#i will eat u

[hheartfilia]

[louisplumpyass]

THAT SMILE OH FUCK ME

[a-study-in-bullshit]

"I love you , I'm glad we're friends"

[hinamie]

10 years later

[fakakta-art]

Jason: *terrified, thinks he's gonna die* Bruce: *used to carrying Dick around like a ferret* small child. so small.

[muppetsnoopy]

they need to invent magic.spell that flosses and brushes my teeth for me and also tuckes me into bed soso cozy

[kimdokjas]

though the movie might be cancelled, yuri on ice will live forever in our hearts. thank you yoi fandom, it's been real ♡

[inkskinned]

probably time for this story i guess but when i was a kid there was a summer that my brother was really into making smoothies and milkshakes. part of this was that we didn't have AC and couldn't afford to run fans all day so it was kind of important to get good at making Cool Down Concoctions.

we also had a patch of mint, and he had two impressionable little sisters who had the attitude of "fuck it, might as well."

at one point, for fun, this 16 year old boy with a dream in his eye and scientific fervor in heart just wanted to see how far one could push the idea of "vanilla mint smoothie". how much vanilla extract and how much mint can go into a blender before it truly is inedible.

the answer is 3 cups of vanilla extract, 1/2 cup milk alternative, and about 50 sprigs (not leaves, whole spring) of mint. add ice and the courage of a child. idk, it was summer and we were bored.

the word i would use to describe the feeling of drinking it would maybe be "violent" or perhaps, like. "triangular." my nose felt pristine. inhaling following the first sip was like trying to sculpt a new face. i was ensconced in a mesh of horror. it was something beyond taste. for years after, i assumed those commercials that said "this is how it feels to chew five gum" were referencing the exact experience of this singular viscous smoothie.

what's worse is that we knew our mother would hate that we wasted so much vanilla extract. so we had to make it worth it. we had to actually finish the drink. it wasn't "wasting" it if we actually drank it, right? we huddled around outside in the blistering sun, gagging and passing around a single green potion, shivering with disgust. each sip was transcendent, but in a sort of non-euclidean way. i think this is where i lost my binary gender. it eroded certain parts of me in an acidic gut ecology collapse.

here's the thing about love and trust: the next day my brother made a different shake, and i drank it without complaint. it's been like 15 years. he's now a genuinely skilled cook. sometimes one of the three of us will fuck up in the kitchen or find something horrible or make a terrible smoothie mistake and then we pass it to each other, single potion bottle, and we say try it it's delicious. it always smells disgusting. and then, cerimonious, we drink it together. because that's what family does.

[adriles]

when we’re done with our overwhelming grief we’ll eat i guess

[sashayed]

If you are in your 20s and depressed I want you to know this: As you age, I promise, you will acquire tools and perspective that will open your world in ways you cannot imagine right now. You will find levels of contentment and joy you never thought possible. You will access a deep understanding and forgiveness of yourself that comes just from hanging out long enough in the same body, and that forgiveness will change everything. Also you may have a regressive depression so intense and long-lasting that it feels like a traumatic brain injury. don't freak out it's normal

[lotus-pear]

cringefail exes oh my god

[sapphiclvrgrl]

need to eat her pussy so insanely soft, wet and slow… kissing and biting her tummy and inner thighs, waiting until she’s bucking her hips and whining uncontrollably to kiss her sweet pussy, leaving wet, open mouthed kisses and spitting on it before targeting her pretty clit… feeling it throbbing under my tongue and seeing wetness dripping from her hole with every lick and suck as she clenches around nothing, getting her so ready to fuck her cunt with my tongue, so deep inside her until she has no control, legs shaking, hands in my hair and she cums all over my pretty face <3

[chubbychiquita]

[sunlit-mess]

doin' time

[hinamie]

matching eye horror for u and ur back-from-the-dead bestie <333

[saphushia]

speaking of fucked up hermits. i made up a chronic illness for redstoners 👍

most of the other hermits have enough other fucked up shit going on with them that cancels out the redstone poisoning, so tango and etho are the ones with the worst of it. zed is susceptible to redstone poisoning too but he's a good boy and washes his hands so he's okay