#i love his vernon dursley

[padfootswhiskers]

interesting that the dursleys+harry actually stayed in cokeworth while on the run from the hogwarts letter

[theonceandfuturequeenoftarts]

Masturbation has always been a bit of a challenge for Harry.

Deeply ingrained self-hatred and its effects on his libido aside, he rarely gets any privacy. In or out of his mind.

Wanking at the Dursleys' always seems like an exercise in futility. Even if he ever felt good enough to get in the mood there, the likelihood of someone hearing and yelling (Vernon), taunting (Dudders), or sending him disgusted looks (Petunia. Well, probably all three) made it undesirable.

At Hogwarts, living in close proximity to four other hormonal boys should extend some sort of ‘anything goes’ allowance over the entire dormitory. But he’s too aware of what it sounds like and how he feels to hear the others engaging in some self-loving to want to subject anyone else to it. He learns an abundance of silencing charms and employs them when he does manage to toss off. 

But really – concerns that someone will either attack him or drug him, depending on the shifting approbation of the magical world, make using the charms less appealing. If someone’s going to try to assault him, he wants to at least hear them coming. 

“You’re a mess, Harry Potter.”

And then there’s the most recently added complication.

He knew – he’d been made painfully aware – that Voldemort could invade his mind last year, with dire consequences. Harry supposes he’d been lulled into a false sense of security, not having an unwanted visitor for the last eleven months.

“Do you have some sort of alarm for when I’m trying to have a wank?” Harry sighs frustratedly. This is the third time the bloody Dark Lord has interrupted him this week. The previous times, he’d just given up trying to get off, thoroughly repulsed. But this time… “Don’t you have better things to do?”

“Better than ruining your day? I always have time for that, Harry Potter,” Voldemort smirks. He can’t see it, but he knows the snakey git is smirking.

“You get that it’s weird to interact with a teenager in a sexual way like this, yeah? If they’d ever proven to be useful before, I feel like I'd need an adult.”

“I am an adult.”

“You’re the wrong kind of adult.”

Whatever. So Voldemort is lurking in his head, so fucking what. At this point, it’s an act of rebellion. He’s going to get his fucking rocks off if it’s the last thing he does. 

“Good luck with that.”

Ugh.  

(no helping hand)

[oxydiane]

The first time Harry unwraps a birthday present that doesn’t make him want to cry after uttering a tight lipped ‘thank you’ he is nine.

He is turning nine and not waking up in the cupboard under the stairs. He is turning nine and doesn’t have to watch over Dudley’s bacon on the stove and bite his lip as he watches Aunt Petunia scoop a much more abundant portion of eggs in his cousin’s plate. He is turning nine and the carefully wrapped box in front of him is much bigger than anything he had been allowed to keep in his cupboard.

Sirius Black sits in front of him, a nervous smile on his face.

It seemed to be a default for his godfather, Harry thinks. That’s the same nervous smile he had sported when he showed up at Privet Drive announcing he was taking Harry away.

Harry had hidden behind the door, then, quietly listening to Sirius explain his name had recently been cleared and he was Harry’s rightful guardian. He used a lot of big words, explaining carefully as if he had prepared a speech ahead, as if he had got ready for a fight.

He doesn’t need to fight anyone, the Dursleys are all-too-eager to give him away.

Harry packs all his belongings in record time, there hadn’t been much anyways, and he walks out of Privet Drive, number 4 hand in hand with his godfather.

He walks out of Privet Drive, number 4 for the last time and that had felt like a dream come true already.

‘So? Aren’t you going to open it?’ Sirius asks, pushing the gift towards Harry.

Harry nods. ‘Thank you.’

‘No need to thank me already, you haven’t even opened it,’

Harry blinks, confused. Aunt Petunia didn’t like it when he wouldn’t thank them for each thing he was given, from Dudley’s worn out socks to the broken clothes hanger he had unwrapped on his sixth birthday. But Sirius wasn’t Aunt Petunia.

He scratches the tape on the side of the box, careful not to ruin the wrapping,

A surprised sigh escapes his mouth when he sees what looks like a box of LEGOs. It was a big box too, and he knew LEGOs were expensive. But after a second look he realises that it had nothing to do with the bright red toys Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon would buy Dudley, because the pictures on this box moved and bright gold letters spelled out ‘Build Your Own Quidditch Pitch!’

‘I didn’t really know what you’d like,’ Sirius speaks to fill in the silence, he scratches the back of his head with one hand looking rather bashful. ‘I know you probably don’t know much about Quidditch, but your dad loved it, so I thought—‘

‘My dad loved it?’ Harry bites his tongue when he realises he’s interrupted his godfather. He didn’t want him to be annoyed or mad at him but the mention of his dad, and to know what he loved—

‘Yeah, his room used to be full of these gimmicks,’ he says fondly and Harry breathes a sigh of relief, because Sirius wasn’t mad he had interrupted him.

He looks back down at the box, the golden letters and moving figures flying all over the cover. His dad used to love this? He was holding something that his dad used to love.

He doesn’t notice it, the way tears start welling up his eyes, at least not until Sirius stands up looking alarmed.

‘Shi— I’m sorry, I’m sorry, you don’t like this? It’s okay, we can go out and you can choose anything you want as a special birthday treat, okay? We can throw this away—‘

‘No!’ Harry is shocked by how loud his voice is. His arms wrap protectively around the big box on the table and he shakes his head violently. ‘I love it!’

Sirius seems to calm down at once, and Harry feels his hand gently rest against his head and twist his hair.

‘Alright, I’m happy you liked it, sprong,’

‘Loved it!’ Harry insists, eyes still wet.

‘I’m happy you loved it.’

Harry relishes in the soft touch, something he was still trying to get accustomed to.

He was nine years old, and he got a birthday present.

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

Do you think Tom was the only student Dumbledore hated? I think Tom probably isn't the only Unfavorite Student and there are more out there that Dumbledore was successful at sabotaging.

(Side thought do you think Moody started out on Dumbledore's bad list but then worked very hard to "redeem" himself by trusting Dumbledore in all things and that's why he's so weirdly loyal to Dumbledore?)

Dumbledore and Hating People

The thing is that Tom Riddle does seem to hold a special place in Dumbledore's heart.

There are other characters we see who are also loathsome/have qualities that Dumbledore despises but it's in different ways/not to the same degree.

Dumbledore utterly loathes Lockhart, purposefully sets him up with the job so as to either destroy his reputation fundamentally or kill him. However, I'd say Dumbledore is contemptuous and dismissive of Lockhart. Dumbledore has 0 interest in the man beyond destroying him, and doesn't spend much time thinking about him beyond getting him in the castle and letting the curse do its work.

Dumbledore is dismissive and contemptuous of Cornelius Fudge, but again, doesn't focus on him much beyond pitying his shortsightedness and holding him in general contempt.

Dumbledore similarly doesn't love the Dursleys but it feels like that's in a way of he has 0 opinion or interest in Vernon and just... a very weird treatment of Petunia. I wouldn't even say he dislikes them, in fact, I think he likes the idea of them beyond the general disappointment in not treating Harry exactly the way he'd like (except they are doing that but he'll never say as much).

While we don't know that Dumbledore doesn't have stashes of memories he's painfully collected over the years, going to anyone who ever interacted with Tom Riddle and asking "please give me every memory you have ever had" only for the vast majority of them to slam the door in his face, given the focus he has on Tom Riddle it seems... unlikely...

Add this in with Tom's "dark glamour", the way Dumbledore talks about him, the way he pontificates about him as if he's a fictional character and Dumbledore is writing fanfiction and metas about the man, and we're looking at a... I'll call it a fixation where Tom hit all the right buttons for Albus Dumbledore in a way that other people just haven't.

Basically, the people we see Dumbledore hate just aren't hot enough (or are women so Dumbledore doesn't care).

I'll put it this way. Harry's easily Dumbledore's second fixation, he puts a lot of work into this boy, but Dumbledore's way less... into him is the only way I can put it, than Tom. Harry's there as a vehicle/means to destroy Tom and acts as a foil to Tom. Everything about Harry for Dumbledore is presented as "in contrast to Tom Riddle" and that's telling to me.

As for hating students...

I think most of the time Dumbledore just doesn't give a fuck.

With Draco who was actively endangering the student body, nearly killing several students to ultimately kill Dumbledore, and ultimately letting Death Eaters (including Fenrir fucking Grayback) into the castle where it's a miracle no one died/got lycanthropy Dumbledore was into it and a) knew the whole time b) did nothing to stop it because then Tom would hurt Draco. (It's too bad Katie Bell got cursed for six months in the process of that huh Dumbledore or you didn't approach Draco with that offer to give him clemency until the last five minutes of your life).

I doubt Dumbledore knows who Crabbe and Goyle even are.

And he seemed to favor the Marauders (rampant known bullies) and not care about Severus at the time and now thinks quite highly of Severus for having redeemed himself for love/following a narrative Dumbledore likes while also being unable to not do what Dumbledore wants.

He only cares about Ron and Hermione in relation to Harry and just likes the general idea of them (Dumbledore is very big on the "idea" of people).

Dumbledore and Moody

I don't think so.

We've seen the redemption story Dumbledore likes and that's Severus Snape's. Dumbledore likes a narrative, Moody having been disliked then just choosing to be a sycophant would be very unimpressive for Dumbledore because he'd see no reason for Moody to have changed/not an impressive enough reason.

It has to be for true love, friendship, some reason that is a compelling narrative to Dumbledore.

Everything for Dumbledore fits into these narratives from Merope dying in childbirth (she just didn't love enough), to Lily being murdered (she loved her son so much she sacrificed herself), to Snape (his love for her means he is now undyingly loyal to her son), to everything.

Plus, I don't get that feeling about Moody.

Dumbledore has plenty of people unquestioningly loyal to him, he cultivates the Order such that this is the case, it's not so much that Moody's an outlier for being so loyal but the fact that he is in the Order of the Phoenix at all means he must be this loyal to survive there (notice Percy is not a member). In the Order we're seeing the people who survived the litmus test of "actively not questioning Dumbledore in any decision he ever makes" (see HBP and the Christmas Party and shooting down of Harry's "Draco's up to something and Snape is too" for reasons that are simply "I trust Dumbledore completely" and nothing else).

If Moody wasn't like that, he wouldn't be in the Order.

So, I think Moody's just like the rest of them and I don't see a reason why he would have ever been different.

[hollowed-theory-hall]

Hello! I have seen this question debated many times and I wanted to know your take on it cause I find your theories very compelling. Do you think harry should've been in Slytherin? Does he have what it "takes" to be a Slytherin? Is it because of voldemort's soul in him that lead the sorting hat to even suggest he could be in Slytherin? I know this is not one question but I would like to know your opinion on this topic in general!

First of all, thank you for the kind words! 😊

As for the questions, well, you've asked more than one question, but this ask kinda gives me a good reason to talk about how Harry isn't some golden Gryffindor. He actually has some anger issues and he most definitely has what it "takes" for Slytherin.

I'll start with the last question and then go backward, actually.

Did the hat consider Slytherin house just because of the Horcrux?

I don't think so.

I mean, Harry is incredibly clever, magically powerful, and has a cunning streak a mile wide all on his own. I'd actually go as far as to say he's more cunning, ruthless, and resourceful than many of the Slytherins we see in the books. So his own traits definitely are in line with a Slytherin sorting, Horcrux or no Horcrux.

We can try and discern if the Horcrux has an effect on Harry's personality then, and if its influence is seen like that. I'd say that I don't think so either.

Tom and Harry, while they have their similarities, are very different people. They both have a bad temper (although they react to anger differently), but Harry has low self-esteem whereas Tom thinks he is the best (while still hating himself). They're both stubborn, but Tom is much more obsessive than Harry in pursuit of his goals. Harry cares for justice and isn't willing to hurt innocents, Tom doesn't really care about any of that he cares for efficiency. If the Horcrux was influencing Harry's personality, I'd expect to see more similarities between them that go deeper than that.

So, I don't think the hat only offered Slytherin because of the Horcrux. Harry is a Slytherin in his own right.

Does Harry have what it "takes" for Slytherin?

So, I honestly got really excited at the sight of this sentence. See I love Harry, that's no secret. But one of the things I love about him is that he isn't the perfect noble hero. He can be angry, and cruel and ruthless. But he has a sense of justice, he wouldn't wish harm on someone innocent, but someone who did harm to him, or was mean to him or someone he cares for... then Harry can be terrifying when he wants to be.

So, now I'm going to go through some (I have so many more examples of this, and the examples here are mostly books 1-5 since that's what I had on hand) of my collection of quotes showing Harry Potter's vindictiveness and anger.

Harry's response to "have a good summer" at the end of his first year:

“Oh, I will,” said Harry, and they were surprised at the grin that was spreading over his face. “They don’t know we’re not allowed to use magic at home. I’m going to have a lot of fun with Dudley this summer.…

(PS, page 221)

This is Harry's (very justified) vindictiveness we see towards the Dursleys many times in the books. He uses the idea of magic to scare them and is gleeful at the thought of Dudley's fear. Harry is very much chill with vengeance.

“…He likes to keep in touch with me, though . . . keep up with my news . . . check if I’m happy. . . .” And, grinning broadly at the look of horror on Uncle Vernon’s face, Harry set off toward the station exit, Hedwig rattling along in front of him, for what looked like a much better summer than the last.

(PoA, page 435)

Same as above, just Sirius Black as the threat instead of magic.

Yes, thought Harry, that looked all right. There was no point putting in the dream; he didn’t want it to look as though he was too worried.

(GoF, page 25)

Harry can and does lie and conceal information, even from people he trusts (like Sirius) if he thinks it'll be better not to tell them something. Whether that is for his own image or for what they would think.

“Potter! Weasley! What are you doing?” It was Professor McGonagall, and her mouth was the thinnest of thin lines. “We were — we were —” Ron stammered. “We were going to — to go and see —” “Hermione,” said Harry. Ron and Professor McGonagall both looked at him. “We haven’t seen her for ages, Professor,” Harry went on hurriedly, treading on Ron’s foot, “and we thought we’d sneak into the hospital wing, you know, and tell her the Mandrakes are nearly ready and, er, not to worry —” Professor McGonagall was still staring at him, and for a moment, Harry thought she was going to explode, but when she spoke, it was in a strangely croaky voice. “Of course,” she said, and Harry, amazed, saw a tear glistening in her beady eye.

(CoS, page 259)

And he clearly can lie well, even at 12.

But Harry wasn’t going to stand for this. Gone were the days when he had been forced to take every single one of the Dursleys’ stupid rules. He wasn’t following Dudley’s diet, and he wasn’t going to let Uncle Vernon stop him from going to the Quidditch World Cup, not if he could help it. Harry took a deep, steadying breath and then said, “Okay, I can’t see the World Cup. Can I go now, then? Only I’ve got a letter to Sirius I want to finish. You know — my godfather.” He had done it. He had said the magic words. Now he watched the purple recede blotchily from Uncle Vernon’s face, making it look like badly mixed black currant ice cream.

...

He stopped there to enjoy the effect of these words. He could almost see the cogs working under Uncle Vernon’s thick, dark, neatly parted hair. If he tried to stop Harry writing to Sirius, Sirius would think Harry was being mistreated. If he told Harry he couldn’t go to the Quidditch World Cup, Harry would write and tell Sirius, who would know Harry was being mistreated. There was only one thing for Uncle Vernon to do. Harry could see the conclusion forming in his uncle’s mind as though the great mustached face were transparent. Harry tried not to smile, to keep his own face as blank as possible. And then — “Well, all right then. You can go to this ruddy . . . this stupid . . . this World Cup thing.

(GoF, page 33)

Again, vindictiveness and manipulation of Vernon through fear. Not only that, but Harry can keep his calm and keep his face blank even at 14 for the sake of getting something he wants.

“Get stuffed, Malfoy,” said Harry. “C’mon, Ron. . . .” “Oh yeah, you were staying with them this summer, weren’t you, Potter?” sneered Malfoy. “So tell me, is his mother really that porky, or is it just the picture?” “You know your mother, Malfoy?” said Harry — both he and Hermione had grabbed the back of Ron’s robes to stop him from launching himself at Malfoy — “that expression she’s got, like she’s got dung under her nose? Has she always looked like that, or was it just because you were with her?” Malfoy’s pale face went slightly pink. “Don’t you dare insult my mother, Potter.” “Keep your fat mouth shut, then,” said Harry, turning away.

(GoF, page 204)

Harry has a bark (all of the above quotes are Harry having a bark). He can and does shoot back as good as he gets.

Harry isn't all bark though, he's got a bit. Harry's anger is palpable and so very real and I love seeing it:

just as Uncle Vernon burst out of the dining room, his trouser leg in bloody tatters. “COME BACK IN HERE!” he bellowed. “COME BACK AND PUT HER RIGHT!” But a reckless rage had come over Harry. He kicked his trunk open, pulled out his wand, and pointed it at Uncle Vernon. “She deserved it,” Harry said, breathing very fast. “She deserved what she got. You keep away from me.”  He fumbled behind him for the latch on the door. “I’m going,” Harry said. “I’ve had enough.”

(PoA, page 30)

Again, Harry has his vindictive strike. (Obviously, Marge had it coming, but that's also what Harry is thinking).

A boiling hate erupted in Harry’s chest, leaving no place for fear. For the first time in his life, he wanted his wand back in his hand, not to defend himself, but to attack . . . to kill.

(PoA, page 339)

“You killed my parents,” said Harry, his voice shaking slightly, but his wand hand quite steady.

(PoA, page 341)

Harry, at 13, was fully willing to kill who he believed led to his parents' deaths. And more:

So what if he had to kill the cat too? It was in league with Black. . . . If it was prepared to die, trying to protect Black, that wasn’t Harry’s business. . . .

(PoA, page 342)

He's willing to kill Hermione's cat if it stands in his way.

Harry stood there, feeling suddenly empty. He hadn’t done it. His nerve had failed him. Black was going to be handed back to the dementors.

(PoA, page 343)

Harry Potter, at 13, laments that he didn't have the nerve to kill Sirius himself. He thinks he should've killed himself. He sees it as a failure that justice would be served by someone other than him.

Harry sat there staring at Snape as the lesson began, picturing horrific things happening to him. . . . If only he knew how to do the Cruciatus Curse . . . he’d have Snape flat on his back like that spider, jerking and twitching. . . .

(GoF, page 300)

Harry felt oddly separate from everyone around him, whether they were wishing him good luck or hissing “We’ll have a box of tissues ready, Potter ” as he passed. It was a state of nervousness so advanced that he wondered whether he mightn’t just lose his head when they tried to lead him out to his dragon, and start trying to curse everyone in sight.

(GoF, page 347)

The above quotes are both situations Harry was willing and wishing to curse people. Even Crucio Snape. He's not as noble and righteous and golden as many fans and characters in the books make him out to be...

If Dudley’s friends saw him sitting here, they would be sure to make a beeline for him, and what would Dudley do then? He wouldn’t want to lose face in front of the gang, but he’d be terrified of provoking Harry. . . . It would be really fun to watch Dudley’s dilemma; to taunt him, watch him, with him powerless to respond . . . and if any of the others tried hitting Harry, Harry was ready — he had his wand . . . let them try . . . He’d love to vent some of his frustration on the boys who had once made his life hell —

(OotP, page 11)

And sometimes, Harry wishes for an excuse to fight. An excuse to take his anger out on someone. (He has a lot of anger in him)

Smirking all over his pointed face, Draco Malfoy leaned across Harry and seized the largest bowtruckle. “Maybe,” said Malfoy in an undertone, so that only Harry could hear him, “the stupid great oaf’s got himself badly injured.” “Maybe you will if you don’t shut up,” said Harry out of the side of his mouth.

(OotP, page 260)

He's threatening and witty.

“Oh no,” said Hermione, quaking so badly that her knees gave way. “Oh, that was horrible. And he [Gwamp] might kill them [the centaurs] all. . . .” “I’m not that fussed, to be honest,” said Harry bitterly.

(OotP, page 759)

And when it comes to people he doesn't consider innocent, or ones he doesn't care for, even if they never harmed him, Harry is still vindictive. The centaurs mistreated Firenze and Hagrid, so Harry doesn't really care if Gwamp kills them all.

That being said, he is more concerned about Sirius in the above scene.

And he can and does cast unforgivables easily by the later books:

Hatred rose in Harry such as he had never known before. He flung himself out from behind the fountain and bellowed “Crucio!” Bellatrix screamed. The spell had knocked her off her feet, but she did not writhe and shriek with pain as Neville had — she was already on her feet again, breathless, no longer laughing. Harry dodged behind the golden fountain again — her counterspell hit the head of the handsome wizard, which was blown off and landed twenty feet away, gouging long scratches into the wooden floor.

(OotP, page 809)

Harry raised the hawthorn wand beneath the cloak, pointed it at the old goblin, and whispered, for the first time in his life, “Imperio!” A curious sensation shot down Harry’s arm, a feeling of tingling, warmth that seemed to flow from his mind, down the sinews and veins connecting him to the wand and the curse it had just cast. The goblin took Bellatrix’s wand, examined it closely, and then said, “Ah, you have had a new wand made, Madam Lestrange!”

(DH, pages 152-453)

As Amycus spun around, Harry shouted, “Crucio!” The Death Eater was lifted off his feet. He writhed through the air like a drowning man, thrashing and howling in pain, and then, with a crunch and a shattering of glass, he smashed into the front of a bookcase and crumpled, insensible, to the floor. “I see what Bellatrix meant,” said Harry, the blood thundering through his brain, “you need to really mean it.”

(DH, page 502)

So, I think Harry definitely has what it takes. He's clever, he can be ruthless, and he's capable of lying and hiding secrets when he feels it's the best option. He can hide his emotions when he really needs to, even if he rarely does. Actually, only in book 6, Harry starts sharing everything with Ron and Hermione on Dumbledore’s advice. Up to that point, he kept quite a bit to himself. And when someone wrongs him, he can and often will swing back.

And last but not least, should he have been in Slytherin?

So, this is an interesting question, because "should" can have two meanings.

1. Should've for the story — as in what is best for the narrative.

2. Should've for the character — in universe, which house the sorting hat should've picked.

So, for the first one, my answer is no. Gryffindor was the right choice for Harry for the narrative of the books as they are. Gryffindor is essentially the opposite of Slytherin and represents a choice more than just the traits and values the house represents. It represents Harry's choice even though he could've been a Slytherin he chose Gryffindor. And it's a constant choice with every heroic act. (personally, I'm not the biggest fan of equating school houses with morality, but it's effective in creating a clear narrative)

And while not all Slytherins are evil and not all Gryffindors are good, a Slytherin Harry Potter would've resulted in a very different story than what we have. So, for the story we ended up getting to happen the way it did, yes, Harry needed to be a Gryffindor.

For the second, maybe. Personally, I believe people (even if they aren't hatstalls) have more than one house they can fit into. Harry is both a Slytherin and a Gryffindor, and neither of them is more wrong or right for him as a person. I think deciding which one of them is best for him is up to a coin flip (and when in his life the question is asked).

He can be ruthless and cunning like a Slytherin. Selfless and courageous like a Gryffindor. He values justice like a Gryffindor. But he also has the selective loyalty of Slytherin to their own.

Point is, there isn't really a "should", because both suit him and he would’ve done well in both. Do I think Slytherin Harry is an incredibly fun concept to consider? Yes. Did I read way too many fics with this premise and would read more? Yes. Do I think he might've fit into Slytherin better than Gryffindor? Well, not necessarily.

Harry is much quieter than most in Gryffindor, but I think the constant scheming and image-keeping in Slytherin would be exhausting to him. He just doesn't care about all the gossip and politicalizing (something that occasionally leaves him out of the loop also in Gryffindor). So, again, both suit him about equally. The difference is that we get a very different story depending on his house.

[marauderverse]

With Love// F.W x Reader (1)

Summary: Y/n Dursley of number 4 Privet Drive hates her life. That was, of course, until the summer before grade 9, after an oddly charming redhead and his brothers helped her cousin escape. it was probably a good thing he forgot to return that key.

word count: 1.3k

Y/n Dursley of number 4 Privet Drive hates her life. 

The first born daughter of Vernon and Petunia, who were more than disappointed to find their first child was a girl, overshadowed by her joke of a younger brother, and ignored by her parents. 

Well ignored was not quite the right word. 

They often pretended she didn’t exist, except when it benefited them to have an older daughter. 

Though she knows she shouldn’t be ungrateful for her situation, her cousin Harry had it much worse. 

She was only three when he had showed up on their doorstep, she doesn't remember much but she does remember her mother palming off a lot of her responsibilities onto her. 

At the time she had thought it was great fun, feeding him his milk and nursing him to sleep. It was like she had her own living doll. 

As she grew older, though, the responsibilities grew greater. 

By the time she was seven she was making sure Harry was up and ready for school, lunch packed and everything.

By the time she was ten she was signing his school forms, she had always been rather handy with pens. 

She remembers the summer that her cousin Harry turned 11, she had saved up what little money she had managed to scrounge together from the paper route she had started two months earlier and gone out and gotten him his very own watch. 

It wasn’t a lot, nothing fancy like the watch Dudley had gotten. But it was nice enough, with a simple leather band and silver accents on the face.

She remembers how he had received that letter only a week before and how her mother and father had done their best to keep Harry from reading those letters. How she had tried her hardest to get him those letters. 

They were carted across England (just about) and forced to sleep on the floor. She had given Harry the less lumpy space on the floor and had resigned herself to a sleepless night.

That had obviously been before Hagrid had kicked down that door and completely changed the whole course of their lives. 

Before she knew it Harry was being whisked away to some school to learn how to be a wizard and she was stuck at home with her parents who would have rather she didn’t exist and a brother she didn’t care for. 

She was more than ecstatic when Harry had arrived home for the summer. 

The very first-time y/n had ever formally met Fred Weasley was the summer before year 9. 

She had woken up to an odd rumbling sound coming from the room across from hers. She had been worried about Harry above all. She had watched as her father fastened bars on his window and a cat flapped on his door after that horrendous disaster of a dinner party. 

She had been staring at the heavy lock on his door, silently debating whether now was a good time to try her hand at lock picking when the door swung open. 

She stood there, like a deer in headlights, staring at the boy in front of her. Evidently, he was just as surprised to see her as she was to see him. 

“If you say anything, I’ll curse you,” He said suddenly, pulling what she assumed was his want out of his pocket and waving it in front of her face. 

She knew exactly what he was doing or, more, what he was attempting to do. 

She lifted her hand to swat the stick out of her face, and an unamused glare crossed her features. 

“First of all, I'm more frightened by the fact that there are strangers in my house than your little magic stick, and secondly, I know you’re not allowed to do magic outside of school, so you can drop the act,” she looked past the boy in front of her and over to Harry, who was talking with another boy who looked exactly like the one in front of her. 

The room was silent for a moment; Harry was the first to break the silence. 

“Y/n, these are my friends; they’ve come to take me to their place,” He explained.  

“Yeah, and if you try to stop us, we will curse you, even if we aren't allowed to do magic outside of school,” said the boy before her. 

She trained her focus back to him, eyes narrowed and annoyance evident on her face. 

“Do you think that if I wanted to stop you from taking Harry, I would still be standing here?” she asked. 

The boy thought for a moment. 

“I suppose not,” he said, finally putting his wand back into his pocket. 

“Fred and George were going to get my broom and stuff from the cupboard,” He explained. 

“Do they need the key?” She asked. 

“Key?” The one in front of her asked. 

“A small, shaped piece of metal with cuts that fit into a lock and, when rotated can open or close it,” she explained, speaking slowly as if explaining the concept to a young child (or her brother). 

It was the boy before her turn to glare. 

“I know what a key is,” He said. 

“Then do you need one?” she asked. 

“I suppose a key would be helpful,” He said quietly. 

“Great, follow me. And be quiet,” She said, beckoning him to follow her. 

She leads him down the hall, down the steps and into the kitchen. 

She quietly picked up a chair and placed it in front of the stove before carefully climbing atop it to retrieve the small key from on top of the cabinet above the vent. 

“Here,” She whispered, handing the boy the key. “It’s just the cupboard under the steps we just came down,” She explained. 

He nodded, disappearing back the way they came. She stepped off the chair and put it back before making her way to the cupboard.

“Do you need help?” She asked, watching as he grabbed what was left of Harry’s school supplies. 

“No, I thought there would be more,” He explained, holding the loose parchment, quills and ink in one hand and balancing the broom over his other shoulder. 

“Well, the rest of it’s already in his room,” She shrugged. 

“I thought Harry said you guys looked all of his school stuff away,” 

y/n bristled at the insinuation that she, too, had been a part of this. 

“That’s just my parents; I’ve been intermittently giving him his stuff back,” She explained. 

“Really?” He asked, “why?” 

“What do you mean why?” She snapped.

“I mean, harry always talks about how horrible you muggles are to him,”

“Correction,” She said, “He talks about how horrible mum, dad and Dudley are,” said. 

Then she paused. 

“Do you even know my name?” She asked. 

“No, but do you know my name?” He shot back. 

“Well, I know your name is either Fred or George, and I also know your last name is Weasley,” She said. 

“Well, I know your last name is Dursley,” he replied, “And I’m Fred, by the way,”

“Well, Fred, my name is Y/n,” She said. 

She followed Fred into Harry's room.

“Okay,” She said, stopping to stand before her cousin, “Be safe, have fun and don’t forget to write to me. It’s like the only thing that keeps me sane in this fucking house.” She said, 

“I promise,” He said, smiling widely at her. 

She pulled him in for a tight hug before letting him step into the flying ford Anglia (which she had decided to think about later).

“Don’t kill my cousin, or I’ll kill you,” She said to the boy behind the wheel. 

She waved goodbye as they flew off. 

Her parents didn’t seem to notice the absence of Harry, and if they did, they were actively ignoring it. 

She received her first letter a day and a half later. 

Dear Y/n,

Hey there! So, I've got to confess... I kind of forgot to give you back your key after rescuing Harry from your place. I know, I know, not my finest moment. Anyway, sorry about that! Hope you're not too mad.

Cheers,

Fred

P.s we didn’t kill your cousin. He’s fine.

enclosed the key she had given to him.

[ashboilol]

The Marauders: Bullies who sexually assaulted a person. Basically Draco Malfoy and his cronies who were shown the Light.

Fandom: Such feminists, I love them!

Draco: Human equivalent of garbage who bullied anyone with lower social status, and mocked an orphan. Also gladly joined the DE.

Fandom: So tragic! He had no choice, we love him! He deserved better.

Dursleys: Gross, shallow human beings who abused the orphan they were in charge of, and even starved that child (and only because Vernon's promotion was cancelled).

Fandom: They have a reasonable hatred, and Petunia is sympathetic!

Dudley Dursley: Actually apologizes for his behavior and abuse, unlike oh-so-great James Potter.

Fandom: Bad!

Ron Weasley: Brave kid who has commited countless selfless acts and protects his friends.

Fandom: Bad! Hermione deserved better! Wife beater! Predator! Hermione should have cheated on him with Harry!

Severus Snape: Also does brave, selfless acts, and is known by HIS ENEMY'S SON as the bravest man Harry ever knew. Proves he really loves Lily.

Fandom: Bad! He was obsessed with Lily and a creep and he stole Lily's patronus! He also bullied Neville!

Lavender Brown: Nice and caring, and gives Ron the affection he deserves. Also does countless brave acts, helps to round up Skrewts, and fights in the DA despite the danger.

Fandom: She should go, she is ruining our ships!1!1!1! (Side note: I do ship Romione, but this anti-Lavender bullshit should stop.)

Cho Chang: Cares about and loves her boyfriend, and simply wants to know how he died because she loves him. Also offers to take Harry to the Ravenclaw common room, and fights in the DA.

Fandom: So annoying, can't she stop crying about Cedric?

[iamnmbr3]

Why are the so many parallels between Dudley, James, Draco?... each an only child, self-absorbed, spoiled by their loving/over doting parents, bully others, James and Draco are also both posh pure-blood legacy children, all of them show their capacity to grow beyond that with the limited screen time the book efforts them (for James and Dudley somewhat understandable) but Draco actually has the best placement in the story for that and yet that the one Rowling doesnt want us the focus on

You raise several interesting points here.

There are tons of parallels. One of the reasons Harry almost immediately dislikes Draco is that when they first meet Draco reminds him of Dudley due to his air of spoiled entitlement when he casually asserts that he'll bully his parents into buying him what he wants. (Interestingly, Draco is actually posturing here - while his parents do spoil him to an extent, he most certainly is not able to push them around the way Dudley does with his parents; furthermore, I cannot imagine Vernon publicly reprimanding and shaming Dudley the way Lucius does with Draco in Borgin & Burkes in book 2.) The bigotry of the Malfoys also is ironically paralleled by how the Dursleys view the magical world.

James's dialogue when he first meets Snape & Lily directly and presumably intentionally echoes Draco's dialogue in Madam Malkin's. And James's bullying of Snape may possibly be born of bigoted, classist attitudes though that is speculation. Certainly the friend he views most as an equal is Sirius - who is both pureblood and also, like James, extremely wealthy. The way James treats his friends - especially Peter - more like subordinates also mirrors Draco's relationship with Crabbe and Goyle who are below him in the social hierarchy he is part of and act more as minions than as true friends and confidantes.

And of course Dudley, James, and Draco are all bullies. I actually think James and Dudley are the most similar of the 3. While Draco is a bully, his actions are much milder and less violent than those of James and Dudley. Also, Draco's attitudes and behavior are known and encouraged by his parents. In fact, Draco's biggest problem is that he lacks a penchant for cruelty and does not enjoy or wish to partake in the kind of violence that's expected of him. I would imagine that James and Dudley were both spoiled and that their parents turned a blind eye to their enjoyment of tormenting and hurting others, rather than openly encouraging it. I still find the sadism on display in "Snape's Worst Memory" to be one of the most deeply disturbing scenes in the books.

Now. We never really see any evidence that James changed although we are told he did. We do see a rather touching growth arc for Dudley. Draco also has an incredibly interesting redemption arc and by the last page of book 7 he has completely renounced his old views and behaviors. JK Rowling acknowledges this and yet, inexplicably, refuses to admit Draco got a redemption arc. Despite openly admitting that he changed. Which is...a redemption arc. She seems deeply resentful of the fact that fans like this character and responded to the complexity and growth that she herself wrote for him. It's genuinely bizarre and I don't get it. I suppose perhaps it's a mix of her hating drarry and how popular it became and also not having a good understanding of her own work. But your guess is as good as mine.

[fanfic-lover-girl]

Best Harry Potter Hubby

I am curious as to who people think the best husband is. Please try to be as objective as possible. It doesn't matter if the man is a villain or antagonist. It's not even about the ship. Like you can prefer Hinny over Romione but think Ron makes a better husband than Harry for eg.

It's a bit hard for some of these guys since their marriage may not have a lot of screentime or no screentime at all. Use how they acted as boyfriends as a rough estimate??

Propaganda from moi:

I personally think Vernon is the best husband in HP. The dude is an abusive jerk to Harry but the man is always ready to throw hands to protect his family. Plus, the dude treats Petunia like a queen and respects and loves her. I just think the Dursleys have the best marriage on paper. Unlike other HP couples, I can't find any fault with Vernon as a husband.

[atyd1960]

The more I think about it the more I'm confused about Snape's so called "redemption arc".

We don't know much about his years at Hogwarts outside of the time James hanged him from his underwear and he called Lily a Mudblood, but we know that:

1. He had a disdain for Muggles ever since he was born or at least ever since he was 10 y/o bc that's when he meets Lily and Petunia and treats the latter like garbage.

2. He was friends with Mulciber and Avery- known death eaters, especially Mulciber who we know was particularly close with Baldy due to the time he came to Hogsmede with him for his job interview with dummydore.

From that we can assume that he was a witness and a participant in A Lot of hate crimes against Muggle Borns ever since he was a minor. One of which was the time Mary was the victim.

3. We know HE invented the spell James used to hang him from his panties, which must mean that he used it against others, probably muggle borns, and his DE friends must've used it as well.

4. We know he invented the spell Sectumsempra to use against his enemies?? (Sorry it's been a while since I read the books I don't remember the exact quote.) and his enemies are almost certainly the Marauders. Also maybe his dad but that's a discussion for another day.

5. We know he was one of Baldy's dearest death eaters, even tho he was a Half-Blood with no status and no connections, which means he definitely did a lot of horrific things to Muggles and Muggle borns and the members of the Order of Phoenix.

6. We know he heard Trelawney's prophesy after eavesdropping in a bar, and immediately ran to Baldy with it. He knew that by telling Baldy about the prophecy an innocent baby will be killed, and he didn't give a shit. I cannot stress enough how much that information in vital for his character. Taking a baby's life so that Baldy might give him a sit closer to him by the table. And nothing would've happened to him if he shut his mouth and didn't go to Baldy. He didn't have his life or even his status\loyalty on the line. He just sacrificed this anonymous innocent baby for kicks and giggles.

7. The only point in which he cared about his actions was when Lily's life was on the line. This wanker really didn't care that he just gave Baldy (a man who made it his life' mission to kill Lily and the likes of her) a reason to kill Lily's son and husband, who were practically her only source of joy while she fought against his people in the war. He just wanted the girl he slurred and stalked and mistreated in high-school to live with all her friends and family dead. And thought he was doing something good. I don't even know how to begin to describe how fucked up that is.

8. He went to Dummydore and asked him to save her. After he got her, her husband and her kid to be under an even worse constant death threat than they were before because of Lily's blood status and their participant in the order. And after he spent the last 3-4 years killing Lily’s friends and the people who share her blood status.

9. That was also the point in which he offered himself to be a double spy right?? Again real heroic of him to risk his life after all the shit he did because he was in love with a girl whose life he ruined. He never cared about all the shit he did and all the people he murdered and he never actually wanted to help innocent people or do good by the world or even by Lily.

10. After Baldy died for the first time and the first war ended, Harry had nobody left, and Dummydore put him with Petunia and Vernon. Snape knew better than anyone else what the Dursleys will do to Harry. He knew everything, and he didn't do shit. Not only did he not do shit, but he also made things worse for Harry by bullying and harassing him since the moment he stepped foot in the castle.

11. Extending on the last point- Snape bullied, harassed, abused, mistreated and discriminated against students at Hogwarts ever since he started teaching there, I'm not gonna start elaborating on all the times he did those things because that would take a different essay of similar length.

12. Yeah I don't really know what to add here? That's pretty much it I think.

So to conclude: am I really expected to forgive him because he loved Lily and had a hard time with James when they were 16 and he spied for Dummydore for a bit?? Being a loser in middle school and then becoming a double spy doesn’t make up for… anything. Especially since he never stopped being a terrible person.

[greenerteacups]

forever grateful to you for sharing your musings, as if the book writing weren't great enough and hard work enough, you truly spoil us and i love you.

I'm popping in here to ask if you would like to talk about how you see Dumbledore. Sometimes I feel his manipulative side is abused in fanfiction, depicting little more than a heartless chess master.

And well, I guess I'm curious to find out if Lionheart Albus has a heart and will we get to see it. Maybe the more generous glimpses you give us of Snape and his interactions with him will shed some light on his hidden depths? Or will his appearances remain fleeting and enigmatic, always far and above all the little people we do know and adore?

Sorry, I know you can't possibly be completely balanced in your portraying of the whole cast, or they would spread too thin. I am here for the plot, for the Dramione and the Blacks, but I deeply enjoy all the character building (I truly live for all of them, not only our loved ones, I even cherish Warrington with sincere hate and am waiting for his comeuppance ) so I thought I would ask if you wouldn't mind a few comments on our opaque headmaster.

Thank you, friend! You're really kind.

Dumbledore has a relatively minor role in Lionheart for a few reasons — chief among which is, as you point out, that we just don't have time for everybody to get the same level of characterization the mains do. I have plot justifications for that, but it'd be disingenuous to suggest otherwise: Dumbledore's minor because I'm less interested in him than I am in Snape and Narcissa, and Lionheart is much more about Draco's sphere of the world than Harry's. That being said, I think some people forget how small Dumbledore's role is in the original books. He pretty much exists to deliver exposition and tell Harry how to beat the final boss; dude doesn't even get a gesture at a backstory until he's already dead. In fact, it's kinda weird to me that everyone (including a lot of people in the series) treats Dumbledore like he's some kind of guardian for Harry, especially with respect to the decision to keep him at the Dursleys. I know it's set up in the prologue, but if I'm Dumbledore, and I'm catching strays for Vernon Dursley being a piece of shit, I'm gonna be like:

The TLDR on Dumbledore is he's blamed way too much for stuff he doesn't do instead of the stuff he does. People seem to blame him for everything bad that happens to Harry because he's a competent adult in the general vicinity of the kid. But with the possible exception of hiring Lockhart — a bad decision I attribute to Early Installment Weirdness and, just maybe, a certain scarcity of applicants for a position where the last dude Literally Fucking Died — there's not a whole lot of shit that happens to Harry in the first few books Dumbledore could've prevented. Plus, he does in fact have Other Shit to be Doing. Is he a really powerful wizard who probably could've saved Harry's ass in a lot of the fights he gets into? Yes. Does he also have a whole school to run, a secret guerrilla group to direct, a Ministry full of political enemies to placate, and — oh yeah — a snake-faced immortal evil sorcerer he's playing 4D chess with at all times? Yes!

The whole lamb-to-slaughter thing with Harry is admittedly quite dark, but I don't read it as machiavellian. For one, Dumbledore obviously comes to this conclusion after a lot of deliberation, and to his death, he refuses to tell Harry about it, because (one assumes) he never intends to kill Harry himself. He's willing to hinge the fate of the free world on his respect for Harry's autonomy and/or his faith that Harry will make the "right" choice. That's pretty humane, given the circumstances. And he holds off on telling Harry about the horcruxes because... he doesn't want to inform a literal child that he'll eventually have to kill himself for the war effort. Oh, GOD, what a SCHEMING MONSTER. Surely this is motivated by menace, and not the grieving reluctance of a seasoned veteran who wants to preserve whatever few years of happiness this kid can eke out of life.

The areas where Dumbledore is morally shady come out most in his interactions with other adults. His conversation with Severus in 1981, for instance, is the one time in the books where I was legitimately frightened of him, because it's a rare time he's completely without mercy or grace. "What will you give me in return, Severus?" is a character-defining line, because Snape has just told him that two twenty-somethings and their infant child are about to be murdered, and Dumbledore's hit back with the subtextual equivalent of: "Tough shit. Why is it my problem?" Which is COLD AS FUCK! And we can kind of infer that he's not in earnest here, that he's manipulating Severus by making him think Dumbledore won't protect the Potters (even though they're Order members, which this theory requires us to assume Severus doesn't know) so that he can get him to work as a spy — but we don't know that for certain, right? It's all inference. We hope that his implicit threat isn't genuine, but what would happen if Severus said no, and walked away? How much did Albus understand about Snape's feelings for Lily, and what kind of person does it take to bluff like that in front of a known Legilimens? That line is intimidating as fuck whether or not Albus means it.

It's bits like these, where he's talking to people that he actually dislikes, where we get hints of the real Machiavellian Albus Dumbledore, and it's absolutely fascinating. He's the veteran of two wars, going on three when he dies, and you can tell in how he conducts himself. That includes, by the way, his gentility with children and his respect for innocence. But he's not just Good Funny Grandfather Dude or Crafty Mastermind. He's a general. He's been waging wars from the back lines since his twenties. That does something to your brain, and it doesn't leave a lot of you left over for anything else.

[stop-ugly]

✨HEADCANONS✨

Harry loves his adoptive fathers very much, but he also knows everything about his real parents. There are pictures of Lily and James in every room.

Harry spent his childhood with rock music.

As soon as the next new model of a children's broom appears in stores, Sirius tries to buy it for Harry right away. Remus does not approve of such actions and believes that Sirius spoils his godson.

Quite early, Harry begins to show the character inherited from...... Lily. Sirius pretends to groan that there are two bores in this house now.

Sirius still spends every full moon with Remus, and Harry stays with his aunt Andromeda.

At first, Remus continued to look for work, but he was refused everywhere because of lycanthropy. In the end, Sirius got tired of it, and he forced his husband to stay at home, because, thanks to the inheritance of the Potters and Blacks, they do not need money.

Every Halloween, Remus, Sirius and Harry go to the Potter's grave.

Once wolfstar tried to come to Dursleys. They wanted Harry to meet his cousin. Petunia and Vernon turned out to be homophobic as well as wizard-hating. And Dudley was a spoiled bully. Harry didn't want to go back to that house.

In this universe, Harry does not try to hide his scar, because Sirius diligently teaches his husband and son that you should never be ashamed of yourself.

One day, Harry tells Remus and Sirius that he would like to have a brother or sister. And before Remus can start a Conversation™, Sirius interrupts him: "Harry, you may not have noticed, but we're gay."

Harry is a Gryffindor.

Remus had instilled in Harry a love of reading.

Harry feels comfortable in both the magical and muggle worlds.

In fact, Harry's character remains the same, but, thanks to supportive parents, he does not have that low self-esteem, hero syndrome and a huge sense of duty to the magical world. And he is no longer so easy to manipulate.

He also wants to become an animagus, but Remus insists that Sirius can only begin training Harry when he is at least 14 years old.

Harry is still great at Quidditch, but now he doesn't end up in the hospital wing after every match.

Harry has detentions much more often than in the canon, thanks to the love of pranks and adventures inherited from Sirius.

And yeah, in this universe, he's much more in touch with the Weasley twins. Although his best friends are still Hermione and Ron.

Harry is VERY cheeky.

Severus hates Harry even more than in the canon because of the character traits of Remus and Sirius. It's mutual.

Do you know what Hogwarts lacks? THE PARENT-TEACHER CONFERENCES.

I can see Severus scolding Harry in front of all the other parents, and Sirius is instantly furious and expresses doubt about the potion master, who can't make himself a shampoo.

Sirius thinks there's no point in coming up with new jokes when the old is still gold. AND HE'S SERIOUS.

One day after a parent-teacher conference Lucius is very rude about Sirius and Remus ' relationship. Narcissa leads her husband away, giving Wolfstar an apologetic look. Sirius is not offended, but he comes to the next conference in a rainbow-colored robe.

Remus was wearing a bisexual badge.

Dumbledore liked it.

Lucius sat red-faced throughout the conference, and as soon as it was over, he apparated away. Narcissa just laughed and suggested that her brother should have dinner together sometime.

When Hermione's passion for protecting the rights of magical creatures wakes up, Harry suddenly becomes interested too and inundates her with questions about possible solutions to the problems of werewolves.

Hermione puts two and two together, and the next time she sees Remus, she notifies him of her guess, and also expresses her full support. Remus was embarrassed but pleased.

When Harry came out to his adoptive parents as a bisexual, Sirius exclaimed happily, raising his hands in the air: "WE'RE GOING TO THE PRIDE!!"

Sirius presents himself as Casanova and the king of flirting, but when Harry needs love advice, he ALWAYS goes to Remus.

When Harry has a crush on Draco, Sirius wonders who exactly he inherited his love for the nasty Slytherins: Lily or James?

There's no way Harry's been cleaning up school shit all these years on his own. No, Harry has fathers, and they won't leave him. Never ever.

[saintsenara]

More ships! Severus Snape/Charity Burbage, Severus Snape/Petunia Dursley, Narcissa Black/Lily Evans, Narcissa Black/Remus Lupin

thank you very much for the ask, anon! lots of delicious ships here to get into...

charity burbage/severus snape

i'm going to start this one by pointing out something which features a lot in discussions of snape's relationship with dear old chazza b, and which i have elected to find annoying even though it's spectacularly minor:

in the book [or - certainly - in the original edition, which is what i have] of deathly hallows, charity does not say that she and snape are friends while pleading for her life. this is an invention of the films, which are rather more heavy-handed at hinting that snape isn't really a loyal death eater with blood-supremacist views than the text is.

but, nonetheless, she does still beg him to spare her... and so she must retain some belief in snape's capacity for goodness even though she must be aware, as a hogwarts teacher, that he murdered dumbledore only days beforehand...

which is to say that i love the idea of a bit of snarity [snurbage? burbape?] in a story which didn't deviate from the canon timeline. it is just exquisitely nasty to imagine the two coming together during the goblet of fire to half-blood prince period, initially just for something casual - since snape knows he can't commit to anything given his role as a spy - which then turned into something deeper he was occasionally driven to allow himself to imagine might be able to become a real relationship after the war...

...and then him having to look a woman he's fallen in love with in the eyes and arrange his features into a malevolent smirk while this is happening:

Voldemort raised Lucius Malfoy’s wand, pointed it directly at the slowly revolving figure suspended over the table, and gave it a tiny flick. The figure came to life with a groan and began to struggle against invisible bonds.   “Do you recognize our guest, Severus?” asked Voldemort.  Snape raised his eyes to the upside-down face. All of the Death Eaters were looking up at the captive now, as though they had been given permission to show curiosity. As she revolved to face the firelight, the woman said in a cracked and terrified voice, “Severus! Help me!” “Ah, yes,” said Snape as the prisoner turned slowly away again.

and then to have to pretend to be completely unruffled as voldemort kills her in front of him.

delicious.

petunia dursley/severus snape

this is one i really, really back.

i’m fond of petunia, who i think is one of the most interesting characters in the series because of how full of contradictions she is.

and who i think is also a victim in fandom spaces of how the adult cast was aged up for the films [in canon, she’s only in her early twenties when lily dies, and the implication is that vernon is a good deal older than her]. her inadequacies, such as her inability to truly care for either child in the household, seem much more nuanced in a woman of twenty-three, who has a toddler and whose entire family is dead, than they do if she’s pictured as a middle-aged woman with considerable life experience.

and like snape, petunia teeters on a knife edge between various chasms: she's a working-class girl from the midlands made good in middle-class surrey, he's a working-class half-blood boy who spends most of his life in pureblood circles; she ends up with her whole life wrapped up in a square little house when she’s barely out of her teens, he ends up with his whole life wrapped up in spying at the same age; she hates the wizarding world and yet covets it, he hates the muggle world and yet cannot escape it; she loves lily and she hates her and she loathes her for dying, he… well, you know the rest.

all of these similarities - especially when combined with the long history of resentment between snape and petunia [she thinks he stole lily from her! he thinks she was the first person to try and keep lily from him!] - makes snetunia just so compelling.

and if you're convinced and desperate to really get into the mess, you're in luck - because you can read the magnificent regretfully, yours by @maria-de-salinas, which takes snape and petunia's bitterness and awkwardness and grief and guilt and remorse and turns it into something really quite beautiful...

narcissa black/lily evans

ok, so i'm afraid to say that narlily is one of those marauders-era ships which i don't fully get the increasingly popularity of - and so, if you do ship it i would be thrilled to get your recs and manifestos as to why.

my objection doesn't actually have anything to do with narcissa being a blood-supremacist [although i don't think i'd vibe with a story which didn't address this at all - and i'm not compelled by a common version of fanon!narcissa which has her as not sincerely holding these beliefs: she is just as much of a bigot as lucius] - i think something quite interesting could be done with narlily [as in all death-eater-with-a-non-pureblood ships] as a vehicle for an examination of the hypocrisy of blood-supremacy; and with narlily as a femslash ship specifically as a vehicle for an examination of how sex with a non-pureblood which has no chance of resulting in pregnancy would be more acceptable in a culture which is so obsessed with heritage and lineage than sex which could.

why i don't really think it would slap for me, though, is that narcissa always comes across in canon as someone who is conformist and a bit staid - largely, as i've written about elsewhere, because she feels a desire to perform according to the gendered conventions expected of a woman of her class background as a way of deflecting the shame brought upon her family's standing in polite society by bellatrix and andromeda's behaviour. lily - on the other hand - is famously a bit bolshy - cheeky and adventurous and argumentative and stubborn.

and so i simply do not imagine their personalities either working well together in any meaningful way or clashing spicily [they'd clearly both regard the other as not worth their time popping off at].

please change my mind!

narcissa black/remus lupin

this, on the other hand... yes. hook it into my veins.

they both live behind masks - hers of gendered social convention, his of self-loathing - which have, at their core, the idea that a proper witch and wizard must be "civilised". and while they both seem to prefer to embrace these masks, there is the potential lurking beneath them for both of them to break free and be wild and raw in the realities of themselves.

plus... imagine if you've also got the post-1981 context of lupin trying desperately to understand how sirius could have become the death eater who would betray james to voldemort and narcissa and lucius trying to establish the fiction that he was under the imperius curse during the first war with the ministry, well before they feel comfortable becoming as complacent in their conviction that voldemort's not about to return as they are at the start of the canon narrative.

lovely misery.

[jamesunderwater]

Bring Your Kid to Work Day(s never end when your godfather is Sirius Black)

@goodgodfathersiriusblack fest day 11: bring your kid to work day - 2,007 words - shout out to @annabtg for beta reading <3 Dedicated to my own godfather, Steve, who actually would have killed someone for me, and always made me believe I was the best mechanic at the shop.

Harry loves the smell of gasoline, of engine fuel, of greasy metal scattered on dirty cement floors. His muscles relax when he thinks of them, an unconscious deep breath entering and exiting his lungs. With them come the sounds of tools clanking and voices echoing off tin walls, a radio in the corner crackling with rock music, muffled by the bins and boxes and other random objects hiding it from view. What should feel like chaos is a memory that brings him only peace. 

**

At first, the Dursleys refused to let him go. They always started off that way, with a firm no, as if naively hoping this might be the time they actually won a standoff with Sirius Black. When he wanted to take Harry to the coast for his seventh birthday, Uncle Vernon’s jowls shook with determined strength as he told the boy’s godfather he would be doing no such thing! “You think I’m letting you run off with him for days, so you can fill his head with more devilry to unleash on my family? I won’t have it!” 

Sirius always responded to Uncle Vernon in one of two ways: with terrifying malice, or unbothered amusement. Harry watched his godfather’s eyes twinkle from his view against the wall out of his uncle’s line of sight. “Oh, Dursley, Dursley, my good man, I have already given Harry all the knowledge I have on how to call down endless doom upon this dreadful home.” Sirius’s hands moved dramatically as he spoke, as if he might be casting a spell in that very moment. “A few days of playing in the water might actually put him – and myself – in such a good mood that we hold off on the doom a little longer.” Even though there was still a grin on Sirius’s face, Harry heard a hint of his ‘terrifying malice’ voice when he said, and myself. He glanced at his uncle to find the man’s face turning pink, his chin quivering in fearful frustration, the way it did by the end of all his conversations with Sirius. 

“Fine,” was all Uncle Vernon said. “I expect him back by the 3rd.”

**

Harry doesn’t actually remember their original conversation about Sirius taking him to the shop for Bring Your Kid to Work Day, only that Sirius always references it when Uncle Vernon tries to argue that Harry can’t go. He was only five then, so the only important memory from that day was the one of him entering Sirius’s autobody shop for the first time. 

Read the rest on AO3!

[kay-elle-cee]

@jilytoberfest 31 Prompts: Day 7 || 1592 Words (oops!) || Read on Ao3 —

“This is absurd,” Lily hisses, straining against the grip her older sister has on her wrist. She nearly stumbles on her long skirts in the process, but she doesn’t care—she’d pitch herself down the stairs if it meant getting herself out of this: meeting her betrothed.

It was idealistic of her to hold onto a notion of love, sure, but she thought she’d at least get some say in the matter of her engagement. A few chaperoned visits, a ball—time enough to have an opinion on the man. But perhaps her previous refusals to her sister and her husbands’ matches had proved one too many examples of the free spirit her father so often lauded. 

So they had simply…chosen for her.

“Father would never—”

“Father’s not here, Lily,” Petunia bites. “And Vernon has found you a respectable match. This is not up for discussion—you will be marrying Lord Potter.” She pulls open the door with a little more force than a well-bred lady should, a serene expression settling onto her features as she leads Lily into the room and their guest’s attention is drawn by their entrance.

He’s handsome, in an irritating way—that’s Lily’s first thought as his eyes widen in surprise before bowing in response to the curtsies she and Petunia offer. He straightens and his attention is on her, a sparkling kind of wonder in his hazel eyes that Lily tries not to get swept up in—he’s assessing her for what she is: an offering. No matter how genial (or handsome) this man is, no one who consorts with Vernon Dursley holds any merit, as far as Lily is concerned. She frowns.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Miss Evans,” Lord Potter says with a smile, and Lily finds she has to avert her eyes from its supposed sincerity. This could be dangerous if she forgets her instincts.

“The pleasure is mine, my Lord,” she says clearly, eyes flicking to his before focusing once more on the corner of the room, her frown still well in place.

“I apologize for her impertinence, sir,” Petunia says with a hollow laugh and a pinch to the inside of Lily’s arm—out of sight of her betrothed. “Lily, show him your pretty smile.”

“She does not need to smile if she does not wish it,” Lord Potter assures from across the room with a furrowed brow. “I understand this situation can be a bit overwhelming. Perhaps we could take a walk about the gardens outside and get to know one another.”

It strikes her, truly, how he addresses her instead of her sister. Unlike the few other suitors Petunia and Vernon had tried to court for her—who had spoken to them as if she were not in the room, as if she did not have a voice—Lord Potter seems to await her answer.

She gives a hesitant nod. “A chance for fresh air sounds lovely.”

Petunia leads the way through the house with a smug smile, snapping at the servants to ready the parasols for her and Lily. Lily’s quiet, her mind struggling to make sense of Lord Potter.

As they start on their walk, Petunia takes a spot next to Lily and falls in line with the couple, no doubt in an effort to ensure her younger sister remains amenable. Lord Potter starts up the conversation with a few simple questions directed at Lily, only to have her sister answer for her.

Lily feels the tension in her jaw, her eyes firmly fixed ahead of them on the path. She’s biting back some unkind words, something scathing or embarrassing, when her ears register a quiet, slightly exasperated sigh from her left.

“Mrs. Dursley, I was wondering if you might be persuaded to trail us so that I may get to know my intended a bit more personally.” Lily’s eyes snap up to the man on her left to find him focused on her sister, a strained smile on his face.

She can tell Petunia is displeased but she falls back as he requested, putting distance between herself and the couple, and Lily feels she can breathe a bit easier.

“You don’t get along with your sister.”

It’s an observation, not a question, and Lily tries to keep her face inscrutable as she turns to look at him. “I am grateful for Mr. and Mrs. Dursley’s kindness.”

She doesn’t miss the way his lips curve into an amused smile in the silence. “A very diplomatic answer.”

Her eyebrow raises, and she’s held her tongue long enough this morning to continue doing so. “Is that not what you’d deem a positive trait, my Lord?”

A sudden chuckle startles her, and he casts a surreptitious glance behind them before meeting her eyes. “Might I let you in on a secret, Miss Evans?”

Her heart, against her better judgment, begins beating wildly as her mind races with curiosity. “You may.”

He lowers his voice to a whisper so that she has to lean in to better hear him. “I rather dislike Vernon Dursley.”

This news twists her insides. On the one hand she finds him a kindred spirit, on the other—dangerous, for what are his intentions in marrying her if he finds her relations so disagreeable? Her breathing becomes short as she tries to parse out her next questions, aware of his eyes on her and the echo of amusement sliding from his face at her silence.

“So am I…a pawn in a game of revenge to you? A joke, perhaps?” She tries to contain her anger, tries to keep her voice low even as she feels the panic clawing at her insides. 

“No, no, no, Miss Evans—”

“Am I not a person who deserves—”

“I did not mean to upset you—”

“Upset me?” She glares at him and he casts a nervous glance behind them.

“I hope you do not mind my honesty. Mr. Dursley is a very proud man, very boastful. He’s continuously looking for ways to bolster his connections and social status and has been shopping you around as a means to do that for a while.” She can see his amber eyes flicker with anger behind his glasses. “I thought it was vile, especially considering the contempt for you I’d often hear in his voice after a glass or two of brandy.”

“So this is chivalry?” She hisses. “As if I am a damsel in need of saving?” 

“I believe at Dursley’s hand, you do.”

The quiet between them stretches as they walk, Lily’s cheeks flushed with anger and indignation. A sigh from her left breaks the tense silence, and when Lord Potter speaks, his voice is carefully measured.

“I do apologize, Miss Evans, for how all of this has come to light. I promise that I mean you no harm, nor think you incapable of making your own decisions. Perhaps it was presumptuous of me to propose this match, but I do it not for valor, but because it is right.”

Lily finds her eyes drawn to him by not just the words, but in the sincerity with which he speaks. The wariness in his gaze forces her to look away, embarrassment creeping up for her outburst, however true her words may still be.

“Then I must apologize as well, my Lord. My words were—”

“Please do not…” Lily watches as he shakes his head, and she finds discomfort has settled in the crease between his brows. “My title gives me a status which I’ve not earned, but for the luck of my birth. It often shields me from others’ honesty, both good and bad. Your words were entirely justified, and refreshing to hear, I assure you.”

Lily nods uncertainly as they turn a corner by a rosebush. 

“Again, I make you this offer not borne of vengeance or pity, but with the hope of giving you a chance at a life you could enjoy. My expectations are not numerous—your attendance at certain events, involvement in the community, an heir”—here, his cheeks flush—“and hopefully an amiable companionship. Other than that, you would be free to spend your time as you’d like—reading, painting, traveling…I have no desire to restrict you to the confines of a manor with running a household as your only outlet, if that is not your wish.”

Lily’s heart is pounding at the proposition, prior feelings of irritation fading and giving way to some shred of hope for a life not decided by her sister or a man who likens himself to Vernon. A life where she has options and freedom, and the means to stoke the bit of restless spirit that still resides in her.

“That is, if you will still have me.”

Her eyes meet his—really meet his—for the first time that day, and her stomach knots with the eagerness she sees shining in their depths, breaking through the amber and flecks of green. Finding her voice, she speaks with a hint of mischief. “I’m doubtful that Mr. and Mrs. Dursley would allow any other option, even if I wished it, my Lord.” Lily takes a breath. “Which I do not.”

“I am relieved to hear that, Miss Evans,” he exhales, and she can see the way his face sheds the discomfort of the last few minutes though a flush rises on his neck. “And if we’re to be married then please, in these moments of ours, feel permitted to call me James.”

“The man behind the title,” she muses with a nervous smile.

He replies with a hopeful smile of his own. “Indeed, Miss Evans.”

[iamnmbr3]

i like your tom riddle and voldemort meta. do you know any good fics about him either any ship or gen?

Thank you so much! Here are some I've come across. If people have other recs feel free to post in the replies. And blanket warning to mind the tags on these for obvious reasons.

Amulette d'amour by The_Carnivorous_Muffin, Vinelle (words: 51,908 | not rated | Tom Riddle/Alphard Black)

Tom is commissioned to repair a magical amulet.

The Unwinding Golden Thread by The_Carnivorous_Muffin (words: 50,260 | rating: T | Gen )

In his fifth year Tom Riddle discovers his destiny and meets the cold, alarming, and bizarre transfer student Harry Evans. But sometimes things unravel in ways we do not expect.

Ouroboros by Metalomagnetic (words: 258,416 | Rating: E | Tom Riddle/Voldemort)

A strange man adopts Tom Riddle and it is not his father, as Tom desperately wants to believe. Stranded in the past, Voldemort once again comes to the conclusion he's the only one he truly needs.

A Broken Soul by wheatear (words: 4,529 | rating: G | Gen )

What exactly is the nature of a soul? And when Lord Voldemort so willingly split his own soul in half, what damage did he do to himself?

the pleasure, the privilege by asterismal (asterisms) (words: 19,901 | rating: M | Harry/Voldemort | CW: Horror, Extremely dark themes)

It begins with Vernon Dursley’s body, dead across the table. In which Voldemort is dosed with amortentia, and nothing is better for it.

One For Sorrow by axilet (Words: 1,795 | Rating: G | Gen )

Like a magpie, what Tom Riddle wants, he simply takes. One-shot; from the boy to the man.

love is touching souls (surely you touched mine) by ToAStranger  (words: 34,400 | rating: M | Harry Potter/Tom Riddle)

Voldemort is dead. It's Christmas, and Harry's just opened a gift from Fred and George Weasley.

War Paint by provocative_envy (words: 18,876 | rating: E | Hermione Granger/Tom Riddle)

It was small, slim, about the length of her hand; the leather cover was soft, the sewn-in binding was crisp, and the thick vellum pages were empty. 'Tom Marvolo Riddle' was printed in ancient, flaking gold leaf across the front. He had been a Slytherin, a prefect, and head boy in 1944. She had checked. [ ALTERNATIVELY - Hermione finds Tom Riddle's diary. ]