#i started to read the spanish copy i had to practice my spanish but then my eyes started to glaze over and i started to convulse

[proteuus]

okokok I found the perfect most BEAUTIFUL copy of the secret history to replace my other one but its just to have no one let me read it or I'll go rabid

[ohoh-inmortal]

A Good man

💀Summary: A mission in Mexico doesn't go according to plan and you end up saving two children's lives. Ghost lets the vulnerability he had hidden so much slip a bit.

💀Pairing: Ghost x F!Reader

💀Warnings: canon typical violence, angst, fluff, established relationship situationship, children!, Ghost being an emotional wreck, passionate lovemaking (blink and you'll miss it)

A/N: so this was originally half a chapter of a fanfic that I'm gathering the concentration to finish but I wanted to post something so here you go lol. If more people like it I might follow it up from here or just make a part 2.

Also this is no beta read and English is not my first language so if you see some grammar mistakes no you didn't.

Fucking with cartels had never been easy, but now you had fucked up. Your mission was to infiltrate a neighborhood in a town near Las Almas and the rest of the team would follow up to take down one of their bases and get closer to capture their leader.

The first part went smoothly, until you noticed the civilians practically fleed the neighborhood in an instant and lots of cars full of armed men coming.

You had managed to make it past the Neighborhood into the rural area. Your legs burned from running so fast and for so long, there was a pressure in your chest from agitation and your lungs were full of the familiar smoke of dirt, gunpowder, and blood. The noise of war around you made it hard to concentrate on where you were going.

Ghost was some feet away from you, into an abandoned construction and directed you to stop and cover. Your body was grateful for the break.

"We need to get outta 'ere as fast as we can. These bastards won't give up" he had to speak on the radio, as you were hiding in different places of the construction.

"Roger that"

"Let's move" he ordered.

But as you grabbed your weapon closer to you, prepared to run again, you heard a shuffle between the pieces of wood that you were sure had been a closet before.

Warily, you got closer as your hand rested on the gun on your thigh; ready to shoot if someone jumped. As you tore open the door, you were found with runny noses and two little bodies hugged tightly. The oldest on was maybe about 7 years old, and the youngest could have been older than 3 years old.

"Ghost, you copy? There are children in here" You spoke on the radio again, shocked.

"Children?!"

"There's two, they were hidden. I need help to take them to safety!" You said desperately.

"Negative. They're shooting at us, hunting us. It's too dangerous, both for them and for us"

Just as he ended that sentence, you started hearing explosions and guns again. They were near and you felt your heart sink. How were you going to leave those two poor kids scared and alone to die?

"I need you to come with me, I'm gonna make sure you are safe, okay?" You said to them as softly as you could in spanish.

The older one just nodded and you caged them in your arms, running outside. There you met Ghost, who as soon as he saw you with both children shook his head in disapproval but grabbed one in his arms nonetheless.

Soon you reached the extraction point, where an agitated Alejandro and Rudy were waiting outside the SUV and you could see the confusion on their faces.

"What the hell?" Alejandro whispered "We checked the area, and there were no civilians"

"They were hidden in an abandoned house" you explained "I couldn't let them there" you shook your head.

Alejandro just nodded and opened the door for you. On the other side, Ghost also sat in the backseat and Rudy got into the driver's seat.

The children's little bodies began to shake and tears left a clear path on their dirty cheeks, so you embraced one in each arm and rubbed their backs and arms encouragingly.

Ghost stared intensely at you, though you couldn’t figure out if he did it with admiration like Alejandro and Rudy or disapproval. Maybe none, maybe a mix of both. But the fact that he had such intense eyes plus his mask didn't help to calm the children.

He sensed it, so he moved closer to the door and away from you and the children, promising himself he would stop. He was used for people to fear him, the feeling should be nothing new yet something inside of him died when the fear in someone else's eyes reflected on his own.

He hadn't always been like this.

You noticed the kids staring at him warily.

"You must not fear him, he's a good man," you said to the kids in Spanish as you gazed at him "He protected you, he carried you here, remember?"

They nodded and their gaze softened on the soldier.

A knot formed on his throat and he had to tear his eyes from you and look away to the window. How, after all he has done, could he be a good man? Hadn't he killed thousands, a lot of them innocents and foreign to war like these children? How could you even dare to think he was good? You must be either blind or insane, he thought.

As soon as the truck stopped at the base he got out straight as a bullet to his room. He couldn't bear to see you now, he couldn't bear for you to see him like this; he was scared that accidentally he could let a bit of his tarnished soul slip and see the light of you.

In the meantime, you were in charge of the children so the team could do research to know who their parents were and what they would do with them.

You cleaned and fed them, and kept them distracted from the horrors they had lived just a few hours ago. Playing, drawing and reading tales with both until the sun went down and their tired round faces started to yawn. The older kid quickly fell asleep on the couch, but the youngest one extended his arms for you to grab them up.

His head was still a mess of fresh emotions and deeply set wounds, but he knew he couldn't just stay there for eternity. What he didn't expect was to see you pacing in the hallway quietly humming a lullaby, holding a small body against your own and caressing the messy-haired head on your chest.

You placed the youngest kid next to the other and when you noticed him, your gaze softened into almost a smile.

"Are you alright? We haven't seen you since we arrived here" you asked concerned.

"How are they?" He changed the subject away from him, and he sounded concerned too.

"They are fine, we played all afternoon so they got tired. Alejandro is looking for their parents or relatives" you explained, gazing at them.

He just nodded and silence flooded the room. You reached for your pocket and pulled out a folded paper, which you extended to him.

"They made this in the afternoon, they wanted to give it to you but we didn't find you"

He delicately grabbed the paper and his breath hitched when he saw it; It was a doodle of him in his mask smiling, and you, each kid grabbing one of your hands. In one of the corners, the phrase "I'm not scared of ghosts anymore" was written in wobbly letters and grammatical errors.

He traced his hand over the drawing, like if it was going to vanish any time, like he couldn't believe it was real.

You stepped closer to him and searched for his eyes, which were full of emotion. You knew he didn't like much physical contact but you couldn't find another way to show him how grateful you were without scaring him for good, so you softly placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Thank you," you said in a small voice "Truly…for helping me to rescue them. I know I should've followed your orders but…"

"You don't need to apologize," he assured in a deep voice. I'm glad you didn't follow them, he almost added.

"I wasn't going to" you smirked.

You hated how unpredictable he was, how he looked at those he hated and those he didn't in the same intense way. When you saw his eyes linger too much on your lips you knew you were part of the second group.

With a small tug on your arm he pulled you closer to him as he kissed your lips over his balaclava.

You stumbled until you reached his room and as soon as both were inside he pulled the balaclava up until his lips were uncovered.

His kisses were hungry, not in a lustful way but in an emotional way. Like he needed something to ground himself and that something was your lips. Your hands found his face, caressing it so tenderly it made him hug you closer to his body.

You parted from his lips a bit, catching your breath. Still, you gazed at him for a moment.

"You are so good, Simon" you whispered sincerely, your hands still gently on his face.

His hand traveled from your waist to the back of your neck, and he pushed to kiss you again this time deeper. Soon his hands started to wander and you ended up naked with his towering body hovering yours.

It was the most sensual and passionate you both have ever been. Slow, yet powerful and deep. The way he grabbed and hugged you hard but also caressed you so softly. His head buried in the crook of your neck and his hips between your legs, which were caging his waist as tightly as your hands did with his back and shoulders.

That, until he remembered how you make him feel. The confusion and frustration you brought along into his life, the vulnerability he had deprived himself for so long. His thrusts became rougher, but he couldn't bring himself to be cold or distant with you. Not after today, not after you were so gentle even when he didn't deserve it.

His hips stutter and by the way you moaned into his ear he knew you were close too. Your foreheads met as he buried himself deeply within you and you gasped when you felt waves of pleasure through you.

He hovered over you, his eyes intensely didn't miss a second of your face.

"What?" You asked.

Of course, he didn't respond, instead laying beside you. You sat on the bed, ready to get your clothes and leave in silence.

"Stay"

"Hmm?" you asked, not sure of what he said.

"You can stay if you want" he ran a hand through his messy hair, trying to hide his face.

"Don't you mind they might see me coming out of your room in the morning?"

"No," he simply answered.

You gave him a little smile and lay down again.

[hoe4sports]

“My heart recognized you before my mind did”

Caroline Graham Hansen x reader

A/N: No triggers. Rewritten 31st of May. You are a playing assistant coach. Basically a player with more knowledge.

The sun was blaring in the Spanish sky which caused your sweat to pour. It was particularly hot because you weee busy placing the gear you had planned to use this session for the attackers. It looked like something close to the world championship of materials. It devastatingly hot as the Spanish sun was going towards record breaking heat. The attackers came out, all of them looking as ready as ever. You had already analysed them which meant that you knew each of their weaknesses. “Fridolina, Salma and Claudia; group up to the left.  Caroline, Mariona and Bruna; group up to the right.” You ordered, and the girls split up eager to see what you had planned for today. “We are doing drills, left to right, up towards east, strike three times, across the field and return. 1-2-3, let’s go!” You yelled as the girls got into action. Caroline caused you to take special notice of her. She was taller than you, and you had read about her. You went to talent camp together as teens. You always thought that she was into girls, but she was very private. Even back then! Nonetheless, she was stunning. Her hands were large, and her rarely shown smile was contagious. 

“Alright girls, I want you to group up.” You announced after 15 mins of intensive practice. The girls fell to the grass pacing, trying to catch their breath. “Now, this feeling is what we will feel on the pitch during the last 10 minutes. We are gonna push through it. Watch me, and copy it until I call quits.” You ordered as you did a series of cordinating moves as a ran between poles and over blocks. When you finished the round, you pulled my t shirt off your tanned skin as it was once again, recording breakingly hot. Everyone started doing the exercise, and you started looking at Fridolina while making notes of what she needed support on. You turned around and catches Caroline glancing at you. “Caroline? Are there questions? Are you okay?” You said as the tall girl shook her head and started doing the exercise. You shook yournhead, and started taking notes once again. 

Later that day, you spotted her staring at you. In the cafeteria, during the pre-match meeting and during the gym session. You decided that you were over it when you and Ingrid was walking to her car, and you catched her stare again. “What’s her deal?” You asked Ingrid, and she shrugged. “I’m not too sure, she isn’t normally this awkward. “ she suggested and you brushed it off as we got into Ingrid’s car.

Over the next months, this weird thing with Caroline kept happening. You would notice her staring, but whenever you talked to her she would get all stuttery. As she was getting weirded, me and the other girls were getting closer. You were also marking my spot as a playing assistant trainer when Jonathan on multiple occasions had me be a stand in during practice. This caused you to develop a close knitted relationship to quite a few of the girls, but Ingrid, Mapi, Alexia and Lucy were of the closest. Lucy would often flirt with me, and you thought it was hilarious. Over the next 6 months, we grew closer. Like sisters, she would tease you. and you would kick her ass in practice.

After a very particularly hard practice, you were clearing the pitch for equipment as the girls had already headed home for the day. You had turned the music on full and you were listening to “Typisk norsk å være god». It was blasting out on full volume and you felt like you were having the time of your life. It was friday, and you were feeling ready for Lucy’s birthday weekend shenanigans.

“Uhm, listen, Y/F/N-“ a female voice begun but was quickly shut down by your shrieks of horror as your heart went from 50 to 180 in the span of 1 second. “GRAHAM, you scared me!” You yelled as the tall brunette was walking awkwardly towards you, almost resembling a baby giraffe.  The girl was rubbing her neck while staring into the grass. “I just, ehm, regarding, you know-“ she stuttered. “Oh my, whenever you are ready” I stated as an ironically looked at my sports watch. “Never mind” the brunette stuttered as she was turning her tall frame and walked towards the warderobe. You could see the girls staring from the tunnel, and you knew that they had put her up to this.

You sighted as you felt forced to try to catch up to her, considering your 38 cm height difference. “Caroline, wait up.” You cooed at her as you were shortening the distance by the second. You catched her as she entered the now empty team warderobe. She sat down underneath her cubby with her name and face printed on the wall with her hands rubbing her knees. You could tell that she was nervous, that made you feel flattered. “Let’s try again shall we?” You said as you sat down on the physio bench in the middle of the room, but still in front of her. She still looked down with her serious face. She always has a serious face, that’s her thing. Stone cold, hard working and dedicated. You dangled your feet on the physio bench as you pointed towards her picture on the wall. “You see that girl?” You started, as she shot a quick gaze towards where you were pointing. “I think she is hard working, dedicated, confident and very passionate.” You stated while staring at her picture in awe as a you smiled lovingly. “Now, what seems to be the issue for this hard working girl?” You repeated. “Strugglig with your right to left transitions?” You suggested. “What, no!” She stated, knowing that you knew that her transitions were always perfect.

“I just-listen Y/F/N. I’m not very good with talking to new people. But I was trying to remember where I have seen you before, because I’m confident that I have seen you but I can’t seem to-“ she said as her speech was picking up the pace. “Statoil talentleir” you smiled as you let out a small laugh. “I remember, who could ever forget those a girl with eyes like the sea during the biggest of storms?” You smiled, and she looked down again as she blushed. You could see that she was hiding a grin, and you smiled again looking back on the memory. “It was around 2012, you were 17. I was around 13. You had your stilly little hairband across your forehead and I pulled it. It smacked your forehead and you had a bright purple spot for the whole camp.” You stated as a let out a chuckle.

The thing was, that you were younger than her. She was 1995, and you were 1999. That didn’t stop you though, as you liked my women older. “Are you going to Lucy’s birthday dinner tonight?” You asked to break the silence as you realised that we were running out of time and you had no intention of missing out on a chance to party. “I’m not sure..” Caroline shyly stated, and you stood up. “Well.” You said as a reached your hand out. “I want you to come, Caz” you said as your new nickname for the tall framed girl slipped. She smiled softly “as you please, coach” she chuckled as her smile lit up the room. 

[study-with-aura]

Wednesday, February 21, 2024

Geometry was a problem today. I do not know what was going on as sometimes my answers would be correct and then somehow on the next question, my answers were wrong. Ratios have never been my favorite to begin with, but I know that I will have to review this lesson and maybe check different resources to see if they help me understand the formula for solving better because I am doing something wrong. I only wish I knew what it was.

Maybe I should start using pencil for my geometry practice, but then it would not stand out as well. I like color coding. It helps. Or perhaps use scratch paper and then once I have it figured out, I can copy it back into my notebook so I don't have to waste my wite-out. I was so frustrated that I nearly ruined the tape on the wite-out! I fixed it, but frustration was so real today!

I wish Julien were here. He could explain it easily to me. He's very good at math. It's days like this that I miss the ease of simply going over to his study space and asking for help.

Tasks Completed:

Geometry - Reviewed distance and midpoint formulas + learned to partition line segments + practice

Lit and Comp II - Reviewed Unit 16-18 vocabulary + read chapter 25 of Emma by Jane Austen + read the news + copied examples of poetic devices in use

Spanish 2 - Read answers from yesterday out loud to my dad and submitted the assignment for grading (30/30) + practice quiz body and face terms

Bible I - Read Joshua 13-14

World History - Read timeline for the final four days before the start of WWI

Biology with Lab - Read about human impact + read about human impact on wildlife + watched a lecture video on human impact

Foundations - Read more about punctuality + completed Lumosity daily brain workout + learned about Texas sharp shooter and middle ground fallacies + reviewed all fallacies learned

Piano - Practiced for one hour

Khan Academy - Completed High School Biology Unit 9: Lesson 7 (parts 5-8) + Completed High School Geometry Unit 6: Lesson 2 (parts 1-3) (assigned)

CLEP - None today

Duolingo - Studied for 15 minutes (Spanish, French, Chinese) + completed daily quests

Reading - Read pages 137-174 of My Dear Henry: A Jekyll & Hyde Remix by Kalynn Bayron

Chores - None today

Activities of the Day:

Extracurricular robotics course

Personal Bible Study (Romans 8)

Ballet

Variations

Journal/Mindfulness

-

What I’m Grateful for Today:

I am grateful to have made it through geometry today!

Quote of the Day:

I don't have a feeling of inferiority. Never had. I'm as good as anybody, but no better."

-Katherine Johnson

🎧Symphony No. 1 in E Minor - I. Allegro ma non troppo - Florence Price

[somethingusefulfromflorida]

My entire Spanish novel collection

I'm not a huge fan of George Orwell, but I read both Animal Farm and 1984 in high school so I know they're short and easy to read. They'll be good practice.

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy is by far my favorite series of all time. None of the four (yes, four. Not five, not six, but four) are favorites by themselves, but taken as a whole I have yet to find anything more entertaining.

Jurassic Park is fun but VERY dry (as is Crichton's style). He has a lot of "look at all the research I did" exposition dumps, which I liked as a teenager but don't much care for now. If nothing else, I'll learn plenty of scientific vocabulary from Parque Jurasico.

The Martian is one of my favorite books of all time, tied for first with two titles below. I've read it a dozen times, I know it forwards and backwards. El Marciano was the first Spanish book I ever bought back in 2021, and I couldn't parse more than one word in ten. My reading comprehension has improved tremendously since then, and now I can read almost the entire thing (if I don't understand a certain passage, I know from memory of the English version which part I'm at in the story and can limp along without getting frustrated or confused)

The Road is one of the few books that has made me cry. Let me leave it at that.

The Time Traveler's Wife is another favorite tied with The Martian. I read all the other books on this list in high school or college, but I didn't pick this one up until relatively recently. I am currently in the process of reading La Mujer del Viajero en el Tiempo for the first time, and like The Martian I am able to use my knowledge of the English version to cross the gaps I don't yet understand.

World War Z is the third of the three way tie for favorite. I wanna say I read it for the first time in 2011 or 2012. It was before the movie came out, and I remember taking it with me to read at church camp one summer (it was a long bus ride to North Carolina, and I had to hide it from the chaperones all week). Every time I reread it, I pick up on some new aspect I missed the first dozen times around, so I'm excited to see if I come to any revelations in Spanish.

Books I want to get

Artemis and Project Hail Mary by Andy Weir

Devolution by Max Brooks

Redshirts by John Scalzi

A family friend of mine moved to the United States from Honduras in her late 20s and learned English in part by watching Sesame Street with her kids, so I want to get Spanish versions of the Hunger Games trilogy and the five Percy Jackson and the Olympians books because I figure YA novels might help me learn Spanish easier than adult fiction. Right now I'm looking for simple titles that I'm already familiar with, but eventually I want to start buying Spanish books I've never read in English so I can fly without a net. My background is in Latin American Spanish, specifically Cuban Spanish, but my copy of El Marciano is European, so it shouldn't make too much of a difference which translations I buy (just so long as I keep series grouped together in sets so they're all the same)

[bunnygirl678]

20 questions for fic writers

i felt like doing one of these lmao

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

30! Which most of them are for Nameless lmao

2. What's your total A03 word count?

304.751, about to go up again lol, probably another 80k in this month, 268,863 have been in 2023, lol. I spent a large portion of time not writing, but after my breakup this year I've started writing frequently again.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Right now really just pokemon, if something else comes to me I'll write it, I'm working on a dragon ball z fic, but I don't touch it a ton.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

This is sad for me cause they all suck. I wrote them late high school early college, and they're all based on the Avengers movies (although one i think may have been the comics) it's a huge fandom, and I've had them up for 10 years so (god it's been that long already???) All of my good marvel 616 fics are missing, buried in a discord that I don't have access to anymore and word docs from a computer long since recycled

But in order, I feel Salem, Astronaut, Almost Honest, Wicked Games, The Whole World Was Moving But I was Standing Still (God what was with my names then lol)

Please don't read them haha

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I try to! Sometimes I miss them, but I try to respond when I see them, even a few weeks/months later. I really appreciate comments, and I feel like I've made some friends through them, or at least they comment on stuff I write, and I can reference my other fics to them lol, though they can totally make friends on here or discord, happy to talk to anyone. I've had people tell me I inspired them to write which is seriously the highest honor.

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

ummmm prolly the one where Tony dies after Steve cheats on him, I think that one is 616 based, but don't quote me, or go read it, the writing is...undeveloped, I think at that point I just started writing them, my characterizations weren't great, they got better but none of that is available lol

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Ummmmm maybe Ode to my Soulmate? I can't do sad endings for the most part, my philosophy is real life sucks so I always try to make happy endings, Frank Left has a nice ending, that one gets almost no love, but I adore it.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I'm not good enough/big enough to get hate, lmao. Smaller fandom now, i think there might be some negative comments on the marvel ones but I haven't read those in yearsss.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I'm trying, Oral Fixation is my most recent published, but I'm working on one where Green gives Red a blowie in his Neo Champ uniform from masters, i've been writing that since the neochampion uniforms came out months ago ahha. I'm not great at smut, but I'm practicing, fun fact I learned how to give a bj through fanfics, and used to get compliments all the time in my younger sluttier years lol (Pre-kid haha)

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

Not anymore, I used to do 101 dalmatian crossovers lol, i doubt any are published, maybe on fanfic.net but i don't even remember my username haven't touched that since like 2011, i used to do x-men crossovers where various characters would have mutant powers, but i doubt those are published either.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I don't think so? I'm probably too small to get that kind of notice. I always welcome people to steal my aus and write their own fic with it (not copy paste my stuff, but write out the au the way they come up with with their own words)

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

I doubt it, but anyone can, I might end up translating one or two when I finally start learning a new language, or maybe improve my output on spanish (i can read it but not write/speak/listen well lmao)

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yeah but this was high school and I don't think we ever posted them, again might be on fanfic.net, but like I don't even remember my username

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

I don't have a favorite, maybe reguri, or 616!stony which i don't read much anymore but will always hold a place in my heart, my oldest ship is probably rougexgambit

15. What's the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Blood Bank- but only because there is no ending, I'm going to continue that thing for the rest of my life, (at least quarterly updates lol although working on a new chapter now), there's also a reguri one that i wrote like 10k words on after i first started writing again, but it sucks ass, I don't love the plot to rewrite, I've written a lot more better stuff for them

16. What are your writing strengths?

I feel like I do pretty well with hints/twists. Certain characters I'm really good at writing, feel like I've gotten really good at world building, and coming up with off the wall aus. IDK i'm not good at pointing out my strengths.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Everything not listed above? Lol. No, probably missing edits and not noticing them until I'm reading the fic months later, I'm getting better at pacing and general flow, sometimes I overdo it on dialog, and leave out movement. Smut too, but i'm working on everything, the key is to just keep writing, also too many fics going at once,

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I typically don't do it unless I know the language, I'll just put it in english and say they said it in whatever lang. So like for Kalos I just say they're speaking Kalosian lol

19. First fandom you wrote for?

I used to tell stories with 101 dalmatians, but the first I ever actually wrote was from Stargate SG-1, I was like 10ish, I didn't post it, it's long since been trashed, but I was obsessed with Carter/O'neil and wanted them to adopt Cassie (i think that was her name, it's been years since I watched that show), first published is probably x-men i remember writing phoenix's force fics and posting on fanfic, might have done a ginnyxdraco for harry potter. These would be on my old fanfic.net or possibly livejournal, i don't remember,

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

I write all my fics for myself, so i really love them all, and go back and reread them often lol

Unfinished, Under the Alolan Sun and Blood Bank, those are my passion projects, I have fun writing them,

finished, either The Most Expansive Collection of Champion Red Merch in All of Kanto (probably one of my least angsty lol) or How to Beat Champion Red at Something (my silly little ficlet about Red being a picky eater, i just giggle when i reread it)

Ode to My Soulmate is also up there.

[pumakaji64]

if you have any good resources for learning Mexican-Spanish dialect PLEASE share!! im mixed race and would be far more interested in learning spanish if it was the kind my dad grew up speaking yknow?

Oh hi-! I'll be real I'm not super fluent in Spanish- I wasn't taught it growing up and haven't started on any sort of like... actual education yet- nor do I have any like official resources I'm afraid... BUT I do have some advice!!!!!!!!

When my mother was learning English she told me that she listened to a lot of English music and it helped her a lot! I do a similar thing, I'll watch shows in Spanish, Spanish videos online, read Spanish text, or listen to music in Spanish and follow along using with English translations! It can be really intimidating at first, but I ended up picking up a lot of Spanish overtime this way! You hear or see certain words repeated enough and the meanings stick more and more!

Like for example recently I found a Spanish voice over of a show called The Haunting Hour that I used to watch when I was younger, and so since I already knew the general plot of the episodes I was able to follow along decently well even without subtitles! (Though I wouldn't start with that- they talk SUPER fast lol)

I also try to focus on the way things Sound when they are said and try to "parrot" them- I'll listen to words over and over until I can vocally copy the pronunciation. Even though I'm not completely fluent I've had people compliment my pronunciations saying they wouldn't have guessed that I'm not.

For Mexican dialects specifically look into Mexican shows or dubs, Mexican singers, works made by Mexicans, or Mexican creators online! I will say though to keep in mind Mexico is a big place and the Spanish spoken there has a LOT of different dialects!

This is kind of a "throwing yourself in the deep end" sort of technique so before doing that I'd get familiar with basic Spanish words and grammar- things like basic nouns, verbs, sentence structure- those sorts of things. Learning things like think, see, why, how, have, feel etc. help so much when you are just starting out.

Another really helpful tip is: speak to Spanish speakers!!! My mother is Honduran and she has been such a big help as she is the only fluent Spanish speaker in my immediate family! While we clash on our... opinions lol... regarding Mexican Spanish she's helped me understand it too since she's heard a lot of it from my dad's family. She's almost always the first person I turn to regarding any questions I have with Spanish.

I also have friends online who are fluent in Spanish too and they've also been great help! There's been many times where I've misused or misunderstood a phrase and they've been there to correct me LOL

Also don't feel afraid to look up things like unfamiliar words or phrases- that can be really helpful for stuff that can't be accurately translated into English! This won't be just the case with slang or really specific words either- a word translated a certain way in one context could be translated differently in another even something seemingly simple like "bueno" and it's conjugations.

I've tried language learning apps and stuff before and while I'm sure they work well for some people and would recommend trying some out I've just never fully gelled with those kind of tools. Though I will say the website Spanishdict.com has been a consistently big help for me! ... and to be fair I'm really bad at forming habits and sticking to those apps lol

And the biggest piece of advice I can give: Don't feel discouraged!!!

Learning a language is tough- but it's never too late to learn! I only started trying to seriously learn more Spanish like 3 years ago and every now and then I have to remind myself that I've come a long way since then!

... Also practice rolling your r's- it's the tip of the tongue to the roof of the mouth- fast fluttering motion- it'll be intimidating at first but keep practicing and you'll get it- and once you get it just know it's fine if it doesn't sound 'nautral' at first- the longer you do it the easier it becomes to roll r's without it sounding forced.

I hope that helps anon!!!!!!!!

[seyaryminamoto]

Hey! Not related to your story but rather to your native language. Do you’ve got any tips for learning Spanish in a (possible) fast way? Any sites or recommendations for learning techniques? Anything that makes it easier.

That would help me a lot. Gracias 🙏

Related to my previous ask. Any tips how to learn the right pronunciation?

For efficiency's sake, I piled both asks into the same one, haha.

In all honesty... learning a new language is kind of particular to each person. Some people respond to some methods, some to others. The most popular current method to learn a new language is Duolingo, I have parents who are unhealthily hooked on it (?) (okay but for real, they keep going to war with total strangers to stay in the top 3 of the diamond league or something?? who'd have thought my parents would join anything that feels like a battle royale game... certainly not me!). But for some people, it might be easier to take a proper class with human instructors rather than a green owl (?)

Personally, I learned English extremely early in life, which made it so I picked it up and never really put it down. The great, sophisticated method through which I learned... was watching TV in English as a little kid :'D I couldn't watch Disney shows in Spanish because we only had access to the USA Disney channel in my youth, therefore, if I wanted to enjoy my cartoons and my animated movies, I had to figure out wtf anyone was saying, and through a mix of asking my parents and my older sisters what each word meant, I somehow started picking it up a lot more than I ever realized I had.

This might sound a little impossible for you now since, yes, kids pick up languages faster than adults, and better, usually, since it becomes kind of instinctive to them. But it's not completely pointless advice: while I'm a HUGE advocate for watching TV shows in the original language they were created... I suggest that you watch shows dubbed in Spanish. Whether Latin American or European Spanish, you pick whichever accent and style you prefer, haha. But watch TV shows or movies, whether produced in Latin American countries or in Spain, or simply dubbed, and you'll be practicing while having fun! Put on subtitles while you're still not confident in your knowledge, it's wild how that actually helps you pick up words and meanings without your awareness. In this case, I bring up my years of experience being the weaboo I proudly was: I can understand a lot more Japanese than I realized simply because I've been watching anime in Japanese with subtitles since I was 11-years-old. That certainly helps in making certain things click in your head without your awareness. It's so real that when my mom started watching K-dramas, and made me watch them with her, I took to picking up a few simple elements of Korean structure, some basic words, obviously not enough to pretend I actually know/understand Korean, but enough that I was surprised to find that, with zero intent to learn the language, I still picked up a thing or two by instinct!

The other major advice is basically the same thing but a little more sophisticated and deliberate: read a book translated to Spanish. Preferably, a book you already know by heart. Find a translated version of any books you're really attached to... and keep your English copy nearby, too. If something is confusing? Take your English copy and find the same scene. Use a dictionary too in case you're confused about the exact meaning of the words. But when you're revisiting something familiar in another language, you pick up a lot of things, sometimes intentionally, sometimes not so intentionally.

I don't know if I had other ideas on how to help beyond taking a class or so, but for now, I think this should be a good starting point and my best advice based on my own experiences learning other languages. So... good luck! Hope you learn plenty! :D

[chipies-and-chocolate]

until that spring

hi guys! well I started to write a long series about Eddie because I don’t know how to hold myself off. this is my first story since school so I hope you can enjoy it as I really enjoyed writing it! I’ll try to update every weekend so if you want to be added to a tag list let me know.and because it makes me so mad, and I can’t with it, EDDIE IS NOT DYING HERE, OK? I really need him to have a happy ending my poor boy deserves it.

Pairing: Eddie Munson x female!oc Henderson

Summary: Basically, it’s the story about Dustin’s sister getting caught between her brother's adventures and how this affected her almost-more-than-friendship with Eddie. so, we will be going through the four seasons during the story.

Series warning: smut, some drugs and violence (so please don’t read it if you are under 18+ years old!), angst and a lot of fluff. if there’s anything else in some chapters I will warn.

note: for history purposes the oc is called Emma Clarisse Henderson and Eddie likes to call her by her middle name because he finds it adorable. and for d&d purposes she took the name Arwen.💕

i do not own any rights of stranger thing's content in this fic ; please do not copy or transale (im planing to update a spanish version maybe but depends if someone ask me to) the story.

1983

Sunday, November 6

It should be a casual game, no more than two hours of play, maybe a little longer, depending on the luck of the players. Emma couldn't help but sigh as she heard a giggle escaping from the dungeon master's mouth; four hours, four pizza boxes, two packs of beer and they were still there, sitting in front of a small board with only two figures on it.

—You could escape dear — Eddie smiled triumphantly —your statistics favour you—

She fixed her gaze on the boy's eyes, challenging him. Everything had gone great, they had reached the last chamber of the dungeon in about an hour and forty, they just had to take the loot and go home, but no, Eddie was not a benevolent dungeon master, even less if he intended to make a sadistic campaign, upon entering the room they were cornered by a dragon, crushing fred with a stomp; then he ate jeff, the healer, ending the advantage they had over the beast and after a while finally finish off gareth.

And there she was, alone against a dragon blocking the exit, only having two arrows left, her bow, a short sword and 4 life points. The other three boys looked at her expectantly, practically placing all the pressure of their pride on her shoulders. She smirked as she shook her head.

—No thanks, I don't want to give you pleasure. I'm going to shoot the son of a bitch— she finally said.

—are you sure? You need at least a 19 to kill him and not die instantly— asked gareth

—I feel lucky— she winked, taking one of the dice in front of her, beginning to shake it as Eddie watched her from across the table, covering his mouth with his left fist.

The piece fell with a soft sound on the board, bouncing three times finally stopping with a dull sound.She jumped up with a cry of relief, the group cheering with delight as the Hellfire leader sighed loudly a laugh.

—twenty! boom! This is how you destroy a lizard! — She exclaimed, sitting back looking at him triumphantly, he gave her a bow.

—It only took two hours longer than estimated, but I must congratulate you, Miss Arwen— he chuckled.

— shut your mouth Eds, short games are not an option with you.

The group stayed at the place for a while longer, laughing and complaining about the campaign until the girl finally stood up, stretching out her arms and taking her bag.

—  Well guys, it has been a pleasure, but have to go, there’s school tomorrow— 

—  That's my signal—  Eddie smiled  getting up — garth, the care of the board is in your hands.

The mentioned one let out a lazy moan, she looked at him with a bit of remorse for leaving the mess without helping to tidy up.

They both finally left the garage where they had spent the last five hours, meeting the last reflections of the sun and a cold autumn breeze, then the girl hurried to the van, taking the passenger seat, rubbing her arms to generate some warmth.

— You're so chilly —   the boy laughed, closing his door.

—  It's almost winter, it's cold —  she clarified frowning —  besides, I've been sitting for a long time, that's your fault.

He shrinked his shoulders

— I didn't mean for it to be so long— 

— Fallacies —  she exclaimed, staring at him while he raised his hands laughing, spreading her, she stared at him for a moment, the 17-year-old boy had been letting his hair grow for a while, which was practically the same length as hers. she raised her hand to slightly untangle his hair, slightly stunning him– your hair has grown quite a bit.

— bitchin’, right? — He answered with a giggle, and she smiled softly.

— Long hair suits you — she mentioned innocently removing her hand to put on the seat belt, without noticing the small blush that she had caused in him –by the way, thanks for taking me—

— my  pleasure —he replied, making contact to start the engine and begin to drive — after all, I passed by you and insisted that you attend.

— Anyway, I had no plans — she continued while she opened the trunk to explore among the music tapes and chose one — and the games you've been doing lately are great, it's fun to see the boys suffer.

Eddie laughed softly at the comment, taking his eyes off the street for a second, looking at Emma, ​head leaning against the window with her blue eyes closed, dark curls falling untidily to her shoulders without actually touching them; Dead Kennedys playing through the speakers accompanied by humming by the girl, he turned his gaze back to the road.

Finally they arrived at Emma’s home, having already darkened so only the dim light that escaped through the windows of the house and that emitted by the headlights of the van illuminated the landscape, he stopped next to the driveway, diminishing the music volume.

—Last stop— he stated, she softly opened her eyes and jumped down.

— oh —Emma stopped before closing the door — egg sandwich tomorrow?

— sounds good, I'll pick you up at the usual time—

— Okay — instead of closing the door, the girl began to play with her fingers staring at them, he raised an eyebrow trying to decipher the situation until after a few seconds he heard her murmur —Would you… like to come in and have dinner?

Eddie didn't make a sound, looking at her thoughtfully, understanding her behaviour; They were friends since elementary school, he used to go with her everywhere and began to  take her in his car always since he got his licence; she had spent countless afternoons at his house, in his room; she had prepared each new recipe that she learned for him and his uncle, with whom in fact she got along very well, he liked her "she is a good girl" he had heard him comment more than once; somehow she was always there, being a part of practically every aspect of his life; however, he had created a kind of barrier as far as the girl's life was concerned, he always found an excuse not to enter her house, he had never sat at the same table with his family and he really had no idea how Emma's room looked, every time he dropped her off she always asked the same type of question, and he always had an excuse to refuse.

— Clary— he began to say slowly, trying to think of some old enough excuse.

— Mom is not here today — she interrupted, staring at him, and then began to recite information very quickly — neither is Dustin, she went out to play cards with her friends because we were going out, usually she is late when she goes out with her friends even if it is Sunday, and- and Dusts is with the Wheelers, playing a campaign that they have been planning for weeks so he told us that he probably wouldn't make it to dinner, so there's only the cat, I could make macaroni and cheese and we could eat in my room... if you want —

Silence invaded the space for a few moments,Emma watched him expectantly with a frown and rosy cheeks, until the boy shouted a laugh, disconcerting her.

— Henderson — he contained the laugh to be able to breathe while turning off the car's engine and then removed the key, noticing how her eyes lighted up — how long have you been thinking about everything you just said?

— Since mom said she was going with her friends... on Wednesday — she answered, looking at the floor embarrassed, hearing a sigh from him.

— Well, I can't say no to such an effort—  he raised his hands in surrender, she couldn't hide the enormous smile that took over her lips. — fine, but the mac n’ cheese better be amazing.

They both left the van and walked towards the house, he walked slowly, nervous while she took little jumps, advancing a couple of steps to open the door and let him pass, he contemplated for a moment the possibility of using some excuse to flee from the situation, but he didn't want to make Emma sad; he took a deep breath before slowly walking through the door,then feeling how it closed behind him; he looked around for a moment, like an animal in an unfamiliar place, the house was spacious but cosy and smelled of honeysuckle.

— are you…good? -the girl asked with some concern, he nodded while he continued to scrutinise the place until he felt something lazily colliding with his leg, distracting him, an orange cat walked between his legs meowing friendly, and the girl laughed taking the feline between her arms — oh, this is ms mews…come on, I'll show you my room.

Emma let go of the cat who protested meowing, she happily took Eddie's hand to guide him to her room, they crossed the living room and went down a side corridor, reaching the end of this the girl finally released him to open the right door.  again letting him pass first, this time leaving the door open.

— I present to you my private lair - Emma said dramatically 

He entered the room with his mouth slightly open, the room was two or three times his own, curiously very different from any of the possibilities that had crossed his mind, amusingly bizarre, the walls were covered in a wallpaper of small pink lilies which in turn was partially covered by different types of posters and papers grouped by theme, In the centre of the wall opposite the door was the bed, double, white wrought iron and unmade. there was a dresser cover of notebooks and books in disarray, however, something caught his attention, he began to walk towards the end of the room finding a desk whose wall was full of photos that had been taken from time to time, drawings of dungeons and dragons that he had made for her and others made by herself; He kept exploring the surface, coming across a drawing partially obscured by a walkman, but he could still make out "hellfire club", he heard the hurried footsteps of the girl behind him as he began to move his hand closer to the device, to take it and observe the complete drawing.

— wait! — She said stopping him and then throwing what was on her desk into a drawer under it and hastily closing it, laughing nervously — that's still something in progress.

— Well — he answered with a mocking smile — it wasn't exactly hidden.

— If it has something on top, it's hidden — the girl asserted and then took him by the wrist to drag him to the kitchen — come on, I have to prepare food.

Eddie stumbled after her, laughing, once in the kitchen, he sat on one of the benches in front of the counter propping his head on one hand while she got a box of macaroni and cheese from the pantry and began to cook; while the pasta was cooking she prepared the sandwiches that they would have for lunch the next day and stored them in the fridge.

— voila! — she exclaimed, showing him the saucepan after placing the powdered cheese on the pasta and stirring it — we had dinner.

— Great — he replied , smiling tenderly and then getting up and walking towards the fridge while the girl put the food on the plates — do you have any beer?

—  very funny — she looked at him with narrowed eyes — there were some sodas at the top.

Eddie took a couple of cans and one of the plates Emma had served, she took the other plate and a couple of spoons; they carried the food into the room where he took the chair by her desk and she sat on the edge of the bed, beginning to eat.

— This is great — Emma smiled.

— you think so? — he smiled back.

— Of course, I do — she continued, taking a bite in her mouth – it only took me almost three and a half years to get you into my house, but you know, it's still great.

— hey — he tried to counter, without really having anything in his favour — don't say it like that.

— Calm down Munson — she said sarcastically — I understand that you fear dinner, I mean, it's terrifying.

– Clarisse – he left his plate half finished and sat next to the girl while she looked at him with puppy eyes – it's not like that

— then what is it? Because I'm relatively sure you're not allergic to cats.

— It's just… — he sighed, looking away from the girl, looking at a flask on the night table, he wrinkled his eyebrows while getting closer to take it — what is this?

— Eds… — Emma snorted at the obvious change of subject.

— I'm serious — he answered, looking at the bottle, the girl raised an eyebrow taking the bottle from his hand.

— for sleep — she finally said — you know that sometimes I have problems with that.

— You never take them in my house.

— I don't need them when I'm with you — she murmured without thinking, looking at the bottle and then leaving it in its place — with you I feel calm… 80 percent of the time.

— 80?  — he laughed  — what about the other 20 percent?

— That 20 percent you are an idiot — she chuckled.

— I think it is much more than 20 percent — he continued.

— do not overestimate yourself, Munson — she said between laughs that were abruptly interrupted by the sound of the house door closing, the boy tensed slightly; she took his hands in her own — it must be Dustin, wait here a moment, I'll go see.

He relaxed slightly as he nodded, Emma then disappeared behind the door, walking towards the entrance of the house, meeting his brother who seemed a bit upset.

— hey gremlin, you're late — she greeted, shaking the boy's cap — what's wrong? Did you get your ass kicked on the campaign?

— we didn't finish it — denied the boy walking to the kitchen to get the milk from the fridge — and now I owe Will one of my comics.

— You were there practically all day and they didn't finish it? — she laughed — which comic did you lose?

— x men 134 — he sighed.

— Well, I'll get you another one then — the girl gave the boy a glass, and he renewed his spirits.

— really?

—  Of course, I'll get it before work, what do you think?

— Cool! — Dustin stopped what he was doing to give her a hug — you're great Ems.

— I know — Emma laughed, patting her brother's head before taking him by the shoulders, breaking the hug — very well when you're done with that go straight to bed, okay?  now I'll go to sleep, so don't go to my room. understood?

— Uh, I guess— The boy wrinkled his eyebrows in strangeness.

— Okay then, good night — Emma began to walk lazily back to her room 

After being left alone, Eddie had dropped onto the bed, managing to slightly perceive the girl's scent, feeling a small blush; He sighed deeply, closing his eyes as he recalled a conversation from a few days ago.

“— seriously man — exclaimed Gareth lying on an old armchair in his garage - when are you going to ask her out? 

— what are you talking about? — He answered by tuning his guitar without paying much attention.

— Emma — specified his friend, disconcerting him, causing him to loosen way too much the string that he was trying to sing.

—the hell are you talking about man? — He questioned trying to avoid looking irritated.

— Come on Eddie — Jeff intervened leaving his guitar next to him — the only person who doesn't know about the great crush you have on her is her, you should ask her out.

The boy clucked his tongue, shaking his head.

— you guys are delusional— he said softly, looking at his friends — that's not gonna happen.

— Why not? she surely likes you— Gareth asked.

—Because — now clearly irritated Eddie emphasised — it wouldn't make sense, Emma has a future, shit, I've never seen her making any effort to have good grades and even so she will surely get into a good college, me? I'm just an outcast who hopes for his band to achieve something one day, it's not compatible ”

He opened his eyes slightly when he heard the door, saw how the girl looked at him tenderly, and took off her sneakers to lie down next to him, who closed his eyes again.

— how is the little nerd? — he asked softly.

— Don't call him that— she whispered, beginning to massage his scalp, feeling sleepy— it's okay, but they didn't finish the game.

— Mhn that sounds fun — He chuckled and then yawned — I should go, it's pretty late.

— A little longer — Emma murmured with closed eyes, pinching one of the sleeves of his shirt trying to keep him from pulling away from her.

— Okay, I'll stay a little longer — he smiled, kicking off his sneakers to properly accommodate himself and hug her, who was already breathing deeply, falling asleep, being imitated involuntarily by him.

after a couple of hours, Eddie woke up lazily to a new sound at the entrance of the house, assuming that it was his friend's mother, who was already completely asleep in his arms, making him smile; he slowly brought one of his hands closer to the girl's face to trace her lips with his thumb, imagining what it would be like to kiss her. he let out a long sigh trying to get the image out of his head and slipped out of bed trying not to wake her, then covering her with the duvet that rested at the foot of the bed, he put on his tennis,  turned off the light and then slipped away. as quietly as possible through the bedroom window.

next chapter

[roseapothecary]

Thanks to @blackandwhiteandrose for the tag!

tea, coffee, or soda?

tea, if i had to choose, just bc i have so much and there are so many varieties! but i am also a biiig coffee drinker.

dogs or cats?

i’m a dog person, but i do love cats too.

can you play an instrument?

not really, unless you count my voice.

what’s your sun sign?

scorpio

first song lyrics that pop into your head?  

thanks to The Rookie, “arrest me, make it sexy” has not left my head since I heard it.

do you have any tattoos?

i have a big hummingbird on my right shoulder and the rose apothecary roses on my left inside forearm. i have many more that i want, though.

what’s the last movie you watched?

glass onion!

what languages do you speak?

just english. i used to be able to understand spanish just bc i was raised around so much of it, and i can still read some, but i am very out of practice.

do you have any hobbies?

to copy this from a tag game i did yesterday: binging TV shows, watching films, talking about my OCs with my friends and not actually writing that novel, starting fic wips and never finishing them, making gifs, running around with my dogs.

you can hang out with one fictional character for an hour, who do you choose?

easy. david rose.

compliment yourself:

I’m generous with my time and happy to help out friends. <- stealing this answer from BWR bc it’s also true for me. i think my best quality is that i’m just very generous in general.

tagging: @sarahlevys, @landofsonlali, @astrid-becke, @swearphil, @jettestar, @maxbegone, @hullomoon, and anyone else who wants to play.

[basicsofeverything]

January Recap

I started January 2024 with an obsession with BG3, and I am ending the month with an optimistic view of the coming year. Politically, a lot of things happened - the AfD rose to 23%, and is now dropping back, mostly due to what Correctiv uncovered, protests, and the appearance of the BSW. The war in Israel/Palestine has been going on for more than 100 days now, and I have reflected on my position. I have put some time into researching anti-semitism and its different forms, which has helped me understand other viewpoints. My heart is still with the people of Gaza.

Meanwhile, I had to spend my last month in Valencia studying for exams. I went out to eat Ramen three (3!) times, I bid farewell to Cory at Bioparc, and spent a lot of time in the library with Francesca and Anna Lisa. Halfway through the month I reset my copy of Animal Crossing: New Leaf, which I am now playing almost daily. I am also trying to not lose what little Spanish I have learnt abroad, so I am practicing in one form or another on the daily. I have also downloaded an app called “Serial Reader”, through which I am reading Pride and Prejudice in small, daily chunks.

Now I am taking a break from serious things and recharging for the coming months. I am looking forward to starting the research for my Bachelor’s thesis and getting back to work. I have also organized a meetup with Lena, Seray and Shrouk, which I am looking forward to as well.

In Search of Healthy Masculinity - Sisyphus 55

am I too old ?? - owiebrainhurts

Part 1: Haben Polizisten diesen Mann ermordet? / Part 2: Der schlimmste Kriminalfall Deutschlands - Simplicissimus

Warum die Woken von allen gehasst werden - RobBubble

Why YouTubers Hold Microphones Now - Tom Nicholas

Future Computers Will Be Radically Different (Analog Computing) - Veritasium

THE REVOLUTION WILL NOT BE LIVE-STREAMED - Sisyphus 55

It’s Okay to Leave the Kids Table - NapoleonVII

Die Geheimnisse der deutschen Superreichen - Simplicissimus

Hip Hop - Made in Germany: 2010 - bis heute: Frankfurt, Cash und Role Models - NDR

The Boy and The Heron - Studio Ghibli

Top Music:

Flight of the Crows - Jhariah

Misery Meat - Sodikken

No Nein - 1tbsp, Mietze Conte

By the end of February, I want to:

Be back at work.

Have decided on a topic for my Bachelor’s thesis.

Have kept up my streak concerning Spanish.

Have created a few more (sketch) frames in Procreate Dreams.

[klainesheilen]

18th to 21st December

this is a productivity post and the pictures I have chosen are not productive at all (rest is also a form of productivity). Anyway a little rewind of my week so far:

18. December

two classes in the morning got cancelled, so I went to the library to start doing research on my paper (searching for secondary literature, printed essays that sounded usefull)

Spanisch class, and afterwards I had a 2 hour train ride to see and spend time with my boyfriend (last time before Christmas). Invited him to a date (:

19. December

finished my Spanish presentation and practiced it, after that I started reading an essay (out of five I have printed out)

appointment at my psychriatist

2 hour train ride back home (love mid long relationships) where I read twilight for a class

20.December

day filled with uni (had my presentation in Spanish)

ended my day by going to a reading of an author (unfortunately I couldn't stay till the end because I depend on a bus to get back home and they don't drive after 8pm)

21. December

had two classes in the morning

picked my Christmas gift from myself for myself up of the post office (Sylvia Plath)

read the rest of the essays I have copied, took notes and highlighted, I think I have formed my thesis for the paper AND I wrote a to do for tomorrow

will relax by listening to Christmas smut and crocheting (:

22.December (in theory)

Gym in the morning

going to uni to work on my paper aka do more research

[chaotic-theatrical-weaver]

In a Pearl Warren kind of mood, happy if a little “where are my friends and why aren’t they with me? Am I really even connected to anyone here? Is my disconnect because I don’t share their interests and they think I see myself as superior? Is it because they think I’m dismissive of them for my awful memory of names and faces? Or are they just intimidated and waiting?” if you get my drift.

My Spanish class was in an uproar over the verb meaning to annoy/bother: molestar. I was not because I took Latin and knew that “annoying” was molestus/a/um. I did get to say “Me molesta mucho tomar dimensiones” (taking dimensions [of an engineering sketch] annoys me a lot), only for the actual test to be reasonable and SO MUCH EASIER THAN I THOUGHT (practicing really paid off as my teacher just copied one of the practice problems, made it taller, and added a hole xD). I was singing “Air So Sweet” when I got out...life is hopeful and wonderful (and my biology quiz on Wednesday was a success, but now we’ll be taking mini-quizzes on organic chemistry every day *sigh*) and...ahhh...I deserve to rest a little. 

I’ll be setting up my new cell phone and possibly finishing season 4 of Stranger Things with my family tonight. Tomorrow, I’m seeing Sunny and embarking on our reread of all our old literature class plays (starting with A Raisin in the Sun)! Will let you know how the rereads of everything go, but they should be very fun because now we’ll read the roles our expressionless classmates did before. We would have been fine not reading the roles we wanted if they had expression, but alas :( Can’t wait to fix that now!

[study-with-aura]

Thursday, February 22, 2024

Geometry was so much easier today, but it was basic algebra. I finished it in no time.

Also today we had our impromptu Girl Scout Meeting for World Thinking Day. It was all at my house, even the younger girls in our troop, though they did activities together that made more sense for them, and us older ones, Cadettes and Seniors, we did more discussion based activities. In the end, we all got together and made this really amazing piece of artwork. What was really awesome about it is that H and I are currently working on our Ecology unit, (we use the same curriculum), and so we were able to apply our knowledge from that into what we were discussing about human impacts on the environment and climate change. We had a good time, and it's always fun when we get to have a full troop meeting with all of the levels.

Tasks Completed:

Geometry - Reviewed finding slopes from equations + reviewed writing equations in any form + learned about equations of parallel and perpendicular lines + practice

Lit and Comp II - Reviewed Unit 16-18 vocabulary + read first part of chapter 26 of Emma by Jane Austen + watched a lecture video about descriptive writing + read about descriptive writing + read about the descriptive essay + read models of descriptive paragraphs

Spanish 2 - Copied new vocabulary

Bible I - Read Joshua 15-16

World History - Viewed a map from before WWI + read about the causes of the war + read about the alliances formed before WWI + practice questions

Biology with Lab - Started working on my human impact and animal resiliency assignment

Foundations - Read more about punctuality + read another article showcasing media bias + read "Love is a Fallacy" + cited examples of fallacies from the story

Piano - Practiced for two hours in one hour split sessions

Khan Academy - None today

CLEP - None today

Duolingo - Studied for 15 minutes (Spanish, French, Chinese) + completed daily quests

Reading - Read pages 175-219 of My Dear Henry: A Jekyll & Hyde Remix by Kalynn Bayron

Chores - Put away the dishes + took the trash out

Activities of the Day:

Girl Scouts World Thinking Day special meeting

Personal Bible Study (Zephaniah 3)

Ballet

Pointe

Journal/Mindfulness

-

What I’m Grateful for Today:

I am grateful that I got to see my friends again today because meetings are at my house since we have the extra space, and I am grateful that the younger members of the troop were able to join us today too since they normally have their combined meeting on Saturdays.

Quote of the Day:

Never be limited by other people's limited imaginations.

-Dr. Mae Jemison

🎧Hiawatha Overture - Samuel Coleridge-Taylor

[eloves-writes]

a failed attempt to hate you

(tristan dugray)

a/n: i can only apologise if this writing is terrible, i wrote most of this in the middle of the night hopped up on medication for my disgusting cold. i hope it makes sense. anywho thanks for reading, enjoy, mwah <3

screw mr medina for making you help tristan study. you knew he knew from rory your inherent disdain for him, and it wasn’t your fault he was falling behind therefore not your responsibility to help him (as you had told mr medina last tuesday, with no effect). it was now sunday morning and you held little hope he would actually show up this time; he had somehow managed to cancel on your little study date 6 times already and it had only been 5 days since you were handed this apparently mammoth task. honestly, you didn’t expect him to show up at all, especially not anytime before noon- for which reasons you had made the decision put on your usual lazy sunday morning reading in bed get-up, which included (but was not limited to) an oversized rock concert shirt rory’s friend lane had given you in an attempt to clear her closet of non-christian attire, nothing but underwear underneath since you wouldn’t plan on leaving the comfort of your bedsheets for many hours, and a loose silk scrunchie you accidentally stole from rory keeping your hair out of your eyes. 

your book of choice today was ‘harry potter and the goblet of fire’ , the most recently released chapter of the boy wizard’s adventures at hogwarts. the clock beside you read 9:15 as you comfied yourself for a morning of magic and adventure, which naturally was ended a mere 8 minutes later at 9:23 when the doorbell rang downstairs. you assumed your mother would answer it, but when it rang a second time you remembered your parents had both gone out to watch your sibling’s soccer match and you’d have to get it yourself.

it didn’t even cross your mind to put pants on, or that it may not be the postman at the door, until you opened it to see your very favourite chilton student whose eyes had hastily wandered to your bare legs. typical high school boy, you thought to yourself before your brain actually grasped the situation and kick started into action.

‘tristan. hi.’ you said with a slight shock in your voice.

‘erm, hi. i hope i’m not interrupting anything,’ he smirked, glancing down at your thighs again.

you rolled your eyes so aggressively you hoped mr medina could hear it from wherever he was spending his day, irritating boy-less and free to do whatever he wanted with his time.

‘you’re not,’ you quipped. ‘i just didn’t expect you to actually show up this time. and early may i add, i’m sure we said 11.’

‘we did, but i’ve got plans later so i thought i’d come by earlier and get this over with.’

‘how did you know i didn’t have plans? i might have been busy before 11.’

he pulled a face of amusement and you could swear you saw a hint of sarcasm shining through his eyes too. ‘right. are you done talking now or can i come in?’

‘you can come in, i guess,’ you sighed, closing the door behind him and showing him to the kitchen table. ‘wait here, i’ll go and get my books.’

‘grab some pants whilst you’re at it.’

‘stop talking,’ you called as you walked upstairs.

you came back downstairs a few minutes later fully-clothed and carrying your english notes to see that tristan had wandered from the chair you specifically remembered telling him to sit in, and was instead tracing a finger along the bookcase that stretched across the far wall of your living room. for a moment you just watched him nosey into your life; the framed certificates, the family photos, the 5 tapes of ‘beauty and the beast’ stacked atop of each other because it was your favourite film when you were 9 and practically every living relative had bought you a copy. beside those was a picture of you dressed as princess belle at disneyworld with chocolate ice cream smeared from cheek to cheek, a huge smile plastered between. tristan picked it up and turned to face you.

‘thoroughly adorable. seriously, you should go for this look more often.’

‘ha ha,’ you grimaced, snatching it off him and placing it back on the shelf. ‘are we studying or reminiscing on my past fashion choices?’ 

‘oo, someone’s in a good mood this morning huh,’ he teased. you pulled another face, once again silently cursing mr medina for completely ruining not just your day, but in fact your whole week. by god this boy got more irritating the more time you spent with him- it had only been 10 minutes, but it was 10 minutes longer than you ever previously had or ever wanted to.

 ‘can i get a drink before we start?’ he asked, redirecting the conversation and walking past you back into the kitchen. he began opening various cupboards, searching for a glass. ‘where’s the-’

‘why yes, tristan. you can have a drink,’ you snarked, opening the cupboard behind him with a dramatic flourish. he raised his eyebrows at you and reached forward to grab a glass, leaning over you as he did so. you caught a whiff of his cologne and almost forgot to dislike him for a moment.

‘there’s, um, soda in the ... fridge,’ you told him, voice unwillingly faltering as he looked down to meet your eyes. he had pretty eyes. pretty, blue, sparkling, stupid, annoying, asshole eyes. 

you found the thick tension sickening. you refused to be another girl at school who simply swooned over him when he walked past your locker. you didn't like him. you were here to teach him english. because he was dumb. and actually, his eyes weren’t that nice.

he grabbed a soda out of the fridge and you both sat down at the table and began reading through your analysis of ‘to kill a mockingbird’, adamantly pretending not to see him staring at you the whole time. 

why? he had had every popular and pretty girl in the whole of chilton, how was he ever so starved of female attention that he would look at you so admirably when you liked to make it clear you despised him? in fact, you enjoyed making a special effort to flip him off, or pull a face at him when he walked by, or kick his chair extra hard in spanish, or... oh shit. you had seen it from an outside point of view now, and it was glaringly obvious; maybe you did like him, just a little bit. shit. rory owed lorelai 10$ and a cheeseburger from luke’s, though you didn’t want to have to admit she was right when she’d said you were like a kindergarten boy pulling a girl’s ponytails because he thought she was pretty.

‘hey tristan,’ you started, breaking the comfortable silence between his questions and suddenly nervous to talk to him. stupid, it was still the exact same boy you’d been complaining about all week, nothing new. 

he looked up from your notes. ‘what’s up princess?’ 

that was definitely new.

‘don’t call me princess’ -he smirked irritatingly- ‘do you need to stay much longer? i mean, is there anything else you want help with?’

‘trying to get rid of me?’

‘no! no. i just thought that you’d only stay and pretend to listen to me for like, half an hour then vanish. it’s 11:30 and you’ve been through my whole binder.’

‘it is? time flies.’

‘tristan.’

‘i do care about my grades, you know. and you’re a good teacher, i might have a chance at an A.’

‘why didn't you show up the last 6 times we planned then?’

he put down his pen- your pen, actually. it had pink sparkles on the lid. ‘got to keep up my street cred.’

‘ha ha. funny,’ you replied as blankly as possible, pulling back a smile you could feel in your stomach. you made eye contact again and, like every other time since you’d sat down and started studying, you held each other’s gaze for longer than necessary. funny how realising you like someone makes you suddenly act like it.

‘i should get going then right,’ he said, picking his jacket from the back of his chair.

you felt weird, almost as if you didn't want him to leave after praying earlier he wouldn't show up. alas, your parents would be home soon and you would be willing to bet money that tristan would have some interesting jokes about your being home alone that would not slide with your dad.

‘yeah. i hope you get that A,’ you said, accidentally smiling as you walked him to the door.

tristan turned to lean on the frame of the now-open door and put on a face of mock surprise. ‘my, my, y/n. was that a kind comment and a smile? you’re spoiling me.’

‘shut up, i hope you fail.’

he smiled back. ‘you really mean that?’

‘i guess not.’

there was yet another beat of heavy silence.

‘see you monday.’

‘see you monday.’

you closed the front door as he walked down the drive, but noticed tristan’s car keys still sat on the kitchen table. a porsche, of course. you picked them up and reopened the door to his fist poised to knock. the two of you laughed awkwardly for a second.

‘i forgot my-’

‘you forgot your-’

another awkward laugh. jesus christ this was uncomfortable. you passed him the keys, and with absolutely no warning at all, your lips were suddenly met with his. they were soft and confident, and his free hand held your face as you tried to process the new situation. you quickly melted into the kiss, letting him take control until he pulled away and smiled that sparkly smile you didn't hate as much as you tried to.

‘didn't see that one coming,’ you said breathily, brushing some loose hairs off of your face.

‘i knew you didn’t hate me.’

‘ever the arrogant twat.’

‘hey, does this mean you’ll stop kicking my chair in spanish?’

‘absolutely not. in fact, i think i’ll kick it harder.’

‘as long as you let me do that again.’

tags: @leossmoonn for inspiring me to start writing again, @account123445 & @lmaoidekanymore6 for asking me to post tristan fics! (couldn’t figure out how to make the tags work but if you read this, you know ✨)

[study-coffee-chicago]

Season of Med: Season 6: It’s Not Okay (A Halstead Brother + Halstead Sister Imagine)

A/N: Thank you for reading and don't forget to reblog and comment! I love hearing what you guys have to say and what your reactions to my imagines are!

Your age: 19

Jay's age: 33

Will's age: 35

Like any college student who was procrastinating studying for an exam and writing a paper, you decided to make a dessert. Because, hey, studying is a lot better when you have something sweet to eat, right?

So, you made strawberry-lime blondies. They were supposed to be strawberry-lemon, but you didn't have any lemon juice and you didn't want to go to the store, so you used what you had on hand. You used frozen strawberries (which you defrosted in the microwave), and mixed them into the batter, and then baked them, so they took a little longer than expected to bake.

The final product was something like the texture of a lemon bar instead of a cakey texture, but they tasted good, so that was all that mattered.

Then, like any procrastinating college student and good little sister, you went to the district and delivered some to Intelligence and then went to Med to deliver some to Will and the other doctors on nurses on shift today.

You got a rapid covid test and went through all the decontamination protocols and then were finally allowed to go inside. If people at the hospital didn't know you, there was no way you'd be allowed in because, hello, there's a pandemic going on!

Will had been adamant about you not coming to the hospital as much as you used to, but you figured he'd be fine with it this one time because you came bearing treats.

"Y/N?" Maggie asked when she saw you.

"Hey, Maggie," you said. "Yeah, it's me."

"Why are you here? Not that I'm not pleased to see you, but I thought Will banned you from here?" she asked.

"Technically, he didn't ban me. He just said not to come here as much as I used to. And, I haven't been here since I got that glass in my leg helping at Mama's Garcia's when we had that outbreak of necrotizing fasciitis."

"Yeah, it's like that quarantine predicted the future."

"You're telling me. Closing stuff down, quarantines, but hey, at least it's not as bad as it was earlier in the year."

"Yeah, at least there's a vaccine and rapid testing." She motioned to the glass container you were carrying. "What's that?"

"Well, I was procrastinating studying--"

"Y/N, you should just get it over with. You'll be less stressed then," Maggie laughed.

"I know, I know. But then you guys wouldn't get these awesome strawberry-lime bars I made. You want first pick?"

Maggie smiled. "Set them in the doctor's lounge and I'll be in, in a bit and pass on the message."

"Thanks, Maggie. Page Will to meet me in there?"

"Will do."

***

You were waiting in the doctor's lounge, just scrolling through your phone when you heard the walkie-talkie go off on the counter.

"This is Nurse April Sexton from the Covid ward," she started. "I need a Spanish translator down here."

"Copy that," you heard Maggie say. About a minute passed and then you heard Maggie again. "Nearest translator is thirty minutes away because all the others don't want to be in the Covid ward."

"You're serious?" you heard April ask, frustration oozing out of her voice. "This is ridiculous! It's their job! We're safe. Gown them up and get one in here."

Maggie sighed. "April, I understand your frustration, but most of our translators are volunteers, so we can't force them to put their health at risk if they don't think it's safe for them."

You got up and picked up the walkie-talkie just as Will walked in.

"Hey, Maggie said you made--"

"This is Y/N Halstead. I can translate. Just get me down there and I can do it," you said as you pushed down the button on the walkie-talkie.

"Y/N, what are you talking about?" Will asked.

But, you barely heard him; you were just focused on Maggie's and April's responses.

"April, sit tight," you heard Maggie say. "I'm gonna figure this out one way or another."

"Y/N!" Will practically yelled once you finally set the walkie-talkie back down. "What's going on?"

"Well, I came in to give you guys these strawberry-lime bars I made and I know you said I shouldn't come in here as much anymore, but I'm covid negative and so are all of you guys and I did all the protocol needed to come in--"

"I'm not worried about the dessert," Will said as he put a hand up to stop you from continuing to talk. "Translating?"

"April said they needed someone in the Covid ward and no one else will go in there. And I speak Spanish and I'm here so I figured--"

"You figured you'd go into an area of the hospital filled with a deadly virus with multiple variants? Not to mention, the vaccine might not be safe against every variant there is!"

Will threw his hands up in frustration just as Maggie entered. In her hands, she had a piece of paper.

"Y/N, if you want to become a volunteer translator, I just need you to quickly sign this, saying you're just doing it until the actual translator gets here since it was an emergency situation."

"What? I'm confused," you said.

"Are you fully bilingual?" she asked.

"I don't think I'll ever consider myself fully bilingual, so no."

"Okay, typically our volunteers have at least 40 hours of training. They used to be unpaid volunteer positions, but because of covid, we started making them paid positions. No certain amount you have to work, but if you were a volunteer for the hospital, you'd make at least $12 an hour. This paper just says that you're translating because of a staffing emergency and that you're unpaid and haven't had training, so you're not fully bilingual in medical terminology."

"So, will I get sued if something happens because I translate something wrong?"

"Nope. This covers both the hospital and you. I just need you to sign it."

"Maggie, there's no way I'm letting her into the Covid ward!" Will exclaimed.

"Will, she's an adult; she can make her own decisions. And, she'd only be there for about twenty minutes, max of half an hour, until our regular translator gets here. She'd be fully gowned up and everything."

Will sighed. "Fine. You page me and tell me what time she went in there and what time she gets out. If she's in there over thirty minutes, I'll gown up and drag her out myself."

You signed the paper and handed it back to Maggie. Then, you turned back to Will. "Not that I needed your permission, but thanks. Enjoy the strawberry-lime bars." You turned back to Maggie. "Can you show me where to go?"

"Follow me." And then the two of you exited the doctor's lounge and headed towards the Covid ward, leaving Will silently cursing the Halstead stubbornness.

***

You walked into the Covid ward fully gowned up to see April holding a phone on Facetime...and a girl who was probably in her early 20s on a ventilator.

You heard Spanish coming through the phone.

You froze. It was someone's mom on the phone. A mother looking at her daughter, not totally knowing what was going on because of a language barrier.

April motioned you over and you shook the shock and cobwebs from your brain.

"Hola, soy una intérprete. Me llamo Y/N. ¿Está la máma de...?" (Hello, I'm a translator. My name is Y/N. Are you the mom of...?) you trailed off, looking to April to know the patient's name.

"Patient's name is Yesenia. Her mom's name is Alejandra," April filled you in.

"Okay, Alejandra," you started, "su hija, Yesenia--" (Your daughter, Yesenia--)

"¡Mi cielito!" she yelled.

April looked at you. "My baby," you translated. "Can you tell me what's going on so I can translate and reassure her that her daughter will be okay? She's gonna be okay, right?"

April sighed. "She's on a ventilator because her lungs aren't working properly and she's having a lot of trouble breathing because she has covid-19."

"But, she's gonna be okay, right?" you asked. You did not want to have to tell this mother that her child could die.

"Y/N, a ventilator is usually the last option. I don't know. I'm hoping she'll pull through, but I don't know. She's strong. I pushed for her to get this vent so that she could have a chance. She has a chance."

"So, you want me to tell her mom that we don't know?"

She nodded. "Yes."

You took a deep breath, trying to hold back tears. Maybe this was another reason why Will didn't want you in here. He wasn't just worried about the virus, but he was also worried that you would see all the suffering that the virus caused, both physical and emotional/mental suffering.

You could do this; you were just translating. You'd process what you had seen once you got out of here and were alone.

"Yesenia está usando un ventilador para que pueda respirar porque sus pulmones no está trabajando correctamente por el Covid-19." (Yesenia is on a ventilator so that she can breathe because her lungs aren't working properly because of Covid-19.)

"¿Vaya a sobrevivir?" (Is she going to survive?) Alejandra cried.

"Ella es muy fuerte, pero no sabemos. Lo siento," (She's very strong, but we don't know. I'm sorry.) you answered.

You were cut off by Alejandra wailing. They were wails of fear and worry. They were wails of losing her child. No child should die before their parent(s), that much you did know.

"No tengo más información para usted en este momento," (I don't have more information for you at this moment) you answered. "Lo siento. Lo siento mucho." (I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.)

***

"Hey." You jumped when someone put a hand on your shoulder. You had found a secluded spot at an abandoned nurses station a floor below the Covid ward.

You quickly wiped away your tears and turned around to face Will.

All you did was grab onto his scrubs, not caring if he had just got out of meeting with a patient or not and hug him.

"Oh, okay," he said and wrapped his arms around you. "It's okay, it's okay."

You pulled away. "But it's not okay!" you yelled, and then quickly quieted just in case other people could somehow hear. There weren't many people down here except for the occasional maintenance worker, but just in case. "It's not okay, Will! I just translated for a mother and I had to tell her that her daughter was on a ventilator and we didn't know if she was going to make it. It's not okay. None of this shit is okay. None of it."

You hugged him again and continued to cry after you got all your words out.

"I know, I know it sucks," Will soothed while rubbing your back. "Trust me, I've been on the frontlines since all of this started. It's hell sometimes. But, you just gotta separate your work and personal life. You go home, and you forget about this."

"But, this isn't even my job! God, I should've listened to you and not even went in there. But I'm too damn stubborn to listen."

"Well, you got one thing right: you are stubborn. All three of us are."

"Yeah. Thanks, Mom and Dad," you said sarcastically.

Will sighed. He knew he had to ask you this question. "You said none of this is okay. What do you mean?"

"You're usually the fun brother," you grumbled and pulled away. "Jay's usually the shrink."

"I know. And you don't have to answer me. I was just wondering what you meant by it is all."

"I just mean if everyone would be smart and listen to science is all," you answered.

"Yeah, we all wish that, Short Stack. So, I guess now's not a good time to tell you that April said that you did amazing and that you should be an actual volunteer translator at Med, then?"

"What?" You furrowed your eyebrows. You weren't bilingual or fluent; you hadn't thought that your Spanish was that good.

"April said that you were really good and told me to talk to you about talking to Maggie to get more information about becoming an actual volunteer translator. If that's something you want to do, talk to her. You can always say that you don't want to work in the Covid ward and you could always work in mostly recovery rooms so that you're not surrounded by blood and all the craziness in the ED and ICU." But, what he meant by that was that you wouldn't see all the suffering and death that happened in the ED and ICU.

"Okay, I'll talk to her. And, I think I can be in the ED...but only days that you're on shift because then you can tell if I'm freaking out and yell at me to take a break and come back later."

Will scoffed. "Like you'll actually listen to me."

"Hey, you never know. Miracles happen."

***

A few weeks later, you were running around the ED at the end of shift after finally finishing up translating for a family with a little girl who had broken her arm. Will had already scrubbed out and was in his street clothes waiting for you to be finished. Typically you were done before him because, hello, emergency department. Doctors don't just leave when the shift ends; they leave when the patient is stable or out of surgery. So, you typically would just work on homework in the doctor's lounge while you waited for Will. But, today he finished before you for a change.

You started walking towards the doctor's lounge but then decided that you'd better go to the bathroom before you left. Will had waited half an hour, what was another few minutes anyway?

You went to the bathroom and then started on your way to the doctor's lounge. To do this, you had to pass the nurses' station. You knew from earlier that day that there was a package of Will's trial meds that needed to be returned (you had stopped to have a quick chat with Doris before taking your lunch break when Maggie and Will came up and began talking about the trial meds).

Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Natalie standing at the counter, right in front of where the trial meds were. You kept walking but continued to glance at her every so often.

So, when she took the meds and placed them in her coat pocket, you saw.

Shit, you didn't know what to do. You obviously kept walking, but did you tell Will? Did you not tell Will? Would Natalie get fired if you told? Would she lose her medical license if you told?

So, when you walked into the doctor's lounge and told Will you were ready, you grabbed your backpack from his locker and the two of you left without you telling him anything.

You rode in the passenger seat of Will's car on the way to his house. How this worked was that every day you had to volunteer at the hospital when he was on shift (which, it had only happened once that you volunteered when he wasn't on shift since you could only work second shift due to your school schedule and having zoom classes in the mornings), you'd go to his apartment the night before. Then, you'd spend the night and do your classes at his apartment and then go to work. Typically, you'd also go stay at his apartment after you volunteered as well because sometimes,  this work was emotionally draining having to explain things to families and you didn't usually like to drive in that state. Plus, this arrangement gave Jay and Hailey two full, uninterrupted nights to whatever they wanted with each other.

You kept replaying the scene in your head. Natalie picking up the pills, placing them in her pocket. Natalie picking up the pills, placing them in her pocket. Natalie picking up the pills, placing them in her pocket...

It was like it was on a never-ending loop.

You were leaning towards not telling Will, but you knew that if you told the truth, your conscience would be clear. What if Natalie's mom, Carol, had some weird allergic reaction to the medication and they couldn't figure out what caused it because this medication wasn't in her chart? What if it made her worse off than she was before? You knew Will's trial meds were working out well because of the snippets you heard when you were volunteering at the hospital, but what if Carol was an outlier and something seriously bad happened to her because of the medication and no one knew what she was taking except for Natalie?

But, what if Natalie lost her job? What if she lost her medical license? All her hard work through medical school and residency and her reputation as a doctor would be gone just because of one thing.

You weighed the pros and cons in your head.

And you decided.

A woman's life was more important than any job, license, or reputation.

"Will," you started nervously. "I need to tell you something."

"Okay, shoot," he said nonchalantly, not knowing the truth-bomb that was about to come his way.

"You know those trial meds you needed to send back?" you asked.

"Yeah, what about them?" Will had no idea why you were asking him about trial meds because you had no experience in the medical field whatsoever, but he figured he'd let you ask whatever drug question you had and answer it to the best of his ability.

"Well, when I was done for the day, I went to the bathroom, and then to get to the doctor's lounge, I had to walk by the nurses' station. And, when I was walking by it, I saw...uh, I saw..."

"Y/N," Will began gently, "what did you see?"

"I saw Natalie pocketing the trial meds!"

"Natalie Manning?" he asked, not believing that his ex-fiancee would do something like that.  Sure, she and Will had both done some shady shit during their time at Med, but nothing like that.

"What other Natalie do I know there?"

"You're lying!" Will accused...which, was totally out of character for him. But, this is Natalie and despite not being together, he'd still do anything for her. "It had to have been someone else, someone who looked like Natalie."

"No, Will, it was her! I wouldn't lie about this!"

"God, are you still so pissed that we didn't get back together that you're going to jeopardize her entire career?"

"No! I saw--"

"Whatever you saw, Y/N, it wasn't Natalie. She wouldn't do this."

"Her mom's sick! People do crazy shit when people they love are suffering."

"Yeah? Well, not Natalie."

"Will, I'm telling the truth! I swear to God, hell, I swear on Mom's grave that I'm telling the truth!" you yelled.

"Don't lie on Mom's grave!" he yelled back.

He turned down a side street. This wasn't the normal way you took to get from the hospital to his apartment.

"Where are we going?" you asked.

"I'm bringing you back to Jay's. I can't believe you'd lie about something like this."

"I'm not--"

"Save it, Y/N."

***

You were drowning. Will was barely talking to you and you had to lie to Jay about why you weren't staying at Will's when you had to volunteer anymore. Your best friend, Emma, had decided that she didn't want to be friends with you anymore because she was "in a new season in her life". You hadn't even seen her since August when she went off to school in Michigan! Whatever the hell this "new season" was, she didn't mention it to you, nor did she even think you warranted a phone call to talk over this decision. All you got was a fucking text.

So, when Hailey walked into your apartment (without Jay because he was quickly grabbing takeout and had just told Hailey to go to his place and let herself in) and heard quiet sobs coming from your room, she got worried.

"Y/N?" she asked as she softly knocked on your door. "Is everything okay in there?"

You shook your head, no, but she couldn't see you. You didn't care; you just didn't answer her.

"Y/N, I need you to talk to me. Are you okay?"

"No! Just...just go away, okay? I don't wanna talk about it. Everyone leaves anyway, so just leave me alone, Hailey!"

You knew it was harsh, but you were angry. You weren't angry at Hailey, not one bit of this anger was directed towards her, but she was the first person you had talked to since Emma had sent you that text. So, she was the one who received the brunt of your anger.

So, Hailey did what she thought was best: she walked away. She'd talk to Jay when he got home, see if he could get through to you. You had been crying before she got to the apartment, so whatever it was, she didn't think you were mad at her...at least, she hoped you weren't mad at her.

***

Fifteen minutes later, Jay was back. He barely had enough time to set the bags of takeout on the counter before Hailey told him that she had heard you crying.

"Did she tell you anything?" he asked his girlfriend.

"No, she just told me to go away and that everyone leaves anyway, so to just leave her alone."

Jay ran a hand down his face. "Oh, man. It's gonna be a rough night."

"Why? Do you know what's going on?"

"No, I don't. But, I dunno, if she's sobbing and saying everyone leaves, something happened."

He started walking towards your room, Hailey in tow. When he got there, he put his ear to the door. He didn't hear full-on sobbing like Hailey had said she'd heard, but he did hear some whimpers and some sniffling.

He knocked.

"Short Stack?" he asked quietly. "Can me and Hailey come in? We're worried about you."

You stood up off your bed and wiped your tears. But, the minute you started to wipe them away, it's like you were hit with all of this all over again and more tears came.

You walked up to your bedroom door and opened it.

Without giving Jay any time to react, you hugged him and started to cry into his chest.

Once your sobs finally died down a few minutes later, you made your way over to your bed and put your head in your hands. Jay and Hailey followed. Jay sat next to you and Hailey sat to him.

Jay put on a hand on your back and rubbed up and down. "What's going on, Y/N?"

"Em- Emma and- and Will and school and- ugh! What's not going on?" you practically yelled the last part.

"Okay," Jay said, trying to quickly process everything you had just said. "You said Emma. Let's start there. What's going on with her?"

"She doesn't want to be friends anymore!"

"What?" both he and Hailey asked at the same time. They knew how close the two of you were and how, even though Emma went off to college, you still texted and hung out when she came back over Thanksgiving and Christmas break.

You opened your phone. "Read the texts. Listen to the audio message." You handed your phone to Jay and Hailey.

Jay and Hailey read the first text.

...don't believe I can be a good friend to you... can't be a good friend to you the way you deserve... I wish you the best in life...

Then, they read your responses.

What's going on? Did Tanner break up with you? I wanna help with whatever it is.

Next, was an audio message from Emma.

They listened to it.

Her boyfriend, Tanner, cheated on her a month and a half ago and she's still processing that...a lot's going on...she's entering a new season in her life...

There really was no concrete reason. And that's what pissed you the fuck off the most. You weren't the one who was with her boyfriend behind her back! Hell, you met him once and weren't even in the same state as him! Apparently, she decided that this new season in her life (whatever the fuck that was), did not include you and she didn't even have the human decency to explain why or how she came to this decision or try and work it with you...if you had even done something wrong in the first place.

"I'm sorry, kiddo," Jay said and pulled you into a hug.

You quickly wiped your runny nose and then pulled away. "You heard the message. She didn't even give me a concrete reason and that's what hurts the most!" you cried. "Did I do something wrong? Am I just such a fucking shitty person that everyone leaves me? Maybe I just shouldn't have friends because everyone leaves anyway."

Typically, Jay would've told you to watch the f-bombs you were dropping, but you were hurting, so he let it slide.

"What do you mean everyone leaves anyway?" he asked softly.

"Mom and Dad are dead! You left for a while. Emma left and she's been my best friend for years! No explanation at all! Erin left. Gabby left. Natalie's probably gonna leave. I'm just waiting for Hailey to leave at this point. Will hasn't talked to me in weeks!" All of this came rushing out without you even thinking about it.

"Hey," Hailey said softly. "I'm not leaving, Me and your brother, well, we're good together. And, I'm pretty sure we're always gonna be good. So, you don't have to worry about me leaving, okay?"

You nodded, not having the energy to talk anymore...especially after you just said everything that's been swirling around in your head for the past couple of hours.

"What's this about Will? He hasn't been talking to you?" Jay asked, his overly-protective-older-brother senses tingling. You nodded again. "Why?"

"It's nothing," you answered.

"It's something if it's making you so upset."

If this cop thing somehow didn't work out for Jay, he should be a therapist.

You sighed. You knew he wasn't going to let this go, so it was best to get it over with.

"One day, I finished translating and then I went to the bathroom. After, when I was walking to the doctor's lounge to meet Will..." You paused and took a deep breath. Once you said it, there was no turning back. "I saw Natalie steal a bottle of Will's trial meds. She put them in her pocket."

Jay and Hailey shared a look. They both knew this was illegal, but Hailey didn't want to make her boyfriend's brother hate her, so she gave Jay a look that told him to handle it.

"He thinks I'm lying," you said.

"I'm sure he doesn't think that," Jay assured you. "He's probably just shocked."

"No. He does. He said that."

Jay closed his eyes, willing himself not to pick up his phone and cuss out his older brother then and there. He opened his eyes and took a deep breath. "I know Will's working right now, but when he gets done later tonight, I'll call him and talk to him, okay?"

You nodded. "Okay."

"Now, tamales from Mama Garcia's are getting cold. We'll eat while watching a movie. Your pick, Y/N."

***

"We'll just get some preliminary tests going, give Dr. Young a head start," Will said when he started to treat Carol, Natalie's mother. "Remind me what medications she's on?" he asked Natalie.

"What?" Natalie asked. She was hoping and praying Will wouldn't find out that she stole the trial meds. That would screw up her whole career and jeopardize Will's entire drug trial with Kender.

"I assume she's on a beta-blocker?" Will asked.

"Yes, uh..." Don't mention the trial meds. Don't mention the trial meds. "Metoprolol 25 milligrams twice daily, plus Lasix the same, and rosuvastatin, I believe 10 milligrams once a day," she answered. Calm, cool, and collected, like she had done this a hundred times.

"And don't forget the new pill you gave me," Carol butted in. "The one that's supposed to make my heart pump."

"New one?" Will asked.

"Yes, I put her on a fish oil supplement," Natalie answered. "That's all."

"No," Carol protested. "It's a little blue pill."

Will grit his teeth. His trial meds helped people's hearts pump. His trial meds were little blue pills.

"Natalie, can I speak to you for a moment?" he asked, trying his best to keep his voice calm. "In private."

"I don't think that's really necessary, Will."

"Oh, I believe it is."

"Honey," Carol began, "if Will needs to speak with you, go speak with him. I'll be fine on my own for a few minutes."

Natalie sighed. There's no way she was getting out of this one.

***

"You are dosing your mother with an untested clinical trial drug, Natalie, without supervision or monitoring," Will began, trying his best to keep his anger at bay. "We don't know how the drug interacts with an LVAD. It could kill her. You need to come clean right now."

"Please," Natalie pleaded. "I was desperate."

"Yeah, and I might have ruined a relationship because of you," he scoffed. "God, I can't believe I believed you were the better person over my own sister."

"What? Will, what are you talking about?"

"Y/N. She saw you take those trial drugs. She told me she did. But, I accused her of lying because I didn't think you would ever do something like this! Something that could put both our jobs, and this hospital's credibility at risk! And, I haven't talked to Y/N in weeks because of this." He paused. "Now, I need to go make a phone call."

Then, Will turned around and left, leaving Natalie to wonder whether he was calling you to make things right or Goodwin to get her fired.

***

You couldn't sleep. You wanted to sleep, God you really wanted to sleep, to escape today, to escape the hell that had been the past few weeks, but you just couldn't. Tears stung your eyes in the dark of your bedroom. But you didn't want to cry. Not again. You had done enough crying for one day.

So, you looked at the time on your phone and saw three missed calls from Will. You must've dozed off for at least half an hour when you thought you hadn't or else you would've answered the calls. Or maybe you wouldn't have because it was Will. Oh well. You didn't have the energy to talk to him right now, nor did you even want to.

So, you got up and went to the bathroom and then got a glass of water.

But, what you didn't expect to see when you were getting said glass of water was Hailey, sitting on the couch on her laptop.

"Hey," she said softly as you were drinking your water. You walked closer to the couch to be able to hear her and see what she was doing. It looked like she was reading a book online. "Can't sleep?" she asked.

"No," you replied just above a whisper. "And I wanna cry, but I don't. And I think I dozed off, but now I can't sleep and I just want to sleep to forget this entire day even happened," you explained.

"Well, my insomnia kicked in, so if you want some company, I'll be right here." She paused thoughtfully. "Actually, I'll be right back. I think I have something that might help."

She quietly walked out of the living room and then came back.

She handed you a book and a pack of markers.

"It's an adult coloring book," she answered. "Sometimes, when the job's a little too intense, I put on soothing music and do this. It helps me relax so that I can fall asleep sometimes."

"You think it'll help?" you asked skeptically. You didn't know how coloring was supposed to make you sleepy.

"It's worth a shot."

"Okay," you whispered defeatedly. It's not like anything else had helped. Maybe this would.

"Want some music?" she asked.

"I guess," you replied.

So, she put on a playlist of lo-fi beats.

And, you guessed she was somewhat right about the coloring and the music. It took four coloring pages, lots of songs, and two hours, but you finally felt tired enough to go back to bed.

And when you did, three minutes after getting comfortable in your bed with all your blankets covering you and relishing in that heavy, comfy feeling, you fell asleep. Finally.

***

You woke up at noon the next day, and couldn't care less that you missed your first online lecture. You assumed that Hailey and Jay were at work because you knew that if Jay were home, he probably would've woken you up and asked "Don't you have class?" even though you didn't think it mattered if he knew whether or not you had class since he'd be at work. And, it wasn't his education or his money. It was your education and your money.

So, when you walked into the kitchen, you were surprised to see both Hailey and Jay there. But, most of all, you were surprised to see Will there, too.

You just ignored Will completely.

"No wake-up call today?" you asked Jay. "I'm shocked."

"Nope. Hailey told me you had a long night."

"So did she." You turned to Hailey. "The coloring helped by the way. Thanks."

"You're welcome," she answered.

Jay knew this couldn't go on for much longer, so if neither you nor Will were going to be the ones to address it first, he would.

"So, me and Hailey will give you and Will some time to talk," he said.

You glared at both Will and Jay, but they didn't care. Jay and Hailey just made their way out of the kitchen and down the hall.

You raised your eyebrows at Will and then moved over to the coffee pot and poured yourself a cup. You weren't going to be the one to start this conversation. He was the one who was in the wrong after all.

"Y/N, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," he began. You just sipped your coffee and wondered if Jay had called him and put him up to this. "I found out at the end of my shift yesterday what Natalie did. I tried to call you, but you didn't pick up. So, I called Jay this morning. He told me what happened with Emma. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have yelled at you and accused you of lying and I really shouldn't have ignored you for weeks. I'm really sorry, Short Stack. Can you forgive me?"

You debated on this for a moment. On one hand, you knew you'd do the same thing if someone accused someone you had been in love with of stealing. But, on the other hand, Will shouldn't have done that to you. He was the big brother; you were the little sister. It was your job to do stupid shit like ignoring him for weeks, not his job to do stupid shit like ignoring you for weeks. But, you figured you'd probably do what he did. So, you did what your mom had taught all three of you to do: forgive.

"I accept your apology. And I forgive you."

"Thank you. And, I promise I mean it--"

You cut him off. "On one condition." He shut his mouth and raised an eyebrow. "My stats test is all online and I don't have a lockdown browser. You be in the room and I ask you questions and you check over my test, then we have a deal."

"Y/N," he laughed. "That's cheating."

"Not when all college is online. Then it's called using your resources."

"Damn, Jay really did teach you how to blackmail someone."

"You get used to it when you're at the district and he yells in the interrogation room You either tell me what you know and help us or I ship you off to 26th and Cal right now? We clear? So, yeah, I guess he did teach me well. We have a deal?

"Fine," Will agreed. "When's the test?"

"A week from now."

"Okay. Now, I think you should go get ready, and then me and you can go get brunch."

"Can I get an omelet and a short stack of pancakes?"

"I take it you want iHOP?" Will laughed and you nodded. "You can get whatever you want."

And now Will knew that next time you told him something important about one of his coworkers or someone else, that you were telling the truth. He wouldn't make the mistake of thinking you were lying about something like that ever again.

A/N: Thank you for reading! Happy holidays and merry Christmas to those who celebrate it! Please remember to reblog and comment as I love reading what you have to say! I hope you enjoyed this one! As always, if you want to be added to my taglist, just tell me and I’ll add you!

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