#i mean it depends on what kind of illness you have if it's serious or just a bad cold

[adore-gregor]

How being sick messes with your mental health is sometimes worse than the illness itself honestly 😕

[creature-wizard]

Some things associated with New Age that aren't inherently bad

Since this blog can get kinda heavy sometimes, and because there's some people out there who think that anything remotely adjacent to New Age is evil and must be banished forever, I figured I'd write something on elements it includes that aren't necessarily bad.

Its general concept of God and divinity

New Age beliefs typically posit that God, or Source, effectively split itself into many different souls in order to have different kinds of experiences. There's nothing wrong with this model of divinity in itself, since it doesn't by itself imply anything hateful or suggest any kind of action that might lead to harm. Where it gets messed up is when people start claiming that if you're suffering, it's because you deliberately chose to have this kind of experience before you incarnated. That's just victim blaming, and it's wrong.

Energy healing

Energy healing on its own is a harmless practice, and many people do report feeling better for doing it. Dismissing energy healing as inherently bad in itself would be like dismissing prayer for recovery as inherently bad. It's really not. The problem is always when people start believing they should only rely on energy healing or prayer, or fall into the belief that pharmaceutical medicine is sinful or an evil conspiracy.

Listening to relaxing tones

No, those "healing frequencies" probably won't cure any serious ailments. But that doesn't mean they can't make you feel more relaxed or help you focus. You don't have to subscribe to any specific belief system to listen to these audios.

Glossolalia

The New Age practice of speaking in light languages is a form of glossolalia, which basically involves relaxing and speaking whatever sounds immediately come to you. Doing it can be cathartic and relaxing, and you don't need to subscribe to any specific belief system to do it.

Tarot reading

Reading tarot cards doesn't require subscribing to any specific spiritual belief system. Nor do you even need to be spiritual at all; you can read tarot cards with the perspective that what you're doing is prompting your own mind to consider things from new angles.

Meditation

Meditation is known to have beneficial effects, and doing it doesn't require subscribing to any particular belief system. Yes, it's a problem when somebody subscribes meditation as a cure-all, or use it as a form of spiritual bypassing, but that's a problem with the teacher, not the practice itself.

Eating more plant foods

Provided you don't have any allergies or intolerances, eating more fruits, vegetables, nuts, and the like usually isn't a bad idea. The problem with New Age is when it effectively moralizes food by decreeing certain foods "high vibrational" or "low vibrational," or when it's pushing conspiracy theories about modern processed food items being intentionally poisoned to block our psychic abilities or keep us dependent on the healthcare system. And obviously, it's appallingly ableist to tell someone that they could cure a chronic illness by switching to an all-natural vegan diet or something.

Belief in aliens

It's a big universe, and it's not unreasonable to think we're not alone in it, and that maybe there's beings who are observing us. The problem is when belief in aliens becomes part of a conspiratorial worldview that scapegoats certain groups of people for the world's problems, displaces real history, and misuses other people's traditions and beliefs.

Belief that things can and will get better

To paraphrase Terry Pratchett's words in The Hogfather, we sometimes need to believe in things that aren't true (such as justice and mercy) so they can become true. Believing that things can change makes people feel like their efforts are worth something. Meanwhile, when everyone's got a doomer attitude nothing will change for the better because nobody will even try.

One problem with New Age's optimism in specific is that they tend to believe that things getting better is contingent on converting a large number of people to New Age spirituality, which includes getting them to accept a large number of conspiratorial beliefs that target and harm vulnerable minorities, and/or distort and erase the actual spiritual beliefs of people from different cultures (many of whom are marginalized minorities and/or have been severely harmed by colonialism already).

Another problem is when you get the whole 5D ascension thing going on. 5D ascension is basically the New Age version of the Rapture, and just like the Rapture, it's always said to be right around the corner, but it never materializes. (If you'd like examples, here are predictions for 2012 and 2015.) Very concerningly, New Agers often list a number of physical and mental health symptoms as "ascension symptoms." They were claiming this as far back as the 2010s, when December 31, 2012 was supposed to be the big day. (Here's an example.)

Basically, hope and belief that things can get better is important - but it's also important not to hang our hopes (and medical decisions) on supernatural predictions that have already failed multiple times.

Wanting to promote compassion and understanding between people

This is a great thing to want! The problem with New Age isn't that they want to spread peace and harmony, but rather the way they want to do it without really listening to the people they supposedly want to help. You can't, for example, genuinely fight colonialism if you're engaging in cultural appropriation and misrepresenting their spiritual traditions - you're an active part of the problem. Promoting compassion and understanding begins with you shutting up, listening, and learning without imposing your own preconceptions or reacting from your ego. You're not doing this if you're looking for mythology to project aliens onto, or dismissing anything you don't want to hear as a conspiracy.

And here's some critical thinking tips before you go

When you're evaluating any belief system or practice, it's always important to remember that belief and practice are not the same thing. Most of the time the practices are harmless in and of themselves; the actual danger comes from the conspiratorial and morally polarized worldviews many practitioners also subscribe to. Nobody's ever died from putting rose quartz in their room or getting a reiki session. They have died from refusing evidence-based medical care because someone convinced them that the health care industry is a scam and will also separate them from Source.

When it comes to beliefs themselves, ask yourself what kind of narratives they're upholding. If they basically promote the same kind of conspiratorial narratives used by Nazis, witch hunters, or far right Christians to justify their hatred and violence, that's a pretty strong sign that this belief is bullshit. But of course, there's a pretty stark difference between believing that aliens could be out there, and believing blood-drinking reptiles have invaded the Earth.

[would-this-pokemon-be-a-friend]

Hey! Love the blog and all the research and writing you do to make it!

I don't think my best boy, Donphan would make a good pet due to size, but what about his Baby Blue self, Phanpy?

[Thank you, I really appreciate it!]

Phanpies, unfortunately and perhaps surprisingly, would not make great pets for most owners. When it comes down to it, these pokémon are difficult to care for and exceptionally dangerous, no matter how good natured they seem.

On a more positive starting note, phanpies are a good size for a house pet at only a foot and eight inches tall. They’re rather heavy, which could make transporting them a headache for some owners, but it’s nowhere near as big a problem as it might be for some pokémon. That being said, this species’ housing needs could potentially cause some serious issues, despite their small size. Wild phanpies are avid diggers, which shouldn’t be surprising to anyone familiar with Ground-Type pokémon. This species tends to make their homes on riverbanks, where they dig themselves deep, vertical holes, about which they are rather possessive (Ruby). They spend a lot of time in the water as well (Crystal, Sapphire). This means that, in order to provide a phanpy with a simulation of their wild habitat, you would need to give them access to both a body of water to play in and an area where they can safely build a nest. This will, of course, be beyond the means of some owners. It really depends on the context of where and how you live. On the bright side, phanpies have some pretty impressive natural cooling methods, so they have no issue living in warmer climates: they have been observed using their large ears as fans to cool themselves off when needed (Emerald).

Now, phanpies are certainly playful and friendly, which is great for pets. The way that their playfulness and friendliness manifests, however, could be problematic for you. Like real-world elephants, phanpies enjoy giving themselves showers with water stored in their trunks (Crystal). In fact, they’re pretty insistent on it, hating being dirty or muddy after playtime (Scarlet). This could, obviously, cause you some problems if you don’t want to get water and mud all over your home. Any potential phanpy adopters had best be ready to get sprayed with water too, since wild phanpies are known to give each other showers out of the kindness of their hearts (and, perhaps, occasionally, with mischievous intent) (Sapphire). Unfortunately, their showering habits are the least of your worries! Phanpies are very affectionate and playful pokémon, and they swinging their trunk around wildly and bumping it into those they love to show it (Gold, Silver). This becomes a real problem when you consider this species’ startling strength! The pokédex makes the bold report that a loving bump from a phanpy is enough to “send you flying” or even shatter your bones (Silver, Violet)! Despite their small size, these pokémon can easily pick up and carry a full-grown human on their back, which may be occasionally fun but equally inconvenient at other times (Diamond/Pearl/Platinum). The risk of accidental injury with a phanpy is dangerously high, which makes them an ill-fit for a lot of potential owners.

Additionally, phanpies surprising strength makes moves like Rollout, Bulldoze, and Slam easily lethal, making playtime (or calming down an tantruming individual) incredibly risky. While they are good-natured, I can’t in good conscience recommend a phanpy as a pet to anyone, given the incredible threat to their own safety that they would be taking on. This is a species best observed from a healthy distance, unless you have specialized training for caring for them.

[justme315]

Caught 1/?

!Warning!

Fear, angst, pain, cursing, mention of drugs, g/t, graphic story of a crazy giant, mention of fatal vore, a mention of someone being suicidal, ¿gigantophobia?, trauma, bad response dough to fear

------------------------

The world was not normal anymore. Everything started 15 years ago afer a yet another global pandemic. Some have passed away, some barely had any changes due to the illness but 1/14 of the population between 1 and 21 became really infected.

You see, it was not a typical disease. Sure, for some it was like a cold but those unfortunate young people who had the right genetic basis for the mutation of the disease were practically cursed. The mutation caused those sick people - depending on a person - either to shrink up to 3-4 inches or grow up to even 60 feet tall.

It took the doctors a few months to find medication to help control the sudden changes of size, but the illness was proven to be incurable. Medication could only help control the size changes slightly better but couldn't fully stop it.

Present time

In this crazy world there was only one thing that wasn't crazy.

"Hunter!" Nate yelled while chasing his best friend. The young boys were friends since they were 8 so now it was a decade of friendship. Their relationship was the only normal thing in the world: no lies, no envy just pure platonic love and..

"Give me back my phone, you psycho!"

Pranks.

"I'm gonna text her" Hunter laughed after unlocking his best friends phone "I'm finally gonna tell Evie that you have a crush on her!"

In a world full of the so called 'size shifters' (they could just call them weriedos in Nates opinion), so basically giants and tinies, having a friend like Hunter was a blessing. Well, at last Nate though that. Hunter didn't have too many friends becouse he wasn't very out going and could come off as cold sometimes but he was surely the sweetest, gentleman ever. Nate on the other hand was the most troublesome kid all middle and high school. He would always ruin something, say something rude to a teacher, skip classes, fail exams..

At last Hunter cared about him. And Nate cared about Hunter as well.

You could practically call them brothers at that point. 10 years of friendship? That sounds like 'forever' is ahead of them. Well.. it was.

This unfortunate day Nate has gotten a 'brilliant' idea: surprise (and scare) Hunter by coming out of his closet (no double meanings) as he returns home from soccer practice.

Everything was going well. Hunters mom bought the lie that Nate was supposed to wait for Hunter in his room and she left the house. Nate didn't have too much time before he heard Hunter opening the front door. He quickly jumped into the closet and closed the door, leaving just a tiny gap, so he could see what was happening on the outside.

The closet was dark, full of clothes and other stuff all around. Those things were nothing special: t-shirts, pants, caps, headphones, medication.. Wait, hold on.

Medication?

"Why does he have pills in there?" Nate though, grabbing the bottle. His mind raced with thoughts. It was too dark for him to figure out what kind of medicine was in the bottle. It was weried. Hunter wasn't sick. Well, at last Nate didn't know anything about that. He didn't have allergies, he didn't have asthma, never even needed pain killers...

"What if those are like drugs?" Nates heart skipped a beat. It would explain why Hunter wouldn't tell him. Maybe he was ashamed that he was an addict?

No, drugs didn't make any sense. Hunter wouldn't have done that. That's something pretty much impossible to happen.

"Maybe he is sick and doesn't wanna tell me because it's terminal"

Now Nate felt like he was going to puke. What if this was something serious? What if Hunter would-?

Just as he was about to create next 2000 scenarios, Hunter entered the room.

"Crap" Nate gasped "I forgot about the prank!"

He wasn't in the mood for pranks anymore. He was supposed to scare Hunter but..

As Hunter sat on his bed, he called Nate out.

"I can see you, dumbass, you know?"

Nate signed and then slowly opened the closets door and stepped out. His best friend didn't seem very surprised.

"You idio-" The boy began to speak, but stoped mid sentence as he saw what was in his friends hands. He got pale. He became completely paralyzed. He was..

Scared?

Nate didn't understand his expression. Surely, he couldn't have scared him. Hunter saw him. He wasn't as sly as normally. So why would he react this way?

He then looked carefully at his best friends expression. Hunters eyes flickered between Nates face and.. the bottle in his hand.

How could he have forgotten about that?

He looked down into his hand. Finally the light hit the white bottle with few simple blue words written on it.

Remedium Gigantismus.

"Heck of a weried name for a pill" Nate thought before he saw the smaller, English words.

A pill to help control morphing into a giant.

His eyes widden and he gasped.

Gigantismus. That means..

"A giant.." he mumbled under his breath. How was it possible he didn't realize earlier? He looked back at Hunter with wide, confused eyes.

Hunter stared at him looking almost terrified.

"Nate.." Hunters voice was a little shaky and he acted with a lot of caution "Let me-"

"Why the hell do you have those pills?" Nate spoke defensively. It felt surreal. Hunter never behaved like that. He never kept secrets. He most surely wouldn't be a fucking monster.

"Bro, I'm sorry, I should have told you sooner" the other boys brown eyes flickered with shame. He took a step into Nates direction but the shorter, blue-eyed one took a step back. Hunter was visibly shocked and hurt by that.

"What..? What the hell do you mean?" Nate still couldn't get that thought into his head. There had to be a different explanation. Hunter was not a freaking beast. He wasn't a man-eater. He wasn't one of those crazy giants that morph into their true size in the middle of a city to crush buildings, murder people and traumatize thoese who remain alive. Hunter wasn't like the one that to Nate.

"Nate, I really wanted to tell you. But after the accident in the gallery..." Right.

4 years ago Nate was in an art gallery with his so called girlfriend. She was his first crush. It was a great experience untill.. Unexpectedly one boy, barely older than them morphed into a giant. He crushed buildings, walls fell down, floors broke into parts, the rooftop fell on top of many people, the giant murdered and eaten humans that he could reach, he even ate the girl that went out with Nate. He only survived because he was under a pile of fallen materials. After the "accident", as everyone else refered to it, he became suicidal, had nightmares almost every night but most importantly began to hate giants with all his heart. Hell, not only giants. All of those freaking weriedos that change their sizes. His therapist couldn't help him. Noone really could. But Hunter was by his side after that terrifying, traumatizing experience. He was the only one who understood how much Nate hated thoese freaking monsterous giants and was the only one accepting the fact without telling him that "one situation doesn't define the whole species" or other shit people told him. They were murderers. Giants were murderers. Nothing more.

But now.. even Hunter didn't understand him.

"Tell me it's not what I think it is" Nate almost begged at this point. He was so angry, so confused and so unbelievably terrified "Tell me you're not a monster!!"

Hunters eyes became glossy "Nate, please.. I got infected 6 years ago. I didn't tell anyone. I wanted to.. I wanted to tell you but my parents told me it was a bad idea. And later the accident happened.. I didn't want fot you to hate me" he tried to explain as he was slowly breaking down.

Nate felt his heart beat faster, his breath quickened, his hands trembled as he held the bottle firmly, his mind was filled with thoughts, he couldn't control the growing rage.

"Are you a fucking giant?!" Nate yelled at Hunter, visibly furious and panicked, somehow at the same time. He felt like he was going to puke. His head hurt. And his heart? It stung so freaking bad that he thought he was going to have a heart attack.

Hunter stood there, quiet for a secound before nodding. He looked ashamed. Hurt even. He knew he shouldn't have kept this a secret but let's be honest, if he told Nate would they continue being friends? He didn't want to lose him. He just couldn't bare the thought..

They both kept quiet for a few seconds, the first thing to break the silence was the sound of the bottle falling down onto the floor.

"How could you..?" The blue-eyed began to speak.

"Nate, please, it doesn't have to change anything-" Hunter spoke even though he didn't believe that himself. His heart was pounding like crazy. He took two more steps into his best friends direction.

"Get away from me you monster!!" Nate snapped as he took a few steps back, visibly frighten by Hunter.

They have been friends for a freaking decade and now Nate was terrified of him.

Hunter broke down. Tears began to fall down his cheeks. He wasn't a monster.

"Please don't call me that" he though as he began to sob and cry louder. Just this exact secound he ran off the room and out if the house leaving Nate all alone.

The boy collapsed onto the floor, sitting there stunned, shocked and scared. He couldn't understand the situation. It was unbelievable. How didn't he notice? Was Hunter faking their friendship? Would Hunter hurt him?

No, of course not. That was Hunter.

Nate stood back up and took a deep breath.

"How could I have been so cruel to call him a monster? I fucking made him cry" he thought as he began to gain his senses again. When the fear began to fade away he realized what he had done. His behavior was unforgivable. Hunter was right that Nate wouldn't have took that information well.

"I have to fix this" Nate though as he realised he wouldn't loose his best friend like that. Not becouse he called him names. Maybe the could find a way to make it work?

Yeah, truthfully Nate doubted that. He wouldn't be friends with a giant. But he couldn't think about it now. It wasn't a giant, it was Hunter. He needed to find him and apologize and talk to him.

He ran after him, trying to find a direction he suspected the boy would choose. He knew his favorite forest spots and that's exactly where he went.

After almost 40 minutes of looking for Hunter, Nate has found Hunter. He was sitting on a tree branch, sobbing. Nate approached him, fear growing back in his body as well as tention, but he wouldn't give up so easily.

"Hey man.." Nate began to speak. The sudden sound must have startled Hunter because he fell down as he turned around to see who was speaking.

Before he could say anything the earth began to shake and he began to grow.

Nate looked up with wide eyes as his best friend was transformed into a 60ish foot tall giant beast.

"N-Nate..?" Hunter mumbled uncertainty as he realised he had grown, looking at his now tiny buddy.

Nope.

Nate turned around and began to run as fast as he could. He wouldn't he cought by a giant.

"Wait, Nate, please!!"

-----------------------

Thank you for reading, sorry it took me so long to update, hope you enjoy a new story! 💙💙

[nova-streyart]

The Thing about Belos Nobody Mentions

There's an aspect of Belos I haven't seen anyone talk about yet: him potentially being on the schizophrenia spectrum, or schizospec for short, and everything that means. Before you say anything, I am a schizoaffective person. This is my interpretation. This is based off my own experiences with this disorder, and my own research.

Analysis and rant under the cut:

=ANALYSIS=

So this all started when I learned that one of the color design pieces had Caleb and the grimwalkers labelled "Golden Guard Illusion". Artists credited in the image itself.

It's weird to me that they're labeled as illusions and not hallucinations, because the latter is what the ghosts actually are. Illusions are images your brain distorts based off something that's there, while hallucinations are images your brain creates from nothing. The fact that these ghosts are actually hallucinations of Belos and not real ghosts doesn't say a whole lot about Belos on its own, because anyone can hallucinate if they experience intense enough negative emotions. But you'll see why I think there's something more to this.

Following this lead, I rewatched the scene where Papa Titan talks to Luz in the In-Between realm in the series finale. After Luz asks him whether her motivation to save her friends and family makes her just as bad as Belos, she tells her:

"Well, you assume Belos' goal comes from a genuine place. But that man doesn't care about anything but his need to be the hero in his own delusion."

Let me give you a short lesson about delusions in the context of schizospec disorders: Delusions are firmly held beliefs that the person experiencing can't be convinced aren't true. This can be extremely serious and life-threatening, such as as believing all your food's been poisoned. But it can also be harmless; it really depends on the delusion. The type of delusion referenced here would be a delusion of grandeur, which is a real thing in schizospec disorders. Such delusions can be serious, like believing you're the second coming of god, or more harmless, like believing you're better than others.

Taking both the hallucinations and the delusion into mind, it's very possible that Belos has some kind of schizospec disorder.

=RANT=

Let's talk about that scene where Belos goes to the grimwalker cave. Notice how the hallucinations are played for laughs? That's problematic. Hallucinations are not something you can just tell to "shut up" and they'll go away. Hallucinations are not things you can interact with. There's already other media with this problem, such as A Beautiful Mind, but the fact that it's in a show that's supposed to be celebrating neurodivergence is hypocritical.

Let's briefly go back to that Papa Titan quote. See how he used the word "delusion" to describe Belos' motivation?Yeah, that's really problematic in the schizospec community. As mentioned before, delusions can be life threatening, so tossing that word around like it's nothing is really frustrating and insulting. The show should have used a word like "fantasy" to get its point across more effectively if it was implying that Belos has a hero complex.

Continuing this train of thought, it gets worse when you consider how Papa Titan- and in essence the narrative- is essentially ridiculing Belos for experiencing a very intense delusion. Delusions are not something a schizospec person can control. I've already seen the fandom mocking Belos for this quality. It was one of those awful memes with the caption "schizophrenia," and had audio of markiplier doing a bit where he was bantering with an "inner voice". Such memes are awful because they're not real experiences schizospec people go through. They're assumptions about our experiences non-schizospec people make about us.

That would be the worst of it, but no, it gets far worse when you consider a few things:

Belos is the main antagonist. That would be annoying enough, considering the plethora of mentally ill villains in media, but nope. The narrative also treats him as this purely evil being who is incapable of any good whatsoever. Which, OK. It's possible for a schizospec person to be a monster. But the fact that the only schizospec representation we have is either of us as helpless victims, or as irredeemable monsters, is infuriating.

Belos is clearly meant to be a foil to Luz. Which, congrats to the show for having a neurodivergent lead, but let me tell you about some of the hardships schizospec people face: In real life, schizospec people are cast out of mental health advocacy groups. Schizospec people are treated as subhuman by doctors and psychiatrists. Schizospec people are demonized and vilified by society. Schizospec people are denied jobs and housing. With all this in mind the fact the narrative chooses to glorify a character with the "right," the "acceptable," kind of neurodivergence while berating a character with the "scary," the "monstrous," kind of neurodivergence is absolutely disgusting.

=CONCLUSION=

I feel like it has to be said that I am not condoning Belos' actions, or trying to woobify him. Belos, as a person, was terrible. No amount of mental illness tacked onto him will excuse any of his actions.

I'm also not trying to imply that schizospec characters can't be evil. I'm just saying that it's extremely tiresome that the only representation we get is either us as victims or as villains.

To conclude all of this, please, do your research before adding something like this into your story.

[buckysmith]

Request from TikTok

How the TFP Decepticons and TFP Autobots react to y/n/ reader being sick

Includes: Megatron, Shockwave, Soundwave, Starscream, Dreadwing, Predaking, Knockout, Breakdown, ratchet and Optimus Prime.

Slight mocking words about you being a human

Megatron:

- He isn't used to human sicknesses so he wouldn't really notice it. I mean for sure there's plent of sicknesses for his own kind but they are quite different from human sicknesses.

- The moment he notice something is different with his little human he would look at you like YOU did something wrong.

- If you tell him your sick the first thing he would ask „are you gonna die now fleshy?" (Quite lovely isn't he)

- Another reason for him to think humans are lowly creatures

- If you just happen to have a cold he would tell you to get over it

- But if your sick sick, like fever, throwing up and other nasty stuff he would get a little worried

- He would get you to knockout and if he has no plan, well, he would use soundwave to find the best doc he can find in the USA (he would let the doc kidnap)

- It's not like he cares for you (He tells himself that everytime he's going to you check up on you if your feeling better or need smt)

- Maybe, just maybe it depends on how attached he is, he would pick you up or pet you.

- Oh, an he can reproduce heat in his chest and neck area so he would most likely put you there

Starscream:

- He would catch you caugh more than twice with a running nose and a cracky voice

- He would be confused.

- Are you ok? Was that normal for human?

- He would watch you a good while not sure if he could ask you what was wrong with you, or if it was inappropriate.

- After he asked you he would make sure to help you to get over whatever you have.

- He wouldn't be great at it tho, but at least he would try.

- Expect a lot of „insults" like „you humans are so weak, you could easily die" „hello my weak fleshy human, are you doing alright?"

- But in the end he would give you some blankets to hold you warm and to make you comfortable (he would sneak you into his Quaders on the nemesis and nobody would notice it, well soundwave would but he wouldn't mind he already knows that starscream has a little human friend)

Soundwave:

- he would know your ill before even you know.

- He knows a lot of things especially do to his connection to the internet.

- He would look up the things you might have

- He would panic

- Humans can die cause of a cold!? He didn't know that( what do we learn about that? Don't google your symptoms)

- After a while and a lot of data, he would know that humans can die do to a cold but in most cases they don't unless they were ill before or old.

- Would ask you to take medicine and to take rest

- He would recommend healthy food and recipes for you to make

- Isn't quite a talker but would send you sms asking you if your feeling better

- If not he would take you to the nemesis to take care of you cause obviously you can't do that on your own

- He would give you a lot of blankets and pillows so you could rest while he's working

Knockout:

- Don't expect him to help you.

- Expect him to mock you

- If you mean something to him he might help you like driving you to the human doc or driving you to a shopping center so you could get groceries without taking the bus or driving by yourself

- But Don't. You. Dare. Puke. In. Him

- He would have a mental breakdown right away

- He would also make snarky comments about you being ill cause he can't take you to street races in the middle of the night and how weak you are

- If your really really ill he will take care of you. I mean he's a doc (somehow) so he can at least give you some comfort.

Breakdown:

- The moment he notice that you don't behave like you normally do he brings you to knockout asking his mech friend what to do with you

- He wouldn't listen to you, you're human, you don't know how serious it might be (yes, he believes he knows much more about your human sicknesses than YOU a HUMAN do)

- Knockout wouldn't know what to do with you either so he would recommend his friend to take you to a human doctor.

- You would assure him that you in fact don't need a human doctor cause you just have a cold.

- He wouldn't mind and take you to a doc.

- if you insist on not going to a doctor, he wouldn't push you, but at the same time he would be very worried cause he doesn't rlly understand that you do in fact not die do to your cold

- Expect him to give you a lot of affection and blankets, he would wrap you up like a burrito

Shockwave:

- Honestly, I don't think he would mind that much that your ill or at least if you're just ordinary human that supports the decepticons but if you're a friend of him or maybe even more he would ask you what's wrong with you cause he would notice it right away

- He would ask you to stay away from him, not cause he doesn't want you to be near him while you're ill. No he would ask you that cause he wants you to rest at your home, far away from his scientist stuff and other stuff which could possibly be negative for your „healing" process

- He would do some research to help you and to be sure you don't have something bad

- He would bring you stuff tho, like blankets, heating pads, medicine, food he thinks is good for humans that are ill and other logical stuff.

- He's a busy and most of the time emotionless mech who just thinks logical, but for you he might be a little less logical but just maybe.

Dreadwing:

- He would notice that something is wrong with his little human, but he wouldn't really understand why you were feeling unwell

- You would need to explain to him why exactly you were feeling unwell

- He would ask you what he can do for you so that you're feeling better

- Would bring you to knockout the moment you're coughing

- What you humans don't die? But it sounded like that!

- Would try to prevent you from ever getting ill again cause he doesn't like it to see you weaker than you're already are

Predaking:

- The moment you tell him you can't visit him cause you're ill and need rest, he's on his way to support you through your illness.

- He's your personal heater and even though he is a grumpy dude, for you he would do anything.

- He would take you with him, he's a busy mech after all but on the other hand he wants you to be as near as you can possible be

- You were weak before, but now? Oh dear prime he's all over you like your personal hellhound

- Nobody, really nobody is allowed to approach you until you're feeling better

Ratchet:

- Oh dear Primus, he's feed up.

- It's not that he's angry at you cause you're ill. No no, he's mad that most likely some human child *cough miko cough* is guilty of making you ill do to some water prank in the middle of the fucking winter

- He would try to take care of you, while working at the base so he couldn't be there to pemper you 24/7 but he would at least try to help you get over you might have

- He would ask you a lot of questions. How do you feel? Does your stomach still hurts and stuff like that

- in his care you will recover quickly

Optimus Prime:

- He is really really busy mech, means he has a lot of stuff to do but he would notice it right away that something is clearly wrong with you

- He wouldn't wait for you to tell him what's wrong, he would just ask you

- The moment you tell him that your sick he would start a speech about how important it is for you to stay in your bed

- He would give no single fuck why you're not in your bed, he would simply drop you off at your home( if you're in the base and not at home ofc), telling you to rest and commanding the other Autobots to not take you somewhere but the doctor

- He would ask June to check up on you from time to time, but for sure he would visit you too but again, he's busy busy

[snivyartjpeg]

Plz tell us more abt ur swap AU :)

the yomi/yuma swap? ohoho you sly dog! you'll have me monologuing! ;)

(rain code spoilers below. also strap in because this is Long)

so one thing i like to do with these aus is make it so the characters themselves are still... themselves. so instead of a simple "what if yuma was fucked up and evil while yomi was a good detective" it's more like "what aspects of these characters would make them take this different path?"

first off ill give the general roleswaps i think would occur in this au, which go like so:

yuma <--> yomi

shinigami <-> martina (who would be called shinigami in this au since she's the death god, but i will be calling her martina and calling shinigami... shinigami to avoid confusion)

halara <--> swank

desuhiko <--> guillaume

fubuki <--> dominic

vivia <--> seth

yakou <--> aide/hitman

i wont be going too much into detail about the others who aren't yuma and yomi because, trust me, this manifesto is long enough, but i think that the detectives in this au would be a ragtag group of assholes who slowly grow into a found family while the peacekeepers are already a cohesive, established, competent unit of people who all get along quite well, because there is something very scary about the enemy having the power of friendship on their side.

the detectives:

ill start with yomi. so, he's number one in this au. but he's got a different attitude than our canon number one- his methods have little to do with just solving everything on your own. in fact, he believes a good detective takes advantage of everything and everyone at their disposal to reach a solution. canon yomi is real good at hiding behind people and using them for his own means, which is how i think this yomi develops coalescence- he depends on others by using them. in this case, i think coalescence wouldn't require any consent as long as yomi manages to make hand-to-hand contact at any point. amnesiac yomi won't know this, though, as martina will tell him he needs consent and to hold hands the whole time, like canon yuma (i actually think the rules are the same for canon yuma and that number one just lied to shinigami about the rules to force himself to depend on others, but that's like a whole other unrelated thought process lmao).

as number one, he's also got a real strong sense of justice (at least, his definition of justice) and punishes criminals with sadistic glee. though, he doesn't care for punishing innocent people. it's not as fun, and he hates making mistakes.

he's essentially a fanatical megalomaniac leader who still chooses to do the right thing, enacting righteous justice while using the tools at hand... even if said tools are people. a very "end justifies the means" kind of guy.

he makes a pact with shinigami martina for similar reasons as canon number one does- to not only solve kanai ward's ultimate secret, but also to circumvent the police corruption in the city and take justice into his own hands. after selling his memories, he reverts back to the person he was before he rose to the top as number one- a spoiled brat delinquent with a huge ego, but too rough around the edges when it comes to his detective skills. i think he'd spend a lot of time throughout the events of the game brashly trying to do everything on his own, as if he has to prove himself, and that backfiring on him so he has to learn instead to humble himself and gain the help of his colleagues

martina would be a much more serious shinigami, but she'd also be,,, pretty much the same amount of sadistic, smug, and horny lol. yomi is also more enthusiastic about martina coming onto him as opposed to yuma's very Kodaka Protagonist™ reactions to shinigami's advances. yomi could also just be coldly indifferent too, but i feel like he at least gets a little something over being called "Master" all the time.

also. yomi is probably not nearly as upset about using shinigami to kill people as yuma. he still gets his philosophy on justice challenged when killing the aetheria academy girls and his chief zilch, because... well, they had some Pretty Understandable Reasons to do what they did. it could teach him something about how it's wrong to just go about killing people, even if they are criminals. or something nuanced like that.

anyway, as for the other detectives in this au, i think they have an overall arc about learning to get along. the canon WDO already has this vibe where the master detectives are fairly pompous and off to themselves, so the NDA being a group of selfish, antagonistic assholes isn't too far off. over time, however, they form some close bonds with each other. they also have the fortes of the detectives they swapped with, just flavored to their style. sorry i dont feel like coming up with new fortes. for example, dominic might have a more mechanical clock flavor to his time rewinding instead of a natural bloodline related skill (this could also play into fubuki being a forteless clockford and feeling some jealousy towards a detective who can do exactly what she's always wanted to be able to do)

speaking of fortes, guillaume gives us girl yomi in chapter 2 💖 her motivations aren't the same as desuhiko's- she just likes the idea of dressing yomi up and sneaking into a place. and for the rest of ch 2... it's safe to say that kurumi is definitely not a love interest in this case lmao. yomi doesn't strike me as someone who would get a crush at first sight, especially not for someone like kurumi. maybe this au's kurumi is into bad boy detectives and has a one-sided crush on him. idk. i don't even care about the romance in canon.

each chapter, yomi has to lean on his colleagues for help and (very reluctantly) softens up as a person when hanging out with them. by the end of the game, they're all good friends who respect each other, even if they still get on each other's nerves.

imagine how fucking funny all of the gumshoe gabs would be.

now for the bad guys:

yuma is a little trickier to address in this au because him being a villain requires a level of narrative complexity that canon yomi just,,, doesn't have. but they still have to play the same role in this story as a threatening and ruthless antagonist to keep the tension. for this, i think yuma takes more after canon number one, because frankly, number one has all the tools to be a villain but simply chooses to be good (through... questionable methods)

so this yuma, above all else, is a perfectionist. he hates crime, chaos, and unsolved mysteries more than anything. he, just like yomi, has a very strong sense of justice and even has good intentions: he wants to create a city in which everyone is happy. to him, kanai ward should be a utopia, a little piece of heaven in this shitty world.

but the way he tries to achieve this is through absolute control. he figures, as long as he's in control, there'll be no crime. too many differing opinions of what is and isn't justice and happiness exist, so he thinks it's simpler to stick to his own "perfect" ideas on the matter. he has to make all of the decisions for this city on his own. no one else can do it.

(and there lies irony in the fact that he cannot control his own happiness, no matter how much he forces a smile. abandoning emotions for the sake of his job includes even the positive ones, and it's miserable. not that he has time to unpack all that.)

the sweet, kindhearted yuma we all know is still in there too- it's actually how he ends up recruiting his loyal peacekeepers into his ranks. he manages to gain halara's trust over time as they work under him, learning about their secret affinity for cats and deciding to even assist in their cause. he gives desuhiko the platform he's always wanted to perform on, and now he has a show similar to how canon guillaume has one. fubuki, despite being an heir to the clockford family, lacks any powers and feels inadequate, so yuma grants her cybernetic enhancements to become the powerful protector she wants to be. vivia was basically standing on the ledge, ready to meet his end before yuma came along to show him the kindness he needed to keep going. through this, he creates a cast of people who are devoted to doing his bidding, even his more morally dubious requests.

and yakou, his loyal hitman, has essentially the same story as canon: his wife died, and he got his revenge. though, this time, he survived. despite this, he feels unsatisfied with his revenge. it's a hollow victory, and it doesn't make up for what he lost. the murder he committed was investigated by yuma, who solved the tricky case on his own after the peacekeepers couldn't crack it. but yuma didn't feel right punishing the man after learning why he did it (and, as far as yuma was concerned, huesca was a blight upon amaterasu corporation anyway... this is a convenience). yakou's murder plot was clever, impressive, and nearly impossible to solve, so yuma decides to show him mercy at the price of taking on a "cleanup job." yakou, unsatisfied with his revenge, agrees to yuma's terms, hoping that with each kill, maybe, just maybe, it'll make up for the loss of his wife.

also i suppose i also have to address his right hand, shinigami. yuma is completely emotionless in this au because, despite how much he cares for all of his underlings, he also knows better than to get too attached. even if they all may be convinced he loves them, the truth is that if they disrupt peace in kanai ward, they, too will be disposed of. that being said, i think he and shinigami are still in some freaky ass relationship like canon yomi and martina, though shinigami is very obviously way more into it. would this yuma cube her? perhaps not. he doesn't like unnecessary cruelty, nor does he care to keep a compressed corpse on his person. but i can still see him sending her to be executed for failing to perfectly run an investigation on top of failing to quietly get rid of the detectives (he told her to get rid of them, so she thought showing off with a big Boom-Kill would make him happy! ... it didn't)

yuma may care for the people of his city, but ultimately, he understands that peace and perfect justice cannot always be achieved by being nice.

he doesn't enjoy it, but he still carries out the executions of criminals because it's a "necessary step towards peace." he tortures people because he "has to." because there's "no other way to get them to talk." and while yuma wants the peacekeepers to carry out their jobs with perfection and truth, he pressures them too much, and this attitude leads to the peacekeepers trying to make their first assumptions seem correct while refusing to acknowledge the flaws in their investigations.

... also, he quietly disposes of people who challenge his position or his methods because they simply wouldn't understand. he can't trust them to understand. how could these common people determine what's right and wrong on their own?

that last group of people are the worst to him- those who try to disrupt the order in this city, because disruption leads to imperfection. imperfection leads to injustice. injustice leads to chaos. and his biggest disruptors are detectives, which is why he hates them.

i think yomi would start off not scared of yuma at all, but over time he realizes just how cold and cruel yuma can be. all the while, yuma takes a little joy in teasing the detectives and getting the upper hand. he likes to be right, to watch them squirm as their shortcomings justify all of the sacrifices he's making. and, more importantly, their little rivalry almost makes him feel something.

when yuma eventually gets arrested in chapter 4 for his corruption (i don't think money would motivate him, but he simply sees bribery as another tool to keep everything under strict control), he doesn't throw a fit like yomi does in canon. instead, he's very calm and quiet. he almost drops his constant smile. almost. it twitches a little, but remains the same as always. he concedes that he lost, and tells the detectives they've done well.

yomi gets the feeling this isn't the last they'll see of him.

anyway, chapter 5 plays out similarly where yomi and makoto duke it out. i'd imagine their rhetoric and dialogue would be super different but they still come to the same "let's have kanai ward decide for itself" solution because, at this point in the game, yomi has enough respect for others to say that. wait... makoto...

OH YEAH. MAKOTO CHANGES TOO

so obviously, being number one, his appearance resembles yomi now lol. i think he keeps yomi's natural blue hair color and slicks it back so he's not rockin the emo bangs. also, he's way better than yomi at holding in his anger, so he comes off as a lot more put-together, even if he seems really smarmy. he's real manipulative and slippery like canon yomi, but his theatrics lie more in being off-putting rather than throwing temper tantrums. basically, he's yomi if he was actually charismatic lol. he gets his way not through sheer power and money, but through careful social navigation. sometimes, much to his own chagrin, that requires being polite

aaand that's all the stuff i can think of for now! thank you for asking! i know it's A Lot but when i start thinking enough about hypothetical changes that'd happen from a swap, i get super into it lmao. there's also something interesting to be said about if yuma and yomi were the only ones that swapped (we love unexplored character dynamics) but i thought it'd be more fun to touch on the others and how they'd be in their new respective roles because, at the end of the day, both detectives and peacekeepers are a bunch of cops lmao. it's a lot more interchangeable than it seems, y'know?

[thiswaycomessomethingwicked]

Have you ever thought about what it would be like if Eomer and Grima met as children lmao (also love your work🤍 I’m a huge fan of what you write and I’m married to Grima as well he’s my wet pookie)

sometimes there are people who come into my inbox with only the best and most amazing messages - you are one of them! (also thank you so much for the lovely compliments! I'm always so happy when people like my Grima nonsense <3)

I have never considered this but it is objectively hilarious. It would require them being the same age, which shifts their dynamic a bit I think since Grima is, at a minimum, like 13 years older than Eomer but really it's much more like 15 to 20 or more, depending if you're doing book or movie Grima re: age. (Book is ambiguous. He's described as "old" but what does that mean? Aragorn's also old! Anyway, I usually head-canon him as somewhere between 45-50. Eomer's like 27 and making some Peak Life Choices Boy Howdy.)

ANYWAY

Them meeting as children would be a mess. Grima's that kid who is like "I dissected the dead bird the cat brought in, do you want to see it? The insides are interesting--you can see where it might have been ill and dying anyway" and everyone is like "….no". He also suffers from the "everyone thinks I'm a weird freaky asshole so I might as well be the weirdest freakiest asshole they've ever met" - ouroboros situation. I also think he was born prickly which helps little. His natural personality is like pickle brine and life just made it worse.

(Eomer: it's a good thing pickle-backs exist. Shot of whisky followed by a shot of pickle brine. It's great.

Grima: what are you saying??

Eomer: that you're an acquired taste. and sometimes I feel like I've woken up after a bad night at the bar with Eothain.

Grima: .. ….,. .,,.. you know. I'll take it.)

Eomer is rough and tumble and also trying to live up to the Image of His Father. He's also a prince and therefore used to getting what he wants when he wants it. I think he was also born a bit truculent. Like, the slightly compulsive need to just Start Shit with people on occasion is there in his late 20s, I presume it was there in his childhood as well. It's not a constant thing, but when it strikes Eomer cannot resist.

(will this one day end up with him causing an International Incident? possibly.)

At the same time, I think Eomer was a child with a sunny disposition that dampened really swiftly after his parents died and he became a bit grave and serious in his teens. When you're fifteen and taking up your father's mantel and being told that he was a Hero and you're going to be Just Like Him is a lot to hold and I think Eomer's response to it was to try and be the Grave Heroic Lord that people expected him to be. Another ouroboros, just in a different direction to Grima.

All of this to say - them meeting at like twelve? Disaster. Grima would be weird and trying to figure out how to keep Eomer from beating him up or something but he's not perfected the ability to manipulate people or situations because he's twelve. Eomer would be like "why is this freaky kid staring at me and being weird" then would either try and start shit or would ignore him because Eomer is a Prince and Grima is a Commoner.

Also, I think Grima started doing his thieving at a young age and Eomer is at once offended because that is against the law! and you're not supposed to do that! and only sneak-thieves and villains do that! at the same time I can see ten year old him thinking it secretly kind of cool and badass. There's some mischief in Eomer that Grima can prod into the light of day (not to mention the natural desire kids have to test boundaries and push limits).

--

They meet because idk Grima's father is in Edoras for business reasons. It's sheering season, there's wool to sell.

(a half-drabble-thing below the cut)

Grima's loitering in a market square watching people and feeling a bit envious of the other boys who muck about together because he wants to be included but he knows if he tries it'll end poorly so he just watches and feels resentful.

Eomer's been taken to market by Theodred for whom Eomer acts as page since it provides him a quasi-apprenticeship in how to be a good Eotheod lord. Theodred being fourteen years older than Eomer has his household established and is in a good position to take Eomer on. Theodred says, ‘You can take a few hours to yourself. Consider it a half-day holiday.’

Eomer is well-chuffed with this development and is sauntering around with some of his mates. Determining if they’re going to make trouble or not – Eomer is conscious of needing to set a good example and wanting his cousin and uncle’s approval so does talk them out of the more insane ideas.

The squad gets distracted at some stall or other and Eomer isn’t interested in the wares so is looking around. He sees a slight, strange looking kid a few stalls over who is leaning against a pole watching them then he watches some of the common kids who are kicking a ball about in the square, others are running hoops &c. Eomer doesn’t at first pay attention to him because he’s just some peasant. Look at his clothes! Clearly not from Edoras. Clearly some boy from a farm or small village.

Then the boy seems to disappear and Eomer thinks that this is strange. He was sort-of keeping an eye on him since Eomer got a sense that he was planning some mischief but now he’s gone. La!

Into thin air.

Eomer’s mates are done with this stall—they want to go to another. Or maybe find a cockfight to bet some of their allowance on. All else fails, they say, we can go up to the first floor of the White Hart and look at the girls passing by.

This all sounds swell to Eomer and the roudy group makes their way towards the back of the market where the more dubious activities occur. As they round a corner Eomer collides into someone who hadn’t been there but a moment ago. It’s the boy from before! The little rat-faced one with the greasy dark hair and large eyes.

Eomer’s back up and dusting himself off as one of Eomer’s friends hauls the boy to his feet, ‘Don’t you watch where you’re going? Eh? We’re walking here, can’t you see?’ He’s jabbing into the boy’s chest and the boy is in turns frightened but also, somehow, sneering at them as if he were their better. The boy is gripping his hands into fists and there is dirt between fingers, as if he had grabbed up something from the ground. ‘What’s that smell? Sheep-shit? Wool? You got wool for brains?’

Eomer is all, ‘Leave him alone. He’s not worth it.’ And his friend laughs, wags a finger at the boy, ‘You’re lucky we’re kind.’ Then they’re off and Eomer doesn’t really think about the encounter until they’re at the cockfight and he goes for his purse to put a bet on and finds it lighter than it was an hour ago.

When they crashed into that boy.

And Eomer recalls a hand near his back then his belt but he hadn’t thought much of it. Just thought the boy was floundering a bit, being knocked over as he was, and Eomer so much bigger than he.

The little bastard nicked some of his money!

The little bastard is good if he got some but not all. Too smart to take the whole purse, too smart to cut it. The fall must have loosened it enough for some of the coin to fall out and the boy grabbed it up. Eomer thinks he should report the theft, because no one is above the law as his cousin tells him with regularity. As Third Marshal it will be Eomer’s job to ensure that justice is dispensed. It will be his job to ensure that the laws of the land are enacted fairly, honestly.

But it was only a few coins. In any case, Eomer doesn’t think the boy could stand the whipping that would follow. He had a pinched, starved look about him. That cringing, mincing manner some apprentices get when their masters are hard handed. When his friend was jabbing a finger into the boy’s chest Eomer had half expected the ribs to cave in.

Best leave him be. He’ll get his comeuppance at some point should the boy makes it to manhood with the same unwise habits.

Fishing out some pennies, Eomer says, ‘I’m going in on the cockerel with the green feathering on its wings.’

‘Only five pence? And that bird is going to lose, look how small he is!’

‘He may be small, but I think he’s got some cunning in him. In any case, thrift can be the mark of a wise man.’

His friends laugh: oh ho ho, Eomer sounds like a grandfather. Look at their friend the prince Eomer, trotting about as if he were a sage.

Eomer rolls his eyes, grabs one of his friends closest to him to knuckle his head, then they are cajoled into behaviour by the pressure and presence of the crowd.

Eomer’s bird wins the day. He preens all the way home.

~

Years on from then, Eomer will be visiting his uncle and cousin in Edoras and his uncle will say, ‘Come meet the man Aethelrod has marked as his successor, once he can no longer perform the role of Law Speaker.’

Eomer will say that Aethelrod has years left in him, surely? And his uncle will laugh his loud laugh that fills the golden hall: Oh yes, he’ll be long lived. Still, best to think about the future early.

When Eomer follows his uncle out through the golden pillars and the golden doors of Meduseld into the sun, he will see the broad, soft face of Aethelrod at the top of the stairs and behind him a tall man built lightly, with dark hair and large eyes. And Eomer will look at the man and the man will look at Eomer and Eomer will think the face to be familiar though he cannot place it. The man will bow, a perfectly executed action of someone who practices. Aethelrod will thump the man’s chest with his large fist and say, ‘This is Grima son of Galmod, found him out in the hinterlands some years back. He’s whip-fast and clever as an adder. He’ll do well for a Law Speaker, my lord. He’ll do very well indeed.’

And the man with the large eyes will seem to stare through Eomer then he will smile and it will be one of dark amusement. As if there were some joke being played at Eomer’s expense. Eomer’s back will get up, his skin will bristle, he will think that this man from the hinterlands shouldn’t be so confident or comfortable. He has yet to prove himself, after all.

It will be later, months or years on from the introduction, when Eomer will be rounding a corner in Meduseld and he will collide with Grima who has somehow made himself a fixture in Theoden’s household and Eomer cannot help but think there a secret, subtle magic at work. Because who is this man? No one has heard of him? Who is his father? Some shepherd from the east Emnet. No one of note or noble name. And if a man has no name or history can he be trusted?

In any case, they will collide and Grima will step back begging his pardon, he will be bowing, and Eomer will be saying, ‘It’s fine, don’t worry about it’ and Grima will be leaving, their shoulders will be brushing, and Eomer will think he feels the ghost of a hand at his back, his belt-purse, and when he looks over his shoulder he will see Grima also looking back and Eomer will realize oh Gods, it’s that kid. It’s that boy who nicked half my allowance that one day. And he will wonder at himself and how it was he never made the connection, but the moment is over because Grima is gone—back to the main hall where he will weave his plans for advancement and Eomer is in his room, checking his purse, and thinking to himself: I could have sworn there was a cup on the bedside table. A pretty one with gold in the rim. I could have sworn I left it there this morning.

[honest-moth-of-silver-grove]

Hello! I was wondering if you could please write up a BG3 headcanon request involving Halsin, Wyll, Astarion and Gale? How would they react to/take care of their Tav who has an alcohol or drug addiction?

A/N: Aw, man, do I feel this ask. Sometimes I like to joke that I come from a long line of alcoholics, because, well, I do. But it’s usually me trying to put some levity into serious family discussions. I don’t think a lot of people understand that addiction is a physiological illness: it’s a full-body response, not a case of “mind over matter” as some people like to say. There’s such a stigma and it sucks because research shows that when we respond kindly, and not with punishment or ostracization, that’s when addicts have a higher chance of recovery. So know that while I am no expert on addiction, I did try my best to be respectful and accurate. I hope you enjoy! 

TW: Addiction, Alcoholism 

BG3 Male Companions Taking Care of Tav Who Battles Alcoholism/Addiction 

Astarion: 

In a way, Astarion is kind of an addict himself. He’s a vampire, spawn, or ascendant, he needs blood for energy. He can go for extended times without it, but those times have been tortuous and caused lasting mental and emotional damage. That eternal need hanging over his head coupled with the impact of Cazador’s abuse has permanently re-wired his brain. Astarion doesn’t react like the average elf, he can’t, not anymore. 

So when it comes to altered brain chemistry, Astarion’s certainly no stranger. Although his addiction lies more within the supernatural, he can use his own experience to relate to Tav’s more pedestrian affliction. 

Astarion won’t ever outright deny Tav something. If Tav asks for a drink or a drug, Asation won’t take it upon himself to literally hold Tav down as a means of keeping them from consuming it. Astarion knows that method won’t work in the long run, and would most likely only result in Tav resenting him, and he can’t have that. 

Astarion will make a face or two, however, his expression switches from concerned to slightly judgemental depending on the context. He wants Tav to be aware of his opinion, but he doesn't want to smother them. Tav’s not a child, Astarion isn’t responsible for them. 

Still, thanks to his concern, I do think Astarion would confront them about it. He’d need to speak to Tav to hear for himself precisely what's going on. If Tav is still in their denial phase, Astarion tries hard to get them out of it. There’s no use trying to help someone who refuses to acknowledge they have an issue. Astarion knows, so he understands the shame that comes with it. But he reminds Tav he did eventually come clean about being a vampire, and about his past with Cazador, so now it’s Tav’s turn to do the same. 

Once Tav is open about their struggles, Astarion makes a point to check in with them throughout the day. He’ll nonchalantly provide Tav with alternatives to drink: water or tea, things that aren’t ale, and wine. He’ll be subtle about it though. Astarion will never act as if he’s going out of his way to do Tav a favor. No, it’s not like that, he swears! It just so happens Gale was asking for tea and Astarion thought he’d go make him some seeing as how sad and pathetic the wizards had been acting over losing his goddess, and Astarion thought, well, perhaps Tav would like some as well. 

The most difficult part for Astarion is witnessing Tav endure withdrawal. It’s a horrible, painful process. If Astarion didn’t know any better, he’d say the whole thing looked a lot like being killed and then brought back from the dead. He still remembers the way his body ached and burned and hungered upon Cazador turning him into a vampire. It may have been two hundred years but nothing could ever make him forget that pain. It’s why Astarion wishes, more than anything, that he could alleviate such agony for Tav. 

If Astarion remains a spawn, there’s nothing he can do but hold Tav close, dab their forehead with a cool cloth, and whisper soft words of comfort into their ear. ‘You will be alright, darling. Even this will pass.’ 

If Astarion has become a vampire ascendant, however, he can make Tav a vampire, if that is something Tav chooses. This isn’t a magic fix, however. While there’s a possibility Tav may no longer have the addictions they did as a vampire that they did as a human, there’s no guarantee that hunger will not carry over. Should it carry over, Tav would then be forced to be content with those previous addictions in addition to their newfound bloodlust. It’s a risk. But even if there’s a small chance it could work, Astarion proposes the idea to Tav. Ascendant Astarion would still find it preferable for Tav to be an addict as a spawn, as it makes it incredibly easy for him to control Tav’s actions. Sure, they may still be addicted, but without Astarion’s permission, they can’t take what they want when they want. It would create tension and a fair degree of hostility between the two. But Astarion the Vampire Ascendent believes an angry, vampire-spawn Tav to be superior to a happy dead one. 

And of course, no matter whether he’s a spawn or ascended Astarion makes a point that despite Tav’s addiction, he’s not going anywhere. If Tav falls off the wagon again, or if they’re not ready to try and face their addiction right now, Astarion will remain at their side, waiting for the day they’re ready to try again. ‘I’m not going anywhere my love. I can promise you that.’ 

Gale: 

Gale’s first response, of course, is to try and determine a way to solve this problem via magical means. Now as a wizard, he doesn’t have access to the kinds of healing spells druids and clerics have. But, he does a fair amount of arcane knowledge about enchantments, and curses. And well, what is addiction if not a natural, biological enchantment? Gale considers himself fairly rounded on the subject of human biology as well, so Tav is in for a bit of an earful if and when they first admit their affliction to him. 

Gale may not have experience with the kinds of addiction Tav is, but thanks to his experiments with Weave, and now having been cursed with the orb, Gale knows the urgency of living under a constant ticking clock. If he cannot consume the magic from magical artifacts, if the orb is not sated with bits of the Weave on occasion, he risks blowing up everyone for miles. 

In some ways, this makes Gale’s “addiction” all the more dangerous. It doesn’t merely affect his own body and the relationships with his loved ones, but it jeopardizes almost every other living person within Baldur’s Gate. Of course, Gale would never say this. And while he may think such a self-pitying thought, he dare not share it with Tav. The last thing Gale wants to do is make Tav’s very real problem seem inconsequential because it most certainly is not!

Instead, Gale offers to commiserate with Tav on occasion, making sure to never bellyache the loudest. He wants it to be Tav’s time to vent, complain, scream- to just let it all out. He knows Tav is under an incredible amount of pressure as their leader, addiction or not. Gale wants Tav to trust him enough for the two of them to be vulnerable around each other. I mean Mystra above! The whole camp knows that Gale’s easily susceptible most of the time, so there’s absolutely no shame in Tav admitting they experience similarly at times. 

Gale will take it upon himself to concoct a special drink menu for Tav, all nonalcoholic of course. It’s elaborate and painstakingly organized. If Tav thought their sober options were few and far between before, they certainly won’t now! Gale is the camp’s resident cook, so he takes pride in being able to satisfy not only everyone’s needs but to please their tastes as well. Well, except for Astarion. Blood is not ever to be a feature on Gale's menu, thank you very much!

The part Gale has some trouble with is wrapping his head around someone as wonderful as Tav would ever want such a life for themselves. Gale thinks highly of Tav, sometimes too highly. In some instances, Gale cannot see the forest for the trees thanks to the pedestal he’s placed Tav on. In such scenarios, Tav may have to remind Gale that they’re only mortal. And that this affliction of theirs is no more a choice than Gale’s own need for magic. 

Once Gale is on the same page, he ceases the majority of his condemnation, instead opting to try and distract Tav from the overwhelming desires raging on inside them. He offers to show Tav the Weave once more, or perhaps, some other simple, rather pretty tricks. Rolan’s display of fireworks in Emerald Grove wasn’t a difficult spell, and certainly no challenge for Gale. But if many simple spells are what it takes to keep Tav’s mind occupied as they ride out their newfound prohibition, then so be it. 

If by some miracle, Gale does find a spell or enchantment to help alleviate some of Tav’s worse withdrawal symptoms or cravings, he will perform it enthusiastically should Tav want. And if Tav prefers to handle this the old-fashioned way, Gale will do his best to bite his tongue and respect Tav’s choices. ‘I just want things to be easier for you. Life is hard enough as it is with all this tadpole business running around. Whatever you ask of me, you shall get.’ 

Gale is a faithful partner. He doesn’t run at the first sign of trouble, not when’s committed himself to another person. Be it in friendship, or romance, relationships mean a great deal to him. He refuses to let Tav endure this hardship alone. ‘I do not say this lightly: you mean a great deal to me. No matter the toils, I will stay by your side.’ 

Wyll: 

Wyll, above all else, aims to be an honorable man. Despite his suffering, despite his shortcomings and misfortunes, he refuses to falter or fall. His deal with Mizora may have sullied his Father’s view of him and dampened Wyll’s view of himself, but it did not change how he desires to see himself. Wyll knows the kind of man he wants to be and he does everything within his power to act accordingly. 

For Wyll, addiction is a difficult subject. He’s very strong-willed, and because he spends so much time working hard to do what he believes is the right thing, he can look down on other people at times. He has sympathy for people dealing with such afflictions, but behind his care, a small part of him is disappointed. He believes in choosing to be good, to try harder. He thinks all mortals are capable of acting wiser. So while Wyll understands Tav endures such difficulties now, Wyll also firmly believes Tav will have conquered them in the future. 

This can put a fair amount of pressure on Tav’s shoulders. But it can also serve to inspire them. In either case, Tav would need to talk to Wyll about how they feel when it comes to Wyll’s encouragement. Wyll, being the supportive man he is, would never want to intentionally make Tav feel demoralized. So if there’s something in his behavior or in his words of motivation that he can change to make Tav feel less burdened, he will do so. 

Wyll, like Astarion, knows he cannot make himself responsible for Tav’s choices. So Wyll does not take the part of Tav’s keeper, but he does make an effort to be near Tav as they make their decision, offering his opinion should Tav ask. The more Wyll’s presence remains a constant in Tav’s life, the more Wyll hopes Tav will come to appreciate his perspective. If Tav knows Wyll isn’t going to leave or abandon them anytime soon, they may feel emboldened to make the necessary tougher decisions of turning down a drink or two. 

Wyll is more than happy to stay up chatting the nights the cravings just won’t go away. During days Tav’s irrepressible urge causes them to feel restless and manic, Wyll asks Tav to join him for a lesson in combat. After all, he’s not called the Blade of Frontiers for nothing. Sweating out the chemicals and forcing the body to flush all the drugs out of Tav’s system is a great way to sober up. And if the symptoms of withdrawal aren’t all-consuming, it also makes for a great distraction. 

However, during the periods everything is all just too much: the headaches, the nausea, the itchiness, and the sweating won’t stop, Wyll finds a shady spot in camp for the two of them to rest. And as Tav rides out such agonizing lows, Wyll tells stories of his time as a child living in Baldur’s Gate in soothing, hushed tones. His warm voice brings comfort, a much-needed contrast to the ailment Tav’s fighting. 

Wyll cares deeply for Tav. And he believes in Tav, even when Tav doesn’t believe in themselves. ‘You can resist this, you will resist this.’ 

Wyll has no intentions of going anywhere. Addiction or sobriety, he and Tav are a team. Wyll sees Tav as a great hero: he knows they can fight to save themselves. ‘You are the strongest person I know. Nevertheless, you do not have to shoulder this burden alone.’ 

Halsin: 

Halsin is the least likely to have any shared experience when it comes to dealing with addiction. He has fought off depression and hopelessness time and time again but he knows not of the pitfalls addiction brings. Having lived as long as he has, there’s no doubt he’s met those suffering from such afflictions. And being a druid, he may even have been consulted on how best to treat them. But that’s the end of Halsin’s experience. 

If Tav has an issue, any issue, Halsin is more than willing to help Tav navigate it. After all, Tav helped him save the shadowlands from their darkness. There is no ask too great, Halsin could never say no to aiding Tav with a favor. To Halsin, Tav is a savior: they saved Emerald Grove, they saved Thaniel’s realm, hell, Tav saved all of Baldur’s Gate. Halsin feels he owes them unimaginable thanks. So it pains him greatly to know Tav is suffering. 

Halsin offers to use his abilities to help Tav ease their obsessive mind, and the nagging hunger addiction brings. Of course, druid magic alone is not enough to stop the urge from manifesting and whispering in Tav’s ear. Halsin offers to accompany Tav around town, to sort of supervise them, in his way. He won’t force Tav to change any of their decisions but he keeps a watchful eye almost like a doting father as he places a supportive hand on Tav’s shoulder each time they walk past a bar or tavern. 

Halsin knows he cannot control Tav’s actions, but he can influence the choices they make together as a duo. So long as he is at Tav’s side, Halsin will let his wise opinion be known. 

In their time outside of the city, Halsin takes time to educate Tav on the different flora and fauna found in Faerun. When they come across a plant used to ferment alcohol, Halsin explains the history of the process. Yes, wine and ale are examples of making use of what nature provides, but as with all other things, even nature must be consumed in moderation. Mother Nature blesses everyone with the ability to enjoy such pleasures, but that gift can double as a curse. It is a test of our restraint and humility to know when and where to indulge. 

Speaking of indulgence, Haslin would not recommend swapping one appetite for another, but should Tav want to bide their time engaging in an alternative pleasure, Halsin would be more than happy to oblige. Physical activity and sweating would help relieve Tav’s body of some of the toxins built up within their system. In addition, such activity provides a temporary release of euphoria in the body and brain, which would help combat the pain and despondence that come with withdrawal. ‘If I can provide you with the least bit of comfort. It’s no hardship from me. Far from it.’ 

In the case Halsin leaves Tav for a time to settle the newly displaced within Thaniel's healed realm, he does what he can to ensure his new village is a place of continued healing and sobriety for Ta. Halsin privately enlightens all of the other adults within his new settlement about Tav’s condition. He asks them, respectfully, to refrain from providing Tav with any alcohol or other substances whenever Tav comes to visit. 

Halsin does all within his power to let Tav know they are not alone in their journey, and that no matter the setbacks along the way, he intends to bolster Tav through it all. ‘You are by far nature’s greatest gift to me. No matter the foe, be it the shadows or the dependency within your mind, could ever keep me from you.’ 

If You Enjoyed, Please Consider Tipping Me Via Kofi!

[hazshit-hotel-hater]

The way substance abuse has been handled on the show thus far genuinely upsets me and reeks of writers who either 1.) don't understand the subject matter they're presenting and haven't done even the bare minimum to research it or, worse, 2.) simply don't care.

Apologies for the slight rant incoming, your comment about how it has been mostly "handled" off-screen got me going because that's 100% true and in that truth is such a missed opportunity for the show. The way it has been handled winds up feeling incredibly shallow and juvenile at the end of the day, especially for a piece of media that is attempting to present itself as "adult" and navigate multiple incredibly sensitive topics. I'll try not to get into my own personal experiences and will speak broadly, but the show uses substance abuse more as a cheap character flaw to poke fun at or something to magically handwave away when it is inconvenient, rather than the life-altering, debilitating illness that it is.

Nothing about Angel's use is ever meaningfully explored. It's so (apparently) unimportant to his arc and development that one rude comment from Husk (a character who ALSO has a problem with gambling and alcohol that is never addressed) is all it takes for him to suddenly "resist temptation" and be shown as "recovered" (unless I'm misremembering). Or was he suddenly going to counseling off-screen too and its just another thing that will be told to us rather than shown? And how does Charlie even handle that at the Hotel (I'd be really interested in this as a moment for her character to have to grow/change too)? Does she even understand substance abuse and the many unaddressed systemic factors that can influence it? Or is the entire recovery process just shame based (because that works so well /s) combined with some more corny trust exercises? Why is this incredibly serious topic relegated to the background as if it's unimportant?

Recovery is hard. It is emotional and exhausting. Withdrawal (depending on what you're coming off of) can sometimes mean excruciating, unimaginable pain and in some cases people literally die. It is not a funny "ha-ha I take drugs because I'm chaotic and wild" quirk to be adored or glorified and it definitely should not be presented as something that can be wrapped up in a month or two off-screen without any development whatsoever. That's just insulting.

When you approach a topic like substance abuse and recovery, I personally feel you need to take in all sides of it. All the missteps that come with it (two steps forward one step back - mistakes are expected and okay), the self-loathing, the guilt and shame, the joy, the sense of freedom, the loss, and the best part of all: the incredibly difficult but liberating journey that is rebuilding your life and learning to love yourself and your body again, once you've chosen to be free and to live life.

Mad props to anyone who has ever battled this disease. You are strong, you are worth it and you are valued. Lol I am so sorry for going off here but I so appreciate you calling out the lack of exploration on this topic in the show. I guess I didn't even realize how annoyed and upset it was making me feel (praying this is coherent...).

This was absolutely coherent don’t worry!! Im really glad to see other people talking about this. I myself have not struggled with drug addiction but I have struggled with other kinds and as someone that studies a bunch of medical junk, I’d say I’m decently knowledgeable.

I’m mainly going to focus on Angel for this since he’s the main character I write for, but I assure you other characters addictions are also handled in my rewrite.

During the actual canon show, we don’t see Angel actually abusing substances that often; there’s a few times, most notably in episode 4, but from the rest of the show onward we hardly see anything. Yes in episode 6 they mentioned relapsing, which, mind you, was done horribly, but I digress. They touch on relapsing; Angel relapses, and then… what..??? What happened from that? I don’t feel upset or second hand guilt of any kind from this scene because we haven’t seen Angel’s attempts to stay sobre and off drugs.

His name is fucking Angel Dust. You don’t, I dunno, think that’d entail a higher dependency on drugs? Why do you think he named himself that?

About his name before anything else, the show has so much potential later on to talk about Angel picking out his drag name and why he chose that specifically. So much potential to explore how he views drugs and himself. He sees them as an escape and something “fun” to take his mind off of his actual life. When you die in a fucking coma and wake up in hell as a spider you’re going to want an escape. You will want to ignore reality. I am fully convinced Angel picked his name once he started performing because thats what he needed at the time. He needs to be like that to survive in hell. Angel is an incredibly mentally ill, troubled, traumatised, and unstable person, and being surrounded by so much intense negative influence only amplifies his current problems. I don’t mean to drag Vox in here but in my last redesign post I mentioned how very mildly bad people can become even worse people in hell because of the environment and this is no different for Angel. He’s been surrounded by crime and drugs his entire life and unable to live comfortably because of his sexuality. He has very likely been struggling with substances since he was a teen. Possibly even younger. He is not going to suddenly get over his addiction because of something like this. It could pave the way to him looking into dealing with it, but things like this can take years. I don’t remember when my addiction started; I’ve been clean for 2 1/2 years now I think, but the amount of relapsing and anguish I experienced while working towards that isn’t something that can be done in a few days or months. I still struggle with feeling like I deserve to say I’m recovering.

I’m hoping they tactfully handle this as they should, but my hopes are low. It’s okay to show a character relapsing. It’s okay to show a character feeling guilty. What matters is that the struggle is there to signify they’re trying. For a character with a song called “Addict” you really don’t see much of it. Drug and alcohol addiction is not a silly thing to just twiddle your fingers with and be like “well I guess thats over!” It’s incredibly insensitive to do so.

Whenever I write about Angel’s struggles with addictions, I focus on how small they can feel until you realise what’s actually happening. Just me talking about my rewrite again, but to get my ideas out here: Angel smokes often. He smokes at the studio when he’s stressed, he smokes at the hotel when he’s stressed, he smokes at in alleyways when he’s bored, there’s almost no location he won’t, but sometimes he tries to smoke less. His lungs aren’t the same as humans and technically he has 2 pairs of lungs, but smoking causes him to cough. This is painful in general and especially painful for Angel since he has barbs going down the back of his throat. Imagine choking on sandpaper, kind of like that. It’s painful, he doesn’t like the sound, Fat Nuggets REALLY doesn’t like the sound, and it’s an overall inconvenience, so he tries to stop smoking as much. Periods like this usually go fine for him until the stress returns or he starts to feel the withdrawal. Withdrawal from any sort of addiction is terrible, and in Angel’s case, just from not smoking it worsens his mental state further. He becomes irritable and stressed and that stress leads to wanting to smoke again to calm down. He may resist a few times and those times should be praised, but he gives in eventually. One cigarette to calm down becomes two, then three, and before he can process himself getting carried away, the entire pack is gone. It’s things like this that make addiction horrible. It’s something that deeply scared me when I was struggling. When I was struggling I was still in the mindset of “I can stop when I want to” and then being so suddenly hit in the face with the realisation that I’m not longer in control of this is terrifying. I could not stop when I wanted to. There were even points where I didn’t want to stop. Even just getting the smallest glimpse of this in an incredibly serious manner with Angel Dust would surprise me. To think the bar is this low on a show that seemingly prides itself on tackling such sensitive topics like you said is appalling. Your show shouldn’t have to be told how to write itself.

[wobster109]

Dr. Ratio and Aventurine would have ✨sparkling✨ chemistry

First things first: are they in love? As of Penacony 2.0, no.

(But the potential is there.)

To begin with, what sort of person is our esteemed doctor? Lots of people online say that he'd be angry with someone like March, but in my opinion I can't see it being true. She's no genius, and he probably finds it tiresome to try to teach someone who's just not getting it. But that's an impersonal sort of irritation. She wasn't born a genius, and he wouldn't do something so pointless as to begrudge someone their birth. He wouldn't dislike her for who she is or what she stands for.

I believe that he reserves his scorn for geniuses who fritter away their genius. People like Ruan Mei who have the intellect, and spend it creating cat cakes and Scaracabaz while caring about no one. To some degree, Herta and her Simulated Universe too, researching the Aeons while showing complete disinterest in the humans aboard her space station.

Look at his own research: solving a planet's energy crisis! Curing a previously incurable illness! Teaching! It's all very noblesse oblige of him: a life of service, despite his insufferable attitude.

Aventurine is clearly brilliant, what with having won a gamble against Fate. One does not simply get lucky against Fate—you must engineer your hand to outwit Fate itself. (Those of us who play Genshin—we saw how hard Focalors had to work for it!) Knowing who he is, who he was, where he's come from, and what he's made himself into, Ratio understands that nothing Aventurine does is ever frivolous. It's all deadly serious, and deadly. The foundation for respect is there.

But at the same time, all that gambling and social schmoozing? The risk, reward, and hanging by a thread? It probably baffles our blunt, direct Dr. Ratio. It's completely foreign to him, a way of thinking that he'd never choose and cannot fathom. I imagine they'd be at odds with each other.

So, you've got begrudging respect and a hint of fascination.

All it takes is one breathless, death-defying adventure together to make it kindle.

The more tenuous direction is the other way around: would Aventurine even take notice of Dr. Ratio? Sure, the man's beautiful as a statue with an intellect to match, but Aventurine's surrounded by powerful IPC officials. Probably a bunch of brilliant minds too. Aventurine's a man of many so-called "frrriends" and no friends—perhaps, to him, Ratio is just another useful, but ultimately disposable, tool.

Or perhaps not. There are a few traits that might endear our Doctor to a world-weary gambler.

Sincerity - Ratio is blunt, direct, and cannot be bribed. What he says is what you get. Might be a nice change of pace for Aventurine, who's more used to the kind of conversations he has with Himiko, where they dance around each other and their meanings are implied.

Stability - Aventurine's had to fight for everything he has, including his life. What if he's offered a place to stay (he's already crashing in Ratio's hotel room after giving his own to Trailblazer), or perhaps whatever price of his freedom paid. Perhaps simply the promise of a dependable ally. Would he turn into a puppy, roll over and offer up his loyalty?

Noblesse Oblige - This is a bit of a stretch, but the IPC doesn't really take on projects for the sake of doing good. Ratio's entire modus operandi seems to be for the betterment of all peoples. It's as foreign to Aventurine as social schmoozing is for Ratio. Perhaps Aventurine finds it fascinating, interesting, or even a bit noble.

This is all speculation, but. . . part of me believes that HSR wouldn't make them roommates of happenstance for nothing.

In closing, I leave you with this bizarre consumable—what could it mean? Only time will tell.

[the-golden-vanity]

💚 for the Terror. 💖🧡 and 📖 (but chapter(s) instead of entire book(s)) for Moby Dick

💚: What does everyone else get wrong about your favorite character?

Ooh, it's time to make some enemies.

I really, really dislike the popular fanon characterizations of James Fitzjames. Depending on what particular flavor of queer a fanwork is depicting him as, the kind of... shallow femininity that gets forced on him makes me MASSIVELY uncomfortable. It often comes across as somewhere between homophobic and misogynistic caricature, personality stripped away and replaced with a pretty dress.

I can see where this started, though—the pre-Carnivale dress scene is something that's very important to a lot of Terror fans, and perhaps something that endeared them to a character whose Empire-loving, glory-hounding, "the atrocities I've committed are fun table conversation"-believing ways are (hopefully) unsympathetic to a modern audience. Still, I'd like to see more fanworks engage with that side of James Fitzjames—the tool of an empire that can never love him back.

This isn't to say I don't love queer or trans readings of Fitzjames! I just want to see the character still be a glory-hounding veteran of an imperialist war, and someone I can still believe would shoot rockets at bears.

💖: Already answered here!

🧡: What is a popular (serious) theory you disagree with?

I had to think about this one for a bit. I'd say it's the take that I see floating around on the Internet a lot that Moby-Dick is cosmic horror. If we're taking cosmic horror to mean the horror of the incomprehensible, the impossibly alien, the Things Man Was Not Meant To Know, then there is exactly one chapter that fits the bill—"The Castaway", which includes maybe my favorite passage of the whole book.

However, almost the entire rest of the book is our narrator-protagonist making sense of the whale, as if knowing everything he can about it is his way of coping with the devastating trauma of losing everyone he spent two years of his life living with.

It's almost reverse cosmic horror—rather than a sane man going mad from coming face to face with an incomprehensible monstrosity, our mentally ill (traumatized/depressed/bipolar/open to interpretation) protagonist makes meaning for himself by learning to comprehend the monstrosity.

📖: If you had to remove one chapter from the book, which would you choose?

Ooh, that's a good question. And a hard one.

Moby-Dick is, rather famously, full of chapters upon chapters of whale facts, some of which are even true. I will not be getting rid of any of those. Those are load-bearing whale facts. You pull them out, and the book collapses into a respectable revenge tragedy, rather than the earth-shattering psychological epic that it is. The whale facts represent both the fact that for long stretches of a sea voyage, nothing particularly exciting is going on, and you have time to contemplate things like the immense scarred brow of the whale, and also that this story is being told by a traumatized man who's going off on tangents because he really doesn't want to get around to the part of the story where he loses everything and all of his friends die.

If I had to get rid of one chapter, it would probably be "The Town Ho's Story". Of all the ill omens and tales of woe that the Pequod's crew encounter on their fateful final voyage, this one drags out longest and (to me) was one of the less memorable. However, I'm sure it's probably someone's favorite chapter. Many of them are.

Thank you so much, @georges-chambers/@alienmythologist! You gave me much to think about.

Ask me for my unpopular opinions about boat stories!

[torturingpeople]

OC SMASH OR PASS

RULES: pretty self explanatory. include physical descriptions or pics, and propaganda. the “other” label can be used for “sexuality misalignment” (ie: oc is femme and you’re gay, vice versa or you aren’t into smashing but a specific thing you wanna do with them like perhaps hug or study them under a microscope idc).

i was tagged by @letters-of-fire! thank you so much ^_^ @staring-at-my-keyboard and @your-friend-s-santos i nominate you both :-)

Edison Hollingsworth, the Sybaritic Laureate

AGE: 34

GENDER: Male (?)

SEXUALITY: Pansexual Demiromantic

PROS:

extremely skilled and ridiculously experienced on account of his job literally being a prostitute

very comfortable with him body and with anything you wish to do to it

can be a top or a bottom depending on what you want! usually he tops but you can get him to submit occasionally

very high stamina. can go for hours if you can keep up with that!

he's really sexy. obviously. i mean Look at him. he has MOLES. EVERYWHERE.

open to anything - all genders, threesomes/groups, kinks - and wrt that doesn't have many boundaries to being involved with him

big on dirty talk, likes to fill the silence with it

will probably write poems about you

never goes past a no-strings-attached casual surface-level relationship

a god at reading body language and will know what you want way before you ask for it

will work hard to treat you or buy you gifts occasionally when he can

???:

biter. will bite

doesn't stop yapping he will talk your ear off in the bedroom

massive tease. links with the talking thing

threesomes can be a bit tense after if it was an existing couple

very stubborn. you can get him to sub but i wish you good luck with that

often attempts to get his clients drunk or high before working with them

extremely flirtatious with everyone i.e. you are not special

50/50 chance that he's manic during work and will probably say something mildly frightening to you in a toxic yaoi kind of way

CONS:

The Scandal

likes it best when you're terrified of him and will actively work to scare you just for his sport and profit

will publish details about everything you did and what you like in the papers ESPECIALLY if you're rich or upper class because he thinks its funny and it pays

shit at aftercare. will kind of just Clear himself up and 99% of the time will fuck off 2 minutes after you're both done

obviously not loyal. (if you're polyamorous i suppose this isn't a con but. You know)

reckless as fuck and loves the adrenaline from fear so will likely put you, himself, or both of you in some sort of harm's way for the sake of his own enjoyment

severely mentally ill. psychotic and obsessive. will probably get weirdly religious at some point

will probably stalk and harass you for a few weeks, especially if you don't contact him at all after

will hound you for payment if you were a client and he thinks you didn't pay what you owe him

needs to be told no 62 times before it stops meaning "try again later" or "convince me"

mr wines will 99% of the time not allow you to pursue a relationship with him past the parlour of virtue. getting into a serious relationship is virtually impossible

he will approach you in public if he sees you and expect you to be friendly which. again. The Scandal

definitely open to blackmailing you with things you don't want getting out about you in order to attend society events and the like

addicted to alcohol, honey, tinctures, vigours, the WORKS

if you don't devote your entire life to him and pledge to kill the neath in order to keep his affection he'll assume you don't care about him

severe abandonment issues. if he wants you to stay he will beg for it desperately like a homeless dog

broke as fuck and 99% of his money is stolen by mr wines. the other 1% pays a fraction of his rent

0 standards and will fuck anyone and everyone

[xf-cases-solved]

S1E13: Beyond the Sea

Case: A young couple is kidnapped in North Carolina, and the authorities have five days to find them before they're murdered. Unfortunately, they have no leads, except for the testimony of Luther Lee Boggs—a serial killer Mulder put behind bars years ago—who is claiming to have psychic knowledge that will lead them to the missing children. In some serious turning of the tables, Mulder is skeptical of Boggs' claims, whereas Scully—whose father just died, and who is desperate for just one more message from him to know that they didn't part on bad terms—finds herself believing Boggs, much to her chagrin. After Mulder is shot, Scully is on her own to work with Boggs, leading to some sexy fucking "Silence of the Lambs" -esque scenes that make this episode not just a top tier s1 episode, but a top tier episode of all time. Mulder tears up his New York Knicks shirt (he probably has like seventeen tho, so it's okay), Scully is scared to believe, and Brad Dourif puts his entire goddamn pussy into playing Luther Boggs. A+++, fam.

Does someone die in the cold open: Yes! But it wasn't a crime. Scully gets the dreaded "middle of the night phone call" and learns that her father just died. (Even tho she just saw him sitting in her armchair across the room. Say what???) 

Does Mulder present a slideshow: No. 

Does the evidence survive the investigation: This is another where it depends on what you mean by evidence. Evidence of the actual, literal crime? Yes, that actually worked out like how normal police work is meant to go if you're good at your job. Evidence of Boggs' psychic abilities, however? Unfortunately, proof of those went with him to the gas chamber. 

Whodunit: Lucas Henry, who is either Boggs' accomplice, or somebody Boggs keeps having psychic visions of. It's up to you to decide.

Convictions: Lucas Henry would have been convicted if he hadn't crashed through several floors and fell on his face directly onto some concrete, so we'll give it to 'em.

Did they solve it: While the supernatural element remains a mystery, the crime itself is solved. This one is a resounding yes!

[how do i determine if a case is solved? check the scale here: x]

THIS EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY: Confusing and upsetting your loved ones by appearing to them after your death. Look, we all die—it's a fact of life!—but just because you're dead doesn't mean you have to be dull. When accidents strike, illnesses rage, or the clock has simply run out, keep the fun going by confusing and upsetting your loved ones by appearing to them after your death. By keeping the excitement of living alive by causing trauma to those closest to you as they mourn your loss, you're guaranteeing your time in the afterlife is off to a great start!

*Confusing and upsetting your loved ones by appearing to them after your death is especially recommended for those with loved ones who are particularly skeptical, or who are looking for answers to ambiguities left behind after your departure.

Try it today! Or, well, when you die, we mean. Which might be today!

***

General Total Stats:

(green means stat has changed since last ep; red means new stat added to list)

Total Cases *Definitively* Solved So Far: 6 (holy shit, three in a row?? unprecedented!)

Total Number of "Mulder/Scully, it's me" phone calls: 1

Total Number of Times Scully Has Conveniently Not Seen Something Crucial: 4 (Mulder was actually the one who was out of the room whenever Boggs said something that resonated with Scully)

Total Number of Times Mulder Has Been in Mortal Danger: 5 (pew pew) 

Total Number of Times Scully Has Been in Mortal Danger: 3 ½ (half point bc she should have died, but she had that warning from Boggs, so it was kind of a toss up) 

Total Number of Sexually Charged, Uncomfortably intimate, and/or Flirty Moments Between Friendly Coworkers: 8 (i changed the stat to add in "uncomfortably intimate" bc especially in these first few seasons, a lot of the MSR moments are more like... buddy, i get that you're going through it, but that is your coworker, why are you holding them so gently with so much love in your eyes? anyway, Mulder cupping her face in the beginning, and Mulder putting his hand on her gigantic 90s pant suit shoulder pad at the end are the ones i'm counting)

Total Number of Autopsies Scully Has Performed On Screen: 1

Total Number of Times Scully Plays Doctor: 1

Total Number of Times Mulder Talks to an Informant: 5 

Total Number of Times People Making Out in a Car are Hurt or Killed: 1 (new stat!)

Total Number of Nosebleeds: 4

Total Number of Times Someone Says "Trust No One": 1 

Total Number of Times Someone Says "I Want to Believe": 2 (new stat! first one was actually in that snore fest "Conduit," but i didn't want to go back and add it since i just considered making it a stat now)

Total Number of Cigarettes Cigarette Smoking Man Has Smoked: 2

Total Number of Maggie Scully sightings: 1 (new stat!)

Total Number of Alex Krycek Sightings: 0 :(

Total Number of Times I Had to Look Up What State the Episode Takes Place in Even Though I Literally Just Watched It: 3 ½

Total Number of Times I Had to Look at an Episode's Wikipedia Page to Fill This Out Because It Was Fucking Confusing and/or Too Boring for Me to Pay Attention: 2 (we stan Beyond the mother fucking Sea)

[devinox-art]

Kyle from the @sanguinesky-if. Listen, he's my favorite and no I won't take any criticisms. Ramblings under the cut:

Everyone talking about thirsting after the detective, but there's no way this man doesn't have a least one secret admirer (unless that was Kelly and that's why that random jealousy scene exists).

Fun Fact: I did not clock the "You're worried about Kelly" option as the Detective expressing jealousy towards Kelly the first few times I selected it and just thought the Detective was going "Aww, how sweet, he does care". I have since been picking the option right under to try and get this man to relax (a fruitless task since they start arguing immediately afterward 🤣)

(Side note: no hate against that jealousy moment, but you have to be holding some serious ill will against someone if your first thought in that situation is "oh no, is my man crushing on her?" and not "oh no, is she going to lose her job?" But I personally can't imagine my character being jealous either. In fact, Darcy would be highly amused if someone tried vying for Kyle's attention because she knows him all too well.

But if he decides the reciprocate for any reason? Pray for him.)

Kyle, wear you're damn glasses, you coward.

P.S. Sorry about his nose, the guy I was referencing had a really interesting nose and I couldn't resist drawing it 👉👈

More Ramblings

!!Spoilers for the end of Chapter Two if you take K's route!!

While I'm at it: that scene in Kyle's office is actually my favorite to dissect. Like, they're both kind of equally responsible for what happened. The Detective is the one that initiates it, first of all, but it's not entirely unreasonable. At this point of the story, the situation sounds like it will actively interfere with their job, on top of the stress of unsolved murders, and - depending on choices made, on top of grief. A lot people would want answers in this situation, and knowing there's someone who has them would point them in their direction.

But then you walk in and the Inspector is noticeably Stressed the Fuck Out. But you have a job to do and need a resolution to the problem that cropped up.

The Inspector does have the answers. They knew about the situation but either felt like you didn't need to know or couldn't know to avoid possible interference. This information is understandably above the Detective's pay grade. Maybe under different circumstances the Detective would've come to the same conclusion but they are also Stressed the Fuck Out and are feeling entitled to some answers since, from their POV, this is now directly involving them. Tensions rise and the resulting argument ends with the Inspector telling the Detective to quite.

This is, of course, A Dick Move.

But the way this line is delivered – not snapped out of anger or out of inpulse, but with a sort of disconnect that usually comes with a dawning realization, is so interesting to me.

At the end of the day, K didn't mean to say this, but whatever realization they came to, made them actively think, in that moment, that this was the safest resolution, and it slipped out. The Inspector actively doesn't want the Detective in harms way, but the Detective is acting too determined. The frustration both sides are feeling right now!

The Inspector just wants the Detective to act in their own best interests, but can't or won't say why out of this inexplicable fear, and the Detective is literally just trying to do their job but is either being judge as incapable of doing it by their offical Deputy Chief, is having to deal with outside interference who don't seem to respect anything the department is trying to do, and is purposefully being left out in the dark in a way that is preventing them from judging the risks themselves; everyone has taken it apon themselves to do this for them in this reguard! The Detective is literally just being told to stick to these strangers, even though these strangers are apart of the problem the Detective is having, and if they can't follow their orders they shouldn't be involved at all! The Drama ✨️

Additionally:

In Darcy's POV, she takes it upon herself to calm Kyle down, assuring him it's not his job to know EVERYTHING that is going in in the department. Kyle isn't the actual Deputy in Chief for one, and two he's not omnipotent. Then in the ensuing arguement, she snaps out "Because it's your job!"

This particular conversation feels very much like Darcy trying to point out he's taken on too much and is letting his actual duties fall to the wayside (I had a supervisor like this, and boy did I have to solve a lot of problems on my own that I probably shouldn't have). Whether this is a valid arguement to make in this particular context is debatable (again, this topic is probably above the Detective's pay grade, but there is an arguement to made about it directly impacting her), and it's not like either of them is thinking any of this through, I just find it interesting how these replies line up.

[shesmore-shoebill]

I read your shourtmanda rpf ideas i would totally read any of those as fics. very fun. especially courtmanda first and they loop shayne in. i love it.

ah thank you! :D i mean. ill make zero promises on if i actually write these fics or not. i love doing this kind of mapping/puzzling/dynamic exploration/plotting thing where I take characters and rattle them around in jars/put them in situations and see what i think they'd do. I find it very fun. But, it's not the same as actually translating it into a readable fic, sadly. 😔

anyway, you didnt ask for it but. sure i can keep talking about shourtmanda that starts courtmanda first.

obligatory "rpf F for fiction". Not about real people, these are all my little rpf universe characters I am Putting Into Situations.

Anyway, Courtmanda first....... I know i've talked a decent amount about how I imagine Courtmanda in rpf, so I'll try not to dedicate a few paragraphs to it but like. Ghhh so much fun. Okay lets see.

In this world- maybe Shayne and Courtney who have been around each other long enough to trust each other, where romance with each other isn't even an active question- not in an unsustainable, unhappy way. Just people who know the other has their back, who haven't had to question it for a while, who have settled into.. something comfortable with each other. Maybe dabbling in dating, and they like to keep each other updated. But there hasn't been anything serious for a while.

And then Amanda comes in, and.... Courtney likes her. A lot. And look, its all fun and games, it's fine. Courtney has a little admiration crush on Amanda and mentions it to Shayne but its, not a big deal, really. Amanda flirts with everyone. Courtney loves a lot of her coworkers! Is there a lot of flirting. Yes. Does it FEEL weirdly sincere at times. Yes. Have the fake bit-kisses been drifting closer and closer. maybe. Things slowly get more intense but it never feels scary. Just surprising. The friendship and trust between them continues growing alongside everything else, and if Courtney's feelings don't exactly subside even as she gets to know Amanda better- that's fine.

And then. Shayne befriends Amanda, and they're doing the pod, and. Getting closer. and its like. Oh. Fuck. First of all. He hears her talk about Courtney and how she'll gush about them on a whim, he gets to witness how, yes, Amanda flirts with everyone but there's a different quality to this. After all the time of Courtney admitting and then playing off her feelings. It seems like. Maybe. Those feelings are not unrequited. Shit.

And also, despite himself. Despite all odds. He gets why Courtney is enamoured with her, where those feelings came from, why they haven't gone away. Because maybe he likes her too. Double shit.

How this plays out/how much everyone is personally aware of depends on personal preference for angst levels, probably. I lean towards Shayne being the most aware of his feelongs, but in a way where he's hopefully not agonized over it as much as "ah shit. ah fuck. that's not great." I want Shayne playing matchmaker to an extent between Courtmanda because both of them are...... either unaware (Amanda?) or convinced it won't/can't happen (Courtney, maybe Amanda too) and he wants them both to be happy. It maybe takes some time for him to feel as confident on his read of Amanda's feelings, but once he's sure its kind of like. My friends are great and like each other and I want them happy. This could solve itself, or they should at LEAST talk to each other about it. #communication.

Either way. Courtmanda agree with each other first. And then figure out how best to talk to Shayne about it, because they know he wouldn't otherwise. OR they DON'T plan it out very well, and instead are flirting with him and Shayne is losing it a little because what the Fuck are they Doing He is In HELL. These are his friends who should be happy and dating each other and who he MAYBE he feelings for. and they KEEP FLIRTING WITH HIM. And is he evil for enjoying it but also they're together and he shouldn't be- oh god. Sorry Shayne. (Ladies!!! COMMUNICATE!! WITH!! HIM!!)

They do eventually talk. And more than talk. and they keep talking. and some way- some how- their feelings towards Shayne come to light. I'm open to lots of things in these scenarios, but I will say I don't see a world with my characterizations where Shayne is the one to try to bring himself in vs Courtney/Amanda making the move. Maybe Amanda talking to Courtney making Court realize their friendship with Shayne IS invaluable but their love isn't strictly platonic. Maybe Amanda realizing her own blossoming friendship with Shayne feels like its morphing into something different. Maybe Amanda feeling guilty because Shayne and Courtney should be each other's first and foremost. Courtney and Amanda both feeling guilty because theybhave each other! and yet. and yet. They both keeping wanting to talk to Shayne about it all. They both keep wanting Shayne around, maybe more than they should.

Shayne feeling odd because- he did it! He got his friends together and now has two happy friends, this should be objectively good. and yet.....

anyway. it all works out in the end either way. fun :) sorry i got a lil carried away lol.