#i fucking hate the people where im from but who cares i literally dont talk to anyone

[inez-winchester-cameron]

omg pls write more of what you just posted of rafe with that age gap it's sooo hot 😭 like something about the reader being bratty on purpose and sassing him

cw: dark!rafe x younger!reader, 29 and 19, non-con/rape, drug use, intoxicated reader, talks of free use and public sex, abusive relationship

note: is this too dark, yes or no

rafe HATES when you disobey at parties. ever since you two have started dating, you have a bad habit of misbehaving at parties to get more attention from rafe. whether that be overdrinking, snorting coke, smoking weed, or flirting with other guys. all of these being things that you KNOW rafe disapproves of.

tonight, it happened to be a mix of all of them. you went to the restroom and came back to rafe talking with one of his ex girlfriends, sofia. you completely being oblivious to the fact that he was telling her off. you huff and head back into the room where topper and kelce sit.

they're doing lines and drinking, sitting on opposite sides of a loveseat.

"hey, y/n, have a seat," topper politely greets you, gesturing to an empty chair beside the loveseat but you smile and sit inbetween topper and kelce. they give eachother a look but say nothing.

"whatcha guys doin?" you ask, looking over toppers shoulder as he sets up a line.

"coke, nothing you should concern yourself with."

"yeah rafe would kill us if he knew you were anywhere near this," kelce comments.

"hes too busy bein up sofia's pussy to care. can i do a line?"

kelce and topper both look at you at this comment, a little shocked. they knew rafe and how loyal he was to you, he never even so much as entertained another girl.

"you saw him up her pussy?" kelce asks, confused.

"well no but- it doesnt even matter, just let me do a line."

"sweetheart i dont think-" topper starts.

"pleaseeeeee?" you beg, giving him puppy eyes.

topper sighs and glances to kelce who shrugs. eventually topper responds, "okay fine, sweetie, but you cannot tell rafe."

"i won't, promise! ill even pinky promise if you want!"

topper stares at you for a moment, finding your innocence both endearing and hot at the same time. too bad you aren't his. topper sets up a line for you and gently guides you onto your knees in front of the table. he gives you the dollar bill and guides you as you snort it. you let it sit for a minute, not feeling anything, then it hits. and you want more.

"again!" you say, looking at topper, feeling your brain begin to buzz.

"yeah no i don't-"

"what the fuck are you doing?"

your eyes shoot to the doorway. rafe stands there, arms crossed, hair messy, blood on his knuckles, and he looks pissed.

"rafey!" you greet him, trying to pretend you didn't just snort cocaine. you stand up, swaying, and subsequently falling back onto the couch.

"what the fuck guys?" rafe questions, walking over to you. he looks pissed, "how much did you give her?"

"just a line, man, she asked for it. quite literally," kelce speaks first and topper agrees.

"i didn't know you don't let her do that man, im sorry-" topper defends himself and rafe shakes his head, calming down a bit.

"nah you're good, man. it's her fault. come on, princess, we have some business to discuss." rafe says through gritted teeth, roughly grabbing your arm and heading to his room. once you're upstairs and away from people, he starts scolding you, "what the fuck were you thinking? you know so much better than that."

"you were talking to Sof-"

"yeah i was telling her to go suck a fucking dick. then i beat the shit out of her boyfriend for calling you a whore. but maybe he was right, you don't think about anyone but yourself, huh? always just assuming. saw the way you were staring at top." rafe speaks with no sympathy and you two slip into his bedroom. he presses you down onto the bed, holding your hands behind your back as he flips your little skirt up, "no panties? you fucking serious? god what is wrong with you? you stupid little whore."

you hear his belt unbuckle and your head continues buzzing from your high. soon enough, you feel his cock, pushing into you. it's immediately too much.

"rafe-! no no no-"

"don't tell me fucking no, bitch. act like a whore, get treated like one. maybe i should've just fucked you downstairs," rafe starts, setting a fast pace with his thrusts, not hearing any of your protests, "or maybe i should tie you up down there, let all these drunk men use your holes since you wanna disobey. i think that's a fair punishment, huh? i try to be nice and defend your honor and you make eyes at two of my best friends. fucking bitch."

"rafe i didn't- i don't want this- stop!" you beg but rafe doesn't care. he simply tugs your hair in response as you start crying. your head is pounding and it's all too much.

"that's it, cry for it, bitch. this is my fucking pussy and i'm gonna use it when i want. now whine one more time and i'm gonna make this pussy free use to the entire island."

you whimper and stay quiet in response. you think about leaving rafe, but you can't, you love him and maybe you even secretly loved being fucked against your will.

[bestlilithian]

Home is the first grave.

[ Moon-Pluto, Pluto in 4th house culture ]

tw for various mentions of abuse and death as well as mental problems, sh and su!cide, also needles (dont ask)

- may have experienced a lot of death in thr family or in the close neighborhood

- feel more connected to your dead relatives than your alive ones

- there mightve been a death in your family before you were born

- feeling peacful in graveyards

- may have fantasized about death/su!cide, might percieve death as something that brings peace (hence the fantasies, because really all you ever wanted was peace)

- wanting peace but knowing you cannot have it because of your nature; feeling like theres just something in your blood in your soul that is uncontrollable and overwhelming

- your household was always a house , never a home

- being raised by very old people, enjoying the presence of much older wiser people (like, literal elders not hot teachers 💀)

- enduring literal psychological warfare in your home (usual your mother waged war on you as soon as you were old enough to form a coherent critical thought)

- "I hate you, dont leave me" (might be the attitude of your mother towards you, or yours towards others you love)

- Your mother always knew when you were lying or hiding something. Especially if she had a scorpio moon or moon/pluto aspects herself. You grew up extremely fearful of her.

- moon pluto culture is hearing your mother talk lovingly about her own fucked up mother, she never accepted the severity of her own abuse, until of course she needs to use it in an argument against you "Im a great mother, my mother was so much worse"(basically Im good because I abuse you differently than I was abused 😍 same shit different package)

- not liking motherly women or women who try to be mother figures to you, feeling uncomofortable around them; youre uncomfortable with how much you crave motherly love and people who can provide you that become threats because of the power they could have over you if you opened up

- being betrayed by the women in your life, especially those who were much older and supposed to take care of you (teachers, tutors, family members, therapists, babysitters..)

- toxic female friends 😁🔫 bonus : really close but toxic female friendships in youth that feel like death when you end them even though you know it was necessary

- feeling pain so deeply you think you will drop dead or have a heart attack. (When I was little and depressed I wrote in a diary of mine "My body will kill me before I get to")

more on this : when you start crying because of immense emotional pain and suddenly your heart is burning and beating too fast and youre getting light headed and throwing up , and suddenly youre not crying because of the pain, youre crying because youre afraid youre about to have a heart attack and die

- fearing that your mother will k word herself or you if you try to leave her (harsh aspects mostly)

- learning what emotional violence is very early, how to wield it and defend against it

- turning your emotions off completely for a while and then having a nervous breakdown when it all rushes back

- reading up on psychology, psychiatry and works of psychotherapists so you can heal and never become your mother

- wanting to put a bullet in your head when you notice yourself thinking or behaving like your mother

- going home after you spent time somewhere where you felt good and safe is extremely dreadful

- your mother doesnt see you as a human being (harsh aspects especially), and may take you a while to figure this out

- extremely controlling behavior from your mother or other caretakers (for example my mother threatened to send people to stalk me when I moved to a diff city, to 'make sure Im not doing something bad')

- deeply grieving the loss of your childhood and your inner child

- almost choking while crying or passing out

- feeling like youre a horrible person and dont deserve your family [because youre in deep denial and are seeing the flaws of your family as your own and denying your own trauma]

- learning about sex early on, perhaps early sexual obsession but not like promiscuity more like craving for deep intimacy (also you were probably deeply ashamed of it)

- not telling your family (esp mother) anything because they will ruin it for you

- being accused of being a psychopath, uncaring, selfish for "not loving your family enough"

- not knowing how to feel about the members of your family that played a more passive role in your life because they didnt do anything wrong but they didnt do anything right either; surely they knew , why didnt they stop it? why didnt they save you? (Im talking about adults obviously)

- your parents mightve been much older when you were born, you might have siblings much older than you

- doing anything to avoid your intense emotions and then when you break down and feel everything you realize how freeing it is and how comfortable you actually are with the intensity

- gutteral reactions to songs you deeply relate to (I hear 10 seconds of 'Slipping through my fingers' and I am dead on the floor)

- being afraid of your mother or just of your family in general

- you could probably kill someone with your bare hands if you were angry and hurt enough

- scary as fuck when you actually show your anger

- if you cry in the midst of a fight (verbal or physical) ... someone tell that person to make peace w God . cause thats you crying because of what youre about to do, because thats you loosing the last crumb of humanity you had for them and that can only end one way.

- you would probably kill for your loved ones

- your friends feel like you would help them hide a body (and you probably would)

- recognizing people by footsteps and breathing patterns (especially family members)

- deep deep eyes, people can see war and death them, and they feel like you see their pain too (because you do)

- reading people easily

- enjoying? cruelty (to yourself or others), like getting impulses to do something that would cause you or someone else that ugly feeling of facing cruelty

- finding comfort in the cold and the dark

- insane nightmares since youth, growing to be used to them

- its very hard to shock you

- you know when someones lying

- you might dread certain types of pain yet feel pleasure from them (personally I hate having my blood taken for a test but then I end up immensely enjoying the feeling of a needle pricking my skin and going deep into my vein)

- feeling the need to "kill" some your habits; most likely to drop things cold turkey and be extremely strict in breaking bad habits

- might enjoy really dark, emotionally and morally complex media

- immediately recognizing other moon pluto people and trauma bonding

- extremely good pain endurance. not necessarily tolerance , but endurance. you feel the pain and do it anyway.

- might not react to physical pain at all from a young age

- fantasies about drowning or slipping away peacfully

- either loving deep waters or hating them

- randomly breaking down in the middle of the day because of some pain you buried 5 years ago

- might self harm a lot because of your complex relationship w pain, it genuinely helps sometimes

- home feels like literal prison

- seeing the value in suffering, you might reject the idea that suffering is bad and should be avoided and prevented at all costs

- you might become religious as you mature (but usually in your own way, not necessarily according to tradition)

- forced to eat or denied food in your home, this mightve fucked up your relationship with food

And lastly, I need you to engrave this in yourself :

Wrong love is not love.

[ivorsblocksleeve]

the mcsm fandom fuckin sucks dude

As a long time member of the furry, danganronpa, and BNHA fandom im not the type of person who likes to generalize entire fandoms based off of experiences i hear about or have with other people in said fandoms. but the MCSM fandom is such a filthy stain on the internet and so many people in the community have gotten WAY out of hand. the constant racism and whitewashing of characters. people publicly talking about NSFW topics in numerous discord servers that have children in them, sometimes with people under 13 years old. the ridiculous amount of drama surrounding character headcanons among other things. its RIDICULOUS

im a black guy. i can care less about the "issue of blackwashing", it does not exist and never has existed. i care a LOT about the whitewashing in this community. there are multiple jesse skins for a reason, to represent a ton of different peoples races! red suspenders jesse is literally WHITE! if you want to draw white jesse draw HIM! why are people whitewashing the other jesse skins? why are people whitewashing characters like radar, stella, olivia, etc?? MCSM as a game has blessed its community with a wide range of characters of different ethnicities and races (even if not directly stated) and none of them are stereotyped, theyre all incredibly well written and have great characterizations but unappreciative morons are choosing to whitewash the shit out of them :/. the characters are so easy to colorpick. theyre minecraft characters. literally pixels. coloring people of different skin colors is NOT a difficult thing. have some common sense and use references properly.

im an adult who likes adult things. as an adult i understand boundaries and that talking to minors about sexual headcanons is NOT a good thing! woah! some of you dont understand how important it is to tag certain shit on different sites correctly or how to keep conversations about NSFW topics away from people who are WAY younger than you. vague jokes are one thing but time after time ive either heard or seen myself that grown ass people are describing explicitly sexual things with minors. gross much???? and PUBLICLY of all things. its one thing to have your own friend group or whatever, its fine to discuss things in private so long as its with someone in your fucking age range but JESUS CHRIST! MCSM discord servers have become BREEDING GROUNDS for these kinds of adult NSFW discussions with minors and it only creates a domino effect where they too start sharing that in OTHER MCSM servers with OTHER minors. ITS GROSS!!

(whole paragraph above also applies to headcanons and aus that are also potentially triggering. jesus christ some things should just be kept in private convos on the internet)

and my god the DRAMA over characters its insane. its completely fine to dislike certain headcanons and to have certain opinions on them. you can publicly voice your opinions in a RESPECTFUL manner. it really is not hard.?? at all. there are a ton of headcanons i hate personally, i rant about them in private and if i ever feel like voicing about them in public ill say it in a respectful manner. if someone dislikes a headcanon you like it is not a personal attack on your entire being. relax dude. i will always agree with the statement that fiction affects reality but my god they are just FICTIONAL CHARACTERS that you do not know personally and you do NOT need to go on a rampage and witch-hunt people because people say things like "i think xyz character has a different body type!" or "i think xyz character is a certain sexuality!". this especially applies to age headcanons. ages are NOT CANON, sure there are characters that appear to be older than others but ages are always up for speculation. not everyone is going to agree with your "minor coded" headcanons, dont attack and throw proshipper/pedo accusations on people who dont? id go into the infantilization of the characters who get this kinda treatment but different problem different day. point is, headcanons are headcanons and sending swarms of people after people who disagree with them is DUMB and STUPID and NOT NICE! stop doing that

in general this fandom harbors horrible mindsets and even more horrible people who i will not name and frankly its getting very frustrating seeing how the people in this fandom treat each other. have some respect for others and also yourselves. fix up your behaviors, dont make your bad attitudes everyones problem, and spend some time off the internet. have a good day yall

[pinkandlilacroses]

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡⋆

Angel - Paige bueckers

part 3

• summary {when an unsuspecting girl falls for the basketball star}

• warnings {drug use, angst}

• comment if you would like to be added to the taglist

bella’s pov

“ok you can go now” she says, emotionless

“oh”

“i mean, no offence but i have a girl coming soon, so you cant be here” she says laying on her back, breaking our eye contact

i don’t respond and put my clothes back on. this is fucked

“have a nice night”

i haven’t cried this much in months, walking through the halls, ugly crying.

‘paige’ has been blocked by ‘bella’

“bella whats wrong” avery says, empathetically

“i hate her, i hate her so much” i cry, barley being able to choke the words out

i look at avery after my response and i have never seen her that angry, there could fully be steam coming from her ears.

“please dont talk to her, please dont hurt her, please avery, please” i cry out, begging the infuriated girl

“why not bella, she deserves it” she yells

my tears dont stop and i feel like they will never stop pouring.

“tell me what she did”

i begin the tell her the events of tonight and her anger only grows.

“that fucking bitch” is all she can say in response

“but i blocked her, and im literally never gonna speak to her again” i say, trying to make a positive point, to counteract this negative situation

“you are never gonna speak to her again”

“im gonna go off to bed”

i feel broken, i got used. i wanted my first time with a girl to be meaningful, i know i like girls and i wanted to prove to myself that having sex with girls wasn’t wrong, but i feel wrong, i feel gross. i cant believe i would let myself be that vulnerable with someone i barley know. ive never been the one to have one night stands and ive only ever had sex with someone ive been in a relationship with.

i take my valium, something i swore to never use again after getting addicted, but its the only thing that works.

“hey, how are you feeling” avery ask’s, genuinely. i’ve never seen her be this gentle before

“wheres my weed”

“bella no”

“shut up avery”

i walk to the kitchen and unlock one of the drawers, and i see the stash. thank god

i know i shouldn’t smoke as a coping mechanism, but its the only thing that works, every time something bad happens to me, i turn to smoking

after going through 3 joints, im barley able to talk or stand up. perfect

knock

ugh

knock

fuck off

knock

“who is it” i say, it barley even sounded like words

“its azzi, is avery here”

who the fuck is azzi

“avery theres a bitch here for you” i say taking another drag

“oh my god! hey azzi” avery says, excitedly, why the fuck is she acting like that

“why are you so fucking happy” i ask, knowing full well how rude i sound

“this is azzi, shes in my psychology class and we have gotten pretty close” avery says, grabbing azzi and sitting next to me on the couch

“yo dont sit on my shit” i say, mad

“your bella right?” azzi says, happily. i hate happy people

“yeah”

“yeah avery’s told me alot about you” she says

“cool” i reply, dryly

“azzis on the basketball team” avery says, my eyes widen

“of course she is” i say, sarcastically. i hate basketball

“yeah, have you been to any games” she questioned, attempting to continue this boring conversation

“nah, i dont watch basketball”

“oh well you should sometime, avery keeps saying how she wants to go to a game” azzi says, looking at avery who begins giggling. sus

“bella your probably friends with some people on the team” avery says

“you wanna hit” i offer to azzi

“nah, i dont smoke”

“boring” i say, bluntly

“do you guys mind if some of my friends come over” azzi says

“no, no, thats perfectly fine” avery says, looking at azzi. basically eye fucking her

“who” i ask

“ice, kk, aubrey, nika and ashlee” she lists

fuck my life. im to high to care

“yeah whatever” i say, lazily

“ok perfect, ill tell them to come” azzi says, excitedly

“are you sure” avery whispers to me, being nice. for once

“i dont give a fuck, its fine” i say taking a drag

im so high. god damn

10 minutes later all of azzis friends turn up, why are they all so tall. what the fuck

avery introduces herself to them and points them to our couch

“hey im kk, your bella right” kk asks

“yeah im bella”

“hey im ice”

“hey im nika”

“hey im ashlee”

“hey im aubrey”

to many people to remember

until

“oh paige came to, i hope you dont mind” azzi says to us, mostly avery

avery says nothing, myself included

“hi paige” avery says, extremely cold

“come sit guys” azzi says, breaking the silence. i wish i wasn’t so high cause i wanna go to my room

everyone sits on the couch, paige sitting the furthest away from me. funny. not funny. not laughing

conversation begins and everyone is involved. everyone but me, ugh i’m so uncomfortable

paige keeps looking at me, and yes i’m noticing because i’m looking at her to.

paige’s pov

fuck. why do i keep looking at her.

she blocked me last night so obviously shes mad about my actions last night, its just a hookup, nothing more.

its not that deep

“i’m going to bed” bella says, slurring and barely able to stand up. i didn’t know she smoked that much, i guess i don’t know anything about her. but i don’t care.

“paige are you ready to go” kk and ice say to me

“yeah, aubrey, nika, azzi, u ready to go”

“yeah lets go”

“actually im gonna stay” azzi says. sus

“buy guys” is said in unison

azzis pov

“ugh finally” avery says, while smashing her lips onto mine

A/N: im being active rn lolll. how do we like avery and azzi

[wannabe-skinni-qween]

tw vent

genuinely so fucking sick and tired of everything. hate myself more than anything, but so does literally everyone so what does it matter. no matter how much i struggle someone in the world has it worse. i have a perfect life, perfect family, perfect house, perfect everything. im the only problem with all of this. other ppl do so much for me and love me and take care of me but it js makes me angry. ik im an awful person for saying this and ppl r gna hate me but i js need to talk, i wish i had it worse. i tell people this shit and i always get "no u dont u dk what its like its horrible you dont want this" but i do.

i wish i'd have been SA'd, i wish i'd have been abused, i wish i did drugs, i wish my parents hated me. idk why but i just crave sickness so much. i want to be sick beyond help to the point where it consumes my life and i finally have enough motivation to kms. the only reason i cvt is because i want to get addicted to it.

its been like this for years. the only thing i want in life is attention, idc how i get it or who i get it from. i live on it. yk those coaches on here? i dont block them a lot of the time. i give them exactly what they want because they tell me i have a pretty face. ik theyre lying but its all i need to hear. i send nood pics to old men all the time. men who know im a minor and love it. they dont love me as a person tho and its fine.

i worry that people wont care abt me when im an adult. like i wont be a child anymore, i wont be taken care of. ill get a lame job and meet a lame man and have a shitty wedding and shit out ugly babies that look exactly like me, and grow up to hate themselves exactly as i do now.

i plan on dying before i turn 18. but time is moving too fast and im getting too close to my deadline, so im trying to make everything worth it before i go. its hard to do that tho, i dont have any friends irl, i dont go to school. i go to a school made for retarded kids a few hours a week. i dont do anything while im there. js stare at the words because i genuinely cnt read it properly. like ik what the words say (though it can take a minute) but i dont understand anything. all i do is sit in my room and wait until someone talks to me.

and there's no way for me to ever feel better because i dnt want to. im a terrible person because of that and i dont like it, but it wont ever change

ik probably nobody even read this (i yap sm 😭) but i js needed to get some stuff off my chest

[devine-fem]

dctwt is getting on my god damn nerves, i don’t care who sees this. you guys need to leave each other alone with these shipping wars. im talking about batjokes vs twobat. why are people saying “why can’t you just ship twobat like a normal person” and hating on anyone who indulges in batjokes ever to the point where they literally cannot do anything or say anything/post anything. do people need at least one thing to hate on in order to feel better about themselves and their opinion? theres no damn reason you should be telling people what to like and what not to like no matter what context. i don’t care what it is. this is kindergarten manners and im sick of it.

do better.

“need i remind you joker killed jason?” im sure batjokes shippers are not dumb. they know. need i remind you that villians DO BAD THINGS? LIKE THATS WHAT THEY ARE THERE FOR? NEED I REMIND YOU THAT DARK AND TOXIC ROMANCE IS DARK AND TOXIC?

“he would never do this with the joker” WHY THE FUCK DO YOU CARE WHAT ORHER PEOPLE HEADCANON SO MUCH? SHUT THE FUCK UP. quote tweeting someones art to shit on it because it got a lot of likes and youre spiteful it got so many likes is literally lifeless behavior??

no i dont care who i offend or who sees this, im already getting hate for defending my fav character from racism, so come at me. say something. its really gotten to the point where i dont gaf about the ship being shit on, you people are just deadass annoying.

[yikessmicah]

bloodweave

heres some bloodweave brainrot copy pasted directly from my priv twitter bc i was going insane at like 3am last night

// tw mention/brief discussion of astarion and gale's trauma, including sexual trauma. ill highlight it red so you can read the rest if youd like while avoiding the triggering part.

also obvious spoilers for part of astarion and gale's personal stories/quests.

AND DISCLAIMER this is my opinion and straight up brainrot u can ship whoever u want in bg3 idc <3

-----

sorry im having bloodweave brainrot because out of everyone in the camp i think gale Would be the objectively best match for astarion to be in a successful relationship with.

he wouldn't push him to do anything (tho i dont think any of the companions would, but ykwim) and since gale has his own form of relationship and sexual trauma (the fact mytsra groomed him since he was Literally a child and was only ever intimate with him on the astral plane therefore he's never had real physical human touch and intimacy) it would be overwhelming for him too!!

hed WANT to take it slow, he'd WANT to be as accomodating and like. he also has something on his body that represents his trauma the same way astarion does!! astarion has his scars and gale has the orb tattoo on his chest. i also think just. astarion's whole life as a spawn was only surrounded by people he Hated talking to. people who would spit insults and berate him, treat him like he was pathetic and disgusting - but gale? gale of waterdeep who never fucking shuts up?

gale of waterdeep who would gladly wake up and immediately shower him with compliments using words astarion had never even heard before? gale who would would describe astarion's features for him re: him not being able to see his reflection in such words and with such ease that eventually astarion starts to *like* the fact he doesnt have a reflection?

gale of waterdeep who would spend every waking moment of his day - that he wasnt spending talking to or being with astarion - working on a way to cure astarion of his vampirism or at Least a way for him to walk in the sun?

GALE OF WATERDEEP . who would gladly and without fucking question give up touching astarion ever again if he told him to?

gale of waterdeep who would answer every question astarion had? who would comfort his every dark thought?

gale of fucking waterdeep who would CARE for astarion so fucking well that he would genuinely start believing and KNOWING !!! he was worthy of love.

gale of FUCKING !! WATEDEEP !! who would vow to never shut up again if thats what helped astarion deal with the memories of sitting alone in a dungeon for months or YEARS at a time at the hands of cazador (not that that would be particularly hard with how me he talks already /pos).

gale who would gladly give up ever seeing the sun again and completely flipping his sleep schedule if it meant being able to walk the streets with astarion safely.

gale who would truly and wholly give nothing but his honest and real self. bare and beaten but NOT broken. show that astarion was the same. not broken. not something to be "fixed". simply something - SOMEONE - that needed to be guided a little. simply someone that needed safety.

gale of waterdeep who would do anything for his blood to taste sweet for astarion again. so he wouldnt have to fear where his next meal was going to come from. so astarion would never have to sink his teeth into a beast - let alone a sewer rat - ever again. never again would he let him have to hunt criminals in the night through the streets Alone. EVER AGAIN!!!

gale of waterdeep who would give up sleep to be by astarion's side as much as he could (since hes human and astarion is an elf). i just. he would do anything for him. Truly Anything.

gale of waterdeep who would wait weeks, months, YEARS - CENTURIES. if that's how much time it took for astarion to say i love you back. gale would say it 300 times a day and not once would it ring with the exigency of needing him to say it back.

gale....

[oceanwithouthermoon]

i dont know how to articulate this correctly but... sometimes i think about how saiki is so mentally disconnected and isolated from other people, and his powers make it feel impossible to understand them, esp because he hasnt had any faith in humanity since he was a kid (hes also so autistic but shh he probably doesnt know yet)

and so he truly doesnt understand the nuances and complexity of love+friendship+relationships etc... so imagine how confused he could get during times where his relationships get deeper/more complicated

examples ?? (warning for very brief sa+abuse+suicidal thoughts mention in the second one) -

accidentally making one of his friends mad and hearing their thoughts, which are purely from frustration and anger in the moment, about hating and not wanting to be around him.. makes him think they genuinely dont want to be as friend at all anymore, so ONE argument makes him think hes ruined his friendship with them forever and he doesnt think to just apologize, immediately shutting down and just "going away" instead because he thinks thats actually what they want

not understanding why people feel sympathy for him when he talks about tragic things in/about his life, especially when he even dulls it down as to not reveal his powers, (ie: his brother literally trying to murder, humiliate, and borderline sa him OR having one or multiple bullying incidents in elementary school that caused him to lose all his friends and change schools OR saying that the only reason he decidedly hasnt offed himself yet is cuz itd make his mom sad) and mentioning those things a little too casually, then thinking people are trying to pity him and telling the people who are just trying to help to shut the fuck up ƪ(˘⌣˘)ʃ

^a specific but not quite as angsty one, offhandedly mentioning once that he had a big crush on a guy from another class but he helped set them up with someone else even though it upset him, because he just wanted to see him happy and he never had a chance anyway (bro was def straight too) and his friends being like ...hey thats really sad im sorry you felt like that :(( and him being like ?? whats sad about that. hes happy, and its not like im completely devastated or anything. shut the fuck up.

teruhashi getting over her crush on him and no longer seeking him out as often, and he's immediately upset and confused because now he thinks that she ONLY cared about him when she thought she was going to get something more than friendship from it so he doesnt believe she ever saw him as a true friend..

(similar to the first one, slightly different situation) getting into an argument with one of the friends he sees every single day and still expecting them to at least BE there the next day, and when they arent because theyre avoiding him, his first thought isnt "i should seek them out and apologize" its "wow it was so easy for them to just let go of me, i clearly have formed a dependency and feel like i need them more than they need me. especially now that i know they dont feel the same, i should sever that attachment."

SO YEAH anyway, he genuinely does not believe that he has anyone he can trust enough to actually talk through this stuff with+doesn't even think its that bad so he just sits and tries to feel numb at the bottom of the ocean or on the moon haha what a guy...

[roseworth]

How do you feel about Slade Wilson?

I personally could never get myself to like him strictly for what he did for Tera like I can excuse a lot of things but what he did to her is not one of them. I don’t know, I can never get myself to like him. Am I missing out?

I don’t know much about him beyond his titans cameos so is there an extra layer to his character that makes him likable?

Or is he just unlikable? How do you feel about him and him as a parent?

i think slade can be such a compelling character when hes written well. but the problem is that he is rarely written well

like. he's interesting to me BECAUSE he's such a terrible person and i hate him so much. he's a pedophile and an abuser and just an unapologetically horrible person and i LOVE it when writers don't ignore that. one of the reasons i love deathstroke 2016 is because priest doesnt pretend that slade is a good guy deep down, he is written like an asshole and does awful things throughout the entire book. because hes an asshole.

i dont like it when he works With the titans because. they should hate his ass!!! ESPECIALLY for what he did to terra. but he can be so good as a titans villain because hes a loser predator that routinely gets his ass kicked by teenagers that hate him on a personal level.

another reason hes interesting to me is because he genuinely DOES love the people in his life (derogatory). i hate it when people act like he hates his children because thats not true at all!! unfortunately he loves them so much but his version of love is abusing them and/or pushing them away. hes a terrible father and a terrible person but that doesnt mean he doesnt love his family. its just that his love is toxic and awful and him loving someone is always a bad thing

one (of many) thing that i hated about the movie deathstroke knights & dragons is that they tried to make him a good person. they treated it like his children were being irrational for hating him, his mercenary work was actually "noble" (he gave up a job because it came from a dictator; he would not fucking do that), and they even treated him cheating on adeline as "aw poor slade was so upset and he cheated on his wife because he was sad 🥺" and thats just. so boring to me. the reason he can be an interesting character is because hes such an awful person who does terrible things because hes selfish and doesnt care about other people, and even when he does care about other people hes doing it in a way that doesnt hurt him

thats also one of the reasons i HATED that one arc with respawn. i forget the name of it but it was the one crossover with batman & robin & deathstroke inc (<- this is driving me crazy what the fuck was it called.... it was the one where ra's died.... do u know what im talking about (EDIT: its Shadow War!! i forgor)) because suddenly slade was acting like he was a good father and that he loved his children and was acting Better than batman. which is so fucking stupid because hes a shithead and he knows it! but for some reason slade was like "im embracing my son i love being a family man ☺️ you wouldnt know what thats like would you batman ☺️" like since when do YOU know what thats like. at the very least he shouldve been pushing respawn away that entire time and it pisses me off that he was treated like the good guy in that story. and thats not even mentioning how bad rose's reaction pissed me off in this & dark crisis. williamson i am begging you to learn literally anything about the characters you write.

but going back to deathstroke 2016. that one is sooo good because christopher priest completely understands that slade is the worst. what i love about it is that he actually has "pure" motivations for a lot of the things he does (ie hiring a hitman on rose because he wants to spend time with her, stealing wallace's speedforce powers because he wants to save grant, etc) but it is very clear in the story that his motivations dont matter because hes doing a shitty thing! it doesnt matter that his intentions were good because he was hurting people on purpose!!!! he can try to be "good" all he wants but he is basically incapable of being good without hurting and/or manipulating someone. which is why hes such a compelling character to me. hes a shitty person with relatively good intentions. cool motive, still murder.

thats ALSO why i really like seeing him as a father (derogatory). because the shitty things he does are once again always well-intended but he fucks up his kids BAD. like just looking at his relationship with rose pre52, he pushes her away when he first meets her because hes afraid she'll be in danger if he brings her into his life. then he decides he DOES want her in his life so he hires someone to murder the people looking after her but lets her get her revenge on the person that killed her family. then he drugs her because hes a fucked up person that wants to keep her with him because shes the only family he has left (grant, adeline, wintergreen, and joey are all more or less dead at this point), then later after she leaves he fights her & joey (who is alive again) because he wants them to see that the titans to be a better family to them than he could be, THEN he fights them again because he wants them back in his life. its a back and forth of "i have to push them away to keep them safe" and "i have to go to extreme measures to keep them in my life"

hes a shitty father but hes a shitty father BECAUSE he loves his family. and he fucks them up because he doesnt know how to show them he loves them so he just makes it worse on purpose. he doesnt think that he can get any better so he pushes them away OR manipulates them and forces them to be close to him.

anyways. all this to say i find him interesting as a character BECAUSE he's unlikable and i dont trust anyone that actually likes him. if he was real i would throw rocks at him in the street because hes a piece of shit. but because hes not real i can enjoy his books as long as they dont shy away from the fact that hes a piece of shit

[emptymasks]

so.. i sure feel like i invested a lot into a show just for them to not care in the end. and this isn't a 'wah they killed of my fave character so show bad'.

the pacing felt weird, right? i wonder if they wanted 10 episodes but the network only gave them 8? or maybe they just didn't know how to end the show. maybe they're scared they won't get a season 3 and so rushed the end of season 2?

but to build up izzy, to have him talk about belonging to something... only to have him die without anyone telling him they love him. yeah ed said they're family but like. the whole thing felt so sudden, from him being the one with richard to getting shot to dying and then to suddenly haha the silly guitar music is playing guys its funny joke time. like. ed was upset as izzy was dying but then it seemed at his burial that no one really cared. it would have been more impactful if his death had been the final scene of the season.

but wouldn't it have been much better to show izzy finding a family? to have him captain the revenge? to contrast with season 1 and how the crew hated him when he was in charge. to end season 2, end the show, with him captaining the crew and having their respect and their love?

because it really didn't feel like he died for the crew, for his family. because he push someone else out of the way to save them he just got outsmarted by richard (since when is izzy that stupid or not strong enough to hold onto a man?) and got shot. like idk you could have had him die protecting ed or stede or the crew. how on earth could izzy not hold onto a man who's physically weaker than him and how the hell did he let someone else grab his fucking gun. or wait im re-watching it looks like richard just.. grabbed a gun out of his own coat.. i.. did no one search this man and take his weapons off him.. what the fuck.. no im sorry there's no excuse that doesn't make sense for no one to have taken his weapons away that just seems like bad writing.

if you were going to kill him off he deserved a better death.

but he deserved a better ending than this. what's the point of him having this arc of finally caring about people if he dies and it seems no one really cared other than ed and fang?

omg i just read as i'm writing this that jenkins does have a plan for a season 3. okay so now it's only acceptable if con wanted to leave the show so they had to kill off izzy but they still should have done it better. have him fending off the english so the crew can escape. have him taking a bullet for ed. something that means something. omg.

and ed and stede... i don't feel like they're ready for this yet. the only way they should be living together is the end of the show. not the end of a season. they literally only just got back together they need time to grow together.

you really said its a show about people finding love and happiness and then killed off the queer disabled character who got to die while telling his abuser that he loved him. the ending feels like the show saying 'actually not everyone deserved love, if you were an izzy fan you were right to get hate' like. he deserved to be loved by the crew, to be told that they cared. but he didn't get that.

also um?? the crew dont love ed. he literally only just finished torturing them, some of them have ptsd and trauma from what he did to them, and even if they want to forgive him they certainly do not love him yet. they cared much more about you izzy than they did about ed.

and then to have him shot in the left side, the place that ed showed in season 1 was a 'safe place' to get injured i. what.

where the fuck was roach? just watching? not trying to help? does he either not care or not think it's worth trying to save him??

IM SORRY BUTTONS CAN TRANSFORM INTO A BIRD, AUNTIE CAN SURVIVE AN EXPLOSION, JACKIE AND SWEDE ARE IMMUNE TO POISON, BUT IZZY GETTING SHOT IN HIS LEFT SIDE UH OH THAT'S DEATH SORRY.

i love the crew, i love zheng. i like stede and ed's romance but they're never the reason i watched the show. but i found izzy's arc the most meaningful to me. and i. i really don't think i'm going to watch a season 3 if there is one. not just because izzy's not there, but that last episode just felt like they don't care or don't know how to write anymore in a way that i enjoy at least.

to see someone like izzy (who's backstory i thought we would get, at least who the ring belongs too that he wears around his neck but no okay) he disliked because he has to be, he doesn't know how to be soft and be loved or how to love others. to show that a person who has been hurt so much and built themself so hard and buried their real self so far below.. to see that person be able to find themself again, to love others, to let themself be loved, to others see who they are. that meant so much.

so much for this being a happy queer show. for a lot of people he felt like this representation of an older queer man who's just coming out of the closet, exploring himself, there's not another character like that. the disability representation with him this season i've seen has meant a lot of people. his arc isn't the same as any others and a lot of people have found something very personal to connect to in that and i think they have a right to be upset.

to say it makes sense for him to be killed off for the narrative because ed needed to let him go... sounds cruel? izzy is a person, he's not a narrative object to make ed feel better about himself. to have ed abuse izzy, physically abuse him, and then izzy's arc ending with him apologising as if it was his fault (yes he encouraged blackbeard, but please let's not victim blame, let's take male victims of abuse seriously) and saying he still loved ed i just..

to say it makes sense narratively for him to get killed off for other reasons i don't fully disagree, but i think it was too soon, and i think at least it should have been in a way that made sense like him protecting the crew, not allowing richard to STILL HAVE HIS GUN ON HIM DID NO ONE CONFISCATE HIS WEAPONS?? or did he take izzy's gun in which case HOW how would izzy allow richard to take his gun. he's smart and a capable fighter what is this.

i saw someone else say izzy's death had no meaning and no consequence. and they're right. the crew moved on straight away and forgot about him (apart from fang, shout out to fang), and seemed like they didn't care. they aren't seeking revenge. they aren't angry. so it's for.. ed and stede to get together? izzy deserves more than that. and they could have still gotten together anyway... if it's for ed to move on then fuck that. an abuser doesn't get to move on from the abuse he caused because his victim fucking died.

i'd been looking forward to this episode all week after i really terrible week and well. should have known nothing this week was going to plan.

[tbgkaru-woh]

hi hi hi!!! since last time u asked for hcs or ideas, and i couldn't come up with any in the moment, I AM HERE TO SHARE (mine) AND ASK UR OPINIONS ON XIANXUAN (WWX X JZX) NOW... 😩

dont even get me started, personally for me, its HARD TO NOT ship two men who have punched each other for at least once in their life. AND WHEN THEY BOTH ACTUALLY HV CONSIDERATION FOR EO DEEP DOWN LIKE from hating each other's guts to punching each other's face to competing to an extent (over one girl literally) to actually having no hard feelings for each other to having consideration deep down for each other to believing in each other (to love the girl genuinely) to wwx accidentally and unintentionally killing jzx to mourning over his death and blaming himself for all of it to living again and taking care of his child...😩 i...ok half of the grief came bcs of shijie but ONE CAN IMAGINE AAAAH.

im sorry for making this long, help. (honestly ure the first ever acc i have found shipping them in one of ur arts so i HAVE to rant omg)

i love their dynamic sm, somehow i want wwx to top jzx at any fucking cost. WHY ?! because he wanna prove he's better and better and BETTER than this fucking peacock and he wanna crush his attitude so bad like...and jzx just tryna keep up with him and this fucker is back with new tricks to put him where he belongs. then ends up putting him under himself. oMG. help. im crazy. bye.

SJSHSKSK MY GOD. looks like im gonna go on a brainrot.

They were some of the most obvious to me too only to find no one talking about them, I guess the whole WangXian tunnel-vision and Jin Zixuan not having a fandom will do that to a dynamic.

I just hoped in canon they'd have...more. I wanted to see their arc, I wanted them to fight side by side, wanted to see Zixuan defend Wei Wuxian in front of the gossipy pricks and his word mattering to them, wanted to see Wei Wuxian punch someone for Jin Zixuan, instead of punching him for Yanli.

Straight Zixuan is also extremely boring to me and him secretly crushing on the brothers, maybe even popping a boner while wwx gets REAL CLOSE to him during a fight and needing to leave RIGHT NOW... He'll be a good bridge between the two, he's quiet, arrogant and loyal to duty as Jiang Cheng is, but wwx is what he wished he could be like in certain aspects, not to say that with their constant teasing and play-fights, some truths will come out sooner rather than later.

And when it comes to smut I love to imagine that something that starts as a hate fuck with neither backing down but both their inexperience starts showing but unlike jzx who's more honestly embarrassed about it, wwx has this fake confidence and "need-to-take-cate-of" impulse that turn it into something a bit clumsy but respectful and with a genuine goal of the other enjoying it. Maybe wwx can keep it as their secret,as jzx parades himself around like the straight guy people think he is afterwards.

[jazzyspams]

Scared

pairing: aemond × fem!reader (afab, use of she/her)

rating: explicit. (18+. mdni.)

summary: “we’ll see who gets the last laugh princess.” he muttered low and dark. the feeling of his large hand gripping the back of your neck tight and holding you close made you ache. you ached for him, for his touch, his smell, everything. you hated him and he hated you which made you ache for him all the more

requested: yes

warnings: public sex, orgasm denial, overuse of the word slut, edging, degradation kink, jealousy, mentions of previous sexual activity, creampie, overstimulation, begging, multiple orgasms, dirty talk, sex with a tad bit of feelings, hair pulling, dom! aemond, rough sex

notes: i literally wrote this so fucking fast. i honestly wasn’t expecting for many people to read the last story but holy fuck you guys are sweet, it may not be a lot of you but u really do appreciate you guys. this is literally my motivation!! and also requests are opennnnn!!! love you all!!! and i didn’t reread lmfaoo im sorry i got lazy

part one

・★・

days had passed since your little encounter with aemond and fuck you regretted it

not really but really.

all the days that had passed you’d been avoiding him, pretending to be sick so you wouldn’t have to come out of your room for breakfast or supper

and even when you would see him for a short time, preparing to ride his dragon or even simply seeing him walking in the halls with the queen he would just walk right past you as if nothing had happened. you wanted to think maybe he just didn’t see you but he definitely did because you saw the quick and simple glances he gave you when he saw u in the halls

you weren’t expecting him to be at your feet begging you to stop avoiding him, but it was if he hadn’t even known of your absence or even cared and it made you feel somewhat sad

for gods sake he was in you, multiple times. you’d at least expected for there to be some sort of difference in the weird relationship between you both but there wasn’t.

you honestly didn’t know how to feel about this whole situation, angry or ashamed?

as you sat on your bed alone with your thoughts you heard a low knock and you looked up as your door opened, your knightsgaurd let down a low bow

“prince lucerys velaryon and prince jacaerys velaryon” he announced, moving to the side to allow jace and luke to walk in. as they walked in your knightsgaurd shut the door

luke slightly shouted your name as he walked towards you, opening his arms; going in for a hug. jace walking will him, rolling his eyes, disappointed at his brother’s manners

you smiled at your unexpected guests. happy that they came and surprised that they even thought of you, not really surprised but you really didn’t expect it

as luke hugged you tight jace quickly pointed out about how you’re “sick” and luke jumped up as his brother’s words and observed your face

“you quite honestly dont look sick at all” jace questioned with an eyebrow raise

luke nodded, agreeing to his brother’s word “yeah in fact you’re kind of glowing” luke added with the same curious look as his brother

you let out a awkward laugh knowing where that “glowing” look comes from.

“so… what brings you two here” you quickly said attempting to change the subject

“we just wanted to check up on you, its been days since we’ve seen you and everyone has been wondering where you’ve been”

you smiled at his warming words, you just couldn’t be in the same room with him for too long. it would be too embarrassing and awkward. and you had a bad habit of displaying your emotions on your face, thats what everyone tells you (mostly your father) which is not that surprising because you get it from him

“i know, i just-“ you stopped yourself letting out a deep breath, wanting to tell them what had happened or literally anybody. you needed to get this off your chest, you needed some advice but you couldn’t tell anyone. you had to deal with it by yourself because only the gods know what will happen if your secret is exposed

you cleared your throat, swallowing the words you so desperately needed to release “i haven’t been feeling all that well” you said with a low empty smile

luke made the most disbelieving face you had ever seen. it was as if he could see right through your lies. “right… well you look fine now, i think its time you got out of your chambers and come to supper tonight!” he yelped

you groaned “lukee,” you dramatically dragged his name “im still not feeling all that well”

he nodded at your words, you smiled thinking he finally let it go as him and jace walked towards the door

but luke turned around right before he opened the door “ill just bring the maester so we can see if you’re still sick” he said with a grin

no! you shouted quickly. a little too quickly.

you sighed “ill be at supper tonight”

lukes grin grew bigger, knowing he won “perfect!” he smiled, showing all his teeth. you rolled your eyes. is this what it is like to have a little brother?

~

you had just left the a small council meeting, you weren’t apart of the small council but they had discussed your touring and wanted you to be there. nothing had changed really they just discussed all the princes that you would meet, which quite honestly were a lot. but you were prepared thanks to rose

the queen said she was happy you were feeling better and said she was glad that you would be returning to the family supper’s and of course the whole council agreed with the queen

after the meeting the queen directed ser criston to escort you back to your chambers to prepare for supper

after a few moments in silence walking, ser criston finally spoke. “how are you feeling” he asked turning to you, as you both continued to walk

you smiled. he was the first person to ask you this in days.

“thank you for asking, i feel better but i would truly kill to get out of here. ive been in here for days, i want to explore the city, see the people and drink fresh wine. i just want a breath in fresh air” you let out. you thought you sounded like a crazy woman but ser criston just smiled at you

he let out a low laugh “i understand what you mean, it was like that for me when i first arrived here.”

“well how do i fix that desperate feeling” you asked turning to look at him as you made a complete stop

he looked around making sure no one was close enough to hear what he was about to say. “i got out. i snuck into the city and did what i wanted just for the night. and it was a night ill never forget for the rest of my days” he said with a low whisper

oh how heavenly that sounds. after days of just being in your chambers alone with your thoughts you knew this was the release you needed.

“would you ever consider taking me?” you slightly whispered

he shook his head “and risk the chance of getting the new princess caught escaping or even worse, getting hurt?”

you sucked your teeth “ser criston please, we wont get caught and you’ll be there protecting me”

“absolutely not” he whispered turning away, continuing to walk. you quickly followed behind him and grabbed his arm

“please ser criston, only just one time. im new to this whole thing and its been very hard” the desperation in your throat started to rise

he groaned, “alright but just once” he said putting up his index finger

you grabbed his face and slightly shook him as you said “thank ser criston! truly thank you! you are too good for me”

he smiled as you let go of his face, continuing to walk “oh and we need to stop by godswood, i need to get a couple of fresh flowers from there for my room”

the only flowers you have ever kept in your room were snapdragons, you especially took the ones from godswood because you knew how much aemond cared for them because they were his mothers but you honestly didn’t care if they were the queens i mean for gods sake she was the queen. she could get dozens of flowers

the queen has everything. so whats a couple of flowers you thought as you walked into godswood. you looked around, hoping aemond would be here but he wasn’t

a part of you wanted him to be here so he could watch you pick these flowers and realize you dont care about what he says

you walked behind the heart tree and grabbed a couple of flowers, not too many but just enough to put in a little jar in your room.

you kept your eyes on the beautiful pink flowers in your hand as you walked down the pathway heading towards the entrance where ser criston stood, waiting for you

you played with your mother’s necklace that dangled around your neck, trying to feel some sort of comfort and it worked until you hear ser criston yell, “my prince!” you quickly looked up and seen aemond, standing in front of ser criston, his large framing slightly towering over him

he stood tall and confident with his hands behind his back. you hated him but holy gods he was handsome. his eyes quickly snapped at you as you continued down the pathway

“and what do you think you’re doing with those” aemond asked, turning his eyes to the flowers in your hand

you looked around sarcastically trying to figure out who he was talking to, oh so he can speak when you have some stupid flowers in his hand but god forbid him even look at you after fucking you

“oh im sorry now you can speak?” you said with and unbelievable scoff

he laughed, shaking his head “i wont play these games with you. answer my question.” he demanded

oh, fuck him. you’re the one playing games when he can barely even fucking look at you? he wants to see you play games? okay.

“you still have one eye. its pretty obvious what i am doing” you turned your head slightly with a smirk. if he wants a game, he’ll get one

ser criston turned to you, eyes widened at your words. looking at you like you’ve just crossed the line

aemonds jaw clenched tight. “ser criston take your leave” he demanded as his voice turned dark. shivers roll down your spine; oh fuck. arousal hitting you slow at the darkness in his voice

you saw ser criston nod from the corner of your eye. “ser criston you will do no such thing” you quickly shouted, as you swallow, trying to make the arousal in your core go away as you kept your gaze on aemond

aemond razed his eyebrow as if your words meant anything “ser criston may i remind you who you serve?” he said, turning his gaze to ser criston, almost giving him a death stare

ser criston just sighed as if he knew something bad was going to happen, he let down a low bow to both of you before he look his leave

aemonds gaze stayed locked in with yours until ser cristons foot steps were gone

its silent for a little before he speaks

“dont you ever fucking disrespect me like that again” he snapped

you narrow your eyes “oh please you’re just mad i did it in front of ser criston” you snap back.

his eyebrows raise as if he just realized something “and you princess?” he laughs in a mocking manner

you raise your eyebrow, confused at his words

“dont act as if your not mad that i haven’t said not one word to you since that night, i may have one eye but fuck its clear as day how desperate you are for my attention,”

you feel your anger coming to the surface and tears of anger and somewhat embarrassment in your eyes (mostly anger) because to some degree he was right.

“taking these flowers? refusing to show up to any family gatherings for days? i dont know if you haven’t noticed but i dont fucking care about you princess” he finished, almost growling “and just because you cant stop thinking about the way i fucked you dumb doesn’t mean i owe you anything. not a dance, not wave, not even two fucking words.”

you stepped back at his words. your face burns. fuck him if he thinks you give two shits about him either. “i dont fucking care about you either and you’re far beyond delusional if you think for one moment i do”

“right” he laughs sarcastically

“i haven’t thought of it once. and i’d rather let ser criston fuck me in front of the whole red keep before i ever think of you” you whisper with a similar evil smirk he once gave you

he stepped closer to you, tilting his head down to stare directly in your eyes “and what makes you think he would want to fuck a slut like you”

his words sent shivers down your spine, chilling you. you could feel you nipples hardening under the thick dress you wore and you panties getting wet. “slut” the word replaying in your head

he smirked noticing what that did to you, seeing your body stiffen and tense up. you couldn’t let him think he won. you just couldn’t

you looked up at him “maybe the fact that he’s taking me out tonight and maybe ill let him fuck me in a brothel and maybe, just maybe after he’ll be a man and actually acknowledge it,”

this time his body stiffened at yours words and oh it felt good, seeing him speechless. you definitely couldn’t stop now

you placed your hand on his chest and stood up on your toes as you whispered in his ear “the fact that you cant even hold eye contact with me for five seconds or even speak two words is pathetic.”

you waited for him to say something literally anything but he didn’t. you just laughed. as you attempted to walk past him he grabbed you by the back of your neck pulling you in close, making you drop the flowers that were surprising still in your hand

your heart was beating fast at the reaction you weren’t expecting. you’d thought you had won but you were obviously wrong

“we’ll see who gets the last laugh princess.” he muttered low and dark. the feeling of his large hand gripping the back of your neck tight and holding you close made you ache. you ached for him, for his touch, his smell, everything. you hated him and he hated you which made you ache for him all the more

aemond knew what he was doing, even tho you haven’t known him for long he knew how to push your buttons in ways no other had but he also knew how to please you like no other.

this game you and aemond played was intoxicating. and fuck you lived for it

aemond released you from grip, turning away and leaving you standing there. speechless.

~

“ugh! i’ve been patiently waiting for this moment for ever!” rose yelps as she lays out three dresses on display for you to pick which one to wear to supper

you didn’t pay any attention to the designs of the dresses, just the colors. you turned your head to rose and looked at her like she was a crazy woman

green, black, and blue are the colors of each dress. green representing the queens side of the family and black representing your step mother’s, (the soon to be queen/ heir to the iron throne)

“rose have you lost your mind” you asked her, genuinely concerned. you might have been new to this whole royalty thing but you sure ass hell weren’t stupid. picking between the colors black or green was like picking which side you were on and you refused to do that.

“whatt?” she shrugged her shoulders innocently. you rolled your eye’s pointing your finger to the blue dress

she signed dramatically “yea…good choice, its really lightweight and easy to pull off and slip on”

“if you honestly think ill pick between those colors you have truly gone mad” you laughed as rose slipped you in the dress. rose walked towards you bedside table and looked in your jewelry box

you looked down at the dress and smiled at its simplicity. simple but beautiful nonetheless. the dress hung at your shoulders and had gold outlining

“hey…, where’s your mom’s necklace” rose yelled out. your hands flew to your neck but nothing was there, “are you sure it isn’t-“ you stopped yourself realizing you never put it in your jewelry box. the last time u remember having it at godswood

“fuck!” you stomped, picking up your dress and quickly running out of your chamber

fuck. fuck. fuck. you thought as you stormed towards godswood, you didn’t want to go back to godswood. ever. all of the two times youd been there it had been very bad and traumatizing experiences. quite literally.

you prayed to the seven gods that you would easily find your necklace and peacefully go to supper and go out to the city with ser criston and live happily ever after but of course the seven gods hated you and had to make your life difficult

you entered godswood and retraced your steps. first looking at the doorway where you stood with aemond and then looking up the pathway. you look behind the heart tree in the rows of snapdragons. you sigh realizing that you fucking lost your mothers necklace

you were so fucking busy playing a stupid back and forth game with aemond that you lost the one thing you needed most, the one thing you had left of your mother. you wanted to blame aemond so badly but it was you, you shouldn’t allow him to get under your skin the way he does

“have you come back for more?” you heard a voice you knew all too well call out from behind you. speaking of the literal devil

you turned around and seen him smirking as her leaned against the back of the tree. he wasn’t smirking how he usually does he was kind of smiling, like a bad child who had just done something they weren’t supposed to. you rolled your eyes but of course he’d think you came here for him; and why the hell is he always here

you furrowed your eyebrows. oh how u wanted to wipe that smirk of his face. forget him. you need to find the necklace you thought as you turned back around, looking in the same row of flowers but something hit you. you were sure you had the necklace right before aemond had grabbed you

you spun around quickly. a little too quick, feeling a bit dizzy. “you have it dont you” you asked as you slightly raised your voice

his smile growing “i have no idea what you speak of” his voice low and deep as his words came out smoothly

you walked towards him. you didn’t want to play these games anymore, you just wanted to get your necklace and go. but he just had to make that impossible. now that you stood in front of him in the dim moonlight, his features started to shine.

his hairstyle was different, still in it’s beautiful platinum white color but it was down; all of his hair down it middle part, it was slightly messy as if he’d been practicing. you remembered how he looked after practicing because that was the first time you met him and the sight was implanted in your mind forever

his scar that split his eyebrow and stopped at his cheekbone stood out mostly and shined the brightest in the moonlight. his strong and sharp jawline made him look so much more intimidating than he needed to be.

your took a deep breath, deciding to put your pride to the side “aemond…please just give it to me” you almost whined

you noticed your words did something to him as he bit his lower lip

there’s a tension that seems to always be lingering in the air whenever you two get around eachother, and it doesn’t get better as the seconds go by

you looked up at him, making sure the innocence in your eyes shined bright as you inched closer to him. you were so close to him now. the memories of what happened the last time you got this close flooding your mind. picturing how he took you in so many ways that night. a part of you wanting it again

your hands fell on his chest and you kept your eyes on him. as you looked at him you recognized the look he gave you. he wanted this; he wanted you. you wanted to touch his scar, outline it and tell him the scar was was beautiful and so was he but something stopped you.

you knew everyone wanted you to stay away from him but that just made you gravitate towards him more. he was hurt and misunderstood and you knew those two feelings all too well. so to some degree you understood him.

your gaze following your hands as you trail your hands down his chest, nice and slow until you reached his member. you only touched it a little bit but you would feel him hardening at your touch

you stop yourself, realizing what you’re doing and remembering the real reason why you came here. you open your mouth to apologize but nothing comes out. all you can do is turn around and suddenly aemonds large hand grips the back of your neck. he manhandles you and doesn’t feel bad about it one bit, ignoring the gasp that escapes your mouth as he shoves you against the tree

his voice, angry and aroused, “do you think you can come here and tease me, and then try to leave?” he questioned you

“aemond-“

“shut up. you don’t deserve to speak, the way you’ve been disrespecting me all day,” his voice demanding and angry. your stomach drops, the tug you feel below your stomach is heavy, causing your panties to dampen. him being angry shouldn’t turn you on the way it does.

aemonds free hand bunches up your thin, lightweight dress. you can feel his fingers trailing up your thigh as he pulls it over your ass. you tremble at his touch, his fingers cold and rough

“aemond someone can catch us” you breathe out and then gasp, you talking earns you a slap from behind. not stinging but hurting from the surprise of it

“did i tell you to speak?” he growls as he outlines the bottom of your panties, slipping a finger in the tight stretchy fabric; moving his fingertip along your ass. “you’d love it if someone caught us, risking the chance of someone knowing your pussy belongs to me. you’d love that. wouldn’t you?”

you whine, nodding your head slowly

“slut” he mumbles as he removes his finger from your ass quick , letting the fabric slap against your ass hard. he hooks his fingers at the top of your panties. yanking them down; letting them fall to your knees. you moan as the cool air hits your wet aching cunt

you’re breathing hard. you want to beg him for his touch but you know he’ll just spank you for just talking. you hated him for this, teasing you; out in the open. on full display, but only for aemonds touch.

he uses both of his hands to spread your asscheeks, admiring your went and slippery cunt. “me talking to you all dirty gets you this wet?” he asks in a mocking voice. you nod, not daring to speak. a dark laugh leaves his throat.

aemond brings his hand around to the front of your pussy and he leans in close. you can feel the warmth of his hard clothed cock against your back. he circle’s your clit slowly with his index and middle finger, using all the self control he had in his body from throwing you on the ground and fucking you relentlessly with no remorse. he wanted to show you a lesson for disrespecting him today; but he knew in order to do that he had to take his time, making you wait and beg

“does ser criston get you this wet?” he hissed, the speed of his fingers picking up. you shake your head quickly, hoping it will satisfy him. aemonds palm falls heavily against your ass and you jerk forward. “use your fucking words” his voice growing more hungry.

“f-fuck, no, he doesn’t” you barely get out as you dig you nails into the rough tree. the pleasure building in your core is hot and heavy. “you only get this wet for me, right?”

“j-just for you, o-only you aemond.” you almost scream as his thick long fingers enter you fast, your head shoots back on his shoulder; your neck now exposed, but not for long as aemond quickly noticed and sunk his face in your exposed neck, the feeling of his teeth grazing along the skin of your neck and the feeling of his rough fingers inside of you; almost sending you over the edge

you tried to muffle your moans but you couldn’t, the pleasure was unbearable; coming from different directions, you wanted everyone to know how good he made you feel in so many different ways. the slick, wet noise that came from between your legs filled the air.

you cant help the moan of his name that escapes your lips as he curls his fingers. the stretch of his thick fingers is nothing like the stretch of his cock but you’ll take whatever he gives, like a starved woman; and you were, starving for him. the tears of pleasure falling down your cheeks

you can feel yourself about to explode. youre clenching around him, almost reaching your high. he knows it and removes his fingers, removing his face from your neck; you almost drop at the empty feeling he leaves you with.

he grabs you by your cheeks hard, forcing your face to the side to look at him. his face is marked with anger. “did i say you could fucking cum?”. you shake your head “aemond please.” you beg; not knowing what it is you’re begging for

“shut the fuck up and get on your knees” he hissed. you comply, turning around and getting on your knees. you watch him remove the strings of his pants; your eyes glossy with sexual frustration. he pulls down his pants finally releasing his cock.

your tears drying slightly as you gulp, looking at his cock. fuck. did it get bigger? you could feel the somewhat dry dirt on your knees- the thin dress not helping much.

he stands tall before you. your mouth waters at the sight. he pumps it roughly, his tip a bright red color from arousal; the precum flowing lewdly. he places his thumb on your bottom lip, slipping it in your mouth, you don’t hesitate to suck on it; slowly moving your head back and forth. you could see the lust in eye as he watched you. he removed his thumb from your mouth and traced it along your lips.

“open” is the only word he mutters to make you open your mouth. the need to taste him, spurring you to lay your tongue out flat and wait patiently for him.

“whats pathetic,” he mocks your words from earlier, tapping your tongue with the weight of his length; the slapping sound, making you moan. he taps against you again “is watching you-“ he cuts himself off as he pushes a little bit of him in your mouth. “take whatever i give you, and beg for my cock” he groans as he stuffs the rest of his cock in your warm and tight throat

you gag immediately, his pace unforgiving as he fucks your throat rough. you try desperately to breathe out your nose, gagging as you feel him deep in your throat. another sweet groan leaving his mouth, biting his lip and nodding as he removes the hair from your face. you can feel your head hitting the back of the tree but your hair gives you some sort of protection from the rough bumpy surface. a few tears falling from your eyes as you choke, your lung’s gasping for air. he’s close. you can feel his veins moving to the top of his tip. you want him to explode in your mouth but he pulls away

you suck in the air your lungs so desperately needed with a strangled gasp, your saliva linking to his big cock is quickly broken as he lifts you up by your arms. your eyes hazy as you tried to catch your breath.

he snatched the dress off your body; finally exposing your full body, leaving the dress at you ankles. “since you love those flowers so much, im going to fuck you on them” he said as he unraveled the string of his shirt and nodded towards the flowers, signaling you to get on them. you stepped out of your dress and stood on top of the flowers; you sighed knowing the beautiful row of roses were going to be ruined. “ass up” he demanded as he finally freed himself from the shirt and his pants that stayed at his ankles. you did as he told you and bucked at the feeling of the cool air hitting your swollen pussy

he gets behind you, and you can feel the tension bubbling behind you. his hand falls hard against the skin of your ass, you whimper as you jerk forward “been disrespecting me all fucking day. say you’re sorry” he says sending another slap on your already abused ass, you let out a strangled yell

“g-gods im sorry” you let out as a strained whimper. “won’t do it again will you?” he said; the mockery in his voice rising. “n-no i swear it aemond” you almost cry

he gives no warning, no teasing, doesn’t say a word as he enters you, swiftly and hard. you scream. the quickness of him thrusting inside made you squeeze around him. he moaned and it was the most heavenly sound you had ever heard. “f-fuck, girl, you’re s-so fucking tight” he grunted

your mouth flew on you mouth as you felt him setting his pace. it took everything in you to refrain from screaming and moaning his name. you may have been behind the tree but you were still in a public place, all it took was for someone to walk up the pathway. you let out choked and muffled moans with every painful thrust, feeling his cock push against your g-spot with every thrust

he groans your name

his fingers digging deep in your ass, as he pounded in you. you couldn’t hold it anymore, his teasing from earlier making you near you edge faster than you had before. you moaned his name “may i please cum” you begged; so vulnerable and hopeless. “you love being my slut don’t you?” his fingers intertwining with your hair; twisting your hair into a ponytail and yanking you against him, making you slam against him, balls deep. you dont dare to hesitate “i love being your slut aemond” you babble as you slam into your orgasm, your fingers gripping the flowers under you, dirt under your nails but you didn’t care

you released your hands from the flowers trying to catch your breath. but he wasn’t done with you yet. he yanks you up by you hair; placing you in his lap. you hiss at the movement, realizing he was still inside of you.

weak with overstimulation “its too much, i don’t think i can take it” you cry. aemond grabs you by the side of your face, making you look at him “you can, we’ll go slow. just keep your eyes on me” he whispers, and it almost sounds sincere. you just nod; keeping your eyes on him

he moves your arms around his neck as he places his hand on your waist; you lean your neck back, resting it on his shoulder to keep your eyes on him. he pushes your waist down gently, you slowly start to grind against him. both of you still looking at eachother

hes so deep. you grasp his hair, as he slowly helps you pick up the pace as you ride him. he soon gets impatient- hands holding your hips as he soon starts to thrusting into you; you’re moaning at the overstimulation. you’re holding him tight as you feel him about to explode, you felt your second orgasm building in your core.

something different was in the air as you both looked at eachother, both could feel it. was is vulnerability? had you two finally put your hatred aside and decided to just enjoy this moment because you knew it wouldn’t last. you knew he’d just go back to ignoring you and he knew you’d go back to finding a husband

you didn’t know what you wanted with aemond but it surely wasn’t this. and you hated him for not helping you make up your mind.

“i hate you” you whisper in his ear, moaning lightly as he groans . tears of pleasure building in your eyes and you can feeling your legs start to shake. he pulls you close to him as his thrusts get slower and sloppier. “f-fuck. i know. i know you do baby.” he almost moans as you both chase your high together

still keeping you gazed locked and your sweaty bodies on eachother for just a moment before he pulls out of you- that empty feeling returning as he stood up and started putting on his clothes. all you could do is sit there; naked, sitting on top of his mother’s flowers.

“give me your hand” you heard him say; you snapped out of your daydreaming to see him standing in front of you fully clothed. you opened your hand and you could feel something cool fall into your hand. your necklace.

you could feel your face scrunching up as he lifted you up by your arms and helped you stand. your legs were weak and wobbly like jelly. he grabbed your dress and pulled it up over your body. he stares at you for a moment, before he mutters “have fun on your date with ser criston”, walking down the pathway and leaving.

you stand there looking at the ruined flowers and your ruined dress for a second, before you walk down the pathway; taking your leave as well.

・★・

tag list: @anehkael @goldyfishsstuff

[dsaf-confessions]

I have two of them

1: Steven x Peter isn't that bad honestly. Imo at least. It doesn't deserve the amount of hating it gets. 'But Steven ruined Peter's life by sending him to become a phone guy' the games go out of their way to show and even directly tell you that phone guys are slaved people who are brought back from the dead and forced to do as their programming says. Steven isn't an expert or anything he's just as slaved as the others were. And while he does say 'I hope u can forgive me for this' which kinda means that he knew it was bad? But honestly I still don't blame it on him fully. From my understanding phone guys are only capable of going 'against' (for lack of better word) their programming only if they have some humanity or memories when they were alive, which I dont think Steven does, in both dsaf1 & 3 hes fully convinced that he's Scott Cawthon and only remembers that he isnt after literally being forced to. 'they hate eachother' I've replayed all the dsaf games and I can't find anything confirming that. Steven obviously regrets what he did and wants to make it right to not just Peter, but everyone else as well. Peter and Steven don't interact much, but Peter hasn't said anything mean about Steven once. The only thing that implies this is Peter's line of Jack saving even those who don't deserve it. But honestly he never said it was about Steven. For all we know he could had been referring to Dave or hell even himself. 'Its boss x employee which would be toxic by realistic standards' ok I see your point but why compere realistic standards to fucking dsaf? You know what else would be incredible toxic by realistic standards too? Davesport. But the fandoms not ready for that talk.

Speaking of davesport

2: Davesport is hellaaaaaaa overrated. I get why people ship it. It has much potential. But honestly it's the only thing the fandom talks about and Im getting tired of it. Where's my Steven contact? Where's my Peter or Dee contact? Where's the phone guys, Henry, Jacktrap or hell even Davetrap contact? Where's the angst connect on the Kennedy siblings? The only endings this fandom talks about are like the Gnarly Endings even tho I think the good ending and pure evil endings in dsaf2 are much better better than the gnarly end. Contact of the legacy routes are almost non existent ESPECIALLY on the legacy route of 2 and when there's is. It's davesport angst. How about we make angst about how Jack literally kills his motherfucking sister that he literally died for in an even more curler dsaf3 legacy route. I also hate how much the fandom mischaracterizes it. No they aren't uwu gay boys, no they don't have a perfect relationship. Their relationship is fucking unhealthy, flawed and bittersweet. (No Im not saying davesport is a pr*ship don't accuse me of that, although it's an unhealthy relationship it's not an ab**ive one). Dave literally stalks Jack, he has cameras on his house for the real Fredbear's sake. Yes I know they're treated like jokes, yes I know that Jack doesn't seem to mind, yes I know that Dave & Jack ARE capable of being in a somewhat normal relationship, with Flipside Dave at least. But still that's not healthy. They are literally willing to kill eachother if they're opposite! Those are two dead courses that have been stripped almost completely out of all their humanity thanks to that pink fuck Henry. Obviously they won't be sweet and caring to eachother or anyone really. If you like Davesport at the very least actually protey it correctly.

This is coming from someone who doesn't even ship Steveter (that's what I'll call the ship) and loves Davesport btw

.

[trans-androgyne]

I'm so sick of this. Trans men could be fucking like "lets have a discussion about unsavory attitudes or actions within queer communities when it comes to gender" and a bunch of fucking people INCLUDING OTHER TRANS MASCS are like "wooooooow cant believe youre attacking TRANS WOMEN like that this is obviously bigotry. after all theyve been through?? I am going to assume this mild criticism is about trans women (which you never said it was at all even once) and THEN tell you that because transphobia exists any disagreement with a trans woman means you want her to be HARASSED. I can't believe you think harassment is okay. also even though trans women are poor victims (I am speaking on behalf of all trans women) who you arent allowed say anything in opposition to (I think trans women are defenseless and attack people based on the idea that any criticism is trying to ruin their lives) (don't you know its impossible for a trans woman to ever be treated with respect or have a good life ever and in fact they are all doomed to being treated horribly?) (this is me HELPING trans women by the way I'm an ALLY) and trans men are the problem and somehow even though we're all in the same community Poor Trans Women are so oppressed they would be RUINED by disagreements (I am speaking on behalf of every trans woman and I know not a single one wants to have an interesting discussion about oppression or gender) this is me being an ally btw I could never be transmisogynistic by talking like this. also somehow transphobes check what type of trans you are, if youre a trans woman they hate you and if youre a trans man they say "yay you're a man" and treat you wonderfully because if youre a man youre always treated well no matter what other types of oppression you might face I think of this as being progressive.

Sorry for the long rant(?) I have a lot of thoughts. In summary: some people see themselves as such trans woman defenders that they a hundred percent loop around to infantilising them by implying its too hurtful to have a conversation. I've seen this exact type of behaviour as a trans man when it comes to misgendering. someone slips up and instead of being like "oops I mean he" they go some equivalent of "oh my gosh im sooooo sorry i cant believe I did that to you you probably feel miserable have I ruined your day oh my goodness dont cry ill make it up to you I know you have now become an emotional wreck from the horrible thing I did to you im sorry im sorry im sorry I just need to make sure everybody can hear how HURT you are by one misgendering" this is an example of how "being an ally" loops around to calling you fragile and a literal baby. They make it worse even though theyre "on your side" by implying you cant handle anything and they have to "fix it" because you just would collapse immediately at something maybe affecting you.

On the one hand, I understand where a lot of this is coming from. Trans women do get harassment campaigns started against them for small issues. It’s best not to resolve real problems with specific transfems in a public forum. So many have described the feeling of transmisogynistic hypervisibility as a panopticon and that very much applies in these discussions.

But trans women also aren’t made of glass. And they aren’t immune from making mistakes and causing harm. Making posts that contradict some trans women’s understandings of transmasc oppression is not transmisogyny. Pointing out that something they said or did was hurtful or transphobic is not transmisogyny. People act like this is how you treat trans women with respect and it’s very much not. This is not being “normal” about trans women. They are human beings who yes need some extra care and protection but are also capable of talking things out instead of collapsing into dust at the first sign of criticism. I know not all trans women like being treated this way in the slightest. I hope we’ll be able to find ways in the community to still uplift their voices and mitigate harm done to them without putting them on a high pedestal or shielding them from all criticism and intracommunity discussion that does not go their way.

[rfdiscoursethrowaway]

alr fucker ill bite

im trying 2 understand the absolute fuckin brainrot that is terf ideology solely so i can explain to people who actually want to make an effort to not be bigoted not fall into your pipelines. i do this already. but i wanna be more thorough and get screenshots and examples for specific questions. ill do a lil back and forth, but you wont be convincing me that all trans women are pedos n rapists and that we need to detransition people en mass and that trans people are delusional. i have a series of questions, if you consider yourself a terf please try and actually answer them, in a way that actually explains your thought process and isnt just calling me slurs because thats most of the discourse on this site. -------

how do you mentally justify the contridiction in "male and female brains have no difference and women are just as capable as men" (true and real) and "men are fundimentally more violent/ women less violent" besides just blatently liking sexism so long as it hurts men and not women (blatently harmful and bigoted just with a #girlpower coat of paint)

if its a socialization issue, how does female seperatism nessisarily help that? shouldnt the goal then to not treat women as an other, and to not define people based on biological characteristics? while biological differences exist they dont affect your mental or phisical capabilities in anything (in regards to biological sex atleast). wouldnt it be more helpful to treat it as simply a medical thing? like a blood type or something? and treat genital preference as just the same as any other random aesthetic preference in partners like, idk, liking fat people or likeing brown hair what is it about gender based oppression that makes you think that its the men that are the problem and not the whole gender thing, because its men thinking that women are fundimentally different alien creatures because we literally define people by their genitals and constantly talk about how your genitals make you fundimentally different then the "opposite". an ACTUALLY HELPFUL soution should be talking about how like, yeah! some of us look different, but thats like? fine? we are people. who cares whats in that person pants. and if your answer is that thats unrealistic and will require hundreds of years of societal change (true) why is your approach to double down on men and women being fundimentally different and not to like? work? twards something objectively better and less discriminatory? most of what terfs are known for is bigotry and thats not some crazy coincidence, its because your sexism (though you love to label it otherwise) naturally leads to transphobia. its because the core of your ideology is bigotry. women shouldnt be discriminated against cuz you are? fucking people? with the exact same capabilities, you do not deserve more/less praise more/less accountablitity more/less agency. infact id argue that this bending over backwords to try and exclude people you deem as men is why radfems are so much more of a pushover to conservatives. your willingness to go on and on about how biological differences make you a fundimentally different person just so you can rant about how men are all ugly evil penis havers just lets you be suseptible to violent reactionary shit by conservatives. regardless of where you come from politically, this applies to BOTH of us, if you refuse to really think deeply and critically about why you hate the things you do and why you like the things you do, and instead operate on gut reactions and absorbing politics from people on tumblr SOMEONE from SOME IDEOLOGY is always trying to take advantage of that. and transphobia IS violent reactionary shit, most the time i see transphobia especially against trans women its based entirely on appearance, people jumping all over themselves to body shame her for not being enough of a woman, talking about how gross and disgusting she is for wearing a dress or for having a deeper voice. why is this body shaming ok so long as you deem someone a man? attatching morality to appearance is just a blatently bad idea and its frankly gross how little so many of you are willing to critique that.

-----

whats your explaination for the tonal dissonance between "i dont want trans people dead and im not violent" and painting trans women as "always being men with terrible intentions who cosplay as women to have an excuse to rape and assault people"

because while you may not directly say "i think all trans people should be murdered" and you do it in a roundabout way with "all trans people are rapists and all rapists should be murdered" that does still say "i think all trans people should be murdered", just with extra steps. and are you aware that this is the exact retoric used by colonizers to justify genocide and slavery? painting black people as "savages and rapists"? whats your justification for painting a large group of people as fundimentally evil and violent, and how nessasarily is it somehow different then the retoric used to oppress any other marginalized group? + if its a "but im right!" consider this is also what a rapist or an antisemite or a mysogenist would say, and why you are parroting the exact same thing. like do you genuinely actually think that having a boy brain, or more testosterone, or a penis, makes you a rapist and a pedofile? really? and again if you agree with me that its a socialization issue why! dont you! treat it that way!! if you mean one thing, SAY THAT! and FIGURE OUT WITCH ONE OF THOSE YOU BELIEVE. because you cant fuckin have it both ways! if you wanna say that we shouldnt be treating women as stupid vile little vagina having worms (real and true) then like, you cant ALSO be like oh i also think we should be treating men as stupid vile little penis having worms >:) hehe i am so progressive and counter culture ignore all the horrific damage that catagorizing people like that has had i think it will be funny when we do it with men you see.

-----

what is with this insistance that people define themselves based on whats in their pants, like if having a pussy is just having a pussy thats fuckin fine alr but if you start insisting that people make that their ENTIRE PERSONALITY and that if you have one you HAVVVEEEE to have only a specific subsection of names and you HAVEEEE to be called a woman and use she/her and shit

like girl it is just words, who gives a fuck, if a guy says hey i wanna change my name to this girl name cuz it sounds cool as fuck its like! yea! hell yeah brother! and if hes like actually i prefer more feminine words to refer to me :) its like! hell yeah sister! how does that hurt fuckin anyone. is using words so hard 4 u. and before you be like ooOOuuyhghhg IM NOT DEFINING PEOPLE BASED ON THEY ARE PUSSY how is catagorizing people based on their chromosomes / genitals / appearance (and lets be honest here. its mostly appearance but you use chromosomes and genitals so you can pretend theres some kind of science proving that youre right, there is no chromosome detector 3000 for real life) not flattening them? like genuinely how the fuck do you justify that. you have to go to a different bathroom you have to go to a different doctors office you have to go to a different sports team all because i assume that your chromosomes and your genitals make you eaither unsafe or violent or constantly in need of protection and fundimentally less capable. terfs love to constantly insist that gender is whatever and then constantly try to force people to define themselves by their biological sex? why is whats in MY pants any of your fucking buisness? unless im at a gynocology appointment you dont need to know shit. all of this girlsgirlsgirlsgirls stuff what if you dont wanna be called a fuckin girl? what if i find it weird that you profile people and assume things about them because of their body? if gender is whatever why do you HAVE to be a male or a female. why do i have to fucking put my biology out on display for people to assume things about me based on? because i KNOW you assume things based on peoples biological sex and i KNOW you think more or less of people based on their biological sex thats half the ideology! why do you think every trans women is a sexist mysogenist who woke up one day at 24 and decided she was gonna be a girllll and wear dresses so she could opress woemennn moreeeee, why do you assume all trans men were groomed and exploited and brainwashed into thinking that theyre boys because of mysogeny and not cuz sometimes? being called a dude feels good? having a dick feels good? having a flat chest feels good? using he him or whatever the fuck feels good??? rad fem shit is just, sexism repackadged, do you never see the similarities? do you never see the fine print? that the core ideology is the same? this is just mysogeny again! like women are always the victim and men are always the perpetraitor. is just women have fundimentally less agency and men more agency women do bad things because theyre dumb and men do bad things because they had a good reason to. is just women have fundimentally less agency and men more agency please explain how that ISNT just the same mysogenist veiwpoints with a hashtag girlboss coat of paint. and this isnt me projecting mysogenistic right wing ideas onto you, i wrote all this stuff while looking through "radfem101" "terf reference guide" "things TRA's need to get thru their heads" posts. theres a reason people get them confused, ive been told these exact same things time and time again by alt rights and conservatives and mysogenists. so witch are you? why do you agree on so much?

-----

how do you deal with the whole, not wanting womens genitals to be constantly policed and have that be all that defines them (true and real) and the very real fact that there is no chromosome detector 3000 and if you want to create "female only spaces" you realistically are eaither going to have to subject billions of women on a daily basis to sexual harrassment to see if they are "real women" or do it just based on appearance. witch is enevitibly going to cause a disproportionate ammount of hate and violence twards black, gnc, and intersex women for not being "women" enough. something that is already happening, because trying to give rigid requirements for what looks like a woman and what looks like a man is always going to impact these groups disproportionately, you know its gonna be based off of like a white skinny cis girl! and uh! not all women are that!

and assuming there is a chromosome dectector 3000 in the future, a) intersex people b) trans men exist, and while im sure you can argue day and night about how they arent real men and phallo dicks are just a mutilated skin tube or whatever half of what you guys talk about is how you feel unsafe being in the same bathroom as someone who "looks like a dude" and who has a penis. considering the strictness in needing 100% gender conformity in trans women im sure the exact same people wouldnt be comfortable with a trans guy eaither, if youd feel ok just so long as they had the right reading on the chromosome dectector 3000 then all this talk about trans women being violent cuz penis and body hair and testosterone is just bullshit. and sense terfs love to play hypotheticals with 100% cis dudes just telling people theyre girls so they can get through the female bathroom security (a thing that totally exists believe me guys) (and also yeah telling a police officer that youre "just a trans girl" would totally actually help you in a legal case dont google trans panic defence shhhhhh its ok its ok, statistics you dont read from "xxvaginawomxngirlfucker" arent real its ok,,) couldnt a cis dude just lieeee about being a trans man? whos saying nobody can lie about my chromosome detector 3000 score! are you gonna put a bouncer in the female bathroom security gates? and like, where do trans people even pee then. we just rename the mens bathroom to the trannies and mysogenists room? the biologically more violent room? yeah lets shove a bunch of little intersex girls into the violent mysogenists room, she had body hair and a harsher jawline and that scared me so im lumping her into the room with all the people i think are pedos and rapists, she will feel totally ok about this and this wont effect her perception of herself, this wont enforce gender roles and make women having a complex about being feminine enough worse. women can be anything! except anything i think looks like a guy. so women can be feminine and nothing else :) but women can be anything i put in this super limiting box! i genuinely cannot imagine a world where this doesnt dramatically worsten sexual phisical and emotional violence against literally everyone.

and to say again. im not looking for quirky rebloggable snapbacks to each of my points i want you 2 put an equal ammount of effort as i did scrolling terflandia and writing all this up. so dont just call me a delusional tr-nny i want you to give me like. atleast a little substance here. something to chew and bite and pick apart

[cicad4s]

toma headcanons because im crazy (cw for stuff on his route + some nsfw):

he smoked in highschool:

in his concept art, he's shown with a cigarette in his mouth (in fact thats one of the only things that was changed from his final design lol). i headcanon that while he was in highschool and very emotionally silly over the heroine / his feelings towards her, he'd kind of avoid her and hang around the "wrong crowds", eventually getting into smoking. he used it as stress relief but its also had the opposite effect bc heroine would KILL him if he ever smoked.. so ? he just kind of sat there feeling guilty and depressed (as toma tends to do).

anyways he quit cold turkey at one point because he got caught by shin. shin was PISSED. he made toma swear that he'd quit immediately otherwise he'd tell the heroine what he was doing (tbh the only threat that would actually work; especially when hes still a teenager and less hateful towards shin). i think he lectured him sooo hard and called him an idiot 5 morbillion times

i feel like i need to clarify that toma was probably the lamest rebellious kid out there. like yeah he smoked but he was doing it bc it was a group expectation, not because he really wanted to.

not entirely inexperienced:

going back to toma in highschool; its canon that he dated a bunch of girls who asked him out, though i don't think he ever got really far with them. i think he's kissed like one girl out of obligation / because he felt like he needed to keep up the act or at least Try to get over the heroine; though i think he probably broke up with that girl soon after. i doubt that any girl he ever dated wouldnt notice his goo goo eyes for the heroine LOL so maybe they knew what they were getting into.

soo i dont think heroine is his first kiss (tho i do think she's his first in other aspects)

sexuality in general:

i think toma is honest to god super repressed in terms of his own sexuality and that's where most of his issues come from. this man does not see ANY (LITERALLY ANY. even nonsexual) of his desires as being normal. that's why he really was so okay with just being onii-chan... it was a safe space for him where he could live in his "wholesome ideals" of a relationship. i feel like most of his talk abt "im a man!!! im a man i could take advantage of you!!" was out of legitimate fear that his sexual side was some beast that he had to keep caged (haha) and that he might hurt the very person he cares abt most in the world. so w that in mind i really can't see this guy being super overtly horny LOL. cage ending aside while i think hes a freak in the sheets or whatever he would be so shy and demure about it all... ahhh heroine... u can't just look at me like that... kyaaa... hes the kind of guy to freeze like a deer in headlights when anything romantic or sexual happens (i like it... but i shouldn't... but i should pull away.. but i don't want to....)

i think hes a soft dom w service top tendencies tee be aich... though id love to go down on him (Who said that ?! )

he totally has a maid fetish imo. it's basically canon so like... that being said it's funny as fuck that he's like Tch... I don't want you to be a maid for other people... you'll just be a maid for me 😈 (in his bad end). like cmon man.

silly:

- i like to imagine that toma learned how to drive purely because he wanted to be able to help shin and the heroine out ... he is the reliable older brother chauffeur of your dreams. I also like to think that he really sucked ass at first though and he got pulled over for running a stop sign once.

- this is just me but i hc him with Poland syndrome 👍👍