#harry-potter-textposts

[honeylemonntea]

Remus: “They’re just so frustrating.”

Remus: “Regulus has been dropping obvious hints that he likes James and he still doesn’t get it!”

Sirius: *wearing a ‘PLEASE SNOG ME, MOONY’ hat* “Wow that’s crazy”

[propussyslayer]

sirius: so what do you do for a living

remus: i hunt and kill zombies

sirius: the fuck no you don't

remus: have you ever seen one?

sirius: no?

remus: then you are fucking welcome

[wolvesandshine]

Barty: I’m going to kill my dad

Evan: Sure we can kill my dad too my house is on the way

Regulus: I volunteer killing my parents as a trial run

Everyone else:

[my-castles-crumbling]

Sirius, introducing Regulus to his friends after they reconcile: …and this is my friend Remus!

Regulus, rolling his eyes: Sirius, I’ve seen you two in the hall. I told you I’m gay. You don’t have to lie to me.

Sirius, confused: What?

Remus, nervous: What?

Regulus, turning to James: Are they seriously that oblivious?

James, distracted by Regulus’s eyes: What?

[rhetorical-conscience]

Regulus: That's ridiculous, Potter doesn't have a crush on me.

Dorcas: Yes he does.

Barty: Yes he does.

Pandora: Yes he does.

Evan: Yes he does.

Remus: Yes he does.

Lily: Yes he does.

Marlene: Yes he does.

Random portrait on the fourth floor: Yes he does.

James: Yes I do.

[daddiesdrarryy]

Draco: Seriously, Potter, how many of you freaks do I have to fight?

Harry: Oh, I’m the only one that matters, Malfoy. See, you messed with my friends, and now I’m going to fuck you

Everyone: …

Ron: It’s “fuck you up,” Harry

Harry: Wait, what did I say?

[b0wi3sgir1]

[texting]

Sirius: WHERE ARE YOU AND MY BROTHER??

James: WE’RE FUCKING

James: GETTING [not delivered]

James: DRINKS [not delivered]

Sirius: IM SORRY WHAT

James: WAIT [not delivered]

Sirius: YOU BROTHERFUCKER YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU JUST STARTED

[accio-sriracha]

Sirius Anything-But-Black.

~~~♤~~~

Sirius hates his last name. He always joked around by going by his friend's names instead.

Sirius Potter was the most common, of course. He was practically raised by the Potter's, he and James had been brothers for years of course he was a Potter.

Second was Pettigrew, mostly when joking around with Peter.

He'd make comments like "This is why it's so great to be a part of the Pettigrew family!" and "Don't you dare disrespect the Pettigrew Brothers!"

A handful of times he even used Lily's last name, referring to himself as Sirius Evans.

She finds it hilarious, as soon as she catches on that he hates his last name she starts calling him Evans too.

Whenever she'd pass by the group and greet James as Potter, she'd always make sure to reply to Sirius' "Hey, Evans!" With a "Hello, Evans." In return.

Every once in a while he used their other friend's names too; Meadowes, Longbottom, McKinnon, he went as far as to use McGonagall once and nearly got detention for a week.

But he never used Lupin.

Remus asks him one lazy Saturday morning as the group was sprawled across the furniture in the common room.

He'd wondered for years, they all secretly had, but it never meant enough to any of them to really ask.

"Why do you never go by Sirius Lupin?" Remus asked, filling the lull in conversation.

It was supposed to be a casual question, but there was nothing casual about the look Sirius gave him when he replied,

"Because you haven't asked me to marry you yet, Moons."

The room was silent. Remus and Sirius were staring at each other for a long time. Remus slowly stood up and walked over to him, kneeling down in front of his chair,

"Sirius, will you marry me?" He whispered.

"Of course, Remus." Sirius breathed.

Nobody else could tell if they were joking or not. They'd never once shown feelings towards each other, nothing more than what they normally did.

Remus wasn't even gay.

But then, all of the sudden, Remus and Sirius were found walking the halls hand in hand, placing gentle kisses on each other's cheeks.

They started sleeping in the same bed at night, Remus curled on his side with his nose nuzzled against Sirius' neck.

Sirius exclusively went by Sirius Lupin now, refusing to go by anything else. He also made it very clear to all of his suitors that he was engaged and off the market.

The others still couldn't quite tell how much further they would go for the bit, but they seemed happy?? So they were all happy too.

Immediately after graduation they got married and made it official. Everyone was kinda blown away, but then again, it was Remus and Sirius, they've kind of always been dating, even when they weren't.

The others finally asked years later if they'd been secretly dating prior to that, since it was the only thing that made sense.

Sirius shook his head, "No, I had no idea Rem liked me back. I was just really in love with him."

Remus nodded, explaining he wasn't actually sure if Sirius was joking or not either at first, but he was too in love to question it, and took the chance he got.

It ended up working out, Sirius was now- in all ways including legally- Mr. Sirius Lupin.

And he'd never been happier.

~~~♤~~~

[marauderstars]

James Potter was red-green colourblind so all the hcs about him accidentally wearing Regulus’ tie to breakfast are entirely accurate. That shit happened daily.

[redadidassneakers]

Wolfstar raising Harry

Harry: *watching Remus pour Coca-Cola down the sink* what are you doing?

Remus: I’m using this to dissolve whatever gunk is clogging the drain

Harry: cool, do you think it will dissolve the screwdriver that’s down there?

Remus: the fucking what?

[honeylemonntea]

Regulus: Do you think your family likes me?

James: My mum literally begged you to marry me

[propussyslayer]

james "oh i guess i am a bisexual" potter

regulus "swallowed by the tension winding up in my own household, i feel i must fill my duties as the true heir to The Noble House of Black and provide them with an offspri- is that James Potter half naked after quidditch practice oh lord im abouta-" black

[wolvesandshine]

Barty may have been fucking insane but he was also a genius who scored 12 O’s for OWLS without breaking a sweat

[jiangyanlissidepiece]

Little Harry: what were you and Papa like when you first met?

James, smiling: we instantly hit it off!

Regulus: uh, no. I threatened to rip out your eyes and feed them to you.

James: ah, but that was when I knew you were the one.

[moonyscane]

james: hey, pads? can i get some dating advice?

sirius: just because i’m with remus doesn’t mean i know how i did it.

james: okayy, but what does reg like?

sirius: REGULUS??!

[thesun-thestars]

If an animagus potion requires the brewer to hold a mandrake leaf in their mouths for a month, imagine James, Sirius, and Peter…going silent for a MONTH.

After a week alone all of the students at Hogwarts would be SO on edge.