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#i wish they elaborated on this so badly
faramirsonofgondor · 1 year
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Jamie stuttering as he gets through his explanation of what happened in Amsterdam. Jamie misunderstanding Roy’s statement of the event being traumatic. Jamie not knowing because he doesn’t remember. Roy looking over worriedly at Jamie after he says so. This whole fucking scene.
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idsb · 20 days
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This tour hasn’t even actually started yet and I already feel so stressed it’s like my chest is caving in and I want to crawl in a hole and cry and be done with it
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baladric · 1 month
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tomorrow i have A Work Meeting with An Insurance Man and i Do Not Know What Any Of The Things He Needs To Talk To Me About Are, And Also I Don't Quite Understand Why It Is My Job To Fill Out A Worksheet On How Much Property We Are Requesting Insurance For, I Am In Charge Of Renewing Contracts And Making Sure We Have Printer Paper, Not Big Big Arcane Numbers, Also We Do Not Seem To Have Documentation Of This Process From Previous Years That I Can Work Off Of
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hertwood · 2 months
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for the words in wip thing: hand(s)
glad i got asked hand again because this is one i regretted not sharing last time i did this! this is from loscar + alex omegaverse wip!
Still, when Alex walks into Logan’s drivers room and finds him with a hand up Oscar’s shirt and his tongue in his mouth, Alex promptly chokes on air, blabbers something unintelligible, and leaves immediately.
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basslinegrave · 2 years
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been watching space vids for the past.. hour or so probably more, feeling weird again
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alien-chat · 1 year
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Going on setlistfm, they played JET PACK BLUES and dark alley (AGAIN.) and golden???!!?
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head - Jegulus - September 13 - @stag-microfic - 209
He knows it's a prank. Some elaborate way of messing with him. Probably a plan concocted by Sirius, to annoy him, especially since the Gryffindor versus Slytherin game is approaching.
But suddenly, James Potter is everywhere. He greets Regulus between classes, offers to carry his bags, asks to sit near him in the library, finds him as he sits on the grounds.
He's never mean. But he's always there. It's jarring, because his smile gives Regulus butterflies and the whole thing is a reminder of what he can't have.
So he scowls, tells Potter to fuck off, wishes he could scream at Sirius for pushing buttons he just wants to be left alone, but he doesn't want to admit to any sort of vulnerability.
But one day he snaps. Potter bounds up to him by the lake and smiles his heartbreakingly perfect smile and Regulus just throws his hands in the air and yells, "What are you doing here, Potter? Did Sirius just send you to bother me? Because this is getting old, and I'm busy!"
The smile slides off of James's face and he shrugs before he says. "Sorry, Reg. I just...can't get you out of my head, is all."
And Regulus wants so badly to believe him.
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arminsumi · 1 year
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I want to kiss you — キスしたい
G. Satoru — さとる ⋅ fem reader
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NOTE : there's more parts planned for this, i just wanted to get at least this continuation out ��️ it's maybe gonna be a bit of a slowburn thing, bc personally i love anticipating the buildup of two characters kissing. and also ugh i have such cute ideas in the drafts for this! like you and him using a magnetic drawing board to write down things that you take turns deciphering. and him writing a whole diary of his thoughts that he wishes he could voice to you, that he gives to you when you're leaving at the end of your visit 🥺 anyways!! lmk if you want to be tagged for any continuations pwease i'd value ur engagement very much !!
SUMMARY — you and Satoru falling in love despite a language barrier.
WARNINGS — slight underlying romantic tension between you and Suguru sooo potential love triangle?! one bed trope (you + Satoru), ik google translate is inaccurate but 🤷‍♀️ oh well
WORDCOUNT ≈ 4.6k
🍒 — J ⋅ reblogs and comments help a lot ! enjoy reading :)
A continuation of this post
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Satoru's never really been in love before.
Sure, in high school he experienced crushes and a handful of dates. But the crushes were shallow and short-lived, and the dates were lousy and forgettable.
But you? Well it's funny, see, you live on a whole different continent and can't speak his language, and yet to him you're as unforgettable as the scent of spring.
His feelings for you seep into his skin slowly, beautifully; and yet he can't express a single one to you because he too can't speak your language.
During late-night video calls, Suguru tries to bridge the gap between you and his best friend. And in your group chat, both Shoko and Suguru combine their skills to help you and Satoru understand each other. They do it because they see how badly the both of you want to know more about each other; especially Satoru.
Satoru has never been so infatuated before; never quite so curious and unashamedly intrigued with someone else. You're all he thinks about day and night.
When you speak, he desperately strains his ears. When you text, he consults the dreaded Google translate. And he's always nagging Suguru to translate everything, because he wants to know your every thought and expression.
Around a year and a half after meeting you, Satoru realizes something when he's lazing in his bed with his fluffy white cat curled up on his stomach as it rises and falls with his gentle breathing.
He likes you.
On call, when you giggle at the cat's fluffy tail blocking the webcam, Satoru thinks;
あなたの笑いが大好きです I love your laugh.
When talking about you with Suguru, he receives a little teasing smirk from him.
あなたは彼女が好きですよね? You like her, huh?
During lonely nights, he scrolls through your socials and stares longingly at photos of you, ones where you're hanging out with your real-life friends or family.
とても羨ましいです。私も彼女に近づきたいです。 I'm so jealous. I want to be close to her, too.
Listening to you attempt to speak Japanese on a call while him and Suguru are on a walk around Tokyo, he thinks;
私の言語であなたの声を聞くのが大好きです。 I love hearing your voice in my language.
Any photo of your face that you personally sent him, he looks at with heart eyes and saves immediately.
キスしたい。 I want to kiss you.
He'd be lying if he said he never pressed his lips to his screen and closed his eyes, pretending he was kissing you.
Satoru thinks poetically about you. He pens down these elaborative thoughts into his diary that he plans to give you one day. Maybe then you can get an idea of how deeply he thinks about you.
But even if he could speak English fluently, or you could speak Japanese fluently, he's sure neither language could be descriptive enough when it comes to his feelings for you.
He tries so hard to learn some phrases in anticipation of your upcoming visit, but all he can say when he meets you for the first time at Haneda airport is;
"Hi."
And he waves cutely.
"Hi!" you giggle, waving back.
And all at once, there's a bunch of thoughts buzzing in his head. He's looking at you like he's captivated. Even if he knew any solid English, he's sure he'd be speechless anyways.
実物の彼女はもっと美しい、信じられない。 She's even more beautiful in real life, I can't believe it.
彼女が何を言っているのか全く分かりませんが、いい感じですね。耳元で聞く彼女の声だけが私が望んでいたものです。 I have no idea what she's saying, but it sounds good. Her voice in my ear is all I wanted.
なぜ彼女は私ではなくスグルを抱きしめたのでしょうか?その瞬間は混乱の渦だったのでしょうか、それとも彼女は私を抱きしめたくなかったのでしょうか? Why did she hug Suguru instead of me? Was that moment a whirlwind of confusion, or did she just not want to hug me?
When you excuse yourself to go to the bathroom, the boys wait for you in their seats at the little airport cafe. The neon sign glows yellow above, plants hang from the ceiling; it's a busy place.
They're talking about you over their beverages.
Satoru groans dramatically, throwing his head back, fluffy hair flopping cutely.
"Oh Satoru," Suguru chuckles, "What's the matter? Why the groan?"
"I want to hug her."
Suguru's heart melts. "Then hug her. She doesn't bite. I think she wants to hug you, too."
"But then why didn't she hug me like she hugged you earlier? Maybe I don't seem huggable to her..."
"It was a rushed moment, she had just arrived you know? Don't overthink. Satoru, just hug her."
Satoru lets out a long, stifled noise that's a mix between a groan and a sigh. He tilts his whole body back, balancing precariously on the plastic chair. Rubbing his eyes until he sees some phosphenes, a habit he did when he was nervous. Suguru notices.
"Are you nervous?" Suguru asks tenderly.
"Really nervous. She's prettier in real life. I don't know what to do with myself." he admits quietly.
"Yeah, she is, haha. Oh, there she's coming back now — や!"
"や!" you returned, giggling.
That was Suguru's 'thing'. It's cuter in real life, seeing how his eyes curve up into a smile when he says it. There are details on his face that you didn't notice through the screen; he has an attractive trio of moles on his lower cheek, and when he smiles the left side of his lips curls up more to reveal some of his upper gum.
Satoru's heart beats a little harder when you sit closer to him. He's thinking;
Yay, 彼女は私の隣に座っています。 She is sitting next to me.
"Suguru, ask her if we're taller than she expected." Satoru asks suddenly. You just hear his voice next to you and it gives you tingles — there was a quality to his voice that only revealed itself in real life. An endearing voice crack accompanies the middle of his sentence.
"Satoru asks if we're taller than you expected." Suguru asks you, habitually resting his chin on the palm of his hand while taking a long sip on his iced tea.
"Yeah! Actually, I was surprised, because I thought you and Satoru were the same height, but Satoru is very slightly taller... " you say.
Satoru is listening curiously, waiting expectantly for Suguru's translation. And then it comes, and Satoru smirks at you.
"Yes." he nods, "(Suguru, how do I say I'm taller?) — I'm taller."
You let out a short and sweet ha-hah that makes even Suguru's heart feel a little something.
Each time you laugh, Satoru's thinking;
私はあなたの笑いが本当に大好きです。 。 。 I really love your laugh.
You three leave the airport for your hotel, so you can check in. It's almost midnight, your plane landed late. Though he thought he'd be tired, considering he's not a night owl like his best friend, Satoru is energetically striding next to you, teasing you and laughing with you and throwing hand gestures to try and communicate better. Suguru's fondly eyeing the two of you out, admiring how your chemistry comes to life so beautifully — this is what his best friend wished about for so long; to be at your side. Now he's getting to truly enjoy your company. The dreamy-eyed exchanges between you and Satoru make Suguru think that the two of you ought to be in a novel one day, with how pure and wholesome your story is unfolding right now.
Though, he can pick up on Satoru's frustrated stuttering when he fails to communicate with you. Suguru doesn't mind being the translator, nor does he mind bridging the gap between the two of you; Satoru's nagging can never bother him.
They help you out when you're checking into reception at the hotel, but then suddenly...
"... oh, that's not good. He said your reservation got cancelled." Suguru tells you.
"What!" you panic, "Why?"
Suguru inquires further for you, and finds out that it's because of overbooking.
So you groan, the three of you walking out of the hotel lobby, standing in the glow of the light coming through its glass doors. Satoru silently offers to take care of your suitcase, attentively noticing how tired you'd become from pulling it around.
"Thank you..." you tell him.
"Mm." he nods.
Suguru is quick to offer that you stay at their apartment. "... if you're comfortable with it. Just for the night, until you can find another booking elsewhere. Or if you want to stay by us for the whole month, that's okay too — just mind the cat."
"Suguru... thank you. I'm sorry to be intrusive."
"You're not being intrusive, don't worry. And anyways, I think Satoru will be excited to know that you're staying with us. He was bummed out when he learned that you were gonna stay at this hotel, since it's a bit far from our apartment."
Satoru looks at the two of you curiously after he hears his name mentioned.
"She's staying with us." Suguru tells him. You quietly appreciate his voice, and how soft it becomes when he speaks to Satoru.
"Yay!" Satoru says with a very cute thumbs up. You can hardly believe that this man is older than you.
"Tell him he's cute." you request to Suguru.
"Tell him yourself." he teases.
"No! That's embarrassing! Ah, never mind."
Satoru already knows what you said, though, his ears picked up on that he's cute and your words repeat in his head like his favorite song while the three of you walk the streets at night. He feels dreamy.
There is something indescribably welcoming about Japan that you realize while heading across the street, looking at the faces passing by. It's clean. The lights glow warm and bright. The buildings stand tall, but not intimidatingly so. When you pass by chattering people, you wish you knew what was being said.
The three of you have to take the train to get to their apartment. While boarding it, a cute little exchange happens between you and Satoru that you can't quite explain, but it makes the two of you laugh shyly and look away.
Now squished into a seat at the very edge, another cute little exchange happens between you and him. Satoru is talking up at Suguru, who opted for holding onto the train handles after giving up his seat for an older woman.
Satoru uses lots of hand gestures even when speaking Japanese, his big hands fly around, dramatizing whatever he's saying — and then he accidentally flattens his palm right on top of the back of your hand.
Satoru's quick to remove his hand and giggle it off, but Suguru is even quicker to let out a teasing "ooh, cute" when it happens, so the two of you get completely flustered.
Satoru's heart thumps and throbs for the whole train ride. You swear you can feel a tension between your hands as they rest palms-flat on the seats, less than an inch away; you can feel his warmth, and he can feel yours.
But then the train ride is over, and before you know it Suguru's thumbing his key into the lock of the apartment door. It rattles, the door opens, and the automatic light comes on in the genkan.
"Just a sec — gonna see where Mint is. Make yourself at home." Suguru tells you quickly, voice shaking as he shimmies out of his shoes, and then he disappears down the hall to find the mentioned cat.
Satoru hears the name 'Mint' and gets the idea of what Suguru said based on that.
He nimbly unlaces his Converse, and leans down to neatly tuck them into the corner of the genkan, purposefully next to your shoes.
Then he straightens his body out, and you two have a small comedic exchange as you both notice the height difference between you and him.
"Uh..." he looks down at you. "Water?" he asks after thinking for a moment.
Your heart lurches at his thoughtfulness. "Yes, please."
"Mhm." he hums self-consciously.
He wonders if his accent sounds weird to you. Suguru's reassured him plenty times in the past that it sounds cute and oddly British, but he doesn't really believe that.
Satoru leads the way into the kitchen, clicking the lights on as he goes. And you follow. Such a simple moment makes him feel fluttery.
And then you drink some water with him in the tiny, cramped kitchen that's much too small to accommodate two people. You wonder how Suguru and Satoru can stand in it at the same time if even you and Satoru can't manage it without bumping elbows. He chuckles apologetically.
Ah, the kitchen scene. What a movie scene it is between the two of you.
"Uhhh..." he seems to be skimming his mind for any piece of English vocabulary, getting nervous as you blink at him, waiting for him to speak.
He holds up one finger, then pulls his phone out of the pocket of his jeans. He's a very simple, yet stylish dresser; jeans and a white shirt that's much too big for him. He is truly so opposite to his best friend's fashion that it makes you smile to yourself. Suguru's quite showy with his style, and you can tell he puts a lot of effort into his hairbun, too. But Satoru? Messy hair, in fact so messy that it looks like bed hair even though he did especially brush it and style it for you.
"Okay..." Satoru mumbles, typing things into his phone. Then he gives it to you, and you look at the screen.
飛行は乱気流でしたか? Was the flight turbulent?
You type your response. He watches you. And oh how he watches you — he looks lovestruck. His eyes are full of wonder. His mind reads like poetry.
He reads your reply when you hand him back his phone.
It was. I realized that I hate airplanes. そうでした。私は飛行機が嫌いだということに気づきました。
He nods. "Scary."
"Yeah." you nod too.
Satoru hesitates.
He's still bitter that Suguru got a hug and he didn't; it's on his mind. He just wants to ask you, but a deep-rooted shyness holds him back.
That is, until you look up at him.
あなたは私を見上げようとしてとても頑張っています。かわいい。 You're trying so hard to look up at me. Cute.
His whole body buzzes with the desire to hug you. He's had dreams of meeting you in person, of hugging you, of kissing you.
The two of you feel your bodies naturally pull together, as if subconsciously desiring to embrace, so it just happens. It just happens.
And you hug and he thinks to himself;
これは私が今まで経験した中で最高の瞬間です。 This is the best moment I've ever experienced.
You can feel his heartbeat and he can feel yours. For a moment, the world around you becomes a dream; and you and Satoru are the only things that truly exist. Everything in the world except your love seems fake, unreal.
You hear him swallow like he's choking up. Then he sniffles a bit.
泣かないで。泣かないで。 Don't cry. Don't cry.
くそー、泣いちゃうよ。彼女はとても柔らかいです Damn, I'm gonna cry. She's so soft.
And you break away to laugh sympathetically, he feels a bit embarrassed.
He's crying so softly that it makes your heart lurch.
Your bodies aren't separate for long, because he dives right back in for another hug in an attempt to quench the thirst from deep within his desirous soul. This time he squeezes tighter; you can feel the tones of his torso and the firmness of his bicep muscles as they press against your sides.
He sniffles again, the sound makes your heart lurch again.
あなたに言いたいことがたくさんあるのですが、どうやって伝えればいいのか分かりません。 There are so many things I want to say to you, but I don't know how.
でも、このハグで私の感情を感じていただければ幸いです。 But, I hope you can feel my emotions in this hug.
And you can; that's how closely connected the two of you feel in that moment. You can feel the emotions radiating from him, permeating throughout the air and seeping into your skin.
You can feel that he likes you. And he can feel that you like him back. It's fascinating to you, because before him you've always been saying I love you and I like you and will you date me? to people, or been on the receiving end of those phrases. But those words are unnecessary for you and Satoru. In fact, they're futile.
If he would say I love you, it would just be an accessory to his already evident love.
Then a sudden embarrassment pries the two of you apart, and you both start giggling to cope with it.
"Sorry... a bit much?" he mutters, half-sure of what he's saying.
"No, not enough." you tell him. He kinda understands what you meant, and feels fluttery. His nose is reddened from crying. He quickly pats his tears off with the base of his hand.
It's like your bodies hate being apart now, you and him can tell by each other's body language. Now at least that's one language both of you became fluent in, despite only being in each other's company for a few hours.
He looks at you. And you flick your brows up and make a funny face, as if to ask him what he's looking at. And he looks away with a bashful laugh, as if to apologize.
The romantic tension is so thick in the air between you two that when Suguru comes back, he feels it hit him like a wave.
おお。さっきまで彼女と一緒にいたとき、世界の存在を忘れていた。 Oh. When I was with her just a moment ago, I forgot the existence of the world.
"That cat is a menace. A menace." Suguru complains.
"What happened?" you ask.
" 'Got scratched." he holds up his hand, showing off the Hello Kitty adhesive across his knuckles. "Anyways, It's late. Are you tired? Satoru's gonna sleep with me, and you can have his room. Unless you want my room. I dunno. You can choose."
"Ooh... I haven't seen your room now that I think about it, except for that one video of you two pillow fighting."
Satoru's already starting to feel a small bit of jealousy and frustration, because he has no idea what you two are talking about.
Suguru's quick to notice this, and translates with a quick tongue.
"Tell her my bed's comfier than yours." Satoru says smirkingly.
"Wow, rude — Satoru says my bed is comfier than his." Suguru lies, refraining from laughing at his own mischievousness.
"Ah, I don't care, I'll be grateful for any bed... ah, actually can I use the bathroom to freshen up a bit?"
"Like I said, make yourself at home."
"Thanks..." you smile.
So Suguru leads the way to the bathroom for you, and you lock yourself in there to freshen up for a while. You sniff your shirt and smile — you smell Satoru's subtle scent on it.
The boys are fussing over the bed situation.
"Don't we have an extra futon stuffed away somewhere, the one Shoko left here?" Satoru thinks out loud.
"Ohhh, you're right." Suguru nods, looking for it.
"Anyways you embarrassed me!" Satoru pouts.
"Haha, did I?" Suguru pulls out the futon from the tippy-top shelf.
"Yeah, earlier you showed off how good you can speak English." Satoru grumbles.
They're softly grunting as they ruffle blankets and pillows.
"Oh, I guess I did. Sorry." he admits, "gosh, maybe if you would have learned a little something in preparation for her visiting then — "
"I did learn stuff! I learned... how to write." Satoru interrupts defensively.
"But why didn't you learn some common phrases?"
"I don't like my accent when I speak, alright." Satoru admits, huffing as he dives into the bed, ruining the artful neatness that Suguru just put so much effort into creating
"Okay, fair enough — oh my god, why would you do that, are you twelve? Oh hey, Y/n." Suguru smiles. "Satoru ruined your bed."
"Oh — two futons? Am I sharing with you or Satoru?"
Satoru rears his head at you from the pillow, looking very cat-like right then with his fluffy white hair. You can tell he's struggling to stay awake as the hour pushes onto two in the morning. He hasn't stayed up this late since he had a video game addiction and played all night with Suguru. Keeping his eyes open was a grand feat.
"No, you get to have two futons." Suguru teases, "Princess treatment."
"Haha, shut up. Be serious."
"Well, you can share with whoever you want or Satoru and I can sleep here together. Whatever you're more comfortable with."
"Didn't you once complain that you hate sharing beds with people?" you giggle.
"Mmm, yeah, but I don't mind if it's with you. Satoru's a cuddler. He also kicks in his sleep."
"That's so cute — well, let's ask — ... hey, I think Satoru fell asleep. Satoru?"
And surely enough, Satoru is asleep; he fell asleep to the sound of your voice without meaning to.
"He's not used to staying awake this late." Suguru tells you, softening his voice so he doesn't wake the cat Satoru.
"That's so sweet. He's really so sweet." you tilt your head admiringly.
You and Suguru are just alone there together, gushing over how cute Satoru looks when he has his cheek squishing into a pillow and his lips pouty and puffy in that sleep-like manner.
A long, nice silence settles in the room. You admit to Suguru that you're feeling a bit too wired to sleep just yet.
"I can stay up with you."
"No, it's okay. You look tired, you should sleep."
"I just always look tired. The night is early, anyways. I usually brood until four in the morning, you know me."
You smile at him, and he has to look away before he swoons. There's a small tension between the two of you, but the both of you force yourselves to ignore it.
The two of you assume a comfortable position on the futons, chatting as if you're not emotional about the fact there's no screen separating the two of you.
"Satoru's never been an insomniac, but in the week leading up to your arrival, he couldn't sleep at all. We'd stand in the kitchen together at midnight, talking about all the things we planned to do when you got here. I've never seen him so excited in a long time... it's really heartwarming to see."
"Really?" you blink at Suguru. He side-eyes you for a prolonged moment, then looks at Satoru who continues to sleep indisturbedly.
"Yeah. You know, he's such an idiot, actually. Because I told him to learn some phrases and instead he learned how to write English."
"That's a start! I mean, look at me, I can barely say a damn thing..." you mutter with lighthearted shame.
"Maybe that doesn't matter at all... I mean, with the kind of chemistry you and Satoru share, there's not much need for words." Suguru says.
You feel your face warm up a bit when he says that. "What do you mean?"
He wiggles his brows. "Oh come on, you know what I mean. I could feeeeel the tension in the kitchen earlier."
"Huh!"
He smirks and begins to tease, "I've never seen two people flirt so much and yet use no words."
You chuckle shyly. "Really...?" you look fondly at Satoru, who's become more curled up by now, face half-hidden under the blanket.
There's a long silence. You're looking at Satoru. Suguru's looking at you as if spellbound. And then he snaps out of it, and reanimates himself.
"Anyways... we should probably get some good sleep if we wanna drag you around on a tour tomorrow. I want your first impression of my home to be how good the food tastes here."
"Ooh, a food tour around Tokyo? Sounds nice. Won't it be too hot tomorrow, though?"
"It'll be fine." he says surely, "Anyways, are you sure you'll sleep here with Satoru? Like I said, he's a cuddler. He will cuddle you in your sleep."
"It's okay. I don't mind." You giggle.
"M'kay, goodnight then."
"Mhm, see you tomorrow." you say, standing with Suguru.
"Wow." he suddenly exclaims when he looks at you.
"Hm?"
Suguru stops on his way out the door, he seems taken aback. "I can't believe you're actually right here. I'm so used to pressing a red button and you vanishing from my screen." he laughs in disbelief.
"Yeah, I'm still a bit in disbelief, too. I feel like I'm in a dream and not standing right in front of you."
Suguru smirks. "Mm... well."
He leans down to hug you, pressing your smaller body against his chest with a lovingness that you never envisioned he would possess.
"Have you ever tried to hug someone in a dream? It's pretty difficult." he jokes.
"N-no, haha." you chuckle nervously against his neck. He feels your laughter on his skin, and pulls away before he lets that tingly feeling spread across his chest.
"Goodnight." he murmurs.
"Goodnight." you mumble back.
You're glad when he disappears into his own room, because you felt like you were melting in his alluring presence. A boy as sultry as that requires you to take a breather.
Satoru draws your attention by letting out a sigh in his sleep. You head into the bed.
Though there's a distance between you two, somehow it closes, and Satoru rolls right over onto your futon.
Oh, he is indeed a cuddler, you think. You feel a warm arm suddenly hugging your waist as Satoru changes position, and you hear sleepy lip smacks; his face is very close. You can feel his sweet, warm breath on your face.
There's a comforting, human intimacy about sharing a bed with him. He's so gentle when he sleeps. His hair falls over his eyes, his lashes shudder as his eyes do that sleepy twitching thing.
He looks angelic.
You wonder what dreams he's having. And well, actually he's having dreams of kissing you. How coincidental that you were staring blinkingly at his pouty lips, wondering just how long it will take for the both of you to just — just kiss.
Roaming his features in the dark, you find aspects of his beauty that you never saw before through the screen. He's got a tiny scar above his eyebrow, that must be the one Suguru told you about — the one he got as a child when he fell out of a tree. You remember making a joke "but I thought cats always land on their feet?" and when Suguru translated that, Satoru laughed.
There's slight freckling under his eyes, and slight indents of eyebags stemming from the inner corner of his eye.
And yes, how could you not admire those lashes. They were more beautiful in person. You could count each one if you wanted to, that's how closely he slept to you.
Listening to his soft breaths nearly lulls you to sleep, but then he suddenly cuddles closer and whines in his dream.
Oh, that's close close, you think.
His torso is pressing completely against your side, his body melting into yours like it was made for you. Two puzzle pieces meant to fit together.
His leg comes over yours, and his muscular thigh nestles between your two thighs. It makes you aware of just how attractively long his legs are.
He completely entrapped you with his sleepy embrace.
The warmth of his gentle breathing tickles your cheek, and the tip of his nose slightly dents into your skin. Now that's when you fall asleep. When he's completely melted against you, snuggled up like a cat.
He stirs awake after a few hours of heavy sleep, and for a split second in that groggy wakeful mind fog, for some reason he thinks he's laying next to his wife. So he squeezes you tenderly and cuddles more affectionately.
Oops, he thinks, and pulls away a little out of embarrassment. But once he falls back into dream land, his body subconsciously goes right back in for those sleepy cuddles.
Now the morning dawns over, and you wake up to two bleary, blinking blue eyes right up close to your face...
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© arminsumi
Do not plagiarize / repost / translate / copy layouts / etc.
Do not steal what I've worked hard to create.
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bomber-grl · 11 months
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SAL FISHER RELATIONSHIP HC ! ₊˚⊹
₊˚⊹ PAIRING(s): Sal fisher x Gn!reader
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He’s so sweet it hurts
Honestly, Sal is the best boyfriend ever, he’s always there for you and he always knows the perfect things to say when comforting you.
The two of you met because of the ghosts and the whole cult thing while at high school.
You were the more outspoken one out of the two of you since Sal was mostly against violence even when Travis was brought into the convo.
I can definitely see Sal being the first one to approach you.
It all started when Sal started becoming increasingly interested in you to the point that Larry and even ash started teasing and encouraging him to talk to you.
He would fluster, occasionally and say the wrong words out of nervousness however with luck, he managed to get your number.
It was hard not to fall for him, especially with how lovable he is.
He’s so genuinely nice and actually cares for others.
Of course, you eventually see his face, and although he was neutral about it since he trusted you he was still a bit nervous.
Definitely warms his heart when you not only accept his face but also kiss it.
He flusters and stutters so badly afterwards.
Continuing from that, he’s definitely the type to tease lightheartedly
Definitely not in the beginning though
So when you first started teasing and provoking him, causing him to get super flustered
He wouldn’t really know what to do except accept it, so imagine your surprise when he turns the tables once day and makes you a blushing mess
Most times when you hang out, you usually hang at the apartments in his room, or when sals an adult you’d hang out in his room in the house
During these hang outs you guys would usually listen to some music or just enjoy each others presence
Most times it’s just you and sal cuddling and ngl he smells rlly good
Like I’m not even joking and when you mention this, he can’t help but laugh and just tells you do too
However, when you guys hang out with Larry (which is more often than not) you guys end up in more than sus situations 😭😭
Then Larry is all like “I’ll leave you guys at it” and dips
Like??? We’re not doing anything 😭🗣️
Anyway
While you’re at high school ofc Travis has something to say, and if you’re a guy then he obviously calls you the f slur and a lot of homophobic nonsense
And if you’re a girl Travis still calls y’all homos in a negative way, and always says shit about you two
And I don’t think I need elaborate further about how Travis would probably hate crime you if you were non-binary, gender fluid, or basically anything under the trans umbrella
(Basically any gender identity that isn’t your assigned one 😭
Larry, ash, and Todd all get pissed at Travis , and they always come to the both of your guy’s defense
And ofc Sal is bit lenient towards Travis, well only ever when Travis is talking shit about him
If Travis talks shit about you he’d be pissed
But ofc younger Sal is less violent and more open so he’d obvs be kinder
Anyway, we all know what happens at the apartments and if you live there-
Let’s just say it pains Sal so much to have to kill you
I mean him having to kill all the people he grew up with and the people he cares for is horrible but he knows he has to
However, if you don’t, well let’s say you know about the cult and why he did it
Still doesn’t stop you from trying to find a way to get a lower sentence and from trying the convince ash of the truth
When sal dies, let’s just say you feel so alone
Of course you have ash by your side but it’s just horrible
Eventually you’re the person that sals soul would enter and you’d defeat the cult that way
But let’s all pretend that they were able to defeat the cult without having to kill the innocent tenants
Making sal a free man
Well if it were that way, you and Sal would be together for a long time, and if you both wished it, married too
———
Art credits : @/toasterdoodle22
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bradshawsbaby · 8 months
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Sprinkles of Love
Pairing: Bob Floyd x Female Reader
Summary: It's Bob's birthday and you want to do something special for him. The problem is that you've only been on two dates, and you can't get out of your head about making that first move.
Word Count: 6.6k
Author’s Note: Happy Birthday to my #1 Guy, Lewis Pullman! I thought we all deserved some sweet Bob fluff to celebrate!
Warnings: Tooth-rotting fluff, featuring the jitters and nervousness that comes with a new relationship.
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You glanced at your phone for what felt like the hundredth time that morning, your fingers itching to reach for it where it sat taunting you on the counter near the cash register.
Biting down on your lower lip, you peeked surreptitiously over your shoulder before finally picking it up, your finger hovering hesitantly over the green messages icon.
“Are you finally going to text him or are you just going to keep staring longingly at your phone all day?”
Your cousin’s teasing voice startled you, pulling you out of your silent reverie as you fumbled the phone, nearly dropping it to the floor in your haste to get a grip on it and shove it inside your apron pocket.
Alexandria just laughed in response, her dark eyes sparkling as she slid a tray of freshly baked oatmeal raisin cookies onto one of the display case shelves. Normally, you would have complimented her on how amazing they smelled, but given the knowing smirk she was sending your way, you stuck your tongue out at her instead.
“Stick your tongue out at me all you want,” she told you, throwing her hands up in mock surrender. “But I know you, and I know how badly you want to text him. So why don’t you just do it already and save yourself all the torment?”
“Lexie,” you groaned, your phone suddenly feeling like a rock inside your pocket. Why did your cousin have to know you like the back of her hand?
You were saved from having to elaborate, however, when one of the timers dinged in the kitchen, signaling that the newest batch of muffins you and Lex had put in a little while ago was finished. She shot a pointed look in your direction, making it clear the conversation wasn’t over, before turning on her heel and going to take the muffins out of the oven.
Since it was the usual mid-morning lull and the only customers currently inside the bakery were a college student working on her laptop near the window and two elderly ladies enjoying conversation over scones and tea, you figured you should be both a good cousin and a good employee and go help Lexie in the back.
Despite the fact that you had already been working at the bakery for a few months now—ever since you had moved to San Diego—you still couldn’t help but be blown away whenever it hit you that your cousin had really accomplished the dream she’d been chasing since you were little girls. For as long as you could remember, Alexandria had been wanting to open up her very own bakery, a cozy little spot where people could come to read, hang out, and relax, all while enjoying some homemade treats and delicious coffee. It seemed like just yesterday that the two of you were playing with her Easy-Bake Oven, and now here she was—living the dream as a successful small business owner. You couldn’t have been more proud of her. Or more grateful that she’d given you both a job and a place to live when you’d decided to follow in her footsteps and make the move out to California.
Lex was like the big sister you never had. She gave the best advice and she knew you inside and out. Which was normally a good thing, but judging by the way she was looking at you from under her dark lashes, you knew today was going to be one of those days where she insisted on pushing you out of your comfort zone.
You sighed in exasperation as you helped her set the freshly baked orange cranberry muffins—a favorite among her loyal customers—on the cooling rack. “I wish I hadn’t even mentioned it. It’s not that big of a deal,” you insisted, supremely conscious of the weight of your phone pressing against your thigh as you worked.
“If it’s not that big of a deal, then why do you seem to be making it one?” Lexie replied with that razor-sharp wit of hers, winking when you shot her a dirty look over your shoulder.
“I’m not!” you insisted, although you knew that was a complete and total lie. You were being ridiculous and you knew it, but every time you even thought about sending him a message, your heart started pounding inside your chest and your palms got all gross and clammy.
Lex crossed her arms over her chest, throwing an exasperated look heavenward. “Babe, you’ve already been on two dates with him and he wants to take you out on another. Do you seriously think you’re going to send him running for the hills if you send him a text wishing him a happy birthday?”
When you heard it out loud, it did sound pretty stupid. He was such a great guy, so sweet and attentive and caring, and he had done nothing to indicate that he was losing interest or that he would be freaked out by such a simple message. But still…
“I do want to text him,” you confessed, biting your lip as you carried the empty muffin tray over to the large sink where your cousin washed all her baking supplies.
“So what’s holding you back?” Lexie asked, her voice gentler this time as she leaned her hip against the counter, clearly trying to understand. She’d seen your heart get broken enough times to know that you were much more cautious now when it came to entrusting it to other people.
You sighed softly, fiddling with the strings on your pink-and-white striped apron as you tried to put your feelings into words. “It’s just—we’ve only been on two dates. I mean, they were really amazing dates, but still. Only two. And our birthdays only came up once in passing on our first date. He never mentioned it again, even when he called the other night to ask me if I’d like to go out this weekend. So on the one hand, I do want to text him to wish him a happy birthday, but on the other hand, what if it weirds him out that I remembered? What if he thinks I’m some kind of obsessive stalker and gets the ick and then ghosts me?”
“For wishing him a happy birthday?” your cousin questioned skeptically, her eyebrows rising until they were practically touching the edges of her blunt bangs.
“I’ve been ghosted before for less,” you muttered in embarrassment, knowing that your love life was a disaster compared to your cousin, who had been with her soon-to-be-husband since high school.
Lex softened immediately, stepping beside you and wrapping a comforting arm around your shoulders. “I know,” she murmured soothingly, rubbing your arm with a gentle hand. “But those guys were jerks who didn’t deserve you. From everything I know about this guy, he sounds so great. He seems like the kind of guy who would be happy that you remembered his birthday.”
Honestly, you couldn’t argue with her there.
Bob Floyd was unlike any man you’d ever met before. He was everything you’d ever hoped to find but had feared you never would, the kind of perfect that seemed too good to be true, the gentleman that you had thought existed only in fairytales.
It had been over a month now since he’d stepped off a storybook page and walked into your life.
You could still remember that afternoon so clearly. It was a Saturday, and the bakery had been surprisingly dead. Lexie had decided to run to the bank, leaving you in charge of things in her absence. You’d been rearranging some of the pastries in the display case when the bell over the front door chimed, signaling a customer.
Stepping up to the counter, the words of greeting died in your throat when one of the most handsome men you’d ever seen in your life approached, a shy smile stretching across his face.
“Hi,” he greeted you in a soft-spoken voice, shoving his hands into his pockets. He was dressed simply in a pair of jeans and a white T-shirt, and yet you’d never seen a guy look better.
“Hi,” you echoed, your eyes widening as you got lost in a gaze as blue as the cornflowers that grew in your grandparents’ backyard.
The two of you just stared at each other for a couple minutes, neither of you saying anything, even as the air between you seemed to spark and hum with electricity.
“Um, I was, uh, hoping that you still had some cupcakes left. I know it’s a little later in the day and my neighbor who recommended this place said that you should always get here early, but, um, I have a little barbeque that I’m going to and I wanted to bring some dessert. I’m hopeless at making anything myself,” he rambled, his eyes crinkling as he laughed somewhat nervously, rubbing the back of his neck.
It was only when he cleared his throat awkwardly a moment later that you realized you hadn’t yet responded to him.
“Oh! Cupcakes!” you exclaimed, your voice coming out a little louder and squeakier than you had intended. “Of course!” Running your hands down the front of your apron, you shook your head slightly to try to knock some sense into it. You walked over to the display case, indicating that he should come take a look. “Normally we’d already be sold out of a lot of these, but it’s been quieter today than usual, so we still have plenty left. I guess it’s your lucky day.”
“Seems like it,” he smiled, his blue eyes latching onto your face.
Something about the way he said it made your insides feel as gooey as the batter Lexie used to make her double chocolate fudge cake.
“How many cupcakes do you need?” you asked, working overtime to keep from getting flustered.
“I think two dozen should be fine,” he replied, his eyes roaming over the display case shelves. “Hmm, they all look so good, I wouldn’t know where to start. Do you have any recommendations?”
“The lemon zest cupcakes are really popular. So are the red velvet and the coconut cloud. Oh, and the German chocolate.” You laughed sheepishly. “Honestly, they’re all really good.”
He laughed in response, a small dimple appearing in his cheek that only further endeared him to you. “Which one is your favorite?” he asked, his voice so earnest it made your chest ache.
You didn’t even have to think about it. “The funfetti,” you told him, indicating the vanilla cupcakes baked with rainbow chips and topped with swirls of vanilla frosting and an extra dash of sprinkles.
“I’ll take a dozen funfetti cupcakes then. And you can surprise me with the other dozen,” he grinned, making you smile.
“I hope you and everyone at the barbeque enjoys,” you said after you finished ringing him up, sliding the two boxes of cupcakes towards him.
“I’m sure we will. This place comes highly recommended,” he replied with a smile. “Are you Lexie, the owner?”
“No, no, I’m her cousin,” you explained, introducing yourself by name.
“I’m Robert Floyd,” he said, holding out his hand to you. “But everyone calls me Bob.”
“Very nice to meet you, Bob,” you beamed, sliding your hand into his and shaking firmly. His hand was large and warm and calloused and it felt like yours had been made to fit inside it.
“Nice to meet you, too,” he murmured softly, holding onto your hand for another second or two before slowly releasing it. He was quiet for a moment, then added, “I’m sure I’ll be back again soon.”
“We serve really good coffee,” you said suddenly, desperate to find a reason to get him to come back. “And we open really early. You know, if you want to get some on your way to work.”
Bob’s beautiful blue eyes twinkled behind his glasses. “I’ll be sure to do that. Thank you.” He picked up his boxes of cupcakes and turned towards the door. Before he left, he shot you one last smile that melted your insides. “See you around.”
After that, Bob Floyd had found plenty of reasons to stop by the bakery. The following Monday, he’d stopped by in the morning to grab coffee for him and his friends on his way to work. That was when you’d learned that he was a naval aviator stationed at North Island.
“You were right about those funfetti cupcakes,” he told you, patting his stomach with a grin. “I think I ate about half the box before I thought to share them with anyone else.”
Your eyes crinkled and you felt your skin grow warm as you smiled in response. “Good, I’m so glad.”
You made sure to slip a cupcake in with all his coffee orders, a gesture which he didn’t fail to notice, judging from the extra large tip he left in the jar.
“See you soon,” he smiled, balancing all that coffee in his large hands as he backed out of the bakery.
From then on, he was there practically every day, stopping in for coffee or for some cupcakes after work. He often picked up things for other people—his friends or his neighbor who had recommended the bakery to him. But for himself, he always stuck with the funfetti cupcakes.
“I know I should branch out and try something new,” he told you one day through a mouthful of sprinkles. “But I can’t help it—these are just so good.”
It had taken nearly two weeks for Bob to work up the nerve to finally ask you if you might be interested in getting dinner with him sometime. You’d had to bite your tongue to keep from immediately screaming, “YES!” in his face,
The two of you spent your first date at a gorgeous little seafood restaurant right on the water, and then went for a long walk on the beach afterwards. It was truly the best date you’d ever been on. Bob was a perfect gentleman, attentively listening to everything you had to say and making you feel as though he actually cared about what was important to you. He’d even draped his jacket over your shoulders as you walked by the water, noticing the way you were shivering slightly in the dress you’d worn. You had been hoping he would kiss you at the end of the night, but like the gentleman that he was, he’d simply brushed your cheek with his lips, asking in a hushed voice if you’d like to see him again.
You wanted that very much.
On your second date, Bob took you mini golfing, something you’d told him that you hadn’t done since you were a little girl. You didn’t think you’d ever laughed so much as you did that night, no matter how terrible you turned out to be at miniature golf. Just like on your first date, Bob walked you to your door at the end of the night, his hand resting on the small of your back as you turned to look up at him, your eyes begging him to give you a proper kiss goodnight.
He had to duck his head slightly as he leaned in closer, a lock of his honey-colored hair draping across his forehead as his gaze latched onto yours, your breath mingling as the two of you inched closer and closer.
It was a soft kiss, sweet and chaste. His lips just barely brushed against yours, sending a shock of electric currents up and down your spine. When he pulled back, the both of you were flushed and stammering.
“C-can I call you tomorrow?” he asked, still so shy even after two dates.
“I hope you do,” you whispered with a smile, squeezing his hand before slipping through your front door.
Faithful to his word, Bob had called you the next day. The two of you were supposed to be going out again this weekend.
But that brought you back to your current dilemma—his birthday. You knew you were being stupid about this. Texting him for his birthday wasn’t tantamount to a marriage proposal. It wasn’t like you were trying to throw him a surprise party or invite yourself over for cake. It was a text message for crying out loud. And even though it had only come up once, he had told you when his birthday was. It wasn’t like you had gone to North Island and asked to see his personnel file.
The truth was, you were just terrified of screwing things up. You’d gone on plenty of dates with guys who had seemed really nice, who you had really thought were into you, only to be ghosted or flat-out rejected. Deep down inside, you knew that Bob was different from all those other guys, but still—the thought of sending him running made your stomach twist into knots.
“Babe, you know what I’m going to say,” Lexie murmured, your cousin’s voice pulling you out of all your convoluted thoughts. “If you never take a risk, then nothing’s ever going to change. I know you’re nervous, but just go for it. The worst that happens—seriously, the worst case scenario—is that he ghosts you. But you know what? If he does that, then he wasn’t worth your time anyway. And if he doesn’t? Well, maybe he’ll start to fall even harder for the gorgeous girl who remembered his birthday.” She grinned, wrapping both arms around you and pulling you in for a tight hug.
“Ugh, why do you always have to be right?” you grinned ruefully, pulling back from your cousin’s embrace and fiddling nervously with the scrunchie on your wrist.
“It’s a gift,” she replied with a wink, turning to look over her shoulder when the bell over the front door chimed. “I’ve got it,” she told you, squeezing your arm before heading back out to the front.
That left you alone in the back kitchen, your phone burning a hole in your apron pocket and your heart hammering inside your chest.
“Okay, don’t be an idiot,” you murmured to yourself. As far as pep talks went, it was far from the most inspirational, but it did the job as you pulled your phone out. “It’s not too much too soon. It’s just a text,” you breathed out. “It’s just a text.”
Opening your messages, you found Bob’s name—he was right near the top after texting you just yesterday—and opened up your conversation thread, chewing on your bottom lip.
Before you could talk yourself out of it, you tapped out a quick message that you hoped was short, sweet, and to the point and hit send.
Happy Birthday, Bob! I hope you have a wonderful day! 🥳🎉
You felt hot all over as you shoved your phone back into your pocket, your pulse stuttering in your veins as you wondered how long it would take him to see it. From what he had told you about his job, he often spent hours in the air each day, so chances were good he didn’t even have his phone on him right now.
You weren’t sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing.
Taking a deep breath, you squared your shoulders and determined not to think about it. A task that was much easier said than done. But as you walked back out into the main part of the bakery, you found that a small crowd had formed, so you jumped into assisting your cousin behind the counter.
“Well?” Lexie asked under her breath as you helped her fill a couple boxes with a dozen cinnamon chip muffins.
“I sent it,” you murmured in reply, purposely avoiding her direct gaze. “But I haven’t heard anything back yet.”
As much as you had tried not to, you’d been compulsively checking your phone every five minutes.
Lex shrugged and waved it off. “It’s still early yet,” she said confidently, carrying the boxes over to the patiently waiting customer.
You threw yourself into various tasks around the bakery, anything that would keep your mind off your phone. You restocked the shelves in the display cases, organized the money in the cash register, wiped down the counters in the kitchen, scrubbed the baking pans, frosted cupcakes, replaced the coffee beans, and waited on any customers who walked in.
A couple of times, your phone buzzed in your pocket and your heart jumped into your throat, only to sink down to your stomach when you pulled it out and found that it was just an email notification or a text from your mom.
The longer you went without hearing from Bob, the harder you had to work to convince yourself that he wasn’t ignoring you.
No. He wasn’t ignoring you. Bob wasn’t like that. You were sure of it.
It was a little after noon, just when you’d taken a cup of coffee into the back for a short break, when you felt your phone buzz again, vibrating against your thigh through your apron. Swallowing nervously, you put your coffee down and reached into your pocket, a small gasp escaping you when you saw Bob’s name on the screen.
You could scarcely unlock your phone fast enough, opening up the text thread to read his reply.
Wow, you remembered! That means so much to me. Thank you! ☺️ Sorry it took me a little while to respond—we were doing some test flights, but I’m on my lunch break now and I’ll be on the ground for the rest of the day. How are you?
It took every ounce of self-restraint you had not to scream and jump up and down like a little girl. It felt like a boulder had been lifted off your shoulders. You hadn’t freaked him out! He hadn’t ghosted you! It was just like Lexie said—he was happy that you remembered.
Grinning like a fool, you leaned against the counter and typed out a response, not caring that your coffee was getting cold.
I’m doing great! Glad to hear you got some flying in on your special day ✈️ Doing anything to celebrate?
It was only after you had sent the message that you began to fret that it sounded like you were being nosy about his plans, or worse, trying to insert yourself into them.
But then Bob responded a minute later and put your worries to rest.
Nothing too fancy. My friends ordered lunch and got me a cake. They sang “Happy Birthday,” too, even though I begged them not to lol. I usually keep it pretty lowkey on my birthday.
You smiled as you wrote back, Was it a funfetti cake?
His next response came in no time at all, and it made your stomach flutter to imagine that he was focusing entirely on you and your conversation during his lunch break.
If only! It was really good, but I don’t think anything compares to those funfetti cupcakes 😋
At that moment, Lex walked into the back, stopping dead in her tracks when she saw the huge smile plastered on your face. It felt like it was going to get permanently stuck there.
“Well, well, well,” she grinned, sidling up next to you. “Should I take that glowing smile to mean you finally heard back from your lieutenant?”
You ducked your head shyly, your cheeks growing warm. “He isn’t my lieutenant,” you insisted.
“Mhm, sure,” your cousin grinned, laughing loudly when you nudged her in the side. “So it worked out after all? He didn’t say you were a freaky stalker? I shouldn’t be expecting the police to burst down the door any minute?”
“Okay, okay,” you groaned, realizing how ridiculous you’d been behaving that morning. “You were right. It all worked out. He was very touched that I remembered his birthday,” you murmured, sheepishly scuffing your sneaker against the floor.
“I’ve gotta say it—told you so,” Lex smirked victoriously, wrapping her arms around you and planting a kiss on your cheek.
“Yeah, yeah,” you muttered, feigning annoyance even as you grinned and returned your cousin’s hug. “You know, Bob was actually just texting me that his friends at work got him a cake, but that it just doesn’t compare to your funfetti cupcakes,” you told her with a proud smile.
“What can I say? They are pretty damn delicious,” she winked, her chest puffing up with pride. A sudden thought struck her as she looked at you. “Hey, what time does Bob get off from work?”
“I’m not sure exactly. Usually around six or seven, I think,” you told her, your brow wrinkling in confusion. “Why?”
“Hmm, perfect,” Lexie mused, tapping her chin as she glanced over her shoulder.
“What do you mean?” you asked, arching an eyebrow. Your older cousin was always plotting something.
“I mean that the bakery closes at five-thirty,” she said, as if you weren’t already well aware of that fact. When she realized that you weren’t exactly catching her drift, she went on, “Which means you could invite Bob over for a little after hours birthday treat if you’d like,” she grinned.
“Lex!” you gasped, scandalized.
Your cousin threw her head back laughing. “I didn’t mean that you should jump his bones in the middle of the bakery! I’d actually prefer it if you didn’t do that,” she chuckled teasingly. “I just meant you could surprise him with something sweet, on the house. Something we make here,” she added with a pointed look that made your cheeks grow hot in embarrassment.
“Oh,” you mumbled, nodding your head slowly. “Right. Of course.” You cleared your throat slightly. “Are you sure you wouldn’t mind?”
“Of course not! Anyone who makes my cousin this happy is welcome to free cupcakes anytime,” Lex said firmly, cupping your face in her hands and beaming at you.
“You’re the best,” you told her, throwing your arms around her and squeezing her in a tight hug. “I’ll text Bob now and see if he thinks he’ll be up for it.”
“If you’re the one asking, I’m sure he will be,” she winked, nudging you playfully before turning to go back to the front counter.
Once she was out of sight, you turned your attention back to your phone and bit your lip, trying to think of the best way to phrase what you wanted to ask him.
Speaking of funfetti cupcakes, any chance you’d want to swing by the bakery on your way home from work? We close at 5:30 today, but we make special after hours exceptions for our best customers 😉🧁
Was that stupid? That probably sounded stupid. Would he think that you were suggesting a quickie on the bakery floor the way you thought your cousin had been suggesting? Oh God, could you unsend that message before he got it?
I would love to! Is 6:45 too late?
This man didn’t cease to amaze you.
No, that’s perfect!
See you then ☺️
You tried your hardest to smother the smile that was threatening to completely overtake your face, but you couldn’t do it. This man gave you butterflies like you’d never experienced before in all your life, and the thought of getting to see him in just a few hours made you feel like you were going to burst from excitement and anticipation.
You didn’t even have to tell Lexie what Bob had said. The second she saw your face, she just smiled knowingly and told you, “I’ll be out of here by six.”
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Time had never seemed to move so slowly as it did that day while you waited for closing time to finally come around. Lex observed your growing impatience with amusement, giving you as many odd jobs as she could to hopefully make the minutes go faster.
When the clock finally chimed five-thirty, you practically sprinted towards the door, locking it and flipping the closed sign around to ward off anyone who might have tried to stop by for a last minute treat.
“Good thing business is so good or I might get mad at you for scaring off customers,” Lexie teased.
True to her word, your cousin helped you clean up and then was heading out the door by six o’clock.
“Have so much fun,” she told you, blowing you a quick succession of air kisses. “And tell Bob happy birthday from me,” she added with a wink before slipping out the door.
With your cousin gone, that left you about forty-five minutes to finish getting ready before Bob arrived. You quickly set a playlist of classic 60s tunes to play softly through the speakers—you and Bob had discovered you had a similar taste in music about halfway through your first date—and then hurried into the bathroom to fix up your hair and apply a little bit of make-up. You usually didn’t bother with much when you were working, but you wanted to look nice for Bob.
Once you were done getting ready, you went into the back to get his little birthday treat set up—Lexie had made a fresh batch of funfetti cupcakes towards the end of the day just for the occasion. You had just finished placing one of the cupcakes on a small plate with a lace doily and inserting a candle into it when you heard a faint knock on the front door.
Your heart rate immediately began climbing as you ran your hands over the T-shirt and jeans you’d worn today, hoping you looked halfway presentable. Taking a deep, fortifying breath, you stepped out into the main part of the bakery and felt your legs instantly turn to Jell-O at the sight of Bob standing at the door, a bouquet of your favorite flowers in hand. You’d only told him once in passing how much you loved them, and he had remembered.
Wow, that really did mean a lot.
“Hi,” you greeted him, standing in the open doorway and beaming up at him.
“Hi,” he echoed, that little dimple making an appearance as he smiled down at you. After a beat, he seemed to suddenly remember that he was holding the flowers in his hand. “Oh, these are for you,” he said, holding them out shyly.
“They’re beautiful, Bob,” you breathed out softly, accepting them with a smile and pressing them to your nose. “My favorite. You remembered.”
“Just like you remembered my birthday,” he said, his blue eyes sparkling with an emotion you couldn’t quite name, but which you knew you felt just as much as he did.
The two of you stood there like that for a few moments, just gazing into each other’s eyes and smiling dreamily. Then you came to your senses.
“Come in, come in,” you told him, stepping out of the doorway so that he could enter and then closing the door behind him. “Gosh, these really are such beautiful flowers. That was so sweet of you. You didn’t have to get me anything. It is your birthday, after all,” you said, guiding him to a table in the center of the room.
“I wanted to,” Bob replied, taking a seat. He was still in his flight suit and he looked so handsome. “I’m happy that they made you smile.”
“It’s hard not to smile when I’m around you,” you told him, the words slipping out of your mouth before you could think twice about them. Your cheeks grew warm when you realized how vulnerable they were, and you buried your face in the bouquet once more.
Bob’s cheeks had grown rosy as well, and you noticed that his leg was bouncing nervously underneath the table. “I feel the same way,” he murmured softly.
You could have thrown your arms around him and kissed him right then and there, but then you recalled the actual reason why you had invited him over.
“I have a surprise for you,” you said suddenly, smiling brightly as you laid the bouquet of flowers down on the counter. “Wait right here and close your eyes,” you told him, waiting until he had done so before hurrying into the back and lighting the candle you’d tucked into his cupcake.
When you stepped back into the main room on quiet feet, you found that Bob was still patiently sitting with his eyes closed. Your heart swelled with deep affection—and was it possible something even deeper? You had never met anyone like him and you were certain you never would again.
It was at that moment that you realized “Be My Baby” by The Ronettes was currently playing through the speakers, as apropos a sign as you could imagine.
You cleared your throat slightly as you approached the table, the candle sparkling in front of your face as you brought it closer to the birthday boy.
“I know you said you weren’t a big fan of being serenaded with ‘Happy Birthday,’ so I’ll spare you my vocals,” you teased, setting the plate down in front of him. “But Happy Birthday, Bob.”
Opening his eyes, Bob glanced from your face down to the cupcake and then back up to you again. He seemed at a loss for words, his eyes growing wide behind his glasses.
“This is—this—thank you,” Bob finally said, his voice sounding a bit hoarse. “I can’t believe you did all this for me.”
You smiled, sitting down beside him and gently resting your hand over his. “Blow out your candle before it melts into your cupcake,” you giggled.
He grinned at the sound of your laughter, leaning in closer to blow out the single candle, though he kept his eyes fixed on you the whole time.
“Lexie baked them fresh this afternoon. There’s a whole bunch more in the back that I’m going to be sending you home with,” you told him, your heart skipping a beat at the way his face lit up.
“What did I do to deserve all this? This is the best birthday present ever,” Bob chuckled, wrapping his fingers around yours and squeezing lightly.
“I’m glad you think so,” you murmured, glancing down at the table shyly. “The truth is, I was a little nervous to text you earlier.”
Bob looked surprised at your admission. “Why?” he asked, astonished.
You bit your lip and hesitated, but then decided to be honest. Like Lexie said, if you never took a risk, then you never got to see anything change. “I know this is going to sound so stupid, but I was worried you would think it was too much if I texted you for your birthday.”
“Too much?” he repeated, his brow crinkling in obvious confusion.
“You know, just because you had only mentioned your birthday once. I thought maybe I would seem too desperate or clingy or something if I reached out. I thought it would freak you out,” you confessed. “I know that sounds pretty dumb when I say it out loud.”
“No, it doesn’t,” Bob assured you, shaking his head slowly. “I know what you mean. To be honest, I think I’ve had that problem myself. Y’know, coming off too eager and scaring girls away,” he admitted, blushing as he ducked his head.
“Oh, Bob,” you murmured in understanding, lacing your fingers through his. With all the other things you two had in common, it shouldn’t have surprised you that a crappy dating history was something else you shared. “You could never scare me off,” you promised him.
Lifting his head, he smiled at you and reached out slowly, his fingertips stirring a few wisps of your hair as he brushed your cheek lightly. “And you could never freak me out. It meant so much to me that you remembered my birthday. It made my whole day, in fact. Even more than the funfetti cupcakes,” he said, his eyes crinkling. He was quiet for a moment, thoughtful, then added softly, “I remember everything about you.”
“You do?” you whispered, feeling a sudden surge of emotion well up in your throat.
He nodded slowly, his eyes never leaving yours. “Your favorite movies, the fact that you like tomatoes but hate ketchup, the way you throw your head back when you laugh really loudly. Your favorite flowers. I remember it all.”
“Bob,” you breathed out, the tears brimming in your eyes as your gaze dropped from his eyes down to his mouth.
You weren’t really sure who moved first, but soon enough, Bob was holding you in his arms, your lips pressed together in a kiss that was much less chaste than your first one, but just as sweet. Your arms snaked around his neck, one hand burying itself in his soft hair, the other resting on the nape of his neck. He let out a soft groan in response, one of his large hands resting on your hip and the other splaying across your back, holding you close.
It was a kiss that was so much like Bob himself—gentle, kind, tender, sweet, affectionate, attentive. He didn’t demand more than you were willing to give, he didn’t try to take anything from you. He just wanted to make you feel how much he cared about you, wanted to make you feel special and cherished. And he did. You hoped more than anything that you were doing the same for him.
Because the truth was that you were already falling for Bob Floyd, and falling hard.
When the two of you finally pulled back—a mutually hesitant parting borne solely of the need for oxygen—you smiled breathlessly, closing your eyes as Bob rested his forehead against yours.
“Okay, maybe that was the best birthday present ever,” he chuckled quietly, his lips brushing against your temple.
“I think so, too, and it’s not even my birthday,” you grinned, resting your head against his shoulder. “Are you going to have your cupcake?” you asked, glancing down at where it sat on the plate, still untouched.
“Mhm,” Bob nodded, wrapping an arm around you and brushing his fingers up and down your arm. “But there actually is something I’d like to ask you first,” he said, suddenly sounding nervous.
Lifting your head, you looked up at him, trying to figure out why he suddenly looked so flustered.
“Of course. What is it?” you questioned, resting a hand on his arm.
“Well, all of this has been amazing,” he began, pushing his glasses back up onto the bridge of his nose. You had noticed they had a tendency to slide down when he was particularly nervous. “But there actually is one more thing that I’d really like for my birthday this year.”
You raised your eyebrows curiously. “What is it?”
Bob swallowed deeply and then looked directly into your eyes. “Will you be my girlfriend?”
Your lips parted as a little gasp of delighted surprise escaped you. It may have been Bob’s birthday, but it felt like you were the one being showered with gifts today.
“Oh, Bob, yes! Yes!” you exclaimed, throwing your arms around him and pressing another kiss to his lips.
“Yes?” Bob repeated between kisses, as if he couldn’t believe what he was hearing.
“Yes,” you told him seriously, cupping his cheek in your hand. “Nothing would make me happier.”
“Oh, darlin’,” he breathed out, the term of endearment falling easily off his tongue in that adorable midwestern accent of his. He pulled you into his arms once more and kissed you soundly.
You giggled softly as you reached for the funfetti cupcake and removed the candle, holding it up for him to take a bite. “Happy Birthday, Bob.”
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ladyloveandjustice · 28 days
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A Ranking of the '4 Days of Ohtori: Someday My Revolution Will Come' Revolutionary Girl Utena Game Endings
I was commissioned to do a post ranking the endings of the Revolutionary Girl Utena dating sim based on quality and enjoyment! I did a liveblog for it for it a while ago, see here. If you know nothing about the game, I think you should read it and then come back to this post. It's a fun liveblog!
I was also asked to talk about if any of the endings work out well for the main character (who I call Purple Pigtails).
Basically all of the endings aren't ideal for Perfect Pigtails. Her dad is sick enough she has to leave Ohtori to help him iirc, she doesn't ever get to reconcile with Chigusa even though she badly wanted to (it's implied she had a crush on her despite everything, but she had to basically kill her). She also knows her dad's a piece of shit now, and that both her parents lied to her. I doubt she'll ever trust them again. She may even hate her Dad now. Her family was a lie, and that's very sad. On top of that, several of the endings imply she may come back to Ohtori which is honestly not a good thing for her!!! So none of them really work out for her, but I'm going to talk about which ones work out for her the least and the most as I rank the endings.
My favorite endings of the Utena video game, from best to worst:
Juri Ending
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So, after much deliberation my favorite ending is the Juri one. The fact that her response to Purple Pigtails falling in love with her is "sorry, can't just enter a healthy lesbian relationship because I am super committed to this toxic one. You know that girl I painfully pine over while starting at her in my locket? That locket I wish I could throw away? Well I'm giving you your own pining locket to torment you with MY picture. We can be sad lesbians together."
It's just so Juri. Has to spread her unhealthy behavior everywhere. I don't think she knows any other way to deal with this stuff except to put it in a locket, keep it a secret and stare at it longingly. So she assumes Purple Pigtails needs that too. It's just...incredibly funny but also incredibly sad.
Does this ending work out for Purple Pigtails? Not really, no, she has to leave her crush behind and mirror Juri's unhealthy behavior. As long as she has that locket she can never move on or find a girlfriend. I will say she's better off than Juri though, because at least her crush doesn't try to actively torment her every chance she gets. I also think she's more likely to eventually put away the locket than Juri. She only knew Juri four days and isn't quite as fucked up as her. But then again, I could see her go on a similar quest to find Juri someday, like Utena did for her prince...but I don't think Juri will ever be in the position to be what she needs, even if she's healed and moved on. Because no real princes exist.
Then again, the fact Purple Pigtails was able to leave Ohtori at all means she was able to grow up and move on herself. She's accepted that her childhood was never what she thought it was...so maybe such a quest is unlikely. Maybe she will move on pretty quickly. Or maybe being obsessed with Juri means she will be welcomed back to Ohtori soon...
Anthy ending
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My second favorite ending is the Anthy ending. The only reason it's lower than the Juri ending is that the washing each other's back scene is a little uncomfortable to watch, knowing Purple Pigtails has no trouble coercing sexual favors from Anthy. Whether this is all part of Anthy's plan or not, she is likely not enjoying this...and yet it's framed fairly comedically, which feels weird.
But otherwise? God it's perfect, so wonderfully absurd, so wonderfully Anthy. Her plan here is so elaborate and there are so many layers. There's also the question of why the hell she even did all this, which is so intriguing.
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The way she's so direct with Purple Pigtails, her resentment and cynicism coming out, is great. Purple Pigtails is pretending she wants her, but she only wants power.
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She also actively sabotages Utena in the fight in order get with Purple Pigtails. Why?
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But after that, she also sabotages Purple Pigtails, deliberately keeping her up all night with uh. possibly sex, (again, uncomfy) to ensure she'll be too tired to concentrate the next day. But she does this so PP will lose to Utena even though Utena doesn't have a sword anymore.
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Anthy played PP so thoroughly, but again, why? My theory when I first played this was Anthy was feeling guilty about her inevitable betrayal of Utena and was trying to get with Purple Pigtails, only to immediately realize there's no way PP could become a prince so she goes back to Utena.
But there are a lot of options. Maybe Anthy and/or Akio needed PP to be taken out. She was upsetting their plans somehow, so she needed to be defeated so humiliatingly she'd never try to get with Anthy again. It could explain why PP eventually left in the other endings, maybe she actually hadn't moved on, maybe Akio felt she was too much of a risk (possibly by how things got so complicated with Chigusa, too much of a distraction for the duelists) and kicked her out.
Or maybe this was all to test to find out where she was a prince candidate, and she was found wanting...considering you have to order rose tea as a prerequisite, this one's very possible.
It's all so fascinating. Maybe I should have put it as favorite...ok, let's say it's this and Juri tied.
Obviously this doesn't work out at all from Purple Pigtails Perspective. She becomes a supervillain, she's humiliatingly defeated, and she very well may be stuck at Ohtori for a long time...and fact she doesn't appear in the anime implies she's no longer friends with any of them. Maybe Akio made everyone forget about her. Maybe she was so bitter she rejected them all.
Utena's ending (Romantic Version)
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(As a PS... it's very obvious the girls aren't allowed to kiss on the lips in this game, likely because of outside pressure, both Saionji and Miki get lips, while Utena and Juri do the princely forehead kiss (but you could also argue it's because they are the most "princely characters...and imitating the prince kiss is 100% in character for Utena. Also kissing a girl on the lips at this point in the story would pretty much short circuit Utena. Send her into such a lesbian crisis her heart might give out)
This ending is so sweet on the outside, but then you peel a layer back and see how fucked up it is. Utena very deliberately imitates her "prince" here, and that will someday horrify her, that she imitated Akio and got another girl obsessed with princes. And obviously that's very bad for PP too, since the thesis of Utena is the chivalrous prince who will save you is a lie.
Utena's words imply they will meet again and there's not a lot of outcomes that are good for that. One outcome is that PP goes back to Ohtori to find Utena, only to find she's already gone. But then Akio has a replacement Utena, right there. I'm not sure that would even matter, with Anthy gone, there's no way he can like, use her for anything...but he might take his anger at Utena and Anthy out on her. The better option is PP finds Utena in the real world, and sees that she and Anthy are officially girlfriends and have become healthier people. That might be good for her, actually--I'm sure Utena would encourage her to move on, find her own identity, and Utena would still want to be friends. Or she could ignore Utena andsink into bitterness and jealousy.
One of the most screwed up things about this ending is that PP basically loses her individuality and has become a copy of another person. It's not great for her that she's so wrapped up in Utena that it's her identity now. It's very sad just like it was with Anthy in the manga.
So no, I don't think this ending goes well for Purple Pigtails at all. She loses who she is, becomes obsessed with something that's just a false patriarchal idol, and that makes her vulnerable to Ohtori. Her only hope is finding Utena in the real world, and Utena making up for her past mistake.
Miki's ending
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It was such a chore to get to this ending, but it's worth it for how funny it is. Purple Pigtails immediately deciding she actually wasn't in love with Miki after all (hint it's because she's a lesbian hint) and just. blowing him off, pretending she has a boyfriend back home. Legendary of her, and honestly Miki kind of deserves it. From his perspective it must feel like she really played with his feelings, though.
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Because it doesn't exist, Miki!!! It was never real!!!!
She does say she "likes younger boys" after this, but that's just what she's telling herself. Someday she'll realize. Hopefully.
I think its interesting that Miki is the only one in this game who explicitly actually has feelings for her. He is able to move on from his sister (sort of. I mean at the very least iirc he never compares PP to Kozue that I can remember. Which is HUGE for him), but none of the rest can move on past their obsessions.
I actually think this works out pretty well for PP. She's not too attached to Miki, so she's unlikely to go back to Ohtori, and it doesn't break her heart to leave him, she's still herself, and I think she'll be able to move on.
Touga Ending (italicized since I haven't seen the whole route)
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I haven't fully watched this route, so I don't know what it takes to get there. If I did it might affect my opinion, so take it with a grain of salt. But while this ending is so mean and horrible, it is also so darkly funny. Touga distilled. He's such a asshole that it is impossible to get any thing positive from your ending with him even in a dating sim, and that's amazing. You think you've won but you lost. You lost the second you decided to date Touga.
Basically, Touga promises he will write PP every single day, and he will come visit her too, and she's ecstatic.
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And then he goes and burns her address, calling her stupid, because of course he fucking does. Thus PP is totally ghosted, left despairing and wondering why.
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It is also very interesting he's the only love interest she does NOT get a kiss from, unexpected since Touga has not problem kissing girls he does not give a shit about. Either he just, genuinely hates her guts THAT much or he's ---
ahhh shit. I just looked it up. You can have PP have sex with him. In fact you have to actively avoid it if you don't want to. So that's why he doesn't need a kiss. Her already got what he wanted. That actually makes this ending so much more heartbreaking, a lot of girls place a lot of importance on their first time, and PP was treated so cruelly with hers. This goddamn prick.
It is horrible, but it is exactly what I'd expect Touga to do (esp since this is set so early in the story) and I think it's incredible the game was so true to his character that you just get a straightforward unhappy ending when you date him. The others at least APPEAR a little happy, though they're quite sad when you think about them for long, but the game makes no pretenses with Touga. It just goes "no, you got nothing good out of this relationship, this man is trash, he played you like he does everyone"
Obviously this is pretty sad for Purple Pigtails, who gets manipulated and ghosted, and, depending on your choices, gets to have the lovely experience of a horrible older boy manipulating her, fucking her, and throwing her away at the tender age of 14. But, assuming she is able to move on (I hope so?) this might be happier than others for her in the long run (especially if she avoids having sex with him). Touga ghosting her means he won't be able to torment her further, and that's better than any other option with him. Unless, of course, she goes back to Ohtori to get an explanation...
Perfect Ending
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I do like the perfect ending bc of the funny interactions the council get in--Juri teasing Miki about liking older girls and Miki getting extremely flustered, Touga being so fucking annoying especially when he insists on calling Saionji BEST FRIEND over and over until Saionji is like "can you shut the fuck up''...
The goodbye with Utena is fairly generic though, just the tiniest bit gay. One thing that is interesting for this ending is PP wanting to learn fencing.
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It's ambiguous who she's talking about here, she could even mean Chigusa despite the fact she's deader than dead, or it could be "we don't know which person she's most attracted too ooooh".
As far as working out for Purple Pigtails? She escapes romantic trauma, which is great for her, but she seems really determined to go back to Ohtori in this one, and as has been said many times, that is not good for her.
Akio Ending
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I considered rating this higher bc it's so funny how PP calls Akio on his bullshit.
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But there's the fact that PP's particular Akio ending is even more uh, rape-coded than any other Akio car ride, IIRC? It's not only the fact she's underage, but she actively begs Akio to stop. But of course that motherfucker doesn't listen.
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It's honestly so sad so that kind of ruins any fun. Which doesn't make it bad, but i don't like thinking about that part.
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This is the second worst ending for PP. Just like the Black Rose and Anthy endings, she's still at Ohtori and has no friends, but there's the sexual assault aspect on top of that. She will be so traumatized, and on top of that she lost humiliatingly, while Akio basically called her worthless.
Saionji ending
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Saionji's ending is both kind of boring and vaguely interesting. (And I'm ranking it like this on the assumption Saionji never hit her, which I assume he didn't from the Youtube comments. While he would definitely be cruel to a gf in multiple ways if she stuck around enough, I think it's possible the only person he would physically abuse while dating is Anthy. which is. something to analyze.) Saionji is (blessedly) silent during most of this ending. only saying "I owe you a lot" when he gives her the present (implying she's been kind of for caring for him, wet pathetic dog that he is, which does fit with the snippets I've seen of this route and echoes his relationship with Wakaba)
Saionji does give her his little leaf (apparently the only present he's capable of making?? like if he can carve this leaf he must know how to carve other things, right??? maybe it's just the carving he's best at) but PP knows he's too obsessed with Anthy (and Touga. the obsession with Anthy is just an extension of an obsession with Touga lets all be honest here) to return her feelings and they're both pretty honest and open about things. But THEN she claims she'll come back and make him look her way someday.. AND THEN she just plants one on him out of nowhere. Girl, you forget about consent!
Honestly Saionji just seems extremely confused and freaked out about it, even his expression afterwards, which makes me feel bad for him, something I'd never thought I'd say in my life. It's kind of interesting to see him like that. But...it doesn't stand out too much other than that. It's kind of just like. okay girl. calm down.
This one does not work out perfectly for PP since she seems pretty determined to come back to Ohtori and make Saionji love her, which is definitely never going to happen. But she doesn't lose her identity, doesn't get a pining locket, Saionji is surprisingly nice to her, unlike Wakaba she knows she doesn't have a chance right now, so she wasn't hugely disappointed...so it could be worse.
Utena Friendship Ending
Basically the same at the perfect ending, except we never get to see any fun interactions between the group. Boring.
Black Rose Ending
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This one claims PP is obsessed with books, which has never come up in the game before, so it feels out of nowhere and like it wasn't properly developed. There's not much to dig into, when there should be. And her defeat is basically the same as the Akio endings, so it doesn't add much.
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(Utena is being so mean here!!!! You know she's brainwashed why are you being an asshole about her skill!)
One the worst endings from PP's perspective, her mind is messed with, she literally has no friends, and she's stuck at Ohtori.
Game over
Obviously a Game Over is pretty boring. The game just ends. Bye.
I think PP would disappear from the world in the game over ending, just like Chigusa wanted. So this is the worst ending for her, she not only dies. she's erased from existence. At least in the other endings she gets to live.
(also I think either this one or the perfect ending are canon for the anime. The game over ending makes a lot of sense, since they would all forget PP and all that happened with her ever existed, and that would be the explanation for why she's never mentioned in the anime. But the more optimistic take is that the perfect ending is canon, and nobody ever mentions her because she just doesn't come up.
So there's my favorites ranked from best to worst.
NOW let's rank the endings from worst to best for Perfect Pigtails!
Game Over (she dies)
Akio Car Ending
Black Rose Ending
Anthy Ending (it's possible for her to have friends in this one)
Touga Ending (provided a) he has sex with her and b) she is unable to move on from what happened. Without those two factors though, it's under Utena's in the long run)
Utena Ending
Juri Ending
Saionji Ending
Perfect Ending
Miki Ending is the best one for her, weirdly! (Or at least my interpretation of it. She got out unscathed and has no desire to return to Ohtori!)
---
And those are my rankings! I hope everyone who read this far enjoyed the rambling.
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After All This Time | Bucky Barnes x Reader
Hello! Who wants to have their feelings hurt?! 🙋🏻‍♀️ I love some good angst, some pain, some emotional turmoil. 
Warnings: relationship drama, references to violence, arguments, crying, ex!Bucky
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“What are you doing here?” You stared at Bucky, shocked. Perplexed. He had no business at your apartment. Especially not so late at night. Especially not after what he’d done. The way he’d treated you. It took a long time- too long- to achieve some sense of normalcy after things fell apart. After he broke your heart. You weren’t over him; you feared you never would be. But you finally arrived at something that resembled stability. You were nearly okay- nearly.
But Bucky’s unexpected presence took you out at the knees. Was he always this beautiful? Or did you just miss him? His hair was a bit longer, his stubble a little scruffier. His deep blue eyes softened at the sight of you. No, he was always this beautiful. Dammit.
His expression was stern. Serious. Just like it had been when he left. He’d promised you he’d never come back. “Can I come in?” He was a liar, apparently.
“What? No.”
Bucky breezed past you anyway.
You crossed your arms over your chest, hiding the fact that you weren’t wearing a bra. Your arms hugged your body, crisscrossing over your old college shirt. Thank god you hadn’t opted to wear one of the many henleys he’d left behind. The humiliation of him seeing you in one of his old shirts would’ve been too much. You knew you shouldn’t wear them anymore, but you couldn’t help it. Couldn’t stop yourself from cloaking your body in the comfort they provided. It was sad, maybe even a little pathetic. But you didn’t know how to stop.
“Hey- You can’t just barge into my apartment-”
“Shut the door.”
You stared at him, incredulous. “No. What do you- get out.”
Bucky closed and locked the door for you. His fingers twisted the key in the deadbolt and fastened the chain. He even pulled on the door once- then twice. It was secure. He positioned his body in front of it- either blocking your way out or someone else’s way in. You weren’t sure which.
“Go pack a bag. We’re leaving here in five minutes.” He checked his watch, “Sooner, if you can manage it.” He looked up from his wrist and finally let himself drink you in. Were you always this breathtaking? Or was he just happy to see you? Your skin glowed in the yellow light of your reading lamp. Your hair was shorter now- he liked it. Yeah, you were always this intoxicating. Bucky wondered how he could even question it.
“Are you out of your mind? We’re not going anywhere.” Anger was easier. Easier than sadness, than heartbreak. You let wrath wrap itself around your heart, shielding you from the pain. Bucky didn’t belong in your home anymore, no matter how badly you wished he did. He didn’t want to be here- he didn’t want you. He’d made that painfully clear.
And though part of you liked seeing him here, existing in the home you once shared, you knew it would only serve to hurt you. Your voice was quieter this time, less confident, “You need to leave.”
He let out a huff, as though he had the right to be annoyed with you. “Just trust me on this,”,
“Trust you? That’s hilarious-”
“You’re not safe here,” he said. His tone was firm, irrefutable. “Someone attacked Pepper and Morgan. Clint’s wife, Laura, and their kids. Murdock’s associate- that guy Nelson.”
A burst of worry shot through you, “Shit. Are they okay?”
“They’re fine. They’ve all been relocated.” He wondered how you could worry about others while bypassing any concern for yourself. But the distress on your face was real; you’d gotten close with the families of the team before Bucky left. They welcomed you like one of their own, and your care for them survived even after things with Bucky died.
“Sam is taking his sister and her kids somewhere- everyone’s moving their loved ones.”
Silence. You waited for Bucky to elaborate. He waited for you to put the pieces together.
“So… why are you here? What does any of that have to do with me?”
“Hydra. They’re coming after our lov-” Bucky cleared his throat, “the people in our lives.”
You shook your head, “Yeah, I get that. But I’m not in your life.”
Bucky knew you weren’t his anymore, but hearing you say it cut him to the bone.
The strong façade you wore threatened to crumble. This was too much for you- almost cruel. Back when things were good, they were really good. You planned on staying with Bucky forever. You saw yourself marrying him, spending the rest of your days together. He’d had other plans. He left you. And never looked back.
“I’m fine here,” you told him. “I don’t need you.”
Bucky struggled for words. This was harder than he thought. “Well… they- they don’t know that we...” He couldn’t bring himself to say it. “Hydra, I mean, they don’t know what um, what happened. We were pretty public- they might think we’re still together. So, I need to get you to a safe house. Just in case.”
“Why?” The question hung heavy in the air.
Bucky didn’t say a word.
“Since when do you care? Don’t act like I matter to you all of a sudden- don’t pretend that you’re worried about me.” You forced every ounce of emotion behind an impenetrable wall, “leave. I’m serious, I’m not going anywhere with you.”
“You’re in danger. And I…” He ran a hand through his hair “Just come with me. Let me protect you.”
“I’m not yours to protect.” The stinging sensation of approaching tears burned behind your eyes. “So… you can go.”
Your words gutted him. He hadn’t felt this much pain since he left, since the last time he saw you. He’d left you alone in the apartment you once shared. He’d shut the door and stood on the other side, unable to walk away. His forehead rested against the wood, and he listened to you. The sound of you sobbing- wailing- drove stakes into his chest. But he knew it was better this way.
“Yeah, I know that…” he said, his voice softer now. “But your family, your friends- they’ll be devastated if something happens to you. Don’t do that to them. Come with me. And when this blows over, I’ll leave you alone. I promise.”
You hated that he was right. To let your pride endanger your life was selfish, stupid. You could practically hear your mom telling you to go with him.
But there was a side of you would rather die at the hands of Hydra than share a safe house with Bucky. Sure, you missed him. A lot. You wished he’d never walked out that door. But spending days- or weeks- with him? Just the two of you? In a secluded location? It would tear you to pieces.
You grumbled under your breath, “fine. How long will we be gone?”
“I don’t know.”
“Okay, then- where are we going?”
He shrugged, “I don’t know. Coordinates will be sent to the jet once we board.”
“Okay, great. Perfect. I don’t know how much to pack. I don’t know what kind of clothes I need. Awesome. Thanks, James.” You turned on your heel and headed toward your bedroom, “I’ll be out in a minute.”
James. James. You’d never called him James. Ever. Not even in a joking sense. He was always Bucky or Buck or Barnes or baby- depending on the context. Never James. It was so impersonal, you regarding him by his government name. So cold. Distant. He knew he deserved it- deserved way worse. But it stung, nonetheless.
With you busy in the other room, Bucky drank in the warmth of your apartment. It was inviting, cozy. Just like always. You’d gotten a few new pieces of art since he left; they took up the spaces left empty by the photos you removed. The picture of the two of you from a Stark gala. A strip of the two of you laughing in a photo booth at the pier. A polaroid of him kissing your cheek at Sam’s birthday party. He wondered what you did with them. Did you still have them- somewhere? Did you hide them away in a dusty box under the bed he used to share with you?
Or did you burn them?
He missed living there. Missed waking up next to you, missed making dinner for you. Missed you.
“Hey, I’m sorry to call so late…” you said into your phone, cradling it between your ear and your shoulder. “I’m gonna have to work from, um- I have to leave town for a little while.”
Bucky heard you on the phone with your boss, doing your best to lie your way through the situation. But you didn’t give much detail, just like he’d taught you when you first started dating. He told you never to trust anyone fully- never to believe that someone is worthy of every secret. He’d been speaking about outsiders. But when he left, he proved to you that no one deserved your trust. Not even him.
“Yeah, just family stuff,” he heard you say. “My cousin has been sick and took a turn for the worst, so… I need to be there just in case.”
He was so proud.
You stuffed clothes into a bag and rounded up the necessary toiletries. Your laptop, headphones, and a few books made the cut, and you grabbed the bag’s zipper, prepared to give it a final yank. But as you tried to close it up, a piece of fabric caught your eye. You let out a deep sigh. You’d moved on instinct, grabbing things from your closet and dresser without thinking. And some of Bucky’s old clothes had found their way among your items.
A flannel, two henleys, and a sweatshirt sat nestled at the bottom of your bag. They were some of your favorite things to wear- soft, comfortable, cozy. But you couldn’t bring them with you. Not when there was a chance Bucky would see them. You quickly swapped them out with pieces that didn’t belong to him and thanked the universe you’d noticed before it was too late.
When you emerged moments later with duffel bag in hand, Bucky was waiting for you. He hadn’t moved from his spot by the door. Hadn’t taken off his jacket. He wasn’t welcome here anymore. And making himself at home wasn’t right.
“Uh, here’s this,” he outstretched a hand in your direction and offered you a phone. “We can’t be sure that your phone isn’t being tracked. So, you have to leave yours here. This is a burner- just for emergencies.”
You dropped your phone on the counter with a dramatic groan and took the burner from his hand. Not only were you to be trapped for an indeterminant amount of time with the man who ripped your heart out of your chest and eviscerated it in front of your eyes- but you also had to give up your phone. “This feels like a kidnapping.”
“Yeah. Sorry.” He made a move for your bag, “I can take that for you-”
“I got it”.
With a nod, he opened the door and checked the hall for potential dangers. And when he deemed it safe, he gestured for you to join him. He watched you lock the door- and smiled to himself when he realized you still used the same key. You never changed the locks after he left.
“This is the most conspicuous thing I’ve ever seen…” A jet sat on the roof of your building, just a few feet from the stairwell. “If Hydra didn’t know where I was before, they definitely do now.”
Bucky gave an awkward laugh, paired with a quiet “yeah”, and tried to help you board. But you shied away from any attempts as assistance. You needed to prove to Bucky that you didn’t need him anymore- no matter how untrue it was.
The flight was awkward. Quiet. Tense. You couldn’t escape to the back of the jet and hide from Bucky- there was no ‘back’. It was a small aircraft. Only enough room for two. It forced you to sit next to him, watching clouds paint with windows with their condensation as the jet sliced through the sky.
“So…” Bucky said after a while, “how’ve you been?”
You quieted him with a look.
The answer to his question was complicated- you didn‘t have the emotional energy to explain. Diving into how angry and miserable and lonely you’d been since his departure would take hours. Maybe days. And he didn’t deserve the inside scoop. He wasn’t welcome to your secrets or the inner workings of your mind- not anymore.
“We’re here…” Bucky said, his voice pulling you from your light sleep. You didn’t realize you’d nodded off. But sleep was the only escape from the painfully awkward situation he’d put you in.
“Okay, so…” Bucky opened the door to the house and gestured for you to enter before him. Still such a gentleman. “I know this place is kinda small. But I’m gonna do my best to not be in your space.” He flipped on a few lights and bathed the house in a warm yellow light. “They promised that the kitchen is stocked. I think there’s firewood somewhere in case we get cold. And there should be clean sheets and towels and stuff in a closet somewhere. As for the, um…” He cleared his throat, “the sleeping arrangements. There’s only one bedroom, so it’s yours- I’m gonna take the couch.”
He threw his bag over the back of the couch and watched it bounce against the cushions. “Let me know if you need anything.”
What you needed, he couldn’t give you. He couldn’t go back in time and reverse the effects of breaking your heart. He couldn’t rid you of the agony brought on by his absence. And so, with a curt nod, you bid him goodnight.
It was nearly three in the morning by the time you made the bed and crawled beneath the covers. You curled into a ball and pulled the blankets up over your head, as though protecting yourself. This had to be a joke. A prank. The wound Bucky’s departure caused had barely scabbed over- and his return flayed it wide open. It throbbed and ached as you cried under the safety of your blankets. You didn’t know what you’d done in a past life to deserve hurt like this.
Bucky collapsed onto the couch. He slumped forward and rested his head in his hands, replaying every moment since you opened the door. The look on your face when you saw him again, the disdain in your voice, the distrust you held for him- it made his chest ache. He hated himself for throwing away the best thing he’d ever had. For hurting you. For breaking the trust you’d built together.
He didn’t sleep that night- the pain didn’t let him. He, instead, remained awake. Wired. He cleaned his guns. Double and triple checked his supply of ammo. He made sure every window was locked, every door secure. He wasn’t going to let anything happen to you.
The following day passed slowly. Bucky made enough breakfast for both of you, and kept your portion warm while he did the dishes and waited for you to wake. But you never joined him. You remained holed up in your room, miserable.
You didn’t care about Hydra; they couldn’t hurt you more than Bucky already had. Sure, they could beat you senseless and bleed you dry. They could torture you and hold you hostage. But it simply couldn’t compare. Physical injuries heal. They scab over and turn to scars. But the pain Bucky caused never ceased. The wound bled day and night. His mark on you could never be fixed.
Only when your hunger pangs grew painful did you leave the safety of your room.
“Hey, I made breakfast…” Bucky said when you finally emerged, “I tried to keep yours warm but- it’s in the fridge if you want it. I know it’s well past breakfast time and you probably don’t want cold spinach scramble and hashbrowns, but-”
He was being so nice;  he still remembered your favorite breakfast. You thought back on all the Sunday mornings you’d spent together, making breakfast and listening to music. Drinking coffee. Dancing in the kitchen until the food almost burned. But you banished the memories. And sent away the warm feelings brought on by Bucky cooking for you again.
You didn’t make eye contact, didn’t thank him. Instead, you rummaged through the cabinets until you found a jar of peanut butter and a loaf of bread. “I’ll make something for myself,” you told him.
“Oh- okay, yeah. Knives are in the drawer to your left.” Bucky felt himself hovering. He stood across the kitchen island from you like an expectant child hoping for the approval of a stern parent. He knew he’d never get it, didn’t deserve it. But he couldn’t help himself. Being so close to you felt good. Really good. And though he’d promised he wouldn’t invade your space, he found it impossible to walk away.
You, however, couldn’t get away fast enough. You hastily made a sandwich and grabbed a glass of water before retreating to you room, safe from Bucky’s gaze. With the door shut, you allowed yourself to sink down to the floor. A gnawing sense of soul-crushing sadness eclipsed any feelings of hunger. But you forced the sandwich down anyway. You swore to yourself that everything would be okay, that you’d go home soon enough and try once again to heal.  
But you didn’t believe your own words.
Bucky hated how uncomfortable you were around him. It was his fault, and he knew it, but it made him sad all the same. At one time, he’d been the person you loved most. The person you  cared for. The one you could trust. You knew, without a doubt, that you could go to him with anything. Any problem, any worry- no matter how small. And he’d find a way to make it better. And if he couldn’t fix it, he could at least make you smile. He could bring you comfort and make you feel safe. Loved. He was the only one you wanted. The only person for you. His soul and yours were forged in the same fire- just a few decades apart.
But that fire was dead- snuffed out. And Bucky no longer held the secret key to your heart. He brought you only anguish and anxiety. Torment. Agony. And he hated himself for it.
He wondered if you’d spent all your time hiding in that bedroom. He wouldn’t blame you if you did. You weren’t happy around him like you used to be- why would you subject yourself to such unpleasant feelings unless it were absolutely necessary? He resolved to give you as much space as possible, to leave the room when you made your way to the kitchen. To not hover. Anything to make you more comfortable.
And if that meant that he didn’t get to speak to you for the remainder of your time in hiding, then so be it.
That night, however, he got to speak to you again.
He didn’t rest the night of your arrival, not even for a moment. And it finally got to him. He turned in early, falling asleep on the floor in front of the fireplace. The last few embers glowed orange beneath the charred wood, but all warmth was gone. His sleeping form tossed and turned beneath a thin blanket. Droplets of sweat bloomed from his skin as heaving breaths forced their way into his chest.
A familiar sound woke you in the middle of the night. You hadn’t heard it in quite some time, but knew you’d never forget it. Bucky was having a nightmare. And before you had a moment to rethink your actions, you were up. You ditched your bedding and fled in the direction of his screams.
And he woke to the soft sound of your voice.
“Bucky, hey…” you placed your hands on his shoulders. “Hey, wake up. Bucky-”
His eyes flew open and quickly focused on your face. And though your presence brought a relief he hadn’t experienced in what felt like years, it was too late. His heart hammered against his ribs; his lungs burned. He couldn’t breathe.
“You’re okay. You’re alright. Here-” One of your hands migrated from his shoulder to his chest while the other searched for one of his. You dragged his hand upward and mirrored the placement, pressing his palm to your sternum. It was muscle memory, a deep-seeded reflex you didn’t know you still had. You used to do it every night- back when Bucky was still yours. He liked it. He said it made him feel like you were synching your heartbeat with his. And it always calmed him down.
Bucky let loose a deep sigh of relief. It seemed to come from somewhere else completely, like he’d been holding his breath since the last time he touched you. Your pulse beat strong and steady beneath his hand, thudding against his palm like his own personal metronome. And maybe it was all in his head, but he felt his own heartrate slow. He breathed easier. A smile pricked at the corners of his mouth.
But you pulled away all too soon.
Bucky sat up in pursuit of your recoiling hand, “Thank you…”
“Yeah.” You stood, hoping to make it back to your room before the tears began to fall. But Bucky’s words stopped you.
“I really- I really appreciate you waking me. And doing… that. For me.” He felt himself growing sheepish, but couldn’t let the encroaching embarrassment get the best of him. “I missed it- I missed you.”
Something in you snapped.
You turned toward him with a strange mixture of anger and pain burning behind your eyes, your breathing growing ever sharper.
“Why am I here?” Your tone was calm, measured. It was the kind of rage that turned your words to ice. To stone.
He cocked his head to the side, “um, because of Hydra. Because you’re in danger…”
“But why am I here?” You felt yourself losing control, “You heard they were going after the team’s loved ones and you thought to yourself, ‘hmm, that girl I completely destroyed, that girl whose life I ruined, that girl who I most certainly do not love, that girl I left for no reason, she’s in danger! Hydra will probably go after her, you know, since I haven’t seen her or spoken to her in almost a year!’”
Bucky didn’t know what to say.
“This makes no fucking sense, James!”
James. You’d let one or two ‘Buckys’ slip earlier- never again.
“Why did you come to my apartment? Why did you fucking kidnap me and bring me to this stupid house? Why did you put me on the same tier as Tony’s wife? As Clint’s wife? We aren’t together, I’m not in your life, and I’m certainly not a ‘loved one’- you made that painfully clear.  Why did you-”
“Because I still love you”
You rolled your tear-filled eyes, “Don’t you fucking lie to me.”
“I’m not lying…” Bucky sighed. “I swear on my life.”
An ugly scoff broke free from your throat, “I’m supposed to believe that? You once ‘swore on your life’ that you’d never hurt me. And that shit clearly wasn’t true, so-”
“I swear on Steve’s life. I swear on his grave,” Bucky’s voice wavered ever so slightly. “I still love you. I never stopped.”
It rendered you speechless.
“I never wanted to hurt you. And I didn’t want to leave. But I didn’t know what else to do.”
You stared at him for a moment, dumbfounded. “You ‘didn’t know what else to do’? You left me because you ‘didn’t know what else to do’?”
Bucky shook his head. Regret pooled in his chest, and he wished to take back every stupid word. “That’s not what I meant-” he sighed. “I mean… I’m- I’m not meant for this. To be with someone. To be loved. Bad stuff- really bad stuff- follows me around. The war and the train and Hydra and Zemo and Thanos and the blip and the Flag Smashers and-”
He fought to catch his breath. “I break things. Anything I touch- it gets ruined.” He paused for a moment. Everything inside his head moved too fast. It blurred past him and fell from his lips before he had a chance to make edits. And if he was going to fix this, he needed to be in control.
“I never wanted to break you. Or put you in danger.”
“You never hurt me- physically…” you said. “You know I was never scared of you- I didn’t think I was ever in danger with you. I didn’t think you’d break me-”
“No, I know. I know.” Getting to that point had been hard for him. He shied away from you for so long, scared he’d somehow make you bleed or paint your skin with bruises. But you’d worked with him. You showed him patience and moved at his pace, working through the fear he held.
“What I mean is… I got scared because people knew about us. Our relationship was public. And I was afraid that putting you in the public eye like that would invite danger. A lot of people hate me- they want revenge. Retribution. So I thought…” he rolled his eyes at his past-self, at the version of him who let you get away. “I thought removing myself from your life would ensure your safety.” He shrugged, “no one would have reason to come after you if we weren’t together-”
“And look where we are now…” you said, “Hiding. In a safehouse. Because my life is in jeopardy.” Part of you- the soft side- wanted to show him mercy. To hold him and make him feel safe. To console him. But the side of you who wore brass knuckles and steel toed bootsa prevailed, “That was a really fucking stupid thing to do…”
Bucky gave a pained chuckle, “yeah, I- I know.” His cheeks reddened ever so slightly, and his shoulders slumped with shame. He knew he fucked up. “I’m sorry. About all of it. About leaving. About hurting you- God, I never wanted to hurt you.” The pain in his eyes could’ve made you crumble.
“And I’m sorry about putting you in harm’s way. About abducting you like this.” He took a small step in your direction; he couldn’t pretend like he wasn’t drawn to you. But he knew he had no right to exist in such close proximity to the person he hurt. And so he stopped himself, no matter how badly he wished he didn’t have to.
“But to answer your question with full honesty…” he said,  “you’re here because I love you. Because I’ll always love you. And even though you hate my guts- which you absolutely should- I care about you. And I want to keep you safe, as safe as I can. I want to protect you.” He let out a sigh, “And I know you’re not… you’re not mine to protect, but-” The words tasted like vinegar. If Bucky thought hearing them hurt, he was wrong. Saying them was far worse. “you’re here because I would rather die than let anything happen to you.”
He didn’t like the way your shoulders were yanked up near your ears, the way your arms sat crossed over your chest- like you were trying to protect yourself. But he understood. He’d hurt you- badly. Left you gutted and bleeding. He knew you’d never trust another thing he said- rightfully so.
Silent tears flowed freely down your cheeks and dripped down your neck. The weight of Bucky’s words forced you to lean against the nearest wall. Everything your friends said about him, everything your family told you- it was wrong. He wasn’t apathetic. He wasn’t inconsiderate or manipulative. He was just misguided- maybe a little stupid.
“I told myself…” you finally said, “for months, I told myself that you never loved me. That you used me to make yourself feel better.”
Bucky vehemently shook his head, “that’s not-”
“What was I supposed to do? I needed something to make me feel better…” you said. “It was easier to think that you never loved me. But you left me because you loved me? That’s- that was a terrible idea, by the way.”
“I know…”
A fresh wave of tears cascaded from your eyes and left droplets on your shirt. “I want… I want to believe you. I want to believe every nice thing you just said and pick up right where we left off. But I’m…” You pulled the sleeves of your shirt over your hands and wiped the tears from your cheeks, “I’m scared- I’m scared to trust you again. To let my guard down.”
Bucky took another small step in your direction. “That’s fine, that’s… understandable- more than understandable. Smart.”
You nodded.
“And I don’t want you to think- I’m not telling you all of this to convince you to get back together with me. Or to upset you- I never want to hurt you again. You just deserve to know the truth. So…”
He wondered how the two of you got to this point. How you went from domestic bliss to something so ugly. But he knew exactly how it happened- it was his fault. And he didn’t deserve a second chance. He deserved to be alone for the rest of his life while you moved on, found someone new- someone better. He wanted that for you. Of course, he’d rather have you all to himself. But it wasn’t right.
“It’s just- I’ve been regretting… well, everything, since the moment I left. I wish I would’ve talked to you, you know? I wish I was honest. I wish I told you what was going on inside my head.” He ran a hand through his hair, “maybe things would’ve been different.”
“You have no idea how badly I’ve wanted to hear you say these things…” you said. “But now that you’re saying them it feels…” The floor rocked beneath your feet. You teetered to the side and reached for the arm of the couch- it was all too much. The lack of sleep, the emotional exhaustion, the weight of Bucky’s words. You needed to sit.
Bucky reached for you, desperate to help you steady yourself- but he pulled away. He didn’t have permission to touch you. Not anymore.
“Things absolutely would’ve been different,” you let out a deep sigh. Every possible outcome you came up with ended far better than the reality. “Because we would’ve worked through it together. As a team. And no one would’ve gotten hurt.”
All Bucky could do was nod.
“And maybe we’d still end up in this safe house, but we’d probably use it as a makeshift romantic getaway instead of an agonizingly awkward prison sentence.”
The thought brought a smile to Bucky’s face, to yours. It was easy to imagine the two of you camped out in the living room, reading by the fire and drinking old-fashioneds. You’d stay up late watching movies together and sleep until noon. And when the threat was eliminated, you’d almost wish for more danger- anything to keep the two of you in your own little world.
Everything went quiet. Neither of you knew what to say- or if there were any words appropriate for the situation. Was there even anything else to be said? Part of you wanted to retreat to your bedroom. To hide under your covers. But you wouldn’t allow yourself to squander this moment.
A sad smile pulled at your lips. “I don’t know where… where are we supposed to go from here?” You stared at Bucky as though he had all the answers, as though it wasn’t him who burned your world to the ground.
“I don’t think we have to go anywhere,” he said. “Nothing has to change between us- like I said, I’m not trying to change your opinion about me or make you feel bad. When this whole thing blows over, I’ll take you home. I’ll stay out of your hair.” He leaned against the wall opposite you, submitting to his future- and to his past, “I know I can’t change what I did.”
Another long silence filled the space. It pushed its way in between the two of you and rested heavy against your chest. Bucky waited for a curt ‘okay’ or a quick ‘goodnight’, but no such thing came.
“What if I don’t want that?” you said after a while.
He pushed away from the wall, as though your words pulled him upright. “What?”
“What if I want to try again?” Your heart thundered against your chest, growing faster and faster with each passing second.  You stood on the precipice, willing yourself to fall. This was your chance, the opportunity you’d hoped for. And though it sent fear coursing through your veins, you knew you had to jump.
“No matter how many times I tell myself that you hurt me for the fun of it or that you never actually loved me, I don’t believe it. I can’t- even if I want to…” you let out a sad laugh. “Because I know who you are- I know what we had was real. And I think- I know it’s worth trying again.”
A quick flash of pain and anxiety tore through you, hollowing your chest, “And yeah, maybe I’m stupid for being overly optimistic or letting myself be vulnerable with you. But I’m… I’m willing to risk getting hurt all over again.”
Bucky stood stone still, rooted in place. This was all he’d ever wanted. But now that he had it, he feared the thing his heart desired most. What if he fucked up again? What if he hurt you again? What if he squandered his  second chance?
“Are you…” Bucky took a deep breath, “are you sure?”
“I’m sure. Because you’re the only person I’ll ever want, Buck. Because I love you.”
Bucky never thought he’d hear those words again. And before he knew it, he was on the ground in front of you. He sunk to his knees, incapable of standing any longer. He couldn’t think, couldn’t breathe. His tears dampened your skin as he let his head fall against your thighs. He wrapped his arms around you, holding you as close as he possible could. He feared you’d change your mind, that you’d take back everything you said. And if you did, he at least wanted to know that he held you. That he touched you one last time.
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry- you have no idea how sorry I am”, he said between sharp breaths. “I’m gonna make it up to you. I’m gonna make it all up to you, okay? I promise. I’m going to spend the rest of my life proving to you that I love you, that I’d rather die than lose you again. And I’m-”
“Okay, hey… let’s relax a bit.” You met him on the floor and pulled his head against your chest. You ran a hand along his back, soothing him. His shaky breaths were so sharp, so ragged, that they seemed almost painful. “Breathe, Buck. I love you, okay? And I know you love me- I know. You don’t have to prove it.”
Bucky tried to deliver a rebuttal, but you wouldn’t allow it.
“Hey- it’s okay. We’re okay.” You tangled your fingers in his hair, eliciting a deep sigh from his chest. “We’re both tired. And emotional. Let’s just go to sleep, okay? It’s the middle of the night- we can talk things through in the morning.” You gently pulled his head from your chest and swiped the tears from his cheeks. Touching him again, holding him, provided the salve you needed. The wound in your chest started healing. The pain ceased. And for the first time in almost a year, you felt whole.
Your hands found Bucky’s and pulled him up right. With a gentle tug, you led him in the direction of your room.
“Come on,” you said, “let’s go to bed, baby.”
--------------------------------------
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whumpshaped · 9 months
Text
obligatory bday prompts post
whumpee misses their birthday entirely because they're in captivity
whumpee gets kidnapped on their birthday
^ if the kidnapper finds our they taunt them about it
whumper brings captive whumpee a little cake/cupcake with some candles in it. possibly a gift. whumpee is very scared of the gift
cakes whumpee is allergic to
cake that is the only meal whumpee has gotten in days
whumpee blowing out the candles and wishing for freedom
every year whumpee gets to spend their birthday however they want. it's the only day when whumper doesn't mess with them
every year whumpee gets hurt extra on their birthday
pet whumpee being gifted toys and collars
guard dog whumpee being gifted weapons
guard dog whumpee being gifted soft things because they so rarely get to have softness in their life
servant whumpee being gifted a day off
or alternatively, being told that getting to serve is a year round gift
party hats
whumpee whose birthday is just another day in captivity, so they don't even get that to track the time with. they get out and they don't even know how old they are anymore
whumpee who used to never celebrate their birthday being given gifts and a cake for the first time. they're more emotional than theyd like to admit
whumpee who hates that another year has passed
after rescue, birthdays are tainted forever. whumpee never wants to celebrate. it's so hard keeping it a secret from everyone in a culture where people are obsessed with finding out and giving well wishes. they can't just say "stop fucking wishing me a happy birthday i was kidnapped and whipped on the day of every single time and the lashes corresponded to my age so it got worse each time"
whumpee who wants to reclaim their birthday
whumpee who gets severely intoxicated on the day of because it hurts too much
whumpee who wants to celebrate but there's no one to celebrate with
whumpee whose birthday is forgotten both in and out of captivity
whumpee who's trying to make up for lost time
caretaker who spends whumpee's birthday crying because they don't know where whumpee is and they might be dead
whumpee IS dead and their birthday that used to be a big celebration that caretaker loved to bake and prepare for is now just... spent sobbing
caretaker who refuses to celebrate their own birthday because whumpee is missing/badly hurt
caretaker who spends their birthday tending to whumpee
caretaker who shares a birthday with whumpee. it's so awkward now. it's bad.
caretaker who shares a birthday with whumpee. it helps pull whumpee out of the birthday depression
whumper who gets whumpee as a birthday present
whumper who throws a big elaborate party for their own birthday and whumpee is the entertainment
whumpee hates whumper's birthdays. they always get wasted. and that can go either very well or very badly
whumpee who's expected to give gifts to whumper. maybe not even because they're captive. maybe it's a literal societal obligation. technically whumpee could refuse but if they did they'd get judged so harshly
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Thoughts on Jason Todd’s choice of weaponry?
:D an ask! Yay!
Oooh, lets see, I'll start with the crowbars because I appear to be like one of three people on the entire planet who actually likes them.
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They're a tacky as fuck riff on the fact that Jason's death is central to his character. They overemphasize the manner in which he died, muddy the waters about what part of his death is important to him, and strangely cheapens the manner in which he died through the parody feel of it.
No one seems to really disagree with my analysis here, but I happen to enjoy that about them and think it's very on brand for Jason. What can I say? They're fun!
Best Quality - His Wiggles
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This ultra-sharp curved blade used to be his signature character design feature, the way the white streak in his hair is now, and I'm really not sure why it didn't stick!
Best weapon he's ever had, bring it back please!!!!!
The All-Blades
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hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm....
HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM...
I have mixed feelings about the All-Blades. Like much of Lobdell's work: phenomenal idea, poor execution. Giving the guy who is most known for being morally grey a set of powers that is exclusively based on moral absolutes sucks shit, I gotta be honest, and the trick he pulled on the blood blade was cool but ultimately does nothing to solve those problems.
HOWEVER
I want to love them so fucking badly. A set of glowy soul blades is a dope sicknasty off the chain concept and I wish the well wasn't poisoned with the moral implications and the restrictions to use them only on the "Untitled", a set of enemies that only exist for Jason so far as I can tell. If someone seriously took Jason down a magic based path that removed the DnD alignment chart bullshit, I would be so game to see them come back! Hell I wouldn't even insist on a better cooler design for them!
...though uh, yeah those are the least interesting magic sword designs I've ever seen tbh
Normal Ass Swords
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They're alright I guess. Like, there's nothing in it really, but it's not bad?
Guns - Real Bullets
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Excellent, evocative yet simple, straightforwards and to the point. It makes hella sense thematically to boot, love this for him, please give him back his pistols and miniguns and shit
Guns - Rubber Bullets
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Hate. HATE. hate ick disgusting bad NO.
I just fucking hate rubber bullets, like, as a concept. I refuse to accept "non-lethal" bullets as a valid use of gun, either in real life or in fiction. Guns are for putting many holes in things very fast!!!! If you're gonna use a gun, fucking well own up to that!!! Do not play this silly ass game of pretending that you can change out the material and do the same things as with lead bullets but with the video game status effect of "non-lethal" applied. YOU ARE GIVING PEOPLE SMALL CIRCULAR BRUISES. This is still harmful, yes, ooph ouchie, but it is not even slightly a good use of a gun, you are wasting holster space, and carry weight, and the physical materials used to make it all!!
JUST USE A FUCKING STICK! YOU DON'T RUN OUT OF STICK AMMO!
My belief in his capacity to take out enemies is shattered the instant those fuckers are on panel. Maybe this ain't entirely rational, or realistic to how fights go with rubber bullets IRL, but I hate them so much on principle that I will ignore any counterargument you might have that they'd work. I will die on this hill. Rubber bullets BAD. Please stop making him use this!!
Bombs
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Love it, give him more bombs forever
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ka-BOOM!!!!
His Brain
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This is actually his best weapon - sorry wiggly knife, you're being shunted down to number 2 on a last minute technicality! I think Jason is at his best when he's outsmarting people and making long term fucked up schemes to ruin people's lives.
He's so good at it! It's so fun to watch him do it!
Genuinely a shame that this facet of him was mostly lost after Flashpoint, though to give credit where it is due, in Rebirth Jason did ruin the Penguin's life in an impressively elaborate way, which I did really enjoy. I want to see him be a tactical deliberate menace to one person in specific again idk, that's part of why I do kinda agree that he works better as an antagonist than a protagonist - which it should be noted does not mean I think he works better as a villain necessarily, his ethics aren't what matter here - he's just had his best moments as the schemer, and it's hard to have a protagonist schemer even when you make them ethically the good guy.
I hope you enjoyed my nattering on about Jason's weapons :D thank ye again for ask!
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strgrlxox · 1 year
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⤷ ☆☆★ NICE FACE
ELLIE WILLIAMS / FEM!READER
SUMMARY            ❫⠀───     this req was the cutest thing ever 
WORD COUNT     ❫⠀───     771
  ▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄
ellie was easy to fluster. all you had to do was let your arm brush against hers or make prolonged eye contact with her and she rewarded you with her cute stutters and that pretty blush that settled on her freckled cheeks. you knew she liked you. hell, everyone knew she liked you. you just wished she knew you liked her.
you made it as obvious as you possibly could. always spending time with her when you could, going out of your way to touch her, being extra helpful by doing things you knew she didn’t want to. but she just didn’t seem to take the hint. no matter how persistently you tried to give it to her. 
you began to think that maybe you just misread her, maybe she only acts this way around you because you make her uncomfortable or something. but dina and jesse both told you that ellie was hopelessly in love with you, which made you unbelievably giddy. so you amped it up, complimenting ellie way more and doing even more for her. 
ellie had invited you over to her place, something she’s done many times before but everytime she asks so sheepishly and cute while avoiding looking at you. and everytime you agreed to come over, she would smile at you so wide and make eye contact with you…you could literally see how ecstatic she was.
you were comfortable on ellie’s couch. the two of you had already done an elaborate skincare routine at your instance (ellie complained but she loved it). now, you were watching a movie at ellie’s instance, some random horror film. you weren’t paying much attention to it…or any attention at all really. ellie just looked too good for you not to focus on her. and then she looked up at you. the way she always does when she catches you staring at her, curious but timid. “what're you lookin’ at?”
although the words themselves are a little standoffish, the way she says them makes you smile. the little laugh that leaves her lips and the way she scratched the back of her neck while avoiding your eye contact. god, and the little crease in between her brows that you wanted to kiss so badly. ellie really had no clue just how much of an effect she had on you.
“you.” you deadpan while squinting at her, the fact that you don’t look away makes goosebumps form on her arms. she rubs her skin to make them go away, still wondering how whenever you caught her staring at you she could get so flustered but here you were, shamelessly doing the exact same thing to her.
“i can see that.” she rolls her eyes playfully, clearing her throat. “but why?”
“cause you’re pretty.”
she throws her head back and groans, making you chuckle. when she sits back up straight you can see that she is flushed. you smile wider because you (not so) secretly longed for that cute blush that would spread across her freckled cheeks when you called her that.
“okay.” she sighs, meeting your eyes for a moment before shaking her head and looking away. 
“okay? that’s it?” you narrow your eyes at her, putting a hand on your chest and feigning offense. “i don’t get a compliment back?”
“no—i mean, you have a…” she pauses, blinking rapidly. “nice face.”
your smile spreads immensely as you try to hold in a laugh. “really?”
“you’re making fun of me.” she hides her face in her hands. you reach for them, pulling them away so that you can see her. the little pout she has on her mouth looks so cute. very dramatic, yes, but still adorable. you find yourself wanting to taste it, wondering if she’d blush all pretty again if you did. you lean in to see if she would pull away, your breathing slowing as her eyes flicker down to your mouth. 
your hands meet her cheeks and you pull her closer so that your lips meet. despite how shy she could be, you wouldn’t know it by the way she kisses you. ardent and feverish but still so tender. she moans softly when you bite her lip and it takes everything in you to pull away from her mouth. you rest your forehead on hers and you can feel it when her breath fans across your face. “thank you. you have a nice face too.” you laugh so softly that if she wasn’t so close to you she probably wouldn’t have heard. she smiles and then pulls you back into her so she can kiss breathless again.
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thatlittledandere · 2 months
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Trying to convince you to watch Binan Koukou Chikyuu Bouei-bu LOVE! (colloquially known as Boueibu) :
It starts with food metaphors in the bath.
An alien is weekend-at-bernies'ing a 77-year-old teacher. badly.
In one episode the villains mention their plan is to turn all men on Earth gay so humankind will go extinct. This is never brought up again.
The villains' boss is the cutest little green porcupine who would be voiced by Christopher Sabat in an English dub.
They accidentally go to a gay beach because Atsushi is 18 and never learned how to fucking read apparently.
A 17-year-old has a real estate broker license.
One guy's whole schtick is being a womanizer in a series with an all-male cast that refuses to show women even in crowd scenes.
^ he gets called out on this.
^^ and on having feelings for the aforementioned stock broker.
^^^ they are butt naked in this scene.
Twins with opposing BDSM kinks kinkshame each other for two seconds then go back to fondling the glass casket their shared crush they kidnapped is sleeping in.
I don't need to mention the monsters of the week are bizarre. Delinquent oden bowls are normal here moving on.
(yeah yeah the hairy heart with nipples for eyes we've all seen it)
(we wish we hadn't)
Hey what the hell the pick-me-up speeches the monsters are given after battle are like, honestly really uplifting.
I will literally paypal you 5 euros if you manage to predict the twist of the first season.
The curry is symbolic.
This is anti-propaganda but the BDSM twins have a cult following with arm bands and salutes just a fair heads-up.
Their school has a student who refuses to graduate until the volleyball team makes it to nationals. Like, refuses. It's worse than you think.
EDIT: I misremembered this and was corrected: not even nationals, a tournament. Just. Any tournament.
Either there's a weird continuity error between seasons 1 and 2 or the school has two separate volleyball teams. I choose to believe the second option, it's funnier and also entirely plausible in this clusterfuck that calls itself a school.
The adorable blond fluffhead casually comes out when they're making plans for the school's monthly pretty boy contest no I will not elaborate on that part stay focused.
^ He's into gang leaders.
The music slaps.
The boys are pretty.
The pinup photoshoot is had.
Watch it
I want to fuck the fennec fox from the spin-off with Happy Kiss replacing LOVE in its title.
And also the blond sadist.
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