#i was just thinking about the tripods and how they compare to things like the giver

[incomingalbatross]

Nowadays people feel like they have to come up with all these convoluted labyrinthine rationales of terribleness for their YA Dystopian Protagonists to grow up with, and back in the 60s John Christopher was just like "what if aliens came to Earth generations ago and stole humanity's free will" and knocked it out of the park with the Tripod trilogy.

[catboybiologist]

Hey, transfem who has only started to like her body about half a year ago here

As someone who takes a lot of pictures of themselves, do you have any resources/tips for angles or something that accentuates feminine features?

Also in regards to having a somewhat normal facial expression, like my eyes look so weird in every picture I take bc I don't know where to look

This response ended up WAY longer than I expected, and I think Imma add it to my pinned post- thanks for pushing me to talk about this! I don't think I'm really an expert here, but if people want to leave more advice in reblogs and comments, please do.

So when I say "I had two years of femboy experience before transferring to the related (and potentially overlapping) but separate field of trans womanhood" I'm only like... half joking. Selfie angles took a fucking wild amount of time for me to figure out, and guess what? The pictures I post are usually 1-3 in a set of about 20 that I take at any given time. I'm still unhappy with most pictures I take, you just gotta take a lot of them, and figure out for yourself.

That said, I think I have gotten a lot better over time. Behold, the first selfie I posted on reddit (warning for kinda cringe but I know y'all fuck with that):

(Damn, my thighs look good when I properly shave, gotta do that sometime)

(btw I'm 23 in this pic so feel free to simp if you so desire)

And another early one:

This was still selected from a bunch that were horrible, but you can really tell that my face is basically just covered in fabric entirely. My eyes look very dead in both. Compare that to:

^this one is still pre-transition, so don't blame the estrogen.

So what are my specific tips? Well, the classic "selfie angle" is from above. This angle certainly helps, but why? Personally I've found that its far less about angles are far more about lighting. Since most lighting is overhead, taking selfies from above means that you'll have a well lit face in those standard lighting conditions. Notice that in both the early selfies and the later one, the camera is actually positioned below my height level, and there's still a noticeable facial difference between them. The reason this is possible is good, forward lighting. Generally, you want a soft light source to be vaguely behind the camera, shining onto your face- but make sure its not too close, or too bright. This will ensure that harsh shadows don't artificially make your features look much different than they actually are.

Another thing that cannot be understated: DISTANCE between yourself and the camera, especially if you're using a phone camera. There are several reasons for this- notably, it'll help make the background be framed more pleasantly, as well as prevent the camera/phone itself from shadowing your face. But there's also a massive, insidious reason this happens- all phone cameras have some degree of fisheye to their lens to increase the field of view while still using compact optics. Multiple lens have helped a bit, but its still a problem on all of them. Higher end phones will algorithmically correct for this, but they also add a TON of other postprocessing "beautification" in ways that are sometimes completely invisible (insert entire rant here about how this is a deceptive marketing tactic to make a brands phone cameras seem better than they actually are). Sometimes, these edits are way off base. But I digress. The fisheye is killer because it takes any slightly more prominent feature and bulges them out, including the nose and chin. Conversely, recessed features, like eyes and the sides of your cheeks, are going to be less emphasized. Moving further away from the camera significantly reduces this. If you can get a small phone tripod and take selfies that way, it'll alleviate this. Unfortunately my living space is not large atm, and I have less motivation to bother my roommates in the common areas and use their hallways for picture taking, so this has been a little lacking in more recent selfies. It's also just a lot of work for a couple quick selfies, so its hard to do right- but it genuinely makes a world of difference.

Otherwise, my advice about eyes would be that your eyes show your overall facial expression, even if you're covering your mouth. Most of my pictures are taken while smiling slightly under the mask, and it shows in the eyes. If I want a scarier looking picture, I'm stone faced or deliberately make my entire face angrier, and you end up with the "glaring directly down the camera wanting to kill you" face. Referring to the pictures I just posted- the first two are both dead faced under the mask, whereas in the last one, I'm doing a smug, sultry smirk. The eyes then reflect that.

Don't focus on specifically trying to open your eyes wider. Change your facial expression and just let them be how they want to be in relation to that. Eye position should fully commit to looking straight into the camera, or be fully distracted with something else, imo (including the screen of your phone, if you're doing something like a mirror selfie). If you're taking a mirror selfie, look at the camera lens as it's reflected in the mirror. A HUGE takeaway is that cameras, especially phone cameras, straight up lie to you. They don't work the same way as the human eye, and have to compensate for that- but they'll never be a completely faithful representation of what you look like. Don't let your ego be affected by how you look in pictures, when all is said and done.

And of course, experiment, experiment, experiment! Figure out the lighting you can get in the space you have available, and the angles that work for you! Don't be afraid to delete selfies you don't like! Show off your style and your features in the way you want to! There are no rules for what's attractive, this is just what I do and you should develop your own style!

I guess I'll take this with both femboy and trans tags bc the selfies are pre-HRT

[blackbackedjackal]

sorry if this is a stupid question but ever sense you mentioned it a few days ago I've been wondering.

How much physical strength does taxidermy take? like, is it something any reasonably able bodied person could do or is there some strength training needed for the bigger critters?

So taxidermy itself isn't too straining if you're only interested in doing mounting. The forms are light weight and unless you're trying to mount a big game animal so anyone reasonably able bodied can defiantly get into it. The sewing, tugging, and tucking work is going to be more difficult than anything, and that's more strain on your hands, tendons, and forearms then overall body strength.

Animal processing is different, but again it depends on what you work on and what processes you do. I'd say the average person who's never done anything can handle skinning most small animals. Once you step into the 20-25lb territory is when things can get a bit straining.

All my strength training came from just doing the labor. A 5gal bucket full of water weighs about 42lbs and those are what I used for maceration. I used to have to hold the handle with both hands to move them around but after about a 8 months or so I was able to grab them one-handed and carry them for at least a few hundred feet. I personally consider any animal heavy if I can't lift it one-handed. That used to be anything around 15-20lbs, but now is anything over 40lbs after working for so long.

Breaking in hides after tanning them also takes a good amount of forearm strength. You need to be able to pull the leather in all directions as well as sand and shave it to make it soft. With smaller animals this isn't much of an issue, but larger ones require a decent amount of strength. I don't know of a good exercise to compare it to, but imagine you're trying to stretch a t-shirt to twice the size of what it is. That's kinda the same motion and amount of strength you would need, and again, varies on the size of the animal.

The good news is there's a ton of tools and equipment that can help with working on larger projects. I have issues with the tendons in my thumbs from doing animal processing without the use of these tools for many years, so I highly recommend them if you want to get into it on a professional or high-production level. They've saved a lot of strain on my hands and arms and make every process more efficient.

I use a skinning tripod with a gambrel to skin anything over 10lbs so the hardest part is turning the crank to hang up the animals. The rig can hold up to about 250lbs, and I don't think I've worked on anything over 50-60lbs. Tanning is far easier with tools like a wire wheel flesher. It basically does all the scrubbing for you so long as you get the right size wheel for the hide and can lift up the hide you're cleaning for several minutes at a time. I usually lay the part of the hide I'm not working on across the edge of the table and then work my way down the hide instead of holding it. I've also invested in some other things like belt sanders and shaving wheels, but those are more niche tools for working on large animals or ones with with thicker skin. Unless you're working on a lot of raccoons, coyotes, or deer they're not really necessary. The right sized wire wheel can handle most animals. A good fleshing beam and fleshing knife will also help ton. With the right angled beam and the right blade it's easy to push all the raw fat and skin off a hide without having to put a lot of physical strain into it (and good fleshing practices at the beginning saves you time in the later processes like when using the wire wheel).

All in all, if you can reasonable lift about 20lbs you can do most taxidermy and small animal processing. You're also able to sit down for many of these processes if you can't stand for long periods of time. Don't work on something you're not certain you can handle, and don't overexert yourself. You can pause at pretty much any point during the process and come back to it, so there's no real rush to get things done. It's a much more accessible hobby and profession than it seems, you just have to know your limits!

[passiveagressiveukulele]

Who's afraid of 1080p?

Last semester we walked away from the test shoot with two technical concerns - is my Canon C100's 1080p enough or should we opt for a 4k camera and how do we get a sturdier slider, that will still be just as easy to transport.

The 1080p resolution and a bad slider are in a symbiotic relationship - if the slider is janky and unreliable, the footage will have to be stabilised in post, resulting in cropping which reduces the quality. So really only one of the variables needs changed - either we get a 4k camera or a better slider.

Paul suggested testing out the Sony FX6, which I used previously and am pretty comfortable with. Not to be that YouTube bro though, when compared to the colours Canon gives straight out of the camera, Sony is just oversaturated and too high contrast for me. And in theory, this shouldn't be a concern because, hey, colour grading is a thing, but in my case, being the project's DoP and editor I know I won't have the energy to spend countless hours grading the footage to get the look that my Canon delivers. I'm expecting to spend 3-4 weeks editing the film on top of the two weeks that I will be shooting it in Poland. I'm aware I won't get much, if any time to step back from looking at the images I captured if grading requires just that - a rest for the eyes. Nonetheless, there is no harm in giving Sony a go and trying some of the push ins in the edit. Katie wanted to try the camera out herself for Saint Catherines so we joined forces and I had the pleasure of working with the best cinematographer model in the game :))

Colours aside, I think this test really solidified the fact that the slider was the culprit all along - not the camera resolution. The push-ins in post really aren't what we're going for, as they merely work as zooms. Sliding the camera on a tripod means that the background, foreground and middle-ground are moving silmoutaneously, and there is a potential for panning too. On top of that, the kit store only has one E mount zoom lens for the FX6 and I would prefer to work with primes, as I would have more F stop range. Between myself and Natalia we have all the lenses we could possibly need and given the film's more abstract style, I know we will need lenses that can open up more than F4.0.

So having diagnosed the real issue, the question remains - how do we go about the slider? The kit store slider was definitely not going across the border. I spoke to Andrew and he offered his old slider for me to test out, but sadly couldn't find it in the end. Back at square one I started toying with the idea of making my own slider.

Down the YouTube rabbit hole I went, choosing between the pvc pipes, dolly wheels and many, manyyyy screws. Hours later I thought. - might just be easiest to buy a second hand slider, so down the Facebook marketplace/ebay rabbit hole I went. After having compared the prices I concluded the best way to move forward is to find a healthy medium.

On my morning stroll across Bruntsfield, a piece of metal perfect for the slider found me - it was meant to be! I'm pretty sure it was once part of a clothes drying rack, but in its broken state it only had two metal pipes connected on either side by metal rectangles I could drill into and mount onto a tripod.

I knew I couldn't build a ball head for the tripod so might as well order one off Amazon and return if it's not adequate. Whilst scrolling I came across Neewer's skater dolly and upon inspecting it I noticed its width was perfect for the width of my makeshift slider. And given I opted for my camera which is much lighter than any other cinema camera, the dolly head could support it. Sometimes the universe just looks after you... If the budget allows, I'd also like to order this bad boi (yes, the YouTube bro got to me):

My prediction is that I will be changing set-ups on the go, during takes, and having a dolly which is just an extension of the tripod would mean I could easily slide from one corner of the room to the other, without causing too much disturbance. Based on the photos of Natalia's grandparents' home, it seems like all the floors are wooden and this tripod dolly could glide smoothly across the rooms, allowing me more fluid movement than the slider. While the slider can only go left-right, forward-backward, with this dolly I could go in semicircles if necessary. And just like that - my Amazon search was complete and order placed. I will burn in hell like the filthy capitalist that I am.

Once the evil goods have turned up on my doorstep it was time to turn to a man for help. My boyfriend studies sculpture at ECA and has access to metal work so he offered to create walls for the slider that could further stabilise the dolly head. He added pieces of felt to make it more smooth sailing too (and a smiley face because what's a slider without a smiley face). He was also able to drill the holes on either side so I can mount the cheese plates on the slider and secure it between two sliders.

Here's Adam, myself and our baby Janusz (yes we named the slider after Natalia's grandpa). Definitely sturdier than what we used for the test shoot, much longer and equally as transportable, I feel confident in saying Janusz is built for the task ahead. I only wish I had more hands to help me assemble him when we're there...

[kinesitoursandsafari]

Itinerary Ideas For Tanzania Safari Tours - Things You Need To Know!

Description: A handy guide for Tanzania safari preparation will help you understand what to do and not to, one week before your trip. Itinerary ideas for safaris Tanzania, at a glance!

Safari is truly a touch of the exotic! Where humans first stepped foot in this earth! If you are a bushy-tailed first-timer or you are a bright-eyed, versed explorer then Safaris Tanzania can’t fail to enchant you.

Let’s assume you are a globetrotter. You are very much interested in taking a safari or planning for one of the best Tanzania safari tours. First of all, congratulation, because you are going to have a great trip, and a safari in Tanzania is an awesome idea!

Safaris Tanzania can also be called a “game drive”. Yes, it is an amazing opportunity to see the mesmerising wildlife up close, not in a zoo for sure, but in their natural habitat!

Assuming, you are taking Tanzania safari preparation. Below in this blog, we are about to discuss many important things, like things to discover, why Tanzania well known for, best time to visit Tanzania, and lot more things.

We will talk about luxury and budget safaris, as well as ideal length of safari, especially one week before your Tanzania trip. We will give you some itinerary ideas that are suitable for honeymooners, couples and adventurous travellers or anybody dreaming for an unforgettable safari experience. Read on to know more!

Why Choose A Safari In Tanzania?

If you are seeking for other options, let us tell you why you should think about Tanzania safari tours. It deserves your attention. Tanzania is less crowded and more affordable compared to other African countries. It is a country, where you can see the Great Wildebeest Migration throughout the year. Also, you can combine with a great beach getaway. If you like adventure, then you can top it off with a Kilimanjaro hike. Many people do it.

You can make the trip a perfectly planned vacation in three week, combining a separate active, learning and relaxing part to it. In order to make your Tanzania trip smooth and hassle free, you can hire a Tanzania travel guide, which will help you make a perfect vacation over there.

How to Prepare For a Safari?

To get the food you eat, shelter you like and safari experience you dreamt of, you need to research for your trip. You might have a question how do I prepare for Tanzania one week before my trip or you just want to know how to prepare for a safari. Here is a thorough list to consider.

Needless to mention, a safari vacation in Tanzania or any part of the Africa is probably the organized trip you will ever get.

·Visas & Cash

 Before you embark on to the destination of your safari, it is important to check what visas you need. You can buy visa prior to your trip after getting confirmation of your hotel or campsite booking. You need to have a letter of invitation to visit in some countries that is provided by your Tour Company or hotel. Ensure you do a little bit of research on official websites before you leave.

 In a remote safari site, you will be travelling small, rural villages. You hardly get to see bakeries, grocery shops or cash machines there. If you are travelling to Tanzania, then your Tanzania travel guide and itinerary will help you in planning cash stops. A few cash and card is good to carry throughout the safari journey.

 Photography

To make your safari the best Safari in Tanzania, you need a zoom lens. If you don’t have one, it would be worth to buy one or hire before you go. You shouldn’t forget to pack memory cards to back up your pictures. Photography is not all about the animals, tress or birds. You can also capture the moments you spend by a fire or enjoying a warm drink. It’s better to carry a travel tripod to capture the beauty of the nature.

Packing Essentials

When you travel for a safari, you need to know what the environment and season will be there. In Africa, you will observe a hugely diverse weather. You may experience cold lows, hot highs or ever-changing weather forecasts, so packing layers is important. You may feel different weather while camping in Tanzania National parks. It would be better if you carry some waterproof layers, hats and sunglasses. You can arm your pack with camera, chargers, batteries and some clothes that you need.

Things to discover in Tanzania

Africa’s most famous natural attractions and natural parks are situated in Tanzania, including Mount Kilimanjaro. Safaris and wildlife-related adventures are the things for which many people visit the country. The great number of visitors will find themselves heading out to the wilderness places and passing through Dar es Salaam, and other destinations. It is a great country for those who like to spend some time with friends or family soaking up the sun, the mesmerizing beaches of Zanzibar beckon.

Scuba drivers and snorkelers who come in this country from all around appreciated Pemba and Mafia islands is another natural wonder. You can also experience the crystal clear water, coral gardens and colourful fish. Discover Mount Kilimanjaro, Africa's highest peak, about 5,895 m and Tanzania's most iconic image. Visit at Serengeti National Park. It is a vast treeless plain with many hundreds of thousands animals living there and sometimes passing through in search of fresh grasslands.

Explore the island of Zanzibar, part of the Zanzibar archipelago, some of the best beaches in the world. Visit Ngorongoro conservation area. It is home to most attractive volcanic Ngorongoro Crater, also a most popular wildlife viewing areas in Tanzania. Generally, visitors come here to see large animals and birds. Also the place of interest is the Olduvai Gorge. This essential archeological site has revealed primitive skull and bone fragments.

You should visit Lake Manyara National Park. The park is comprised of grasslands, forest, woodland and swamps. Here, you get to see elephants, hippos, lions, including baboons the home of the largest concentration here at this park. Here, at Tanzania, you see twenty two national parks that cover all but 15 percent of the land area that mandated to conserve and manage the wildlife in the country. Nyerere National Park is the Largest National Park in Tanzania.

At Tanzania, you should visit Pemba Island. It is beautiful and beyond description. Actually, Pemba is less visited compared to Zanzibar, as a result has a laidback atmosphere. You should visit stone town, Selous game reserve, Arusha national park, including other Tanzania National parks, like Ruaha, Gombe stream, Katavi, and more.  

There are many places to visit in Tanzania, but here we will conclude after Lake Victoria. It’s the largest freshwater lake in entire Africa, and is bordered by Kenya, Tanzania and Uganda. It is a less visited place, but you can visit there to drink the beauty of freshwater lake. To make your safari trip in Tanzania hassle free, smooth and easy, a Tanzania travel guide can be your best friend.

Tanzania Safari Packages

On an average, a safari trip to Tanzania costs around 200 US dollars per day, per person. The midrange price goes around 300 to 350 USD and the luxury price is around 650 USD per person, per day. We have given an average cost. It will vary from tour company to company. Not to worry at all! Getting the affordable Tanzania safari packages is easy when you contact with a trusted travel outfitter. They will help you create a fully bespoke trip.

 Best Time to Visit Tanzania

The best time to visit Tanzania is during the long dry season, i.e. from July to September every year. Travellers believe these are the best months for safaris Tanzania the Great Migration, trekking as well as beach holidays in Zanzibar are just amazing during this time. Beyond doubt, July to September is the peak travel season.

How Long Should A Safari in Tanzania Be?

The ideal length of safari in Tanzania can take between five to ten days. Many travellers stay there for 2 two weeks or more depending on their wish. To ensure you hit all the top sites in the country on your safari, you need a maximum of two weeks. You can increase the number of days on your Tanzania safari packages, depend on how long you like to stay there and enjoy a specific park, place or hotel on your itinerary.

Summing It Up

No matter the destination you choose; it can be any part of the Africa, your first Tanzania safari preparation will surely be good prior to one week, if you go through the blog properly and make it step by step. Tanzania has a tropical climate. It varies by altitude and region. Your safari will be an exhilarating experience. Take on board the info, tips or tricks we have given here to enhance your preparation skills. It’s time to pack light, smart and throw in a few bucks!

[bakugohoex]

Ok, ok, here me out - I’ve got an idea for you to write. 🙌

How about the reader being a cam girl and Reiner watches her lives, and masturbates as he watches her poor abused cunt get wrecked by some fucking machines or something? And then they meet on the street somewhere, they communicate, and he just casually tells her that he watches her lives? 😗💅

Like, you don’t have to do this, butx my kinky shit self, has just been horny, lately, after reading your NSFW fics.

“hello boys and welcome to the show”

pairing: reiner braun x female reader

cw: aged up, language and nsfw (camgirl, voyeurism, female masturbation, male masturbation, male receiving oral, kissing, spit play, sucking and biting, nipple play, daddy kink, corruption kink, choking, praise, bondage (if you can call it that), unprotected sex)

word count: 4900+

a/n: bro this took me like 3 hours to do what the fuck, i’m sorry as soon as i saw this request i had a need to do it, i swapped out the machine part for like a vibrator dildo cause i didn’t feel comfortable writing about machines lmao, hope you guys enjoy this piece of shittary, i’m going bed

summary: in which reiner has an infatuation with cam girl y/n, after one of her shows he finds himself meeting her, revealing her secret, y/n finds gratitude by giving reiner exactly what he’s wanted since watching her

↞ back to attack on titan masterlist

A white robe encased your skin, the silk against your hairless body and the matching lingerie underneath, cupping your breasts and just skimming past your cunt. The camera flashed indicated it was on, it sat directly in front of the bed against the tripod with the ring light attached to it. The website was up in a matter of minutes, licking your lips you could almost taste the viewership that was about to join, all the money and gifts they had to give for your pretty show.

You tapped your finger along your keyboard, the stream starting at exactly 10pm, the rich men coming to see their fancy, the broke students needing something to satisfy them or the men who just wanted to see you and imagine that the show was just for them. A soft ribbon mask sat to the side of your desk, you stared at it hearing the clock tick away, the black coating the mask, with your mouth on show but your eyes behind the holes.

Undoing your hair, letting it fall onto your body you took a deep breathe, plastering the mask securely around your face. You let the robe open up, the tattoo that cascaded down your side on show, the smaller ones behind your ear and even the one on your ring finger was on show. But what man would notice these small intricate details, what man would drift their eyes away from your cunt to your neck or fingers. No man would, you were just a show, a show that they paid for to pleasure them when their girlfriends couldn’t.

Your alarm went off and in a matter of seconds the camera lighted red with the live show beginning. Taking a sharp breath you walked from the monitor screen, the comments flooding through to show yourself, to do what they wanted. Taking a sharp breath you knelt on the bed, your body being the only thing they could see across the white sheets.

Nobody would ever think the sweet Y/n was a cam girl, and who would you be the girl next door type, you’d find a boyfriend and live in a white picket fence neighbourhood. You were nothing like that, your knees beginning to part as the money and gifts flooded through the chat.

“Hello boys and welcome to the show.” You smirked out, the sound of your voice bringing in multiple comments and requests. “Thank you @babydolly/n for the gift, you want me to take this off.” You spoke sweetly putting up the presentation of a sweetheart.

Slowly taking the robe away from your body, the bra cupping your breasts and the underwear on show as your legs were now a part. “What should I do next Daddy?” You spoke to the viewers, an innocent yet seductive tone coming from your mouth.

More comments flooded through, wanting you to strip alongside with money and gifts. Thanking them you slowly unclipped your bra, letting your breasts perk up of being free from confinement. “My nipples are already so hard, daddy, I think I’ve been a bad girl.”

It was an act, an act that paid well and with more comments flooding through to touch and play with your tits. You had to comply, it was an income that you appreciated a lot, even with sleazy men on the other side you didn’t care. You wanted the money, the success of being a cam girl without an identity. You were known, yet so alone.

On the other side of your show, lube in hand as his hand clamped against his cock, the slick wrapping against his hardened cock. You weren’t even naked on the screen and yet he had gotten turned on, Reiner never meant to see your show, but Connie had sent a link for cam girls for laughs and now here he was. An addict to your body, every night coming to watch you, see how you called your viewers daddy, he imagined it was just him though, hating how you were others.

You spoke again after having played with your tits; the money being sent for you to remove your underwear. You could probably sell your underwear knowing your fans, “I’m already wet for you.”

The direct line you tried to have made you a lot more popular than you had ever expected. You knew why though, every moan and every movement you made was godlike, filled with lust and passion. You spoke directly to gain money, but your actions were for yourself, to need a release.

Reiner watched your slick drip down your fingers, the action of your legs spread gave him a view of your shaved pussy. He saw how the excessive wetness dripped down into your mouth, a soft moan coming from your lips. It was music to his ears, he had been pumping his length up and down slowly, wanting to enjoy the show and gave a release by the end of it.

The action of putting your fingers in your mouth had gained you more gifts and money, even with a mass audience, barely half ever gave money having already paid to subscribe so seeing no need to give extra stuff. You didn’t care knowing that those who did pay for extra stuff were giving unnecessary amounts of money.

“What should I put in myself today, daddy?” Your body was on show, a box filled with dildo’s and vibrators was placed to your side, going from the largest ones to the smallest ones. “A rippled vibrator.” You brought out the black vibrator, it was long in length and you had rarely used it on a show but seeing as more money had come through, how could you not comply.

Reiner’s eyes widened at the sight of your put the vibrator around your lips, it wasn’t even a real cock and still your licked and sucked on it as it was. Your fingers dipping between your folds, he could imagine how perfect your mouth would be across his own cock. His motions became quicker and firmed, his cock reddening due to the overstimulation with no release.

Your moans filled the camera, the vibrator being inserted into your wet cunt, your other hand had moved to cup your breast as you had put the vibrator setting on the highest one. Feeling as you let your body straddle it. Your cunt on the camera sending a shock throughout your body, it was all for the show but even then, you could gain your own release.

With your eyes shut and your legs trembling at the feeling of the vibrator inside your sore cunt, you caught a glimpse of the comments and gifts, they wanted to see you lie down with your cunt on show.

Reiner watched as your back hit the bed, your legs wide as the camera had view of your full cunt, your thighs spread and the black vibrator between your fingers moving up and down through your thick coat of slick. His hand moved up and down faster now, he was glad his roommate wasn’t home, the groans that filled the apartment were scarily loud.

He kept his rhythm with your own movement, he watched how your finger where your tattoo was covered in slick and saliva. He had noticed it for your very first show, an initial of some sorts but your life had been private never exposing who you were. Even your name could be a fake, he knew if he ever did meet you, he wouldn’t be able to resist you.

Your back arched as you continued thrusting the vibrations into your cunt, your other fingers moved to rub at your clit. For a show it was pretty tame compared to other cam girls you had seen, yours were just you and vibrators, but some had others, even inviting fans to play their sub.

You rubbed your clit, the camera flashing across your sweaty body. The room smelt of cum and sweat, it was gross but the sound of your moans engulphed the air more. With a coil filling up inside of you, you spoke again, “can I cum daddy?”

The comments flooding through of a yes, you knew what this meant, the men were at their own limit, having watched you for the past half an hour, strip and tease them. They wanted the release they had paid for, you rubbed faster and thrusted deeper. Moaning and groaning, your cunt was on show for the whole world to cum too.

Reiner saw how you moaned much more loudly, he had noticed how your pace quickened, his own pace on his cock had gotten faster. His ability to remain constant with you was impeccable, he moaned loudly as he watched your pace and force quicken.

You moaned a “daddy.” Just as Reiner moaned your name, cum dripped away from the vibrator it fell out of your cunt and had seeped out of your cunt and onto the bed sheets. You sat upright watching as the cum stuck to your thighs, your fingers sore from having rubbed at your clit and tits.

Reiner heard your final words, cum dripping from his cock and onto his palm. He regretted sitting at his desk and doing this, his pumping stopping as his cum dripped from his fingers and onto his thighs, he turned to watch your face on the screen, how you licked your lips probably tasting your sweat and cum. He thought of how he could ruin you, he could imagine hearing you call him daddy, not on a stupid stream but in real life. “I’ll see you tomorrow, daddy.”

You gave an innocent look before ending the stream, taking a heavy breathe, you felt sore and dirty, needing a shower. You took the mask off, putting your camera away and turning the monitor off. Leaving the guest bedroom you walked towards your own bedroom, the bedroom that was your safe place. The place where you weren’t camgirl Y/n or university student Y/n, the place where you were just Y/n.

Reiner hadn’t been able to sleep since your stream, hearing you talk, your whimpers and moans, even the look of the white cum gush from your cunt intoxicated his head. He needed more, having paid a subscription to you, he had never sent comments or gifts feeling it to be what every other man did. He wasn’t like those other men, he found himself on other websites where your streams had been recorded, spending another night, pumping and cumming just at the sight of you.

His alarm blared in the early mornings, he was late, of course he was late. He had just spent the entire night watching you cum over and over again. Cumming every time you cummed, he woke up in a sweat, needing to shower but knowing he’d been even more late. He didn’t care about deciding to miss the lecture and taking a long shower. Images of the show played through his head, images of how your mouth sucked at the vibrator. His hand went to his half erect cock, imagining your plump lips in the shower suck and glide your tongue against his length.

He could imagine how your hair would get wet and how even with the mask on you were the prettiest person alive. He could imagine how your tattoos would look like your hands were behind your back, he could imagine face fucking you. The cum dripping down your lips and how you’d meet his height and whisper in his ear how much you wanted him to fuck you.

Feeling himself cum again, the white liquid dripping down the drain. He knew he had to sort himself out before his next lecture, he couldn’t stay this horny mess. Even if you were attractive, he couldn’t continue his days thinking of fucking you, he needed a distraction. He thought of getting himself out there, going on dates, hooking up with girls. But every night he’d end up back watching your shows.

“Reiner, hurry up some of us have to pee.” The sound of Bertholdt banging at the door made Reiner’s infatuation with you stop. He quickly got out, the towel slinging across his waist as he saw the droplets fall across his abs and hair. He saw the hairs across his face, he had let it grow and hadn’t bothered shaving it since he turned 20.

Bertholdt quickly ran into the bathroom closing the door as Reiner walked out, going to his room, he tidied away the tissues and made the room smell less like he had cummed multiple times. Before leaving the apartment, he hated early morning lectures as much as he hated being interrupted but here he was walking into the coffee shop where Connie had told him to meet him for their next lecture.

He stood in line needing some coffee, his tired hazel eyes looking dull and gloomy. He looked ahead focusing on his surroundings, he noticed how the entire coffee shop was packed. Students everywhere, chatting, working, drinking and eating, noticed a spare seat in front of a girl, he thought it was his best bet to get the coffee and ask to sit in front whilst he waited for Connie.

You had gotten in early to your favourite coffee shop, sitting in one of the spare tables. You got your laptop out, taking soft sips of coffee as you checked your bank account. The money flooding into your account, you almost felt bad for the men who paid for your shows, they could easily gain the same thing from Pornhub or just go out and fuck girls. But they came to you and it felt almost too good to be true at how you had gained a viewership of fans.

You heard a cough up ahead, looking up into the tall blond. You gave a slightly confused look at him, “hi, could I take this seat whilst I wait for my friend?”

“I don’t see my name on it, go ahead.” You tried making a joke with the attractive blond who gave a soft chuckle.

He felt like he recognised your voice, the way you spoke with assertion and confidence. It felt so familiar but as he watched you go back to looking at your screen. He couldn’t see anything, “the name’s Reiner.”

“Y/n.” His face fell at hearing your name, the way your eyes perked up from the screen, facing the blonde. He couldn’t speak, it couldn’t be, you couldn’t be the woman he had been infatuated with for weeks now.

“Whoever you’re waiting for seems to be late.” You check your watch, seeing how the next lot of lectures were starting in five minutes.

Reiner didn’t pay attention to your comment instead seeing the tattoo that embellished your finger. “Nice tattoo.”

“Oh thanks, I have a couple.” You spoke not bothering to show him the other, he seemed on edge. His grip on the coffee cup tightening as he stared at you, he could recognise that tattoo from anyway. He had seen that finger pump right into your cunt, but you couldn’t be, you couldn’t have been this close to him, without him ever realising.

“Hey man, sorry I’m la…” Connie had waltzed in but had noticed both you and Reiner together, “oh hey Y/n, haven’t you got a lecture as well.”

“Professor cancelled, I thought I’d come here to relax.” You knew Connie from having met him in your first year, he had been a sweet kid but even then, sweet kids can end up tormenting others. Which had become his favourite thing.

“She wasn’t annoying you right?” You stuck your tongue out, Reiner felt at unease, could that same tongue have sucked your slick filled fingers.

Reiner shakes his head as Connie gestures for him to get up, “actually, go without me.” Connie didn’t bother questioning Reiner’s motives, instead leaving due to not wanting to be late.

“What about your lecture?” You questioned scratched the side of your neck, he could see the start of the black tattoo behind your ear. He had all the proof he needed to ask you the question that he had been dreading to ask.

He stared at you, with your eyes fixated on his own, it was uncomfortable, but he asked the question anyway, “are you camgirl Y/n?”

Your face flushed at the question, feeling uneasy. You began stuttering, “w…what?”

“Are you camgirl Y/n?” He repeated.

“I don’t know who that is.” You bit your lip, the same action you had done last night, he knew it was you.

“I don’t care if you are, I watch your videos.” He spoke with confidence.

You knew you had fans, but you had assumed them all to be old men or 18-year-olds who had control of their money. Not your friend's attractive friend, you felt insecure however, an attractive man like himself having watched you. “Pl…please don’t tell anybody.”

He hadn’t intended to make you feel uneasy as he tried to salvage the situation, “Y/n, I wouldn’t, you’re just really pretty y’know and your streams are umm.” He scratched the back of his head.

You shut your laptop facing him, “my streams are what?”

“You’re just perfect y’know, every part of you, I really like your tattoo on your side, and the birthmark you have as well. I read that you said you didn’t like your birthmarks and scars that you got as a kid, but I think they’re…perfect.” He didn’t know what got over him as he spoke about your body so freely.

But even then, you saw that he watched your streams to yes cum, but something more. To just see you, for you, an idea popped into your head, a bad idea but you were horny and alone. “My apartments 5 minutes away.”

He gave a confused look at your statement, you began to put your stuff in your bag, putting your coat on. Before bending down to meet his ear, “why don’t you come and fuck me, daddy?”

The words fell from your lips in a matter of seconds, if he was a friend of Connie’s he couldn’t be that bad and with him keeping your secret he deserved some sort of reward. Reiner’s eyes flashed, only a mere hour ago had he dreamt of those words coming from your mouth and now here you were ready for him.

“Unless you’re…” He interrupted, grabbing your wrist.

“Let’s go to yours.” The walk was silent, you seemed to live alone at how you easily dumped your stuff to the side. He walked inside taking his shoes off, as you dropped your coat to the side.

The reality of the situation had settled in, as he watched your uneasiness. You had invited a stranger to fuck you in the heat of the moment. You were about to speak but heard Reiner’s voice instead, “why don’t you go to your room?” His confidence had regained, after seeing how shy you had gotten and how the vibe from earlier of a sweetheart had washed away after the confession.

He wanted to take control, wanted to make you feel good. Wanted to hear you scream his name in real life and not on a screen. You nodded walking past the room that had all your recording stuff, he followed, noticing how nice your apartment was, almost inviting.

He walked into your room, he had expected to see the same dark room for your streams, but instead was met with your cream-coloured walls and potted plants everywhere. Pictures from your high school and university life, he could see how your room represented you, and as much as he hated to say it. He couldn’t wait to ruin it.

“Reiner…” You whispered as he came forward, he stood in between your legs, his large hand almost cupping your entire cheek.

“I’m not one of those rich fanboys who send you money when you spread your legs, now be a good girl and open wide.” Butterflies filled your stomach, his hand still cupping your entire face as your mouth opened up for him.

The sound of him gathering up spit in his mouth filled the air before he spat directly into your mouth, “swallow.” The early insecurity had gone and was filled with a dominance that made you even more turned on.

He watched as his saliva and spit flooded down your throat, the warm liquid mixing with your own saliva. His lips attached to your own, still standing tall against your frame, your hands were directly to where his cock was, and you could almost see the bulge through his jeans. His lips were rough as both his hands grabbed your face, it intoxicated your mouth as his tongue gliding against your own.

Soft moans filled the air before your hands reached to undo his jeans, he didn’t stop you letting you throw the belt away as the jeans fell to the floor. The huge indent made an impression as you almost gasped at the size, but Reiner’s mouth suppressed it all. He smirked knowing that even your vibrator and little toys were no match for his cock.

Your fingers skimmed across his boxer material; the feeling of his cock almost grazed back. He let go of your face, watching at how you caught your breath, before moving his fingers to the hem of your shirt. He lifted it above your head, seeing the breasts and tattoo he had seen on your show, it felt intimate, however. Like now he was the only person who should see you like this, he towered over you again before kneeling against the bed.

Our body encased as he looked down at you, his cock just skimming your stomach. “Pretty aren’t you, I can't wait to ruin you.” You response was cut off with a moan from his mouth attacking your neck, the sucking leaving you to moan his name. Which turned him on even more, he moved his mouth to your neck, undoing your own jeans to let them slide down your legs.

His mouth moved to just above your breasts, looking up to see your whimpering sight, “Rei…Reiner.” It was a much louder moan as his other hand had rubbed against your clothed cunt.

His other hand undid your bra chucking it to the door, as his cock rubbed against your cunt. The sensation almost makes you mewl and cower, “I want to s..suck your cock.” You whimpered out.

How could he ever refuse an offer like that, he took his shirt off in one slick movement. Your eyes on his chiselled abs and hairs that trailed his happy trail right down to his cock, he moved to lean against the pillow, the softness of your bed gulping his body. He watched as your breasts hung from your chest as you crawled towards his clothed cock. “Use those pretty lips of yours, baby.”

The sound of praise lifted your confidence as you removed his boxers allowing his cock to spring out in all its glory. The way the tip blushed and curved towards his abdomen made your mouth water, but most of all the sheer size of the veiny cock was monstrous to say the least.

Your tongue licked from the base upwards, the feeling of his precum dripped down your fingers and mouth, he gave a groan tilting his head back as he felt your lips wrap against his cock. He didn’t expect you to get the whole cock down your throat, but he wanted you to, he watched as barely half fit down your throat before you felt suffocated. But even then, feeling your tongue lick and wrap around his cock sent him into a frenzy. “Babyyyy” he gave a moan feeling his cock hit the back of your throat, he wanted to watch you struggle for a bit before he did anything.

“It’s…too big.” Your eyes had watered from the feeling of being stuffed.

“It’ll fit.” Was all he sent grabbing your hair in a fish and pushing your head down onto his cock. Tears welled up at how your nose reached lower and lower almost touching the base, his lifting of your head allowed for minimal time to breath. But the groans and moans were what made it ever more satisfying, he continued using your mouth, his grip tightening occasionally. Before his whole cock fit directly to the back of  your throat, the way he could almost see it in your throat and how well you had done made him cum on the spot.

Cum shooted down your throat with a moan of your name coming from his lips, he watched as you swallowed the saltiness down your throat. He brought his fingers to wipe away the cum that had dripped down to your chin, “suck.” His fingers went into your mouth as you sucked to taste the saltiness mix with the taste of his fingers.

“Fuck me.” You moaned through the sucking; his other hand having gone to remove your underwear.

He saw your bare form for the first time in real life, it wasn’t a show or in his head. You were here in front of him, you were real, and you wanted him to fuck you. He grabbed your waist turning you over to make your body press against the bed, your ass perked up right away. Up for his cock to slam into it, you felt one hand press against your head pushing your face downwards as the other went to your hands grabbing them to put them behind your back.

His cock skimmed back and forth before he slammed into your tight walls, a loud moan erupting from your mouth. “Fast…faster, daddy.”

Even with your face against the bed you were still a mess, “fuck, you’re so tight.” He had gotten half his cock in your cunt before he began thrusting, a sensation sending vibrations down your body and bed. He continued thrusting each time adding more of his cock into your slick filled hole. “Taking me so well, good girl.” He groaned out; it was heaven to your ears. Even with the feeling of being bound by his hands you felt like this moment was more intimate than any sexual experience you had experienced.

“Fuck.” He repeated throughout each thrust, he had let go of your head, letting your give out more freer moans at every thrust through the slick. His hand moving to your neck, grabbing it with a strong hold. He grasped it letting moans fall from your lips before tightening his grip, your head was up in the air and with each thrust his base seemed to meet your tortured cunt. “Who does this cunt belong to?”

“Y…you, daddy.” You moaned, he saw how dishevelled your hair had gotten, how it was moan after moan, it was unlike the shows where your moans would be filled with just fucks and daddy. You were more vocal, more vocal for him.

His cock had reached the back of your uterus, knowing how after a couple more thrusts he’d be ready to cum in your pretty cunt. “Cu…cum.” You whimpered, he let go of your neck, his hand moving to move your hair away from your face. Even with his kneeling position he was in great view to see the beauty you held within each whimper and moan.

“You're going to cum right on my cock.” He groaned out, “fuck baby, come on do it, cum right on my cock.”

You felt the coil release from your cunt, letting the white gush from you and onto his cock, the cum let him more easily slide back and forth into your own cunt. Before feeling his own sensation relieve him, his cum filling your cunt in a matter of seconds.

He got out of you, dropping his head beside you. Your cunt filled and body sore from his grip, he watched as you tried to get up, but wobbled as you stood, cum dripping down your thighs and legs. “Clean yourself up later.” He muttered, bringing an arm around his neck as he watched you try to move.

“You could’ve warned me about that before.” You pointed to his cock after seeing him chuckle at your struggle. Giving up on movement, your suffocated cunt and you almost waddled back to the bed.

Collapsing right beside Reiner, his arm moving to your waist as he brought you closer. “We should do this again, sometime?” He proposed, he didn’t want to be fuck buddies, but you might still see him as some fan you needed to repay.

“We should go on a date.” You muttered quietly, resting your head against his chest.

His eyes widened at the comment, “a date?”

“You have been on one before, two people go out to get to know each other, might even fuck after, we did it in the wrong order, but I know this Sushi place.” Your eyes were shut as you rambled on.

He looked down at your perfect figure, the way you clinged onto his chest, his arm around you security. The sweaty hairs sticking your face and god that smile that could melt a man, you wanted more from him, he wasn’t just a fan anymore and you definitely weren’t the cam girl anymore. Taking a sharp breath he spoke the words that started the future of you two together “I’d like that.”

i’d really appreciate if you guys could leave a like, reblog or comment, thanks x

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[crowdedimagines]

Worse Days - Aaron Hotchner

The faint dripping of water pulls me back to reality. The same sploosh happening over and over. Minute after minute. I pull my eyes open blinking, forcing them to focus. The swaying back and forth, left to right, doesn’t help ease the dizziness I feel.

“Looks like your girl is finally up.”

I look around, searching for the source of the voice.

“Wake up, sunshine!” He finally sits in front of me, taking my head in his hand. His fingers are coarse and strong. He forces me to look him in the eyes, his grip tight on my cheeks. He tilts my head to the tripod over his shoulder. The red light on the camera blinks back at me.

“Smile for the camera.”

This is not at all how today was supposed to go…

Twenty-Two Hours Ago.

“Alright, we’re looking at four women, murdered and found on the beach in Miami. All from different classes and backgrounds, but similar age groups” JJ hands us each our files.

“He takes them for three days, before brutally dismembering them. The morning of the fourth day, the woman is always found.”

“He takes risks. Each of these women were taken from high traffic areas.” I comment.

“There’s more.” Garcia suddenly takes over.

“He also sends a live feed to the family of the victim.” She reluctantly pulls it up on the TV, a live feed of the women pleading for their lives. Saying their goodbyes.

“He’s definitely a sexual sadist. He finds pleasure in knowing that families are watching their loved ones last moments.” I clear my throat, pulling my eyes away from the screen.

“That’s what he gets off on.” Derek agrees. “He likes knowing that there’s people in distress on the other end of the camera.”

“Wheels up in thirty.” Hotchner simply says before excusing us all.

As soon as we land we start the process to find the unsub. It begins with all of us splitting up and going to the scenes where the bodies were found. All of them were ditched on the beach, early morning before anyone was out.

We get nothing from the populated beaches other than sand in our shoes.

We sit down and look at the profile and determine the man is bold and try to analyze the footage we have from the previous victims. Penelope is trying to find any identifying marks from the videos to see where they come from. Based on the way he treats the bodies, we’ve determined he’s likely a white male in his early thirties. 

“It looks like they’re on a boat.” I say, we’ve been watching the videos on an endless loop. Trying to catch any new details. 

“The camera is steady.” Morgan argues, looking at the TV now too.

“But look at her hair, it’s moving when she’s not. It’s like the rocking of a boat.”

“It’s possible considering he’s ditching them on the beach.” Reid comments. 

“That’s why no one sees him dragging a body all across the beach. He already had them on a boat.” Ross puzzles together. 

“The most recent body was found this morning, that means he’s going to take his next victim tonight.” Morgan says.

“We should visit where each of the women were taken. Try and get an understanding of how he was able to do so in such populated areas.” Hoctchner announces, “Prentiss and Morgan, go to the grocery store where Hannah Lane was taken, Y/n and Spencer, go to the parking garage where Amy Bryant was abducted and Rossi and I will go to the last two locations.”

We all nod and go off in our separate directions. Spencer and I get in the car and drive to the parking garage where Amy was taken. We drive around until we reach the second level and get out.

“Even for a parking garage, it’s bold. It’s packed with cars on this level. Anyone could show up at any time.” I look around.

“You’re right, they could.” A voice calls out behind me before everything goes dark.

Present time.

“Morgan, you owe me twenty bucks. I told you it was a boat.” I stretch out my neck that has a kink from hanging loosely while sitting up in the chair for so long. It feels heavy, like I’ve been in this position a long time.

The man in front of me rolls his eyes, huffing loudly.

“You picked the wrong girl if you were counting on me melting like puddy in your hands. You forget that I know exactly what you want. You want the tears and the begging.”

“Trust me. You’ll get to that point.” He smirks. “They all do.”

He leaves the room, loudly pulling the door shut behind him as he goes.

“I promise, it’s not as bad as it looks.” I plead with the camera, knowing that my team is on the other side of it. I can only imagine what they’re all feeling. We’ve had close calls with team members, it’s not any easier to be in their position right now. You feel helpless. 

“Definitely on a boat, but I think we’re just at a marina or a pier. I can hear seagulls, we aren’t rocking that much.”

I lean forward as best as I can while still being tied to a chair. There’s a small window along the ceiling allowing me to see blue skies.

“It might be a ship. I’m above sea level, I can see the sky.” I try to give the team as much information as I can possibly gather. Anything could help.

“Sorry that’s about all I have right now to help.” I look around the bare room for any other details that could help, “I think I have a concussion, and maybe a cracked rib. I can’t take a deep breath.”

Suddenly the man comes back in, just as quickly as he left, he takes the camera in his hands.

“That’s all of your Y/n time today. You should get to trying to find me, because I am going to have a lot of fun in the meantime.”

Back with the team at the Miami police department...

The feed cuts out leaving the team in silence and shock.

“There’s nothing we could’ve done. We couldn’t have known-”

“We could have waited.

Spencer looks down at the ice pack in his lap. As if the guilt wasn’t eating away at him enough before. He also received a concussion. Only he woke up on the ground, relatively nothing compared to the person he was sent out with.

“There was no way for us to know that the unsub was going to come back to visit the last scene of the crime.” Emily defends. She can see the pure anger in Aaron’s eyes. Completely unwavering, and only focused on getting Y/n back to the team.

“But that’s the thing. He wouldn’t, that’s not in his MO. He moves on to his next target. Once he kills these women he feels nothing, it’s all in the buildup, he feels nothing at the scene of the crime.” Rossi says, thinking out loud.

“Y/n helped JJ talk to the press. The unsub could have seen her then. It’s likely that he would follow the case, especially once it was announced that the FBI had joined the case.” Spencer rapidly explains.

“She’s the right age, she fits his type.” Rossi nods.

“So, he sees her as more of a challenge. He’s escalated. He knows that she is a higher risk person to take.” Emily comments. 

“Y/n, said she’s on a boat.” Morgan says, bringing up the clue that Y/n gave them before the feed cut out. 

“We’re in southern Florida, there’s thousands of boats within just a hundred miles of us.” JJ sighs, looking around to the group around her.

“Four thousand, seven hundred and fifty-two within 75 miles of here.” Spencer pipes up.

Hotchner cuts him a look. Still trying to find anyone to blame, but himself. He’s the one who sent her in to that parking garage. 

“Garcia, can you locate her based on the feed the unsub has sent us?” Aaron asks, looking at the plain black screen, hoping to see it come back on so he can see the girl behind the camera. 

“No sir, he’s using a different routing server, just like he did with all of his previous victims.”

“Y/n is not a victim.”

---

It takes some time while the team continues to try and work out locations and who the unsub could even be. He wasn’t afraid to show his face on camera, which makes things a little more difficult. He has no record, making Garcia’s life a little harder. 

The TV in the conference room lets out a crackle before the familiar room comes into their view. Everyone sets down what they had been working on and halts all conversation. It’s been several hours since we’ve seen anything from him. Y/n has been gone for eleven hours at this point.

“Welcome back to the show!” The unsub grins. 

He moves out of the way to finally put Y/n in the frame. She’s hunched over, she doesn’t look as good as she did before. It’s evident that things have changed off camera. 

“His name is Nick.” Y/n mutters, picking up her head as best as she can. “He’s five ten and approximately a hundred ninety pounds.” 

“Don’t you learn to shut up?” Nick pulls back on the hair at the back of her head. In doing so it reveals new bruises that have taken home on her. 

“Baby, we talked about this. No more sharing with them, or else you know what happens.” Nick brushes her hair out of her face now. 

“This is his dads boat.” Y/n looks at the man who has taken her with spite in her eyes. It seems in his hours spent with her, he hasn’t learned that Y/n doesn’t like to be told what to do. And that she’s tougher than she looks. 

He lands a sharp fist into the side of her head and takes a step back. He lets himself take a deep breath, trying to gain control. He doesn’t want to kill her yet, that would be over too soon. Now he can step closer again, he lets one hand wrap around her throat, halting any oxygen of reaching her lungs.

He waits for Y/n to start to struggle in her chair before he lets up. 

“You just don’t like to learn, that’s okay. I’ll fix you.” Nick takes her hand, which is still tied to the arms of the chair she’s sat in. He pulls her pointer finger with care, before sharply pushing it straight up, breaking it. 

“Garcia-” Y/n picks up her head struggling to fight against his hands, she’s coughing now still trying to gain her breath back, “You don’t need to see this. Please. Turn it off.”

“Of course, Y/n is the one being tortured and she’s worried about other people.” Morgan turns away, himself unable to watch this continue. Listening to Y/n’s screams and shouts are going to be enough to stick with him. Rossi forces himself to watch the girl he’s grown so close to since joining the team, brutally tortured in front of him. 

Everyone on this team has love for this girl. She’s managed to worm her way into everyone’s life in some way or another. Y/n always knows exactly what each person needs, and she meets it. She holds the team together when they’re all falling apart. If anything were to happen to her, it would destroy them all. 

Especially Aaron. As reluctant as he would be to admit it, this girl has wormed her way into his heart. Different to everyone else on the team, though. He saw her beauty and kindness. It was hard to him to imagine a woman ever entering his life like Haley did, but Y/n did it with such grace, and without even trying. Y/n helped him out with Jack when he needed it, and made them meals when Aaron just needed to catch a break. She didn’t even need a thank you, it was just part of her.

Without even trying, Y/n became his person and all he can think now is that he never got the chance to tell her, never even got the chance to thank her, and that he won’t let happen.  He wants to see Y/n’s face in person, not bruised and bloody through the screen on the wall. He needs to get out to save her.

“Garcia, does that help you narrow your search.” Hotchner asks their tech who is still on speaker. 

“We’ve got twenty-two Nicks with boats in the Miami area.” She explains. 

“What about Nicks who have wealthy fathers? Or boats that weren’t originally in their name.” Spencer asks. 

“That leaves me with one. Nick Hoffman.” Garcia cheers, “Sunset Harbour on 1928 Sunset Harbour Drive” 

The team takes off without a second thought, quickly trying to save their girl. They manage to get there in record time and find the boat with success. Y/n was right, it’s more like a ship with its size. 

“Morgan, Rossi, work your way around the main levels and then below. Emily and I will lead the upper level.” 

The team takes off to clear the boat. It took a few empty rooms until Emily finally opens the door to where they are. Nick holds a knife to Y/n’s throat. He’s essentially using her as a shield, ducking behind her. 

“If you take one more step in here, I will slit her throat.” Nick shouts. 

“We don’t want that to happen.” Emily negotiates, Hotch finally stepping into the room. 

“Hey! I told you guys not to move!” He presses the blade down tight against Y/n’s neck while she lets out a shudder. 

“Let her go.” Hotch declares. 

“I want a deal.” Nick grovels. 

“Men like you don’t get deals.” Emily says, her eyes trained on him and all of his movements. 

“Not even for your precious Y/n’s life?” He grins, looking down at the girl below him now. 

“Go to hell.” She mutters as best she can., 

“Maybe killing you would be worth it.” He smirks, “Then we could go out together.” 

“I’ve got better plans.” Y/n throws her head back into Nick’s disorienting him enough that Hotch has a clear shot, and he takes it. Nick’s body falls and Emily kicks his knife out of reach.

“Get me out of this chair.” Y/n shakes, squirming to get out of the spot she’s been constrained to. “Get me out of here, please.” 

Hotch and Emily both holster their weapons and rush to help her. They quickly untie her and when her legs fail her, Hotch scoops her up. He quickly walks her down the stairs and doesn’t stop once he reaches the dock, he takes her all the way up to the ambulance. 

Without hesitation, Hotch gets in with her. There isn’t anything that could keep him from leaving her now. 

“Wow, that was a dramatic ending, huh?” Y/n grins. 

“You can’t seriously be cracking jokes about this now.” He sighs. 

“I mean come on, aren’t you going to even ask how I figured out his name was Nick? I figured it out when he ow-” 

Y/n cuts herself off when the paramedic starts feeling her ribs to see which are cracked and if any are broken.

“Y/n, we can talk about this later.” Aaron smiles. 

“Am I hallucinating? Is it the lack of oxygen, because you’re smiling.” Y/n comments, finally turning to look at her boss who has a smile that she knows he saves for Jack. 

“You’re back. That’s reason to smile.” 

They make it to the hospital to find out that Y/n has a concussion, one broken rib and three cracked ribs, and one broken finger. Not to mention the trauma to the trachea. 

“The gangs all here.” Y/n smiles, noticing Garcia has flown down to join the group. Everyone has been gathered in the room since everything settled down, “What are you doing here?” 

“Y/n, you were kidnapped.” Garcia states, still in shock, “You could’ve died.” 

Tears fill Penelope’s eyes and Y/n opens her arms from her hospital bed for a hug, which she easily accepts. 

“Ehh, I knew you guys would find me.” Y/n grins. “I’m fine Pen, I’m getting discharged in the morning and we can all go home.” 

“Yes, speaking of, we should all get some rest. Especially Y/n.”

Slowly, the rest of the team clears out, giving hugs on their way. 

“Not taking your own orders?” Y/n asks, noticing her boss making himself comfortable on the small couch in her hospital room. 

“I don’t think I could leave if I tried.” Aaron admits. 

“And why’s that?” Y/n asks, carefully turning to lay on her side to face him. 

“Because I love you.” He confesses, “I have for a while now, and it’s alright if you don’t feel the same, or if my position with this team makes you uncomfortable. I just don’t think I can go any longer without you at least knowing.”

“You love me?” Y/n asks, her voice cracking. Aaron finally has the courage to look over and she has tears in her eyes. 

“Yes.” He clears his throat, “The way you have become a part of my life, and Jack’s for that matter. You bring so much light with you everywhere you go, even after a day like you’ve had today. You manage to still be the brightest person I have ever met.”

“Please don’t make me get out of bed to kiss you, because I think I would crack another rib.” Y/n sighs. 

Hotch lets out a soft chuckle before getting up from his spot. 

“Only if you promise to go to bed after this, you need rest.” 

“Promise.” 

He leans down to connect their lips, it’s soft. Y/n can tell that he’s being gentle with her. She reaches up a hand to thread them through Aaron’s short hair, using it to her advantage to hold him there and pull him a little closer. They pull away eventually, Y/n stealing one more peck before fully letting go of him.

“Ok, maybe I’ve had worse days.” 

---

AHHHHHH my first time writing for criminal minds! i hope you guys liked it! 🥺

[sun-moon-stars-jedi]

So we all know that Jason is a theatre kid, right? That boy loves Shakespeare and the classics, and he’s got such a natural flair for drama, he was practically born for the stage.

I imagine during his time at Gotham Academy Jason might not have had many friends or been really all that social on account of his background and most of the other students being snobs, so he wasn’t very interested in spending more time at the school than he had to. The one after-school activity Jason just couldn’t resist joining though was the theatre club.

What I want to get at is that somewhere in Wayne Manor there are videotapes hidden in a closet of fourteen-year-old Jason performing in his first (and only) school play, complete with Jason beaming at Bruce and waving at him after the final bow and Bruce’s proud “That’s my son!” coming loudly from behind the camera.

Those tapes haven’t seen the light of day in a long time and as such Tim and  Damian have absolutely no idea what they are when they stumble across them one afternoon while cleaning the Manor (Alfred’s newest form of punishment when they get into fights).

As detectives the two of them obviously have to find out what’s on the tapes (and also they’ll take any excuse to stop cleaning - the Manor is freaking huge, you know?) so they unearth a VHS player from somewhere and hunker down in one of the less used sitting rooms, hoping that it’ll be a while until Alfred finds them slacking off.

At first they’re kind of disappointed when a stage and some clearly untalented teenagers appear on the screen, having expected something much jucier hidden away in the depths of the house.

But then little Jason Todd walks onto the stage, in costume and everything, and the video becomes a lot more interesting.

At first Tim and Damian are grinning, exchanging a rare, completely in sync look, because they both recognize an opportunity for blackmail material when they see one.

But then Jason begins to speak and they are both instantly captured by how confidently his words carry across the stage, recognizable even on a VHS tape, how he moves as if the stage was all he had ever known, how all the other actors seemed to gravitate towards him and their perfomances seemed to get better just because Jason was there.

They realise that Jason is good at this.

And not just a good actor like all the Bats are when they have to be, but with Jason it seems to go deeper, something coming alive in the boy they are watching from across the years, like he has found a place where he can shine on the stage.

Tim and Damian get so sucked into the performance that they don’t even notice how much time passes until they hear a soft “Oh” from behind them and turn to find Bruce standing there, something vulnerable and longing in his expression as he watches young Jason on the screen.

Neither of them says anything when their father joins them on the couch, eyes never leaving the TV, and together they watch until the play ends, Jason’s smiling face the last image on the screen before it turns black.

They sit there in silence for a while, each of them obviously thinking about the bright young boy they had just watched and comparing him to the Jason they know now. And yes, Jason isn’t trying to kill them anymore, he’s even working with the Bats most of the time and somewhat reluctantly acknowledges them as family, but he’s still so closed off, as if he doesn’t allow himself to come back fully to the family out of some sense of self-punishment.

“Jay‘s a good actor,” Tim finally says, the words inadequate, but they break the silence that had started to become oppressive. “Did he like the theatre club?”

“Yes,” Bruce answers, his mind clearly far away, “he wouldn’t shut up about it for months. He was so excited they gave him the lead in the next play because his first performance was so great, but then...”

They all know what happened then, and instantly the silence is back, heavier than before.

“Excuse me,” Bruce mumbles and then it’s just Tim and Damian on the couch, looking after their retreating father before meeting each other’s eyes.

And they may not have the easy brotherhood between them that they share with Dick, or the understanding that is so inherent in every interaction with Cassandra, but in that moment Tim and Damian both know exactly what they have to do and that they will do it together.

So it comes to pass that Tim hacks into Gotham Academy to find out which play the theatre club performed the year Jason died while Damian somehow bullies his way onto the theatre club and manages to make them pick that same play for this year’s performance.

And so Damian, pretending to be deeply unhappy about it, asks all of his siblings to help him prepare at home, because the imbeciles he goes to school with are obviously not on par with his own acting abilities, and even though his siblings are also not as great as Damian, they are adequate for the purpose.

Dick of course agrees immediatly, always eager for family time. Cass just smiles knowingly at Damian (and Tim) before she nods and Tim pretends to be annoyed but eventually agrees under the pretense of wanting blackmail material.

Jason takes the longest to agree, finally doing so with the declaration that he just wants to see Damian make an ass of himself in front of his whole school, but Tim and Damian can tell that underneath he’s actually excited about this.

So from then on the five of them meet regularly, which has never really happened outside of patrol, and it turns out they really have a lot of fun together. They joke, tease each other, make fun of Bruce, the usual stuff, but everything feels lighter when the thing bringing them together isn’t Bat-related for once.

Jason also starts to spend a lot more time at the Manor, not only with his siblings, but also with Alfred and eventually even Bruce and that is something Tim and Damian hadn’t expected, but they certainly aren’t complaining. It’s finally like Jason is a real part of the family again and they both have to admit they like having their big brother around - he’s different from Dick, rougher around the edges and not as openly affectionate, but it’s nice to not be babied or told to go to bed at a sensible hour, and Jason is always up for a prank war or other dumb ideas, so Tim and Damian actually have a lot of fun with him.

Then, after months of preparation, the play of course finally has to be performed.

Damian claims he wants a proper rehearsal before having to perform in front of the whole school and it’s not as if the other Batkids don’t know their parts by now, so they build a makeshift stage in the ballroom of the Manor and finally perform the full play, with Bruce and Alfred as their audience.

And while Jason was of course good in the rehearsals before, the moment he steps onto the stage this time it is once again as if he has found his true calling, as if something inside him has come awake that makes him radiate with confidence and charisma. His performance is breathtaking, so much so that his siblings oftentimes nearly miss their cues because they are so captivated just watching him.

After the final line a silence falls over the room, as if everyone is holding their breath, until it is broken by Bruce standing up, clapping as he looks from one of his kids to the next, something fiercely proud and loving in his expression.

His gaze meets Jason’s last, and they just look at each other for a long time, something seeming to settle between them after all these years. It’s not that time has been rewound and this certainly doesn’t erase the past, but maybe if they can have this moment that they both thought lost to a crowbar and an explosion, there can be others like it.

Tim and Damian share a look and even a tentative smile, and maybe this whole idea wasn’t only good for Bruce and Jason’s relationship.

When Damian stands on his school’s stage the next evening he finds six faces in the crowd that are only focused on him, and there is even a camera standing on a tripod next to his father, who is smiling proudly up at him.

Next to him sits Jason, draped casually across his seat, but he’s also smiling and leaning against Bruce’s shoulder in a way he wouldn’t have just a month or two ago, and that certainly makes this worth it, even if Damian will have to endure several more performances next to some of his less than talented classmates.

The things one does for family...

[spidey-sophie]

Press Play | Tom Holland One Shot

Pairing: Tom Holland x Female Reader

Warning: smut, unprotected sex

Summary: What happens when you tell your boyfriend your sexual fantasy?

Work Count: 2.8k

Notes: A huge thank you to wonderful @worldoftom​ for being my beta reader and giving me amazing advices and notes!

Ever since last night you couldn’t stop thinking about Tom’s question. No matter how hard you tried to concentrate on your paperwork, your mind kept wandering back to last night.

Of course, being with a famous multimillionaire movie star had its perks, but also had some downfalls. First and the most obvious one was that you two could never have a proper date night in a restaurant. Going to clubs or to the movies was also a no-go. Another one was constantly hiding and making sure you’re nowhere to be seen in his Instagram posts or stories.

But the one thing that was on your mind ever since last night was the fact that you might never be able to explore your biggest fantasy with him. You tried not to think about it. Your sex life was more than amazing, but there was that one thing that always turned you on, that one bucket list item that you knew from the start you couldn't cross with Tom.

You were ready to lock that little fantasy in the back of your mind, where no one would ever find it.  And it was fine, really. Until last night while you were laying naked in bed, hands and legs entangled, Tom asked you, “Do you have anything in bed that you’d like to try?”

And you got scared at the thought of sharing your most vulnerable part. You contemplated saying no and changing the subject. There was no point in saying it out loud when it wouldn't be possible. Just thinking about it turned your cheeks all kinds of hot. Saying it to Tom would only make you more embarrassed. He was always understanding, but what if he thought you were weird? Nope, that thing would definitely stay locked in your mind. Where it should be.

But you decided to go for it because you trusted him.

“Well… there is this one thing. I don’t know, it might sound stupid…”

“Go on, tell me, I’m curious to know,” he said as he turned around to face you.

“Nooo, don’t look at me, I’m embarrassed.” You got up and covered your eyes with your hands. “I’ll tell you, but I can’t look at you, okay?”

“I’m nodding, but you can’t see me,” he started  laughing and touching your back. That light touch of his fingers on your skin made you feel safe, like you could say anything to him and he would understand.

“Well, I may have… But promise me you won’t laugh and you won’t think I’m weird if this doesn’t turn you on or makes you uncomfortable. Please?” Finally you turned back to him while he was laying on his back, looking at you.

“I already think you’re weird, but you’re my weird little kitten, so I don’t think my opinion on you can change that easily.”

“Very funny, Tom, you know I hate that nickname. Okay, here it is - I think that it would be kind of hot if we, uhm, recorded ourselves while doing it,” you laid it out for him, talking fast as to get it out of you in one go.

“Well, we could do th…”

“But wait, here’s the weird part. And I really can’t look at you right now.” You covered your eyes again. “I’d like if we could upload that video of us somewhere. Of course we won’t record our heads or anything, it would be just our bodies, or like those point-of-view videos, I don’t know and I’m so embarrassed right nooow...” You were just about to get out of bed, still without looking at Tom, when he grabbed your hand.

“Actually,” he kissed your back, “that,” then your shoulder, “sounds,” and finally your neck, “really hot.”

“Really?” You laid on top of him and started kissing him. There was a smile on his face and you felt relief. You smiled back at him, and that was the only thing you two needed. That was your sign to him that you no longer felt anxious or distressed about sharing your secret with him.

“Really, but I don’t know how we could do this, since I’m kind of famous.” You both started laughing. It always amused you how nonchalant Tom was about fame. He made cynical jokes about how he was the biggest movie star right now, and yet he always stayed humble. “I’ll try to find a way to do this.”

“And I really have to go back home, I have work tomorrow.” You got up and started buttoning up your shirt.

“Why don’t you stay here tonight and I’ll drop you off at work in the morning?” Tom said as his hands gripped your waist.

“Nice offer, but I’ll have to say no.” As you put on your shoes, you gave him a quick kiss. Once he got dressed, he walked you to your car.

“Look at you, Y/N, I had no idea you also wanted to be a movie star.” As you already knew, he had to tease you. That was something you two did all the time. You roasted him to keep his ego in place and he did it back to you to make you laugh.

“Fuck you, Holland.” You smiled and gave him a goodbye kiss.

……………

The day couldn’t go by any slower. When the clock finally turned 5, you were ready to get out of your office, get in your pyjamas and spend the whole night eating ice cream and watching some old Sex And The City episodes. Tom was supposed to go out with his friends. That’s why his message was a surprise to you.

Come to my place later tonight, I have something for you.

And that message alone got your nipples so hard they were poking through your shirt. You took a quick shower and in a matter of minutes, you were ready to go.

The moment he opened his door, he started kissing you. It was a hungry, passionate kiss, like he hadn't been kissing you just last night. Your tongue was exploring his mouth just like the first time you kissed. His hands went down your back, while you were moving the waistbands of his trousers with yours. Your underwear was already wet and the bulge you saw through his grey sweatpants was proof that he wanted you just as much as you wanted him.

“Come in, I’m alone,” he said between kisses and you obeyed. He put you down on his couch and got settled on top of you. His hands were holding your wrist above your head and he lowered himself on his knees. The sound of your heavy breathing was interrupted by the sound of the button on your jeans unfastening.

He didn’t want to waste any time. His mouth was all over your thighs.

“I thought all day about what you told me last night,” he said, tongue running over your inner thighs. “I got hard whenever I thought about it.”

“Oh really?” you prompted yourself up on your elbows and saw his dark brown eyes looking at you while he was kissing that soft spot where your thigh meets your stomach.

“I think I have an idea, but we should move to the guest bedroom first.”

You left your jeans in the living room and followed him to the first floor. The lights were off, only the floor lamp was on. There were clean sheets on the bed, he even had lit up some candles on the counter. But the thing that surprised you the most was the camera, standing on the tripod, facing the bed. You felt throbbing between your legs.

“I chose this room because it's the only room in the house I’ve never posted stories or anything in. I found the right angle so that our heads would be out of frame.”

You didn’t say anything. You couldn’t believe he had done all of this for you. The only thing you could do right now was to kiss him. Which you did. You smacked your lips on his, your fingers weaved through his thick hair. He unclasped your bra and started squeezing your boobs together. You pressed your hips to his and felt his rock hard cock.

“Wait, wait,” you froze waiting for him to continue. “Let’s leave something for the video, what did you have in mind?”

“Fully naked, sit on the bed, legs down and I’ll ride you reverse cowgirl style. Take off your clothes, too.” The only thing you had on right now were your panties so you removed them while you were talking.

“Very specific, I like it,” Tom said, while also removing his shirt and boxers. No matter how many times you’d seen him naked, you always paused for a moment to take a look at his ripped forearms and torso. His body was chiseled, abs as hard as his cock.

“Wait, you can leave that on,” you pointed at the silver chain around his tanned neck. He kept eye contact with you while his fingers ran through his chain.

“Sit,” and he obeyed. “We can’t use each other’s names, but nicknames should be fine.” 

His legs were wide open and he started moving his hand up and down his length, he couldn’t take it any longer. You went back to the camera, made sure his face wasn’t in the frame. You pressed play and the camera started recording him while he touched himself. The silver chain flickered under the light of the floor lamp. As his movements started to become faster, veins started to pop on his arms. From all the blood rush, his cock started turning all shades of pink.

You stood on top of him, wetness leaking down on your thighs. You sat on his lap and slid his girth inside. He held your hips with his hands, guiding you. That first slip inside you always gave you shivers across your whole body, from head to toe in a single rush of pleasure. You both moaned when you fully sat in him, hands sliding down his abs, his cock deep inside you.

You took a moment to get used to his size. After a few seconds, you started moving up and down. Painfully slow at first. All the way up then down until he filled you up to the brim. His breathing was inconsistent, fingers gripping your waist. You leaned forward to provide him a better look on how good you were taking him.

“You have no idea the view I have over here,” he said while staring at your ass, lightly spanking it.

“And you feel so good inside me.” You leaned back to him, put your hands on his chest and you pumped yourself up and down faster. His moans were getting louder and you lost yourself in the sound of the skin smacking together, your wetness dripping down to his abs. You started rubbing yourself while still moving up and down. There was a slight pain in your knees, but it was nothing compared to the pleasure building between your legs.

Suddenly his hands covered yours, the one that you were rubbing yourself with. He slightly moved your hand away and started rubbing your clit. His movements were in sync in yours. All these years together, he already knew your body and what worked best for you. 

Your movements became sloppy, you focused on the way he was hitting your spot with both his hands and his cock. You slid your hand down to his balls and gently massaged them. They were soaking wet and all of that came from you.

“Keep doing that, darling,” he growled in your ear, his chest suddenly hitting your back as he bit your neck. There would be a hickey, you could tell from the stress of his tongue and the intense sucking, but you didn’t care.

“I’m so close baby,” you said in return and laid against his chest. You turned your head to kiss his mouth sloppily as he rubbed circles with his fingers on your clit. The burning hot sensation started rocketing all the way from your core to your head. You stopped moving, but still kept your hand on his balls. You lost all sense of time and space, the only thing you felt were his cock twitching inside of you and his fingers on your clitoris. You stared into each other's eyes, and you moaned loud into his mouth at the sight of his smirk. Then you shook on his lap as he slowed down and catered to you through whispered I love you's. Another confirmation of how fast he could get you off and how much pride he took in that.

Just as you were about to come down from your high and continue riding him, he put his hands under your knees and lifted them up. He started pounding inside you. You couldn’t move, he was fully in control now. Your back was on his chest, his skin warm and sweaty. The only thing you had on your mind right now was to not forget to breathe. His lips were on your ear and neck, his breathing got more intense as he started pounding faster and faster. He was never like this. You had no idea if it was because of the camera, but you loved this new, rough side of Tom.

His cock was filling you up with heat. Your eyes were closed, muscles tightened and that was when you felt another orgasm rising. His hands were still holding your thighs, apart and in place. You enjoyed his moans, but right now yours were louder. You were gripping his arms, you wanted to scream his name, but you remembered about the camera. His cock was hitting deeper and deeper inside of you.

“I’m gonna cum again,” you moaned and his rhythm intensified. That was when another wave of pleasure hit you. You never came this hard. Your moans were uncontrollable and your entire body was trembling.

After a few seconds, you realized he was still inside you, not moving.

“I want to cum on your ass,” he said before he helped you pull out. The sudden loss of contact made you feel empty. You needed him to fill you back in. You got on all fours and he grabbed the camera. You arched your back, ready to give yourself to him completely. His cock was wet so he entered you very easily. Your previous orgasms made you so sensitive so you felt every inch of him, every little movement. You looked back at him and saw him holding a camera, recording his penis sliding in and out of you. His free hand was on your ass, slapping it once every few thrusts.

You never thought this was possible, but you felt like you were about to hit your high again.

“Baby please don’t stop,” you begged.

“I don’t know how long I’m gonna last,” he replied, begging you to let him cum.

His hands squeezed your ass firmly. And it was that little movement that pushed you over the edge. You came again, but this time it felt different, it was warm and sticky and you felt like it lasted longer than the ones before. The pleasure was so intense it seemed like you couldn’t take it anymore. Your moans were mixed with cries and he pulled out quickly. You felt his hot sperm splashing your ass cheeks and your back, the both of you moaning in ecstasy. He was still recording his cock twitching while he was slightly jerking it. His mouth was ajar, but his brow was furrowed like he wanted every little bit of cum to leak on your body.

Once he stopped recording, he went for some toilet paper to clean you up.

“That was the best sex I had in my entire life,” he told you while he peppered kisses on your ass cheeks. You turned back and smiled at him. You were so happy, you didn’t know what you did to deserve him.

“How many times did you cum?” He had a proud look on his face while he was cleaning your back.

“Three. But that last one felt like ten in one.”

Once you were both cleaned up, you put on your underwear and went to take a shower. Tom stayed to edit the video, he wanted you to see the best version of it. No matter how much you tried to take a peak, he wouldn't let you. You went back to bed and played some music. Thirty minutes or more passed and then you heard Tom’s voice calling you back to his room.

“Would you like to be our first viewer?”

You grinned. “Press play, darling.”

Tom grinned back.

He played you the video and it looked even better than you imagined. It was like porn, but with the two of you. The very first minute got you wet. Your faces couldn’t be seen so there was no way anyone would ever find out. By the time the video was over, you were turned on again.

“So what do you think, should we upload it?” he asked you.

“Definitely,” and at those words, he pressed the upload button.

“While we wait for the upload to complete, would you be interested on a second two?” He got up and pulled you back into his arms.

“Well, it would be round four for me, but I’m more than interested.” You leaned in and kissed him with a grin on your lips.

[dickspeightjrs]

Confessions of a Roommate in Love (college au / 3.1k words / roommates)

ao3 link

During college you’ll do anything to earn a bit of extra cash between classes. 

Ash does computer shit for people (Dean has learned not to ask about how legal it all his work is). Jo works in her mom, Ellen’s, bar. Benny hustles pool in said bar (while avoiding Ellen’s wrath).

But Dean and Castiel do something a little different. 

They enter trials and experiments posted around their university’s psychology and science departments. The psychology department, especially, knows them pretty well by now. It’s got to the point where they’ll just go straight to Dean and Castiel and ask if they’re interested. 

So that has what led Dean to racing into their apartment one Tuesday afternoon in their final year with a look of sheer childish glee on his face. 

Castiel is laying back on the sofa working on something but looks up from his laptop at the slam of the door and squints at Dean’s expression. He can never quite trust that Dean’s gleeful looks won’t end in tears eventually. But whatever Dean usually suggests Castiel will go along with because that’s what best friends do. 

“They’re doing another research project in the Psych department. Charlie emailed me the details.” Dean explains. 

Castiel’s interest is clearly piqued and he closes his laptop, moving to sit properly on the sofa to give Dean room to sit down next to him. 

“She said there’s a few stages to it. We’ve got to enter some video submission thing first to see if we’re the right fit and then they’ll invite us in for the real thing. Pretty much like the rest of them.” Dean shrugs, taking the offered seat next to Castiel. 

He pulls up the email on his phone and scrolls straight to the specific information for potential participants. They’ve done so many of these things that he tends to scroll right past most of the generic information. 

Castiel’s interested gaze stays on him. 

“Ah, here it is.” Dean quickly scans the text before reading it out. “So it’s a study about roommates and looks like we have to just answer a few questions about each other. Easy.” Dean grins. 

“What kind of questions do we have to answer?” Castiel asks. 

“Just basic ones about living together - who’s the messiest,” Dean snorts, “that’s you.” 

Castiel makes an offended noise and plucks Dean’s phone out of his hand. “I think you’ll find that’s you actually. I don’t think your socks have ever made it to the laundry basket.” 

Dean watches as Castiel scrolls through the rest of the questions. He lets out the occasional chuckle at some of the questions - even the tiniest of laughs lights up his face. 

Eventually, Castiel hands Dean back his phone. “They’re definitely easy questions. I’ll just pack my study stuff away and we can get started on the video. It’ll be better to submit it as soon as possible.” Castiel rises to his feet and collects his laptop in his arms. He’s about to walk down the hall to his bedroom when he turns back to face Dean. “I’m glad this one is about roommates. Given the amount of times we’ve had to pretend to be a couple for these things,” he chuckles and goes to his room, not waiting for a response from Dean.

Dean’s glad Castiel has left and can’t see his face fall from a fake smile. 

Castiel is right. There have been a few times when they’ve participated in research studies and posed as a couple. But what Castiel doesn’t know is that there was no faking on Dean’s part. 

Truthfully, Dean is hopelessly and completely in love with Castiel. 

It’s so unbelievably cliche that Dean can’t quite believe it’s actually true. But it is. 

Ever since they first met, there has been something about Castiel that seems to complete Dean in ways that he never knew he needed. 

Despite successfully pretending to be a couple, Dean has never told Castiel how he feels. Risking their friendship is too much. The chance that he could ruin everything between them is too big. 

So he stays quiet. Living in the hope that it will blow over one day and he’ll find someone who will love him back the way he wants to be loved. 

“Dean, are you listening?” 

Dean blinks back to reality and sees Castiel standing in front of him. “What?” 

“I asked if you wanted to use your phone or mine?” Castiel looks at him quizzically. “Unless you’re not feeling up to it right now? We can do it later.” 

God bless Castiel for being concerned for Dean all the time. 

“Nah, man.” Dean clears his throat and mentally shakes himself. “I’ll have the questions on my phone, so I guess we could use your phone to film it.” 

Castiel nods, though he still looks a little skeptical that Dean is actually okay. “I’ll go and get my tripod for my phone.” 

Dean smiles and waits for Castiel to be gone from the room before he takes a deep breath and casts any thoughts of his true feelings away. It’s not Castiel’s fault Dean feels this way, and Dean isn’t going to take it out on the guy by acting weird. 

Castiel returns and effortlessly sets up the camera to record. 

Having done submission videos like this before, Dean doesn’t feel self conscious about the feeling of having a camera on him anymore. 

Instead, he looks over the email again. 

Castiel drops himself down on the couch next to Dean and naturally lets their knees touch. Dean keeps his eyes focused on the phone in his hand. 

“So it says we have to answer these questions as quick as we can. Don’t think too much about the answers.” Dean explains. 

Castiel nods in understanding. 

“Right, let’s get started.” Dean says. “First question: Who makes the most noise?” 

“Dean.” 

“Yeah it is me.” Dean has to admit. “It’s the music. Gotta start the day with listening to some classic rock.” 

Castiel snorts. “Yes but you don’t only start the day with classic rock. You end with it too. And you play it when you study. And shower. And when you’re sad.” 

Dean blushes a little at the thought of Castiel knowing when Dean is sad and when he listens to music to cope with it. 

He clears his throat. “Okay, next question.”

*  *  * 

It’s another couple of days before an email pings itself into Dean’s inbox telling him that he and Castiel are through to the next stage of the study. 

Dean hasn’t thought about his feelings for Castiel since they filmed the video and he’s very happy to keep it that way. 

He’s sat in the living room watching the new episode of Dr Sexy when Castiel comes through the door after his last class of the day. He looks tired and completely adorable. 

“Hey, man. Got an email today, we’re through to the next stage. You free tomorrow afternoon?” 

Castiel doesn’t reply straight away. Instead he trudges over to the couch and flops down next to Dean. The dude must really be as tired as he looks because he sighs and rests his weary head on Dean’s shoulder. 

Dean resists the urge to rest his head on Castiel’s in return. “You okay there, Cas?” He asks, looking down at Castiel’s head of dark hair. 

“I’ve had a long day. That last final nearly killed me. I swear to god.” Castiel groans. 

As much as Dean loves Castiel, the dude can be a real drama queen when he wants to be. 

“Come on, man, you’ve aced all your finals and you know it. You’re the smartest guy I know.” 

Castiel abruptly lifts his head from Dean’s shoulder and looks his friend in the eyes. “Thank you, Dean,” he says, sincerity shining in his eyes. His eyes seem to flicker down to Dean’s momentarily but Dean is sure it must just have been the lights or something. 

Dean swallows and coughs before he does something stupid. “Anyway, you free tomorrow then?” 

Castiel clears his throat too and shifts away from Dean’s personal space a little. “Yes, I am free all day. I was just planning to sleep now that finals are over. But it’ll be nice to see what happens with Charlie’s research project.” 

Dean nods. “Awesome, I’ll text Charlie and tell her we’re free.” 

Text sent, Dean returns his attention to Dr Sexy, who is making out with yet another intern on screen. What Dean wouldn’t give to be one of those interns. 

He almost forgets that Castiel hasn’t actually left the living room until he feels a soft weight fall onto his shoulder again. He looks to see that Castiel has fallen asleep on the couch next to him. Now Castiel’s head has slipped down and rested itself against Dean’s arm. 

Any normal roommate would wake Castiel up and tell him to go to his room and get some sleep. But Dean just can’t bring himself to disturb Castiel’s peaceful slumber. Finals must have really knocked it out of him. 

And if Dean gets a little joy out of having Castiel this close to him, well that’s no one else’s business but his own. 

*  *  * 

“Okay I just need you guys to sign a few documents before we get started.” Charlie explains. “I know you’ve seen most of these before with the other studies but there’s a couple new ones in there so make sure you look at them carefully. Dean.” She raises an eyebrow at him. 

Dean looks up from where he’d been scanning the papers Charlie handed them when they walked into the classroom. His face is a picture of perfect innocence and offence of being accused of such things. 

“Don’t pull that face, Dean. Charlie is right, you can be rather lackadaisical with important documentation.” Castiel says, his eyes never leaving the papers he’s reading. 

Trust Castiel to know exactly how Dean would react without even looking at him. And lackadaisical? Who even says that? God, Castiel is such a fucking dork. 

Papers thoroughly read and signed, Charlie takes Dean and Castiel into a smaller room with two stools next to each other in the middle. A pretty simple set up compared to some of the things they’ve been part of. 

“Take a seat. It doesn’t matter which seat you take, just make sure you’re both facing me.” Charlie instructs. 

Both boys do as asked. 

“Okay, from now on neither of you can talk to the other. You can only talk to me. Understand?” 

Dean and Castiel give identical nods. 

“Good. This is the first stage. There is another one after and we will give you more information about that once this one is finished.” Charlie continues. “Much like your video submission, for this round you will be answering questions based on living together.” 

Dean tries to concentrate on what Charlie is saying but the stools really are close together and Castiel’s knee is knocking against his own. The small spot of warmth from the other man both relaxes and makes Dean anxious at the same time. But Dean daren’t move his leg away. Castiel would wonder why he’d moved away and probably get a little pouty frown on his face. The same as he did the night before when Dean had finally got up from the couch because he needed the bathroom. 

“And remember, the main rule of these questions is: what happens in this room stays in the room. Got it?”

Dean swallows and nods. He’d missed a bit of what Charlie had said but he’d probably figure it out. 

“Awesome. Let’s begin.” Charlie smiles. “First question: what do you like most about living together?” 

Dean knows what he’d like to answer but he’ll never confess. Instead, he goes for a more playful answer. “I like that Castiel gets free donuts from his job at the coffee shop.” 

From the corner of his eye he can see Castiel roll his eyes. “I like that Dean has a brother that I can have much more intellectually stimulating conversations with,” Castiel replies with a smug face. 

Dean would argue but he’s not allowed to speak directly to Castiel. (And to be honest, his brother may only be eighteen but he is freakishly clever.)

Charlie smirks and shakes her head as she writes down their answers. 

“Next: What do you hate most about living together?” 

This time Castiel gets his answer in first. “I hate that Dean leaves dirty socks around the apartment.” 

Now Dean rolls his eyes. Castiel is always nagging Dean about his socks. They didn’t need to come all the way down here for Castiel to get that off his chest. 

“I hate that you always put the empty milk carton back in the fridge. It’s gross dude.” 

Castiel levels Dean with a look that says ‘you do that too and you know it’. 

Dean just shrugs. 

After another few questions, the first round is over and Charlie allows them to have a break. Only they’re still not allowed to talk to each other so they go into the first room and sit at either ends. 

Dean is tempted to text Castiel from across the room but he knows Charlie would be hugely pissed if she found out he broke the rules. 

Soon enough, they’re called back into the question room. 

When they enter they’re met with the same two stools but this time there’s a solid white screen between them. 

As they take their seats again, Castiel disappears behind the partition and Dean suddenly realises why it’s probably there. It’s probably an attempt to be more honest with each other because they won’t see the other’s immediate reaction. 

“Okay,” Charlie begins again, “it’s the same rules as before. I’ll ask you some questions again. And remember: what happens in this room, stays in this room.” 

Dean takes a deep breath. He hates being reminded of that. As if Charlie knows he’s not telling the full truth. Which, of course, he isn’t. But they don’t know that. 

“First question: what has been the worst thing about living together?”

Dean internally rolls his eyes, how can he think of another bullshit jokey answer?

His thoughts are stopped by Castiel softly clearing his throat on the other side of the wall. Dean can do nothing but look at Charlie sitting opposite them. She seems to be sending Castiel a kind smile. 

“The worst thing,” Castiel begins, “was that you were hurting so much when your mom died and I couldn’t do anything to help take the pain away.” The end of the sentence comes out in almost a whisper. 

Dean is overwhelmed. He feels like he’s been punched in the gut. He doesn’t often talk about his mother’s death, not even with Castiel. That was one of the lowest moments of his life. But Castiel had been his rock. Cleaning up after him when he was in depressed moods, dragging him out of bars and shoving him in the shower to sober up. God, Dean would have flunked out of college by now if Castiel hadn’t saved him. 

“You did just by being there, man.” Dean whispers, tears coming to his eyes. He takes a small breath and sits in the silence for a few moments. “Dammit, you promise that whatever happens in here, stays in here?” He asks Charlie. 

“Well, from my point of view, yes. I will not discuss the details of your answers outside the parameters of the study, and your names will be anonymised when your data is used in the final report. However, it’s up to you two if it carries on with you outside these four walls. 

Dean takes a shaky breath, letting Charlie’s answer wash over him for a moment. 

“I would never judge you or be angry at you for anything, Dean.” Castiel’s kind voice rumbles through the partition. 

And if that ain’t Castiel summed up perfectly, Dean thinks. Castiel is the most thoughtful and selfless person Dean has ever met. And Dean loves him. 

Dean feels like he might just burst if he doesn’t finally put his feelings into physical words. 

Castiel would forgive Dean of anything. It’s that thought that pushes Dean to take a final, calming deep breath and jump. 

“Fuck it, you wanna know the worst thing about living with Cas?” Dean asks, rhetorically. “It’s that every day I look at him and see everything I could ever want but can never have.” Dean finally confesses. And once the floodgates are open, he finds that he just can’t stop. “It terrifies me that one day he’ll leave for someone better.” 

Dean thinks he can hear a soft noise coming from Castiel’s side but he’s not done. 

“And the thing I really hate the most having Cas as a roommate? It’s that my fucking heart breaks a little more every time he walks through the door because I know one day it’ll be the last.”

Dean can’t bring himself to look at Charlie so he looks down at his hands, nervously playing with them in his lap. 

No sound comes from Castiel’s side and Dean closes his eyes in defeat and sheer regret. He’s ruined everything for sure. He should have known Castiel wouldn’t feel the same. He should have just kept it to himself. 

As if to prove Dean right, he hears footsteps in the quiet room. Footsteps that he’d recognise anywhere. 

Great, Castiel has left which means Charlie’s research is probably ruined too. 

Fuck, shit. Can’t Dean get anything fucking right?

Only, when he listens more carefully, he notices the footsteps aren’t retreating. In fact, they sound like they’re coming closer and closer to Dean. 

Dean finally opens his eyes and lifts his head to see Castiel standing in front of him. The overhead light is positioned perfectly behind his head and creates a ring of pure light around him. 

Castiel silently lifts a hand to Dean’s chin, cupping it ever so slightly. Dean can’t help but fall for Castiel all over again, just looking into his eyes. 

“I know Charlie didn’t ask it yet but would you like to know what I love most about living with you, Dean?”

Dean nods, eyes never leaving Castiel’s. 

“It’s that I fall in love with you more and more every day, and I’m completely helpless to stop it.” 

Dean can’t believe what he’s hearing and assumes this must all be a dream. 

Dream or not, he’s not taking any chances and letting Castiel slip away. 

Dean pushes himself up from his seat to meet Castiel’s lips and bring him into a kiss. 

This definitely isn’t a dream, Dean thinks, he’s never felt something so intense in his life. 

They finally part once Charlie awkwardly clears her throat, reminding them that she’s still there. 

They still don’t turn their attention to her though. Instead, Castiel rests his head against Dean’s and whispers between them “This definitely isn’t staying in this room.” 

-

A/N: I quite liked writing this, I hope you enjoyed reading it! 

Please REBLOG if you liked it. 

If you enjoy my works and would like to be added to my tags list, let me know!

-

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[badromancebullsquid]

I’d like to hear bullsquid thoughts! Animals are cool -Red

Heck yeah!! Thank you for asking :0

I have a theory about bullsquids: they came to xen from a different dimension than vortigaunts and houndeyes. Mainly, this theory is based off of the limb differences of the creatures: houndeyes and vortigaunts have uneven numbers of limbs on average (with houndeyes being tripods, and vortigaunts having 3rd arms). Meanwhile, bullsquids and headcrabs have a relatively even number of limbs (2 legs excluding tail for bullsquids, and an arguable number of limbs for headcrabs but it's seemingly even). This isn’t all the xen creatures, but it’s what I conside the ‘main 4’. Additionally, while it’s functionally impossible to tell what creatures came from where, and most if not all of this can be attributed to design choice, I think bullsquids came from a different dimension because of how they look in general. Instead of having central eyes (whether compound or seperated), their eyes are on the sides of their head, and they seem to lack center features, mostly. (Especially when compared to typical ‘xen’ creatures, such as the alien grunt, the alien controller or vortigaunts.) This is mostly just me thinking about the origin of Xen creatures in general but!! I think it’s fun to think about :0

Additionally: in one chapter of Half-Life 1 (in Power Up, i believe), there’s a bullsquid found entirely underwater! This blew me away at first because while I’m familiar with the concept of bullsquids being amphibious (see their names and them generally being found in liquids or liquid-like substances), this implies bullsquids can survive fully underwater :0 I always viewed them as a creature that, especially on earth, is harmed by too much exposure to the atmosphere, thus why they try to hide in enclosed spaces or caves (on Xen or earth) or stay in water or other things similar! (Not sure if radioactive waste counts but. Y’know. It’s the thought that counts) just!! I have a lot of thoughts on xen creatures in general :0 thank you for asking!! :3

[linhlotus]

Tales of Lovebug and Kitty Noir Ch 5: Pixelator.

Marinette walked out of the elevator and past the front desk.

“Failed as a gopher already, Dupain-Cheng?” She heard Chloe laugh from the desk.

Marinette ignored her and kept walking, but before she was out of earshot, she heard Adrien say, “I’ll be right back. There’s something I forgot to do.”

She was a few blocks away from the hotel when she felt the eyes. When Marinette turned, though, she didn’t see anyone watching her. She shivered and started walking faster.

Even after she got to the Eiffel tower, she still couldn’t shake the feeling of someone watching her, so she backtracked to a nearby alley to see who it was. When no one followed her, she thought she was imagining things.

“What’s a pretty little lady like you doing in a place like this?”

Marinette whirled around. “Oh, it’s just you,” she sighed.

“Did I scare you?” he smiled. It was a kind smile that made Marinette melt.

“Yes,” she admitted.

“Sorry, Purrincess. I wasn’t trying to.” He rubbed the back of his neck.

“It’s fine, Kitty. Do you want to help me?”

“With what?”

“I need to get Jagged Stone some Eiffel Tower glasses with the Parisian flag on them,” Marinette explained.

“I’d love to help.”

“Okay, let’s go then.” Marinette motioned for him to follow and started walking out of the alley.

Chat grabbed her arm. “Hey, where do you think you’re going?” he grinned

She looked back at him, quizzically. “To the Eiffel Tower? Where was I supposed to go?”

“Don’t you want me to give you a lift?”

“Oh. Yes, please,” she smiled up at him. The prospect of being so close to him was too good to pass up.

He scooped her up and readied his baton. “Hold on, M’lady.”

She wrapped her arms around his neck. It felt wonderful to be in his arms, pressed against his chest. It felt safe. She wasn’t even scared when Chat leaped up to a nearby roof. Although, part of that may have been because she did this as Lovebug.

Chat landed near the Eiffel Tower and set her on her feet. Was it her or was he reluctant to let go of her?

They saw a vendor selling sunglasses with little Eiffel Towers on the sides. Marinette was about to buy a pair when Chat set his hand on her shoulder. She turned and looked up at him. “What is it?”

“Don’t you think it would be better to make sure the glasses are exactly how he wanted them before you give them to him? That way, you won’t have to redo it and if you got it out of the way, we could go get that ice cream you promised me.” He smiled, his eyes twinkling.

She had an idea. “Hey, Chat, can you take me to my room? I need to get something.”

“Of course, Purrincess.”

------

“And . . . Voila!” Marinette held up her masterpiece. She turned to Chat. “What do you think?”

“They’re way better than the ones you almost bought at the tower. I’m sure he’ll love them. I might just buy a pair myself,” he grinned.

“You don’t have to buy them, I’ll make a pair just for you. You can call it a present for saving the city every day.”

“Hey, maybe I could model your designs!”

“Really?!” That way, they could see each other all the time! “I can pay you in sweets.”

“I wouldn’t say no to that . . .” he rubbed the back of his neck. “Why don’t we drop off these amazing shades and then we can write a contract.”

“Perfect! Come on.” They made their way to the balcony and Chat picked her up again. Oh, this was heavenly!

He leaped to the hotel and set her down. When they walked in, no one was there. Not Chloe, not Adrien, not even the hotel staff. Where was everyone? Marinette heard a series of muffled screams and crashes from above.

She rushed toward the stairs, yelling after Chat to follow her.“Come on!”

“Wait, Marinette, it could be an Akuma!” Chat rushed to keep up.

“Then I can help.”

“But you might get hurt!”

“Not if you’re there to save me.” Marinette stopped in her tracks catching him a bit off guard. Going by his side, she grabbed his shoulders and gave him no option but to look solely at her. “I'll be fine. It's probably nothing.”

“If it’s an Akuma, you have to leave immediately.”

“Deal,” she agreed. “Now let’s go check it out.”

She turned and they made their way up, checking each floor before moving on. When they got to the fourth floor, Marinette saw a man with what looked like a camera attached to his face. He watched them for a second and then pressed a button on his head.

Chat dived in front of her as a flash of white enveloped them.

When she regained her senses, all she saw was white.

A thud resounded around her and she looked down to see Chat on the floor. “Are you okay, Kitty?” she asked, kneeling next to him.

“Yeah, I’m fine, but what about you?”

“I’m alright. Where are we?”

“I don’t know, let’s see if we can find a way out.”

After walking for a few minutes and seemingly getting nowhere, Marinette looked to the side and saw- a crocodile?

“Chat, look. Isn’t that Jagged’s crocodile?”

“Watch out, M’lady, I’ll protect you.” Chat leaped in front of her and brandished his staff. “This is all my fault, I never should have let you come with me.”

“No, Kitty, look at me. We’re both fine. We just need to make a plan. If I hadn’t come, I would’ve worried about you the whole time.”

He considered this for a moment. “Fine let’s go make a plan, but we’d better put some distance between us and the crocodile.”

They started walking and it didn’t take Marinette long to come up with an idea. “Hey, we haven’t tried going up.”

“That’s true . . . but what if you fall?”

“I won’t.” She grabbed his arm. “Come on, let’s try it.”

Chat sighed and picked her up. “Hold on.”

She wrapped her arms around his neck and laid her head on his chest which seemed to make him relax ever so slightly. Chat pressed a button on his baton and they shot upward.

After a few minutes, Chat pressed another button and they stopped. “It’s no use. It just keeps going.”

“Let’s go back down and try something else.”

He nodded and brought them down.

“Why don’t you try your cataclysm? If it doesn’t work, I’ll turn around when you change back,” she suggested as he set her on her feet.

“That might work!” Chat said and Marinette could see that he believed it was the best idea yet. “CATACLYSM!” he said and slammed his hand against the ground.

The ground cracked and disappeared and Marinette grabbed Chat’s arm for support. They reappeared in the hotel with Jagged’s crocodile bellowing down the hall.

“Let’s get out of here,” Chat said.

“I agree.” They backed into the stairwell and slammed the door behind them before running to the first floor where Chloe was throwing a tantrum.

“This is all your fault, Dupain-Cheng!” Chloe screamed when she saw Marinette.

“How is this my fault?”

“If you had been at the hotel like you were supposed to be, that hooligan wouldn’t have targeted me.” Chloe flipped her hair. “Because of you, my hair is ruined and Adrikins is nowhere to be seen!” she whined, turning to Kim and pretending to cry on his chest.

Marinette was fuming.

How could Chloe accuse her like that? She was the one that gave Marinette the job of ‘gopher’ anyway! If anyone was to blame, it was Chloe, herself. Not that she would admit it.

Chat settled his hand on her shoulder and she looked up at him, her expression softening. “Just ignore her, she’s not worth it.”

Marinette nodded. She knew he was right it was just hard with Chloe constantly getting on her nerves.

They walked out of the hotel and saw the Akuma again. This time, he was preoccupied with a civilian down the road, but he turned to them once they disappeared.

“So, you escaped. That won’t happen again.” He noticed Marinette. “Ah, who is this? Is she your girlfriend?” Marinette and Chat both blushed and looked away. “She’s very pretty. She’ll go very nicely with my other photographs. What do you think, Chat Noir? Wouldn’t she look good next to Jagged Stone and Clara Nightingale?”

Chat glared at him. And- was he growling? Marinette had never seen him so mad. It was kind of fascinating to compare to the soft expression he so often gave to her. She felt honored that it was on her behalf, but at the same time, he was scary.

“Oh, didn’t mean to jiggle your tripod.” The Akuma laughed.

Marinette rolled her eyes. “That was so bad.”

“Hey! You’ll pay for that!”

He pressed a button on his head and Chat knocked her to the ground just in time, but her arm still got hit. Chat grinned at her from a few inches away. “You just keep falling for me, don’t you?”

“This isn’t the best time, Chat.”

“Sorry, M’lady. Couldn’t help myself.”

He stood up and offered her his hand. When she tried to accept it, though, her hand went right through. Chat looked horrified.

She couldn’t quite understand what was going on. She hadn’t been hit directly so she’d thought she was in the clear, but maybe it just had different effects. Marinette tried again with her other hand. This time, it worked. She just couldn’t use her right hand.

He let go of her hand and instead picked her up. “Hold on, Purrincess. Let’s get you somewhere safe.”

Marinette wrapped her good arm around Chat’s neck and let her other one hang by her side. Chat leaped onto the roof of a neighboring building.

They arrived at her balcony and Chat set her down on her chair. He was about to leave, but she grabbed his tail. “We have to figure out where the akuma is. You said Lovebug was unavailable for a while, maybe she’s still busy.”

She couldn’t let Chat know she was Lovebug and he was sure to find out if she transformed with her arm out of commission. What were the chances that two people who looked remarkably similar would have gotten the exact same injury at the same time? He’d never believe that.

He turned back to her.

“So we need to get something to trap the akuma in and you can deliver it to Lovebug with the other one.”

“You’re right. Any ideas?” he asked, sitting in front of her.

She thought for a moment. His weapon was on his head so that could be it. Did he have anything that didn’t match his outfit? She didn’t think so. That was their best bet.

“I can’t think of anything other than his camera. What about you?”

“I agree with you.” He stood up. “I’ll be back when I’m done.”

Marinette stood and adopted a defensive stance, bracing herself for his inevitable objection. “No.”

“What?”

“I’m coming with you.” She crossed her arms. As best she could, anyway.

“Absolutely not. You don’t have a miraculous.”

“Yeah, but I have ideas. And I have you. I know you would never let me get hurt.”

“But I already have,” he growled and gestured to her arm. “You were hurt because I couldn’t save you.”

“Technically not, because it doesn’t actually hurt,” she grinned.

“It doesn’t matter. You’re not coming. I will not put you in danger again.”

“If you don’t take me, I’ll follow you. And then you won’t be able to protect me.”

He glared at her for a few minutes, but Marinette could tell it didn’t have much spite behind it. “Fine, but if I tell you to do something, you listen.”

“Agreed,” she chirped.

He picked her up and she held on to him again.

He leaped to where they’d last seen the akuma and landed in an alley, settling her on her feet.

They looked around the corner and spotted him immediately.

Marinette pulled back and Chat turned to face her. “We need to get close to him.”

He pursed his lips but didn’t argue.

“Do we know what he’s after?”

Chat held up his baton. “Well, let’s check the news.”

They watched a video Nadija had managed to take before she was turned into a photograph, as well as one from Alya. They both said the same thing; the Akuma had been identified as Vincent Asa who now went by Pixelator and he was after Jagged Stone. But, curiously, he wasn’t seeking vengeance. Well, not really. At least, he wasn’t openly threatening Jagged so that had to be an improvement.

“I have a plan. You go recharge and get Jagged. I’ll stay here and wait for you.”

“But-”

She cut him off, “No time to argue, Kitty, just go find him.”

He scowled but extended his baton. “Don’t get near him. Just wait right here until I get back.” Then he was gone though she could still hear him landing on the rooftop. She turned back to keep an eye on Pixelator and found herself looking right at him.

“I see your pretty little kitty left you here all alone.” He pressed a button on his temple and, for the third time that day, a beam of white light shot at her. She jumped to the side, barely getting out of the way in time.

“He’ll be back.” She was confident in that at least, but whether she would make it till then was what worried her. She just had to keep from getting hit and she’d be fine.

After a few minutes of dodging attacks, there was still no sign of Chat and Marinette was getting tired. Pixelator sent another beam of light at her and she leaped out of the way, but when she tried to take another step, she collapsed. Pixelator must have remembered what happened to her arm and decided to incapacitate her before he returned her to her frame.

Marinette tried to scramble away, but with two unusable limbs, she wasn’t going anywhere. She squeezed her eyes shut and waited to be hit by another beam, but there was a yell from somewhere behind the akuma that made her eyes fly open.

“Hey, leave her alone!”

It was Chat! Perfect timing!

“A little bird told me you were looking for someone.”

Jagged Stone stepped out from behind Chat. “Hey, Vincent! I heard you wanted a photo.”

“The name’s Pixelator now. Come here so I can immortalize you.”

Jagged started walking to Pixelator and while he was distracted, Chat rushed over to help her up.

“Are you okay?”

“I’ve been better, but I think I have an idea for how to help Jagged.” She picked up her purse. “Can you open this for me?”

“Sure.” He opened it and was courteous enough not to look inside, which was nice because otherwise, as he would say, ‘the cat would have been out of the bag’. He held it out to her. “Here, I’ll hold it for you.”

“Thanks.” She used her good hand to pull out a small makeup mirror. “Help me over to them.”

“Are you sure abou-”

“Please, Chat.”

He sighed but helped her up and they hobbled over to where Jagged kept repositioning himself in an attempt to stall.

Pixelator was getting fed up. “Enough!” He smiled sadistically. “Look into the lens.”

Marinette hurled the mirror as Jagged braced himself for a hit that never came. Instead, the beam bounced off her mirror and hit Pixelator. He vanished, leaving the visor in his place.

“Great job, Purrincess!”

“Did you bring something to capture the akuma with?” she asked.

He held up a jar. “Yeah.”

“Go, quick so no one can do any more damage.”

He snapped it and a purple butterfly fluttered out, its wings glittering evilly in the sun. Before it could go more than a few feet, it was caught in a jar and a lid was snapped over it.

Chat turned back to her. “Do you want me to take you home before I go look for Lovebug?”

“That would be nice,” she admitted.

He scooped her up which was really awkward after what Pixelator had done to her. She held onto him with her good arm as he jumped across the rooftops. When they got to her house, he opened her skylight and lowered her onto her bed.

Marinette waited until she was sure he was gone before calling Tikki out of her purse. “We have to fix this and purify the akumas. TIKKI, SPOTS ON! LUCKY CHARM!” A mirror fell into her hand.

Marinette waited until she was sure he was gone before calling Tikki out of her purse. “We have to fix this and purify the akumas. TIKKI, SPOTS ON! LUCKY CHARM!” A mirror fell into her hand. </p>

“A little late for that. Don’t you think? Oh, whatever. It doesn’t matter anymore.” She threw the mirror into the air. “MIRACULOUS LADYBUG!” Ladybugs flew all around her and she sighed as she regained the feeling in her arm and leg.

“Time to go find Chat.” Lovebug opened her skylight and swung away. When she finally found Chat, he was leaping toward Notre Dame. “Chat Noir! Chat Noir!” she called.

He turned and they landed on a roof to talk. “Sorry I’m late. I had some trouble getting away. Do you have the akumas?”

“Yeah.” He handed them to her.

As Lovebug opened the jars, she told him that she had already used her lucky charm and the miraculous cure so she had only a few minutes. She purified the akumas and leaped back to her house as fast as she could, detransforming as she dropped onto her bed.

A few minutes later, Chat popped his head in. “Hey, Purrincess. Ready to go drop off Jagged’s glasses and get some ice cream?”

“Yeah, let me just go get a notebook. We still have to write that contract.”

When Marinette got home after her afternoon with Chat, all she could do was lay on her chaise and sigh. The day had been perfect and she hoped they could do something similar together soon.

Thank you to my wonderful beta @valiantlyjollynightmare!

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[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

She [9]

Warnings: non-consent sex (fingering, toy play, dildo, butt plug); violence

This is dark! Steve and explicit. 18+ only.

Series Synopsis: Steve Rogers’ life is turned upside down by a reporter.

Chapter Summary: The reader finds herself trapped.

Note: Thanks to everyone for their patience and feedback. :)

I really hope you enjoy. 💋

<3 Let me know what you think with a like or reblog or reply or an ask! Love ya!

Reader

You were shaking. Your veins flowed with fire and yet the basement was frigid. You watched Steve’s broad shoulders as he bent over the plastic drawers. You could hear him sifting around though you couldn’t see through what exactly. He stood straight and you trembled.

He turned as he extended the legs of the tripod. He was deliberate as he spread them and pulled out a small camera. He secured it and looked to your as his finger hovered over the button.

“Do you mind if I record this?” He taunted. You grunted and he pressed a button.

You tugged on the hook but only managed to swing your feet. It took you a moment to get your toes steady on the floor. As he reached into the drawer again, you bared your teeth, helpless as the restraints stretched your arms above you. 

The breath went out of you as you saw what he held. It was all too familiar. The rabbit was yours; the same purple hue. You’d found it missing a few days before but merely thought you’d moved it without thinking. He lifted the silicon as he admired the length and neared.

“How--” Your voice fizzled as his eyes flared and you clasped your lips shut.

“It’s a good start,” He taunted. “But nothing compared to the real thing.”

He hit the small button hidden by the small arm. The toy began to buzz and he poked it against your cheek so that your teeth chattered. He dragged it down your neck and chest. He held it there and jabbed you with it sharply.

“I’m trying to figure out if that’s fear… or something else,” He smirked. “Your heart is racing.”

You opened your mouth and tasted the blood along your lip. You closed your mouth again and thought better of talking. Your cheek was still throbbing.

The dildo tickled you as he pushed it lower. He pressed it to your stomach and traced along the waist of your pants. You gulped back a breath as he inched onward. He stopped again, just along your vee. He came closer and grabbed the back of your head. 

He forced the toy between your legs roughly and pushed it against your cunt. He clicked the button again and it buzzed faster. Once more and you could feel it clearly through your pants. He pulled your head back and his blue eyes bore into you.

“You like to play innocent, don’t you?” He sneered. “But you’ve been hiding this…” He pushed harder and you winced. “Whew, listen to that heart go.”

Your thighs squeezed around his hand and shook. He began to move the rabbit against you and you felt your panties getting damp. You closed your eyes in shame and he released your head only to smack it.

“Look at me,” He hissed. Your eyes snapped open and he grabbed your chin, adding to the tenderness in your jaw.

“Steve,” You rasped as you tried to wiggle away from him.

“Shut up.” He snarled. “The only thing I want to hear from that mouth is you cumming.”

You whined and sealed your lips. The ripples spread from the toy into you. The waves spread from your core and along your spine. Your shoes slipped on the floor and your breath picked up. His hand wrapped around your neck again and he leaned in so that his nose touched yours as he rubbed you faster.

“Let me hear it,” He said. “I can see it--”

“Ahhh,” The small gasp burst from your lips. 

You tried to swallow it back but he didn’t let up. Your eyes watered as you gulped like a fish and the long moan escaped you. It rose to a fever pitch and you bared your teeth as the carnal cry was torn from your body. Your back arched without thinking and your thighs clenched around his hand as you came.

He snickered and ripped his hand from between your legs. He shoved you so you swung from the hook and shut the toy off. He tucked it in his front pocket, it barely kept from tipping out. He rounded you again, like a hawk. You hung your head and measured your breaths.

“Just like every other pest on this planet, you don’t realise how much you owe me.” He stopped in front of you again. “You owe me your life and that’s what I’m gonna have.”

He grabbed the front of your blouse. He tore it easily, the frills shred in half as it split to the hem. He snapped the right strap of your bra and then the left. He ripped it from you as the hooks popped out of the back and dropped it at your feet. The fabric of your shirt draped loosely from your shoulders and exposed your chest.

He tweaked your nipple and made another circle around you. He pressed himself to your back and reached around to undo your fly. He shoved his hand down your pants and felt along the cotton of your underwear. He tutted and drew his hand away. He grabbed the sides of your trousers and tore them down.

“You’re wet.” He remarked. “But you stand there and act like I’m such a bad guy.”

“Stop,” You begged weakly.

He untangled your pants from your ankles and threw them aside with your wedged shoes. He bunched the side of your panties in his hand and turned you to face him.

“What was that? You giving me orders?” He challenged. You shook your head in fear. “Despite all the trouble you’ve caused, I’m still the captain. You listen to me.” He wrenched your panties down and let them fall along your legs. “The only words you will speak are ‘yes, Captain’.” He turned you away from him and slapped your ass. It stung and you groaned through your teeth. “Nothing else. Understood?”

You shuddered and he smacked you again. This time it sent a pang up to your shoulders. You whimpered as your eyes dampened.

“That’s when you answer me, bitch.”

“Yes… Captain,” You said, hissing through the pain.

“Louder,” He slapped you again.

“Yes! Captain!” You called out as your legs quivered beneath you.

“Better,” He rubbed your sore flesh. “You’ll have lots of time to practice.”

He spun you back to him and took the toy from his pocket. He waved it before you and watched it intently.

“You use this a lot?” He asked. “I replaced the batteries, don’t you worry.”

You looked to the ceiling, your wrists ached from the cuffs.

“You seem the lonely type. Repressed.” He brushed the toy against your thighs and you closed your legs. “Off chasing your little fairy tales.” He pinched you. “Open those fucking legs.”

You parted your legs and he pushed the silicon against your cunt. He waited, silently.

“Yes, Captain,” You breathed.

“Good,” He purred and clicked the button. The toy pulsed against you and quickly rekindled the flickering flame. “Back then, before all this, women like you never made it far. They all just ended up in the exact place they were running away from; a horde of children tugging at their skirts.”

You were quiet as you kept your eyes above you.

“They say those weren’t the good ole days. Say we were wrong,” He clicked the button again. “But they don’t know. They can’t.” He dragged the toy along your folds, lingering on your clit before repeating the motion. “Look at me.”

Your eyes flitted down to him. He stepped even closer and angled the toy against your entrance. He turned it so the little arm faced him. You tried to say something but your voice died as he shoved the dildo inside you. He clicked the button again and the arm pressed against your clit.

“That’s it,” He began to move the toy, slowly. “I see it. You don’t want that life. You know it’s not meant for you.” He grasped the back of your head and pressed his cheek to yours as his breath grazed your ear. “You know this is where you belong. You knew that day… you knew what you were doing.”

“No…” You gulped.

“What?” He pushed the toy to its limit. “What did you say?”

You squeaked but kept silent.

“I never want to hear that word. You got me?” He growled.

“Yes, Captain,” You forced out.

“I don’t want to break that face,” He warned. “I really don’t.”

“Yes, Captain,” You whined as he thrust the toy in and out.

“Come on,” He sped up as the vibrations had your nerves whirring. “Don’t you want the real thing?” Your pussy made slick sounds as he pounded the toy into you. “You come and I’ll let you have it.” He slammed it in hard. “Come.”

You grabbed onto the metal clasp above you and your feet arched painfully. Your legs tensed as he worked the toy inside of you, over and over. You panted desperately and tossed your head back. You squealed as you came and the pleasure rolled over you like crashing tides.

He held the toy inside of you and let it buzz as he drew back and knelt to watch you shake. His eyes focused between your legs as he slowly pulled the dildo out and rubbed his fingers through your cum. He shook his head as he stood and clicked the toy off. He pressed it to your lips.

“A good woman cleans up after herself.”

He pushed until it hurt and you opened your mouth. He shoved the rabbit to the back of your mouth, the arm pushed painfully against the roof of your mouth. You nearly choked as he jammed it in and out several times and you tasted yourself on the silicon. You gagged and he tore it out suddenly. You barely held back the wave of nausea as he admired the string of spit hanging off the toy.

“Almost there,” He keened as he stepped around you. 

He placed the rabbit atop the stack of drawers and opened another. You heard a soft metallic rustle and he turned to you with a thin metal chain. He watched the silver sparkle in the light as he came close. 

“I never knew much about this stuff but with all this time off, I had a lot of time to shop around.” He grinned. “Things I never even thought of before.”

He clipped one of the metal clamps over your nipple and you flinched. He did the other and you curled your fingers into a fist. The other end hung down your stomach and dangled in front of your pelvis. He reached down and lined up the clamp with your clit. He secured it around your swollen bud and you let out a tortured cry.

He backed up and was once more at the drawers. You shied away from the lens as the red light shone back at you. He flipped open the cap of a bottle as he returned to you and the shape in his other hand was a blur. You flinched away as he touched your ass and spread your cheeks.

The cool liquid flowed around your hole and you teetered on your toes. You tried to step away from him but only managed to stumble. He growled in warning and he rubbed around your ring with his fingertip. He slowly pushed until he was inside, just a little, and he drew his finger in and out as he carefully stretched you.

He pushed another in and you exclaimed. The burning pain intensified and he impaled you to his knuckles.

“Tight ass bitch,” He laughed darkly and pulled out.

You felt another prod in place of his fingers and you tried to turn away. He slapped your ass and tossed the lube across the floor.

“So much for being nice,” He hit the back of your head and grabbed your shoulder. “We can do it the hard way.”

He pushed and the shape slowly stretched your ring. Your breath was laboured as it only got wider and wider. You mewled pathetically and a tear trickled down your cheek. The fullness was unbearable as the plug reached its limit and your hole puckered around its stems. You wiped your face on your arm.

He circled round you and his hand went to his hips as he took you in.

“Now, the real fun starts.” He announced as his lips curved.

[marshmallowprotection]

It wasn’t a surprise to see him working so hard. Whenever she had the inkling that Ray was around, she knew that he was going to be putting too much effort into something. 

It had taken a while to spot differences between the way that Ray held himself compared to the way that Saeran did. He looked at the floor if he was prompted, not wanting to meet someone’s gaze. He also fidgeted as his fingers tugged at the ends of his sleeves when he spoke. 

Now, it had certainly taken some coaxing on not only her part but on Saeran’s as well to get Ray to do things that he wanted to do instead of spending a lot of his time trying to take care of things that often were out of their control. He felt like he had to take care of things, even if everyone struggled with that certain area. 

It wasn’t hard for Ray to do things but there was always the sense of longing in his eyes of wanting something more to do with his time. This freedom was not something to scoff at, he just didn’t know what he had the right to do now that he wasn’t back at Mint Eye. 

Getting him to talk about his interests wasn’t easy. Lila had discerned that they actually had common ground. He knew more about flowers than she did, and that was saying something because she’d spent her entire life working in and being around a flower shop. 

She’d managed to get him to talk without fear in his body for nearly twenty minutes because his fingers brushed against a photo album that she’d been working on. 

He mentioned off-handedly that he used to take photos of flowers all the time back at Magenta, and that he missed doing that because it made him feel like he had control over what he was seeing and what it felt like to exist in a single moment. 

The dissociation was always rough on him. He didn’t like feeling trapped or forgetting what it felt like to have the sunlight on his skin. That was when she hatched a plan to help him do that again. It just a little bit of trickery to get him out of the bunker for a little while. 

Lila had asked him if he would come help her with one of her photoshoots, it wasn’t a big deal. Her passion as a Lolita was her side hobby and she trained herself to take her own photos back when she was a much younger so that it had become second nature, but Ray didn’t know that. He seemed reluctant to help her because he’d noted, “Oh, I’m not really good at taking photos...” 

“Nonsense!” she’d reassured him. “These are just for my collections, not for anyone else to see. I have tripod and everything, you just have to hit the switch for me. The fresh air might do you good. I know it’s stuffy in here, and besides, I’m specifically doing a Country themed set and it’s the season for a few of my favorite flowers. You argued with me into the ground about how much you’d like to prove to me that certain color varieties look better in person. Why not prove that theory?” 

He didn’t really have any argument when she phrased it like that. She’d caught him by the wrist and taken him out for the afternoon. It had been really fun that day. She’d managed to get Ray to warm up a little and to smile. Being around flowers and nature seemed to make him feel at home. Granted, she’d tricked him by asking for help—

But, it hadn’t taken long to allow him to borrow her camera to play around with as she handled some costume and accessory changes. Of course, Ray had reasoned it away as wanting to help her work on her photo albums because she’d gathered a collection of flower photos as well as photos of her friends and family. She knew that he was covering his own interests. 

But, this was clearly something he wanted to explore more. 

Perhaps, that was why he’d been spending more time in her workroom with that excuse on his lips. He often went out with her now to take photos and work on all of these projects. She was just glad to see him opening up on his own and hoped that he’d admit that he wanted to do more of this on his own.

Lila would give him time to be honest with himself. She gave a few taps on the door to catch his attention, and he looked back over his shoulder in her direction with a smile. He was wearing a pink sweater with some flower embroidery, which Saeran would never wear in his life without her asking for it. He seemed to be fiddling with some of the photo prints. 

“Having fun?” she asked. 

“Oh,” he looked back at his work. “I was just... checking to make sure that it was okay for you.” 

“Aw, thank you, Ray,” Lila crossed the room and leaned against the back of the chair that he was sitting in. She pressed her hands against his shoulder and leaned forward to get a look at his collection. There were primrose and azalea to be specific. “You know, you’re really good at that. I’m kind of jealous. You make it look like I’m seeing it for the first time again.” 

His fingers toyed with the ends of his sleeves, “Ah. Thank you, Lila. But um, I don’t know about that. I’m just an amateur... I don’t really know what I’m doing here. Or why I’m still... fixating on this.” 

“I don’t think it’s weird,” she clarified with a smile. The reassurance was what he needed. “You don’t have to know every little detail about something to be good at it, or to enjoy it. I mean, when I was just getting started dressing up when I was younger, I made a lot of mistakes but I had fun learning how to do it better along the way. What mattered was that I had fun.” 

He was trying his best. It was hard for Ray, having been gone for years and then awake again in a world so unlike his own. He was doing the best that he could and it showed, but it was one of those things that she knew that she’d never truly understand firsthand. 

“...” 

“I think you should keep taking photos if it makes you happy,” she said. “You don’t have to make an excuse to go out with me to do it. Okay? What’s mine is yours, and I trust you. I’ve never seen you look happier then when you’re doing this with me, and I know it’s not because of me. It’s because you’re doing that you like.” 

Ray shook his head. He dared to look back at her for a moment but his wavering gaze was tentative and often looking away from hers. “No— No, I like hanging out with you, too,” he quickly answered. “I hope you don’t— I hope you don’t think that I’m using you. I—I would never—” 

“Ray,” Lila’s voice was stern but gentle. “I know you wouldn’t. I’m glad to hear that you like spending time with me, too. But, I know you wanna explore a lot more of this instead of taking pictures of me all the time. I mean, you can still do that if you want, but... if you’re taking photos like this of flowers, I kind of want to see you keep doing it. Who knows what you’ll show me next. Your perspective of the world is something I’d love to see.”

“Is it... is it okay to do something that I want, though?”

“Why wouldn’t it be?”

“...It’s not something that Saeran likes,” was his quiet answer. “I don’t want to make him uncomfortable.” 

She shook her head. “Hey, it’s not just about him. You have interests and things that you want to do, just as much as Grave does, or Saeran does, or even Su-Jin. What gives you less of a right to do something then say, Grave does? You know that he’s been spending an awful amount of time practicing the violin as of late, even though it’s not something Saeran’s interested in. So, why can’t you be able to take photos?” 

Ray didn’t really have anything to say to argue against it. She knew that he didn’t have anything, but he wished that he did. He felt like he had crashed into Saeran’s life and taken things from him, and it was selfish for him to grab what he wanted. That’s how he saw it. It wasn’t a fact but Ray often felt like that was how it was. 

“Are you sure?” he asked.

“One-hundred percent, Ray,” she leaned forward and brushed her lips against his cheek. “If you want to keep doing this, you should ask Saeran how he feels about it so you can have have your hobby and explore it when you’ve got some free time.” 

His skin began to burn ear to ear but he seemed to take it to heart. “Thank you... for saying that, Lila.” 

[vcsecretgifts]

Snap shot in time

From: @auburnandamberangel

Merry Christmas @plopofcolour Qotd era Khayman and Armand interaction on the Night Island. Hope you like ^u^

~~~

Armand watched Khayman looking at his upper terrace garden, the plants benefiting not only from the sunshine but also the seaspray. The cacti, the large Saguaros with their armed tall appearance especially had captured the ancients fascination. The silhouettes classic to many a western. They weren’t indigenous to Egypt, effectively a new world plant, and certainly capturing this until recently slumbering vampire. Perhaps as they too were long lived, slow in maturing. He had his cameras slung over his neck and shoulder wanting to capture the bloom on one of them, a first. He recorded all of them on this island. Mementos.

Khayman was a very good guest, polite, and surprisingly unaloof compared to other vampires of a similar age. ‘Mr manners leaves their bodies after the first few thousand years!’ Daniel had observed dryly not to long ago as they say in said same garden, watching the waves. Sitting on the stone steps, snuggly between Daniels stretched out legs. Barely dead himself, so manys ways appeared rude by his modern standards. “Not all are…impolite.” Daniel had nodded, smiling almost as if he’d read his mind and knew he was thinking of the Egyptian. Which was impossible, he just people watched very well. And surely he was an expert in Armand observations by now.

“Ahh but Khayman was nice as a human, not many airs on him plus he’s sweet on you. So you’re the last person he’d be short with.” Interestingly not too much jealousy in that statement. A small possessive kiss to the top of his head, caressing of his arms about his waist. Their guests came and went, things were more peaceful minus some of their vampire brethren. Peaceful between them even. Born in a time of crisis, his home even invaded it wasn’t ideal for them even with a notorious nosey parker like his fledgling. He’d borne so much strain at his hands before being turned, it worried Armand. Sometimes they fought as he instinctually pulled back.

“The fact he’s easy on the eye doesn’t hurt much either does it.” Daniel added laughter in his voice. Teasing. Armand smiled despite himself turning his head. “But I’m famous for a penchant for blondes darling aren’t I.”

“Except Louis.” His beloved kissing his dimples. And others he’d best not mention. Not eager to quote that book at him right now.

“Hmmmm. Nice to not always be predictable then.” Kissing Daniels matching smile. It had ended up being a very good evening that night. Allowing himself to bask in the glow of the memory of it.

Khayman found the sea soothing, the air fresh and the garden a magical oasis. A small movement betrayed his hosts presence, rare to not have an exuberant Daniel or hesitant brooding Marius in orbiting attendance around Armand. Moths to this ’cherubs’ - seraphin now surely more apts flame- A ethereal beauty no matter the flowery language. In his time one destined to be blessed by the gods. A soul just as full of substance as his appearance. To think without her, the mother waking he’d probably not have crossed paths with this one. So artful at cloaking his presence. Deep in thought he was looking at him, but not really seeing him. Caught in a recollection. Unguarded he looked so young, in the eyes the depth and knowledge in them gave his age away. This was the way with their kind. Trapped in their making, the soul grew seen through the orbs alone. Somehow still warmth there, if the mood was right. A miracle considering the heartache had been through in so far centuries. He would do much to make sure he didn’t make those eyes cold. Watching this former coven master navigate so many vampires in his sanctuary, first love mingling with last. Struck by the poise. The former parents guardian, the Roman made said face light up and close down in equal measure. Not his place to intervene ofcourse, though tempting. Best to announce his presence, so Armand didn’t feel too exposed.

“Armand, good evening. Was there something I can aid you with?” Smooth heavily accented voice totally interrupting his reverie. “Did you want private time in your garden?” Previously observed vampire catching him unawares, hoping he hadn’t left himself open to scrutiny thoughts wise. His mind usually locked up tight, some of the first brood lacked finesse with the mind gift, it coming to them later. But what they lacked in finesse, could be made up by brute force alone. Being Marius’ blood line vicariously provided some civility that otherwise may not exist, for a not even five hundred year old former cult coven leader. Ageism was alive and well in their surviving group from Akashas cull. As if age always came with wisdom… Khayman had been gentle and respectful in his manner towards him. Armand appreciated this from his most recent friend. He saw him as he was, no judgement.

“No not at all. I take pleasure in seeing enjoyment from my garden. The cacti have you in their thrall I see.” Genuine smile to the ancient. Moving closer. The garden lit by coloured uplights here and there to make it appealing.

“They are exotic to my old eyes, yes. Beautiful yet dangerous. So like us I feel.” Small smile back. “Your a gracious host, I know it’s not in most of your nature’s to live on mass for long. You’ve been patient where you could have been firm. Silent when you could have spoken.” Khaymans turn to watch and enjoy the view that had nothing to do with the garden, but more it’s creator.

“Ah well, tact or diplomacy is something I’ve always had to have. Never to speak unless it improves the silence or my position in it.” Being quite open now in this admission. Unusually candid for himself truly. He didn’t think he’d regret it in this situation.

“The lone jackel is a hard role to break, though it’s served you well.” The ancient replied. Looking back at the cacti. “How old is this one then?”

“This one is around seventy years. It’s the first year it’s flowered, you’re lucky to have witnessed it.” Itching to take a picture of the flower, and perhaps Khayman too if he was truthful with himself. Just incase his stay was brief and centuries passed until another meeting of minds. “But they can live to around one hundred and seventy five perhaps even two hundred years. Not bad for a desert dweller.”

Khayman eyed the camera, that was the term wasn’t it. One of the magical picture capturers. “You’ll record it with this?” He hadn’t tried anything new in a while. Armand was patient, the best person to ask to try. “How?” He uttered before he had time to edit.

Inquisitive and open to instruction, not your average elder. Refreshing like the sea breeze. “I need a tripod, unless you can hold it steady as a rock. I’ll do both.” Zipping inside and then back out to get it. “I’ll need a long exposure to make the most of the moon light, and a flash for my close ups. The window inside opens for the picked time, the light hits the film and makes an imprint like an eye I suppose but in reverse, or inverse a negative. We can use the darkroom next.” Twinkle in his eye as he saw the ancients eyes widen. “The Polaroid develops as you shake it.” It must sound odd to the others ears.

“Witchcraft then. I’m an apprentice to a modern sorcerer.” Pleased by the laugh this comment brought from Armand.

“Usually I’m called bewitching. But I’ve been accused of worse.” Daniels words echoing in his head, pleased he didn’t blush as easily as said youngblood.

Gingerly taking the camera and going still, statue like as he could. A trick you learnt which came easily with age. Though it usually unnerved younger immortals. *Direct me as if I’m a tripod.* He said is the mind voice. Armands softer hands aiming the slr camera for a closeup. Physical contact was a luxury being a nomad rarely afforded.

Hearing the snap of the inner workings, turning of the spool. With each shot, the flash singing. Armand liked this process, methodical, practised yet still room for error and surprise. *Move back a little so I can get a portrait of it. Perhaps one of and for you to take with you?* Because people leave - eventually. This was always a possibility. Sentiment came with a cost, this he always knew.

A photo to keep. An anchor would be good for times Khayman felt unsteady. Stronger by the year, but wispy in his soul sometimes. A welcome light in the Night Island Villa, to concentrate on. *Yes. A portrait of plant, myself and it’s guardian even better.*

Warm glance, nodding his answer. “This also has a cable to take a photograph at a distance. A bellow balloon, a tube and a metal press.” Screwing it into the button. Then retrieving it from the taller elder. Fixing this on the tripod via it’s own foot. Let’s set ourselves up. Standing and leaning into the framing arms of the cactus, as if the plant was behind them, reaching to hold them close.

Khayman followed the younger ones lead. Moving in closer and realising he could smell Armands hair. Wondering if this was his shampoo or just his natural scent. Vampires sometimes exuded a odour that was unique to them, a spice in the blood perhaps. Marius had made him, imbued with donations by Akasha during his guardianship. Perhaps he had smelt like this in Venice as a mortal. Not something he could easily ask the child of two millennia. Nor share a want to share his blood to strengthen those below a thousand in their coven, truthfully only this one piqued his interest.

Armand had the cord behind his back to depress at just the right moment. Khaymans strong heartrate was hard to ignore so close. “Ready. One two three.” Not using cheese, referring to a dairy product as slang for smiling usually put older vampires in a spin. So a countdown better. Not flinching at the flash or the next long exposure. “Always take more than one for practicality.” Moving to replace the lens cap and concentrate on the Polaroid camera in front of him now. “Arguably this one is like magic.” He stated with a smile. “As Daniel can attest I took so many in our early years here.” Boxes and boxes of them, indulgent expression on his face. He was rich, but some things were priceless that had little monetary value in his collection. “Strike your next pose. Make yourself comfortable.”

Khayman liked Daniel. He was full of life, and hoped that energy didn’t turn downwards into madness. Knowing Armand was concerned with this too, any elder making a first fledgling would be - especially one as fond of forward planning as his host. Smiling nervous about doing something wrong. Hoping irrationally it wasn’t magic, as magic never bode well. Flash and snap. Painless. Wondering what the twins back in Sonomo thought of this new family, Mekare learning after her travelling the wilderness. Focus on Jesse, their link to Miriam.

Armand handed the Polaroid by its framed white bottom edge to the elder. “Now shake it, and you’ll slowly appear.” Charmed by Khaymans expression, bouyed one so old could still feel the wonder of the new. Despite intermittent sleeps. Hope for all of them surely. Watching Khayman watching the photograph as it developed. “What do you think?”

Bit by bit the image appeared - the dark background shading in firstly, the bright green cacti appearing next with its vibrant blooms. Then the paled by time figure, a smile all for the taker. Now one such photo of Armand with or without himself would be wondrous. “A fine picture.” So excited he placed kisses on Armands cheeks stopping before he daren’t put any on those rosy lips. Moving faster than he usually did, enveloping the younger vampire in a hug would perhaps be too much of a liberty. They had time. “One of us next, yes?”

Armand didn’t have time to start at the sudden movement of the ancient. Stealing himself to be squeezed, fortunate it didn’t come to pass. Khayman smelt inviting though, heady blood from their fount. Marius would be jealous no doubt. But he wasn’t here was he. Attending to Pandora, a promise of a return soon. As ever time would tell. Trying not to stare at Khaymans lips. “Yes. An instant portrait next.” Glad of someone who gave as much as he took.

[blackswaneuroparedux]

Skill without imagination is craftsmanship and gives us many useful objects such as wickerwork picnic baskets. Imagination without skill gives us modern art.

- Tom Stoppard, Artist Descending a Staircase

Sir Anish Kapoor’s ArcelorMittal Orbit tower was completed in 2012 at a cost of £19 million ($27 million). It was intended to be a permanent lasting legacy of London's hosting of the 2012 Summer Olympic and Paralympic Games, assisting in the post-Olympics regeneration of the Stratford area. At 376 feet (114.5 metres) it became the UK’s tallest public artwork.

London Mayor Boris Johnson put into motion a design competition that was held in 2009 and it called for designs for an "Olympic tower". A 9 panel commission made of the great and the good was set up to recommend to both Johnson and the government. It received about 50 submissions. Boris Johnson had said that his early concept for the project was something more modest than Orbit, along the lines of "a kind of 21st-century Trajan's Column", but this was dropped when more daring ideas were received. Boris Johnson was believed to want something like the Eiffel Tower or the Statue of Liberty what he and the government settled on was something completely different with Turner-Prize winning artist Sir Anish Kapoor in partnership with Cecil Balmond of Arup Group, an engineering firm.

Kapoor said that one of the influences on his design was the Tower of Babel, the sense of "building the impossible" that "has something mythic about it", and that the form "straddles Eiffel and Tatlin". Balmond, working on the metaphor of an orbit, envisaged an electron cloud moving, to create a structure that appears unstable, propping itself up, "never centred, never quite vertical". Both believe that Orbit represents a new way of thinking, "a radical new piece of structure and architecture and art" that uses non-linearity – the use of "instabilities as stabilities." The spaces inside the structure, in between the twisting steel, are "cathedral like", according to Balmond, while according to Kapoor, the intention is that visitors will engage with the piece as they wind "up and up and in on oneself" on the spiral walkway.

The Independent described Orbit as "a continuously looping lattice ... made up of eight strands winding into each other and combined by rings like a jagged knot". The Guardian describes it as a "giant lattice tripod sporting a counterweight collar around its neck designed to offset the weight of its head, a two-storey dining and viewing gallery". According to the BBC, the design incorporates the five Olympic rings.

Upon its launch Johnson said "It would have boggled the minds of the Romans. It would have boggled Gustave Eiffel." Nicholas Serota, a member of the design panel, said that Orbit was a tower with an interesting twist, with "the energy you might traditionally associate with this type of structure but in a surprisingly female form.”

When Anish Kapoor’s commission for the Olympic Park in London was unveiled no one really noticed, as most viewers thought it was still under construction.

Orbit confused viewers for sometime, but when they realised that the twisted metal structure in place was indeed an artwork they were up in arms. It was soon slammed by critics and citizens alike.

Overall reception to Orbit was mixed, but mostly negative. With regard to its potential as a lasting visitor attraction, The Guardian's Mark Brown reflected on the mixed fortunes of other large symbolic London visitor attractions such as the popular, but loss-making, Thames Tunnel; the Skylon structure, dismantled on the orders of Winston Churchill; and the successful London Eye. When plans were first reported for an Olympic tower, the media pointed to a manifesto pledge of Johnson's to crack down on tall buildings, in order to preserve London's "precious" skyline.  The Times criticised the idea as a vanity project of Johnson's, with a design "matching his bravado", built to "seal his legacy", surmising it would be compared to other similar vanity projects such as the "wedding cake", the Monument to Vittorio Emanuele II built in Rome, or the Neutrality Arch, a rotating golden statue erected by Turkmenistan's President Saparmurat Niyazov, while comparing Johnson to Ozymandias. Art critic Brian Sewell said "Our country is littered with public art of absolutely no merit. We are entering a new period of fascist gigantism. These are monuments to egos and you couldn't find a more monumental ego than Boris."

The Times reported the description of it being the "Godzilla of public art". In October 2012, ArcelorMittal Orbit was nominated and made the Building Design magazine shortlist for the Carbuncle Cup - an award for the worst British building completed in the past year, which was ultimately awarded to the Cutty Sark renovation.

Jay Merrick of The Independent said that "[Orbit's] sculptural power lies in its ability to suggest an unfinished form in the process of becoming something else", describing how its artistic riskiness elevated it above the banal artworks of the public art movement that have been built elsewhere in Britain's towns and cities. Merrick was of the opinion that it would be either loved or hated, being a design which is "beautifully fractious, and not quite knowable".

Jonathan Glancey of The Guardian described Orbit as "Olympian in ambition" and a "fusion between striking art and daring engineering", and said that, the Aquatics Centre apart, it represented the architecturally striking Joker in the pack, given that the rest of the landscaping and architecture for the Games "promises little to get excited about". He believed it would become a "genuine eyecatcher" for the Olympics television coverage, with its extraordinary form being a "strange and enticing marriage of sorts" between the Eiffel Tower and the un-built early Soviet era Tatlin's Tower, with the biblical Tower of Babel as "best man".

The Times writer Tom Dyckhoff, while calling it "a gift to the tabloids" and a "giant Mr. Messy", questioned whether the Olympic site needed another pointless icon, postulating whether it would stand the test of time like the London Eye and become a true icon to match the Eiffel Tower, or a hopeless white elephant. Suggesting the project had echoes of Tatlin's Monument to the Third International, and especially Constant Nieuwenhuys' utopian city New Babylon, he asked whether Orbit was just as revolutionary or possessed the same ideological purpose, or whether it was merely "a giant advert for one of the world’s biggest multinationals, sweetened with a bit of fun".

Rowan Moore of The Guardian questioned if it was going to be anything more than a folly, or whether it would be as eloquent as the Statue of Liberty. He speculated that the project might mark the time when society stops using large iconic projects as a tool for lifting areas out of deprivation. He questioned its ability to draw people's attention to Stratford after the Games, in a similar manner to the successes of the Angel of the North or the Guggenheim Museum Bilbao. He also questioned the piece's ability to strike a chord like the Angel, which he believed had at least "created a feelgood factor and sense of pride" in Gateshead, or whether it would simply become one of the "many more unloved rotting wrecks that no one has the nerve to demolish". He postulated that the addition of stairs and a lift made Orbit less succinct than Kapoor's previous successful works, while ultimately he said "hard to see what the big idea is, beyond the idea of making something big".

Fellow Guardian writer John Graham-Cumming rejected comparisons to icons like the Eiffel Tower, which had itself not been intended to be a lasting monument, only persisting into public acceptance as art through being useful; he also pointed out the Colossus of Rhodes collapsed within a few decades, and the Tower of Babel was "constructed to glorify those that constructed it." He suggested that a future mayor should reconsider whether it should be pulled down. Questioning its corporate role, he believed that meant it looked less and less like a work of art and more like a vanity project.

Even Sir Anish Kapoor acknowledged the criticism and said of its clunky features,“It’s an object with all its elbows sticking out and it is slightly awkward, but I think I made it for that reason, I wanted it to be slightly awkward.”

After the 2012 Olympic Games, the Orbit tower was used as an observation tower, running at a loss of £520,000 ($884,000) in 2014–15, according to the BBC—or losing up to £10,000 ($17,000) a week in 2014, according to the Guardian newspaper.

Amidst the rising clamour of the costs matched only by the disdainful disinterest in the massive sculpture, something had to be done.

To appease Londoners, ex-London Mayor Boris Johnson brought in Carsten Höller to add a slide to the 376 feet tall artwork, making it the highest slide in Europe.

Kapoor later said he was pushed into the high profile collaboration by Johnson. Kapoor would later say that Johnson’s request “felt to me as if it was turning the whole thing in the wrong direction.”

“It was not always my thinking. The mayor foisted this on the project and there was a moment where I had to make a decision - do I go to battle with the mayor or is there a more elegant or astute way through this?,” he told the Guardian.

“I knew of Carsten’s work so I thought, well, who better than a fellow artist to join up with and make this a positive story rather than a negative… Luckily, and thankfully, Carsten was open to it, so we found a way round this,” Kapoor explained.

Judging by the unforgettable success of Höller’s slide installation at Tate Modern’s Turbine Hall, it’s easy to imagine what made Kapoor click and extend the invitation to the Belgian-born Stockholm-based artist.

“One makes artworks for other reasons than profit,” Kapoor told the Guardian. “I understand this is run as a so-called attraction, which I have problems with personally… I want it to be slightly more highbrow than that, without wanting to be pompous about it. There’s a difference between a fairground ride and art,” he added.

Höller, meanwhile, took a more lighthearted approach, urging people to embrace “the amusement side of it.”

“A child might be here purely for the slide, while the serious art lover might see this in purely formalistic terms. I personally like the confusion, that you don’t know what it is but it still creates a very unique experience,” he told the Guardian.

 The ArcelorMittal Orbit re-opened to the public on 5 April 2014. Since then it has done below average business in attracting people to come and visit it or try the slide.

The London Legacy Development Corporation (LLDC), which runs the park where the sculpture is located, released numbers revealing the sculpture’s sizeable debt and a steep drop in visitors. Steel magnate Lakshmi Mittal had provided a £9.2 million ($11.2 million) loan to help pay for the original construction of the sculpture, but this loan has ballooned to £13 million due to the accrual of interest.

Ticket sales to the observation platform and a tunnel slide designed by Carsten Höller were meant to help repay the loan, but low visitor attendance prompted a £58,000 ($70,000) loss in 2018/19 alone. Visitor numbers have dropped from a high of 193,000 in 2016/17, when Höller’s slide was introduced, to 155,000 in 2018/19.

It’s not just an artistic folly but a commercial one too.

It's not wholly fanciful that such artistic scuptural landmarks can help lift places. No one can put a figure on jobs created or investments made in Gateshead thanks to the Angel of the North, but it has at least created a feelgood factor and sense of pride. The Bilbao Guggenheim of 1996, still the archetype of such town-boosting, certainly placed a relatively obscure city at the centre of attention.

Buildings can't do it alone and if people find their attention has been drawn only to a wasteland, they will go away again. The Guggenheim worked because there were also dull practical things in Bilbao such as new transport infrastructure and business parks.

But the most important ingredient of a successful icon is that it works artistically. It has to strike a chord, sound the right note, catch a mood, win hearts and confound sceptics. In other words it has to be aesthetically pleasing because it’s good art made by equally by great craft and graft.

The ArcelorMittal Orbit has become an unloved rotting wreck that no one has the nerve to demolish.