#i have Secrets That Must Never See The Light Of Day i am lying to myself at all times

[cream-and-tea]

LAY ME DOWN. chapter seven excerpt. unedited. featuring: agnes taking some time to explore her new surroundings and reflect on her old ones. blasphemy. implied homophobia. religious trauma. mild injury.

[Transcript under the cut]

hiiii! we’ve had pallas’s existential gender ponderings so it’s only fair that i post something that features much more heavily in the plot: Agnes And The Ongoing Sexuality Crisis! now go and listen to hallelujah (in your arms) by semler at least 50 times to accurately recreate the experience i had writing this chapter <3

TAGLIST (ask to be +/-). @vellichor-virgo​ @nicola-writes​ @doctormoss​ @gerbermatter​ @cactusprincewrites @houndmouthed @muddshadow @just-wublrful @midnights-melodiverse @corkywantstowrite @paradisiacalshroud @andromedatalksaboutstuff @kingsinking @lungs-and-gills @lychniscitrus @phantomnations

This isn’t the first time she’s dreamt of girls. 

Agnes considers that fact as she pulls everything out of the chest sitting at the foot of the bed (spare bedding mostly, sheets and quilts and pillowcases— multiple of each—and at least one heavy coat). They’ve never felt like that before though, clear and cold like water running over her skin, so obviously there. Most of the time she doesn’t even remember the other ones, just the feeling of them, waking up part ashamed and part euphoric (the euphoria always wore off long before the shame).

Agnes checks under the bed, then opens and closes the drawer on the end table, scoots it over to peer behind it, not really sure what she’s looking for. Secret passages maybe? Hidden traps? Something to let her know what the rules are here. 

There are, in her experience, at least three kind of rules in the world: the kind that people will tell you up front, the kind that they expect you to just know about and act surprised when you don’t, and the kind that they never say out loud but you can feel somewhere in your bones must be followed at all costs (We don’t talk about how Agnes sees ghosts and we don’t talk about how Agnes thinks about girls both fall into this category). Normally it takes her way too long to figure out which are which, she can’t afford to do that here where everything is already so confusing. 

Pallas would probably know all the rules, if she can find them, if they don’t make her brain explode when she does. Pallas had seemed to know everything about whatever this place is. What would they think of the girl in her dreams? They’re a weird and very sharp sort of person, she thinks, not really anything in particular at all. A why more than a what. If they weren’t definitely going to murder her if she looked at them wrong she would ask about that. 

There’s nothing in the desk but pencils, pens and a stack of notebooks. There’s nothing under the rug or behind the dresser filled with clothes that all look her size. The bookshelf is half full of titles she doesn’t recognize. She’s too weak to climb up to and push aside the strange painting of a human-faced deer full of arrows that hangs over the fireplace. When she limps her way to the bathroom the tub is still full and stagnant from when she filled it the night before but her clothes have mysteriously vanished from their crumpled pile on the floor. 

Agnes sways, then sits on the edge of the bathtub to appease her screaming ankle. She swings one leg into the water, hoping that will somehow help the pain, presses the heels of her hands into her eyes. “Okay. Okay okay okay.”

Things she knows: This is a library in a forest a long time after libraries stopped being something people thought about (her mother is dead). This library is supposedly full of people like her and people like Pallas (her Papá is gone). It’s going to teach her about what she is (her mother is dead). It’s not going to be easy (her mother is dead). She shouldn’t tell anyone her name (her mother is dead). The Library is supposed to save the world. (her Papá is gone). There are doors in trees that lead to tunnels that lead to here and things that look like dogs but aren’t and people that can bend blood and flesh and a Director who’s office sits in the void with a sword hanging above it in suspended animation (her Papá is gone and her mother is dead her Papá is gone and her mother is dead but somehow she is alive alive alive).

Things she doesn’t know: How exactly The Library is going to save the world. What The Library knows about the men in white. Where the men in white could have taken Papá. How these people can teach her about ghosts. How this place stands untouched in a forest that consumes everything around it. Why the girl in her dreams was asking her to find her. Whether or not there will be people her age here. Why the dogs and the Director and the librarian remind her of what the men in white did to her mother. Where her clothes went. If she’ll ever see Pallas again or if they’ve left her for good. If God hates her or not. Why there’s a sword in the Directors office. If there’s a place she can get food. If there’s any point to the deer painting or if it’s there just to creep her out. 

The closest thing they’d had to art on the walls back home was a wood-burned etching of the Virgin Mary that sat propped on a shelf above the kitchen table. Papá had made it for Mother for some anniversary and it really was very beautiful, dark line’s swirling across polished cedar. Her mother loved it and Agnes loved it too, there was something mesmerising about how the natural whorls and grain of the wood mixed with scratchy charcoal dark swirls. She’d liked the way the Mother of Gods eyes were ever so slightly downcast, as if she wanted to look at you but couldn’t quite bring herself to. Agnes could relate to that. And then one night when she was thirteen and everything seemed awful forever she’d gone to bed late after too little time spent with Mother and too much time wandering with the ghosts and dreamt that the carving had come alive. 

Mary had still been the colour of wood in the dream, but soft to the touch, human and wrapped in flowing fabric. Agnes had been standing barefoot and bareshouldered in the middle of the kitchen and Mary had knelt in front of her very very close and Agnes had used to clumsy hands to move the veil from her hair and the Blessed Virgin's hair had come loose around her face and she’d put her carvedgirl hands on either side of Agnes’s face. 

Then Mary had said nos diligimus, quoniam ipse prior dilexit nos and put her lips close to Agnes’s and Agnes had woken up screaming like someone had doused her with boiling oil. 

This, obviously, woke her parents, but she’d been too sick with horror and shame to lie so instead had sobbed out everything into Papá’s shoulder. Then Mother had begun to talk in the high and strung out way that there was something very, very wrong and Papá had sent her to sit on the steps outside in the gnawing February air where she’d pressed her hands to her ears and her snot-streaked face to her knees, trying to block out the sound inside while a dead woman and her barely-there son had pressed to either side of her, trying to be comforting but really only making her colder.

She felt about the same then as she does now, half-awake and shuddery and like she could make one wrong move and the world would collapse in screaming fire around her, well-worn prayers buoying in her heavy head, bits of wood carried along by a torrent of floodwater.

Oh Lord, what’s happening to me.

Oh Lord, why why why why why.

[bookishgirl21]

A whole new world

Azriel x TOG!reader

PT 2

AN: This part will mainly be some backstory, and of course Azriel scenes, hope you enjoy

''Mamma ! Mamma! Come look what I just did! '' my mother's head pokes up from the berry bush she was currently picking from a frown present on her face ''Y/n my baby there is no need to shout, you'll scare of the little folk'' my mother scolds me as she walks towards where I am currently sitting by the river '' Now what is you wanted to show me ? '' l left up my hand and open my palm, my tongue sticks out in concentration, then in my palm appears a cluster of stars, I grin up as my mother , filled with joy about what I can do, but as I look in my mothers face my grin falls and my excitement slowly turns into confusion '' Did I do something wrong Mamma ?'' my mother looks me in the eye ''Y/n you must promise to never show or even tell anyone of this , do you understand me? Especial not your father. '' ''But why? it's magic you have magic and so the fae and they do it. why can't-'' ''Because their are really bad people right now ,who will come and take you away from me if they so you must promise to never show anyone your magic alright?" '' I promise Mamma''

I wake from my memory with a groan, I still remember that day, the fear in my mother's eyes as she realized that her daughter had magic, a very special and rare magic. I lift my palms together and summon the stars to my palms and a soft smile graces my face, I close my hands and make the stars disappear , I feel an old ache in my heart at the memory of my mother and how she had taught me in secret in our mountain home how to wield my magic and keep it hidden.

I stand up and head to the dresser to find something to wear when I find my outfit I wore when I fell into this world washed and clean, so i head to the bathroom and changed. As I finished braiding my hair out of my face there is a knock at the door and I hear Azriel's voice say '' I'm here to take you to Amren's apartment , she had a look last night and she found some books that may help you'' I feel some relief rising, I might be able to go home soon '' I'm coming'' as I open the door Azriel is waiting , he has a soft smile on his face , his hair looks like he has just been flying and I cant help but admire his face , how the morning light hits his eyes where I can see flecks of gold, he is looking at me to and I can a slight blush creep on my face as I look away. Azriel clears his throat '' We will have to fly to the apartment , will carry you-'' ''Fly?!'' I ask in shock ''Yes fly unless you want to walk 10 000 steps...'' I look at him my mouth slightly parted '' I think flying sounds better'' he gives me a crooked smile and leads me to a balcony ''alright I'm going to put one arm under your knees and the other around your back'' he look at me as if asking permission I give him a small nod as he lifts me in his arms and shots off into the sky.

I give off a scream as I wrap my arms around his neck and burry my face their, feel more then hear him laugh, '' it's alright I won't drop you, look'' I feel him say into my ear and as I slowly take my head away from his neck my breath taken from me, the city under us looks so beautiful , I don't know where to look. ''. The rest of the flight is quiet as I take in the city, it seems so peaceful that I wonder f we will have such peacefulness back home or if it still stands if Erawan has taken it already.

Azriel lands in front of a building and sets me down, and leads the way in. When we enter Amrens attic apartment and, it's a mess. there are things lying everywhere and the bed looks as if it hasn't been made since the dawn of time. ''It's always like this'' Azriel whispers in my ear, I look at him from the corner of my eye and give him a nervous huff of breath.

''So girl how is it that you came here to our world? '' I look at Amren who is sitting cross legged on a pillow by a low lying table ''We used wyrdkeys and then we jumped through a door and we started falling through different worlds and then I ended up falling into this world and now I'm here'' Amren looks at me and hums, '' well then make yourself usefull and start looking through these books , they are all I could find about world travel, and you can return to your master'' she says towards Azriel who only glares at her before leavng.

I look at the books lying on the table and pick one up that looks like one my mother had, as I start to read through it a memory comes up in my head.

''You don't understand the power this book holds, I can't just let you take.'' It was the first time in months that my father came to visit and this book had caught his attention '' I promise no one will read it but me Emalyn.'' my mother has her no nonsense face on and replies with a stern ''no'' my father was about to argue when he catches a glimpse of me from behind the door '' sneaking and listening to others conversations are we my little star'' he looks and me and opens his arms for me.

As I continue reading a chapter tittle catches my eye '' WORLD WALKING'' and as I read the chapter is talks about a fae Elder named Elias, who had the magic to open up a portal to other worlds, he was the one who had brought fae to other worlds, with this magic oh his, on the next page there was a picture of him opening a portal with these signs that looked almost like wyrd marks but also so very different. '' I think I might have found something, what do you know of this Elder Fae Elias? '' Amren looks up from her own book and says '' Elias is mostly a children's bed time story, that chapter you just read is the Adult version of the story'' '' could it not be true ? '' '' No, for many people have tried and drawn those marks of his and nothing has happened, as I've said it's a children's bed time story, I don't even remember bringing that book with me. Don't waste your time with that book''

As the day goes by we find nothing that would be able to help me home. The door opens and in comes Azriel '' Any luck ? '' he only gets two heads shaking as his answer. '' we should perhaps send a letter to Helion asking if he could not help us'' Amren says to Azriel, he nods and over a hand to me, I take it and stretch out. ''I will ask Rhys if he could send a letter to Helion tonight, good night Amren'' he says as he turns and I give the female a wave goodbye and head with Azriel to the House Of Wind.

We had dinner and all went to our own rooms for the night, as I sit in the bath I help but think back about the book and what my mother said about it. My mother had always said to me that I was never to touch any of those books she had in her bed room unless of an emergency, and when she died that night magic went away those books where no longer on her shelf and when I asked my father about them he said it was for 13 year old girls to worry about and I never had the nerve to ask about them again, though now I wonder if it was Erawan who had taken the books in hopes to use those marks instead of the wyrdkeys.

As I get out from the bath and get dressed I find myself walking to the kitchen for a snack but as I enter I see Azriel already there eating a cupcake '' oh I'm so sorry I didn't mean to disturb your cupcake eating'' Azriel looks at me and says '' it's alright, you may join if you'd like'' he holds out a cupcake to me, I smile and take the cupcake from him ''Thank you'' we eat our cupcakes in a comfortable silence.

''You have some icing on your lip'' Azriel breaks the silence I wipe at my lips and look at him '' did I get it? '' he huffs a laugh and lifts his thumb to my mouth '' no here let me'' he swipes his thumb over my lip, his eyes are fixed on my lips as he continues to run his thumb along them. Hs eyes lift to mine as he leans in slowly, he brushes his lips against mine in question, my eyes flutter shut as I lean in , the kiss is soft and gentle, his hand goes and cups my jaw and I feel his tongue against my lips asking for permission, I grant him access and the kiss gets heated, he pulls back only to start a trail of kisses down my neck and as he kisses where my neck meets my shoulder I release a sound I've never made before and left m hands to his hair. He says against my skin ''you make such beautiful noises I can't wait to hear-'' then there was a sound of a plate crashing to the floor, I gasp , feeling embaressed to be caught in such position, I can feel the blush rising from my neck up to my face, my lips still swollen from the kissing.

It's Elain standing at the door a smashed plate at her feet ''Oh I'm so sorry for interrupting , I was just brining this plate back, I'll leave you two know'' as she leaves out the door the broken plate disappears. I turn back to Azriel, his lips are swollen just as mine, his hair messy from my hands '' it's getting late, we should go to bed, I have to get up early to help with training '' ''right yes of course , can I be present during training, I need to keep in shape '' Azriel looks at me blush evident on his cheek '' You are more then welcomes to join training, I'll get you early tomorrow before training so that you may get ready'' and with that he leaves the kitchen.

My dreams that night was filled with the story of Elias and his marks to travel worlds

[sheikahwarriork]

Silver snow post war dimileth.

Dimitri married queen Byleth as her prince cosort and is trying his best to support her until his friends and the queen's council drop to him thay he should get into getting her an heir for like yesterday because only a baby would give her reign legitimacy and a proper start of the Eisner Dinasty. SO... now he has to pretend they are doing it for Fodlan and he is not doing it because he is stupidly smitten.

She is kind, strong, intelligent and she could have any man or woman she desired.

And obviously she married him for political reasons... Because who would want the love of a beast like him? So he has to make it as painless and quick as possible? But why would she embrace him? But why does she looks tenderly at him? What does that mean?

He is a dumbass your honor.

They also both suck at communication your honor.

Ps. He obviously survived and married her because obviously all the blue lions survived and lived happily ever after in Silver Snow lalalalalaIAMNOTLISTENING.

SS DIMILETH!! and dimitri being a stubborn dumbass, i love to see it <3

(of course ALL the blue lions survive in SS. what are you even talking about. we dont see gronder so it doesn't happenLALALALA)

you kinda make me want to write a smut one shot with this idea anon 🥺 (BUT NOW I CANT I HAVE TO STUDY FOR MY EXAMS HELP AHHHHH-)

i'll save this prompt for later but meanwhile:

When Dimitri is told he have to give a heir to the Archbishop, to say he's troubled is belittling.

Of course he spent his academy days thinking about it- thinking to start a family with the professor of the Black Eagles, thinking about how sweet and perfect she would be carrying his child(ren) [The Blayddid Breeding Kink™ is always on]- but he always thought it wasn't possible. He didn't deserve her (he does); why would she love him back (she does)?

But now, now his wildest dream came true: he's married to the woman he fell in love with the very moment he first saw her. But at the same time, he knows it's all fake (it isn't), she doesn't love him back (she does, she too fell in love with him years ago), it's all for political reasons (the day Byleth and Dimitri got married was the happiest the Archbishop ever been).

He doesn't deserve her hand, and even less he does deserve to see her giving him child(ren). He knows it's a sinner, to love her in secret and yet under the light of their marriage; he's lying to her, they're married and yet he shouldn't be so happy about it, he shouldn't love her so much. And to give her a heir means... to use her, to lie to her once again; he doesn't have the right to indulge in his feelings, he doesn't have the right to have her, he shouldn't use her, he shouldn't enjoy the idea so much-

But she's watching him with so much tenderness, she's taking his hand with so much care it's like she's afraid to break it (it won't, Dimitri's body is strong, so strong he's the one afraid of breaking her-); and now she's kissing him with so much passion- it's their second kiss, the first a quick bruising lips on their wedding day, to seal their union- and he can't help but reciprocate, he knows he shouldn't- he told himself to be quick and functional, no feelings allowed-

And yet he indulges in her warm, because he's a weak man, no, a weak beast; and now she's dragging him to the bed, never letting him go, like she's afraid he'd disappear- but she must not worry, for Dimitri is a weak beast and does not want to go away- and her kisses become even more passionate and her hands explore his body with more fervor. And as they go on- Dimitri starts to think he's actually died during the war, and this is the afterlife, and the Goddess must be toying with him, all of this can't be real, she's exactly like he always dreamed- he stops in his kissing, and looks her in the eye. "Why?" he whispers, on the verge of tears. "Why are you showing me so much love? A depraved beast as i am, willing to use you for my sinful desires, does not deserve such care, does not deserve your warmth". He's about to move away, when Byleth's hand firmly holds him. "You asked why," she kisses his cheek. "I, too, have sinned," she kisses his nose. "I should have kissed you earlier," she kisses his damaged eye. "I should have shown earlier how much I love you," she kisses his lips. "I've sinned to you. I should have been more honest. But allow me to fix it".

A part of Dimitri wants to answer back- the part that keeps reminding him he's but a beast- but Byleth is looking at him with so much desire and not a hint of lies- she was never good at lying- and how could he refuse a direct request from his Goddess?

"As you wish, my beloved."

Texts from the time say the Archbishop Byleth and her husband Dimitri were blessed with many children, and that they both always smiled when looking at each other, desperately in love.

woooo anon i wasnt planning to write so much (I HAVE TO GO STUDY HELP) but thank you so much for the idea, i really needed to write those two dumbasses 🥺💙💚 (also sorry for the late reply, as i said i don't have much time lately bc uni is killing me and that is also the reason why i haven't updated my Azure Moon fic T__T being yuzu is suffering)

i hope you liked it, and again thank you <3 anons that drop dimileth ideas in my inbox are all my beloveds :3

[tmblrcolouredpaper]

Eyes on you. Open your eyes.

Hyunjin / Fem!Reader ft. Felix tw: alcohol consumptions; (emotional) breakup; lies; cursing; emotional isolation; mutual pining wc: 2329

He knows your secrets. He is one of them. He knows your lies and your tricks. He is one of them. 

‘I wanted to see you like this for so long’, he whispers, then reaches behind him to lock the door. 

‘Do you understand how exhausting it is to be your friend when deep down I know I will never be enough for you? It’s like you pity me, yet I rationally know that you genuinely like me’, he takes a step towards you, his fragrance fanning towards you, embracing you into his close proximity. 

‘You like me, don’t you? Otherwise you wouldn’t keep up with me the way you do, right?’

With a final step he arrives. You have to raise your chin to not have him bump into you when he leans over your figure. 

‘Or are you lying?’, he hushes. 

The first time he met you, it was a late autumn night, and the darkness swallowed your details, street lights only revealing your silhouette. To him, it was like you were nothing more than an additional shadow in the streets, but you immediately were the most beautiful figure of obscurity. 

‘That’s her’, his friend Felix told him with a big grin on his face. 

He was light on his feet when he ran over to you to greet you with a warm hug. Hyunjin followed in a significantly slower pace, cautiously. The glass of whiskey in his hand was the perfect accessory to his elegant look. The long coat floated over his long body with grace, letting the white button-down shirt peek through. The subtle shimmer of his shoes and matching belt reminded him of the river that binds the streets together, both nature and clothes mutually reflecting the light. 

You in contrast were dressed casually. There was no obvious shimmer. To Hyunjin you didn’t need any additional details. Your eyes were already enough for him, little droplets that must have jumped right out of the river and into your face. 

When he sat together at the table with Felix and you chatting in front of him, he was sure that he was supposed to feel like a third wheel, silent throughout the whole night and only sipping on his drink. However, the experience was rich. It included you. Therefore, he didn't feel like he missed anything.

The second time he met you, Felix was crying. Hyunjin stumbled into his friend’s apartment to spontaneously hang out with him at the wrong moment. He only caught onto you rushing outside with a stoic expression, jaw clenched and eyes cold like the ice that covered the river by now. 

‘She broke up’, Felix sobbed and clung onto Hyunjin when he offered him a hug. 

The absurd mixture of hatred for the fact that you broke his friend’s heart and guilt for immediately bening excited that you are now available caused him to cry in union with Felix. The younger one thought the tears emanated from empathy. Hyunjin never clarified their motivation. 

‘She had no reason’, Felix cried out in a high pitched croak of his voice, before he fell silent for days. 

Hyunjin never asked Felix about you. Felix never mentioned you again. He moved on. His smile returned, and so did his voice. He seemed happier than Hyunjin had seen him in years, so he secretly thanked you for being one of Felix’s experiences in this phase of life. 

The third time he met you, was the first time you actually got to have a conversation. You were seated on a park bench in the middle of spring. There was a big block draped over your legs, just like Hyunjin knows himself to have when he is outside painting. 

You greet him as if he were a long friend. The casualness of your tone caused him to sit down next to you. He immediately used the opportunity to catch a glimpse of the paper in front of you. It was empty. 

‘Are you drawing?’, he asked puzzled and realized that there were no pencils, no brushes, besides the block, no utensils around you. 

‘I am’, you laughed and closed the block to put it aside. 

‘Pretty picture’, he complimented sarcastically, but your thanks sounded more than genuine. 

‘How’s Felix doing?’, you asked joyfully and stared in front of you, fixating something Hyunjin couldn’t even imagine being there. 

‘He’s doing great’, he answered honestly.

‘That’s good’, you replied with a certain hollowness, as if you didn’t actually care or even hoped for a different answer.

A butterfly jumped through the air in front of you. Hyunjin followed it with the excitement he always encounters when he sees his first butterfly of the year. He almost squealed in joy, but your eyes stopped him. They were still cold, as cold as the last time he had seen you. 

‘Has he talked about me?’, you asked in a whisper, so quietly that Hyunjin wondered if you were directing the question towards him or if it was an intimate conversation you started with the universe. 

‘He hasn’t’, he brought himself to tell you after a few seconds of an immense internal fight of whether he should remain silent, lie or tell you the truth. 

He doesn’t know why he considered straight up lying. It was not in his nature to restrain from the truth so easily, but for you he was suddenly ready to turn towards the biggest lies if it meant benefiting you. 

‘Maybe it’s better that way’, you said, got up and left. 

Hyunjin knew you were disappointed. The anger of becoming so irrelevant that not even bad words were lost about you, that you had so little impact that not even anger had a chance to stay as a manifestation of you in Felix’s life must have caused you great isolation. 

The first time he woke up to a morning message from you was when he slept for only two hours. Insomnia is a bitch. 

You: I got your number from Felix after the night at the river bar. If you want to have nothing to do with me, that’s fine. But if you’d like to meet up at the restaurant next to the bar tonight at 8 o’clock, I’d be more fine with that. 

Hyunin: Is that an invitation for a date?

You: It is.

Hyunjin: You’d prefer me showing up than not wanting to have anything to do with you?

You: Exactly. 

Hyunjin: And you think I’d do that after what you did to my friend? 

You: I don’t know. That’s why I am offering. 

Hyunjin: Offering???

You: To never talk to me again or talk to me this evening. It’s your choice. 

Hyunjin: …

Hyunjin: May I surprise you with my choice? 

You: Do you want me to sit at the restaurant waiting for you not coming? 

Hyunijn: Maybe…

You: Play your games. I play mine. 

You: Schrödinger’s date, here we go. 

The first date Hyunjin went on with you, was not truly a date to him. He didn’t want to come. He was tired. He had all the reasons to stay at home, be a loyal friend, be a healthy person, who catches onto some sleep by going to bed early. He had no reason to come to you. Yet he put on his suit and strutted down the street next to the river. 

He saw you through the window. A red dress with matching lipstick and yet again, no jewelry. The only thing shimmering in the light were your eyes. There were two wine glasses placed on the table, both empty.

‘Were you already drinking?’, he asked, knowing that you weren’t.

The lack of lipstick stain on the glass was telling him. 

‘Yes. The wine is delicious’, you smiled and swirled the empty glass around the air. 

He sat down across from you, way less reluctantly than he hoped he would. 

‘Do you have questions?’, you asked him under your suddenly intense gaze.

‘I- Questions? What about?’, he stammered, quickly clearing his throat to restore his composure. 

‘About me’, you responded, your gaze loosening up into a puddle of sadness. 

That was when Hyunjin understood that he was not only being cruel to Felix, his own values, but also you. He showed up on a date with full dishonesty. After all he was interested in you, wondered about you and why you broke up with Felix, his scream of despair, yet he showed up with no sense of initiative, no personal motivation, but letting that deep down unknown take control of his whole being. 

‘What are your thoughts regarding me?’, Hyunjin let out with a smirk, leaning back with a raise of his hand to signify the waiter to come over and bring him a glass of whiskey. 

You wanted him to play his games. He just had to find out what game he wanted to play. 

He is met with the sweet little smile of yours. It was almost shy, but heavily concealed with a well constructed facade of confidence, arrogance as some people will, as he understood. He knew it from himself. 

‘You’re tall’, you stated dryly, yet your eyes glimmered in a playful manner, challenging him, awaiting his reaction. 

‘What else? Shower me with thoughts’, he chuckled, feeling patient, anticipating the evening to last for a long time. 

‘Almost every time I've seen ee you, you are drinking whiskey while wearing pretty clothes’, you added, and Hyunjin wondered why your head was so full of shallow observations. 

‘Am I pretty?’, he asked, usually not genuinely interested in an answer to that question. 

He knew he was beyond the concept of beauty. To him life cannot be put into such categories without the major detriment of limitation. No answer would have satisfied him, no accent on such characteristics, yet he asked you. And then you didn’t answer, remained silent with a face filled with guilt. 

‘You don’t have to answer anything you don’t want to’, he appeased, already forgetting his insufficient question, only focused on your discomfort as you kept looking into his eyes.

‘You are’, you whispered, tears brimming in the corner of your eyes. 

‘Don’t hide’, he hushed, silently getting up from his chair to appear next to you when you lowered your head, the unconscious urge to hold you through your stressed state was overtaking his system just like the urge to show up at the restaurant earlier. 

‘I’m not hiding’, you breathed out through your red lips, that suddenly looked so incredibly misplaced to him. 

No accessories, not accentuated features, just your bland natural being was what made sense to him, just like the first night your visual manifestation was introduced to him. 

‘Don’t lie’, he begged and he finally met your eyes. 

The first time he looked into your eyes for longer than two seconds was when you also couldn't disconnect that contact. He believes he saw everything. He believes that there was a reason why you showed up as a shadow, simple and hushed by your surroundings. 

‘Don’t lie’, became the silent reminder whenever your eyes met, and from that first moment on, he knew he’d see you again, talk to you again, reach out to you again. He wanted to hear everything, every of your lies, every of your truths, every of your words in between, everything of you. 

He knows your secrets. He is one of them, has been since the first time you met him. Your focus shifted way too fast from Felix to Hyunijn. It was not fair. You loved Felix, and he loved you, and then your heart did this absurd turn and left you hanging. Not telling Felix the truth of why you broke up with him should have stayed the biggest lie.

It is an indirect one. Remaining silent, denying information is a cruel form of a lie. Then you went out your way and pursued Hyunjin. It is unfair to Felix. It is unfair to Hyunjin. How could he possibly trust you with the knowledge of your history?

He knows your lies and your tricks. He is one of them. 

‘I wanted to see you like this for so long’, he whispers, then reaches behind him to lock the bathroom door. 

No makeup, no accessories, just your old plain clothes. You wear them on a daily basis when you roam around at home, away from any perceiving eyes. The only time you are able to let down your guard - when you exist in self indulged isolation.  

‘Do you understand how exhausting it is to be your friend’s friend when deep down I know I will never be enough for you? It’s like you pity me, yet I rationally know that you genuinely like me’, he takes a step towards you, his fragrance fanning towards you, embracing you into his close proximity. 

You knew he liked you from the first encounter on. It was so obvious, the way he stared. You knew he would be easy for you. Long before you broke up with Felix, you pitied him for being so oblivious to all of it, oblivious to you not loving him anymore, Hyunjin being into you, you being into Hyunjin.

Simultaneously, you never pitied Hyunjin. You admired him for his dedication, his patience, and even throughout the time you got to have with him, he stayed loyal to those characteristics. He took in all of your lies that you trained yourself to tell with the illusion to protect yourself. He tore them apart so gently that you started to see your truths as prettily wrapped presents. He kept all the paper and bows, but whenever you resort to hiding your veracity, he knows which wrapping paper belongs to which part of you. 

‘You like me, don’t you? Otherwise you wouldn’t keep up with me the way you do, right?’

With a final step he arrives. You have to raise your chin to not have him bump into you when he leans over your figure. 

‘Or are you lying and actually hate me?’, he hushes. 

You close your eyes.

°˖✧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚✧˖°˖✧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚✧˖°˖✧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚✧˖°˖✧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚✧˖°˖✧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚✧˖°

If you enjoyed reading this, you might also like:

°˖✧Fuck You (Chan/Reader)

°˖✧Favorite Track is an Understatement (Chan/Reader)

[beanmom-blogs]

FFXIV Write 2024 Prompt#10 : Stable

“You know I love you, correct? Just not in the way that men and women are supposed to love each other.” She hesitated, shifting her tiny frame on the oversized chair. “I cannot. I will not. I cannot be for anyone what a wife is supposed to be. I am too frail, too sickly. Too much in love with living life to be in love with any one man in it.”

Rousellmont sat across from her, lounging on a sofa. In essence, with her in a small chair and he on the larger lounger, they almost gave the illusion of being of a similar size. They both fit the same amount of space on their respective seats. But it was just an illusion, and illusions were something Rousellmont was intimately familiar with. “My foolish friend, are you still determined in your head of heads and heart of hearts that I am chasing after you? How long have we known each other, Malrie? Have I ever, even once, indicated an intention beyond this friendship? What are you reading into my actions, Mal-adroit?”

Her eyebrows rose, as well as her shoulders, a shrug to fit her proportions. “It wouldn’t be the first time, Rose. Kinky lustful men look at me and think it might be a novel thing to have me on their arm. Men who say they want nothing, but show more in their eyes. I’m just making for certain you are not merely better at hiding said intentions. You have always maintained that certain mysterious streak, that walk through life as if you have walked through life since you were born and not grew into it as everyone else.”

His head tilted, one eyebrow rising along with his own shoulders this time. “A fair assessment, confidence as well as a security of mine own place in society leaves me with little room for letting the trivialities of life bear into me so.” He wasn’t about to tell her how close to the truth she was. Not yet. In time, perhaps.

“Rousey, what is it your stubborn self is hiding, hmm? And do not tell me ‘nothing’, I may be youthful still yet, but being as I must sit and observe through all these long and boring days, I see that which others do not.”

Or perhaps this was the perfect opportunity. He sniffed once, leaning forward. Letting his elbows rest on his knees, bringing his hands together in a light clasp. “How tired of the games are you, My Lady Feaugard.”

Her head pulled back at being addressed by him in so formal of a manner. “Games? What games? The ones where I flirt but I mean naught by it all and the men all flock around me for a chance that they’re never going to receive?”

“Yes. Precisely. I know you find it entertaining, but do not you also find it exhausting? I see the lines on your face, the ones that should not yet be there. I hear the weary tone in your voice when you have been entertaining for bells and would rather go lie in bed but society dictates you continue till even further bells have passed. I hear your words, that you have not the proper desire to be that which most women yearn for. You could have any pick of any eligible man yet you turn them all down time and again. Those with whom decide to ask. A breaker of hearts, though always done so soothingly that they are still smitten with you despite it all. What toll does such take?”

“My Lord, what is it you are getting at. What does this have to do with the secrets lying in wait behind your eyes. Tell me true, are you after what they are after? You know I cannot let it be so. Please. Save yourself the humiliation… save our friendship.”

He rose up a finger. “I am not. Though I do look to offer you an opportunity. Our friendship will remain just friendship, naught else. However. I offer to you a chance at something stable. Secure. For I love you too, but not in the manner in which men and women are meant to love each other. I wish the best for you, I wish you to be free of those societal chains, I wish to offer you a calm life. A full life. A life you choose for yourself, not one with which others choose for you.”

“But you still wish to make me your wife.”

“I do. In name only. You would have your own spaces, I would have mine, but I would ever be there, a ring of a bell should you need me for anything at all.”

Staring at him for a longer, quieter time, she chewed at her lip. “Security. Stability. And your explicit promise that our marriage would be only for the title of Husband and Wife, naught else expected nor wished for nor hoped for?”

“My explicit promise.”

Her eyes flickered over his face, trying to read the curves and lines of it, pressing her gaze at the blue-green of his eyes. More long moments of silence before she replied in hushed tones, “Tell me more.”

[archivus]

MAG[REDACTED] - Dark Down Below

This is episode dedicated to fans of Agnes Montague, the Cult of the Lightless Flame or the People's Church of the Divine Host

Statement of Lisa Yordanka regarding her experience with a strange mattress. Original statement given 22nd of August 1998, recording by Arcturus Walker, head archivist of the Magnus Institute, Budapest. Put to tape on April 2nd 2024. Statement begins:

I know about the entities. And I know that you must know about them as well. The ten lords in the sky beyond controlling our fears, but there's only one to which's power I consented to: the Desolation. I never thought a daughter of The Blackened Earth would be haunted by The Forever Blind. But I guess dark and destruction, flame and ash and coal go hand in hand. I never thought of their faction as the enemy. I thought we had some kind of contract binding us until we rid our area of The Mother of Puppets. Assuming they were the ones that brought it upon me.

I'm a coward. I have been devout to Asag ever since it enlightened me to it all: the human race deserves not what it has. The only one to bring destruction to it all is my God and no one else's. I would sacrifice myself in its name and yet, I haven't. I want to say I just haven't had the chance to, but that'd be a lie. I am afraid to die. Even in light of the powers at my fingertips I cannot bring death upon my shell. Because wouldn't that mean giving myself up to Terminus? Wouldn't that just feed The Coming End That Waits For All? Will I stop lying to myself one day? I can't bring myself to do it. It's that simple.

Until the inevitable end comes when I'll finally unite with the one to light my fire I will put this body to the most use that I can for both IT and the cult. So then, how come The Dark set it's blind gaze upon me? Why did I become their target? I don't even know what it counts, maybe as- as an artefact? A monster that came for me? Did something *posess* my mattress while I was busy fighting for Agnes?

It was a cold night, I remember. I got the chance to be around the chosen one, for a week I was blessed by her presence and I soaked it up, I could feel it in my powers. But the apartment she and Jude shared didn't have a guest bedroom nor a third bed, but luckily someone from the cult had a spare mattress we brought over to accommodate those that wish to see messiah and bathe in her immediate divinity. I was not the first to sleep on it. But I was there at the wrong time.

See, we had a bit of a commotion with our siblings over at the people's church, some started a protest that this joint of powers is a downright sacrilege towards their "Mr. Pitch", that whilst our flame is lightless, the heat it emanates is reminiscent of the thing they hate the most. They argued that our burning is parallel to that of the Sun which they're so desperately trying to blacken and thus we were harmful to their sanctity.

Though we tried to keep Agnes's identity a secret, their most sensitive to the world beyond ours could feel her presence and the gossip carried the word quick and far. So their target was set on our dear messiah's back and that was something I simply I could not let happen. The physical aspect of the fight was lacking to say the least, the darkness works by disorientation not by direct combat, which is what the flame excels at.

Thankfully my blessed abilities include striking a spark into all that's electric and once the churchmen's frosty void surrounded us all I was able to flick all the broken bulbs lying around, those that they ritualistically destroyed into a flashbang for those who still perceived with their eyes. The rest also felt their power dissipate. The destruction of their ego, their fear of eradication almost made me want to get up close and personal with those who were first to open fire but there was no need, for they all turned their backs and my family from the cult urged me to leave them behind. That mercy was undeserved and it hurt.

That evening I had a hard time ridding my system of the pent up adrenaline. I took to some meditation with the members who were still there by the nightfall, but I still struggled to fall asleep. The mattress seemed too wavy and for long long hours I thought it was just my shocked perception playing tricks on my brain. But then I felt something slam into the middle of my spine, a shocking pain piercing through my skin like a round knife. It was like a heavy wooden door shutting, again and again and again. I tried to scream. I see well in the dark, my heat perception is impeccable yet I couldn't find a thing in my vicinity. The room seemed empty and after half a second the darkness seemed to wrap around my neck, flowing down my throat, muffling any sound I made. Then another spring etched into the nape of my neck, with a power that should've sprung my head up but something weighed me down on the needle bed that kept on prying into my body, spring by spring until I lost consciousness.

I don't even have to mention. It was dark. The most pitch black one couldn't see. This one had to be lived by a soul, as I was sure that was all I had now. My, at least what I believe to be my projected- body was glowing. I wasn't floating though. All around me was all encompassing darkness, yes, but I was laying in a swamp of some sort of viscous liquid that barely felt like it was even there. At first at least. I could barely touch it, the texture escaped my fingertips. That was until I felt a bump forming under my back from what, I now felt as a tiny swarm of particles, a dark sentient confetti. Thinking they were about to transport me I relaxed my body. How naive of me. Expecting to meet face to face with one of the gods from beyond? In my right mind I definitely wouldn't have thought myself worthy and I still not am. But I let go to see where the darkness takes me. Nowhere.

All of a sudden I experienced an ache of a thousand suns burrowing under my skin, the wounds were still obviously there from where the springs burst into me, and now they were being pried open once again by the mysterious creatures, bleeding me dry in the dreamscape of their master(s). I was numb. The pain made my brain forget where my muscles were positioned. I wouldn't be surprised if it was because of a spinal cord injury. For a moment it all seemed to cease but right after the calm my whole being began to spasm. I was experiencing a shock, a fit that I can't describe. I wasn't conscious all throughout though, I can tell you that much. After all my muscles startes vibrating uncontrollably, I lost myself.

And then awoke. My head throbbing like a bad hangover, I climbed over to the bathroom. I spare you the details, I was in a rather sorry state. I do not know who cursed me in the church and I do not care to find out. I want them all to pay, to burn among the flames they'll wish so desperately to not see. But my fire will burn through their blackened eyeholes and etch a flash in the deepest corners of the minds of even those that could never see. And I'll leave this statement to you and the ages to come, to note the day those wretched monsters dare lay their closed eyes upon our Agnes.

Statement ends. There are certainly a few interesting details to this statement so I'll go over them in order. First, Lisa only seems to know about 10 of the 15 entities, which may translate to the Cult of The Lightless Flame having the same, limited knowledge. This can be seen by the fact that miss Lisa's powers described here more closely resemble The Extinction's, rather than The Desolation's. It definitely gets me wondering how someone devout could be snatched from their entity's grasp. Maybe the Future Without Us was already within her when she first joined the cult?

Still baffles me how such a new power would dare mess with the subordinates of the burning destruction. Miss Lisa's fear and inability to sacrifice herself may come from The Extinction preventing her from becoming an avatar to the *wrong* entity, or it could just be a manifestation of its powers, just like her wishing death upon the entirety of the human race. I was also unaware that the two most active cults at the time, at least of those serving the entities, held such close ties, even if we just witnessed them getting severed...

Two days after giving this statement the apartment under the name of Lisa Yordanka caught fire, which is assumed to be electrical in nature, her kitchen appliances being the most likely source, and whilst cameras don't show her leaving, no body was found. Per my deductions this means she had completed her transformation into an avatar, though maybe not the one she wished to become. I wonder if the metal from the springs could've helped her body transform, like a crystallization chain reaction. Those born of The Terrible Change seem to enjoy their robotic bodies more than their organic ones, which they often experience as flesh-prisons. *sigh* I hope this fellow avatar finds it freeing as well and not as another bound to something she doesn't even know about. Wonder if she's ever going to figure it out. Recording ends.

Thanks for reading! I love how this turned out and actually written most of it before The Stranger's episode was done 😅. This episode is dedicated to The Dark and you can find the other ones here: The Flesh The Vast The Stranger

[lovenpeace-pkmn]

☽ - a memory of their father

[Lord Ghetsis leaves N’s room, his long coat swishing behind him. Anthea watches him go with her hands folded in her lap. He’d forgotten they were there, she’s certain–not even sparing her or Concordia a glance as he’d spoken to N and left. He must have. Surely if he’d remembered they were watching, he wouldn’t have… 

She needs to talk to Concordia about this.

Gathering her resolve, she dusts off her skirts and stands up. “We are going out too, alright? I must speak with Concordia for a moment.”

Concordia looks up at Anthea, startled. N’s face falls. “Can’t you do it here?”

Anthea’s heart twists, and she almost reconsiders, but this isn’t something she can say in front of her eight-year-old prince. (Nor in front of his Pokémon friends–she and Concordia had learned quickly that any secret overheard by Pokémon would soon find it’s way back to N’s ears.) “No, I’m–I am sorry, my lord,” she says. “We will return soon. Why don’t you keep helping Woobat with that trick she was practicing earlier?”

N sighs dejectedly. “Alright… Come on, Zorua.”

Concordia narrows her eyes at Anthea, but she doesn’t say anything until they’re across the hall to their own rooms. She leans against the kitchen counter. “Alright, A, what’s up?”

“Um.” She takes a deep breath and forces the words out before she can hesitate. “This might sound crazy, but I don’t think Lord Ghetsis likes N very much.”

Concordia blinks at her, then glances at the door like she’s worried someone might be listening. “Don’t say that. Lord Ghetsis is a good guy, he took us in and he wants to help the Pokémon…”

“The way he looked at him when his back was turned, didn’t you see it?” He’s looked at N like that before, nose slightly wrinkled and lips pressed in a tight frown, when N mixed barks and growls in with his speech. Anthea had thought perhaps he was displeased with the progress of N’s Galarian lessons–he always had been insistent that N learn to speak like a human and not “like a freak.” But N’s speech had been perfectly fine today. He hadn’t done anything wrong at all. And yet Ghetsis had still… “He does that same thing when he doesn’t like something.”

Concordia frowns, and Anthea knows she saw it too. “That doesn’t–it was a trick of the light. He didn’t mean it. Of course he likes Lord N. What kind of father–” She cuts off and frowns uneasily at the floor, because they both know what kind of father. They’d come from an orphanage. Lots of fathers didn’t love their children, or didn’t love them enough not to treat them in ways that got CPS called on them.

And also: “The same kind who doesn’t love his daughters.”

Concordia’s eyes widen. “Shut up! Of course he loves us! Just because he never says it, or calls us his daughters, or treats us like family, or–or–”

“Or looks at us without yelling at us?”

“Stop it! He loves us! All of us!”

“He doesn’t care about us, and he doesn’t like N!” Anthea doesn’t know why she’s pushing back–why she can’t just agree with Concordia. It would be easier to pretend. But really she’s known for ages now that Lord Ghetsis didn’t love the two of them, and she knows Concordia knows too, and why can’t she just admit the truth–

(If she can just be angry about that, then she doesn’t have to be scared of what it might mean that Ghetsis brought them all here and doesn’t love any of them, even N. Of what else he might be lying about, if he lied about that.)

(If she’s yelling about it, then she’s not crying. She’s too old to cry.)

...

(Days later, she’ll admit to herself, and then hate herself for it: it’s almost a relief that Ghetsis hates N too.)]

[whump-me]

Martyr, Chapter 21: There Always Comes A Moment

Chapter 21 of Martyr, a novel-length sci-fi whump story about a captured Martian rebel with a secret and the renowned interrogator who has waited a decade for the chance to break him. This series is best read in order. Masterpost here.

Contains: multiple defiant whumpees, cold whumper, restraints, interrogation, blood, verbal sparring, forced to watch

---

Wraith

This time, the knife slid sideways across the back of the prisoner’s wrist, just behind the wrist bone. It dug deep, parting the skin, letting dark blood flow out as the prisoner bit his lip. He threw his head back, sweat beading above his eyes. His lips grew white where his teeth pressed into his skin in an effort to hold back a cry of pain.

“Next time,” said Isadora, “he loses the hand. I am done with your lies, Wraith. They started when you told us that was your name, and they haven’t stopped since.” She flicked the knife toward the prisoner, making him flinch back. A drop of blood flew off the tip and landed on his cheek, just below his eye.

“Now finish telling me about that day,” said Isadora. “Tell me about your last conversation. But this time, choose your words carefully. You will not get another warning.”

Wraith’s breathing came heavily. Fuck her. Fuck her and all her talk about games, about strategies and tactics and rules. The only rule here was that Isadora did whatever she wanted. If she wanted to say he was lying, then he was lying, and who was going to contradict her? Wraith could yell all he wanted, and it wouldn’t stop her from cutting off the prisoner’s hand and telling him it was his fault.

Anything he said would be wrong. Anything he said would be a lie in her eyes. Was that the point? Was she trying to break his mind by convincing him to keep trying to please her, then punishing him by proxy no matter what he said? But then why bother trying? Surely she knew the only thing that would do was make him stop talking entirely.

But not yet. Not while he still had a chance to keep her from following through on her threat. And that was the trick, wasn’t it? As long as that chance existed, he would keep trying.

Even if he knew that whatever he said, the prisoner across from him would suffer for it.

Isadora stared into his eyes as if she could see every thought that passed through his mind. He couldn’t think with her watching him like that. He closed his eyes.

He put himself back in Gabriel’s office. He brought himself back to that night, after he had stormed off in a huff, after he had walked the deserted tunnels for hours—the ones only he and Gabriel knew about—and worked off his helpless fury until he found a solution. Until he realized he wasn’t so helpless after all—there was still something he could do.

He had known Gabriel would still be awake when he came back. He had thought Gabriel would be surprised to see him. Normally, when they had a fight like that, it took him at least a day or two to come back to apologize for whatever he had said in the heat of anger.

This time, he hadn’t had an apology to offer. And Gabriel had seemed to know it. There was a certain way he held himself when he knew Wraith was about to apologize to him, a light in his eyes that told Wraith he was already forgiven. Wraith hadn’t seen any light in his eyes this time. Only that deep, deep sorrow.

Wraith had outlined his plan. Gabriel had offered the expected objections. But it had felt like they were going through the motions. Gabriel must have known he wouldn’t be able to talk Wraith out of his plan, because that expression on his face had never changed. It was as if, from the second Wraith had walked back into the room, Gabriel had known not only what he would say, but how the argument would end.

It was as if he had known.

Because Gabriel always knew. He knew how Wraith would react in any given situation, sometimes even before Wraith himself did. It was how he had pulled Wraith out of trouble so many times. It was why he sometimes held certain pieces of information back, even though he knew Wraith would be furious when he found out Gabriel had been keeping secrets from him.

Like he had hidden the truth of how close Special Security was to finding him out. Until he hadn’t.

He hadn’t needed to tell Wraith the truth that night. As much as Wraith wanted to believe he could convince his friend to open up to him, the truth was, Gabriel didn’t tell anyone anything unless he thought they needed to know. Not even him. It was another thing they had argued about often over the years. Just open up to me, Gabriel, will you? Come on, it’s if you can talk to anyone about this stuff, it should be me. And Gabriel would just shake his head, alone behind his desk, with a halo clinging to his hair and the weight of the world on his shoulders.

He never told Wraith anything unless it was the right time for Wraith to know. He wouldn’t have told Wraith the truth that night unless he thought it was the right time. No matter how hard Wraith pushed him.

When Wraith had walked out the door that night after their argument, Gabriel had looked so sad. When he had walked back in, Gabriel had looked like he was grieving.

Gabriel had known what Wraith would say. Gabriel always knew what Wraith would say.

Something bubbled up in Wraith’s chest, something that seared his skin from the inside, like scalding water boiling up from his gut. He wanted to throw his head back and scream.

Gabriel hadn’t wanted him to do it. They had argued about it for hours.

An argument just like all their other arguments. A well-worn track, one they had gone around again and again. Gabriel knew all his lines, just like Wraith did.

Gabriel cared about him—cared about him enough to keep him alive for ten years. Gabriel loved him. Maybe not the way Wraith loved Gabriel, but it was love all the same. Wraith had seen it in his eyes.

Gabriel loved everyone who fought for him. It was why he looked so hollow inside every time he had to send one of them to die.

That look in his eyes when Wraith had walked in…

The boiling liquid inside him ate away at his lungs. He couldn’t breathe.

Gabriel loved him.

Which did Gabriel love more—his cause or his followers? His cause or Wraith? No one can care about both equally.

Both. He loved both. It was what made him who he was.

There always comes a moment when someone has to choose.

He opened his eyes.

Isadora was still staring at him. She hadn’t moved an inch.

“Now tell me again,” she said, “was it your idea to be captured in his place?”

She held up the knife. Blood dripped down the blade, onto the hilt, and over her clenched fingers.

If Wraith opened his mouth, that boiling liquid might come pouring out, and all his screams along with it. But he parted his lips, and he didn’t scream. “No,” he said, his voice strangely calm. “It wasn’t.”

---

Tagged: @straight-to-the-pain @soheavyaburden @gala1981 @whumpacabra @sacredwrath @suspicious-whumping-egg @sonder35 @decahedron-crabclaw @seasaltandcopper @tremendousenemyhideout @bloodinkandashes @whumplr-reader @whatiswhumpblog @delicateprincepaper

Ask to be added or remove from taglist.

[bevswashere]

Koi No Yokan

Juju Stroll: Anything

yes that is kakashi. yes you are still reading the right book.

"You're going to break that poor boy."

"They're cute when they get all antsy."

Satoru is busy help looking at Kaede's full plate. Each time she attempted to take a bite, she'd only give up halfway through. For the past few days, she'd been distant, quieter than normal. "You haven't eaten much."

"I guess I'm not as hungry as I thought." She's not good at hiding her feelings, though. She never has been. Ever hint of happiness, sadness, or anger, is written across her face. It's one of the things Satoru loves most about her—the bleeding heart. It takes a different kind of strength to care so much about strangers, he thought. 

Ichiro returns with a plattered cake. "Grandmother told me to bring this out for you."

It's clear Shoko's drunk, "What about your break, Ichiro-kun?"

"It's better if I keep working. I wouldn't want grandmother to notice the missing sake before it's replaced."

"Alright. I suppose that means I have to come back another time by myself." 

Ichiro exerts all his focus keeping his hands steady to set the cake down. He lights the candles and everyone begins to sing. "Happy birthday, dear Kaede! Happy birthday to you!"

They're done, but her eyes are still aimlessly fixed to the table. Satoru doesn't like the glances everyone exchanges, like this is just something normal. "Kaede." 

"Huh?"

"The candle."

Kaede pretends like nothing is wrong, blowing out the candles. They all pretend like nothing is wrong, cheering for her. 

She stands up. "You guys dig in. I'm going to get some air." 

"Okay. Don't stay out too long, though. You'll get cold," Mariko says. The moment the bell of the front door chimes, however, she lowers her voice. "Maybe one of us should go with her. If she zones out again she might get lost." 

"Let her get some air," Shoko says. "That private school mission must have really done a number on her."

"What do you mean, Ieri-chan?"

"There were six hostages," Shoko reveals. "Students that died about an hour before she even arrived. Not an easy autopsy, and that's coming from me."

Many deep sighs are released at the table, but Satoru is particularly frustrated that Shoko is aware of such details and he's not. Why didn't Kaede share these things with him? Why is she always so determined to take on every hardship alone? Wasn't that the point of the promises they made a year ago, to get stronger together? 

"You should check on her, Satoru," Suguru says. "Make sure she's alright."

"Idiot," he scolds himself. Why hadn't he left with her in the first place?

Outside, Kaede's drifted to the edge of the street, hugging herself on a random staircase. Satoru thinks she's crying at first, "You've been gone for a while." 

Her eyes are dry when she lifts her head. Satoru remembers he hasn't seen her cry in some time. Maybe not since Momo-chan. "I lost track of time." 

He sits with her, pushes a hand into her hair. "What's wrong?" 

"Nothing. It was getting stuffy inside."

To say he knows she's lying will end in a fight. "You need a haircut." He wraps his hand around her face, feeling the gauntness of her cheeks. Even her waist feels smaller in his grasp. "And did you lose weight again?" 

"You're so fussy." 

There's too many reservations she holds. Doesn't she know he's the strongest? Does she not think he can handle her burdens too?

"Why? Am I not pretty enough for you like this?"

There's an exhaustion painted over her face, but Satoru still sees the lovely curvature of her nose, the softness of her eyes, the beautiful way he hair drapes along the sides of her face. Saturated in the glow of heavy neon signs, Satoru sees everything he's ever wanted, wrapped in a jacket he knows isn't thick enough. "I'll let you in on this secret since it's your birthday. You are the prettiest girl I know, in the flesh."

"'In the flesh'?"

It brings him joy, seeing her heart distracted from whatever is hurting her, even for a moment. "Being a close second to Inoue Waka is nothing to be ashamed of." 

"I'm leaving now—"

"Wait! I'm just kidding!"

She's pouting. "I'll leave you here to stare at your precious Inoue wallpaper on your phone."

"My wallpaper is a picture of you." For the past year, it's shuffled through photos of the two of them, images of Kaede she was unaware he had taken, and his personal favorites, funny pictures of her sleeping. "Now, who's being fussy?"

He holds her tightly in hopes it's enough to keep her warm. "I adore you, Kaede-chan." 

"I know that."

"Especiallywhen you pout like this."

But she turns away from him, " I just want to be the best for you."

Satoru doesn't understand. If anything felt certain, "You're perfect for me."

"Is that the same as being the best?"

"If you're still talking about us, then yes. Are you still talking about us?"

"I don't know," she holds back—she always does. "It's been a busy week. I suppose I'm lost in thought."

"You did get more assignments than usual. Maybe schedule a vacation period with Yaga."

"There's too many people who need our help to take a break."

"It wouldn't be a problem for me to cover for you while—"

"I'm okay, Satoru."

There's a forlorn look written across her face, though. "Okay." He kisses her forehead. "You know I would do anything for you, right?"

"I know."

"No, Kaede. Anything you asked of me, I would do it. Just ask me."

"Is there... something you want me to ask you?"

"I'm only saying even the most outrageous ideas or plans you can think up, I wouldn't hesitate to follow you in them."

"Even if it were wrong?"

Even he can't be sure he fully means what he says, but at the very least he wanted her to be honest with him, "Anything."

"Tell me you can't do this anymore and we'll stop. Tell me to give up everything, my name, Jujutsu, everything. I think I could do that for you. I'm strong enough."

He never said it. They are the strongest, that's who they've always been meant to become. Walking away would be selfish, something impossible for Kaede. She could never walk away knowing kids are dying.

"If anything comes up... I'll ask."

"Hey, lovebirds!" Mariko waves us over. "We thought you went home!"

The two rise from their seats immediately, rejoining the group with renewed spirits.

"Very clever of you, Kaede-chan," Mariko links their arms, "Leaving before you have to pay your share of the bill!"

"I was going to come back, but Satoru and I were in the middle of a very serious argument."

"Really? About what?"

"He says Inoue Waka is the most beautiful woman he's seen."

"What?!" Mariko looks over her shoulder with a piercing glare , "Gojo-san! How could you say that to our beautiful Kaede-chan! Have you hit your head too many times?!"

"It's okay, Mariko."

"Seriously?" she's taken aback. "I was ready to kick his ass for you."

"Seriously. I've decided Inoue Waka can be Satoru's perfect woman. After all, I've decided on my perfect man."

"You did?" Mariko says.

More vehemently, Satoru chimes in from behind, "You did?"

"I did," Kaede says proudly, "Hatake Kakashi."

"WHAT THE HELL?" Satoru roars. "That white-haired piece of shit?! I should have never lent you that manga!"

Kaede manages to giggle. "I guess I have thing for white-haired pieces of shit."

[arotechno]

O. basilicum, part x

Whenever Frida was occupied with other business, it became Basil’s job to keep watch over Ace, one which he took rather seriously, if reluctantly. After all, it was one thing to miss a person. It was quite another to have him drop abruptly back into your life, bleeding and nearly-dead. It wasn’t exactly the ideal circumstances for a reunion.

Fortunately or unfortunately, Ace spent most of his time sleeping. When he wasn’t, he mostly just lay there quietly. He had always been the less outgoing of the two of them, always trailing behind and keeping everyone else in town at arm’s length. But around Basil, once they’d revealed their secret to each other, Ace had always opened up like a flower at the first sign of spring. Now, the silence felt oppressive. If Basil let it drag on long enough, his mind would drift back to all the things that frightened him. So he kept himself talking, even if Ace was barely keeping his eyes open.

“You would like the community garden,” he said. “I’ll show it to you soon. Maybe once you’re— you’re not listening at all, are you?”

“I am,” Ace insisted. He regarded Basil wearily from across the room, green eyes bloodshot and drooping. Basil wondered if he had looked that bad when he’d first arrived in Verdigris. Knowing how bruised and malnourished he’d been—and how small—he must have looked even worse.

What a terrible image.

Ace didn’t seem frightened, though. He never shied away from Frida or Basil. Instead, he only seemed to regard the situation with resignation. On a few occasions, Basil caught him staring straight ahead with a hardened expression, but he always dropped it the moment he noticed Basil enter the room.

Basil sighed.

“You really could have died, you know. It’s a miracle your lungs weren’t punctured.”

“I know.”

“Do you… want to talk about what happened?”

Ace slid his gaze away from Basil.

“No.”

Basil didn’t push him to talk. He briefly considered telling Ace everything, but then thought better of it.

“You’re lucky,” he said instead.

Ace barked out a laugh and then coughed weakly, staring at the ceiling.

“I’m serious. Most people wouldn’t survive a wound like that. We’re both lucky you did.”

“I don’t feel lucky,” Ace muttered.

Basil frowned. He stretched out his leg and the muscles twinged with the motion. Wincing, he rubbed at his knee.

“Well, whatever happened, you’ll be safe here,” he said. “I know Frida already told you that. But it’s nothing like Amistadia out here.”

Ace gave him an odd look. Then he turned away again, expression strangely wistful, laying a hand over his chest.

“You don’t know that,” he said softly.

Basil didn’t reply. He wasn’t sure what he should say. He wanted to grab Ace by the shoulders and shout at him, wished he could project eight years directly into his brain like a beam of heavenly light. He wanted to take his pale, clammy face between his palms and cry out, don’t you know we never deserved it? Don’t you know it was never true? Don’t you understand that this is what real acceptance and safety feels like?

But it didn’t seem proper. So, Basil said nothing.

“It’s not so bad,” Ace said. He shut his eyes and settled down into the blankets. “Amistadia.”

“What?” said Basil, but Ace had already drifted off. That tended to be the way their conversations went these last few days—he would stay awake for brief periods at a time, mostly listening to Basil run his mouth, only to fall asleep mid-way through a thought. Basil let out a sigh and rubbed at his eyes with the backs of his hands.

Sometimes, when he looked at Ace, all Basil could see was the child he’d once been, eyes blown wide with terror as he’d looked on from afar that day so many years ago. The boy that lay before him now was bigger and taller, with lean muscle that had to have come from years of archery practice. But though they were hardened now, those eyes were much the same. When Ace had opened them like a haunted corpse that first day, lying half-dead in a pool of his own blood, they had been unmistakable. Time and tide may have worn away much of their youthful innocence, but Basil would recognize those eyes anywhere.

He was ashamed to admit, even in the privacy of his own thoughts, that it frightened him.

*

Basil’s parents were dead.

This should not have been a surprise to him, and, in fact, it wasn’t. Basil had assumed them dead for years, because it had been easier than facing the alternative: that they had moved on without him.

However, when Ace revealed this fact to him, it reopened a jagged wound that had been left to fester for eight long years. Basil had never expected an answer. The reality of it—that they had been killed by the king’s royal guard, for the simple crime of letting Basil live—stung far more than he’d imagined it would. He’d assumed they were dead, yes, but he had never wanted it to be true.

It wasn’t the only thing Ace had told him. Once lucid, he had become somewhat of an open book, spilling to Basil with alarming desperation the path that had led him back home to Swallow’s Point. The path that had led him all the way to the castle, that distant towering spire that only seemed like a mirage to Basil now. The path that had led him to killing the king, avenging their parents’ deaths but sentencing himself to bleed out alone deep in the woods.

The whole thing made Basil’s head swim, made his blood run white-hot and his hands tremble. He wasn’t even certain what he was angry at, only that he’d tried so hard to run from this thing inside him, this guilt and shame he’d tried to escape from for years and years, with limited success, but could never truly shake. He didn’t even know what he was afraid of. That it was all his fault? That they’d come for him again? That this new life, the one he’d so carefully built, would crumble, leaving him with nothing once more?

After all that, Basil couldn’t find it within himself to tell Ace the truth: that the curse had never existed, and it didn’t matter.

He thought it best that Ace figure it out on his own. He felt guilty for the subterfuge anyway.

(As it turned out, Ace already knew, and had been struggling to keep it from Basil as well. They were, after all, both very well versed in keeping secrets. Just never from each other.)

The day Ace had his stitches removed, they set up a cot on the other side of Basil’s room for him, freeing up precious clinic space, should it be needed. Frida promised him a proper bed eventually, but Ace merely laughed awkwardly and waved the offer off.

Basil felt strangely embarrassed by the whole affair, surrounded by the humble array of possessions he’d amassed over eight years, while Ace occupied a corner of the room with his small cot and only a few hand-me-down shirts from the neighbors and a cloak to his name. He still had a quiver of arrows, but no bow. (Ann had offered to find him a replacement once he could shoot without ripping open a hole in his chest, but Ace had gone a little bit green at the suggestion. That made sense in retrospect, knowing what he’d done.)

The tension between them had eased substantially ever since they cleared the air regarding all that had transpired, but at times like this Basil still felt like Ace was the ghost he’d once assumed, passing through like a whisper until he was gone. If Basil so much as blinked, Ace would disappear again, fallen to some other sword, some other cruel twist of fate.

Basil was, by necessity, a stubborn optimist. But it didn’t stop the fear from strangling him from time to time, even still.

“Basil,” Ace said. “Basil. Hey.”

With a gasp, Basil jolted awake, hands wound tight around his quilt. The room was pitch black, the howling wind outside heralding the season’s first snowstorm. Basil blinked, willing his eyes to adjust to the darkness. His leg ached something fierce, and he curled in around himself with a stifled groan.

“Basil. Are you okay?”

Something touched Basil’s arm, and he flinched. The hand quickly withdrew.

“Sorry,” Ace said.

“Careful,” Basil coughed out. “I’ve been known to hit.”

(It was true—he had lashed out and smacked Frida once while coming out of a nightmare—but since he was twelve at the time and not particularly strong, he hadn’t left a mark.)

“Right, sorry,” Ace said again in a whisper. Basil couldn’t see him in the dark, but he could sense him there, just beside the bed. “Nightmare?”

“Hush,” Basil said. “Frida doesn’t know I still have them.”

“Why not?”

“She worries.” Basil shook out his hands. “You know how she gets.”

“Right.” Ace paused. “I have them too, you know. Always have, off and on.”

“Really?”

“Oh, yeah. Bertrand—the potion master I live with, you remember—I woke him more than once absolutely screaming.”

Basil took note of the use of present tense—live, he’d said—and breathed through a wave of nausea that passed over him.

“What— Can I ask— What are they about?”

“Well… You, mostly,” Ace confessed, the hint of a smile in his voice. “I never stopped wondering where you were, if you’d lived. What I could’ve done. Should’ve done.”

“You were ten years old, Ace.”

“So were you. You wanted me to run, I could tell. I shouldn’t have listened.”

“You couldn’t have done anything. I just didn’t want them to hurt you.”

Ace huffed. “You’re a better person than me, Basil. Always were.”

“Don’t talk like that,” Basil choked out, wrapping himself around his knees while the storm raged on outside.

“Why not? Basil, I killed a man.”

“He deserved it,” Basil shot back, briefly startled by the vitriol in his own voice.

“I don’t care,” Ace said, unfazed. “What good is petty revenge? I’ll bet you they’ve already crowned another. So what’s it matter?”

“I’m not what you think I am,” Basil said, blinking away tears. “I did this to us, Ace. None of this would have happened if I’d been a little more careful like I was told.”

“Scoot over.” The mattress dipped when Ace sat down, still unseen in the dark. “It’s not your fault. They were stupid kids just like us, cruel because they didn’t understand. That’s what you told me, remember? It was just a cruel lie. You didn’t deserve it. Neither of us did.”

“I know,” Basil whispered. A sob bubbled up out of his throat before he could squash it.

“Hey, you’re alright. It’s okay.”

“It’s just— Sometimes I get so angry, and it terrifies me. I don’t even know why I’m so mad. It’s like…”

“Like being strangled from the inside? By something you can’t control?”

“Yeah,” Basil said, sniffling. “Yeah, that’s exactly it.”

“C’mere,” Ace said softly, and before he could move, Basil launched forward in the direction of Ace’s voice. His arms found purchase around Ace’s back, and he clung tight, weeping, while Ace wrapped him in a hug in turn. He chose not to comment on the way Ace was trembling, just slightly, and if Ace noticed the same, he said nothing.

They stayed like that, in the dark while the wind rattled the windowpane, squeezing one another tight until all the pain was gone.

[theogarachnophobe]

Just the Way Things Grow Chapter 1 part 1

A gay male weight gain story

Preview: When a guy wakes up some place unexpected, his best friend shows up to make sure things change between themBy: overgrownmassiveprince (tumblr)/Arachnophobe (original grommr name)/ Gainerboy 3 (bellybuilders)

Chapter 1

Oh shit, I think to myself, It’s dark in here.

Wait… where is here?

I try to move but something is holding me down. Is something holding me down? I try to turn my head, but I can’t tell if I’m moving. I open my mouth to try to speak but nothing comes out. It feels like cotton is in my mouth. I try to think back.

Where was I last?

What is going on?

Why can’t I move?

Think.

Think.

Think.

Ethan.

The last thing I remember is Ethan. I worked yesterday, or today, or whenever it was. I got up, Ethan said he was staying home from work. Said he had something to do at home. Mr. Pharmaceutical Rep always had things to do at home lately. I swear that shed he had installed was some kind of top secret spaceship. One day there was a nice plush yard and then the next day we had what could only be described as some kind of tornado, Doomsday bunker installed. “Don’t worry about it,” Ethan said being all coy and suave, “It’s just a place to store some of the prototypes for something the company is working for.”

Over the last few months, Ethan seemed to be out there…

NO! WHAT IS THE LAST THING I REMEMBER?!

Ethan

I worked, Ethan was home, he texted me to go to the gym, that he would meet me there. When I get there, he’s leaning against his car. He is wearing really big clothes. Must be a cardio day, I remember thinking. He tosses me a small shake. Much smaller than what he usually makes me. I make a face. He laughs and says, “Trust me.” I drank it. Chugged it. It tasted good. I can still taste it in my mouth, I struggle to remember.

I drink. He tells me to go get something.

What did I get? Should I call for help?

I open my mouth. I think I do, but nothing comes out. I can feel myself grunting, but then I realize I barely hear myself. It’s like everything is dull.

I try to move my fingers but I can’t. I can’t turn my head.

It’s so dark in here. Why is cold?

I remember getting to Ethan’s car, and bending over into the back seat.

That’s it. I can’t remember what happened next.

Oh, God, I’m dead. I’m dead or dying and I can’t move. We got jumped by someone.

OH SHIT! ETHAN!

I try to scream out again. This time whatever is wrong with me is wearing off. I can hear myself grunting and groaning. I’m not making words. My mouth isn’t opening. I’m not moving my body.

I’m paralyzed! Something happened and

I’m…

“Hey,” comes a voice out of the dark.

“You’re okay.”

I feel a tear come out of the corner of my eyes. It’s warm on my skin. I feel another pour out of my other eye. It’s Ethan. He’s here.

“Don’t try to move, buddy,” Ethan soothes in the dark, “You’ll be able to move soon enough. You just gotta relax. Okay?”

I try to talk but I can’t. I can’t speak.

FUCK, ETHAN! WHAT’S GOING ON? WHERE ARE WE? ARE WE OKAY? ARE YOU OKAY?

I am screaming in my head. I need answers, I have to have answers, I need…

The room brightens a little bit. There is a single bulb in a metal can above my head. It looks industrial. It’s dim but it’s getting brighter. I move my eyes but can’t see any windows or other light. I can’t even move my head. I can just look down the length of my face because I’m lying down. I can’t see anything past the stubble on my cheeks or beyond my nose. My eyes are darting around and I can feel my breathing speed up.

I’m stuck. I’m trapped. Ethan is probably stuck too. I have to figure something out.

And then over walks Ethan.

He looks big. Bigger than usual. More ripped, more muscular. His veins are standing out, and he looks so very sexy. And he’s naked.

My breathing is speeding up for a lot of reasons now. His dick is soft but hangs low. His balls are hidden behind a mound of hair and I swear to all things holy that he never looked this hairy before. His stubble from earlier is a full on beard now. But he’s walking around, and he’s… HE’S NAKED!

WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?!

[aminiatureworld]

Interest II

Characters: Kaeya, Xiao, gn!reader

Word Count: 3,020

Warnings: Swearing

Premise: Sometimes emotions can be confusing. In those times it can be easier to shut down. After all, wouldn’t finding the truth out be scarier?

In which the reader assumes their character is disinterested, and pulls away.

Author’s Note: I wrote a lot tonight! It was nice to write for multiple characters again, made me feel like the good old days, or something. 

Hope I’m finally getting back on schedule and hope you enjoy!

Kaeya

If Kaeya flirted with you, he also flirted with all of Mondstadt; or so you kept telling yourself.

You liked the cavalry captain, you liked him a lot. It was easy to like him, as easy as breathing air. The thickets of romance, the awkward looks, the stilted conversations, the dying words. None of those things existed in Kaeya.

If there were roses there were thorns too, and though you tried to convince yourself that this emotion, this easiness was something good, there was a part of you that fought back at the idea. The reason things were so easy with Kaeya was because of one simple reason. He didn’t like you. Or not the way you liked him. Kaeya flirted with all of Mondstadt after all, and you were merely one library assistant in the middle of an entire country. Your existence wasn’t one for the history books. Not compared to the man that you’d managed to fall hopelessly in love with anyways.

At first you tried to ignore those voices, that cynical side of yourself that existed only, it seemed, to make you unhappy. You weren’t necessarily an optimist by nature, but you were a bit of a hopeless romantic, and flirting or not you at least hoped to get your point across. Delivering Kaeya’s library requests first, always going up to him at lunchtime to talk, even giving him a special gift for the Windbloom festival. You really did try, you didn’t think that the opposite could be argued. Still things continued on as relatively normal however, Kaeya’s flirting never seeming to grow particularly towards you. Eventually it became harder and harder to avoid the voice in your head sneering you were wasting your time. Or maybe you were just tired.

Either way the answer seemed to be obvious. You knew when the answer was to count your losses and move on, and surely this was one of those times. Kaeya wasn’t going to see you as a partner, he just wasn’t. That didn’t mean he wasn’t kind, or that your conversations with him weren’t lovely, or even that you weren’t still in love with him. Still, wasn’t it time to move on to kinder winds? You wanted a clean break, wanted an end to your painful waiting; didn’t want to experience that clench in your heart when you watched Kaeya flirting with someone else as the point just drove further and further home. You wanted reprieve, and the only way to do that was to admit the obvious. This wasn’t going to happen.

So you gave up, or did your best attempt at giving up. You still spoke to Kaeya, the gods knew you probably couldn’t stand not speaking to him. You still tried to keep as light as before, tried to retain the dynamic, for something was better than nothing. Yet your days of simply chasing after him were over, and as you settled into you schedule of new normalcy you found, though things weren’t necessarily easier, at least they seemed simpler. Besides, how much had really changed? Kaeya most likely didn’t notice.

“Kaeya, the manuscript you requested on Liyue trade history came in yesterday. There were also a few other things that came in, though Lisa told me they’re classified.”

“Oh Lisa, always a stickler for rules. Would you like to know what I requested?”

“Like you would actually tell me,” you snorted. “No, I’m fine. It’s none of my business.”

“Aw,” Kaeya pouted slightly, crossing his arms in front of him. He seemed to be doing that more often these days, though maybe you were simply imagining it. “Where’s your sense of adventure darling? You seemed to have lost it somewhere.”

“I’m just following rules,” you pointed out.

Something had shifted about the conversation at some point, and you were suddenly feeling an undercurrent that hadn’t been there before. Finding it uncomfortable you quickly removed the space between you and Kaeya, reaching out to place the brown paper wrapped books into his hands. Taking them Kaeya lifted an eyebrow. Turning around he went to put them on his desk.

The momentary reprieve in atmosphere you felt quickly died, as before you had time to turn around the cavalry captain was back, this time leaning closely towards you.

“What is it?” You asked. This was certainly Kaeya behavior, but it still startled you nonetheless.

“You’re acting funny.”

“What? I’m acting completely normal.”

“If you say so.”

But the tone conveyed that Kaeya didn’t agree one bit. A smirk painting his lips he turned around, though something bitter seemed to flash behind his eyes, and for a moment you wondered if he had somehow caught on to the secret you’d been hoping to keep to yourself.

After that things seemed to continue on as normal for a few weeks. If Kaeya’s books were secretly transgressive, they certainly weren’t doing anything actively, and life as an assistant librarian to the Knights of Favonius retained its languid, unhurried pace. Still a part of you had never forgotten about that weird snippet of conversation, one which was doing a surprisingly good job at eating away at you.

You were almost relieved when Kaeya brought the matter up again.

“Is something wrong darling?”

“You asked me that two weeks ago Kaeya.”

“Really? It’s been that long? I must be neglecting my duties,” he let out a careless sort of laugh, before his eyes steadied. “I was hoping that this time I might get a more honest answer.”

“So you think I’m lying to you when I’m saying nothing’s wrong?”

“Yes.”

“But I’m not! How could I be lying to both you and myself.”

“I find that doing such a thing is a surprisingly easy task. Nevertheless, even if you aren’t lying, there is something wrong.”

“And what would that thing be, Mr. Expert?” For some reason this conversation was aggravating you. Maybe because you couldn’t decide whether or not he was right.

“I don’t know, I was hoping you could tell me. I can’t say sorry for something I’m not aware of, I don’t know what I did. You do though. So the sooner you tell me what’s wrong the sooner things can go back to normal.”

“What do you mean by normal Kaeya? If anything this is more normal. Not that things have changed that much. I’m sorry I don’t deliver your books first, if that’s what you’re complaining about. But frankly, I don’t see what you’re so upset about? You’ve got plenty of other friends, so why are you complaining to me?”

Maybe it wasn’t your best use of logic, but your ability to circle around the focus of the conversation, the unspoken emotions that still burned through you, was somewhat lacking.

“This is not normal. I’m not talking about library books, I’m talking about friends. Or maybe avoidance. You’ve been avoiding me lately, even if you aren’t doing it completely. It wounds me, you know. My dearest companion, what did I do to earn their ire?”

“You did nothing.”

“That’s obviously a lie.”

“It’s not.”

“It is,” Kaeya voice was clipped, matching your same tone. Even now he was shifting himself to better fit the atmosphere in the room, something you normally valued so deeply.

“It’s not. It’s really not! That’s the problem Kaeya, don’t you see?” Tears that had threated the corners of your eyes were now burning across your vision, as your emotions finally broke through the paltry excuse for a dam you’d been building. “You’ve done nothing, you’ve never done anything. You’re always nice, and flirty, and a bit shameless. And that’s fine! It’s not your fault that you don’t feel like I feel for you. I don’t want to make you feel guilty. You flirt with everyone, and that’s fine. I don’t care! I really don’t. I don’t want to burden you. Still, can’t you just let me feel upset by it? Can’t you just let me give up? Do you know how painful it is not to give up? Why won’t you let me at least do that, but no! Instead you come in here talking about how everything’s different, as if I’ve offended you, or as if you worry would change anything. Of course it won’t! And it shouldn’t! But damn it Kaeya, I just want to be upset!”

By this time Kaeya had closed the space between you two, wrapping his arms around you and running soft, slightly cool, fingers through your hair. You nestled into him, despite yourself. You were so tired and so angry, and right now it didn’t really seem to matter who you cried on as long as you were crying on someone. Letting yourself be carried away by your emotions you let your ragged breathing unleash itself inside the walls of Kaeya’s office.

Eventually you calmed down. Though you expected Kaeya to step away when your breathing evened out, instead he remained there, continuing to run comforting fingers though you hair, his other hand gently cradling your shoulder.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t realize that was the reason.” It was simple, direct. Undeniably Kaeya.

“What else would be the reason,” you grumbled.

“I don’t know. It’s why I asked. Thank you for answering me.”

“You forced me into it.” There was no true venom behind your words. You were sure Kaeya knew that.

“Is there anything you want to tell me?”

“No.”

“Not yet?”

You shook your head. “Not yet.”

“That’s alright. Now’s not the best time anyways, since I ought to look my best. Not that I don’t look amazing already, but I should dress up for an occasion such as that. Still, I hope that eventually you’ll allow yourself to live in a way that doesn’t make you unhappy. Sometimes we can’t do that. This time you can.”

“Maybe.”

“Good. I’ll be waiting for you darling, and you know how impatient I am.”

“What if you have to wait for a long time?” You were feeling quite contrary.

“Then I’ll wait. After all, I’ll have quite the reward for my patience.”

You smiled into Kaeya. Despite yourself, you knew it wouldn’t be that long.

 Xiao

With Xiao, the question was always boundaries. How far is too far? How far is not far enough? It was an endless maze, even if it was a maze you would gladly continue to explore, sure that the light at the end must lead to something truly beautiful. Still, you didn’t exactly need your emotions to come in and complicate something already so difficult to navigate.

At first you tired to ignore, to take a page from the book the yaksha you’d so hopelessly fallen for had written. Yet if was much harder than it ought to be, for loving Xiao seemed to come as naturally as breathing, and no amount of looking for faults seemed to be doing much to change that. After all, everyone has faults, and nothing could change the innate goodness you saw in Xiao, the wonder and light that he carried with him, despite his millennia of hardships.

At first you thought to tell him, to cross that border, find that boundary and test it with all the patience it had taken to test and cross those other boundaries.

“Xiao?”

“Mmm.”

“I, I have something to tell you.”

“What?”

“I, I made you some Almond Tofu!”

Xiao let his eyes widen with characteristic surprise, before leaping down nimbly from his perch to take the dish you brought out from behind your back. You watched as he ate it happily, warmth running through your veins. Nevertheless a part of you cried in frustration, perhaps even pain, for you knew you had failed to do what you had set out to do.

It wasn’t simply that you feared losing Xiao’s friendship, feared losing his respect. It was the boundaries, those invisible lines you were so careful not to step over. Xiao needed those boundaries, you knew he did. Though he had told you very little about his past, what he had told was horrific, and you hardly doubted that Xiao’s survival, his failure to spin into madness, was because of those walls he’d carefully constructed around himself. You wanted him to shed those walls yes, to slowly emerge from the darkness which he held around himself. But you weren’t ready to push him to do so, or not very much at least. It wasn’t truly in your nature to do so anyways.

So you expressed your feelings as best you could, with tofu and flowers and all the kindness you had to offer. When you weren’t working, spending your time sewing for a high-end Liyue shop, you were with Xiao. A part of you assumed that it would be enough, that if you gave Xiao enough of your time and enough of your attention the barriers would magically break down. One day you’d wake up and they’d be gone and you’d be happy, having never pushed things too far.

As nothing truly seemed to change however you grew slowly discouraged. You weren’t really aware of your flagging hopes, not really. It was more that you were busy, you were so busy. Besides, Xiao hadn’t expressed much sadness over losing your company. Perhaps he was secretly relieved, perhaps you had pushed too far at some point and he hadn’t told you. Maybe it was best that you give his boundaries time, and not push it too far.

Even looking back it was hard not to call the logic sound, or at least sound to you. In some ways you and Xiao were cut of the same cloth, and though that brought with it an understanding, it also brought its own set of issues. Neither of you were willing to walk over the line that the other drew, even if you could not see where they had actually drawn it. Even if not doing so was painful, the fear of what pain might come if you did was too great a discouragement.

So you began to slowly fade away, without being entirely aware that you were indeed doing so. You were busy after all, and Xioa was most likely too. He was still a yaksha after all, a being whose life was almost completely disconnected from your own. Surely it wouldn’t be that surprising if his views were similar? Maybe you truly had crossed a line, and that was why he never seemed to enquire after you. Or maybe it was that you hadn’t mattered all that much in the first place.

It was a wet, cold autumn day. You sighed slightly as you unlocked your door, having gotten drenched by protecting a bold of fabric you were bringing home to cut and pin. Letting out a huff, you opened the door and went to take a nap. You must’ve been tired, for it took a few seconds for the screech of surprise to leave you mouth at the sight of the unexpected intruder waiting for you.

“Xiao! You scared me!”

You stared at the yaksha, very much surprised by the sight of him. Your surprise had very little time to register though, being quickly replaced by concern for the storm so clearly gathering in Xiao’s eyes.

“You were gone for so long.”

“I’m sorry Xiao. It’s just been so busy you know, everyone’s preparing for the change in season. Besides…”

“Besides?”

“I didn’t want to bother you. I mean, I know you also have a job, and though I want you to find happiness outside of it, I don’t want to pressure you.”

Xiao’s facial expressions evidently conveyed that he was not impressed. Searching for the right words you let your gaze drift towards the floor. You weren’t sure that you were ever going to be ready for a conversation like this, but certainly not in the state you were now. Still, you owed Xiao some sort of explanation. Of course you did.

“I’m really sorry Xiao. I should have found time for you. It’s completely my fault.”

“That’s not what I want.” Xiao’s tone was gruff, frustrated. You found the frustration mirrored within yourself.

“What do you want?”

“I,” Xiao flushed. “I don’t want you to apologize. I’m not blaming you for anything. You shouldn’t apologize for nothing.”

“Sorry,” you mumbled.

Xiao shook his head. For a moment he just stood there, eyes stormy. Slowly though he reached out to take your hand. You found the act surprisingly comforting. You had missed Xiao’s hands, delicately built, calloused beyond believe. They felt comforting and warm and safe, and you wished you could never let go of them. Drawing strength from that you slowly raised your gaze slightly.

“What do you want, Xiao?”

At first Xiao said nothing. Perhaps he was staring at a line, contemplating whether to cross it. You had half the mind to apologize again, but managed to stop the words from coming out. You knew that it was just a force of habit. Besides, Xiao hadn’t said anything yet. A small spark of hope burned inside you, the hope that something might go well.

There was a gentle tug on your wrist and suddenly you were in Xiao’s arms, his hair gently tickling your nose.

“This,” he mumbled. “I want this.”

For a moment you felt yourself freeze in shock, but soon enough you found yourself melting into his embrace, wrapping your own arms around him. Xiao was warm like a heater, warm beyond that too. It was as if there was something in his soul. Gentle, flickering, it brought you happiness that you never thought you could imagine. You wanted to bask in it forever, it was worth any twists and turns you might have to take to reach it.

“Don’t disappear again.”

“I won’t.”

“I should have come earlier.”

“It’s alright. Hey, Xiao?”

“What?” Xiao’s arms tightened around you slightly. You didn’t want to talk much more either.

“What do you think of me?”

Xiao let out a soft snort. “I thought that was pretty obvious.”

“What?”

“I love you.”

It was more than you could have ever hoped for.

[bonky-n-steeb]

𝑇𝐻𝐸 𝐿𝐼𝑉𝐼𝑁𝐺 𝐻𝐸𝐴𝑅𝑇

𝙃𝙐𝙉𝙏𝙀𝙍! 𝘽𝙐𝘾𝙆𝙔 𝘽𝘼𝙍𝙉𝙀𝙎 𝙓 𝙑𝘼𝙈𝙋𝙄𝙍𝙀! 𝙍𝙀𝘼𝘿𝙀𝙍

𝗦𝗨𝗠𝗠𝗔𝗥𝗬: Bucky and you have loved each other for as long as you can remember, but being who you are, your love story is impossible.

𝗪𝗔𝗥𝗡𝗜𝗡𝗚𝗦: Unprotected sex, blood drinking, sex in a forest..? (Boy, they must be cold). PWP (porn with a very little plot... wait who am I lying to? It’s porn.) 𝙈𝙄𝙉𝙊𝙍𝙎 𝙋𝙇𝙀𝘼𝙎𝙀 𝘿𝙉𝙄!

For my sake, your sake, your mom’s sake and for the betterment of the entire world, if you are a minor, please do not read this!🔞

ɴᴏᴛ ʙᴇᴛᴀ ʀᴇᴀᴅ, ᴀʟʟ ᴍɪsᴛᴀᴋᴇs ᴀʀᴇ ᴍɪɴᴇ

Guys, I’ve fallen down the hole of smut and can’t get up, so please come pick me, or maybe don’t 🥺😉 I hope you guys like this..!

Your eyes wandered as you took in the beauty of the forest in the dark. The scent of the wet soil below was filling your lungs and the melodic sound of the meek creatures of the night was being absorbed by your ears.

Taking a walk at night was a ritual of yours. Being a vampire limited your abilities to roam in the morning, so you took the liberty of wandering around in the peace of the night.

Due to your unnaturally long existence, you had seen a lot of this world. Not just places, but people too. Some days you had enjoyed the luxuries of castles while some days you had spent huddled up in a cottage, hiding from the people hunting you.

No matter how easy life was living in the cities with access to all amenities, but the ethereal peace the forest brought along was unparalleled. And that’s where you were, tucked away from the noise of the city and into the embrace of the nature.

It had been a few years now from purchasing the lone cabin in the forest. In the beginning you had wondered how long you would stay here until someone caught up to you, and you still did.

Just as that thought occurred to you, as if on cue, you heard twigs snapping right behind you. Quickly turning around, you scanned the forest. Your eyes unnaturally sharp in the dark.

From the corner of your eye, you still could see your cottage. It wasn’t that far for you to sprint to it. You had a gun kept in there for emergencies. If this was some Hunter or any other creature trying to jeopardise your life, you weren’t going to go down without a fight.

But before you could act on your thoughts, a known and inviting scent hit you. You inhaled sharply as a smile spread across your face. He had finally come for you. The only man you ever trusted, Bucky.

You would recognise his scent whenever or however you were. You couldn’t see him though, no matter how much you strained your eyes.

You knew what he was doing. He was chasing you like a hunter chasing his prey. Hiding in the corner at first like a predator, only to pounce when the prey falls into the trap.

He was stealthy, but the blood running in his veins and distinct human smell gave him away. You followed the trail blindly, trusting him, just like you had a hundred times before.

You walked with light footsteps on the soft dirt, so as to not give away your location. This hide and seek was your foreplay. And it excited you more than anything else.

When you reached the place where his scent was dense, your first instinct was to inhale it. The musky and earthy scent, the very proof of him being alive, pulled you towards him.

But before you could ponder further, you were pushed hard against the bark of a tree. Your first instinct was to bare your fangs, but when you realised who it was, you let out a loud exhale.

Bucky had you pinned up against the tree, quick enough to surprise you, but not hard enough to hurt. He pressed his own body to your back and mitigated your movements further by holding your hands at your sides.

With his body pressed up against your back, you could feel his own noticeable bulge rubbing against your ass. You weren’t the only one excited by this chase.

“Hasn’t anyone told you that a sweet dove like you shouldn’t be roaming out in the dark.” His husky voice turned you on even more. His beard brushing your cheek only amplified your arousal.

“You’re forgetting that I’m the thing people are afraid of in the dark.” You retorted back with a snarl. He chuckled at that letting go of your hands, only to curl his arms around you, lovingly.

His demeanour changed quickly from a rough predator to a sweet lover. Though you were still at his mercy, you were now in his embrace, safe from the entire world.

You almost wanted to laugh at this irony. A vampire feeling safe in the arms of a hunter. It was like a deer feeling safe with a tiger. Though you weren’t sure who was the tiger between you two.

You couldn’t help but swoon as he pressed kisses to your throat and cheek. It was his way of telling that he missed you. Though he would never put the sentiment into words, just like you.

Your eyes met each other under the moonlight and just like the first time, you wanted to drown in those steel blue pools. You both didn’t move from your positions as you continued staring.

Your lips were utterly close to each other and neither of you moved yet. Your eyes were conveying the emotions you weren’t able to speak. Or maybe your love was powerful enough that it didn’t need words.

You both knew you loved each other. You always had and you always would. But if either of you went public with this relation, neither the vampires nor the hunters would be pleased. And you weren’t ready to lose your friends or start a war.

You had kept this secret for decades if not centuries, you would keep it a little more. This is how it always had been, Bucky would visit you out of the blue and you would have the best sex ever and then again part ways.

Bucky was the first one to move. He darted his tongue out and slowly, sensually licked your bottom lip, while still looking you dead in the eye the entire time.

You closed the gap between you two and smashed your lips together. You licked his chapped lips as he suckled yours. You titled your head to prevent your noses from clashing.

Still not breaking the kiss, you deftly turned around to face him. Placing your hands around his neck, you pulled him closer.

Falling prey to your instincts, you couldn’t help but pierce his bottom lip with your fangs. Just enough to get small rivulets of blood flow into your mouth.

You moaned the moment his blood as sweet as nectar touched your tongue. You had drank from many people, but none tasted like Bucky.

Using your strength and agility, you swiftly switched your positions around, so that now his back was against the tree. You finally broke the kiss as he panted for air.

“Much too late aren’t we, this time?” You skeptically asked him. You had been waiting for him for months. No doubt you were glad for his safe return, but you were going to get the retribution for all the days you had spent worrying about him.

“I was a little busy doll.” He said giving his signature smirk. You were sure he must’ve been out there hunting your kind. But you snapped out of it before the guilt got too much.

“But now you have me, all to yourself.” He said leaning in for another kiss. This was where he was wrong. You would never have him. He would never be completely yours.

As you began kissing again, you clutched the lapels of his jacket and pulled him down in the soft dirt with you. You both went on your knees and he shifted back so that he could sit with his back pressed against the tree. You crawled ahead and settled in his lap.

Your mouth watered as you took in the delicate skin of his neck stretched over the luscious red blood flowing beneath. His body was so warm, so welcoming, unlike yours. The moonlight was radiating off of him.

You were helpless against your urge to feed on him again. Clutching his short hair in your fingers, you titled his head backwards. Now that you had tasted him, your hunger increased by ten folds.

Wrapping your hand around his neck, you pressed particularly hard around his jugular. Not because you wanted to choke him, but because you wanted to feel the beating of his very living heart.

You licked a long stripe of his exposed neck and his breath hitched at the action. “You like that, don’t you?” You asked as you licked a trail from his cheek to his lips.

You wanted to break the skin near his jugular with your fangs. You wanted to taste the most delicious thing you had ever tasted. You wanted his blood to flow in your veins.

But you knew that if you staved off your hunger for a little more, it would be much more pleasurable for him. Unable to stop yourself from wanting to feel more of his skin, you pushed his jacket back and tore his shirt in half. You definitely felt his cock jerk at that.

As you ground your hips down on his hard on, he clutched your hips hard enough to bruise to stop you from moving further. You knew that though the reins were in your hand, he was in control.

As you sucked and marked his collarbones, you felt his hand sneak in your pants from behind. His fingers first started slowly running through your folds and smearing the wetness.

When he flicked at your clit, you sighed and buried your face in his neck, breathing him in. He teased your entrance for a moment, before finally pushing two fingers in. Your whimpers only fueled him and he started pumping his fingers in earnest.

“All I need to do is fill you up with my fingers and you fucking submit. What a dirty little doll you are.” He snickered. You ground and rubbed your clit against the rough fabric of your pants. He soon felt your walls clenching and he quickly removed his fingers from your heat.

“Fuck Bucky. Please don’t stop!” you grunted at the loss of his fingers. “Remove your pants.” Nodding quickly you both slipped your pants and T-shirt off.

As you both resumed your positions, you dived in for another bruising kiss while rubbing your wet core on his rock hard cock.

Taking his dick in your hand, you pumped it a few times before positioning it right at your entrance. Taking it in inch by inch, you both wailed with satisfaction when you finally took him to the base.

Touching your foreheads, you didn’t move at first, relishing at the fullness. The stretch of his cock as good as the first time. But then you slowly worked yourself up on his dick, only to increase your speed with each thrust.

“Such a slut you are, fucking yourself on my cock like a kitten in heat.” He still wasn’t doing anything except getting mesmerised by the way you moved and the way your core gripped his cock tight.

“Are you gonna do something or...,,.. or just gonna sit there and.... Oh Fuck.” You whined and stopped mid sentence as he thrusted up roughly.

He took your hands that had been scratching his chest and held them tightly against your back. You stopped bouncing on his cock and resorted to just grinding.

Your movements were now restricted as your hands were pinned behind. If you wanted, you would’ve broken free, but in no world you wanted to do that. Holding you firmly, he started rutting up against you.

“Fuck, it... it feels so good.” Your eyes shut close at the sensation and your head fell back. Your moans and whines filled the silent forest. Your legs were covered up in the forest soil as your chest was glistening with sweat. This was downright dirty and primal.

Bucky bent down and licked up a fat stripe of your sweat soaked chest and pressed kisses to your throat. “Mine. You are mine. And I’m yours.” He grunted aloud for the whole forest to here.

“Fuck yes!” You screamed into the night. By now your fangs were out in their full glory. And you were chanting Bucky’s name like a prayer.

“Cum for me doll. Milk my cock. Fuck, just like that.” Hearing his words, your dam broke. Your eyes rolled back as your legs quivered.

Your thoughts had left your mind and the only thing you knew was Bucky as the waves of overwhelming white pleasure overtook you. This was undoubtedly the most powerful orgasm you ever had. You felt warm and alive.

The fact that you were out in the open for anyone to see a vampire fucking a hunter, made you gush with arousal. Bucky grunted loudly and cursed as your walls squeezed him as he kept pounding into you throughout your orgasm.

As the waves of pleasure started subsiding, you looked at his throat and licked your lips. You knew he was close and you also knew what exactly he needed to fall from the edge.

As if reading your thoughts, he bared his throat to you. After every time you had bit him, he had to hide your bite mark. Even though he loved to feed you, the repercussions of someone seeing vampiric bite marks on him were much too severe to ignore.

You simply sucked at his jugular first as his thrusts grew erratic indicating his oncoming orgasm. Finally, finally as you pierced his skin with your fangs, he came deep inside you with a loud grunt.

Red hot fury filled your mouth as his cum filled your pussy. You couldn’t help but moan at the sensation of being so full of him. This, right now was the highest state of bliss you had ever been on.

He was giving and you were taking. His blood to you was like nectar to a honeybee. It was the sweetest ambrosia on earth you could ever taste.

Finally when you had your share, you licked his wound clean and looked up to see him completely disheveled and sated. All this time he had been lovingly rubbing your back to comfort you as you drank his blood. How could you not love this man?

A few droplets of his blood slipped from your mouth, and he shamelessly licked them, collecting them on his tongue and kissed you, rubbing them back in your mouth.

You winced as his cock slipped out. You held him tight as you both laid back on the soil and stared at the night sky. You knew he wouldn’t be there by the morning and then again you would wait for him to come find you.

As you glanced at his face, which was definitely sculpted by the gods, you wanted to plead him to stay. Ask him, or even beg him to be with you, only you. But you didn’t, just like you hadn’t all those times before.

Maybe it was your ego, or maybe it was the knowledge that no matter where he went, he would always come back to you.

[nctsjiho]

Your Fault

warnings: strong language, consumption of alchol, mention of death without actual death, very much angst

era: July 7th 2021

❀ NCT 127's 5th anniversary isn't a day to celebrate and be happy for everyone

To Doyoung:

“Happy 5th anniversary oppa!”

“I hope you and the boys are having a great time <3”

JiHo stared at her phone intently waiting for the “sent” at the bottom of her screen to turn into “read”. She had been staring at her phone like that for nearly an hour, yet nothing changed. The girl knew that the boys were busy, but somewhere she hoped that she’d hear from them. Besides the short “wished you could be with us” message she had received the evening before from Taeyong she hadn’t heard from anyone else. Of course JiHo was aware that the boys were busy, but was it a crime to feel left out and maybe want a phone call or something more than a “wished you could be with us” from anyone?

And so JiHo continued to stare at her phone, everything on the small screen getting progressively more blurry as time went on. Her eyes were straining, one almost pressed shut, the other slowly going cross-side. Her right hand, which wasn’t holding the phone, reached out to the glass bottle on her desk. A quick shake letting her know it was empty. So she reached for the other one, opening it skilfully with one hand – like she did with the other two bottles now empty on her desk – and bringing it up to her lips. “Must be nice hm~ Being an idol or whatever…”

“I’m glad you came over.” Sihyun, JiHo’s Esteem manager that lives with her, said as she grabbed the boy’s coat off his shoulders. The piece of clothing, along with his hair, slightly damp caused by the light drizzle outside. “JiHo’s been a bit sensitive and doesn’t let me in her room. She doesn’t want to talk to me at all.” Jaemin watched the woman’s face full of worry. He gave her a small reassuring smile and then glanced at the door leading to JiHo’s room. “I’ll try to talk to her.” Thanking Jaemin, Sihyun then excused herself, telling him she had to run some late night errands.

Not knowing what was happening behind the closed door of the bedroom, Jaemin knocked a few times. “Unnie~ Just leave me- leave me alone.” JiHo hiccupped between her words, her speech sounding a bit slurred. She had been drinking? JiHo?

Without a second thought Jaemin pushed the door open. A jumbled mess of protests escaped JiHo’s lips, but she froze in her chair as soon as her eyes locked with Jaemin. “What… are you doing here?” She muttered to the best of her abilities. “Coming to check up on you.” He neared the girl and poked at the bottles and the mess on her desk. “Clearly you need it.” His tone sounded very much disappointed and for a split second JiHo felt her heart ache, but she quickly turned defensive. “I do not!”

A sigh escaped deep from Jaemin’s chest and he pulled JiHo to sit on the edge of her bed next to him. “Since when do you drink?” It was quiet for a bit. JiHo looked at the bottle of the alcoholic beverage in her hand, swirling it around by circling her wrist and then started to giggle to herself. “A new hobby?” She turned to Jaemin, a big smile on her lips – however Jaemin could see the sadness behind it easily. “It’s fun. Feeling… Nothing! I can barely feel my… my lips.” Her body swayed from side to side prompting Jaemin to grab her by her shoulders and hold her in place. “It’s fun until you wake up with a hangover tomorrow.” He scoffed. “Can’t get a hangover if I don’t sleep.” She said, before turning to her desk. She then pointed at the box of another 9 bottles of alcohol next to it on the floor. “Or if I don’t stop drinking.” She grinned.

“Yah! What’s wrong with you?” Jaemin’s patience ran dry quickly. He just felt so furious seeing how badly JiHo was treating her own body. She never drank and now she was planning to drink 12 bottles of alcohol? Drinking herself straight into the hospital, and if it weren’t for Jaemin being here, maybe straight into her own grave. “This is strong alcohol! For all I know you can’t even handle it, so what made you decide to drink now huh?” He yelled, anger only rising watching the girl just stare at him with wide, innocent eyes.

Those same eyes turned to look at her laptop, located on the desk she sat at earlier. The NCT 127 online fanmeeting being streamed, muted.

Of course Jaemin knew it was NCT 127’s 5th anniversary, he knew it must’ve affected JiHo in some way, even if she kept insisting she was going to be fine and was happy for the boys. She even said that she wasn’t “part of the group since debut, so it wouldn’t even be my 5th anniversary” and everyone just had to nod and smile.

“Is that a reason to potentially drink yourself to death?” Jaemin poked her side – maybe a bit too harsh – to gain her attention again; she seemed to be zoning out every few seconds. “What else was I supposed to do? I’m tired of keeping things in.” She sneered at him and it was almost as if she didn’t drink anything. She sounded much more coherent than just a minute earlier. “Aren’t you doing just that though? Drinking on your own. Not letting Sihyun noona in? We keep telling you to talk to us, yet all you do is keep things in. The hyungs even took you out to do stuff and get your mind off things yet you get home and do the thing you always do.”

JiHo felt every drop of alcohol leave her system as she heard the somewhat condescending tone in her friend’s voice. “What the fuck? So this is my fault-“ “Kinda, yes! You just sit here feeling sorry for yourself while everyone is worried over you! We’re your friends for a reason JiHo. There are so many people who care for you, just start fucking talking when you feel down like this.”

The blood inside of JiHo’s veins started to boil and at the same time she felt tears pricking behind her eyes. “You think it’s that easy? What am I supposed to say? That I feel upset that I can’t be with 127 now? Okay. Then what about it? Me telling you this won’t change shit!” “At least you should stop lying and stop telling everyone you’re fine when you’re not! Why do you continue keeping things a secret from everyone?” Both JiHo and Jaemin’s chest rose and fell at a rapid pace. “But I guess you’re good at that anyway.” He added in a mumble.

Once the words registered in JiHo’s mind, the bottle that started to hover towards her lips was quickly forgotten. “What do you mean by that?” Jaemin just shrugged his shoulders and turned his gaze away from JiHo. “Jaemin? What do-“ “You were supposed to debut in 2016 with NCT U?” JiHo’s eyes widened and she pushed herself to stand up. “How’d you know-“ “Then they asked you to debut in 127? Also with us… In Dream?” “How do you know?” Was the only thing JiHo could say.

“Does it matter?” Jaemin yelled, standing up as well. “Why do you continue to keep secrets from us? Do you not trust us? Is that why you sit here alone? Drinking and crying alone.” The boy watched as JiHo stood in front of him wordlessly. He could see how his words were affecting her, but he wanted to be selfish for once. He wanted to let JiHo know how frustrating things were for him and his friends. He was well aware of how JiHo had her own worries and hardships, but if she never wanted to confide in anyone, then he was allowed to be mad right?

The only sound filling the room was both of their ragged breathing and the occasional shift from one foot to the other. The silence was almost deafening, a ringing shooting up JiHo’s clouded mind making her feel like she was going to lose it any second now. Her friend sending hurtful glares her way didn’t help ease the growing pain either.

“You’re right. I could’ve debuted in 2016, what about it?” JiHo whispered, afraid that her talking too loud would send surges of pain into her brain. “Why did you hide it from us? Why didn’t you say yes back then?” Jaemin interrogated her. “There was no reason to tell you if it didn’t happen. I didn’t debut so telling you I could’ve wouldn’t change a thing. I’m not in Dream, I didn’t debut in U and clearly now, I’m not in 127 either. Jaemin… It doesn’t matter anymore…” JiHo’s voice stayed as calm as possible.

“How long have you known Jaemin?” JiHo spoke up again as Jaemin didn’t say anything. She felt the tension grow exponentially, the pressure on her body and more noticeably her head increasing and bothering her more as well. “I heard it during that last meeting you had with Yebin noona and Mister Lee Soo Man…” JiHo let out a small chuckle, shaking her head in disbelief. “I guess we’re eavesdropping and keeping secrets from me as well.”

She brought the glass bottle still in her hands to her lips, throwing her head back, to down as much of the liquid as possible. Before she could finish it all in one go, Jaemin gripped the bottle and pulled it away from her. “It’s not the same, JiHo!”

The liquid rushed from between JiHo’s lips, making a wet patch on her grey sweatpants. She could feel her throat and lungs burning as she coughed, caused by the alcohol going down her windpipe instead.

Jaemin watched her with concern painting his features, his hand slowly caressing her back hoping it would ease her violent coughs. “I’m sorry. Are you okay?” He whispered and JiHo gave him a small nod as her body calmed down.

The two 00 liners stayed like that for a while, with Jaemin’s eyes burning at the back of JiHo’s downturned head. Even after JiHo’s body stopped shaking violently, Jaemin’s concern continued to grow. It was only when he noticed the drops, which only could be tears, fall onto her sweatpants and create even more wet spots, that he decided to step in.

Jaemin’s hand securely gripped JiHo’s shoulder and he pulled her up to face him. A gasp left the boy’s mouth as he watched large tears spill from his friend’s eyes. “Ji…” It proved incredibly difficult to speak when he was faced with a situation he wasn’t ready to deal with. Maybe Jaemin shouldn’t have confronted her the way he did. Maybe acting like everything was fine wouldn’t have caused him to witness JiHo at possibly the worst she has felt.

It became a full minute of Jaemin staring into JiHo’s pain- and tear-filled eyes, feeling like he could drown in them himself, before a loud pained sob brought him to reality. The sudden jolt of JiHo’s body forward made Jaemin act quickly and pulled the girl into his chest. His hand, just as quickly, found its way into JiHo’s slightly tangled hair.

“I’m… sor- so sorry.” JiHo sobbed into his chest, tears soaking through even the thicker material of the boy’s jumper. Jaemin could feel his sweater start to stick against his chest, yet what felt more uncomfortable than the damp piece of clothing was the feeling of JiHo’s body shaking in his hold.

As best as he could, Jaemin tried to soothe JiHo. Almost like taking care of a crying toddler, he swayed the girl from side to side. His lips were pressed against the shell of JiHo’s ear as Jaemin whispered affirmations into her skin. “Don’t apologise... Stop apologising.”

“I’m only bringing the team down-” “Shh JiHo. Stop that.” He told her, as his fingers continued to comb through her hair, slowly and carefully detangling it along the way. JiHo pressed her eyes tighter as even more tears spilled from her cheeks and pushed herself closer into Jaemin’s grasp.

Mouth agape, a sob that was building up in his own chest was threatening to fall from Jaemin’s own lips. “You don’t deserve any of this JiHo, you only deserve the best.” JiHo only shook her head, but didn’t dare to speak again. “You do... You really do.”

The night in the capital of South-Korea was never really that dark. Lights always seemed to find their way past the pulled back blinds of any building that wasn’t directly blocked by another one due to bad city planning. So even during the darkest time of day, even when all the lights inside have been dimmed, somehow, it was still light enough to see inside.

So when Jaemin pulled back to look at JiHo’s face, her eyes still tightly pressed shut - which pained him immensely - Jaemin could see the light reflecting off of her wet cheeks.

Feeling two hands being placed on her burning cheeks, JiHo finally decided to open her eyes again. A few more tears rolled over her cheeks onto Jaemin’s thumbs, but luckily no new ones seemed to form. “I’m sorry for everything, all this drama. It’s my fault.” Jaemin shook his head and pulled the girl back, this time to hide his own tears that were starting to form. “Please stop apologising, it’s not your fault.”

“But-” JiHo sighed, her arms found their way around Jaemin’s small waist. “I hate that it’s always about me. I don’t want to be this cliche ‘emotional girl with so many problems and everyone has to pay attention to her problems’. I don’t want that. I don’t want to burden you guys with that, but I also don’t want that kind of attention. I know people already hate me for being in a boy’s group. I don’t want my stupid problems to be the only thing that people assiociate me with NCT.”

“Your problems are not stupid JiHo. And though I understand what you’re saying, I think it’s worse to keep it in. If anything, keeping it in just makes us worry about you more and may get you more attention. JiHo I know things suck right now, and I can’t imagine how you’re feeling with everything going on right now, but… Please just talk to us when things are bothering you. We all love you.”

At those last words JiHo loudly sniffled back some stray tears. She pressed herself into Jaemin’s warm embrace and softly nodded her head. “From now on I will. I promise. And…” JiHo looked up at Jaemin, sending him a small smile that he gratefully reciprocated. “I love you guys too. You’re all I have here and that’s enough to make me stay.”

Jaemin’s hand resumed with his previous ministrations. A deep sigh left his lips as he rested his head atop of JiHo’s. “Everything will be just fine.” Jaemin pressed a kiss against JiHo’s hair. “As long as we stay together everything will be just fine.”

[marblesphere]

Gojo Satoru x Reader

!!Warning!! This is self-indulgent fic. Sort of teacher x student relationships. Age gap. Implied suggestive theme. Character death. Fluff. If you are not comfortable, please don’t read this. As a caution, Minor please don’t interact.

[Name] 5 years old

Gojo Satoru 16 years old

Geto Suguru 15 years old

Ieiri Shoko 16 years old

"Satoru." My head poked into the class from the opened sliding door.

"Ah! My cute [Name]-chan!" Satoru grinned as he quickly picked me up. He rubs his cheek to mine, causing me to giggle.

"Satoru, your glasses hurt." I complained.

"Don't worry. Pain, pain, flies away." He smooched my cheek.

"Satoru. Let her down." Suguru sighed at his antics.

"Nope. You are just jealous that [Name]-chan likes me more than you." Satoru planted me on his lap, while still hugging my small frame.

"Konbanwa, Suguru." I smiled.

"Konbanwa, [Name]-chan. How are you today?" Suguru smiled.

"Today, our teacher gave us homework." I excitedly started telling them my day.

"What kind of homework?" Suguru asked.

"Making a flower. I am going to make a lot." I spread my hand to express how many I would make. "I will give you one later, okay?"

"That's very kind of you. I will look forward to it."

"Nooo~. [Name]-chan. You won't give me a flower?" Satoru put his head on top of mine, whining.

"Silly Satoru. Of course I will give you one." I giggled.

"Promise?" He stuck out his pinkie.

"Promise." I warped my pinkie to his. ~"~

 Suguru sighs while looking at his partner's antics. This little girl is the only one he showed affection openly. Usually he will tease, flirt or taunt the opposite gender. But, that's it. He never showed any interest in them. But, this little girl has him wrapped around her fingers.

'...Does that mean…' "Satoru…" The high school first grader called his friend.

"What?" Satoru replied but his thumb was still engaged in chicken fight with the little girl.

"...You won't lay your hand on her, right?"

"..." It took a while for his friend to process what he was asking. "The hell you are thinking." He made a disgusted face. He is fond of this girl and showers with affection. But he regards her as a precious little sister. Well, that might change in due time.

"As long as you know. That's fine." Suguru sighed in relief. ~"~

"What are you talking about?" I blinked up at the older teens.

"Nothing to worry about. So, what kind of flower are you going to give me?" Satoru asked.

"Secret. You will know when the time comes." I put a finger on my mouth, making a shushing motion.

"Eeehhh~. I want to know now." Satoru whined.

"Bad Satoru." I puffed my cheeks.

"Aw. I am sorry. Don't get mad. Or I will… give you a tickle." His hand has already started tickling me.

"Ahahaha...hahaha...Sa...Sato...ru...st...stopp...hahahha."

"I will stop if you forgive me."

"Hahaha….o...okay…" I nodded.

The tickling ceased instantly. "You are not playing fair." I huffed.

"Ahahaha. Don't get mad. Here. A lollipop." He shoved the candy stick to my mouth.

"!!!" My tongue swirled around the candy. "Melon flavor." I blinked. "Ah!" My eyes shot towards the clock which showed 3 o'clock. I wriggle out from Satoru's lap.

"[Name]-chan. Where are you going?"

"I promised Yae-chan to play together." I smiled. "I am going then. Bye bye Satoru, Suguru."

"Bye bye, [Name]-chan." Satoru waved.

"See you tomorrow." Suguru smiled.

Today, Yae-chan and I are going to play tag in a park. Some of our classmates from the Sakura class are also here.

"[Name]-chan!" Yae-chan waved her hand.

"Yae-chan!" I smiled back as I waved to her.

Fun times always fly past quickly. It's 5 o'clock now. Time for us children to go home.

Few days later, Mikan-chan, Hinako-chan, and Sera-chan invite Yae-chan and I to another game of tag. Of course we agreed.

So, after school, I told Ijichi-san I am going to play tag with friends, so I won't be visiting Satoru.

"Mikan-chan, where are we going to play today? The park?" Yae-chan asked curiously.

"Hehe. Nope. We will play in a big house today." Mikan-chan said proudly.

"Big house?" The rest of us blinked.

"Yes. We are almost there." Mikan-chan said. After a twist and turn, we finally arrived at a big house Mikan-chan said.

"...Mikan-chan, are you sure you want to play tag here…?" I looked at the obviously ominous house.

"Of course. It will be so fun here." Mikan-chan talked as she was oblivious of the strange scent the house omitted.

"Hmph. Are you scared?" Hinako-chan jeered.

I frown at her. "I am not. But, Satoru said don't go near the house like this. It's dangerous." I said.

"Satoru? Ah. That neighbour onii-chan." Yae-chan said.

"Hmph. Nothing is dangerous, you stupid. There is no ghost. You are just afraid." Hinako-chan sneered.

"I am not afraid." I puffed my cheeks.

"Yes, you are. And that neighbour of yours is probably lying to you." She added.

"Satoru is not a liar!" I yelled. "Satoru never lies to me!" I told her.

"Adults are always lying. My mother said so." Hinako-chan retorted.

"Satoru is not a liar. I will prove to you that ghosts exist." I was miffed, completely forgetting the warning I had received.

"Fine." Hinako-chan stuck her chest out. Thus, the game of tag is quickly forgotten. Right now, they are going to prove the existence of ghosts. ~"~

Yae quickly runs to [Name]'s house. All she can think about is how to get to her house quickly. Fortunately, the house isn't that far. But, to a little kid this is already exhausting all her strength.

Yae panted as she arrived at Sakuya's house. She sees [Name]'s mother talking to 2 men.

"[Name]-chan's Mama!" Yae yelled, catching their attention.

Hisaki Reika, Suguru and Satoru shift their attention to Yae. The crying little girl collapses to her knees, fortunately being caught by Satoru. "Otto."

"Yae-chan?! What's wrong?" She asked the child, worry and concern evident in her tone and face.

"[Name]-chan… danger…" Yae hiccuped.

"Where are they?" Satoru asked, it's a rare case where he actually talked seriously.

"Yae-chan. Calm down and take a deep breath. Slowly… inhale… exhale…." She instructed.

Satoru shifts his hold on Yae, so Yae is being propped by his arm. Yae follows Reika's instructions, so she starts calming down.

"In what direction?" Satoru asked again.

"Satoru, don't scare her. Let her catch her breath." Suguru admonished, he knew his partner was anxious.

"Yae-chan, please tell me what you know." Reika smiled.

"...They are in an abandoned house near the park we usually play." Yae hiccuped.

"Got it." He transferred Yae to Reika and quickly teleported.

"Satoru-" He left before Suguru could say something. "Yare yare. Yae-chan. Please tell me the whole story." He smiled kindly.

Yae starts telling them their story. "Mi-Mikan-chan said she found a big house to play tag near the park. Then…[Name]-chan said this house is dangerous, she said her neighbour onii-chan said so. Hinako-chan said that onii-chan is lying. [Name]-chan said onii-chan won't lie to her….They fight with each other before [Name]-chan said she will prove to Hinako-chan that ghosts exist." Yae recounted. "...sorry...I should have stopped them." Fresh tears started flowing again.

"Oh no. Yae-chan this is not your fault. Don't worry. [Name]-chan and the others will be fine. That strong onii-chan will rescue them." She assured the little girl.

"R...really?" The little girl hiccuped.

"Yes, of course." She smiled reassuringly at the little girl.

"Then, Hisaki-san, I'll be on my way too." Suguru nodded at her.

"Okay. Be careful. I will go there after I take Yae-chan home." Reika nodded back.~"~

"Hic…"

"Sssshhhh…" I tried to shush Hinako's cry. "Don't cry or she will find us." I whispered to the other them.

The exploration starts normally. We argue as we open each door on the first floor. Of course there's nothing. And this fact made Hinako-chan more unbridled. She keeps saying Satoru is a liar. Of course, I am angry too. Satoru is not a liar.

But the deeper we go the more I smell the foul stench. On the 3rd floor. There's this one room with a particular strong vile stench. "The spirit must be here." I mumbled.

"Hmph. I am sure there's nothing inside." Hinako-chan said. Mio-chan and Mikan-chan seem to agree.

"Nee...let's just go. This room feels creepy." Yae-chan said.

"You are just afraid. As I thought, your neighbour is a liar." Hinako-chan harrumphed.

"Satoru is not a liar. I will prove it to you." I huffed. I also feel this room is creepy and definitely dangerous. But she says Satoru is a liar. I can't forgive her. So, I mustered up the courage to push open the door. The old door creaks open. We are unaware of the curse residing inside.~"~

 "Are you ready?" The eerie voice echoed in the building. Hinako-chan and the others clamped her mouth tighter, afraid their cries would leak out. But a small whimper still leaks out from her mouth.

My heart is beating so fast I can even hear it. The voice and footsteps echo louder. I bit my lips thinking what should no, what can I do against that monster.

"Satoru, can you teach me how to exorcise cursed spirits?" I blinked up to the older male.

"[Name]-chan. You need curse energy to exorcise one." Satoru smiled cockily.

"So, I can't?" My mouth turned upside down.

"Well… there's one that you might can do." He drawled.

"Really?! Tell me?!" Excitement bubbled up.

"It's like this." He grinned as he taught me.~"~

"Found you."

"Kyaaaaa!!!!"

I quickly throw the nearest object I found within my reach which has no effect on it.

"Rin pyo toh sha kai jin retsu zai zen" I made a kuji-kiri. The lines I made in the air sort of materialized as light and attacked the curse.

"Let's run!" I yelled. The others and I quickly ran towards the door. Once we are out, I close the door. We still can hear clearly the curse's wail.

"I want to go home." Hinako cried.

"Let's go." I grabbed their hands and started running again. "You guys stay here and don't make a sound." I told them and closed the door. "Rin pyo toh sha kai jin retsu zai zen." I threw another kuji-kiri to focus its attention on me. I quickly ran as I was chased. I didn't run for long before I cornered.

"Are you...ready? Found you…" The grotesque curse stamped toward me.

'Scary...I...am...scared…' "...help...HELP ME! SATORU!" I yelled as I closed my eyes.

A loud crash was heard and a smell of wisteria enveloped me. "Sa...to..ru…" My opened eyes took a glimpse of white hair and sparkling blue eyes.

"[Name]-chan. Close your eyes and ears, okay? And don't move until I say so." He smiled sweetly.

"Eh? Okay." I nodded and obediently did as I was told. I can't hear or see anything except the vile smell that started to dissipate. Again, I was enveloped in a nice wisteria smell.

"You can open your eyes now." He said gently.

"Satoru…?" I blinked.

"Yep. The Gojo Satoru is here. You can rest easy." He winked.

"Where is everyone?" I gasped in realization.

"Don't worry. I found them before I found you. Right now they are outside the building with Suguru...maybe.... They are safe now. So are you." He stroke my head.

"Re...really?"

"Of course. I will never lie to you." He grinned.

"Hic...hic...Uwaaaaa!" I wailed. The tears are flowing nonstop. "Scary… I am scared…" I clung to Satoru as if he was my only lifeline.

"I am here now… no one can hurt you…" He cooed.

I cried for a good while. Now with my small hands wrapped around his neck, Satoru escorted me out of the abandoned house.

"[Name]!" I heard mama's voice.

"Mama!" I wriggled as I stretched my hands to her.

Satoru transfers me to her arms easily. "Mama!" I wrapped my hands tightly around her.

"It's good you are alright." She sighed in relief.

"Satoru saved me." I smiled.

"Thank you, Satoru-kun. Suguru-kun too, thank you for rescuing the others." Mama bowed.

"No. It was our duty. No need to thank us." Suguru smiled.

"There's no way I will let [Name]-chan get hurt." Satoru supplied.

"[Name]." Mama set me on the ground. My senses are tingling. "Didn't Satoru-kun tell you not to go inside the abandoned house?"

"...I…Hinako-chan said Satoru is a liar. I just want her to know Satoru is not a liar." I muttered, sneaking a peek at her, only to be stared down with hard glare. "Satoru…" I pleaded to the older teen. He always takes my side.

"Even though I am happy. I am quite angry with you too, [Name]-chan." Satoru smiled.

I flinch, then I look at my last resort, Suguru.

"There's no use looking at me, [Name]-chan." Suguru smiled too.

"I...am sorry…I just don't want her to say Satoru is a liar. Satoru is...not a...liar" I hiccuped, tears started flowing again.

"[Name]-chan." I heard Satoru sighed as he lifted me up. "I don't really care if they say I am a liar. I just don't want you hurt. As long as you believe in me. I will be fine." Satoru patted my head.

"[Name], you are a kind child. But Mama doesn't want anything to happen to you. If something happens to you. Mama will…" Mama choked out a sob.

"Sorry...I am sorry, mama!" I wailed. The incident was over. The rescued children were all asleep and brought back to their parents. They were told the children fall asleep after playing some kind of adventure game. The children will quickly forget after they wake up believing that was some kind of dream. The only ones who properly remember this are Yae-chan and me.

Yae-chan has promised to keep this a secret. That night, the dinner was lively. Satoru and Suguru were eating with us.

"[Name]-chan, it's time to sleep." Satoru patted my bed. Wearing blue pajamas, I crawl to the bed. "Let's tuck you to bed." He grinned.

"Satoru, don't turn off the light, okay." I murmured.

"Are you afraid?" He blinked.

"Un…" I nodded my head.

"Then, next time, please don't go to dangerous places. You should just ignore whatever they are saying." He flicked my forehead. A small 'itta' escaped my mouth. "You really worried me, [Name]-chan." He sighed.

"Sorry...Satoru… I promised I won't go to dangerous places again." I stuck my pinkie to him.

"You promised, okay. Don't break it. If you break your promise, you will have to swallow a thousand needles." He wrapped his pinkie to mine.

"I will. So, Satoru, don't leave me alone okay." I am getting sleepy. My eyes are dropping.

"Sweet dreams." With a kiss on the forehead, I am out like a feather. ~"~

Gojo Satoru, he prided himself to be strong. He didn't really understand why he should have protected the weak. This world no matter how evolved, the rule is still the same. The strong prey on the weak.

But as usual, there is always an exception. For Gojo Satoru, his exception is the little girl sleeping on the bed. This seemingly normal girl. Well, maybe not so normal. As the sole heir of the Gojo clan he is always on guard. Because everyone around him always want a piece of him.

That's why he always taunts and teases them. Just to remind them not to mess with him. But at the same time, this attitude earned him a lot of enemies. The Gojo clan praises him as a genius. So, from the moment he was born, he had to shoulder those unneeded expectations.

He used to try hard because of it, but right now he doesn't give a damn.

Well, this little girl is the first one to tell him. It's okay to take a break and just let go of those expectations. Coming from a little girl, this is quite a feat. That was the first time Gojo Satoru let out a genuine smile for her. ~"~

 "Satoru." A small girl not older than 3 years old poked her head into his room.

"[Name]-chan." Satoru plastered a smile as usual. This little kid from his neighbor seems attached to him. Well, he didn't mind. She was quite amusing for her age. Trying to mimic him and all.

"Satoru. Here, kakigori." [Name] smiled as she handed the sweet to him.

"Oh, kakigori. Thank you [Name]-chan." He never declined a sweet.

"Of course. I hope after you eat it, you will become cheerful." She smiled, her baby teeth showing.

"I am always cheerful." He grinned.

"Nuh uh. You are always sad. I don't know. I just know you are sad. Don't get sad anymore Satoru." The little girl patted his head. "Pain pain goes away.." Her little palm covered his eyes before making a motion like throwing something away. "Pain pain goes away… hic… pain...pain… go..away..." She sobbed.

Bewildered, Satoru finally let out a helpless sigh. "Why are you crying, [Name]-chan?" He patted my head.

"Because you didn't cry. Sorry… I can't take your pain away...sowwy…"

"It's not your fault. [Name]-chan. Thank you for crying for me." He pulled the much smaller girl to a hug. "Don't cry anymore. I will be okay. The pain has gone away." He coaxed the girl.

For the first time in his life. Gojo Satoru knew what it was like being worried by other people. "Really? You are not lying?" [Name] hiccuped.

"Of course." He wiped her snot with a handkerchief. "I will never lie to you." He smiled. "So, don't cry anymore."

"Okay." She nodded, smiling.

"Good, let's eat kakigori toge..ther…" The forgotten kakigori has melted. "Let's go eat ice cream." Satoru lifted the small girl.

"I want bubble gum flavour. Because it's like your eyes, so pretty."

"Eh? [Name]-chan, does that mean you want to eat my eyes?" He put on a faux hurt expression.

"Of course not. Silly Satoru. I just like the colour of your eyes. They are so pretty. Because they are yours." The girl giggled.

"I see. I like your eyes too. They are so honest. Just like you."

"Hehehe, thank you."

From that moment, a genuine bond formed between them. And his affection to her too has become genuine. In other words, he spoiled her rotten, of course within limits. She might be the only one who can bend the Gojo Satoru to her will. Later, she will be known as the Gojo Satoru's owner. ~"~

 After the incident, Satoru and Suguru agreed to teach me some basics of close combat for self defense. And apparently, I am not allowed to go out alone for a month. Either being accompanied by Mama, Satoru, Suguru sometimes even Nanamin or someone from Jujutsu High.

Apparently I was born with innate ability as an onmyouji. But, my necklace which was given by my late father is some kind of seal, sealing the ability to see. The seal has weakened, and I start seeing the curse. Mama has told Satoru, Suguru and Masamichi sensei my origin.

Apparently, my great great great...uh… many generations ago, someone from my father's side is a direct descendant from a Keikain, an onmyouji. She is married to a youkai. The Keikain clan died out many generations ago. Father is, what was the word, a leftover. At that time, my grandma from generations ago was expelled from clan because marrying a youkai. They took different surnames and voila, I was born after generations had passed.

When I was born, papa said my spiritual power is too strong, this kind of power is attractive to curses. They are effective in purging curses but also in attracting curses. So, he sealed my power. Hoping I will just live as a normal girl.

But alas, the seal quickly weakened, one because I hung around a lot with someone with a cursed power. Two, I have encountered cursed spirits.

"Mama, am I bad? Is it because this Papa has gone far away?" I blinked my watery eyes.

"Oh no. Of course not, honey. It's definitely not your fault. Papa has gone far away to search for a way to help you." Mama gave me a teary smile.

"Okay…" I nodded.

"...Onmyouji, huh? I am not sure how to handle onmyouji spiritual power." Sensei sighed.

"Is that different from curse power?" Suguru asked.

"If curse energy is negative energy. Then spiritual power is positive power. Though all the same it can be used like curse power. It just, spiritual power is far more attractive to curses than curse power or curse object. I am not sure whether the way of handling them are the same." Sensei said.

"My late husband had some books for spiritual power. I am not sure whether this will help or not." Mama said.

"Can I take a look?"

"Of course." Mama then led Sensei to Papa's study.

"Satoru, Suguru. Will I be okay? Is Mama troubled because of me?" I asked the older males.

"[Name]-chan…"

"Of course not, [Name]-chan. Don't worry. Nothing will happen to you. This Gojo Satoru will protect you. And Reika-san is not troubled because of you." He patted my head.

"Not only Satoru, I will also protect you. What Satoru said is right. Your mom is not troubled because you. That's why don't worry." He smiled.

"Thank you, Satoru, Suguru." I smiled.

So, in the end it's decided I will stay in Jujutsu high with Satoru because it's the best option for my safety. Mama will stay with me every weekend or holiday. My room is in between Satoru and Suguru. Someone will take me to school every morning.

Even though I have my own room, I mostly sleep in Satoru's room when he is not out. And in the morning Suguru will wake us. After school, sensei will tell me how to meditate. According to him, even though I have different power, the way of channelling is more or less the same. So, meditating is the first step. ~"~

Few months later

"Who is this little girl?" A big sister wearing a maiden shrine outfit peered down at me. I hide myself behind Nanamin's leg.

"She is a special student here." Nanamin told her.

"Kon...konichiwa, I am Hisaki [Name]. Umm… nice to meet you." I bowed and hid myself again.

"So cute." She smiled. "I am Iori Utahime. Nice to meet you, [Name]-chan." She kneeled down to my level and smiled.

"Un!" I smiled.

"By the way, she has another nickname." Nanamin said.

"Nickname?"

"Gojo Satoru's owner."

Big sister suddenly freezes. "Onee-chan, what's wrong?" I blinked.

"This little girl is what?" She asked again.

"Gojo Satoru's owner." Nanamin said again.

"We are talking about that Gojo Satoru, right? The annoying arrogant prick. There's no way he will listen to other's orders. Let alone a small girl." Utahime Onee-chan said indecorously.

"But, this is the truth." Nanamin said.

"Are you two fighting?" I looked up at them.

"No. We are not fighting. She is just having trouble processing that you are Gojo-san's owner." Nanamin said.

"Satoru? Onee-chan knows about Satoru's too?" I smiled at her.

"Well, no one doesn't know who he is." Utahime onee-chan grumbled.

"Onee-chan, do you hate Satoru?" I tilted my head. "Satoru is nice. He just doesn't know how to show it."

"Did he brainwash her?"

"No. It's the opposite."

"I can't wait for Utahime to come."

"Satoru, don't tease her." The door opened, revealing Satoru and Suguru.

"Ah! Satoru, Suguru." I waved my hand excitedly.

"[Name]-chan. I have come back. I bought a lot of sweets." Satoru grinned. "Ah, Utahime, there's none for you." Satoru told the girl.

"I don't want any!" Utahime Onee-chan yelled.

"Bad Satoru, sharing is caring." I scolded.

"Well, I care about you, so I share my sweets with you." He grinned.

"Then, what about Suguru?" I titled my head.

"...well, I will give him one then."

"Nanamin too."

"Ok, one for Nanamin."

"What about Utahime onee-chan?"

"Utahime doesn't need it. She is dieting." Satoru whispered (loudly) to my ear.

"I am not!!" Utahime onee-chan yelled.

"See what I mean." Nanamin sighed as he would rather go outside to exorcise curse spirits rather than being in the same room with Satoru.

"Ah, Nanamin." I called. I grab a few sweets from the plastic bag. "Thank you for accompanying me today." I smiled.

"...you are welcome." A slight smile curved on his lips.

"Ah! Nanamin smiled. Let me get a picture." Satoru exclaimed, taking out his phone.

Quickly as it came, Nanamin's smile disappeared. "Then, I will be on my way." Nanamin left.

"Onee-chan, let's eat sweets together." I smiled.

"Ehh~ [Name]-chan. I thought this is our quality time." Satoru whined.

"The more the merrier. Let's ask Shoko too." I clapped my hand.

Shoko finally arrived. We are already waiting for her as we munch the sweets. Utahime onee-chan ate some too. "Shoko, you are late." Satoru said.

"Shoko, I saved your favourite." I waved.

"Thanks, [Name]-chan. Looks like even though you spend a lot of time with Satoru, your personality is still intact." She patted my head.

I… don't understand a thing she said. I blink and look at Satoru. "Shoko, that's not a nice thing to say. I am just fine." Satoru said.

“Satoru.” I called.

“Hm?” He hummed in respond.

“What is owner?” I asked curiously. Satoru blinks owlishly at me.

“Nanamin said, I am Satoru’s owner? What does that mean?” I munched a pocky stick.

“That means, [Name]-chan can ask me to do anything.” He grinned.

“Anything?” I blinked.

“Anything. What do you want me to do?” He smirked proudly.

"Then, Satoru, can you open this for me?" I asked as I handed him a pocky box.

"Of course." Satoru smiled as he used his cursed technique to open the box.

"Amazing." My eyes sparkled.

"Is it? Because I am the strongest." Satoru laughed (cockily).

"You are so amazing, Satoru. I hope I will become like you too." I clapped my hand.

"Yep. But I will be way stronger by then." He smirked.

"Is that so? Then, you will protect me, right?" I smiled.

"Of course. Leave it all to Gojo Satoru." He grinned. ~"~

While the others are still eating without batting an eye. Utahime is gaping. That Gojo Satoru is acting nice in front of a little girl. She was quite skeptical when she heard [Name] is Gojo Satoru's owner. She did tell him to share his sweets and he complied. But, she thought it was just to humour her. Utahime never thought he was so whipped. She can clearly see his affection is genuine.

Utahime looks at Shoko. "This is the usual." Shoko munched her sweets.

"Eehh…" Utahime is processing the scene in front of her. ~"~

"[Name]-chan, it's your bedtime." Satoru lifted me up.

"Eehh… I want to play with Shoko and Utahime onee-chan too." I pouted

"No can do, young lady. It's 9 o'clock. It's time for sleep. Reika-san will get angry if you sleep late." Satoru said.

"...okay… bye bye Shoko, Utahime onee-chan, Suguru." I waved.

"Bye bye." They waved.

After changing into my pajamas, right now I curled in Satoru's bed. "Satoru… Bedtime story." I am excited for bedtime story. Satoru always has some funny stories.

"Well… long long time ago, there was a strong sorcerer named Gojo Satoru…" I giggled at his opening.

"He is so strong that no one can win against him."

"How strong?" I blinked.

"Hmm…. I can win with just one finger." He smiled.

"Really?"

"Really really." He nodded. "Then, one day. Some old geezers came to challenge him."

"Who are the old geezers?" I asked.

"Annoying people." He answered.

"Oh."

"So, the old geezers challenged him and lost miserably. The end." He grinned.

"So fast." I pouted.

"It's time to sleep." Satoru slipped into the bed too. I quickly snuggle to him and out like a feather. ~"~

A year later

I am running on the street, searching for a familiar curse energy. I feel it just now, so he won't be far. "Suguru!" I yelled. "SUGURU!" I yelled out loudly. Finally the said stops moving and turns around to face me. "Don't go, Suguru." I cried.

"I can't. I have lost faith in humanity." He smiled sadly.

"Then, why are you so sad? You don't want to go, right? Then don't go! Stay with us!" I cried not caring how ugly my appearance was.

He shakes his head. "I am sad maybe because I won't be seeing you ordering Satoru around." He patted my head.

"Please don't go. I will work harder, I won't slack off anymore. I will cut my sweet. I will properly sleep in my bed. Hic...don't go...hic."

"If you do that, Satoru will be lonely." He sighed helplessly. "Please stay with him, okay." He smiled

"Su...gu..ru…" As soon as he touched my forehead, I felt sleepy. 'No...I can't…'

Suguru catches the unconscious girl. He brings her to the nearest park, takes a photo and sends it to Satoru. After that, he leaves some of the cursed spirit to guard her.

Satoru, just as he has received the picture from an unknown number, quickly teleports to the park. Fortunately [Name] is unharmed. "Don't...go...Suguru…" A lone tear escaped her already tear-stained cheek. ~"~

~Few years later~

[Name] 15 years old

Gojo Satoru 26 years old.

This happened before my promotion to a semi-second grade sorcerer. I was staying over in Satoru's house because Mama is out for vacation.

"Breakfast is ready." A cheerful voice said.

"Good morning, Satoru." I rubbed my sleepy eyes.

"Good morning, [Name]-chan. I have made your favourite." He grinned. Satoru is wearing a casual black long-sleeved shirt and white slacks. His sunglasses perched on top of his nose bridge.

On the table two plates of omurice are placed, complete with the tableware and two glasses of milk.

"Go get freshen up before the breakfast goes cold." He ushered me to the bathroom.

"Ummm…." I nodded.

After breakfast, we are just lounging around in the living room. Watching horror movies. No matter how terrifying they made the ghost, it doesn't phase me a bit. I have been meeting a lot of curses in any shape. This one that is shaped like a human seems more human.

"[Name]-chan." Satoru called.

"Hm?"

"Why are you not scared?" He asked.

"...Because it's not scary…?" I tilted my head.

"...But, this movie guarantees that everyone will be scared if they watch it…" He pouted.

"Then, Satoru, why are you not scared too?" I asked back.

"Because I am the strongest jujutsu sorcerer. Gojo Satoru." He smirked.

"Then, I am not scared because I am Gojo Satoru's owner." I said flatly.

"...the nickname seems stuck with you." He sweatdropped. "But, I like it." He grinned. "But, I like it more if you are scared and cling to me." He wrapped his arms around himself. "Kyaaa!!! Satoru, it's so scary." He said in a very disgusting high-pitched voice. "Don't worry, [Name]-chan. I am here." He said in his voice again.

"..." I looked at him for a while and ignored him, focusing my attention on tv.

"[Name]-chan has become so cold." He fake-cried. "Where is my cute [Name]-chan that always clings to me and calls me Satoru."

….There's a reason why I act like this. This guy is unbelievably popular. Whether it's a little kid, teenager, career woman, married woman, even grandma will act like a girl with her first crush just by seeing his face.

And there's one time the commotion happened in my school. I think I was in 5th grade. That time he substitutes my mom coming to school. It's a parent-teacher conference. I still remember how happy I was, until this guy showed up without his blindfold. You can imagine the commotion he caused. Everyone, by everyone I mean everyone. From students to teachers to parents. They are ogling at him. He knew and enjoyed it.

And so, going home from school, I banned him from wearing his sunglasses when outside. He has to stick with a blindfold. At least, with blindfold, no one pays attention to him. In other words, it's just the jealousy of a hormonal teenager. But, there's no way I will tell him this.

"Satoru… you are creepy." I deadpanned.

"[Name]-chan." He whined.

"...So, you want me to act scared or not." I sighed.

A wide grin with his hands stretched out is the answer. ~"~

Right before summer vacation, the whole class is going to do a test of courage. You know this is some kind of matchmaking. They will choose some of that was not scary at all. Pair the class into girl boy pairing and they have to walk around the designated perimeter together with just one flashlight. The scared girl will cling to the boy, and the boy will assure her they will be alright. What a scam.

They have agreed to meet in the old school building entrance tonight. "Will something pop out there?" Yae asked.

"Old school building? I have long exorcised the curse spirit over there." I answered.

"As expected from onmyouji. So, what progress have you made with your 'Satoru'?" Yae teased.

"...There's no progress to report. He is older than me, like what? 11 years." I sighed.

"But, you like him right? As in you want him to ravish-"

“Let’s stop before our conversation steered away to unknown territory.” I cut her off. “Besides, that’s not love. It’s called lust.” I mumbled, cheeks tinted pink, because my mind dangerously hovered on a certain image she said.

"You think I am 3 years old?" She rolled her eyes. "Love and lust are always together. Love is just more glorified than lust. Because if you love someone then you want everything they are physically and spiritually. While lust might be because they like one or more aspects they have."

"Yae… how come you know this?" I blinked.

"Anime and movies are the source. Unlike you who only watch horror genre and can even laugh at it." She snorted.

"Well, it can't be helped because it's not scary. Their movements are funny too. Cursed spirits don't move like that. They-"

"So, do you like him or not?" She asked.

"...of course I like him." I mumbled. "But, I am sure to him I was just a little sister." I said.

"Did he tell you that?" Yae asked.

"Umm...Few times when I was in grade school?" I blinked.

"That is hardly a proof. I mean, if he showed interest when you were a grade schooler, doesn't that make him a dangerous person?" Yae snorted.

"Well… I can't deny that." I nodded.

"Besides, it's just an 11 years age gap. Did you forget there was a time when a 40 something old man married an 18 something girl. That's what we call a cradle robber." Yae raised her brow.

"It was in the past…" I mumbled.

"Not really. There are some cases like this too right now. Well, all you need is to wait until you are 18 and then eat him in one swoop." Yae grinned.

"I...am not going to eat him. By the time I am 18, he might already have a girlfriend or wife." I grumbled.

"....with that kind of personality? I don't think so. I think only you can handle him. Or at least he is tamer with you." Yae smirked.

"Don't talk like he is some kind of pet." I sweatdropped.

"Oh, but he is. You are his owner. You do know your nickname on going in those circles, don't you?" Yae laughed. She is enjoying this.

"...Gojo Satoru's owner…"

"Yep. You should use that to your advantage." Yae giggled.

"...How should I use it?" I tilted my head.

"...Think for yourself." Yae rolled her eyes.

"Eehhh?"

"So, are you coming for the test of courage?" Yae asked.

"No. I have a job tonight. Nothing dangerous will happen there." I shook my head.

"Then, I am coming with you." Yae said.

"Hm? You are not going with them?" I blinked.

"What's the point? Megumi is not there." Yae rolled her eyes.

"Megumi is in a different school though." I sweatdropped.

"That's why I don't want to go. I'd rather watch you exorcise cursed spirits." Yae reasoned.

*Bzzzz* My phone vibrated. I fish out my phone from my skirt's pocket and see a notification from Satoru. I open his message.

"Tonight, Megumi will go with you. (ﾉ≧ڡ≦) Teehee~!"

"I see…"

"What's wrong?"

"Megumi will come with me tonight." I threw my phone to her, so she can see the message.

"Coming with you is really a good idea." Yae giggled. “I will tell class rep we won’t be participating.” She smiled.

This girl will do anything just to see Megumi. Her infatuation is really something. Megumi… I think he might have a crush on her too. And Yae is good at playing pull and push with Megumi. I am sure Megumi has no idea about this. Truly, a copy of Satoru. Sometimes I wonder if they are related to each other.

Who would've ever thought that sweet Yae grew up to be like this. I sigh, this is Satoru's fault. I heard their conversation when I was in 6th grade. Satoru was teaching this girl how to attract Megumi. The content of the conversation is so scary that I ran straight to Megumi's temporary room and told him not to grow up like Satoru.

10 o'clock. Yae, Megumi and I are in front of the cursed building. "Megumi, here. I made too much. Eat them later with Tsumiki-san." Yae dropped a small pouch of cookies on Megumi's palm.

"Thank you very much." Megumi said.

'It's definitely a lie. She must have made it just now.' I sweatdropped. I sigh, "Megumi, let's get this finished quickly and eat some ice cream." I called the younger boy.

"...We have no supervisor? What about Gojo-sensei?" Megumi blinked.

"Our supervisor for today is Ijichi-san. As for Satoru, he said he has business."

"No can do, [Name]-san. You shouldn't allow your pet to roam without you." Megumi said flatly.

"....He's not a pet though…" I sighed.

"But, you are his owner. Please control him." Megumi said.

"...Shut up… talk later. Let's finish this quickly." I huffed.

"Then, I will lower the curtain." Ijichi-san said as he made a hand seal. After the curtain is lowered, we enter the building.

Megumi summons his Gyokuken (Divine Dog) a pair of black and white dogs, while I summon a shikigami, Tanro, a Honshu wolf. "[Name]-san, I will take this one. So, you take the other one." Megumi said.

"Okay. Call me if you need anything." I nodded as I mounted Tanro. I quickly arrived at the second cursed spirit's location and easily dispatched it. This building was haunted by some 4th grade cursed spirit. The weakest one in the hierarchy.

The mission is over quickly, dispatching some 4th grade cursed spirits are hardly what we call a mission. This is more to let us accumulate experience.

"It's over." I stretched my hands up as we exited the building. "Ijichi-san. You can raise the curtains. We have finished." I told the older male.

"Thank you for your hard work." Ijichi-san smiled.

"No problem. Megumi, we are going for ice cream. Will you come with us?" I asked.

"...Sorry. I still have homework to do and Tsumiki will get mad if I stay out late." Megumi said. Yae's smile drops considerably. "Maybe next time. I will definitely join next time." Megumi said.

"Okay. You promised." Yae smiled.

'Ah, the push and pull.'

In the end, only the two of us are having ice cream. "Why don't you call Satoru-san?" Yae scooped her parfait.

"He won't be back until morning it seems." I showed her the message.

"I'll be back late. ʕっ•ᴥ•ʔっ"

"We should go home too, after finishing this." I gazed at the window.

"Can't wait to sleep in his bed?" Yae smirked.

"...I sleep on my bed. I have my own room."

"You can use this chance to sleep on his bed." Come the suggestion. "You guys are used to sleeping together anyway. I am sure he won't mind."

"That was in grade school. I...am not a child anymore." I mumbled, a slight blush coating my cheeks.

"The question is whether you want to or not."

"I...want to…" I muttered softly.

"Then, easy, just do it. You used to do whatever you want anyway." Yae sighed.

"I know… it's just…" I remember the words that that woman said to me.

"I pity him. He has to babysit you so much he can't even have time for himself."

I was so angry at that time. But, now I think about it, she is right. Almost 24/7 I stay with him. Satoru might not say anything. But, maybe because he's afraid of hurting me.

"So, what happened exactly?" Yae sighed.

"Yae… you remember I told you about that woman I saw with Satoru, right?" I opened my mouth to speak.

"Ah. I remember you told me about an old hag hanging around him. Yep. I remember." She nodded.

"You see… that woman told me…" I recounted the tale and the words she said to me.

"I see. What a load of bullshit." Yae deadpanned. "And, you are an idiot too, for falling for her words." Yae flicked my forehead.

"Ittai." I rubbed the sore spot.

"That woman probably just wants to get to his pants. But, was rejected. And she shifted the blame to you. Don't worry much about what other people think. Just think about what you want to do." Yae said.

"What I want...to do…"

"If you keep pushing him away, he might really go away. Satoru-san's personality is unrestrained. He might slip away. Do you want it to happen?"

"I don't want to!" I answered quickly.

"Then, you know what you should do, right?"

"Be more honest with what I want." I nodded.

"Good. You have the entire summer vacation to do it. You are going to Jujutsu high anyway." She smiled.

"Yeah. Thanks Yae." I smiled gratefully at my best friend.

"Of course. You owe me a cake from Sweets Bakery." She said.

"No worry. I will buy it." I laughed. The two of us share a laugh.

*Bzzzz bzzzz*

My phone vibrated signalling an incoming call. "Moshi moshi, [Name] here."

"[Name], where are you right now?" Hinako's voice transmitted to my ears.

"We are eating ice cream at Kinoko's family restaurant." I answered.

"Can you come to sanchoume. We are having kimodameshi here…" She said.

"What?! Aren't you guys in the old school building?" I frowned.

"The thing is, Yuriko told them about this abandoned building in sanchoume. They said it seemed interesting and changed their location. Now they are inside and haven't come out yet. It's almost an hour." Hinako cried. "You are an onmyouji, right? I remember you were the one who help us back then. Please help." She pleaded.

"...Listen. Don't let the others enter the building, okay. Not even to search. I will be there soon." I hung up.

"What's wrong?" Yae asked.

"Those idiots went to an abandoned house in sanchoume. Hinako said some of them have gone inside and haven't come back. I will go and check on them." I grumbled. "I will smack them so hard after I rescue them." An annoyed tick appeared on my forehead.

I put on my jacket and speed dial Satoru's number. "Moshi moshi, my cute [Name]-chan. Have you finished your mission?" Satoru's playful voice came through the phone.

"Satoru. There's an emergency. Idiots from my class have gone to an abandoned house in sanchoume for kimodameshi. Cursed spirits might be there. I will go there right now."

"Is Megumi with you?"

"Megumi has gone home. We have finished our mission. Right now it's only Yae and I."

"Understood. I will take some time to arrive. Don't do anything dangerous." He said seriously.

"I know." I hung up and sped through the street. I want to use Tanro, but this will shock people, so I can only use my feet.

Time like this is how I envied Satoru. He can teleport and fly in the air. Arriving there, I can see Hinako is trying to block them from entering.

"Hinako!" I called.

"[Name]. You are here." She smiled in relief.

"So, who is inside?" I asked without beating the bush.

"Yuriko, Mio, Higashi-kun and Takeuchi-kun." She listed out the most troublesome people in our class.

"Tsk. Stupid idiots. I hope they are still alive so I can smack them so hard they will fly back to their house." I grumbled.

"Please save them, [Name]." She pleaded.

"I will. As long as they are still alive." I said grimly. The stench is too much, my nose scrunched up in disgust. 'This might a first grade.' I gulped. I have only ever fought with second grade and that was under Satoru's supervision. 'Fine. Bring it on. If I keep being like this. I won't be a first grade onmyouji/sorcerer.'

I step into the house. "Tanro." I called for my shikigami. "Let's locate the human scent first. Can you do it?"

"Awooo." He howled. Tanro then speeds through the building. Tanro stops in one of the rooms. "Awoooo!" He howled.

It seems like they are here. "Tanro, bust open the door." I commanded. With a roar Tanro tears open the metal door.

"Hiii!!!"

"Kyaaaa!!!"

The screams from inside the room prove that they are still alive. "Hi-Hisaki…?" Takeuchi-kun lowered his trembling hands with a pole.

"Wh...what are you riding?"

"Kyaaa! A monster!!!" Yuriko screamed.

"I will smack you all later. For now, let's get out of here." I dismounted Tanro.

"Be-behind you!!"

The cursed spirit is blocked by Rokuson. Another shikigami I have called. A deer. "Bukyoku." I called another one. This time it's a samurai.

"[Name]-sama." He greeted me.

"Tanro, Rokuson, take them out. Bukyoku, we will hold it here." I commanded.

"Yes!" Bukyoku charged to the cursed spirit, which I am certain is a first grade. "Bind." I made a hand seal, glowing light warped around its neck and limbs, sealing its movement. Tanro and Rokuson crash the windows in this room to get outside. The easiest method.

"Ki...kikiki!!!" The cursed spirit gets angry. The room distorts and suddenly all exits are blocked. The binding spell has been broken.

"Domain expansion… this is bad…" A bead of sweat rolled down my temple.

"Kikikikiki!" It sounded like he was having fun.

"Sorry, but I am the hunter and you are the prey." I glared at it. "Rentei!" Another shikigami, this time a koi fish shikigami. "Transform." Rentei transformed into a katana, Nenekirimaru. "Bukyoku!"

"Ha!" Bukyoku and I took a swing at it. I am actually more of a supporting role, as my sealing and binding technique are much in higher level than my almost non-existence offensive technique. That's why I use Shikigamis. But, my supportive skills are weakened in this domain. My sword skill is really average. So, I didn't actually do much damage to it.

Bukyoku falls down to his knees. I can't call back Rokuson and Tanro because being blocked by its domain. The only way to counter domain expansion is to make my own.

I have tried a few times, but I always fail. This time… if I fail I will definitely die. "I won't die. I promised Suguru that I will stay by Satoru's side. Besides, as his owner, I can't die easily."

I released Rentei and made a hand seal. Chains start coming out from every direction, chaining the cursed spirit.

"Domain expansion, Shikigami no Hyakki Yako." In an instant the space around me changed shape again. This time, it's almost like a giant shrine. We are standing right on the Torii gate. The shrine's door opened. White mists spread out from the door, and something no, human skeletons fly out from the door, each skeleton wearing an onmyouji garb and forming a circle, trapping the cursed spirit.

"Harai tamae kiyome tamae, kyu kyu nyo ritsu yo." The skeleton shikigamis made a hand seal. Another layer of binding spell is casted. Sphere of lights concentrated above the cursed spirit, it took a shape of a giant spear. The light spear pierce down the cursed spirit and completely annihilate it.

Completely spent, my domain vanished, I can't even maintain Bukyoku. "Haa...haa...haa…" I panted. "I will become stronger. Strong enough so Satoru won't worry about me." My legs gave out due to exhaustion.

"Otto. Worrying about you is my job, [Name]-chan. No matter how strong you are, I won't stop worrying." Smell of Wisteria flooded my nose.

"I did it. Domain expansion." I gave him a weak smile.

"I know. You did a good job." He smiled, unlike the usual teasing or mocking smile. He gave me a genuine smile. A smile reserved only for me. "But, next time please exorcise it without injuring yourself." He said.

"...I am going to ignore you for the rest of the week, Satoru." I grumbled.

"Eeehhh~." Satoru whined.

Satoru gives me a piggyback ride. "[Name], are you alright?" Yae asked worriedly.

"....Except exhaustion, I am fine." I smiled weakly.

"Hisaki, are you alright? Did that monster get you?"

"I won't be here if it got me, idiot." I rolled my eyes.

"Hisaki, that was so cool. What was that deer and that wolf? Call them one more time."

"Hisaki."

"Hisaki."

They keep calling me, it's annoying. "Hai~" Satoru called out. "[Name]-chan is tired right now. So, no more questions." Satoru smiled.

"Hey, why are you wearing a blindfold?"

"Don't tell me he is your boyfriend. A blindfold? Is he blind? Lame."

"...Satoru, don't you dare lower your blindfold, or I am really going to ignore you." I muttered.

"Oya, don't tell me my cute [Name]-chan is jealous." He teased me. He knew exactly what my reaction would be. It usually will be, "I just don't want to handle another commotion. You stupid idiot." With deadpanned eyes and slightly blushing cheeks.

But, this time I promised I will be more honest with myself. "Un. I will be jealous. you are not allowed to look at other girls or women without your blindfold. No sunglasses too." I mumbled softly, just soft enough for him to hear.

It's only for a split second, but I feel his whole body freeze by my unexpected reply. "And don't add -chan to my name anymore." I jumped down from his back.

"I promise I will smack you guys. So, which idiot changed the location?" I looked at them.

All of them start looking at each other. Cearly no one wants to say anything. "You guys are lucky I am nearby. What if something happens to you guys? Think what your parents would think if you guys died earlier than them."

"You...You are an onmyouji, right? Then you have the duty to protect us." Yanagawa Yuriko stuttered.

"I-"

"We saved people who accidentally caught up in this mess. But, we are not obliged to save someone who courts death." Satoru said.

"H-Hmph. This is not your business, blindfold guy."

"Oh, this is my business. As an adult, I have the authority to report a group of kids who trespassed a forbidden entry building." Satoru flashed a smile as he showed them the number he called. 110

Their faces went pale. "Oi, you kids! what are you doing here? This is a forbidden entry building!" Local polices have come.

In the end, except for Yae and I. They are all being questioned by the police and writing an apology statement. After that, they are allowed to leave.~"~

Outside police box

"So… what advice did you give to her? She has become much more honest." Satoru looked at the girl beside him.

"I just told her to be more honest to herself or else you will slip away." Yae grinned as she looked at the newest picture of Megumi.

"Is that so? She was cute before. Right now, she has become cuter. What should I do?" He grinned.

"Well, I did manage to get from her, why she is not as clingy as she was as a kid." Yae put her phone in her pocket.

"Oh? Do tell me. I will get Megumi's sleeping face for you." He grinned. He knows of her infatuation with Megumi.

"Deal!" Yae exclaimed happily. "So, do you remember which woman that hung around you when we were in 6th grade? Apparently that woman told [Name] she was pitying you, because you will have to babysit her every time and hardly have time for yourself."

"A woman….?...Too many unimportant people hang around me."

"So, I told her it was just that woman's bullshit. She was definitely being rejected by you when she was trying to get into your pants and she doesn't need to care what other people are thinking, but what she wants."

"So, that woman was the reason. If not for her, then [Name] and I will be much closer already." Satoru whined.

"You are calling her without -chan. Why didn't you do it when you were calling for her?" Yae blinked.

"It's an adult's circumstances." He flashed a smile.

"....At least, wait for her until she is in legal age, okay." Yae sighed.

"Will try." ~"~

"Sorry for the wait." I exited the police box. The policewoman was kind enough to clean and bandage my wounds. Even though most of them are just scratches.

"It's almost 1 o'clock in the morning. What will you do?" Satoru asked Yae.

"I will sleepover in [Name]'s house." Yae yawned.

"I don't mind. Let's go." I smiled.

They start walking, but I still root on the spot. "[Name]-chan?" Satoru called.

"I can't walk. My legs hurt. Piggyback." I held out my hands.

Satoru grins widely. With a few large strides, he kneels down showing his back to me. His arms are around my knees and my hands loop around his neck. Smell of wisteria is flooding my senses. I start feeling sleepy. "Satoru…" I called.

"Hm?"

"I am not bothering you, right? ...You won't be angry if I am clingy, right?" My eyelids are starting to drop.

"Silly [Name]. I like it when you bother and cling to me." He laughed.

"I see… then,...I am...glad." I fell asleep as soon as I got it out of my mouth. ~"~

The whole month passes away in blur. Yae and I spent my whole summer break in Jujutsu High, just like every other year in the past. And I have been promoted to semi-second grade sorcerer by Shoko. Satoru celebrated it by buying sweets. Which is welcomed by us.

Now back to school. The rumour that I am an onmyouji has spread. Everyone will stare at me like I am some kind of rare animal in a zoo. And a lot of pointless requests flood in. 'I feel like I am haunted' or 'the hair of a Japanese doll in my house is getting longer' this kind of thing. In short, nothing is associated with cursed spirits.

Unlike when I was in school grader, where I was being driven to Jujutsu High after school. I was deemed good enough to live at my house again at the start of my middle school. So, no more Ijichi-san after school to escape from this rowdy crowd.

Hinako, Mikan and Sera started having lunch with Yae and I again after the whole kimodameshi fiasco. "[Name]-chan. That blindfold guy… don't tell me, is he the one that helped us in grade school?" Hinako asked.

"...I don't really remember that whole incident. But, I remember a pair of very handsome blue eyed onii-chan and black eyed onii-chan at that time." Sera said.

"Yes. That blindfold guy is the one from our grade school incident." Yae nodded.

"...Huh? Wait a moment. Was he your neighbour onii-chan back then? The one who Hinako called a liar?" Sera blinked.

"Correct." Yae nodded.

"....Was he also the one that came to your parent-teacher conference that time?" Hinako asked excitedly.

"Ah, yes. The very same." Yae nodded happily.

"...Why is Yae-chan the one answered?" Mikan sweatdropped.

I have long dropped into an annoyed mood. "How come this guy still causes trouble without him being here?" I grumbled.

"But, why is he wearing a blindfold? Did he have an accident?" Mikan frowned.

"Nope. He is wearing it for personal reasons." Yae laughed as she sneaked a glance to me. The rest of the girls are also shift their line sight to me, who is chomping on lunch, looking like someone ready to murder a certain someone.

*Bzzzz bzzz*

My phone vibrates, I frown as I unlock my phone. "❤ (ɔˆз(ˆ⌣ˆc)"

My phone vibrates again before I could type an answer. A familiar playful voice comes out from the phone. "[Name]-chan, I want a ki-"

"Satoru, as I thought, I am going to ignore you for the rest of the week.” I sulked.

“Eeeehhh? [Name]-chan~ don’t be so mean.” He whined.

“If you behave well, I will act scared when we watch horror movie."

"Roger. I am always well behaved." I can hear his grin from here.

"Is that so? Then, why are you still causing trouble without being here?" I raised my brows.

"It's because I am the most handsome Jujutsu sorcerer, Gojo Sa-"

"I am going to hang up."

"Wait! [Name]-chan. Don't be hasty."

"I am eating lunch."

"Aw, Is my cute [Name]-chan jealous again?"

“Geee….” The rest of the girls are staring at me.

"Yes. I am jealous. You do remember when you were in high school, you attracted a lot of people, from little girls, teenagers, carrier women, married women, and grannies. That's why I told you to wear your blindfold." I mumbled softly, so they won’t hear.

"Okay, [Name]-chan. I will behave really well. I will buy a lot of sweets for the movie night. Rather, I am going to buy them now. See you later." He hung up, I could clearly hear his proud big grin from here.

"Pffft." Yae trembled in laughter while the other three looked dumbfounded.

"Shut up." I chomped on my lunch, trying to ignore the burning feeling on my cheeks.

"[Name], what kind of kinky play you did?" Yae asked amused

"We are not doing some kinky play. We are just going to watch a movie." I retorted.

"...Why need to act scared? To you, a horror movie is something like comedy though." Yae raised her brows.

"If I don't do it. He won't stop doing some disgusting high-pitched voice." I replied.

"[Name]-chan, is he your boyfriend?" Sera asked.

"Soon to be. Well, they practically are. Just waiting to be labelled." Yae mused.

"So,[Name]-chan. Which part do you like from him?" They grinned slyly.

"I...don't want to answer." I dodged the question.

"Ehhh? You are no fun." Hinako pouted.

“Then, is that why he is wearing blindfold? Because [Name]-chan is jealous?” Mikan asked excitedly.

“Half of the reason. The other half is because his eyes are sensitive to light.” Yae conjured the lie.

“Well, I will be jealous too if he is handsome like that. I don’t want anyone look at him too.” Hinako said.

“Tell us your love story.” Sera exclaimed.

“No.” I refused.~"~

So, the graduation day has arrived. After receiving our diploma. We are at the school entrance, taking a picture with friends and family members. I have already decided to go to Jujutsu High, Yae and Hinako are going to the same school. Sera and Mikan are going to an all-girls school. We promised to hang out if we have time. Yae promised to spend all her school break in Jujutsu High, just for Megumi apparently.

Some of us (read: Yae) have received flowers from our juniors, and confessions from junior or classmates alike. Yae shot down everyone that confessed to her. "Yae-san, [Name]-san. Congratulations on your graduation." Megumi said as he handed us small bouquet of flowers.

"Thank you, Megumi." I smiled.

"Thank you, Megumi." Yae shot him a brilliant smile.

"By the way, [Name]-san, you are going to Jujutsu High, right?"

"Yes." I nodded. "Megumi also will be going there after you graduate middle school, right?"

"Yes. I plan to. By the way, [Name]-san, please put a leash on Gojo-sensei. He's annoying." Megumi deadpanned.

"....He is not a pet. But it's true he is annoying." I said.

"Hisaki-san!!" Someone called out.

I blink as someone I don't recognize is walking to me nervously. He is holding a diploma, that means he is also a graduating student.

"Yes?"

"Please go out with me!!" He said, quite loudly I might add. Might be due to nervousness, because his whole face and neck are red. Now the whole students are staring at us. The chatters stop as if waiting one of us to speak.

“Accept him.” One of the students said, maybe his friends?

“Accept him. Accept him.” Soon, all of them are cheering. Yae looks like ready to murder someone. “You all-“ Megumi quickly grabbed Yae’s hand and shook his head. He secretly motioning his head to a newcomer.

"Sorry, I-" I was wrapped in wisteria scent as I was pulled back to a familiar embrace.

"Sorry. This girl is my wife to be. Can you back off?" a playful light-hearted voice said.

"Eh?" (Me)

"Ha?" (Megumi)

"Ara… how quick. Congrats, I am waiting for the wedding." (Yae)

"EEEEHHHHH????" The whole students.

I tilt my head up to look at him wearing sunglasses, paired with a long-sleeved white t-shirt and pair of black slacks. His collarbone obviously exposed with the top button unbuttoned, and to finish off, he wears a more fashionable shades. His obviously grinning mischievous blue eyes stare back at me. "...Didn't I tell you not to wear sunglasses?" I raised my brow.

"But, I am meeting my [Name]-chan. Not some other girls. I have to show off sometimes too. To scare some pests." He grinned slyly. His mischievous bright blue eyes peeked out from his glasses.

"...."

"Congrats on your graduation." He patted my head. "As for your graduation gift…” He bent down so his mouth is next to my ears. “It will be me." He whispered in my ear.

As expected, right now, the female population is exclaiming how hot he is and is speculating our relationships. Didn’t they say he was lame last year? The boy in front of me too is frozen like a statue.

"You are saying this now?” I frowned.

“Hm?” He blinked at my quite unexpected reply.

“…Satoru… Aren't you already mine from the start. I mean, I am Gojo Satoru's owner." My lips curled up to a smile.

His face broke into a grin. "...Indeed." He laughed gleefully. "As expected from my wife to be."

"...Since when?"

"Eeeh? Didn't you say you will marry me? I was waiting." He whined. "Satoru, when I grow up, I will be your bride." He made that disgusting high pitched voice again.

"Maki, do you hold playful cloud. Can I borrow it. I want to smack it to Satoru's face." I am already in phone with Maki.

"Send the picture to me later." Maki said.

"[Name]-chan. You are so mean." The overgrown child whined.

"....Please talk about this kind of thing in a private place." Megumi said.

"Megumi, you are here too?" Satoru grinned.

"I will seriously punch you." Megumi said. "[Name]-san. Please control your pet."

“Truth to be told, Satoru’s entrance is quite normal.” I said.

“Which part of him is normal?” Megumi deadpanned. “But, considering his personality, this is really count as normal.” Megumi nodded.

“What kind of entrance you are thinking he would make?” Yae asked.

I look at the overgrown man, who put his head on the top of my head, casually leaning his weight to mine. “Actually, considering his personality, I was thinking he will come in holding some kind of musical instrument bag and say something let’s go home [Name]-chan, today I will have you master “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star.” Something like that.” I said.

“I see. This is more convincing.” They nodded.

“By the way Satoru, you are heavy.” I tried to free my trapped body.

“Nope.” So, the four of us are talking like the usual, completely ignoring the looks we are getting. And I too, completely forgotten I haven’t replied to the boy who has confessed to me.

“I am sorry. I can’t accept your confession. There will be someone who is better match for you. The world we are living is different.” I bowed a little.

“Eh? Ah. Yes.” He replied absentmindedly, obviously still shocked.

“Yae, Megumi. Let’s go home.”

“I will celebrate with Megumi alone. Satoru-san looks like he wants to take you to somewhere important.” Yae snickered. “I will celebrate with you later.” She smiled. “Let’s go Megumi.” Yae dragged the blushing boy away.

"Let's go home, Satoru." I sighed, dragging him away. He shamelessly intertwined his much longer fingers to mine.

I might not want him to attract annoying people. But the sight of Yuriko's face is refreshing. My lips curl to a smile.

"Are you happy that the gift is me?" He smirked.

"...Satoru… I am going to ignore you the whole week."

"Don't forget your promise, [Name]-chan. Tonight is movie night." He giggled.

"....I will try to act scared." I sighed. “So, where do you want to take me to? How come Yae know it?”

“You will know when we arrived.” He answered in a sing song voice. After a series of twist and turn from branded boutique to make-up salon. We have arrived in our destination. A high-class restaurant.

“…Why are we here?” I blinked.

“To celebrate your graduation of course.” Satoru chuckled at my dumb question.

“I thought we are having a movie night?” I looked at him. Again, he is drawing attention. “Haa…” I sighed.

“Don’t worry [Name]-chan, we are in private room.” He laughed as if he knew what was I thinking. I bet he knew.

We are guided to the private room. No, rather than private room, it’s more like a back garden. My eyes lit up, I take a few steps ahead. The garden is decorated beautifully. It feels like I step into some kind other realm. “You like it?”

“Yes.” I nodded, a delightful smile plastered on my face.

“That’s good.” we were seated in the middle of the garden. “You told me once you want to have dinner like this.” A cheshire cat grin on his face.

“I did?” I titled my head.

“Yep, you did.” He nodded.

“….” Who is this mature Satoru? I look at him blankly. “Satoru, did you eat wrong medicine today? Are you sick? Or perhaps you were cursed by cursed spirits?”

“How mean~. I am purrfectly fine. There’s no way I am cursed. I am the strongest. I just want to congrats my cute [Name]-chan for graduating middle school.” He pouted. His maturity has disappeared somewhere in the void.

“Thanks, Satoru.” I giggled. ~"~

[Name] 16 years old

Gojo Satoru 27years old

Geto Suguru 26 years old

"What… Did you say…?" I looked at the Masamichi sensei.

"Suguru is discovered near here and Satoru has gone to hunt him down." Sensei said one more time.

"...Satoru is hunting who…?" The world seems distorted. I put my hand on the table to steady myself. "No…" I whispered. I don't want them to fight. I don't want them to get hurt.

Few years after the incident of a star plasma vessel and the masacre in a small village. I understood why Suguru is doing this. Even so, I just don't want them to fight. Why… Why can we be together again? Just like that time. Before everything spiralled out of control.

I run out from the school. "Ijichi-san, take me to Suguru's location."

"I...am not sure where he is…"

"Then, just take me to the downtown." I said urgently. And to the downtown it is. I exit the car and start running. To where? I don't even know myself.

I don't know how long I ran. My feet seemed to bring me back to Satoru's house after aimlessly running on the street. "Satoru!" I threw open the door.

I panted as I tried to calm myself down. Satoru has just come out from shower judging by the wet hair and towel on his head. I ram myself to him, arms wrapping around his waist.

"What's wrong, [Name]-chan?" He patted my head. The usual Satoru will start teasing how much I miss him. The usual Satoru will grin and smirk at the sight of me coming to his house. The usual Satoru will… my body trembles, the tears I have been holding start flowing down, wetting his shirt. "Why are you crying again, hm?" His voice is getting softer.

"Because...hic...It's because… you didn't cry. Hic...so, I will cry… in your stead. Hic…" I hiccuped.

"...Thank you… for crying for me…"~"~

After a bout of crying, I freshen up in the shower. Even though we are neighbours, I think I spent a lot of time in Satoru's house. Half of my things are in the house. And no, we didn't sleep in the same bed anymore. I have my own room. So, the guest room became my permanent room.

"Let me dry your hair." Satoru grinned as I stepped into the living room. I sit on the couch, between his legs as he starts working his magic. Drying my hair.

The sound of the hairdryer died down. A pair of long arms wrapped around my shoulders. "Satoru…?"

"...Let me stay like this for a while… I will be back like the usual Gojo Satoru tomorrow. So… let's just stay like this for a while." Satoru murmured. His voice sounds so...broken. I have also noticed some tremble from his voice and his hands.

"Okay…"~"~

Gojo Satoru knew that Geto Suguru was lying. He knew it yet his hand shot through his friend's chest before he could stop it.

"If you didn't finish me now. The next target will be [Name]-chan. She has grown, hasn't she? The last descendant of Keikain onmyouji. I am sure she will be a great asset. At least her spiritual power is." Suguru sneered.

At that time Satoru only saw red, he must kill Suguru before he could do anything to her. And so, when he came to his hand has shot through his former partner's chest.

Suguru slump on his shoulder. "Listen well...Satoru… Protect [Name]…. As she grows up...her power...will attract...a lot of...trouble… Some...disgusting...old farts...higher ups… also consider her...to bear some...children…for them… Don't...ever let...them...lay hand...on her…. Or...I'll...come back….as cursed spirit...to haunt...you…"

"I promise… I won't let them lay hands on her...ever."

"That's...good...I'll...be...going….first...partner…" Geto Suguru breathed his last.~"~

[Name] 17 years old

Gojo Satoru 28 years old

I sit on bed, frowning. I have a feeling something really bad will happen soon. It makes me feel restless and anxious. "[Na~me]-chan. What are you thinking about?" Satoru poked my forehead.

"No...it's just I feel so uneasy and restless these days. I just have a feeling something bad will happen. I feel like I won't see you anymore." I bit my lips.

"I am not going anywhere." He sat down beside me and pulled me to his lap. His sunglasses are gone. "Even if by chance I go somewhere, I'll definitely be back to your side." He pressed a kiss to my forehead.

"...Aren't you supposed to say you are going to take me along." I pouted.

"Well, I can't take you along if I am going somewhere dangerous." He laughed.

"Hearing this from you makes me mad." I huffed.

"Eeehhh?"

"Because it feels like you are saying, I am weak." I mumbled.

"Well, you are weaker than me." He grinned. In retaliation, I pound his chest, which only serves him to laugh harder.

"But, I will certainly be back to your side. This is a promise and I am not lying. You do know I will never lie to you." He flashed me his cocky smirk.

"I know. I just don't like it if something were to happen to you." I rested my head on his broad shoulder.

"Nothing will happen to me. I am the strongest jujutsu sorcerer, Gojo Satoru." He laughed, his arm slipped under my shirt and was resting on my bare stomach.

"What are you doing, Satoru?"

"The mood is perfect." He grinned. His bright blue eyes are sparkling with mischief. "I have endured well all these years. So, I think it's time I get my reward, don't you think so?"

"Then...close your eyes." I muttered shyly.

"...." Satoru only looked at me with amusement.

"I know your six eyes will see everything, but just close your eyes." I grumbled.

"You do know that's a really pointless request. Since I can see anything, why not let me see." His smirk is back.

"S-shut up! Just close your eyes." I stuttered. My face is all red. I don't need a mirror to know.

"Okay." He relented and closed his eyes anyway.

For a good pointless measure, I cover his closed eyes with my palm and press a quick kiss to his lips.

"Y...you can open your eyes now." I stuttered. I am fidgeting right now. My eyes averted his.

"That was quite a different reward than what I had in mind. Surely, you have thought this much wouldn't satisfy me, [Name]."

When Satoru called me without any honorifics, it sent shivers down my spine, in a lot of ways. I know he wouldn't be satisfied. But, I am afraid… what if my body shape is not to his liking, what if my breasts are too small. I become self conscious. I am still wearing clothes, but I feel like I am already stark naked under his eyes. Is this some kind of Six Eyes special ability too?

"You are worrying about strange things again, aren't you? Don't think about anything else. Just think about me."

Without any warning, his lips crash down to mine. Eagerly devouring and claiming what is his. His slick tongue forced my cavern to open. "!!!" Without wasting any chance, he slipped into my mouth. "....nnn…" His slick muscle explore everything he can touch.

His scent, the familiar wisteria scent flooded all my senses. It makes my senses go into overdrive. I can't see, feel or smell anything except for him. I feel like drowning in his essence. My hands clench to a fists, grasping his clothes in my hand, making wrinkles on his perfectly ironed shirt. I stopped breathing some time ago, and now my brain is in need of oxygen. My hands are pushing him away to let me breathe.

"Breath through your nose, [Name]." He separated our lips to say that before he went back devouring it. His thumb is caressing my stomach, while the other is firmly around my waist, preventing me from escaping.

After what seemed like eternity, the kiss ceased. I pant for the much needed oxygen. My eyes watery and hot blush is coating my cheeks. The silvery string of broken saliva is the only evidence of that heated kiss, and the first evidence of many to come.

"Satoru…" I panted. My own pink muscle lolled out for him. I can clearly see every emotion he holds for me. Desire, lust, possessiveness, greed, gentleness and the glorified love. He wants to drown me in his essence and he will. "Satoru…"

"Hm?" His hand came up to hold my face. Thumb swiping my swollen lips.

"...please, be gentle with me."

And….I unknowingly set off the caged beast inside him.

��         Omake

How is the movie night is actually going.

First half of the story.

“Sa-Satoru, I am scared!” I clung to his arm tightly. We are sitting on the couch with sweets littered on the coffee table.

“Don’t worry, [Name]-chan. It’s not scary at all. You see, the protagonist will be stabbed by the ghost.” He grinned fully enjoying this,”

“Why are you spoiling the story?” I hit his arm.

Second half of the story.

“Satoru, will the ghost die or the heroine die?” I asked as I munched a pocky stick. Our position has changed. Somehow, I am now sitting between his legs, still on the couch.

“They will die together.” He grabbed my hand with pocky stick and moved it to his mouth.

“Satoru, take your own sweets.” I rolled my eyes.

Credits rolling.

I have fallen asleep in that position, not caring how the story ended or post credit scene. One good thing about Satoru is he is nice makeshift pillow. I vaguely heard a good night and a forehead kiss, before I completely fallen to deep sleep.

[ashintheairlikesnow]

📋 Hello I am putting a formal request in for more Chris Saves Himself AU ft Mama Nakamura taking him I’m home only to realize the full situation

Continuing the Chris Saves Himself AU: One | Two |

CW: Grief, memory loss, recovering whumpee, some very brief and very vague references to noncon, minor whumpee (OC is 17), angsty fluff, reunion

It takes six days for the cops to let Akio's mom bring Tristan back to their house.

He's ready to be discharged from the hospital by day two, but there's nowhere for him to go. WRU is still saying there's no record of his existence, even with the barcode on his wrist. Tristan's only known living relative, Joanne Botham, is claiming he ran away from home and she had no idea what happened to him, that what she had told the Nakamura family was out of frustration and anger at Tristan for disappearing. The governor is out on bail facing charges for keeping Tristan in the mansion in the first place.

There are a lot of charges.

Akio feels by turns numb and enraged when he hears a news anchor read them out loud, bloodless words that don't seem to reflect at all how serious their meanings are.

The first few, he can process - false imprisonment, bodily assault - but then they keep going, and they get worse in ways Akio can barely even begin to imagine.

What Tristan has lived through... Akio's brain refuses to let it coalesce fully, but he has nightmares, dreams about Tristan screaming for him and being on the other side of a door Aki can't open.

He dreams about hands on Tristan's body and the way he might have screamed for help. Akio wakes up crying, retching, running to the bathroom to throw up whatever he's eaten that day as if he can rid himself of the poison of knowing.

His mom calls a therapist.

His father tells him to stop watching the news.

Akio just waits until they're in bed and searches for everything he can find on twitter, on reddit, on every-fucking-place anyone is talking about this. And it's everywhere.

He stops telling his parents about his nightmares after the second night.

Oliver Branch says WRU sold him a product they knew was outside the bounds of the law and lied to him about it. WRU says they don't know what he could possibly mean by that and they have no paperwork or documentation that Tris was ever in the system at all, and if he was, then there must have been a mistake about his age. They swear they'll do a total review of every single Box Boy, Babe, or Buddy to ensure absolute compliance.

The soundbites make Akio's mouth dry.

How many are there, then? If they have to keep looking to find more? How many like Tristan?

How many?

Joanne Botham, who never answers Aimi's furious calls and then changes her number after the second day, goes on TV and says she did nothing wrong and there's no proof that anything happened except maybe Tristan lying about his name and age to make WRU agree to take him in. Oliver Branch says he has the proof WRU knew, and he'll provide it in exchange for immunity.

They all point fingers at each other on national television, in press conferences and through their attorneys.

Through it all, Tristan sits in a hospital bed staring out the window at the blue sky as though it will be stolen from him all over again, waiting to be told where to go, what to do.

And it takes Aimi nearly a week to get the police to agree to allow her to take him home. She brings everything she can think of to meetings with the detectives heading up the case, shows them reams of team photos and home movies, folders and folders of everything Aimi and Mrs. Higgs had ever talked about or done together with the boys.

The hospital needs the room, needs the bed. The detectives don't want to put him into foster care when he barely seems to understand he's a person. The social services people won't take him because they're not equipped to handle a situation like this one. The adjustment houses don't want him because of something to do with what kind of Boxie he was, and Aimi doesn't elaborate and something in the set of her expression makes it clear Akio shouldn't ask.

After a week of mostly just being able to look at him through the small little square window in the hospital room's door, Aimi finally gets legal permission to take him out of there.

Akio isn't prepared for the slew of news vans that are there when he and Aimi arrive, someone having tipped off reporters that they might get a glance of the governor's secret Box Boy today. Aimi, though, simply sets her shoulders, slides a pair of dark sunglasses on, and walks through the crowd like a queen with her head held high, a small duffel bag handle in hand.

Akio hurries behind her, hands in his pockets and shoulders hunched, hood pulled over his head, trying to ignore ten thousand camera flashes. It's so much worse than the leadup to the Olympics would have been, if he were still performing at elite.

Or at all.

He has a strange, surreal hope that Tris won't be disappointed in him for quitting after Tris died.

Even though he's not dead.

They step into the hospital room around 10 in the morning to find Tristan not in the bed, but sitting on the couch built into the wall under the window, curled up on the crinkly plastic cushions to look out the window, humming low, soft and tuneless.

The hum makes Akio's heart ache with a sudden realization that this odd waking dream he's been living for a week isn't a dream at all. Tears flood his eyes and he has to blink them away as fast as he can. He's heard that hum in his ear as kids during sleepovers, he's heard it when Tris was nervous before performing a new routine, he's heard it while they waited anxiously for scores or studied for school.

"Hey, sweetheart," Aimi says, her voice low and soft, but even so Tris jumps and turns to look at them with wide, startled eyes. One hand goes up to his neck, and Akio swallows when he sees Tris has wrapped gauze around his neck to sit like the collar he was wearing when he fell from the governor's bedroom balcony.

Akio watched the cell phone video that made the rounds over and over and over again. The flash of red hair, shirtless, the bruises he was covered with, his hazy drugged eyes. Over and over and over again.

Watch him fall, watch him land, watch the people run to him and get him out of there when Akio has been sitting here crying his eyes to red half the time for a dead best friend who wasn't dead at all.

"H, Hello," Tristan says, but he doesn't know them. Akio can tell, the way his eyes move between them is uncertain, unsure. "Hello, ma'am. Can, can, can I, what..." He swallows, shivering, and Akio watches the fear move across his face. "What... what can I... do for you?"

His slowed-down voice makes Akio feel sick. He's only ever seen Tristan do that when he's with people who don't understand him or love him for who he is. Now it seems like it's the only way he remembers how to talk.

All Tristan's muscles from gymnastics are gone, leaving only faded shadows of his strength behind. He's skinny, so pale he nearly reflects the light from the ceiling. His freckles are faded, and his hair is shorter than Tris ever liked it.

Being so thin makes his eyes even bigger, they seem to overwhelm the rest of his face.

"Honey, we're going to take you to our house," Aimi says, keeping her voice the same low gentle cadence. "While we figure out what happens next. Aki and I will be taking care of you for a while. How's that sound? Would that be okay?"

Tristan looks between them again, and something shifts in his face. A kind of desperation moves there, and he turns more fully to face them, leaning over a little to look up at them. Hair falls over his forehead, and his hands move to rub over the texture of a loose pair of sweatpants someone gave him to wear under his hospital gown. "To... your house? Would I be... yours?"

He looks at Akio again, and there's something in his face that says he sees that as the best case scenario, that he was ready for far, far worse than simply changing owners. That he's... hoping he'll be Akio's property now.

Akio's stomach flips at the thought and he has to put a hand over his mouth and turn away, catching the sob before it can make its way up out of his throat.

Aimi's arm moves around his shoulders instinctively, and she leans over, pressing a kiss to her son's short black hair. "It's okay," Aimi whispers. "It'll be hard at first. But it's going to be okay, Aki. Saishūtekini wa daijōbudesu. Tristan wa mada anata no shin'yūdesu."

Tristan, sitting on the little couch, blinks a few times. "Friend," he says in English, a little haltingly. "Shin' yu. Means... best friend." He scoots closer to them along the couch, and his eyes are so big and so very, very green. Just how Akio always remembered them.

Aimi's head raises and turns to look at him, her arm tightening around Aki, breath catching in her throat. "You remember that?"

"No." Tristan shakes his head. Scoots a little closer, even. "Yes. I don't know why. Are you..." He looks at Akio. "Wa-... watashitachiha... sh-shin, um, shin-shin'yūdeshita. Yes? Did I-... did I say it right?"

Tristan's Japanese was never great, he'd just picked up some here and there from all the time he spent around the Nakamuras at home and in their car. They used to lay awake at night during sleepovers practicing over and over until Tristan had a new phrase to impress Aimi with.

But hearing his voice, his living breathing real live voice, sounding out the words...

It's too much.

It's too fucking much.

"Yeah, um, y-yeah, you-..." Akio's words are suddenly gone. He chokes on his fear that this somehow is a dream he will wake up from to find Tris still cold in some unknown open grave, and he can't keep the tears back any longer.

His knees buckle under the onslaught of grief and hope and fear and love, and he drops to the cold tile hospital floor, hands pressed over his mouth until his lips are pushed painfully into his teeth, and he wails, muffled but loud enough that there's rustling as the cops guarding the door turn to look inside through the viewing window.

Aimi drops into a crouch behind him, rubbing at his back as he curls over himself. Her voice trembles with tears she doesn't shed. Akio remembers the days after they were told Tristan was dead, how she would cry in her room at night with Aki's dad when he was home from work, but somehow when he and Emi were bawling their heads off, her voice stayed calm, she kept her composure.

Right up until she was alone.

Now, though, she's barely hanging on as her son sobs on a hospital room floor before the emptied-out shell of his best friend.

Bare feet pad along the floor until Tristan drops down in front of him, reaching slowly out. Cool fingertips touch the back of Akio's hand, and he pulls them slowly down to look and see Tristan only a foot or so away from him, kneeling, watching him.

"I know you," Tristan whispers. "It hurts, but... I know... you. Don't, um, don't I?"

Akio can barely see him through the tears that have turned the world to watercolor suggestions. Nothing's in focus. But he grabs onto Tristan's hand, those familiar always-cold fingers, and holds tight.

"You know m-me," He manages. "You do, Tris. You know me. We-... we know you. We want to t-t-take you h-home."

Tristan tilts his head to the side, and it's such a familiar gesture, one he was so sure he'd never get to see again. "My... name is Baldur," He says, softly. "My Sir named me-"

"Please don't call him that. Can you... can you answer to Tristan? Please?" Akio is the one to reach out this time, touching Tristan's shoulder, hesitant. Waiting for him to pull back and away, to flinch like he's been doing when they watch him with the nurses.

Instead, Tris takes a breath and leans into the touch.

"It hurts," He says. "But, but, but, but-... but I can try."

Akio nods, and then Tristan is moving forward, and their arms are around each other and Akio is scared of himself for a second, scared of the welling of feelings he can't control. He's afraid he'll crack Tristan's ribs with how tightly he holds on.

Tristan's face buries itself against his neck, into the crook of his shoulder.

"I missed you so much," Akio whispers against the coppery hair. He's going to start crying again. He can hear his mom sniffing behind him, digging into her purse to pull out the little pack of tissues she always has in there. "I missed you so, so much, Tris."

"I think... I think I, I, I missed you, too," Tristan whispers back, and Akio isn't sure if he can even know if he means it, but he also knows that it's so good to hear the words that he doesn't even care.

-

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