#i usually don’t write death stuff ngl

[cinnamontoastcrunch-15]

Today’s @wolfstarmicrofic prompt is graceful and it’s my apology for disappearing… but sad.

As Remus’ hands were bound, tightly and painfully, behind his back, a wand pressed to his neck, laughs ringing in that gleefully malicious way that only the Deatheaters could really create, Remus couldn’t help but think about Sirius.

The way he walked into the kitchen that morning, kissing Remus absentmindedly, all graceful and perfect even as he almost dropped the full, boiled kettle in his tired haze. His calm words.

“See you later, darling.”

The complete trust that Remus would be back, would keep himself safe, because how couldn’t he? They weren’t meant to be this. They existed outside the war, the pain, the mourning, everything. Remus was meant to go back.

He shut his eyes and willed everything in him for Sirius to hear him.

I’m so sorry, love. I meant to come back, I truly did. I love you, I love you, I love-

(146 words.)

[circadiananomaly]

Okay; in commemoration of my blog getting a makeover, I’ll introduce myself!

Hi; Call me Circa/Cicada/Circuit! I go by Any Pronouns; my gender is a Royal Court, and everyone is a Jester in it.

Here is my current blog lineup!

Main Blog: @/circadiananomaly [This place is mainly for reblogging art stuff now! Sewing, writing, digital, you name it!]

Art Blog: @doodlecircuitredrawn [Self explanatory; all my art will be there!]

Reblogging Blog: @releeblogreborn [Reblogging CHAOS! Total randomness! Woo!]

Huge Update as of 7/31/23! See under Read More.

Anyway, here’s some fun facts about me!

I am very partial to Nintendo! (Although I haven’t had much access to consoles throughout my life, lol)

I am in so many fandoms. So many. Video games mostly. I’ll list them off later.

Why the reborn part in my alt blog? I goofed while trying to delete a blog I didn’t use and somehow deleted the original one. Sigh.

I drew my profile pic. It’s brand spanking new, and it took a little over an hour to draw. The banner is just some photo I took a few years ago.

My old username was @/sleepysnappl

I can speak and read English pretty much fluently. I’m currently trying to learn Spanish (I likely won’t be able to accurately respond though.) Perdón; Yo no hablo o veo Español muy bueno.

I have not had a Personal Computer (as in all for me, no sharing, not for work or whatever,) in almost 6 years now. I mostly main my phone and iPad, lol.

I don’t trust Apple at all, my iPad is kinda old for a piece of tech, and from before I knew of their untrustworthiness. It just happened to last this long, lol.

I follow like thousands of blogs, holy crap

Lovecore is one of my favorite aesthetics, the hearts and color scheme are so cute! ^-^

My typing quirks generally include “reversing” emojis and using bracket smiles instead of the usual parentheses smile. Like this! [:>

And that’s about it for fun facts about me (for now!) Here’s all the fandoms I like as I remember (under Read More).

In Stars and Time (NEWEST! The game talks about many heavy issues, so please be careful!)

Super Mario (Update, I have now seen the movie!)

Miitopia & Tomodachi Life (Where’s Tomodachi Life 2, Nintendo? Huh? HUH? /playful)

Pokemon (Mostly play the games at this point. Haven’t seen one of their animes in a while)

Cookie Run (Haven’t been playing recently)

Pizza Tower (Newest fandom currently)

Undertale & Deltarune (I’ve kinda taken my distance cuz of the weirdos at this point)

Friday Night Funkin’ (One of the newer fandoms currently)

Object Shows (BFDI, II, etc.)

Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (I don’t know much about this fandom, though! ^-^”)

Welcome Home (an ARG Horror Game by @/partycoffin!)

Minecraft (I’ve been playing since the mid-to-late 2010’s, do with that info what you will)

Kirby (Nintendo)

Stick man fighting (See Hyun’s Dojo. Don’t know much abt this fandom either ^-^”)

Animator vs Animation & Animations vs Minecraft by Alan Becker (check his YT, he does awesome work!)

Steven Universe (I haven’t seen the movie yet, no spoilers please)

Celeste by Maddy Makes Games and Extremely OK Games Ltd. (Impeccable story, do be careful as the DLC talks about death, though.)

My Little Pony (Friendship is Magic is pretty much their current peak, you cannot change my mind.)

Madness Combat (I don’t know much about their lore, but this fandom vibes, ngl.)

Doom the game (I've only seen Eternal gameplay, soo,,,, ^_^")

That’s all I can remember for now!

Damn, I can’t believe I reached max tags with the fandoms alone! I’ll consider that an achievement! I may even have to turn this into a reblog thread to add tags… I shall now return to lurking!

—————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

Huge Update!! I have created a new Art Blog! The username is @doodlecircuitredrawn! This blog is now to be repurposed for art reblogs! See my reblogging blog, @releeblogreborn for more general randomness and chaos. ^_^

See ya’ll!

- Circa [:

[koheletgirl]

i was tagged by @planteria​ ty!! <3

S: fav tropes, actively seek out, will almost always read unless done too horribly (bad writing/characterization)

A: love it but won't always read/look for. really just side stuff thrown into what i usually love. if it's not written that well, i probably won't read either

B: generally enjoy if thrown in but not important, don't look for and don't read too often, but if i see it i might check it out if it sounds good enough

C: not a fan, but if it's in a fic that looks good, it won't turn me away too fast

D: if this is in a fic, i guarantee i'm not reading it. even if it has some S tier tropes of mine

id and explanations under the cut!

tagging @quenchiestzukka @zukkaoru @zukkas @that-was-anticlimactic and @dykevirgo

[image id: S tier tropes: angst, canon divergence, enemies to lovers, friends to lovers, humor, in vino veritas (drunken confession), first kiss, mis-communication, mutual pining, slow burn / A tier tropes: sharing a bed, coffee shop au, fake relationship, fluff, hurt comfort, huddle for warmth, pwp, time loop, crack fic, amnesia fic / B tier tropes: established relationship, fix it fic, gen fic, high school au, magic au, missing scenes, college au / C tier tropes: unrequited love, unhappy ending, arranged marriage, soulmate au, baby fic, body swap, major character death, historical au, love triangle, fairytale au, pregnancy fic, royalty au / D tier tropes: ABO, bang or die, dark fic, cross-over, sex pollen. / end id]

alright so the thing is. i’m a sucker for getting together fics. which is why i dont love established relationships, i just need to see all the action as it happens. i have both angst and humor listed under S tier because when either of them is done right i literally cant get enough. but also bc i need fics for different moods. crack fics are very hard to get right, but when they are good they are Great imo. and like sometimes i just need to see my silly blorbos in silly situations. coffee shop au is A tier and ngl that’s probably because i read A Lot of zukka. and tbh i havent read a time loop fic but if you know one pls tell me! the concept is just so appealing. pwp is there bc i like it better when there’s a plot but yk. sometimes you gotta. amnesia fic is listed there bc im a dramatic bitch and also like. well. theres this one amnesia fic that changed my life idk if youve heard of it

so i dont love high school aus bc i guess im just not that interested in high schooler’s lives anymore lmao. college aus are fine but theyre not my favorite, also they stress me out bc they remind me of. college. missing scenes and fix its are not listed higher bc i feel like you need to be Really Good to get them right and most of the times there are no missing scenes and the thing doesnt need to be fixed.

my c tiers include tropes that i highly highly dislike, but they don’t make me cringe or actively repulse me lol. either that or i just dont read them because theyre sad and im weak.

ty jen this has been so much fun!! <3

[galacticlamps]

I was tagged by @terryfphanatics​ (thanks! sorry I took forever - I started answering these & didn’t finish and just remembered it was in my drafts)

What book are you currently reading?

The Two Towers! which upsets me bc I’ve been at it since August (technically - I wasn’t ‘at it’ in, uh, October, November, December, January, or February, for lack of time - but I’m back at it now, and I even convinced myself to start over from the beginning so I didn’t forget anything)

What's your favourite movie you saw in a cinema this year?

sorry but the last time I went to a movie theater was probably in 2017, 2018 at the latest, so... yeah I’ve got nothing

What do you usually wear?

jeans, boots, at this point in the winter usually some combination of flannels, sweaters and/or sweatshirts. (I’ve been really cold lately)

How tall are you?

5′6″ ish

What's your star sign?

capricorn

Do you share your birthday with a celebrity or historical event?

I do, yeah

Do you go by your name or a nickname?

mostly nicknames, I have quite a few at this point. I’ve yet to pick one to use on here, I should probably do that soon, I’ve been meaning to for years now

Did you grow up to be what you wanted to be as a child?

I don’t recall ever wanting to be anything in particular as a child, honestly, but I can say that so far I’ve pretty much stuck to the career path that first caught my interest in high school, if that counts

Are you in a relationship? Who is your crush if not?

nope! and it’s been a very long time since I’ve had a serious crush either, which I’m honestly grateful for. I wouldn’t want to be in a relationship at this exact point in my life anyway, so I’m just gonna keep vaguely admiring every funny girl who’s kind to me for the time being without actually developing feelings for her. I hope It seems to be going well so far mostly

What's something you're good at versus something you're bad at?

(I’m trying to think of two that relate to each other)

I am very good at drawing objects and not at all good at drawing people! technical plans are something I’ve dealt with extensively both academically & professionally, but in the more general sense I’ve always been an ‘I can’t draw’ person. tbh I should find some of those artists who complain about backgrounds and just do all their architecture etc for them

Dogs or cats?

nothing against dogs but cats for sure, always cats

What's something you'd like to create content for?

not to sound like a jerk, but I work in the arts industry & really hate the place ‘content creation’ has come to occupy in everyone’s vocabulary, even though I totally realize that in a context like this it’s probably just trying to be a vague enough term to be inclusive of the many different things people can create. I like writing the fanfic that I do, so without switching subjects, I would like to get better at drawing people because sometimes I have ideas that would be better expressed as images or even short comics

What's something you're currently obsessed with?

Obsessing over 60s who is my baseline so I don’t think that counts - but it’s been almost a month since I watched Holding Achilles & there have only been hours when I didn’t think of it, not entire days

What's something you were excited about that turned out to be disappointing this year?

Ngl, (& not to be a total downer, but) the last 12 months-ish have been an extremely busy/hectic/unpredictable year for me, with both the good & the bad stuff coming out of left field most of the time. So while there were certainly more than enough disappointments, for the most part, they weren’t the kinds of things you could be excited about beforehand (relatives dying, people fighting, strained relationships, illnesses, work stuff in a perpetual state of flux - or as I’ve taken to calling it: death disease & dubious employment). I suppose there were a lot of events I wanted to make it to that I didn’t, due to the aforementioned junk, and I certainly imagined myself getting to read more books & write more fics than I did, but that doesn’t feel like a good specific answer.

What's a hidden talent of yours?

I suppose that depends who you ask? There are lots of work or work-adjacent skills I could name that would be news to people on here, but those are such prominent parts of my life otherwise that they definitely don’t feel ‘hidden.’ But I guess even among people who expect me to be handy/crafty, more overtly artistic things tend to surprise them - like I’ve had people forget that I was the one who painted something, for instance, because that’s not the kind of skill most associate with me. (and I am very good with color & pigment tbh)

Are you religious?

nah. I’m not like, a committed atheist or anything either, I just grew up catholic & don’t go in for that anymore, nor do I have any desire to go seek out another faith

What's something you wish to have at this moment?

time uh, let’s say a haircut

tagging people kinda seems rude after taking multiple months to come up with so many kind of non-answers oops, but if anyone would like to copy the questions, either as an opportunity to do a little q&a or an excuse to tag/ask your friends, be my guest

[not-orphaned-account]

Hey!!! For the 2022 fic asks: 🤩 😮 😍 (no need to do all of them!)

Happy New Year 🎉🎉🎉

Hello! It's several weeks later don't mind me I know the answers don’t really require explanations, but I put them in anyway so answers under the cut to keep space lksadjf

🤩 What's your favourite fic you posted?

So I'm gonna choose two, since I have different relationships with each fandom I write for:

DSMP: Seaside Gladiolus I’m having so much fun with the style of this, and it has a more fantasy vibe that I don’t usually write, so it’s quite different from my other fics. It also means a lot to me, because it’s probably the realest I’ve ever gotten with a fic. I’ve put a lot of my own thoughts and experiences into it, and seeing other people relate to or just enjoy reading it feels like it’s worth it, y’know? I can’t wait for what comes in the next chapters!!

Death Note: Frostbitten This fic is super fun to write because it’s a lot lighter than my usual stuff, more humour-oriented and not as serious subject matter. It’s also allowed me to go back to something I had negative associations with (figure skating) and remember what I love about it! I’ve actually started skating again just because of writing it slkfjsdlkfj

😮 What surprised you this year? Was it reception to a certain fic? A direction change in one of your stories? 

The engagement on Springsteen honestly took me by surprise, ngl. Like, I wrote it for people who have had the same sorts of experiences growing up, but I guess I hadn’t expected it to go as far as it did? And reading some of the comments and stuff from people who could relate really meant so much to me, and it made me feel less alone.

😍  What's one of your favorite lines or exchanges you wrote this year?

I know it says one, but I have a couple dlkfjsdfl

“Morning, sunshine,” he teased. “Fuck off,” Mello replied cheerfully. (Safe From The World)

Matt didn’t think he was ever going to get tired of seeing Mello like this. He was leaning out the window of Matt’s car, laughing into the wind as it ruffled his hair and whipped it back. The sun setting over the ocean bathed him in golden light, and if Matt were a religious man, he’d swear he was looking at an angel. (Safe From The World)

“What can a mortal do to take the pain from a god? Dream, this isn’t your burden to bear.” (Seaside Gladiolus)

Thank you for the asks! Sorry for the long-winded answers ^^’

[appreciatingtokrev]

i suppose it is normal then and the duration must be a factor too regarding the sadness. have you seen the film called loving vincent then? it's an biography of his life and it's animated in paint to reflect his art style.

i think it's mainly ios users that play it on their phones? but again, still need load of memory. does your laptop heat up when you play for a long time? my phone did despite being an iphone. i know nothing about hi3rd, i really thought GI was their first game lol. as students, we all have those moments lol.

i hope you get your meds soon then because that will probably help a lot, which style of studying do you prefer? where i live only marine biology is rare and that's a huge con :( but the sea sick might change over time. medicine is 5 years here, how long will it be for you? i dk what forensic medicine entails lmao. i'm sure you will be able to figure it out then.

i know stray kids belong to JYP and that's about it and that's cool but her playlist is probably longer lol.

oh, they are silver, my bad there is too many characters in TR that wear earrings ;-; what do you think of silver as a colour? apart from fanfic/cosplay, have you ever tried making anime edits? i started making youtube anime shorts yesterday and i like it where i do upload them online.

the power of self belief is everything! good luck but i think the quality of the wig probably make a difference? so might need to research beforehand so you can pick a good base.

yes, six months left to the big reveal ^^ no worries and oversided hoodies are cool.

oh, loving vincent! i’ve heard of it, but haven’t watched it (yet?), no. it kinda sounds like something i’d enjoy though.

personally i only know three people who play genshin on their phone, but two of them are samsung users lol. my old laptop would heat up like crazy (i mean... it’s like 8 or 9 years old at this point) but with my current laptop i hardly have any issues regarding that. that said i’ve still got to play on low graphics settings because it just lags a ton otherwise, but i hardly mind that. (tho i haven’t been able to play genshin in weeks bc it keeps crashing for some reason :( i’m waiting it out & hoping an update of my laptop will fix it but who knows. i might get a ps5 for christmas though so i’ll at least be able to play it on there ig? and maybe sooner on a phone bc i definitely need a new one even sooner.)

ah, my meds. i’ve got a prescription now, but they’re out of sale until at the very least january :') i really like studying with classmates/friends bc i hardly have the motivation to study alone tbh but if there’s at least someone else i do. i’ve p much got a study bestie tho and for most subjects we study together :D

well where i live i’m pretty sure you can’t study marine biology since there is no ocean lmao. so i might just study biology & then move somewhere for the specifics? idk. but i’ve got lots of time to figure it out still lol yep, hopefully it’ll get better,, medicine is 5 years here too! forensic medicine is p much examining dead (human) bodies, either bc they died in the hospital/in an accident (so for science) or because they died an unnatural death (criminology). tho the forensic medicine field entails more than just forensic pathology (doing autopsies), e.g. you could be working at a lab doing dna testing.

ngl i hardly know anything abt the few kpop bands i listen to, i just enjoy their music lol. but yeah i’m sure she knows more.

no no i get it, there truly are a lot,, i like silver as a color, especially in jewlery! tbh i prefer it over gold in most contexts.

ohh edits,, no, i haven’t done anything apart from cosplay attempts, making merch, writing fic & doing art for fandom so far lol. i don’t use tiktok & hardly use youtube for fandom stuff though (i usually listen to asmr or hour long explanation vids on yt, not much more adhkgdfjf) but if i do come across edits somehow, i’m always excited :D imo they’re very fun, but i don’t have the right apps or space on my phone for them to make any.

very true! yep, i’ll definitely do some research to try and find a rather cheap but still rather good quality wig,, bc it very much does make a difference.

only four more months.. 👀

[domjaehyun]

hi jewel!! how was your week??

i’m a bit sad because of the news about hc and he won’t be at my concert but i feel very lucky that we got to see him in newark!! i’m just gonna reread tangerine love again and be happy that he’s resting!! i just have to say again that it’s so well written and honestly quite different from what you usually write! your writing style is just so wonderful i don’t think i’ll ever get enough of it 🥹 like, how do you keep your style but come up with such new and different/interesting ideas?? it just always feels so refreshing to read your stuff, thank you!!

hiii my week was okay!! and :((( yeah i was really sad earlier ngl i just hope he’s okay and gets all the rest he wants and needs :( AND OMG ??? it’s different :O HOW if u wanna elaborate but only if you wanna :’) that made me smile v wide ngl im cheesing rn !!!! and omg STOP THIS IS SUCH A LOVELY THING TO SAY I LOVE THIS i worry that i do a lot of the same thing/aus/tropes and that im doing them like to death or whatever BUT THIS MAKES ME SMILE FR :’) THANK YOU FOR THIS COMPLIMENT I WILL CHERISH IT !!!

[versadies]

mondstadt characters general hc

characters: kaeya, diluc, jean, lisa, and albedo

sypnosis: what they would be like in a relationship

warning/s: angst (for albedo), spoilers for jean’s story quest and archon quest

penpal: forgive me if the characters (specifically albedo) are being ooc 🥲 i also made sure the reader here is gender neutral so i hope you enjoy this headcanon! p.s.: you have a specified role in some of the headcannons below (such as lisa’s, jean’s, and albedo’s)

Ngl I see Kaeya as a playboy or a person who always flirts with other people.

However

After developing feelings for you, I think he would def stop flirting anyone that isn’t you and would start throwing every single of his best flirts to you.

Since he’s the famous Calvary Captain, he’ll definitely try to keep you two’s relationship a secret.

But of course, the truth always comes out.

I think everyone in Mondstadt will find out not from you or Kaeya— but from someone who caught you two together and started spreading about it.

When everyone found out, it’s both a bad and good thing for the two of you.

For Kaeya, it’s a good thing because everyone knows that you’re taken and that Kaeya won’t have to be annoyed at anyone who tries to flirt with you. The bad thing is that you could be put in danger due to him being a part of the knights of favonius.

For you, it’s a good thing because you two get to spend time openly unlike before. The bad thing is that people will probably make fake negative rumors about you.

Either way, it didn’t stop you and Kaeya from loving one another.

As for dates,

Kaeya seems the type of person who would go for something classy— such as a dinner in a fancy restaurant or a picnic + beautiful view of Mondstatd. Any date with Kaeya is always full of surprises.

As the Calvary Captain, I think he won’t be able to spend a lot of time with you because of it.

He’ll mostly go out on missions or be in his office doing paperwork.

Arugments with Kaeya don’t happen a lot nor argue a lot. The main reason the two of you would fight is because of how he isn’t very open much.

Obv you’ll be the first to apologize— unless he said something very offensive, then Kaeya would be the first to apologize.

Kaeya doesn’t open up a lot and you understand. Though it feels strange for you that he knows so many things about you while you know absolutely nothing of him other than what he likes.

After your work, you’d usually visit the Knights of Favonius’ headquarters for Kaeya. Depending on the time of the day, you would bring food with you so that he could eat.

Kaeya would be like “🥺🥺🥺” whenever you give him the food you cooked- he’s very soft when it comes to domestic stuff.

Despite being very busy during the day, the two of you always have time at night unless Kaeya had to do something important.

But since the traveller came and saved Mondstadt from their demise, important paperworks are rare for Kaeya.

Mornings with Kaeya are random to say the least.

Kaeya usually wakes up first and would cook eggs and bacon for the two of you’s breakfast.

He always tries to give you morning kisses but you would prevent him to do so due to “my morning breath is a kiss of death” which earned a laugh from the Calvary Captain.

Whenever he tries to wake you up, it either ends up a cuddling session or a quick nap with you depending on how he wakes you up.

When going out on missions outside of Mondstadt, Kaeya will definitely write letters to you everyday. He’ll ask if you’ve been doing okay and if you have eaten well— it’s just wholesome 🥰🥰🥰

Before Kaeya goes out, you always give him a long cherishing kiss because you’ll never know if it’s the last time you’ll ever kiss him.

He really really misses holding your hand and cuddling with you when he’s far away but won’t admit it.

You on the other hand wouldn’t stop thinking about him whenever he’s out for his mission.

I mean, can you blame yourself? Kaeya’s missions are always dangerous and the thought of him getting killed while you’re doing your usual routine not knowing about it makes your heart ache.

And when he comes back to Mondstatd and sees you waiting by the gates, this can go two ways: he’ll either sprint to you and give you a warm hug or you rush to him and tackle him with a hug— either way, it’s a sweet and relieving moment for you two.

Of course, Kaeya wouldn’t hesitate to tease you about it.

“Aww did you miss me that much, love?”

“Shut up, I know you miss me too.”

“...Yea you’re right.”

Idk how you somehow have the darknight hero fall for you but you 👏 are 👏 one 👏 lucky 👏 lad 👏

I see Diluc as a tsundere-like guy but exclude the “nO i dOnt liKE yOu duMmy 😡” lol

Just like Kaeya, you and him kept your relationship a secret for a few reasons.

How did the public find out? Unlike Kaeya, the two of you announced it yourselves during a celebration in dawn winery.

Everyone was very happy for the both of you and considered the two of you as the “happiest couple in Mondstadt”

Whenever you two are out in public, he wouldnt be affectionate — other than a simple hug or holding hands

But when you two are somewhere without the public eye, he’s a big SOFTY

He’ll openly give you affection without hesitation.

It’s always wholesome indoors lol

Scratch that, with Diluc, it’s always wholesome BOTH indoors and outside, even when he isn’t so open outside.

As his spouse, you knew his night time duties

It’s kinda unfortunate for the both of you, given that you could not see Diluc in both day time (due to your work of choice) and night time.

But whenever you two have the chance to hang out, the both of you would make most of the time memorable. Whether it would be going out on an adventure, strolling around Mondstadt, or eating in a restaurant together— days with Diluc are days that you would never forget, and the same goes for the darknight hero.

During his “nighttime duties”, you couldn’t help but stay outside of your home waiting for your lover’s return.

It made Diluc have the urge to finish his darknight hero works and just go back to your home so that the two of you can sleep in peace.

Argue with Diluc is seldom and it only happens because of you hating the fact that there’s a chance that Diluc could die from his night time duties.

When it comes to making up, the two of you mostly apologize at the same time. It ends up with a cuddling session.

Sometimes, if you work as an adventurer, you’d go with Diluc on his darknight hero duties much to his dismay.

If the two of you came across to an Abyss Mage or hilichurls, Diluc wouldn’t hesitate on backing you away and fight them on his own.

But of course, you wouldn’t let your lover fight them on his own. After all, being a lover meant that you’d always be on his side right?

Unless you don’t have a weapon, then you might as well watch and pray he won’t get hurt.

Speaking of hurt,

When Diluc sometimes goes home with injuries, you happily nurse him back to health.

Depending on how serious his injuries are, you’d fix his schedule and made sure he won’t continue his nighttime duties until his injuries have been healed.

When you two are still awake at night, the two of you would have late night talks about anything while being in each other’s arms. It’s always peaceful when it comes to that.

Mornings with Diluc are always pleasant.

Depending on who wakes up first, the two of you would make each other’s breakfast (much to the head maid’s dismay) and get ready for the day.

As for parties in Dawn Winery that requires Diluc’s presence, he never hesitates to ask you to be with him.

He’s the type to buy you an outfit that suits you very well. It’s the one thing you can’t stop him from buying.

Yes, he spoils you very much.

Whenever it’s your birthday or an anniversary, expect a lot of (insert favorite genshin flower) being delivered to you while you’re working.

He always tries to find an excuse to buy you things knowing that you would tell him to not buy you so many things.

“Congratulations, N/N. Have some gifts,” *cue diluc giving you a flood of gifts*

“Diluc, It’s just a day off we don’t need to celebrate that—”

Being in a relationship with the Knights of Favonius’ librarian is... interesting to say the least.

The woman’s a charming, lazy, and one of the smartest people in the city of freedom. And you are the assistant of the knights of favonius’ alchemist, Albedo.

Of course, with you two being a part of knights of favonius, it gives a lot of advantages.

Such as visiting Lisa in the library during break times, going on missions together, going home together, etc.

I see Lisa as a playful woman who knows how to make your knees turn into jelly.

Whenever she visits you and Albedo’s laboratory in the headquarters, she wouldn’t hesitate in flirting with you— much to Albedo’s annoyance.

Albedo gets more annoyed if you flirt back and ends with you and Lisa flirting together but wouldn’t say anything due to you doing your work while flirting with Lisa.

What he doesn’t know is that the two of you are very much aware of Albedo being annoyed lol

Omg but like— the two of you can make potions together!!!

It’s a hobby for the both of you during your day offs, the two of you would try out different herbs and ingredients to see what you two can make.

During Stormterror’s days when the knights of favonius requires Lisa to stay in the headquarters at night to research on stormterror, you’d sneak in to the library and help her out.

When it comes to lunch time, you and Lisa would eat your lunch together in either the library or Good Hunter depending on you and Lisa’s laziness.

Some people couldn’t help but be jealous of you being able to win the Witch of the Purple Rose’s heart.

The two of you don’t really mind the fact that everyone in Mondstadt knows of your relationship since Lisa is very open in PDA. When going out, the librarian will always hold your hand or wrap her arm around yours.

When helping Lisa in retrieving books, it’s just like Lisa’s story quest. You’d always buy her jewelry or food depending on which one is the nearest.

While many people are afraid of Lisa when she’s mad or uses her electro vision, you on the other hand are very much amused.

Even when Lisa can struck the strongest lightning of all Teyvat, you’d still think that she’s cute and hot much to her embarrassment.

Depending on why she’s using her electro vision, you’d hype her up.

Lisa looking down at an Abyss Mage: “Are you asking for a death wish?”

You in the background: “WOOO THAT’S MY GIRL! LET’S GO; GO STRUCK A LIGHTNING AT ‘EM!!”

During training sessions with Razor, you would just watch Lisa and Razor nearby while examining herbs and materials for your alchemy experiment.

Sometimes you’d give food for Razor and his wolf friends before he goes back to his home much to his delight.

Mornings with Lisa are lazy but peaceful.

You’d be the first one to wake up and make breakfast. When you’re done making breakfast, you wake up Lisa — which usually ends with a quick cuddle session or dragging Lisa up much to her dismay.

Arguments with Lisa are very rare. Yes there were arguments between the two of you but it wasn’t serious. The only things you two would argue about are either related to books or potion-making.

You and Lisa’s favorite days are days when the two of you are on a break from work.

Your dates are mostly indoors or in a restaurant. The two of you would talk about almost anything really. Any topic would end up with the two of you talking for hours until the day ends.

Sometimes during those dates, Lisa would talk about the dendro nation, Sumeru while you, in return, talk about Dragonspine.

Being Albedo’s assistant means you going to Dragonspine.

Whenever you leave from the headquarters to go to Dragonspine, Lisa would pout.

“I’ll feel lonely, darling.”

“Lisa, I’ll go back in two hours, it’s not like I’ll be gone for years—”

“C’mon it’s always boring here without you.. okay, okay, I’ll stop pestering about this. Now give your lover a goodbye kiss, will you darling?”

When you are required to go to Dragonspine and have to stay there for a day or more, expect Lisa to drag herself to the cold place just to see you.

“N/N, darling! I was wondering if you’d know where my favorite stockinhs are?”

“Sweet Barbatos, Lisa what are you doing here?!”

Being in a relationship with Jean is busy.

That’s one way I would describe Jean if not self-righteous and responsible.

If it weren’t for you being her secretary, your relationship with her would’ve felt.. distant.

When it comes to Jean doing people’s request, you’d take over her office while she’s out— dealing with people who came to the headquarters to discuss matters regarding about Mondstadt’s safety.

When Jean has to go on missions, you’d also join her unless the mission takes at least 2 more days.

If it only takes a day, you two get to adventure around the nation and fight against enemies side by side.

However when it’s 2 days or so, you have to stay behind and perform her duties while she’s away.

Like Kaeya, you would write letters to her about your day and how Mondstadt is, to which Jean would reply back hours later.

When she comes back, you’d help her bring her things to her office and the moment you two are inside her office, it ends up with you tackling her with a hug and lots of kisses.

It’s very wholesome.

Like Kaeya and Diluc, the both of you agreed to keep your relationship a secret. Though unlike the both of them, the both of you are very secretive at it and aren’t planning on announcing it.

Perhaps when you two are about to be wed, maybe that’s when you’ll most likely announce your relationship.

The only people who knows of your relationship are Lisa, Barbara, and Kaeya— who are all very supportive.

If there’s someone who would tell everyone about the two of you the moment they find out about it, it’s definitely Klee.

And the both of you are very aware of that risk so you decided to tell Klee about it as well + warn her to not tell anybody or else “Mondstadt will be in danger”

You see her as a daughter of your own so whenever she’s alone in the confidement room, you’d always visit her and ask her about her adventures without Jean knowing.

Unknowingly, she knows what you’re doing but just plays along lol

Dates with Jean are rare but when it happens, it’s beautiful.

You’re most likely the one who’d plan on it and always make Jean close her eyes while dragging her to your destination. Your dates are always somewhere new and that made Jean excited.

Given that you two’s relationship is a secret, the dates always takes place outside of Mondstadt and during night time.

If you two are brave though, the date could be during day time.

Jean’s favorite datespot is definitely stormterror mountains where you can see the whole view of the nation (reference to the beginning of the game where you did the tutorial)

As Jean’s spouse, you’re also her personal masseuse.

Being the Acting Grand Master, Jean is always exhausted. Whenever you have a lot of free time, you’d give her a massage much to her delight.

Depending on how tired she is, she’ll definitely fall asleep while you’re at it. You would take her to the couch nearby and do her paperworks and duty— using the “Master Jean is attending important matters so I’ll be here performing her duties while she’s gone” as an excuse lol

She would lightly lecture you about it when she wakes up though— but you didn’t mind.

Arguments with Jean are very rare since there’s nothing to argue about. Unless it’s about Jean pressuring herself to the point where she forgets to take care of herself. Though that happens seldom.

When you two did fight, Jean is most likely the one who’s calm. She lets you vent and as son as you calm down, you two would start talking about it and sort it out.

What happens when Jean gets sick like in her story quest, you ask?

Obv you’ll force her to go back home and take a rest.

However, Jean wouldn’t stand down from it.

She knew that her job is very exhausting and didn’t want you to force yourself in doing her duties so she’ll definitely be stubborn and insists that she can still perform her duties.

But if you give her a lot of persuasion, Jean will give up and go home to rest.

Despite the commissions being difficult than you expected, you still manage to finish them all along with Jean’s paperworks.

When you go home from the headquarters, you immediately cook Lotus Soup for her.

Expect Jean to make it up to you with gifts and a date the next day hehe

And perhaps a ring...

“Thank you, N/N. For always being there by my side when I need it- your efforts have been appreciated.”

“Anything for you, Jean.”

I don’t know Albedo as much as the mentioned Mondstadt characters here but I applaud you for being able to win his heart.

He’s the type of guy who isn’t really focused on having a relationship since he’s very dedicated to alchemy so the fact that he loves you back is very surprising.

Like Lisa’s hc, you’re working with him in the Knights of Favonius headquarters.

While he manages Alchemy in KOF, you manage their weaponry and armor.

So you two most likely first talked when Albedo visits your office regarding the Festering Desire sword or requests an upgrade on his weapon.

When it comes to the public, the both of you didn’t care if your relationship is a secret or not.

I don’t see Albedo as the kind of guy who’s into PDA much but that doesn’t mean he’ll shrug you away when you try to do PDA.

During break times, you would visit Albedo’s lab and make him eat with you since he always forgets to eat. He lowkey loves it whenever you take care of his well-being.

Whenever Albedo has to go to Dragonspine, you either go with him or stay in the headquarters. It depends on your work if you have stuff to do.

Sometimes when you have a lot of time on your hands, you would visit his labratory and clean it up.

There were times when you decided to go to Albedo in Dragonspine with Jean’s permission. Usually it’s a surprise visit so Albedo couldn’t help but hope that one of those days is when you visit him.

As for dates,

Dates for you and Albedo are very very rare, when it happens, it’s because the day is a special day.

It’s either a picnic outing near Mondstadt or strolling around Mondstadt together— any date that is outdoors is fine with you two, though it’s mostly a picnic date.

During the picnic dates, Albedo will definitely sketch you. His sketchbook has a lot of drawings of you and you would be flustered from it.

Sometimes he would sketch you without you noticing— you just looks so inspiring that Albedo can’t help himself.

When sleeping together, the two of you would usually sleep at such a late hour— mainly Albedo, who would be focused on his experiments to even notice the time.

You have to go up to him and tell him to sleep with you. Ofc, he’ll say he’ll follow you but you knew he wouldn’t in the next hours. So you always have to drag him away from his work and force him to sleep.

There were times when you two would argue. Mainly because of how Albedo needs to take care of himself more and that you can’t always be there.

You’re mostly the one who has to apologize first but depending on how serious the fight was, Albedo will apologize first as well.

When adventuring in Dragonspine with Albedo, he would keep a close eye on you. If he sees an enemy nearby, he would take you somewhere else. The last thing he wants is to fight enemies and be distracted.

There were times when Albedo thought of a breakup.

He dread the day of being the one who brings Mondstadt to its demise. The thought of killing you broke his heart.

Even when he thinks breaking up with you is the best option, he couldn’t bring himself to do it. He loves you so much.

Albedo has to rely on Aether in bringing him down before he could destroy Mondstadt. As long as the traveller’s around, Albedo can hold on to your relationship longer.

Of course.. the day of when Aether leaves Teyvat after finding his sister will come.

He hoped that when he awakens, Mondstadt’s Honorary Knight will still be here to stop him.

If not, then he has no choice.

“I’m sorry flower... I don’t think this is working out at all.”

[oviids]

pls share some of your spn fic recs 🥺🥺

ok, a few things first:

followers and mutuals who do not have supernatural brainworms, kindly avert your eyes

i don’t normally rec or even read much fanfic any more but this is a CRISIS ok (cont.)

there is so. much. content for deancas out there and i have incredibly high standards, several ancient ao3 bookmarks, can speedread, and want to spare you guys the experience of wading through it all.

i also have a section for spn femslash since I was pretty into that back in the day (sadly a lot less fan content for this :/)

I don’t really like au’s or pure smut (I honestly usually just skim or skip those scenes) so if you’re mainly looking for that kind of thing this probably won’t be very helpful to you. jsyk.

i’m not great at describing stuff but i’ll do my best, i’ll also try and add tw’s when neccesary.

i wil try and keep updating this with any other decent fics i find, feel free to rec stuff too since i’m like 7 years behind.(edit 1/25/21) this is getting looooong so i’m going to start making another list on my spn blog rather than update this one

(edit 1/3/21) since this has gotten pretty long i’ve added rating/approximate word counts and marked my particular favorites with an asterisk.

Dean/Cas fic:

So Says The Sword*** - explicit/85k. FUCK its good...au/time travel where dean is not pulled out of hell by cas and says yes to becoming the michael sword. honestly could serve as an alternative to actually watching the show, if you want to get into dean/cas without actually doing that to yourself.

Fata morgana.*  - teen/6k, pst s9 finale. very bela centric and i love it, she finds cas looking for dean in hell.

Redemption Road -misc/600+k. an incredibly long fic from a collaborative writing group back in the day. canon divergent from the end of s6 on, has a cool take on godstiel and the leviathans, as well as the lovecratian mythos connection. ngl when i reread it i only made it about 28% in but imo the casual reader can actually stop around there, the rest concerns a lovecraftian apocalypse that is still good (i think i don’t remember it very well) but not required to enjoy the first half. if you prefer i have an ebook version i can send you on gdrive.

Someone Who's Feeling For Me* - mature/45k, s12. they run into lisa braeden and dean thinks cas is into her while cas thinks dean still likes her. treats lisa way better than the show ever did and the miscommunication is pretty funny rather than annoying.

a turn of the earth - mature/95k. time travel fic where cas from s10 keeps showing up in deans life from a few years before s1 to right before the hellhounds take his soul.  slow burn, good character study, and at one point cas punches the dad in the face and it rules.

On the Wings of War - teen/85k, canon divergent s5. dean accidentally becomes the Horseman of War. plays fun, fast and loose with biblical lore, michael has some rights.

Named - mature/95k, alternate s5. EXTREMELY blasphemous in a fun sexy way. manages to predict metatron almost to a T. there’s one major character death and its literally jesus christ, everyone is very sad about it and it sets the rest of the story rolling. an alternate interpretation of cas’ mission to raise dean from hell which had me on the floor. ngl its kind of misogynistic at points, but its from 2010 and tracks with late oughts-2010 spn (sorry anna the author did you dirty here:/).

The Girlfriend Experience - explicit/15k. uhhh i don’t normally rec or even read smutty stuff unless someone i know is specifically asking for it but this has stuff like sam trying to be a good ally and dean thinking holding hands with cas is ‘kinda gay :/’ minutes after having gay sex with him.

i crippled your heart a hundred times - explicit/19k, s8. cas confesses his feelings and dean spends a long time getting his head out of his ass about it. truly hits different after the actual confession, despite being written six years early it feels like its actually what could have gone down more or less if the writers weren’t talentless demons who hate us.

My Roots Take Flight** - mature/125k. reverse au where cas is a hunter and dean’s an angel...OR IS IT???? an alternate retelling of s4. tw for briefly being set in a psychiatric hospital/the hospital being mentioned somewhat frequently throughout the fic, plus more references to torture in hell and heaven than usual.

The One Thing You Can't Lose* - teen/4k.you know those posts about how cas is a super-strong super-tough ancient warrior but he just lets dean tug him around because he likes it? thats it thats the fic.

Hands, From Which All Things Are Built - teen/14k, post s8′s ‘goodbye stranger.’ cas is on the run with the angel tablet but keeps in touch with sam and dean by text, he and dean still manage to be terrible at Actual communication.

Autrement, Danger - or, The Account of an Exceedingly Long Day - mature/30k, post s11. a monster that takes the appearance of your soulmate leads to some wild miscommunications and dealing with years of repression, also dean gets to see cas’ true form which is always cool. tw for non-graphic mentions of underage sexual assault/sex work.

Down to Agincourt - mature/explicit/900++++k, endverse continuation. endverse!cas survives his encounter with lucifer and discovers another time-displaced dean from s7. i’ve only read the two of four parts but its really good, veeeeery slow burn, has a lot of fun oc’s and takes a rather surprising but (imo) entertaining and intriguing turn into Hellenic history and mythology. usual tw’s for endverse/endverse!cas but nothing graphic, it’s actually pretty light-hearted (relatively speaking of course).

Nothing Equals the Splendor** - explicit/8k, THEE finale fix it fic you’ve been waiting for! posits that the entire final episode was just a (very bad and lame) djinn’s vision.

like moses and batman and james dean - explicit/31k, post s8. explores dean’s trauma and internalized homophoba from his technically canon experience with sex work and its impact on his relationship with cas. the sex work itself isn’t really shown in any detail but it’s still a relatively heavy fic.

Crazy Diamonds - explicit/25k, s4/alternate s14. fresh-out-of-hell dean and dean from 10 years in the future are displaced from time and sent to each other’s present.

where the weeds take root - explicit/30k. au where the men of letters kick them out of the bunker and they accidentally move out into the country, get over their codependence and semi retire. featuring chicken coop building, sam volunteering at a dog shelter, gardening, and blissfully mundane domesticity.

No Resting Place - teen/6k. djinn dream fic, switches back and forth between cas’ dream of being married to dean and retired from hunting to the aftermath when he wakes up. tw for brief mention of suicide since, y’know, djinn dream.

any port in a storm - mature/52k. post s8 finale. cas and dean have to pose as a couple going through a rough patch for a case and actually deal with their emotional baggage, cas struggles with being human and metatron is up to stuff.

all this and heaven too* - explicit/7k. in the author’s own words ‘...a love letter to every trans person who ever projected onto Dean Winchester.’ absolutely unzipped me emotionally and theologically, its just. so good. tw for very brief mentions of internalized transphobia/dysphoria.

Because it is* - mature/6k, finale fix it. killing chuck does not bring back anyone back and the winchesters spend a very long time dealing with what they’ve lost, cas and dean SOMEHOW still manage to have signifigant communication issues even after the confession. tw for suicidal thoughts/brief attempt.

Vena Amoris and Other Old-Fashioned Bullshit* - teen/4k, s6. when cas fell for dean it automatically soulbonded/angel married them, shenanigans ensue when dean finds out during the angel’s civil war. funny and actually written back when s6 was airing so cas is still (or at least pretending to be) kind of an OP asshole which is fun.

Rinse, Repeat - teen/3k, s8. angsty character study of cas as he’s reprogrammed and trained to kill dean. not really dean/cas since its just cas’ pov of canon events but its beautifully written and ends with him snapping out of it through the power of love (also now a canon event!).

Emergence - explicit/59k, canon divergent after s11. dean meets a hunter he only recognizes as their friend claire novak’s missing father, but soon realizes he might be the answer behind the mysterious void in his memories and feelings (aka everyone’s memories of cas are completely wiped away for three years).

Cuckoo And Nest - explicit/10k, early established relationship/character study, cas tries to figure out how he fits into dean’s life and space in the bunker.

Build a Home* - teen/20k, canon divergent s12. sam and eileen are cute and turn the bunker into men of letters/hunters hq and everyone but cas moves in, mutual miscommunication issues and pining ensues.

Down in the River - teen/5k, early s8, cas prays to dean in purgatory while sam and dean try to figure out a way to get him out.

Teaching Poetry to Fish* - mature/52k, ?? BC through the entire series/canon divergent s14 and 15. retelling of crucial scenes throughout the shows timeline from cas’ pov, feat. actual fish and poetry.

the minor fall, the major lift - gen/4k, post confession/finale fixit. dean goes into the empty to save cas and runs into several old friends (and enemies).

With the Kisses of His Mouth* - teen/3k, gen later seasons. dean and cas keep kissing by accident.

Remaining Grace - explicit/109k, alternate s6. au where cas asks dean for help with raphael and dean, of course, does. tw for temporary major character death/semi-graphic depictions of alcohol withdrawal.

The face of heaven.* - teen/10k, au, dean is a regular guy and cas is a fallen star (think ‘stardust’, kinda).

Stories Are Made of Mistakes*  - teen/5k. newly human cas has trouble getting used to a human body and humanity in general, but still figures out that he and dean are A Thing before dean does.

Hurry Up And Wait - mature/21k, canon divergent s12. a fairyland and quite possibly LOTR related case comes up and dean goes full fanboy, mary is introduced to the wonders of the peter jackson adaptions, many references and comparisons (including between cas and dean’s ‘friendship’ and arwen/aragon). also charle is still alive and has just been doing fairy stuff this whole time.

There Are Many Things - explicit/28k, s9. cas is extremely lonely/touch-starved and trying to figure out this whole human thing, as well as where he and dean stand after being kicked out of the bunker.

It's A Long Life to Always Be Longing - teen/40k, post s11 finale. amara helps dean by putting him in a magical coma so he can finally get some much needed rest and show him possible futures for him, sam and cas. meanwhile sam and cas go on a roadtrip (or several) to find componets for a spell to wake dean up. really good sam and cas friendship, they actually talk about their shared lucifer trauma and stuff.

Non-Photo Blue - gen/2k, s4/5/alternate s5. fifty moments from cas’ memories of dean.

Tall Grass - explicit/57k, canon divergent post series. cas becomes the ultimate plant dad. feat the wayward sisters gang, cathartic character growth, fun oc’s, domesticity, and lots of actual botanical info-dumping.

on vessels - no rating/gen/2k. established dean/cas, cas tells dean about how he used to imagine what it would be like to have him as his vessel.

search for tomorrow on every shore* - teen/11k, post-finale (extremely derogatory). some angels in jack’s new heaven act out and dean gets temporarily resurrected in 2003 and runs into his younger self.

Architecture of the Minotaur’s Heart - explicit/45k, very canon divergent post s1. dean’s new house seems to have a life and mind of its own, while in his dreams he sees glimpses of a world and apocalypse that never came to be and an angel that looks strangely like his mysterious neighbor, cas. loosely inspired by the book house of leaves (which i highly recommend for fans of weird horror).

The Distance Of The Setting Sun - explicit/17k, post s5. established dean/cas relationship, team free will finally takes advantage of cas’ abilities to go on vacation around the world.

diamond star halo - teen/5k, s11. dean lets cas use him as a temporary vessel while he recovers from rowena’s spell, sam is a long-suffering third-wheel.

Make Known** - teen/16k, s6/7. dean struggles to understand how cas could have become his enemy and whether he ever truly knew him in the first place.

blunt little instrument* - mature/1.4k, post finale. dean finally confronts his father in heaven, very cathartic.

my heart a compass*** - teen/10k, post confession. the empty forces cas to re-experience his most regretted moments while dean tries to snap him out of it and bring him home.

A Crash Course in Someone Else's History - teen/11k, s6. cas from the very start of s4 is brought forward in time by s6!cas to distract the brothers from his and crowley’s plans.

The Cuckoo Father - mature/8k, s7 au. the woman who found cas in the river post-leviathans does not marry him bc he was sent to her by god or whatever, but actually identifies him as jimmy novak and sends him back to claire and amelia.

The Dead Dean Clause* - teen/5k, post alt s5 ending. team free will celebrates surviving taking down lucifer by getting blitzed, cas lies to a cop and gets an impromptu driving lesson. title/description sound dark i know but it’s actually very funny and light.

Suck It, Judy Garland - mature/20k, s12 (after the ‘i love you...i love all of you’ episode). cas and sam have to pretend to be a couple for a case and dean is NOT happy about it.

By Daylight and In Dream - teen/16k, s5. pre-dean/cas, dean invites cas to use his dreams to hide from the other angels. tw for very brief mention of a memory/dream of alastair sexually assaulting dean.

The Five People You Meet in Heaven - mature/22k, post-canon. an actually happy (if sometimes bittersweet) heaven endgame written several years ago, though some details are rather eerily similar to the show’s ending.

heaven is a place on earth* - teen/2k. dean’s pov of some of the times cas left him behind throughout the show, and one alternate ending where he finally gets to stay.

I Cleanse The Mirror - teen/20k, alternate s6. dean’s body is stolen by an ancient elemental and his soul has to hitch a ride in cas’ vessel.

an exploration of gender; angelic*** - mature/4k. *oscar isaac voice* lets get into angel gender politics!! aka cas is trans.

Zenith - explicit/33k, s9. after 9x06 an angry witch curses cas with the ability to see supernatural beings and human souls.

La cucina. - gen/3k, alt s9. dean goes wild helping a newly-human cas find out what kinds of food he likes, or the early s9 domesticity we deserved!

Dean Winchester, Cocksucker at Rest***** - teen/7k, post-finale. john and mary finally come over for dinner and john reacts to dean/cas in a rather predictable fashion. SOOOOOOOOO good omg, its so funny and a little sad and very very cathartic. part of a series that has a few other really good short fics.

The Way You Didn't Go - teen/5k, s15. coda to 15.09, dean has nightmares about the moc!cas timeline.

On Drowning - teen/28k. dean saves cas after he nearly drowns, they both try and deal with the physical/mental fallout (aka the fic where thee iconic “you only touch me when you think I’m dead or dying” originates). tw for realistic depictions of drowning/triage/misc medical information.

The Thirty-Six Questions That Lead to Love* - mature/13k. claire has dean and cas pretend to be her gay dads for a case and they play the titular 36 question game, get mistaken for swingers, and birdwatch, among other things.

Assorted F/F stuff:

Deep Breaths* - mary/ellen, au where mary said no to azazel’s deal and let john stay dead, still becomes a milf.

Like Rebel Diamonds - krissy/claire, they become hunter gf’s on the hunt for cas to kick his ass for taking jimmy. not-so-stealth dean/cas as well.

To Ash and Bone - anna/ruby, same author as the previous fic (p much all of her stuff is good from what i recall). au where ruby is a witch and helps anna when she’s cursed.

Holy Clockwork Angels - jo/ruby, STEAMPUNK au with very cool worldbuiilding.

At Day's End - jo/anna (my fucking KINGDOM for more jo/anna content, the dean/cas parallels are allllll there), au where they are both at the camp in the endverse and gfs.

these posts - ok so not actually a fic but i’m now obsessed with this hannah/meg dynamic.

Tagelied - mary/ellen, the true story of how ellen got into hunting before angels interfered.

Hell's Bells** - meg/abaddon, alternate s8/9 where meg survives crowley’s attack with sam’s help and teams up with abaddon (who she has a sk year old crush on) to take back hell.

The Ecstasy of the Rose - anna/ruby, anna travels back in time to escape heaven and becomes a signifigant part of ruby’s old human life.

Angel Underground - anna/jo, kind of an urban fantasy au with a very intriguing premise (sadly its very short, i’d love to see more if this ‘verse).

Clover, Flame - billie/mary, billie was always the reaper that showed up to take mary after her death(s) over the years.

Drag Me To Heaven - anna/ruby, a variant on the ‘last night on earth’ thing with dean.

Come Home* - jo/anna, canon-divergent au where anna is the new waitress at the roadhouse and helps jo set up a (probably not really) haunted house for halloween.

[dourpeep]

Dumb things I've said in the past week as Genshin characters (crack):

It's now that I realize I say a lot of dumb things so this list is long

-

Kaeya: "No, no—I'm not just a simp, I'm an opportunistic simp. No one is safe."

Hu Tao: "Did I just eat a bone...?" (C answers yeah, probably) "Huh. Oh well."

Albedo: "You don't understand—! The lobsters have telomeres that can repair themselves. Can you imagine what it'd be like if I could do that?"

Venti: (strumming wildly on a ukulele that's not mine) "Well that's enough practice for today."

Xingqiu: (to a few friends) "Yes I do write and no you'll never figure out where and what—" "it's smut isn't it" "nO"

Klee: (spending a lot of time pulling my short hair over my face to make a mustache while also making the ugliest expression I can in C's direction) "hehe" (as soon as C looks over I immediately bust out laughing before C can even see)

Xiao: (in group chat) "I'll end up dying but it's fine that's just how it be sometimes mmhm"

Bennett: "Listen man, my brain doesn't do the thing where you can turn stuff in your mind." (a long moment of silence) "SPACIAL REASONING"

Diluc (to Kaeya): "your heart being calm isn't you calming down it's just the energy drink stopping it slowly mmhm"

Rosaria: "I asked a question and didn't stick around for the answer that's kinda lame ngl"

Yanfei: "I'm surprised that people were complaining lol but also not"

Donna: "Diluc in general...big strong"

Also Xingqiu: "You can pry my comma splices and runons and incomplete sentences from my cold dead hands"

Barbara: "dhfaieh nothing like trying to record singing and listening to it and immediately deleting it"

Xinyan: (quoting a tiktok) "HEY BITCHES AND BROS AND NONBINARY H OE S"

Lisa: "Oh to be a hot mom for the rest of my life"

Zhongli: "It’s an Italian dessert that uses espresso infused cookies (namely lady fingers) and is made by alternating layers of cookie + a light cream, often paired with chocolate as well because it enhances the flavor but not usually in the og dessert, sometimes in the form of shavings. Makes for a light, sweet cake with a hint of coffee"

Albedo again: "I can add insight but currently I'm actually working on some other stuff so I won't"

Childe: "understandable. who's going to be in pain and death?"

Chongyun (talking about Xingqiu and Hu Tao): "they've both said so many things that are easily taken out of context and it's only been 13 minutes"

Razor: "cheese....gravy....potato."

Noelle: "So it actually, in that sense, would make sense for the date to happen whether it's because genuine interest in the person or interest in the information"

Albedo: "electromagnetic wave manipulation through the creation of electric fields mingling with magnetic fields"

Probably Kaeya: "gotta take advantage of what I've been given"

Childe again: "my inner monologue says stuff and I'm so glad that I don't just flat out say everything"

Sucrose: (after a friend said something dumb) "if you throw a rock at a building you're bound to hit it once"

Yet another Kaeya: "I like being in the know without being a part of it"

Scaramouche, probably: "If you want some interesting dynamic gimme someone I can take down a peg or two"

Eula: "someone's saltier than me I see"

Notable contenders:

"Hey C, what's the dumbest thing I've said in the past few days? Everything. It was a trick question hehe."

"I just saw a funny French 4-panel but anyway razor saying je suis comme les loups"

"i chugged a whole 16oz can of monster back in hs (never having ever drank any energy drink) 10 minutes before my finals"

"I learn for the sake of learning rather than to do anything with the information"

"that wasn't a nap that was like passing away only to be violently thrown back into my body"

[unolvrs]

have you read jigokuraku? if you had, do you plan on writing any fics for it? since the story does have a lot of references to Buddhism and most of your works do as well.

of course, yes! i’ve read it since before it was completed and it really made me satisfied a lot when it started getting popular bc back then, literally nobody knew jigokuraku even chainsaw man ngl i had to rope my friends into reading both and we cried together...

i personally never thought of writing one, tbh.

(and the references for buddhism is usually out of necessity since it etwines with the plot. i’m not as knowledgable about buddhism as you think i am. i literally don’t know much about it and i know more about shintōism which is weird because my dad is a buddhist. most of the stuff i wrote about buddhism is just through research and very, very scarce knowledge. TBH i don’t like writing about buddhism bc i don’t know much about it and i always worry if it’s becoming a stretch.)

anyway, i never thought of it but now that you brought it up... i very much like jú huā and táo huā a lot. okay, i lowk hate shugen but we have a love-hate thing going on okay. and eizen too 💀 BUT SHION,, god shion made me scared of death flags the whole time bc he was a walking talking death flag. this is my friend and i discussing about jigokuraku anime.

also, when is someone going to sit down with me and discuss how aza chōbei is like bakugō katsuki + shinazugawa sanemi ?? he made me sob so much. he’s one of my favorite characters bc my favorite character will always be yui, gabimaru’s wife.

so the answer is, now that you remind me: yes, i’m probably going to make one.

[ssa-thotchnerr]

Don’t Let Me Drown

Anonymous asked:

maybe a Hotch angst with his daughter being kidnapped by unsub, and he decides to drown her because he knows that she’s afraid of water and can’t swim? Maybe no happy ending? Thank you so much!

word count: 2.2k words of pure ANGST

warnings: drowning, major character death, grief, angst to the max, sad!hotch, kinda shifty writing ngl

a/n: anon, you are EVIL! I love it though. Yeah, this is pretty sad cause Hotch is really sad 😭😭😭 anyway I feel like this is really shit so if yall could give some feedback, I would really appreciate it!

—

"Shut up!"

You winced as you were harshly hit over the head by your kidnapper. He slammed the back door of the van shut, causing you to flinch back in fear. He'd just tied your arms back, not wanting to risk you trying to scratch his eye out once more, since you'd nearly succeeded the first time over. You didn't care that you were full on crying, the kind of crying that shook your entire body painfully.

The kind of crying that suggested fear.

You didn't even remember what happened, one minute you were walking home from school, the next you were in some strangers van with your arms lashed behind your back painfully tight. He wasn't too bothered about you knowing his name of what he looked like, you knew what that meant. You knew why he didn't care about you knowing who he was, what he was going to do to anyone else he could get his hands on.

You knew he was gonna kill you.

The sheer thought made you whimper. You didn't want to die, not like this. Not in fear, not without saying goodbye to your dad, your little brother, your friends. You didn't want to be murdered, not be a case that JJ would be given one morning and be pinned up on a wall. Taking in a deep breath, you attempted to steady out your breathing, there was no way you were going down without at least trying to negotiate your way out of here.

"Please, let-let me go, I won't tell anyone, I-I promise," You said, looking up at the man as he slid the door of the van open. "You-you don't wanna do this." You tried your hardest not to stutter, but your nerves were at an all time high, you couldn't help it. He laughed as he reached forward and snatched you towards him, causing you to scream. "Let me go! Please!" You cried as he picked you up.

"Shut up, brat!" He snarled, throwing you onto the ground. Looking around, you realised you were at the lake near Quantico, meaning that if your dad and his team were working on this case already, you at least had a chance.

Right?

Pulling out your phone that he'd taken from your pocket, he grinned as he took a picture of you. You shook your head and let out an angry huff, your chest heaving with each and every breath you took. The Unsub smiled at you maliciously as he put your phone up to his ear.

"Poor baby, just wanting her daddy to come and save her, huh?" You sniffled as you looked up at him, an angry look on your face as your eyebrows were furrowed. "Well, how about I left you speak to your dad one more time, a final goodbye?" You felt your stomach drop.

Final goodbye?

You started to tug desperately at the rope lashing your arms to your side, fear overtaking your rational side as you realised where you were. You were by a river, you couldn't swim, and this guy appeared to know and have something against your dad.

"Hello, is this SSA Hotchner?"

—

Hotch let out a frustrated sigh as your phone went to voicemail once more. He'd tried calling you about 7 times, and every time he tried, it rang out to voicemail. Hotch knew that your phone was always on, after all, you were a modern day teenager, didn't all of them have their phones on all the time?

"Still nothing?" Derek asked. Hotch shook his head as he looked up at his colleague, trying to hide the complete and under distress he was feeling at the moment. But Derek had been working with Hotch for years, and he knew his usually stoic boss better than Hotch thought he did. "Hey, it's alright. We'll get her home, Y/N's a smart kid." Derek assured him.

"I know she's a smart kid, but she's still a child, she'll be scared," Hotch said. As much as he didn't want to think about it, he knew there was a possibility you were already dead. He hated that he thought of that, that you died scared, possibly painfully. Hotch had never answered his phone quicker than when your name flashed up on the screen. "Y/N-" Hotch was prepared to ground you until you graduated high school just for worrying him so much.

"Hello, is this SSA Hotchner?"

That wasn't you.

"Where's Y/N?" Hotch asked, trying to keep his voice steady. Derek looked out to the bullpen, seeing that the whole team, Minus Rossi and Emily, was there, he signalled to Hotch, who nodded as Derek left him.

"You'll be able to find Y/N at Lake Ridge," He answered.

"Help me! Dad!" You were crying. Hotch couldn't help but to do the same thing, he stood up, he didn't want to feel like it was a hopeless situation anymore. The line went silent for a minute, making Hotch freeze on the spot.

There was a scream.

The line went dead.

-

It was cold.

So, so cold.

But you found that after a while, it wasn't cold anymore. It almost felt comforting, that if you went just that little bit deeper, you would be able to get warmer, and warmer, and warmer. And it became just that, so comforting in fact, you found that you were drifting away from consciousness.

This was it.

And that was it.

Hotch practically dove out of the car as Derek pulled up, running out and getting right into the lake. He knew you couldn't swim. Everything he did, went against everything he was told to do. Don't rush into things, make sure the coast is clear, all of that was not to be ignored, but given the circumstances, Hotch wasn't much caring about what the law said. Yes, he was an FBI agent, but he was your father first.

Dear God, he hoped he still was your father.

The team watched from the shore as Hotch disappeared under the water, all of their hearts practically beating out of their chests. You were the first BAU Baby, the female embodiment of your father, something that Hotch would endlessly brag to Haley about when she’d visit the BAU with you. You’d always listen to Reid list of facts that there was no way a child your age could understand, Penelope would always be aware of your presence before hand and have a plushie ready for you so she could keep her coined title of being your favourite. They'd watched you grow up to the 16 year old they knew and loved, and they were praying that the last time they saw you, wasn't the last that they saw you alive.

"I called an ambulance just as we left, it should be here soon," Spencer said, still keeping his eyes on where Hotch had disappeared. It was a tense atmosphere, and with every passing second, the outcome of the situation became more and more bleak. After what felt like hours, Hotch resurfaced with you, unconscious in his arms.

“Oh my God,” JJ whispered, looking around at the team to see their reactions. Everyone was simply in shock. Hotch waded through the water, placing you on the ground and kneeling beside you. The whole team rushed to your side, Reid at your neck to feel for a pulse.

His stomach dropped when he felt nothing.

“Damn it, Y/N, wake up,” Hotch said, starting compressions on your chest. JJ was holding your hand, Derek was waiting on the ambulance. They’d completely forgotten about the UnSub, they were hoping that you could make it out of this alive to tell them about your captor. You had to make it out of this, you’d lost too much in the past years, surely you’d be allowed to not lose your life too? Your dad switched to mouth to mouth, but nothing appeared to be working. “Come on, honey, don’t leave me.” Hotch was desperate, his voice breaking as he spoke. Everyone was starting to feel sick, it was like watching Hotch grieve over Haley all over again, just 10x worse this time around.

You were still a child.

Throughout everything your dad tried, you remained completely unresponsive. Hotch knew that you were gone, but he didn’t want to think about it.

“Hotch,” He looked up at his colleagues, who were all looking at him with sympathy. None of them wanted to say anything, it would make everything real, make it hurt ten times worse. To Hotch, it felt like being dragged kicking and screaming into a nightmare, as he sat there, his oldest daughters body in his arms. Up until now, he had praying that he wouldn’t be planning another funeral, no, not for you. He didn’t want to be thinking about what he would be saying to everyone coming to the aforementioned funeral, about how he would have to use the past tense while speaking about you.

Hotch finally broke down.

JJ, Spencer and Derek left Hotch for a bit, this wasn’t exactly their time to be grieving. They hadn’t just lost their child, killed by their worst fear. To make things worse?

The ambulances arrived.

-

No one could say that they were particularly surprised when the unit chief stepped back for a bit. They all understood, how could they not? They didn’t even want to think about how Hotch was feeling, how he was dealing with the silence that now on,y came with a one child household. Everyone had went to your funeral, it was the first time anyone had seen Hotch since that day. Everyone had taken turns at going to check on him, and right now it was Emily and Derek’s turn.

“Hey,” Emily said, smiling sympathetically at Hotch as the front door opened. Hotch smiled back, both Emily and Derek knew that it was a fake smile, but the gesture was appreciated. “How are things?” She asked him.

“Alright, I guess,” Hotch answered vaguely. “Me and Jack cleared out some stuff from her room, he took her record player and all of her vinyls, he’d been begging for them for years,” He said, a real, genuine smile coming to his face.

“That’s good, man,” Derek said. “Is there anything you wanna talk about?” Derek asked. Hotch shook his head. It still hurt to talk about you, it was still too deep of a wound to mention. The thought he found himself mulling over often was what did he say if people asked him about his kids? He would surely have to mention you, right?

The only thing he could conjure up was; “I lost my daughter, but I have a son.”

He lost his daughter.

It hurt.

It really fucking hurt.

-

Later that night, Hotch had left Jack alone downstairs for a few hours while he finished some stuff in your room. Once coming downstairs, he paused as he saw you on the screen of the TV. He recognised the video, it was your 5th birthday party, Jack being only a baby at the time. Jack was still young, but old enough the know what had had happened to his older sister.

“Hey, what’s this?” Hotch asked. Jack paused it and looked up at his dad, wiping the tears away from his eyes. Hotch had noticed that Jack hadn’t cried yet, and he knew that different people grieved differently. He knew from experience.

“I found it, it had her name on it and I just wanted to see her again,” Jack said, trying his hardest to keep back the sob that was aching to escape. Hotch sensed this was coming, he knew his son.

“It’s alright to cry, Jack, she is-was your sister, you’re allowed to be upset,” Hotch said, the correction hurting more than the previous ones did. Jack shook his head, and the dam broke, he burst into tears. Hotch put his arm around Jack, pulling him close as he finally broke down. “I know it hurts.” He assured him.

“I just miss her,” Jack whispered, wiping his eyes.

“I know, I miss her too.”

—

Taglist

@snarky--starky @averyhotchner @snowangle1994 @pepperonysmcu @yeojiins @mollbt

[trashcatsnark]

NGL I love how much you have embraced the silverv stuff here - its so nice to read. I submit for consideration, Rogue notices the tattoo while on the disaster date and both Johnny and V play it off as a joke and holy shit poor rogue stuck in a room with two morons.

Also - V getting dressed for that date and realizing they just MIGHT be a little jealous with a side of some thoughts of "Oh God Johnny Would NEVER Feel That Way About Me Gotta Bury This Deep So He Doesn't Know"

Johnny notices the anxiety but is very dense about the cause.

Oh hell yeah, I have fully embraced it and this ship; I was writing SilverV porn before the game came out, like I knew what my ship for this game was gonna be from the second I saw gifs of

“You’re a dick, Johnny” 

“And you’re a cunt, so maybe we’ll fit together after all.” 

That banter sealed my fate and I’m fairly sure I had named and created my V then wrote porn of her with Johnny literally a week later. The devil works hard, but my brainrot works harder and faster. 

Spoilers! 

Okay, so I’ve thought a lot about that date in both a silverv context (and largely how it fits with my V, Aidan and her fic) I’ll try to stay general though. 

Firstly, I whole heartedly believe Rogue sees through their bullshit. Not only is she just good at that, but Johnny even states she has MRE’s (?) and can see through people, like her eyes can pick up on signs of lying. And usually, thats not an issue for when V talks to her, but when she asks about Johnny and their relationship with him. Its a mess. And when Rogue asks Johnny about it, its a mess. 

And when Rogue notices the tattoo it’s like Oh... I get it . And Johnny is of course like, “hahaha, yeah I thought that’d be so funny, the kid hates it.” But Rogue isn’t stupid, she knows a lovey dovey heart with their names, something that looks like someone doodled it on their third grade notebook about their crush, is not really typical of Johnny’s “joking” She knows that if Johnny is not really the kind of guy to hahahaha its so funny to make it look like we love each other; he’d be more likely to get a dick tattooed on V’s arm if it was just to mess with them. For gods sake, look how many people didn’t pick “the other one” because they were convinced it was gonna be a dick. That’s a Johnny just trying to fuck with someone move. So, she doesn’t buy it, but doesn’t push it...with him. 

She asks V about and of course they play it off as “Yeah, Johnny thought it’d be funny, what a fucking asshole, its so fucking dumb, I totally fuckin hate it.” 

“So, why not get it removed?” 

“Uhhhhhhhhhhh, well you see what had happened was, um, I, just uhhhh, never been enough time, I guess yeahhhhhh.” 

Cause lets face it, in cyberpunk universe, getting a tattoo removed should be easy. If you can get blades in your arms and can have a completely newly reconstructed body in like an afternoon; you can get a tattoo removed in like twenty minutes. So, V still keeping it, says volumes about how they really feel.

Now, V’s jealousy and the date. 

I do absolutely agree that any anxiety or ill feeling V might have up until the date; Johnny is gonna feel, but not realize where it’s coming from. I think if anything, he’s gonna chalk it up to V being anxious about giving him control again and he’s gonna be like worried that maybe V doesn’t trust him as much as they let on. 

And I do think a V who has feelings for Johnny, would not be able to help feeling some jealousy regarding Rogue and Johnny. Just because jealousy is natural thing to feel and while you can debate if they were ever a good or healthy couple, you can’t debate they shared very real feelings for one another. And I think a lot of V’s jealousy would come from just how much Johnny seems to first think of/go to Rogue. When he needed to save Alt, first person he turned to, Rogue. When he wanted to bomb Arasaka tower (going by his memory of it and ignoring that the event was probably actually planned by Morgan Blackhand), who’d he go to? Rogue. When he becomes determined to get Smasher, who is he determined to get him with, Rogue. When he first decides to atone for his past mistakes, who’s the first person he wants to make up with, Rogue. When at the rooftop, who does he want to go grab to help him save V, Rogue. 

If you got feelings for someone, that’d hurt, I think it’s impossible for that not to spark some jealousy. And V if anything is also mad at themselves for having those feelings, because they like Rogue, she’s a badass, a legend, they respect the hell out of her. And of course they have feelings for Johnny and they wanna help him make shit right and they wanna give him a chance to enjoy himself. But this stupid reptilian part of their brain is screaming but i want to be the first person he goes to, the first person he thinks about, which they know is also stupid cause for fucks sake the man literally lives in their brain, they’re as close as two people can be and literally when Johnny has the power to go to someone for something, he can’t go to V because they’re reduced to sleeping essentially until Johnny hands back the reigns. Yet, feelings aren’t aren’t always, rational, sadly. 

And to Johnny’s credit, he probably doesn’t even give it that much thought. Rogue is a badass, someone he cares for, someone he can depend on and someone he hurt really badly. The two people he can and always has been able to depend on the most (other than Alt prior to her death) have been Kerry and Rogue. And, bless his heart, the fuck is Kerry gonna do? Kerry ain’t a merc, Kerry isn’t gonna bust into Arasaka Tower or plant a bomb. Kerry doesn’t have the connection to Smasher. So, of course, Rogue is gonna be his go to. And in terms of making things up to people...he literally cannot really do much to make things up to V, not the way he can for Rogue or Kerry. Cause, when him and V are both conscious, he can’t do much beyond touch and talk to them. Hell, even with Rogue and Kerry, he relies mostly on V to help him do anything. Even with people he can interact with and do something for; V is doing all the nitty gritty work for him. V drives Rogue to the theater, V breaks into the theater, V gets the projector going. V breaks into Kerry’s house, V disables the security. V gets in contact with Nancy. V gets Nancy out of Totentanz in one piece. 

Which probably if V actually thought about it critically, does mean he’s going to them and relying on them more than Rogue, but they’d probably dismiss it out of it being for necessity and not because he cares about them and feels he an depend on them. 

Anyhow, Johnny would probably love to do some nice gesture to make up for his bender to V, hell they probably were the first person he wanted to make things up since they are his catalyst for changing. But what feasibly can he do for them? Anything he’d want to do with/for them, would just be asking V go do this thing and i’ll also be here. Anything that would put them in public interacting is out, unless they want MaxTac called on V for looking cyberpsychotic. He can’t even do an at home date, because he can’t cook (engram or not) and he can’t buy them anything nice he has no money and also doesn’t technically exist. He could try to do so sneakily while he’s in control...but he’d be using V’s money so they might as well just buy it for themselves. he can play music for them,,. but that doesn’t seem too special and more than a little egotistical to think it’ll make V feel better about what he did... So... all he can really do, is prove he’s worth trusting by being on his best behavior and more importantly do what he can to save V’s life. 

Then there’s the date. And as usual, I have some opinions and feelings about a thing.  Like, okay, I’ve seen some people (aka Gamer Bros on Twitter) being like, Rogue is Johnny’s girl. Wanting to date either of them is wrong because they like each other. (then you also get the BUT ALT crowd, but rants for another day.) And I can’t help but ask, did we play the same date? Their entire date is about how they’re both desperately clinging to the past. Rogue is trying to reclaim 2013-2023 Rogue and Johnny just wanting for a night to feel like the world and his place in it haven’t been completely rearranged. And it ends with Rogue telling him, she is not that girl anymore, she can’t pretend to be, and frankly she doesn’t want to anymore. She wishes she could be, wishes she was still that tall haired street punk who’d never dream of working with corps or being a fixer, but she’s not. Her and Johnny are no longer the same people who met back in to 2010’s. Doesn’t mean they don’t care about one another and doesn’t mean what feelings they had weren’t real or important; but they’re just not those people anymore. Rogue more so than Johnny since he’s freshly on the course of change.   

Something else in regards to the date, that I think is important to talk about and how it relates to silverv and its something I personally have very conflicting feelings about. The fact that Johnny can initiate some physical intimacy with Rogue. See, I have never chosen the option to kiss Rogue during the date and actually did not learn until relatively recently, that if that choice is made it goes a biiit further than a kiss. I have watched the scene now.

And god I have mixed feelingssss. Like, I get it, but I’m not sure I like it. And I know full well, my silverv bias impacts my feelings on the matter, it’s be disingenuous to say otherwise. But I don’t think the ship is purely my reason for having these feelings. But at the end of the day, its all opinions. So, I get from a character perspective that Johnny and Rogue are trying so hard to reclaim their past and what they use to have that they get caught up in trying do what they would do if this was the 2010’s. And Johnny’s relationships as we’ve seen are very physical, sexual chemistry and attraction are major factors in his relationships because he kept things very superficial most of the time. He even says part of the issue with his relationship with Rogue is at the time he didn’t realize he could let her see the true him and still hid behind walls, kept things at a distance. So, the idea that’d they fall back into the old habit of trying to just be physical and ignore their feelings, isn’t out of character. 

However, and Johnny even seems to acknowledge this issue when Rogue interrupts it, they’re doing this with V’s body. V...who did not consent to sexual contact. They consented to a date and while one could logic that this would mean everything a date could entail up to and including physical intimacy; I would argue that that is something that would need further conversation to have clear consent. And like again, this might come down to boundaries and personal feelings. Because I go back to the bender and what’s been interesting to me is too see different opinions on it; some people weren’t actually bothered at all by Johnny’s bender in V’s body, some people were bothered by the drugs and alcohol specifically cause their V is straight edge. Me, personally, it was the sexual content and the endangering of V’s life. Like, it was mostly funny and oh yeah, I expected that it’s bad but eh I’ll move on, to me, until he started getting sexual with people in V’s body. Like that to me is not just crossing the line, it’s catapulting over it. 

And like I said, Johnny even responds to Rogue’s “this isn’t fair” with “what, you mean it’s not fair to V?” which she says she meant it isn’t fair to Johnny. (Which viscerally upset because you nearly used V’s body for sexual gratification without their consent and you’re worried about Johnny, which tbf Rogue has no way of knowing what V has and hasn’t consented to, so its not on her but that was my knee jerk thought). So, he has some awareness that maybe that was a bad move. 

And yeah, it definitely to me and my V would be a very bad move (unless he explicitly talked to them beforehand and got consent). And in general, it made me feel like, dude, you just promised you’d be better and not break V’s trust but again not a day later you’re nearly using them to have sex. It felt like a backslide, which isn’t necessarily unrealistic, cause change and growth is not always linear, people can commit to changing themselves and still fuck up and not get it right; in fact it’s rare for them not to have any sort of backsliding or repeating of mistakes. 

Again, I will also give credit that he could have been assuming that given V consented to the date, they assumed or were cool with their being physical intimacy between him and Rogue. He also generally, might not have really planned for it to happen, because I don’t think Johnny plans a lot of anything. It very well might have just sort of happened. Also, V doesn’t clearly communicate if the sexual component was an issue in the bender. All V really seems to have an issue with in game is the very general thing of; he misled them and used them. So, he might have assumed that wasn’t ever an issue. And hell, if you wanna go full meta, the player is technically the one who makes that choice and V is largely an avatar for the player, so that alone could be seen as whether or not V would/does consent. 

But, from a story perspective, removing the player choice element. I think how that’s handled would have a huge impact on silverv and where it goes from there. 

Because if V and Johnny did talk about consent prior and V did consent while having feelings for Johnny, god I’d have to imagine they’d still feel pretty hurt, but feel it’s irrational to feel that way and have put their own feelings aside because clearly Johnny cares about and wants Rogue and they should ruin what could be his one chance to make things right. 

If there like in game was no talk of consent and Johnny ends up kissing and touching on Rogue and V finds out or has memories of it surface,that could be devastating for them. Not only from their own feelings for Johnny, but this since of betrayal and hurt. Was the oil field conversation just a lie? A manipulation? V might feel like they were used; that Johnny never gave a shit about them or how they feel. And Johnny would have to deal with the realization that intentionally or not; he earned back V’s trust just to destroy it again. He fucked up again, he ruined everything again, he got his second chance and destroyed it…. And he doesn’t know how, if he can, or if he should bother trying to ask for a third. In general, I do think, V would come out of the date assuming (naturally so) that Johnny really only has romantic feelings towards Rogue, that they’re just a friend at best, a host to be used at worse. I even in my own universe with my V have them after everything is better, everyones got a body, expects Johnny to start pursing Rogue and trying to swallow their own feelings and be a supportive friend, try to encourage and push him to do it and Johnny’s just like please stop, Rogue is this close to murdering us both.

I was gonna add more funny stuff to this and include a shitposty interaction he has with my V over them dressing up for the date and shit, BUT HOLY FUCK THIS GOT LONG AND SAD????? I’M SO SORRY.

[butwhatifidothis]

bless you for this work, honestly. I first was exposed to this game through fanfic and genuinely loved some of the versions of edelgard that writers have developed, and then took on the game starting with the Deer and thought “hmm I’m clearly not seeing her perspective in this timeline though cause I have an outsider view and everyone keeps saying they agree with her in principle,” and then played CF and recruited everyone I could and it was one of the most jarring narrative experiences I’ve ever had, seeing so many characters veer wildly OOC. I was prepared for a villain run or a secretly-good-but-misunderstood or a forced-into-desperate-actions or a bloody-revolutionary route but what I got was just so bizarre that I honestly felt like crap and was just pushing through at the end to get it over with— like the actions I was presented with as a player were super dark but the framing was so happy as to be disorienting (like Ignatz being excited about the fall of the Alliance). thank you for your time and energy laying some of this stuff out! it is very validating and helps me feel less disoriented to have someone acknowledge the disconnects, haha.

Aw, thank you so much! That’s actually very similar to how I first saw Edelgard - I hated her in-game, but reading some fic before playing through/watching through the rest of the routes had me wondering if there was something I was missing to her character that made everyone love her so much. She was very interesting in some fics, and her portrayal in AM softened me up to her some! I thought playing - or watching, in this case - her route would be that final push I needed to like her as much as everyone else did.

But then I watched a cutscene/support movie for CF (those longass ones that are like 7 hours) and saw how just... evil, some of her actions were and most of the characters acted, how weird they were being compared to GD and AM, how angry Rhea was at Byleth’s betrayal, how shocked and dismayed Claude was if you kill him, how distraught Dimitri was at his death scene, combined with everyone’s happy-go-lucky personas, and I was just baffled.

It honestly had me hooked - sat through the whole 7+ hours in one sitting (and as someone who usually can’t sit through a 2 hour long movie that’s sayin’ somethin’ lmao). It was like you said one of the most jarring things I’ve ever seen. When Edelgard lied about Arianrhod I was legit shocked, and when she bold face lied about her assault on Garreg Mach - how she said she gave them time to evacuate when we know as players who’ve played other routes that she was spied on and discovered to have been amassing her men to join together during the two weeks grace period before the assault itself - ngl I straight up yelled WHAT. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing from her, and not for the first time either. 

This is the character that stole the hearts of so many? This character, who compares herself to someone willing to murder his own men - hell, his own son - to get vengeance for someone who’s dead? Who never tried to make up for the fact that she used Demonic Beasts to accomplish her goals, knowing how they’re made? Who helped in Flayn’s kidnapping? Who knew who killed Jeralt and said nothing, ever? Whose response to someone rightfully calling her out on her violent conquest is a childish “no u” (and yes, I’ve seen plenty of translations from the JPN text itself, and from what I’ve seen the ENG ver. just simplifies an already dumb sentiment into the dumb phrasing it deserves)? Who lies to her friends and never comes clean, even when it comes to a mass killing like at Arianrhod? Who calls Nabateans “creatures who can merely masquerade as humans at will,” beasts, an inherent enemy to humanity that must be put down for the good of humans? Who’s blatantly wrong about history, who calls the near end of an entire race a “simple dispute”? This one? If I’m being honest, I don’t see how any player who didn’t play CF first could possibly play her route and come out thinking that she was the good guy at all - CF almost made me go right back to hating her - hell, my sister does hate her, full stop, and she played AM first! The route where she’s the most sympathetic!

Absolutely no problem!! This account was made specifically to rant and rave about the fandom’s shit taste and the game’s inconsistencies (like I love 3H to bits and pieces but oh boy is there a lot to rant about, for me it’s like Bleach - a nice mix of good and bad where I love and write about the good and can vent about the bad for hours lmao), so I’m glad it gave you some validation! (:

[sleepymccoy]

Aziraphale’s demon aspect

As voted by 246 people!

The winner is

Owl

with nearly 26% of the primary vote

many people added in their free form answers that they were imagining a barn owl specifically

Owl was the front runner the whole way through this survey, but most of the time by a very beatable margin. The 40 or so people who voted in the last night really tipped it over, it was a tight race! And the results are crazy split imo, a quarter of votes constitutes a win! I love the different opinions and ideas we all have so so much

Ram/sheep came in a hearty second with 16.5% of the vote

A very regal demon there.

After that it gets a little murky, so I’m going to share the second graph I made when is every animal that got more than 1% of the vote. So it’s the top six animals

Magpie and Lion holding strong! Then Moth and Goat looking very good

The second question let you vote for as many options as you thought were appropriate for Aziraphale! So, there were a lot more write-ins! It’s crazy!

I’m using google sheets so I can’t get it to show you every name, but the raw data will be in a read more so you can scroll through everyone’s beautiful imagination there

Again, Owl winds with a solid 20% of the vote. Ram/Sheep coming in with about 15%, followed by Moth, Magpie, Goat, Lion, then Tortoise.

Tortoise was 11th in the first round, tied with Snake (but pale), and managed to surprise me by coming through so strong in the second. Slow and steady, baby.

Nearly everyone who wrote in about Magpies told me that Magpies hoard stuff, so it’s nice to see the hive mind at work there!

Five people told me they were voting goat because of that one piece of art by @hollow-head​ that shows Aziraphale scaling a bookshelf like goats do cliffs. As an artist myself I found it legitimately moving that this one image had stayed with people so strongly. That’s just beautiful. Here’s an example of just one person’s comment

idk dude i just remember one person posted art of him scaling the bookstore shelves like those goats scale mountains and just eating his clothes while he reads it was so fuckin funny but anyway goat eyes are great or he could have lil stubby horns that r covered by his hair

One moth enthusiast took the time to give me a short essay on their choice of moth. I have included a portion of it, cos it was so great

So if I had to choose an insect, it would be a moth, preferably a Megalopygidae, also known as the Flannel Moth. They are fluffy, white-beige and look innocent and fluffy, but their larvae can cause painful inflammations. A poodle moth would also fit because it's almost pure white.

Here’s a flannel moth for everyone

and a poodle moth, which i honestly thought was a hoax but i looked into it just now and it seems legit? There’s not a tonne of proof, but the og pictures are from a scientists who stands by them, so like, wow

And then a DIFFERENT PERSON put this in;

the moth i had in mind is Acherontia atropos, in polish called Zmierzchnica trupia główka (meaning more or less "dusk death's head"). i have a whole symbolism planned out and stuff 

Fucking, moth fandom come through!!

I’m vaguely scared of moths, fun fact. I don’t like the thick thunking sound they make when they hit stuff.

Here is the second round but with all the animals that got four or less votes removed for ease of viewing

the one segment there at 12 o’clock that google hasn’t labeled for me is Swan at 0.9%

I cannot believe I didn’t put swan in as an option, that’s all write-ins

So, to summarise, I suggest you take a lot of this with a grain of salt. It is not meant as an instruction to fandom or to railroad creativity. I have a narrow corner of the Good Omens fandom that I interact with, and while this quiz was up for a week I’m not sure it reached a great variety of people. About 250 folks filled it out, which was tonnes more than I expected and I love each and every one of you for filling it out!! But I have noticed that Owl was first on my list and in the free form answers the example prompt I gave included, “such as a breed of owl that specifically speaks to you,“ so I think it’s possible I did that unknowing bias thing that practiced survey folk know now to do. So, grain of salt.

I also think that if animals like Swan and Cat were in the list of options they’d’ve gotten more votes because the people who voted for those were coming up with it fresh themselves. I suspect people would’ve voted for them, but it just didn’t occur to them in the moment. In much the same way it didn’t occur to me in the moment I was writing this survey.

So people know, I got the ten or so animals that I put in the survey from searching the demon!aziraphale tag on tumblr, so it was all stuff that other people had come up with. I was trying to avoid my own bias, but i think in hindsight i could’ve done better!

Having said all that, this was all so much fun and the results are clear!!! Love a good owl!aziraphale

Imma continue to draw my boy as a ram, though. Cos this was all just for a laugh <3

numbers and a few more things under the cut

So some of these have half a vote ascribed to them. That’s for people who in their freeform answer said things like this;

ngl, that one post about him being a swan still makes me laugh

Mourning Dove. Though that Scallop answer was fucking brilliant

And I kinda made a judgement call that that wasn’t a vote, but it was kind of a vote. So I gave them half a point.

There were a few situations where people would write in a specific species. If I got more than one vote for the root animal I just grouped them together, but if it stayed the only vote then it kept the species. Cat got the most specific species mentioned, and in the second vote Bat had a few species mentioned (albino bat being my fave), but I ended up grouping them all just under Cat and Bat to give them a better chance of getting on the graph. There were probably a few other examples but I can’t think of them. The one exception to this is the person who wrote-in Duolingo Owl specifically. For that one I figured Owl is already pretty solid, and that’s just fucking funny, man

I was also pretty generous about some stuff. So, this person didn’t vote for Moose but they clearly regretted it so I added a vote for Moose in the second one where you could vote for multiples. They kept their Ram and Goat votes, of course, but I added Moose for them

I get very bastard energy from my demon az headcanons. Like f-ing shit up for a laugh more than anything, but otherwise indifferent. That's kinda why I like the ram/sheep/goat thing so much because it reminds me of indifference and random chaos. Or a moose. Shit, I should have written in moose

So yeah, it’s hardly a double blind study that’d stand up to any real criticism, but it was fun and I think the essence of it is fun!! Scroll through and have a read. Imma pull a few more of my fave write-ins and put them down the bottom cos it’s great. Esp the ones that only got one vote, the reasonings were stellar on some of those

Here is the first vote results, where everyone could only vote for one animal each

Owl 63 Ram/Sheep 40 Magpie 28 Lion 26 Moth 21 Goat 17 Swan 4 Eagle 4 Dove 4 Cat 4 Tortoise 3 Snake 3 Scallop 2 Rat 2 Rabbit 2 Mongoose 2 Badger 2 Shima Enaga 1 Shark 1 Porcupine 1 Orangutan 1 Mouse 1 Long Furby 1 Hippopotomaus 1 Goose 1 Duck 1 Dragon 1 Cow 1 Cereberus 1 Boar 1 Bee 1 Bat 1 Alpaca 1

Second Vote results, where everyone could vote for as many as they wanted

Owl1 82 Ram/Sheep 136 Moth 108.5 Magpie 98 Goat 96 Lion 72 Tortoise 61 Snake 37 Eagle 33 Cat 9.5 Swan 7.5 Lizard 4 Rabbit 4 Badger 3 Mongoose 2 Dove 2 Mouse 2 Squirrel 2 Bear 2 Raccoon 2 Capybara 2 Dragon 2 Bat 1 Long Furby 1 Rat 1 Boar 1 Goose 1 Peacock 1 Pangolin 1 Lindworm 1 Moose 1 Chinchilla 1 Duolingo Owl 1 Cackatoo 1 Crow 1 Cow 1 Alpaca 1  Dodo 1 Shark 1 Big Dog 1 Snow Leopard 1 Scallop 0.5

All voting was optional. To help explain how scallop lost 1.5 votes from first to second, I believe the people who voted for it in the first question just skipped the second cos they’d said their bit.

In terms of how many people engaged with the questions, Q1 had 245 answers and one skip. Q2 had 241 answers and 5 skips, and Q3 where I just let people talk at me if they wanted to had 84 answers and 162 skips.

So please enjoy my selection of free form answers. They all made me smile but putting all 84 in seems excessive to me, so I’ve chosen the ones that are either full blown mini essays or that make me laugh. It’s still a lot, this project brought me so much joy

-

Shima enaga - It's the hair man

Cow (aka golden calf)

Scallop. He is a snack.

Swan. Elegant but very capable of fscking you up. Mates for life.

basically anything that is both gentle in nature and fiercely loyal, territorial and protective (but prone to anxiety). Also hedonistic esp. with food. For all of these reasons, I think a dog would be the best choice.

Dragon with his hoard of books

it’s about the teeth. just too sharp and too many to be human. (comment from op here, this person voted for shark, just for context)

Turkish Angora cat. Magnificently fluffy, incredibly intelligent, love heights and will jump off crazy high things and land on your head, gloriously dignified until they see a string and run into a wall, love one or maybe two persons to distraction and want everyone else to fuck off, will drape themselves over their person’s shoulders and go to sleep, range from “will jump in the sea to hunt fish and has a murder pit full of seagulls they’ve massacred” to “will fall over at the sight of a baby bird”, very particular about food and will yell at you if you get it wrong. Also the breed that some asshole took three cats from and bred parent to child to make Persians. The cautionary tale has been acknowledged and we love our crazy smart, single braincelled children.

I usually imagine him as an owl because they are nocturnal (and we know that Aziraphale can easily stay awake the whole night reading). Also the image of an owl puffed up is kind of ridiculous and reminds me of him, of how an annoyed Aziraphale would look. However the options above have made me think that a lion would suit him very well, too. A lion or just a very BIG cat. I mean, he makes pleading eyes to get what he wants, likes to be confortable, is a bit of a bastard and often puts himself in awkward situations from which he needs to be rescued. He just... acts very cat-like in my opinion. Also owls and cats are both predators, but are usually imagined (or, at least cats are) as cute little creatures, just like Aziraphale is an Angel of the Lord (a Warrior, actually) but looks all soft and cute and huggable. I dunno. Maybe I just want to pet an Aziracat.

I love all the other people's thoughts about demon!Aziraphale, but what about the honey badger? I try to explain why I have it in mind for demon!azi: its name (I think it's funny, expecially in English because 'honey' can make you imagine it's something sweet (it is for me), while the 'bad' in badger can be an alarm bell (like 'be careful! It is not like it seems!')); its face (ok, who can say its face isn't cute? I think, and hope, nobody can, and like the name, it is a misunderstanding: as always, be careful, it's not like it seems!, I think demons can say something about demon!azi as like "you don't seem like a 'good' demon, you can't be, your face (animal and human) is too f-ing disgusting sweet to be a demon!", I think maybe even angel!crowley, at the beginning, can think something like this ("how in the world somebody so cute like you can be a demon?"), then he discovered how demon!azi can be a very talented demon sometimes, but in Crowley's mind azi is still his little cutie angry furry); its furry's colour (black=demon, white/grey/silver/idkitsname= color of demon!azi's wings, because even if he fell, I can't say no to his white wings 😭); it is a snake's predator (and in my mind angel!crowley is still a snake); its solitary life (demon!aziraphale is alone and he doesn't mind it, unless it's angel!crowley we're talking about, then our cute demon minds it); its behaviour (demon!azi, even if he's cute, can be a really very talented demon: honey badger is fearless and dangerous, it can fight bigger animals if there aren't other chances and it can't escape); its skin is very tough (except for a soft/safe spot, behind its neck if I remember well, that only angel!Crowley knows and sometimes he uses it to calm demon!azi down or make azi do some good deeds); its diet (it has a sweet-thooth, for honey in primis, but it can eat everything it wants... Doesn't it resemble demon!azi?); it's smart (search for Stoffle on your browser if you don't know)... Ok,I think I finish, sorry for the novel 😅

I tend to think of animals that meet three criteria: (1) they exemplify “faults” in his character exaggerated to “sins”—gluttony, greed/hoarding, sloth, (2) they are species that favor fawning or flight as a defense mechanism but can also be bold on occasion, and (3) blend very well or have a keen affinity with human society, specifically thriving in urban (i.e., city) environments. This is mostly because I can’t see “Aziraphale” in a reverse AU that doesn’t preserve some of his core traits as an angel (a little hedonistic, hoarding, anxious, etc.). So I like city-dwelling bastard animals with bonus points for relation to scripture, like a rock dove or a fox or an owl.

Owls aren't  smart, and the pedant in me says not an owl. But, thinking on it, demon aspect, owls are perceived as smart, but designed as deadly silent predators, patient and solitary. So actually demon Aziraphale could take on more owlish aspects. I just like cockatoo better, since they are smart, and showy. Or a crow, although that does amusing things with Crowleys name.

god imagining him as a chimera is !!! (comment from op, there was this odd flurry of mythical animals being voted for one night. i think the survey hit a corner of fandom that leans that way. there was also dragon, another chimera, a griffon, and a lindworm all at the same rough time)

Magpies are great because they’re cute and fluff themselves up (go look at Sophie the magpie) and like hoarding their favorite things but also I’ve watched one just straight up kill another bird before because corvids are sneaky little bastards with no lack of a mean streak if they’re crossed

It’s the duolingo owl, I’m so sorry op but it just is. I genuinely don’t mean to clown on your post, but this take was delivered to me in a sleep induced haze and I believe it’s the god given truth. Demon Aziraphale WOULD try to make you learn a dead language and he’d go about it in a vaguely threatening way (comment from op, you’re so fucking right dude. also, shit like this is made for clowning, i’m with you 100%)

When choosing a demon aspect for a Aziraphale, I usually tried to keep in mind the artistic tradition of which animals are linked with demons. The Good Omens team seems to have drawn inspiration from that source because all the animals we do see are either reptilian or insectoid. Those species were often shown inhabiting hellish landscapes in Renaissance and Baroque paintings. However, Aziraphale never struck me as cold or slimy or hard like an exoskeleton. So if I had to choose an insect, it would be a moth, preferably a Megalopygidae, also known as the Flannel Moth. They are fluffy, white-beige and look innocent and fluffy, but their larvae can cause painful inflammations. A poodle moth would also fit because it's almost pure white.

Ok so the only reason I pick magpie is because those bastards are smart as hell but also know how and when to inconvenience the shit out of you, and if you gain their trust then they're absolute darlings but if they decide "nah, dont like ya" then you're basically done and you'll wake up every morning with shit on your car window. I also chose sheep/ram cuz I mean... idk it suits him. I don't remember my other choice but I'm sure I had a good reason.

I feel like a barn owl would suit him well but I'm not really sure why, I also think that a moth would suit him really well because of the whole "moth to a flame" thing and as a demon he would have gotten burned because of that attitude.

I write a reverse AU fic called Lambs to the Slaughter where Aziraphale's demonic aspect is an albino sheep! I imagine him as a mix between a wild Argali ram and the first woolly domestics. I chose an Argali because they're the largest species of wild sheep, but I wanted him to have traits of a domestic breed because he obtains his animal aspect from a sheep in Abel's flock which would be several generations down from the original wild species in Eden. I really think a sheep suits Aziraphale! They're an incredibly common animal and have been since they were first domesticated. Likewise, since the start of human history, Aziraphale has been living side-by-side with humans, providing for them, and protecting them. Due to how common they are, sheep are often unnoticed, which Aziraphale leans into. Crowley wants to stand out. He has a dedicated aesthetic and an obsession with human invention, where Aziraphale leans more towards simpler, known things and creature comforts. He fades into the background, and that suits him fine. He doesn't have to be outstanding to Heaven or to humans or even to Crowley -- it's enough to do his part, to trust in a bigger plan. People associate sheep (especially lambs) with innocence or ignorance which foils nicely to Crowley as the serpent tempting with knowledge, as well as with Aziraphale's own sharp mind and ongoing embers of faith in a system that is failing him, Crowley, and all of humanity. Sheep are, like Aziraphale, soft, cute, and hiding a hard-headed stubbornness and a surprising strength that makes them absolutely fearsome. Aziraphale is very much the sort to put his head down and push relentlessly forward regardless of the pressure and strain. Rams in particular have thick skulls to withstand the brutal force of headbutting one another in displays of dominance. While Aziraphale is clever, he's not above rolling up his sleeves and getting the job done, as messy and unpleasant as it might be (see: pulling a gun on the Antichrist). Also sheep are associated with Pan, a god associated with food, music, theatre, and the criticism thereof, which hit many of Aziraphale's personal interests and hobbies! I like the idea that in a reverse AU, the demon formerly named Aziraphale might be the original basis for Pan!

I wrote in Orangutan for the first question because if I remember correctly they are some of the most violent apes. Although I'd accept bonobo for him too. They fuck alll the time.

mothman aziraphale,,,,, thats it

Snowy owl, speremint's tortoise, and I just adore the goat.

moth - dusty and eats books

Long Furby the way Loni-Capri draws it.

I keep thinking about that Black Philip quote "doest thou wish to live deliciously" because... it fits so much with the general epicurean/hedonism vibe the Fandom has for him ... but in a demonic way and also I think a lot abt that art piece (already referenced many times probably but what the hell) of him climbing his own bookshelves, it's just so good!!

Albino Lion/white lion (matches his hair).  I feel like maybe I should explain why I think Lion would fit him best, lol. Lions actually are rather sedate, inactive for 20 hours of the day (see: Aziraphale reading and unmoving- yes I pulled wiki for this to make sure I didn't spout anything terribly wrong, shhh)  but also there's nomad lions. Lions that range widely and move around sporadically either alone or in pairs (*looks at Crowley after apoconope*) (pairs are more frequent among males who have been excluded from their birth pride)  but also I think of lions as protectors, defenders, and what is Aziraphale if not that? If not an angel who fiercely protects humans, crowley, earth? (When he finally overcomes heaven and it's abuse) lions don't hunt unless they're hungry, don't attack unless they're defending. They've been known to sit directly next to jeeps full of people and just watch them, not attacking or being aggresive.

I saw art once (I have no idea who the artist is) of Demon!Aziraphale climbing his bookcases like a goat and absentmindedly chewing on his sweater while he reads. I felt like the goat aspect suited him perfectly.

Honestly I wrote Az with a rat aspect because, well, it fits who I see demon Az as. He's not super powerful but he is very consequential, like rats carrying plague fleas (this also describes how I see Az tempting). He tries to blend into a crowd, which is arguably one way rats survive, and can get himself into places/situations that should be impossible or super difficult. Like snakes, rats have been unfairly maligned by our culture for a long time, even though they are very social with their colonies, smart, affectionate, and generally good beans. Finally, male pet rats are known far and wide as the lazier of the sexes while the girls are super curious and adventurous.

Somehow his tartan pattern becomes either his colour scheme or his coat/feather pattern.

Eurasian eagle owl. A big, unapologetic grump of an owl that is soft as soft can be underneath. Possessor of the glare to end all glares to be used in such dire situations as being interrupted when reading or being told one has "had enough cake".

[aerynwrites]

Protector - Din Djarin x Reader

Author’s Note: I loved writing this so much, ngl, however i feel like i may have lost my edge when it comes to angst. Idk it’s probably me just being overly critical of myself as usual...but anyways i hope you guys enjoy this! It’s kinda darker than my more recent stuff but I freaking love angst so, here ya go lol. Enjoy and as always I love to hear from you all! <3

Requested? Yes! based on: Could you possibly do an angsty/little fluffy Mando x reader where their ship is attacked unexpectedly and Mando does everything he can to protect the reader but they both end up being taken and she's going to get tortured but he offers to get tortured instead to save her? Possibly loss of limb if you're up to it? Reader blames herself for what happened to him but he would rather he be hurt instead of her. (requested by anon).

Word count: 2.5k

Warnings: ANGST, mentions of death, fear of death, blood, mentions of torture (not descriptive really), injuries, kidnapping, and fluff.

////

You had been traveling with the Mandalorian for almost two years now. You had been with him since before the child, and you were still with him now. As expected, the Mandalorian didn’t take to you at first. He kept his distance, only talked when necessary, and was very short with you when he did speak. However, after finding the child, his walls seemed to come down little by little and eventually you both wormed your way into each other’s hearts.

Starting a relationship with the Mandalorian was a learning curve for both of you. You had to do things a little differently than usual, but you made it work, and you had never been happier. Then the day came when Din had completed his mission of finding the child’s species, and he did the right thing, no matter how much it hurt him. After leaving the child with his people, he was once again closed off, but he told you many times that having you there made the ordeal and heartbreak much easier than if he was alone. He rested his helmet against your forehead and for the first time, told you how much he loved you, and he truly meant it. He had never felt this deep and unyielding love for anyone since his parents died, not even the child. But he loved everything about you: your smile, your hair, the way you poked your tongue out when your concentrated on something. But most of all, he loves the fact that you have never once asked him what was under his helmet. Once he had explained what it meant to remove it and why he couldn’t you immediately accepted it and continued on, no matter how curious you may be. You accepted him for who he was, not what he looked like or any other physical aspects of him. And he knew that he would do anything in the galaxy to protect you and keep you safe.

Until he couldn’t.

It had all happened to fast. The two of you were docked on a planet to get fuel and supplies, a regular routine for the both of you, when a group of storm troopers and other humans stormed the mechanical bay you had landed the ship in. You had been outside speaking with the mechanic when it happened, and before Din could even get a shot off one of the troopers had you locked in his grasp, a blaster held to you head while the others all had their weapons aimed at him.

“You shoot us, we shoot the girl,” one of the men said, “We have you severely out numbered, and all we want is information. Just come with us, tell us what we need to know, and you will be on your merry way.”

Obviously neither you or Din believed a word out of his mouth, but as Din looked at the ten men surrounding him and the one trooper holding onto you, he for once, didn’t see another way out. Not a way where you survive anyway, and he couldn’t risk that. So, Din cautiously lowered his weapon and nodded at them, causing your eyes to widen.

“Din no! What are you-“ but before you could finish, another trooper standing next to you roughly rammed the but of his rifle into the side of your head, rendering you unconscious.

Din felt his blood boil and he immediately raised his blaster to retaliate, but a quick shot and a mean pinch to his upper arm stopped him in his tracks. He quickly looked down to his right arm and saw a small feathered canister lodged into his arm.

A tranquilizer. before he could take another step or rip the device from his arm the world around him went black and the last thing he saw was your limp body being hoisted into the arms of one of the imps.

* * *

Din woke with a start, the first thing he noticed was that he was in a cell, and the second being your small form curled into his side, asleep. His sudden movement at waking must have disturbed you because you peeled your eyes open and bolted upright when you saw him move.

“Oh my stars, Din!” you cried wrapping your arms around his neck in a vice grip, “I didn’t think you were gonna wake up, I was so scared.” By now you were crying again, fresh tears covering the old ones that had dried on your face.

“I’m not going anywhere, I’m fine,” he gently placed his gloved hands on the side of your face and he finally saw the damage they caused.

Your hair was caked in dry blood, most likely from the earlier blow, but you also had new injuries. A busted lip and a darkening bruise over your left cheek.

“What did they do?” Din seethed, finger ghosting over the bruise.

You shook your head, “They want to know where we took the kid Din, they came in here to take you but-“ you paused holding back more tears, as your voice cracked, “but I wouldn’t let them. I couldn’t let them take you.” you were sobbing now, as you rested your face in the space between his helmet and shoulder.

“They’re going to kill us Din, we’re going to die.” You whimpered, voice thick with tears.

Din’s heart sunk as he listened to your words. He could hear the fear, the sadness, and for the first time since he was a child, he too felt a twinge of fear wash over his very soul. As he looked down at your shaking form he felt the fear weigh down his every limb at the thought of losing you. The thought of dying without getting to live his life with you, without getting to marry you and start a family with you…it made Din hold you tighter against him as the reality of the situation sunk in. They had stripped him of his weapons and armor, save his helmet, and locked you both in a cell. Din had never felt so helpless.

“We’re not-“ Din paused, debating on if he should make a promise he can’t keep, “We’re not going to die, I promise.”

His modulated voice, the voice you had grown so familiar with and attached too, somewhat eased your fears, but you knew his words were empty. Despair had settled itself in your mind and you were not hopeful of a happy outcome. The only way out of the cell was by force, which neither of you possessed without Din’s weapons, or a key card that only the guards had. You clung tighter to the him, and buried your face deeper into him, as if trying to hide from the terrible future that awaited you both.

Neither of you spoke for the next few moments. Opting instead for the comfort of silence and each others breathing. Din was absentmindedly running his hand up and down your back in some attempt to comfort you, while you were toying with the hair peaking from under his helmet at the nape of his neck. Your small moment of peace was interrupted by the hiss of the cell door opening, and you buried your head as far as it would go into Din’s neck, terrified to look at the two people who entered the room. You felt Din’s arms tighten around you protectively and you heard the voices chuckle before two rough hands grabbed your arms ripping you from Din’s grasp.

“No, no, no – please! Din!” new tears were pouring down your face as you fought against the troopers grasp, flailing your limps in a vain attempt to escape them. Fear gripping your heart at the thought of what awaited you outside of that cell door. In between your panicked movements you saw Din jump from his seated position and quickly lunge at one of the troopers. A well aimed hit to the exposed area of his neck had the trooper stumbling backwards but he was quick to regain his feet and kick Din behind the knee, dropping him to one knee and pointing his blaster at his chest.

“Not so tough without your armor and weapons are you?” the trooper seethed before jerking his head towards the door, telling the one holding you it was time to go.

“Stop – Wait!” Din’s voice stopped the troopers in their spot as well as caused you to cease your struggle against them once more.

“Take me.” He said firmly standing to his feet once more, “She doesn’t know anything, just please-“ his voice cracked slightly as he looked from you to the two troopers, “take me.”

Your breathing was erratic from the struggle and the panic still coursing through you as you watched the two troopers look at one another momentarily before roughly shoving you back into the cell. You stumbled into Din and he steadied you with his hands on your upper arms, you looked up at him giving him a fearful gaze.

“Please don’t go Din,” you beg quietly.

Din just gives your arm a light squeeze and pressed his helmet against your forehead, “I’ll be back,”  his hands fall down to yours and you faintly feel him place a small cool object in your hand, “I love you.”

You couldn’t even respond before the troopers were yanking Din out of the room, the door closing with a final clang. The moment their footsteps faded from your earshot you collapsed to the floor in a heap. You had stayed there for several minutes just crying and trying to push the horrible images of your imagination from your mind when you remembered the object still clutched in your hand. Your tears had finally ceased, most likely because you had no more tears to shed, and you sniffled quietly as you opened your hand. You had to hold back the sob from ripping from your throat as you looked down at the familiar necklace in your hand. It was the necklace he received from the Mandalorians, their crest. You knew the finality behind his action of giving this to you, and it just made you shake harder as you curled into a ball and fell into an exhausted fitful sleep.

* * *

A commotion of yelling and various grunts and exclamations startled you awake, it seemed to be a habit now, startling awake that is. You quickly sat up, pulling you knees to your chest as you heard what sounded like a fight or struggle outside the door, before they hissed open and a strange man was shoved into your cell. He fell to his hands and knees at the force the troopers used and you just sat in the corner casting a bewildered stare from the stranger to the now closing cell door. The man in the room didn’t say anything and you took the moment to take in his appearance. He had dark hair that was obviously disheveled by whatever had happened to him. He only wore pants, everything else having been stripped from him including his shirt. Your eyes then immediately fell to the angry red and scabbed over gashes on his back and arms, and your heart sunk at the realization of what had happened to this man.

Din, that happened to Din? Who was this?

You quickly stood from your place and ran to the cell doors banging on them frantically. It had been hours, possibly even days since the troopers took Din from your cell and now they just throw this stranger in here?

“Where is he?” you call, tears threatening to fall once more, “Where is Din, what did you do to him?” you cry, fist still banging against the door.

“Hey!” one of the guards bark, “Shut up. We just put him back in there. Won’t be long before you’re next.”

Your eyes widen at the Storm troopers words, and you slowly turned to face the man behind you, still on his knees and head bent in shame. You felt like you were paralyzed to the spot, unable to will your legs to carry you over to Din, the man you loved, who you were so sure was dead. Then you felt relief flood through your veins as you rush over and fall on your knees in front of him, hands grasping desperately at his neck and shoulders.

“Din?” you gasp.

The man doesn’t speak he just nods his head, avoiding your gaze as he looks down at the floor beneath you. You then feel tears fall from your eyes once more as you realize that you caused this. His mutilation, his pain, his dignity and his very way of life being stripped away from him.

They took off his helmet.

You instantly rest your head in the crook of his neck and let your hands fall to his hips, the only place not covered in whip lashes and cuts.

“I’m so sorry Din, this is all my fault,” you say tears falling onto his tanned skin, “Why did you do that? Why?” you pulled away from him now hands finally coming to rest on the sides of his face.

And even though you know you shouldn’t be seeing him, you are instantly aware of just how handsome and beautiful Din is under the helmet.

But you shake your head, “I’m so sorry they did this to you, I wish they would have taken me.”

At this comment his eyes finally looked up from the floor and his gaze met yours for the first time. And the look of anguish and shame in his eyes melted away as he looked into your misty (E/C) eyes. Then he brought his hands up to cup your cheeks and brought you in for a gentle yet fierce kiss. The first one you two had ever shared.

He pulled away what felt like too quickly as he pulled you into an even fiercer hug, ignoring the injuries on his arms and back, “I couldn’t let them take you. Not since I knew what they could do to you,” he pulls away and grasps your face in his hands once more pressing his forehead against yours, skin to skin, “My job is to protect you, no matter the cost.”

Your lip wobbled at his heartfelt words and you had to stop more tears from falling as your eyes fell shut, “I love you so much,” you say for what felt like the millionth time, “I just wish we could’ve had a life, a true and long life, together.” You admitted.

“Hey,” his voice along with his face pulling away from yours made you open your eyes, “We can still do that,” he assured reaching into the waist band of his pants and pulling out the all familiar key card to the cell.

Your eyes widened as you looked at the card then back up to his face, his eyes filled with determination, and you felt a smile creep onto your lips.

“I told you we weren’t going to die, didn’t I?” he whispered.

He did indeed.

And you knew the minute you saw that card that he would keep his promise

////

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