#i wish they were real and able to adopt me

[toddsbluesweater]

have i ever seen house md? no. will i ever watch house md? prob not. did i just watch hilson related yt vids for hours on end? maybe. did i have the time of my life? oh yes sir.

why did i do it, you may want to ask? i do not have a clue.

[scekrex]

Hello💕💕💕💕 me again I just really love your story's and I would like to be known has '💕💕'<3 another request 💕hurt/fluff 💕

💕Adopted child male reader x parent Adam, were reader died from his father and went to heaven but doesn't have a place to stay of course his like 2 and Sera does not know to do with him so she just give him to Adam and told him to just keep him for a while to find someone willing to take care of y/n.💕

💕While Adam first saw y/n he just take cared for the kid and kept on saying how the kid was soo annoying, after a few months he started to actually started to get attached with y/n but then Sera asked Adam for the y/n back because she found a orphanage that will like to take care of y/n and maybe find a real family but Adam quickly refused saying that he would like to keep y/n so Sera was alright.💕

💕So after a few 10 years y/n and Adam became inseparable! Going to their favorite bands and y/n knowing how to play the electric guitar and even the drums. This year y/n wants to go and see his dad killing those sinners but Adam isn't too sure on letting his son but he let him because he kept on begging him to come so he allowed it just this once and to try stay close to Lute ( Lute is kinda like a babysitter for Y/n ).💕

💕Y/n was rooting for his father while he was fighting with Lucifer ( more like Lucifer fighting with Adam) until when Adam fell on the floor while Lucifer was punching Adam, then Charlie said that Adam had enough before y/n could run to his father and tell him if they could go home now the little red demon girl stabbed his father, y/n quickly ran towards his father grabbing the girl out of his father, crying fat tears and keep on saying "please don't go, dad" ( or whatever you want)💕

You can write the ending I am too lazy 🙃

💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕

Okay so I've never written child reader before so I hope it matches your expectations! xoxo/p

Born to Lose

pairing: dad!Adam & child!male!reader (platonic)

warnings: language, canon typical violence, major character death

note: not beta read bc fuck you I don't have beta readers

The woman in the pretty white dress with the beautiful looking wings handed you over to that man with golden wings and long horns attached to his head, he looked a little grumpy.

“Why me though?” the first man asked, clearly displeased with the situation that had been forced onto him. What was he supposed to do with a two year old? Sure, he did have children back in the garden but… that was ages ago. He also had Eve back then, to help him raise them. How he was alone with nothing but you in his arms.

Sera was serious about this. A situation like that rarely happened and usually there had always been angels willing to take the child in, but not this time. Not when you had arrived in heaven. Your hands clumsily reached up to one of Adam's horns, you wrapped your small palm around it and giggled happily. Adam sighed. “I wish there would be a better, more permanent solution, it would be the best for the both of you, but sadly there isn't. It's either you taking him in or him ending up homeless.” Sera's words hung in the air for a moment before Adam sighed again, “Okay yeah, I'm taking him in. But fucking hurry up to find a family for that little shithead.” “Language,” Sera warned the first man who simply rolled his eyes at her before he flipped her off and left the building.

So he had to take care of a motherfucking two year old now. Fucking great, thanks for absolutely fucking nothing, god.

-

You were loud, most children your age were. Well, in Adam's defense, he didn't sign up to adopt a two year old. So he was allowed to complain about you. You needed constant attention, always silently begging to be lifted up into his arms by making grabby hands at him and considering that it was the only way Adam was able to get you to shut the fuck up, he carried you around more than he liked to.

You were a clingy, loud, annoying, stinky little brat and yet you made him soften up. Because carrying you around often resulted in the two of you playing. Adam would lift you up in the air, careful not to drop you of course, while you pretend to be flying - which one day you would be. He also complained about your nightly wake up sessions, how annoying and exhausting it was for him to get up at least five times a night to feed you, change your diapers, or simply give you whatever else it was you were craving.

Yet he loved you dearly and wouldn't give you up for anything.

He had already completely forgotten about what Sera had promised him. That she would find a permanent solution for your problem. To him, this was the permanent solution and he was more than fine with it. So when Sera had ordered him into her office and he had stepped inside with you sleeping in his arms, he was quite surprised to see other angels there too. “Who the fuck is that?” Adam asked as he steadied your little head that was resting on his shoulder. “Those are the people willing to take Y/N in, Adam,” the seraphim explained calmly to the first man, who turned his body away from the strangers in order to protect you. His wings were spread, working as a shield. “No fucking way, he's not leaving me now. I took care of this little fucker for the past six months, he's not going to live with somebody else now.” He pressed your little body a bit closer, yet he remained careful, the brunette had no intention in waking you up. And you remained asleep.

Sera folded her hands as she turned towards the angels that were there to pick you up, “As you can see, I'm very sorry to announce that Y/N will stay with Adam. He seems quite attached to the child and the young boy is visibly feeling comfortable around him. Therefore we don't need your service any longer.” And as soon as Sera had finished her little apology, Adam left the building. There was no need to stick around longer and possibly wake you up.

-

The years passed and before Adam knew it your twelfth birthday was in the past. Ten years had it been since the first man had been given the task to watch you, raise you. And he did. Once you had learned how to walk and fly, there was nothing that could possibly stop you in any form or way. Talking was also a skill you learned quite quickly, eager to repeat whatever Adam said. At first the first man had thought of it as annoying but he had quickly started to like that little habit of yours. It disappeared as you grew older though.

With six Adam had started to teach you how to play the electric guitar, music had always been a big thing in his parenting methods. He was a guitarist and singer, in God's holy name, of course he would raise you with music. So it had only been a matter of time until he took you to your first ever concert.

The drummer of Adam's band had insisted on teaching you how to play them after you had curiously asked him how he managed to stay so focused on it while also looking ‘badass’.

So. You were twelve, that was fucking old if someone were to ask you. Old enough to join Adam on extermination day. That had been a thing ever since he had adopted you, probably even before. But your father had always told you that you were too young. This year however, you weren't going to back down so easily.

“C’mon dad, you've taught me how to fight, I can defend myself okay? I'm not some whiney, helpless bitch like the other angels up here,” you begged your father.

Ah yes, the language. Your vocabulary was definitely heavily inspired by Adam. A thing Sera disliked, but had stopped commenting on. She still hoped you'd grow into it and learn how to articulate yourself properly.

Adam pinched the bridge of his nose in annoyance as he furrowed his brows, “Jesus, okay, okay, fuck, yeah fine.” He had given in. He had officially allowed you to fight by his side during the extermination. “But you're not leaving my side and if you do, only in company with Lute.” That was something you could agree on. Lute was the most badass bitch you've ever met after all.

-

So extermination day rolled around quicker than Adam had liked it too, if he were to make the decisions, he'd skip it simply because that would mean you'd be safe, instead of being surrounded by demon fuck-ups. But he had already agreed, there was no taking it back now.

-

Adam was slammed into the ground, neither you nor Lute were in sight as it happened. Lucifer only showed mercy once his daughter reminded him. Adam crawled out of the crater, blood dripping from his face, his body was in pure pain.

You saw him, you also saw the little demon girl that was sneaking up behind him. But things went down way too quick. The little girl pulled out a dagger and stabbed Adam with it. Your father fell face first onto the ground. Pain shot through your body, not physically but emotionally. “Dad,” you screamed as you flew over to his body, the little girl sat proudly on his back. You grabbed her by her throat, your hand was wrapped around it tightly, strategically cutting off her air supply as you ripped the dagger from her tiny hands and lifted it, the tip pointing to her eye. And then you stabbed her.

As you pulled the dagger out, her eye popped out of its socket and blood covered your hands. You stabbed her again, this time in her chest. And again. And again.

The body in your hands went limp and you threw her away carelessly. “Dad, stay with me,” you dropped to your knees next to his head, pulling him onto your lab, “C’mon dad I wanna go home.” Tears started to well up in your eyes as Adam opened his eyes to look at you. His usually bright eyes seemed so lifeless, so dead. Tears streamed down your reddened cheeks and hit his face. “Don’t go dad, don't fucking leave me,” the brunette simply shot you a weak smile of thankfulness. Thankfulness that he didn't have to die alone, that you were there.

it was Lute who came up behind you to rest her hand on your shoulder. “Y/N,” she spoke so softly yet her voice sounded hurt, “He’s gone,” she stated as Adam's eyes fell shut. “No,“ you screamed as you pulled away from her touch and pressed your father's dead body against your chest, “He’s not- he's Adam, he can't-”

In the background Charlie, surprised, asked, “Adam had a son?” Lucifer nodded, “Well, he isn't one of the kids I know, he must either be heaven born or adopted, but Adam sure is a father.” Something tore in Charlie at the sight.

“Dad- Adam,” you hiccuped as Lute grabbed Adam's halo. “Y/N, we have to go,” but you shook your head violently, “I’m not leaving without my fucking father, don't even try it.” The lieutenant sighed heavily before agreeing to take him with you, to take him back to heaven.

You got up from the ground, straightened your back and spread your wings proudly as you and Lute picked up Adam and carried him to the portal the leader of the exorcists had opened only a couple of hours ago.

[thevirgodoll]

when you decide to love yourself more, you pick up the pieces you thought they left and just move tf on with your life. you take those pieces and do some heart surgery. this may be the first person, the tenth person, or the fiftieth that has hurt you and shattered you. but it's far more worth it to reconstruct your heart to be whole again than to let someone who didn't even have half of a heart when they met you steal yours and walk around with it as their own.

it's dramatic, but you have to decide that your life is literally on the line. people lose their minds trying to figure out why someone lied to them and why they're gone. heartbreak (from an ex, a friend, a family member, etc) can literally kill you. the light in your eyes is now a poor excuse for a fire that can barely spark. your appetite doesn't even exist and left a pit in your stomach. your soul is tied to all of the limiting beliefs they brought with them and now, in your unwillingness to see them for who they are, YOU have adopted their same cadence, mindset, and loathing.

i think subconsciously we sit in pity just to feel closer to the person that we couldn't quite "fix" or the person we always say "if they could've just...if i could've gotten them to see XYZ about themselves" or "what if". IF THIS OR THAT.

you can recognize you're in the trenches with them because you really loved them, but you cannot STAY there. this isn't you. in your reality, you are LOVED. you are WHOLE. you are WORTHY.

i don't even think it's the fact other people don't see it. i think they do, and because they see it that means they'll have to live with just as much integrity as you do. they'll have to step outside of their comfort zone and finally measure up to this new person they have around them. and they can't...so they sabotage. but that's the thing. THEY made that decision. so stop suffering on their behalf and let them lay in the bed they made.

and i know you're like, easier said than done??? trust me. one day, you wake up and it doesn't hurt at all. one day, you stop waiting for them to come back. it's like a switch. what am i waiting on someone else for? why would i want someone to decide that they love me? pfft.. literally with those questions, i regain my common sense and detach. it's over, it's done. it's like they never existed.

give them a mental funeral with their flowers for what they DID do that you were able to appreciate - if anything - and look back on the entire thing as an experience you needed to push you in a different direction. stop wishing things were different and start creating a better story. literally, just tell yourself this isn't real and that they passed away.

genuinely believe that sometimes we need somebody to fumble as a wake-up call. take that time out, recoup, and write a new story where none of this shit ever happened. and never let anyone have the option to shift YOUR world like that ever again. i mean it.

[shuttershocky]

Fgo spoiling theyber is already annoying enough for people but if iori is indeed in the collab his np will spoil one of THE best moments in the entire game. Idk if this is aniplex of lasangles decision but jeez

It's hilarious that it took Water Saber only 3 months to come to FGO when Charlemagne took 3 years (and Archimedes never).

Nobody played Extella Link so to the backburner poor Charlie went, but Samurai Remnant was quite a success so that Saber's gonna get pushed forward into the limelight.

A part of me hopes that Iori doesn't become a servant, because the spice to his character is that Miyamoto Iori died a nobody; his sole claim to fame was being the son of the world's most legendary duelist. All wikipedia has to say about him is that he ended up working for the Ogasawara family (Kaya's adoptive family in game) before passing quietly into history.

The game's called Samurai Remnant because the whole point is that Iori's out of his time, and The Waxing Moon acts as a mirror to the legend to what could have been. Would Iori have been born into the age of war that his father lived in, he would have become an unrivaled sword saint able to kill Miyamoto Musashi in their prime, a human capable of dueling servants to the death (just like Musashi did in Shimousa when she was still alive as a human)

But the only people to have witnessed him reach that peak, to have glimpsed the legend that never was, were Saber and Musashi herself. They're both ghosts. They would be unable to pass on tales of Iori's mastery, unable to make him be remembered in human history beyond just being Musashi's son.

But that's alright. He didn't need to become a legend to fulfill his father's wish, nor even his own. All that mattered was that someone, no matter how temporary, got to witness him, and they were his father and his only real friend.

And you know, becoming a servant would throw all that away for the sake of including him in FGO. It would be kinda sad imo.

That being said I'm a huge hypocrite because I would also cheer at the idea of a Kara No Kyoukai action game even if having Ryougi go John Wick on 200 people would fly in the face of everything Kara No Kyoukai's themes were about lol.

[probablyhuntersmom]

As Hunter puts the work in to recover and heal, looking back on Belos's 'kindness' in offering him a staff, taking him in, and providing the opportunity to be special as the Golden Guard...will be confusing and will involve seemingly conflicting emotions.

Having that treatment from his 'uncle' was the only reference point of feeling loved, while experiencing terror deeper down. This lasted for years before he met Luz and co.

He has overall spent less time in the new framework of healthy found family, than the years in the Castle.

I was looking at scenes from a couple of movies - the Black Widow movie and also Blade Runner 2049 (spoilers for both movies ahead, obviously) - as psychology references to see how two other fictional characters recalled their confusing but significant memories.

These examples carry some big concepts, one of which is that we "recall with our feelings". Not with pure impersonal logic that neatly trims away false info and discards it. If only it were that easy to dust our hands clean this way when healing from trauma.

In Black Widow, Yelena is the character who wears her heart on her sleeve the most, like Hunter naturally does. When confronted with the revelation that her happy childhood was staged, naturally Yelena feels betrayed:

(the GIF file for above was too big so lol I just screencapped a still frame from it)

But she quickly makes a conscious decision on how she wants to view those good memories, when hearing her sister Natasha saying it was all fake. This is perhaps her most important line in the movie:

She still chose to believe it had all been real. She is actively claiming the meaning that her good childhood had provided for her. Choosing what kind of lens she'd like to view those memories through. Defending that good meaning. Because her life fell apart after that good childhood came to an end. She could choose to say it was all fake, if she wanted to see it as fake.

She confronts Melina, her (staged) maternal figure who obviously isn't her biological or even a proper adoptive mother, and says: "You are my mother. You were my real mother, the closest thing I ever had to one."

When it comes to Hunter, he wouldn't find it as straightforward to acknowledge that the times when Belos was nice to him "felt real". Would he ever want to view the late Emperor as his uncle? Not via any conscious decision, I'm sure...since he's the opposite of Yelena here. Hunter's safe haven was after he escaped the Emperor's Coven, but Yelena's haven was at the start of her life, which she wished had been permanent.

Those months of summer when Hunter spent time away from Belos in the human realm must've been so special for him. But when faced with inevitable confusing flashbacks especially after Belos's death (that involve the subconscious, not conscious, part of his mind), he's still going to feel that the Emperor was a close family member whom he had an attachment with. Belos was the closest thing he ever had to family for so long.

In the Black Widow example, Yelena felt that Melina was her mother, from an early age. Around two decades later in her young adulthood, she still feels that this is the case, and consciously still wishes for that. She was lucky to be able to reconcile with Melina in the movie.

Hunter isn't as lucky. While he recovers, I don't think he can simply dismiss what it felt like to be told that he is part of a family (even if it was a lie) in such fragile formative years:

As an example, if I had first been told at age 5 by a parent that they promised to protect me, only to find out a decade later that they actually wouldn't have ever cared if I died...I would be hella confused.

Quoting a guest lecturer from my first year of therapist training, the part of our brains responsible for reasoning and logic - the prefrontal cortex - does not begin to seriously mature until our late teen years. Which is why early childhood memories can't just be viewed by our adult selves and easily trimmed away and viewed in black-or-white as truth-or-lie. Those early years are sensitive for us all, in how they shape us later in life. That inner child is still in each of us.

Blade Runner 2049's protagonist, K, has an arc that takes a different direction: he had actual false memories implanted that were not even his own, but the theme that is consistent for this post is those memories still felt real to him, and thus affected him emotionally. He felt unfulfilled and wanted something new, to feel like he had a soul, which led him on this risky quest. Sadly, he easily believed in a lie because it matched the truth he wished for. Thus, even false memories could feel real to him because he was desperate for meaning in life.

This movie has a cyberpunk dystopian setting, so it's of course more bleak. K was made to believe so strongly in those memories because he was ultimately used as just smokescreen, to keep the real person (who had those memories) well-hidden. Below, he speaks to the memory maker who formed his false memories. She is a very skilled deceiver, and successfully engineers experiences that didn't actually happen because she inserts fragments of truth here and there.

And she makes some good points about how she succeeds at implanting false memories:

Especially the last two lines, "We recall with our feelings. Anything real should be a mess."

Linking back to Hunter, it would be a tough process to learn how to make peace with his childhood with Belos. Because anything that felt real would be a mess.

And K has a similar line as Yelena did:

The running theme I spotted is the realness of confusing memories for these characters, because their inner conflicts involve questioning themselves: whether or not they were just imagining the good feelings they felt.

While we never got confirmation whether Belos used false memories or not, I'm inclined to think he didn't...in order to work more subtly and over a long period of time on Hunter as his latest grimwalker project. The deadlier lies are the ones with many bits of truth scattered throughout their intricate webs, like what the memory maker in Blade Runner 2049 could pull off.

Belos's treatment would've felt kind to Hunter at the time. As they say, how we feel about any experience we have is "what we make of it". Or how we choose to view the experience.

I think Hunter needed to believe his uncle really was kind, while maintaining his own image, in order to keep going and survive.

This tragically meant he had to believe he wasn't doing enough.

It is always scarier for an abused child to see that their parent in fact isn't loving after all/isn't a good person, compared to imposing shame upon themselves and believing they aren't good enough.

Of course, all this would've changed by the time we get to here and beyond:

Memory is subjective and our minds are so powerful that they find evidence to seemingly confirm any kind of beliefs that we form.

All three characters in this post were cogs in a machine, reduced to being pawns in a scheme...until they later had the space to decide things for themselves.

As seen in Hunter's efforts in his Golden Guard days to be good enough in the role, Yelena taking a stand to preserve the purity of an untainted childhood (even if it was staged and not organic), K defying authority to cross a line in his duties and get answers about who he was....this is how much we as humans will clamber to grasp onto a sense of personhood, to give our lives meaning and survive the best we can.

Yelena wanted to preserve the memories of her childhood as good, as a haven or a warm fuzzy bubble to look back on, because it got torn apart before she reunited with her family many years later.

Obviously Hunter can't do exactly the same i.e. preserving the entirety of his time in the Castle as "good", since he has now been able to see that Belos was a constant threat upon his life. However, he could still look back on smaller pockets of his childhood as pleasant, by isolating those specific memories.

We have two examples in canon: the way he grins when remembering the experience of being left on top of the mountain and climbing back down. And him saying that "weekends were nice" since he tasted partial freedom by being outdoors going on missions.

In fact, he would likely start out wanting to erase his childhood, view it as entirely bad and terrible to revisit, and try to force himself to forget its significance and start afresh. But this would only worsen the unpleasant emotions associated with this time of his life that he'd rather wish had not existed.

Mental health recovery is counter-intuitive: avoiding or denying emotions tend to make them grow bigger and scarier, while letting them feel seen and heard can help them along to shrink and positively transform over time. Hunter's therapist would have to provide him with psychoeducation on this so that he doesn't feel like he's grieving wrongly. It would bring him more peace if he can acknowledge both of these seemingly conflicting truths:

Factually, Belos did lie to him and betray him.

(Here's the important part) Emotionally, if the 'kindness/love' offered by Belos felt real at the time, received by Hunter's very legit need for attachment and meaning, then yes, it was real.

Both these points can coexist. Belos's love was untrue in the factual sense (we in the audience can easily see this), yet true in the emotional sense for a young child like who Hunter was. Which is what makes it hard.

Someone would ask Hunter, "Do you think he loved you?" and the answer isn't simple. Maybe it'd be something like "He didn't, but I felt like he really did." And the second half of that sentence ("but I felt like he really did") honestly doesn't need to be changed or removed, and the grief in those words should be honoured. Belos only cared about meeting Hunter's emotional needs as a means to an end, and as strange as it sounds to say this...it did help Hunter survive long enough, however mistreated he was. Because he still clung on to meaning and a purpose in his life.

The love wasn't there in the technical sense: instead it was a twisted version of Philip's love for Caleb, not any love extended towards Hunter. But this love still felt mostly real to Hunter before he fled the coven.

And I bet that even if it was for a split-second, Belos's gaslighting of "Why are you hurting me? I only wanted to help you" felt real and true to the poor kid here:

before Hunter expressed that he knew who Belos truly was as a person: a liar.

[xiaosonlybeloved]

Forever Together~ Kaeya

featuring:- Kaeya tags:-fluff, a teeny bit of angst if you squint, semi-modern au(?), soulmate au where you get a golden band on your 18th birthday which changes into a silver bracelet like thingy when you properly meet your soulmate, kaeya calls you princess once a/n:- this is my entry for the summer santa event by @solarisfortuneia , thanks for letting me take part and sorry for being so late! this one is dedicated to @satoruxx i hope both you and mika like this :)

word count:- 1.3k

masterlist

You grow more excited as the clock nears midnight. “Only five more minutes, Kaeya!” You exclaim, tugging his hand and pointing at the clock. Your childhood best friend shakes his head, amused at your unusual excitement. “You’re really that excited just for your soulmate band? How funny. I mean, you’ve always been a soft romantic, so I’m not really surprised.” He chuckled, the sound filling your room. Both of you glance towards the golden band already present on Kaeya’s wrist, showing that he hadn’t met his soulmate yet. It had appeared, as it always does for everyone, on his 18th birthday. 

None of you said it, none of you knew the other was thinking the same thing. But both of you wondered, if… If you two could possibly be each other’s soulmates.

Both of you had harboured feelings for each other since you were children. It was cute at first. But then as time passed, as you two started to notice each other more, grow up side by side, saw all sides of each other, that harmless puppy love started growing into ‘small’ crushes, even as you two were content to remain best friends. Best friends who were practically attached at the hip, frequently did sleepovers and study sessions, hung out a lot, and always took advantage of the couples discount system. Deep down, both of you wondered if you could ever be more.

The chance of Kaeya being your soulmate was a one in a thousand. So, what harm did it do to imagine the what-ifs of a nearly impossible situation, you both thought, allowing your minds to wander.

The thought of being Kaeya’s soulmate excited you. But it scared Kaeya. 

It wouldn’t be easy to love you officially. It’s not because he couldn’t or didn’t want to. He had no idea what the future would bring, but for now, he really did love you, the way you did. But he was terrified what a relationship would bring, not just to you, but to any possible partner of his, which is why he wanted to avoid meeting his soulmate. He wasn’t sure if he’d be able to maintain a relationship with his ways. And he was scared of his past.

Kaeya and his dad had fled from their home nation, Khaenriah, when it was on the brink of utter ruin because of the wars that had ravaged the world. Fled to Mondstadt, a stable country with abundant beauty, one that had already risen up after the war. There, his father had disappeared, leaving him with a caring adoptive family. 

It had been hard for him to adjust and adapt to this new life, especially since he had just been a mere child when all this happened. And he wouldn’t have been able to, if not for you.

You were his neighbour- still are, in fact. He remembered when he’d timidly ventured out into the gardens of his new house a few days after his life had been uprooted. You had noticed him wandering alone very quickly from your own garden, tugging at your mom’s hand to point at him. He’d been scared then, but then you ran ever to him, eyes sparkling, asking him if he was new here, and if he wanted to play with them, adding that their family were very good friends with his new family.

That was the beginning of their friendship, the one that had led them here, staring at the clock at night, waiting for it to strike twelve. And Kaeya was scared, scared because he’d heard many rumours of whatever remained of the Khaenri’ans searching. Searching for what, he didn’t know. Maybe it wasn’t even real. 

But he was still afraid of the possibilities.

And yet, a part of him wished to love you freely, without fear, be with you, be your soulmate. 

The internal conflict was tearing him apart.

The clock struck twelve, signifying the start of your birthday.

You grinned excitedly, holding up your hand, on which a golden band had materialised. But then both your eyes widened, as it turned silver, before reshaping into a swirling silver pattern, almost like a bracelet, with a half heart in the middle. 

The same happened to Kaeya’s band, the formerly gold band having changed into a silver bracelet, same as yours, with the other half of the heart.

It was confirmed- you two were soulmates.

You two stared at each other, eyes wide and confused. It was silent in the room for a while, as you two let the fact sink in.

I suppose it was to be expected, after all, you two had stuck with each other from the moment you met.

A part of you was incredibly happy, now that you didn’t have to hide your feelings any more. However, another part of you was worried for Kaeya and how he’d take this. I mean, what sort of best friends- soulmates- would you two be, if you didn’t know each others’ deepest fears? You knew what he was afraid of. And you didn’t blame him for it in any way whatsoever.

You were the first to speak up, gently taking both his hands in yours. Something you had done a thousand times before, and yet, it felt different this time. “You alright, Kaeya?”

He slowly nodded, eyes staring off. You understood his internal turmoil and the fact that he’d need time, and didn’t press him. “Do you need space?” you asked softly. “To process this? I don’t mind if you do.” Finally he looked at you. There were a multitude of emotions swirling in those beautiful periwinkle eyes of his- confusion, surprise, shock, fear, and more, as they met yours. “You won’t be upset?” He asked quietly. You shook your head almost immediately. “No, Kae, I won’t. I understand why.” You said reassuringly, squeezing his hands with yours to reaffirm your statement. 

“I’ll see you later then..?Once I’ve sorted everything out?” “Sure, take as much time as you want, don’t rush, I’m always here for you, ‘kay? Now let me drop you off home.” You smiled at him.

The next evening, Kaeya texts you to meet him in your regular meeting spot- the swings in the park next to your houses. On text, he sounded like he’d made up his mind, causing you to be a bit nervous as you headed over, albeit a bit early.

You were just swinging gently, lost in your thoughts, when Kaeya walks up to you. He seems to be holding something behind his back, as you look at him curiously. “You alright now?” You question. “Yup.” he grinned back, that easygoing, charming smile that was reserved specifically for you back on his pretty face. “Got everything figured out now, and I have something for you too.” He smiles, bringing out the gift-wrapped package he had been holding behind his back. You chuckle, relieved, as you quickly open it. You stop short when you see what it is that he has given you.

“Forgot to say this, but happy birthday, [Y/N].” He said softly, bending down a bit to take the beautiful silver necklace that had your engraved to put it around your neck. “There.” he said, leaning back to admire you. “Now it matched with our bracelets.” He added, his words meaningful.

This was his way of giving you confirmation. “Let’s give this thing a try, huh? After all, if anything ever happens, I’ll be here to protect my beloved princess, won’t I?” He smirked at his successful attempt to make you flustered as he pulled you up from the swing, holding one of your hands gently in his.

[imreadydollparts]

Phoebe and the BunchEms

Have you heard of BunchEms? These little plastic balls covered in hooks like Velcro that you stick together to make shapes and stuff?

The first I heard of them was when I came across posts about getting BunchEms out of little kids' hair...

That is horrifying.

Now, I am someone that is Good at detangling and retexturing synthetic doll hair. I saw an American Girl Julie on shopgoodwill.com with BunchEms in her hair and got curious.

Are they really THAT hard to get out of hair, or were the people doing it just not that great at detangling?

I'll spare you the suspense and say that yes, they really are that horrible. I think it would be more humane to just cut the child's hair and let it grow out again rather than make them sit through an attempt at removing The Devil's Dingleberries.

I didn't win the auction for Julie but was talking to my doll friends and said that if I ever happened to find BunchEms and a doll I didn't care about at Goodwill at the same time, I'd grab them so I could experience this hell for myself.

Enter Phoebe.

This is a Battat Our Generation (Target's version of American Girl) Phoebe. You can't really see her before-hair well, but it wasn't in too bad of condition. It was matted in a couple spots, very dirty, and had grass stuck in it.

I do wish I'd cleaned and detangled her before I did this. The dirtiness had everyone in the house sneezing.

But wow was that exciting. I enjoyed being the destroyer instead of the fixer for once. That was fun.

Removing them again was not. That was the opposite of fun.

It took me about a month because I had to stop for a medical emergency and was only able to work on her again last week. Since I'm going through a series of surgeries I've had a lot of non-productive time. I just finished her hair up today.

The BunchEms were very difficult to remove. It took a lot of careful, slow, agonizing combing and brushing, picking and pulling, some ripping and tearing, to get the hair free from each little ball's many, multidirectional teeth.

What's worse is that as I would work on the balls nearer the ends of her hair, the ones closer to her face got tighter and tighter into her hairline.

They were pushing against her skin at this point.

I'd get some hair free, put it to the side, and discover it had reattached to different BunchEms on that side.

It was tedious. If Phoebe were a real girl, she'd be in agony from all of the pulling and combing and how tightly the BunchEms were pulling up into her hair.

I did eventually get them all out again. She lost a ton of hair. Battat OG dolls are rooted with the locked loop method, which means that if ONE loop pulls free, then they can all pull free in sequence. A lot of her hair loss was full plugs coming out of her scalp, and a lot of it was breakage. The hair that was left was a mess.

It wasn't tangled at all and was rather soft, though. I guess if you were desperate, a BunchEming could help emulate the texture of 4c hair? There has to be a better way to give a doll 4c hair than this self-torture, though.

A good bath, shampooing, three conditionings, and straightenings later and...

I had to cut out a few inches (I am bad at cutting shh), and her hair still has a lot more texture than it's supposed to.

I do not ever want to do that again.

She's going back to Goodwill to see if someone else wants to adopt her, and the BunchEms are going in the trash because they're full of doll hair and that's kind of gross.

[locallysourcedshuggy]

6.

On the day she turned six, Beatrice finally understood why most adults never really celebrated their birthdays.

She knew her parents were trying to accomplish titles in the government. To be honest, she didn't know what those words truly meant at 6, but she had the general idea.

That morning, her parents told her they were leaving for a business trip. Almira, their maid, would look after her for that week. Normally, Beatrice wouldn't bat an eye to the news. Today, however, was different.

Her parents never wished her a happy birthday.

Once they had closed the door behind them, and their driver disappeared down the road towards the airport, Almira let out a sigh. Beatrice couldn't tell what kind of sigh it was. She was able to categorize her parents' sighs now, yet this one was different.

She turned away from the window, noticing Almira was wearing a heavy expression.

“I told them it was your birthday when they woke up,” She admitted.

Almira wanted to say more. So, So much more. It was heartbreaking, to see a child so young lose their magical imagination on their birthday.

Beatrice didn't say anything, and Almira figured so. Beatrice was always a quiet child, and Almira was reminded how different she was from her own children. They were probably up by now, bothering their boulder of a father for some more pancakes.

Cake, right.

“Come, Beatrice,” She beckoned the child, starting her way to the kitchen. “Now that your parents are gone, they can't chastise you for eating cake for breakfast.”

Beatrice, ever the obedient daughter she was, gasped at the concept.

Almira let out a laugh that stemmed from her belly.

“Oh, please, little one. It's your 6th birthday. Surely we have time for cake,” She grabbed it from the fridge, watching as Beatrice looked at the intricate design.

Almira felt something akin to amazement when Beatrice gazed with so much wonder and surprise. She noticed that the girl still hadn't moved from her place on the chair.

“I spent hours last night making this for you, it would be agonizing if you did not take the first bite,” Almira reasoned, grabbing a fork from the utensil drawer.

Beatrice finally understood. Almira had time to bake Beatrice a cake, though she didn't have to. Her parents had known it was her birthday, and were even reminded, yet time was of the essence for them to get to the airport.

People didn't celebrate their birthdays due to the fact that they had no time. Staring at the fork in Almira's hand, she decided to relent. She would make time for her own birthday today, but only for a little while.

12.

It was her 12th birthday. By now, Beatrice was dreadfully aware of the fact that birthdays were no longer fun. It was no one's fault, really (unless you count her parent forgetting at age 6, then making her birthday a PR stunt for their own benefit). She had been going to these galas since her 8th birthday, and she always dreaded it.

Of course, Beatrice would stuff her own anxiety down. She had the conversation once before with her parents. How their family needed to be presentable. This was the first year since they gained their diplomacy, and Beatrice was not going to be the reason they looked unprofessional.

The sad fact was- this birthday gala couldn't even be considered for Beatrice. No one her age came anyway, and so she was left to sit at the table while the adults talked politics.

"Oh well, we can just ban them from adopting," Her father spoke to one of his superiors.

Though this was considered a work gala, the two men appeared to be friendly while talking.

His superior (John or James, Beatrice could never remember), nodded along. "Our opponents are saying that some of those lesbians are able to concieve their own child through so called science. I think it's a load of bullshit if you ask me," Beatrice flinched at lesbians. John-James said it like it was poison in his tongue that he needed to spit out.

"A child concieved through science is not a real human child if you ask me," Her father snorted, and his boss laughed along.

Beatrice tuned out their conversation, directing her gaze to the hallway. She could portentially sneak out and go to her room. Her parents were so engrossed with whatever hatred they were spitting, they wouldn't notice her.

That's exactly what she did. Beatrice was able to slip through the crowd, and enter the long hallway that would lead to her room.

A woman came out of the guest bathroom, nearly running into the birthday girl.

"Oh, I'm terribly sorry!" She exclaimed, leaning down to Beatrice's eye level. "I didn't know they let children in here as well. I could've brought my wife's little sister," She thought.

Beatrice halted her movements. Wife? She decided she would come back to that later.

"Oh, I live here." Beatrice deadpanned, and the stranger widened her gaze.

"Oh. You must be Bernard and Lucille's daughter."

Beatrice nodded.

"What are doing out here then, shouldn't you be with them, weaseling your way into fascist politics?” The woman asked, a hint of malice dripping into her tone at the last words.

Beatrice didn't know what fascism meant. In the commercials, her parents often called themselves 'the right choice'. The girl cradled that word close to her, almost like the woman was trusting her with it.

“I got bored,” Beatrice answered truthfully, looking towards her room once again.

The woman noticed her movement. “Honestly, I can't blame you. I'm not even a friend of your father's,” She shrugged. “Just a receptionist who works for his rivals.”

She started to walk back into the crowd, but turned on her heel. “Happy birthday, Beatrice, was it?”

Beatrice simply nodded. The woman disappeared into the throng of older candidates and... fascists. To Beatrice, the woman reminded her of Almira. She still didn't know why her parents fired the woman, she was so nice.

18

On her 18th birthday, Beatrice forgot about it. She forgot about her birthday, until she returned to her dorm to find it decorated by her roommate. A banner hung from the ceiling, spelling out 'Happy Birthday!' in rainbow colors.

“I apologize for the lack of decoration, you would think it would be easy to find a Swiss Dollar-Tree, but apparently not,” Tracy smiled brightly.

Beatrice was still standing in the doorway.

“Oh, I must've forgotten,” Beatrice said after a few minutes, walking in fully and setting her textbooks on her desk.

Tracy dropped her jaw, her eyes widening in shock. “Oh please tell me you did not forget your own birthday?!”

Beatrice shrugged in response, then decided to defend herself, for whatever reason, “Well, I do leave Friday for the convent, so,”

“Yeah, but your birthday is your birthday! We need to celebrate! You, me, Ginny, even Sandy!”

As Tracy went on and on, Beatrice thought back to her meeting with Mother Superion from the convent in Madrid. She had never met a woman so... bouldering.. before. It's like the older woman could see past Beatrice's wall that she spent 17- no, 18- years building up. This time, though, it wasn't haunting. It was comforting.

“-and then Emma could try to sneak the speaker from Sister Chartine, but we all know that old crow has the nose of a bloodhound-” Beatrice tuned into part of Tracy's explanation, and felt a long exhale of dread escape her.

Friday could not come sooner.

20

She wasn't a rookie anymore. It was her first OCS mission where she could actually participate, and not watch from the sidelines with a med kit on her lap.

“Bea, duck!” Shannon called, already releasing the knife she was throwing.

Beatrice ducked without hesitation. The knife pierced the enemy behind her, his throat now similar to a paint can with a puncture hole. The blood leaked from his jugular like water, and Beatrice couldn't look away. It was hypnotic, watching the life disappear so fast in a person's eyes.

“Beatrice!” Someone yells at her, but she can't tear her eyes away from the body. Sound is muffled now, and it takes her a second too late to register the voice. From the roughness around the of her name, and the thickness in the tone, it sounds like Mary.

Beatrice turns too late, her abdomen now a holder for a dagger. The thrower in question has just now crumpled at her feet. She stares at his head- or, where his head is supposed to be. Beatrice isn't sure now, the brain matter has messed up her perception of human anatomy. Is it supposed to be splattered on the ground like that?

“Beatrice!” Another yell, this one sounding far to similar to her father. She looks up, and his eyes are glinting at her from across the room.

He stands in the open doorway, speechless as the girl under her turns her head.

The man swallows, calls his wife to the room. Beatrice doesn't move. Only when her lab partner wiggles out from her spot below does her mother lock eyes with her daughter.

Beatrice's mouth is dry. Her stomach hurts. She wants to say something. She's going to, but her mother stops her.

Her mother starts praying. Beatrice's vision blurs, and her mother morphs into Camila.

Camila, who is gripping one hand and applying pressure to her stomach with the other.

It was Camila who was praying, not her mother.

Camila notices the wounded soldier shift, and she whips her head down to look at her.

“Beatrice! We lost you for a second. I was so worried,” Almost as if she senses Beatrice's confusion, Camila continues, “We're in the van. Shannon's driving, don't worry, Mary started going insane with her wretched gun.”

Beatrice winces. Oh, that's why her stomach hurts. Not because her parents walked in on her with a girl, but because there is a hole six inches deep where the blade had pierced her.

Camila continues to go on and on about Mary and her godforsaken gun, but Beatrice doesn't care. Camila doesn't understand, she wasn't on the mission. She's the newbie, like Beatrice once was- forced to sit in the van with the medkit. When Camila starts ranting about which suture is best, Beatrice lets herself pass out, if only for the sake of her own sanity.

——————

When Beatrice comes to once more, she is unsure where she is. He head is aching, and her stomach feels tight. Her consciousness is barely there, and when her eyes open she swears her mother is waiting at her bedside. Panic surges through her, the heart monitor speeding up.

“Bea,” Someone calls. It sounds like her father. She doesn't want to see him, she is too ashamed.

“Bea, you need to breathe!” A voice breaks through her haze. This time, it's Shannon. She is touching her shoulder. When did she get out of her battle uniform? Beatrice looks down to her own body. Why does she not have her battle gear on? How long has she been out?

“It's alright,” Shannon says to calm her.

A door opens, Beatrice whips her head around to face the newcomer.

“Just me,” Mary says, holding a glass of water.

Shannon stands, leaving the room. When she passes by Mary, she rests her arm on Mary's shoulder. Mary grips Shannon's hand, and offers her a warm smile. Beatrice watches the interaction, her chest constricting on itself. She looks away, feeling like she intruded on their own silent conversation.

“Beatrice,” Mary calls to her, and Bea reluctantly turns her head back. “You scared the hell out of us.”

She doesn't know what to say. She settles for an apology. “I'm sorry.”

Mary stares at her for a long time, her eyes scanning her face. Beatrice hates that. Mary is trying to dissect her, and its working. Beatrice looks away, Mary is too good at what she does.

The older woman sighs, sits down where Shannon was, and places the glass of water on the bedside table.

Beatrice stares at the IV in her arm. She wants it out. She hates feeling useless.

“One hell of a birthday mission, huh?” Mary tries again, and this time Beatrice looks back up in confusion.

“How did you-” Beatrice is cut off mid sentence.

“Mother Superion shared some of your file with Shannon. Which she shared with me.” Mary answers, her eyes softening.

Beatrice is frozen in fear. How much did Mary know? How much did Shannon know? Do they both know she is a deviant who was thrown out from her only home. Does Mother Superion know?

The thoughts make her panic, the heart rate monitor speeding up.

“Bea, hey,” Mary raises her hands to Beatrice's left arm, trying to calm her.

“I will tell you what I know, okay?” Mary doesn't break eye contact, and Beatrice hates how much Mary knows her already.

Once the monitor goes back to normal after a few rounds of Beatrice's box breathing, Mary settles back into her chair.

Mary sighs again, this time she's the first one to look away.

“I know you were sought out,” Mary starts.

“Because of the boarding school in Switzerland. Shannon told me how you were a model student,” Mary smiles, giving Beatrice some mercy.

“I also know,” Mary leans forward, clasping her hands together and finally looking at Beatrice, “that you were kicked out. Shannon told me.”

Beatrice started to panic, but Mary was quick to continue.

“She didn't tell me why,” Mary continued to stare at her, and Beatrice was starting to feel the familiar effects of suffocation. Like when she came back home that day to find a suitcase already packed on her bed, with a note that stated the date she would be starting at her new school.

“But, Beatrice, you have to know that no one told me. I figured it out shortly after,” Mary rubbed her eyes. “What your parents did. Why they did it.”

Beatrice shook her head. She needed to save herself. Tell Mary it wasn't true. Tell her that she is not like that.

“I know, kiddo. And I need you to understand that it doesn't change how worried me and Shannon were for you on that mission.”

Beatrice held her breath.

“When you went down, and Shannon screamed, it felt like I was going down with you. In the van, Shannon kept trembling and I couldn't do anything because I was terrified shitless too- don't tell Shannon I said that,” They both let out a watery chuckle, Beatrice's more like a sigh from not breathing.

Mary continued. “Shannon and I are... close,” She reached out to touch Beatrice's arm. “Like what your parents threw you out for.”

Beatrice let out a small noise, a mix between a gasp and a sob. Mary tightened her grip.

“Mother Superion doesn't know. Only Shannon and I. And kiddo, we both love you so much, don't ever think any differently, okay?” Mary drew closer, and Beatrice surged forward to hug her.

Mary attempted to wrap her arms around the young girl, but Beatrice stiffened due to the still sensitive stitches.

Mary pulled back, her watery eyes matching Beatrice's.

“Okay,” Mary cleared her throat. “I told Shannon to get us each a slice of cake from the market down the road. She'll come back and we'll celebrate in a calm and stress free way with you not pulling any stitches, huh?” Mary suggested.

Beatrice nodded, finally having the strength to talk. “Yes. I... I would like that.”

Mary smiled in response, grabbing her phone from her pocket. As she was about to text Shannon, Beatrice spoke once more.

“Can we invite Camila, too? It's only right, after I almost gave her a heart attack in the van.”

Mary laughed and nodded, adding into the text to Shannon for her to bring Camila.

Beatrice smiles. She thought she had a family. Then, she was forced out for simply loving.

Now though, Beatrice thinks she earned a different family here. A permanent one.

25.

The bar was closed, yet two people remained inside. Despite the 'Geschlossen' sign on the door, a bottle of whisky remained open.

Hans was behind the bar, his hands working on wiping down his counter. His eyes have been watching Beatrice for the past minute. She was on the other side of the bar, sitting on one of the more rickety stools, and staring at the full glass in front of her. She hadn't taken a drink since Hans poured it for her- that was fifteen minutes ago.

Hans wondered in that moment what really happened with Ava. He had seen something on the news, but he had only caught a glimpse of it during an insanely busy happy hour rush. Later in his shift, he had heard a customer talking about the Pope's death. Hans wasn't a religious man by any means, so he had simply ignored it.

Now though, he watched as Beatrice was cracking at the seams. Ever since she came back a year ago, he watched as she slowly broke. Of course, her boss title was stripped from her when she left the first time, so she was reduced to simply bartending. Hans was sure she would rise up the rinks to boss again- their sales weren't exactly booming right now. They could use a better manager once more, Beatrice always knew which drinks to upsell, and how many sales they needed each week.

Beatrice was good like that. She was good because she had Ava. Now, Beatrice hardly talks to the customer, only doing so when asking which drink they want.

Hans frowned as the woman in question kept staring at the glass. He doesn't think she's even had a drop of alcohol since that night Ava convinced her to try lemon drops.

Instead of letting it sit and simmer, Hans slides over to face Beatrice.

He looks at the glass, then grabs the bottle of whisky and the cap to close it. Before he gets the cap on, though, a hand reaches to grab at his forearm.

“Don't.” Beatrice says simply.

“You haven't even taken a sip,” Hans reasons, yet he sets the opened bottle back down.

“I'm working up the courage,” Beatrice shrugs.

A silence falls between them. Hans wants to ask, but frankly he is quite intimidated by Beatrice. He would've asked her if Ava was in the next stool over. Yet, she isn't.

“I'm 25 today.” Beatrice states, and her voice cuts through Hans' thoughts of Ava like a newly sharpened knife.

“Oh? Happy Birthday! Have you celebrated?” Hans smiles, hoping to make small talk.

Beatrice shakes her head. Her gaze has never left the brown tint of the whisky.

Hans decides he needs to just go for it in order to get answers. “Ava would definitely have something planned. She would probably rope me into it too, if she were here.”

Something inexplicable happens then. Beatrice's face twists, and Hans worries that she might be having a stroke.

Then, the girl starts to cry. Tears soon follow her quiet sobs, and Hans is rendered speechless.

“I'm sorry, I really didn't think I would make you-” He he cut off by a whimpering Beatrice.

“You're right! She would've planned something, would've decorated the flat even. She probably would've bought me a cake too!” Hans remains silent as Beatrice continues, thinking it is for the best if she gets it out. “And I haven't had a birthday cake in so long! She would've asked for my favourite flavor, and maybe my favourite colour- she knows that already actually,” Beatrice pauses.

“Knew. She knew my favourite colour.” Beatrice grabs the glass, but she doesn't lift it. “She would probably crash my shift at the bar,” She lets out a watery laugh, and Hans chuckles with her. “She would've made the whole bar get roped into singing happy birthday to me.”

Beatrice lets out a wet sigh, a tear falling when she blinks. “And yet she wont. Because she's not here. But she would be. She would be here, if the world wasn't so set on making her fight for everything.”

Hans starts to feel his own eyes water.

“She would be here, but she can't. And I let her go,” Beatrice grips the glass harder, and finally lifts it to her mouth.

Hans watches in shock as she downs the glass without a flinch. Beatrice reaches for the bottle, and pours herself another.

“And Mary. Mary would sing with Ava. Yasmine would join in purely because she likes the song. Lilith would glare at all three of them, but she would probably end up getting pulled in by Ava. Camila would bring the cake in, and Shannon would cut everyone a slice before getting one herself,” Beatrice gasps.

Hans has no idea who those people are, but they have to be important to her and Ava, wherever she is now.

Beatrice continues, Hans reaches for her hand. Beatrice lets him.

“I miss them so much. Shannon didn't stand a chance, and I was so sad for Mary when it happened. I was even sadder when she went. Sometimes I wished they were my real biological parents because they actually accepted me for my sexuality,” Hans blinks, a tear falls. “And Lilith. She and I were the most alike, and then she went to Hell and came back as someone different. And although she became our enemy and even tried to hurt Ava, she is still my sister. She is still my sister, just like Camila is. Oh, Camila. I miss her so much, and I left her like Ava left me. And Shannon once told me before she went to look after Camila because she was the youngest. And I said I would. I meant it too, I really did. But then she grew up and I thought it was fine so I left but now I know that it's not Camila that needs me, it's me who needs her because Ava left and I don't even know if she is alive at this point.”

Hans chokes back a sob. So it's that kind of leaving. And here he thought he would shout and yell at Ava for leaving someone like Beatrice if she returned to the bar.

Beatrice lets her tears flow freely now, raising her glass and taking her second gulp.

“I miss all of them so much. And I miss Ava. I miss her so much that it takes up all the feeling in my body, and I can't move. And then I understand what Ava felt like when she was paralyzed. And then my heart hurts more for her because the world treated her like shit,” Hans feels it would be best not to mention the swear right now, “And yet she trusted me. The world didn't give her any reason to trust me. Hell, I even drugged her the first time I saw her! And yet she looked at me so intensely and unraveled my secrets. I came out to her and she handled me with so much care that I started to like myself again because of it. She handled me with so much love that when I finally knew what I wanted to do, it was too late. It was too late and she got hurt and she had to leave,”

Beatrice pushes the bottle away, signaling to Hans that she was done. Hans didn't want to let go of her hand, so he ignored it for now.

“And then I went back into that dark room of disappointment and disgust from my parents. I went back there and I couldn't get out so I left Camila there. I went back there and I'm still there because Ava is gone and she can't use her light to give me a beacon anymore.”

Once Beatrice was done speaking, Hans tightened his hold on her. It took a few minutes of silence from them both, only breaking it to sniffle. Hans had took these minutes to gather his own words, and he opened his mouth to speak.

“I don't want to overstep your boundaries,” He started, and Beatrice looked up at him with so much feeling in her eyes that Hans had to take a breath before continuing.

“What I can say, though, is that Ava loves you,” Beatrice let out a small whimper, another tear falling at his words. “And even if I don't know where she is or what happened, I do know that her love for you will help her find her way back here.”

(In a couple years from now, Ava will spill her gratitude for Hans for his care of Beatrice. He will shrug and say it was no big deal, but Ava will know because of how hard the first few weeks back with Beatrice were. She will still make him a cake, with the help of Camila, and give it to him during one of his shifts. She will still hug him and express her gratitude in the form of 'I'm glad Beatrice had someone as giving as you. I'm glad she had someone to tell her it wasn't her fault, because it never was.' And what Ava really meant was that she was glad someone was there to pick up Beatrice's pieces. Beatrice will rush in, grabbing Ava's hand and apologizing to Hans for the disruption. Hans will shrug and say it was no big deal, then Beatrice would smile and Ava would smile at Beatrice's smile. And then the two of them would make their way to the bar's exit, Beatrice talking about how they will be late to meeting Camila's boyfriend. Ava will nod and wrap her arm around Beatrice's middle, and Beatrice would raise her own arm to wrap around her partner. And Hans would smile at the two of them, and then tell the newbie to get back to work and stop oogling the two, while he goes over inventory at Halo, his bar that has been non stop bustling since his grand opening last week.)

Beatrice looks at Hans then. She sighs, sitting back and out of Hans' reach to wipe her eyes.

“You,” She starts, looking back at him with red eyes. “Are a good bartender. You should open your own bar someday.”

Hans shrugs, a smile forming on both of their faces.

“Only if you are my manager and Ava the bartender.”

Beatrice's smile grows.

“Say, lets have a little birthday party tomorrow.”

Beatrice shakes her head and opens her mouth to argue, but Hans beats her to it.

“It'll be just us. And though I can't bake, I will gladly buy you a cake and we can share.” He reasons, yet Beatrice still looks unsure.

Hans decides to push her more, “C'mon, you know Ava would want you to celebrate. We can even cut a slice for her.”

That is what gets Beatrice to give a tiny nod, and for Hans to smile victoriously and grab the bottle to get fill his own glass.

[frodo-with-glasses]

More Reading Thoughts: The Shadow of the Past

"The blame was mostly laid on Gandalf." Whatever you did, you've been officially labeled a Disturber of the Peace...

Something about "but the growth of hobbit-sense was not very noticeable" cracks me up

I love the fact that Frodo kept throwing birthday parties for Bilbo after he left. It's so sweet.

I would much rather go to Frodo’s Hundred-weight Feast than Bilbo’s Party of Special Magnificence, actually; twenty guests and several meals “at which it snowed food and rained drink” sounds much more my speed X-D

“Bilbo isn’t dead.” “Where is he then?” “🤷‍♂️”

F in the chat for Folco Boffin, who was mentioned like once in this chapter and never comes into the story again

"Merry and Pippin suspected that [Frodo] visited the Elves at times, as Bilbo had done." TEA???

Frodo's wandering in the autumn has such an evocative and melancholy feeling to it. So much so that I wrote a poem about it last year...

Part Two of me wishing the movies could have shown the Dwarves passing through the Shire on their way to the Blue Mountains

Sam be like "Dragons and Ents are real, I tell you!" and Ted Sandyman like "press X to doubt"

Our first glimpse of Sam's unassailable trust in Frodo and his wisdom 💚

And now! Exposition dumping, with Gandalf.

I hate the fact that I can't see or hear the word Eregion without getting war flashbacks to Amazon's Rings of Poopy

Ooh, remind me to write an essay about the invisibility power of the Ring(s)...

"[Bilbo] would certainly never have passed on to you anything that he thought would be a danger." Oh boy, would you look at the time, it's Crying About Adoptive Relationships O'clock

"'There wasn't any permanent harm done, was there?' asked Frodo anxiously. 'He would get all right in time, wouldn't he? Be able to rest in peace, I mean.'" OH BOY, WOULD YOU LOOK AT THE TIME—

Literally Gandalf: "Hobbits are my special interest"

"It is quite cool." It sure is, Gandalf. Wicked. Radical, even.

Low-hanging fruit, I know, but I had to 🤣

Speaking of low-hanging fruit, here's a joke I made two years ago about the "until Spring had passed into Winter" line:

He threw a luau barbecue one breezy summer night/Invited all his turtle pals to come and have a wiki bite/The turtles started walkin' there as Lance began to swing/The one that lived across the street arrived there in the spring...!

"I wish it need not have happened in my time." "So do I, and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us." Still a line that goes so, so hard, right in the middle of this exposition dump.

I like how in Gandalf's story, he makes Deagol talk normally, but Smeagol still has all those verbal idiosyncrasies that are iconic to Gollum.

I'm still trying to remember who it was that pointed out that the last syllable of Smeagol is the first syllable of Gollum. Blew my mind when I saw that, I tell ya.

"I can put it no plainer than by saying that Bilbo was meant to find the Ring, and not by its maker. In which case you also were meant to have it. And that may be an encouraging thought." "It is not." 🤣🤣🤣

The thought of Gollum creeping through a window to snatch a baby from a cradle and eat it is at least seventeen different kinds of Not Fun. Thanks, Tolkien.

I have very little to say about Gandalf's retelling of the Ring's story—and Frodo's frightened and naive questions—except that it's almost as hard to tear your eyes away from the book as it is for Frodo to throw the Ring into the fire.

"I do really wish to destroy it! Or, well, to have it destroyed. I am not made for perilous quests." Oh, Frodo, bby...

I love how Sam's spying is so artfully foreshadowed here X-D You just go whistling away down that path, buddy! Nobody suspects a thing!

All Frodo has to say is "I suppose I'll have to go running into danger alone to keep everything and everyone I love safe, even if it means never coming home again; it's a pity, but I'll do it" and Gandalf is like "Frodo have I mentioned lately how much I love you and hobbits in general". Which. Mood! Big mood!

SUDDENLY, SAMWISE GAMGEE!

Good gracious did I need Sam and his comic relief after this heavy chapter X-D Bless you, Sam, you loveable dummy

I wonder what hobbit idiom Tolkien "translated" into "Lor bless you, sir". I'm not sure the hobbits have a concept of Eru Illuvatar as a benevolent God who hands out blessings; and if they do, I somehow doubt they'd have quaint little figures of speech like this. But I'm just nitpicking at this point because it's fun.

"There ain't no eaves at Bag End, and that's a fact." SAM 🤣🤣

"Mr. Frodo, sir! Don't let him hurt me, sir! Don't let him turn me into anything unnatural! My old dad would take on so." Have I mentioned that I love the heck out of Sam?

Frodo is "hardly able to keep from laughing", which, MOOD!

Sam heard that Mr. Frodo was going away and audibly choked. GAH I love him so much

Frodo sure knows how to threaten Sam LOL

"If you even breathe a word of what you've heard here, then I hope Gandalf will turn you into a spotted toad and fill the garden full of grass-snakes." 🤣🤣

"'Me, sir!' cried Sam, springing up like a dog invited for a walk. 'Me go and see Elves and all! Hooray!' he shouted, and then burst into tears." Oh, Sam. I love you.

[moiravim]

I Miss When We First Met: Chapter 18

YN Potter falls in love with Draco Malfoy. Along with that, her relationship with her brother, Harry begins to fall apart as she was sorted into Slytherin. Will Harry find out about the relationship between his enemy and his sister?

IMWWFM: Masterlist

Usually Harry, Neville, and Ginny were the only ones to send you letters. Which is why you were surprised when you received a letter in an unfamiliar envelope.

When you open the envelope you were shocked to see who it was from.

(Dear YN, I've come to realize that I'm in love with you. I've liked you since the day we met on the Hogwarts Express. I'm sorry that I couldn't be part of your life sooner. I've been keeping something from you. My father isn't a good person. He always has a watchful eye on me and I can't risk him finding out about you. He already hates you and your brother. He can't find out about my feelings for you. I wish our families got along. I wish I wasn't a Malfoy. But that's not possible. It's painful to hide these feelings from everyone. I'm thankful at least you can know now. Please meet me at the one-eyed witch secret passage way which leads to Hogsmeade on Friday after classes. Don't worry about food, Dinner is on me. We can talk about this all there, where no one can see us. Love, Draco.)

You knew you had to go. You've had a crush on him since first year. It was possible that it could have been a prank, but to you it was worth the risk.

You made sure to tell Neville and Ginny that you would be busy Friday. After classes you make your way over to the one-eyed whitch statue.

You enter the passageway and wait for Draco. "Hey, YN. I'm over here" You hear Draco say from behind you.

"Oh. Hey, Draco" You respond, nervously. "Now that we're alone, I need to talk to you about something really important." He states in a tone that makes you feel concerned.

"What's wrong, Draco?" You question him.

"The darklord is back, and my parents are death eaters, working for him." He states timidly.

You almost gasp as you hear those words leave his mouth. "Wait,what? He-who-must-not-be-named is back? How?"

"I don't know, my parents hold death eater meetings, and the darklord has been there talking with my parents." He states, looking into your eyes.

"What the hell, Draco, what does this have to do with me?" You question furiously.

"He wants to kill Harry... and also you." He says, breaking eye contact with you to put his head down in shame.

You look at him, a shocked expression on your face that then turns into a confused one. "Why would he want to kill me?"

Draco lifts his head back up before answering; "Uhh... because your James Potter's daughter?"

You look at him, almost laughing at his confused expression. "I'm adopted, Draco."

He looks at you, baffled, jaw slightly open in shock. "You're what?"

"I am adopted Draco. I am not related to Harry, I don't know who my real parents are. I was adopted by James and Lilly Potter when I was really young." You state

"Oh... well, I don't know why the darklord would want to kill you then..."

"It's alright, he probably doesn't know that I'm not actually related to Harry. You're the only person besides me and Harry to know that I'm adopted." You mumble as the two of you continue to walk to honeydukes.

You and Draco arrive at honeydukes and start to head upstairs so you can make your way to the three broomsticks.

You and Draco go to a quiet table towards the back so you are able to continue the conversation you guys were having earlier.

"So about the letter you wrote me... did you really mean what you said?" You question hopefully.

He avoids eye contact with you, looking all around the restaurant, completely avoiding your gaze. "Yes, YN, I really did mean what I said, I like you."

You feel your face heat up at his words. "Well, I like you too, Draco."

The two of you continued to eat your dinner, a comfortable silence taking over with the occasional chatter of the other people around you.

As the sun starts to set, both of you decide that it's time to head back to Hogwarts.

As you walk through the tunnel, you feel Draco's hand in yours.

You fave heating up as your hands interlock, walking through the tunnel in silence.

As you finally exit the tunnel dracos' hand, let's go of yours. You were about to question why, but he began to speak.

"We have to keep us a secret. If my parents find out I like someone related to Potter, they'll freak out." He states sadly, looking at you

"It's ok, I understand, I'll see you tomorrow, Draco." You say smiling softly at him before heading inside the castle, heading towards the Slytherin common room and into your room.

[h0ney-gl0ws]

Fire Emblem Boys! Parenting Headcanons!

Here’s a short collection of headcanons of how the fire emblem boys are as parents! Includes characters from fire emblem engage and three houses!

Characters are: Kagetsu, Ashe, Claude, and Diamant

Word Count: 896 (approx)

Kagetsu: I saw a video of a man doing this challenge to hang from a pull up pole for 100s, and he did it with a baby strapped to his chest, yeah, that’s Kagetsu

Kagetsu would totally give his babies rubber knives and stuff for fun. He wants his kids to be powerful fighters when they’re grown up after all.

Speaking of that, Kagetsu would totally sword fight his kids once they’re old enough and have at least learned the basics.

Kagetsu when his kids are older: “Finally a worthy opponent, our battle will be legendary!”

Kagetsu sometimes would go too far during training sessions, and his wife(you ;) ) would have to tell him to reel it back in. Kagetsu would feel bad and let his kids win after that. Pretending to be real hurt by their hits and all that. “Oh wow! Look at how strong you guys have gotten! You’re able to take even me down.”

Kagetsu’s wife would totally step in to have some fun as well with play fighting Kagetsu. And it turns into a real fun family bonding moment. “Aghast, my own love betraying me?! How could you!” Lots of giggles from the kids during and after.

Overall, very good dad 9/10.

Ashe: Oh, you know he would just be the sweetest dad ever. Ashe’s kids would just be the cutest little angels.

He’d teach them how to cook and all teaching sessions would end up being a giggle fest in the kitchen usually with flour all over the place.

Ashe’s kid: pours 90% of milk on the floor and 10% into the bowl. Ashe: Great job buddy! :D

You know he would teach his kids to have the same morals as him. In that everyone deserves to be shown kindness and to have a second chance. He doesn’t shy away his past from them, and wants to make sure they understand how his late adopted father’s kindness changed his life for the better.

He really cant resist when his kids come home holding bunches of kittens or puppies, and even on one occasion a snake, and you’ll have to step in to be the voice of reason like “no you cannot keep 12 cats in our pantry, put them back.” Lolol

Ashe would give you the puppy dog eyes too when your kids start to pout, and it definitely didn’t work and you definitely didn’t keep one of the kittens

In conclusion, cinnamon roll dad 10/10

Claude: Claude’s not a regular dad, he’s a cool dad XD

He wants his kids to be comfortable on wyverns so he takes them flying often. You worry of course, but he always assures you he is right there with them, and they are perfectly safe. Plus seeing the kids excitement as they try to explain to you how cool flying is, eases your worry plenty.

Claude’s kids would end up being little rascals, running around the halls of the palace, playing pranks on royal staff. Usual rambunctious kid stuff.

Claude has almost certainly assisted in their little tirades, especially on the ones directed at Lorenz. He once got them to replace all of the sugar in Lorenz’s tea with salt. Claude got quite the earful after from him, but Lorenz couldn’t prove anything.

That’s not to say that Claude can’t be a responsible parent when he needs to be. If his kids were getting involved in something that would put them or others in danger, you bet the stern dad voice is coming out and he’s teaching them why they can’t be doing that.

Very nice dad overall, his family wishes he could spend more time with them, but I digress 7/10

Diamant: This one is a difficult one for me, as I try to portray them as the best dads they can be, however I see Diamant’s best as…rocky.

I feel like he would be overprotective, he’s very worried about anything bad happening to them. As a result of this he can be a bit overbearing.

On the other side of the spectrum, when’s he’s not being overbearing he can be distant. His anxiety over running the kingdom, and his own insecurity about being a father can cause him to push people away, and as a result you would be doing a lot of the parenting.

Of course all of these tendencies come from a place of love. He wants to be the best father he can, he’s just not great at navigating his emotions.

Every night, however, when your kids are tucked into bed you can hear him whispering stories about how great of a king his father was, and your kids fall asleep hearing tales of how amazing their grandfather was.

You also see them showing interest in his training. They love watching him train, and often times want to join him. which is great because he wants to teach all of his kids self defense. He wants them to be able to protect themselves when he’s not there after all.

In the end, his kids adore him even if he’s not the greatest parent at times, and you know that this is just another chapter of life you will be able to work through together. 5/10

[rubiajieun]

-Lilia Lost His Magic to Hatch Malleus Theory-

Now now, I KNOW THIS SOUNDS CRAZY AND IT IS BUT PLEASE HEAR ME OUT

⚠️WARNING ⚠️

SPOILER'S FOR CHALTER 7, TWST JP AND CHAPTER 7 PART 3

Do not proceed if you don't wish to be spoiled

So in the recent/not so recent update on Chapter 7/Book 7 we got quite a lot of info dumped on us one of them being Malleus age, His Parent's and the war that was happening

In short summary the dream/timeline the diashakle group are in is about 500+ year's ago when a war happened between a human kingdom and Briar Valley

But surprised surprise! Malleona (Malleus Mother) has been taking care of her egg and guess again? That right Malleus in real time is only in his 100! I forgot what age princely but it's in 100's

So making the timeline not make sense at all (but then again Silver baby this is a dream after all)

We get confirmation that Malleona was a Princess and is Malleus Grandmother Maleficia's Daughter and only child

So here is the theory that starts it

As we all know and if you haven't read my Crowley is Malleus Father in order for a fea egg to Hatch it needs the live of both parents and magic to hatch

Lilia reveal that Malleus father (His name is Levan or Revan) had gone missing while going to attempt to get into an agreement with the Silver Owl People

Whom all messengers from them have gone also missing

After leaving Malleona to try and stop this war he himself went missing and never returned

This is why Lilia travels because he has hopes that he is alive as he was childhood friends with both and was taken in by Maleficia herself (basically like an adopted brother to Malleona)

So with that being said and Levan being missing, there is only so much Malleona can do other than give her half of her love as she can't fill in what Malleus father's part and use as much magic as she can

With that being said again you can't just hatch an egg with just pure Magic it's really hard to do that because the child needs to know that it's loved in order to hatch

So at some point during this war it seems that Mal's mother passes away AKA she gets murdered

With no one not even his parents being able to hatch him I can see that his kingdom lost all hope maybe even his grandmother lost all hope that their only hope and sole heir may never hatch

Now this were Lilia comes in

What if while all hope is lost Lilia makes on final sacrifice

One final attempt to bring hope back to his home, the home if his beloved friends the Queen that even tho6she had no need to take him in she did and now lost her only daughter

Like the say "You can have everything in life, Sacrifice's need 5o be made in order to achieve"

An eye for and eye

A leg for a leg

A tooth or a tooth

And life for another magic that gives life

(magic is like breathing to fea giving that up is like suicide)

And so he used all his magic to hatch Malleus and maybe potentially had to learn to love Mal to hatch him

But if he didn't let's say he did it with just magic

Then that would mean the oh so great general Lilia

Has made a miracle happen!

A pure miracle

It was a sacrifice but at what coast?

He surely doesn't regret it he is sure his beloved friend Malleona is happy

He is sure his beloved friend Levan is also happy even though deep in his heart he wants him to still be alive

And so that could also explain Malleus and Maleficia's attachment to Lilia

Maybe this just why he is someone Maleficia trust absolutely

Because he gave her a miracle when all hope was lost

While for Malleus is because Lilia literally raised him and hatched him

Imagine baby Malleus in his egg receiving all the love and magic from his parents only for literal 500 to pass without it and no birth suddenly magic comes in and you get out

You would expect to see the parents that took care of you for while you were in the egg only to be met with no one

No one but one man

That man being the one that give Malleus egg magic so he could hatch

Like I said maybe this is the reason Lilia lost his magic

He lost was is like breathing to him in order to bring a life to this world

And no matter what he doesn't regret it heck he would probably do it all over again if he could

[mayasdeluca]

Station 19 7x01 Thoughts

We finally got Marina back on our screens! I missed them so much. 😭 You could tell Carina was connected to that little baby from the start and the fact that it made her realize she wanted a fresh start with Maya in a new home because the waitress didn't make it. (Loved Maya reassuring her saying she did everything she could too!) I loved that scene (that was mostly spoiled) except the kiss angle! Like come on ABC, we are on at 10pm now, that can't be happening! Even if I get they were probably going for the 'sneaky' vibe since they were at work and I loved that they were trying to be a little secretive about it but we better not see any of their other kisses like that, there's no excuse!

The chef immediately going up to Carina and saying he wanted to adopt the baby gave me weird vibes from the start and you could tell Carina was upset at the idea...I also really like that the name ended up being Liam because it has its own meaning that doesn't have to do with anything else and it's a cute name! (in my opinion)

The last Marina scene...I really wish it was longer and they had gotten more of a chance to really discuss the idea of adopting a baby because they really didn't bring it up at all? I liked that Maya was the one who suggested it first even if we saw that Carina was already attached but I just wish they could have expressed their feelings about it more before automatically just saying yes we can do this. I get they are crunched for time and there's a lot going on but it just feels like they're cheapening what is an important story. But I'm thrilled that they added they will still try to get pregnant and continue that process...here's hoping by the end of the season they will have two babies. (My theory of Carina giving birth in the finale and that being the 'crazy Grey's crossover' with a character being at Grey's in a way they haven't before is definitely following that.)

The Andy speech was even worse in real time. Like really? She even had to name every single person who was captain before her? Excessive and unnecessary. Show don't tell. She's definitely going to get on my nerves this season.

Ghost Jack was...interesting? I guess it added something. Not surprised he won't be able to fight fires anymore since we all basically guessed that anyway. I am curious if he'll be on throughout the whole season or if he'll end up leaving or something.

Vic was amazing with the Crisis One stuff. Theo is still an asshole and I want nothing to do with him. The Ross/Sullivan stuff? Eh.

Oh also the fact that Travis and Emmett got the 'sex' scene of the episode and not Marina? 🤡 Some choice words about that but hopefully ours is coming...

All in all I wish we got more Marina but they are moms!!! They have a little boy!!! Liam Deluca-Bishop is theirs and I can't wait to see them with him! Give me all the cute domestic scenes because that baby is adorable! 😍

And this was everything. ❤️

We are so back!!

[l3visthighs]

Hey lovely Alyssa ✨

I hope you're doing well!

The Leviana fanarts you post are always amazing & I wondered if you could tell us more about your OC Ilyana? I'm really curious about this cutie!

Smooches 😘

Val, hi! 💕 how’re you doing?

Thank you so much for your question about Ilyana. It makes my heart so happy when people show an interest in her.

I have a little story I’ve been working on for a while for her & Levi. It’s just never seen the light of day because I don’t have a lot of confidence in my writing/storytelling. So it’s been more of a project just for me. :’)

I’ll insert a few paragraphs of it here though just to give a little more insight about her (her background, her personality, etc) <3

Year 843: 

That day had finally come; the day that Ilyana Hoover dreaded every single day since her adopted brother, Bertolt, had told her that he wanted to become a warrior. Today was the day she watched him inherit the Colossal Titan.  She couldn't believe it, she didn't want to. Thirteen years. Thirteen years is all she had left with him. For years she had tried to talk him out of it. But here she is now. Watching him train for his upcoming mission in Paradis with the now Armored Titan and Female Titan. She's going with them on their mission. She had already decided that long ago; she told herself no matter what the outcome was today that she would be there for him. She knows her brother. He's emotional, sometimes weak, and anxious. No matter what role they decide to give her in the mission, she would do it, she would go. If only to protect him. 

"I really don't think you should come along, Ilyana. It's going to be dangerous. We don't know what these island devils are capable of. Stay here and look after mom. She needs you." He pleads with her that evening. 

"You're really lecturing me over it being dangerous? Bert, you're scared of your own shadow most of the time" She sighs. "If I don't go with you and something happens to you, I wouldn't be able to live with that. I already made up my mind. I don't trust Reiner to protect you, either. You and I both know how hot headed and emotional he can be at times. Mom will be just fine. She's got dad here to watch over her. You know he'd never let her roam the streets alone." 

He shakes his head and pinches the bridge of his nose. She's right. He knows she is; and he knows there's no convincing her otherwise. His sister has always been stubborn. A bit hot headed herself at times. He knows she just wants the best for him. She's always been protective of him. But he can't help but wish she'd believe in him, just this one time. He knows he can handle himself. He's been through the training, he knows what to expect; what he's getting himself into. 

Ilyana always knew she was different from the others of her kind. Born a Marleyan but adopted at a young age by an Eldian family; the Hoover family. They’d found her alone on the street one evening and decided to take her in; a few years later came Bertolt. She never knew her real parents, nor what had happened to them. Every Marleyan here was disgusted by the Eldians. She had watched her family be talked down to, pushed around and spit at walking down the streets. But growing up and living in an Eldian family made her feel much differently towards them. She had read the history books, heard all of the rumors; But she refused to believe they were all as bad as the people of Marley had made them out to be. She loved the Hoovers. They had always treated her like their own. The least she could do in return for everything they'd done for her is watch after their son, her brother; blood relation or not. She would protect him with her life. 

————————

TLDR: Ilyana Hoover is a Marleyan; she was adopted by the Hoovers at a young age. She’s extremely protective over her brother, Bertolt. She finds herself feeling super sympathetic towards all Eldians; including the ones on the island. Shes confident, not afraid to hold her own ground/speak up for herself; but can also be extremely hot headed & rash. (Which causes for some bickering with Levi later on in the story) she travels to the island with the Warriors as a spy.

(Also all artwork of them is done by the lovely @/catyypss)

[officialtrashbin]

Ok ok ok ok ok wrap-up thoughts on the season now that the finale is out:

First of all, DEATHBIT DEATHBIT DEATHBIT

2) ok the subplot with Rogue and Magneto actually grew on me. Like, she’s rejected him ultimately but they still mattered to each other and they still do, it’s just not romantic from her side anymore. I can’t blame magneto for not getting over her rejection I’d never be able to take the psychic damage of losing Rogue

also yeah the age gap was a little weird but I’m living for the drama and the potential for their platonic friendship. I want to make a comment about how their stint is an example of unidentified trauma becoming trauma bonding but then I have to like…write it.

3) I actually think Roberto and Jubilee were super cute and have elected to give their storylines a pass. Like they’re just kids coming into adulthood and have found comfort in each other, that’s good enough for me for now. (Though I’d like to see more of comic-accurate Sunspot being adapted but I digress. It’s only been 1 season.)

Also I think Sunspot awkwardly hanging around the Xmen slowly coming to terms with his speedran adoption is the funniest basis for an arc and have no further comments. Might write a fic later on his Struggles.

4) KURT JOINING THE MOTHERFUCKIN SQUAD BABYYYY and literally just everything about him. Being so supportive of Rogue and holding her and encouraging Gambit and just 😭😭😭😭

5) PHOENIX JEAN PHOENIX JEAN I LOVED JEAN

6) cyclops was one of my least favs in the original, this show put so much respect back on his name. I actually adore him now—plus the scenes with him doting on his grown ass man child is hysterical. Need more of it. I need this guy telling people this Hulk Hogan of a unit is his lil boy.

If Nathan isn’t seen later at a baseball game with Scott in a Summer 01 jersey and the cyborg arm badly painted over I’m committing crimes.

7) I think Storm needed way more screen time. I know there were scenes with her written out due to budget issues (and also them skipping her goodbye to Gambit made me annoyed) but like. The fact that her centric arc was put across two episodes shared with other episodes was irritating.

7.5) In this same vein I missed Bishop, I got so attached!!!! but here’s to hoping he’s kicking ass again in s2!

8) the rate in which I fell in love with these characters all over again is insane. Like harder than the original show in a fraction of the time.

9) Rogue did nothing wrong. 😭

10) Magneto definitely wasn’t right, but it’s interesting to witness how they justified his view point with Genosha and Bastion, and the ripple effect it had on people who didn’t even agree with him in the first place.

11) Cherik lmfao they were SO gay. I’m all for affectionate besties and dudes being shown as having close platonic bonds but this was Very Affectionate Besties with Seductive Grin Bedroom Eyes Charles Every Two Sentences.

12) honestly want a version of this show though where Charles stayed gone. I actually like him! I just think not having him around to help guide everyone made things so much spicier. Magneto was StrugglingTM for Real

13) Gambit’s death was so good, but I definitely figured he’d be coming back somehow because there was no way they were offing him thinking Rogue didn’t choose him.

14) speaking of, I was mostly joking in my shitposts about Death Gambit cause I had my money on a possible Sentinel Gambit with Bastion’s introduction, but the moment they went to Egypt I started clawing up all my old shit posts.

15) ROGUE DID NOTHING WRONG (lots of wrong but you know what? I love her. She can commit wrongs again.)

16) Beast was so good but I also low key wish he had a bit more screen time. His bitterness after Genosha was short-lived, I wish it had been explored more, like Charles talking it out of him or something and reminding him about their goals or…something.

17) Bastion was awesome no notes, hope he comes back as a horseman for the flex

18) hot Magneto no notes

19) hot Apocalypse no notes

20) crop top Gambit no notes

21) “His name was Gambit! Remember it!” Rogue was so beast in this season, it was cathartic watching her beat the shit out of Bastion. Her and Sunspot honestly make for a cool combat duo and I want to see them interact more.

22) DEATH GAMBIT AAAAAAHHHHHG

23) ey yo hold up does this mean Leech and the Morlochs and the perished Genosha mutants are permanently dead??? 💀

24) Logan and Morph were definitely something this season and I adored it, I adored Morph especially. Like Morph really said I Love You even if it was as Jean, I take what I can get

26) Magneto ripping Wolverine’s skeleton out like homie wouldn’t try to kill him with a wooden chair if given the opportunity. If anything now Logan has 0 weaknesses and a personal vendetta he can act upon. Rest in pieces Erik.

27) A goddess, a gravely injured Canadian, and a metaphor for gender identity walk into a bar and all 3 say “ouch” (bad joke. You’re welcome. Don’t worry guys, Storm is there so their arc will be wrapped up in about 12 minutes. Sorry can you tell I’m still mildly salty about her lack of screen time)

28) Rogue launching Cap’s shield is 11/10. Do it again do it again (woulda been top tier humor if the end credits showed him still looking for it frantically as the asteroid got closer)

Mostly that’s all I got. I have various other thoughts including how fucking HYPE seeing my fav duo Cloak and Dagger made me, but these were the key personal takeaways.

[burgerrat]

@hofnarrofficial said: gimme everything you got just bury me alive (only if thats possible ofc lmao)

Ok.

Turbo's favourite movie is Herbie: Fully Loaded

He has ALWAYS been flamboyant/effeminate like you see King Candy being. I hate seeing people portray Turbo as this perpetually grumpy/angry bitter person all the time all because of the revelation scene being the one 'real scene' we have of Turbo in his original form. The reason why Ralph wouldn't recognize the similar behaviour pattern is because he didn't know Turbo well enough since he rarely ever left his own game unless it was to go to Tapper's to have a root beer and brag about winning to anyone who'd listen (mainly Felix). Need a 'draw/write Turbo being silly and goofy like King Candy is' solidarity.

Contrary to popular belief, he does like the color pink- he just has a very specific preference for that particular salmon shade of pink.

Turbo and the twins all had racecar beds to sleep in back in TurboTime.

Candybug's desire to take over the entire arcade at the end of the movie is his new cy-bug coding speaking; all Turbo has ever wanted is to race again and be in the spotlight. He would struggle to control his bug instincts not just in terms of resisting beacons of light but also in terms of acting upon intrusive thoughts in general. Mix that with anger and hopelessness that he'll likely never be able to drive again in this new form and you've got the perfect recipe for disaster, because what more does he have to lose?

Do not misunderstand: I too dislike the trope of 'he's just misunderstood' since that is far from the truth, but that doesn't mean he can't have moments where you feel empathy for him (at least in my case): you are programmed to be the protagonist of your world, the best, that is your sole purpose in the life you have. You become addicted to the attention you recieve- foolishly not thinking once that it's possible that may not be the same thing tomorrow. Once that is suddenly taken away, you don't understand why- you're the best. And because you are the best, instead of processing your losses normally, you won't let go. You're instead determined to take back what was rightfully yours. By any means possible. Making the biggest mistake of your life- you kill not just your neighbors but your own home out of impulse. You are to blame for the choice you took- guilt becomes rage, rage becomes bitterness, bitterness becomes calculative; why cry over spilled milk? The damage is done, and your code is desperately crying out to do what you were made to do: race. All you can do is start anew... don't dwell on the past if you want to have the spotlight again, processing your mistake doesn't matter anyway; and so, once a new racing game is in town- you'd be frothing at the mouth to hop in after decades of isolation, wouldn't you? You'd do anything, if you were that desperate and awfully selfish.

This leads us to the following: Turbo had a mental breakdown during his years of isolation, mainly because he was unable to race; this is why he laughs and giggles no matter the mood he's in as King Candy. It's a form of tic.

This might be a bit OOC? But whatever. Hilariously enough King Candy is a somewhat decent(take that with a grain of salt, I'll elaborate in a moment) fatherly figure: he treats the SR racers like they're his adopted kids. I say somewhat decent because of course he completely excludes Vanellope and because he picks favourites; Taffyta, Rancis and Candlehead are his golden children and because of that, he's sometimes willing to swallow his pride and let them cross the finish line before him.

Taffyta is VERY competitive and sometimes will get unreasonably aggressive to win and that's something KC admires in her because it reminds him so much of himself and the bond he used to have with the Twins, especially when competing. Another reason why Taffyta bullies Vanellope is because she knows King Candy dislikes her wish to compete and she feels like this is something that would please him regardless of his approval of it.

Again maybe kind of OOC-ish but I sincerely don't think Turbo outright hates Vanellope herself like. As a person; she has done nothing, but she does pose a threat to blowing his cover and he is not going to allow her. The one thing that bothers him a lot about her is her stubborness to race and always finding a way to weasel into the Random Roster Race. During the tunnel scene where he straight up becomes violent towards her, you can tell she's never seen him this angry to her before; this leads me to believe he never blew up on her before because, regardless of how much of a threat she posed for him; in his mind- he figured she likely would never really be in a situation where she would actually cross the finish line, and she's just a child, so why bother? Of course. That is until she sprints right past him on the race track and the rest is history. (And I have to clarify again I AM NOT justifying his actions; there is no 'justifying' any of it. This is an observation because of the reactions/expressions/etc. seen in the scene.)

Writing that previous hc reminded me of this and I just had to include it because I can SO see this happening 😭 it's hilarious and wholesome in a way.

I saw something about this on @king-crawler 's blog and I feel like I should bring this up bc it rubbed me the wrong way: I donno about you but to me, Turbo programming himself as King of Sugar Rush is not ego thing (not the main reason behind it at least!); it's to avoid suspicion in general within the game because ALL of the SR racers are children. It would be suspicious and really fuckin' weird to have a character programmed as an adult that isn't an NPC/side-character like Sour Bill or the donut cops to just be among them like nothing, regardless if he wipes their memories they (or other candy subjects) will question it. He's not stupid, in the game there's supposed to be a royal figure, no? So, it'd make perfect sense for that figure to be a supposedly 'wise' King that looks after all his subjects and makes sure rules aren't broken. So to me it's less of something done out of selfishness and more of just being able to go by unnoticed, he programmed himself as King to fit in with the whole 'monarchy' concept within SR. At the end of the movie when Vanellope says she doesn't want to be a princess, you get a little glimpse of how much the candy subjects depend and rely on a 'higher figure' to function.

As King Candy, he believes himself to be cute. (adding this side note just in case bc I shit you not this is genuinely something people have argued and mocked me over: don't come at me for this. I have my opinion, you have yours and I'm not going to change it for you; as a fan for a whole decade who has known in tge past other fans, there ARE people that find him cute as I do /gen /lh) He shamelessly indulges in that and he WILL use that as a manipulation tactic to get what he wants- sometimes playing with your emotions as well by tugging at your heart strings and overall painting himself to be a 'frail silly old man' in sn exaggerated manner so you'll give in to whatever he wants- and once you agree suddenly the 'frail' old monarch has an outburst of energy and joy, completely shedding off this fragile-pitiful facade.

Turbo has somehow rescued the Turbo Twins before his game was unplugged and I have evidence to prove this:

He has their codes tucked into his own (bad example I know but kind of like how an opossum mom keeps her joeys in her pouch); he keeps them in a dormant state this way by not allowing them to have separate code boxes of their own. The reasons behind this are simple: he doesn't want two characters that very obviously don't belong in the game to roam around freely, he has enough trouble with Vanellope as it is; and he knows that if he lets them awaken and respawn, they will criticize him for the path he chose to go down- and he doesn't want to deal with that because, for him, it would be pointless and it'd only bring frustration he doesn't need. He would rather keep them as ghosts of the past hidden in his pocket.

Speaking of Vanellope: Turbo is awfully envious of her driving skills, she's the first racer that has bested him on the track. Another selfish reason why he doesn't want her to race- goodness forbid a child beating you at what you're passionate about and arriving in second place.

When overly emotional- be it positive or negative feelings- King Candy would sometimes temporarily glitch back to his original form as Turbo because his code is old, filled to the brim with stuff, it's bound to have a few crack and tears here and there, like an old but still functioning car with a rusty engine; this issue has only accentuated after the glitching-exchange during the tunnel scene.

Speaking of which- because there were little to no censorships in 70's videogames, Turbo bleeds. It's pixelated blood because it cannot be processed through the programming of Sugar Rush since the game was not made to have any graphic themes in it. If one of the racers gets hurt- they quite literally just bleed coding.

Turbo often smokes.

Turbo sometimes gets sick of eating nothing but candy and will send out Sour Bill to get him something salty to eat from another game. He has his own little stack of junk food and other non-sweets within the castle.

He's not just the King of Candy, he's THE LORD OF THE DANCE! (watch at your own risk I warn you /hj)

CURSED JOKES ASIDE I unironically like to think he is a good dancer. Nobody beats him at tap-dancing and The Bus Stop. (He's from the 70's so it'd make sense he's familiar with a lot of funky/disco dance moves)