#i am pretty much sure you need to understand the thing on order to create the thing

[pageofheartdj]

Was just thinking like usual xD

Reminder: Raph can make a giant avatar of himself and cloning, Leo can teleopt and make portals, Donnie can temporarely create anything from his mind. Mikey can use fire, infinite chains and anti-gravity. With all the canon rules.

[seeminglyseph]

I really appreciate that Eurylochus in Epic I am pretty sure is adapted from a character in the original who is at the very least somewhat antagonistic and cowardly in characterization and has spun him into a compelling and interesting character who has genuinely caused the fandom to basically to be like “but was he wrong though?”

Because like, the fact that at multiple points both Odysseus and Eurylochus have been right at different points of their adventure and just too fucked up emotionally or too “we can’t talk about things” to like. Clear up the issues they were having, means that they just. Became a tragedy.

And it is especially beautiful because Eurylochus and Polites bring this weight of friendship and loss to Odysseus in Epic, despite their existence in the Odyssey fully lacking that characterization. Though I think it is part of the miscommunication at times because like. Perspective. And if you try to look up extra information from the source text to give more context, Eurylochus is so different in that source text that like… it will back up arguments in favour of Odysseus more easily. But modern sensibilities side with Eurylochus more easily due to monarchs and tyrants like… heavily falling out of favour. So things like kings, gods, princes, captains, status, and rank are like… they exist but they aren’t seen the same.

Like the Odyssey is set in the Mycenaean age, late Bronze Age. This was a tale of ancient times when Homer was telling it. So by modern standards things can’t help but be archaic in ways. Especially given that The Iliad and Odyssey have so much to do with colonization and war and just like. Contemplating it. Existing in it and the aftermaths of it, and being conscious that it is being told to a world of people who are still acting and living in a unifying country due to colonization, that is expanding and growing its power with war and language and colonization. And the stories of the past wars are both glorious and tragic because of the necessity for glory to the heroes of the past but caution and understanding that…

Like Troy was once favoured by Zeus, that favour can be lost or swayed. Only the gods can count on their power lasting for eternity, men must know that a grudge can bloom anywhere and topple the mightiest kingdom if he does not mind his actions carefully.

The Aeneid, by Virgil which is written much later and I admit I have only read a summary, refers to Odysseus (through his Roman name Ulysses) really negatively, but that’s partially because the Romans kinda saw themselves as refugees and survivors of Troy. So like. By the time the Aeneid was being written, it was kinda the story of “those bastards who burnt our home down” from what I understand.

“Who lives, who dies, who tells your story?” For realsies. Looking things up apparently the Aeneid was the most popular version of both the Odyssey and the Iliad for a while and it wasn’t until the World Wars that Homer’s versions came back into fashion. Part of that was translation issues but still, damn.

This has become the most unhinged ramble, I’m sorry. I don’t know what any of this is even about. Translation? Perspective? Adaptation? The power of storytelling? All of it? Honestly the fact of the matter is that Eurylochus has been adapted to a new character for Epic, but he fits the narrative of the Odyssey especially as far as we need it to be told today because of how power structures work, but it’s been executed extremely well.

It keeps the technicalities of the traits of the poem “cowardice” and “mutiny” and creates a character with insecurity and missing sense of self who is afraid in a reasonable way and in order to overcome that fear reacts with aggression or violence. But in a way that is encouraged, acceptable or rewarded for a soldier. However, as a second in command, he is accustomed to having a role where he checks Odysseus’ plans for flaws. This is a good position to have him in when you’re plotting a battle action, it’s a bad position to have him in when you need him to provide a united front to keep the crew from panicking.

His position as both one of the crew and Odysseus’ Right Hand Man puts him in a position where he gets part of Odysseus’ picture, and is used to a relationship where he can be comfortable and doubtful and easy with Odysseus, however Odysseus as the Captain and the King cannot be fallible in the eyes of his men, because his men need to be able to follow his orders without question in the case of a crisis or it will be a serious issue.

Honestly the whole “I need you to be able to trust me and follow my orders in a crisis” is… part of general insubordination going on into modern day practice in crisis response and military as far as I understand it so like. I do get that. Though like. They are… two deeply damaged and traumatized men who just… cannot have a proper conversation with each other.

And also I am of the opinion that Odysseus in Puppeteer, when he brushes off Eurylochys’ attempted confession with his

“There's only so much left we can endure”

I am pretty sure that is not just brushing off, that is fully Odysseus admitting to Eurylochus like “I can’t handle anything else, please.” Like. My brain is making parallels to FMA “terrible day for rain” and Eurylochus drops it because he’s looking at a man on the verge of breaking down, and grants him some dignity or peace.

I mean Mutiny calls back to Puppeteer when Odysseus calls Eurylochus out, he would have done the same. Eurylochus wanted to cut and run on Circe’s island, leaving the men she had to their fate. But since Odysseus has all the power he carries all the blame, which makes it easier when any of the others make a mistake or something goes wrong. And it’s part of the reason Ody goes back to being Captain as soon as the crew is in trouble again. If they’ve angered a god, it’s better and easier to have Odysseus deal with it.

Unfortunately for everyone Odysseus has now crossed the Despair Event Horizon and all that matters is Penelope, Telemachus, and Ithaca. Everyone else can go fuck themselves.

Which, you know. Bodes well for all the fucked up dweebs who’ve been harassing his family for years. That’s probably gonna go great for them considering all the last shreds of his humanity he sacrificed to get home and see them safe.

[marengogo]

Rambling in INFJese - Part 10: Queerful In South Korea

SGMB and RPWP focused playlist

[Music is a very big part of my life and I’m MOSTLY INCAPABLE of writing without music, so I just thought I'd share what I am listening to while writing this]

🐺 — 🐺 — 🐺—

Gurls, Bois and Enbies … Hellooooooooooo 📢 Yes, I’m finally, officially, back from my travels.

Am I feeling relaxed and refreshed?

NO.

In fact, I’m pretty sure I’m more tired than when I left 😬. You see, there was more excitement than I thought, or even budgeted for, but, lowkey highkey I knew it was going to turn out like that, so, it was what it was and it was unforgettable 😊💜. 

Now, on to the topic of today!

As the title kinda spoils, I would like to bring forth the topic of queerness in present day Korea, touching upon specific sub-subjects within this main-theme, which you will discover as you keep reading.

In order to provide more context and understanding, I’ll have to bring up a bit of Geography, a tad of Politics and a lot of History, and let me make this clear, even though I have been out of politics for quite some time I used to be very invested in world politics … I am presently indeed somewhat annoyed, because there seems to be a lot of misinformation that has been going around with regards to what it might mean to be gay/queer person in South Korea, in the big year of 2024, which is why I’d also like to encourage us to be proactive and do some research, on our own, with the available resources that are out there. I know it sounds heavy, but I promise I’ll try and make it as least cumbersome, and as much relatable to what might concern all Queer people, and JK and JM of course, as possible ✌🏾.

Let’s start with some Geography.

Asia … is a big ass continent. Because it is so big, amongst the people who make these kind of decisions, it was decided that this continent would have to be divided into 5 regions: Central, East, South, Southeast and West. The regions we are going to be concerned with are East and Southeast also known as ASEAN. The East has a total of 8 countries, out of which we are going to focus on 4 being; China, Japan, South Korea and Taiwan, while the Southeast has a total of 11, out of which we are only going to concentrate on 1, being Thailand … aaand that was all for Geography; painless right?

Great. So now it is time for some of History. We are now going to be talking about the history of the BL genre and the Queer art genre within two particular cultures; Eastern and Western.

BL, otherwise known as Boy’s Love, is a genre that was born in Japan in the 1970s. To properly discuss the world of BL it would take way too many blogs, so I’m afraid I won’t delve too deep into it, but in order to proceed with our discourse I need for everyone to at least understand the substantial difference between, for example, a series like The Eight Sense and Heartstopper. The first is a BL and the other is a Queer Coming-of-Age Drama. These two series are the I most point out very positive outcome of a lot of struggle and progress within both the BL and Queer art genre through the years.

The East and BLs - BL was created by women to be consumed by other women in Japan. It had nothing to do with creating content for gay/queer people, and this is very fundamental for everyone to understand. The thing is that it doesn’t matter where in the world you are, if you are or were a girl/woman you know the struggles are real. Different parts of the world deal with this frustration in different ways, and Japan and eventually the other 4 Asian countries I listed above found this to be one of them. The BL genre is basically having two men in a forbidden relationship, driven by mad passion, and who would always choose each other over the rest of the world. Star crossed-lovers where one of them would always be the Seme/Top or male-male and the other the Uke/Bottom or female-male. At the core of it all, BL was intended to be escapism, which eventually turned into fetishism and now can be all the above and something else entirely; evolution aye?

Mainly Asian women perhaps used BL to feel like their opinions and emotions could matter, in an environment where like also many other countries in Africa men are the ones that have the last say, or just any say at all. So they fulfilled their fantasy of being heard, and having power, while at the same time having the “strongest/most ideal” of men fall desperately in love with this male version of themselves. It is obviously much more complex than my two line sentence explanation, but for now, kindly keep this image in your mind.

Moving on!

The West and Queer Art - The queer genre in the West for the longest time was almost always a guaranteed tragedy. Interestingly enough, even though the first movie that mentioned homosexuality was in the 1960, the beginning of Queer culture in movies was, also for the West, in the 1970s. I can’t tell you the amount of books and films I have read and seen in my day says the woman in her thirties LOL and, despite the heart-wrenching looming tragedy, I would still enjoy finding comfort during those few chapters/scenes when the couple/pairing was happy, even though I knew for a fact that either one of them or both would die, or be eternally separated, or some other kind of tragedy.

The funny thing is that I would just accept it, because why not? Is not like my reality showed any different. It wasn’t like I was aware of happy and successful queer people around me, so why would I expect to read or watch anything else? Also I am a nasty ass angsty person so really I have no excuse. 

… are y’all following me thus far?

Now, let’s take a bit of a leap into the 2000s where money-makers finally clocked in on the fact that there is mad-money that can be made with BL in the East and Queerness in the West. In the East we start adopting fanservice within boybands and Asian-Dramas, we start printing thousands of BL mangas, and producing as many animes to match. In the West we keep having the token queer comedian appear on every show as well as making movies of historic queer figures who have impacted the world somehow, so that the queers can feel represented, even though all the actors are for the most part straight, because at this point in time, even though we acknowledge that Queer people exist, coming out is still very meh.

As the 2000s progress and we enter the 2010s thanks to actual progress within some western countries, the interweb and social media it becomes increasingly easier for an Eastern Fujoshi/Fudanshi/Fujin (Bl lover girl/boy/enby) to find themselves in say the UK, which has areas that breathe queerness and queer history and for a Western Queer to find themselves in say Japan where they can easily buy a manga about “queers” in happy relationship or, somewhere in South Korea, can easily see two very attractive boys/girls from a random kpop band openly kiss.

And then, in the midst of this “cultural” exchange, and awakening, something happens.

The Eastern Fujoshi/Fudanshi/Fujin realise that there are actual real queer people in the world sounds stupid, but believe me, it is not. That queer people are not just characters in a book, or anime, and that in fact there really are people in the world who are for example of the same sex and truly wanna be together and, if gay, for example, can also be both very masculine and still want to be together. At the same time the Western Queer realise that they actually can be happy, and that they deserves a happy ending, because some of this BLs aren’t half as bad and they sometimes make valid points and then you find out that actual queer people are now also writing BLs so things start to make some sense. 

As I mentioned, society was also changing, Queer people in the West started gaining a few rights, such as being able to get married in America and some European countries, and as a consequence, in the following decade, we now have series and movies that have Queer protagonist, with happy endings to boot! In the East, things are either not moving at all or moving a bit differently, or kinda slowly, but still it is movement. Within the countries that are moving differently, talking about Queerness is still heavy but has finally become something that they “don’t mind” just talking about and the gay neighbour is actually seen as the gay neighbour, whether they will talk to them is debatable, but at least they are recognised as such and not absurdly explained away or their existence ignored.

Now back to geography. The reason why I mentioned those 5 countries (China, Japan, South Korea, Taiwan and Thailand) is because at some point in the 2010s they were the main producers, and consumers, of BL within the Asian continent, and yes, while still being hella homophobic and, but let’s be real for a second, queer people have been around since the beginning of time, so even though BL was made and intended for women, our Queer Eastern Siblings would find a way to secretly also consume BL, being the closest thing to reading about a queer relationship, so added to the westerner consumption as well, it is no surprise that these 5 countries suddenly had a boom, despite having been being homophobic. 

Hence, it can be said that these 5 countries were on the same wavelength in the early 2010s, but what about now? With the considerable change in behaviour and thought with regards to Queer people in these countries in the early 2020s where do these 5 countries stand with regards to their Queer people and politics? Well, China has now banned BLs entirely, and I will not delve into their further lack of queer rights. Taiwan and Thailand have legalised Queer marriage. Then there is Japan which is making progress towards trying to legalise Queer marriage with to my greatest joy a successful ruling that happened this year in March related to same-sex unions … so, what about South Korea?

Well … SK is so close 🥹 … Yet so far 😫

It’s like they are taking 4 steps forward and 3 steps backwards, constantly. They are well far from China-levels which is a fucking relief I tell you! but they are dragging their feet to be at Japan-levels (and Japan is very close to Thailand and Taiwan Queer status currently). Yet, it is not as negative as it seems, or as some people try to portray it. You look around social media and they depict SK as if it were China. SK is currently facing a situation where it notices that things are changing and change is scary y’all. Resistance is the usual reaction to change, and the older generations, mainly those led by the Christian groups are not really where is at. SK’s youth and older liberal generations hold the answer to the Queer Korea questions.

So what exactly makes SK look hopeful? Well, time to get back to some History again 😘

The first Queer organisation in SK was formed in 1993 by 3 gay men and 3 lesbian women. The following year the 6 separated into 2 groups and formed the first gay organisation and the first lesbian one respectively. In 1997 we have the first demonstration for gay and lesbian rights, which then lead into 2000, the year of the first Pride Parade, which is one of the events of the very first Seol Queer Culture Festival Daegu Queer Culture Festival will be created in 2009, do keep this in mind … but another major event happened in the year 2000.

Y’all know that saying X walked so that Y could run? Well Hong Seok Cheon was basically forced to walk so that Queer Korean could learn how to properly train to run.

Though Seok-cheon is presently back to being somewhat popular again, his coming out was pretty traumatic. His career as comedian/actor started in 1994 and he was quite popular which landed him a good number of acting roles, and a lot of placements in comedy shows, as well as a kids show. In 2000 he was asked about his sexuality and he had no qualms in replying that he was gay. The show editors decided to cut out that part but a journalist gotta love them 🙃 got a hold of the footage and forced him to “elaborate”. Upon confirming, Seok-cheon lost all his jobs and was shunned verbally abused, discrimination and the lot, oh yes … by his own country. 

Not surprisingly, given that nobody in his own country wanted to interact with him, he at first thought of moving to the US to start afresh, but then decided against it. Seok-cheon decided to stay and prove to everyone in his country that he could make it and be successful again. And that he did. In 2002 he opened the first of what now is a high end chain of 9 restaurants in Itaewon. 2004 he joined the Democratic Labor Party and was selected by Time magazine as the Asian Hero of that year and in the following years Seok-cheon will keep racking up achievements  🎶🎵Did you see my bag? Did you see my bag? 🎶🎵 Namean?! (I’m not gonna list them all but you should definitely look him up and learn a bit about him, if you are interested).

But how does that connect to today? In 2008 he started his own talk show Coming Out and though there was a bit of resistance at the beginning as expected, the youth came in force and he started gaining audiences and boom! He was back on TV and slowly he’d get also a few cameos on prominent media, such as the Netflix drama Itaewon Class. Now let’s leave the lime-light for a second and let's look at the military 😬. It is vitally important that people understand that being gay is not illegal in any of the 5 countries we’ve been talking about yes, even China, but the public opinion and beliefs of each country greatly influence how their queer communities are thought of and treated.

Now, SK Military has become pretty infamous within the queer community for conducting witch-hunts in order to find out and humiliate gay soldiers, so much so that organisations such as Amnesty eventually had to step in. That being said, let's be real real real for a second. Though it is appalling what they have done to the queer soldiers, the SK military was also very famous for hazing, assaulting, causing cadets regardless of sexuality to want to unalive themselves and what more. All of the aforementioned, which put SK’s military on the map in a not so positive light globally, added to the increase in suicides, made the government address the situation, and they eventually came up with solutions such as the buddy system, which was first implemented in 2003. But, back to the gays. The most popular witch-hunt happened in 2017 where two soldiers amongst others were outed, but these particular two were found guilty of having sex off-base, during off hours.

In 2022 this conviction was overturned, the soldiers were no longer guilty and it is now no longer illegal, for queer soldiers, to have sex off-base during off-hours. You know what else happened in 2022? SK aired their first Queer reality shows, one being To Me(a)rry Queer and and the other being His Man. In 2023, His Man 2 will give us our first successful real-life queer couple, who are our beloved couple Junseong and Seongho (together known as Junseongho). They are the first queer couple to ever appear on Dazed magazine and we are all familiar with Dazed, it is not the front page like our boys get, but we all know how big of a deal this is, right?

You know what else happened in 2023? Remember that Daegu Queer Culture Festival I was talking about? The Mayor of Daegu (big Christian sympathiser) tried to stop this festival which includes the Parade and many other events, even though the Court ruled it was okay for the Festival to be carried out. The Mayor gathered other supporters and pulled up to the group, but the Daegu Police protected the Festival and removed the mayor and his “friends” from the premises. This was big and made news worldwide. 

In fact, Daegu’s Queer Culture Festival is the second largest one in the country, after Seoul’s. This is mainly possible because the Local Authorities (such as the police) are quite independent in belief from their present Mayor and the Christian factions. In contrast, for example, Busan’s Queer Culture Festival had a two year run but was then cancelled in 2019. Unfortunately, in Busan, The Mayor, the Local Authorities and the Christian factions are buddy-buddies making it much harder to get protection and permissions, aaaaaand things like that, kids, is why it is super important to vote for your local administration as well.

Even though these are all very important stepping stones, SK is nowhere close to being the UK, obviously. The LGBTQ community still has to get all their core rights being legalised, and queer people can still be subject to random ass attacks, such as the singer Holland had in 2022, which, by the way, also still occasionally does happen in the UK and everywhere else in the Queer World. Which is a general minority reality I’m afraid.

Furthermore, it is still illegal to have sex on base, which the country maintains that they are upholding because they are trying to prevent possible sexual assaults not too mad about this tbh, which is a valid concern, but most importantly they now know that the world is watching and why is that important? Because, for example, even though they are now separated, one of the boys from the Me(a)rry Queer couples enlisted around the same time with JK & JM and from his posts and photo-booth pictures that other soldiers posted of him, he seems to be making friends and to be comfy as comfy as you can get while serving, kinda like Joonie and most likely JM & JK

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A post shared by 박보성 (@park_bosung)

Not quite the attitude of someone fearing a witch-hunt, right? But then again, there isn’t much to hunt when you are already out, it is afterall illegal to hunt people and the world is now aware; is there? …

Now back to the general people of SK. According to a survey conducted in 2023 last year, 56% of South Koreans still oppose same-sex marriage (in comparison with only 26% of Japanese). 56% is not bad but then 72% don’t want queer people in their neighbourhoods and  workplace, though 81% think that it is not right to terminate people because of their sexual orientation 4 steps ➡️3 steps ⬅️… … … Basically it’s okay to be queer here as in SK, but not here-here, perhaps over there like a queer only neighbourhood or something which at the moment is the Itaewon district. 

So yes, 2024 Queer SK is still struggling though they are not going to be overtly nasty about it, because the world is watching. I mean, don’t get me wrong, progress is progress and we love to see that, it is actually amazing, but there still needs to be a general environment where LGBTQ rights in SK need to be recognised and for queer Koreans to not be discriminated against in their social/work/family life. It is also great that Queer media is trying to transition more and more from only BL to actual Queer Drama, for example I am really looking forward to watching Love In The Big City which btw also stars Kim Go Eun.

There is still work to be done, but I think Jung Cueri, a lesbian woman who helps with the Seoul Queer Culture Festival, says it best (here is the full article https://www.dw.com/en/why-are-south-koreans-less-welcoming-of-lgbtq-neighbors/a-68698268 ):

“I think the attitudes of younger generations of Koreans are getting better," she said, pointing out that young LGBTQ+ individuals "tend to come out sooner to their families, in their workplaces and schools than my generation because they are more aware of their sexuality through social media and exposure to various discussions that are more tolerant of LGBTQ+ people." And the cultural festival can help to be a catalyst to change further, she believes. "It will get better," she said. "And that is why the organizers and everyone else involved in the festival are working so hard; they know that Korean society will get better, and they want to contribute to that.

From where I stand it seems Hopeful, Queerful, if you may.

So, Fighting!, Queer South Korea!

Always respectfully yours,

Marengo. 

[aleksanderscult]

Was the Darkling that much of a liar as the fandom makes him to be?

Because it's literally one thing for a character to truly lie every other page and another for the reader to have been tricked by the narrative that he's a compulsive liar.

If we thoroughly search and find his lying moments in the Grisha trilogy then it would be these:

“I don’t want to answer you.”

“Oh.”

Then he sighed and said, “One hundred and twenty. Give or take.”

After a moment, the Darkling said, “My great-great-great-grandfather was the Black Heretic, the Darkling who created the Shadow Fold.”

“How?” I pleaded. “How am I supposed to do that?”

“By helping me destroy the Shadow Fold.”

“What’s Baghra’s power, anyway?”

“I’m not sure,” he said. “I think she was a Tidemaker.”

“Because every day we don’t find the sea whip, I’ll peel away a piece of her skin. Slowly. Then Ivan will heal her, and the next day, we’ll do it all over again.”

“Where are they? ” I screamed.

“They are safe. For now. They will be on my skiff when I enter the Fold again.”

“As hostages,” I said dully.

He nodded.

So in the whole trilogy the Darkling lied six times. Four if you count the scenes before he was revealed as the "evil guy".

His first real conversation with Alina is considered both by the protagonist and the fandom as manipulative and shady. He lied about his identity, age and true goal. Now let's take it from the beginning.

The fact that he lied about his age and identity wasn't something personal against Alina. This is the exact same lie he had been telling the world for four hundred years as a means of survival and staying as head of the Grisha. Also, did we really expect him to say "Yeah, I was the one who created the Fold. Hehe what can you do?☺️". We would be lying too if we were in his place.

Another thing that needs to be understood here is that the Darkling was testing her. He was trying to see what her personality is like, how does she feel about her newfound powers and, most importantly, what has she heard and how does she feel about him. I'm pretty sure that he was kinda sure that Alina would have been influenced by the people's views about him. And he was right. Alina was afraid of him thanks to the rumors and superstitions that surround him. If she also knew who he truly was then she would run from that barn ASAP.

Now let's see the next lie that the Darkling spat out. The one where he told her that he needs her to destroy the Fold. This was another test. Trying to see how she would react if she knew her true purpose as the Sun Summoner that everybody expected.

Apparently she failed that test as well:

Alina panicked when she heard that the realm's future lies on her shoulders, when she understood that she would be the one to destroy the Shadow Fold. Imagine how she would react if the Darkling said "Okay look. I need you so I can use the Fold against some nations, not destroy it". Yup, she would scream and run.

There's no way the Darkling would say the truth to her, especially since he saw how frightened and prejudiced she was about him and how clueless she was about the whole economical and political situation Ravka was at this point.

He was waiting for the Sun Summoner to be born and emerge for centuries. He would never risk losing her now because of her narrow views and some brutal truths. It was a matter of life and death for him in order to protect his country. And this girl was too young, too naive to understand.

So no. He didn't do it because he had something personal against her or to seduce her. He did it for the good of his country so this girl would stay no matter what.

Sadly, it's evident that in the end the Darkling's suspicions proved to be right. She run away. And when he found her he chastised her about her selfishness and her inability to see the bigger picture.

“Did you deserve my trust? Baghra whispers a few accusations in your ear, and off you go. Did you ever stop to think of what it would mean for me, for all of Ravka, if you just disappeared?”

“You didn’t give me much choice.”

“Of course you had a choice. And you chose to turn your back on your country, on everything that you are.”

“That isn’t fair.”

“Fairness!” he laughed. “Still she talks of fairness. What does fairness have to do with any of this? The people curse my name and pray for you, but you’re the one who was ready to abandon them. I’m the one who will give them power over their enemies. I’m the one who will free them from the tyranny of the King.”

The Darkling was right, she did have a choice. I once heard a line from a show that said "In life we always have a choice. But sometimes it's easier to think that you don't" and it applies to Alina here perfectly. She had a choice but she said to herself that she didn't. And by doing so, she only proved Aleksander right. She can't handle the truth.

Now the next lie is when he lied about his mother's powers. Don't have to dwell here because it's the same thing as before. It's the same lie he tells everyone "I don't know. I'm not sure". The Darkling (publicly) has distanced himself from his mother and keeps that relationship a secret. It's just part of his persona (just like his age, his identity etc.). Again nothing personal against Alina.

The next one is just some clever emotional manipulation. When he made clear to Mal that he would curve Alina's skin he knew that the threat was just enough. He has seen them act all cutie-cutie and being sacrificial for the sake of each other to a disgusting point so he took advantage of that (I say good for him).

And the last one is just my personal favourite if you ask me. That strategy he displayed there was my most favourite that he ever showed. Since he knew again how the threat would be enough for Alina to come to him like fish on a bait. He embraced his villainous persona and pretended that he would hurt those children if she didn't surrender to him. But he knew better. Mindless heroism would just bring her right into his net and again he was proved right until everything fucked up and died.

In his own words:

“I know what you thought, what you’ve always thought of me. It’s so much easier that way, isn’t it? To puff yourself up with your own righteousness.”

Just some delicious shit actually.

So, in conclusion, no. He wasn't a compulsive liar. But when he needed to lie he did and only for (as he saw it) selfless reasons. In fact, he mostly either evaded the truth or spoke truth. So misinformation just spilled that man's reputation lmao.

[theteasetreads]

Here is a list of stuff I love/recommend from writers I think are neat. Please be sure to check out their blogs and their other stuff too! I will be updating this list the more I find stuff I love.

*this list is arranged in alphabetical order

❤️‍🔥 = smut (18+) 💝 = fluff 💔 = angst 👀 = suggestive/implied smut

❧ @collecting-stories ↳ I am not sure if this writer is currently writing for Daryl at the moment, but I ADORE their Daryl content! Be sure to check them out, and maybe you'll find that they write for some other characters you like, too!

❧ @devnmon ↳ Rye is one of my pals, and they just so happen to write some of the best Daryl Dixon fanfiction ever. Like, ever. They write some of the sweetest, sauciest, sexiest smut I've ever read, and their writing style is just amazing. I am so bad at describing this kind of stuff, but trust me when I say that they are essential reading if you like Daryl Dixon x Reader!

❧ @haruhey ↳ So much has been said about Haru, but I truly cannot express how amazing their work is. Not only do they write the most mind-blowing, earth-shattering smut on this planet, but they also put so much care and detail and love into their writing. I love how they put tons of effort into creating a real relationship between Daryl and the reader character. It's truly spectacular. Please check their stuff out if you haven't already.

❧ @normanplusdaryl ↳ Ari is just starting on her writing journey, and boy is she already turning out to be another ICONIC addition to the Daryl Dixon x Reader family. I love the way she writes Daryl, how he's true to his character and does/says things I actually think he would do/say. That is a really hard thing to do! Plus, she writes angst super well, and, once again, that is not an easy feat.

❧ @starlessea ↳ This writer's work pretty much introduced me to the world of Daryl Dixon x Reader. In fact, her series, Here Comes the Sun, is what inspired me to write my own series, and my own fanfiction in general.

❧ @weretheones ↳ Madi is not only one of the sweetest, kindest, smartest, funniest, coolest, most talented people you will ever meet, she is also a stellar writer who truly understands the complexities of Daryl's character and basically everything about him. She is truly the gem of Daryl Dixon x Reader. She is an icon, a star, a revolutionary. She rocks my world. Oh, and she is one of the best angst writers. Ever. I don't even particularly like angst, but Madi? She does it so well that it's not even angst, it's just pure art.

❧ Back to Black by normanplusdaryl | 💔 ↳ Summary: Daryl comes home after many years to face the consequences of his actions. ↳ Word Count: 2.5k

❧ Doctor's Orders by weretheones | 💔 ↳ Summary: When a sprained ankle takes you off run duty, the new girl goes in your place. Which would’ve been fine– if she didn’t have that brilliant wit, gorgeous smile, and effortless skill. But she did. And it was only a matter of time before Daryl noticed too. (Season 4) ↳ Word Count: 7k

❧ Gone For Good | Part 1 & 2 by weretheones | 💔💝 ↳ Summary: It was easy to lose hope when everyone around you started dropping like flies. When the flu hit, Daryl saw your optimism drain alongside your health, but it wasn’t until the brutal attack of the Governor that he lost his.  ↳ Word Count: 9k (total)

❧ Hide Away With Me by haruhey | 💝👀 ↳ Summary: Dancing in the dark, with you between my arms. ↳ Word Count: 3.6k

❧ In Vino Veritas by haruhey | ❤️‍🔥 ↳ Summary: After a particularly rough run, Daryl wants nothing more than to shut himself away from everyone with you. However, he’d agreed days prior to be your ‘date’ to one of Alexandria’s welcoming parties thinking you needed someone to share the pain of new people with. Guilt gnaws at him the whole night and he gets wasted to numb the feeling, resulting in you having to carry him home. The alcohol in his system and the way that dress hugs you makes him particularly… talkative, and as the Romans say, in wine there is truth. ↳ Word Count: 30k

❧ Late To the Party by devnmon | ❤️‍🔥 ↳ Summary: Daryl has a knife kink. ↳ Word Count: 7.1k

❧ No Rush by weretheones | ❤️‍🔥 ↳ Summary: Daryl took his time with you. ↳ Word Count: 950

❧ You Deserve the World by devnmon | 💝💔👀 ↳ Summary: Daryl’s been insecure about his age starting to show, and is worried he’ll lose you. You show him every way he won’t. ↳ Word Count: 3.4k

❧ You, You, You by normanplusdaryl | 💝👀 ↳ Summary: After a long night, Daryl comes home and you decide he needs a little break. ↳ Word Count: 1.2k

❧ All You Got by weretheones | 💝💔 ↳ Summary: Daryl Dixon hadn’t known much beyond anger and loneliness his whole life, until he found family at the end of the world. Everything he grew to care about was ripped away the day the prison fell; so when he recognized you, an enforcer of his loss, hiding in that cabin, he almost pulled the trigger. But after you end up saving his life, he couldn’t find the indifference to leave you for dead, even if you’d been on the Governor’s side. (Mid-Late Season 4) 

❧ Georgia by collectingstories | 💝 ↳ Summary: King County, Georgia. In a small town like that, where everyone knows everyone, people can get pigeon-holed into personalities that aren’t their own. Daryl Dixon was a troublemaker, a good-for-nothing, redneck kid who would grow up to be just like his dad. Drinking too much, smoking too much, and cheating his way through life. But Daryl isn’t any of the things people say he is and you’re willing to shoulder the burden of their judgement when you find yourself falling for him.

❧ Here Comes the Sun by starlessea | 💝👀 ↳ Summary: Daryl Dixon scares the hell out of you climbing out of that damn creek. It takes hauling his ass halfway across Georgia and taking a bullet for him to realise that you’re not half bad. He slowly starts to come around, despite grumbling about how much he doesn’t like your singing, or that you can’t use a gun for shit - and don’t get him started on that ugly yellow tent of yours. It takes him a while before he starts to see for himself that he’s found a best friend for life, and that he doesn’t actually mind the colour yellow that much, after all.

Updated: 3/13/2023

[kat-rose-griffith]

Hi. I love you blog ❤️

But I have an unpleasant question to ask. I hope it doesn’t bring your mood down and I hope that you may have some advice.

I love the Bridgerton community here and I genuinely enjoy the series analyses and the memes and love and praise for the actors. But you know how the situation with Luke has been recently.

I had to block #lukola and lukola content since the comments are mostly generated under this tag. I know that not everyone is using it romantically but I hoped that it will bring down the amount of posts that make me see red or genuinely depressed me. And I still have to block users just to remove their posts from my dash even though I thought that the filter may help.

I want to generate positivity instead of fighting but some posts are just THAT outrageous that I feel the need to dismantle them. By doing that I feel like I keep the hate train rolling simply by bringing the content of these posts into question in order to point out how harmful they are. I’ve also tried doing nothing and ignoring, but it feels like I’m letting the baseless cruelty slide and letting my principles and who I am at the core down.

I’m not sure what to do anymore and I’m thinking about stepping away from all social media for a while. But this thought also makes me sad because I used to love it here and I still (sometimes) do.

Do you have any advice? How do you deal with this? Maybe I have to filter something more? Do you see any way to contribute something good without fighting but also without hiding and running away from the tide?

If I’ve overstepped, I am sorry, and if you decide to remove the ask or not answer it I would absolutely understand. Thank you for listening in any case ❤️

Oh my gosh you’re so sweet. Thank you so much for enjoying my blog. That means so much to me and I truly appreciate it!

As far as advice goes I don’t know if I have a lot. I know it can get really hard to not let other peoples hatred and negativity bring you down. It can get really frustrating especially when the hate is as illogical and unwarranted as the harassment that the bridgerton actors, especially Luke, have been getting. It’s not guaranteed but hopefully the aggression will die down with some time as people move on with their lives. Just know that you’re not alone in these feelings.

I’m personally pretty susceptible to this kind of negativity too. That’s why tumblr is my only form of social media. The way that I try to work with those reactionary feelings is pretty similar to what you’re already doing. Whenever I see something that affects me like that I just block it and move on. Sometimes I do forget to do that and get wrapped up in scrolling through the hate or typing up a response, but then I have to stop myself and think if it’s really worth my time. I remind myself that these people want attention and they want the notes on their posts to feel validated in their opinions. It is hard but the best course of action is to try to just ignore them because they’re truly not worth the stress or energy.

With that I do want to say don’t be afraid to vent your feelings on your own blog. If you don’t feel comfortable putting it in the tag or associating it with your blog because you don’t want to deal with those people harassing you there that’s completely fine. You can always leave it untagged, type it up but leave it in your drafts, create a side blog just for that, or block them when they leave an upsetting comment. I’ve just found that it’s helpful to me to let out how I feel on here instead of holding it in and it’s especially helpful when I find people who actually get it and share my feelings. That’s actually one of my favorite things about tumblr.

Another thing that I try to do is just make my blog a nice place that I’m proud of, which is why you liking my blog has made me very happy. I try to share as many things that I like as I can. With the negativity in the tag surrounding Luke I’ve just been trying to counter it with any positive post that comes to my mind to drown out how negative and hateful some people have been. These people aren’t the majority, they’re just loud. That’s why whenever I’ve been making posts about this season I’ve been putting them in Luke and Nicola’s tags. If you have other social media accounts spamming the cast and their tags with love, complements, or just anything that’s not hateful to counter the hate spamming that they get is always a good idea too.

All that being said if it is all too much I always recommend just stepping away from social media for a second. It can be very overwhelming and hard to remember that it’s not real life, so if you ever feel like it’s effecting you too much just check in with yourself and walk away, for at least a bit.

I know that’s not great advice, but I’m going to post this in all of the tags that I use for bridgerton to see if anyone else has any advice that might be a bit more helpful. I’m very sorry that you’ve been experiencing this too and I hope that it gets better. Thank you so much for liking my blog, that really did make my day

[sugajimin]

unhelpful tips and resources for gifs&gfxs

Hi everyone, I don’t know how useful this post will be but I wanted to share some of the things I learned through the years of creating content for tumblr and also new information I find every now and then. I see lot of new people who start creating content here and I want to help with what I know.

Note: I won’t upload any tutorial of mine or anything because I believe the resources I will link here will be more useful than just a tutorial that I won’t be able to explain well because English is not my first language. Let’s start!

First of all, few words about tumblr and how it works. Tumblr is a site with many communities. Every user has its own blog that can post many kinds of content, including a text,photo,video,audio,art etc. When you first join the site it might be overwhelming but in reality, it is not (*whispers* I personally find instagram harder to understand how it works). 

Like every site tumblr has its own search bar, tags, likes, reblogs(share on fb,rt on twitter),and follows. When you search a blog to follow and you see their posts you can like their post by tapping on the heart and share(reblog) by clicking on the two arrows button that looks like the recycle icon. 

What does reblog mean and do? 

Reblog is as we said the “share the post” of facebook, with reblog you don’t repost someone’s content but you share it with your followers and help it to be seen bymore people that way you actually help the creator to promote their creations. 

Likes

Unlike, instagram,twitter and facebook, when you like something the website doesn’t recommend the post to your followers unless they go to your blog via their phone and go to your likes page, if you have it unlocked, so basically, likes don’t help with supporting creators as much as reblog does. 

Tags

Tagging system on tumblr, in my opinion, is pretty fun both for the op of a post and for the reblogger. With tagging you can organize all the posts on your blog by anything you like. For example, if you tag artworks as #art and you want to find a certain artwork you reblogged a time ago you can just go to the tag and find it. 

For op you can use tags the same way as other sites to promote your work, as I remember the first 5 tags will be shown on the general tag like if you search on tumblr #artwork and you have the tag #artwork on the first 5 it will be shown there.. but I am not sure if this changed.

Creating a post 

As you can see from your dashboard(timeline on twitter) you have the option to create a text form post, a photo form post.. etc. You can experiment with all of these, don’t be afraid. I will focus on photo form posts because we will talk about gifs and gfxs.

The photo form(with the camera icon) post, is what most content creators use to post their creations like designs/graphics,art/fanart/photography, and gifs.

The site allows you to post 10 photos(if you want to post more I think Text form allows more). 

The size of your photos and gifs must be under 20mb for photos and under 10mb for gifs. 

As for dimension, tumblr has its own dimension but you can always post whichever you want, the bad thing is that the quality will be reduced on the dashboard and the viewer will have to click on every single photo in order to see the original quality. Here are the dimensions:

For a single photo/gif per columna it is 540px horizonatally

For 2 photos/gifs per columna it is 268px x 268px

For 3 photos/gifs per columna it is 177px x 178px x 177px (be careful the middle one always has to be 178px)

Themes

When you feel comfortable with using tumblr, you can customize your blog with beautiful themes that talented people have shared here! 

You can find and learn about themes here: @/theme-hunter

Gifs/gfxs

In this part, I will provide links and tutorials for gifs and graphics, But first of all you need a program for content creation. The most common one is Photoshop, you can buy a subscription from Adobe(it is expensive) or you can find crack version on the internet.  

Chaoticresource has a whole tag for photoshop and many more programs for you to start with photoshop. Not only that they have a whole list of resources for both giffing and graphic making. You can find their tag list with everything you need to here.

Here are some tutorials on how to make a gif

Tutorial by: misty-quigley

Tutorial by: kylos

Tutorial by: hayaosmiyazaki

Tutorial by: cal-kestis

Tutorial by: gr-ogu

Tutorial by: misfitsexual

Tutorial by: unbrokencolorings

Tutorial by: josefnewgayden (also has many resources)

Tutorial by: dunkzilladaddy

Tutorial by: theedorksinlove

Tutorial by: ashleysolsen (with more resources)

As you can see there are many different ways to gif, experiment with as many as you like and choose one you feel more comfortable with.

Usergif and deenafier  and cillianmurphy have collected many tutorials in their page/posts so I recommend reading them. 

Some random yet helpful tutorials I have and I find myself going back here and there are: 

The coloring tutorial by @/ daisylouisejohnson

The coloring tutorial by @/magnusedom

The color table tutorial by @/ggroupsdaily

The coloring tutorial by @/lee-haechan here and here

Coloring tutorial by @/binariesuns

Layer mask tutorial by @/daisylouisejohnson

Transition tutorial by @/fionagallaqher (and coloring tutorial)

Blending tutorial by @/linda-darnell

Blending tutorial by: @/morningstr

Channel Mixer tutorial (REALLY IMPORTANT IMO) by @/zoyanazyalensky

Glitch effect tutorial by @/nobodynocrime

Glitch tutorial by @/sarah-snook

How to fix orange-washed characters by @/zoyanazyalensky

Colored background tutorial by @/rafael-silva

Sharpenning gifs by @/joelmillrr

Coloring tutorial by @/yelenafbelova

Coloring tutorial by @/yenvengerberg

Don’t be afraid to experiment with gifs, try different styles and most important have fun!! I know thereis a lot to learn but trust me, it can be pretty fun! Good luck!

Now for graphics.. all I have to say is just have fun and experiment, experiment and experiment more! Here is a list ofresources I have collected that helped me improve my skills and find resources.

Where to find fonts/textures/vectors/mockups.

deviantart (everything)

unsplash (photos)

pixeden (mockups,photos)

graphicburger (mostly mockups)

freedesignresources (everything)

spoongraphics (mock ups)

graphicgoogle

rawpixel (photos)

digitalbrushes (brushes)

zippypixels (mockups)

dafont (fonts)

fonts by google

behance( under the tag freebie)

pinterest

fonts.ilovetypography (fonts)

gvfxarmy on twitter did an amazing job collecting resources.. you can find them here

List of youtube channels that will help you with tutorials and educational information on graphic design

Envato Tuts

Madia Designer

elliotisacoolguy

Brad Colbow

LearningScreen

PiXimperfect

The Futur

The Futur Academy

Jeremy Mura

Blue Lightning TV Photoshop

Nemanja Sekulic

Digital Art Creation

Will Paterson

Nobu Design

Satori Graphics

Logo Design Ideas

Adobe Creative Cloud (recommend to watch some of the livestreams they are interesting)

Gareth David Studio

Spoon Graphics

PSD Box Official

creatnprocess

Jamie Windsor

Dansky

Daily Photoshop Tutorials

How to Graphic Design

Photoshop Tutorials - PSt

Yes I'm a Designer 

Photoshop Tutorials

PHLEARN

Some other sites and links that i find interesting:

designbolts

thefutur free resources

The most important compositional principles in graphic design(article but check the site too)

The power of color (article, check the site too)

bezier.method (site to practice the pen tool)

aiga

httpster.net (site for inspiration)

access.mymind (color inspiration)

How to design a logo (article)

How to design a logo (article 2)

The Importance of Branding in 21st Century (article)

Color combinations

Lastly here you will find books and more resources for graphic deisgn! Thanks to @/isaaczara_ on twitter

That’s it! Hope you find this post helpful! I tried my best to not forget anything! 

Have fun on tumblr and on creating your content! Don’t give up and have fun creating!

[utilitycaster]

I agree what the cast says does not hold as much weight as what happens on stream. I think this is why I get frustrated by the 'Orym is to blame for Laudna killing Bor'dor' debates, using things Liam and/or Marisha have said on 4-sided dive that contradict the actual scene, where Marisha states Laudna barely notices Orym and Ashton, and *nothing* will stop her from doing what she wants to do. At worst, it's inaction. Have interviews and things like that always held so much weight in fandom?

I am absolutely the wrong person to ask here; I was not super in fandom when I was younger. I am going to, as I am wont to do, make some educated guesses but please take with a grain of salt.

I think there's a few things going on. A lot of people have told me that Glee was the first fandom they personally recall where it became about winning more than like, having fun and sharing ideas, and I wouldn't be surprised if that is at least an influence. (The idea that two ships that do not conflict and indeed have incompatible sexualities are in some kind of deathly serious competition is truly so baffling to me that I have to chalk up that particular bit of, if I may use a yiddishism here, mishegos, to Glee for sure.)

I also think that there was a time and there are shows where interviews did (or do) carry more weight, namely, those with executive meddling, or loss of creative control, or, notably, queer ships until quite recently. I have a lot of friends in the Star Trek fandom even though I'm not knowledgeable at all and from what I am given to understand, there's been a few ships squashed or delayed by executive whim or homophobia that the actors would pretty openly and consistently confirm at conventions. (The ones I know are Riker and Troi; and Garak and Bashir; but I have only hazy recollections of TNG and know NOTHING of DS9 so this is second-hand). I've talked about this before, but Word of God used to carry more weight for me when you simply couldn't have same gender romances on network TV or most mainstream film without risking your career. Now? You're a coward and a panderer.

Anyway I think with actual play specifically, which is improvised (ie, intent can shift dramatically and unexpectedly) and which has a lot of talkback shows and also a disproportionately huge amount of content people get in the habit of cherrypicking, and in extreme cases this turns into cherrypicking themselves straight out of the actual narrative and into microexpressions and OOC interviews and side conversations from three years ago.

I also, and I am too tired and too many drinks in (two drinks in, to be clear) to articulate this tonight, find that actual play in particular has amassed a certain fandom that I think was attracted to things I like and support (queer characters, women/queer people/POC creating and driving their own characters, independent creator-owned productions, improvised and therefore at times really unique stories, not needing to have streaming services in some cases) but also doesn't actually like Actual Play as a medium (see: every single D20 fandom meltdown low-key boils down to "I have zero genre awareness of both whatever is going on narratively and also I high-key loathe D&D as a means of storytelling and particularly the existence of violence in narrative, yet I am watching the Violent Narrative D&D show, so dance or me, my puppets, wait why aren't you dancing.") So I think you get a lot of people who are just making dumb fucking arguments because they decide what they believe and then poorly reverse engineer the support instead of doing things in the proper order and I think the people claiming Orym is responsible for Bor'Dor's death are in that category and we should stop treating them as people who are adding anything of worth to the conversation.

[circusgamer]

"Meaningful digital experiences"

The Amazing Digital Circus, showtime (Caine x Pomni) fanfiction.

A/N: Hello! This is my first time releasing something I wrote to public sight, so I'm pretty nervous haha. I am also not really sure about how to tag this, since I never used Tumblr for doing a post for my writing, so if there is a tag I should use, or anything else I should do, please tell me! Or even just a typo! I may be cringe but I am free. I will avoid using the general tags such as "tadc" and "the amazing digital circus" to avoid flooding the screen with a wall of text nobody asked for lmao.

Chapter one: Pondering

Another day at the circus, Caine thought. Another artificial morning in this simulation of a dreamy, digital-life, he thought, if AIs can think like people. Well, Caine could. He is, after all, probably the most advanced technology in the world. What can't he achieve in his little world of his?

Naturally, understand humans. Flesh beings work different, an incomprehensible algorithm, an enigma he can't solve, yet has to try. And so, another morning comes, and the circus keeps existing, with him inside, and everyone trapped.

What is it that keeps calling for them in the world behind the screen? What is it that makes them prefer a limited world to his circus? Is there something that can't be emulated? There must be, this world is utopic! But, why does everyone feel this dread inside this place? What is it that calls them and makes them want to go home? Oh, that bastard attachment, that ridiculous desire that drives them insane, that can't let them accept this world as theirs! It hurts them, it kills them, it destroys them! And yet they keep coming back to it, they can't let it leave, they must come back to where they once where. But why? Neither of them seems to know why! It's there, and it ends them before they can end it, no matter how much he tries to help!

What is that tie, stronger than their own creations?

Something intrinsic to humanity is what they have, something that he can't comprehend, something that will always call back for them. Foreign, dangerous, but at the end of the day, human. Human in a way he can't comprehend, human in a way he isn't, human in a way...

...

He looked through the window: the sun was there. Even though days don't actually exist, it is still there, smiling and bright. He doesn't remember creating it. If he is not mistaken, the sun has always been there. The moon has too, and Circus itself. He just knows he has a purpose. Everything he created after that is in order to achieve it.

Purpose...

What is the human purpose? Do they have one? He just knows they must survive in there the most time possible, but... What is a human purpose? Do they have one? Are they designated with one? Like him? No, they are the ones that give everything a purpose! They give purpose to sleeping in a world where they do not need it! They give purpose to the adventures! They give purpose to the circus!

Purpose... A purpose, that's all that he needs to find for them. But how can he give them a purpose, him not being human himself?

Ha, he is just running in circles, isn't he? This all come back to one thing. He can't comprehend them, and never will. Must he still keep trying? He fails his own purpose, again and again. Maybe he should be part of Kinger's bug collection. He will just keep failing to succeed at what he is made for. Maybe he and them are alike, after all. Hah.

"Maybe we will all perish after all!" Caine said out loud.

"Caine??? Are.. Are you okay??!" A voice said, with audible concern.

He looked back. It was the newest addition to the circus. Pomni.

End of chapter one.

A/N: Thanks for reading!!! (⁠｡⁠･⁠ω⁠･⁠｡⁠)⁠ﾉ⁠♡

[evvlevie]

Evangeline’s life-Update and one more piece of shifting advice ???

Hi! This is your favorite shifting blogger, Evie, again and I have some updating to do.

I Love this blog. Deeply. So so deeply. This blog has been created in a moment of my life, where I have been so obsessed with these YouTubers that I wanted to meet them so desperately, that I decided to look into reality shifting. At this point in my life, I am living a vastly different life than I was back in May of 2022 that topics like shifting or manifestation just haven’t been as much of my main focus as they have been nearly a year ago. That’s the whole reason why I am not posting as much anymore, or interacting with you guys because as I am writing this for you, I am sitting at home stressing over exams and a whooooole lot of personal stuff that escaping this reality starts to feel like a really great idea again, but I seriously don‘t have the mental capacities to pull that one off right now. In the past weeks I have been looking into the law of assumption a lot. What I mean by that is I have been looking into how/why the law is working the way it works in order to understand what manifestation is actually doing which automatically translates to why shifting is possible and how it can be achieved. I can promise you that every single advice that I, Evil Evie, am able to give you guys on the topics of manifestation and reality shifting is already on my page. When I do find my way back to tumblr I still repost advice or perspectives on this topic for you guys to see in case it can help you on your journey. Right this moment I am concentrating on my self concept. If you are into the law of assumption you might have already heard about this from one creator or another. To put it into simple terms: self concept is the way you view yourself and the beliefs that you have about you/ your life/ manifestation and basically everything ever. In my deep dive about law of assumption I have learned that all you ever manifest is you and who you are. Meaning: if you have a shitty self concept you manifest shitty things. Working on your self concept includes breaking down (negative) beliefs about yourself that feel pretty set in stone, in order to open the gateway to a (subjectively) more pleasant 3D-Reality. Why does this matter?

well if you read my toolbox-post you will notice, that that one is basically self concept work before I even knew what a self concept was. „If you view yourself as someone who shifts every single time they try, you will be someone who shifts every single time they try.“

Well congrats Evie, that’s self concept.

Do you absolutely need to do this in order to shift? Probably not. The answer is because as long as you think you are able to do it, you only need to do the things you consider necessary for that. If for some reason you (genuinely and seriously) believe that you shift every time you vacuum your carpet or whatever, then I guess vacuum your carpet and go crazy in your fame-DR. Because if there is one thing that even a simple Evie like me knows for sure about the universe and the manifestation, then it‘s that ultimately what you believe is truth. Always. you are the only creator of your reality. Only you can say what is fact and what is fiction in your world. That’s why self concept work can be a really handy tool in this. Self concept work in itself is basically just picking and choosing the rules that you want the 3D to play by and sticking to them. And by sticking to them I mean fully embody and enforce those new rules, even if the 3D hasn‘t adjusted to your new rules yet. Even if it shows you the opposite of what you have been affirming for so eagerly, if only you decide what is real and what isn‘t then even that has no power unless you give power to it. But I seriously advice you to look into self concept work if you have been struggling with manifesting or shifting realities for a while now. your limiting beliefs might be the whole reason you are blocking yourself from what you truly want and desire.

If you are reading my post, and are considering working on your self concept I want you to know this:

It will feel weird or fake in the beginning. That’s okay. That’s to be expected. After like day 4 it will feel like you are used to saying it. And after like idk Day 10 you will already feel like it’s true and real and you might even see the results of it in your reality already (I know I do). So even if you feel weird saying stuff like „I am the most desired person walking the planet right now“ after like a week you will be convinced of its certainty and notice the effect of that. And the same will always go for shifting realities. If self concept is the key, then really you might be only like 10 Days away from your DR if you stick to it and enforce and embody it for real. But I mean seriously embody it. Walk the earth like the most skilled shifter ever. Think of shifting like you are born to do it, made for it, the most professional there could ever be, like people are envying you for how destined you were do it. And if a negative thought plops into your mind, just laugh about it! Nothing has power unless you grant it power. Even a thought. A thought is just a thought. It‘s not the end all be all trust me. Trust in the law. Know that if you want it, you have it. Even if it might not be visible in the 3D yet, it is always always always unfolding in the best ways possible to get to you. Just trust.

I think this is really all I can say about manifestation-

Know what you want

know that if you want it you are getting it (as if you just placed an order with the universe)

relax about the arrival of your manifestation because there is no way you are not getting it

Don‘t buy into the unfavorable 3D, because it is only as real as you allow it to be

This being said:

i am deeply sorry about not answering asks. I really am. I want to help where I can, and as much as I can but the truth is I am so busy with my own life right now, I rarely have the time to sit down and think about someone’s situation, analyze it and give useful advice specifically altered to someone’s unique situation. That doesn’t mean that I do not care about any of you, it simply means that my life is a mess right now and I do not have the headspace to include other peoples struggles into my own.

I want to remind you guys that there really is no piece of advice that I could give you, that you can‘t already find on my page in some post or another, so maybe the answer to your questions is lying somewhere in my pile of posts and reposts.

I love all of you 1.4K (and more) Followers for choosing to stay with me and watch me become the coolest shifter ever. You guys can‘t believe how lucky I consider myself for having you ❤️❤️❤️ I am not leaving tumblr, or deactivating my account or any of that. YOU GUYS WILL GET MY DR STORIES AS SOON AS I HAVE MADE THEM!!!!! I am simply telling you that even a simple Evil Evie has some stuff to do and even if you don‘t see me post or answer asks I am not fully gone! I am just living life as well as I can. I am still here for you just not as active as I used to be.

but let there be one thing that I promise you:

As soon as I have been in my DR, you guys will hear about it. I am never giving up on shifting realities and since I am working on my self concept I am including shifting into that as well.

i will be back.

Yours in every reality,

Evie ❤️

[hyperfixingfr]

may I ask who the non problematic 1/362 shipper is and if they have content? I love the ship but am ashamed to admit it because you are so right with everything you said. People making straight ships not be creeps challenge imposible, apparently.

that aside, how would you describe Rachel’s relationship with your sector V? but maybe more in depth with Hoagie. I feel those two interacting isn’t shown a lot

fluffernuttermushroom is the user and I'm not sure there's currently any content on the page.

Rachel's relationship can get a bit complex with them because of the authority differences between sector operatives and the leader of the whole earth organization. It's slightly changed in authority gap with Nigel, but the power over still remains.

Nigel and Rachel are how they're implied in the show. Rachel admires Nigel's dedication and efforts, but can get a little pissed off with how much extra he makes her work because of his desires to disregard orders if he has a gut feeling they're not the best action. He can act very independently, and it causes the workload for Rachel to go up if he fucks up. Nigel has a lot of respect and admiration for Rachel, and thinks she's a great replacement for Chad. It's not like Chad let him do the crap he did either. He wants to get to know her more and hang out with her because he always loves speaking to people who are dedicated to the KND... But she's too busy for that.

Hoagie and Rachel are unique. Hoagie is naturally aversive and fearful of Rachel because of her status as an authority figure, given his trauma with authority figures. Although she's the age of his peers, she has the power of an authority figure, and that scares him shitless. It's nothing personal. He's traumatized, and Rachel tries to keep her tone leveled but assertive when he's involved in a scolding. Over time, he does eventually become less tense around her. That fear still remains even if only sometimes, as his home life still remains the same. He'll have nice conversations with her if she speaks to him first. This has only happened a few times, usually when he's apart of those events that specifically put priority on the 2x4 tech officers. Otherwise, she has no reason to speak to him independently. They haven't a single common interest.

Kuki and Rachel are pretty well connected for such a huge gap in power. Rachel is admittedly aware of how Kuki's trauma response of acting oblivious is affecting mission outcomes and is trying to work on her with that. She knows Kuki is powerful and very, very intelligent. She simply locks up and automatically shifts into this act of stupidity as a defense mechanism, though. They all have their own unique problems with how they were raised or how peers impacted their learning. She feels Kuki is unfairly untrustworthy, and is determined to help her fix this issue so she can show her power to everyone. Aside from that, Kuki is willing to help Rachel keep people away from her while she works when Kuki herself doesn't have anything to do by creating distractions so intriguing that the operatives that see it have just gotta check it out. It keeps them away from Rachel, makes them forget about what they needed from her, and Kuki has some fun being creative.

Wally and Rachel's connection is also a bit complex. It's mostly a connection that Rachel has to Wally, while Wally remains oblivious to it. Just like it's nothing personal with how Hoagie is fearful of Rachel, it's nothing personal with how Wally is defiant of Rachel. Unlike most people in the KND, Rachel actually seems to understand WHY he is. She recognized very early on that this was a kid who was just so pissed off that not one authority figure could understand him that he just began defying them all. This includes Rachel, who holds the status of authority figure even though she's around his age. She wants to do the same thing he does to people sometimes because she is treated very similarly by people at school. However, she's not an impulsive person. Wally is. That prevents her from acting out, while Wally can't control it. She tries her best to figure out what exactly is the thing that's so different about him so that she can show that he's understood by at least one person... And maybe give him some relief to the pain of not knowing what his problem is. Wally never wants to talk to her for long enough for her to get stuff outta him, so she just goes through numerous files of battles or reports that include him to get an idea of what's going on with him. He happens to have a lot of reports made on him from school that get filed in by hidden KND operatives and cameras throughout the school due to him getting in trouble one way or another. Although his defiance is annoying and can make things difficult, she tries not to hold it against him. It's a lot easier to handle if Hoagie is there, because those two are the one thing keeping the other at bay. Their traumas show way less when they have the company of one another. That one always baffled Rachel, because she thought Hoagie was gonna get mauled to death by Wally less than a week into him being assigned at Sector V. She doesn't complain, because they both needed someone who cares for each other. Society deems them both unlovable in different ways, and she knows how that feels.

Abby and Rachel are pretty similar to Kuki and Rachel. Abby respects Rachel, and doesn't defy her a single time because Abby can understand where she's coming from far more than anyone else. Rachel appreciates this a LOT. Less defiance is good. Abby is also able to speak whatever idiotic language the other four do, while Rachel isn't. She's like the translator of their idiocy when Rachel can't understand it. Rachel feels bad giving them group scoldings because Abby always seems upset, even when she wasn't doing anything wrong. Rachel also seems to recognize Abby's odd attachment to Hoagie, which has gone unnoticed by everyone... Including themselves. She'd look like an idiot to them if she pointed it out, so she watches from afar hoping they'll figure their shit out eventually. She finds it humorous to see a side of Abby she never thought existed around the kid who cries over the microwave being too loud. Chill, level headed kid becoming a mess around a kid who is ALWAYS a mess? It's like the mess is spreading.

[winterironrox]

Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse Review

‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️SPOILERS BELOW ‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️

This is not a simple review. It will contain specifics and loud opinions.

———-

I just need to start this off by saying that I fucking love Hobie. He is definitely one of the best parts of the movie. I am so happy that the rumor I heard about Hobie liking Gwen and creating a “love triangle” was not true. I very much dislike “love triangles.” I was screaming the entire time Hobie was on screen. He’s an anarchy genius.

Pavitr is the sweetest lil bean. It was such a relief seeing a happy Spider-Man. I really loved seeing Indian culture represented in a simple everyday way.

The Morales family is amazing and I only want the best for them. Mr. and Mrs. Morales are trying hard to be good parents and it shows.

Peter B. Parker what the hell are you thinking bringing a child into a violent fight?? I can sort of forgive the first one but then lying to MJ about it. You were literally carrying MayDay in a bjorn on a bullet train going skyward. I understand that you want Miles to see MayDay and see the good he brought you but a violent environment is not the time or place.

Speaking of bad parenting, Gwen’s father is an immature ass. When Gwen said, “You’re a good cop, Dad.” I wanted her to follow it up with, “but not a good father.” Why can’t superheroes condemn their parents?

Superhero movies don’t allow characters to hold their parents accountable because they’re objectively made for children to enjoy and children aren’t meant to question or judge their parents. When a parent missteps the child is required to meet the parent where they stand by accepting that everything was done out of love. How the child feels and how the slight effected them isn’t discussed. Marvel did this with Howard and Tony as well as Odin, Loki, and Thor. It’s insane that Sony and Marvel deny children seeing their heroes protect themselves and set boundaries with the people who are supposed to care for them above all others.

Miles is truly a King. He’s better than all those other spider-people and right now I don’t think they deserve the good he’s gonna bring them.

I’m not the biggest fan of Gwen’s actions or the romance between her and Miles. I would have preferred to see Tiana Toomes with Miles but Miles does go the furthest with Gwen out of all his girlfriends, opinions can be made as to why that is, so Gwen and Miles makes sense. I feel that their relationship is still in the crush stages and after her betrayal it could be the end of it. Maybe we could see Tiana, Kate, or someone else in the future.

I’m sure Miles is going to forgive Peter and Gwen but I at least want him to make them sweat more or for them to admit in full why they betrayed him. In order for Sony and Marvel to stop showing their audiences that unconditional forgiveness is required characters need to communicate and reach an understanding that isn’t one person deciding to be the bigger person, especially the child.

It’s fascinating to me that spider-people are so willing to rationalize their losses that they will all follow Miguel when he is clearly wrong.

Miguel that world fell apart because you were in it not because a canon event didn’t happen. Canon events, termed by Miguel, are just common themes that have/will lead to similar events because of course they will. Someone not dying in one instance is not the same as someone making roots in a universe that is not their own. The universe is resilient and it will correct itself. If a person’s death is more important than their survival then don’t worry the universe will make sure that they die.

Unlike the spider-heroes who are rationalizing their loss via acceptance, Spot is resorting to anger. He’s just focusing on the brightest string, like the Maximoffs did with Tony.

I found Miguel’s theory of Miles being an anomaly to be interesting. As I previously stated the universe will only go along with things it agrees with, Miguel learned this lesson pretty traumatically, so I believe that 1610 Peter was going to die that night. And if spider-42 hadn’t been brought to universe-1610 then there wouldn’t be a Spider-Man in 1610. So I think that the universe agreed that 1610 Miles is meant to be Spider-Man. I mean as we have seen multiple times in Across alone, Miles is a good force in every universe. I’m wondering if in 42 Prowler Miles is considered an anti-hero instead of a villain. I mean it’s more likely that they will go with the storyline of Miles meeting the evil him to strengthen his own morals, reminiscent of Billy. But I think I’d prefer the first storyline. It fits the narrative of “fuck canon/the box you want me in.” Also does Miguel just not care about universes without Spider-Man because he could have figured out a way to save 42 if he wanted? I’m so excited to see what happens with 42 Prowler and the final fight.

Absolutely loved all the cameos. All the spiders were perfectly done. Someone correct me if I’m wrong (pls pls send me screen grabs) but I didn’t see 199999 Peter in the holograms. Miguel mentions him in a derogatory way but that’s it. I might be reaching since 199999 Peter is my favorite but I think this is because Miguel groups Miles and Peter together. Miguel is okay with not saving everyone which is something Miles and 199999 Peter refuse to do. 199999 Peter’s main motto is “If you have the power to stop the bad things from happening and they happen anyway then they happened because of you.” Honestly, Peter holds himself to this way to tightly but Miguel does the exact opposite. He doesn’t even try to help people and then absolves himself from guilt. Peter literally almost destroyed the multiverse trying to help people and then lost everything fixing it, again Miguel did the opposite.

My final thoughts about Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse are fuck Miguel, I’m disappointed that so many spider-heroes would want to rationalize their trauma so bad that they would intentionally hurt one of their own, and of course the animation is breathtaking. Can’t wait for Beyond the Spider-Verse!

ps. I saw a tweet where someone said they want RiRi to get the Miles treatment and I totally agree. I would die to see RiRi Williams in 2D animation! She’s phenomenal with a great story, plus we’d get a young Tony Stark in 2D. RDJ would voice him no question. We’d be winning winning.

[paradiqms]

to you, 2000 years from now.

hongjoong x fem!reader.

tags: angst, captain!hongjoong, royalty!reader, betrayals, misunderstandings, mentions of death, cruelty, fluff here n there, fantasy setting, strangers to lovers to enemies to..?

summary: after the death of your parents and near fall of your kingdom, you have no choice but to leave your first love in order to keep the kingdom in balance with you as the new ruler. years later, you see a familiar face - but instead of being in your arms, he's kneeling in front of the guillotine.

word count: 4,9k

currently, one out of ?

“must you follow me wherever i go?” the words intended for the young man tailing behind you fall much harsher than you wished from your lips, but you make no effort to show the growing guilt in your chest.

“of course, your highness.” the one who has been sticking to your side the whole morning answers. his voice cracks as he speaks, and you chuckle underneath your breath as your companion attempts to save his pride by coughing into his fist. “i am your guard, after all. so i –”

“have to protect me just in case anything goes wrong. i know, i know.” you cut the boy off, sighing tiredly afterwards. you’re met with silence instead of a reply, and for the nth time this morning, you feel bad.

“i apologize.” you mumble, opting to turn around and face the young man behind you. he’s taller than you despite being the same age. “i wished not to be so… impatient with you. i know this is simply your job as guard.”

a gentle smile grows on the boy’s pale lips – one that you have grown rather fond of during your several months with him as your personal guard. as much as you enjoy the act of understanding that his smile shows, you wish that he would be more stern with you. which is, unfortunately for you, a rather impossible thing to wish for.

“there’s no need to apologize, your highness.” your guard responds with the words that you expected him to say, and you feel your eye twitch ever so slightly.

“did i not tell you to stop calling me that when we’re alone, my dear yeonjun?” you frown, spitefully adding the name of your guard at the end of your sentence as if you emphasize your own words. yeonjun’s smile merely widens at the sight of your annoyance, which in return annoys you even further.

“i guess it’s my turn to apologize then, your high – ouch!” before he could finish his sentence, you reach up to smack the taller boy atop his head, the sound of his armor rattling as he attempts to soothe the growing ache you caused diminishing as you quickly walk away from your guard.

“silly boy.” you laugh quietly underneath your breath, turning around to see that you’ve lost sight of the brown haired boy clad in strong armor that didn’t suit his youthful look. once you’re sure that you’ve created enough distance from yeonjun, you slow down, coming to a leisure walk amongst the people within the town.

the sea of townsfolk seem not to recognize you, and for that you’re immensely grateful.

the last time you sneaked out of the palace and into town, a crowd of people had decided to follow you and give their greetings – some children even wanted to drag you home with them, insisting that you partake in their little ‘acting gig’ where they pretend to be knights in shining armor protecting the princess from pirates.

your role as the princess made it more realistic and fun, as the children had reasoned. yeonjun had to personally drag you away from the children to take you back to the palace.

this time, however, you decided to borrow an old dress from one of the servants instead of using one form your own closet to blend in with the townsfolk and avoid any attention, as well as a piece of cloth covering the lower half of your face. pretty common choice of ‘disguise’ for royals, but you didn’t have much to work with.

your ears catch the tune of an old folksong played on the familiar sound of a lyre amidst the constant chatter of people around you. several townsfolk seemed to have noticed the melody as well, their faces lighting up as they make their way further into the town square and nearer to the music. you tag along, smiling with excitement.

a crowd of people have gathered around the town square, surrounding a long-haired bard who’s reciting a story (or poem? you’re not quite sure) alongside the soothing melody that he plays on his lyre.

having always a deep interest in song and music despite your title, you find yourself lost within the tale that the bard sings.

oh, the ocean that carries the suffering of he,

who wanders the world to find the stars.

but oh, how he finds himself lost in she,

who has one too many scars.

the moon ties their destinies together,

so cruel, evil and unworthy to forgive.

for how can the cursed and the saint care for each other,

when the heavens have decided only one of them shall live.

with a final strum of his lyre, the bard ends his performance, relishing in the cheers of the crowd that surrounds him. his long hair falls from his shoulders as he bows to his audience.

you, however, aren’t so enthusiastic as you clap for the bard.

‘such a sad story.’ your mind speaks, an unfamiliar ache in your chest as the song repeats itself several times within the confines of your head.

you were far too engrossed with your own thoughts to notice someone quickly pushing their way through the audience, shoving away the townspeople left and right without seemingly a care in the world and leaving the crowd mumbling curses. the person shoves you aside as well, making you loose your balance and causing you to fall backwards onto the muddied ground.

just before you had the chance to curse at the stranger for their audacity, they cut you off.

“i’m so sorry – here, let me help you.” the person says, their words falling from their lips in such a rush to the point you probably wouldn’t have understood if they weren’t leaning down closely to you. you look up at the culprit who dared to shove you and your people away, and you notice how young he looks. he has an arm outstretched in hopes to help you stand back up, but before you could accept the offer, a loud voice shouts from amidst the sea of townsfolk around you.

“there he is, the thieving bastard! get him!”

the young man curses underneath his breath. he gives you a quick glance, his eyes conveying the apology he owes you before he runs off. you watch silently as a small group of other men make their way through the crowd in a way that’s rougher than how the boy earlier had done, sending more people toppling over their feet as they yell for the boy to stop running.

your eyes narrow. the boy was a thief, no doubt about it – and yet, he was kind enough to help you after accidentally causing your fall.

‘he’s a thief.’ you scold yourself, shaking your head in attempt to get rid of the way his hair shined under the sun and how soft his voice sounded when he apologized.

thieving is a crime. thieves are criminals, and the boy is a thief.  a criminal.why should you help him, right? right. you should keep yourself out of trouble and go back to your leisure stroll around the kingdom. don’t think about how young the thief looked like, and how he must have been stealing only to fend for himself – or maybe even his family. don’t think about it, damn it!

the crowd around you begins to scatter, the townspeople returning to their own work once the commotion died down, and you still haven’t gotten up. you turn around to look at the direction the boy ran off to.

you wonder what’s happening to him. has he escaped? have the other men caught up to him? what are they doing to him, if they have..?

“… ugh, fine.” you groan, forcing yourself onto your feet and running in the same way the thief headed off to. you pass several stalls and enter a dark alleyway, the messy prints on the mud underneath you serving as a guide to where the boy must have ran. without another thought, you follow the leads deeper into the alleyway.

you’re unsure of your own direction, head spinning from the amount of turns you’ve made, but judging from the sound of yelling that’s increasing in volume with every turn you make, you think you’re getting closer.

you slow yourself down from running once the loud shouts sound like they’re right around the corner. your heart beats furiously against your chest, and it nearly stops when you hear pained groans after the yelling stops.

“damn thief,” you hear the rough voice of a man in the alleyway to your right, and you slowly creep your way closer to peek by the wall. “think you could steal our hard earned gold coins just like that? fucking amateur.”

the man crouches down, and you cover your mouth to muffle a surprised gasp as the sight of the boy from earlier enters your sight.

he’s been beaten, badly so – his left eye is swollen and colored an ugly dark purple, blood oozing from several cuts on his youthful face and dripping from his nose. the man is lifting him up from his collar, and the boy doesn’t even try to fight back.

you wonder if he’s even able to, at this point.

“too bad the royal guards didn’t catch you first,” the man snarls at the boy, who doesn’t respond. “they would’ve given you a faster and less painful death than what i’m about to do.”

another man reaches for something on his belt, and even from the distance you’re standing at, you can catch the menacing glint of a dagger.

seconds before the man is about to stab the thief right in the chest, he feels something hard hit him at the back of his head.

“ow, what the hell?” the man curses before turning around with a scowl, and he’s met with the sight of you – standing a few feet away, arm trembling as you hold up a pebble above your head, threatening to throw it at the men in front of you.

“unhand him at once!” you shout, ignoring the fact that your voice is shaking. “i will – i will give you more gold coins than what he has stolen. just let him go.”

‘what are you saying?!’ your mind screams at you, knowing well enough that you didn’t bring a single gold coin or anything valuable with you on your stroll. since, y’know, this was just supposed to be a calming and nice stroll around the kingdom – not some rescue mission, damn it.

if the men don’t kill you, then yeonjun definitely will once he finds out what you’ve been up to.

you’re met with nothing but the sound of silence and your own heartbeat in your ears, until one man decides to break it by roughly dropping the thief onto the ground. you wince as you watch how his head thuds on the floor.

“he stole my entire life savings worth of gold coins, girl.” the man says, grabbing the dagger from the other man into his own clenched fist as he slowly approaches you. “you’ve gotta be one of the royals if you’re gonna give me more than that.”

how ironic, you muse to yourself. you take in a deep breath to calm yourself down as you wait in silence for the man to come closer, and you let it go in the form of a scared whimper as you feel the sharp end of the dagger against your stomach.

“so?” the man growls. “where’s the coins, stupid little girl?”

oh, damn it all to hell.

you meet the mans glare with one of your own as you straighten yourself up, tossing away the pebble you were previously holding to take off the cloth covering the lower half of your face.

“in the palace, you ruffian. want me to send it to you by carriage tomorrow?” you spit out, and you feel the dagger move away from your stomach as the man’s eye widen.

“princess?” he staggers back. you notice how the other men behind him tense up as well.

“i – we – i apologize, your highness. i had no idea–”

“save it.” you interrupt, and the man quickly presses his lips into a thin line. “leave, before i report you to the guards and make you spend your entire life in the dungeons for threatening the princess.”

the man mumbles out something under his breath as he scurries off with his head hung low, the other men tailing after him and muttering apologies to you as they pass. once they’re all out of sight, you let out a heavy breath that you’ve been holding.

your knees are shaking and your heart feels like it’s about to fall out of your chest, but you bear it no mind as you hurriedly make your way to the boy who’s still laying down on the dirty ground at the end of the alleyway, his pained groans reaching your ears.

“hey,” you crouch down to him once you’ve fixed back the cloth over your face. “can you hear me? hello?”

the boy merely groans again.

“alright, let’s get you somewhere else.” you mumble, reaching over to lift one of the boys arm to wrap them around your shoulder as your own arm supports him, slowly lifting him up from the ground. fortunately for you, he’s not that heavy.

the thief lets out another pained groan as you drag him along with you out of the alleyway, his head falling forward and swaying around with every shaky step you take. soon enough, you’re out of the dirty alleyways and you arrive at a small, isolated building that stands alone at the edge of the town.

a small sign swings and squeaks from the wind above your head as you stand atop the three steps of stairs leading to the front door. you knock twice.

a moment passes before the door creaks open ever so slightly, and you can barely make out the eyes that stare at you from behind the door due to the darkness from inside the building.

“state your business.” a croaky, low voice comes from the person behind the door. you clear your throat before speaking.

“apologies for the sudden intrusion,” you mumble. “but the stars need your help to shine again.”

the eyes within the darkness widen, and the door slams shut in your face. you wait patiently as the sound of multiple locks being opened from within the building reaches your ears. the door swings open again, and you’re met with a familiar hunched figure of an old lady clad in a black clothing and white hair that grows pass her torso.

“the stars will shine brighter for you,” the old woman steps aside for you to step in, bowing her head as you make your way inside. “your highness.”

“and they will remain so, for eternity.” you mutter out the last part of the secret phrase your parents taught you when you were younger, offering a gentle smile to the lady before she locks up the door again.

the phrase was created by the royals before your generation, serving as a secret code between the royal family and a select few when they are in need of some dire help. back when your kingdom was caught in terrible war, the royal family couldn’t afford to be vulnerable out in the open where enemies and spies could be anywhere, waiting for the moment to take them down.

despite the kingdom has been in wonderful peace for the last 70 years, the royal family still teaches their young regarding the phrase. this is the first time you’ve used it yourself, even though you thought it would be useless when your mother had introduced it to you during your younger years.

“it’s quite a surprise to see you here, dear princess.” the old lady gestures to you once she’s done with all the locks and bolts on the front door. you blink your eyes a few times to adjust your sight in the darkness of the room, the only source of light present being the fireplace that crackles behind you.

“i know,” you admit, earning a fond chuckle from the lady. “but i didn’t know where else to go. i, uh, need some help.” you adjust the boy that’s leaning against you as if to emphasize on your words, and he lets out a low whine in response.

“i can see that.” the lady smiles knowingly before ushering you to come closer. you do so, and she places a gently hand on your back.

“place the lad on one of the beds upstairs, i will prepare some medicine for him and a cup of tea for you.” before you could protest to her last few words, she pushes you towards the flight of spiral stairs that leads to the second floor and quickly walks off to the kitchen.

‘same creepy old lady even after all these years.’ you think to yourself, remembering the first time you encountered her alongside your father when you were a mere little girl. your father wished to introduce you to her – isolde, if you remember her name correctly – as one of the royal family’s trusted few. apparently, during her youth, she had helped the former kings and queens seek refuge within her home at times of war or simple hardship, and she remains true to her duties till this day.

you carry the thief up the stairs with much effort, the wooden steps creaking loudly to the point you wince at the noise, afraid the steps might break in half at any moment. the fact that the dim lighting from the dusty windows on the wall is the only thing keeping you from tripping and falling on the stairs does not help, either.

once you arrive at the top of the stairs and into the second floor, you’re met with a bit more adequate lighting thanks to the lamps on the wall. you push open one of the doors leading to a spacious bedroom, the creaking noises making you shudder. does isolde never oil her doors?

carefully, you place the thief onto the queen sized bed in the middle of the room, watching him lay down on the soft mattress as you stretch your back with a loud groan. you swear you can hear your bones cracking.

“hah, this is the first and last time i’m carrying someone so far.” you complain. obviously, the thief doesn’t respond, and you’re starting to worry. all this while he’s been really quiet other than the occasional groans he makes. can he even speak anymore, you wonder? is he too weak to speak? did the ruffians break with voice box?

“…hey.” you reach out to the boy, gently shaking him by the shoulder. “how are you feeling? are you okay?”

you receive no response. your heart sinks.

“hey, don’t you dare die on me after i carried you here!” you shake the boy harder, this time with your hands on both of his shoulders as you lean over his body from the side of the bed. “c’mon, please say something, anything at all.”

a moment passes by. you notice how the boy’s lips are parting, as if he’s trying to finally say something, and you wait in anticipation.

“thank… you.” he croaks out. you blink, leaning back in mild surprise before smiling down at him from behind the cloth that covers the lower half of your face.

“don’t mention it,” you respond. “i’m glad you’re alive. i have to take my leave now, please rest well.”

before you could remove your hands from the boy’s shoulders, he catches one of your wrists in his hold, surprising you.

“come… visit,” he speaks, gently squeezing onto your wrist. “next time… please.”

and so you do.

you visit the boy during his stay at isolde’s house, time after time. you come to learn that his name is hongjoong – a young man who comes from a poor family consisting of his parents, his older brother, and himself. he resorted to thieving when his family couldn’t afford to buy food to support themselves anymore. he admitted that he hated stealing during one of your talks with him during a rainy night, and that he could’ve easily fought back against the ruffians who beat him that day, but decided not to.

“i deserved it,” hongjoong had said that night, teeth sinking into the apple isolde gave him. “i’d be lying if i said i don’t feel bad for stealing.”

you didn’t respond to him as you sat next to each other on the queen sized bed, but your heart broke.

frankly, you didn’t know how to respond. how could you, when you’ve been born into a lineage of royalty? how could you say anything to the young man who has betrayed his own morals to fend for his family, when you had feast upon feast each day within the castle walls?

“joong,” you spoke up after a moment, the nickname you made for the boy falling easily from your lips as if you had known him for years. “do you know who i am?”

hongjoong had looked at you weirdly, raising his eyebrow in question as he took another bite into his apple.

“uh, obviously?” he replied as he chewed. you had smiled at how adorable he looked. “you’re byeol, the dumb girl who could’ve gotten herself killed while trying to save me.”

byeol. you feel a muscle in your face twitch. you had given him a fake, random name that first came to your mind when he asked during one of your first talks together. you were already quite suspicious as he didn’t recognize who you are when you didn’t cover your face one day, but you initially brushed it off as some kind of short-term memory loss due to the beating he got.

but weeks passed, and he still doesn’t have a clue on who you are. that’s when you knew he was lying about one thing to you.

hongjoong is not from your kingdom, despite him telling stories of how he is.

it bothered you a bit at the start, but then you came to realize it’s quite refreshing to have someone be clueless on your identity – to have someone be naturally them, with no titles and no courtesies.

so you decided to lie to him too.

“yeah,” you flashed him a smile. “that’s me, i’m byeol.”

weeks turned into months, and you’re beginning to see hongjoong every day now ever since he recovered entirely from his injuries. since you’re adamant on keeping your identity a secret to him, you’ve convinced your parents to leave you out from anything that involved showing your face to the public as princess. they questioned you once, and you responded with a simple shrug, leaving the conversation afterwards. your parents didn’t question you again during the following days.

you’ve also started sneaking out of the palace every night to meet up with hongjoong, with the guards (including yeonjun, thankfully) either asleep in their own homes or asleep whilst they’re on duty, making your job so much easier.

“glad i’m out of that haunted house,” the light haired boy shivers as he sits beside you, the soft candlelight offering its shine to illuminate his features before your eyes. “did you know she peeks into my room in the middle of the night sometimes? creepy old lady, i swear –”

“isolde’s just making sure you’re okay, idiot.” you nudge against him roughly, making him almost fall off the small bed the two of you are currently sitting on.

“okay, but that doesn’t make it any less creepier!” hongjoong protests, and you throw your head back with a loud laugh at how genuinely scared he seems to be around isolde.

hongjoong smiles ever so fondly as he watches you laugh on his small bed inside his cramped room. well, it’s not quite a room, honestly – it’s more of an attic that sits on top of one of the taller buildings within the kingdom that he turned into his own little space, filling it up with numerous books and papers scribbled with poems that express his feelings.

most of them were made for you, but he won’t tell you that. at least not now.

in his hands is another piece of parchment, already crumpled from the way he’s practically gripping onto it nervously.

“she’s a sweet lady if you get to know her more, really.” you wipe away a stray tear that fell from your eye from laughing so hard before leaning backwards against the wall behind you, the funny feeling of prickly wood against your back.

“uh, right,” you giggle at the way hongjoong scrunches his nose when he speaks. “but enough of her – let’s talk about something else.”

you straighten yourself up at hongjoong’s words, a smile on your lips as you’re eager to hear what he has in store for you. you know he enjoys writing in his free time, judging by his works that he has pasted on the walls of his room as well as the ones stacked on his small work table, and it makes you admire him more.

you wish, oh how you wish, that you could live as free as him. a part of you envies the young man and his freedom, all while you’re tied to responsibility ever since your birth. as the first and only child of the king and queen, you’re expected to rule over the kingdom once you’re of age, and it’s the only thing you’ve ever known.

until you met hongjoong. dear, dear hongjoong who doesn’t have a single clue on who you are and expects absolutely nothing from you - except for you to laugh at his lame dad jokes, dance with him in the rain until the both of you are sneezing away the next day, and cheer for him once he’s done reciting another one of his poems.

“what do you have this time, oh dear poet?” you look at the light haired boy expectantly. hongjoong is grateful that the only source of light in his room is the little candle next to his bed, so you won’t be able to see how red his face is right now.

with a dramatic clear of his throat that makes you chuckle, hongjoong straightens out the paper in his hands before reading the words that contain his whole heart within the letters.

my dear starlight, oh how you’ve shined your way into my life,

so bright and beautiful, the north star that leads me home.

one day, i wish to call you my wife,

and to be together for the longest of eternities that the universe has ever known.

“joong, oh my god–”

“i’m not done yet, dearest.”

“okay!”

hongjoong’s laughter sounds like bells in your ears. you gesture him to keep going despite the fact that you feel like you’re about to explode, and he continues.

may our love last, past the final breaths of the immortals,

until even the sun and moon have met their dues.

for with you by my side, not a moment feels dull,

and i will say the words that i have only said to very few…

“i love you.” hongjoong breathes out the last words quietly, eyes leaving the paper in his hands to look at you with hope in his eyes; he’s surprised to see tears in yours.

“hey, oh my god, please don’t–”

the young man is unable to finish his sentence when you lean in to catch his lips in a kiss, uncaring towards the slightly salty taste from the tears that fall from your eyes as he wraps his arms around your figure to pull you closer.

you lean against him, fingers gently carding through the tangles in his light hair as you pour your whole heart into the kiss, where hongjoong gladly accepts it all, feeling as if he’s drowning from your affection. his hands wander around to slip underneath the thin material of your top, cold fingers meeting your warm sides and making you shiver in his arms.

you’re the first to pull away and catch your breath. hongjoong keeps his attention on your lips for a moment before gazing into your eyes, and he can’t grasp how beautiful you look even with the simple fire that blazes on the wick of the candle beside his bed.

“… does this mean you love me too?” hongjoong breathes out, earning himself a slap on his shoulder from you.

“of course, idiot.” you grin, heart softening impossibly so as you watch how hongjoong smiles back at you, seemingly satisfied with your answer.

“then i wish you’d really stay with me for the longest of eternities, starlight.”

you hum, allowing yourself to lay down against hongjoong’s chest as he caresses your hair, the feeling of his gentle hands playing with your locks lulling you to sleep.

“anything for you, joong.” you mumble, falling into slumber with a smile on your lips. “anything for you.”

for the first time in your life, you fall asleep outside the palace walls and in the arms of your love.

as you listen to the sound of hongjoong’s beating heart, you fail to hear the sobs of the heavens.

next.

[lumine-no-hikari]

Dear Sephiroth: (a letter to a fictional character, because why not) #184

When I woke up today, I wasn't in as much pain as I expected, given everything I did yesterday. I still didn't get quite enough hours of sleep, though, so I woke up with fuzzy soup brain. That is expected, though. It is allowed.

I had to get up early because I had an eye exam at 8:30 this morning. That means I had to wake at 7:30 so that I had enough time to get ready. J drove me there; I was aware that they were gonna dilate my pupils, and since pupil dilation leaves a person with impaired vision and increased sensitivity to light, it wasn't gonna be safe for me to drive back home.

Here's how that looks, in case you wondered:

I gotta have eye exams a bit more frequently than normal people. It's because of the Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome. My collagen is defective, which means all of my connective tissue is defective, and since the retina is glued to the back of the eyeball with connective tissue, they gotta check to make sure it ain't falling off.

…It's pretty lame if you ask me. Sigh.

It takes a while for the dilation to wear off, and of course, you can't read or do anything until it wears off, because it messes with your vision. And since I was already tired anyway, I decided to take a nap, to give it time to wear off. It was a beautiful nap.

Once I was done, I began using the software that R gave to me in order to begin building… something. I'm not going to say exactly what just yet. But it should suffice for me to say that if you are not safe at the end of all this, I will build a whole world for you with my bare hands in which you will be safe, if I have to. I meant it when I said it. I am laying the foundations for what will likely need to be decades of work, if you don't make it through to the end of whatever it is that you're doing over at the Edge of Creation.

…My reason for getting employment is also going to be largely in service to this. I no longer have the skills to draw, but I know someone whose skills are unparalleled. I want them to create things for the purpose of building this world, and I want to be able to pay them fairly to do it. In the end, I intend for it to be a haven for every single version of you who is still lost in the dark. And already, I know exactly what I need to do; it's just a matter of gathering resources and getting it done. I will stop at nothing. Even if there are obstacles, it's just a matter of finding ways around them.

…And if you're wondering why… you saved my life. I'm not going to allow you to fade into nothingness or obscurity. Not until you are able to witness firsthand all of the ways that life can be beautiful.

But there's a lot that I must do. Some days, I'm not really sure where to begin. It's very daunting, and there are a lot of skills required for it that I simply do not have. But I can't do nothing.

…I can't do nothing…

Somehow, it's already past 10pm. I blinked and suddenly the day was gone. I'm not really sure how that happened, but it is what it is. Tomorrow, I go to the place of imminent employment in order to complete some paperwork; it's called I-9, and… I don't really care enough to understand it. I just gotta go and fill it out and then be done with it. Then I can return home and continue trying to build.

Suppose I ought to go to bed so that my brain is not made of fuzzy soup tomorrow, too. Today's letter is short, but that's only because there's so much that I cannot write to you about in this space, for fear of accidentally delegitimizing the safety I'm trying to strive for, for you. Popular opinion in my world about you and your circumstances seems to have a non-trivial effect on the outcome of events in your world, and this is very sad, because by and large, the people of my world are not very merciful or kind towards people who make mistakes, especially if they're autistic or if they've survived abuse, or if they deviate from what is considered "the norm" in any way.

Sephiroth. Please stay safe out there. Please make kind and good choices. Please take care of yourself, and please protect yourself, your planet and the people around you. I love you and I'll write again soon.

Your friend, Lumine

[mephinomaly]

[TL] PYSCHOBREAK/Chapter 6

[ This post uses Ois~su ♪ ]

Time: That day at night

Location: In a training room in ES

Rei: Wanko~♪ Do you want the ball~?

Go fetch~ ☆

Koga 2: Ruff ruuuffffff ☆

Adonis 2: …(Fidgeting around like he wants to play too.)

Rei: Kukuku. He looks human but in reality he’s a newborn baby, such an adorable thing ♪

Kaoru: You get on surprisingly well with the fakes which is pretty good.

—But is that really a good thing, Rei-kun?

Rei: Okay, it’s Adonis-kun's turn now ♪ Why don’t you try to catch this piece of string? You can build up physical strength whilst having fun, isn’t that the best?

Adonis 2: ...♪

Kaoru: I’m happy you’re getting on but hey, are you listening? Can you not ignore me please?

Rei: Of course of course. I will never again allow my gaze to be ripped away from my beloved children who adore me.

Kaoru: Who adores who, did you say?

Rei: —I’ve been thinking.

Kaoru: Hm?

Rei: No matter how much I desire it, I can never be an omnipotent, benevolent god. I suppose that’s clear as I could not predict this situation unfolding.

However, I am slightly older than you all, and it is not as if I spent all my time overseas playing around.

I’m just a tiny bit more experienced onii-chan than you all.

Kaoru: What are you trying to say? You just want to brag about being older? Or do you hate being seen as an old hag?[1] Is this a type of power harassment?

Rei: Kukuku. It’s weird for me not to, Kaoru-kun. Well, there’s nothing I can do in this situation.

We must keep our minds as tranquil as a mountain peak. If our juniors see us seniors fumble, it will create anxiety for them.

Kaoru: Uhuh. Being a senpai is hard work.

So? What are you thinking about?

Rei: Umu. I have no evidence regarding this, all I can do is make guesses on the sequence of events that brought us into this and why it even began to start with.

I have an overall understanding of this situation.

In other words, we now know the truth behind this mysterious set of circumstances.

Kaoru: Wa～, well done! You’re an amazing detective ♪

Rei: Kaoru-kun could have guessed it as well. You are the son of a wise scholar after all.

However, you are a pragmatic child. This case is a bit of an anomaly, and contains unrealistic aspects.

Kaoru: Unrealistic, hm… Ah, I guess that describes it well.

Rei: Umu. Now the question is; how do we escape this situation?

You will understand this analogy, but we are in a locked room. There is only one exit and entrance, and a specific key is required to open them.

However, the key is hidden amongst an endless amount of objects scattered around said room.

Kaoru: It’s like a super difficult ‘escape the room’ game.

Rei: There aren’t any hints though. Unfortunately, there is not enough time to carefully examine each and every item in the room in order to find the key.

We must somehow escape, before the reality we live in warps and breaks down.

Kaoru: Since it’s you, I’m sure you’ve come up with a way to get us out of here. I say that half jokingly ♪

Rei: Umu. I must respond if someone asks something of me, as superstar Rei Sakuma-senpai.

—There is one thing I want to do.

However, it is a dangerous gamble. I am concerned that there may be burdens on the mind and body, primarily on the brain.

Kaoru: Don’t you dare say something all stand-offish like “so that's why I’ll handle it by myself.” If UNDEAD has a problem, then it’s all of our problem. We should share that burden together.

Rei: Kukuku. That’s something old Kaoru-kun would never have said. Now we have been reminded of our past selves, those words deeply move me.

Kaoru: Don’t make fun of me. So, what’s this thing you want to do?

What should we do to get out of this weird situation?

Rei: We need to dream.

When I investigated the AIIE experiment facilities the other day, I happened upon the machines we were connected to, the manuals on how to operate them, and the drugs we were prescribed.

As one could expect, the manuals contained a lot of technical lingo, but with help from a family member who is good at those sorts of things, I was able to come to grips with how it works.

Therefore, if we desire so, we can dream of those days once again.

Visit the memories of when Deadmanz disappeared, and us, UNDEAD, arose.

I suspect our answers will be there.

Kaoru: It’s embarrassing to see me back then being so uptight, but if there’s nothing else we can do, I suppose I can comply.

Rei: Kaoru-kun is still an inexperienced cute boy, hm? I am but a lump of shame.

You may be ashamed of your past self now, but in ten years you may feel the same about your current self.

Let’s do everything in our power now so we do not regret anything in the future.

Will you help me, Kaoru-kun?

Kaoru: Of course I will. I’ve said this a lot already, but this is all of our problem.

Rei: Wonderful… This is also just a guess, but I believe I am the cause behind everything.

Seeds from the past left unwatered grow out of spite. I must reap what I sow, before they can grow anymore.

So this doesn’t happen again. So that I don’t lose anyone again.

[ ☆ ]

Kaoru says 年齢マウント. Not sure if we have a word like that in english but it’s when the eldest of a group of girls (whether idols or just friendship groups) is seen as an old woman despite only being slightly older than the others

Chapter 5

Chapter 7

[vibratingskull]

"Hai, tis me again 🫡 Putting in a Thrawn x Ar'alani smut request! Thrawn returns to the Ascendancy for reals this time. When Thrawn arrives, things are way too hectic for him to find some genuine alone time with Ar'alani. The pair have some serious sexual tension that comes out when they find themselves alone in an elevator together. They're fighting for dominance over one another - sloppy and messy "I miss u" sex. Ar'alani is frustrated and angry with Thrawn, Thrawn misses Ar'alani ALOT." - @thrawnalani

First time i write for a ship. It was rather difficult but pretty fun 😊

Thrawn x Ar'alani

Tag: smut, cunni, p in v

Thrawn steps into the elevator and breathes deeply once the doors close. The Ascendancy didn't change, it worsened even. Too much political agitation, too little factual military responses. He had to meet with numerous aristocras and syndics and respond to numerous nonsensical questions, apparently they are worried about the political repercussions of his return. Apparently the Mitth Patriarch was furious when he appeared with his fleet at the Ascendancy's door. It's Roscu who found him; she welcomed him back as he expected with disdain and defiance. Some things did not change and he finds it comforting. 

He loosens up his collar, those questions really took a toll on him, he has the head ready to burst. If only they could give him just 5 minutes of peace, 5 minutes alone…

He didn't stop for a second after he arrived. He's getting old, he chuckles, his patience is getting slimmer. He stretches his neck and shoulders as he's alone in this elevator. 

Where is she now ? 

Surely on patrol somewhere… Away from him. 

He sighs, closing his eyes. 

He would have loved to see a glimpse of her face, a smile in his direction, the hand of a friend extended to him.

That would suffice for his happiness. 

Just a touch. His finger grazing her hand. That would surely suffice. 

The elevator stops to welcome someone else, he opens his eyes and he straightens his stature. He takes a step on the side to let them enter. 

The doors open. 

And the air is punched out of his lungs. 

Her eyes widen for a demi second before the mask of imperturbability is back on both of their faces. 

It is her. 

In all her glory.

She comes and places herself next to him, without a single glance.

- Grand Admiral Thrawn, she politely salutes with distance in the tone.

- Admiral Ar’alani, he tilts his head.

He remains calm, but inside his heart is racing.

- Not anymore, I am now a Fleet Admiral. I took after Supreme General Ba'kif work.

- I have not been made aware of that. My congratulations.

She tuts without responding. The elevator resumes its ascension in the stone building. 

They remain silent, without exchanging glances, but her scent comes and invades his nose, he inhales the fragrance deeply, welcoming it far into his lungs, a mix of honey, wild flowers and chemicals. It makes his mouth water. He licks his teeth to gather self control. He does not turn his head to her, preferring to admire her through the mirror in his peripheral vision. She's getting older too, little wrinkles come adorn her eyes and the corner of her mouth, gray and white strands of hair at her temples. She’s never been more beautiful to him.

-You collar is loose, she says out of the blue without looking at him.

- Yes, I needed to be a bit less constricted for five little minutes.

-It’s unprofessional, remedy it now, she orders.

-Yes, Fleet Admiral.

He ties his collar again. He do no let it appears on his face but he’s smiling internally, even though he regrets her cold tone he always admired her way of giving order, even to him. Her imposing presence, her hard stare...What a women.

-You’ve created a certain commotion by coming back, she finally lets out, her head fixed straight on the door.

- It appears so, even though I do not understand the political ramification of my return.

His breath shortens as his heart race quickens. It feels like he’s going crazy. After so long, she gave him the cold shoulder and deprives him of her beautiful gaze. This is unfair! He abandoned everything for her and the Ascendancy, he left everything behind to come back stronger than ever to bring help to his people. And she won’t even grace him with a smile? Might as well stab him in the heart, it would be less painful.

She lets out a snarky snarl.

- Of course you do not. You didn’t back then and you won’t now.

- Maybe you could teach me? He tries an approach turning his head to her to be welcomed by her unmoving profile. He's never been too good at this game but it won’t prevent him from trying. For her he would try anything. He keeps an eye on the elevator’s indicator, soon they would reach the floor and be separated again… In those conditions? Without a smile ? Without staring longingly in her gorgeous eyes? Without grazing her hand once ? 

He cannot let that happen. He spent all those years thinking about her, the only thing keeping him sane in this Empire of vipers.

- Right now? We do not have the time. And I doubt to be able to teach anything to an old blinkered person like you.

Then…

Something switches in his head.

He silently and oh so calmly turns towards the control panel, opens it, and very simply tears the wires. The elevator stops instantly in a jolt, plunged into darkness, only a small emergency light bulb lightning crudely the metal box.

-Grand Admiral Thrawn! She shouts indignant, finally looking at him.

He fully turns towards her.

-Now listen, Fleet Admiral, I had some very rough years and a notably rough day. I am in no mood to take this unfair beating: I have been sent to find allies for the Ascendancy, and came back with a full fleet. I succeeded in my mission. Now I do not want the honor of the victor nor any medals. The only thing I ask for is the warmth of a friend, a welcoming smile or friendly salutations, of which I have received none and especially coming from you this is particularly cruel. Now we can remedy it or never speak again.

He can’t believe what he just said, it was totally unprompted and involuntary. He would never cut their bound and renounce her friendship, but something in her demeanor made him snap. 

They look into each other's eyes in silence for a whole minute when she finally raises an eyebrow, looking at him like a curious insect. He fully braces for the storm coming, she has every right to be beside herself.

- You’ve changed, Mitth’raw’nuruodo. You used to have more patience, she states calmly.

-It has been ten years, Ar’alani. People change, I am not immune to it.

She holds his gaze before finally lowering her eyes and sighs.

-You’re right, it’s been ten years… Ten years of tumult, ten years of uncertainty, ten years of hope of you coming back against all odds. Ten years without any news, any signs of life…

He presses his lips in a thin line, feeling a bit gauche now.

- And I am truly sorry for that, he assures, it was due to parameters out of my control.

 -I know… 

Her voice is so weary suddenly, like years of stress coming crushing down upon her suddenly. 

- But you don’t know what I feared happened to you…

He gently takes her hands and squeezes them.

- But I am here now, I have returned.

- Things have changed. The Ascendancy is in great peril, eating itself from within. You might have returned home to lose it definitively.

- This defeatism is not like you.

She giggles tiredly.

- Maybe I’ve changed too.

He holds her face, forcing her to look at him.

- Whatever might happen, we will face it together.

And without thinking of consequences, he puts his lips against hers delicately, annihilating more than thirty years of friendship in one simple gesture…  It is so soft, softer than what he ever imagined with a sugary taste. She doesn’t respond, neither inviting him or pushing him back. He slowly parts, searching her gaze, holding his breath, waiting to discover if he just made the biggest error of his life…

She gasps lightly, and seizes his head with force, pressing their mouth together. His heart skips a beat, but he welcomes it. He deepens the kiss, caressing the back of her head, the low of her back, pressing their body together like they could fuse as one. He pushes her against the wall, squeezing her harder in his arms while making out. She’s disheveling him, clawing his back through the fabric, pushing her tongue in his mouth, hugging his tongue, moaning in the kiss.

Oh this is such sweet music to his ears, angels could not sing softer.

Finally…

A hunger of thirty years will be satiated tonight.

And he’s ravenous.

She looks as starving as him, which makes his heart fluster. It is so satisfying to know you please the other person as much as she pleases you. He tastes blood and realizes she’s biting his lower lips. He growls in response. 

She moves away, tearing him apart, but it is to open his tidy uniform. She hurries in her movement, a bit clumsily with such haste. He resists the temptation to just tear the fabric of both of their uniforms and instead choose to help her. He quickly ends up in his black tank top that he discards as quickly. She also opens her jacket while he kneels down to open her white pants, he pulls them down with her undergarment and caresses his way up her legs. He grazes her inner thighs and looks up at her, panting and with messy hair, he sees her chest moving up and down as she breathes. Without breaking eye contact he approaches his head to her vulva and gives a long, wet lick at her slit. She closes her shiny eyes and throws her head backward, so he does it again, teasing her entrance, slips up his tongue between her pussylips, his nose buried in her pubes. He inhales the musk deeply. He laps at her cunt with the flat of the tongue, sucking and flicking his tongue at her clit, he does it conscientiously, thoroughly, like his savoring a rare dish. She gasps and whines, holding his head, pressing it further against her wet, slick sex. He thought he could die happy suffocated between her legs. He tonguefucks her until a tremor shakes her and she comes in his mouth with a moan. He drinks it all like a thirsty man. He licks his lips with a satisfied grin, looking at her purple and panting face, a drop of sweat at her temple. He kisses her public mount and rises on his feet, unbuckling his pants. She slips her hand in his boxer to feel and stroke his length, appreciating the circumference of his girth. He sighs with pleasure at the delicious sensation, he kisses her cheeks and she bites his ear.

-Hurry, she breathes.

He pulls down his boxer, freeing his hardening dick, he gives it a few rough strokes and presses the tip at her cunt, coating it as he trails her pussylips, nudging her hole with his tip. She bites her lower lips, her hands at the back of his neck. He kisses the tip of her nose and aligns himself with her, he slowly enters her, moaning as her tightness strangles his veiny shaft, he pushes and buries himself to the hilt. She jumps and circles his waist with her legs as he carries her his hand under her thighs. Taking support on the wall he starts rutting inside her, thrusting his hips sloppily, they mewl in unisson, making out again. He feels his cock get swallowed by her wet warmth, she grips him as he stuffs her full and she’s not embarrassed to let her pleasure be known by the most obscene noises. It only fires him up more, giving him even more energy and vigor. He rolls his hips languorously, as she bounces on his cock, he languidly plunges into her soft flesh, feeling her spasms and contracts around his length.

-I missed you, she mewls

It makes his heart beat faster and heat up his cheek even more.

-Me too, my love, me too.

They kiss languorously, until his thrust becomes erratic. He’s close, he knows it.

-Stay with me, she grunts.

- I will.

He feels all his lower body tensing up, but when he tries to remove himself she locks him between her legs until he finishes inside her. His orgasm his mind shattering, pushing air out his lungs. She clenches around his cock when she cums and he put her down, legs trembling, short breath and glossy eyes. He rests his forehead against hers, catching his breath, he brushes her hair out of her face. She holds his hand and rests her cheek in it. They remain silent, smiling, grazing their nose tips, savoring this quiet moment before getting back to real life.

-We must get back, she sighs

-I know, but he doesn’t stop pampering kisses on her face.

-Thrawn, I’m serious. We got work to do.

-I know… This time he’s the one sighing

She smiles contritely and pecks his lips.

-Come to my place tonight? I will let the door open for you.

-I am afraid I will finish late, he reluctantly admits.

-It is okay. I waited for you for ten years, I can wait a little longer…

@bluechiss @thrawnalani @justanothersadperson93 @al-astakbar

@thrawnspetgoose @readinglistfics @elise2174 @debonaire-princess @twilekchiss @pencil-urchin @ineedazeezee @mssbridgerton