#i think we'd all be happier maybe

[ghostespresso]

wild thought what if people were actually paid to do their jobs instead of expecting them to do everything out of the kindness of their hearts? what then?

[dramaticals]

did you hear what i said?

pairing: theodore nott x gryffindor reader

summary: after a year of secretly dating, theo breaks things off when classes start up again. it's now christmas eve and he's back with a figurative box of regret / requested by anonymous.

author's note: angst! there will be a part two with fluff, but i just needed to get this out since i've been writing this for too long. (please) feel free to leave angsty requests in my inbox because this is the genre that gets my gears going! but i make no promises on resolutions and happy endings ♡

"You look happier."

Theodore stands in front of the Gryffindor table in the Great Hall, his hands shoved into his pockets. His presence garners murmurs all around, even though the Great Hall was emptier than usual for the holidays. The sight of him makes your breath catch. It's been three months since you last spoke to him, but the memory of that night resurfaces, ripping open the wound on your healing heart.

It was back in September.

Theo had passed you a note in Potions, asking you to meet him in the Astronomy Tower after dark. It wasn't a peculiar ask, so you didn't think much of it at the time. The Astronomy Tower had become your and Theo's spot. A quiet place for the two of you to just exist—no interruptions and no expectations from the outside world. Your house rivalry was nothing in that tower. It was just you and Theo.

The two of you would spend hours hiding there, often cuddled on top of a lush blanket you had hidden nearby. You'd talk about anything and everything with him, from learning about each other's likes and dislikes to venting about classes and classmates. On nights where the two of you favoured serenity, it was never unpleasant. You'd embrace the quiet, exchanging sweet kisses all the while enjoying the comfort and protection of his arms.

That night in September was different, though. You sensed it the minute you ascended the steps to see Theo standing stiffly by the railing, his gaze concentrating on a bird on the horizon.

Theo didn't even turn to face you—acknowledge you—before he was muttering the words that shattered your heart into pieces.

"I'm over this." Theo said, his tone void of any emotion. His hand clutched onto the railing so tightly that his knuckles were pale.

Stunned silence fell over you. You just looked at him with a puzzled expression.

"Did you hear what I said?" Theo turned to you then, and you could see the pained expression on his features. But then something shifted, and his expression turned cold. "I'm breaking up with you."

His words on their own were harsh, but the inflection on each syllable felt like he was personally twisting a serrated knife into your heart.

"I don't understand." You said. "Why? What did I—"

"I feel like you're getting attached, and I think we've run our course." Theo interrupted. His eyes, the ones you became so accustomed to, were dark and flooded with an expression even you weren't familiar with. Theo scoffed. "You didn't actually think we'd last, did you?"

Maybe it was the naive and hopeless romantic in you, but you truly believed you would. House rivalries, judgemental friends, and family expectations were merely obstacles the two of you would deal with together. You just felt so strongly about him, and you were certain he felt the same about you.

"Did you hear what I said?" The Theodore standing in front of you jerks you back to the present.

You blink, and you nearly drop your fork.

"I heard you," you say firmly, returning your attention back to the half-eaten plate in front of you. You make yourself look busy and uncaring (as much as you could with food and a full stomach), as if Theodore's sudden presence had no effect on you.

Theodore shifts in his spot, his eyes darting to the empty seat in front of you, silently contemplating whether he should take it or cut his losses and leave. Reluctantly, he settles on the former. This makes you tense, your lips pursing as he sits. It doesn't help that you were highly attentive to the whispers; your classmates were surely speculating why Theodore Nott would be choosing the company of a muggle-born on Christmas Eve. You put down your fork, bring your gaze to his, and let out an exhausted breath.

"Nott, what do you want?"

Hearing his last name from you makes his jaw clench. It was cold and formal, stripped of any history you two shared.

"Just wanted to know if you were as happy as you looked."

"You have no right to that type of information anymore."

"Humour me."

You glare at him. Theodore looks back at you with such shy tenderness that your gaze softens slightly.

Am I happy? you think.

Some days, sure. But most days, you find yourself wandering back to that dreadful night in September. Even after all these months, you still wonder if you had just said something different or fought back instead of taking it, maybe you and Theo would still be together.

It was why Ginny, the only poor soul who was aware of your relationship with Theo, had set you up with Michael Corner, a cute Ravenclaw boy in your year. He was smart, funny, and occasionally sweet, but he wasn't Theodore Nott.

Still, you persisted. You allowed yourself to indulge in the idea of being with Michael because the brooding Slytherin boy who had your heart had made his choice. You went on a few dates with Michael; he'd walk you to class, sit with you during Quidditch matches, and sometimes—when he was feeling courageous—he'd plant a kiss on your lips in the middle of the bustling corridor.

"I am." You lie, and you bite down on the insides of your cheeks. What good would it do to admit you weren't, especially to the cause of your turmoil?

Theodore watches you, practically analyzing your features. He doesn't have to say anything for you to know he didn't believe you, and you hated that—hated him, for having been so attentive to you that your tells were obvious.

"You are?" Theodore questions.

"That's what I said, didn't I?"

"I think you and I have a habit of saying things we don't mean."

His careful words and wistful gaze make you flush with embarrassment and anger. To this day, you still weren't sure why Theo had broken things off with you, and it was something that had kept you up countless nights. Through gritted teeth and cheeks stinging with remembered hurt, you say, "What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means," Theodore starts, his eyes flickering around to ensure no one was listening in. While a few lingering glances were sent your way, everyone was spread out far enough that it'd be hard to eavesdrop. He drops his voice anyway. "I shouldn't have said what I did that night. I didn't mean it. I don't mean it."

The anger bubbling in the pit of your stomach erupts, your eyes blazing. "Is this some sick game to you? It's been three months, Theodore. I spent three months crying over you and wondering what the hell I did to you to be so bloody cruel. And now when I'm finally ready to move on from you, you come back to tell me you... you didn't mean it?" The last words leave a dirty, salty taste in your mouth.

"No, no," Theodore shakes his head, swallowing thickly as you recounted the months of hell. He hadn't been doing any better either, but Theo was generally good at hiding his afflictions. Numbing the pain with weed and alcohol were among his favourite remedies. "It's not a game. It was never a game. You should know me well enough to know that I would never mean any of the things I said."

"Know you?" You almost laugh. You had replayed the breakup and the weeks leading up to it in your mind countless times, trying to make sense of the bullshit non-reason he had given when he broke up with you but nothing made sense. The whole thing made you spiral, questioning everything that had ever happened between you two. "I'm actually convinced I never really knew you, because the guy I knew would never have done that to me."

Having had enough of the conversation, you get up, leaving your half-eaten plate and a pained Theodore at the Gryffindor table. You're almost past the door of the Great Hall when Theo, as a last-ditch effort, grabs a hold of your wrist, hauling you to a stop. You let out a small huff and turn to face him.

"Meet me in the Astronomy Tower after dark." Theodore says softly, almost pleadingly. He makes a conscious effort to ignore all the prying eyes that turned.

"Because that worked out so well for me last time."

"Just—please. If you want to continue never speaking to each other again after that, then fine. But at least let me explain."

You had every intention of ignoring Theodore’s request. He didn’t deserve a chance to explain—the statute of limitations for explaining ended months ago. And yet, you found yourself sneaking out of the Gryffindor common room and up to the Astronomy Tower, inebriated by the countless what-ifs and string of memories: Theo sneaking a kiss on your lips as everyone turned to view whatever Hagrid had for Care of Magical Creatures, Theo resting his hand on your thigh during potions, Theo winking at you as you watched him play Quidditch.

“You’re here.” Theodore says, just as you reach the top of the staircase. He was sitting by the railing.

“I am,” you say as you walk toward him reluctantly. You settle next to him.

Theodore looks at you, and it looks like he’s about to say something, but then he shuts his eyes, shakes his head, and sighs.

You’ve never seen him at a loss for words. He was intentionally silent, sure, but his quick wit never failed him.

“I’ve regretted that night every day, you know.” He speaks up, his solemn eyes trained on yours. “I replay it over and over.”

Theodore’s gaze is unrelenting, brimming with seriousness and a vulnerability that you haven’t seen before. You tear your gaze away from his because the more he talks and looks at you like this, the more you find it hard to breathe.

“Then why do it? Why say those things?” You manage to ask.

Theodore’s jaw clenches. “Lesser of two evils.”

When you look at him with a confused expression, he continues, “It was better to lose you on those terms than to lose you completely.”

Silence falls on both of you, filling the space like a thick fog.

“I lost my mom when I was seven.” Theodore explains, his eyes darkening. “A freak accident.”

Out of the year you and Theo dated in secret, he had rarely mentioned his mom. And if he did, it was small tidbits—precious memories. Regardless of how small and insignificant the memory would seem to others, you gathered how important Theo’s mom was to him. Underneath Theo’s stoic expressions and calculating demeanour was a softness to Theo that could only be accredited to his mom.

“She got caught in the crossfire between some death eaters.” Theodore says, his expression pained. He drops his gaze now, but you keep your eyes on him. There’s a mixture of grief and anger that flashes across his features, and it takes everything in you to hold yourself back from reaching for him. To comfort him.

“It took me years to get over it. I don’t even think I am yet—I’m still angry at my father for allowing this shit into our lives and for continuing to do it.” Theodore says, letting out an exasperated breath. You knew what everyone else knew about Theo’s father—he was a blood purist, rumoured to be loyal to you-know-who. He’d hate you the moment he’d find out you were muggle-born.

Theo meets your gaze now, and it’s your turn to feel winded. It was like you were looking at your Theo again. The sweet, sarcastic, pain-in-your-ass-but-in-a-good-way Theo. “I lost my mom, who meant the world to me, and I knew I wouldn’t be able to handle it if I lost you too. So I pushed you away. I figured it was best to cut our losses before I pulled you into something you had no reason being in. Before I lost you permanently.”

“What’s changed?” You ask, shaking your head. His words were hard to process, but the pieces of the last few months were beginning to click into place. “I’m still me, and last I heard, your dad was still your dad.”

“I realized that, in a way, I was kind of like my dad.”

“What?”

“I mean,” Theo says. “My dad never gave any of us a choice. Not me, and not my mom. We always had to go along with him and deal with the consequences of his actions. I took a choice away from you, and you just had to deal with it. I don’t want to do that anymore. I still think I did it for the right reasons, but I regret it. I want to be with you. I should have told you what I was worried about—told you about the risks of being with me, so we could make a decision together.”

Together.

That’s all you wanted. You were more than willing to have dealt with any obstacle that was thrown your way, so long as you had Theo by your side.

But that was three months ago. And while his words brought goosebumps, butterflies, and heart palpitations, they also brought a slew of conflicting feelings. You understood why he broke things off now, and although his reasoning was well-intended, it didn’t excuse the fact that you had spent the last three months in a state of despair and heartbreak. You didn’t eat as much, your grades dropped, and you couldn’t even look at him until recently in fear of tears and the overwhelming rush of memories.

“So?”

“Theo,” you say softly. Your eyes search his face.

There’s a ghost of a smile on his lips at the sound of his name. Not Theodore, not Nott. Theo.

“I don’t know what you want me to say.”

He exhales sharply at your response, and his expression shifts as he turns to face the horizon. He wanted you to say it was worth the risk and that you wanted to be with him as much as he did. He wanted you to forgive him for what he did to you. “It’s fine.”

“No—I just... I need to think.” You say quickly. Your heart was screaming for him, but your brain was weary. And if the past three months taught you anything, it was that you needed to act with your brain and not your heart. “I just need time. This was a lot to process.”

“Right, of course.” Theo says with a curt nod. He turns to you again, offering a weak smile. It was his heart’s turn to break. “Well, thanks for coming tonight and letting me explain. I guess, just let me know.”

You watch him stand, brush the dirt off his robes, and turn away. Just as he reaches the staircase back down, he looks back at you. Your eyes catch his gorgeous arctic eyes, your cheeks burning and your heart racing.

"Merry Christmas, by the way." Theo says before he descends down the stairs.

[siriustaylorsversion]

Nevermind (Taylor Swift x reader) She has always owned my heart pt.4

finally got over my writers block so this is a little long <3 thankyou so much @karsonromanoff for the idea!!

part one, two and three

enews

enews does anyone hear wedding bells? singer yourname.official seen wearing an ENGAGEMENT RING in a new interview... what news do her and taylorswift bring??? liked by tomhalland2013, y/n_sink and 4,205,600 others.

y/n.sink WHAT IS GOING ON IS THIS REAL????

tay.y/nforevermore TMZ POSTED AND TOM HOLLAND LIKED THIS IS HAPPENING theerastour.updates IM FREAKING OUT WHAT THE HELL

costataylorsversion IM GONNA CRY IF THIS IS NOT TRUE IM SO HAPPY

conangray my mothers are doing what now??

oliviarodrigo oh my god yourname.official SO HAPPY FOR YOU

siriustaylorsversion NOT #mymothersaremarried TRENDING ON TWITTER WHAT 😭😭😭

snehit.13 NOT LEAVING MY PHONE UNTIL THEY CONFIRM

blakelively oh wow

tay.y/nforevermore WHAT DO YOU MEAN 'WOW'?????? y/n.sink MOM WHAT'S HAPPENING

y/n_sink

y/n_sink it's yourname.official's new story AND OH MY GOD MY PARENTS ARE MARRIED IM DEAD liked by woodvaleisreal, y/n_sink and 100,309 others.

y/nandsadie.forevermore FORGET TEARDROPS MY GUITAR IS FLOODED

y/ntourupdates but her story is so real 😭😭😭

folkmore.forevermore THIS IS WHAT WE NEEDED BEST NEWS TO START THE NEW YEAR

yourname.official

yourname.official IM OPENING FOR THE LOVE OF MY LIFE (and the highest grossing tour, I could not be prouder) liked by tomhalland2013, blakelively and 7,208,600 others.

taylorswift could not be more excited, my love 🥹🩷🩷

blakelively my favorite girls, oh my god <3

folkmore.forevermore CONGRATS ON THE ENGAGEMENT

y/nandsadie.forevermore YOU'RE MARRIED????????

woodvaleisreal SO SO HAPPY FOR YOU GUYS AAAAHHH

conangray CONGRATULATIONS, MOTHER (why didn't you tell me??)

yourname.official what's up with the comments?

tomholland2013 i might've accidentally liked a post... yourname.official uh huh.... tomholland2013 it might've accidentally been about your nonexistent wedding, nevermind... yourname.official you're dead, spidey. folkmore WAIT WHAT IS GOING ON??

taylorswift

taylorswift we got married? looking at all the fake wedding drama like 😦 liked by yourname.official, blakelively and 7,208,600 others.

yourname.official it was fun while it lasted 💘

zendaya wait, what drama??

tomholland2013 nothing, nothing at all. i- zendaya you good?? yourname.official got him mid-sentence... rest in peace, holland

forever.more I'M CRYING WHY IS THIS ONE NOT TRUE

y/n_sink i have never been this heartbroken, why.

folkmore.forevermore WHAT NOOO??????

blakelively i thought you didn't tell us </3

taylorswift you'd be the first one to know when it does happen tomholland you'd say yes to her? why?? yourname.official shush, you're dead.

y/ntourupdates THAT'S IT I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE

jimmyfallon

jimmyfallon we're gonna have yourname.official talking about the eras tour, the wedding rumors and should she "pull a monica" for a surprise proposal? don't worry, blondie can't see this post liked by yourname.official, blakelively and 3,200,600 others.

comments on this post have been limited

yourname.official i should go do it...

blakelively best of luck, darling <3

tmz

tmz We are not coming to you with fake news this time, that time was in yourname.official's words... "all Tom Hollands fault". On the Jimmy Fallon show, the singer revealed that all the comments by the fans made her reflect on her relationship and said that "I couldn't be happier being with my girlfriend and I just think maybe we should get married. Taylor was scared at first that the people would believe the news and we'd have to get married when I'm not ready but.. it's like that one f.r.i.e.n.d.s. episode, maybe I should pull a monica and ask her." We could not be happier for the couple, now it's up to Ms. Swift to follow her own lyrics and baby just say yes. liked by zendaya, blakelively and 5,060,700 others.

forever.more I WAS WATCHING AND I LITERALLY SOBBED WHEN SHE SAID THIS, THEY ARE PERFECT FOR EACH OTHER

y/n_sink THEY BETTER GET MARRIED BECAUSE OH MY GOD

folkmore.forevermore IMPATIENTLY WAITING FOR NEW NEWS ON THIS BECAUSE THIS IS THE BEST THING TO BEGIN THE YEAR WITH

gracieabrams they both have such a way with words, I'm actually crying.

yourname.official

yourname.official NEVERMIND, SHE SAID YES liked by taylorswift, blakelively and 11,060,789 others.

taylorswift I LOVE YOU SO MUCH OF COURSE I SAID YES

yourname.official YOU'RE GONNA MAKE ME CRY AGAIN

gracieabrams FINALLY 🥹💖💖

tomholland13 to think i made this happen

yourname.official shUSH tomholland2013 congratulations and you're welcome 🙄💕

conangray YOU'RE FINALLY MARRIED AAAAAAHHHHH

oliviarodrigo CONGRATS GUYS!!

forever.more YOU GUYS ARE PERFECT FOR EACH OTHER, THIS IS AMAZING

y/n_sink LITERALLY THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE

taylorswift

taylorswift of course i said yes, there is no other answer when it comes to her 🩷🩷🩷 liked by yourname.official, blakelively and 13,000,000 others.

had a lot of fun writing this, maybe I'll make the wedding a part 5? stay happy and hydrated!

[verosikastrikerstellaexcuser]

Regarding Stolas and Stella. It says something that both their VAs were thinking there was something more to their relationship than the actual showrunner.

Fans wanna throw up this excuse that “their headcanons weren’t true.” But what about the actual input from the actors? Do they not get a say in their own characters?

Also I have to be honest, this whole arranged marriage has been completely pointless as a ‘plotline’ because Stella is just a nothing character and Andreaphuls is going to be the big bad.

You can write Stella out of the show and nothing changes, hell in hindsight she wasn’t even needed for S1. You can have her just be dead and things can play out the same. Striker could still be involved, just don’t show who hired him, but it’s revealed later that it’s Andre.

Yea definitely I find it very notable that her VA thought we'd see more of her side of things and then... nope. So many people thought there would be more to her, and that doesn't translate to thinking she'd be a good person like the "stop crying about your HC" people insist, but rather, we simply thought she'd be, A PERSON AT ALL. She was set up to be genuinely upset over being cheated on, like so many of her S1 scenes are her screaming with rage and throwing things and panting over it. We also had this plotline that once the Stella/Stolas marriage had been happier. These people insisting Stella was always just evil seem to forget the S1 era of this show and how its subtlety was so good. How it was able to tell us a lot without insane biased BLITZO KYS party type writing. Remember this dialogue? (Sidenote, God seeing this makes me remember why I used to like Stolas and this show a lot less critically its such a shame it used to be so good).

There was a lot of intrigue and mystery as to how things occurred in regards to their marriage at this point in time but we knew Octavia, granted she was a young child in the early marriage but still, she saw the home environment as having changed. I think her missing signs as a child because she was little could explain some of it... but clearly there was more to everything than that alone. And she blamed STOLAS specifically for it from what we saw. She says to him you ruined it, aka the cheating was the instigating event. Stolas' "I thought love would be fun" in the song of this episode and his failed explanations to Octavia suggested multiple possibilities. Back then a lot of people suspected Stolas was gay and now in 2024 we know its true, so the scenarios that seemed to be at play were either:

A) Neither of them loved each other but pretended to for Octavia's sake and maybe other reasons, but then Stolas broke that arrangement by sleeping with Blitz which angered Stella for reasons outside of love ie reputation.

B) Stella genuinely loved Stolas while he never did her, he tried to make it work but just couldn't, leading to Stella being furious over being arranged married to a guy, falling in love with him, only to find out he never loved her and no longer wanted to pretend.

Both of these are really interesting and this all felt so much different than S2 imo. We didn't need to be spoon fed a side to pick. Getting to have seen which of those scenarios it was and Stella's perspective would have been so good. At this point in time they were both victims and in turn the arranged marriage had made Octavia one too as she was stuck caught between them and their drama. It felt nuanced, realistic, interesting and cool. Stolas was still allowed to fuck up back then (just like Stella). It was painted as understandable but still a fuck up. Now, hes just a victim, victim, victim, and to write him as one, they took this interesting thing and twisted it into something else.

They made Stella some evil animal torturing bitch from birth that seemingly was completely unaffected by being raised and forced into an arranged marriage and that decided to devote her sole existence to stick around Stolas to torment him in various over the top and cruel ways (what is with this show and making people throw hate parties). Instead of being ANGRY, like she was in S1, panting with rage and clearly stressed, shes gleefully happy when it comes to her urge to hurt Stolas and at the idea of hurting him? How in the fuck is writing Stella to be like that instead of just focusing on how she felt about the marriage and how it affected her not outlandishly unrealistic and weird and stupid? Being forced into an arranged marriage and then the guy not loving you and cheating on you would hurt and affect anyone. Yet she seems so unaffected. Shes not allowed to actually feel anything other than hate for Stolas, she can feel no grief for herself, love for her daughter, sorrow at having to move out of her home for the past 18 or so years, nothing. Shes just a device to beat on Stolas so we feel sorry for him and she has no goals or thoughts outside of it.

Even fucking VALENTINO in Hazbin was shown to have more depth than this in that he was allowed to be shown to be upset at Angel changing where he lived. Yes it was shown as unhinged abuser's upset, but he shown as being bothered and hurt by Angel not wanting to be around him. I repeat: Rapist pimp Valentino who has convinced several people into abusive sexually exploitative soul contracts was allowed to be shown to be hurt and to long for someone more than Stella was.

Stella is so much so a device instead of a person that they had to shove in a brother character and divorce settlement plotline to overturn the assassination plotline (since that too has fulfilled its purpose as Stolitz drama now). All of this nobody saw coming because all of it was barely set up to the point Stella is still actively working against this new plotline once it comes in and is told by her brother she's a stupid cow and to stop doing what shes doing. And so she does. Instead of getting to drive her own story and goal and what she wants, instead of perhaps being written to change her mind herself, to choose to focus on something else even temporarily, nope, just have a man command her what to do (while still giving her no sympathy over being merely a puppet either of course). Now its time for the bullshit Andrealphus plotline so Stella can be replaced by the gay male character who gets to be a relevant plot driving antagonist instead. Its pathetic writing.

This show constantly does this. It sets things up, people get invested, then it gives them the middle finger and tells them they're stupid idiots for seeing what was actively shown and trusting the writing and it focuses on something else its now decided instead. Striker being bigoted straight and a joke is another example. The fact he appeared in Blitz's dream sequence, flirted with him while proposing blitz follow an alternate path in life in which they work together - nope you saw none of that he's just a dumb joke and you're dumb for seeing things and expecting consistency!

[theangelsheardyou]

In the mood for some angst? Here's some bsd men x terminally ill reader🩷

Dazai:

• Atsushi notices that everyday, Dazai leaves work early to go...somewhere. it's not like the guy is the type to follow a schedule so he can't tell where exactly he's been going lately. When he asks he just plays it off as a joke, tho he does notice how his gaze seems to be so distant lately.

• turns out, everyday these past few weeks Dazai has been visiting you in the hospital. He always comes with a sweet little gift, nothing extravagant, maybe a flower he knows you like or a cup of coffee from a place you used to frequent.

• he would spend hours with you, just the two of you in that sterilized little hospital room, talking about anything and everything. His demeanor is nonchalant, yet more soft and sensitive to you. He's always had a soft spot for you after all.

• when he learned of your condition he didn't try to "cure" it or "fix" it. He decided that he will love you and stay with you and make you feel like nothing has changed as much as he can. He keeps up with the jokes, the gifts, and tries to make you feel as normal as you used to feel.

• you notice how he stares at you more often, how he looks deeper into your eyes when you talk. As if he's trying to memorize every feature before it all goes away.

• he's decided that once you're gone, is when he will go too. He doesn't want to live without you. He laughs to himself a little bit, a soft, gentle chuckle, at the thought. "It's not the way I would have wanted, but now I finally get to die with you."

• he thinks he's so good at keeping this plan from you. That he's hiding it completely out of your line of sight. But you know Dazai. You know him better than anyone. You know how much he loves you. And the day you part ways your last wish to him is that he continues to live, to move on, to be with his friends and do what he wants to do. And once you're gone, he never thinks of suicide again.

Chuuya:

• at first, he does everything he can to find a cure. He spends thousands on doctors and doctors all specializing in your condition. But they all say the same thing. It can't be cured.

• you notice how much this is eating him up, how he's been more cranky, more irritable, he's never resting. He barely even gives time to visit you at the hospital as he's always on the search for a new doctor who will finally tell him what he wants. That there's a way out of this, a way for you to continue being in his life. But to no avail.

• your request is final, it's the last thing you ask him for. You want him to rest, to give up, and to just enjoy the time you have left. At first he's speechless. His eyes are smaller and wider than you've ever seen them. It feels as though his heart had stopped beating, his blood stopped pumping, and the world just went quiet for a second.

• then there comes the anger. The frustration. How can you just ask him that? To let you go? To just stand by as this stupid illness takes you away? Don't you know how much you mean to him? Don't you care?

• Chuuya doesn't visit you for a while after that. He spends time alone. Not even drinking the wine he loves so much, the bottles he had been saving for a special occasion, the ones with you in it. He stares blankly at nothing, thinking of nothing. The world could end right there and then but he would still be in this state. At least we'd go together, he thinks.

• meanwhile, you remain at the hospital, in the same bed, in the same room. A part of you is happy, because now Chuuya can move on. He can forget about you and finally be happy, happier than he'll ever be with you. You smile at the thought. You used to think that this time would be full of tears. But you were never one to cry. Neither was Chuuya.

• it's sunset. The end of the last month your doctor said you had left. Your body has weakened, you can't even get out of bed. At this point they've stopped trying, stopped filling you with meds and serums and shots. Stopped plugging you into machines and machines and machines. There are no more pipes around your body. No more wires. No more tubes. They've decided to let you go peacefully, and make you feel as if you were sleeping in your own bed, in your own home.

• on the last day, Chuuya is there.

• he stands at the doorway, calm and collected. He enters the room without a word. All he does is sit next to you, and take your hand in his. You look at him and smile.

• "I'm here, doll." He says.

• he wants to apologize. To atone for leaving you alone for so long. For forcing you in this room by yourself. But he knows you hate apologies. He just wants to spend the last remaining moments he has with you, with you.

• as he's sitting on that little chair next to you, watching your breathing get slower and slower, softer and softer, your life force fading away, he examines your face. Your eyes, your nose, your lips. He examines how your hair is fixed into the way you always did it, as if nothing has changed.

• he wants to say something, the last thing you will ever hear.

"I won't forget you,",

"I'll never leave you,"

Something like that. But he doesn't.

Instead he sits and watches you, in complete silence. He only realizes now that you two have been so loud and noisy the whole time you've known each other. Simple conversations are said in such loud voices, but you both loved it that way. But this time, you both decided it would be quiet. Peaceful. A contrast to the unusually loud and vulgar lives you both have lived. An end to a chapter.

Fyodor:

• Like Chuuya, Fyodor isn't one to give up so easily. He goes beyond doctors, or medicine, or anything so ordinary.

• he goes for the Book.

• the one thing that can change anything. All of this. He can give you a better life, one without all the dirt and bloodshed he had associated you with. One where you're happy, living in the house of your dreams, with all the things you've ever wanted, happier than ever.

• a life without him.

• Fyodor loved you too much to watch you get tainted by his own filth. He always thought it was too late for him, but not for you. But now you don't have all that time. Now he has to erase everything. Erase every part of you that was dirtied by him. With a new life free of him, you would finally, truly, be happy.

• He's off on dangerous missions. Making all sorts of enemies. All to do the last thing he could to make you happy.

• "Fedya," you called, your voice as sweet and soft as it always was. He snaps out of his trance, not realizing his gaze was so far away. "Yes, dear?" He answers, hard, sharp eyes softening upon seeing you. "Come here," you ask.

• he stands up from the chair he was sitting on across the room from you, and walks to your bedside. He puts a hand on your pillow, careful not to touch you. He knows very well that your unique condition is not one that is contagious. Even if it was that wouldn't be the reason he isn't touching you. It's all symbolic, he doesn't want to dirty you any more than he already has. He wants to keep this valuable, albeit cracked little porcelain doll in this state, before it slowly disappears.

• "Hold my hand, Fedya." You tell him. Breaking from his symbolic gestures, he takes your hand in his, caressing you with his thumb as he does so.

• "I want you to do something for me," you ask, not meeting his gaze. "Of course, dear." He answers almost immediately. He knows you never ask him for anything unless it was really important.

• "I want you to stop looking for that book." You say. Fyodor's eyes widen a little, a frown almost forming on his face. But he's smart enough to not need a reason. And he knows you well enough to know you don't want a sappy little conversation between the two of you filled with tears and cries.

• It takes a moment, but he smiles and nods. "Okay," he says. "Anything for you, myshka."

• your final moments are spent with him telling you a story, reading from a book you used to love. It was in Russian, and he would read it to you as a pastime before going to bed together. Even after you're gone, he keeps reading. All the way until he finishes the book. He closes it and looks at you. Your eyes are closed, your mouth is slightly open, as if you were just asleep. He gets up and kisses you on the forehead, and doesn't leave until the doctors come in.

Ok that's all! And sorry but usually when I say "bsd men" I mean these three idiots who I love with my whole heart and my whole pussy🤗 also sorry if some were kinda out of character, especially fyodor, I haven't seen him much in the anime yet since I haven't gotten to s5😅

[hyunfilms]

blue side of the sky (lmh) | eleven.

♡ spotify playlist | series masterlist

—summary: waking up after 3 months with no recollection of your past, your friends do what they can to help you remember. except, they omit an important piece to the puzzle - afraid you would remember the heartbreak and hurt all over again.

—pairing: lee know x f. reader

—genre: (18+) exes to lovers, bestfriends to lovers au | fluff, angst, (eventual) smut

—word count: 4.1k

—chapter content/warnings: cussing, a little look into mrs. pak and oc's relationship at work, mentions of cancer, flashbacks - one is just a random little moment with friends and the other is more oc x minho centered.., oc x san content, most of this is centered on oc's feelings 🥺

"So, are you seeing your friend today?" Mrs. Pak turns to you while you stand at the register, smiling as she puts a small bouquet together next to you.

"San?" She nods. "Yes. We're just going to eat and catch a movie."

"Sounds like a date?" You giggle.

"Nooo." You elongate your response. "We're just friends, Mrs. Pak."

"Have you guys hung out before?"

"Every now and then, we'd see each other for a meal or to walk around. Nothing too extravagant." You chuckle. "We talk almost everyday."

"That's sweet. Do you enjoy his company?"

"I do. He's very nice. I feel comfortable around him, and I feel like that's been hard for me post-accident." You look at her. It hasn't been long since you've started working with Mrs. Pak, but she was easy to confide in. You opened up to her about your accident, losing your mom and not remembering those details— losing every bit of you and not remembering things before the accident. You told her you felt like you were finally settling in in this world, this new chapter, new reality. It's been very difficult, but you were starting to feel comfortable and at ease.

The same thing goes for Mrs. Pak, as she's had help come and go in the shop. But, she's never felt so.. content and happy with your presence. You could simply walk into the room and Mrs. Pak feels like she'd never be alone. For awhile, she's felt alone— especially after she suddenly lost her husband to cancer.

But now, you're here and she feels better. Happier. More alive.

And she's not sure how you do it, but she is grateful. She is grateful you are helping, she is grateful you care. She is grateful you are here.

"That's good, no? It's important that you surround yourself around good people." You smile.

"Yeah. I agree."

"What if he likes you?" You raise a brow and shake your head with a small giggle. "I mean of course, you can always be friends. But, what if?"

"Then, I'm not so sure. He's very sweet. I just don't think—" You let out a breath. "I don't know—" Pause. "Maybe I'm not ready?" But, before you can follow up with an explanation, Mrs. Pak is jumping in.

"I don't think it's that, love. I think you'll be ready when the right time comes." She smiles. "I think you have your mind set on someone else." You blush.

"W-what? No." 

"I can see it in those lovely eyes of yours, dear." She giggles as you look back down to your hands, remembering the time you've been spending with your friends, with Minho— times at the studio, his café, random kick-its in the city.

Most importantly, you think about how Minho started to feel more and more like your bestfriend. But lately, he's felt a little warmer, a little closer. He looks at you a little differently, keeps you close a little differently.

Like you are his bestfriend,

Like you remind him of love— a certain memory, probably a certain form of love.

☁︎ FLASHBACK | HANGING OUT AT THE FOODIELAND NIGHT MARKET A COUPLE OF NIGHTS AGO

"Dude, dude, dude!" Jisung excitedly calls out. "I need to try those garlic noodles with the lobster. Ooh, and the bungeoppang?!" Jisung starts to point in every direction. "Wait, the ramen burgers—"

"Can we just make our way around?" Seungmin pushes him aside.

"Why, do you plan on eating the entire night market?" Jisung tries to be sassy with his response.

"Yeah, maybe?" Seungmin snaps back, making Chan shakes his head.

"Okay, shut up. Let's just walk." Chan starts to lead the way by walking backwards. He shoots a smile at you before asking: "What about you though, Y/N? Anything catch your eye? We'll go there first."

"Hm, I'm not sure yet. I'm kinda down for whatever." You shrug a bit, tugging at the ends of your sweater sleeves while Minho stands next to you.

"Garlic noodles it is!" Jisung says with a little dance, causing Seungmin to smack him upside the head as the group starts to make their way over to the food booth.

"Are you okay? Are you cold?" Minho looks down at you with concern.

"A bit. I probably shouldn't have left my jacket in the car, huh?" You giggle and he nods.

"Have to say Jisung was right for that one." He does a slight head tilt before he's removing his zip up and placing it over your shoulders. "Better?"

"Oh, Minho. You don't have to, you're in a t-shirt—" He shrugs.

"It's okay, Y/N. I can live." He chuckles a bit. "It's not too bad for me. I'd rather you be comfortable than not." You slip your arms into the sleeves.

"Thank you." He smiles.

"Yeah." He continues to remain by your side as the group falls in line at the first food vendor. Jisung is venting about his coworker to Seungmin and Chan, his eyes subtly falling on Minho's jacket that you're currently wearing.

"You shouldn't have left your jacket in the car, cielo." Jisung does a slight pout. "Do you need me to run back and—"

"No, it's fine! Minho's will do." You look up at Minho and he nods in agreement.

"It's fine? Why stress?" Minho furrows his brows at him, making Jisung shrug.

"Okay then. Don't come crying to me when you get cold." He points at Minho.

"Why on earth why I do that? I wouldn't, even if you were the last person here."

"Good, I don't wanna help you anyway." Jisung spits back, making you roll your eyes and shove him forward."

"Pachi, the line is moving." He inches forward with another shove from Chan.

"Why is everyone fucking pushing me today?!"

"Because we can literally lose our spot in line!" Chan says with a low groan. "I knew this was gonna be a headache." He continues to go on while him, Seungmin and Jisung stand in front of you and Minho. The line continues to move until your group is at the front, with Chan offering to pay for everyone to make it easier. 

Afterwards, the group decides to make their way around to get drinks and dessert— you opting for some sugarcane juice and bungeoppang that you'll share. You slide yourself onto the top of the picnic table, with Minho standing next to you; Jisung, Chan and Seungmin occupying the rest of the space on your opposite side. 

"This was really good." You set aside the noodles and sip on your juice. 

"See, what'd I tell you?" Jisung smiles. "So good. I think I'm gonna go around some more."

"For what?" Seungmin asks.

"I wanna try some other stuff." Jisung stands. "Anybody wanna come?"

"I'll go." Seungmin joins him.

"Pass." Chan adds. "I'm actually going to check out that booth really quickly." He points at one of the retail vendors, stretching as he stands and gets ready to head over.

"I'm good." You say with a small smile.

"Same." Minho says before sipping on his drink.

"Party poopers." Jisung says. "Cielo, text me if you want something else." You nod, watching as they turn and start to walk back towards the food booths, Chan already at the retail booth he was eyeing. 

"You sure you don't want anything else?" You shake your head and raise the bungeoppang up to Minho. 

"No, this will do me some good. Split this with me?" He nods, taking the bungeoppang as he sits next to you and makes an even split down the middle. You smile as he hands you your piece, gobbling it up quicker than expected. Minho smiles just as you finish up, wiping your hands on the napkin by the table. You miss some crumbs at the corner of your mouth, and he's suddenly having to force himself to not reach. Though, it feels like the worst internal battle and he knows he's going to lose this one the moment you look back up at him. "W-what?" You look at Minho staring at you, confused. He smiles and laughs a bit before he takes his thumb to the corner of your lip and wipes away at the lingering crumbs. You watch, blushing as he takes his thumb away and wipes it on his napkin. "Oh."

"All good."

"You sure?" You ask and he chuckles.

"I think so." He tilts his head to the side to quickly scan the other corner of your mouth. "Yeah, you're good."

"Thank you." You smile toothlessly at him and he wants to scream. God, you're so cute. Why was he such a fucking dumbass? "You're taking care of me a lot tonight."

"I'm happy to."

☁︎ END

You look down at your hands, unsure of what to say. Because Mrs. Pak is probably right— no, she is. You're just not sure what it means for you, or him. 

He is your bestfriend.

Why do you feel much more for him? 

Why do you feel connected at a much, much deeper level?

Too attached, almost.

"I hope you know that it's totally okay. But maybe, it's something you'll need to confront earlier than later. To keep your friendship with San?"

"You're right." You tell her with a small, pursed smile. "If it comes up tonight, I'll just.. be honest with him."

"It's the only way to do it, hun." You nod in agreement before shifting your attention to the couple that just walked in.

The rest of your shift goes by rather quickly, with you cleaning around the shop and helping make one last bouquet before San strolls in. He has a huge smile on his face, waving to you just as he makes his way closer.

"San, hey." You giggle as he makes it to the counter, eyeing the single roses off to the side.

"Hey! Sorry, am I bit early?" You shake your head as you wrap up the bouquet you were working on.

"No, I'm just finishing this up!" At this point, Mrs. Pak comes out from the back of the shop after rearranging the pre-ordered bouquets for tomorrow. 

"Hi." She smiles at him. "You must be San."

"And you must be Mrs. Pak." He reciprocates the smile and shakes her hand. "I've heard a lot about you! Good things."

"Oh, good. I'd hope so."

"Is it okay if I steal Y/N away for the remainder of the evening?"

"Of course." She winks at you as you undo your apron and hang it on the rack behind the counter. "Please keep her safe."

"Absolutely." He says. "It was really nice to meet you, Mrs. Pak. I hope to see you more often."

"Likewise." You bid your goodbye to Mrs. Pak, ensuring she'd be okay to close up before leaving. You throw your jacket on as you walk out of the shop, following San out onto the street— the sun heavily beaming down, giving its last burst of energy before it slowly sinks below the horizon. You quickly glance over at Sunday Morning, then shift your attention to San. "How was work today?" He asks as he leads you down to the main street.

"It was good! A bit busy, but nothing too bad." You continue to look up at him as he walks alongside of you. "What'd you do today, Sannie?"

"Hm, I worked out this morning, did some groceries and cleaned my apartment."

"Sounds like another good, productive day."

"It was. I like it when my days are good and productive." You laugh.

"So, where are we going first?"

"Well, I thought we should try out this place a few blocks down that is popular for their unagi." He smiles. "Hm, then there's Peace Piece nearby that has some good pies. I really like their drinks too."

"That sounds yummy."

"Yeah?" He laughs. "Good to know. Hopefully it'll be Y/N approved once we eat." You giggle and nod, reassuring him that you'll find any place he takes you to delicious. The walk is nice at this time of day, some streets busier than others, but it's nice. It's not long until you get to the restaurant, where San has already made a reservation to avoid the long wait. You're immediately seated in the far corner of the restaurant next to the windows, with San pulling out your chair first before settling himself in. They serve water and tea while the both of you skim through the menu, with San voicing out his recommendations and what he thinks would be good to order.

At this point, you're hungry and you agree to his plan. Everything on the menu looks amazing, and you trust San's taste.

You spend some time talking about your days and how things have been, and San has been unloading some of his work drama while you eat away. He talks about how he wants to travel again soon, but this time with JJ and their friends— whenever they all are ready and can align on schedules. Which, turns the conversation to his time away and how scary it was for him at first. San has always openly talked about being away and how different it was, but he's never really had a chance to touch up on his feelings about the entire thing. You're glad he's comfortable confiding in you, because you feel the same way. You feel like you could be honest with San, and you genuinely find a true friend in him.

As promised, he takes you to Peace Piece after since there's time to kill before the next plan. The both of you share a big, hefty slice of banana cream pie to top everything off. Afterwards, San takes you to the movies since this is the only weekend they're holding a special Studio Ghibli event. Surprisingly, you don't run into anyone you know being that the theater is located in a popular plaza.

At least to your knowledge.

Too bad Minho was around with some friends, and he does catch you with San— even though you're a good couple of feet away from him. He sees you holding onto San's arm, the two of you engaging in a lively conversation that has you laughing and smiling at him on your walk over to the movies.

And his heart breaks.

No wonder you hadn't been so responsive today. Maybe you really did like San, and Minho needed to accept it. Because he's been unfair to you before, and he'd hate to do that again. You deserved to be happy; whatever that happiness looked like to you.

He would never get in the way of that.

"Dude let's just go to the restaurant down the street, I'm hungry." Hyunjin says to one of their other friends, beginning to lead the way. "—Coming or what?" Minho barely catches onto his last question because he's too focused on watching you and San walk into the theater. It pulls him out of his thoughts enough to respond with a silent nod and a pursed smile.

Long fucking night ahead for him.

San bought two tickets for Spirited Away, selecting seats in the middle section of the theater. You plop onto the comfy, recliner chair, watching as San props his feet up and also gets comfortable. He leans over to ask if you want anything to snack on, but you tell him you'll pass as you're still feeling stuffed from dinner and dessert. Shortly after, the theater fills up and the movie is off to a start.

You're enjoying the movie so much that you miss the way San glances over at you from time to time, softly smiling at the way your eyes light up at every scene, how you're so focused and full of curiosity. Your hand rests on the middle console and San feels like such a silly little boy for even having the thought, but he acts on it anyway— resting his hand on the console right next to yours, hand slightly twitching, aching, to pull yours into his.

You don't really notice it though, at least not right now. The movie brings these small bits and feelings of nostalgia, and suddenly, you miss your friends.

Minho.

Not that San was bad company, but you kinda wish he was around.

You're pulled out of your thoughts when you feel San's hand brush over yours. You look at him and he politely asks for permission through his eyes. You give him a tiny smile and he proceeds to lace his fingers with yours. His hand is warm, and it doesn't make you uncomfortable. It feels nice, but it also doesn't feel right.

In a way where you think your hand belongs in someone else's, how your fingers are meant to be laced with another's.

Warmth felt from another's hand.

San holds your hand for the rest of the movie, even as you walk out of the theater and out to the car. He opens your door like the true gentleman he is before hopping in his seat and driving off to another location. He mentions the small beach near your house and you nod, going along with his plans since he's been great the entire night. You like spending time with San, there's no question about it.

But, you know why he wants to take you to the beach.

You know why he has that look in his eyes, you know why he looks at you the way he does.

You have to be honest, it's the only way.

Arriving at the beach, there's only a few cars parked in the lot with people walking along the sand or sitting to watch the waves under the night sky. San puts the car in park, but he doesn't get out. The car is still on, just to have the soft music playing in the background.

Thank god, it can at least fill the void when you tell him the truth.

You are nervous.

"It's so pretty tonight. The sky is so clear."

"I know, isn't it?" You lean forward to get a better view of the moon, and the way its light hits the surface of the water. "I don't remember if I used to come here often, but I hope I did. It's perfect."

"I'm sure. There's no way you'd let the opportunity pass." You both chuckle. "I.. actually wanted to talk to you about something. I figured this would be the perfect setting for it, especially before ending the night." He settles into the driver's seat before looking at you. "I honestly don't even think it's a secret anymore, but it doesn't even matter." He says with another nervous chuckle. "I wanted you to know that my feelings for you have grown." He looks at you, genuinely and truly looks at you. And it breaks your heart that you don't feel the same, that you can't be this person for San even though part of you kinda wishes you could be. "I can understand if you're not ready or anything, I don't want to rush you. But, in the amount of time we've gotten to get to know each other and hang out, I've come to care for you. A lot. We get along really well, and it's been awhile since I've felt this way with someone. Since I've felt so comfortable. And, this might sound like a stupid line but I really think you're perfect. I mean that. "

"San." You say in a gentle tone as you grab his hand and caress the top with your thumb. "You're seriously the sweetest. It's really flattering to hear that, and I'm really glad I can make you feel comfortable and everything. I really am happy that you were able to open up to me." You let out a small, shaky breath before subtly biting your lip and fiddling with your fingers. You gain more courage to look at him again, eyes wide and full of worry. But, the longer you take to respond fully, the more he begins to understand, the more he knows where this is going—

And he should've prepared for it. He should've expected it. But, it still stings a bit.

You will always be his.

You will always be Minho's.

"I—" You start but San shakes his head. "I just don't want to ruin what we built. You know? As friends. I really am grateful we've gotten close."

"You don't have to explain, Y/N." He gives off a small laugh.

"No, but, I'm just afraid. I'm.. not sure I can be the person you need me to be, San. You're amazing, you're good at everything, you're incredibly sweet—" You sigh. "I'm re-learning how to exist and I don't even know where things will take me." Truthfully, you didn't think he would be able to understand you, understand this— all of you. And you didn't want to be that pressure for him, that time-consuming, that much of a responsibility.

Because you know you will be.

"I understand." He says with a soft smile. "But, you are doing great, Y/N. Don't ever discredit yourself. You've gone through a lot and you haven't given up. Plus, look at you. You're getting back into the things that you love."

"I'm sorry, Sannie. I really am." You say, close to a whisper. "I wish I could be that person for you, but I'm still trying to figure myself out. You deserve someone who can give you their all and be present with you throughout everything and anything. I'm so sorry." You repeat.

"Don't be." He lifts your chin with his finger and gives off a tiny chuckle. "Don't be, okay?" He repeats. "I promise you everything is fine."

"Are you sure?"

"Positive." You give him a reassuring, toothless smile. "But, Y/N?"

"Hm?" You hum.

"You should tell him." You furrow your brows at him with a slight head tilt. 

"But—"

"I can just tell." He chuckles a bit before starting the car. "I'm sure he wants to talk to you about it, too."

☁︎ FLASHBACK | THE OTHER EVENING

"Hi." You race to your phone in the kitchen after showering and getting ready for bed, noticing it's Minho on the other end.

"Hey. Sorry, didn't mean to bother." You chuckle.

"I'm just at home, Minho. You're not a bother at all. Are you okay?" He sighs and nods, even though you can't see him.

"Yeah, kinda. I'm just really tired. I wanted to drop by and hang out with you for a bit, but I can barely keep my eyes open." You look at the clock and notice how it's barely 10pm. Minho must be exhausted lately.

"It's okay. You can always swing by on other days." You plop onto your bed after shutting off your lights, though you opt to keep your christmas lights on even as you settle under the sheets.

"Yeah." You can hear him yawn a bit before shuffling in his bed. "How was your day?"

"It was alright. I just went to the pottery studio before my shift at the shop."

"Cute. What did you make today?"

"I attempted to make a Kirby planter for my succulents." You chuckle. "Keyword is attempted. I hope it turns out okay because I need to re-pot my succulents soon."

"I'm sure it'll turn out great." He smiles a bit. 

"Did you have a busy day?"

"Very."

"Why don't you sleep?" You softly ask him as you lay on your side, exhaustion slowly hitting you as well.

"Mm, I wanted to hear your voice." He responds. "I didn't get to see you so I— I thought I could at least call you and talk to you." You giggle.

"But, you're tired. Are you sure that's it?" Minho thinks about your question because no, that's not it. Not at all. He wants to tell you how much he misses you, and how much he's been thinking about you. How he wishes he can hold you and kiss your cheek, your hand. How he always gets butterflies when he sees you because he likes you— 

No, loves you.

Because he does love you.

He fucked up.

He loves you.

"Minho?" You call out for him. "Are you still there?"

"Yeah, sorry."

"I thought you fell asleep."

"No. I was thinking about something."

"Like what?"

"Stuff." You chuckle.

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to, but I hope you know you can always talk to me about anything."

"I know. I just.. nevermind." He sighs and shuts his eyes. "I need to sort out my thoughts first, that's all."

"Hm." You hum. "Okay." It's obvious Minho is holding back from whatever he needs to say, but you will never force him until he's ready to. 

"You might hate me for it." He suddenly says, close to a whisper.

"Why would I ever do that? There's nothing wrong with sorting through your feelings." You say in a way that's so innocent and so.. caring, that his heart does flips in his chest. It aches. "I couldn't hate you even if I tried." It's this statement that makes Minho's heart officially crumble into pieces because even though it's reassuring to hear—

He knows there is a possibility you will.

"I don't know." He chuckles a bit. "I'm just tired I guess, I'm kinda going off the rails now."

"Go to sleep soon. I'll sleep too."

"Okay." He pauses. "Y/N?"

"Yes?" He pauses again. You patiently wait on the other end even as your eyes shut.

"I—" He lets out a breath. "I hope you rest well." He deflects.

"I hope you do, too. Will I see you this week?"

"You will."

"Try not to think about it too much now, okay? I don't want you to go to bed upset." You sleepily say.

"Hm." Minho hums. "I'll try to."

☁︎ END

⇢ 11.5 [cloud days]: here

♡ taglist: @ppiri-bahng @jihanlovic @meloncremesoda @sweetlikecherry @asjkdk @hoes4lino @skzddicted @skzho @edgaralienpoe @harui-zen @bestleeknowstan @havenwithleeknow @septicrebel @heesdazed @borahae-reads @yoontaethings @pearbunny @bintificreads @lukeys-giggle @ajxreads @everglowdaisies @allaboutsan @endzii23 @leeknowsramen @heres-your-ramen2000 @morningstardada @mal-lunar-28 @downbadreading @lilysophie @feelikecinderella @urmomma0324 @ddazed-lhs @djeniryuu @melanctton @i8rsie @maru-matt @sleepyleeji @taerifin @nattisbored @jisunglyricist @m111nho @drhsthl @nixtape-foryou @arminseas @guiltycoco @syuuji @sulkygyu @cadihyo @reianagarcia @leeknowyah @smndjdufuehr @dprkbyn @xxibreinaxx @mxnsxngie [bold = can’t tag 😭]

[karlachismylife]

MNDI fetish ramblings under the cut

Unrelated to anything but an art I just saw (I am yet to fill my queue cuz I'm trying to leave nice tags on everything but it takes energy and concentration to write things ughh) but oh my god my bootfetish is so bad I really need Ghoap to let me polish their military boots with my tongue, thick leather taste and ridges of the soles pressing into the skin. Wanna wear Soap's footprint on my cheek. I guess we'd do Ghost's boots together. I just. I really love nice military and look-alike boots okay. It's not funny how worked up I get about them.

And, like, I don't want them to be mean about it, really, I'm absolutely not into that (no shaming to anyone who is), maybe a bit detached with a loving followup (I'm really bad with attachement issues). I just want their boots. Wanna feel the weight of their foot pushing me down between shoulderblades until my face is smushed into the laces of the other boot, no hands allowed, just to kiss all over the black leather and lick from the toe up and then try to take it up into my mouth, heaviness pushing my jaw open as I drool all over it. Just nuzzle into the leather-smelling surface and feel them step on my shoulders, my bowing head, that muscle connecting the shoulder and the neck that's always too tense by me. Wanna hug their knees after I'm done worshipping their boots and and just squeeze so hard because I love them and it wasn't about getting off, it's just about silly me being in love with ghoap and nice black leather military boots.

P.S. Honestly I'm so happy that having a real man in a uniform almost step on me didn't ruin this for me cuz I'm really getting happier just thinking about all this

[aita-blorbos]

AITA for helping him murder three of our classmates?

I (17F) go to this really shitty high school with these three bitches,let's call them RH, GH, and YH. I got to hang out with them as long as I forged them notes and hall passes, which kept me off everyone else's shit list, but it was a precarious position.

It all really started going wrong at this party, where I was feeling really uncomfortable, I was under the influence, and I threw up on RH. Then I kinda told her that she was a bitch. Social suicide, basically, so after leaving I decided, "fuck it, might as well have sex with that edgy guy from class".

The next morning, the guy (17m, let's call him J) and I went over to RH's house so I could try to apologize and maybe do something nasty to her coffee. J switched it out with drain cleaner, next thing I know I'm forging RH's suicide note so we don't go to jail. It worked out, people were happier without her, I think.

At this point J and I were practically dating, and he kept telling me this was okay, this was right, he loves me and that justifies it. So when these two other guys from school,K and R, started spreading some awful rumors about having done things with me, neither of us were happy.

J said the bullets were fake, we'd fake them having a gay suicide pact but they'd wake up in a few days with some ruined reputations. The bullets weren't fake, I nearly killed a man, but I think our town got slightly less homophobic?

Some other stuff happened, I tried breaking up with J, he turned to be really toxic and nearly killed me, I had to fake my own death, he nearly blew up the school, I stopped him, he committed suicide.

Nobody knows the truth except for me. Everyone else thinks these were all suicides, and I feel really guilty about it because as much as they were all assholes, they didn't deserve death in their teen years. I know J was manipulative, but wasn't I complicit?

[lowkeyerror]

Comfort

Wanda Maximoff x Reader

Word Count: 1.3k

Notes: High school Au, fluff, comfort, 1st person

Summary: Reader is dragged along to a sleepover at the Maximoff's house. However when she gets there Wanda isn't her usual happy-go-lucky self. She seeks comfort in the reader, which is a shock to the entire group.

Masterlist | Pt2 | Pt3

" Y/n?"

I pulled my gaze away from my phone only to be met with my whole friend group staring at me.

" Hm," I gave them my attention.

" Sleepover at the Maximoff's, you're going," Natasha told me rather than asking.

" What if I had plans?"

Tony laughed," We are the only people you interact with."

Tony's words cause me to roll my eyes," By choice, Richie Rich."

I didn't have a problem staying at the Maximoff household. In fact, they had the second-nicest house in the group (only second to Tony). I just had to keep my mean streak alive.

" So we'll see you there?" Wanda asked enthusiastically.

She was my polar opposite in the group. While she was the popular, bubbly, cheerleader; I was the sarcastic, yet quiet, pessimistic one of the group. She was the yin to my yang in a way.

Before I could answer, Natasha stepped in again," I'll pick her up at 6."

Wanda was still waiting for my own confirmation. I nodded and let out a heavy sigh," I mean, it doesn't sound like I have much of a choice."

A smile presented itself over her features," Good, it's not the same without you."

I looked away from the group to hide the light blush on my face from Wanda's kind words.

" Yes, because Y/n has so much budding personality," Clint chimed in.

" Clint, all of your personality comes from Laura, maybe we should invite her instead?"

Bruce broke out in laughter," You poked the bear and got the claws, my friend."

" So what time? What should I bring? Will there be adult supervision or?"

I tuned out the conversation as Steve began to ramble. My eyes unintentionally shifted over to Wanda. She was beautiful, way out of my league. Even just for friendship.

I had a crush on her for about as long as I could remember. No one knew about it, thankfully. I'm sure Natasha had her suspicions, but she never brought it up. Besides, Wanda had a boyfriend, his name was Jarvis, but everyone called him Vision. Football players and their weird nicknames, right.

He made her happier than she already was, which made him alright in my book.

The bell rang, signaling the end of the free period. I reluctantly let Steve drag me to put the next class together. He was still talking a mile a minute, trying to figure out what he was bringing to the Maximoff's.

When school was over, I went home and threw some clothes in a bag. Natasha ended up coming by early, and we hung out for a bit.

" So, I saw you blushing early today."

" I don't know what you're talking about," I brushed her off easily.

Natasha smirked," You know I've had my suspicions, but I think that I've found concrete evidence."

" Evidence of what exactly?"

Her eyes twinkled with mischief as they met mine," You like Wanda."

" Of course I do. In the same way, I like you or Steve or any of our friends."

Natasha shakes her head," You know that's not what I meant."

Before she could go any further, both of our phones went off. It was a message to the group chat, but without Wanda.

Pietro had texted an S.O.S for everyone to come early. He didn't explain himself, which made me worry.

Natasha and I left as soon as we got the text. The red head was speeding, but I didn't care. I just wanted to know what was going on. The faster we got there, the sooner we'd know.

It seemed like we were the last to arrive, as our friends' cars were parked in the driveway.

When we finally entered the house, the men were on edge. They looked relieved to see us walk in the door.

" What's going on?" Natasha spoke first.

They all moved out of the way so that Wanda was in our view. She was not the happy ball of sunshine that she usually was. She was curled up in a ball on the couch, in a hoodie that engulfed her. I could hardly see her face.

Pietro spoke softly, but his eyes burned fiercely," Jarvis broke up with her. Over text."

I could feel my jaw clench involuntarily. Natasha sprang into action and went over to comfort the girl. Wanda looked up at Natasha, but wasn't engaging with her.

The broken-hearted girl got up from the couch. She began walking in the direction of the boys and I. I watched her curiously and felt surprise overtake me as she wrapped her arms around my waist.

My eyes shot up to look at my friends. This was new. I had no idea what to do. They looked just as wide-eyed and confused as me. Natasha was the one to signal that I hug her back.

So my arms awkwardly engulfed the girl. My hold on her was loose, but I was combatting a shock of my own.

'Take her to her room' Pietro mouthed to me and I nodded.

" Wanda, let's go to your room."

I didn't get a response from the girl. Instead, she surprised me again by wrapping her legs around my waist. I was quick to support her so that she wouldn't fall.

I looked at my friends again, but they all shooed me up the stairs. I was careful as I walked with Wanda in my arms. When we got to her room, she unattached herself from me.

I had planned on standing there awkwardly, but Wanda had a different idea. She led me to her bed and lightly pushed me until I was lying down. She climbed on top of me.

I could feel my heart beating out of my chest. Her head rested closer to my shoulder. My hand found its way into her hair. I dragged my fingers through it, more to calm myself than her.

" Wands," my voice came out as a whisper.

" I don't want to talk about it," her voice was hoarse from crying.

I chuckled a little bit," Is that why you picked me?"

She lifted her head so that her eyes pierced through mine," I picked you, because you give me the most comfort."

A blush spread across my face, I couldn't necessarily hide it with Wanda on top of me. I saw a small smile take over her features as she noticed my newly pigmented face.

" I don't think I know how to comfort anyone," I tried to avoid her gaze.

She laughs lightly," I don't think you give yourself enough credit, Y/n."

" I honestly feel like you're giving me too much."

Wanda moved to my side, I turned to face her. She began to lightly draw patterns on my hand.

" I remember the way you ran onto the field when Piet got injured during the soccer game. You were down there before the medics. You were mad that they didn't let you ride in the ambulance."

" I was scared. I'm scared now, but this is different."

" How is it different?"

I wasn't looking at her but at the ceiling,"I felt like being there was enough for him, but it doesn't seem like enough for you. I feel like I'm supposed to say something to make you feel better, but I don't know what to say."

She briefly stopped tracing patterns on my hand to hold it. My gaze dropped to her eyes," Being here is enough. You are enough, Y/n."

" You have to stop being so nice to me," my free hand went to cover my face.

This caused Wanda to let out a real laugh," I like seeing you blush, it's cute."

This only caused me to turn a deeper shade of red. " Are you ready to go back downstairs?"

" If you promise to stick by my side."

I got out of the bed and extended my hand towards her," As long as you'll have me."

She took my hand and we went downstairs together. She didn't leave my side the whole night. I don't think my friends had seen me smile so much.

I knew that she was heartbroken, but the thought that I brought her comfort made me ecstatic. I knew that I liked her, but having her this close made me realize something. I was completely in love with Wanda Maximoff.

[pip-n-chips]

The Harper pregnancy asks got my brain juices flowing so please indulge me for a hot minute.

What if PC got married down the road and it turns out that her spouse is infertile. Spouse seems blissfully unaware and PC thinks it's on her end it out so she approaches Harper for help. Who initially sees this as an opportunity to just make some more cash via pictures or videos (the way he does during his Friday visits in game) and test some new fertility drugs he's cooked up. While she's happily taking them, Harper is looking through his list of regulars to find matches who look closer to PC's spouse. Can't have the kid looking TOO different, right? And he prides himself on providing excellent service.

He starts inviting her over twice a week under the guise of treating her infertility while in reality, he's hypnotizing her and letting her get fucked by his regulars. Really, just a way to make some quick cash. He's not TOO emotionally involved in this.

But our good doctor pretty much starts salivating when PC does end up pregnant and shows up for regular check ups. He cannot stop touching her belly, maybe shows her how to knead her breasts to help with lactation later on, takes so many measurements and asks invasive questions, is just a general creep who is quickly becoming obsessed with having PC carry his kid. He's so mad at his past self, he should have been the one to knock her up, everything else be damned. He can hypnotize her still, sure, and he does so (rubbing his dick all over the curve of her belly. Making her use her growing breasts. Having her bounce on his dick later on and Harper rubs his hands all over her, he cannot get enough) but it's just not the same.

So when PC shows up again a year or two after having the first kid, looking down and miserable because her and her spouse have been trying again but it seems the treatment needs to be reapplied, Harper jumps on the opportunity. He becomes obsessed the second PC says 'We'd like to have another baby'. He acts all sympathetic and soothing and reassures her that he will look into it again, to please come back in a week. Because he wants to prepare for this properly. Meanwhile, his mind switched to the fast lane and his thoughts are racing. No way he's contacting his regulars again. This time, it'll be his child. He can potentially explain away the looks by going 'PC is an orphan, maybe the kid got their looks from PC's parents' and he is curious to see how his child's pregnancy data/stats would compare to the other one but that's when it hits him. He can give PC stronger meds. Give her additional shots. She could have twins. Maybe triplets.

Harper's hand is down his pants before he can stop himself.

He'll fuck her so well. Fill up her aching, empty womb, again and again and again. Maybe hypnotize her and make her stay after hours so he can truly indulge. Take a video of her sitting on an examination table, legs spread and gaze glassy. Harper instructing her to say things like 'I'm going to be impregnated by Doctor Harper today. I couldn't be happier' or 'Doctor, please, come inside of me.' She'd look so pretty and big and she'd have to visit him so often to make sure the pregnancy is progressing as intended. He might get to indulge himself every day. Take so many pictures. Let his hands roam, chart every inch of skin and jot down the results. Get his mouth on her breasts. He really could induce early lactation this time around, drink her creamy milk, get samples for his research.

Harper cannot fucking wait.

The next appointment PC shows up for, Harper's waiting for her with a smile and some very good news. (And maybe, just maybe, he is already planning her third pregnancy.)

holy shit, anon

Harper isn't the only one salivating anymore cuz hot damn

[captainsophiestark]

The Perfect, Fail-Proof Plan

Caroline Forbes x Reader

Masterlist - Join My Taglist!

Written for my Year of Olympians and part of a bigger challenge being run by @yearofcreation2023​! It features a ton of other awesome creators and runs all year, so go check it out!

Fandom: The Vampire Diaries

Prompt: Hephaestus; fire

Summary: Caroline and her girlfriend celebrate the last bonfire of their high school career, sending the tradition off right.

Word Count: 1,104

Category: Fluff

Putting work into an AI program without permission is illegal. You do not have my permission. Do not do it.

I smiled as I made my way through the crowd of my drunken peers, two beers in hand. Everyone had gathered for the last bonfire of our last year of high school, and every single one of us was having the time of our lives. It was only right to go all out for a tradition that had carried us through from our freshman years.

A moment later I found my girlfriend, Caroline Forbes, leaning against a tree and chatting with Elena and Matt. I grinned as I reached them, holding out one of the two beers I'd retrieved to Caroline.

"Sorry, I didn't realize I'd need two more," I said, shooting a smile in Matt and Elena's direction as I sidled up next to Caroline.

"That's okay," Elena said, waving me off. "We were just about to go make a trip ourselves."

She shot me and Caroline a meaningful look, then dragged Matt after her and back into the rest of the party. Caroline turned to me with a grin.

"So, how are you enjoying our last ever bonfire?"

I narrowed my eyes. "Last ever bonfire feels a little dramatic. Last high school bonfire, sure, but I plan to go out and drink in the woods around a fire far into my twenties."

Caroline shook her head and smacked my arm, but she was still smiling.

"You know what I meant! This is a big moment for us. The end of an era."

"As far as I'm concerned, it's just the start," I said, leaning in a little. "The start of an amazing future with you."

Caroline giggled, a smile as bright and warm as the sun shining in my direction, her eyes crinkling at the corners. My heart leapt a little in my chest.

"A future of drunk fire parties?" she asked, her voice teasing. I just grinned and leaned in further.

"Yes. Drunk fire parties and idiotic activities and just being unreasonably, ridiculously happy, together."

Caroline bit her lip and glance down before looking back at me, a slight blush on her cheeks. Or maybe it was from the cold.

"Do you want to go down and look at the falls with me?"

I beamed. "Absolutely I do."

She took my hand, and I followed after her through the woods, the noise and light of the party fading behind us as we went. I sped up to walk next to Caroline, dropping her hand and linking our arms instead. I leaned into her, and she shot me a little smile.

"You know, I used to want to get a guy down to the falls with me so badly," she said. "I had this perfect plan that just never quite worked out. I've gotta say... I'm glad I'm coming down here with you instead."

I beamed. "It almost killed me to watch you try your moves on Stefan and Matt and every other guy you had a thing for. I never thought... I don't know. If you'd told junior-year me that I would've had a chance with you, I don't think I would've believed it."

"Well, I can tell you right now that I'm much happier to be here with you than if I'd ever had success with any of those guys."

I stopped as we finally reached the falls, an immovable smile plastered on my face. My heart hammered in my chest. I'd been in love with Caroline since the seventh grade, and the fact that we'd been happily dating for the past few months still didn't totally feel real to me.

"What?" she asked, giggling a little as she noticed my stare. I let out a long, happy breath.

"Nothing. Just... happy. Happy to be here with you."

"Me too," she said, moving a little bit closer to me. I mirrored her movements until we were close enough for me to put my arms around her waist, pulling her into me. She smiled, lazily draping her arms around my neck, then leaned in and kissed me.

No matter how many times I got to kiss my girlfriend, I don't think the magical, sparkly feeling in my chest I always got would ever fade. The water of the falls crashed onto the rocks next to us, creating a natural ambiance as I deepened the kiss. I reached up to cup Caroline's cheek as she tangled a hand in my hair, and when we finally pulled apart, I couldn't keep a smile off my face.

"I love you, Care," I said. She blushed, but smiled right back.

"I love you too."

I leaned back in and gave her another soft kiss, then finally pulled away with a sigh.

"We should probably get back," I said. "It is our last bonfire, after all."

"Last bonfire might be a little dramatic," Caroline parroted in a bad imitation of my own voice. She made a face and put her hands on her hips, and I tried and failed to hold back a laugh. "Last bonfire of high school, I guess, but-"

"Alright, alright, your impression of me is truly unmatched," I said, holding out a hand to Caroline. She took it, lacing our fingers together, and I swung our hands back and forth as we headed through the woods together. "So tell me, my favorite person on planet earth: what would make our last high school bonfire the best one for you? What would give it a worthy sendoff and celebration for the end of this four year era?"

Caroline pulled me to a stop in the trees just beyond the firelight, the sounds of the party beckoning to us from a little ways away. She turned me to face her, smiling at me as she took my other hand.

"This has already been the perfect night, because I got to spend it with you."

"Aw," I said, leaning in to give Caroline one more quick peck before we headed the rest of the way into the bonfire clearing. "Is it also because your 'do you want to go to the falls with me' master plan finally worked?"

"Maybe. Although, since I was clearly meant to go down there with you at the perfect moment on our last bonfire night... I think it's fair to say my fail-proof plan never actually failed at all. I just wasn't meant to go down there with any of the boys."

I laughed, enjoying the lightness in my heart with the warmth of the fire in front of me and the warmth of Caroline's smile beside me. Maybe she had a point.

"Yeah, Caroline. I think I'd agree that your plan ended up working perfectly."

****************

Everything Taglist: @rosecentury

The Vampire Diaries/The Originals Taglist: @elenavampire21

[horizon-verizon]

I'll spend the next month and a half fearing that they will take away the overwhelming number of houses that supported her from Rhaenyra and give them to Aegon the same way they made the entire smellfolk of Kl will support him in that play and during the coronation 🫤

I feel deeply exhausted every time I think about it because instead of seeming like they want to emphasize that Rhaenyra has an uphill struggle as if viewers are stupid They seem to genuinely mean that Rhaenyra had 0 hope of ever ruling and she and anyone who thinks otherwise is delusional.

We get multiple instances of Rhaenyra being helpless and needing a man to save her, of Rhaenyra being overlooked, of Rhaenyra being disowned, and of Rhaenyra being humiliated.Where are the scenes of Rhaenyra being supported? Of Rhaenyra taking control? She is supported only when she is passive (Rhaenys) and when she takes control and acts according to her privilege she is branded a girl-boss and spoiled entitled brat.

Rhaenyra was loved and had institutional and popular support but they have been unable to show it. But of course we had time for Aegon, magnanimous king of the people 🙃☠️

I know it's misogyny and I know I shouldn't expect anything from this show, but I still fear that they will make it worse

I think that it doesn't help that we see her not having her female friendships or female supporters/Rhaenys coming in hot only until the last second, her relationship w/Harwin unexplored, and that we don't get to see her actually rule the island and people around Dragonstone, too. With Aegon, no one in that scene of the 1st episode really liked him or even understood him...bc he's been in the castle all his life doing fuck shit else but philandering and drinking. They don't know him as a ruler, we were seeing a first impression meeting--Aegon trying to familiarize and establish some sort of relationship with the general common folk.

It's also partly bc HotD writers/many people in society believe that in order for any victim to be truly supported they have to be sympathized with and they have to be sympathized with by them being in really dire straight. The "extreme" must become the "normal" before one recognizes that the victim is the victim or has some conditions set against them, long term or short term phenonmena that build into the "last" obstacles against them as the greens/Hightowers built under Viserys' political careless neglect.

People need to realize that even if Rhaenyra is shown to be happy most of her adult life time--happier and more in control or practicing her authority at Dragonstone--she would still be a victim of smaller sexist or abusive behaviors from her stepmother, some from Daemon, selfish neglect from her father, usurpation on account of her gender (discrimination), the mobilized patriarchal violence afterwards, then femicide. These all do happen....AND IN SPITE OF (not "because of" or "totally free of") all that. Then there is the fact that she was called "Realm's Delight" since young childhood and only under the context of fear, hunger, displacement, and exacerbated poverty during a war the greens started (yes, I do also place a tiny bit of blame on her for listening to Celtigar without exploring other options but not much AND maybe its bc I'm just stupid or GRRM made it way too easy for her to fail but I genuinely don't know what we'd/I'd do in that situation?) that the smallfolk truly started to turn against her.

These are the elements that define the tragedy of the death of not only her but the chance of female-rule precedent/female rule/matrilocality-esque [a married couple resides with or near the wife's parents]/matrifocality [mothers head families and fathers play a less important role in the home and in bringing up children]/rise of the value of matrilineal legitimacy.

[burst-of-iridescent]

atla live action thoughts: episode 6

SPOILERS AHEAD

tw: opinions

things i liked:

love the moment where roku tells aang friends can be a liability and you can see in his face that he's thinking of sozin

koh lore is interesting. funnily enough i've also written koh being the son of the mother of faces in a fic before so i see netflix has been hitting up ao3

(for legal reasons, that was a joke)

i like zhao forcing zuko to turn aang over more than him capturing aang with the yuyan archers himself like in the original. this 100% feels like something animated zhao would do and it really drives home how much of a disadvantage zuko's at. this is the dynamic i wanted to see between the two of them

lmao @ zhao wanting to get every detail of his capture of the avatar in writing, and aang blowing air at him to send him falling over himself. they pulled that right from the original and it's great

BLUE SPIRIT TIME BABY

this fight (well the parts of it that i can see) is SO GOOD. pretty sure it's almost a shot for shot remake of the original and zuko and aang are working together seamlessly

oh i fucking LOVE that zuko and aang are trapped together and get to talk. zuko smiling despite himself... aang trying so earnestly to get through to him... the way zuko actually seems to be listening to him before he hears the word compassion... chef's kiss this was an INSPIRED change

"do you think we could've been friends too?"

the transitions from younger, happier zuko to older, traumatized zuko are fucking painful. the one where he looks into the mirror to see his unscarred, smiling self for just a moment before it flashes to his present reality... next time just shoot me netflix

"he will recover" "but he will never heal"

young zuko lying in bed sobbing as he's banished by his own father what if i killed myself

HIS CREW BEING THE 41st DIVISION HE LOST EVERYTHING TO PROTECT whichever writer suggested that needs a raise posthaste

"our prince" who is cutting all of these fucking onions

things i disliked/am conflicted about:

this is where the show suffers as an adaptation, because if the animation didn't exist, the agni kai would've been fine. zuko trying to dodge, having the chance to hurt ozai yet actively choosing not to out of love, being beaten up, pinned down and brutally burned as he whimpers in fear - all of that works on its own. it conveys zuko's compassion and ozai's brutality just fine, but not to the level that the cartoon does. the scene is brutal in both versions but animated zuko not even trying to fight, sobbing and begging on his knees, and being maimed anyway just hits harder than the netflix version

not sure if i saw it right but it seemed as though there were tears in ozai and azula's eyes??? i can maybe see it for this version of azula but in no world would ozai be crying over burning zuko. it feels like they're trying to make this version of ozai more complex but he was FINE as a classic villain

that being said, i do like ozai holding zuko's hand to his heart as he burns him. the symbolism of zuko trying to reach for his father's love while ozai permanently brands his cruelty on his son... ate

i don't even like roku in the animation all that much but his presence has been weirdly reduced in the show, even though he's the avatar aang is closest to. aang having to take on the burden of redeeming roku's failure is a significant part of their dynamic and i want more of that

hollywood i'm begging you to shoot night scenes that people can see because parts of the blue spirit and aang fight sequence were so dark i looked like the squinting lady meme

i really wish we'd still gotten the moment in the storm where zuko saved the helmsman. i know they kinda replaced it with the crew realizing they were only alive because of zuko's sacrifice, but they could've done both to show how much zuko still cares, even if he can't show it

how are we 3/4th of the way into the season and aang is STILL ONLY BENDING AIR

overall rating: 9/10. definitely the best of the series so far and i love how they expanded on zuko's backstory and his relationship to aang

[songbird-sunrise]

OOC: In light of Thes and Fiona announcing casinoroyale's hiatus, I just wanna take a moment and thank them both for helping us create this wonderful story. I've never met people more dedicated, caring, and talented. Some more rambling under the cut

To give you all a peek behind the curtain, without casinoroyale, I think we would've abandoned this blog. Given our circumstances, it was near impossible to find an opportunity to really give it our all in terms of writing. We didn't have a partner to bounce off of, and there was a brief time where I considered deactivating. But, in a sort of desperate decision, I asked Thes to be our Quackity, and thus kicked off a long, winding story that takes us to today

I never thought that bedrock!tnt would get this far. We didn't even think they'd be ROMANTIC at first. We were just having fun, seeing where it all took us, and I couldn't be happier with where we ended up. It's overwhelming how much people latched on to this silly thing we were doing together

To the people that read along, liveblogged threads, made art, etc.: thank you. You guys made this better than we could've ever imagined

And we'd like to thank Thes/Fiona for sticking along for this ride as long as they have. We couldn't have done any of this without them. You should follow them at @cquackity, by the way. They just posted a really good exile fic, and there's gonna be more amazing writing on the way. They're astonishingly cool, and awesome, and talented, and...yeah. Don't tell 'em I said that lol

As for us? I'm not sure. Maybe we'll keep posting on here occasionally, but. You know. A lot of the admins have been taking steps back, so I can't forsee us doing much. But, I can forsee some collaborative writing with Thes/Fiona in the future ;3. Don't count bedrock!tnt as over just yet. We did still have a lot of plans, after all

I think that's everything we wanted to say. Just...thank you all, again. The past two years of my life have been...a lot, for sure, but this all has been one of the highlights without a doubt <3

[yandere-wishes]

With who would you ship yourself in MHA? 👀

@yandere-romanticaa

Omg, it's been a hot minute since I dabbled in MHA… But let me crack open the vault real quick.

So first off, and this should be obvious…

Dabi! The reason I started the show in the first place!! This boy's Frankenstein aesthetic had me swooning from the moment I saw a GIF of him!! And unconventional colored flames that probably symbolize a deep-seated trauma!! YES!! I honestly think we would make a good couple, kinda like Frankenstein and his bride (in a romanticized way), we'd have the Goth BF x Lolita GF vibes which are a bonus. I also get the inkling we'd share the same taste in music (Chase Atlantic, Neighborhood, Mr.Kitty)

Shigaraki is next and tbh I don't really know when I feel for him. Just that at one point he was all I could think about. I think it's something about his twisted legacy and conflicting nature that has rendered him into a decaying amalgamation of hate and misplaced ambitions, that really gets a girl's heart beating out of her chest, you know? He was always like an odd species that I came across in the backyard one day and had to analyze under a microscope. Desperate to learn his fundamentals, to unravel his soul. Understand him in the same way an archaeologist longs to understand the past.

I think our love is something like that of an obsessive scientist and her new discovery. Chaotic and all-consuming yet so frail and feeble to onlookers. A tame fire that leaves one utterly devoured, yet still longing for more. I think we'd be pretty good for each other.

NINE! He appeared in one movie and I was SO obsessed with him!! I had a countdown for when his movie would release. I remember for my 16th birthday we went to the fancy movie theater in town just to watch this guy on the big screen. And then all my friends burst out laughing when he died at the end. Ultimately my 2 month long craze over him died in that dark movie theater. TBH I don't really think we'd make a good couple, maybe just a casual fling or some hookups when life gets tough/boring. Nothing serious yet still a fundamental part of each other's lives.

Finally, we have Bakugo, the love-hate relationship I had with this guy was crazy. I was so madly in love with him one minute and the other I just wanted to suffocate him!! IDK what it was he was just so irritating and lovable at the same time. Another relationship that wouldn't work out. I don't even think he'd notice me in school and I'd just be in the corner secretly hating him because he has the perfect life. Popular, lots of friends, good grades. Even if we were in UA together I still don't think we'd end up together. Maybe a slight nod of acknowledgment in the halls one time when he's in a particularly good mood. But that's about it.

Now that I'm revisiting my tween crushes, I got a fun little au for Bakugo.

Imagine being Pro-Hero Bakugo's mistress. Just his girl on the side. For whatever reason you can't be together in public, you'd ruin each other's images. I think the reader kinda wants to ruin Bakugo's life just because she hated him in middle/high school. But Bakugo becomes too infatuated with her to let her leave him. Somehow they both end up destroying each other's lives. Yet ultimately Bakougou couldn't be happier.

This was such a long awnser🤣🤣

[hongtiddiez]

who are your top 5 female characters in bl this year?

ask me my top 5 bl anything 🌸

ohhh this is a good one for SURE.

i'm so in love with porjai. she's so beautiful and smart and emotionally intelligent and-- i would die for her. and her in comfy shorts and faded band t-shirts? kill me because i will never recover from this.

choi yu na could do anything to me and i'd thank her. the level of sass she served was incredible and i just know we'd be best friends and be absolute haters together with the most correct opinions about everything.

rapidly realizing i have a Type. oh i've discovered something about myself today. i like my women to have attitude, i like them to be artsy and emotionally intelligent. also they're all so fucking beautiful and have the dumbest best friends.

pearmai was fucking amazing. i was so glad she wasn't just the girl the MC chased after and nothing more and i'm glad we got to see her grow and heal and end up happier than she was before without having to be paired off into a relationship. she was such a delightful surprise.

between us was the first bl i watched and i was immediately in love with manow. manow is the type of person you run into in the bathroom of a busy bar and maybe you flirt with each other a little in the bathroom (this has definitely never happened to me - i miss you beautiful bar bathroom girl that grabbed my ass, i still think of you fondly) it also makes me laugh that she's supposed to be written as this 'not as pretty as other girls' character but meanwhile her smile, personality, etc. lights up a fuckin room.