#i also tell my friends how like. gender is performance and a means of attracting ppl bc if i like someone who tells me they like femmes | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

vannahfanfics · 1 year

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Hi hi! I go by Sunny online, I use they/them, I'm 5'7, I have decently long brown hair (I'm growing it out as my years of peace and if someone provokes me to anger I'll cut it off and leave it on their doorstep as a cute reference to emperors in ancient China <3) I'm chaotic in nature, I've been described as the literal personification of a d&d bard. Which I'd say is decently true, I'm charismatic and flirty, I'm great and convincing people and I'm the hype person! My go to words/phrases are, "Slay king/queen live your truth" "Have my babies" "Naur/Hyelleur" "I'm gonna beat you up *pretend beats them up* are you dead yet?" All with a funny tone and my excellent autistic timing. I also like to do bits, and one of them includes saying no to a task that's asked of me, then proceeding to do said task. I also like to make hearts with my hands in various ways and poke my tongue out briefly at people like a frog.

This is my left eye for reference :)

I have an oval face shape with some baby fat, but not too much :P

Also I'm proven to be totally chill and super smooth around people that I find very attractive. I may get a little nervous but no one can tell until after said attractive person leaves. I'm demiromantic and demisexual so it means I don't experience those kinds of attractions without a deep bond. I don't care for gender but women and nb people tend to befriend me and get close so that skews the results some heh.

Good luck with the comissions! I hope I didn't out too little/much information, and buh-byeeeee <3333

Ahh, Sunny, I apologize for how long it took me to get to this! Between medical school shenanigans, writer's block/my ADHD squirrel-braining, and all that mess, I've just been on a rollercoaster of poor time management over here. TT.TT But, hopefully, you'll find it as having been well worth the wait! Thanks again for commissioning <3

P.S. I also do the thing where I say "no" when someone asks me to do something while immediately moving to perform said task XD

I match you with...

Ling Yao from FullMetal Alchemist!

Okay, full disclosure, I'm a little biased because Ling was one of my first great manga/anime loves... However, your personal blurb just screamed Ling to me, so I'm going with him anyways! I just think you two would be total peas in a pod—the best or worst chaotic duo, depending on who you ask, muahaha! Here's a few reasons why I think you two would be really compatible:

I think being demiromantic and demisexual works in your favor when it comes to Ling! After all, he's a guy who forms very deep and powerful bonds himself, and his devotion to those he cares about not only influences a lot of his personality but serves as the core of his motivations. I think he'd totally vibe with the idea of needing a strong, meaningful relationship in place already before any feelings beyond friendship develop. He can play at being friends with everyone and seeming like he doesn't form serious attachments, but we know that he does, and those are the relationships he puts the most value in. That being said, he is entirely personable; it would be easy to become friends with him and go from there! He's a lot like you in his extroversion, after all. People are where the party's at, and you are certainly a party people that he'd invite into his life! :)

When it comes to Ling, I feel like physical appearance is something that may be an element of catching his initial interest and cause him to take notice of someone (such as a "hot senator," wink-wink, nudge-nudge) but isn't necessarily the key factor in his decision to pursue somebody. That being said, it's not something he totally ignores, either; the more he falls for you, the more things he falls in love with about you, and that includes appearance. He'll begin to just randomly think about how luscious your hair is, how gorgeous your eyes are, how you look lovely whether you're dressed comfy or to the nines... And if you ask him why he's got a dreamy look on his face while staring at you, he's certainly not shy in telling you exactly what's on his mind! But he'd be unable to pick a favorite part about you because he just adores all of you so much, inside and outside, physical and not. And he'll tell you that, too!

Now, you did mention that you're not really keen on words of affirmation as a love language. It's not Ling's primary love language, but he's not the type to withhold compliments or be shy about his feelings, as I mentioned before. Bear in mind that, to him, they aren't words of affirmation; it's just the truth! He never says things that he doesn't genuinely believe, so it might be hard for him to stifle those urges in the beginning of navigating a relationship with you. But he will try, simply because he doesn't want to upset you or come off as disingenuous. Don't hold it against him if things slip out here and there, though! And he will more than make up for it through his primary love language, which is acts of service. I mean, we've seen what lengths Ling will go to for those he cares about and/or feels responsible for. If you asked this man to pluck the moon out of the sky for you, he'd be searching for the nearest rocketship to commandeer. He'll always try to do things to make you smile, make your day better, make your life easier... Whatever you need at the time and whatever makes you happy! Finally, he's also a lot like you when it comes to physical affection. His desire for it grows as his feelings grow; if it's a serious relationship, he can be a real cuddle monster! He won't want to go two minutes without hugging or kissing or touching you or some way. He isn't even ashamed about admitting that he's a little needy, LOL. He just adores you oh so much! If you're willing to give, why should he be shy about asking? Of course, if you're not in the mood, he can easily pick up on that and won't overstep your boundaries. He'll definitely be a little sad about it, though, and will be a little bit more of a menace when you're ready to accept physical affection from him again! >:)

A lot of the reason that I think you guys work together, as I've alluded to a bit, is that your personalities are so similar! Sometimes, this can actually be a recipe for not being able to enter a relationship with a person, but I don't that'd be the case for you and Ling. I think you two would 100% fuel each other's madness. I mean, tell me that Ling would not also cut off his hair and leave it on the doorstep of someone who provoked him. That is peak petty Ling vibes right there. To further cite your personal blurb, Ling definitely has bard energy—charismatic, shrewd, humorous, free-spirited... A lot of qualities that you also have! I can only imagine the shenanigans that the two of you would get up to. You two will definitely come up with all the chaotic/hilarious bits, witticisms, and the like. The same can be said about your sense of justice and loyalty. Those are values that Ling holds in high regard himself and immensely respects in a person. His ass will be right there with you in the jail cell. And, hello, your love of food? It totally resonates with Ling! So the fact that you like food is your ticket straight to his heart, LMAO! He loves having a good time over a nice meal, and he gets to see you super happy while he's at it? Win-win, baby! And, let's be honest, Ling can be swayed by the dollar signs... so he will definitely respect your dreams of rolling in the dough, haha!

Ling is highly observant, so if you've caught his attention in a way that makes him want to court you, then he's going to make sure to make all the right moves to win your heart <3 So, I figured I'd expound a bit on the kind of things Ling does when he finds out the things that make you happy!:

Ling, 90% of the time, does not do planned dates. This dude just calls and sometimes even shows up out of the blue hoping that you are free so he can spirit you off on an adventure, LOL! He just can't help it; the instant that he wants to talk to your or see you, he just has to, right then and there! Not only that, this guy lives his life by the rule of spontaneity; it's no fun if you plan every second of your day!

Honestly, he'll probably pick up on the fact that you like food during your first meeting. A lot of your friendship will involve food, whether it's you guys going out to eat together or ordering in or just talking about your shared gourmet interests, LOL. But once he gets it in his head that he wants to date you? Man, he kicks it into high gear.

You mention a new restaurant you wanna try? Dress up, love, because he'll be picking you up at seven. Your favorite snacks? He has them on hand anytime the situation could call for it just because he wants to see your face light up. You mention you have nothing to do this weekend? Knock-knock, here's Ling with some take-out and some movies or videogames, ready to waste the night away with you.

At first, Ling's not a guy who cooks. He's got people to do that for him, LMAO. But this man would 100% learn to cook for you. The notion of you enjoying something that he made just for you... Ah! It makes his heart go doki-doki! Like, literally, he might shed a tear of joy the first time because it makes him that happy to know you liked his food.

And if you do the same for him? First it will blow his mind, then he'll get stupid excited because food, and then he'll get all choked up because you did this just for him! It could honestly be burnt or salty or straight up inedible, but this guy will lick the plate clean because you made it and that makes it a five-star meal in his book :)

Real talk, he knows you don't like dishonesty, so he'll be tactfully honest if it wasn't good. But if you try to get him not to eat it, you'll just end up chasing him around the house while he's shoveling food in his mouth. Sometimes his principles overrule his brain, and he would rather die than waste a single bit of a meal you made for him!

Needless to say, eating with you is his favorite activity. He gets to eat some yummy food, whether one or both of your made it or it's from a restaurant, and enjoy quality time with you. And it makes you just as happy! Seriously, what's not to enjoy?

And, last but not least, here is the little drabble that comes as part of the Tier III match-up! I am kind of passionate about Ling just being a spontaneous gremlin that somehow is just so sickeningly sweet and heart-throbbing, so, here, have some super cliché and chaotic fluff!:

You should have known better than to talk to Ling about romantic clichés.

It was a trap. Of course it was a trap! You've known the guy forever, and yet he still managed to trick you right into the conversation with that silver tongue of his. You'd only been dating a month, so him bringing up the topic of cliché romantic gestures should have been the biggest warning flag ever. When you managed to miss that, you should have been tipped off by the even more obvious probing about which gestures you found too cheesy and which ones kind of got your heart fluttering. But the bastard was too damn smooth and navigated that conversation leaving you none the wiser.

So, here you are, staring out of your bedroom window with an expression that is a mixture of embarrassment and endearment. Why? Because Ling was sitting in your yard, singing a very off-key rendition of your favorite song while playing an acoustic guitar more terribly than you thought a person could.

Well, as they say: hindsight is 20/20. Still, you don't know how you missed that.

"Ling!" You're laughing as you open your window and lean out to call to him. He had started off looking all seductive-like at you, but very soon he started really feeling himself and now had his head thrown back, yowling to the moon like some deranged cat. In fact, you can hear several cats in the distance responding to his call. He doesn't hear them, nor does he hear you, not with him singing at a pitch that borders on one only dogs can hear. So, after a small fit of giggles, you shout louder, "Ling!"

"Eh?" he cuts off to stare owlishly at you. He then plasters a big, cheesy grin on your face that is so full of enthusiasm and adoration that you can't help but let your heart melt a little.

"Oh, hey! Whatcha think?" Before you can answer, he cocks a brow and flashes you a suggestive smirk. "You're looking a little off-balance there. Did I sweep ya off your feet?"

"I'm off-balance, all right, but only because your singing is so bad that it's given me vertigo!" you rib. "What the hell were you thinking? I bet the neighbors are on the phone with animal control telling them that there's a band of raccoons tearing each other to pieces over here!"

As always, Ling takes your teasing in stride, just offering you a sheepish smile and a little shrug.

"Well, at least I can say I tried. I should have gone for something else, though. I know I can't sing for shit. But I've always wanted to try it, you know? Those guys in the movies make it seem so swoon-worthy." He wastes no time in discarding the guitar in the grass to retrieve later. He walks over to a plastic bag sitting nearby, and when he hefts it up, you recognize the logo of one of your favorite takeout places. "It's a good thing I brought a contingency plan."

"You should have started with that," you laugh as he approaches the window. Dextrous and limber, it's no trouble for him to clamber his way up and perch himself in it, straddling the sill and smiling warmly while he holds out the bag of delicious-smelling food to you.

"Come on. Admit it; you liked it," he goads, playfully yanking the to-go bag out of your reach just when you go to take it. When you pout at him, he wiggles his brows and presses, "Come on. You're telling me that you didn't swoon just the teeniest, tiniest bit?"

You debate lying to him just to do it, but you can't bring yourself to. Underneath his playful expression is genuine eagerness. So, after releasing a little sigh of relent, you admit, "Okay. I did swoon." When his face lights up with happiness, you hastily add, "Just the teeniest, tiniest bit, though."

"Whatever, I'll take it," he chirps and deposits the bag of food in your waiting hands.

You waste no time in tearing it open to get at the boxes of scrumptious goodies within. Like you've often done, you eat there at the window using some nearby furniture as a makeshift table, Ling perched in the window and you in a chair next to him. You melt as soon as you take the first bite, and immediately, Ling's face softens.

"What?" you ask around your mouthful of food.

"Mmm, I'm just glad that at least one of my romantic gestures made you happy," he answers nonchalantly. You roll your eyes, but that hot flush of happiness and nervousness is rushing through you despite your cool-as-a-cucumber outward appearance. And Ling has known you long enough to see right through it, prompting him to add, "Don't care how I do it, as long as I can make you smile."

"You're such a simp," you mumble despite the fact that a stupidly happy smile is growing on your face.

"Ah, but this simp is sitting in your window, so what does that make you?" he challenges. You respond with a playful shove to his shoulder, knowing that he'll catch himself as he slips to the side. He does with a squawk, then responds with an affronted huff and a light shove to your head. "Fine! Next time I try to dazzle you with a romantic cliché, I won't bring takeout!" He even starts acting like he's climbing back out the window to leave.

"Noooooo! I'm sorry! Please don't!" you whine, throwing your arms around his middle even though you know it's an act. You feign that it's just the food you care about, but in reality, it makes you giddy that he likes you enough to embarrass himself with corny displays if only to see you smile. And he knows that, which is why he settles himself back in the window and smiles at you.

In hindsight, maybe talking with Ling about romantic clichés wasn't so bad after all.

Interested in a commission? Check out this post!

#vannahfanfics commissions #commissions #match-ups #matchups #fullmetal alchemist #fma #fullmetal alchemist brotherhood #fullmetal alchemist: brotherhood #fmab #fma brotherhood

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awildtei · 2 months

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wails ok i actually don't watch yellowjackets (i just consume it avidly thru gifset. ykwim) but every few months i look thru jackieshauna gifs and get amvs for them on my youtube algorithm ALL the time lol so i was immediately curious about that one

Okay okay i'll try to reel myself in because jackieshauna make me certifiably insane and i could talk all day about them. I've only vague thoughts in this doc so all i can share is:

"Being Jackie’s best friend makes Shauna feel disgusting. There has always been something sordid and hungry in her; sometimes she thinks there is a yawning mouth where her soul should be. Loving Jackie brings the teeth to the surface, makes Shauna feel filthy and obscene and violent.

Later, she will say Jackie wasn’t a good friend. What she will mean is that being Jackie’s friend made her be the worst version of herself, which in turn made her hate herself. Was it Jackie’s fault? Was this ugliness in Shauna always going to fester, no matter who she chose to make friendship bracelets with? Is there any young girl who loves her best friend without wanting to eat her alive, too?"

but i can tell you more about where this is going: basically it's just a little shauna character study from before the crash. I think one of the most fascinating things she does in yellowjackets is cast herself in this very cliché 'unattractive sidekick to the hot rich girl who treats her like shit' role, even though 'um, actually, ellen, that's not true': she's on the most popular team in school, she's obviously beautiful, and jackie loves her and listens to her and is far from awful, really. The only one putting shauna in the corner, let's say, is shauna.

And all these feelings get mixed in with guilt and trauma in the wilderness while jackie is still alive, but they truly explode when jackie and shauna's baby die (both tangled up in really interesting ways). So this is kind of… okay, obviously shauna's feelings about jackie got all distorted by the grief and the incredibly traumatic experience she went through, but they were already complicated well before the wilderness. And this is me trying to explore that: what was shauna 'the butcher' shipman's inner world like before the crash? How was her love for jackie already bent out of shape by jealousy and projection and attraction?

One of the things yellowjackets makes very clear is that the wilderness didn't make the girls be violent and horrible, that was all them and something they already were before. And we see that the instinct for violence is in Shauna before and after acting as the butcher, the instinct to twist the knife in deeper and get her hands warm with blood (and there will be some exploration of gender and violence in this fic and how shauna's coming into masculinity mirrors travis's coming into femininity and contrasts tai's performance of masculinity...): fucking jeff behind jackie's back, being ambivalent about freezing allie out, hiding from jackie that she got into brown, snapping at jackie about the dress and then wearing it anyway (that one in particular is like, their friendship in a nutshell: jackie: hey, just wear the dress i gave you, you look so hot in it *gay stare* shauna: OH MY GOD JACKIE STOP TELLING ME WHAT TO DO. also shauna: *wears the dress*. shauna during their final fight: FUCK YOU, JACKIE, YOU'RE ALWAYS TELLING ME WHAT TO WEAR. jackie: 😟⁉️).

Shauna wants to hurt jackie as much as she wants to fuck her/be her/be with her, even if she then does some interesting historical revisionism and pretends that their dynamic was one of master/pet with her as the poor little meow meow. So this fic is just about how she justified all this to herself before the crash allowed her to be the worst version of herself unapologetically.

#*immediately fails at reeling herself in*#thanks for the ask jane :)))#wip game #asks game #tei's

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otter1962crystalball · 3 months

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Fake me vs. Real Me / Old Me vs. New Me / and more...

June 26th, 2024

Happy 26th day of Pride, everyone. I’ve written quit a bit about my life experiences in the past 25 entries of my blog. The road from what I used to be to what I am now has been long and often confusing for me. There are a lot of contrasts that I would like to share.

For most of the first two decades of my life, I fought who I was by pretending and hiding. Feeling that I was different from a very early age taught me that hiding was the best idea. There were no clear signposts that told me which direction to go. I was shown a path that was set out by society: to grow up, go to school, get a job, marry a woman and have children. There was no help with my gender identity or my sexuality. Conversely, there were lots of negative messages about gay people. I took them on and accepted them all as a reason to hide and worry about who I was. I was going to go to hell. I was a degenerate. I was a criminal. I was something disgusting. I was sick. I would be making a choice. The list went on and on.

Religion of course played a big role. As I’ve written before the messages came from the bible and were not to be questioned. It didn’t matter to the young me that those who interpreted the bible to suit their own beliefs or moral standards. I didn’t see these beliefs as hypocritical. There were the ideas that sexual acts gay people performed were sick and dirty - even though everyone else performed them… Hell, I was considered a criminal up until June 27, 1969. That was when Prime Minister Pierre Elliott Trudeau signed it into law. In 1973 being gay was delisted as a mental disorder as well. Those two points in time didn’t help me growing up though. It didn’t stop my parents from commenting negatively on it or stop the bullies in school from teasing me, beating me and abusing me either. It was clear for most of my youth to see myself as a deviant, something sick and that I needed to hide myself from being discovered.

What did I do? I kept to myself as I went into adolescence. I spent a lot of my time lost in science fiction books, television and movies. Any friends I had were not in the know. That’s because I kept quiet, didn’t try to be overly extroverted and tried to make myself as small as possible. I knew I was attracted to other males and I hated it, but I wanted it as well. There were times when I let my personality show and I was quickly beaten down by some bully telling me to shut up or my parents telling me to not be so dramatic after telling them I had a low self esteem. The message was crystal clear: shut up, buck up and close up. The results? Low self esteem, depression, self-hatred, and seeking a way to forget in a bottle of beer or whiskey. I would get angry at the smallest issues and blame others for my anger. I would try to alienate myself - even from my friends. During my adolescence, I had no concept of socializing and dragged that into my adulthood.

I even pretended to have a girlfriend. We connected and she liked hanging out with me - until I didn’t show any signs of wanting sex. I can remember painfully hearing her have sex in the next room at a drinking party as I sat there drunk and wondering what was wrong with me. To this day, I’ve never had sexual relations with a woman.

So when I finally came out, I “accepted” myself. That only meant that I could have tons of sex with men, drink a lot and party. It didn’t mean that I allowed myself to be me, really love myself or accept myself as a good person. I’ve written about my adventures in my other blog entries and how I ended up HIV+.

HIV was just another reason to not accept myself - only to accept that I was no good, a screw up and that I had fulfilled all the things that I had learned in my childhood about going to hell, degenerate, sick, dirty and more. I lost a relationship from it because I couldn’t be a true partner to someone else. Hell, I couldn’t take care of myself for the longest time.

I’ve also written about the things that changed my point of view: becoming a group fitness instructor, getting my first teaching degree, getting on medications that turned my death sentence to a chronic illness. I taught school for thirty years but for a large part of that, I felt that I was a fake.

What pulled me out of all of this? How did I deal with all the negative images of myself? I just plowed through life; having dysfunctional relationships, being codependent and not really loving myself. In the past five years, I’ve done a lot of work on myself. I’ve learned about my inner critic and how he destroys my chances of being happy. I know my inner critic is there to protect me, but he had to know the new boundaries of what is safe and healthy versus supposedly unsafe and unhealthy situations. Friendships have gone from dysfunctional to supportive and caring. I worked through my belief that I was a fake in my work by really looking inward during my Master’s. I began to see the value in the things that I contribute to the world and above all, began to love myself and accept myself.

It’s been a long and hard haul but so worth it. I am now reaping the benefits of a great life. I have retired and can now do the things that I kept putting off such as travelling and writing. I am spending quality time with friends that matter to me and I matter to them. I don’t torture myself when I screw up anymore. I just look at it as a learning experience and let it go. To be honest, there are times when I back pedal but now I know that those times are not permanent. They are just small obstacles put in my path by the universe to keep me on my toes.

For Pride, I am celebrating being me - the imperfect, bumbling, loving, caring, naive, kind of sexy guy. I’m taking a few risks in being more social as well. I’m getting out of my own way! I’ve planned a trip to Bear Week in Provincetown in July and Palm Springs Pride in October. I’m looking at travelling to Costa Rica, Portugal, Japan and Australia (and more). I’m thinking of writing a book about my life as well (I have to tell my inner critic to shut up about that one…) and continue working on my science fiction trilogy.

Carpe diem, everyone.

#the new me #gay #pride #loving myself #self esteem #self love #thriving #positive outlook

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zgvlt · 2 years

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aimer rook hunt x reader

summary: Rook, appreciator of stage plays, finds himself enthralled by you, an ensemble member. Though he finds you beautiful from the very beginning, he comes to discover the difference between attraction and love

author's note: rook and i have the same hobby: stage play appreciation, and i've been really into this french musical lately called "romeo et juliette", and a song from there titled "aimer" has been stuck in my head for two, three weeks now? it birthed this

tags: gender neutral reader, sfw, fluff, friends to lovers, 7.2k+ words

you can also read this on AO3

It isn't so much love at first sight as it is attraction at first sight, something both special and not. It is special in the sense that there’s always something new and wonderful about each person he finds himself attracted to, and, for he who calls himself fickle with love, not special in the sense that the experience is not out of the ordinary by any means either.

Watching a play, for instance, would result in his attention being grabbed by multiple actors one after the other even as he evaluated the show as a whole. He simply could not help it, the shining passion and star power performers emanated on stage was incomparable to anything else!

Though perhaps it is a little unusual, Rook thinks, to draw his eyes towards a member of the ensemble while the lead actress is singing her heart out on stage. Singing an incredibly beautiful ballad, an award-winning one, might he add.

Now, he absolutely adores ensemble members; lovely as you are, you're not the first case of his attention being taken by one! Especially in productions like this, it was clear they had unmatched energy and dedication despite not being the leads. They were essential in bringing the world on stage to life, to make their fellow actors stand out, but in a scene like this, tone somber and spotlight on one being alone, he should not be looking at you.

But he looks at you.

Is it because you’re beautiful? You were most definitely beautiful, and he would be willing to tell you as much later should he get the chance, but so is everyone else on stage, thus that is not why he looks at you.

At this point in his life, Rook would describe himself as a master of stage play appreciation, and as much as he can praise, he can criticize all the same, and… your expression. It is your expression that draws his attention to you, for the simple fact that you should not have much of one present on your face.

Your fellow ensemble members are straight faced and still, unemotive until cued to be otherwise, but you, oh you, doe-eyed in amazement, looking just as enthralled as the audience as you watch your fellow cast member sing, a rookie mistake that only an actor making their stage début could make.

Still, mistake as it was, the pure adoration on your face, genuineness clear as a blue sky on the sunniest summer’s day, he could not help but adore it. How poetic was it that among a sea of people faking their emotions, people pretending to be one or the other, there you stood showing something real.

Among the cast, it is clear to him you are the baby bird amongst them, the little fledgling who cannot wait to be able to soar skies as vast as the others have. Would you be able to reach those heights? Rook isn’t completely sure, how could he be from one performance alone? Still, he thinks he would love to see you try and do so.

As an actor, you have much more to experience, but thinking of your potential brings him excitement, and your visible excitement he finds adorable, so who could blame him if he comes looking for you after the play? He’s more than ready to talk your ear off about the performance and give his comments, mostly praise of course, and he’s enthused to have spotted you backstage.

You don’t notice him approaching. It’s understandable when he’s still quite a distance away, and he generally makes sure most creatures hardly ever do see him coming, but he slows his tracks anyway. He doesn’t do it to not alarm you, a shocked expression would have been delightful to witness as well, but more so to have more time to observe you without your knowledge.

You should be reveling in your success, the collective success of opening night, but you’re not— you stand away from your fellow castmates, slumped against the wall as though you were to perform a requiem. Oh sorrow, what a sweetly cruel mistress she must be to try and visit you at a time like this! It is why Rook decides to step in, to shine a light so that she who is unwanted may depart.

“Petit oiseau, this dark cloud looming above you, what could be causing so?” he gives you credit for not being too alarmed by his sudden presence, though your feathers do appear quite ruffled. “What is it that ails your soul, that which prevents you from celebrating tonight’s sh-”

“Petit… what?” you interrupted, some of the previous tension on your face leaving to make way for perplexity. “Who are you?”

He meant to answer, but you suddenly cleared your throat before he could so much as open his mouth.

“Oh, um, I mean… Do you need me for something, sir? Or, rather, monsieur?”

How cute. Were you suddenly worried he was some important figure who shouldn’t be crossed?

“No one you should worry too much about, but if you must know I am Rook Hunt, le chasseur d’amour, at your service.”

“Amour? Huh? Er, it’s nice to meet you, Monsieur Hunt. Oh, right, as for myself,” there’s bewilderment evident on your face but you nod along anyway, introducing yourself as well. For an actor, it’s amusing how you choose to not hide your judgment of him. You also don’t seem to want to answer his previous question, thus Rook decides to change his approach.

“Is this your first show? You looked quite skittish, my—”

“Was it really that obvious?”

Your defenses had dropped quicker than Rook had anticipated, needless worriedness shown in your face, traces of nervousness and the like seeping through your tone and voice. He had wanted to placate you, but instead you had wound up startled, almost like the docile but wild critters he would often come across in the forest.

It is rare for him to think so, but perhaps he had initiated this conversation the wrong way.

“Non, non, I am simply more observant than most.” A minimization of his true abilities, but that was unimportant to the current situation. “But you have no reason to fret, oui? Mistakes can be avoided and skills can be improved, but you’ll be fine as long as you continue to carry one thing through each and every performance of yours.”

“...Which is?”

“Fire,” he responds, “blazing, burning, fire— in your heart, and in your soul, and in your spirit. Set the stage alight and dance in its flames, so that with just a glimpse the audience may ignite.”

“Fire,” you repeat, as if to taste the word for yourself, to see if the word burns your tongue, “do you think I have that?”

“Oui! I speak from experience, of course, for your fire has enraptured me and set me ablaze.” Rook, ever honest when it comes to this hobby he adores, does not lie. You may have a ways to go but you have it— it is your friend, dormant within, and what he wants is for you to not simply recognize it but to embrace it with all that you have.

“Even talking to you now, as you are, as you begin to recover your pep and passion, I find myself melting-”

“Okay! I think I’ve heard enough for tonight!” You wave your arms around wildly. “My castmates might be looking for me, so… you know.”

Rook could pout at how often you interrupt him, not just once or twice but thrice, but he accepts it all the same. He has other people left to give his praises to, after all! The other actors, the costume designers, the pit orchestra… Oh, he simply couldn’t wait!

“It’s a pity to bid you farewell so soon, but if it can’t be helped then I shall-”

“Wait- oh, sorry, I keep interrupting you, don’t I?” Rook couldn’t help but laugh at that, not that he had any plans of preventing himself in the first place. At least you were self-aware. “I just wanted to say thank you. You were right— it was my first show, and I knew I made a few mistakes… but thanks for cheering me up, even though I’m just an ensemble-”

“Oh, but there is no just, is there?” It’s his turn to interrupt you, and he smiles while doing so. “Just like anyone else, you’re still bringing this story to life. If you were just someone, you wouldn’t be trying to work so hard, would you?”

“Well, no-”

“Then continue to work hard no matter what, and if you want to expand your horizons and do even more roles, work even harder. There is nothing quite like the beauty of someone dedicating themselves to whatever it is they’re doing.” With that, he bids you adieu, tipping his hat in farewell. “I hope to see you on stage once more, little bird.”

“A while ago, that petit you said… little bird… hold on… monsieur!”

Before he fully turns away he manages to catch you blink your pretty little eyes once, then twice, and at thrice he knows the realization has finally sunk in. He can’t help but grin widely, sneaking one more look at your expression, before leaving to chase after another member of the cast. Yes, he would definitely like to see you again soon.

When he had received the playbill for tonight’s show, it was a delightful surprise to see your name printed on the paper. To be casted in another show, how wonderful to see you continue reaching towards an inspiring dream! Ahh, if only he had known you were performing tonight, he would’ve prepared a rose, no, a bouquet to congratulate you!

And, oh, congratulate you he must! After that splendid performance of yours? He could shed a tear or two at your zest and zeal, beautiful, simply magnifique! It is why when the curtain falls he cannot help but jump up from his seat to look for you, a thousand words that cannot help themselves from wanting to pour all out at once.

“Monsieur Hunt!” He spots you before you spot him, but you greet him before he does you. Oh, even after you’ve long left the stage you are simply beautiful, residual gleam and glow from the high of the show. He would not deny there was some beauty, a heartaching beauty in seeing you upset, but you are simply radiant as you beam at him. A bit of that fire has simmered out, likely out of exhaustion, but your beauty is blinding in the way the sun is, and what is the sun if not a ball of fire?

Gas. Plasma. It’s a big ball of gas and plasma, but he’ll push scientific accuracy aside for poetic imagery.

“Le petit oiseau remembers me? Who uses the language of love to address me? Had I perhaps come across a shooting star, and if not perhaps a four leaf clover, for how could such fortune be bestowed upon me? A hunter of love I may be, but still a humble man who is simply undeserving, who falters at-”

“Sorry, I’ll be interrupting you again,” you had the courtesy of informing him this time, laughing softly as you pulled him elsewhere, “because I’m not sure if you’re allowed to be here backstage, so let’s go somewhere more hidden.”

He was, actually. Allowed backstage, that is. With how long he’s possessed his hobby, he’s managed to be well-acquainted with a few people in the world of stage plays, including the director of the show you were in. He wasn’t going to tell you that, though, deciding it would be more entertaining to let you have your fun with this little secret.

“Oh my, merely our second encounter and we’re already having a clandestine rendezvous?”

“Monsieur,” you sound a little exasperated this time, miniscule warmth disappearing as the tips of your fingers escaped the grasp of his gloved hand, “and for the record, I called you that because you seemed to prefer it, given how you talk. Should I just stick to sir or mister?”

“You may call me as you wish, for whichever way you choose to address me, they all carry the sweetness of honey, the brilliance of silver bells, the melody of a song— and oh, how melodious was the song you sang tonight! I’ve heard you sing in a chorus before, but to hear your voice singled out was simply a gratifying experience like no other!”

You looked more than a little embarrassed at his proclamations, feigning a cough into the palm of your hand. He wonders if your cheeks, or at the very least your ears, have heated up. “I had five lines in that song… It wasn’t that big of a deal…”

“Oh but it was, wouldn’t you say? That’s five more lines than last time and, if I do say so myself, your fiery flames of passion burned five times brighter as well! Fire no longer a simple, common red, but a dazzling white! Très bien! You should be more proud, mon ami!”

“Mon ami? Really, all this time I thought you were flirting! So you really just talk like that to everyone?" You said, more to yourself than him, with a shake of your head, and Rook had to wonder if he was simply romanticizing the scenario in his head or if you were actually even the slightest bit disappointed.

Is there one scenario he prefers over the other?

“But you’re right… again. Seriously, are you some type of expert in theatre? Actor? Director? Maybe a stage manager or PA? Professional critic? Ugh, it’s the last one, isn’t it? You’re here during opening night, and last time, too…”

“Non, no professional!” he laughed as he watched you go from skittery to relieved, like a nervous prey accidentally caught in one of his traps only to be released. How cute! “I suppose you could call me a critic, though I much prefer to be called an appreciator of the arts of the stage.”

“So you heavily analyze shows?”

“Yes, exactly. You’ll find it very rare for me to have missed a detail. I could even recite to you every scene which you appeared in the background of.”

“I see…”

You were muttering something underneath your breath, something unintelligible considering even he couldn’t understand what exactly you were saying, but when you decidedly looked up from the ground to him your eyes had shone with resolve. It was a determination the origins of which he had no clue of, but one he could admire all the same.

“Then could you tell me? What you think about the show? As in depth as possible?” you suddenly asked. “It doesn’t have to be about me, it can be in general! I just, you know, want to listen to what you have to say.”

“Really? You want to listen to me talk?” Rook found himself a little stunned at that. He was well aware he was quite the talkative person, truly an understatement, and that most people tried to find a way to either get away from him or to stop him from talking on and on and on and-

“I must warn you, my friend, it might take me hours to simply finish talking about the first act. Perhaps, if we were to discuss the play in its entirety, right up to what I think about the play in comparison to previous adaptations I’ve watched in the past, it might take me until tomorrow’s sunset.”

“...Then give me your phone number. It’s getting late, so you can tell me all about it through text.”

A phone number? A phone number! That was unexpected, but so, so very interesting. It was more than clear to him now that you were just as worthy a person to observe, or rather get to know, even off the stage. If you were responding in kind instead of merely tolerating his presence or chasing him away, that must have meant you felt similarly, no?

“Fufufu. The little bird has gotten quite assertive, oui? Ahh, but that side of you is quite beautiful too, is it not?”

“Monsieur Hunt, has anyone ever told you you give mixed signals?”

“Not exactly. I’m a fickle person who grows absolutely enraptured at anything beautiful, and most people seem to know so.”

Your expression turned pensive as soon as he said that, but before he could ask if something had been wrong you turned to look at him once more, seemingly excited over something.

“So do I fit in that standard? A person you find beautiful?”

“But of course!” Had his words failed to convey as much if you had to even ask? Next time for sure, he will have to do better. In fact, he should begin preparing a few poems just to really instill it in your mind.

“Then that’s good enough for me!”

It’s rare for Rook to be at a loss for words but he finds himself in that position. It was only for a few seconds, yes, but that was a few seconds more than usual. The problem is that Rook can’t quite pinpoint if it was because of the uncertainty of your intentions, or the bright smile that had returned on your features, blooming even without the light of the sun.

It’s adorable, Rook thinks, how you refuse to tell him what your latest role is. When you tell him you successfully bagged another one for a new play he’s so excited for you, excited to see you on stage once more, but you refuse to tell him any details whatsoever! Oh it’s excruciating, having to wait over two months to find out—

Or he could just search it up. If you, as he expected based on your cryptic messages, achieved your goal of getting a role with even more speaking lines than the last, he’d probably be able to spot your name next to what character you’d be playing.

But there was no fun in that, was there? Clearly you had wanted to surprise him, so he would not let your efforts go to waste! He will let himself be surprised.

In turn, he would be surprising you by not telling you when he planned on showing up— he just hoped it would be a day you were actually there instead of being replaced by an understudy. He would more than likely find a way to enjoy the production nonetheless, but as a fourth year he was making a considerable trip just to see you, so he at least hoped the stars would align and… on second thought, Rook might not want to rely on fate, at least not this time.

Fate was romantic but she loved missed connections as much as she loved connecting people.

Opening night. It was at an inopportune time, a weekday where he would have been tired from attending to his studies, and the day after would be filled with research once more, but he could do it for you, he thinks.

You have grown to be a most dear… You are someone he is very endeared to.

He still won’t tell you when he’ll be there, but he certainly was going to up the ante when appearing before you. By that he meant preparing a bouquet of the nicest flowers he could find for sale that day, a bouquet he planned to present to you as soon as the curtain call finished. After all, it was in poor form to give it to you on stage, when the attention should be on you and your fellow actors rather than him.

Besides, he thinks the reactions you have backstage, particularly when you’re not holding back at all, are just as lovely to look at as the ones on stage, if not more so.

“Oi! Your boyfriend’s here! With flowers for you!” Someone, the dance captain of the show, if he remembered right, called for you.

Unsurprisingly, more than one head turned to look at him. He doesn’t blame them, not at all, it is only natural to be curious about the affairs of your fellow castmate, someone you spent weeks practicing with for hours on end, although…

“Oh, that’s the boyfriend you’re always texting? The one you were talking about a while ago?”

“Haha… hah. Already told you, not my boyfriend…”

“Right, okay, not that I believe you, but if you’re serious then I can go for him, right?”

“I’m sorry?!”

Rook stood there, shirt still nicely pressed and flowers still in hand, watching you bicker with a few of your castmates with fond amusement, one he knows must show on his face. He could wait for a minute or two longer, especially if that meant getting to see more exciting expressions out of you. How could it be that even something like frustration looked beautiful on you?

“Sorry for taking so long, Rook,” at some point you decided to just make your escape by running up to him abruptly, tugging on the long sleeve of his shirt. “We can talk now, just ignore them! Please ignore them, actually, unless it’s play-related. If it’s me-related and they’re not complimenting me, ignore it. Although maybe we should move somewhere? What if we get eavesdropped on? Maybe around-”

“Let’s have dinner together, then.”

You paused in your tracks, head tilted sideways, and Rook took that chance to place the bouquet into your free and waiting arms. Thankfully you don’t drop it, your hands quickly moving to hold the present properly.

“Huh?”

“Is it so surprising? Or do you have plans to celebrate with other people? If so, I-”

“No, no! No one! There’s no one! We can get dinner!” you interrupted, rather hastily in fact. It was quite endearing that you were making sure he wouldn’t be offended whatsoever. “I was just, you know, I thought you might want to stay back a bit more. Talk to the others, like you usually do? I was for certain you were going to serenade the cast with a few poems…”

Oh.

That… had not even crossed his mind, actually. Not to say he wasn’t appreciative of the production as a whole because he was! Everyone was spectacular, especially for an original as compared to an approved and well-loved adaptation, and everyone was absolutely beautiful on stage, but…

“I simply couldn’t, not when it’s opening night! I don’t want to take up their time, especially when I already got to spend 2 hours admiring them from my seat!” he said as he led the both of you towards the exit. “Plus, in exchange, I get to spend more time with my favorite performer of the night!”

“You don’t have to butter me up, Rook. If you want an autograph, or maybe a prop after the show closes, I’ll get it for you. I’ll even relay, word for word, every praise you want to give them. As long as mine’s the longest!” you winked at him afterwards, and oh, when it comes to you his luck has been spectacular, hasn’t it? You showed him your charming side just like that? For free? Without him having to lay down any traps or bait? No having to catch you off-guard?

“But was I really your favorite? Come on now… I know I actually got to sing one full solo song this time, a whole four minutes of it, but-”

“Of course you are!” he exclaimed, loud enough for him to spot a head or two turn towards your direction. “Do you think me a liar now? Oh, what pain you’ve come to bring me, after all I’ve done for you!”

He watches you let out a breathy exhale, a barely hidden laugh hidden underneath as you roll your eyes at him. Unfortunately for you, there’s no hiding that smile of yours, the truth of your emotions shining through teeth threatening to show themselves and quivering corners of the lips.

“Dramatic as ever! I was just making sure. It’s fine if you have a different character you like more!” So you said, but there was a certain skip to your step just now, like the beginning steps to a dance with nothing but the street and a lamp as your setting, and something told him if he had mentioned anyone else as his favorite he would not have gotten to see that just now.`

“Tell me, would I have given you those flowers if you weren’t my favorite?”

“Absolutely! You got them for me because I’m, as you would say, ton ami, and not because you knew what role I was going to play. You could have totally not liked the character, no matter how well I played them.”

Now that simply wasn’t true! Call it favoritism because that was exactly what it was. He was no professional to score and rank each actor, so was it not natural to simply enjoy and find your favorite person among the cast the most captivating?

“I’ve liked you in every role you’ve played so far, even when two out of the three were ensemble parts!” He made sure to remind you of that fact. He was a fan of yours from the very beginning, why would that change so suddenly? Why else would he come all this way for you? He would support you to the ends of the earth, especially when it was clear that you were improving your craft day by day, that slowly but surely you were steps closer to fulfilling your dream.

“I’d get you those flowers regardless of what role you played. No matter who you were, I knew you'd be beautiful up there.”

“Rook, you are so…!” you groaned into the palm of your hand, “ugh, never mind, I don’t have the words for it!”

He chuckled, “That’s alright. I’m certain I have more than enough words for the both of us. Now, will you let me praise your performance properly? I’ve been waiting to do so all night.”

“Do you not get tired of doing that?” you asked, your previously playful mood settling down into something much calmer and subdued, matching the mostly quiet night outside. “Praising me practically every day… or just, praising everyone, I guess.”

Did he get tired? No, not really— rather, he would say it was something that energized him. Finding beauty came to him easily, saying so was down to his honesty, but actually having his compliments received so gleefully, eagerly, and maybe even a little greedily by you… he could not get enough of it. More than seeing you on stage, it was your warm reception to his words that had him coming back to tell you over and over again.

“Well, I like hearing it, so I’m glad you do so. No one and nothing motivates me the way you do!” Your laughter comes like a cool breeze on a hot and humid day, one he instinctively relishes because he knows it’ll be gone quickly, like a flash of lightning. “Speaking of which, I haven’t thanked you yet, have I?”

Thanked him? What for? The dinner either of you had yet to partake in?

“Come closer for a bit.” A huntsman, for the most part, must always stay calm and collected when their prey crosses their path, no matter how exciting, but he cannot stop his heart from racing at the sight of you nearing him. Just what are you doing now?

He closes his eyes, just for a few seconds. You chuckle slightly in return, before pressing a kiss on both of his cheeks— no, not even quite a kiss, but the barely there press of your cheeks against his own, almost like a ghost. A social kiss. A belated greeting. Nothing special.

Except it is special. It is, to him. It’s the first time you’ve ever done anything like that, and firsts are always special aren’t they?

“I know you’re busy, so thanks for coming all this way to see the show. You’re probably one of the few people who bother coming to watch me… you’re easily the most thoughtful friend I’ve ever had.”

It’s common for people to heat up when discussing a lover, or confessing to a crush, but it might have been Rook’s first time to see someone bloom so daintily, not so much in color but more in movement, lips etching upwards so gently while talking about friendship.

“My dear friend, Monsieur Rook…”

Rook had not wanted to do anything, say anything knowing how his words could easily be interpreted in certain ways, so he stayed silent. You don’t follow up on it, moving on to talking about something else, so you’re okay with his rare lack of a reply.

Or maybe, just like your skills in theatre, you’d gotten better at hiding things from even someone as perceptive as him.

He is a fickle, fickle man who pursues anyone beautiful, yet when his epitome of beauty stands in front him, merely a few steps away and willing to be caught, he cannot bear to take it.

Rook’s running after a prey who cannot be caught— time. If sorrow was always cruel but not ever present, and fate was always present but not always cruel, then time… time was always cruel, but she was most cruel when she wasn’t present.

Closing night. Closing night. Had it really taken him until closing night?

You called him opening night. You refused to show your face on video but you called him, said it was the first thing you did after the curtain call. You said you looked for him instinctively in the crowd and behind the stage, forgetting that he told you he wouldn’t be able to make it. Or maybe you thought he said it to surprise you, just like he did last time.

But he isn’t there, and you tell him it’s okay when he apologizes. He believes you when you say you’re fine, believes that you’re happy because you think you did the best you could, but belief isn’t enough to stop the ache for good.

You don’t sound hurt but you do sound lonely, and though he tries he finds it’s different assuring you when he’s not there in person. He wishes he could praise you too, but praise based on assumptions was hardly ever as good as those based on experiences, and he thinks you wouldn’t appreciate them as much.

He tells you he’ll make it next time and you believe him, outlandish he may be but dishonest he is not, but the one week turns two turns three and he still can’t make it. You understand, you tell him as much with nothing but sympathy in your voice, and again he believes you, but you stop asking if he’ll come see the new show, or really just you, soon after.

It’s frustrating, Rook thinks, and he’s hardly ever frustrated so the discomfort is disconcerting.

He’s not obligated to attend, you told him, friends or otherwise. You wouldn’t be much of a friend if you tried to force him into coming when he was too busy, you said, you wouldn’t be much of a friend if one show was all it took to break your connection to him.

But Rook’s never done any of this out of obligation. It’s not out of obligation that he visits you when he can, or that he praises you for every little thing; it’s definitely not out of obligation that he books a ticket for closing night even though he’s not sure he can make it, not out of obligation that he moves around his schedule just to make sure he can make it, not out of obligation when he finds himself dressed to the nines and most certainly not obligation when he asks to see you backstage.

It is not obligation, because Rook is a man who runs primarily on wants and desires, but it is neither out of want nor desire that he reaches for your hand either. It is need.

You don’t pull him closer, but you whisper his name, “Rook,” and he knows you want him to stay.

He speaks your name in return and you look a little stunned. “Huh, no more petit oiseau? Not even mon ami?”

“Neither really fit you anymore,” he tells you honestly, “the heart chooses the name, and it is the heart that chooses to let it go… But do you happen to like that nickname? Little bird?”

“I suppose it’s more sentimentality than the nickname itself,” Rook understands, those were his first words to you, weren’t they? “But does the heart have a new nickname for me?”

That was the thing— the heart didn’t know what to do when it came to you.

You were, by far, one of the most confusing subjects he has ever had the pleasure of observing, which was amusing a thought considering you were quite honest, if not obvious, about your attitude and feelings towards him— or feelings towards most things, but that was a topic for another time.

At this point, Rook has accepted that he is more than merely enraptured by your beauty, by you. Enchanted might have been the word for it. But was enchantment the last step before falling in love?

Aimer. To love, what is it to love? Is the beating of his heart enough a tell-tale sign?

After a minute passes, he chooses to respond, “The heart does not know yet, still troubled with indecision,” he calls it the heart, but he knows the heart has long chosen. It was the mind all along, the knowledge of the type of person that he was, preventing him from reaching a conclusion.

Was this even about nicknames anymore?

You let out a quiet laugh, and it’s only with your lack of volume that Rook remembers the two of you are still backstage, although when are the two of you not? He’s only grateful, for the sake of your potential embarrassment and his unwillingness to be seen even the least bit vulnerable, that the two of you are somewhere more secluded.

“Then the heart will eventually think of something. I mean, I remember you talking about what you called some of your schoolmates. Roi so and so, or Chevalier something… Those all sound kind of cool, right?”

You talk a bit more about his naming conventions, but Rook… he isn’t really there anymore.

“You’ve always been beautiful from the times I’ve seen you, especially on opening night, but there’s a certain kind of beauty to seeing you pour your heart out to the audience as this character one last time. You were simply magnificent, incroyable,” he closes his eyes as he says it, as though he had burned that sight of you behind his eyelids so he could relive it again and again, “but rather than satisfaction, a part of me wishes I got to see you multiple times and not just tonight.”

Your hand is still wrapped around his and he feels it clench in his grasp, “Rook, you know more than anyone else how much I appreciate you coming to see me, your company in general, but I wouldn’t have gotten mad if you didn’t.”

“I know you wouldn’t,” you’re already looking at him when he opens his eyes to turn to you, and your gaze sends shivers down his spine despite not being fiery or passionate or anything of the sort. Even now you look at him with nothing but affection, and though he’s undeserving he cannot help but etch that into his mind as well. “But the point still stands. I wish I got to see you more.”

There’s something raw and honest about how he says it, and you must realize it isn’t simply about watching you on stage anymore.

“...I’ll admit, I was disappointed, upset, and a few other petty things I’m a little embarrassed to recall,” you began to say, laughing a little at yourself, “but I just pushed away those feelings. It was stupid, and I didn’t really, you know, have the right to feel that way.”

He furrowed his brows, “Non, you don’t need the right to feel, no matter how stupid you think it is! Feelings are… complicated matters that just happen, that’s just the way they are.”

“Guess so,” you agreed rather easily, though there’s a certain shakiness to your voice that he knows you’re trying to hide, “when I saw you in the crowd a while ago, I was so excited to see you I think I almost broke character. I thought I was going to cry and I felt dumb but… ugh, I don’t know, a part of me though you might have lost interest in me, so it’s… yeah, you know.”

Rook knows you don’t want to make him feel bad for something out of his control, hence your hesitance to let him know how you feel, but the image, even just the idea of you feeling upset due to him has him in shambles. It’s one thing to see you cry on stage, but the expected ache in his heart at seeing that is far different from the wrench in his gut at even a mere somber look in your eyes.

It’s not hideous, you could never be, but he hates it all the same.

If possible, he’d like it if he never made you upset ever again.

“I could never lose interest in you,” he says. For him to lose interest would equate to him not finding beauty in you, and there was nothing more impossible in the world than that. “I’ll always be your number one fan.”

“So you’ll continue watching any plays I’m in, right?”

“Does that even have to be said? Of course I will!”

It’s a sentence with four words, with none of his signature flowery language, but you light up all the same. No, not quite the same— you’re smiling and it is as if he’s on fire, and he knows if he could manifest that flame from within and lift it up high to the sky it would rival the sun with its intensity.

If there’s nothing more he’d hate in the world than seeing you hurt, then there’s nothing he finds beautiful than seeing you happy.

Aimer. Amour. It might have been simple and obvious and crystal clear to anyone else and he laughs at the thought, but it doesn’t matter anymore, does it? That it took him nearly two years to be sure of it?

The timing is hardly right so he doesn’t say anything, merely fixing his hold on your hand to hold it more delicately, as if he was holding your heart. The both of you can wait a little longer. Rook knows what you are to him now, it’s amour.

Rook isn’t known to stick to just one place at a time, and his travels have gotten more frequent since graduating, but when you tell him you want to send him something through mail he delays any and all trips for you. He can stay in one place for a little longer if it means what he thinks it means.

There are two things in the envelope and though he knows what the other one is, recognizes the shape and the width even against the envelope, he takes the time to take in your ink-written words— every stroke and line and dot.

The paper is scented, too, clearly spritzed with some cologne or perfume and though you’ve never worn it, he would have remembered if you had, it reminds him of you all the same.

With each line he reads he feels himself trembling in excitement, exemplified by finally pulling out the present you had prepared for him.

A ticket to opening night.

He would get to see you again.

When he sees the date he promptly cancels all his plans, for that day, the day before, and at least three days after— admittedly, Rook just knows he’ll be too focused on you to the point that he’ll need to watch the play a second time just to pay attention to everyone else.

Fickle he could be at times, he’s always wanted to become a man faithful to his own heart, just like the huntsman of tales was, and though you’re quite a distance away his heart lies with you; it doesn’t matter where you end up performing, because what else can he do if not chase you?

Chasing you has always seemed easy, and he thought capturing you might be as well, but then he sees you up there, and…

He’s known for a while that you’ve long moved past being a fledgling baby bird, and even back then he’d already found you wonderful, but now… Now your passion is searing, a trail of scorching fire left in your wake, and you’re soaring the vast skies like the most radiant phoenix, one he must climb up high to even touch the wings—

No. Rook stands corrected because he thinks you’ve done more than soar the vast skies. His little songbird has become the stars themselves. Stars are a whole other entity than any beast he’d ever laid eyes on, an entity close enough to see but much too far to touch. A hunter can capture a bird just fine, but could his arrow of love reach a star?

He isn’t sure, but when you catch his eyes before the curtain comes to fall, he thinks he might give it a try.

When you drag him somewhere backstage there are a thousand things he could say or do. He could give you the flowers he’d grown and preserved just for you. He could spill his endless praises for you and you alone, the poems forming in his head by the minute simply waiting to be said. He could take you in his arms and sway you around, humming a love ballad the both of you know. He could even stop you in your tracks and lock his lips with yours, uncaring of who would be there to see.

He does none of those things, at least not until a little later. Instead, he asks you a question.

“How could one such as I obtain a star without plucking it from the sky where it now resides?” he wonders if you understand, and when you turn to look at him with wonder in your eyes he knows you do.

“You wish upon it,” your reply is quiet, as if you were telling him a secret. “Whisper that you want it to be yours, and it will give itself to you.”

There’s still much he wants to confess and flowers may bloom in his chest for how he aches to speak of his love for you, but he has the whole night and, if you’ll allow it, the day after, and the one after that, and the one after that, and for as long as you’ll have him.

“Thank you, mon étoile.”

“Your star?”

“Oui, my star, mon étoile.”

#rook hunt x reader #twst x reader #rook hunt #twisted wonderland x reader #twst x you #twst imagines #twst #twisted wonderland #nathya twst writing

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sonderastrology · 4 years

Text

🌙🌈✨Astrology Notes✨☄️🌟

*Based on things I’ve noticed about different placements as a Leo sun/Virgo moon/Capricorn rising... these notes may not resonate for everyone but that’s just the way the cookie crumbles baby* MADE BY SONDERASTROLOGY

🧿I see the people I’m close with more as their moon sign with a dash of their sun, almost as if the placements were reversed. This is because the moon sign is sort of hidden at first whereas the sun sign is the core energy. When you befriend or love someone, the moon sign (emotions, mental processes) is slowly uncovered and in my opinion, takes over the general energy of the sun. Of course, all signs, houses, and aspects are important... this is just the way I look at it idk.

🧿Everyone needs a best friend with the same rising sign as your moon sign... they just *get* you.

🧿Also having friends with the same mars sign as you is so important! They can hype you up like no other and vice versa.. your vibes just click.

🧿I’ve noticed that people with opposite sun signs but rising signs in the same element take AMAZING pictures together. For example; A Pisces sun w a Leo rising and a Virgo sun w a Sagittarius rising would make eachother look bomb in photos.

🧿Pisces, cancer, Virgo, and libra placements are proned to being stalked and hit on by weird men... I’ve seen it too many times, protect yourselves!!!

🧿People always tell me that they were intimidated by me at first or even “scared”, and that I give off a bitchy vibe. My placements that indicate this?Capricorn rising (Uranus, Neptune, Lilith in 1st house), Leo venus and Virgo moon in my 8th house, Scorpio MC, Scorpio and Pluto in my 11th house. Other placements that can have this effect: Aries, Scorpio, Aquarius, and Earth signs in personal planets/MC/Rising signs. Personal planets aspecting mars, Pluto, saturn, sometimes Neptune, and Lilith. Mars/Aries, Saturn/Capricorn Pluto/Scorpio in the 1st, 2nd, 7th, 10th, 11th house. 8th house placements and Chart Ruler in the 8th, 10th, and maybe 12th house. There’s definitely a whole lot more placements not just these.

🧿Aquarius/Air dominant people (esp mixed with fire) along with an array of other placements I’m sure, have a VERY hard time with forced structure and routine... it brings out their rebellious nature.My best friend from high school is an Aquarius Sun Gemini Moon (with an Aries mars), and she DESPISED going to school for 7 hours a day, she just couldn’t do it. She would skip school all the time and eventually enrolled in night school. Same went for my other friend who was a Sag sun Gemini moon, both of them would act TF out in class. They’d fight with teachers, the principle, other students... and I really believe it was due to the forced schedules and the power dynamic between teachers and students in high school. The Aquarius sun person is my best friend today, and she’s one of the smartest people I know. Just because you weren’t “good” at school does NOT mean you aren’t smart. Fuck the system is an air sign BRAND.

🧿I’ve noticed A LOT of Gemini sun, moon, and rising people have light shades of hair... mostly blonde or dirty blonde.

🧿I’ve met 4 people born on the 28th of the month and all of them are incredibly beautiful... no matter what sign. Same goes for July Leo’s although I’ve noticed that they’re more arrogant and self centered than August Leo’s who are more generous and outgoing

🧿Your Jupiter sign can help you work with law of attraction and manifestation more effectively. If you have Jupiter in an air sign, try manifesting things by; writing it down, saying it out loud, visualization, and meditation. If you have Jupiter in a fire sign; manifest under the sun, write out a plan even if it’s unrealistic. If you want money, hold even a penny or a dollar and act as if it’s the amount you want. Act as if everything you want is already yours. If you have Jupiter in an earth sign; manifest while doing yoga or on a walk. Manifest outside or read/listen to positive affirmations. Jupiter in a water sign; manifest using crystals and rocks with guidance from tarot. Manifest through the arts and hobbies; draw what you want or make a song. Something where you can use your creativity. *All of these methods for manifestation are effective for all of the signs I just think that certain ways can help certain signs more*

🧿Based off of people I’ve met, air risings aren’t as friendly and bubbly as you’d think they’d be when you first meet them. Even their vibe seems nervous and closed off at first; standing with arms crossed, shoulders inward, I dont know just sort of shy. Once they open up a bit more then their weird side comes out and they become more goofy and carefree. I think air signs of all placements struggle deeply with anxiety even though they are often portrayed as outgoing and quirky, which they are but a thin viel covers it. No matter what, air placements keep an open mind and I’ve always felt like I could be myself around them.

🧿Libra placements are known for disliking confrontational disputes but I’ve noticed that these are the same people to whisper nasty things under their breathe when you start to walk away from an argument... they have you whip back around like “do you have something to say?!”

🧿I’ve seen this before and imo it’s true! Signs in the 8th house rule addictions... I saw someone post that having a water sign in the 8th house could indicate addictions to liquid, more specifically; caffeine and alcohol. Being addicted to something is in other words creating a bond with it- water signs are naturally bonded with liquid so it makes sense that their prone to being addicted to them. Water signs occupying the 8th house might always drink water or have water with them. Since the 8th house also rules finances to an extent, most of their money might go to coffee, drinks, beach vacations etc. For fire signs over the 8th house, they could be addicted and/or spend a lot of money on smoking, spicy foods, or anything that gives them a rush; rollercoasters, haunted houses, skydiving or even drugs like esctacy/cocaine... anything that gives them that thrill or lights a match in their stomach. Earth signs in the 8th house may be addicted to physical things; money, work, food, looks,... things that give them value or that call on their senses and ego. They could hoard/collect items such as coins, cars, beauty products, etc., or generational items passed down... due to bonding with things that they can bulid/see/show off overtime. They are very attached to the physical because as an earth sign it feeds their ego and value, like a tree growing in soil. Money could mostly go to eating, gambling, plastic surgery, materialistic stuff. They could be addicted to buying things and selling them for a higher price. Air signs occupying the 8th house could point to spending a lot of money on or being addicted to technology or all things ‘relevant’. These individuals might be addicted to their phones/social media and the attention they get from it. These people are always posting stories throughout the day or online shopping or even just browsing different apps. They’re addicted to getting information via books, the internet, and through talking to other people... oftentimes these individuals are very good at making money through the internet (depending on other placements ofc). They may spend a lot of money on books, new gadgets, music, tattoos and puzzles. These people are addicted to all things new! They have a thirst for knowledge and experiences and will seek it out effectively. 🧿When I look at a person’s birth chart, whatever gender, I especially pay close attention to their Mars sign and house. To me, Mars represents the overall energy and vibe a person gives off and the house placement is where it’s most naturally acted out. For example ; Aries Mars in the 6th house. Aries Mars person would give off a hyper, motivated, impulsive energy. Physically this could manifest as shaking their leg while sitting, quick movements,standing/walking instead of sitting down, gives off a more to the point and carefree attitude (keep in mind all of this is affected by many other aspects and placements in a chart). Being in the 6th house, ruling day to day routine, health, how we act at work, etc., this means that the Aries Mars characteristics are more prominent during work and day to day rituals (quicker to learn, effectively performing daily tasks, gets shit done, or they could get into arguments at work easily, constantly rush around, might be stubborn about seeing a doctor/health professional, might be more prone to getting headaches at work or in general) again, depending on the rest of the chart

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floraltypes · 3 years

Text

Ohshc Headcannon

OHSHC - Y/n in a uncomfortable situation head-cannons

saw someone else do something similar and wanted to put my own spin on it :))

TW: creepy males making y/n uncomfy

gender neutral x host club members

Haruhi 💗

You’ve decided to go visit the girl while she’s working.

She’s busy talking to one of her guests so you decided to wait and sit at one of the couches

One of the men quickly walked over, he was here to drop off some shipments but thinks that now you’re a new host/hostess

He sits across from you, just staring for a moment before striking a conversation

“So, you seem like a cutie, are you new here?”

Your eyes widen a bit, taken aback by his presence and how blunt he was

“I’m not apart of this club,” You awkwardly chuckle, hoping that Haruhi is almost finished because now you are starting to feel uncomfortable

“Good, good, that just means I don’t have to share you with anyone,” They wink, standing up and now sitting besides you

Haruhi, stops her conversation with the girls, hearing that awkward chuckle of yours her head turns

At first, she just thinks your talking with one of the boys, one telling a inappropriate joke and you just trying to be kind

But soon realizes that’s not the case, and excuses herself

Haruhi doesn’t exactly feel jealous, just a bit confused, and frankly worried

She can tell by your apparent facial expressions that you’re also worried yourself

Finding a empty tea tray, she grabs it, and rushes over with it, then taking a seat besides you

“Y/n!” She smiles, handing you a tea cup, not even filled. “I’m glad you waited for me, sorry to waist your time,”

You’re overjoyed she’s here, the man sending you some interesting glares and you didn’t want to cause a scene

“I’ll do better at watching the time. Um, i’m sorry you don’t look familiar,” She looks at the man while taking one of your hands and intertwining it with hers

“Oh, you were waiting for someone?” He asks you. “You should have told me, it was like you were leading me on,” he scoffs, standing up and leaving

Haruhi looks at you with a small smile

“What a jerk, would you like me to make some actual tea now?”

The both of you laugh, you feeling much more comfortable with her being by your side

Tamaki 💞

He was so excited to spend today with you!

You didn’t feel like doing much, just wanting to maybe go to a cafe with the man

He had tons of things planned, zoos, cafes, shopping, musicals, etc

If there was something fun, he had it planned for you two to do soon

After spending half a day planning the dates you’d have when you both had off, today the both of you would go to a pet shop

Tamaki always expressed how much he loved animals, ever since he was able to go to one, and it’s something he still enjoys indulging in

The both of you were outside the shop, he had some money almost spilling out of his wallet, prepared to buy some animals

Leaving you to make sure he doesn’t, or at least doesn’t go overboard...

Once inside the worker set up a room for you two to play with the puppy

Unfortunately, today was a busy day and many people were also coming, so you were paired up with another group of guys

They had a harsher look, not being so friendly, and smelled kind of gross

You weren’t one to judge, sometimes, but something about them gave off a weird feeling

“Gosh, aren’t these puppies adorable!” Tamaki beamed, picking up the little dog into his arms, then bringing it up to his face

“Tamaki, you have to share with the rest of us,” You reminded him, taking the puppy from him and placing it on the ground

The man sat on your other side, quickly went to grab the dog, his hand touching yours a bit

“But Y/n, I didn’t get enough time with him,” He whined, shaking your shoulders a bit while the other men stifled chuckles

“Y/n, that’s a nice name,” The man on your side commented, sending a smile

“Um, thanks,” You just messed with your fingers, not looking at him

“So,” The one man tried to start up a conversation with Tamaki, giving his friend the chance to talk to you

Tamaki knew they were trying to do something, so he made sure to keep a eye on you, making sure you felt okay

“You know, we don’t have plans after this, what if you came and hung out with us?” The man asked you, moving closer

“Sweetie! Don’t forget that you promised to go get ice cream with me after. It’s the perfect end to our date,” Tamaki smiled widely, grabbing your arm and standing up “Ah, I think i’ve seen enough puppies for today,” He put a hand on your cheek and kissed your lips. “Bye now!”

Kyoya 🤍

His father was hosting a dinner party tonight

The Ootori group just opened a new high tech hospital, with the helps of your families business

It was great to see both families interacting well, and felt good to have his father like you, even if you didn’t really like him

Kyoya was thankful that his father was okay with you, worried it would affect his opportunity in being the heir eventually

You were all dressed up for the night, told to keep a smile and kind words the whole time

But you were mostly planning on spending it by Kyoya’s side..

Eventually he was moved away because his father wanted to introduce all his children to a potential business partner

Your family did the same, to a different man, one who kind of seemed to take a particular interest in you

“I love your hair,” The older, 40 year old man complimented you, your father just smiling lightly and soon walking away

“I should go find, uh, Kyoya!” You smiled oddly at the older man, about to walk away

“Wait up handsome/beautiful,” The man wrapped his chubby fingers around your wrist, tugging on it, and pulling you to stand right in front of him

You frantically looked around, your father talking to someone else, and the mans smile was fretting away from friendly

Kyoya had just finished talking to some painting company CEO, someone he could care less about

He wanted to use this time to do things with you, talk more, hear about your day maybe, just see your smile and hear your laughter

Luckily he turned around at the right moment, seeing the man yank you back and his facial feature turning to a wicked expression

He quickly, but respectfully, whisked over, titling his glasses down a bit and reaching a hand across your lower back to wrap around your waist, pulling you into his side

“Darling, who is this?” Kyoya asked, seeing your expression change to a grateful one

“Um, I never caught his name....?”

“It’s Toling, from America,” He smiled at you, his ‘smile’ changing when looking at Kyoya. “You have a boyfriend?”

“And your from America?” Kyoya questioned back, not letting you answer his. “What exactly is your position, my father, Ootori, he also told me no one from out of country would be here. Why are you here? I don’t think you were invited, this seems like a appropriate moment to call security, do you agree, dear?” He looked at you

“Yeah, I think so,” You grinned at him, pecking his cheek while the older man ran off towards the front door.

Hikaru 💓

The two of you heard about this new performance group in the area

They weren’t anything professional but still interested you both, maybe being so bad you could make a couple jokes about it

It started off... well interesting to say the least...

You both couldn’t figure out where it was going, what the overall theme of it was, I mean someone spilt their ‘prop’ on the stage floor

It was a disaster in the beginning, the both of you already having jokes in mind, but being respectful to wait till the end to say them

During the performance a hand intertwined with yours, that being Hikaru’s of course

When it was finished, the both of you had no words, just tears?

You didn’t know when they got there, or how the performance all of a sudden changed sad, but it was there

You got up to walk by a concession area, hoping to purchase a pack of tissues

Someone was behind you in line, and you could just feel their gaze on your behind

“Do you have a pack of tissues on hand?” You asked, pulling out some money and the women handing it to you

“Tissues, I could have given you those for free,” The man behind you smiled. “Now, what’s a attractive kid like you doing here?”

“Watching a show, like everyone else,” You motioned with your hand, taking a tissue and wiping your eyes

“You’re a funny one, sparky. How about I treat you to a meal?”

“No, thanks,” You scratched the back of your head, trying to step away, but him just blocking you

“Come on now,” He chuckled, reaching for your arm before you pulled back.

“Y/n, hey, you got them,” Hikaru pushed past him, planting a longer kiss on your lips and swinging his arm to rest over your shoulders. “Do you mind? We’re on a date,” He told the older man, guiding you away from him. “You okay, that man sure was a idiot trying to take you away from me,”

Kaoru 💝

He was honestly super pumped about getting to spend time with just you

He saw how much his stubborn twin could fall in love with Haruhi and become a better person, to mature, he wanted that with someone and that was you

To say he was nervous, was a understatement, this was your guys’s first date and he wanted it to be great

Sure you had been dating for a while, but still

You both decided on just going to a carnival thing in town

Sounded fun and would let you both get loose a bit, chat about life, truly have a break from everything and everyone

(not everyone, the club was secretly there making sure it went great)

After a long day, and many rides, Kaoru went to go order some food for the both of you while you waited on the bench

“Is this seat taken?” A man around your age questioned, you nodded you head no, and moved over on the bench to give him some space

“Go ahead,”

“Thanks, wow, uh your eyes are really pretty,” He complimented, taking a sip of his drink

“Oh, thanks?” You shyly smiled, tapping you finger on the bench to a beat, waiting for Kaoru to come back

The man kept asking random questions about yourself though, like ‘how old are you’ ‘what do you think of the weather today’ ‘did you like that ride over there?’ it was awkward for you to answer

Kaoru had just bought the food, starting to walk over, but quickly noticing you chatting with the man

He felt, jealous?

This perfect day he was having, and you’re talking to another guy?!

But wait, he remembered his brother talking about really looking at someone’s actions to truly understand, things they say, really paying attention

He soon realized that you weren’t really liking the conversation, your eyes widening after he spoke, slowly returning the comment to him

He whisked over there, honestly just plopping himself in between the two of you, in the (little) empty space

“I, uh, got the food,” He waved it in the air a bit, not spilling it. “You still hungry, babe?”

“Thank you Kaoru, you’re so kind,” You grinned, kissing him on the lips, his cheeks beating up.

“Mhm, let’s go eat somewhere else, just the two of us!”

Mori 💜

Mori and you weren’t big on doing a bunch of stuff for dates

You both mostly ended up at one another’s house, lounging there, maybe a cafe, who knew

But today he kind of wanted you to watch his practice, he was a bit awkward which you noticed quickly

“Takashi, you okay?” You asked him, tapping his shoulder. “What do you want to do today?”

He wanted to straight out say ‘come watch me practice’ but also didn’t want to be inconsiderate of what you wanted to do

He shrugged his shoulders, cracking his knuckles a bit, hoping you got the sign...?

“You know, I haven’t seen you practiced yet, that could be fun!”

He was beaming inside

So it was set, the two of you planning to meet up at the place he practiced at

It was something nice to do, he worked on his moves for a while, you starting some homework but still watching

One of his partners he worked on some of the skills with sat near you

“Hey, what are you working on?” You two chatted a little, trying to be kind, but you knew he was just trying to speed up the small talk into something more fun, for him

“Anyways, I need to focus,” You told him, standing up and getting prepared to move to a different space

“I think you should take a break, what do you say?”

“I can’t, I have a test tomorrow, need to get this done,”

“Don’t be like that, i’ll help you study after our break,” He was slowly/quickly closing the distance between you two

Mori just finished throwing a man, going to have a drink of water and see how you’re doing, but seeing that ‘opponent’ of his flirting with you?

“Y/n,” He walked up, leaning down to kiss your forehead. “I’m done here, let’s go,”

You nodded, the man across from you shaken up a bit at the stare Mori sent afterwards

Honey 💛

Honey was babbling about a new cafe that popped up, very VERY excited about it

Apparently it was cute, had a nice seating area, and the BEST cake in town

So, of course, he had to decide that himself

(I think he secretly has a blog online dedicated to trying and critiquing cakes)

He thought this would be a perfect time to catch up and share the lovely moment with

You agreed, wanting to spend time with the boy you liked so much, always enjoying sharing treats with him

After school you both headed right there

The place was nice, and a little packed, since it did just open

You both found a little booth in the back, away from the crowd a bit

Honey ordered, almost, one of every cake they sold

“I’ll just try one of his,” You told the waitress, who looked like her eyes were going to pop out of her head due to Honey’s order

“If you want Y/n-chan!” He smiled at you, soon going into a ramble about one place he bought a bad cake at

Usa-chan also wasn’t pleased with the taste of it

Once a few of the pieces came, he gave you Usa-chan to hold, to make sure he didn’t get dirty

You spent the time, watching him eat cake, feeding him cake, eating some yourself, and chatting about the Host Club

He eventually had to go to the bathroom, telling you he would be right back and to watch Usa-chan

While he left another man came up, figuring you were by yourself

“Aren’t these a lot of treats for you?” He asked, secretly judging you

“I’m sure it’s not your place to decide what’s enough for me,” You scoffed, looking the other way

“And you have a stuffed bear? So cute. Let me buy you something else, for a little kid like you,” He placed some money on the table, trying to reach for Usa-chan

major pedo vibes ....

You moved away from him, not letting his dirty hands touch your boyfriends precious bunny

“Aw come on now,”

“Y/n-chan, let’s go now!” Honey walked over, you climbing out the empty way of the booth, standing near Honey

“Aw you’re here with your brother,” The man cooed, standing up himself.

You grabbed Honey’s hand, not wanting to interact any longer with the man, and leaving the cafe

“Sorry Honey, I- I just really don’t-”

There the man was, he followed the both of you out

He was moving to touch/grab you from behind, Honey quickly noticing and pushing you out of the way a bit

Pulling a classic move, the older man was on the ground

The surrounding crowds were in awe, you were still a bit surprised from his strength sometimes

“That’s not nice, please don’t touch Y/n-chan or I’ll have to call the cops!” He smiled at him, soon grabbing your hand and the two of you walking away like nothing happened

#ouran headcanons #ouran kaoru #ouran koukou host club #ouran haruhi #ouran kyoya #ouran hshc #ouran host club #ouran honey #ouran x reader #ohshc fic #ohshc x reader #ohshc headcanons #ohshc fanfiction #ohshc imagines #ohshc haruhi #ouran tamaki #ouran mori

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binunus · 4 years

Text

college bf!eunwoo

a/n I LOVE HIM !! I WOULD LITERALLY RISK IT ALL FOR HIM !! also rip to the disappointing hookup experience I had that made an appearance in this headcanon...yes I’m still angry about it.

→ pairing: eunwoo x f!reader

→ genre: smut, fluff, fwb to lovers

→ tw: hookup culture, mentions of drinking and drug use, implied almost SA, this is a bit heavy compared to the other ones like please be a cautious a little when you’re reading this

→ word count: 5.6k

_______________________________

here we go ladies and gents

i had something completely different planned for this

and it was super angsty and dramatic

but i had a monumental experience last night so I’m changing this up

and okay okay

i usually try to write all my stuff gender neutral but bc of the idea I have for some of this plot, it’s gonna be a female reader

im sorry to all my male identifying loves :(

and back to our regularly scheduled program

cha motherfuckin eunwoo

lee fuckin dongmin

he doesn’t go by dongmin, he prefers to go by eunwoo, only his family calls him dongmin

as soon as he stepped foot into the university, everyone knew him

and I mean everyone

he’s so attractive

but don’t get it twisted, eunwoo’s the humblest, sweetest bean

he gets very embarrassed when people compliment him for his looks

applied for random roommates his first year and got paired up with swimmer!bin

he and bin become besties and end up rooming together their entire college career

major: music performance, specialty in piano

most people (besides those in the music department or astro) would have never thought eunwoo was a music major, especially since he was incredibly smart and athletic too???

usually gets mistaken for a STEM major

often helps the boys (especially rocky and sanha) with their studies

and oof when he tries out for–and makes it into–the basketball team

everyone ???? floored

eunwoo has game on the court...now with dating??? eh not so much

(at least not sober shh)

he’s tried dating before, at least in the first year or so

the basketball team kept trying to set him up with people

but it never got anywhere substantial and eunwoo always trusted astro to really give the vibe check and no one ever passed

and so he settled for hookup culture every now and then

his emotions are guarded :’(

yes he’s very easy to talk to and always so nice and well mannered

but he’s only himself with astro

now, where do you come into this???

you’re a cheerleader

you and eunwoo know each other by association

you cheer for his home games, you’ve been in a couple of classes together, you’ve seen each other at parties

but would you call yourselves friends?? not really

now you know it’s highly unlikely for you to have a lasting boyfriend in college, especially with your affiliation as a cheerleader, so you also opt for hookup culture

less messy feelings, less drama, less commitment, all that fun

so the first time your paths really intertwine with eunwoo is at a party

the basketball team won a big game and they were out celebrating yuh

and ofc since it’s his team, eunwoo popped out

he only really attends parties hosted by the basketball team bc he feels a bit obligated to go LOL but he always brings swimmer!bin for support

and it’s chill bc bin is also an athlete–yes it’s exclusive like that

but this time, bin couldn’t go so it’s just eunwoo hanging with his team

and yes, you can guess it, you and him get partnered up to play beer pong together!

that’s so cliche omg

but ah ha you hear your opponent, one of eunwoo’s teammates say to one of your fellow cheerleaders: don’t worry baby, I’ll carry you through this game

and you cringed a little ugh men

eunwoo turns to you like: ah sorry if we lose, it’s all luck with me. The guys usually pick to play me bc I’ll probably lose. I’ll drink the cups for you though if you want me to.

you get a little fired up, like aw why do they pick on him that’s not fair

you: well I’m not horrible at pong, so let’s try to crush em

he played pretty well ok! you both got balls back twice in a row right in the beginning

your team was on a roll

you and eunwoo won three games back to back

you were feeling a bit bloated and hazy from the beer that you and him had to drink, but you were still pretty self aware

and you and eunwoo were just chilling after playing the games, you two were on a pretty good wavelength and you wanted to continue it after joking around in between plays

alright now obviously you don’t go into these parties just strictly looking for a hookup, you go to have fun and let loose

but if the person and situation arises??? you wouldn’t necessarily turn it down, especially if that person was cha eunwoo

and yeah, eunwoo was entertaining the idea too, it’s been a while since he vibed with someone like he has with you

basically by the end of the night, you brought him back to your place–you’d rather eat shit than hook up at the basketball house, it was messy and musty and just nope

your place was closer than his

and ~yuh~

it was pretty damn good

he didn’t stay the night, bc well this was a hookup, so after you both had your fill it was a casual alright see you around!

oh lord the fuss your cheerleading team gave you at the next practice asking how your hookup with eunwoo was

the news spread like wildfire

eunwoo didn’t hook up very often so every time he did, it was like breaking news

which is honestly a bit fucked up, but seriously this is how college is

alright so your sex drive skyrocketed after fucking eunwoo

you hook up with another guy at one of the following parties

but it didn’t compare to eunwoo rip so you were pretty disappointed

and you were sorta wondering like hm? should you hit him up? but decided against it

and then! you saw him at the gym working out with literally all of astro

bin probably forced the other 4 to come with him and eunwoo sksksksk

and you were like shit why does he look so good

not gonna lie, just in case he was looking over, you tried to make your ass and tits pop out a bit more, you know squats and shit

unfortunately, it caught the attention of other guys at the gym and not eunwoo grrr

and you were literally just planning to stop being a coward and go up and talk to him, but a guy blocked your path

and he was lowkey being very creepy and way too close for your liking

but you weren’t having it, hell no you ain’t a damsel in distress

being a cheerleader taught you how to defend yourself against predatory men

so you were basically telling him to fuck off and leave you alone, but he was being really damn persistent about it

and just as the guy was about to put a hand on you, eunwoo steps in and he’s like: dude, she’s clearly not interested, fuck off.

after a bit of a stare off, the guy leaves and wow you’re face to face with eunwoo again hehehe

his eyes switch from a glare to a soft worried look and he’s like, hey are you okay?

and you’re like a little giddy, maybe also a little bit turned on bc he’s still like fresh from a workout, his hair was brushed back revealing his forehead, his arm muscles were really defined right now, and just he’s so hot?

but you smile nonchalantly, you genuinely could have just slapped the shit out of the guy or kicked him right in the baby factory, but eunwoo stepping in was also a pleasant surprise, you weren’t complaining

you: yeah. I could have handled it, but thanks for helping

and he just grins, your confidence?? attractive

the two of you just like look at each other for a couple seconds and you’re yelling at yourself in your head like don’t cop out this is what you were waiting for !!

you: so...you’re here with your friends?

eunwoo: yeah, me and my roommate forced them to come work out with us haha. did you come by yourself?

you: yeah, I usually work out with my teammates, but I decided to come alone today

eunwoo nods and you see him like look at your neck and you immediately get a bit shy bc you knew there was a hickey there from your last (very disappointing) hookup: you’ve been having fun recently?

your face flushes: the last one was embarrassing really, so honest to god no

eunwoo: why was it embarrassing? if...you don’t mind me asking

you immediately facepalm: no, yeah I don’t mind telling you...ugh, eunwoo I was literally catfished. this guy really talked mad game about his dick and then when I agreed to hook up, he asked me to suck him off and it literally only took him less than ten minutes. and after he came, he just pulled up his pants and said “damn you give really good head” like the fuck? he didn’t even offer to return the favor or anything, and when I asked him “wait, are we gonna fuck?” he just said “maybe next time.” maYbE neXt tiMe?? I was played so hard, you have no idea how pissed I was, eunwoo. and now I have to wait for his dumb fucking hickey to heal so that I can literally just repress that hookup even happened.

his jaw literally dropped: he didn’t give you anything?

you shook your head, you were getting pissed again

eunwoo couldn’t believe his ears, he glances back at astro for a second and then he clears his throat: well...what are you doing after the gym?

you: nothing, just going home and taking a shower. My roommate’s not gonna be home tonight so I’m probably gonna wallow in my sorrows about that hookup again

he laughs: well sounds like you have a fun night planned, but if you want some company?? I’d be more than happy to come over and help you forget about the sad disrespect of that hookup.

who said eunwoo couldn’t flirt ???

and he was thinking about hitting you up again too before but he didn’t wanna seem like a fuckboy or anything

but seeing you defend yourself against the guy?? lowkey was a bit of turn on for him

obviously you agreed hello

eunwoo going up to astro: so uh...imma head out first...I’ll see you guys later. :)

sanha: hyung so scandalous *O*

you and eunwoo fuck again

and after this time, the two of you have a little bit of pillow talk

basically you tell him that fucking him ruined all other guys for you bc he was just that good

and eunwoo usually gets shy from compliments, but his ego with this one??? he felt a bit proud ohohoho

and he’s like: honestly, you’re the only person I’ve fucked in six months, but I gotta agree that our sexual chemistry is pretty good

so where do you two go from there?

friends with benefits baby, full on fuck buddies

you both talk and agree that you two weren’t looking for relationships at the moment, but the sex was good

i’m gonna get into specifics later, but for now a little more plot

obviously, you and eunwoo talk a lot more now that you two were basically fucking each other at least once a week

the guys notice that he’s so much more?? carefree?? less stressed out?? ever since you and him started your little agreement

and they’re already scheming by themselves, like eunwoo would not get into a situation like this unless he trusted you as a person

and at first it was really just, call each other over, have sex, stay for a little bit longer, then leave

neither of you ever stayed the night bc that’s just an unspoken rule

until there was this one party, a group of people were in one of the rooms at the basketball house and they told you to come join them and ~do drugs~

don’t dabble kids, I’m serious

and you were chilling with eunwoo and bin for a bit until they called you over and you were like: wanna try too?

eunwoo and bin didn’t do it obviously, but you were curious so you went and told them you would be back in a bit

eunwoo was worried about you, bin could see it from a mile away

he kept glancing back at the room and one by one people started to come out, but none of them were you

bin nudging eunwoo: go check up on her

eunwoo opens the door to see you being like pinned down on the bed and he turns livid

he pulls the guy off you and punches him right in the face like: what the fuck do you think you’re doing? what did you give her?

you’re noticeably out of it, sobriety? not there

the guy basically laced something in the drug he gave you, omg you were roofied??

bin comes in and he literally has to hold eunwoo back from beating the shit out of the other guy

the two take you back to their apartment and were making sure that you didn’t die or something shit

literally cannot believe the first time you slept over at eunwoo’s place was when you were drugged up

you wake up the next morning, nauseous, body weak, and confused

eunwoo also wakes up because of your movement: hey y/n, are you okay?

you: eunwoo...what...what happened last night??

he sits up and gives you a recount of the party and you just like hug your body tightly when he brings up the drugs and start crying

he’s a bit shocked when he sees your tears, but he just pulls you in for a hug to try and comfort you, obviously that must have been a bit traumatic

eunwoo: hey...it’s okay...I’m just glad I checked up on you before something worse happened

you: I’m such a fucking idiot...I can’t believe I let myself get put in that situation again...no wonder people think I’m a just a dumb whore.

~trauma~

you and him spill your deepest darkest most traumatizing secrets that morning and you just feel more connected to him

you: I honestly never really told anyone...thanks eunwoo, you’re a good friend.

he feels more protective of you after that??

you start hanging around with him and astro more

and the guys really like having you around !!

you’re very easy to get along with, you also joke and tease eunwoo with them, they love you !

you even become really friendly with the other guys’ partners

about half a year into your fuck buddy relationship with eunwoo

everyone: why aren’t you dating y/n yet?

eunwoo: what do you mean?? we’re just friends...with benefits??

before you even know it, you’re spending literally all your time (when you’re not training or practicing or at class) with eunwoo and his friends

you sleep more at eunwoo’s than you do at your own apartment

honestly you two are already acting like a couple

except for the fact that you only kiss each other when you’re fucking, or you don’t hold hands in public, or you don’t say the L word to each other obviously

but the cuddles? the jokes? the hanging out? if you two are seen together there’s still a little form of physical touch––like a hand on the waist, or resting his elbow on your shoulder––something that tells other people that you two are a bit exclusive to each other

and maybe it’s because both of your emotional capacities when it comes to relationships are akin to a pubescent thirteen year old, but you and eunwoo?? don’t really realize that you’re both basically in love with each other

and it’s also the fact that catching feelings in a friends with benefits?? forbidden

but what if both people catch feelings?

you don’t realize you like eunwoo until a year of fucking each other

damn a year?? y’all really suppressed those romantic feelings hard

you and him were hanging out, per usual, but in the piano rooms of the music building

eunwoo had to practice his repertoire for an upcoming performance and you were free so you decided to come along and keep him company

you knew he was a music major and that he played piano, but you never actually heard him play

you were just chilling by the window, scrolling through your phone, and then he just starts playing and your jaw?? literally dropped

it was so intricate and fluid and elegant, you looked over to the keys and his hands just moved so expertly over them

you were put in a trance, it was so beautiful??

and then you look up and his concentration? seriousness? he has honestly never looked more attractive to you than in that moment

and then eunwoo meets your eyes and he smiles a little: is it bad?

you: no, you’re amazing actually...

and your stomach does a triple somersault and your cheeks start heating up, like why is your heart going haywire???

you start spacing out and obviously he notices

eunwoo calls your name and pats the space next to him on the piano bench

eunwoo: what are you thinking of, hm?

you: n-nothing. keep playing, I wanna hear more

and so he does and your heart just won’t chill out, especially now that you’re literally sitting mere centimeters apart from him

he’s still playing and you just can’t stop thinking about how much you want to kiss him–and not in a sexual way

and that honestly scared you, so you panicked and put your hand near his crotch

eunwoo jolts in surprise, but he doesn’t say anything, he just chuckles and continues playing

do you have sex in the piano room to try and distract yourself from whatever you were feeling? yeah

you hide your feelings for a little bit, but the more time you spent with him, the stronger they got, and you honestly didn’t know what to do

so you tried distancing yourself, you gave eunwoo the excuse that cheerleading competitions were coming up–which they were, so it wasn’t a complete lie–and you needed to focus and have time to yourself

it was so weird for you not seeing him and astro all the time, you barely responded to his text messages or calls, and when you saw him around campus, you would immediately try to avoid him, and it hurt but you were ~scared~

eunwoo’s a smart boy, he knew something was off with you

but after a week of trying to contact you, he didn’t wanna seem annoying or a bother, so he tried not to

even though all he wanted was to see you or talk to you, like it was beyond sex at this point

he missed you, he thought he was going to go insane

he didn’t realize his feelings for you until he saw you talking to a guy in the athletic building

he had basketball practice, and you just finished your cheerleading practice

you were talking to this one guy from your philosophy class, basically joking around and talking shit about your professor

and eunwoo saw you smile at something the guy said and he just felt jealous

his fists clenched, he hated seeing you smile and laugh with the guy like how you used to do with him

and it also didn’t help that you and him haven’t really talked in two or three weeks and he just missed you so much :(

he tried not to think about it during his practice, but it didn’t work, he was off his game for this one, even his teammates and coach noticed it

he went back to his place after practice and called over the boys and basically vented his frustrations

jin: eunwoo. you like y/n

eunwoo: I know...fuck what do I do

bin: tell her, obviously

eunwoo: and risk our?? friendship??

myungjun: you’re a fucking idiot if you don’t see that she likes you back

rocky: yeah...I mean why else do you think noona started distancing herself from you?

eunwoo: maybe I’m just feeling like this because we haven’t met up in a while and I saw her talking to that guy and I don’t know? I’m horny?

sanha: hyung...you sound indenial and jealous.

bin: you like her. we’re surprised you didn’t realize this earlier.

anyway, the day of the competition comes, and the guys and their partners decide to pop out and support you

and seeing them actually made you feel so warm, you wave at them brightly and you meet eyes with eunwoo and you smile at him even though the butterflies are back and at full force

the group is so proud watching you and your team compete, their cheers are debatably the loudest and you literally have to stop yourself from laughing in the middle of your routine

your school places first yuh

and after talking with your team and discussing celebration plans, you go to the group

you were having such an adrenaline rush, you immediately run up to eunwoo in a crushing hug and you kiss him

eunwoo doesn’t even hesitate to kiss you back

astro and them: ohohoho hey

you: I’m so happy you all came! I can’t believe we actually won!

you were going to celebrate with your team bc you knew they were throwing a party, but celebrating with eunwoo and astro/their partners seemed way more appealing to you

you all go out to dinner and drink a little bit casually and it’s all such good vibes

you missed hanging around with them all and it just felt so right

eunwoo rested his hand on your thigh the whole time throughout dinner, he missed you alright, and just seeing you so happy with all his friends? he was hooked

when the group parts ways, it’s just you and eunwoo heading back to his place bc bin is spending the night at his partner’s apartment

and honestly the tension is so thick between you two

you barely make it past the door before you’re both latched onto each other, making out and all that steamy stuff

after you have sex, the two of you are having that post-sex cuddle in his bed and your heart is pounding so loud

you: hey...I’m sorry if it was weird that I kissed you earlier at the venue, I don’t really know what came over me, I was just so glad to see you guys

eunwoo: you don’t have to apologize for that y/n...I missed you

you roll around so that your back is to him bc you do not have the strength to look at him in the eyes right now

eunwoo hugs your waist and pulls you in his chest, he’s spooning you and he has no plans on letting you go any time soon

you: uh...eunwoo, I-we-uh maybe we should stop this...thing from going any further

he literally freezes: ...did I do something wrong?

you: no! it’s...I...fuck I don’t know how to say this...I know we’ve been hooking up for a year but just recently I...think I have feelings for you...and it’s not fair for either of us to continue this if we’re not on the same page.

eunwoo: y/n, I–

you’re rambling now, you’re scared of what he has to say: and honestly you’ve become someone I really don’t wanna lose in my life. You’re an amazing person and friend, and I don’t wanna fuck that up by having feelings for you, especially since you probably don’t feel the same. I just...can’t have casual sex with you anymore...I’m sorry, it would break me.

you’re like trying to get up and you tell him that you’re going to go to the party your team’s hosting but he just tightens his grip

eunwoo: don’t go...please

you: eunwoo, I can’t stay here–

eunwoo: you don’t even know what I feel, y/n...why are you so sure that I don’t feel the same way as you?? because I do...honest to god, y/n, I like you so fucking much. the month that you didn’t talk to me was like hell and I don’t ever wanna experience that again. I missed you so much I thought I was going crazy...please don’t go.

you roll around and face him again

you: y-you like me? you’re not just saying that because you want to keep having sex?

eunwoo: I’m not just saying that because of the sex...I promise

you: so...what does that make us now?

eunwoo: well would you do me the honors and be my girlfriend?

god finally you two are dating

you realize that not much really changes after the two of you make it official

the pda does increase though, you actually hold hands and kiss each other in public now

and you two are more cutesy with each other

yes astro pretends to gag whenever they see you act all coupley

petnames!! you call each other baby, sometimes you call him minnie!! as in dongminnie !! im screaming!!

a poster couple, the basketball player and the cheerleader

literally when you’re both wearing your uniforms and you kiss each other, it’s like one of those teen movies

lots of forehead kisses especially right before bed

eunwoo’s a clingy cuddly boy, especially now that you two are together

lots of study dates?? he is a scholar after all

you’re each other’s biggest supporters !! you always go to all of his recitals and basketball games, he always goes to your competitions

he’s very soft okay, will never stop showing you off or telling you how much you mean to him and how much he loves you

the first I love you came shortly in the relationship, and that’s because you’ve known each other a year prior and the feelings were really just building up since then

you were in the piano room again and he was just playing for fun, but you always loved hearing him ~tickle those ivories~

he was playing a song and singing along and you swear you had heart eyes for him, his voice was so soft and gentle and just wow

you’re sitting next to him and you just hug his waist while he’s playing

eunwoo’s smiling so wide and then he’s singing to you

he doesn’t even get to finish the song, because you’re grabbing his face and kissing him

he’s laughing in between kisses and you can’t help but laugh with him

grrr he’s so cute!

and then you two are just looking at each other

eunwoo: hm?

you: I love you, minnie

he doesn’t miss a beat: I love you too, y/n

you and him have a lot of deep talks together, especially right before bed

it’s the time when he can just let out all the frustrations of the day and just be with you

he actually holds a lot of pressure and worries, but knowing that you’re by his side, comforts him a lot

the two of you have so many pictures together it’s so cute

eunwoo’s a bit possessive alright, not in the toxic way, but will he tighten his grip on your waist if a guy seems to be getting a little too friendly with you? yeah

not gonna lie, you get possessive too, it’s hard especially if your boyfriend is cha eunwoo, he’s the fucking perfect package god dammit

you both tell each other that you don’t have to worry about other people bc y’all are just both so whipped for each other

but it’s still cute when either of you are jealous

he’s actually pretty into couple items, but it has to be like minimalistic-style

like matching plain color hoodies or matching pajama sets

will not wear a “he’s mine, she’s mine” shirt or something

but it’s okay bc neither would you sksksk

will he wink at you if he makes a three pointer during his game? yeah.

literally loves when you wear his clothes or fuck, his jersey?? a turn on

and here we go !! I’ve been talking about sex so much but let’s get into it !!

in the beginning, like before you two started dating, when it was just your fuck buddy friendship, it was sexy

and not saying that it’s not sexy now that you two were in a relationship, but before it was just lust

eunwoo’s a freak alright, you can’t convince me otherwise

he’s a little kinky

definitely into food play, you two use whipped cream during foreplay a little too much...

100% into anal

you know how much he loves ass, has a very nice ass himself

and we already been knew, but yes he’s an ass guy

s p a n k i n g

eunwoo seeing you in your cheerleading skirt? immediate turn on

will literally fuck you while you’re wearing your skirt...just your skirt.

alright alright, you have a hand kink...was it awoken by watching eunwoo play piano all the time? yes

does eunwoo use that to his advantage? yes

the amount of times he’s fingered you??? vaginal and anal??? lord have mercy

very much into overstimulation, will keep fingering you until you squirt

and yes im bringing back my the choking kink

literally if his hands make any contact with your neck area, even when he’s just kissing, you will drench

but ugh you and eunwoo making out and you know how he like cups the back of the neck?? i know y’all have seen it from the true beauty kiss scenes, and then it gets heated and his grip just moves to the front and squeezes and when your mouth opens in a gasp, he shoves his tongue down your throat

that’s so sexy

do you like choking on his cock? probably more than you should

does he make you deep throat until tears are literally streaming down your face? most definitely

he loves marking you?? it’s just a tell tale way to show everyone you’re his

he’s a bit feisty...will he manhandle you during sex?? yeah

eunwoo is a dom. I am 100% convinced that he is a dom, you won’t be domming him honey

daddy and babygirl kink...I said it...

okay he’s a bit of an exhibitionist...would probably be down to have sex anywhere as long as you don’t get caught

piano room sex? locker room sex? library sex? movie theater sex? restaurant bathroom sex? yes you’ve done it all

will he finger you while you guys are having a movie night with the guys? yeah

eunwoo’s a tease, he’s a little shit, will tease you until you’re literally in tears begging for him to just do something

favorite position is doggy, it’s the view of the ass for him

although you two both do like experimenting different positions, especially if it has to do with “training your flexibility”

will pull your hair while he’s fucking you from behind, and will plug your asshole with his thumb–don’t knock it until you try it...it’s...a pretty good feeling

sometimes wakes you up by eating you out

very much a giver ugh king

the type to grip your thighs tighter when you try to push him away from overstimulation just to force another orgasm out of you

believe it or not, he’s a gasper/grunter/groaner

nothing is hotter than hearing eunwoo groan right when he’s about to cum oooof grrrr bark bark

okay but soft gentle sex with eunwoo is so passionate

all you feel is the love and sincerity, especially when he’s just looking in your eyes

the love making happens a lot more obviously when you start dating

he’s just so in love with you alright

gives the best and sweetest after care ugh

cleans you up, gives you massages especially if it was a rough session, cuddles you, draws you a bath, brings you water, everything

always makes sure to tell you he loves you after sex

i would risk it all for eunwoo like please ruin my life

anyway

ugh I just wanna put the idea of protective eunwoo during a party in your head

his hand is always on you. waist, thigh, shoulder, anywhere casually

you don’t fight?? but you do argue

arguing is healthy, and you both would rather let it out and bicker with each other in the moment than let it bottle in and build up into something worse

but when you do have a disagreement, no matter how big or small, you two always make sure to never go to bed angry with each other

communication is very important for the both of you

you’re his better half :’) all the things eunwoo struggles with, you help him with it and vice versa

he figured out you were the one for him during one of your deep late night pillow talks

he was worried about what he’d do in the future after graduating, like he was genuinely having a crisis about it

but you just talked so calmly to him: baby, no matter where you end up after graduation or what you end up doing, you’re going to be fine. You’re such a hard worker and I know that you’ll succeed...no matter what, I’ll be here for you minnie. I believe in you, you’re future is going to be great.

and he just kisses you so sweetly: will you be in my future, baby?

you’re smiling and you just giggle at him: if you want me to be...I’d love to be a part of it.

ugh y’all are so whipped for each other !!

astro always teasing you two, even when you’re all older

you and eunwoo are equally ticklish so basically y’all are fucked when they wanna mess with you

both of your families love you and him instantly

they push marriage immediately after you both graduate college

even astro’s like: we know you two are probably gonna tie the knot first...when’s the wedding?

not gonna lie, you and eunwoo probably get married probably 2-3 years after college, pretty young age

sidenote: eunwoo 100% cries at your wedding, especially when he sees you walking down the isle in your dress

and he has huge baby fever so you bet y’all had kids fairly young too

the best dad !! ugh he loves kids !! ugh so domestic

im just gonna say, y’all have beautiful children

trusts bin and jinjin to babysit your kids the most...he’s scared of the rest of the boys watching over his children

anyway eunwoo literally deserves the world and I just?? love him so much?? happy ending yay hehe

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2-21-21

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