#i feel like i had other things i was gonna say here but i can't remember

[racew1nn3rs]

─ 𝘚𝘌𝘊𝘙𝘌𝘛𝘚, 𝘚𝘌𝘊𝘙𝘌𝘛𝘚 🫀

max verstappen x singer!fem reader // smau

⤷ summary: when max verstappen starts commenting on the posts of the beloved singer y/n l/n, fans are confused but enthusiastic at the new friendship. what they could never expect is just how long they've been 'friends'...

based on this request <3

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liked by sabrinacarpenter, maxverstappen1, and 46,908 others

tagged sabrinacarpenter

ynusername my new album is now officially out on all platforms! thank you so so much for all of the love and support, and special thanks to sab for her feature on the song <33 love u bb girl 🫦🫦 now that the album's out, tour next!!! see you all soon!

23,560 comments

user1 THE ALBUM OUT. THIS IS NOT A DRILL PEOPLE THIS IS NOT A DRILL.

user2 i cannot be normal about this i fear

user3 ik her back hurts from CARRYING the music industry on her back 😩

user4 hey so WHO TF IS SO AMERICAN ABOUT?? A LOVE SONG

user5 y/n writing a love song in god's year of 2024... wow

user6 y/n in the top 10 charts, fork found in kitchen

user7 sabrina and y/n are never beating the gf allegations

ynusername damn right we're not 😏

user7 HOLY SHIR HOKY SHIT HOKST SHUT

user8 y/n's in love and it's not with me, hanging myself as we speak

user9 the comment is gonna get reported but so real op

user8 can't a woman hang herself in peace 😣

user10 album's such a banger i had this shit bumpin at my grandmas funeral 🙏🏼 rest in piece nancy 🕊️💪🏻

user11 OH MY GOD???

user12 rest in piece nancy you would've loved make you mine 😔

ynusername oh my god please tell me your joking

user10 sorry queen the grind never stops

ynusername NO SHOT

maxverstappen1 great album! 👍🏼

user13 why does he text like my father 🧍🏻‍♀️

user14 brother eughh

user15 what da hell is a polar bear doin in arlington texas

ynusername thank you max!!!

user16 y/n l/n to redbull in 2025

user17 hellurrrrr who is this man in ur likes y/n

user18 f1 driver!!

user17 Y/N NO ATHELETES PLEAEJEWK 🫵

user18 tour content soon??? i'm sat

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user19 bro looks like he snuck onto earth, get his ass outta here

user20 grammy-award winner, vogue cover model, new york university graduate and Some Fucking Guy

user21 not y'all coming to her defense like the mighty morphin power rangers 💀💀 he's literally a world class athete and she writes pop music

user20 17.172.224.47

user21 IS THAT MY IP ADDRESS??

user20 melinda charleton

user22 IS THAT HIS MOTHER'S NAME!!?1?1!

user20 you want me to do you too???

user22 no we good 😃

user23 ruth bader ginsberg did not die for this

user24 now wtf does this have to do with babe ruth 🤨

user25 WHOOOOO 😧

user24 ... that wasn't right was it

user26 now let's be fr he does NAWT have a chance

user27 have u seen the marble-carved  goddesses these men pull, i fear he does 😔

user28 please no i feel ill

user29 TWO???? OH HELL NAW

user30 two might be pushing it, only one was confirmed

user31 jesus christ

user32 first taylor, now this

user33 yall, all he commented was great album 💀💀 yall are LEAPING to conclusions

user34 what can i say it's an art

user35 i do not see 👁️👄👁️

user36 no like 💀💀 im in your walls

user37 haha max verstappen!! right!!! (theres a sniper at ur location)

user38 omg ur so right 🤩 it is about him (i have a bomb strapped to my chest)

user39 i dont mean to sound stupid, idk who that man is, if i saw him on the streets i wouldnt know a thing 🥱

user40 this is so random too like what 😭

user41 the power of kindness won't work here, i have to throw him off a building

user42 i used to be a max verslsjjwwo lover 🤩 now im just a max verslsjjwwo hater 😔

user43 NURSE 🫵 SHE'S OUT AGAIN

user44 why would u put that into the universe 😧

user45 alright, lets get you to bed grandma

user46 mari stop being delusion and go touch grass 🧍🏻‍♀️

user47 ENOUGHHHH

user48 ain't no way in hell 😭

user49 ik ur feet hurt from all this jumping to conclusions babe

user50 lets leave the parkour to the athletes 😃

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liked by maxverstappen1, landonorris, and 54,789 others

ynusername italy thanks for letting me be inside you (; it was such a lovely show, expect me back asap!!!!

15,267 comments

user51 IT WAS SO GOOD I THNK I BLACKED OUT THE WHOLE TIME THO

user52 oh!

user51 oh so now this isn't a safe space

user53 LANDO AND MAX IN TGE LIKES??? NO NO NO NO

user54 ABORT ABORT ABORT

user55 y'all are doing too much 🙄 she's one of the top artists in the world, i think it's safe to say they might like her music

user56 the second picture 🧎🏻‍♀️do you need a stool cause i can kneel and be really quiet

user57 y/n fans be normal challenge (impossible!!!) (never done before)

user56 WOMP WOMP

maxverstappen1 wonderful show! 🙏🏼 you are so talented

ynusername ty max (: im glad you could come see me

user57 ain't NO WAYYYYYY

user59 THIS IS SIXKENJNG IM GONNA PUKE

sabrinacarpenter my gf looking sexy 🫦🫦🫦

ynusername only for u bbg 🧎🏻‍♀️🧎🏻‍♀️🧎🏻‍♀️

user60 BOOOO 🗣️ GET A ROOM

user61 do y'all need a third!!!!

user62 mamma mia pizza pasta mozzerella moment

user63 i just put u on a watchlist

user62 🧍🏻‍♀️

landonorris RAHHHHHH 🦅🫵🗣️‼️

ynusername RAHHH RAHHH RAHHH RISE POWER POWER 💪🏻‼️

user63 what the fuck

user64 OH GOD WHAT IF SHES DATING HIM????

ynusername brother eughhhh

landonorris WHAT THE FUCK????

user65 SINCE WHEN IS SHE FRIENDS WITH F1 DRIVERS HOW MANY CHAPTWRS DID I MISS

user66 apparently we all went into a universal coma while she was out galavanting cause idk how else this could've happened

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maxverstappen1 posted to his story!

(caption: beautiful show)

22,456 replies

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user67 someone save my girl bro, she don't know any better 😭

user68 it's like a little kid trying to touch the hot stove, LIKE STOP THAT!! DON'T DO THAT

user69 am i the only one who thinks they'd be cute together....

user70 YES!?!?

user71 there is literally no fucking way he bagged her

user72 losing y/n to european f1 driver would be the biggest american tragedy since 2001

user73 i had to read this shit twice, op what r u waffling abt 🫵😧

user74 can't even be nonchalant about this one bro, i'm chalanting hard asf

user75 we do not care

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liked by redbullracing, f1, and 78,567 others

tagged maxverstappen1

ynusername first time in monaco, safe to say i enjoyed myself! so happy to see you shine this time my love<3

25,788 comments

user76 oh. my. fucking. god

user77 THEYRE FUCKING DATING OH MYFODNSJ

user78 THAT SHOULD BE MEEEE HOLDING YOUR HAND THAT SHOULD BE MEEE MAKING YOU LAUGHHH 🎤

user79 i'm in mourning

sabrinacarpenter CHEATER 🫵

ynusername BABY IT'S NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE, IT WAS JUST ONE TIME 😣😣😣 IT WAS A MISTAKE

maxverstappen1 we've been dating for 2 years??

sabrinacarpenter SHUT UP FAST & FURIOUS NO ONE ASKED YOU

user80 i'm sorry 😃 two Y EARS

user81 i feel like i just got dumped. y/n don't do this, the kids need you 😔

maxverstappen1 i got p1 for you, i love you 🫶🏼

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hope you all enjoyed! please let me know your thoughts and feel free to leave a request for me to write something for your fav <3

[fanfiction4sooya]

Omg hi 🙊 hello. Can we get more g!p hybrid Yunjin x reader plssss I’m weak for that girl istg

Hi darling, thank you for waiting for so long (and my bad)!! Here it is, I hope you like it 💖💖

cw: noncon, dubcon, hybrid yunjin, g!p, unprotected sex, cuss words, etc;

It was the fifth night of you coming home and going straight to bed, Yunjin recalled. You got home with a new scent all these nights, feeling so desperate to go to bed after hours of studying with your new study partner Chaewon (another dog hybrid). And after that you still had your internship at the hospital to put icing on the cake.

You didn't realize how the puppy started scenting you whenever you were together, trying to control her tail wagging and her boner whenever you leaned forward to help her with some math problem, or how she'd slightly growl when you mentioned your beautiful golden retriever at home. Your pride and joy, Huh Yunjin.

Yunjin realized the faint scent on you when you kissed her goodnight on the first night, getting confused by it. She called her friend the other day, a wolf hybrid called Kazuha.

"I don't know, I think she might be fucking this other hybrid" She said, scoffing. Yunjin whined, her ears flat on her head thinking of such thing. "I say you should claim her"

"Claim her?" The gold retriever asked, interested about the topic.

"Yes, fuck her raw and rough, make her carry your puppies" The wolf said, almost growling. "don't be such a good girl all the time, do what your instincts tell you" She continued. "And if she tells you that's not true you can't trust her, she might be lying..."

But that wasn't what her instinct was telling her. She wanted to cry and ask you what she did wrong or something of the sort, not 'claim you'. But of course she listened to her friend, not really putting into thought that a wolf and a golden retriever have quite different opinions in a lot of topics.

So she waited, trying to be brave for once.

You, as usual since the night you came home with another scent, went straight to bed ater your shower, not really minding getting dressed, wrapping yourself in your soft comforter and kissing your girlfriend goodnight, not realizing how cold she was towards you.

Deeply asleep with your face on the pillow, you couldn't feel the covers sliding off of you or how she stared at your back and your bare ass, her cock twitching inside her briefs thinking of someone else's cum dripping from you. She grunted, feeling more animalistic than ever before, the doubt leaving her mind as soon as that desperate need to mark her territory grew inside of her chest.

Quickly she straddled your body, your tired mind not really picking on what she was doing.

"Puppy... I'm really tired today" You groaned, feeling her hard cock pressed against your butt. Usually that would be enough to stop her. Key word: Usually.

"I don't care" She husked, straightening her back to pull her cock out and stroke it, spitting on it. You frowned about to turn around but her knees held your body in place. "You are mine" She growled, biting your back. "I'm gonna show you and everyone you are mine"

"Yunjin!" You exasperatedly said, hissing. "That hurt" You cried out, trying to push her off of you but she wouldn't budge.

"You hurt me" She said, biting again but harder, humping your ass and groaning in your ear.

"Baby- what?" You tried to reason with her because she was in fact larger and stronger than you, trying to fight her would be useless. "Baby, tell me what happened" You hissed because she bit you again, licking your back afterwards in this sloppy way. Hungry and rough, her wet and rock hard cock pressing against your naked ass.

You were supposed to feel bad, feel angry or sad but you were... empathetic? Why was she so agitated? Why would she say you hurt her? You tried really had to think of anything but the next thing you knew her cock was violently pushed inside your pussy.

You screamed onto the pillow, tears threatening to spill from your eyes as you felt the second and third violent thrusts and Yunjin mumble a low 'fuck' right by your ear. That was making you doubt so many things: why was she acting like that? How could she do such thing to you and most importantly...

Why were you enjoying it?

"You are mine" She repeated, her body flushed against yours, her boobs pressed against your back. "I'm gonna fill your pussy so good" She blindly said, her hips moving in this fast pace now, your skin quickly warming up against hers. "You are going to carry my pups, our beautiful pups"

You moaned, biting the pillow. Yunjin was particularly big, her perfectly proportioned body literally all big.

"Fucking hell" You moaned, your pussy beautifully welcoming her dick, swallowing the whole thing as you grew wetter for her.

"God baby, you like it when I take you like this?" She moaned when you clenched, her tip hitting your womb just good. Yunjin straightened her back, releasing your arms from your sides.

Pulling you up by the hips she positioned you in a sitting position, your arms stretched out to hold on the headboard as you sat on her lap, her cock stretching you even better this way.

Yunjin hugged you against her, one of her big hands rolling your nipple as the other rubbed your clit, her hips never stopping or even falttering as she kept that relentless pace. You rolled your eyes, the gutural moan that left your throat felt even more violent as you felt yourself getting closer to the edge, your walls squeezing her cock in this delicious way, silently begging for her to stay inside you.

"Yunjinie" You cried out and she groaned, pushing you to turn around. You were straddling her, but now you could see how hurt she was. You frowned, kissing her lips as tears rolled down her beautiful face. You could feel the desperation, the rawness of her feelings fully displayed in her beautiful and ever so expressive gaze.

"No one can take you away from me" Her voice sounded small, her lips ghosting yours as she kept impaling you on her cock;your moans mixed with hers felt so good, intimate beyond words.

Her ears were flat on her head, that made your heart ache.

"I am yours baby" You breathed out, hugging her against you to hide your face in the curve of her neck. "Fuck- N-no one can take me from you, Yunjin" You said, her hands gripping your hips impossibly harder made you finally lose it, squirting all over her lower region and biting hard on her shoulder.

Yunjin screamed out, eyes closed as she painted your insides with her thick semen, grunting and moaning as she kept pushing and pulling your hips to meet hers; the sound, the smell... everything combined made your head spin.

After a while she slowed her movements, hands still on your waist but now she was pulling you to her, her hug suffocantely strong. She was crying.

No, not crying. She was bawlling her eyes out.

You cooed, now fully aware that she was back to her soft persona as her sniffles made her whole body shake with certain violence; you let her cry, petting her hair and slowly rocking her back and forth. It took a while for her to calm down enough, her eyes puffy and nose red, her tail tucked in shame.

"I am so sorry" She started saying but you shushed her, kissing her forehead.

"There's no need, baby" You said. "Now tell me what's going on, please" And so she did, telling you how she started feeling Chaewon's scent on you and how neglected she felt because you were always with the other hybrid.

You took her story, nodding so she would know your attention was 100% on her to make sure she woudln't feel even more neglected. When she finished talking you took a deep breath, guilt slowly creeping up in your chest.

"I am so sorry I neglected you, my love" You held her face with both hands, staring into her beautiful brown eyes. "I promise I had no idea Chaewon was doing that, if I had known she wouldn't be my partner anymore" You caressed her fluffy ears and her tail wagged really fast.

"Can you get rid of her?" Yunjin sniffed and you nodded.

"Anything for my puppy" You cooed and she smiled, hiding her face on your chest. "Am I forgiven, Yunjinie?" You voice dropped an octave and she thickly swallowed. You only called her that when you were horny.

You felt how her cock started to get hard again and you pulled it out, watching her cum ooze out of you and her cock twitched. You held her face between your fingers, her eyes locking with yours as you licked her lips in a upwards motion.

"Now I am the one who needs to forgive you for fucking me without my consent, pretty thing" Lust filled your body thinking of the many possibilities ahead. "Maybe today is the day I'll fuck your virgin little hole, baby..."

"Yes, please" She breathed out, her cock twitching in need.

"Good girl" You slowly jerked her off. "Now go fetch that big strap and some lube puppy, I'm gonna prepare your pretty hole for me" You said and her tail wagged in excitement as she quickly got up to do as you said.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for pointing out contradictions in my friend's speech?

This happened a few years ago but I still think about it sometimes. I had a friend at school, let's call them Alex [16X, gender irrelevant], who I had been struggling to communicate with. I'm autistic and I don't get social cues. They knew about my diagnosis, but still relied on social cues when speaking to me. I have misunderstood them several times because of this, then reminded them that I don't understand them if they aren't being direct, they promised to be direct text time and I foolishly believed them.

Later, we started communicating better... almost.

It's just that when they're exhausted(?) They don't really want to talk to anyone, and instead of saying it directly, they go back to using social cues again. I had no idea what they were feeling at the exact moment or if they're exhausted at all, so I continue talking to them unbeknownst of me.

I tried looking for a pattern to recognize whenever Alex doesn't want to talk to anyone, but I could never find it. They wanted me to figure it myself because "it's clear".

So, whenever Alex was feeling that way, they never said what they meant, ever.

Example #1: one day I was telling Alex about the movie I saw. I saw that they had tweeted about it and even made a comment about the ending scene, so they definitely watched it, so I mentioned it and mentioned a spoiler plot point.

They said "Hey, take it easy, some people don't like spoilers."

The only other person who was in the room was the person who recommended the movie. I pointed out that everyone had seen the movie already and Alex said, "you don't know for sure." And I reminded them about how they tweeted about and the other person said it was good. Alex got up and left, stopped talking to me for days, then told me the truth that they just didn't wanna talk and I should've picked it up.

Example #2: One time Alex was still in class sitting alone and I asked them if they were gonna leave, they said they're waiting for "Beth" so I can leave by myself, I told them Beth was absent and she wouldn't be coming here. Alex got angry and yelled at me for being insensitive and not knowing when to leave people alone.

Thing is, I can't tell if it was a lie, or if they were genuinely mistaken/misremembering something and I think clearing things up is helpful. Why can't people just say they don't wanna talk instead of making up a lie that's easy to figure out and call it social cue? The thing is, everyone else in the friend group told me I was being insensitive and "press the issue" when they clearly don't want to talk and "were being polite about it". So was I TA for pointing out something is contradictory/untrue?

[muddyorbsblr]

come on, england

'one look and they'll know' collection masterlist See my full list of works here!

Placement: about a year after 'a sizing mishap'

Summary: When the video director for Tom's promo seems uncomfortable with articulating the vision that was instructed of him, you step in to help things along

Pairing: Tom Hiddleston x Reader

Word Count: 1.2k

Warnings: a tiny bit of dirty talk; little to no plot in this i just wrote it for the thirst [let me know if i missed anything!]

Things to be aware of: we're in a new era (reveal at the end author notes)

This feels familiar, you thought to yourself, watching Tom walk in front of the camera, wearing a white and blue jersey with the number 6 in the middle. He looked to the side of the camera, his eyes meeting yours for a fraction of a moment, before putting on his game face and returning his focus to the lens, looking like he was about to give a pep talk.

"Come on, England!" he exclaimed, with an enthusiasm that felt better suited for a stage performing Shakespeare. Fitting, considering how the target audience were to be sports enthusiasts that Soccer Aid wanted to attract and fill seats next Sunday.

The man behind the camera threw up his hand, scratching the back of his head as he shouted, "Cut!" It was obvious that while he had done a magnificent job, as always, this didn't quite fit with the vision they had in mind. "That was…great, Tom. Really it was. But maybe we could go again but this time a bit more…encouraging?"

"You mean like louder, yeah?"

"No actually maybe a bit…softer?"

Despite his efforts to keep his expression unchanging, you could see the questions swirling in Tom's oceanic eyes. You'd known him far too long that those minute changes no longer got past you. And long enough that you could wager a guess that the questions popping up in his head were the same as yours.

If they want encouraging, then that last take should have done it. It's the tone the sports fans respond to. It's their catnip.

But as soon as the director said, "Maybe like…soothing?", the real vision clicked into place. The target audience for this promotional video wasn't the sports fans at all.

"You mean seductive?" you spoke up from your seat, shifting your posture to cross your leg over the other and resting your arms on your knee. "Enticing?"

"That's--preposterous I would never--"

"Come on, you and I both know who you have in front of the camera. And the type of crowd you want filling in the rest of the seats of that stadium, it's okay. But see, he's not gonna give you the performance you see in your head if you keep trying to dance around the words," you explained, motioning toward both of them. "You want him to play it sexy, just say the words."

"I can't it feels weird, ma'am," he finally blurted out. "These were just the instructions relayed to me, that the feel should be--"

"Tantalizing," you finished for him, trying to hold back a chuckle at how his face reddened as he nodded. You stood up, smoothing your hands over the fabric of your navy blue jumpsuit. "Alright then, show me how to operate the camera."

You walked over to look at the instructions that he referred to, your skin prickling at the scrawled words of 'Make sure he doesn't show his left hand'.

'Bedroom voice pls', another one said in bright sky blue ink.

"I know that look, sweetheart," Tom spoke up. "Are you alright?"

You made your way to him, your shoulders immediately relaxing when he wrapped his arm around your waist, holding you to him as he pressed his lips to your forehead. "Nothing we haven't dealt with before," you answered him, taking a deep breath and smiling at the comfort you felt from his signature citrusy leathery scent. "Now for this take…how about we try you walking into the shot? And then you stare the camera down while you say the line? Forget encouraging and just…"

Identical wide smiles stretched across your faces as you whispered a scenario to him that you believed could get his voice to where the organizers' vision wanted it to be. He slid his hand down the side of your body, giving you a playful little tap on the ass right as you walked back toward the camera.

The video director showed you how to start rolling on the camera then stepped aside to let you run the shot. "Ready, sweetie?"

He threw you a look that had you fighting not to squirm where you stood, answering you in that gravelly tone you were intimately familiar with. "For you, goddess? Always."

You positioned yourself squarely behind the camera, throwing up your hand to count him down to his cue. 3…2…1…Go.

Tom walked into the shot, his eyes meeting yours behind the camera. He took a breath, adjusting his stance to have his feet shoulder-width apart and placing his hands on his hips. His eyes roamed your features with the slightest whisper of the hunger and mischief that you were accustomed to when you were within the privacy of your home. And then he spoke, his voice low and raspy that it immediately brought your thoughts to that scenario you whispered in his ear minutes before.

Imagine that it's just you and me, sneaking in a quickie on the day bed in our study and failing because you're talking me into just one more round. Talking me into making more of a mess on you so we end up in the shower. Or the bathtub.

"Come on, England," he said softly, squinting his eyes at the lens. At you. And then he pursed his lips, fighting back the smile that threatened to follow through once he clocked how your eyes had glazed over, knowing exactly where your mind had wandered.

"Cut!" the video director's voice rang through the little studio, audibly more excited over the take compared to the last. "That was perfect, Tom. I think we got everything we need for your video." He rushed over to you, holding his hand out for you to shake. "You're phenomenal."

"That she is," Tom chirped up, taking his place by your side and settling his hand comfortably on your waist. "Always a blessing whenever we find ourselves able to work together."

"Have you ever thought of directing, Miss H? I'd be more than happy to share the co-directing credit on this with--"

"Ohh absolutely not," you cut him off, laughing the suggestion away. "Too much responsibility. Always happy to assist but I don't think I'll ever want that workload on my shoulders no matter what the scope or scale. I'm more than happy letting you sign this video off as fully yours. And those higher ups that left you those instructions would probably be very happy with you, too."

You saw how Tom craned his head to see the instructions that had been left for the video director, his hand tensing for a moment before his thumb stroked at your side, the motion soothing both of you.

"I'll let them know though that it wouldn't have been possible without your input, at least. Do you prefer Y/N H. or just Miss H?"

Oh I'm sure they'll love that, you thought to yourself, already imagining the bitter sneers this poor guy was about to witness. "You know what, just tell them Mrs. Hiddleston says 'you're welcome'."

A/N: Okay so we have 2 welcomes in this chapter…First welcome back to the Soccer Aid Collection. Apparently we're gonna have 2024 chapters added because I couldn't help myself so this thirst piece happened, and the chaos is probably gonna go down where I'm writing for both 2023 Soccer Aid and 2024 Soccer Aid at the same time because I am just…slow…lol

But anyways…welcome to the married era 😳🥹 I honestly have so much planned to get these blorbos to where they are right now, and I had a different chapter in mind to reveal to y'all that this is what we're working towards, but things happen, plans change…Tomathy walks out in that jersey with the long hair, gets me struggling not to say the d-word, and effectively derails those plans in the best way possible 😅🫡

'everything' taglist: @simplyholl @loopsisloops @imalovernotahater @coldnique @loz-3 @huntress-artemiss @salempoe @vickie5446 @athalialaufeyson @lokiprompts @kats72 @kikster606 @asgards-princess-of-mischief @lokixryss @thomase1 @mischief2sarawr @lovingchoices14 @lunarnights95 @goblingirlsarah @iamlokisgloriouspurpose @creationsbyme @maple-seed @mjsthrillernp @ladyofthestayingpower @mygfloki @sititran @glitterylokislut @ozymdias @fictive-sl0th  @lokidbadguy @mochie85 @silverfire475 @joyful-enchantress @elizabethmidnight2017 @holdmytesseract @smolvenger @gigglingtiggerv2 @lokidokieokie @lunarnights95 @superficialdomina @kmc1989 @november-rayne @goddessofwonderland @buttercupcookies-blog @peaky-marvel @lokiified @tom-hlover @dryyoursaltyoceantears @herdetectivetheorist

[miraculousares]

Okay so I have some thoughts about the end of full moon and more specifically on Blitzø's rant at the end. I already posted a little analysis about how he only knows how to communicate through raw emotion, and I think that his venting is such a clear example of that. I feel like this is the most honest Blitzø has been at least in the last 15 years if not ever, and I can't stop thinking about how hard he's trying to talk openly with Stolas. So spoilers for Full Moon obviously.

*deep breath*

"What? Fuck you, Stolas! You spring this feelings bullshit on me, are you fucking kidding?!"

As we well know, Blitzø has never felt worthy of love. He's always blown up every relationship (sorry for the pun) he's ever been in. Be it romantic, platonic, familial, even in the workplace he struggles. So the few occasions when Stolas has thrown out hints that he might love Blitzø for more than the sex, he's never been able to even process it. Stolas has never given him a clear indication that he feels anything more than horny for him and without any warning he's suddenly confessing his love in the middle of what Blitzø thought was just yet another transactional bang sesh.

"Can I get a fucking minute to think?"

Sure, Blitzø got the chance to have a genuine, in the moment conversation with Fizz, but that was nothing compared to this. He'd had 15 years to process his feelings of regret and he was someone he'd been vulnerable with before, albeit a long time ago. Here, trapped in a huge silent room with Stolas and all of his half-processed feelings that are tangled around so many other problems, Blitzø has no tools for this type of situation.

"After everything you put me through you pompous, rich asshole!"

While it hurts to say, Stolas really has put Blitzø through a lot. Aside from everything I'm gonna mention with the next line, he's hurt Blitzø time and time again. Be it covering his face at Ozzie's, humiliating him on stage at the Harvest Moon Festival, constantly degrading him and reminding him of his 'impish' lower status. It's obvious to the viewer that Stolas does care so deeply for Blitzø and that he's trying to change and atone for all of that, to Blitzø all he's done is give him space for a few months and then suddenly confess his feelings out of nowhere.

"Treat me like one of your little butler imps, you can't just dismiss me like that. I mean you royal fucks think you can do this every time. Like you can just play with our feelings because we're smaller and not as important!"

Okay here we go, diving into probably the biggest problem they have to tackle before they can truly accept love from one another: the class difference. Stolas' palace is crawling with imp servants who are treated as objects by the whole family and Blitzø has seen that. And then there's Blitzø, who is being treated with the respect of a living, breathing, independent-thinking demon but that's about it. He still talks down to him and goes so far as calling him his plaything on several occasions. I don't know exactly how the horns work/feel for imps, but I imagine Blitzø having a cigarette put out on his probably felt degrading at best. To Blitzø, he's providing a service for Stolas in exchange for reward, just like the rest of his servants. They both clearly know how wrong that is, but that dynamic needs to be seriously broken down from both ends before anything could possibly work between them. Blitzø is trying to do that with this line, he's trying so hard to tell Stolas how it made him feel because it hurt him but he wants to fix things.

"Well I'm not letting you, bitch! Let's go!"

Fuuuuuuuck this line hit me so hard. This whole time, he's been venting and yelling and in doing that he's sorting through how he feels. He's being confronted with something so far out of his comfort zone but instead of trying to run or hide like he usually would, he's trying to figure things out because no matter how afraid he is he clearly wants to have this conversation. He's trying to open it up to Stolas after airing out everything he was able to sort through, he's telling him that he wants to have this conversation.

"Stolas wait, I'm s-"

God this is so heartbreaking and I know a lot of people are pissed off about how Full Moon ended, I honestly think that this was perfect writing for each of these characters. Stolas has only ever been talked to in fanciful language, subtle comments, and straight abusive yelling, he doesn't know how to hear anything Blitzø is saying and instead only hears his tone and his harsh words. But Blitzø doesn't know how to communicate any other way and gah this argument/confession/breakup was exactly what they needed to push them forward to actually facing the problems between them rather than tiptoing around them

[polaris-stuff]

Okay, this is the fourth time of me rewriting this comment.

And i am gonna try and keep it short ( I failed I am so sorry) . As this is about the Heart to Heart with earth.

Feel free to ignore this if you don't wanna talk about it anymore. If you said something about , I've been trying to put my feelings on this out for a while and it's just not working. (it's also now 4 am, )

I came away from the episode feeling like it was a good episode. Where the characters talked about why they were deciding not to help moon for different reasons.

I thought for most of them it was in character, even if I don't fully agree. I could see what the show was trying to do.

And then i see a lot of people agreeing and being really hurt by the episode. Because they feel like everyone is aboning moon. And leaving him in this vulnerable space.

I feel like i missed something. As to me. the celestial family isn't fully aware as to truly how bad Moon's mental state has gotten.

I have a feeling that (Sun and Lunar, more so then earth) Are taking moon's last words as face value ( wanting to bring solar back for ego/selfish reasons, and not because he truly breaking down)

(I also think monty still hasn't fully filled them in either that moon seems to be thinking he isn't real but I could be wrong!)

I think they'd be behaving otherwise if they know the true depts. they wouldn't wich is why this sucks so much. Moon is driving people away, actively sabotaging his own help.

I sit here wishing i would understand that hurt. I honestly truly do. Maybe because i have the feeling that they will help even if they say now they won't

maybe because i really hope sun isn't gonna make the same mistake as moon.

Maybe i am i giving sun, lunar and earth to much credit, and to many excuses.

I think...in the end. I don't think them refusing to help moon. Is them trying to hurt moon (even if that is the outcome) . But is taking care of themselves as they are all also still not in a good place?

And maybe because i genuinely can't see what they can do for moon to help him. As they offered him help but he refused or actively lied on how he was doing. So I don't get what help people want them to provide for moon at this moment. ( besides not leaving, but can you be there for someone that doesn't want you there?)

I dunno if i am making sense. trying to talk my feelings out is always hard. And I think for the first time I am on the other side of most of the people I usually agree with and respect a lot ( you being one of them ) . So I feel a bit lost and weird about it as to why my view is so different.

( I am honestly hoping Sun will see Moon having hallucinations, and at least will set something up so moon is never alone in that cell like he was. I feel like he thinks, he first needs to stop moon. And then when that is done. He can actively think on what to do next cause offering help first ain't gonna do it)

I am sorry for leaving this long ass comment in your inbox. I truly hope It didn't come off as attacking. AS it wasn't meant to be. Just a fellow TSAMS fan. who was in their own way very confused and hurt i guess and feels a bit alone in their reading of the story?

And trying to understand why people see this a an attack from the celestial family on moon. Or a active decision...instead of .. a series of what is gonna be a slew of bad decisions from everyone involved.

-Noffy.

Alright, I understand your point of view, don't worry about it, and actually, this is a YT series on VRchat so I shouldn't be so mad about this either yk JAJA

Ok, the thing is, the family doesn't know what's happening to Moon, that's right, they have no way of knowing what's happening to him because Moon pushed them all away and lied to them, now, the thing is that Earth knows. Monty told Earth that Moon had a psychosis episode and found him hitting the ground, that Moon could no longer tell what was real from what wasn't, so Earth knows that Moon is in a HORRIBLE mental state. And idk, but if you know that a person is in a state where they can no longer perceive reality correctly, I don't think the best response is not to help them.

Also, I'll highlight Lunar going from "I really don't care" (although he should care, we're talking about Moon, one of his brothers) to "fuck him" which is just weird?? The whole family was with Lunar and supported him when the thing with Eclipse happened but Lunar just does not care when something happens to another family member ??

I'm 100% sure that Sun will help Moon, it's more than obvious that Moon will get out of this situation, but the way the family is handling it is so strange to me. Lunar, Earth and Sun have every right to not want to continue dealing with problems but this is also partly their fault.

Since Solar died no one was with Moon because "Moon was busy", so Moon was alone in P&S with Ruin whispering in his ear and only Lunar went to see him a couple of times. Sun began to hang out more with Earth and Lunar, and Moon was left completely alone. "Oh, but Moon never said he wanted them to come with him! They can't read minds!" Yes, and that's true, but If everyone was aware that Moon and Solar were basically running around together every day, and everyone was aware that Moon was the one who had the worst reaction to Solar's death, the logical thing to do is to spend at least a couple of hours with him, right?

And yes, Moon lied about how he felt so this is also partly his fault for wanting to hide what was happening to him. But Monty is also to blame because he also hide it.

We are at a point where we have been shown that all the hallucinations that Moon has had are created by her consciousness out of guilt (in the same way as Sun when the BM thing happened), Moon regrets the things he said to Earth, Moon wants to stop, Moon wants to go home and apologize, but he can't. He thinks his whole family hates him, that no one wants him in daycare.

Also, I understand that Earth is hurt but she also isn't trying to understand Moon's feelings now that she knows everything Moon has been going through. Now she knows that Moon is going through the worst time of her life and she just decides not to do anything about it because "Moon said a couple of hurtful things to her." (things Sun warned Moon would say to push her away and things that worked).

I feel like of all the people, the only one who has a little more reason here is Sun, and, interestingly, Jack and the computer, who have done more than Earth and Lunar.

I think that now that he is locked up and unable to teleport it is a good opportunity for everyone to talk to him, a really serious and good intervention.

Sorry for the long text! And thanks for the ask and support! It really helped me let off some steam, hehe

[ember-not-amber]

I know that everyone is saying that Jason is the reason Aarmau became canon in MCD but I recently re-watched the MCD 4 year anniversary livestream and Jess said that she was always planning on Aphmau getting with Aaron so could she be leaving something out bc everyone on here seems to believe it was solely because of Jason and that can’t be for no reason, right?

-Transcript of what Jess said below the cut-

{40:15 - 43:46}

“‘So you wanted to have a reverse harem?’ [someone in the chat] asked, um to a certain extent, so a lot of what you're gonna hear me say on the stream very much will contradict some things I have said in the past and the reason that I am bringing this to light now is because at the time I did not know how to handle certain situations I was in, I'm not gonna get into a lot of things, but just know that a lot of things I say on this stream are less censored than they were back then. Some things I honestly did say because I was scared back then, I had no idea how to handle a massive influx of audience, I had no idea how to be a YouTuber, I had no idea how to respond to public criticism. It was definitely an experience for me that made me learn a lot about dealing with people and how at the end of the day, I really should've said what was on my mind. So when you ask about a reverse harem, I really did want that to happen in Diaries, but I didn't want it to happen the way that you see it happening in like, um, or in high school where everyone was super after Aphmau or like, you know, super interested in her I wanted to do that concept but I wanted her to more about what was going on in the world and not super about love and the reason for that was because a lot of what she was going through was more so pressure from having to be...what it was more so about for Aphmau was her trying to basically deal with the world as a Lord which was something that was super stressful at the time because she has to deal with all these people you know, doing this stuff and for her it felt like...she had more concern about the people around her than her herself so the idea was that she was going to ignore a lot of her feelings for others, not act on her own emotions cause you see that happening throughout a lot of Diaries, she ignores the kids she adopts a lot very often she doesn't have time for herself, it's almost like she's so engrossed in the world that she's in and helping others that she doesn't even think about that herself so in Season 2 when she has this moment of epiphany that ‘hey, I can have what I want for myself, I can do what I want for myself’. When that happens she makes an impulse decision, but that's a decision she wants. We'll get into that a little bit later, it's a very, um I had more complex thought about this than I actually talked about and that was something that was very, very, um for me again, it became a lot about shipping, it became a lot about being afraid of having an audience that would talk about you online, it became a lot of fear for me as a creator with what was going on at the time. And I'll talk to you guys about that in a little bit but just know that that was a thing that I was going through back then as a younger creator, now that I'm an older creator I realized 'hey, I should tell the story the way I want to tell it and not how people are telling me to tell it' again, we'll get into that later on."

{44:13 - 45:16}

"OH MY GOD something I hate about the harem concept by the way, something that always bothered me, and this was from the very beginning and this was something that I thought about because I was like, ‘it's either gonna be someone else, it's not gonna be the one that two people think, it's got to be someone else’ because I hate the harem concept where, in anime, this happens a lot, the girl can't make a decision towards the end so guess what? the creator leaves it open-ended like Haruhi and Tamaki (from Ouran High School Host Club) guess what? YOU DON'T KNOW WHO SHE GETS WITH! AND FRICKIN IN FRUITS BASKET YUKI AND uh, what's his name? frickin...OH THE CATBOY I CAN'T THINK OF HIS NAME OFF THE TOP OF MY HEAD! IT'S ALWAYS OPEN-ENDED, THEY CAN NEVER GIVE THE CHICK THE CHANCE TO MAKE A DECISION FOR HERSELF ABOUT WHO SHE REALLY LIKES AND WHAT SHE REALLY WANTS you know? ... Look, I have strong feelings about harems, like harem animes, and how I feel like, if you're gonna let the chick make a choice, let her make a choice that she wants, okay? Just let it happen, okay??"

{47:00 - 47:11}

"Oh yeah, I don't like when harems do that to the main chick, they're like, ‘oh she can only get with one or the other, she can't get with anybody else! Cause that's what we built up to!’ NO, NOT IN MY STORY, we ain't doing that stuff here!"

{1:24:11 - 1:26:52}

*After re-watching that scene from S2 ep 20*

"So for me, I love watching those scenes. I think for me, it's more so the fact that I look back on them and I'm like ‘Why didn't I do this?! Why did I do this?! OH MY GOD I COULD HAVE DONE THAT!’ so it's like... it's very interesting. I think that was the first, no, that was like the second crazy uh, I wanted to give basically all of the love interests a Big Moment in a lot of the stuff, so Garroth had his moment in Season 1, Laurance had his moment in Season 2, Dante was supposed to have a moment because Dante, and I think I forget who else it was um, I think it was Fenrir, I seriously have to look back on my stupid docs, but there were supposed to be more love interests for Aphmau and it just didn't happen because at the time, if you were a fan back then you might have lived through the Great Garmau v. Laurmau War, I did, I was there for everything, and trust me, it wasn't a pretty sight. But my intent was, because I mentioned this in the stream earlier, I did not like the way that harems, specifically reverse harems worked when it came to giving the main character, usually the female main character, a choice. They didn't get like, they had between two options and for me I wanted to break that, I wanted to have it a little bit up in the air and have it more open to who she could be with and that she would make her own choice. And she does make her own choice in later episodes, but that's not what people like, enjoyed and I'll get into that in a little bit because this is something that I think changed the course of how I went about writing Diaries in the future and why I believe I fell out of... why I believe I felt a great pressure on me as a writer and as a creator and why I believe that I've, well at least for me, somewhat I believe, it's what I feel, I felt that I was dragged out of writing Diaries because I gave in to what other people wanted and to what was demanded of me basically, cause I didn't know how to handle stuff like that as a content creator."

{1:58:46 - 2:19:18}

"My original idea was to have a harem with Aphmau but she wouldn't be getting with the main two guys, and if I said anything about that back then then who would you guys have to root for? What would you be watching for? This was my intent that I had, that I didn't want to talk about because honestly, like, how do you say that? Like, ‘OH BY THE WAY, YOU MAY BE ROOTING FOR A TEAM BUT THAT'S NOT GONNA HAPPEN’ you don't wanna give away the story! For me, I wanted to have a female character who was able to pick for herself and a HUGE part that I think most people did not like at the time was the fact that she couldn't pick, because Aphmau would often say that she's not ready for romance, she's not ready for love and that was intended, that was basically her trying to say, ‘Hey, I'm a Lord, I'm a frickin working woman who's got like, all this bs on my plate, I gotta manage these adopted kids, I gotta take care of this other bs with the stupid villagers not being able to build their own villages, I gotta go talk to the frickin daughter of Scaleswind who gets kidnapped, and I gotta go do this stupid stuff where I'm getting stuck in wyvern dimensions and holy crap!’. She's gone through so much emotional stuff and during this entire time while you're on the ride with her not once does she give a crap about herself, not once does she say ‘Oh my god, I'm gonna have a spa day for me!’ even though there's a spa day later on in the episodes she's like ‘Oh my god I'm gonna relax for me!’ NO! EVERY FRICKIN DAY SHE'S DEALING WITH PROBLEMS! Anyway, for her she had a hard time, a serious hard time even picking between Laurance and Garroth. Though they had all these romantic scenes at the time that were on camera she had a hard time with that. It was basically them knowing that they had the Jedi Code in their blood where they couldn't really- and I don't know if you guys knew that in one of the episodes we actually do talk about the guards not falling in love with their Lords because that's a BAD thing and as you can see it turned out to be a bad thing! Who knew?! So yes, she ends up um, the guards, Laurance and Garroth end up falling in love with her, their Lord even though they know the Jedi Code, they can't do that and yeah, I say ‘Jedi Code’ but there is a guard code where they're just like ‘Hey maybe you shouldn't fall in love with your Lord because that might be a bad thing!’ and it does turn out to be a bad thing, Garroth ends up being very selfish for his brother?? Uh, I forget how that all played out but I know Garroth thought he saw Aphmau and Laurance kissing and then without like, actually talking to them about it he's like, ‘I'M GONNA BETRAY THE VILLAGE RIGHT NOW!’ so um, yeah! Now, you're probably saying, ‘Oh man, Aphmau wasn't ready for romance, then what was The Forest?’ prior to this I was building up subtly, very subtly Aphmau and Aaron's relationship. Laurance and Garroth had more screen time in terms of like, actually- and this is where I feel, as a writer and as a producer I made a mistake, because I did not show romantic interest from Aaron to Aphmau in a way that was more romanticized. I showed a more mature kind of relationship where it was like, if you remember back when we had the Isabel Arc Aaron was buying Aphmau clothes and stuff like that; small little gestures from time to time where it was supposed to be implied and this is more of a kind of behind the scenes kind of like idea of love and of a mature relationship kind of forming. One of the things Aaron absolutely knew, because as you guys know Aaron was a Lord, is that he understood the pressure Aphmau was going through as a Lord, he had a lot in common with her in terms of having guards, having the responsibility of everyone in the village on your shoulders, he understood what Aphmau was going through and knew that he should not try to put any pressure on her.

And I don't think many people in this world of Diaries understood that unless you were a Lord and I think most Lords either became corrupted or they became- there was super righteous and super corrupted and then there was kind of like in the middle where they didn't really care. So with that being said, at the time I was super set on eventually Aphmau and Aaron having a relationship and I wanted it to be more so a kind of lustful relationship than something- a lustful relationship that had a mature understanding that ‘Hey, we're Lords and we have to basically keep this between us because we understand that our villages in the Phoenix Alliance is gonna freak out if we like, show that Aphmau is like,’ I don't know like, Aphmau had a really hard time with emotions and a really hard time with kind of observing the people around her and was more so like ‘Yeah I wanna get my job as a Lord done’ and just ignoring her own wants and needs. And I feel like I could explain this a lot better if I wrote this out cause I'm not really good at verbally explaining these kinds of things but yeah, so when I decided to go through with Aphmau and Aaron a lot of fans were mad like, very mad. So as you all know, in this episode (S2 ep 73) you have Aphmau and Aaron actually talking about- they're talking a lot about what's going on, ‘one mistake. It might take one small misstep, but if you aren't careful: you can lose everything’ this is not just a lesson that Aphmau MCD was learning, it was a lesson that I was learning as a creator. It was really something that- before Aaron, even before Aaron with Laurance and Garroth, I don't know if you guys ever got to see how bad things were. How the shipping of Garroth and Laurance, not even Aaron at this time because Aaron wasn't involved in the picture, but during Season 1 how bad it got to the point where I had to ban so many comments, like I know people these days complain about Aarmau shippers, I don't think that they even come as close to what I had to deal with emotionally as a creator and a writer when it came to... and this is not ALL please don't think that this is every Garmau shipper, every Laurmau shipper, I'm assuming everyone was just young back then and I don't hold it against anybody, but it was a very interesting time because it felt like I had to adhere to Garmau and Laurmau, I couldn't do anything differently with Aphmau. If I tried to introduce another male character to Aphmau's like, circle be it Aaron, be it like uh, Fenrir or be it uh, shoot, even frickin Malachi for some reason, I don't know why, that was weird. It got to a point where I was getting emails from fans, very hateful emails, I had a lot of stuff happened during this- this was Garmau and Laurmau and I had to block a lot of comments and that's why, comparatively for you guys as fans you may remember those memories fondly, but I don't and that's because- I mean I remember the good fondly, don't get me wrong I enjoyed the good times but I remember having to block so many comments to other people on my channel about people basically telling like, the Garmau fans telling the Laurmau fans to go do something to themselves and hurt themselves and then the Laurmau to the Garmau- I blocked a lot of those comments so you guys never saw them because we had a smaller community back then, it was easier for me to monitor comments nowadays, I can't do that, it's very difficult for me to do that. With that being said, I got a lot of emails from fans back then that were just very malicious, very hurtful and I remember Jason telling me, ‘Hey, just do what you wanna do in your story’ and so I did, I said ‘Hey, I want Aphmau to get with Aaron’ and then what happened after that when this happened and obviously the episode happened when she was pregnant, obviously and obviously you can see their [Aphmau & Aaron's in S2 ep 73] conversation here it gets very deep and again, I can go in a little bit further about this, but after this event happened there was a scene that I wrote, because when this happened a lot of people were basically-

and forgive me if I'm like, talking about this in the wrong way? Again, I feel like I can convey my thoughts better on paper better than I can in public, especially in person. Basically after this whole scene here and I'm sure you guys know this scene, especially if you look at the comments you'll know exactly what I'm talking about [S2 ep 98] this is the scene that I wrote because I was afraid of very rabid fans at the time. I didn't know how to handle it and basically say ‘Hey, this is what I wanna do for my story, this is how I wanna go about it’ and so I went into this with Aphmau and Garroth and I had Garroth basically yell at Aphmau and essentially call her a slut. But- and understand where his frustrations come from, I could get behind the idea that he would react this way but at the same time, looking at his past actions, looking at what he's done in the past and how all of this was caused- not obviously, not solely by his actions but this whole time skip era was pretty much a huge part of his doing, which was intended by the way, he was gonna have a more different reaction than this one and this was the one that I wrote because I was very much afraid of my fan base at the time uh, not my fan base, not ALL YOU GUYS but like the more rabid parts of it, I didn't know what to do. I was getting messages that Aphmau was a slut, she was just like this person who just did whatever she wanted even though granted, everything she's been through in the past was something that she never re- she did things for people but when she did the one thing for herself everyone turned on her. At least, everyone as in represented by Garroth, it's a very interesting thing to think about. And again, I could very much talk about this a little bit more... it's uh, again a very sensitive topic for me because this scene here, this is the scene I wrote because I did not know how to handle my fan base, I did not know how to talk to people, I did not know how to say ‘this is my decision that this is what I'm doing and honestly, I wanted Garroth to have a different reaction here’ because he reflects on what he's done but he rams into Aph- like, not rams into Aphmau, he- I don't know it's a very... I guess sensitive topic for me because of the way he reacts. So this scene, in particular, was one I did not want to write, this is one that I was just like... yeah and it sucked and this was the scene where I basically took what I was being told and translated it to Garroth to have it told back to the character. Not that I'm associating my own self with the Aphmau character but I think a lot of people do, and again, for me the Aaron and Aphmau relationship was very much a mature relationship in Diaries which is why in Mystreet you see it toned down quite a bit. This taught me a lot about youtube and doing what I wanna do and making it so I feel comfortable with the content that I'm making but yeah, just know that this is the scene that I just was like- it was me basically giving up my creativ- this was the scene that made me feel like I was giving up my creativity to satisfy what other people wanted and that sucked. And so when people say things like ‘Aw man, she's just done this for the fans and she's just done this!’ like in terms of story like obviously there are some things that I do do for you guys but they're not like things that I don't wanna do, they're things that I like, ‘Hey I would like to do this because I see that you guys like this and I wanna do this’ this was a thing where it was like, ‘I'm seeing this reaction, I don't wanna do this but I feel so bad that I have to do this’ so if you're an artist, for what this felt like for me, is when people say ‘Hey I don't like your style, your style should be the way I think it should be and if it's not that way you're doing it wrong’ it was like this really, a like hurtful moment where you almost give up something that you don't want to give up but you're so afraid of what people think about you that you don't know how to deal with it so you just do what they wanna do.

So for me, this scene is the example of rushed and forced. I make fun of that joke a lot and I know a lot of people use that to say stuff about stories, but this story right here changed a direction for me as a writer, for Diaries, it changed a lot and it made me... I don't know, like if I were to remake this, this scene would be changed, this scene would absolutely be changed. So anyway, it sucks, it really does suck but honestly, I don't blame anybody for that I truly like to think that what this was an example of was people were young and when I think of people who fight over ships, I think of young people usually, I don't think of older people and I think that as people who are older especially it's a good idea to try to- and some people overreact, yeah that's perfectly fine I think we all do every now and then. But a good way to kind of think about this is you have to help people learn and people are gonna make mistakes, so I don't hold it against anyone. I don't think that you know, Garmau shippers are bad or Laurmau shippers are bad or Aarmau shippers are bad, I've seen the worst, I've seen the absolute worst of each of them and you know, it's just the way things are and I don't blame any one of them. I honestly just think it was an experience that I personally probably needed to go through as a creator but it was the last time I ever let people super decide what I was going to do as a content creator and if any content creators are out there watching this right now and you're like ‘Hey I need to do what people are yelling at me to do’ don't do that. Obviously if it's a mistake you should apologize but if it's something where it's just like ‘Hey I just want to tell a story for fun and I just wanna do this to make it like my own thing’ then do your own thing because if you do not do what you want to do in a story and you try to cater to people it will hurt you, your creativity, it will hurt your drive."

[beautifulterriblequeen]

Teaser thoughts

I had to do adulting (leave for a suddenly rescheduled appt) 20 mins after the trailer dropped this morning, so I'm only now starting to get my thoughts settled but omg I have to write this stuff down or how will I know what I think

here we go

Rayllum flying together. Is it cute, romantic, or is it some twist where they're going somewhere for horrible reasons in a hurry and they can't even take the Shadowpaw. Where is the Shadowpaw why are they fl-

Does Ethari have his Shadowpaw back is that why they have to fly

Love the bisexual vibes here ngl

Starscraper is over land. It's not a deep thought shhh

The search for Zubeia. I'm curious why Ezran has let two of his best Crownguard leave his side. Surely this will have no consequences!

Janaya kiss with Amaya on her tippy toes. Janai has her crown on here. I feel that's relevant for uhh later. I hope this is real and not a dream Janai is having - those have not been going well for her.

This one makes me sad. The picture is torn, but then mended, and I love that. But it's set up like you'd see at a funeral.

Is this one super early on in episode 1 maybe? It could be the same night as the end of S5. That feels more likely than Terry catching up to Claudia later on... specifically in her allowing him close after what we got in the other trailer. Aahhh

This one has so much in it, I can't! It's got star bug stuff which I'm extremely here for, let the gods be gooey. It's got the whole quasar diamond crown right there. It's got Rayllum having a close moment. and it's posed like they're at the altar in a chapel getting married. Also the star is upside down in the stained glass window, so whatever theme is going on it's being consistent there.

This is one of my favorites: Ezran out on his own castle bridge defending it. Ye Olde Narrative of Strength got to him! Opeli looking worried has me worried - she's usually so certain and swift. This could be Viren trying to come home like a half drowned rat - will they let him in? Don't make me think of the men of Númenor right now, do not.

Battle couple battle couple! Rayla and Callum teaming up again! (she's the dark blob kicking free in the upper left) I love when a couple fights together. gonna be super normal about that.

This top down view of the Starscraper is a little dizzying, ngl. With Callum and Rayla tiny at the bottom, three floors down, these flying, circling elves give me shark vibes. What if they're not nice. like at all.

Why was Stella falling!? what are the Celestials doing, are they helping or are they trying thievery? Is this just a big mob of seagulls here

Janai is losing control of her emotions, she's furious and sad. She's setting fire to the Sun Seed tree. We know the Seed was stolen, but maybe this is her finding out, early on. It's less angsty if it's early, you know how things always get Worse during the course of a TDP season lmfao. If it's later on, maybe the fact that she isn't wearing her crown is... important.

Rayla in the frozen ship. Why's it burning, what's she there for? why did she go alone? This gives me some Banther Lodge infiltration vibes ngl.

Okay I am all about this altercation. Viren shoving Kpp'Ar to the floor in fury. are they arguing about Soren? dark magic? both? neither? What's the logo stand for, what's the I for in IK? Does he have a show called It's Kpp'Ar and they're just on set? lmfao the real reason there are gears everywhere is to change the rooms around isn't it. Kpp'Ar just got sick of those extra 29 steps to the kitchen.

Few things are scarier than a True Believer getting everything he wants. this shot of Karim being so filled with elation cannot be saying good things for Janai's prospects. He's got all kinds of cool Sunfire stuff on, too, including a crown, and his old tin ring from his mother. Those things were confiscated when he was exiled, which means he must not be exiled anymore. He could be king, having displaced Janai somehow, and he's fulfilling his intentions to his people by bringing back the glory of the Sunfire elves by healing their injured archdragon. Or so he hopes, anyway! We'll see if it works.

Sol Regem has come out of his cave and he's got that Power Dragon Wingspread going on. Looks like he's been convinced to take a swing for uhhh big dragon things! I wonder how far his power will reach... and his bitterness. We might get a new Dragon King that makes Avizandum look soft.

It's so interesting to me what we did not get to see in the teaser, too. There's no Aaravos, no Aanya, no Runaan or Ethari, no Kim'dael. If we get another trailer before July 26, maybe they'll be in there! Or maybe we'll just have to white knuckle it until release day.

Hold on tight! S6 is coming!

[pancake-breakfast]

JJK's got me really worrying about Yuuji's ultimate destination in the story at this point...

Warning: Major manga spoilers ahead...

He just feels too perfectly paralleled to Sukuna, and it makes me worry that he's gonna have a very difficult time not falling straight into the same path.

At this point, we know they're related, though I can't say it came as a particular surprise to me. It seemed an odd choice for Akutami to make Yuuji physically resemble Sukuna for no reason, especially when the audience can clearly see the two are tied together via the markings that appear on Sukuna's human hosts. This choice seems even more out of place when we see how Akutami specifically drew Maki and Mai to resemble each other, and Mei Mei and Ui Ui, and Toji and Megumi. So finding out Sukuna and Yuuji are blood-related? That makes sense, especially given how very little is said about his bloodline in a series that focuses so heavily on the passage of power via bloodlines.

It also explains some of Kenjaku's weird breeding plan. Of course he'd (they'd?) want to maximize the potential for Sukuna's vessel to be an adequate one. What better way to do that than to seek out the same bloodline and then force a magically engineered baby into it? (Freaking weirdo....)

But... like... Sukuna wasn't always the way he was. He used to care about people, and have ideals and such, but then all of that was gradually stripped away from him. With its loss, he lost his desire to bother with such things, deciding instead to live for the moment, to embrace his own pleasure and whatever happened to suit his fancy in the here and now.

I can't help but wonder if he was a lot like Yuuji. Someone who's strong, and who loves deeply, and... well, who has a penchant for eating weird things.

Meanwhile, in the story's present timeline, Yuuji is being gradually stripped of everything he values. He didn't mind so much if he died. Not that it didn't scare him. He did indeed blubber like a baby the first time he came face to face with his own death. But after getting through that and seeing the damage Sukuna caused to those he cared about even at such a low power level, he made some sort of peace with it, and from then on (and especially after Shibuya), there are multiple instances where he demands others do whatever it takes to destroy Sukuna should he come out again.

But now, he might genuinely be the only one of the Main Four who makes it out of this alive. Akutami once said that either only one of them would die or only one of them would live, and with one definitely down and things looking, at best, Very Not Good for the other two, it really feels like it's just gonna be one of them alive, and that one will be Yuuji.

How hard is it going to hit Yuuji to lose all of that? Will he still resemble himself if he loses everyone? And he hasn't just lost the other three. He's been losing other supporting cast since Junpei (if not his grandpa), and while he only knew Junpei for a very short period of time, Junpei's death hit him hard. Nanami filled a mentor role for Yuuji for all that time when Gojo couldn't, and after Yuuji lost Nanami (and possibly Nobara), he didn't wince at absolutely tearing Mahito apart. His cold fury and dedication to the hunt became so strong that it left Mahito, someone who had previously reveled in the threat of their own demise, terrified and cowering, seeking help from the one person he knew was still around and more powerful than himself.

And then to take away Choso... who Yuuji had gradually accepted as his big brother, who had stuck by him and looked after him and done his best not just to train but to encourage Yuuji when he most felt the only path forward for him was isolation and death. Yuuji hasn't yet had the breathing room to even try and process the loss of Choso, but it was very apparent in the moment where Choso sacrificed his all that Yuuji, while doing his best to encourage and thank Choso, was devastated.

The devastation has broken Yuuji before. When he saw Mahito take down Nanami and Nobara, he basically lost the will to fight. Todoh might have helped him find it again (much as he's helping Yuuji get back on his feet now that Choso's gone), but what happens if he loses Todoh? His recovery from the Shibuya losses culminated in that cold anger that killed Mahito. If he loses enough now, what form will that take in this fight against Sukuna?

Without Choso or Megumi or Gojo or Nobara or Todoh or anyone else he held most dearly there to bring him back down, what's to stop him from turning his back entirely on caring for others to protect his heart, from just embracing the cold and becoming a conduit for destruction?

It's worth noting he already feels like he's lost his way. Way back in Season 1, in the arc where he and Nobara face down with Eso and Kechizu, Yuuji realizes he crossed an important line he set for himself. He took lives, not of curses, but of beings that were at least somewhat human, and he confesses to Nobara he's no longer sure where the line for murder is for him anymore.

Nevermind that everyone else he knows seems to have already strode past it. It may not have been as important to them, but it was very important to him, and then it was gone.

JJK has never been a series where the day is won by the Power of Friendship(TM). In fact, the Power of Friendship has repeatedly caused people to make some of the dumbest, most self-serving, and ultimately most destructive decisions in the story.

Chances of the story suddenly wrapping up with the Power of Friendship or love or anything else like that saving the day seem... low.

But chances of the story wrapping up with someone embracing pure power to become the next monster that imposes their sense of order on things? That seems possible. Sukuna did it in his day, and wants to do it again. So did Kenjaku. So did the leaders of Jujutsu society, both on a large scale while hidden behind their screens and on smaller scales such as we see with the whole Zen'in clan. A big part of why those same leaders disliked Gojo so much was because he could single-handedly overturn them if he had a mind to fully embrace that monstrous role. A big part of why those same people feared Geto so much was because, without the guarantee of Gojo fighting against Geto, those leaders weren't so sure they could take him down. It's also why they wanted to execute both Yuuta and Yuuji. They've spent a lot of time as the current era's monsters, imposing their sense of order, and they will not give it up lightly.

But now they're gone. So is Kenjaku, and Gojo, and soon enough, Sukuna himself might fall. Who will fill that gap, and what kind of monster will they be?

The story has already described all of the most powerful students as monsters, and that's true just based on their abilities. But what will really determine how monstrous they are is what they decide to do with that power.

At the end of the story, what will Yuuji do with his power, especially if he's left all alone surrounded by nothing but rubble the corpses of so many he cared for, respected, and loved?

Looks like we'll find out soon enough, for better or worse.

[azulcrescent]

Exactly 6 months ago i had the life changing experience of finding your comic(i want to be a cute anime girl) and soon I'm going to the psychiatrist to answer my gender doubts(among other things too)! Though i can't say your work was the last blow to my egg because I'm not sure of anything yet, it definitely opened my eyes, like, new colors to the world around and inside myself. And if it either turns out that my fictional crushes were actually me wanting to be them or that I'm just a queer person who wants to wear dresses, the people here and your AMAZING work make me feel like whatever ends up being the result, it's gonna be fine and I'll take pride on it!!

You're incredible and if anyone says otherwise they're not thinking right!!

🩵🩷🤍🩷🩵(?)

♥️🏳️‍🌈♥️(!)

I'm glad the comic helped! And good luck with your journey too! Happy pride! ^^

[storiesbyjes2g]

3.126 Uncle Luca

I loved how my dad loved Sophia. She was his new favorite sim, it seemed. If I ever lost him at a party, all I had to do was find Sophia because he was always somewhere nearby, admiring and watching over her. While Mama was filling me in on Alessia's situation, I saw him give Sophia a gift. He could have simply put it on the table just like everyone else, but he had to hand-deliver it so she knew he cared. If she weren't so wonderful, I think I'd have the right to be jealous, ha ha.

Just like at her birthday party, Sophia was the first one to hit the dancefloor, and one by one, everyone joined her. Even Alessia came out from wherever she was hiding. Previously, Chi Chi had latched onto Sophia and talked her ear off all afternoon, but she found a new friend in my mother, and that made me very nervous. I overheard Mama gushing about becoming a grandmother, and Chi Chi reminisced about Luna's infancy. I just knew they would eventually start talking about me, so I grabbed Less and got out of there.

We went upstairs, and as I stepped inside her room, the reality of her situation hit me hard. The familiar purple and blue color scheme I remembered remained, but everything else had changed. Three cribs had replaced her bed—two blue ones and a purple one. A changing table and other infant furniture crowded the walls, and baby play things lined the floor. These babies not only turned Less' world upside down with their presence, but also they displaced her, and now she slept in my room. I couldn't judge her for not appreciating the joy and privilege of becoming a parent because I had never faced the devastation of having my world upended like that. Me and Sophia's world would change with just one baby, but Less was having THREE she never wanted, and I felt for her.

"Less... I know this is a lot, especially since you didn't want any of it. But you're not alone. Me and Sophia will be here for you."

"No, you won't." Her voice sounded so hopeless and sad. "You're gonna have your own family to worry about and forget all about me."

"What? How could you think that? Yes, I'll be busy with my family, but you're still my family. I could never forget about you. You're my sister! And these babies are my family too. I might not be able to come all the time, but I'd never leave you in a lurch."

"Luca, I... I can't handle this!"

"You can! As soon as you see the babies, you'll know exactly what to do. It's in you! And maybe you won't like them, but you'll love them. And because you love them, you'll do whatever it takes to make sure they have everything they need."

"How do you believe that?" she asked.

"You come from a long line of amazing mothers. I'm sure you'll find your way."

"I doubt that, but I'm glad you believe in me."

I hated seeing her so down and wanted to cheer her up so badly. This moment was probably all wrong for our story, but she loved gossip even more than Mama. If I framed it right, maybe it would boost her spirits.

"You wanna know something Mama doesn't know?"

Her face was still droopy, but it lit up ever so slightly, just as I expected it would.

"Me and Sophia had trouble getting pregnant."

She gasped.

"Turns out we both had low fertility. We had to do IVF."

"Oh, Luca! I feel like such a dunce for complaining around you!"

"It's okay. You didn't know."

"Yeah, but still. Why didn't you say anything?"

"I mean, it doesn't segue well in conversation. 'Luca, I'm pregnant!' 'Oh yeah? I might not be able to have children.' Nah. Besides, by the end we were just so depressed like you are right now. We didn't want to bring anyone into that."

"I understand. I hate that for you, but I'm glad you finally got your baby. Do you want to meet mine? I know they'll be in love with you."

I was very surprised she invited me to feel the babies and hoped she was slowly coming around. I still couldn't believe she had THREE of them in her little body. I placed my hands on her tiny belly and felt an itty bitty bump. It was small, but it was there. Suddenly, hit me that I was an uncle! I never thought I'd be able to say that.

"Hey, little guys! This is Uncle Luca. I know it's a bit crowded in there, but play nice and be good for mommy, okay? I love you all so much!"

"You're such a doofus."

"Thank you, big brother. I don't deserve you."

"It's gonna be okay, Less. We got you."

[captainswhore]

AYYYOOOOO is this somethin y'all would like to read for reals??

shoutout to @chamomiletealeaf for talking to me about horny price with a breastfeeding wife!!!

we were talking about how for halloween one year price is a cowboy, the baby is a cow, and you're a milkmaid. price goes feral for your tits in the milk maid dress, smut ensues, price is wildly turned on by the way your tits leak milk like it's going out of style- groans when he sees it happen and wants to cum in record time

....... and then i went off the rails and wrote this:

you think his groan watching your milk is one of disgust so you start tearing up and john thought he was gonna cum quick watching your milk? he shoots his load without warning watching the first tear slide down your cheek

john thinks you're crying because you're so overstimulated and turned on, you think john groaned because he's disgusted, cue john trying to hold onto you tight and kiss all over your face and you wiggling out of his arms and booking it to the bathroom so you can cry in peace

come back out of the bathroom in a massive hoodie and a pair of pants, tell him in a croaky voice you're gonna go check on the baby, leave the room

johns post orgasm glow is very quickly squashed when he gets up to put on boxers, moves to follow you into the nursery, and hears you tearfully muttering things to your baby

"mommy loves you, you know that?? want you to grow up big, n strong, and loved," and when john hears your voice croak after that his heart drops out of his ass, he hears it shatter when you next mutter "and mommy and daddy are gonna give you everything you could ever want.... we'll live together and get you a good school and you'll make friends and you'll fall in love with someone who thinks you're the prettiest little lady ever... make sure you're confident so no one can build you up n break you down... get you some good military benefits so you'll be okay... i don't think you'll have to worry about a brother or sister at all- and i don't think mommy n daddy are gonna be able to stay together forever, but we're gonna try for you sweetheart. mommy'll be sad for a while but i'd do anything to make your life better baby"

john pushes the door open while trying to hold back tears, tries to wrap his arms around you, but you go to sit in the little rocking chair in the corner

whispering something like "i've got her john.... you can go back to bed. goodnight"

you've only ever called him john when you first met, and when you legally had to say his first name during your wedding vows.

for the next three days you don't let him touch you. not even in bed. he waits til you're fully asleep and breathing even before he'll pull you into his chest and finally fall asleep, only to wake up a few hours later with your body heat missing in the bed. will get up to find you in the nursery, or the kitchen, or the living room, or folding/watching laundry, staring into space with a blank stare. he gave up trying to reach out to you while you're awake, so he just stands and stares at you- taking in how beautiful he thinks you are despite the haunted shadows that have taken over your eyes. tried to tell you to come back to bed, before you sadly smile at him and say "sorry, can't sleep. probably just some weird post pregnancy sleep cycle issue. go back to sleep, i'll be there when i'm ready"

john has to get used to hugging your pillow and hope to god he can huff your scent from that to go to sleep

everything comes to a head when he catches you stiffen when he walks up behind you in the kitchen... he doesn't even reach for you, but him being close to you has you pulling at the neckline of your shirt, throwing on a jacket, adjusting the shoulder of your cardigan to cover up more of you. john's sick of not seeing your skin or feeling you anymore, so he asks what's wrong. some traded words here and there, a lot of wiping your face and folding in on yourself, and john finally scoffs, stands on the other end of the kitchen, and grinds out "love, talk to me, what did i do? i haven't bloody touched you for days. i can't sleep, i can't eat, and my heart shatters every time i look at your face and you're like a ghost! where did my wife go?!? is it post partum depression? aren't you still meeting up with that therapist? can i help? what do i do!! how do i get my wife back?!?" and you start crying- silent tears rolling down your cheeks because how can he ask that?!? how dare he act clueless and act like he didn't do anything wrong despite DESTROYING what little confidence you had left after being pregnant. you're about to respond when your alarm goes off for pumping time. you close the alarm, grab the pumping supplies, and walk off. ".... sorry john, i have to pump. let me do this n i'll come back to continue this conversation"..... but you have NEVER left the room to pump. you used to just whip your boobs out and attach the machine and let it whir away with john in the room. it's nothing he hasn't seen before, and he's helped you with clogged ducts before, so there's nothing stopping you from letting him watch. john trails after you saying that- replying with "the hell you have to leave the room for?!? you used to pump in front of me all the time?? what did i do?!? how do i get you back?!? sweetheart- i can't fix this if i don't know what's wrong?!?"

it's silent for a second, and your boobs are actually kind of starting to hurt from needing to pump. so you do it. you wait for john to keep talking when you set up the pumping supplies. when john sees your tits for the first time in what feels like weeks his breath hitches, and when he sees the first spurt of milk he groans out. you rush to cover up and look up at him bewildered and say "that!!! that's why!!! you're DISGUSTED with my boobs now- that's why everything's changed!!! look john- i'm sorry i'm not as perky, or soft, or fit as i was before i was pregnant, but i carried your fucking baby for NINE MONTHS!!!!! shit's gonna change!!! my boobs are gonna change!!! for the love of god- if you're going to be disgusted with me pumping and having breast milk i swear to GOD i will move in with my fucking mother and leave you if that'll make you happier!!! have as many perky and fit and non-mother women as you want here in our damn house if that'll help you get your rocks off"

johns heart breaks but can't figure out if he should be turned on by your anger or what the fuck to do

the baby starts screaming, you curse under your breath, before you say "... just forget it... let me go take care of her and i'll pack some stuff in the morning. i'll keep pumping and dropping milk off here until we figure out a parenting schedule or file for divorce or whatever. i can't take her out of her only home where she's comfy even though it's gonna shatter me to not be attached at the hip with her. i'm gonna go calm her down- i'll sleep in the guest room." and you stalk off

john starts genuinely crying then

.......before waiting outside if the nursery door. when you're done taking care of the baby? all bets are off.

he's pushing you into the wall and smashes his mouth to yours so hard your face hurts. he's breathing heavy and you're caught off guard and your head would have bashed into the wall if it weren't for his hand protecting the back of your skull. johns entire body is flush to yours, down to your fuckin knees. his scent crowds your space and you try to wrench your head away from him and shove his chest, before he begins just peppering your face in kisses

he says breathlessly "baby, if you ever think about leavin me," *kiss* "over some stupid shit your brain conjures up," *kiss* "ever again," *kiss* "i will hunt you down and drag you back here," *kiss* "kickin n screamin bloody murder," *kiss* "if i have to," *kiss* "... where did that idea come from, huh?" *kiss

til he fully pulls his head away, just enough to look in your eyes, and says "baby. love. dear. i think you are the most beautiful woman i have ever had the privilege of seeing in my entire life. i think you look sexiest as a mother. you're glowing, and you're all soft around the edges. you're my wife. i love you, and anything that's changed. you've carried my babe- you've taken care of her and loved her and watching you take to motherhood makes my heart and my cock swell so much im afraid they're gonna burst".... cue you crying, and giggling, and feeling his hard on grinding into the pudge of your tummy "if i ever hear you speakin about yourself like that again, i swear to all that is holy i will make you cum so hard you see stars and make you BELIEVE you're the most beautiful woman i have ever seen. i love you. if i'm honest, i never want you to not be with child ever again. you look so so beautiful all round and swollen with my babe, and the breast milk? an added bonus. fuck baby, you're so fuckin hot when i watch you pump i wanna cum in my pants like a teenager. fuck.... i lo-" he can't even finish before you smash your lips to his and drag him to bed

your next period is late. john was right. he was gonna get you pregnant again come hell or high water

......

SO LIKE IS THERE SOMETHING THERE OR AM I BEING DELUSIONAL?!?!? HELP.

[lippiethehoe]

Well hi tumblr queers again :D.

Okay so for starters CONTENT WARNING I'll be talking about sexuality sex and overall sexual stuff so if that's not something you wanna look at then don't read thanks :).

I kinda feel like starting a little conversation and also hopefully getting some answers from lgbts from tumblr which hmmm... idk if this is the best place for this, especially since I don't particularly have a big following, nor do I think I have the means to make this be more visible to randos on tumblr so hmm, if this amounts to nothing know I'll be embarassed about it but that's okay, but also I fucking hate reddit and all my google research efforts have resulted in either basically nothing or people asking similar questions to mine but having very deeply different prespectives of both gender in general and sexuality in general than me so google research didn't slay at all, and so I'll lend my trust to the tumblers ig.

Ok so hello, I'm lilly I'm a demiromantic trans woman and I've struggled for kind of a while with my sexuality, not because I don't know what it is, but because I'm actually a huge labels person. Having a word to describe the way i feel about things has always helped me feel as though I know myself better and can make others know me better aswell. Even if putting labels on complex human feelings and emotions is essentialy pointless, it's still something that means alot to me, and I hate that for the longest time I have been perfectly capable of knowing what my sexuality is, but can't simple it down to one word and use it on my day to day life and that makes me sad. It also makes me feel kinda alone in my feelings? cause I'm basically the only person i know with this prespective on my sexuality at least for now so I'm a bit confused, obviously I don't think I'm the only person like this cause that's basically impossible but it still feels that way ig?

Also I remembered this recently only because it's pride month, happy pride month btw :3, and I was doing a thing on discord where everyday I'd add a flag that I indetify with on my profile picture, problem is I've ran out of flags, because no sexual orientation feels right and from my knowledge of it there isn't a sexuality nor a flag for what I feel, and now not only does my discord pfp not look full of colors and pretty it also re-awakened a little identity crisis I've had for a while.

This is definetly gonna be a very long post but I won't feel like I explained myself correctly if it isn't a big post so bear with me, but let's start.

So I'm gonna start explaining how I personally view sexuality and gender so you, reader, can have all the means available to understand my prespective on this. Sexuality to me is kinda simple, simply means whatever a person is attracted to, what makes them sexually interested in someone, whatever other way you wanna put it, and gender is simply the way a person identifies themselves with, the eyes they navigate the world through, the way they percieve themselves and the way they want to be percieved as by others etcetera, I won't explain my prespective on romanticism cause that's essentially useless to my question, but yeah simple stuff right?

So here's where I don't believe I fit in with most sexualities, here's the question I've had for quite a while but never thought to express it in a place where more than just a few friends could hear, I am not sexuality attracted to genders, ok now is when someone screams at me and says pansexual, I don't agree, but moving on, I'm not sexually attracted to people much, I am sexually attracted to penis tho, and here's where someone screams heterosexual at me AND IF YOU DID I FUCKING HATE YOU FYI NOT CAUSE I HATE HETEROS BUT BECAUSE THAT AS AN ANSWER TO WHAT I SAID IS FUCKING TRANSPHOBIC, YEAH I SAID IT, BITCH!!!

But here's the thing, what is a gender, ok I wrote alot after i said that but deleted it all cause this could fall into a very long rabbit hole, but gender's a construct blah blah, can you tell I probably have some neurodivergencies going on in the head anyways continuing. Genuinely, I don't know what it feels like to be a sexuality that includes gender in it, not because I don't think it to be true obviously i know people are heterosexual bisexual homosexual lesbians any other sexual orientation that implies gender being a part of the equation. But to me I can't be sexually attracted to men because a man can be anything to me, I can't be sexually attracted to women because a woman can be anything to me, i can't be sexually attracted to enbys cause being non-binary can be anything to me and the list goes on. Nothing is set in gender because to me gender can look like, feel like, and be like anything, if I labeled myself heterosexual, sexually attracted to people of the opposite gender of me, what would I mean by it? cause think about it, there're big men small men skinny fat muscular men hairy shaved brown eyed dark skinned pussy having dick having blah blah blah and the list goes on again, and even in there I'm not specifically attracted to any of the traits on that list anyways, none of those traits sexually arouse me, men don't sexually arouse me, women don't sexually arouse me, but you know what does? penis. So therein lies the issue, cause surprise, there's a bunch of dicks in the world, what? that's crazy? Yeah penis is everywhere, there're men with penises women with penises nonbinaries with penises intersex people with penises dildos people with strap-ons and the list goes on and in that entire list, the only thing that sexualy arouses me personally, is penis, not who has it, not wether or not it was there from birth, not wether or not it's made of plastic or human skin, not wether or not I'm specifically sexually attracted to any other aspect of said person, but simply the thing that sexually arrouses me and makes me feel pleasure is the thing that sexually attracts me, which in my head is so fucking obvious? Like it's a conclusion so natural to me, but it seems I'm the only person in a 50 km radius that feels this way? It's also possible that I'm actually wrong and view the current existing sexualities in the wrong way and if that's what's up please tell me.

Also i feel the rising tension of someone saying stuff like "people can sexually stimulate others with fingers are u FiNgErSeXuAl?" and the truth is not really but I still find it sexually arousing when it happens, but the last thing I'm gonna do is look at fingers and blush I think. WOAH THAT JUST OPENED A NEW DOOR FUCKK OH NO THIS IS GONNA BE TOO LONG MAYBE I SHOULDN'T POST THIS IDK. I am also sexually attracted to certain actions, but at this point I feel I'm leaving sexuality and going into kink territory and that isn't really where I wanted to go. EITHER WAY my overall conclusion is I don't understand most sexualities and feel as though my view of my sexuality should have a label so I feel more comfortable, maybe I should be the catalyst who knows maybe someone's already been the catalyst and I'm simply unaware of that, either way I'd like a sexuality flag to add to my discord pfp so maybe I'll just make a flag up, who fucking knows, that's it tho. So yeah if anyone who sees this post experiences anything similar to this and wants to share about it please do I'd be really thankful.

Thank you so much if you sticked with me all the way to the end, and if you feel like you might have some insight on what I'm saying or simply wanna say something relevant to this topic please do, it's pride month and I'm incredibly proud of all queers and gender fuckers :3 happy pride month!

Ps: I just wanna say something, this isn't an invitation to flirt with me send me unsolicited dick pics or respond to things I clearly showed not to be questions, I want this topic to be taken in more of a discussion way than a sexual one, if that could be possible I'd be thankful, ok that's it bie bie.

[autismserenity]

I'm so fucking done right now

I have a friend. We're going to call her "AAAAAAA!!!!"

AAAAAAA!!!! and I have been friends for more than twenty years. LONG before I started converting to Judaism.

She grew up in an area Jewish enough to get the high holy days off. She has as many Jewish friends as I do. She is more knowledgeable about Jewish stuff than anyone else I know who isn't Jewish. To the point that I've sometimes thought about asking her why she doesn't convert.

Sure, she's a staunch atheist. So nu?

I don't think we'd ever had occasion to talk about I/P politics before a couple of years ago. We immediately discovered we had uhhhhh. Very opposing views. We both backed off of what was clearly going to be a charged and messy discussion.

I didn't know enough yet to try anyway. All I knew, mainly, was that (1) Jews are the indigenous people of Israel and (2) both Israel and Palestine have Done Bad Shit!

That's a very, very, very inadequate understanding. But I did feel pretty confident that point #1 contradicted her apparent stance, which was more "Israel is the one that has Done Bad Shit."

We backed off for a couple of years. She would occasionally mention how much she wished I would read Edward Said, so we could talk about him.

She is, to her credit, totally against Hamas's attack. But we conflict on most other issues. And they're so charged for her that we can't really talk about any of them.

It turns out that the reason they're so charged is that her niece got yelled at and called out for "being an antisemite" for supporting BDS in college, and it was traumatizing for her.

In other words, she and her family stopped at "I had really really big feelings of shame and fear about this," and chose not to see "and I tried to find out why this marginalized group was saying that" as an option.

And also, AAAAAAA!!!!'s sister, a local elementary school principal, went through a stressful time recently for similar reasons: Jewish families were accusing her and/or her school of being antisemitic, and one (1) family left.

AAAAAAAA!!!! set the boundary, with me, that we should not talk about the definition of antisemitism, or antisemitism related to the protest movement, after I posted a list of things on Facebook that the ADL is charging the Berkeley Unified School District with.

Including that K-12 students have been saying and/or writing, "Kill the Jews," "Jews are stupid," "Of course it was the Jews," and telling Jewish peers, "I don't like your people."

My friend is angrily convinced that "such accusations are a flood of SEWAGE smeared on protesters, professors, etc. I am not saying there is no antisemitism, though Berkeley is a very weird place for it to crop up in the from-zero-to-a-thousand way it is described. Of course there can be a) isolated incidents that hit fucking hard in these circumstances, and b) deliberate elisions between, again, being against what Israel is doing, and having that portrayed as being antisemitic."

/looks at the camera/

All of this is just context for what I came here to say 😅

I WAS TONIGHT YEARS OLD WHEN I FOUND OUT WHAT EDWARD SAID WROTE, AND WHAT THE ENTIRE FUCK. FUCK THAT DUDE TWICE.

Constantine Zurayk's fiction that the “Arab nation” suffered the Nakba didn’t survive for long. [By 1967,] the meaning of the Nakba had already changed as Palestinian activists and historians began depicting the events of 1948 exclusively as a tragedy for their own people.

...The most influential of those [new books that framed it that way,] particularly for audiences in the West, was Edward W. Said’s The Question of Palestine, published in 1979.

Said, a popular Columbia University English professor [OH HELLO] and a member of the Palestinian National Council, was something of an icon in liberal intellectual circles because of his earlier book, Orientalism. In that work, Said framed the history of colonialism in the Arab and Islamic world within a system of Western racialist thought.

I'm just gonna guess that he didn't go back farther than 50 years. Because before that point, you get 1,300 years or so of Arab and Islamic colonialism, and I don't know how it would make sense to frame that within a system of Western racialist thought.

In The Question of Palestine, the author argued that the game was stacked against the native Palestinians in favor of the white Zionists, because of the same dominant racist ideologies.

THAT'S HIM, OFFICER. THAT'S THE GUY.

That's what my friend has been trying to get me to read for three years? An ahistoric mess that pretends Jews were actually white supremacists at the time that white supremacy was actively trying to wipe us out?

I'M SO TIRED, YOU GUYS.

Said denounced “the entrenched cultural attitude toward Palestinians deriving from age-old Western prejudices about Islam, the Arabs, and the Orient. This attitude, from which in its turn Zionism drew for its view of the Palestinians, dehumanized us, reduced us to the barely tolerated status of a nuisance.”

Yeah, THAT'S what happened.

“Certainly, so far as the West is concerned,” Said continues, “Palestine has been a place where a relatively advanced (because European) incoming population of Jews has performed miracles of construction and civilizing and has fought brilliantly successful technical wars against what was always portrayed as a dumb, essentially repellent population of uncivilized Arab natives.”

This was a harsh and distorted view of the Zionist movement.

I said I was so fucking done, and what I MEANT was that I was so fucking angry, and NOW I'M TEXTING HER SUPPORTIVELY ABOUT OTHER STUFF WHILE I WRITE THIS.

I just.

Please drag Edward Said for me or otherwise Go Off. Thank you

[wellthatschaotic]

neurotypicals are so frustrating,, i keep forgetting that "can you do x" means "go do x"

[medicinemane]

And maybe you'll be like "but if you don't trust businesses, how can you trust welfare?"

I fucking don't. My mom trying to get on food stamps fucked me up because a lady I never met without my permission got my SSN from my mom and started editing my files. My heart still races to this very second whenever I think about it, it kinda messed me up bad and I'll never ever ever see any kind of recourse

And I'm terrified that I'm gonna lose my medicaid just cause I inherited some money from my grandpa

And I've never even applied for disability cause it kinda doesn't matter finding out if I'd qualify or not cause of my depression, when the rules are so restrictive I don't know if I've even be allowed to keep my house

I do not fucking trust these things on a personal level. I feel like out of a lot of people I have the most to fear from them cause I'm on the edge of having things work, and that gets you punished

...but I need medicaid in order to have insurance (and when you strip out the finance side of medicaid, I love medicaid... they're honestly incredible insurance... I just... I just... dental is like 90% of why medicaid is so important to me, ever since I found out this state pays for it I've actually been able to do cleanings which is important to me cause I can't always get myself to brush)

And I think things like disability and food stamps are pretty damn important on a personal level, and honestly are also good for the economy cause they get people spending... it's practically a free cash infusion into the economy, cause these are people who need to buy stuff

There's just so much important stuff welfare does that it's worth dealing with government

No, what I want is more accountability so if someone gets my SSN from a 3rd party like my mom they're held to HIPPA styles standards where that's not ok to access my files without my permission (She changed my fucking address and tried to get medicaid to investigate me for fraud! Never even met me)

Like have some accountability there and in every situation

Secondly I want less punitive focused rules. I'd frankly prefer bezos get on disability than smack down some poor sod cause they got $2000 in the bank or cause their friend lets them live with them for free

If there's gonna be a cut off on these programs, it needs to be a solid step above the poverty line, cause... by definition I assume poverty line denotes kinda the minimum expected income people can reasonably live off of, and if you take away benefits people are gonna lose a chunk of money to covering that stuff themself, so you need a buffer before you kick people off

I don't fucking trust the government for a second, I've actively been fucked by them and on a personal level I avoid everything but medicaid and only that cause everything but the money is pleasant to deal with and I kinda need it (honestly if I was rich I'm not even kidding that I'd rather give medicaid like $400 a month than some insurance company, I sincerely like them as insurance)

But I'd trust them a lot more if they were less punitive, less out to hunt me down and gut me cause someone handed me a fiver or cause I started to get on my feet, and if government employees had concrete rules they had to follow that were actually transparent and enforced

Like 90% of my problems with welfare go away if they're held accountable and there's less "catch the welfare cheats" mentality going around

I don't trust the government in the slightest, but sadly there some jobs it kinda has to do, so I'd just rather force it to be an open book where the public can keep an eye on it and if they step out of line there's consequences (sort of like I don't trust most mega corps but happen to sometimes need stuff from them... did you know literally every cell service provider has been illegally selling shit like your location data to random people like bounty hunters, and the FCC just slapped them with a fine that's 0.02% of their yearly incomes and debated even doing that? I even can offer a source on that)

...I don't trust much of any authority cause they constantly fail me and kinda screw me. Don't trust doctors either, but I still gotta go to them, you know? ...they're just... they're real bad at listening... so many systems need systemic change

(You know who I really don't trust is the cops. I could point to so many examples. My uncle doesn't trust cops either, and he's an ex Fire and SWAT paramedic, he worked with them and we still got into a long conversation where he basically tore into them far better than I can)

(I don't trust authority that's not accountable)