#i am a hateful spiteful bitch for DIFFERENT reasons

[gingerbreadmonsters]

oh this is going to be......... a problem actually

[earthtooz]

𝟐:𝟎𝟑 𝐀𝐌

fluff, hints at a fight that happened so minimal hurt/comfort, sooo much swearing, ooc rin bc he's so hard to write wtf he has a personality of an apple but i love him <3

it’s 2 am.

it’s 2 am and someone is knocking on your door like a madman.

you were simply trying to catch some shut eye, exhausted from a day of grieving and almost breaking down into tears on several occasions. the accumulation of a shitty day, a stressful deadline, and the massive fight you had with your boyfriend, itoshi rin, two days ago, really committed to keeping your day melancholic at best. sleep was everything you needed right now, both for its regenerative and escapist purposes.

yet again, you really cannot catch a break from the spite of the universe because it is out of rage that you find yourself walking towards your front door; an anger that dissipates when you see who it is on the other side.

1/3 of the reason why your day sucked. your painfully beautiful boyfriend.

the argument you had with rin was left open-ended on whether the relationship should continue or not. to you, it seemed as though both parties were at different opinions, with you wanting to maintain what you had. after two days of not responding to your texts, you suppose that that had been a short way of answering the ambiguity.

willingly, although reluctantly, you open the door, preparing to end something that you were not ready to let go.

he’s sweaty and he’s panting. did he run up the stairs or something, why is he so puffed? how is he so pretty despite that?

“hey,” you begin, feeling small in his presence. rin bores through you with his teal eyes, not saying anything. you cringe at the silence.

“i appreciate the effort but y’know, if you wanted to make our breakup official couldn’t you have done it at a reasonable hour, rin?”

his eyes narrow at that statement, betraying his usually stoic expression with furrowed brows and an agape mouth. confused. he’s confused, but you don’t see any of it because you find the floor more interesting than your boyfriend (?).

with a deep inhale, you just decide to go for it. if he’s not going to declare it, then you will. “look, rin, maybe you’re right, if this relationship is holding you back then maybe it is best we-“

“-the olive theory.”

“excuse me?”

the first words this man utters to you after two days… is the olive theory?

the dark-haired continues. “the olive theory, we’re- we’re supposed to be compatible.”

you are way over your head right now. did you even wake up? is this a dream? why is your, usually all-straight-talk, boyfriend talking to you about the olive theory at 2am, stammering whilst doing so? what kind of hallucination is this?

“rin, what?”

“i like olives, you hate them, we’re meant to work, and i don’t think i can continue on like this.”

you blink once, twice, three times before pointing at him. “you’re telling me that we’re compatible, yet in the same sentence, telling me that we should break up?”

"i didn’t want to break up?”

“but you just said you can’t continue on like this, what else do you mean?” your voice is at a hushed whisper at best, and although you wanted to raise it louder, you fear that your neighbours would not be happy.

“i meant that i can’t continue on without you!”

silence.

“i’ve become so co-dependent on you that i fucking hate it. i can’t fucking function without you, even that fuckhead isagi knows that i’m off and it’s all because of you. it’s only been two fucking days and i’m not landing 60% of my goals, i’m not receiving 20% of my passes correctly, and i keep tripping over myself, you’re ruining me, y/n.”

the flurry of emotions within you triples, and you’re so flabbergasted that no words can escape your mouth. truthfully, you can't think straight, but if you could, the words would fizzle out in your throat before they even saw the light of day.

“if i have to suffer any more of this stupid silence between us then i might kill a bitch. that bitch being the antennae freak.”

even more silence, and rin is practically begging you with his gaze to say something. funnily enough, the next thing you murmur is out of reflex: “don’t say that about shidou.”

he groans. “if i didn’t love you, i would choke you right now.” wow, itoshi rin has a way with words.

the threat causes you to crack a smile. “well, good thing you love me,” you mutter whilst grabbing him by the wrists to pull him inside your apartment. “and it’s a good thing i love you too.”

“well no shit, we’ve been in a relationship for-“

“-shut up and kiss me, you smooth talker.”

the soccer player smirks in amusement before leaning forward, closing the physical and metaphorical space between you, soothing the heartache with gentle touches and a fervent need to love one another.

༊* BONUS:

“why are you here at 2 am? i thought you, of all people, would be fast asleep.”

“tried to, can’t sleep without you- you’re a real pain in my ass, you know that?”

you smile fondly as he hooks an arm around you waist, collapsing into you as a way of saying that he doesn’t mean his rough words. “so i’m just another bedwarmer?” you ask teasingly.

he grumbles a ‘tch’, digging his nose into your nape. “you’re an idiot.”

“thank you, love. speaking of bedwarming, can we go to sleep?” perfectly paired with a yawn, rin looks at you with slight guilt in his eyes before dragging you down the memorised path to your bedroom.

once there, he wastes little time in dragging you into the sanctuary of your bed, and you let out a sigh of content when rin turns off the lights and pulls the covers up. instinctively, your hands retreat to his hair, carding through them.

he’s holding you close, hands resting protectively around your waist.

“we have a lot to talk about in the morning, but did you not get any of my texts?”

“you texted?”

“…yeah?”

“oh yeah, i remember now that i blocked you after our fight.”

you mercilessly smother him with your pillow.

[snickerdoodlles]

ellebeesknees replied to your post "choose violence ask game except its just me complaining about fic tropes..."

☕☕☕.

ooooh three bitchy opinions 👀 okay so, not really a trope but:

authors who are snide towards canon

this one is kinda hard for me to describe, but you know those fics that have a line that Makes A Statement about something in canon and the tone of it is just bitchy? or just any sort of vibe where the author clearly thinks they're Much Better than the actual show writer? sighs.

we've all had that phase in fandom where we hate read/watch something and then bitch about it online but my god am i glad to be over that bullshit. if you don't like it here, you don't have to be here! there's nothing making you stay! I've noticed the trend that if the author's a snide cunt about canon, they're inevitably going to be a snide cunt about some canon thing i do like, and i don't need that in my life. you can disagree with/change canon choices in a way that doesn't automatically put down anyone who does like what canon did, and you can't do that if you're going to be smug and superior about what you do or what you don't like. canon is a sandbox and if you're not here to have fun, please go to a different sandbox where you will have fun, it'll be much nicer for everyone.

spite fic

similarly: i have negative patience for spite fic. what's the fucking point of spite fic? if you only participate in spaces you don't like, you're never going to find the stuff you like or convince anyone in those spaces to change their minds, you're just going to piss everyone off as you trample on their toes. i'm a little steamed thinking about this because of the debacle of people trying to start fights in tags, but overall its just so childish and exhausting. again: why are you here if you aren't having fun!!

like i said above, there's a way to...hmm, dance? with stuff you don't like that still comes from a place of love. like, personally! i do not like Macau & Chay friendship! which is a different post, but fandom largely likes to smash the two of them together for some reason and i Don't Get It. so i avoid that tag, but i wrote interior design with the sort of playfully-antagonistic dynamic i would love to see more of between them. but like, my point was "hey, has anyone considered how funny this would be" and never at any point "the other way people write them is WRONG." because it isn't wrong, it's just not my cup of tea. i'm rambling, but tl;dr- anything tagged with "spite fic" or is spite fic in vibes has me rolling my eyes and scrolling by, no thanks.

fix-it fic

okay so like. i don't automatically click out of anything with this tag, but i'm very leery towards it. my joy in fandom is exploring all the "what-ifs" of canon and canon-divergence is such a fun playground, but i've gotten...really, really frustrated with the fix-it fic tag over the past few years. a lot of fix-its revolve around "what if x choice never happened" scenarios and very often the answer to that is "this significantly more boring y result happened instead" and meh. generally, i find it more interesting to work with things that happened in canon than to just banish them, so anything starting with the premise of just erasing something is a hard sell for me.

for example! after kinnporsche ep4 dropped and the spurt of ~fix-it~ fic that dropped so that either kp didnt fuck or it was fully consensual or whatever. it just...missed the entire point of why it was narratively important, or stripped Porsche of the agency he did have during that scene, or missed the point of how Kinn can't ignore the power imbalance between them. i'm not going to ramble more on the meta about it here, but it felt like a bunch of people clutching their pearls and more anxious about making some fictional guys ~unproblematic~ instead of digging into the story the writers were trying to tell. plus, KinnPorsche as a ship minus the power imbalance or the tension of their circumstances is a much more boring story to me, so my inclination is to just scroll by anything wanting to avoid it.

another example of fix-it fic i hated was after good omens s2 came out, a bunch of people rushed to write ~fix-it fic~ where Aziraphale didn't go to heaven or it turned out ~he was drugged all along~ or anything that didn't have Aziraphale and Crowley splitting at the end. even a lot of the literal story metas dropping at the time were theories on how Aziraphale wasn't actually leaving Crowley or he was literally being brainwashed/drugged into it somehow, and it was just like. hmm. the s2 end was the natural build-up of the story (all???? of s2 was them miscommunicating or trying to find their new purposes in the world???) (also: in all trilogies, the 2nd story ends on a cliffhanger, that's How You Write Trilogies) and like. blah, idk, i get how the natural instinct is to want some comfort food after the bombshell, but the good omens tag (on AO3 and even tumblr in many ways) was impossible for me post s2 because i was really excited about their divorce and all the ways to dig into that split, but everywhere i turned was about turning the wheel back to erase it. bleh.

anyways, overall, nothing wrong with fix-it fic, but it's usually easier to just assume anything with that tag is not a story i'm interested in reading.

...reading back and the tl;dr of this post is that i find it more fulfilling to play in a sandbox i like and take all canon choices in good faith to work with lol

[ send a ☕, get a bitchy* fic opinion ]

*personal opinion, I'm not going to be mean

[emmieblueeyes]

Let me introduce you to my inner voice. She is one serious bitch! She's cruel, violent and she hates me.

At my worst moments of failure and personal recognition of lameness, she is there to cast a shadow over me. She tells me that I am disgusting. She tells me that I am a mistake. That I am ugly and that no one would miss me. She twists harmless comments made by the people in my life into cruel proof that if I was to die today, people would move on. She tells me I am a coward. She tells me everybody, especially me would be better off if I wasn't here.

She makes me cry. She also makes sense to me. I know her, she's been around for a long time and I secretly believe she's right.

Positive mental health has been made into a morbidly obese happiness eater. People are applauded and heralded as positive role models when they tell you on various media platforms how to keep smiling, how to chase your goals, how to be happy in spite of your traumas, and road rage at traffic. Most of all, these welfare and mental health gurus tell you various steps on how to have a positive or solution focused mindset that will eradicate the toxic inner voice.

I am going to a funeral tomorrow. For a client that I cared about and I want to honour them. I work in social work. I bought a dress. My boyfriend asked to see pictures that he could look at from across a different time zone. The evening descended into chaos. Seven months ago I was 24 stone. I am now 17 stone. I wasnt always big. Five years ago, I had a wonderful body that I wasn't grateful for and judged. I used to wear dresses everyday. Now I rarely wear them because my big belly and tree trunk calves cause me to wince and so I wear clothes that are strategic in what they highlight and hide. I go to the gym every day. I have cut out wheat, sugar and I live in calorie deficit. It works. Week on week, I lose pounds, small and great. But when I wear the dress, there is still mounds of fat everywhere. I can't send any photos to my boyfriend. He's not going to be turned on by my morbidly obese backside and bouncy castle physique. I am not turned on by it. I have another 7 stone to lose to be at my target. I look terrible in the dress. I look terrible full stop. I look as large as I did at 24 stone. I don't look normal, I look like an eye sore.

That's when the bitch serves me her best hits. She unleashes such torment that I want to die. I truly want to close my eyes and not wake up. I don't think I would really be missed for long. I am a blimp. Remembered and then forgotten. Not truly needed by anyone that couldn't replace me. I am temporarily suicidal. Seriously and not.

I say this as someone who not only works in mental health but as a trainee therapist about to qualify this year.

Good mental health is not the absence of toxic thoughts or never having a desire to die or to hurt yourself. It is the ability to know how to make sure that you around tomorrow and the day after. To continue even with a bitch throwing shade. To try again, even when you believe her. Good mental health is being able to hold a state of hope and hopelessness - waiting for the choas to quieten and move towards a kinder reasoning.

I want media platforms to talk more about the bitch. Maybe if we talked more honest about her and her long-term stay in our own lives, more suicidal thoughts would stay temporary, and we wouldn't hide this bully so effectively. We could help each other wait it out. Like strangers at the bus stop during a storm. We talk, and we joke because together, it feels a little less shit and the bus seems to get there quicker.

[what-if-nct]

Tagged by @karetahana Thank you for tagging me hon🌸🌸💕

Are you named after anyone??

Kind of so my mom named me something completely different but my Grandma changed my name when she came to get me from the hospital. My first name was originally Jasmine but my Grandma changed it to Joyce cause it sounded like my Grandpa's name George. My middle name is a disaster cause my aunt chose it, its horrible and i hate and i want to change it to Jasmine. I do think Joyce fits me as a first name better though

When is the last time you cried??

Monday, the usual no one has ever loved me and never will, im fine.

Do you have any kids??

No unless my stuffed animals count.

Do you use sarcasm a lot??

Not often, sometimes.

What’s the first thing you notice about people??

Their hair, it's the first thing my eyes go to especially if it's like a bright color or a cool style.

What’s your eye color??

Brown.

Scary movie or happy ending??

Happy Ending. I just want everything to be like a Barbie movie and it works out perfectly. I didn't like the craft's ending because Nancy, Rochelle and Bonnie Deserved better. Like they didn't even do anything wrong, they were no where too taken over by power.. In this power point I will explain how Sarah was the actual problem.

Any special talents??

I can touch my head with my foot, I can even easier touch my nose with my foot, does that count? Is that a talent.

Where were you born??

Florida

Do you have any hobbies??

I collect dolls and I sew. the amount of clothes I've taken apart and sew into completely different things. I turned a long sleeve top into a spaghetti strap top and im really proud of it. I just never wear long sleeve tops unless its off the shoulder and cause it had a velvet cheetah print heart that said Bratz and cheetah print neckline I couldn't so I changed it and was able to keep the neckline intact also had to take it in cause it was pretty big in the waist.

Do you have any pets??

Yes, I have a sister. She's a good pet and I love her.

What sports do you/have you played??

I was a cheerleader and also did dance through middle and high school. Random story no one asked for I only learned to do a split out of spite because the head cheerleader while the coach was out went down the line to ask who could do a split and skipped me cause I was the biggest cheerleader. But I am unnecessarily flexible so every night I practiced doing a split and it took me like a week to do it. And I heard some of the other cheerleaders say I was only on the team to be a base. First of all I was the only bitch there with rhythm and who was good a choreography because I was also in dance. Like Just because I'm fat it doesn't mean anything. One thing about me, being fat has never stopped me from doing anything. The way other people treated me for being fat hurt as a child and was the sole reason I fell into depression and self harm. But I stopped caring what other people think a long time ago, like fuck everyone who has a problem with fat people that has nothing to with us. Their just fucking little bitches. I may have went on a tangent there.

How tall are you??

Legally 5'7 but I can't accept it so in my mind 5'8. Yes, an inch matters, my whole life was a lie.

What was your favorite subject in school??

Art and Dance, in 12th grade I had like almost all electives beside English and math and I didn't have PE! Like it was the best thing ever.

Dream job??

Princess, but like in the sense where I can wear a tiara and go to balls and be pampered but with out all the rules.

I tag @theficblog @hopeticket @dibidibidismynameisleeknow @joonsbonsailurks @jjongolese @jonghyuns-husband @ncityinthebuilding @farraige25 @simply-elegantly-kai @tremendousmasculinity , @kumigrlrl you dont have to do it if you dont want to and I also tag anyone who wants to do it.

[7-oh-ta1]

So I've never really talked about why season 4 is my least favorite TWD game, but I'm hoping I can sum up my thoughts tastefully though tbh I get a little spiteful at the end because I am adhfhgk

First things first, I don't hate the game, it's just that it's on the bottom of my list compared to the others. Narratively it's pretty heavy-handed with the "Walkers are still people" idea which isn't a bad idea to explore but it feels out of place or not fully realized. The best example is in the very beginning with the Walker couple in the train station. AJ suggests we kill them for the key, then Clementine tells him "but they used to be people. And as people, they asked to be left alone". Personally, I feel like the note and their hands tied together were enough to get that idea across but they felt the need to have Clementine explicitly speak the other side of the argument just to highlight their point. It wasn't needed, and this happens all the time throughout the game.

Even more frustrating is that Clementine has a set personality in s4 regardless of what your Clementine was like in ANF because ANF is was completely discarded by the narrative. Yet even my s2 Clementine would've killed the Walker couple, but all of a sudden she feels extreme empathy for them. Maybe if you're playing a soft Clementine, sure. But the hardened badass of s3 wouldn't have said that.

If you choose not to kill them, then yes by all means she could say that to explain her reasoning to AJ. But by saying before the decision it makes it seem like killing Walkers is against my Clementine's morals -- which it's not.

And therein lies the issue I take with s4. Unlike the other seasons, where you could do arguably cruel things but still feel justified (lying to Hershel & Shawn, protecting Duck instead of Shawn, saving Doug/Carley over the other, killing the St. Johns, stealing from the car, leaving Lilly, pushing Omid, threatening Vernon, killing Ben, the list goes on--) but in s4, if you're not a complete pacifist the narrative itself beats you over the head with "but what if you were nicer? Hm? Bet you feel like shit. You made AJ a monster because you didn't say thank you when someone held a door open for you." And it's like... no?? What?? Idk why Clementine is acting this way bec I certainly don't feel bad for the choices I made.

James is one thing, he's just one character, and I respect him for standing by his ideals even though I don't agree with them. But it feels like the game was written and coded by James. No one else has different opinions than him or contest him, no one agrees with Clem that sometimes you have to kill people to protect yourself, and the entire story is written saying that his ideals are right. I feel like the conversation was so nuanced in s1 & in s3, a bit in s2, but in s4 it just says, "this is right, this is wrong, and if you choose what we as the writers disagree with then we're going to make Clementine feel like shit" so I feel like my choices didn't even shape the narrative. I was wrong, that was that, and I'd need to play again to see the "good" end.

Aside from the narrative itself, I also did not get incredibly attached to the Ericson cast (Aasim was cool af but got put in a cupboard for the majority of the game & Mitch the Bitch was also cool but he died randomly) so when Clementine was kicked out I was like ... okay, I don't really care. I only feel bad for AJ cause he seemed to like it but personally I wasn't gonna miss it. Then I have to go back and help these people?? Prove myself?? Huh? I don't even like y'all. 🤨 I hardly know you TO like you! I'm hitting the road good luck with the kidnappers.

The community of teenagers also gave me a young adult series vibe, I'm getting Hunger Games, I'm getting Divergent, I'm getting that one with the girl in a crystal ball on the cover, and I don't like any of those series. It feels like s4 was written about a teenager for teenagers, and I'm 21. Even s2, with a 11 y/o protagonist, felt like she was in a very dangerous adult world, s4's world is a teenager's world. S4 doesn't even feel like it's the same world as the previous seasons. The pieces are there, but the way the narrative uses those pieces is just so lackluster.

They also did the "is life precious or not?" thing that ANF did, but this time simplified it to the point that it was literally in the dialogue asking you. ANF handled that theme with grace and nuance, weaving it into the story subtly but still very much present. You weren't beat over the head with the idea, you were quietly influenced by the storytelling until the story beats where you must ask yourself, "Do I hold the authority to decide who lives and dies? Is it my place to decide that? And in the end, do my decisions make an impact? Do I hold the god-like power I think I do?"

Apparently most TWDG players don't read like. Actual books because it completely flew over their heads. I think that's why s4 DOES just outright ask you over and over and over if killing is right because obviously the main audience needed it in big bold letters. This frustrates me to no end because it killed whatever stock I had in the story. Especially when I complied with all James's requests to not hurt the Walkers, but after my walk in the barn I stood by my belief that Walkers are not people, so he suddenly went from being my best friend to hating me and spitting vemon at me??? I never want to hear anyone hate on Jane or Kenny again after that. He demands you be open minded to his beliefs, but he's not open minded to your's!! It's so hypocritical that it's baffling. That's when it all clicked for me. "Ohhhhhhh. This game has a very strong idea of what the right choice is, and if I choose differently I'm going to get a shit ending..."

And so I got a pretty ehhhhh ending!! Because fuck em, that's why! I partly choose to shoot Lilly not because I wanted to, but because it felt like they were trying to force me not to! I ended the game exactly how I started it: Ericson's is eh, okay. The cast has potential but is never fully realized. At least AJ is happy. And that's.... not the feeling you want when you finish a game series.

[80s4life]

Party's Over

Word Count: 852

Status: Not Suggested!

A/N: GUNNAR! GUNNAR! GUNNAR! *squeals*

Side-Note: This one’s an unintentional shortie and I hate it. I apologize in advance.

Fandom: The Expendables Series

Relationship: Gunnar Jensen x Reader

Summary: Stubborn. Rude. A hot head. A basket Case. Crazy. Suicidal. Many people had warned you of the Swedish Mountain's faults, yet, you stayed anyway. Because, to you, that's what they were: faults, just like any other person. He was perfect. Determined. Smart. A Teddy Bear. A Protector. He was yours, even as he is forced away from you, burdened by his own demons.

Warnings: language, bar fight, under the influence (alcohol), name-calling (defense mechanism), potential break up, pretty angsty

Masterlist Expendables Masterlist

Taglist: @snapessecretdiary @tangledcopperstrands

{I do not own this gif, credits go to -> @bullwinklemoose}

*His grouchy face gives me tingles...And his voice...And his body...And- I'm sorry...*

“Gunnar!” you scream, following the huge mass of man out of the bar he’d just destroyed, “What the fuck are you doing?!”

“What the fuck am I doing? What are you doing?” he swings himself around, quick to attack you with his own words.

“I was having a great old time before you came charging in! I wasn’t doing anything this time!”

“Like you weren’t showing yourself around? Like you weren’t trying to be Caesar’s perfect little bitch?”

“Oh that’s rich coming from you! Like you weren’t flirting with Maggie back when we were trying to fight off Vilain?! Oh, but that’s right, I’m not allowed to say something like that because it’ll piss you off! God forbid I call you out when you act like a damn baby all the time!”

“It was different then; a long fucking time ago too! We weren’t together yet and you were still stuck whoring around the place!”

“I was whoring around?!” you scream, completely ballistic now that you got him alone in the alleyway, no one able to hear you. “You get jealous if one guy so much as looks at me for less than a second! Especially Caesar! You do know I have a life outside of the time I spend with you- a life before you!”

“Good! Then it’ll be just as easy to go back to it then, huh?”

“W-What?” you stuttered, caught by surprise at his insinuation.

“If it was so damn grand before you met me, then go back to it! I never asked you to get together with me. Fuck, I mean, I never even wanted you in the first place! You were just so easy to wander into my bed when I wanted you to!”

“I was easy?!” you scream, his words slashing at your heart.

“Oh come on! The way you strutted around the place, wearing next to nothing just to spite me. The way you’d give me the look all the time just to see if I was watchin’! Yeah I saw all of them!”

“You want to know what the look was Gunnar? Huh? Do ya?!” you taunt him, slowly teetering off the edge of sobbing on the ground right in front of him. But you won’t do that, you won’t let him beat you down just to feel superior.

“Oh please-”

“Love! Cold hard, bone crushing, soul-wrenching love! And, get this, for a man that can’t stand being with me for an estimated 2 hours!”

“That’s not true-”

“Oh, but it is Gunnar! You see, we don’t work together. Despite how hard I try, you always seem to seek reasons to tear us apart because it makes you feel weak,” you inform him shakily, drops of rain starting to fall out of the forming storm clouds.

“I warned you time and time again before we even got together Y/N. I’m a broken man you can’t just fix and make brand new. You can’t change a person to be how you want them,” Gunnar states, turning his back on you.

“Gunnar-” you get cut off by the rain starting to pour down, only increasing as time passes by. Gunnar takes this chance to start walking off, flipping his hood on his head for some cover, hands tucking into his jacket pockets. “Gunnar!” you yell, tears starting to mix in with the rain.

He doesn’t turn around. He doesn’t even spare you a glance. If you squint, you could swear he honestly sped up.

“Gunnar! God dammit!” you scream helplessly, “Please!”

Your beg stops him in his tracks, grimacing at the sound of your voice cracking with tell-tale signs of crying.

“Gunnar...I-” you choke up, “I don’t want this to end. I won’t let it end. I just - can’t,” you sob, hugging yourself as you hear his footsteps once again, overpowered by the rain. 

Just as you go to look up, unable to sense your surroundings, strong and warm arms coil themselves around your shaking form, Gunnar’s head resting on top of yours. Feeling his body against yours again, you sob harder, knowing what you’re fighting for is not one-sided. 

“Please Gunnar. I wanna work this out with you. Not Barney, not Yin Yang, or Lee, or Toll, or Caesar for Christ’s sake - you,” you sniffle, wrapping your arms underneath his own, and clinging your hands on the backsides of his shoulder blades in an attempt to keep him as close as you could muster.

“I know baby, I know. I’m so sorry. I’m sorry,” Gunnar whispers, a hand coming up to lightly pet your head. “I’m going to try Y/N, I swear. I’ll put down the drinks. I’ll even doing breathing techniques or somethin’,” Gunnar swears, a tear of his own slipping from his eye as he witnesses the pain he’s sent your through, still in disbelief that someone like you could feel so much for a man like himself.

[sketching-shark]

LMK fandom: Oh, what do we do about this guy who has nothing but hurt Xiaotian, tried to replace Sun Wukong and his crew, hurt Tripitaka and ordered servants to cannibalize a monkey? Oh I know! We’ll turn him into our little meow meow~ he’s so innocent and Sun Wukong is obviously the villain!

What doesn’t help is this idea is perpetuated by multiple fan fic writers and artists for some reason. Especially some aus they make that turn SWK into a bastard for the sake of the story rather than considering cultural context and thinking they should be respectful.

And almost everyone lets them get away with it just because the art or fanfic is good and they get so popular that no one can point what is actually wrong without feeling like they’re going to get attacked.

I'm starting to feel like my blog is the one anons go to specifically to vent their frustrations about the Six Eared Macaque in his lego monkey show form & the associated fandom lmao. But I guess this makes sense, as I’ve had fun quasi-dragging him before & will in fact use this anon submission as an opportunity to have my own, to put it academically, bitch fest about not just this fandom's favorite protagonist-traumatizing meow meow, but about the way villains are often treated in not just fanon, but increasingly in canon works as well. But same policy as with the last anon; I'll post my opinions below the cut, and as fandoms love to say, don’t like don't read if you don't want to see me dunking on the six eared simian & common fandom tendencies towards villains.

Oh man I would say where would you even begin with this but anon you’ve pretty much started yourself with my main gripe with a lot of ways that the Six-Eared Macaque is portrayed in fandom; there seems to be this unspoken agreement that his acts of violence towards Sun Wukong, Qi Xioatian, and Qi Xioatian’s loved ones are either to be framed as somewhat or totally justified, to be immediately forgiven/excused, or to simply & completely be ignored. Like friends maybe this is just me not seeing the proper posts but while the fandom is inundated with art and fanfics of Macaque as a generally decent individual & a true member of team good guy, I have yet to see one person address the fact that this monkey literally kidnapped & mind-controlled Xiaotian’s best friend and father figures & forced them to brutalize Xiaotian while ol’ Six Ear looked on and laughed (X_X). Like this kind of fandom villain treatment is definitely not something that’s solely at work for Monkie Kid, but it is kind of nutty how fandoms will swing between yelling that people should be allowed to like villains without even mild critique, and then will just flat-out not address the villainous behavior, and will even bend over backwards to frame even characters who committed genocide as just poor innocent widdle victims who need a hug. At its worst, I’ve even seen tons of people in a fandom get really angry at other people who don’t like a villain, and will even start accusing those people of hating real-life mentally disabled or abused individuals all because they don’t like the fandom’s favorite literal war criminal. The Monkie Kid fandom is FAR more chill & better than a lot of other fandoms I’ve come across in that regard, but that is an exceedingly low bar, & the tendency to woobify certain kinds of villains-- as with Macaque and the extreme emphasis on his bad boy/sad boy thing--is very much at work.  

 I’ve also talked before about a kind of monoculturalization of certain character interpretations and story beats in fandoms, and one of the more popular ones that seems to be applied to Macaque a lot is the “hero actually bad, villain actually good” cliche, as observable from the general fandom assumption that Mr. Six-Ears he wasn’t even slightly lying or remembering things through a rose-tinted or skewed lens when he gave his version of his and Sun Wukong’s past. Like at this point it seems the possibility that people WILL NOT even consider is that Sun Wukong never did & still doesn't care that much about the Six Eared Macaque (in JTTW they weren’t sworn brothers & in Monkie Kid the only thing the monkey king really said to Macaque before attacking him was a pretty contemptuous "Aren't you ever going to get sick of living under my shadow?," & responds to his "beloved friend" getting blown up with "You did good, bud" to Qi Xiaotian, who did the exploding), or that their original fight may in fact have mostly been instigated by Macaque. After all, to repeat what this anon summarized & what I've said before about their original JTTW context (& in an example of the things that do feel like it's often lost in translation) is that the Six Ear Macaque was a villain not just because he beat up the Tang Monk, but because he wanted to take over Sun Wukong's entire life and identity so he could have all that glory, prestige, and power for himself. To quote the macaque himself from the Anthony C. Yu translation, "I struck the T'ang monk and I took the luggage...precisely because I want to go to the West all by myself to ask Buddha for the scriptures. When I deliver them to the Land of the East, it will be my success and no one else's. Those people of the South Jambudvipa Continent will honor me then as their patriarch and my fame will last for all posterity." And in order to do this, the Six Eared Macaque had apparently made Sun Wukong's "little ones," his monkey family, his captives through either trickery or force, and gotten a number of them to take on the appearance of Tang Sanzang and the other pilgrims. It's also made clear that in very direct contrast to Sun Wukong, he doesn't care about these monkeys beyond how they might serve him. In fact, after Sha Wujing kills the monkey posing as him the Six Eared Macaque not only all but immediately replaces him with another, but also "told his little ones to have the dead monkey skinned. Then his meat was taken to be fried and served as food along with coconut and grape wines." So this monkey is not only willing to risk the lives of a lot of other monkeys for his own personal benefit, but is also a literal cannibal. And yes yes, I know a lot of people have argued that Monkie Kid shouldn't be considered a direct sequel to JTTW & that's fair enough (for example, Sun Wukong probably shouldn't be smashing anyone into a meat patty in a children's cartoon lol). And of course, it needs to be noted that there are a buttload of really out there & really cursed pieces of media based on JTTW & that were created in China. Yet the above description is the oft-ignored in the west original facet of the Six Eared Macaque's character. And it is this selfishness, entitlement, and treatment of other individuals as tools for his own self-serving ends  that is, from where I’m standing, still very much present in Monkie Kid. Like besides repeatedly going out of his way to physically and psychologically traumatize Xioatian, with the last episode Macaque seemed to be going right back to his manipulative ways. I’ve seen people frame their last conversation as Macaque softening to Xioatian a little bit, but personally that read a lot more like that common tactic among abusers where even after they’ve hurt you they’ll dangle something you want or need over your head (in Macaque’s case, the promise of desperately needed training and information about a serious looming threat), with the implication that you’ll only get it if you do what they want you to, such as, in this case, Xioatian going back to Macaque as his student even after having been so terribly hurt by this monkey, which would give Macaque power over Xiaotian and probably Sun Wukong as a result. And it is this violence and manipulation that it seems the fandom at large has tacitly decided shouldn’t even be addressed, instead leaning more towards a (and this is an exaggeration) “Six-Eared Macaque my poor meow meow Sun Wukong has always been bad & has always been wrong about literally everything” reading. 

And while it is the case that I am not Chinese and feel that as such it would be best left to someone who actually comes from that background to provide more context into how common interpretations of the Six Eared Macaque from China may clash really badly with the stuff the western fandom creates, it also must be noted that, as much as we all want to have fun in fandom & in spite of all the out-there versions of JTTW from China, we westerners should recognize that there is a very long and very ugly history of western countries stripping other cultures’ important religious and literary works for parts & mashing them into their own thing while implying or even insisting that what they present provides a true understanding of the original piece. And while I trust most individuals in regards to Monkie Kid are able to step back and think “this is a lego cartoon and not a set guide for how I should understand JTTW” (especially given the insistence that JTTW and Monkie Kid should be considered there own separate works) there does nevertheless seem to be something of a tendency to take the conclusions people come to, for example, about Sun Wukong’s characteristic in his lego form & then assume that’s just reflective to Sun Wukong as a totality. I imagine a good portion of this is due to people not reading JTTW & especially to not having easy access to solid information or answers about JTTW’s many different facets (like geez awhile ago I was trying to get a clear answer on what is considered the most accurate translation of the names of Sun Wukong’s six sworn brothers & got like 5 different responses lmao), but that tendency to take a western fandom interpretation & run with it instead of doing any background research or questioning said interpretation is still very much at play. As such, & as made prominent in the way people have been interpreting the dynamic between Sun Wukong and the Six Eared Macaque in the lego monkey show, tbh it does seem kind of shitty for western creators & audience to sometimes go really out of their way to ignore all of this original cultural & narrative context for the sake of Angst (TM) in Macaque's favor, demonizing Sun Wukong, and shipping the monkey king with his evil twin (X_X).

And speaking of which, even beyond the potential inherent creepiness & revulsion that can be inspired by this specific ship given common interpretations of the og classic's original meaning (again, it's my understanding, given both summaries of translated Chinese academic texts I've been kindly provided with, my own reading of the Anthony C. Yu translation of JTTW, & vents from a number of Chinese people I've seen on this site, that the Six-Eared Macaque is commonly interpreted in China as having originated from Sun Wukong himself as a living embodiment of his worst traits, hence why only Buddha can tell the difference between them & why the monkey king is much more slow to violence after he kills the macaque), I'd argue that in the face of all the uwu poor widdle meow meow portrayals lego show Macaque is, especially if you include JTTW's events, still in the role of “Sun Wukong but worse” as he is very much a violent & selfish creep. Like he was basically running around in JTTW wearing a Sun Wukong fursuit, but there he had the sole reason of wanting to replace Sun Wukong wholesale so he could have all the good things in the monkey king's life without actually having to work as hard for them. But if you combine that with Macaque now claiming that he used to be best friend with Sun Wukong in his pre-journey days (something that's made funny from a JTTW context given that that status actually belongs to the Demon Bull King lol), his original violence has now blown into this centuries long and really unhealthy obsession with the monkey king. Like he's apparently gone from wanting to literally be Sun Wukong to being so obsessed with getting revenge on Sun Wukong that he's got basically nothing else going on in his life. Like he's only appeared in two episodes but...does he have any friends? Any family? A career or even a hobby that DOESN'T center the monkey king? Anything at all outside of his "get revenge on and/or kill Sun Wukong/use his successor as my personal punching bag” thing? Like dude! That is extremely creepy and extremely bad for everyone all around! As I’ve said before, this seeming refusal to see beyond the past or to do something that doesn’t involve Sun Wukong in some capacity is a trait that makes Macaque an interesting and somewhat tragic villain--he even seems to be working as Sun Wukong’s reflection in a mirror darkly, with lego show Sun Wukong pretty clearly not being able to heal from his own past which is hinted to be defined by one loss after another, and with Monkie Kid even kind of having these two characters somewhat follow their JTTW characterizations in that in the latter half of the journey Sun Wukong often gets sad & starts crying in the face of what seems insurmountable odds (& Monkie Kid Sun Wukong does seem to be hiding some serious depression behind a cheerful facade), whereas the Six-Eared Macaque retains a worse version of Sun Wukong’s pre-journey characteristic of getting pissed and lashing out if things don’t go his way--but it’s also what would make any current friendship or romantic relationship between these monkeys horrific. Although to be fair even the fandom seems to recognize this in an unconscious way, in that a lot of the art & fanfic seems to swing erratically between them kissing & screaming at each other in yet another example of bog-standard fandom adulation of romanticized toxic relationships lol.  

At the end of the day, of course, this is nothing new. You'll find versions of this dynamic across a ton of fandoms and now even canonical work. And as such, I can only look at this kind of popularized relationship dynamic with a kind of resigned weariness whenever it pops up, & my frustrated question with the popularity of this kind of pairing is the exact same one that I have for a multitude of blatantly toxic villain/hero ships, given common fandom discourse & the tendency to either ignore or justify the villain's actions & demonize the hero: if you're THAT convinced that everything is the hero's fault, if you believe THAT much that the hero is the one in the wrong for the villain's pain and their subsequent actions, then why are you so set on them not only becoming a romantic pair, but framing this get-together as a good thing? Like I know we contain multitudes but that's waaay too many contradictions for me to wrap my head around. And it definitely doesn’t help that one branch of underlying reasoning behind this kind of pairing seems to be the ever-present “you break it, you fix it” mentality, where the assumption is that if you’re in a failing, abusive, and/or generally toxic relationship (platonically or romantically), if you put in enough time and effort & attempts to compromise, you’ll be able to restore/have the relationship you dreamed of, even with someone who hurt you really badly. And this assumption isn’t limited to fandom: I’d even argue that it’s everywhere in the culture, hence why a lot of people feel like they “failed” if they have to get a divorce or make the choice to leave an unhealthy friendship. Personally, I feel like people could really benefit from more stories about how it is not only the case that the people you hurt don’t owe you their forgiveness & you can still become a better and happier person without the one you hurt in your life, & that while it can be really hard it can also be a good thing to leave a relationship, even if it’s one that once meant a lot to you. 

  But in all honestly, from my own perspective this kind of pairing is starting to read far less like enemies to lovers and far more like a horrible fantasy where you can pull whatever shit you want, even on the people you "love," & never be held accountable for your terrible behavior or even have to consider that maybe you were in the wrong. It's another facet that makes me larf every time I see people insist that fandom is an inherently "transformative" or "progressive" form of storytelling like friends you are literally just taking status quo toxic monogamy & rebranding it as somehow beneficial & romantic (X_X).

But as to anon’s last frustration, it is hard to know what is the appropriate response with this kind of thing...like for my own part I’m keeping my frustrations to my blog & now increasingly to posts that you would have to click on the “read more” button to see what I have to say, but I totally get the hesitation to give even a mild critique to big names in a fandom. Like I've now seen it happen repeatedly where someone who has a big name in a fandom will make something that's kind of shitty for one reason or another, someone will message them with some version of "hey, that's kind of shitty, you shouldn't do that," and the typical response is either to blatantly ignore the issue completely, or more popularly to make a giant crying circus that seems deliberately geared towards stoking emotions on both sides of the, for example, fiction does/doesn't affect reality issue so that something that didn't even have to be that big a deal gets blown out of all proportion, with the big name often framing what often started out as a very mild critique into a long crying jag about how the initial response to their kind of shitty thing was so mean/cruel and they're just a poor innocent & that YOU'RE the true racist/sexist/bigot etc. if you don't agree with their opinion. It must of course be noted that there have also been numerous instances of people taking it too far the other way & sending not just big names but smaller creators literal deaths threats over stuff like innocuous ships which like holy hell bells people that’s a horrible thing to do. But for the big names at least, the end result of all this fighting is usually that once the dust has settled they have more attention/fame/money/power in the fandom than before, and with anyone who might have a problem with their stuff feeling afraid to voice their opinion lest they be swarmed by that person's fans. In that way fandom does often seem to increasingly be geared towards presenting an��“official” fandom perspective about various facets of a piece of media instead of allowing for a multitude of interpretations, and with criticism, no matter its shape or form or how genuinely warranted it may be, being hounded out of existence. I feel like a lot of this could be made less bad if there wasn’t this constant assumption & even drive to think that a different interpretation of or criticism of your favorite work of fiction or your fanwork isn’t a direct claim that you are a thoroughly loathsome individual (& maybe also if people cultivated an enjoyment of learning things about important works from a culture outside their own, even if what you learn clashes with your own initial understandings), but I guess we’ll see if that ever happens. 

So these are my general thinks about the Six Eared Macaque’s current fandom meow meow status & some of my bigger gripes with fandom tendencies as a whole. I stand by my idea that the most interesting & beneficial route for Macaque moving forward would be a kind of “redemption without forgiveness from the ones you hurt” arc--as I think was done pretty excellently with the character Grace in Infinity Train--and if for no other reason than gosh dern this monkey really needs to cultivate some sort of identity beyond his “Sun Wukong but worse” persona. 

[starshipsofstarlord]

First things First | Jack Kline & Peter Parker

Summary; Peter sees his ex back in town. Last time she was with her brothers, but this time, she has another companion. His name is Jack Kline, and he is her current boyfriend.

Warnings; some angst, jealousy, a bit of trash talk, smidge of violence, one swear word

“You’re back then.” Peter noticed, following you as you walked through the school halls, your head down as you attempted to ignore him. But however, you knew that you couldn’t pretend he wasn’t there forever, and so you softly sighed.

Last time, you hadn’t been in town too long, only a few weeks, cases were sprouting up left right and centre in Queens, and that was enough time for a relationship to briefly brew between the pair of you.

However, when the entourage of hunts came to an end, it had only been fair to cut sweet Peter loose, you hadn’t planned to return in any soon time. And here you were, a year in a half later, back in his hometown.

“You’re eyes are quite inquisitive, Parker, or do you need to ask me to put rock salt on my skin to prove that I’m not a ghost?” You barked back, which earnt yourself a confused frown.

“What?” He asked in reply, confused by your wording.

“Never mind, you wouldn’t get it.” You dismissed, having already had the intel and advice from your brothers that two different worlds didn’t mix.

Peter was but a boy, a smart one, but for all that you were aware, he lived a mundane life. He was bullied at school, but he had a couple of friends, Ned and MJ.

MJ. She had liked Peter before you had disappeared in the impala, it wouldn’t be a surprise if the pair were together now. He had wanted to forget you, for causing him so much pain, he deserved to move on, as you had.

“What I got was that you told me you loved me, and then you went with the wind, and didn’t look back, not once.” He bit back, his statement making your body feel heavy.

It was guilt, a familiar feeling for a hunter. It often came when a life was lost by the life of a monster, and this time, it had been the same. You had taken away the happiness from your own life, you were the beast that ripped out someone’s heart.

“I did, but that doesn’t matter anymore Pete, I’m in love with somebody else. There’s nothing that I am entailed from hiding from him, no secrets, I can be myself with him.” You pursed your lips, relieved that you had got that off your chest.

“You never had to have secrets! Your family business is what dragged us down in the first place, you feel the need to follow your brothers around the world, and for what? To end up alone and unloved?”

“I love her.” Jack entered the hallway, he had been at the front office, asking about the plumbing, he said he heard a noise. It was what the victim had said before he died, and so the spawn of Lucifer was now questioning it.

Sam and Dean were downtown, at some bar, it had been where the victim had been, with a fake id, before his body had been found in the school bathroom. This left the group of you spread out, and operating around the city, wanting to find the creature that had ended the boy’s life.

Jack’s voice had been friendly, as though he were informing Peter of your relationship status. Neither of them knew each other, so he found no harm in letting the public know of your intimate bond.

The nephilim was most often than not a free speaker, he found no foul in letting his mouth run. He was so innocent, so pure, and perfect, you were pleased that you hadn’t tainted him nor gained his spite like you had with Peter.

“Jack, this is Peter. I met him last time I was around here. Peter, this is Jack, my boyfriend.” It was an awkward introduction, you held your hands together, watching as Jack held out his hand for your ex to shake.

Peter hesitantly shook Jack’s hand, lightly glaring at the boy. “It’s nice to meet a friend of y/n’s, not many that she has are her age.”

“Thanks for that Jack.” You laughed lightly, holding sweetly onto his arm, as to ensure him that he had done nothing wrong.

“We’re not friends.” Peter corrected him, squinting at you. “She doesn’t like the idea of any relationship with me, so she can pass on friendship.” He gave you one last look, before he walked away.

“Hi.” Jack saw your ‘friend’ in the hall, whilst you were questioning some other students. Peter reluctantly turned, going face to face with your boyfriend and partner in justifying crime.

“Hey.” His head briefly leant back, curious as to why the new boy was speaking to him. “Jack, right?”

“Yes, that is my name.” Jack nodded with a smile, the adorable gap in his teeth presenting itself clearly. “Have you felt any cold spots here recently, or smelt sulphur by any change?”

His question made Peter frown, he gulped and thought before he decided to answer. “I don’t know why your going around asking questions, but I also do not know why you’re dating y/n. She’ll break your heart, it’s what she does.”

“The two of you don’t sound like very good friends.” He speculated, tilting his head like a puppy dog, his bright eyes filled with curiosity.

“We weren’t just friends Jack, I’m surprised she didn’t tell you about me. Maybe there was a reason for that, you should ask her.” Peter crossed his arms, taking note of how he seemed to have angered the other boy.

The son of Lucifer was inhaling and exhaling through his nostrils, he was attempting to remain calm. But he couldn’t, his eyes seared with their golden pigment, and upon witnessing, Peter’s eyes widened and he was fast to sling webbing towards the mutant.

But it had no affect, not as Jack’s mouth opened, and a scream on another wavelength , which happened to throw the spider man backwards into the row of lockers. This was not normal, and Peter worried for the reason that you had the company of such a creature.

“What the hell are you?” Peter asked, wanting an answer so he could figure out a way to defeat him.

“I’m someone that loves y/n very much. Don’t worry, we won’t be in town much longer.” And with that, the strange and peculiar being walked away, leaving Peter stunned. For once, he wasn’t sure how he would improvise.

“You know the boy’s toilets are for guys, right?” Peter asked later in the day, as he watched you, whom was drenched in water, leave said restroom.

“I am more than aware, thankyou for that reminder Peter.” Each footstep dripped water upon the floor. That ghost had been a bitch to send off, but to your relief, you had done so.

“What are you doing here, really?”

“Don’t worry about it, I’m going to be leaving tonight, I’ll be all out of your hair.” You spoke, trying to remain calm with your previous partner. “Have you seen Jack?”

“About that...” he noticed how you furrowed your brow with his words, and realised it would be better to get straight to the point. “He’s not normal, there’s something different about him. He’s dangerous.”

“I guess you witnessed something... supernatural?” He slowly nodded his head, thinking about how it could be considered as such. “Jack, he’s a nephilim, half angel, half human. That’s why I can’t stick around, my life is messy, and I have a duty to save people, you understand that, right?”

“Why would I understand that?” He hesitated, his voice stepping over his words in a worried stutter. “Angels?!” He repeated.

“Yeah, not every takes lightly to the news, and a bit of information; the majority are dicks.” You laughed, shoving your hands in your soggy pockets. “You really think I didn’t have a clue that I was dating a spiderman? I investigate abnormal occurrences for a living, it was quite easy to notice something was different about you.”

“So you look into things like cold spots and sulphur smells?” He remembered that was what Jack had mentioned earlier. Perhaps the possibility of angels wasn’t half crazy, the universe was expanding. It was certainly out there, but so was a talking, moving tree that enjoyed digital games and was experiencing puberty.

“Exactly.” You smiled, looking into his deep brown eyes, and finding some kind of peace between the pair of you.

“I think I saw Jack in the library.” He scratched the back of his neck, deciding to be a bigger person and give into the planet’s order.

“Thanks, see ya around Parker.” That expression you gave him shouldn’t have made him feel so giddy, he knew that this was another goodbye you were sending him. But the relief on your faces was beautiful.

You walked momentarily backwards, and he raised his hand in a signalled send off. He hoped that one day, he would see you again, maybe even with Blade as he killed vampires. Who knew?

One thing he was aware of was that you were happy with Jack, and that the two of you shared a life. You had an even amount of knowledge between you, and as much as Peter hated to admit it, you weren’t bound to leave the nephilim any time soon.

[angelvyxen]

“𝐈’𝐦 𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐲, 𝐛𝐚𝐛𝐲.”

In which you’re Melo’s best friend & ex he’s not over

“What do you think of this?” You asked Melo as you turned around. He was laying back on your bed, scrolling through his phone. He moved his phone to the side and peeked over at you, “It’s straight.”

“It’s straight?”

“Yea, you look good.” He nodded.

You huffed and made your way towards your closet to rework your fit for the night again.

“C’mon bruh, I said you look straight! Why you changing again?”

“Because just looking ‘straight’ isn’t good enough. I need to look... I need to look..” you trailed off, looking for a word that encompasses just how much of a bad bitch you wanted to be tonight. "I need to look like City Girl meets Megan the Stallion."

"My nigga, what?"

"Just know I need to look good, Melo. Okay? Reef is going to be there tonight and I need to make sure I have every little bit of his attention."

Melo rolled his eyes from across the room when you mentioned Shareef.

"Man, fuck that nigga." You heard him grumble which made you laugh, asking,

"What do you have against Shareef?"

"I don't have anything against dude."

"Yes, you do. You've been on him since I mentioned I like him." You stepped out of your closet and leaned against the door frame to look him in the eyes.

"He's a bitch." He shrugged before looking back at his phone.

"What do you mean?"

"What I said. He's a bitch and you don't need to be associating with someone like that."

You rolled your eyes, "Negro, please," and stepped back into the closet. “You gotta chill on him.”

“How you Shaq’s son and still ain’t made it to the league yet?”

“He had health issues Melo, you know that. Please don’t go that low just because you don’t like him for no good reason.”

Melo sucked his teeth and leaned back on your bed, focusing back on his phone. “I got numerous good reasons.” He grumbled to himself.

“What was that?” You asked, poking your head out of the closet again.

“Nothing man! Finish getting ready, we late cause of you.”

“Uh huh, whatever.”

You settled for something basic, but cute. A pair of black jeans, your favorite color way of the Jordan 1s Melo had gotten you for Christmas last year and a matching graphic tee with some jewelry to bump up the outfit.

“You look good.” Melo remarked, his eyes following you as he opened the passenger door of his jet black Rolls-Royce Cullinan for you. You were happy you got to spend today with him. Both of your schedules never seemed to align anymore since the season started for him and you started a new job.

“Thank you best friend.” You grinned as you slid into the passenger seat of his car. He shut the door and walked around the car, opening his door and sliding into his own seat.

You held out your hand and he placed his phone in it before starting the car. As he was backing out of the driveway you unlocked his phone and went to his Apple Music. You scrolled through his playlists until you came to your favorite one, ‘Vibes 🥵🤞🏼💕’. You plugged in the aux cord before hitting shuffle and set his phone down. ‘Get you’ by Daniel Caesar started to play a few moments later. Melo raised his brows before a wide smile spread across his face and he said loudly, “Oh say less! Whatchu tryna do?”

“Boy, what are you talking about?” You giggled as you looked at the goofy expression on his face.

“You playing my grown folks music playlist, you tryna start something?” He looked over at you.

“Ew,” you scrunched up your face.

“Man don’t act like you don’t want this body.”

“Boy bye. I would never.”

“Oh word, so you wouldn’t kiss me right now?” He puckered his lips at you.

You shook your head and looked in the other direction, “Nope.”

“Girl stop playing and give me them lips.” He gently gripped your chin, forcing your head to turn and started to lean in close. This wouldn’t be the first time you kissed Melo. The nature of you two’s friendship was different than most. The two of you used to date but decided after a couple months that you’d be better as friends. Since you were already comfortable with one another, doing boyfriend-girlfriend things weren’t awkward. Long hugs, cuddling, and occasional kissing weren’t anything to you when it came to him.

Before both of your lips touched the car jerked to the side which made you realize he was still driving.

“Focus on the road!” You said sharply as the car jerked back to the opposite side, making it centered in the road again. Melo was laughing the entire time and you hit him in his chest, “That wasn’t fucking funny. I’m too young to die.”

“Relax, you still alive. Aren’t you? Always overreacting.”

You rolled your eyes and faced front, crossing your arms over one another.

“Aye,” he reached over and gently flicked your cheek, “Fix your face. The shit isn’t that serious for you to be catching an attitude over.”

You pushed his hand away, keeping your eyes in front of you.

“Cmon man, don’t start this. We were just having a good time.”

You kept quiet and you heard him sigh loudly. A second later you felt a hand on your thigh, rubbing up and down.

“You wanna get some food later?” He asked, knowing that that phrase alone would get your attitude in check.

“What kind?”

“Del Taco?”

You unfolded you arms and Melo laughed, “You so fucking fat.”

“Aht, don’t fuck up nigga. I’ll catch my attitude all over again.”

He nodded, “Heard you. I take it back.”

“As you should.” You said as you picked up your phone to play some games to pass the time. You settled on temple run, tapping your nails against the screen as you waiting for the game to load.

You squealed excitedly when you saw a text from Shareef pop up at the top of your screen. Melo glanced over at you confused as you typed up a response.

“Who you talking to?” He asked, trying to see what was happening on your phone screen.

“Shareef.” You answered and almost instantly heard him suck his teeth. You ignored his clear distaste for your crush and asked, “He asked if I’m sliding through, do you think ‘Yea, can’t wait to see you’ is good or does that make me sound too eager?”

“How about you just don’t text the nigga at all or you text him no and we just don’t go to the party at all.”

“Melo,” you whined, “I really like him, can you set aside the hate you have for him, please? For me?”

“Why do you even like him so much?”

“Well he’s kind,”

“Any one can be ‘kind’. Next.”

“He makes me laugh,”

“That’s not a valid reason. Clowns can do that. Then again, he is a clown ass nigga so,” Melo shrugged his shoulders and you rolled your eyes, deciding to ignore the statement.

“He’s cute,”

“He look like a big toe.”

“Melo! No he does not!”

“Yes he do. And his teeth all crooked. He need some braces. In fact, remind me to give dude my dentist’s number.”

You rolled your eyes and continued to list your reasons,

“He listens to me,”

Melo sucked his teeth, “So I don’t listen to you?”

“Where did you even get that from? See, now you’re just pulling shit out of thin air to be mad about. What is your problem?”

“Nothing. I just think it’s wild how this nigga come into the picture and all of a sudden I’m getting wiped out of it.”

“Melo what are you talking about?”

“So we just about to act like you haven’t been texting or calling me as much? And we finna act like you don’t want to come see me no more cause you’re always with him?”

“That is not true.”

“Yes it is. Wasn’t it just last week I offered to fly you out to Houston to see my game and you said no cause you and that nigga was supposed to be hanging out all weekend?”

“Oh my God, you still mad about that? Grow up.”

“Grow up? So it’s just fuck my feelings now cause he here?”

“How am I supposed to get to know him if I’m always with you?! I can have a life outside of you LaMelo!” You raised your voice slightly as you started to get heated. You didn’t understand why he wasn’t happy for you, he was supposed to be your friend.

“Why do you even want to get to know him! Ain’t shit to know! He don’t do shit, he don’t have shit but his daddy’s money and a fucked up hairline anyways!”

“Okay, now you’re about to get me mad.”

“Oh me talking about your lil boyfriend make you mad? Man fuck him! It’s not like he’s about to wife you no how! He’s probably trying to hit it and quit it, it’s not like you hard to get at.”

You stared at him for a second, wanting to believe that he didn’t just say what he said out of spite of all things.

“Fuck you! Don’t be mad at me because you’re too attached to me to get your own girlfriend!”

“Oh, I’m too attached now? That’s what we going with?”

“Nigga that’s what’s been happening! You’re so jealous you can’t even let me be happy!”

The two of you pulled up in front of the house party and he stopped the car, leaned back in his seat and looked down at you.

“Alright shut the fuck up. You about to get me hot.”

“Now you want to be a pussy when I tell you the truth. Typical.”

“I said shut the fuck up bruh. I’m not tryna get mad at you.”

You turned towards him in your seat, “You know what your problem is? You can’t get over that lil relationship we had. You need to build a bridge and leave that shit in the past, it was never that serious.” You said. Deep down you didn’t mean it but he already took the argument too far by calling you an easy fuck.

His jaw clenched as he ground his teeth behind his closed lips and his brows furrowed ever so slightly, leaving a small crease in his forehead.

“Oh, so now you don’t got shit to say no more?” You questioned, looking up at him.

He picked up his key and phone, opened the door and got out of the car, slamming the door behind him. You watched as he was walked into the party leaving you behind. You blew out some air to calm yourself down before grabbing your things and getting out.

When you walked into the house you couldn’t spot Melo anywhere but your attention was quickly taken away from trying to find him when you felt an arm snake around your waist. You looked up at Shareef, a smile spreading across your face.

“Hey!” You greeted.

“Hey. You look good.” He replied, pulling you into a quick side hug. “Those shoes are fire.”

“Thank you.”

“I didn’t think you were coming still. You read my text and didn’t reply.”

“Oh! My bad I just.. I got distracted on my way here.”

“Uh huh. You came with your boy?” He asked referring to Melo.

“Yeah.”

“He just walked in here looking mad at the world. Y’all had an argument or sum in the car?”

Shareef started to walk you around the house, away from the main party.

“Something like that. We just didn’t see eye to eye on something.. can we not talk about him, I’m here with you right now, I want to focus on you.” You looked up at Shareef, smiling.

For the next couple hours you hung out with Shareef in the backyard by the fire pit. There were a couple chairs set up in a circle around it so the both of you made yourselves welcome. The two of you talked about any and everything, only leaving to go refill your drinks a few times throughout the night.

“So that’s why I decided to do indisciplinary studies instead of just majoring in one thing.”

You nodded as Shareef finished telling you about his college plans. You liked that he was so goal focused and not all of his goals in life pertained to having a career in the nba like his dad.

“So-” you were cut off by the sound of a familiar voice.

“Yo!”

Both you and Shareef turned to be met with his friend Josh Christopher who you’ve only met a handful of times, another 2 friends you didn’t know and.. Melo.. with a girl under his arm. They all had girls with them but Melo stuck out to you the most.

“Y’all mind if we sit?” Josh asked, already picking a chair and sitting down.

“Go ahead.” Reef said and you just smiled politely watching all of them sit and pull the girls they were with into their laps since there weren’t enough chairs.

You crossed your ankles, feeling uncomfortable as Melo took a seat directly across from you. You still felt tense about the argument the two of you had earlier but he didn’t seem to care much anymore as he was feeling up the girl, who wouldn’t stop giggling, in front of you.

Everyone started to talk as a group and you said a few things here and there but mainly kept to yourself.

“So, Reef,” Josh said getting everyone’s attention, “I don’t mean to be nosy or nothing.. but imma be nosy, what’s going on with you and her?” He nodded his head towards you.

“Whatchu mean?” Shareef laughed

“You know what I mean. Is that your girl? Is future Mrs. O’Neil in our presence?”

Shareef looked over at you, “You wanna be future Mrs. O’Neil?” He asked, a wide smile on his face.

You returned the smile and shrugged, “Maybe, maybe not. We’ll see.” You laughed. You managed to catch Melo’s glare as you turned your head. He had completely stopped giving the girl in his lap attention and his eyes were dead set on you as he wore the same expression he did in the car before he stormed out earlier.

You ignored his dirty look and him, looking back at Shareef as the two of you got back into your own conversation.

“Did I already tell you you look good tonight?” He asked as he moved closer to you.

“I believe you did.” You grinned, also moving closer to him. You had already shut Melo out of your mind.

“Well, just to let you know, you look good tonight.” He commented and you responded with a giggle, “Nah, but for real, you look good. I like your makeup and that shiny stuff you got on your lips.”

“My lipgloss?” You questioned, cocking a brow at the fact he acted as though he didn’t know what lipgloss was.

“Mhm. It smells nice. Like strawberries.”

“It’s strawberry flavored. Fun fact.”

“Does it taste like strawberries too?” He was getting very close to your face, you could almost feel his breath against you.

You leaned in, further closing the small gap between you two and whispered, “Find out.”

You were caught of guard when instead of feeling Shareef’s lips against yours you felt yourself getting pulled back and stood up. You looked back as you were quickly being dragged away from the group and of course, Melo was the one pulling you away.

He was facing the house so you couldn’t see his face.

“Melo! Let me go!” You struggled out, trying to yank your arm out of his grip, which only made him hold on tighter.

“Aye!” You looked back at the group, seeing Shareef stand up while everyone else looked amongst themselves in confusion.

Shareef grabbed your free arm making Melo stop and look back at him.

“Whatchu doing bruh? Let her go.” Reef said as he tugged you towards him.

“Imma give you 2 seconds to let go of her before I punch you dead in your shit.”

“I don’t want to fight you. We in public bro, just chill out and let her go.”

“One.”

“I know you her friend and all but you’re overdoing this shit. I know you’re not about to hit me in front of all these-”

Before Shareef could finish his sentence, one of Melo’s fists went flying at his face. Luckily, he dodged it but that didn’t stop Melo from swinging again.

“Melo! Chill out!” You placed a hand on his chest and pushed him back.

“Yo, go talk to your boy. He wildin’.” Shareef had already let you go by now.

“I will. Don’t go anywhere, I’ll be back.” You told him as Melo had already started pulling you away again.

“You won’t.” You heard Melo grumble as he pulled out through the back door of the house.

“Slow down!” You said as he brought you upstairs before opening a door and pushing you inside the room. The door closed and you heard a click as the door locked. He flipped on the light and you could now see he brought you into a bathroom.

You looked back at him, an angry expression on your face. “What the fuck is wrong with you?” He didn’t respond as he backed you up into the counter behind you. He reached behind you and picked up a small towel and then grabbed your face. “What are you-”

“Shut the fuck up. Damn! You talk to much.” He cut you off harshly before starting to roughly wipe the lipgloss off of your lips.

“You got me all the way fucked up right now.” He continued to grumble as he flipped on the tap behind you and wet the towel before bringing it back to your lips and wiping again, “Do it taste like strawberries too? Find out,” he mocked, “I can’t believe your ass.” He grumbled as he continued to wipe.

You pushed his hand away from your mouth, “What is your issue?!”

“Don’t ask me no stupid shit like that. You know exactly what my issue is.”

“No, I don’t. I don’t see why you had to come and embarrass me in front of everyone like that.” You hit his chest which made him take a step back.

“I embarrassed you?” He said shocked, as if he wasn’t the one in the wrong.

“YES!” You said louder than you had intended for it to come out. You almost felt like crying thinking back on what had just taken place. “What is your issue today?! First you basically call me an easy hoe in the car and now this?! Did you even for a second stop to think about my feelings?!”

“No.” He shrugged, “Cause you never thought about mine. And don’t act like you didn’t say some foul shit too. Our relationship ‘was never that serious’ you remember that?”

“You can’t use that against me, you’re the one that started everything. I don’t understand why you can’t just be happy for me.”

“Be happy for you?” He made a face, “How do you expect me to be happy seeing the woman I love move on and rub that shit in my face? You want me to be happy about that? I tried to tolerate it but you want me to keep a straight face and act like it doesn’t bother me when you give another nigga attention the way you use to give me?” He stepped closer to you, now only a few centimeters separated both of your bodies, “You expect me to sit up here with a straight face as you’re about to kiss someone else? I admit, I was wrong for doing that in front of all those people but can you blame me?… I thought I could keep my shit together and be just friends with you but to be honest,”

He he cut himself off and picked you up and placed you on the counter, standing in between your legs and placed both his hands on either side of you before saying, “I didn’t want to break up to begin with. I’m greedy baby. Ion wanna share you with nobody.” His soft lips brushed against yours before capturing them in a warm kiss. You wrapped your legs around his waist, pulling him closer as your arms snaked around his neck.

His lips moved down to your neck, you moaned as you felt his teeth gently bite down on your skin while he kissed and sucked around the area. You already knew he’d leave a hickey. One of his hands started to creep up your shirt, gently tracing your stomach before making its way to your back and unhooked your bra. He pulled away from your neck and pulled your shirt off of you from the bottom, up and discarded it behind him before sliding each of your bra straps off your shoulders and tossing the bra on the floor like he did your shirt.

He placed his lips back on yours as his both of his hands started to fondle your breasts. He lightly squeezed the left one and pinched your right nipple with his other hand which made you squeal. He chuckled into the kiss and did it again, this time pinching both nipples harder than he had before which evoked the same sound from you.

“Be gentle, they’re sensitive.” You mumbled.

“I know,” he mumbled back, repeating the same action again, smiling as he watched you pull away from the kiss, throwing your head back slightly with your eyes shut tightly, “That’s why I like doing it.”

He brought you back into the kiss, moving his hands from your breasts (to your relief) and placed them by your sides. A moment later his hands got busy again, with his right one unzipping your jeans while the left one spread your legs further. His right hand snaked into your pants. You were dripping in anticipation, waiting to feel his fingers stroke your sensitive skin but instead he touched you from outside your panties. You felt his index finger rub your clit through the thin fabric and whimpered out needily, “Melo please,” you said breathlessly, breaking the kiss.

“Please, what?”

“Touch me.” It was torture having his finger so close but feeling so far.

Instead of doing what you asked oh so kindly for he removed his hand and went back to undressing you. He stepped back and grabbed one of your feet, untying one of your sneakers and setting it down on the ground before moving to the other one, untying the laces painfully slow. Once your sneakers were off he grabbed the waistband of your jeans and started to pull the article of clothing off of your legs. Once half your thigh was exposed he bent down and pressed a kiss on one of your thighs. “This was always my favorite part of your body.” He said quietly as he continued to pull your jeans down your legs. He pulled them off the rest of the way and let them fall to the ground after he pulled them off your ankles.

He refocused his attention back on your thighs, pressing a few, scattered, soft kisses on them as he inched back up towards your pussy. He licked your inner thigh, making you shiver before saying, “This,” he took his index finger and pressed it directly against your clit, “Is my second favorite part of you.”

Your hands grabbed the hem of your panties and tried to pull them down but he stopped you, lightly smacking away your hands and stood up straight once more.

“Melo..” you whined as you watched his lips stray farther and farther away from your pussy.

“Uh uh, no whining, you fucked up yourself.” He leaned in close, “What’s my one rule when we making love?”

“Not to touch myself.” You replied quietly, “But you were teasing.”

“That don’t matter my love.” He pecked your lips, “A rule is a rule.”

He pulled away and took off his shirt. You watched as his tanned abs and then his number 1 tattoo on his chest were exposed. He dropped his shirt on the ground and you took in his appearance for a second. His gold chains were shining under the light. You watched as he slipped off his shoes and then took a step back before waving you over and then pointing a finger down on the ground. You slid off the counter and got your knees in front of him. No words needed to be said, you knew what he wanted. You slid his slim-fit sweatpants down his legs. He made it easier for you by kicking them off his ankles.

You reached up, your hands feeling the bulge in his underwear. You looked up into his eyes, putting on your most innocent look face as your lips pressed against his tip through the fabric before you lightly drug your tongue against it. You could feel his hard on strain against the fabric as you did so. You, wanting him in your mouth already and too eager to continue teasing, pulled his underwear down his legs. His dick sprung out, almost hitting his stomach.

Your mouth hung open slightly as your eyes focused on all maybe 8 or 9 inches of his length. It throbbed slightly, some precum leaking out of the tip and down the base. Melo grabbed the base of his dick and guided it towards your lips, only needing to say “Open,” before you parted your lips and let him push each inch into your mouth.

You bobbed your head, guiding your tongue all along his length, outlining each vein, before moving it back to the tip, swirling it around. “Fuck,” he rasped out as his hands tangled in your hair, giving him a good grip on your head. He tried to push more of himself into your mouth but you stopped him, pulling back. “It can’t fit all in my mouth,” you said, using the time his dick was out of your mouth to catch your breath. “We’ll make it fit down your throat then.” He said as he pushed his shaft back into your mouth. When you felt his tip hit the back of your throat you gagged loudly to which he instructed, “Relax. Relax your throat.”

You did as he said, relaxing the best you could as you felt the tip of his dick move past the back of your throat and downward. You watched as each inch disappeared and your nose pressed against his stomach. “Good girl,” you heard him remark in a breathy moan. He pulled back again to let you breath before pushing his entire length down your throat once more. He got into rhythm, fucking your throat and guiding your head. It got sloppy quick, saliva dripping off of his dick and onto the floor and onto the both of you in the process. He thrusted down your throat one last time before cumming with a loud moan. You nearly choked as he came ropes down your throat without warning but somehow survived it without one gag. He pulled his saliva coated dick out of your mouth with a satisfied sigh and you swallowed the left over cum and saliva in your mouth.

He scooped you up and you felt yourself being set back on the counter. To your surprise he kissed you, rolling his tongue against yours as he slipped off your panties. Your juices had leaked through them and were starting to come down your legs. Something about sucking dick made you so horny. Melo’s head dipped down but you grabbed it, saying, “Just fuck me.” You didn’t even want head anymore. He did as you wanted, pressing his tip against your entrance before pushing in each inch of his dick slowly. You let out a satisfied moan, enjoying the feeling of having him back inside you after so long. He placed his head in the crook of your neck as his dick bottomed out inside you and you gripped his shoulders. You felt his lips brush against your ear before hearing, “It feels so good to be in my pussy again,” before he pulled out and thrust back in roughly, “And no other nigga better have been in it.” You let out a moan in response while shaking your head.

He fucked you like a mad man, thrusting in out of you faster and harder than you could comprehend. Your eyes started to subconsciously roll to the back of your head and your mouth hung open as a trail of endless moans left your lips. “You feel so good,” he whispered in your ear which set you off. You cleaned around his shaft, your nails gripped his back tighter and you started to cum all over his dick to which he responded with a groan saying, “You don’t know how good that feels,”

He fucked you on the counter for a few more minutes before you felt yourself getting picked up. Without missing a beat, or pulling out of you he switched your position, having you now bent over the counter. He gave your head him towards the mirror, “I want you to watch while we make love.” He leaned in close, switching the pass or his thrusts. “How does it feel?” He asked as he placed a kiss on your neck.

“I-it feels..” you struggled to get out, trying to keep your head up like he wanted.

The kisses moved from your neck to your cheek, “How it feel baby, talk to me.”

“It feels good.” You moaned out, “It feels so good daddy.”

“There you go,” he said as his thrusts picked up again. You let out another embarrassingly loud moan when you felt his fingers rub your very sensitive clit and he asked, “You love me? Hm?” Before feeling a kiss on your shoulder blade.

“Yes baby, oh my god, I love you so muchhh.”

He chuckled before using his free hand to face your face towards him. He pressed his lips against yours, trying to give you a kiss but you were moaning too much to kiss him back. He faced your head back towards the mirror, “You not letting no nigga take my place again, right?”

“Noo, never again,” you replied breathlessly before letting out another loud moan as you came everywhere once again.

“Good.” He placed a small peck on your cheek and let go of your head and moved his other hand from your pussy. He then gripped both of your arms and held them behind your back as he stood up straight and fucked you mercilessly.

——————————

I didn’t think I’d finish this today, but here I am, hours later lmao. I hope you all enjoyed. People have been asking me to do an imagine where Melo likes his best friend and they have sex for so long lmao so I hope this satisfied those anons.

Side note: imagine Melo telling you he doesn’t want to share you with nobody else but himself 😩

Please excuse any errors. I’m tired lol.

[thewistlingbadger]

Harry Potter criminal minds headcanons

It's not my fault if you didn't see this coming. It's spooky season and I'm gay. You really thought i wasn't gonna combine my current hyperfixation and Harry Potter? At least I'm a reasonable bitch, my explanations for all the sortings are in blue. These are all my opinion and i am open to discussion of different views than mine on the subject of if i put any characters in the wrong house

Luke: Hufflepuff. He has an abundance of undying loyalty.

Matt: Gryffindor. The way he treats his family and wife.

Tara: Slytherin. Her attitude, smarts, and the way she joined the BAU.

Kate Callahan: Gryffindor. Before she was at the BAU she went undercover to take down a guy. That takes guts. Plus the way she treats her niece.

Alex Blake: Ravenclaw. She's a linguist and has a doctorate.

Hotch: Gryffindor. He wanted to be a hero for his son and in the process he became a father who wasn't around. Even then he still focused on his job until his wife dies because of it, making him have to step into his role as a father. He loves his son and he stands by the actions of his team.

Derek: Gryffindor. He doesn't value intelligence and he's not ambitious because then he would have taken the New York post. He doesn't like to be a leader which leans to Hufflepuff, who are more relaxed people. He had loyalty to his team but he lies a lot to a lot of different people which isn't Hufflepuff like. The way he carries himself screams Gryffindor, but he's one of those more sneaky Gryffindors.

JJ: Slytherin. I hope I'm not putting her here because I want her to be more interesting lol. I don't feel like she fits with the other houses. Hufflepuffs value friendship, kindness, honesty and loyalty. When I think of these things, I don't think of JJ. JJ isn't really nice and like Derek she'll lie to you. But Derek with holds information while JJ straight up lies to you in your face. If she valued honestly she wouldn't have lied to the team about Emily or her time at the pentagon. I didn't put her in Gryffindor either because Gryffindors are brave, and her lies make her seem like a coward. Everything she does is to raise herself up. She did the pentagon job and left with more prestige and she came back to the BAU as a profiler, not a communication liaison. She left her home time and never looked back because the town was holding her back. And then there's Spencer and Will which seems self explatory.

Emily: Hufflepuff. I actually think Emily has many Hufflepuff qualities. I think she values fairness and she's shown us time and time again that she's honest (for the most part) and she values her friendships. She's ride or die when it comes to the team. She didn't go out to find leadership, the leadership found her and it fit her well. Imy split between Gryffindor and Hufflepuff for her because I feel like a Hufflepuff would hate having to lie about being dead to their family and they would feel really bad after it. We didn't really see that a lot with Emily but I'm willing to let it slide because the writers suck.

Rossi: Gryffindor. Rossi has small quantities from all the houses. He's cunning, he has wisdom, he likes to cook, etc. I'm putting him in Gryffindor because at the end of the day he's on the job for the thrill. He didn't come back to the BAU for titles, there was no gain to it in that way. But he missed the adventure it had to it.

Elle: Slytherin. Bad bitch. Bad bitch behavior is what Elle Greenaway has shown us all. We can start with the fact that she murdered a rapist out of spite while on the job. Or her snideness towards anyone who so much as even glances at her the wrong way or who she finds slightly annoying. She's a bad bitch, what can I say?

Gideon: Ravenclaw. It's the birds and his methods for me. Who else fucking screams in a house where a family was kidnapped and then murdered. Who else lays down on the bed of which a woman was raped just so he could see what she saw? Though there's madness in his methods, they have reason too. The amount of creativity and intelligence he has about his job is astounding. Also, the way he leaves the show. He decides that he wants to settle down. He's basically brunt out and isn't that every Ravenclaw ever?

Spencer: Hufflepuff. I don't think he's a Slytherin. Although it takes ambition to become the youngest agent in the BAU and to get 3 degrees I can't really say he was doing it for his own agency and that's why I'm hesitant to put him in Ravenclaw. Of course he's smart, but does he really value it? Does he retain knowledge because it's his passion, or because of his mother who has always thought of him as a miracle and if he doesn't use his gifts then what does that make him? We know canonically Spencer is unsure of his identity. He doesn't know who he is because of how long he's been living the way hes been told to live. Read as fast as you can, let's see how far you can go. When I think about Reid as a person, I think of his infinite selflessness. He's always putting himself directly in harm's way when there's a safer way to do things. A true Ravenclaw would take as little risks as they possibly could. Reid doesn't do this. But once again the line is murky because is he being selfless? Or is he purposely throwing himself in harm's way out of his own self hatred? Like many times before, we're now left with Hufflepuff and Gryffindor. Spencer truly loves his family, blood and not blood related (minus his dad fuck that guy). There's some cases where he has loyalty (him being pissed at Cat for all the pain she's caused Penelope and because of that he says that the only way she's walking out of there is if she shoots him in the face.) But to me it feels more like being attached? He was bitchy toward Emily when she first joined because she replaced Elle and when Derek left he was upset for the rest of the show. He went over to Emily's house to pout because she "wasn't fighting for them". But he is very kind and fair, even with cat he could have done literally anything else but he's always been tolerant with her. Because of this I think I have to put him in Hufflepuff.

Penelope: Ravenclaw. oh Penelope. Sweet "baby girl" Penelope. Whatever are we to do with her. She would be a hat stall for sure. She shows characteristics from a houses. She's as resourceful and determined as a Slytherin, as clever and witty as a Ravenclaw, as kind and patient as a Hufflepuff and she's got bravery for sure. I can't say she best fits in Hufflepuff Because there's just so much more to her. She prides herself in being able to get the right answer everytime as fast as she can. For that, I put her in Ravenclaw.

[babyboibucky]

Babysitting Bucky - Part 6

Pairing: FATWS!Bucky x Reader

Word Count: 2,217

Summary: You’ve been assigned by the government to keep an eye on the Winter Soldier to ensure that he was no longer a threat to the world.

Warnings: Implied oral (F receiving) wink wink, mention of self-harm

A/N: My works are rarely proofread because I’m a mediocre bitch like that lmfao. Thank you to everyone who signed up to my masterlist and for all the feedback!!! I really love reading everyone’s reactions, reblogs and comments are highly appreciated luv u all xoxo

Also, I can’t tag some of those who requested to be in my taglist, I apologize :(

MASTERLIST

-

You were out of it the entire night of the stakeout; your mind always found its way back to how Bucky looked like when he got out of the shower. It was as if it was imprinted in your brain, how his vibranium arm glistened beneath the dim motel light and how low his towel hung around his waist easily showing off that glorious V-cut that led down to his—

“Jesus Christ.” You huffed out quietly as you laid in bed.

Bucky volunteered to take the first shift so you could get some sleep in before your turn. Given that you haven’t gotten enough rest since your arrival at the compound, you knew better than to argue.

Despite Bucky’s half-naked body plaguing your thoughts, sleep came to you easily.

-

Something hard and cold being wrapped around your arm slowly stirred you from your sleep. You managed to ignore it until you felt the same sensation again, but this time on your legs down to your ankles.

You gasped awake when your legs were pulled apart, “What the fuck?!” You exclaimed upon seeing none other than the Winter Soldier in between your legs.

He looked up at you with dark eyes, something you’ve never seen on him before. “It’s okay, Agent.” He cooed and pressed an open-mouthed kiss on your right leg, eliciting a soft whimper from you.

“What are you—“

“You were moaning my name is your sleep.” He said, voice an octave lower and rough around the edges.

Your heart was pounding so fast that you could literally hear and feel it. This was so wrong and yet you couldn’t bring yourself to shove Bucky away, especially when he was pressing soft kisses towards the inside of your thighs.

“Mister Barnes, I don’t think—“

“Bucky.”

The way Bucky said his name was unlike any other. It was downright commanding and the authority that oozed from his tone made your stomach flutter. You could feel yourself start to get wet at how Bucky’s metal hand pried your legs even wider.

“I want you to call me Bucky when I make you cum. You hear me, Agent?”

You could nod in response, licking your lips in anticipation.

“Agent?”

You hummed again.

“Agent? Hey...”

You felt a couple of taps on your arm before your eyes snapped open. Sitting up immediately, you found yourself staring at Bucky who was looking at you suspiciously.

“It’s time for your shift, Agent.” He said.

You frantically looked around the motel room and then back up at Bucky who looked just as confused at your demeanor. Blood rushed to your face when you finally realized what had just happened.

You had a fucking wet dream about Bucky Barnes. What the actual fuck?!

“Are you...okay?” Bucky asked again.

“Yes. Yes I am okay, Mister Barnes.” You answered quickly with a frantic nod. “Can you...” you said holding a finger at Bucky and avoiding his gaze as you got up from your bed.

“I’m sorry can you just...let me just...I...bathroom real quick.” You stammered and rushed into the bathroom, locking it immediately before resting your head against the door.

You were sweating all over when you faced the mirror and your face was red as fuck. Not only did your dream fluster you, but it turned you on as well and now you needed to find release.

How the fuck were you going to face Bucky now?!

You splashed your face with water hoping that it’d calm you down but the throb was just not going away. Would it be unprofessional to rub one out during a stakeout? You were embarrassed at your thoughts but the dream really did a number on you and you weren’t sure if the throb was something you can ignore.

Just as when you zipped down your jeans, a series of loud knocks made you jolt.

“Agent? Are you okay in there?” Bucky asked as he continued to knock.

“Uhh, yes. I’ll be out in a sec!” You called out in panic.

“Are you sure? Do you need anything? Like...a pad or something...” Bucky asked, voice soft and uncertain as if he was ashamed of his question.

It was a sweet thing for Bucky to do, considering that you jumped out of bed and rushed to the bedroom. You understood why he thought you got your period. You’d take that over him finding out the real reason why you were so flustered.

Deciding to simply ignore how wet you actually were, you straightened up and opened the door before Bucky could even knock again.

“I’m fine, Mister Barnes.” You told him but refused to meet his gaze.

Bucky narrowed his eyes at you, “Are you sure?” He asked again.

You just nodded and moved past him, unable to ignore how he smelled divinely good when you caught a whiff of his scent as you walked away from him. You sat down on the chair he situated right in front of the window and tried to focus on the task at hand.

“You know, you can drop the act, Agent.” Bucky said.

You heard his footsteps behind you, followed by some shuffling and then the squeaking of the mattress. You still refused to look back at him.

“I don’t think I understand what you mean by that, Mister Barnes.” You said and bit your lip when you heard a couple more shuffling from behind.

“You being too formal around us...around me.” Bucky said.

You rolled your eyes, “I’m just being professional. This is a job after all. I’d like to keep things formal.” You explained.

You were doing pretty well at hiding the fact that you were internally screaming. Never have you experienced such distress during a mission. You’ve been tasked to undercover plenty of times now, most of which required you to work with dangerous men and women but you never faltered.

It’s as if Bucky Barnes had a different effect on you and what you hated the most was that he was just being himself and yet you were losing your mind.

“I’m still not giving up on making you call me Bucky.” He said with a soft chuckle.

His statement turned you red from the memory of your dream, when he asked you to call him that before he dove right into your—

“Hey, Agent...” Bucky snapped you out of your dirty thoughts.

You cleared your throat, finally turning to look at him, “Yes, Mister Barnes?”

He was situated on his bed, fluffing out the pillows. “I don’t have to be formal around you, right? I mean...it’s not like I am expected to do so given that you were sent to babysit me. See what I do on the daily...” Bucky was on to something, you could hear the playfulness in his voice.

When you didn’t respond, he merely shrugged before laying down and pulling the covers. However, you swore you saw his lips tug into a smirk before turning around on the bed, facing the wall. You stared at Bucky’s back for a good few seconds before facing the window again, wondering what his question meant.

You tried not to think about your dream. That was all that was, a stupid fucking wet dream.

-

It seemed to be uneventful during your shift since there wasn’t anything suspicious happening at the fruit shop. It was closed and no one came by nor passed by since then. You decided to work on your reports to pass the time; not that you had plenty of things to write down. There wasn’t really anything important to report about Bucky.

You’d been stressing over Secretary Ross’ suggestion to trigger Bucky during the stakeout. That man really wanted you to spite Bucky and get a reaction, you were starting to question the reason why they sent you on this mission.

Your thoughts were abruptly interrupted when you heard Bucky grunt and murmur inaudible things in his sleep. You turned around and saw him tossing and turning in bed; his brows were creased and bullets of sweat began to form on his forehead.

“No...please no...” he murmured as his metal arm began to jolt.

You noticed how Bucky seemed to be holding down his own arm, as if preventing it from further moving. He kept on groaning in his sleep and when he began breathing heavily, you hopped out of your seat and went over to his bed.

“Mister Barnes, wake up.” You felt stupid for simply calling him out instead of shaking him awake.

It worried you that he might not respond well to being touched, especially during a nightmare. However, he kept on grunting and panting that it was starting to worry you.

Carefully, you placed a hand on Bucky’s face and tried to gently soothe him.

“Mister Barnes, come on. Wake up.” You coaxed but to no avail.

Bucky’s movements were becoming violent in the sense that he was restraining himself. His other hand grabbed at his shoulder where the vibranium prosthetic was connected at. He started clawing at it as if wanting to remove it and it was at the moment that you started shaking him awake.

“Wake up, Mister Barnes!” You called out but he wasn’t responding.

Afraid that he might end up hurting himself, you sat down on the bed and took his face in between your palms.

“Mister Barnes, wake up...Mister Bar— Bucky, wake up!”

As if on cue, Bucky’s eyes opened as he gasped awake. His chest heaving as he tried to catch his breath. You could see the fear in his eyes as he frantically blinked. Your body seemed to have moved on their own because you realized that your thumbs have been caressing his face.

“You’re alright, Bucky. You were just having a nightmare.” You murmured.

Bucky panted and closed his eyes for a brief moment, as if he was trying to regain his senses. And when he opened them, he was directly looking at you with an expression you couldn’t explain. What you do know was that it made you feel things you’ve never felt before.

Definitely not lust, of course. Something else, something that you chose to push back and ignore.

“You okay?” You asked and and let go of Bucky’s face before standing up to give him space as he sat up on the bed.

Bucky swallowed hard and buried his face i to his palms, nodding his head as a response. You went over to the table and grabbed a bottle of water, twisting the cap open before handing it to Bucky who murmured a soft thank you.

“I didn’t hurt you, did I?” He asked worriedly.

You shook your head, “No, not at all. I was more afraid that you might hurt yourself.” You admitted and walked over to your own bed, sitting down on it.

“How bad was it?” You asked curiously. “Your dream.” You quickly added.

Bucky chuckled before running a hand through his hair, “At this point I couldn’t tell. I’ve gotten used to it. But I didn’t wake up with gashes on my shoulder so it’s not the worse.”

It made you feel bad that Bucky seemed to humor himself and his tendency to inflict pain on his own skin. Despite his nonchalant laughter, you could see the pain and exhaustion in his eyes. How could a man put up to such experience every night?

“Thank you, Agent.” Bucky’s soft voice echoed in the air.

“For what?”

“For waking me up. Not everyone would do that, most would be scared to do so. Who knows what I could’ve done, right?”

You shook your head, “You would’ve done nothing. You are your own person now, you could do no wrong.”

Bucky smiled at you, one that wasn’t forced. It was a smile of genuine amusement. “Careful, Agent. If your boss heard you he might think you’re getting all soft on me.” He teased.

It was a joke of course, you were aware of that. But it also made you realize that there was truth in Bucky’s statement and it scared you. You’ve never felt so personally affected by someone you haven’t known for so long. Perhaps it was because you’ve read too many things about him? Was it out of pity? The guy had been tormented for decades, it really wasn’t that hard to empathize. Whatever the reason was, you knew it was inappropriate for you to feel a certain way.

Bucky must have noticed how you stiffened and quickly spoke up, “I was just teasing, Agent.” He reassured.

“But really, thank you. And it was nice to finally hear you call me Bucky.” He said.

It was a slip of the tongue but not entirely. He wasn’t responding to you the first few times you woke him up. It made sense for you to call him Bucky to wake him up from his nightmare. And although his preferred name felt so much better to say, you needed to hold back.

You got up from your bed and went back to your position right in front of the window, feeling Bucky’s gaze follow you as you moved around.

“I just did what I needed to do. Don’t get used to it, Mister Barnes.”

And just like that, your cold and firm demeanor was back.

-

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[usernamesuggestionsarefunny]

Am I the only one who hates alternative timelines as a concept, plot device, fucking everything? Am I the only one who doesn´t find them exciting? Don´t get me wrong, I am excited for the next phase, but it is only because of the characters and in spite of the concept.

1. It ruins time travel as a concept because it is such an easy cop out around the problem of paradoxes, and makes all reunions with family members or whatever meaningless because THOSE ARE NOT “YOUR” LOVED ONES, they are the loved ones of another you from another reality. That might not mean anything to some but is a dealbreaker for me (Which is yet another reason why Steve´s ending is bizarre as fuck, not “romantic”, dude, there is another version of yourself frozen in the artic!! He is the one who actually kissed that woman you are dancing with, not yourself!!! You don´t care? Ok...). It also erases the stakes of maybe accidentally changing something by traveling to the past, etc. Basically, it is not even traveling to the past per say, it is traveling to a COPY of your past. Am I the only one who thinks this is super lame? 

2. Multiverse shenanigans are dull in comparison to other potential invented threats such as alien species with complex motives, gods, deities with different powers, villains that don´t die after the first movie, I don´t know, come up with something better than “another me from an alternative reality that is basically the same save for these changes uwu, also, the only alternative place in this big-ass alternative universe that we get see is earth, the basic bitch of places uwu”. Have some imagination, gee, the universe itself is big enough for countless undiscovered wonders and yet we need a “multiverse” to make things interesting? It is like the Loki show nerfing the infinity stones to make the TVA seem more badass. Since you can´t come up with new ideas from inside the giant full-of-aliens-and-titans universe you have, you can simply “raise the stakes” by using something “cool sounding” such as multiple realities without even having to come up with anything interesting, isn´t that great??!!?!! Even if universe of madness ends up being good, I am going to bet the “alternative universes” concepts will end up being not so vital after all, nothing that couldn´t have been substituted for aliens or monsters from the same-ass gigantic universe (Need I reming you that the universe is huge? Like, not even in Marvel, in real life).

3. I don´t like different versions of the same characters existing at all unless there is a rational explanation for that in-universe (Example: Miles Morales became inspired after the death of Peter Parker and decided to become spiderman himself after another radioactive spider bit him), no alternative universes needed, only maybe a cool backstory for the radioactive spiders. Having different spidermen from different universes and different looks that have the same name for some reason is weird as fuck. There, I said it. Watching different spidermen interact will not be cool, it will be weird as fuck I repeat. Too bizarre to suspend my disbelief. If it is true that Tobey Mc Guire will work with Tom Holland, I bet that movie will be filled with annoying jokes that reference the original Spiderman trilogy more than substance or a good plot.

Most of all, I don´t need your dumb ass what ifs, Marvel, I wanted a consistent and satistying single storyline, but you fucked that up and now your “big bads” are as disapointing.

[jeonsblackgf-writes]

LIES WITHIN YOUR WORDS || 2 ||

summary: Sierra left, but she didn’t quite leave😂 (you’ll see)

pairing: basically miguel galindo x black!OC

genre: errrr pettiness? fluff, maybe angst

word count:

AN: DO NOT WORRY! I AM CURRENTLY WRITING A FIC WITH FLUFF WITH ANGEL THEN EZ😂

____________________________________________🖊

"I just don't understand why I have to go back there." Sierra huffed, not wanting to move since she was very much pregnant as hell. She didn't want to leave the comfort of her couch but Miguel was more at ease knowing she was with him at all times with her being so close to her due date. He didn't want anything to happen to her, but he understood where his wife was coming from when she said that she didn't want to go back to the clubhouse after what happened to her 4 years ago. The only two people she's kept up with was Letty and Chucky. They've visited her a few times, they came to the wedding, the baby shower, almost everything. They were the only two people she trusted when it came to the Mayans.

"Mi reina, I completely understand why you don't want to go back, but I can assure you that nothing will happen to you because while I conduct business with Bishop, Nestor will be by your side just as he has been all these years. You have nothing to worry about, just trust me." He reassured her. She sighed and nodded her head as he gave her a triumphant smile. "Besides, it'd be nice to see you be petty every once in a while."

"I'm not liable for anything that happens while you're in the Templo. You know how my mouth gets when I get riled up" She grumbled, slowly sitting up from the couch to slip on her slides. Miguel gave her a kiss on the cheek, and let her have her alone time until it was time to work again.  He absolutely knew how much of a hard ass she can get when she gets mad, he's been on the other side of that on several occasions.

Sierra was 100% sure that Miguel was bringing her out of spite because he liked to brag and that's just the type of man he was. He took pride in the fact that he finally found love after Emily since he found out Cristobal wasn't his. He was heartbroken, yeah, but Sierra was there for him when nobody else was, and she was there for him when she told him about the deal that EZ had made with the feds. Of course, she felt like a bad friend, but there was so much betrayal being thrown around inside the Mayans, she didn't care anymore. Now here she is, 4 years later, married and pregnant by the one man that Angel and EZ had hated more than anything.

She had came to peace with herself and what happened to her a long ass time ago. She didn't want to harbour any hate for a man that didn't even deserve her time of the day. She stopped posting on social media because for some reason it had always encouraged him to call her, even while she was engaged to Miguel. She had also known, that Miguel was a completely different breed when it came to loyalty, it was like taking care of her needs was always his first priority and she used to feel so overwhelmed with how much love she had been receiving, but she had gotten used to it.

"It's time to go mi corazon," Miguel announced, walking back into the living room with Nestor behind him. She gave the two men a confused look as she watched Miguel carry a bag. He gave her a smile and handed it to her. She smiled as she looked inside the bag to see that it was filled with all her favourite snacks and drinks since he knew she liked to eat throughout the day. Not wanting to waste any time, she pulled out a bag of hot cheetos and ripped the bag open before popping a handful in her mouth.

Miguel grabbed her free hand and lead her to the car where the driver was waiting. He opened the door for her, placing a hand on her back as she got in. After she got comfortable, he closed the door and walked to the other side before settling himself beside her. Out of instinct, Sierra crossed her legs over her husbands, and scooted closer to him. He smiled and began to rub her thighs as the car started to move, Nestor sitting in the front. Miguel rolled up the partition from his side of the car, and began rubbing her thighs higher and higher, making her look at him suspiciously.

"The same shit your doing now is the reason why I'm pregnant." She grumbled, trying to push his hand away from he only grabbed it and laced it with his other hand as he slowly pulled her panties off with one hand and began to rub her clit slowly in small circles. She sighed and leaned her head back as she tried not to make too much noise because the car definitely wasn't sound proof.

"You know I can never get enough of you querida, no matter how pregnant you are." He mumbled, leaning over to place small kisses on her neck and chest. Sierra sighed in content and leaned back on the seat with her sundress hiked up to her belly, making Miguel smile. Maybe a small quickie wouldn't hurt.

"Miguel just hurry up because you got me horny knowing how sensitive my hormones are." She complained, trying to unbuckle his slack but he slapped her hand away, and held her legs up by the back of her knees.

"Relax honey, it'll be a while before we get there anyway." He stated before eating his wife out like it was her last meal, not giving her a chance to respond properly since she was too busy trying not to moan as she ran her hands through his hair.

Miguel moaned as he felt her drip onto his tongue before pushing her dress up past her. breast so he could have something soft to hold onto. Lately, he had been having sex with her and eating her out more than usual. She tasted sweeter and her pushy was always extremely wet during sex. He let go of her trembling legs, and snuggly placed them on his shoulder so that she would be more comfortable.

He circled his lips around her clit before sucking harshly, receiving a loud moan from her. "Holy fuck! Shit..."

Sierra looked down to her husband over her belly to see him already staring at her with wide eyes as he used both hands to spread her pushy lips as he stiffened his tongue and proceeded tongue fuck her deeper, making her thud down onto the seat and let out another sob as she felt herself coming closer and closer to cumming.

Her mouth fell into a silent scream as she felt her orgasm crash down upon her. Miguel did his best to keep her still as he watched her essence spurt out of her, watching as her legs continued to shake from the huge orgasm. Miguel glanced outside of the moving car for a split second before rushing to pull his slacks down. 

"We'll be there in 5, so lets make this quick mi reina," He mumbled, kissing his wife on the lips before leaning back up to thrust into her. Sierra gasped and grabbed her husbands hand as he quickly plowed into her as he tried to get her to finish as she chased his own climax. Miguel tried his best not to moan loud because he knew Nestor would give him shit so he stuck with deep breaths and small grunts. Sierra bit onto her lip as she watched her husband thrust harshly into her.

"You gonna let them know who you belong to amor?" Miguel asked, moving his hand to rub his wife's clit as she came around him. She sporadically and rapidly nodded her head as she tried to push him away but he grabbed both her hands and placed them above her her as he continued his consistent thrusting, now getting to his orgasm as he gave her one more thrust, spilling himself inside her. (I promise I write better smut than this lol.)

"Miguel, we're here." Nestor called from the front. Miguel could hear the sound of the front seat opening before he and Sierra put their clothes on. She straightened herself out, fixing her hair while Miguel pulled up his slacks and buckled his pants back. 

It had just dawned on her about what she was about to walk into. Sierra sighed, not wanting to see anyone's face again, not after what happened but she knew she really had no choice seeing as she willingly got into the car with her husband. 

Miguel noticed her distress, and comforted his wife, "Hey, if you don't want to come in it's your decision."

Sierra smiled at him and shook her head, "No, I want to. Let's go."

The couple made it out of the car, checking their surrounds before a loud voice caught her attention. Miguel whispered to Nestor about keeping a watch on her, the man nodding his head.

"SIERRA! GIRL HEY!" Letty ran up to the pregnant woman and engulfed her in a huge hug, being mindful of her belly. Miguel smiled at the interaction and stated that he was going inside for his meeting with Bishop, to which Sierra smiled and nodded her head before kissing his lips as a temporary goodbye. 

"You're glowing! Miguel really got you out here living your best life." She complimented, looking at her friend. Sierra laughed and rubbed her belly out of instinct. 

"Girl, he is but don't tell him I said that shit. His ego already big as hell." She joked, earning a laugh from the younger girl in front of her. 

"You wanna head inside?" Letty asked after a small moment of silence. Sierra hesitantly smiled and nodded her head. Letty noticed the hesitance.

"If it makes you feel any better, Angel's been a shit show ever since you left. Adelita was pregnant and he thought it was his but turns out it wasn't. So karma's a bitch I guess." Letty explained as the two of them walked to the doors of the clubhouse. Sierra gave a small hum at the new information. She had always told Angel that Adelita was suspect but he clearly was too deep in her pussy to see that until it was too late. 

"I'm married to a good ass man and we got a kid on the way, I could really care less." She stated, walking past Letty to get inside with Nestor following closely behind since she was burning up. It was like a record scratch from those dramatically funny ass movies and suddenly all eyes were on her while some where on her belly. 

Of course they were doing the same banter just like the time Angel got caught only his little Adelita wasn't here. Such a shame. She turned to Nestor with a smile on her face. 

"Could you get me something to drink?" She asked quietly. Nestor gave her a friendly smile and walked to the bar to ask for some water, returning it back to Sierra as she thanked him and took a big gulp from him. She tried her hardest to ignore the stares but it was getting irritating at this point. 

"Are yall gone keep staring or is somebody gone speak?" She asked loudly, scanning the room, and of course the first one to walk up was Angel. Looking past him, Sierra locked eyes with a girl with shoulder length hair, making her squint her eyes at her before the girl broke contact with her and turned around.

"Who knocked you up?" He asked, pointing to her belly before glancing at Nestor who was standing behind him. She smiled at him.

"Not your hoe ass, that's for sure." She replied, pretending to pick at her nails as if she were bored with the conversation already. 

"Mi reina seriously, did you let Miguel knock you up?" Angel asked, hoping to hear a no, but from the smile on her face he knew it was the opposite. Sad to say, he had thought about coming to see  her all the way up until this point, but she clearly was busy with someone else. 

"I'll tell you this. I married the same man who got his heart broken by the bitch your brother constantly fucked. Crazy how their baby wasn't his but EZ's isn't it?  Kinda pathetic if you ask me, taking Miguel's sloppy seconds...so weird." She spoke, every ounce of venom on her voice. She had time to be petty today.

"Did you come here to insult us? If you did you can fucking lea--"

"How's Adelita? Y'know with you cheating on me with her and all one would've thought that you guys would be a big happy family with her being pregnant. Oh wait, they poor baby isn't even yours. So not only did you cheat, you allowed a hoe to run game on you. Crazy." She chuckled, shaking her head at him. Angel knew he should say something, but how could he when everything she's saying is true. As far as Nestor, the only thing he could really do was try not to laugh, since he was told not to start anything unless he felt like someone was physically trying to attack his boss's wife and unborn child. 

"Seriously Sierra, we get that we fucked you over but chill out." Gilly spoke from the other side of the room. Sierra looked at him and sighed. 

"Gilly, if you knew how much dirt I had on you and every person in this room you would shut the fuck up and keep stuffing your fat ass face." Sierra ranted. Where the fuck is Miguel?

"Uhm excuse me but who are you? Angel why are you letting her walk all over you?" One of Vickey's girls asked, standing up to get beside Angel. 

"You do know I can put a price on your head and get you knocked off right? Matter fact lemme just..." She trailed off, pulling out her phone to text Miguel but Nestor grabbed the phone from her hand before she could. One phone call and the entire building will be burned to the damn ground with everyone in it. 

"He just saved your life. Next time you wanna try somebody, try a bitch that ain't me." She hissed, standing up just in time to see her husband walking out of the templo with Bishop, who could clearly feel the tension in the room. Miguel smiled and walked over to his wife as she welcomed him with a hug. 

"She wasn't too much trouble was she?" Miguel asked Nestor, who handed her back her phone. 

"Other than the fact that she just tried to get one of Vickey's girls dead, no, she's been an angel as always." Nestor laughed, stepping back from the two of them.

"Why the fuck did you marry her into this shit? You're too dangerous for her." Angel fussed, scowling at Miguel who turned around with an amused look on his face.

"Angel seriously shut the fuck up. You just don't like the fact that I'm married to the one man everybody in this bitch is afraid of because if he's too dangerous for me then you were as well and yet I STAYED with you and you see where that got me. It took you five years to propose to me while it took him one and a half, and we got married 6 moths later. Like my momma always said, a man knows when he ready to settle down, and you weren't ready and that's okay, but don't try to talk about what the fuck I got going on when you clearly got homegirl in the back over there scared to even say shit with her weak ass but I'm not surprised, you always had to fuck weak bitches because you could never handle a real ass bitch like me. Have a nice life dickface." She ranted, grabbing her husband's hand who was shocked at the confrontation. Any other time Miguel would be the first to speak on something like that but hearing his wife do it for him just made his heart swell with pride. 

"You handled that better than I would have baby, I'm proud of you." He told her as the two of them got into the car. Sierra smiled and leaned into her husbands side as he pulled her closer and kissed her head. 

"Okay now take me home and give me bath." She demanded, causing the other man to throw his head back in laughter.

[feiquacker]

Hey! So after a few months on tumblr I have recognized you to be an intelligent and free-thinking individual willing to speak your mind, and I’d like to open up a little discourse on the widely popular Zukki ship, if that’s alright.

The reason I’m asking you in particular is because you’re a Zuko realist—something this fandom could use a lot more of—who sees the character as he actually is in canon, flaws included, instead of the soft, selfless, over-idealized paragon-of-virtue who has practically hijacked the character we got in the show. And I’m interested to know why you ship Zukki in spite of this, especially considering his possessiveness with Mai (like in The Beach) and how that would work with the dynamic of a throuple. Hope that doesn’t come off as a loaded question! I just want to get your thoughts/reasons behind shipping it. (And you’re welcome to just PM me instead rather than answer this as an ask, idc either way). Thanks!

Oh god you absolute sweetheart noone has ever called me an intelligent and free thinking individual willing to speak my mind. That's like the best complement I have ever received. And nah don't worry I love long asks.

So I am not the biggest Zukki shipper but I absolutely ship them. The main reason is because I want Suki to have two boyfriends and because Sokka is to way awesome to get replaced by Zuko or even compared to him. Plus polynamory is awesome too and I figured instead of disliking zukka I can just like zukki which to you may seem weird now but to me is like a very big deal and has a whole other philosophy behind it that I do not have time to explain right now. Aaah

I liked zuki's dynamic in the comics and although I don't really ship them I like it. If you mix that with some romance you get some really cool stuff.

I am getting off track

One of the main reasons I started shipping zukki is because zukka just seemed off. They didn't have any chemistry and their interractions in chanon were just not fruity like everyone claims so I started searching for reasons to ship them but there was litherally nothing they had incommon then suki.

They just can not be in a relationship. There's no chemistry, no balance or equality.

One of the reasons I ship zukki is because in zukka there is litherally no balance.

So I figured that Suki is the perfect balance.

Don't belive everything I say because I am not good invested into Zuko's and Sokka's sides aka philosophy and character. What I can ruffly say is that while Zuko is impulsive Sokka can be impulsive which isn't a good combination. Zuko runs into battle head on while Sokka plans it out to litheral perfection forgetting to plan the enemies plan and what could go wrong. He sees half of the picture not the whole while Zuko doesn't see at all. Zuko has anger issues and Sokka is the protector of the gaang which means that Zuko is a potential treat because of his "anger issues". Zuko is reckless while Sokka is partially prepared. (this is all before and during the boiling rock by the way)

So here suki comes in. Sukka is litherally the best ship. Suki is the one that sees the full picture, the one that is calm and flexible af but still has enough chaos in mind to take over a warship and crash it against another. Suki see's Sokka's plan and goes with it until it starts failing, where she takes action. If suki was there for the invasion the plan would have worked since she too is a great leader.

Now suki and zuko. A direct comparison is the way she and zuko faught (because they are so similar you could forget the differences in no time): While Suki and Zuko run into action. Suki stepping on the prisoners heads to get to the warden and Zuko jumping off the ledge before getting caught by Sokka on the gondala. While for Zuko it was completely predictable. He runs headfirst into stuff for suki it was a wow moment because it was so unpredictable. Her taking the upper hand in the fight against Ty Lee? Also inpredictable and the whole time it just followes trough flawlessly. Everything she does is flawless unlike Sokka's invasion plan and a lot of Zuko's attempts to catch Aang. As if every move of her is calculated. The reason she got captured by Azula? Surprise attack. She didn't have enough time to plan everything and Appa was there too making it even worse for them. But she shoos of Appa. She knew this was a loosing fight.

That's why she is such a good addition to Sokka and Zuko too. They balance eachother out.

I mean Sukka and Zuki balance eachother out.

So the reason I ship zukki is because I ship sukka and zuki and figured that the three of them in a relationship would be cool plus there's some content for them out there so yea. I still preferrer sukka and sukitara though. Zukki is like a neutral ship. You know? A ship you aren't invested in but also have nothing against?

Yea... Suki would be good for Zuko because she could beat the toxic behaviours out of Zuko. I hate jealous people that actually act out their jealous. And I can imagine Suki doing that to. Because its Suki cmon. She wanted to kill sokka the second he spoke. She would kick that misogynistic behaviour up his ass and out (and yes Zuko is misagonistic sometimes I don't have to explain it and I won't but he is. There is enough proof)

I personally started hc it because I liked the idea of Zuki in the comics and dukka is awesome. Zuko and sokka are just best friends that kiss sometimes and cuddle with suki because she is a sweetheart and the best cuddler ever lmao.

I don't know if answered the question because I got off track a lot and this is the third day and I am still writing it so yeaaa...

Sukka is amazing zukki is cool and yea. But I love the idea of sukitara and sokkaang. Just because I can't stand the bitches that say Katara is straight. Like... No? She's bi. You either have two queer siblings or two straight siblings.

(also I ship them because it gives me a reason not to hate zuko which I am struggling with. I don't want to hate him so I ship him with my favourite character. That way I can lie to myself and stay realistic with jis character)

[petitelepus]

(sorry if the formatting is wonky, I'm on my phone. Also I hope this sends properly? I've been having problems sending asks lately)

Hi there, I was wondering if I could get a TWST match up?

I’m NB (he/they) and pan. INTJ and 5w4, if that helps you grasp my personality.

When it comes to interacting with others, I’m a rather quiet person, not one to approach anyone first or start a conversation because haha what are social skills. But when I feel at ease, I'll do or say anything and everything that comes to mind. I can talk your ear off when I’m passionate about something, and I tend to be opinionated and stubborn, but I still try to be kind.

I have a lot of things I’m passionate about, and can be rather ambitious with my plans. Plus I love learning about anything and everything (though classes take away that enjoyment lol, I hate going to classes and would rather teach myself things).

I’m a literature student in university but I have learnt about art history, calculus, chemistry, astronomy, physics, architecture and computer programming over the years; I am decent at three languages, learning three others, and aspire to be a polyglot.

I consider myself to be very artistic as I’m a ballet + contemporary dancer, a theatre kid, a singer, I’m currently learning piano and used to play the drums when I was younger. I also love to exercise, I’m a fencer and do bouldering from time to time.

I tend to always seek some sort of stimulation, be it mental or physical, but when I do get some down time or lazy days, I appreciate those with all my being.

I’m never one to back down from a challenge (even if it’s something small and ridiculous, I shaved my eyebrows just because a friend called me a coward) and I like to say that the only reason I exist is spite, but despite being bold I am very scared of intimacy and vulnerability, not allowing myself to show any “weak” side of me like the sad side or the soft side. I’m trying to unlearn that (toxic masculinity is a bitch). I’m very bad at expressing feelings but deep down I’m a romantic. Love letters and old fashioned romance and soft lingering touches and all that.

Appearance wise, I’m short (5’3’’) but have a decent amount of muscle so that won’t stop me from kicking anyone’s ass; I have (very messy) shoulder length, blue hair and dress casually.

I match you with Jade Leech!

What a cute little thing you are! Jade immediately takes a liking to you when you first visit Mostro with all those textbooks with you. Imagine his joy when he comes to take your order and you blush and stutter as you try to order something so you won't get kicked out of the Lounge.

Jade brings you your drink with a smile that makes you wonder if he spat on your drink. No, he just slipped his phone number on the napkin. Smooth Jade smooth. That was the start of you two.

At first, you're quiet around him, but Jade is a gentleman when he wants to be. He can wait until l you open up to him and while he is at it, he gives you sweetnames. He happily listens to you talk about your interests because he likes it how your eyes sparkle in glee when you talk about something you hold close to your heart. You're cutest when you're being stubborn and Jade learned that you have no filter and it's so funny to him.

Jade may be a bastard who might tease you about your pronounces but he makes sure that others honor you and your choices. No one wants to see Jade angry so they do as he says, but mostly everyone respects you and your wishes.

If you focus you can achieve anything you desire. Jade adores and admires your indescribable passion to learn. Not many enjoy studying like you do and it's different in a good way.

You're smart, that goes without saying. If Jade wasn't so sneaky he might say how smart you are, but he is what he is so he just smiles and asks if you learned something new that day. You always reply happily and start repeating everything you learned that day. Jade likes to listen to you because he discovers something that way also.

The longer you and Jade keep seeing each other, the more he learns about you and in general. You're a dancer? Jade chuckles at that because when he came to dry land he had trouble even standing up. You singing? Jade is surprised to hear how good you sound, but instead of giving you a direct compliment, he asks if you are actually a siren? He ends up complimenting you anyways.

Your physique also stuns Jade from time to time. You might be a little shorter, but Jade has a feeling that you could easily take on his twin brother Floyd. You are both strong and it shows.

Don't worry, Jade keeps you busy so you won't get bored. Wanna help around the Mostro? You can try serving customers and if you're eager to learn then Jade will teach you how to make drinks.

Your payment? Well, if you help around then Jade might get out earlier and the two of you can spend more time together, just the two of you. Of course, you can always rest in your room and if you still want to hang out with Jade then he is happy to bring you some sort of dessert from Mostro so you can enjoy your lazy day to the fullest.

Hey, Jade knows that not everyone can be perfect all the time. Okay okay, Jade loves you, BUT he absolutely LOVES daring you to do things that usually end up with him gaining something and making you step out of your comfort zone.

He bets you can't kiss him for 2 minutes straight? You can do it or not, but you would be damned if you didn't kiss him!

Since you're eager to learn, Jade enjoys teaching you to trust him. You're his partner and there must be trust between the two of you. He may tease you, but he does it to everyone.

You can be whatever you want to be and despite being an asshole sometimes, Jade supports you genuinely. If you ever feel down, he is there to tell you how amazing you are and how he loves you for being yourself and not something society expects you to be.

He might be a sneaky and ruthless eel, but he is in love with you and no one else.