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lovelyjj · 7 months

Note

Heyy❤️ I love your stories so much! And I came to request something which might be weird and disgusting but hear me out….🤭

JJ and kook reader have been dating for some time and both are crazy in love although she’s kook she’s Pogue at heart and has understood JJ since day one and both create TikToks and have sleepovers and…she even transferred from kook academy to jj, pope and Kiara’s school to be close to him and the pogues and she happens to sit next to JJ and all 4 of them sit on the same desk group and both reader and JJseem horny so he secretly fingers her in class🫣

Dirty

jj maybank x fem!reader

warnings: fingering in public (I think that’s it)

wc: 1.3k

a/n: go easy on me, this is like my third smut i’ve ever written

JJ and you were inseparable. You were always together. It was rare to see one of you without the other. You were also stupidly in love and anyone could see it.

You were in the living room of the château scrolling on your phone. You were on TikTok and you came across a trend. The trend was to ask your partner to kiss you like they would on your wedding day.

You immediately wanted to try that with JJ. You secretly set up your phone camera and pressed record. Then you called for him to come over to where you were.

JJ eventually came into the living room. He eyed the camera suspiciously but didn’t say anything.

“What’s up babe?” JJ questioned.

“I want you to kiss me like you would on our wedding day.”

“Are you serious?”

“Yeah i’m being serious.” You let out a frustrated huff.

“Baby you think about our wedding?”

“of course I do, don’t you?” you responded.

“I mean yeah but I didn’t think-“

“Just shut up and kiss me maybank.”

“Right well i want to do this right,” JJ stated.

JJ went up to you and grabbed your face. He cradled your face in his hands gently. JJ was grinning into the kiss. JJ kissed the life out of you. He kissed you with so much passion it made you dizzy.

JJs blood was rushing through his veins. The kiss was heated and frantic. Your stomach felt tingly. You were giddy kissing him. Your lips were crushing together. Your hands snaked up into JJ’s hair.

JJ rested his forehead against yours once you stopped kissing. “You know I love you right?”

“Yeah I know, but I love you more,” you stated.

“Not possible.” JJ gave you one last little peck.

Then you went to your phone and hit stop on the recording.

Later in the day when you and JJ were cuddled up on the couch you posted your TikTok. After a while you checked to see how it did. You got a ton of likes and a few comments. One was from Sarah that said, “you guys are too cute!”

You and JJ were spending the night at the château in JJ’s designated room. You were cuddled up together enjoying each other’s company.

“So marriage huh?” JJ put out.

“I can’t wait to have a future with you in it.”

“Me ether.”

“Do you want a big wedding or a small wedding?” JJ questioned.

“Maybe a small wedding on the beach,” you answered.

“The beach sounds nice,” JJ commented.

“Yeah and maybe for flowers there could be blue hydrangeas or purple dahlias.”

“You can have any flowers you want baby,” JJ replied.

“How about a cake?” JJ continued.

“Hmmm maybe chocolate no red velvet no no chocolate for sure.”

JJ chuckled. You lifted your head off of JJ’s chest and turned your head to see him laugh. You loved how his face lit up and his eyes crinkled.

“We have plenty of time to plan the wedding but I have to propose first.”

“Yeah no pressure,” you laughed.

“You know when were married we can have sleepovers every night,” you smiled.

“Of course we will,” JJ exclaimed.

“I love you JJ.”

“I love you more angel,” JJ said as he pressed a kiss to your hair.

“Get some rest.”

You cuddled more into JJ and let sleep overtake you.

————-

A week later you had some exciting news, and you couldn’t wait to tell your boyfriend JJ.

You were running into the château when you were met with a hard chest.

“Woah there girly,” JJ warned.

You were jumping up and down with excitement. “I have some news.”

“Well spit it out,” JJ ordered.

“Ok ok are you ready for this? I’m transferring from the kook academy to your school, can you believe it?”

“Wait are you for real?” JJ questioned.

“Yes! I hope your not sick of me because I’m gonna be at school with you all day long,” you grinned as you continued to bounce up and down.

“I could never be sick of you! I’m so happy.”

“When do you start?” JJ asked.

“Monday,” you answered.

————-

School came around quickly and you were excited to have JJ with you at school.

It was Monday and you went to the office to get your schedule.

JJ quickly took your schedule and compared it to his.

“I can’t believe it we have four classes together.” JJ announced.

“Really? Yay,” you squealed.

The school day was everything you wanted and more. You really loved being in the same school as JJ.

You were both in your fourth period and were surprised when you got seated at a table with your friends.

You were in Mr. Sunn’s history class. JJ was seated next to you and Pope and Kiara were in front of you their tables pressed together and your table on the side of theirs making a table group.

Mr. Sunn was rambling on and on and you were not paying attention at all. Your cheek was pressed against your hand and you were looking at JJ. He was gorgeous.

You began looking at his hands adorned in rings. Your mind started to go somewhere else. You thought about his hands wrapping around your throat. Then you thought about his fingers inside you and you were already flushing.

JJ started to look over at you and he was confused to see you all flustered. He looked down and saw your legs squeezing together and then he figured out you were feeling needy.

JJ looked at your chest and saw your cleavage peaking out from your shirt and all the blood rushed to his dick. JJ was feeling horny all of a sudden.

JJ moved his hand to your upper thigh and looked into your eyes.

“Can you be a good girl and be quiet for me?” he whispered.

“Mmhmm,” you hummed.

JJ reached under your shorts and moved you panties aside. He traced a finger through your folds and you bit your lip to suppress your moan at the sensation.

“God you’re dripping. Dirty girl,” JJ smirked.

JJ placed a kiss on your shoulder and then proceeded to slide his finger into your hole. Your legs clamped together around his hand when his digit entered you.

JJ was enjoying himself watching you squirm.

JJ started to add another finger when you let out a little yelp.

Pope and Kiara turned towards you and gave you a confused look. They of course were oblivious to what was happening under the table.

JJ moved his thumb to circle your clit. You jerked forward at the contact, biting your lip so hard you could taste blood. Your hands were gripping the table so hard your knuckles were turning white.

JJ thrusted his fingers in and out setting a fast pace. JJ curled his fingers inside you making your eyes roll back as he reached your g spot.

“Gonna cum for me princess?” JJ whispered huskily.

“Yes J,” you breathed.

Your body felt like it ignited with fire. You were hot and your stomach was tingly. You felt that familiar tightening in your stomach and you knew you were about to coat JJ’s hand in your release.

“Oh god,” you mouthed. You clamped down on his fingers and your orgasm jolted through you. JJ’s thumb was pushing on your clit and his fingers worked in and out of you as you came.

JJ took his fingers and popped them in his mouth. You were embarrassed and covered your face as JJ licked up your juices.

When the class was over you were practically jumping out of your seat. You were antsy and wanted to get out.

JJ caught up to you as you fast walked out of class.

“When we get home, I’m gonna fuck you so good you won’t be able to walk,” JJ spoke in your ear. You couldn’t wait for the school day to be over.

460 notes · View notes

junowritings · 6 months

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Hello ☺️💚

I hope I can request something, if they are closed please feel free to delete this 🌺🌺

I absolutely I adored your NRC amnesiac MC story with the dorms and would love to see more. It just hit all the tropes I love so much and adore.

Maybe with the rest of the dorms? As scenarios?? Or imagines?? (Honestly I’m a confused when it comes to those terms, so whichever is easier for you)

With pomefiore, ignihyde, and diasomnia? I feel like Vil is going to take one look at mc and go “okay, time to take care of another potato” but lovingly, ignihyde is going ortho is “I have another sibling” and gosh diasomnia is practically family and lilia is going “time to adopt another one 👏👏”

I just found the idea so so cute, but feel free to do whatever you want ☺️🌺

Right so first off I'M SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG I'M SO HAPPY YOU LIKED THE ORIGINAL ONE!!! Also thank you so much for all the kind comments that you leave on my post I see every single one and it still makes my day to re-read them!

But also GOD I love this idea too and I got way too carried away with this. There's a lot of TWST I gotta catch up on (haven't been able to start chapter 7 yet) so I had to work with what I've got in terms of knowledge of Diasomnia.

I hope this was well worth the wait~! (OG scenario here btw)

Pomefiore

♡ Time passes at Night Raven College, and life continues to move on, as it always has. It’s been months without a single shred of your memories resurfacing, and with no sign of anything returning anytime soon the attention has turned from your past, to your present. Your memory loss has become a simple fact of life at this point, a reality that you had to put on the back burner with everything else that had happened since your arrival and during the winter holidays. You’re thankful that the needless prodding seems to have died down by the time that students start returning back to the school and classes resume. Things return to the only sense of normalcy you’ve ever known, and you think you can get used to this without another incident.

♡ Until VDC happens.

♡ Ramshackle is the only place you have to call home, but even you can admit that it needs a lot of work. It’s a poor excuse for a building, considering the state that it had been left in far before anyone called it home. It at least had running water, and electricity, but compared to the other dorms and their meticulous upkeep by both students and staff, Ramshackle is most certainly the odd dorm out with only two members and a handful of ghosts to its name. And yet it’s the place that the headmaster deems an acceptable place to host the VDC group during their month ‘training camp’.

♡ It makes it easier knowing that you’re good friends with the majority of the group, having been through plenty before the training camp even started. In some weird way it’s kind of like a month-long sleepover with your friends and classmates, not unlike the times Kalim’s dragged you over to Scarabia for the night in the name of making fond memories. Still, you can’t help but feel cautious around the Pomfiore members you now have living under your roof, and how little you actually know about them.

♡ By this point, the fact that you’ve got no memories prior to ending up in Twisted Wonderland is pretty much common knowledge amongst the people who bother to keep tabs on you. And considering how Pomefiore’s got the likes of Rook, a skilled hunter who has a penchant for people watching anyone who catches his eye, you’ve got no doubts that they’re well aware of your circumstances.

♡That, and Crowley’s a loudmouth when it comes to his generosity about your ‘unfortunate situation’. That headmaster is really starting to test your patience…

♡ While Vil is strict, he’s by no means cruel, and is at least polite when you first allow them all into your home. He thankfully doesn’t pity you like you worried he would - you’ve had enough of the pitying looks some people give you when they think you’re not looking. Your lack of a past isn’t something you want to dwell on, Vil can see that clearly with how thoroughly you throw yourself into the training camp alongside your friends and new acquaintances. Not to mention that you act as a surprisingly good buffer between the members whenever tensions start to arise with the upcoming deadline.

♡ It’s admirable really - a single minded little spudling if he’s ever seen one. You’ve got promise, if you keep up that resilient attitude, so Vil offers you no quarter in getting you just as involved in this little training excursion as the others are, if only to help you flourish with enough memories of this upcoming event to last you for a lifetime.

♡ With that being said your thirst for knowledge isn’t to be underestimated, and once you find out that Vil’s pretty much a celebrity and acting prodigy you’re intrigued. Vil’s walking past the living room after the group’s come back from another day training at the ballroom and freezes once he hears his own voice coming through the door. Sure enough you’re lounging over the couch watching one of the more obscure movie titles Vil’s acted in on the phone Crowley ‘gifted’ you before winter break. There’s a blunt honesty when you praise his work once you notice you’ve got an audience. Sure, it’s praise he’s heard from adoring fans and critics more times than he could ever hope to recall, but it’s not something you’re saying just to try and get in his good books. When you offhandedly mention that he looks a little happier in the roles where he’s not the villain, noting that they suit him and that whatever world you’re from he’d probably be a big hit, you swear that he gets a bit smug, apparently pleased by whatever you’d said. You may not know all the ins and outs of this world yet, but Vil’s at least sure you’ve got taste. Which is why he turns a convenient blind eye at the treats you smuggle up to Grim and your room after he’s sure you swore to Ace and Deuce to follow along with their no-sweet regime.

♡ Rook is observant, and it’s hard for people not to feel like he’s prying a bit too much into their personal lives when they happen to gain the huntsman’s attention. Perhaps it’s because you’ve got a relatively blank slate, or that you’re so focused on forging ahead to whatever comes next that you’ll get involved at a moment’s notice. Whatever the quality it has piqued his interest, and from the moment that the camp starts he’s committing every little detail about you to memory.

♡ You may not see it, but there’s so many details in the actions that you do and your daily routines that tell the story of who you are to whoever is diligent enough to listen. It’s in your mannerisms and the way you engage with everything around you, all easily missed to the untrained eye. It’s beautiful in its own way, and Rook is nothing if not an appreciator of that beauty.

♡ Your homestead at Ramshackle is but another shining example of who you are as well. Having nothing but the clothes on your back and a basic understanding of how to function when you first arrived, it’s clear that you’ve made a concentrated effort to at least make the place liveable for you and Grim; not just as a shelter, but as a home. Because of course this is the only place you can call home, and Rook is sure to treat it with the respect such an important place deserves.

♡ Epel doesn’t really know what to make of you at first. You’re from a different world entirely, for one thing, and not having any kind of past beyond school makes him feel a bit awkward about interacting with you. According to Vil, Epel’s still rather rough around the edges, and when his emotions get the better of him he’s been known to put his foot in it and say something that comes off blunt and snappy. Plus, surely there was only so much the two of you could talk about that wasn’t VDC or school related, right?

♡ He’s proven wrong when that huge batch of apple juice from his nana back home is delivered to Ramshackle’s doorstep. All it takes is him mentioning to Kalim that his hometown is known for its apples, and before he can even elaborate your voice chimes in with a helpful “Oh,the village of Harvest, right?” that has Epel’s attention snapping over to you so quickly you think you’ve done something wrong.

♡How did you even know that? His hometown’s barely on the map to begin with, so it genuinely makes him freeze when you recognize it so quickly. The question bugs him until he’s able to ask you about it later, where he finds out just how much you’ve thrown yourself into learning about this world you’ve ended up in. You’re excited that someone’s finally asking you about stuff that you do know, and you pretty much end up talking poor Epel’s ear off for the rest of the evening, telling him all kinds of facts you’ve read up on regarding his hometown’s history and culture. Hell, you spout off a few facts that even he didn’t know about, and he doesn’t miss the proud grin on your face once you learn that.

♡Surprisingly, you want to hear more from Epel too. About the place he grew up, the people he grew up with - his family especially. You’ve had some time to process your own grief around your potential family and your life back home, and though there’s still a twinge of jealousy that sparks up on the bad days you don’t want it to hinder the people that you care about right now. And so you sit, and you listen, prodding him for as much information as he’s willing to give. He practically has to send a message to his nana there and then thanking her on your behalf for all the juice when you learn that she was the one kind enough to send them all over. It’s the only way to get you off of his back about it, but there’s no denying that it’s actually kind of nice having someone who’s genuinely curious about his upbringing, instead of snooping or looking down on it.

♡Even after VDC you’re surprised to find that Pomefiore’s promptly nestled itself into your life. With everything that took place before and after the group's performance it only made sense that they’ve bonded to their newest potato, just be prepared for what exactly that entails. Expect plenty of gifts in the form of the latest cosmetic brands and accessories to be delivered to Ramshackle (much to Grim’s disappointment because it’s not food.) You’ve even had yourself called all the way over to Pomefiore’s dorm only to come back with entire outfits just because you let slip once that Crowley’s budget for your dorm doesn’t cover enough to justify buying anything more than your uniform.

♡ Those aren’t the only gifts you receive too. Often when you’re hanging out with the first year group Epel’s got one thing or another that his family back home has practically strong-armed him into giving to you. He’s talked about you to his folks a few times thanks to the whole apple incident, and Marja herself has made Epel remind you more than a couple times that you’re always welcome at the village of Harvest when the next school breaks come up. Did that embarrass Epel? Yes. Did it make him panic when you immediately teared up because of how touching it was? Also yes.

♡ Pomefiore’s final gifts are small, but mean just as much. They also confuse the hell out of you because when did they even show up??? They’re specific things - things related to your hobbies like new books, CD’s, Movies of your favorite genre for you to enjoy (in case Crowley ever caves and gets you that TV on sale at Sam’s store that he’s been promising you for weeks now goddammit-). All placed somewhere that you’re sure to find them. These gifts are well thought out and honestly mean a lot once you realize who they’re from. Not to mention that there’s a folder with a beautiful decorated cover amongst these little surprises, a clear label reading ‘Memory book’ in very familiar handwriting. Thank god the mystery is solved once you find out Grim’s being bribed with tuna by a certain bob-cut huntsman to drop all these things off at Ramshackle (Grim was supposed to give them to you in hand, but he always gets too bored to do so before you get back from school.) So long as you come to terms with the fact that you’ve been pseudo-adopted into Pomfiore’s ranks by the end of it, it’s honestly kind of nice.

♡Just maybe don’t tell Vil that you may have accidentally made friends with his biggest rival on the day of the event because you ran into him backstage. Rook is certainly happy about it - Vil not so much.

Ignihyde

♡ Your friendship with the housewarden of Ignihyde can be rather prickly in light of everything that’s happened, especially after the events with S.T.Y.X. Before that your only real contact with the Shroud brothers was through Ortho, during your first run in at the audition waiting room. You didn’t hide your excitement once you learned that Idia had made the vocal synthesizer that Ortho was using for the VDC auditions, marveling about how cool it was and asking question after question about how he did it. Ortho is more than happy to answer each and every question you have and then some - especially once you learned Technomancy was a thing and just about lit up like a lightbulb. In fact Ace and Deuce basically have to strong arm you away from the conversation in the end because you’re gonna end up making them late for the damn audition.

♡ You at least have the chance to call out to Ortho to tell his brother that he sounds awesome and his stuff is cool before the ballroom door shuts behind you. And that’s exactly what he tells Idia as soon as he’s back from the auditions. Idia thinks that you’re just pulling his leg and don’t actually mean any of the nice things that you say, and it takes Ortho insisting on playing it to him on his memory bank multiple times to prove just how genuinely nice and excited you sounded.

♡ Idia doesn’t really expect to hear anything from you after that, but hoo boy is he mistaken because once you’ve gotten in one of the Shroud boys’ good books the other one (reluctantly) follows. Not that he has much of a choice, because not even a couple of days after the auditions Idia’s getting added to a group chat with him, Ortho and you. It’s supposedly because you’d wanted to ask him a few more questions about his tech, and after Ortho had mentioned his brother probably wouldn’t like the face to face grilling, a group chat with the younger Shroud as the middleman was born. Grim sometimes forces his way into the conversation, but that usually involves him demanding you to write down the texts for him or slapping the nearest meme on your phone into the chat completely out of context.

♡Ortho has a lot of fun chatting with you because he shares your passion for learning things, and the two of you become thick as thieves over it before and after he officially becomes a student. He’s basically got the internet at his fingertips at all times, alongside a variety of other tools that basically make the younger Shroud brother a walking hub of information. You, for one, are absolutely living your best life because whatever odd subject has caught your attention, no matter the question you can always ask Ortho and he is more than happy to provide you whatever fun fact you’re looking for within a matter of moments. You get a bit quiet once he mentions the memories he was given during his creation, but that’s to be expected given the circumstances that you’re working with.

♡ At first, getting Idia to even pop up in the chat is like pulling on a gacha - you’ve got a good 2% chance of him actually interacting, though he does check in a lot more than you’d expect. With time however, and more than a little persistence on your part, you’ll find cracks in Idia’s defenses. He finds it easier to talk to people behind the safety of a screen, and it's not like you’re forcing him to interact with you so that at least gets you some brownie points. Granted, expect him to prod juuuuust a little bit if the topic of your memories come up in chat. He’s sure he hasn’t got enough of a bond rank with you yet

♡Things go up in the air when S.T.Y.X breaks into NRC.

♡ It was one thing having all of these people who you’d come to call friends suddenly stolen away, but losing Grim? The one who’s been your rock since you first showed up who’s been a part of every single memory you’ve made? If Rook wasn’t already planning to sneak out to find them you would have tore through their headquarters with your bare hands to get that damn tuna loving weird rock eating fluff ball back. Once you found out what S.T.Y.X actually had their hands in, especially considering the Lethe River system you were pissed. If you didn’t know for a fact that you were from another world entirely, and that the system operated to a very specific set of procedures for rewriting and erasing set memories, you would have thought that it had something to do with your own memory erasure. If that was the case you probably would have throttled the poor older Shroud; but because you know the truth, and the system itself is down for the next few centuries you settle for being absolutely livid about it.

♡ It’s a sore spot, hitting a little too close to home knowing that there’s people out there who have had memories taken away from them or altered to protect S.T.Y.X’s existence. It’s nothing like your own situation, but you can’t help feeling angry for them. And on top of that, seeing all of those phantoms and knowing that they could have been your friends if you hadn’t been able to bring them back from their overblots? You may try to think of every memory being worth it, but you learn that some bad memories keep you up at night for days after you’re all finally home.

♡ Your friendship with the brothers is tentatively built back up after this, but it takes a bit of work. Idia’s convinced that you’re never going to want anything to do with either of them again after all that’s happened. So convinced that he nearly has a heart attack when you reach out into the group chat once you’ve had time to process things and recover.

♡ Gonna be honest, the wonderlink he gets for you and Grim becomes a huge olive branch once you’re settled back at Ramshackle. Your determination to make memories alongside not having a clue how the gaming system works leads to you either calling Idia over the phone or actually wrangling him into coming over to play with you. Whether by accident or purpose most of the games you purchased on the system he gave you are multiplayer and you insist that there’s absolutely no way just the two of you can place and that you need a gaming expert. Of course Idia sees through your poorly veiled attempts to get him to socialize, but you must have pulled some cheat code because you somehow manage to get him over to play with you two. Just be ready to have more than a few memories of losing - he’s a gaming pro for a reason, after all.

Diasomnia

♡ You’ve firmly wormed your way into the Diasomnia circle from the moment that you first encountered Malleus, whether you realize it at first or not.

♡ Mallues may not be the most intimately involved in the school's affairs or gossip, but even he’s heard talk of the prefect from another world with neither magic nor memories to their name. The lack of magical aptitude wasn’t anything to bat an eye at, though it was unfortunate given your current enrollment at one of the top arcane colleges in the world. But to have no recollections of your life prior to enrolling? In a place where no one can recognize you or give you the answers that you’re looking for? Truly, an unfortunate set of circumstances you’ve been dealt.

♡ He did not expect to cross paths with this infamous prefect on Ramshackle’s grounds not long after word of them popped up. The old bones of the place were a comfort to Malleus on many nightly walks; when he finds out that it’s no longer as abandoned as he first thought he’s sour at the knowledge that he’ll have to find another place to pass his time in peace. The last thing that Malleus expects is you being bold enough not only to approach him, but to greet him so casually as you none too subtly try to pry into what he’s doing walking around your dorm grounds.

♡ Perhaps you’ve lost more than just your memories, as there’s not even a shred of trepidation or cautiousness as you so boldly interact with the fae. Not only that but you listen, looking up at him not with the nervousness or even fear that he’s seen in the faces of most of NRC’s students, but with curiosity. You’re a stranger to this world, so you don’t yet know the name Malleus Draconia, nor the face the name is tied to. For once your lack of knowledge works to someone’s benefit, and an unusual bond is formed.

♡ Your friendship with Malleus is an interesting exchange - you provide him company and idle conversation whenever he spirits away to Ramshackle; and he provides you company in turn, as well as a willing ear for you to confide in. Sure, your friends have told you that you can talk to them about your problems, but for some reason you’re able to open up easily to Mal. Maybe it’s because of just how little you know about him, right down to his very name - he’s just as much of a blank slate to you as yourself. So you find yourself sharing your worries about where you came from, or the life you lived before this, or the general distress of not knowing the first thing to do about getting your memory back.

♡ Even after all these months it still weighs heavily on you, Malleus can see it in the tired expression that wears on your face when you recall all the things you’ve done to bring back even a shred of your old identity until your head’s pounding and your eyes ache. He hates seeing you troubling yourself over it, and more than once he’s found himself flickering through old books and tomes that haven’t been touched in centuries back home with the small hope to relieve some of that burden from your mind.

♡ On a happier note, Malleus will quite happily fill you in on subjects that peak your interest. He may have lived a fairly isolated life up until his enrollment here, but even what he does know about NRC and the world outside of it he’ll share with you, if only to see the way your expression lights up in wonder hearing everything he has to share.

♡ This dynamic changes very little, aside from the fact that now that you know his true identity these interactions are no longer purely one sided in the sense that you don’t have to wait around for him to just magically appear like you have been for months. Now he’s the one being surprised by your presence when you come knocking on Diasomnia’s doors looking to hang out. Surprising, but it honestly makes the young Draconia’s day having you march through his dorm’s halls wanting to spend time with him, encouraging him to talk about his day and asking how Roaring Drago is doing as you do so.

♡ It’s an unusual feeling, having someone’s undivided attention simply because they enjoy your company, and that you leave such an impressionable impact on their memory. Your memory is a precious commodity considering your unique circumstances, and Malleus realizes that he wants to be in as many fond memories as you’ll allow him to.

♡ Though he has to admit, Malleus can’t shake the conflict that dwells in his chest whenever the topic of your home world comes up. Perhaps it’s just in your nature to yearn for something you’ve never known, but he wonders if you’re thinking about it because your worried about your ties to this world. He hopes that once you realize the life that you’re building here, and the memories that you’re making with him and your friends will be enough to convince you to stay. But that day is far away, and so he pushes it to the back of his mind in favor of enjoying the time spent with his closest friend, for however long it lasts…

♡Lilia, catches onto the friendship you’ve got with Malleus quickly, because of course there’s no hiding how much happier Malleus has become. You’re an interesting case yourself, being able to tackle most of the problems that Ramshackle has to offer you and come out the other side as unscathed as you can be. That coupled with the increased amount of time you begin spending around Daisomnia and its students is more than enough reason to catch this guy’s attention. He learns about your memory loss early on, especially considering that it’s pretty much the talk of the school once the information drops. He won’t prod you about it like some of the younger students might, however; he’s been on this earth long enough to recognize a sore subject when he sees one.

♡ And so he sets about learning things about you in the present rather than the past. Your likes, dislikes, favorite foods, how easily shocked you get when he tries one of his infamous surprise appearances. Lilia’s very easygoing so it’s rather easy to get along with him, not to mention being a dad he’s got the comforting parental presence down pat when he wants to use it. He’s an easy person to let your guard down around, and admit things you usually wouldn’t. Maybe that’s why you end up talking to him about the what-if’s of your previous life.

♡ It’s a moment of weakness, you let one of your idle thoughts about your family back home slip, asking aloud if there’s anyone there to actually miss you. Lilia doesn’t miss the somber chuckle as you admit that you’re a little jealous - Sebek has his parents, and Silver has Lilia. You want a family like that. You try to lighten the mood by jokingly asking why someone can’t whisk you away into their family already, thinking about that time Kalim very nearly got you adopted into his family once he learned of your memory loss. You don’t expect an answer, much less for the moment to suddenly be broken as the fae pats your head ruffling your hair. No doubt he’s made your hair a mess by the action, but you’re more focused on the grin Lilia gives you when he mentions always wanting a big family - he’s sure Silver wouldn’t mind having a new sibling!

♡Unrelated but Lilia loves sharing old stories with you. Some of the things he shares you vaguely recall reading about in some history books at the library; some of those books were so old you have to wrack your brain trying to do the mental gymnastics to figure out exactly how old he is. He is thoroughly entertained seeing the mild existential crisis inducing cogs turning in your head as he continues his tales, waiting for you to inevitably jump into the story to prod him for more information. Just wait until Malleus shows you that one textbook that’s got Lilia’s portrait in; Lilia doesn’t hear the end of it when you come flying into his room mid game with the textbook in hand demanding to know how the hell he looks the same in a portrait taken centuries ago and waiting like a stubborn child next to his chair as he finishes the raid he’s working through with Gloomurai.

♡ Maybe if you weren’t so desperate for answers, you would have noticed that his friend’s gamer tag looks kinda familiar…

♡ Offered to cook you your favorite dish once. You thought it was a nice gesture, until Sebek and Silver made a joint effort to wrangle you away from the scene, basically pleading with Lilia to please not step foot into the kitchen. That’s probably one thing you’re better off not learning about…

♡ When Sebek first runs into you at NRC, he almost fools himself into thinking that you’re playing up the amnesia for some unforeseen gain. He’s not the first student to have had their doubts, and honestly you can’t entirely blame him for just how weird ‘complete memory loss aside from remembering basic functions and muscle memory’ sounds even without the whole context of this being a world governed by magic. However, what makes Sebek different is that he approaches the subject about as delicately as a falling brick. You’re only half listening as he’s demanding answers for things you don’t even know yourself, already fed up with the whole rigmarole of people throwing questions about your amnesia at you.

♡There’s only so much you can hear about memories this, hiding that before you snap back, hissing out that you’d give just about anything for it to be a lie rather than spending every night guessing where you’ve come from and who you’ve left behind while he’s got the luxury of knowing the kind of life he’s lived before this damn school. That shuts him up faster than you’ve ever seen, jaw snapping closed so hard you swear you hear his teeth click together as you turn heel and generate as much distance between the two of you as possible.

♡ He feels guilty afterwards; Sebek may be a bit of a livewire but even he knows when he’s taken things a bit too far, and it’s clear to see his prying has left you feeling more than a little bitter towards him. Thankfully team dad Lilia is right there to offer advice on smoothing things over in a way that doesn’t result in things looping back around to the original argument. It takes a little while to come to terms with the fact that Sebek genuinely didn’t mean any malice in his prodding; with him on a determined path to become a knight worthy to protect Malleus he wants to know that he can trust you before allowing any kind of potential friendship to form. The way that he went about it however was blunt and came off way ruder than intended; that’s something you can both agree on when he bellows out an apology in the middle of the damn hallway when you cross paths the next day.

♡ He comes to respect how diligently you work despite your initial setbacks coming to Twisted Wonderland with such limited knowledge. What he once thought was an attempt to pry into things for malicious gain he finds is actually just a desire to understand the world around you and the people who inhabit it. Sebek has relayed his respect to you before, in his own way, and thankfully you’ve spent enough time around him to know that he genuinely means every word of it.

♡ Will actively spur on your thirst for knowledge. The first time he lent you a book because he thought the material would give you something to think about, he fully expected it to be weeks before you’d finished. Cut to the next night and you’re unceremoniously dropping that same book onto his bedroom desk, sitting down next to him as you exclaim how cool the book was and your favorite highlights.

♡ Of course Sebek quizzes you about it, but when it’s clear you’ve actually taken an interest in the book he’s given you expect to be walking home that night with a new pile of them to pour over to your heart's content. He’s got his own passion for books, and the pair of you bond over this shared activity a lot more than people realize. Lilia almost can’t believe his eyes how quickly Sebek’s hot-blooded attitude simmers down into something more tempered whenever you come over to gush about the latest book he’s recommended to you.

♡You made a joke once about being adopted by Sebek’s parents while he was on call back home, if only to get a laugh out of the smoldering glare he shot you from the other side of the couch. That laugh however breaks out into a full on cackle hearing his parents actually agreeing with you as you shuffle across the couch and pluck the phone from Sebek’s hands while he’s frozen in shock. His mom is thrilled; Sebek, decidedly, is not, as a pillow from the couch goes sailing across the room as you flee from the scene, disappearing into Daisomnia’s halls with Sebek’s phone to tell your second adopted family all about how he’s been making them proud at NRC.

♡ Silver doesn’t miss the signs that you’ve essentially been pseudo-adopted by his father and the other Diasomnia members, though he doesn’t know that you haven’t clocked onto it yet. Considering how Malleus considers you a close confidant, Lilia is basically treating you like another one of his children, and Sebek seems to actually enjoy having you around it’s easy to think that you’ve noticed just how much everyone cares for you. And of course you care for them in return; more than once you’ve stopped by during Silver and Sebek’s training with something from the cafeteria, or you’ve brought the oddest little things you’ve found at Sam’s shop to show off how cool they are (all of which he’s pretty sure he’s seen scattered around Malleus’ room whenever you bring a new item to the dorm.)

♡ You’re quickly becoming such an integral part of Diasomnia’s life that it’s getting harder to imagine a time without you here, and these guys have become all you’ve ever known in the same way. So it’s shocking to Silver when one of the other students mentions that you’ve basically been adopted into the dorm - you’re there so much you’re practically family anyway - and he sees your reaction. You freeze, jaw slack as you process what you’ve just heard. You hardly even notice Grim swiping the sandwich Silver brought you for lunch in your shock, instead glancing up at the Diasomnia boy as if to confirm what you just heard

♡ When he gives you a confused look in return and asks why you’re so shocked since they’re right he practically watches you go through several stages of emotions, right before you’re grabbing him by the lapel of his uniform and guide him to follow you as you bolt over to Crowley’s office. The poor headmaster doesn’t hear the end of your demanding for Grim and yourself to be made honorary Diasomnia members after this. If they’re adopting you, then by the seven you’re getting it in writing from the bird man himself.

♡ Silver mentions once that he wouldn’t mind if you really were adopted into the family. It’s right as he’s on the cusp of another one of his naps, leaning up against your shoulder when he lets slip that he’d be proud to have a sibling like you without thinking anything of it - because of course it’s true, it's just a thought he hasn’t voiced out loud before. Cut to Lilia coming in a minute or two later to check in only to find his son conked out on your shoulder while you’re a blubbering mess over the fact that someone genuinely wants you as part of their family. Lilia feels only marginally bad when he reaffirms the sentiment, him casually throwing out that he already sees you as Silver’s little sibling resulting in you crying harder.

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kookynella · 9 days

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So, I don’t normally write long posts and I thought this was important enough to type a rant, so you’re welcome, I guess:

I was reading a Sydney and Carmen is a slow burn article on Jezebel (they are my Roman Empire, I go down the rabbit hole willingly), and you know, it was clearly a SydCarmy shipping article, so readers were pre-warned by the title. I don’t know why I thought it would be a good idea to read the comment section, but YELP!

And yes, I was offended and outraged, because for what other possible reason would I then come onto tumblr at 6am in the morning to complain when my ADHD-ass should be asleep in bed?!? Well this is the reason.

The comments were all negative and trying to explain why SydxCarmy is a no-go or should be a no-go zone: Sydney & Carmen don’t have chemistry! I don’t see the romance! Romance between them would ruin a good show! Why can’t men and women coworkers be in a healthy platonic relationship! Me Too movement - say NO to boss employee romances! ClairexCarmy makes more sense!

Blah blah blah, [insert more pathetic, banal rationale here], I stopped reading the comments. The actual (cute) article I read with the shit-take comments is linked below, if anyone is interested.

… extended release rant is under the cut….

And really what they were NOT saying out loud, what I highly suspect to be the real reason for their negative stance: racial intolerance. So, here we are - I’m calling it out, as many others have before me: Some people refuse to see a strong, intelligent, woman of colour character have a romantic relationship with their white male lead on prime time television. They are in denial, they are not ready and frankly, not deserving. It’s intolerance.

Because for what other reason could there be for the outright denial of what is clear as day: the characters of Sydney and Carmy ARE romance coded in the story being told, and they (as played by Ayo and JAW) have amazing chemistry (romantic or not). Why else are people so quick to deny the chemistry? To deny the possibility, the opportunity, the overt displays and undertones of romantic coding that Sydney and Carmen have!?!?!

And I will also say this, it’s my opinion, that there is more chemistry between Sydney and Carmy than between Claire and Carmy, there is more emotion and expression in the former duo’s interactions than in the latter’s. And that’s part of the main point of having Claire there - she’s a tool, a distraction to compare and contrast of what is there and could be more/better (Sydney, the future), to what is there and is not fitting/insufficient (Claire, the past).

People really stay reaching with their non-creative excuses to being anti-SydCarmy. Give me an actual reason like, he needs to do a lot of therapy/personal work, she’s got her own baggage to sort out, before they could be in a healthy, emotionally stable relationship. Or if they went there and it didn’t work out and then work/business is impacted in the messiness. Give me actual arguments not made up ones because a black woman and a white man who are in fact compatible (not necessarily healthy), does not fit your aesthetic of romance, love, attraction and chemistry. I see plenty of popular toxic relationships be lapped up and popularised despite the clear reasons of the characters not to date, but because they are “white” it’s welcomed, acceptable and put on a pedestal, and the toxicity is seen as part of the appeal.

Interpersonal relationships is a huge part of the story being told in The Bear - family, friends, found family, colleagues, professional and unprofessional. And Sydney and Carmen’s relationship is the yin and yang amongst it all, they are two sides of the same coin - their passion, their work ethic, their vision, their growth, their trust - THEM, no-one else holds this dynamic, well maybe you could compare Sugar and Pete’s relationship of differences and balancing each other out but like a way chiller version.

As the story unfolds and we learn more about Sydney and Carmen we see that they are better together than apart, they thrive when bouncing ideas off one another and creating, thy are leaders that best lead their team together. When their commitment and communication is open, they are rolling, they are primed, they are evolved and so is their team. They are at their best when they are keyed into each other.

I don’t know much about twin flames (nothing actually, other than MGK and Megan Fox’s touting that title and journalists running with it), but I imagine if I did know anything, I would be able to write a shit tonne more about how Sydney and Carmen are twin flames, soulmates.

Canonically, theirs is definitely a deeper connection formed in a very short amount of time that these two have known each other, and the others in that kitchen see it. It’s palpable. And whether it gets to be romantic or remain platonic we have yet to see, the foundation for romance is there, regardless.

And you can’t tell me that Sydney is not the catalyst for positive change for Carmy. Sydney ignites his creative spark, he envisions something greater for their restaurant and he thinks it’s possible and puts it into action, again because of Sydney entering the scene - “You could do this without me” / “I wouldn’t even want to do this without you”.

Going back to the Jezebel article and the comments, the (majority female) commentators are denying, what I would say by season two, is undeniable - Sydney is Carmy’s person, their relationship has romance tropes/themes throughout it whether the characters are aware or not.

From my opinion, most romantic storyline’s are to entertain and hook in more female audiences, it’s key to marketing, whether done well or not. And sometimes it may not be initially intentioned but when two actors have undeniable chemistry, writers tend to play on that with the characters, and sometimes change storyline’s to fully realise and employ the chemistry. The romance tropes are definitely there for SydxCarmy, ~even if you have to look under a table to find it.

Another point, EVERYTHING in The Bear is intentional - I wasn’t sure what my points were, I came in here to vent, so “bear” with me. The show has great writers, great directors, great actors, great editing, and you can tell they do. Even if they didn’t win all those awards you would know the show is done well. I’m sure film schools will use The Bear for students to dissect the art, because it is exemplary. Anyway back to my point, they didn’t come to play, everything is planned and even if it wasn’t - when it’s left in the final cut: IT IS INTENTIONAL.

The set design, the menu, the costuming, the lighting, the music, the pacing, the dialogue, camera angles, the editing, it is all an intentional choice. And they are choosing to have scenes imbued with intimacy, vulnerability, intensity, emotional rawness, in small spaces, loud, busy spaces, quiet, calm spaces, it’s a busy restaurant after all - things get stressful and wild, and haaaawt for a variety of reasons (mainly people working in close proximity, under a lot of pressure). All these charged moments carry significance for the characters and none get more intimate than Sydney and Carmy in that under the table moment - they slow everything down in that episode for that scene, where he invites her to confide in him her internal worries and she relents, and he reassures her then recommits to her. The world is quiet for one moment so they can have this heart to heart, and they are both willingly exposing themselves emotionally, they bolster each other up as they are bolstering that table, and then he gifts her with an expensive, planned, personalised, gift that he knew she would love (the cost, the effort and attention to detail from Carmy= it’s a designer engagement ring your honour).

And on that note, even when Carmy is spending time with his “she’s not my girlfriend/is she my girlfriend?”, Claire, we have INTENTIONAL shots of Sydney interspersed. Why are they bringing her into the scene when she isn’t physically there? Because she’s important, vital even, to Carmen’s thoughts and feelings, and therefore his actions. Sydney doesn’t belong with them in their one-on-one interactions, (intimate scenes) and yet there she is. Why this call to attention??? Because Carmy is not where he should be, because Carmy is not with the person he is meant to be with, because his attention is split and his focus is not where it should be. And it is going to be to his detriment - as we see later for everyone involved, but mainly him.

Claire is a distraction for Carmy and not necessarily a welcome one on his part, and yet he is spending more time with her, and Sydney’s scenes cut in-between are reminding us of this.

It’s showing not telling, but some people really do need to be told because they cannot read between the scenes.

Sydney is Carmen’s partner/equal/inspiration/hope/muse/balance (read soulmate).

Meanwhile, the ClairexCarmy scenes had all the obvious - This is a romantic relationship! stuff. And yet it lacked, I want to say: chemistry, heat, warmth, fire, depth of emotion. How is this possible to be lacking such weighted feeling? When you have two very attractive people in such close proximity, developing a romantic relationship that - feels romantic, it should be child’s play right? So, how could the portrayal be lacking such vitality, when ClairexCarmy scenes ticked all the romantic/couple boxes? Because it’s meant to be portrayed as lacklustre. It’s a foil for what the, equally attractive yet somehow hotter, SydxCarmy relationship already has, without realising that’s the space their characters inhabit.

And some commentators/viewers trying to make some moral/workplace ethical ground along the lines of “but he’s her boss”, she’s his junior employee”, “it’s inappropriate”, to all of those persons, I say NO. Maybe Sydney, may have appeared green to some viewers as a newcomer to The Beef and to the not so well-oiled kitchen crew, but Sydney is experienced, well trained, and brings her own heat. So, come season two in establishing The Bear restaurant it is also firmly established to viewers that Sydney is Carmen’s partner (business partner, yeah-yeah), she is his equal, he identifies her as such.

The man offered her to go into, possibly lifeling, debt with him to open up their dream family restaurant - the one thing he wanted to do with his dead hero older brother, the brother that was busy fighting his own demons and pushing Carmen away, making Carmen believe his big brother didn’t value him or see him as an equal and leave and punish himself to become the best chef he could be, which was the best in the world according to Sydney.

And Sydney was already in deep financial debt, but she didn’t even hesitate, it wasn’t until her worried, practical father started asking her the tough questions that she thought on it, (got defensive), then doubled down on her decision, because, Yes, Syd trusts Carmy, she will invest her hopes and dreams in him and with him.

Carmen initially hires Sydney because she’s excellent (too good for The Beef), and over a short period of time he comes to identify Sydney as his equal. Very early on, he makes her his right-hand woman - season one “Brigade episode. He trusts her to lead and to share the load, even if he left her high and dry first thing, but he did apologise). He also, opens up to Sydney about Mikey which he’s avoided talking about with his nearest and dearest.

Then Carmen ups the ante (where Mikey had pushed him away instead of making Carmy an equal), he does what he wished Mikey had offered him - he invites Sydney to be his business partner and to co-create. We learn of the shared vision they have in the season one finale, witnessing how in-step and connected they are when Sydney returns, bringing Carmen the hope of establishing his dream, The Bear.

Let me re-cap it for the sheer joy, because the amount of times I rewatched this scene:

The gang is un-canning Mike’s cash stash, Sydney nervously walks into the restaurant after previously quitting, and she is stopped by the chaotic scene before her, the gang notices and welcomes her back, she questions WTF is going on but stays still as Carmen zeroes in on her, the world quiets, as they lock eyes, she stands there uncertain, clutching her bag, and he continues to stare with a dumb look on his face, looking at her like she hung the moon and the stars (like the episode one meet-cute, but on steroids), and then he speaks and they riff off each other, without any preamble, like they’re reading a practiced speech, about their Family style, two-tops, booths, Danish design, tasting menu at the bar, window on the side, restaurant.

And that is one way to tell me I’m witnessing a marriage proposal without telling me I’m witnessing a marriage proposal.

As for Sydney, what does she get out of agreeing to team up to open The Bear? Other than being saddled with a huge debt with a lost, sad, grieving, lonely, driven, awkward, anxiety ridden, CPTSD, OCD, brilliant little, white, chef man?

Well, to do “the thing” her father questions her about - to realise her dream: to be (co-)owner of a restaurant. And and to do it with a world renowned chef who cooked the best meal she’s ever had, where she can lead and create, and have the opportunity to work towards a Michelin star, and for her to have a found family in that journey, to have other people to rely on and support and work towards a common goal, because she tried alone in the past and it didn’t work out. And this is an opportunity that she won’t pass up, regardless of her father’s concerns.

Also, Jeremy Allen White is a strong actor, and Ayo Edibiri, who is relatively a newcomer, holds her own, and adds to the scene. She brought her A-game - she meets him at his level whilst maintaining her character, she balances him out well in his rawness in bringing her own dynamic, those two actors playing those specific characters belong in the kitchen together, the casting choices are *chef’s kiss”.

Well that’s all, it is A LOT, and I had to get it all out, now that I’ve said my piece bring on season three of The Bear, I needed it yesterday!

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formereldestdaughter · 2 months

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ok wait i need to hear more of your thoughts on peeta owning a bakery....

This is one of those rare times where I’m pretty sure this anon isn’t someone I know personally bc I’ve subjected anyone who will listen to my rant about the Peeta Bakery Headcanon. Anyway, you’re gonna regret asking this anon bc there are fucking Layers here.

I know this is probably a controversial take based on the number of fics where I’ve seen it, but I simply do not think that Peeta would open a commercial bakery after Mockingjay!! Like on a metatextual level, I don’t think it really fits with the point of the ending of the series. It actually sort of fascinates me that it’s just such a common headcanon because the ending of Mockingjay is exceedingly vague. I think that vagueness invites us, as readers, to imagine a better world post-revolution. A world where Katniss would feel confident that her children would be safe from injustice, where she’d feel confident that her children would never know want the way she did as a child. A just world. A kinder world. Can a capitalist society ever be just? Is a capitalist society where a disabled teenager has no other means to subsist himself (or feels like there’s no other way he can be a contributing member of his community) really the post-revolution world we dream of? Is that really the best we can imagine?

(This got so insanely long I’m adding a read more lmao)

I get that showing a better world is not always the point of post-mockingjay headcanons/fics. Like there are plenty of really great post-mockingjay fics I’ve seen where, yeah, part of the fic is that society like ISN’T all that different or all that much better. I’ve seen that really well done! Hell, I’ve written them myself! It’s easy to imagine how a lot of aspects of society would not get an overhaul, a lot of the same structural inequalities would continue to exist. One headcanon that really stuck with me (I can’t remember which fic it was from) was that Peeta sells basically mail order baked goods to people on the Capitol, sending them iced cakes and pastries by train, because there are still people who were “fans” of theirs during the Games. And idk this doesn’t actually have much to do with my point lol but I liked it because it’s kind of fucked up and like! Yeah! It makes sense! If he needed money that would be a good way to make it! War often makes people rich, often for horrible reasons, and often it’s people who already have capital in the first place.

Anyway, more about the hypothetical bakery because alright. I bring up the fact that “yeah society not being all that different post-revolution and still being an unjust capitalist hellscape” could be a reason why Peeta re-opens a bakery because that’s actually never the types of fics where I see the bakery headcanon. Fics where Peeta opens a bakery are usually trying to make the exact opposite point. Like. Things are getting better, now he can open a bakery! Look at how much better the world is now, plus he’s got a bakery! Peeta is healing, that’s why he can open a bakery now! And I am so, so sorry to inform everyone who’s never had the grave misfortune of owning a family business, but there is truly nothing further from the truth lmao. Like just putting aside the immense amount of emotional baggage that Peeta has about his family, running a small business is an insane amount of work in any context and being a baker especially is physically grueling and involves early hours (and long hours) that aren’t really the best fit with the multiple ways that Peeta is disabled now. (I could go into this more because I have a lot of thoughts. But I will spare you.). I also think it’s seen throughout the books that Peeta is someone who needs time to pursue creative outlets to process his feelings and someone who values leisure and values quality time with his loved ones. And having grown up in his family’s bakery, I think he’d understand the reality that running a bakery wouldn’t leave much space of those pursuits and wouldn’t leave much space for him to have the things that keep him healthy and stable. I think he’d know that the way he is now— after two Games and the war and unspeakable torture at the hands of a dictator—isn’t compatible with the lifestyle necessary for running a commercial bakery.

And tbh with that in mind, I don’t think he’d push himself to re-open a business (one that would be a constant reminder of his dead family and his complicated relationships with them that got no closure) that would require him to sacrifice his physical and emotional well-being. Like I think he might look into the possibility, I think he might even start trying to open a bakery out of a sense of obligation/duty, maybe harboring some idea that this is who he was supposed to be, who he would've been without the Games, or that it’s this last piece of his family that can live on, or that it’s this last connection to his family so he can’t let it die too. But ultimately, I think any attempt to open a bakery wouldn’t get very far. Maybe he'd start wading into the logistical nightmare that is small business ownership and realize it's not for him (because it's probably also true that as much as him and his brothers were involved in the business, there's almost certainly parts they weren't involved with and didn't see, i.e., filing taxes). Or maybe looking into opening a bakery— how triggering it is, the stress of it— causes a downward spiral. Maybe he hates how much he's worrying everyone by unraveling. Maybe having a breakdown from the stress of just trying to open a bakery makes him realize, yeah, maybe in another life he would have ran his family’s bakery but the way he is now just doesn’t work with running a bakery, not without great sacrifices he's not willing to make. I just can’t see a bakery coming to fruition.

I know a lot of fics include Peeta deciding to reopen a bakery as a big step in his healing or include him rebuilding a bakery as part of his healing process but honestly, I think the opposite would be more true: I think Peeta either trying/failing to open a bakery or ultimately deciding not to open a bakery would be hugely healing for him. I think it would be a huge part of him accepting the way he is now as a person, his new limitations but also his strengths. I think it would be a huge part of him accepting the way his life his now and accepting that he likes his life the way it is, that he’s satisfied with his life without needing to own a bakery. I think it would be an important part of him coming to terms with the loss of his family. I think he knows he can never have things back as they were and I don’t think he would try to recreate them, especially because his family’s legacy isn’t a business. I think he’s emotionally intelligent enough and self reflective enough to realize that what mattered to him about the bakery— taking care of others by feeding them, being integrated into his community and being actively involved in it, brightening people’s days with delightful things whether that’s beautiful cakes or hearty food or delicious treats— and the things he learned from his family through the bakery, are things that he can carry on in other meaningful ways.

(Do you regret sending this ask yet, anon? Because if not, you will soon. I’m not done yet. There’s more.)

I wasn’t really sure where to put this next part in what is rapidly becoming an essay because it sort of combines the points about like “what do we imagine a post-mockingjay society to look like” with the practical difficulties of starting this bakery but here’s another thing: do people really think that the Mellarks owned the land the bakery was on?? Like, sure, the merchants are the petit bourgeois of Twelve but I still don’t imagine they really own anything. In a society where houses are assigned to people upon marriage, where property ownership and capital are so closely interconnected with citizenship (as shown by the Plinths who, by having immense capital, are able to leave their District and become citizens of the Capitol) do people really think the Mellarks would be allowed to own the land their bakery is on?? I always imagined it sort of like a tenant farming situation: the Capitol gives them the raw materials for the bakery and in return the bakery give them some absurdly high portion of their profits, or the Capitol sells them a year’s supply of raw materials at a premium on credit and at the end of the year the Mellarks have to use the money they made with those materials to pay it back, except it’s never enough to turn a profit so they always have to buy next year’s materials on credit and the cycle continues.

We (understandably) get a really skewed view of the merchant class through Katniss’s perspective so I can see why people come to the conclusion that his family owned the property and, as the last surviving member, he would’ve inherited it. I’ve seen the inheritance thing in fics a lot or a hand wavey “well Twelve was decimated to no one owns anything anymore so it can be his” or even like an almost sort of reparations type situation where he’s entitled to the land as a surviving refugee of Twelve. But I don’t know. I guess I don’t think it fits with everything else we know about Panem that the Mellarks would’ve owned that land and I think the question of whether the government would’ve let him take ownership of the land post-revolution brings up a lot of issues about the structure of society post-Mockingjay that I find more interesting to explore in other ways, especially when, from an emotional perspective, 1) I find the idea of Peeta not opening a bakery more compelling and 2) I don’t think it really fits his character arc by the end of Mockingjay to reopen a bakery, as I went on about at length above lol.

On the flip side: literally who cares!! Do whatever you want!! Headcanon whatever you want!! I get why people go for the bakery!! It’s fun, it’s wholesome, it’s a built in bakery AU that isn’t even an AU. It doesn’t matter if it’s practical or realistic!! It doesn’t need to be practical or realistic!! It’s fanfic of a dystopian YA series!! My unfortunate affliction is that I grew up in a family that owned a restaurant and that I have multiple degrees in the social sciences so I can’t see the bakery without being like “What about the overheard? What about the start up costs? Who’s spending long nights balancing the books? Is Peeta covering shifts when an employee calls in sick? Is Peeta the sole person working there until the bakery is open long enough (often a year or more) to start turning a profit? How does that sleep schedule work with his nightmares? How does that work with Katniss’s nightmares? What happens when he has an episode and suddenly needs to take the day off before he has any employees? Does the bakery just remain closed for the day? Can the profit margins withstand regular unexpected closures? Can the supplies withstand regular unexpected closures?” And if the answer is “Elliott none of those things matter he’s not doing the bakery because he needs the money but because he wants to”, then my question is why does he want to? Does he not get the same sort of satisfaction out of feeding his loved ones? Doesn’t Peeta seem like someone who would rather give away baked goods than sell them?? Doesn’t Peeta seem like someone who would prefer to make cakes for people’s special occasions upon and then when they insist on paying him for it, he only lets them “pay for the ingredients” which actually cost significantly more than he says they did??

So yeah my point is that it’s a matter of personal taste! It doesn’t fit the way I see the series but that doesn’t mean it’s like wrong, I’m not an authority on Peeta lmao.

It’s also a matter of personal taste in the sense that I find the themes that most resonate with me at the end of Mockingjay (and the end of Peeta’s arc specifically) more interesting to explore in other ways. Grief, living with loss, relearning yourself, finding hope, figuring out your place in a dramatically different world when you don’t even know who you are anymore, healing, building a new life after such complete and total destruction of your old life— those are all things I find compelling about the end of Mockingjay but for me the bakery isn’t the most compelling way to explore them.

Not to say I find the concept of the bakery totally uninteresting. I have this fic about Johanna that I’ll probably never finish where the point sort of is that, yeah, her life really isn’t all that much better after the war. It’s been years at this point and she’s still miserable and she doesn’t know how to be a person but by the end she’s trying to figure it out. And towards the end, Peeta tells her that he’s spent years sort of passively, half-heartedly trying to figure out how to inherit the land his family’s bakery was on, only to find out it was never theirs in the first place. They’d been renting it the whole time and he’d never even known as a kid. So he sort of passively, half-heartedly went on another wild goose chase to find the owner and now, finally, after years of writing to various government agencies and being sent in circles and things being barely functional, he’s managed to track down the owner. Now it’s owned by the daughter of the man who owned it when he was a kid because the original owner (who was likely up to some sketchy war crime shit) died during the war and she inherited it (the irony…). He got in contact with her and asked how much it would take for her to sell it and she told him she’s not interested in selling but in light of the situation, in light of the fact that he’d have to build a new building in order to operate a bakery, that she’d cut him a deal— she’d only require 50% of the bakery’s profits as rent instead of the 80% his family used to pay. And of course Johanna is outraged, that’s not right, the owner shouldn’t be allowed to do that, they should do something about it, they should fight back. And Peeta is like. Not interested. He was actually sort of relieved that opening wasn’t very feasible. Getting the answer was a lightbulb moment where he saw that over the years of trying to look into this, he’s built a life that he likes— one where he’s stable, where his loved ones are stable, where he’s cared for and can care for others— and he doesn’t really want to change it drastically by opening a bakery anyway. He just needed an answer, one way or another, before he could get some closure and move on. (And the point of the conversation is Johanna is having her own lightbulb moment that it’s okay to move on, it’s okay to change, it’s not a betrayal of the people and things she’s lost but that’s not my point here!!).

But anyway. That’s obviously not about running the bakery— it’s about the choice to not run one.

Anyway!! Anyway… are you satisfied anon? Is this what you wanted?

Lastly, here is my most important qualm with the bakery headcanon: must Peeta be gainfully employed? Is it not enough for him to be Katniss’s boytoy? Can’t he just paint and garden and bake and hang out with his girlfriend all day? Is that really too much to ask?

#peeta mellark #thg #the hunger games #the hunger games meta #anyway wow this got so long and I literally read it through one (1) time so uhhh sorry if this makes no sense!!#as I was doing my one read through and realized that one of my other thoughts on this is that yeah I can much more easily see the #headcanon that peeta like sells baked goods (probably at cost with no profit) out of his kitchen because that’s much more flexible #and I think that would work a lot better with what like I guess I’d call his psychiatric disability post mockingjay #and how he’d certainly want to take care of Katniss too #like that sort of flexibility makes a lot more sense for him and it’s like. if he doesn’t bake for a few days or however long then it’s fin #it’s not a formal brick and mortar business #it’s just something he’s doing because it’s a way to be involved with people and a way to do something he’s passionate about #without there being waste and while covering some of the costs #and he doesn’t have to like keep books or do payroll or any of the things I can’t see him being very passionate about #as far as like bakery management goes Lmao he can just bake!!#but then I started getting into this whole thing about how that quote-unquote ‘running a business’ like that (informally from your house)#is actually a really common practice for people living in poverty so probably something that Katniss and peeta would’ve been familiar wirh #anyway and then this whole rant about how the emphasis on the brick and mortar bakery often goes hand in hand with #this widespread fandom thing of having a fundamental misunderstanding of how rural poverty works and what it looks like #but then I was too deep into it and said you know what? never mind! and deleted it lmao

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milesdickpic · 9 months

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His Little Girl | Bradley Bradshaw x Reader P.77

Click here to see the master list

Hello, my lovelies! The long wait is finally (kinda?) over! I am finally posting the next part of the HLG series. I just want to thank everyone who is still here with me and reading my fics. You are all truly the best. Thank you to everyone who has stuck around and to the newbies, WELCOME TO THE FAM! I love you all so much. ❤️ Thank you for this extraordinary journey. Happy reading and enjoy besties! 💕

A/n: The moment we have been waiting for has arrived! It's Bradley's first day back home, but that's not the only reason this day is special! There are so many things that will unload in this chapter! Get ready for another emotional rollercoaster... 🫣🫢

Word Count: 4.7k

Warnings: crying, cursing, description of injuries and pain, sadness, anxiousness, signs of PTSD, some adult jokes, but also so much love 🥰

Please don't take my work, I will find you.

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Over the next couple of days, Bradley was progressing with his mobility and his ability to do things on his own. He still needed plenty of help, but he was doing so well. You walked into his room quietly as he stood at his bed packing things into his duffle bag. His arm was still in a sling to support his healing clavicle and shoulder. You knocked on the for frame and he turned around quickly. “Hey, baby. I didn’t know you were already here.” He chuckled and turned around. “Come and give me a hug, sweetheart.”

You smiled and went into his embrace. You kissed his scruffy cheek. “You know, I’m liking the facial hair, Brad. You look good.” You raised your brows.

He shook his head, “You mean this patchy ass beard. Baby, it took me 7 years to perfect this mustache. I think it’ll take me another 7 for this beard.” He chuckled and kissed your head.

You ran your hand over his facial hair that was coming in. “I think you should let it grow. It’ll look really good on you.”

He sighed, “I guess I can try, but everyone is going to make fun of how it looks. You know how hard it is for me to grow facial hair.” He laughed and continued to put things into his bag.

“Here, let me help you.” You started to fold his clothes neatly and place them into his bag. He stood there and watched you.

“Thank you, baby.” He kissed your temple. He sat on the chair next to the bed and started to put his shoes on. “Is everything ready to go? Can I finally get processed out of here? Can I finally go home to my own privacy and bed?” He chuckled.

You zipped up his bag, “It is, baby. You are all set to come home.” You smiled and turned to him. “Do you know what today is?”

He shook his head and chuckled, “I have no idea what day of the week it is, nor the date honey.”

You walked over to him and rubbed his cheek. You lifted his chin so you could kiss him. “Happy Birthday, baby.” You smiled and pecked his lips again.

He looked at you with wide eyes, “Holy shit, are you serious. I’ve been here for that long? It’s already my birthday, sweetheart?” He started to laugh. “Holy shit.”

You pecked his lips a couple of more times. “Bradley Bradshaw you are one crazy man. I’m glad you get to come home for your birthday.”

He smiled up at you and grabbed your hip, “Thank you, baby.”

You rested your forehead against his, “Show me the way home, honey.”

You pulled into the driveway of your house. Bradley looked up at the house and sighed happily. “God, I’m so happy to be home.” He was smiling so big. You looked over at him and rubbed his knee.

“Let’s get you inside, Bradley. Get you situated and comfy.” You leaned over and kissed his cheek.

He nodded, “I can’t wait to freaking eat. I’m raiding the pantry when we get in that house, baby.” He started to laugh.

Hangman came out and greeted the both of you. He helped Bradley down from the car and grabbed his duffle from the flat. He hugged Bradley tight, “Welcome home, big boy. You’re looking finer than ever.” He kissed his cheek hard and chuckled.

Bradley leaned his body weight against Hangman so he could help him to the door. “Dude, it feels so good to be home. I hope you cook your famous ribs because I am fucking starving, man.” Bradley laughed.

“Oh man. You are going to eat good today. I promise, Bradshaw.” Hangman rubbed his back as he helped him onto the porch to the front door.

You opened the front door and Hangman helped Bradley through the threshold into the house.

“Surprise!” Everyone yelled to surprise Bradley. He looked up with wide eyes and an even wider smile.

“Holy shit!” He looked around and greeted everyone that was over to see him.

A couple of Bradley’s pilots from work were there to celebrate Bradley’s birthday and to welcome him home. Phantom and the other admirals and their families were there, Mav, Austin, Phoenix, and Leia. Bradley was over joyed to see everyone. Everyone took turns welcoming Bradley home and wishing him happy birthday. After Bradley said his hello’s and thank you’s to everyone he came over to you and kissed your cheek.

“Did you plan this, sweetheart?” He furrowed his brows at you and looked at you in disbelief.

You looked around and smiled. “I had some help. It wasn’t just me.” You got up onto your tip toes and kissed his scruffy jawline. “Welcome home, baby.”

Mav went and settled all of Bradley’s things in yours and his room. Hangman and Austin helped Bradley up the stairs to the room. You followed behind making sure they were okay.

“Aww man, it smells so good in here. I am so freaking hungry. I’m going to eat everything in sight.” Bradley started to laugh as Austin held him to lower him onto the bed. Bradley sat back as you started to undo his arm sling. He hissed at the pain when his arm weight started to settle down.

Maverick brought up his medication and some water. Bradley took it as you continued to undress him.

“All right, well let us know when you are done getting him ready. I’m going to head back down before I start to blush.” Hangman chuckled and grabbed Austin’s shoulder as they exited the room.

Bradley put his hand on yours, “Sweetheart, I can do it. I have to try.”

“Brad..” He waved you off.

“Please. I need to try. If I need you I’ll let you know.” He gave you a smile and you nodded.

Bradley’s POV

I got up and went into the bathroom. I didn’t want you to see all my wounds. I was nervous and scared for you to see it. I hadn’t even fully seen them yet. Mav assisted me as you waited out on the bed.

I started to remove my pants and Mav placed his hand on my hips. “You got it, kid?”

I nodded. “Yeah, I got it,” I grunted as I dragged my pants off my legs. “Shit. Can you pull them off my ankles now?” I rested my hand against the sink’s countertop to gain my balance as Mav started to remove the pant legs from around my ankles.

I took a deep breath as I started to remove my shirt. “Damn. I should just cut myself out this damn thing.” I chuckled as I carefully removed the shirt from my wounded arm. “Ah FUCK!” I looked up at the ceiling and then closed my eyes tightly.

Mav rubbed my back, “Hey it’s okay. Take your time, Brad. No need to rush. It’s gonna take some time. You’re doing great.” He took the shirt from my grasp and put it into the dirty clothes hamper.

I hadn’t seen myself since before the accident. My breath was shaken. I was scared to look. As Mav was in the closet getting me some clothes, I walked over to the full body mirror on the sliding closet doors. I was looking down at my feet. I could feel my heart rate picking up. I looked up slowly in the mirror to see myself. I started to shake.

“Holy Shit,” I whispered as I examined the damage. I had a huge slice that was healing across my right thigh. I could see where the staples had been, each little dot of whiter skin in a perfectly lined row. I had minor cuts that were healed but the skin was whiter than rest of my leg and still raised as it continued to heal. I had bruises all over my groin from when the chute hoisted me up before I plummeted to the water. My hips had been bruised up and were healing. My skin looked yellow on them. I looked up my torso. The by far worst part of me. I started to lose my definition. My dad bod was definitely coming in from being bed ridden the last month. My torso was still black and blue from impact. It was so tender to the touch. I traced over the sutures I had near my broken clavicle. It was still sensitive and swollen to the touch. I examined my shoulder. Staples still heavily in it, I could probably set off a metal detector when I walked through it. It was still swollen, covered in dried blood, and bruised. What the fuck. Who the fuck was this. My neck bruises and abrasions were healing and not as noticeable. My face swelling had gone down, but I didn’t look like me.

I started to feel anxious. I felt sweat break out on my neck. I placed my hand over my eyes and squeezed them as all I could hear was Phoenix yelling for me. I let out a shaky sigh. “Holy fuck.” I whined out. I felt a hand on my back and the door open.

“Hey, It’s okay, Bradley. Let’s sit you down kid.” Mav helped me over to the bathtub to sit. He held my face in his hands. “Hey breathe with me now, all right?” I nodded in his embrace. We were breathing together.

“Is he okay?” Your voice full of concern.

“I’m okay, baby.” I shot you a thumbs up. “I’m okay.”

“I got him y/n. Why don’t you go down stairs and get the guys. He’ll be ready soon.” Mav shot you a smile as he continued to rub my cheeks in his hands. You nodded and left the room.

“Bradley, Hey. You okay?”

I closed my eyes tight and nodded, “I’m pretty banged up, Mav. I didn’t think I was this bad.”

He patted my cheek, “Hey, stop that. You look great. You are doing so well.” I gulped and looked up at him. He nodded. “You’re doing so good, kiddo. Don’t be so hard on yourself.”

I nodded. “All I can hear is her yelling at me, Mav.” My lip started to quiver. “How do I make it go away?”

Mav furrowed his brows, “Hear who yelling, Bradley?”

“Phoenix.” I looked around the bathroom. “She was the last person I heard over the radio before I went down. The hurt in her voice.” I took a deep breath, “And Riot, he was in a panic. He ran outta flares.” I looked up at him. “How did you get through it… when it was you and I?”

Mav stood up and started to clean up my staples and stitches. “I just keep thinking about how you’re still here. I think about you being okay. It is hard. I have a lot of dreams about that day. I think of all the different possible outcomes that could have happened if something else didn’t go the way it did. So I know. It’s hard. But the best way to help yourself, well is to talk about it. Remember they are still here. They’re downstairs right now waiting for you.” He started to help me put on my shirt. “They’re here and you’re here. Lean on everyone, Rooster. I promise it’ll get easier. I’ll be here with you every step of the way.” He stood me up to help put some sweatpants on me.

I gulped, “How’d you do it with dad?”

He stopped for a minute and sighed. “It was hard. One of the hardest things in my life. I loved your dad more than anything. He was my best friend, you all were all I had left. I had to forgive myself. It took years for me to fully forgive myself for what happened with your dad. But with a lot of help, I was able to cope.” He sat me back down and started to put new socks on me. “It won’t be easy, Rooster. But it does get better.” He patted my cheek and helped me stand up.

There was a knock on the door. “You decent in there?” Hangman called through the door.

“Yea, he’s ready!” Mav helped put my sling back on my arm.

“Thank you, Mav.” I nodded at him.

He smiled at me and strapped my sling. “Hey. I’ll always be here for you, Bradley. No matter what.”

Hangman and Austin helped me back down the stairs. Everyone was excited when I came back down. Leia came over with her teddy bear.

“Daddy look! Still has your wings!” She smiled up at me while holding the bear up to me.

I took the bear and gave it a hug. “My girl, thank you for always keeping them safe.” I leaned down and kissed her head. I gave her back her bear and she gave it a hug.

“Daddy, I made you a plate of food!” She grabbed my hand and pulled me eagerly over to the table.

“Hey, baby, not so hard with your daddy, please!” You called over to the both of us.

I laughed and shot you a wink, “I’m okay, sweetheart. She’s just excited. It’s okay.”

Leia pulled out my chair for me and gestured for me to sit. “Here, daddy!” She was so happy.

I chuckled and kissed her head, “Baby, you shouldn’t have to pull my chair out for me, but thank you so much, sweetheart.” I sat down and she tried to push my chair in. I chuckled and I helped scoot in while she pushed.

She got on her tip toes and pulled my shoulder down to kiss my cheek. “I’ll go get your plate, daddy! Sit tight!” She skipped to the kitchen. I had small talk with a couple of the other pilots that were at the house. “Daddy!” Everyone got quiet and brought their attention to Leia.

“Yes, sweetheart?”

“Daddy, what do you want to drink?” She looked over and through everyone to make eye contact with me. She was smiling so big. She was the cutest little babe ever.

I chucked, “I’ll just have some water, sweetheart. Thank you.”

“Yes, sir!” She came over and gave me my plate of food and a cup of water. She kissed my cheek, “There is another plate! I’ll be back!’

“Another plate!?” I was shocked and looked down at the plate already full of food. She placed the second plate of food down and she nestled herself into my arm.

“Eat up, daddy! We have to get you big and strong again!” She kissed my arm a couple of times. “Do you need help with eating, daddy?” She peered up at me through her lashes.

I kissed the top of her head and smiled. “I’m okay, baby. You’ve already done enough for me. Thank you so much, my Leia Rey.”

I leaned down to lay my head on her head when she pulled me down a little further. She pushed her forehead to the side of my head, “If you need anything else, make sure to let me know, Daddy.” She kissed my cheek and disappeared into the crowd of friends.

Phoenix reached over and grabbed my hand. “I’m glad to have you back home, Bradshaw.” She gave me a smile as we all started to eat.

After we all ate, I went into the backyard to get some fresh air and enjoy the sunset. I felt someone rub my back. I turned around and saw Riot.

“Sir.” He gave me a weak smile.

I patted his shoulder and pulled him under my wing. “Beautiful, isn’t it, Riot?” I was looking out to the sunset.

“Yes, sir. It’s a beautiful view.” He cleared his throat. “Sir.”

I chuckled. “No need for formalities, we are outside of work, Riot. You can always just call me Rooster.” I patted his shoulder.

He nodded, “Rooster, I hadn’t had the chance to thank you.” He looked at me with sadden eyes.

“Thank me?”

He stood in front of me with his head down. “I haven’t thanked you properly for saving my life.” He took a deep breath, “You could have let me meet my own faith. I was out of flares… but instead you bit the bullet for me and risked yourself.”

“Riot.” He looked up at me, “You don’t need to thank me. I wasn’t going to leave you out there like that. It wasn’t your fate. I promised myself and you all that I would get you all home safely. At any cost.”

He started to break down, “Sir. I thought I lost you. My heart felt like it was going to explode, knowing that you had your pregnant wife and daughter waiting for you at home.”

“And you have your family waiting for you at home. Your parents and your boy.”

He wiped his tears, “Sir, I owe you my life. You saved me when you didn’t have to. And well now you’re here.”

I chuckled. “Here?” I looked up and looked around me, “Riot, I’m alive and here with you, everyone, my family.” I patted his shoulder. “Don’t beat yourself up please.”

“But, Rooster.”

I shook my head, “Riot. I’m serious. I’m here. You’re here.”

He nodded. “Thank you for saving my life, Rooster.”

I smiled and pulled him in to hug him, “I’d save your ass any day, kid.” I started to laugh as did he. “Let’s get back in. I think I’m ready for some cake.” I patted his back as we walked back into the house.

Leia came running to me and grabbed my hand again. “Daddy! It’s time for your cake!” She started to pull me over to the table. “Okay! Okay! I am ready for it, little Leia!”

I sat down in the chair. “Daddy, is it okay if i sit in your lap? Or will it hurt too much?” She gave me the famous puppy dog eyes.

I welcomed her into my lap, “Of course you can, sweetheart. I’d be sad if you didn’t.” Leia hopped into my lap and got comfortable. “Daddy, you’re really going to like your cake. I picked it out for you.” She whispered into my ear.

I placed my hand on her belly and kissed her temple. “Did you, baby? Oh I am definitely going to love it then.”

Mav brought over my cake it was chocolate cake with chocolate shavings all over the sides and chocolate drizzle on top. “Oh my god.” I was mesmerized. It looked so fucking good.

Leia whispered into my ear, “The inside is chocolate too, daddy.” She winked at me.

“Holy shit, Leia Rey. You know me so well, sweetheart.” I kissed her head over and over again. You came over and placed the candles on my cake.

“Damn, Rooster. One year away from 30.” Hangman laughed at me and held his beer to me. I shook my head at him.

“Thats one year less than you are.” I chuckled.

He narrowed his eyes at me, “Watch it, Bradshaw.” He started to laugh as he took a sip of his beer.

You placed a kiss on my cheek and lit the candles. “I added one for good luck, baby.” You winked at me. “Okay on three! One, two, three!” Everyone started to sing happy birthday to me. I swayed with Leia in my lap and sung it with her.

After the song was finished she turned to me and kissed my cheek, “Make a wish, daddy.”

I smiled at her, “How about you make one with me, baby. I have all that I need here.” Her eyes lit up.

“Okay…” She thought about it. “I wish for you to always be safe, daddy.” She was holding back her tears. I saw her eyes gloss over. “I love you, daddy.”

I kissed her cheek. “I love you, sweetheart.”

“Ready to blow?”

“Let’s do it, babe.” We blew the candles out together.

Everyone was cooing over Leia’s wish. I caught a glimpse of you wiping the tears from your eyes. You started to cut the cake and gave me the first piece, “Happy birthday, honey. I love you, always, Bradley.”

“Thank you baby. I love you, forever.”

Leia and I shared my piece of cake. She fed it to me. It was so good. “Leia Rey, you picked such a good cake. Thank you.”

“Aunt Phoenix and I picked it out for you.” She smiled at me.

Phoenix came to grab her piece for her and Austin, “You’re welcome, Bradshaw.” She gave me a hug.

I kissed her cheek, “Well thank you Auntie Phoenix and my little Vapor girl. It’s delicious.”

The party continued for the rest of the night. Everyone started to help clean up around 2000. After cleaning up, they all started to leave one by one. Austin and Hangman helped me up the stairs to our bedroom.

“You showering tonight, Bradshaw?” Hangman helped me sit on the bed.

“Yea. I’m gonna shower. Or probably bathe.” I sighed as I started to remove my clothes.

Hangman chuckled, “Do you need any help? Just don’t blush.”

I nodded unenthusiastically, “Yea, could you guys lend me a hand.” They started to help me take my clothes off until I was in my briefs. Austin removed my sling.

“Do you need help getting into the tub, Bradley?” Austin undid my sling and placed it onto the bed.

I gulped and looked at the bathtub in the bathroom. “I’m embarrassed for you guys to see me fucking naked. But, I do need help getting in. Please.”

Hangman shook his head, “I’ve seen you naked plenty of times. You think I care?”

I squinted my eyes at him, “You’re making me nervous now.”

Austin went to go and turn the water on. “We are all guys. No need to be ashamed. I don’t mind helping you out, Brad. I do this for a living.”

Hangman looked at Austin with wide eyes. “You what? You helped grown men get naked and put ‘em in tubs?”

Austin chuckled at Hangman’s analogy. “I’m a caretaker. Back in San Diego, I have patients that I provide at-home care for. I’m used to this.” He tested the water temperature. “It’s ready to go, Bradley. When you’re ready.”

Hangman helped me up and walked me over to the tub. I struggled to pull my briefs down. “Hey. I got you, Roo.” Hangman helped me out of my briefs and they helped me into the tub. I sat down and laid back in the warm water.

“Holy shit this feels fucking amazing. I haven’t had a proper shower in forever. Just sponge baths.” I laid my head back and relaxed.

You walked in and giggled. “You all having an after party?” We all turned around quickly to you.

“I- uh. We were…” Hangman was pointing at me and tripping over his words.

“We were helpin him into the tub, darlin. He wanted to take a proper bath now that he’s home.” Austin chuckled and wrapped his arm over your shoulders.

You nodded, “Thank you guys.” You looked at Hangman deviously, “You’re blushing, Jake.”

You started to laugh as he rolled his eyes. “How about you guys go help finish cleaning up. I’ll take it from here.” You smiled at the both of them.

“Hey, no it’s okay, y/n. We can help him out.” Hangman waved you off.

You hugged both of them and started to push them out the door, “I got it from here boys, thank you. Seriously.”

They left and you came back to me in the tub. “Baby, I can do it. I promise.”

You knelt down by the tub and placed your hand on my cheek. “I know you can, but just let me help, okay?” You kissed my forehead. “Just sit back and relax, Bradley. I’ll get you cleaned up.”

I sighed and leaned back. “I just need help washing my back, baby. That’s it.”

You giggled, “Just take my help, babe.”

“But you’re already doing so much. And you are SO pregnant.”

You shook your head, “Don’t under estimate me, Bradshaw.” You narrowed your eyes at me.

Mine went wide. “Baby, I would never.”

You grabbed a cup and started to fill it with water to pour onto my hair. It felt so good. You started to massage my scalp with the shampoo and I nearly melted under your touch. I let out a little groan.

“You doing okay, baby? Am I hurting you?” You brought your lips to my ear since you were sitting behind me.

I shook my head, “No, sweetheart. It just feels really nice.” You continued to wash my hair and then you rinsed. You added the conditioner and continued to massage my head. When you started to wash my body you were so gentle. I just wanted to fall asleep in the tub. I didn’t want to get out.

“You ready to get out, babe?” You smiled at me as you poured water onto me to keep me warm.

“No, but I know I should get out.” I started to sit up. “Thank you for helping me, sweetheart.”

You kissed my cheek and patted my face dry, “I’d do anything for you, Bradley.”

You went and got the guys so they could help me out. After I dried off you help me put my clothes on. You re-bandaged my shoulder and clavicle and helped me into bed. You set up a couple of pillows to help keep me elevated. Mav came in with my medication for the night. While I took my medicine, you went to go and get ready for bed.

“Leia is already down for bed. I put her down before bringing up his meds.” Mav smiled at you.

You kissed his cheek and got into bed. “Thank you so much, Mav. Thank you for helping out today.”

He winked at you and patted my leg, “I’ll see you all in the morning.”

I laid back and looked over at you. “Ready for bed?”

You smiled and got comfortable, “I am. I’m going to sleep so much better knowing you’re here next to me.” You inched closer to me.

“Come here. Baby.” I held my arm up and you nestled your self into my side.

“I love you, Bradley. Good night,”

“I love you, sweetheart. Good night.”

Your POV

You heard little mumbles coming from Bradley. You got up and looked at the clock. 1:30 AM. You thought that maybe he was in pain and was just trying to handle it. You sat up and placed your hand on his arm.

“Baby. Do you need more medicine?”

He started to fidget under your hand. “Riot…. Riot I got you…”

Oh shit. You started to rub his arm. “Baby. Bradley.”

“Fuck….No….I’m sorry…” He started move his head side to side.

“Bradley.” You turned your bed side light on. His eyes were squeezing and his hand balling into a fist. “Bradley. Honey. It’s okay baby.” You were rubbing his chest as he struggled in his sleep.

“PHOENIX!” He shot up hitting you with his shoulder. He was wincing at the pain he was in. He started to cry slightly as he held his clavicle and his chest.

You held your hand over your mouth and scooted closer to him. You laid your head on his shoulder and comforted him. “Hey. Hey, I’m here. You cradled his head in your arms. “It’s okay, Bradley. You’re okay baby. Riot and Phoenix are okay.”

He started to cry in your arms. “I’m so sorry baby. Did I hurt you?”

You shook your head and cupped his cheeks in your hands. You had tears in your eyes. “No, Bradley. You didn’t hurt me. You don’t have to apologize. You’re okay my love. It’s going to be okay.” You scratched at his head and cradled him against you. “You’re okay baby. It was just a dream. They’re all okay.” You placed kisses on his head over and over again. “I’m here, Bradley. I love you. I promise you are okay.”

He held onto you as he started to calm down. He was still shaking slightly in your arms. “I’m so sorry, sweetheart.”

“Shhhh.” You shushed him and comforted him.

“Don’t apologize, baby. You’re okay. You are all safe, Bradley. I promise.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Babes! We are finally back 🥺 Thank you all for being so patient with me! I hope you are all doing well! Are you excited for Bradley to be back home? 🥹 I am! But he definitely has a long road ahead of him. #InDadlyWeTrust 🫶🏼 I'll see you in the next one, besties! 🫶🏼

The party crew is in the comments 🥳

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jflemings · 4 months

Note

Prompt 1 w jflem plzz

— mine

prompt: 1 “you are the best thing that’s ever been mine” from this post

a/n: my fav taylor song w jflem oooooo anon you are my best friend!!! also so funny that i was already working on a ‘mine’ fic for jess but that’s a whole diff thing xx

georgian bay glistens as the sun sets on the horizon, the last of it’s rays painting the sky with blues, oranges and pinks. jessie almost can’t believe her luck.

she’s got her arm around you as an attempt to fight off the chill breeze nipping at your faces, her nose turning pink from the cold. your face is tucked into her neck and both of you are holding one end of a blanket that’s wrapped around your shoulders. the scenery almost makes her forget why she brought you out here in the first place, the sight so breathtaking that it’s somehow distracted her from one of the most important things she’ll do in her lifetime.

almost.

jessie’s grip tightens on her end of the blanket as her heart rate speeds up, the sudden anxiety washing over her like how the waves would smother the rocks at high tide in burleigh heads. she thinks back to her time in australia fondly, but her thoughts always came back to you and how she felt sitting near the water watching the sunset with her arm around you, similarly to how the two of you are sitting in this very moment.

she doesn’t really know why she’s nervous because she knows your answer. the two of you had talked about marriage plenty of times before and every time you assured her that when she decided to ask, the answer would be yes.

you sigh and sit up “we should start heading back, i really don’t want to make your mum wait for us”

jessie shakes her head “i told her we had dinner plans. she’s not expecting us”

a puzzled look crosses your features “we have dinner plans?” you ask “you didn’t tell me that”

“spur of the moment type of thing” she shrugs before looking at you “we’ve got all the time in the world”

“i’d rather not be freezing my ass off in the dark, fleming” you say, dropping the blanket and standing. you brush off your bum and stretch your arms up before stuffing your hands in the pockets of your coat, admiring the view.

jessie takes a deep breath and runs over what she wants to say in her head, biting her lip and keeping her gaze focused on the water as she speaks to you “can you grab my waterbottle?” she asks.

you turn and walk three steps to where your stuff is, moving things around to find what you’re looking for. jessie knows you aren’t going to find it, it’s tucked into her side, but she needs at least forty five seconds to work the nerves out of her hands and get on one knee.

the midfielder shakes her hands out and puts one knee up, keeping the other on the ground, whilst she pulls the ring box out of her puffer pocket.

“jess are you sure it’s here?” you ask loudly “because i can’t find it, maybe you left it in the car” you exclaim, throwing your arms out and putting them on your hips before turning to face her.

your jaw drops almost comically at the sight of your girlfriend in front of you. her rosy cheeks are more flushed than usual, she’s wearing a nervous smile that you’ve never seen before and you can swear that her hands are shaking. sat in her grasp is a small black velvet box, the simple diamond ring occupying it catching the light.

“jess–”

“nope, no, you have to let me speak” she cuts you off, shaking her head

you nod shyly, bringing one of your hands up to cover your mouth “go on then”

jess let’s out a shaky breath “y/n i can’t count on my fingers how many times i’ve said that i’m going to marry you. i’ve said it directly to you, to my family, to my friends, anyone who would listen. everytime i’ve said it, i meant it. from the first time when i said it in that crowded bar in london, to two nights ago when we were in my childhood bedroom.” she says almost breathlessly, smiling when she realises that you’re tearing up.

“i have loved you longer than you’ve known” she says more quietly “i’ve had the privilege of watching you grow into such a kind and caring person. your compassion and ability to see everyone for who they are never fails to amaze me. everyday i wake up thankful that i get to spend my life with you so i’m asking, will you marry me?”

hey honey brown eyes are filled with hope and anticipation, leaving you to almost forget that she’s awaiting an answer from you. you shake your head and pull your hands off your face in borderline disbelief “of course i’ll marry you!”

jessie’s face breaks out into the biggest smile you’ve ever seen, tears welling up in her eyes as she carefully slips the ring on your finger. she grabs your face before she even gets off the ground and pulls you into a passionate kiss. the pads of her thumbs glide softly over your cheekbones before her grip tightens, pulling you impossibly closer.

you both pull apart from eachother so you can breathe but her lips still ghost over yours while she’s got her eyes closed.

“you are the best thing that’s ever been mine” she whispers against your lips before kissing you again, softer but with just as much passion as before.

you can’t wait to spend the rest of your life with her.

#pegs woso #pegs writes #jessie fleming #jessie fleming x reader #jessie fleming blurb #jessie fleming fic #jessie fleming imagine #jflem

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tspud-whiteboard · 1 year

Photo

[Full Previews, Final Files and Extras can be found on GoogleDrive!] !!! THE DEADLINE HAS ARRIVED !!! (End of June it was) I am currently working on putting together the final files, but as this might take a while, YOU CAN STILL KEEP SENDING ME YOUR FELLAS! Once I’ve prepared the actual, finished, fullsize versions, this pinned post will unpin itself and I’ll put a different one here, with the final previews, the download links and some information what the future may hold... maybe I’ll do a Season Two if the interest is there. But we’ll have to see about that. For now, [SUBMIT MORE] like the wind while you still can! Hello, hello! Welcome to The Stanley Parable Ultra Deluxe Whiteboard Collaboration (a just-for-fun fan project)! I’m assuming that you found your way here because you’re well aware what The Stanley Parable is, and that you are curious to know what a Whiteboard Collaboration might be about!

Let me cut straight to the case then. It all started in 2023 - the 27th of April, to be precise - which just so happened to be the One Year Anniversary for the release of The Stanley Parable Ultra Deluxe on Steam and consoles, along with the historically very important and internationally renowned - or at the very least grudgingly accepted - 4/27: STANLEY DAY!

To celebrate the occasion, and only one day too late on the 28th, an idea came forth to put together a Whiteboard, containing all those Stanleys by all the fan artists out there (all credited, of course!), a worthy tribute to the Man of the Hour! And as you can see... we’ve already got quite a few collected!

But why stop there? Since plenty of people also came up with their own Narrator designs, and there’s a good few Timekeeper-Settings-432s and Curators, and plenty of other characters (defining the term loosely here), we might as well give them all their own little space to look absolutely dashing next to each other! Imagine, all those different designs, united in one glorious collection!

My point being... I’d love to see yours in there as well.

So... how can you join in?

The gist can be found up there in the first image, but let me also put it into text form down here, with some extra information:

[Submit] your Stanley, Narrator, 432 or Curator mugshot (or all of them at the same time!). You have [some other canon TSP favorite]? Go ahead, submit ‘em, too! We’ll find a spot. The format of the picture needs to be 300px (width) x 400px (height) to fit with the others. I can resize and cut them into shape if needed, but it’ll be easier on all of us if I don’t have to do that. All pictures will have a small white frame added by me afterwards, to give them that authentic printout flair.

Should the [Submit] button not work for you (I triple-checked and it works for me, but then who knows what this thing does while I’m not looking), sending your artworks through PM or tell me where you posted them is fine as well!

AUs and all art styles are fine! Please only submit one picture per character (if you have more than one design, maybe pick your favorite, or elegantly squeeze them into one picture. If you absolutely cannot decide, sending two pictures per character is okay, but I’d like to cap it there to give everyone equal amounts of space.

Must be Safe For Work!

This is also very important: Tell me how to credit you! Your name will go under your artwork, I do have to put something there. I’ll likely default to your username if I have nothing else to go by, but it’s best if you directly tell me, right there in your submission.

I will publish your submission(s) on here as soon as I’ve added it to the queue, so you’ll know it went through okay, and so you can show it around to others if you wish! (I can’t do that with PMs, of course.)

THE DEADLINE: Please try to submit your artworks before the End of June! Yes, 2023. This month. In this year. There’s a chance I’ll change this if a sudden influx of new entries rolls in, but as of now it looks like it’s a good time to start wrapping this up. I want my life back and all. ...But prove me wrong, why don’tcha? Why not tell your favorite TSP artists that they NEED TO BE ON THIS THING? NEED TO! WE CRAVE THEM, PRECIOUS. ...Sorry, got carried away there.

I give updates regularily. Previews of the latest Whiteboard statuses, questions that need answering, sometimes I might just add some nonsense rambles, all inclusive, for free.

The FINAL files, whenever they’re ready, will be 8000x4000px in size each and are mostly a much bigger version of the previews, with maybe a few small changes for the aesthetics.That’s quite massive. Humongous. It’s really impressive to browse all those artworks next to each other at that size. Here’s the [Google Drive] link, for all to download from and share around. So far, you can always find the latest Previews and a bunch of random Extras there, along with the first fullsize Stanley board as a test. Please do make suggestions if there’s better options, or if you can’t drive the Google.

I also post on Twitter and the Crows Crows Crows Discord server (fanart channel). If either of those are more comfortable options for you, or if you know someone on there who might also be interested in joining this collaboration, maybe poke me so I can give you directions. Or you might be able to find it yourself, I’m not actively hiding them away. Not even passively.

I think that’s all for now! If you have questions, suggestions, reservations, my Asks should be open. Looking forward to hopefully a lot more additions to the Whiteboards, there’s quite a few of you guys I’d loooove to see on there!

#HowTos and FAQs #Status and Previews #The Stanley Parable #TSP #TSPUD

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xsezzie · 6 months

Text

Hydro Dragon, Hydro Dragon, Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas @chibimochii !!! I am your @squealing-santa this year~!

I finally got to write for these two and I really hope you enjoy it. Also my first time participating in this event so it was interesting to try, I hope did okay!

Word Count: 1.1k

Warnings: It's tickling???

AO3 Post

Neuvillette is eager to spend some of the festive season with Wriothesely this year... although Neuvillette has received some questionable and unsightly attire.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“What’s this?”

Wriothesely stared at the rare visitor in front of him. His serious and blank expression heavily contrasted the red and white hat atop his head.

“Are you aware of the tradition of Christmas, Wriothesely?” As Neuvillette asked, he leaned forward against the Duke’s desk, bell on his hat jingling, as if anticipating the answer like a child who can’t wait.

Cute.

“Yes, I’m aware… who put this hat on you?”

“Sedene did, she said I should try and be more festive this year.”

Wriothesely chuckled, “I think you have been plenty festive all the years you’ve decided to celebrate.”

“Well this year is… different.

“How so?”

“Come to the surface.”

And so, this is how Wriothesely found himself spending the week of Christmas in the Palais. Sitting on Neuvillette’s couch, tea in hand, cold rain howling outside.

“Would you like one of these ‘ugly’ Christmas sweaters that Clorinde purchased for everyone?”

They were indeed ugly, but in a cute way.

“I am most certainly not wearing one of those, I know you will try and take a picture.” The Duke glared playfully at Neuvillette.

“Come now, you will get cold.”

“Then light the fireplace!”

“I… do not want to.”

“You’re the *Hydro* Sovereign, the fire isn’t going to do anything to you.” Wriothesely couldn’t help but laugh to himself, “Seriously though, you control this rain don’t you? Why is it so bad tonight? Is something wrong?”

Neuvillette signed, “Yes, something is terribly wrong… You will not wear this ugly sweater.”

“Oh ha-ha, very funny… why don’t you wear the sweater, hmm?

“It… clashes with my robes.”

“That is the point isn’t it? It’s ugly and it needs to look as bad as possible. Come here, I will help you.”

Neuvillette looks at Wriothesely with wide eyes as he calmly approaches, “N-No I can do this myself! I am not a child…”

The smirk on the Duke’s face said he had other ideas though, easily tugging on Neuvillette’s coattail to stop him from moving away and pulling him into his muscular arms.

“Not this again!” The Iudex stifled a laugh.

“Not what again? Whatever could be wrong, dear Sovereign?”

“Y-You are going to do that tickle thing to me again aren’t you!? Everytime you think I am being shy or not compliant with your schemes…”

Wriothesely chuckled and easily dragged him to the couch, gently pinning him down and trying to undo the buttons of his coat, “Well I wouldn’t be doing the ‘tickle thing’ if you would just wear the sweater. Come on, I will buy my own if you put this one on.”

“W-Whehey are you like this!?”

“Honestly, it is rather amusing to watch your ears turn red when you are embarrassed. Just look at them.”

The Duke makes a point by softly pinching the tips of Neuvillette’s pointy ears, making him let out a small uncharacteristic squeak. “Stohohop!”

Wriothesely manages to get the robe off with minimal effort, mainly because he knows Neuvillette is secretly enjoying this. This affection between the two, as well as secret visits has become more common recently, and neither is complaining. These meetings have allowed Wriothesely to get to know the new leader of the nation in a more intimate setting… including the fact that he is ticklish.

“Ah you love it, now put this sweater on before I tickle you more.”

“N-Nohohohoo!!”

“Alright then you leave me no choice…”

Wriothesely prepares one sleeve of the sweater and pulls Neuvillette’s arm up, looping it into the hole and successfully getting it through. Not that the Chief Justice is putting up much of a fight as he appears to be in some sort of giggle fit at this point of the absurdity of the situation, this allows him to easily get the other arm into its sleeve as well… that just leaves his head.

“I swear I am going to get someone to cut your hair sometime… it’s so damn long…”

Neuvillette huffs in amusement, “I quite like my long hair, as do the Melusine’s… and I know you do as well…”

That rare knowing smile, he will pay for this.

Wriothesely then realises he has Neuvillette in a pretty good restraint, his arms in the sweater above his head, “I think you require more tickling for Christmas, O’ Hydro Dragon~”

No response could be given apart from a surprised shout followed by a wheezy laugh as Wriothesely digs his fingertips into Neuvillette’s armpits, causing him to squirm and desperately pull his trapped arms down.

“Nahahahahahaa Wriotheseheheheheheheeellyyy!!!”

“Sorry not sorry, sir.”

His fingers travel down Neuvillette’s delicate ribs, making him kick wildly behind the Duke’s back, kneeing him a couple times.

“Ouch, come on now is such violence necessary? I am only doing the ‘tickle thing’ you know?” The smirk was audible in his voice.

“Hhahahahaha you d-deserve ihihihihihihiiit stahahahahahahaap!!!” Neuvillette’s wheezing laughter only made Wriothesely chuckle and begin to dance his fingers down his sides now, causing the hydro wielder to writhe beneath him even more.

“NOOOHOHO!!!!”

“Are you going to wear the sweater?”

“N-Nohohoho you wear ihihihit!”

“Ah, I guess more tickles for you then!”

And so the Duke returned to tickling Neuvillette’s exposed armpits, driving him nearly insane at this point. He quite liked the look of the Iudex when he was laughing and free of worry. The slight permanent frown he seems to always wear is replaced with a beet red face and tears of laughter beginning to form at the corners of his eyes. He honestly looks as if he might be enjoying this a little.

Wriothesely decides he doesn’t want Neuvillette to pass out and stops his tickling, taking the exhausted man and sitting him upright, legs across his lap. As Neuvillette recovers from the ordeal, he finds the sweater being forced over his head finally and Wriothesely adjusts it and his hair so he is snug.

“Gotcha~”

Neuvillette doesn’t even protest, nor does he want to. He rests his head against the younger man's chest, feeling warm and comfortable as he gently rubs his back to help him come down from the ticklish high.

“Not a word to anyone… especially the Melusines…”

“Don’t worry, this was too precious for me to want to share with anyone but you.”

“Hah. Trying to butter me up now?” Neuvillette chuckles.

“I will save that for tomorrow. For now, let's relax. The rain stopped so I assume whatever was on your mind was successfully tickled away?”

Neuvillette’s ears turning a little red did not go unnoticed, he looked up with wide eyes as if he had been caught. “Ah… I guess so… though did you really have to tickle me?”

“Yes, and I have the urge to do it again now that you’re in this awful sweater.”

“W-Wriothesely don’t!”

Neuvillette’s words were cut off with a wheeze from himself and Wriothesely decided to try his legs and feet now, not that he minded. This was a nice way to spend Christmas Eve.

“Hydro Dragon, Hydro Dragon… Merry Christmas~”

#squealing santa 2k23 #ss2k23 #genshin impact tickling #genshin impact #tickling #neuvillette #wriothesely #wriolette #christmas fic #tickle fic

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rubynationwins · 2 years

Text

Wanna Be Yours

Sugar baby! Bucky Barnes x Plus size! Reader

Summary: You don’t have a problem letting Bucky see other people, but Bucky wants to tell you that you’re all he needs.

Main Masterlist

Warnings: angst, fluff, pining, jealous! bucky, dirty talk/thoughts, swearing, Bucky is in his mid-late 20s

Word Count: 2,816

A/N: I’m very excited to be posting a fic, I feel like it’s been forever since I last posted one! I’ve had this in my wips for quite a while now, but didn’t work on it because I felt guilty for not posting my other fics that are sequels/parts of series first. But those are still far from being done(I’ve kinda also been struggling w/ writing them oof), so I shifted gears and edited this one & feel very pleased w/ how it came out! I love this concept, and I hope you all are into this pairing/dynamic because it’s a little different than my others. Like, comment, reblog, I always appreciate feedback so plz let me know what u think!

This story should not be posted anywhere else without my express permission.

Thanks for reading!

-Ruby

You don’t keep Bucky – or James, as you call him – on a very short leash. You don’t want him to feel tied down when he’s at such a pivotal age for young, virile men like himself. He should be able to explore and enjoy his youth with partners he doesn’t feel obligated to be with. This isn’t your first sugar relationship, so you’re plenty aware that young men don’t want to only be with you; which is something you learned the hard way. It’s better to let them live their lives with predetermined rules instead of getting cheated on by men who don’t have the balls to tell you they need more than you have to offer.

So, with Bucky, you made your expectations clear from the start. He can sleep with whoever he wants as long as he’s safe, uses protection, gets checked regularly, and always puts you first; and in turn, you give him whatever he desires. Lucky for you, he has stuck to your rules and made good on his promise to be by your side when you need him. Honesty, communication, and companionship, that’s all you really need, nothing more. At least, that’s what you tell yourself.

------------------------------------------------

“James-”

Bucky spins around from the mirror he was checking his hair in and sucks in a breath. You are standing in the doorway of the bathroom with a playful smirk on your painted red lips.

“If you keep messing with your hair it’s going to fall out,” you give him a once over, “You look beautiful, darling.” And he does. He is absolutely stunning in his navy suit, a simple dark grey turtleneck underneath with a gold chain loose around his neck. It’s the one you bought him for your 6-month anniversary last month. Technically, you paid for the entire outfit he’s currently donning, but you personally picked out the chain yourself. It matches the slim bracelet that’s dangling around your wrist.

Bucky blushes lightly under your sharp gaze. He doesn’t know why, but a flutter erupts in his belly every time you compliment him. He never gets so worked up when others flatter him, only you.

“Right back at ya’ doll,” he flashes a wolfish smile, “you sure we have to go to this event? How ‘bout instead I get you out of that dress and we head to the bedroom because I don’t know how the hell I’m gonna keep my hands off you in that thing.”

Not too long ago you would have thought he was all talk, but Bucky has proven just how much he adores your body – curves and all. You can’t help but agree with his statement anyway, you look absolutely banging in your elegant Theia gown. The deep fuchsia color complements your complexion perfectly and the way it hugs your curves is like sin. The side slit stops just at mid-thigh and the off-the-shoulder straps mean your neckline is on full display. The way his eyes flash as they take it all in sends heat straight to your core, but unfortunately, you’re on a time crunch.

“As tempting as your offer is, James, I can’t miss this one. It’s a company celebration, and as the newest member of the board, it’s vital that I be there.” You gently grasp his hand and lean into the warmth of his large, muscled body, placing a modest peck on his cheek, “But since you’re going to be with me, I know the night will fly by. Before you know it, we’ll be back here and you can help me with this damn zipper.” You chuckle, winking playfully before walking away to grab your clutch resting on the table a few feet away.

Bucky’s pupils are like black saucers as he stares longingly at your ass as you bend over to slip on your shoes. As much as he wants to ignore your words and shove you up against the nearest wall and fuck you in that delectable dress, he knows that your work life is important to you, so he restrains himself – for now.

“Alright, doll.” He holds his arm out for you to take and you wrap yours around it, feeling the hard metal underneath the fabric of his suit jacket. “As long as you promise to help me out of my pants as well.”

You gasp and hit his shoulder playfully, “James!”

He shoots you a shit-eating grin and walks to the door with you hanging on his arm, your soft body melding into his.

Tonight is going to be great.

------------------------------------------------

Tonight has been crap.

Bucky sulks at the bar, toying with a toothpick and sipping at his glass of brandy. Again, he glances over to where you stand surrounded by a group of coworkers, all of whom are men.

Shit.

He downs the remaining contents of his glass and motions to the bartender for another before going back to glaring at your little posse. He isn’t mad at you though, well, not that much. No, he’s pissed off at the slime-balls crowding you. Don’t they have their own dates to ogle at? Why did they have to steal you away as soon as you both stepped into the ballroom with the pretense of “private business matters”?

Turns out, those “private business matters” are getting you drunk and blustering about your many achievements and how lucky they are to have you on the board. Bucky knows his jealousy is misplaced. He, above everyone here, knows how hard you worked to get this position. You are the youngest person, and the only woman, to ever become a board member. He’s damn proud of you, in fact.

Still, he can tell these sleazy old men don’t give a damn about your work, not with the way they all stare at you like some kind of meal for them to devour. Bucky respects your boundaries and your work life, but how is he supposed to sit back when the tall shit-head with graying blonde hair on your right, who has easy access to getting a peep at your cleavage, keeps touching your arm? Can’t you see what they’re up to? Or are you being deliberately obtuse just to ruffle his feathers?

You wouldn’t do that though. Even if you were flirting with these geezers, which Bucky’s sure you’re not, you wouldn’t do it to get a rise out of him because you wouldn’t think it possible. You’ve never said it outright, but Bucky knows you don’t think he minds when you talk to other men. He does though, he fucking minds a lot.

How can he blame you for it, though? You made it abundantly clear at the start of your relationship that it was fine for him to see other women, even if he wasn’t the least bit interested in anyone else, not from the moment he laid eyes on you. When he tried to argue that you didn’t have anything to worry about – that he didn’t want anyone besides you – you shut him down completely, saying there was no room for argument, that he either accept the terms, or you wouldn’t be able to see him again.

Bucky wanted to strangle every selfish, fucker that made you go to such lengths to feel comfortable in a relationship. Of course, he conceded to your stipulations, there was no way around it, he needed to be with you. But, if you didn’t care if he fucked other people, how could he possibly demand that you only have eyes for him?

Still, though, it was taking all his strength to not rush forward and sweep you away from the group of lechers, and maybe kick a few of them in the nuts for good measure.

A new drink is placed before him and he knocks it back immediately. When he turns back around to continue stalking you from afar, his blood runs cold.

The other members of your group are gone and now it’s just you and blondie talking. The bastard says something and you laugh, reaching up and squeezing his arm, swaying on your feet. He places his hands on your plush hips to, supposedly, stabilize you. All the while, pulling you in much closer than necessary.

Bucky is out of his seat and at your side in a split second. He grabs the offending man’s wrists and yanks them off of you, “Watch where you’re touching, pal.” His threat comes out in a low growl and he pulls you to him, his grip tight around your waist.

“James? What are you doing here?” You hiccup, eyes hazy as they blink up at him. Your surprise at his presence sends a pang through Bucky’s heart. Had you so easily forgotten about him?

Even so, no man touches what’s his.

Bucky takes a step back, bringing you with him, and leans down to your ear, gritting his teeth together in a faux smile, “I’m here because I think it’s time we go. You’ve had too much to drink, doll,” he speaks lowly so only you can hear. He knows his words are a bit too harsh and his tone a little too strained, but he can’t shake the defensive anger coursing through his veins.

The blonde man, who for some reason is still standing there with a strangely satisfied smirk on his lips chooses that very moment to speak up, “So you’re James? Nice to meet you,” he reaches out for a handshake, seemingly unfazed by the murderous glint in Bucky’s eyes. Bucky outright ignores his proffered hand, but the finely clad man brushes off the rebuff and casually slides his hand into his pants pocket, “Y/N talks about you all the time. I can see why, you’re a nice-looking kid.”

He wants to punch the callous grin off of the old asshole’s face, but you snort, “Tod, quit it, stop teasing him.” Bucky’s jaw tightens, you didn’t say he’s not a kid. Bucky hates feeling unworthy of you; like he doesn’t belong at your side. He may be young, but he has just as much right as any to call himself yours.

Tod cracks a smile, “Ha, alright, I’ll see you on Monday, Y/N.” He nods his head at you in goodbye and moves to leave. But when he passes Bucky’s shoulder, he leans in and whispers, “Better get her home quick, son. Don’t you have a curfew to worry about?” He chuckles to himself when he catches Bucky’s seething face, not at all intimidated by the rage flaring in the younger man’s blue eyes. With those final parting words, Tod walks off, lucky to not have a bruise the size of Bucky’s left fist on his smarmy face, in Bucky’s opinion.

Bucky breathes heavily, trying not to run after the guy to show him where he can stick his fucking curfew bullshit. Instead, he switches his focus back to you. You’re leaning into him, your usually calculating eyes spacey and a goofy smile plays on your lips. He frowns, you normally don’t drink so much, “What the hell did you get yourself into, doll?” This time his voice is softer, worried, but less biting.

You glance up at him, your eyebrows furrowed, but once you understand what he’s asking, you let out an uncharacteristic giggle, “To celebrate, we did some shots, I don’t remember how many I had,” your words are slow and nonchalant, as if you are actively trying not to slur them together, “Anyway, why are you upset, darling? I thought I told you to find some guys your own age to chat with. I knew you wouldn’t be interested in all our boring old business talk.” As you talk, Bucky hurries you to the exit, only pausing at the coat check to grab your things. He messages your driver to be out front in five.

“Guys my age?” His tone is bitter but you’re oblivious to his simmering indignation.

“Yeah! It’s a party for mostly higher-ups, but a few of them brought their sons, and some brought their daughters too,” you give him a sly wink at that. Bucky just stands there in front of the decorated driveway, trying to temper the many unsavory responses he wants to make at your last remark. His arm is wrapped around your full waist, clutching you to his side. He stays silent as your car finally pulls up, the driver not bothering to hop out since Bucky already has the back door open before he even rolls to a complete stop. Bucky ushers you into the backseat before sliding in after you.

The partition is already rolled up so he turns to you, unable to bite his tongue any longer, “Daughters?”

You scrunch up your face, confused by his questioning, “Yeah, I’ve met some of them. Mr. & Mrs. Willson’s daughter, Sarah, is a real looker. I think you’d like her, she’s just your type, and then there’s Melina’s daughter, Nata-”

“I don’t understand.” Bucky stares at you, trying to mask the hurt in his chest, “Were you trying to get rid of me? I came here tonight to be with you. Why would I want to spend it with some other girl? Why did you spend it with other men? Y/N, I-I don’t know what you want from me, why would you-” His tone has turned accusatory and befuddled. He wants to come clean, to shout that he doesn’t give a shit about other women, but the words are caught in his throat. He’s too much of a coward to speak them aloud.

You shush him, shaking your head, a placating smile on your red lips, “James, I don’t know why you’re getting so riled up, but stop. I just want to enjoy the rest of the car ride home with you, please, I’m tired.” You kick off your heels and relax your head against his shoulder; placing your soft hand in his. He gazes at your lovely face as you play with his metal fingers. The flashing lights that fill the car as it passes underneath brightly lit billboards and dim streetlamps cast fluttering shadows around your ethereal features. His chest fills with a sentiment he doesn’t know how to describe, one he’s maybe too scared to unpack. Your eyes drift shut and your hands still in his, as your soft snores fill the interior of the car. Bucky places a gentle kiss on the top of your head, soaking up your rich perfume.

When the car arrives back home, Bucky carries your sleeping form inside, hugging your plush body to his chest. He lays you down on the bed and goes to work getting you ready for sleep. He knows you wouldn’t want to go to sleep with makeup on, so he grabs a makeup wipe from with bathroom and removes your still pristine look. Bucky loves the power and confidence makeup gives you, but he adores your fresh face, which he doesn’t often get to see.

You tend to keep him at a distance, only letting him see parts of you, not allowing yourself to be “messy” in his presence. Again, there's that foreign panging in his heart. It feels like there is a wall between the two of you, one that you purposefully set up, Bucky’s afraid he’s never going to break it down. Even tonight, when you were fairly drunk, you held a certain air of professionalism about you, so to speak.

You always have to be in control and Bucky wishes that you would just let him be the one to shoulder the burden for once. It’s like you think he’ll abandon you if you ask him to commit more to your relationship. You just don’t know how much he craves you when you tell him he has the “weekend off”, or that he only has to come to events “if he wants to”. You may think you’re letting him have “freedom” and not feel “tied down”, but in reality, you’re denying him the time and companionship that he so desires from you. Bucky wants you to demand more of him, to expect more from him. He sure wants more of you; however he can get it.

What if all you ever want is just a good time and a good lay with a young, pretty face? A few months ago he might have been satisfied with that, but now he wants more. And he is terrified to ask for it.

He finishes cleaning your face and even has the mind to put moisturizer on you since you live and breathe the stuff. He unzips your gown and pulls it off your body. After taking a moment to appreciate the majesty of your body, he goes and hangs the dress back in the closet before coming back out with one of your pajama sets.

He removes your strapless bra and slides the soft, silk pajama top over your chest. You have shapewear on so he shimmies you out of it, which is a little challenging he’ll admit. He has no clue why you wear the restricting stuff. You say it’s to have a smooth base for your tighter garments to rest on, but he suspects there might be more to it. Either way, it’s your body and he gets to appreciate it with and without the shapewear on, so he’s plenty satisfied.

After he gets your pajama bottoms on, he quickly changes into a pair of boxers, not bothering with a shirt. He shuffles into bed beside you, pulling the covers over you both. He hugs you to his chest, trying to get the feeling of dread to leave his subconscious. You’re here in his arms, and that is enough. It has to be.

#Bucky Barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky barnes x plus size reader #james bucky buchanan barnes #sugar baby!bucky #plus size reader #Bucky angst #bucky fluff #mcu fanifiction #mcu x plus size reader #plus size reader fanfic #bucky barnes x you #jealous bucky barnes #sugar baby!bucky x reader #My writing #mine #rubynationwins

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igbylicious · 1 month

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so um. @wooyoungisbaby Isak made inquiries abt whichever way Woosan & orgasm denial, how often it happens, whether Wooyoung ever gets to deny San, and oh boy my brain started buzzing lol! it was too long to answer in the replies, so this is ummm, technically a hard thoughts post i guess? very self-indulgent, very stream-of-consciousness

sex-related Woosan musings ahead, with an obvious warning for orgasm denial, but also mentions of dacryphilia & overstim (and somehow it’s abt 700~ words?! brain why?!?!?)

so yes, in pt1 Wooyoung was on a sex ban and didn’t get to cum until he and San were back from their trip lol.

in my head, San does this kind of thing on occasion, but not too often; he doesn’t overdo it bc that will genuinely upset Woo at some point lol. (also bc it means San doesn’t get to fuck Wooyoung either, and San doesn’t want to go too long without fucking Woo :C in like, a sickeningly tender way :C that man yearns for it :C )

also a ban for an entire week like in pt1 is very rare! the opportunity just presented itself bc they’d be with San’s family for the first few days; San had mixed feelings abt getting it on at his parents house, and Wooyoung got snarky abt it so San was like ‘ok i guess you are getting NOTHING for this WHOLE trip then ¯\_(ツ)_/¯’

(ps: now that reader is also in the mix, there are some fun new levels of potential torture to the concept of putting Woo on a sex ban ✪ ω ✪ )

for edging / denying Woo during actual sex; yeah that happens a lot lol — but multiple orgasm overstim is almost just as likely! San loves to change it up; but any given time they have sex, there’s decent odds that either one or the other will happen to Wooyoung… or both if he has the energy >:3

either way, both are real solid methods for San to almost guaranty he’ll have Woo crying before it’s over and what can i say? that man likes his Wooyoung a ruined, teary mess lol

as for whether Woo denies San…

well. in pt6 Wooyoung did know that San would let himself get edged all day long ( •̀ ω •́ )✧

for this version of Woosan, that’s actually a rare kink with which they might fully flip the script and have Wooyoung domming San. (they do have sex without rigid d/s roles, but it’s rare for this San to get deeply subby. tragically ( ╥ω╥ ) it will kinda sorta happen in the fic one more time tho uwu)

and usually it happens when San is real stressed or overworked or otherwise having a Bad Time™

(or if Woo is really really really in the mood for it, but in that case he will have to be on his best behaviour first lol)

they’ll really take their time for it and turn it into a ﾟ☆*Moment*☆ﾟ and it’s lowkey kinda soft; Woo will tease San plenty, obv! Woo likes his San just as teary and whiny as San likes his Wooyoung lol

but Woo is also acutely aware that he is in the caretaker role for once, and that the goal is for San to feel good and relaxed afterwards ♡ so much bodyworship, soooooooo much praise and cuddling in the aftercare <- and the praise goes both ways, bc San is so proud and grateful to Woo for taking care of him like that ;;

(and ofc when Woo’s subbing, he will ABSOLUTELY pull an edge on San if he can; just to multitask at being a menace AND give his boyfriend a lil treat hehe)

…but to come full circle, i’m not convinced that an attempt to put a sex ban on San would work out so great for Wooyoung asdkjadsjk

honestly i’m on the fence whether San’d immediately shut it down bc being the target of punishment is not his thing — but i could see Woo trying it just to be a brat, OR Woo pulls a stunt like ‘you sex ban me? good luck i sex ban you right back’ lol

which derails into an outright battle of endurance bc these two guys are not just incredibly horny but also stubborn asdkjasdjk. honestly they can’t even hold out for that long bc of aforementioned horny-ness and bc they are whipped for each other, but dear god both of them are so fucking stupidly desperate by the time they cave in and shamelessly hump each other again lol oop — and it does cumulate into a round of the shortest but also the MOST high-strung sex they’ve ever had ✪ ω ✪

(bless you Isak for being an enabler, i hope you got smth out of this ♡)

#whichever way #igby’s writing

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breannasfluff · 1 year

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Quick question, how do you write so much? I fight the words for an hour and have maybe 2 paragraphs of garbage but you pump out really nice work almost every day??? I have so many ideas but I can’t write them for love nor money

I write almost every day, or I take a break and switch it out for drawing. I generally can write a chapter in one go, so usually stock up some backlog to cover days I’m busy. Having multiple stories now means I don’t have that backlog of some, so updates are a bit slower.

As for writing tips:

1. Remove distractions. Shut discord, exit out of tumblr, mute your phone. When you are stuck, don’t go scroll social media. When writing, the only thing I touch the internet for is if I need to check a story item, like a character name, item history, etc. I cannot overstate how important this is. If you are talking to your friends, you won’t have a writing flow.

2. Do not edit as you write. Writing and editing are two different tasks. You switch between creative and critical thinking and it breaks flow. This is a scientific process and you can read more about it here.

Research electroencephalogram (EEG) suggests both heightened electrical brain wave activity and elevated dopamine levels during flow. In other words, your brain experiences both electrical and chemical changes when you’re “in the zone.”

But once you switch to self-editing mode, you move to the critical thinking side of your brain. You halt all of freewriting’s creative electrical impulses and pleasure-sensing dopamine levels. Your mind flips off one switch and turns on another.

3. Set a time, then be done. Give yourself 20 minutes and write as much as you can. Doesn’t matter if it’s garbage. You can edit garbage into something useful or you can chuck it in a bin. Just try to write, then take a break. Staring at a blank document for two hours isn’t going to make words appear and it just stressed out your brain.

4. Have an outline. Sometimes a magical idea just flows when you sit down to write, but generally not. Have an outline of what you want to have happen in your story or chapter. It doesn’t need to be in depth; for most of my oneshots I literally have a sentence or two at the top of the page. The story needs to have a goal. For example: Wild tries to teach Hyrule cooking. It doesn’t go well. Bouncing ideas off friends can be a big help! It’s why you’ve probably seen me post about prompts and suggestions, and sometimes stories are gifted to people. Talking through plot ideas can help you get a better outline or idea of action.

Misc notes:

Hate to say, but some of it is just practice. I’ve been actively writing for a little over a year with some breaks on and off. Making it a habit is a big thing for making it easy. It’s harder to restart after a break.

When I first started writing I tried to pick one aspect to improve for each story. Filter words, pacing, varying sentence starters, story arcs, etc. Fixing multiple things at once was too much work, but one item at a time was doable.

Filter words make such a huge difference in writing; I encourage you to look them up. It’s a PAIN to remove them in post, but it also taught me to cut them out. Now it’s unconscious and while some still show up, I tend to write them out automatically.

You can learn to write quickly, but if you don’t also work on quality you’ll just…write a lot. That said, it’s fanfic. Sometimes it’s just for fun and quality doesn’t matter. I’ve got plenty of stories that will never be posted because they are just for fun.

Some of it could be writing speed, too? I use a bot a lot of times for timing and tracking and generally average 30-35 words/min. Harder story topics are slower to write, like angst and emotional scenes.

I’m actually writing less this year than last, but I don’t put as much time into it. It also keeps it sustainable as a hobby, although I definitely hit periods of frustration. It can get overwhelming.

If you search my blog for the tag #writing advice or #writing tips, you should fine some other things as well.

This was rather frank, but hopefully helpful! Feel free to drop further questions and I’ll do my best to answer 💜

#asks #writing advice #writing tips #writing #creative writing #fanfic writing

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rlyehtaxidermist · 9 months

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so I’ve seen some posting about oil fire going around and as one of the people sitting in the eye of that particular hurricane i have a couple thoughts. keep in mind that I obviously can’t speak for every single Poster etc etc, obviously this is just my view on things. in particular don’t quote Twitter at me because the only time I was ever active on there was back when “have a visible professional social media account” was considered important for the job hunt. I know nothing of Touhou Twitter or Touhou Reddit and I am content in my ignorance

Anyway there’s three major points of criticism I’ve seen, and one of them as basically “it’s just a nothingburger that came out of nowhere” and even ignoring the history of that in Touhou in general, I’m going to set it aside because I don’t think it needs a more specific rebuttal than the length of this post. so on to the two more substantial complaints I’ve seen:

“it’s just a sex ship”: look, I won’t deny that there’s been a lot of sexposting. i’ve probably posted more about cock in the last 48 hours than in the last five years combined. almost certainly more than i will in the next five too. but there’s a subtext to it that often gets missed (not just by critics but also by a lot of sexposters).

these are two characters who have had... a bit of a history with being sexualised by the fandom. i shouldn’t need to recite all the “slut sanae” memes, those who know know and honestly they were never funny, but they existed. tsukasa meanwhile was stuck with “sex fox” pretty much from the beginning due to some kuda-gitsune legends specifically involving their rapid reproduction.

obviously this is going to go more into the personal view and i reiterate that i’m not speaking for Everyone’s posts, but I’m asexual. the whole emphasis people put on sex as a cultural thing, not just in terms of Posting about it but also in terms of Not Posting about it is funny to me. people dance around it like they’re waltzing with the demon core but also are baffled when i say i’m just not into it.

the oil fire sexposting isn’t about “lol they’re fucking”. there was already plenty of that. the joke is that it’s not a big deal that they’re fucking - it’s not dramatic or cathartic or even erotic. they’re bad at it, they get distracted, they’re not really thinking things through; fail sex with her cringe wife. it’s sexual in the way that a Tom and Jerry sketch is violent - stepping back from the artifice around it to say “you know, whatever else this is, it’s pretty goofy”. to me at least, that’s more of a repudiation of horny character exaggeration than simply ignoring it is.

(there’s also a false equivalence to me in the general notion of “it’s just hornyposting”, between hornyposting by straight men and that of queer women and/or the gender blender, when the characters involved are both women - especially in light of the reasonably consistent depiction of one or both as transgender in oil fire posting. there’s better people than me and my none gender with leftist beef to effortpost on that side of things.)

“tsukasa is manipulating sanae” I’d add a single phrase here - she’s trying to. The big thing with a lot of how I look at Sanae and this is no exception is that while she can be naive, she’s not stupid. There’s a difference between being trusting and being easily deceived. She’s not a master manipulator, but she lives with Kanako, she knows a bit of how the game is played.

I think this kind of echoes the last bit of the last segment, in that how the characters are portrayed in the context matters a lot. Oil Fire Sanae is, at least within the spheres I see here, heavily coded as if not explicitly autistic. A lot of the content is being written by autistic people, myself included.

Autistic adults are, in my anecdotal experience, pretty conscious of being manipulative or manipulated, because we have to learn deliberately where that line is drawn and how to act around it.

To get into explicitly personal experiences, I often think of myself as being “manipulative” because I have to deliberately strategise a lot of social cues and how I present myself and information I know, and still haven’t really shook that perspective internally despite the intellectual knowledge of several therapists and psychiatrists that no, that’s just an autism thing, most people do all that stuff without thinking about it.

Now obviously simply Being Autistic is not an unassailable fortress against manipulation, nor does it prevent you from being actually manipulative in your own right, but it does tilt the pinball table a bit, again especially in terms of awareness. And that awareness helps control a response - again, even if you’re not always quite sure how to respond.

Sanae’s way of cutting that Gordian knot is what a friend of mine calls the Bishop Myriel Method: how can someone steal what is freely given? She has her lines, but the stuff Tsukasa is leaning on her to get - protection, shelter, and an in-group - are all things Sanae doesn’t see an issue with giving to her. Tsukasa for her part doesn’t really understand this, being more used to dealing with power-broker types where everything has a quid-pro-quo, and from a position of pretty notable inferiority (just look at how any of the stronger youkai talk to her in UDoALG) at that - so she looks at all the leverage that Sanae now has over her (leverage which Sanae doesn’t really understand she has), and doubles down on trying to be manipulative because she doesn’t understand that she doesn’t have to.

in conclusion obviously I’m not thinking about all this wall of text every time I post something, for the same reason that I’m not thinking about how my house’s foundations are designed every time I go up or down the stairs - the general idea is there in the background and actually needing to go check it out usually means that I won’t be doing whatever I was going up the stairs for in the first place. but these are The Thoughts, upon which the lower effort thoughts stand as they heckle each other. there are many like them but these are mine

#touhou #oil fire #just to be clear before the piss on the poor website hits again: i'm not saying 'people who don't like it are ableist/transphobic' or w/e #i'm sure it's not to everyone's tastes and you do you #but just because you don't like something doesn't mean people who do like it only have Dumb Reasons for it

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glacierruler · 15 days

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Patton Sanders Analysis

Taglist: @januscorner @pandagobrr @icycove @cutebisexualmess @oatmeal-stans-the-trash-rat

@part-time-zombie

Post Under the Read More, it is long!

This is an analysis of Patton Sanders. Putting this here right now, I relate to Patton Sanders a lot. This is of the official episodes, and not the Asides!

Patton Sanders is Thomas’s morality and emotions.

Very important distinction is that he is Thomas’s morality not The Morality. He is not the arbiter of right and wrong, he is the aspect of Thomas that was raised a certain way to believe that certain things were right or wrong.

Within the first episode, Patton is acting as Morality first. This is important because that’s how he always seems to act as first. He always tries to be Morality and then emotions. However, this is not beneficial.

In the first episode he asks Thomas, “What positive impacts do you inevitably hope to bring to this world?”

Thomas is surprised by this, as it seems that Morality is more of a comic relief character in the beginning in his eyes. While probably due to the fact that the series was not initially supposed to be more than a few episodes long iirc, it can also be taken another way. It’s a way to show that Patton is smarter, and does think a lot deeper than how he appears to. Because he’s always trying to be happy (as happy is a good emotion. We’ll get into emotions and morality in a bit). However, when Thomas notes that it is surprising for Patton to say something like that, Patton points to his and Logan’s glasses, noticing that they’re the same.

Why does he do this? What could he possibly gain from doing this? I believe this is because he doesn’t wish to be seen as the deep philosophical side, but as the Happy Pappy Patton (something he says in a later episode). Being deep like this could effect how the other sides see him, and (like all the sides) doesn’t want to be seen that way.

There are a few other things to note in the first episode, when talking about his flaws, Patton says, “you can be a bit selfish with your food and your other belongings.” Which is notably something that Thomas does, but in the section where they talk about his good attributes, the moral side states “you believe there’s good in everyone,” which is something that Thomas thinks. And it’s our first clue to just how hard on Thomas, and himself, that Patton really is. If you can say something you’re doing wrong morally but can’t say an action that you’re taking to do something correct, it begs the question, how hard are you one yourself?

Morality is learned, it is not something you’re born just knowing right off the bat. This is important, because it’s important to keep in mind that Patton’s views are Thomas’s views on morality.

In A New Year of Lying to Myself… In Song!!! Morality and Logic butt heads, Patton is attempting to use his sway over Thomas to have him learn to cook more, while Logan wants him to learn something new. Patton doesn’t seem to quite believe it when Logan tells him that Thomas has “cooked in the kitchen plenty of times” since the WAY TOO ADULT (way too adult), and asks for proof. And I’m struck with why, since Thomas is them wouldn’t Patton be able to see Thomas cooking? While Logan is Logic and contains information Thomas learns, like cooking (therefore it making sense that Logan would be perhaps a little more aware than Patton), Patton is at the forefront of Thomas’s morality. And he had deemed it morally good for Thomas to cook. It would be completely reasonable to assume that Patton would be aware of that. Unless the only reason he deemed it morally correct is because, and I’m quoting to the best of my ability since this is said when Roman, Patton, and Logan are speaking over each other, “The basic essential things, that you need to learn to seriously become an adult to succeed at adulting.” (Again, very much trying to hear what he was saying in order to get this quote, I may be slightly off on what he said). Based on this, he views it as something everyone who is an adult does and knows how to do. Which very much reminds me of how neurodivergents like myself mask. We don’t know how to do something and so we’re hard on ourselves for not being able to do it, yet it’s something that otherwise isn’t important to us or how we function. I think this is Patton’s views on Thomas cooking. He believes it essential to how Thomas can take care of and survive on his own, which is why it’s morally correct to learn, however it isn’t actually something he deems important enough to pay attention to.

Also Patton already has an aversion to lying in this episode. He doesn’t try to seem positive and upbeat in this, or attempt to be gracious to Thomas about New Years goals. He just agrees, not wanting to lie as that’s wrong but not seeing anything positive he could say in Thomas’s defence (which again, leads me to believe he is extremely hard on Thomas and in turn himself. This is corroborated in other episodes as well).

Thankfully Logic, Morality, and Princey reach an agreement of small goals that Thomas could make in that episode. (Which solves that episode’s problems, but not Thomas’s of being hard on himself, this is something I hope to revisit.)

One of the first times Patton encourages Roman, from what I’ve seen, is in I’M IN A DISNEY SHOW!! (I’m in a disney show!!) This is because Roman is excited about the fact that Thomas was in a disney show, despite being there himself. He was achieving his hopes and dreams, and Roman was excited. Virgil tells him “You were there… princey, we’re both factors of his personality.” This prompts Patton to tell Anxiety to let Roman express his emotions. While I agree with the sentiment, I think this is the first we see of the sense of emotions and morality feed into the ego. Which will end up being a problem (As we will discuss later in this essay).

Patton then proceeds to tell Thomas that “I just want to support you in everything you do. Plus I saw you had some leftover pizza?” While I completely believe the sentiment of that first statement is true, by saying he wants pizza right after he is undermining that first statement. And I think that’s because he only cares to the point of where Thomas is happy when it comes to Thomas’s hopes and dreams. (This is because he Morality and Emotions, this is Not because he Unsympathetic, I want to make this clear. While I am being critical of Patton, I am in no way shape or form calling him unsympathetic!) This interaction is proof that while Patton wants Thomas to be happy and morally in the right when it comes to how he’s happy he doesn’t seem to care.

In The MIND vs. The HEART (The Mind vs. The Heart) is when we get the confirmation that Morality is also deeper emotions and empathy.

I think that this bit of diologue from Thomas himself illustrates Patton’s constant struggle. “Dad guy. You encourage me to do what’s right and strive to do the most good in this world that I possibly can. And I appreciate that. But a lot of times I spread myself too thin. I also tend to make others a priority over me, and their feelings a priority over mine.” Patton is Morality, he has learned to put other’s emotions over his own. He has learned to put other people before him.

Another problem I believe Patton to have is not listening to others because he believes himself to always be in the right. He is morality after all, he knows what he’s doing, he believes that his default is to be good so therefore he is good. So in a lot of the videos, whenever he’s not specifically addressed, or has some sort of stake in it he tends to go off and do his own thing. If Thomas isn’t feeling bad, and if he isn’t doing something that is deemed morally wrong by Patton, then what is Patton supposed to do.

However, as seen in all of this, he is also Thomas’s emotions. He is not just how Thomas views right and wrong, but how he feels in each and every situation. Having to handle not only what’s right and wrong, but Thomas’s emotions is a hard job. But it’s the job he has. And he can’t be wrong, because if he’s wrong, if he’s in the wrong. Then Thomas is, and then Thomas is a bad person, in Pattons point of view. While one of Patton’s fears might be spiders, I believe an even greater one is if he was wrong the whole time, if because he was wrong and Thomas was wrong, that he led Thomas to be a bad person. And this is only really brought to the front by Janus. While the others tell Patton he’s being too hard on Thomas, Janus shows it in the form of Frog Patton hurting Thomas. I think one of the reasons it’s so hard for Patton to understand this is because he doesn’t want to be anything other than Thomas’s Happy Pappy Patton. Nothing more than the morality and positive emotions that keep Thomas upbeat. If he’s anything other than that then he believes he’s failed as a side. He solves the tinier problems without addressing the bigger ones because he didn’t understand what exactly he was doing wrong.

Yes, he had been told he was being overbearing, spreading Thomas too thin. But he was never told how detrimental that was, how wrong for Thomas it was. He just knew that he and Logan butted heads about it a lot because of Thomas’s schedule. After all, he can’t be wrong, he’s the moral side, the side that knows right and wrong. And Roman, Virgil, and Logan all enhance this idea so much! In Growing Up, they tell Patton to stick to knowing the difference between right and wrong, and then go and ask him for help. They consistently tear Patton down to Just Morality or Just Emotions depending on the video. And at the beginning of the series they barely listen to him as is. I think this fundamentally changes in both MOVING ON (Moving On) parts 1 and 2. This is where they start to realize he’s not just Morality or Happy Emotions. But Morality and All of Thomas’s Emotions in general.

“I feel guilty for still feeling this way for so long.” Patton doesn’t like feeling horrible, especially not for long periods of time. Possibly because he’s been taught that negative emotions are bad, possibly because it makes Thomas feel bad and he feels guilty. But with him being Morality as well… It makes it so that negative emotions feed into the Thomas Is Doing Something Wrong complex, meaning he has to figure out what’s going on and sort that out while dealing with, you guessed it, emotions! It’s a loop, a repeating pattern of events that he doesn’t know how to stop, and It Is Of My Opinion that that is because while Morality is something learned, after a while it feels like something that is engrained into your being.

There is also a habit of whenever Roman is feeling down or bruised of Patton going to and helping him. Which isn’t necessarily bad, however we don’t see the other sides do this nearly as often. In Am I ORIGINAL? (Am I Original?) Patton is the first to reassure Roman that content doesn’t have to be original, after Thomas tells him that he could never disappoint him. And then, in the very next episode, Patton is the only one reassuring Princey after his ego has been bruised. And I think this really sets up a sideline of Patton being there for Roman and helping him out, which makes Roman really rely on him a lot. This is also emphasized in The Sanders Sides 12 SIDES OF CHRISTMAS (The Sanders Sides 12 Sides Of Christmas), when all the sides are getting onto Roman’s song lyric for Virgil, and Patton has to be the one to tell all of them to be nice to the princely side. (Janus also uses this fact in Can Lying Be Good, to try to get Roman to side with him). Now this isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but if your source of ego is getting fed by only one facet of your personality that can end up being a devastating blow when that part is proven to be faulty or wrong.

While there have been attempts to reign Patton in, I don’t think he fully understood that how hard he was being on Thomas was ultimately harming him. As none of them were nearly bad as the events that transpired to get us to the Selfishness vs Selflessness and Putting Other’s First. “Roman I thought you fought for honor? Why are you pushing Thomas to be dishonest?” This is what Patton says to Roman about possibly lying to his friend’s to go to the callback. This seems inconsequential, but I wonder if Roman would have made the same decision had Patton not said that. In Putting Other’s First, Janus and Patton butt heads, arguing about Morality and Why People Should Do Things. And Roman takes Patton’s side. I think this is due to the fact that while he knew Thomas wouldn’t be happy at the wedding, he also ‘knew’ that it was the right thing to do because Patton is (Thomas’s) Morality, and Patton has to be right about this. Not only that but Patton has been there for him time and time again and he wanted to return the favor. Be a prince.

Yet Patton learned, by turning into a frog, that he was hurting Thomas. That while he might be doing what he believes to be Morally Correct, because of his actions, his beliefs, Thomas was being hurt. And he realized that what Janus was saying was true, and he was able to visualize just how badly he was hurting Thomas. But with how it ended up going down, it came at the expense of hurting Roman, of (I believe unintentionally) shattering the ego.

As per my first(not nearly as extensive) analysis, I said “Patton absolutely believes going to the wedding was the correct choice, but Thomas had been excited to be fulfilling his dreams of being an actor. And so the excitement of his friends getting married was dampened by the fact that he missed out on what could’ve been a dream job. And not only that, but now because Thomas is bummed about missing this opportunity, Patton feels guilty about the disappointment, because his friends are getting married and he should be happy and even excited about it. But he isn’t. And so, while morally Thomas did the right thing(according to Patton), because he isn’t happy about what’s happened, that essentially traps Patton in this circle of guilt. Guilt for the choice that Thomas made not making Thomas happy; and guilt for being at Lee and Mary-Lee’s wedding to celebrate and not being ecstatic for them.”

#glacier rambles #patton sanders #sanders sides #sasi #ts sides #thomas sanders sides #ts patton #patton #patton sanders analysis

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