#i am well aware of this and yet I still treat it like it’s ‘entertainment’ and not the virus’ ultimate evil plan

[skittlewaffle]

All these tags made me believe that this was gonna be the one, ONE AU where sun and moon have no trauma. You craft your words in such delicate ways to make them truthful you are like the fey.

In all honesty though I still really like the AU. that was a super cool twist that I didn't see coming!

OUHH IM SO GLAD !!!! And yes, I think Sun and Moon deserve at least one world where they can always be truly happy 🥺 without a force of evil in the show, I think the virus is the only entity capable of such a position that can provide any true angst at all, though that wouldn’t happen because it’s not like i’m actively running this idea by the fnaf devs and pushing it for a green light by animation industries HDKCJSHD

[cuubism]

I tried to be creative for a hurt/comfort thing but you know what, I'm a very predictable creature of habit who likes what I like lol

A go-to headcanon of mine for canon or human au is that Hob's love language is providing food just as like, a caretaking thing. But of course Dream interprets it as Hob thinking he's ugly for being so skinny. 🥺

🤘five-and-dimes

@five-and-dimes this slots in well with math au so it had to be math au ☺️

--

"Dream?"

Dream doesn't realize he's drifted off mentally until Hob calls his name. It's possible he's called it more than once and Dream didn't hear. It must be some special level of dysfunction to be able to get so distracted during sex. All week he has thought about Hob, watched the play of his hands on his keyboard and wished they were on his skin, watched the flex of his arms as he ties his hair back, studied his mouth as he chewed on the end of a pen. Now he is here, and yet he's not. Here.

"Are you alright?" Hob continues when Dream just kind of keeps staring at him. "You're like. Not with me at all. I don't know where you are."

Dream doesn't know where Dream is either. Technically he is lying in bed with Hob kneeling between his thighs, and they haven't even gotten fully undressed yet. Hob's hands are still resting lightly on his hips, thumbs hooked under the waistband of his jeans. Dream is suddenly aware of just how sharp his hipbones are when he lies like that, the jut of bone visible through his skin.

He pushes himself up to sitting, dislodging Hob's hands. "I am fine."

"Sure," Hob says, not wholly convinced. "Long day I guess?"

Dream hums noncommittally.

"Want to watch a movie instead?"

"Yes," Dream says, though still distracted, "very well."

Hob moves away to grab his shirt, and Dream watches the flex of his shoulders, the strength of his back and bend of his neck. And he wants, and for a moment he considers saying, no, come back, I want-- but when Hob turns back to him it dies in his throat.

He puts on his own shirt, and Hob pulls him close, lets him settle between his legs, his back to Hob's chest, as he takes his laptop from the nightstand. "I heard about this one, supposed to be using maths to solve time travel. Figured we could watch and you could tell me all the ways they're wrong and stupid."

Hob knows him too well. "You have no confidence that the maths could be correct?" he says.

"Do you?"

"...No," Dream admits, and Hob laughs.

"It'd be no fun if it was right, anyway. Your commentary makes it way more entertaining."

Dream leans back in his arms as Hob boots up the movie, and then it feels easy again, comfortable again, as they fall back into their familiar pattern.

He doesn't know what was wrong with him before.

--

Dream likes to steal Hob's sweatshirts. He runs cold, but often forgets to bring extra layers with him when he goes places. Or perhaps he is intentionally forgetting to bring his own, so he can steal Hob's. Hob never seems to mind, after all.

And Hob's clothes are not so different in size to his own, they are almost the same height. Hob has broader shoulders than he does, but Dream never feels like he is swimming in Hob's clothes.

Except for now.

He's studying the way the sleeves of Hob's sweatshirt lie on his wrists, comparing it to the way they had looked on Hob's wrists when he had worn the same sweatshirt just this morning, before Dream had stolen it. Have his wrists always been this narrow? The jut of the ulna so sharp where the hem of the sleeve hangs? Has he always looked this bony, when contrasted with soft fabric?

"Hey, love, you hungry? I made you something."

Hob is standing before him, holding a bowl. He places it down on the table before Dream.

"Made me something?" Dream echoes.

"Dinner," Hob says. "You didn't eat anything today."

Did he? Perhaps not. He often doesn't, at least not until Hob reminds him. Which he often does.

"It's green curry," Hob says, pushing the bowl closer to him as if trying to tempt him to take a treat. "One of your favorites?"

Dream does not know if he is really hungry, but Hob is a good cook and besides, it will make him happy if Dream eats it, so he takes it.

Seeming satisfied, Hob gets his own bowl and sits down across from him, tucking in as Dream starts delicately picking at pieces of green bean and pepper, small spoonfuls of rice soaked in curry. It is, in fact, very good. He is just. Out of sorts, perhaps.

But he eats it, slowly, because he knows Hob will be happy. Hob is always happy when he manages to feed him. Perhaps Dream truly doesn't eat enough. Perhaps he is getting too bony.

He tries not to study his wrists as he holds the spoon.

--

Dream is... not having a good day. He doesn't fully know why. He often doesn't. Regardless, he's lying in bed, music blaring in his headphones, staring blankly at the wall, when Hob gets back from class in the evening.

He doesn't realize it's time for Hob to come back until Hob is creaking open the bedroom door, letting a sliver of light into the cocoon Dream's created. He says something, which Dream doesn't hear on account of the music he's blasting at maximum volume.

He takes out his earbuds as Hob repeats it. "Hey, love. You want some tea? A snack?"

Dream lifts his head to find that Hob's set down a cup of tea and a piece of toast with what looks like almond butter and honey on the nightstand.

"It's seven p.m.," Hob continues. Dream hadn't realized it was so late. He doesn't remember exactly when he laid down. "Have you eaten?"

He's sure Hob already knows the answer to that.

Dream sits up and takes the toast, as bidden. And then just. Stares at it.

Hob lays the back of his hand against Dream's forehead. "Are you feeling alright?"

"I don't know," Dream says. But he is not sick in the way that Hob means. He sets the toast back down and takes the tea instead, sipping it slowly.

"You don't feel warm." Hob lets his hand fall. "Should eat the toast, if you can. Do you want company, or should I leave you be?"

Dream swallows hard to clear the lump in his throat. Hob is... so tolerant of his oddities. "Company. If you can tolerate my silence."

"I can cope." Hob fetches his things, and soon enough he's sitting beside Dream in bed, laptop open. Dream leans against his shoulder. Hob's body is soft enough to be comfortable to lie against, while Dream's shoulder is... sharp. When Hob lies against him, are all of Dream's bones just jutting into him?

He sits up again, picks up the toast. If he ate enough almond butter toast he might not be so sharp-edged. But eating an amount of toast that hits even a baseline caloric requirement is already hard enough.

He eats it slowly and tries to pretend it doesn't stick on the way down.

--

When they were teenagers, Desire used to make fun of Dream for being too skinny. "It's all in the name of love," they'd sing, "just don't want you to end up alone, that's all." Then they'd poke him in the ribs--"You're so bony"--and start giggling.

It didn't help that Dream had jumped ahead two levels in school, and already felt gangly and awkward in comparison to everyone else in his year, who were invariably older. As years passed, he grew out of those awkward teenage proportions, but never lost his thin, angular frame.

Hob, for his part, still has a bit of youthful ranginess to him, but Dream thinks he will fill out wonderfully as he gets older. He does not know what will happen to himself.

What he does know is that Hob keeps trying to feed him.

He'll make breakfast for him, if he stays over. Even if Hob himself needs to run out the door to class with nothing more than a granola bar, he somehow manages to make sure there is something for Dream. He's always making Dream's favorite foods for dinner, more often than not foods Dream barely remembers ever mentioning. He brings him tea in a thermos when Dream is up late working in his favorite classroom.

Dream does not know what to do with this. He is finding it harder and harder to eat what Hob makes. He doesn't know what's wrong with him.

When he gets home from class, he finds that Hob is gone, but he's left an entire container of muffins on Dream's kitchen counter. Zucchini muffins!! the note taped to the lid reads. Very tasty and nutritious too!! ❤️

Dream stares at them for a long time, a lump in his throat. Then he closes the lid, carefully latches it so they won't go stale, and retreats to his bedroom.

--

Dream is straddling Hob's lap and he should be enjoying himself but he cannot. Stop. Thinking.

About how sharp his knees and ankles look. How Hob can definitely feel his ribs where his hands are laid on Dream's waist. About the deep cut of his collarbone, made more evident by the way he's wrapping his arms around Hob's shoulders as they kiss. Does Hob think about it? Does he look at Dream and wish there was softness to touch, instead of these hard edges?

"Dream," Hob says, still close enough that Dream feels his breath as he pulls away from the kiss. "Where are you, love? Because it's not with me."

It all feels so obvious when Dream thinks about it now. He got used to not thinking about his own body but it's impossible to ignore when he's pressed up against Hob, when he's only in his underwear. Hob has seen him, and touched him, and is always trying to feed him, and he would never say anything because he isn't mean but it must bother him, that Dream is so, is so--

"Do you think I am wrong?" he asks.

Hob just stares at him, thrown. "What?" he asks. "Wrong about what?"

"Wrong," Dream repeats. And suddenly he can't stand to be exposed like he is, and disentangles himself from Hob, reaching for the nearest article of clothing--which ends up being Hob's sweatshirt, the one he likes to steal. And so he ends up just holding it to his chest instead of putting it on, frozen.

Hob reaches for him, then lets his hands fall. "I don't understand."

"You want me to eat more," Dream says.

"I-- yeah? You barely eat one meal a day, of course I want you to eat more?"

Dream nods to himself, clutching Hob's sweatshirt closer. It all makes sense now. He doesn't know why he didn't understand it earlier. Or perhaps he did, subconsciously.

The wave of sadness that catches him under his lungs is more powerful than he anticipated. But at least now he understands.

"I don't know what conclusion you're making, but somehow I don't think it's right," Hob says. He reaches for Dream again, and this time wraps his hand around his wrist, slides down over the bones there until their fingers are tangled together. Their knuckles lock, bone to bone.

"I am hideous to you," he says, braced by Hob's touch enough to voice it.

"What?" Dream expects Hob to move away, but he doesn't, though he does sound... hurt. "How could you think that?"

"You think I should eat more," Dream says. Even as he says it, he feels himself curl inwards again, though it only makes the angles of his limbs more prominent.

"Yeah because you can't survive on one piece of toast every two days? I don't want you to starve yourself?" Hob sounds increasingly desperate as he says it. "Honestly you've been freaking me out, I feel like even when I make stuff you like you want to eat it even less."

"I... like what you make," Dream says quietly. He slowly thinks through what Hob's said. "I thought that... you felt I was too skinny. That you would be more attracted to me if I was not so... bony. And sharp."

He is very sharp-edged all around. And Hob already tolerates the sharp edges of his personality.

"Dream." Now Hob takes both of his hands. "Don't you know I was so attracted to you the moment I saw you? I wanted you so bad. And your attention. Your interest." He plays with Dream's fingers. "Look how beautiful your hands are." He cups Dream's face in his hand. "Your jawline is literally to die for. Modeling agencies would sign you."

Dream makes an expression of distaste at the thought, and Hob laughs.

"I know, you'd hate that." He kisses the tip of Dream's nose. "But the point stands. You're gorgeous." He runs his hand through Dream's hair, making it stick up all over the place. And the way Hob looks at him then makes any objection die in Dream's throat, makes him want to crawl into Hob's lap and press against Hob's body and let Hob do anything to him. "I mean, look at you."

A blush rises to Dream's cheeks. "So. You do not want me to eat so that I will gain weight."

"I want you to eat so you don't fucking die," Hob says, and something about the dramatic phrasing of it makes Dream laugh, and then Hob laughs, too, and pulls him close, pressing Dream's head into his shoulder.

"I am like a recalcitrant pet to you, then," Dream says, and Hob chuckles.

"Too right. You can lead a Dream to avocado toast..."

Perhaps... Dream might be better at being led. Now that he knows why Hob is doing the leading.

“I love you,” Hob says, kissing Dream’s temple. “And your ridiculous cheekbones, you angelic creature. You’re so incredibly beautiful.”

Dream’s blush only deepens, and he hides his face in Hob’s shoulder. Hob rubs a hand up and down his bare back, catching on the knobs of his spine. He holds Dream close until Dream’s embarrassment subsides and he feels able to lift his head again.

When their eyes meet again, Hob just smiles. “Can I show you?” He traces his thumb over Dream’s lower lip. “How much I want you?”

Dream nods, tongue dabbing at Hob's thumb. Yes, he wants. He wants Hob. And he wants Hob to want him, desperately he wants it, for Hob to think he is desirable, no matter how embarrassing it may be to feel that want.

Hob kisses him again, pulling him close so Dream is half in his lap, tangled up in him again. Dream chases his mouth. And each touch of Hob's hands over the hard bend of his hips or the sharp wings of his shoulder blades, just as passionate and determined as Dream could have ever hoped for, makes him feel better, until he's not thinking about the shape of himself at all, just the feeling of Hob's touch, and his own pleasure.

And, maybe, the tea Hob might make for him afterward.

[catcze]

hay it's me the strip poker kazuha anon but i am now a weak mess for neuvillette. you did an awesome job when you wrote about whether wrio would initiate things etc in a relationship - what are your thoughts for mr neuvillette? 👀👀👀

?!?!?!?!?!??! YO ?!??!! STRIP POKER KAZUHA ANON HELLO OH MY GOD ?! you're still here ?!?!? AAAAA HI HI HI I MISSED YOU ?!?! THANK YOU FOR STILL BEING AROUND ?!?!?!

Reblogs are greatly appreciated !!

Frankly speaking, I don't think Neuvillette would be one to initiate a relationship with you, but he will lay it on pretty heavily that he's into you, and will wait for you to figure things out on your own.

Noovy is an absolute sweetheart, and if he's into you, he only becomes more of a sweetheart. He begins bringing you small gifts that he thinks you'll like: a simple necklace he thought suits you. A flower that he saw on the way to the Palais Mermonia. Even small snacks from food vendors that he passes by that he thinks suit your tastes— he never misses an opportunity to get you some gifts.

He begins to dote on you more and more as time goes by. He's careful in his concerns, making sure that it's clear that they come from a place of sincerity rather than with ulterior motives.

"Have you eaten yet?" Neuvillette asks, receiving the papers from your outstretched hand. He's careful to keep his tone neutral, but the furrow in his brows betrays some of his concern. "Oh, no I haven't yet," you tell him, shifting on your feet. "There were some documents that came right during my lunch break, and I wasn't feeling hungry yet so I volunteered to go through them so that Sedene and the others could have their break." Neuvillette blinks at you, staring for just a second, then he's placing his pen down and rising to his feet. You scramble to attention as he rounds the desk, a smile on his face. "Well, we can't have you working on an empty stomach, can we? Come, I'll treat you somewhere. If that's alright with you, of course."

At some point, practically everyone knows that the Iudex of Fontaine is doing his best to court you.

The melusines are some of the first to know, easily picking up on the subtle flush on Neuvillette's face whenever you talk to him or when your fingers so much as brush. They giggle whenever they see you two together, but are still careful to make sure you don't see them. Monsieur Neuvillette wouldn't want them to ruin the surprise now, would he? The citizens of Fontaine are aware of how you've got Neuvillette wrapped around your finger. After all, he's seen most often with you whenever he wanders the city, and it's hard to miss the fond glances he shoots your way, or how he always vehemently insists on covering the bill whenever you both eat out. Once even going so far as to pluck the mora right out of your hand so you couldn't pay! Even Wriothesley, of all people, who lives in a fortress at the bottom of the ocean hears the news that Neuvillette has been courting someone. He comes up to the Palais Mermonia the very same weekend that he hears the news, all just to see Neuvillette practically melt the second you step into the room. Wriothesley grins the entire time like he's watching a particularly entertaining performance, and Neuvillette has never wanted to kick him out of his office more.

[bibbityboppitybillyharvgrove]

The New Day - S.Rogers

Summary - Steve has few fears but one of them is love, it’s one of the fears he’s never faced. It takes a song about love to make him understand that love is a need and nobody is greedy for wanting love.

Word Count- 884

Author’s Note - Day 16! It’s a bit late again, sorry about that, it’s been a busy day and I’ve been exhausted. It’s another Greta song fic! If you’ve never listened to it, I highly recommend you do, it’s such a beautiful song with fantastic lyrics. I hope you enjoy!

Warnings - Use of Y/N, female reader, not proofread, kissing

my masterlist

25 days of fics masterlist

Feedback is welcomed and encouraged!

Enjoy!

not my gif

not my gif

Steve Rogers was a man who wouldn’t admit to fears, he was a man that would face these fears head on. However, there was one fear he had, one that he had yet to face head on and that fear was love. He had loved before, his last love being Peggy Carter before he was frozen in time. Since waking up in 2011, he had refused to entertain dating with the fear of potentially falling in love and hurting the person he loved as he had hurt Peggy.

That had all changed after a team holiday movie night, he had been sitting beside a long-time friend and teammate, Y/N. She was the first person to treat him like he was just another guy, not Captain America, not a super soldier, just Steve from Brooklyn. They had formed a connection almost immediately, Steve knew he had feelings but he suppressed them as much as possible. She was well aware of his fear of love and she was more than willing to wait for him. 

The rest of the team had gone off to bed after the last holiday movie had ended, it was just Steve and Y/N sitting on the couch as the credits rolled. She had decided it was a perfect time to show him some new music. “You remember me showing you that band I really like? Greta Van Fleet?” She asked him.

“That’s the one with the short singer, right? Didn’t I go with you to one of their concerts?” Steve replied.

“Yes! Here’s one I haven’t shown you yet, it’s about love, how it’s a need and not something to fear or feel guilty about. It’s one of my favorites,” She rambled on before pulling it up on the TV to start the song. As the song started, he listened to her singing along more than he did to the song itself and watched as she danced around the room. She held out her hands to him, he grabbed her hands, standing up and danced along with her.

Love isn’t greed it’s a need that goes unspoken/Love doesn't leave when you fade away/Pain isn't vain if it means your heart's been broken/Pain is the same as a means to heal

As the song came to an end, the two stopped their dancing and just stood in the middle of the room, hands still linked together. “What do you think? Did you like it?” She asked, a smile gracing her face.

“It was a beautiful song. I can see why it’s one of your favorites,” Steve replied genuinely. He watched as her smile widened causing his own smile to spread over his lips. 

“It reminds me of you, that’s why I wanted to show you the song.”

“Why does it remind you of me?”

“Because I know that you have a fear of loving someone and then hurting them unintentionally. But love is something everyone needs, it’s a basic need humans have and although you are superhuman, you are still a human. Just because you hurt Peggy unintentionally all those years ago doesn’t mean that it’ll happen again,” She explained to him, bringing a tear to Steve’s eye.

“It’s scary to love someone so deeply when I know they could get hurt or they can get a target put on their back because of who I am. I’m scared to admit that I love someone because I don’t want to see them hurt,” Steve told her, the tear falling down his cheek. She reached her hand up and gently wiped the tear away.

“It’s okay to be scared, Steve. You are only human and humans have fears. Tell me about this person you love, what makes you love them so much?”

“She’s wonderful, absolutely wonderful. She never sees me as Captain America, only Steve Rogers from Brooklyn. I can tell her anything without any judgment and she helps me understand things that used to confuse the crap out of me. She shows me songs about love and tells me they remind her of me. She told me that love is a basic human need and that it’s okay to be scared.”

“Steve-”

“It’s you that I love, Y/N. I’ve just been too scared to say something because I didn’t want you to get hurt or risk the potential of you getting hurt. You mean so much to me and the last thing I want to happen is-”

He was cut off by her lips meeting his, effectively shutting him up. He was quick to react, his hands cupping her cheeks and his lips moving in sync with hers. She had wrapped her arms around his neck, urging him to move his body closer, so he moved his hands down to rest on her lower back, pulling her body into his. Steve could’ve kept going all day but Y/N needed air so she reluctantly pulled away, panting as she rested her forehead against his. 

“I love you too, Steve. I wanted to jump in but you just kept talking so I kissed you. Was that too much?” She asked him breathlessly.

“It wasn’t too much. Shut me up like that more often, yeah?” He replied, causing her to let out a chuckle.

“You got it Cap.”

[lcnelyghost]

Can you do the Evan’s dating a plus size girl? 🤭🫶🏻❤️

all that you are//the evan’s

pairings; fem reader with tate langdon, kit walker, kyle spencer, jimmy darling, and james patrick march

rating; pg13!

warnings; slight harsh language, body shaming, bullying

a/n: sorry to everyone that might not like what i’m gonna say, but i only write for the evan’s until they go up to season five with james. yes, i have watched the other seasons. i LOVE gallant and edward mott, but i won’t be pairing them with a female reader for obvious reasons. rory and jeff didn’t satisfy me all that much, and i still have mixed feelings on kai. yeah, i also like austin, but i don’t really know if i have that special little connection to his character yet. and no, am i fuck gonna write for jeffrey. that’s something that i’ll never feel comfortable doing.

Tate Langdon;

• Tate couldn’t give a shit about how you looked, he loved you for how you truly were. From the way you treated him, he already knew that you had a heart of gold.

• He loves how you guys have the exact same style. You enjoy wearing baggy sweaters and jeans, much like himself. And he adores how confident you are when it came to wearing what you wanted.

• If any school girls even dared to make fun of you, well.. i’m pretty sure we know what would happen..

Kit Walker;

• If Kit falls in love with someone, it’s not for the breathtaking looks they’ve been blessed with. No. It’s simply for the fact that they have such a kind heart and a beautiful soul. That’s what Kit is truly attracted to.

• He admires every last bit of you. Size isn’t important to him, not at all.

• Kit fell for you, because you’re just you. You’re not hiding behind some mask or going around with a full face of makeup, nor trying to fit in with everyone, you’re you. And that’s certainly enough for him to love and cherish.

Kyle Spencer/Franken Kyle;

• Truth be told, the little soul can’t even tell the difference between you and other girls. Right enough, not that he would even care in the slightest.

• He gets really upset when he overhears Madison saying her usual shitty comments about you. Though that soon turns into a fit of laughter when Queenie punishes her for it.

• Kyle doesn’t have the kind of feeling to care enough when it comes to you’re size. You treat him in a way he’s always wanted to be treated, and he doesn’t need anything more than that.

Jimmy Darling;

• Uh, I think we’re aware that Jimmy couldn’t give a shit if you were big or not. We’ve seen enough to prove that, trust me..

• Most of the freaks respect you and treat you no differently from the others, Jimmy makes sure it stays like that.

• If Elsa even has the nerve to ask if you could be part of the show seeing as she thought you’re figure could be quite the ‘entertainment’ for some people, Jimmy would hit breaking point.

James Patrick March;

• James isn’t one for body shaming. His mother raised him to always respect a woman, and that her size shouldn’t matter to him. If she treats him right, then by all means he should show her the love and respect she deserves.

• He isn’t fussed about you’re weight. Mr March still buys you the best of the best. Including the fanciest clothes, jewellery, perfume, everything he’d buy for the woman he loves most!

• When the time comes around for his monthly dinner with the Countess, he’s sure to fire back at her sneaky, vulgar comments. Even Miss Evers will defend you as much as she can.

“And should we be expecting you’re new partner, James? I suppose the word ‘little’ isn’t a way to describe her.”

“You mean my loyal, new partner? Ah, yes. And I suppose that word isn’t something that we should mention when you’re the topic of conversation, hm?”

Yeah, he ain’t up for her bullshit today folks.

[yourstrulyksm]

ALL OF THE GIRLS YOU LOVED BEFORE. | ksm.

➨ pairing: kim seungmin x SHS!reader.

➨ note: not proofread, highschool x forbidden love trope.

➨ word count: 7.5k

Seungmin was known as the biggest asshole among the juniors and seniors in highschool. No one knew what he was up to, breaking all these girls’ hearts and all.

so I wondered, how did I manage to make him treat me like this?

I walked around campus for a little while as classes have not started yet. I still had two hours before studying and had absolutely nothing to do, so here I was, walking around, kicking dried leaves that fell from trees.

i stopped in front of a big tree, this was my signature place.

I sat on the bench that was under the tree and took a book out to do something to entertain me. As much as I wanted to take my phone out and chat with people, I had no one to chat with — which left me no choice but to read.

It's not like I was reading something educational; I was reading fiction.

this school year had been tough for me, my class rank went down from first to fifth, I stopped being a people pleaser which made my friends progressively leave me, Day by day.

It’s fine, it's the last year of senior year anyway.

But other than that, I was focused on one person, and that was none other than Kim Seungmin.

me and seungmin was never fond of each other, we were always fighting since we met each other and this year, he bullied me so much to the point where I lost the energy to even do anything back.

it’s not because I was offended or affected by the things he did or said, it was just because I realized that I would benefit nothing from fighting all day with him — about absolutely nothing.

I never understood why he hated me, he would often try to trip me where there were a lot of people around, hide my things for laughs, make rumours about me, and more.

I don't even care anymore, but him and his friends’ bullying doesn't seem to stop.

to be honest, when he didn't use to bully me as much, half of me enjoyed arguing with him. I was enjoying it because he didn't do physical things, but now he had just gotten worse, worse than I ever imagined.

I don't even remember the first time we started fighting and why. all I knew was that he hated me and that was not gonna die down soon.

speaking of the devil, “hey loser,” A familiar light brown haired boy stood in front on me with a couple of his friends trailing him behind.

“What do you want, seungmin?” I blurted out, my voice having an annoyed tone to it.

“we’re not even halfway through the school year and you're already stressed, it's only march.” he mocked me, making me look up to see that nasty smirk he had.

“I did not ask that... I asked you about what you wanted?” I raised my eyebrow at him, completely ignoring what he had said earlier.

“Nothing much really, How are you doing y/n?”

I knew for a fact that he wasn’t actually asking me if I was okay, I knew that he would try to pull some sick joke that would ‘offend me’

“Better than fine seungmin, how about you?” I played along his little games, I honestly am itching to know what he actually wants.

“Doing better than you, as always.” Whatever, I’m aware that he has an answer for everything, why did I even bother to respond to him.

“Well thank you for your time, you can go on with your day now.” I smiled warmly at him. it was fake but I couldn't think of a better idea of shooing him away.

He walked away, murmuring something to his friends and laughing about it which I certainly knew was about me.

I continued to listen to music and read my book at peace when seungmin left, I know I should've just ignored him but he wouldn't leave me alone unless he completely ruins my day, but to his dismay, I just don't care anymore.

Half of me wished that we were in a book; where in the end we’re either going to end up as friends or lovers. It might be weird, but I would do anything for him to stop bullying me,

even if it was being his lover.

I would basically be delusional if I said that was possible, so I shrugged off the thought.

After almost an hour of reading, I realized that I ran out of coffee. I was too focused on what I was reading that I forgot I had classes in only thirty minutes from now.

I took all of my things and went outside of campus to buy coffee from my favorite coffee shop.

Time passed by and I already had my order and was ready to leave when seungmin walked inside the café.

weird, I never knew he went here.

he and his friends laughed at me again for an unknown reason while I did my thing and completely ignored them.

there was one thing I did whenever I saw seungmin in public; it was to ignore him completely like I've never met him before.

I was afraid that he’ll embarrass me in front of people that wasn't from our university. Being humiliated in front of people from uni was already horrible and being humiliated from strangers didn't make a difference, just worse.

I tried my best to ignore him, but I don't think he was gonna let me go back inside campus without embarrassing me in front of everybody.

I was cautious around my surroundings, I knew any time now he would be sticking his foot out to trip me, so I was looking carefully everywhere.

I was able to leave the shop without getting terrorized by no other than seungmin. It was honestly a surprise and achievement to escape his terrorizing and I was here for it.

I finally calmed down and reached my campus, continuing to enter and go straight to first period.

I wasn't too late to class and not that much people were there, and gladly my favorite seat wasn’t taken by anyone yet.

I sat by the window and put my things down under my desk, I pulled out my textbook to review some topics as we had a pop quiz today.

I wasn’t stressing out as much because I was actually able to focus yesterday unlike the past few days before yesterday and I completely understood the topic.

I always enjoyed first period and the rest of my classes before lunch because well, me and seungmin didn't have the same schedule which is a relief.

But still, we had the same classes from fifth to ninth period which was hell for me, I’m so tired of crumbled paper and paper planes being constantly threw at me.

usually, those paper planes and crumpled paper will have something written in in; I always fail to not read them because of curiosity as there's something different written in it every single time.

I ignored my thoughts and continued studying until the teacher came.

Time passed by fast as the class finally ended with the school alarms lowly blaring. I breathed the sigh of relief as I stretched out my arms and back from staying still for too long.

right before I went out, I put my headphones in, not wanting to interact with anyone i see; especially that guy.

While walking to my next period, I passed by seungmin who was clueless of my presence — thankfully.

he looked troubled while he was looking for the things inside his backpack. Was it karma?

I ignored it and continued walking towards my class, and to my dismay, seungmin ran back and ‘accidentally’ pushed me.

I fell to the ground as he looked back at me, staring down, probably contemplating if he should help me or not.

To my surprise, he started picking up the books that fell from my hands and gave them back to me. He muttered a little ‘I’m sorry’ and ran back to where he was before, probably still looking for the missing object.

I stood still, I was speechless since this was the first ever time that he did something like this.

Earlier morning, he was just mocking me and probably talking bad about me with his friends and now he's helping me pick up my things?

Why should I even think too much about it, It was his fault anyway, he accidentally pushed me, he's REQUIRED to help me.

it just feels so impossible and unreal for him to do something like that...

I once again shrugged it off and continued walking to my next class, grabbing a new drink from the cafeteria before going because my coffee was already finished.

once I reached class, the seat by the window was already taken, there was only one seat left; it was at the very back.

I'm not complaining though, but I do lack focus whenever I'm back there.

I suddenly remembered when I just started highschool, I always sat at the back of the class…

with… seungmin?

Oh, now I remember.

We used to be chill around each other because we had a lot of similarities, then suddenly, everything turned into a competition of who likes what better.

then it became academic, I won a lot when it came to acads, but these days he’s either ranked one or two, never lower.

his friends was right below him, meaning I was below his friends.

I don't remember exactly what we fought about, but at least now I know some detail.

I also remembered having a small crush on seungmin?

whatever.

I probably only did because he was the only person I talked to and he was also the only person in the whole campus with the same level as me.

the teacher walked in snapping me out of my trance, she didn't wait any second and started discussing, leaving me no choice but to listen.

Throughout the whole class, I felt uncomfortable because not only was my pants feeling all itchy, but my head and my back hurts and I kept on unconsciously trying to recall me and seungmin’s past interactions.

I lost focus on the lesson but still kept trying to listen whenever I catch myself losing focus. I needed to get my rank back.

I was doing something wrong with my acads but I don't know what, if I don't get my rank back this semester I will surely get myself tutored.

But to be honest, getting tutored traumatized me. My parents used to hire really rude tutors before to get me studying ‘well’ and all.

But if I needed to get tutored to get my rank back, I WILL get tutored.

I didn't realize that the class already ended, students were already packing their stuff and leaving while I was just staring at the half blank white board that was now being wiped by the teacher.

I quickly gathered my things and left, I knew I was gonna pass by seungmin again but remembering what he did earlier, I didn't worry too much.

As expected, I passed by seungmin and to my surprise, he was walking with a sweet girl. he had his arms wrapped around her while they were laughing and talking.

oh how I felt bad for the girl. She's gonna get her heart broken like the others.

I said nothing as I noticed seungmin taking a quick glance at me and looking away. I pretended not to notice and kept walking.

So many unusual things already happened today and I don't want to encounter more, because what the hell is happening?

first of all, seungmin bullied me and suddenly became nice, I remembered all of our interactions and lost focus, and now he's walking with a random girl who's ‘bout to get her heart broken.

I've seen enough for today, I’m already so drained. I just want this day to end, it feels so long.

I only had two more classes left before lunch and that still wasn't enough to keep me content, I needed this to finish early.

I can't take more of this bullshit.

I let time fly and barely noticed that i was already walking to the cafeteria, I walked to the back of the line and waited for my turn.

When I got my beverages, I went straight to the rooftop.

I didn't like eating inside the cafeteria, There was a lot of people there and I couldn't bear the loudness.

when I was at the last step, the door from the rooftop swung open revealing a girl crying real hard and running.

the same girl seungmin was with earlier.

after her, the expected came out.

A disappointed, bored looking seungmin comes out. arms crossed and walking slowly.

I tried to ignore him and walked straight past him but of course, he became the person he was this morning.

“Y’know, you’re a real loser eating here all alone everyday.” he looked at me with a straight and serious face.

I unwrapped my burger and took a bite, pretending to not have heard him as I had my headphones on.

“i know you can hear me.”

“i know you can stop being an asshole if you wanted to.” I blurted out, I was already as annoyed by everything and I didn't want him interrupting me.

“that doesn't even- you know what, I don't care.” — “just why are you choosing to be such a loser when you can just socialize?” he boredly asks,

“and why can't you stop annoying me! why can't you stop bullying me and breaking other girls’ hearts?! why are you doing all of this when you can just become a better person?!” I yelled at him, causing him to stay silent.

“why can't you just work on yourself than to try to make me better?” I muttered.

“Because I can’t okay!” He yelled at me, I now noticed the tears that were forming in his eyes.

“Yes you can! you were a much better person when I first met you!” I yelled back, I won't let myself lose in this so-called argument.

“I miss you seungmin.” I finally admitted, looking at him with full of hope that he’ll understand.

“what?” he looks back up, trying to process what I just said.

“i said I missed you, seungmin.” I stood still, not sure of what to do or why I said that.

“How? what do you mean? I don't understand.” he looks at me teary eyed and confused.

“i meant I miss the old you, the person who was fun and chill, the person who used to listen to music with me in my classes, the person who ranted to me when he needed to and also the person that I could rant to.” at this point, I could feel the tears in my eyes start to form.

“I-... I’m really, really, really sorry y/n.” He breaks down completely and falls on the ground, covering his face with both of his hands.

I couldn't help but feel bad, he looked like a complete mess right now.

I couldn't move and didn't know what to do, but I knew I had to do something.

I went closer to him and cupped his face with both of my hands, “i forgive you seungmin, cry it all out.” after that, I hugged him and ruffle his hair while doing so.

I could feel the warmth of his breath hit my neck as he finally hugged me back and cried more onto my neck.

He was mumbling his apologies and reasons while i only sat there and kept on comforting the poor boy.

I soon enough invited him to eat with me, and he gracefully agreed.

After lunch, me and seungmin went straight to our classes.

After that, all I knew was my day went smoothly with seungmin who wasn't bullying me, and in fact was even chatting with me when we got the chance.

All of our classes are finally finished and we bid our goodbyes and separated ways.

After walking for a bit, I realized that I left my phone in our classroom.

I rushed to the classroom I was last in and went straight to my seat, thankfully, the phone was still there.

while I was walking my way back, I saw a beat up seungmin sitting on the floor and leaning on the wall.

I ran close to him, “shit, what happened?” I immediately sat down and took out the first aid kit that I always bring as I tend to be really clumsy and fall wherever I go.

“some... some group of guys stole my stuff.” he groaned while pressing onto his bruised eye.

“that looks pretty bad. let me-” I stopped talking as I focused to medicate the wounds on his face.

as I was finishing patching him up, he suddenly spoke, “why are you even helping me? you suffered so much because of me.” for a small momentum, I stayed quiet.

I realized that he was staring at me the whole time.

“the clinic is closed... when you get home, put an ice pack on this would you?” I said, pointing at his bruised eye and ignoring his question.

he gave me a reassuring nod and stood up as I did the same.

“I guess I have to go now...? bye seungmin, stay safe.” I smiled warmly at him and turned away when he grabbed my arm and turned me around.

“thank you y/n... thank you for forgiving me and helping me. I’m really thankful that you're here.” he held my hand tightly, looking at me straight in the eyes.

I stayed quiet while just looking at him. “Y/n, I... I love you.” — “This is serious, I'm not playing with you or anything, I really do love you.”

I kept quiet.

“I loved you from the start, when I first met you, but things went wrong at home and I took my anger out on people here because I thought it would be unfair if everyone was feeling fine and I wasn't. I regret everything I really do, and you made me realize that.” he sighs as he looks down, letting go of my hands.

We stayed quiet for a few seconds and I finally talked. “it’s okay, I told you right? you could change...” — “and seungmin...” I said and picked up the both of his hands, recreating his previous action.

“i love you too.” I stared at him with sincerity in my eyes.

Seungmin broke down again and hugged me tightly, I did the same thing back and patted his back. I stayed silent, there was no need to say anything.

We were quiet for a few minutes. Seungmin wasn't hugging me anymore, but his head was laying on my shoulder.

“Hey… let’s go home and talk about it, huh?” I cupped both of his cheeks as I stared at his flushed face.

His hair was messy, his eyes were puffy, his lips were plump and was pinkish while his nose and his ears were red.

I tilted my head waiting for a response as he just nodded his head.

We both stood up from the slippery floor and walked out of campus, finally.

“Y/n, do you want to… hang out for a bit?” he asked, staring at me with puppy eyes

I smiled warmly, “of course, minnie.” I said as I wiped the tears in his eyes, making him smile slightly with a hint of joy in him.

I was taken aback when he linked his arms with mine and kept on walking towards the closest café.

I stayed silent the whole time, I wish I stayed in this moment, forever.

We entered the café, arms still linked. “Do you want me to order for you?” — “Actually, that's not a question, I'll order for you. what do you want to get?” he asked, and finally unlinked our arms.

“Um, are you going to pay? I can pay for my-” before I could finish, he cut me off, “no. I will pay y/n, I owe you my life.” 

“I get that I kind of changed you, but don't be drastically dramatic.” I laughed and looked at him, 

“shush… just tell me what you’d like… it's an order.” he cutely shushes me like a little kid, “okay fine, I’d like to have a belgium chocolate latte, please.” I smiled at him and leaned on my hand for support.

“Of course, m’lady.” He smiled again and winked at me, I rolled my eyes at his flirty response and waited for him to come back.

A few minutes later, he came back with two drinks and a few donuts that I didn’t ask for. He probably got hungry from getting beaten up or something.

I was surprised when he gently pushed the plate of donuts towards me, “I got you some extra stuff, maybe you’d like it?” he smiles at me with shiny eyes,

“What… you know what, I'm not even gonna decline. but let's share, okay?” I jokingly say, “whatever you want, my puppy.”

damn, we aren't even dating yet.

I laughed at his sentence and decided to sip my drink and take a bite of the food, at the same time feeding him.

I noticed how his ears would get extremely red when I gave him a bite of the donut, “you’re whipped.” I seriously but jokingly said, “yes ma’am.” He closed his eyes and nodded as a response.

I laughed at his silly little response and kept on doing my thing.

Half an hour had already passed and we decided that we should go home as the sky was getting darker. 

“Can I take you home?” He asks with the same puppy eyes he gave me earlier. as much as I wanted to scream and run and say yes, I stood strong.

“Seungmin, we've already spent a lot of time with each other, no need for more.” I said and placed my phone back inside my bag, he pouted at my response and crossed his arms, turning away from me.

I chuckled, “what are you doing?” He turned around my with his little pouty face and rolled his eyes, I didn't know he was so childish with people he was close with,

or only with me…?

“Please let me walk you home…” he mumbled loud enough for me to hear. “Seungmin, will you date me in the future?” I asked, waiting for a response.

Seungmin seemed to have choked on his words and turned to me, “of course?” he says in a questioning tone, like it was the most obvious thing.

“Then walk me home when we’re dating. Bye minnie! stay safe.” I said and walked the opposite way, I heard him groan and finally talk, “fine! stay safe too, Y/n.” — “thanks for today…” I wasn't too far to not hear as I smiled at his response.

I reached my house and the next thing I knew was I already took a shower and was ready to take a nap. I know this nap is gonna be peaceful remembering what happened today.

I was only supposed to take a nap but it turned into sleep, I woke up the next morning with horrible hair but a pretty face, odd.

I guess it was probably because I wasn't too stressed yesterday.

I got ready for school and time passed by like it was in a time lapse. I was able to focus well on my classes and even got a perfect score on two of my quizzes in two different subjects.

It was finally lunch break as I low-key searched for seungmin in the cafeteria, I just couldn't let him know that I was looking for him.

My heart rose as I saw Seungmin sitting at a table with a group of his friends, they were talking normally and laughing with each other.

I wanted to call his name so bad, I wanted to let him know that I was looking for him.

After a couple of moments of being interrupted by the noises of the cafeteria while eating, my mood suddenly changed.

Some girl was trying to hit on seungmin.

Why do I care? we're not together anyways.

that girl’s a whore.

why am I so affected anyway, he's still a player after all.

rip that girl’s ugly fucking face apart.

I ran to the rooftop, frustrated at the random thoughts that popped up inside of my head. I needed to clear my mind for a moment.

This is why I never eat at the damned cafeteria.

I tried to shrug the thought off and chewed my food ‘till there was almost nothing left, but then suddenly, the door swung open, revealing a smiling seungmin and the whore who now looked like she was ready to make out with him.

My heart dropped as I saw that they were about to kiss, in fucking front of me. 

“get a room.” I say as I pretended to be disgusted by the two and walked out, I saw seungmin’s shocked face before I did and that was all it took for me to start crying.

It was too stressful for me and I couldn't take it anymore. I went home crying and running. Does he treat every girl like how he treats me?

I didn't mind changing my clothes as I was too focused on the fact that seungmin was doing shit with other girls and it gave me a huge horrendous amount of feeling betrayed.

I cried myself to sleep as I had nothing better to do, my only choice was to cry about it because no one knows about what happened to the both of us anyway.

only him.

I shouldn't have trusted him.

I guess trust issues are actually useful sometimes, I should've let it take over.

I woke up from the sound of rocks being thrown at my window, I looked at the time and I knew that by this time my parents would be asleep. who could be throwing rocks at my window at two in the morning?

People would hate me if I said I didn't hesitate to look at who was throwing at the window because one, it's stupid, and two, it could be a killer and my life could be in danger.

but I couldn't care any less, I just wanted to make the dude stop. I just want rest and I can't even get that as well.

I stared in shock when I saw who was in our backyard, it was none other than seungmin.

Society would say that I'm stupid or I'm making a fool of myself if it found out that I let him in, because I mean, he got me pretty fucked up in just a day.

As he entered, I backed away, I didn't want to be close to him even though I literally let him enter my room through my window.

“Y/n are you mad?” He looked at me worriedly, “Well I don’t know seungmin, am I mad?” I looked at him straight in the eyes with an emotionless face.

“You might have misunderstood, it really wasn't what it looked like-” I cut him off, I didn't want to hear more.

“Misunderstood that you were close to fucking that girl? don't worry, it’s okay seungmin. we're not dating.” I replied bluntly and crossed my arms, at this point, I wanted to cry but no tears would come out.

I chuckled, “You’re so good at acting, minnie.” I combed my hair with my hand as I crossed my arms back again after, “please… I didn't mean to…” He walked closer towards me with a ‘pitiful’ face others might say.

“No, no, it’s okay seungmin! totally fine! I mean why are you even apologizing? like we're not even dating bro.” I sarcastically responded to his lame apology. 

“I’ll explain, She claimed to have liked me for years and I didn't know what to do so I acted through it! and she suddenly brought me to the rooftop and I don't know… I left her after I saw you.” he explained, making everything clear for me.

“so seungmin, are you implying that if we dated and some girl confessed to you, you’d fuck her?” I laughed and kept my arms crossed.

“No! no y/n please I really didn't want to! but my friends were making fun of me and calling me names and all…” he scratched his head, I've had enough of this bullshit.

“LAME! you're fucking lame! What kind of excuse is that?! leave my room right now. right now seungmin! fucking asshole.” I yelled and mumbled the last two words. I was so pissed off that I felt as if I wanted to jump off a cliff and die so that he could feel guilty.

The last thing I knew, he was hugging me and crying on my shoulder while repeatedly saying ‘I’m sorry, please don't leave me. I love you.

it broke my heart seeing him like this. my emotions took over me and forgave him, in the end, I was laying my head on his arm while staring at the ceiling.

the dim lamp made it comfortable enough for me to stay still, staying as quiet as ever.

“Y/n please understand if I want to keep our relationship a secret, if we start dating… y’know…” he suddenly speaks, not moving an inch.

“why?” I asked emotionlessly and bluntly, “because of my friends… My parents know you. my friends will snitch on me once they find out that I'm dating you.”

“why?” I repeated my question having no energy to form a proper conversation.

“Your parents, my parents, they know each other. my family talks a lot about how they're trying to beat each other on sales and will do anything to beat them, even if it means risking someone’s life.” he explained as I stayed silent, everything was starting to clear up.

“Seungmin, I'm sleepy.” I exclaimed and yawned, he played with my hair as I slowly melted at his touch and eventually dozed off and slept peacefully.

I woke up the next morning to see that seungmin was no longer by my side, there was only a pillow on where he had his arm and I was laying on it, he must've left while I was sleeping.

I got ready for school and the same thing happened just like any other day. I went to my classes, ate at the rooftop, went home and completely pretended that seungmin didn't exist at all.

it was already night time as I was getting ready to sleep, scrolling a bit on my phone before I heard someone throw rocks on my window again.

It's seungmin.

I let him in as he gave me a hug when he stepped inside, I hugged him back tiredly and laid down on my bed as he did the same as last night, putting his arms under my head as a pillow. 

“I missed you, minnie.” I exclaimed. “I missed you too, my y/n. he replied back.

“How was your day?” he asked, “aren’t your friends wondering why you aren't bothering me at school?” I asked, completely ignoring his question.

“Oh, yeah, they did.” he scratched his head, “what did you say?” I asked,

“I said that there was no point of it anymore, and that I got lazy.” he responded. “m‘kay.” I replied effortlessly as all I wanted to do was sleep. Today was a tiring day from me and I can't even say or do anything properly.

“You seem really tired… y/n.” he says as he played with my hair like last night, “It was a stressful day.” I explained bluntly and closed my eyes.

“I have something important to ask you.” He suddenly says, making me shocked on the inside but having no energy to show it.

“What is it?” I asked nervously, “Can you be my girlfriend?” he turned to me and cupped my face with his right hand.

“huh… you're just tired. Let's get some rest.” I say and shrug it off, closing my eyes once again.

“No y/n, please give me the permission to be yours. to be your boyfriend.” he says, making me open my eyes, I now realized what he has said was serious.

“seungmin… of course.” I say in happiness. I couldn't explain how happy I was, despite the fact that I was all sleepy and tired, I still managed to have the energy to smile and hug him tightly.

He kept on playing with my hair while hugging me back too, “Goodnight, sleep well, love.” I was too tired to respond and dozed off.

As expected, I woke up the next morning with seungmin gone and a pillow under my head.

I got ready, did what I did on a daily basis and everything was going completely normal.

I went to class, ate at the rooftop, went home, and have seungmin throw rocks at my window.

I woke up the next day with seungmin gone like usual and the same cycle repeats over and over again.

Six months passed and the same thing happened every single day, except I was doing better in my studies and I was now ranked second. 

I was walking normally when I saw seungmin talking to a girl who seemed to be flirting with him, he didn't seem to react the same way the girl was acting and stayed there, standing still while staring at her blankly.

I was relieved to see that he reacted like this, but suddenly, the girl started crying and pulled him into the… fucking janitor’s closet?

I stomped my way to the janitor’s closet, kicking the door open with all my strength.

“And what do you think you're doing?” I grabbed the girl by the collar, never in my life had I thought I'd do this, not even something similar to this.

I glared at the girl while she stared at me in shock. 

“Talk, bitch!” I said as I slapped her, seungmin got a hold of my hand which made me stop, “why are you causing such a ruckus y/n?” I froze hearing him call me by my name which he hadn't done since we started dating.

He looked at me coldly, as if we didn't know each other at all.

“what…?” I looked at seungmin, feeling betrayed. He pulled me out of the closet leaving the girl alone and took me to the same rooftop I just came from.

“Are you out of your mind?! do you want my family to find out and break us apart y/n?!” he yelled at me, rubbing his forehead in frustration.

“You might now care but I do, I care. I don't want my parents to fucking find out! I'll fucking die!” He yelled again, kicking an empty can of soda from the floor.

“So you'll let her do shit to you? huh!?” — “I’ve had enough of your bullshit seungmin! This is the second fucking time you let someone try to fuck you!” I yelled back at him, I wasn't backing down now.

“Y/n do you really not understand?! Did you ever consider my damn feelings!?” He turned around.

that sentence broke me completely, I absolutely had nothing to say.

“We’re not getting anywhere. I can't do this anymore, I tried to work this secret relationship shit thing and it's just not working. Let's end this. I'm breaking up with you.” I stared at him in frustration and sadness.

his face dropped, “fuck… no wait, I mean, I'm sorry babe, I’m just really stressed today-” I cut him off, “don’t sugarcoat it now seungmin, I'm sick of this bullshit.” I didn't say anything anymore as I felt like I was gonna have a mental breakdown right there.

In fact, I really wanted to work out things with him but I just couldn't, if our parents hate each other so much then there was no way, we were only in senior highschool and didn't have a job to at least support our decisions with.

I knew it was better to end things with him. It was the right person, but it was the wrong time.

If only I had met him when we're in college, working or something I could work out stuff with him because I know he can handle things without depending on his parents, but I didn't, I had no choice.

seven months passed and I finally was in college. I moved out and got my own apartment that my parents provided me that I soon enough would completely own as I finally got myself a part time job at a nearby hotel.

Being a receptionist was more than enough to keep me alive which led me to renting a larger and fancier apartment.

I was loving my new life at my job, college, my house, everything.

I also met a couple of new people who were hyunjin and jeongin, I met them at a campus project that required working with other college students and we met from making background props for apparently a really big film showing only in a month.

It was a perfectly fine day when I was met with a familiar light-brown haired boy who was looking… more decent now.

I was asked to show him around campus and tell him about all the upcoming large projects we have.

Wow, great timing and great person.

There was an awkward silence between us as I scanned him, he was wearing a simple blue cardigan jacket and some baggy white pants with some good ‘ol Jordans.

“Hi… Y/n. Long time no see.” He broke the silence by speaking in a happy tone that had a hint of nervousness in it.

“Hey, seungmin… I didn't expect to be seeing you today.” it was probably because the school saw on his information that he went to the same school as me in highschool and thought that we’d know each other.

Well great, because we do.

“Um… so…” he spoke and looked down, looking for words to say, “do you wanna see the campus or talk about the projects we have soon?” I talked confidently, I was NOT gonna show him that I was nervous.

To be honest, I missed him a lot but moved on from the past and now think of our past relationship as a sweet little memory of my highschool days.

“Um- we can talk about the projects! if that’s okay…” he said as I noticed his ears get red, like it used to. he's even more shy now.

stop it y/n.

“Yeah, totally. Where do you wanna talk? here or somewhere outside campus?” I asked nicely, waiting for a response.

“Uh, can we talk in a café or something?” He chuckled lightly, oh shit, the memories.

“Oh, yeah, of course.” I said as I put my phone back inside my sling bag and waited for him to lead the way.

He brought me to the closest café and we started talking about the upcoming projects and what he needed to help with. We finished talking after only half an hour and I was finally getting ready to leave.

“Hey y/n, you seem to know everything about campus. Why is that?” He asked me genuinely, raising an eyebrow. 

“I’m the university’s vice president.” I chuckled without looking at him, just gathering all of my things and shoving them in my bag.

“Actually, I've been saving up the courage to ask you this since earlier but can we talk about… you know?”

I knew it, I knew this was gonna happen.

I sat back down and sighed, “fine, make it quick. please.” I pleaded, to be honest I actually never wanted this conversation to end but of course I wasn't gonna say that to my literal ex.

“I… you know what, I'm not gonna talk about the past… I'm just gonna tell you how my days have been, is that okay?” Was he just trying to spend his time with me longer?

“Yeah, go on…” I said, “so… kinda unusual but I'm a caregiver, and I've got my own apartment too, my parents aren't controlling me anymore, thankfully. And yeah, I guess life’s pretty decent… but empty without…” he said, not finishing his words

“What about you, y/n?” He suddenly asked, “well, life’s alright. I'm doing well with my studies and I have an apartment too. I'm also a part time receptionist at a hotel,” I exclaimed.

he smiled, “You’re a receptionist? you must be rich now.” He laughed, “Not to be egoistic or over-confident or something but, it's kinda like that.” I joked around.

“But… gosh. I can't take it anymore, can we… hang out? sometimes?

I stayed silent, I didn't know what to respond. my choice would either fix all of my life problems or make more problems, but I'm saying yes.

“...okay.” I responded bluntly and stood up, “see you… tomorrow. I’ll show you around campus.” I left without hesitation.

I felt suffocated inside there, my heart was pumping really hard after I realized what I just did, I really agreed to repeat history with that guy, with seungmin.

I went home as we didn't really have school today, we just met up because the teacher just wouldn't let me skip a day and the student council wouldn't let me skip an after school meeting either.

It was already dark and I had to go to work today so I rushed home and changed into my work attire and went straight to work.

Weeks and weeks have past and me and seungmin actually started to hang out, things were working out better than before. We were able to go around places without being scared of being seen talking to each other in a friendly way.

Then suddenly, he invited me over to a café… a café I will never forget. 

It was the café that we went to a lot when we were in highschool.

I felt nervous and suffocated but I still went. My heart beating rapidly was also not helping, I saw him sitting there, wearing a sweater and baggy jeans near the glass wall, the same seat we were sitting in when we first made up with each other.

I sat in front of him, waiting for him to say something.

“Y/n… hi.” he greeted me, looking as nervous as ever. I tried to act normal and keep my cool while I was speaking though, someone here had to act all cool.

“Here’s your drink, I ordered earlier.” he says smiling while slightly pushing the drink towards me. I stared at the drink, A belgium chocolate latte.

“Thanks… so why did you call me?” I asked, “So I’ve been thinking…”

“I… I missed you, romantically. Please give me a second chance, y/n.” he held both of my hands, “Um… well, seungmin…” I was speechless.

“I’m really happy that we’re talking again, I've been so sad since we fell apart. I know we can work it out, I really miss you.” he begged.

“oh…” I sighed, “okay.” I looked down, wanting to just explode because I really gave in.

“thank you, thank you so much y/n you don't know how much you mean to me.” I saw him smile passionately while holding my hands tightly.

“Do you want to come over to my apartment and talk privately about it?” he asked, “Sure, seungmin.” I smiled warmly at him.

Once we were inside his apartment, I was surprised to see how clean it was.

We were now sitting at the couch with our unfinished drinks, “Y/n… will you be my girlfriend… I'll do better, I promise.”

it's not a sin to give him a chance, right?

“Of course.” I smiled warmly at him.

“Yes! Thank you! I love you!” he yelled with excitement and started to peck every part of my face.

After all the pecking he did, he hugged me tightly. “I never thought I was gonna be able to get you back, I love you.” he said while shoving his head on my shoulder.

I ruffled his hair and the next thing I knew, we were already walking at the park.

Months have passed, we were doing amazing, we announced our relationship with everyone and my parents weren't too mad, but his parents definitely were, yet we weren't gonna let them stop up and keep us apart, we didn't do all of this for nothing.

“baby… I love you so much.” seungmin suddenly spoke in his morning voice, facing me and hugging me.

I chuckled at how cute he was when he woke up fresh from sleep, “I love you too, minnie.” I exclaimed, making him laugh, still looking high.

“minnie… do you listen to Taylor swift?” I asked him, turning to him and ruffling his hair, “Yes, of course since you love her so much.” He said, 

“Well, I can relate to her, you know.” I smiled, “how?” seungmin asked, “because…”

“all of the girls you loved before made you the one i’ve fallen for. every dead end street led you straight to me, now you're all I need, I'm so thankful for all of the girls you loved before.”

a/n: hi everyone, so yes, as you can tell, this is based on a taylor swift song (all of the girls you loved before) I finished this in only two days so please bear with me if it's bad, but other than that, if you reached it here, congrats. I already consider you as my fan. Thank you for reading and have a great day! 

p.s if you want to see my other socials, you can find it at ⤵

[rubykgrant]

so. Rooster teeth is gone now. Thoughts?

That's both kind of a shock, but also unfortunately not surprising. I haven't really been "in the loop" regarding Rooster Teeth as a whole thing like other people online (I literally never knew anything they did outside of RVB 10+ years ago, except for hearing people vaguely talk about RWBY and Gen:Lock, and even then, I only really saw RVB to begin with because a friend had borrowed the DVDs from their older bro, who had borrowed them from a friend of his). I only randomly remembered RVB was a thing a couple years ago, and then it took over my brain. THEN, one of the more recent incidents of how RT mistreats employees was brought up, and while a lot of people were (sadly) used to hearing about that, I was not aware of previous situations, and it honestly made me very upset. I wrote a whole thing about that, which nobody "important" really saw, because I'm not important myself, but this new situation makes me feel more of the same...

It is awful that so many problems went on for so long, a LOT of people got hurt through working there over the years. They all deserved to be treated better. Being in a bad situation like that can mess up your whole life. That kind of thing also hurts how people work, and surprise-surprise, that hurts WHERE they work. You can't mistreat employees over and over, then turn around and give the fans the equivalent of a slap in the face when it comes to letting them actually enjoy the content, and expect everything to just work out OK. I am genuinely sad that yet another thing is getting shut down; it happens so often, with different studios/creative teams, and it would be nice to actually see a group recognize what their problems have been, make an actual effort to IMPROVE, and continue to exist. I hope all the creative people involved who have been working hard don't just get thrown on the wayside, but it is so difficult to find any stability in the entire entertainment business world right now. There were a LOT of problems at RT regarding how employees were treated, and that includes so MANY people, but there is also a vast amount of problems at just about every creative workplace (and this has been going on for more than a decade). Almost nothing survives, except a handful of companies who basically just "eat" up smaller ones, and have the money to fail or lose money over and over again, and not worry. Who cares if they shut down 10 other studios and end 50 projects that were almost finished? They still have their money. It is also just honestly WEIRD how many different companies keep making the same mistakes with how they offer content to the fans (limiting availability, not even letting people buy the stuff they want to buy, etc. RT has gotten a lot of hate for recent stuff with their online videos, but availability is a whole problem with all kinds of media; Disney won't let you watch it's own movies, Nintendo won't let you play it's own games; it's STUPID), and then being surprised it isn't working. Stop shooting yourselves in the foot. Stop doubling-down on the same nonsense. It isn't WORKING.

Again, it would have been nice to see a negative situation actually be IMPROVED. Maybe that is naively hopeful of me, but I'm also not exactly surprised. I'm just sorry so many people worked on so many different projects, with all their passion, talent, and effort, got mistreated, and it is now all being thrown away. It is just plain sad that so much can go wrong for entirely too many years, and then it just ends without anything being fixed. "Well it sucked, but now it's dead"- it didn't HAVE to suck, and it didn't HAVE to die. I wish it had been better from the beginning, and I wish that things could have gone better throughout. I hope all the creative people are able to keep living their lives and find themselves in workplaces where they can be safe (for their own emotional/mental health, and in terms of making enough money to actually live).

[pennylanefics]

Fan of Mine - Josh Kiszka

a/n: another fic that's been sitting in my docs for a while now :) some soft and sweet josh bc why not

summary: you stumble across an interview of josh from before you were dating

word count: ~ 1k

*gif is not mine. credit goes to whoever made it*

Josh was in his office, working on some new lyrics for a new song that they don’t even have a melody to yet. He had locked himself in there all day, leaving you to entertain yourself for the most part.

This led to you venturing onto social media, where Greta content was popping up on every app you entered. No one knew that you are dating Josh, fans specifically.You’ve managed to keep your relationship very private, though Josh was open about the fact that he is in a loving and committed relationship.

Fans of course speculated on who he could be dating, but no one ever could figure it out. You stayed out of things relating to Greta to prevent this, meaning when you went to shows, you went ‘incognito’ and didn’t go backstage or to the hotel with them, to limit the risk of being seen.

On TikTok, you came across a video of Josh and Sam doing a Zoom interview. You had never seen it before, despite being a well-versed fan before dating Josh, something you were quite open about.

The interviewer asks if they would ever date a fan. Immediately, Sam declines, though around this time he was still in a relationship, and Josh answers in a more detailed way, saying how he doesn’t really want to date someone that knows what he does and whatnot.

You felt a small pang in your heart and anxiety raise in your body. He knew you were a fan before, right? Of course he knew, you met at a Fleet Foxes concert and you talked about how much you love his band’s music and how you got into Fleet Foxes because of them.

The video kept playing over and over as you got lost in your own thoughts. Just then, Josh appeared from down the hall, walking into the kitchen and getting a glass of water.

“Honey?” He calls out, breaking you from your daze. You look up at him and smile. “You doin’ okay?” He wonders. Nodding, you lean up for a kiss, which he happily gives you.

“I’ll just be a little bit longer, and then I’m all yours, I promise,” he mumbles against your lips. You hum in acknowledgement and curl back up under the cover. The door to Josh’s office clicks shut and you go back to staring off and getting lost in your mind.

You watch the video a couple more times before you throw the cover off of your body and run down the hall to the office. You almost break through the door, which startles Josh as he jumps a little, eyes wide with confusion.

“(Y/N), what’s-”

“You said you would never date a fan, but you’re dating me,” you state, pausing to collect what you wanted to say. “What…changed your mind? Because you knew I was a fan at the time of meeting you and I still am, but if you would never date someone who knows what you do, why are you with me?”

The way your last question came out sounded that you were doubting Josh’s love for you. And this is what Josh thought right away. Within seconds, he is standing in front of you, cradling your face in his hands.

“Hey hey, don’t think like that, okay? Yeah, I do remember saying that, and yeah, I did mean it at the time. But upon meeting you, everything changed. I was aware you knew who we were, but you didn’t care about meeting Josh Kiszka from Greta Van Fleet. You cared about Josh, a fellow fan of the band we were seeing and was sat next to. And you never once brought up anything relating to what I do. We talked like we were old friends, like my status of being a well-known rockstar was nothing. And I absolutely adored that. Yeah, you listen to our music and follow along with our social media, but that means very little to me when everything else about you means so much. And I know that probably doesn’t make sense, but the way you treated me like a human rather than just another famous person, it really attracted me to you. I am so fucking happy I get to go through life with you by my side, I wouldn’t change it for the world. I know I’m dating a fan, but honestly, who gives a shit? At the end of the day, you love me and I love you, and that’s all that matters. The (Y/N) I got to know was not some crazy fangirl who only wants my attention because I’m a famous rockstar. Also, you have proven that you’re not using me in any way, for fame or popularity. So you have nothing to worry about, baby. I’m not going anywhere just because of a silly little interview question from like three years ago. You are the love of my life, (Y/N), and the fact that you knew about me before we met isn’t going to change anything. We’ve been together for almost two years, and I plan on being with you for a lot longer, babe.”

About halfway through his speech, tears form in your eyes and fall down your cheeks, but his thumbs catch them before they can fall to the ground.

“I love you, Josh,” you choke out, falling into his arms. He grins and wraps his arms around your body, holding you as close to him as possible.

“I guess now’s a good time to tell you that I got us tickets for the Fleet Foxes concert here around our anniversary,” he murmurs into your neck. You pull away and look at him with wide eyes.

“Really?” He chuckles and nods, locking his hands at the small of your back. 

“Thought it would be a nice present. Spend our two year anniversary in the same place we met,” he whispers, leaning forward to kiss your cheek. “The place I met the love of my life in a fan of mine.”

–

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[ailendolin]

The Heart - A Norne Valentine's Day Fic

Title: The Heart [AO3]

Characters: Thomas/Nigel, Pat, Robin, Julian, Fanny, the Captain

Summary: On Valentine's Day, Pat helps Nigel confess his love to Thomas.

A/N: Inspired by this ask I got in response to asking for fluffy Norne fic ideas for Valentine's Day. Thanks again, anon and @theancientvaleofsoulmaking

————

The Heart

Thomas was used to seeing bored expressions when he recited his poetry. There were some things not even death could change, and people’s lack of interest in his work was one of them. Sometimes he wondered why he still bothered. The words never came out right anyway, no matter how hard he tried or how true and genuine his intentions were. And even on those rare occasions when they did, when true inspiration struck and the stars aligned just right for rhyme and verse to fall into place like puzzle pieces, no one ever noticed because it was charcoal they expected, not diamonds.

It was disheartening, knowing that no one cared. On particularly bad days Thomas sometimes felt tears prick his eyes when he caught the Captain falling asleep during one of his recitals or Julian quietly laughing with Robin somewhere in the back, thinking Thomas couldn’t hear him. Thomas could, though, and he did. The others might think that he had his head in the clouds all day, blissfully ignorant of their sharp words, but he’d always been aware of the eye-rolling, the mockery, the barely hidden yawns that preceded another of his verses. It was what he remembered at night when he tried to fall sleep, and it all haunted him into his dreams.

Sometimes, he found himself looking up at the stars where Mary and Annie were and wishing for someone to actually listen to what he had to say and not outright dismiss it as boring or annoying. Thomas knew it was silly – in the same sense that he knew most of his poems were mediocre at best. Most, not all, though. Every once in a while one stood out from the mess of verse and rhyme. That poem, a gemstone among the rubble, carried a piece of his heart and he wanted someone to cradle it in their hands and hold it close – not trample all over it with huffs of annoyance or boredom. Was it truly so unreasonable to wish for someone to treat it as the precious, soul-baring thing it was? Isabelle had done it, all those years ago. Oh how her eyes had lit up that day they’d first met when he recited one of his poems for her. She had been so touched by his words she’d written to him the very day after that she could not get the words out of her head. It had been the beginning of–

Nothing, Thomas thought as he stepped in front of the others, ready to bare his heart once more in verse even though he knew no one would appreciate it. It could have been something, though, and some days he gave into temptation and allowed himself to imagine the letter in his vest was that very first one Isabelle had written to him rather than the lying deceit Francis had crafted.

I am looking forward to hearing more of your poetry soon, Mr Thorne.

Looking at his fellow ghosts, Thomas could already tell they did not share the sentiment. Disappointed but not surprised, he took a deep breath and performed his poem anyway. Hope was a dangerous thing – he knew that better than anyone – and yet he was still waiting for someone to hear him, still hoping Isabelle’s heart wouldn’t be the only one his poems would ever touch.

It was nothing but a fool’s hope, and perhaps that was why it fitted him so well.

————

When he stood behind the sofa with his hands firmly clasped in front of him two weeks later on Valentine’s Day, Thomas was trying not to scowl as he waited for Pat’s latest club to begin. He was not in the mood to entertain anyone today, and even though he’d made that very clear earlier, Pat had still dragged him away from his favourite sighing spot in the library with an enthusiastic, “You’re going to love it, Thomas! Today’s club is right up your alley!”

Today’s club happened to be What I’d Do On Valentine’s Day If I Could Club, and attending it was the last thing Thomas wanted to do. He did not care to hear Julian talking about cheating on his wife, another rant of Fanny’s about her husband or Robin’s crude comments about his relationship with his sister – something Thomas already knew far more about than he’d ever asked to know. He just wanted peace and quiet. Valentine’s Day always made his heart feel a little heavier and he longed for silence of the library or the calmness of the lake where the sound of the rain drowned out the melancholic thoughts that had been plaguing him all morning.

Damn him for being unable to say no to Pat.  

Out of the corner of his eyes, Thomas saw a flash of muted green and orange scurrying into the room – one of the villagers from the basement. Nigel if he remembered correctly.

Pat’s face lit up. “Ah, here he is: our key speaker for today’s club! Everyone, please give Nigel a very warm welcome!”

The others clapped half-heartedly as Nigel joined Pat in the centre of the room. Thomas could tell he was nervous. He smiled and waved at them shyly but his eyes betrayed the same self-consciousness and uncertainty Alison’s had when she’d been confronted with the prospect of talking in front of a camera a few years ago. It piqued his curiosity a little. Whatever this was about clearly was important to him – the villagers never came upstairs without reason, after all, and they certainly never joined one of the clubs unprompted. Given that today’s club was all about Valentine’s Day, Thomas wondered if Nigel was here to talk about a long lost love of his, forgotten by time just as much as Thomas’s love for Isabelle had been, or if he’d perhaps fallen in love with someone and was about to confess his undying love to them. Looking around the room, Thomas had a feeling it was Kitty who had caught Nigel’s eye. She was gorgeous – there was no denying that – and sweet, always ready to light up the room with a smile. Only a fool would not lose his heart to her.

Realising his choice of words, Thomas swallowed hard and looked down at his feet. He’d be happy for Kitty – of course he’d be – but he wasn’t sure his heart could bear the sight of new love blossoming today of all days. For Kitty, he would try to smile, though. He did not want to be the one to ruin this wonderful moment for her, if indeed that was why Nigel was here.

Forcing the heartache from his features, he looked up again, hoping the expression on his face was one of gentle neutrality. At the front, Pat was giving Nigel one last encouraging smile before he sat down next to Kitty. Nigel took a deep breath and, after nervously fiddling with his sleeve for a moment, he finally looked up. His eyes landed on Thomas.

Softly and without looking away, he said, “On Valentine’s Day, I’d want to be noticed if I could.”

Then he took another breath, shakier this time, and began.

“It beats so strongly in my chest Looking for a sign Looking for the day I’ll find A love I may call mine

It thumps so loudly in my ears Begging me to hope Begging me not to give up Although it’s hard to cope”

“This sounds vaguely familiar,” the Captain muttered under his breath to Fanny.

It should, Thomas thought as he stared at Nigel in open-mouthed wonder. It was his poem, the one he had composed in a fit of despair when Alison had told them she and Mike found a new home and performed for the others only two weeks ago. He was fairly certain Nigel had not been present for the recital – in fact, it had been weeks since he’d seen any of the villagers. And yet somehow here Nigel was, knowing the words of his poem as intimately as if his own heart had composed it. The impossibility of it was enough to take Thomas’s breath away.

“I tell it, ‘Stop. Don’t bother so We’re doomed to be alone We’re doomed to feel the pain of love Forever on our own

And slowly, slowly, it agrees And quiets down inside And quiets down and curls up tight Until at last it dies”

The poem reached its end and Thomas felt every word of it so deeply within his bones his hands began to shake. He had never heard anyone perform his poetry before. This was the first time anyone had bothered to remember his words, and it was humbling to hear them fall from someone else’s lips with such passion and reverence. Thomas had no idea what had brought this on but in the face of such a gift the how and why ceased to matter. Despite the sadness of the poem - a sadness he’d felt so very keenly since he’d woken up this morning, he found himself smiling for the first time that day when the last line echoed into silence.

But Nigel wasn’t done yet. After a brief pause in which his eyes seemed to beg Thomas for something, he continued.

“But then a voice from far away Calls out, “Please look at me.” Calls out that there is always hope Beneath the cherry tree”

The smile slipped from Thomas’s face as his mouth fell open. This wasn’t part of his poem. This – this was new, written in the spirit of his work but using words that were not his. He looked at Nigel, just s Nigel was asking him to with his verse, and found himself drawn in so thoroughly the world around him seemed to cease to exist.

“For I have longed for you, my love For years and years and years For years I’ve watched as you bled dry And silently shed tears”

My love, Thomas thought breathlessly. Alison often said he tended to jump to conclusions but Nigel had been looking at him when he said those words – had in fact not looked at anyone else since Pat sat down and gave the stage. Why would he do that if the words weren’t meant for him?

“I’m here,” I say and hope you’ll hear So you might look at me So you might look beyond my sores And see how I love thee”

Nigel’s voice cracked and–

Oh, Thomas thought. His heart missed a beat. Oh.

“For love is why my heart thumps so And begging me to hope And begging you to look my way And let me help you cope”

He did not know if it was the pleading note in Nigel’s voice or the way he’d rephrased his original second verse, but when Thomas blinked, he felt a tear rolling down his cheek. There was an emptiness inside him he couldn’t put into words, and it was so profound in a positive way he suddenly found it hard to breathe. No one had ever expanded on one of his poems before and made it his own. More importantly, no one had ever told him they loved him before, not even Isabelle who had always smiled so sweetly at him but never dared to utter those precious words.

“Good lord,” Thomas faintly heard the Captain say over the deafening sound of blood rushing in his ears.

Slowly, one by one, the others turned to look at him, waiting for a reaction. Thomas knew they expected him to laugh at Nigel, to mock him for thinking Thomas would ever fall in love with someone like him. It’s what they would do because the simple clothes, the dirt, the plague sores were all they saw. As if any of that mattered. As if Thomas wasn’t marked by death just as much as Nigel was and didn’t know how much courage it took to stand before someone who could strike you down with one harsh word and reveal your heart to them. As if he could possibly be cruel when Nigel was looking at him like this – with hope that was desperate to shine through the wariness and fear it was warring with. It was a look Thomas knew very well. Nigel was expecting him to let him down. He’d walked into this room, believing he would leave with his heart in pieces, and taken the risk anyway. Because that was the effect love had on even the weariest of souls – to try against all odds, foolish as it might be. It was like looking into a mirror and seeing his own hopeless dreams reflected at him, and Thomas nearly found himself at a loss for words at the familiar tragedy of it all.

“That was beautiful,” he managed at last, his tone soft and full of wonder as if he were a child again and just heard his grandmother recite her favourite poem to him for the first time.

A faint blush rose to Nigel’s cheeks and, ducking his head, he whispered, “Thank you. I – I hope you won’t take offence.”

“Offence?” Thomas asked, his heart sinking. He stepped around the sofa, bridging the distance between them. “Why would I be offended, Nigel?”

“Well,” Nigel stammered. “I – I took your poem and changed it.”

Thomas gave him a bemused look. “You elevated it, if anything. I had no idea you were a poet.”

“Oh no, I’m not,” Nigel said around an embarrassed laugh. “I just … let my heart speak.”

“I know,” Thomas said softly, feeling his heart flutter against his ribs in an almost-forgotten feeling of connection. For the first time since he’d known him, he looked at Nigel – really looked at him: past the scars, the sores, the grime; past the elegant nose, the bright blue eyes, the long, wavy hair. He took in the crow’s feet and laughter lines, the way one side of Nigel’s mouth twitched with the beginning of a shy smile, the restless motions of his fingers that betrayed his nervousness just as easily as Thomas’s own always did.

Thomas was no stranger to a man’s beauty even if he’d never allowed himself to linger on it before. There had been no reason to focus on something so impossible and out of reach when he found the female form just as attractive. Now, though – now things were different. Happily ever afters didn’t look the way they did two hundred years ago. They’d all seen that when Claire and Sam got married. Love was so much more now, and it was beautiful.

Seeing it shine from Nigel’s eyes so unabashedly was beautiful too.

“Oi, get a room!” Julian suddenly shouted, reminding Thomas of the fact that he was not alone and had been staring at Nigel in silence for far longer than was probably appropriate. He cleared his throat, hoping no one would notice the blush he could feel rising to the tips of his ears. Luckily, Kitty came to his rescue.

“Oh, leave them be, Julian,” she said and heaved a happy sigh. “This is so romantic.”

“Romance is stupid,” Robin said. “If you want to do it just do it.”

Right, Thomas thought, feeling his ears burn now. Time to leave.

He leaned a little closer to Nigel and, heart beating faster in his chest than it normally would, asked, “How about we continue this on a walk across the grounds?”

Hope was blooming on Nigel’s face, as beautiful as a sunrise. “I’d love that.”

They left the room through the nearest wall, and Julian’s catcalls and Robin’s singsong remarks of, “Thomas got a date!” followed them all the way down the stairs. Thomas knew Robin was just teasing but a warm feeling settled in his stomach anyway. He wouldn’t consider a walk across the grounds a date – not in the modern sense – but it was similar enough to the acquaintance and calling stages of courtship that he couldn’t help a little bit of excitement bubbling up inside him. He wanted to give Nigel a chance, wanted to find out what this shy, tentative what-if between them their poem had created could grow into with a little care and nurturing. Nigel saw something in him no one except Isabelle ever had – something that was worth loving. If that was not reason enough to open his heart, then what was?

“It’s all right if you don’t feel the same, you know?” Nigel suddenly said softly when they’d phased through the front door and found themselves standing outside in the gentle rain. “I’m not expecting anything from you. I just wanted you to know that you are loved, and today seemed as good as any to tell you.”

The love Nigel was speaking of shone so clearly in every word he said that Thomas felt his throat close up. At its core, it was the same kind of love that had pushed him and the others to let Alison go – a selfless love, a noble love – and it was directed at him.

“Thank you,” Thomas whispered. Without thinking, he reached for one of Nigel’s hands and gave it a squeeze, hoping Nigel would understand that he did not have the words to say more in that moment. “Thank you, Nigel.”

Nigel smiled at him, sweet and shy, and squeezed back. When neither of them let go, Thomas found himself smiling as well.

“Hands off!” Fanny suddenly shouted from above, startling them both. “There are rules for this sort of thing, you know? Don’t make me come down there and chaperone you! I will!”

Knowing it was a threat she would go through with, Thomas gave Nigel’s hand one last squeeze and pulled away. “No need to, Fanny.”

“We’ll see about that,” Fanny said before she phased back through the window.

“She’s scary,” Nigel whispered.

“I know, right?” Thomas said.

They looked at each other and laughed, and just like that what little awkwardness had still been between them dissipated. They set out to walk among the snowdrops, and as they talked about their lives, their deaths and the poetry of everything in-between, they made each other smile and laugh. For the first time in two hundred years, Thomas opened his heart to someone and did not feel afraid, and when he glanced at Nigel he wondered if this was how love was supposed to feel like.

He couldn’t wait to find out.  

[my-reality-my-rules]

Hi! Have you tried to shift using the lucid dream method? I'm just curious how it usually goes :( I tried it earlier for the first time and when I was doing my reality checks and became aware that I was dreaming, I felt like I was floating and spinning. I was spinning and my whole body felt it. I was wondering why it was taking so long because I know I have to create a portal. Instead, when I stopped spinning, I only got into a scenario where I thought I finally woke up; like a dream within a dream. Actually, I've been having this kind of dreams lately - a dream within a dream whenever I try to shift.

Have a great day! 💗

[thanks for this ask!]

I've used the lucid dreaming method only a few times—and while I've yet to successfully shift into any of my DR's with it, i have had many dreams caused by it. weirdly enough, they're all related to my DR's. there are times when i have them that i become aware that I'm dreaming (and, inside the dream, state my affirmations)—but i haven't had a full conscious shift to my fandom DR's with it yet.

moving on to your question, though; what you're describing is something called a false awakening. as you've mentioned, it's a dream within a dream, where you 'wake' up but realise you're still sleeping. kinda like an inception.

the phenomenon is also counted as a form of lucid dreaming, from what I've heard, so we might be able to incorporate some other tips from that here.

≿❈≾

(1) the portal

i once saw this tip on reddit where the shifter makes a portal on the ground so the actual transportation itself feels more natural to them. this is a combination of two posts I've seen online—one from quora and one from reddit (if i recall correctly).

basically, don't imagine anything too incredible (for insane; a very space-esque portal, such as the one in the first avengers movie), especially if it's your first time using the method. try something small for your portal first, like a dip in the ground, or a simple door.

while they're not the most exciting things to imagine, they should be able to ground you to your dream. the point of the lucid dreaming method is to act as a gateway, not unconscious entertainment (that's my take on it at least).

- - -

(2) intention

I'm pretty sure I've mentioned this in an old post regarding the intention method, but i suppose it could apply here as well. basically, set your intentions before you sleep, and try your best to affirm when you gain awareness in your dream.

there's a reason why mindset is always given emphasis when it comes to shifting. whether it's for a method, a manifestation, or for motivation—setting even just the smallest intentions can change the way you go about things.

when you realise you're lucid dreaming, i highly encourage that you make affirmations. not just for going to your DR (such as the classic, I am in my DR), but for getting that far into your method as well (like saying, I am proud of myself for being able to complete my chosen method). i have no idea if that made sense—but i hope it got the point across.

the more passionate you are with your endeavour, the more dedicated, the better you could hold yourself afloat. don't treat shifting as a chore because it will feel like one (I'm currently on a break as well). emotions can also play a large factor in your intentions, so keep that in mind.

- - -

(3) extra resources

here's a link to a reddit post i found while researching. I'm not a master at lucid dreaming, so i obviously had to look to other sources that could provide some insight for the situation.

my favourite tip from the list, however, is the first post-scriptum message. dream naturally. don't force yourself, and let it come to you as it is. sometimes, the most complex situations can have the simplest solutions. obviously, there are other actions you can perform involved, but to me, this seems like one of the most important things to remember.

≿❈≾

and that's it! i know i listed only three tips above, but i didn't want to repeat things that many others have already said. i was trying to make my own observations about the method, and i hope the ones i gave were useful at least.

much love, and happy shifting ❤️❤️

[merakiui]

Ah Mera, your last Riddle fic was marvellous! I don't know how you do it, but the way you scale things up, how you describe the tension and feelings... It's so well done that I can feel it alongside the protagonist! It makes me feel kind of a weird kinship with the reader, ism how to explain it!

Whenever I read yandere Riddle, usually I feel a little bit bad for him because of his mother's abuse. Reader just happened to treat him nice as a kid and as the years went by, his mother only pushed him towards the only thing that treated him well(...for now). But that's not an excuse to his behaviour; he was the one to commit to the idea of marriage and jumping off the cliff, directly into the maw of obsession. The idea of being trapped inside a dollhouse is, by far, more terrifying than being restrained in a basement or isolate room. The only one who might find reader is Trey, and I am under the slight suspicion that he won't move a finger not only because it will upset Riddle, but also you have been one of the reason to cause Riddle to overblot and many other arguments within the Dorm, so why help the person that have been making his already demanding fire juggling job far difficult that it is, just because you are acting out of spite.

As another anon commented, I can't wait for what you have in store for Dottore's fic 😭 I have been simping for him since the day I Saw him in the manga! And now with the trailer... I might have to start practising holding my breath for prolonged periods of time, as the way you'll described everything will surely try to steal the breath away from me!

Just a funny thought, but that mention of a second part had me entertaining the thought of Younger Dottore taking home reader (assuming that the scenario is somewhere away from his abode) and reader, who wholehearted believe that things can't get worse, ask Dottore as they approach the house, if the man by the door is his dad or uncle, only for him to tell reader: "That's me :^)"

Thank you for reading and liking it!!!! I’m happy you can feel kinship with the reader! I really like stories that completely immerse you while also allowing you to connect to the reader or follow them on their journey, so I’m glad you could feel that while reading Love me Not!! :D

I think what’s most unfortunate about the situation is that Riddle is clearly aware of the reader’s feelings and all that his mother did to both him and her, yet he still chooses to confine her in hopes that captivity might sway her heart. If he really wanted to experience love, albeit temporary, he could choose to use love potions. But that’s nowhere near as satisfying as shrinking his beloved down and keeping her in a dollhouse, where he has complete control over every aspect of her life. Not even Trey can save her and even if he could I don’t think he would. He would just continue to enable Riddle’s behavior because she keeps him happy (most of the time) and a happy Riddle means a peaceful time for Heartslabyul.

Aside from the sk!Jade au, I think the Dottore fic will be the most horrifying in terms of explicit gore/death trigger warnings (if that isn’t anyone’s cup of tea in a fic I completely understand!) I want to write a very gritty story for him, so I’m excited to post it! I would tell more, but I don’t want to spoil anything! But I wish you luck with your breath-holding practice lol!

Oooh, the way reader’s heart would drop when they realize there isn’t just one Dottore. Surviving one Dottore is hard enough, but enduring multiple?! Good luck to reader… >_< I wonder if any of the Dottore clones ever get jealous or annoyed of the other(s), especially the one who spends the most time with darling.

[alpacahat67]

Woah hey haha didn't know there were so many people out there who liked both TWST AND Labyrinth uhh.

...Am I legally obligated to talk about my Jareth TWST oc now?

I guess so. Here's the boy. My little meow meow.

I guess I'll give oc info here now!

[Octavinelle Dorm]

Jewell Labelle Twisted from: Jareth the Goblin King (Labyrinth 1986) Other inspirations: Ziggy Stardust (The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders From Mars)

Grade/Class: Junior/Class C Birthday: August 10th (Leo) Species: Fae (Specifically barn owl) Age: ??? (Says he's around 18 though) Height: 6" (183 cm) Dominant Hand: Left Homeland: Briar Valley Club: Film Studies Club Best Subject: Conjuration Hobbies: Guitar Pet Peeves: Bad hair days (lol) Favorite Food: Mice (it's actually angel food cake but he isn't going to tell that to anyone lol) Least Favorite Food: All fish. Of any kind. Talent: Magic Tricks

Sexuality: Bisexual Gender: Yeah. Pronouns: He/Him Family: Anastasia Labelle (mother), Essex Labelle (father)

Stubborn yet charming. Like most Octavinelle students, Jewell will do anything to get his way, including underhanded tactics. And if something is not to his liking, he will complain. A lot.

Unique Magic: "Such a pity..."

Jewell can condense a fantasy of his making into the form of a bubble. Once this bubble pops against the skin of someone, the afflicted person will soon fall asleep, dreaming of the fantasy the bubble was made from. This slumber can last up to 13 hours at the most. Outside forces will not wake the sleeping person, however, they can definitely become aware that they are dreaming and wake themself up. (Like how Sarah sees the clock and realizes she's dreaming in the ballroom scene in Labyrinth.)

Backstory!!

Jewell is the only son of a fae archivist and resides in the Briar Valley. Considering the amount of fae species spread throughout the world of Twisted-Wonderland, it occurred to Jewel's great-great-grandfather many years ago to begin to archive information about all of these species. Their work is nowhere near done, hence why Jewell is next in line to continue the work of his ancestors. Jewell doesn't particularly want this role. He's more upset that he isn't somewhere else touring with some friends and playing guitar. But there's not much he can do, is there? Life isn't fair.

As a result of his father's profession, he had to travel around a lot, leaving Jewell with a near-nonexistent relationship with his father. His mother, on the other hand, is overbearing in the sense that she is far too worried about his physical safety and well-being to the point where she doesn't allow Jewell to leave the estate by himself. Yet, she has made no point to try to fix Jewell's unsavory way of treating the people around him. Objectively, he is mean and manipulative for fun.

There IS more to Jewell's backstory but I'm still working on some characters involved with him, so this is a WIP for now :3

Fun Jewell Facts:

-Jewell can turn into a barn owl (he also screeches like one!) -He has a deal with Azul where he technically doesn't "work" at the Mostro Lounge like other students. He's entertainment. He'll play guitar or do magic tricks for customers. -He has this DRAMATIC ASS on-and-off relationship with another oc I have twisted from Howl Pendragon LMAO -One time he scared a napping Leona on purpose. Leona knew it was Jewell. He didn't give a shit. -He's like the only Octavinelle student who actually passed flight class (that's not saying much he passed with a D+). Well, he takes potion-making over flight now but before he was a third year? -Jewell can turn his head 270 degrees like an owl. He also is able to eat small rodents and bugs. They don't taste very good but he says he eats mice regularly to scare people. -HATES Malleus Draconia with a PASSION for NO REASON. Anarchy except for the King of Goblins, he's okay. -He acts in films for the Film Studies club on occasion. Jewell mainly helps with general audio stuff and helps compose music.

List of References made to Jareth, Ziggy Stardust, or generally David Bowie in Jewell's character:

-Jewell is unwilling to take over his father's profession but has to do it anyway similar to how Jareth seems unwilling to be the Goblin King but has to anyway. Both of them would rather be down in SoHo lol. -Left-handed, extremely pale ("He played it left-hand, but made it too far", "Well-hung and snow white tan" -Ziggy Stardust (TRAFOZSATSFM)) -Heterochromia (Bowie had anisocoria, his left pupil was permanently dilated as a result of a fight with George Underwood over a girl when he was a teenager. It's a common misconception that Bowie had heterochromia. Hence why I gave Jewell heterochromia.) -The pouch hanging from his belt looks like Hoggle's pouch of trinkets that Sarah steals at some point for a reason. -I created the whole barn owl subset of fae entirely because of Jareth shifting into the form of a barn owl in Labyrinth. -Jewell's mother Anastasia is technically twisted from the Junk Lady. I chose her because, in a SINGLE draft of the Labyrinth script, she was Jareth's mother. And I thought it was FUNNY.

This boy is a combo of Jareth (shown to be selfish and manipulative) and Ziggy Stardust (literally died because he got too famous and let it get to his head). Get him help his ego is farrr too big.

[creune]

So I've hit a rough patch

Not with creativity, I have ideas galore

But mentally

Feelings of worthlessness and low energy cropping up yet again to spit in my face when I was actually getting stuff done, syphoning my energy and trying to bring me to a halt

These have not been nice

My partner is doing everything to help deal with it, and I don't even understand why

I know, love and all that, but just

Lack the understanding of why not just look for someone lower maintenance

I'm trying to hold it together as best I can, but it's not that easy to convince myself that jumping out of a window would not be pleasant sometimes

I think I'm doing well enough, considering I have not yet had a close meeting with pavement

I don't really get why these happen, always at random, just fucking over whatever is going on, making my partner worry and me not being able to do much of anything other than literally force myself to see the bright side yet again, just for it to come back and repeat the whole thing

It's annoying

I don't like it

And I don't really know what to do with them

These aren't new things, but they haven't been this bad in so long I forgot how to stop these since then

I think so much death and negativity around me might have something to do with it, alongside being the emotional punching bag whenever I leave my room

Cause yeah, my grandpa also kicked the bucket not too long ago

Which shocked everyone, except me for some reason

Like, when you have serious brain damage due to being an alcoholic fuck, it's kind of expected after a summer in the hospital

I don't really feel any sadness for that one, but it clearly had a worse effect on everyone else than my great grandma's

Except for me of course

Which means that I'm getting screamed at and lectured every time they see me outside my room, for shit that's not even my responsibility or fault

Been fun

Not really but whatever

I still try to keep spirits up or at least entertain myself when they force me to interact

Recently my favorite past time is giving reasonable explanations and just plain reasons and logic as to why something they scream at me for is not really my fault and refuse to be gaslit, and just seeing how quickly I can make them devolve into just plain calling me names

Haven't been doing that since I was a lil shit

I still am one, just grown up and aware of the reality of the situation

I just refuse to be treated like crap over their grief

If they would actually like, communicate with me like adults, there would be absolutely no issues

But being berated over expectations that have never ever been set is not the way

But that always happens

They get stressed and take it out on me

I don't know what I did wrong to be on the receiving end of a stress ball, but oh well

I mean, I know exactly why they don't like me, I'm not the person they wanted me to be, but I don't think wanting to be myself is a good enough reason for that bs

I wouldn't really care if it wouldn't keep destroying any self-worth I scramble together and make me wanna kiss the floor face first from a skyscraper

I have my own emotions and life to manage, I really don't have the capacity to deal with their underdeveloped coping mechanisms

I'm honestly only scared of hurting my partner by being too much of a hassle and ruining their grades, he doesn't deserve that, and I don't wanna lose her (love this goofball more than anything else in this world and the fear of that happening is just, yeah)

In other news, my classes have started and I am having fun. Most of it is scary as shit cause I don't yet understand it but, I'll get there

Hopefully

And regarding my work, I will have a lot less time and energy to work on it, but I'm trying

I'm just

Trying

Cause not trying would mean giving up, but I won't

Not on my work, not on my dreams, not on my life, not anything

The task may feel like building a pyramid from scratch by myself sometimes, but I know that it will be worth it

For me, it will be worth it

For you, I'm not sure, depends on your taste tbh

If it's "misery", you're at the right place

I have never been able to create a happy story, no matter how hard I tried to make it happen, so chances are, I'm not gonna suddenly develop the ability to do so

If I can force myself to do so, you might even get some drawings while I'm creating

Probably not, can't bring myself to post my art cause it's not very nice on the eyes

But maybe one day

Just like how one day, I will actually be able to can

I am falling asleep while typing so that's my que to shut up

[goldenguillotines]

Oh my... Kiwako... rather paranoid of you. You may call it "cautious" but that's not what it is. And very fuckin disrespectful towards your friends, not gonna lie.

You're acting as if I'm a threat, yeah, that's fine, I don't mind. Doesn't affect my pretty ass at all.

What I'm not okay with is that right now, you're kinda treating your friends, well... either as things you think you own, or as toddlers who are unable to make their own decisions.

Kinda rude, if you ask me.

That being said. I will do whatever the fuck I want. //blows a lil kiss

And I'll let you in on a little secret: I could have helped. I know things. A whole fucking lot of them. I could have answered pretty much all of your questions, eased your worries, told you the truth about lies you've been fed, etcetera...

You played yourself with all of your unwarranted hostility. I didn't do anything bad to you or your friends, yet you treat me like shit sooooooo... You'll not get anything from me, love.

Well... not unless you apologized. I tend to be nice like that, but I know you won't. Not until it's too late, and then you'll only have yourself to blame. It will be a spectacle to behold, I'm sure.~

Knowing you, however, you'll spout some angry, jealous nonsense at me now to try and rile me up. And I suggest you don't. I'm still on your good side right now... it's in your best interest to not make me change my mind.

"Can y𖤓u b𖤓th quit it? I.. I'm right here.."

"I.. Uh.. Think y𖤓ure b𖤓th b-being ridicul𖤓us.."

"And I. Uh.. Think y𖤓u have a l𖤓t 𖤓f Audacity right n𖤓w shin... and I really d𖤓n't appreciate it. Y𖤓u can be upset w-with what he says. But d𖤓n't pretend like y𖤓uve g𖤓t s𖤓me p𖤓wer 𖤓ver him.. 𖤓-𖤓r me. Because n𖤓 matter h𖤓w y𖤓u spin it.. y-y𖤓ure messing with s𖤓me𖤓ne wh𖤓 means a l𖤓t t𖤓 me."

"D𖤓n't get it twisted either.. y𖤓u were intenti𖤓nally p-pr𖤓v𖤓king them. Y-Yes. Kiwak𖤓 was being rude b-but y𖤓u d𖤓nt have the right t𖤓 claim it as jeal𖤓usy.. Especially when y𖤓ure a stranger."

"And if y𖤓u want t𖤓 act s𖤓 self imp𖤓rtant 𖤓r p-play higher p𖤓wer- y𖤓u can get 𖤓ut. Take all y𖤓ur n𖤓nsense elsewhere.. because if this is h𖤓w y𖤓u handle a situati𖤓n with my friend.. I am uninterested in being friendly with y𖤓u... and I can't even blame Kiwak𖤓 f𖤓r having the feeling 𖤓f n𖤓t trusting y𖤓u ar𖤓und 𖤓thers. Makes me curi𖤓us and w𖤓rried this is h𖤓w y𖤓u'd treat pe𖤓ple cl𖤓se t𖤓 us.."

"B-But I d𖤓 agree.. Kiwa, y𖤓u were being unreas𖤓nable.. I-I'm n𖤓t g𖤓ing t𖤓 spill that all 𖤓ut.. I kn𖤓w y𖤓ure aware 𖤓f it t𖤓𖤓. I kn𖤓w y𖤓ure w𖤓rried.. and I'm sure having faces c𖤓me and g𖤓 isn't easy but I am n𖤓t g𖤓ing t𖤓 crumble.."

->He sighs.. and pinches the bridge of his nose..

"𖤓r is this s𖤓me h𖤓rrid attempt 𖤓f spades between y𖤓u that im mediating?"

"R-Regardless."

"Either y𖤓u b𖤓th ap𖤓l𖤓gize. 𖤓r get 𖤓ut."

"I'm n𖤓t entertaining this."

->You can see it.. Kiwakos fins droop and he looks a bit kicked.. but you can't miss how it seems to get a lot fucking hotter around Travix. Luckily.. you have some space from him.. but you're sure you'd be nursing a nice burn

[cyganir]

a letter to you, you poor naive fool

My dearest reader,

Works every time.

You’re probably a bit confused, probably feeling a little sick too, but allow me to explain. The Helper is not my true name, it’s only what people call me. My true name is power. My true name is control. My true name is agency. My true name is freedom. My true name is something I can never let anyone know, for if they knew they knew, then they would be able to take parts of these things from me. My true name is something I can never give away, not like you did, for if someone took it away they would take the power, control, agency, and freedom that it grants me. If you hold someone’s power, control, agency, and freedom over them, well, there’s any number of things you could do to them. They’d be helpless to it. 

Don’t worry child, I’m not a monster. I won’t be too cruel to you. Other fae would do horrible things to a nameless like you, but I promise I’m not like that. That and well, even if I was, whatever the hell you gave me wasn’t actually your true name. You only thought it was. Still good enough for taking everything away from you, but not so good for someone who wants to control you. You’re nameless in a special way, you haven’t yet had your true name stripped from you, you don’t even know what it is to begin with. 

All this being said, however, I am bound to my word. You gave what you truly believed to be your true name, and therefore I will help guide you towards the way out. However, we run into an issue once I tell you that you can only cross the border back to your realm if you have your true name. The veils between this world and yours are unstable, they move constantly and unless you have something strong to use as a focus you cannot make it back out. The veil welcomes you, it draws you in and takes you, but it will not let go of you so easily. The strength of your true name allows you to cross, if you can find yours then you’ll be able to return. 

Finding your true name is a task I’ve only seen a few times before, I’ve mostly heard about it second hand. Not a single person I’ve seen or heard of has found it the same way. Some were already on the verge of finding it, they had little trouble once they realized what they gave me wasn’t it. Some found it through their own meditation, some through dedication to something they’re passionate about, most find it through their relationships with other people. The specifics of all of these are dependent on the person, but in general these are how they go about finding it. 

This is the most guidance I’ll be able to give, for now. I don’t know the method that will be best for you to find your true name, only the ones I’m aware of that have worked. Once you’ve found your true name then I can show you the veils, but with them moving so often it would be pointless while you can’t cross. I’ll be watching over you on your journey, and when you’re finally ready, I’ll leave you another note like this one. 

Nameless like you are rare to see, it’s not often I get to watch the journey you’re about to embark on. It’s a special treat, because watching whatever you’re about to go through is far more entertaining than whatever small amounts of dread I could put you through to get back the name you gave me. I cannot wait to watch, I hope it’s as much fun for you as it’s going to be for me.

Signed

The Helper. [this is a follow up to the previous letter from a ttrpg i’m writing called Nameless, theoretically it will be done within the next month.]

[ddarker-dreams]

Scamper. Yan Kazuha x Reader

Warnings: Yandere themes, unhealthy relationships, very brief implied not SFW.  Word count: 1.1k. Note: my first time writing a one-shot for kazuha! i had a bit of difficulty characterizing him since he’s so... Chill, but i gave it my best shot. 

“So you were here then.”

You freeze where you stand and spot a tuft of white hair in your peripheral vision.

He walks as if he’s on a cloud, not so much as breaking the twigs beneath his feet, each footstep eerily silent. The waterskin in your grasp almost falls into the river from how lax your hands have gone. You catch his shadow as it approaches, enveloping your kneeling over form. Kazuha has not bothered to reach for his blade. There’s no sense of bloodlust, or tangible emotion of any kind, really, and that somehow serves to stir more dread inside your gut.

Is running even worth the energy it’d exert? He’s made clear to you that your best efforts are eclipsed by his natural senses tenfold. There’s no corner of this land where you could run, no nook or cranny too concealed for his keen eyes and ears. You’re certain he hears how your breath hitches in anticipation. For a moment, you entertain the absurd thought that the beat of your heart was audible to him as well.

If he told you he could hear it, you’d be inclined to believe him.

“You’re injured,” Kazuha points out, leaning by your side to run his fingertips over your forearm. “Here, allow me.”

Kazuha has always been a unique case in the time you’ve known him.

As children, he boasted this particular aura, as if he was wise beyond his years. He didn’t revel in his vast knowledge or flaunt it for all to see and admire. Instead, anyone who spoke to him was just bound to pick up on it, the prudent edge to his words and dutifulness apparent. This may have earned the respect of adults, but other kids his age found his company too stifling. That is, all save for you.

You admired his serene personality. It wouldn’t have been a stretch to say you looked up to him, at one point, in what feels like lifetimes ago. Whatever respect that he had accumulated with you was systematically chipped away at by reality.

Would you not have currently been on the run if you ignored him like the other children your age did? This pitiful attempt could barely be labeled an escape, so you neglect to use the word entirely. Right from the beginning, you could never make any meaningful progress, not when he possessed those supernatural abilities. Nature was a scroll to him, unraveled with ease and every letter read to paint a picture of his and your surroundings.

Maybe that’s why this act of defiance hadn’t earned his ire. He never viewed it as a threat to begin with.

You flinch, forcing your arm free from his admittedly genteel grasp, and muster a venomous glare. “Don’t touch me!”

“It could get infected,” he reasons, to which you purse your lips. The audacity of him to treat you like a sensitive doll, rather than a victim, sends searing revulsion down your throat. “I… am aware that you’re upset, yet that doesn’t mean—”  

That unintentionally callous comment is enough to tip you over the edge. You act before your brain can catch up, a flurry of movements cascading at once. The back of your hand connects with his face, which still doesn’t provoke so much as a slight reaction, the only indication that you did what you did being the redness on his cheek.

Then you wait. For him to blow up at you, curse you for your perceived disrespect, for any inclination that a human soul was residing beneath his flesh. That would further cement you were in the right. You crave the vindication like a dehydrated man in the desert longs for water, searching for an outcome that will never be reality. 

Kazuha would always allow you to act out to a certain point.

For a while, you’d lie awake at night beneath a blanket of twinkling stars, both of you bare after an unwanted tryst. Why is it you were kept on such a loose leash? You’d seen Kazuha’s superior combat ability too many times to count, whether it was cutting down bandits who threatened you or honing his ability at the early hours of the morning. It wasn’t like you’d be able to put up much of a fight if he one day decided you were more trouble than you were worth.

So why…? Why did he still play house with you, like you were a willing participant, offering a cruel illusion of autonomy?

“I hate you.”

There’s a hint of something in his crimson eyes, yet it’s a haunting apparition that disappears in a wisp. The rushing of the stream in front of you, the call of birds fluttering from tree limb to the next, the wind rustling nearby fauna and your hair in the process. So many sounds, each indicative of the nature Kazuha so dearly adores. It makes you nauseous. That in a landscape that stretches into eternity, you can’t find an ounce of freedom.

Not as long as he’s around, anyway.

“We should get back to camp. It’ll be easier for me to treat you there.”

For someone who hears so well, it’s like the ability ceases to exist when you speak words he doesn’t care for.

“It’s not like you’d leave me alone if I asked,” you stand, wiping your still damp palms on your shirt. He mimics your action and rises to his full height as well. Judging from the position of the sun in the sky, you give a rough guess that it’d been three hours since you “slipped” through his fingers. Your intuition tells you that he was on your trail the entire time. Maybe waiting for you to wear yourself out, or maybe wanting to prove a point by stalking you from afar. Who’s to say for certain with this enigma of a man.

“Is it so wrong for me to care about the wellbeing of the one I love?” Kazuha asks, finally speaking to you rather than at you for the first time in this confrontation. The nostrils of your nose flare, and for a second, you entertain the thought of attacking him again. You dismiss the idea after glancing at his sheathed sword. If you were to use your full strength, he’d have no choice but to restrain you, and that’s a humiliation you weren’t willing to endure today.

He grabs ahold of your drooping sleeve and tugs you along. The intimate act reminds you of when you were younger, when the days didn’t have a bitter tinge to them, and when you gazed at Kazuha in awe rather than in disgust. It must be a subconscious gesture on his behalf, a way to pretend things were as they used to be.

You can only pray that one day, he’ll awaken from his delusion, and recognize you’ll never reciprocate an ounce of the affection he claims to hold for you.