#i realized that every time someone has said that they trust me (following a 'i dont know what im doing') has always led to people leaving m

[astrummorte]

oh! it's one big wrapped up ptsd episode!

[criminalamnesia]

HIIII!!! I just wanted to say that i really love ur writing! I've read ur traitor series and I can't wait for part 4! I'm a new author, and english isn't my first language, so it's sometimes very hard for me to write bcs i'm stil not that good, but ur fics have helped me improve<3💗!

thank you so much!🫶 im glad you’ve enjoyed the series! and speaking of part four, here it is :)

ALL PARTS CAN BE FOUND HERE

simon didn’t turn to watch you leave the gym.

he stood there, eyes forward, mask clenched in one fist. he could feel the blood drying on his skin. he made no move to wipe it away.

he didn’t blame you for your anger— he couldn’t. he understood the rage. had felt it himself a time or two.

but he couldn’t take everything lying down.

did he deserve your wrath, your fury? yes— and he knew that. there was no making up for what he did; he realized that, but why couldn’t you understand?

he’d never fully taken his walls down around you, and that was no fault of your own. he was a guarded man, and his past gave him every right to be.

he had been burned and broken too many times. he’d seen the people he loved murdered because of him.

he swore he would never let that happen again. he put those walls up, and you knocked some of them down.

but there were some you’d never gotten through, at least, simon told himself you hadn’t. there was always something he was holding back, a piece of himself he wouldn’t give freely. he told himself it was because he couldn’t stand to love you so deeply and then watch you leave.

but really, it was because he needed an out. he needed a way to justify his leaving if something ever happened— and that’s what got him here.

simon trusted the 141 with his life. he trusted his captain with his life. price had never led him astray; john knew his face well before any of the others. well before you.

and when someone you trust so deeply, someone you’ve followed for years, tells you that the person you love has betrayed your team?

you can’t help but believe them. and that’s what simon did.

the evidence was coincidental at first. wrong place, wrong time. but then, everything started to seem like more than a coincidence. pieces of a complicated puzzle were fitting together. things only you and the rest of the 141 would know were leaked.

and all the signs pointed to you.

and although he didn’t want to, simon couldn’t help it. the second price had confided in him that you may be the rat, simon began to distance himself. you had been confused, but he had offered no explanation.

price was the one to question you first. it was a heated conversation in his office, consisting of him showing you the evidence and you becoming furious at the accusations.

johnny came to you next, buttering you up with his flirtatious and unarming words before asking if you’d leaked information.

then there was kyle, who pleaded for the truth. he told you that a case was being built against you, and that if you came clean now, things wouldn’t be so bad.

simon never tried to talk to you about it. the other men would tell him what you’d said, but he had never gone to talk to you himself.

maybe it was pride. simon wasn’t trusting, not after his past. he had let the 141 in, had let you in. and now you were a suspected traitor, and he was angry at himself. angry he hadn’t seen it sooner; angry he’d let you in at all.

but maybe it was hurt. hurt that you’d done this to him, to the team, after knowing everything they’d been through. after stitching up wounds on the battlefield and taking bullets for one another. after sharing simon’s bed and whispering you loved him.

all he knew was that he trusted price. and as evidence built, so did the distance between the two of you, until you were tied to that chair.

and simon had taken his hurt, his anger, out on you. he wasn’t proud of it, and he knew now that he was wrong. but he was still a little angry. angry because you couldn’t see his side of things— not like he could see yours.

so, he was an ass. he didn’t apologize. he snuck flowers to your bedside but kept his distance. he told you to watch your tone because you were still part of the team, and speaking to price like that was only something an outsider would do.

and he told you that he’d spared your life because he had. anger had consumed him, and truthfully, you were lucky he hadn’t done worse.

even if he’d smothered his feelings for you with rage, he still harbored love for you, and that’s why some part of him held back.

he knew you would probably never forgive him. he had made his peace with that.

but he couldn’t stand the fact that you couldn’t understand why he’d done what he did.

the creak of the gym door opening broke simon from his thoughts. he pulled his mask back on before turning around and making his way to the door.

it took one firm knock on the door for price to answer.

the door clicked open, and price sighed when he saw simon, scrubbing a hand over his unruly beard before letting the taller man in. price turned, walking back to his desk chair, while simon closed the door behind him and locked it.

“this is a bloody mess,” the captain said, falling heavily into the chair. it squeaked at the sudden weight, old leather crinkling and crackling.

“doc came and saw me earlier, ‘fore she left for the night. told me about some new injuries, and yelled at me for letting that happen.”

simon didn’t speak. price’s eyes met his, and he sighed again.

“fuckin’ hell, simon. what the fuck did you say? doc said she had to stitch up both their hands.”

“doesn’t matter what I say,” simon spoke, eyes still on the captain “they won’t fuckin’ listen.”

price shook his head. “that’s not true, ‘nd we both know it,” he sounded tired as he spoke, dark bags under his eyes. he paused for a moment, then spoke again.

“spoke to laswell after you left earlier. she said she’ll try to speed up the transfer process. tryin’ to avoid more fuss, and im not fightin’ it any longer.”

“they’re part of our team,” simon spoke, tone rough.

price shook his head. “they are, but I can’t keep doin’ this. can’t keep pushin’ off transferin’ because of you lot. it may be better for us, but not for them.”

the room fell quiet. simon inhaled, exhaled. his fists clenched at his sides before quickly unfurling once more.

he didn’t have a right to be mad at you for leaving, but he was.

“laswell say anythin’ else about tha’ transfer?” simon asked.

price leaned back in his chair, arms folded across his chest. “not much. no word on where or with who, but even if she knew, doubt she’d tell us. for their sake.”

simon gave a small nod and made to turn, but froze as price spoke again.

“she did say she didn’t know if it would go through. they’d have to pass another eval.”

they both knew what that meant. if laswell said that, then she didn’t believe the transfer would happen. kate wouldn’t outwardly say it, but price had known what she’d meant.

pushing the transfer through wouldn’t matter if you couldn’t pass a physical and psychological evaluation— and laswell didn’t think you could.

although he wouldn’t admit it, price was unsure, too. torture was something that took an incredibly devastating toll on the mind and body.

but torture at the hands of your team? there was no telling the damage that that would do to someone. to you.

an honorable discharge was more likely. and, if that was the case, then your rage would likely grow tenfold.

you career, your livelihood, taken from you by the hands of the men you trusted the most. your family, cutting you up and pushing you out.

damned by your team and your country, regardless of everything you’d done for both of them during your service.

you were just another cog in the machine, one that had been damaged and discarded, and a discharge couldn’t make that any clearer.

he thought back to what you had said in the gym earlier, before you’d left.

‘you should have killed me.’

maybe he should have.

thanks to everyone for your patience! also just incase you didn’t see my post about it—

im no longer doing a taglist! my side blog @troiastitans will reblog my works from now on, so if you want to know when I post, follow that account and allow notifications!

as always, thank you for the love! (also I hope you all enjoyed a little peek into simon’s head!)

[janaispunk]

just close your eyes

chapter 3 • series masterlist

pairing: Joel Miller x f!reader

summary: An injured Joel and Ellie stumble into your home in the middle of the night. Against your better judgement, you decide to help them.

word count: ~2.2k

tags/warnings: post outbreak, slow burn, found family, age gap (sorry not sorry), able-bodied reader, angst, reader has a sad sad backstory and ptsd, hurt/comfort, fluff, eventual smut, vague description of an injury, implied death of a character, the angst is ANGSTING in this one

a/n: once again, i can't thank that jackson joel pedro photo enough for the inspiration that it's brought me. i hurt my own feelings with this chapter, and truth be told, it's gonna get worse from here.

follow @janaispunknotifs for fic updates and find my full masterlist here :)

dividers as always by the lovely @saradika-graphics 🤍

Over the following days, something of a routine forms between the three of you. 

Joel spends most of his time resting, asleep more often than not, the shape of him on your couch a picture that you grow familiar with. But as his fever goes down and the skin around his injury is less red than when you first laid eyes on it, you allow yourself the tentative hope that you might have been able to actually save him. 

You’re becoming less skittish around him, getting used to his rather gruff demeanor, slowly realizing that what Ellie said was indeed true, it’s not about you. You come to think he just doesn’t like needing and accepting help.

Ellie follows you around like a puppy, eager to soak up every scrap of knowledge that you can share with her. It’s not much, you think, mostly cooking, the task of turning supplies into various meals, given the limited resources that you have in this world. You like having her around, the almost constant stream of chatter and questions never annoying you.

It fills your usual silence, helps keeping you grounded in the present. Most of the time.

Now that you have company, it becomes painfully obvious to you how much time you spend in your head, just sitting and staring straight ahead, lost in your thoughts, oblivious to the time passing. You have taken to having a book open in your lap, to make it seem like you’re reading, but you find yourself looking down at the page without seeing it, not sure when you last turned it. 

It’s not what they would have wanted, you keep telling yourself, trying to shake yourself out of it. Well, it’s not like anything happened the way we wanted, the bitter voice in your head answers.

If Ellie or Joel notice, they don’t ask about it. You hear their voices in the night sometimes, both of them sleeping in your parents’ bedroom now, since the couch was starting to hurt Joel’s back. 

You don’t lock your door anymore, leaving it ajar, just like them. The thought of someone else being down here with you is soothing you, the fear of them being a possible threat basically nonexistent at this point. Instead, a different kind of fear sets in. 

They haven’t talked about where they are going, but you know that they’re not gonna stay forever. Once Joel is completely healed, and winter has given way to spring, they’ll most likely be off again, leaving you on your own again. You don’t want to grow attached, but it’s difficult not to, while being with other constantly. 

You and Joel are taking longer to warm up to each other than you and Ellie have, but you’ve gotten used to having him around you. It’s a quiet, but trustworthy, reassuring thing, his presence in your space. Now that he’s healing, he’s someone who you trust to take responsibility, to take care of things if needed. You’re not sure how you know, but you’re certain that he is.

One evening, Ellie finds the DVD collection that’s stashed away in the cabinet under the small TV in the corner of the room. You hadn’t watched anything in forever, not sure if it’s even still working, but her enthusiasm makes it impossible to turn her down. 

Even Joel pipes up at the prospect of a movie night, crouching down next to her to sift through the DVDs. They’re both drawn to the shitty action movies – usually not your preferred taste, but you find the corners of your mouth lifting when they both turn around simultaneously, looking for your approval of their choice. 

Joel pushes himself back up with a grunt, pressing the button on the TV and making it spring to life without issue. You settle deeper into the couch cushions, pulling a knitted blanket over yourself as you watch the opening credits play. 

It’s so comfortable, so normal, and you want to get lost in the feeling in a way that makes your heart ache. Ellie sits down beside you to share the blanket while Joel stretches his legs out on the other couch. A smile is tugging at his lips when he catches you looking at him, but it can’t hide the wariness in his eyes, mirroring your own. It’s the feeling of things being too good to be true, the fear of nothing good ever lasting, of the world crashing down around you again, that always accompanies you, and without asking, you know that he feels it too. You cast your eyes back to the screen, trying hard not to get yourself lost in the fear, but to enjoy the moments of peace while they last. 

Ellie loves the movie, her eyes wide at every action-packed sequence, gasping at every explosion. At one of the more absurd scenes, you can’t contain the burst of laughter that bubbles up your throat. You’re unexpectedly joined by the deeper rumble of Joel’s, a sound that you haven’t heard before. 

You glance at him, to find his eyes already on you, an emotion in them that you can’t place. Neither of you say a word, both quietly returning your eyes to the TV. 

When you’re lying in bed later that night, you still feel the smile on your face. 

While your closeness with Ellie came quickly, almost taking you by storm, it’s a quiet, slowly growing thing with Joel. 

It begins with him lingering in the kitchen when you’re preparing the morning coffee, asking you questions about the place, about keeping supplies, electricity, the safety measures. He helps you with cooking, grumbling about giving something back when you protest. 

He’s gruff, no comparison to Ellie’s lively chatter and endless questions, and it makes you nervous at first. But you get used to him, his more quiet demeanor, his dry humor. You can tell that he’s trying hard not to scare you again, avoiding sudden movements or getting loud, and while you appreciate it, you also can’t help but wonder how broken you must seem from the outside. 

He doesn’t ask prying questions about your past, how you’ve come to live here all alone, though you have to imagine that he’s curious. You don’t ask him about his either, even if you do wonder how he and Ellie ended up together. It’s a quiet mutual understanding and you’re grateful for it. 

You have to believe that he had his fair share of loss in his own life, that the both of them had; an inescapable reality at this point in the world’s history.

It’s like a silent camaraderie when he catches your eye as Ellie is reading out puns to the both of you once more, rolls his eyes in a way that still holds so much love for the girl next to you, but that fills you with the urge to giggle. It stops you in your tracks the first time it happens, the sensation so unfamiliar to you that you can’t place it for a second. 

When you smile at him, the corners of his mouth rise ever so slightly as well, before he huffs an exaggerated sigh at the joke that you just heard. It riles Ellie up, just like he wanted to, you suspect. But you block out her bickering at him, busy with your own thoughts. One thought in particular, one that you haven’t had about anyone since you were a teenager. 

Joel is kind of pretty when he smiles.

The both of them have also taken to working their way through the bookshelf that’s taking up most of one of the walls. It’s mostly guidebooks on hunting, gardening, self defense, anything that your father deemed possibly useful. Over time, you had added books from your old bedroom, the one upstairs, that you had hastily carried down the stairs, hoping for the familiar words to give you a sense of normalcy in a world where nothing was normal anymore. 

Joel sometimes talks to you about them, asking your opinion on which ones to read, discussing their contents with you. Over time, you realize that he does it when you’re zoning out, pulling you back into reality with the drawl of his low voice next to you. You’re thankful for it, not used to being cared for like this, but also mortified that as it seems, he does notice when you’re too deep inside your head.

It’s one of those afternoons, you’re just about to start preparing dinner, when Ellie asks if you have more books somewhere, about something cool. “Like what?” you reply, an easy smile on your face. 

“I don’t know,” she shrugs, “like comics, maybe? Ohh, or something about space?” 

It takes a moment before the words register, before they form a picture in your mind, the memory of exactly what she’s asking for. You stop in your tracks, frozen on your way to the kitchen. Your toes dig into the carpet beneath your bare feet. A faint trembling starts in your hands and slowly spreads through your body. 

Ellie says your name, an edge in her voice. You’re not sure what your face looks like. 

Your wide eyes find hers, looking up at you from where she was spread out on the floor, her hair splaying out over the scratchy rug, one of your books held over her head. You had joked about how that position couldn’t be comfortable a few minutes ago. 

You see Joel from the corner of your eye, slowly raising to his feet from the couch cushions. It feels like you can’t breathe, like you’re sucking in air but it doesn’t reach your lungs. 

A large, warm hand lands on your shoulder, making you jump. Joel rubs soothing circles over your back, your name a low rumble on his lips. 

“It’s– it’s not a problem if not,” Ellie murmurs, sitting up slowly, her eyes flicking between you and Joel, uncertainty written over her features. 

You force a shuddering breath in, using the sensation of Joel’s hand splayed over your back to ground yourself. Nodding your head, you will your voice to travel up your throat. 

“Yeah no, I– just a second.” 

Joel repeats your name, more questioning this time, but you ignore it, feet carrying you into the bathroom where you quickly shut the door behind you. Skin stretching over your knuckles, you stand over the sink, gripping its edges to stay upright. 

It’s what he would have wanted. He would have been so happy to share them. It’s true, you know what. 

You’re not sure what’s worse. Going in there yourself, crossing the threshold of a room that you haven’t entered in years, haven’t even opened the door to, or letting someone else do it, let them disturb the memory of a reality that you’ve tried to preserve in there. Too painful to touch, but too important to let go of. 

Steeling yourself, you return to the living area. Ellie and Joel are sitting close to each other, both of their heads flying up at the door opening. It’s obvious that they have been talking about you. You bite your lip. 

Ellie rises to her feet slowly, takes a tentative step toward you. “Listen, it’s not that important really–” She sounds like she’s talking to a skittish animal. 

You shake your head, not trusting your voice not to betray you. With a deep breath, you cross the room to the door beside yours. One of two that you keep firmly closed. 

It creaks on its hinges when you open it slowly, your hand shaking on the handle. You try not to look around, to keep your eyes closed to the truth that nothing changed in here, and yet everything changed. It’s stuffy, stagnant air that’s been untouched for too long, but it smells like him. Like he’s still here with you. 

You don’t see the unmade bed, still carrying the trace of the last time he got up, the stuffed lion beside the pillow. Don’t see the half finished drawings on the desk, or the mess of action figures in the corner. You grab the stack of comics from the nightstand, ignoring the way your vision blurs at the edges. Move on to the shelf, smaller than the one in the living room, blindly picking out random books. 

When you step out of the bedroom, quickly pulling the door shut behind you again, neither Joel or Ellie have moved. You can’t meet either one’s gaze, don’t want to see the expression in their eyes.

Ellie takes the stack of books from your outstretched hands, murmuring a thanks, and you sense that there are more words on the tip of her tongue. Questions, apologies, you don’t know and you don’t want to. 

Turning on your heels, you escape into your own room, closing the door as quickly as you can before you collapse on your bed. Tears flood your eyes in time with the memories flooding your head, threatening to pull you under and drown you under their waves. 

You hear their muffled voices through the door, but neither of them comes to disturb you. You’re thankful for it, not needing anyone to witness you in this state. Eventually, you drift off into sleep, your mind gladly giving way to unconsciousness.

The following night is the first time that Joel has to shake you awake from a nightmare.

thank you for reading 🤍 if you liked this, please consider reblogging, leaving a comment or sending an ask, it truly makes my day every single time!

[starsofteal]

Daylight

Halsin x Tav // Halsin x Reader

Summary: Tav misinterprets Halsin’s declarations, thinking he must not want her as much as she wants him. Can Halsin convince her of his love? A/N: Well, my first Halsin fic is here! Based off this dialogue from the game, featuring a classic miscommunication trope. When I first came across this dialogue, I found myself rather disappointed by Halsin’s declaration, and I realized I was focusing on all the wrong parts of it. I couldn’t get the idea out of my head, so here we have a scenario in which Tav has done the same. This fic is so self-indulgent it should be a crime. Warnings: Hurt/Comfort (emphasis on the comfort—I promise all’s well that ends well). Pretty spoiler free, except for the opening dialogue if you’re romancing Halsin and you want all that to be a surprise. 

“Relationship?” A deep chuckle rumbles in Halsin’s chest. A sinking feeling settles into your gut. You weren’t sure what to expect when you broached the topic of a potential relationship, but a laugh? A direct blow from an enemy sword would have hurt less. 

“Such terms belong to civilization—a little unfamiliar to my lips.” His words continued, but that soft smile, those kind eyes, the strong, steadfast shape of Halsin, it all begins to shift, distorting just slightly as traitorous tears prick at your eyes. A quick bite of your inner cheek reminds you to hold steady, to not let the tears fall—by every star in that gods damned sky, you are not going to let him see you cry. 

“…you and I should each seek happiness wherever it lies…”

He’s still going on? You think to yourself. How long can one rejection take? You bite your cheek even harder, a coppery tang bursting on your tastebuds. 

Halsin’s words echo in your mind, despite the fact that his monologue seems to continue, piercing your heart again and again, the pain stealing the breath from your lungs. You will yourself to take in another breath.

“Let others know the happiness of being with you.” Halsin smiles down on you, not an ounce of malice in those soft green eyes. The staunch difference between his kindhearted gaze and the red-hot pain radiating in your chest was nearly laughable. In fact, at that very moment, you were unsure if your next steps would include crying, laughing, or launching an all out assault on the mountain of a man before you—an action that would surely not work out in your favor given the comical size difference between you two. 

In the end, it was all you could do to offer a small, meager, “I see.” It’s a notable effort to keep the emotion from your voice, but you’re proud of the attempt all the same.

A frown breaks out across Halsin’s face, his brows knitting together in confusion. “Have I said something wrong, my heart?” 

Those two words are a slap to your face. You don’t trust yourself to speak, not again, so without a word you turn and make your way to your tent as fast as your feet can take you. 

The fabric barely has time to fall in place behind you before the warm tears finally break free. 

_________

Two days had passed since the incident. While you wanted nothing more than to mope about on your bedroll and avoid Halsin altogether, your situation doesn’t exactly allow for such luxuries. 

Which is how you find yourself in the woods with Shadowheart, foraging for ingredients to top off your party’s supply of potions and tonics. Though you left early in the morning, the sun glares bright overhead now. Wiping a bead of sweat from your brow, you crouch low beneath a bush and scan the area for the bright violet blooms Shadowheart had you scouting for. 

“I just don’t understand why you had to drag me out for this,” you fuss at your friend as thorns from the underbrush prick your side. Your clothing offers little protection against natures most irritating defenses. 

“Surely there’s…someone more suited to this than I.” Your following scowl can’t be entirely blamed by the literal thorn in your side, not as thoughts of Halsin flash through your mind once more. 

Shadowheart hums absentmindedly. “Yes, this is true. Halsin is more in tune with the forest,” she mutters, collecting something from the earth too small for your eyes to make out. A soft clink tells you the specimen makes it into the glass bottle. “I was actually hoping to talk to you about that,” Shadowheart continues, popping the cork back on the bottle and tucking it away. 

“About what?” You hiss as another thorn embeds itself in your palm. You toss a scowl her way before distracting yourself from the conversation as you fiddle with removing the thorn. You’re not sure which hurts worse, the abrupt change in conversation topic or the wound in your hand. Impervious to your dirty looks, Shadowheart makes her way over to you. 

“Well, you two were nearly inseparable. Absolutely enamored with each other—anyone could see it.” She takes your hand into her own to assess the damage.

“And now, well, if I’m being completely honest dear, you’re rather dour, you seldom leave your tent, or you’re looking for any excuse to get away from the party—sorry this’ll only hurt a second.” You wince as she pulls the thorn free and presses hard on the wound to stanch any bleeding. “And, well, Halsin’s been…unusually forlorn. Like a poor dog that’s been kicked in the stomach.” 

With a scoff you withdraw your hand, taking care to apply pressure to it just as Shadowheart had done. 

“I couldn’t care less what Halsin’s been doing.” The lie is ash on your tongue. 

Shadowheart looks at you then, really looks at you. You try your best not to fidget under her assessing gaze. 

“What happened?” 

“I—“ 

“And don’t bother lying to me,” she’s quick to interrupt. “Save it for someone else. I know something has been bothering you.” 

Resignation floods you. Leave it to Shadowheart to see right through your bravado and into your heart. 

“I was a fool for thinking he could ever be happy with me.” The words are soft as they fall from your lips, but they burn your heart all the same. A firm weight falls on your shoulder as Shadowheart offers an encouraging hand. 

“Tell me everything.”

_______

Halsin’s voice calls out your name from just outside Shadowheart’s tent. His low timbre still brings a tightness to your chest, but you will yourself to breathe normally. You’d been doing your best to avoid him since getting back to camp with Shadowheart, but you suppose now is as good a time as any to rip that particular bandage off. 

“Yes, Halsin?” You ask matter of factly, not even looking up from the array of ingredients you’re currently sorting through. You pointedly ignore his gaze as he steps into the tent, taking up a majority of the albeit limited empty space. 

Halsin clears his throat, clearly uncertain how to proceed. You two had always shared such an easygoing openness between you,  but the last two days had left him scrambling for purchase. 

“I was hoping we could talk,” Halsin smiles down at you, undeterred by your clear avoidance. 

“Mm, we are talking.” You collect up one of the empty potion bottles, wiping at a smudge spot with the edge of your tunic. 

Halsin forces a chuckle, but his smile doesn’t reach his eyes. “Of course we are, but, erm, perhaps we could go for a walk? Enjoy some of nature’s company for the evening?”

“That won’t be necessary.” Your tone is sharper than you’d intended, but the guilt passes over you in a second as you replay his words in your mind, his scoff when you so much as mentioned a potential relationship. 

Halsin sighs. He had hoped that his 300 odd years of experience would give him a leg up in navigating this prickly conversation, but—as is usual when you’re involved—his heart and his tongue seem to be tripping over one another. 

 “My heart,“

That gets your attention. Your gaze snaps up to his, laced with venom. 

“You do not get to call me that. Not anymore.” 

Halsin feels his own chest start to cave in as the hurt flashes across your face—you master it a moment later, but the damage is done. 

“I’m not sure what I’ve done to upset you,” he starts, but you interject again. 

“It’s fine. I’m not upset,” you force some neutrality back in your voice. “You weren’t interested in things continuing between us, and that’s fine. Nothing to apologize for.” You gesture to the flap of the tent. “You can take your leave now.” 

Halsin does the opposite, braving another step closer. 

“Of course I need to apologize. It appears my words have caused some confusion. Worse yet, I fear they’ve caused you pain.” 

At that, you still, finger pausing over the bottles set up in front of you. 

“You must know that I would never intend to hurt you.” Halsin’s tone was bordering on pleading. “Even now, it physically pains me to know that I’ve hurt you so.” He draws a hand to his chest, moving as if to soothe an ache that’s nestled beneath the surface there. 

You glance up to see the hurt now reflecting in his eyes. It’s enough to bring forth a sigh from your lips, your shoulders caving in as resignation takes over your body. Even now, you can’t find it within yourself to hate him, no matter how much easier it would make this. 

“You’re not responsible for my feelings, Halsin,” you sigh. “They are my own.” 

“No, but I do take responsibility for my words,” he counters. 

“You don’t want a relationship with me and you said as much. There’s nothing left to be said.” Despite your best attempts, your voice breaks on the last word. You close your eyes, clinging to the blunt words, mentally rebuilding your armor to power through the rest of this conversation. 

“There is so much left to say, my heart.” Halsin’s gentle words caress your face like the sun’s rays on a warm summer day. “I have so much left to say.” 

You keep your eyes closed, focus on taking another breath, keeping your heart steady. “Then speak.” 

“I love you.” 

Your eyes spring open, and Halsin is before you, close enough to touch. A large, tentative hand reaches up to cradle your face. You don’t pull away, and that’s enough to bring relief to Halsin’s heart. 

“I don’t understand,” you whisper, afraid your mere voice would crack the perilously thin ice you suddenly find yourself on. “You said—“ 

“That I would not keep you to myself,” Halsin is quick to finish the thought. 

“That we should seek out other people,” you correct, a touch of anger shading the words as you step out of Halsin’s grip. 

At that, Halsin’s eyes widen. “No.” His voice holds more sharpness than the druid had ever shown with you before. “I said no such thing.” 

“Well, maybe not exactly, but the sentiment was there,” you grumble, the frustration seeping through at your hazy memory. 

“That ‘sentiment’ is misguided.” His tone leaves no room for argument, but you do it anyway. 

“Well, forgive me if I don’t have it memorized word for word—I was a little busy having my heart broken,” you snap. 

Halsin pauses for a heartbeat and you watch the pain shine in his pale green eyes at your words.

“And I will never forgive myself for the pain I’ve caused you these last few days. But listen to my words now. I beg of you.” 

Another heartbeat passes. He takes your silence as permission to continue.

“I don’t abide by these conventional rules set in place by society. My home is in nature, and I follow the path the Oak Father has set before me. These ideals of what relationships should or shouldn’t be, you’ll have to forgive me if they're all but foreign to me.” 

Another wave of disappointment washes over you and you close your eyes in a futile attempt to deter the familiar pinpricks of tears. A warm, familiar hand caresses your face before tilting your chin up to bring your gaze to his. 

“But trust me when I tell you that I have never met someone like you. My heart does not stir lightly. But it does for you. What I feel for you pales in comparison to those who came before you.” 

There is no doubting the sincerity that lies in those soft verdant eyes. 

"It feels as though I have been asleep in a centuries long dark night, and now I am finally seeing daylight,” Halsin’s deep voice soothes, each word repairing the aches and tears of your heart.  

“There is no one else for me, my heart. Call it what you wish; you are all I want. Nothing would make me happier than to have you by my side for the rest of my days, if that is what you desire as well.

My love for you runs deep and true. Never doubt it, my heart.”

And then his lips are on yours, and every thought eddies out of your head, but one: Halsin loves you. 

Pure joy and relief floods your body and you don’t even bother trying to stop the tears of joy that follow. Halsin pulls back from the kiss just enough to swipe the tears from your cheek.

“I love you, too, Halsin,” you whisper in the space between you as Halsin presses his forehead to yours. 

“Forgive me, my heart. For the pain I have caused you.” 

You smile up at that handsome face you’ve grown to hold so dearly. Your slender hand  reaches up to caress his cheek, tracing the swirls of his tattoo. “Only if you’ll forgive my foolishness for doubting you.” You feel the shame rise up, bringing a heat to your cheeks.

“My heart, there is nothing to forgive,” Halsin murmurs before pressing another kiss to your forehead.

[celaenaeiln]

What are some of your favorite Dick Grayson moments?

Please and Thank You 😃

My favorites will always be Dick being the canonical center of the DC universe 😌

Dark Crisis Issue #1

The greatest hope and the leader of the ages

Nightwing (2016) Issue #49

The Brave and Bold (2007) Issue #15

"And no one doubts that you're the best one to strategize a counterattack."

"Next to Superman, Dick Grayson is the one guy alive that every other crimefighter trusts."

JLA/Titans Issue #2

"--Founders of the original Teen Titans--"

Titans (2003) Issue #23

"It's a natural thing when Nightwing shows up. None of us are conscious of it, really--but we all look to him for orders."

Nightwing (2016) Issue #9

"You vouching for someone is worth its weight in gold. It was true in my world, and it's true in this one. In fact, of everyone I've met here, you're the least changed from the version I knew. Always confident, always kind, always cool. Dick Grayson--the multiuniversal constant."

JLA (1997) Issue #73

"It was sad at first. We were discussing the work--this work...and I asked him if he ever felt pride." "He didn't....then he stopped for a second and said...'The only time I ever feel pride is when I look at Nightwing. Sometimes I think he's the only thing I ever did right.'"

Batman: Urban Legends Issue #22

"We have a shorthand I don't share with any of the others, save for maybe Alfred. He's always been the one keeping me centered. Grounded."

"Dick's the beating heart of this family we've created, whether he realizes it or not."

Titans (2003) Issue #6

JLA (1997) Issue #71

Nemesis - The Impostors Issue #3

Batman!Dick - he's so freaking cool!!!

He's so amazing and cool and extraordinary and over competent. He's what everyone looks up to. He's collectively placed on a pedal so high by every hero and anti-hero in that everyone wants to be him or be acknowledged by him. People have died in his footsteps. Even the Titans, his own friends, hero-worship, look up to him as the peak of excellence and goodness.

Justice League of America (2006) Issue #50

Roy

World's Finest: Teen Titans Issue #5

Titans (2016) Annual 1

The paragon of rightness and justice of the world - Superman - thinks dick is the best thing to ever come into existence.

Whenever you read a comic, there's always some character that goes "Nightwing!" when something happens and another responds "Dude, he's Nightwing. He'll be fine. He always is." That's the amount of confidence heroes have in him to always succeed and excel.

Like Kon said - when he shows up, people automatically fall in line. It's like second-nature to just follow him.

Dick has that Charisma, the leadership, and the strength to hold the entire community together and as a result the world. He's proven it, he's done it. Whenever the Justice League evaporates in any situation - because this isn't the first time the JL have died/gone missing - everyone turns to Nightwing for order and direction.

Truly, he's the greatest.

[comicaurora]

I've started making my way through the playlist hbomberguy made of actually good video essays by queer creators and spotted a comment of yours on the one about the relationship between Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy, which was fun xD red in the wild!

Anyways, just wanted to appreciate how both you and Blue and you are very good at showing your sources! It's always nice to know that the people you've watched for years have good habits after an event like this, and I hope you guys are among the people that get some new fans after this whole debacle, because your channel definitely qualifies for "good educational videos made by queer people"

I'm glad! Blue's much better about listing his sources and follow-up reading than I am.

To be honest, I loved the video, but my imposter syndrome always flares like crazy when I watch an essay like that. It might be the ADHD or it might just be who I am as a person, but I feel like I've lived my whole life striving to make everything I do the best it can be, and still managing to fuck up and get criticised for things I could've done better if only I never missed anything. It's an actual gut-drop when it turns out a source I used wasn't trustworthy, or when in older videos I only went wiki-deep for some claims and didn't check every source to be 100% sure I wasn't being goat-fish'd. And this being the internet, I can get criticized at any time for things I've gotten wrong years ago, since it's evergreen online and to the new-viewing critic it's as fresh as yesterday. It makes it hard for me to stay proud of my work past the first moment of "oh I would've done that different now". There's a cocktail of complicated, scary feelings around this space, no matter how little I actually have in common with the bad guys of this scenario - it's less about the reality and more about who my imposter syndrome tells me I am. I saw several people saying that the video actually made them feel much better about their own work because it made it clear that accidental plagiarism on that scale is impossible, but if my anxieties listened to reason I would've successfully machete'd them out of my skull years ago. I just hope I never fuck up badly enough to deserve an hbombing of my own.

But my own stress aside, the hbomb essay exposed a level of laxness, laziness and entitlement on the part of these plagiarists that I think is almost incomprehensible to people who actually create for a living or even just the joy of it. How hollow do you have to be to take in someone else's writing and not consider it, digest it, let it reshape your views and then formulate your own interpretation on it, but instead to file off the serial numbers and pretend it's yours, trusting that the person whose thoughts and words you valued enough to steal will never be powerful enough to call you out on it? I go down research rabbit holes because I love the frustration and thrill of putting something together! How joyless it must be to skim the surface and borrow someone else's conclusions!

I've sometimes had people email asking for sources on parts of my interpretation of various myths, possibly in the interest of source-citing for school papers (a nightmare concept in and of itself) and with very few exceptions I usually have to tell them "the only sources were the english translations I used of the primary source where the myth was originally written, like I said in the video, and the part where I said I was conspiracy-boarding has no source other than my own analysis of the given source, which is why I called it conspiracy-boarding" and I was always a little baffled by those emails - half the videos are introduced like "this is The Prose Edda" or "this is in Ovid's Metamorphoses" or "this bit is Hesiod" so what else could they want - but seeing the hbomb of the week made me realize that truly original analysis might not be what most people are expecting from a "thing summarized." They might be expecting a compilation of other people's summaries instead.

[permanentswaps]

The Cursed Hunk, Pt. 4

Read Part 1 and Part 2 by @manswaps and Part 3 by me.

Jared’s POV

I darted towards the bathroom, my body pulsating with an intense horniness that made it hard to think straight. As I rounded the corner, I collided with someone, nearly bouncing off their solid frame.

"Whoa, watch it!" a deep voice rumbled. I looked up to see an older, muscular guy with short silver hair and massive pecs standing before me. He was shirtless and clearly enjoying showing off his impressive physique.

"Sorry, man," I muttered, my breath catching at the sight of his muscles. "I just... I'm so horny right now. I need to get off or get out of this body."

The man raised an eyebrow, clearly intrigued and a bit confused by my frantic words. "Get out of this body?" he repeated, skepticism evident in his voice. "What do you mean by that?"

I glanced around, making sure no one else was listening. "This body isn’t mine," I explained in a low voice. "I swapped into it. It’s a long story, but I need to swap again, and fast."

He chuckled, shaking his head. "Sounds like a kinky game you’re playing, kid. But sure, I’ll play along. What do you need?"

I sighed, frustrated but determined to make him understand. "No, it’s not a game. It’s real. I need to find someone willing to swap bodies with me."

His eyes widened slightly, a flicker of understanding crossing his face. "So, you’re serious? You can actually swap bodies?"

I nodded vigorously. "Yes! Please, just trust me. I’ll show you."

He extended his hand, a sly grin spreading across his face. "Name’s Derell, by the way. Let’s see what you’ve got, kid."

Relief washed over me, and I quickly led him to a stall in the bathroom. Once inside, I had us verbally agree to the swap. Moments later, I found myself looking down at my new, older body, marveling at the sheer strength and bulk of it.

Derell, now in the younger body I had just vacated, looked around, wide-eyed. "Damn, this is incredible," he muttered.

Without wasting another moment, I pulled him into a passionate kiss, our bodies pressing against each other in the confined space. The sensation of his firm muscles against mine was electrifying, and soon we were lost in the heat of the moment, our bodies moving in sync as we fucked in the stall.

Derell leaned against the wall, catching his breath. "Damn, this body really is super horny," he muttered, a mix of relief and amazement in his voice.

I nodded, still adjusting to my new, older body. "Yeah, it has a mind of its own sometimes. But it can be fun."

Derell chuckled, running a hand over his smooth, younger chest. "I can see why you were so desperate. This is quite the experience." Looking back at me, he said "So, how does this swap thing work exactly? Is it permanent?"

I shook my head. "It’s all about agreement. As long as both parties consent, the swap can happen."

A sly grin spread across Derell’s face. "I can work with that," he said.

Before I could say anything else, he slipped out of the stall and headed back into the club. I quickly followed, pushing through the throng of dancing bodies to keep an eye on him. The club was packed, the bass thumping through the floor and the lights flashing in a mesmerizing pattern.

Derell wasted no time, diving into the crowd and immediately drawing attention. His new, younger body seemed to have a magnetic effect on people, and soon he was surrounded by a group of attractive men, all eager to get to know him.

I struggled to keep up, trying to weave through the sea of people. "Hey, Derell!" I called out, but my voice was lost in the cacophony of music and chatter. By the time I reached the spot where I had seen him last, he was gone.

Panic set in as I scanned the room frantically, my eyes darting from one face to another. Where could he have gone? I pushed my way through the crowd, checking every corner of the club, but there was no sign of him. The realization hit me hard: that body was the only way any of us had back to our original bodies, I just lost him, and who knows how many other people he could swap tonight. This is bad. Really bad.

I need to find Seth. Now.

Seth’s POV

As I sat in the lounge with Diego, I found myself becoming more relaxed and comfortable in my dad's body. Diego's charm and confidence made it easy to forget the initial awkwardness. His touch, his laugh, the way his eyes crinkled at the corners—it all felt incredibly intoxicating.

"So, Marcus," Diego said, leaning in closer, "you ...."

He was interrupted by an older, muscular guy with short silver hair and massive pecs pushing through the crowd towards us.

"Hey," he said, his voice deep and commanding. "Can I talk to you for a minute?"

I started to introduce him to Diego, unsure of who he actually was. "This is..."

"Jared," he finished, shooting me a look that clearly said we needed to talk.

"Uh, sure," I said, turning to Diego with an apologetic smile. "Give me a second?"

Diego nodded, a curious smile on his lips. "Of course."

Jared pulled me aside, his grip firm but not forceful. "We have a problem," he said in a low, apologetic voice. "I swapped with some guy named Derell. I can't find him, and he’s got that cursed body."

Realizing that this meant I said, "What the hell happened?"

"I know, I know," he said quickly, his tone genuinely remorseful. "But I need your help to find him. Otherwise we’ll be stuck like this."

I glanced back at Diego, who was watching us with mild curiosity. "Look, I'm kind of in the middle of something here," I said, my frustration evident. "I'm trying to enjoy this just like you said. You handle this."

Before Jared could argue further, Diego stood up and approached us. "Is everything alright?" he asked.

"Yeah," I said quickly. "Jared here just came over to tell me he wanted to head out soon and ask me if i had seen our other friend." I turned back to Jared “Sorry man I haven't, but it shouldn’t be too hard to find him, right?”

“Right,” Jared replied, “Sorry to interrupt.”

As Jared disappeared back into the club, Diego looked back at me and smiled. "Well, if everything's settled, how about we head back to my place? It's a bit quieter there."

My heart skipped a beat. "That sounds great," I said.

Diego's apartment was close by, a sleek and modern space that felt warm and inviting. As soon as the door closed behind us, he pulled me into a deep, passionate kiss. Any lingering tension melted away as we stumbled towards his bedroom, shedding clothes along the way.

In the bedroom, we fell onto the bed, our hands exploring each other's bodies with a hunger that felt insatiable. Diego's touch was electric, sending shivers down my spine.

"Haha, yours isn’t too bad either," I replied, letting my fingertips glide along his smooth, bare waist. The sensation of his skin under my touch was electric, sending shivers down my spine.

He reached over to his bedside table and handed me a bottle of lube. I squirted some onto my hands, warming it up between my palms before reaching down.

As I slipped one finger into his ass, he let out a soft moan, his body arching slightly. "Mmm, that feels good," he murmured.

I added a second finger, then a third, stretching him gently and watching his expressions shift with pleasure. "You ready?" I asked, positioning myself and lining my cock up against his hole.

"Yes, sir," he replied smugly, his eyes glinting with anticipation.

As I slid myself in, his cocky smile quickly turned to one of surprise. I guess my new cock was a bit bigger than he was expecting. He gasped, his eyes widening as he adjusted to the size.

"Whoa," he breathed, his hands gripping the sheets.

I started out with slow, deep thrusts, making sure to massage his torso as he took it. My hands roamed over his chest, rubbing and pinching his nipples, feeling his heartbeat quicken under my touch. His body responded eagerly, his moans growing louder with each movement.

"God, you feel amazing," Diego panted, his fingers digging into my back.

I increased the pace gradually, our bodies moving in perfect sync. The room was filled with the sound of our heavy breathing and the rhythmic slap of skin against skin. Diego's moans grew more urgent, his body trembling beneath mine. I knew he was close, and I was too, the pressure building to an almost unbearable level.

"Come for me," I whispered, my lips brushing against his ear.

With a final, deep thrust, Diego cried out, his body convulsing as he reached his climax. The sight of him losing control pushed me over the edge, and I followed him into bliss, every muscle in my body tensing and then releasing in a wave of ecstasy.

We lay there afterward, tangled together, our breaths slowly returning to normal. Diego turned to me with a lazy smile, his eyes half-closed in contentment. "You, Marcus, are something else."

I grinned, feeling a deep satisfaction that went beyond the physical. "So are you, Diego. So are you."

[iovebarca]

Shared Revelation - Marc Guiu

Authors note: now what the fuck was that match

Warnings: incorrect grammar (probably), my first language isn't english so if you notice any mistakes please tell me, just fluff!

WC: 1000+

Summary: On a vacation with friends, a booking error has you and Marc sharing a bed. As night falls, conversations lead to mutual confessions of long-held feelings. The moment culminates in a kiss, marking the start of a promising romance.

The anticipation for the annual friend group vacation had been building for weeks. This year, you were headed to a picturesque mountain retreat, nestled among towering pines and overlooking a pristine lake. Everyone was thrilled at the prospect of a week of relaxation, adventure, and bonding.

As the group arrived at the vacation rental, excitement filled the air. But as the door swung open and everyone piled inside, there was a collective gasp of dismay.

"We... we booked a house with five rooms instead of six," Héctor, the organizer of the trip, announced sheepishly, staring at the floor as if hoping it would offer a solution.

Panic bubbled up within the group as they realized the implications of this oversight. With six people on the trip, someone would have to share a room. Amidst the chaos of sorting out sleeping arrangements, you exchanged a nervous glance with Marc, your friend and longtime crush.

"It's fine, we can make do," Marc said with a reassuring smile, though you could see the uncertainty flickering in his eyes.

You tried to ignore the butterflies in your stomach as you followed Marc to the designated room, heart pounding with a mixture of excitement and trepidation.

The room was cozy, with a rustic charm that matched the rest of the house. A large, comfortable-looking bed dominated the space, its crisp white sheets inviting you to sink into its embrace. You couldn't help but feel a flush of heat rise to your cheeks as you realized what sharing a bed with Marc would entail.

"We'll make it work," Marc said, breaking the silence that had settled between you.

You nodded, unable to trust your voice as you busied yourself unpacking your belongings. The tension in the air was palpable as you and Marc avoided each other's gaze, both acutely aware of the intimacy of the situation.

The mountain air was crisp and cool as you and Marc settled into the warmth of the cabin after a day of exploring. The fire crackled merrily in the fireplace, casting flickering shadows across the room as you both laid on the bed, lost in conversation.

As the night wore on, the conversation drifted from one topic to the next, weaving through memories of childhood and dreams for the future. You found yourself opening up to Marc in a way you never had before, sharing secrets and stories that you had kept hidden for years.

"It's funny how things change," Marc mused, a nostalgic smile tugging at his lips. "I never would have imagined we'd end up here, sharing a bed in the middle of nowhere."

You laughed, the sound echoing softly in the quiet of the cabin. "Life has a funny way of surprising us," you agreed, feeling a warmth spread through you at the realization that Marc was opening up to you too.

But as the conversation lulled and silence settled between you, a tension hung in the air, thick and palpable. You could feel Marc's gaze on you, intense and searching, and you swallowed nervously, unsure of what to say.

And then, without warning, Marc's words spilled out in a rush, tumbling over each other in a jumble of emotion.

"I can't stop thinking about you," he confessed, his voice raw with vulnerability. "Every moment we spend together, every laugh we share, it just makes me want you more. I know it's probably the worst timing, but I can't keep pretending that I don't feel this way."

His words hung in the air, heavy with meaning, and for a moment, you were frozen, unable to process the whirlwind of emotions that swept through you.

But then, before you could overthink it, before you could second-guess yourself, you leaned forward and pressed your lips to his, silencing his words with a kiss.

The world fell away as the kiss deepened, passion igniting between you like a flame catching fire. In that moment, there were no words, no doubts, only the overwhelming certainty that this was where you were meant to be.

"Since when have you liked me?" you whispered, your voice barely more than a breath against his lips.

Marc's eyes softened, a fond smile playing at the corners of his mouth. "Since the day I met you," he admitted, his voice barely more than a whisper. "I just didn't realize it until now."

"How long... how long have you liked me?"

Your heart skipped a beat at the question, the weight of his words sinking in as you realized the gravity of what he was asking. How long had you liked Marc? It was a question you had avoided answering for so long, even to yourself.

And yet, as you met Marc's gaze, you knew that there was only one answer.

"Since forever," you admitted, your voice barely more than a whisper. "I've always known, Marc. I just... I just didn't know how to say it."

There was a brief pause, the air charged with anticipation. Then, as if drawn together by an invisible force, you and Marc leaned in simultaneously, closing the gap between you with a tender, heartfelt kiss.

In that moment, everything else faded away—the crackling fire, the soft glow of the moonlight filtering through the windows, the distant sound of the wind outside. There was only the warmth of Marc's lips against yours, the gentle pressure of his hand on your cheek, and the overwhelming rush of emotion that flooded your senses.

It was a kiss that spoke volumes, a silent affirmation of the feelings you had both kept hidden for so long. And as you finally pulled away, breathless and flushed, you knew that this was just the beginning of something beautiful, something real.

With a smile that echoed the joy in your heart, Marc whispered, "I'm glad we finally said it."

And you couldn't help but agree, knowing that from this moment on, you and Marc would face whatever challenges came your way together, hand in hand, hearts entwined in a love that was as deep as it was undeniable.

[suuuupernovaaa]

tìsraw seyki

tìsraw seyki [tɪ.ˈsɾaw sɛj.ˈk·i] vtr. hurt (someone or something)

Anonymous Request: I was wondering if you could do a fic with reader and Neteyam having an argument with Neteyam calling the reader clingy? She’s known for being quiet and reserved and was shy at the start of their relationship, and it took a while for her to open up, so it hits her pretty hard. They make up and stuff but reader keeps her distance bcos she took his comment seriously, and Neteyam isn’t aware of how much his words hurt her.

1,560 words

I dismounted 'Rrta, my Iran, and gave her a loving hug before ensuring the saddle was tight and bidding her a farewell for now.

My riding partner, Neteyam, was already walking away when I turned to join him.

"Wait up," I called, scaling rocks to reach him. I reached out, grabbing his shoulder, but for the first time since I'd known him, Neteyam shrugged off my hand.

I stopped in my tracks, and felt my body tense all over.

"Neteyam?" I asked.

"I need a little space, Y/N. Stop clinging to me. I'll see you later."

He didn't even do me the courtesy of turning around when he said it. He simply stalked away, down the mountain and into the forest, leaving me there alone.

I waited for a long time before moving, to ensure I wouldn't catch up with him, and all the while I wondered what I could have possibly done wrong.

Stop clinging to me.

Was that something I was doing? Neteyam and I spent a lot of our time together, that was to be sure... but I thought he enjoyed spending time with me. In fact, he had taken great pains to ensure I thought that. I was naturally pretty reserved, and not very trusting, and Neteyam had worked hard over months and months to convince me his feelings were genuine, to show me how much he cared for me.

So why this change now? What had changed his mind about me? Had he just gotten to know me better and realized I was annoying, clingy, and not fun to be around?

He could have at least told me that.

It was nearly dark when I returned home, and tucked myself in my hammock to cry myself to sleep.

--

Neteyam found me the next morning, setting out for a hunt, by myself.

"Where are you going?" he asked.

I raised my brow at him. "Hunt. See you later."

Turning, I strapped my bow over my chest, and made to take off, but Neteyam grabbed my arm.

"I'm sorry, about yesterday. I was annoyed at Lo'ak and I took it out on you. I shouldn't have done that."

He seemed genuine, and he looked sorry... so I nodded. "It's okay. I'll see you later."

His apology was not enough to cover the damage that his words the day before had done. I didn't believe him - if he was annoyed at Lo'ak, there was no need to ask me for space or call me clingy. It felt like an excuse, and I wasn't ready to dig deeper and hear the real reason he'd said it.

So, I turned and ran, and he didn't follow.

--

"She's just been... weird," Neteyam said to his sister, Kiri, a few days later. The two were walking together, back from a long ride, and Neteyam was concerned.

Ever since their fight, which Neteyam had thought was so small, Y/N had been distant with him. She had accepted his apology, but he'd hardly seen her since, and when he had, something had seemed so strange about her.

She barely touched him. Her smile didn't meet her eyes. She just seemed... really sad.

"Has she said anything to you?"

Kiri shook her head. "Didn't you say you had a fight?"

"Yeah, but, I thought we got past it." Neteyam pushed a large leaf out of his way, and held it for his sister. "I said I was sorry, and she said it was okay."

"What was the fight?" Kiri asked.

"Well, you remember that day that Lo'ak was a huge pain in the ass?"

Kiri rolled her eyes. "Every day."

Neteyam laughed. "Right but, it was particularly bad, and I got my ass chewed for it. And then Y/N wanted to go on a ride but, I just wasn't in the mood. She insisted though, because we hadn't seen each other all day. So I went but, afterwards, I told her I wanted to be alone."

Kiri pursed her lips as they walked through the muggy jungle. "Is that all you said?"

"I said she had been clinging to me."

Kiri stopped in her tracks. "You did not."

"What? Was that bad?"

Kiri put her face in her hands and sighed. "Neteyam, you moron. Do you really not see what the problem is?"

Arms outstretched, Neteyam shook his head. "No!"

"You moron!" Kiri repeated. "Y/N is so shy, and so quiet, and it took you so long to get her to open up to you! You complained for months about how she probably didn't like you because she was so nervous and shy, and I told you so many times she was just having a hard time trusting you. And you finally get her to trust you, and you do this? You make her think that you think she's annoying?"

Neteyam's mouth full open and he leaned back, the realization washing over him. "Shit."

"So she probably thinks you don't like her anymore, and she's so hurt she can't even be around you. And you're here complaining to me about it instead of groveling at her feet! Do you love her or not?"

Neteyam felt like a hand was squeezing his heart. He had never loved anyone the way he loved Y/N, and he couldn't believe how stupid and careless his words had been. He didn't think she was clingy, he had just lashed out in frustration after a really bad day, instead of letting her be there for him.

He had shown her what a bad made he would be. He had disappointed her, and himself.

He took off without another word, running as fast as he could to find his woman.

--

It had been such a hot day, a swim in a cool spring was exactly what I needed. I scrubbed myself from head to toe, undoing my braids and scrubbing my scalp, until I felt fresh and brand new.

I lay in the water now, only my face above the surface, so I didn't hear him at first when he approached.

He was entering the water when I opened my eyes and saw him. A few days ago, I would have felt nothing but excitement upon seeing Neteyam - now, I felt dread. Would this be the time he would tell me he was no longer interested?

I'd been avoiding him for this very reason. I wasn't ready for it to end.

"Neteyam," I said, sitting up so the water came almost to my shoulders, and pulled my knees to my chest.

"Y/N! I have been searching for hours. We need to talk."

I bit my lip and turned away, trying to force the tears from spilling over. "Okay."

Neteyam knelt in front of me. "I owe you an apology, Y/N. I can't... I can't believe how careless I was with my words, and I can't believe I didn't realize how much I'd hurt you until today. I've been wondering why you've been distant but, I didn't even think..." He shook his head, and reached under the water, grabbing my hands. "I should have thought before I spoke. Y/N, I don't think you cling to me... well, you do, but it's something that I like. These past few days without you have been the worst of my life. I'd rather be tortured. I was in a bad mood, and it wasn't your fault, but I took it out on you. I know I destroyed the trust we worked so hard together to build up. I'm willing to do all that work again, to show you how much I love you."

I had failed - the tears had spilled over, but they weren't born of sadness. I leaned forward and got up onto my knees, so that I was more level with Neteyam, and pressed my head into his chest.

Without hesitation, he wrapped his arms around me, pulling me close to him, creating a ripple of waves around us.

The relief I felt was overwhelming. Going from being so sure I was going to lose the best thing in my life to even more sure I was going to get to keep it, it was like whiplash.

I cried and Neteyam held me tightly while I did, whispering reassurances in my ear all the while.

Eventually, we stood up and got out of the water, and Neteyam helped me get dressed.

"Neteyam," I said as he fastened my beaded necklace, "I forgive you. And I'm sorry, too. I should have told you what was bothering me, but I was so scared that you had changed your mind, I was just, um, avoiding you so you couldn't break up with me."

Neteyam shook his head violently. "Bah! Never." He took my face gently into his hands, bringing it closely to his. "You are to be my mate, Y/N. I will never leave you. You can always trust me, and you can always tell me when I've hurt you. Apparently, I'm too dumb to figure it out alone."

I smiled. "Kiri had to tell you?"

He laughed. "She did."

He kissed me then, holding me tight. It seemed we both owed Kiri a thank you. I knew it wasn't the first time she had talked sense into one of her brothers, nor would it be the last.

[strangernstranger]

Secrets

Eddie x Fem Reader request

Summary: Could Eddie’s good intentions really be the downfall of you both? Tempers rise when reader suspects Eddie has been keeping their relationship a secret as a means to sneak around with Chrissy Cunningham as well.

Inbox is open for requests! ———

“What are you doing?” Eddie crept to the doorway, hearing the sounds of dresser drawers slam.

“What does it look like I’m doing? I’m packing my shit.” You didn’t spare him a glance, you just continued stuffing your belongings into a bag. Eddie shuffled towards you in utter confusion. He had just made it back from practicing with his band to find you in his room like this.

“HEY hey, why are you- what’s wrong, sweetheart?” Eddie’s brows pinched together with concern. “Talk to me. Please?” He gently placed his hand on your shoulder. You tore away from his touch as if it could burn you. Eddie’s face further contorted into a pained expression realizing he was somehow at the core of this. He hadn’t seen you since yesterday. What could’ve changed over night?

“I’m tired, Eddie. I tired of sneaking around because YOU don’t want us to be seen together.”

“Y/N, I’ve already explained it to you. If you risk letting people know we’re together, you risk everything. You-Your reputation…” He stammered, hoping you would finally just accept that this is the way things needed to be. He hated the thought of you receiving the same treatment he endured on a daily basis. Eddie’s skin had grown thick over the years but he worried how the scrutiny of others would affect you.

“Who fucking cares about a reputation!? Do you really think that shit matters to me? What matters to me is you. But you seem perfectly fine keeping me in the dark. A dirty little secret you hide in your bed every other night.”

“NO. It’s not like that!” He couldn’t believe you’d actually think that.

“Is it like that with Chrissy?” You stopped dead in your tracks, looking at Eddie for the first time since all this started. Your eyes burning holes through the man you once considered yours. You wanted to see the look on his face when you said her name.

“What the hell are you even talking about?”

“Chrissy Cunningham. I saw you two yesterday. You snuck out into the woods and she followed.”

“That must mean I’m fucking her then, right?” Eddie scoffed. “It was a drug deal y/n! She’s clientele.”

“Yea? Do you typically bring clients home with you?” You crossed your arms over your chest to conceal your shaking hands. Eddie’s doe eyes startled as if caught in the lights of an oncoming truck. The realization of how that must’ve came across settled in with the sinking feeling that he was moments away from disaster. “You opened the door and let her right in.” You sneered a smile, watching Eddie grip his hair at the roots. You thought you’d surprise him after his meeting with the Hellfire club. You never thought you’d pull up to see him bringing another girl home. You were disgusted. Eddie sat down on the mattress, racking his brain on how to explain himself, already feeling overwhelmed.

“Y/N…it wasn’t like that. You gotta believe me.” He punctuated the word as if it would drive the point home but you weren’t having any of it. There would be no convincing you. You saw if for yourself. “She was only here for-“

“It’s never what it looks like, is it, Eddie?” You cut him off saving his breath and your own time.

“Y/N PLEASE-“

“NO! Do you really think I’m so naive that I’d take any ol’ excuse? That you can just say I’m wrong and I’ll fall happily into your arms?”

“Will you just shut up and let me explain!?” Eddie shouted, clearly distressed. His legs bounced anxiously. His hands shook in his lap. You were irate. Heat flushed behind your cheeks. It was as if a switch flipped in your brain and you could barely contain your resentment anymore. You thought Eddie was someone you could trust. In fact, you were actually falling for him. It hurt you that he wanted to keep things secret. Still, you were willing to accept that if it meant you could have him. But the thought of him sneaking around with Chrissy Cunningham, the perky cheerleader, Hawkins High’s sweetheart, it broke you in ways you couldn’t imagine possible. Another girl. Another secret.

“Fucking cheat! LIAR!” You began tossing your clothes at him harshly, one by one. Eddie jerked his hands up to block the projectiles. He was growing angrier by the second. Angrier with every harsh word you spit at him. His breaking point was rapidly approaching. “You’re a condescending, lying, prick, Eddie Munson!”

“Yea? And you’re a jealous, fucking bitch!” He finally snapped, rising to his feet. “You wanna say hurtful shit? We can do that. You are so goddamn insecure, it’s pathetic. I didn’t fuck Chrissy. I don’t WANT to fuck Chrissy. I was selling her drugs! That’s IT!” His face was red. The veins in his neck prominent from the strain of yelling. “Can you get that through that little head of yours and cut the know it all bullshit already!?” You stood there dumbfounded. Eddie had never raised his voice to you. Your eyes began to sting with tears.

“Karma is gonna bite you in the ass, Eddie. And I hope to God I’m there when it happens.” You managed to choke out. The lump in your throat grew with each passing second.

“Do you really think that little of me?” Eddie’s voice wavered, pained by your distrust. “You really think I’d spend every second with you I could, introduce you to my friends, give you a key to my house if I was just using you? Jesus fucking Christ, Y/N!”

Your body vibrated, tears you tried so desperately to stave off finally breaking free. You wanted to believe in him, but you saw it with your own eyes. Could you really have misread things so gravely or was it all a lie? You couldn’t answer him.

“If that’s really how you feel, then GO! HERE, I’ll help you pack!” Eddie grabbed the remainder of your clothes and furious stuffed them into your bag before tossing it to the floor. “Just get the fuck out of my house.” He turned his back to you, running his hands through his hair. His vision blurring with unshed tears he didn’t want you to see. You choked back your sobs as you picked up the bag. You spoke no goodbye. You couldn’t even if you wanted to.

———

You cried the entire drive home, catching glances of your glossy, bloodshot eyes in the rear view. The possibility that you were wrong dug deeper and deeper with every mile that passed. The further from Eddie you drove, the harder his words hit. They played on a loop in your head. You weren’t sure who fucked it all up, you or Eddie but there was no saving it now. No taking back what was said.

Meanwhile Eddie sat in silence, fully taking in your absence. Empty hangers in his closet where your clothes used to be. A vacant space on his nightstand where you used to keep your books. The ones he’d beg you to read to him as he was falling asleep. How could you think he would touch another girl? You were all he ever wanted. The more he thought on it, the worse he felt. You thought he was ashamed of you when truthfully, you were the best thing about his life. He was only trying to protect you. Keeping things a secret was meant to shield you from the cruelty of others. But then he turned around and hurt you worse than anyone else could manage. What you needed was reassurance. Instead he berated and belittled you for being genuinely hurt. He dropped his head into his hands, holding back tears. He had to find a way to fix this but he was sure you wouldn’t talk to him again. Not after what he said. He thought on it all night. Time was abundant since sleep was scarce. Every time he’d close his eyes to rest, he’d see your face. Eyes red. Broken. Betrayed. You two needed to talk about it, but that would take some convincing of course…

———

You dragged yourself out of bed. You combed your hair and brushed your teeth like you always did. You followed the same monotonous routine you followed every morning before school. But things felt heavier than usual. There was a weight on your shoulders, waiting for the perfect moment to break you. Still, you sucked it up and caught the bus. Staying home only meant you’d dwell on things.

Eddie’s chair was empty during first period which wasn’t entirely uncommon but given the events from the night before, you wondered why. Would seeing you break his heart or just piss him off? It was all for the better. Seeing him would collapse the collected veneer you were trying so desperately to uphold. You tried putting Eddie out of your mind to the best of your ability and focusing on your assignments.

Back at Eddie’s, the numbers on the clock blinked red ‘10:07AM’

“SHIT! SHIIIIT!” He had overslept after finally drifting off around 4AM. He discarded his blankets in a flourish and launched himself off the bed, clumsily stepping into whatever jeans were closest to him. He rushed down the steps of his trailer, making a b-line for his van. He had to make a little stop before heading to the school…

He burst through the cafeteria doors, practically breathless. A few students jumped in surprise. Others rolled their eyes, assuming he was up to his usual antics.

“Y/N?” An unintentional shout. The room went silent. Eddie zeroed in on your almost immediately. Your heart beat quickened, eyes locked with his as he made his way to you. You hardly noticed that everyone else was staring as well, watching the scene unfurl. Your eyes drifted to the hand Eddie held behind his back, revealing a beautiful bouquet of flowers. “They’re uh- they’re for you.” Your eyes shined bright with disbelief, on the verge of tears. Words escaped you, so Eddie continued on. “I don’t really know what flowers are good, so I tried to get your favorite colors instead.” Eddie’s smile was nervous, but hopeful. He reached the bouquet out to you. You lightly touched petals colored in violet and magenta. He remembered?

“Th-thank you?” You couldn’t help but smile at the gesture although you were still taken aback by it all. This was Eddie’s first public display of affection which of course garnered an audience for the two of you. Your eyes darted around the room, hearing whispers from the other students. You glanced over to Chrissy, curiosity getting the better of you. There she sat with dreamy, bright eyes. As if she were watching a scene from a televised romance. She looked happy. Happy for you. Happy for Eddie. Not at all like a scorned lover or a burned out flame. Eddie took your hand in his.

“Can we please talk?” His doe eyes melted away at the animosity you felt just earlier.

“Looks like the Freak got himself a girlfriend.” Jason jeered from the jock’s table, laughs following.

“Maybe somewhere a little more private?” Eddie sighed, not even phased by the attention. It was new to you but already insignificant.

———

You followed Eddie out to the football field. The spring air was cool but the sun provided just enough warmth. You sat together on the bleachers. You stared at your shoes while Eddie fumbled with his rings.

“I’m sorry I yelled at you.” He grumbled. He dipped his head low enough that his hair concealed his face. “I just couldn’t believe you’d actually think I would even look at someone else the way I look at you. I promise you, y/n, I swear on my life, we were just making a deal. She asked for something stronger while we were in the woods. I-I didn’t have it, it was back at my place. She caught a ride with me, I gave her the stuff and I drove her back home. That’s all it was.”

“I believe you, Eddie. I’m sorry I freaked out. I feel like such an asshole now.” A tear slipped down your cheek, embarrassed by your behavior from the night before. Eddie lifted his hand to wipe it away.

“Hey, no more crying, okay? Everything is fine now. I don’t blame you for getting mad. I would’ve lost my shit if I saw you bringing another guy home.” You placed your hand on his knee. “Why didn’t you just tell me about the deal before hand?” Eddie huffed realizing that would've saved you both a lot of hurt.

“Um, because I’m an idiot? Selling drugs is a quick way to earn cash but it’s not really something I’m proud of, Y’know? I just thought it would be better if I kept you out of that portion of my life. It felt like I was doing the right thing at the time…but like I said…idiot.” He breathed a laugh, admiring your small upturned smile.

“Eddie? No more secrets. If I didn’t think I could handle it I would’ve left a long time ago. You gotta stop acting like I need to be sheltered from you. From your life. I want this, okay? I want you.” Eddie placed his hand over yours giving it a tight squeeze.

“No more secrets, promise.” He looped his pinky with yours. A subtle gesture the two of you often shared. “I’ll tell you everything. Y/n, I was never ashamed of you. Not for a second. The day you kissed me before that pep rally? I had to stop myself from running across the court and yanking that microphone out of Jason’s hands to tell everyone about it.” You laughed at the thought. “I mean it! No one else makes me as stupid as you do.” Eddie snaked his arm around your waist and moved in close, relieved you would allow him to hold you in his arms again. “But no more hiding. Tell me the time and place, I’ll be there to kiss you breathless.” He buried his face into your neck, smiling against your skin in between kisses. You pushed against his chest, laughing at the sensation. “There’s no one else for me, sweetheart. It’s you and only you.”

[thedensworld]

Found You | Choi Seungcheol

Pairing: Husband!Seungcheol x Wife!reader (ft. Jeonghan and Mingyu)

Genre: Angst, Mystery, Alter Ego, Established Relationship

Summary: His wife suddenly goes missing. There are only two options, she left him or his bestfriend has been hid her from him.

Author Note: This was a series i posted but i decided to revised them and post it as a oneshot. Enjoy!

Day 1

"Do you know where my wife is?"

Jeonghan was taken aback by Seungcheol's question. He had been immersed in preparing for an upcoming meeting with directors when Seungcheol stormed into his office, his face flushed and breath labored.

"Take a deep breath, Cheol," Jeonghan advised calmly, gesturing for Seungcheol to take a seat. "Now, tell me, what's wrong?" he inquired after they were both settled.

Choi Seungcheol's agitation contrasted sharply with his friend's composed demeanor. Suddenly hit by a wave of dizziness, he recounted how he woke up that morning to discover your absence. His priority had been his son, Dowon, as he juggled parenting and work. It was only then he realized that you, his wife, were nowhere to be found.

Yoon Jeonghan, a friend introduced to him through you, was someone he trusted unequivocally. Jeonghan had been his lifeline when he had been let go by his previous company, connecting him to his present job. Jeonghan was, in a sense, the reason he had become a manager today, a fact he himself had acknowledged. Yet, as of late, Seungcheol had noticed a series of peculiar incidents.

First, Jeonghan's coat was in your home. As far as he could remember, Jeonghan's last visit had been during Dowon's third birthday celebration, nearly half a year ago. You hadn't mentioned any recent visits by Jeonghan, so Seungcheol was taken aback when he spotted his familiar coat hanging in your closet.

Second, in an offhand comment, Jeonghan had let slip that he had helped you fix your car. While you had mentioned your car's recent troubles, you hadn't said anything about asking Jeonghan for assistance. This revelation came after a phone call you'd made to Seungcheol, asking him to pick up Dowon from daycare since your car had given out. In response, Seungcheol, being the attentive husband and father he was, had dropped everything to respond to your call for help. He had said, "I'll pick up Dowon and come to where you are." However, he distinctly recalled hearing Jeonghan mumble, "Good, she didn't ask me this time!"

Third, just two days prior, he had learned from Dowon that he had gone to the arcade with you and "Uncle Jeonghan" while Seungcheol had been on a business trip. That revelation had struck him deeply. He saw you and Jeonghan every day. Jeonghan had the habit of visiting his office, checking in on him, and then leaving daily. How could he have missed these visits?

So, when you, his wife, suddenly went missing, wasn't it natural for him to approach Jeonghan for answers? After all, he was your best friend, and surely he would know something.

"I'm not following, Cheol. What do you mean?" Jeonghan asked, confusion evident in his expression.

Seungcheol exhaled deeply, a sigh heavy with worry. He realized that his decision to confront Jeonghan had been hasty. His doubts regarding you had been rash. He stood up, preparing to leave Jeonghan's office, but Jeonghan caught his wrist.

"Is y/n somewhere else? Are you two fighting?" Jeonghan inquired.

Seungcheol shook his head. "She's missing, but we're not fighting."

Jeonghan's shock mirrored Seungcheol's distress. "When was the last time you saw her?" he inquired.

"Last night, after dinner," Seungcheol replied. The memory of your shared meal, playing with Dowon, and washing dishes together flooded his mind. It had been a rare moment of connection between the two of you, devoid of any arguments—just quality time and conversations accompanied by a bottle of wine.

"Is she at work?" Jeonghan ventured, attempting to inject a note of optimism. But Seungcheol had already contacted your workplace, learning that everyone was looking for you.

"Let me know if you hear anything about her."

Day 2

Seungcheol stirred awake, realizing he had gone to bed in his work suit. Glancing at the nightstand clock that read 7 in the morning, he hurriedly prepared himself and his son for the day. He couldn't recall when he had last moved so quickly through his own home. Rushing, almost running, he prepared breakfast for himself and Dowon.

"Where's Mom? She wasn't here yesterday," his three-year-old son inquired. Seungcheol met his son's gaze, searching for answers in his innocent curiosity.

"Is she on a business trip? Usually, it's you, Dad. Why is everyone going on business trips? Can I go on one too?" Dowon's questions were met with a weak smile and a nod from Seungcheol.

"You can when you're older. Finish up quickly," Seungcheol instructed before attending to his own breakfast. He heard his son muttering something about his food—possibly a critique of the taste. In comparison to you, he was nothing in the kitchen. You had effectively been the family chef during your dating days, impressing him and his friends with your culinary skills.

He was determined to find you.

Day 3

It had been 48 agonizing hours since your disappearance. Seungcheol had transformed into a possessive husband, frantically calling all your friends to inquire if you were with them. But his efforts yielded nothing. He even reached out to your parents, although he couched his questions with subtlety. Using phrases like, 'Is she already there? We're planning to leave Dowon with his grandparents while she and I go on a business trip,' he uncovered that you weren't with them either.

After dropping Dowon off at your parents' home, an act for which he profusely apologized, Seungcheol went to work and submitted a vacation leave. He knew he wouldn't be able to focus on locating you while juggling his professional responsibilities. This would be his first vacation since the one he took when Dowon was born—almost three and a half years ago.

"Need some company?" Jeonghan asked while Seungcheol was in his office, preparing to report your disappearance to the police. Seungcheol debated internally. He needed support; these past three days had been a living hell. Having someone to lean on was crucial for maintaining his sanity. Yet, Jeonghan's role in all this was still a lingering doubt.

A nagging voice in his mind whispered that Jeonghan might be concealing your whereabouts, that you might have reached out to him. Another voice planted the insidious idea that you could be having an affair with Jeonghan. Seungcheol despised entertaining that notion. He had faith in both you and Jeonghan. You had been friends long before you'd started dating and eventually got married. The thought of you and Jeonghan being involved romantically was preposterous. But the unsettling signs were hard to ignore. Lately, you'd been evasive around him, not confiding in him as you once had. You'd never mentioned your clandestine outings with Jeonghan.

If he were being honest with himself, he had sensed a shift in the way you looked at him. Previously, your gaze was warm and loving, but recently it had become tinged with fear, anxiety, and boredom. His insecurities surged, and even though he wanted to decline Jeonghan's offer, he knew he needed someone for his own sake. He eventually nodded at Jeonghan.

He had to keep himself together.

Day 4

Following his meeting with Officer Kim the day before, the official declaration of your disappearance was made. Seungcheol offered another round of apologies to your parents and entrusted Dowon to their care while he continued the search. He'd broken the news gently to them, knowing how his in-laws would react. Naturally, they were shocked, just as everyone was upon hearing the news. The outpouring of support he received was heartening.

Seungcheol had been engrossed in disassembling your possessions, hoping to uncover any clues. He knew you enjoyed writing and recalled seeing stacks of journals you refused to discard. Writing was your outlet, your way of expressing yourself without having to voice your emotions.

You'd even confessed your feelings to him through an email. It had happened when you were collaborating on an essay, exchanging emails. Two years into your friendship, you sent him a confession email before leaving for the US to pursue further studies. He still remembered the subject line, "It's always you."

He'd waited two years to ask you out in person. From the moment he'd read that email, he'd realized his fascination with you went beyond mere curiosity. You were intelligent, enigmatic, and adorable. What he once found cute had now taken on a different hue.

Questions about you swirled in his head. Where were you? Were you safe? Had you been hurt? Or worse, had he hurt you in some way that made you flee? The thought of being the cause of your disappearance weighed heavily on him. The idea that he might have inadvertently hurt you with his words, leading you to leave, felt like a punch to his gut. Others might consider it childish, but your feelings were vital to him.

"Any news from Officer Kim?" Jeonghan's voice echoed through the phone. Jeonghan had been a pillar of support, offering help since day one. On this day, work commitments prevented him from physically joining Seungcheol, but he still checked in regularly.

Shaking his head instinctively, as if Jeonghan could see him, Seungcheol replied, "No updates yet. Some of her friends have called me, but nothing substantial."

"How about her parents? Have you spoken to them?"

Seungcheol hummed in affirmation, his voice heavy. "They're as shocked as I am. But for now, all they can do is look after Dowon."

"Okay, I'll catch up with you later. I've got to run."

Before Jeonghan could end the call, Seungcheol's voice caught him. "I'm sorry. And thank you."

"She's my best friend, Cheol."

The call ended.

Day 5

Officer Kim's visit to your house was met with tense anticipation. He inspected the premises before sitting across from Seungcheol on the couch. He indicated that he needed some personal information about you.

"Is she involved in any criminal activities or gangs?" Officer Kim's query made Seungcheol shake his head weakly.

"Do you have a son?" Officer Kim continued, his questions probing. Seungcheol nodded. "Is there any condition your son has that could have led to her disappearance?" Officer Kim added, coughing slightly afterward.

Seungcheol offered Officer Kim a glass of water, which he accepted graciously. "No, our son is in good health, and they share a strong bond. I've never seen my wife express any negativity towards him, if that answers your question," Seungcheol responded.

"Thanks for your cooperation, Mr. Choi. But we need more of your belongings to gather additional evidence—such as your car's black box data, CCTV footage, and your wife's internet history," Officer Kim informed him, signaling a potential collaboration.

As they conversed, Officer Kim's phone suddenly rang. He swiftly excused himself to take the call. By an uncanny coincidence, Jeonghan's call came in at the same time.

"Have you seen the news?" Jeonghan's voice emanated from the other end. Before Seungcheol could fully comprehend the question, Officer Kim hurriedly returned to him with an urgent look on his face.

"We've found her" Officer Kim exclaimed, his words laced with excitement.

Surviving a week after your funeral felt like a miracle to Seungcheol. Your body had been found in a lake, in a distant location far removed from your town. The journey there took nearly three hours by car, making it improbable that you had traveled there alone without a vehicle.

Seungcheol's mind was plagued by questions, primarily centered around the question of "who." Who could have been with you? The idea of you taking your own life was too painful for him to accept. You were a radiant presence, an angelic figure in his life, and he refused to believe you would have ended your own life. The idea of someone else causing harm to you gnawed at him even more. The torment of these thoughts weighed heavily on him, but he staunchly resisted letting them take hold.

Jeonghan's constant suggestions of seeking psychiatric help had become more frequent. He understood that everyone was mourning, yet he couldn't deny that the magnitude of your absence weighed most heavily on your husband. Jeonghan recognized the profound role you had played in Seungcheol's life. From their university days onward, he had observed how you had transformed Seungcheol into a better version of himself.

"I'm sorry for your loss, Seungcheol. I miss her too. I know it's incredibly difficult for you to accept this reality. You've suffered losses with your parents in the past and now with y/n. But please, remember that Dowon needs you. He needs his father now more than ever."

After days of cajoling from Jeonghan and your parents, Seungcheol finally yielded, letting Dowon's innocent words and your memory melt his resistance. The dam of his emotions finally burst, and in front of his son, he released the pent-up anguish that had gripped him. Tears streamed down his face as he promised Dowon to get better and be strong for both of them. It marked a turning point, leading Seungcheol to take a seat in front of Dr. Boo, a psychiatrist and also a friend of Jeonghan's. With each passing session, the barriers to opening up grew less formidable.

"She held incredible importance in my life," Seungcheol admitted, his voice heavy with emotion, when Dr. Boo inquired, "Just how significant was she to you?"

"Unbelievably significant. She made me a better person."

"I lost my parents in a tragic accident, and I was the sole survivor."

"Life lost its color for me after that accident. But her presence brought back the vibrancy."

Dr. Boo arched an eyebrow. "Did you seek psychiatric help after the accident?"

Seungcheol nodded. "She encouraged me to. I was on medication for a while, but I stopped taking it about six months ago, around my son's birthday. I started feeling better."

A faint smile played across Dr. Boo's lips. "Your son must be an immense source of strength for you."

Seungcheol managed a small smile, Dr. Boo's words reminding him of the resilient force that was Dowon — a living testament to the love he shared with you.

He missed you more than words could express.

*

A month after your funeral, the official investigation commenced. The forensic analysis indicated signs of foul play. While Jeonghan was adamant about discontinuing the investigation to spare Seungcheol further pain, the urge to unearth the truth remained strong within Seungcheol. He met once again with Officer Kim, the man who had been assisting him since the beginning.

"I consider you my best friend now, Cheol. I'd rather not know more about her," Jeonghan stated as he prepared to leave Seungcheol's office.

"Why?" Seungcheol pressed, his curiosity piqued.

Jeonghan sighed, the weight of his words carrying a sense of vulnerability. "I can't bear the thought of hurting more. That's why. And you? Why are you allowing them to continue? Don't you think about Dowon? I doubt he'd ever want to know if his mother was murdered."

"Justice," Seungcheol replied firmly. "That's what I want to bring her."

Jeonghan took a deep breath, turning to walk away. Just as he reached the doorway, he uttered words that were barely audible, yet Seungcheol caught them.

"Justice won't bring her back, Seungcheol."

Peace, though elusive, seemed to be the elusive goal. For Seungcheol, Dowon, your parents — justice for your death offered the promise of a semblance of tranquility. Discovering the truth behind your demise, identifying the perpetrator, and bringing them to justice was a step toward peace for those left behind. As sleep continued to evade him, Seungcheol's nights were spent anxiously checking on Dowon, guarding him against any potential harm.

Jeonghan's lack of understanding frustrated Seungcheol. He failed to grasp the depth of his pain, having never experienced such loss himself. While everyone mourned, Seungcheol's sorrow was compounded by his previous losses. Losing his parents had imbued him with an overwhelming fear of losing those he loved.

The fear that your parents might take Dowon from him intensified his determination to fight for his son. This fear had been a driving force for him to seek psychiatric help, to prove his capability as a father. He recalled how he had been fearful of losing you to Jeonghan when you were alive. With his parents gone, the fear of loss became an ever-present companion, an unrelenting specter.

Yet, no one seemed to fully understand him.

*

"Oppa! Help me... Wake up! Wake up!"

For the first time since the accident, your presence found its way into Seungcheol's dream. While he could barely make out your form, your voice rang clear and strong, sending shivers down his spine. The experience must have been even more haunting for you. As the days progressed, Seungcheol found himself waking earlier and earlier. The tasks of preparing breakfast had become a routine mastered through time, and Dowon had also grown more self-reliant. Seungcheol felt a mixture of pride and heartache as he watched his son navigate his mornings, remembering the times you used to stand by his side, guiding him through his morning routine while Seungcheol crafted delicious breakfasts in the kitchen.

Over a month had passed, and the ache of your absence gnawed at him incessantly.

"Do you miss your mom?" Seungcheol inquired of Dowon.

Dowon nodded solemnly.

Jeonghan's words resonated in Seungcheol's ears. "But, Jeonghan uncle said mom is in a beautiful place now, where she won't feel any pain again." Dowon's innocent words held a depth that caught Seungcheol's attention.

"What do you mean, she won't feel pain? Was she in pain?" Seungcheol asked, his concern evident.

Dowon nodded in response, his voice low. He turned away from Seungcheol, placing a small hand over his back. "Mom had pain here," he whispered, indicating his arm, "and here. She used to cry at night because of it."

Dowon's revelation sent a torrent of thoughts swirling through Seungcheol's mind, thoughts that lingered even as he arrived at work. He recalled instances of seeing bruises on your arm, but he had never probed further.

Three months prior, he had noticed you wince when he playfully grabbed your left arm. His intention had been a joke, but your reaction had spurred his concern. He had motioned for you to leave Dowon to his own devices and had led you to the bedroom.

"What happened earlier?" Seungcheol inquired, his eyes intent on your face. He reached out to touch your arm, but you stepped back, evading his grasp.

Though you smiled, your gaze dropped to the ground, avoiding his eyes. "It's nothing, just a minor bruise."

Unsettled by your response, Seungcheol sighed. "Okay, let's call it a minor bruise. But can I see it?" A brief pause hung between you two before you shook your head, denying his request.

He sensed your discomfort and gathered you into his embrace. "You know I love you, right?" he whispered, his heart aching as he felt your sobs against his chest.

"It's okay, my love. I'm here," Seungcheol murmured, gently patting your back.

Finally, you had opened up, sharing the story of a challenging day at work and an elevator malfunction in the building. Forced to use the stairs, you had taken a tumble, leaving a painful bruise on your arm. Seungcheol had rolled up your sleeve to reveal a palm-sized, purplish mark on your skin.

"You fell down the stairs?" he inquired, seeking clarification.

You nodded, assuring him, "Yes, just a simple fall."

Seungcheol's eyes bore into you. "If anyone ever hurts you, promise me you'll tell me, alright?" His words held a note of protectiveness, a silent vow to shield you from harm's reach.

"I promise, oppa."

*

Seungcheol returned from his appointment with Dr. Boo, having been prescribed the same medication he had taken in the past for panic attacks. Since Dowon now lived with him, he recognized the importance of maintaining his emotional stability. After his son had fallen asleep, Seungcheol was preparing to wash up when a call from Officer Kim disrupted his routine.

"Good evening, Mr. Choi. I apologize for calling at this hour. But you had mentioned that your wife enjoyed writing in her diary, correct? Would it be possible for us to collect any of her written materials from you tomorrow?" Officer Kim's voice was apologetic yet determined.

Seungcheol replied, "Of course, I can drop them off at your office tomorrow morning if that works for you."

"That would be excellent. Thank you so much, Mr. Choi."

Ending the call, Seungcheol found himself appreciating Officer Kim's cheerful demeanor. He had been an invaluable source of assistance throughout the investigation, and Seungcheol made a mental note to express his gratitude at a later time. As he considered Officer Kim's character, Seungcheol recognized him as an outstanding police officer and an exceptional person.

Making his way to your shared office, Seungcheol confronted a collection of books containing your words, thoughts, and emotions spanning years. Sitting in front of them, he began to count. There were twenty journals in total, each labeled by month and year. Seungcheol chose the one marked "January-June," dated from three years earlier. In it, he found an entry that made him chuckle:

"Damn, I'm craving another PC Bang donkatsu." He continued reading, smiling at your candid thoughts.

"It's 2 a.m., and Cheol just took his medication, so he's fast asleep. I made him go get me donkatsu from the same PC Bang four hours ago. I bet if I asked him again, he'd do it. But how can I wake him up? He's so adorable when he's asleep. My pouty baby:("

Without realizing, two hours had flown by as Seungcheol immersed himself in your diary. He marveled at getting a glimpse into your thoughts and emotions from before you two were a couple. The diary entries revealed a side of you he had never fully understood. He yearned to ask you, to confront you: "Why is it so hard for you to share what you feel? To tell me what you think?"

Sighing, he admitted to himself that he never could.

Gathering your diaries, Seungcheol moved them to the kitchen counter, setting them down next to a box. As he arranged them, a small piece of photo card slipped from one of the journals. Turning it over, he saw the date "06/04" and the words "Happy birthday, my Aries Boy!" He flipped it to reveal a picture of a younger you with a familiar man. Examining the date once more, he realized it was from six years ago, before you two had met. He opened the diary to that year and discovered an array of photographs that had fallen from the pages.

"Anniversary of Two Aries!"

"Mingoo, my favorite boy<3"

"Taken by the amazing Mingyu:D"

"Y/n, Mingoo's favorite journalist."

"A silly picture of Kim Mingyu, Future Criminologist."

Seungcheol muttered, "It's Officer Kim." The pieces were falling into place; he was beginning to comprehend the connection you had with the police officer who was helping with the investigation. He knew you in ways he had never imagined.

"You knew that?" Seungcheol's disbelief was palpable.

Jeonghan simply nodded, his nonchalant demeanor contrasting with Seungcheol's shock. "Yes, I knew that."

The revelation felt like a sudden blow to Seungcheol's head. "How could you not tell me?"

Jeonghan rolled his eyes, offering an explanation. "What would be the point? Besides, it's all in the past, Seungcheol. Mingyu was y/n's ex, but that was nearly seven years ago, even before she met you."

The realization slowly sank in, though Seungcheol struggled to grasp how Jeonghan had concealed this information. Finally understanding why Officer Kim had been so invested in the case, Seungcheol couldn't help but feel a pang of jealousy. Mingyu had once held a place in your heart, and Officer Kim had been driven by his past feelings for you. A curse word echoed in Seungcheol's mind as the pieces fell into place.

"He left her. He left her to chase his dreams, and you know y/n, she's selfless. She let him go. She had been hurt before she met you, and you healed her. You have nothing to worry about."

Seungcheol let out a sigh. "I'm not worried about anything."

Jeonghan looked at him, a pause hanging in the air before he calmly stated, "Yes, you are."

Their eyes locked for a moment before Jeonghan announced his intention to return to his office room. It had been five years since Seungcheol had met Jeonghan through you, yet there was still so much he didn't know about him. Beyond his name, Yoon Jeonghan, and the fact that he had graduated from the same university as you and Seungcheol, majoring in Agricultural Economics and Business, Seungcheol was clueless. Personality-wise, he was on par with you in terms of emotional expression, but he was more vocal about his thoughts. Jeonghan's claim that you were selfless mirrored his own kindness, though it often led Seungcheol to wonder if Jeonghan's feelings for you extended beyond friendship, perhaps romantically.

His mind echoed with the words, "It's always you, I promise!" Seungcheol impulsively picked up his phone and messaged Jeonghan, "Let's meet for a drink tonight."

Jeonghan's response came quickly, "Already miss me, huh?"

Seungcheol facepalmed at the playful reply. "You can't drink, dude. You're undergoing treatment. How about we grab beef?"

*

The sizzling sound of meat on the stone grill stirred Seungcheol's appetite. He hadn't experienced much hunger lately, eating more out of routine than true desire. However, the sight of the pork belly that Jeonghan was expertly grilling was irresistibly tempting.

"Is Dowon with y/n's parents?" Seungcheol confirmed Jeonghan's assumption.

He nodded, explaining, "Her sister is leaving town this week, so Dowon wants to spend this last week with her."

Jeonghan deftly transferred a freshly cut piece of pork belly onto Seungcheol's plate. "I'm guessing you want to talk to me, but you're trying to be casual about it. Is it alright if I mention her a lot?" he asked, a hint of amusement in his voice.

Seungcheol chuckled, "You talk as if you've never mentioned her before." Both men acknowledged how their conversations had increasingly revolved around you in recent times.

Jeonghan chuckled in agreement, but then turned more serious. "I apologize if my words have ever hurt you. It's a defense mechanism. I can be insecure at times."

Seungcheol appreciated the honesty. He decided to share his own sentiments. "I also owe you an apology. I used to think you had feelings for her, that you liked her romantically. I trust my wife, and I trust you, bro. But sometimes, a guy's instincts get the best of him when it comes to his girl."

Jeonghan's gaze locked onto Seungcheol's. "Choi Seungcheol, do you realize how obsessed you are with her?"

Seungcheol stared back, taken aback by the bluntness of Jeonghan's statement. "I miss her like crazy," he admitted. "If that's what it means to be obsessed, then yes."

Just as the conversation deepened, Seungcheol's phone rang. The caller ID revealed it was your mother. He exchanged a look with Jeonghan before answering. Even amidst the chatter of the restaurant, Jeonghan could hear Dowon's voice whining through the phone—a trait he had inherited from you.

"Is everything okay?" Jeonghan asked.

Seungcheol chuckled. "Dowon doesn't want me to pick him up until his cousin leaves for Jeju. He wants to spend this last week with them."

Jeonghan handed Seungcheol a piece of pork belly he had just cut. "He's at the perfect age to have a sibling. Why did you guys hold off on having another child?"

Seungcheol explained, "It was me, actually. I didn't feel ready for another kid. I told her, and she understood."

As they savored the grilled meat, Jeonghan's tone shifted. "By the way, I'm going to be interviewed tomorrow. I wanted you to know my response before I share it with them."

Seungcheol's curiosity was piqued. "Go ahead."

"Y/n called me that night."

"And?"

Jeonghan's gaze bore into Seungcheol's. "She was drunk, and she was with someone."

*

"Are you ready for the interview?" Officer Kim, also known as Kim Mingyu, asked Jeonghan. Jeonghan nodded, and Mingyu signaled to the man seated next to him to begin recording and typing Jeonghan's testimony.

"Where were you when the accident happened?" Mingyu inquired, referring to the night you went missing.

"I was at home from 5 p.m. to 9 a.m. You can verify my alibi through the CCTV footage in my apartment," Jeonghan answered.

Mingyu nodded, moving on to the next question. "Had she contacted you before she went missing?"

"Yes, she called me three times at 2 a.m. I was sleeping when I answered the call."

Mingyu probed further, "Could you tell us the nature of those calls?"

Jeonghan paused, his expression showing hints of discomfort before he responded. "She sounded drunk and was crying."

Mingyu tried to reassure him, "She was probably just an emotional drunk."

Jeonghan's unease was palpable as he continued. "She was more than that. She was crying for help. She called me asking for help, but she was with someone. I assumed it was her husband."

And then, in a rare moment, Jeonghan broke down.

*

'It's only you. I promise! It's only you.'

Seungcheol couldn't discern if he was truly hearing your voice or if it was merely his mind playing tricks on him. Since that dream, your voice had become a constant echo in his head, growing louder and clearer, enough to bring tears to his eyes. He yearned to halt these encounters, yet your presence lingered persistently.

He wanted to believe it was you reaching out to him, but he knew it could also be a side effect of his medication, a continuation of the hallucinations and delusions he had experienced before. Sometimes he saw distorted images of you from the last time he saw you. Other times, it was just your voice, varying from crying to screaming. Although unnerving, he cherished these moments as fragments of you that he could still hold on to. He didn't want these encounters to stop, regardless of their authenticity or healthiness.

As Seungcheol pulled out his desk drawer to retrieve another pill, he considered that he would soon reunite with you. Placing the pills back and locking the desk, he held onto the hope that he would see you again.

*

Three days after Jeonghan's interrogation, it was Seungcheol's turn. This marked his third round of questioning in relation to the case. Your family members and some of your work friends had also been interviewed. Seungcheol's prayer was that these collective efforts would eventually lead to uncovering the truth and delivering justice for you.

"Are you prepared for your third interview?" Mingyu inquired.

"Yes," Seungcheol replied, his voice steady.

Mingyu broached a sensitive topic. "We've encountered difficulty investigating your car's black box. Both your car and your wife's were repaired both before and after the incident, is that correct?"

Seungcheol confirmed, "Yes."

Mingyu then revealed an image of a car seen near the location where your body was discovered. Seungcheol's eyes widened at the sight of his company car in the photo.

"Are you familiar with this car?" Mingyu inquired.

"It's my company car," Seungcheol admitted, his mind racing as he struggled to understand.

"We cross-referenced this car and discovered that a company vehicle with the same license plate as shown in the picture was assigned to you six months ago."

Seungcheol felt confusion clouding his thoughts. He had been driving a company car for six months? Glancing at the form, he saw his signature confirming the car's assignment.

"I don't recall doing this," Seungcheol admitted.

Mingyu presented another file, containing records of parking slot rental submissions, all signed by Seungcheol. The slots were set to expire in the coming six months.

"You purchased a year-long parking slot for this vehicle, and we also retrieved the car's black box data. Would you like to see it?"

Seungcheol began to protest, but before he could finish, Mingyu played a video captured by the car's black box.

'I don't do anything, I swear, oppa!'

'Help me! Help me!'

'Wake up, oppa! This is me! Wake up!'

Mingyu closed his eyes, reacting as he had the first time he viewed the footage—with disgust. The image of you being brutally beaten on the hood of the car, by your own husband, was something he struggled to erase from his mind.

Seungcheol's voice erupted in the room, the word "liar" echoing with intensity. His voice quaked, unable to watch the video once he realized it depicted himself.

Mingyu's tone remained steady as he concluded, "You can watch the rest of the video in court, Mr. Choi. You are under arrest for the murder of Lim Y/n. You have the right to remain silent and the right to legal representation."

*

"Do you know why she stopped writing her journal?" Mingyu inquired of Jeonghan. Jeonghan met Mingyu's gaze and replied, "She never stopped."

Mingyu's eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "Really? Then why did she only send you entries up until last year?" He mumbled to himself.

Jeonghan heard his muttering and responded, "I have the rest. She gave them to me. She wanted to ensure her husband wouldn't discover what happened this year."

"What did happen this year?" Mingyu's tone was curious, yet serious.

Jeonghan sighed, his expression heavy. "I'm not sure how believable this will sound, but she shared something unsettling with me. Y/n's husband, mentally, he's been suffering. He used to take his medications consistently, but he stopped taking them of his own accord about six months ago."

Mingyu leaned in, his interest piqued. "Why did he stop?"

Jeonghan confessed, "I can't fully grasp the reason, but she mentioned that he began experiencing hallucinations related to a past accident that killed his parents. He started believing that he was the one responsible for the accident, having tampered with the car's brake cable, and that he falsified his testimony, pretending to be in the car to survive."

Mingyu exhaled audibly, dropping his pen onto the table. "Damn it! How did you let her marry this guy? You always resented me, yet you let her marry someone unhinged?" His frustration was palpable as he lashed out at Jeonghan.

Jeonghan's voice wavered as he responded, guilt consuming him since the day you went missing. "I only found out a month before she disappeared. She told me about the abuse she was enduring. She asked me to accompany her... to the ob-gyn."

Jeonghan realized that he had sensed the truth all along. It was Seungcheol on the other end of the phone call that night. And he was even more shocked that Seungcheol had confronted him in the morning, inquiring about your whereabouts. When you'd mentioned Seungcheol's Shield Personality, Jeonghan had already envisioned this scene, where he would ultimately end you. But he was powerless, knowing that you didn't care, you'd return home, subject yourself to his abuse, convinced that he couldn't remember his actions during his other personality phase. Blinded by the love he would offer you again once he returned to his normal self, the person you loved.

"Sh-she was p-pregnant?" Stuttering, Jeonghan nodded, "She considered an abortion, but I persuaded her to approach her husband about having another child. But it was too late. Maybe that's what they argued about, or something else that pushed her to her limit. She couldn't restrain him. She couldn't prevent him and, tragically, she couldn't save herself."

Mingyu's voice was thick with the weight of the situation. "This is a twisted mess. We're all ensnared in this, Jeonghan."

*

"Life sentences are handed down to Choi Seungcheol for attempted murder of Lim Y/n, and to Choi Daekbyeo and Kim Jehwa."

"Isn't this the justice you were seeking, Seungcheol?" Jeonghan mumbled as he walked away from the courtroom, a complex blend of emotions clouding his expression.

'What if we stop taking these?'

'You won't be able to control yourself.'

*

"You would never be like your parents, trust me."

"How do you know?!"

"Because I know you, and witnessing your love for our son is enough for me to realize that you're different from them, oppa. You're an amazing dad."

Seungcheol's breath came out in labored bursts, his emotions intense. "When Dowon was born, I was filled with anxiety. What if I ended up like my father? What if I repeated his pattern of abuse every time I made a mistake? What if I became like my mother, who always expressed regret for having me as a son? Y/n, I wasn't prepared to be a father. You pushed me into it, and I still don't feel ready!"

"I'm pregnant!"

"I'm pregnant, and I'm so sorry. I'm sorry that you've had to endure all this turmoil due to your parents. I'm sorry that your emotions have been suppressed by this baggage. But I'm here, working on this with you, oppa. You have me! You might want to hit me, punch me, or scream at me, but I know you wouldn't do that to our child."

Seungcheol stood there, frozen, as you took a step back, creating a small distance between you. "I'm doing everything for you, as long as you fight for us," you whispered.

*

"Taking these might cause distortions. People may think it's just their imagination when, in reality, they're beginning to remember things because of what they've seen and done without the medication—things that were previously considered imaginary."

*

"That's not my child."

You looked at him, bewildered. "What do you mean?" Your voice wavered, lodged in your throat due to his statement.

"You're cheating on me, with Jeonghan."

You found yourself laughing in disbelief. You were well aware that your own actions were questionable. Your husband's infidelity was growing apparent, and you had no grounds to laugh at his suspicious thoughts. Yet, you couldn't fathom how he could think you were having an affair with Jeonghan, a man who'd been your close friend for a decade.

"I found his coat in your closet."

Your eyes widened as you realized where he'd drawn his conclusions from. "It's not—"

"Dowon mentioned that you went to the arcade with him. You must have enjoyed yourselves while I was away."

"Oppa, listen..."

"I saw the two of you visiting the ob-gyn."

***

"What?! Is that all?!"

Seungcheol barged into your shared room, brandishing a tablet that displayed the last page you'd written. You gave him a feeble smile and shrugged. He sighed dramatically, pulling his glasses off and placing them on your nightstand. Carefully, he climbed onto the bed, mindful of his movements so as not to disturb the monster of discomfort lurking within you.

"That's it? He's sentenced, and all Jeonghan has to say is, 'Isn't this the justice you wanted?' Come on! I want a scene of him as a prisoner, at least. Maybe show him getting bullied by other inmates and—"

You burst into laughter at your husband's words.

Seungcheol stared at you in disbelief. "I'm being serious here, babe. He deserves to be roughed up a bit by other prisoners." Your amusement seemed lost on him.

Your laughter was starting to make your stomach ache, and you suspected you weren't the only one amused by your husband's antics. Struggling to sit up, your big tummy made the process slow and cumbersome. Sensing your efforts, Seungcheol gently assisted you, making sure not to jostle you too much. You whispered your gratitude, overwhelmed by his tenderness. Looking at him, you mused, "I thought you hated the story," and reached for the tablet he held.

Seungcheol rolled his eyes, his annoyance palpable. "I said I hated you using our names as characters, not that I hated the story." His irritation was evident in his tone.

Giggling, you pinched his cheek, saying, "What do you think, love? As the first reader." You kept the tablet within your reach, the other hand still resting on your husband's cheek. He smiled at your affection and leaned his head toward your hand, letting it support his head.

"I love it. But I think some readers might not like the ending. I still think he deserves a scene where he gets bullied." His dissatisfaction with the narrative conclusion was clear.

"Babe, I created this for parenting purposes. Why include a bullying scene?" you countered, pressing a gentle kiss to his temple.

"But I can add an extra chapter, exclusively for my husband, if he gets me some spicy chicken nuggets." Hee groaned, collapsing onto the bed in mock protest.

"Didn't you just devour two packs of apple pie?" you inquired.

You nodded, a mischievous grin playing on your lips. "But spicy chicken nuggets make a great dessert too. Pretty please?" you pleaded, your adorable pout melting his resolve.

"Fine, I'll get them for you. And, speaking of which, I'm thinking about talking to the shop owner about investing there."

"Just get me those spicy chicken nuggets!" you huffed, tossing a pillow at him as he quickly dashed out of the bedroom.

"I'll buy you the entire shop, love!" he shouted from the hallway.

"You're such a goof," you mumbled, returning to the task of creating an additional chapter for your husband.

The End.

[talaok]

I LOVE LOVE YOUR visiting pedro on set with our daughter imagine 🥺🥺🥺 can u pls do more maybe our daughter visits set again and meet bella and they gang up against pedro? that'll be so cute 🥺🥺🙏🙏🙏

This (lovely) ask referred to this post if you're interested.

She had begged you for a whole week. A whole week of prayers and cries, because she "wanted to see daddy at work again"

And yes it was cute, and yes her father had done a really good job at teaching her how to make puppy eyes, but have you ever had to listen to tantrums on tantrums for five days uninterruptedly? 

Because trust me, the first word that'll come to mind won't be "cute" anymore.

So of course you gave up. 

And that's how you found yourself on set again.

Pedro's eyes sparked as he caught you sitting on his chair with your daughter on your legs.

He smiled and shook his head, murmuring something to someone next to him.

They looked up at him for a second before nodding with a smile.

"Daddy!" your daughter's excited voice made everyone turn to look at you.

You snorted to yourself, as Pedro and, who you now realized was his co-star, walked up to you.

"Hi there peach" your husband grinned as he took her in his arms.

She immidately hugged him as tight as she could, almost cutting his air supply, but Pedro could only chuckle.

"hi baby" she mouthed to you, knowing how possessive your daughter got when in his arms.

"hi" you smiled right back, before turning to this co-star.

"so you must be-"

"Who are you?" Your daughter interrupted you with a bitter thread to her tone

"Emma..." you scolded her "be nice"

"no, it's alright" they smiled "I'm Bella, I work with your dad"

Your daughter's gaze moved attentively between Bella and her dad.

"your name rhymes with mine" she stated after some time, making Bella grin,

"it does"

"Why do you work with daddy if he's old?"

Bella couldn't help but laugh, as Pedro feigned a shocked expression

"Trust me Emma, I ask myself that every day"

"hey!" 

"do you know..." Bella ignored Pedro as they bent down to murmur to her as if they were about to reveal a secret "he even has to lay down to help his back sometimes, it's unbelievable"

A giddy laugh left your daughter's mouth 

"One time we had to stop for half an hour because he couldn't move his back anymore"

"That happened at home too!" Emma giggled "he picked me up and Mom had to help him get me down again because he was stuck"

Bella snorted

"Ok I don't know if I like this combo" Pedro shot you an amused look

"Oh, I love it"

"Would you like a tour, Emma?"

Her mouth widened in excitement, and she turned to look at you and Pedro 

"Can I?"

Your husband looked at you for approval, and once you nodded, he turned to his daughter

"of course honey, just be careful," he said, putting her down

" I'm always careful"

"Sure you are, you little pest" Pedro chortled, ruffling some hair on her head "Now go, have fun" he urged, watching as the pair disappeared behind the set.

"I thought she was here to see me" he joked, sitting down beside you

"I think you might have some competition"

"Yeah" he laughed, "I think I might"

__ __ __

"Speaking of which, where are they? It's been half an hour"

"shit" your heartbeat quickened a little bit, as you immediately jumped off your chair.

"hey Mark!" Pedro shouted, waving at a crew member "Have you seen Emma and Bella anywhere?"

"uh yeah, I think they were going to the trailers last I saw them"

"Thanks" he yelled in response, already walking out of the room with you following right behind.

"I think we should check Bella's and then yours"

"right" he nodded, following orders.

He knocked at the door, but no reply could be heard, which made your anxiety rise even more.

"Bella, you in here?" 

Again, silence on the other end.

You looked at each other, a mutual understanding traveling between you.

Pedro opened the door, but everything looked dark.

He slowly took a step in, looking around

"Bell-"he was about to call, but two shadowy figures emerged from right behind an open door.

"boo!" they shouted in unison, making Pedro take a step back as his heart threatened to stop.

what the fuck?

And just then, two distinguished laughs reverberated through the trailer as the lights switched on.

That's where they were.

Who knows how long they'd been waiting for you.

"you..." Pedro's eyes widened as his brain finally started working again.

"It was us, daddy!" Emma giggled, immediately joined by Bella, and shortly after... by you.

"y-yeah" he took in a breath, his hand going to his poor heart "Yeah I gathered that"

"did you get scared?" your daughter asked, still smiling widely as she walked over to Pedro.

"Yeah peach" he shot you a look of pure, actual terror, making you chuckle "You scared your daddy almost to death"

[scar-crossedlvrs]

Imagine.. (smut)

Chris or anyone basically forcing leon to go get loose at a Club and then he end up getting a hot dance with reader... Leon decides to ask her number and they meet up pne or two times. From there on, maybe their friendship starts forming.

Please dont feel obliged to do it ofc!

Leon S Kennedy - Won't You Follow My Body Rhythm ?

I immediately thought of re2 / rookie!leon when i read this, so i hope you don’t mind being my first try at rookie!leon. please try to enjoy my 2nd public attempt at smut and my longest piece of writing as of late.

i 100% didn't listen to this song like half the time i was writing this so honorary title.

cw for: smut, f / afab!reader, alcohol consumption, oral ( f receiving ), public-ish?, leon's real awkward, s.t.a.r.s chris redfield

18+ minors do not interact. gentle reminder that all of my works sfw or not are intended for 18+ audiences.

The inbox is open for requests.

“Dude, just try and relax.”

Chris’s voice was muted by the sounds of the crowded club, despite his proximity.

“When you said we were going out for drinks, this isn’t what I expected.” Leon shouts over the music, raising his drink to his lips. “I thought we were going to the usual spot.”

There’s a laugh from the other man. “It won’t kill you to try something new every once in a while, rookie.” Chris claps a hand to the blonde’s shoulder. “Besides, this isn’t so bad. Pretty sure the girl at the bar’s been eyeing you since we walked in.”

“I doubt it.” Leon rolls his eyes, downing the rest of his drink. Despite his words, his eyes move to scan the direction Chris had indicated, unable to see much in the dim lighting. “I don’t see anyone even glancing in my direction.”

“Fine, don’t trust me.” Chris rolls his eyes in turn and shrugs. “I’m not sulking in the corner all night with you though. Jill should be here any minute, just try and do something fun while I’m gone.”

Before Leon could protest, the other man disappeared into the crowd with a casual wave.

He was going to need another drink.

At least one.

—

Elbows propped against the bar, you bring your drink to your lips as someone pulls out the stool next to you.

“I hope you don’t mind if I sit here?” His voice pulls you from your thoughts, and you glance over to him. “ It’s the only spot open.”

He had caught your attention earlier, your eyes glued to him since he had walked into the club. Up close, you had a better look at his handsome features, pretty blue eyes framed by a fringe of dirty blonde hair and a jawline you couldn’t help but want to run your fingers along. He’s shifting his weight from one foot to the other, eyes darting to look anywhere but directly at you.

Cute.

“Go ahead.” red painted lips curl upwards as you gesture to the seat. “I won’t bite you.”

A relieved smile blooms across his face and his shuffling stops as he slides into the seat, doing his best to catch the attention of the busy bartender so that he could order.

“First time here, no?” you break the quiet between you after his drink is placed in front of him, curious.

His brows raise as he sips at the overpriced old fashioned. “Is it that obvious?”

“Has been since you walked in the door.”

There’s a sudden look of realization at your words, and his face is suddenly tinged pink. You let out a stifled laugh at the reaction, only causing the blush to spread a little bit further down his neck.

“Don’t worry, you just need to relax a bit.” you reassure him with a smile.

“You’re not the first person to tell me that tonight.” he chuckles slightly, letting some of the tension in his shoulders drop. “Chris wouldn’t stop saying the same thing.”

“And he’s right. You should.” your eyes glimmer in the dim lights as you lean a little closer to him. “Lucky for you, I’ve got a few ideas to help you out.”

He’s flustered again, thanks to the mixture of your proximity and the suggestion in your tone. Sputtering into his drink, his eyes widening in shock. “I…” his voice trails off as he glances away from you once more.

“Oh, calm down.” you straighten back up with a laugh, easing some of the closeness between the two of you. “Just teasing a little.”

The words do little to lessen the blush on his face as he stares into his drink. “Right. I knew that.”

“Sure, I’ll believe you this time.”

He falls quiet for a moment, sipping on his drink as the flush ebbs from his face slowly. “The name’s Leon by the way. Leon Kennedy.”

His eyes finally find yours again as he speaks and you nod, offering both your name and your hand to him in turn. Leon hesitated for a moment, before taking your hand in his firm grasp. Your lips curl upwards, hand lingering in his as your eyes glitter mischievously.

“Well, Leon.” Your words are slow and deliberate. “I think I’ve got the perfect way for you to let loose a little bit. C’mon.”

You quickly down the rest of your drink with your free hand as your fingers tighten around his. Slipping off of your barstool, you tug at his hand. Confused, he reluctantly finished his own drink before following you as you led him towards the dance floor.

“Oh, no. No, no, nope.” Leon blurted out the moment he realized. “Not happening.”

“Yes it is, I promise it’ll be fun.” you stop somewhere in the mass of already dancing bodies, pulling him closer and guiding his hands to your waist.

“I can’t dance, I’ll just embarrass myself and you.”

“Nobody’s paying attention. It’s easy. Besides, I’ll do all the work. Just follow my rhythm okay?”

Despite his protests, Leon’s hands remained on your waist albeit rather stiff. Taking this as a good sign, you drape your arms over his shoulders and inch a little closer. “Just move with me and try to have a little fun. It’ll come to you.”

Hips move, and you ignore the fast pace of the pulsating music to instead ease him into the movements. It didn’t take very long for his tense shoulders to relax under your touch, the hands on your waist slipping lower to grip at your hips. Satisfied with this reaction, you pick up the tempo, matching that of whatever was blaring over the speakers. He has to take a moment to adjust but quickly corrects, tugging you closer to him.

Before long you’re pressed close to his body, his chest against your back as your hips grind into his. Fingers dig into your hips to keep you in place and you bring a hand to his neck, pulling his face a little closer as a smile blossoms across your lips.

“I told you it was easy.”

—

“Oh fuck.”

The words spill from your parted lips, back pressed against the car door uncomfortably as his tongue drew messy circles around your clit as fingers pressed into your thighs.

This was becoming a familiar sight, the two of you sprawled in the ever so slightly too small backseat of Leon’s beat up Jeep after one too many drinks. You had slipped him your number that night, before he could be swept away by his original companion. Since then, he had been calling at least weekly to meet up.

You never declined.

And it usually ended with your dress hiked up to your waist and his face buried between your thighs.

Who knew the awkward guy you met at the club, the one that swore he couldn’t dance, was a natural when it came to eating pussy?

“You look so pretty like this.” eager, icy eyes stare up at you as Leon pulls away from your dripping cunt for only a moment before diving back in with a soft groan. “ ‘n you taste so sweet.”

Manicured fingers weave their way into his hair as lewd mewls escape you. The tug on his scalp only acts to encourage him, lips closing around the bundle of nerves as he inches you closer to the edge.

“Fuck, Lee ‘so good.” breathless, you manage to whine “ ‘m gonna cum.”

He hums against your clit, his grip leaving one of your thighs in order to slip two of his fingers into your slick, clenching cunt only adding to the already overwhelming sensation of his tongue.

“You can do it, pretty. Jus’ let go.” he urges, fingers moving, curling to find just the right spot causing you to buck your hips upwards.

Fingers tighten against his scalp as you feel the tightly wound knot within you snap, vision blurred as your orgasm washes over you in waves. Teeth sink hard into your lower lip, barely able to hold back the stream of whiny swears that spilled from your lips as you came undone around his fingers.

Leon stayed buried in your pussy as you rode out your high, eagerly lapping at the mess you made until you released your grip on his hair. There’s a dorky smile plastered on his lips as he finally raises up, wiping the mess of slick and saliva from his face with an arm as he leans in to press his lips to yours.

“You know, one of these days I’m gonna have to take you out on a real date, right?”

[whatifyoulivelikethat]

touchin', m | jjk

pairing(s): jungkook x reader

summary: Jeon Jungkook has got ten minutes and a hard dick. So he says. You learn you can't trust everything he says though.

warnings: rated M (18+) for language; lovers that call themselves friends-with-benefits because JK is a fool; both parties are freaking annoying tbh; smut (fem reader, double lip piercing JK, heavy petting, standing doggy with clothes on, lots of neck making out, light nipple play, low-key forearm kink); fluff; non-idol!AU - JK is wearing the outfit from his 2023.06.29 Weverse live

--

“I have ten minutes and a hard dick.”

You rubbed your temples.

“Jungkook, why are you calling me?”

Breathless surprise, as if the man on the other side of the line didn’t realize how jarring it was to call someone announcing a time limit and a stiff rod. “I have–”

“I heard you,” you growled back, interrupting him sharply as you heard the knock on your front door. “I just can’t believe you. You’ve got plenty of people trying to get in your pants.” You unlocked the door and wretched it open. “Yes?” you blurted out impatiently.

What?

You weren’t expecting anyone decent at near midnight.

Big peepers stared back.

“But I don’t want anybody else in my pants,” Jeon Jungkook told your ear and your face.

You rolled your eyes and dropped your phone. “You look like an egg.”

He did. Black beanie jammed onto his head, his black-brown hair sticking out every which way underneath, even a dropped jaw to emulate that pointed side of said metaphorical egg. White Nike t-shirt two sizes too big for him. Loose black sweatpants. Cute monochrome black-and-white sneakers you would not be letting into your home.

He bit his lower lip, still clutching his smartphone. You noticed there was another piercing on his lip now.

“I thought… we were…”

You pulled him by the front of his shirt and yoinked him inside.

“Don’t just stand out there with your mouth agape,” you scolded gently, shutting the door. “I don’t want you talking about your hard dick to my neighbors. Take off your shoes.”

It was an awkward moment of bodies pressed together and hastily followed instruction. You had to pluck his phone from him and end the call because it seemed like Jungkook had decided his primary task was ogling you and your bare legs. A large, vintage band t-shirt was good enough pajamas for you. You bent down to shove his shoes against the wall and you were very sure Jungkook’s eyeballs were glued to your ass. All that was well and good, but what was thinking, calling you up about his hard di–

His lock screen flashed on when your thumb grazed against it.

You spotted one of your Instagram photos hiding behind the time stamp and his numerous notifications.

Huh.

You looked away.

“Take this,” you muttered, jamming his phone back into his open hand. “What are you doing out so late anyw–”

You cut yourself off once you realized how close Jungkook was.

In this entire space of your front entrance, he had picked centimeters away from your chest to be his standing spot, forcing you to look up at him and his big dark brown peepers. Seemed like he was eating well. He had a little more fullness to his cheeks tonight, although he still had his sharp jawline and that silver hardware gleaming on the right side of his lip. One hoop, one new stud.

“I… I, uh…”

You intended to deliver some firm comeback, but instead you relented under that gaze and pressed your thigh against his. Just to feel him. Not too much, but enough to have the contact and strike the friction between bodies.

“Um…” He was mumbling, struggling to think. “I have to go meet my parents at the train station. They said they picked up some stuff for me and that I should go get it.”

You frowned. “So… why are you here?”

A jolt as you realized he was closer and taking your hand, pulling it down, lower.

Lower.

“I can’t go like this…”

Pressing your hand to his crotch, his lips already on yours as you palmed his rock-hard erection through his pants.

Yeah, you can, and Jungkook could tell what you were thinking from your smirk against his kiss and the tease of your tongue. There was no reason to make this easy for him, no matter how easy he was. You smiled, avoiding too much pressure in the kiss, both to frustrate him and because you were uncertain about irritating the new piercing, but Jungkook chased you, sharpness in his inhale, following your steps deeper into your dark home.

The one light you had on was in your bedroom, but you might not make it at this rate.

Strong hands grabbing the back of your head, fingers spreading out over your scalp, pulling you closer, and you met his insistence with calm, tracing your tongue over his lips and flitting in and out. Saliva and softness, the backs of his hands roughly hitting the wall, crowding you with his larger frame as you snaked your hand up and down his length, the fingers of your other hand sliding up the hem of his shirt and hooking over the waistband of his sweatpants, tugging him to you.

He moaned into your mouth when your fingertips caressed taut skin.

“What am I gonna do with you?” you purred, teasing him, nicking at his lower lip. The heat of his body was radiating and addictive. Too many clothes for how aroused he was. “I thought you said we weren’t that serious, hm?”

His hands in your hair tightened. “I t-take it back…” he whimpered. “I told you… I don’t want anyone else…”

You touched him all over, massaging his balls and toying with his cock, smearing the pre-cum over your palm and his length, pressing your soft thigh against his hard one. Rolled your body against his, your hot breath on his chin, his moan smoke above your eyes, and now he could feel that you weren’t wearing a bra under your shirt.

He shivered in delight.

You chuckled.

“I think you would say anything to have my hand on your dick.”

Pressed your lips to his throat and kissed down, wrapping your hand around his length. His pants were falling down his legs. You felt one hand leave your head and then his pants shifted. Then his fist hit the wall, a thunderous boom amidst his shudders that you felt through tongue and teeth, careful not to leave marks.

“H… Harder…”

You snickered. “You’re going to see your parents. I can’t leave hickeys.”

He whined, but you ignored it, flicking his earrings and licking under his earlobe. Tingling kisses left behind in your wake. He smelled like his usual clean soap. The tips of his hair feathered against your temples as you kissed the space under his ear, delicately sucking on it.

That was enough.

Time crunch and all that shit.

You were about to slide down the wall, but Jungkook stopped you, grabbing your shoulder.

You looked up, cocking an eyebrow. Half-laughing inside because his beanie was barely on his head, his unruly hair spilling out. There were visible beads of sweat by his furrowed brow, but you bit your words back and focused on those lidded dark eyes and flushed pink lips gasping your name breathlessly.

“B-Bend over.”

It would have a sterner effect if he hadn’t stuttered.

The side of your lips curled up irresistibly. “Oh?”

He lifted his fist off the wall and the foil packet caught the light.

You smirked.

“You’re so fun, you know that?”

Jungkook grinned and smacked the condom into your cheek, dragging your face to his, wild black hair over his eyes as he kissed you, indenting your lip with his jewelry.

There was something extra slutty about being mostly dressed and fucking standing doggy against the wall. He pressed his palm on your lower back but you were already slipping further down the wall, your panties at your knees, ass up, and you heard him swear when the throbbing head pressed into your dripping heat.

“Fuck… me… are you a virgin or what? Fuck!”

He would know from personal experience that you most certainly were not. You neglected to remind him he hadn’t warmed you up himself. Instead, you hiked your shirt up more and tilted your head playfully. Added commentary to be extra insufferable. For fun, of course.

“You’re welcome.”

“I’m not…”

Your hand hit the wall. Both palms flat, lowering more and pushing back as he pushed in, the ache viciously filled with his girth, pleasure suddenly racing up your spine and devouring the equilibrium.

“I’m not, fuck, thanking you, a-ah…!”

He was the one with his hands gripping your hips but you were the one to start off the bruising pace, sucking a breath between teeth and shoving your ass into his crotch, amplifying the power of his thrust, warmth swirling in your core, satisfaction blooming in your exhale.

“Mmmm, Jungkook, yeah, fuck, just like that…”

Your fingers curling into fists, immediate fire in your veins, clenching around his hard length and enjoying every second. Power and lust and savage sweetness, feeling his fingers dig into your hips, hearing his breath hitch, his moan vibrating in his throat. You had to stifle a laugh as you realized that he was suffocating all his sounds so he could concentrate, hm, how interesting, but you let yourself fall into the pleasure, tipping your head back and sighing, the building wave of orgasm seeping out and spreading over your lower belly, pulsing around him.

You dropped your torso a little lower and heard Jungkook groan, gripping your ass harder.

“Hah… so good… fuck…”

His name falling from your lips, with desire and grace, not hiding the feeling but burning in the fervor, remembering his insincere face telling you a bold lie, we’re not that serious, and you recalled thinking, is he just saying that because he thinks I’m intimidating or what, but you let him think what he thought and want what he wanted, his nails clawing into your back, harder, regular plans becoming more irregular, breathing heavier, hotter, until he was constantly searching for you with those shining brown eyes of his, pulling you to his embrace and trying to lock down this escape artist with his lips.

Maybe it worked.

Who knows.

You pressed your fist into the wall and let out a hiss of hot breath, clenching your core and all around him, ah, chasing that brutal fullness, that declivous slick friction with every loud smack, the prickling crawling up your legs and ribcage, come on, give it to me, your low purr intoxicated by the carnal desire and Jungkook couldn’t say anything, probably clenching his jaw and burning up from the heat, closer, his pants turning into coarse gasps, choppy and erratic, faster, hotter, throbbing, there.

He didn’t have time to warn you.

You felt your inner walls pulse and flinch, squeezing hard, the rush injected into the tension and making you gasp, thrown off by the sudden shaking ecstasy, your hand slipping on the wall. Catching yourself mid-slide and feeling Jungkook jerk, freezing your hips in place as he came in intense jerks, straining against your tightness, your name in a silvery, fucked-out moan.

Damn.

Could get used to that.

Your hair was all over your face, making the dark room even darker. “Heh. Trying not to cum too fast, huh?”

“S… Shut up…”

He barely forced it out, his hands giving out and sliding up your stomach. Oof, he was warm, his chest radiating heat onto your back, and yet you smiled as you felt his fingertips rub against your hard nipples, sending shivers of pleasure through you in the afterglow. You pushed half of your hair back, amused at seeing his beanie somehow now on the floor. He lifted you up even though you didn’t ask, slipping out and shoving his sweaty face into the back of your neck.

“Hey,” you were about to protest, but he was squeezing your breasts and nipples, making you buck against him as he sighed into your skin.

“You smell so good, mmmm…” he was mumbling, ignoring your squirming.

You tried to reorient him even though he was the one trying to distract you. “Oi, aren’t you supposed to be going somewhere?”

“Wuh?”

You tried to unstick his hands from your chest but he pressed his forearms to your sides. Instantly, a tremor danced through your muscles, thundering, not allowing the arousal to subside. You sucked in a tight breath, feeling him clamp down on your waist with his arms. “What happened to ten minutes, I gotta go see my parents?”

“Oh… eh… it’s okay,” Jungkook hummed, kissing your neck through your hair. “I made that up anyway.”

Somehow, you had low-key guessed that, but there was no reason to let him get away with it. “I don’t like lying, you know,” you curtly reminded him.

“Sorry…”

He pushed your hair aside with his nose and plopped his head on your shoulder, hugging you tightly with his sweaty body. Your arms were hanging a bit limply in front of you, but that was because of his muscular embrace. It made you feel a bit like a caught kitty cat.

“Don’t do things like that,” you scolded, but he was shoving his nose in your jaw, warm breath and feathering kisses over the curve of your neck while massaging your breasts.

“Sorry… I just wanna be with you,” he murmured breathlessly. “You’re so cute.”

“I’m not cute,” you retorted, burning comfortably and uncomfortably from his touch and words, respectively.

“And pretty. And smart.” He was ignoring you even though he was the one making out with your ear. “I was afraid you would find me annoying…”

“You are freaking annoying,” you confirmed, placing your hands on the backs of his, but not pulling them away. “I told you to tell me when you were horny, not make shit up.”

You could practically hear his pout. “Well, I didn’t know I was until I was driving over here.”

“That doesn’t make any sense.”

He changed the subject. Classic. “Why do you have to wear clothes?”

“I can’t answer the door naked.”

“But it was me.”

“How would I know that?”

It was hard to describe the comfortable kind of exasperated he made you. A welcome, spontaneous, borderline ridiculous distraction. You somehow managed to get him to untangle himself from you and clean up, his clothes carelessly flung in random places, and you shook your head at him, you’re gonna have to pick those up later, but as soon as he had washed up, Jungkook was pushing you down on your bed, pressing your naked body to his and sighing softly, his hair a floofy mess.

“I didn’t say yes to you spending the night,” you said calmly as he kissed your collarbones, sparks lingering from the contact of his lips. You looked down. “Stop looking at me like that.”

Those round, shining eyes lit up in the semi-darkness of your bedroom.

“Like what?”

Pretending like he didn’t know, uh huh.

You shook your head and tangled one of your hands in his hair, nudging him up.

“Come here.”

He scooted up earnestly. You placed a fingertip on his lower lip as he neared, making him pause breathlessly.

“Is this new?”

You couldn’t miss the sparkling in his gaze as you mentioned it. “Y-Yeah…”

You raised your head and kissed it softly. “Should take good care of it as it heals, mmmm? So let’s just be rough down here…” you breathed, your other hand raking over his thigh, smiling as he flexed under your touch, moaning into your mouth, a sweet taste that you couldn’t stop craving, and yet you had to point it out one more time.

He had the audacity to pretend, after all.

“But we’re not that serious, right?”

Jungkook groaned and shoved his face into your neck as you laughed. “I take it back! Stop being mean…!”

There was just something about his impatient whine.

“Alright, alright…”

Bad decisions were made.

Like staying up until four in the morning fucking.

Ah, shit.

--

drabbles masterpost | masterpost

[thestrangestthing89]

It's not an apology, it's a clarification. He very directly says "you misconstrued what I said" a thing multiple people around here have been trying to say for months. He said this exact same thing in an Instagram post he made a few months ago but people lack the reading comprehension skills to follow something like that. So he said it in a TikTok video again only some people are still not understanding. And it's because they don't want to. (He has recently taken his Instagram post down, I'm guessing because he is getting relentlessly harassed.) The truth of the matter is that many people didn't take the time to understand basic facts about this situation (like what the word Zionism actually means) and the result was that a lot of misinformation spread because people were desperate to make sure their followers knew they were The Most Progressive and The Most Anti-Racist. They did not talk about this issue in a way that was culturally sensitive. They made assumptions about Noah based on anti-Semitic stereotypes and I don't even think they realize they are doing it because, again, they aren't well-informed. But every time someone twists the word Zionism to mean "pro-genocide" and makes the flying leap that anyone using that word is laughing at people dying they are falling into the stereotype that Jews are bloodthirsty. Anytime people say that any Jewish person has the wrong information in this situation and needs to education themselves about their own culture, they are believing that Jews can't be trusted. They did all of these things to Noah and they did it very easily because they are ignorant. These people essentially turned into an angry mob. I can't even count the amount of comments I saw that were basically "I hate Noah too!!! Wait, what did he do? Someone tell me!" They piled on because their peers were doing it and not because they had any clue what the problem was. It was the cool and trendy thing to do so they did it. And they deluded themselves into thinking they were saving Palestinians in the process when they actually didn't do shit for anyone. The only problem is that the people who did this didn't take the time to inform themselves before piling on. Noah didn't apologize to them because he doesn't have to. They owe him an apology though and I think the ones with larger followings are responsible for a lot of this and imo are lucky they didn't get sued for defamation. He didn't do any of the things they are accusing him. They decided for themselves what he thought and believed based on very little information and they have no right to do this to anyone. They seriously think Noah is responsible for single-handedly killing people. He's not in the military or a politician. He didn't even endorse anyone who did. This whole situation is the stupidest fucking thing in the world. They are more outraged over the bullshit they made up about him the actual political situation and it's because they don't actually care. They are using Palestinians as an excuse to say hateful things, but they aren't helping them at all. I don't think Gen Z-ers are realizing that everyone older than them is getting increasingly more concerned about the way they go about their political activism. It's a serious problem and this current political situation only highlighted problems with them that had been occurring for a while now. Relentlessly harassing any Jewish person online for not speaking exactly to your liking isn't activism. Threatening to kill people who disagree with you isn't activism. Trying to ruin someone's career because they didn't act like your parasocial bestie isn't activism. Spamming the comments of everyone's posts with Free Palestine isn't activism and it sure as hell isn't what spreading awareness looks like. That requires being well informed first. Not to mention learning how to have difficult conversations without screaming hysterically at people and shouting that they must be pro-genocide/racist/misogynist/homophobic every damn second just because they said something you didn't take the time to understand.

They need to learn to ask for a clarification before assuming the absolute worst about people. They do this to people in the fandom constantly and it's why no one decent posts here regularly anymore. They are ignorant, plain and simple. But they are so desperate for peer approval and for people to think they are the best activists ever that they don't realize how much damage they do when they behave this way.

The people still pissed at Noah were always going to be. They were always going to pick him apart because they are anti-Semitic and they made that very clear. All he is saying is that people need to understand that both Jews and Palestinians are human and stop taking sides. A thing that anyone with a shred of human decency has been saying for months. The people who haven't been saying this tend to be very young (teens and early 20s) and it's because they fell for a lot of unverified information on TikTok - something that is concerning a lot of people given that it is an election year in the US. All anyone had to do here was listen and they didn't. They are too busy trying to be morally superior to anyone to bother having an actual conversation. They still aren't listening. There was nothing wrong with what Noah said here either. But people are determined to believe that he was laughing at people dying when he wasn't. This literally never happened. They just heard a word they weren't familiar with a jumped to awful conclusions. It's not their place to educate anyone on anything. They are not qualified to do so. And I wish people were smarter about who they were reblogging and weren't so desperate to get more followers by jumping on the bandwagon. They cause so much drama in the fandom constantly by acting like this. This is just the latest example.

The people who think it's now suddenly ok to be violent and homophobic towards someone just because they perceived that person to do something they didn't like, were waiting for an opportunity. They wanted to be horrible and they think they got a reason. They didn't and there is never a reason to behave like this. But it did reveal just how many people in this fandom are horrible human beings. The people who weren't saying this directly were still agreeing with those people and were not better than them. It should have set alarm bells off in their heads that the only people who agreed with them were being vile. That should have been the first clue they were on the wrong side. I wish people learned to think for themselves better. They were clearly jumping on the bandwagon and didn't understand what was going on. And I stand by my comment from a few months ago, we would not be dealing with relentless drama in the fandom if the show had a higher rating. And I do think they need to focus more on their original adult audience again. Most of us do not feel comfortable posting regularly in this fandom when it got taken over by kids who don't understand any of the things they are upset about, but they are upset with everyone and everything constantly. No one came here to babysit.

[daceydeath]

Club 143

Pairing: 0T8 x Reader, Felix x Reader Word Count: 27.1K Genre: Work Romance, slow burn, Warnings: 18+, Minors DNI, swearing, male escorts, hosting, alcohol, Explicit Activities

This is my offering of thanks for the 2K of you that have followed me and also kept me going over the past 12 months you guys are amazing and I love the absolute shit out of you all xx

It had been a hard 18 months in every single way, your boyfriend has cheated on you, your job was a never ending cycle of not quite making it and all your friends were either getting married or having babies. Something had to go your way, so this new editorial opportunity had to be the start of it all turning around for you.

You swiped left again, the dating app that your best friend had downloaded for you was full to the brim with fuck boys, dip shits and douche bags none of which interested you long enough to even read the stupid little bio they had written. You had been alone long enough to know you didn't want to waste the little time and effort you could give to someone to be wasted on someone who wouldn't even be able to give you what you wanted let alone what you needed. You had complained to your best friends often enough that one had bought you a vibrator and the other had installed this stupid app telling you to just get back out there and meet people but you were struggling. You didn't want a cheap fuck in an alley behind a club or a guy who couldn't fight his way out of a wet paper bag let alone find your clitoris taking you home. You wanted to feel good, it wasn't neurosurgery it shouldn't be that hard to find. You had tried dating a few times since your break up with your ex but to begin with it was hard to trust a man again and then you realized you perhaps didn't want to fall straight back into a relationship until it was too late and you had given all the better options the flick.

Sighing you got back to work figuring that it would keep you busy you had been in the news media for a while now and although you weren't a fully qualified journalist, you had never bothered with university, you had made your way up the food chain and were currently working in the health, wellness and well being section of your company. You were sent to cover makeup launches, yoga classes, newest beauty surgical day spas and other garbage but this week you had been given a different assignment. As one of the only women in the team who didn't get embarrassed at the sight of anything too 'exciting' you were being sent to the latest host club for professional women. A week's worth of sitting around trying to not get too drunk while you watched professional, lonely and probably far too wealthy women get flirted with by attractive young men. It had made you a little nervous but you had looked into everything you had been given and you were hoping that it would go smoothly. 

Club 143 was in midtown just across the district border from the wealthiest areas of the city. The home of idols, celebrities and the business elite, it was incredibly well located to cater to their every need and whim. The man who you had spoken to over the phone had seemed quite casual, he had introduced himself as Bang Chan and said he was the owner and operator, he also seemed quite happy to have you come for the week to see how the premises operated and ran. You were going for the following day Wednesday to meet him and see what the club had to offer then you would meet with the various hosts and finally if you wished to he would grant you the full host experience free of charge in exchange for the editorial you would write. Your phone ringing broke you out of organizing what you would need to know for preparation.

"Good evening" you answered, slightly distracted as you saved your research on Mr Bang.

"Have I called at a bad time?" Chan's voice sounded slightly concerned.

"No not at all Mr Bang, I was just preparing for tomorrow" you chirped wanting to sound professional and interested despite being nervous.

"Good, good. I was thinking if it isn't too early we could start at about 11? It will just be me and the bar and waiting staff to begin with so don't feel you need to be dressed up. The boys wouldn't arrive until after 7 anyway so if you need to run home or to the office you have plenty of time" He explained to you gently.

"Oh excellent, that will hopefully give me time to interview you about the first half or so of the editorial on the beginnings and such" you nodded your head even though he couldn't see you.

"I'll see you tomorrow then" He said warmly, his voice having an effect of soothing you each time you heard it.

"See you tomorrow Mr Bang" you hung up feeling a little less worried but still unsure of how this assignment would go.

Arriving at 10:55 you stood looking at the fairly standard looking five story glass building, the only thing making it look slightly different from its surroundings was a total lack of signage except for a small black and sign with elegant gold script reading Club 143 next to the large front doors.

"Good morning Miss" a calm professional voice spoke, making you almost jump "You are here to meet with Mr Bang correct?". 

"Um yes, yes I am, I'm from the editorial team at JYP News" you smiled introducing yourself and following her inside.

"I'm just one of the wait staff Miss, Mr Bang asked us to keep an eye out for you and bring you to his office once you arrived" she explained leading you through the opulent looking bar with its high ceiling and huge chandelier to a door reading staff which she opened for you and gestured for you to enter and take a seat "He won't be long Miss" 

Nodding as she left you alone to wait you looked at the waiting area you had been led to, soft wingback armchairs in warm chocolate tones filled the space, gold accented furniture and a wooden floor seemed excessive for a staff area but you assumed you needed to present the lavish luxury everywhere just in case.

"Miss Kim?" His deep velvety voice asked, making your eyes snap to him "I'm Bang Chan, but please call me Chan" . His warm smile and adorable dimples were a stark contrast from his built physique and generally sexy appearance.

"Hello, if I am going to call you by your first name then please call me by mine" you swallowed hard shaking his hand as you greeted him.

"Good, I prefer to keep things as casual as possible, it can get too pretentious otherwise" He explained cheekily taking you into his office which was far more minimalist than the ostentatious club. "This is my office, we have seen the boys waiting room and you walked through the bar, would you like the tour first or to chat?"

"How about the tour first then we can start the start of the interview process" you smiled politely placing your bag on the floor beside his desk.

"Alright then" he clapped as you followed him back out to the bar to begin "This is the main bar this is where anyone can come to have a drink or enjoy themselves without interruptions, this bar isn't limited to women but we do anticipate that most of the clientele will be female due to the other services we provide"

"So this is not host related at all then just a regular bar?" you asked looking at the beautiful furnishings and row upon row of alcohol bottles that lined the mirrored walls behind the bar.

"Yes the first 2 levels are just a speakeasy come cocktail bar level 3 is where that changes although any available host will be down here in hopes of attracting clients" he waggled his eyebrows at you while he guided you to the large staircase which you climbed after he had offered his arm to you looking over the large cut out that had been made to house the gigantic chandelier.

"It does look beautiful" you murmur your fingers sliding against the fabric of the leather couches as you continue to the far end of the room towards the elevator that stood with its glimmering golden doors set against a black marble wall "Although very opulent".

"Opulence is not your taste then?" Chan queried interested in your opinion as the elevator doors opened and you stepped in together.

"Not to this level, I like a little bit of glitz every now and again but I'm more of a homebody" you felt your face heat up as you spoke not wanting to insult his business before you had even had a proper conversation with him.

"That's fair, I'm not into this lifestyle either, it is excessive" he chuckled. "But the women who are will pay for this experience without a second thought".

"Clever Chan, you know your target audience well" you tried not to smirk as you watched him stuff his hands into the pockets of his black chinos as you traveled up to the next floor through the mirrors all around you.

"This is level 3 and the first level of the host experience, women of all ages can come here and be doted on by male hosts who will drink with them, eat with them and basically fawn over them providing all the attention they desire" Chan continued to explain as your eyes roamed the deep red painted booths that could be hidden behind matching deep red velvet curtains. Before returning to the elevator to go up again into another room full of more private booths that were set further apart to elude more privacy.

"Level 4 is the next level of our host services, so the private bookings or most popular hosts will normally be here. They see people one on one for extended periods of time" Chan continued as you took in another over the top room only this time in deep emerald greens with gold accents.

"Ok so most popular? Does that mean the most requested? So the hosts on the lower level are more of a on demand and availability sort of set up?" You asked making a note in your phone to include the differences when you started writing.

"Yes, the ones that are requested the most or have customers wanting to request them on a regular basis. Yes they will be on this floor" he smiled as you took a few notes and asked things you weren't sure of.

"Is this the last level?" You asked, thinking back to when you had looked into the building as part of your research "I thought this was a five story building" you tilted your head to him.

"You are right there is one more level which I'll give you a tour of only one part since it needs to remain an enigma to out clients" he smirked like a cat who had gotten the cream as you stepped into the lift once again the last floor could only be accessed by key card as Chan swiped his allowing for the floor to be selected.

"Oh, is it really a secret then?" you sassed playfully as the lift climbed to the final floor, the lift opened revealing a single hallway that led to a set of 10 doors the entire hallway painted deep navy blue with only the golden door handles and numbers glinting like stars against the dark walls.

"This is level 5, the premium service, and the most expensive and exclusive part of Club 143" Chan grinned, leading you out of the elevator with his hand resting against your lower back "Pick a door any door and that will be the final part of the tour". You walked down the hallway and stopped before door three looking back at Chan with your eyebrow cocked"

"Door 3 please Chan" you smiled.

"Are you sure you won't get to see inside the others, this is the only one you will see?" He teased walking to the door and swiping his card and opening the handle slowly as you nodded up at him.

"Woah" you muttered as you stepped into what could be a million dollar penthouse, with a lounge area, large bedroom and as you wandered a giant bathroom with a several person bathtub and shower that could fit at least four people.

"Level 5 is the full host experience, you are wined and dined in the comfort of a luxury home and there are no rules except for the ones made between the host and the client" he explained further as you turned back to him, your eyes wide at his obvious implications.

"I'm sorry level 5 is a brothel?" you almost squeaked as Chan doubled over in laughter.

"We provide a full service, but it doesn't have to include sex" Chan continued to chuckle "Some of our hosts are escorts some are not, some of the women who come to this floor will only be here to avoid being recognized on the lower floors some will be willing to part with a lot of money for a night with one of my boys".

"Sorry, that came out quite rudely didn't it?" you apologized flustered "I just wasn't expecting hosts and escorts".

"It's fine" he shrugged, still trying to stop his laughter "Come back downstairs and we can chat about it all in my office and grab some lunch, I've told the kitchens that anything on the menu you order is on the house".

"You don't have to put up with me poking around all week and feed me" you retorted knowing how much this was potentially going to put him out of pocket.

"If you are here and you are working then I should feed you, it's the only way for you to have a fully immersive experience after all" he shrugged as you got out of the lift on the ground floor and followed him back to his office.

You had spoken with Chan about everything you could think of, why he started the club, where the idea had come from and how he selected the hosts you had moved into the waiting room that he had called the boys waiting room setting up your laptop and starting with the opening parts of your editorial as well as typing up your notes of all the things you would need for later a tasting plate of pasta that the chef had prepared for you sat mostly eaten beside the coffee you had asked one of the bar staff for. You felt strange being given anything you asked for so you had tried your hardest to only order a relatively inexpensive dish off the overly expensive menu so as not to appear greedy or that you were taking advantage of Chan's generous hospitality.

"Good afternoon beautiful" a soft pleasant voice interrupted your typing as you looked up slightly confused as two handsome men had walked into the waiting room.

"He means you sweetheart" the other smiled, his pretty smile and easy manner distracting from his hulkingly muscular frame.

"Hello" you answered quietly as Chan emerged from his office. 

"Minho, Changbin you're early and you have met our resident reporter I see" he rolled his eyes at them both.

"Resident reporter?" The taller one quirked his head furrowing his brows.

"Remember the editorial that is being written about our first week to help boost the popularity of the place Minho?" Chan sighed slightly exasperated.

"Oh yeah shit that's right" he smirked "Sorry" he turned to you again looking smug rather than sorry as you blinked again and went back to your article taking a sip of coffee.

"Get in the office will you we have stuff to talk about" Chan groaned as the other two plodded into the office after him and you took that as your cue to finish up and go home to change for the evening so that you at least looked the part of someone who should be in attendance at a fancy arsed party. You had borrowed a few dresses from a colleague that you had spoken to about the assignment, she had suggested you stick to darker and more modest dresses that would help you blend into the background so that you didn't draw unwanted attention. Needless to say the black square necked mid length dress made you feel like no one would notice you compared to the socialites that were expected to be in attendance.

When you returned to Club 143 the doorman ushered you straight in and you were met by a well dressed man who welcomed you and took you back to the waiting room you had been in for half of your day.

"Mr Bang, your guest has returned" he knocked and ushered you in leaving you quite surprised at the room now full of preposterously handsome men.

"Um hello, guests aren't meant to be back here sweetheart" One of them smiled his eyes friendly as he moved to take you into the still empty bar.

"There you are! you disappeared I wondered which one of the boys had stolen you away" Chan teased.

"Well I didn't think I would fit in that well in a work suit so sorry about that" you sassed straight back feeling distinctly more comfortable after floating around him for so long during the course of the day.

"Miss reporter you came back" one of the guys from earlier grinned.

"Reporter?" A very young looking man asked, his fine facial features making him look distinctly fox like.

"This is the reporter who will be doing the editorial on the club to, hopefully, increase our business. She's here for the whole week so be nice to her. She isn't a client so don't treat her like one" Chan announced.

"This is Minho and Changbin who you saw earlier today" he gestured to the two guys furthest away, "this is Han, Hyunjin, Seungmin and Felix". You followed Chan hand as he introduced each one, smiling until you met his eyes. He was so beautiful he almost took your breath away but you tore your eyes back to look at Chan as he introduced you to them.

"I figured tonight you can wander at will observing whatever interests you and then tomorrow you can talk to the guys about whatever you need for the article" he continued.

"Sure that sounds good, give me a chance to see the rest of the staff in action as well" you smiled politely hoping to seem professional.

"We do have more hosts obviously, but they are either getting changed or not here yet" he added, looking at you as you quirked your eyebrow at him.

"How many are there in total?" you tilted your head pulling your phone from your tiny purse to take more notes.

"There are thirty hosts in total and these seven are the ones I expect to be the... most popular ones" Chan smirked.

"Oh the host for upstairs, the hosts that are actually escorts but you're calling them hosts, those hosts? Right" you rolled your eyes sounding sarcastic as you entered a few short notes looking back up at him to see a shit eating grin on his face.

"You catch on quick" he winked.

"You are an impossible flirt Mr Bang" you pursed your lips to cover your chuckle.

"Hey what did I say about the Mr Bang thing?" he almost yelped.

"Not to use it" you met his eyes cheekily "So naturally that will be what I call you". 

Your eyes flicked back across the others, taking in the amused expressions before you put on your best professional face and turned back to the door, opening it and walking though to cut off whatever comeback he was preparing for you.

"If you need me Mr Bang I'll be at the bar, need to review your bar staff too you know" you called as you walked towards the large bar where three barmen were waiting.

Once the music started and the doors opened to the many beautiful and well dressed women who wanted to see what a building full of ridiculously handsome men could offer them. You watched as each of the impeccably dressed hosts were either assigned or accosted by the women filling the bar you watched on seeing socialites you recognized, CEO’'s and directors of well known businesses and politicians wives all ogling the men you had met earlier and the many that you hadn't as they flitted through the crowd with ease. Chan was busy entertaining a group of women who all had glasses of champagne in their hands, Minho seemed to be captivating his audience of four young women who had bee lined for him and an a tall man you hadn't met was keeping another group of women enthralled by some story he was weaving for them.

"All alone tonight Miss R?" A sexily deep voice asked from you left making you jump slightly as you turned to face him as he slipped the stem of a glass of champagne between your fingers.

"Oh no I'm just observing tonight" you answered slightly flustered by how smooth his actions had been until you actually looked at him, tall, blond and handsome in an expensive tailored looking suit.

"I'm Felix" he smiled dazzlingly, taking in what must have been a slightly shocked expression on your face "We met before but there were a lot of names for you to remember".

"Yes, yes we did" you smiled back feeling helpless to do anything else as his golden flecked brown eyes skimmed over your face "How is the night going so far for you?".

"I would say excellent but then I saw you alone and I thought you might want a little company for just a little while" His voice was like honey and you instantly realized that this must be why Chan knew he would be so popular with his clientele.

"That would be lovely Felix, but aren't you meant to be working?" you sipped the champagne to cover the flush that was creeping up your neck as he moved a few strands of your hair behind your eyes.

"I am working" he teased "I am working on giving you a good view of how this works although this is more enjoyable to me than politicians wives or silly socialites".

"I can't tell if you are actually telling me the truth or that you are a professional when it comes to flirting" you admitted almost too quietly to hear over the music and noise.

"Truth not flirting" he smiled crookedly "Flirting is hardly going to work on you since you know what happens here".

"Well thank you for the honesty" you conceded while taking another sip of the wine.

"It's not entirely selfless but it thought I could show you around a bit let you see how upstairs is looking" he suggested offering you his arm like a gentleman "after all showing you around does give me at least something enjoyable to do that also gets me away from some of the women old enough to be my mother" he joked.

"I would really like that, it seems less like spying if I am next to you" you grinned taking the offered arm before Felix escorted you to the elevator, you noticed the looks some of the women threw at you and started to fell a little self conscious of the sheer lack of wealth and importance you looked as you passed them.

"Ignore them" Felix whispered, placing his other hand on top of the one you were holding his arm with. "They are just jealous of how beautiful you look tonight compared to them".

"I agree that they are jealous but it's not for how I look it's because I'm with you Felix" you whispered back making him smile genuinely at you. "So level 3 then?"

"We can start there and see where it takes us" Felix smirked naughtily as though he was intentionally breaking a rule, gently guiding you into the elevator along with another host you hadn't seen before who had a giggly young woman clutching his arm Felix tiled his body to hide you from the other woman his warm chest brushing against your arm.

Stepping from the lift the hosted area looked almost as full as the bar downstairs, each of the booths were either occupied or had velvet ropes preventing the area being used until a host was available to fill it. Felix took your hand from his arm and instead guided you with his arm delicately draped around your waist, your skin heating up where he made contact with your dress. He helped you onto one of the bar stools slipping onto his own beside you and catching the attention of one of the bartenders.

"What is your drink of choice?" he asked casually, still looking toward the bartender.

"Oh I'm working, I shouldn't be drinking" you replied softly.

"Well how about a non alcoholic drink?" he shot you a seductive smirk as you blinked at him.

"Um" you thought for a moment.

"Can I get two specialty martinis please" Felix ordered before turning back to you and winking "if you say specialty at any of these bars they will serve you a non alcoholic drink that looks like one so no one is the wiser".

"Any other tips you can share with me?" you smiled gracefully as the bartender placed the two drinks in front of you making Felix lean into your ear as though he was spilling secrets.

"Don't take Chan as just the owner, he is one of us too" he whispered "and to be honest half the escort boys you met would have knocked me out if they knew I was going to monopolize your attention for so long". His breath grazed your neck as he spoke, making you shiver hoping that he wouldn't notice the effect he was having on you and the struggle to remain as professional as possible that you were currently battling inside your head.

"How often this week do you think you will be on this floor then Felix?" you whispered back hoping to keep the purely professional status between you since your mind was screaming at you that he was too good to be true.

"This is probably going to be the only time to be honest with you" he moved to tuck your hair behind your ear once again, before taking your elbow to guide you back across to the elevator "I have a feeling I will be booked fairly solidly from here on out, shall we see the next floor?"

Stepping into the elevator again Felix draped his arm once again around your waist pulling you closer to his side, completely distracting you from the doors closing or opening again, before leading you from the elevator to a private booth at the far end of the room and sliding you in and following in after you.

"So tell me, why did you take this assignment?" he tilted his head looking only into your eyes as he spoke, capturing you entirely from what you had been planning on observing around the room.

"Truthfully, I was hoping I could make a good impression on my bosses and get more interesting work" you admitted "I'm a little tired of the ten ways to look younger, or how to land a wealthy boyfriend articles I usually get".

"Hmm, I can understand that" he sipped his drink casually. "You don't seem the type to work in the whole lifestyle media world to be honest with you, you seem more serious".

"I wouldn't have taken you for an escort either, a rich boy maybe or even a host but still here we are" you fired back teasingly.

"Well right now I'm not any of those things" he smirked, eyes twinkling in the low mood lighting of the room.

"Oh I'm pretty sure you're still a rich boy, judging by how tailored that designer suit is" you giggled playfully, enjoying how he was making you feel much more comfortable than you had anticipated.

"Fair I am still that, but I'm not treating you like I would if you were one of my guests, I thought you might get a bit sick of me if it was all just smoke and mirrors" The honesty of his words made you feel somewhat pleased that you were seeing a more realistic version of Felix even if it wasn't the same as if you had met him anywhere else on any other day.

"Right this is where you're hiding huh?" Chan's voice floated over you both bursting the bubble that you were currently in.

"I'm just showing Miss R what a host experience would entail Chan" Felix grinned cheekily.

"Well you have a booking so off you trot I'll find someone else to entertain our fly on the wall guest" Chan chuckled as Felix got out of the booth missing the look he shot you before he left to find his guest, he looked almost a little disappointed to be leaving you which made butterflies burst out in your stomach.

"Would you like me to find someone to look after you?" Chan's voice had you turning back to him blinking.

"Oh no, it's opening night, you need them for your guests, I'll just wander and keep to myself if that is easier" you said hurriedly not wanting to cause him any issues.

"That's fine too. I have a keycard for you so you can go to any of the floors you want, except the top, don't want you walking into something you shouldn't" he winked sneakily pressing the card into your hand before heading back to your assumed work.

You slipped from the booth taking the final sip of your drink and heading towards the elevator deciding that you should probably make your way back down to the bar to observe the party and not just spend the rest of the evening hoping to catch a glimpse of Felix again. Stepping into the party atmosphere of the upper bar you walked towards the bar slipping around groups of women and wait staff who looked like they had been training for how busy it was going to be for weeks in advance. Different handsome men caught your attention as you looked about, all were almost unbelievably attractive but no two looked that much alike they all had their own uniqueness which you suppose was how they made their money catering to the exact fantasy of the guest they were entertaining. As you made your way closer to the bar you were intercepted by a man you hadn't met before.

"Good evening, beautiful, what brings you here alone?" His smooth voice washed over you "May I keep you company?".

"Hello and of course you can but you will be wasting your time on me" you apologized quickly.

"I would very much doubt that" you smiled softly, his pretty eyes and angelic face making you feel a little flustered "I'm Yunho" he introduced himself taking your hand to press a chaste kiss to your knuckles.

"Pleasure to meet you Yunho" you stammered as he guided you to a seat at the bar "I'm the reporter that is writing the editorial on the place".

"Oh you're Miss R!" his eyes lit up as he waved down one of the staff at the bar "Some of the others were talking about you, said you were very pretty and had been swept off her feet by Felix. I'll admit I'm pleased that only one of those is true".

"I can tell you're a host but what kind of host are you?" you licked your lips trying to keep your composure at his flirting.

"Ah Chan already mentioned there are differences, no wonder he's hopeless with telling too much to pretty girls" he laughed "But I am just a host, I'm not in the same league as Felix, Chan or Hyunjin".

"Now you know I'm not a paying guest, do you still want to sit here with me?" you questioned not just because you wanted to ask him everything you could think of about his job but also because you didn't want to make him feel obligated if there was money to be made elsewhere.

"I would rather talk with you about whatever you wish to know than pretend to be interested in empty headed socialites" he whispered coyly his lips coming closer to your ear "Although maybe we should move to our own little corner rather than the bar?"

"What did you have in mind, Yunho? you're the one with experience here" you whispered back conspiratorially a small smile tugged on the corners of his lips.

"Follow me Miss R, I'll show you all the ins and outs" you waggled his eyebrows playfully at you before picking up two tall glasses that looked like gin and tonics. Yunho nestled you right into the front corner of the upper level which gave you access to watch the whole floor and a good section of the lower floor placing your glass in front of you he sat closely beside you.

"What drew you to this job?" you quipped as soon as he was seated.

"Well I fell into it actually, I met a few of the other guys Yeosang, Wooyong and Mingi they said I should give it a go. I already knew I had pretty good looks so why not use them to make some money right?" He explained animatedly "So after I worked at a few different host places where I was just part time I met Chan, he had given the others a job and he gave me one too".

"That is such a random set of circumstances" you laughed.

"Well the other three work here with me, we’re here 5 nights a week and make more then we would working a normal job with way less hours" he shrugged easily his smile infectious as he looked at you softly "I meet interesting people, I get paid to flirt and be charming it is the easiest job in the world the only downside is that I haven't told my family and getting a girlfriend is hard" you nodded empathizing with him, you hadn't thought about it but you would probably have to leave all last names out of the article to make sure that a level on anonymity was maintained. You couldn't out people for their jobs to their family after all that was unethical.

"So the hours are good and the job isn't too hard? Sounds like a dream really" you said wistfully thinking of how much over time you were going to need to work to type up the part of the article to do with the opening.

"It's not all roses, some of the people we have to entertain treat us like shit, we are paid to give them attention, flatter them, make them feel special but they treat us like we are nothing more than an object half the time. Or worse we get some who not only eat up every word we say but believe it so they become obsessed and come in all the time." he continued shrugging as though it was normal to have admirers fighting for your attention.

"What happens in the case of them becoming obsessed?" you asked genuinely concerned.

"Well as long as they can afford to pay for our time then we keep seeing them, you do feel bad for them they think we are in love with them and we are actually saying the same to the next woman we see. Once they can't afford our time they can come in the building anymore" his answers were still far too casual for what he was talking about in your opinion.

"They are just barred?" you almost splutter.

"Well not barred permanently they can come back when they can afford to but that is why Chan decided to make a much more elite version of the standard club. The more money you have the more you can spend but the more likely you will draw a scandal if you become too invested in any one host" he clarified not looking at you directly but leaning in to you as he spoke so he could keep his voice quiet. He seemed to be watching the room far closer than you which made you sit back from him and continue to scan the crowd and how smoothly things were coming together.

You couldn't help notice the moment Chan walked back into your eye line speaking to another quite tall and attractive man who he sent toward a man who had been standing at the bottom of the stairs monitoring the room the whole time you had been in a place you could see him. You hadn't been introduced but you assumed he was the majordomo in Chan's stead while they were all working, he seemed to direct just about every host that was on the lower floors and he sent this tall handsome one up the stairs towards you.

"Good evening Miss R" he smiled almost sinfully "I'm San and I deeply apologize but I need to steal Yunho here away".

"Oh of course, I don't want to interrupt your work" your eyes widened slightly thinking you had gotten Yunho in trouble "I didn't mean to take so much of his time".

"Don't worry Miss R" Yunho grinned roguishly "I think someone else wants to monopolize your time" he stood following San across the floor to a group of women who were probably in the later part of their thirties to make a good impression and hopefully some business.

"You seem to be enjoying yourself," Chan noted, offering you his hand so you could stand.

"This is a lovely bar regardless of the other things you have going on here" you conceded watching him look proud from a moment.

"Would you like to have a little more in depth look around?" He offered chuckling at how you seemed to be taking in as many details as possible.  

"How much more in depth?" you tilted your head at him for a moment making him chuckle before he led you to the elevator. 

"Were going up to the level 4 I have a space that I haven't been able to fill that I think you might be perfect for" Chan almost purred as he spoke to you making your body react in a way you hadn't expected, you shivered and your breathing increased at the prospect of what he meant.

"I'm confused Chan" you said slowly as he gently guided you towards a booth that was unoccupied.

"Well the fourth floor has a booth that hasn't been filled and a host that hasn't been assigned so I was hoping you would do me a favor and fill that gap for the time being" he revealed helping you on to the plush velvet couch that made up the majority of the space. Most of the curtains around you were drawn partially or completely, you could see the occasional glimpse of the host that was working but not the guest. The booth to your right hand side Changbin lounging legs half spread as he lent toward whoever he was entertaining to your left you saw a flash of blonde hair and a tailored suit and knew instantly it was Felix.

"I can do that for you, it would be my pleasure" you bit your bottom lip a little to cover the nerves you were feeling but you did feel like you owed Chan to help him if he needed a favor in return for the unlimited access he was giving you.

"Excellent, I will let him know you are here" He grinned walking behind you to the bar. You didn't want to get caught looking around too much but you couldn't help your curiosity, looking at the other booths you could see occasional comings and goings of the wait staff bringing drinks or bottles of wine but nothing too interesting until you sat further into the cushions and looked to your left noticing Felix's looking at you with a almost annoyed expression but his eyes darted away quickly.

"Hello, we met earlier" a slightly husky voice took your attention away from Felix and to yet another handsome man, this one tall and lean with beautiful features and the prettiest lips you thought you had ever seen on anyone ever. "I'm Hyunjin".

"Hello Hyunjin, I do remember" you swallowed feeling shy to be under such an intense gaze, he moved to draw the curtains across both the left and right of you to keep you from any other person's gaze but not before snorting softly as he pulled the left side across. Sitting beside you he pushed a small button on the coffee table in front of you and made himself comfortable.

"I realize this might be slightly strange for you but I will try to make this as genuine as I can without too much theatrics" He chuckled honestly making you feel a little more at ease.

"How is it that a host such as yourself is not fully booked?" you asked tentatively not wanting to start off on the wrong foot.

"Well my guest was unable to choose between myself and another host so she flipped a coin and I was suddenly no longer booked" he smirked as you furrowed your brow at him. "We will see guests in pairs or sometimes even groups but if they want a more one-on-one experience we usually prefer to work solo, unless of course the price is right".

"One on one? you don't, mean down here do you?" you asked, picking up and sipping the glass of wine that had appeared on the table for you brought by a very discrete member of the staff.

"Perceptive of you" he chuckled and smiled fondly at you "Yes one on one upstairs".

"Well you guys have to pay your rent too" you shrugged looking up at him "So what is a night with a host actually like? Is it all flirting and playing a role for you?"

"Its both those things but much more, I won't bother with the smoke and mirrors Felix said you can see through that, but we make conversation, give you our full attention, give you the opportunity to unwind with a man you might not normally get to spend time with" Hyunjin clarified "We are paid to feign interest but I won't need to do that either because you Miss R are quite interesting already".

"Why have all of you started calling me that?" you almost giggle watching his eyes crinkle with amusement.

"Well you are a reporter, and we are not going to call you by your name in case someone recognizes you, you get the anonymity that the rest of us hosts do while you're here. But if you come back after we will all definitely use your name" Hyunjin teasingly laughed making you smile as his eyes turned into perfect little moons making him look younger.

"How did you fall into this life Hyunjin? Was it just that you are incredibly attractive?" you continued to smile as he looked almost surprised at the confidence with which you spoke as you swirled your drink.

"Incredibly attractive huh?" Hyunjin smirked, recovering quickly. "Probably the same way as the others you have spoken to did, I was in art school and pretty broke. I was thinking I could do life modeling for extra money but that isn't the best paid job. I overheard a classmate say she had gone to a host club with her friend and they weren't even as pretty as me and I thought I can do that so I did" he shrugged casually readjusting his position on the couch so he was closer to you.

"That is actually not too different from what Yunho told me" you agreed, finishing the glass of wine.

"Yunho? First you run off with Felix then Yunho, you are popular" Hyunjin joked moving to pour more wine into your glass.

"That's not what happened!" You almost squeaked "Felix showed me around and Yunho just sat with me for a little while at the bar in between his bookings". Hyunjin threw his head back laughing at your defense while you still looked scandalized.

"I was just teasing you Miss Reporter" he admitted smiling wide, his overly sexy demeanor dropping to show you a glimpse of the more everyday version of him as you continued to sip to hide your nerves and keep yourself grounded.

"I think I might have gotten Felix in trouble though" you admitted sheepishly "Chan didn't look too pleased I was taking up his time".

"Oh he wasn't displeased or even annoyed" Hyunjin interrupted you swiftly "Chan was thrilled Felix took an interest in you actually, it gave him the potential of a very favorable editorial and also Felix doesn't really have an interest in anyone who isn't part of our little circle".

"What do you mean by that, the not showing interest part?" you quizzed quickly feeling more forthright as the alcohol buzzed through your system.

"Felix is incredibly professional, he doesn't see women outside of the job, we were worried he was gay for a while and that we had been using him to attract the wrong clients. But he just doesn't take any interest because he doesn't want to get hurt, he knows nearly all women would not want to be with a man who make his money fucking other women" Hyunjin stated bluntly.

"Oh that's awful. Do you all feel like that?" You probed gently feeling sad for Felix and mad at yourself for not noticing that he was perhaps not happy.

"We all love our job, we are well paid, we get to spend time with beautiful women and we can work when we want. But it can be lonely in our world" his smile was wistful as he looked at you moving to tuck you hair behind your ear slowly pulling his hand away from you.

"Still, that sounds like it makes things harder for you" you sighed, meeting his eyes.

"Kind of you to say but we will only have this job for so long, then we will have the rest of our lives to find someone" Hyunjin leaned a little closer again but you didn't mind closer was good for sharing information that otherwise wouldn't be divulged.

"Still you're all so young to just give up on the idea that someone out there won't care for you regardless" you chastised playfully "You only have your youth once Hyunjin".

"Well consider me a changed man then" he giggled, taking your hand in his tracing his fingers in small circles across your wrist. "What about you then? Surely your boyfriend would have hated the idea of you spending a week here, job or not".

"I am very single so that was not an issue" you grinned starting to feel a little more than buzzed from the wine.

"I find it hard to believe someone as gorgeous as you is single" he smirked, his fingers still tracing patterns on your bare wrist and forearm.

"Funny Hyunjin" you rolled your eyes. "I have actually been single for a while, I don't seem to attract the right men".

"Again that seems unlikely but if you say so" he teased, topping your glass up again.

"I understand how you are so popular as a host now though" you smirked while you enjoyed his flirting and gentle touches you knew they weren't real.

"I'll let you in on a little secret then shall I?" Hyunjin whispered in a low voice sliding across the velvet surface until he was touching your thigh with his and his words could be breathed directly into your ear.

"Sure Hyunjin, tell me and see if I believe you" you whispered back sounding more confident than you were.

"Everything I have said has been true and I would very much like to take you upstairs" he whispered again pressing his lips to your earlobe.

"I'm sorry?" you spluttered, completely flustered by his words and the feeling of his lips on your skin.

"I. would. like. to. take. you. upstairs" he repeated slowly enunciating each word.

"I, um, why would you want that?" you stuttered feeling heat burning under your skin

"I think I could show you exactly how you should be treated, I think you would enjoy it and I very much would" he continued slipping his arm around your shoulders to hold you closer against him, the hand on your wrist now cupping your face.

"I don't think you mean that Hyunjin" you whispered breathily, your wide eyes trained on him.

"I think you will find that I do" he smiled sultrily before closing the space between you and softly pressing his lips to yours. It had been so long since you had been kissed you almost melted into him as his plump lips slid against yours but instead you pulled away slightly and Hyunjin dropped his hand from your face as he moved to press his forehead against yours.

"Hyunjin" you breathed your breath no doubt caressing his lips given how close he still was "You can't, we can't, I can't".  

"Because of your editorial or because you don't want to?" he smiled softly, not moving away from you.

"The editorial is most of it" you admitted trying to get your heart rate to calm "but I also don't want to be tipsy if I was to go upstairs with you or anyone else".

"You are very honest Miss R, which is almost fatally attractive" he whispered fondly, moving himself slightly further back from you to give you a little more room.

"I try to be" you blinked, still feeling a little dazed.

"How about we call this a night, I will make sure you get a driver to take you home and make sure you are safe" Hyunjin smiled ruefully.

"I am sorry Hyunjin, I don't mean it harshly I just don't want to be clouded by alcohol" you bit your lip feeling like you had hurt him.

"I'm not hurt by your decision Miss R, I respect that you wish to be sober that is not a flaw" He explained intertwining his fingers with yours "now let me make sure you get home safely"

"Thank you Hyunjin" you agreed following letting his lead you to the elevators but not before looking to see if you could catch another glimpse of Felix, the booth he had been in was empty now curtains pulled back and the table sparkling clean again making you feel something you couldn't identify as you looked around noticing the others were all still occupied and that the elevator was not coming down not up towards your floor.

"If you're looking for him he is on level 5 by now" Hyunjin whispered in your ear making your stomach drop slightly.

"Oh no I am just wondering what happens when the table becomes empty does Chan replace it with just regular hosts?" you tried to cover your obvious want to see Felix again.

"I don't actually know, you see all of the guests in here, beside you, will end up on level 5 with their host so what happens after we go upstairs isn't something I've ever bothered looking at" Hyunjin shrugged mischievously as he stepped into the elevator with you making your way down to the ground floor but instead of leaving through the main entrance he sneakily took you through the the staff door. 

"Hyunjin, where on earth are you taking me?" you chuckled, confusion lacing your voice as you noticed some of the other hosts you hadn't seen before looking at you surprised.

"I told you Miss R, I'm making sure you get home safely, we have drivers, I will send you home with one to make sure that happens" he shook his head at you sitting you in one of the chairs as he ventured through a door that led further into the building.

Hyunjin had put you in a black luxury sedan that drove you home and made sure you had entered your building before leaving to return to Club 143. Your head was full of too many thoughts and the fog of alcohol to actually bother writing anything down for the editorial you simply got into the shower, washed your face and climbed into bed hoping the morning light would bring clarity not just embarrassment for your behavior. Felix had flirted with you and had shown some sort of interest in you, but he looked annoyed at you later on, Hyunjin had kissed you and asked you to go to bed with him and Yunho had divulged some more sinister aspects of the job. The following part of the week was going to be intense, you could feel it but that was fine you would be able to handle it.

You were happily surprised that you had no headache or hangover when you woke up although you didn't think you had drunk enough to get hung over. It was much more of a little too tipsy, not full on drunk. You knew as you got dressed you would have to transfer your notes from the cloud to your laptop so that you could start the editorial about how beautiful a location it was and how fantastic the food, drinks and staff were, you could also start adding the sections that you needed to write about Chan as the owner/operator but you would need to speak to him about what he would and would not like to have added about his on host activities. It had been almost two in the morning by the time you got home so you knew that there was no way you could turn up before lunch, the staff would need time to recover all though surely there were dozens and dozens of them in order to be open everyday.

Concentrating you spent the first few hours of your morning writing and editing your drafts before ordering flowers for your colleague who had lent you the dress for the previous night. You would probably need to shop or at least rent something for the other nights rather than just wear her clothes the whole assignment. Besides, something inside you was telling you that looking a little bit more interesting than you did last night wouldn't be a bad thing, at least for the first weekend they were open. You were expecting to see more interesting things over the Friday to Sunday nights, more normal to the host world and less of a large opening gala type thing. Chan had previously stated that you were welcome to bring clothes with you to change into and anything else you might need for you to change into, to save you time and no doubt also to give him more time to sleep off the night before so shopping before you left for Club 143 should be easy for you.

Stepping into the large department store was something fairly foreign for you, you stuck to smaller and cheaper stores generally since you couldn't afford this level of expense everyday. The sales assistants were all impeccably dressed in black chic uniforms flitting between customers and looking far more put together than you ever did, for the most part they ignored you which gave you time to think about the level of investment these few dresses would be.

"Good morning Miss R" a deep honeyed voice spoke softly to you as you ran your fingers across the fabric of a beautiful dress that was way too expensive for you even to pretend to look at, making you look up slightly startled.

"Good Morning Felix" you smiled shyly looking up at him "I didn't think you would be out and about so early considering how busy you were when I last saw you".

"I needed to pick up my suits for the weekend" he explained his smile warming you "Although from what I was told you spent your time all over the party last night, even Hyunjin was lucky enough to spend time with you".

"True, not my doing though I was asked for a favor from Chris which was to fill the booth Hyunjin was working" you shrugged "He seems nice if not a little forward".

"Forward? Sounds about right" Felix laughed, the deep smooth sound attracting the attention of the attendants in the area "Did you have fun? Is that why you are shopping for new clothes?"

"I am but I have strayed off course I could never wear designers like these" you admitted as his brow crinkled slightly.

"That doesn't mean you shouldn't try them on, these clothes are only beautiful on someone not hanging on a rack" he smiled again dazzling you into nodding slightly.

"Excuse me miss? my girlfriend is looking for a few new outfits, could you assist?" Felix turned to the assistant waiting a few racks away smiling at her politely.

"Oh course sir" she nodded, batting her eyelashes at him as she made her way between the clothes  to you "What size would fit you, Miss?" she smiled.

"Oh I'm not sure" you bit your lip looking at the dress in front of you.

"I would suggest a medium sweetheart" Felix almost purred as the assistant nodded in agreement and found several items in your size ushering you and Felix towards the dressing room area.

"Felix" you quietly hissed, "I shouldn't be wasting her time like this and who said anything about girlfriends" knowing he heard you as he silently shook with laughter.

"It's not wasting her time if she had nothing to do anyway" he whispered back taking a seat on the large lounge suite that sat next to the full length mirrors as you were ushered behind gold colored curtains to change into the dress you had originally been looking at a black lace square necked dress that was lined with a skin toned underlay. You knew you were not going to buy any of these but Felix waiting for you to show him how you looked in it spurred you on. Getting yourself into the dress was easier said than done. The zip was small and awkward and you needed to wiggle yourself around but when you got there clearing your throat you popped your head around the curtain to see Felix smirking waiting for you.

"Well come out sweetheart let me see how it looks" he teased, somehow seeming to know he was flustering you again, taking a deep breath as you stepped out from behind the curtain.

"How does it look?" you asked softly your hands, smoothing the fabric nervously.

"Well you do look beautiful in it, but I think you would look gorgeous in something a little shorter or maybe tighter?" Felix mused tapping his chin as the assistant returned to agree with him as he sent her to find exactly that.

"Felix, didn't you have suits to collect?" you mumble as you were now left alone again.

"Yeah but this is much more fun" his eyes lit up as you looked at yourself wistfully "besides you will spend the whole night watching women who aren't as pretty as you get attention for men who would be rather talking to you as you take notes for an editorial that might change your career, live a little".

"You are a terrible influence on me" you laughed disappearing behind the curtain to get the zipper back down as the girl returned with a rack of things for you to try.

"I have several different styles and a mix of black and color so you can find exactly what you think would be right" she chirped, sliding behind the curtain to show you the rack which was filled with ridiculously expensive and gorgeous dresses. Leaving you to change she left the room allowing you to slip into a black mini dress with hot pink lining, the pink was going to be visible every time you took a step but you liked it, you were just nervous that Felix might not, which logically made no sense to you as you were not buying any of these dresses and you weren't trying to impress Felix, but you still took a deep breath before stepping out.

"Now that one looks amazing" Felix whistled playfully looking you up and down.

"You don't need to pretend she isn't here anymore" you sassed rolling your eyes.

"I'm not lying, you look incredible Miss R" he sighed, his eyes finding yours and looking almost innocent "try the others" he encouraged. After trying on every single dress your favorite was the black and pink satin mini, a black long sleeved mini that was studded with crystals and a one shoulder red and black mini. Felix had said that he liked all of them but those three got the best reactions from him.

"What were your favorites?" He asked sweetly as you reemerged in your own clothes.

"The black and pink and the black with crystals" you smiled as he gestured towards the door.

"They were my favorites too" he whispered temptingly in your ear.

"Shame that is the only time I'll get to wear something like that" you sighed as the assistant returned to the shop floor with the rack.

"Did you want to get a coffee with me Miss R? I have another 45 minutes before my suits will be ready.

"I would like that" you stuttered, heat rushing up your throat and into your cheeks.

Sitting with Felix in the open was very different than sitting with Felix in a Club 143, firstly the looks and stares he attracted were constant and second he was much less of a smooth operator when he wasn't on the clock. Ordering you both coffee, at his insistence, and coming back with cake was somehow unsurprising even though you barely knew him, you still thanked him and took the chocolate cake with a happy smile making him almost grin at your reaction.

"You look like you like sweet things" he spoke softly as he sat opposite you at the little table in the back of the cafe.

"I do like sweet things, guess you busted me" you chuckled taking your first bite and just about moaning at how good it tasted.

"I'll let you in on a secret" he winked exaggeratedly "me too".

"So is this your life when you aren't hosting?" you asked genuinely as your coffee was being brought over to you.

"Sort of, I do all the normal things during the hours most people work and often a bunch of us hang out or work out together" he shrugged while sipping his coffee.

"So just the reverse of everyone else" you nodded "That must make meeting people hard".

"It would be if I actually wanted to, but I don't think a lot of women are that understanding of my job" he replied easily like it wasn't a big deal.

"Yeah I get that I guess a lot of women wouldn't see that it's all just smoke and mirrors, it's an experience that you tailor to your customers needs it isn't real". You conceded sipping your drink and not noticing the look Felix was giving you as you continued eating.

"You said you were single too though, didn't you?" Felix recovered quickly "Is that because of your job or because you aren't looking?".

"Bit of both really, my job means I have to be flexible to go to any event I get sent to regardless of what else I had planned" you smiled "guys often don't like it if they aren't your main priority".

"That's shitty of them then" Felix scoffed, making you laugh, it was so easy talking to him he was much more relaxed even though he still looked like he should be on a runway with his perfectly tousled hair and designer look.

"I think your suits would be ready by now, it's been an hour Felix" you said finishing your coffee "I shouldn't take up anymore of your free time since you don't have that much of it".

"Nah, you can take up as much as you like but you still have dress shopping to finish, so will I see you tonight then?" He agreed, offering you his hand to help you to stand.

"Of course I will be in tonight and each night this week" you smiled as he walked you back towards the place you needed to be "See you tonight Felix" you waved before walking towards the escalator to find clothes you could actually afford to buy.

The rest of the day had been dull you had bought a tighter than normal floor length emerald green dress and a black mini dress in a satin fabric that reminded you of the mini that Felix had said he liked so buy the time you were packed up and ready to head to Club 143 to start your evening you weren't feeling nervous about having to meet so many different hosts to get a feel for how they liked working for Chan or how they became hosts in the first place because it felt like, in Felix, you had at least a friend on your side hoping for you to succeed. You had not bothered to dress in your work suit since you would be changing into more appropriate club attire before the night actually started so when you arrived in jeans and a sweater you were not expecting the almost same response as you had gotten the night before when you were far more dressed up.

"Looking good Miss R" Yunho called as you walked through the staff door with a large bag in tow.

"Hello Yunho, did you have an eventful night?" you called back knocking on Chan's door before wandering in when you got no answer and depositing your things in the corner he had said you could use.

"Yeah the only fun part was talking to you" he told you with a slightly flirtatious tinge in his voice.

"I'm sure" you chuckled as Chan appeared through the staff door from the bar.

"Ah good you're back, I was hoping last night didn't frighten you off" he teased dimples flashing as his own joke.

"Hyunjin tried his hardest but he couldn't chase me off. Sorry" you shrugged.

"Ooh immune to Hyunjin, you will be hard to win over" he scratched his chin in jest "but you met some of my hosts last night and tonight you will probably get to meet a few more but I have found a handful you haven't met yet if you wanted to talk to them about this place".

"That would be brilliant Chan, thank you" You smiled genuinely.

"I figured you can speak to our regular hosts as they float around before they start and if you wanted to join me for dinner I thought you might want to speak to Seungmin and Changbin" Chan continued please with your reactions.

"That sounds perfect. Who are the hosts for me to catch before they start?" you asked, remembering that Chan said he had thirty odd hosts who worked for him.

"I have asked San and Hongjoong to hang out with you on and off while everyone gets ready" he explained "I assume since there are bags in my office you will be getting ready here?"

"Yeah I figured I can get ready after the night has started so I don't take up too much space" you smiled.

"So like yesterday, make yourself at home and use whatever you need. I'm thinking of a slightly early dinner so I will come grab you if you like for that" Chan continued watching you closely.

"Oh that would be great if it isn't too much trouble for you I might get lost in what I'm writing otherwise" you agreed easily.

"Well I will leave you to your work then I'll send whichever of the boys is free and ready first your way" he grinned as you went to sit at one of the tables that littered the room getting out your laptop to start your work and figuring a coffee wouldn't go astray either at that point in the afternoon. You had been sipping your iced latte and going through photographers that you could get in to get the best shots of the club for your article. You hadn't even noticed the two suited up men making their way towards you.

"Miss R" the first one interrupted, breaking your concentration "Is now a good time for us to talk or would you like us to come back later?".

"Oh no, now is good" you blinked up at them as they took seats opposite you.

"I'm Hongjoong, and this is San" he continued smiling at you casually.

"Nice to meet you both" you greeted, remembering that San was the one that had collected Yunho the night before "Thank you for speaking with me" trying to not look like you had been totally floored by their good looks.

"Did you want to talk to us about why we started hosting?" San asked leisurely, leaning back on his chair.

"Yes but also about working for Chan and how you entertain your guests. It's a good way to sell your particular skills since you all seem to do things slightly differently" you explained.

"We can do that for you Miss R" Hongjoong grinned as you opened your notes and started listening to them. Both were very sweet so it was easy for you to get lost in the conversation until Chan reappeared at the table suited up and looking stupidly handsome.

"We are having dinner in a few. Did you still want to join us?" He grinned looking at how your eyes widened and you realized the time.

"Oh yes, yes I will change after if that is alright" you nodded, collecting your belongings together and thanking both the hosts for taking the time to talk to you. You followed Chan towards the elevator which took you both up to the fourth floor which was confusing to you.

"We are going to use this area tonight to give you a bit more time to chat since this area isn't open until after the bar" Chan explained, picking up on your train of thought instantly.

"How is it that you guys do that? Pick up what someone is thinking or feeling?" you narrowed your eyes at him in faux suspicion.

"We make our living on exploiting what women want, we wouldn't be very good at our jobs if we couldn't read you well" Seungmin sniggered as Chan pulled out a seat for you to sit in.

"That's very honest of you" you chuckled looking at him across the table.

"I'm Seungmin in case you haven't heard enough names over the past 24 hours" he smirked.

"Thank you for the reminder Seungmin, it isn't easy to talk to a dozen ridiculously handsome men without the added burden of remembering their names" you smiled dryly making Changbin laugh.

"He's just poking fun because he thinks he can" Chan sighed, giving Seungmin a look that you didn't quite understand.

"You can poke as much fun as you like Seungmin, I am after all just an interloper into your world" you continued smiling but pulled your face into the professional expression you used for work.

"I like you, you're way more fun than we expected" Changbin grinned casually as food started to arrive at the table.

"I took the liberty of ordering things you hadn't tried yet" Chan explained as you curled your brow at the plates in front of you, knowing that somehow he was responsible for it.

"So how does this all come together? Did you know each other before this? How do you make the jump from maybe I'll host to I'll escort on the side to, I'll open/work at an elite level like this?" You mused looking between them for clues to how this all worked because you had an inkling that at least the 8 core of elite hosts were closer and more equal than it first appeared.

"Well I told you how we came to open already but I'm assuming you want how we specifically found ourselves here?" Chan smirked already seeing that you had put more pieces together than he had supplied information for. You nodded as you put the first mouthful of souffle into your mouth before you paused savoring how good it was. 

"Well I met Chan years ago" Changbin started putting his fork down as he watched you eat a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips "We have been friends for years it was him that got me into hosting to begin with we were far younger then but it wasn't all that different except that working for other people meant a smaller cut of what you got paid but it was easy money while we were in uni".

"I met them later when I got a job as bar staff, not as a host at the same club. Jeongin was the same, we both became hosts at a different club later but we kept in touch" Seungmin added before taking another mouthful of pasta.

"So when and why did it jump from hosting to escorting?" you questioned letting Chan carve the large steak that was on the table and serve you a few slices.

"Why is easy, that was because the money was fantastic and being young and horny with easy access to women every night why not" Changbin laughed "The when was, I think just before my 21st birthday I had been hosting since I was 19 so I already learned all the skills I needed to flatter my way into that situation so why not get paid for it".

"Practical" you quipped sipping the wine that had been delivered to you "I mean why not get paid for what you like doing". All three of them laughed then as you didn't pass any judgment on them for their choices.

"This would be why everyone you have talked to so far is so enamored with you" Seungmin smirked, making your eyes widen in confusion.

"Excuse me?" you spluttered completely caught off guard.

"I agree doesn't judge openly and is oblivious to how she is seen by others" Changbin added as though it was an afterthought.

"I would respectfully call bullshit on that observation" you grumbled as your phone began ringing and your boss' name and number flashed across the screen "excuse me, my boss" you smiled. They nodded watching your change in demeanor as you answered the call mouthing thank yous to Chan.

"Good Evening Sir" you chirped, faking your enthusiasm to speak to him as you made your way across the room to the lift so you could slink out the back and get yourself ready.

"Your request for a photographer who can take artful photos is for what reason?" He gruffly demanded without greeting you.

"Well the bar is particularly attractive and last night alone I saw politicians wives, and half a dozen socialites if we can capture how beautiful and opulent it is we might be able to swing some fashion comments from them to boost out fashion pages and the male hosts here are very attractive the readers would very much like to have decent photos of them" you explained quickly trying to spin as much of a positive for him as you could even though you were wanting to move past him and to the editorials boss.

"If you can't take the photo's yourself then you can't expect us not to take the photographer fee from your paycheck" He continued telling you off subtly.

"Of course sir, I will do that instead sir" you swallowed as he hung up on you hoping that he would not be calling back with another complaint once you submitted the first draft of the editorial in a few days time. 

Stepping into Chan's office you locked the door and quickly slipped into the dress you had brought with you, after last night you had decided that you should also put a little more effort into your makeup so you blended in a little more so you weren't surprised by the knock at the door indicating you had taken longer than you should have.

"Sorry Chan" you apologized, unlocking the door and pulling it open coming face to face with Felix and Hyunjin.

"We meet again Miss R" Hyunjin purred playfully, taking your hand and kissing the back of it.

"Hello Hyunjin" you rolled your eyes at his dramatic flare.

"You look beautiful in emerald, it brings out your eyes" Felix smiled as you met his eyes instantly becoming transfixed with how beautiful he looked with his hair slightly tousled in a deep navy suit.

"Flirt" you mumbled shyly as Chan cleared his throat behind them both. 

"Sorry Chan, I didn't mean to take your office for so long" you apologized again as he chuckled.

"It's not a problem Miss R, shall we?" He offered you his arm in a friendly manner which you took before he led you out on the floor, missing the expression on both Felix or Hyunjin's faces but not the loud whoop of laughter that erupted as the door started to close.

Most of the second night was not as intense as the opening night less pomp and ceremony and far more rich women on a mission, you were content to sit on the second level watching the hosts come and go entertaining and the farewelling their guests, occasionally getting winks or nods of recognition before they dived back in for the next guests. You hadn't seen Felix, Hyunjin or Chan again during the course of the night but you had caught glimpses of Seungmin and Minho as their guests arrived and they escorted them upstairs but the more fly on the wall view of them working was making it much easier for you to think up how the start of your editorial would go and how you would sell the speakeasy bar of the enterprise at least. As the night wore on you found yourself more and more comfortable with the idea of being at Club 143 which was, you assumed at least, Chan's entire plan for you. He had welcomed you, fed you, given you access to his employees but you were struggling to actually figure out how you could justify the next few nights of sitting around observing when you really had probably gotten everything you needed. You made a note in your phone to speak with Chan about whether he had already had any professional photos taken of the place or his hosts that you would be able to use for the article.

After several hours had ticked by you made your way back towards Chan's office so you could change again and head home, entering the staff area you noticed there were a few of the boys sitting either having a break or getting ready to head back into the club.

"Miss R, you alright?" San called to you looking slightly concerned.

"I'm fine San, I just should be calling it a night" you smiled warmly back at him, his concern for you making you feel genuinely thankful. Entering Chan's office you collected your bag so you could change out of your dress and into your jeans again.

"Did you want me to grab you a car to take you back home? I'm sure Chan would want to make sure you were safe" he continued appearing at the open office door.

"That's too kind of you San" you chuckled as he made his way towards you to help you with the bag, taking it effortlessly from you and offering you his arm.

"I know I'm not Felix or Hyunjin but I still would like you to get home safely" He joked guiding you to the back entrance to the building to where the cars were and once again you found yourself being helped into a black luxury car "See you tomorrow Miss R" he grinned shutting the door for you to let the driver get you home.

After getting a decent night's sleep you decided it would be better to get as much of the draft done as possible so you could run through any final questions you had with Chan later that night. You were sure you had enough now to be able to write the article without needing to spend a full week taking up Chan or any of the others further time and preventing them making the full amount they should for an opening week, and if Chan had photo's of at least the hosts that you could use the article would be pretty much done and could go off to the editor to go over. Without meaning to, you managed to work all the way to lunch time before getting your things back together to head back to Club 143 for perhaps the last time depending on whether you needed to add any extra information to your editor, or Chan for that matter, request.

Arriving at 12:30 you made your way through the empty bar after being greeted by the doorman and waving to the bar staff who were preparing for the night's service. Making your way into the staff area you were surprised to find Chan meeting with some of his top hosts making you pause as you closed the door behind you.

"Miss R, you return to us again" Hyunjin smiled, waggling his eyebrows at you.

"I promise I will be out of your hair soon Hyunjin" you smirked watching him deflate slightly and the others to laugh.

"Hopefully not to soon" Chan grinned standing to take your bag and place it in his office "Come join us it will give you some more insight" he gestured for you to take a chair somewhere in the room so you did without argument, partly because you were being paid to learn about his business and partly because the closest empty chair happened to be besides Felix totally missing the look Chan gave the others as you sat yourself down and got your phone ready to take notes.

"We have been discussing how the first two nights went" Seungmin added, making you look up at him in case he was going to continue.

"It has been pretty profitable" Felix added easily.

"Have the ladies down stairs been interested in meeting the more exclusive hosts?" Chan asked, turning to you.

"Of course they have, have you not watched them just about drool every time they see any of you?" you chuckled knowing that they knew damn well how they were being received.

"Told you" Changbin smirked looking at Chan "Miss R is a professional, she sees things the same way we do".

"It's a different point of view to ask a woman though" Chan half smiled before looking back at you. "How have you found it though you have spent time in the bar, the third and fourth floors is this place a worthy use for your time if you weren't writing an editorial about us?". 

You paused thinking exactly how you should answer such a loaded question.

"I think you have achieved what you set out to do, the bar is beautiful you feel welcomed and safe there, your hosts are handsome and all slightly different so you can cater to a thousand different women's fantasies without much trouble and from what you have shown me so far the actual host experience is very enjoyable so I think any woman would enjoy it here" you explained watching him as you did you could tell he was very pleased with your answer but you could feel that he wanted just a little bit more from you.

"As much as all of that is exactly what I wanted to hear you missed on little detail" he smiled roguishly, his host persona peeking through "Would you want to spend time here if it wasn't for your job?"  

"Yes, I would come to the bar at least" you replied, careful to keep some of your professional face on so that you didn't need to admit to the fact that you could never afford their services.

"But you wouldn't use the host service?" Seungmin pushed which made you quirk your eyebrow at him.

"I'm not sure the smoke and mirrors are going to be all that believable now that I have seen what's behind it" you shrugged "Plus I'm not sure if you have noticed but you boys are expensive". They laughed loudly at that leaving you hoping that they thought you were joking about their costs.

"Well I guess we will have to set you up some proper host experiences for you over the next few days" Hyunjin smirked at you but his eyes filled with mischief.

"Are you going to tease me about level 5 the whole time I'm here?" you pouted dramatically, rolling your eyes.

"Honestly it might be good if we have you try hosts from each of the tiers so you can write which sort of experience you can get at each level to make it obvious we are only super exclusive at the top end of the scale." Chan agreed, looking at you to gauge your reaction "If that is alright with you I can give you a rough price estimate of each encounter and you can see if it meets the experience you have" he scratched the back of his neck as he continued to watch you.

"That's actually very sensible if you want me to include all the services you have here but if you only want me writing about the first tier or two of the hosts to leave the others more exclusive you wouldn't need to bother setting up more than one or maybe two hosts willing to waste their time with me" you nodded "as long as they will still be paid properly I will feel endlessly guilty stealing their earning time on me".

"Oh they will all be paid, it's for the editorial and therefore good for the overall job we will all be doing so don't worry about them but I think Hyunjin might be right you should sample all the levels so you can experience what each type of guest can expect". Chan mused before getting out his phone to check the booking calendar. "I'll put you with San tonight or perhaps Yunho depending on their bookings, you can be on level 3 then with one of us on level 4 the same and if we get you to agree maybe you could see another room on level 5". You knew your face flushed at his final statement but you couldn't help it. You couldn't escape the connotations that level 5 was going to lead to a full host experience including sex if you agreed and although it was incredibly tempting you didn't know if morally you should. "So you would get the same treatment as our most elite clientele who cannot be seen on the lower floors" Chan finished.

"That is a huge out of pocket cost to you Chan I couldn't possibly accept that" you almost stuttered covering it by clearing your throat.

"I insist, really I should have thought of that sooner" Chan sighed looking back at you with a soft expression "I have San for you tonight so you will get the first tier host experience tonight he has a free opening that you can fill as a favor".

"The last favor I did for you I ended up tipsy" you bit your lips embarrassed.

"That's exactly how the experiences should be though" Hyunjin grinned again, looking like he had won some sort of grand prize.

The rest of the afternoon was spent going over photos with Chan that he had already had taken that you could use for the editorial. Most were only of the establishment that sold how opulent it was so that made your life a little easier to be able to write about each different area and show what was to be expected. The photos of the hosts however were going to be a little more difficult, Chan had given you a hard drive that contained photos of each of the hosts in his employment and not you needed to pick which ones you wanted. You knew you would obviously need to use one of Chan but then should you just use pictures of the hosts you were going to see as part of this experiment or should you pick the most enticing pictures you could find. Unwittingly you stumbled onto some which were virtually softcore porn, some of the escorting hosts had done a series of photos to show off their bodies to entice customers, Hyunjin with his suit jacket off and his shirt open, Chan in just his suit pants his tie undone and hanging loosely around his neck, Changbin flexing his large muscular arms and Felix laying in silk sheets looking sinful. You could feel your face heating up but you couldn't stop staring at him, Felix even in this far more sensual pose was still so painfully beautiful that you didn't want to stop looking even though you knew you shouldn't be seeing him like that.

Shaking your head to clear the lust that was begging to cloud your eyes you walked to Chan's office to see if it was empty so you could get ready, it was now almost opening hours and you couldn't be late to your appointment with San. That would be most rude. You slipped into a royal blue satin dress that was simple yet flattering to emphasized your hips and chest while remaining not too low cut or short so appropriate you figured to be just another guest in a bar and not someone begging for attention, you fixed your makeup adding to what you were already wearing and returned to the waiting room to pack up your laptop and notes. Stepping back into the room you heard a soft whistle.

"Each dress makes you look more enchanting than the last" Felix smiled, taking your hand and twirling you.

"Thank you Felix, I thought I should look a bit more expensive since I'm spending a week here, don't want to make the place look shabby" you grinned feeling thrilled with his compliment.

"You always look beautiful" Felix reassured "and San is a lucky boy tonight getting to spend his time with you, we are all very jealous he whispered leaning in as though he was telling you secret information.

"I doubt I'm that interesting to him Felix" you chuckled, feeling warmth spreading through you at his words and the feeling of his breath on your skin.

"I was wondering if you wanted to get another coffee tomorrow? Before you have to come in to work some more" He asked softly without the host bravado that he showed out on the floors above.

"I would like that very much" you nodded, catching your bottom lip in your teeth as nerves suddenly set into your stomach.

"Can I have your number to text you so we can organize it?" he continued smoothly, seeming more confident at your reaction, handing you his phone you added your details and gave it back to him quickly. "Can I escort you out to find San?" he offered easily, his arm already in position for you to take.

"Thank you Felix" you grinned, taking his arm and allowing him to lead you out into the bar. 

San stood casually by the bar and appeared to be scanning the room for you as his eyes stopped on you the moment you appeared with Felix, smiling at him nervously you made your way over to him only for Felix to lean in and whisper something in his ear before turning his attention back to you.

"Enjoy your evening Miss R" he grinned cheekily allowing San to take his place at your side moving back into the crowd you assumed to tend to his own booked guest.

"You look gorgeous Miss R" San drawled softly his arm slipping behind you to guide you towards the stairs "We will be heading up to level 3 tonight so that I can thoroughly indulge your every whim"

"Thank you San" you almost blushed at the seductive tone his voice had taken on "you look very attractive yourself". With his arm wrapped protectively around your waist he led you to and from the elevator into the booth that had been arranged for you, it seemed to be further back towards the bar which seemed to give off the illusion of even more privacy as he pulled the curtains around you after helping you into the booth. The deep red velvet absorbing the outside noise enough for you to almost feel like you were alone with San.

Reaching just behind you, San pushed a discreet button which summoned a waiter with a bottle of chilled wine and San discreetly thanked him before pouring you a glass.

"So Miss R, tell me about you, tell me about what you have always wanted" San smiled one eyebrow raised

"You know about my job already San" you blinked wondering where he was going with this.

"Not your job, about what you want in life, kitten your future" he chuckled softly, his eyes trained on you with a softness that made you feel safe.

"I want to be a serious journalist, it’s still pretty male dominated in the world of journalism and women don’t seem to get a look in when it comes to crime reporting or heavier news. We are always left with lifestyle and beauty and I want more than that” you answered sincerely letting your guard down a little knowing that San wouldn’t admonish you for having aspirations.

“Aren’t you a serious journalist now? Looking into the seedy underbelly of hosting?” he smiled slyly leaning back into the plush velvet seat back and extending his arm behind you.

“That’s not what this is San, and you know it” you almost sighed knowing that he was only playing his role.

“I know but you are still taking your job seriously and working diligently on this editorial, I know your work will be noticed, how could it not be?” he encouraged, letting his arm drop from the top of the seat to sitting comfortably around your waist. You shivered unintentionally at his touch even through the layers of fabric that separated your skin, it was becoming very clear why Chan’s hosts were as in demand as they were.

“What do you want to do in your life, San?” you tilted your head to look at him through your fluffy eyelashes. 

“Being a host can have a short shelf life depending on how good you are” he explained gesturing around you both “you have more options if you move into a more companion business but it's not guaranteed” he shrugged casually as he finished topping up your glass.

“Companionship?” you knew it was probably a dumb question but you had to ask.

“Escorting” he chuckled watching your face change to one of understanding “guys like Chan or Minho will stay handsome well into their 30s and 40s so they can continue the work for as long as they like. But hosts have to be young to flatter the woman seeing them that's part of the fantasy”.

“So is escorting the plan then?” You questioned breezily hoping it wouldn't come across as an interview.

“Maybe, or I could open my own place” he smirked cheekily “would you visit me if I did?”

“San!” you fake gasped clutching invisible pearls at your throat “how scandalous”. You dissolved into giggles that were helped along by the bubbles you were drinking.

“Well I'll take that as a yes” he laughed heartily, shifting himself closer to your side and another waiter appeared through the curtain to deliver another bottle of wine. “What else do you have planned for your life? It can’t be all work and no play?” 

“I want to travel. I want to see as much of the world as I can. So Paris, Milan, Prague, Rio, Nepal I want to see everything. But mostly I want to find someone who won't push me into a life I don't want" you replied slowly each thought coming out of your mouth without being filtered by your better judgment as the rapport you felt with San felt real even if that was just the alcohol and his excellent acting.

"I would love to travel too" San nodded, "I would love to see the world with you" , his sly smile feeling very flirty as you sipped from your glass.

"With me?" you blinked the wine making its way through your system and removing a little more of your inhibitions.

"Of course a beautiful woman like you should be fed dessert in fancy restaurants, doted on completely while shopping and being bought every single thing that brings you joy, and worshiped nightly in every place you wanted to stay. How could any man not want to be the one giving you that life" San purred, sliding himself closer to you so he was now touching you with the whole side of his body, the warmth from his chest seeping through his suit and into you "I couldn't think of a more enjoyable way to spend my time than making love to you in moonlight in Paris or Prague".

You swallowed hard, your surprise was probably obvious to San but after a moment you remembered this was an act, San was being paid to charm you and say all the right things. Once again he topped up your glass, when he lent closer to speak to you his breath fanned across your skin giving you goosebumps at the thought.

"You are very good at this San" you smiled, turning slightly more towards him.

"But not that good as you can still see what I'm doing" he chuckled, breaking the sexy character slightly and showing the more playful side that you had already met.

"I wouldn't say that I was very swept up" you admitted softly making him grin further "But I should be letting you get back to actual paying guests".

"Stay just a little longer no unnecessary flirting I promise" San faux pouted before breaking into a grin.

"Oh no don't pout like that I can't say no to that face" you giggled the wine now making you feel a little less professional and a little more cheeky.

"Ah I found a weakness" he almost crowed proudly "I will have to make sure the following guys know".

"You wouldn't betray me like that would you San" you pouted in return trying not to laugh as his eyes widened at your reaction.

"You are not meant to get upset" he whined as you melted into giggles.

"Happily tipsy looks very, very good on you" San quipped once again leaning back into the plush fabric of the booth.

"You're being paid to say that" you challenged, raising your eyebrow at him before leaning towards him "It's nice to be flattered though".

"I'm not being paid to tell you the truth I'm paid to make a fantasy and this isn't fantasy" San replied honestly as a new waiter reappeared with a tray containing several dishes that you weren't expecting San instantly picked up on your confusion his pretty laugh filling the booth "Chan wanted you to have a full experience and with our level of host that includes dinner so he ordered for you, I hope that is alright".

"Of course he did" you rolled your eyes making San's laughter continue "that man knows no limits when it comes to flaunting the sense of opulence does he?".

"He does but he wants to make sure you can write a proper review and that is worth every cent to him" San's eyes were still crinkled into attractive little moons.

"I do appreciate where he is coming from but surely he knows I am writing a favorable editorial by now" you continued watching San carefully watching for any sort of tell to show he was being disingenuous.

"I'll be honest I figured you would stop staying after the opening hours if you hated it. Just do your interviews then leave" he shrugged carefully, portioning a fork full of lobster that he then brought to your mouth to try, his other hand hovering under your chin to catch anything that might fall. Strangely enough you found yourself opening your mouth for him to place the lobster against your tongue before grinning at you.

"I forget you are all strangely perceptive about women" you lopsidedly grinned savoring the delicious buttery taste “Is feeding me also part of the experience?”

"It's all part of the deal kitten" San laughed lightly winking at you for dramatic effect. You ate the rest of the meal chatting with San about anything and everything before letting him lead you back downstairs where he told you Chan had arranged a car to get you home, because Chan really did think of everything.

Waking slowly, after having more drinks in the past week than you were used to, you were very happy to write the rest of your editorial, you had everything you were going to need you would just add a few bits and pieces about the experiences that Chan had decided to give you but the rest, including the photographs, was now ready to be fully drafted and read over by one of your editors. You attached the draft to an email saying that there was still one more page that needed to be done but that they could go over the first few and the photos that Chan had graciously provided to make sure that it was what they were looking for before you started getting ready for your day and your potential coffee catch up with Felix. 

Getting together your outfit for the day and choosing your outfit for that night was a very strange experience. You had been dressing yourself with a little more care to spend your days looking as nice as you possibly could but picking your outfit for the evenings had so far been a little daunting, it was a need to look the part of the patron so that everything looked normal to anyone who viewed you in Club 143 but also wanting to look attractive and even a little sexy just because you wanted to see how whoever you were paired with would react. Each outfit had been a little more daring; the emerald dress you had been far more form fitting around your chest, the blue had flattered your figure making you feel more womanly and tonight’s outfit was a form fitting silky burgundy dress with fine straps and a low cut back and a slit up the thigh. 

Arriving at Club 143 after lunch you had still not heard from Felix but it didn’t really surprise you he had been booked out every single night you had been there to observe and he must have been needing to catch up on sleep. You continued through the bar waving to the staff you had already seen several times and making your way to Chan’s office to drop off your things before making yourself comfortable in the normal corner of the waiting room. It was still quiet none of the hosts had arrived yet and you passed the time talking to the bar staff and writing up thoughts that you could flesh out later about the next level of host experience, even though you were yet to find out who you were going to be paired with. Chan arrived two hours later and waved as he passed you talking on the phone to someone before entering his office and closing the door.

“All by yourself again?” a very familiar voice asked from the doorway behind you.

“I guess I am Felix, how was your night?” You smiled to yourself before turning your head towards him.

“It was work-like” he shrugged, plopping himself down in the chair opposite you.

“Is that a good thing or a bad thing?” you mused furrowing your eyebrows as you took in his appearance, he was still beautiful as ever but his eyes looked a little more downcast than you had seen them before.

“Both I guess” he sighed “It was profitable but it was just going through the motions, some nights are just more routine than others although I rarely have interesting ones” he admitted, his eyes flicking downwards before making contact with yours again.

“I never really thought about how all this must just be a day at the office for you guys, not everyday being enjoyable, some just tedious” you frowned slightly, the few glimpses you had been given of the darker side of the job were very unappealing to you.

“It’s not that any of us hate it” Felix countered “It’s just that it can get monotonous the same vapid women, the same fake interactions, the same facade over and over again but there are always going to have perks most of the time it's very easy to still see the attractive woman underneath who just wants to feel worshiped but sometimes you do come across women who you cannot find a single good quality about”.

“Hmm” you hummed not really knowing what to say. It made you feel a bit awful that there were nights that he had to pretend to feel attracted to someone and then have sex with them even though he had no interest in them.

“Let's talk about something else” he smiled trying to pick the mood back up “maybe we should have that coffee now” 

“Sure” you nodded hoping you would be able to perhaps make him feel a little better. Felix got up and went towards the kitchens to ask them for coffee you assumed and you were back to being alone saving your notes for later you decided to perhaps email Chan a draft copy of what you had written but he was still in his office so you didn’t want to disturb his work. Felix returned and offered his hand to you.

“Come on, follow me” with a mischievous glimmer in his eye you took his hand and allowed him to lead you to the elevator where he quickly swiped his key card before hitting the button to the fifth floor.

“Felix, where are you taking me?” you whispered a small smile tugging at the corners of your lips.

“Do you trust me?” he grinned impishly, not giving you any further explanation.

“Yes” you answered instantly, surprising even yourself by your own admission.

“Then you will see when we get there” he teased stepping closer to you. The door dinged and opened showing you the navy blue hallway that Can had shown you once before. Taking your hand in his again he beckoned you to follow him until he stopped at door 3, the room you had already seen briefly. “I’m not breaking any rules in showing you the room you have already seen” he soothed after noticing the slight trepidation in your eyes.

“You can read everything about me can’t you?” you contemplated following him into the room where there were already two hot coffees and two pieces of cake waiting for you in the lounge area of the large room.

“Not everything which is why you are so interesting” Felix clarified “Your honesty is what masks things from us, we all find it fascinating that you can see through the act without much trouble but also never judge us or behave as though you are better than us”.

“That’s because I am not better than you” you uttered feeling a little confused “I’m just a person like you Felix, like all the guys that work here”. You sat at one end of the lounge opposite him taking your cup and sipping from it.

“That right there is why every host here wants to have their five minutes to talk to you” he grinned toothily “A few sentences and you make us all feel better about a world of different things”.

“You are being too kind” you argued softly.

“You are selling yourself short” he shot back the dazzling smile still on his face “We had several media sources wanting to cover this opening mostly because it aligns them with the powerful women who come here whether they are CEO’s in their own right or the wives and girlfriends of powerful men. All of them spoke with Chan but you were the only one who didn’t speak down to him as though he was just another whore. You treated Chan with respect and with honest interest which is why your publication got the job”. Felix’s explanation hit you like a truck. You had been the one to volunteer for the position to pitch the editorial and also write it when your boss had mentioned it and your coworkers had seemed to have no interest but you hadn’t realized that there were other media companies vying for the same editorial.

“Who else did he speak to?” you asked concerned that maybe the job would have been done better by one of your competitors and Chan had only settled for you.

“SM Media Inc, KQ Publishing, YG Multimedia Co. None of them would have done as good a job as you” he shrugged again eating a mouthful of cake.

“Well I’m pleased he wanted me for the job. I'll send him the article before it’s published so he can go over it” you nodded slowly considering how you would get away with changing the editorial you had already sent in for viewing if he hated it. Felix laughed heartily, he seemed to be taking great pleasure in watching the cogs move around in your head.

“So tell me what else you do in your life Felix? I want to know something you have not told me yet” you smirked, making him stop laughing and turn serious again.

Returning back downstairs you found that half a dozen other hosts had arrived including Hyunjin who blew you a kiss as you walked past him, and also that Chan had emerged from his office. He stood from behind his desk and wandered into the waiting room as he noticed you pass by his office doorway

“So I realized that it might be a better idea to let you choose who you would like for your last host experience” Chan smiled kindly watching you take a seat and log yourself back into your laptop to continue working.

“Oh really? I assumed it would be whoever didn't have a booking” you blinked looking at him with curiosity as he continued over to where you were sitting.

“Well if I asked for volunteers I think Hyunjin would have fallen over himself to put his name down, and I'll admit I wouldn't mind it being me either but it should be your choice so you are totally comfortable” he continued a slight glint in his eye making you unsure if he was teasing you or not while Hyunjin nodded vigorously just behind him

“Well who have you decided I'll be seeing tonight?” you raised your eyebrow at him.

“Tonight you're with yours truly” he grinned smugly, making Hyunjin and Seungmin roll their eyes in unison.

“Let me think about it then” you smiled, laughter coloring your voice as you began typing up a few more notes.

“Booking is at 9 Miss R” he chuckled, heading back towards his office door.

“I won’t be late” you called after him.

You started changing at 8 o’clock sharpe so that you would have enough time to get your hair and makeup sorted as well as changing. Chan was nowhere to be seen so you assumed he was out on one of the floors or entertaining another guest which allowed you to take your time. When you finally emerged it was almost time for you to meet him so you opened his office door and stepped into the waiting room.

“Woah!” Jeongin whistled, looking you up and down slowly.

“Thank you Jeongin” you flushed slightly, your hands moving to smooth invisible wrinkles in the fabric.

“Would you like an escort to find Chan?” he offered a wide smile, his eyes turning into pleasant little moons as he offered his arm to you.

“Actually, yes please” you breathed knowing that he would probably see your nerves if you tried to hide them.

“You don’t need to be nervous Miss R. Chan doesn’t bite unless you ask him to and even then you would need to ask nicely” Jeongin joked trying to alleviate your fears.

I’ll try to remember that for the editorial then” you laughed lightly feeling slightly better.

Stepping onto the level 4 with Jeongin was a little odd. You could still see Changbin and Han entertaining two girls who looked like sisters in one booth and Minho leading his client towards another booth. The curtains of two others were pulled closed already meaning they were full but all the others were only half closed or still empty. 

“Here you go Miss R, step this way” Jeongin pulls aside one of the half pulled curtains to reveal Chan in all his glory leaning against the side of the booth watching the empty portions of the room.

“Not even a second late” Chan chuckled, offering you his hand to take as Jeongin winked at you before leaving. Helping you to get comfortably seating he moved to pull the curtain closed giving you a single glimpse of Felix who was looking straight at you, eyes wide, and distinctly not at the woman beside him who looked every bit the beautiful and rich CEO, his slight frown before the curtain separated you leaving you with an odd feeling in the pit of your stomach.

“So gorgeous, are you ready for me?” Chan’s velvety voice surrounded you like honey as you turned your face towards him. You had obviously spent time with Chan, you had even seen the professional photos that they had all had taken but it hit you like a lightning strike just how easy it would be to be wooed by him in this setting.

“You look devine tonight” he purred, sliding a little closer to you, watching you closely he slowly took your hand to kiss the inside of your wrist “you also don’t need to be nervous”.

“I was told you wouldn’t bite unless I asked you nicely” you tilted your head to gauge his reaction.

“For you I would do anything if you asked me nicely or not” you raised one eyebrow almost challengingly making you swallow hard and your eyes widened slightly.

“Good to know” you breathed a flush creeping across your cheeks.

“I was told by a reputable source that you like sweet things” he continued with a teasing smile gracing his handsome face as a waiter appeared with a tray of cocktails “so I took some liberties and ordered you some dessert”.

Placing down two cocktails you could see quite obviously that Chan had asked the others what you had drank, eaten and spoken about because the chocolate martini that was for you was very close to a favorite drink of yours.

“Thank you Chan” you whispered, picking up your glass to sip at it, your mouth suddenly very dry.

“I also heard you do not want to be placed in a cage” his dark cinnamon eyes made you feel like he could see into your soul.

“San has loose lips it seems” you added the corners of your mouth twitching as his grin increased.

“No, I am just incredibly persuasive when it comes to you” he advised sipping his own drink which to you looked very much the opposite of your drink. Chan seemed very good at keeping you somewhere between flustered and hypnotized but after a few more moments your brain caught up.

“I can see the difference now, from level three to level 4” you admitted coyly relaxing your posture slightly “San was particularly good but you are exceptional at this”. Chan faulted slightly before breaking into a breathtaking grin.

“I have to say you are quite remarkable at seeing through the act, it’s a bit of a rare gift” he hummed approvingly “Had to admit it’s a little bit of a turn on actually”. You coughed as you almost inhaled your drink at his words making him chuckle at you.

“Did you actually say that or did I imagine that?” you sniffed trying to regain your composure.

“No I said it, Hyunjin told me it was a completely different feeling watching you see straight through our usual way of working and I get now why he wanted to take you upstairs” Chan divulged “San let me know that you were the most fun he has had so far and you seem to have bewitched our little Felix”. Your jaw dropped slightly allowing Chan to slide closer to you lifting one finger to shut it again for you his fingers then moving to grasp your chin gently tilting your face towards his. It felt magnetic like you were being drawn closer to him every second but the illusion was shattered when you heard a loud shrill laugh from somewhere outside the curtained bubble you were in.

“I think perhaps I need another drink” you murmured as Chan dropped his hand away from you. He tilted his head slightly and a waiter appeared as if summoned, although you were sure CHan was just more subtle about the button to call the staff than San.

“Can we have another round and bring dessert this time please” Chan instructed smoothly not moving away from you instead slipping out of his jacket, leaving him in only a black shirt with no tie.

“The drink isn’t dessert then?” you mused, thinking he had been mentioning the sweet drink earlier.

“No I have something far more substantial for you, after all I need to leave a sweet taste in your mouth from the experience” he flirted effortlessly knowing that the choice of words would push you just a little.

“Still hoping I’ll come back after this editorial is done then?” you teased back knowingly

“Oh I have no doubt you will come back, I’m hoping to sway you to come back to level 3 or 4” he cheekily retorted, his dimples shining.

“Well Mr Bang that all depends on what you have got for me?” you giggled as the waiter reappeared and stopped Chan’s comeback in its tracks. Placing down another martini for you excused himself to collect the rest of Chan’s request. Moments later he reappeared with a tray full of what looked like chocolate truffles and strawberries dusted with gold flakes.

“As with San last night I like to go all out” Chan grinned like a cat that got the cream “We get these in from France they are made with the finest Swiss chocolate and the best French champagne”. He lifted one off the tray and brought it to your lips which you opened keeping your eyes locked on his. He was right they were the most delicious chocolate you had ever eaten and you were quite alright with the idea of sitting drinking your martini with him feeding you, but you assumed that was due to the rather strong cocktail you had already drunk and the one you were about to start. You continued chatting to Chan a little more casually after he started hand feeding you strawberries and chocolate until you had accidentally had a third martini and your head was actually fuzzy.

“Would you like another drink or would you like something else?” Chan murmured sensually his lips only inches from your ear.

“I think I’m good” you smiled lazily, enjoying the warmth of his breath on your neck.

“I’m sure you are very good gorgeous, but that wasn’t what I meant” he quipped leaning in closer so his lips brushed your earlobe making you involuntarily shudder “I love that you are so eager to please, such a perfect little tease”.

Your brain wasn’t fast enough to react with wit instead opting to just hum and let him get even closer to you, being ever the gentleman Chan gave you time to respond between each gentle touch of his fingers running down you bare back, each brush of his lips against your skin until you were almost embarrassingly pliant.

“Tell me to stop and I will, gorgeous” he whispered huskily in your ear before actually pressing his lips to your neck making you gasp softly turning your head toward him. Following the line of your jaw Chan kissed his way to you lips each one slightly more passionate than the last until his lips pressed against yours. His soft plump lips felt stupidly good against your own especially when he dragged your bottom lip between them using his teeth and making you sigh with pleasure, his tongue traced the seam of your lips teasing you and hoping you would allow entrance which you did too caught up in the moment and the alcohol to be thinking quick enough to stop yourself. 

“Mmm… wait Chan stop” you slurred slightly as he broke away from your lips to kiss his way to your earlobe, your brain finally registering what you were doing. To his immense credit Chan did stop instantly removing not only his lips and hands from you but also sliding away from you so you were no longer touching.

“I apologize” he replied instantly “I didn't mean to overstep”.

“You didn’t, not really, I’m just a little too drunk for this to be a good idea” you admitted trying to shift the alcohol from your brain so you could think better.

“I will get you a car home” Chan smiled genuinely, his eyes shining with something that looked a little like admiration and a little like affection.

“Thank you” you swallowed as Chan moved to help you stand from the booth, steadying you by wrapping his arm around your waist as he walked you to the elevator. Moving past the tables you saw the booth that Felix was in earlier still occupied which gave you a strange sense of relief that he was still on this floor and not the one above but that was shattered we the curtain opened and you saw him, his arms wrapped around his patron feeding her strawberries the same way Chan had fed them to you. You looked away quickly hoping that both Chan and Felix would not notice but you had a feeling that Chan already had as he pulled you slightly tighter against his side as the elevator doors opened stepping inside you turned towards the closing doors to see Felix’s face fall as his eyes landed on you for the brief moment before the door separated you both.

Chan led you to his office to collect your things, easily carrying both your bags on one of his arms making sure you were stable enough to not hurt yourself. He mentioned to the driver that he was to escort you into the building and help you with your bags before taking your hand in his and kissing your knuckles.

“We will see you tomorrow Ms R” he beamed, helping you with your seatbelt even though it was unnecessary.

“But we haven’t talked about tomorrow’s host experience” you protested, suddenly aware that you hadn’t even discussed the topic properly yet. You felt yourself flush, hoping that Chan wouldn't notice it over the pink already dusting your cheeks from the alcohol you had been drinking.

“Good thing I had already put him aside for you then” his eyes twinkled as he spoke and his dimples were on full display.

“What?” You stammered “I haven’t told you yet”.

“I know, Felix asked to host you if you requested him and I figured you would. You seem to have already formed an attachment to each other” He continued before chuckling.

“Goodnight Chan'' you mumbled a tad embarrassed that you were so transparent to him.

“Goodnight Miss R” Chan replied teasingly, shutting the door and allowing the driver to take you home.

The following morning was not as pleasant as the previous few mornings, you woke up nursing a headache and a mortifying recollection of embarrassing events where you had almost let yourself take things too far with Chan then practically told him of your little crush on Felix, which you realized the night before was exactly that, a crush, there was no way that you would ever entertain the idea that a grown woman like yourself would end up with a silly little crush on a man you were writing about. It was the least professional thing you had ever done and now you needed to turn up at the same place that he worked and face not only him but his boss who knew about it. You needed to distract yourself. You needed coffee and something sweet for breakfast then perhaps you would feel better.

You washed up and got dressed into a simple shirt and jeans before venturing out for the sustenance you needed to help with your predicament. You knew deep down you hadn’t actually done anything wrong, the host experience is to sell a fantasy of feeling loved or desired or more often than not both and that every single one of Chan’s hosts lived up to that. Each fantasy they created absolutely made you feel that the average woman they saw would have been totally swept off her feet by them. You, once tipsy, were almost swept up in it too so you knew they were good, you knew they were worth the money but still a little part of you was sad it was all just a fantasy and potentially the hosts themselves were not as happy as they seemed.

Your constant thoughts had made you almost miss the door to the cafe you were heading to. It was almost a twenty minute walk from your apartment but the coffee was so good you would happily make the trip. Moving your way through the few filled tables you found yourself an empty seat and sat down looking through your phone as you waited to order. The quiet chatter and the smell of freshly ground coffee gave you some much needed comfort after your order was taken sitting staring into space. You barely registered your phone's message alert, checking it you noticed it was from an unknown number, you frowned but opened it anyway.

 Hey. It’s Felix, are you alright after last night? I saw you leave the floor with Chan so I wanted to check in.

 You read it twice to make sure you had read it correctly then smiled of course the first text he sent you and it’s asking about your welfare, he was too sweet for his own good and that was the problem. He was otherworldly beautiful and far too sweet which of course is what made him so successful as a host, but it also made him too attractive to you. Sighing you thought about how you would reply you didn’t want to sound like it was a flippant thing given he was concerned but you didn’t want him to think the worse either.

Hi Felix, I’m ok just nursing a little bit of a headache but I’ll be fine by the time I head in this afternoon. I hope you had a successful night.

You put your phone down to concentrate on the pancakes that had been delivered to you. The sugar and dough no doubt likely to help with how you felt you would just need to remember to pace yourself a little bit better tonight.

That’s great, I’m glad you’re feeling alright. I know Chan has a tendency to be a little intense sometimes, especially on the 5th floor. I saw on my schedule you're with me tonight so I’ll do my best to keep you entertained :) 

You stopped completely, almost dropping your fork, as you looked over the message coughing when some of the pancake you were eating went down the wrong way. Felix had assumed you had gone upstairs and had sex with Chan. Your stomach dropped, you didn’t want any of them thinking that you had, but especially Felix, because you hadn’t. Sipping some water you blinked the stray moisture from your eyes that the coughing fit had caused and pressed the call button.

“Sorry to call Felix but this is easier to explain than text” you blurted as soon as he answered his phone.

“That’s fine Miss R, you sound stressed, are you sure you feel well?” he asked, his voice sounding concerned against the noise in the background of his surroundings. 

“I really am fine, just a headache, but I had to correct you. I didn't go to level 5 last night. I got a little too tipsy and Chan took me downstairs to put me in a car to get me home. I swear nothing happened with Chan” You explained your tone at a higher pitch than normal making you sip your water again to soothe your throat.

“It’s fine if you did, I wouldn’t judge you for that the way you don’t judge me” Felix reassured you, sounding almost relieved if you were honest with yourself. You let out a large breath making him chuckle slightly.

“I didn’t want you to think the wrong thing that’s all but about tonight Chan told me that I would be able to be in with you since you had an opening which I was surprised about actually” you admitted shyly a flush decorating your neck as you spoke.

“Oh you requested me then” he teased sweetly “Well I’m happy to be your first pick and I’m glad I had an opening”.

“I will see you tonight then Felix” you added not knowing what else to say.

“You will Miss R” he replied, hanging up instantly and leaving you staring at your phone. God, you felt even more embarrassed calling him to assure him you hadn’t had sex with anyone, in public, when he didn’t even seem to mind. You finished your breakfast quickly before returning home so you could overthink every word you had said over the past week while you picked out the final outfit from your closet for your final night at Club 143.

You settled on the outfit that most made you think of Felix a black off the shoulder mini dress with a flippy hem, like the one you had tried on in the department store the morning you had run into him, and simple black pumps. You decided you would just add some winged eyeliner to your everyday look and maybe some bolder lipstick to take it from regular working to host experience working and hoped it would be enough to make a slight impression on Felix so that he would at least potentially remember you after the night was over and you had left his life. Furrowing your brow you looked at yourself in the mirror your bag packed behind you on the bed to change and your simple jeans and a square necked top you were utterly plain compared to every single host you had met, and although they had all been sweet and accommodating during the past week with them you couldn’t help feel a little sad it was over. You did suppose that Chan had a point you could always just attend Club 143 as a patron you didn’t need to buy their time you could always just say hello in passing and pretend that it was enough, pretend it didn’t feel strange that they pretended so well to almost become friends to actually not be at all.

Collecting your bags you made your way back to work taking the slow and scenic way wandering the neighboring streets to see what else was around. Finally making your way into the main entrance you were greeted like you had been before by Chan’s bar and floor staff before entering into the staff area to set up your laptop with the final bits of writing you would need to add. It was later than you normally showed up and Chan was in his office with several of his elite hosts so you just bypassed his office for now. Your editor had sent back a few tweaks for you to make to the editorial but was overall quite supportive and approving of what you had come up with so it was just finishing up the experience with San and writing out Chan’s before finishing it all tomorrow and submitting it. For the final draft stages. You started typing, noting to yourself to add a head shot of both San and Yunho to hopefully further their customer base as a thank you for their time, only to hear a huge roar of laughter from Chan’s office making you jump. 

“Miss R” Seungmin sang as he wandered out of the office towards you. “Could you join us for a moment?”.

“Of course Seungmin” you eyed him warily, making him waggle his eyebrows at you “what are you getting me into?”.

“Nothing bad. We just want to go over last night with you” he grinned his eyes sparkling with mischief.

“Well shit” you sighed, standing slowly and following him into Chan’s office. 

“We were just talking about your date with Chan” Seungmin started as you stepped through the door.

“Yeah and how you disappeared with our dear boss” Hyunjin grinned, making you look at the ceiling for help.

“Chan claims he cannot kiss and tell, but we are pretty sure we know where you ended up” Changbin teased, looking from you to Chan.

“Really? And where was that?” you mocked his tone slightly making Chan grin and Minho laugh loudly.

“Upstairs of course” Hyunjin whispered, shouting dramatically as though he was helping you jog your memory, making Changbin snicker.

“Really? Because I’m pretty sure upstairs looks nothing like the inside of a car. Or my apartment block for that matter” you replied dryly, making Chan and Seungmin laugh while Hyunjin’s jaw dropped and Changbin looked confused.

“Felix said he saw you getting in the lift with Chan and that Chan gave a thumbs up” Changbin argued as though you didn’t know where you had been.

“Felix did see me get in the elevator, but you do know that elevators go both up and down” you tried to hold in a laugh at the indignant look on Changbin’s face.

“So you didn’t go upstairs with Chan?” Hyunjin repeated.

“I did not” you laughed “How much money did you have riding on that?”.

“More than they should have” Chan smirked as Hyunjin opened and closed his mouth a few times.

‘Can I finish my editorial now? Or did we need to discuss the sex I didn’t have with Chan further?” you raised your eyebrows waiting for one of them to answer.

“You go back to work Miss R” Chan smiled “I think Hyunjin will be bringing you a coffee in a little while”.

“Aw thank you Hyunjin” you grinned, walking back to your chair and going back to what you needed to get done. Still having the occasional giggle about the conversation you just had.

By the time the other hosts started appearing and it was time for you to start getting ready you were beginning to get nervous. An elite host experience Chan had called it and it was exclusive to only those willing to pay a small fortune to spend time in private with a host of their choice. Felix would probably meet you out in the bar like you had done with San since you were heading straight up to level five and bypassing the other host floors. There would be dinner and you would have Felix all to yourself for the whole night which was a huge amount of time compared to the other experiences Chan had his hosts offer. Closing down your laptop you packed away all of your work items and moved towards Chan’s office to change.

“Am I able to use your office again to get changed or are you still busy?” you enquired sticking your head into his office where he was sitting at his desk already decked out in his deep gray suit. Chan got up and walked over to you taking your work bag from your hands and placing it beside his desk

"Sure and what color are you wearing tonight? just out of interest" Chan smirked stepping out into the staff area.

"Black" Felix answered for you before you could say a word, his voice surrounding you like smoke.

"How did you know I bought a black dress?" you turn towards his voice, your eyes widening the moment you saw him in his satin black suit jacket looking like a model straight off the catwalk.

"Oh I didn't know that I just knew what I bought" he smiled dazzlingly, holding out a large white gift bag tied with a deep red ribbon.

"I don't understand" you mumble, your brow creasing in confusion looking at the bag before he took hold of your hand and placed the handles of the bag in your palm, closing your fingers around it.

"You didn't think you could try on that dress and look that good and I wouldn't insist you wear it?" He smirked, leaning forward and lowering his voice.

"You didn't!" you squealed loudly as he laughed and wandered out into the bar you guessed so he was out of the room before you could argue back.

"What dress are we talking about?" Chan asked, perplexed, his eyes scanning the bag for a label.

"Oh is that the McQueen one? Felix said she looked a million dollars is that one" Hyunjin grinned following Felix's trail through the room and stopping beside you.

“No!...he’s not allowed to do that…fuck where did he go?” you scoffed while still holding the bag.

“He is and he did” Hyunjin winked at you “Now go put the dress on so I can see if he was right”. You gave a resigned sigh you knew this would be a battle you would never win. Too many rich boys with too much money was always going to end in stupid decisions like buying dresses for women they barely knew because they could.

Turning silently you went into Chan’s office and shut the door but not before hearing Hyunjin announce loudly that you were about to knock their socks off so they should all wait around for a bit. You unwrapped the dress carefully, trying to not mess up the ribbon or the tissue paper it was wrapped so beautifully in, your fingers caressing the silk that you had already tried on and secretly loved but had thought you would never in a million years own. Your eyes stung slightly as a stray tear fought to make its way free of your eye, Felix’s gesture proving that his kindness and sweetness knew no bounds and that you and your little crush were doomed to an inevitable heartbreak at the end of the night. Slipping out of your clothes and into the dress you remembered you were going to struggle with the zip again.

“Hyunjin?” you called through the door

“Yes princess” he called back obviously just outside the door.

“Who is waiting out there with you?” you asked as sweetly as you could.

“Oh! There is Chan, Minho, Hongjoon, San, Yunho, Seungmin and of course me” he listed off.

“Excellent” you popped your head out of the door “San can you help me with the zipper please?” you smiled as he grinned and stood up immediately.

“Wait, I can help” Hyunjin protested.

“I know, but I asked San” you quipped as San moved past Hyunjins disappointed face and into the room with you.

“You look exquisite” San whispered appreciatively as you turned around, his fingers easily sliding the zipper up your back.

“Thank you San” you smiled genuinely as you turned back to face him.

“Felix is a lucky, lucky man” he smiled lopsidedly before slipping back out of the room which caused Hyunjin to protest all over again.

You fixed your makeup and took a steadying breath, your nerves were now sky high but you knew there was no turning back now so you stepped out of Chan's office and into a room filled with silence, except for San’s whistle. 

“You look incredible” Chan grinned, taking your hand and kissing your knuckles.

“Thank you Chan” you smiled while worrying your lower lip slightly between your teeth.

“You look far better than just a million dollars” Hyunjin whispered reverently, his eyes wide.

“You are going to make me blush if you keep complimenting me” you shuffled on your feet slightly. 

“Can I escort you out to meet Felix?” Yunho interrupted getting in before any of the others could say anything else.

“That would be amazing, Yunho” you grinned at him as he raced across the room to take your hand and place it in the crook of his arm. You didn’t feel any different stepping out of the staff area into the bar, it was the same as every other evening the difference was going to be when you came face to face with Felix.

“You don’t need to be nervous” Yunho muttered trying to hide he was speaking to you from prying eyes “Felix won’t do anything you don’t want him to, and there is no expectation on you” his hand squeezed yours where it sat in the crease of his elbow “I didn’t even know you could get nervous”.

“Funny Yunho, I’m not immune to everything” you whispered in reply knowing he was right everything that would happen tonight would be the same as all the previous nights you had spent in the club. The ball was entirely in your court. 

Yunho walked you to the entrance where Felix stood waiting for you, several women trying to get his attention but being politely declined until his eyes landed on you.

“Excuse me ladies, my queen awaits” he smiled graciously, walking towards you and Yunho. Yunho for all his imposing presence disappeared effortlessly into the crowd as Felix stepped into your space to take your hand moving it to his lips to kiss the inside of your wrist softly.

“Felix” you smiled coyly, making his perfect face light up as he moved to wrap his arm around your waist to lead you to the elevator.

“You look bewitching” he breathed in your ear making you shiver against him which seemed to only encourage him into pulling you tighter against him. Virtually every woman in the bar watched you with envy at being beside him.

“You look incredibly handsome yourself” you replied feeling more comfortable now that you were with Felix again. He grinned as he stepped into the elevator swiping his card to get you to the exclusive fifth floor starting what you knew would be a once in a lifetime night.

“Chan made sure you had seen one room when he gave you the tour so now I can show you a second” Felix broke the silence between you.

“Did you pick which room you would show me?” you tilted your head to look at his profile.

“Yes, because it's a particular favorite of nearly all of us hosts” he admitted, easily meeting your eyes.

“A favorite as in it makes you guys a lot of money or favorite as you guys actually like being in that room?” you teased gently 

“We like being in this room, it's the easiest to make comfortable for clients who perhaps aren’t interested in certain things” he carefully explained letting you know before you even reached the room that there would be no pressure on you.

“Good to know” you beamed as the elevator door opened to the navy blue hallway. Taking your hand he led you down the hallway passing door number three and leading you to door number 8. Unlocking the door he allowed you to step inside the room first letting you take in your surroundings before wrapping his arms smoothly around you from behind.

The room was the opposite of what you expected it wasn’t some overly ostentatious room styled after a luxury hotel room instead the blue and gold continued only instead of navy blue it was more of a deep teal blue with antique gold light fixtures and dark coloured furniture but the main focal point was the dozen upon dozens of candles flickering on almost every surface in front part of the room stood a black glass table with place settings for two large floor candelabras covering the area in a romantic golden glow. Further into the room dark lounge suites and the further again a bed made up in matching teal sheets all surrounded but flickering light.

“Do you think you prefer this room?” his deep honey voice in your ear.

“Yes this room is beautiful” you replied in awe, feeling his arms squeeze you slightly before unwrapping them from you and leading you towards the table pulling out your chair for you.

“I thought rather than the normal ridiculous menu I would try something new with you” he started taking his own chair as you heard the keycard beep for the door to open revealing a waiter wheeling a food serving cart with large silver cloches covering several dishes. The waiter placed the dishes on the table and then left himself out of the room as quietly and discreetly as possible.

“New in what way?” you tilted your head looking from Felix to the covered dishes.

“I already know that your immune to the normal charm act so I figured instead of playing the part I usually would, I’ll just be me” he shrugged “ I can still give you the full experience without pretending to be something that you will see through anyway so why not have a normal dinner together like we would if this was any other normal date?”. Lifting the cloches and placing them back on the serving cart you were met with two types of pasta, Caprese salad and arancini with aioli. You realized immediately what he meant instead of ridiculous amounts of over the top food he was trying to keep you as comfortable as possible.

“This looks fantastic Felix” you grinned toothily making his shoulders relax a little more. Felix served you a little bit of everything insisting you could eat whatever you liked but you were more interested in just spending the time you had available with him.

“This is the last night you’re going to be here isn't it?” Felix enquired quietly between mouthfuls.

“For this editorial yes” you nodded, taking a sip of the white wine that Felix had chosen to go with your meal. “But I thought I might come back for a drink or two sometimes, the bar is great and it feels really safe as a woman to be in here”.

“But that is only the bar” Felix pressed you slightly “You won’t return to the hosts will you?”.

“I might, I couldn’t obviously be paying for Chan or you to entertain me, you are too pricey for a lowly journalist. But I could see San or Yunho occasionally” you admitted pulling your bottom lip between your teeth as his eyes narrowed for a fraction of a second.

“Are you interested in seeing San or Yunho again?” I know you spent time with Yunho for the editorial and you had the mid level host experience with San” he continued but you could tell he was selecting his words carefully. 

“That was just an example, someone like me could only afford the basic or mid level host experience at a place like this. It doesn't have to be either San or Yunho specifically although they are both a lot of fun” you confessed hoping that he liked that answer better.

“Oh so you would be happy to see anyone then?” he teased.

“Well I’d see you but your price tag is more than I could afford unless you take payment in other ways” you teased back making his eyes widen before he laughed, the rich deep sound sinking into your skin like the sun's warmth. 

“I’m sure we could figure something other than money out if you were interested in only seeing me” he smirked, his eyes darkening as little as he wet his lower lip.

“I thought you said you wouldn’t be playing the part tonight” you raised your eyebrow “yet here you are flirting like Hyunjin would”.

“This isn’t the facade, this is me” he confided, his voice deeper than it had been before as he stood from the table and slowly walked around to your chair pulling it away from the table so you were now facing him. “I’ve never been more serious”.

“Felix” you whispered softly, confused where this was going.

“How about I show you what I mean” he murmured leaning down he cupped your face gently angling your chin higher so you were looking into his whiskey colored eyes, his thumb gently traced along your bottom lip as he leaned in tentatively pressing his lips to yours in a featherlight kiss giving you time to pull away. When you didn’t move he smiled graciously, pressing his lips against yours again this time with a little more force allowing you to kiss him back with your hand moving to wrap around his wrist. Taking your other hand in his he helped you stand his plump lips never leaving yours, pulling you flush against him.

“Do you understand what I mean now or should I explain further?” he whispered against your lips letting you decide how much you wanted from him.

“A little more should make it crystal clear” you sighed softly you words cut off as his soft lips claiming yours tenderly once more, Felix teasing your bottom lip with his teeth until you were gasping breathlessly into the kiss, his tongue dancing with yours sensually he moved one hand around your waist to hold you to him. 

“You have no idea how badly I’ve wanted this” he smirked, pulling away from you just enough to slide his hands around you deftly gliding the zip of your dress down and watching it fall from your chest. Licking his lips as your upper body became completely exposed to him “I had never been so jealous of Hyunjin before after he said he had kissed you”. His fingers caressing your cheek while he leaned in to kiss your neck his lips softly tracing your pulse point before continuing down to your chest.

“I wanted to end Chan when he bragged about touching you, kissing you” he continued his hands cupping and lightly squeezing your breasts as he kissed his way back to your face. You couldn’t move, enjoying the feeling of his hands and lips on, your arm wrapped around his neck to keep yourself upright, carding your fingers through the hair on the back of his head..

“Neither meant anything if that helps” you whimper feeling his lips turn up against your lips as you pressed them back against his taking the initiative for the first time since Felix had touched you. 

“It does” he smirked, stepping back from you and leading you towards the bedroom area of the suite, the warmth of his hand anchoring you to him. Sitting on the bed he guided you into his lap, your skirt bunching up around your waist as you straddled his strong thighs. You kissed him again allowing him to slip his tongue between your eager lips to slide against your own in a slow dance for dominance beginning between you which he easily won as you pushed his jacket off of his shoulders to get closer to his skin. Felix let his hands roam your sides and arse encouraged you to grind yourself against him while you buried your hands in his amazingly soft hair tugging slightly as your need for him started to build, making him hum against your lips. Without much effort Felix switched your places you back now pressed against the soft mattress as he discarded his jacket and returned to kissing his way across your body, his lips left a scorching path down your chest until he reached your breasts taking one into his mouth while his hand played with the other.

“Fuck your tits are incedible” he breathed against your nipple circling the now swollen bud with his tongue as you arched against him slightly letting out a string of whiny noises “and you are so sensitive, your going to drive me mad baby”.

Your heart skipped a beat at the term of endearment that fell from his beautifully plump lips as he made his way across to your other breast giving it the same torturously pleasurable treatment. Nipping and sucking at your flesh like he was a man possessed. Moving lower he kissed his way to your belly button before hooking his fingers into the material of your dress that remained bunched around you carefully lowering it down your thighs dropping it beside the bed leaving you is just black lace underwear that he admired slowly dragging his finger along the pattern that covered your core.

“Lix” you whimpered softly your skin one fire beneath his warm touch.

“Fuck call me that again” me purred sexily closing his eyes while his fingers continues to trace across your flesh.

“Lix please” you whined watching his adam's apple bob as he swallowed hard, his head tipping back slightly seemingly turned on further by your words. Smiling wickedly he licked his lips and lowered himself between your thighs kissing the inside of one before placing a chaste kiss on your covered core making you shiver in anticipation. His smirk was covered by your mound as he began to trace the lace patterns on the small piece of fabric separating the two of you making you whimper again you were sure he could probably already feel how wet the fabric had become. His teasing continued as he unbuttoned his dress shirt stopping only for him to toss the garment behind him and pull your underwear aside his tongue gliding through your drenched folds earning you the pleasure of a deep groan falling from him before he swiped his tongue through them again collecting your essence and began eating you out as though it was going to keep him from from dying of thirst. Your whines and soft moans spurred him on as went between kitten lick to your clit and long dragging figure eights that drove you insane reaching down you grab a handful of his hair to ground yourself and making him groan loudly against you the vibrations sending you into an unexpected orgasm with a loud sob of his name.

“You taste delicious baby” he teased, moving away from your sensitive core, his angelic face covered in your arousal making him look like he had fallen from grace and straight into your bed. “Can’t wait to feel you fall apart around me baby”.

Standing from the bed he began to undo his belt, removing it slowly his pants and boxers following abandoned where they fell he leaned in to pull your now very wet underwear down your legs before climbing back over you to kiss you, his rock hard cock pressing against your thigh. He ran his hands up and down your sides making sure you were relaxed again he kissed you softly giving you time to come back down from your high to not push you too fast you could taste yourself on his lips and tongue making the knot in your abdomen begin to tighten again.

“Lix” you whispered cupping his face softly as he pulled himself away from you slightly to look into your eyes “I want to feel you, please” you soft pleading making his eyes widen and genuine look of adoration cross his features.

“God you are everything I could have ever dreamt of” he breathed almost inaudibly allowing his length to slip between your thighs coating himself in your juices “I need you to tell me you want this”.

“Please Felix, I need you” you pleaded again the desperation in your voice showing through making him nod pecking your lips gently as he continued to coat himself in your juices, the head of his cock brushing your clit and making you gasp loudly. Slowly rutting against you he finally lined himself up at your entrance and began leisurely pushing himself inside your still fluttering hole.

“Fuck you feel amazing baby” he groaned bottoming out inside your plush walls before gradually pulling himself out and sinking back into you again. You had never felt so full his dick stretching you to the point you felt like you were being split in half, the pleasure tinged with pain bringing tears to your waterline. 

“Lix…ngh…ah” you moaned uncontrollably each snap of his hips making you feel utter blissful pleasure. Taking his time Felix unhurried pace was leaving you feeling almost drunk as he leant his forehead against yours sweetly humming every time you loudly moaned his name. You met each of his thrusts, your hips rolling against his.

“You’re breathtaking like this” he whispered, increasing the strength of his movements “like you were made just for me” he groaned as you clenched at his words.

“Just for you Lix, only for you” you babbled as white hot sparks spread through your veins making tears fall from your eyes running down your temples into your hair. You were sure Felix could feel your body tightening below you as he moved one hand to wrap your leg around his waist giving him the ability to go even deeper than before, his cock head almost kissing your cervix making you cry out.

“That’s it baby” he purred, burying his face into your neck to kiss and suck on your skin pushing you to the edge again.

“Felix!” you screamed convulsing around his length as your entire body shook and your vision went white, his name tumbling from your lips again and again like a prayer. Felix continued his pace helping to prolong your ecstasy only stopping when you felt him fill you with his thick warm seed. 

Felix peppered your face with sweet kisses as he carefully pulled his softening dick from you, pulling you into his arms as he lay beside you stroking your skin softly until you returned from the fog of pleasure that was currently filling your head. After a few moments he began to massage your thigh easing the muscles that had so tightly squeezed him.

“Is that what it is always like?” you rasped looking up at him with still watering eyes.

“It’s never like, not for clients” he admitted pulling up the blankets to cover your sweat sheen covered bodies. “But for you it would always be like that”.

Felix held you tightly letting your body recover, allowing you to doze off in his arms for a few minutes. When you woke he was wearing a silk robe tied tightly at the waist and was hanging up both your dress and his suit in an empty wardrobe.

“Lix?” you questioned softly sitting up and letting the blankets fall away from your still naked form.

“I didn’t want to wake you baby, you needed to rest” he chuckled quietly, bringing you a glass of water and another glass of wine, climbing into the bed beside you.

“What happens now?” you asked, sipping from the glass of water before allowing Felix to wrap you back up in his arms.

“That is up to you” he conceded, his voice tinged with nervousness.

“Did you want this to be more than tonight?” you continued hoping that you had understood him correctly “Do you want me?”.

“So much, I never expected to meet anyone like you” he confessed “I’ve not been interested in anyone for such a long time that I just thought it wasn’t going to happen ever. But then you appeared and I couldn’t help it, I want to try to make it work with you if you will let me”.

“How would it work though? You here every night and me at work every day we would be like ships passing in the night” you sighed trying to think of what sort of schedule would actually work for the both of you.

“So your first concern isn’t that I make my living like this, it's my hours that are the issue?” he chuckled looking at you with disbelief.

“Well, I mean…. Look Lix I know what you do, and I know you have been doing it for years so it isn’t fair for me to just demand you change your life for me when we don’t even know each other that well” you exhaled looking up at his face.

“The others were right, your honesty is insanely attractive” Felix hummed, placing a soft kiss against your forehead. “But I am willing to go back to just hosting and not escorting if it means I get a shot with you”.

“Have I not been obvious enough?” you giggled your fingers drawing patterns on his beautiful honey skin “I thought you could read women like a book?”.

“Women yes, you no” he groaned, his muscles twitching under your gentle ministrations.

“I like you a lot Felix” you whispered your hand sliding lower brushing his warm skin and eventually wrapping around his half hard cock. “I want to be with you”.

Felix tilted your head with his fingertips connecting his lips to yours in a long kiss that he only broke when the gradual pumping of your hand made him hiss in pleasure.

“I will never stop worshiping you baby, especially now you are mine” His breath fanned across your face and he rolled you back under him grinning devilishly once more.

a/n: Thank you for reading you beautiful people, all your likes reblogs and comments are adored and I hope you enjoyed this one even though it is a bit of an epic. Thank you again to everyone that has followed me and left messages of love and encouragement for me you are amazing xx

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