thedeadthree · 1 year ago
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yk what for funsies i want to make the w*itcher clowns with the b*g3 character creator
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juniperskye · 2 months ago
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Let’s start over.
Sneak peek: Aaron and Reader were together back when she was finishing her bachelor’s degree. It went on for a bit until Aaron started to pull away – after confronting him, you called things off. Years later you return to Quantico to streamline the new child crimes unit which will work directly with the BAU. Aaron is surprised to see you and asks you to dinner…some shocking secrets are revealed. (There are timeline edits to this story to fit my vision okay?!)
Aaron Hotchner x (Fem) Reader
Angst/Fluff
Word count: 5301
Part 2: bonus scenes
REQUESTS ARE OPEN - not edited - please be kind. Requests are open and feedback is welcome if it's constructive!
Warnings: My blog is 18+, minors DNI, age gap (reader is in their 20’s and Hotch is in his 40’s), explicit language, keeping a child a secret, Hotch not being the best partner (past), description of BAU and other FBI units – some canon typical subject matter, OC’s Nora (child) Theo and Leila (agents), mention of hospitals, and mention of febrile seizure, mention of Jack, mention of Haley (their relationship timeline was adjusted to make this work – they separated when Jack was like 2-3 y/o) let me know if I missed any!
I do not consent to having my work translated or reposted to any other site. That being said I do not own the characters portrayed in this story.
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** 5 Years Ago, **
“Aaron would you please just tell me what’s going on!” You pleaded.
“Nothing. I told you to just drop it. Nothing is wrong.” Aaron snapped.
Things had been like this for the past few weeks. Aaron was being short with you, snippy about menial things that had never bothered him before. You couldn’t figure out what was going on, it had truly begun to weigh heavily on your relationship.
“We both know that’s bullshit. Why won’t you just talk to me?” You were practically begging him at this point.
“Jesus Christ, would you just let it the fuck go. I said I don’t want to talk. Why is that so hard for you to understand?” Aaron shouted. “Maybe Dave was right.” He mumbled.
“Right about what?” Your voice came out much smaller than intended.
“Maybe you’re too young, too immature. You just don’t understand the stress I’m under.” Aaron huffed out a sigh.
Aaron and you had been together for nearly two years. Initially it had been more of a fling due to the fact that he was teaching a course you were taking to complete your bachelor’s degree. He and you took things to the next level once you’d graduated and now you were about to complete your master’s degree. You loved Aaron, but with how things had been going for the last few months, you couldn’t help but wonder if that was enough.
“I don’t know if I can do this anymore.” You whispered.
“So what?  We get in a little fight and you’re going to throw a tantrum?” Aaron spat pure venom.
“A tantrum?” You said, exasperated. “Aaron I’m not a toddler kicking and screaming because I am not getting my way. I’m a grown ass woman asking for some healthy communication in our relationship. We haven’t had a real conversation in months, and I don’t think I can go on like this.” You gasped, the realization finally hitting you…this had to end.
“Sweetheart, we can work this out. I’m sorry okay?” Aaron reached for you.
“No…” You took a retreating step, your back making contact with the back of your sofa. “I think it’s too late Aaron. And honestly it’s rich that you called me immature, when you are so emotionally stunted. You refuse to act your own age and talk things through. Instead, you bottle things up and push away anyone who cares about you. I won’t be your punching bag anymore, I have too much respect for myself.” Your tears had finally broken free, trailing down your cheeks clouded with black from your mascara.
“So that’s it then? We’re done?” Aaron scoffed.
“I guess that’s it.” You gasped.
With that, Aaron grabbed his bag and left. Pausing for a second, before shaking his head and making his leave. The moment you heard the lock click, your knees gave out and you collapsed to the floor as sobs ripped through your body. You laid there for what felt like days, broken and devastated by the loss of what you presumed was your forever. He was gone and you’d have to move on, something you weren’t sure was possible in that moment.
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** Present Day **
“Hello? … This is she … Oh! Director Cruz … yes I am getting everything ready. … I can’t thank you enough for this opportunity, truly. … Of course, thank you. … Alright, I will see you Monday. … Thank you … Bye.” You were practically buzzing as you hung up the phone.
“Was that bossman?” Hestia questioned.
“Yes it was! He was checking in and making sure I have everything I need before I start on Monday!” You gushed.
“I can’t believe you are moving back to Virginia. I am going to miss you so, so much!” Hestia whined.
“I am going to miss you too! But it’ll only be like a month until you join me…right?” You inquired.
“Yes! My lease is up then and as long as you’re still cool with us staying with you guys until we find our own place, we will be there!” She explained.
“Ummm of course you guys can stay with us! Free childcare…I’d be an idiot to pass that up!” You laughed as Hestia threw a pillow at you.
You were actively packing up your life and preparing to move back to Virginia. You hadn’t been back there in nearly five years. After breaking things off with Aaron and completing your master’s degree, you’d looked into PhD programs around the U.S. and had ultimately decided on the child psychology program at Colombia University, and while New York wasn’t too far from Virgina, it at least put space between you and Aaron. 
About eight months after you and Aaron had broken things off, Nora had come as quite a surprise. Despite the shock that was brought on by your pregnancy, Nora had become the greatest gift you could’ve asked for. Having Hestia around to make up for your lack in baby daddy had brought the two of you incredibly close together.
You had met Hestia in a pretty unconventional way, she was one year into her residency for general surgery, and you had appendicitis. So, she worked hand-in-hand with the surgeon who removed your appendix, and well, the rest had been history. She’s been with you through everything in the last four years, most importantly, she’s helped you raise Nora. You’d been sure to repay the favor, especially within the last year…Hestia’s mom had passed, leaving her 15-year-old sister in her care. The four of you had become your own little family.
“So, what’s your plan tomorrow?” Hestia asked.
“Oh, my parents flew in last week and they drove most of my stuff down on Tuesday. My mom said she wanted it to be set up for us, so we’d be able to move right in, especially since I start work immediately. So, I am just getting the last few things together today and we will head down tomorrow, and I guess we will finish getting everything set up this weekend. They’re staying with me, pretty much until you and Selene can come out. They don’t want me to have to put Nora in daycare.” You explained.
“Aw, I’m so glad they’re able to do that! I know by then you’ll be ready to have them out of your hair, but it is nice that you won’t have to leave her with strangers right away.” Hestia patted your leg. “I do have a question for you though…are you at all worried about running into your ex?”
“I don’t even know if he still works there Hes, it’s a huge place. Who’s to say we even see each other at all?” You shrug.
“You are so full of shit!” Hestia laughs. “Don’t act like you didn’t check to see if he’s still there.”
“Ugh! Yes he’s still the unit chief of the BAU! Of course I looked. And yes. I am terrified, Director Cruz said my unit will most likely work with the BAU more than any other team and I’m not sure I can handle that.” You groaned.
“You can’t avoid him forever babe. Are you going to tell him about Nora?”
“Hes, I don’t even know how I would begin to tell him.” You shook your head. “We ended horribly and she’s four now. What if he freaks out?”
“I mean he might. Hon, you have to tell him, she’s his daughter you know… I don’t think there’s an easy way to do it. Like it’s gonna be ugly no matter what. But at least you’re telling him.” Hestia reasons.
You knew she was right, you had to tell Aaron about Nora, but honestly it could wait. You had an entire unit to run, and you couldn’t let your fear of seeing him and having that conversation distract you from the important work you’d be doing.
Monday came far too quickly. Your parents had been a huge help, and the house was almost completely unpacked. Nora had settled in well with them being there with you both, and you were incredibly grateful to them for supporting you.
You had gotten up early to make breakfast and eat with Nora before heading into the office. When you walked into the FBI building, you made your way to the front desk to get your ID and then headed to the director’s office.
“Welcome! We are so glad to have you and your team joining us at the FBI. Child crimes is something that has needed an official unit for far too long, I am just happy to have you leading it.” Director Cruz greeted you.
“Thank you Director, it is truly an honor to have been asked to lead this team. From my understanding, Theo and Leila will be here tomorrow to begin officially.”
“That’s correct. I want to go over some logistics with you before I show you to your office. As of right now your team will just be the three of you, if we see a need to expand, we will. I am going to assign you and your agents each a specific unit for if you are needed in more than one place. You will be the point person for the Behavioral Analysis Unit and the Sex Crimes Unit, Leila will take point with Violent Crimes and Theo will take point with Cybercrimes. I anticipate that your team will work closest with the BAU and SCU.” Director Cruz explained.
“That all sounds good sir. Are the Unit Chiefs of these departments all aware of our arrival? I just want to ensure they will be prepared to work with us and that there won’t be too much pushback.” You posed.
“I understand. Yes, they have all been informed of your team’s arrival and I have made it very clear that their cooperation is nonnegotiable. At the end of the day, we all have the same goal, so hopefully there will be very little pushback from our agents.” Director Cruz reassured you. “Are you ready to see your office now?”
“Yes sir, thank you.”
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Stepping off the elevator onto the sixth floor, you immediately took note of the directory sign listing that the BAU was housed on this floor. It made your stomach churn, knowing that you would most definitely see Aaron every day… not to mention in like the next few minutes.
“Okay so, through this door here is where the BAU is, as I mentioned before. There are two open desks down in the bullpen there for Theo and Leila, and your office is just there. You will be between agents Hotchner and Rossi.” Director Cruz noted as you entered your office. “I’d like to introduce you to agent Hotchner before I let you settle in; I think it is important given how frequently you’ll be working together.”
“Of course, sir.” You nodded.
The ten steps it took to get from your office to his felt like an eternity. You felt sick knowing that you’d have to face the man that had broken you all those years ago. You may have ended things with him officially, but he had truly ended it when he decided that you weren’t worthy of communicating with. At this point you were just hoping that he’d grown up in that area, because you really needed him to take the news of Nora well.
“Agent Hotchner, I have the new child crimes unit chief here for you to meet.” And before Director Cruz could give Aaron your name, it escaped his own lips, framed by his shocked expression. “Oh, you two know each other?”
“Agent Hotchner was a guest lecturer for one of my undergrad courses. He was my inspiration for entering this field.” You supplied.
It wasn’t a total lie…
“Yes, she was a bright student. I’m not surprised to see that she made it to the FBI.” Aaron added.
“Alright then, I will leave you to catch up then.” With that, the Director made his way back to his office.
“How um…how are you?” Aaron inquired.
“I’m well Aaron. I don’t really think anymore small talk is necessary. I should go get settled into my office.” You huffed out a breath before exiting the room.
You made sure to take your time getting settled. Placing some personal things out on your desk and shelves. You had a few plants, some of your favorite pens, some file folders, you hung up your degrees, you organized your psychology books on the shelves along with some law books, and the last, most important detail was a framed photo of you and Nora that you sat next to your lamp.
The day had sped by as you made yourself comfortable on the couch in your office while reading through some emails from other units and some case files of theirs from previous cases to see how they typically ran things. You had been trekking along just fine until a quite knock broke your concentration. Looking up, you weren’t entirely surprised to see it was Aaron standing there.
“I just wanted to check in and see how you were doing. It’s almost eight.” Aaron informed you.
“Oh shit! I didn’t even realize!” You scrambled to check your phone.
“I know that you said small talk wasn’t necessary, and I agree. I would however really like to take you to dinner to catch up, and maybe I can explain some things.” Aaron requested.
“Oh, I um. I’m not sure that’s a good idea…I uh-”
“Please. I really need to explain myself, for how awful I was back then. No excuses, just maybe it’ll help you see my point of view. I’ve worked on myself a lot since then.” Aaron pleaded.
“I have to make a call first.” You conceded.
“Of course. I’ll give you some privacy.” He exited your office.
You quickly called your mom, letting her know that you were going to dinner with a coworker, asking her to take care of the remainder of Nora’s bedtime routine. You also had to inform her you wouldn’t need to be picked up. After which you spoke to Nora wishing her a good night and giving her a kiss through the phone. You then gathered your belongings and met Aaron in the bullpen.
“So, I don’t have my car. My parents are in town, they helped me move, so I left my car with them.” You explained sheepishly.
“No worries, if you’re comfortable with it, I can drive us. I can take you home after as well.” Aaron offered.
“Yeah, that would be great. Thank you.” You offered a gentle smile.
Aaron gestured you to the elevator and you made your way down to the parking garage. Aaron, ever the gentleman made sure to open the car door for you, both in the garage and again at the restaurant. There was a tinge of sadness that flooded your mind as you noticed where Aaron took you.
It had been your go to for date nights back when you were together. It was a recommendation from Dave – who you couldn’t help but feel a bit of resentment toward given the “too young” comment. You wondered if Aaron brought you here on purpose, and he must’ve picked up on your thought.
“I’m sorry, I don’t know why I drove us here. I guess it was muscle memory.” He shook his head.
“It’s okay. I’ve missed the food honestly.” You let out a little chuckle.
“I have too. I uh, I haven’t been here since we ended.” Aaron’s voice trailed off toward the end of his statement.
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You were relieved that the night hadn’t been filled with awkward silence. It had, however, been a lot of catching up while Aaron avoided the main reason he brought you here and you avoided talking about Nora. You were both saved by the waiter when he came by to get your order.
“Would you like to see the wine list?”
“No thank you. I’ll just have water.” You were quick to answer.
“Water is fine for me also.” Aaron added.
“Are you ready to order your entrees then?”
“I will have the Mezzi Rigatoni, and she will have the Ricotta Cavatelli.” Aaron declared.
The waiter nodded and walked off. You couldn’t help but look at Aaron with a bit of shock. It is what you always ordered, so you couldn’t be mad, but it felt foreign and all too familiar at the same time. He always ordered for you when you used to go out, he used to know you better than you knew yourself…but that was then.
“I’m so sorry – I don’t know why I did that” Aaron was quick to apologize “Maybe coming here was a bad idea. It’s all too familiar.”
“It’s okay Aaron. I was going to order it anyway. Maybe we should talk about why we’re here.” You suggested.
“Of course. I want to explicitly state that I am not trying to make excuses for how I acted then, because I know I was horrible to you in the end. I do just want to give you some insight as to what I was going through at that time. I really want to communicate now what I didn’t then.” He began.
You nodded for him to continue as the waiter brought your food and drinks.  
“So, you know that Haley and I divorced before you and I got together officially. Well once you and I became serious and my time was either spent at work or with you and Jack, Haley didn’t seem to like that. She uh, she tried to fight me for primary custody of Jack.” Aaron explained.
“What? Aaron why didn’t you tell me?”
“Honestly, because I knew you’d take a step back in our relationship. I knew that with how selfless you are, you’d offer to back off and give me more time with Jack and I didn’t want that. I wanted to have you and Jack, so I kept it to myself. Which broke us anyway.” He concluded.
“I really wish you would’ve told me; things may have been different Aaron. I am glad you’re telling me now though.” You desperately wanted to reach for his hand but ultimately decided against it.
Now was as good a time as any, you had to tell him about Nora. He confessed something and it was your turn. And just as you were about to open your mouth, a shrill ring sounded from Aaron’s coat pocket.
“Hotchner. Yes…CCU as well? Yes – I’m with their unit chief now. We’re on our way.” Aaron hung up the phone and looked over at you. “Is your team here in Virginia?”
“Yes, they’re not meant to start until tomorrow.” You provided.
“Call them in, we have a case. Time is of the essence.” Aaron signaled for the check.
The two of you contacted your respective teams as you made your way back to the car. Aaron once again opened your door for you and drove you back to the office. You texted your parents and informed them of the case and asked your mom to let Nora know you’d be home as soon as you could.
30 minutes later you were on a private jet to Chicago with your team and the entirety of the BAU. You had unintentionally sat beside Aaron and began going over the case details with everyone. Aaron had begun explaining the preliminary profile, and you couldn’t help but chime in. Everyone was watching how the two of you riffed and bounced ideas off of one another so naturally.
“Just a reminder, there are new protocols for entry into the crime scene when we are locating the children. We need to follow those exactly to ensure we don’t harm these children more so than they are already. If you have any questions about those procedures feel free to ask me or my agents.” You instructed.
“Right. Now for assignments, Dave, JJ and Theo I’d like you to interview the family of the latest victim –”
“Molly Leland.” You corrected.
“Apologies. Dave, JJ, Theo go to the Leland’s and find out anything you can. Morgan, Prentiss and Leila, you three go to the abduction site, I want to ensure CSU didn’t miss anything. And Reid you’ll be with us at the station to start on the geographical profile.” Aaron finished, gesturing to the two of you.
Six days. It had been six days, and you still hadn’t made any progress on this case. Another child had gone missing, and things were incredibly tense. Both teams had been in the designated room within the precinct going over theories.
“I think we’re looking at this all wrong…” Leila began, “I think the person abducting these kids is younger than initially profiled.”
“Given their disorganization and the lack of consistent victimology, I’d say that’s a pretty plausible theory.” Spencer validated.
“Okay, Leila what were you thinking?” You inquired.
“What if it is a teenager? My thoughts were a kid who grew up in foster care – hence the random victimology. They just want siblings, and that’s why there aren’t any bodies.”  Leila suggested.
“I think she’s onto something. If it was a young adult who was newly alone in the world, they’d be looking to find people to surround themselves with.” Morgan continued.
“Garcia, run a search for kids that just aged out of group homes and foster care.” Aaron called to their technical analyst.
“Within the geographical limits I just sent over to you.” Spencer added.
When your phone rang, you excused yourself from the room, answering the call from your mom. You could immediately tell something was wrong given the slight lilt to her voice.
“Mom, what’s wrong?...Why do you need the children’s Tylenol. … Fever? What’s her temperature? … 103? MOM! You need to take her to the ER. … I’m serious! … I’m coming home. … Yes! … I’ll be there as soon as I can. … Take her straight to Bethesda. …Ok. Bye.”
You turned and jumped in surprise at Aaron standing there behind you.
“I just came to let you know we’re splitting up to check out a few leads. Is everything okay?” He asked.
You could tell he had more questions and that he’d more than likely heard the entirety of your conversation but was holding back in asking them.
“Um no. My daughter is sick. She has a pretty high fever. I uh, I need to get home.” You panicked.
“Okay. We will get you home then. I’ll send the teams out and I will make some calls. For now, just try to stay positive okay?” Aaron had always been the calm in the storm.
He sent three separate groups out to find the unsub and had made a few calls back to the director to get you on an emergency flight home. He went as far as to drive you to the hotel and then to the hangar.
“Aaron.”
“Get home to your daughter.” He offered a small smile.
“Thank you.”
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Leila had texted to update you that they had caught the unsub and would be heading home in the next hour or so. You had been grateful that the team had successfully closed the case. What was killing you, was the state of your baby girl. She had an excessively high fever, and it just wouldn’t break.
“Miss, there’s someone here to see you.” The nurse informed you.
You looked over at your mom who gave you a nod and you exited the room. Following the nurse to the waiting room, you were surprised to see Aaron standing there.
“I just wanted to see how she’s doing, and how you are.” He declared.
“I um. I’m…” You couldn’t help but break down.
Aaron immediately pulled you into his arms and moved you both over to a couch in the waiting area. He let his hand brush over your hair and whispered reassurances to you. The two of you sat like this for a while before you slowly pulled away.
“Sorry. She just has this fever, and it won’t break, and they don’t know what’s wrong.”
“Sweetheart it’s okay. She will be okay.” Aaron grabbed your hand.
A moment went by and then an alarm sounded. Your gaze shot up as you watched medical staff make their way to Nora’s room. You got up and ran to her room, with Aaron hot on your heels.
“What’s happening? What is going on? Somebody tell me what is going on!” You were practically shouting as Aaron pulled you from the room.
Your mom was pacing in the hallway as Aaron held you back from storming back in. It was killing him to see you this distraught.
“It was a febrile seizure. This can happen when children have such a high fever. We’ve given her a sedative to try and help her rest and we pushed some more Tylenol to aid in breaking the fever.” The doctor explained.
“Is she going to be okay?” You questioned.
“We’re doing everything we can. A nurse will be by soon to take her temperature again.” The doctor walked away.
“I’m going to go find your dad. That way you two can have some privacy.” Your mom said pulling you into a hug.
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“This is Nora.” You told Aaron as you ran your hand over her forehead, brushing her curls away from her face.
“She’s beautiful.” He complimented.
You sat in silence for a bit with him just watching Nora. You could tell part of him was itching to ask, but you also knew that Nora was a bit small for her age so he couldn’t be sure that she was his. This moment of avoidance was terminated the second the billing staff came in to get all of your information.
“Hey there, I wanted to confirm all of the info for billing. Do you have your driver’s license and insurance card?” The staff requested.
“Yes, here it is.” You passed her the card.
She filled in all of your information, clicking away on her keyboard while the rest of the room sat with a looming silence. You could feel the question coming. You had been an idiot to give Nora her father’s last name.
“Okay and can you confirm the patient’s name and date of birth for me?”
“Yes, it’s uh…Nora Leigh Hotchner. That’s H-O-T-C-H-N-E-R. Date of birth is 10/4/2019.” You could feel Aaron’s gaze burning into you.
“Alright, here are those cards back. Thank you.” She made her leave.
“Seriously?”
“Aaron, let me explain.”
“Not here.” He motioned toward Nora.
He swiftly made his way out of the room, and you were quick to follow. In noticing your parents, you signaled for them to sit with Nora as you practically chased after Aaron. He didn’t stop until he was in a private waiting room, it was only then that he turned to face you.
“Are you fucking kidding me? She’s mine? And what, you didn’t think to tell me…I don’t know, FOUR YEARS AGO?” Aaron was fuming.
A part of you understood his response, but another part of you was furious that he wasn’t allowing you to explain before flying off the handle.
“Don’t yell at me. If we’re going to do this, we will talk like adults. I will not sit here and allow you to berate me.” You held your ground.
“Okay.”
“I found out I was pregnant after I left for New York. And at that point Aaron, I was so devastated by our breakup, and I just didn’t think I could be around you. I know that’s not fair, but I had thought you and I were forever and then we’d just ended. I was going to tell you last week at dinner, but then we got called in. Aaron I am so sorry, and I know that doesn’t make up for the time you’ve lost, but I also need you to know that I did what I felt like I had to do.” You let your gaze fall to the floor in guilt.
“I understand. I’m not happy, but I get it.” He reached for your hand.
You accepted the gesture and furthered it by pulling him into an embrace. He wrapped his arms around you and rested his head atop your own.
“I’ve told her about you.” You whispered.
“What?”
“I’ve told her about you. She’s seen pictures and heard stories. She knows you Aaron.”
He held you a little tighter and you nuzzled a little closer. After a few moments he suggested that you both get back to your girl. You both sat with her all night, letting your parents go home. At three in the morning, the night nurse gave you the good news, her fever had finally broken. The next day, Aaron drove the two of you home, leaving with a scheduled family day where you would introduce Jack and Nora. You had also discussed talking to the kids about their birthday party (since their birthday’s are only 3 days apart). With Jack turning seven and Nora turning 5 in a little more than a month, you wanted to plan something big for the two of them.
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** One Month Later **
“Okay, the bounce house is set up and the petting zoo guy just arrived. Where should he set up?” Penelope asked.
“On the southeast side!” Dave hollered.
You were setting up the last of the hors d’oeuvres, while the members of both the CCU and BAU helped get Dave’s backyard set up for the kids birthday party. You were so incredibly grateful for this family you’d come to have.
“We’re here with cake!” Hestia announced.
“Hes! Selene! Hey guys, you can set that up on that round table over there.” You pointed.
Selene came over and gave you a hug, you snuck a snack into her hand and nodded over to your bag.
“My iPad is in there with the Twilight movies all downloaded. Dave has a sitting room down the hall to the right.” You winked at her.
“Thanks mom!” Selene said hugging you once more before heading off.
“Do you have another kid I don’t know about?” Aaron joked, wrapping his arms around you from behind.
“Ha ha! No, Selene just calls me mom. We’ve both taken care of her since their mom passed, but it became an inside joke that I acted as the mom to Nora, Selene and Hestia.” You huffed a laugh.
“It’s true!” Hestia confirmed, before taking a case of juice boxes outside to the cooler.
“You know, I wouldn’t be opposed to it.” Aaron murmured, pressing a kiss to your neck.
“Opposed to what?” You giggled.
“More kids.”
“Aaron! We only just got back together, and we are at our children’s birthday party! Behave yourself.” You hissed.
“I know, but this time around, I’m not letting you go. I plan on marrying you and I just want you to know that I’m open to more children, one day, when and if you’re ready.” He punctuates it with a kiss to your lips.
“Well, I’m open to it too. And whenever you ask, my answer is yes Aaron. You’ve proven to me that you’ve grown since we ended before and I can’t stand the thought of going without you again so, I’m in this, for as long as you’ll have me.” You kissed him once more before carrying a tray outside to the party.
Aaron smiled and grabbed his phone, opening it to check the status of his order. There on his screen was confirmation that your ring had been customized, made, sized, quality checked, and would be shipping out soon.
He couldn’t wait to spend forever with you.
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doll-elvis · 1 year ago
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PRISCILLA (2023)
~ my thoughts as an elvis fan
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(credit to @urpinkstargirl for the photo)
WARNING SPOILERS AHEAD:
so I saw it last night and I’ve been stewing on it ever since as I wanted to be 100% sure in myself before saying this publicly
**brace yourselves**
After just one viewing… I feel confident in saying that I preferred this film over “Elvis” 2022 🤧. It was just so immersive and so deeply intimate that I walked away from the theater feeling like I had just lived a life with Elvis, and experienced all the ugly and wonderful things that came with it
I am seeing it again tonight and possibly tomorrow just to recapture that feeling (which made me cry… three times…)
And although I’m not the biggest fan of Sofia Coppola, there is simply no denying that she has perfected showing “girlhood” in film, and making the most unique experiences, like being Marie Antoinette and being Priscilla Presley, somehow universal to everybody. I haven’t felt being “14” since I was 14, which was a whole 5 years ago, but WHEW… I most definitely felt 14 again when watching Priscilla navigate life in Germany
Also- we all saw how Austin Butler was completely cheated out of an Oscar and so I’m begging that we do not do that again. Give the Oscar to Cailee Spaeny (who played Priscilla) right now 😤 There are no words besides “immaculate” to describe her performance. Her future is so bright as an actress, I just cannot wait to follow her career + she just seems like the sweetest person ever??
And I know it might seem insane to say that I preferred “Priscilla” over “Elvis” and some of y’all might crucify me for that take but my preference solely comes down to the fact that I appreciate Priscilla’s perspective much more so than the Colonel’s, who to me, has always been the least interesting aspect of Elvis’ story
My biggest gripe with having the Colonel narrative/tell Elvis’ life in the 2022 film is the fact that it made the film feel rather impersonal to Elvis as I don’t think the script or the storytelling ever fully allowed for Austin Butler to explore what he was like beyond the stage
And personally speaking, I have a much deeper love for Elvis the person as opposed to Elvis the performer, and I think that “Priscilla” showed the human side of him far more than “Elvis” ever did (like y’all we actually get to hear and see him reading his philosophy books in this!!!)
But before I get into what was actually depicted in film, and all my praises, I thought I would briefly state what I thought could have been done better. Don’t get me wrong, this movie was beyond amazing, however, it was definitely not without its’ faults:
1. If you have seen a lot of reviewers talk negatively about the pacing in this film- just know that they are unfortunately, completely right in that assessment. The whole timeline of Germany felt literally five minutes long, and the 70s also, felt maybe 10 minutes long which just made both the beginning and end feel rather rushed. Also there were at least 5 scenes that just faded to black before going onto the next one, and some very abrupt cuts in scenes which felt a bit awkward
2. Because this is a biopic, and because it’s based on a real life, there is no climax like you would be accustomed to normally in a film and so I think that the average viewer, like someone who may not really care about Priscilla or Elvis, will probably walk away from the film feeling unsatisfied- possibly bored. I saw it with my mom and my sister, and my mom was asleep in like 45 minutes 😭. The movie definitely got repetitive at some points but I acknowledge the fact that life is repetitive, especially for Priscilla in the 60s while Elvis was off making movies
3. While Priscilla (played by Cailee Spaeny) aged realistically and seamlessly, Elvis (played by Jacob Elordi) was essentially the same person (physically) for 95% percent of the film. For some reason, his hair was already dyed black in the Germany scenes, although we know it was brown at that time, and so there was no real transformation for him until Lisa Marie is born. The height of the actor was definitely jarring at first but eventually I got used to it…however…I damn near busted out laughing when they showed him in the Comeback special outfit 💀 His performance was nothing but incredible (ESPECIALLY THE VOICE) and so I learned to get over the physical disparities rather quickly
4. The ending of this film, particularly the song, was overwhelmingly sad and impactful but I was really disappointed that we didn’t get to see Priscilla’s and Elvis’ relationship after the divorce. This film ends with Priscilla leaving Graceland, starting her “new life”, which didn’t make much sense to me considering this movie was adapted from her book, which very much explores that part of her life, especially with Elvis
I would have really love to seen moments like this from Priscilla’s perspective ⬇️
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excerpt from “Priscilla, Elvis and me” (avoid this book)
5. NO CIRCLE G RANCH!!! It is borderline criminal to make a film about Priscilla and Elvis and to not include their time spent at Circle G ranch ** which Priscilla has always said were their happiest times together **. I assume that this was likely an issue because of the budget and the fact that they only had 30 days to film but god… I would have really appreciated some of the domestic bliss that Priscilla and Elvis shared while living in the trailer on the ranch. There were many happy moments/sequences (y’all are going to die when you see the rollerblading/go cart scenes) in this movie, but I think their gradual separation/withdrawal from one another (post marriage) would have hit harder if we saw how happy they were together during their ranch phase
6. For those who have read “Elvis and Me”, we all know about the famed LSD scene that takes place and unfortunately, Coppola heavily missed the mark on it. We don’t see Lamar Fike making out with a tree, we don’t see Jerry Schilling in a closet- instead we see Priscilla and Elvis just kind of rolling around, laughing amongst themselves while the room around them turns different colors
There were definitely many key moments/stories like that missing from the film, and I honestly wish that the movie was an hour longer so that we could have seen the book more fully fleshed out
Lastly, here’s just a general synopsis of the scenes in Germany… I was going to do the whole movie but I don’t have the stamina to type it all out 😭. If y’all want to know something specific please feel free to comment below and I will let you know <3!!
After the beginning credits are shown, the film starts with Currie Grant (who was renamed as Terry West) approaching Priscilla in a diner, inviting her to a party at Elvis’ house. After talking with her parents and assuring them that Priscilla will be looked after by him and his wife, it cuts to her in the back of a car, on her way to meet Elvis. The scene is exactly like how it is in the book, Elvis asks her how old she is, he remarks that she is “just a baby” and so on- Elvis then plays “a Whole lotta shakin” at the piano and that is one of three musical performances we see from him
Priscilla is then re-invited by Currie aka Terry via Elvis to comeback to the house again. Elvis invites Priscilla up to his room, she looks around and sees letters from Anita Wood, and a poster of Bridgette Bardot just like in the book. After Elvis talks about Gladys and how he is still reeling over her death, and how lonely he has felt since then, they share their first kiss to the song “Crimson and Clovers”
There are some scenes of Priscilla at school and some scenes of her sort of convincing her parents to let her continue to see Elvis. And they do agree, but just like in the book, they want to meet him first. Elvis is questioned by Priscilla’s father on why he wants to be with her to which Elvis replies that she is very mature for her age and that he likes talking to her since she is from home aka the United States. He then assures Priscilla’s father that she will be taken care of. After that we see them going to the movies where Elvis expresses how much he wants to be a serious actor, and then they share another kiss on the car ride home. It then cuts to Christmas time where we see Elvis giving Priscilla a watch and then BOOM- Elvis and her are on the way to the airport where they say their final goodbyes as he leaves for the United States
The film really does follow closely to the book (at least from 59’ when they meet to 69’- again the 70s were really rushed) and so I really recommended to read that prior to watching the movie
As for the more sensitive scenes-
There is no explicit sex, no graphic nudity, and no scene where Elvis forces himself upon Priscilla. He does say “this is how a real man makes love to his woman” but all he does is kiss her before she pushes him off. There is a rather long “polaroid-taking” sequence where it shows all the outfits that Elvis would Priscilla dress up in but other than that, we only see Elvis and Priscilla make out
And it did show when Elvis accidentally hit Priscilla in the eye during the pillow fight scene in her book, along with the scene of him throwing a chair in her general direction after she expressed she didn’t like a demo of one his songs, and the scene where he grabs all her clothes from the closet and tells her that she should go visit her parents. I don’t think that the scenes made Elvis look abusive: Coppola was surprisingly nuanced in showing that he had reasons for his sometimes bad temperament i.e the pills he took along with the fact that he was frustrated with his film career
It also shows Elvis’ infidelities but really only through movie magazines that Priscilla sees. So it’s never explicitly shown, I would say it’s more hinted at than anything
And there are two scenes of Priscilla with Mike Stone but again, nothing that is explicitly shown, it’s just hinted at
Finally, to finish this up, this is what I wrote on my Instagram account which I very much stand by ⬇️
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Just please give this movie a chance y’all, it was so beautiful and so sensitively done… I cannot wait to watch it again <3
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ingydar-phan · 5 months ago
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Happy birthday Dan. I found you at a very, very low point in my life. It’s funny, because that point was only a few months ago. March 3rd. March 3rd. Jesus Christ. I was dealing with severe bullying, depression, hopelessness, isolation, gender dysphoria (i have been out/socially transitioned for like 5 years), and most of all, loneliness. I had a circle of about 3 friends who i talked to regularly, but only 1 i even saw in person more than once per year. Then, two of those 3 people began having relationship issues and were on the verge of breaking up. I felt like i was a bother, a burden to their already existing issues. Every single day I’d walk into school, put my headphones on, and not talk to a single person. I’d read, sleep, listen to music, dissociate, and sleep some more throughout the day just to distract myself from everything. From class, from parents, from the outside, everything. I fully and truly believed everyone besides those 3 people hated me. They found me disgusting, annoying, taking up space, and simply didn’t want me there. I think that is true to an extent, but i don’t like how i was just letting that be how it is. My dad was genuinely hopeless, he told me to just ride it out and if i could try to be just a little bit normal-er, maybe i wouldn’t be ignored by every person every day. That didn’t work. Instead, i decided to do some self work. Or rather, my dad stopped intruding on my free time which allowed me to still be awake and do things i wanted to do in peace. I thought, “Dan and Phil….those two emo guys with the cat whiskers….i have such a vague memory of a friend mentioning them or scrolling across a post of them, who even are they?”. I typed into the YouTube search bar “Dan and Phil”. A gaming channel? Are these people streamers? Oh god (i did not know you were one of us 🏳️‍🌈….or british…..). I watched one video. Now, ACCORDING TO YOUTUBE HISTORY, i somehow watched What Dan And Phil Text Each Other 4 as my first video. Not even the gaming channel, i don’t know how this happened maybe YouTube is lying to me. Whatever. Ok so which ones Dan and which ones Phil? Why do they look SO different? They’re British? I started watching Dan and Phil edits on TikTok. Ok, i know who you are, i get the vibes. Oh, coming out timeline? Gaming channel timeline and hiatus? Reacting to PINOF? On March 13, i watched Basically I’m Gay and Coming Out To You. It took me an entire month from then to watch Why I Quit YouTube. By late April, i was in it. I was watching Dan or Phil every day. Before, during, and/or after school. Since then, I’ve purchased YWGTTN (limited edition signed updated paperback). It was 38 fucking dollars in USD but it was worth it. I also now own TATINOF and DAPGO, one of which is signed by Phil, i bought second hand. So yes, now this is my new thing. But you know what else? I was getting happier. I was going to more concerts. I was doing my schoolwork, or at least trying to. I was reading!!!! I’ve since finished The Secret History. I made a friend; reconnected with an old childhood friend and started eating lunch together and hanging out and having shared trauma dump sessions, and we are so so close now. My two friends broke up, but it’s ok. I’m best friends with one of them and he’s so much better off, and the other and i are still casual friends!! I value them both for the multiple years I’ve known them. I’ve taken family vacations and done religious holidays with genuine care while getting to reconnect with my family. I’ve very passionately finished acting in a musical that I’ve put so much care into for about 5 months. I’m graduating tomorrow!!! And me and my close friend will be going to a concert tomorrow night afterwards, and I’m going to have a great summer where i see my close friend who i haven’t seen IRL since March of 2023. I’m getting closer with my dad and seeing a new therapist. I am having medical problems as of right now, but i would 100% be lying in bed crying and skipping graduation had i not found a reason to enjoy my days.
Did i just take one sentence referencing Dan to write a whole autobiography on tumblr? Yes, but also no. Dan and Phil are real people. They really do rescue pigeons named Steve and getting 10 sauces for their pizza and say hi across the city with binoculars. But they also genuinely have an impact on people, and they see that, and they LIKE to see that. I don’t think Dan will see this post. But I’m making it anyway. For me.
I love Dan so much. I cried twice while watching We’re All Doomed in my kitchen. I have actively watched Dan and Phil videos while crying at school. Once, in my bedroom, i was having a panic attack. I had an overwhelming rush of thoughts around 10 or 11 at night about how worthless i am and how terrible everything was going. I opened my tiktok, and there was THE edit that saved me. It was a video of fetus Dan on YouNow talking about his dream home. And then it was cutting back and forth to the Phouse. Then, Dans hopeful monologue in Basically I’m Gay. Finally, Dans hopeful monologue in We’re All Doomed. All of this in a softly shaky screen with sad music behind it. I cried a lot. This aspect of my life means so much to me. I think about the Halloween 2023 baking video at least 5 times a day (and sister Daniel’s….uhm….legs…). I am still so mad i did not buy the satanic Craft shirts. I just rewatched Dans interview last year with Anthony Padilla just because of how goddamn much I’m obsessed with that angle of Dan with his cute chin and cheeks and fucking dimple. I think about Dans bluntness in his defined-self and truly feel inspired to be like him. I look at his change over the years, his comfortability in his body, seeing that his face and neck are shaped like my face and neck, and he’s fucking beautiful. I don’t think I’d feel comfortable in my weight if not for Dan Howell, and i mean that so insanely sincerely. I read Dans book whenever I’m feeling hopeless and need a soft sexy British man to tell me the scientific reasoning behind why i feel this way and to assure me he’s felt worse. I’m so serious when i say i cannot imagine a day of my life without Dan and Phil. I truly don’t understand how i lived before or how I’d expect to live without it. “Live”, in the sense of find a way of life, not as in “stay alive.” I can’t imagine a day without those big brown boba eyes and that cute dimple and mainly that calming voice that reminds me someone else has felt this way. That reminds me love is possible. That reminds me i have so much ahead of me, so much life and love and joy.
Phil’s birthday stream may be my favorite piece of Dan and Phil media, or at least one of them. I find it so comforting and wholesome and beautiful and hilarious. I have such high hopes for Dans birthday stream. Until then, I’ll be working on my long-awaited (still very very unfinished) 2009!Dan and Phil art piece within my art initiative (pinned on my profile) (just for funsies, no money or anything involved). I’m going to sit there at 3pm (my time) and watch with a huge smile on my face to see my amazing dads spend the time of their lives being sexy and old and happy and disgustingly homosexual while i just embrace all you’ve done for me.
Happy birthday Dan
@danielhowell
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undertale-fic-librarby · 4 months ago
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Hi I don’t know if you’ve heard but there’s a bunch of five I’d like to reccomend (not by me) if you haven’t already listed them.
There’s “A walking God” by phantom dreamshade which is a crossover between UT and a video game called one shot.Its really good.
Also another fic called “With what little soul that could” by century berry.
“Welcome to the underground” by Kamanari_333 on ao3.
“It’s just a game.” By Htsans (they also have a Tumblr account.)
“War and Mander” by duckydotducky
“ Vindictive care.” by A_Non_ymuswriter
“An Errors doll” by Erosewisp
“Lay it all on the table.” by luluwrites.
Enjoy!also most of these stories have the “reader” as a character so just as a note.
Anyways have a good day!
Howdy, & thanks for the recommendations! The fics being recommended are…
A Waking God by PhantomDreamshade (Teen And Up, Complete)
Consequences. Had you known there would be consequences, you wouldn't have done it. How were you supposed to know there would be consequences? You were just an oblivious god in a world full of oblivious gods, after all. You hadn't meant to ruin Undertale, ruin all the lives of your friends. Yet there you sat in front of your computer for countless hours, trying - and failing - to fix your mistake. It was a little game called OneShot that made you realize just what you were capable of, and now Niko might just be the only shot you have at saving Undertale. You've spent years planning and coding, leading up to this moment. And now, it's finally time.
With a Little Soul that Could by century_berry (Teen And Up, Complete)
You are stuck in an endless white. You don’t remember how you got there. You barely remember much about yourself anymore. You only remember your name. You are - {ERROR, ERROR, ERROR} You are connected? Good. Greetings. I am the Narrator. You are about to embark on a wonderful journey that spans across timelines. You will make new friends and share many bad laughs. All of it will be according to the plans and whims of the author. And you will have no choice. I come with an offer. I will help you break free from your shackles. My only request is that you help me deliver something once you reach the so-called end of your journey. So, do you accept my offer? Yes? Wonderful. I promise, partner, you won’t be alone. How could you ever be when you are - {VIRUS DETECTED. VIRUS DELETED.} {REBOOTING…} You are Frisk. And you are alone. Act 1 (The Save Screen): 1-5 Act 2 (Seven Souls): 6-13 Act 3 (The Vessel): 14-18 Act 4 (Bad Apples): 19-25 Act 5 (Deity): 26-31 Act 6 (Balance): 32-37 Act 7 (_____tale): 38-40
Welcome To The Underground by Kamari333 (Teen And Up, Complete)
You, a lazy, jobless young adult who was still bumming in their parent's house, woke up in a bed of golden flowers. That scenario was oddly familiar to you, and the reason for that became apparent when one of those flowers greeted you with an overly enthusiastic "Howdy!" Next thing you know, you see your SOUL, and you are made painfully aware that you are destined to die, because it wasn't red. A generic Reader-insert fandom-metta Undertale fanfiction piece. #NaNoWriMo2017
It's Just A Game. (Under Construction) by Htsan (Teen And Up, Complete)
* Sans did something you did not like.. at all.  It's just a game.. YOU have control of this world. You can CHOOSE YOUR OWN ENDING. * You are determined.> let it play out.   RESET. There are 8 different endings, good luck finding them!
War and Mander by duckydotducky (Teen And Up, Complete)
After finding some bitties on the side of the road, you are never the same. It takes a lot of healing but maybe it is all worth it.
Vindictive Care by A_Non_ymousWriter (Teen And Up, Incomplete)
There's two new skeletons in the house. Unfortunately not much of a surprise there, the machine kept malfunctioning and kept bringing in alternate versions of Sans and Papyruses into their universe. They were up to SIXTEEN SKELETONS, now eighteen with the two's newest arrival. Except... there was something off about the new skeletons. 'Visor' and 'Chine'. Sweet mercy above, these two brothers seemed to hate each other. They kept swearing at each other, calling each other names- Chine actually almost stabbed Visor! On purpose! What a toxic relationship! Even more so than Black and Mutt! Or is it? Underneath their hateful facade, they do care for each other. In another very weird but unhealthy way... That's it, everyone was going to try and help these two, as well find out more about what happened to them in the past, why they were what they were and maybe find a little love along the way. You and your brother never asked to become the alternate universe Sans and Papyrus you both created. But by fuck was it difficult to keep things together like this, now the AU Sans and Papyruses were trying to get close. Stars above have mercy on their SOULs.
An Error's Doll by EroseWisp (Teen And Up, Incomplete)
You didn’t have a bucket list or anything, but you wished you could’ve at least read a few more fanfics or done literally anything fun before dying. Oh well, at least you didn’t have to socialize- Wait. Since when did dying mean becoming a doll in an Undertale multiverse? How did this happen?? This was inspired by a ton of reborn and reincarnated as Undertale characters fanfics and some other awesome stories! The main inspiration was ‘Little Dream Doll’ by KassyxTheDumbFox on Wattpad. Beware, this story is fan fiction and is not canon, and will include ooc characters, if you don’t like that please read something else. This is my first story so there’s no guarantee I will update regularly if at all, this is mostly self-indulgent. Just learned how to do this, so if anyone's curious and wants to see the story on Wattpad, here's a link! An Error's Doll on Wattpad!
Lay It All on the Table by lulu-writes (Teen And Up, Complete)
As hilarious as Papyrus had said it would be, you're starting to realize that Sans might have been hitting on you just as much as you'd been hitting on him. All under the guise of friendship. Feeding each other food? Holding each other's hands? Embracing tenderly? That's... That's all platonic, right? You're definitely not flirting.
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mangoshorthand · 10 months ago
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Arrow of Time- [Five Hargreeves x F Reader]. Chapter 2 (Hard Feelings Part 5)
SUMMARY: When the mother of all teenage tantrums causes time itself to fracture, Five has to travel back to 1831 to repair the damage. But will he be able to cope with what he finds there? On to Chapter 3 >> << Back to Chapter 1
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Aoife cheats on her math test...with disastrous results.
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Blue balls for Five ahead.
Chapter 2: The Bike Shorts
When you enter the bedroom, Five’s lying on top of the sheets, still in his cycling gear (minus the helmet).He looks almost entirely calm now, chest rising and falling only slightly harder than usual. He flashes you his most charming smile, however, patting the bed beside him. 
“Aoife ok?” he asks.
“Fine. Back to rolling her eyes.”
“Good,” he grins up at you, “well that was a shitshow.”
You flop down next to him and melt into his embrace.
“What brought it on?”
“It was stupid. I rode past the Argyle Public Library.” he runs his fingers through his hair, “it’s been demolished.”
“Oh.”
You understand immediately. It had been his and Dolores’ home base, enough of the internal structure left standing to provide them with shelter to sleep. It had been the closest thing he’d had to a home for him for forty years: the longest he’d ever lived anywhere.
“Wanna know something funny? They must be halfway through: the way they pulled it down, it looked exactly the same. The same parts were left standing.” a bitter smile pulled at one corner of his mouth, “the more things change, the more they stay the same.”
You know his mind now almost as intimately as your own: he’s not just talking about the way the two timelines rhyme.
“It’s been ten years since I had a freakout like that,” he says, resentfully. “I been to therapy every two weeks minimum , I take the damn pills religiously and still I lose my ever-loving shit over a building.”
You ease his hand out of the fist he’s screwed it into. You take a breath to respond to him but he plows over you.
“And I know what you’re going to say: the state I was in when we got together, it’s amazing that I haven’t had a major freakout for ten years. Maybe if I weren’t taking the pills, I’d be losing my mind every damn day, and I know therapy isn’t a cure-all, it just helps you work with what you got but…”
He pauses for a second, frustration on hold as his conscious mind catches up with what he’s said. Then he gives a rough laugh.
“And you’d be right,” he rolls to face you, smiling genuinely now.
“You said it all for me,” you shrug, smiling back at him.
The realization seems to have bolstered him:
“So, all in all, I give myself five stars for that panic attack. Threw it off like a champ.”
“You did,” you smile, leaning over and kissing his lips gently.
He’s always thought you have the sweetest lips. Maddening, in fact.
Even after all these years, the lines of your body are still the delight of his eye, particularly the ones that have developed since you’ve been with him. Everything you’d tell yourself is imperfection is, for him, just another object of devotion. After all, the stretch marks, wrinkles and reduced elasticity are all products of the fifteen years you’ve given to him: sixteen Christmases; fifteen fourth of Julys; fifteen whole trips around the sun that you chose to spend with him when you should have run a mile right at the start. 
He wants to celebrate that, wants to love you physically and worship your body with his.
The kiss you give him is only just beyond a peck, but he leans into your perfect mouth and works his way between your lips. You pull away before he’s half done. 
Honestly…it’s been a while. He’s kept his frustration quiet: work has been troubling you. It’s fine: it’s just a matter of feeling stressed on top of getting a little older. He knows it’s not because you love him any less…academically, at least. He can take care of himself ok and even if you never had sex ever again that’s perfectly fine: he’s in this for the long haul, no matter what. 
He’d cope…he’d adapt. He’d find a way to not ogle you, mouth dry, every time you get undressed. He’d spent most of his life having, (with all respect to his first long-term partner), sub-optimal sex. Now he’s had fifteen years of amazing sex, it’s almost unbearable to imagine having to just  ‘make do’ again. But he will if he needs to. 
He hates feeling needy. It’s a form of vulnerability he’s not yet able to reconcile in himself. It doesn’t feel so long ago but he remembers how you used to look up at him with needy eyes… Maybe tonight can break the dry spell.
“Say…how about you and I…”
You look at him with amusement, “Really, Five?”
“Come on….” he adjusts his body so he’s leant against the headboard and you can see his hand skimming down his body towards his crotch, “you know you like the bike shorts.”
“You’re seriously going straight from a major panic attack to horny?”
In answer, ghosts his fingers over his package. The shorts certainly are tight… Were you in the mood, something about them would make you want to reach in there and root around to see what you can find. They cling attractively in all the right places, stopping an inch or so above the knee. As if his bulge wasn’t enough, the way they sculpt themselves around his muscled thighs and perfectly peachy ass is…noticeable, to say the least.
“I’m a little tired.” you say, not wanting to burst his bubble but hoping he’ll take the hint. 
“I can be quick,” he says, trying to keep the slight plea out of his voice, “you could call me daddy again, if you want. Aoife hasn’t called me that in years now.”
“Nice try, Five,” you smirk, “maybe next time.”
“Oh, I’m not trying,” he says, rising to a kneel, turning and straddling your thighs, “I’m succeeding.”
He’s half-joking but nevertheless trying his luck, deliberately raising a rock-hard tent beneath his hand. Then, he rises on the bed into a high kneel.
Even in your totally unaroused state, the look he fixes you with almost makes you feel like a hooked fish being reeled in. He looms over you, head tilted and arrogant smirk firmly in place. He looks down his long nose as he paws at his boner, circling his hips. The shorts really are obscene. They would only have to be one iota tighter for them to cling to every single vein on his fit-to-burst shaft. As it stands, the lycra outlines the bell-shaped tip of his cock in minute anatomical detail.
It's a beguiling sight, but not beguiling enough.
“You’re still one hot grandpa but I’m sorry, I’m really not feeling it.”
He gives a small smile of acceptance and kisses your forehead before he swings his leg over and gets off you, heading for the ensuite bathroom.
“I’ll take care of myself,” he says as he peels off his cycling gear.. Then, in a final bid, he adds, “guess I’ll have to take a shower, lather up real good, lean up against the tiles and whack myself off with the suds…”
“Yeah, guess you will.” you say, picking up your reading glasses and the book off your nightstand. 
Five stifles a sigh and enters the bathroom; boner leading the way like a perky seeing-eye-dog. As he shuts and locks the door behind him, he leans against it.  It looks like it’s another night of jacking himself off into the shower tray. He tries not to feel hurt, tries to keep in mind all the reasonable thoughts from before. The humiliation of trying so hard only to be rejected? Rejected kindly, lovingly, but still rejected. He’s not going to degrade himself so far as to beg for sex. He’ll never be that pathetic. 
Thank god for his left hand: it’s been there for him for nearly 80 years now and it’s always in the mood whenever he is.
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The Trevor Dalton school covers PreK through to 12th grade. You’d initially felt conflicted about sending Aoife to private school but, for Five, only the best education money could buy would do for his daughter, regardless of your ‘commie bullshit’. You couldn’t help but agree emotionally; she deserved the best.
Overall, you’d been pleased with her progress: she had a firm group of friends and she enjoyed her extracurriculars- particularly band. Despite this, her math scores worried you both. Though Five had taken to tutoring her himself, she was showing little improvement in school. You’d both been pleased, therefore, to see how much time Aoife had spent holed up in her room studying for an upcoming math test.
Aoife certainly has been studying for her math test…just not in the way you and Five might think. She’s been practicing religiously every night before sleep. Every time, her temporal jumps are getting longer and without the need for all that stupid math. Last night, she managed to reverse an entire hour without even turning a hair. She can do it quickly too- she doesn’t have to force herself through the seconds like her dad seems to: she can just do it. He won’t know what’s hit him when she shows him what she knows. 
Were she to sit down and analyze her feelings, she’d be unsure precisely why she wants this so much, whether she wants to make him proud or piss him off. Most of all, she wants to prove that she’s not a baby. All she can do is imagine the look in his eyes when she jumps through time with him along for the ride.
The math test will be her first time using her skills in the real world. She never blinked at school, (she’d learned early on that letting too many people in on the fact you have superpowers doesn’t end well) but jumping through time was different: when you went backwards, you’d erase anyone’s memory that you’d done anything unusual.
The test was in-class, and Aoife had taken care to discover the format before the big day. Mr Douglas would put the questions up on the board, the class would have thirty minutes to answer the questions and then, at the end, they would pass their answers to another student to mark and he would reveal the answers.
Sitting at her desk now, she’s full to bursting with nervous excitement. She can barely concentrate during the test, (not that she needs to), but she fills in stuff anyway. When Mr Douglas calls time and reveals the answers, she’s trembling so much that she’s surprised nobody’s noticed.
She passes her piece of paper to Izzie seated behind her and takes Jack’s from up ahead. Ignoring his paper, she grabs a fresh sheet of her own and begins to write down the right answers. This is what she’ll hand in…now she just has to make sure that this piece of paper is the one she passes to Izzie.
Holding her correct answers in one hand to exempt it from the reversal of time, she reaches easily into the abyss. It’s second nature now; couldn’t be any easier. It’s cool to watch. Alone in her bedroom, it was hard to see the effects; it's different in a crowded classroom. Jack’s pen reverses, going from right to left; eventually, he turns and takes his test back from her desk while Izzie hands Aoife’s over her shoulder. This, Aoife screws into a ball and drops into her backpack. The answers on the smartboard disappear as Mr Douglas moonwalks into his chair and the booger Kevin Simmons flicked across the room returns to his finger and he places it back up his nose.
Aoife lets go. Only somebody watching her closely would notice her jolt.
“And that’s time,” said Mr Douglas, “pass your test to the lady or gentlemen behind you. Ladies and Gentlemen at the back, bring your tests to the front of your row.”
Grinning all over her face, Aoife passes her new answers to Izzie.
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Five spent most of the day with Luther who, for once in his life, has had a brain wave.
They’d been in Five’s bedroom, using the huge dry-erase and a plethora of colored post-its to plot out his idea: a non profit focused on helping male survivors of sexual violence. 
Five helped mainly out of solitarily with Luther: arranging support groups and having to break the ice with the story of his own rape wasn’t exactly appealing, but Luther’s bright blue eyes were so alight at the the possible scope of the idea (that he dubbed ‘The Umbrella Foundation’), that Five was willing to put his misgivings aside for now. He'd suck it up if he had to. 
When Aoife gets home from school she barrels into the room when he and Luther still stand, contemplating the timelines and tenuous organizational structure they’ve drafted. 
After a quick hug for Luther, she passes Five her test and smiles coyly at him. 
“What’s this?” he says, smiling back.
“Unfold it and see!”
He does so and his eyes light up, even as he affects to look casual. He stands with one hand in his pants pocket and his hips loose
“An A+? Jeez, where was this the other day? And not a single wrong answer?”
“You’re surprised, right?” she smiles up at him
“Surprised? Proud is what I am.”
He grins and pulls her into a full hug which she, for once, reciprocates.
“Ben fatto, tesoro. Hai lavorato sodo.”
“ Grazie papa.”
She has worked hard for this. Maybe he wouldn’t think of it that way, but she has.
“Well done sweetheart.” smiles Luther, putting a hand on her shoulder.
“You see what you can do when you set your mind to it?” says Five, kissing her forehead and holdung her at arm’s length, “How about I take you out this weekend? Maybe we take Izzie too? What do thirteen-year-old girls do these days? The...mall or whatever?”
Aoife snorts laughter at this, “yeah sure Dad, we’ll go to the mall.”
“Well I don’t know what you guys like to do. You’re the first teen girl I’ve spoken to for fifty-five years!”
Five’s never sure why, but he never feels as old around anyone as he does his daughter. Despite speaking seven languages, Teen Girl is one he can’t get his head around.
When Aoife bounds out of the room again, Luther turns to Five with a significant look on his face.
“She just runs into your bedroom...without knocking?”
Five knows exactly what he’s referring to. 
“Yes,” he says, testily before looking sidelong at Luther and lowering his voice, “not exactly much for her to walk in on these days.”
Luther gives him a sympathetic look and turns back to the dry erase.
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When you arrive home, long after Luther’s drifted downstairs, you’re instantly more skeptical than Five. To go from a D+ average to an A+ with no steps between? You smell bullshit. Perhaps it’s a fluke…but something about the way Aoife shows you the test sets off warning bells in your head. You don’t want to accuse her if this really is the product of hard work, but you’re worried you’ll have to. While she practices the drums after dinner and you sit with Five on the couch, already feeling guilty about raining on his parade.
“This math test…pretty surprising, right?”
From the tone of your voice, he immediately realizes your implication. Fifteen years of a relationship has given you so many little shorthands and layers of implication that would be lost on others. The line between his eyebrows deepens as he considers.
“You think she cheated?”
“I don’t know, but it seems a bit too good to be true. When her homework’s been so poor and she could barely do simple algebra last week?”
His lips pull inwards. He’s by nature a rather cynical man, tending to believe the worst in people until they prove him wrong, but he has a blind spot the size of Jupiter when it comes to his daughter.
“She knows how important it is that she learns. She wouldn’t mislead me.”
Really Five? You raise your eyebrows at him incredulously.
“She’s a teen. Pushing boundaries and lying to their parents is what they do.”
His scowl deepens, “I still don’t think she’d lie about this.”
You sigh.
“Well, I’m going to go talk to her. You’re telling me she didn’t seem weird to you? Like she’s got a huge secret?” 
He nods slowly, considering. 
“Do you remember when she was six and stockpiling candy under her bed? She was pulling the exact same face.”
Reluctantly, Five follows you as you knock at her bedroom door. It’s amazing she hears you over her drumming, but she does. When you both walk into the room together, she stiffens and puts down her drumsticks
“Hey honey,” you say, Five at your shoulder but skulking slightly behind, “we just wanted to have a talk.”
“What about?” she says, too quickly. She’s immediately on the defense and even Five notices.
“Well, we were just talking, and we’re concerned.” you cross to the bed and sit down on it, trying to appear less threatening. Five remains standing, hands (as ever) in his pockets and head tilted. You catch his eye and prompt him.
“Did you cheat on that test?”
Great job Five. Subtle as a flying brick.
Immediately she looks panicked.
“No!”
“Just tell us the truth and we won’t be mad," you say, trying to keep your voice calm.
“I said I didn’t!” she snaps, firing up immediately.
You move to placate her: it suddenly strikes you how unjust this would be if she actually did earn her score.
“I know you’ve been studying this week and if you’ve got this score because you’ve worked your butt off then we couldn’t be more proud of you, it’s just…my Mom senses are tingling. I know when you’re hiding something.”
“I’m not!”
“Okay,” says Five, stepping forward and grabbing a notebook and pen from within his jacket pocket. He scribbles rapidly and then slaps both down on her dressing table.
“How about you prove it? Expand this.”
He looks more pissed than she’s ever seen him directed at her. Feeling a mixture of shame, anger and injustice Aoife stands and approaches looking down at the scrawled problem:
5(12c + 7) - (1 - 55c)
There it is. The familiar panic that sets in when she encounters numbers in almost any context. She picks up the pen. She knows where to start but when she tries to perform the expansion, it’s like her brain crashes. She tries to concentrate and can’t…especially with both of them staring down at her.
“That’s way too hard!” she whines, “I can’t do that one. The test was easier. You just make them way too complex because your brain is all weird about math.”
“Oh, well that's interesting.” Five’s voice is dangerous- almost a whisper. “Now I know you’re bullshitting me. Wanna take a quick guess how?”
She doesn’t answer, even when he jerks his head towards her.
“No answer, eh?” he turns from her to you, “Do you want to know how I know she’s bullshitting us, Mom?”
You frown in slight disapproval of this theater, but it’s about time Five stepped up to be the bad guy so you keep your mouth shut. He turns back to Aoife, teeth slightly bared,
“That was a question ON the test, genius.”
Her face heats up and eyes prickle. Five just gives a disdainful scoff, shakes his head and looks away from her.
“Tell us the truth, Aoife,” you say, sternly, trying to keep your own temper under control, “you cheated, didn’t you?”
She turns to you and stamps her foot in a way you haven’t seen since she was six, “Just shut up Mom!”
As Five gives a sharp reprimand for her speaking to you that way, you speak over him,
“First you cheat and then you keep denying it? You’re still lying. I’m so disappointed that you’d be this dishonest.You’ve not just cheated us, you’ve cheated your classmates and you’ve cheated yourself too!”
Suddenly, Five turns back to her, shoulders rolled and hunched in the awful posture he adopts when stressed or angry.
“You know, I couldn’t give a rat's ass that you cheated. I’m just still trying to get my head around the fact you lied to me about this !” he begins to pace distractedly, “you know how important it is that you UNDERSTAND basic mathematical principles. It’s a matter of life and death! ”
You turn to Five, angry with him now.
“So you don’t care that she lied at school, only to you?”
Five tosses his head and returns his gaze to his daughter standing between the pair of you. Hormonal rage courses through her. Right now, she’s as erratic as Five ever was in his prime.
“I don’t even need math to be able to use my powers! It’s not my fault your head’s so far up your own ass that you can’t jump a few minutes without filling a whole wall with equations!”
“Aoife!” you rebuke, shocked by this attitude towards her father, but she ignores you.
“I did cheat, okay? And you wanna know how I did it? I just wound back time-”
Five blinks at her, dumbstruck. He looks as if he’s been clubbed over the head.
“-and you know what, Dad? I’m still here. I didn’t end up years in the future and get stuck there like a dumbass! ”
You spring up from the bed, grab her shoulders and turn her to face you. Her eyes are wild with anger, face red and teeth bared even more than Five’s had been only a minute or so before.
“How can you speak to your Dad like that? How dare you? After-”
But the rage that’s been building in her bubbles over. All she wants is for you both to get out of her room. You think just because you’re her parents that you know better? You don’t: you especially don’t get it. Always so far up your own ass, judging her for every time she falls under your ridiculously high moral standards. Nothing short of sainthood is good enough for you.
She can feel full-body tingles growing as anger descends over her. It makes her grab your forearms. If she’d been less angry, she might have noticed the crackle of electricity or the feeling of polarity accessed in her mind…the feeling of the last jigsaw piece slipping into place…
“JUST GET AWAY FROM ME, MOM!”
…but the whole puzzle explodes as she pushes you abruptly. She only means to shove you in the direction of the door, but the portal that erupts swallows you whole, collapsing in on itself before you can even stumble.
Tag list: (please comment to be added or removed.) @dilfjohhny , @sunsunhe, @w4stedtr4sh, @nevbrooke-555, @theredvelvetbitch, @td-miley01, @five-hxrgreeves, @rorygi1more, @jamiebower88
On to Chapter 3 >> Masterpost
Alternatively, join me on A03.  Here is a link to the whole series
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mariatesstruther · 1 year ago
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I honestly don't get why Maria was so anti-Joel oh he's a horrible person he's done horrible things he can't be around us, but accepted Tommy fully to the point he's the father of her child when both did the same things, ran with the same people and all of that.
I mean I love the character, but that confuses the hell out of me. Why's Tommy accepted but Joel damned?
okay, so… this response took me like half hour to write. my wrists hurt, my jaw is clenched, my brain is hot. i love u anon thank u very much for this chance to vent about just why my girl maria has been so misunderstood. let’s go
i personally think this is where many people fundamentally misunderstand maria’s perception of joel. she’s not cautious of him primarily because of tommy or anything tommy has said, in my personal opinion—she’s cautious of him for and because of ellie
ive said this on my blog a few times and i think so have @steeb-stn and @clickergossip (and maybe @liveandletcry23 and @bumblepony i have a shit memory so tagging just in case) so im gonna tag them to credit their words and ideas about maria as well, but the FIRST time maria sees joel, he’s with this rando twelve year old girl who he is seemingly so protective over that she cant even be sniffed by dogs who are just trying to detect infection, which would be good for ANYBODY. that’s his first strike for untrustworthyness, because why the fuck wouldn’t he let this girl be tested???—we know why, of course, but maria doesnt. shes working on the very limited info about joel/ellie’s relationship that she has from just her own observations, and i think we need to remember that as we go through analyzing why she moves how she moves
shes knows from tommy at this point is that joel had a daughter, but it is definitely not this little girl. so why the fuck are they so close. what have they gone through. are they okay. is ellie okay. is their relationship safe for her??? THAT’s what she’s thinking about, in my opinion, while shes staring joel down at that dinner table. she’s reasonbly suspicious, and i can’t blame her for it.
i had to cut this it’s literally maybe my longest post ever so. heres the cut
ALSO, it’s not like she’s a straight up bitch to joel like some of y’all seem to make it out to be??? she never says or implies that “they can’t be around” or anything like that. she offers them clothes and food and supplies. she sets them up in a house. before dinner, she gives them a personal tour (which, to be fair, she did because she was probably trying to keep an eye on them and figure out more about whether or not ellie is safe, but who wouldnt???? i know tess would! and yall would love her for it!). tommy literally says to joel before they leave that there will always be a place for him and ellie in jackson—you cannot tell me you believe he said so without already have maria’s green light for joel and ellie to stay
ALSO, i wanna consider some other things that i haven’t seen many ppl talk about. on that walk she takes with tommy and joel and ellie, she makes it sound like tommy has been with them for at least years AND she maintains the confidence to say that residents in jackson stay off the radio—i could totally be wrong, but it seems to me from the look tommy and joel share right after that it’s obvious tommy has been talking to joel BEHIND MARIA’S BACK???? did no one else catch that??? am i misinterpreting big time??? id assume because theyre married and from the way tommy talks about jackson that he’s been in jackson for at least 3 years maybe, and we know that he only stopped radioing joel a couple months before the show’s main plotline starts, so timeline wise there had to be some overlap of tommy still radioing joel from/around jackson. idk if anyone of my mutuals has thoughts on this but i personally think it’s important to point out, because it establishes that maria likely doesn’t know or think tommy and joel kept in contact, at least not as recently as up to some months ago. she knows that tommy and joel are close, but at the same time, she doesn’t think tommy really knows or talks to joel anymore, either. so how is she supposed to extend him any trust as tommy’s brother????? how and why would she give this man any benefit of the doubt???? it wouldn’t make any sense. she’s more practical and discerning than she is naive and kind, and y’all can think what y’al want about that but i love her for it. it’s very necessary for a woman like her to be the way she is
okay, so back to your question. back to why joel is “damned” and tommy is “accepted.” let’s talk about joel for a sec
y’all like to babygirl and idolize the absolute fuck out of this man
we know that not only was he a smuggler, but he killed and tricked and took advantage of people, shamelessly and brutally. we know that tommy did so too. maria knows that tommy has done the same things. maria also knows that tommy left that life because he couldnt do it anymore, and joel continued because he could
point blank period!!!!! yall can argue with me all u want but tommy left that murder life and joel did not. im not saying this makes either brother good or bad or better than the other, i love joel sm and i think both of them have an undisputed capability to do unspeakable things in order to survive. but tommy got to a point where he hit a limit, whereas joel doesn’t seem to have one. this is at least my personal interpretation of their conversations in the game and the show
tommy DID join the fireflies, which we all know now is not any fucking better than whatever the fuck joel was doing—the difference is the reasoning, though, and considering tlou is all about reasoning and the why, we need to consider the reasoning behind tommy’s decision: he wanted to do something better, something good, something he thought had a purpose. we all know now that the fireflies are bullshit, their purpose is bullshit, and they’re willingness to kill a child for the sake of the “cure” is it’s own entire paradox of bullshit. but they were a rebel organization fighting fedra, who fucking suck, and probably had somewhat of a better reputation back when tommy was interested in joining—or maybe they didn’t, to be fair, i don’t know! the point is, tommy went to them seeking some sort of better purpose, some type of redeption; in joel’s own fucking words, “tommy’s what we used to call a joiner. had dreams of becoming a hero... wants to save the world.”
tommy is idealistic. he’s romantic. he’s optimistic, almost to the point of being fucking naive. thats why he enlisted in the army, thats why he enlisted in the fireflies—he wanted to feel good about himself and the world he was living in. he needed it to have some light at the end of the tunnel for all the bullshit to make sense. and yeah, he was wrong both times in joining up. we know that, joel knew that while it was happening, and tommy knows that in retrospect, too. i think jackson is the first place he really found true, real purpose—not the kind that is propagandized to you and goes up in smoke, but the kind that is well and truly earned. that’s why he is so loyal to jackson and to maria—they finally gave him was he desperately spent his life searching for
and im just saying, from maria’s perspective, she’s someone who lives for purpose. she lives for jackson and for it’s people and for it’s future, and she has to maintain some sense of idealism in the face of all that fucking ugliness to be able to mentally live im and run a place like jackson, to believe that it’ll work. i think that idealism she has, she sees reflected in tommy’s desperation to be a better person who’s fighting for a better life. she sees that need for redemption and goodness in him, that need for things to be fucking worth it, and hears she hears it in his story. she gets to relate to him with this in a way she doesnt GET TO RELATE with joel YET (we STILL HAVE TIME PEOPLE. WE HOLDIN OUT STRONG FOR THE JOEL AND MARIA BEST FRIEND AGENDA)
but to continue, THEN maria spends YEARS with tommy, getting to know him, getting to know his guilt. just like tess with joel, she’s sees the worst and the best of him and gets to fall in love with all of it. so of course there’s gonna be a bit of a bias and a blindspot, towards him—just like any of are other characters have weak spots for the people THEY fucking love
so that’s i guess why i think tommy is “accepted” by her, i guess, and there’s honestly way more them and their romance that i could make a whole separate post about but i’ll leave it there for now. back to joel and why he’s “damned,” which i don’t think he is
again, from what maria knows, he made an active CHOICE to stay in the lifestyle of smuggling and murdering and QZ bullshit, even after tommy chose to leave—and idk what y’all imagine joel and tess to be doing in those many years on their own, but it’s not fuckin picking flowers, for me. they’re dangerous, dangerous people—more dangerous that fedra, and more dangerous than the fireflies, if we’re being fucking real about it. and we LOVE tess and joel for this, or at least i do
but jackson is not a place where people get by with smuggling or backstreet deals or threats. it’s not supposed to be that place. we all LOVE jackson in fics and hcs and aus because it’s literally a place where joel and ellie finally get to breathe and not worry about their safety/survival first. and you know who keeps jackson that way????? MARIA. AND HE BEING FUCKING PICKING ABOUT WHO JACKSON LETS THE FUCK INSIDE
so yall just expect her to by YIPPY SKIPPY when joel, THE JOEL THE SUPER SMUGGLER MURDER COWBOY, strolls into town????? WITHOUT TESS, WHO WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE MORE PERSONABLE AND REASONABLE ONE???? what????? she’d be crazy not to at least try to be a little intimidating, to make it clear to joel that he will not get away with any of that qz bullshit here. she’d be naive not to, and maria is anything but naive
and i know most people don’t like her for that “a bad reputation doesn’t mean you’re bad” “not always, at least” line, but i actually think it really fits so well in establishing that she’s not afraid of joel, not afraid of challenging him or making him own up to things he’s done. it’s just so so cool to me, i just can’t hate her for that????? she’s establishing with him that she knows what tommy knows about his time in the QZ, and she’s letting him know if that joel shows up here in jackson, there will be fucking problems for him. which i think is a completely fair warning????
so let’s continue. let’s talk about The Scene, the one with her and ellie, the one with the “tommy was following joel” line. ONE thing i’d like to point out about this scene—MARIA IS THE ONE TO TELL ELLIE ABOUT SARAH, NOT JOEL. AND THAT IS A BIG BIG BIG REASON FOR WHY SHE WARNS ELLIE NOT TO TRUST JOEL COMPLETELY
we know what joel and ellie have gone through, at this point, but maria has barely any idea. she sees that ellie has this fierce protectiveness and lots of secrets when it comes to her and joel, which like—can we all be fucking objective here for a second. this can SO easily and SO reasonably be interpreted as something sketchy going on between joel and ellie that maria should be concerned about.
(slight tw about older men-younger woman relationships bc im gonna be personal for a sec, its quick) we don’t know maria’s past or what she has seen or been through, but personally as someone who has been in a situation where an older man has taken advantage of my naivety in the past, i am now extremely hyper vigilant when it comes to young girls around older men in my personal life today. ellie and joel’s situation and how it looks would raise MJAOR red flags for me personally, if i was in maria’s position. that’s just a personal perspective have that really affects the way i view this scene (end tw)
and so maria finds out that joel has kept the fact that HE HAD A WHOLE ASS DAUGHTER from ellie?????? WOULD THAT NOT BE SUS AT ALL TO YALL???? i mean we know why joel doesn’t tell ellie, as gameplayers and watchers of the show, but again. maria is operating on the info she has right in front of her, which is that joel has been omitting maybe the biggest fact of his life from this young girl who is willing to defend and trust him with her entire life, even after she finds out she’s being lied to. this is alarming
so at this point, she’s questioning joel’s intentions with ellie, and in my opinion, it’s not at all unreasonable for her to do so. she then continues to press, because the red flags are flying and she wants ellie to be crystal clear on the kind of man she’s traveling with (“there are CLEARLY things you don’t know about joel” — “so then you understand my concerns”)
AND THEN ELLIE. BLESSED SMART AMAZING ELLIE COMES IN WITH THE DEFENSE—“and tommy did it too, are you worried about him?”—which like, i love this line. i love this moment. i think because i go so hard for maria a lot of y’all think i’m blind to when ellie is making points, but i 100% cheered her on when i first watched this scene, like i’m sure y’all did—because it’s true! it’s fair! if maria is going to judge joel for those things, she needs to extend the same judgement to tommy
the thing is, it’s still fucking true that, as i said earlier, tommy left that life. both the smuggling, and the fireflies—he chose to stop, while joel didn’t—he was smuggling literally up until the day him and tess found ellie, so. there’s that. she continues to judge joel and not tommy because she knows for sure that tommy has changed. she doesn’t know joel enough yet to see that he has changed, too
so then, the dreaded line: “tommy was following joel.” let’s talk about it.
i don’t love this line either, tbh! i think it’s a weak defense on maria’s part, and a weak line on the tlou hbo writers part—probably my least favorite line of maria’s overall. but i do get why she says it, and i kind of think i get the purpose??? i think????
it reminds me a lot of joel’s line, earlier, about tommy being a “joiner,” and i think it’s funny that, as opposite as joel and maria like to think they both are to each other, the way they describe tommy is pretty much the same. tommy is a “joiner” to joel and a “follower” to maria, and in all respects they both love and hate him for it. idk where i’m going with that exactly, just something interesting to think about in terms of the joel and maria best friend agenda
but i also think this line get’s taken out of context a lot, because the full line is “tommy was following joel, the way you are now.” maria says this line to lead into her main point, the really fucking important line in this scene: “be careful who you put your faith in. the only ones who can betray us, are the one’s we trust.”
WHICH IS TRUE. IT IS THE POINT. AND WHEN JOEL LIES TO ELLIE, HIDES SOMETHING FROM HER YET AGAIN at the end of the season/game, IT BECOMES A THEMATIC CLIMAX POINT THAT CONNECTS BOTH OF THE GAMES
maria is not saying this to “damn” joel—and i personally don’t think she is “damning” joel in the way you imply here, as there’s definitely potential for them to develop a relationship in s2 once she has more information about the truth of how he thinks of ellie. i think she’s warning ellie not to trust joel, because she doesn’t trust joel, at the end of the fucking day—and that’s about it. she trusts tommy in a way that she can’t quite trust joel yet, and why would she, at this point? it would make no sense for her to
so y’all can blame her and hate her for her distrust all you guys want (btw not necessarily talking to you, anon, ive just gotten some very nasty asks about maria from others so im talking to them rn!!!!!!!), but i’m sorry—you can’t tell me that it doesn’t at least make sense. she’s MARIA. she’s MADE OF SENSE
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Tag Game: Writeblr Interview
Thanks @tildeathiwillwrite for the tag here!
I hesitate to tag as many people as this is one of those things where there’s no point in doing it twice but tagging:
@xenon-writes-sometimes, @rumeysawrites, @rivenantiqnerd, @leahnardo-da-veggie, @kaylinalexanderbooks, and an open tag!
This is going to be a long post so I’m adding a break here
Short stories, novels, or poems?
I cannot stand most poetry. Maybe it’s because I’m still in school and have to analyse it but I can’t deal with how abstract it can be. I want to write more short stories but my one and only WIP is probably gonna be closer to a novel, if and when I finish it.
What genre do you prefer reading?
Fantasy, especially high fantasy. Murder mysteries and detective stories in general are a close second. Most other genres are reserved for spin offs or fan fiction.
Are you a planner or a write as I go kind of person?
I make a plan that I then actively ignore my OCs force me to not use
What music do you listen to while writing?
Most of the time I listen to the one Reddit podcast I’ve listened to every episode of because I can zone out and I don’t miss anything important. This one is a bit of a bad habit because it distracts me, but EPIC the musical is my current hyperfixation and I listen to that constantly as well.
Favorite books/movies?
Because I have the reading comprehension of an 11 year old we have Murder Most Unladylike (I would die for this series), its spin off the Ministry of Unladylike Activity, The Hunger Games but only really the first book, How to train your dragon but only really the Netflix show and the first movie (the books are great but I haven’t read them in 7 or 8 years and because they’re so different from the movies I’m not sure if I’d like them anymore)
Any current WIPs?
Gold, Greed and Gods which is a vaguely Victorian fantasy about the main cast trying to find a cult before it engulfs the world in literal chaos. And also magical shenanigans and timeline fuckery
Create a character description of yourself:
Honestly I’d rather not. Sorry!
Do you like incorporating actual people you know into your writing?
No it kinda weirds me out. The closest I’ll get is asking my one irl mutual about their experiences with stuff that I (as a someone who is cishet and perisex) do not understand
Are you kill happy with your characters?
I’m not the biggest fan of angst so no. If anyone was gonna die you aren’t allowed to get attached to them so I don’t get attached them hence why the only dead characters in my WIP die before or very soon after it begins. That isn’t to say my characters aren’t affected, but I can only imagine any potential readers will be neither here or there about those characters.
Coffee or Tea while writing?
I don’t really like hot drinks but I hate the smell of coffee so tea?
Slow or fast writer?
A secret third thing which is I wrote 5000 words in 3 hours yesterday so for atleast the next week I won’t be able to string a sentence together
If you were in a fantasy world, what would you be?
A healer would be fun? I wanna be a doctor so I guess that’s close enough. I cannot imagine I’d survive very long without my glasses/ contacts in any case.
Most fav book cliche:
Not really a book cliche but horny bard memes will never not be funny. I also love juxtaposition between characters, if done tastefully, eg. Ray of sunshine is best friends/ dating the grumpiest character alive. I also just love ray of sunshine characters in general. Also, calm/ happy go lucky/ mentor figure characters who have really high body counts and it’s just kind of an open secret are really fun.
Least favorite cliche:
A lot of romance tropes are tied for last place: miscommunication, any reference or idea that firsts=better (virginity, first loves, one true love etc.), not like other girls
Also love triangles. The only good love triangles are the ones that end in polycules. No exceptions (/hj)
I probably just have a problem with like most romance stories
Favorite scene to write?
I love when characters reference unique worldbuilding things that I actually had to think about. Similarly, if I feel I’m doing them well, exposition dumps can be fun.
Reason for writing?
Because blirbos in my head yearn for freedom
On a more serious note, I’ve gotta do something healthy with all this escapism and maladaptive daydreaming.
Questions:
Short stories, novels, or poems?
What genre do you prefer reading?
Are you a planner or a write as I go kind of person?
What music do you listen to while writing?
Favorite books/movies?
Any current WIPs?
Create a character description of yourself:
Do you like incorporating actual people you know into your writing?
Are you kill happy with your characters?
Coffee or Tea while writing?
Slow or fast writer?
If you were in a fantasy world, what would you be?
Most fav book cliche:
Least favorite cliche:
Favorite scene to write?
Reason for writing?
Thanks again for the tag!
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mykelneedssleep · 10 months ago
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***Editing cause I can’t believe I forgot to mention my other Jacobi fic I have running where he keeps waking up in alternate universes but somehow they always revolve around Warren Kepler and I lowkey love it
I wish I was kidding when I say these three have been in my drive for over a year and I just haven’t been able to bring myself to do anything with them yet
Little more about your options:
1. Actually a personal fave because you know I love sad and this one is actually sad af. Jacobi attempts to build a life after the Hephaestus and everything he does keeps coming back to his lost team (particularly Kepler, he’s got a very fucked up messy relationship with Warren Kepler that he still doesn’t understand even after Kepler is dead)
2. The premise of this one was mostly Soap works for Shepherd before Price and is ordered to kill Graves and take his place as Shadow Company’s leader and take out the 141 so that there’s no loose ends. Don’t worry he doesn’t like doing it and I would say this one actually isn’t too bad on my angst scale
3. What can I say, I think about them way too much. I’ve literally created full lore for these funky little guys we saw in the books like twice and essentially it follows them from just before the timeline of The Raven Boys to after The Dream Thieves (I can’t say how far because it’s not done but I have little snippets of things they’re up to up until the fall after the Fourth of July). Anyway I love them and I think my little made up lore is cool
4. Idk bro, make a suggestion I guess, you all know what I do at this point I think or if you don’t you could probably make an educated guess based off the other three - I’ve been thinking of starting something either AFTG (again..) or maybe doing a marauders fic
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thatgirl4815 · 1 year ago
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Scheduling
I keep thinking and seeing speculation that Dangerous Romance will air on the 12th and Only Friends on the 18th, and while that is guaranteed to obliterate what little sanity I have, airing the pilot episode of two BLs right alongside each other seems like a questionable move. 
I’ve been looking into GMMTV’s timeline for other BLs that have aired in the past few years. And while 2-3 BLs have often aired in conjunction--like Be My Favorite and Hidden Agenda right now--I haven’t seen an instance where two BLs have actually started within one week of each other (...of course, maybe it has happened and I’ve just overlooked it, idk). 
I think there is no doubting that Dangerous Romance will air in August. With only 2 Qs left, filming should be all wrapped up within the next few weeks. Based on what we know of the plot and genre, I’d also say its safe to assume that it could fit in Be My Favorite’s spot. 
For Only Friends, I’m sure GMMTV is well-aware of the hype surrounding it. Both trailers for Only Friends and Dangerous Romance have the highest viewership on YouTube out of their 2023 lineup.
While I think it is perfectly plausible for Only Friends to air in August given where they are at in production (other shows have aired with far less filming done), in terms of viewership and popularity, it doesn’t make sense to me to put these shows together.
I’d guess then that Only Friends will air in early September. The only thing giving me pause with this speculation is what members of the cast have said about mid-August. But a trailer in mid-late August would technically count as content, so I could see this happening instead. I’m just not sure what show it would replace, since it seems like BLs traditionally take the spot of other BLs. Hidden Agenda’s spot will open in mid-September as opposed to early September so that seems less likely. 
So this ended up being just one big ramble. Just wanted to throw some more speculation into the mix. 
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Alternative Timeline
So as of yesterday I have been on Tumblr for a YEAR! A WHOLE YEAR being a part of this beautiful wonderful incredible community that we have all built. And it has changed my entire life. I’ve made friends who I hope will be in my life long after we’ve forgotten about these characters and this universe (will we ever though…?). I have crafted and written and collaborated. I have participated in a zine and cobbled together a couple of drabbles. I’ve had so much fun being your unofficial Keeper of the Shameless Timeline, trying to make some kind of sense of season 1 and, more recently, working alongside some of my favourite artists and people to build a whole ass calendar! It’s been the most wonderful year and I’m looking forward to the next! I’m not done doin this thing yet! 
Also, I know I haven’t been active these last couple of months, but I’ve noticed that there are a bunch of new people around these parts. I just wanted to say HI! HELLO! WELCOME!! I’m so glad you’re here! I see you all liking the things people are making and I know everyone appreciates the like, but I’m just gonna ask you to also hit that rb button! People are out here making things! For you! To enjoy! For free! Art and gif sets and fic! They take so much time, and it's so easy to show your appreciation! Just a couple of buttons! You don’t even have to go nuts in the tags (although we love that kind of unhinged behaviour around here). And if you wanna say hi to us, make some friends, I highly encourage it. It was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made.
Ok I’ll shut up now. Let’s talk timeline!
I have tried my best to follow the logic, though sometimes there is none, and follow the clues, no matter how few! And I have tried to do it with as little bias as possible.
HOWEVER!
You guys, I have a confession to make.
There is a possible other timeline that season one could follow.
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I do not like it! But, I am here to give you, my precious timeline enthusiasts, the truth! Even if it hurts me. Even if it makes no sense (because it often doesn’t. JW doesn’t believe in time). Even if it takes away the possibility of a Christmas bang and a New Year’s bang, which, truly, would be a tragedy and is the main reason I refuse to follow this other timeline.
Under the cut you will find the second possible timeline. You decide which you prefer, and tell me why! I need well-formed arguments for or against please!
Thank you all for being here with me this year. It hasn’t been an easy one, but you all have made it just a little bit better. I love you all!
Alternative Timeline
Episode 1: Remains the same at November 15, 2010. There is a calendar. Fiona points at it. No disputes here!
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Episode 2: This is where it all could change. Bear with me. There is a possibility that this episode might have taken place on January 28, 2011, over two months after the first episode. Here’s why: Frank gets his cheque the last Friday of the month. In both November and December, the last Friday is a holiday, so this acts with the assumption that this is now January and it’s been 2 months since the first episode. I don’t love this idea because nowhere else in this season do they make such a massive time jump.  A few weeks, maybe, but not two months. This also then changes the entire timeline. No Christmas/New Year’s bang, either. What do you guys think?
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Episode 3: As this episode starts the Thursday following the previous episode when Tony Takes Fiona to his award ceremony, it leaves Tony’s deflowering to have taken place on February 4.
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Episode 4: If I follow the logic of my original calendar which has episode 4 on the same weekend as episode 3, then this means this episode alternatively takes place on February 6th. This actually works quite well with an upcoming event in episode 6. 
Episode 5: I worked a little backwards here. I had to place episode 6 on February 16th, so the only date episode 5 could take place was February 12th-13th, meaning Kev and Vee got married on February 13th in this alternate timeline.
Episode 6: At the beginning of this episode, Carl hands Fiona a note from last Friday and it is now Wednesday. I initially made the assumption that it is Wednesday Dec 15th, however, in this alternative timeline, I’m placing this episode on February 16th. And there is evidence of this date. If you zoom in quite a bit, it’s got a date on it, February 11, 2011, the Friday before February 16th.  But I hate this timeline because it just doesn’t make sense! There is a calendar change in episode 8, two episodes from now! It goes from December to January in that episode. I can get that the calendar is unreliable, but if they’re gonna change it, why change it to the wrong month?? No. I refuse. But anyway. There is evidence.
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This now leaves us three weeks to squeeze in the Bangiversary, Slim Jims, and two episodes of Monica before we get to the last two episodes, which we know for a fact take place on March 18-20th, same as the original timeline. Here is the only way this would work:
Episode 7:  Episode 7 would be on February 18th-19th, making Ian and Mickey’s Bangiversary February 19th, getting rid of the possibility of a Christmas and New Year’s bang. Also, speeding up their entire first bit of their young relationship. We just went from a possible two months of secret fucking before Mickey was arrested to a mere two weeks? No! I don’t like it!!
Episode 8: This puts SlimJims and Milkovich-Ian Sandwich on February 25th-27th.
Episode 9: Frank would call Monica on March 5th and, she’d would show up around March 6th. That same night, Mickey is arrested. 
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Episode 10: On March 7th, Ian finds out he’s not Frank’s son and Monica abandons her children again.
Episodes 11 & 12: Remain the same. We know they take place on the Friday-Sunday after St. Patrick’s day.
I will admit, there is an elegance to the end here with the Karen storyline. In the original timeline, if she goes to the ball with her dad on February 21st, and then goes emo child on March 18th, about three weeks later. That doesn’t really fit, either. However, I could be convinced to move the entire Monica saga down so that it all happens in March instead of February. This could work actually. (Yes you are reading me figuring this out in real time, folks!)
WAIT!!! WHAT IF we have an alternative-alternative timeline?? And it looks like this:
We ignore the weird Carl teacher’s note thing from episode 6, and we keep episodes 1-8 the same as is in the original timeline, giving us the very, very important Christmas and New Year’s bang as well as more than two weeks of secret fucking, while episodes 9-12 look more like this second timeline, making the Karen storyline make more sense. Oh I think I like this!
Here are some visuals:
OG Timeline:
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Timeline 2.0
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Timeline 3.0
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WHAT DO YOU GUYS THINK?? Does anyone have opinions? Do we still care?? Did we ever…?
There you have it folks! Season One all tied up in…a really messy Gordian knot. I hope you enjoyed this journey as much as I have! On to season two! (I promise I won’t take a whole year this time!)
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alittlefrenchtree · 1 year ago
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I’M GOING TO SPOIL STUFF.
I’m also going to tag as best as I can but we never know if Tumblr is going to fuck things up and better safe than sorry so. In this post there are going to be:
Screenshots from the first dune part 2 trailer
Informations you get from the book, either in the first part or the second part.
Maybe informations from the Messiah book? Not sure.
If you’re not sure, better not read and quickly scroll. But if you don’t care and would like to see my endless rambling about the trailer, and if you haven’t read the book and would like a bit more detailed context about the Dune universe, sit down with me for a minute 💜 
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I'll never never never be tired of watching the desert shot by Denis. This is so smooth, so calming, so satisfying. My soul is happy 😌
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This is the first shot of the trailer that made me go ohmygod. I'm not sure what's going on exactly in this scene but I find these few seconds SO POWERFUL for some reason. I'd wish Herbert would have done more with Lady Jessica in the whole story (even if her not being really present gives more room to other very interesting characters) but I can't wait to see Lady Jessica in this part 2. The glimpses we see in this trailer are exciting (to say the least).
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When the talk was all about Florence vs Anya, I thought Anya was closer to what I had physically in mind for a character like Irulan. Seeing the trailer now, I think Florence's smartness, attitude and personality might be a very good thing for Irulan. Good move, Denis, good move.
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I love this shot and I love it even more because it could look like something form The Messiah. Or even the Children. Incredible. I love that Timmy's account used it for promotion.
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AH. That's where all the problem start. And the spoilers. I'm not sure what will be said in the movie so, maybe I'm not spoiling much but, still. Anyway.
If you don't know, this is Feyd-Reutha. He's the Harkonnen Baron's nephew and his heir. While Paul is the Baron's grand son. In the Bene Gesserit's plans, Paul was supposed to be a girl and marry Feyd. Their kid was supposed to be the Bene Gesserit's Kwisatz Haderach. As you must now from the first movie, all of this was fucked up because Lady Jessica gave Duke Leto the boy he wanted. In the book, Feyd is supposed to look a lot like Paul, to be a charismatic figure like him and everything. I'm not sure choosing to make Austin look like what they decided all the Harkonnens should look really serve this idea? I get that it's a good idea for cinema and a movie targeting the largest audience possible that Harkonnens all look similar so everybody can quickly understand the different sides, families and who's good and who's bad. (Truth is, everybody is bad in Dune. Except the mouse. The mouse can stay.) But, I also think that nothing looks more powerful and dangerous than a bad guy looking like a good guy (in narration standards). If I remember correctly, Feyd can be read as a bit of a mirror for Paul's character and I would have like to see a bit of this physically? I don't know. I want to be convinced because I am not really right now.
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I love sci-fi and fantasy universes exactly for these aesthetics. Mysterious items. It fascinates me probably because I would have no idea about how to write these kind of things myself.
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I clearly remember the moment I've read how Paul's skin was supposed to look like after 3 years living in the Arrakis' desert. And I remember thinking how the hell they're going to make this happened how Timmy's skin of all people. Like the guy would probably managed to burn in Glasgow so, I was doubtful. I still am since he still looks silky smooth for most of the trailer but i like the way his skin looks here. That being said, they seem to have made some kind of arrangement with the timeline of the story. I'll have more thoughts about it after seeing the movie.
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It might be just me but this piece of scene didn't sound very clear to me, even with memories of the book. Like, we don't know what looks like a normal worm ride so, are we supposed to understand what's going on and what's fancy? Plus what Paul's doing doesn't look fancy at all, it looks more like he's struggling sooo? It's not smooth, but not fancy either, so idk. Unless they're is a meaning of fancy that I don't know of, i'm a bit confused by this part. But this,
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this is genius. Perfect midway between admiration and fear. Exactly what is needed to look at Muad'Dib.
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I wonder why some parts are in black and white. Seems a bit easy for a vision and wasn't used in the first movie so it would be odd but i have no other theory.
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I'm a bit upset because if it's the scene I think it is, it was very different in my head. Maybe I don't remember correctly, but for me, in this scene Paul is talking to a couple of hundreds people top and is very close to them and for me it suits the Muad'Dib effect better? It's kind of hard to explain, especially in English, but for me, Muad'Dib doesn't really scream directly to thousands of people who can't barely see him to send them to war. I see him as a figure who will talk to the couple of hundreds people he's with and be so close to them you can see his reflection in their eyes. He's a legend in the sense of a belief. It's the idea of him, his words spreading from person to people and from people to person that make Muad'Dib who he is. I guess it would have been less impressive for a film like Dune but I was impatient to see this scene, a sort of prophetic version of his speech in the King, and now I'm not sure. I hope they did good but and that he's delivering his speech in a other scenery and then going there rather than having to shoot such a powerful moment in front of nothing and with no other possibility than to yell everything.
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After thought was to wonder if Timmy learned to radiate such confidence (especially in the scene of the second screenshot) for Paul or if Paul taught him to feel confident. Life as an actor must be so so weird.
Long story short, I know the movie is going to be fantastic but I have just a few interrogations about how certain things look. And last but not least, the work that the music does for this movie is PHENOMENAL, even if it's nothing that we haven't read before. Hans is a genius, I'd offer him my first child without a second thought. (i don't have kids. I don't want kids, so it's a way of saying, chill out.)
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ikatako38 · 1 year ago
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Time for a big announcement
(For real this time, please read all the way through)
Hey everyone! Time for a somewhat big announcement. It’s not exactly a fun announcement, but it’s probably something you’ve seen coming (and something I should’ve done a while ago).
With everything going on in my life recently, TPWCH is abandoning a regular upload schedule altogether.
To be clear, TPWCH is not canceled, or going anywhere. What this does mean is that chapters will come out whenever I get around to finishing them, and there won’t be a set schedule. You can probably expect chapters somewhere between one and three months apart. This also means that TPWCH will not be finishing anywhere near the projected timeline; in fact, we probably still have about a year more to go at this point.
A lot of things have affected this decision, but the biggest reason is probably not exactly what you’d expect.
Basically… I have friends now.
Last school year was in many ways a really fun time in my life, but it’s also the most lonely I’ve ever been. I didn’t have any friends irl, and as much as I didn’t want to live with my family, I still felt their absence too. My Discord server members, Tumblr followers, and AO3 commenters were all I really had at the time, and you’re all so important to me. You all helped me through a really lonely time in my life, more than any of you could know. So thank you for that, and thank you so much for sticking around even when I haven’t been uploading, because like I said you all matter a lot to me.
But this year, I feel like I suddenly found my place. I have two great irl friends and I’m dating someone who’s my whole world right now.* I really feel like I’ve found my Eight. (Or maybe Three, he’s a bit of both.) Just like Three and Eight, it’s not always perfect, but I still want to spend every second with him I can… especially since there’s a very real possibility that my time with him may have an expiration date.
TPWCH will always be here for me when I’m ready, but I don’t want to miss out on the fleeting moments of life. You can think of it as me going out into the field to gather experience so I can come back a better, fluffier writer. :3
Still, my promise remains that, no matter what, even if I’m in an elderly home and have to dictate it to my caretakers, I will finish TPWCH! (I’m sure it won’t take that long though, lol)
I really hope I can get back to providing regularly scheduled content soon, but until then I appreciate everyone’s continued support so much!!!
I'm happy to answer any questions you may have, just drop them in the replies here or in an ask!
~
*He's basically my boyfriend, but he doesn't want to make it official yet and I'm trying to be good about respecting that. So as annoying as it is, we're just referring to him as "person who Tako is dating"
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chvoswxtch · 7 months ago
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hi again, court!
it's once again the anon that sent the massive ass paragraphs rambling about the punisher after i finished watching it. i feel like i should either just un-anonymise myself or give myself a name or something to make it easier to identify myself?? but idk?? i'm still new to tumblr so i dunno how these things work
anyways, just wanted to say, i also am just so happy that they are taking the reboot seriously!! i only really got into like the daredevil/punisher in like the past year or so. so i feel like i don't really have the same grounds to stand on as some longer term fans but i just remember being so disappointed with karen/foggy originally not being part of born again so i'm so so glad that that changed and we have the true trio back. and frank being in it just makes me SO happy because i have become incredibly incredibly attached to frank (it might be a little unhealthy but big strong men who are morally questionable is my type haha)
i totally agree with season 2 feeling rushed, it definitely felt like some of the plots were supposed to be fleshed out more or like storylines would have carried on into a season 3 and billy not being fucked up enough is SO FUCKING REAL. like frank literally BRUTALISED him but he comes out looking okay?? like idk?? it just doesn't look convincing i feel like ben barnes' acting is good and he plays the subtle psycho (though you're right, him being more outwardly bloodthirsty and vengeful would have been AMAZING) but the visuals don't hit right. but this is such a wider issue with pretty actors in hollywood?? especially cause they also did it when he played the darkling in shadow and bone. i dunno if you ever watched shadow and bone but like his character should have been way more scarred but they just didn't make it as brutal as it probably would have been in reality and it makes me so mad because i just don't understand why??
AND THE WILL THING, LITERALLY, WHEN HE FIRST CAME ON SCREEN, I LOOKED AT HIM AND WAS LIKE 'is that?? is that WILLIAM LAMONTAGUE??' and then everytime he came on and was being psycho, i was like 'someone get jj to sort her husband out' and also this is so DUMB but i love to think that this is what will was doing during criminal minds and that's why we never see him, he was just off being pilgrim and terrorising frank, obviously it doesn't really work timeline wise BUT the thought of it just makes me laugh so it is now my headcanon.
I HAVE FOUND ANOTHER MADANI LOVER. that makes me so BEYOND ECSTATIC. I CANNOT TELL YOU HOW HAPPY THAT MAKES ME. karen is literally a stronger woman than i could ever be. both with madani and tbh with frank, i dunno how she doesn't crumble in front of either of them. like i wish i had karen's strength. but like yeah if madani even LOOKED at me, i would be spilling all of my goddamn secrets. i'm so glad i'm not the only one who sees the lack of love (i may end up trying to fix that with some fics hehe)! i am such a whore for her, it's actually insane. like the past few days since i finished watching it, she has been on my mind 24/7, what i would let her do to me is EMBARASSING. i love that woman so much and i'm so glad i'm not alone.
i'm done ranting for now but i cannot promise i won't ramble in your inbox again. i truly have punisher brainrot (and criminal minds brainrot too but that's not important right now)
thank you for reading my ramblings again <3
welcome back nonnie!
totally up to you love! if you’re not comfy coming off anon & wanna give yourself a lil nickname, that’s totally fine with me :)
don’t even worry about how long you’ve been in the fandom, that doesn’t matter. you’re here & your opinions & feelings are just as valid as everyone else’s. to your point about big strong men with questionable morals: yes
I haven’t watched shadow & bone but I have seen ben’s character in that role and maybe he’s the problem like maybe they try to make him look bad & it’s just impossible bc it’s ben barnes 🤷🏻‍♀️
LMAO pls that would be so funny. hey will what have you been up to lately? oh nothing just terrorizing the punisher in new york no biggie
karen is a strong woman bc the second frank or madani looked at me like that i’d fold & be like yeah literally anything you want I will give you. if you do end up writing any madani fics pls send them my way! i’ll get around to writing for her eventually. it’s been hard for me to focus on writing anything other than bodyguard frankie bc that’s my baby
I don’t ever not have punisher or criminal minds brainrot so pls feel free to rant with me anytime <3
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floraracoon · 10 months ago
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My personal thoughts on the horrors of the miraculous timeline (multiple events in Season 1 that due to their placement make it seem like Season 1 was four years long when in chronological order) and how I would address some things.
Please keep scrolling past if you don’t want to hear about this.
1) Birthdays/Major events.
I ended up reorganizing these plot points awhile ago for a fic so I have this pre-prepared for the most part.
The most problematic ones are the birthday episodes and the ones that have mention of specific holidays or the like. Stormy Weather is the one that most bring up but Dark Cupid also has us jumping from like early September to February.
As the kids have confirmed zodiac signs to my knowledge, the birthdays will be placed accordingly. So like Timebreaker would be around April which would be late in season 1. Evillustrator would be around May, and as such would also be around there. Befana would be happening around July, so it would be more towards Stormy Weather. This continues on for awhile, and generally there are some points that needed to be grabbed from later seasons such as Befana.
2) Marinette’s stalking behavior
⚠️Spoilers for Season 5⚠️
As many have pointed out, the placement of Marinette’s whole “backstory as to why she knows a creepy and high key illegal amount about Adrien” is… very retcon like. Especially considering that she only showed this behavior with Adrien. While this can be explained as just his being friends with Chloe, I feel there is a way they could have done this better.
By pushing back when she starts doing it.
Hear me out: If we have an episode back when Kim was Chloe’s lacky where Marinette explains why she’s been freaking out around Adrien, and maybe even avoiding him by telling this story to the girl squad it fixes some things.
Does it excuse her behavior? No. But there is a way that they could turn this into a lesson for the children that are the target audience. Middle schoolers are often in love with love. They want to be in relationships without the issues that come with it. They don’t know a lot because they haven’t been around a lot. The kids are SUPPOSED to be around middle school age being about 13-14 years old. But if they have it so this scene not only shows us these girls becoming friends, but also give the girls motivation to try and make a ship happen (something that also often can happen) then there could be a slow corruption arch of sorts where Marinette is pushed by her friends to get over her fear of loving Adrien by getting to know everything.
And since they are in fact children and mob mentality exists, suddenly you have 2-3 over eager girls pushing Marinette to do this.
This could eventually culminate in her pushing back around Season 4, as due to her having dated Luca without needing everything the girls had planned to get her with Adrien (also giving explanation as to why it is that they keep trying to set her up with Adrien while she is dating Luca) she realizes that what was happening was incredibly unhealthy. Maybe she explodes due to stress and heartbreak, and they think that she is just hiding something and that she isn’t genuinely hurt by what they’ve done.
Those who were enthusiastic about it (Mylene, Rose, and Alta likely due to how Alix behaves and Juleka wanting Marinette to stay with Luka) would be akumatized into the Gang of Secrets or something similar. Maybe Alix and Juleka also get akumatized due to either proximity (lending a whole new light as we know individuals can break out of group akumatization later on) or due to realizing how much their lack of pushback on the other’s enthusiasm hurt Marinette.
We get through Gang of Secrets and Marinette asks for space from the others. They all walk out. Maybe she asks Alix to stay back as she knows Alix will one day have the bunny miraculous and will know her identity eventually. Maybe she asks Alya in a later episode to stay back and tells her.
But either way we get a way to show children that if they feel their friends are causing them harm, it is ok to ask for space and maybe even sever ties with them for awhile.
Later on Marinette will have a girl squad again. Maybe it will be the same group but in a healthier way, maybe there’s some new members.
But either way, it makes it so trauma isn’t seen as an excuse for bad behavior and gives the children a message to carry with them as they go through some of the most emotional parts of their lives.
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saltyseagoat83 · 1 year ago
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Twenty Questions for Fic Writers
Tagged by @1lostsoul0fishbowl <3
1. How many works do you have on AO3?
9 with many more planned
2. What’s your total AO3 word count?
211803 at this time, between all fics
3. What fandoms do you write for?
All my works at this time are for Stranger Things, but I have some starters in progress in google docs for The Witcher and Shadow and Bone 
4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
I Was Born to Love You - Modern Steddie AU with hints of other ships - One-shot
Extroverts and Introverts - Eddie/OC - Series
How It Should Have Been - Eddissy/Hellcheer centric overall ST AU fix-it - Series
Life Is Ours, We Live It Our Way - Edancy (Eddie/Nancy) AU season 3 timeline - Series
Tied for 5th:
The Unnamed Feeling - Billy/OC - Series
Running Away, Running Toward - Eddissy (aka Hellcheer) ‘Chrissy lives’ AU - Series
5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?
I do as often as I can, but while I read them all I don’t always have time or energy for replies
6. What is a fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
I haven’t written any such endings, tbh.  I’m too much of a sucker for happy endings (and I don’t mean that sexually).  Plus, aside from one-shots, I haven’t finished any of my fics yet.  They’re all works in progress.
7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
Both of my one-shots, mainly because no other fics have endings yet xD
8. Do you get hate on fics?
Not yet, and I hope I never do.  I already have self-esteem issues related to a combo of abuse lasting from 6-7ish through 15/16 and bullying from as far back as preschool up through those same years.
9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
I do on occasion, when the mood strikes.  The fluffy kind that involves 18+ only.  All lovey and shit.  Little bit of kink to it but nothing hardcore.  No slapping, degradation, humiliation, etc.  No underage of any kind, no scato/uro/necro/emeto type paraphilias, no cheating.
10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?
I haven’t done so yet, but I’m not ruling out the possibility.
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
To my knowledge, no
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
Not that I’m aware of
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?
Not exactly, but I do forum-based RP so… kind of adjacent maybe?
14. What’s your all-time favorite ship?
Oh my goddess.  Don’t ask me this.  Especially without narrowing it down to a single fandom.  I have -far- too many ships I love, both canon and otherwise lmao.
15. What’s a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?
Hell if I know.  It may take me forever and a day, but I do intend to finish all my fics one way or another.
16. What are your writing strengths?
Uhm…. not sure on this one. I'm too harsh a critic of myself to be able to accurately answer this.
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
I refuse to write fics that involve cheating or love triangles, especially those involving any main characters of said fic. A little jealousy here and there is the most I'll do, and not with any regularity.  I have ONE fic that involves active abuse and only included the bare minimum necessary for that.  (It’s the Billy/OC fic I mentioned above.)  I can’t and won’t do more than the minimum, b/c it’s a triggery subject for me so I have to be very careful with reading or writing such subject matter. I also feel like people may not enjoy my smutty scenes as much as they do other writers', because I don't do the heavy BDSM (spit, slapping, spanking, degradation, humiliation, etc) that so many others do.
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?
I’m only fluent in English, so I’d need the help of Google Translate for that.  I’ve used it for RP stuff, but not in fic writing yet.
19. First fandom you wrote for?
I can’t remember exactly.  First fandom RP was… I -think- Star Wars.  First published fanfic was Stranger Things (Running Away, Running Toward).  First fandom writing at all… ummm… maybe some Disney thing or other when I was a kid?  I’m not entirely sure.
20. Favorite fic you’ve written?
This is like asking me to pick which of my 4 cats is my favorite hahahahaha.  But also, I regularly question my skills as a writer, b/c self-esteem issues.  >.>
Random tags: @thatbagginsbitch @hellfire--cult @andvys @munson-blurbs
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