#i love the series dont get it twisted now i LOVE the books

[arckhaic]

idk what im saying but i just think hating on a piece of media bc it's been made into a different form ( specifically book into a movie / show / play / etc ) is so limiting ... like ur not any better bc you hold the opinion that the book is better than show and picking it apart to show the differences only the proves the point that they're Two Different Pieces of Media ... interpretations aren't inherently bad they're just different

you can enjoy them both

[sharkneto]

1, 6 and 16?

.1. fave book? MEAN why did you ask me that when it was one of the options, hard question. My default answer is Aron Ralston's autobiography, Between a Rock and a Hard Place (what the movie 127 Hours is based on). I've read it quite a few times and Twin gave me a signed copy for Christmas one year. Idk, reading about a man's mental and physical survival journey to cutting off his own arm (and all his adventures before this moment) hits me in the right spot. Books I've read recently, as I'm getting back into the whole reading thing, I supremely enjoyed Six of Crows and The Goblin Emperor.

6. fave trope? Another hard one. For this I'll say... main character denying that they're Special as they figure out they're Special. I'm listening to The Way of Kings at work and the few chapters it took for Kal to realize something was up, making excuses for why x or y happened, was delightful.

16. fave day? Fan of Thursdays. Something about it being over the hump of the week, get to look forward to the fact that tomorrow is Friday and then the weekend. It's nice.

faves ask game

[neobomb]

give into things i (dont) want to [lee haechan]

bully! (yandere) stalker! Haechan x innocent! church girl!reader Part of the give into things i (dont) want to series. Word Count: 1.2k Inspired by this drabble made by @neocentral Warnings: mature themes, toxic/inappropriate behaviour, stalking, forcing??, slut shaming, masterbation, choking & breathplay?, hair pulling, manhandling, MDNI, there will be smut in part 2 [Pt.1] [Pt.2] Summery: bully!Haechan is secretly in love with you and loves pulling your hair as it feeds into his perverted fantasies. btw, donghyuk is haechan's real name © 2023 @neobomb. Unauthorized copying, translation, manipulation, or alteration of this work is strictly prohibited. All rights reserved.

Haechan is hopelessly in love with you, a secret he vowed to take to his grave. However, his misguided attempts to gain your attention had spiraled out of control. What began as innocent teasing morphed into malicious intent. He has gone too far now. There is no going back. Over the years, he subjected you to relentless bullying: mocking you with derogatory names, spreading false rumors, and cornering you against his locker to threaten you. For as long as he had known you, he couldn't recall a single moment when he had treated you kindly.

“I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to..” he loves hearing you plead for forgiveness. Tears welled in your eyes as he pulled your long luscious hair, your eyes looking up at him with an innocence he couldn't ignore. 

“A slut like you should know when to keep their dirty mouth shut.” he says, looking down on you. You looked like a mess. A hot mess. You’re on the floor, tears running down your face as heavy breaths left your lungs after the assault. When he goes home, he would picture this exact image of you in his head while mercilessly stroking his dick. He would imagine ramming his dick into you while pulling your hair, forcing you to meet his gaze. It was the primary reason he enjoyed pulling your hair during confrontations.

Everyday, he would follow you home after school. It didn't appear unusual since his house was only a few blocks away from yours. You never thought much of it. Each time you entered the safety of your home, you assumed he would just keep going until he reached his own. But oh…how you were wrong. 

Haechan would always linger around you at a close proximity. Your bedroom is on the first floor, facing a large oak tree, his favorite hiding spot. Peeking through the leaves, he watches you through your bedroom window. You’re sitting on your bed, reading a book. You look so peaceful. So beautiful. Whenever your hair gets in the way, you tug the strands behind your ears, revealing more of your neckline each time. Occasionally, he would take photographs of you as you undress, showing it to his friends as "evidence" of your supposed slutty behavior, but primarily keeping them for his own twisted satisfaction later on.

Haechan knows better than everyone that you’re anything but a slut. He doesn't even think that you have had your first kiss yet. Over the past year, he's spread rumors about you sleeping with countless older men, intending to dissuade other boys from showing interest in you. In truth, you're a devout church-goer with a deep love for immersing yourself in books and fiction. But still, he loves calling you a slut. The humiliation that marks your face each time he calls you those names does wonders to him. 

—

An intense heatwave has gripped the town. The scorching sun felt like it was searing your skin as you used a book to fan yourself. This summer break, aside from working at your cousin Kun's restaurant, you hadn't accomplished much. During your shifts, Haechan would consistently appear, each time accompanied by a different girl. What a manwhore, you thought to yourself. 

“If you feel as though he is bothering you, I can take his table. Just slice the salmon for me and keep an eye on the fryer.” Jaehyun offers, extending his knife to you. As your fingers lightly touch, a swarm of butterflies stirs in your stomach. You've harbored feelings for Jaehyun for some time. He's tall, amiable, strikingly handsome, and an exceptional chef. He embodied everything you desired in a boyfriend. Though only a few years older, he appeared to have everything figured out. 

From a distance, Haechan observed your exchanges with Jaehyun. Not paying any attention to the girl he was on a date with. He took note of your hearty laughter at Jaehyun's jokes and the way your face flushed crimson with every compliment he paid you. Saying Haechan was jealous would be a severe understatement; he was profoundly possessive over you. 

—

The community you live in organized a grand gathering, and by chance, your parents had offered to host the entire event in your backyard. Such events were never to your liking as you would panic at the social interactions. Worst of all, lee donghyuk was present at the event. You seek refuge in your room, after hours on end, having to endure awkward conversations. 

“Why did you cut your hair, Y/N?” Haechan stands in front of your bedroom door. He stared at you intensely, noticing how your hair falls right at your shoulder, revealing your pronounced collarbones. He suspected you might have cut your hair based on the conversation he had overheard between you and Jaehyun a few days ago, where Jaehyun expressed his preference for girls with shoulder length hair. It seemed evident to him that you were attempting to align with Jaehyun's preferences, which angered him greatly. “Yes, why do you care?” 

“Is it because you can’t just grab onto it as easily anymore?” The words you just uttered struck him with the realization that you might have uncovered his dirty little secret. He restrained himself from showing any emotion. Keep it cool. Keep it cool. You’re probably just being paranoid, he tells himself “Huh, What a big mouth. Why would you say that?”

“You obviously have something against me. I mean, every day at school, you pull my hair and shove me against your locker," you state, setting your book on the surface of your nightstand. He steps into your room, wearing a deeply unsettling grin, and closes the door behind him.

"Why do you think you can just come into my room, DongHyuck?" You ask sharply, rising swiftly from your bed. You urgently sought an escape from the situation, but Haechan's imposing stature blocked your exit.

“You’re not going anywhere, Y/N.” He gets a rough grip around your neck, pushing you into your bookshelf. Once again, he noticed the familiar panic in your eyes, a sight he disturbingly loves.

“You think I won’t be able to man-handle you just because you cut your hair short. Well, think again.” His grip around your neck gets tighter and tighter. You were no longer registering his words. His words became a distant echo as your mind retreated to a different realm. He has never grabbed onto your neck before. It was certainly a new sight for him, a sight he was going crazy for. The way your hands grab onto his wrist, desperately trying to ease his grip, and the way your eyes almost fall shut by the intensity of the situation. It all turned him on so much. 

He gradually loosened his hold on your neck, observing as you gasped for air and color that returned to your face. As you caught your breath, Haechan abruptly pressed his lips against yours. The fervor of the kiss was overwhelming. He bit down on your lips with force, leaving a faint metallic taste behind. His patience has ultimately run out.

[mirrorhouse]

putting this all under a readmore and not tagging i just wanted to put my thoughts down somewhere .. talking about marius and his fans & tw for mentioning csa / sa

personally. i understand that the marius/armand relationship has been a popular part of the book series for decades and it's fictional and yes i get it. but. i dont understand those fans who encounter people who find it purely horrifying or upsetting and then get mad at them for it. just because of how it's framed in the books as a beautiful gothic love story (filtered through both the author's intention & the skewed perspectives of the two characters involved in it) doesn't mean EVERYONE has to romanticise it and it's only babies or idiots or show only fans who "can't handle gothic fiction".

and then the people who try to convince everyone marius is armand's saviour who only ever treated him with love and kindness really confuse me. like, is it a wholesome relationship built on mutual love? or is it abusive and awful AND loving and caring at the same time? aren't the people who deny marius did anything wrong to armand really the ones who can't stomach enjoying gothic romances and have to twist it into something else?

it's a story of a fully grown man, a millenia old vampire, rescuing a teenager from sex slavery by purchasing him for himself, renaming him, showering him with affection, sexually abusing him, genuinely loving him, treating him like a child and an adult and student and son and lover all at the same time, making his entire world revolve around his master, punishing him emotionally and eventually physically whenever he gets too clingy or aggressive. and it's all done, not under just the 'guise' of love, but from a place of genuine love, and that's how both characters see it. it's entirely damaging and fucked up and the aftereffects of it on armand's mind and sense of self are present for centuries, compounded by everything else he went through. he still draws both comfort and pain from thinking about his past now and even tries to partially recreate the dynamic with someone else both in the book (with daniel, armand taking the role of the master; and keeping young 'mortal slaves' for a time) and in the show (with louis, armand taking the role of the slave)

it is a super fucked up relationship & i'm not one of those people who thinks you shouldn't be allowed to enjoy those in fiction. there's a lot of them that appeal to me obviously, and of course everyone has their own boundaries when it comes to that too. AND i know it's not all marius fans or even all marius/armand fans. i literally don't care what people like in fiction and i think we should all just mind our own business honestly

but it's the people who act like they're the only ones who get that it's just a tragic beautiful romance, that nobody else can read apparently, that 'marius haters' are just looking for things to be mad at that make me go ???????

[bookishfae]

okay ive now read like 3-4 romantasy/fantasy books where its enemies to lovers and like immediately after the main characters decide they love each other and have sex, the MMC betrays her????? like “get naked, i love you” and then boom the third act twist is IMMEDIATE BETRAYAL. usual like public, messy betrayal also. which means the sequel then starts the whole enemies to lovers dynamic over again as the FMC is like rightfully pissed and then the author has to be like “no he had a good reason i promise” just for him to barely redeem himself to the FMC so she can forgive him and they can get back to fucking in between battles. like. once was shocking. twice was like okay sure. THREE TIMES?? FOUR TIMES?? no more. if another enemies to lovers MMC betrays the FMC, i want her to just kill him. if you want to use the enemies to lovers trope to sell your series, simply make it a slow burn, my guy. also i dont buy that she would forgive this like “ultimate betrayal” based on the fact that he has dark hair and shes horny for him. like if hes gonna betray her, stick to your guns and make him evil but nooooo hes always somehow right so she doesnt even get to be mad. its starting to feel like a cop out

[mammonsturtle]

Oh Baby! Brother’s Aftermath

A/N : So I wasn’t planning on making this into a series but I figured I’d do the brother’s reflections and perhaps the last part where they try to reconcile with Fem!MC. This fic will be written differently in the brother’s perspective if the child is their’s.

A/N pt2 : This might not be written as well as I’d like as you can tell from the various ways I’ve written the brothers. But I am burnt out on writing in the replaced!AU so a definitive ending will probably not be out. Maybe in the future, but I can’t promise anyone anything.

Best to read my fic Oh Baby! to get some backstory to this.

@underratedbitch-number13 @dont-ask-me-pls @sufzku

**​CW: general angst, parental abandonment, unhealthy coping habits(?) **

Having been banished by Lord Diavolo from ever seeing you and their child again, the brothers had silently returned back to the House of Lamentation where they were forced to face the reality of their actions.

You were gone, and your child was gone as well. And it was their fault for not catching onto the charm of Maura, no doubt learning the best from the Great Witch Maddi. They had been so easily charmed and believing that Maura’s baby was theirs, and you, out of jealousy had proclaimed you were pregnant as theirs as well.

You had been nothing but honest, you had held onto hope that the demons you loved would have believed you. Yet the brothers had easily evicted you in favor of the witch. And they had moved on as if you didn’t exist. The last they saw of you was your pained look and the upsetting cries of their baby were etched into their memories.

Scattered across the house were various things for the baby: baby supplies, books, clothes, toys, and in a cruel twist, they had turned your room into the nursery for Maura’s baby. The gifts they had once given you, had been tossed out and a group photo of you and the boys had been smashed on the ground. 

He couldn’t remember how that night went down, he could only guess that you were desperate for any affection from him, and that was how his child came to be.

And now they had to face the music and pick up the pieces.

Lucifer

Being the eldest and the most powerful of the seven brothers, he should have seen this and prevented it ever happening. Yet again, he had failed someone he loved. And as with Lilith, he couldn’t ever see you nor his child, and be a family once more.

Fuck. The Great Maddi

She had gotten him this time, this was her plan all along. The witches knew how close you were close to the Avatars, of course they would do anything to tear you apart. How could he not figure it out sooner before it got out of hand?

He should have payed more attention to how one by one his brothers had been deserting you, before he fell under the same spell as well.

He instructed his brothers to clear your room of the baby supplies, if anyone was up to it. Mammon could take them all back and sell them if he wanted, or Asmo could drop them off to the neighborhood children who wanted them.

He just wanted them out.

Sealing his room with a spell and soundproofing it as well, Lucifer drags his feet to his cursed record collection. Picking out the album that he was searching for, he blows the dust from it and sets it in the record player.

Pouring himself a glass of demonus, he sat down in your favorite chair where you had watched him work. The soft melodies fill the room as Lucifer swirls the liquid around and his vision starts to blur. The record was the same one when you both danced around in his office as a much needed break from his paperwork.

The song feels more hollow to him now.

How could he have forgotten how terrified you looked as you held his child? They had his eyes, trembling ruby red eyes that had gazed upon himself and his brothers. He couldn’t fathom the pain you had gone through without him and his brothers.

His literal pride and joy was stolen away because he hadn’t been quick enough to catch onto the way his brothers, one by one had betrayed and strayed from you. He could only imagine how you and his child was living your lives now without him.

There was no way he could compete with the life that Diavolo had given you and his child, you were basically living with royalty. Everything you and your child wanted and needed was there in a snap of a finger. Barbatos was considered his equal as well, so how could he compete with them both? You and his child were very much set for life.

And great devils, the angels had occupied your life, as well as his child. Surely they’d have an influence on his child, for the worse. Especially that damned chihuahua. Would he and Simeon speak ill of him and his brothers for what they did to you?

And Solomon? On the surface, he’d teach his little one spells and magic and since you were still his apprentice, he’d still be close to you. An awful thought came to him. That he would use his child as leverage to make a pact with him.

He had been a less than stellar parental figure to Satan, and in some ways hadn’t been the best older brother to the rest of his family. But being unable to be there for his child, and for you, it might have been akin to losing you a second time.

But he would never have wanted to be a horrible father. He had tried to distance the one who threw him and his brothers out of Heaven for opposing him. Would you have instill the fact that he was a truly terrible father to his child? 

He knew he and his brothers hurt and neglected you for the past months, and he knew that you would not forgive them so easily for the pain they had inflicted upon you and your child. 

As the record comes to its conclusion, he goes back to put the record on. 

Lucifer shakes his head as he grabs the bottle of demonus as such foolish thoughts wouldn’t gotten under his skin so easily. He proceeds to drink the entire bottle and wallow in his sorrow once more.

His pride wouldn’t have mattered if it meant losing you and his baby in the process. He would do what it took to find a way back to your heart. He would beg, plead, fall to his knees, if it meant you both would come back to him.

Mammon

Mammon, surprisingly was the first to get to work on your room. He had gotten a head start on disposing of Maura’s things, throwing out all the baby supplies and trying to get your room back to how it was before. 

Perhaps he’d sell them right after this, it was the most logical thing he’d do. It was probably what his brothers’ figured as it was him who bought nothing but the most expensive and flashy things for her and her baby.

He’d want to sell these awful reminders so he could buy you and his child the best of the best of course. But that moment was gone, you both were. Laying on your bed, he lets the tears fall as he tried to inhale any trace of you. But couldn’t smell a trace of your existence here. He knew why of course.

And it was his own damn fault.

He was your first man, he should have been protecting you from what Maura had planned. Yet he was the first one to fall under her charms. Of course she knew what words to say to sway him in her favor, and how to isolate him from you.

Damn his greed to feel needed and depended on.

Finding the smashed photo of you and the family, his eyes started to water. The moment he saw the little carbon copy of himself in your arms, with the same trembling ocean blue eyes gazing upon him. He could had easily seen himself in his kid’s eyes and it was like a stab to his heart.

He vividly remembers the fear in your eyes from the brothers suddenly appearing once they found out Maura’s baby wasn’t any of their’s. He remembers how it was him who outright rejected your baby. How he wanted to take those words back.

Why would you want him back? Or any of his brothers back?

Even if you wanted them back, how in the Devildom was he supposed to compete with the life you had now? You had everything you wanted and needed with Diavolo and Barbatos. He could hardly keep his greed in hold. How the hell was he supposed to provide for you and his kid?

Not to mention you had the Angels and Solomon by your side, were they going to tell his kid that he was the Avatar of Greed? A lowlife scumbag of an Avatar who did anything and everything for money at the expense of others? That his greed would bring harm to you and his kid?

You had made your point as they all had stepped up while he and his brothers shipped out. You had the best of the best now, why would you go back with him and his brothers?

As soon as he places the photo back to its spot, Mammon had sorted all the things he’d sell off, until your room was back to what it was before. Trudging over to the familiarity of your bed, he collapses as he starts to cry quietly.

His tears are soaked onto your pillow, he could only wish you were here with him. To hold him and to comfort him whenever he had a bad day with his brothers or the witches gave him a hard time. You had always been there for him.

Your unconditional love and kindness was something he had been greedy for in a long time. You were the best thing in his life and he so easily lost it as if it was another day at the casinos.

He wanted to be your first man again and he wanted to be in his kid’s life. All the grimm and treasures in the Devildom could never amount to the love you’ve given him. Nor could it buy the unconditional love his kid would have given him either.  

He wanted to give the world to you both, you deserved it after all that you had went through on your own. He wanted to be your protector once again, and he would be the protector his kid as well. 

You were both the most precious treasures in the three realms, and no other valuables or riches could compare to. He swore by his father’s name, he’d fight his greed to be there for you and his kid. However long it’d take, he’d make things right by you and his kid.

Leviathan

This was like that anime, ‘I Got My Girlfriend Pregnant But A Witch Interfered And I Abandoned Her But She Had My Baby!” Levi was sure you and him watched that during his anime marathon ages ago. You joked how silly it was and it’d never happen, but here you were.

It was hard for him to wrap his head around the fact that he and yourself had done the deed. That charm must have stirred some courage in him if you both ended spending the night together, and that night had resulted in his little spawn being conceived.

He could see the fear in tiny citrus eyes that stared back at him, his own little spawn afraid of him of all people. He had never felt the want and need to have something as precious as them.

He had retreated back into his room as he had sunk into his bedtub, left to wallow in his misery. He had finished at his pace on removing the unnecessary baby supplies from your room. It was disgusting that he had burned through his Akuzon account to spend on Maura. 

All the anime, especially Ruri-chan baby clothes and baby supplies were hard for him to let go of it. Being a devoted fan to his Ruri wasn’t as satisfying as to him now that he realized that being devoted to you and his child. At least he wanted to know the feeling of being one, if you’d let him.

All he wanted was his best friend back in his life again. 

He was the second to fall for Maura’s charms seeing how she played with his envy. She had convinced him that you’d never want to hang with a filthy otaku like himself, and that she ‘got’ him. She became his irrational thoughts come true when you couldn’t make time with him and he had cursed his sin for winning over your words.

He already knew he couldn’t compete with Diavolo and Barbatos as he was just lowly otaku. And the Purgatory Trio were able to care for you and your child without any commitment to lifelong anime and gaming. They were able to be there for you, unlike him.

He still had power as the Admiral of the Devildom Navy, but even that position would keep him away from you and his child if he was still on duty. Admiral or committed otaku. How could he devote a life with you and his child and still have both of the worlds he held?

It hit him now.

Would you want yourself and your child to be a part of his double lifestyle? He knew you probably wouldn’t if he was committed to those interests rather than his own flesh and blood and the only friend he had. He’d never be there and he’d choose his interests over you and the baby.

Would you have felt disappointed and disgust at the thought of him being jealous over all the time and attention you were giving to the baby instead of giving time for him and his wants and needs?

No.

You were the only true friend he had in his entire existence, and he wasn’t going to let you slip out his hands. Nor was he going to be like his father and throw out his children when they were against him.

Like the determined protagonist, he was going to do what was right. He was dishonoring the otaku code as he had sealed the return packaging for Akuzon returns and sent them out. He didn’t want to tie these disgusting reminders of Maura to his child. He would do better. For you, and his child. He wanted his best friend back in his life. 

What was the point of going back to his old life if weren’t there with him?

Satan

Satan’s first instinct was to wreck the entire house as it was where everything had gone to shit. Yet it would mean a part of you would have to go as well. Satan returns to your room, cat themed baby supplies, toys, and books sat, all from him.

Like Lucifer, he should have caught on sooner on what was going on as the brothers, one by one were falling for her charms and abandoning you. Perhaps the comment of learning from the Great Maddi was something he should have been more attentive.

Accursed witches.

“1...2...3...” Satan attempts to calm himself as he couldn’t find it in him to tear these items to shreds without leaving your room as a warzone. He had lost you already, he didn’t want to lose his child as well. If you two had ever decided to come back to them.

The night was a haze as he couldn’t remember anything, but as soon as he saw his child, staring back at him with those vibrant green eyes. You had been telling the truth the whole time, and he could only feel regret for not finding out about Maura’s plot sooner.

His anger within him were like ocean waves as they ebbed and flowed. He should have done more for you, a demon who valued knowledge, yet he had not foresee such a predictable outcome.

Carefully taking all the items in the room, Satan decides to leave them off at the local orphanage before he retreats back into his room. No little nuggets of knowledge or fantastical stories could distract him from the reality before him. 

Lucifer wasn’t a perfect parental figure to him growing up, and so he had to rely on his brothers to raise him. Particularly Mammon and Asmo. But the opportunity to be a parent to his own child was something he did not want to fuck up.

He wanted you and his child back, you both were worth more than the books and archives that he possessed. Finding a book from the human world, one on human anatomy. A rather large edition as he absentmindedly flipped through the pages. 

He wanted to be there with every step of your pregnancy, he wanted to experience the wonder that was birth with you. His own birth was an awful reminder to his brothers of what they had lost that fateful day. What would his child see their birth as?

He so wanted to distance himself from Lucifer, who he saw as a failed parental figure to him. And now it seemed he was the failed parental figure to his own child. His blood boiled at the thought of comparing himself to Lucifer once more, and for the last time, he would do everything in his power to not 

Perhaps his child was in better hands? His child would be in a more stable environment growing up with the Royals. Even the angels and Solomon would provide a calm upbringing compared to the hand he was dealt.

He’d devote himself to you and his child, he’d forgo his many pursuits of knowledge if it meant you come back. He’d take a break from the Anti-Lucifer League if you both would stay, even if he’d wanted his child to take a part in it. You had healed the rage in him and fixed his family, he now wanted to heal what he had broken. It was only fair that he’d earn his happy ending.

Asmodeus

Asmo was a mess when they had come home, never to see you or his baby again. You were the first to love him for who he was, in his beauty and his ugly sides. He couldn’t bring himself to clean your room right away. Eventually he would.

How could he though? He, along with Mammon had went all out in spending all the grimm in making Maura and her baby live like royalty. Having to let them go was such a waste, but none of that would fit you or the baby anyways. 

Being the Avatar of Lust, the knows full well of the consequences of the many flings he had over millennias upon millennias. He probably had thousands of children that he carelessly left behind in his wake.

Yet when it came to you, and he had saw his child in your arms, he could not fight the tears that followed. Of course you had been telling the truth, and he and his brothers didn’t believe you. Little light orange eyes that could only be his, had stared at him as he were looking at his own reflection.

The fact you had rejected him and his brothers when they had snapped out of their shared control, it hurt him more than anything. You were the only person besides his family that he truly loved, and he’d still want you even if you had banished him.

Asmo sneaks into your room and it seemed like the brothers had cleansed it of Maura’s presence. He lets out a quiet sigh as the familiarity of your room had returned for now, and decides to head into the closet. Inside, there were the maternity clothes and baby clothes that had been left behind. 

How did the charmer managed to be charmed? Asmo isn’t too sure but he’s pulling the clothes and tossing them into a pile. Warm tears were starting to blur his vision as he emptied your closet, all that was needed was your clothes to be put back in its place. 

It was beyond his wildest dreams to have a child with you. When he saw his child in your arms, his heart swelled with love and adoration. Yet, at the moment he could only feel so empty. 

You were more than just another conquest, you had seen the ugliest side of him, along with the angelic and caring side of him that had been buried deep within him. Your love for him mattered more to him than any of his adoring fans, and right now, he wanted nothing but to shower you and his baby with all the love he possessed.

Not only did you heal the rifts in his family, you had healed the many rifts of insecurities within in his own heart. You had reminded him many times over that he didn’t need to be perfect for anyone, but for himself. Yet he had wanted to be perfect only for you.

Between the sobs and sniffles, Asmo could only look at the mountain of clothes and accessories spent on. If only he could be the one that spent all his time and money on you and his baby,  

No amount of self care and partying could heal the hole you left in his heart as he knew you were in good hands. Diavolo, Barbatos, and the angels would treat you like the queen you were. And Solomon? Asmo had hoped he could find a way for Solomon to keep him in the loop on how you were doing.

He knew you wouldn’t come back so easily, but he could only hope you’d forgive them for something out of their control. He would throw himself at your feet, commit every fiber of his being to you and the baby if it meant you’d come back. 

Beelzebub

Beelzebub was reluctant to go back home, he desperately wanted to have you and his little one back to be a family once more. Again, it was his fault that he had lost those that he had loved.

He had lost two more family members, you and his little one. He had vowed himself as the family’s protector, yet he couldn’t protect you from himself, nor Maura’s charms over him and his brothers.

Remembering how it was him and his twin who guarded Maura, Beel felt how queasy stomach felt right now. He really was just the dumb muscle of family as he blindly followed his brothers without question.

Beel would help clean out your room of what was there for Maura, as he tried to find anything left of you. Clearly, that wasn’t the case after the day you announced your pregnancy and left the brothers for good.

How could he have not noticed the strange knots in his stomach and irregular hunger patterns? They were obviously from you as you had gone through your cravings phase. Throughout it all, did you eat well? Did Solomon feed your his gourmet atrocities? You must have been well fed since you got the best food from the three realms.

Cleaning out the room, he had found baby food that he had proposed, and with Lucifer and Satan giving the green light, had enough food for the baby’s first crucial years. Beel frowns at the baby food, of course he wouldn’t let it go to waste. Maybe he’ll join the brothers in taking all of it to the orphanage.

Staring at the cleansed room, Beel wished you were back here with his baby. Sure the baby shared his twin’s eye color, but he was observant to notice the light orange peach fuzz on their head. His own little bub, only to slip out of his grasp as like Lilith had done before.

Finding himself in the kitchen, he could only reminisce on the memories you both had spent here, to be never felt again. Finding the fridge full of food, yet he couldn’t find it in him to eat a thing. His hunger was directed elsewhere.

You were in good hands, weren’t you? You had Barbatos, and at one point he had wished Barbatos cloned himself so he’d be here at the House of Lamentation. You also had Simeon and Luke there, you and your baby had all the food he could possibly imagine he could be feasting on.

He was sure Diavolo and Solomon would take the place of your protectors, with the Prince and the sorcerer with 72 demons; you were protected no matter what. He had prided himself as the family’s protector, yet he couldn’t protect you, nor his family from Maura’s intentions.

There was a unending ache in his heart and in his stomach, and he knew the only way he could make it stop. He would do anything to have you back, he wanted you to cure this ache like you had done before.

He had wanted to explore the new possibilities with you and his baby. He had so many new places he wanted to show you and the baby. He wanted them to experience the many outings that he had done so many times with you.

He wanted to be your protector, and the protector for his child. He wasn’t going to lose any more people that he loved. If you were to come back, he would commit himself wholly to you and his baby. 

His family had been broken many times before, this time though. He would make damn sure that it would never be broken again.

Belphegor

Belphegor would have joined his twin in cleaning your room back, but he was too emotionally and physically exhausted from the fallout of what had happened. Their home didn’t feel like a home now that you had left them.

And he, once again was the cause of your demise.

Once the brothers had finished clearing your room of Maura’s things and her baby’s, only then did Belphie sneak into your room. Finding his way towards your bed, he collapsed.

The baby of the family sunk into the mattress, he was aware of the lack of your presence and he knew that trying to find any trace was hopeless. The last nine months were a whirlwind for him, and with the seven brothers. You were completely erased from their home.

He, along with his twin were the ones who had fiercely protected Maura as her personal guard dogs. He blamed his sin for not being aware of her charms as he and his brother were charmed together as one. 

He saw his child in your arms and even with his twins eyes, he knew that they were his. A terrible ache swelled in his heart as he guiltily tries to sleep the thought off, yet he could not. 

Belphegor may had the power to give people nightmares and put them into eternal sleep, yet he was quaking at the thoughts of his own nightmares of you both.

Your hatred of him would have bloomed back as quickly as you had forgiven him, and now would his child hate him as well? There were so many ways you could have punished the brothers for their incompetence and their baby would have been known of it.

He missed you, he missed the nights spent together whether taking naps in the attic together or staring up at the stars at the planetarium. And he wanted to share it with his little one now, but would you give him, or any of his brothers the chance?

You had repaired his broken family, and yet he and his brothers had broken you. And they were broken once more, when would the cycle of his family being broken over and over end? 

As he holds onto your pillow, he could only wish you were here holding him in comfort. But you were in good hands now, what reason could you come back to him and his family?

As much as he despised Lord Diavolo and Barbatos, as much as he loathed the angels having any influence on you, and as much as the thought of you trusting that shady sorcerer over him and his brothers...They were the ones that did look after you and now looking after the baby after you were cast out by them.

Why would you come back? Did the love for his family died the moment they all turned on you? Belphie held the pillow tighter as the tears dared to be shed at the thoughts of having to watch you and his child just be a fleeting image.

The pain of having to watch you and his child live your life without him was enough of a waking nightmare that he could only wish he could wake up from.

The weeks soon turned into months, and the brothers were no doubt miserable without you and the baby. The house had never been so quiet and empty as the brothers sat in the living room.

By now, the house had been cleared of all traces of Maura living there and your room had been restored to its former glory. The only thing that was missing was you and their baby to make the house whole once more.

Another day without both of you just wasn’t worth living as the brothers could only reflect on how they should have noticed the red flags. If they could go back in time and kick some sense into their old selves, none of this would have happened.

“I want to see MC and the baby again.” Beel breaks the silence as the brothers sadly groaned. Giving the brothers an apologetic look, Beel huffs as he gave up on his bag of newt chips.

It was apparent that no one spoke up about you since their banishment, and the brothers had resigned the fact that they’d never see you nor the baby again. Nothing was going to make it the same as it was.

“Why can’t we go see them? It’s not like we had any control of what happened.” Belphie mutters as he leans against his twin and closes his eyes for another nap.

The normally vibrant Asmo had been picking at his unpainted nails, “But...We haven’t been there at all, we might be here now, but she still doesn’t want us.” he sighed dejectedly.

Satan sighs as he shakes his head, and tossed his book aside. “Even if it was out of our control. We abandoned MC, and the baby. We couldn’t be there for her. There’s no doubt that she suffered greatly because of us, simple as that.”  

“Even if MC wanted to come back, why would she? She’s living the good life over there at the castle.” Levi mumbled as he had lost interest in his game and sighed as he slumped into the sofa next to the twins.

Mammon who had been uncharacteristically quiet since you had left, looked to the eldest as he always did in crisis. “Lucifer...Can’t ya do anythin? Anythin, whateva it takes to get ‘em back. I’ll stop bein a scumbag if tat’s what it takes to get em back.”  

Lucifer is silent for a moment. Anything? Memories of swearing allegiance to Diavolo flooded back to him. Would it have to happen to his brothers too, just to get you back? “There’s nothing we can do now. MC has made her decision...It may as well take a miracle that she decides to forgive us. We will wait until then.”

They gazed upon the family portrait that hung above the fireplace. There, you sat in the middle of the brothers, who had surrounded you in the shot. There was only one thing they wanted.

All they wanted was to be a family again.

It was a normal day in the Demon Lord’s Castle as you were in the middle of an routine appointment with one of the royal doctors as your little one was growing up quickly.

“Your child is growing just fine. Impressive for the little spawn, the avatar’s blood is strong in this one.” Felnara comments as your little one was already teething. “It seems the brews you had taken during the pregnancy haven’t affected your little one very much. Which is good.”

The weeks had gone by quickly as your little one was growing fast, it was so exciting, yet so bittersweet. They were looking more and more like their father, which made it harder for you to forget about the Avatars. You had wished they were here to see them reach their milestones. You wished he was there to see his child grow up. But with the brothers being banished, you knew it was for the best.

Deep down, you still missed them all.

You had traded in a normally chaotic life with the brothers for a calm, yet orderly life in the palace with Diavolo and Barbatos. It would have been full of hardship had you been a single parent, a human with a halfing would be daunting for anyone. But you were grateful for the Royals and the Purgatory Trio, who were there to assist you and let you have breaks from being a mother.

“MC.” Barbatos had come with tea and biscuits for you. Felnara bows to the steward, giving your little one a pinch on the cheek before leaving you both.

“Oh hi.” You reply back as if you were in a trance. But your little one’s squirming in your arms and their excited babbling in response to seeing Barbatos reminded you of the present.

Raising an eyebrow as he studies you, you had these fleeting moments as of late. As you let your child nibble on a biscuit, you kept your focus on them. Barbatos hums as he rubs his chin as he knew you too well. 

Since the day you found out the brothers had been banished from seeing you and your baby. 

“You miss them, don’t you? Especially him.” Barbatos figures as you look away guiltily and sigh. He chuckles lowly and shakes his head as he sits across from you. “Do you wish to see them again? Him?”

“I do...I know it’s foolish of me to. Since, you know...” You murmur as you wipe the crumbs off your child’s face and their eyes met your’s. There they were, a constant reminder of him. “I want them to know who their father is of course.”

“So you have forgiven them?” the butler speculates but you shake your head in response.

“I haven’t. Not yet. I know it was out their control, but I still felt the pain from what happened. But...” You look down at your child as they giggled at Barbatos and you sigh. 

“I may not want them in my life at the moment...But I can’t help but think about my little one. Somewhere along the line, they’ll ask me who their real father is. I don’t think it’ll change the fact that Lord Diavolo, Simeon, Solomon, and yourself are wonderful father figures to them. But, they’ll have to know the truth sooner or later.” You let out a frustrated groan as you could only imagine the many ‘what-ifs’ in the future when it came to coming clean to your kid about their absent father.

You felt worry lines creep across your forehead as Barbatos simply smiles, “I see. If that is the case, I will mention it to Young Master. He has feelings about father issues as well.” Barbatos states as he bows to you, leaving you with your thoughts.

Your baby fusses at the butler leaving them and you sigh as you kiss their head, “Well bub, what do you think?”

Now came the hard part.

Would you choose to forgive them for what they’ve done? And let them back into your life with their child? Or did you want to move on from them forever and forge a new future for the better of your child?

To be continued...?

[littencloud9]

Hello again....Do you mind if I ask your top 5 (or top 10) favorite moments from any media that you love (books, anime/manga, tv series, movies, games, etc)? Thanks if you want to answer. Sorry if I ask too much....

hihi!! oooh i'll see if i can narrow it down skdjfjhj. this isn't in any particular order i adore them all <3

moriarty the patriot - this scene i can't even begin to explain it. it was so well written and emotional. i think it captured the message of yuumori incredibly well. you did bad, you were wrong, now work to be better. a brand new start. you don't have to forgive yourself, you just have to to move on, and i'll do it with you. absolutely lovely scene :( <3

bungou stray dogs - ranpo's invitation to yosano fucking CINEMATIC okay. i cried. the way it was set up, with ranpo kneeling to yosano's level and promising her a place to stay. the lighting of this scene giving it such a hopeful look. the emotional impact. they are my favourite duo in bsd and their dynamic is sooo precious to me and i just. one of my fav scenes in bsd EVER!!!

haikyuu - tsukishima's block THIS WAS JUST PHENOMANAL KSFHJ. the POWER. the SCREAM. the perfect moment for his character arc, the 'it' moment. oh my god. i only very recently got into haikyuu and this scene lives in my head rent free

vanitas no carte - s2 finale fight THEY WERE INSANE FOR THIS. this entire fight had me on the edge of my seat. if it's one thing vnc is an expert in it's setting a scene. the rain the lighting the FEAR through the screen. this shit was RAW. when vanoé got into the 'ill kill you thatll shut you up' position i literally screamed. vanitas' turmoil vs noé's devastation oh my godddd. domi unlocking her powers. jeanne's entire role. there was so much happening and GOD it was amazing i loved it

jujutsu kaisen - so start by saving me sigh. LIFE GETS BETTER DONT GET INTO JUJUTSU KAISEN. this panel lives in my head rent free and i think if i ever see it animated i'd burst into tears. megumi saying this to yuuji means so much to their characters okayyy two people who have always been saving each other, megumi who watched yuuji die in front of him, IT MEANS SO MUCH. i would ramble more but alas i dont wanna turn this into an essay

link click - cheng xiaoshi and qiao ling vs xiao ma BANGERRRR SCENE they mean the absolute world to me and i love that they were clearly protecting each other throughout the whole fight. i love the insane team up. qiao ling grabbing xiao ma's leg so cxs could punch him. this damn stand thing she used. the fluidity of the scene etc etc. just an amazing fight sequence overall i feel

moriarty the patriot - james bonde's reveal INSANE PLOT TWIST. bonde is my favourite yuumori character and i just. this was so funny. fym he chose bonde because of the bonds he made with the lord of crime gang IT'S SO CUTE 😭 i have nothing to say i just adore bonde and this is thus one of my fav scenes ever

moriarty the patriot - the moriarty brothers reunite CRIED FR. i just. the EMOTIONS. the way they did everything for each other and had to separate for three years and how both albert and louis thought william was dead and how none of them really ever forgave themselves but they forgive each other, so thats all that matters, isn't it? and how soothing this hug was, like finally finding your home again, and how THEY ARE FAMILY ough im so ill. i adore this moment

bungou stray dogs - you are but a child this scene hurt me then healed me. i actually cried so hard. their dynamic is so important to meee and they're both learning to care and love for the first time and they found comfort in each other and ranpo is just a CHILD and fukuzawa helps him see that it's okay and and. sniffles. bring them back asagiri this is a threat

vanitas no carte - i've decided to stay by your side, vanitas this is just because i'm in love with noé and i think vanitas realised things about himself here too/j. but on a serious note i think this was one of the greatest turning points in their relationship. i like the vibe of them on the tower and the sun rise coming up when they swear to stay together. cinematic asf

[ashintheairlikesnow]

hey hi! I remember you're interested in cults and so i had a book recommendation! unfortunately it is written by j. k. Rowling, who we all know to be a terrible person, but her most recent book in the Robert Galbraith (pen name) Cormoran Strike series, The Running Grave, does have detailed and interesting depictions of intense indoctrination and cults in it for a lot of the book, as one of the main characters go undercover. I absolutely dont suggest support j.k. and I know u wouldnt, I deal with my conscience by getting it from the library and side eyeing any underlying opinions in her books. but I thought you might be interested because it is, I think, a scary and interesting portrayal of a fictitious cult and I'd be interested in your thoughts. :)

<3

I don't know that I'll read it, to be honest, Anon - even before she threw herself headfirst into the TERF volcano her writing style didn't always resonate with me - but I do like the idea of cults in fiction in general! Thanks for the rec.

Also, since I think her adult books tend to be mysteries, please let me recommend a totally unrelated author/series that I love:

Firewatching, Nighthawking, and Cold Reckoning by Russ Thomas.

The series all focuses on the same main character, Detective Sergeant Adam Tyler. Includes some really fun twists and turns, Adam Tyler being a dry sarcastic bastard, some sweet queer love moments undercut by Adam's way of never quite being able to give his lovers back what they gave to him, and an overarching mystery that only slowly reveals itself through the stories, book by book.

I've already preordered the next book in the series for when it's released, and all three published ones have a place of honor in my shelf (next to @whump-tr0pes's Honor Bound books I've bought so far, actually).

EDIT: Literally just realized it's available in the US now I think! I need to double-check my delivery date.

EDIT EDIT: Yesssssss it's coming on sunday

[stargirlie25]

ALL THE FRIGING BOOKS IM WAITING FOR

ACOTAR 6- Dont get me started on this. Just waiting for elucien and gwynriel.

I dont think this is real i just wanted to put a picture btw.

Lauren is my roman empire and i own all her books CEPT THIS ONE GURL GIVE EM TO ME

I have been waiting for Lexington's story forever and my babies are finally coming! Then i will be dying to read Sierra x xavier book

I have been waiting for Ava Nash and Eli King ever since Ruthless empire dropped. Eli is for sure going to give Jonathan king vibes and i simply can not wait for Cole to go nuts about his new son in law. ALSO I NEED REMI x ARIELA MOMENTS PLEASE! The man on the cover that is Eli better be finest out of them all.

LIZ AND WES BABIES ARE COMINGGG AND OMG THE ´´SHES NOT YOU´´ sign just kill me. ITS SECOND CHANCE AND IN COLLEGE TOOOOO

AHHAHAHAJAJHAHSH*UYEGUIWID GIBSIE AND CLAIRE FINALLY! SUNSHINE x SUNSHINE TROPE. BUT its one of those tropes where the boy hides his pain with a smile :( .

LIZZIE YOUNG MY FAV TOMMEN GIRL EVER!!!! The release date is not confirmed and i don´t think she will be selling the people covers anymore so this is not the confirmed cover. IK she ends up with hughie unless a miracle happens but i just want her to be happy+katie. Still praying every day for Lizzyfeely tho.

Sloane is probably going to be my favorite king of sin girlie because i said so. Im so excited to read about her and xaviers dynamic. I think his name is pronounced haveeair?

Im so excited for this. 1. Its about Asher who i have been waiting for since Twisted hate. 2. Its Ana huang 3. its about soccer. Soccer boys are my favorite sports boys and are the best. I feel like I've never seen soccer romance so im excited.

So i might have said i did not want to read haunting adeline no matter what but then some force on earth made me read it and i love its ok? PLEASE DONT KILL ME!!! Anyways i heard it came out yesterday but still put it here.

I'm literally so hyped for this yall dont even know. I love melanie´s writing sm. Like she just dominates me whole.

How does she release a book like this and proceeds to make us wait for the next one. LIKE MISS MAAM

I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR HENRY EVER SINCE BOOK 1 AND OMG THE FOLKLORE CARDIGAN IMA CRY

If you have not everybody go read all these series right now. Except acotar series. Its better to read it after the next book is out.

[dragon-prince-6-3]

Dragon prince season 6 review spoiler

I like season 6 i just dont like 4,5 and with 6 just copying season 3 and getting the things out 4,5 introduced i think the whole think was a little Bit pointless.

For example how our Standpunkt stands at the end of 3 and 6 are the same.

viren still death, the beeing gone, claudia as a dark mage probably getting manipulated by aaravos, soren having conflicated feelings about viren, raylum together, the sun elves working together with the humans, our sun Coupe loving each other, the dragon duo reunited and we still dont knowing how to kill aaravos.

The only difference is that claudia has a boyfriend, sun Coupe Married, katolis is destroyed, aaravos is free, his backstory and runan is back.

For that we needed 3 seasons when the first three handled it much better. I could forgive it if season 6 not ignored the 4,5 but made them important. Because all the things which are set up in it for season 7 are new things with the only Comeback to 4,5 is to disregard its plot. For example sir sparklepuff came in 4 so he could meaningless die in 6. Closing arcs who were started in 4 is one thing. But if consequence of the first 3 season are still felt to this day the consequence of the new actions should at least give use some inpact.

Right know i can watch 1-3 and than 6 and will not lose anything important. the blame is mostly on 4,5. But If 6 made actions in 4,5 relevant we could at least look back on those and see the point in it. For example make sir sparklepuff death and viren arc actually count for the next arc. If it Ends here it makes 4,5 uninportant for the finale.

If you watch avatar every book is its own arc but it still tells one story. If you could just skip most of earth because things set up in there will be pointless for the finale it would lose quality Overall.

Thats why season 6 is still good for the new things its introduced, but fails in its job to make me care about the other arcs. It didnt even have to finish them. Just tease use that there werent meaningless. For example The beeing death will lead to some bigger twist in season 7. The sun war will end with aaravos getting his own army. Etc

Ride now i feel like watching 3 again. Even if it has a good Tone to it, it just makes me feel like standing still. I am still excited for 7 but i just wished more interesting things would have been set up for it. Some foreshadowing for an evil plan. Some diffrent side glances on who will stand at which side on the last conflict. Some implications or plans for a defeat we can fall back on. So that the last season just can sit back and injoy its reeping of planned out storytelling. Like avengers where we had each infinity stone introduced, with hints at thanos and his end goal, before the the last movie was just a battle where we saw everything came together.

I would have start the sun elves rebellion with it leading into the conclusion that the army would work with aaravos in the future. There could be other people siding with aaravos like the pirates or blood huntress or even other dark mages. ( the battle right now is all dragons, all humans against aaravos and claudia, which is a Bit lacking if it should be a more complicated issue on perspective and not a one evil entity against the Rest of the world. I started watching the serie because of its conflict between human and elves and the morality of dark magic. Not because i want the Rest of the world share one goal in defeating the devil who can be blamed for everything. ) That viren now is against aaravos and will help team callum. That there is a way to defeat aaravos but it has to do with dark magic. Soren saw viren help so he is okay with asking viren with help defeating aaravos ( viren teaching callum the theory dark magic ). It could be that callum will be the one to performe the dark magic to kill aaravos. Because the Ritual is somehow prewenting viren from using magic on aaravos, having to let callum have to do it at the last Moment even if the group planned to let viren do it ( the Ritual, Viren redemption, callum foreshadowing lead to this ). Claudia is now attached to terry which aaravos plans to use somehow. Aaravos has some plan he needs an archdragon for, which was why he was after zim and now gone for sol Regam. Everything is connected from 1 to 6 with 7 beeing the battle. we will know what season 7 contains with some possible twist in there.

Right now i just know they will fight, but Lack any actuall Investment or Motivation for theory making if old things will just be discarded anyway and the whole plot just realy on new things it will produce.

[angelanimedesaray]

📚,🥐, and 🦋for the truth and dare game!

Hellooo! It's good to see you, thank you so much for gracing my inbox 🥰 and for an ask game too, ack, it's been a good week 🥰

Okay! Yes! The questions.

📚 What's the last thing you wrote down in your notes app?

Okay, two things. 1) I am super old school, i like physical books, physical notes, i have three corkboars, index cards on pins with tags handing from them, stacks of partially used notebooks, and sticky notes literally covering the wall and desk and bookshelf within arms reach of the computer. So this is not a notes app entry, cause i dont use it, its the last sticky note i put on the wall. And 2) this is going to be spoilers for one of my series because it was dialogue that occurred to me for near endgame of one of my big stories. But I think the fact that it's massively out of context even for those actively reading the series because it's so far down the road HELPS.

So, having said that, what it was, is:

Erwin, thank you, for allowing me to step into the light and take this journey. Hange, I'm forever grateful for all your help in unfurling my wings. And Levi...everything I have ever been and could be, I give to you. The wind lifting my wings ever higher.

🥐 Name one internet reference that will always make you laugh.

Honestly, any good placed reference will always land right with me. I'm the fool that always quotes road work ahead, I can't help it lol. I'm also a sucker for Sanders Vines. BUT for this I chose a Tumblr post about video games from back in the day that is 100000% my playstyle in dnd and video games hahahaha (which one depends on how badly actual stealth goes haha).

"I love that there are two approaches to stealth games. It's either no bodies for the guards to notice or no guards left to notice the bodies." "No one can call the cops if there's no one to call the cops."

🦋 Share something that has been on your heart and mind lately.

Oof, um...it's hard not to get heavy on this one 😅 I mean, I've been thinking a LOT about the deeper topics of life, ngl, which makes sense with a lot of what's going on in my life right now. My dad's been having a lot of medical issues pop up, mothers day is tomorrow and I've been ruminating on a pretty deep letter to write her to go with some flowers I bought her, my brother LITERALLY just graduated high school and I spent the ceremony comforting my little sister whose distraught and told me she's going to be the only one left, like...oof. lots of thoughts about life right now on the one hand. On the other, funnily enough, just yesterday I was talking to my dad, who watched aot as well, and we were talking about the overarching theme of breaking cycles of hatred and how it unfortunately went over the heads of a LOT of people who end up in a twist of bitter irony further illustrating the point 🤷‍♀️, and that was a pretty deep conversation because of my dad's life experiences and what he teaches for a living now, so yeah. Pfft, just "light" over coke floats and tuxedo Sundays in a hidden corner ma and pop ice cream shop conversation, you know 😅

Coincidentally, this question comes at an interesting weekend cause it's been the weekend for heavy topics in Angel's head so far, and there's still a whole nother day to get through 😅

Thanks for the questions!!! I think this is the most attention an ask game I've posted has gotten and I'm loving it 🥰

Ask Game Here

[oshidorifuufu]

04/07/2024

wow, a wild header!!

in terms of japanese studying, today i did:

anki reviews

bunpro reviews + 3 new grammar points

added 10+ new anki cards for tmr

kanji review + a couple new kanji

and i've been watching streams (currently 4 hours into kanae's eldin ring vod)

i've started learning kanji separately again. there's a lot of discourse online about if learning kanji separately is useful or not. but for me personally i enjoy it and it feels like good addition to my routine, so i'll continue to do it. plus i think you need kanji for the JLPT? and i'm taking the N3 in july next year.

alsooo, i'm really feeling glad i bought bunpro lifetime, tbh its way worth it and it is a bit pricey but it definitely pays off. but on the opposite side im a bit peeved because i'd love to use yomichan/tan, because i heard it has a one click add-to-anki feature and that would be massively helpful to me. but my windows laptop has stopped charging and im left with a chromebook that can't even download the anki app, so i'm still stuck with ankiweb and i can't use yomichan...its really disappointing.

the header is fitting actually because i've been meaning to read more of yotsuba. the only problem is i cant buy books physically and its kind of impossible to find the japanese version of the manga online. i only have 3 physical volumes of the series, 2 in japanese and i can only reread them so much....then again that might be good because i have so many resources for sentence mining right now that its a bit hard to keep up with, i have 2 full novels im trying to get through, one physical + i just cant resist the urge to mine every word i see that i dont know when consuming jp content

other stuff:

went on another walk today...i twisted my ankle and it still hurts...plus my knee hurts a bit too. i tried to drink more water today because recently my mother got some water bottles that are like half a gallon. i cant drink the whole thing so i've been filling it up abt quarter the way but i'm still struggling with that. it's really discouraging. madd hasn't been so tough on me lately, on a good note.

[armin-supremacy]

nobody asked but I'm here to provide anyway

Shades + Songs I Associate W/The Demon Bros

basically, what makes my brain think of the boys

first up on the list

Lucifer - Garnet + ICON by Twice

As much as I do not vibe with Lucifer, I can't argue that this mother fucker is an icon. Truly forever keeping bitches pressed.

Mammon - Old Gold + 8 Letter by Why Don't We

This man spent nearly 15-16 lessons and had to watch is DIE before he considered telling us he loved us without the whole 'don't get it twisted' shit. A simp for life who struggles to tell us his feelings.

Leviathan - Prussian + just pretend by Bad Omens

I DONT KNOW WHAT IT IS ABOUT THIS DAMN SONG BUT IT JUST SCREAMS LEVIATHAN TO ME. MAYBE ITS THE BRIDGE, MAYBE ITS THE PRECHORUS IDK

Satan - Viridian + Let Me Sign by Robert Pattinson

First off, forever pissed Robert didn't drop a full studio version of this damn song. You can't tell me this song doesn't make you picture yourself cuddled up to Satan on a rainy day reading a book together.

And if you dont, you're a liar.

Asmodeus - Rosewater + Stars are Blind by Paris Hilton

It's no secret Asmodeus craves someone who loves him for him. This song is perfect for him.

Beelzebub - Tangerine + Big Boys by SZA

This song was made for him. I don't accept criticism.

Belphegor - Montana Grape + Judas by Lady GaGa

It's no secret I have a special soft spot for Belphie. He's my favorite. Now, seeing as he unalived us, does this really need explanation?

ta da! I needed a bit of a break from putting all my brain power into the final part of the trust in me series so I decided to whip up this lil treat for you 💜

[theblacktigrr]

Another one 🤲

Also I definitely probably lost my point in there lol, it's a long read so beware

The whole thing, the whole point of the series as told by Katniss is to save Prim. That is the end all be all. We start with volunteering for Prim, Katniss tries her best to save Prim. This fact is glossed over the movies, it becomes a love triangle with battles. And that's ok! It makes for an entertaining film.

But. Prim's safety was never guaranteed. The moment Katniss vowed to protect her was the moment we sealed her fate. Chapter 1, Katniss mentions that she tries to protect Prim. Chapter 2, Prim's name is called. "The odds had been entirely in her favor. But it hadn't mattered." Chance is not a thing here, it was fate. Prim had to die. She could not exist in this world. Prim represents innocence, that's no secret. More specifically, I belive Katniss' innocence. They are literally ripped away from each other during the first Reaping. Katniss is 16 at this time. She them has to endure the horrors of the games, yippee, but when she returns home? It's different. Prim and her mother are more than happy to live in the new fancy house, but Katniss is already isolating herself in the forest and their old house, she realizes thay they dont understand, Prim is safe yes but she has lost that vital connection, because of what she went through. By the time of the Quater Quell she is only 17, still just a child. And Prim is still young but Katniss notes a change in her, noticing that she is not the same frail little girl. Fast forward, to the last book. Free from the games? Yes, but now forced to be a symbol for a rebellion she doesn't want, Katniss leans on Prim like a crutch. She is clinging to the last bit of "normalcy" she has. To the idea that things can be ok, and she can be free. But now we know for sure that Prim must die. Like I said before, Peeta is now an integral part of Katniss. Prim while still beloved doesn't even portray her original ideal. Gone is the shy little girl, picture of innocence. Know we have the doctor, full of hope? Yes, but changed by the cruel reality they live in. Yada yada, she ends up in the capitol on that day, where Katniss watches her get blown up! Everything she worked to protect, the whole reason she endured this nightmare, obliterated. So that's some mental scaring, she also suffers horrible burns! Spends a while in a hospital, we don't know how long g exactly but she need skin grafts and stuff. Became temporarily mute because of the emotional trauma.

So to rewind and go back to point A.

Prim had to die. Not for the shock value or some epic twist. But because that is the reality when children are sent to war. There is no happy ending where almost everyone makes it out alive and lives happily ever after. You come out scarred, and traumatized, you've lost your innocence, maybe even a portion of your humanity. There were no winners and lovers in the Hunger Games.

Only those that had to live with the consequences

[noangeleither]

"About the Blogger" Meme

Thanks for tag @bioloyg <3

Star Sign(s): Scorpio Sun (I literally never remember my other ones, I should probably memorize them)

Favorite Holidays: Christmas and Halloween. even tho i find it harder to feel the holiday spirit up until the very last minute i love christmas so much. and not even to be corny but its true that when you grow up you start to care less about the presents and more about the memories with family and friends.

i grew up in a religous family so my parents didnt let me celebrate halloween but i still love it with my whole heart. im a november baby so i love fall and all things eerie and spooky.

Last Meal: McDonalad's snack wrap and one of those new fruit splash drinks. its exam season so ofc im eating like shit. will probably eat some ice cream when i get home after my physiology exam in 30 minutes. so yay to junk food

Current Favorite Musician: currently ive been really enjoying pinkpantheress. her new album is literally 10/10. she has such a knack for melodies, and her lyrics are very eerie and poetic while maintaining a cutesy 2000s vibe. shes also a sampling queen.

honoarble mentions: ive been listening to a lot of janet, rosalia and red velvet these days too.

Last Music Listened To: feedback by janet Jackson. bro istg you have to clear the area when this comes on, i cant help but dance

Last Movie Watched: last movie i watched was bride wars. honestly a classic movie, so funny and i love wedding movies so i reccomend it. that was a month ago tho, which is crazy.

Last TV Show Watched: like the wonderful person who tagged me i watched the bear last. i just rewatched s02e01. ive been doing this thing where i'll either rewatch episodes for research, boredom or just because i get sucked in rewatching a specific clip that makes me want to rewatch the whole episode.

Last Book/Fic Finished: last fic i finished was keeping up with the berzattos by chefskiss40 on ao3. ive reread it like 3 or 4 times now and im patiently waiting for an update. its just so good, i love the domestic vibes. im not a fan of seeing my ships start families in canon but in fic? oh i could read that forever

Last Book/Fic Abandoned: not really abandoned but sorta modified? the sydcarmy high school au i started in the summer was a good concept but i didnt really have a concrete idea where the overall story would go. BUT im planning on maybe doing a series which is just a collection of one shots of them in HS? OR i plan on doing a multi-chapter shorter story that is an AU that also takes place in a high school setting but with a twist that i dont want to reveal bc that would mean i would have to commit to it. lol

Currently Reading: nothing. unless you count all these articles/research papers I've been reading for my health research studies course (think i aced the exam yesterday so maybe all the pain was worth it)

Last Thing Researched for Art/Writing/Hyperfixation: doesnt really count as research but basically i was on pinterest creating boards for 3 different fics. was researching wedding dresses for a nat & syd fic where they go wedding dress shopping (will be finishing after my last exam). also just creating two other boards to inspire myself to start the au i teased above and my bones and all AU/retelling i talked about last month. i want to watch some more cannibalism media and maybe research about 80s pop culture and politics before i dive into that one fully.

Favorite Online Fandom Memory: ummmm probably just being a menace on twitter with my friends that i made through being a reveluv. we talk every single day, and they are some of the best people i know. maybe the times we used to get up early or stay up late for comeback season, watch the kcharts being updated hourly and crack jokes about group we liked and didnt like

Favorite Old Fandom You Wish Would Drag You Back In/Have A Resurgence: technically THG is having a resurgence right now but im way too into the bear to really get back into it and also i havent seen the new movie. im excited to once exam season is done but i feel like the hype is already dying so i dont see myself getting too into it.

Favorite Thing You Enjoy That Never Had an Active or Big "Fandom" but You Wish It Did: uhhhh cant think of one tbh.

Tempting Project You're Trying to Rein In/Don't Have Time For: honestly every sydcarmy fic idea i have that would take multi chapters to flesh out. one shots are very safe for me. but im praying i'll commit to it. esp the bones and all AU lol

this was fun

tagging some ppl to do this too, only if you want!

@amieraisposting @chefkids @sennenrose @sydneys-adamu @sydneyscarm @happylikeasadsong @chansoooo1-blog

[moonlightdancer26]

Hello There.

this is kinda weird and meta and i cannot tell if it’s written coherently so plz just hear me out

so yk how J*R admitted that, when she was writing OOTP at the same time as the first movie was being made, she made a lot of the changes/revelations we see for severus’ character bc she liked alan rickman’s portrayal so much? her only valid opinion

prior to that it is much easier to see the relationship between james/the marauders and severus as ‘slytherin vs gryffindor antagonistic’

(the prank (PoA) is imo played off more as ‘sirius was in the wrong by organising it, james did better by following severus and getting him out of there’ without input from OOTP)

anyway, this is all to say that pre-OOTP james and post-OOTP james feel like very different characters, bc one is very much good-guy-in-the-making and the other is the worst of the worst, and i think it can be brought back to J*R’s inability to write interesting slyth vs gryff rivalries without resorting to bullying and harassment from one party (the way she writes slytherins makes me want to smash my head against walls)

what do you think? bc this is coming from a kinda biased marauders stan, pro-james perspective, even though i dont hate young!sev in the slightest

i feel like a lot of my issues with this whole thing can be summed up by The TERF Bitch Can’t Write, And Now We Suffer Because Of It

I’ve heard of that claim before, and iirc I’ve seen a source of her saying that a long time ago, but could you tell where cause I’d love to confirm this? 😭 She had already had Snape’s arc planned out because during the earlier films Alan wanted to quit his role because playing Evil Greasy Potions Master might get him type-casted (since he’s played villains before) and he didn’t want that, so Rowling decided to tell him about the grandiose reveal in DH, which is what made him stay.

what do you think? bc this is coming from a kinda biased marauders stan, pro-james perspective, even though i dont hate young!sev in the slightest

I actually think that was the point. In the earlier books we’re led to believe that Snape had no good reason for hating Harry’s dad and only resented James (and Harry) because he was a popular, loved Gryffindor and a talented Quidditch player. It was a bit of a red herring, and in PoA when Sirius and Remus are introduced we’re told about the prank and since Harry already hates Snape, obviously loves his father, and wants to know more info about his parents because he now knows two people who were the closest of friends with them, he assumes Sirius is right and evil Sneep Snoop is wrong and was just being petty as per usual. So for the first five books the readers are like “yo James is the perfect awesome guy and Snape is the jealous bad one,” which is increased when we remember James is a Gryffindor and Severus was a Slytherin, we sort of get the same image as Harry and Draco. It’s an extremely black-and-white image, the dawning realisation that it might not be just a simple rivalry/jealously-issue is what makes SWM in the 5th book so jaw-dropping to all of us, because we actually realise that it wasn’t the whole story. “Snape was right all along” is a super scary realisation for Harry, especially since it makes him completely rethink the image of his father that’s been painted for him by basically everyone around him, everyone except the one character Harry despises most of all.

This isn’t to say JKR doesn’t make shit decisions in writing, I 100000% get what you’re saying, but I think this was deliberately written that way so it can to be a big build-up to the plot twist. (Doesn’t make it very well-written, but it was still her intention ig.) and tbh the fact that we have so many unanswered questions/concerns about the plot holes/arcs/writing/etc and have to fill it in with the most plausible assumptions really goes to show how overrated JKR’s writing is and how her series has been enriched mostly by its fandom.

Also dw you’ve gotten your point across very well, I always get concerned with my writing because I’m worried it just sounds like a pile of unorganised bullshit 💀