#i really wish i could get more time to draw stuff for you guys!! school is just killing me rn :') </3

[yuriyuruandyuraart]

the drawings from yesterday's aggie!!

a big thank you to everyone who took the time to hop in and say hi, and to all of those who drew with me for the past 8 hours i spent doodling and avoiding my responsibilities<333

the art here belongs to me and

@help-im-a-gay-fish

@bluepallilworld

@diofasolia

(and thank you to @adorablemew and @its-paperd for passing by<33)

[bloompawz]

I don't understand the whole, "You can't explain gender stuff to kids; they're too young to understand" argument. Refusing to explain anything just results in more confusion.

As a kid, I thought that trans people were a really cool hypothetical, but didn't realize that could actually be a real thing until years later. I used to try to find portals where I could step in and swap my gender in elementary school, because I thought that would be the only way.

In third grade, we had a project where we were given the letters of our names and pictures of our faces, and we were supposed to draw the rest for a sort of classroom student book thing. I dropped some of the letters in my name to make it masculine, cut off the hair, and drew stuff that I thought was cool.

The teacher saw this and said, "Is that really how you want people to remember you?" clearly expecting me to say "no."

But I said "Yes," and the teacher argued against this for a bit, before giving in and allowing me to use the art that I made. They still made me create a version that aligned with my AGAB, though. The masculine version was only kept in black and white.

(Fun fact: My chosen name is actually almost identical to the name I chose in third grade. I had a pretty good idea of what I wanted, even with my limited knowledge on what I could do.)

I fantasized about being able to change my gender a lot as a kid, whether that meant being a boy, or being neither a girl nor a boy, or being between/some sort of boygirl. I wished that I could "genderbend," because that was the terminology I knew.

I learned that trans people actually exist in like... Middle school? And people were super transphobic at the time, so I internalized that for a few years before accepting that I'm trans. That pain could've been avoided if I had been taught from a young age that trans people exist, and that it's okay to be trans.

I was a trans kid, and I didn't know that was what I was until I was a teen, because I wasn't given the opportunity to know. Trans kids exist, regardless of whether you give them language to express their experiences or not.

And I've met trans kids who knew that terminology, and knew that they were trans because of it. I've also met kids who weren't trans, but still experimented with pronouns and gender expression for a short while to see how they felt, because they were given the freedom to do so. It's good to let kids explore who they are.

I'm also openly trans, and I don't hide this from anyone. Kids understand, even if I'm the first to explain it to them. It's not a hard concept to grasp. My little brother was introducing me to his friends as his big brother even when I was expressing myself very femininely, and hardly any kids batted an eye. Some of them were curious why I looked so feminine for a guy, and it was easy to explain. It has also been easy to explain what being nonbinary means.

Kids latch onto concepts like gender more easily than you think. Out of everyone in my family, my little brother (who still isn't even a teen yet) has been one of the most supportive people when it comes to my transition. I can't think of a time when he has misgendered me- not in years, at least. He caught on fast, and he never gets it wrong. He even corrects people who misgender me. I get misgendered by the adults in my family much more than the children.

Kids get it. All you gotta do is explain.

[mcntsee]

Letters to her

prologue

summary: kaz’s letter to y/n throughout the years.

warnings: Kaz’s past is kinda mentioned, mentions of death, cursing

note: I tried to express kaz’s feelings and growth with every start and finish of all the letters, hopefully you guys understand it too. I added a little something at the end, hope you enjoy! <3333

first letter:

Deer y/n

My da said you can came come play wheneber you want to come play with my me again can you please come play with me soon pleas?

I miss you and Jordie miss and da and the little kitteny miss you we all misses you very much

Love Kaz!

(I drawed a pist picture of you and me and spots playing)

2nd letter

Dear Y/N,

I hope you're doing okay. I wanted to say a big thank you for being there when we said bye to my da. It made me feel better knowing you were there, even though it was kinda sad.

Guess what? Jordie said we're gonna move to Ketterdam. He says it's cause he wants me to go to a good school there. I'm not sure about leaving this house, but Jordie says it'll be good for us.

The cool part is that you live in Ketterdam! That means we can hang out more and play together. Remember when we used to build forts in the living room and pretend we were pirates? Maybe we can do that in Ketterdam too.

I'll miss this house a bit because it's where we played hide and seek and had ice cream parties, but I think Ketterdam will be fun too. And I'm really happy cause we'll get to see each other more often!

I will see you soon, okay?

Love, Kaz!

3rd letter

Dear y/n,

I'm really, really sorry I haven't come to see you yet. It's not 'cause I don't want to, I promise. You're still my bestest friend ever. It's just that things got a little crazy since we arrived.

Jordie met this guy named Jacob Hertzoon. And guess what? Jacob offered us a whole bunch of money for our house! Jordie said it's a really good thing 'cause we can use the money for important stuff. But it also means we're super busy.

I didn't want you to think I forgot about you or anything. I miss you a lot and I still want to see you and play together. Maybe once we're all settled in our new place and get the money, we can have a big adventure like we used to.

Thanks for being the best friend ever. I promise we'll hang out soon, okay?

Love, Kaz!

4th letter

Y/N,

Are you okay? Please write back! Jordie is gone. I need to know you're alive.

Kaz.

5th letter

Y/N,

I heard you went on quite the journey to Shu Han just to retrieve my cane. I assume the trip was bearable. Your efforts are appreciated.

It's curious how life unfolds, isn't it? One day we're children playing in the streets, the next we're scattered across the world for various reasons. Yet, here we are, still connected by some thread of familiarity.

I imagine you'll return from your expedition when the time is right. Until then, business with the dregs continues as usual. The city keeps turning, and so do its dealings. As for me, well, I have my own matters to attend to as soon as I’m able to walk again.

- K.B.

First note

Get well soon! Let me know if you need anything else.

- Love, Y/n!

6th letter

Y/N,

Your letter reached me, and I must admit, it contained more substance than I anticipated. Word travels fast in the Barrel, and it seems that Haskell has taken quite an interest in your recent endeavors. His words carry weight, though they seldom come without a price.

If his assessment holds true, and you manage to prove your worth in the upcoming job, it could indeed elevate you within the ranks. Haskell’s recognition of your potential is both promising and concerning. The higher one climbs, the more treacherous the fall can be.

In the midst of this, know that I await your return.

May you navigate these challenges with the same tenacity that has carried you thus far. I wish you the best of luck, Y/N. Tread carefully.

- K.B

7th letter

Y/N,

You certainly have a talent for uncovering promising recruits. Jesper Fahey. The word on the street is that he’s got a steady aim that’s worth noticing. The skills he possesses could indeed be valuable, particularly in the line of work we find ourselves engaged in.

However, I must tread cautiously when it comes to individuals entangled in debts and vices. Jesper Fahey, from what I’ve heard, is no stranger to gambling. His tendency to wager recklessly has garnered quite a reputation, one that isn’t entirely favorable. The loyalty of a man buried under the weight of debts is a precarious matter. Whether his skills can outweigh the burden of his choices remains to be seen.

Your perspective on recruits is valued, and I’ll certainly keep a watchful eye on Fahey. I trust your judgment, and I’m willing to entertain the possibility. In the midst of all this, remember that your return is anticipated and your presence missed.

Return safely,

K.B.

8th letter

Y/N,

Do you remember Jesper? It’s almost comical how, after discussing him in my last letter, fate seemed to conspire to validate our conversation. Not long after I sent those words to you, I found myself intervening to prevent Jesper from getting himself thoroughly thrashed due to his gambling debts.

I hope I’ve made the right call by extending a hand to Jesper. It’s a calculated risk, one that I’m hoping will pan out in our favor. There’s potential there, no doubt, but potential doesn’t always translate into reliability.

This letter is short, I know, but I will tell you more about it when you come back.

Stay safe,

K.B

9th letter

Y/n,

It’s been days since your last communication, and the weight of uncertainty presses heavily on me. The quiet absence of your presence has stirred an unease I’m not accustomed to.

I’ve seen you handle insane odds, and I know you’re more than capable. But here I am. My mind keeps wandering to places I’d rather it not go, imagining scenarios that could have unfolded, and none of them are sitting well with me.

I hope that this silence is a result of strategic detachment, that you’re immersed in the intricacies of the job and haven’t had a moment to spare for correspondence.

I’m not accustomed to this vulnerability, nor do I care for it. Yet, here I am, plagued by the absence of information. I ask you, if you’re able, to dispel this uncertainty. A simple message, a token of reassurance – anything to quell this rising tide of apprehension.

I await word from you with an intensity I hadn’t thought possible. May it come soon.

Expectantly,

K.B

10th letter

Y/N,

I received the coat you sent, and I must admit, it's a rare occasion when I'm at a loss for words. It's unlike anything I would've chosen for myself, yet somehow, it feels surprisingly fitting. I can't deny its utility either – I appreciate it.

Jesper and Nina have managed to cultivate a special talent for driving me to the brink of exasperation. Their camaraderie is both amusing and bewildering, a chaotic symphony that I'm still attempting to decipher.

Today was no different. Jesper's antics at the club bordered on audacious, and Nina's unbridled laughter was enough to turn heads in our direction. As I tried to navigate the sea of chaos they create, I found myself, unusually, yearning for a return to some semblance of normalcy.

I must confess, the prospect of your return holds an allure I hadn't anticipated. There's a steadiness in your presence, an understanding that's often a rare commodity in these tumultuous times. The chaos, the hustle – they feel more manageable when you're around.

Till then, I'll persevere in the sea of antics that Jesper and Nina stir up, counting down the days until your return.

Until then,

Kaz

11th letter

Y/N,

Your mention of the jurda parem caught my attention, no doubt about it. It’s a name that carries weight, and I’ve got a feeling we’re treading on some dangerous ground here. It’s the kind of thing that’s best left untouched until we’ve got a better handle on what it entails.

Listen, I won’t preach, but I’ve got to say it – be careful and keep an eye out for trouble. The city’s not known for being kind to those who don’t tread carefully, and I’d hate to see you caught in something you didn’t see coming.

I’ve got a job for you. One that’s right up your alley. It’s always better discussing these things face to face, so when you can, make your way back. The sooner, the better.

Until then,

Kaz

12th letter

Y/N,

I’ve never been one for words, as you well know. My tongue seems to have a mind of its own, often saying the wrong things at the wrong time. And when it comes to matters like these, I’ve found that my eloquence takes a swift exit.

So, here I am, writing this letter in hopes that the words come out right, that they somehow capture what I’m feeling. I’ve spent years navigating the intricacies of this city, and yet the complexities of my own emotions have managed to elude me.

I’ve always valued our connection, from those early days of childhood mischief to the present. You’ve been a constant in my life, someone whose presence brings a sense of order to the chaos that surrounds us. And somewhere along the way, that bond transformed into something deeper, something I’ve been grappling with.

I find myself wanting to say more, to articulate the thoughts that remain half-formed in my mind. But it’s difficult, Y/N, and this letter might be the best I can manage.

What I’m trying to say is that you’ve become more than a friend, more than a partner in crime. There’s a depth to my feelings that I’m only beginning to understand. And if I’m being truly honest, I’d like to explore where this path might lead.

I understand if you need time, if my sudden candor is a lot to process. But I wanted to put these thoughts down, to let you know where my heart is at. And if you’re open to it, if you’ve felt even a fraction of what I’ve been feeling, then maybe we can navigate this new terrain together.

Kaz.

Second note

I’d like to explore where this path might lead too.

Love, y/n!

13th letter

Y/N,

I can't thank you enough for stepping in when I couldn't. I hope the contractor in Lij wasn’t hard to handle.

Now, I have a proposal of a different kind. How about we put our skills to use in a more relaxed setting? I'd like to take you out to dinner. No heists, no secret dealings, just you and me, navigating the menu instead of the back alleys.

I've made reservations for us at a place that's a bit more reputable than the Barrel's taverns. Consider it a step toward normalcy, a chance to enjoy an evening without looking over our shoulders.

Looking forward to your return,

Kaz

14th letter

Dear Y/N,

Your letter reached me, and I've got to say, the way you put it into words – how much you miss me – it hits home. The distance is a constant reminder of the warmth I've grown accustomed to, and I find myself missing you more than I thought possible.

This job is driving me insane, and my thoughts often wander back to Ketterdam, back to you. It's like a pull, a magnetic force that tugs me back to the life we've been building together.

I bought something with me – a box of those chocolates you can't seem to get enough of. The catch? I'm hoping they survive the journey and don't turn into a gooey mess.

I want you to know that with every sunrise and sunset that passes, I'm getting more restless to return to the city that's been our canvas, our backdrop. Until then, my thoughts are with you, and I'm eagerly counting down the days until I can wrap my arms around you again.

With all my longing,

Kaz

3rd note

I apologize, it seems the chocolates didn’t fare too well. I hope they’re still somewhat salvageable and that they manage to satisfy your sweet tooth.

- Kaz

15th letter

Dear Y/N,

I hope this letter finds you on the mend, wrapped in warmth and taking good care of yourself. It pains me to know you're unwell while I'm away, unable to offer even the smallest comfort.

My love, get well soon. I miss your laughter, your presence – they're a part of my life I can't bear to be without for long. The distance feels heavier when I know you're not well.

Today, during the heist, I saw a small brown cat with delicate white spots. The sight of it was like a reminder of simpler times, of moments when things were less complex. It stirred memories of my old cat "Spots," whose antics used to provide a reprieve from the realities of the Barrel.

As I look around, I find myself yearning for the day when I'll return to Ketterdam. Until then, my thoughts are with you, my love. Rest well, recover soon, and know that I will be there soon.

With all my affection,

Kaz

16th letter

Dearest Y/N,

There are times in life when words are inadequate, when even the most eloquent phrases fall short of capturing the depth of one's emotions. Today is one such day, and I find myself grappling with a sentiment that defies my usual precision.

I love you, Y/N. There, I've said it, though the words seem almost insufficient to convey the weight of my feelings. You've woven your presence into the very fabric of my being, and I find that I'm navigating uncharted territory, stumbling upon emotions that have long remained dormant.

In a world marked by uncertainties, you've become my constant, the one I turn to when the winds of the Barrel grow fierce. I cherish our bond, our shared history, and the future we're forging together.

As the days pass, my conviction only grows stronger. You've touched a part of me I thought was unreachable, and I find myself grateful for the warmth you've brought into my life.

Love,

Kaz

4th note

I love you too, more than words can express.

- Love, y/n!

17th letter

My Love,

I've stumbled upon something while on my trip to Lij, a revelation that caught me by surprise. My old house is up for sale. I confess, it's a notion that's been hovering in the back of my mind, a possibility I've been toying with.

And then, as if fate had a hand to play, it occurred to me – what if we made it our own? Y/N, would you consider it? The thought of creating new memories in a space that's intertwined with my past is something that holds a certain allure. A place where we could carve out our own sanctuary, away from the schemes and chaos that surround us.

If this notion speaks to you, let me know. It's a step I'd only take with you, a shared decision that would mark a new chapter in our journey together.

Love,

Kaz

18th letter

This is to certify that Y/N L/N and Kaz Brekker is (are) now registered as the absolute proprietor(s) of the land comprised in the above-mentioned title, subject to the entries in the register relating to the land and to such of the overriding interests set out in section 30 of the Registered Land Act as may for the time being subsist and affect the land.

Kaz Brekker __________

19th letter

My love Y/N,

I hope this letter finds you in good spirits, even though I’m far away in Shu Han. I wanted to share something with you – I stumbled upon the perfect dining table. It’s a piece that seems to embody the essence of what we’ve built together, a symbol of the life we’re crafting, even from a distance.

As I stand here, thousands of miles away, my thoughts are never far from Ketterdam, from you. Every corner of the city is a reminder of our shared journey, of the future we’re molding. And with every passing day, I find myself longing to return, to be by your side again.

The plans we’ve made, the dreams we’ve spun – they’re a driving force, propelling me forward through the challenges that Shu Han presents. I promise you, Y/N, I’ll be back soon enough.

Until then, know that you’re in my thoughts, my heart, every moment of the day.

With all my affection,

Kaz

20th letter

Love,

I’ve come across some interesting information that might be of use to you. It seems that there’s a rumor circulating about a certain merchant in the Fifth Harbor. This merchant, it’s said, has been trying to make deals with both the Merchants Council and the Whitecrows, something that has my interest piqued.

I’ve also managed to uncover some details about a potential source of counterfeit currency that might be making its way into the hands of certain unsavory individuals. The source, surprisingly, seems to be tied to a printing press hidden away in the Barrel. It’s a curious development, one that could have far-reaching consequences.

And finally, I’ve received word that a shipment of goods has gone missing from a storage warehouse near the docks. This might not seem significant at first glance, but it’s the timing that intrigues me. A missing shipment, coupled with the merchant’s deals and the counterfeit currency – it’s all connected, I’m certain of it.

Stay vigilant, stay cautious. And know that even in the midst of our separate tasks, you’re in my thoughts.

I miss you, and I love you.

Love,

Kaz

21st letter

Y/N,

Listen to me, and listen carefully. You need to come back to Ketterdam, now. What you walked into, it was a trap – calculated, deliberate. I can’t explain it all in this letter, but trust me when I say your safety is in jeopardy.

I don’t care what you’re in the middle of, what plan you’re executing – drop it, and make your way back. I can’t lose you, not now, not like this. The threat is real, and the longer you stay where you are, the more danger you’re in.

I’m begging you, Y/N, hurry back. We can sort through the details, I’ll explain everything, but right now, all that matters is your safety. Don’t delay, don’t second-guess. Just come back.

Kaz

22nd letter

Love,

I’m pleading with you, begging you to reach out, to let me know you’re safe. This silence, it’s a torment I can’t bear. Every thought is tinged with worry, and I find myself grappling with scenarios that are far too grim.

I don’t care about the details, the reasons – they pale in comparison to my overwhelming need to know you’re okay. We’ve faced down darkness together, navigated treacherous waters, and I can’t accept the idea of you being lost in the midst of it all.

Please, Y/N, come back to Ketterdam. If you’re reading this, if you’re anywhere, find a way to let me know you’re alive. I’ll make sense of the rest later. Just, my love, come back to me.

Kaz

23rd letter

Y/N,

I can’t wait any longer. The silence is a weight on my chest, a suffocating reminder of the unknown. I’ve agonized, I’ve begged, and still, there’s no word from you. It’s time I take matters into my own hands.

Please, hold on. I’m coming. I hope you’re okay, I hope you’re just out of reach, waiting for me to catch up. It’s a risk I have to take.

I love you.

Stay strong, my love. I’m on my way.

24th letter

My Dearest Y/N,

It's been a week since you left us, a week of darkness and aching emptiness that nothing can fill. I know you won't get this letter, that these words will remain suspended in the void, but I find myself needing to put them down, needing to release the feelings that have taken hold of me.

The pain is suffocating, a weight that's settled into my bones. I still can't grasp the reality, can't accept that you're gone, that your light has been extinguished. It's a void that stretches beyond comprehension, a void I'm stumbling through.

The memories are a double-edged sword. They're a balm, a reminder of the moments we shared, of your laughter, your warmth. But they're also a blade, a reminder of what's been taken from us, of the future that was stolen away.

I want you to know, even though you'll never read these words – I love you. I always have, and I always will. You were more than a partner, more than a confidant. You were my anchor, my solace, my reason to keep pushing forward.

It's impossible to fathom life without you, Y/N. Your absence leaves a void that can never be filled. I can only hope that wherever you are, you're at peace, free from the pain that's gripped my heart.

Until we meet again, my love,

Kaz

25th letter

My dearest Y/N,

Six months have passed, and the ache of your absence has only deepened. The city, our city, is a different place without you. The crows, the ones you brought together, are slowly finding their separate paths, their separate destinies. It's as if the world itself is reshaping in your absence.

I found the little box where you kept all those letters. Your letters, my words – I'm surprised, in a way, that you kept them all. It's a piece of you that I'll treasure forever.

It's in these moments of solitude that I find myself yearning for your presence the most. Your laughter, your insights – they're still very much alive in my memories, and they continue to guide me through the labyrinthine twists of this world.

I miss you, Y/N. More than words can say. The void you left behind is as vast as the Barrel itself, and there's a hollowness that's impossible to fill. I can only hope that, wherever you are, you've found the peace that eluded you in life.

Until the next time we meet, my love,

Kaz

26th letter

My Dearest Y/N,

Time has continued its relentless march, and two years have slipped through my grasp since you left us. The city, once our canvas, has taken on a different hue, a different weight. The crows have scattered, their paths diverging, and the life we built together feels like a distant memory.

I wanted to share something with you – I've made a decision about the house, the one that once held the echoes of our shared history. It's a decision born out of the reality that without you, it's ceased to be a home. The walls, the rooms – they're empty without your presence, and it's a stark reminder of what's been lost.

Putting it up for sale again, it's not just about letting go of a physical space. It's about acknowledging that our time together, our shared moments, live on in memories, not in bricks and mortar. I carry you with me, always, but it's time to release the hold the house had on me.

Life continues to move forward, though it's a path I tread with a shadow that can never be dispelled. I hope, wherever you are, you've found the peace that eluded you in life. And I hope, wherever I am, you're watching over me, your presence a guiding light through the darkness.

With a heart full of love,

Kaz

27th letter

My dearest,

It's been almost three years, and some days it feels like it was just yesterday when I last saw you. I miss you, fuck, I miss you so much. It's like this gaping hole, this emptiness that can't be filled. No matter how many schemes I plan, no matter how many crows I put to work, it's like there's this void that's always there.

I was gonna do it, you know? I was gonna ask you. I got this ring, this small little thing that I bought just a month before you fucking died. It's funny, you know, I never thought I'd be the one to feel this way, to want something that much, to want to stake a claim in this shithole of a world.

But I guess that's what you did to me. You turned this cold, calculating schemer into someone who wanted more, who wanted you. I'm sorry I didn't ask you sooner, that I waited, that I let time slip through my fingers like sand. I'm sorry I couldn't be the one you deserved.

You were my light, Y/N. You shined a light into my darkest corners, and now that you're gone, it's like the shadows have returned with a vengeance. I need you, I need you so fucking much it's like a knife in my gut every damn day.

I don't know where you are, what's out there after this life, but I hope you're somewhere better. I hope you're at peace, and I hope you know that I'm here, waiting in this shithole, missing you every fucking day.

I love you, Y/N. I love you so fucking much it hurts. And I wish... I wish I could've showed it more when you were still here.

With all my shattered pieces,

Kaz

28th letter

Deer Y/N,

This will be the last letter I write to you, and as I put pen to paper, I’m filled with a mixture of emotions that words could never truly capture. The passage of time has been unkind, separating us by years that have felt both fleeting and eternal.

It’s strange, the way grief works. It’s a steady ache that never truly fades, an ache I’ve grown accustomed to carrying. There’s an emptiness in my heart that’s become a part of me, a void that can never be filled by anyone or anything else.

I’ve learned to navigate this world without you, though it’s been a journey fraught with challenges and moments of unbearable pain. There’s a longing, a yearning, that can never be quenched. You were my constant, the force that kept me grounded, and now that you’re gone, there’s a piece of me that will forever remain incomplete.

As time marches on, I find myself grappling with a heartbreaking reality – the sound of your voice is fading from my memory. The way you felt, the touch of your hand in mine, it’s becoming harder to recall. It’s as though the vibrant details of your presence are slipping through my fingers, leaving behind a hazy impression.

And oh, Y/N, the thought that your laughter will never again reach my ears, it’s a pain that reverberates through my very being. Your face, once etched in my mind with unparalleled clarity, is beginning to blur around the edges. The little details that I once treasured, the nuances that made you uniquely you, they’re slipping away, like grains of sand carried by the wind.

I love you, Y/N. Those words have become a mantra, a whispered refrain that echoes in the corners of my mind. I carry your memory with me, every step of the way, and I hold onto the hope that, wherever you are, you’ve found the peace that eluded you in life.

As I place this letter alongside the others, a part of me hopes that somehow, somewhere, you’ll receive these words, that you’ll know that you were loved, that you’re still loved, even in your absence.

I miss you, “we all misses you very much.”

Love, Kaz!

[thatfreshi]

"Unlucky Draw" (Uni AU p. 15)

There's finally some fluff guys!!!!!!!!!

tw - anxiety, discussion of weed

Since Halsin's little break-up escapade happened, you actually do get the chance to see Astarion later that night. As of recent, he's been throwing himself into his thesis project more and more, to the point where most of your time hanging is spent with him looking through books and asking 'do you think this sounds right?'

"You know you can take a break, right?"

"I could, you're right, but then I'd just be wasting time. And I'm not allotted much time to work on this."

The two of you are comfortably sprawled across his mattress, like teenagers at a sleepover. You roll over and shut his laptop.

"C'mon, you've been staring at that paper for like two hours."

"And what else should I do, my darling Tav? Maybe stare at the ceiling in silence? Or scroll mindlessly on my phone until I don't feel like moving anymore?"

"Ugh, no! I don't know, take a coffee break. You're probably not going to sleep anyways."

Your best friend almost looks peaceful like this, wrapped in a cozy sweater and sweatpants, always wearing long socks because he gets cold too easily. You find yourself lingering on the thought longer than normal, wishing he could feel that comfortable warmth all the time, wondering it might be like to share in it.

"Tav, are you listening? God, maybe we should just stare at the ceiling in silence."

"Sorry, just spacing out. What were you saying?"

"I was saying, how I should probably cut back on the caffeine."

"Really? Astarion Barista Ancunín, are you turning your back on your beloved espresso machine?"

"Look, I'm not happy about it, but I've been far too anxious as of late. My nerves are on fire constantly, jumping at every little noise I hear. It's irritating, to say the least."

"I thought being caffeinated was how you dealt with the insomnia though?"

"Oh it very much is, which will become a problem soon enough, but I just can't be this nervous constantly."

It's something that you've definitely noticed, how quiet and fidgety he's become recently.

"You considered smoking weed? I know Gale says it helps him zen out, especially when it comes to art stuff."

"Nope, makes me paranoid."

"Damn, unlucky draw I guess."

"You're telling me. I smoked one time back in high school, couldn't sleep for hours, kept thinking someone was out to get me or something."

You start to get lost in the peace of the moment again, the fact that you're able to talk about shit that doesn't matter, how the light from the bedside lamp hits his eyes just right...

"Are you alright? You seem, out of it."

"Sorry, just thinking about what Halsin said to me."

"I can't believe he just broke things off like that, without a reason."

You swallow hard.

"He, he said it's because he thinks you like me? And that he doesn't want to get in the way of that?"

There's silence for a moment, that you jump to fill.

"But that's not true right? We're just friends, I don't know where he would've gotten that idea from."

"Right, I don't know either... sounds like you dodged a bullet with him."

"Yeah, probably so."

God, has he always looked like this? Damn Halsin, damn all those things he said, damn Gale for even playing into it. You remind yourself that Astarion's right, that this doesn't need to get any more complicated than it already is, that he has enough on his plate.

"Now, am I allowed to go back to my thesis now? Or do I need to have more mandatory break time?"

You playfully sigh.

"I guess you can do productive things or whatever."

"Well, in that case would you like to come read what I have?"

"I'll look at it, but you have the cool narrator voice, you have to read it to be like a professional author."

He rolls his eyes, and you go to sit next to him, looking at the thousands of words he's typed at this point. Astarion starts to read it out loud, editing tiny things as he goes, forever a little perfectionist. After a while, the voice becomes too soothing, and you fall asleep there next to him, letting your head hit his shoulder.

"Tav?"

Out of the corner of his eye, he sees you knocked out, clearly exhausted. He doesn't stop reading though, worried if he does that he'll somehow ruin the sleep he's let you stumble into. So he spends the rest of the night rereading out loud and talking to himself, occasionally asking you things that you don't answer. After many hours pass, and the wee hours of the morning arrive, along with the clock turning to say five AM, he puts his laptop aside, and asks you one final question.

"Why do you insist on pulling my heartstrings the way you do?"

And it falls on your sleeping ears, never truly getting through.

[ask-the-bone-boys]

ATBB's Future

Hiiii y'all, its uh. been a minute huh

Now that it's been a bit over a year since I put this blog on hiatus, a loootta stuff has happened and changed and i've been doing a loootttta thinking!

Looking back on it, like really really looking, my biggest reason for the hiatus was that at some point the blog just kinda became more of a chore than something I wanted to work on for fun. Ask blogs are a lot of work, even when you're just using talking portraits rather than drawing out every individual answer, and with how much ask culture on tumblr has died out over the years there just wasn't really enough payoff to make it feel worthwhile to keep burning myself out.

I think it's a really good thing I stopped it when I did, because having to deal with all that in my senior year of high school would have been a nightmare. I've actually just finished up my first semester of college now, and there's no way in hell I would've been able to keep up at any rate! With all of this in mind, I've gained a newer perspective about how to approach things going forward.

I'm still really attached to this story. With how much time I've spent thinking about it and developing it in my head, I can't let it go, even if the blog isn't really working out anymore. I keep thinking of different ways I could fix the decisions I made early on, as well as the super cool directions I could take it in in the future, and I just. I GOTTA.

So, I've decided to reboot it entirely as a fic series!

This means that, unfortunately, there won't be nearly as much artwork to accompany it, but it's far more likely for the story to actually progress! Writing is way less draining for me and once I get going I can do it much quicker than art anyway, even though I do still sorta wish I had the spoons to just turn it into a full-blown webcomic instead haha

This DOES mean that updates won't be nearly as linear as they were here, seeing as right now I've mostly been working on backstory fics that took place before the blog's main story, but that can at least give you guys more context for how the characters interact with each other! I'll also state that while I do write faster than I draw, I still do it a hell of a lot less, so updates will still probably be pretty infrequent. But at least they'll happen at all, right?

As for the state of this blog itself, obviously I'm going to leave it up! I still love looking back on the old interactions you guys had with my characters and your reactions to certain plot points (your reactions to Fluff tagging along with the rest of the group were my favorite by far) and I think it would actually kill me to erase them. I'll be posting the fic updates here too, just like I did for Self Hatred!

And even if it's not going to be an ask blog anymore, because of how much I still miss that kind of interaction with you guys, I think I want to do a sort of "last hurrah" event, to finally send off the asking format with some good vibes.

You see, there's a character I made up around this time of year two years ago. He's a pretty cool guy, but he doesn't actually show up until a specific turning point later in the story. I've been excited for you guys to talk to him since the day I made him, but a little bummed lately that you may not ever get the chance. I still need to get a lot of stuff prepared, so I'm not quite ready to announce or start anything just yet, but there's a reason I waited until my winter break to start thinking about this seriously.

I think you guys would really like to meet him.

But anyway, that's about all I wanted to say for now! This is a very long post already so it's time I start wrapping it up. As always, thank you all so much for sticking with me, even though I really haven't been consistent through the years. I hope this change doesn't come as too much of a disappointment, and that you'll keep sticking around for the reboot!

[anna-scribbles]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

thanks for the tag @jattendschaton and @miabrown007!! blowing u guys kisses

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

8 💪

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

105,963

3. What fandoms do you write for?

miraculous ladybug<3

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

this question is great bc nearly all of my 8 fics make it in👍

golden (like daylight)

call it even

at our wedding

circles & cycles (right back where you started)

no other shade of blue, but you

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

sometimes!! I try to!!! not as often as i wish i did :( I was pretty consistently replying on call it even for a while but then i fell behind and it got overwhelming😭 there are so many lovely ones I go back and reread all the time though!!

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

no other shade of blue but you maybe? not sure if it counts as angsty it's very short and ends with marinette just being sort of sad and wistful. i'm not built for angsty endings<3

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

probably golden (like daylight)! that's definitely the one i'm proudest of at least.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

no not really!!

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

No👍

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

haha not yet but i've had an anastasia inspired fic in the works for soo long. one day i'll dust it off and finish

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not that I know of!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

nope

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

AHAHA YES I co-wrote call it even with my sister @sha-nwa!!! one of the most fun experiences of my life, abby's such an incredible writer and she did marinette so much justice.

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

lovesquare (shocking)

15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

i have tooons of wips in my google docs but i am wary of posting anything on ao3 that’s not a one shot/something i’m sure i’ll finish. one i think might be lost to time is my ladrien greek mythology wip💔

16. What are your writing strengths?

a lot of comments I get are related to prose/description so maybe that? I tend to spend a lot of time trying to pick out the exact right words for each sentence so that it has the sonic/rhythmic quality i'm going for. golden is probably the best example of this; I worked and reworked those sentences for many months until I was satisfied haha. I remember wanting it to feel sort of like the building of a song

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

my writing can be sort of dense and hard to get through sometimes!! I think I have a tendency to try and pack a lot into every sentence, which is fun for me to write, but can be difficult to get through as a reader. it's sort of the polar opposite to how I approach drawing silly comics, where the goal is to deliver the point/joke as clearly and effectively as possible. writing puts me in a much more contemplative headspace, which makes my fic not quite as digestable I think

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I admit i am guilty of peppering in random french words in ml fic whenever I feel like it 💔 I usually use italics though

19. First fandom you wrote for?

dear evan hansen I think? (<-I was a very specific type of annoying in high school)

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

have to give it to my og adrien essay golden (like daylight). it has all my favorite stuff. adrinette. what could loosely be called a plot. the word "something." I said what I needed to say

tagging anyone who wants to!!

[jezabatlovesbats]

Like I said already, I graduated high school this year. So naturally, because I'm somehow both lazy and busy at the same time, I don't draw anything for the occasion like I wanted to until the literal DAY before I start college. (Yeah, I'm not joking- my first day of college is tomorrow.)

Just because I've come this far since I joined Wattpad as a 7th grader doesn't mean I know how I did it. Oh, wait- yes I do. I do know. I guess I don't know my own brain. Anyway, it's because I had, and still do, a burning desire to reach out to you and tell you about all the silly little stuff I had on my mind. I also wanted to get to know people all around the cyber world who liked the same stuff I liked. (I hope I can find someone who does in my art college.) I wanted y'all to know that Unikitty and Minecraft: Story Mode were (and still are) my two most favorite things ever. For months, I begged my parents for it, and I eventually got it for Christmas. Over the years, I've come to like more shows, games and movies. I even realized that I liked doing musical theater, too. Since I joined Wattpad, I've expanded my posting to DeviantArt, this site, YouTube, and more.  I've probably told you all of this many times before, but I say it for a reason.

As I also said already, high school was as fun of an experience as it was... interesting. I couldn't finish my freshman year, and I missed my entire sophomore year, and if you survived 2020, you probably know why. I still passed, though. I think that junior and senior year made up for that. I was in the school musical both of those years, I got to attend my first prom junior year, and I went to Thespian Fest senior year.

Maybe the real high school experience was the friends we made along the way, as I've joked. But I wanted to surround myself with people I could get together with. As SpongeBob said, "I only want to hang out with my friends." And I did, 'cause we made every day the best day ever, especially the night we graduated. (The trampoline park we went to afterwards had some killer chicken tenders!) I took one of my friends to see Elemental before she went out of state for her college. I still keep in touch with a lot of them. Still, I'm really gonna miss everyone, and I wish them luck in their future endeavors.

As soon as school let out, my family took me on a trip to celebrate the fact that I graduated, and I made a video about it. You can watch it on my channel if you'd like.

But, I digress! There are a bunch of people here who I've just gotta show my gratitude for. You guys are part of why I keep going in life.

For @joyseer24, @agent-egg, @sundove88, and @pinkiemeowstic89, some of the earliest people I remember interacting with me.

For @erin-the-epic and @clg-artisa, who never fail to put a smile on my face.

(Also, special thanks to all the Unikitty fans here and on YouTube who called me out on my BS back in 2021.)

To @nevaehjwilliamsvaeh, a fan of Mao Mao and Six. I always love seeing you in my notifications!

@pocketlad, thank you for being my lad.

For @federthenotsogreat. It's nice to have a fellow Mario & Luigi fan to chat with.

@generalfoxy21, thanks for liking my posts and tagging me in your picrews.

To my fellow lovers of WALL-E: @cosmo-naute, @ohthewhomanity, and @defineshitposting. Computer, define friendship- the love that we shared.

For folks like @hazed-miner, @tailsofairies, and @milliemakesmistakes. Thanks to all of you cube kids for liking my Minecraft: Story Mode stuff.

To @choupiee. Anybody who likes both Unikitty and MC:SM stuff is a friend in my book.

There are also more Unikitty fans I have to thank, including @glitzycatart, @passionatepinkkittynew, @lizatheeddsworldaddict, @theunikingdom, and @doomlordsbutfunni.

@keith-neil, thank you for your Unitober challenge! I had a great time participating!

@askthechronoverse, I've got you to thank for liking my posts, reblogging them, and asking questions on the Big Bright World blog. And, thanks for keeping the Unikitty and Lego Movie fandoms alive. It's come to the point where I consider you a true friend, Fabri.

And to all my other watchers who weren't mentioned here, thank you for watching me and sticking by me. I don't know how to end this, so I'm gonna say that life is weird. 

[bored-writer101]

Eddie Munson X Reader More Bats

A/N: this is a pretty self indulgent fic because the reader is an artist. i had the thought for this while staring looking at pictures of eddie. hope you guys enjoy :)) (gender neutral reader)

Warnings: none

Summary: you can’t stop yourself from drawing more bats down eddie’s arm in pen, but you didn’t think he was actually going to get them tattooed on him.

Words: 1194

(not my gif)

More bats. That's all you could think as you looked down at Eddie's bare forearm. The sleeves of his hellfire tee stopped right above the bat tattoos that were just below his elbow. More bats. You thought again as you twirled around the pen you were holding. You couldn't resist the urge to draw more bats, so before you could stop yourself, you clicked your pen and leaned forward.

The clicking sound had somewhat gotten Eddie's attention, but he was a little preoccupied with the metal magazine laying open on his bed in front of him. What did get his attention though, was the feeling of a pen against his skin. He furrowed his brows before looking down to his right arm.

Your tongue poked out from between your lips in concentration as you drew more bats down Eddie's arm. Eddie could feel his cheeks begin to heat up at the close proximity. "Uh... Y/N?"

"Mhm" you hummed in response, continuing to draw. "What are you doing?" he asked, even though he knew exactly what you were doing; he was watching you finish your second bat that was just below the first. "Drawing" you answered simply. Eddie chuckled, opting to not bother you and just let you work.

A few more minutes passed by before you sat back, satisfied with the three incredibly detailed bats you had added. You didn't notice Eddie had been looking at you until you looked up to meet his gaze. The realization of what you had just done hit you like a truck.

I just started drawing on him. I didn't even ask, I just started doing it! What if when he had asked what I was doing, he actually wanted me to stop? Your mind was racing as your eyes began to widen. It was as if Eddie could read your mind. He smiled warmly before looking down at his arm, brining it up closer to his face to inspect your drawings.

"These are fuckin' metal! They look even better than my old ones!" Eddie did his best to make sure you knew he appreciated them. He had wished you'd added more, just so he could feel the warm skin of your fingertips and watch the way your tongue stuck out of the side of your mouth as you concentrated on getting every line right.

"You like them?" you asked. "Like them? I fuckin' love them! You'll have to draw me some more stuff sometime" you couldn't help the smile that tugged at the corner of your lips. "Okay!" you said happily.

You glanced down at your watch, realizing you should have left at least fifteen minutes prior. "Shit. I'm gonna be late. My mom is gonna kill me" you mumbled. "I gotta go, but maybe I'll draw on you some more later" you got up off Eddie's bed before walking toward the door. "See you later" you said with a wave. "See ya" Eddie waved back before you turned and headed out of his trailer.

                                              ~

You didn't see Eddie for a few days after that. You had gotten busy with work, and he had gotten busy with school(a.k.a. hellfire club). The next time you saw him he had come over to your house.

It was late at night, and you had snuck Eddie in through your window. You talked in hushed whispers, trying to keep your giggles quiet every time Eddie made you laugh. After a bit he had finally pulled his jean jacket off and thrown it to the side. It hit your carpeted floor with a soft thump. "Oh please, just put that anywhere!" you joked, chuckling as your eyes wandered to Eddie's now bare arms.

Your laughter stopped abruptly as you noticed the bats you had drawn on Eddie's arm were still there. Had he really not showered in four days? You knew he wasn't the most hygienic guy, I mean you've seen his room, but he usually showered before seeing you. You remembered he had told you that after you teased him about not showering one time.

You didn't notice Eddie had stopped laughing and was looking at you with furrowed brows. You reached out and rubbed your thumb across one of the bats toward the bottom. Eddie smirked at your realization.

"I couldn't let those masterpieces go to waste. Besides, they matched anyway" Eddie said before you could speak. You looked up at him, noticing now that you must have leaned in closer. "I suppose I underestimated you when you said you loved them" you said with a quiet chuckle. "Haven't you learned not to underestimate me yet? There's nothing I won't do, sweetheart"

Sweetheart. The word echoed in your head as your eyes glanced down at Eddie's parted lips. You quickly looked back up at his eyes, hoping he didn't catch that, but the look on his face told you that he did.

His lopsided smile turned into a full on grin as his gaze admired all of you. You watched as his eyes scanned down your body. Even with your clothes on, you felt naked and venerable under his gaze. Your eyes were open wide like a deer caught in headlights.

Eddie laughed, a hand quickly coming up to cover his mouth to muffle the noises. "Don't need to look so scared, princess. I don't bite" you felt a shiver run up your spine at the pet name, and also at the close proximity as he leaned in to whisper in your ear. "Unless you want me to"

You couldn't take it anymore. You leaned back slightly so you could see Eddie's face, before you gripped the fabric of his already torn metallica tee and pulled him in. Your lips met in a messy kiss that was all tongue and clashing teeth. Eddie wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled you into his lap as you wrapped your arms around his neck. You continued to make out as your hands snaked their way into his long hair.

You started to get lightheaded, but you didn't want to stop. You could barely believe you were kissing Eddie, and you weren't planning on stopping anytime soon. Eddie pulled away for both of you though, leaning back as you both panted, trying to catch your breath.

"You have no idea how long I've wanted to do that" Eddie finally spoke, though he was still a bit breathless.

"Me too" you replied with a shy smile.

"How about tomorrow I take you out on a real date? And maybe you can draw me another tattoo" his grin made you melt, and you didn't hesitate before replying.

"I would love that" you leaned in and kissed him again, slow and sweet this time.

"Can I just stay the night? Please?" Eddie asked once you pulled away.

"I don't see why not. Just be prepared to jump out the window if one of my parents knock on the door" you said with as you stood to lock your door.

"Don't worry, sweetheart. After we almost got caught last time, I'm always prepared" Eddie said before you jumped back onto your bed, straddling his waist and pulling him close for another passionate kiss.

[kaddyssammlung]

I just read something that I wish I had not XD

Someone complaining about “the thirsting girls” in this fandom.

Even saying things like “they know about this stuff and they find it atrocious" (meaning the band). Oh dear. I do see things in a different way. Maybe just because I'm old or older. And also who told you how they feel about things?! If that is really the case then who are you?!

So...why did I decide to open a new tumblr last year?!

I've been lurking under the #sleep token for a long time. There were so many cool things and I wanted to contribute. One of the first things that I saw when I came looking for Sleep Token content when I came here first was all the “gay stuff”. You know what I mean. Vessel on top of iii. I was a bit confused first but then I thought things like...they are on stage and it's a show and also I don't know what their sexual orientation is.

Apart from that I actually was more interested in the lyrics and how others see the lyrics or what they read into them. I was very obsessed with the lyrics and the lore. With all the writing that I did that changed. My obsession faded. That's why I have this blog and also for personal reasons. I always like writing blog. That's something that I started in 2004 btw.

I started playing a round a little and wanted to know what you guys like meaning what gets more hearts or rebloggs and what does not. What I mean by this is, making gifs and finding pictures.

Well...just look at the most liked posts under #sleep token there is a lot of “thirsting”. But not exclusively. When I think about my post under that hashtag that has the most notifications on it then you could see this as thirsting?! Which I don't. It's the one where Vessel tries to draw something on his belly. It looked weird the first time that I saw it but then a few days later when more videos were released I could see that he was just trying to draw a heart. I did not know that.

But many other things I would call “playing with the audience and their expectations”. I mean Vessel on top of iii and the way that he grabs him. I can't help but laugh. I find this very entertaining.

Of course we make videos and gifs out of this or use it as inspiration to write fics.

I've been on stage many times. I danced when I was in school and I sang in the choir. It's nice to be on a stage and present yourself a certain way. Lord knows what I would to with that mic stand. Try to pole dance probably because of all the years that I danced.

Vessel was breathing heavily at the last festival they played while doing something to that mic stand...not me. I see nothing wrong that. It's called a performance.

A few years back I saw Marylin Manson live at a festival. I was waiting for Korn and not for him. He took someone's phone, made a few photos with it and then threw it backstage. That's a performance also. Strange example....I know...that was in 2007 or something like that.

They kind of feed us these things and we make something out of them.

That's how I see this.

And also, no I don't know if anyone is reading in here. I don't care. That's my blog and I write what I feel like.

I don't mean to attack anyone. We all view the world in a different way. I just felt like I had to say something.

And also I feel like there is a bigger "problem" behind all of this...that "problem" has something to do with society itself and what we are taught as women when it comes to sexuality. But that's a different topic.

I don't have a problem with "thirsting" in general. Some things I do find disrespectful though.

That's all...I guess.....

[just-a-carrot]

What is Our Wonderland? a.k.a. the dumpster fire that is my ace-themed queer horror game or something

Our Wonderland is a visual novel / horror game / horrific dating sim??? / mangled mess of Fucked Up chars reaching their 30s but not? understanding who they are?? and twisted grisly things happen???

It stars five childhood friends with a sEcReT—they opened a Magical Wish-Granting Wonderland in their youth (as one does). Twenty years later, however, they've all turned into barely functioning adults just trying to Get By™, each with their own Traumas exacerbated by their struggles to fit in to a cis- hetero- allonormative world (as well as Pining,,, lots and lots of unrequited Pining). Cue a Return to Wonderland. What could happen now that they're all Verifiable Messes with the power to wish for anything they want??? omg,,, maybe they'll eat each other or something wouldn't that be wild omg,,,

The Woobies

Iggy: Resident Ace Bean that has no idea what he wants and spends most of his time Confused and Overwhelmed and avoiding social situations like the plague; just wants to fit in and for everyone to be Happy™

Genzou: The loud-mouthed snarky Best Friend who loves his favorite pal so much dear god do not touch a hair on his god damn head or he will fucking murder you (definitely Not Gay why would you even think that shm,,,)

Orlam: Nobody likes him he's just kinda there accumulating more and more Debilitating Trauma dear fucking lord is this guy sad and lonely somebody please l-l-love him; forlorn bisexual who longs to be the Life of the Party (may or may not be a cannibal, who can say really,,,)

Gidget: Just your average girl who wants to be Perfect™; did not ever wear boys' clothes or have issues with her body and definitely was never made fun of when trying to use the restroom; likes Iggy perhaps a little bit Too Much

Bucks: Homecoming queen and softball star; has everything she ever wanted in life—a loving husband, a beautiful baby, and a lovely house with a white picket fence; skilled with an Axe

What You Can Expect From This Atrocity:

Around 288k words of Pure Unadulterated Pain (20 to 25 hours or something idk)

A ridiculous 520 CGs because I apparently Can't Stop Drawing

Some pretty sweet cinematic ending sequences I guess

A cool soundtrack??? I did not create it but I've been told it's Good so we'll just go with that

Gore mixed with feels mixed with moments that will make you want to RIP YOUR HEART OUT

A Strange and Deplorable art style that apparently grows on you or so I've been told

Gay people kissing or something

COMPLICATED LOVE SQUARES???

Horrible ace nightmares—BUT ALSO CATHARTIC ACE JOY???

Cannibalism

P.S. in case it wasn't obvious this game is rather Dark and contains many a horrible thing such as Murder, Torture, and the Eating of People (some of the arcs also tread somewhat heavily into Sexual Themes Territory, too, given all the overarching ace stuff), so please please please check the content warnings on the itch page before playing! It's def for mature audiences only.

Where You Can Download This Horrific Abomination From Hell:

Our Wonderland on itch.io (it's free omg!!111!!!!!1)

There's also some free side games ig:

Our Cinderella on itch.io

Our <<Fantastic>> Wonderland on itch.io

Texting the Awkward Ace Guy You've Had a Crush on Since High School on itch.io

Save the Last Dance on itch.io

if you have any questions i guess i can answer them that's how it works maybe.

ok I think that's it bye.

[softpine]

→ oc questions tag ←

tagged by @subtlefires thank you!! i haven't seen this tag before, so this was really fun 💖

i decided to do casper to make up for all the times i've chosen coco

→ 5 words to physically describe your OC (do you have a drawing? even better!) (since we already know what he looks like, i chose general descriptions and stole your moodboard idea hehe)

energetic, reliable, persistent, lacks confidence, sweet

→ Who inspired your OC?

at first, nobody. casper was meant to be the... not comic relief exactly, but a break from the heavy ghost/death/trauma stuff in the main story. but as he got older, i started putting so much more of myself into his character. without going into detail, i've learned things about my own family that makes me relate to casper's situation more than i thought i would when i came up with it. i never planned to go more in-depth about his biological father & half sisters because i thought, well, he has 2 loving parents and siblings he grew up with, why would he lose sleep over these people he's never met and is only connected to by blood? it was one of those things where i thought i knew how i would feel in that situation, but i never really knew until i knew. i wish i could say this is the only part of my life i've imparted on casper, but it's not 😅 casper is also the first character we've seen in college since beth, and my college experience was SO much closer to casper's than beth's. so like. it's me, i inspired casper fjksdjs

→ Give me a song to define your OC

soda by nothing but thieves // lyrics:

i once had a thought, but don't know where it went 'cause i've been living off soda and cheap cigarettes maybe when i was a kid i was dropped on my head yeah, that would make some sense

i don't want to be myself it's making me so unwell

→ If I met your OC on the street how would they greet me?

he doesn't make it a habit to greet strangers aside from a polite nod, but if he already knows someone he would loudly call out to them even if they're far away and it's embarrassing for everyone involved – that is, if he remembers them. he's really bad with names!

→ Can your OC be your best friend? Why?

oh yeah for sure. not so much now, but i was friends with so many jock types in high school. i think it's because once those guys find out i'm a lesbian they just treat me like a bro 😌 but they would tell me things they didn't think they could talk about with anyone else. i love being the friend everyone comes to with their problems because i'm telling people what they already knew but didn't want to admit, and making them feel like they came up with a solution all on their own. that's exactly what casper wishes he had in a friendship right now. also i want him to be my personal trainer!

→ 1 adjective and 1 noun to describe your OC

neurotic // i know this word is outdated, but i still use it for myself and i can't think of a better word to describe the way that he manages to be anxious about anything and everything. so much of his personality / habits / lifestyle were formed in response to anxiety (like, he was afraid of staying the same so he changed everything about himself all at once. he did so many sports and he exercises all the time because it keeps him busy. etc.) and the important thing is that most of his fears are totally irrational and not the more common worries people have, even other people with anxiety. it's not like "are my friends secretly mad at me?" it's "i'm going to walk to class today because i'm afraid i'll run someone over with my car" and things of that nature; things he knows are irrational, but that doesn't make them feel less real. but we'll get more into that later

toaster // LMAO... it's a ubiquitous household object you take for granted will always be there. you don't really know how it works on the inside, you just count on the fact that it will. you don't even take notice of it unless something is really wrong with it. but it's a tried and true part of a daily routine and you'd be really bummed if you lost it! tell your toaster you love them today sdjksjd

→ tagging: feels weird tagging anyone after i got so personal here lmao so if you see this and want to do it, consider yourself tagged!

[chrisgetsmewet]

Lost hearts

Pairing: chris× fem!reader

Summary: emmaline is obsessed with chris ever sense the 9th grade up until 12th grade. He doesnt feel the same though...

Warning: none

it's a series!!

"And. Done!" I had just finished off my outfit with some jeans and a fitted long-sleeved top with a white bow in my hair.

"Dont you think the bows a bit much" my friend said through the phone. We were on facetime for the first day back at school. the 12th grade to be exact.

"No, i think it'll draw his attention" i turn to the side checking myself out in the full body mirror in my room. I could just hear the attitude from the way she groaned.

"Are you really still on him, i mean girl theirs a whole bunch of people out there and you're still stuck on chris?"

"Thats a problem how?" I was confused, i know my crush on him has gone on for quite a while but i didn't wanna give this up until he knew I liked him, because i was the one who told him.

"I'll see you at school" i hang the phone up, grabing my backpack off the ground and walking downstairs to the kitchen.

That's where my mom was making breakfast

"Morning sweet girl" she chirped, my mom was such a morning person you'd think she's gotten more then 8 hours of sleep.

"Mornin"

"You gonna eat breakfast"

I observe what she's making waffles, eggs, bacon, hashbrowns, and she was cutting some fruit up.

"everything looks good but i really gotta go"

"Atleast try some" she reached out grabbing my hand before i left.

"Uh- ok" i took a waffle and a hasbrown off the plate

"Bye mom- oh bye dad" i saw my dad before heading out, walking out of his shared room with my mom buttoning up his shirt over the tank top he was wearing.

"Bye kiddo have a good first day" he waved before i closed the front door.

I finished the waffle in 4 bites and the hasbrown in 2 it was a lot to chew but i wasn't trying to walk around with food. It was so good. I wish i had time to eat. I was a few blocks from my house bringing me closer to school.

I take my backpack off my shoulders and dig in the small part of it for a piece of gum. I wanted. no needed to stay fresh.

-

"There, they are" i blurted out referring to nick, matt, and chris. I head over to them when they saw me. nick looked suprised, matt smiled, but i can't help but notice chris rolled his eyes.

"Hey guys!"

"Wassup em"

"Heyy"

They did notice my outfit. It's fine cause there's always tomorrow.

I start walking with them but walking next to chris, matt was in the middle and nick was on the end of matt.

"so chris you gonna tryout for lacrosse or hockey this year" i questioned smiling

"Whicheveri do better in" he says blankly before speeding his pace up and i speed my walking up as well.

"Did you know we have the first class together. Isn't that great" i was filled with excitement but he didn't reciprocate it, i mean who would it's a monday and super early also somewhere we don't wanna be. School.

"Maybe for you" he mumbles i guess he didn't want me to hear him but i did. and he isn't far off i mean i get to be with him for a total of 40 minutes thats amazing.

He went into the classrom and was walking to the back of the classrom so i guess thats where he was gonna sit. I say next to him.

"Are you just gonna follow me where i go" he sounded aggregated.

"Would you like to me?" I blinked at him. He furrowed his eyebrows and shook his head, before running his hands on his face then getting in his phone.

I take that as a no.

The class started and he was explaining stuff but I toned him out. Admiring chris, his features in particular, his side profile, the way his hair layed, how soft i looked i just wanted to run my fingers through them, his nose was so perfect and his pink lips that were never chapped i wonder how it would feel when we-

"What are you looking at" chris turned his head looking at me waiting for my answer. "I want an answer"

My cheeks were turning red i was embarrassed, what was happening was embarrising i was caught staring at him and i was chocked up.

"I-uh.. i was- just" i swallowed it was dry, i shouldn't even be this embarrassed cause it's not that serious

"Emmaline and Christopher am i interrupting something?" The teacher said standing infront of the calssroom with a few rules written on the board he must ahve been going over them but i was to focused on something else (chris) to notice. This made everyone look our way.

"No sir" i sunk in my seat tapping my pencil on the desk trying to avoid eye contact with anyone.

"Nope" chris replied paying attention to the teacher again.

-

It was the end of the day, some people were staying late for afterschool activities, i wasn't one of them i didn't really like doing anything i didn't have to. I saw chris and his brothers were staying afterschool so they must have been trying out for something.

I planned on going his way but he was talking to a group of guys and that alone is intimidating. I went along the rest of my day. My social battery was definitely dead and didn't need anymore conversations i am definitely in need of an after-school nap.

-

As soon as i got home i changed into more comfier clothes, cut my fairy light on, closed the blinds, and crashed on my bed. I stretched out moving around a bit then falling asleep.

I dont know how long i was out but the next thing you know my mom was waking me up for dinner.

"So how was you're day at school" my dad asked making his fork with a piece of asparagus hanging off of it point in my direction.

"It was okay." I rubbed my eyes a bit before getting to my senses and fully answering the question.

"Darling im sure he wanted to know more, actual details" she added smilingly softly at me "plus i wanna know too".

I cleared my throat, preparing for what i was gonna say.

"The breakfast or what i had of it was good-

i took a bite of my food and continued talking while covering my mouth.

"Umm.. i had 3 classes with chris and 1 with nick, the lunch was pretty mid."

I finished chewing and swallowed uncovering my mouth before finishing my sentence.

"Oh. i also had lunch with the triplets but i couldn't find leah so we didn't eat together. Overall my day was normal"

"Oh thats nice to hear" my mom rubbed my hand that was laying freely on the table.

"Was there any sports to try out for"

"Yeah but none of them were for me"

"You should really try and get more out there it's your last year of school, id make the most of it" he suggested.

I swallowed my food taking a sip of water, once again i found myself sinking down a bit, not filling good about my day anymore not that he was attacking me or anything-

"And i wouldn't wanna spend it obsessing over some boy" he added to what he was saying but more stern and straight forward.

"Dad.."

He shrugged and continued eating my mom dismissed herelf and started washing dishes, she knew how much i liked chris because all i did was talk about him.

I picked around with my food mixing my mashed potatoes with my carrots and peas, taking little bites of the food, but mostly playing around with it before excusing myself.

A/n: the end wasnt a gilmore girl reference. To me it seemed like one but i wasn't even thinking about gilmore girls at the time.

[camellia-salazar]

More Ed Edd n Eddy characters as ponies.

Not many people liked the last one, but that's ok. Thank you to the ones that did I really appreciate you. 👍💖✨ (I mean I've always appreciated you guys but I felt like actually saying it now)

Right now I'm going to be posting all the EEnE mlp related stuff as much as I can. And there are quite a lot. So here they are.

Kevin about to pound some dorks in a second.

Rolf explaining to Kevin about his stipe mark. It's genetic for the most part.

The Kanker Sisters with their respective Eds.

Thanks for reviewing my fan art. I love drawing these guys (especially as ponies) so if anyone have any suggestions or requests please holler. If not then I'm good.

Read more of you wish, there's a special announcement of my future posts down there somewhere. Just a little heads up tho, no biggy. Until next time fellas ✨👋

I almost forgot to include the pony discription.

Kevin: loves to fly just like any other pegasus, but prefers to ride his bike more. How can a pony ride a bike, you ask? Idk don't ask me, I'm still figuring out how they played the guitar. Whenever he isn't in his bike tho, he mostly flies, like how Rainbow Dash usually just flies in place in MLP.

His cutiemark is a bike tire with a blue flame. (I'm not too brainy when it comes to cutiemarks I'm afraid.)

Nazz: even tho she isn't on here, I felt the need to include her anyways. Her magic isn't as strong as the other two's (Double Dee or Marie) so instead she just uses her magic to carry stuff, which is fine. She isn't working to get into Celestia's School nor is she trying to learn to teleport so she could be with the colt she loves (like Marie). She's just chill.

Her cutiemark is a baseball bat with a baseball and two hearts. She can be pretty athletic in the show so why not?

Rolf: since his canon counterpart loves meat why not let him enjoy it too, fish meat for the most part tho. His pony kind is the only one that can eat meat. Nobody knows why. He still eats fruits and veggies of course, but mostly when he's with others.

His cutiemark isn't really shown in my fan art, but it's probably a pitchfork. Idk what else to add so let's say that for now.

---

Anyways, here's the heads up y'all. I don't think posting transparent art is a good idea anymore. Maybe I'll post those in an archive or something idk.

For now tho I'll be posting all the transparent stuff that involves the MLP Ed boys and others because it wouldn't be fair to post actual art of all the MLP/EEnE stuff on its own, when the first one has transparent with them.

So after the next few batch of EEnE/MLP fan art will have transparent but all the other fan art won't. After the last batch that's it for transparents.I'll be posting actual art together after that. For now tho I've got these. Thank you for reading the update for my blog, have a great day/night y'all. 🌟👋

Next up I'll be taking about Sarah, Jimmy, Jonny and Plank.

[r1ddly]

I know your doing more Spiderverse stuff rn, but do you have any like... Random facts about your captain boomerang? I'm just curious.

YES OMG ID LOVE TO TALK ABOUT MY BOOMERANGE!!!! IVE ACTUALLY BEEN THINKING ABOUT HIM LIKE CRAZY

I'll just list off shit about him I find interesting :]

He's mixed (just like me! :D) and is part aboriginal! His father was a business man and had a fling with his mother (her being aboriginal) and after hearing she gave birth to him not wanting to get in trouble with his wife he took boomer from his mother and her family and raised him secretly. Wasn't till his mid teens did he start to reconnect with his mother and grandfather.

He REALLY likes stinky foods, stinky cheeses, pickled foods, sardines, onions. Bitch smells bad LMAO

He's actually very smart, while unlike his other teammates (polka-dot man, Harley, ect) he's not a scientist or anything he is really smart when it comes to machinery and is a freaky skilled mechanic.

Like his canon counterpart he too also has a son, he had him when he was super young with a girl he had a huge crush on in high-school. After giving birth she put him up for adoption without telling him and he's been very remorseful about the whole situation. He doesn't really want kids but he also wishes he could have met his kid, he would have done his best to be there

Dropped out of college. That's about it LMAO

Has a lot of internalize issues that he does seek some help for, has a whole entire character arc at some point

He has a fear of small dogs

Has a lot of scars that he says he got in battle but in fact he got them through odd accidents

Has heterochromia (one blue one brown)

Has a slight astigmatism but won't admit it

He gets scared EXTREMELY easily and he over reacts EVERYTHING

Likes transformers

While he does often say insensitive stuff and is quite a rude person he's usually respectful in new environments like if you ever invited him to your house for dinner for the first time he's pretty respectful and well put together but he's still an extremely blunt person

Going back to him being very smart, I feel that people underestimate him considering his gimmick and his personality but like he's a smart guy and if you just explain things to him in a calm manner he'll understand your points immediately.

He's extremely stubborn but he's trying to be open minded to new things

I think that's all the fun facts I have in mind atm LMAO btw I greatly apologize for not answering your asks and stuff like don't worry I see them and everything and I've been trying to draw boomer for you but for some reason god hates me and it's been oddly hard to draw this bitch LMAO

[morganwrites12672]

i just saw your post about asking for x reader requests and i wanted to know if you’d be comfortable writing a gareth x reader with autism?

i’m someone who has nervous tics where i pick at my skin, my fingers specifically, and i get very overwhelmed and overstimulated at places like concerts, malls, large crowded places like that

if not then feel free to ignore this :)

Ofc! Thank you for including details! In past requests people haven't! Also, if I do an okay job feel free to request more! So, I just did a headcannon, but if you want me to do an actual fic give me a situation type thing (I don't know something you would prefer, of a past situation that you wished your fictional bf would have been there)

Gareth x Autistic!Reader

If Gareth say you start picking at your fingers he would hold your hand. Anything to take your mind off of it.

He would take you out to lovers lake to watch the stars. And you both go on drives a lot.

He knows you couldn't handle going to one of the concerts for the band he is in, so he usually tries to suggest you could go to a practice

If he ever saw you getting nervous at school, hd would just ditch with you. Maybe hiding in a classroom until you were ready, or he would take you on a drive somewhere. Driving helps him clear his head so he likes to do it with you.

If you ever get overstimulated he would try to help verbally. Maybe playing drums, trying to draw you, reading to you.

He would love you for who you are.

I don't see him as the type who was into the stuff like malls, skating, stuff like that.

He would be a little sad that you couldn't go to concerts with him, or to see Corroded Coffin

He definitely brings you to every practice. Every single one.

And he always plays a new song for you before any of the guys.

He's quiet and patient for you, tries to do what you need.

He would give you a piece of jewelry he had to help center you if you ever get nervous and he isn't around (it happened one time and only because he had a really bad flu and wasn't willing to get you sick)

He is clingy, not just the physical type. If you get to overstimulated he would either back off or just be in the same room.

[thesoleilla]

Day 11: Poetry, Art, Music, Craft

Masterlist Fandom: Tomodachi game

Ship: Yuuichi x Reader

Warning/notes: established relationship

Reminiscing of the past. Did you ever really know how your lover was towards somethings? You wished to ask him, when he came back.

I.Poetry

Did Yuuichi ever write Poetry outside of school? No.. that didn't seem coherent to you, this simple boy wouldn't do that. Was what you'd have answered before just now, cleaning his house, looking into his drawer and finding what looked like poetry. Only problem was most of it was torn up, crossed out or just... very messy.

The parts you got to understand were messy, dark...and something about friendship? You definetely had to ask him about that when he came back. If he came back

II. Art

You didn't think Yuuichi had ever been a very artistic person. But you were already proved wrong by looking at the last drawer; so you theorized he probably got good enough to make some money of it.

When you opened another, you were proved wrong again; but it wasn't the worse.

The dark poetry from earlier.. and now this? You had to have a talk with him... when you'd see him again. Because he wouldn't just leave for no reason right?

You found drawings that looked like what some police officers show as proof of killers' premeditation of their acts. Not what you'd expect coming from the sweet guy you knew.

Concern filled your thoughts.

III. Music

As you tried to find more art forms which could somehow bring you to an explanation for all this, you stumbled upon music. Finally, a happy memory.

You remembered the first day you moved in together, "for rent prices" you both said.

You were in the living room with him, to help him with some work, and since the silence was getting uncomfortable for you, you put on some music.

The both of you humming to a song he didn't even know, together, no words, just closeness.

You missed him so much.

IV. Craft

After cleaning his room, you decided to do a bit of cleaning on your part too. Until you found such a fond memory of him.. a memory of his confession... to you.

Yuuichi had always been good with his hands, because you had to be fast at creating stuff if you wanted a decent amount of money. He had taught you all of his crafting tricks a while ago, and you were able to notice them all, normally.

However, this was of a different kind. It had none of the tricks to make it look perfectly crafted in no time, none to make it look stable when in reality it'd fall apart a day after it was bought. No, it didn't look perfect, but it looked like Yuuichi. Exactly like him. And that, was way better than some faked perfect in your eyes.

Yuuichi's hand-made rose.

You remembered everything.

The crafted rose, the confession, his genuine smile, the look in his eyes.

Even so long after, the rose was still strong as ever, still as flawed, still as perfectly unperfect, still so Yuuichi.

If the people he was with right now knew about that, they'd laugh at his face.

You wished for him to make an appearance so much.

@flufftober

Finally Yuuichi crafting roses is here 😭😭 writing for tomodachi is so hard jut so pleasing aah I love it

Ps: talking about tomodachi, can we agree the new kei panels we got this chapter (105) were absolutely perfect?? Kei best boi