#i know i don’t share the more negative views I get but i see them all and you’re all valid i promise

[dindjarindiaries]

It’s been disheartening to see the unity and safety of The Mandalorian fandom disappearing week by week. I’d like to say we can all safely express how we feel about this season—good, bad, or in between—without feeling as if we’re going to face hostility. If our feelings aren’t harmful towards others, then they’re always valid, no matter how they differ.

At the end of the day, we’re all here because we love Din Djarin and Grogu. We should let our love for them bring us together just as the Mandalorians are doing the same. We’re stronger together! No matter how we feel about the story going forward, we all want to see Din and Grogu be happy. We should work together to keep each other feeling safe and happy, too.

[misojunnie]

CHERRY ─ psh. ❀

a lollipop a day keeps park sunghoon away…

# genre: outcast!sunghoon x class prez!fem!reader, enemies to lover, slow burn, high school au, 90’s au

# warnings: insults, minor violence, substances/partying, cursing, lil makeout sesh, minor bullying, portrays some idols in a bad light; inaccurate and not how I view them!

# featuring: sunghoon & enha! + txt + aespa

# playlist: not for sale by enhypen, still into you by paramore, chaser by woodz, high school sweethearts by melanie martinez

# a/n: hi guys!!! it’s insane that the cherry teaser got so many likes omg. ty guys so much!! plz enjoy <3 (dont let this flop)

# word count: 13.1k

# taglist: @alicesolengg @ningngyu @ramenoil @simjakeissohot @skzenhalove @parkhonnie @denleave1088 @voidbeomgyu @ilymarkchan @everyoneluvscheol @haerinpham @fakeuwus @chesh1re-cat @advesperamz @papiibuprofen @loveliii @cutiejseong @luvyouchuu @hancafe @aeminju @chaerybae @b1ndignity @edilysoob @river-06 @fariylixie0915 @amortenha @hoonpalettes @asyleums @moonmoongi @jyndre @parksunghoonsgf @whippedforbeomgyu @dianzed @soobliss-blog @manooffline @iscocohere @saythenameseventeen178 @woniewonn @luv4cheol @tinylittlebuggi @h-hazwie @ddazed-lhs @enhacolor @hiqhkey @webqrl @ilovewonyo @aesunghoon @hanienie @jrjr289

it isn’t a well disguised fact that park sunghoon doesn’t like you–no, hate would be a better word. park sunghoon hates you, and he makes it clear to everyone who knows him. but when you leave him a different flavored lollipop every day, it gets a little harder to loathe you.

[more under the cut!]

˗ˏˋ꒰ 🍒 ꒱

𝐋𝐄𝐌𝐎𝐍 - chapter i.

Park Sunghoon finds solace in the fact that he annoys you. 

He isn’t sure he truly does, as you’re quite adept at keeping your face blank when something pisses you off. But for a moment, that bright, customer-service smile slips, and the left corner of your lip twitches when he sneers at you from across the room. That’s how he likes it. He likes that he has an effect on you, negative or otherwise, although it was always the former.

“You need to let it go.” Jake sighed as he watched Sunghoon’s eyes follow you across the room when you stand to pass out the second semester chemistry syllabus. “I don’t even understand why you don’t like her."

“How could you not?” he phrased his question like a statement.

“Well, first of all, she’s my math tutor.” Jake says, smacking the top of his best friend’s head with a rolled up spiral notebook, crumpling his notes. “So I have to get along with her. And second of all, she makes it pretty easy considering she’s such a catch.” Sunghoon groaned in annoyance, a petulant frown on his pretty face.

“God, you’re so brainless.” Sunghoon whined. “You’re just another one of the idiots completely infatuated with her.” 

Well, why wouldn’t he be? You’re the president of the school council, head of the party planning committee, photographer of the yearbook club, and the school newspaper’s best writer. It’s an intricate balancing act, and a wonder that you could keep it up on the daily.

“I’m not infatuated.” Jake said with an indignant hiss. “I just don’t hold stupid grudges– shit, she’s coming.” The Aussie cleared his throat and painted an enthusiastic and eager smile onto his face as you approached the boy’s shared table.

“Good morning.” you chirped, and Jake grinned in response. “Here’s the syllabus.” You passed a double sided sheet of paper to each of them, gently setting it down on the desk. It didn’t escape Sunghoon’s attention that his was wrapped up in a roll, a piece of tape closing the document into a cylinder. You sent him a soft smile, looking at him through your lashes, before backing away from the table and moving onto the next pair of students who were waiting to receive their assignment. Sunghoon rolled his eyes, hesitantly peeling off the strip of adhesive and unrolling the paper to reveal the object inside, Jake peering curiously over his shoulder in an attempt to see.

“God, she’s still at it.” Sunghoon groaned, reaching down to pick up a small lollipop, a vivid yellow and wrapped in a holographic piece of cellophane with a little red ribbon tying it closed. “I thought she might’ve stopped.”

“Dude, you’re so lucky.” Jake breathed enviously, and Sunghoon looked at him with distaste. “You know how many guys in this school would kill to get a lollipop from her?” Sunghoon ignored his best friend's implorations, unwrapping the treat and shoving it into his mouth. 

Lemon. He hated lemon. 

When he looked back to the front of the classroom, you were setting the remaining stack of papers on the teacher’s desk, peeking at Sunghoon’s reaction. You seemed somewhat pleased to see the boy sucking on the sweet you had left him, and you sent a bright smile in his direction. His eyes were drawn to your shirt, which was adorned with what he thought was a very tacky depiction of a dove and some hearts, and he inwardly grimaced. Apparently, it wasn’t too inward judging by the look on your face. 

He smirked, lifting up his hand and subtly sending you a different kind of bird with his middle finger. Your smile dropped entirely, and you rubbed your lips together in annoyance, retreating to your desk with a mix of frustration and despondence. That made him very satisfied.

“Would it kill you to be nice for once?” Jake asked, a skeptical look on his face as he watched the entire encounter go down. Sunghoon shrugged, setting his hand down on his desk and strumming his slender fingers on the wooden surface.

“Probably.”

˗ˏˋ꒰ 🍒 ꒱

Today was yet another failed attempt at making Park Sunghoon like you. 

You had to admit, you weren’t entirely pleased with your lollipop arrangement, and by that, you meant that you hated it. Treating Sunghoon like a human being with real emotions was so hard when he was such a piece of shit. You let out an exhausted sigh, hopping onto the counter of the candy shop. Your best friend laughed at your theatrics, wiping his hand with a white rag and tossing you a packet of red licorice.

“What’s the problem?” Jungwon asked inquisitively as though he didn’t already know the answer. “Sunghoon again?” His tone was filled with pity, and you hated it. You rolled onto your stomach, ripping open the packaging and tucking one of the red ropes into your mouth with a heavy sigh, blinking twice hard, before frowning.

“He’s not budging.”

“That’s a shame. I’m almost out of lollipop flavors.” Jungwon tutted with disappointment, reaching into his pocket and removing his hand with a treat, barely able to hold back the anticipating grin on his face. He tossed it to you. “Or am I?”

“You’re a lifesaver.” you sighed, pocketing it. “I’m not sure how you keep coming up with more.” Your best friend simply shrugged, tucking his hands into his pockets.

“Chef’s secret,” he smiled.

Jungwon had adored candy since you met him, but the only thing he adored more than eating candy was making candy. This came in handy during basically every holiday or romance related occasion. A handmade bouquet of chocolate covered strawberries, a box filled to the brim with toffee, or a lollipop. He liked lollipops the most. “Maybe you should stop with the lollipops. I’m down to my last vial 0f strawberry flavoring and our restock isn’t until next Monday.” he scrunched his nose up at the thought.

“What if he gets pissed off once I stop giving him them, and then he gets even meaner?” you wondered aloud. “What would I do then?”

“Um, report him to the principal?” Jungwon suggested, like it was the most obvious thing in the world, and you shot up into a sitting position.

“Absolutely not.” you hissed. “I have to beat him.” You raised your fist to the air, seething with vengeance. “I will make that pretty bastard like me, goddamn it.” This was it. Jungwon was convinced that you had finally gone ‘round the bend. A ringing sound resounded through the shop as someone pushed through the front door with a grin.

“Did someone say pretty bastard?” he said, arms held out playfully as he turned his nose up to the ceiling. You only pouted in response. “Awww, baby what’s wrong?” he asked, circling his hands around your waist and pressing a kiss to your forehead while Jungwon stuck out his tongue.

“Oh, it’s nothing.” you dismissed the topic with a wave of your hand and a sigh. You knew very well that if Heeseung got word of the way Sunghoon was treating you, you’d have a dead body on your hands. “How was practice?”

“Pretty good. Coach says I’m doing well. Could get a scholarship.” He cuddled up to you, until something hard and spherical hit him in the face, and he gripped his nose with a groan, bending down to pick up the fallen object.

“No cuddling in the store.” Jungwon said, a hand on the door as he came back to the counter, a thin white stick protruding from his mouth. “It’ll scare the customers.”

“Likely.” Heeseung scoffed, yet he pulled the wrapper off the lollipop and shoved it in his mouth, swirling the sphere on his tongue. “You wanna go see that new movie, Ten Things I Hate About You? It’s playin’ tonight and Beomgyu said it’s good.” You laughed, pulling the lollipop out of his mouth with a wet ‘pop’ sound, and tucking it between your own lips. Jungwon gagged on his lunch.

“I don’t trust any movie that Beomgyu says is good.”

“Ah, c’mon babe. It’ll be fun.” he said, returning his hands to your waist as you smiled. He had a way of making you smile even when you were at your lowest.

“Alright.” you caved, and he pumped his fist, planting a kiss on your cheek.

“Glad you said yes, because I already bought tickets.” You chastised him, but he only laughed and grabbed your waist, lifting you off the counter like a sack of potatoes while you shrieked. “Thanks for the sucker, Won!”

“Yeah, yeah. Have fun!” he yelled after the two of you until you were out of sight, hopping into his old Dodge Viper with lovesick, giddy smiles on your faces. Then the boy sighed, rolling his eyes. “Pricks.”

˗ˏˋ꒰ 🍒 ꒱

“Red Vines.”

“Gotta be Charleston Chews.”

“Ew, no fucking way. Charleston Chews are just s'mores without the best part.” you scoffed, finger wagging in your boyfriend’s face as the exasperated teenage cashier watched you argue about your candy choices for the movie you were about to watch.

“I’ll let that go, because I love you.” he warned. “But Charleston Chews are the best candy.” Despite his protest, he reached for the Red Vines on the shelf and dropped them next to the cash register as he removed his wallet from his pocket.

“Thanks, baby.” you kissed him on the cheek, and he sent you a grin for the reward. “But they definitely taste like shit.” you said cheekily, and he smacked you lightly on the top of the head, before grabbing your Red Vines and pulling you away.

“I’ll get you back for that.” He teased, and you stuck your tongue out. “Oh shit, I left my Coke at the register.” You laughed at his blatant forgetfulness as he smacked himself in the forehead. “Go, hurry. I’ll wait here.” He darted out the exit, excusing himself and apologizing as he ran past a pair entering the theater, almost knocking their popcorn out of their hands. “Where’s he off to in a rush?” one of them asked incredulously, the other mumbling incoherent responses as they seated themselves. Great, the teenage cynics who apparently had a grudge against your boyfriend were sitting right next to you.

“Heeseung’s really been busy lately.” one said, and your ears perked up at their use of his name. “With scholarships, and all that. Must be hella tired.” The voice sounded oddly familiar, but you couldn’t exactly place who it belonged to.

“Yeah, as if.” another scoffed. “He’s probably busy making out with his fuckface girlfriend.” Your eye twitched.

“C’mon, don’t be mean. What’s she ever done to you?’ another said.

“She’s awful. You’re so gullible.” the same disparaging voice said, and you huffed. You recognized that drawl, you had heard it somewhere but you weren’t sure where. “Heeseung’s an idiot. The both of them can go to hell.” Enough was enough. You stood, reaching over to the cynical boy sitting directly next to you and grabbed the front of his shirt, and even though you couldn’t see his face, you could feel his shock.

“You got something to say about me and my boyfriend?” you hissed.

“Have you had your break today? We all need to get away, there’s one place that’s on your way,” the jolly actors sang as the screen suddenly lit up with an advertisement, the lights turning on and revealing the boy before you. 

“Y/n?” Sunghoon asked incredulously, and you grit your teeth. He got a reaction out of you. You had completely played yourself.

Despite your instant regret, you continued to grip on his shirt. “Park Sunghoon.”

“What are you doing here?” he hissed under his breath, and your eyes darted to Jake, sitting beside him. He looked utterly stunned. He had never seen you react to Sunghoon’s tauntings before; even Sunghoon never had the pleasure of seeing you burst out in a properly angry reaction.

“Seeing a movie with my boyfriend.” you muttered. Sunghoon didn’t respond, and you thought this might be the first time you had seen him off guard.

You dropped his shirt, letting him plop back down onto the cushioned seat.

You had seriously messed up. Sunghoon was never supposed to see you angry, more than anyone. You were about to do some damage control when Heeseung strode straight through the swinging doors with a box of Charleston Chews and a plastic cup of Coke so large it looked like it could cause diabetes immediately upon consumption.

Heeseung always had incredibly bad timing.

“Hey baby.” he slid into the seat next to you, pecking a kiss onto your cheek. He coughed on his soda pop when he saw the pair staring at him, seated directly next to you, one boy looking at him like he had just ran over his cat. “Oh, hey guys. Jake,” he said, nodding to the older boy of the two. “How’s varsity tryouts?”

“Going good.” Jake said meekly. The two were acquainted from their time on the rugby team, yet Jake suddenly felt extremely intimidated by the older boy. You said nothing, leaning back in your seat with a perturbed look on your face.

Once you and Heeseung finally struck up a conversation, Jake leaned in and grabbed the front of Sunghoon’s shirt with an extremely stressed expression.

“Are you trying to get us killed?”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know.” Sunghoon snapped, not sounding sorry at all. “Christ, you really had to book the seats right next to Jack and Joan Sprat?”

“I didn’t know they’d be sitting there.” Jake said through gritted teeth, and it was easy to see that the poor boy was at his breaking point. “I would just like to get through this movie peacefully.” he rubbed his temples, expecting protest. But to Jake’s surprise, the boy didn’t complain. He was much too busy staring at you. “Sunghoon?”

“Yeah, I got it.” the boy rolled his eyes, turning away. Jake looked at him in a double take, shocked at the boy’s compliancy, but pleasantly surprised. 

Maybe this would be a nice trip to the theater after all.

Of course, nothing could be peaceful when you and Sunghoon were in the same room together. The tension was undeniable, even to your oblivious boyfriend.

Safe to say you only registered about half of the movie.

Not to say that the film wasn’t engrossing. In fact, you were beginning to seriously enjoy it. Sunghoon, however, was enjoying the movie a bit less than you were.

“This is so fucking stupid.” he muttered to Jake as the main characters bickered on screen. “This would never happen in real life.”

“That’s why it’s a movie, dumbass. Now can you shut up? You’re seriously bumming me out.” Jake snapped back, slapping the back of Sunghoon’s head. Sunghoon reached over to retaliate, knocking his cup of Sprite over in the process, spilling the entire contents of the plastic container directly onto your skirt. You squealed, and Heeseung cursed, pulling you up as he dug in his pockets for napkins. You glared at Sunghoon and saw that he looked rather surprised at his own action, and for a moment you doubted if he did it on purpose. But then the look of shock shifted into one of satisfaction, and you chose to not give him the benefit of the doubt.

“Gosh, I’m sorry.” Sunghoon said in a way that told you he wasn’t sorry at all.

“That’s one hell of a mess.” Heeseung kissed his teeth, attempting to use the napkins to clean off your skirt, but the people behind you began to boo at your obstruction of their view. “Alright people, Jesus. We’re moving.” He took your hand and pulled you back down, still attempting to dry you off. While you greatly appreciated the effort, it was doing practically nothing to help.

“It’s okay, Hee.” you said, pushing his hands off with a tight smile. “It’ll dry.” You sighed, reaching for the box of Charleston Chews. You didn’t even like this stupid candy, but you needed something sweet to calm your temper or you were going to kill someone. Your hand exited the box covered in melted chocolate, and you threw your head back in displeasure. But suddenly, an idea struck you.

The sacrifice of your boyfriend's candy was worth it.

You sloppily upturned the box into Sunghoon’s lap, the half-melted chocolate slipping onto his light tan pants as he inhaled sharply, his lip pulled between his teeth. 

“Whoops.” you said with a smile, turning back to the screen.

Sure, you were done being nice to Park Sunghoon. But you still tucked a sucker into his pocket, hoping he would find it on his way home and at least have some kind of consolation for his ruined trousers.

˗ˏˋ꒰ 🍒 ꒱

Sunghoon collapsed onto his bed, reaching under his bed frame for something beneath. When his hand emerged, it held a dark green spiral notebook, with a pencil held by a strap of elastic. He swirled the lollipop around his mouth, thinking carefully for a few moments before flipping to the next open page on his notebook.

“June 15th, 1999… Strawberry… cheesecake…” He mused under his breath as he jotted it down on the lined paper, biting the inside of his left cheek with furrowed brows. “Maybe just strawberry cream?” he thought to himself, biting the end of his pencil before shaking his head. “Had to be cheesecake.” He surely sounded insane to anyone who was listening from the outside, yet this was a nightly routine for the teen, notebook and pencil in hand as he pondered the flavor of the day.

He had tasted birthday cake, banana split, bubblegum, gingerbread, black licorice, pina colada, pretty much any flavor that even Willy Wonka himself could come up with. He thought he might’ve had every lollipop flavor in the universe, and the pages of his notebook had become worn with your endless supply of sugary treats.

However, he did find it odd that you had never given him cherry before.

˗ˏˋ꒰ 🍒 ꒱

𝐀𝐏𝐏𝐋𝐄 - chapter ii.

There was something you had never told anyone. Not to Heeseung, not even to Jungwon, and you told him just about everything, maybe too much. No, this secret went untold, and you planned to take it with you to your grave.

Park Sunghoon was your first love.

It’s not like he ever loved you back. This was your freshman year of high school, the first time you met the young charmer, who at the time was wide eyed and raven haired, quiet and not very conversational. At the ripe age of 14, he wasn’t fully comfortable in his skin yet, not making many friends and focusing on building his figure skating career rather than on his grades. He was nerdy, he was awkward, and he was always alone in the cafeteria, picking absentmindedly at his food while he daydreamed. 

He was beautiful. You found yourself unable to look away.

Even in your freshman year, rising up the school hierarchy wasn’t difficult. You joined the school council in your first week at Decelis High, easily acquiring the vice president position once election day came around, leading you to take the president position eventually. You started writing in the newspaper club in your second month of high school, your teachers recognizing your potential and promoting you to head editor as well as a journalist, and students immediately began to respect your brave commentary on the school’s weak ethics and poor handling of their students. School was improved when you joined, and the student body found that their day brightened up when you walked down the hall with your signature smile. 

Which is why it was odd that you fell hopelessly head over heels for a quiet boy who interacted with no one and didn’t speak unless spoken to, head perpetually in the clouds. And despite your undeniable popularity, he never paid a lick of attention to you.

It took until your junior year for him to even speak to you. When his head wasn’t somewhere over the rainbow, he was focusing on skating, skipping classes to run to the rink for a quick session with his trainer. And when he wasn’t skating, he was playing soccer. Through the rose tinted lenses of love, you thought he was an excellent player, but supposedly his coach didn’t agree. He was benched for nearly all his games.

You never told him you had feelings for him, but the closest you came was when you showed up to the soccer game he was playing in with a button on your shirt that said “Go Sunghoon!”. You cheered for him the entire time, even if the only reason he was playing was because Kang Taehyun had sprained his ankle. 

Sunghoon scored one goal, but the more experienced player had sucked up the pain and decided to jump into the game last-minute, scoring the winning goal and sending the audience into a frenzy like they had just won the olympics and not an amateur high school soccer game. The team picked up Taehyun on their backs and ran around the field toting him on their shoulders like a trophy, and poor Sunghoon was left on the bench with a frown, wishing that he could’ve been the one on their shoulders being celebrated. You felt so bad for him that you stood up, cupped your hands around your mouth and yelled for his attention, garnering weird stares from those next to you, but you didn’t care. When you yelled his name with a cheer, he looked up into the stands and sent you the most luminous smile you had ever seen, one that could’ve made the sun itself envious of his radiance.

Which is why it confused you when he hated your guts less than a year later.

You never really understood why Sunghoon disliked you. It was a mystery, not only to you, but to everyone who knew about it, even Jungwon, who had seen more ugly and intolerable sides of you than anyone. Nobody really knew why Park Sunghoon despised you, so they just stopped trying to figure out why. 

But not you. You needed to know why he didn’t like you, why the boy who you loved so dearly ended up hating you so much he was spiteful at your mere existence.

Your first memory of Sunghoon was the first day of high school, when he came through the school gates with a big, red sucker in his mouth and an overwhelmed look on his face. So you decided lollipops were the best way to win him over. 

But with every canned stick of orange creamsicle, every discarded cotton candy and crushed lemonade, your feelings slowly left you until the love you once felt for the boy disappeared as he left his tally on your heart, then faded into nothing.

Then you met Heeseung. On January 1st, just as the clock struck midnight at Choi Yeonjun’s New Years party, he asked you to be his girlfriend. And suddenly, you didn’t really care if Sunghoon loved you back or not.

But you never stopped wanting him to like you.

˗ˏˋ꒰ 🍒 ꒱

You were entirely done with being nice to Park Sunghoon. After nearly a year of being treated like the scum on the bottom of his shoes, you weren’t afraid of him anymore, you weren’t afraid of showing him how truly done you were. But Jungwon still had buckets full of lollipops left for you, so you supposed the lollipop charade could go on for a bit longer.

You still didn’t like him though. That’s what you told yourself.

“She’s acting differently.” Sunghoon scrunched his eyes into scrutinizing crescents as he watched you stride down the hallway nonchalantly. Just a moment previously, you had met his eyes while you walked, textbook clutched to your chest, and rather than sending him a joyous smile or a wave, you ignored him as though he wasn’t even there, which shocked him thoroughly. 

Plus, it was the fourth period and you hadn’t even given him a lollipop yet.

“You’re just salty that she poured her Charleston Chews on you. You’re imagining it.” Jake scoffed, eyes attached to his book, scanning over every word.

“No, you don’t get it.” Sunghoon huffed exasperatedly, arms crossed as he watched you saunter to Heeseung’s side and allow him to pull you into his embrace. “She’s never ignored me like this before. She doesn’t just… look away.”

“So she doesn’t like you anymore. Big deal.” Jake shrugged, but Sunghoon seemed rather upset by this sudden change of events. “You fumbled the bag, that’s all.” Sunghoon’s eyes shot to his shorter companion as they narrowed.

“What do you mean?”

“C’mon, dude. You had y/n y/l/n, the ultimate sweetheart of Decelis High, practically begging for your attention, and you were nothing but mean to her. I mean, anyone would want to be in your place. Of course she’s sick of you.”

“Yeah but-”

“But nothing.” Jake punched Sunghoon’s arm, putting a soft dent in the fabric of his puffy jacket, and the weaker of the two winced. “You were fucking bogus.”

“Yeah, I get it.” Sunghoon snapped, swatting Jake’s hand away with a scowl. “I was a loser.” When Jake nodded, affirming Sunghoon’s self-diss, he sent him a glare. “Well, what am I supposed to do about it?”

“Nothing, bro. Just move on and stop being such a dick.” Jake shrugged, walking away with his nose still buried in his book, leaving Sunghoon to think. Did he really care if you didn’t like him anymore? Would it be so bad for you to continue to ignore him? 

The answer was yes. Undeniably so, because he despised you, and it only brought him more joy to see you struggle. Sunghoon liked being catered to, and you had just taken away his greatest pleasure. 

The game was on.

“Jake, it’s simple.”

“No, it’s not.” Jake rubbed his forehead frustratedly as you attempted to explain the permutation formula to him for the fortieth time that day. He was supposed to be good at math, at least that’s what Jay said, and Jay was almost always right. However, you realized after a few tutoring sessions that Jake was a bit less attentive in math class as his friend made him out to be. “Why is there an exclamation point?”

“The exclamation point is to demonstrate how you’re supposed to multiply the number by each number following it, consecutively.” Jake looked like you had just told him to grow wings and fly, and you took the paper from his hand with a small giggle. “Jesus, Jake. You look like you got three hours of sleep last night and your dog shit in your cereal.” He let out a chuckle.

“You’ve got half of that statement spot on.”

“I’m going to assume it’s the former.” you said playfully.

“You got it.” he sighed a second time.

“Wanna talk about it?” He huffed, like the mere memory of his stressors were enough to upset him even when they weren’t present.

“It’s nothing…” You knew it wasn’t nothing. “It’s just Sunghoon.”

Bingo.

“He’s so oblivious sometimes.” Jake said exasperatedly. “Although, most times I’m pretty sure he’s being dense on purpose.” You stared at him blankly and he rested his chin on his palm. “He’s so stubborn. I always tell him to just let things go, to move on, but he never listens.” You didn’t need an explanation to understand what he was talking about. “I don’t know. He’s just felt so negative recently. Especially today.”

“What’s so different about today?” you asked, elated that he was frustrated at your indifference, which wasn’t indifference at all judging by how much you cared.

“Nothing, for most of us.” the Aussie shrugged. “I suppose he’s just feeling a bit abandoned.” You raised an eyebrow, and Jake seemed to notice his misstep. “T-that doesn’t have anything to do with you.”

“Sure.” you snorted, pulling the sheet of paper you were supposed to be attentively solving into your lap, flipping through your binder for the notes.

“Are you free on Saturday night?” Your eyebrows practically flew to your hairline.

“Depends on who’s asking, and why.”

“Yeonjun’s throwing a party.” You were very well aware of Choi Yeonjun, a freshman at Hybe University. Even after finally graduating a few months ago, his parties were a must for the top tier of Decelis’ elite students; namely the popular kids. You didn’t often frequent parties, but Heeseung and Yeonjun were quite close friends. You had never missed one of his parties, and you didn’t plan to break that record.

“I wasn’t aware.” you picked up a pencil and began scrawling, eyes on your lap.

“It’s a smaller thing than usual. Just some friends, and friends of friends. Maybe a few friends of friends of friends.” You allowed a smile to pass over your lips, and Jake smiled in success. “So you’ll come?”

“I’ve never missed a Choi party.” you shut your notebook and passed the completed homework back to its owner. “I’ll give you the answers, just for today.”

“You’re the best, y/n.” Jake grinned as you stood, holding your binder to your chest, smiling in response.

“I know. Oh, and Jake?” he tilted his head as you removed a green lollipop from the pocket of your pleated skirt, sliding it across the table until it came to a stop just before his hands. “Give this to Sunghoon.”

˗ˏˋ꒰ 🍒 ꒱

Park Sunghoon was absolutely fuming.

Typically, when school was over, he’d come home, collapse on his bed, write down the lollipop of the day, and then firmly put you out of his mind. But today, for the first time, he found himself unable to do any of those things. He sat on his bed, staring at his wall silently. He was in a haze. He needed a distraction, asap.

When the doorbell rang, he ran downstairs in record time.

“Hit the brakes.” his little sister snapped as he dashed to the door, pulling it open, excited even to see the mailman. He was surprised to see his best friend on the other side, who gave him a sideways look.

“Your scowl is freaking me out.” Jake said, hands in his pockets as he strolled inside. Sunghoon closed the door behind him.

“Get used to it.” Sunghoon replied petulantly, and the two boys walked back up the stairs to Sunghoon’s room. “What brings you to my part of town?”

“I’ve got news.” Jake said, flopping down onto Sunghoon’s bed with a smug expression on his pretty face. “Oh, but before I forget.” Jake reached into the pocket of his blue jeans, removing a spherical object and tossing it in Sunghoon’s direction. The younger boy caught it, his face brightening subconsciously.

“Finally,” he rolled his eyes, unwrapping the lollipop and tucking it into the side of his mouth, sucking on it thoughtfully.

“As I was saying I-” Sunghoon ignored Jake’s ramblings, ducking under his bed and reaching for the green notebook, rifling through the mess under his bed frame. Typically, he’d be too embarrassed to do this in front of company, but he couldn’t find it within him to care. “Did you hear about Yeonjun’s party this weekend?” Sunghoon ignored him, removing the lollipop from his mouth and shoving it towards Jake.

“Do you think this smells like apple?” he asked, and Jake swatted his hand away.

“Did you hear anything I just said? And I’m not putting my face anywhere near something that’s been in your mouth.” Sunghoon rolled his eyes again, turning his attention back to his notebook as Jake stared at him. “Are you even listening?”

“I’m listening.” Sunghoon waved him off, but Jake could swear he heard him muttering fruits under his breath.

“Yeonjun’s having a party this weekend.” he repeated, and Sunghoon looked at him blankly, finally putting his pen down.

“So what?” he scoffed. “You’ve never wanted to go to one of those parties before. They don’t want people like us there.” Jake narrowed his eyes.

“People like us? They’re fine with me, you’re the one they have a problem with.” Jake said, pressing his pointer finger into Sunghoon’s chest while the latter frowned. “In fact, I happen to have an invitation, considering me and Heeseung are friends.”

“I don’t want to go to any party that Heeseung is going to.” Sunghoon refused childishly, and Jake kissed his teeth.

“I don’t get what your issue with Heeseung is. Hating y/n was bad enough, but Heeseung is especially innocent.” Jake shook his head when his best friend opened his mouth to protest, slapping his hand over his mouth before he got the chance. “I know what you’re gonna say, and I don’t wanna hear it.” Sunghoon remained silent.

The two boys sat quietly for a moment, just looking at each other, both as stubborn as the next. Jake broke the silence, sighing exhaustedly.

“Will you just do this one thing for me? Please?” Sunghoon pursed his lips. On one hand, he hated partying. He wanted nothing to do with it. But on the other hand, Jake Sim was his best friend, and he loved this boy more than he loved himself. And he had been a pretty shitty friend recently.

And so, the boy with iron resolve, and an even stronger temper, nodded his head.

“Fine, but seriously, just this once.” he said, wagging his finger when Jake’s face broke out into an enormous smile as he leapt up from the bed. “Never again, okay?”

“Pinky promise!” Jake said, running out the door and down the stairs, slamming the front door behind him as Sunghoon shook his head.

What had he gotten himself into?

˗ˏˋ꒰ 🍒 ꒱

𝐑𝐀𝐒𝐏𝐁𝐄𝐑𝐑𝐘 - chapter iii.

Park Sunghoon had a confession. It was one that he hadn’t told anybody. Not his family, not his friends, not even Jake, who he told nearly everything. No, this was a true secret. One that was bursting at the seams, that he desperately wanted to confess.

You were his first love.

Well, he assumed you were. He had no idea what love was; he was only fourteen at the time. But it felt like his heart was being ripped out of his chest when you didn’t meet his gaze, and it felt like he was on cloud nine when he spotted you staring.

Sunghoon wasn’t one to make many friends. He wasn’t a social creature. He couldn’t say that was how he liked it, because he wasn’t necessarily sure that was true. He didn’t know if he liked to be alone, or if that was just how it had always been. But that changed when he met you.

For once, he found himself wanting to be around someone. The minute he laid eyes on you, he fell head over heels. You were everything he wasn’t. He knew he was in love with you when a junior tried shoving Jake into a locker and you punched him in the face. Even Sunghoon didn’t have the courage to stand up for Jake like that.

Sunghoon admired everything about you, but he knew you could never care about him. You were president of the student council, head of the party planning committee, photographer of the yearbook club, and the school newspaper’s best journalist. You tutored, you played multiple instruments. You liked being around people. You were brave and righteous. You were everything he wished he was. Why would you like him? He was just a loser who skipped class to skate and wished he had a little more courage.

But sometimes, he saw a little glimmer of hope for the two of you. When you came to his soccer game and only cheered for him, when you lent him your favorite pencil, when you left a note on his desk saying you liked his diorama the best. Sometimes he even thought that he could be with you if he finally followed his heart. 

The only issue? Lee Heeseung.

Captain of the varsity rugby team, runner up for valedictorian, king bee of the school. He was loved by everyone. He had more friends than he could count, and the same for his admirers. When he wanted something, he got it. Sunghoon supposed you counted for that as well. It was obvious that he had a crush on you. Everyone knew you and Heeseung would date eventually, even Sunghoon.

Sunghoon had never fought for anything in his life, but for once, he was willing to fight for you. Until something happened that changed his perspective of you completely, something that made him despise you so much, he could barely contain it. Nobody knew what changed, but one day, Sunghoon dedicated his life to hating you. 

You had no idea why.

˗ˏˋ꒰ 🍒 ꒱

Jungwon thought he could find out something about your past with Sunghoon if he sleuthed hard enough, but he was finding it more difficult than imagined.

He had checked the records in the principal's office —with the cover story that he was doing an investigative report— three times over, and he had yielded nothing. He asked nearly everyone he knew for any kind of background information. He even checked with the newspaper department, hoping they had some kind of trashy gossip if nothing else. Most of what he heard was entirely useless, consisting of people trash talking Sunghoon and hyping you up entirely too much. Jungwon thought they’d reconsider their words after witnessing you on a bad day.

He sighed frustratedly, collapsing into the principal’s chair, kicking his feet up onto the desk. Absolutely nothing.

He cocked his head when the door unlatched, slowly creaking open no more than an inch or two. A sneakered foot snuck its way inside, the rest of the intruder following, letting out a yelp when he saw Jungwon sitting skeptically in the center of the room.

“What are you doing here?” Jake said, a hand on his chest as he exhaled rapidly.

“What are you doing here?” Jungwon repeated his question back at him. Jake and Jungwon were mostly ambivalent towards each other, but there was always some distaste. After all, they were the best friends of mortal enemies.

“I…” Jake stared at him blankly. “I’m checking the records.”

“What a coincidence. So am I.” The two boys sized each other up, wondering if they might be there for the same reason.

There was no way.

 “How’d you get in?” Jake said after a beat.

“Front door.” Jungwon replied, and the older boy frowned.

“Yeah, I gathered that. I mean, what did you tell administration to get in here?”

“I told them, ‘I want to check the school records.’” Jake shook his head, reaching for the desk containing the files of all the information on every student.

“Are you kidding me? Administration would rather die than let me in here.” Jake sorted through the files. He paused, frowned, then thumbed back and forth for a moment before straightening up and crossing his arms. His eyes widened when he saw the missing file he sought splayed out on the desk, just underneath Jungwon's shoes. “Why were you looking at Sunghoon’s personal file?” Jake said with an accusatory tone, and Jungwon paled, snatching it off the desk and tucking it away into his jacket.

“You’re imagining things.” he said quickly, and Jake rolled his eyes, turning back to the file cabinet. He removed your file, looking at Jungwon pointedly.

“Are you here for the same reason I am?” he asked. Neither of them wanted to admit it, but they were both certain they had the same goal.

Jungwon nodded slowly. “I think so, yeah.”

“You want to find out what happened with Sunghoon and y/n, don’t you?” Jake asked, and Jungwon averted his eyes sheepishly. There was a moment of silence before the two boys broke into laughter. “Are you thinking what I’m thinking?”

Jungwon smiled, crossing his arms. “Let’s work together.”

˗ˏˋ꒰ 🍒 ꒱

Sunghoon was having a horrible day.

Most of Sunghoon’s days were below average, simply because he didn’t often feel like having fun. But that day, he had woken up with a sinking feeling in his stomach and a furrow between his brows. That day was going to be a horrible day, and he knew it even at 6:45 am when the snooze button on his alarm stopped working.

He got to school with no bad occurrences, almost forgetting what was making him so upset. But when he saw you and Lee Heeseung, his lips on your neck, he suddenly remembered.

It gave him momentarily relief when he recalled the apple sucker from yesterday, but when he caught himself smiling, his mood only soured further.

“Morning, sunshine!” Jake chirped, attacking from behind and ruffling Sunghoon’s hair cheerily. Sunghoon glanced back to give him a glare, attempting to repair the damage Jake had done to his hairdo.

“You seem awfully jolly this morning,” he said gruffly.

“I don’t know. Something good is in the air this morning.” Jake hummed, hands in his pockets and a significant spring in his step. 

He couldn’t very well admit that he was orchestrating an entire plan to get you and Sunghoon alone together so you’d finally resolve your issues. And he definitely couldn’t mention that he was plotting in cahoots with your best friend. 

“Yeah, right.” Sunghoon scoffed.

“I’m assuming that —once again— you’ve chosen to have a bad attitude today?” Jake asked rhetorically. He already knew the answer. He knew his best friend well enough to decipher when he was upset, although it was easy enough that anyone could probably tell; Sunghoon was in an awful mood on most days.

“It’s not something I choose.” Sunghoon scoffed, still messing with his hair.

“Sure it isn’t.” Jake said sardonically, punching him in the shoulder as Sunghoon glared, rubbing the sore area. “Don’t be a- oh hey!” Sunghoon whirled around at his best friend’s sudden topic switch to see you dashing past. “Hey, did you do the chemistry homework last night?”

“Of course I did.” you scoffed. “I’m assuming you didn’t?”

“Clearly you know me well. No chance I could get the notes off of you?”

“No chance, sorry Jake.” you laughed like the tinkling of bells. “But who knows, I might pass you the answer sheet while the teacher isn’t looking.”

“You’re the best!” he grinned as you saluted playfully. Your joyous facade faded for a moment when your gaze locked with Sunghoon’s briefly. You searched his face for any sign that he had received your gift, but his stoic glare firmly remained. You held back the urge to roll your eyes, turning on your heel.

Your lack of a response only made Sunghoon more upset. He was scowling hotly, so much so, that it was certain you could fry an egg on his head.

“She’s such a pretender. Can you fucking believe that?” You heard him scoff just before you left, an accusatory hand pointing in your direction. Jake cocked his head, and Sunghoon’s scowl deepened. “She didn’t even acknowledge that I was here!”

“Why should she?” Jake laughed, tucking his hands into his pockets and walking away as Sunghoon froze on the spot, practically shaking with rage.

Oh, you were going to regret ignoring him.

It almost made Sunghoon sick to think about how much he used to like you.

He thought of all the times he had written your name in his notebook surrounded by hearts and little angel wings. All the times he wished he could bring you flowers, or tell you how he felt. All the times he watched Heeseung sweep you off your feet, and felt bitter resent in his throat. For the first time in his miserable 14 years, he was certain he was in love. It was a bit far-fetched, considering he had only spoken to you once or twice. He didn’t know if he had ever had a full conversation with you.

What was it all for? Why did the girl he loved have to hurt him so bad?

It made him think that life wasn’t very fair. That people were egocentric, they didn’t consider others feelings. He was pathetic, he knew that. He should let it go, forget about what happened between the two of you and move on. He had his own life, you had yours. His existence shouldn’t center around the hatred of another human being.

Maybe hating you was an escape. Maybe he hated you because he couldn’t handle the thought of loving you anymore.

The line between hate and love was very fine. Even he knew that.

˗ˏˋ꒰ 🍒 ꒱

You really didn’t want to go to this party. The more you thought about it, the more you felt sick to your stomach.

After the week you had, drinking with a bunch of teenagers sounded like the last thing you wanted to do. Even being around your friends and boyfriend sounded deeply unappealing; for the first time you could remember, you just wanted to be alone. But you knew this was important to your clique, and so you sucked it up, brushing the dust off the front of your party dress and turning around to your friends.

Ningning and Karina sat on the bed, on their phones. Ningning was dressed in an orange tube top dress, Karina wearing an identical one in purple. Neither of them noticed you until you cleared your throat, and they fawned over your dress.

They were your friends, supposedly. You liked them well enough, and they seemed to like you the same. They were sweet girls, but you didn’t really connect. The only reason you were friends was because you were popular, and so were they. You were living in a dog-eat-dog world, where popular girls became friends with each other to avoid making enemies. You wished it wasn’t like that, and you had a feeling they did too.

Yeonjun walked into the room with a big, cheesy grin on his face, toting your boyfriend behind him. Further back were Beomgyu, Huening Kai, Taehyun, and Soobin, the rest of your boyfriend's older friends. See also: people you didn’t really connect with.

“Are you girls ready?” Yeonjun asked, a mischievous glint in his eyes as the group crowded in. Heeseung came from the back of the procession to take your hands, and it felt like a breath of fresh air. You sighed as the others engaged in conversation.

Heeseung frowned. “You okay? You usually love Yeonjun’s parties.” You brushed some stray hair out of your face and painted on a smile.

“I’m fine, Hee. Thanks for looking out for me.” you said. He pressed a soft kiss to your cheek, adjusting your necklace so the clasp was aligned with the nape of your neck.

“Anytime you wanna leave, just say the word. I’ll take you anywhere you want to go.” You held his hand with a smile.

“Don’t worry about me, baby. Just have fun.” you ushered him towards his friends, and he gave you a brief look before he went to join them. The crowd filed out of the bedroom and into the living room, ready to party.

You sighed, looking at yourself in the mirror for a moment and taking a deep breath to relax yourself. You had no idea why you were so nervous. You had done this a million times around. You knew the party scene like the back of your hand, it was the life you had been living for the past four years.

You stared at the pink dress you were wearing. It was your favorite dress, yet somehow it didn’t feel good anymore. The lamp from the ceiling shone on your necklace, the bright, diamond letter H catching the light.

Usually, you tried not to let Sunghoon get to you. He was just a jealous, rude, idiot who wanted to bring you down for no reason. But today, his words reverberated in your head, ringing painfully, no matter how hard you tried to get them out.

She’s such a pretender.

It made you wonder, was he right? Were you putting on a show for everyone but you? You had played your role so well, you had almost fooled yourself.

Sometimes you got tired of being perfect. You got tired of keeping up your facade all the time. You almost lost yourself in the process.

Maybe Sunghoon was right. Maybe you were a pretender. Maybe hating you meant that he was the only one who really understood you.

And maybe that was a good enough reason to hate him a little less.

˗ˏˋ꒰ 🍒 ꒱

𝐂𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐑𝐘 - chapter iv.

“For the record, I am not happy about this.” Sunghoon said for what must’ve been the millionth time that night. Jake had forced him into a button up and combed his hair, in comparison to his usual overgrown bangs and old band tee. He cleaned up nice, but the boy’s foul expression was enough to drive off any prospective attention.

“Tough luck.” Jake said, adjusting his chain as he smiled charmingly at himself in the mirror. “It’s one party. You’ll be fine.” Sunghoon continued to grumble.

He wasn’t used to seeing himself done up nicely. He felt too vulnerable without his long bangs hiding his eyes and a hoodie to cover himself up. It didn’t feel right to see himself fixed up like this, but he kept telling himself that it was only once, for Jake.

Jake looked down at the watch on his wrist, a string of curses leaving his lips.

“Shit, Sunghoon, we gotta go. We’re late.” he grabbed his jacket off the coat rack, dashing out the door while Sunghoon dragged his feet behind him.

“We’re fashionably late.” the younger boy corrected, Jake turning around to give him an impatient look, nodding his head towards his car.

“We’re gonna miss all the fun, c’mon.” Sunghoon frowned.

“What a shame.” he mumbled under his breath, following his best friend into the car and praying that this night would go well, and without conflict.

That was wishful thinking.

Sunghoon instantly knew he was right when they pulled up into Yeonjun’s driveway. He could hear the music pumping from inside the house, so loud it made his ears ache. He could see the crowds of people through the enormous glass windows, and grimaced at the idea of being among the masses of sweaty bodies. Jake however, seemed delighted, and so Sunghoon tried to put a smile on his face.

Jake turned off the ignition, leaning over to his best friend and studying the blank look on his face. “Ready?” he asked, and Sunghoon nodded with an exasperated sigh, unbuckling his seatbelt and slamming the car door behind him. Jake rolled his eyes.

“This is going to be a nightmare.” Sunghoon said, unable to hold back a quip. Jake patted him on the shoulder, ringing the doorbell with a grin.

“Let’s see if you can last the whole night.”

˗ˏˋ꒰ 🍒 ꒱

It had only been an hour and your head was already pounding.

All the lights felt too bright, the music was too loud, and too many people were trying to talk to you. After having your crisis of self merely 60 minutes previous, you were definitely not in the mood to make conversation with anyone. You downed your third vodka soda of the night and felt everything get a little hazier. You were satisfied when the sound got a little quieter and the lights became less harsh.

Toting your fourth drink in hand, you dropped down to the couch. Most people were busy dancing, thank God, and the only people on the couch was a girl vomiting in Yeonjun’s best porcelain vase and her friend coaxing it out of her. You didn’t mind it too much. At this point, you were craving some humanity.

You felt a little at ease when Jay sat beside you, smiling in greeting. Jay was pretty much the only one of Heeseung’s friends whom you actually liked.

“How’s the night going?” you asked, sipping on the red cup in your hand.

“It’s alright.” he said, his words slurred as he rubbed his nose. It was clear that he had more than a few drinks, probably a couple past his capacity. “Your friend- what’s her name? Tried talking to me earlier.” You didn’t bother to inquire. “Ning? Ningning?” he laughed to himself. He was obviously drunk, so you took another sip and ignored his ramblings. Even the most sensible of people were insufferable to you at the moment. 

He sniffled briefly, and you studied his face. You could practically see the gears in his head turning as he poked his tongue into the flesh of his left cheek thoughtfully.

“Hey,” he suddenly said, looking at you very seriously. “I’m really sorry about that Sunghoon thing, y’know. I’ve been thinking about it for a while now, and it’s really been bothering me.” You furrowed your brows.

“What Sunghoon thing?” you said, and his jaw dropped open, laughing drunkenly as he covered his mouth. Clearly he had said something he wasn’t supposed to.

“Oops, did Heeseung never tell you?” he said, trying to backtrack. “Oh, we just fucked with Sunghoon a little in sophomore year. You know, back before you and Heeseung started dating.” An awful feeling crept into your insides as you stared at him relentlessly until he finally continued. “We, uh, we just wrote him a letter or something like that.”

“What did it say?” you demanded.

“Oh, you know.” he said for the thousandth time, and you were beginning to lose your patience. He took a swig of your drink to loosen his tongue. Jay knew he shouldn’t be the one to tell you about this, but his conscience was pressing him to continue, and so he did. “We just said some mean stuff, called him a freak. Told him to stay away from you. It was Heeseung’s idea, really.”

You felt a pit in your stomach. You felt so sick, you didn’t even have the capacity to register the anger bubbling up in your throat. Why would your boyfriend do this? What had Sunghoon ever done to him?

You didn’t even notice that you were defending Sunghoon over Heeseung.

“Why would you do that?” you asked blankly, and Jay stood up quickly, stumbling drunkenly as he almost lost his balance. He sensed that he said something he shouldn’t, and if he kept drunkenly blabbering, Heeseung would definitely kick his ass for it sooner or later.

“Uh, you should ask Heeseung about t-this.” he stuttered, evading before you got angry. He had never seen you upset before. Nobody had, with the exception of one.

You stood from the couch, downing the remainder of your drink, feeling the alcohol leave a burning trail down your throat before you tossed the cup to the side.

You had to find your boyfriend.

˗ˏˋ꒰ 🍒 ꒱

Dear Sunghoon,

I know you have a crush on me. I’m sorry to say this, but I really don’t reciprocate your feelings. To be honest, I find it disgusting that you think you even have a chance with me.

Maybe you haven’t realized, but we come from completely different worlds. People actually like me. You might not know what that feels like, but it’s actually pretty nice to be liked. I get good grades, I make friends, I do the work. Something you wouldn’t know much about. You’re nothing compared to me. You have no idea what it’s like to be admired, or to have friends. Maybe that’s because you’re always alone, daydreaming like a fucking loser.

I could never love someone like you. You’re a freak.

Sincerely, y/n.

P.S. I’m in love with Lee Heeseung.

˗ˏˋ꒰ 🍒 ꒱

Jake, that bastard, had absolutely disappeared. He had left Sunghoon stranded in a house full of strangers. And not just any house; the house of the man he disliked nearly the most. Well, after you, then Heeseung, then Jungwon… you get the point.

Sunghoon wasn’t a big drinker, but he downed any alcohol he could get his hands on. His fourth shot of vodka left a fierce burning in his throat, and he tried his best to ignore it. Alcohol was just about the only thing that could make him feel a little less alienated in a place full of people that despised him. With every sideways glance, even an admiring or curious one, he felt more and more like running away. But he promised to stick around for the night, and he was a man of his word. Most of the time, at least.

He felt his eyes almost roll into the back of his head when Lee Heeseung approached him, toting one of his goons behind him.

“Can I help you?” Sunghoon said from behind the rim of his cup, brows raised skeptically. Heeseung had a foul look on his face, one that Sunghoon hadn’t really seen before. He seemed to be a jolly guy most of the time.

“What are you doing here?” he said, voice low.

“Sorry, I wasn’t informed that you were Yeonjun’s security guard. I’ll be on my way out, if need be.” Sunghoon said sardonically, and Heeseung’s scowl only deepened.

“I’m warning you, watch what you say to me.” Heeseung said, pointing so closely, his index finger nearly brushed his chest. “I think we both know you don’t belong here.”

“Wow, it seems like you’ve got an attitude problem. Not as innocent as everyone thinks, huh?” Sunghoon didn’t shy away from the contact, attempting to close the inch difference between their heights. It was a lot harder than it seemed. “Just like you little girlfriend.” he provoked, and Heeseung grabbed the front of his shirt, jaw pulsing.

“You watch what you saw about her.” Heeseung said through grit teeth. “You’re just jealous, and we all know it. She could never love someone like you. You’re a freak.”

I could never love someone like you. You’re a freak.

Sunghoon furrowed his brow. He tried his hardest to keep his lower lip from trembling. He couldn’t show that he was hurt, no matter what.

“I’m not afraid of you.” he said.

Heeseung scoffed. “You’re pretending.”

“I’m not the only one.” The two boys stood in silence for a beat.

Heeseung dropped Sunghoon’s shirt, adjusting his jacket with a glare. “Fuck you, Sunghoon. We come from different worlds, you have no idea what it’s like to be me.”

We come from completely different worlds. 

You have no idea what it’s like to be admired.

With that, Heeseung was gone, his lackeys disappearing as well. And it was all coming back to Sunghoon, biting his lip furiously to distract from the burning in his eyes. He downed the rest of what was in his cup, wandering back to the kitchen.

Maybe he wasn’t welcome here, but he was going to drink them dry before he left.

˗ˏˋ꒰ 🍒 ꒱

“I have a surprise for you!” Jungwon waved his arms excitedly. You stared at him, completely unamused. Your best friend definitely had the worst timing ever.

“I’m a little busy.” you said, trying to push past him to no avail. You didn’t feel like explaining your situation, not until after you talked to your boyfriend. 

“It’s really important,” Jungwon insisted, pressing his hands to the small of your back and steering you towards the staircase. You tried to squirm out of his grip but gave up about halfway through. You would humor Jungwon and see his stupid surprise, then you’d find Heeseung and have a serious conversation.

“Okay, right this way,” Jungwon mumbled, pushing you into a spare guest bedroom. “Wait here for just a moment, I need to get something ready.”

“How long is this going to take?” you said exasperatedly, flopping down onto the bed and crossing your arms.

“Just a minute!” he yelled before slamming the door, dashing away.

As he walked into the corridor, he high fived a certain blond haired boy, Jake rushing by to find his respective best friend.

“Some guy upstairs said he was looking for you.” Jake said, jabbing his thumb at the staircase. Sunghoon’s brows knitted, looking up skeptically before taking another swig of the drink in his hand.

“Me? Was it Heeseung?” Jake shrugged ambiguously.

“Don’t know. He was walking real fast, muttering your name. I think he went into one of the rooms upstairs.” Sunghoon put down his cup, rolling his eyes and heading quickly to the staircase. Jake grinned successfully, trailing behind the boy as he muttered strings of profanities and insults.

“What the fuck does he want…” Sunghoon grumbled, opening the first door he saw when he went upstairs, shutting it in exasperation when a couple screamed, their intimacy interrupted. Jake grimaced; Sunghoon seemed unaffected. He continued this with three more doors, until he finally reached one with a white frame and a silver handle, one with squeaky hinges, one that locked from the outside.

“Where is he-” Jake shoved the boy with all his might, slamming the door behind him as his best friend yelped, pounding on the door. Jungwon came running from around the corner, diving for the doorknob with a key in hand, turning it firmly in the lock. No matter how much Sunghoon protested, it was futile.

“Nice one.” Jake said, high fiving the younger boy as the two proudly celebrated their success. They stared at the door until Sunghoon’s protests went quiet, and the culprits were left with an awkward silence as they registered their actions.

“...We did a good thing, right?” Jungwon asked unsurely. “...Yeah. Definitely.”

“Oh, fucking excellent. God, this night couldn’t get any worse.” Sunghoon said immediately upon noticing your presence. He huffed, pacing around the room while you stared at him, eyes watery, biting down on your lip hard. Sunghoon was filled with so much rage, he was unable to speak, and the two of you sat in silence for a brief second before you got to your feet, walking straight up to him and slapping him in the face.

“I am so fucking mad at you!” you yelled, shocking both of you.

“Me? What could I have possibly done to make you mad at me?” Sunghoon shouted incredulously, pressing his hand to his hot cheek, red blooming under his skin.

“This whole rivalry!” you said, gesturing vaguely. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Tell you what?” he asked irritatedly.

“About the letter!” Sunghoon paled. He had imagined this moment a hundred times over, and none of those hypotheticals went like this. He simply couldn’t have this conversation with you, it was too painful. It was in the past.

“Why should I? You’re the one that wrote it.” he said frustratedly.

“Jeez, you’re so fucking stupid. I never would have done that to you. I wouldn’t say any of that mean shit to you. I didn’t write that letter!”

He scoffed, “Oh yeah, then who did?”

“Heeseung did, Sunghoon.” He paused for a moment, not sure what to say.

You’re just jealous, and we all know it. 

She could never love someone like you, you’re a freak. 

We come from completely different worlds.

You have no idea what it’s like to be me.

Heeseungs hurtful words rang around his head, cutting into his skin like hot knives. It was impossible. You wrote the letter. Heeseung wouldn’t have done that.

“Why would he do that?” you stared at him, unbelieving at how oblivious he was.

“Because I was in love with you, obviously!”

It felt like Sunghoon’s heart was on fire. The two of you stared at each other in silence for what felt like centuries, Sunghoon’s head spinning. Suddenly, everything was much too real for him to take in. His rising body temperature, the sweet lilt of your voice, the way you looked at him through your lashes.

“What?” he questioned blankly, hardly even registering what you were saying. He felt dizzy. “You were in love with me?”

“Well, it was freshman year. I was 14. Can you just shut the fuck up? I’m still mad at you.” you said, your cheeks went aflame with the realization of what you had just said.

He grinned. “You’re so dumb.”

“You’re so fucking annoying-” Suddenly, his lips crashed into yours.

He tangled his hands in your hair, knotting his left hand in your hair. You kissed him in return as he held your waist in his right hand, his teeth biting your lower lip. You both fought for dominance, staggering through the room until your back hit the wall, and you wrapped a leg around his waist as he cursed under his breath. It was a kiss of hatred, but at the same time, relief. His lips felt as though they were made to fit yours, fitting like a puzzle piece. You parted for a breath, but he pulled you back in hungrily.

“Jesus fucking Christ!” The two of you pulled away immediately as Jake cursed loudly, Jungwon behind him with a look on his face like you had just shot him. “What is wrong with you two? We wanted you to make up, not make out!”

“Get the fuck out!” Sunghoon shouted, running after his best friend and shoving him away, slamming the door behind them with a heavy exhalation. When he turned back to you, you were trying to hold back a giggle and failing miserably.

The two of you began to laugh, and Sunghoon dropped to the floor with a sigh, you doing the same and sidling up to him.

“I can’t believe we just did that.” you said, feeling intensely embarrassed.

“ Yeah, I bet you’ll give me herpes.” Sunghoon mocked, and you turned to him with a glare, and he held his hands up. “Old habits die hard. But I really am sorry I was mean to you. I didn’t know Heeseung wrote the letter.” You scowled at the reminder.

“Heeseung…” you said, rubbing your eyes. “Jesus. What am I gonna do about him?” Sunghoon didn’t reply, staring at the ceiling thoughtfully.

“Did you ever think I was a freak?” he asked suddenly. You frowned.

“Why would I think that?”

“I don’t know. I was always alone, always daydreaming. I wasn’t popular or anything. Didn’t you ever consider that you shouldn’t like someone like me?”

“Someone like you?” you snorted. “C’mon, don’t be full of yourself. You’re just a person. I could care less if you like to be alone, or if you daydream. So does everyone else, they’re just not brave enough to say it aloud.” Sunghoon smiled in relief, and he wanted nothing more than to press another hungry kiss to your lips. But he knew he needed to hold back. I mean, you had just gotten over your rivalry a couple minutes ago. He should probably give it some time before he starts kissing his ex-nemesis.

“You should probably go,” he said, avoiding eye contact. “I bet people are looking for you. And I think you might need to talk to your boyfriend.”

“Ex boyfriend, when I’m done with him.” you said, rolling your eyes and getting to your feet, bruising the dust off of your dress. You held out a hand to assist Sunghoon in getting up, and he took it with a smile. You walked, turning back when he didn’t follow you. “C’mon. Let’s show Heeseung that we’re not enemies anymore.”

He couldn’t hold back his grin.

˗ˏˋ꒰ 🍒 ꒱

You felt like the room quaked when you walked downstairs with Sunghoon.

The music didn’t stop, but it almost seemed like everything went silent, hundreds of pairs of eyes landing on the two of you immediately, narrowed, criticizing. Sunghoon was sweating at the judgment, but you strode confidently, not paying any attention to their stares. And like magic, everyone began to turn around and mind their own business. You sent Sunghoon a wink.

“Do anything with confidence, and people won’t give a shit.” you said. Sunghoon grinned. He knew he had a lot to learn from you. The two of you slid through the bodies, navigating your way through until you spotted him from across the room.

Lee Heeseung. The man you called the love of your life just a few hours ago. You wonder if you still loved him after what happened.

“I think I’m gonna head out.” Sunghoon said, tilting his head towards the door.

“See you later, Sunghoon. Don’t be a stranger.” you said, before turning on your heel and marching away. He shook his head at your retreating figure, smiling with a warm blush on his cheeks before he made his exit.

“Heeseung!” you yelled across the room, attempting to pass by the hordes of drunks to get to your boyfriend. Him and his friends were playing a rowdy game of beer pong, and he watched you inquisitively with a ball in hand. “We need to talk.”

“About what, baby?” he asked, tossing the ball and scoring with ease, Yeonjun and Beomgyu cheering behind him and chanting his name.

“Heeseung.” you said his name coldly, and he grew serious within an instant.

“Yeonjun, take my place.” he said, slapping his friend on the back as the boy raised his brow, the group watching you with curiosity as you walked away.

You led Heeseung to the backyard, crossing your arms the minute you turned around to face him. He could tell you were serious as ever.

“What is it baby?” he said with concern, reaching for your arm, but you pulled away from him quickly. He only grew more worried.

“Heeseung, do you have anything to tell me?” you asked vaguely, and every bad thing he had done in his entire life ran through his head in an instant.

“No?” he said pathetically. “Y/n, will you just tell me what you want?”

“Why did you write Sunghoon that letter?” Heeseung paled. He didn’t think you would find out. Not this soon. “You said such hurtful things to him, why? And addressed from me?” You said, voice wobbling.

“Baby, let me explain-”

“You’re the reason Sunghoon hated me so much. I put up with his belittling for years because I thought I deserved it somehow. Just to find out it was you all along? What kind of fucked up person would do that?”

“How else was I supposed to get him away from you?”

“That’s not your decision to make, Heeseung.” you said coldly.

“Look, baby, that was all in the past. I’m really sorry, can’t we just look past it?”

“No, Heeseung, because you hurt an innocent person really badly. And that is always unforgivable.” you sighed, pinching the space between your brows.

“He doesn’t matter, y/n. I’m your boyfriend, not him!”

“Well, not anymore.” Both of you froze. Through the glass walls, the entirety of the party stared at the two of you, Decelis’ golden couple. Now destroyed.

“You’re breaking up with me,” Heeseung said slowly, in disbelief. “Over Park Sunghoon?” You stared at him for a moment, before steeling yourself.

“Yes. Yes I am.” And then you walked off, pushing past the shocked crowds with tears in your eyes, gunning it for the door and disappearing into the night.

Something was telling you to run after him.

˗ˏˋ꒰ 🍒 ꒱

epilogue.

“She’s still at it?” Jake asked in disbelief. Just a moment previous, you had strode straight up to Sunghoon from your spot at the blackboard with the utmost confidence and placed a lollipop onto his lap. You didn’t even look into his eyes, just turning on your heel and returning to your duties.

He was beginning to get envious looks from his fellow classmates, and he wasn’t sure how to feel about it.

“S’pose so.” Sunghoon said, unwrapping the cellophane and popping the treat into his mouth with a satisfying suction sound. “Mm. At least she’s giving me good flavors these days.”

“It’s been three years. You’d think she’d stop by now.” Jake shook his head, tossing his notebooks and laptop into his backpack as the bell rang, dismissing class.

“She’ll never stop. She loves me.” Sunghoon grinned proudly, the stick of his lollipop protruding from the corner of his upturned mouth.

“Why doesn’t she ever bring me lollipops?” Sunghoon frowned, slapping Jake in the back with his notebook before shoving it into his duffel. “Ow! What?”

“She’s my girlfriend. She’s not allowed to give lollipops to anyone but me.” Sunghoon said, like it was obvious, walking to the front of the class with Jake in tow just behind him. “Besides, you don’t even like lollipops anyway.”

“It’s the thought that counts.”

Even after a year of dating, you and Sunghoon were still up to your classic shenanigans. It was a wonder that the two of you were still together, considering how often you bickered. You were lucky that you loved each other more than enough to make up for the arguments.

“Hey, baby.” he said, striding up to your place at the front of the class and pressing a sloppy kiss onto your cheek. You wiped your cheek off with a playful scowl, before plucking the lollipop from Sunghoon’s mouth and putting it between your lips.

“Hey, Hoonie. Hey, Jake.” You reached for your boyfriend’s hand as the three of you walked out of class together. “How was practice, you two?”

“Mm, I’m tired.” Sunghoon said, pecking you as Jake rolled his eyes at your overt pda. “Jake’s been keeping me busy with training.”

“If you weren’t so shit, I wouldn’t have to train you all the time.” Jake ruffled the younger boy’s hair as he looked up at him with a scowl. After your debacle with Heeseung, Jake quit the rugby team, deciding he favored soccer. It turned out to be a good decision, as he was quite good at it, and you decided it must have been pure fate that gave him a scholarship to the same college you and Sunghoon were attending.

“Hey, I joined soccer way before you did. Have some respect for your seniors.” Sunghoon said, evading Jake’s hands as he reached to slap the younger boy, the two tussling as you watched with a smile, sucking on your lollipop. “Jesus, don’t you ever get tired of those two?” a weary voice said, sidling up to you as he rubbed the sleep out of his eyes. You turned to face Jungwon, his bangs matted to his forehead and his button up shirt nearly halfway undone.

“You’ve been sleeping during class?” you asked, humor in your tone as your best friend turned to you with a raised brow.

“How could you tell?” You didn’t answer. Sunghoon ran to you, a big grin on his face as he dragged Jake behind him in a headlock.

“Hey, Jungwon.” he said, reaching for a handshake that Jungwon didn’t reciprocate. He then reached for the stick dangling from your lips, removing it, kissing you softly, and then putting the sucker back in his own mouth.

“You guys are disgusting.” Jake said, voice muffled from under Sunghoon’s bicep.

“Cherry, again?” Jungwon said, watching the bright red sphere as it protruded slightly from Sunghoon’s mouth. “I should’ve known you were up to something when you ordered them in bulk.”

“What can I say? A tradition’s a tradition.” you grinned, taking Sunghoon’s hand as the four of you walked in a line. “A lollipop a day keeps Park Sunghoon away.” He looked at you with a snort, unable to hold back a smile.

“Did you just come up with that?” he asked, amused.

“I did.” you hummed, and he pressed a kiss to your nose, Jungwon and Jake groaning loudly in unison.

“We get it, you’re in love.”

“Enough already, it’s gross.” they whined, and the two of you laughed together, swinging your hands back and forth like a little swing between your sides.

Who knew you and your enemy would fall in love? You certainly couldn’t have predicted it. Turns out that college life had a lot of unexpected surprises in store. But while everything kept changing, there was one thing that always stayed the same.

Sunghoon’s heart always skipped a beat when you gave him a lollipop.

˗ˏˋ꒰ 🍒 ꒱

[pucksandpower]

Max Verstappen x Leclerc!Reader - Social Media AU

formulagossip added to their story

f1wagupdates

Liked by lightsoutmax, verstappenupdates, and 152,836 others

f1wagupdates Max Verstappen spotted leaving his hotel with a mystery woman this morning after celebrating winning his third World Championship last night. According to sources, the two partied together with the team and friends at a club following his victory before heading back to the hotel. Her face is hidden but rumor has it this could be a new romance for the World Champ. Looks like Max is enjoying the spoils of another successful season!

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lightsoutmax probably just a random groupie, max isn’t the relationship type

dutchlioness no way that’s a groupie

f1wagupdates i’m inclined to agree, they look pretty serious!

formulanone am i crazy or does that look like y/n leclerc to anyone else?

redbulletin you’re crazy

gridgossip i mean i wouldn’t be surprised. i bet this has been going on for a while between them! it would explain how she got the CTO job out of nowhere

f1girlie or she got it because she’s qualified and was literally trained by adrian newey to take over for him? it’s 2024, leave the misogyny at the door

maddermax i don’t think max would get involved with someone from his team

circuitqueen she looks so familiar but i can’t place her! it’s driving me crazy

verstappenupdates whoever she is, i need more details! our world champion’s love life is suddenly looking very interesting 😍

survivetodrive you need to learn how to stay out of drivers’ business

rblover for real! let the man live

maxverstappen1

Liked by y/n_leclerc, redbullracing, and 2,094,617 others

maxverstappen1 Five World Championships!

This one feels extra special because I get to celebrate with the love of my life who has been by my side for over three incredible years now ❤️

So I want to dedicate this championship to Y/N

Seeing Y/N thrive as Red Bull’s Chief Technical Officer and pursue her passion for motorsport after everything she has been through has been so special. Her brilliance and determination inspire me daily, both on and off the track. And her contributions to the team have been invaluable to our success. I am so lucky to have such an incredible partner to share these championships with

Winning races and championships is great but sharing my life with someone as smart, driven and caring as Y/N is the greatest gift I could ever ask for. I truly am the luckiest guy in the world. I can’t wait to see what the future holds for us both. Here’s to many more years of continuing to chase our dreams together!

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redbullracing our world champion found his perfect match! wishing you both continued success and happiness 🤩

christianhorner so proud of you two. the ultimate power couple!

danielricciardo i knew something was going on there. congrats you two!

maxverstappen1 you don’t have to pretend like you didn’t know about us

y/n_leclerc you literally third-wheeled our last date night … and the one last month … and the one over summer break

y/n_leclerc i love you with all my heart, champion! thank you for always being my biggest supporter. so blessed to have you in my life 🥰

charles_leclerc how could you do this, y/n? after everything our family did for you?

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verstappenupdates our guy is all grown up 🥹 you two are goals!

f1wagupdates omg! when did this happen??? why has it been a secret for so long?

lightsoutmax pretty sure they got together the year before y/n was hired by red bull

redbulletin and they probably kept it a secret because people would have found a way to twist it into something negative

officialorangearmy relationship goals to the max! you two are perfect together 🧡

y/n_leclerc

Liked by maxverstappen1, redbullracing, and 473,825 others

y/n_leclerc What a season! Winning a double championship for the second time feels so surreal. I am overwhelmed with gratitude for my incredible team at Red Bull Racing who made this possible through their tireless hard work. We did it 🏆

And most of all, I am grateful for my incredible partner. Max, you’ve supported me every step of the way, encouraging me to follow my dreams and become who I was meant to be. You showed me what true unconditional love feels like

I am where I am now because of you. Your spirit pushes me to achieve greatness. Your kindness lifted me up when I needed it most. Your smile keeps me going on tough days. I couldn’t ask for a better teammate in life ❤️

The future is so bright for us. I can’t wait to see what we create together next. I love you! Let’s keep aiming for the stars ✨

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maxverstappen1 you make me so proud every day! loving and winning with you feels incredible. can’t wait for the rest of our lives together ❤️

redbullracing the ultimate teammate on and off the track! you two are unstoppable 👊

christianhorner red bull is lucky to have such a power pair leading our team. more glory to come!

danielricciardo you guys are relationship goals! congrats champs

charles_leclerc how long until you throw away this “fairytale” like you did our family?

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*this user has been blocked*

y/n_leclercfanpage our inspiring queen found her king! you give us hope that dreams do come true

f1girlie not me literally crying tears of joy 😭 they are so perfect together

womeninmotorsport seeing powerful women thrive in f1 gives me life 👏

[juneknight]

obsessed || 2

Part One

About this: college au. dorm room!marc/fem!reader. Oral sex (f receiving) No I don't edit or proofread my works, thanks for asking!

Immersivity: reader is given no overt physical description and no name. Details about her figure/body could be assumed based on the fact that she wears a pair of Marc's stollen pajama pants. It is referenced that she comes from a sex-negative household. Any further details which hinder your immersive experience are welcome to be pointed out to me.

-

That’s how he gets you sitting ramrod straight on the center cushion of the couch, knees pressed so tightly together that not even the holy ghost could come between them, both hands covering your face. Marc sits cross legged at your feet, laughing at you. With your eyes covered, he can let his face relax from its cold, neutral expression into one of mesmerized fondness. You have that effect on him. You melt him into something liquid and soft. 

God, he’s a fucking idiot. It’s hard enough living with you now; how is he meant to go on the way things have been once he’s had a taste of you? How is he supposed to listen to you gargle in the bathroom knowing he’s had his mouth on you? His excuse—being pent up and craving pussy—is thin enough for him to see through. Marc’s been jerking off plenty enough at night (and in the shower, and anytime you’re in class and he has the dorm room to himself), and he’s had a handful of opportunities that could have opened the door for sex though he hadn’t followed through with them.

Because he wants you. 

“Come on,” he says, tapping your shin. His eyes linger on the way his pajama pants fit you. You don’t even fucking know what it does to him to see you prancing around in his clothes. With your eyes covered, he feels safe enough to reach down and palm his cock which is aching beneath the denim of his jeans. The little bit of friction helps and hurts all at once. “Spread ‘em.” 

“I’m shy,” you bark at him. 

The naivete would be a turn off if he didn’t know you better. In the majority of situations, you’re far from inexperienced, and he has never known you to be shy in the classroom or at parties. But after many nights similar to this (spent talking about anything and everything), he knows that you grew up in a household where sex was viewed very particularly. Those long-ingrained doctrines have been difficult to unlearn, no matter how much you want to. 

“Hey,” he says. “Just be honest with me. Don’t say yes just because you think I want to. If you don’t want to, then I don’t want to.” 

You lower your hands. “It’s not that I don’t want…to. I’m just scared.” 

Scared. Marc tends to have that effect on people; he’s been told that he’s too deadpan, too intense, too cold. You aren’t the only one holding on to a less than stellar childhood. Even though you had skirted a safe perimeter around him for the first few days you’d shared classes together, you’d been quick to see something in him that others hadn’t. Something that Marc didn’t even see in himself. Always though the fear comes creeping in, the fear that you’re afraid of him. 

He has to know—whether it hurts or not, he has to know. “What are you scared of, baby? Me? Me…accidentally hurting you like that last guy did?”

“No,” you rush to assure him. His shoulders lower but jaw remains tight. He isn’t sure if he believes you. “I know that you wouldn’t hurt me. And you’re probably a lot more careful than that other guy was. I guess I just…don’t know what you’re getting out of it. What if you think I’m disgusting?” 

“I literally spent fifteen minutes earlier waxing poetry about eating pussy. If you think I’m not going to thoroughly enjoy myself, then you’re wrong, and for what it’s worth—you could never disgust me.” Honest, too honest, Marc, some voice warns from the back of his mind. He lifts one hand to let it rest below your knee, gently clasping your shin. “If you want it, I want it. Let me make this good for you.” 

You let out a shaky sigh. His heart pounds when, marginally, your knees begin to open. Marc lets his thumb drift down from the top of your knee down and inward, breaching the newly open space and rubbing your leg softly through the flannel pajama pants. “Okay. What should I do?”

“You should probably take your pants off.” Then, he thinks about it. “No, wait, just stand up. Let me take them off of you.” 

Then you’re standing, calves pressed against the couch cushions when Marc doesn’t move back to give you any room. He’s eye level with the crotch of your pajamas. Glancing up at you, he’s surprised to see your eyes already on him, wide and unblinking, staring down at him with something akin to amazement. The moment is almost enough to make his head spin. Here he is, on his knees for you, about to undress you and put his mouth on you. 

His hands come up and rest at your waist, thumbing at your hips until he sinks his fingertips over and beneath the waistband of the pajama pants. He lets his fingers brush against the top elastic band of your panties and you shiver above him. 

And god help him. God help him because—

“Remember when I said that when a woman is really wet, you can smell her?” he rasps, pulling his thumb free to trace a vertical line from the waistband down towards the top of your mound, stopping just centimeters above where your clit must be. Feeling like he’s about to be torn apart, Marc leans in and nuzzles against the crotch of your pants. He inhales sharply the smell of you. The smell of you wet for him. “Fuck, I love it. Fuck, fuck. Can I take these off?” 

You nod, but that isn’t the enthusiasm he wants. 

“Can you say it?” 

You clear your throat. “Yes. You can take them off.” 

With all the care of handling crystal, he peels them from your hips and slips them down your thighs, eyes tracing the newly exposed skin before zeroing in on your panties. They are a pale lilac, cute and sensible compared to some of the other pairs he’s seen in the laundry hamper on the rare occasion that he lifts the lid to put his own clothes inside. He clenches his jaw trying to hold himself back from leaning in and pulling your panties down with his fucking teeth. Gentler than he feels, he guides your hips back until you sit heavily on the couch. With care, he slips the pants off of your feet and brushes them aside, kneeling up onto his knees and then resting back on his heels. 

“Open up,” he murmurs, staring at your cloth-covered cunt. “Spread your legs for me.” 

You do. As soon as your knees spread just a few handbreadths apart, Marc groans, a punched-out sound. The crotch of your panties are soaked a darker purple, clinging to your cunt so that his eyes can just barely trace your folds. 

“Holy fuck, look at you,” he says. “You’re so fucking wet, aren’t you? Look at this.” 

Both of your hands fly up to cover your eyes. He makes an unhappy sound in the back of his throat. You crack open your fingers an inch so you can look down at his raised brow. “Don’t hide from me. I want to see your face. It will help me know if I’m doing something wrong. Or something right.”

Fighting what must be your instinctual urge to hide, you lower your hands to your sides and clench them into tight fists. You’re being so brave for him, for yourself. Marc drags his palms up and down the sides of your calves, relishing the cool softness of your skin and trying to ease your tense muscles. 

“Tell me what he did wrong,” Marc says, breath fanning across your bare thighs. “How did it hurt? I don’t want to do anything that might hurt you.” 

“‘m sensitive,” you grumble. 

Marc breathes a laugh. “Yeah, it’s your pussy, I bet it’s sensitive. How sensitive, though? Was it too much when he was using his tongue? Or was he using his teeth?”

“The tongue was fine,” you say, speaking about it the way you might a mediocre appetizer you’ve been served at a restaurant. Marc holds his jealousy in a tightly closed fist. Now isn’t the time to be jealous of some young boy who couldn’t even make you feel good. Now is Marc’s turn.  “But he—oh my god, I hate you, I can’t say this shit out loud Marc.” 

“Tell me,” he murmurs, unable to help leaning in to press the softest kiss against your knee. Your chest hitches at the contact, a movement his eyes track but his mind doesn’t understand.

“He was…”

“Was…” 

“Sucking on me. On my clit. Maybe it wouldn’t have been so bad if I wasn’t so anxious. If I was turned on like, at all.” 

“Consider it noted,” Marc says, refusing to pat his own back by pointing out how turned on you seem right now. Then with gentle pressure (to give you plenty a chance to refuse him) he coaxes you to spread your thighs wide and then wider. 

“Shouldn’t I take off my underwear?” you ask.

“Not if you might be too sensitive,” says Marc. “Come here. Slouch down.” 

You shift around, but not nearly low enough for his liking. So he slips his hands beneath you, cupping your ass and pulling until your cunt is at the edge of the couch, inches from his waiting mouth. The squeal you give has him pursing his lips to keep from laughing. His strength always seems to surprise you.

Gazing up at you, he waits for you to nod before he turns his head and lays a soft kiss on the tender skin inside your thigh. Above him, you exhale shakily. The feeling of your skin beneath his lips has his head buzzing. He begins dragging his mouth upwards, his kisses growing ever-more open mouthed until he is blatantly tasting your skin. His eyes flicker shut as he inhales noisily, the scent of your arousal making his cock twitch. He switches thighs. 

A sound slips through the back of your throat, something high and breathy. A whine. Marc’s eyes flash open at the sound, flickering all across your face for any hint of pain. But he doesn’t find it. If anything, you look fucked out: mouth parted, eyes heavy lidded. He hasn’t even fucking touched you.

I can do this, he thinks. I can make you feel good.

He softly sucks blood to the surface of your skin until you can’t seem to sit still, thighs tensing beneath his mouth. When he opens his eyes, your panties are even wetter. Enough teasing the both of you, he thinks. He shifts and drags the tip of his curved nose up the seam of your clothed cunt, nudging so softly against the apex.

“Oh my god,” you mutter above him, sounding about as wrecked as some of his past partners did when he was already finished with them.

He’s losing it. He can feel it, the threads of his control fraying beneath the sharp edges of his desire for you. Never does he think that he wouldn’t be able to stop if you asked him to or if you gave any indication that you weren’t enthusiastically enjoying his work, but he wants to make sure that you know you’re in control. You’re in control of him, no matter how consumed he appears. 

“If you want me to stop, you say the fucking word okay?” he rasps. His lips brush against your underwear and come away faintly sticky with slick. He doesn’t even let himself lick it from his lips, not yet. “And if I’m not stopping fast enough for your liking, gouge my goddamn eyes out, you hear me?” 

He waits until you give a frantic bob of your head. Then he licks the flat of his tongue up the soaked crotch of your panties. It’s hard to tell who groans loudest. You taste good. His jaw aches the way it does when he sucks on something sweet, mouth salivating. He laps at you again and again, careful not to be too forceful. Your thighs clench tight around his head and he has to pull them away and pin them open wide to the couch so that he can move the way he wants to. 

“Is—am I—” Marc begrudgingly opens his eyes to see you struggling to speak. He struggles to keep his gaze on you. The taste of you in his mouth, the feel of your warm skin beneath his hands, the serenity of this moment all has his eyes wanting to roll back. It takes a herculean effort to pull his mouth from you, to lay his head on your thigh taking deep breaths through his nose while waiting for you to collect your thoughts. You finally manage to ask: “Am I—gross?”

Marc blinks. “Are you gross? Baby who the hell hurt you?”

It’s your turn to blink down at him. “What?”

“Who in the fuck has put you so deep inside your head that you can’t see I’m sixty seconds away from cumming in my pants because you taste so fucking good? Because you smell so fucking good? Because you sound so fucking good? You know what. Don’t answer that—” Marc reaches backwards towards the coffee table, finding the flier he’d written on earlier: HOMETOWN DICK is scrawled there. He slaps it on the couch cushion beside you along with the capless pen. “—write it down if you can and I’ll get to them later.”

He lets saliva pool on his tongue before his next lick of you. Between his spit and your own slick, your thighs are wet and sticky, panties soaked. He can’t help but reach up to tug upwards at the waistband just a bit, just so the fabric rides up flush against your pussy so he can see every last curve and fold of you. The stimulation of the fabric must feel good because you whine—honest to god whine, your pelvis giving the most adorable little arches as you try to decide whether to press into the stimulation or press away from it so that his hand draws the fabric against you tighter. 

Marc has to let go to keep your thighs spread as they try to creep in closer to his ears. His eyes are shut as he laps at you with long, firm strokes, alternating directions, doing his best to be gentle in case you’re as sensitive as you think. Periodically he glances up to make sure you’re okay, and that is when he notices the way your hands are clenched into fists, shaking with the force you’re using to keep them still. He reaches out. Your fingers are cool beneath his, and at the first touch, your hand opens up, blossoming like a flower so he can lace your fingers together. He smiles against your pussy—he hadn’t intended to hold hands, but he sure as hell wasn’t going to turn it down. 

“Put your hands in my hair,” he says. He gently shakes his head from side to side letting the flat of his tongue rub against your clit. Your gasp makes your chest heave, fingers clamping down around his. Fuck, yes. You just need something you can pull on. “C’me on, baby, you can get rough with me.” 

Your eyes are wet, wide as you shakily move your hands to his hair. The feel of your fingers in his curls is divine. His lashes flutter. “Yeah?” you breathe. “I don’t want to hurt you.” 

“Hurt me, baby, I love it, okay?” 

You tug a little. His cock jerks where it’s still confined in denim. “But what if you need to breathe?” 

“Don’t care,” he says. “Drown me in your pussy, I do not fucking care. Okay?” 

“Ma-arc,” you whine, thighs spasming. “God Marc, please—” 

He groans, pausing to lap at your thighs, to clean up the mess he’s making. “Please what, baby? I’ll give you anything, just ask for it.” 

“Just—don’t stop, please—” 

And he doesn’t. He has no plans to. Not when his scalp is alight with the way you pull at every new movement of his tongue, not when you’re so fucking vocal, whining his name and little pleas and nonsensical strings of words that will forever echo in his brain. He doesn’t know how you manage to touch yourself so quietly at night when you think he’s asleep, when the only indications he gets that you’re touching yourself at all are the little shifts of the bed, the way you hold your breath before you cum, and (sometimes, on nights when you must be really, really worked up) the occasional wet sound of your fingers slipping over your clit.

“Marc, ‘m gonna cum,” you gasp. 

Marc’s heart stutters in his chest. He finds one of his hands lowering, aching to press a finger or two inside of you so that he can feel the clench of your pussy when he pushes you over the edge. But that’s just another good reason why he left your panties on; the last thing he needs is to push your boundaries in the heat of the moment, to lose his head and maybe take a liberty that would hurt you. He lets his thumb press against your soaked panties though, notching itself against your entrance even through the fabric. His jaw aches, legs numb from where he’s kneeling on them, but nothing could stop him now. Nothing. 

He focuses on the aching little knot of your clit, letting his tongue rasp over it until your back bows off of the couch, your breath stuttering and then stopping altogether the way he’s already so familiar with. Your fingers spasm in his hair, nearly losing your grip and then you’re pulling him closer, his nose pressed into your pubic bone, thighs shivering and shaking while you give a short cry. 

You came. You are cumming. Because of him. For him. He can feel the way your entrance spasms beneath the firm press of his thumb, and he lets himself imagine how that would feel around his cock. There’s no harm in just thinking about it. If thinking it were a sin, Marc’s soul would be lost long ago. 

Just as he expects you to come down, he finds you doing the opposite. 

“Don’t stop, don’t don’t, please, I can cum again—can I? Please—” 

Marc lets out a broken moan, nodding his head. Fuck it does things to him, hearing you beg, hearing you ask him for permission, like he has more of a say when you cum than you do. But you are pushing him back suddenly, and he jerks away as if he has been burned, eyes wide—had he had a time-slip? Had he missed something, some indication that you really wanted him to stop and not continue?

But all you do is shift your hips up, hooking your thumbs in the waistband of your panties and wrenching them down over your thighs, knees, tossing them to the side. He pulls his eyes away from where he’s dying to let them rest so that he can look at your face: damp at your temples, lips swollen from biting them. Your chest is heaving, and out of the corner of his eye he sees your hands clutch into fists again, suddenly anxious, exposed—

Exposed for him. Because you wanted to be. Because you chose to be. 

Marc lets his eyes fall, takes in your swollen pussy, slick with your own cum, and not to get fucking philosophical, but he’s pretty sure that it’s going to change his life. He wants it. He wants his mouth on it. He finds himself being drawn in like your pussy is a fucking siren and he’s ready to dash his ship on the fucking rocks just to drown in it happily. He barely manages to stop himself at the last moment.

“Can I?” he rasps. 

“Please,” you groan. 

He swipes his tongue from your entrance to your clit. Your taste is so much more concentrated like this, a little salt and a little sweet. He can’t help but press his tongue inside you as deep as your pussy will allow, his head nearly spinning when he feels the way you clench down softly, like you’re trying to keep him inside you. Then there is a sharp tug of his hair as you drag him back upwards a fraction. 

“My clit, please, pleasepleaseplease—” 

His eyes nearly roll. Fuck, he loves when you’re a little bossy. He loves when you’re confident, loves to see you chasing what feels good without letting your insecurities get in the way. He takes your clit between his lips and sucks sweetly, letting his tongue flicker over it. Only a few moments have passed since your last orgasm, and it’s clear that you’re heading towards another with the way your nails dig into his scalp, your breaths coming more and more stuttered. Beneath your breath, all you can repeat is fuck fuck fuck fuckfuckfuck. 

This time when you cum, you shriek. The volume of it clearly surprises you because it sends you into trilling peels of laughter that have him grinning even as he struggles to focus on prolonging your pleasure, letting his teeth graze over you just to see the way your laughter cuts off and your back arches, a gasp pulled from deep within your chest. 

“Holy fuck, Marc,” you gasp wetly. “Oh my god. I want to go for a third. Can I?” 

“Fuck, you’re one of those girls,” he laughs breathily. “And you thought you were too sensitive. Yeah, baby. Three for three sounds good.” 

This time his jaw just can’t keep up. You don’t seem to mind when braces a hand against your lower tummy and lets his thumb rub the slick little nub. The exhaustion of your all-nighter has clearly caught up to the both of you. He nearly loses himself watching the way your thighs go lax, utterly relaxed in your pleasure. Your head tilts on your neck like you can’t keep it up straight. Your lashes rest against your cheeks as you breathe out his name and ask so fucking sweetly, would you put a finger in me?

“Need something to clench down on?” Marc wonders, resting his head on your thigh. “Is your poor little pussy empty?” 

“Uh-huh,” is all you can whisper back. “Feels good to have someth’n inside when I cum.” 

“I’ll bet it does,” he whispers back. Gently, so gently, he eases a finger into you. You’re burning hot, slick and soft. Your orgasms have you so relaxed around him, he immediately knows that you could take another of his fingers. Two seems to offer you the stretch you want, because your shoulders sag in relief, walls clenching around him. 

When you cum for the last time, Marc gets to feel it. Wrung dry as you are, your pussy does nothing but give soft little spasms around his fingers as he flexes them and rubs the slick textured walls inside you. Your thighs twitch, a low whine rising in the back of your throat as he overstimulates you. But he can’t help it. He wants every last moment of your pleasure. He wants to commit every moment to memory in case this is all he ever gets from you, in case after graduation you move away and it’s all he has left of you. 

When Marc pulls his fingers free, he doesn’t hesitate to tuck them into his mouth and suck them clean. Your eyes are shut, head reclining back against the couch, thighs still spread as far as he forced them open. Your poor pussy looks so sensitive, so fucked out and fucked open by him. 

The need rises up in him, a tsunami wave that blocks out the sun. He’s been ignoring his cock for so long—during what is without question the most amazing sexual experience of his life, no less—and now the desperation becomes almost a frenzy. He has to get to the bathroom so that he can jerk off, posthaste. He doesn’t care if it’s improper, doesn’t care if it’s all too obvious to you what he’s doing. 

Marc stumbles away from you on his knees, palms hitting the floor to keep himself balanced. He catches sight of his fingers, still wet from where he had sucked them clean, and a sound slips from the back of his throat: high and desperate. The little movement he’s made has brushed his cock against the denim and pushed him incrementally closer to that edge. 

“Marc?” 

The bathroom is right there—

“Marc—” 

—he can see it, see the door cracked open, see the silly little night light you put in there, the one that keeps him from constantly banging his hip on the sharp edge of the sink—

“Marc.” 

He has stopped his forward movement, he realizes. He has fallen to one elbow, his other hand fumbling at the button of his jeans, but his fingers are clumsy and exhausted and shaking with how badly he needs to cum, so he just says fuck it, just reaches down and rubs himself over the denim. The attention after so much neglect has him gasping wetly. He let himself lower the last few inches until he is laying on the floor, lets himself tip onto his back until he is looking up at the cheap fluorescent lighting doing his to jerk himself off through the restrictive denim—

And he sees you, sitting upright on the couch with your eyes on him, face slack. 

Yeah, he cums. Right then, looking at you, at the haze in your eyes and the hair plastered to your forehead. He cums so hard his eyes roll back, cums so hard that it hurts, cums so hard that he knows a little piece of his soul slips out of his body and will forever rest there in Dorm Room E12. There will be a monument there, useless though no less momentous for it, like Plymouth Rock or the Liberty Bell. It will let future generations know that this is where Marc Spector saw God. 

He lays there on the floor panting. Slowly your face comes into view above him. You’ve tugged your pants back on. 

“Are you…okay?” you ask. 

He holds up his thumb. 

The smile you give him is wobbly, and the next ten minutes the two of you spend cleaning up the apartment (after Marc ducks into the bathroom and changes his pants, thanks) are painful with how quiet you are. When you crawl into bed, you pull the blankets up so high that all he can see is your hair, facing the wall.

Maybe he should have known that this would happen. Common sense could have forewarned him that eating out your best friend might lead to some internal conflict. While it was happening, he would have told himself that no matter the consequences, it was worth it, but now he isn’t sure. He crosses to his bed, sheds his shirt, and is just about to slip between the sheets when he sees it: a neat little folded square of pale purple fabric, tucked just beneath the edge of his pillow. He pulls your panties free and clutches them in one fist, heart pounding. It had to have been an accident—except it couldn’t have been. You must not have done it on purpose—but then how could you have done it at all? He brings them up to his face and smells the scent of your slick. They’re still damp, for fuck’s sake. 

“Here lies Marc Spector,” he mutters. He tucks the panties beneath his pillow, mind already spinning about the implication of them. Already determined that he’ll give them back when they’re pried from his cold dead hands. Just as he pulls the sheets over himself, he sees the glow of the sun strike the wall through the window with the broken slat blinds. He plans to watch the sunlight move across the wall as it rises, but falls asleep within an instant.

[toomanywatchers]

My Thoughts on WatcherTV

Hi, I am here to put away my meme-making skills to express my genuine thoughts on Watcher’s announcement; WatcherTV. Before I get into it, this is for any of those at Team Watcher who might be seeing this message: Just know we love and support everything you do for us. Y’all truly do not get the credit you rightfully deserve. I hope with this change to a separate streaming platform you guys can create the content you want to make, pull in creators that you’ve always wanted to work with, and share voices/topics that may have not had the chance to shine because of YouTube’s heinous algorithm. I know myself, and many others, are excited to see what WatcherTV brings. For instance, I already watched Road Files and the trailer for Travel Season on the new platform. And guess what? I love it! I just love BTS-centric shows and seeing the vibes established on Travel Season. Along with more Lizzie/possibly-more-sightings-of-other-Team-Watcher-peeps content?!? If this is what holds for the future of WatcherTV- oh boy, do you already have me more on board than I already was.

I also send my sincerest regards too. We all know that the internet can be a negative space with many sharing their uncensored thoughts, and I hope none of you take the hate to heart. I also hope you can take the weekend to breathe, drink some water, spend time with loved ones, and celebrate this huge step you all are embarking on. I am truly excited to see what is to come on WatcherTV will be there with each step to support.

Now to my fellow fans of Watcher. I understand the concern and it is okay to have concerns. It shows that you truly care for Watcher as a company and don’t want anything negative to come about with this decision. BUT on the other hand, spreading hateful messages? Not. Fucking. Cool. It is quite simple to express concern in an appropriate/respectful manner. Remember, this is a company full of living and breathing human beings. Trying to justify “who is to blame” and pointing fingers is just childish. Guess what? No one is to blame, it was a company-wide decision that they all made and spent months upon months to create.

Yes, it does suck to see content that was free for years be moved to a paywall, but remember they are independent artists that have to pay employees, freelancers, locations, and themselves! Have we not been advocating for fair pay among creative individuals when it comes to WGA/SAG-AFTRA strikes and then AI art taking jobs away from artists? If this is what the company needs to do to survive while not sacrificing the high-quality content they make for us, then we should give it a shot! Plus with the current discount available, the subscription is not that pricey for the amount of shows they produce! Literally for January and a bit of February, they were uploading 2 podcasts and 2 separate shows… that’s a lot of content! If you have never sat down to produce, direct, write, perform, edit, and all other aspects it takes to make a fine-polished YouTube video, it takes a lot of work!

To add to this, Watcher already makes content that far expands past what is recognized as normal for YouTube. They build individual sets for each show that is produced, and they travel all over the place for Ghost Files and soon-to-be Travel Season. It costs money to produce content and YouTube?- It’s just not how it was years and years ago. Views on long-form content have been dipping and with the over-saturation of sponsorships, I am assuming they are not making enough profit to sustain the business on the current platform. Also, monetization on YouTube has been a killer for many channels because of vulgar language issues and just being demonetized for no rhyme or reason. By moving over to a streaming platform of their own they can continue to create what they want to create, and make it without any restrictions or rules holding them back. Too pricey? Find some friends who also like the content and split the pricing evenly. Only want to watch certain shows? Then make a monthly subscription for the time that show airs. There are many solutions that you guys see as a huge problem, and don’t get me wrong I have my concerns. I shared those concerns briefly in my theory post about them still being a young channel, but I’m also unaware of the actual analytics and revenue that is currently being brought in currently to the company from YouTube alone. 

It’s a huge step that has garnered negative feedback from those spreading hateful messages about the company and to other individuals for supporting the boys *cough cough I see your messages and comments cough cough* is truly uncalled for. I will be taking a bit of a break from my socials as I wait out the storm though if I have the energy, I might stream on Twitch again and talk through this with y’all if you can sit down and have a civil discussion. As for now, it’s your choice if you continue to support. My goal is to continue to make funny little memes, and if I am allowed to I will be working on a crack video pt.2 after Travel Season premieres. Remember to be kind and to put yourselves in their shows. Just the boys even though they are receiving the brunt of the hate, but for everyone at the company.

Your local memester watcherina - Fritz.

[merrybloomwrites]

You Can Start a Family (Extra: Fan Reactions)

Finally doing my first requested story!

Based on the following ask from @drunk-teens-doing-drugs and the comment from @luxiorchive

Summary: A serious of reactions from from fans and Media about Harry's new girlfriend as well as Mitch & Sarah's feelings of being left out of big moments. This story starts immediately after the end of chapter 10.

Previous Chapters:

Main Story: One ; Two ; Three ; Four ; Five ; Six ; Seven ; Eight ; Nine ; Ten

Sickfic Part 1 ; Part 2

Mitchrry Prequel

Mitch & Matilda

Wordcount: 2.1K

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“Can you do me a favor?” Harry says, breaking the morning silence.

“Uhm, yea, sure, what is it?” You ask. Unless Harry asked you for something crazy you’d do pretty much anything he said right now. Two days ago, he joined your relationship and you, Harry, Mitch, and Sarah had your first official date together. Yesterday you all spent the day out on the water enjoying the beautiful Italian views. The night ended back in your shared bed, you and Harry having sex for the first time while Mitch and Sarah reconnected right next to you.

So yea, you were pretty blissed out and content, happy to please your boyfriends and girlfriend however they want.

You’ve all been awake for a little while, hanging out in bed and switching cuddle partners every now and then. You’re currently in between Mitch and Sarah with Harry on Sarah’s other side. He’d picked up his phone a few minutes ago, seeing a screen full of notifications and he knew he had to peek at what was happening, just to make sure nothing was wrong. Which has led to him asking you a favor.

“Can you not go on social media today?” He asks you.

“Sure,” you answer quickly. That was an easy request. You aren’t even sure where your phone is to be honest. You’re more than happy to exist in your little happy bubble, but still, you’re curious about his request. “Can I ask why you want me offline today?”

“Yea the uh, the pap photos from yesterday have been posted.”

“Oh gosh, what, are they bad? Was it a terrible angle and I look awful? Did they like, photoshop someone else’s face on me or something?”

“No, love,” he answers with a laugh. “Nothing like that. It’s just that this is new and I’m not sure how people are going to respond yet. I want to make sure you don’t stumble across something nasty.”

“Do you think people are going to be negative?” Sarah asks, worried about the idea of you two receiving backlash.

“I never know what to think,” he replies while scrolling through his phone. “But I will say that everything seems positive so far. Media outlets are confused, wondering who this ‘mystery woman’ is. Fans are much better detectives. They’ve already posted some videos of you at my shows.”

“Can I see?” Mitch asks and takes the phone Harry hands him. After a moment he says, “Oh this is good. The people who were near you at the concerts are all saying how nice and chill you were. There’re a few comments saying you seem to follow Harry’s treat people with kindness motto, that’s like the best compliment his fans can give.”

You smile at that, remembering all the moments you got to share with Harry’s fans during his shows. You realize that you probably won’t be able to do that again in the future, now that you’re officially known as Harry’s new girl, but you hope you’ll still be able to interact with the fans in some way.

“Okay, phones away,” Sarah says, and Mitch immediately locks the phone and hands it back to Harry.

“What’s the plan for today?” Sarah then asks.

“Can we stay here and go swimming?” you ask. “I’ve been taking Ryan in the pool a lot but I don’t get to actually swim, you know?”

“Sounds good to me,” Harry replies as the other two nod in agreement. “How is Ryan?” he asks, and you fill them in on the boy you nanny as you all get ready.

The four of you spend that day and the next relaxing at the private villa. It isn’t until dinner of the second evening that Harry decides it’s time to pop the bubble and see what people are saying online.

You’re all sitting at the table outside and he explains that no news is good news, that his publicist would have called if there was anything truly bad being said. He pulls out his phone and starts to scroll. When he doesn’t say anything for the first minute you start to get anxious but finally he begins to smile.

“It’s good?” Sarah asks.

“It’s- Yea. It’s really good. I mean, I hoped this would be the reaction, but I’m used to getting so much negativity that I didn’t think it would actually be like this. I mean there’s a couple of bad comments but for the most part it’s, God, it’s really good.” Harry says this with a smile so big his dimples are showing. Suddenly your insecurities and fears vanish, replaced by joy for your boyfriend.

His words and obvious relief make you remember all that he’s been through with the public. He’s suffered years of lies and abuse from fans and media alike, and he’s probably been more worried than anyone else the past few days even if he wasn’t showing it.

You move to sit in his lap, kissing him gently then asking, “Can you read us some comments?”

Harry complies happily, one arm wrapped around you as he tells you all what people are saying.

There are hundreds of comments saying how cute and happy you two look together. Some people have negative things to say about you, but even seeing them say that you’re not pretty, or too plain, or a total nobody can’t shake you. It doesn’t matter what they think, not really. It matters what Harry and Sarah and Mitch think. And since they respond with compliments to contradict every negative comment you’re feeling pretty good.

There’s a feeling of celebration in the air and you realize that you were all more worried about the feedback than you thought. But seeing so much positivity makes you feel really happy. You didn’t necessarily need the validation but having that rather than having people hate your relationship with Harry uncomplicates things a little bit. A four-person relationship is a lot to manage and needing to make the public happy would’ve added a strain that you all simply did not want to deal with.

Over the next few months people spot you and Harry together a few times both in England and in the US. Every time new pictures drop the fans get so excited and comment about how happy they are for you and Harry.

On a few occasions all four of you are spotted together. As always the fans have a number of theories about that and you’re all relieved to see the most common one is that you must be friends with Mitch and Sarah, and they introduced you and Harry.

You’re happy that they came to this conclusion naturally, since that’s what you always hoped the fans would think. The downside of course is that you have to distance yourself from Mitch and Sarah when you’re in public. You can somewhat get away with being close to Sarah since people seem to love that you two are “besties”. However, you and Mitch are extremely careful not to get too close, knowing that tabloids and gossip columns would jump on an opportunity to claim drama with Harry’s relationship.

For the most part, this secrecy is just a part of life. In fact, none of you really want any of your personal lives shared with the public if you can help it. But sometimes it does get difficult not being able to show each member of your relationship the same level of love and attention.

One of the biggest examples of that is the Grammy Awards in 2024. Harry’s up for an award and was asked to give a performance as well. The four of you get ready together and hype each other up throughout the day while making sure to not be too obvious in front of the stylists in the room.

When everyone is ready and about to get in the cars Harry turns to you and says, “You look absolutely beautiful my love.” He leans down and presses a kiss to your lips. When you break apart you’re blushing, aware of Anthony taking pictures of the moment.

“Thank you,” you finally reply. “You look gorgeous as well.” You lean together for another kiss and after a moment you pull away laughing and swatting at Harry as he gently tickles your sides.

You glance over to Sarah and Mitch standing together in another part of the room. There’s a mixture of emotions on their faces and you know them well enough by this point to figure out what they’re feeling with just a look. First is a look of adoration since they simply adore and love both you and Harry. But under that is concern? No. Not concern. Jealousy.

They want to be a part of that moment. Not for any sort of external praise or fame, but because they want to share every part of life all together as a foursome.

These feelings continue throughout the entire day. They want to be by Harry’s side with you as you support him down the red carpet. When you meet them all backstage after the performance they wish that they could share a kiss with you like Harry does. And when Harry wins in his category they want to celebrate with him instead of cheering him on from a separate table in the back of the room.

For someone who has no prior relationship experience before this, you are very good at figuring out what your boyfriends and girlfriend need at any given moment. And that night Mitch and Sarah need to be reassured that they’re as much a part of the relationship as you and Harry.

After finally leaving the afterparty that management forced you and Harry to attend you rush home hoping Mitch and Sarah will still be up. You find them both cuddled on the couch in sweats and immediately realize how uncomfortable your dress is.

Without hesitation you remove your dress, drop it on the floor, and pick up Sarah’s oversized sweater from a nearby chair. You slide it on, and it reaches mid-thigh, so you decide you’re clothed enough. You snuggle in between Mitch and Sarah and Harry joins the cuddle session on the couch a moment later. Things stay innocent for the remainder of the movie that’s playing and then you decide to show the others just how much you love them.

You first focus on Mitch and Sarah, pleasing them and showering them with care and adoration. Then the three of you turn to Harry and congratulate him on another Grammy win in a way that only the three of you are allowed to do.

After that instance the four of you have a conversation about what everyone was feeling that night. From day one you all knew that open communication is key and so over breakfast you hash out all the emotions and come up with a solution to make sure no one is ever feeling left out.

Things aren’t always easy for you and Harry either. While the general public’s reaction to you and him dating is mostly positive, there are negative comments and sometimes things can spiral out of control.

One time your cousin Matt is visiting during a week when Harry happens to be away for work. Pictures of you and Matt start to surface and within hours the cheating rumors begin. At first it doesn’t bother you as it’s honestly kind of expected, but people started to get downright nasty. Finally, you post a story on Instagram, introducing Matt as your cousin in a borderline passive aggressive manner. Most people back off after that, but some don’t believe you. From that moment you know there’s a subsection of fans that will never like you, but you know it’s a small group, so you let it slide.

There are also people who don’t like you simply because you’re dating Harry Styles. They stayed in the background when those first pictures were posted, thinking you’d be gone pretty quickly. But when they realized you were sticking around they started to post nasty comments. It’s mostly just typical mean girl stuff, saying you’re too plain, or fat, or short, or any judgmental thing they can think of even if it couldn’t be farther from the truth.

You don’t mind these comments too much, knowing they’re made mostly out of jealousy. And nights when they surface tend to end in Sarah, Mitch, and Harry showering you in compliments and worshipping your body so really the internet trolls are doing you a favor.

You know you’re never going to win over everyone so having a majority of people happy for you and Harry makes you feel content. But at the end of the day, what they think doesn’t matter. Because you have the most wonderful boyfriends and girlfriend to share life with, and that makes you the luckiest person alive.

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Thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed!

Let me know if you have any requests!

Taglist: @akkatz @pandeebearstyles @walkingintheheartbreaksatellite @theekyliepage @numafarawayglxy @booberry019-blog @hillzrry @ssareidbby @gem1712 @acesofspadess @houseofdilfs @shaquille-0atmeal-1 @kissitnhekitchen @amateurduck @poguestyleskye @n0vaj3an @snwells @drunk-teens-doing-drugs ; @fdl305

[hazbingirliexoxo]

“The Archer” Angel Dust Analysis

A/n: ALRIGHT YALL❣️ it’s been a hot minute (literally a whole month lol rip☠️) but I have FINALLY written this and am ready to share it with everyone!🤩 So I’m a huge Swiftie and I absolutely love Angel😭💕 so listening to this song: “The Archer” instantly made me think of him. I think the lyrics really highlight how his experiences with love have shaped the complexities of his true feelings and while we still have so much more to discover about his and Husk’s developing relationship in the show, I truly think that this song just “screams” them. If you haven’t listened to the song before, I definitely recommend to!😊 Anyway, lez get into it!😎

Note: For reference, I primarily used this article: https://gwtimes.org/1625/music-books-movies/the-archer-taylor-swift-lyric-analysis/ to organize all of my thoughts and opinions on why this song suits Angel so well. I think this author did an excellent job at explaining the real message of the song in regards to Taylor’s life, but this analysis is solely based on my OWN interpretation of how Angel’s character fits this song. Just wanted to clarify. THANK YOU AND ENJOY!!!❤️❤️❤️

Combat, I’m ready for combat

I say I don’t want that, but what if I do?

Cause cruelty wins in the movies

I’ve got a hundred thrown out speeches I almost said to you

Okay so, with these first few lines, we can think about how much Angel has been through, both in life and death. Like anyone else, he’s made mistakes and fought with many people he’s cared about before, whether that be with his birth family (ex: Arackniss, Molly) or his newfound family/friends he’s made at the hotel later on (ex: Charlie, Husk, Niffty, Sir Pentious, etc). But in terms of his actual familial background, Angel was born and raised in the mafia, meaning he’s used to seeing the indescribable horrors and violence associated with that lifestyle. He has no choice but to conjure up this metaphorical shield of “armor” in order to not only protect himself but also, survive. This ultimately makes it very difficult for Angel to form and develop good, healthy relationships, whether that’d be platonic or romantic, because as much as he craves genuine love and affection, isn’t that going against everything he’s known? To not care about what anyone thinks of him because at the end of the day, everyone leaves regardless? Angel Dust is a perfect example of being conditioned to this toxic, negative mindset he’s built for himself every day and we especially see more of this when it comes to his work with Valentino.

Now Angel is a celebrity, the most famous porn star in all of hell. Of course, due to his natural charisma and good looks, all eyes are drawn to him. He’s expected to essentially “put on a show” and show off what he’s “good for” because who could resist the seductive, charming Angel Dust? But that’s the cruel irony behind it all. Angel’s perception of his pornstar persona overshadows the reality of his true self, which makes it easy for him to push people away and not let anyone see the real him. He’s bred to allow people to chase after him, lust after him, because that’s the embodiment of who Angel Dust is, not who Anthony is. Angel Dust doesn’t care if people “leave” him because he knows that one way or another, there’s always someone else who will appreciate him for his “talents”, who will shower him with the desire and attention he so desperately seeks, despite it being superficial. But Anthony? No one knows who that is nor anyone would care to know who Anthony is in Angel’s mind, so rather than reveal his true thoughts, he decides to remain silent and keep them hidden from the public view as a way to protect himself.

Easy they come, easy they go

I jump from the train, I ride off alone

I never grew up, it’s getting so old

Help me hold on to you

Now, these second set of lyrics go a little more in-depth about Angel’s personal life and relationships. The first line expresses how easily he attracts people and yet still drives them away. The second one, however, can be explored through both a platonic and a romantic perspective. In a platonic lens, Angel struggles with making real, genuine friends (other than Cherri) because he’s afraid no one will be interested to get to know him. The same thing can be said in a romantic point of view. Angel loves to flirt, yes, but with his pornstar persona, he over-amplifies it and makes it seem like he’s “on board” in the beginning, but in the slightest sense of any seriousness or vulnerability, he “jumps off”, going his own way because he knows he’s unable to commit. This third line takes a look into how Angel is associated with being the “black sheep” of his family. Despite his somewhat childish nature, Angel’s always causing trouble and has never been the more focused, responsible type like his older brother: Arackniss. But due to these specific family dynamics, this shows how Angel feels like he’s never taken seriously with his true self. And because of that, he doesn’t understand how to grow and mature enough as a person to handle long-term relationships. The last line here can be portrayed as Angel’s inner thoughts and feelings towards his future love interest in the series: Husk. Angel is so used to giving up and running away from the idea of real love because of his own sexual abuse and trauma from Valentino. But throughout his whole afterlife, Husk is the only good man who respects and values Angel for who he truly is and despite how nice yet unfamiliar that feeling is, Angel’s terrified of losing it. Therefore, these lyrics can imply how he’s pleading for Husk to help him stay grounded and focus on exploring and pursuing this new relationship with him.

I’ve been the archer, I’ve been the prey

Who could ever leave me, darling? But who could stay?

In the chorus, we can start to see the lyrics become even more personified towards Angel’s life. He’s been hurt by so many people, yet he’s also his own worst enemy because he’s done the same thing to those who he cares about too, ultimately straining or damaging the relationships as a whole. He wonders why no one would want to stay in his life, but deep down, he knows that he doesn’t make it easy for people to love him either. So in order to change that, he needs to believe in himself and trust that he can make a positive effort towards becoming better.

Dark side, I search for your dark side

But what if I’m all right, right, right, right here?

And I cut off my nose just to spite my face

Then hate my reflection, for years and years

Within the next verse, we can connect back to how Angel’s toxic mindset has made a profound impact on himself and his relationships. There’s a big part of him that’s always subconsciously searching for the negative aspects of letting people into his life, and that in itself, is what overpowers his psyche into not recognizing and acknowledging the positive facets as well. These next few lines can be referenced to how he strives to maintain his pornstar persona. The whole concept of Angel Dust is for him to be as appealing and desirable to everyone no matter what because that’s what the public likes to see. But unfortunately, what Angel doesn’t comprehend is that he doesn’t need to overemphasize this “mask” of his because the real, genuine people in his life (such as Molly, Charlie, Cherri, Husk, etc.) love and accept him for who he is internally rather than externally. This lack of understanding can also drive him to act impulsive with his emotions and lash out towards the people he deeply cares about, thereby causing him to feel hatred towards himself and regret the decisions he’s made later on.

I wake in the night, I pace like a ghost

The room is on fire, invisible smoke

And all of my heroes die all alone

Help me hold on to you

The metaphorical meaning behind these next lyrics can connect to how empty and restless Angel feels when he’s by himself. We know that he suffers intense nightmares and drug hallucinations from Valentino, but in this next line: “The room is on fire, invisible smoke”, this allows us to dive deeper into his inner troubles and the emotional turmoil and chaos he’s experiencing from it. He’s known to “burn bridges” and “start fires” with others because like I stated previously, he believes everyone will leave him eventually, so as a result, he shuts people out as a way to cope with this depression and loneliness, knowing that it’s still his fault.

I’ve been the archer, I’ve been the prey

Screaming, who could ever leave me, darling? But who could stay?

Here we have the main chorus again, but what’s different is that the word “screaming” is used. This allows us to really see and feel the intensity behind Angel’s emotions. It can almost be viewed as if he’s “crying out for help” and begging for someone, ANYONE, to reach out and stay there with him.

Cause they see right through me

They see right through me

They see right through

Can you see right through me?

They see right through me (2x)

I see right through me (2x)

This next sequence of lyrics is pretty self-explanatory, especially regarding Angel’s famous reputation. Based upon his story arc so far, the internal struggles and hardships Angel has faced throughout life and death have definitely taken a toll on him. Even though he aims to portray this glamorous, charming pornstar personality, characters like Husk can see right through Angel pretty easily and have no issue in calling him out for how fake he’s being. This not only makes Angel very hyper-aware of his mask “slipping away”, but also adds on an extra layer of anxiety and panic he’s feeling from losing control of that facade.

All the king’s horses, all the king’s men

Couldn’t put me together again

‘Cause all of my enemies started out friends

Help me hold on to you

The first line here is a clear reference to the nursery rhyme, Humpty Dumpty, but the next few lines are what really emphasize Angel’s character even more. Angel is not an easy guy to get along with. He knows he can be an asshole and because of that, he’s made many enemies who could’ve potentially stayed as friends in his life if he didn’t push them away. But that doesn’t make him feel as if he’s alone right? After all, Angel Dust is fulfilled with receiving “love” from clients, fans, and Valentino all the time, so that has to mean something, right? This particular mindset is what fuels Angel to continue craving that form of infatuation and attention because it’s what he surrounds himself with every day. However, once that “high” dies down, who does he have waiting there for him at home? No one, because in reality, he IS alone and that terrifies him even more due to the fact that he’s the reason behind these self-destructive tendencies.

I’ve been the archer, I’ve been the prey

Who could ever leave me, darling? But who could stay?

(I see right through me, I see right through me)

Who could stay? (4x)

You could stay

Combat, I’m ready for combat

These final lines of the song play a significant role in how Angel’s perspective on love can change for the future. Like I’ve said prior, Angel has never had anyone show real, genuine interest in him before, that is, until he met Husk. Husk has made it very clear in the beginning that he doesn’t like putting up with anyone’s bullshit. While his gruff, no-nonsense exterior may be off-putting to others, Angel is very attracted to how real Husk is in expressing how he feels and that is exactly the kind of person Angel needs in his life right now. Over some time throughout the series so far, we start to see a closer relationship develop between the two as well, how fond and comfortable they are of each other. This scares Angel because like all of his other relationships and his current predicament with Valentino, he’s afraid that Husk will voluntarily leave or be taken away from him forever. So in order to avoid that, Angel is determined to do everything he can to keep Husk a permanent part of his life.

Overall, Angel is well aware that he’s not an easy person to love, but with Husk, he feels as if he could be the one to truly understand and accept him for who he is. That maybe, and hopefully, Husk will be the one to stay for good❤️

A/n: yalll,, this is soo fucking long I’m so sorry😭 but I absolutely love these two with all my heart, literally on my hands and knees like this 🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️ but anywaysss I really hoped you enjoyed it just as much as I loved writing it🥰 PLEASE give me all the feedback you have! I would love to hear everyone’s thoughts and opinions, it would really make my day🥹 Thanks for reading loves!!🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼

[theshiftingcafe]

⇢ ˗ˏˋ shifting pick a pile ✧˖°࿐ ꒰"what do i need to hear right now?"꒱

hello! welcome to the shifting cafe!

for today's session, we'll be tackling about what exactly you need to hear right now in regard to shifting. basically, some simple advice.

i know a lot of you must be currently struggling with your shifting journey, so, i hope this simple pick a pile brings you comfort and leaves you with at least a little bit of clarity

REMEMBER: TAKE WHAT REASONATES, LEAVE WHAT DOESNT

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵

pick from at least one of these pictures:

∘₊✧───────────── pile 1 ─────────────✧₊∘

how have you been doing, pile one? the cards tell me that you’ve really been disappointed lately. not just with where you are in your shifting journey, but also especially with yourself. i’m getting the vibe that most of you haven’t exactly shifted yet, and you’re already getting so frustrated with it. sometimes, you start thinking to yourself if this was really meant to be for you, or if everything is just meant to hurt you over and over again.

the cards reassure you that all your hardwork will eventually pay off. all those restless nights, all those disappointments, all those frustrations, all those negative responses, will all be worth it in the end. you have such a strong determination and perseverance within you. even if you don’t realize it, you do! you’re willing to put up with anything and give as much, if not more than, the effort needed. and incase no one has told you yet, i am so so proud of you for it.

you’re going to, or currently going through, the end of an era. you’re leaving behind what no longer serves you and mourning all the losses you have experienced. change can’t be avoided, and change is necessary. so don’t be afraid. everyone goes through their own changes. no matter how small or big it is, every single one of us progresses forward one step at a time. perhaps the card is telling you to change something about yourself for your shifting journey. whether it be something simple like a method, or something bigger like your mindset or beliefs, remember to face it with courage and grace. also remember to be patient with yourself. make mistakes, have trials and errors, but never ever look down on yourself for them.

being fearful of shifting is completely understandable. but never let that fear swallow you into oblivion. you’re letting your emotions get the better of you and it’s slowly taking over the magic of how you view shifting. being overwhelmed with your emotions is perfectly normal, especially towards such a skill, but don’t let it get the better of your beliefs and judgment.

you’re definitely very committed to your journey, yet want to share your experiences with everyone else. maybe looking for a community like it perhaps? you’ve been thinking about it for a while now because it could benefit you as well like boost your belief and motivation in shifting. whatever it is, do whatever is necessary to bring your dreams and desires into fruition. because in the end, best believe you will succeed.

•------------------------------------------------------------•

that is all pile 1! thank you so much for stopping by the shifting cafe and spending this session with me. i hope to see you all again soon. happy shifting!

•------------------------------------------------------------•

∘₊✧───────────── pile 2 ─────────────✧₊∘

one word for this pile: early shifttok?

i feel like some of you reading this pile have discovered shifting through early shifttok and have consumed misinformation or are currently consuming misinformation without realizing it. you continue to look at shifting as this strict belief with certain rules that you can never break out of or have to follow 24/7 when really, you don’t. shifting isn’t some calculated experience where you have to be a certain person to shift. at the end of the day, as scary as it is, it’s you who makes yourself shift. not some random person on tiktok who claims to be an “all knower” of shifting, because honestly, shifting is still a big mystery to everyone. and i mean everyone. even me. so don’t be afraid to do anything out of the norm–or at least, out of the norm for shifttok. do a method differently, have a different outlook on shifting, whatever! it’s your journey, so why would you let other people influence it. there’s a big difference between considering suggestions and strictly following a single piece of advice. be wary which one you’re doing from tim to time, or else, you wont grow into your full potential.

you’re slowly losing your love for shifting, and i’m so sorry you feel that way. genuinely. you feel like you haven’t really gotten anywhere this whole time and you feel like you’ve just wasted your time and energy on everything. you’re finding it so hard to feel anything for shifting. no joy, no inspiration, not even sadness or frustration. just an empty hollow bittersweet feeling. you don’t feel any connection with your dr or shifting in general anymore and you’re ready to leave it all behind.

not a lot of people advise this, but personally, part of shifting to another physical body is also taking care of your current one. learn to appreciate simple everyday details of life. if you feel like you’re having a hard time doing so, start with something small like appreciating your meal or appreciating yourself for taking care of, well, yourself. if you’re having a hard time manifesting, start with something small like a penny on the floor or seeing a sticker on the wall. If you’re having a hard time connecting yourself with your dr, do mundane things like cleaning or brushing your hair and think about how you do this in your dr too. learn to live in the real world because this is exactly how you’re going to feel in your dr. it’s just as real as your current reality, and not some fantasy world where everything will go your way.

everythings not always going to end up right in your dr. you’re gonna knock a glass over and spill some milk, but the important part is calming down and cleaning the mess instead of freaking out and thinking you’re going to spill everything you touch. sit down for a second and realize that making a mistake is not a bad thing. it’s not your fault. it was never your fault. you made a mistake, you failed, you lost, and that’s perfectly ok. whats not ok is beating yourself up for it everyday instead of moving on or even learning from it and growing into a better person. the cards suggest turning to a spiritual path and slowly let go of your materialism. maybe a bit of shadow work would help?

sometimes, situations you plan for workout. sometimes, they don’t. but that isn’t a sign for you to just give up and punish yourself for something that you rarely ever have control of. life and shifting isn’t just a one chance moment and you aren’t just a one time wonder. there will be moments where you know exactly where you want to go, and either eventually succeed or eventually have a “try again” moment. other times, you will be wandering around aimlessly and uncertain about where you’re headed. you expect to then fail, right? but what if you succeed? what if you emit from the darkness and finally find light? because life will just forever be full of “what if”s, but it’s up to you whether you take the risk or not.

there’s absolutely no harm in trying as long as you’re ready to fail and reflect on it, and of course, be gentle and patient with yourself.

•------------------------------------------------------------•

that is all pile 2! thank you so much for stopping by the shifting cafe and spending this session with me. i hope to see you all again soon. happy shifting!

•------------------------------------------------------------•

∘₊✧───────────── pile 3 ─────────────✧₊∘

if you ended up on this pile, you must be someone who’s very curious. asking about anything and everything all of the time. but let me ask you this: have you ever questioned yourself? i can see you investing your physical and emotional energy into shifting, yet you feel like you’re not getting anything in return. have you checked up on yourself lately? you have so much potential within you, yet you refuse to do a double take and realize that less is more. you don’t have to over consume on materialistic things in the 3d plane because that’s only leading you to stay here enjoying watching whatever that is rather than in your dr where you could enjoy it in real time.

the cards tell me that you’re scared of something. perhaps your dr, your future there, or shifting in general. what are you so afraid of? Perhaps this fear is coming from past repressed issues that you just can’t shake off and continue to haunt you till this day. they remind you to not be afraid to ask for guidance and assistance. talk to someone about it, console to someone about your fears, and so much more. remember to put your own wellbeing first rather than your priorities because you wouldn’t be able to focus on these if you still have dark lingering thoughts at the back of your head.

you’re gonna have to step out of your comfort zone and make changes not only with your routine but also with yourself. i’m sure you don’t feel confident with yourself right now as you have recently been facing so many delays and disappointments, but i promise you, you’ll be alright. stop beating yourself up and thinking you don’t deserve good things because you do. and you deserve to shift. i can assure you, you’re meant for great things. you may not be glowing as brightly as you were, but that doesn’t mean you’ve stopped being a star. eventually, you’re going to get that spark back.

having a fog about what's next for you is perfectly normal. anxiety with what's to come is too. perhaps you’re becoming less interested in something you’ve devoted your whole body and mind to. a dr maybe? or an s/o? again, take what resonates and leave what doesn’t. don’t feel ashamed to let go and even replace your goals, wants, and needs. there are moments where you’re not going to be connected with your drs, but that’s perfectly normal. so don’t feel ashamed and beat yourself up for it. it’s your dr after all.

i can see you’ve recently been so emotional about your journey. just let it all out. if you have a friend, console them about your problems. if you have a journal, write your emotions out. understand what you’re feeling and understand why you’re feeling these emotions. but most importantly, don’t ever let your emotions get the better of you and control your actions towards yourself or others. feeling these are understandable. no one ever said this journey would be easy, and everyone’s experiences are different, but don’t let that discourage you. instead, let it inspire you more. so, wipe away those tears, dust off your knees, and take a deep breath before trying again. who knows? the next thing you know, you wouldn’t have even realized that you have already succeeded.

•------------------------------------------------------------•

that is all pile 3! thank you so much for stopping by the shifting cafe and spending this session with me. i hope to see you all again soon. happy shifting!

•------------------------------------------------------------•

・゜゜・．.・゜゜・・゜゜・．.・゜゜・・゜゜・．.・

that is it for today's pick a pile session! thank you so much for everyone who decided to participate/stop by and picked their piles for some guidance. i hope these resonated and i have interpreted them well for all of you.

if you have any suggestions for future pick a piles, please feel free to request through messaging me or leaving an ask!

for a personal tarot reading session, check out my carrd and order from my google forms!

thank you so so so much and i'll see you all soon! happy shifting!

・゜゜・．.・゜゜・・゜゜・．.・゜゜・・゜゜・．.・

[m4ndysk4nkovich]

how the six family roles in an addictive household are shown in shameless, season 1

so i said i’d make this post a while ago and guess what? i lied. oops. anyways i finally did it so here you guys go!

also, i’m only doing season 1 here because season 1 is the season where the roles are the most clear. after that, some siblings share roles or change roles. in many, many ways, season 1 is much simpler, as we all know.

i most of my information from this article, and i copy and pasted some of it.

 the addict, is frank. you could also say that it’s monica, however she left the family/household years prior to the start of the show. as the consequences of addiction begin to form, the addicted family member will often portray negative behaviors to others in the family including lying, manipulating, and pointing fingers of blame; frank does all of this in season 1 constantly. he lies about where aunt ginger is, manipulates his family by assuring them that he is sober, and he puts the blame on other members of his family, such as ian or monica. half of the family views him as a nuisance, and the other half views him as beloved.

the enabler, is debbie. enabler’s don’t set boundaries and excuse a lot of the addict’s behavior. for debbie, it’s not that she doesn’t understand frank’s addiction or how shitty frank is, she does (1x08), but she chooses to pretend like things are alright. she loves her dad a lot, and she wants to pretend like everything is okay. she wants to pretend like things won’t go back to the way they are, even though she knows they will. we see her caring for her dad, waking up in the middle of the night to check on him and bring him a pillow, asking him if he’s okay, she cares. nobody else really cares that much. we see her become more of an enabler in season 2/3 especially, but again, only season 1 here.

the scapegoat, is lip. many people would like to argue that it’s carl (or debbie or ian) and maybe later on, but not here. the scapegoat of the family often gets blamed for the family’s issues, usually the scapegoat is the second oldest (!!) or middle child. in many cases, this person feels their purpose is to provide their family members with an outlet for blame. so, they can take on a parent’s and other sibling’s blame in order to protect them from feeling these emotions themselves. commonly, the scapegoat of the family will eventually be unable to manage their anger and act out in avoidance behaviors, often leaving town and not returning. so, yeah, this can be season 3/4 ian, or season 6 debbie or carl, but overall, this is lip in season 1. however, lip doesn’t often take the blame. fiona does. he and fiona share the hero and scapegoat role, and eventually share the addict role, but overall the scapegoat is lip. he acts out, purposefully gets into trouble, and is blamed. does he accept the blame? no, but he gets it. and he goes off to do his own shit often, when shit hits the fan he either fixes the problem or just leaves. lip can’t manage his anger. ever. it’s something he never learns how to do from season’s 1 through 11. he uses avoidance behaviors (such as drinking himself sick) and anger to cope with his family’s hardships.

the hero, is fiona. fiona is basically the definition of the hero, which is: the hero of the family is the one who is most controlling and often a perfectionist. by keeping up with personal goals, they feel they can provide their family with the illusion that everything will be okay. normally, the hero of the family is the first child, as they are the most likely to have a type a personality and feel as though they are a leader to their siblings. because of the position they put themselves in as a leader, they may experience extreme amounts of stress. and, become unable to manage their anxiety. that all screams fiona gallagher. she works multiple jobs, attempts to control everyone and everything in her life, and provides for her five siblings. she’s the firstborn child, and the youngest child literally refers to her as his mother on multiple occasions. she dropped out of high school for her siblings, and basically risked everything for them. they are her life.

the mascot, is carl. season 1 carl is sort of hard to characterize because he’s almost never a very serious character, hell, throughout the entire show he cries like three times. but that unseriousness kind of makes him fit into the role of the mascot. the mascot of a family is the person who may utilize humor to try to resolve tension during family arguments or drama. this may be due to the fact that they require approval from those who surround them due to their fragility. most commonly, the mascot of the family is the youngest sibling. basically, they use humor as a defence mechanism in order to not have to experience the negative emotions which may be brought about by addiction in the family. carl wasn’t the youngest sibling, but he was for about seven years, so it kind of counts. at least at this point it does. carl isn’t as aware as debbie is when it comes to the issues in the family, (1x08), and in the first (or second technically) scene, debbie tells carl he’s almost nine and needs to begin pulling his weight. he doesn’t take on the same understanding or responsibility as the rest of the siblings do, but there is a possibility that he understands and masks it by acting clueless. or, he simply is clueless. who knows. either way, if anyone’s going to be the mascot, it has to be carl.

the lost child, is ian. the lost child is a sibling who may not be as involved in family relationships as the others. this is due to the fact that they may not have shared as much family attention as the other siblings. typically, they’re the youngest or middle child. and, characteristically showcase behaviors like isolation and the inability to maintain lasting relationships as a result of addiction in the family. so, ian obviously does end up maintaining a lasting relationship, blah blah blah, but he literally doesn’t until like the last season so THAT DOESN’T MATTER. anyways. for like the entirety of ian’s adolescent years on the show (seasons 1-4), he is forgotten. he’s the stereotypical middle child, the least favorite, and forgotten. fiona never has to worry about him, monica is nowhere to be seen (but i made a post here that talks about their relationship that you should totally read), and frank hits him and simply doesn’t really give two fucks about him. ian isolates himself from the rest of his family, and rarely is actually at the house. he’s often with kash (a man in his fourties), or mickey or just doing his own thing. he becomes even more of the lost child later on (and eventually morphs into the scapegoat) but that’s irrelevant. ian’s hiding a big secret, ian is rarely home, the most attention ian probably ever gets out of frank is just getting hit or insulted. ian’s forgotten.

liam isn’t on here because he was so little in season 1. but much later on, he takes on the role of the lost child. if you want to know more about this/how the gallagher’s were based on actual people rather than just roles, read this article. i highly recommend it.

[valsarchives]

as it was - t.c (part 3)

requested. sorry for grammar mistakes!

face claim: lily-rose depp

part 1 | part 2

yourusername

liked by tchalamet, jacobelordi, aron.piper and 13,482,173 others

yourusername me and jimmyfallon might have a surprise for you tonight 👀

view comments

tchalamet aren’t you forgetting someone?

yourusername oh, am I? 🤭

ynmybaby I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS

jimmyfallon I think everyone is gonna thank me after this

yourusername 🫣

ynsbabygirl my girl looks so hot 🥵

timmytimmy Timothèe you’re so lucky my boy

more comments

“You’re still reading the comments?” Timothèe asked. His arms wrapped around you from behind, his head resting on your shoulder.

“Yeah. It’s good to see them after all this chaos.”

He sighed. “Y/n-”

“Hey. I know what you’re gonna say. Don’t.”

“But-”

“Look,” you turned around to see his beautiful face. “I never blamed you for this. So stop feeling bad. It’s over now, I barely get any negative comments.”

He looked at you for a long time before kissing you. “Alright, mon coeur.”

“We should get going tho. We’re gonna be late.”

He smiled. “Yeah, you’re right.”

fallontonight

liked by zendaya, florencepugh, tayrussell and 8,284,295 others

fallontonight Timothèe Chalamet is here with us again! We asked him all the questions you guys might want to know 👀 Tonight on NBC!

view comments

ynmyqueen I love how we thought Y/n will go to the show because of her post but Timmy attended instead

timmytimmy he looks so happy 🥹

yourusername love that smile

tchalamet ♥️

ynmybaby I hope you asked about all this happed for past few months Jimmy

timotheefan452 🥺🥺🥺

timmytim I’m so excited!

more comments

“So Timothèe, you don’t have to answer this if you feel uncomfortable but your fans are wondering about your relationship with Y/n L/n. Anything you want to share?”

He took a deep breath. “Yeah. You all probably know most parts we- mostly she had to deal with a lot of things. It was hard for both of us. I felt so devastated because she didn’t deserve to hear those horrible things they’ve said about her.”

“What did you guys do after the break up?”

“Well, I worked harder in order to keep myself busy. I don’t even know how could I stand being without her. I take a break from social media but I saw her posts. About herself, about her new film, about her life. I was so proud of her because she was so strong but I felt so bad because I couldn’t be there with her. The moment I watched her interview with vogue I knew I had to talk to her. I’m so glad she accepted it and here we are.”

“I’m so happy for you guys. I hope you two will never have to go through something like this again.”

“Me too. Thanks,” he smiled.

tchalametupdates

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tchalametupdates Timothèe Chalamet talks about how him and his girlfriend Y/n L/n met.

“I was fan of her works. She was literally my celebrity crush but I had zero hope for meeting her. […] I was working hard and I needed some time for myself. I went to Coachella with my friends and that’s where we first met. I think I used all of my luck in there.”

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ynandtimmy I love the way he smiles and giggles everytime he talks about Y/n.

timotea0 “Can you describe her with three words?”

“Oh no three words won’t be enough.”

“Come on try it!”

“Ok.. Strong, Caring.. and… this is gonna be so cheesy but Home.” 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

chalafan That was my favorite part 🤧

ynmybaby plss he is so in love with her I’m jealous

ynsbabygirl God I feel so single

timmytimmy I want what they have 😩

kissmeyn I need someone to love me the way Timothèe loves Y/n

timotheefan194 God, it’s me again…

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yourusername’s story

[writingjourney]

how it feels | cardinal copia x reader

summary: You've been struggling with your body image lately, Copia notices and tries to comfort you.

content: 2k words, emotional hurt/comfort, tw for body image issues, reader is gender neutral with no physical descriptions, established loving relationship, Copia is an absolute sweetheart angel baby.

This is absolutely self-indulgent, but I kept it very vague so that it’s as relatable as it can be. It’s more on the emotional side for sure but (I hope) still ends with a positive message. Please don't read this if you’re acutely triggered by negative self talk.

Ao3 link – Masterlist

It happens by chance.

You have been avoiding the big, ornate mirror in your room for a few days now, pretending to wear blinkers. If you weren’t sharing a bedroom with Copia, you might have covered it with a sheet. But this morning, as your love gets ready for work, humming to himself in the bathroom, you can’t find your habit. Panicked that you can’t immediately cover yourself, you start a frantic search and your gaze gets caught by the reflection of your hectic movements. Your eyes meet your full-length mirror image, not the small one you’re used to seeing in the bathroom, and it’s like looking at a stranger. For a second you’re in shock, wondering who this body you feel so unfamiliar with belongs to. But then you realise that it’s yours. Instead of walking away, your eyes focus on every single part of it and the vile thoughts that enter your brain meet you like old friends.

You know the image in your head, the view in the mirror and your real body are three separate things. You know that what you’re seeing is distorted by the pain and self-loathing you’ve been harbouring for the past week. And yet no rational thought fully settles in. They pass, they don’t even puncture the disgust you feel.

You startle when you feel two strong arm wrap around your midsection, when the smell of freshly-applied cologne hits your nose. Copia pulls you into his chest and it takes you every ounce of restraint not to flinch back, not to fight your way out of his arms and hide like a wounded animal.

“Hmm, you look beautiful today, amore,” he whispers, then stamps a wet kiss to your cheek. “You always do.”

The disconnect between his reaction and your own perception is enough to make you frown. Copia’s eyes widen, like he’s afraid he said something wrong. He stares at you in the mirror and he must see the tears that colour your eyes red.

“Car-"

You slip out of his grasp, in search for the habit. It sits on a chair next to the bed, waiting for you, your saving grace. But before you can pull it over your head, Copia takes your arm, gently holds it in his strong grasp.

“I need to get ready.”

“Something is wrong, amore,” he states. “You are upset.”

“I need to get dressed, Copia.”

He shakes his head vehemently, nearly dropping his red biretta. “Is it about last night? You said you were tired, too.”

“I know. I was.”

You truly were. But if you’re being honest, exhaustion was not the reason you were glad that he didn’t initiate anything last night. There is no way you would be able to let go right now, to allow yourself any pleasure.

 “I know, I have been busy lately, we did not have much time for… for intimacy.” His thumb rubs a slow circle over your wrist. “But that does not mean I desire you any less. Ti amo, ti desidero, con tutto il cuore. Always.”

His words caress the wounds on your soul. But even so they can’t heal them, not after you ripped them open for days. “I know.” You try to force out a smile. “It’s okay, really. You did nothing wrong.”

“Che cos’è? You are almost crying, amore. I don’t believe it. You don’t even say you love me back.”

You desperately want to, you wish you could find words for him. But instead you vaguely shrug, not sure what to tell him for fear of lying, of abusing his trust. You stare at his hand on your arm. Even though his grip is loose now the black leather of his gloves makes it look almost violent. As if he has the same thought he moves his hand down in favour of linking your fingers together. You wish he would just let it go, that his touch wouldn’t make it all worse, even with the leather as a barrier. How is he not repulsed, how would he willingly be close to you?

“Maybe I am a little upset,” you admit, finally.

“With me?”

His soft voice breaks your heart. You look up at him and see the insecurities plainly written on his face. Of course he assumes that he is the reason. Even now, after being together for so long, he is still so scared of messing up.

You squeeze his hand. “No, not with you. Never with you. I do love you back, so much.”

His shoulders visibly relax and he pulls his brows up into a pleading look. “Can I hug you?”

Despite feeling so ashamed, so miserably vulnerable, you nod. You cannot refuse him, no matter how scared you are of what his touch will do to you. So you wrap your arms around his neck, feel him sink into you. The fabric of his cassock is stiff, hiding the shape of his body and making you feel even more naked. His hands rest on your bare skin, the leather warm as his fingers spread over the small of your back. You feel his warm cheek on yours, the only true skin contact, his sideburns tickling when he nuzzles your neck with a deep sigh.

“Tell me why you are so sad, amore,” he whispers. “Help me understand.”

You know you would never have told him if you’d had to look at his face. But here, hidden in his embrace, your senses busy taking in his scent, his warmth, you feel infinitely safer. Completely filled with the affection you don’t feel like you deserve, you whisper your question. “Copia, do you think I’ve changed?”

He lets go just enough to look at you. “Changed how?”

You shrug, averting your gaze as you fiddle with the buttons just below his neck. “Changed… physically?”

“Your body?”

“Mhm.”

He frowns and you regret the question. This must seem so trivial to him, so pointless. He may not be able to see any changes, he may not even have payed attention, so swamped with work and more important things to worry about.

“I don’t think so,” he finally says. “Did I miss something? You did not get a haircut? New clothes?”

“No. No, that’s not what I mean.”

“What do you mean, amore?”

You fight back tears. Satanas, you feel pathetic, so embarrassed by the situation. How is he still asking? How is he not giving up and telling you to get a grip, that he needs to go to work? You cannot help but feel a bit crushed, undeserving of this love that he has for you, of his patience, all the comfort he offers. You wish you could love yourself like he loves you, be gentle and kind with your body.

Copia takes your chin between his fingers and gently tilts your head up. 

“You know I think you are bellissimo?” he asks. “That you are a gift, not only for my eyes but for my soul?”

You close your eyes, trying to let his words sink in. “Yes. Yes, I know.”

He clicks his tongue. “No, you forgot. I made you forget because I was so busy. I did not love you enough.”

You don’t have the heart to tell him that it’s not a lack of compliments or displays of affection, not when he seems so happy to have found a solution. How could you explain that you’re just messed up sometimes? Maybe it is unfair to let him try, to exploit his affections. You can’t let him think he’s lacking in any way.

“You did, you alway love me enough. You–“

“No, it is alright.” Copia shakes his head. “I will make it better, amore.”

His soft, plump lips press against yours. Before you can reciprocate, he moves them to your jaw, to your neck, featherlight touches that make you shiver. For as long as his body covers yours, they feel wonderful, but then he lets you go and you’re exposed again. Copia sinks down before you and his lips dance all over your chest, leaving a trail of black lipstick.

“So beautiful,” he whispers against your sternum. “Sono tanto fortunato.”

His words, as genuine as they may be, ring hollow. Your mind is telling you that he’s lying. That he can’t possibly mean any of it. He’s saying it because he has to, because he wants to cheer you up, because he is kind and generous like that.

“Tesorino, sei tutto per me. More than I could ever deserve.”

His hands trail down your sides as he kisses your belly, moving down to your navel. That’s when you tense up completely. You can’t take it, it’s like he’s trying to extinguish a flame by adding more fuel. His words, his kisses, his obvious display of his undying devotion, they are too heavy.

“Stop,” you say, barely able to breathe out the words. “Please.”

He looks up at you in utter confusion, chin resting against your stomach. “Amore?”

“I’m sorry,” you blubber out. “I’m so sorry, I don’t think I can do this right now.”

“Nonono.” He moves his hands up and down the backs of your thighs. “I am just trying to show you how beautiful you are. How much I adore you. We don’t have to do anything.”

“That’s not it. Its’ just…” You feel the first full tear rolling down your cheek. “I don’t think I can believe any compliments right now. They are wasted on me. You are wasted on me.”

You can practically see his heart break at your words and you cry silently – for yourself and for him. 

“What are you saying, tesoro?”

You know the question is rhetorical. He perfectly understands. “You deserve so much better, my love.”

He stands up and you watch as he takes off his gloves. With his now bare hands, he cradles your face, wipes the tears away. He’s too slow to catch them all and you wish he would not have to see you cry, he would not see you puffy and pathetic. But you are too weak to move, too weak to fight him when your whole body and your very soul are so desperate, so hungry for his love.

“Can you feel this?” he asks. “How my hands feel on you?”

You nod and he strokes your cheeks. He is so gentle, his fingertips massaging your skin like he’s trying to rub the sadness out of you.

“When I touch you, do you think about how it looks or how it feels?”

“How it feels.”

He brings his face closer, waits for you to flinch, to pull back. But you don’t. So he kisses you, firmly, tenderly, and beneath the salty tears you can taste his love for you.

Ever so patient, he doesn’t pull away. His lips linger, barely grazing yours, as he whispers against your mouth. “And when I kiss you, what do you think about, amore?”

“How good it feels.”

Copia smiles, a pained but beautifully heartbreaking smile. “What about when we make love? What do you think about then?”

“I think about how much I love you, how good you make me feel.”

“Me too. It’s all I think about when we’re together. But it is more of a feeling than a thought. You agree?”

Again, you nod and he nuzzles your nose, keeps his hands on your head. He pushes them into your hair, angles your head up just slightly so that he can kiss the tears from your cheeks. For the first time today you don’t want to leave your body, you want to stay exactly where you are.

“If you cannot believe my words, then maybe you can accept my affection? My love?” he asks. “Can you accept that it is not tied to your body but to all of you, even the things you cannot love about yourself?”

You take a shuddering breath. “I don’t know, Copia.”

“Let us try, amore. Let us try every day to love each other the best we can, sì? To focus on how good it feels?”

You hum in agreement and he hugs you again, pulls you so close that you barely even feel your body anymore, just him and what he does to you. Maybe you can accept his love, even if you are not always capable of understanding it. And maybe by loving him with all your heart you can find a way to extend that love to yourself as well. One day.

Thank you for reading! I hope you're feeling okay and that this story helped a little bit – and if not, my inbox is always open. Take care now, I love you, I like you. Get sleep, get well etc etc ♡

[underqualified-human]

Pomefiore + Octavinille: Siren S/O

→ Request: Hello, I love this book so much. Can we have a gn!/fem!siren!reader with Octavinelle and Pomefiore? Headcanon please. It’s fine if you don’t wanna or can’t, I just love sirens.

→ A/N: Fun fact: My Yuusona is actually half-siren so this was a super fun prompt! [wasnt sure which type of siren you wanted so I kept in sort of vague]

→ Warnings: no beta,

→ Fandom: Disney: Twisted Wonderland

→ Genre: Headcanons

→ Pronouns: They/Them

Vil Schoenheit:

Power couple, immediate power couple

Posts a bunch of pictures of you guys together on his Magicam account [if you’re okay with it]

Spends a bunch of money on wing/tail care products that you might need

Tries to use his charm on your sisters/family and they are having absolutely none of it lol

Is initially very curious about your singing but understands your apprehension completely

Adding on to the previous point he defends you against people that may have a negative view on sirens [earns him a few points with your sisters]

Rook Hunt:

Wants to hear you sing so much that it rivals Odysseus 

”You know you'll die right?” “It'll be worth it”

Knows you get a lot of compliments based on your looks, so he waxes poetically about your personality

Acts the exact same way around your sisters/family so you’ll have to stop them from killing him

Super into learning about how you care for your non-human appendages

Epel Felmier:

He lives in a semi-landlocked area so he doesn't think it’s that big of a deal

Super nervous about meeting anyone in your family

Won't admit it out loud but definitely wants to hear you sing

Gets a little defensive when he sees people getting too close to you in public

If you have to care for your wings he goes “Don’t worry I’ve dealt with chickens before!” then backtracks if you get offended

Azul Ashengrotto:

Power couple vibes but he's secretly dying on the inside whenever he's near you

Immensely insecure, please reassure him

Wants you to sing at the lounge but then remembers it makes people kill themselves :(

Has discussions about the ocean with you, even if he doesn't have many positive memories associated with it

He knows how important family can be, so he’s absolutely terrified to meet them. While the Pomefiore group doesn't know much about sirens, the mers do.

Please defend him if your sisters/family says something rude, he will not do so himself

Honestly kind of bad at caring for tails or wings since he only has tentacles, but he tries his best

Floyd Leech:

Knows what would happen if you sang but still wants you to do it anyway

Talks to you about random land stuff that he thinks is cool

Brags about you to anyone who will listen is close enough. It’s usually the basketball club

You introduced him to your family and like 5 more ships got sunk that day. They want you to bring him around more often

Isn’t all that good at helping you with tail/wing care, but he does try

Jade Leech:

Power Couple #2

If you guys walk down the hall students part like the red sea

Shares a bunch of information about land plants [mushrooms] with you. You have no choice but to listen, he won’t take no for an answer

Subtly uses the fact that he’s dating a siren as leverage when dealing with customers

Helps you groom your tail/wings

Gets along pretty well with your sisters/family. He knows that they could kill him, but he trusts you enough to not be afraid

Tagging: @angelchanisaweeb [requester]

[dearweirdme]

https://www.tumblr.com/dearweirdme/750270628226007040/what-is-your-opinion-on-gcf-tokyo-and-saipian-i

If Jk makes another GCF today and places footage of Tae and only tae under certain lyrics more than once would you say the same thing?

You forget that months before Jk made and posted his first GCF, he did a cover of a song and when he posted it, he asked that fans should pay attention to the lyrics because whenever he covers a songs or uses a song, he makes sure he understands what the lyrics mean. This is what Jk said and then a few months later he made his first GCF using Troy Sivan’s “There for you”. GCFT didn’t read to me as romantic on it’s own especially after i read the book and got to understand why jimin and Jungkook travelled together in the first place. Knowing that Jk is a lyrical genius, it all fell in place why he used that song in the GCF he made for Jimin. The lyrics talk about being there for someone and expecting the person to be there for u too and seeing as they travelled because they (especially Jimin) were going through a very hard time, it makes sense.

GCF saipan was where my head started to spin a little because again, remembering the fact that Jk is is concious of the lyrics and their meaning, it is foolish to think that he didn’t know what he was doing when he chose to place Jimin footage at particular lyrics not only once but twice. Someone mentioned that other members also appeared in parts of the song that had romantic lyrics, ofcourse. It was a romantic song with all 7 members so ofcourse they would appear there at certain points but wasn’t it kinda weird that even though he could place any other member or just b roll when those lyrics came up the second time he chose to place only footage of Jimin and the sky and the sea there? And you don’t even have to be a shipper or even a BTS fan to see that. And yes the content did have to be approved before he posted it on Youtube (like most other content they posted since they didn’t want to leave a negative digital footprint) but what matters here is Jk’s initiative. Just the fact that he thought of doing stuff like that means something and the fact that he intentionally never made another GCf for just a single member says alot. We literally have footage of RM asking him to make one of V if he wanted to get a ton of views but Jk didn’t. I think it is also special that GCF Tokyo is the only GCF JK made which wasn’t work. That was just him making memories and choosing to share those memories with the world and Jimin didn’t even know what Jk was planning to do with all the videos he was taking.

You and I know that if all of this was done for Tae instead of Jimin, you would have been singing a very different song now. Tae just mentioning that Jk sings him a particular song was enough to get taekookers in a frenzy even though no one said anything years ago when Jin said Jk would always come to him singing “i love you” in his ears. But i guess this wouldn’t mean anything to you and other taekookers because you don’t see jinkook as anything more than friends.

Hi anon!

Lyrics are up to interpretation, and you have no clue what those lyrics mean to Jk. Troy Sivan himself said the song was for his fans who stuck by him. So what if to Jk it’s about Jm sticking by him in a platonic way? You don’t know what goes around in his head. You also cannot deduce from his statement about lyrics if that is something that always applies. I’m not saying the trip wasn’t important to them, but it wasn’t a romantic trip and BH wouldn’t let Jk release a GCF about an actual relationship.

Lol.. I would totally swoon if Jk was to release a GCF with solely Tae (it will never happen). But at the same time I would know that it was company content and it would definitely not be Jk sharing his romantic relationship with everyone.

I think Jk’s GCF’s became something that wasn’t his intention (and that’s why he stopped). His for GCF wasn’t for Jm, it was for army. Jk does a lot of things and says a lot of things with army in mind. He wanted to share a piece of him and members that meant something to him. GCF Tokyo was the first because it was the forst time he (and Jm) did something that was outside of Army/BTS. I think that trip was very important to him because it made him feel a sense of freedom (😩) and a sense of independence. Traveling on that age is impactful. After that (and the success it had in fandom) I think BH encouraged him to do more, but it slowly became something that wasn’t his anymore.

Right now the history of Tkk and Jkk and GCF’s is very different from what it was when the first GCF was posted, I think comparing a hypothetical Tae GCF with the Tokyo GCF is therefore not really possible.

I am not a Tkkr because of one or two or several situations or instances that look 🤔. I am a Tkkr because of the way Tae and Jk interact mostly. You can take away any Tkk moment you want and it would probably not affect my thoughts much.. while I think it would be harder for Jkkrs to go without Rose bowl, the hicky (it’s a bite), and GCF, and all your numbers and dates stuff.

[nonexistent-introvert]

Seat Partners 3

Pairing: Miguel O'Hara x f!reader

Word Count: 1.5k

Content: Miguel being blunt, some apologies, and the overall study date. also flirty banter and Miguel letting his guard down

A/N: HELLO IM BACK. i wrote the front part like a month and more ago then continued it so if things dont connect as well im sorry, im kinda rusty when it comes to writing but ik if i procrastinated anymore ill never get back to writing. Also, idrk where im going with this series so... if anyone has any ideas...

part 1 part 2

   The one thing that both you and Miguel can agree on when it comes to the library is that the study corner seats were the best. Those seats faced a giant window that showcased the streets outside and if you stayed long enough, would be rewarded with the breathtaking views of the sunset. Miguel was pleasantly surprised to see you make a beeline for those seats, most people tend to prefer the seats that were situated in the middle of the library since it was closer to the books and more facilitated group study sessions. 

   “I don’t study anywhere else other than here. If these seats were taken then you would never see me in here.” You whispered to Miguel when you noticed his gaze. He chuckled, “It’s my favorite seat too.” he replied. “Good view and people can’t distract me here.” He added on. “Ok mr popular.” You teased. Miguel has his fair share of admirers who would admire him whenever he is in the same room as any of them. Some even seem to turn into complete mush when he’s around. Miguel had a strong presence, a presence that demanded people’s admiration and respect. You had a weaker presence, someone who wouldn’t be noticed at first glance so you had zero trouble when it comes to being distracted because of someone’s gaze on you. Miguel shook his head, refusing to argue with you as he pulled out his revision materials, eager to consolidate his learning for the week. The silence in the library especially at this section of the library where most people were studying alone and the overall atmosphere was enough to motivate you to start studying too. The heads buried in books, the sound of pages flipping, and the sound of pens moving against the table acted as a sort of peer pressure to get anyone to start studying. 

  Your first study session with Miguel started. The both of you would do your own things, his eyes would fall onto your work every once in a while to check up on you and give you a few nods of encouragement. You picked up your phone, using it to search something up when you felt Miguel’s gaze on you. “I’m not using my phone I swear! I’m just checking something.” You defended immediately, noticing the disapproving look in his eyes. “I haven’t even said anything yet.” He merely replied, glancing over your shoulder and to your phone. You pursed your lips at him, “Actions speak louder than words you know?” He gave you a small smile. “Just making sure,” He leans back into his own seat. “Did I not mention that I would be your Google? Ask me anything you aren’t sure of.” Miguel repeats his words from the earlier lessons. “It’s a stupid question, common sense.” You shrugged, writing down the information on Google. Miguel crossed his arms over his chest, “If it’s common sense then why did you have to google it?” Miguel meant to encourage you to ask him questions you had but it seemed to have had a negative impact on you instead. “I’m an idiot that’s why.” You replied without missing a beat. The usual humour and playfulness in your voice are non-existent. The grip on your pen tightened while you put in more pressure to write the next few words. Miguel pinched his nose bridge, realising that you had interpreted his words the wrong way. “Ay coño” He muttered under his breath. “I didn’t mean-” He turned to you, trying to explain himself only to be cut off by a sheer “Never mind.” He opened his mouth to make his stand known but closed his mouth, realising that you had long shut yourself off towards him, the small furrow in between your eyebrows was enough to tell him that you didn’t want to continue that conversation any longer. 

  The air between the both of you shifted after that, at least it did for Miguel. There was tension in the air that Miguel just couldn’t ignore, he was arguing with himself over the matter of if he should explain his words. The words in the textbook were a blur to Miguel when every sentence he read would be interrupted by his inner turmoil and the regret weighing on his shoulders. So instead, he just kept sneaking glances at you, trying to see if you were in a better mood now. 

   He let out a sigh, running his hands through his hair as he bent over to pick up his bag, knowing that he would just be wasting his time in the library until he cleared his name. Miguel quickly found what he was looking for, a small pack of grape-flavoured chewy candy that he knew you liked. The same ones he saw you sneakily eating in class, the smell of grapes lingering on your breath when you talked to him was enough to give you away. Miguel told himself that it was because he wanted to try it when he decided to buy it upon seeing it in the convenience store despite refusing your various offers of the candy. Deep down, Miguel knew it was because you liked it, and he knew that it would cheer you up. Although he hasn’t found a way to offer it to you yet, he had imagined the smile on your face when he would take the initiative to give it to you. Miguel carefully placed it onto the table, pasting a post-it note onto the candy packaging with a single word on it. “Sorry.” and a small hand-drawn sad face next to it. Miguel exhaled, giving himself encouragement as he leaned over to you again. Miguel gently nudged your shoulder and passed you the candy, quickly returning to his work to hide how nervous he truly was. 

  A smile quickly replaced the confusion on your face. “For what?” You asked, referring to the apology. Miguel’s face burned with a light flush, “The words sounded better in my head, sorry, I meant that you can ask me any questions. You don’t have to necessarily turn to Google.” he slowly trailed off, stuffing his hands into the black jacket that he was wearing. You noticed the discomfort he was feeling at that moment. “You’re tempting me with the candy, no eating in the library.” You reminded him. Miguel looked to his left and then to his right, he sat straighter up in his seat. “Just eat one, and I’ll cover you.” His eyes drifted to the ceilings, looking for any surveillance cameras. You chuckled at him, “Miguel O’Hara! What happened to you abiding by the rules?” You jokingly teased him, knowing that he didn’t indulge in your offers of candy in class. “Hurry.” He simply says, head turning in all directions to keep watch. 

    The sweet familiar taste of grapes in your mouth made you hum happily. You kept looking at Miguel, a small smile forming on your lips. Seeing the smile on your face seemed to lift the guilt off his heart. 

   “You’re staring.” You laughed at him as you chewed on the candy. Miguel snaps out of his daze, turning away from you and back to his textbooks. A faint blush tinted his cheeks. You leaned back on your chair, “Have one.” You offered once again. He clicked his tongue at you, “No thank you.” Miguel busied himself with his notes, still avoiding your gaze. “Why did you buy it if you’re not even going to try it?” You questioned him. Your eyes narrowed at him, “Unless… you were planning on giving it to me already?” Miguel’s eyes snapped to yours, his eyes widened as he snatched the candy from your hand. Miguel cleared his throat as he popped one candy into his mouth. “Why are you looking at me like that?” Miguel asked, noticing the amused look on your face. Your eyes slowly drifted to the surveillance camera. You snickered when you watched the colour drain from his face. 

   “You’re such a bad influence.”

   “It’s called having some fun.” You retorted. 

 =======

    “You’re awfully quiet,” Miguel muttered. You walked next to him, your eyes distracted by the city lights in Nueva York. “Mmm, drained. My brain’s fried.” He chuckled lightly, “But don’t you feel productive?” You shook your head, Miguel seemed more energized than usual, more relaxed, unlike him in class. “Why do you seem less grumpy?” His signature frown returned immediately, “I am not grumpy.” You rolled your eyes at him, “Please do not tell me studying energizes you.” “Feeling productive energizes me.” He corrects. “Workaholic, no lifer, nerd.” You call him names, and he simply chuckles.

    “I hate studying.” You told him. He hums, “Doesn’t take Sherlock to figure that out.” You shoved him lightly. “I can’t believe my first time studying with someone was with you, I never ever study with my friends.” You complained, he snickers. “Wow, I’m your first?” He gave you a teasing look.

   “Don’t make it sound weird.” Miguel bites back the smile on his face. “Well, I hope you had fun on our first- study date,” he announced. You looked at him, laughing sarcastically in his face. “This is the reason why you’re single, if this is what you consider a date, let me tell you, it's horrible.” He shrugs, “That’s what you say for now, but you will keep coming back for more.” he says confidently. 

[after-midnight-notes]

What Do People Assume About You? | General Tarot Reading, Pick-a-Card

Disclaimer! Tarot is for entertainment purposes only & not meant to dictate professional or medical advice.

relax & choose with your intuition ✨

━━━━━━━━━ ✉️ ━━━━━━━━━

Pile 1 | Dendritic Agate

Cards Drawn: The Star, Eight of Coins, King of Coins, Order (Moon in Virgo), Eight of Hearts (Sun), Eight of Hearts (Moon)

What’s really interesting in this pile is that the cards pulled for the position of the sun and the moon are literally the same card mirroring one another. You seem like the kind of person that doesn’t like to beat around the bush for practical reasons, meaning, you don’t feel the need to shield away vital aspects of your character from others. It’s like “well, why would I present myself as someone that’s different from who I actually am, that’s no way to make friends,” which is such a practical way to look at meeting people that it’s pretty endearing! So while you’re logical in your sincerity, you tend to be upfront and genuine which is something people feel gravitated towards. As well as this, you’re persistent and tend to see each of your agendas through to the end. Even when things get difficult, it’s like you also have a realistic approach to hopefulness and are thinking one step ahead. When disappointing things happen to you, you are able to honor both your emotional body and your logic to begin to dust yourself off and move forward. Now, persistence isn’t usually a pretty thing, so even when you are feeling down, as if something is unconquerable, people still look up to you and your ethics. They don’t have to see or feel all the hardships that you’ve had to overcome, they only see that you continuously succeed. This could cause some some people to view you as conceited or arrogant when in reality they aren’t seeing the whole picture of what actually goes into your accomplishments. If you were to ask me, I’d avoid those types of people, but at the same time they aren’t always upfront about their ill-feelings. Naturally, you are more reserved and modest with your emotions, but you’re still true to yourself in all that you do and know when it’s appropriate to share your emotions in an orderly fashion—because of this people find you quite genuine and kind, they can find themselves drawn to your sincerity since that emotional side of you is not so commonly shared with others. No matter what their opinions or you, it’s no question that people wonder about you. In your mysterious you’ve given them just enough to linger and imagine what’s really going on inside of your mind. All in all, I think you’re a proper gem :)

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Pile 11 | Carnelian

Cards Drawn: Page of Swords, Ace of Cups, Eight of Swords, Flattery (Venus in Gemini), Three of Spades (Sun), Seven of Hearts (Moon)

When people first meet you, they immediately are drawn in with your wit and charm. It’s like you ooze a particular friendliness that makes you easy to talk to, once people have found themselves finished with the conversation they will find themselves in awe of such a natural interaction. I think this could have been developed in your childhood/early adolescence as a form of ‘people pleasing’, and it probably started off as a way of observing people to get the best possible reaction from them. You also naturally had the gift of communication to begin with and wanted to ensure that people got the best possible impression from you. It’s also possible that you could use people as an external force to keep negative emotions at bay, and instead of listening to these uncomfortable sensations you’d much rather find a friend to spend time with. There’s nothing wrong with reaching out to people during times of need yet it seems like there’s a certain level of avoidance here that needs to be addressed. It could also be an unconscious decision to seek out activities to do during times of distress. Regardless, for as invested as you are in your social life, there is also give-and-take involved. Meaning that you tend to get in over your head when it comes to people, resulting in a fierce burnout that is completely unavoidable despite your efforts. It can come at inopportune times as well, making you come across as unreliable to others and prone to broken promises. Of course, I don’t think this is intentional on your part at all and you absolutely despise letting others down. Because you have the tendency to ignore your emotions at times when they are low, it accumulates to the point where you can’t ignore them anymore. You may be thinking to yourself that the people pleasing aspect of yourself is the root of your charm and conversational talent, but that couldn’t be farther from the truth. People see you and are drawn to you not because of your agreeability, but because you offer something fresh and new, a colorful and characteristic perspective. They are drawn to you because of your heart. The people that benefit from your tendencies to prioritize others above yourself wouldn’t put in that same amount of effort if asked to return it, so largely they are undeserving of your time. The people that are worth your time and energy are the ones that would be more than happy to see you commit to boundaries that would help to heal you.

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Pile 111 | Polychrome Jasper

Cards Drawn: The Lovers, The Star, The Fool, Decision (Mars in Gemini), Ace of Clubs (Sun), Ace of Spades (Moon)

When people think of you, they see someone who is very confident and carefree, perhaps a little childish, who loves to live in the moment and has an abundance of optimism and prosperity. In their eyes, nothing could ever go wrong for you, everything always ends up in place even if you are making reckless and hasty decisions. You’re able to take risks without ever feeling the weight of a consequence and you face everything with vivacious liberty. Some people might wonder how you’ve made it so long being as lighthearted as you are, especially when it appears as though you just march into whatever happens to be going on without a second thought or sweat. These people are able to think this way because on the inside you bottle it all up, trying to appear as nonchalant as possible. On the inside, it’s a careful process of calculation and purpose, a balancing act. There’s definitely a prevalent worry, whether it is about the future or bad luck that prefers to translate itself into an exact opposite: vivaciousness. You probably shy away from difficult topics and debates because you hate being the bearer of bad news. In most cases, when things get uncomfortable or difficult between other people, you’d much rather remain as clueless as most people paint you as to be as unaffected as possible. Despite this façade, you are actually quite dexterous, being somewhat of a “jack of all trades”. You’re quick-witted and passionate about your opinions even if others don’t see it often compared to the other side of you. The more you shy away from the argumentative aspects of yourself, it could come as a detriment. Quick decision making skills as well the natural inquiry to gather information makes you sharp, you think fast and hit even faster. Most people wouldn’t expect this from you, especially at first glance since they don’t see the need to assume much from your imaginative and vivacious personality. In fact, many people might write you off as unprofessional or immature due to the fact they can’t harmonize both aspects of themselves as well as you can. You have the ability to showcase that two seemingly contrasting aspects can coexist together harmoniously, seriousness and the not-so-serious, and you definitely make people take a double-take when you’re able to switch between being happy-go-lucky and astute, forcing people to know that you’re not one to underestimate.

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Pile 1v | Black Moonstone

Cards Drawn: The Hanged Man (Reversed), Seven of Wands, Judgement, Detachment (Venus in Aquarius), Nine of Spades (Sun), Queen of Diamonds (Moon)

The first thing I felt while shuffling for this pile was the sensation of gentle waves slowly pulling a rowboat back and forth—of course, the reason why the boat wasn’t being dragged off with the currents was because it was still steadily tied to a dock. This analogy especially feels fitting for this pile because you definitely seem like the kind of person that lies in wait and is overly cautious. People may consider you a homebody or anxious due to your long periods of inactivity. Your way of making friends is not standard, and you like to appear as ‘friendly’ without being too warm. This could be because of a hesitancy to become close to new people out of fear of the unknown or apparent judgement due to the fact that you’ve been told in the past that your mannerisms and habits are odd. You’re the kind of person that assumes the worst but hopes for the best, but mentally you gravitate more towards thinking and pondering the worse which lends a hand in your stagnation and apprehension towards change. If you aren’t 100% sure of a situation or person, it’s highly unlikely you’re willing to go out of your way (and comfort zone) to be around it. There’s quite a heavy level of shoving required to even get you to consider leaving your comfort zone, however there is another side to this coin as you are very tied and true to your moral code, even if others find it eccentric. Because of this, if certain occasions arise that fit into the description of your ethics, you would follow suit and see it through. Once the initial ‘shove’ is through, it slowly opens you up and allows new opportunities to trickle through slowly but surely. It could be possible that, on some level, you would like to be seen as someone outgoing and friendly while still remaining true to who you are. No matter what, you remain loyal to what you know to be right and wrong and base your actions off of this code intently. Due to your habit of long pondering, your morals are hard and fast, and they could be a reason why you take so much time making sure that you are as correct as possible. There wouldn’t be a time where you could simply disregard your moral code for anything. Where people read you wrong is that they assume you’re just not interested in making friends or being around others. You definitely have an inclination to just as anybody else would have as a social creature, you simply like to pick and choose your moments based on your comfort and you prioritize this over most things.

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[generic-sonic-fan]

Team Dark Week: Creation

Summary: After seeing some of the files regarding Shadow’s creation, Omega has something of his own to reveal. For @teamdarkweek.

1890 words, no content warnings

---

“A loud Omega is normal. A quiet Omega is a cause for great concern,” Rouge said as she filed her nails.

“You’re right. He hasn’t been acting like himself since viewing the files.”

“Yeah.”

“He thinks of me differently now, doesn’t he?”

Rouge looked up. “I wouldn’t think so. Why would he care about how you were born?”

“Created.” Shadow corrected. 

“Still. I don’t get how reading The Professor getting all weepy and emotional about you would piss him off. Unless his hatred of Robotniks is generational.”

“I shouldn’t have shown it.”

“Hey, look at me.” Rouge grabbed his hand. “You showed us for a reason. A damn good reason. Let me go talk to him, he might just be pissy about something stupid that’s entirely unrelated.”

“I doubt that.”

Rouge finished filing the nail she was on, before leaving the filing board on the countertop and disappearing into the hallway. She returned with Omega behind her. 

“So what’s got you all snippy, hmm?” She asked him.

“I AM NOT ‘SNIPPY’.” 

“You haven’t said very much since we got back.”

“I REQUIRED TIME TO PROCESS THE INFORMATION SHADOW HAS GRANTED US.”

“Did it anger you?”

“NEGATIVE.”

Shadow and Rouge glanced at each other. 

“YOU SHARED THE CIRCUMSTANCES OF YOUR CREATION SO THAT WE MAY, QUOTE, ‘HELP YOU REMEMBER’.” 

“I did.” Shadow replied.

“WHY WOULD YOU WANT US TO SEE A TIME WHERE YOU FOOLISHLY DID NOT HATE YOUR CREATOR?” 

Shadow took a deep breath. “Because it’s part of who I am. His initial kindness to me and his reason for creating me are things I don’t wish to forget.”

Omega paused. Instead of saying anything more, he turned around and stomped back to his room.

—

At 10:00 PM, Omega yelled “TEAM MEETING.” 

Shadow opened his bedroom door to see Omega standing in the doorway of his own room. Rouge emerged from her room with her headphones around her neck.

“What’s up, Omega?” She asked.

“THERE IS SOMETHING,” Omega paused. His cooling fans whirred higher. “I WISH TO SHOW YOU.”

“Alright.” Shadow replied. 

Omega beckoned them into his room with his hand. It was strange to see him use a gesture instead of words. His room was bare, as usual, with the exception of his power cord and his desktop computer. A data cable snaked out of one of the computer’s ports. Shadow didn’t think Omega owned one, given his distaste for having his processor accessed. 

Omega took the data cable and plugged himself in. The screen’s nuclear explosion background was overtaken by the scrolling data of Omega’s processor. Segments of the data began aligning, until a video player formed on screen. 

“What are you going to show us?” Rouge asked.

“WATCH.”

---

REPLAYING MEMORY LOG _001. . .

---

“Isn’t it magnificent?”

Dr. Ivo Robotnik stood five feet forward, gesturing behind himself in front of two smaller robots, one yellow and one red. 

“Yes, it truly is, master!” The red one crooned.

“I don’t know, seems to be missing a chin, if you ask me.” The yellow one put his hand on his own mentioned appendage. 

“It doesn’t need a chin, you dolt!” Dr. Ivo Robotnik stepped forward and backhanded the faceplate of the yellow one.

The force of contact between the flesh of his hand and the metal of the yellow robot’s chassis was not enough to fracture any bones, but it was enough to burst small blood vessels close to the surface of his epidermis. This constituted an “injury”. It was forbidden for any Badnik to injure its creator. Such insolence must be punished immediately!

Unit E-123 marched forward and snatched the yellow robot by the throat. He quickly calculated that the position of his claws was ineffective for a target that did not require respiration. Unit E-123 had not been programmed to destroy robots beyond information on the basic tolerances of metal plating. He created a new folder in his programs and began compiling data for the possibility, before-

“Hahaha! No need, E-123. Put him down.”

Unit E-123 released his grasp, and the yellow robot fell to the ground before floating away at what he calculated to be the maximum speed it could achieve with its thrusters. The red robot also activated its thrusters and traveled a similar direction. 

“See that?” Dr. Ivo Robotnik came beside Unit E-123’s extended arm. “That lethality? That obedience? Truly I’ve outdone myself this time.”

Dr. Ivo Robotnik placed his gloved hand on Unit E-123’s arm and pressed downwards. Unit E-123 understood the implicit command and returned to a neutral position. He swiveled his head and tilted his optics up to observe Dr. Ivo Robotnik’s face. 

“I certainly solved the particular set of problems that bubbled up from the previous of its series!” Dr. Ivo Robotnik grinned. “Not to mention fit the most superior firepower of my entire army within a single chassis!”

Dr. Ivo Robotnik strolled around Unit E-123’s frame, scanning his eyes up and down. Unit E-123 followed with his optics. 

“Heh, respectful, too! Keeping eye contact, ready to receive any order. Although we’ll see how that changes when its short-term adaptive processing calibrates and we start getting some more intelligent thought up there. . .”

Dr. Ivo Robotnik turned and interfaced with the computer.

“Oh! Seems to have finished calibrating a few minutes ago. In that case,” Dr. Ivo Robotnik whirled around and clasped his hands together, “hello, my creation! Status report?”

“Systems fully operational.” Unit E-123 reported. He then considered his next words for longer. He was a magnificent, superior robot. He should not reply with a basic status report. That was unbefitting of his actual status, evidently!

“Good, good.”

“Status: superior.” E-123 elaborated further. 

“Ha, it even knows!” Dr. Ivo Robotnik said to the red and yellow robots cowering near the door. 

“Indeed,” the red one ventured forward the equivalent of one of Dr. Ivo Robotnik’s strides, “you are quite superior, Unit E-123! You will do the Empire proud.”

“You’re going to get Sonic real good.” The yellow one nodded as well. 

Unit E-123 fired all of its scanners- visual, audial, tactile, chemical, and chaos radiation -to search for any sign of Sonic upon his mention. He found none. The yellow robot must have been referring to the wretched enemy in the hypothetical, a possibility he had not considered before in verbal interactions until now. Unit E-123 noted this for future reference. 

“Ohohoh, if Sonic tries to interfere with the Subject, he’s going to be in for a nasty surprise.”

“This unit will eradicate him!” Unit E-123 affirmed.

“Yes! Yes, you will!”

“He will not withstand the firepower of this unit’s arsenal!”

“Why, you’ll blow him away! There won’t be even a smear of blue left on the wall once you’re done with him.”

“I WILL SHOW HIM MY SUPERIORITY!”

“Augh, not so loud, not so loud,” Dr. Ivo Robotnik lowered his hands from his ears. “While I love your enthusiasm, you’re going to damage my hearing.”

Unit E-123 lowered the volume settings of his voicebox, and to ensure that he would never make such a mistake again, he knit together a program that would create a warning message should he ever be tempted to raise the volume high enough to damage Dr. Ivo Robotnik’s hearing. He patched it over the software that interfaced with his voicebox. 

“Now, speaking of hearing loss, allow me to grab my earmuffs and we’ll head out to the firing range to see how you do.”

Dr. Ivo Robotnik walked to the nearest counter and began searching the drawers, grumbling the phrase “now where did I put them?” as he did so. 

“Drawer label #12, beneath one layer of processed wood pulp.” Unit E-123 pointed to where his scanners had identified the location. 

Dr. Ivo Robotnik opened the identified drawer and retrieved the personal protective equipment. He then smiled back in the direction of Unit E-123. “Well aren’t you just perfect!”

“Affirmative, I am.”

But instead of affirming, Dr. Ivo Robotnik frowned. “Let’s correct that little slippage before it starts to become a problem. You are to refer to yourself as ‘this unit’.”

“Affirmative.”

“‘Affirmative, Master.’”

“Affirmative, Master.”

“Good!” 

---

END OF MEMORY LOG _001

---

Omega unplugged himself from the computer and the video disappeared from the screen.

Shadow was the first to speak. “I have never seen the doctor behave that way.”

“YOU ARE NOT TO SHARE THIS INFORMATION. IF YOU DIVULGE ANY INFORMATION PERTAINING TO THIS MEMORY LOG TO ANOTHER INDIVIDUAL, I WILL KILL YOU.”

“We won’t tell. Of course we won’t tell.” Rouge patted Omega’s forearm. “Your secret’s safe with us.”

“GOOD. COMMENCING DELETION PROCESS. . .”

“Hey, wait a minute. You’re not deleting that, are you?” Rouge said.

“NOW THAT YOU HAVE WITNESSED THE FILE, YOU WILL ‘HELP ME REMEMBER’. STORAGE OF THE FILE IS NOW UNNECESSARY.”

“”That’s not-” Shadow balled his fists.

“Omega, you can’t just delete your own memory.” Rouge said.

“HOW DO YOU INTEND TO STOP ME?”

“I’m not going to stop you- I’m just going to tell you that you really shouldn’t do it.”

“YOU HAVE THIRTY SECONDS TO ARTICULATE YOUR ARGUMENT.”

“Because it’s part of who you are. You can’t just run away from the bad things that have happened to you. Deleting this is just going to bite you in the ass later when you get the feeling you’re forgetting something you really should remember.”

“THERE IS NO VALUE TO REMEMBERING THIS REVOLTING EXCHANGE.”

“Well sure, you could hate the man without really knowing him, but remembering a time when he wasn’t a complete self-serving fool helps you hate him even more.”

“YOUR ARGUMENT IS FALSE! MY HATRED FOR EGGMAN WILL NOT BE AFFECTED!”

Shadow stepped in. “Keeping this memory will remind you how far you’ve come.”

“Yeah, you were able to get around all of the fawning the doctor programmed you with! That says more about how strong you are than almost anything else.”

“MY KILL COUNT BEGS TO DIFFER.”

“Strong internally,” Rouge flew up and knocked on his head plating, “which is not something a lot of people could say about themselves.”

Shadow met Omega's optics, stared at the flicker of intelligence behind the glass. “I couldn’t have done what you did.”

Rouge landed. “Hey, knock that off.”

“It’s the truth.”

“YOU DEFIED THE INTENT OF YOUR CREATOR ABOARD THE SPACE STATION ARK.”

“I had Maria.” The room went silent as he said her name, as it always did. “I couldn’t have done it without my memory of her. You had no one but yourself.”

Omega’s frame went still, and his optics defocused. 

“That makes you stronger than I am.” Shadow finished.

Rouge came beside Shadow, waiting and watching for Omega’s next response. She parted, however, when Omega abruptly walked towards the door of his room. 

Before he left, he turned his head over his shoulder. “I AM GOING TO THE TARGETING RANGE.”

“They’re probably closed by now.” Rouge replied.

“THEY WILL NOT BE CLOSED IF THEY WISH TO KEEP THEIR SPINES INTACT.”

“They probably aren’t closed, then.” She snickered. “Let me get dressed and I’ll come with.”

“NEGATIVE.”

“Think about what I’ve said.” Shadow crossed his arms. 

“I WILL NOT COMMENCE THE DELETION TONIGHT.” 

He left. Shadow followed him out into the hall and watched as he shut the apartment door behind him. 

“Do you think he was lying?” Rouge said.

“He trusts us.”

"Seems he does.”