#i didnt realize the scene was running away from me and Long until i counted at midnight

[bigcats-birds-and-books]

y'all i probably should NOT have stayed at my writing desk til 1:30 this AM (on a SCHOOL NIGHT, NO LESS), but!!! i had a lot of fun with my scene and now it's DONE!!

[blonde-in-charge]

Wildcard, Chapter Three

Words: 2.6k

Summary: Steve Rogers found you on the side of the road after a mission involving Hydra and convinced the Avengers to take you in. You have no name, no memories, and no idea of what you are capable of. All you know is that you are a super soldier with more hidden abilities than you care to admit. The first step to finding answers was to train you. Nobody, including you, knows what is up your sleeve.

Characters: Bucky x reader, Steve Rogers, Natasha Romanoff, Tony Stark, Random Hydra guy, Sam Wilson

Warnings:  Mentions of blood/violence, brief unwanted touching, Cursing, Fluffy!Bucky, Flirting

Words: 2.6k

The table underneath you was frozen from the amount of stress you had been under. They just kept injecting things into you, hoping to get some kind of reaction from your body. You had stopped feeling the pain of the needle and experiments weeks ago, which just made everything worse for you in the long run. They were getting annoyed with the fact you had stopped reacting to whatever painful serum they had injected you with that day and it resulted in beating to get a reaction from you. You stared up at the cracked ceiling of your concrete room and counted each crack for the millionth time. You kept yourself company in your mind, getting lost in your thoughts to pass the time until your next beating. You shivered at the cold beneath you, the last serum made ice bleed from every one of your pores. You heard the shrill sound of the old iron door open from the side of the room, you didnt turn your head to see whoever came in anymore, they were all the same type of evil. 

“Your wounds have healed very quickly, you are replicating the progress of our last soldier.” said the thick voice. You hated to think someone else had gone through this hell before you had. You wondered if they escaped or died before they moved onto you. 

You felt a burn in the back of your throat, “What's on the menu today doc? Electro-therapy? Waterboarding? New superhuman power that causes injury to one of your minions?” The one fond memory in your head of this place, being your body set itself on fire as well as one of the more hostile minions of Hydra. You smirked fondly at the memory as the hydra doctor worked his way around you observing the healing process. Every wound that opened on your body disappeared within a couple of hours, which is apparently what they wanted. 

“Nothing on the menu today, we are going to start to prepare you for the memory wipe.” Was all the man said and you felt your heart jump into your throat as the man chuckled, “You will do great things for us, American Girl.” You started pulling at your restraints for the first time in weeks, trying to fight your way off of the table once again. The man gave you a sickening chuckle while watching you struggle and you glared at him. He reached up to run a dirty hand slowly up your leg, “Such a pretty girl, such a shame you must-” He ended his sentence abruptly as you lit your body on fire, burning the man's flesh. You grinned at him as your body started to fizzle out. He held his burnt hand to his body and looked at you with rage, “You stupid slut.” 

You continued to grin as he left the room, feeling somewhat accomplished. Your smile slowly faded as you thought back on the memories they would take from you. Y/N Y/L/N, you were a successful accountant in one of the most successful banks in Manhattan. You lived alone, you haven't spoken to your family since you lost your father. Your mom became an alcoholic after his death, the only thing you really regretted was leaving your little sister, Macy, behind. Your job would have already replaced you by now, and people would have stopped looking for you. You stopped fighting for an escape because you knew you had nothing to go back to. 

-

You woke up slowly to the sound of soft snoring, your body tensed up, wondering who was in your bed. Then you realized this wasn't your bed when you looked up into the face of the sleeping soldier. Your body instantly relaxed as you lay your head back on his chest. His right arm was slung over your waist and his metal arm was holding your forearm against his stomach gently. You closed your eyes, replaying the events of the night before in your head. Hydra had come back for you, but for what reason? Then your eyes snapped open and you looked up at Bucky gently shaking him. He opened his eyes slowly and looked down at you, obviously confused about why he was holding you. Realization dawned on him and his eyes filled with concern, “You okay?” 

“Y/L/N.” Was all you said to him as you continued to stare into his steel eyes.

“Who is that?” He asked, raising his eyebrow.

“I remembered my last name.” You said softly to him, “I remember my life before I was taken.”

He sat up quickly and looked into your eyes, “You remember now?” You nodded your head at him, unsure whether you should smile or cry. “Y/N, that's amazing.”

You looked away from him and sat back, “Is it?” you replied solemnly.

“Why wouldn't it be?” He tilted his head slightly, trying to read your thoughts. The sound of the door sliding open cut off your response as Steve came in. Steve stopped in the doorway and examined the scene in front of him. You were sitting to the side of Bucky, wearing his shirt with no pants on, with your legs strung across his thighs. Bucky had his metal hand resting against your calf and was leaning back against the headboard behind him. Bucky’s face turned a dark pink as he realized the situation before taking his hand off of your leg. You remained unphased as you looked over at Steve. 

Steve watched you both and cleared his throat, “The safe house is all set up, can you both be ready by 0300?” You nodded at Steve, who glanced back at Bucky before leaving the room.

You both sat in silence for a moment before you crawled over bucky to the other side of the bed, his eyes perked up as he watched you unmoving, “Where are you going?”

“I have to pack my bag, don’t I?” You stood up and raised your arms above your head to stretch out your back. 

Bucky started to climb out of the bed himself before he stood next to you, “I’ll go with you.” You laughed softly and chose to not object to his company. He followed you down the hallway to your room and you stopped in the doorway to survey the damage. Your bed hung off the side of the bed frame as if the mattress had been thrown. The drawers in your dresser were all thrown open and all of the clothes were spread around the room on the floor. You sighed quietly and started picking up articles of clothing. You searched around for the SHIELD duffle bag you had before shoving clothes into it. Bucky’s eyes raked across the room, he walked towards the bed and adjusted it to its correct position before picking up shirts and folding them neatly into the bed. You smiled slightly to yourself as you found a pair of leggings on the ground and started pulling them on and up over your thighs. You struggled slightly and then looked up to see Bucky staring at you. 

He stilled, realizing he had been caught and looked down at the tee shirt in his hands, “Sorry, guess I got distracted.”

You laughed softly and patted him on the arm, “It's okay Buck, it's not like I don't stare at you sometimes.” You were unashamed of the confession. Sometimes while training you'll watch Bucky in the gym and sometimes, if you're lucky, you'll be able to see him lift his shirt up to wipe the sweat off his face. You would never apologize for that.

Bucky looked utterly confused as you packed the last of your things and zipped up your bag, throwing it over your shoulder. He stood up with you and looked down at you. You weren't a short person, you were taller than most girls but still shorter than all of the male avengers so you barely had to crane your neck up at him. His steel blue eyes looked so much lighter in the moment. You turned away from him and started walking towards the door, looking back at him. “Ready?” You asked him, raising an eyebrow.

  “Yeah, go meet with Steve, let me grab my bag.” You nodded at Bucky as you walked into the living area, ignoring the shattered glass on the floor you followed the voices to the kitchen.

“So she just hopped up on this man's shoulders and took him down like that?” Sam snapped his fingers together to get the point across, “Did Natatsha teach her that?”

Tony shook his head and bit the fingernail of his thumb, replaying the 30 second hallway footage from the night before, “Natasha hasn't moved past the basics of fighting with her, we have been focusing on figuring out what she can do power wise.” Steve stood silently with the three, his arms crossed watching the looped video. 

Sam shook his head at the screen, “This chick is a total wildcard.”

You dropped your bag on the ground behind them making them all turn around quickly. You stared at the projection in front of you, you barely recognized yourself. You have never been able to put Sam on his ass in the ring and now you're swinging your body weight around on some random guy? The temperature dropped a couple of degrees in the room as a result of your anxiety. The three men stared at you as you took a step back, you made eye contact with Steve, “Y/L/N.”

Steve looked confused, “What? Who’s name is that?”

“Mine.” You said quietly, “My name is Y/N Y/L/N. I had a dream about it. I know my name.”

-

You sat at the table along with Steve and Sam. You were staring off at a wall while shoveling cereal into your mouth. You had only been at the tower for about two weeks now and had a good routine with the two men in front of you. You still didn't have a name. You have been going by kid, kiddo, chick, and rescue. You have been searching your brain for a hint of what your name would be. You tried making up names but none of them suited you the way you wanted it to. You listened to the two men bicker over different work out strategies. You stared off at the wall and thought about how you planned on changing your hair color to maybe platinum blonde. You reached out to grab your glass off the table and grunted when it wouldn't budge. You looked up at the two men staring at you with wide eyes before following their gaze to your hand. The liquid in the glass was frozen solid and the glass stuck to the table in a block. You removed your hand and looked at your palm, which was tinted blue, “Well that's new.” 

Sam tapped on your frozen glass, “Holy shit, Elsa.” You rolled your eyes and rubbed your hands together trying to maintain heat.

Steve watched you, “Has this ever happened before?”

You shook your head and reached out to grab your glass again. Your strength became too much and the frozen glass shattered in your hand. You remained still as Sam hopped up from the table. 

“Jesus fucking christ, kid.” Sam started picking up the larger pieces of glass

“Language.” Steve went into the other room to retrieve a handheld vacuum 

You looked down at your hand and saw little cuts leaking blood in the palm, today just wasn't your day. You stood up from the table and walked over to the sink, running your hand under the water. You were getting really sick of this superpower thing. You have broken so many things so far due to the super strength you can’t control. You sighed as you watched the small cuts on your hand knit themselves back together, you would never get used to that. On the brightside, it didn't hurt. You have not felt the pain of anything you have broken or ran into, the only pain you ever felt was the headache that never went away. You dried your hand off and ran your fingers through your hair.

“Sorry guys… Still getting used to,” You held up your hands, “this.” 

Steve smiled knowingly, “It's okay, kid. I remember when I received my serum, it took a minute to adjust.”  

You gave him a small smile, “Why do you guys keep calling me kid?”

Sam and Steve looked at each other. Sam was the one who spoke first, “You don't really have a name right now.”

“Oh it's Y/N.” You shrugged at the guys and returned to your seat at the table as they stared at you. 

“Did that just come to you?” Steve asked while looking at your seated figure, “It kind of suits you.”

“I think it's my name? It just came to me at the sink and its the only name that doesnt make me want to kill myself.” You smiled as the two men started chuckling at you. 

“I think I will stick to ridiculous nicknames if you don't mind.” Sam said, smiling at you and ruffling your hair. 

-

Tony wasted no time typing your name into the database to pull up a missing persons profile. A photo was pulled up onto the hologram screen and you silently stared at it. It was you, well at least a version of you. You looked so young, your face was effortlessly smooth with a light layer of makeup, and your mouth was pulled in an easy grin. Your hair was pulled back in a sleek low ponytail and you were wearing a white collared shirt with a blazer layered over it. You started into your eyes on the projection, it felt like looking at someone else. 

“You were an accountant? That's boring.” Sam started while eye the photo of you

Tony scanned the photo and then started typing something into the projection. An article pulled up next to the photo, “Y/N Y/L/N, missing for two years, stopped coming into work and her apartment was empty… blah blah blah.” 

“Tony.” Steve warned, coming to put a hand on your shoulder. You looked back at him before shaking off his hand and picking up your bag.

“We should go, right?” You ignored the look Steve gave you before you walked to Bucky’s room, knocking on the mangled door

Bucky met you at the threshold of the door, sensing your discomfort, “You okay, doll?” He raised an eyebrow at you

You raised your own eyebrow, “Doll?” Heat rushed to Bucky's cheeks and you smirked at him, “Grab your bag Buck, it's time to go.” You winked at him and turned away to walk to the elevator door. You rested your nag on the ground as you waited for Steve and Bucky to join you. You leaned back against the wall and sighed loudly, your headache returning.

The two men walked together side by side to meet up with you. Steve pressed the elevator button and debriefed you both about the agents who would escort you to the safe house. You and Bucky both nodded in understanding before stepping onto the elevator. Steve made eye contact with you before the doors completely shut.

“Be safe, kiddo.” You smiled at his words as the doors shut completely.  

[silversatoru]

the thin line between hope and despair

yelena x gn! reader

synopsis: you’re in love with yelena, and she feels nothing for for you. constant hook-ups and faded morals = very messy feelings

tags/warnings: nsfw, some smut?, angst, unrequited love, one-sided feelings, fuck buddies

word count: 2.5k

a/n: for my my sweet bby girl @brandmeyelena <3

Yelena knows what she’s doing with you isn’t right — on so many fucking levels. Taking advantage of your utter desperation for her over and over again when she knows damn well that she couldn’t care less about you. It wasn’t fair, especially for you, but she just couldn’t really find it in herself to feel sorry for someone so pitiful. You were so willing to devote yourself to her in exchange for mere crumbs of her affection, and it was pathetic. You left a sour taste in her mouth, a taste of sorrow and complete wretchedness, but you were also the perfect distraction. The perfect relief from all of her stress and all of her responsibilities with the volunteers. She was tired, and you were just so damn desperate to make her feel better — so how could she refuse? The answer was simple, she couldn’t.

That exact thought process is what landed her here today, with her fingers around your throat and your eyes rolled back into your head. She knows you love it too, being used like this — the way your cheeks grow flushed and your eyes get foggy when she cuts off the circulation to your brain. But she doesn’t do it for you — Yelena enjoys these things just as much as you do, her power hungry ego being fervently stroked by dominating you like this. Pinning you underneath of her and giving you orders made her feel in control — and that was perfect, because god knows she isn’t in control of anything else in her life right now.

Get down, she’d hiss at you, pointing to the floor with her long, slender index finger. Your pathetic frame would sink to your knees instantly, wordlessly doting to her every command. She’d lean back on her shoulders, her hips propped on the edge of the bed, and give you an expectant look. You know what to do. Do it, her voice would snarl, her empty eyes swirling with hunger. You’d feverishly obey, launching yourself forward and graciously opening your mouth for her pussy. You were dedicated to your craft, taking your time and ensuring that your tongue consumed every inch of her. Yelena’s head would fall back and, raspy, wet noises gurgled from her throat. She was entirely consumed by this twisted bliss — and she was a horrible monster for letting you do these things to her, but she felt far too good to care.

So now here you were, your tongue buried deep inside her while you worked desperately to make her feel better. She was quieter than usual today — the only things to leave her lips were small groans and half-assed insults. Things like the occasional “faster” while she pulled your hair, or “stupid slut” when you weren’t doing things quite right. The slander only made you work harder however, and honestly anything that came out of the blonde woman’s mouth was music to your ears. You stared up at her with rose-colored glasses, living in a delusional world where you truly believed Yelena cared about you.

It was a dreadfully fucked up dynamic — this relationship the two of you had, if it could even be called that. One of you lived in a terrible fantasy of what could be and the other was practically incapable of feeling human emotions. It was truly only a matter of time before the world started burning around the two of you.

A very short matter of time.

Yelena was spasming underneath of you now, warm juices and shaky convulsions racking through her body and into your mouth. You drove your tongue deep against her contracting walls, your eyes squeezed shut. A disgustingly sticky mixture of her fluids and your own saliva dripped down your chin as you finally pulled away, a bitter taste hanging on your tongue.

And Yelena was always quick to leave, she never stuck around any longer than she had to. She came, she came, and then she’d pull shitty excuses out of her ass as to why she needed to leave so soon. Those reasons more often than not consisted of one person — Zeke Yeager. Whether or not there was something romantic between the two, or if she was just highly devoted to him, you could never tell. You weren’t even sure if you wanted to know, honestly, because the answer might just break your heart.

Why don’t you stay tonight, Lena? You looked over at her as she pulled her trousers up her long, gangly legs. You craved something deeper with her, something more than just occasional casual sex — but it was really too bad that she didnt reciprocate those feelings at all. Sorry, there's a meeting tonight. I have to go. She’d respond, her voice dull as she carelessly brushed you off and slipped on her boots.

Will Zeke be there? Your voice always got low when you talked about him, but you made intentional efforts to hide the jealousy in your tone. Of course he’ll be there, he is the leader, she’d state dully as if this was obvious, and maybe it was, but it still made your chest ache.

You spend a lot of time with him lately, even outside of meetings, you’d state your observations out loud for the first time. Confrontation wasn’t something you enjoyed, and you certainly weren’t any good at explaining your feelings either. But your heart was starting to nag you lately, and you needed to voice your opinions before it was too late.

We’re preparing for a war, her eyes grew incredibly narrow, try not to make such selfish accusations right now. The words were like daggers of guilt stabbing between your ribs. Yelena had a way with words — a shiny silver tongue that always made you believe what she said without a doubt. You started to believe that you were being selfish — after all the war was very real and Yelena was very involved, that's probably all it was.

You’re right, I’m sorry. I just wish you were around more. Your voice was much quieter now, shame and remorse churning in your stomach -- maybe you would have been better off not saying anything at all.

We’re busy. You have to understand where I’m coming from here. It’s hard for me to make time right now, she’d continue to spew nonsense into your impressionable ears. She didn’t like that you were starting to question her, not at all. She’d say whatever you needed to hear to keep you around at this point — she didn’t plan on losing her little fuck-toy anytime soon. If you needed a little affection to keep you complacent, then she’d just need to put on a little show for you.

Come here, I’m sorry, her tone grew softer, but not at all sincere. You helplessly sunk into her spindly arms, and she pulled you tight to her chest. Just hold on until after the war, okay? Once we make the world a better place, we can do whatever you want.

More false hope, false promises, and false reassurance. The war would be brutal, you’d probably die at some point in a terrible event of collateral damage. You’d die and then Yelena would never need to fulfil her empty promises -- it was that easy, and you’d never know the difference.

That sounds nice, you’d smile, your heart warming at the idea of living in a free world with Yelena by your side. You fell ignorantly for her words, missing every single warning sign and every single red flag. Maybe if you’d noticed the subtle darkness in her eyes, the strain in her tone, or the way she hugged you a little too roughly, you could have saved yourself from the ensuing heartbreak. Or maybe if you had realized that with you being a scout and her being a follower of Zeke, it was unlikely that the two of you would ever work out. But you stupidly refused to consider any of these things, and it was going to cost you your heart.

That fateful memory was a few months ago, and now the both of you were in Marley, anxiously waiting for Eren’s plan to unfold. You were partnered with your friend Connie, his lips twisting into a thin line as the two of you hid in the shadows on top of an industrial building. You were incredibly capable with your 3dm gear, and even more capable with the new gun technology, but you were practically useless with your head in its current state. You watched the streets with fervent eyes, dashing them up and down nearby alleyways and hoping for any sign of Yelena. The attack hadn’t even started yet, but not knowing her whereabouts made you incredibly uneasy. She was probably wherever Zeke was, of course, but you liked to think that wherever she was, she was worried about you too.

Yelena was hiding in plain sight, dressed in a traditional Marleyan Army uniform with fake facial hair wrapped around her chin. She did as she was ordered, trapping two of the titan shifters in a large hole and then retreating back to her position. She was focused solely on her task, and on Zeke and how she could ensure his safety, and honestly, the thought of you hadn’t crossed her mind once tonight.

When Eren’s attack came, it came suddenly and violently -- and it was like nothing you’ve ever seen before, or at least not since the colossal and armored titans attacked so many years ago. Before you could even take in the horrifying scene in front of you, Connie was grabbing your hand and ushering you to run, the two of you taking off with your 3dm gear. You couldn’t stop your eyes from wandering as your body swung through the air, frantically searching the streets for the tall, blonde woman who owned your heart. But maybe you should have paid less attention to finding her, and more attention to where you were going.

Connie’s shrill scream shook you to your core, and at first you didn’t even notice the array of guns pointed right at the two of you. A group of Marleyan soldiers were lined up atop a building, every single nozzle of their firearms preparing to shoot at you and Connie. Your friend shot his gear downwards, swooping underneath the scope of the guns and shouting at you to follow him. And you tried, you really did, but you were horribly distracted and accidentally shot your gear into the very edge of a building. The hook crumbled the corner of the building and was unable to secure itself, sending you hurling to the ground beneath you. Your breath was wiped clean from your chest as you smacked against the ground, dust and dirt filling your lungs. Connie was forced to swing up onto a higher building, narrowly avoiding the bullets and unable to come down after you. Your bones ached as you peeled yourself off the ground, looking up just to see pieces of rubble hurling towards you. What the FUCK, Eren? You silently cursed out that irresponsible titan boy, scrambling to avoid the giant chunks of building that were quickly getting closer.

You thought you’d made it, your heart beat gushing in your ears as you launched yourself towards another building, only to be knocked back down by a slab of broken concrete. Pained yelps squeezed out from your throat as your body fell helplessly back to the ground. This fall did a number on you, your ears ringing and your head pounding with a dull pain. The large piece of rubble had crashed into one of your legs, rendering your leg immobile and absolutely crushing your gear. Connie couldn’t help you, not when saving you guaranteed his own demise — you needed to do this on your own, unless-

“Yelena!” You called out to the towering woman who was stumbling towards you. Her arm was wrapped around an injured Zeke, and she was working hard to carry him to safety. Levi must have rocked his shit again, you’d have to thank him for that if you made it out of this alive.

Yelena stopped momentarily when she saw your mangled leg, but not even an ounce of concern crossed her determined face. She looked you up and down, and then glanced down at Zeke as if she was weighing her options.

“I’m sorry,” She shot you a horribly unsypathetic look, dragging her gaze away from you and hurrying off with the injured blonde boy.

It was so simple, so short, and there wasn't the smallest hint of remorse in her voice. Your brain couldn’t process how easy it was for her to leave you there, your mouth hanging open in a small “o”. You would give your life for Yelena, and she didn’t even blink when you were faced with certain death — and that’s when it all started to set in. The delusional facade that you’d imagined between the two of you was shattering, small pieces of glass memories crashing and crumbling around you. The cruel owner of your pitiful heart felt nothing for you, and it had taken this long for you to finally realize.

All of the days and nights the two of you spent entangled in each other's arms had meant nothing. All of the time you spent with your lips locked against hers and her large hands caressing your body had been devoid of anything more than lust for her. Terrible embarrassment washed up inside of you as you recalled all of the sinful things you did for this cold-hearted, unfeeling woman.

Your motivation to fight was gone, your eyes locked onto Yelena’s tall figure as she ran further away and out of view. She’d picked Zeke over you again, she always did, and she always would. She practically worshiped him, like he was some kind of fucked up, twisted god. You weren’t sure why you ever thought you could compete with that.

In the midst of your complete breakdown, a firm arm wrapped around your waist and pulled you into the air. Connie had come back for you, cold air stinging your face as the two of you shot up to the safety of a tall, nearby building.

“Fuck, y/n, stop being so careless! And I hope you’ll finally give up on that lanky bitch after she walked right past you like that,” he let out an exasperated breath, slumping behind a large brick wall.

“Sorry… thank you,” you mumbled, “You really shouldn’t have risked your life like that”.

“No, but that’s what people are supposed to do when they care about each other. Is it finally sinking in, that she's been using you for the past year? I tried to tell you so many time-,” He continued to ramble on in frustration.

Every one of his words poured salt into your already burning wounds, tears beginning to leak from your eyes. Yelena didn’t care about you, she never did — she’d never even sacrificed time for you, never mind compromising her or Zeke’s safety for you. And you were stupidly ignorant to ever think that she saw you as more than a toy she used to pass the time.

[ifmywishescametrue]

WAIT I DIDNT KNOW YOU SHIPPED SAMTONY TOO!!! another oneeee #13 "I saw you looking at it last time we were in the store together, so I got it for you." for samtony

samtony is a very pure ship 😌 thank you for sending a prompt, and I hope you like it!

It starts on a perfectly average Tuesday morning.

“Why do I do this to myself?” Sam pants out, folding himself in half with his hands on his knees. “Every damn time I say it's the last time, and every damn time here we are again.”

Bucky claps a hand on his back and almost knocks him over with one touch. “Maybe you're a masochist, Sammy.”

Sam feebly flips him off, walking off the elevator on jelly legs. “I told you not to call me that.”

“You let Tony call you that,” Bucky points out, following him towards the kitchen.

"I actually like him. We're friends."

“That's offensive. I'm literally your best friend. Your favorite person. The Abbott to your Costello. The Tom to your Jerry. The Lucy to your Ethel.”

Sam snorts, “You're not even my favorite hundred year old man in this building. Also, if anyone’s the Lucy here, it’s me.”

Bucky scoffs, but whatever retort he had coming cuts off when they enter the kitchen. “Oh, damn, are those banana pancakes?”

He reaches for one on the top of the stack, and Tony slaps his hand away with the spatula. “Where are your manners, Barnes?”

“You’ve got like ten there,” Bucky whines. “Why can’t I have one?”

“You can have one when it’s your turn.”

Bucky gives him a dramatic pout that has no effect, and Sam laughs at the scene as he collapses into the stool next to Nat at the peninsula. She gives him a raised eyebrow and a quirked lip at the complete lack of grace.

Tony flits through the kitchen, exchanging lighthearted quips with Bucky as he goes. He has on an apron that Clint gave him at Christmas last year, covered in snowflakes and purple hearts with arrows through them in a mimicry of an ugly Christmas sweater pattern. Underneath it is a t-shirt dotted with Captain America shields, and the sweatpants have a cartoon version of the War Machine suit on the thigh. As usual, all of the colors clash.

A mug of coffee is placed in front of Sam with a small smile before Tony returns to the stove, and Sam is still drinking the first sip when he comes back with a plate of pancakes for him, topped with just the right amount of syrup and a dollop of whipped cream. Tony’s gone again before he can even finish saying thank you.

“Why is it his turn before me?” Bucky complains, and Sam laughs again through his first mouthful at how petulant he sounds.

“I like him the best,” Tony says, sending a wink Sam’s way. “And they’re for him, anyway. Your favorite, right?”

Sam’s eyes widen a bit in surprise. He doesn’t remember telling him that. “Uh, yeah, they are. How’d you know that?”

Tony shrugs, “I pay attention.”

He hands Bucky a plate of pancakes with another jab at his lack of patience, and the moment passes as quickly as it came, but it keeps happening after that.

Tony pays attention to him.

Maybe it was happening all along, before that morning with the pancakes, but just too subtle for Sam to take notice at first. Now that he has, though, he sees it all the time.

The next is just a few days later, when Tony knocks on his door holding a small, nondescript black box.

“What’s this for?” Sam asks, taking it from Tony’s hand. He doesn’t get an answer before he opens the lid to a simple, leather-banded watch. It’s nothing overtly expensive, nothing that screams ‘gift from a billionaire,’ but it is exactly something Sam would have chosen for himself.

“I saw you looking at it last time we were in the store together, so I got it for you,” Tony says simply. “Figured it would go well with that suit Pepper picked for you for the gala tomorrow night.”

Later, Sam will realize that Pepper had nothing to do with the suit choice that fit him perfectly, but for now he runs a thumb over the dark brown leather and says, “Yeah, it will. Thanks, Tony.”

“No problem,” Tony replies, and he lingers in the doorway for a while longer, lower lip between his teeth. Sam is about to ask if there was something else he came here for when Tony claps his hands together and says, “Well, I should get going. Workshop things to do and all that. I’ll see you at dinner.”

He disappears quickly, and that becomes part of it, too. Never dwelling on it when he does something just for Sam. Fleeing if he can, but sometimes staying when that’s what Sam needs instead.

“You look exhausted,” Tony says, and Sam manages a grumble from where he’s slumped on the living room couch, rubbing a hand over his bruised abdomen.

The mission took longer than either him or Bucky expected, and the fights were more intense. It was supposed to be a quick in-and-out type of deal. Infiltrate the base, take out the lower level minions, and apprehend the leaders. But the intel wasn’t as accurate as they were hoping, and there were nearly double the number of enemies than predicted. No major injuries for either of them, but he’ll be sore for at least a few days. Bucky’s cuts and bruises healed on the way home.

Sam doesn’t notice that Tony left until he comes back with ice wrapped in a kitchen towel. He places the ice right on the worst spot over his ribs, holding it there until Sam replaces his hand with his own.

“It’s getting pretty late,” Tony remarks. “You should probably head up to bed. You’ll feel even worse if you fall asleep here, trust me on that one.”

It’s somewhere past midnight, Sam knows, but even with how tired his body is, his mind is still wide awake. The mission replays in his mind. Every faulty move, every chance to do better, every little detail both good and bad.

Sam shakes his head, “Not ready for bed yet.”

Tony takes the seat next to him, leaving an inch of space between them. “J, turn on the Saints game from yesterday.”

Sam smiles a little and asks, “Do you even like football?”

“It’s not the worst sport,” Tony replies vaguely. He settles back into the cushions and pulls the blanket off the back of the couch to cover them both.

“Yeah, what’s the best?”

Completely serious, Tony says, “Ping pong.”

Sam laughs, “That’s not a real sport. Pick something else.”

“Of course it’s real. It’s in the Olympics and everything,” Tony grins. “Give me one good reason it’s not a sport.”

“Alright, fine, maybe it’s real, but there’s no way it’s your favorite.”

Tony shrugs, “It’s entertaining sometimes. The professionals get really into it. There’s an awful lot of grunting involved.”

They stay up for a while longer, talking about nothing of importance, and Tony slowly shifts closer to him until that bit of distance is gone. His arm presses up against him, and Sam starts to have a hard time keeping his eyes open, it seems only natural to rest his head against Tony’s shoulder.

“You can go to bed,” Sam murmurs. “You don’t have to stay here with me.”

“I don’t mind,” Tony whispers back.

Sam does regret it a bit when he wakes up on the couch in the morning with a sore back, but there’s a fresh mug of coffee already waiting for him on the table, still warm and exactly how he likes it, and he smiles to himself anyway. That night is a shift to something different, and he knows it right away.

He starts to pay more attention to Tony’s interactions with everyone else, just in case he’s part of the rule and not the exception. Generosity is one of Tony’s best traits, but even so it tends to extend even further to him. More personal and frequent.

“So there’s this place in Brooklyn that claims to have the most authentic cajun cuisine outside of New Orleans. Want to come with me? Tell me if it’s true?”

It isn’t true, and Tony comes to him the next day with another one, until they’re on a quest together to find one that doesn’t make Sam miss home after just one bite. It takes them all over the city and into Jersey once or twice, and Sam doesn’t point out that Tony doesn’t even seem to like crawfish, no matter where it comes from. He doesn’t want it to be over if he does.

“This is pretty close,” Sam says. He thinks it might be place number eleven, but he lost count a while back. “Could use a little more spice, but at least they didn’t try to add their own spin to it.”

Tony’s watery eyes widen. “This isn’t spicy enough for you?”

Sam grins and shakes his head. “Remind me to bring you with me the next time I go home. You won’t know what hit you.”

Tony’s face does something complicated at that, before it settles on a soft smile. “Yeah, that would be fun.”

Sam fully gets it then, what exactly it all means, but he doesn’t quite know what he wants to do about it yet. Tony has taken up residence in a place in his heart that he wasn’t sure was capable of opening up anymore. He did it so easily, sneaking in like a thief in the night and catching Sam unaware.

Now the sound of Tony’s laugh makes his stomach flip. He seeks it out, telling him stupid stories and jokes to make it happen more. He stares a little too much to catch glimpses of his smile, and now he can see just how often Tony looks back.

It isn’t subtle anymore, this thing between them. Lingering looks, too long touches, and every quiet gesture all build up. Bucky teases him and Natasha gives him knowing looks. Steve tells him that he hopes they make each other happy, and Sam doesn’t tell him that nothing has happened between them like that. They’re still just friends, and they don’t talk about what any of it means.

“Do you want to see a movie with me tonight? There’s that weird one with the killer robots playing downtown,” Sam suggests, and neither of them say anything when Tony slips his hand into his in the darkness of the theater. It goes unmentioned, too, when Sam holds tight after Tony almost lets go when they reach the sidewalk afterwards.

It’s another late night when the last piece finally falls into place.

Sam is nursing bruised ribs again after another mission that turned a little sideways through no one’s fault. He’s still sweaty, dirt under his fingernails and dried blood caked around a shallow cut on his cheek, but Sam still asks JARVIS in the elevator to take him to wherever Tony is. It isn’t as surprising as it should be that Tony is waiting for him on the edge of Sam’s bed.

He stands there patiently while Tony looks him over, and he looks his fill in return. It’s strange how days away from him feel longer now. His balance is off center until Tony is around to set him right again.

“I missed you,” Sam murmurs, and Tony smiles softly.

“You were only gone a couple of days,” he points out, but Sam knows now that it’s his way of saying that he missed him just as much.

Normally, Sam would let it move on from here. Tony would lead him into the bathroom, gently clean up his scrapes, and click his tongue at every bruise. It would end with them on the couch, Sam’s head in Tony’s lap or vice versa, depending on what mood it takes. Sometimes he wants to hold Tony and remember that he survived another fight so he could come home to this, and sometimes he needs to be held to forget about everything else that was lost along the way.

But tonight he reaches out to grasp Tony’s hip, and he draws him in a little closer. The room is dimly lit, and each shadow on Tony’s face is accentuated. Sam can’t remember quite the first time he looked at him and thought the word ‘beautiful,’ but it’s all he’s thinking now.

“You love me,” Sam says. “For a long time now, right?”

Tony nods, and he wraps his arms around Sam’s waist, careful not to hold too tight. “You caught up eventually. Didn’t take as long as I thought it would.”

Sam smiles, cupping Tony’s face in one palm and stroking his thumb across his cheekbone. “How long were you expecting?”

“Maybe never,” Tony admits. “I would’ve kept trying, though.”

“Stay with me tonight?” Sam asks, because nothing more needs to be said for now. They both already know.

“How about every night?”

Sam leans in slowly, murmuring against his lips, “Sounds like a plan.”

[suckjasmins]

The love story Part 1

A/n soo im rewriting this story lol i just felt like i could do better so yeah and sorry for being gone for so long (if anyone noticed) i didnt and still dont have wifi, I only have it when my sister is home and she works lol so it will take time for me to post

edit: guess who has wifi bitches!!?? this bitch right here!!

Pairings: Bakugou x Reader

Word count: 2069 (nice) words

Warnings: none lol

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Only the sound of the rain and the thunder was the only thing anyone heard. It was one of the few days where it rained and usually would be celebrated. Living in the desert like place, only heat and blinding sun was regular. A rainy day was like a blue moon, and everyone, celebrated it. The kids would play in it, the young adults would party in it, the elders would simply stand in it and converse with one another. Music and laughter would be the only thing anyone heard. This day was the opposite however, and the reason for it? More than half of the village was gone, they were on a hunting trip that should only lasted for a few weeks. It had been a few months now, and everyone was beginning to lose their hope of the hunting group returning. The only ones left were, children and elders and a few adults that had stayed for different reasons.

You were one of the adults that stayed, your reason was that you fell sick right before leaving. It was then decided that it was too dangerous for you to leave the village. It took all of your friends to convince you to stay. And let's say you were furious that you had stayed, especially now that the group were now gone. But you were not the only one who's heart were filled with rage and sorrow.

The warriors and the dragons had left to hunt the orcs who had dangerously been inching in close to the village. The whole village thought that if they could get rid of the orcs now. All would be safer, and the orcs didn't have the recourses to go to war now, so why wait until the orcs can?

You sat on the floor at the opening of the tent. Watching the puddle, you thought about how hot it still was when it was raining. You thought about your friends, and what you would be doing if they were here. You probably would be dancing and partying in the rain. And nobody would be able to hear the siren over the music, unlike right now when it was going off. The siren that only was used to important things, to signal when a new season started or when someone returned home-

When someone was returning home after war or after a long time...

You looked up, towards the mountains and right there, in the middle of the mountains. A group of people were walking towards the village. They were too far away to be able to see who they were, but everyone knew. It was them.. Getting up, you started to run towards to the group of people, standing and watching them. You pushed your way to the front and your vision started to blur from tears. Even though it was still raining, even though it was still dark from all the clouds. It felt like the sun was shining, like the rain now was a sweet reminder of the parties that usually held place here.

The group were closer now, and you could clearly see how hurt they all were. The few dragons by the humans was transformed to their human shapes. Almost everyone were limping, and helping each. other to walk. Finally you could not hold yourself back and you broke out of the crowd. A few kids following you, you made you way to the group. The first person you saw were Mina, your long time best friend. And by her side were Eijiro, one of his wings were bandaged.

"Mina! Eijiro!" you screamed out as you neared them. You stopped a step from them and you went to hug them when you realized that that wouldn't be the best.

"Are you guys ok..? Is it ok if I hug you or..?" you fidgeted around, only you three stood there, everyone walking around you.

Mina chuckled and leaned forward, hugging you. You hugged back, squeezing her hard until she slightly winced. It felt like you hugged each other for hours, rambling about different things. Like how much you missed each other.

"Hey.. when is it my turn for a hug?" Eijiro whined behind Mina, crossing his arms and playfully pouted.

"Now's your turn" you let go of Mina and turned to him. "Come here big guy" you squeezed him just like Mina. You two also stood forever and rambled about things. Just like when you were younger, he always felt like home. You also would stand there forever if Mina hadn't interrupted the two of you.

"The Bakugous is about to start their speech, let's get over there, then can you two continue your hugging party." she nodded towards the scene where Mitsuki Bakugou, the village leader, or queen, was about to start her speech. Walking towards her, you blended into the crowd already there. Mitsuki Bakugou stood in the middle of the scene, her husband, Masaru Bakugou stood slightly behind her, a supporting hand on her shoulder. On her other side stood Katsuki Bakugou with his usual scowl on his face. Mitsuki exchanged a few words with Masaru before turning her attention forward.

"Everyone... We'er finally back from the hunting trip that were only supposed to last a few weeks. It was hard but I'm glad to tell you the exiting news. When we arrived to the last sighting of orcs, we saw that there were a few who had made camp there. We fought them off our land and got information on where the main camp was. When we arrived, we were shocked to say the at least. There were a lot more than we thought there were going to be. We had to make camp and discuss our new battle plans. But then we were ready, and we fought. And... even though it was a big possibility that we would lose a few soldiers... WE LOST NONE!" a big cheer broke out and people started to almost party right there and then. Mitsuki with only her hand silenced and calmed down the crowd. "We fought bravely, many of us were hurt and are going to be treated shortly after this speech. We have now gotten rid of the orcs that harmed and threatened our land. And luckily... the mating season has not started yet. It will begin in a 2 short weeks along with spring. I feel like this year is extra special, and we will treat it like it. Now just a few words from my husband and from my soon then you can continue to reunite with your close and loved ones" she finished her speech and stepped to the side. Her husband and her switching their places. He cleared his throat and started with his speech.

"Even though my wife has said almost everything there is to say, I have a few words. I want to say thank you, for every brave soul that followed us to fight the evil. It is only with their help that we could defeat the enemy without losing one of our own. And for anyone wondering... the harvest has been good this year. And along with the animals we hunted on our way back. We have more than enough food to relax without the need to hunt. We will celebrate the beginning of spring with a feast so big it will last for days!" he laughed and the crowd cheered again. The thought of being able to properly relax and the thought of food, making everyone happy. Mitsuki then pushed her son, Katsuki, to the front. It was then you noticed his arm were wrapped and hung around his neck. It was clearly broken, you looked around and noticed a lot of people had broken something. But thankfully Mina or Eijiro hadn't broken anything. Eijiro was only bleeding from his wing but otherwise was okay.

"I would like to say... It was brave of everyone to follow on this trip, to risk their life for each other. And now we can celebrate it" his words were short and you could hear how he didn't mean any of that. Or maybe he did but was too tired to say it. Everyone clapped and Mitsuki clapped Katsukis shoulder. She whispered something to him and he scowled. The Bakugou family left the stage and almost the whole crowd turned to the direction of the medical tent. You walked with Mina, Eijiro had left to find Katsuki Bakugou, his dear friend.

"So Mina, are you excited about the mating season?" you asked her, as you walked together.

"Ah... I don't know actually... I mean Eijiro competed for me last year and well, I don't know if he's going to do it again" she answered, she stared ahead at nothing. You got a brilliant idea, almost like a lightbulb went off in your head.

"Why don't you compete for him? I mean it's tradition that couples compete every year and imagine how happy he would be!" your eyes shined as you awaited for her answer.

"Omg... Y/n I love you!" she grabbed your shoulders and shook you back and fort before hugging you. "And it can be a surprise too!" you laughed along with her.

"I'm really happy for you, you know? I don't think your or Eijiro could fins a better match" you smiled warmly while Mina gave you a cute pout.

"That's so sweet... I have to do something for you now!" she gasped and pulled you with her. "What if... I help you find someone to compete for you or someone for you to compete for?!"

"Ah... Mina, there isn't really anyone I'm interested in.." you sighed, you never really thought about dating or anything like that. But it wasn't the first time someone told you to get a date.

"I know I know... but if there's someone who would be a great match for you? It would be Bakugou!" she almost yelled out, which resulted in you covering her mouth with your hand.

"Shush! You can't just yell that!" you shushed her, she only giggled in response. "And.. Bakugou..?" you slightly blushed.

"Yes yes! I was with him a lot during this trip and you'er perfect for each other!"

"But I don't really know him? Like at all?" that was a lie, you did know Bakugou. Or at least you knew him when you were younger. You and Bakugou were thick as thieves when you were children.

It was only after he started to really bully Midoryia that you had told him to stop. Before that you would also tease Midoryia, call him Deku and laugh along with Bakugou. When you became 5 you got close with Midoryia, and started to be his friend too. And at the same time Bakugou only bothered Midroyia more. You would try to protect Midoryia but would always run after Bakugou, laughing and playing with him. Until you stayed, and told Bakugou to stop. It was the first time you were deadly serious and Bakugou only let out a tch before leaving. After that day Bakugou started to ignore you, and would bully Midoryia as much as you could.

But now, you had grown up and you pretended that you didn't know Bakugou. Like you never talked to him at all. A lot of the elders knew of your friendship, but never discussed it. The people your age didn't know, mostly because they weren't there when you were younger. It was like your friendship with Bakugou was in an another life time.

When you and Mina arrived at the tent, you saw a long line of people waiting. You let out a sigh and turned to her. You scanned her up and down and tilted your head. She wasn't really hurt, only scrapes and dirt on her skin. She didn't limp or act like anything hurt.

"Mina, are you hurt? Or why are we here?" you asked, not knowing what her answer would be.

"Oh not really... But I have a nasty cut on my back that need to be cleaned" she shrugged, and turned to stand in line. You lit up.

"That's great!" you exclaimed, before wincing. "I don't mean it's great you have a cut but I have stuff at my place. I could patch you up there!" you smiled.

"Oh really? Great! Let's go" she turned swiftly around, already heading to your tent.

[travellingarmy]

║Ningguang║Inspiration

From Wattpad.

Gender-neutral.

Fluff.

Word count: 1.9k

---

She looked so beautiful sitting in the midst of those glaze lilies, a smile on her lips and eyes gentle with a soft glow from the sunlight as she looked at the flowers. She plucks a glaze lily and brought it up to her nose, pushing a strand of her long hair behind her ears.

At that moment, it felt as if the rest of the world stopped. Your eyes glimmered and your face dusted with a light pink. To you, she was a goddess under that one beautiful and bright day and hope that you could get to see more of her in the future.

You see, you were a travelling painter and writer who is inspired by anything and everything around you. Travelling all across Teyvat, anybody would thought that you would have already met that eureka moment at its highest peak but no, you didn't- not until your travel to Liyue, that is.

Liyue, like all regions of Teyvat, had a unique style that distinguishes itself from others: the aesthetic of buildings, the aromatic dishes, its culture, yearly festivals-- you name it. It draws many and all sorts of people- either for work or for fun and you were there for the latter.

The bustling of crowds and the bright lights of the city at night have you that peaceful yet lively atmosphere that made you look at everything in awe. There was simply too much things one could write about and many places surrounding Liyue to paint, but none of them really sparked that motivation.

It was only when you took a walk outside of Liyue, that you found your spark. In the field full of glaze lilies, there was a woman, alone, in Liyue esque clothing. She had hair that was white as the snow in Dragonspine and eyes that was the colour of a phoenix and full of love and life. Your heart pounded against your chest like never before. She was alluring.

You took a step closer but the sound of grass bring crumpled upon made her alert and her reaction to the sound was faster than a normal person, like she was a warrior on full alert. "Who are you?" she asks sternly and her soft gaze became sharp as soon as her eyes landed on you.

"Oh, um, sorry to alert you," you started, "I was just passing by when I saw you and um.." You didn't say what you were thinking- her looking beautiful- to save yourself from embarrassment and from the- what would have been- suspicious gaze on you.

"Oh, is that so?" she says and starts to inspect you from head to toe, taking every little details of you. "Hm, it doesn't look like you're from Liyue. Are you an adventurer?"

"Ah, you can say that.." You scratch the back of your head shyly. "I'm travelling across Teyvat for inspiration." The lady hums, bringing her fingers on her chin. "So, I'm assuming you're here for inspiration?" she clarifies herself and you nod. A smile forms on her lips. "Not a lot come by this place as there are many monsters and that there are glaze lilies that can already be found within the city."

She then stood up and turns her full body to you. "Then, I shall be leaving so I can give you the scenery to help inspire you," she says and bows politely, excusing herself from your sight. You watched as her figure disappears from your sight, returning to the city. When you turned around, the scenery before you felt different. It felt sort of lonely and empty without the lady who basked in the sunlight and that spark suddenly died as soon as your eyes landed on it.

You decided to call it a day out in the wilderness and return back to the safety of the city, but not before seeing something glimmer in the midst of flowers under the sun's light. You walked closer and see a jewelry just sitting there and you presumed that it was the lady's so you picked it up, but since she was far gone, you can't hope to catch up to her, so you just hope that you two will meet again.

On the next day, you found Luhua Pool and decided to paint the scenery. It was very beautiful indeed so you sat there and painted away. As you were painting, you couldn't help but let your mind wander to the lady from yesterday.

She was a local which means you would see her somewhere in the city. However, she didn't look like a simple worker of the local stores or restaurants which meant that you can't simply walk into buildings and expect her to be there.

You still remember of the jewelry that you found and rummage your satchel for it. It was kept well inside a small box that you bought not soon after returning to the city. You suddenly pictured the white-haired female, alone, in that field of flowers, looking so beautiful that it took your breath away.

Subconsciously, you picked up a new canvas and paintbrush and spent that day painting the scene from yesterday with the best of your memories. The field itself was pretty, but it was her that made it even more so beautiful than it already was. When you were finished, the sun was already setting in the horizon. You took a step back to look at your work and praised it. It was your favourite and the one where you put so much care and effort into. If only the lady was there to see it.

You packed your belongings inside your satchel and made your way down the mountain you were on. You felt that the sun was setting rather quickly because the moon and a couple of stars were already dusting the now dark sky and you were nowhere near the city.

Not being a vision user, it kind of sucked that you have to fear of hilichurls suddenly appearing before you. The thought alone made you clutch the strap of your satchel and began frantically looking around.

Then- to your dread- you see a bunch of hilichurls in the distance. Some were sleeping while others were awake and on guard; there was even a mitachurl which just made the whole thing much worse than it already is. You can make your way around the camp so that's what you did, not knowing there there was a sleeping hilichurl in the direction you were heading. It woke up and set the alarm for the others as well.

"Oh, for the love of..!" You gripped tightly on your satchel and made a run for it. Through the years of travelling, your legs gotten quite used to long travels, as well as running away from encountered hilichurls. It was something not worth bragging since it's for survival.

You looked back and see that a hilichurl with a fire bat-like weapon sped up than the rest. In a panic, you sprinted faster, but since you weren't looking forward, you didnt see the conveniently placed log.

You tripped over it and ended up scratching your chin from the impact. You turn your body and see that they the samachurls was no more than a metre away, ready to swing its axe. Closing your eyes, you expected for the worst.

When ten seconds passed and the strike didn't come, you open one eye and then both to see some sort of barrier in front of you. "Are you alright?" Upon hearing the voice, you looked over your shoulders and see the white-haired female of whom you just painted of not too long ago.

Not waiting for an answer, she casted little rocks that was strong enough to wipe all of the hilichurls out of sight and returned back to you, kneeling down to inspect your injuries. "You're lucky that I was on my way back to the city and found you," she states. "Archon forbids what might have happened to you if I were not around."

She gets up on her feet again and stretches out a hand for you to grab. "Come on, I'll treat your wounds at my place." You didn't think it through as you hastily accepted the offered hand and followed her back inside the city.

She lead you up a couple of stairs and to your shocking news, up to the Jade Chamber that you had heard so many praises about. "Um, excuse me, but isn't this place off limits for common folks?" you ask, your eyes darting across the place with a mix of uneasiness and excitement. "It is, usually, but since you are injured, I've made an exception."

The words caught you by surprise and stare at the back of the female who rummage through shelves and drawers, looking for the things she needed. "Wait, so, are you Lady Ningguang, the Tianquan of the Liyue Qixing!?" you exclaim. She hums, a small smile tugging her lips. "I see you're well informed of Liyue. Yes, I am and this is my home," she answers. Once she found the thing she wanted- which was a medical kit- she walks to where you were sitting and places the kit on the table beside you.

"This will sting so I apologise beforehand," she said and took out a cotton, dabbing some kind of ointment on it. She gently cups your face with her free hand and tilts it upwards before placing the cotton on the bottom of your chin.

She wasn't lying when it would sting and you hissed at the sudden stinging pain you felt. She apologises again before doing it a couple more times. "There, that should heal up in no time," she says as soon as she pulls away.

You watched her quietly from your seat, mesmerized by the sight of her as she cleans up. "Beautiful." Before you could comprehend what came out from underneath your breath, Ningguang heard it and looks at you with a baffled look. "I beg your pardon?"

You realized what you said and shook your head hastily. "A, ah, did I say that out loud?" you ask, more to yourself. I-it's just that.. Um, I really think you're beautiful, Lady Ningguang and I hope that we could meet more often.." You scratched your cheek, averting your gaze from the Tianquan.

There was a brief awkward silence which made you kinda wish that you hadn't said what you said just a few moments ago. Then, "Thank you," she says. You look up and see her smiling. "I.. I do like the thought of knowing someone outside of working matters."

Your eyes glimmered in happiness that soon reached your lips. "R-really? Then, I'm happy," you said and remembered something the slipped your mind. "Oh, right, I was wondering if it would be alright to ask what you were doing out so late?"

"Oh, I was looking for something that I had dropped yesterday. I had thought I dropped it by the fields.." she answers. You knew what that 'something' is and asked, "Are you perhaps looking for a jewelry?" She looks at you with hope in her eyes. "Do you know where it is?"

You nodded and look through your satchel. "I found it lying on the grass and kept it safe, thinking that it was yours," you say in honest and pulled out the box it was kept in before walking towards her, stretching the box towards her. "I'm glad to have stumbled upon you so that I could return it to you."

Ningguang smiles and accepts the box. "Thank you," she says in a gentle tone. "By the way, I haven't gotten your name, have I?" You shook your head. "My name is (Y/N)," you answered.

"Well, (Y/N), I hope we can become great friends," she says to which you happily nod. "Me too."

---

[brelione]

Marvel Movies (Rafe,Topper,Kelce X Reader)

This takes place about a month after this.

Mentions of choking,fighting,Captain America Spoilers,Kelce being a Disney Hoe

Series Masterlist

You could hear the sound of “Lost In The Woods” from frozen two along with the sound of a car door shutting.You grinned,looking outside your window to see Kelce walking up to your front door.He had been obsessed with the sound track since you,Rafe,Topper and him had watched it last weekend.He swung open your door,pointing at you. “DONT YOU KNOW THERES PART OF ME THAT LONGS TO GO INTO THE UNKNOWN!”He sang,swinging his arms to the tune of the song that was now playing from his earbuds.

You smiled,taking out your phone to record him. “Kel,what are you singing?”You giggled,zooming in on his face. “Bitch,you already know!!!”He said it to the same tune,making you bite your lip to hold back a snort as you saved the video to your snap chat memories.He sat down nexto to you on the couch,pulling out his earbuds. “Rafe and Top are late?”He asked.You shrugged,checking the groupchat to check what time Rafe had left his house. “Kind of but like its fine.Its my night anyways.”You reminded him.Kelce nodded,pulling his legs onto the couch and resting them across your lap. “What are we watching?”He asked,looking up to see nickelodeon on the TV.

You smiled,telling him it was a surprise before throwing his legs off you and going into the kitchen to snack prep.He followed you,not wanting to watch nickelodeon. “Hey,do you remember those brownies we ate when we were little?Like the ones with the colorful chocolate things?”You asked,opening a bag of doritos and pouring the chips into a large bowl.His eyebrows furrowed as he thought about it,grabbing a capri sun from your fridge. “Debby Ryan brownies?”He asked.You turned to look at him,the empty chip bag in your hand. “Do you know who Debby Ryan is?”You asked,laughing at him.

The realization hit him,making him laugh too. “The girl from tik tok!The meme one!”He answered.You nodded,throwing the empty red bag away.You grabbed the bag of sharable m and m’s,pouring the colorful candies into a bowl as well before bringing them both into the living room and setting them down on the table.He somehow ended up laying down half on top of you,the back of his head resting on your stomach.You didnt even hear Rafe pull up,the door opening with him standing with a paper bag in his hand.You missed the way his jaw clenched and his eyes narrowed at the sight of Kelce laying on you,he quickly covered it with a smile.

Topper was right behind him,you turned your head to look at the blonde.You immediately burst into laughter upon seeing the pink,purple,yellow and green striped shirt he was wearing. “That’s gotta be the ugliest shirt ive ever seen.”You grinned,running your hand over Kelce’s curly hair.He rolled his eyes,sitting on the floor while Rafe put the paper bag down on the table next to the M and M’s,pulling out the contents.Sour gummy worms,dark chocolate chips,werthers caramels and a can of your favorite soda.He held the can,sitting at the end of the couch by your head so you could rest your head on his lap.He held the cool can to your forehead,knowing that you liked the feeling of the coolness.

You removed your hand from Kelce’s hair,putting on Disney Plus. “OOH-are we watching Winnie the Pooh?”Topper asked.You laughed,shaking your head as you went down to the row of Marvel Movies.Rafe had only ever seen Iron Man 2 so he wasnt very familiar with the films.Kelce preferred DC and Topper just sucked.You eventually came to The First Avenger,pressing on it.You squealed as the movie started,excited to annoy your friends.

 “I have a husband in this one too.”You smiled,remembering your huge Bucky phase in sixth grade that Rafe couldnt quite understand.He had only seen your Winter Soldier hoodie so he didnt really have a good idea of who Bucky actually was besides the fact that you loved 

him.During the scene where Steve received the Serum Topper had sat up,glancing between Steve and Rafe. “Am I the only one that sees a resemblance?”He asked.You sat up slightly,Kelce moving off of you so you could turn and look at Rafe properly.

He blushed,turning his head and looking away so you had to cup his face and get him to look at you.He bit his lip slightly,looking down at you.Topper rolled his eyes,regretting bringing it up in the first place. “Steve is more handsome.”You grinned,returning to your place on his lap.Kelce broke into laughter along with Topper,Rafe just a red mess as you continued watching the TV. “Isnt Spencer your husband?And 10K?”Kelce asked.You nodded,still watching the movie. “I thought Spencer was the love of your life?”He waited for your answer.You rolled your eyes. “I can have multiple loves of my life.”You answered,still watching the movie. “Can you pause this?”Topper asked,looking up at you from the floor.

You paused it,a bit annoyed. “What?”You asked.He opened a bag of sour gummy worms,popping one in his mouth. “How many husbands do you have?”He asked.You bit the inside of your cheek,thinking about it.Spencer Reid,Newt,Draco,Percy Jackson,Jack Frost,Peter Pan,Zuko,Prince Eric,Kristoff,Aladdin,T’Challa,Killmonger,Dallas Winston. “Uh...16.”You answered.Rafe laughed,fingers brushing against his chin as Kelce just looked up at you with wide eyes. “Who?”He asked.You blushed,counting off on your fingers. “Spencer,Newt-”Topper interrupted you. “Who is Newt?”He asked.You glared at him. “Do you not pay attention on Movie Nights?Eight months ago we watched The Maze Runner,the handsome blonde boy with the british accent.”You explained.He tried not to laugh at your passion for the topic.

 “Draco Malfoy,Percy Jackson,Jack Frost-”You were interrupted again,this time by Kelce. “The animated dude?The albino one?”He asked.You sighed,nodding.Rafe’s eyebrows knit together,frowning down at you. “You have a crush on an animated albino?”He asked.You sat up,looking between the boys. “You’re gonna tell me hes not cute as hell?Dont even act like you’re not a simp for Meg,Rafe.You too,Kelce,I saw the way you looked at Elsa when she let her hair down!”You reminded the boy.Topper laughed,forgetting that you knew all his secrets. “Dude,you were in love with Ariel when you were 10!”You exclaimed,making the boy shut up. “Who else?”Rafe asked,still curious. “Um...Peter Pan,Zuko-”You were cut off once again. 

“Birth mark dude from Avatar?”Rafe asked.You huffed loudly,stealing the bag of gummies from Topper and eating one. “ITS A BURN!”You nearly shouted. “You have such terrible taste in men.”Topper rolled his eyes.You glared at him,biting hard on your lip. “Get out.”You told him.He bit back a smile,looking up at you. “What?”He laughed.You pouted. “Go stand in the rain for two minutes.”You told him.He shook his head until you got off the couch,grabbing his hand and dragging him to the door. “You’re being mean so you have to stand in the rain.”You told him,opening the door.

He blushed,stepping outside and into the rain.He would never do this for anyone else but the smile on your face was worth it.Rafe looked outside the window,recording Topper standing in a T pose as water drenched his ugly shirt and hair.Once the two minutes was up you opened the door again,letting the wet boy come inside.He smirked before hugging you tightly,getting you completely wet. “TOPPER!”You shouted,pulling off your wet t shirt. “Dammit.”You huffed,pulling off your wet shorts and leaving yourself in just your bra and underwear. Dancing in bikinis multiple times so it wasn't that big of a deal but you didn't notice their wandering eyes. You turned to walk upstairs to change into new into new pants while top or just stood a blushing mess. 

At this point you'd forgotten about the movie and you were more focused on annoying your friends.Topper  knew better than to sit on your couch in wet clothes but unfortunately he hadn't brought a new pair to change into. So when you return downstairs in a tank top and pajama bottoms you saw topper in just his boxers sitting on your couch watching the movie.You went to sit on the couch,being pulled into Topper’s lap.When the scene of Bucky falling off the train came along Kelce had become attached,standing up to shout at the tv while you started crying a bit,Topper kissing your forehead lightly. “WHERES THE NEXT ONE?”Kelce asked.You grinned,grabbing the remote and moving on to Winter Soldier. 

“Theres like a ton of movies between these two but like we can watch those eventually.”You shrugged,ending up wedged between Rafe and Topper,Rafe’s fingers twisting your hair and tracing figure eights along the back of your neck. “On your left!”You spoke at the same time as Sam,grinning.Kelce grinned. “So thats why you always say that!”He put the puzzle pieces together.When Nat pulled up you saw the way Topper’s jaw dropped,you smiled. “I know,right?Shes like really fucking pretty.”You grinned,head against Rafe’s chest.Topper had began to doze off when Bucky came on with his metal arm,waking up fully again when he heard you whisper “He could literally choke me with his metal arm.”under your breath.He burst out laughing for a reason that Rafe nor Kelce could understand,plotting to use it against you in the future.

Somehow Topper had managed to fall asleep against your leg while Rafe had gotten you onto his lap,your head in the crook of his neck as you watched Steve get the living shit beat out of him.Kelce was on the edge of his seat,completely invested in the story. “Can we watch the next one?”He asked.You smiled,pleased with his excitement. “Tomorrow morning,okay?”You asked.He huffed but nodded,grabbing the blanket he usually used.Rafe pulled a blanket over the two of you,allowing you to sleep on top of him.The four of you must’ve slept in pretty late,waking up to your 1 P.M alarm that told you to take your daily vitamins.You groaned,attempting to move but being held by Rafe.

You yawned,seeing Topper in his deep,drooling double-chin sleep.You flicked Rafe across the head so he’d wake up,the brunette waking with a grumble. “Rafe,you gotta let go.”You smiled,kissing his nose tiredly.He grinned,letting you off his lap.You shook Kelce’s shoulder as you walked by,your shorts riding up.Kelce got up with a groan,the blanket rolling around his body like a burrito as he stumbled into the kitchen.You got yourself a glass of water,putting your four vitamin pills into your palm.He watched as you took them,grinning at you. “Good girl.You want breakfast?”He asked.You shrugged,still tired.Topper walked into the kitchen,wiping his face of drool and carrying the bowl of m and ms.

 “Hey,do you still have those frozen strawberries?”He asked.You nodded,watching as he grabbed the bag of fruit from your freezer along with almond milk,whipper cream,hot fudge and banana. “Where’s Rafe?”Kelce asked,his question being answered by the universe when the Steve Rogers look alike walked in,turning on the keurig.Kelce put some bread in the toaster,taking out the eggs and a frying pan and starting to make some scrambled for Rafe,some fried for you and an m and m omlet for Topper.Speaking of the blonde,he was pouring frozen strawberries,fudge,banana slices and almond milk into the blender,switching it on and dancing to the sounds of the strawberries being crushed.As the eggs began to cook Kelce quickly handed Rafe his mug before grabbing a glass,putting a layer of m and ms and whipped cream at the bottom,adding two spoon fulls of sugar,some milk and mixing it all together until it was a colorful slop,pouring ice in the cup before brewing some italian coffee to top it off.

As it brewed he rushed to flip the eggs,cursing when he realised the edges were burnt.He tossed it onto a plate,sprinkling some italian seasoning on it and taking the toast out of the toaster for you.He grabbed a jar of your favorite jelly,spreading a thin layer on both slices,reaching over Rafe’s head to hand you the plate.You thanked him,ripping the slice of toast in half.Topper turned off the blender,pouring its contents into a glass and making a huge mountain of whipped cream before sitting across from you.You smirked,reaching your fork over to get some whipped cream.He gasped,jaw dropping as he stared at you. “So you’re gonna put me in the rain for two minutes and now youre taking away my whipped cream?Do you wanna fight?”He asked,leaning forward.

You used your fork,knocking over the mountain of whipped cream before getting up and running down the hall.He ran after you,grabbing you by your wrist and pinning you against the wall of the guest room,panting.You two stared at eachother for a while,his bare chest pressed against you.His eyes flicked between your eyes and your lips,leaning down so his forehead was pressed against yours.So much was happening at once,you couldnt even comprehend it.But then from the kitchen you heard an argument starting,Topper letting go of your wrists as they two of you went back to the kitchen. “The third one is the best!” “FUCK YOU IN THE ASS,BITCH!”You walked in,looking between the two boys. 

“What is going on?”You asked.Kelce looked over at you,spatula in hand. “Which Descendants film is better?Two or Three?”He asked.You shook your head,sitting back down to eat your toast. “Fuck-dammit,Topper!You made my toast untoast!”You exclaimed,waving the uncrunchy bread.Kelce frowned,eyes softening. “Do you want me to make you more?”He asked.You shook your head. “No,its fine,Kelce.”You grinned,taking a sip of your coffee.It was sweet and creamy and pretty good,somehow Kelce always made the best coffee no matter what he put in it.Rafe looked between you and Topper,sensing that something had happened in the room.He hoped that Topper wouldnt intentionally hurt him like that,hoping Kelce wouldnt either.A plate of scrambled eggs was put in front of Rafe along with a bottle of barbecue sauce,making you stare at him in disgust. “I cant believe you put barbecue sauce on your eggs.”You shook your head,taking a bite of the toast and getting excited when you heard a crunch. “Oh-hey,dont worry!It didnt untoast”You grinned,enjoying it.

@sexytholland​ @28cnn​  @popcrone818​ @fttayla​ @cherryobx​ @n1ghtsh4d3-67​ @drewstarkeyobx​ @poguestyleskye​ @judayyyw​ @jjtheangel​  @outerbongs​  @copper-boom​ 

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[an-emovision]

Someone to you - Izuku Midoriya

--------------------------------------------------------- A/N: Highkey cringed a little when i was editing this but like its fine i guess, hope you enjoy!  Trigger warning(s): self esteem issues, low self worth(?)(if you’re feeling these things please know you are wonderful and beautiful just the way you are and someone out there loves you and if no one does then i will >:)) --------------------------------------------------------- "Hey! Good morning Y/N!" You looked up from your phone to find Izuku Midoriyas bright smile. as he made his way towards your figure on the couch you returned his smile with your own tired one. "Good morning Izu" You replied, letting out a yawn and stretching your arms out above you. His brilliant green eyes seemed to follow your every movement as he made note of your current appearance. Given that you were still in what seemed to be your pajamas which consisted of an over-sized white shirt and black shorts, not only that but your hair was all askew. He came to the conclusion that you had just woken up which was correct, so his smile softened as he sat next to you, the couch dipping from his sudden weight on the cream colored cushions.  You crossed your legs as you watched him take a seat next to you in the common room of the UA dorms. A sweeter smile gracing your heavenly features as he sat, well at least Izuku thought they were heavenly as he watched your face contort into the smile. His favorite thing about you had always been your smile.  The day ahead seemed easy, It was a beautiful Saturday morning. The sky was clear, not a cloud to be seen. Mina even offered you to come shopping with her, Uraraka, and Tsu which you gladly accepted. So why did you feel so...Sad? Nothing necessarily bad had happened that day, nothing more then the usual. It was the weekend which meant no class, but that didn't mean most of your classmates weren't working to better themselves still. Bakugo was picking fights with Todoroki and Midoriya while Ida tried to break it up as usual. Kirishima having to drag Bakugo away so he could cool off. No one really knew what set him off, no one usually does. So the class simply assumed it was Midoriyas existence (which was correct)  and went about their day. So why did your figure feel especially heavy today? Why did you feel so upset?  "...y/n?....Helloooo Y/N? You okay?" you were snapped out of your thoughts by Mina who had placed a hand on your shoulder and was looking at you with slight worry in her features. Your eyes darted to her golden orbs and gave her a quick nod and a half-assed smile "Yeah! yeah im good!" you let out an embarrassed chuckle as your eyes left Minas and settled on Uraraka and Tsu who were also look at you with slight concern etched into their features. The girls looked at each other for a moment before Mina nodded and continued about her rant about some clothing brand that sold a jacket she really really wanted. The group continued to walk about the mall checking out shops and buying some snacks for your roommates along the way. You still didn't know what was wrong with you, still curious as to why your social stamina wasn't quite up to par today. You were having fun, at least that's what you were telling yourself but in actuality all you wanted was to go home, change into some pajamas and lay in bed for a while. Maybe get lost in your own thoughts while mindlessly scrolling through your social medias.  A soft sigh and relief left you as Tsu suggested that they go back home as it was getting pretty late. You, Uraraka, and Mina nodded in agreement then headed for the UA dorms. On the way there you yet again got lost in your own thoughts as the three girls stopped bothering to try and include you into the conversation. Not in a rude way, they could just tell after a while you weren't really up to the task of participating in any conversation. That didn't stop them from asking if you where okay every once in a while. After stepping into the dorms you all went your separate ways. You headed straight for your bedroom after passing out the snacks you had gotten for your friends, these friends being Midoriya, yaomomo, and Kaminari. Your eyes took in the details your familiar dorm room as you closed the door behind you and set your shopping bags by the door. As promised by yourself you collected your pajamas of choice and changed into them before hopping into bed and cuddling into your warm blankets with a gentle content sigh. You sat up and took your phone from your bedside table, then laid back down and continued to scroll through Instagram. Seeing model after model made you feel a little uneasy, almost self conscious. Well 'almost' it did make you feel self conscious, then seeing all of your beautiful friends pictures. Even Bakugos looked awesome. You felt inferior, like maybe you didnt deserve to be friends with such beautiful and talented people. Each and every one of them had something it didnt matter if it was brains or strength but they all had something. and what did you have? You didnt know. In your eyes everything that's happened to you so far was pure luck.  You felt tears begin to well up in your eyes as you questioned your own self worth. This wasn't the first time you would lay in your bed and sob, questioning what you did to deserve all of the things that you've been blessed with. There were people out there with no homes, no family, no food and here you where living in a fancy dorm, trying to become a hero and graduate from UA. What did you do to deserve anything you had? why not someone who really really needed it. You didn't see how hard you worked to get where you are, you didn't acknowledge that you worked just as hard as anyone else in Class 1-A. It was easy for someone like Midoriya to recognize, he worked his ass off to control his quirk and get into UA. He always admired your problem solving ability and your quirk. Oh man did he love your quirk, hes made multiple pages of notes on your quirk alone, not even counting your hero suits awesomeness. However, he hated that you brushed off all of your accomplishments as someone else's doing, or gave the credit to luck. Some days all he wanted to do was hug you and tell you every amazing detail about yourself. He wishes he could be as cool as you, really he does. It took him a long time to realize that he didn't just admire you, he had fallen in love with you. He was constantly trying to up his game to impress you and cherished the moments where you praised him no matter how often it was. he truly just wanted to be somebody to you. Midoriya had informed Ida of his feelings for you then proceeded to ask for advice, like Ida knew anything about relationships. Midoriya didn't know about your self esteem issues and you'd rather he didn't as not to worry him, but as you laid on your bed, sobbing and hating yourself for being so weak and crying you couldn't think of anyone better to consult. So you picked your phone up again and scrolled through your contacts, rubbing your now puffy and red eyes as you clicked the call button under his name "Broccoli🥦💚" "Hello?" the corner of your lips tugged into a small smile as you heard his sweet voice. then you cleared your throat before speaking. your voice was a bit hoarse from crying. "U-Uh, hi Izu" You could hear his smile as he greeted you. "Hey Y/N!" he greeted, almost as if he hadn’t read the contact name before picking up the phone "Whats up?" "Are you in your room right now?" It felt a bit awkward to ask and to him it seemed like a slightly odd question to ask but nevertheless he answered. "Uh Yeah, why whats up?" You silently thanked whatever god was out there that he didn't notice your voice sounded as messed up as it did. "uh nothing, I just- Uh can i come over?" He nodded even though you couldn't see him then gave you the okay to come over. You hung up after telling him you'll be over in 5 and slid off your bed, slipping on your slippers before making your way towards your bedroom door. Izuku was panicking a little. Had he done something wrong? you two hadn't really spoken that day so he didn't think that was the case necessarily. Maybe Ida told you about him liking you. Multiple scenes of him telling you of Dekus crush and you looking disgusted after played in his head. Dammit Ida he cursed mentally, not really knowing if Ida had told you or not. He practically jumped out of his own skin when he heard a knock at his door, already knowing it was you he strode over and opened it. Expecting to find you smiling as always however, his "Hey!" got cut short and his grin fell when his brilliant green orbs landed on your damp cheeks and your red and puffy eyes. All fear of you knowing about his crush on you left him, it was replaced with worry and it was clear as day on his face. Upon seeing him, the one that picked you up when you fell down, your first friend at UA, the one that made your cheeks heat up and your stomach to do back flips tears began to stream down your cheeks again. You fell into his arms and without hesitation he embraced you tightly, gently shushing you and running his fingers through your hair in an attempt to calm you down. You let out a gentle hiccup as he hooked his arm under the back of your knees and carried you further into his room after gently closing the door with his foot. Placing you on the edge of his bed and sitting next to you his hand rubbed your back up and down as he gently took you into his embrace again. You loved this man, you really really loved him and it wan't until you were burying your face into his shoulder that you realized it. After your sobs died down and your breathing became normal he gingerly pulled away from you before giving you a soft smile and gently brushing a few strands of hair from your face, still rubbing your back at a gentle pace before eventually stopping and resting on your lower back. "Do you wanna tell me whats wrong now?" He let out in a whisper his eyes never leaving yours. "I-I just-" you where cut off by your own sniffle "I don't know what i did to deserve any of this. I don't deserve to be at UA, hell i don't even deserve my quirk." your voice was small, barely a mumble but he was still able to hear it. That doesn't mean he wanted to hear you talk down on yourself, he couldn't believe what he was hearing really. your eyes left his and landed on your lap as you let out your feelings "I dont-...I dont deserve you" "I can't believe you" Midoriya sounded genuinely upset, your eyes found his again only to be met with a disappointed expression. It wasn't at all what you where expecting but...maybe you deserved it.   "How could you say you don't deserve being here when you're one of the most hard working people i've ever met?" Your eyes widened a little, you where going to say how even Mineta works harder then you do but he cut you off before you could "You're absolutely amazing Y/N, having you as a classmate hell even having you as a friend is inspiring. The advice you give to others is amazing, your quirk is awesome, your hero suit is the best one i've ever seen, you could get us out of any situation and-" He was cut off by a pair of soft lips against his. His eyes were saucers and he was stunned, looking at you like a deer in the headlights when you pulled away. Worry settled in your stomach upon seeing his reaction. "I-Im sorry, I shouldn't have done that i just couldn't stop mys-mmph" Now it was his turn to cut you off, with his lips of course. Your eyes where wide for a moment before they gently fluttered closed and you kissed him back. He let out a pleased hum before pulling away to your dismay. The two of you stared at each other for a moment, admiring each others features. His freckle dotted cheeks where now dusted with crimson and so where yours. "I-I didnt know you..." he let out, trailing off at the end of his sentence, you nodded shyly "Y-Yeah I just didnt realize it until a little bit ago." you gave him a sheepish grin as he let out a soft chuckle and nodded. "Yeah i didnt realize it either." then his features became serious and you noticed it, waiting for him to say whatever he was going to say "Seriously, you're amazing. I hate seeing you like this, it breaks my heart" his words left his lips in a mumble as he brought his hand up to caress your cheek. "I know i can't just tell you to stop feeling this way because that's not how feelings work but...I will do my absolute best to help you" he didn't say it out loud, but he was promising this to you. You smiled and nodded, moving to bury your face into his shoulder. He hugged you as he placed his chin on your shoulder, taking in your sweet sent before smiling at the words you let out. "Thank you Izu” 

[ghostsray]

Wes Fucking Dies

[originally i wrote this fic for phandom bingo week (using the prompts Someone dies + Wes Weston + Identity Reveal) but then i spent so long on it that the week ended so uh...here, just take it]

word count: 4,655

____

Skulker had a new toy, and of course, Danny had to find out the hard way. Why couldn't Skulker ever invite him to his lair, show him his gadgets, and say "look, I made a new invention!" instead of using it on him on the field?

He narrowly avoided a missile which hit the floor, missing him by inches. The half-ghost grinned up at Skulker, who was looking down at him from the sky. "Really, Skulker," he chided, "you could have sent a letter instead of missing me so much."

Skulker scowled and aimed another shot at Danny. As cocky as he sounded, Danny could feel his body getting exhausted. He had been dodging Skulker's attacks for the past half hour, and if he kept this up much longer, he might run out of energy and turn back into his human form. Here's to hoping that didn't happen.

He flew away just in time to avoid another missile, and this time, it hit a building behind him. The impact sent debris crumbling down toward...oh shit is that a person?

Danny sprinted toward the citizen and picked him up before the rubble could crush him. He let out a sigh of relief as they both made it out unharmed. Well, until he looked down and saw who he was carrying.

"I could have saved myself, Fenton," Wes Weston grumbled in his arms.

Danny's eye twitched, and he considered dropping Wes right then and there. He had to remind himself that he was supposed to be a hero, and heroes didn't drop citizens out of the sky. So, he waited until they reached the ground before setting the redhead down.

"Wes," he began, "what were you doing standing under that building? You know that areas where ghost fights happen are dangerous to be in."

"You just say that because you don't want anyone to see you," Wes spat back. "I know your energy is depleting. I know you'll transform into a human when it's gone. And I'll get the evidence when you do."

Deep breaths, Danny. After taking a deep inhale then letting it out, the hero glared at Wes and spoke, "I'm serious. I know you're obsessed with exposing me or something, but you really need to stay away or you'll get hurt." He looked down at Wes's hand and saw him holding a camera, so he snatched it from him and added, "I'll take this, thank you very much."

Wes simply reached into his pocket and pulled out another camera. Of course he had a backup. Danny rolled his eyes and, after destroying the camera he took, sprang back into the air. He headed back toward Skulker, but not before shouting to Wes, "Seriously, stay back!"

Danny flew into battle, his fists ablaze with ectoplasm. Ectoblasts were shot from his hands at Skulker, but it seemed that the ghost had built a new shield into his metallic suit because all of them were deflected. Once Danny got too close, the robotic hunter punched him, and the halfa slammed against the concrete wall of a building.

He groaned and peeled himself off the cracked wall. When he looked up, he saw Skulker smirking at him. Danny bit his lip. He knew continuing to fight this way won't work... He had to pull out his emergencies attack.

His eyes made a quick scan across the street, but he wasn't that attentive about it. After all, he had already made sure that everyone left the scene when the brawl started. Hopefully, Wes listened to him and did too. There was no one around but him and Skulker.

He floated down to the road and planted his feet firmly on the asphalt. He faced Skulker, took a deep breath, and let out a bloodcurdling scream. That scream transformed into ectoplasmic energy that tore down everything in its path. Skulker was caught in the attack, his body thrown against a building before he could become intanngible. As the wail died down, Danny swiftly whipped out a thermos and trapped the ghost in.

As soon as the lid was on the thermos, he fell to his knees. The exertion finally reached him, and he felt all the energy being sucked from his body. He let the transformation rings run through him as his body went from ghost to human. The wind blew against his human skin--but not before he heard a click.

He turned around and saw...goddamnit. "Wes?"

Wes lowered the camera from his face to reveal a smug grin. Before Danny could say anything, he turned and sprinted.

Danny tried to get up and cursed when he fell back down. Why did fighting ghosts have to be so draining? He glared as the other boy fled from him--and then his eyes widened.

"Watch out!" Danny shouted.

Wes paused just long enough to look at him. The only problem was that he stopped right under the building Skulker had earlier been slammed against. The building that was severely cracked and about to collapse.

Danny pushed himself to his feet despite his body's complaints. He summoned the last vestiges of ghost energy he had to transform himself into a ghost and kicked into flight. He reached out, going as fast as he could to reach Wes before the rubble could crush him.

He was too late.

The last thing he saw was Wes's green eyes staring into his own before he was buried under the building.

"No!" he screamed. He reached the pile of crushed concrete where Wes once stood. It didnt matter if his body screamed at him to rest; he gathered all his supernatural strength and lifted the rubble out of the way. Wes can't be dead. He can't be. If he moved all this rubble away, then surely he'd find him injured but alive, and then he can take him to a hospital and--

His body froze at the sight he had unburied. If he weren't in ghost form at that moment, he was certain he would have vomited. He clamped a hand over his mouth and sunk to the ground, unable to take his eyes away.

There was no way Wes survived, and Danny didn't need to check his pulse to know. After all, the boy was nothing more than a pie of blood on the ground. Danny's form shook, and he couldnt stop the tears leaking out of his eyes. If only he made sure that Wes had left before he used his wail. If only he didn't make him stop underneath the falling building. If only he hadn't reverted to human before he could save him.

If only, if only. None of that changed what really happened.

Wes was dead. And it was Danny's fault.

____

Walter closed the door behind him as he entered the apartment. It was late at night; he had to stay at work to do some extra accounting. He was about to take off his coat, but an unusual cold that permeated the room made him keep it on.

He thought he heard someone in the living room, and his muscles tensed. "Wes?" he called out. No reply came.

He cautiously stepped into the room, and the person came into view. A glowing person sitting on air. He recognized those white hair and green eyes...wasn't he the ghost Wes was obsessed with?

Something was wrong. The ghost looked terrible, both physically and emotionally. But the physical injuries weren't unusual; he did fight enemies daily, after all. No--what made Walter's blood freeze was the intense grief on the phantom's face, evident in puffy eyebags and glossy eyes. And he was looking directly at Walter.

Before Walter could ask what was wrong, he said in a voice so soft he almost didn't hear him, "Your son died."

It felt like the whole world dropped beneath his feet. "What?" he asked, because he had to have heard that wrong, right?

"Wes died," the ghost repeated, his voice one decibel away from a sob. "I couldn't save him."

This couldn't be real. It had to be a dream. It certainly felt like one.

Phantom gave him one last, sad gaze and said, "I'm sorry." Then he vanished.

For a long moment, Walter stood there, trying to process what has been said to him. Once he did, he scrambled to grab his phone and quickly dialed Wes. The phone rang. No one picked up. He tried again, and again and again. But Wes never answered.

Wes was...

No. It couldn't be true. He didn't want to believe it...but he knew Phantom was telling the truth.

He let the phone slip through his fingers, then he buried his face in his hands and mourned his only family.

____

Everyone was shocked when they learned about Wes's passing. The pain was made more apparent when they went to school and realized just how much difference his absence made. The halls were too quiet, the classrooms too peaceful without Wes's crazy blabbering. No one thought they would miss hearing him ramble about conspiracy theories, but then again, you never know when you'd miss something until after it's gone.

Danny's enhanced senses let him pick up whispers around him, and everywhere he went in the school, people were talking to each other in hushed whispers, asking Is it true? Is that Weston kid really dead?

He wished he could shut his ears and forget all about Wes. But everytime he closed his eyes, he saw Wes's bloody, squashed remains, and he had to swallow down bile that rose in his throat.

"It's not your fault."

Danny opened his eyes to see Tucker standing in front of him. He held a look in his eyes that seemed an awful lot like pity. Danny looked down and clenched his hands into fists. "I could have saved him," he insisted.

"You did what you could," Sam said, walking from behind him to stand next to Tucker. "He was the one who stayed around despite your warnings." She tried to say it with confidence, but Danny heard the falter in her voice. Not even she could accept Wes's death without shock.

Danny was quiet. He closed his eyes, but then that sickening image appeared again, so he opened them and sighed. "I just...need some time alone."

He waited for them to leave. A part of him expected them to stay and argue, but it seemed they could tell that he needed space. Sam reminded him that they were there for him, Tucker agreed and added that he could talk to them whenever, and Danny simply nodded wordlessly until his friends turned and left.

He stood in the hallway, leaning against the lockers, until everyone else was gone and he was alone. No matter how much he told himself to go to class, he felt a weight dragging him down and preventing him from doing anything productive. He just wished he could curl on the floor and stay there until the day was done.

Eventually, though, he managed to get his body to walk. He dragged his feet step after step down the hallway, trying to remember which class he was supposed to attend this hour. He made it past a few lockers when his ghost sense was triggered.

As soon as the mist escaped his mouth, his body tensed, and he whipped around in place, trying to spot whichever ghost he was alerted to. He couldn't find anything. While his eyes scanned the hallway, he suddenly heard a click. He turned around and didn't spot anything unusual at first--but then he looked down and found a polaroid photograph on the floor which wasn't there before.

Danny narrowed his eys. He bent down to pick up the photo and studied it. It was...a picture of him. Caught in the middle of a transformation between ghost and human. He was kneeling on the ground, looking tired and haggard in his ghost form. Two rings of light surrounded his midriff, revealing the human clothes underneath his ghost jumpsuit.

Danny's blood turned to ice. He recognized the background of this photo. It was the same street he fought in yesterday. The same one where Wes--

The lights flickered. Danny's eyes snapped away from the photo. He could sense the ghost nearby.

Danny focused the ectoplasm from his body into his eyes. They lit up green, and the world around him changed colors. Everything was blanketed in shades of teal and purple--the colors he saw as a ghost. There, in the middle of the hallway, he saw the outline of a humanoid specter.

The air left Danny's lungs. He recognized that outline. Paired with the photograph... it had to be him. "Wes?" he called out hesitantly.

The ghost came into view, and now it was unmistakable. Even though the eyes that were staring at him were red instead of green, and the skin green instead of pink, Danny was certain that it was him. He had the same messy hair and wore the same basketball shirt.

It was Wes, back as a ghost.

Danny's heart jump in elation. Wes was back! He had an apology on the tip of his tongue, ready to spill so many things he thought he would never get to say to him. But then he stopped at the sight of Wes's expression. He didn't appear to share the same joy Danny felt.

In fact, his face held what could only be described as rage.

"Phantom," Wes growled. Even though he had the same voice, it made Danny's blood run cold in a way it never had when he was alive. Before the boy could blink, Wes lunged at him.

Danny yelped as he was tackled through a wall. Screams rose around him as they emerged in a filled classroom. He tried to convince himself that he did not hear something crack when Wes slammed him against the teacher's desk.

"Hey, let's talk this out!" Danny wheezed out, holding an arm out placatingly. But Wes was not placated.

The ghost that was once his classmate hovered over Danny with a growl. His eyes were glaringly red, his hair burned like fire, and his entire form shined with angry intensity. His hands curled into fists, and Danny rolled out of the way just in time before Wes sent a punch that smashed the entire table.

Danny pushed himself to his feet, ignoring the wincing pain throughout his human body. Behind him, he could hear the students talking loudly amongst themselves, the words "Wes" and "holy shit" sticking out a lot. Wes didn't seem to pay any attention to them; his eyes were focused on Danny.

"Come on, what do you want from me?" Danny pleaded. "I'm sure I can give it to you without fighting."

Wes paused in the middle of a swing. Honestly, Danny wasn't sure the ghost would listen to him, but he hesitated. Then his mouth split into a grin, revealing fangs that looked out of place on Wes's face. "Then transform," he said.

Danny froze.

He understood, now, why Wes was attacking him. He wanted him to fight back...as a ghost. But in a filled classroom, the others will see his transformation. He could feel their eyes boring into his back.

It made sense. Of course the conspiracy theorist would refuse to pass on just so he could reveal Danny.

He gulped. Well, there was always one option besides fighting...

Danny ran.

But of course, the angry ghost fighting him wouldnt let him escape. Wes grabbed a piece of wood from the broken table and threw it at Danny. His first thought was to turn intangible, but then he remembered about the many humans watching them, and he couldn't dodge fast enough to avoid the sharp splinter from grazing his arm. He gasped and gripped at the wound on his limb.

Cold claws clasped around his neck, and Danny was turned around to face Wes's burning eyes. The ghost's claws dug into his skin, enough to draw blood. Danny couldn't breathe. Wes was squeezing his throat, and Danny could see blackness creep into his vision. The halfa knew he couldn't escape without revealing his ghost powers, but if he didn't, he would die.

Suddenly, there was a thump. Danny's vision cleared just enough for him to see a book bounced off Wes's back. Wes whipped his head around to face...Danny couldn't believe it. Dash was standing behind his desk, an arm outstretched. Who would have thought the jock would help Danny?

As Wes growled, another book was flung at him from a different spot in the room. Danny didn't see who threw it that time, but soon more and more students rose up to protect him. A flurry of books, notebooks, and pencil cases flew across the room...not that any of it hurt Wes, since he simply turned intangible and let the objects fly through. They hit the wall behind him, and quite a few hit Danny, but at least there was one good thing resulting from this: Wes was intangible. Now was Danny's chance to phase his way out without raising questions.

He slipped through Wes's grip while the ghost was distracted. As soon as his feet hit the floor, he ran through the classroom door, ignoring the sting on his arm and his throat. His shoes flew across the floor as he sped down the hallway, his lungs gasping for air. There! The janitor's closet. He jumped inside, closed the door behind him, and swiftly transformed. Black became white, blue became green, and blood became ectoplasm. The pain dulled as soon as he became a ghost, and he felt ready now to take on Wes...at least, he was pretty sure he was. Maybe. Probably?

He still couldn't believe it. Sure, Wes was obsessed with him, but he would never willingly hurt him...but of course, that was before he became a ghost. Ghosts were driven by their obsessions. It didn't matter if anyone got hurt or not as long as their goal was achieved.

He shut his eyes and leaned against a shelf, wincing at the slight pain that shot through his form. It was hard to accept, but it was the truth. Wes was a ghost.

For a while, Danny stood there in the silent darkness, taking deep, steady breaths. His moment of peace was interrupted when his ghost sense was triggered again, causing his eyes to fly open. Wes must be nearby.

He took one more gulp of air and steeled himself, then he pushed himself into a straight position and walked through the door, ready to face his former classmate.

Wes the ghost looked the same as he did a few minutes ago, except for the apparent increase of rage on his expression. He wasn't happy to see Danny in his ghost form. "Why do you always have to hide when you change?" he hissed.

Normally, Danny would have cracked a humorous reply, but today didn't feel like the right time. Instead, he calmly said, "This isn't you, Wes."

The ghost tilted his head. His sharp teeth were bared midway between a smirk and a snarl. "Really? And who else would I be, Mr. Fenton?"

Danny told himself that his hands werent shaking as he continued. "You don't have to do this."

Wes gnashed his teeth, and his eyes burned brighter. "Yes I do," he argued. "You'll never reveal yourself on your own, and I can't give up on something I've died for."

Even though those words weren't news, they stabbed through Danny's core. The images of Wes's death flashed across his eyes again. Wes had died in an effort to expose Danny, and now Danny was the one responsible for the existence of the aggressive ghost before him.

He opened his mouth to say something, but no words came out. What was there to say? Wes had a point.

He heard murmurs and turned his head to see several students peeking out of their classrooms, ignoring their education in favor of their curiosity. This was far from the first time Phantom had fought a ghost in their school, but it was the first time that ghost was of someone they knew.

When he turned back to Wes, he didn't like the grin on the ghost's face at the sight of so many onlookers.

This time, Danny was prepared when Wes attacked. He called up a shield before the ghost's claws could scratch him. Wes didn't relent, and he continued to attack Danny from different angles.

Danny knew that this small hallway was not appropriate for a ghost fight. He also knew that Wes was only fighting him because of the onlookers surrounding them. He had to take the fight somewhere else.

As soon as the opportunity arose, Danny let down his shield just long enough to grab Wes, and he yanked them both through the floor. They landed in an empty cafeteria, where Wes promptly broke away from Danny's grip.

Wes hissed at him, clearly unhappy. Apparently, the ghost decided to take out his anger in the form of violence, because he began to shoot red ectoplasm at Danny. The room lit up with bursts of color as the ghosts exchanged attacks...okay, so maybe "exchanged" wasn't an entirely accurate description. Because no matter how much Wes fought him, Danny stayed on the defensive.

It was stupid, but he couldn't get himself to hurt his opponent back. Not when it was someone he knew in life.

He wasn't sure how long he spent blocking and dodging, but soon enough, the halfa was getting tired. His breaths came out in short puffs. Breathing automatically in ghost form...that wasn't a good sign. He paused for a second to lean against his knees--and that was long enough for Wes to make his move.

He blinked, and suddenly Wes was tackling them through a wall. Students and staff jumped out of the way as Danny was thrown against a row of lockers. So they were back in the hallway, and this time it was even fuller when everyone was going to their next class. (In the back of Danny's brain, he absently noted that he had missed another class. Mr. Lancer would not be happy.)

He barely finished that thought when Wes suddenly appeared in front of him. Before Danny knew what was happening, the ghost had plunged his claws into his chest.

It hurt. Pain flared from his chest and throughout his entire body. It felt like Wes was squeezing his very core. Danny couldn't help it--he screamed. He was paralyzed with pain, and Wes appeared to be enjoying it.

"Let him go!" someone shouted, and Danny blinked through the tears in his eyes to see Sam pushing her way in front of the crowd to face Wes. Wes turned his glaring eyes at her with a snarl. He straightened up and let his scarlet eyes flash with intensity, daring Sam to take another step. The girl kept her back straight, but it was apparent from how pale her face became that she wasnt as fearless as she was pretending to be.

Somehow, seeing Sam gave Danny more clarity. He forced himself through the thick waves of pain, and--ignoring his previous decision of holding back in his attacks--he sent the strongest ecto-blast he could muster at Wes. The ghost was shoved away and smashed into the opposite wall. As he went, his claws scraped at the wound on Danny's chest, making it bleed further. He winced. The damage had been done. Ectoplasm now leaked from a hole in his chest.

Danny could feel his energy gushing out from his wound. All of a sudden, the world tilted underneath his feet, and he staggered. His vision blurred into splotches of color, like a painting caught out in the rain.

Was it normal for him to taste ectoplasm leaking from his mouth? Danny was fairly certain that wasn't normal. He heard Sam calling his name and sluggishly lifted his head to see her standing before him, her hands hovering over his chest. When had she made her way to him? He followed her wide eyes to the spot on his chest. Right, the wound. The ectoplasm was gushing out at this point. He could feel the gravity increasing on him the more he bled. He blinked away the haziness in his eyes, and as he did, he saw something rise over her shoulder.

Danny had just enough alertness left over in his brain to recognize it as Wes. As fast as his exhausted mind would let him, he pushed Sam away and summoned a shield. He strained to keep the last wisps of ghostly energy he had to keep the shield up as Wes beamed ectoplasmic energy against it. How come Wes was so strong, anyway? His ghost just formed. It wasn't fair.

Not much time passed before Danny's energy completely drained away, and the shield cracked like a thin sheet of ice. The blast slammed against him, and he was shoved against the wall before collapsing onto the floor. He tried to stand up after that, but the task turned out to be as easy as walking on slippery oil. He immediately fell back down and stayed there. He was tired. Why was he so tired?

He waited for another attack, but none came. He forced himself to look up and saw several pairs of eyes. At first, he thought he was seeing double vision, but the eyes didn't belong to Wes. They belonged to the several students and teachers who were surrounding the two ghosts, wanting to help their hero but unsure how. In the center of the free space left by the crowd, Wes hovered.

His face was split into a grin. He was watching, waiting. For what? For Danny to die? That sounded fair. After all, Danny let Wes die. It made sense for him to return the favor.

Danny was about to surrender to the blackness creeping around his vision when a movement in the crowd caught his eye. A boy...Tucker?...pushed himself toward the scene, holding in his hand a familiar metallic cylinder. Wes's eyes widened at the object, but it was too late. With the press of a button, a beam of light shot at Wes and pulled him in.

"No!" Wes screamed. "No! I have to see it!" He tried to claw his way away from the thermos, but his effort was futile. He was captured inside the cylinder, which Tucker immediately put a cap on as soon as he was inside.

"Da--Phantom!" the geek cried out and ran toward him. He knelt next to his friend. Beside him, Sam did the same.

Danny's breath was ragged. It felt impossible to keep his eyes open anymore. He let his heavy eyelids fall over his eyes, and as he did, he felt a cold tingle travel across his body.

All around him, he heard gasps. He forced his eyes open again just to see what caused so much shock. Everyone was staring at him with wide eyes. When he looked down, he realized why.

The green leaking from him was turning red. His cotton shirt was wet and sticky from the blood. The hair drooping in front of his eyes was black. In his mouth, the lime taste was turning to copper.

Of course. How couldn't he have seen it earlier? All ghosts had some power related to their obsession. That was why Wes could beat his ass so easily--enough to revert him into his human form.

Normally, Danny would have been more alarmed at the reveal of his identity and the fact that he was maybe possibly dying. But now, he found that he didn't have enough energy to care. He was tired...maybe a small nap wouldnt hurt.

With his friends' voices lingering in his ears, he closed his eyes again and let himself surrender to the darkness.

[mintseesaw]

Written in the Stars | one

Pairing: taehyung x reader

Genre: fluff, angst, dad!au

Word count: 6k

Warning: none

Description: read here (link in bio)

“I know, Mom. I’m about to leave.” You're on the phone with your mom, she’s reminding you about your trip to your hometown, your eyes skimming through the things you’re going to bring, making sure that nothing is forgotten.

You zipped the travel bag open, checking specifically the treats you bought yesterday in the nearby convenience store for your nephews. Joo Woon and Seo Joon are in a sugar diet but it doesn’t hurt if you spoil them once in a while.

“Okay, dear. Give us a call once you arrived at the station, I’ll ask your brother to pick you up.”

Your movements halted for a second at the mention of your brother.

“He’s home?” Since he got into uni, you rarely get the chance to see your little brother. You couldn't even admit that you miss that little punk who used to call you every time he asks you for a favor--more like when he needs money for his luxuries.

“Oh, he is. I threaten to cut his allowance off if he does not go home this weekend.”

Your eyes rolled at your mother’s remark. Indeed, she always has her ways in everything, including your trip to Daegu today.

“Mom, let him be. At least, he’s studying well. Anyways, don’t worry about me, I’ll just ride a bus or something.” You zipped it shut then hooked it on your shoulder as you sauntered your way out of the bedroom towards the sofa in the living room.

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah. You know my brother, mom. Yeonjun will only ask me a favor in exchange of driving me home.”

She chuckled and you can just picture her shaking her head. “Alright. Take care, dear.” Your thumb pressed the end call button then slipped the device inside your pocket.

You didnt fill your hand carry full as you don’t need a lot of clothes to change into. Also, you have remaining clothes kept somewhere in your drawers back at your parents’ house so you don’t necessarily need much.

Today’s your first Saturday to spend it back at home, first of the many coming weekends. You’re not a morning person, and if it werent for your agreement with your mom, you would have still been sleeping at this point.

The car ride to the train station was short giving you an ample of time left for you to catch the closest trip to your hometown. And as you saunter your way inside, you’re not expecting anything less than a crowd swarming within the pavement.

In no time, you have made your way to a ticket booth, purchased a ticket and settled in your seat indicated in the ticket receipt. Among the two pairs of seat facing each other, the one to your right and the pair across yours have yet to be occupied. And as you wait for the clock to strike at the time the train will leave, your eyes scan the confined space, eyeing the passengers who have also settled in like yourself before they unexpectedly land on a pair of a tall, young man and a little girl whom you assumed his daughter.

Although they have yet to reach near where you are, you could still make out the displeased expression of the man. The little girl, on the other hand, is half-sprinting ahead of him and you concluded that the action stirred the reaction present on the young man’s face. He tried to garner her attention by calling her name which you had failed to hear through the collective sound of chattering passengers. Instead of making her turn around to face him, he gains some of the passengers’ attention, heads glancing in their direction to which he bowed his head apologetically for creating an unnecessary noise. For you, it wasn’t the noise that made them turn their heads at him, it was probably his voice.

Wasting no time, in three long strides, he was able to reach for her tiny hand, taking it securely in his large one, making sure the little girl will no longer run naughtily. Once she snapped her head up and had a glimpse of his face, it’s as if she already knew she did something unpleasant. Her face fell, letting her father take her wherever their seats are without a protest. You were half-expecting for them to pass by your seat so when the same man halted his steps next to the seats across from yours, you slightly straightened your back, gathering they must be occupying of the seats across yours.

His nearness allowed you to examine him clearly and the first thing your scrutinizing eyes have landed on is his hair. It was not short, but not too long to be able to tie it up in a bun. Your eyes then traveled down his deep set of brown eyes to his pointed nose, to his pink, supple lips— you abruptly jerk your head away when you realize you’ve been staring far too long to be considered rude. You silently hoped he didnt notice that, lowering your head in utter embarassment. That‘s how you noticed your phone clutched securely in your palm.

You opened it and directed your gaze at the device, mindlessly scrolling through a social media app you just tapped, shaking away the urge to peer at the two figures in front of you.

After they had settled down, and made sure his daughter is comfortable enough, the handsome man crouched down to his daughter's eye level. Talking to her in a low voice so no one could hear it. The proximity between your seats and the wavering commotion allowed you to hear it, whether you want to or not.

"Do you promise not to do it again?" Asked in a low but deep whisper.

You heard his voice earlier, but now that you can hear it clearly and this close, it surprised you how his voice seemed deeper than you expect it to be. Not only his physical features made him a head turner, but his voice could as well. You know for sure.

The kid avoided his gaze then said, "Daddy, I want to eat." She was completely ignoring his father’s warning. And she was trying to get away with it.

"We just ate before we got here, didn’t we angel?" His forehead creased in doubt of his daughter’s claim. She was silent, blinking innocently.

"We didnt bring food though. Can my baby wait until we reach granny's house?" He softly coaxed, praying she would understand that there’s no way they would get anything to eat inside the train. He then clips some of her hair behind the shell of her ear, consoling her to her little dilemma.

"But Daddy, I'm hungry." Whines the little girl, although her pronounciation is clear and her verb communication skills are noticeably developed enough to voice out her thoughts straight into a clear message rather than saying it in chunks of phrases. Maybe she’s above the age of three.

"Didn't we just eat, angel? You're hungry again?"

She nodded vigorously, as if to prove a point. He looked helpless for a second.

It was during that moment when the train moved.

His features fell into a worry one. His goal to scold his daughter, long forgotten and washed away with concern. "Are you sure?" You heard his daughter whines again. You couldnt watch the scene continue to unfold anymore. And before you even register what you’re doing, you’re already interrupting their conversation.

"Uh— excuse me," the moment you spoke, it was an instant reaction of him to snap his head towards you. His daughter quietly peered at you. He straightened his back as he waits for you to continue talking, “Im sorry, I didn't mean to listen to your conversation. I heard... uhm your daughter... I have treats here, I'm not sure if you allow her to eat sweets—" he cuts you off politely. Your cheeks heating up when he didn't let you finish.

"No, it's fine Miss..." he trailed and look at you expectantly, waiting for you to tell your name.

"YN,"

You’re embarrassed for what you did that your mind is tricking you when you saw his eyes glinted by the mention of your name.

"... Miss YN, I mean, you didn't have to." He offered a smile and you’re not sure if it’s in response to your offer or a consolation to your flushed face.

"I was just considering that the journey will take more than 2 hours. And we just left Seoul..."

You waited as his eyebrows meet, pondering over the situation. It wouldnt upset you if he wouldnt accept it, since you’re a stranger and if youre in his shoes, it would be reasonable enough to second doubt a stranger’s intention.

He heaves a long sigh, raking his eyes to his daughter’s figure. If it weren’t for his daughter, he’d be too shy to accept anything from anyone.

"Okay, but please let me replace it once we get there."

You shook your head, “It's alright. I can just buy another."

"For your kids?"

Your mind momentarily went blank, suddenly losing the ability to process and comprehend a question.

"What?"

"The sweets."

Then it clicks in your mind. “Oh!" You chuckled, then briefly corrected his query, "...nephews."

This time around, it is his turn to blush. The faint crimson tinting his cheeks made him no less than the attractive man that he is. He looks dashing, regardless.

"Right, I'm sorry for assuming. I shouldn't have asked in the first place."

You didnt speak, but offered him a polite smile in reply. Your hand went to the small travel bag which you placed to the empty seat beside yours, lightly rummaging through the contents inside well aware that you’re under the scrutiny of two sets of eyes, watching your every movement in pure curiosity.. It shouldnt take you long to find it since you put them on top of the clothes. The familiar touch of the plastic wrapper made its way to your palm and you pull one out, and hand it over to the little girl.

His daughter, whom you heard her father called her Jae hya, looked at him as if to get a consent before accepting the treat from your hand.

He nodded and mouthed a ‘Thank you’ towards your direction before glancing back at her daughter, ‘What will you say to Miss YN, angel?”

Blinking a few times, she answered shyly in her cute adorable voice, “Thank you, Miss YN.”

“Just YN please,” you softly said then laughed a little before continuing, “and you’re welcome.”

Silence filled the air after the small interaction, to which you used the opportunity to divert your attention back to your phone.

The only time you dared to look up at him again is when he introduced himself out of nowhere.

"Taehyung,"

Your eyes instinctively flicked up at the sound of his deep and thick voice and met his intense gaze. His hand held out across the rectangular platform which created a little distance between your seats. Your eyes travelled from his eyes to his palm pushed forward in front of you, you stared at it for a second admiring how impressively large it is compared to yours before accepting the handshake. The warmth of his hand felt contrastingly good to the cold temperature inside the train. But then the moment ended shortly as you took your hand back quickly, startled by the sudden faint cold enveloping in your spine as his long and slender fingers made contact to your slim ones.

Sensing your awkwardness in the situation he cleared his throat as if to ease the strange tension between you, pulling himself back to his seat. Your head tilted on your left where the clear window allowed you to watch the blurry view outside. There’s nothing entertaining or astonishing in the view that can prolong your attention there, but you could just pretend to be immersed with it if it’s the only way to escape the chance of getting an an eye contact with him.

He was not intimidating at all. In fact, he’s polite and seems like a good father. The smile on his face while you were conversing with him is surprisingly sincere. But the rational in you tries to disregard the certain pull that’s accentuating in him.

Why would he waste his time to you? You’re someone he personally does not know of as well as he is for you.

But...is it wrong to appreciate his perfect exterior features? After all, he’s just not simply beautiful. The word alone would not give justice to describe him. He can be likened to an ethereal creature whom god generously gifted too much of all the good physical attributes that one human can have.

And when he stared at you—the intensity that his eyes hold when he sets them on you, it was too much to just let him rest them on you while your insides are melting. You try to shake away the emerging attraction.

Isnt it too soon for that?

He’s just a stranger— a passenger travelling from Seoul to Dongdaegu station which also happens to be where you’re boarded into, and whom his seat is across yours. That’s just it. You’ll never see him again. The thought becomes your internal mantra the whole journey in order to dissipate the agitated feeling inside you that one could mistakenly concluded as a look of indifference while you motionlessly peer at the window.

Two hours and more had passed and the train stopped to your destination. During the whole ride, you were not even spared a single wink of sleep from the mere presence in front of you. His eyes are shut when you stood up and walk towards one of the exit doors, unsure if he spared you a glance during the rest of the journey. It shouldn’t matter anymore because you wouldn't see him again. And the embarrassing act which hinted your little act of eavesdropping to their personal conversation should be buried deep in your memory lane where you can’t remember it forever.

“YN!” Your mom exclaimed happily when she opens the front door, greeting you with a warm hug.

It was more than four weeks ago when she paid you a visit in your place in Seoul and it was the last you’ve seen of her until today. You hugged her back.

“Come, let’s eat. Table’s ready for breakfast...”

Your eyes skimmed the vicinity of the before asking, “Where’s Yeonjun?”

Just as your mother heard you and is about to speak to reveal where your brother is, Yeonjun timingly appeared from the doorway of the kitchen. He was munching something you’re not sure what of. Not to mention, his mouth is full. When you say full, his cheeks are swelling and his lips are barely closing from the contents filling exaggeratingly inside his mouth. When your mother’s eyes landed on his form, he flinches. The mere sight of her giving you and him an indication of what is to come.

“Yeonjun!” He earns a smack in his arm from your mother, “I told you to wait up!” She gritted.

Yeonjun immediately went behind your back, knowing he’ll be spared the scolding if he has someone protecting him from your mother’s wrath and someone as a human shield from another impending spank.

He complains, “I’m starving, Mom. I didnt have dinner last night.” You chuckled, not at his reason but from the manner he delivered it, they way a three year-old kid would reason out if they get caught red handed eating sweets when they’re not allowed to. Going to college didn't change him one bit. He’s still the immature younger brother that you know.

Such a baby.

“Who isnt? Your father is as hungry as you are!”

He didnt reply but you could hear him mockingly imitate her in a low voice so she couldn’t hear. It made you snorted further. Your mother eyed you briefly, her eyebrow shot up in question. She threw a harmless warning at him before proceeding back to the kitchen.

“You rascal,” you poked, ruffling his hair at the same.

“Stop that, Noona, I just fixed my hair.” He whines, swatting your hand away from his hair.

“Oooh, my baby brother’s growing up. When did you learn to clean up?” You teased further. He rolled his eyes in response.

“Stop calling me that. I’m not a baby...look I’m even taller than you.” he retorted back, a side smirk appearing on his face, mocking your obvious insufficiency in the height department.

You playfully rub his cheek as if to literally wipe off the smirk on his face. He reacted impulsively, grabbing your hand away from his face.

“Noona… stop!” he grumbled. His efforts seemed to be wasted as he firmly locked both of your hands in his fist but he was kept pestered on as you kicked his thighs in return, trying to get away from his hold.

You were enjoying the look of complete irritation in his face like he’s ready to throw you off the window at any second in any chance that he gets.

“YN noona!” he frustratingly exclaimed while struggling to keep hold of you. “Why are you being annoying? You literally just got here.”

“Carry me to the dining table.” You softly demanded, as if you’re not locked up from his hands. Despite his strength and towering height, he’s scared enough to use it to his advantage against you and a sly grin making its way on your face knowing that he’ll eventually obey you.

His face scrunched up, trying to mock your command. “What are you, 5?”

“Piggy back ride, then I’ll leave you be.”

He dramatically lets out a sigh before he follows to your bidding, “Fine.”

Your parents both send you a weird look when Yeonjun entered in the dining room with you on his back. After he puts you down, and after you briefly greet your dad and flop down on an empty chair beside your brother’s, the four of you finally started eating, anything but a silent breakfast. It’s always like that, especially when your brother is present. He also has his way of annoying you as much as you have to him and if not for your mother chiding in between your bickering, you wouldn’t try to shut up as well as your brother.

As the short duration of the meal ends, your father ordered your brother to do the chore of washing the dishes. Being a baby that he is, he whined helplessly as if it can change your father’s order.

Your sister and the twins arrived shortly after breakfast. Your temporary job or as your sister calls it your duty as an aunt starts right away, babysitting them as they play in the confines of the living room. Toy cars, animal figurines and pieces of legos were left scattered all over the floor and you helplessly sat on the floor while looking out for your nephews to make sure they won’t hurt themselves. At this point, you find the chance to talk to Chae through the phone, while your eyes never leaving the two handful human beings wherever they waddled to. When she came to know you’re currently at your parents’ house, she immediately gossiped the information in the groupchat you share with your old friends whom you met in high school.

“How’s the city girl doing?” It was Chae right when you reached the table where you found her sitting in inside the famous Samgyeopsal place in the town. It was about twenty minute drive from your parents’ house. She arrived to the diner before you and Hoseok did and obviously selected a table while waiting for everyone to show up.

You were greeted with smoke and pleasantly tolerable chattering coming from the customers as you and Hoseok went inside. Hoseok took the chair which is literally across the grilling area of the table.

“Just fine.” You casually shrug your shoulders, asking you as if you two haven’t been talking on the phone for at least half an hour.

Chae craned her neck trying to peer behind your back, probably looking for the others. Hoseok gave you a ride so you only came with him.

“Where’s Yoongi and Irene? I swear to God those two are always competing for the last one to show up.”

“I called Irene to say I’m gonna pick her up along with YN, but she mentioned baby Leo is sick so she couldn’t make it.” He told you that earlier in the car on the way here. He continued talking when no one else has yet to throw a remark, “Yoongi-hyung… well you know him, he’s probably just late.” Chae curtly nodded in acknowledgement.

“Chae told me your auto repair business is expanding, Hobi.” You began, and in a way, to talk about something far more important. If Chae didn’t share the information, you probably wouldn’t have known. Among the group, you’re always the last one to know what’s going on with your friends’ lives, not only that you’re the only one who left the town to work, you also rarely get the time to communicate with them.

“Oh, yeah. It’s going great, the number of customers is growing so there’s also a demand to expand the area. But you guys know it’s not solely mine. I have a business partner.”

“Are you talking about that beautiful, young man in your office when I came to your shop? You didnt even introduce us!” Chae accusingly asserted.

A familiar lady, who you recognized as the owner of the diner, appeared on your table. Fresh slices of pork belly in a plate and side dishes in the tray being balanced in a single hand as she placed them one by one on the table. Another helper came, serving the rest of the dishes Chae first handedly ordered. Hoseok attentively took the plate filled with meat and started grilling them.

His eyes narrowing at her remark. “Shut up, Chae. He just recently got divorced.”

“The more reason you need to introduce me to him. You know, he might be looking for someone to forget his wife.”

You throw a potato marble in her direction using your chopsticks. It was too late when she tried to cover her face with her hands as it landed on her shoulder. You heard Hoseok roared into fits of laughter. She winces even though it was faintly thrown, thus, she’s only being dramatic. “What? I’m desperate. Perhaps, your brother—” she ducked and screeched when she saw you raised your chopsticks, anticipating the impact of another potato marble.

“He’s 19.” You grated casually knowing that she’s being in her satirical self.

“So? He’s attractive.”

“So is Ji Soo. Better option since he’s around our age.” You teased, your smirk growing as a distaste look replaces her bright and playful aura. Hoseok yet again fell into a series of laughter in pure amusement which made you laugh in return. He’s the only person who can make you laugh through the sound of his laughter alone.

“Why don’t you give the poor guy a chance? He’s been pursuing since forever.”

“No, thanks. I’d rather be single.” She scornfully expressed while spontaneously filling her mouth anything that her chopsticks can reach to divert her attention, mostly kimchi and anchovies.

“He’s not that bad, seems like a nice guy to me and probably better than your ex-fling.”

“Yeah, he once stopped by the shop. He’s nice.” Hoseok seconded your comment to her dismay. Her face scrunched up in disgust.

“Why is the topic suddenly shifted to that guy? I can’t stand him, okay?”

Before you can bite back a reply, Yoongi suddenly appeared, coolly sitting up beside Hoseok.

With a simper, Chae retorted at the swift appearance of the honey-haired man, “Look who decided to finally show up.”

As usual, he doesn’t seem one bit embarrassed from being almost half an hour late. He gave a brief nod in your direction, acknowledging your presence before taking a pair of chopsticks and took a bite from Hoseok’s ramen.

“I couldn’t leave until Yoo-Ri sleeps.” He states in an indifferent manner, even though no one was questioning his late arrival. Maybe you all just got used to it.

“Aww,” Chae’s hand flew on her chest, clutching it, a gesture of mock admiration to which Yoongi responded by rolling his eyes. “Such a sweet father.”

He ignored her jest, then spoke in between chews of food in his mouth, “So, what’s up?”

“YN, wants to treat us. That’s what.” Chae proudly announces which you send her a dumbfounded look, not expecting her comment.

“I didn’t say that.”

“She’ll pay the bill anyway,”

“I’m sure city girl will,” Yoongi snickered. The pet name came from him. As you’re the only one who went away from the town for better opportunities of your career. All of you separately went to uni outside Daegu. But the rest of them, unlike you, came back here. Yoongi married a year ago and chose to settle down here, as well as Irene who got married right after college. Hoseok started a business related to his degree and Chae works in one of the district hospitals here as a nurse.

In between chitchats of you and Chae, and Yoongi and Hoseok, your sudden visit in Daegu became the main topic of conversation when Yoongi asked out of nowhere, “Are you planning to stay here for good?”

You shook your head, “Plain visit. My mom wants me babysit the kids every weekends.”

“You’re going back to Seoul?” Yoongi interrogated further.

Uncertain of where the conversation is going, you tell him, “My work is in Seoul...”

“But where do you wanna live permanently?” It was Hoseok, this time. Now their attention is solely aimed at you, peering as they curiously wait for you to answer.

“I don’t know…”

“Life is much better here.” Yoongi acknowledges. Of course, he’ll say that. For one, he wouldn’t decide to live here if he thinks otherwise.

“Are you guys convincing me to live back here?”

She shrugged of her shoulders. “Maybe?” You didn’t respond to that, mostly because you’re confused why the casual conversation turned serious and seemingly fishy in your perspective. Are they teaming up now? For what?

“I mean, there’s like a tiny chance of running into...him if you’re here.” She further supplied.

Your eyes remained at Chae processing her words, although you’re certain the two guys are observing your reaction by the mention of your ex, an indicator rather. They must have thought you’re still not okay. You admit you’re not entirely healed up. But it doesn’t mean you’re hopelessly waiting for him to come back. You’re done with him. Nothing will ever make you change your mind, even so much as him literally begging the place he once have in your life, though you’re certain he wouldn’t.

The pain caused by the remnants of your wounds is what’s making you emotionally reserved these past few weeks. You’re broken and you’ve learned to cope up with it. You’re still broken because the past keeps haunting you for it was hard to erase years of your life that you had spent with him. 8 years to be exact. But it was just that. It’s not because you haven’t moved on. In fact, you don’t love him anymore. The pain that he caused is the only thing that reminds you of him now.

“Even if I do, I can manage. It’s not like I’m avoiding him, anyway.”

Yoongi decided to interfere as the atmosphere abruptly changes, “Let’s just drink.” He then called the attention of the lady owner, ordering bottles of soju.

The night ended pretty much later than you have expected. Hoseok’s low alcohol tolerance already made him wasted after half of the shots Yoongi have had, as well as Chae. Unlike him, Yoongi looks fine except for his flushed cheeks and neck. Not even a flicker of drunkenness can be identified in him. The current situation led him to volunteer himself to drive Hoseok’s car since all of you didn’t bring any car except for the owner himself who’s barely holding up and almosr crawling his way back to where his car is parked.

Both Hoseok and Chae have literally passed out right after you and Yoongi brought them to the backseat. It was quiet on the ride home. And you’re not complaining about it.

This day went a little productive than you anticipated it to be. The hangout was unplanned and a spur of the moment decision while you were talking to Chae through the phone. You mindlessly brought up the desire to go out to Chae, not really thinking the others would take it seriously if you ever ask them through the groupchat. The next thing you know, Chae have set up the the time and place where everyone will meet up to have a little drink and Hoseok calling you up to tell you he’d pick you up on the way.

In the midst of the silence inside the car, an image of the man earlier in the train flashed into your mind, to your dismay.

He’s just no one.

Yoongi decided to break the comforting silence. “You’ll be back next Saturday?” He rolled down the window and lit up a cigarette which you’re not aware where he got it from. Inside his pocket? You guessed.

“Yeah.”

“To babysit?” He chuckled, resting his elbow against the driver’s side’s door, the stick in between his forefinger and middle finger poking outside the window as he puffs out a smoke through his mouth. His other hand permanently glued on the steering wheel.

“Something like that…”

His efforts to casually converse with you was short lived as he noticed through his peripheral vision how all the events that occured today are gradually taking its toll on you. So he just continued to drive without opening up another conversation.

He only spoke later on when he stopped in front of your parents’ house, right after you slid off the car, and is about to close the passenger’s door.

“Give me a call if you wanna set up a little playdate with the kids and Yoo-Ri. I’m sure my wife wouldn’t mind it.” A smile made its way on your face, nodding at his offer. The twins will be ecstatic to meet another playmate.

“Sure. Drive safely, yeah?”

He gave you a curt nod then rolled the window up in the passenger’s side and drove away.

That night was the last you saw them yet. Days flew by in a blur unlike the past weeks and months which felt longer than this week that had quickly passed. You hate to admit that the weekend you spent with your family and with your old friends did a wonderful refreshment to you. You’d rather not tell your mom that she’s right, yet again. That her idea made a great effect on you.

When Monday came, you’re already anticipating another weekend to spend to in Daegu. And now that it’s already Saturday, you couldn’t wait to see them again today. You’re not sure who exactly you're excited to see of. Perhaps, being around the presence of people you trust without reservation puts you in peace. Being away with your loved ones and faced with strangers, colleagues, gravely contributes to your pent up frustration of doubting everyone’s sincerity towards you. After what happened.

All you’ve been chasing throughout these years is a decent life somewhere with someone you love thinking it’s the simplest form of happiness. After he broke off the engagement, the man whom you thought you’d spend the rest of your life with and the future you created with him all vanished into the thin air. When he officially left your shared apartment, you thought it was also the end for you. Not knowing how you’d recover from the severe damage he inflicted. That the rest of your life will be spent full of pretense happiness, with pure indifference and hatred to the world.

Now that you’ve realized what you’ve become after he left, it’s a good thing for you that he’s already out of your life. Because loathing the world instead of directing it towards him says how badly infatuated you are to him. To the point of blaming everyone for your heartbreak instead of aiming your fury to the person who have caused it. This would be the last time you’ll think of him. Even a flicker of his name, or a tinge of his image in your mind. You wont think of him, unless an external force coerces you to.

It was the last thing you remembered before falling asleep in the comforts of your seat.

He couldn’t help but stare mesmerizingly and in full awe. His lips parted, eyes twinkling from admiration, barely blinking, as if afraid to let his sight falter to such view in front of him. An angel. It was as if luck is on his side. She was already asleep when he arrived at his seat not too far away from her. But taken aback when he saw her, sleeping. Noticing the vacancy of the seats across her, he risked occupying them with his daughter sleeping on his arms as he settled in front of the woman who has filled his thoughts since that day. Indeed, luck is in his favor because nobody has claimed the seats.

Now, he’s not only sitting across her, the closest he could get, he can also stare at her sleeping form and could do it longer without making her uncomfortable like the last time. Hair getting in the way of her face as her head swayed to the said and he wants so much as push it aside to see her face more clearly. She looks like a beautiful angel, one that was sent to rescue them last Saturday and one who is responsible for making his heart flutter involuntarily.

When she offered the sweets for his daughter, it was an instant thought that she may have kids on her own although he shouldnt have voiced it out. Because she looks mature enough to be one, in a good way. Taehyung witnessed his friends bloom in their motherhood stage. It was that kind of maturity that he sees in her.

His eyes instinctively searched for her hand, for her ring finger that may hold him back. His heart does an overwhelming tug when he saw your finger unoccupied by a wedding band. Perhaps, a boyfriend? The same thought trailed in his mind as he noticed her stirring from her slumber. He moves his eyes towards his little princess, sleeping soundly beside him. And when he moves it back in front where the beautiful angel is sitting, his eyes widens.

She’s awake. And her reaction completely mimics his. Surprise evidently written on her face. For what reason?

You’re dreaming, aren’t you? Your mind must be creating an illusion at the place where you first laid eyes on him. You were thinking of him too much than you care to admit for letting him wander in your mind alone is unnecessary. You literally just broke up with you fiancée some months ago. You’re not supposed to relevantly consider the idea of him, someone you’re probably attracted with like a teenager that you’re not.

Your eyes fluttered, expecting to see nothing but the cushioned chair in front of you as you open them again.

Your breath hitched when your eyes landed on him yet again. He was looking at you with the same intensity like the last time. The same one which made you strangely uncomfortable.

He’s really here?

Your eyes traveled beside his seat. It is taken as well. By the sleeping figure of Jae hya. Have your mind gone wild making an image not only him in it but including his daughter...which likened the scene last Saturday? This time though, he is wearing a different button up shirt, larger than his body size but strangely suits him well. If this image in front of you is real, isn’t it weird to be seated across with a man and his daughter twice in a row?

Your heart achingly tugs against your chest when a smile slowly surfaces on his face while he locks his eyes on you.

The longer you stare back at him, completely immobile from your seat, the harder it gets to believe a part of you which convinces you this is not true.

The same man who has kept your mind unwarrantedly occupied is here? Same train in a same day. What is the probability of seeing him again? There’s only a tiny bit chance. Coincidence? Possibly… or perhaps, fate?

mintseesaw © 2019

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an: unedited :( what do you guys think?

[christinesficrecs]

Lost Sterek Fics

So many lost fics!  Please comment/message me if you can help. :) 

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- I’m pretty sure it’s kind of long but I could be mistaken, stiles and Derek have children and at some point their son becomes an alpha and the near the end of the book Derek and his son turn into these giant wolves and fight off a creature that I can’t remember and stiles is really upset about it cause they might never be able to turn back. 

- it’s of sheriff spanking stiles and derek is in stiles room listening. stiles goes back in his room and they have sex!!

- Derek was confused by the other bitten werewolves saying things like "the wolf wants" or "the wolf part of me" because he always have been one since he was born a werewolf and never divided himself like that? 

- Derek is drunk & thinks that his feelings are unreciprocated& stiles takes him back & tells him that they are not so Derek lines up his fingers with Stiles & counts them to 10,so basically he's saying that he is not dreaming& the feels behind that one!!!

- Derek is famous and powerful & he and Stiles start a relationship. What I remember is one scene in particular where they are being interviewed and they get some judgement because Derek and Stiles are versatile and werewolves consider an Alpha as a bottom a sign of weakness. I remember Stiles & Derek basically rolling their eyes at each other about the stupidity of that while being interviewed. 

- Sterek are in love, but so are their kids. So they never get married, (because they don’t want to hinder their kids love) but their kids end up married at the end. (might be a series)

- Werewolves growls all have different meanings. Some generic ones everyone can understand. But some growls you have to know the wolf really well to know what that growl means. Derek has this growl that Stiles doesn't know the meaning of.

- Derek and Stiles are fighting and Stiles says something like "we don't trust ech other" and Derek brings what happened at the pool ans say something like "that doesn't mean nothing to me" 

- Stiles is writhing the story of his life with Derek and at the end he write it as if Derek have died in fire and his last words with Derek is something like if I die I lose you and that scare the sh*t out of me or something then he stop writing because his husband -SHOCERK- enters the room and it is Derek

- Stiles and friends cheat at lacrosse to make their families happy. Because they were fired from Hale Company. And Derek and stiles are in a secret relationship?

- Stiles, and the others, end up befriending Erica while Peter is still going around killing people as an alpha. I only remember that Stiles and Erica, with some of the others, were at like a diner? And Peter attacks, and bites, Erica when they leave.

- i’m pretty sure it was a human au that was set in New Orleans. One of them, Stiles or Derek, worked at call center and the other worked at a diner. I think Scott was Stiles’ roommate." & "update i remember that Derek was a 911 call operator and Stiles was the one working as a server at the diner."

- Stiles is magic and when they were lilttleish kids makes Scott’s father go away, possibly forever.

stiles’ mother/grandma always made him a special soup, and he never knew what the secret ingredient was until Derek made it for him the same way, when he realised it was love.

- Stiles and derek are running away together to fight monsters. At some point there was a troll closing up on them and they hid on top of a tree and stiles got loopy? 

- Derek and Issac are cops who follows who stiles is an agent gone rogue. I think stiles kills the bad guys in frond of them and saves Derek's life. 

- Stiles and Isaac alone in a house and they hear a suspicious noise so Stiles is like we should call Derek but the suspicious noise actually ended up being Derek and he’s proud of them for thinking to call him?

- it's either a season1 or 2 au where stiles and derek enter an arrangement where they sex it up in exchange for derek to try to teach scott werewolfy stuff. i remember at one point danny and stiles talk abt the arrangement and danny later chews derek out abt being more gentle. 

- I vaguely recall a season 1 canon divergence where Allison tells the sheriff that Kate has Derek chained up under the Hale house  

- Stiles and derek are mates and Stiles goes out of town for a while and derek goes into his wolf form and sort of becomes a bit feral but then stiles comes back and helps him

- derek and stiles are at some sort of searching ceremony esque interview and derek unconsciously flashes his eyes at stiles. Peter explains later in the fic that derek was trying to pique stiles' interest (unknowingly). 

- Stiles is patient/test subject on somenkind of shady facility where they do experiments on humans and I think he's been there most of his life. Derek is a new doctor in there and is the first one who is kind to stiles.

- Derek only asked stiles out to annoy Scott, but actually fell for him, stiles over hears Derek and Issac talking about it and I think he leaves for college, I remember near the end that the wolfs did something to his jeep so stiles had not choice to stay at the house to talk to Derek because Derek made a huge mistake and wants stiles back. 

- to help defeat the alpha pack Stiles and Allison go to Derek. Derek says he can only do it if they join his pack. Derek proceeds to have sex with Stiles, while Allison has sex with Issac and Boyd. Scott gets pissed, and Allison has Boyd’s babies. I think it’s a series, 3 short fics.

- I'm looking for a fic that has Stiles at a party. I believe he is used as werewolf bait or turns out to be alluring to werewolves and didnt know it.

- I think Derek and Stiles are in a basement under the Halehouse, and because of some kind of moon Derek wants Scott to be in that basement. They make fun of Scott but he hear them and he lock the door when Derek and Stiles are inside. Smut happens 

- Stiles being a spark and just learning how to use his powers, Peter Hale is helping him learn when he discovers that every time that Stiles uses his powers he gets aroused and Derek helps him out through it, 

- Stiles and Derek are in the woods, and some type of creature makes both of them hallucinate. Derek then attacks Stiles thinking that Stiles is a monster. It was like a horror or psychological horror. 

- everyone has a secondary gender (omega, beta, alpha) but there are werewolves as well. Derek is Alpha-alpha, and Stiles is human Omega while Scott turns into Beta-beta. It followed along the first season of Teen Wolf and instead of Derek manhandling Stiles in the show, he grabs his hand and squeezes it. (1/2)(cont) It progresses until Stiles, Lydia and Allison are shopping for formal wear for the dance and Stiles starts to get his heat when Peter shows up and takes them hostage. The end chapter has Derek helping Stiles through his heat as he looks up at the moon with red eyes. 

- im looking for this accidental mating fic where scott and stiles are at dereks and stiles accidently mates with derek after he tries to run etc?

- stiles was helping derek with school I think and they got along and one night - stiles had a nightmare I think and was having a panic attack and called derek but didn't tell him about the nightmare and talked about something else and stiles got calmed by derek voice ..  

- derek is an alpha and like everyday people try to fight him in order to get his powers? i think they’re all in high school and that stiles is the new kid? 

- it’s where derek was at a clinic, and stiles was the one to ‘examine’ him — with sex toys, etc., — on the last chapter, it was established that they were already together and roleplaying. they were in the clinic that scott works at which stiles had gotten the keys to.

- It has two parts. The first involves someone poisoning the wolves so that they'll shift/go crazy. Stiles is in high school and he and Derek drink wine?? The second, the pack goes to college, and Derek breaks up with stiles to protect him. Stiles starts taking pain killers and gets depressed, the Alpha pack shows up, and Peter ends up being evil and trying to kill everyone??

-  Stiles kinda is hurting when he has his first time with Derek?

-  stiles Accidental Voyeurism on Derek showering and he is nervous because he is nervous to talk to him because he’s just that hot!

- stiles is adopted by the hales I think and Derek figures out he's his mate, I think there's growing up time skips, but the ending is Derek rushing home from college because the Argents are there to start the fire, stiles stays back with Talia to help defend their home.

-  it’s girl!stiles and it’s where she has hairy legs and arm pits and just owns herself and she goes on a camping trip with Derek and they’re both naked because they don’t really care for nudity,

-  I'm looking for a fic that had Stiles continuously flirting with other people to make Derek jealous after he realizes how good the sex is.

- There is a similar new fic called ‘User Error’ (first chapter looks great), it’s the troupe where Stiles is the brains behind the business and his partner (Scott?) tries to push him out/limit his input, Stiles is hurt but agreed to leave, but not before pulling out receipts of patents and just totally owning the situation, leaving but pretty much taking the rights to everything with him epically schooling those around him.

- stiles goes back in time to before the hale fire and tries to stop it, (fire is on night of a school dance) but he could only save Cora? I think he went be the name Cris or something similar

- Stiles had a boyfriend but he loved Derek and he thought Derek didn't loved him back so he would hide all his emotions from the pack, cause he was in so much pain. And they would fight a lot. I don't know if he was a spark or no.

- stiles and derek hate each other and When they lost their friends they were stuck together to search for them..

- Derek is in heat at the hale house and told everyone to stay away, but stiles didn’t and so Derek kisses him and makes stiles go into a pseudo heat and then they ride it out together.

- stiles finds out that derek has never actually gotten a good blow job bc his peen is that Big™ and he decides to rectify that, and i think stiles find out bc derek never lets him give him one im not sure

- It's an AU where the pack are all friends who are into surfing and are going down the coast (in mexico) finding small beaches and Sterek hooks up but then they get all awkward and depressed until Derek apologizes and clears things up. I remember it had some bi Erica and beach sex.

- I'm looking for a fic where Stiles has trouble accepting compliments from Derek and he buys himself a second-hand leather jacket to feel like part of the pack and Derek compliments it which Stiles thinks is sarcastic because obviously the jacket is old and damaged so basically he thinks everyone pities his loserness. low self-esteem drama ensues.

- I’m looking for a fic where Scott pushes stiles away for his own safety and then stiles befriends Boyd and one day Scott after a fight with some monster? Or big bad of the week? Scott tries to call stiles and his number has changed. Then it’s scott showing up at his house and basically trying to befriend stiles again..I think I remember something about Scott and stiles having plans to blow up stiles piece of crap phone

- a derek hale one shot. the plot is that the reader has a crush on scott and derek decideds to help her forget. i think the fic was called 'make you forget'

[the-worlds-tiniest-bowtie]

Brandon Coleman's Boy Witch

I had the pleasure of experiencing Brandon as Boy Witch for the first time last week and I haven't shut up about it since! I decided to make a post detailing all the things i love about him because his take on BW is so different than anyone I've seen before.

this is completely self indulgent and kind of just a diary entry/recap. i'm not posting this on my main blog on the off chance Brandon somehow finds it.

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warning: this contains spoiler heavy material for BW's entire loop. i will be comparing the differences between Brandon and other performers (Nate, David, Austin, Jason, etc) so some of their character choices/audience interactions will be detailed here.

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let me start by saying Brandon's Porter is my all time favorite. he played Porter in my 2nd show ever and was the first actor/character i followed for a full loop. I've had his 1:1 at least 4 times, maybe 5. the last time he picked me was one of the most special moments I have ever experienced in a show.. I don't remember who was playing Boy Witch but it was probably David or Nate because those are the only 2 i would follow from the ballroom.

after BW pushed Porter down, i had every intention of following BW. there were 3 or 4 people standing right where Porter usually picks, and i wasn't angling to get the 1:1 at all. when BW left, i followed him for about 5 steps and then turned around to watch Porter pick his 1:1. when i looked down at Brandon, he was already staring at me. I've never seen Porter pick someone BEHIND him for a 1:1, and i don't know if Brandon recognized me, but i gave it a second to see if he would realize it was me and choose someone else instead. Nope. i didn't move until he slowly reached his hand out and that's when i turned around and walked back to him. i may never know what possessed him to pick in such an unusual way and it still makes my heart skip a beat when i think about that moment.

something i really enjoyed about Brandon's BW is that many of the character traits he exhibits are clearly inspired by Porter. on the other hand, some aspects of his character are the opposite of how he plays Porter. Boy Witch is flirty, saucy, minx-y, and while Brandon is all of those things, he's missing one thing the other boys have: he's not mean. he's the first boy witch I've seen that doesn't give off a "i'm leading you on but i really don't give a shit about you" vibe. where most boys are sinister, Brandon is fun. i have never seen a BW smile so much - and not the usual knowing smirk, like, he was BEAMING. youthful, carefree, excited!

I first saw Brandon in the ballroom, dancing with Malcolm. it took a few minutes for him to look at me (was i desperately trying to make eye contact because we talked at the halloween party and i was super pumped about FINALLY seeing his Boy Witch? maybe.) and when he did, he went from being stoic and serious to getting visibly excited and grinning SO BIG i almost died. (Brandon, if you're reading this, let's be friends seriously how are we not friends already?) little did i know, this was going to be dark foreshadowing for the rest of the night.

like i said, he was having the time of his life.. until he wasn't. my second sign that Brandon's BW was going to be unlike any other was during the luggage dance. I've been pushed up against the wall by Boy Witch more times than i can count. I think Nate holds the record. but this is the first time BW has walked towards me, made me step back almost against the wall, then suddenly twirled around me and put his own back against the wall. IM SORRY WHAT? it took a second for my brain to catch up and realize he was inviting me to participate in role reversal. I can and will play Boy Witch at any given moment, so i took another step and pinned him against the wall for a split second. we made eye contact and it threw me off to see Brandon being sultry instead of the scared Porter expression I'm used to seeing. LITTLE DID I KNOW.

the phone booth dance was another confusing emotional rollercoaster- that was the first time I've seen an actor I associate with Porter playing Boy Witch and i was suddenly brought back to my first time watching that dance; not knowing whose side to be on. i betrayed Porter and followed BW to High Street, where he actually spat into his hand, which is somehow not the grossest thing I've seen BW do. (re: David making himself throw up in the shower takes the cake) BW led me to the Speakeasy where i found NATE AS SPEAKS and i swear i nearly fainted. Brandon tried to attack me, of course, Nate stopped him and i had yet another trippy moment of watching my favorite Boy Witch actor shove my favorite Porter actor into a box.

nothing too exciting happened between then and the rave. Brandon kept looking at me while wearing the ram head and thanks for the attention Brandon but i HATED IT. i hate that stupid head. i followed BW to the shower where he broke my heart for the first time that evening. i love to see what different actors do in the shower. it's such a simple scene in theory but such an opportunity for each actor to make it their own. i watched David gag himself until he threw up, then scrub his face and body for a solid 2 minutes, I've seen Nate spit out an entire mouthful of blood, etc etc. Brandon did possibly the most heartwrenching of them all, which was curl up against the wall and hide his face in his arms. he didn't move for a long time, and when he did, he started gently shaking and sniffling. crying. this lasted for another minute before he looked up and surveyed the room.

i was purposefully not standing directly in front of the crowd; i was right next to the sink but there was another person slightly in front of me. i know Brandon's history of picking me when I'm trying NOT to be picked. i saw him look at me but i wasn't going to be a pushy audience member, so i held still while the person in front of me grabbed the towel. (if you're reading this, you already know how it ends and I'm sorry!) he dried off and looked at them, then motioned for his shirt. he got the box out, dug around, pulled his pants out, and handed them to.. me. i knew it was coming but it still made me so happy i almost cried. not to flex but I'm an expert at unraveling BW's suspenders so i untangled them in mere seconds. i stepped back after that, fully intending to give that person their shot, but i knew all along he was going to walk out with me. sure enough, he stood up, didn't look at anyone, and slipped his hand in mine as he walked out the door. side note: Brandon, if you're reading this, i love that you squeeze my hand like 3 times when you pick me for things. thank you.

we made it to the 1st floor where he scared the shit out of me when i got to the bottom of the stairs, then gave me a very sensual kiss on the cheek and ran off to the banquet. at this point, i left him to follow Speakeasy and didn't catch back up until the end of the witches' lobby dance with Macbeth. he picked someone else to sing to and this time, i did position myself conveniently to get chosen for the phone booth 1:1. sorry, fellow audience members. you gotta learn when to hold'em and when to fold'em! the phone booth is one i rarely get, so i felt justified. I glared at BW and tried to look apologetic at Porter- who walked away while BW was still using my finger to wipe his face. POWER MOVE. I SEE YOU JOHN WILLIAM WATKINS.

Boy Witch bewitched me with his eyes and then shrouded us in the darkness of the curtain. when we were safely hidden away from the world- holy shit, you guys. his face changed. suddenly, i was looking at Porter. the first time i saw him as Porter, i described Brandon as an older, more masculine version of Credence from Fantastic Beasts. i texted a friend that he had the energy of someone nervous and abused, and that same fearful energy came through in those moments in the phone booth. depending on how you interpret the story, BW is a scared and abused boy. he looked at me with those sad Porter eyes and i was filled with the strangest deja vu as he took off my mask. he whispered a secret in my ear and we had a fun out of character moment where Brandon tried to put my mask on and the curtain started to fall, so he panicked and tried to hand my mask to me, but i didnt notice in time, so he had to try and put my mask on again but we were running out of time because the curtain was still falling and he SOMEHOW got it on but omg it was stressful. Brandon, if you're still reading, that was adorable and I'm glad i got to share that moment of panic with you. also i love you.

i left BW soon after that but caught back up with him at the end of the show, where Brandon graciously walked me out. y'all, if you're lucky enough to get a walkout, the best part of the entire show might just be the moment you and the actor smile knowingly at each other before breaking into a run, down the lobby hallway and through the red curtains.

Brandon's charm doesn't stop when the show ends, though. i sent him a kiss emoji (or 12) as soon as i left the building and he immediately sent back a message where he APOLOGIZED FOR SOME TINY MISTAKE I DON'T EVEN REMEMBER. Brandon, i hope you read this so you know how FURIOUS i am that you would ever apologize for the performance you put on. don't you DARE say sorry for being a completely new and different version of my favorite character. you're my #1 Porter and now my #2 Boy Witch. (sorry, Nate Carter owns this ass.) also, you're just the most lovable person. we have so much in common that it's actually a crime you have yet to follow me back on instagram. also, happy late birthday, this is your present from me.

IN CONCLUSION: if you haven't been to a Sunday early show in the past 5 weeks, it's time for you to buy your ticket. go see that boy in action.

fin.

[botls]

seeing hadestown 9/29/19 - part two

under the cut is my take on act two of hadestown after seeing it. i didnt really do a play by play of what’s happening in every scene so this is kind of assuming that you have some previous knowledge of the show and focuses on on the cast and the little things they were doing. part 1 here. meeting the cast. meeting tlt cast. if you have more questions or are curious about anything else PLEASE come and ask me in my inbox or messages i could talk about this show for the rest of my life

our lady of the underground:

the workers weren’t there - it was just persephone and hermes which was really cool

not sure if that was a new thing or a temp thing or something i was supposed to know but yeah i thought the workers were usually there

amber is obviously captivating in this song

she comes in arm and arm with hermes and then she like tries kissing him and he makes a disgusted face at her and walks away so she chases him while shimmying

she gives him her flask and he gives her her bouquet from the beginning in return and he smells the flask and violently leans back with a disgusted face it was so funny

i forgot what she did that made me laugh but when she said “you want stars?” i remember laughing so loud at something she did rip i think it might have just been the way she said it paired with throwing her arms up but i sadly don’t remember

way down(reprise):

when eurydice said “hi i’m eurydice” eva’s mic cut out just for that one line so then when she was like “doesn’t anybody hear me?” her mic was back on i was like lmfao no, nobody CAN hear you it was such perfect timing tbh

at one point she tries to get to the fates at the front and she tries shoving past some workers and they move out of her way in like. slow motion it’s sad

when she tries to go back the workers are forming a line that blocks her

flowers:

legitimately the saddest thing to ever happen to me ever in my whole life ever

i was very sad

very sad

eva’s voice was so soft and beautiful

the “choreo” was so impactful but simple but also super coordinated you could tell it was all very purposeful

what she does with her hands during the “i remember someone” part is so sad and soft but hard to put into words

you could tell that her crying was just eva genuinely sobbing

the workers are all laying on the stage/platform behind her while she sings and they look like they’re sleeping/resting

come home with me reprise:

THE SOFTEST EVERRRRRR

reeve hauls ass through the aisle like i was trying to look for him but he seriously came out of nowhere and bounded down the aisle so fast

i squealed when orpheus picked up eurydice and spun her i knew it was coming but it was too tender and soft for my heart to handle

when she’s like “you heard” the way he said “no” was so matter of fact and he smiled like such a little shit and everyone laughed

their hugs uwu they hug so much

when he spins her around please 🥺

papers:

it was perfectly done

when he said “i’m not going back alone” he stepped forward towards hades and the when he said “i came to take her home” he pointed at eurydice and it turned into a grab hug

he is so sad at the end omfg

during the instrumental is when his cuts and dirt really become obvious bc it seems like the workers are targeting those spots

at one point orpheus is up on the center platform stairs and he throws himself off and timothy catches him like a one man crowd surf situation it was actually funny if it was heartbreaking

nothing changes:

it really seemed like orpheus was going to give up

he was clutching an imaginary injury on his side and breathing so heavily and he seriously looked defeated

i knew what was going to happen and i was still like PLEASEEE don’t give up bb

if it’s true:

magic

pure magic

the vocals had me crying

orpheus is so defeated at the beginning and eurydice is on the work line but she isn’t doing anything but just as she starts working again at a slow pace the other workers start singing and she looks around in amazement

persephone is on the side the whole time watching in awe and disbelief

when the workers really start standing and getting into it eurydice is the last to join them because she literally is in shock and can’t believe it

the workers slowly left the line and were facing the audience and breaking the mold

when they’re all really singing eurydice seriously just can’t believe it she smiles so wide at the audience and covers her hand with her mouth

how long:

not to be repetitive but excellent choreo once again

it’s relatively simple but impactful

i don’t have too much to say bc it was obviously fantastic vocally but if you’ve seen the london boot there wasn’t anything they were really doing much differently (not in a bad way like. they were Great)

chant reprise:

when they come back up singing “if it’s true” they look like a little group of kids scheming to steal cookies or something lmao

when eurydice has to go back to work orpheus holds her hand until the last second uwus

the hades/persephone/orpheus/eurydice placement was perfect and very similar to london if you’ve seen the boot

hard to describe but very well planned

orphydice sounded SO GOOD during during their solo “could i change the way it is?” and they were staring at each other my hearttt

the light. you know the light. it was so fucking bright. i haven’t seen properly since.

everyone on stage was covering their eyes except orpheus who did it like three minutes late

epic 3:

orpheus was So Nervous

after hades says “oh it’s about me” he jumps back from the mic and turns terrified to hermes who ofc just says his classic “go on”

right from “he was like me: a man in love with a woman” he stares at eurydice for pretty much the rest of the song until the spinny lifty part it’s so soft

hades was so betrayed when the workers started singing

and he was furious when he was caught in the middle with orpheus

eva’s placement during this song is very nice. she spends a lot of it behind orpheus during the turning part and it kind of looks like she’s standing behind him as support

the dance is everything you want it to be

so soft and persephone is so fucking excited to be dancing like you can’t just tell she is JUMPING out of her skin excited

eurydice and orpheus keep looking at each other like they can’t believe it’s happening

promises:

when eurydice says “we’ll just go back the way you came” she points back at the aisle he came from originally but it’s kind of funny lmao bc it’s just people there but they both stare like it’s this magical destination

when she says “look at him—he can’t say no” she runs right up to hades and points in his face but he’s too caught up in persephone to even realize

they are so soft like. their little touches give me Life

eurydice sings to the workers and grabs all of their hands while she sings “i don’t know where this road will end, but i’ll walk it with you hand in hand” and it is so very sweet and soft

and when orpheus is on his knees and says “will you let me walk with you” and she turns around and says “i do” the workers all put their hands on their hearts and look at each other like a group of stereotypical teenage girls watching their friend and her bf lmao

word to the wise:

the second hades says “i don’t know” persephone goes from having been hugging him for the past ten minutes to hurling herself to the other side of the stage in two seconds flat

the fates are essentially making fun of orpheus in their gestures and faces and pointing but he’s hugging eurydice who was had her back to the audience but was shaking her head and then you see him nodding and reassuring her

his kiss the riot:

usually not my cup of tea tbh i mostly skip it bc i only enjoy some parts of it mainly the instrumentals but live changed that so much

it was so dramatic and it looked like hades and hermes were having a bro on bro chat

but seriously patrick page had me captivated he did phenomenal

wait for me reprise:

if you aren’t the wait for me reprise don’t talk to me

when hermes says that hades said they could go orphydice is literally already on the other side of the stage trying to leave before he even gets the next line out

when hermes tells them the conditions eurydice steps forward to stare up/at the audience and orpheus stays on the side staring at hermes in the center

when hermes says “do you trust each other?” eurydice still keeps staring but orpheus nods furiously and then he says “do you trust yourselves” and they turn to each other and say “we do”

orphydice is standing next to each other and staring at the audience for the beginning both with very emotional looking faces (although it was getting hard to see through my tears ahsgsjsks)

orphydice is standing in the middle holding hands and then hades and persephone each step forward and grab hands too with the guys and girls each on one side in a fantastic parallel and then all of a sudden when orpheus and eurydice drop hands persephone and hades still hold hands but they switch around so quick so that persephone is next to orpheus and hades is next to eurydice and it was disgustingly symbolic and gutting for me

hades and orpheus shake hands and eurydice and i shook our heads no at the same time

the vocals. the vocals guys.

after watching that youtube video of eva’s part in the song that’s on a loop for over an hour more times than i can count seeing it live was ethereal for me

i couldn’t believe it

i was crying so much but i was also fucking smiling because i was in such awe

when eva jumps so does reeve

eva noblezada is the only person that has rights tbh

doubt comes in:

so we all been knew about the lighting in this song is the most excellent ever

there are a lot of times where not even the audience sees eurydice or you see moving in the darkness but you don’t know if it’s eurydice or a fate or a worker

the drums are much louder and more prominent than in the soundtrack so the steady pounding is MUCH more intense and jarring

when the fates are taunting orpheus he puts his hands over his ears and is super tense and as eurydice sings her first verse he slowly takes them off his ears and relaxes

after her second verse he takes his hands off his ears but stays tense. that’s when i knew i was done for.

for the second half of the song there aren’t as many parts where eurydice is shadowed - making it clear to viewers that she’s there but not to orpheus

at one part in the beginning when she’s right behind him orpheus turns to the audience and eurydice JUMPS back so he won’t see her big ouch

the second i saw the steps light up i was like fuck this i cant

when orpheus comes off the platform to kneel next to the sinking stage him and eurydice fall to their knees at the same time so right when he gets to her she falls faster

the look of agony on her face stepped on my heart and spit in my face

right after there was a lot of whispering and i heard one person in the section next to me whisper “i can’t fucking believe this. i cant do this today”

road to hell 2:

look up pain in the dictionary and it’s this

i was sobbing the whole time

we all know how it goes with this one

after hermes said “to know how it ends and still begin to sing it again - as if it might turn out this time” someone in the theater was like “mmmm mmHHHMMM” like in a “preach” way

when eurydice came out again with her candle and flower the theater was Shook i felt it

i just kept crying and shaking my head no tbh this whole day is a blur but this part specifically is a fever dream

amber and eva’s parts in this song gave birth to me and they were even more majestic live

eva’s voice is the first wonder of the world i swear

we raise our cups:

it’s called Sadness luv

but amber and eva sounded great

everyone looked sad and somber except reeve who was so smiley and proud lmao

when they were passing out the cups andre didn’t get one at first and he put out his arms like “hello????”

it really was gorgeous live everyone’s voices sounded lovely it was just so so so so so so so so sad

and then it was over and i was like Wut The Fuc

[shidiand]

How do you imagine Tenco's Story ending in your head?

that is a GREAT but UNEXPECTED QUESTION freshlybaked "spider" bread and i'm really happy to have the opportunity to try and answer this ageless question that has burned within all of us in the tenco's story iv waiting room community since 2013. it is an incredible coincidence (or is it? 👀) that i was just talking to Risa about tenco's this (edit: yesterday) morning so i am extra double super in the mood to talk about Tenco's Story today. so excellent of a coincidence is this that i am tempted to refer you to them in case you wanted to hear their thoughts on the matter that would probably turn out super cool, but that is neither here nor there; let us talk Tenco's Story.

i of course must mention my unadvertised and modestly detailed commentary on tenco's i-iii at https://shidiand.tumblr.com/tencos, presenting slightly interesting facts in an unwieldy and difficult-to-use format, but as it dates back to june 2017, i want to take some time to understand my feelings about the series once more.

tenco's story is a series that has a lot of meaning to me.

i took on my current name of shidiand in november of 2013. i was still in 11th grade at the time, 4th year of high school, and a very socially isolated person. i should say i was introduced to touhou in 7th grade, 2010, so i was still working through a 3 years-strong phase of trying to simultaneously both find an outlet for and bottle up an endless wellspring of awkward weeaboo-gamer nerd energy at the time.

i had my first real foray onto the internet in 2010, tried out twitter, followed some RPers and other people who had Cool Touhou Usernames. didn't really go anywhere. i had maybe 50 followers, i dont really know the count but it was definitely a) double digits and b) pretty low. didn't know what to tweet about. didn't know how to hit it off with others. i think there was basically maybe only 3 other people i ever properly interacted with. oh shit i was playing league of legends at the time. oh my god. i really did play league of .. oh my god. let's move on.

aw shit im super digressing amn't i. well.

this is just how it goes when i write essays on tumblr.com.

i'm afraid you're just along for the ride at this point so please do your best to enjoy it.

i got kind of tired of twitter at the time because i didnt know what to do with it. didnt know how to interact with people and didnt find the people i was following interesting, so i ghosted on out of there by the end of 2012. didnt deactivate it until like 2015 but at that point that was just burning away my dark history. anyways. november 2013.

--im taking a lot of time here trawling through old files on my computer, my tumblr blog, notification emails still lying around in my gmail inbox from twitter, the dropbox i didn't actually use but it had several tenco's story pictures on it but i deleted them so this was useless, ... to trace the timeline of this story and im really seeing a lot of remnants of dark history here you know? did you know i wrote a letter to a girl i had a crush on valentine's day 2014, slipped it into her locker, and anxiously hung around nearby at lunchtime to see how she reacted at lunchtime? i certainly didn't, or at least i made darn ass sure to forget about this incredible virgin incident and not remember it, ever, until i came across the records of it that i thoughtfully preserved for the me of 5 years later today. ok well now i have to read the letter to see if it was as bad as it just sounded there brb

ok so the good news is that it was actually very focused on being positive and full of admiration for the cool things she did instead of being a confession letter so i am very glad i was able to be a respectful chad 5 years ago, but the bad news is that the jokes, the actual sentences i put together. oh my god. but i mean. well. at least i got the spirit. its certainly a step up from this other person in my grade, WEEABOO ANDREW, YOU MAY RECALL THIS STORY AND HIS NAME FROM PREVIOUS STORYTIMES, THE MAN THE MYTH THE LEGEND who came to school on halloween once cosplaying kirito from sword art online and got very possessive about people asking if they could hold his black replica plastic sword, and probably worse, dropped a "will you be my girlfriend" letter into the locker of my homie and fellow trombonist samantha, who was a little bit nerdy, hung out with the anime-likers who were actually sociable and fun to be around so you can imagine why weeaboo andrew was into her, which had i) a direct quotation from SAO chapter 16.5 (origin of the famous "glopping noise" line), and ii) a condom. jesus christ. i dont want to talk about this any more. next topic.

i also put this drawing of iku nagae and her skarmory (actually an albinoss from 18 DRAGONS) on the other side of the letter because it was the coolest thing i could think of drawing at the time. and i completely agree with 2014 me because it IS super fucking cool. hell fuckin yeah

https://shidiand.tumblr.com/post/76301993387/iku-nagae-ft-that-thing-that-supposedly-is-a

alright that was a fun little trip down memory lane but lets get back on track. november 2013. i started anew as shidiand. still awkward, still learning how to express myself and looking for my place among others. i followed some touhou bloggers, hung around r/touhou a lot as well. in december i got my first tablet for christmas, a wacom bamboo splash. i still use this thing! the usb cable disconnects if you bump it so i have to find just the perfect position to sit in whenever i want to draw, but its served me well. anyways. i was just starting to play around with digital art but i remember, probably just before new years, for some reason i wanted to find out more about tenshi hinanawi (i don't remember why. tenshi wasn't even one of my favourite characters at the time) so i went googling and right there on zerochan i found this:

https://www.pixiv.net/member_illust.php?mode=medium&illust_id=23525572

this was during my dark souls phase so i just went BANANAS at the sight of this. this was literally the coolest image i had ever seen in my internet life. That image alone made me want to draw in hopes that I could make something as cool as that someday.

it wasn't immediately after but i soon discovered tenco's story, and it was love. kannnu was my very first artistic inspiration, and for a long time, my only one. i absolutely idolized them at the time. since then, ive found other artists to look up to, in a more healthy manner, but to this day i still look up to kannnu, still admire their work a lot.

i played around with drawing, followed the lives of people on tumblr, started reading touhou fanfiction, made a new twitter. i met a lot of new people along the way. some people i havent stuck with, some i cut ties with, and some people i still keep in contact with today. over those long 5 years of being shidiand, i found a name (i used to use shidian and then shid, but someone called me shidi once and i realized that was a lot better), how to reach out to others, how to express myself, places that i could feel included in. this is why i owe a blood debt to evelyn, who permitted me to kneel at her throne and was like "yea ok you can join my discord server u seem cool". evelyn, if you were confused by me ominously mentioning this blood debt/blood oath in a tumblr reply 1-2 years ago, this is the context. those 5 years were like a coming of age of sorts, that i never had when i was in high school.

and my love for tenco's story, that inspired me to draw that day, has been with me since almost the very beginning of my time as shidiand. from the beginning, i have always encouraged people to READ TENCO'S STORY, like the kin of those who cry PLAY MELTY or WATCH SYMPHOGEAR. i think my very first sidebar description was something akin to a prayer, written in very choral language, hoping for the day tenco's story iv was completed, ..., "meanwhile, furious shitposting". kannnu's work, finding delight in whatever they chose to draw, has been at my side, all along. my true mentor, my guiding moonlight...

so that's why i still to this day love tenco's story so much.

let's talk about tenco's story.

tenco's story is a story told through single pictures. the plot is vague, and details are sparse. dialogue is rare. we only know what has happened; we seldom know why. furthermore, there are many gaps between scenes that the reader is left to fill in for themselves; we see only snapshots that form an hazy outline of the events that occurred, and must imagine the rest. motivations and explanations fail me. but even with a barebones plot, tenco's story has themes, and if nothing else, those have to be carried through.

the main theme, of course, is journey and travel, but there are also other ideas, too. i actually think they start to change as the series goes on:

book i, where tenshi runs away from home, is about striking out on your own. it's a very fun and unpredictable journey, together with a friend.

book ii, where tenshi and iku are separated, forces tenshi to find and rely on companions of her own even more. but they do so, and they are able overcome hardships, and there is food and festival.

book iii marks a climax, reasserting tenshi's goal of finding the sword of hisou. i feel like the journey shifts from a travel (visiting) to a path forwards (making your way through). perhaps this is just something i get from knowing the locations from dark souls (Anor Londo, New Londo Ruins, the Great Hollow), but the locations start to give more of a sense of verticality, like they're emphasizing tenshi's climb to the summit. the hardships and enemies are the greatest they've been yet, and right when they near the top, tenshi and iku start to bleed. the book ends on an uncertain note.

if i had to describe the type of journey and travel that tenshi and iku undertake, there's this sense of wonder at discovering new places, wandering from vista to vista in delight, but also a sense of conquering, making it through a difficult patch. the sequence from pages 2-44 to 2-51, taken together, convey this sense of overcoming the best. it's one of my favourite parts. again, although the tone definitely starts to lean towards struggle in book iii, i think tenco's sense of wonder really is the heart of the series. there's no map of the world, no predicting where tenshi and iku will end up next. and through their travels, though they come across many enemies, they also find friends -- places of refuge, places full of life, people who will look after them for a few days, companions who will stay with them for the rest of the journey. at the end of book iii, we see a long haired tenshi with purple hair being impaled by the sword of hisou (3-33, see also this extra illustration that risa pointed out to me http://sinnnkai.blog.fc2.com/blog-entry-195.html), and regular short haired tenshi continuing on her journey (3-42). if we ignore the out-of-story images where tenshi has the sword of hisou, tenshi has actually only ever used her sunlight blade (2-24, 3-26, etc), so i think that the long haired tenshi on 3-33 is a different person altogether. (if i had to guess, she might be the purple haired woman in the top left of https://www.pixiv.net/member_illust.php?mode=medium&illust_id=35443328 as we have never seen that woman appear anywhere.) she probably has something to do with the flashbacks at the end of book ii and she might somehow be short-haired tenshi at the same time, but this is just speculation.

however, in 3-43, tenshi's hair is rather blue, so i don't know if this is the purple haired woman or not. if it is, tenshi is probably still fine and closing in on the summit, but if it isn't, then it's very worrying to see a picture of tenshi without any of her companions. it's very ominous.

meanwhile, iku, while climbing the red carpeted corridor, is stabbed, and disappears for a few pages. there's a black page, a shot of a shrine that strongly resembles the hakurei shrine, and a picture of iku standing behind someone in a tux, with the line "In the past, I was saved by the lady I was serving, you see?". and then iku wakes up in a field of flowers.

i think what this scene makes clear is a theme that has continued to appear and reappear throughout every book of "being saved, being aided by someone's kindness".

i think another theme that is implied and has to be addressed by this story of running away from home is "return". something im imagining is that the reason tenshi makes finding the sword of hisou her goal is because she wants to have something to prove herself with, to vindicate her when she comes home. but i don't think she needs to prove anything, and i ultimately think that she would be happier spending the rest of her life exploring.

so i think this should be what happens in the ending.

open on iku's journey, and give her a long sequence of travel without seeing tenshi. underline her newfound resolve. she climbs to the summit with albinoss, and finds the rest of tenshi's companions fallen. and in the last room is sword of hisou tenshi, who has lost herself, and it comes down to iku to bring her back. after a difficult battle, when both of them are on their last legs, iku is unable to stand any longer. but at this moment tenshi sees her companions struggling to get back up and reach her, and that's what brings her to her senses. and iku gets to see how many friends tenshi's been able to make on her own, and they finally and properly reunite. together, tenshi and iku carry each other out of the last room.

i don't think it's necessary to return to heaven. as a conclusion, dedicate some time to tenshi and iku travelling together. they're on their way back, revisiting old friends who helped them along the way, enjoying the journey. their last stop is the house of the elderly nawis (1-42). tenshi shows off the sword of hisou; she decided to keep it not as a trophy to show her family but as proof of the bonds of her companions. surrounded by friends, tenshi and iku decide to part ways with each other, knowing that the other will be alright. iku drifts among the clouds once more, and tenshi sets off for the horizon.

that's the plot that i'd write/just wrote. i don't really expect tenco's story iv to ever come out, though. i mentioned my first sidebar description earlier in this essay, but of course, you can see that it's been changed. 2 years ago, i read my hopeful prayer once more and was struck with a terrible melancholy, so now it reads this: "having come to terms with the fact that tenco's story iv will never be released, i can still live, knowing that the spirit of the journey will live on through kannnu's original works [...] meanwhile, furious shitposting".

on one level, tenco's story is a story, but in the process of following it, i came to think of the work itself as a journey too. you can constantly see kannnu's improvement between and even within each book. they have always drawn whatever they liked; what plot matters in the face of "I wanted to draw a beautiful sky." "I wanted to draw a fantastic battle." "I wanted to draw Dark Souls and Monster Hunter and Pokemon and Brave Fencer Musashi and Bokura no Taiyou and Touhou."

its not really kannnu's style to go back and tie up old ends. they just draw whatever makes them happy. so as i watch them continue to draw beautiful places and fantastic creatures, new characters heading out on journeys of their own or just enjoying their everyday lives, it's as if tenco's story never ended. the limits and consistency of that world ignored, and a new one springs up; in a way, the world of tenco's, which had such thin boundaries, just gets bigger.

but even so, having said all that, i still see them draw that short-haired tenshi from time to time. it makes me happy to see them remember tenco's story with such fondness. often crossing over with orion or roar or elweiss, you can see tenshi on another journey.

[flakandforay]

Smeraldo: the Notes and Webtoon Theory

overall: so bighit started dropping quite a fair bit of Smeraldo notes started posting out of nowehere on 7th Jan, on a Monday to say that there would be about 15 notes to be released. some dates overlapping with the previous ones that have been revealed in the album notes, highlight reels etc and notes released individually later on. sooner or later, the webtoon is also released on 15 Jan which is expected to end on April 11. the day when Seokjin keeps going back in time; or at least when he goes back in time, it just so happens to be April 11. 

warning(s): mentions of death, mental illnesses, abuse, suicide, violence; please do read with care

do support my ko-fi if you can~

theory: generally, you would have realized that bighit is planning something to which they are dropping the Notes (The most beautiful moment in life pt.1) whereas the webtoon is pt.2, and knowing them, there would most likely be a pt.2. this is to which someone mentioned on Twitter that there could be a possibly that pt.2 would be movie and that bight was just testing the responses if bighit does release one for this story. notice how bighit released 2 movies, burn the stage and ly in seoul so you could say this was a marketing practice for them. 

but anyway, bighit drops snippets of the notes for 15 consecutive days. i have no idea why 15, but moving on, it seemed like a lot was planned this year considering that the year 2013; the year that bangtan debuted, and this year 2019, is exactly identical, freaky but still. 

to get yourself more familiarize with what I'm about to talk about, please do look at my masterlist here for the full translations, possibly highlight reel posters and watch the highlight reels. 

someone on Twitter  ( user @/jmxyg ) also mentioned that she did some research to find out that these videos are the ones certified in the Bighit Universe. (BU) 

I NEED U  화양연화 on stage: prologue  RUN  Blood, Sweat and Tears  Wings Short Films  Highlight Reels 起承轉結  Euphoria  Fake Love  Epiphany

im going to go on a limb here and say that in all of these videos, it shows bangtan together, all except for Epiphany. Epiphany seems to the beginning or the end of which Seokjin tries to go back into time to help them. 

but anyway, notice how critical intros didnt make the cut? such as serendipity and singularity, i do think that they are part of the BU but it wasn't of much significance, it shows more of their relationships with their partners or of their inner struggles and has nothing to do with the HYYH storyline at all; hence why it is being cut out.

Euphoria was kept because it kinda of showed a whole alternate universe that i mentioned before in Euphoria theory; do give that a read if keen. it showed sort of alternate endings in which it could be said as though Seokjin successfully went back in time but the pain has been transferred to someone else. 

also notice how none of the earlier eras of bangtan before the most beautiful moment in life are part of it, such as no more dream, N.O. Skool luv affair or dark and wild, so in a way they are just of background information since it talks mostly about school rebellion; to which to some extent is being covered in HYYH: the Notes, but is not of that importance. 

the only one that was important is the BTS Begins VCR with the storage classroom and of the quote inside. (read 1984 theory). 

but also notice, how the the japanese music videos are not part of it, guess they are only focusing on the Korean timelines for now, but i do believe that the Japanese ones are of a different world etc. 

so let’s start start on identifying the various dates that has been mentioned. This includes various years at various timings. If you read my previous theory here; I have outlined overlapping dates for certain members as well.

so I'm going to just go out here and start putting each and every single note that bighit posted. 

So every time that smeraldo notes posted a note, they would acompany it with the relevant video in which I assume that’s where the note came from.

1st Note: Seokjin 2 May YEAR 22

“Would I be able to straighten out the errors and mistakes and save the others? I didn’t grasp the depth and weight of this question.

Video posted is the one from Euphoria; where Seokjin opens the curtains.

2nd Note: Yoongi 7 April YEAR 22

The car had just barely missed me. The remaining buzz of the alcohol made me giddy. Then I realized I couldn’t hear the piano anymore.

Video posted is from First Love, wings short films. Yoongi just avoided the car from barely hitting and crashing into him. 

this could also be seen from the HYYH: the Notes, O version. 

Yoongi  7 April YEAR 22

I came to a stop after hearing the sound of a piano. The only sound that could be heard at the empty construction site was someone popping an oil drum. I knew the sound of the song that I had just played, but why did I think of that? My drunken footsteps stumbled. I closed my eyes and walked even more carelessly. As the heat of the fire grew stronger, the piano sound, the night air, the drunkenness fading away.

I opened my eyes at the sound of horn as a car grazed dangerously past me. In the confusion of the blazing headlight, the wind of the car’s passing and my drunkenness, I stumbled helplessly. I could hear the curses of the driver. As I came to a stop to curse back, I could no longer hear the sound of the piano. In spite of the sound of the blazing fire, the wind and the silence left after the car, the piano sound was gone. It stopped. Why did it stop? Who was playing the piano?

The sparks from the fire picked up its pace towards the oil barrel with one sound together. I could only look at the scene blankly. My face became flushed. Bang, it was at that moment when I heard a fist slamming on the piano keys. Instinctively, I looked behind. For a moment, my blood rushed that my breathing became uneven. The nightmares that I had when I was young. That was where I heard the sound.  

The next moment, I was running. It wasn’t of my own will that I ran towards the music shop and instinctively looked behind. This was something like I had done numerous times. It was a feeling that I had forgotten something important. 

The music store had a broken window. In front of the piano, someone was sitting there. It had been a few years yet I still recognized the person. The person was crying, fists being clenched. I didn’t want to be concerned with anyone’s life. I didn’t want to comfort anyone who was lonely. I didn’t want to mean anything to someone. I couldn’t protect the person and I had no confidence. Until the end, I had no confidence. I didn’t want to give pain. I didn’t want to receive pain.  

I slowly moved. I wanted to go back but before I know it, I started approaching the person. Just then a wrong note was heard. Jungkook lifted his head and looked at me. “Hyung”. This had been our first meeting since quitting high school.

it looks like during this day, Jungkook met drunk Yoongi 

3rdNote: Namjoon 11 April YEAR 22

Seokjin just stood there on the edge of my sight. He didn’t come closer or start talking.

The video posted on twitter is of a separate video but actually it came from the BST JP. MV; interesting that remember how I mentioned that someone tweeted that there are videos being compiled as part of the BU, yet none of the Japanese ones were inside.

To make up for this and to ensure the smooth storyline, they made, trademarked and posted a separate video to go with these notes.

This scene would be familiar to those who read the webtoon “Save Me”; in which Seokjin does appear at the gas station; yet the only difference is whether Seokjin spoke to Namjoon as it lead to a whole ripple of effects.

4th Note: Jungkook 11 April YEAR 22

My phone rang, I came back to myself as if awakened from a long dream. I took out my phone. It was Yoongi.

The video posted was that of Euphoria; the scene in which Jungkook is at the roof of the building and if correct; it was said he would jump off the building and die.

Same thing happened in the webtoon; yet the only difference is whether he jumped off and crashed onto Seokjin’s car or not.

5th Note: Hoseok 23 July YEAR 10

Mom handed me a chocolate bar. “Hoseok, close your eyes tight and don’t open them until you count to ten.”

The video posted was the one from the highlight reel; where he was seen at an amusement park to which his mother abandoned him. Do read my fake love theory on this to understand it clearly.

This is where Hoseok faces his fear of abandonment; through which he relishes through the snickers candy bar and tried to trade it at the magic shop. (read Fake Love Teaser 1 Theory).

moreover, there is some relation in terms of HYYH: the Notes, L version. 

Hoseok  31 May YEAR 22

I reflexively turned my gaze away from the breathtaking wind. After dancing for a long time, often, I am out of breath but it is not that context. I thought I was similar to my mother. No, it wasn’t a thought or a perception, it couldn’t be described or explained. I couldn’t look at the face of my friend that I had known for 10 years already. We learned dance together, failed together, been frustrated and gained strength together. We slumped to the floor that was covered in sweat, we threw towels at each other and cracked jokes. It felt like a bothering sensation that I hadn’t felt in a while, and I hurriedly stood up. As soon as I reached the corner, I leaned back against the wall and stood there. I made an effort to calm my breathing. I could hear, “Where are you going, Hoseok-ah?” The voice. Nevertheless, I thought it could have been a voice. The voice calling, “Hoseok-ah”. A voice that I couldn’t recall now. It was a voice that brought me back to when I was nine years old.

so here, at YEAR 10, Hoseok was 9 years old, that means in YEAR 22, he would be 21, and assuming their real life age holds, their ages goes like this. 

Seokjin - 23 Yoongi - 22 Hoseok - 21 Namjoon - 21 Jimin - 20 Taehyung - 20 Jungkook - 18.

this would make a lot of sense because in the webtoon, it could be seen that Jungkook is still going to high school and following the Korean education system, when they are 18, it is their last year of high school; meaning Jungkook met the boys possibly during the 1st or 2nd year of high school. this is why he probably grew attached to them; especially during the times in the storage classroom. 

6th note: Jimin 28 September YEAR 20

I lied for the first time today. I looked into the doctor’s eyes and pretended to be depressed. “I can’t remember anything.”

The video posted with this is the one of Jimin in his Lie short film. He is seen to be in an isolated room with a Bob Ross painting and he stares into the camera and gives this nonchalant look.

Until now, many have speculated why would there be a need for Jimin to lie considering he already has some kind of illness that caused him to move schools quite frequently when he was young etc. Also, the scene in Euphoria in which as though he seemed to be alone yet sometimes the boys are there probably visiting him etc.

Some armys on twitter have speculated saying that the reason why Jimin lied was to stay in the hospital even longer so that he could be with Hoseok. As mentioned before, Hoseok has some kind of disease and turns out later through these notes, it is revealed he has more than one illness.

the full one could be seen here from the HYYH: the Notes, O version.

Jimin 28 September YEAR 20

I stopped counting the days since I was hospitalized. Counting is something you would do when you want to get out or there is hope of getting out. The trees and leaves were far outside the window and based on the clothes of people, I think that not much time has passed. At most, a month tops. Sometimes I see myself wearing the uniform though it was nothing special.  Maybe it was because of the medicine, everything looked boring and dull. But today was a special day. The kind of day you write in a diary. However, I didn’t have one and I didn’t want the problems that come with writing in one. Today was the first time I lied. I looked at the doctor’s eyes and pretended to be gloomy. “I don’t remember anything.”

7thnote: Yoongi 2 May YEAR 22

The sheet caught fire and instantly flared up. My last sight of this world was this dirty, isolated room, the red-hot flames and rolling heat, and Jungkook’s twisted face.

See here, the video posted was the one from I Need U, in which he set the whole room on fire. But if what im assuming is correct and if what the notes say it’s true, there’s a possibility that Euphoria’s scenes in which Jungkook tried to save Yoongi; the one where Seokjin sees across the window when he opened up the curtain.

Or, there’s another possibility in which what the notes say is of Yoongi’s imagination; in a way he just imagined Jungkook’s twisted face appearing right in front of him and that is assuming he is going to die etc; since mentioned in the Magic Shop book that at times of death; faces of those beloved would appear to them; and if this happens means that Yoongi did die in the end; nobody saved him. 

The part of Jungkook’s twisted face makes me realise that Yoongi must have betrayed him or something to the extent that Jungkook gave a twisted face. Please know that Jungkook and Yoongi are of the original pairing as well from the very beginning.

8th note: Hoseok 10 May YEAR 22

My narcolepsy occurred anytime, anywhere. I always ended up having dreams about Mom when I blacked out. The dreams were all alike. I was heading somewhere with Mom on a bus.

The video posted with this was when Hoseok blacked out along the expressway in I Need U; see many thought he overdosed on pills but little did we know that he was taking those pills as medication but he also had narcolepsy which caused him to faint and black out often.

narcolepsy = a condition characterized by an extreme tendency to fall asleep whenever in relaxing surroundings.

Reference

so, taking this into account along with Hoseok’s Munchausen’s disease which was already revealed in Mama. 

Munchausen syndrome is a factitious disorder, a mental disorder in which a person repeatedly and deliberately acts as if he or she has a physical or mental illness when he or she is not really sick. Munchausen syndrome is considered a mental illness because it is associated with severe emotional difficulties.

Reference

now im thinking, there’s a possibility Hoseok has this in order to stay with Jimin in the hospital but his prime illness is the narcolepsy in which he blacks out and falls asleep. 

9th Note:  Taehyung  20 May YEAR 22 

I wanted to kill myself instead of Dad. If i could, i wanted to drop dead right then and there. 

the accompanying video is that of Taehyung and Hoseok in the room with my guess, Taehyung’s younger sister, to which he was covered in blood. this came from Euphoria, and if this occurred, it meant that Seokjin was able to save Taehyung from killing his own father, and that the HYYH timeline has changed as mentioned in my Euphoria theory. 

see, this is a different parallel to what the webtoon posted; in which originally Namjoon was jailed because Seokjin didnt interact with him as such, hence why he was unable to pick up the phone call from Taehyung when he stabbed his father. This is why he was arrested; I'm assuming for the murder and not for graffiti. 

but now instead of Taehyung being arrested, he is saved in a way, that he won't be going to jail and that upon interacting with Namjoon, he is not in jail right now; sort of saving him as well. 

10th Note:  Jimin 15 May YEAR 22 

“Run, Jimin.” We all started running. I was caught up in the excitement and ran with them. The snacks and plastic soda bottles flew in the air. 

the video posted together is the scene of the boys in Euphoria in the cafeteria. see, here, I'm assuming the boys do visit Jimin in the hospital yet whether or not they knew of his condition, that I am unsure of. 

however, in HYYH: the Notes, it seemed as though Yoongi knew of his illness aside from Hoseok. 

yet, there is a possibility since because of Jimin’s illness is still roughly unknown, he might be hallucinating about these memories, it’s a possibility. 

11th Note:  Jungkook  22 May YEAR 22

At some point, we were all running along the coastal road. I was out of breath, sweaty, and had a splitting headache. But I didn’t stop because they continued on. 

the video posted showed the scene of Jungkook walking along and running along to which the rest of the boys followed. I felt as though you could feel the real brotherhood here. 

12th Note:  Taehyung  22 May YEAR 22

It was like the last scene in my dream. The only difference was that Seokjin was up there instead of me.

the video posted was that in the Euphoria; in which Taehyung and Seokjin switched places. instead of Taehyung committing suicide, Seokjin did. 

interesting that the events sort of changed here, i mean although we know they are from different videos, bighit has decided to string something else instead now, from Jungkook in INU running along to how Seokjin would sacrifice himself on the same day; this is not the same timeline but i guess bighit is forcing it to be since now they allocated years. 

yet, in the original HYYH: the Notes, this happened,

Taehyung 22 May YEAR 22

I passed by a pine tree forest as Hyung picked up a phone call and started to lag behind. Nowadays, there were more times like this. He moved far away so that he could pick up the call where others couldn’t eavesdrop. I deliberately slowed down ad hid myself off towards the ocean. Hyung wouldn’t be able to see me when he passed by. “He’s only one year younger than me. No, I don’t really care. Anyway, I’m not going to be the one taking the responsibility, just do whatever is best.”

Something cold slithered down my spine. It felt as if everything in the world crumbled and crashed with a bang. It felt as if I was floating alone in the deep ocean. It was scary and frightening. I was miserable and insignificant. I was angry. I couldn’t contain my anger. I wanted to cause a scene. I wanted to smash something, to hit something, to wreck myself. I was always afraid. That my father’s blood would run in me. I thought that maybe his violence was what I inherited. It seemed that something was stabbing my tight defenses.

it seemed as though Taehyung was in trouble and most likely Namjoon or Seokjin is on the phone with someone and they're trying to prevent Taehyung from going into jail but the fact that he needs to own up to his mistakes etc. 

possibly, this might be where everything spiraled down and not just on April 11. yet if you look at the Smeraldo notes that was being posted recently, it follows the one of Euphoria, so as to which one is correct or if it’s in sequence, nobody knows. 

it is possibly if these events happened one after another. 

Yoongi 8 June Year 22

I took off my t-shirt again. I looked in the mirror and it was not like me at all. The cotton shirt that was not my type had the word ‘Dream’ on it. No matter how you look at it, the red colour, the word, dream, the shirt didn’t fit me at all. Out of frustration, I pulled a cigarette and looked for my lighter. Since it wasn’t in the back pocket of my jeans, I looked inside my bag. (They) took it away. (They) took it from my hands without any constraint. (They) threw back to me were candy bars and this t-shirt.  

I messed up my hair and stood up when I heard the sound of a message. My heart began to beat faster as at the moment, my hand phone screen lit up brightly with a name that was 3 syllabuses. I broke my cigarette to check the message. In the next moment, I was laughing at the mirror. Wearing the tight t-shirt that had ‘Dream’ written on it, the red colour, I must have looked like an idiot.

here, it seemed as though Yoongi goes under rehabilitation, mostly the juvenile one since he is still in his early 20s but for what, no one knows. 

13th Note: Namjoon  13 July YEAR 22

Several days ago, I’d been here and seen some graffiti. I’d automatically looked around, but Taehyung had been nowhere in sight. I stared at the graffiti painted all over the wall for a while. 

the video posted was the one from highlight reels, in which Namjoon got off a bus stop to find the Save Me, I’m Fine graffiti on. 

i am not sure whether this is the same bus stop that keeps on appearing in Namjoon’s HYYH: the Notes but it’s worth a shot. 

14th Note:  Seokjin  30 August YEAR 22

The bouquet of Smeraldo flowers fell from my hand. She was lying in the middle of the road. Dark red blood flowed down the road. 

the video posted was the one from the highlight reel. sad to say that she was hit by a car as she rushed to meet Seokjin on the other side of the road. in all honesty, I still have no idea who these girls are being part of the highlight reel because originally they are not part of the story which was focused on brotherhood but i guess when they expanded to do other eras, they had to include it somehow in the story. 

yet interesting, based on the HYYH: the Notes, L version, this occurred roughly 2 weeks before. 

Seokjin 15 August YEAR 22 

After coming out of the busy intersection, I came to an abrupt stop as I was about to pick up speed. The car behind me blared its horn and someone spat out curses yet it went unheard in the noise of the city. I took a right turn to an alley corner to see a florist shop. The shop didn’t seem to be opened yet. It wasn’t that I suddenly saw the store but rather it was if I discovered it afterwards.  Inside the florist shop, there was construction still being done and the owner was organizing his documents. At that time, I had no real expectations. I had already travelled to several places, but not one florist knew of the flower’s existence. I could see a flower that had similar colours. However, I wasn’t looking for a flower with similar colours. The flowers had to be real. The owner looked at me for quite a bit when he heard the name of the flower and said that the florist shop isn’t officially open but he could deliver it to me. “Why do you need this flower?” I thought about it again as I turned the handle and got back on the road. I have a reason for needing that flower. There is only one reason. I want to make the person I give it to happy. I want to make the person smile. I want to be seen as a good person. I want to be a good person. 

this was where if you checked the Smeraldo blog post number 8 here, the florist mentioned how someone was looking to order a bouquet of the Smeraldo flowers, to which in this case I'm assuming Seokjin wanted to get to give to the girl yet when he wanted to, as based on the highlight reel, she ended up being hit by a car/vehicle. 

15th Note:  Jungkook 22 May YEAR 22

I didnt tell anyone, but I felt on that long-ago day that I had finally found a real family. Real brothers.

the video posted was the one from Euphoria, instead of Jungkook in the INU clothes, they are in pure white, but are at the same place. true family; truebrothers. 

this line is where it hits home.

but anyway, time to organize the dates now, so there a lot of overlapping dates but all occurring in YEAR 22; the year in which I believe Seokjin begins to travel back in time to save the boys. 

if you see based on the 15th note, it is pretty clear that all the boys are still there and alive but whether or not they are happy is another question. 

basically, the 5th and 6th note, is just background information on the boys but the more important ones are all happening in YEAR 22.

so it starts off with how Yoongi was almost killed in an accident, most likely because he was drunk and on the road on 7 April. 

Yet, on 11 April, the day to which Seokjin keeps going back in time, Seokjin tries to save Namjoon and does so by interacting with him at the gas station. not like the first time in which Seokjin didnt even bother to make conversation or small talk with him.

On the same day, Jungkook attempted to commit suicide by being on top of the building but was saved by Yoongi calling him on the phone. 

now, looking at Hoseok’s notes. 

2 March YEAR 22

I liked being among people. When I left the orphanage, I worked part time at a fast food restaurant, having a knack of making others smile while I work. I liked that kind of work. Actually, in my life, there were very few reasons for me to laugh or to be cheerful. It’s clear that I’ve seen more bad people than the good ones. Maybe that’s the reason why I liked the job. If I smiled brightly, spoke loudly and reacted cheerfully, I could pretend, even to myself, that I felt that way, even if it was deliberately done by me. My mood improved when I laughed loudly, and when I treated people kindly, I became a kind person. Yet, there were hard days as well. After cleaning the store and going back home, even taking a step was difficult. There days filled with fussy customers too. But even so, it was easier to hold it in because of my friends back then, as compared to now.

Sometimes I thought of my friends when I look at the store packed with customers. Seokjin Hyung who transferred schools without saying anything, Namjoon, who disappeared one morning, Yoongi Hyung who was expelled and won’t pick up my calls, Taehyung, who knows, where or what kind of accident is he possibly in now, and Jimin, who never returned to school and the last time I saw him was at the emergency room. I had seen Jungkook wearing the school uniform a few times through the window, but he never visited the store. I wondered if all those times have passed by now.

Hearing the sound of a customer, I gave a loud greeting. I looked towards the door with a bright and healthy smile.

it seemed as though Hoseok reminiscence them a lot, wondering how they are but he is skilled at hiding his emotions, taking on a job to hide away his worries by being around people and hiding from his past. 

looking at Taehyung’s notes now, 

29 March YEAR 22

The gas station owner spat on the ground as he left. I laid down on the ground in the same position that I had crouched in. I was drawing at the back of the wall of the gas station, only to be caught by the owner, who beat me and angrily asked what I was doing, drawing on somebody else’s wall. I rolled around the floor. Getting hit was something that I was familiar and at the same time, unfamiliar with.

I started graffiti not too long ago. I took a spray can that someone threw away and started drawing on the wall. It was yellow colour. I sprayed it whatever I wanted and then looked up at it. I looked at the distinct yellow colour paint on the grey paint, then picked up another spray can. For a long time, I sprayed unknowingly on the wall. Only when the spray cans were all empty did my hands stop. I threw the can away and stepped back. My breath came as though I had been running with all my might.

I didn’t know what the colours on the wall meant. I didn’t know what I had done or why had I done it. But I had done it. I would assume that what I expressed were my feelings. I spewed out my heart onto the wall. Initially, I thought it was ugly. I thought it was something dirty. Something idiotic, useless and pitiful. I didn’t like it. I rubbed some of the wet paint with my hand. I wanted to erase it all. Yet, instead of erasing it, I ended up mixing and blending the colours and moulded different shapes. I sat against the wall. It wasn’t a matter of whether or not I liked it. It wasn’t a matter of whether it was beautiful or not. It was just me.

When I stood up, I coughed. I spat blood onto my hand. Then I saw someone’s hand picking up the spray can. I followed the hand up until I saw a face. I saw Namjoon Hyung’s face. I laughed. I thought I was seeing a ghost. Hyung reached out a hand. I simply looked up at him. Hyung took my hand and pulled me up. His hand was warm.

Taehyung is seen to be caught to vandalize the walls at the gas station and fortunately for him, Namjoon was there, as always. 

on 7 April however, Jungkook bumps into Yoongi who is still haunted by the piano. 

7 April YEAR 22

I came to a stop after hearing the sound of a piano. The only sound that could be heard at the empty construction site was someone popping an oil drum. I knew the sound of the song that I had just played, but why did I think of that? My drunken footsteps stumbled. I closed my eyes and walked even more carelessly. As the heat of the fire grew stronger, the piano sound, the night air, the drunkenness fading away.

I opened my eyes at the sound of horn as a car grazed dangerously past me. In the confusion of the blazing headlight, the wind of the car’s passing and my drunkenness, I stumbled helplessly. I could hear the curses of the driver. As I came to a stop to curse back, I could no longer hear the sound of the piano. In spite of the sound of the blazing fire, the wind and the silence left after the car, the piano sound was gone. It stopped. Why did it stop? Who was playing the piano?

The sparks from the fire picked up its pace towards the oil barrel with one sound together. I could only look at the scene blankly. My face became flushed. Bang, it was at that moment when I heard a fist slamming on the piano keys. Instinctively, I looked behind. For a moment, my blood rushed that my breathing became uneven. The nightmares that I had when I was young. That was where I heard the sound.  

The next moment, I was running. It wasn’t of my own will that I ran towards the music shop and instinctively looked behind. This was something like I had done numerous times. It was a feeling that I had forgotten something important. 

The music store had a broken window. In front of the piano, someone was sitting there. It had been a few years yet I still recognized the person. The person was crying, fists being clenched. I didn’t want to be concerned with anyone’s life. I didn’t want to comfort anyone who was lonely. I didn’t want to mean anything to someone. I couldn’t protect the person and I had no confidence. Until the end, I had no confidence. I didn’t want to give pain. I didn’t want to receive pain.  

I slowly moved. I wanted to go back but before I know it, I started approaching the person. Just then a wrong note was heard. Jungkook lifted his head and looked at me. “Hyung”. This had been our first meeting since quitting high school.

it seems like this the part in the first love short film, where a car almost crashed into him, instead of the music store having a broken window, Yoongi broke it instead. 

it seems like here, alternatively Jungkook was the one who broke the window first. 

however, there seems to be something happening between Namjoon and Taehyung on this day, based on HYYH: the Notes, V Version

Namjoon 11 April YEAR 22

I was looking for a t-shirt for a while until Taehyung reached for a t-shirt behind me. It was a shirt that had the same printed letters as the one that I was wearing right now. With an awkward laugh, he removed the ripped shirt. In the faint illumination of the lights that hung from the trailer ceiling, I momentarily caught a glimpse of his bruised back. Hoseok looked at me with a shocked expression. Taehyung put on my shirt and looked at his reflection in the dirty mirror. Then he laughed.

“This punk. He arrived late after getting caught by the police for doing graffiti.” I pretended to hit Taehyung and he pretended to be sorry. Yoongi Hyung who had been sitting at the corner of the trailer, slowly approached Taehyung and smacked his shoulder.

so that means Namjoon, Taehyung and Yoongi saw each other on this day; yet no one had the whereabouts of Jungkook. 

yet later on at night, Namjoon bumps into Seokjin. 

11 April YEAR 22

I finished with the gas and went in. But something brushed against my face and fell. Surprised, I took a step backwards to look at it. At the bottom of my feet was a crumpled bill. Out of reflex, I bent down to pick it up. The people in the car burst into laughter. I stopped for a moment. Seokjin Hyung was watching me from a distance. I couldn’t lift my head up. What do you do if you make eye contact with people who ride in expensive cars but put down and ridicule others? You have to face them. If you think what they’re doing is unjust, you have to face them. It’s not a matter of bravery, or pride or equality but it is something that needs to be done.

However, this was a gas station and I’m a part time-worker. If a customer threw trash, I had to clean it up. And if they cursed, I had to listen. And if they threw a bill on the floor, I had to pick it up. My body shook with humiliation. I clenched my fists. My fingernails dug into my skin.

At that moment, someone’s hand picked up the bill. The people in the car muttered and left as if the fun in it was gone. Even after they left, I couldn’t lift my head up. I lacked the confidence to look into Seokjin Hyung’s eyes. It wasn’t as though Hyung didn’t know about my cowardliness, my poverty and my circumstances. I didn’t want to show him this explicitly. Hyung stood at the end of my gaze and didn’t move. Neither did he approach me or did he speak.

this is just like the webtoon itself. the day that Seokjin visited Namjoon in the detention centre was on May 22, but the reason why he was there was the fight between him and a rude customer on April 11 which Seokjin eventually prevented. 

yet on this day when Namjoon is in jail, it meant that Taehyung actually killed his father and he was being arrested. so instead of Taehyung dying, he killed his own father. 

this was in line with Yoongi’s Note from the S version. 

11 April YEAR 22

I kept on walking, though I had a sense that Jungkook was following from a distance. As the train tracks stretched out, containers continued to appear. It’s the 4thcontainer from the back. Hoseok said he had plans to meet with Namjoon and Taehyung, and told me to come too. I told him I would come, but I didn’t really intend to go. I hated getting involved with others and Hoseok knew that. He probably didn’t have any thoughts of me turning up.

When I opened the door, I could see Hoseok’s surprised face. Then he discovered Jungkook and approached him with mixed emotions. I passed by both of them and headed to the container. “How long has it been?” I could hear the sounds of Hoseok trying to pull Jungkook and Jungkook being embarrassed.

I could hear Namjoon bringing Taehyung in. Taehyung’s shirt was torn on one side. When we asked what happened, Namjoon pretended to rap his knuckles against Taehyung. “This brat was late because he was arrested by the police for doing graffiti and I had to go pick him up.” Taehyung made an exaggerated apologetic face and talked animatedly how his shirt was torn when he ran away from the police.

I sat in the corner and watched them. Namjoon gave Taehyung a shirt to change into, Hoseok pulled out hamburgers and drinks. Jungkook being in the middle but was unsure of what to do or where to go. Looking back in high school, this was how it was. In the hideout classroom, Namjoon would give Taehyung a talk, Hoseok would move around noisily while Jungkook would hover, not knowing where to go.

How long has it been since we have gathered. I don’t remember it well. How are Seokjin Hyung and Jimin? A thought unlike of mine came to me. This was a place I had come for the first time, but my heart is already at ease.

the idea of brotherhood being family is being re-established here, knowing that despite your whereabouts, as long as you’re with your family, it’s home and puts you at ease no matter what. 

yet at the same time, the whole scene of Jungkook being at the top relates back here, turns out Jungkook was trying to kill himself after being beaten up by some people he bumped into.

the beginning introduced at the Her Notes, 

11 April YEAR 22

In the end, it turned out just like I wanted. I deliberately ran into the thugs on the street and got beaten up till I was satisfied. I laughed while I was getting beaten up, and they called me a crazy maniac. I leaned against the shutter door and looked at the sky. It was already night. There was nothing in the pitch-black sky. I could only see a clump of grass in the distance. It was on the side of the wind. It was just like me. I felt like I was going to cry so I forced myself to laugh instead.

I closed my eyes and saw my stepfather clear his throat. My stepbrother kicked me and laughed. My stepbrother’s relatives looked elsewhere or began to talk useless things. It was as if I wasn’t there, like my existence didn’t matter. In front of them, my mother was at a loss. I tried to stand up but instead dust rose and I coughed. It hurt as if I had been stabbed at my solar plexus. I went up to the roof of the construction site. The night city stretched out in a terrible colour. I climbed up on the railing with both of my arms stretched out. I had one leg out and I almost lost my balance. I thought I could die with just one step. If I died, it will all end. No one would be sad without me.

Answer Notes: 

11 April YEAR 22

I walked on the top of the railing of the roof top. The building had been abandoned while it was in the middle of its construction. When I stretched out one foot in the air, the darkness engulfed beneath me. The night city spread out hazily below the railings. Neon lights, honking horns and smoking dust swirled in the darkness. For a moment, I felt dizzy. I stretched out my arms to regain my balance. Then I thought. It was only one step. If I took one step, everything would end. I leaned my body more towards the darkness. The darkness that started at the bottom of my feet now came up to devour my body whole. When I closed my eyes, the dizzy city, sounds and fear all disappeared. I stopped breathing. Then, I leaned my body towards the darkness even more. I didn’t have any thoughts. No one came to my mind. I didn’t want to leave anything behind. I wouldn’t remember anything. This was just the end.

At this moment, my phone rang. My senses came back to me as though I woke up from a distant dream. My dulled senses returned immediately. I pulled out my phone. It was Yoongi Hyung.

He wanted everything to end but somehow Yoongi sopped him, just like how Jungkook stopped Yoongi on 2 May. 

but in the webtoon, turns out Seokjin stopped him. 

moreover, it seemed as though in the beginning of the day, there is some relationship with Seokjin as well, based on the HYYH: the Notes, E version.

Seokjin 11 April YEAR 22

I came to the sea alone. The blue, broad sea was one that could be opened whenever in the viewfinder as it always had. It was all the same, the light that sparkled from the water, the wind from the pine forest. The only difference was that I was here alone. As soon as I pressed the shutter, the scenery in front of my eyes flickered, that moment, on that day, 2 years and 10 months before seemed to appear and disappear. That day when we were all sitting in front of the sea. Though we were tired and times were rough, we were together.  I turned the car and stepped on the accelerator. I entered the tunnel and passed by a rest stop. When I reached vicinity of the school that we all attended, I opened the car window. It was a night in spring. The air was warm and the cherry blossoms fluttered in the trees that lined the walls of the school. I left and passed several intersections, made several left and right turns. In the distance, I could see the lights of the gas station where Namjoon works.

here is where Seokjin begins to unravel his mistakes by doing things slightly different as seen in the webtoon. 

yet also, here, Seokjin wakes up and instead of going back to the 11 April, he wakes up to 

11 April YEAR 22

The moment I closed my eyes, it was the 4thApril yet again. I opened the curtain with the glaring sunlight entering the room. When I raised my body, I was overwhelmed and closed my eyes. My surroundings changed to one that was of a reddish image and I saw Taehyung’s appearance. He was standing alone at the top of the observation platform at the beach. That happened on 22 May. It was the past and the future, something that already happened in the past but could still happen in the future. It was at that moment I thought everything was resolved.

I saw Taehyung climbing up the ladder as the sun began to set. The sky was still blue but gradually it began to have a red colour seeping in. When I lifted my head, I saw Taehyung climbing the ladder. When he reached the top, he looked down at us for a moment. Afterwards, he jumped. Just like a bird, like he had wings. Then for one moment, it seemed as if he stopped in the air, just like that the mirror cracked, the wind blew the curtains open and my senses came back.

And just like that, I opened my eyes and it was the 4th April again.

based on the webtoon, Seokjin goes back to the 11 April but here in the Notes, it’s the 4 April, which one is exactly true then? 

if you look here, in the notes from Tear, 

11 April YEAR 22 

With a screech, the car had barely came to a stop. I was so deep in thought that I didn’t see the light changing. Students in familiar uniforms were crossing the street and looking at me through the window. Some people were pointing at me. I forced a smile and bowed my head.  

I knew what I had to do. But I wasn’t unafraid. It was more of could I put an end to all these misfortunes and pain? What is the point of repeating the same failure mean that I wont be able to achieve success? But is it telling me to give up? Is our happiness just a meaningless hope? Uncomfortable thoughts like these raced through my mind.  

At some point, I approached the intersection with a gas station and I could see Namjoon filling up some cars. I took a deep breath and slowly let it out slowly. I could see all of their faces when I tried to recall them one by one – Yoongi, Hoseok, Jimin, Taehyung and Jungkook. I changed lanes and then entered the gas station. I didn’t want to give up. Even if there was a 1% chance, I wouldn’t give up. Through the window, I saw Namjoon approach. 

this is when Seokjin knew he had to save them, somehow or rather, he aimed to save 5 of them, all excluding Namjoon from killing themselves etc. at most what happened if Seokjin didnt save Namjoon is that he would end up in jail. 

so this deviates already from the INU timeline in which Namjoon dies at the gas station.

also, if you look at the webtoon, it means on June 12 they went to the beach together, this is before they separated. 

looking at Namjoon’s notes from S version. 

28 April YEAR 22

I knew that something was up with Taehyung for a long time. Even if he pretended occasionally that nothing was wrong, his momentarily actions, expressions or tone would give away his anxiety and the facy that he didn’t know what to do. He was often in and out of the police station and I could see the wounds on his body.  And also, he had nightmares.

The reason why I never really asked, or asked what was going on or telling him to let out everything was because I was waiting for him to do it. On one side, I also doubted if I should be the person to hear his worries. I wanted to be a Hyung to him, I pretended to be an adult, yet, when my friends are having a hard time, I couldn’t protect them. They all looked up to me being an adult yet I am really not an adult. I only hesitated, unable to look directly at what’s in front of me.

Yoongi Hyung died. Taehyung had that nightmare again. I grabbed his shoulders and shook him, he woke up startled and spent a long time sitting and staring into space. He didn’t wipe his tears and mumbled incoherently. He said Yoongi was dead and Jungkook had an accident and I had been caught in a fight. He said that he dream that kind of dream often, that it was so clear that it seemed as if it was real and even this was part of the dream. “Hyung, don’t go anywhere.” Taehyung’s voice wavered anxiously.

this would be in link when Jungkook also wakes up from a nightmare, something similar happened to him that he eventually broke out in a fever as mentioned in the notes. 

on May 2, Yoongi is the one now trying to commit suicide by setting the room on fire but was saved by Jungkook.

on this day, Jungkook tells Namjoon that he wants to be like him but has a nightmare of Yoongi. 

2 May YEAR 22 

I turned my head and was in front of Namjoon Hyung’s container. I opened the door and went in. I gathered the strewn clothes, covered myself in them and bent down. The cold came down on me. My whole body was trembling, I wanted to cry. But no tears came.  

I opened the door to see Yoongi Hyung standing on top of the bed. Flames were coming up from the sheet.  At that moment, my whole body was engulfed in rage and fear that I couldn’t hold back. I wasn’t someone who could speak well. I was slow to express my feelings or to convince someone. Tears welled in my eyes and I coughed yet no words came out. As I ran into the flames, the only words I could spit out in that moment were “We promised to go to the beach together.”  

“Why are you like this? Was it a nightmare?” Someone shook my shoulder and I opened my eyes. It was Namjoon Hyung. I didn’t know why but I felt relieved. Hyung felt my forehead and said I had a fever. Really, that was the case. The inside of my mouth was burning yet I felt unbearably cold. I had a throbbing headache and my throat hurts. I barely managed to eat the medicine that Hyung brought for me. “Sleep more. We’ll talk later.” I nodded my head. Then I said this. “Can I become an adult like Hyung?” Namjoon Hyung looked back. 

on May 10, Hoseok fell on the expressway as such; but he didn't die. 

on 12 May, Hoseok thought he saw his own mother in the hospital as he was being treated for collapsing on the expressway. 

as seen here, and in the webtoon.

12 May YEAR 22

I opened the door of the emergency room and ran down the stairs. My heart was racing as if it was about to explode. The face that I had a glimpse of in the hospital hallway was of my mother’s. At the moment I looked back, the elevator doors opened and people pushed their way out. I pushed desperately among the people. And I saw my mother’s form going into the emergency room doors. Anxiously, I ran down two steps at a time. Without resting, I ran dome several flights.

“Mom!”. My mother stopped. I took another step forward. She turned around. I went down another flight. Her became visible. It was at that moment that my heel of the foot slipped on the edge of the stair and my center of gravity was pushed forward. I closed my eyes tight, bracing myself that I was going to fall flat on my face. Someone grabbed my arm, and thanks to that person, I narrowly avoided the fall and regained my balance. When I looked back, I saw Jimin standing there with a shocked expression. Before I could even say thank you, I turned my head again.

A woman was there. She looked surprised. Next to her was a young boy, staring at me and blinking with his big eyes. She isn’t my mother. I stood at the top of the stairs, blankly staring at the woman’s face.

I couldn’t remember what I said to escape that situation. I also didn’t ask how Jimin appeared there in the first place. My mind was too cluttered to be concerned about the small details. The woman wasn’t my mother. I might even have known that from the start. It had been more than ten years since she had left me alone at the theme park. My mother would have been older by now, and different from what I remembered. Even if I met her, I wouldn’t recognize her. No, by now, I could barely even remember her face.

I looked back. Jimin was following me in silence. Back in high school, after we parted ways in the emergency room, Jimin said he had to stay in the hospital. I thought of how he looked as if he didn’t know what to do when asked if he wanted to get out of the hospital. Couldn’t it be Jimin was trapped just like I was, unable to cling or break away from memories that bind us? I took a step towards him.

“Jimin-ah, let’s get out of here.”

so this is how Jimin and Hoseok got out of the hospital and somehow reunited with the rest of the boys. 

on May 15, it seemed that the boys visited Jimin in the hospital, probably because he was hospital bound and couldnt leave and so they stuck to playing in the hospital’s cafeteria. but eventually as seen here, they all left the hospital. 

15 May YEAR 22

When I opened my eyes, Hoseok Hyung was standing there. The familiar ceiling looked down at me with a familiar darkness. Startled, I tried to sipt up but he placed a finger on his lips. Everyone was sleep, my surroundings were quiet. Hyung immediately offered me a T-shirt, jerking his chin toward the exit of the hospital.

“We all came together” He mentioned that Namjoon Hyung was standing guard while Yoongi Hyung was buying time with the nurses. Jungkook and Taehyung would join us at the elevator in no time. At first, I couldn’t understand what he was saying. Hyung reached out a hand to me, while I was still in a daze.

The day I left the hospital. I had dreamt of that day sometimes. I wanted to leave the hospital and meet my friends. To spend some time with them laughing and talking the way we used to before. But now I didnt know. Was it a good idea to leave? My parents actually hid me in this place and pretended that I was someone who didn’t exist. People whispered I had a mental illness. I don’t know if Hoseok Hyung thought the same. Maybe he thought I was strange, that spending time with me made him uncomfortable.

“Come on, we don’t have time.” Maybe because of Hyung’s urging, the sound of the clock’s second hand sounded weirdly fast. Thump. Thump. The sound of footsteps, like an auditory hallucination, came closer and closer to the hospital room. Hyung and I turned simultaneously to look at the door, then looked at each other. Hyung’s hand was still in front of me.

this is how Jimin got out of the hospital despite being placed there by his own parents hence the story continues into 16 May. 

the reason for Jimin being in the hospital was because of the incident that happened in the flower arboretum when he was young but of course the webtoon didnt specify the events that occurred but there was a pool of blood. 

16 May is when Jimin visits Hoseok’s house which is very high. 

Jimin 16 May YEAR 22

Hoseok Hyung’s house was actually quite high. A rooftop room of a deadlocked house at the end of a narrow, winding alley, some distance from a long street; that was Hyung’s house. When I entered the house, which was just one room, Hyung bragged that it was the top floor in the whole city; from which all the places that we have grown up from could be seen, laid down below our feet. Hyung said that there is so many things to see from this rooftop room. The nearby train station could be seen, and along the train tracks, the containers were also visible, Namjoon Hyung was living in one of those. If I look a little more, the school that we all attend would appear.

After finding the school, I lifted my head and looked at the other side of the city. At the foot of the mountain, there were some large apartment buildings. Right there, that’s my house, no, that’s my parent’s house. I didn’t tell anyone that I ran away from the hospital. If I did, they would have called my parents. Right now, maybe, I don’t know, they might be looking for me. I don’t have the confidence to see them face-to-face. Though I came out of the hospital, there is no way that I’m going home. Even as such, I have no desire to go back to the hospital. But I had nowhere to go and had no money. I stood hesitantly, before Hyung told me to follow him, leading the way, and how we arrived at this place – his house.

My eyes looked back to the apartment houses again. I didn’t want to meet my parents or go back to the hospital even though eventually I had to. I took a deep breath in. It seemed like a thought alone could cause a seizure. Truthfully, I didn’t trust myself enough to endure any other place other than the hospital. I could be rushed to the hospital again. I was so afraid, I couldn’t stand it.

this is how the boys met up after a while, sort of being reunited by Seokjin, and looks like Yoongi knows Jimin’s discomfort about the flower arboretum. 

19 May YEAR 22 

In the end, we went to the flower arboretum. I lied that I don’t remember what happened at that place but I had to quit lying. I had to stop hiding in the hospital and having seizures. If I wanted to do that, I had to go to that place. With that in mind, I went to the bus stop every day yet I couldn’t ride the bus to go to the flower arboretum.  

Yoongi hyung came and sat down next to me after 3 buses passed by. I asked him what he was up to, but he shrugged and said that he was bored and had nothing to do. Then he asked why was I sitting here. I lowered my head and kicked the dirt with my shoes. I asked myself why was I sitting here in the first place. I had no courage. Now I wanted to be fine, I wanted to pretend that I knew a bit, to surpass it on my own, yet in reality, I was afraid. I was scared that I might see something, I couldn’t withstand against it, that I might have another seizure. 

Yoongi hyung looked relaxed. 

as mentioned this could be why the pairing of Jimin and Yoongi came about. ( read theory here )

now moving on to May 20, it seemed as though Taehyung had an outburst. this was from Hoseok’s notes in Tear album. 

20 May YEAR 22 

I took Taehyung and stood facing the police officer. “You’ve worked hard.” Though it was hard to say with my head hung low, it wasn’t that feeling. The police station wasn’t that far from Taehyung’s house. If he lived in the same far-off place, would Taehyung have not been in and out of the police station often. Why had Taehyung’s parents chose a place so near to the police station? Why was the world unfair to such a foolishly kind and good kid. I slung my arm around Taehyung’s shoulders and asked if he was hungry, acting as if nothing much happened. Taehyung shook his head. I asked if he was glad that the police bought him food yet he didn’t answer.  

We walked in the sunlight. In my heart, a cold wind blew. If I feel this way, how would he feel. How torn and broken in his heart? Did he even have any heart left at all? How much torment must be inside? Thinking of all these thoughts, I couldn’t look at him and so I looked at the sky. In the blurry sunlight, an airplane flew past. The first time I had seen Taehyung’s wounds was when he was in Namjoon’s container hideout. I didn’t say anything to Taehyung, who was laughing brightly for getting a t-shirt yet there was a thud in my heart.  

I don’t have any parents. I don’t even have any memory of my father and only up till I was 7 years old did I have any memory of my mother. When it came to pain regarding families, nobody was jealous of me. People told me this. That you have to overcome the pain, accept it and grow accustomed to it. That you have to reconcile to forgive. Only when this is done, you are able to live. It wasn’t that I couldn’t do it because I didn’t know. It wasn’t a refusal since I hated it. Nothing was achieved since I didn’t try. No one told me how to do it. The world gave me new wounds before my old wounds healed. I knew that there wasn’t anyone in the world who didn’t have wounds. But why did anyone need deep ones? Why were they needed? Why did things happen this way? 

“Hyung. I’m fine, I can go by myself.” Taehyung said at the fork of the road. “I know, jerk,” I didn’t pay attention and took the lead. “Really, I’m fine. Look at me, it’s nothing.” Taehyung tried to smile. I didn’t answer him. He wasn’t fine. He wasn’t okay but he couldn’t stand acknowledging it. He was turning away. That was his habit. He flipped up his hood and followed. “Are you really not hungry?” I asked as we were nearing his house. Taehyung smiled his foolish smile and nodded. I watched his retreating back and turned away. The paths that we both walked were narrow and desolate. We were both alone. I suddenly turned to look behind me when my phone rang. 

this reminds me of Euphoria in which Taehyung and Hoseok are in the room. this is probably after his outburst with his father. 

further continuation of Taehyung’s notes are here. 

20 May YEAR 22 

I looked down at my hand. It was stained with blood. Suddenly, my legs had no strength. I started to collapse but someone grabbed me from behind. Murky sunlight was shining through the window. Noona was crying and Hoseok Hyung was standing there without saying anything. The dirty household goods and blanket remained as they were. There was no one there where my father stood. I couldn’t recall how or when he had left the room.  

The rage and sadness of when I attacked him was still in me. I didn’t know what held me back from stabbing him. I didn’t how to comfort my crazy heart. I didn’t want to kill my father, I wanted to die. In that moment, I just wanted to die. I couldn’t cry. I wanted to cry, I wanted to scream, I wanted to kick and destroy and ruin things yet I didn’t do any one of them. 

“Hyung. I’m sorry. I’m okay, so just go,” My voice came out unsteady with how my mad heart is beating. It didn’t seem like my voice. I sent Hoseok Hyung away even though he didn’t want to leave and stared down at my hands. Blood is seeping through the white bandage. Instead of stabbing my father, I fell to the floor with the alcohol bottle. The bottle had shattered and cut my hand. I closed my eyes, yet the world started spinning. What should I think and what should I do to live. When I came to my senses, I was looking down at Namjoon Hyung’s phone number. Even in this case, no, because I was in this situation, I valued his existence so much more. I wanted to talk to him. Hyung. I almost killed my father, the father who raised me, my father who beats me up everyday. No, actually, I killed him. I killed him so many times. In my heart, I killed him so many times. I wanted to die. I really wanted to kill him. I don’t know what to do now, I don’t know. Hyung. I just wanted to see you. 

it seemed like here Taehyung didnt kill his dad, so it doesn't follow the I Need U timeline but rather the Euphoria one instead. hence why Hoseok and Taehyung are paired up as well, coincidence or not. ( read theory here )

now continuing on to May 22 when Taehyung was meant to jump, he had a fall out with Namjoon as seen from the notes in Her. 

22 May YEAR 22

I passed by a pine tree forest as Hyung picked up a phone call and started to lag behind. Nowadays, there were more times like this. He moved far away so that he could pick up the call where others couldn’t eavesdrop. I deliberately slowed down ad hid myself off towards the ocean. Hyung wouldn’t be able to see me when he passed by. “He’s only one year younger than me. No, I don’t really care. Anyway, I’m not going to be the one taking the responsibility, just do whatever is best.”

Something cold slithered down my spine. It felt as if everything in the world crumbled and crashed with a bang. It felt as if I was floating alone in the deep ocean. It was scary and frightening. I was miserable and insignificant. I was angry. I couldn’t contain my anger. I wanted to cause a scene. I wanted to smash something, to hit something, to wreck myself. I was always afraid. That my father’s blood would run in me. I thought that maybe his violence was what I inherited. It seemed that something was stabbing my tight defenses.

Taehyung here felt betrayed but this could lead up to the next part as seen below. 

the before events were seen in Namjoon’s ones from tear album.

22 May YEAR 22 

“It’s barely a year age gap difference. No, who said it? I am the Hyung. I know. But he won’t forever be young. I’m asking if it isn’t it about time he knows something. I get it. No, I am not mad. I’m sorry.”  

I ended the call and looked down at the floor. A sad ocean breeze swept through the pine forest. My chest was stifled that it felt that it might explode. On the ground, half of it was sand and half of it was dirt, some ants formed a line and were heading elsewhere, To someone who was greater than me, both physically and symbolically, would it be clear of where I was going, why I was going and how it would turn out?  

It wasn’t that I didn’t love my parents. It wasn’t that I didn’t worry for my younger sibling. I wanted to turn away if I could, but since I couldn’t do anything but be myself, I wasn’t able to. And so, what’s the point in struggling or being angry, frustrated or wanting to leave?  

I could see the back of someone’s back, standing rooted to the ground just like me. It was Jungkook. At some point, Jungkook said this. “Hyung, I want to be an adult like Hyung.” At that time, I couldn’t say anything. I wasn’t an adult that I was proud of, no, I am not an adult. Saying something like that was cruel. To someone who has yet to receive the trust, interest and affection that he naturally should have, how could I say that getting older, growing taller and living a little more doesn’t make one an adult. I hoped Jungkook’s future would be more kinder than mine, but I couldn’t promise that I could be of help to him along the way. I approached him and slung my arm around his shoulder. Jungkook lifted his eyes and looked at me. 

Namjoon’s notes are always more abstract for some reason i have no idea why. hence why Jungkook and Namjoon are paired as well. ( read theory here )

on May 22 is when by right Taehyung jumps and looking to the events in the day it continues the one from the Euphoria, the whole time I suspected it to be Jungkook to be the one saying it to Seokjin but it seems like Taehyung is the one who was saying it as seen here. the reason why I suspected Jungkook saying it was due to his accident that Seokjin would eventually cause. 

22 May YEAR 22

“Hyung, is that everything? Are you hiding anything else from us?” Our surroundings suddenly grew quiet. Everyone’s gaze turned towards me. I looked straight at Seokjin Hyung. Hyung, too, looked back at me. His gaze was full of exhaustion and shame, and a little bit of pitiful. The moment that I was about to bring up the issue, someone grabbed my arm. I didn’t need to look. I knew it was Namjoon Hyung.

“Hyung, what does it have to do with you? We’re not even real brothers.” I could feel Namjoon Hyung looking at me. I didn’t lift my head and shook his hand off. I knew it too. I was mad at Namjoon Hyung for no reason, repeating the same words that he used when he was on the phone. I said I was angry, that I was upset. Yet, Hyung’s words weren’t wrong. I am barely a year younger than him. I wasn’t his real brother. It was true that I should take care of myself. Regardless, I was upset. I was angrier because I had no words to use against him. I wished Hyung would have understood what I felt.

“Taehyung-ah, I’m sorry. Let’s not talk about this now.” It was Seokjin Hyung who opened his mouth. Seokjin Hyung was the one who called my name, Namjoon Hyung didn’t say anything. “What do you mean, stop? Since it’s already up, let’s talk about it. Hyung, there is still something you’re hiding from us.”

“Let’s go out to talk.” Namjoon Hyung said while he grabbed my arm. I tried to shake him off again but he tried to drag me out. I tried to hold out and spoke. “Let me go. What right to you have to stop me? Hyung, what do you know? You don’t know anything but you think you’re a great guy, right?” It was then then he let go of my arm. When he let go made me stumble. No, it wasn’t just him letting go that made e stumble. But at that time when he did, it was like as if everything that sustained me were cracking, breaking and crumbling down. Maybe I hoped he never let go of my arm. That instead, he would get angry and drag me out. Maybe I hoped that he would scold me like a real brother, as if to someone who was so close and precious that you can’t ignore.

But Hyung let go of my arm. I just laughed. “What’s so special about being together? What are we to each other? In the end, we’re all alone.” That was the moment that Seokjin Hyung hit me.

now looking at the ending, this is where the whole outburst between Seokjin and Taehyung started and though the BST Jp isn't part of the timeline, I believe you should include it in to make sense as to why Seokjin even punched him in the face. 

if only Taehyung knew that only by being together could Seokjin stop all of them from dying but I guess somethings are left to be untold, hence the truth untold maybe. 

on May 31, Hoseok after dancing had a slight trauma etc 

Hoseok 31 May YEAR 22

I reflexively turned my gaze away from the breathtaking wind. After dancing for a long time, often, I am out of breath but it is not that context. I thought I was similar to my mother. No, it wasn’t a thought or a perception, it couldn’t be described or explained. I couldn’t look at the face of my friend that I had known for 10 years already. We learned dance together, failed together, been frustrated and gained strength together. We slumped to the floor that was covered in sweat, we threw towels at each other and cracked jokes. It felt like a bothering sensation that I hadn’t felt in a while, and I hurriedly stood up. As soon as I reached the corner, I leaned back against the wall and stood there. I made an effort to calm my breathing. I could hear, “Where are you going, Hoseok-ah?” The voice. Nevertheless, I thought it could have been a voice. The voice calling, “Hoseok-ah”. A voice that I couldn’t recall now. It was a voice that brought me back to when I was nine years old.

here, it seemed as though Hoseok is out of the hospital but it follows that of the highlight reel in which he and the girl are practicing to which later on the other notes mentioned that how Jimin isn't in the hospital anymore but is out dancing and that he is jealous of Hoseok. 

right now, I am just disregarding all those that happened before YEAR 22 because they all just give background information on each of the boys and as to why they behave and act as such, so please take this into caution. 

time to look at the notes from Her album, 

Yoongi 8 June YEAR 22

I took off my t-shirt again. I looked in the mirror and it was not like me at all. The cotton shirt that was not my type had the word ‘Dream’ on it. No matter how you look at it, the red colour, the word, dream, the shirt didn’t fit me at all. Out of frustration, I pulled a cigarette and looked for my lighter. Since it wasn’t in the back pocket of my jeans, I looked inside my bag. (They) took it away. (They) took it from my hands without any constraint. (They) threw back to me were candy bars and this t-shirt.  

I messed up my hair and stood up when I heard the sound of a message. My heart began to beat faster as at the moment, my hand phone screen lit up brightly with a name that was 3 syllabuses. I broke my cigarette to check the message. In the next moment, I was laughing at the mirror. Wearing the tight t-shirt that had ‘Dream’ written on it, the red colour, I must have looked like an idiot.

I'm assuming this is the period that Yoongi goes into rehab for being an arsonist by setting himself on fire, or at least attempted to but somehow was saved by Seokjin. 

based on the notes in Tear, 

Yoongi 15 June YEAR 22 

I wasn’t aware of what is happening but just the sound of music playing in my head. No matter how much alcohol I drink, or where I am, what I am doing is more important. If you want to know, it isn’t important. With faltering steps, I went out into the night. Just walking among the dust. Be it on the street, the street stall or the wall, I hit it. It didn’t matter. I just wanted to forget everything.  

Jimin’s voice was still ringing in my ears. “Hyung. It’s Jungkook.” The next thing I remembered was going up the stairs in the hospital as if I was mad. It was a dark and weird pathway towards the north of the hospital. People who were wearing patient gowns walked past. My heart was racing. Everyone’s faces were pale. They had no facial expression. They all seemed as though they were dead. In my head, my breathing became more ragged.  

I opened the door of the ward where Jungkook was lying down in slightly. I, myself, don’t know why but I turned my head away with a jerk. I couldn’t look at him. In that moment, I could hear the sounds of the piano, fire, the collapse of the building into pieces. I couldn’t even stick it up for him. I then thought,”It was because of me. If I wasn’t there, this wouldn’t have happened.” It was my mother’s voice, no, my voice, no, it was anybody’s voice. I couldn’t say anything during that painful time. I didn’t want to believe it. But then, Jungkook was lying down there. He was lying down with patients who looked dead passing by. I just couldn’t go inside. I couldn’t even confirm it. When I stood, my legs wanted to give up. I left with tears streaming down my face. I forced myself to laugh. I couldn’t even remember the last time I cried.  

As I crossed the pedestrian crossing, someone grabbed my arm and I stopped. Who was it? No, it didn’t matter. Whoever it was, it was all over. “Don’t come to my side. Go. Please just throw me away. I also don’t want to hurt you. I don’t want to be hurt. And so, please don’t come near me.”

here, Yoongi blames himself for the cause of Jungkook’s accident so it seems as though the accident with Seokjin was one on 11 April, but Jungkook got into another one later on in June, beyond what possibly Seokjin could control. so technically, Seokjin didnt cause this accident. 

the person who grabbed his arm is the girl that he spends time with in the highlight reel, the whole pedestrian scene being protagonist here. 

for Taehyung, the idea of the girl following him based on the highlight reel could be seen here. 

Taehyung 25 June YEAR 22

I deliberately delayed my steps as I sensed to the small steps that was following me. This was the 3rdtime already at the convenience store. If there was something different, it was that today they ran away when they saw me. They hung around a vacant spot behind the convenience store but as I turned up, they hid themselves again. They hid themselves well but their shadows were reaching to the front of the store. I let out a laugh. I pretended that I didn’t see but they began to follow me.

I entered a narrow alley. This is the only place in the neighbourhood without a broken streetlamp. The alley was long and the streetlamp was somewhere in the middle with my shadow stretching. The shadow now stretches behind me. It could have been stretching all the way to the person who was following me with ragged breath. I started walking a little bit faster. As I passed the streetlamp, my shadow disappeared beneath my feet. Not long after, a shadow that wasn’t mine appeared on the cement floor. I stopped walking and so did the movements. The two shadows of different heights stopped side by side.

I said, “I’m going to wait until you come here.” The shadow behind me leaped out of shock. Then it became still as if it wasn’t here. “I can see everything.” I pointed to the shadow. The footsteps became nearer and deliberately were noisy. I laughed.

the scene of her following Taehyung wherever they went, from one meeting at the convenience store to that at the train tracks. interesting that Taehyung has a keen eye on his surroundings. 

Namjoon 30 June YEAR 22

I looked a bit strange as I pushed the open button of the door as if my own hands had a will of their own. There are these kind of moments. Moments that I felt have repeated for numerous times, though it was the first. The elevator door close before they opened again for people to push their way in. Among them, I looked for the person who tied her hair with a yellow rubber band. I didn’t press the button knowing that the person would be there, but I thought the person would certainly be there. I moved back, one step at a time. When my back hit the cold elevator wall, I looked up and saw the yellow rubber band.

A person’s back tells a lot of stories. I had known a few of them. There were some that I could guess yet there were some that were left alone after everything is over. I thought that you know someone when you can read everything just from his back. Then, wouldn’t there be someone who would know me just from reading my back? As I lifted my head, our gazes met in the mirror. In a flash, she avoided my eyes. This kind of thing happens often. When I lifted my head again, I only saw my face. I couldn’t see my back.

here, I'm not sure why Namjoon even mentioned this, just like what I explained in 1984, i guess he is talking about body language. i figure the back is somewhat by being able to read it, means you've known what the person is really feeling, in a way to say that the person let his guard down unknowingly. 

continuing from the Hoseok story on 31 May, it is clearly seen on 3 July, Jimin dances together with him and some sort of rivalry forms but has also been extended to the girl that they both like based on the highlight reel.

Jimin 3 July YEAR 22

In the end, I sprawled onto the floor. I turned off the music and my surroundings went quiet, all I could hear was the beating of my heart. I pulled out my hand phone and played the choreography dance video that I had learned in the morning. Hyung’s movements were so smooth and accurate in the video.  That was the result of his countless hours and sweat of practicing, and now since I wasn’t anywhere near as him, I was jealous. However, understanding and hoping are different and so I sighed often. Again I stood up. I imitated the turn as he had done it but I kept twisting my steps. I kept on making mistakes at the parts where we have to match the flow. We decide to match again tomorrow but until then I wanted to be seen as serious. Rather that a playful phrase, I wanted to be complimented as ‘better than expected’, I wanted to be recognized as someone who was equal and serious, one that could match with hyung.

in the HYYH Tear notes, Hoseok‘s notes come about and it’s about the girl agin in the highlight reel. 

Hoseok 4 July YEAR 22 

I was standing in the hallway the whole time she was receiving first aid. Though it was in the middle of the night, there were many people hovering around. I was soaked to the skin by the rain and my own sweat that  my hair was dripping with it. I shook off the sweat and rain off my hair and put down the bag that was with her. A diversity of things came out tumbling out of it. Coins rolled onto the floor, even a ballpen and a towel fell out. In the middle, there was a airplane e-ticket. I picked it up and read it briefly.  

Then, the doctor called me. He told me that she had a mild concussion and that it’s nothing to worry a lot about. Soon later, she came out as well. “Are you alright?” She said that her head hurt slightly and she took her bag from me. She saw that the e-ticket was peeking out and looked at my face. I changed the strap of my bag slung onto my shoulder and pretended that I didn’t see anything and said that we should go. It has been raining for some time already when we came to the front door. I stood at the front of the door.  

“Hoseok-ah”. She called me. Her facial expression told me that she wanted to say something. “Let’s wait a while. I’ll buy an umbrella.” I recklessly ran into the rain. There was a convenience store far off in the distance. I knew that for some time ago she entered an overseas dance team audition. The airplane ticket meant that she made it. I didn’t want her to say it. I didn’t have the confidence to congratulate her. 

this was like in the highlight reels where Hoseok carried her in the rain while Jimin suffered when he scraped himself against the nail.

on this day as mentioned, Jimin comes into play as well. 

Jimin 4 July YEAR 22 

By the time I came back to my senses, I washed my arm so much that I was losing skin. My hands trembled and I was out of breath. Blood ran down my arm. Looking at the mirror, my eyes were bloodshot. The incident came back to my in fragments.  

In that moment, I lost my focus. It was during the dance when I wanted to match the dance with Noona from a dance club that I lost my flow and collided into her. I fell to the rough floor and my arm started to bleed. I suddenly remembered what happened at the flower arboretum. I thought I had overcome it. But then, that wasn’t the case. I only ran away. I had to wash it away. I had to look away. The me in the mirror was the same 8-year old me who ran away in the rain. Then I realized it. Noona fell down as well.  

There wasn’t anyone in the practice room. I saw the door open ajar with the rain falling outside. I could see Hoseok hyung running. The rain was pouring onto him. I ran after them with an umbrella. I ran. In the end, I stopped and stood there. 

I couldn’t do anything. All I could was fall and hurt someone, leave them behind with a part of my pain and then run after them too late before stopping. I turned around. Every time I took a step, rain water soaked my sneakers. Car headlights passed me. I wasn’t okay. No, I am fine. I wasn’t in pain. This much isn’t an injury. I was really fine. 

this was a trauma that Jimin encountered that brought him back to his 8 year old self, the whole reason why he was being kept in the hospital by his parents for years. 

yet what happened at the flower arboretum is still unknown. 

so next is Namjoom, it seems like he follows the girl closely as such based on the notes, 

Namjoon 13 July YEAR 22 

I leaned against the window of the bus. From the library to the gas station. The familiar scenery passing by the window since I take this route everyday. Will the day come for me to leave this scenery behind? I felt that it was impossible to predict what tomorrow would bring. 

In the distance in front of me, I could see a lady wearing a yellow hair tie. Her shoulders liften and dropped as though she exhaled. She also leaned against the window. It has already been a month since we studied at the library and took the same bus from the station. We hadn’t spoken a word to each other, but we look at the same scenery together, lived in the same time and sighed the same sighs. The hair tie was still in my pants’ pocket.  

The lady always dropped off three stations before me. I always wondered whether she would be distributing flyers there. What kind of things does she spend her time doing, what are the things that she’s enduring? How much has she been thinking that tomorrow might not come, or that from the beginning, there was never such a thing called ‘tomorrow’? These are what I thought about.  

The station that the lady would drop by was approaching. Someone pressed the stop button and other passengers got up from their seats. However, in the midst of this, the lady didn’t move.  Her head was just still against the window at where she sat. Time still passed. I went to get closer to her. In that moment, I was conflicted. The bus stop came near. The lady was still as how she was in the beginning. People got off the bus. The doors closed and the bus began to take off.  

It has passed 3 bus stops but I didn’t want to wake her up. As I moved to the exit of the bus, I fought with myself again. It was clear that if I got off, no one would pay attention to her. She would wake up somewhere far from her stop and that it would be much more tiring today for her because of it.  

I dropped off from the bus and the scent of the gas station started to waft through the air. The bus took off and I didn’t want to look back. I left the hair tie on top of her bag. That wasn’t the start but it wasn’t the end either. From the beginning, nevertheless, there was no whatsoever reason. I just thought that nevertheless, it didn’t matter. 

personally I find Namjoon’s notes the most confusing one as there is barely much relation to the storyline as such. 

his character development throughout the timeline wasn't much, it wasn't deeply explained unlike the others. 

moving on, based on these notes, it is true that Jungkook was hit by the car since he ended up in the hospital and assuming that he was hit on April 11, it is possible that he was hospitalized for longer periods of time. 

Jungkook 16 July YEAR 22

I stood at the window and sang a bit to the song playing in my earphones. It has already been a week. Now I don’t need to see the lyrics to sing along. I took out one side of my earphones so that I could practice listening to my own voice. (someone) said that they liked it because it was beautiful but it only made me scratch my head in embarrassment. The July sunshine entered the big window. The green leaves of the trees flew and shone in the wind and everytime it fell on my face, it felt different. I closed my eyes. I sang while looking at the yellow, blue and green colours behind my eyes. Whether it was the lyrics or the sunshine, something tickled and stung my heart.

based on these research, it is typical that any car accident patient would sustain injuries depending on severity etc, but clearly Seokjin did manage to save him in a way that Jungkook doesn't die but is still alive and is hospitalized.

on 17 July, it’s like the highlight reels here. 

Taehyung  17 July YEAR 22 

My side hurt so bad that it felt as if it was torn. Sweat trickled down my face. The corners of the railroad tracks, the vacant lot behind the convenience store, at the upper road – she was nowhere to be seen. Though I came behind the bus stop, of course, she wouldn’t be there. The commuters who were waiting for the bus were looking at me weirdly. What could I do? We didn’t promise to meet, but it was strange. She was always making appearances from somewhere and followed me around. Even calling her annoying was useless. Yet, the places that we went together, she wasn’t there.  

I stopped walking upon the front of a familiar wall. This was where we did graffiti together. This was her first drawing. On top of it, there was a large X mark over it. It was her. There was no way I saw her do it, but I knew it was her. Why? I don’t have an answer. Instead, several after-images that were scary overlapped on the wall.  

She laughed at me on the day when I hit my head against the railroad tracks as I lied down. Her helping me up as I helped her run away, her angry face when I stole and ate her bread. Her solemn expression when we passed by a photo studio with a family portrait in the front window. Her gaze on the students that we passed by, even she was oblivious to it. This wall was where we sprayed together as I said this. “If you have a problem, tell me. Don’t grumble about it to yourself.” This X was drawn all over these memories. It seemed to say that it was all fake. That it was all lies. Without even realizing it, I made my hands into fists. Why? Of course, I didn’t have an answer. I walked back. I was alone again. Me, and her.

the scene of the railroad tracks etc and running away from the police would happen later on

Namjoon 20 July YEAR 22

I skimmed across the magazine advertisements and lifted my head. There were so many different faces of those who sat at the corner table the last few days across me. A thick book, large bag and a white paper cup alike but it still wasn’t her. Again, I went back to skimming the magazines. I had been looking at the same page for more than an hour. Because of the repetitive thoughts, my eyes couldn’t pick up the letters at all. I asked myself why am I sitting here. No answer came to me. Amongst those who were engrossed in something, I was lethargically looking through a magazine. I felt impatient for something to start. This isn’t how it is meant to be.

I returned the magazine and continued to walk across the bookshelves The books were in rows on bookshelves taller than I was. From the open window, a breeze blew, the smell of books wafting and the dust hovering. I thought about my high school years again. My friends and I, together, in that hideout classroom. At that time, it smelled the same. Had the ‘Current Me’ grow from the “Then Me’? I couldn’t be sure of it. Regardless, it could be that everything of me had stopped at that time since back then. I moved to the opposite bookshelf. I picked up a book I used to study back then. I had to start again. From everything I had given up, one at a time.

Namjoon’s notes were always more self reflective on himself, it wasn’t so much about how the story line went as in the universe of the HYYH. 

Jungkook 26 July YEAR 22  

Quietly, I plucked a flower from the hospital’s flower bed. Every time, laughter comes out from the head that was bent down. The sunshine was shining so bright that it hurts the eyes. Though I knocked the hospital ward’s door, there was no answer. I knocked again, this time, it opened a bit. Inside the ward, there was just a sheet. And, there was no one there. There was just a very quiet and dark bed. I left the hospital room. That was where I met her personally when I was bored and was pushing my wheelchair in the hallway. She appeared so suddenly that I barely had time to stop. When I left the hospital, I saw a bench. I remembered that whenever we were together, we would sit and listen to music and even draw. We even drank strawberry milk together at the rooftop. I was still holding the flower from earlier but now I had no one to give it to. 

here Jungkook is trying to find the girl that he befriended in the hospital but of course to no avail, she wasn't there anymore. what happened to her remains a mystery, not sure if it is crucial or not. 

Jimin’s notes follow next. 

Jimin 28 July YEAR 22

Today, I am left alone in the practice room. It was past twelve and the trains would have stopped running. Actually, I was waiting for the trains to stop running. That way, I could be left completely alone in the practice room. When we practiced together, my eyes were only focused on the areas where I lacked. That’s why I was restless, I was afraid. Yet, no matter what, I wanted to do it. So I stayed by myself every night.

As my days were spent like this, interestingly, the fear in my heart disappeared. Only the truth of dancing being fun remained. For a long time, I believed that the small, weak and powerless me was real. When I danced, I ended up thinking of my weight of my body or the length of my arms, speed or strength that I could make. When I danced, I didn’t feel small or weak. My skills improved greatly as much as I have practiced. The movements that had been stuttering at first were now being connected. I have grown. Even if the growth was as a fingernail, but I was still growing. I became aware that I was in reality, a talkative person. I knew that. When I danced, I was able to speak whatever I couldn’t say or hadn’t said. When I started to dance, for the first tine, I started to like myself.

Seems like this follows in suit to the highlight reels. 

Taehyung’s notes brings us back to his vandalism endeavors but now related to the girl as seen in the highlight reel.

Taehyung 11 August YEAR 22

As I turned around, I discovered some words underneath the ‘X’. It was a short sentence scratched onto the wall, saying ‘It wasn’t my fault.”. It was that kid. I didn’t see her, nor did I know her handwriting but somehow I knew. It looked her last greeting. Saying that her leaving wasn’t because of me. That the things that made her ‘fall’ was not because I was a bad person. It seemed like it was telling me not to blame myself or to be hung up on it, but instead to have courage.

When I finally got back to my senses, I was in front of my house. From the outside the door, I could hear Noona’s scream. I flung it open and entered. A familiar scene was laid out. I blocked my father. I grabbed his arm and look right at his face. Initially, he seemed to be shocked, but then he swing his fist. This is not the first time that I was knocked out. Noona’s crying became louder. My chin hurt.  The smell of dusty metal came from my own mouth. Yet, I didn’t give up. I grabbed my father’s waist. He gave off an angry scream. He mercilessly hit my back and shoulders but all the more I held on to him even tighter.

It wasn’t that it didn’t hurt. It wasn’t that I wasn’t scared. But if I let go, the same daily cycle would repeat. I wanted it to be different. I wanted to change it.

No. I’m different from my father. I’m going to protect our family.

It seems that Taehyung is trying to break the cycle of his abusive father, remember how he had his outbursts in the earlier months of April and May etc. not sure if this is after Taehyung killed his father or if he didnt even kill his own father hence either the I Need U timeline or the Euphoria timeline.  

on this day, Jungkook is also a crucial character. 

Jungkook 11 August YEAR 22

When I looked back, the hospital is really far away. I could no longer see the bench where I had left the wildflowers, neither could I see the window through wish I watched the river with the kid. As I reflected, that kid was a space for me to breathe in this stuffy hospital life. As we set on the hospital bench in the late afternoon talking about this and that, the sun had set. I told her about playing in the hideout classroom, going on a vacation to the beach and walking all the way up till the train station. She told me about all of the corners in the hospital , which window that you can see the river from, which staircase you could use to secretly climb up to the roof. There was nothing she didn’t know about the hospital.

Her hospital room was empty. Had she been discharged, or moved to another hospital? I asked the nurses. But none of them could tell me. For some reason, a corner of my heart felt empty. I turned around and just kept walking. From a distance, I could see the school. It seemed like most of the things I talked to her about was involved the Hyungs, and almost every single story started with them. To me, when I was alone, the Hyungs became my friends and family and teachers. My story was within their stories, and I only existed inside a relationship with them.

Yet, at some point, I started to think as such. That there may be a day where they would no longer be at my side. I might go looking for them to find out they’re gone, without any reason. Or maybe something even more could happen, I didn’t know.

I thought of that night. When the huge moon rose in the sky, the world turned upside-down, the headlamps I saw from an inverted view, the shape of the car that passed by me and eventually disappeared. The sound of the engine, which was familiar to me for some reason. I didn’t want to jump into conclusions. But even so, I just kept thinking of that moment.

following these notes would mean that Seokjin was the one who did end up colliding into him but not enough to kill him, and if assuming from this loophole that Jungkook didnt die entirely, guess Seokjin decided to crash into him to give some minor injuries and not entirely enough to kill him hence altering the timeline after all. 

looking at Hoseok’s S version of the notes. 

Hoseok 13 August YEAR 22

Jimin and the kid was standing in the middle of the practice room. The 5-second wait after the beginning pose always seemed long. As soon as the music flowed from the speaker, the two of them started the first move. It was the choreography that I had practiced with the kid not too long ago. I sat on the floor of the room and monitored.

When I first found out that I couldn’t dance for the time being, because of my ankle, it had been really difficult. It was suffocating that I could only watch others dance. But as I helped Jimin practice and watched him grow, a realization dawned on me. The fact that I cant dance by myself wasn’t a big problem and that I could be happy by continuing with dance in other ways.

When I practice with Jimin, I didn’t let even the smallest mistake go by. Jimin sometimes subtly missed the timing or made movements that are smaller than what I expect. At those times, I stopped the music and scrutinized each move, one by one. But when I sat on the floor, as some kind o audience, and watched from here, Jimin’s dance looked different. I saw something bigger than just his small one-by-one movements. Things that I initially thought and dismissed of as mistakes when we practice together dawned on me differently. Such trivial mistakes and imperfections instead came together to give off a unique feeling. Of course, it would be different than mine, but Jimin had his own timing and own expressions. Jimin’s dance was bright and touches the heart just the way it was.

The music ended. Jimin’s dance ended as well. I saw that his face was shining with excitement and joy. The kid was standing next to him. The kid would be going overseas soon. Suddenly, we locked eyes. I gave a thumbs-up and the kid gave a big smile. It was strange. The kid didn’t look a thing like my mother. I can’t even remember my own mother’s face, so why did I think they looked similar? Suddenly, something in my heart ached. My to-be healed ankle twitched.

this relates back to the highlight reels scene, when he and Jimin practiced dancing. 

15 August YEAR 22

on this day, Seokjin drives out of the intersection and is in search of the Smeraldo flowers, but as to why he needed it to give to the girl, I have no idea, right now I'm just assuming they are lovers. 

looking at the Notes from Her Album, 

Seokjin 15 August YEAR 22 

After coming out of the busy intersection, I came to an abrupt stop as I was about to pick up speed. The car behind me blared its horn and someone spat out curses yet it went unheard in the noise of the city. I took a right turn to an alley corner to see a florist shop. The shop didn’t seem to be opened yet. It wasn’t that I suddenly saw the store but rather it was if I discovered it afterwards.  

Inside the florist shop, there was construction still being done and the owner was organizing his documents. At that time, I had no real expectations. I had already travelled to several places, but not one florist knew of the flower’s existence. I could see a flower that had similar colours. However, I wasn’t looking for a flower with similar colours. The flowers had to be real. The owner looked at me for quite a bit when he heard the name of the flower and said that the florist shop isn’t officially open but he could deliver it to me. “Why do you need this flower?” 

I thought about it again as I turned the handle and got back on the road. I have a reason for needing that flower. There is only one reason. I want to make the person I give it to happy. I want to make the person smile. I want to be seen as a good person. I want to be a good person. 

so here, this is when Seokjin picks up the bouquet of the Smeraldo flowers and he intends to give it to the girl who could be seen from the highlight reels, and who we would see later would be in a car accident. 

look at this from S version of the HYYH the Notes.

Seokjin 30 August YEAR 22

She seemed flustered when she thought she lost her diary. Her favourite movie, her favourite place to go, her favorite flowers to even her dreams appear on every future page being turned. It was something that I had done for her. The words ‘Sorry’ didn’t come out easily. The red diary laid between us at the intersection.

I wanted to give her happiness. I wanted to make her laugh. I wanted to be someone she would like. I thought that if I followed the words in the diary, I would be that person. But that wasn’t the case. I became more scared when I became someone else. I really don’t want to be caught (for being me). I don’t want disappointment to follow afterwards. Desperately, I turned my head away to hide myself. But just as one cannot put a full stop to a sentence without subject, the me who could not improve himself and continued to wander in the same place.

Now, I know. The me who lacks, makes mistakes and fails is all part of me afterall. No matter how cruel or how merciless things are, by being true to myself would I, only be able to move forward. I stood up from my position and she didn’t try to grab me.

I walked out to the street and removed my hat. As I run my fingers through my hair, all the time spent trying to be someone else slipped through my fingers. I lifted my head and saw my reflection in the mirror. A frail face, pale lips and thin shoulders. I looked unkempt. I laughed. The me in the mirror laughed too.

the introduction of his lover/partner is back, much like the highlight reels. 

anyway, looking at the notes from Tear, on this day Seokjin seems to realize that the girl has died right in front of him. 

Seokjin 30 August YEAR 22 

Can anyone remember the moment they fell in love. Can anyone predict the moment this love ended. What is the reason that humans are not be able to recognize these moments. And why was I given the power to undo all these things? 

The car comes to a sudden stop, headlights flashing, bouncing, falling. The one who was standing there amongst the noisy moments, defenseless, was me. I couldn’t hear anything, I couldn’t sense anything at all. Though it was summer, the breeze was cold. There was the sound of something tumbling down along the road. Also, there was a scent of a flower. It was only then did a sense of reality came back to me. The bouquet of Smeraldo flowers fell from my hand. The lady was the only one in the middle of the road. Blood was spilling out from her head. Dark red blood was flowing onto the road. I thought then. If only I could turn back time. 

this is as seen in the highlight reels in which he was supposed to give the flowers to her but when she crossed, a car hit her. 

I believe that the whole HYYH timeline was initially about brotherhood, hence the whole high school context and their crap together hence all these fond memories and pairings. 

anything before YEAR 22 could be treated as background information, mainly context on all the stories of the boys and to understand the nature of their pairings, be it originally from I Need U or the ones in the Wings concept photos. 

but amidst everything, if you compare the notes with the webtoon, April 11 YEAR 22 is the most overlapping factor. 

May 22 YEAR 22 is when Taehyung supposedly dies; or commits suicide, yet when you see in Euphoria, assuming it’s the same date, Seokjin takes over or kind of replaces him instead. 

every time Seokjin’s face cracks or any part of him cracks, he goes back to April 11, assuming its April 11, as if his reality shatters. it’s almost like a sick game. this could be seen in Blood, Sweat and Tears and Wings VCR Tour. 

hence maybe why in BST, his face cracks more often. yet until now I cant figure out the reason for the huge pile of clothes etc from Spring Day. but time to think about it. 

but everything beyond that around June/July, HYYH timeline shifts and is more centered around the boy’s relationships with the girls.. hence highlight reels.. 

I honestly don’t think this whole concept mattered in the first place but it’s kinda forced in since they went through with it now lmao, as in the concept of introducing lovers inside. I think the reason why they introduced this is because of the whole idea of love yourself, before you love others, love yourself first.

but anyway, during the highlight reels period, bighit hires more writers to kinda continue the story line and so they introduced love interests ( like they had applications lmao ). Hence, this is the only reason I could think of that they are even continuing this whole timeline until now as they hired more people to do it and work on it. 

Also, if you noticed in the Smeraldo: the Notes, it has BU, which i would either assume is Bangtan Universe, BTS Universe or Bighit Universe just like how there is YG Family, JYP Nation and SM Town. 

now, if it is indeed BTS Universe, you could imagine that this is just a whole world of AUs, lots of parallels, much like a marvel universe. however, if this was the bighit universe, then best believe me when I say that should the boys ever go into military/enlistment or despite being exempted, want to serve, trust me that bighit would milk TXT and rope them into this universe. 

it is possible considering how they kinda planned the whole debut date, 2013 and 2019 having the exact same year literally, just the change in the last number of the 4 digits. i wouldn’t be surprised. think of TXT as a possible AU should this happen, not that I am trying to compare them, I believe they have their own colour, but I wouldn't be surprised if they get roped in to be part of this complex story line. 

i still kinda believe that HYYH should have ended by maybe around Wings, others thought that it should have ended in their repackage album of Young Forever, but i guess to one’s own perception. 

i just kinda want to see how this would end, especially since they are releasing the HYYH: the Notes Book. and the whole webtoon would end just in time for their first ever comeback April 12, one day after the webtoon ends on April 11. 

i want to see if i would even have my answers after all. especially now with their upcoming comeback called Map of the Soul: Persona, best believe a new theory would be out soon. 

[Photo Source] Bighit Entertainment  Credits: maxine ☕️ DO NOT REPOST ©

[petertingle-yipyip]

Cheater - Kol Mikaelson

//requested by @hybridgirl99 :Hi. Can u do a Kol x Reader where the reader is dating Kol and has noticed how close Davina and Kol have become, She goes to confront Kol about it and sees Kol cheating on her with Davina, She runs away and Kol chases after her, constantly apologizes and says that he loves her, that what happened was a mistake, but she ends up leaving him for a while, Then after a while Kol finds her and they talk it out and she talks him back? P.S. If u could also somehow involve the siblings/Hayley?//

//pairings: Kol x Reader (romantic), Mikaelsons x Reader (platonic), Hayley x Reader (platonic), Kol x Davina (intimate) warnings: swearing, (my experience with) sensory overload//

//Listen to: She Don't by Ella Mai and Ty Dolla $ign//

"Why do I feel so happy?" You asked Klaus.

"You're new to being a vampire. Everything you feel is heightened." He explained. "You'll get used it, the good and the bad."

Everything was so bright. The smallest sounds seemed loud. Every inch of your body felt so sensitive to any stimulant. Guess that all came with being a vampire.

You had only been a vampire for about three weeks or maybe a month and it was insane. Luckily, you hadn't killed anyone. Rebekah and Elijah were helping teach you control. Klaus was helping you to control and use your strength and speed. Hayley taught you to control your emotions and keep your humanity. She told you to find one thing that could keep you grounded, through anything one thing you count on. Naturally, you chose your boyfriend.

You figured out Kol was a vampire after a few months of being friends. It wasn't hard when you lived in New Orleans to know who was supernatural and who wasn't. You met him when you were seventeen, began dating at eighteen, and now here you were at twenty and now a vampire. At least you were old enough when you turned that you do adult things without too many questions.

"Can I go now?" You asked Klaus as you sat on the stairs. "I'm supposed to go hang out with Davina. I'm introducing her to Kol."

"Introducing them for what?" Hayley asked. Her tone as curious but you knew she had those suspicions that everyone has when you bring your significant other to someone else of the same gender.

"My best friend and my boyfriend have to get along." You laughed.

"Let her go, Nik." Rebekah urged. "She'll be fine for a few hours. Besides, Kol and Davina won't let her do anything stupid."

Klaus was silent in thought before waving his hand for you to leave. You jumped up and smiled widely as you quickly left. You walked fast, purposefully not running, to the park you were meeting them at.

You saw them sitting next to each other before you arrived but you dismissed it and charged it to the fact that you were late. As you joined them, they jumped apart as of they were caught doing something they weren't supposed to. Again, you dismissed it but maybe you shouldn't have.

A few months have gone by and while you were still adjusting to the heightened emotions and the constant, burning hunger, it was fun being a vampire. You and Kol had begun a weekly date night of going to bars and having a drink from tourists.

You headed down the street to meet up with Kol. You walked with a picnic basket in hand. Within the basket was a neat little scrapbook you had put together. The book had some of your favorite pictures together and some of your favorite pictures that you took of him.

You had to admit that you were feeling jealous. This wasn't just a surprise picnic basket. This was a subtle way of showing Kol that you loved him and asking him about Davina... Okay so maybe it was a confrontation but it was cute.

As you entered the house, you listened to see if he was there. You heard shuffling and muffled voices coming from his room. You sprinted over and when you opened the door, you wished you had never set up that meeting a few months ago.

You saw Kol standing right behind Davina. She looked over her shoulder at him before slowly turning and running her hands gently up his chest. You were quiet as you watched and listened.

"She's lucky to have you, someone so good looking." She mumbled. "I bet you take really good care of her."

"I'm lucky to have her, really." He chuckled. "I've never been so happy."

You were enough out of sight that they couldn't see you but you could see them. Your veins were full of a burning, itching rage.

"There's something I want to try."

"And what is that, Ms. Claire?"

You wanted to go in there and tear Davina's throat out but the rational part of you argued that she was your best friend. Maybe you weren't seeing it right. Maybe it was a misunderstanding.

But when you focused back on the scene in front of you, Kol and Davina were shirtless and laying on the bed with lips locked. Kol was on top her and her hands roamed his exposed torso.

You decided you had seen enough so you stood in the doorway and threw the picnic basket at him as hard as you could. You heard the glass shatter as it collided with him and he fell off the bed.

"Oh my god, Y/N!" Davina yelled.

"Shut up." You told her, not looking at her.

You watched Kol jump up and make eye contact with you. His mouth was open in shock as he looked to you and then the floor. He put his hand on his eyes and shook his head. He just couldn't look you in the eyes... Pathetic.

"Please, Y/N, let me explain." He began.

You scoffed and turned your back. You started to leave when you felt a hand on your arm. You turned slightly and saw Kol staring at you with soft, apologetic eyes.

You turned on him and yanked your arm away.

"I'm not stupid, dumb, or blind." You began before he could get a word out. "I'm wondering what's on your mind. So what? Wanna say that you're not thinking straight? I can smell her perfume all over you. You really wanna explain? Start with the goddamn hickey that's healing on your neck. Or start with the fact that you're missing a fucking shirt."

"Please, Y/N." He said softly.

"You said you loved me..." You said flatly. "How could I be so stupid?"

"You're right. I fucked up Y/N. It was a mistake I swear. I love you, Y/N. Only you." He argued.

"A mistake? The only mistake here was trusting your lying, cheating ass." You laughed. "I have ninety nine problems right now but looks like you won't be one."

"Don't say that." He begged. "Please, don't leave me. I love you, Y/N. I've never been as happy as I am with you."

"Oh, you're happy with me?' You said loudly with a laugh. "If you're so fucking happy, why were you about to sleep with her?"

"I'm just gonna go." Davina said awkwardly as she slipped past you and Kol.

"Yeah, you probably should." You spat as she walked out. "So much for best friends."

"I wasn't going to sleep with her." He said softly.

"Did you think I wasn't gonna find out?" You asked bluntly. "How stupid do you think I am?'

"It's not like that!" He yelled.

"Dude, I'm not gonna fall for that shit. Pack up what you're selling cause I'm not buying it."

"What do you want me to say!? That's you're right? That she's not you? She's not! She'd never be you! I fucked up, yeah. But I-"

"But nothing!" You yelled loudly. "Good luck being on your own. And don't bother calling. I won't answer." You said and sprinted off. As you were fleeing, you ran into- literally- the other siblings.

"Y/N?" Rebekah asked softly, placing her hands on your shoulders. "What's wrong?"

You felt trapped. You felt like there was no escape. Had the walls always been that close? Had their voices always been that loud? Everything that you were trying to run from was catching up to you and it was beginning to suffocate you. You had felt this before, when you were human. Sensory overload. But it never got this bad, this scary.

You pushed her off and stepped back. You felt dizzy, you couldn't even see straight. Everyone's voices were coming at once and you were so overwhelmed.

Your body felt hot, your fangs pushing against the inside of your mouth. You pressed your lips together tightly and shook your head, trying to shake the thoughts away.

"Y/N, focus!" Hayley shouted. You couldn't tell if she really shouted or if it just came off that way. "Find your-"

"I can't!" You screamed. You shut your eyes tightly and pressed your hands over your ears. You tried not to listen but they kept screaming. Everyone was asking you what happened, were you okay. They were telling you calm down and they could help you. But they couldn't. They were only making it worse.

"I need you to stay calm, Y/N." Elijah spoke. "We're just here to help you."

"You're not going to get anywhere like that." You heard Kol. His voice stood out among the others, like a lighthouse in the fog. "She's trying to tune you all out."

You felt a hand on either side of your face and soon lips crashed against yours. He held your face to his and you felt every ounce of tension in your body melt away. Every thought evaporated and the fog of rage and despair that clouded your mind settled.

You pushed him off and stared at him for a second. Your heart acted like nothing was wrong but your brain scolded you for nearly kissing him back and your stomach churned with the bitter thought of him kissing Davina, who's perfume you could still smell on him.

You sprinted out of the compound, vaguely hearing Kol try to explain himself to his siblings. Once out in the civilian population, you slowed to a walk. You didnt know where to go. Who would take in a broken vampire? You wandered until you ended up at Marcel's front door.

He welcomed you silently and said whenever you were ready to talk, he'd listen. Marcel had always been a good friend to you, even before you turned. It was comforting that he didn't force you to talk right away.

Your phone rang and rang constantly and it was always Kol. Once it was Davina and she left a message apologizing and saying she understood if you never spoke to her again.

After a few days, you realized just how long never was going to be. You were immortal now, an idea you still had to get used to. If you never spoke to Davina or Kol again, Davina would die without speaking to you again and Kol would live forever alongside you. You weren't sure which was worse... You had to talk to Kol first so you called Rebekah.

"Hey, uh, where's your brother?" You said when she answered.

"God, Y/N. We've been worried sick about you." She said with a sigh of relief. "Klaus and Elijah are dealing with a witch problem. Why?"

"Not those brothers... Kol." You answered.

"He's here... Why?" She said slowly.

You didn't say anything. You simply hung up and took a trip over. Your mind was racing. What would you say to him? You weren't mad anymore just hurt. Hurt that he could say he loved you and then kiss your best friend. But it was only a kiss, right? No, you saw it, there were bigger intentions there.

Before you could even think of an opening statement, you were there. You walked in and saw no one. You figured he was in his room and sure enough. The sight of them kissing was burned into that room but you knocked on the open door.

He turned quickly and his eyes widened. You slowly walked in and sat next to him on the bed.

"I've been thinking..." You began. "And I realized that forever is a long time to stay mad at someone..."

"Y/N, I am so sorry. These few days without you has been my own personal hell." He ranted. His fingers tapped against his leg and you figured he wanted to touch you, hold you hand maybe. "I will forever regret what I did and wish I could take it back."

"But you can't. I don't think you understand that." You said calmly. You felt a million emotions bubbling in your stomach but you couldn't focus on just one. Instead, you tried to focus on Kol, his hands, his eyes, his voice. "I still have a lot of feelings for you, Kol, but I can't get over what I saw."

He was silent for a moment, almost as if he wasn't prepared for what you said. Well, you did show up out of the blue.

"When you said you wouldn't answer my calls, I hoped you were bluffing." He chuckled. "I've been losing my mind without you, Darling."

"Why did you kiss her? Why did you spend so much time with her if you 'love' me so much?" You challenged.

"She's a really sweet girl. You know how she is, so charming and welcoming. At the beginning, she said she was just making an effort to find out if I was good enough for you. But I got so caught up in her energy that I- I lost sight of what I really care about..."

"So you're telling me that just got swept up in the moment? How cliche is that, dude?" You laughed without humor.

"In all my years, I have never felt true happiness or love. That all changed when I met you. I know you and I have only been together for a few short years, but I have never been this happy. There has never been this much light in my life. It all started when I met you."

"For an old man, you're pretty good with words." You mumbled with a smile and nudged him with your shoulder. He smiled slightly in return. "So where do we go from here?"

"That's up to you, Darling." He whispered. "You know how I feel. I cannot make up your mind for you on this."

"I want to be with you..." You said slowly, reaching for his hand. "I'm just gonna need a bit of time to move on."

"Take all the time you need." He said softly and placed a kiss on your forehead. He got to his feet and tried to leave the room.

You quickly reached out and grabbed his wrist. He turned and looked at you confused.

"Please don't leave." You said gently.

He sat next to you again and you laid your head on his shoulder as you played with his hand.

It took a few weeks but you were able to forgive him. You eventually forgave Davina as well. You two were never as close as you were before but you were friends once again.

Things with Kol were good after that. After a year, you got married. You officially became Y/N Mikaelson.