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#i’m bullshitting heavily here but
cosmictap · 26 days
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Thinking about RQG 176/177 (Last Words) again
which i’m gonna note this: MAG 200 is also called Last Words. There’s probably nothing to that but i like it
but anyway, Zolf and Wilde in those episodes keep getting to me, Wilde, in all his bastard glory, i think genuinely does just want an *actual* proper relationship that isn’t professional, and as for Zolf, well. id go as far to say a rivals/enemies -> friends/ life partners pipeline
But they’re overdone, we all know zolf and wilde, what i’m here to talk about is HOWARD FUCKING CARTER! He genuinely just makes me so upset sometimes, especially in that episode, from what i can remember, it’s pretty clear that he was shut down as a kid, told to shut up when he’s talking ‘too much’ and even (i think) tells Azu to be quiet because he didn’t want her to be in trouble on his behalf????? he devastates me truly i’m in love with him and i think he deserves all the hugs in the world!!
and just. Cel. I don’t have enough words to describe how I feel about them, first off, one of the first just. casual *canonically* queer characters i’ve properly come across in media, not to mention i’m actually in love with lydia nicholas, Sasha was my whole life before she went </3
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seilon · 1 year
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kinda wild how you can have almost every aspect of your life deeply intertwined with someone else for years and then have all of that thrown in your face when that person decides none of it meant anything and, in fact, was toxic and purge-worthy
#hahahaha it’s been a bad day#and I am spiraling and all around not having a good time#I keep looking at the bulletin board in my room that used to make me so happy to look at because of all the good memories on it and the#reminder of there being people who care about me and now it just sorta. does the opposite#most of it just makes me feel. dread.#he’s in almost every picture and 80% of the people in the pictures in general I don’t talk to anymore for one reason or another#mostly people who just drifted away because I’m absolutely terrible at staying in touch with people#like not in a quirky way. like actually actively ruins relationships for no reason level bas#but some of them are people who purposefully don’t talk to me anymore#found out recently about one of these people. it’s someone I’d been friends with for like 15 years. purposefully blocked me#I believe because of whatever bullshit my ex has told her. she never asked me about anything so whatever she knows is#heavily biased and probably warped#because I don’t have anyone advocating for me. lol#even my close friends- the extremely few I have- are ‘neutral’ on it. which. im gonna be honest hurts me quite a bit. I have no one who#truly condemns him for the way he’s handled (lack thereof) all this and bolstered all my trust issues in the process and has made me#constantly critical of my own intentions because I can never trust that what I do or say is manipulative or ‘unhealthy’ anymore and I don’t#think I’m an all around good person on top of that because of my low empathy and all that and etc etc etc. it’s really fucked me up#but yeah anyway. yeah. they’re still on good terms with him more or less (though not as close as I am but that’s partly just due to me being#physically close rather than in another city). and it honestly hurts me that they could actively be centrists here#like I. just. really don’t trust anyone anymore. how the fuck could I#uh. anyway. im not sure if i want to take the board down all together or just take off almost all the photos on it#not sure what’s more depressing#cause they’re both pretty bad lol. almost all my major good memories from the past five years have included my ex so they’re basically all#tainted and unpleasant to look back on now. really just wasted five years of my life for this#another reason I’m constantly contemplating my own intentions these days is because I have a lot of thoughts and urges that I’d never do but#that are. related to purposefully hurting others or myself physically or emotionally or both. like. every part of me wants to deck my ex in#the face but obviously I’d never do that. but even just the compulsion feels like a justification of his narrative/view of me as a person#like haha maybe I am a shitty toxic abusive manipulative bastard. maybe I do just deserve to be alone where I can’t hurt or think about#hurting anyone. it’d definitely be better all-around if I didn’t fucking exist. burden lifted. but you know.#not sure how im like this but also egotistical and self centered but alas here we are. anyway I’ll delete this soon sorry
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heavenblvd · 3 months
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saw this tiktok where a girl jumped out of her bf’s moving car because she was losing an argument, and i’m thinking of that with rafe and fem!reader but with a twist to it <3
✿ ⁺ 🎀‧₊˚🩹⋆ ✩
rafe had hauled you into his truck, slamming the passenger door shut. anger was pumping through him, and he hastily got into the driver’s side, pressing on the gas to drive away from the party.
he was mad at you for not only wearing a short dress, but was mad at the fact men were giving you attention because of it. you knew very well that even if other males were to give you attention or flash you a charming smile, they knew better than to ever approach rafe cameron’s girl.
but for some reason, that knowledge didn’t stick to rafe’s own brain.
“my girl is out here, dressing like a fucking slut!” rafe yelled, and you rolled your eyes, ignoring the complete fact he was going 100MPH over the speed limit.
you would be okay with getting in a car accident at this very moment. maybe he would kick in some conscious or decent common sense into his head.
“want me to dress like i’m fuckin’ amish or something, rafe?” you asked, scoffing. “i get you want control or whatever, but my style is up for me to decide. not my fault you’re insecure.”
rafe’s head immediately snapped in your direction, eyes bulking with rage and madness, like a bomb about to go off. “the fuck did you just tell me?” he asked, mindlessly not paying attention the road in front of him.
“said its a not my fault you’re insecure,” you repeated, grinning happily. “a man who knows what he’s secures with doesn’t fucking trip every minute — all you do is worry, and get mad at the attention people give me.”
“i’ll throw you out this fuckin’ car right now,” he threatened, and you shrugged, picking at your acrylic nails. “leave you on the side of the road for someone else to get you.”
“yeah, hopefully it’s topper or cameron,” you said, bored of rafe’s threats. when you date a guy like him for over a year, doesn’t take much to start yawning and getting tired of his bullshit.
“you’re a whore,” he went on, and you hummed, glad to see he at least had his eyes back on the road. “parading yourself around like some tramp. looks like i’m with a fuckin’ pogue or something.”
“said you’ll throw me out of this car, right?” you wondered, taking off your seatbelt, and rafe eyed you for a hast moment. “i’ll just do the job for you,” you unlocked the passenger door, throwing your stilettos and purse out before you could proceed with them.
rafe reflexively pulled you backwards by the back hemming of your strapless dress, his other hand stern on the wheel. “what the fuck is wrong with you!” he shouted, slamming on his brakes in the middle of the road, and put the car in park. he tugged you back into your seat, and grabbed your jaw roughly, forcing eye contact. “some sorta attention seeker, huh baby? just trying to piss me off more.”
“thought i’d stick to your word for you,” you told him, and he panted heavily, his boiled anger coming visible to you. you only smiled, flashing doe eyes at him while batting your lashes. “can you grab my purse and shoes, then? least you can do, rafe.”
he let go of your jaw, staring at you for a moment with thoughts toppling all in his mind on what to do with you. he got out of the truck, went to grab your stuff, and tossed it down on your lap when he returned.
“you’re some fuckin’ surprise, baby,” rafe said, continuing the drive back to tannyhill. “you’re in for it when we get back home.”
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venting-town · 1 year
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That feel when even in the other/main dimensions the reason you suffer so much is because you love anybody / everybody / somebody / etc than you love yourself at all
#vent#tw vent#vent 1/27/23#tw existential angst#tw existential dread#tw existential bullshit#tw existential crisis#tw simulation#tw alternate reality#tw unreality#tw realities#tw aliens#yes. I’ve been having more telepathic talking/experiences#I remember I had them a lot as a small child. when I was being heavily abused#idk when I stopped experiencing them but I know I am now#I know myself. I’m here because I love them. I don’t love myself. but I don’t want to erase/delete/give any body away#they deserve love too and even if they ‘ don’t ‘/don’t I’ll love them anyways#even at the cost of myself. but some don’t love each other. that’s why they’re seperated light/dark#and I know that light doesn’t equal good and dark doesn’t equal bad.. not inherently those things#but still. my realities are merging again and I’m seeing things/hearing things#tw telepathy#tw voices#also that feeling when no matter what you do if you aren’t a certain way/in a certain place you aren’t good enough for them#STOP ARGUING WITH EACH OTHER!!!! PLEASE STOP JUST LET ME VENT!!!! STOP IT!!!!!#stop it!!!!! just DONT!!! I know you all love ‘ me / me’s ‘ and that’s valid but stop arguing with each other!!!! I know you all want me for#yourselves but I want to live and care about more/all/you!!!! it’s okay that I do so please don’t argue/hurt each other!!! and some of it is#DEFINITELY my fault because I’d stay on one side too long and my love would diminish for the other and I’m so sorry!! that was wrong of me!!#and I broke promises!!! and that’s wrong and I’m still trying to do/be/get better!!!!!#once again others are hurting because of me and my choices/no choices/etc!!! ofc!!! I KNOW that happens to ‘ everybody ‘ at some point but#that’s not what I’m talking about!!! I’m talking about ME!!! NOT me and everybody anybody somebody nobody else!!!!!!!!!!!
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noisynaia · 1 year
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𝑺𝑯𝑨𝑹𝑰𝑵𝑮 𝑰𝑺 𝑪𝑨𝑹𝑰𝑵𝑮
summary: The good old 'oh no, there's only one bed' trope.
pairing: Joel Miller x afab!reader 
word count: 3.8k 
note: Explicit (18+). Vaginal fingering, unprotected P in V, creampie. No use of (y/n). Nightmares. This has not been beta nor proof read and English is not my native language.
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“Can you cut it out?” You sigh at the man who is currently and stubbornly laying on the hard floor next to the bed.    
It had been raining heavily for the entire day, the downpour so heavy that you couldn’t see more than a foot or two in front of you. All three of you were soaked to the bone and freezing. Spirit had been very low in your little travel group. Ellie had not come with her usual jokes and Joel had been even grumpier than usual so stumbling upon the little cabin had been a real stroke of luck. There had even been a dresser with enough dry clothes for all three of you to change into. 
You had given Ellie the couch in the living room since that was with the fireplace, leaving the single bedroom for you and Joel. 
“Just get up here. There’s plenty of space for the both of us.” You continue, cursing him and his damn stubbornness. The bed is not huge, but it will fit two people finely. 
“I’m fine down here. Trust me, I’ve had worse.” He just grumbles.  
You sigh, peeking your head over the edge of the mattress to look down at him. “I know you have a bad back and I need you to be well rested and alert, okay.” He tilts his head to look at you. “We both do…” You add, using Ellie to guilt trip him is maybe a little low, but you know it’s going to work and it is not like what you’re saying isn’t true. 
“Fine.” He finally sighs, as he gets up from the dusty floor, his knees creaking slightly before laying down next to you, but he doesn't get under the cover, instead laying straight on his back on top of the comforter with his arms crossed over his chest and eyes staring straight up at the ceiling.        
You want to tell him to just relax and get under the covers, but you don’t want to push your luck, so you just settle for the small victory of getting him into the bed, and who knows as sad as it makes you, maybe he really finds sleeping next to you more uncomfortable than the floor. 
You try not to dwell on that possibility too much, ashamed of how much that would affect you, so you just get comfortable under the covers instead. Turning to lay on your side, facing away from him as you close your eyes, but sleep doesn’t come to you.    
“Can I ask you something?” You whisper into the silent room, somehow knowing that he hasn’t fallen asleep yet. 
“Sure.” 
“It will never get easier will it? Living in this world… I tell myself that it will, that it is going to hurt less with time but… I’m just kidding myself, aren’t I?”
He doesn’t answer for a long time and you start to think that he may have fallen asleep before he finally breaks the silence. “No, I don’t think it will ever get easier.” A short beat of silence before he continues. “But I guess we can hope.” 
You sigh at his words. You really do hope so. The two of you are quiet again and you think he might have fallen asleep when he finally speaks again.  
 “Thank you.” Joel whispers into the darkness.
“For what?” You turn your head slightly towards him.  
“For tolerating my bullshit I guess.” 
It is the last words exchanged between you before sleep finally creeps up on the both of you. 
You wake up only a few hours into the night by the feeling of Joel’s frantic movements. He is tossing and turning uneasily and uttering incomprehensible muttered words. You turn around to face him, barely capable of making him out in the darkness of the room.
“Joel” You whisper, propping yourself up on your elbow, making you hover over him slightly. 
You watch the distressed look on his face, his eyes shut tight and his brows furrowed. Whispers of some terror make it out of his mouth. Your hand is hovering over his arm, unsure if he would be okay with your touch. But his nightmare seemingly continues. You frown and gently place your hand over his arm, softly rubbing the spot with your thumb.
“Joel.” You speak softly. “Wake up.”
You can feel how his whole body is shaking. He finally opens his eyes, letting out a gasp. His eyes wide and unfocused, clearly terrified of whatever he’d dreamed about, before they lock with yours and his gaze relaxes a little. 
“I’m sorry.” He mutters, his rapid breathing is slowly coming under control. 
“Don’t apologize.” You frown at him, your eyes are now better accustomed to the darkness and you can see his face more clearly. “I get them too.” You confess dropping your head back on the pillow.
“Do you need anything?” You ask, feeling him move slightly on the mattress.
“No.” He sighs, rubbing a hand over his face.
Silence falls over you, the two of you just laying and listening to your own quiet heartbeats. 
“Why don’t you get under the covers?” You finally say, almost a little pleading.
And to your happy surprise he actually does. Joining you under the covers, even though he lays stiff as a board and way closer to the edge of the bed than he needs to. You can live with that, you are just happy that he at least can be a little more comfortable and warm. 
“Joel?”
“Yes?”
“You can talk to me, you know? If you ever need it”
A beat of silence. 
“Yeah… I know darling.” 
Darling. You think your heart skips a beat by the endearing name and you let out a sigh as you finally close your eyes again. “Goodnight Joel” 
“Goodnight.” 
You wake again in the early hours of the morning. It’s a slow ease into consciousness, a much gentler awakening than you normally get to have. Your eyes are still closed, and the only thing you currently perceive is the warm safe feeling of complete comfort, still half asleep, you haven’t registered what contributes to this feeling, how Joel is embracing you in his sleep. 
Comfortably wrapped in a blanket in a soft bed and feeling the heat of someone’s body against you is a luxury you haven't felt in a long time. The comforting feeling of soft human touch makes you melt into it, and crave it from the very marrow of your bones. You stir slightly, letting out a content sigh as you slowly get pulled out of your sleepy daze, and that is when you realize the position you are in.    
Your back is pressed up against Joel’s chest and his strong arm is wrapped around your waist. Your legs are entangled under the covers and his steady warm breath fans over the back of your neck. The two of you must have instinctively reached for each other in your sleep, the presence of a warm comforting body too irresistible, nuzzling you against himself in his sleep.
Your heart skips a beat at the gentle touch, feeling like you are going to cry from the overload of human touch. There is no way you’re gonna be able to part from his embrace without waking him, but maybe you should? Even though you really don’t want to. You feel slightly guilty as you lie and listen to his steady heartbeat
You want to be selfish for a little longer, savoring the warm comfort of Joel’s presence beside you, enjoying how it makes you feel. It feels too damn good after all the years of loneliness and fear. You can’t deny that you are feeling things for Joel. He is an attractive man, there is no doubt there, but there is more to it. The glimpses you have gotten of who he is behind the gruff facade, the man he must once have been, has made you yearn to get to know more of that side of him. The way he always makes sure you and Ellie are feeling safe. The way he over time has softened up a bit. How he sometimes will go along with Ellie’s shenanigans. How he will tell you that he will take the first night shift, but then never wake you so you get to sleep the whole night. You have scolded him for this numerous times, but he still does it whenever he senses that you are just a little more tired than usual. 
You try to ease out of his embrace without waking him, but it only results in him hugging you tighter, pressing you closer towards him as he lets out a dissatisfied grunt like his subconscious wants you close. And it is now, as you are being pressed tighter up against him that you feel it, the press of his hard cock against the curve of  your ass. You let out a little gasp, as a hot shiver travels from your abdomen down to your now throbbing cunt.
You know that it’s just a physical reaction to have a body this close, he didn’t even want to share the bed with you in the first place, but you had insisted on it. As much as you dread having to face him in this position, you really should wake him.   
“Joel.” You whisper, moving your hand over the arm he has around you, gently brushing your fingers over the warm skin, waiting for him to wake. He stirs a little against your touch, but he does not loosen his grip on you. You hold your breath, feeling your pulse throb in your ears as you wait for a reaction. You just hope this won’t make him go back to being as closed off with you as he was in the beginning. You take a deep breath to brace yourself before you turn around in his grip so the two of you are laying face to face. Your movement seems to finally have pulled him out of his sleep. His eyes start to blink slowly as he is pulled out of his slumber, he murmurs your name, voice rough and raspy from sleep and it makes your heart skip a beat. 
His eyes are finally opening to look into yours, the warm umber of his irises is so beautiful, you have never seen them this near. His face is so close. You can see every detail, every crease and he is so damn gorgeous. Your mouth is so close to his, it would be so easy to just lean in and connect your lips in a kiss. You feel Joel’s body stiffening as he realizes the position the two of you are in, and you are scared that he will bolt out of the bed and leave you cold and alone, but he doesn’t. The two of  you are simply laying in silence for a long moment, looking at each other in the dim room, both of you engulfed by the other, but you finally collect enough composure to break the silence between you.
“Good morning.” You whisper into the quiet bedroom. 
“Morning.” His voice is so deep and still rough from sleep. It makes your stomach do a flip. Maybe it is just wishful thinking but you swear that his eyes swift down to your lips for a second. Maybe it’s just time to be brave? You reach your hand up toward his cheek, letting your palm hover about half an inch from his skin. You want him to decide for himself if he is comfortable with your touch. Fortunately, after only a short moment of hesitation, he leans into your hand, exhaling as your palm cups his cheek. You kind of expect him to pull away any minute, but he doesn’t. 
“I haven’t slept this well in a long time.” You confess.  
“Me neither.” You have never heard his voice this soft before and that is when it dawns on you. This is Joel Miller. Not the man that has had to survive in a world with no hope, or the man that has lost everything that made him whole. Right now you are looking into the eyes of the man he once must have been. And maybe right now you’re the woman you were meant to be, the woman you would have been if your future hadn’t been torn away from you by the collapse of the world. There is something magnetic about it. Like the two of you are being pulled together by an invisible force, drawn together in the early morning bliss, both of you learning into earth other. Your lips brush, a ghost of a touch. He shivers but he is  still not pulling away. 
“Can I?” He whispers, his soft breath fanning over your lips. 
“Please.” You manage to croak out, your entire body buzzing with anticipation.  
It is all he needs to hear before he crashes into you, his chapped lips colliding with yours. It has been too long since you have felt the firm pressure of a man’s mouth on yours. You kiss until your lungs start to burn, and you have to pull away to catch your breath. His hand moves down to the hem of your shirt, his fingers ghosting over the warm skin beneath it.    
“Is this okay?” He asks, sounding a little unsure. 
“Yes, Joel.” You assure him. “Kiss me.” You add and he does, sliding his hand under the cotton of your shirt palming the soft skin of your side. You moan into his mouth as his tongue meets yours. You kiss until you no longer know where he starts and you end and you are almost convinced that the two of you have melded into one being.  
“You’re driving me crazy.” He pants out as he finally breaks the kiss. All you can manage is to whimper in response as he moves his lips to your throat, licking and kissing a trail to the side of your neck. His hand slowly slides down from your side to the hem of your pants. 
“Do you want me to stop?” He murmurs into the skin just below your ear, before sitting up just slightly to look into your eyes. 
“No.” You shake your head slightly. “Please don’t stop, Joel.” 
You roll your hips a little, grinding against his strong thigh, needing him to understand how badly you want this. Something flickers in his eyes and he lets out a filthy guttural groan, flipping you over so you're laying under him.    
Your entire body is aflame by his touch, a feral urge for more. More skin, more contact. So you move onto his shirt. The material slightly withered and moth-eaten from the years of being tucked away in a drawer. You pull it off him, revealing his broad upper body. You pause, captivated by the look of him hovering over you. The scars across his skin, the sparse hairs trailing down from his navel to his pants.    
You wonder if he shaking because he’s cold or if he’s really just that eager for your touch. But it doesn’t really matter, either way, you’ll warm him up.
He slides his calloused fingers over the sensitive skin of your thighs, hooking them in the waistband of your panties, looking into your eyes. You nod at him, mouthing a ‘please’, spreading your legs a bit further. It is all he needs, an expression of filthy desire flickers over his face as he pulls your underwear down. Letting out a gasp as your soaked pussy gets exposed in front of him. His fingers slide along the insides of your wet lips. 
“Shit, you’re so wet. All this just for me?” He almost coo.
“Yeah. All for you, Joel.” 
“Wanna feel you come on my fingers.”   
“Fuck, want that too.” You whimper.                
He gives you a smile, dipping his head down to your shoulder, nuzzling his nose against the crook of your neck before kissing the soft skin under your ear. He makes sure to coat his fingers in your wetness before he begins to tease your clit. You let out a little gasp as he starts to draw slow light circles, but it doesn’t take long for him to pick up his pace and add a bit of pressure.
He teases your entrance, making sure to coat his fingers in your slickless before he slips one of his thick fingers into you. Another is soon added and you sigh at the sensation. He slowly pumps into you at first, giving you time to adjust to his digits, but he is soon picking up the pace.  
“That’s right darling.” He mutters against your neck. “Taking my fingers so well.”
He is going fast now, using his middle and index finger to fuck you while the ruff pad of his thumb is pressing on your clit and you can’t help but let out a few pathetic whines. He is hitting a perfect spot, so deep inside of you, and you feel your orgasm approaching, finally falling over the edge when he curls his fingers. 
“That’s right, just like that.” Joel groans as you clench around his fingers, slowing his pace slightly but still  pumping you through your orgasm in a steady rhythm. “Just like that, darling, doing so well.”
He lets you ride out your climax on his fingers until he finally pulls out of you, popping them into his mouth, sucking off your juices with a pleasant moan.    
“Fuck, Joel.” You pant out as you finally come down from your amazing high. 
“Good?” He asks, a sly smile on his lips. 
“Really good.” You ensure him, cupping his cheek with a gentle hand. “Want to make you feel good too.” You whisper, looking deeply into his eyes.
“Fuck, darling. I want to feel you so bad.” He confesses.  
“Want that too. Fuck, want that so bad” You pant, letting your thumb slide over his cheek as you admire his handsome face. And you do want him, but more than that, you need him.
He lifts himself from you to strip off his pants and underwear. Your eyes widen at the view of him. His hard cock springs free, throbbing and thick, laying heavy in his palm as he takes himself in his hand. It still looks huge, even in his big hand, so you can’t even imagine how enormous it will look in your smaller one. He pumps himself a few times before leaning down over you again. He guides his cock to your entrance, looking at you for permission, which you give with an eager nod, before slowly pushing inside you, stretching your pussy to its limits the deeper he goes. You feel so full, like he is splitting you open with his thick girth. You whimper as you take more and more of his cock until he is all the way in. 
“Fuck darling, you’re so warm, so fucking tight around me.” He groans before leaving a firm kiss on your lips. The two of you are laying like this for a little while, letting you adjust to his size until you can’t take it anymore. 
“Move.” Your voice is low and rasped. “Please.”   
With that, he lifts your legs, making you cross them around his lower torso as he pulls out of you, achingly slow until only the head of his cock is still inside of you before inserting all of it again in one fluid motion. You let out a gasp of pleasure. 
He starts out with a slow rhythmical pace. He is giving you sweet praise at first, then progressively dirtier, more lustful comments as he loses himself more and more, his thrusts getting faster and more desperate. He lets out a throaty groan as your hands grab his hair. The way he is now pounding his cock into you, deep and purposefully, makes you cry out in pleasure, your ears filling with his growls and moans. 
“Feeling so so good…” He says his eyes clenched tightly shut as he keeps thrusting into you with a savage speed. “I knew you would feel good, but damn.” He groans through gritted teeth. Joel is now moving with an urgency that has you seeing stars and you let out a cry of pleasure. 
“Shhh.” He murmurs, pressing a kiss to your lips to quiet you.  Ellie is, unlike you and Joel, a deep sleeper, but you would both be mortified if she heard the two of you, not wanting to traumatize the poor girl. 
“You are taking me so well.” He encourages. “So fucking good.” 
Your arms are desperately clinging to his back. His balls are hitting your skin and his cock is pounding into your soaked pussy, making a filthy squelching noise hit your ears. 
The pressure is beginning to build up in your lower stomach, the feeling is making your head go dizzy. He is bringing you closer and closer with every strong thrust of his cock.
“I-fuck… I'm close.” You babble. 
The knot in your stomach tightens and tightens until it all explodes inside you. Your walls clench down around him, sucking him in. You desperately cling to him as your climax washes over you, hands on his neck as you guide his mouth down to yours, you need him to kiss you through this. Your breasts are being squeezed against his chest, the feeling of his skin against your sensitive nipples makes you moan into his mouth.  
You whine out as you feel the warmth of his release filling you up. 
“Shit, shit, shit.” He detaches from your mouth. The panic from cumming inside you is clear on his face. He pulls out, some of his load landing on your stomach, but most of it still inside of you, the sudden empty feeling makes you let out a little whine. 
“Shit, I am so sorry, I shouldn’t have—” 
You know that he is right, he really shouldn’t have done it, but you can’t get mad at him you had been just as caught up in the feeling of him as he had been in you. You finished your cycle only a couple of days ago so you should hopefully be okay. 
You cup his cheek, planting a soft kiss on his lips. “I think we should be okay, just don’t make a habit of it.” You grin at him. 
He visibly relaxes at your words “I’ll make sure to pull out next time.” He assures you and your stomach flutters. Next time. You smile at his words.   
“How do you feel?” He asks. 
“Good.” You laugh lightly, pressing a chaste kiss to the corner of his mouth. “I liked seeing this side of you.”
He sighs as he pulls you close. His chest vibrates against you as he speaks. “You’re going to be the death of me, aren’t you?” 
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en-dazedafterdark · 10 months
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meddle about (with me)
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READ PART 1 HERE
PAIRINGS: ex! heeseung x reader x fwb! sunghoon (but this is very very heavily sunghoon focused, heeseung is barely in it lol)
GENRE: smut, porn with plot, angst, attempted fluff
SYNOPSIS: sleeping with your ex is complicated enough without having to deal with your growing feelings for your friends with benefits
WARNINGS: protected sex (for once) but also unprotected sex (stay safe!), oral (m receiving), shower sex, mentions of alcohol and drinking, this switches povs so many times you may get whiplash but i also wanted to get in sunghoon’s head for this one, i still don’t know how to do warnings
WORD COUNT: 11.9k
A/N: likes, reblogs and any interactions are appreciated <3 i’m not super happy with how this turned out cause i overthought it a lot but let me know if you guys like it!
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Sunghoon wasn’t usually the type to be so self destructive. He liked to keep things in perspective, to know when it was time to move on and to know when to take a step back. He always prided himself on being the kind of person that was in control, that could push his feelings aside when he needed to. He always thought he was better than this.
So how the fuck did he end up in this position?
He hadn't meant for it to happen. He knew he should have backed off the moment he had woken up next to you for the first time, knew that it had been a bad idea from the start. You were already dealing with enough and he knew it wasn't right, knew that he shouldn't do this to you.
But then he woke up and your lips were still on his mind. You were still there in his arms, your hair tickling his skin and the scent of your perfume in his nose. You were still so close that he could feel your heart beating next to his, could hear your breath when you let out a small sigh. It made him so fucking happy that he thought he might lose his mind.
He was an idiot. He knew that. He had known this was wrong, known that this would never end well. You were his best friends ex and he had no right to get involved with you. Bro code and all that bullshit.
“You're a fucking idiot Hoon," Sunghoon whispered. He leaned back on his palms, his eyes trained on you as he looked down at your face. Your hair was still messy, your eyes still puffy as you slept. Your lips were parted and your skin was flushed.
He let out a groan, knowing that this had been a terrible idea.
You stirred slightly, making him suck in a deep breath. You moved your head, letting out a small whimper and he bit his lip to keep himself from groaning.
You were so beautiful that it made him ache. 
“Heard you’ve been spending a lot of time with Y/N lately.” Heeseung had said that night at the bar, right before you had sauntered in with your friends as if you were summoned by their words. Heeseung had taken a long drink, his eyes burning into him.
He had laughed, trying to play it off as he could feel Heeseung glaring at him. He knew he couldn't tell him exactly how much time you spent together - or worse, what you did when you did spend time together. 
“Yeah, she and I are friends. Why do you care so much about her anyways? You broke up with her.”
Heeseung shrugged. "Doesn't mean I don't worry about her."
Sunghoon had looked at Heeseung then, his brow furrowing as he tried to understand what was going through his head. He wasn't sure what to make of it, wasn't sure why Heeseung had said it.
"Just be careful with her," Heeseung said, putting his beer down. "She's going through a lot."
Sunghoon had scoffed, shaking his head. "You're telling me that?"
Heeseung's jaw had ticked, but he said nothing more. Sunghoon wasn't stupid. He knew Heeseung well enough to know when something was wrong, knew that there was something in his best friend's mind that he didn't understand.
“Why did you break up with her if you care about her so much? You treated her like shit Heeseung. You left her without so much as a word. What the fuck did she ever do to you?"
"You don't understand-"
"No," Sunghoon interrupted. "I don't."
Heeseung's face had gone dark. "We're done talking about this."
That was when Sunghoon noticed you. You had been with your friends, all of you laughing loudly and sharing drinks with other people. You were so pretty that Sunghoon couldn't take his eyes off you. You wore a skirt, your long legs on full display as you laughed.
Heeseung had looked at him and Sunghoon had seen the jealousy on his face. He had wanted to laugh, knowing how fucked up the situation was.
"She looks good," Sunghoon said, still staring at you. "Doesn't she?"
Heeseung had cleared his throat. "I'm gonna head home."
"So early? Come on, stay."
Heeseung shook his head. "I'm tired."
"You sure you're not just running away from Y/N?"
Heeseung had glared at him. "I'm not running from anything. I'll see you tomorrow."
He had gotten up and left, leaving Sunghoon alone in the bar. Sunghoon took another gulp of his drink, not noticing the way you had disappeared from the bar before Heeseung had left. 
He didn’t know if he regretted following Heeseung out of the bar or not. He had just wanted to talk to him, to understand what the fuck was going on. 
He really was not expecting to see Heeseung with you, to see him kissing you or to hear your quiet moans.
Sunghoon was jealous. It was a strange feeling for him and he wasn't sure he liked it. He had never wanted anyone the way he wanted Heeseung and when he saw him kissing you he knew he had to have you too. So when Heeseung had offered to share you with him - of course he said yes.
He wasn't stupid enough to think this was going to end well. He knew you still had feelings for Heeseung, knew that you still cared for him. He couldn't even begin to imagine how you felt after Heeseung had left you and how fucked up everything had gotten between the three of you.
But fuck, did you feel good.
Sunghoon leaned forward, watching you stir again. You let out a groan, moving your head. He reached out, pushing your hair out of your face. You opened your eyes slowly, blinking up at him as if you didn't know where you were.
"Hi," Sunghoon whispered.
You whimpered, closing your eyes. You took a deep breath before your eyes opened again. You blinked at him, your eyes softening.
"How are you?" he asked.
"Sleepy," you whispered.
Sunghoon smiled. "It's still early."
You turned your head, looking over at the clock. It was only a few minutes after six in the morning. You rolled back onto your back, staring up at him. Sunghoon ran his fingers down your arm, staring at you.
"How do you feel?" he whispered.
You let out a sigh. "Tired. A bit sore."
"Good or bad sore?"
You bit your lip. "Good."
Sunghoon nodded, his lips curling into a smile. "You were really loud last night."
You blushed, covering your face with your hands. "I'm sorry."
"Don't be," he said. "I like it."
"Stop," you whispered.
"I can't help it," he said. "You just sound so good."
"Stop," you whined in embarrassment.
He laughed, pushing your hands away from your face. "It's the truth."
You whined, hiding your face with a pillow. You turned on your side, hiding yourself from him. You were still blushing and Sunghoon was trying his hardest not to smile as he stared at you.
"Do you want me to get you something to eat?" he asked. "I can make you some food if you want. Or do you want me to run you a bath? You can soak for a while and then I'll make you something to eat."
"I don't want to move," you murmured into the pillow.
"Okay," Sunghoon said. "I'll get you some water. Maybe a few Advil for your headache too."
“How did you know I have a headache?”
He leaned down, kissing the back of your neck. He placed another kiss on your shoulder as you shivered.
"Just a guess." moo omg im sorry idk what this was
You pushed your hands into the pillow, trying to get yourself under control. You could feel his lips on your skin, feel the way his fingers were dragging along your spine as he kissed you. He reached the nape of your neck, placing a kiss on your skin.
"What are you doing?" you whispered, pushing back against him.
Sunghoon nipped your earlobe, letting out a quiet groan. "I want to take care of you."
You swallowed hard, closing your eyes. You didn't know what to do, didn't know what to say as he kissed the nape of your neck. You were still exhausted and still in a little bit of pain from last night, but fuck if it didn't make you wet.
"I'm so tired," you said.
"Then I'll stop," he said, placing a kiss on your skin. "I don't want you to think I'm trying to force you into something you don't want."
"You're not."
"I'm not?" He pushed back, letting you roll onto your back. You stared up at him, your eyes wide as he looked down at you.
"I mean..." you licked your lips. "I didn't say I didn't want you."
"But you're tired?"
You nodded. "I feel like I can't keep my eyes open."
“Then let me do everything," he said, leaning down and kissing your forehead. He grabbed your hands, placing a kiss on each palm before he placed them over your head. "I'll take care of you."
You stared up at him, letting him kiss your skin as he did so. You closed your eyes, trying to keep yourself from pushing your hips up as you felt yourself getting wet.
"You're so pretty," he said. "It makes me crazy."
"Hoon-"
"Just let me touch you," he whispered, trailing his lips down your skin.
You bit your lip, nodding. "Okay."
Sunghoon let out a low groan, placing another kiss on the skin of your neck before he placed another on the base of your throat. He continued to trail his lips along your skin, making you squirm as he moved down your chest. You kept your hands where he had put them, moaning quietly when he placed a kiss on your nipples.
"Hoon-"
He smirked, kissing your breasts as he nipped your skin. You groaned, arching your back as he wrapped his mouth around one of your nipples, his fingers circling around the other.
You moaned again, unable to stop yourself as he licked your nipples and squeezed your breasts. You gasped, your hands gripping the sheets tightly as Sunghoon continued to kiss your skin.
You whined, gasping out when he began to kiss your stomach. He kissed you slowly, leaving you panting. He placed his hands on your hips, holding them tightly as he kissed down your bellybutton. You whimpered, watching him as he kissed your hipbones.
"You're so pretty," he murmured. "You're so fucking beautiful."
You bit your lip, letting out a small groan. You covered your face, feeling embarrassed from his compliments.
Sunghoon smirked, leaning back up. You opened your eyes, looking up at him as he grabbed your wrists.
"I want to see your face."
You looked up at him obediently, letting him place kisses on your wrists and your palms. You stared up at him, letting him pull your arms from your face. He placed a kiss on your forehead and then another on your eyelids.
He leaned down, kissing you softly, his lips molding to yours. You kissed him back, moaning quietly as he licked your lips. You parted them, letting his tongue lick yours and you reached up, wrapping your arms around his neck. He moved his hips, grinding his crotch against you as you kissed him. You gasped into his mouth, opening your eyes.
He stared down at you, his eyes dark. "I can stop if you want."
"Don't you dare."
Sunghoon grinned, leaning down and kissing you again. You moaned into his mouth, pushing your hips up against his. You were still sore, but you didn't care.
You let Sunghoon pull your arms over your head, holding you in place as he kissed you. He rolled his hips again, moaning quietly as you kissed him. You could feel his cock, hard in his boxers as he moved on top of you.
"Please-" you whispered, unable to hold back any longer. "I need you."
He groaned, trailing kisses down your neck as he grinded against you. "You'll get me. I'm not going anywhere."
You shook your head, rolling your hips. You wanted more, wanted all of him as you kissed him again. You felt him place his hand between your legs and you spread them, whining as he pressed against your pussy.
You had been wet since you woke up, but he was making it worse. He rubbed his finger against your pussy, letting out a groan. He kissed your neck again, his hips rolling against you as you pushed against him.
You were already so sensitive from last night, but it didn't matter. You were so turned on that you couldn't stand it anymore. You wanted to come, wanted to come so badly that you would probably be able to pass out.
Sunghoon pressed his finger against your clit and you gasped, crying out quietly. You spread your legs wider, wrapping them around his waist as he kept you pinned down.
You rolled your hips, wanting more as you panted. Sunghoon was moving his fingers over you slowly, making you moan out as you moved your hips. You were already so worked up and you felt like you could come any second.
He rubbed a bit harder, making you whine. You were so close, so close that you couldn't stand it anymore. You opened your eyes, looking at him as he stared down at you.
"Stop teasing me," you moaned, clamping down on his fingers with your thighs. "Fuck me, please."
He bit his lip, staring down at you. He let go of your arms, pulling his boxers off. You watched him as he grabbed a condom out of your bedside table. He placed it over his cock, leaning down and kissing you. You opened your mouth, letting him kiss you as he moved against you again. You pushed your hips up, feeling him press against your entrance. You reached up, running your fingers through his hair as he pressed into you.
He groaned, pushing into you slowly. You wrapped your legs around him, gasping as he filled you up. He felt bigger than last night, stretching you out and you were already so worked up that you felt like you could come with a single thrust.
You moaned, feeling him spread you wide. He pulled back, thrusting into you again and you squeezed your eyes shut, gasping. You arched your back, wrapping your arms around him. He kissed your neck, moving slowly and you whimpered as he picked up speed.
He groaned, grinding against you and you opened your eyes, looking up at him. He was staring at you, watching you as he moved. You were so worked up that you couldn't keep your eyes open, your breath hitching in your throat. He squeezed your ass, pushing into you harder and you cried out, digging your nails into his skin.
"You're so good," he murmured, kissing you again. "So tight and so fucking beautiful."
"Oh god-"
Sunghoon let out a moan, burying his face in your neck as you moved your hips up to meet him. He moved his hands up your body, gripping your waist tightly as he thrust into you.
You wrapped your legs around his waist, pulling him close to you. You rolled your hips along with his, feeling him spread you wider as he moved his hips. You could hear his breath on your neck, feel the way his hair was tickling your face as he groaned.
He felt so good, moving slowly as you moved with him. He grabbed your thigh, moving it to his shoulder. You were completely spread for him now and he leaned down, placing a kiss on your thigh as you moaned.
"So fucking gorgeous," he murmured against your skin.
You clenched around him, feeling him press against your G-spot as he thrust into you. He moved so slowly, his fingers digging into your skin. You felt so close, so close to coming and he knew it too. He kept pressing against that spot, making your thighs shake.
He kissed you, swallowing your moans. You moved your hands down his back, digging your nails into his back as you approached your high. You were so close that you didn't want to move, didn't want to do anything but keep him inside of you.
Sunghoon leaned down, kissing your shoulder as he kept thrusting into you. He was moaning softly into your ear, groaning as you clenched around him. He picked up the pace, moving faster and you cried out, squeezing your eyes shut as he fucked you.
"Come on," he murmured in your ear. "Come for me."
"Hoon-" you whined, biting your lip. You felt the tears spring into your eyes, felt your chest start to tighten. "I'm going to come."
"Good girl," he whispered in your ear. "Do it. I want you to come all over my cock."
"Oh my god," you whispered, covering your face with your hands. His words were enough to push you over the edge. You opened your mouth, crying out as you came all over his cock. You felt him move faster, fucking you through your orgasm.
He groaned, thrusting into you a few more times before he stilled inside of you. You let out a quiet whimper, letting him take your arms off his back and move you into his arms. He held you close, kissing your face and neck as you came down from your high. You wrapped your arms around him, burying your face in his neck as he placed a kiss on your head.
You slowly untangled your legs from around him, whining as you felt his cock slide out of you. Sunghoon pressed a kiss on your cheek, letting go of your waist and you slowly opened your eyes, looking up at him.
He was smiling down at you and you could feel your face start to burn.
"What?" you whispered.
"Nothing," he said.
You frowned at him, watching as he pulled the condom off and threw it into the waste bin. You sat up slowly, feeling your body ache as you did so. You bit your lip, watching him as he grabbed some tissues to clean himself off.
You leaned back on your elbows, watching him. You wanted to say something, wanted to ask him why he had been smiling, but you couldn't find the words.
You didn't know what you were feeling right now.
You felt good, of course. You had just had sex with someone and it had been amazing. But there was still this tight feeling in your chest that you didn't understand.
A feeling of guilt, maybe.
You had told yourself that you would be okay with this, that this was all just no strings attached. But as you stared at Sunghoon, as you looked at his smile as he leaned down and kissed you, you knew you were wrong.
The lines between no strings attached and real strings attached were blurrier than you thought.
"I think you should leave."
Sunghoon looked up, his smile slipping off his face. "What?"
"I think you should go," you said. You pulled the blanket up higher, looking away from him.
"What?" Sunghoon repeated.
"I'm tired," you said. "I just want to sleep now."
Sunghoon watched you for a moment, before he let out a sigh. "Okay."
He pulled on some clothes, staring at you as you lay in bed. He grabbed his keys, his wallet, and his phone before he left, closing the door behind him. You let out a shaky breath, rolling over onto your back.
This was for the better. Waking up together, showering together, eating together… that wasn’t what you both had signed up for. What you wanted wasn’t a relationship. What you wanted was a distraction.
That was it.
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It became easy to pretend that what had happened between the three of you never happened. It was like Heeseung had never come back into your life at all. 
For days afterwards you had waited for a text, a call, anything to come from Heeseung but nothing ever came. There was no explanation, no apology, nothing.
You should have been angry. You should have been furious. Instead, you felt sad. You didn't know why you were sad, but you felt so empty. You were trying to go about your day to day business, trying to convince yourself that everything was fine when you knew it wasn't.
Sunghoon avoided the topic as well. You were both trying to pretend that nothing had happened, but you knew that Sunghoon was lying when he said it was okay. He wasn't okay, and neither were you.
It was obvious to you that Sunghoon’s feelings had started to change. 
What was just casual sex became more as he asked you to hang out with him more. He always had something to do with you, whether it was just hanging out in his room or going to the store for some ice cream. He was always touching you, whether it be a hand on the back or a kiss on the cheek.
He even started to sleep over more. You had both agreed to sleep with each other whenever you wanted to, and at first you thought that was what it was, but you soon found out that Sunghoon started to spend the night more often than not.
He would text you good morning and good night. He would ask you if he could see you the next day and you would tell him that you couldn't because you were busy. You knew he knew you were lying.
You were scared. You knew that sooner or later you were going to have to address the fact that he was starting to have feelings for you, and you knew you couldn't handle it. You didn't want to hurt him or yourself, so you kept it bottled up.
So you dealt with it by pushing him away. 
“What are you doing this weekend?"
"Nothing."
"Wanna come to my place? We can watch a movie or something?"
"I can't."
It was always the same answers. You knew that Sunghoon didn't believe that you were busy when in reality, you were just too scared to see him. He seemed hurt, but he never said anything about it. You were thankful for that, but at the same time you hated yourself for pushing him away.
It didn’t really help that your first instinct whenever you were drunk or lonely (or both at the same time, more often than not) was to text Sunghoon.
And Sunghoon was there for you every time.
He came running whenever you called, eager to hold you and kiss you and please you in any way that he could. You hated yourself for being so desperate for attention that you would go to him over and over again, and he always accepted you.
It wasn't enough for you.
You needed to forget about Heeseung. Sunghoon was the next best thing.
The only problem with this was that Sunghoon was also a distraction for you. Every time you were alone, you could feel your thoughts drift to him. It made it hard for you to concentrate on anything else when you knew he was around.
It had gotten so bad that you couldn't go a day without seeing Sunghoon, and it was driving you insane.
You thought you were over it. You thought that you once you were able to forget about Heeseung and his smile and his perfect hair and his perfect lips and his perfect hands and his perfect body and-
You took a deep breath, pinching the bridge of your nose as you leaned against the wall. You had been home for two hours now and you couldn't stand being there any longer. You were too anxious.
So you did what you always did: called Sunghoon.
He picked up right away. "Hey. What's up?"
"I want to come over."
"Right now?"
"Yeah."
"Okay," he said, sounding confused. "Give me ten minutes and I'll come get you."
"Thanks."
You hung up the phone, leaning against the wall again. You ran your hands down your face, closing your eyes. You took a few deep breaths to calm yourself down before you went to your room and changed.
You got out your keys, holding onto them as you waited for Sunghoon to pick you up. He knocked on the door ten minutes later. You opened it, stepping outside and he gave you a smile.
"I'll drive," he said.
You didn't argue. You got into his car, letting him pull away from the curb.
"What's the rush?" he asked. "You were really urgent over the phone."
You hesitated. "I just didn't want to stay home any longer."
He didn't say anything else. He just looked at you, his eyes scanning your face as you watched the road.
"Are you okay?" he asked quietly.
You swallowed, nodding your head. "Yeah. Just tired."
He seemed to accept this, and you both fell silent. The ride back to his apartment was the same as usual. He reached over and put his hand on your knee, rubbing his thumb over the skin as he drove. He didn't say anything when you placed your hand on his and squeezed, letting out a quiet sigh as you did so.
You felt better, but at the same time you felt guilty.
You shouldn't be here with Sunghoon. You shouldn't be with him because you knew you were going to break his heart.
But you couldn't stay at home, and you had nowhere else to go.
He parked his car in the driveway, getting out and opening your door. He held his hand out for you, and you placed your hand in his. He walked you up to his apartment, unlocking the door and opening it for you.
Sunghoon closed it behind you, looking down at you. "You want anything to eat or drink?"
You shook your head. "No, I'm good."
Sunghoon nodded. He turned to you, opening his arms in invitation and you moved as if on autopilot. You wrapped your arms around him, closing your eyes and just breathing him in.
You stayed like that for a while, just holding each other as you stood in the doorway. You could hear the sound of the television in the background, but it wasn't too loud. It was quiet, and Sunghoon's arms were so warm.
He was always so warm.
You pulled away after a while, smiling up at him.
"Come on," he said, grabbing your hand. "I'll put on a movie."
You sat down on the couch as Sunghoon sat down beside you. He handed you the remote as he opened a beer, putting his feet up on the table. You picked something to watch, watching him as he sipped his beer.
He caught you looking at him and he smiled, raising an eyebrow. "What?"
"Nothing," you said, shaking your head. "I was just thinking."
"Thinking about what?"
You opened your mouth to answer, but nothing came out. What were you supposed to say? That you were thinking about him and how he was always so sweet and kind and patient with you? You felt like that was crossing a line.
"I was just thinking that I like this," you said, gesturing to the TV. "I like hanging out with you."
"Me too," Sunghoon said, looking at you. “We haven’t really done this very often lately."
You felt guilt rise up in your chest. You couldn't remember the last time you had come over here.
"I've just been really busy," you said, avoiding his gaze. 
“But not too busy for sex huh?” he said, shaking his head. He reached down, pulling up your leg so he could rub his hands up and down your thigh.
You winced. You knew he wasn't mad, but he did sound hurt. You reached forward and took his hand, moving it so he was holding your hand. You linked your fingers with his, squeezing it.
"I'm sorry," you whispered, looking up at him. "I'm being selfish."
Sunghoon shook his head, squeezing your hand back. "It's fine."
"I'm sorry," you repeated, squeezing his hand again.
He let out a sigh, dropping his head down so it was resting on yours. "What are you sorry about?"
"I don't know," you said, watching your fingers intertwined with his. "I'm sorry about all the times that I'm rude to you."
"You're not rude," he said, and he lifted his head up, leaning forward and kissing your forehead. He pulled away, pressing a kiss to your nose and then your cheek before he kissed your lips.
You kissed him back, letting go of his hand as you moved closer to him. He wrapped an arm around you, kissing you deeper. He licked into your mouth, sighing against your lips as you put your hand on his chest, feeling the thump of his heart against your palm.
He pulled away, resting his forehead against yours. He closed his eyes, taking a deep breath as you slid your hand up to cup the side of his neck.
"I should stop doing this," you whispered, opening your eyes.
He opened his eyes as well, tilting his head so he was looking at you.
"Doing what?"
You opened your mouth, before closing it. "Kissing you."
"Why?"
"Because it's not fair to you."
"It doesn't feel fair that you only want to kiss me when you're drunk or lonely or upset," he said.
You couldn't say anything. He was right. You leaned forward, resting your face in the crook of his neck. You felt Sunghoon's arms wrap around you, pulling you onto his lap.
“But you always come back to me," he whispered, rubbing your back. "That means something, doesn't it?"
"No strings attached," you said quietly.
"Is that all it was?" he asked. "Nothing more than you just using me to forget about him?"
You lifted your head up, looking at him. "I- I-"
You didn't know what you were going to say. You couldn't tell him that he was right and you had only used him as a way to get over Heeseung because you knew he wouldn't want to hear that.
He seemed to understand that, anyway.
"Look, it's fine," he said. He dropped his hand down your back, squeezing your ass. "You can use me however you need."
You swallowed, trying to calm down your breathing. He was still holding you tightly, but his expression had softened. You bit your lip, leaning forward and kissing his neck.
Sunghoon let out a groan, and he ran his hands up your back. He cupped your face, kissing you and you moved your hips, grinding down on his lap. He groaned again, opening his mouth as your tongues slid against each other.
You pulled away from him, sitting back. You moved so your knees were on either side of his thighs, pushing him back so he was lying down.
He put his hands on your hips, watching as you slid off the couch. You stepped towards him on your knees, undoing his belt as he looked up at you. You pushed his jeans down to his ankles before you stopped, kneeling down and pulling them off his feet. He watched you the entire time, lifting his legs up and kicking his jeans away as you did so.
You stared up at him, your eyes roaming down his body. You placed your hand on his thigh, squeezing the flesh between your fingers as you licked your lips. You could see the outline of his dick in his underwear, and it was already so hard.
You slid your hand up, moving closer to him as you stared into his eyes. You looked down, watching as you rubbed him over his underwear. His dick twitched, and Sunghoon let out a breath.
"Can I blow you?"
"Fuck," Sunghoon groaned, throwing his head back as he tangled his hand in your hair. "Yeah. You don’t have to ask me that.”
You smiled, sliding your hand down his underwear. You pulled out his dick, looking up at him again. You licked your lips, before you leaned forward, licking the tip of his dick. You sucked the tip into your mouth, swirling your tongue around it.
You heard him groan, and you slid him deeper into your mouth. He wasn't huge, but he wasn't small either. You ran your tongue along the underside as you slowly moved your head, letting your saliva drip down his dick. You could feel the veins against your tongue as you slid him out, opening your mouth wide so you could suck him in.
You bobbed your head on his dick, moving your head faster as you started to feel it throb in your mouth. You moaned around him, letting your saliva drip onto his balls. You looked up at him through your lashes and he bit back a loud groan at the sight. He put his hands back in your hair, tugging it back gently.
"You're so good," he breathed out, thrusting his hips upwards. You choked around him but you didn’t back down. You took him deeper, letting him fuck into your mouth.
He moaned as he looked down at you, letting his eyes rake over your body. "You look so fucking pretty like that."
You moaned in response, squeezing his thighs. He let out another loud groan as his dick twitched in your mouth.
You moved your head faster, looking up at him as you sucked his dick. He groaned, moving his hands to your shoulders.
"Fuck," he grunted, thrusting into your mouth again. "I'm gonna cum," he warned, and you moaned to let him know it was okay.
You moved faster, hollowing your cheeks as you sucked his dick. You could hear the obscene sounds of his dick in your mouth and you moved your hands down to his balls, massaging them. You could feel them tighten, and then you heard Sunghoon moan once more as he thrust one last time into your mouth.
You didn't have time to move away before he shot his cum down your throat, and you almost choked in surprise. You swallowed quickly, trying not to gag as he continued to shoot into your mouth.
"Fuck," he groaned, rubbing your shoulder. "Sorry."
You pulled away from his dick, opening your mouth to show him. He looked down at you, watching as you swallowed again before he looked up at you with hooded eyes.
"Good girl," he breathed out, pushing his fingers through your hair.
You smiled up at him, reaching up to wipe your mouth with the back of your hand. He looked at your hand before he reached forward, pulling you up. He sat you on his lap, wrapping his arms around you.
"You were so good," he whispered, and he placed his hand on your face, rubbing his thumb over your cheek. He leaned forward, kissing you and you kissed him back.
You sighed, wrapping your arms around his neck. You pressed yourself closer to him, closing your eyes and enjoying the feeling of his warm lips on yours.
He pulled away, resting his forehead against yours as he smiled at you. "How about that movie?"
"Yeah," you nodded, sitting back. You watched him as he got up, reaching for the remote on the table. He pressed play on the movie, turning back to you and sitting down beside you again.
He wrapped his arm around you, pulling you close as he turned his attention to the movie that was still playing on the screen. He pressed his lips to your temple and you closed your eyes, letting out a small sigh.
You let yourself relax against him, enjoying his warmth as you pressed a kiss to his shoulder. Sunghoon looked down at you, raising his eyebrows as he looked back up at the TV.
You fell asleep before the movie was even halfway over.
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“Hey, are you busy this afternoon?"
You looked up at Sunghoon, raising an eyebrow.
"For what?" you asked.
He grinned at you, shaking his head. "For anything."
"I have to go grocery shopping later," you said, pursing your lips. "But that's it."
He nodded, still smiling at you.
You gave him a curious look, tilting your head to the side.
"What is it?" you asked.
"Can we go somewhere?" he asked.
"Like where?"
"Like a date," he said, his grin growing. "A proper date. A real one."
You blinked at him, trying to make sense of what he was saying.
"Like a real date?" you asked. "Like...a first date?"
Sunghoon laughed. "Yes. Like a first date."
You didn't know how to answer. You stared at him for a while before you looked down. You could feel your heart start to race and you were sure that he could see it beating under your shirt.
"What do you say?" Sunghoon asked, squeezing your knee. "Is that a yes?"
"Yes," you said immediately.
He grinned at you, rubbing your knee again. "Let's go to lunch and then we'll do something. How does that sound?"
"Okay," you breathed out, still trying to get used to the idea of having a real date with him.
Sunghoon grinned again, leaning forward and kissing your cheek.
"Perfect."
You got ready before he picked you up, and you found yourself actually being excited about this date. You wanted to let your worries go for the day and just spend time with him.
You were excited. You wanted to go on a date with Sunghoon, you really did. But your mood shifted as soon as you saw the text that appeared on your phone, minutes before Sunghoon was supposed to pick you up. 
Heeseung: I need to talk to you.
Heeseung: can we meet?
You barely hesitated before you replied. 
You: where?
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You felt nauseous as you stood outside the café. You tried to look for him, but there were a lot of people there. You could see the tables inside, but you couldn't see Heeseung.
You didn't want to do this. You were going to walk away.
You felt your phone buzz in your hand, and you looked down at it. You had a message.
 Heeseung: I'm at the table outside.
You looked around, finally finding him. He was sitting at a table outside, looking through the menu as he waited.
You could feel yourself get nervous as you made your way over, and you didn't know what to do. You didn't know what you were going to say.
You took a deep breath as you sat down across from him, placing your phone down on the table.
He looked up from the menu, meeting your eyes as he smiled softly. "Hey."
"Hi."
You fidgeted, staring at the table.
"I wanted to apologize," he said, breaking the silence. "For what I did to you. For everything I put you through. You deserved better than that."
You said nothing.
"I just wanted to apologize and tell you that you don't have to worry about me anymore," he said. "I'm not going to come near you or bother you again."
You felt yourself calm down a bit, and you looked up at him.
"You’re really an asshole, Lee Heeseung."
He laughed, shaking his head. "I know."
You stared at each other for a while, not saying anything. You couldn't figure out why you were there, but you didn't want to leave.
"Why are you doing this?" you asked, sighing.
He shrugged. "I just...I just feel like I need to say it."
You stayed silent, pursing your lips.
“And truthfully… I don’t think I can face Sunghoon again if I don’t say this.”
You frowned at that. Why couldn't he face Sunghoon again?
"What do you mean?"
He stared at you, before looking down at his lap. He shook his head.
“Hoon would kill me if I ever hurt you again. And he'd be right to. So I'm just trying to make sure that I don't."
"Hurt me again? Or be killed by Sunghoon?
"Both I guess," he muttered, rubbing the back of his neck.
You stared at him for a moment before you started laughing.
"What?"
You shook your head, still laughing.
"Hoon wouldn't kill you. He’s too soft."
"You think?" Heeseung said, and you could see the hint of a smile on his lips. "I think he would."
"How come?”
He shrugged. "Because he loves you."
You stared at him for a moment, not knowing how to respond.
"Why are you telling me this?"
He looked down at the table, running his fingers over the edge of it.
"I want you to know the truth. I want you to know how I feel," he said. "And I want you to know that I don't want you to come back."
"Excuse me?" you said, and your voice was much harsher than you intended it to be.
"I mean," Heeseung said quickly. "I want you to move on and I don't want to drag you down."
"That's rich, coming from you," you muttered, looking away from him. "Especially since you're the reason I feel so depressed and sad."
He winced.
"But thanks for that,” you snapped. "I really needed to hear that."
You crossed your arms, pursing your lips.
"Look, I'm not trying to be a jerk-"
"Then stop talking."
You were really mad now. You felt tears starting to form in your eyes.
"You're not going to make this better for anyone by saying this," you said, clenching your fists. "It's too late for you to make it right. So why don't you just keep your mouth shut."
He said nothing, and you took a deep breath. You were surprised to realise that your heart didn’t hurt as much you thought it would. You were still upset, but the pain was gone.
"Just leave me alone," you muttered, picking your bag up. You stood up, trying to calm yourself down as you made your way out of the café.
You had almost forgotten about your date when you got home and the sight of a distraught Sunghoon outside your door took you by surprise.
"Where were you?" he asked immediately, pulling you into a hug. He pulled you against him tightly, and you wrapped your arms around him, closing your eyes as he squeezed you. “I’ve been worried sick.”
You felt the guilt sink over you. You hadn't even thought about your date. You hadn't even considered how Sunghoon would feel. You had been so caught up in seeing Heeseung that you had completely forgotten.
"I'm sorry," you whispered, clutching his shirt tightly.
"I was so worried," he said, pulling away from the hug. "You didn't even text me back and I called you so many times. Where were you?”
"I'm sorry," you repeated, and you could feel the tears forming in your eyes. "I just...I had to see him."
He stared at you, frowning. "Him?"
You nodded, letting out a shaky breath.
"Don't get mad," you said quickly. "Just don't. I had to see him, and that's it. I'm sorry."
His face hardened, and you saw his jaw clench.
"Who? Heeseung?"
You bit your lip, nodding your head again.
"I needed to see him," you said again, looking down. "He told me some things and I wanted to hear them from him. I don't know if he meant to or not, but he said-"
"Don't tell me," Sunghoon snapped, cutting you off. "I don't want to know. It doesn't matter."
"Hoon-"
"I don't want to know what he had to say," Sunghoon said, his voice louder. “It doesn’t matter anyways. No matter what shitty thing he says or does, you always go back to him. He keeps doing this to you, and you keep letting him."
He pushed past you and you reached out for him, but he moved out of your reach. You could see him running a hand through his hair, his fists clenched by his sides.
"I don't even know why I'm surprised," he said, shaking his head. "He's going to keep coming back. He's going to keep using you-"
"No-"
"-and I'm just going to sit back and watch it happen again," he snapped, and he turned around to look at you.
"That's not true!"
"Is it?" he shouted, taking a step towards you. "It is! All I am is a distraction for you!"
"Sunghoon-"
"I'm sorry for doing this," he said, cutting you off. "I'm sorry for putting up with it all."
You didn't know what he was talking about. You didn't understand where this was all coming from.
"I'm sorry," he repeated. "But this isn't working for me anymore."
"What isn't?"
"This," he said, gesturing between the two of you. "Us."
You were so confused right now. You really didn’t want to believe what was happening. 
"What are you saying?"
"I don't want to be your distraction anymore," he said. "I'm sorry. I just can't be around you right now."
You felt your heart drop and you took a step towards him.
"Hoon-"
"I'm sorry," he said again.
He turned away from you, walking down the hall. He walked quickly, his back straight as you tried to keep up with him.
"Hoon wait-"
He ignored you, walking faster. You kept pace with him, trying to keep up as he made his way down the stairs. He didn't look back, didn't say anything to you as he walked down the sidewalk.
You stood in the doorway, watching as he walked away from you. You wanted to run after him, to pull him back and demand to know why.
But you knew that you weren't going to.
He didn't look back. He didn't even slow down as he walked away, leaving you alone.
You could feel the tears start to run down your face. 
You didn't even realise how much you cared about him until you couldn't see him anymore.
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Sunghoon was a wreck.
He felt like his heart had been ripped out of his chest and thrown on the floor, stomped on, and then tossed into the garbage.
It was his own fault really. He had known this was going to happen. He had known from the moment he agreed to let himself fall for you. He was a fool.
“That’s it, I’m tired of you moping around the house."
Sunghoon looked up at Jay, blinking.
"What?"
"You heard me," Jay said, shaking his head. "You need to get up and go get laid or something.”
"I'm not interested," Sunghoon mumbled, lying back down on his bed. He rolled over, pulling the pillow over his head. He closed his eyes, trying to ignore Jay.
"I don't believe that," Jay said, leaning over to smack the back of Sunghoon's head. "You've been moping around the house for two weeks. It's time to get over her."
"Get out of my room," Sunghoon groaned, clutching the pillow tightly. "I'm sleeping."
"You haven't been sleeping."
Sunghoon glared up at Jay, shoving the pillow away and sitting up.
"What do you want?" he snapped.
Jay leaned back in his chair, giving Sunghoon a grin. "I want you to go out with me tonight."
Sunghoon glared at him, rubbing his temples. "Why?"
"Because we haven't hung out in a while," Jay said, shrugging his shoulders. "We can get drinks or something."
Sunghoon looked away from Jay, shaking his head. He didn't want to go out and have fun. He didn't want to hang out with people. He didn't want to do anything.
"Look, you need to get out of the house," Jay said, sighing. "You're only going to make yourself worse. You need to move on."
"Move on?" Sunghoon said, and he let out a humourless laugh. "I haven't even seen her in a while."
"But you're still thinking about her," Jay said, his voice softer. "And I think you need to move on."
Sunghoon couldn't find the words to reply.
"Come on, it'll be fun," Jay said, clapping his hands. "We'll go out and get drinks, and maybe we can even pick up some girls."
Sunghoon felt his chest start to tighten.
"It'll be fun."
Sunghoon took a deep breath, letting his body fall back down on his bed. He turned to the side, closing his eyes as he sighed.
He heard Jay sigh.
"Okay," Jay said, getting up from his chair. "If you don't want to come-"
"Okay, okay, I'll go."
Jay grinned, leaning over to pat Sunghoon on the head.
"Good. I'll see you tonight then."
He left Sunghoon's room and Sunghoon groaned into his pillow.
It was going to be a long night.
"So what do you want to do?"
Sunghoon took another sip from his nth drink (he had already lost count), shaking his head. He looked around the bar, before looking back at Jay. "I don't know. This is a waste of time."
"It's not a waste of time," Jay said. "It's fun to go out and see people."
"I guess," Sunghoon said, sipping from his drink again.
"That girl in the back keeps looking at you," Jay said, nodding towards the corner of the room.
Sunghoon turned around, seeing the girl Jay was talking about. She was smiling at him, and Sunghoon gave her a nod. He looked away, sipping his drink again.
"Well?" Jay said. "Go over there and get her."
Sunghoon glanced at her again, before turning back to Jay.
"You're an asshole."
Jay laughed.
Sunghoon finished his drink, getting up. He ignored Jay as he left the table, walking towards the bar to get another drink.
He took a deep breath, trying to calm his nerves. It was already bad enough that he had to be here. He didn't need Jay trying to push him into things.
"Hey."
Sunghoon turned around, seeing the girl from before. She had a drink in her hand and she was smiling at him. Shit. 
"Uh-"
"I'm so sorry if I'm being forward," she said, leaning forward and resting her hand on his chest. "But you looked like you were ready to leave and I just thought-"
"No, it's fine," he said quickly, shaking his head. He stepped towards her, letting her place her hand on his shoulder. "I was actually just leaving."
"Oh, well, do you want to get out of here then?"
She bit her lip, giving him a suggestive look.
"Um-"
"Or we could stay if you want?" she asked, and she pressed her hand on his chest.
Perhaps he was drunker than he had realised, or perhaps it was the way her fingers brushed over his skin, but Sunghoon couldn't find the strength to say no.
He looked at her again, nodding his head slowly. "Yeah. Okay."
"Yeah?" she asked, giving him a grin. "You're cute."
She grabbed his hand, dragging him through the crowd. She pushed past people, heading towards the door and Sunghoon tried not to get annoyed with her. She pulled him outside, stopping as she turned to him.
"Do you want to come to my place?" she asked, reaching out and grabbing his wrist.
"I don't think-"
She laughed. "Oh, I'm not offering to make you breakfast in the morning," she said, and she ran her hand down his arm, squeezing his hand. "You want to fuck, right?"
Sunghoon didn't say anything.
"Right?" she repeated.
"Yeah," he breathed out. "That's...that's what I'm here for."
"Okay, so let's go," she said, squeezing his hand. She started pulling him down the street, and Sunghoon let her.
He was in a daze. He couldn't stop thinking about you. He couldn't stop thinking about your laugh and your smile and how much he missed hearing your voice. He couldn't stop thinking about how much he missed your warmth.
He looked down at the girl in front of him, wondering how he had ended up here. She was nice, sure, but he knew this wasn't what he wanted.
He just wanted you.
"Wait."
She turned around, looking at him as she raised an eyebrow.
"What?"
He stared at her, and he was silent for a moment. He bit his lip, before he sighed.
"You're nice," he said, shaking his head. "But I don't want to do this."
She frowned at him, shaking her head. "You said-"
"I know," he said. "I know what I said."
He didn't give her an explanation. He didn't even look back at her as he walked away, leaving her standing in the street. He shoved his hands in his pockets, walking quickly as he tried to block out the sound of her yelling at him.
He felt like an idiot.
He was in the middle of an argument with himself when he arrived home. He didn't have the strength to get changed before he collapsed onto the couch, closing his eyes and hoping that he would fall asleep soon.
"What are you doing here?"
Sunghoon opened his eyes, turning his head.
You were standing over him, frowning at him. He sat up, trying not to look as shocked as he felt.
"What?" he asked.
"What are you doing here?" you asked, gesturing to the living room. His eyes started to come back into focus and slowly he realized he wasn't home. In his drunken daze he had come back to your apartment instead.
"Shit," he whispered, running his hands through his hair. "Fuck. I'm sorry."
You didn't say anything, just stood there with your arms crossed and you frowned at him.
He got up from the couch, trying to pull himself together as he grabbed his jacket from the floor. He couldn't remember even taking it off.
"I'm sorry," he repeated.
“Are you drunk?” you asked, shaking your head.
He didn't say anything. He looked down, putting on his jacket and trying to push past you. He needed to get out of here before you made him say something that he would regret.
"Are you drunk?" you repeated.
He looked at you, sighing as he turned back around to face you.
"I am," he said, raising his hand to rub his forehead. He was suddenly so tired. "I was out with Jay and I just...I'm sorry. I shouldn't have come here."
You were silent for a moment before you looked away.
“Stay here for the night."
Sunghoon didn't know how to respond. He stood there, staring at you for what seemed like an eternity. He could hear his heartbeat pounding in his ears.
"Stay," you said again. "I'll get you a blanket and pillow."
"You don't have to," he said. "I can just go home-"
"Stay," a pause before you whispered. “Please.”
Sunghoon sighed, running a hand through his hair. He couldn't bring himself to say no to you, no matter how much he wanted to.
He was too tired to argue anyway.
He dropped down on the couch, listening to you move around in your bedroom. He heard you walking back, before you came back with the blanket and pillow in your arms. You dropped them on the couch, reaching for him.
"Sit down," you said.
He did as you asked, and he let you push him back against the cushions. He let you cover him with the blanket, tucking it in around him.
You sat on the edge of the couch, leaning forward to place your hand on his cheek.
"Are you okay?" you asked softly.
He sighed, looking up at you.
"Are you okay?" he repeated.
You were silent for a moment before you let out a sigh. "No. I'm not."
He didn't ask why. He just looked down, staring at your hand against his cheek. He was tempted to place his hand on yours. He wanted to grab it and squeeze it and feel the warmth of your skin.
He didn't though.
"I’m sorry I couldn’t be Heeseung.”
It was only when he heard himself say that he realised he had even been thinking it.
He winced, and he closed his eyes tightly. He turned his head away from you, trying not to cry.
"Hoon-"
He shook his head, covering his face with his hands as he tried to breathe. He felt your fingers against his skin, and he held your hand. He turned his head, placing your hand against his cheek as he looked at you.
“I don’t want you to be Heeseung," you said softly.
Sunghoon blinked at you, swallowing the lump in his throat as he watched your eyes.
"What?"
"I don't want you to be Heeseung," you repeated. “I wanted you. Sunghoon. My Hoon.”
"Why?" he whispered. "You chose him-"
"I didn't."
Sunghoon didn't say anything.
"I didn't," you said again, squeezing his hand. "He just showed up and I was so confused and I couldn't think straight. And I know I messed up so many times but I didn’t know how to deal with it all. I didn't know what to do, so I-"
You broke off, taking a deep breath before you looked up at him again.
"I'm so sorry. I know I messed up but I couldn't-"
Sunghoon cupped your cheek with his hand, stroking your cheekbone with his thumb. You pressed your face into his hand, letting out a shaky sigh.
"I missed you so much."
You nodded, closing your eyes as you let out another breath.
"I missed you too."
You leaned forward, wrapping your arms around him. He pulled you onto his lap, holding you tightly as you pressed your face into his chest. You pressed your cheek against him, wrapping your arms around him and squeezing him tightly. He slid one arm around your waist, placing his hand on your back as he squeezed you tighter.
He closed his eyes, enjoying the warmth of your body against his. You were here in his arms again and he wasn't going to let you go.
"Don't leave me," he whispered, burying his face in your hair.
"I won't," you whispered back.
He took a deep breath, squeezing you again as he held you close.
"Never again."
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Sunghoon woke up with a head splitting headache.
He opened his eyes slowly, before letting out a groan. He closed them again, turning his face away from the sunlight streaming through the window. He covered his face with his arm, letting out a loud groan.
"Shit," he groaned again.
"Drink this."
Sunghoon lowered his arm, looking over to see you sitting on the edge of the couch, holding a glass of water and pills. He blinked at you, rubbing his eyes as he took the water and pills from you. He took a deep breath, letting out a sigh as he sat up slowly.
You sat next to him, grabbing his hand as he reached for the water. He downed it quickly, dropping his hand as you took the glass back from him.
"Thanks," he groaned, running a hand through his hair. He turned to you, squinting at you as you gave him a soft smile.
"Good morning," you said. "How do you feel?"
Sunghoon groaned again, rubbing his temples. "My head hurts."
"That's what happens when you drink a lot," you said, shaking your head. You reached for him, and he leaned his head against your shoulder. You ran your fingers through his hair, and he let out another groan.
"What time is it?"
"A little after ten," you said, and he could hear the smile in your voice.
"I have to get home and shower," he muttered, closing his eyes. "And change."
“You can shower here. And I still have some of your clothes.”
He looked up at you in confusion. “Did I leave my clothes here?”
You averted his eyes, suddenly very interested on the rug infront of the couch. “I uh... might have taken a few of your hoodies. And shirts. And a sweater and some shorts."
Sunghoon laughed, shaking his head. "Of course you did."
He reached forward, pulling you down onto the couch. You squealed in surprise as he wrapped his arms around you, holding you tightly as he pressed his face into your neck.
"I missed you," he murmured, placing a kiss against your skin.
You laughed softly, placing your hands on his chest. You pushed him back, meeting his eyes as you gave him a smile.
"I missed you too."
Sunghoon squeezed you again, leaning forward to press a kiss to your lips. You kissed back, humming as you closed your eyes.
He pulled away from the kiss, leaning his forehead against yours. 
“I would kiss you more but I really want to freshen up first. Do you want to join me in the shower?” he asked, giving you a suggestive look.
You laughed, shoving his shoulder playfully. "Sure. Let's get you freshened up."
Sunghoon laughed, letting you sit up. He let you grab his hand, leading him out of the living room and down the hall to your bathroom.
Sunghoon smiled at you as he watched you turn on the water in the shower, waiting for it to warm up. You grabbed the hem of your shirt, pulling it up over your head and tossing it into the laundry basket. He couldn't take his eyes off you as you reached behind you, undoing your bra. He watched as you pulled it off, tossing it into the laundry basket as well. You reached for your pants, slowly pushing them down your legs as you gave him a sly smile.
“What are you looking at?
He swallowed, shaking his head as he looked away. "Nothing.”
You giggled, turning back to the shower as you undid your pants, pushing them down and stepping out of them. You looked back at him as you slid off your panties, smiling at him as you reached up and undid your hair. You ran your fingers through it, letting out a sigh as you shook it out.
"Hoon."
"Yeah?"
"You’re still dressed. And you’re staring at me again."
"Right."
Sunghoon was starting to think that his brain-to-mouth filter wasn't functioning correctly today.
He pulled off his shirt, dropping it onto the floor before he slid off his pants and underwear. You watched him with a smirk on your lips and Sunghoon felt himself growing hard. He stepped into the shower, pulling you to him and kissing you as you laughed.
He could feel the water dripping down his back as you pushed him against the shower wall. He wrapped an arm around your waist, squeezing your ass with his other hand. You let out a giggle against his lips, pulling away to press your lips against his neck.
"Fuck, I missed you," Sunghoon groaned.
"I missed you too," you said softly.
"Show me," Sunghoon said, running his hands up your back. He grabbed your face with both hands, pulling you back for another kiss. You kissed him back, moaning softly against his lips as you pressed yourself against him.
You wrapped your arms around his neck, letting him grab your ass again and lift you up. You gasped against his lips, wrapping your legs around him. He pressed you against the wall, pushing himself against you as he squeezed your ass again.
"Hoon," you moaned, sliding your hands down his shoulders and to his chest. You broke the kiss, looking at him with a smile on your lips.
"What?"
“I love you."
Sunghoon stopped, and you panicked. 
"Hoon-"
"Say that again," Sunghoon whispered, brushing a wet lock of hair away from your face.
You stared at him for a moment, biting your lip as you felt your heart start to race.
You took a deep breath, and you felt a smile spread across your lips. "I love you."
Sunghoon let out a breath, before he kissed you again. He pressed his lips against yours, kissing you deeply as you sighed against him. You held onto him tightly as he squeezed you again, grinding against you. He was so hard and you could feel the head of his dick pressing against your folds.
"Hoon," you moaned again, pulling away from him. You reached down, grabbing his dick and stroking him slowly. You could feel your pussy starting to grow wet, and you squeezed him again, moaning softly.
"Fuck," he groaned, resting his forehead against yours. He looked into your eyes, his own clouded with lust as he smiled at you. "You're gonna make me cum if you keep that up."
You bit your lip, continuing to stroke him as you gave him a coy look. You kissed him, sliding your hand down his chest. "Maybe that's the point."
"Oh? Is that so?" Sunghoon grinned, moving forward and kissing you again. "So you don’t want me to fuck you?”
You let out a moan as his dick pressed against your clit. "I want you to fuck me."
Sunghoon let out a deep groan, squeezing your ass with both hands as he kissed you again.
"Fuck, I love you," he moaned against your lips. He pulled away from you, reaching for your neck as he sucked a hickey on your skin. "I love you."
He lowered you to your feet, turning you around. He grabbed your waist, and you let out a gasp as you felt his dick press against you. He pushed your hair out of the way, kissing your back as he slid his hand down your front, reaching for your clit.
He rubbed it slowly, making you moan as he slid his other arm around you, holding you close to him. He pressed his lips against the back of your shoulder, and you arched your back as you let out a moan.
"Fuck," you moaned, trying to push back against him. He let out a laugh, continuing to rub your clit as he grinded against your ass.
You squeezed your eyes shut, letting out another loud moan. You felt him press his lips against your skin, and you could feel his smirk as he kept teasing you.
You could feel the head of his dick slide between your folds, and you moaned again as he rubbed against your clit.
He ran his hands up your front, squeezing your breasts before he moved them down again. He grabbed your waist, squeezing them tightly as he pushed you forward a bit. You placed your hands against the wall, leaning forward and bracing yourself as you felt him rub the head of his dick against your clit.
"Hoon," you moaned, closing your eyes as you felt his dick rub against you again. "Please."
He rubbed his dick between your folds, smearing your wetness around as he rubbed against your clit. You were getting impatient now, and you moved your hips a bit, trying to get him to move forward.
He let out a low growl, before he pressed the head of his dick into you.
"Ah," you gasped, letting your head fall forward.
You felt him start to move slowly, pushing himself into you inch by inch as you moaned his name. You clutched the wall tightly, letting out a loud moan as he continued to push himself into you. You felt him move your hair away from your shoulder, pressing a kiss to your neck.
"You're so tight," he whispered into your ear, before biting down gently on your skin.
You moaned again, leaning against him as he grabbed your waist. He pulled out, sliding back into you again and you gasped.
He slid out again, this time grabbing your ass and squeezing it tightly as he pressed himself into you again. He continued to thrust into you, and you moaned his name as you he out a low sigh. He grabbed your hair again, pulling it back as he started to move faster, fucking into you with a roughness you didn't expect.
"You feel so good," Sunghoon moaned. “Pussy made just for me."
You couldn't even respond. You were completely lost in the feeling of his dick sliding into you. You were so wet and you could feel your own slick on your thighs.
You moved your hips back, meeting his thrusts as he moved faster.
"That's it baby," Sunghoon whispered. "You feel so good around me."
You could feel your orgasm starting to build, and you let out another loud moan.
"So good," Sunghoon groaned, and he slid one hand down your front, rubbing your clit slowly.
"Hoon!" you cried out, moving your hips against his hand as he kept moving his hips. You could feel your pussy starting to clench around him and you moaned his name again.
"Fuck, you're close," he groaned, rubbing your clit faster. "I can feel you clenching around me."
"I'm so close," you cried out, leaning forward as he pulled you back by your hair. You braced yourself on the wall, closing your eyes as you felt yourself growing close. You felt him pull out of you suddenly, and you turned your head back to look at him.
"Hoon, what-"
He grabbed your hair, pushing you against the shower wall again. He slid back into you, pressing himself into you as you let out a moan.
He fucked into you hard, and you tried to look at him over your shoulder. He pressed his lips against your shoulder, moaning as he pushed himself deep inside of you. He wrapped his arms around you, holding you close as he fucked you.
"I love you," he said, his voice low and his breath hot on your neck. "I love you so much."
You bit your lip, moaning his name as he thrust into you again.
"That's it," Sunghoon groaned. "Call my name like that again."
You moaned his name again, arching your back as he continued to thrust into you. You were so close to coming now, and you felt your orgasm start to take over.
"I'm going to cum," you moaned, reaching back to grab onto his hand. "I'm going to-"
You felt him thrust into you again, and you felt your orgasm hit you. You moaned loudly, letting your head fall forward as he let out a loud groan.
"Fuck, you're squeezing my dick," Sunghoon growled. "You're so good at sucking me in."
You clenched around him, feeling him pull you back as he thrust into you again.
"Fuck!" he cried out, and you felt him twitch inside of you. You felt his cum shoot into you, and you clenched around him again, squeezing him tightly.
He let go of you, sliding out of you as he pressed a kiss to your shoulder. You turned around to face him, placing your hand on his cheek. You looked up at him with a smile on your lips.
He gave you a tired grin, leaning forward to press his forehead against yours.
"Can never get tired of that," he muttered, giving you a wink.
"Shut up."
He laughed, and you shook your head. You pushed him backwards, grabbing the showerhead as you grabbed his arm and pushed him under the stream of water.
"Hey!" he shouted, trying to push you away as he laughed.
You laughed, turning the showerhead off before you pulled him back to you, kissing him as you slid your arms around him.
"So, I was thinking that we could go out to dinner tonight and then we could go see a movie," he said. “You still owe me a date."
You grinned, kissing his cheek. "Yeah? That sounds nice."
"Yeah?" he said, pulling you back into the spray of the shower. You let him push you under the water, letting out a laugh as he ran his hands up your back.
"I'd love that."
2K notes · View notes
praisethegabs · 5 months
Text
HATE THAT I LOVE YOU
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leon kennedy x f!reader
synopsis: Leon can't stand seeing you around him. You know how much he hates you and you like having fun with it. Things get worse when the two of you get lost during one mission, with no comms to call for help. Leon blames you for everything, until he revels something he shouldn't.
warnings: ENEMIES TO LOVERS. descriptions of injuries, reader taking care of leon, comfort, fake marriage, descriptions of nudity, leon drunk and and reader teasing him. small reference to call of duty characters as part of reader backstory.
word count: 10k +
a/n: heavily inspired by "death of me" by wizthemc. cover from laughingwallaby on x/twitter. it isn't necessary to listen to the song, but I highly recommend it.
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"he’d set fire to the world around him but never let a flame touch her" senlinyu
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Leon Kennedy hates you more than anything else in this world. 
He hated the fact he was obligated to be your partner, hated the reckless way you always managed to finish a mission practically intact, and hated the way you always succeeded in something, no matter what it was. He hates you entirely, even your perfume is enough to get him on his nerves. 
He hates you ten times more because he knows you know he hates you, and you seem like you don't care about it at all. 
It all started three years ago, when he discovered he would be your new partner. Your name was pretty famous, and so were you. Not that he envies your success, but he never thought he would be under the shadow of someone like you. At first, Leon was very impressed with your skills and the way you work, but two weeks later, he started to despise you, and this feeling turned into hatred. 
You ain’t stupid, you can even feel all the hate he has towards you, and things get better because you have this masochist side of yours that makes you feel happy seeing how angry he can be at you. 
Although you don’t care about the reasons he hates you, the thing is, you can’t deny how attractive Leon can be, and having him as your partner makes every other agent jealous of how lucky you are. It’s Agent Kennedy, the one and only. The guy who rescued the president's daughter and basically did other significant things for the government. 
But, despite the Leon you know at work, his entire life is a blank page. You know absolutely nothing about him, and he doesn’t care about sharing his personal life details with someone he hates. You noticed a while ago that you are the only person Leon ignores and despises completely, and he avoids talking to you as much as he can, only when it is necessary. And when he opens that pretty mouth of his, it usually contains hateful words. 
At this point, you just do your job the way you see fit and come back home safely, not caring about Leon’s arrogant ass. 
“You could have killed us!” Leon snaps at you, his entire demeanor showing stress. He can’t avoid grabbing you by your arm and squeezing it tightly, which makes you groan.
“Well, golden boy, at least your ass is intact and here. I’d like to hear a nice ‘thank you’, how about it?” You smirk and tilt your head, and in response, his entire face turns red with anger.  
“You’re so fucking immature. Do you think you’ll be lucky for the rest of your life?” He raised his voice, his hand on your arm getting tighter by the second. The expression on your lips didn’t make things easier. “One day, you won’t be that lucky, and you’ll probably drop dead somewhere. I won’t be there to pick up your pieces. Do you want to risk your life? Go ahead, I don’t fucking care, but don’t drag me into your bullshit again. I’m your partner, not your babysitter” 
“I’m really surprised you consider me your partner, Kennedy,” you smirk again, and that smirk was enough to infuriate Leon more than he already was. 
Leon was on the verge of yelling at you, but the cold expression that quickly went up on his face was enough to make your smirk disappear. You have never seen him like that, it was weird. 
“Maybe I should change that,” he hissed with cold and dead eyes, finally letting go of your arm.
“Good luck with that, Kennedy,” you coo, crossing your arms over your chest as you speak. 
After saying that, the smile you gave him was enough to make Leon livid. He wanted so badly to take that ironic smile off of your lips, he wished that right now you were a man, so he could definitely teach you a lesson you wouldn’t forget so soon. However, you are the same annoying opposite gender that he hates so much. So, instead of beating the living shit out of you, he just watched you leave, turning in the opposite direction to calm himself down before he did something stupid. 
The last mission was very simple: locate and terminate a bioweapon. As you two went there to find the said bioweapon, the entire area was drowning in chaos. The area was isolated to prevent the bioweapon from running away, and alongside you and Leon, there was the entire squad ready to follow your lead. 
It should be simple, right? Here's the part where Leon thinks you're completely reckless. Instead of following the standard protocol, you thought it would be best to use yourself as bait and literally explode the entire block. Your stupid plan really worked, and the bioweapon died in the explosion; luckily, you were left with a few scratches and a bleeding ear — which the doctor said wasn't something serious, although you would be “deaf” for a few days from your right side. 
So, when you got home, the first thing you actually did was take a nap, which turned out to be deeper than you expected. You slept for twelve hours with your phone in airplane mode so that no one could disturb your sleep. The only thing you weren't counting on was waking up to the distant sounds of someone practically wanting to take your door down. Wearing your cat pajamas, your hair a complete mess, and your face swollen after so many hours sleeping, the last person you thought you would see was Leon. 
And he was right there. 
“Do you know I’m out of the clock at the moment, right?” you asked him, with a big yawn seconds later. His face wasn't one of the most friendly you've seen. 
“Yeah? Do you think I’m here because I want it?” Leon rolls his eyes, sounding annoyed and bored. 
“Well, golden boy, if you’re here to yell at me about what happened earlier, I suggest you wait until tomorrow. I’m definitely not in the mood for you,” you said, already closing the door, when Leon suddenly stopped you. “I always thought you were a weirdo, now I’m sure of it. What do you want?” 
“Get ready for our new assignment. And try to dress in something more... elegant.” Leon gave you the file from the next mission. Surprised, you started to read the file, and out of nowhere, you started to laugh in disbelief. 
“Recently married couple on their honeymoon? Is this some kind of sick joke?” You glanced at him, still laughing nervously at your new disguise with him. 
“Trust me, I asked the same question, and unfortunately, that's our new disguise. So, get your ass ready. We’ll be leaving in three hours, Ms. Kennedy,” he said with his Stoic and cold expression as always, giving you a ring made of white gold, which made you think how expensive it was. 
“I’m pretty sure our agency wouldn’t give us this type of accessory,” you said to him, taking a good look at the ring he gave you. White gold, with a beautiful sapphire and diamonds carved around the blue stone. 
“Don’t be late,” Leon said, ignoring your last commentary. “I’ll be waiting at the airport” 
Leon left without looking at your confused expression. You had to read the file at least three times until you finally understood the mission. Leon and you were going to pose as a recently married couple enjoying their honeymoon as you two investigate a famous billionaire that made its own wealth by selling bioweapons in the market. You sighed with the sudden stress, walking towards your room to prepare your bag. After finishing your bag, you caught yourself glancing again at the ring. You were sure the agency wouldn’t give this ring to Leon for a fake marriage. It was something else, but what? 
So, one hour later, you drove to the airport. At least this time, you weren’t late, and Leon wouldn’t be making a scene over it. You found him distracted, wearing sunglasses with his leather jacket, his hair shining in the sunlight. Leon seemed very focused on the book he was reading, and it was a big surprise to see him like that, especially because you knew nothing about him. 
“So, dear husband, are you ready to go?” you ask, seeing him put his book aside. He looked very beautiful with those sunglasses. 
“Yeah, sure.” He nodded, his voice sounding calm instead of the coldness you were used to. You noticed he was wearing his own wedding ring. 
“Will you tell me where these came from?” You started to walk next to him, referring yourself to the ring he gave you, hoping it would be a real answer. 
“Why do you care? It’s just a ring,” Leon replied, avoiding the subject as much as he could. 
“I don’t think it’s just a ring. It has some marks on it, like it was used before.” The egocentric smile on your lips made Leon take a deep breath. 
“It was from my mother, okay? It’s the last thing I had from her and my dad before they died. Satisfied?” Leon harshly replied to you, and you knew you had screwed up. You didn’t know about his family, and the way he replied made you realize it was a hard subject. 
“I’m sorry, Leon. I didn’t know,” you hissed, feeling your entire face burn with shame. 
“Like you care,” he replied in a cold tone, walking away from you towards the airport. 
The rest of the flight was absolute silence. Leon didn’t speak with you and had no intention to do so. You felt terrible, but you decided not to show him any feelings; the guy literally hated you, and showing how you felt was the last thing he would believe. So, thinking about all the years of free hate, you decided it was for the best to pretend you didn’t care.
Naturally, pretending that everything was fine was one of your best qualities. You were so good at hiding your own feelings that no one could read you or decipher your emotions. 
At the hotel, hours later, you were ready to follow Leon and finish the job. Deep down, you were expecting his coldness and his famous Stoic expression, along with his grumpy humor. However, you were caught off guard when he suddenly took your bags and smiled at you. He was, indeed, a full mystery. 
“C’mon, darling. I’ll take your bags for you.” When he said that, you noticed the “recently married couple” game was on. You glance at him and smile broadly, then kiss his cheek.
“Oh, babe, you’re so sweet to me. Thank you,” you said, giving him your bag and walking in front of him like you were some kind of model. Two people could play this game, right? 
After the check-in, you two walked between fake laughs until you reached the master bedroom. Leon could pay, and so could you, but you decided to let him play along since it was his mission, and you were just his annoying partner. 
“Such a cliché… having one bed,” you sighed at the sight of the master bed in the center of the room. 
“We’re married, it should look like that.” Leon rolled his eyes, leaving your bag close to the bed as he analyzed the entire room. 
“No, we’re not married. We’re pretending to be,” you said, sitting on the edge of the bed and smirking ironically at him. “And besides, why me? You said you wanted to leave. You could have asked for any other agent”  
“Who said I didn't ask?” Leon replied with the same ironic smirk on his lips, sitting on the armchair in front of you. 
“And what did they say?” Suddenly, you sounded more upset than your usual sarcastic demeanor. You hope Leon didn’t notice. 
“Unfortunately, they can’t give me another partner. Guess I’m stuck with you for God knows how long” He sounded annoyed for a moment, but you chose to ignore it completely. 
You decided you needed a bath. You took a few clothes from your bag and decided to “play” with him. Not only that, but you removed your clothes in front of him, sensually, trying to get some reaction from him. When you glanced at Leon, he was hard.
“What are you doing?” he asked, and you noticed he was breathing heavily. Now he was nervous, and it wasn't anger. 
“We are married. I guess this is what wives do in front of their husbands.” You wink at him, making your way to the bathroom wearing nothing but your lingerie. 
Leon was completely speechless. You could see him swallowing harder, his Adam’s apple going up and down faster. The devilish smile on your lips didn’t make things easier for him, either. It took a lot of strength from him to look anywhere else but you. Leon was clearly uncomfortable and nervous. 
“You know, if you want this mission to succeed, you must pretend you don’t hate me. And for that, you need to trust me, Kennedy. I know you despise my methods, and I know you’re anxious to get rid of me, and honestly, I don’t really give a shit about your teenage behavior,” you said from the bathroom, wrapping your now naked body around a white towel and opening the door again so you could see him. “So, I promise I’ll try my best to not screw everything up. Just try not to act like the asshole you are usually whenever you’re with me” 
“Oh, I’m the asshole now.” Leon finally seemed to wake up from his own trance, and his expression suddenly changed from Stoic to aggressive. "You've acted like a complete jerk since the first day we started to work together, and according to you, I’m the asshole here? You should look at yourself in the mirror, sweetheart” 
“Then why did you stay here with me this entire time? You could have split a long time ago, golden boy,” you say, crossing your arms in your chest, not intimidated by his behavior. 
“I told you. They won’t put me with another agent. I’m stuck with you, and trust me, I wish I could have left a very long time ago,” Leon replied coldly, his blue eyes almost icy with the way he was staring at you. 
But instead of your silence, you caught him off guard.
“I know you’re lying. If you snap your fingers, they will do everything you want. You just have to ask, since you’re their golden boy. They freaking love you, Kennedy, and there’s nothing they wouldn't do to please you. Don’t bullshit me,” you said, walking slowly towards him and hissing, your eyes shining with sarcasm. 
But Leon didn’t give you an answer. Instead, he took his leather jacket and left the room without saying something. You decided to calm yourself down and go straight for a bath, enjoying the candles and their arousal. After what seemed to be a long time in the tub, you left the tub and wrapped the towel around your body; the room was still empty, and you couldn't care less about Leon. If he wanted to act like a pampered kid, that was his problem, not yours. 
You enjoyed the time alone to do your skin care routine, and decided to take care of your own body as well. It was almost eight when the phone inside your room started to ring. 
“Ms. Kennedy, I’m sorry to interrupt, but your husband seems to be causing quite a scene in the hotel bar. I might have to ask you to pick him up; otherwise, I’ll have to ask security to take care of him,” the person on the other side says to you, and immediately, you sighed. 
“I’m sorry for the inconvenience, I’ll go get him right now. Thank you,” you said, forcing the most sweet tone of voice you could at the moment.  
You left the room thinking about ending Leon. He could definitely jeopardize the entire mission with his behavior, and this was unacceptable. When you found him in the bar, he was, indeed, causing a big scene. Leon was screaming and scaring the rest of the guests, and there were at least three security guards next to him. 
“Leon, darling, come on. You've had enough,” you said, approaching him and touching his shoulder softly. 
“Are you his wife?” one of the security guards asks you with a serious expression. You couldn’t blame the man, he was only doing his job. 
“Yes, and I am really sorry for my husband. I guess he’s just too carried away…” you said with the calmest tone of voice you could, trying your best to hold him tight. 
“Ma’am, you need to control him. He made a lot of mess in the bar.” The other looked severely at you, with an angry expression. 
“I’m here, aren’t I? Don’t worry about the trouble, we can pay for the inconvenience,” you replied in a harsh tone. Suddenly, Leon threw up, and his vomit fell on the floor. “And we can pay for that too”
“Suck on that, fuckers!” Leon smiled before you dragged him back to your room. 
In the silence of the hallway, Leon had a lot of difficulty walking properly. He was stumbling on his feet and saying incoherent things in your ear. You never saw him like that, and it was pretty weird being his babysitter. You wanted to kill him, but he couldn’t even stand, and possibly wouldn’t remember a thing the next day. 
“I hate you,” you muttered, dragging him across the hallway towards your room. 
“Why do you hate me?” Leon asks, his mouth smelling of alcohol and his words confused. “Am I not good enough?” 
“Where is this coming from?” You raised both of your eyebrows in visible confusion. Finally, you reached the room and unlocked the door, dragging Leon into the bathroom. 
“I tried… to be enough… I know I’m an asshole, but… I’m scared of being hurt again, and… I push people away from me… but you’re so different…” he says between drunken hiccups, which is almost funny, but completely unexpected. “I've liked you since the first time I saw you, and… and…” Leon throws up again in the toilet, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath, before looking at you again. You were completely speechless. 
“I think you need a bath,” you muttered, still shocked by his words. Your hands were shaking, and for a moment, you had no idea what you should do. 
“No… I… I need to finish this because I don’t know when I’ll have the balls to do so again…” Leon grabs you tightly, not wanting to let go of you. Biting your lower lip, you nodded. “I know I said I hate you, but… but that’s not true. I only did that because… because I was scared and thought you would reject me… so I started to act like an asshole… I’m so sorry” 
“It’s okay… I should be sorry too, I didn’t make things easier for you since day one” you said to him, sounding more kind than you usually are. He won’t remember this conversation, you are sure of it. 
“I feel complete trash… I should’ve just… asked you instead of acting like an asshole…” Leon said this between other rounds of drunken hiccups. He’s pretty wasted. 
And before this conversation could end in another way, you decided to give him a cold bath. You didn’t remove his clothes, and he complained a lot when he felt the cold water on him. After that, you had to change his clothes, and when Leon saw you touching him, he turned hard again, although he was too drunk to even be ashamed. You had trouble laying him on the bed, but he didn’t struggle against you. 
“I love you,” he whispers before falling asleep. 
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The next morning, you decided to leave Leon alone for a while. You couldn’t explain to him what happened the night before because you were too shocked to say something. “I love you,” he said, and his words made a home in your head. How was that even possible?
Leon Kennedy, the guy who hated you with his entire being, said he loved you. He was drunk, and he probably didn’t mean any of those words. Maybe he was just playing a game with you, maybe that wasn’t true. However… drunk people tend to say things they usually wouldn’t say. So, there was a remote possibility that he was, indeed, telling the truth. How could you believe him? 
“Fuck… what happened?” Leon asks you when he woke up, squeezing his eyes. He had a terrible headache. 
“You got drunk last night and caused a lot of trouble in the bar,” you said, throwing at him a small, transparent bag with painkillers. 
“Shit, I can’t remember anything. My head hurts like crazy.” Leon looks at you, and you can see the effects of the hangover on his face. 
“Glad one of us has commitment to the job,” you said, sounding harsher than you wanted to be. Leon looks at you again, but completely confused this time. 
“What did I say?” he asks, and then, as you can notice, he sounds more desperate. If it were at another time, you would definitely take advantage of it, but his words echoed in your head again. 
“Nothing important. Just regular drunk stuff,” you say, shaking your shoulders, avoiding the subject that was hammering your head. 
"Fine.” He nods his head and stands up, walking to the bathroom. 
His words were floating in your head, and it was hard not to think about what happened the other night. At this point, you had no idea how you would finish the mission. Not with his words hammering in your head, penetrating your chest, and making you feel things you really don’t want to.
You hate Leon Kennedy and everything he made you feel.
He comes out of the bathroom, and he has a towel wrapped around his waist. The sight you had of him, all muscular, his body sculpted by the gods, walking like that in his own glory. It made your stomach twitch. You felt your face burning, and right now, you wanted to dissipate from the earth. 
“We have a meeting in one hour.” You had to find a lot of strength inside you to not stare at his chest when you spoke to him. 
“Can you go alone? I’m not really in perfect condition.” Leon sits on the bed, looking at you. He seems to not realize what’s happening. You, in response, shake your head. 
“No, I can’t. Since we’re married, you need to come with me. It sucks, huh?” you replied with a cold smile, looking at him with dead eyes. 
“Jesus, you’re really a pain in the ass,” he says in a deep breath, reaching for the painkillers. 
You decided to ignore his commentary and get ready for the day. According to your new schedule, the man you two went to investigate would be in a meeting and then head to the restaurant. It was the perfect opportunity. You decided to wear a short black dress, making your thighs visible, and a V-neckline, showing a little of your breasts. 
"Fuck” Leon mutters when he sees you, and you can notice he’s a little nervous. Maybe he’s starting to remember what he did last night.
“What?” you ask him, raising both of your eyebrows.
“I can’t find my phone,” he replies angrily, looking the entire room over to find his phone.
“It’s in the drawer.” You rolled your eyes, finishing with the makeup and your hair. Leon sighed in relief when he finally found his phone. “You’re welcome”
He took a few minutes until he finished getting ready. Leon was wearing a navy blue shirt, black shorts, and sunglasses, the same ones he was using at the airport. He was looking very beautiful, but you decided to keep your thoughts to yourself.
“Ready?” he finally asks you, looking at you with some curiosity. You nodded, grabbing your purse and walking next to him outside the room.
The hotel’s restaurant was filled with the clinking of cutlery and the low murmur of conversations. Leon and you decided to sit across from each other at a small, intimate table, your gazes scanning the room for any sign of your target.
The aroma of freshly brewed coffee and the soft jazz playing in the background provided a calming facade to the tension that lingered between them. Leon, with disheveled hair and a pair of sunglasses that only partially hid the evidence of a rough night, rubbed his temples and winced.
"Ugh, I think I might die. I can't believe you dragged me into this after last night. I swear, my head is splitting." he muttered, pretending to be reading the menu.
"This is a mission, Leon, not a vacation. You knew what you signed up for when you took that last shot. Now, pull yourself together. We need to find our guy, and your hangover isn't helping." you shot him a withering look, your eyes sharp beneath a cascade of your hair
"I just don't get why we couldn't have rescheduled this. I mean, who plans a stakeout the morning after an undercover party? It's like the universe is against me." Leon leaned back in his chair, wincing at the light filtering through the bistro's window.
"We don't have the luxury of rescheduling. This is our best chance to catch him off guard, and we can't afford any mistakes. Your lack of professionalism could jeopardize the entire mission. So, get over yourself and focus." You clenched your jaw, your frustration evident.
Leon sighed, realizing he had hit a nerve. He straightened up and took off his sunglasses, revealing bloodshot eyes.
"Fine, fine. I get it. No more complaints. Let's just eat and keep an eye out for our guy. Maybe the food will cure this hangover from hell." he said, waving his hand at the waitress.
"Good. We need to stay sharp. Our target is slippery, and we can't afford to miss any signs. Just remember, we're a married couple on a lunch date. Act natural." you nodded, your stern expression softening slightly.
As the minutes went by, the restaurant was an oasis of calm, its subdued lighting and plush furnishings a stark contrast to the pounding headache Leon was nursing.
Besides his mood and his complaints about the headache, you were the one who maintained a professional demeanor. However, your patience was wearing thin. The clinking of silverware and muted conversations formed a backdrop to your undercover mission.
"Can we make this quick? My head feels like it's about to split open." Leon winced, massaging his temples after minutes in silence.
"You brought this upon yourself, Leon. You can't let your personal life interfere with the mission. We have a job to do." You shot him a disapproving glance.
"I didn't expect last night to turn into a frat party. It was supposed to be a simple gathering." Leon sighed, regret etched on his face.
"Well, you should have thought about that before you started to behave like a pampered kid. But guess what, Kennedy? We can't change that now. We're on a timeline, and we can't afford mistakes. So, suck it up and focus." your eyes narrowed, your tone of voice sounding angry. I love you, his words, still echoing in the back of your head,
As he perused the menu, Leon's eyes flickered across the room, and he stiffened.
"There he is," he muttered, nodding discreetly toward your target who had just entered the restaurant.
"Perfect timing, Leon. Just what we needed." your gaze followed Leon's, and you cursed under your breath.
You two ordered quickly, your argument temporarily set aside as you two maintained the appearance of a normal, albeit slightly disgruntled, married couple. The target settled at a nearby table, engaged in conversation with an associate. As your food arrived, Leon's hangover-induced irritability resurfaced.
"Can we at least eat in peace before we tail him? I'm not in the mood for this undercover drama." he complains again.
"Your mood doesn't matter. We need to catch this guy. Finish your food quickly, and we'll tail him discreetly." you shot him a stern look.
Leon grumbled but complied, glancing over his shoulder at the target. The argument simmered beneath the surface, waiting for the opportune moment to erupt. As the two of you left the restaurant, the hangover weighed heavily on Leon, intensifying his annoyance. You kept your voice low as you two trailed the target through the hotel's corridors.
"Leon, I don't care about your hangover. We can argue later. Right now, we need to focus on the mission." you sharply told him in annoyance.
Leon shot back, his tone sharp, "Well, maybe if you were a bit more understanding, we wouldn't have to argue at all. This headache is killing me."
You shot him a pointed look but decided to let it go for the moment as you two approached the front desk to inquire about your room. The target was believed to be staying on one of the upper floors, and obviously, you two needed to gather information without raising suspicion. As you stepped into the elevator, Leon swayed slightly, earning a disapproving glance from you. The elevator doors closed, and Leon muttered:
"I'll be fine. Let's just get this over with."
The doors opened to a corridor adorned with plush carpeting and dimmed lights. You and Leon maintained their cover, acting the part of the honeymooning couple as you two made your way down the hall. Just as the both of you reached the door to the suspected target's room, a sudden chill crept up Leon's spine.
A group of imposing figures, undoubtedly the target's security detail, emerged from the elevator behind you. Your eyes widened as you discreetly tugged on Leon's arm, directing his attention to the unexpected threat.
"Leon, we've got company," you whispered urgently.
“Well, sweetheart, you won’t like this” Leon said, turning himself to you.
“What-”
Before you could even speak, you felt his lips crushing against yours. Something about his kiss made you feel something inside your chest. The taste of alcohol mixed with mint, the way his tongue danced inside your mouth, it was something you never felt and tasted before.
Leon tilted your chin upward, creating the perfect illusion of a stolen moment between two infatuated lovers. The security guards, momentarily thrown off by the unexpected display, hesitated in their approach. You felt him break the kiss, your eyes meeting with a shared understanding.
“That was close” he whispers, holding your hand as you two walk together in the corridor.
But you were left without any words. His kiss caught you completely off guard and for some stupid reason, you felt your legs were failing you. Something about the way Leon's lips pressed against yours sparked an internal conflict. His kiss was not one of disdain; it was fervent, almost desperate. In that moment, the line between pretense and reality blurred, and you found yourself torn between the mission and your own conflicting emotions.
As you walked in silence next to him, the tension between you two became palpable. Leon, ever the professional, maintained his stoic expression, his eyes scanning the horizon for any potential threats, even with the hangover state. You, on the other hand, couldn't shake off the unease that accompanied you every step. You stole a glance at Leon, his features carved in light of the hallway.
Suddenly, the tranquility of the night shattered as a series of sharp cracks pierced the air. Bullets whizzed past you two, sparking against the cobblestone streets. You and Leon instinctively dove behind the cover of a wall as the realization hit — you two were the targets now.
"Move!" Leon shouted over the chaos, grabbing your arm and propelling you forward.
The rhythmic staccato of gunfire followed you two, echoing through the maze of narrow alleys. The assailants were relentless, shadows in pursuit, fueled by an unseen vendetta. You two sprinted through the labyrinthine corridors, your breaths mingling with the desperate echoes of your footfalls. Leon's mind raced, analyzing escape routes and potential hiding spots. You, feeling your heart pounding, cast glances over your shoulder, your instincts sharp as you matched Leon's every move.
The honeymoon facade shattered as the two agents sprinted down the corridor, bullets whizzing past the two of you. Panic and urgency replaced the hangover-induced haze in Leon's mind. You two reached a stairwell, taking it two steps at a time, the footsteps drowned out by the chaos unfolding behind you.
As you two burst onto a lower floor, you spotted an emergency exit. Without hesitation, you burst through the door, finding yourselves in a garden. The adrenaline-fueled escape continued through the green labyrinthine surrounding the hotel, leaving the luxurious facade behind as you and Leon navigated the maze, chased by both the consequences of the cover being blown and the remnants of the security detail.
It wasn’t supposed to happen like this.
Apparently, the said billionaire found out about the two of you, and now, Leon and you had to run somewhere else safe, leaving all your belongings in the hotel. There were gunshots everywhere, and you had to fight for your dear life, protecting you and Leon with a marble statue as a form of barricade to prevent being shot.
“This isn’t how I expected my honeymoon to be,” Leon muttered, shooting one of the security guards.
“This isn’t a honeymoon either,” you replied, firing your gun at the guard, killing him with a perfect headshot. “We are not even married”
“Well, this isn’t how I imagined it, anyway. We need to get out, Ms. Kennedy,” Leon said, offering his hand to you, which you took without thinking twice. You started to run, with Leon covering your back.
You could hear the security guards running after you, two more gunshots. Likewise, you ran for your life, not daring to look behind you, knowing Leon was right behind you, making sure you were protected, which was very odd, considering the history between the two of you.
At the moment, it's the last thing you're worried about. After a few minutes of running, you managed to escape the guards and find a place to hide. You were breathing heavily, and shaking.
“Are you okay?” Leon asks you, looking at the direction you two came from.
“Why do you care?” you simply replied, coughing a little as you tried to catch your breath.
“Do you think I don’t remember what I said last night? C’mon, I might be a drunk asshole, but I don’t forget things easily.” Leon glanced at you, which was more sympathetic than usual.
“This isn’t fair. You can’t say things like that after treating me like garbage for years,” you snapped at him, finally letting your feelings go without any shame. “You can’t say you love me, and the next day you can’t barely look at my face. You can’t say you love me when the only thing that comes from your mouth is hate and disgust. This isn’t fair, and you can’t play like that with me”
After saying that, you decided to walk yourself out and leave Leon alone. Who the hell did he think he was? He had no right to play with your feelings like that. You were so angry at him for throwing that on your shoulders with no responsibility.
Besides, you had important things to deal with, not his bullshit. Your hands were shaking like crazy, and you realized that you had no control over your feelings, and this was very dangerous, especially in your line of work. You needed to calm yourself down, and you needed to do it fast.
Hours later, everything was quiet. Leon was nowhere to be seen, because you didn’t notice when he went missing in the first place, and you couldn't care less about him. It was obviously a stupid idea to try to get back to the hotel, knowing it would be heavily secured after what happened earlier. But, somehow, you felt something very wrong.
The gunshot noises out there were exactly what you didn’t want to hear. You heard screams and loud voices, and immediately, your hand fell to your gun. You heard footsteps, and by the sound, you knew this person was supporting his body weight on his left leg, and was limping heavily. When you were about to attack, it was him.
“What the hell?” you gasped in shock, seeing him limping and, of course, injured.
“I tried to get our comms back” he whimpered almost quietly, as you helped him sit down. He was breathing heavily, his hand pressing tightly on his ribs. “But, as you can see, it didn’t go well.”
“And you say I'm reckless, right?” you muttered, trying to see the size of the damage on him, although he whined again. “You could've died in there, asshole”
“Now I understand why you do things this way,” Leon chuckles, but then he groans in pain, his grip on his ribs getting tight. “It’s way more fun”
“Fun? Are you out of your mind, Kennedy?” you snapped at him. If Leon wasn’t injured at the moment, you would definitely beat the living shit out of him. “I don’t do things like that for fun!”
“Keep your voice down, sweetheart. I don’t want to get back home inside a coffin,” Leon said, as he pressed his hand on your mouth to keep you quiet. In the sudden silence, you were able to hear more footsteps, and Leon kept pressing his hand on your mouth. A few minutes later, everything went silent again.
“I’m not… okay” he mutters, and his eyes meet yours. Blue like the ocean. And then, you finally see the blood spot on his shirt — the same spot he was trying to hide from you. “I’m sorry”
“I swear to God, if you dare to die on me, I’ll personally kill you, Kennedy,” you replied, and then you started to press his wound to prevent him from bleeding to a certain death.
But he smiled. It was a faint smile, but he was really smiling at you. You saw him raise his hand, and he touched your hair, moving the strands that fell on your face. The way he was looking at you, so sad and weak, it was like he was saying goodbye.
“You look so... beautiful.” His voice seems weak, and his breath starts to become more shallow. “I guess… this is what angels look like”
“C’mon, Leon, don’t you dare die on me,” you said as you noticed yourself getting more anxious by the second.
He smiled again and kept looking at you with those beautiful blue eyes. Slowly, he started to close his eyes, and his breath got more shallow, indicating he was losing consciousness. The more you tried to keep him awake, the more he seemed lost. You were slowly losing him.
“Condor One! Condor Two,” someone called you two. It was your squad.
“We’re here” you shouted at them, your hands filled with Leon’s blood as you waved at your squad. “He’s injured and losing a lot of blood”
“Don’t worry, we’re taking you two,” the leader said as the team approached you with medical equipment.
You couldn’t describe the stress you felt with everything that happened in the meantime. Did you two succeed in the mission? Was it over? You couldn’t know. Not until you were sure Leon was safe and sound.
From the helicopter, you could see the sirens, the local police, and the agents from the government. It was almost unbelievable, but it was true. The operation was a success, after all. You glanced at Leon. He was sleeping, or at least he seemed to be.
You tried to rest, but it seemed unreachable. Your body was electric, filled with constant energy that prevented you from closing your eyes. You wanted to sleep badly, but your concern about him was enough to keep you awake. When the helicopter finally landed at the hospital heliport, Leon was immediately taken into surgery. As for you, you had no other option but to wait.
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Hours later, you had no news about him, and the anxiety was eating you alive from the inside. At this point, your body was less tense than before, and the first signs of stress and tiredness were finally showing up. You were sitting in a chair, in an empty white hallway, waiting. The hours seemed to slip through your fingers, slowly.
You sighted a kid playing with a purple teddy bear, and for a moment, you started to wonder about the life you led. The choices you made and how you ended up in your job. It was weird to think that while other people had normal lives, you had to risk yours every day, to make sure they would live in a safe world.
It sounded selfish to think like that, but you had every reason to do so since you couldn’t have a normal life. That word didn’t exist in your dictionary. Nor in your days.
Then, you see yourself playing with Leon’s mother's ring on your finger. For a brief moment, you imagined how your life would be if you were married and raising kids. Then, you push away these thoughts; motherhood isn’t your style, not even a married life.
“Ms. Kennedy?” you hear the doctor call you, and the sound of Leon’s surname addressed to you like you were his real wife makes your heart ache.
“Is he okay?” Your voice sounded more hoarse than you thought it would, a small consequence of being silent for so long. The look on the doctor’s face said there wasn’t good news.
“Your husband has lost a lot of blood, but we managed to stop the bleeding, and the surgery went well. Our main concern is with his brain injury…” The doctor pauses for a brief moment, wondering how to tell you the next news. “But, unfortunately, he’s in a coma.”
The news came at you like a violent wave. Suddenly, the world around you stopped, and you couldn't hear anything else. Your eyes were wide open, your chest was burning and aching, and for some stupid reason, you didn’t want to believe those words. How could Leon be in a coma? It was your thing to play reckless, he had no right to leave you like this.
You saw the doctor talking to you, but you couldn’t hear anything; everything around you was running slowly. What the hell was he saying? His lips moved slowly, just like the rest of the entire world, but you managed to understand: he was asking you if you were okay or if you needed something.
You felt like you were drowning, unable to reach the surface, surrounded by darkness. You wanted to scream and cry, but you couldn’t. You felt trapped by an invisible force, holding you tight and keeping you shut.
It was the sight of Chris that made you turn back to reality, and finally, the scream that was trapped in your throat came out from the core of your lungs.
“It’s okay, I got you,” Redfield said quickly as he held you before you fell to the ground. Your legs were shaking just like the rest of your body. “It’s okay”
“It was my fault, Chris.” Your voice was muffled by desperate chokes and sobs. “He’s in a coma, and it’s my fault”
“It’s not your fault, okay? It could’ve happened to you or him. Leon knows what he does, and I’m sure he did that to protect you" Chris tries his best to comfort you, although it seems impossible at the moment. He still holds you tight, for which you are very grateful, because you know you’ll fall if he lets you go.
Leon had no one in his life. You knew that the moment he told you about the ring. The “family” he had consisted of Chris and Claire, Jill, and Rebecca. You had no room for this. Leon made that pretty clear years ago, but now everything is different. You had to tell everyone what went wrong, how he got injured, and why it ended like that. You had to describe the entire mission, you had to remember everything. Now you were sitting again, with Claire holding your hand, while Jill and Chris were talking with Rebecca. Your eyes were locked on your hands, still stained with his blood. You were completely shocked, with no reaction or words.
“He’ll wake up, I know he will,” Claire whispers as a way to comfort you and give you kind words.
“He said he loves me,” you managed to say, although you doubted Claire would hear it. You wanted to hold onto something real, that would help you deal with what was happening.
“He always did, I’m glad he finally told you that,” Claire said, and you were a little surprised she heard you. More surprised to hear something you thought would never exist.
“But I don’t think that’s true. He always hated me.” You finally look at her, your eyes seeing something different from the dried blood in your hands.
“Do you think Leon is capable of hating you? He’s so in love with you, he can’t even hide it,” Claire said, and then she smiled largely while holding your hands.
But you find it hard to believe those words. Your mind was conflicted between what Claire was saying and what Leon said before he fainted. You wanted desperately to believe it, but deep down, you weren't sure. You finally received authorization to see him, with the benefit of being his “wife” and a government agent, but when you stepped inside his room, seeing all those loud machines around his body and a giant bandage on his ribs, his clothes were perfectly folded in the chair. His skin was pale and cold to the touch. He was almost lifeless, and seeing him like that made you sob again.
“I’m sorry… I never wanted to see you hurt,” you muttered, hoping he would hear it. You held his hand, praying he would wake up. “If you can hear me, then come back to us... I miss you fighting with me”
But there was nothing — not even a small squeeze on your hand. You were trying to convince yourself that he heard you and that he was coming back to you, and that was the lie you were desperately trying to believe. How silly you were. How desperate and pathetic you felt. It could be days, weeks, months, or years, how could you possibly predict when he would wake up? It was up to him.
“You won’t get rid of me that easily, Kennedy,” you said last, as a single tear fell from your eye. You wanted to be brave for him.
And as an answer, he squeezed your hand weakly.
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Three months later.
“Goddammit, this hurts!” Leon groaned angrily at you when you tried to remove the bandage from his ribs to clean it.
“Stop moving, asshole,” you said back, glancing at him and then rolling your eyes. “Then it won’t hurt”
“You’re so fucking gentle,” he muttered, taking a deep breath. You waited until he stopped moving so you could change the bandage.
“Hey, I’m not the one with open wounds,” you teased him, then finished removing the bandage, being extra careful with the stitches on his skin.
“How does it look?” Leon asks with a soft voice. You noticed that he never actually looked at the wound.
“Terrible, but healing,” you smiled kindly at him, cleaning around the wound with the antiseptic and the wet cotton. You saw his skin chilling, and soft groans coming from his mouth.
Leon hated seeing his scars. He hated having them; he hated knowing what caused them, which was why he barely sees himself in the mirror; he avoids his own image. One month ago, Leon woke up from his coma, and although he was very confused, at first, due to his brain injury, he had no memories of the mission or what happened before he got hurt. Chris had to explain everything to him like he was a toddler learning how to communicate.
“So… that was it,” Chris tells him, after explaining why he was in a hospital bed with a huge wound on his ribs.
“Shit… I’m tired,” Leon muttered, closing his eyes for a moment and trying to relax his beaten-up body on the bed. “Two months?”
“Yep. You slept like a baby,” Chris chuckled, making fun of the situation to lighten up his mood.
“Where is…” Leon started, as it seems pretty obvious that you weren’t there with Chris.
“Oh…” The smile on Chris’s lips disappeared slowly, and he became more serious, sitting more appropriately on the chair. “Well, um…”
For some unknown reason, Leon was anxious. He didn’t know why, but he felt eager to know why you weren’t there with him; he was sure he heard you say you missed him fighting with you, but at this point, he wasn’t sure if it was a dream or reality. And the way Chris kept looking at him made his heart beat ten thousand times faster. When Chris was about to tell Leon about you, someone knocked on the door, and when the person came inside, Leon felt disappointed to see it was a nurse with his medication.
“Mr. Redfield, you’ll have to leave now. The visiting hour ended a few minutes ago, and the patient needs to rest,” the nurse says, leaving the tray with Leon’s medication on his bedside table. Leon sighed, glancing at the window, while he laid his head on his pillow to rest.
“Before I go… I want you to have this,” Chris said, getting closer to his bed with something in his hand. Leon glanced back, curious. When Chris opened his hand, Leon saw his mother’s ring, and he felt sad. “You know, she was here with you the entire time”
“Then why is she not here now?” Leon asks, holding the ring in his hand and avoiding Chris’s gaze.
“Give time to time,” Redfield said before leaving his room.
Leon hated being in the hospital with different wires connected to his body. Nurses checked on him constantly, asking a lot of questions, taking him through thousands of exams to see if he was doing better or worse, and doing physiotherapy. They said the brain injury had damaged his body, and, besides the wound on his ribs, Leon had broken his arm and would have a disability in walking and doing normal things. Of course, with the proper therapy, he would walk again and have a normal life, but he needed to cooperate.
Leon had already convinced himself you didn’t care, but on the third week after he woke up, he was taken into another exam. One hour later, when he came back to his room, he found you asleep on the chair, wrapped around your jumper, seeming tired to the bones. The nurse helped him lay back on his bed, and he remained silent, just watching you sleep. He wanted to keep every detail about you, even the small ones. Suddenly, you moved on the chair and woke up, yawning. Nothing he had rehearsed in his head prepared him for this moment.
He had given up on hope, he thought you would never see him again. Maybe you had found another partner, or maybe you had moved on with your life. Perhaps you just didn’t care about him. Maybe and more maybe…
"Hey,” you said, noticing he was too shocked to even pronounce a word. “How are you?”
“Fine, I guess,” he managed to say, and he wanted to punch himself because he sounded very rude. “That’s not what I meant…”
But, to his surprise, you just smiled. Chris told you about his amnesia, he told you that Leon wouldn’t be able to walk for a long time because of the damage to his brain from the injury. You were hoping he didn’t remember what happened before he fainted that day. It would be easier for both of you.
“I came here because Chris told me you woke up, I wasn’t in the country, so…” you said, feeling your cheeks blush a little. He nodded quietly, and the expression on his face told you he was sad. “I had to finish our last mission. Do you remember anything?”
“Not so much, everything is a little messed up, and every time I try to remember something, my head hurts,” he says, taking a deep breath and laying his head on the pillow again. “I remember me in front of your apartment telling you about our mission; I remember giving you my mother’s ring; and the fight we had at the airport… I remember a few things from the hotel we were at, but nothing more… Sometimes I have a few flashbacks. I remember getting hurt trying to get our comms back, breaking my arm, but..."
“It’s okay, don’t force yourself. You know you’ll remember eventually,” you said to him, trying to give some comfort. “You’re alive and recovering, that’s all that matters now, Leon”
“It sucks being here… I want to go home, but people keep telling me I’m better here and that medical bullshit,” he sighs, then he looks outside his window again.
“About that… I’m here to offer something,” you said to him, already thinking it would be a terrible idea.
“What would that be?” he asks you, raising both of his eyebrows in a slightly curious tone.
“Come live with me…” you simply said, shaking both of your shoulders like it was the most normal thing in the world. “Until you recover, of course”
At first, having him live with you proved to be a difficult task, mostly because Leon thought he was a burden and strongly avoided his appointments. In his head, he could treat himself alone, he could take care of his wounds and do the chores in the house. However, he could barely leave the bed, and he complained every time you tried to convince him to attend his appointments. Even Chris tried to coax him into getting out of the house, but Leon refused like a pampered kid. It was very difficult.
“You know I can’t do everything on my own, right?” you asked him after finishing changing and cleaning the wound on his rib.
“I know, but… I’m sorry,” he says with a deep sigh, looking at you with guilt. “I know I’m making this more difficult than it should be…”
“It’s not your fault, but I really need you to understand that sometimes even the toughest agent needs help. You can’t avoid medical care forever, Leon,” you said, looking straight into his eyes.
“I’m an asshole, right?” He managed to smile a little, then he looked at you. “I never thanked you for taking care of me”
“What can I say? You didn’t make things easier, either.” You smiled at him, looking into his blue eyes.
“I have something I need to tell you,” Leon whispers, then bites his lower lip and avoids your eyes.
“Shoot me”
“I… remember what happened… before the coma. I remember the mission,” he says, finally taking the courage to look into your eyes. You decided to stay calm, but not cold. “I was scared, I never thought I would almost die… but then you were there with me, and I felt at peace”
“Why did you give me your mother’s ring?” you decided to ask. You needed to understand.
“Because it was personal, I wanted you to have something personal from me… I knew one day I would come close to death trying to get your ass out of danger, and I thought you would feel better having something mine,” he explained, and then, everything made sense. He truly cared about you.
“You’re such a fucking idiot, Kennedy.” You smiled at him, then you laughed.
“Hey… what’s wrong? Are you okay?” you asked after knocking on his door. He glanced at you, his eyes swollen after crying for God knows how long.
This entire month that you took care of him was enough to learn how to read him. Before, he was pure mystery — the person who hated you the most. Now you know when he’s happy, angry, or uncomfortable. You know how to decipher him, read his face, and understand how he feels.
Leon still sleeps in the guest’s room, but sometimes you can hear him wince and cry, and sometimes you can hear him sobbing. You woke up to the sound of him crying and decided to finally ask. You had been wondering for weeks, thinking he wouldn’t talk about this subject. But you needed to try it, anyway.
“I… it’s nothing, I’m okay,” he said, quickly wiping the tears from his eyes.
“C’mon, you can talk to me. We’re friends now,” you say again, sitting on the edge of his bed and smiling.
“It’s just a silly nightmare…” Leon whispers softly, looking at his arm plaster. You had signed your name on it, followed by Chris, Claire, Jill, and Rebecca. “It’s Raccoon City. The same night over and over again”
“You were there? I’m surprised,” you said to him, and he smirked slightly.
“I was a rookie cop, late as hell on my first day. I had recently graduated from the Police Academy,” Leon explains, gazing at the ceiling, then at you again. “I survived that night, met Claire, saved Sherry… then, they forced me to work for them, and here I am”
“Forced? What do you mean?” You raised your eyebrows, confused.
“It was a deal I made to keep Sherry safe… I never told this to anyone,” Leon whispers, and you imagine how cruel it was for him to be forced to work all those years for the government. “How about you? How did you end up being an agent?”
“Before the government, I was in the army. Special Forces. I worked with Task 141 across the earth, until I decided to leave before things went to shit” you tell Leon, which makes him glance at you completely surprised. “I miss my buddies Price, Roach, Soap, and Ghost”
“It’s so weird to think how our lives were different… I was forced to join the government, you decided to do it for yourself…” Leon whispers, analyzing his own choices in life. “Now I can truly understand why you work the way you do…”
“I made a lot of bad choices, I’ll admit that. But after everything I did in the past… you actually get used to your own method of working,” you say to him, hugging your legs. “Maybe that’s why I do things the way I do. I like the adrenaline and danger that come with it”
“I’m sorry for calling you reckless,” Leon said after a brief moment of silence.
“That’s okay, trust me. I've heard worse things before,” you chuckled.
Leon seemed more calm, although his eyes were still red and swollen. You heard the first drops of rain hitting his window, and the noise of the lightning outside announced the rain. For a moment, there was only silence between the two of you.
“I hate this stupid arm plaster,” Leon suddenly says, and then you laugh.
“But there are our names signed on it. And I made a drawing when you were asleep” You showed him the drawing you made. It was a cat and a few flowers.
“Flowers? Really?” Leon frowned, glancing at you.
His last appointment provided good news. His ribs seemed to be healing, and soon he would be able to remove the arm plaster. After the appointment, you drove Leon to his physiotherapy session, and for the first time after he woke up from the coma, he finally decided to cooperate with himself. For some unknown reason, he wasn’t grumpy today.
“What? They’re cute!” you protested while laughing at his reaction. “But I’m serious, you need to sleep now. Tomorrow you have that physiotherapy session and an appointment”
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“Well, if you keep doing home exercises, soon you’ll be fully recovered,” the doctor tells him, sitting in front of you two.
“Home exercises?” Leon asks, looking briefly at you, knowing you would definitely force him to do his exercises.
“Yes. It’ll help ease the pain and help with your mobility.” She nods, noting something on the paper. “And, most important, you can’t avoid your appointments, Mr. Kennedy”
“Yeah… I’ll keep coming,” he said, his entire face red as a tomato.
When you drove him back home, he certainly wasn’t expecting a surprise from your little family. Claire, Rebecca and Jill decorated your entire apartment, while Chris went to buy food and drinks. Because of the thousands of pills he was taking, Leon wasn’t allowed to drink any alcohol, which you gladly thanked him for. He was better sober than drunk.
The smile on his lips and the way his eyes were shining were more than he could put into words. You noticed that Claire even bought party letter decorations that were hanging from your ceiling, with the sentence ‘Happy Birthday, Leon’ in blue and yellow.
“Come on, you guys gotta be kidding me” he laughs with happiness, hugging everyone carefully.
“What? You really thought we would forget your birthday, golden boy?” you tease him, drinking soda and giving him one cup.
“This is… amazing” Leon seemed lost in his own words. “I don’t deserve you guys”
After singing him the birthday song, you guys celebrated his birthday with those blue birthday hats and a special cake the girls baked for him. Chris was talking to him, while you and Rebecca were chatting about types of coffee. Jill and Claire seemed to be very focused on their own conversation about TerraSave.
“Guys… I wanted to thank everyone. I know sometimes I’m a pain in the ass, but after everything that happened to me in the past three months, I have a lot to thank for… especially you.” Leon glances at you with shyness. “You took me into your home, took care of me, and had to hear every stupid joke I made, even my grumpy humor”
“That was the hard part, believe me,” you say, winking at him, which makes everyone laugh.
“I know. I was a jerk, and we had a lot of arguments with each other, but recently I found out that…” he paused for a moment, certainly thinking about what to say. “Life can be shitty sometimes, and bad things can happen to us… and this last mission made me see things I thought would never happen to me. I nearly died, but I got a second chance, and I don’t intend to waste it”
You knew exactly what he was talking about. Living with him for the past three months proved to be an interesting task. You knew him, and that was enough. Hours later, it was only you and him, sitting on your couch as the rain struck against the window. The fireplace gives off a warm temperature inside the living room, and, despite the silence, you two are more connected than before.
“I must say, there’s one thing I’m sure won't change,” Leon laughs, looking at his hands, after a long time of silence. “Being almost killed truly made me see things…”
“Such as?” You lifted your head to look at him.
“First, I actually never asked to be reassigned to another partner. I only told you that because I wanted to see how you would react” he said, looking at you. “And…”
“What's the second?” You laugh at his confession, mostly because you knew that a long time ago.
“The second is… I really hate the way that I love you”
909 notes · View notes
moongreenlight · 6 months
Note
GIRLIE PLS I NEED MORE YOUNG HOUSEWIFE x PRICE 😭😭
Instead of starting every ask response with “sorry it took me so long to get to this I suck” I’m just going to issue a blanket statement that I have like 45+ asks in my inbox rn and I get so overwhelmed looking at them that I just ignore them until I need to write something. I love you all for messaging me I love hearing your ideas and compliments please don’t stop sending them just bear with me as I sift through them. <3
Also- I got legit death threats on my first post like this. I’d like to make this ABUNDANTLY CLEAR that this is a LEGAL AGE GAP. It’s not grooming, it’s not predatory, it’s ENTIRELY LEGAL. You’re early twenties. He’s mid-to-late-thirties. Please do not bite my head off.
Anyway I’m back on my Price and his young housewife bullshit below the cut. Xoxoxo
Here’s the OG post if you need a refresher
Mdni. Nsfw below cut.
There’s this scene in the MW3 campaign where Price and Farah are talking about where she got the missiles from and he’s trying to shoulder up with her, but she just shuts him down in the end. (Like always I hope you’ll trust me. Implicitly) (John Price the man that you are!!!!!!) and I really think that’s the household dynamic. He’s always the biggest in the room, but he’s got this incredible reverence and respect for women who can out-bitch him. Bends his rigid spine BACKWARDS for you. Would move mountains if you’d only ask.
Doesn’t always have to be serious things. Like maybe you’ve made friends with some moms in the neighborhood (it’s a point of pride for him that they’re all minimum 5 years older than you.) and they all go to this obscenely expensive Pilates class at six in the morning. You mention in passing that you’re signing up and the suburban white dad in him makes his ears perk.
“‘N how much ‘s this class going to cost me?”
“Dunno. Think it just goes on the account.”
“Course. Gym membership doesn’t cost enough as it is.”
And then all it takes is him seeing you in a matching workout set for all of his protest to die down. For SURE makes a comment about how he ‘didn’t know it’d be this worthwhile’
Loosely following that point, I think any real arguments get hostile very quickly. He’s not so egotistical that he won’t apologize, but I’m certain that it’s like pulling teeth to get him to that point. He can hold a grudge unlike anything you’ve ever seen. Borders heavily on immature when the two of you are in the thick of things. Starts shit just to start shit. (Secretly because he just loves makeup sex. Would rather eat you out until you’re sobbing than actually say the words “I’m sorry.”)
Having thoughts about him bringing you to some military ball. The both of you dressing up and sliding into the car that was sent for you just to sit on opposite ends of the backseat and not speak a single word. He burns through a cigar in record time and you toss back a few glasses of champagne. You both put on appearances getting out of the car. Hook your hand around his bicep while he shoves you inside with his hand on the small of your back. Hissing nasty quips back and forth about making this quick. Few hellos. Show your faces and then you can get home and get away from each other. Putting on appearances only goes so far, though, because when John is pissed- everyone feels it. Sucks the life out of a room and replaces it with an eerie feeling like a bomb’s about to go off.
He leaves you alone with a few other wives. Pulled away by Laswell with a promise of a ‘quick’ meeting. He comes back half an hour later fuming when he sees that somehow you’ve been pulled away from where he left you and found company chatting with his boys at the bar.
He gruffs some greetings before dragging you away by the arm so roughly that you have to stifle a yip.
“Are we leaving?”
“No.”
“So what is it, John? You’re making everyone think we’re miserable.”
“We are miserable.”
He’s yet to stop yanking you away. You have to do an awkward half-jog to follow him down a short hallway just outside the washrooms.
“Christ, would you just-“
“You look like a slag in that dress.”
He about throws you straight into the corner at the end of the hall. Muscles in his jaw ticking under the force that he’s using to grit his teeth.
“Sorry?”
His lips are brushing the shell of your ear. Bullying you further back into the wall. You’re entirely taken aback by his ferocity; especially because he usually prefers you wear something much more revealing than this. Some twisted point of pride, him seeing all the men your age drooling over you even after knowing you’re on his arm.
“Ought to let the boys pass you around. See if that won’t sort out that fucking attitude of yours.”
Theres some more protest from you, but it was entirely useless given how worked up he was. He ends up making good on his threat and shoving you into Ghost’s side when he brings you back out. He says something, but you can barely hear it over the blood rushing in your ears. Though you assume it’s a half-warning, half-explanation by the way Ghost snakes an arm loosely around your waist and gives a sharp nod. You get off relatively easy all things considered because Ghost is the only one smart enough not to take Price’s words at face value and sneak you away to some coat closet. That’s a permission granted only when John was present and in his right mind.
I cannot stress enough how much it gets him off to see you pregnant. Not like sexually, but he is nothing if not a glutton when it comes to feeding his ego. Likes it when you wear shirts that hug your swollen belly tight so he can see exactly how much your body is changing. Even better if they’re crop-tops that show off the skin that’s now littered with stretch-marks from growing his babies.
I have been saying this, but just to make it clear, he wants a small army of children. Like enough to have one of those trashy reality TV shows about how many kids you have. (In reality I’m getting 4/5 kids in total vibes) Loves coming home from work and seeing you carefully stirring a big pot on the stove while bouncing a baby on your hip, pulling a clingy toddler around on your leg, and situating your school-aged kids with their homework at the table.
But he most definitely hires a live-in nanny to help you out. Knows it’s not fair to leave you with that kind of responsibility. But also it just makes him so hot to see you mothering his kids that he needs to be able to take you away and not have to scramble to find something to occupy the kids.
Makes the nanny take over bath time more often than not so the two of you can take a bubble bath yourselves. He loves the casual intimacy of pouring two glasses of wine and having thirty or forty minutes to yourselves.
Having this visual of you before you’ve started having kids sitting in the tub after being strangely quiet all night. He offers you a heavily-poured glass of red and you’re a little glassy-eyed and staring up at him but making no move to take it.
“You alright, doll?”
“Mm?”
“Said you alright? Don’t want a drink?”
A long moment of silence from you. Long enough for him to perch on the rim of the tub and gently tip you up to look at him by putting a few fingers under your chin.
“John, I think I’m pregnant.”
“So no drink, then.”
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sorbetisfruity · 1 year
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Crowley was supposed to find us a way home, right?
Listen, you love this world. You love all of the friends and memories you’ve made.
But you miss your family and friends back in your old world.
You miss your home and home cooked food, and all of the games you have and your comfy bed:((((
You miss not having to take care of an entire schools problems one by one.
You miss home.
The worst part about all of this is that he hasn’t been searching for a way home for you!! At all!!!
He doesn’t want you to go!!
Or, even worse, he has found a way home for you.
He just hasn’t told you because he doesn’t want you to leave. And you won’t be leaving on his watch. You’re too important to the school, to all your peers, to him.
You’re like a daughter/son/kid to him!!!
He’s not gonna let you leave THAT easily.
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It’s after Vils overblot, and you are worn out. You are sick of all of this. You are tired and covered in bruises and burns. You are tired of getting hurt practically every day for this bullshit.
You walk into Crowleys office the next day, limping slightly due to Vil pretty much kicking your ass.
“Crowley.” You say, shutting the door behind you.
“Prefect!! Why, it’s lovely to see you! How are you doing?” He says joyously, not bothering to look up at you.
“I’m-” “That’s fantastic!! I’m glad you’re doing so well!” He interrupts, not letting you get a word out.
“So, I need you to-”
“No. Crowley I NEED you to listen to me.” You shut him up instantly, not wanting to run his stupid errands in your current state.
(Or in general.)
“Well, what do you need Prefect? I’ll give you anything you need!! For I am ever so gracious!”
“I want to go home.”
And as soon as the words leave your mouth, he starts sweating and begins to panic inside. He doesn’t want you to leave!! He needs you! Why would you want to leave? You have so many friends here!! What about them? What about him? What about your teachers?
“Have you even been searching for a way to get me home this entire time?” You put your hands on his desk, glaring at him, “Don’t say you’ve been busy with your paperwork. Half the time you make ME do your stupid paperwork.”
“Uhm..unfortunately no..I haven’t had much time with all the overblots and all!! Those keep me very busy!” He nervously laughed as you continued to glare.
“What?! Dude, you don’t solve those overblots!! I do!! I always do! I’ve solved every single god damn problem thrown at me since I was pushed into this school! I’ve made sure your students don’t get hurt or, even worse, DIE thanks to these overblots!!!”
“I could’ve died last night Crowley. I could have DIED. I’m limping and covered in cuts and bruises!! Yet I still came to fucking school today. Yet I still had some type of fucking HOPE that you’ve been searching for a way to get me home!”
“Maybe you don’t want me to leave!! Maybe, just maybe, you wanna keep me here forever!! That way you never have to deal with your students problems again! Because instead of coming to you, they’ll just pile it onto me! Is that you want you want, Crowley? Huh? Is that fucking it?”
Tears poured out of your eyes like waterfalls as you ranted and yelled, throwing your hands up in the air as you let everything out.
Crowley stared in disbelief, not knowing what to do or what he should do.
He’s never had a student come into his office, yell and scream at him, and then bawl their eyes out before.
You collapsed onto your knees, breathing heavily as you tried to catch your breath.
You felt like you were choking on the air you desperately needed. All you could taste was the saltiness of your tears, and all you could hear were your own sobs.
“It’s not fair Crowley…I’ve done so much for this school and I get NOTHING! Absolutely NOTHING!!! It’s bullshit! I wanna go home…..I want all of this suffering to stop….” You screamed, digging your fingers into the carpet you sat upon.
Then, the office was filled with silence.
Crowley didn’t know what to say.
Should he apologize? Should he tell you the truth?
What should he do??…
“…prefect I-”
“Save it. I’m fucking done Crowley. I’m so fucking done..” You cut him off, struggling to stand up.
Everything hurt. You were light headed and your eyes were blurry. Your legs felt like jelly and your head hurt worse than before you came in.
Before you knew it, you collapsed. You world went black as your head hit the carpet below you.
The last thing you heard was Crowley screaming, frantically calling for the nurse, and the footsteps of people rushing in.
Why is it always You?
2K notes · View notes
callmerainman · 2 months
Text
NEVER LET ME GO | Adam x fem!angel!Reader
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plot. it's official, you're in love with Adam. and it's also official, that you fucking hate him.
word count. 700 - drabble
tags. major character death, grief, angst, loss, mourning, crying, falling in love, established relationship, hurt no comfort, Adam and Reader are in love, beginning heavily inspired by 500 Days of Summer.
I think it’s official. I’m in love with Adam. I love his smile. I love his messy, brown hair. I love the shade of black under his eyes. And I love his golden irises too. I love his mask, and the way he only takes it off in public just to kiss me. I love how he licks his lips while he’s focused on practicing electric guitar. And I love the sound of his whole-hearted laughs, often at his own jokes. I love the way he looks when he’s sleeping, because it’s one of the few times his face is relaxed. I love how he dedicates me songs and serenades them for me with his guitar, even if the lyrics can be vulgar. I love his humor, which is over the top but I can’t help it, he makes me laugh. And I love the way he makes love to me, he’s intense but also occasionally so tender, whispering praises in my ear and telling me how glad he is that for once, he found someone that wouldn’t leave his side. I love how he makes me feel. Like...anything’s possible. Like living in eternity is worth it.
I hate Adam. I hate his shit-eating grin. I hate his scrawny haircut. I hate the bags under his eyes that make him look like an insomniac. And I hate his piss-colored irises too. I hate his stupid mask, and the way he takes it off in public only when he has to kiss me like he thinks he's too special to be seen. I hate the way he wets his lips while he’s focused on playing the electric guitar, it’s unnecessary. I hate his annoying laugh, why laughing at your own jokes if they aren't even funny. I hate the way he sleeps with his mouth open and snores. I hate the stupid songs he dedicates me, the lyrics make no sense. I hate his childish humor, he talks like he just learned curse words. I hate the way he makes love to me, talking to me nicely as if he isn’t a jerk. And I fucking hate the way he’s making me feel. Because I hate the fact that Adam’s not here anymore and that I can’t live an eternity with him.
---
“You’re (Y/N), right?”.
I look up, my lips pressed close together. Lute, Adam’s second in command and best friend, is looking at me. The sound of waves crushing against the shoreline is invasive. The sun is setting on the beach and it glares behind her frame. I unwrap my arms from around my curled legs, and I tuck my wings on my sides.
“Yeah, it’s me” I say, stoic.
My brows are furrowed and my stare is serious. She’s reciprocating with the same, cold look.
“You were Adam’s closest affection, weren’t you?” Lute asks.
I scoff, shrugging my shoulders “I wouldn’t say that”.
Lute looks at me with a deep scowl. Her face morphs in annoyance, she didn’t like that. Without a word, I get up, sprinkles of sand rolling down my thighs and wings. I plant myself in front of her, sustaining her burning eyes.
“You two were together" she says.
“We weren't”
“Stop bullshitting me”
“I barely knew him”
“Adam loved you!” Lute snaps, and I flinch in surprise, my lips slightly falling open “Adam loved you and you loved him”.
She steps closer, she would look menacing if it wasn’t for the evident, deep-rooted pain in her eyes. The same I’m experiencing, and she knows that. She grits her teeth, and unexpectedly shoves something in my chest with her only arm.
“So you better drop the fucking tough girl act” she hisses “and mourn him properly”.
Lute’s furious look lingers on me a little longer. It almost looks pitiful, but I think she’s trying to tell me in every way possible that she’s feeling nothing but the same things as me. Then, she lets go of the hold she had on whatever I’m clutching to my chest now, and walks away without another word. I look down. The moment I realize what I’m holding, my brows shoot upwards.
Adam’s halo. It lost its glow, forever. Now is just a pale imitation of what its holder was before. Then, my knees give up, and I fall on them. Holding the halo close to my chest, I finally let tears invade my eyes and roll down my cheeks as I can’t stop sobbing furiously. I fucking hate Adam. I hate him because I loved him and now he can’t be here anymore.
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luxaofhesperides · 6 months
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Surprise husbands + "How are you real?" ; requested by @vehan-tikkun-olam-and-stuff!
They may not have planned to get married, or even wanted it all too much at the beginning, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t going to treat each other right. It was rough going, with both of them coming out of relationships and having secret identities, but time had softened the hurt feelings and allowed them to actually get to know each other.
And Danny, Duke has discovered, is a really good husband. 
Neither of them ever saw themselves as married at 20, but sometimes life throws horrible curses at you and the embodiment of balance and life and death swoops in to save your life. Via marriage. 
His life is weird, okay? Duke has made his peace with it.
The thing is, if they had met naturally and started off as friends, Duke could see himself falling for Danny and asking him to marry him in a far off future. Instead, they’re doing everything backwards: married, then going on dates to know each other, and finally feeling close enough to be friends. 
It helps that Danny does his best to communicate and that helps Duke find the words he needs as well. 
He’s sweet, too, so kind and doting and affectionate. Like a really lovable cat, honestly. Duke’s never been cuddled so much in his life and he’s loving every minute of it. 
He… might be falling in love with his husband. What a revelation.
“Duke?” 
He blinks, looking up from his half-empty plate, pulled out of his thoughts suddenly. Tim and Dick stare at him, concerned, and he realizes he’s missed the entire conversation because he was so preoccupied thinking about Danny. In his defense, it was their one year anniversary the night before and Danny had kissed him for the first time after a date night spent playing video games and talking shit about their respective rogues. 
Tim snaps a finger in front of his face, and Duke startles. He got distracted by his Danny Thoughts again.
“Yeah, what’s up?”
“You okay? You’ve been out of it all day,” Dick says, clearly concerned.
“Oh, uh, yeah, it’s all good. Just… adjusting.”
“To what? Did something happen?”
Duke shrugs, scooping up another forkful of pasta to shove in his mouth. “Yeah, I… this is going to sound kind of stupid, but I think I’m in love with my husband.”
Tim, taking an ill-timed drink, chokes and spits out his Zesti. Dick springs back, trying to get out of the spray zone but doesn’t move far, shocked still by Duke’s words.
“Oh, yeah,” Duke realizes, “I didn’t tell you guys, did I?”
“You’re married?!” Tim shrieks as Dick clutches at his chest, eyes wide.
“You didn’t tell me?” Dick asks, offended.
“Seriously? That’s what you focus on?”
Duke smiles as they begin to bicker. They do it constantly, but this time it’s halfhearted, as if they’re just going through the motions of something familiar to distract themselves from the bomb he’s dropped on them.
In all fairness, Duke did forget that he didn’t tell them that he’s married to Danny. He’s also only mentioned Danny once or twice and heavily implied that Danny was just a classmate at GCU. And then forgot that he didn’t tell them, assuming that they’d figure it out eventually being Batman trained detectives, after all.
Well. 
Oops.
Clearly that is not the case. Duke hurries to finish his pasta before Tim and Dick finish their joint freak out and get their senses back together enough to interrogate him. He can’t escape it, but he refuses to have this discussion with an empty stomach. 
He just barely manages to scrape the last mouthful off the plate when his fork is being yanked out of his hands. Tim and Dick close in on him, standing to either side of him, trapping him in place, and look at him with knife-sharp smiles.
Here we go, Duke thinks tiredly, and resigns himself to clearing up this misunderstanding.
Somehow, he manages to explain the situation (I got cursed, he saved my life, we ended up married because magic is bullshit, he treats me so well) and Tim and Dick both agree to not hunt down Danny to show him the wrath of older brothers on one condition: Danny has to join them for a family dinner.
“Don’t worry, we’ll catch everyone up on your… situation,” Dick says, pulling on his jacket to head out. Tim is already on his phone, no doubt telling someone already. 
“Great,” Duke says, unenthused. “You’ll also be answering all the questions because I’m not in the mood. So if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to figure out a day that works for all of us, and then I’m going to kick my husband’s ass in Mario Cart.”
He walks out the door, grinning as he hears them scramble after him, then twists the ring on his finger (not a wedding ring, but a magic portal making gift) and steps into the portal. It closes quietly behind him, leaving him in Danny’s lair, a comfortable, spacious house with high ceilings and little bits of his personality scattered about. There are soft rugs with geometric patterns on them, star maps on the wall, stained glass windows that throw colors across the floor, and a giant couch and pillow pit in the living room.
Danny’s asleep in it, curled up and looking completely at peace. Duke toes off his shoes and carefully makes his way over, footsteps silent so he doesn’t wake him up, all plans of Mario Cart fading away instantly.
Danny doesn’t get much sleep, with the stress of school and an internship and ghost fights to worry about. It’s why his lair is so quiet and comfortable; it’s what he needs, and he doesn’t let anyone else in without invitation, rare as it is.
Duke is allowed to waltz right in thanks to the ring Danny gave him. It never stops making him feel overwhelmed by how much trust Danny puts in him to allow him unlimited access to what is his only true sanctuary, letting his lair be a place of safety and respite for Duke as well. 
He crawls into the pillow pit, There’s no way to do this without waking Danny up since he can’t fly, so he isn’t surprised to see Danny blink his eyes open, still looking soft and content. He smiles when he sees Duke, reaching a hand out to him that Duke gladly takes, bringing it up to his mouth to kiss his palm.
Sitting up, Danny tilts his head up in a silent request. Duke happily obliges, still reeling over the fact that he’s allowed to do this! He can kiss his husband whenever he wants! 
Yeah, he’s going to be riding that high for a while.
“Hey,” Danny murmurs, sleepy and quietly pleased to see him.
“Hi honey,” Duke returns fondly, “Have a nice nap?”
Danny nods, leaning into Duke and closing his eyes again. “Mhm. How long are you staying? I wanna cuddle.”
“I got nothing going on today. I’m all yours, baby.”
“C’mon,” Danny tries to tug him down. Duke goes slowly, covering Danny’s body with his own, but holds himself with one hand before he blankets his husband completely.
“Wait. There’s something we need to talk about.”
Immediately, the sleepy haze is fading from Danny’s eyes, leaving him alert. “What’s up? Is something wrong?”
“Not really? You know how we agreed to keep our marriage a secret until we weren’t in danger anymore and all those cultists and sorcerers were taken care of?”
“...Yes?”
“Well.” Duke sucks in a breath and offers a bashful smile. “Guess who forgot to tell people we were married after that whole mess was dealt with?”
The nervousness clears from Danny’s gaze as he stares up at Duke with incredulous amusement. “No. No way.”
“Yeah. Kinda dropped a bomb on them and they started freaking out over me being married. Anyways, they want you to come to dinner?”
“When?”
Duke leans back, sitting on his heels. “Let me check.” He pulls out his phone and sends a quick text to the group chat asking for a day they could have a family meal to meet his husband.
His phone is bombarded with texts and calls immediately until Barbara, bless her entire soul, forcibly mutes all of them and puts in a poll with a few dates, setting the poll to close in 24 hours.
“Okay, well, they’re deciding now, but probably soon.”
Danny nods. “Alright. I know these aren’t normal circumstances at all, but I’m so excited to meet the Bats.”
“You do not mean that after hearing all my stories about them.”
“No, I do!” Danny laughs, surging up to wrap his arms around Duke and pull him back down to lay among the giant pillows with him. “They sound nice!”
“The Bats sound nice?!” Duke repeats in horror. “Did you hit your head?”
“They do sound nice! You talk about them so fondly, and yeah they have problems and are dysfunctional, but they’re heroes. Of course they have problems. Even with all their baggage, they’re kind. And you clearly love them, so I do too.”
It’s hard to resist the urge to hug Danny tight enough to make him squeak while peppering his face with kisses, so Duke doesn’t. He just goes and does it, because he’s allowed to shower his husband (!) with affection (!!!) as much as he pleases.
“How are you real?” he says against the corner of Danny’s lips. “How are you so perfect! To me specifically! Honey, if we weren’t already married, I’d be going down on one knee right now.”
“I mean, you still can. We never got a proper wedding either. Think if we offer them a chance to help plan our wedding, they’ll forgive us for secretly being married for so long?”
“Oh, absolutely,” Duke says. He’s already giddy, just imagining what their wedding will look like, what song they’ll play for their first dance, where they’ll have the ceremony… He should create a Pinterest account to start putting ideas together. 
Later, though. He wants to woo Danny properly and take him on so many dates.
Dates which include dinner with the Waynes and Wayne-adjacents, apparently.
“You sure you’re okay with meeting them over dinner?” he asks, just to be sure. He knows how intense they can be, even when pretending to be normal civilians. It took him years to get used to them, himself, and he doesn’t want to push Danny into doing something he’s not ready to do.
Danny cups Duke’s face in his hands and gives him a quick, reassuring kiss. “I’m sure. If nothing else, it’ll be fun to see how long it takes for them to realize I’m not fully human.”
“I really am glad it’s you.”
“Yeah, me too. I’d choose you all over again if given the choice.”
“Took the words right out of my mouth,” Duke laughs, wrapping an arm around Danny’s waist.
“Can we nap now? Now that you’re here and holding me, it’s taking everything I’ve got to stay awake.”
“Yeah, we can nap now.” Duke settles into the pillows, Danny cradled in his arms and closes his eyes to bask in the quiet easiness of it all. 
He really couldn’t ask for a better husband, unexpected as he was. The others will see that too, once they meet him. It’s impossible to not love Danny once you meet him; Duke knows this all too well.
He loves his husband.
And his husband loves him back.
Duke is fully prepared to keep making that choice for the rest of his life.
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vminizzle · 1 year
Text
Unplanned night
pairing : husband!jungkook x f.reader
genre : angst, smut
warnings : soft dom!jungkook, jealous!reader (not that jealous tho), argument, teasing, pet names, swearing, sexting?, cybersex?, voyeurism, masturbation, marking, manhandling, praising, slight chocking, penetration, unprotected sex, doggy style, missionary, mirror sex, multiple orgasms (3), overstimulation, creampie, cockwarming. ( lot of words had been repeated sorry 💀 that’s actually embarrassing.) HONESTLY I DON’T KNOW WHAT IS THIS FIC SORRY
words count : 3.8k
A/N : hello hello, i hope you all doing fine. I felt like I haven’t posted in awhile even tho I posted there are a few days ago. well, here a little something I just wrote in my car while waiting for my next course in uni, because I’m introverted and I don’t interact with human irl. I rather stay in my car lmao. THIS is ACTUALLY the messiest thing I’ve ever wrote, but I hope you’ll like it tho, decided to change a bit. REMINDER : POOR ENGLISH. Love y’all !! -sunny
Heavily unedited!!
FEEDBACKS ARE WELCOMED 🦋
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M RATED
"Oh c’mon don’t act like you’re innocent." you rolled your eyes.
"you’re exaggerating." he shook his head exasperated, throwing the keys on the counter.
Jungkook and you just came back home from a dinner with your friends, the evening was going well until one of your old college classmate joined you. She invited herself at your table without any shame.
Not only she was annoying but she was flirting with your husband.
"you flirted back!" you pointed at him as he followed you to the living room.
"now you’re just saying bullshit!" 
"C’mon if I wasn’t there she’d had sit on your lap! I had to put my hand on your thigh to remind her I was here, because she kept on touching you. She’s so fucking touchy and all, it irritated me!"
Jungkook sighed as he watched you stomping back and forth around the glass table.
"Listen, it’s not like that. You know I wouldn’t had let that happen-"
"wow that’s awesome! Should I congratulate you for saying that?" you threw your hands in the air dramatically.
"now, you’re gonna calm the fuck down because you’re getting annoying." he huffed at your behavior.
You stared at him speechless as he let his body drop on the couch.
"so i am annoying now?" you put your hands on your hips looking down at your husband, this one sighing heavily.
"It’s not like th-"
"It’s like what then?"
"You’re overreacting."
"she purposely tripped over you and that disrespectful slut kissed your neck!" you pointed toward his neck.
"that’s the collar of my fucking shirt!" he furrowed his eyebrows in disbelief.
"still! look at it! her ugly lipstick stained it."
"y/n." he started, resting his elbows on his knees, looking up at you.
"we’re not gonna argue because of that, are we?" he lifted an eyebrow up expectantly.
"I wouldn’t be arguing with you right now, if you didn’t opened your mouth to defend her." you crossed your arms over your chest angrily.
"what the fuck are you saying this time?! I didn’t even defend her!" he breathed deeply trying to keep his calm.
"you knew damn well she used to have a crush on you when we were in college but you didn’t put her in her place when she started flirting with you! She’s so shameless that she did it in front of me. Let me remind you that you’re married-"
"oh yea, the fuck I am." he rolled his eyes letting his body fall back on the couch again.
"what do you mean?" you furrowed your eyebrows.
"you don’t get it y/n. I didn’t flirt with her."
"it’s the way you talked to her. You still talked like we were in college. And when she touched you? You didn’t even moved! You let her do what she felt like." your grip on your purse tightening at the thought of it.
"I don’t want to argue with you princess, please let’s not. You probably misunderstood the situation. You know I love you and I wouldn’t flirt with anyone else than you, my wife." you gulped, his words making your heart beat slowly as you started feeling guilty.
But what you’ve seen tonight was just annoying. You just wanted to jump on her and choke her to death for touching your husband. You weren’t really the jealous type but there are limits to respect. And this woman crossed the line.
"but Jungkook, she knows damn well we’re married. Why would she acted like that?"
"maybe she was a bit too tipsy-"
"and again! you’re finding fucking excuses to defend her!" you threw your purse on him angrily, this one catching it midway to not get hit. 
You started walking away to the stairs making Jungkook groaned throwing the purse aside on the glass table annoyed.
"now where are you going?" he asked.
"bedroom. I don’t want to continue fighting with you tonight." you replied dryly.
"argh fuck it!" Jungkook threw his head back frustrated.
Usually, when you came back from a date or dinner with your friends, you both would come home in a good mood - a very good mood. 
Starting with slow little kisses at the front door, clothes on the floor in the living room as you both undress each other impatiently as you made your way upstairs to the bedroom.
But tonight, your plan have been changed.
Earlier, the ride was way too quiet, the atmosphere cold. No holding hands, only your husband stealing glances time to time at your angry figure sat next to him in the car.
Slamming the bedroom’s door and locking it, you made your way to the bed, sitting on the edge of it.
You stared into the void, thinking about your husband being close but not so close of you. He was in the house but it felt like he wasn’t here. It felt like he was far, really far away from you.
You didn’t wanted to be mad at him but his behavior got on your nerves. You weren’t even sure if he did something bad or not?
Did he? You hesitated.
Because letting another woman touch your arm and feeling "how strong you got since college" is not the best thing to let happen, right? On top of that, just next to your wife.
You stared at your phone, the screen showing your wallpaper, the beautiful picture of your wedding decorating it.
Suddenly, an idea popped in your mind. You’ve never done that before, but guess there is a first time to everything.
You decided to get on his nerves too. But in a better way. 
Jungkook is the type to get impatient over things he really wants. Things he wants right away if he had the chance to get it.
So teasing him was the best way to drive him mad. And on top of that, you’d get advantage from this little "punishment".
Jungkook grabbed his phone from his back pocket as he heard a notification.
He furrowed his eyebrows confused as he saw your name displayed on the screen.
y/n : [ attachment ] 
His eyes widened when he opened the message making him chock on his own saliva. He stopped breathing for a second, gulping as his eyes stayed glued on his screen.
"is she serious right now?" he pursed his lips not knowing how to feel.
He stood up walking upstairs to the bedroom.
"open the door." he knocked on the bedroom’s door firmly.
"no! I’m not gonna open." you replied calmly.
"I’m asking again. Open that fucking door y/n. I’m not playing." he knocked again impatient.
"I said no." you repeated confidently.
y/n : [ attachment ]
"why are you doing that?" he whined, resting his head on the marble separating you from him.
The "naughty" picture of you making him lose his mind.
Your beautiful body clamped in a black lingerie, sat on the carpeted floor on your knees facing the mirror, left hand cupping your bra covered breast, a small smirk decorating your pretty lips.
y/n : [ attachment ]
Jungkook gulped as he opened the new "punishment" you were "imposing" him.
Sat on the floor completely this time, still facing the big mirror, your left hand was now laying between your parted legs, covering the part where you needed him. 
&lt; your hand would had been much better but I’ll do with what I have. > 
Jungkook bit his bottom lip, the caption making blood rush down there.
"C’mon please. Open the door baby." he asked desperately.
"nope. go away. I won’t open it."
"fuck! you’re really stubborn when you want to."
He groaned going downstairs to the living room disappointed, he sat on the couch thinking about a way to make you open the door before he lose his patience and break it.
Suddenly, his phone rang pushing him out of his thoughts. He immediately grabbed it without any second thought.
[ FaceTime ] 
His thumb reacted faster than his brain as he pressed on the green button. 
"y/n why-"
Jungkook stopped when he saw you.
He closed his eyes shut tight, feeling his pants getting tighter.
You smirked as you stared at your husband’s reaction.
"why are you doing that?" he muttered literally in pain, lowering his head 
"why? hmm.. guess." you pursed your lips.
"I didn’t do anything." 
"if you say so." you shrugged.
"C’mon open the door please." he looked at his phone again, his eyes dark, staring at your half naked body.
You thought for a moment before shaking your head with a playful smile.
"gosh what do you want from me? beg? I’ll do anything you want baby." he whined making you smirk.
"aw you’re so cute when you’re needy." you tilted your head to the side feeling satisfied.
You put your laptop away from your lap, pushing it a bit farther on the bed from you. You sat on your knees, facing the device.
Jungkook stared at the screen, throat getting dry.
"do you like it?" you smiled cutely, referring to the lingerie adorning your body, hand sliding from your chest to your lower stomach.
"so much, you can’t even imagine." he whispered, eyes following your hand down resting on top of your thigh.
He gulped as your other hand went up to play with the strap of the bra.
"the straps are so thin, or is it just me?"
"they’re fine." he breathed out making you hummed.
"what about the panties? lacy, do you like it?" you smirked knowing well that’s what he loves.
His weakness.
"fuck honey stop teasing!" he groaned impatiently.
"shh, calm down." you put a finger on your own lips.
Your fingers hooked in the waistband of the lacy material, pulling it slowly aside showing how stretchy the underwear was.
"It seems so fragile." you said with a fake disappointed voice.
You bent down a little to look closer to the screen, showing a bit more of your cleavage on purpose.
Jungkook’s hand travelled down to his pants, resting it on his confined boner as he watched your own hand sliding down between your legs.
"it feels so good." you said as you drew little circles on your lightly covered clit making Jungkook moan lowly, hand pressing on his bulge.
"fuck." he laid himself more comfortably on the couch, eyes not leaving the screen. 
You closed your eyes as your hand travelled up to cup your breast firmly, your other hand still teasing you, rubbing slowly on your clit.
"take it off princess." he said making you looked at him.
"please."
You weren’t used to it, doing such thing. You tried your best to stay confident but your body was burning from how shy you felt at the moment.
"do it."
Your hands went behind your back, unhooking the bra throwing it on the carpeted floor.
"fuck yes." he started unbuttoning his shirt, getting rid of it as he felt hot.
Jungkook put his phone on the glass table, quickly unbuckling his belt, pushing his pants and boxer down at once.
Taking his device back, his eyes wandered all over your body.
You looked so beautiful. 
Jungkook knew you tried to act nonchalant, sure of what you were doing, so he decided to play along and make you feel more confortable.
"hey look at me.” he said softly.
"touch yourself."
You froze for a few seconds before he talked again.
"C’mon baby touch yourself for me." he said breathlessly as he grabbed his cock pumping it slowly.
"you’re so gorgeous, look how hard I am because of you." he hissed, his thumb teasing himself as he brushed it over the slit.
You opened your mouth, no words coming out when he lowered his phone, showing you what his hand was busy doing.
"take these off too pretty please." he ordered gently, eyes on the black garment covering you from him.
Jungkook always been like that.
Even when you tried to be in control, he always finds a way to take over.
It’s not that he doesn’t enjoy when you tried to be the one in control but you always end up whining for him to continue. And the way you’re so submissive for him always excited him.
You complied, hooking your fingers into the lacy material dragging it down your legs, discarding it away.
Your husband moaned at the view. The dimmed light enough to show your perfect features. 
"lay down and open your legs for me." his voice low.
You took a deep breath as you laid back on the pillow, parting your legs timidly.
"now touch yourself. show me how you do it. show me how you pleasure yourself."
"Jungkook." you whimpered as your fingers came in contact with your core.
"yes my love?" his hand still stroking his cock slowly, knowing you were lost already to answer him.
You slid two fingers between your glistening lips, teasing your entrance.
"put a finger in." he said between breaths.
Entering a finger slowly inside you, you grabbed on the sheet.
"put another one baby."
You let a breathy moan escaped from your mouth as you inserted another finger.
"good girl." he said eyes sparking at how submissive you were. 
"Imagine it’s my fingers." Jungkook watched with dark eyes as your fingers went in and out of you.
"yours are better." you whined as you went faster.
Jungkook moved his wrist faster too, tightening his fist around him.
"fuck princess you’re so fucking pretty."
You looked toward the laptop, watching as your husband pleasured himself, his eyes closed, mouth ajar, his head leaned back.
You moaned loudly as you rubbed your clit adding stimulation to push you closer to your orgasm.
"keep going baby." Jungkook encouraged you.
You threw your head back into the pillows as you felt it coming.
"Jungkook I’m-"
"Cum for me." he moaned loudly as he came on his hand, some landing on his lower stomach making him swear as he kept on stroking himself.
Your left hand went to play with your hardened nipple, your thumb flicking it.
You started clenching around your fingers as you came, moaning your husband’s name loudly.
"you did well darling." you heard Jungkook praised as you tried to catch your breath.
You stared at the laptop screen, eyes on him, the man staring at you too.
"fuck it." you groaned getting off the bed, grabbing the device and shutting it off.
Jungkook threw his phone away, getting rid of his pants and boxer pooling at his ankles as he rushed to the stairs to go to the bedroom.
You put the laptop on the furniture near the large mirror facing the bed before walking to the door, unlocking it.
Jungkook was about to knock on it when you opened it.
You looked into each other’s eyes, lust fogging each other’s mind.
You suddenly grabbed him by the back of his neck surprising him as you pulled him down on you, enveloping his lips in an eager kiss.
"god I fucking need you." Jungkook parted away pulling you on him, your chest pressed against his muscular one.
He bent down to kiss on your neck softly, sucking on the skin, your hands flat on his chest.
"Jungkook." you breathed hastily making him hummed.
"I want you."
"I knew you couldn’t resist me." he smirked making you look away embarrassed.
"and I can’t resist you either." he grinned lifting your face to look at your flustered face.
"you know I was about to break that fucking door to come make love to you when you sent me those pretty pictures." he grabbed you by your hips, your heart picking up the pace as he backed you to the bed.
"now that I’m here, I’ll take you as much as you can handle." he warned, his gaze a bit too serious.
He pushed you gently on the mattress, hovering over your bare body.
He attached his lips with yours, sucking on your tongue. You kissed him lovingly as your fingers made their to his hair.
His teeth pulled on your bottom lip as he detached from the heated kiss.
You felt his hard on pressing against the inside of your thigh making you feel aroused again.
Jungkook stood up, making you support yourself on your elbows, looking at him confused.
"on all fours. right now." he ordered with a too gentle voice for the current situation.
"what!?" you furrowed your eyebrows sitting up.
"I said, on all fours." he repeated approaching your frozen body. 
He lifted you up effortlessly, making you on your knees, hands in front of you as he positioned himself behind you.
"do you need prep or your little cam girl session earlier was enough?" he teased.
"fuck you." you muttered making him laugh.
Jungkook held your hip as he took his cock in his hand, aligning himself at your entrance.
He rubbed the head of it on your glistening lips making you whimpered.
"stop teasing."
"oh darling, you’re started it." he reminded.
"but since I’m way too impatient right now I won’t tease you." he sighed playfully as he moved forward.
"tell me to stop at any moment if it hurts or anything yea?"
"please do something." you pushed your bottom back on him, his hands stilling your hips.
Jungkook penetrated you painfully slow, making you feel every inches of his cock, the little vein on the side stroking against your velvety wall made you feel dizzy already.
You gasped as he started moving, his hands holding firmly on your sides.
"you feel so good around me." he threw his head back, his fingernails digging into the flesh of your hips.
He looked in front of him, his cock twitching inside you at the view, making you clench around him at the sudden feeling.
"fuck!" 
Jungkook hand travelled all along your spine to your hair, pulling you up to him, your back flat against his hard chest. 
He grabbed on your chin, making you looked in front of you.
You moaned as Jungkook hand went to grab your breast, massaging it gently, his finger teasing the erected bud, flicking it over and over, making you lose your mind.
"look at you." he pointed to the infamous mirror facing the bed.
"taking me so well."
His fingertips dancing on the smooth skin of your stomach.
You knitted your eyebrows, mouth ajar as you felt this familiar knot in the pit of your stomach.
"babe I’m close." you whimpered, your hand clasped on his forearm as you started clenching around him uncontrollably.
"Look in the mirror. Look at me when I’m making you feel good darling." he ordered.
His hand travelling up to your neck, fingers around your throat. He applied a light pressure enough to make you overwhelmed.
You shook your head, tears forming in your eyes as you felt his fingers rubbing on your clit.
"open your eyes pretty." he bit on your earlobe softly, his breath fanning over your neck.
You opened your eyes meeting his lustful ones.
You wanted to look away, his stare making you feel small but he was just so attractive, you couldn’t take your eyes off his face.
Some stands of his long black hair sticked on his sweaty forehead, his bottom lip trapped between his teeth, droplets of sweat running down his neck, eyebrows knitted as he concentrated on hitting the spot that could make you see stars.
His beautiful veiny tattooed hand still resting around your neck.
You cried out as you came around him.
Jungkook held your weak body as he felt your thighs trembled from your orgasm, the pleasure too much for you to handle as he kept on snapping his hips into yours.
He suddenly switched position as he laid you on your back.
"fuck! you feel so fucking good! so warm and tight!" your husband moaned as he went faster, his hand grabbing your thigh angling it higher resting it on his waist.
You sobbed as he started sucking softly on your nipple, his wet muscle caressing the hard bud as he licked it, looking up at your face.
"I- i cant-" you chocked a moan when he bent down to bite on the abused skin of your neck.
"I’m so close." he moaned lowly in your ear.
You let a tear roll down your cheek as the overstimulation was getting unbearable.
"too much." you sobbed, head spinning at the pleasure hitting you again.
Your nails buried deep into the flesh of his back, scratching the soft skin as your legs started trembling again.
He groaned as he picked up the pace making the headboard hit the wall.
He put your leg back down as he felt his own orgasm coming.
Jungkook held your hands at each sides of your head before intertwining your fingers together.
"Jungkook!" you tightened your hands around his, squeezing your eyes shut as you let your orgasm washed over you.
Jungkook came inside you after a few strong thrusts, filling you up to the brim, a loud moan of your name passing by his lips.
His body collapsed on top of yours as he stayed inside you.
You breathed heavily, hand going up to caress his back, the other hand going on the back of his head caressing his messy hair.
He left lazy wet kisses on your neck after a few minutes.
"I love you." he whispered, face resting on your chest.
"I love you." you pecked the top of his head softly.
"did I go too hard?" he asked hoping he didn’t do too much, if he didn’t hurt you or push you over your limits.
"no, don’t worry." you reassured him still stroking his scratched back.
He hummed feeling your soft touches caressing over the burning skin, enjoying the warmth of your body under him.
"y/n?" he called quietly making you hum.
"I’m sorry." he lifted his head up to look at you.
"Koo it’s o-"
"no no listen please. I don’t know why you thought all these things. But forget them. You definitely misunderstood. I’ll never do whatever you said earlier. I love you and you only. I’d never flirt with anyone else than you. I’ll never disrespect you in any way. You mean so much for me. I respect you a lot. You’re my wife. The person I love the most. I don’t care about her and I didn’t find excuses to defend her." he explained making you feel guilty again.
"I want to apologize for my behavior earlier. I was so mad and I wasn’t think right I guess. She got on my nerves and I maybe, accused you for doing what you probably didn’t do. I’m sorry." you sighed making you husband shook his head.
"don’t apologize my love." he caressed your cheek before pecking your lips.
"I love you so much Jungkook. You mean so much for me too."
He rolled the both you over, so you're laying on top.
"I love you more, my favorite cam girl." he grinned making you slapped his chest.
"gosh you’re so annoying."
Jungkook laughed, hugging you tightly.
a/n : probably a weird way to finish this fic sorry 🥸. Well, I hope it wasn’t that bad. Thank you for reading! I love y’all.
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reiderwriter · 8 months
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♦️Pardon The Way That I Stare♦️
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Chapter 8 of That's What You Get
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Summary: After some encouragement from Emily and Penelope, you try to explain your reaction to Reid at work. Until you find yourself reacting to him more and more, distracting you from doing your job. Warnings: Alcohol consumption, mentions of sex, Reader is just really horny for Reid (REAL). A/N: We're getting closer to the climax and I'm SO beyond excited for everyone to read the next chapter because I think it's going to be so good but also so evil and I enjoy that very much. If you like the series, let me know by dropping a message in the replies or in my inbox, and follow my other account @reiderslibrary for just fics from me without my random thoughts and bullshit in between... You can find masterlist here, and the series masterlist is linked here!
You were stupid, there was no other logical explanation for it. Staring at Emily on your doorstep as your brain stood there, slack-jawed and wide-eyed, trying to process the words she’d just said to you, there was really only one thing running through your brain.
“I’m a fucking dumbass.” you groaned, your hands coming up to your head as you pondered your next move.
“There’s no chance that you’ll believe this was all just one practical joke that I’ve been playing to test how quickly you could turn up at my place with wine?” You looked up hopefully at Emily, and she returned with a concerned look of her own, that silently communicated ‘No, I wasn’t born yesterday.’
“Worth a shot, come on in.” You opened the door wider for Emily and grabbed a second glass from your kitchen to share the wine before she could start her interrogation.
“So,” she prompted as soon as you returned to the couch, and you sighed heavily as you nodded and began.
“I married Reid in Vegas.”
“Yes, I got that from the text, what I didn’t get was why, what, when, where, who, and how! Question words, Y/N, important information if you please.” You chuckled at Emily’s tone, and you melted a little into your couch. Just like with Penelope, letting others know had comforted you. You’d never been one to bottle up your emotions, and you couldn’t exactly tell Spencer how you felt about him, so your dearest FBI-assigned best friends were a welcome compromise.
“You promise not to tell anyone? Penelope knows, and so does Rossi, but no one else does. Well maybe someone else but I don’t know who that someone is - long story.” You rambled, still aware of the promise you’d made with Spencer, and knowing that you’d actually broken it twice now.
“Scouts honor, now get on with it.”
“You were never a scout.”
“That’s beside the point, Y/N, now spill!”
“Do you remember when we finished the case in Vegas last weekend, and we all wanted nothing more than to go home, but the jet was landed?” A small nod encourages you to continue. “Well, Reid offered to show me this bar that he thought I’d enjoy, and honestly, I’d had a tense phone call with my mom and was feeling a bit crappy, so I thought a drink wouldn’t hurt.”
“A drink might get you married though.” You glared at her at the interruption, and she held her hands up in surrender as you continued.
“The bar was amazing, and he noticed I was feeling down, and I don’t know, he just has this way of making me feel calm and fully together. I was a mess earlier that day, but with like one short conversation, he kind of turned my mood entirely around.” You flushed then and decided to ignore Emily’s next interjection.
“Oh god…”
“Apparently after that, we went to a casino or another bar or something, but honestly, I drank so much I don’t remember any of that. But at some point, we bought a very expensive engagement ring, made our way to the Bureau for Wedding Licences and then a chapel and now we’re legally married.” You tried to end your story there, but Emily wasn’t having that.
“No, you’re not stopping there. You said you kissed, and you ruined everything, and you mentioned a wedding night in that text, do not shortchange me now, Y/L/N. Wait, should I be calling you Reid now?” She grinned at the flush that coated your entire body with that, and you buried your head in your pillows.
“Okay, okay. Well, we’re trying to figure out who the witnesses to our wedding were. We know that two team members were there, and Penelope was one of them, but Spencer doesn’t know that yet. Again, another long story.” You let your words sink in as you realize the tangled mess you’d spun for yourself in the last week.
“We spent some time researching our options on Saturday night, to see if we could get our memories to come back and I might not have left until a couple hours ago?”
“Y/N! You’ve been banging Reid for the last three days?”
“No! No, nothing like that, we didn’t- well, we did just not at his house, but also I don’t think you want to hear about that.” You spilled all the details about your last few days with Reid, his touches, his care, the dates you’d been on, the way you’d wrapped yourself around each other in your sleep, but still woken up to an empty bed, all the way up to that fateful kiss and your stupid reaction.
“So there, I’ve ruined it.” Emily looked at you pityingly and started to say something when your doorbell rang a second time.
“That’s reinforcements,” Emily said, standing and moving to greet the newcomer herself. You were relieved when Penelope Garcia came marching through the door, ice cream in hand and mouth already moving.
“Have no fear, your guardian angel is here. Emily texted me en route and I disentangled myself from my plans with a now very suspicious Derek Morgan to race over here. I think I managed to throw him off the scent by mentioning my ukelele lessons with Sam though, he always kinda glazes over whenever I go into heavy details about that.” She perches herself on the couch beside you and starts organizing things on the table, pulling out three tubs of ice cream and locating adequate spoons in the drawer.
“Pen, you didn’t have to do all this…”
“Yes, I did. Emily tell her I did. I need all the details that you suddenly remembered Y/N or I’m going to go crazy, and let me tell you, I am not an effective tech analyst when my mind is all aflutter with wonder.” You smiled awkwardly at the situation. You’d glossed over the details of your wedding night with Emily, going no further than insinuating that you’d had sex, but now the pressure was on.
“We just want to help you, Y/N. And we’re morbidly curious.” Emily joined in. Both of their eyes were trained on you in a hopeful expression, leaving the ball firmly in your court as you fought down the embarrassment rising from the back of your throat.
Closing your eyes, you took a deep breath.
“I think it was the best sex I’ve ever had in my life,” was all you managed to squeak out before they were reacting, asking twenty questions each in the space of a minute as your body both caught fire at the memory and shrunk down to the size of an ant at the attentions.
“Calm down, calm down, I’ll tell you more but you have to calm down.” They stilled themselves and bit their tongue, and you continued.
“Well I don’t want to get into the, uh, specific details, but let’s just say that he’s very good at putting theory into practice. That or he’s actually very experienced in sex and nobody ever realized, because the things he was doing were like, expert-level maneuvers. I didn’t think I was that flexible until he was hitting from-”
“OKAY not that much detail, this is still Reid we’re talking about.”
“Sorry,” you giggled sheepishly and decided to spare them all the details. “All I’ll say is that we both finished multiple times. And I might have stupidly let him finish inside of me.”
“Y/N, you should know better! Safe sex is really important, especially if you’re fucking in a hotel room in Vegas.” Emily half-chastised you, but you could hear the humor in her voice and just rolled your eyes.
“Yeah, well, I wasn’t exactly having sex with a stranger, I was having sex with my husband.” That got you a teasing cooing from the two women and you buried your face in your hands again.
“So he’s your husband now, is he? How long have you been married? Like three days?”
“Five. Fuck, we’re running out of time.” The length of time that had elapsed since you’d walked down the aisle shocked you as soon as you’d acknowledged it, and you downed your glass of wine as your brain ran rampant.
“Rossi said that if we didn’t tell everyone in a week, he’d do it for us so we didn’t lose our jobs, and we need to file for an annulment soon so we don’t have to get a divorce but there’s like… a one week window, and it’s already been five days. Shit. shit shit shit shit.”
“Hold on, Y/N, you said he kissed you earlier today, right? I wouldn’t exactly recommend getting married and then dating your partner, but it sounds like you both at least like each other enough to pursue this relationship, why would you need an annulment?” Emily’s confusion only served to remind you of the reason they were both here in the first place.
“That’s the problem. I think he thinks I don’t like him like that. And it’s totally my fault that he thinks that, because when he kissed me I didn’t react well and then he just left, and I think I ruined everything.”
“Define not reacting well,” Emily probed further.
“I pushed him away and slammed the door in his face. But that was only because I remembered everything that happened between us on our wedding night, and remembering the most satisfying experience of your entire existence while face-to-face with the man who you’d hitherto never thought capable of that, and having it occur in like 0.02 of a second is a paralyzing experience.”
“Oh my god, you’re an idiot,” Penelope whispered from her side of the couch and you nodded heartily in agreement.
“And what, he just left?” Emily asked again, tone incredulous with all the information she was receiving.
“Well when I’d had my moment and realized what I’d done, I opened the door again and he wasn’t there. And that was only like a minute later. He messaged me this after he left.” You grabbed your phone and opened it up, showing the girls the message and noting their winces in reaction to his words.
“It’s bad, right?”
“No! No, this is salvageable! You just have to… be brave?” Penelope didn’t seem to believe her own words as you pulled your phone back and poured yourself another glass, ready to drown your sorrows once again. Emily was a little more confident.
“Okay. Here’s what you do. I’m going to talk to Rossi for you tomorrow morning at work, get him to hold off on his big reveal while you go and explain everything to Spencer. How does that sound?”
“That sounds doable, I guess.” You sniffled a little, rereading the text having made your emotions jump back up to the surface again as you fought off tears.
“Brilliant. And then you can stay married and continue having wonderful sex, and make some genius babies and make me their godmother.” You threw a pillow at Penelope that she was just too slow to catch, and filled the rest of your evening with wine, ice cream, and good company.
–X–
Emily sends you a thumbs-up text after she talks to Rossi the next morning, and a weight falls off your shoulder. One step down, one to go right?
You’d arrived at work probably a little bit too early, having spent the night tossing and turning and playing every possible outcome in your mind over and over again. It had been half an hour before the next person turned up, and Hotch had only given you a confused half-nod in greeting before secluding himself in his office. Rossi had been the next to arrive, about twenty minutes later, and he too had questioned your presence but not in so many words.
“Early morning, Y/N? Settling into new routines in your newly-wed life, are we?” You’d stuttered out an answer but he was halfway up the stairs by the time you finished, obviously meaning the comment to be rhetorical.
Morgan, Emily, and JJ were all next, showing up only a few minutes before your shift officially started, but there was no sign of Reid, and you were running out of time - and privacy - to talk to him.
Then at 9 sharp the elevator doors opened, and from your seat at your desk, you watched him step out, feeling your tongue grow thick and your heart beat faster as he made his way into the office. This wasn’t how you were supposed to feel, this was cartoonish like a teenage boy in a brat pack movie watching the hottest girl in the school walk down a corridor. This was Spencer, your husband, and your best friend, and here you were feeling giggly and shy.
You almost felt like texting Emily back, telling her if you started giggling and twirling your hair, to take you out back and put you out of your misery.
He didn’t make eye contact with you as he settled into his morning routine, pulling off his scarf, putting his bag away, and then moving to the kitchen to fill up on his morning coffee. You did your best to covertly follow him, trying not to alert the others to your heart eyes as you looked at him and forgot everyone else.
“Spencer, can we talk?” You blocked off the entry to the kitchen as he spun around to face you, a bittersweet smile playing on his lips.
“Sure, Y/N, what’s up?” His voice didn’t betray any of his emotions, but the smile didn’t reach his eyes, and you could tell you’d hurt him the day before. You took a deep breath and walked closer to him as he continued making his coffee, again refusing to look you in the eyes as he continued as normal.
“It’s about yesterday-”
“We probably shouldn’t talk about this here, right?” He cut you off in a whisper, his voice sending shivers down your spine as you gripped the countertop beside him for support. You’d gotten closer than you expected at first, somehow magnetically drawn to him, your body language just as open to him as he was closed to you.
“I think we need to, Spence. I’m sorry, I panicked.”
“No, it’s my fault, I shouldn’t have done that-”
“Spencer I got my memory back.” His eyes widened and he blossomed in front of you again, attention entirely on you now as he took in your words.
“You did?”
“Partially, only the… Only the memories of your hotel room.” His eyes darkened in understanding, moving unconsciously closer to you, placing a hand next to yours on the counter as he effectively trapped your body in.
“Oh. Those memories.”
“Yeah. So you can see why I was a bit distracted.” He nodded at your words, but he was still coming closer to you now. Your body felt weak underneath you, entirely reacting to his closeness, the warmth rolling off his body, the electricity sparking between you despite him not touching you anywhere.
“Distracted?” His eyes darted to your lips as he grew closer, and your legs chose that exact second to give in underneath you.
Your knees hit the ground uncomfortably, as he reacted to your sudden movement, trying to grab you and pull you up, but only managing to grab the hand that was already holding the counter above you, awkwardly twisting and pinning your arm up.
“Oh my god. Oh my god, I’m sorry, I think… I think I should go,” you were face to face with his crotch, and looking up at him in that position was certainly giving you unwholesome thoughts. He jumped back as you scrambled out from underneath him, begging whatever god was out there that none of the profilers you worked with would question the dazed state that would follow you for the rest of the day.
–X–
Despite your need to straighten things out with Spencer, you’d avoided him for the rest of the day, and, having been called out on a case, you spent the better part of the week avoiding him as well. After literally falling for him, you’d decided that maybe in your newly weakened lovesick stage, it was best for everyone on the team that you try to stay as clear-headed as possible.
Not everyone on the team, though, agreed. He’d trailed after you like a lost puppy for days now, and you wanted nothing more than to give in and throw yourself in his arms. But there was a murderer on the loose and you needed to give your entire attention to it.
He’d tried multiple times to get you to help him with some work, suggesting that you go through some files together, or check out one of the witnesses together, much to your discomfort. Luckily, Hotch had picked up on some of the discomfort between the two of you and had kept you somewhat apart, not asking questions.
But the last night on the case, he’d cornered you, and you had to work twice as hard to extricate yourself from the situation.
“Y/N, why are you avoiding me?” He’d caught you alone in the hotel lobby, pulling you into a dark corner without much foot traffic to confront you. “Is it because of the kiss? Because the way you talked about getting your memories back the other day made me think we were okay about that again, but if we’re not then I’m sorry I made you uncomfortable.”
“It’s not the kiss, Spence, and we really shouldn’t be talking about this here.” You tried to turn and leave, but he grabbed your elbow and spun you back into him, bodies pressed flush up against each other now.
“Spencer let go, someone could see us.” Even you knew your voice sounded half-hearted, not really wanting him to stop touching you at all.
“If it’s not the kiss, then why are you acting like I don’t exist?” His face was close again, and you felt your body reacting the same way it had done in the staff kitchen. Your knees went weak again, but he was prepared this time, holding you up in his arms, gently maneuvering you so you were pinned against the wall.
“Is this it?” He asked, letting his hands trail over your body as you whimpered under his touch. “Your reactions?”
Your brain was empty of a response, so you just held still, desperate to see what he would do or say next.
“You know, the deadline on our annulment has passed. It’s been over a week now,” he said, his forehead resting on yours as he brought his hips ever closer.
You were the one that gave in first, pushing your head up to capture his lips in a crushing kiss, needing him the way you needed water, food, and sleep. You’d deprived yourself for so long, and now you were hungry, ravenous, and he was the same. Your lips opened, and soon his tongue was snaking in, caressing you in ways both familiar and new, and your entire body heated up to its boiling point.
You moaned under his touch as his hands wandered, silently begging for more of him. Your brain only kicked back into gear when you registered the sound of voices about to turn the corner. Quickly pushing him off, you pulled yourself together just as JJ and Morgan found you there.
“Y/N, Reid, Garcia got a positive ID on our unsub, we’re about to go SWAT his house, get your gear ready.”
Either you were very good at masking your emotions and the physical outburst you’d just shared, or Morgan was just too caught up in getting his job done that he didn’t look too closely at the way Reid’s tie was half undone, your lips were pink and swollen and that both of you were breathing abnormally. Whichever it was, you were just thankful that neither of them questioned you as you all left to go and do your job.
–X–
To your detriment, you’d avoided him on the jet back as well, choosing to wrap a blanket around yourself and sit in a single seat at the end of the plane rather than risk his hands on you again like last time. You already couldn’t be trusted around him, and you wanted to take no risks with everyone else present.
He’d sat in your line of vision purposefully though, making eye contact every now and then to remind you that he was still watching you. You’d feigned exhaustion and pretended to sleep in the end, despite the flight duration only being a measly two hours. He’d let you exit the plane alone though, and said a general goodbye to the team upon landing, giving you a second look and wave before taking himself home.
The ball was firmly in your court.
“What the hell was all that?” Emily whispered in your ear as you both watched him leave alone. “What happened to the plan?” You smiled awkwardly, not wanting to admit how fucking horny the man made you feel, and how it was affecting your work performance so badly that avoiding him was the only way to keep your job.
“We had the talk, everything’s fine.”
“The two of you aren’t walking out of here hand in hand, so obviously everything is not fine, Penelope, tell me I’m wrong.” The other woman had stumbled into the bullpen upon landing and Emily had immediately drawn her into your hushed conversation as soon as Morgan had made to go home as well.
“What’s going on, hot stuff, I thought you’d be enjoying every second of your marital bliss by now.”
“He’s too distracting.” You whisper shouted at him. “He kissed me again last night and I almost let him take me in the lobby. And Morgan and JJ almost caught us, so yeah, he’s too distracting.”
“Oh god, you’re horny for Reid.” Emily laughed slightly at the implication as if it had just dawned on her and you hadn’t had an entire conversation where you fawned about how good in bed he was.
“Yes, I’m horny for Reid, okay, now please stop laughing, I’m in pain.”
“Well you know there’s only one solution, right?” Penelope said as if it were clear as day. “You need to go have sex with him again. See if you can be normal with him when you’re not so pent up.”
“I don’t know, Pen….” You were still staring at the elevator doors, even after it had been so long since he’d left.
“What is there to not know? You like him, he likes you, you’re married. Like you said before, it’s not like you’re having sex with a stranger, he’s your husband.” Having your words thrown back in your face gave you the boost of confidence that you needed, and you sprang from your chair.
“Okay.”
“Okay?” Emily repeated and you looked back down at the two women.
“Okay, I’m gonna… I’m gonna go seduce my husband, I guess?” You turned on your heel and left, marching out to the sounds of whoops and cheers from the two women behind you.
🏷️ @w-windyy @multifandom-on-the-side @reidandhotchsgirl @babybluecakes @hugyourlungs @prentissesredtanktop @reidscaffeine @bethanyhaas01 @average-sunflower @academiareid @sailortongue @daddy-dotcom @high-functioning-cosplayer @anniewhalelover @abbyshmaby @isabel-ffl-xoxo @sujan39 @frxcless @bluestuesday @busy-buzzing @breadbrobin @maxinehufflepuffprincess @l0v3cam @booksandwonderlands @myescapefromthislife @ferrjulie @scoobydoopoo @aelinismyqueen @littlesingingbean @jamiemuscatosslut @xohoneybun @anchovy89freya @dysphoricsanity @ghostheartbeat @casss2111 @rebloggiest-reblogger @wishyoudaskme @imawhoreforu @academiacoffeelover @softservepunk @andiebeaword @r-3dlips @wakaladjarin @ratbastardchild @mcira @danika1994 @stargurl99 @whovianwholikesgirls @its-not-too-late-for-coffee
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kingtomura · 3 months
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vitality | 1
Summary: You were always told heroes and villains had no place in your home.  Not when there’s an increase in crime, not when there’s monsters on the loose in Hosu and certainly not when the man in your home raises a hand to you.  All it takes is one impulsive decision to change your life forever. content: shigaraki tomura x female reader, slow burn, hurt/comfort, mutual pining, reader has a quirk, graphic depictions of violence, past abuse, past sa, angst, pstd, eventual smut, found family LoV, mdni wc: 3.1k | chapter 2 | m. list | read on ao3
It’s been raining all day.
The cold droplets make your cheeks feel numb as you run along the sidewalk. The sky is a murky gray and your lungs are burning in a desperate attempt to regain air in them. There is blood on your clothes and none of it belongs to you. 
You don't know how long you’ve been at this but you know you cannot stop. There would be consequences if you stopped.
Your body would have to give out first. 
You chance a glance behind you and see there is no chase, there are no sirens and no angry mob following you but your body keeps moving.
You decide to take a sharp right turn into an upcoming alley and use that moment to catch your breath. Your chest heaves as you desperately inhale. The rain has soaked you to the bone and you just know that you’ll have a stuffy nose in the morning. Adrenaline is what you assume is keeping you going at this point — with the rate of your heart beating you're sure it’ll beat right out of your chest and leave you here in this dingy alley alone.
Even through the patter of the rain you could hear the footsteps of multiple people shuffling your way. 
You’re sure they’ve found you. Damn it, you shouldn’t have stopped.
You look around the alley and run to the grimy dumpster further down, hiding behind it and willing yourself to calm your breathing. 
Closing your eyes, you place a cold hand over your own mouth, praying it will quiet your own ragged breaths.
“C’mon, guys, let's be reasonable.” It's the voice of a man and it is not familiar.
He seems to be stepping closer, slowly. You creep closer to the wall and hope the footsteps cease. 
They do.
“Reasonable would be having your head for the shit you pulled on us, Giran.” A different voice, hostile. You're starting to think these people have nothing to do with you.
The guy, Giran, sounds weary, “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m always good on my word.”
There’s another voice piping up now, denying his words, insisting that they were scammed. Between the rain and the men talking over each other it feels impossible to understand. You decide it's best to just wait this out, you’re sure they will finish soon and you can go back to figuring out your next move.
“Bullshit!” Someone yells and it startles you, pulling your attention back to the scene unfolding behind you.
The sound of a gunshot rings through the alley and you jolt in surprise, reflexively covering your ears as your heart stops in your chest. What the fuck was happening right now. Whatever Giran was going to say doesn’t make it far.
“Oh shit,” one voice panicks, “what the fuck did you do, dude!”
“You said we would get him back!”
“Not kill him, you fucking idiot!”
Your nerves are on fire as you hear the pair run off, leaving Giran groaning in pain and bloody.
You move fast, rushing from your place behind the dumpster to the wounded man. Giran was slumped against a wall, hand clutching his abdomen and breathing heavily. You don’t know what's compelling you to do this, so you blame it on the adrenaline still pumping through your veins. No one deserves to die here.
“Hey!” You yell out, an attempt to get his attention and keep him from slipping into unconsciousness. His brows lifted as his eyes met yours and you’re just glad this stranger is still breathing. “Let me help you.”
He only looks at you and you’re sure he’s fighting with all he has to hang on. You’re probably a sight to see yourself — clothes drenched in a mixture of blood and rain and eyes wild with panic.
You reach for his hand covering the bloody wound and he only presses tighter.
“Trust me.” You plead, meeting his eyes in desperation before trying again. Giran nods, moving his own hand and allowing you a chance to see the injury for yourself — blood was everywhere and given the rain you had no clear view. You shoot him a pointed look once more before going for his shirt, lifting it and exposing his stomach and bloody wound. You could work with this. 
Your hands were freezing cold, but you willed yourself through it, bringing both to hover over his abdomen and focusing. Giran watched the soft green glow emit from your hands and wash over his wounded abdomen, his wound healing from the inside out. Raindrops drip from your hair and down your nose, yet you focus until the injury is gone, as if it had never been there in the first place. 
Giran sighed, resting his head on the brick wall behind him, muscles relaxing and breath stabilizing.
“You’re a healer.” He speaks, voice hoarse and winded.
You nod, bringing your hands back and looking at the grovel below, “yeah, something like that.”
A silence falls over the both of you, the rain continuing to seep its cold into your bones. It's almost time to face your reality again. Time to get up and move.
“What are you doing out here, kid?'' Giran speaks again, voice gaining more clarity as he stabilizes from the events before. 
What are you doing out here? Where even is here? You weren’t paying attention while you ran — there was only the urge to get away and get away as fast as you could. 
“I...” you look down at your clothes clinging to your form and drooping lower than they should due to the onslaught of rain. Not even the rain could wash away the blood staining the cotton material. Whatever may have gotten on your face could be washed away, but you’re unsure. “I don’t know.” You finish, chancing a glance at Giran. 
He looks to you before taking a moment to stand, finally gaining composure and taking a slow breath.  
You follow suit, ready to go the other way, never see this man you saved again. 
“I owe you one, kid,” Giran starts again, adjusting his glasses, and you begin to protest. He cuts you off, “Those crooks almost killed me. Really, at least let me get you someplace warm.” he insists and you stare for a moment, you were unsure of your next move anyway. 
You nod, “alright.”
—---------
Giran takes you to an underground bar. One where the lighting is low and there aren't many people around. You’ve never been to a bar before, but you’re sure this one had bad news written all over it.
Even so, you don't feel afraid. The bar had a bathroom where you could dry off better and there was even spare clothes in the lost and found. You were finally able to get the rain soaked clothes off and wipe away the red staining your face as well. It was miles better than what you had before. 
Now you were sat across from Giran as he lit his cigarette, taking a drag and exhaling it to the side. 
The harsh smell of nicotine flooded the area and you bit back the scrunch of your nose as you stuffed your face with chips from the bar. Once your adrenaline settled, the feeling of hunger was overwhelming. 
“So,” you're midbite when Giran speaks, breaking the silence, “what were you doing out there, kid?”
You force your food down and ponder your answer. There was no reason you shouldn’t trust Giran right now, but—
The splatter of blood crosses your mind, accompanied by a memory of glass breaking that makes you shiver and you decide that no, you couldn’t share this.
“I…” you can’t meet his eyes, “I got lost.”
Giran taps the ashes from his cigarette and sucks his teeth. “Lost, huh?” He raises a brow, “where are you from, then? You were covered in blood, and not all of that belonged to me, so what’s your deal – are you some kind of hero?”
You vehemently shake your head, “no, no. I’m not a hero.” You anxiously pick at the loose sem in the sweater, “I’m nobody. Not anymore.”
“You’re a healer, people would kill for a quirk like that.” He takes another drag, blowing the smoke and pointing to you, “what is it you were running from?”
There were tears welling in your eyes and you wished this conversation could be over. The reality of the situation setting in. “I hurt someone. Bad.”
“Can’t be that bad since you can heal ‘em, right?”
You’re quiet. Flashes of what occurred hours ago flooding your memory. It feels so far away. So foggy. “No. No, I didn’t heal them.” Your fists tighten in your lap. “I hurt them and then I left. I ran away and now I’ll never go back.”
Giran looks you over for a bit before tapping the excess ash from his cigarette. “Well, since you need somewhere to go and you have a pretty sick quirk, I think I have the perfect place for you.” 
—---------
The dark corridors Giran leads you through feel endless and you can’t help but wonder if he’s leading you into a trap of some kind. You thought the bar before was shady, but wherever the hell he was taking you seems to be much worse. 
There was no elaboration on where you were going, just an absent trust me and promises that you would be safe and taken care of here. Promises that no one would look for you or find you here. You sigh, out of options and desperate. He had no reason to lie to you, but it still gave you an uneasy feeling. 
“This guy,” Giran’s voice catches your attention, “Can seem like kind of a brat, but he’s good on his word.”
It’s as if he could feel your restless thoughts and you only purse your lips, glancing at him and then back forward, noting a large metal door coming into view. 
You can't fight the lump of dread in your stomach but you try to put on a brave face as the screech of the heavy metal door fills the corridor. It led to another bar — this one looking more… normal. Empty, quiet and even quaint. 
The only occupants being a shadow-like figure of a man, dark cloudy whisps covering his face and hands and another, younger man dressed in all black and sporting what looked like a pale blue hand covering his face like a mask.
“Giran,” the man spoke, voice raspy and sharp. He couldn’t have been much older than you, maybe younger. “What have you brought us today?”
The man in question smiled, gold tooth glimmering in the low light of the bar. “Something special.” 
You couldn’t see much of the man’s face beyond the hand, but you could see the glint of interest in his red eyes. 
“Is that so…” he turns his attention to you, “what’s your name?” 
His gaze gives you goosebumps and you turn to Giran, seeking some kind of reassurance, but the boy speaks again, “Don’t look at him. I’m the one talking to you.” 
It shakes you, but you snap your attention back to him and tell him your name. 
“And why are you here?” 
You don’t know. You have no idea why Giran brought you here and you don’t even know who this guy is. How could you hope to answer that with no information?
Giran steps in before you can make a retort, “she’s here because I think you could get a lot of use out of her, Shigaraki.”
 Shigaraki’s gaze never leaves yours. “Oh, yeah? What’s your quirk?”
You bite your lower lip, you didn’t expect this to be an interview of some kind. Shigaraki looks impatient, tapping a finger on the bar beside him. You swallow your nerves and speak, “My quirk is called Vitality – I can heal others and myself.”
“That’s a rare find, Giran, even for you.” Shigaraki crossed his arms, interest successfully piqued. 
Giran huffs a laugh, lighting his cigarette and taking a drag. “Yeah, well, she kind of found me.”
You steal a look at Giran, the smoke leaving his lips as he speaks. Shigaraki doesn’t say anything, his silence seemingly urging Giran to continue. “This one here saved my life yesterday. Some hothead shot me and she rushed in and healed me. I’m good as new.”
Shigaraki scoffs, tone sardonic and cruel, “Wow, how heroic of you.”
It feels like you’ve made the wrong choice, like the idea of saving someone was foolish and wrong. You acted on instinct — no one deserved to die there.
“So, what’s your deal, then? The heroes would kill to have you on their side. Why are you here?”
“I don’t care about the heroes,” it’s the truth, you want nothing to do with their flashy shows of power and silly displays of heroism. “I couldn’t care less for it.”
You see Shigaraki’s eyes narrow through the fingers of the hand on his face. “So you’re one of Stain’s followers, then?”
Who? You didn’t keep up with that kind of stuff. You vaguely remember seeing the news articles about some crazed villain, but you have had your own villain to deal with. Nothing else mattered. 
This was beginning to frustrate you. All the questions, all the prying — who cares about any of this stuff? You don’t even know where you are!
“I’m not familiar with him. I don’t care for any of it.” You couldn’t help but hear the question ring in your head again. 
Why are you here?
“I don’t,” you start up again, voice catching in your throat. “I don’t have a home to go back to.” 
The memory of glass breaking and blood splattering crosses your mind, running away in the rain clouds your thoughts, yet you continue, “I don't know what lies ahead for me, I don't have a future anymore. I just happened to stumble upon Giran.” 
Shigaraki is quiet for a moment. You have to force yourself to refrain from squirming under his gaze. 
“Show me.”
Your eyes snap to his, “What?”
“Show me your quirk.'' His voice is firm and unwavering. You’re looking at him to see if you could find any injury or even bruises but from your distance you cannot. It's not until Shigaraki pulls the already loose collar of his shirt down over his shoulder and you see it. There’s a large bandage on his shoulder and your steps falter a bit – not expecting him to expose so much skin so easily.
You swallow, uneasiness buzzing through your veins as you watch him remove the bandage and expose a gash on his shoulder. It looks recent, but you can't tell from this distance, so you move towards him. 
The closer you get, the more you notice the finer details of the man. His ashen hair looks soft up close and his dark shirt does little to hide the lithe muscle underneath. It’s like walking into the cage of a wild tiger, sitting and waiting for its perfect moment to grab you.
He notices your hesitation and sucks his teeth, “I don’t have all day.” 
You swallow your nerves and continue on. The closer you get, the more clearly you can see the scars on his neck as well. Not as bad as the gash on his shoulder, but still noticeable. You try not to steal too long of a glance and reach out, slowly — ready to heal him. 
The wound doesn’t seem to be very deep so you only use one hand, a seafoam green glow emitting and covering his injury. 
Shigaraki inhales slowly, feeling the relieving effects of your quirk healing him from the inside out. It doesn’t take long, the wound was already in the process of recovering before so this was more minor than you thought. You pull away once you were sure his shoulder was back to normal, taking a cautious step back from the man before you. 
His attention is on Giran as he rolls his shoulder, flexing out all the previous tension and sighing in relief. 
“Something like this isn’t easy to come by, Giran. What’s your price?”
Price, he says. Like you’re cattle, as if you’re some kind of product to be shipped off and traded. It makes you feel low. 
Giran shrugs, smile pliant on his face and cigarette hanging loosely in his mouth. “No price. I told you – I owe this kid my life. Just make sure she’s safe and fed and we’ll call it even.” 
Shigaraki still seems to be skeptical because he stands to his feet and you take another step back from him. His form is tense and you have to fight the urge to run to the door behind Giran. Shigaraki is taller, even with his slouched posture, and the sinking feeling in your stomach only grows as you anxiously watch for his next move. 
You vaguely register the man engulfed in dark clouds calling Shigaraki’s name — a warning in his tone. 
Giran raises a hand, smile never faltering. “Seriously. Eye for an eye.” He cocks his head, “But I’m not opposed to additional payment, if that’s what you want.” 
It's a joke, one that the man before you does not find funny. He stands up straighter, “Whatever. Fine, we’ll take her in.” 
You’re unsure if this is something you should celebrate or ease your way out of, but Giran seems to take it well. An honest smile gracing his features as he looks back to you, “You hear that, kid? You're in.” 
Shigaraki turned to the shadowlike man behind the counter, “Kurogiri, prepare a room for her.” 
Kurogiri nods and makes his way from behind the bar, you assume you should follow, but this was… a lot to take in. If they were to take you in then you wont ask too many questions. As long as you could lay low and keep to yourself then things would be fine. This wouldn’t have to be forever, just long enough to get yourself together and make your next moves. 
You find solace in that thought as you walk past Giran — sending you an amiable wave as you trail behind Kurogiri. 
Shigaraki stays behind in the bar and you’re thankful, his demeanor doesn’t seem like one you would like to be around for long periods of time. 
There’s a brief moment when you're passing Shigaraki. His eyes meet yours and you notice the shine in them, a glimmer of covet curiosity so quick you almost miss it. 
And you can’t help but wonder what exactly is it you’ve just gotten yourself into.
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hhnguyen · 1 year
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future light
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♢ Pairing: Oldest Sully sister!Reader x Brother!Neteyam (PLATONIC)
♢ Word count: 2.6k
♢ Genre: Sibling love, family fluff, comfort, angst     - Warnings: jealous siblings, swearing, slight angsty Neteyam but sissy is here for him don't worry, Jake is a worried parent not a bad one people
⌲ Description: Neteyam can no longer keep silent in seeing his father’s favoritism against you, who just happened to be in his line of fire when it went off. 
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Stupid brat.
That was all Neteyam could think as he stood before his father, Lo’ak beside him with his head hanging low and avoiding eye contact as Jake was glaring down at them with one of his signature scolding expressions. 
His little brother had somehow managed to get into trouble, again. 
This time being mere inches away from being swallowed by a palulukan and missing the eclipse curfew set for them to be back home. 
Lo’ak had run off to explore after his training lessons ended much earlier than Neteyam’s, dragging Spider with him as they ventured outside the safety lines of the village and into the awaiting jaws of the forests. 
In the daytime, the jungles of the Omatikaya were their terrain. Every branch, tree, and leaf was at their beck and call as they moved through the canopies as easily as breathing. Yet as dark fell, the night and its life were as perile to the Na’vi as the sky people if not treading carefully enough. 
Especially if that Na’vi in question was his stupid fourteen-year-old brother still struggling to shoot straight with his bow. 
Neteyam loved Lo’ak, there was no damn question about his affection for him. He would do anything to keep his siblings and family safe, but sometimes just like now, he felt the burden of being the oldest son lay heavily on his shoulders. 
How his dad’s glaring gaze seemed unfair for placing him underneath the same shade as Lo’ak when he hadn’t even been there - but arrived in time to save both of the young boys from their untimely death until his parents had come swooping in and chased away the palulukan. 
“You should have known better than let him go off on his own!” Jake was reprimanding with a shake of his head. “You’re the older brother, Neteyam. It is your responsibility to keep him safe when your mom and I, or even Y/N are not around to protect you.”
Maybe Neteyam was being childish, but the mention of your name only managed to aggravate him further. 
Then why wasn’t he yelling at you too for being an irresponsible sibling? You’re the oldest after all, not just him. 
He knew that wasn’t happening. 
You were Y/N - Toruk Makto’s pride and joy, who was nearly always seen by your father’s side in all important matters regarding the clan, sometimes being asked for input whereas Neteyam was stuck with other teachers showing him the essential ropes of what was expected of him as the future Olo’eyktan. 
All hypothetical scenarios rather than letting the real clan leader - his father - take him out on actual excursions. 
Biting back his thoughts, Neteyam kept his eyes firmly on the ground, jaw clenching before he replied. “I’m sorry, sir. It won’t happen again.” What utter bullshit that was. 
Seemingly satisfied with his response Jake turned his ire towards Lo’ak who seemed to cower away. “You are grounded. No flying for a month and only ikran clean up duty. You are to join Neteyam in all his lessons after your own and help your grandmother whenever she needs it. Understood?”
Somehow Neteyam felt like it was more a punishment for him than his younger brother. 
“Yes sir.”
As their father turned to leave, Neteyam went the opposite way of their hut, the constrained anger still clearly present in him when he heard Lo’ak call after him. 
“Bro where are you going?”
“Away from you, little dipshit.”
There an offended scoff. “I said I was sorry!”
Neteyam whirled around in a fit of frustration so sudden that it made Lo’ak stop in his pursuit seeing how well pissed off his older brother was. “You’re always sorry, Lo’ak! But you never learn, do you? Always doing the same shit over and over again, and who takes the blame every time for you? Me. So how about you stop saying sorry and try thinking for once?!”
The hurtful disbelief with unshed tears staring back at him caused a string of regret to follow his words, but with a hiss, Neteyam turned back around to get away as far as he could without leaving their village.
There were no footsteps following after him this time. 
He found himself on one of the smaller hometrees, just on the edge of what Jake had deemed as their ‘village line.’ 
After the war and the destruction of his mother’s former hometree which had served as the Omatikaya’s home for centuries, they had for a time located closer to Hell’s Gate at the leading of his father until they decided to migrate back to the jungle and now lived in scattered villages throughout the forest. 
The hunt for a new hometree was still ongoing. But he had heard there was a lot more involved than just picking one. It had to be large enough to house their whole clan and not cross into other territories before the shaping and building itself could start - something which took years in itself to complete. 
Though his father was against making another hometree theirs yet again, of the fear of them becoming vulnerable again to attacks from the past. If the sky people had managed it before, they could do it again. It was just a matter of time until the decision was final and where the Omatikaya would end up settling once and for all. 
Neteyam had scaled the trunk easily enough before making himself comfortable on one of the hundreds of branches, on the lower side that hung over a cliff facing towards the setting sun, painting the sky in hues of orange, soft pink, and reds. 
Time was nonexistent for him at that moment, and he cherished the short moment of silence to himself to calm his racing heart and betraying thoughts towards his family. Or at least he tried. 
Until a screech woke him from the trance. 
At first, it sounded like any other ikran before it was followed by a particularly vicious one that made him nearly think Toruk the beast himself had returned. But then the familiar sight of a midnight blue ikran made itself known in the sky, its rider hollering in greeting before landing on the edge of the large branch he was occupying. 
Neyteyam watched as you jumped off swiftly with a bright grin, patting the neck of Atanzaw, who caught sight of him sitting there. Despite the long distance between them, and the slim chance of being remotely hurt by the mount, the aggressive snap that the ikran sent his way still made him flinch. 
He didn’t understand how you had managed to bond with that vicious beast. A broken wrist or not. 
He supposed it was another one of your many talents being born as Toruk Makto’s oldest. There was no stopping the roll of his eyes at the thought. 
Oblivious to his foul mood, you soothed your bond with a gentle pet before making your way over, bow slung over your shoulder. “Hey little brother, I thought I recognized something blue!”
You had never been the most humorous person when it didn’t involve crude language. 
“Is that supposed to be funny?” He muttered in reply as you shrugged and sat down beside him. 
“A little bit, yeah. So why are you up here?”
“Why are you still out?” he didn’t know why he felt the need to ask that, before adding. “It’s way past eclipse, you know.”
Again your reply was easygoing. “Dad knows I was out and he was good with it, as long as I was back before complete dark.”
No surprise there. The favorite child gets the favorite treatment. 
“Of course he was. Anything for you.” A bitter mutter. 
At this point there was a no brainer that Neteyam was mad at something. At that, something was seemingly directed at you, as your frown got deeper and you leaned back to get a better look of him. 
“Okay…out with it.”
“What?”
“What did I do?”
“What do you mean?”
“Because we are apparently being mad at Y/N today, and she wants to know why.”
His forehead creased further in confusion. “Why do you refer to yourself in such a way?”
Your teasing smile vanished as you blanched at him. “Are we really doing this right now ‘Teyam?”
He looked away again, tongue poking the inside of his cheek in contemplation before glancing back at you, his braids following the movement and beads clinking against each other while you remained silent waiting for him to decide. 
“It’s not important.”
“Okay, I don’t believe you.”
“It’s none of your business, Y/N.”
“Ohoho, I definitely don’t believe you now.”
“Can you stop that?!” his explosion of anger was unexpected even for him as Neteyam sprung up on his feet and stalked away from you. “Do you ever get sick of it?”
Opening and closing your mouth, you took a moment to consider your next choice of actions as you observed him carefully. Your words were neither angry nor kind, simply said as a swift question. “Sick of what?”
“Acting like you’re better than anyone else!”
“Excuse me?” The slight hiss of your words matched with the warning growl coming from Atanzaw as the ikran paced on the edge of the branch at the aggravated emotions coming from your brother. “You need to calm down.”
“No!” Neteyam was properly glaring at you now, lips pulled back to show his fangs at you. “I am sick and tired of you being treated like an untouched treasure of this clan, while father keeps looking at me like I’m some sort of a large disappointment because Lo’ak can’t manage to remain on his ass for one second!”
Your retort died on your tongue as you realized where his frustrations were coming from. 
“It’s always me; the oldest brother, the older son whose responsibility is to watch over our siblings. But why should it be my fault because Lo’ak decides to be a stupid brat?”
This was something entirely else, you thought. A build up of something that had been festering underneath his strong armor. Neteyam had never been a person to harsh language, especially not directed towards family. This was a completely new and hurt side of him you hadn’t seen before.  
Your own heart was hurting at seeing Neteyam falling overboard. How all of his emotions were grappling within him, pushing each other to the surface and not being able to stop as all his burdens revealed themselves to the star filled night of Pandora winking back at him. 
There was a sharp snap from behind you as you ordered firmly. “Mawey, Atanzaw,” the aggravated scufflings of your mount ceased. 
“It’s always me. Never you - the actual oldest of the family. I’m the one training to become Olo’eyktan, so why…” His voice broke, shoulders sagging with clenching fists. “AH!”
You moved forward in a rush as he turned to punch the bark of the tree, your hands swiftly pulling his hand towards you after impact. “‘Teyam! Don’t hurt yourself.”
There was a slight resistance as he tried to pull away, but you were firm in holding on as he realized this and relented. You lead him further out to the branch, closer to where the suspicious ikran stood watching and left him a few feet away as you rustled in your bag and pulled out some first aid bandages for his torn skin. 
You felt his gaze on you the entire time you silently looked over the broken wounds, but nothing too serious except for some stinging on his part. 
“Why are you not speaking?” His voice was raspy and low, a clear sign of overuse. He was already taller than you despite his younger age, hovering an inch or two above. 
“Do you wish for me to speak, little brother?” 
“Rather than you giving me the silent treatment.”
“Oh? And do you think you deserve it?”
The silence that occurred made you think he was genuinely thinking about it, but his next words made you pause for a single second before resuming. 
“Please stop doing that.”
He meant your ability in drawing out anything you wanted from them with your way of questioning to the point of revelation. You never did it as a means of making anyone feel bad, but rather encouraging them to say their honest thoughts and feelings without feeling embarrassed. You made everyone feel validated, listening to all their struggles with an understanding look, never once making them feel small in telling their darkest truths. 
“You know what I think?
Neteyam shrugged. 
Offering a small, yet comforting smile you grabbed both of his hands and let them hang between your bodies. 
“I believe you might have misunderstood all of this.” 
Opening his mouth, you were quick to shut down his words. “Wait. You say it’s unfair that dad is faulting you for the troubles of Lo’ak. Don’t you get it ‘Teyam? You said it yourself. You are the future Olo’eyktan of the Omatikaya. You will face far worse accusations against you from so many different people, about things that you cannot control. Dad’s way might not be ideal, but he is preparing you for the worst out there. I don’t speak about the worse monsters or animals, I mean actual people, either sky people or other Na’vi who might not agree with your decisions. It’s about a responsibility larger than yourself.” 
Neteyam felt the breath leave his lungs, a clarity sweeping through all his dark thoughts as he stared down at his older sister with a slackening grip on her hands. 
“And about me getting everything I want?” even in the darkness you could see his ears flickering to lay flat down on his head, eyes avoiding your own until you encouraged him to look back up. “You are not wrong. But you forget, Neteyam. You are the oldest son, not me. I am merely a firstborn daughter. Not Olo’eyktan, not even Tsahik in training. I feel blessed that you haven’t seen what I have - How many Na’vi that do not agree to have me beside our father.”
That was a truth Neteyam had never expected to hear. Their actual clan members opposed to the things his sister did? One of the best young warriors they had. There were not many that could compare to your fearlessness. What absolute bullshit.
“I have to be better than anyone else ‘Teyam. Or else I’m nobody. Only another daughter. It’s a matter of proving myself to be someone worth something other than the next clan leader, or Tsahik. Do you understand now?”
How couldn’t he? 
But now that the reality was here, it left feeling him like he had done something unforgivable. Spitting hurtful words at the one person besides his parents that would give their life for him without a single thought. Just jump straight into the line of fire with a triumphant grin. 
“I’m a fool,” he whispered. 
You cupped his cheek with a shake of your head. “No, you are young. You are allowed to feel things that might seem hard. It’s all about growing up, little brother.”
“Are you mad at me?”
“Never,” you grinned, tiptoeing up to peck his cheek quickly before suddenly dancing backward with a shift in mood as the grin turned into a mischievous smirk. “But I believe a proper apology would be to join me on the flight home.”
This wasn’t good. 
“But…my ikran is not here?” His confusion melted away at the realization as he locked eyes with the glaring yellow irises of the blue devil standing behind his sister. “Oh no. No, no, no, no!”
“That’s my payment. Take it or leave it.”
He was certain of it. The evil glint in your eyes was not his imagination. 
The night for the two older Sully kids ended with Neteyam screaming for Ewya to spare him as Atanzaw did everything he could to shake the boy off his back, despite being firmly strapped in by yours truly, and your laughter followed his every scream. 
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doitforbangchan · 3 months
Text
WEATHER THE STORM - Han jisung
requested by the always lovely @jehhskz 💕 girl knows i love some hannie and gave me the perfect request 🥹🥰
Masterlist
Its pretty apparent how flipping much i love this boy in this story...i poured my heart out for this one lol
boyfriend!Han x reader (afab)
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Warnings: Fem reader, Smut, unprotected p in v, kissing, fingering, kinda sub jisung, kinda dom reader, crying, cursing, a ton of pet names, soooo fluffy, jisung is down bad for reader and has a praise kink. Not proof read <3
WC: 2.9k
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The clouds were rolling in rapidly, way faster than you had anticipated. The trees were shaking with the gusts of wind. You had only received the alert of the impending storm on your phone about an hour ago. After giving your weather app one last look, you sighed heavily and tossed your phone on the couch next to you.
 It wasn’t that you didn’t like the rain; you did, in fact you loved it. But, tonight was supposed to be a ladies night out with your friend. You and her had been very excited to try that new Pho place downtown and then go for drinks. You especially had been looking forward to it. 
The rain started splattering against the window, the heavy wind getting fiercer by the minute. There was no sense in getting ready for a night that wasn’t going to happen. Your friend has already canceled over an hour ago.
You thought about asking your boyfriend. He had just gotten back into town a few days ago.Jisung had been away for weeks while touring and neither of you have spent any time together. You had texted him ranting about your ruined plans and he had suggested he come over, but you would never ask him to face the storm. 
As if he knew you were thinking about him, your phone lit up with a call from ‘Sungie <3’. 
“Hey Ji, I was just thinking about you.” You answered, heart feeling heavy at having to be away from him.
“Funny enough, I’m always thinking of you, my baby.” You heard a car door slam on his end, “Your favorite kind of pho is chicken, right?” 
“Yeah, whhyyyy?” You drawled. You didn’t get an answer from him, instead you were startled when your doorbell rang. “What the fuck, you didn’t!” You hung up the phone and rushed to the door, flinging it open to find your boyfriend in all his smiling glory, with arms full with food and snacks. “Ji!” 
“Delivery for the prettiest girl in the world!” His arms were full or he would have hugged you. You took some of the stuff from his arms and stepped aside for him to enter your home. 
“What are you doing here, you crazy person?! Do you not see the insane storm that's coming in?” you chastise even though you were beaming, unable to hide your elation at seeing him in your home. You wish you knew he was coming so you could have changed out of your pjs.
“Wow there's a storm outside?” He said sarcastically, acting shocked. “I couldn’t tell.” You pushed him playfully, and he laughed. “I kinda thought that we could weather the storm together, I mean, if you want? I brought Pho from that place you wanted to try and a bunch of snacks and candy! I remember you talking about building blanket forts when you were little, so I also figured we could build one to snuggle in? I brought my string lights.” 
“Oh Ji” you wanted to cry, he was so thoughtful. He always paid the utmost attention to what you say, even absentmindedly. “This is perfect. You are perfect. Thank you my love.” You set down the bags you took from him and attacked him in a hug. 
He hugged you back just as tightly, sweeping you off the ground, “Anything for you my baby.” He set you down with a wet smooch to your forehead. You’re stuck with me until this storm is over! No girl of mine is gonna be alone with this bullshit going on outside!” You noticed he had a backpack on, those must be his clothes for a few days. As if you didn’t already have a stache of his clothes already. 
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The building process was surprisingly pretty quick. Jisung had demanded you build the fort before you ate, so you can ‘eat in the ambiance and celebrate the fruits of our labor’ as he had said. You’re pretty sure the motivation came from keeping the food hot, making you both get to work. Luckily you were a blanket hoarder so you had plenty to use and pile on the floor. 
As Ji was hanging the string lights as the finishing touch you set out the food for both of you on the tray you put in the fort. He was right, it was worth the wait. It felt so magical somehow. You must have been stuck in a state of wonder for sometime because Jisung opened the side and scooted himself in, now wearing his pjs.
 “You ok there, space cadet?” He teased you, laughing when you pushed him. 
“In fact, jackass, I am more than ok.”  you set his food down in front of him while he picked something to watch on TV.  “You could even say I’m happy.” 
He chose a Ghibli movie ‘Spirited away’ (one of your favorites) then dug into his Pho. “That was my goal.” Jisung replied with his cheeks full. “I always wanna make you happy.” He said it with a shrug, as if it was no big deal. 
You were so struck with emotion at his statement, your eyes were filled with unshed tears. Here you were, with the most beautiful boy you had ever seen, sitting in a whimsical blanket fort said beautiful boy made for you, eating the food he bought and brought here for you. He braved the viscous weather for you. You couldn’t help the overflow of feelings and the tears started leaking from your eyes. What started as one tear, turned into two, turning into a full rolling stream over your cheeks. 
When you started sniffling is what finally got his attention, his head snapping over to you and he hurriedly set down his food, shuffling closer to you in panic. “What’s wrong?! Do you not like your pho?! We can switch, here take mine please don’t cry!” 
You wiped your eyes, still sniffling but smiling at his franticness, “No, it’s just that.. I love you. So much. I’m so thankful to have you. That’s all.” 
He seemed shocked at your words, his own eyes looking teary now. “Oh my baby, my lover, the apple of my eye. I love you.” He grabbed your hands in his, “ You are my inspiration. Every song I write is because of you. I see you in my dreams, and I feel you in my heart when we are apart. Every emotion I have is evoked by you. If anything, I should be thankful for you!” 
You attacked him in a tight embrace, not even trying to stop crying now. “Stooop being soooooo sappy!” you complained even though you both knew you loved it. He hugged you back just as tight, burying his face in your hair. 
It was like a release, the way both of you were able to let go of everything inside, both of you completely relaxing into each other. It was always easy to be with Jisung. You had only been together for a little over a year, but Jisung had said (you agreed) you both had to have been lovers in another life. That your fates were intertwined. He claimed it was some pact created before the dawn of time to fate you both together for eternity. Soulmates. 
You held each other until your sniffling stopped. Just taking in each other's presence. You were the first to pull away, wiping your eyes for the final tears. He gave your cheek a kiss and picked up his food, stuffing his face. You giggled at him then clicked play on the tv, and picked up your food. Thankfully it was still warm. 
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The howling outside only grew stronger as the evening went on. Every so often the windows would rattle and alarm you both, but the scare only ever lasted a second. Your boyfriend had you curled into his side as you were in the middle of your second movie. The whole apartment was dark sans the string lights and the tv, it was the perfect calm to the storm outside. 
His hand was between your thighs, just keeping warm between your skin. It wasn’t a sexual act but you could feel your skin heating up at his touch anyways. You hadn’t been touched in weeks, since before he left this last time. Not even by your own hands, though it was more like whenever you try it doesn’t feel the same. Your body craves him so much you can’t get off without him so why bother.  His hand was all you could focus on; knowing he was so close to where you needed him yet he made no moves to close the distance. The man seemed to be paying attention to the movie, if his little hums of laughter was any indication. How was he supposed to know he was unintentionally making you soaking wet? Did he really not notice your silent squirming?
“Sungie” you whispered, moving your face closer to his ear. He hummed in acknowledgement. “Can I tell you something?” He hummed again, “ I’m really wet right now.” you placed a kiss to his ear and he shivered visibly. 
“You can't just say things like that!” He turned to you, his eyes wide and his cheeks red. 
“Why not?” you giggled at his reaction. “It’s true. ‘Ve been drenched since you put your hand in between my thighs.” 
He accidentally let out a groan at your dirty words, biting his lip. He turned on his side and pulled your mouth to his, his wet tongue immediately shoving itself in your mouth. His kiss was sloppy- needy even- his soft lips smothering over yours messily. Jisung had been waiting for the right moment to make a move, not wanting you to feel taken advantage of. If only he had known how bad you had wanted him, he would have been on you (and in you) sooner.
His hand that was between your thighs traveled up to your core, feeling you from the outside of your sleep shorts. You let out a whimper when his fingers deftly rubbed over your clothed slit. He stroked you there for a second while his mouth invaded your own, just letting his fingers run along the seam. When you bucked your hips into his hand he finally gave in and let his hand wander into your bottoms. He was immediately able to feel just how badly you needed him. 
“Fuck. you really are drenched, you little devil. Is it all for me?” he bit your lip in between words, his pupils dilated at the liquid he felt coming out of you. 
“Uh huh, always for my Sungie. My sweet boyfriend always makes me sooooo wet for him.” You responded, moaning when he pushed a finger inside. He was an expert with his fingers, those years of guitar coming quite in handy, so he knew exactly how to crook his digits up right into your sweet spot. “Sung, fuck, so good.” 
You brought one of your own hands down to the growing bulge in his sweats, cupping him the way he likes. Now you were both letting out little moans as you touched each other. Ji added another finger and used his thumb to rub your clit. 
“Sungiiie, wanna ride you. Pleaaassee” you tried to push him onto his back. He let you with no hesitation, removing his fingers from you. 
“Oh absolutely, baby.” He ripped his own shirt over his head then laid on his back, tugging his sweat pants down his thighs. Once his pants were down you threw your leg over his thighs, settling yourself atop his member, the precum rubbing on your folds. Ji already looked like he wanted to cum at that little contact.
 You tossed your own shirt to the floor beside you and his hands shot straight up to cup your breasts. He was panting as he rubbed on your chest, his thumbs brushing over your nipples. “Mmm always so soft, can never get enough of your soft skin.” 
You hummed, shifting your hips to rub yourself over his shaft, your arousal coating him and letting you glide over him. His mouth formed a little ‘o’ as he looked up at you through his lashes.  He was just as desperate for you as you were for him, “Lover, baby, sweetheart-please let me put it in. Need to feel you around me.” His neediness was showing hard. 
“Since you asked so nicely…” You tried your best to smirk but it came out more crooked than you hoped. You reached down underneath you to grab his member. You lifted yourself up slightly to line up his cock to your opening, and then sunk down on him inch by inch. When you had taken his whole length you threw your head back as a moan came out loudly. “F-fuck Hannie, always fill me so good.”
“Nghh y/n, oh my god. So warm around me. So fucking tight.” His eyes closed as you sat on him fully. Your boyfriend let his hands run up and down your torso with his thumbs still finding your nipples each time he went back up. 
You let yourself adjust to his thickness for a moment, before you began to roll your hips back and forth. The friction felt delicious. Every motion let you feel every ridge of him within your walls. “M-missed your cock, Sung.” 
“Missed you more, my sweets. Missed your pussy. Mmmmm missed everything about you.” One thing about your boyfriend is when he made love to you, he didn’t know how to shut the fuck up. “ m’ never leaving you again. Never leaving this pussy again. You’re gonna be stuck with me forever. Gonna have to pry you from me. Fuck!” He yelled the last part when you started bouncing on him. 
“Wan’ tha’. Wanna keep you inside forever.” You cooed at him, gaining a rhythm now. Your thighs were already burning but the pleasure out weighed the pain. You placed your hands on his chest for support, riding him like your life depended on it. 
The touches he gave you were getting rougher, fingers digging into your sides, indents of his painted nails leaving small crescents in your skin. “Oh oh please, baby, wanna fill you, wanna cum in you, please baby. M’ so good for you. Just wanna give you my love.” His hips were bucking as he got closer to his high, unable to keep himself together. 
“You are so good f’ me, Sungie. Always the best boy, making me feel so fucking good.” You took one of his hands in yours and took it off of your ribs and brought it down to your clit. “Rub it, make me cum, Sungie. Can’t cum without you.” 
Immediately he began to rub harsh circles on your bundle, his rhythm on the nub being perfect. Jisung lived to please you, he took great pride in knowing exactly how to touch you. His need for praise was too high for him to have a lack of attention. 
Your thighs began to shake as your orgasm was creeping up on you. You could tell Ji was trying to get you there, his own release about to burst. He was drooling as you looked down at him,  and his big eyes were leaking salty tears. His brown eyes were blown out, dark with intense lust for you.
“M’ gonna cum, princess, gonna cum in you. Gonna fill you up, baby.” His voice was straining as he warned you. 
“Do it, cum in me. Make me yours Ji. You deserve it.” Once you gave him permission the floodgates opened, and he let go inside of you. He was shaking and squirming under you, his hips bucking wildly. His loud whines filled the room, mixing with the howls from the wind outside, creating this beautiful symphony. Witnessing his intense pleasure and feeling his warmth fill you caused you to fly over the edge after him. Your own whimpers follow soon after. 
“Kiss me, please angel.” He begged through his teary whines. You leaned down and captured your lips with his, swallowing each other's moans. You physically couldn’t keep yourself on top of him any longer. As soon as the shocks of your orgasm subsided you fell directly on top of him, letting his arms cage you against him as you both fought to get your breath back. 
Jisung just held you against him, keeping his member inside and just embracing how warm you were. Yeah he had missed the sex, but what he missed more was the intimacy. How the both of you could sit here and just exist within each other. He really loves you more than anything, and he knows you love him just as much. He had told you time and time again you were cosmically aligned, and now more than ever, he felt how true it was. 
If there's one thing he could absolutely be certain of, it's that right here, under the fairy lights, with you close to him as you peppered his face with wet kisses, was one of the highlights of his life. 
Maybe it was a good idea to bring the little black box that hid within his bag. 
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