#i’m just going to repeat something else i saw someone say once now

[keefscafe]

cassian andor thoughts in the tags if you even care

[sunvmars]

sour | s.r. [2]

pairing: steve rogers x afab/fem reader

↞ previous | next ↠

word count: 3.2k

warnings: swearing, brief mentions of abortion, pregnancy/pregnant reader- that's ab it

summary: you and steve discuss plans for the pregnancy, steve faces the consequences of his actions

a/n: oh boy have i got a little plot twist coming for y'all soon. also, the chapters will get longer as more of the story is revealed!

“I’m pregnant, Steve.”

Steve's hold on you became a little tighter. He found himself unable to fully process the information you'd just dropped on him; you being pregnant wasn't something he had even considered. You stood still in his arms, allowing him time to process the news and awaiting any type of response from him. He took a deep breath, his mind racing with thoughts and emotions. The words kept repeating in his head; she’s pregnant, she's pregnant, she's…pregnant.

"Steve? Did you hear me?" you questioned, voice slightly muffled by how you were being pressed into his chest.

Only after hearing your voice again did he move. He released his grip on you and took a step back to look you in the eyes. His eyebrows furrowed, his expression containing a mix of disbelief and confusion. There was something else hidden below the surface of his gaze too- a deep-rooted concern. A concern not only for you but for the tiny little life growing inside of you too, the life both of you created.

"What..? I'm sorry, this is just, uhm, wow."

You cock an eyebrow up at him, "That's all you've got to say?"

When he doesn't respond, you scoff. His eyes search the room as he tries to avoid direct eye contact with you.

"Well, now that you've made this abnormally awkward, I think I'm gonna go home now," you chuckle, trying to hide your irritation, ''Since I'm having your baby, please feel free to call me when you've got something else to add, alright?"

He grabs your arm when you turn to leave, "Wait. I'm sorry, y/n. Come inside, please. We can talk in here.”

Reluctantly, you allowed Steve to guide you into the apartment. His grip on your arm stayed gentle but firm like he thought you were gonna turn and run away at any moment. Once fully inside, you noticed how everything seemed so familiar yet foreign at the same time. Most of the pictures were off the wall except for two.

One picture was one that Tony had taken at the beach a year ago. The photo was of you, Steve, and Bucky sitting in the sand. You were laying in Steve's lap with your head resting on his chest while playing rock, paper, scissors with Bucky for the last slice of Steve's birthday cake.

The other photo just had you and Steve on your first date. You'd made him take a picture with you in front of the movie theater you went to. It was the oldest theater in town and, at some point during the night, you made a joke about how the theater was the only thing as old as him in the city.

He'd rolled his eyes at the joke but found himself unable to contain a smile when he saw your face light up as you laughed. You were witty, and that was his favorite thing about you, even if he was on the butt end of the joke. As long as you still had that pretty smile on your face, he didn't care how many jokes you made about him.

The soft, white couch you'd picked out together when the two of you first moved in was still there too and so was your favorite vase. The vase was missing the flowers though- the flowers he'd come home with every Friday without fail. More often than not, the ones he bought the week before weren't even dead yet, but he'd buy you new ones anyways.

"Ma used to tell me that if someone buys you flowers and they don't die for a long time, that means they really love you. But it's unavoidable that they'll die eventually, right? So I figured that if I buy you new ones before the old ones die then you'll never get the chance to forget how much I love you," he explained, leaning down to place a kiss on your forehead.

"Right, but what if I forget anyway?" you joked with a smile.

And then he shrugged and gave you a peck on your nose, "Then it's a good thing I'll be right here to remind you, honey," he cooed.

You bit your tongue, forcing the lump in your throat to go back down upon remembering all of the moments you shared. This was your home until just a couple of months ago, and now it felt like you were standing in a shell of what used to be your safe space.

Steve led you to the living room, the last room you'd been in before he gave up on your future together. He gestured for you to take a seat and you plopped into your favorite recliner that didn't even seem like it'd been touched since you left. The tension in the room was palpable as he sat on the far end of the couch, the side farthest away from you.

"You scared I'm gonna bite you or something?" you joked, rubbing a hand over your aching stomach.

He gave a short-lived chuckle before speaking, "Listen, I'm sorry for my reaction," he began, his voice filled with sincerity, "I didn't expect this, and I'm sure you didn't either."

You nodded to show your understanding, "It's alright, this is a lot for both of us."

"What do you wanna do..?"

"Me?"

His brain blanks as he tries to think of whether or not he'd said something wrong.

"Yeah?" he finally says, almost saying it like a question.

"It's not just my decision, Steven. You get a say in this too."

"I do?"

You laugh a little at his confusion, "Yes. You do."

"I'm sorry, it's just that with everything that happened I... I'm trying to say that I'd understand if you didn't want me involved in this decision," he says, looking down at the floor to avoid your eyes.

"Steve, look at me," you begin, pausing until he looks back up at you, "I wouldn't leave this choice up to just me. Whatever decision we make has to work for both of us though."

He looks up at you with surprise etched all over his face, "Thank you, y/n. It's more than I deserve."

"Mhm, tell me about it," you sigh while still rubbing a hand soothingly over your stomach, trying to ease the nausea.

He's silent, avoiding the dreaded breakup conversation. Luckily enough, neither of you are ready to have that discussion yet. He claps his hands together in his lap quietly and clears his throat to get rid of the silence.

"Do you know how far along you are?"

"No, not yet. I have to find a doctor. I'll ask Tony to make the call for me tomorrow."

"So, what do you wanna do?" he asks again, emphasizing the 'you,' "Have you thought about...you know?"

"The alternative? Yeah, I thought about it for a bit, but I think I wanna keep it. I've only known about the little guy for less than an hour and I'm already attached."

What you said was true, you did think about every possible alternative from abortion to adoption; but at some point on the way here, you'd decided on keeping it. You feel a bit of hope when you look down at your stomach. You smile to yourself, momentarily forgetting all your troubles. Though your smile is quickly replaced with a frown when you remember the situation at hand. You look up to lock eyes with him, seeing he's clearly hesitating to respond.

"But if you don't want this, I can raise him or her alone. Y'know, move out of town or move a few states away to be closer to family so there are no unwanted run-ins. The whole nine yards," you say softly, wiping a stray tear off your cheek.

"Oh, y/n," he mumbles, "I'm sorry. I didn't want it to be like this- I didn't want any of this."

You take in his words, trying to make sense of them. You felt your heart beginning to break as he remained silent. How can he just give up so easily before it even gets hard? Not that you'd pressure him into raising a kid he didn't want, I mean you did give him the choice, but his words still come as a surprise.

"So, the whole nine yards it is then?"

"I'm sorry, y/n..."

“I need you to look at me and say it, please.”

Steve looked around the room, appearing as though he was about to cry. His eyes finally land on you and you swear there's bits of guilt and regret in them.

"I don't want this baby."

That was all you needed. Hearing him say the words to you only solidified that y/n l/n and Steve Rogers didn't stand another damn chance. You sniffled as you stood up, trying to conceal any glimpse of sadness he could possibly see in you. You make your way to the door and go to turn the handle only for him to start speaking and stop you in your tracks.

"Y/n. I'm sorry, okay? I wasn't expecting any of this. I don't know what I want yet."

"Of course you do, Steven, you just said it," you say with a fake smile as you turn to look at him, "I'm not upset with you for not wanting this, but I'm disappointed that you're not the man I thought you were. If you change your mind, you know where to find me, but decide soon because I won't let you be in and out of our lives."

With that, you leave and quietly shut the door behind you.

The drive back to the tower is entirely too slow and painful. You slipped your shoes off once back inside the comfort of your room and made your way to the bathroom to run a bath. After sinking in the warm bubbles and water, you unlocked your phone to unblock Steve's number. You awaited a text as you bathed- a text that never came, that is. You felt a little silly for ever thinking he'd want this with you but brush the feeling off quickly as it makes you feel physically sick.

You dry off, slip into your favorite night clothes, then slip under your covers. After trying to fall asleep for four hours and either waking up after a few minutes or not being able to fall asleep at all, you text Bucky to see if he's awake. It's about 3 a.m., but he responds after only five minutes to tell you he's coming to your room. The fact that he knew you wanted him to come over without saying it had a smile spreading across your lips.

When he arrived, you hugged him tightly and let out a shaky breath you'd been holding. He pulled away from the hug and looked at you with a concerned expression painted on his face.

"What's wrong?" he asks, hands resting on your arms.

"I'm pregnant, Buck."

You laugh a little to hide the way your voice cracked but Bucky sees right through it. He frowns at the sight of you, taking in the dark bags under your eyes and your skin that was paler than your usual tone.

"Let's go sit down, yeah?" he smiles warmly.

The two of you sit on your bed in silence as you lay your head on his shoulder. You make small talk after a few minutes, Bucky mainly asking questions about what you plan to do and how you feel.

"I'm guessing you told Steve?" he inquires.

He feels you nod slowly against his shoulder and he takes it as a sign to continue.

"And how did he take it?"

You shrug before speaking, "It seemed like he wanted to be a part of it all at first...then he said he didn't want this, but then he said he wasn't sure."

"Huh," he sighs out of confusion, "You know I'm here for you though, right? Both of you are my best friends, no matter how stupid he's being."

"I know you are," you reply.

"I know it's early and all, but have you thought about if you want a girl or boy?" he asks cautiously, worried the topic might upset you, "If you keep it, that is," he quickly adds.

"Buck, can I be honest with you?"

"Of course."

"I went to Steve's to get his input, but I think I decided to keep it as soon as I found out about it. I hate Steve so much right now, but this baby is a piece of both of us. I can't bring myself to get rid of something so innocent just for being a part of him," you explain, "I know it's not that simple for other people, but I did want kids with him eventually. I'm not unhappy with the pregnancy, I'm unhappy with the circumstances. Boy or girl, I'll be overjoyed either way."

He smiles to himself briefly, "You've got the biggest heart, you know that? You'll be a wonderful mother, y/n, and I mean that."

As hard as he tries to come up with an explanation for his friend's odd behavior, he can't. He'd promised you that he wouldn't go digging for answers when you broke up, you'd told him you didn't care to know and that it wasn't his problem. You're his friend, so he respected that. But now? Now it wasn't just you that Steve was abandoning, which meant that now he had to have answers.

Your breathing slows after a little bit, a sign that he recognizes as you getting sleepy. Slowly, he lays down, cradling your body so that you lay down with him. He lets you rest your head on him as he strokes your hair back soothingly. He waits until he hears your soft snores to gently ease your head onto your pillow before getting off the bed. He'd decided that he was going to get answers, even if it was three-forty in the morning.

Back at the apartment, Steve had only moved once to turn off the lights, pour a glass of alcohol, and sit in your recliner. He would never say it now but he hated being alone in the apartment without you. This wasn't his home, and it never was, not without you there with him. The space that used to be filled with your laughter and your love now felt void of anything other than cold. He sat in the dark, alone with his thoughts, as he did almost every night since you broke up.

His phone buzzed, startling him out of his thoughts. The timing of him getting a message was unusual given the late hour. He picked up the phone and saw it was from Bucky, he smiled softly in hopes that his friend would offer some sort of help. He was sadly mistaken.

Bucky: We need to talk.

Steve frowned at the cryptic message as he typed a response.

Steve: About what?

Bucky's reply was swift.

Bucky: You know exactly what.

A knock sounded at the door no more than ten minutes later. He sighed, mentally preparing himself for whatever talking to he was about to get.

"It's open," he called out.

The door opened to reveal Bucky. As he walked in, the light from outside lit up his face and allowed Steve to see his expression of concern and irritation. He closed the door behind him and then turned to face Steve.

"I'm starting to worry you're turning into a vampire or something, punk. Why are you sitting with all the lights off again? Haven't we had this talk before?" he questions, flipping the overhead light on, "Have you been crying again?"

Steve groans and rubs his wet eyes with his free hand, "No," he lies.

His eyes narrow in Bucky's direction as he walks towards where he's sitting. Steve then brings the drink up to his lips to take a sip only to have it yanked away.

"Buck-"

"Now this is new, is this alcohol?" Bucky asks, bringing the glass up to his nose only to recoil at the scent, "Steve, oh my God, What is in this?"

"Whiskey, tequila, a little bit of everything. Well, everything she left here."

Bucky looks away, desperately trying to contain a laugh, "You can't even get drunk. What are you doing? What's the end goal here?"

"The taste helps me forget how big of an idiot I am," Steve confesses as he snatches his drink back, "It's like a punishment."

"Glad you know you're an idiot, it makes my job here easier."

"Did she send you over here," Steve asks, looking up at Bucky through his eyelashes.

"No, she didn't. But she told me what happened and I came here on my own," Bucky responds, "You know as well as I do that she can fight her own battles."

"Then why are you here?"

"To check on you. And like you said, you're an idiot. I'm here to figure out why you're being such an idiot, though. Whatever Steve you've been for the last four months isn't the Steve I know."

When he doesn't answer, Bucky continues talking, "I've let this go on for far too long. I should've asked when I noticed you were acting weird, but I chalked it up to how rough that last Hydra mission was. But this whole baby thing is the last straw, Steve. I've had to put up with your dumb decisions recently, I deserve an explanation. The woman carrying your child does more so, but we'll get to that."

Steve let out a heavy sigh and his shoulders slumped as he realized there was no escaping the conversation. Bucky had always been a straightforward friend. For as long as they knew each other, he was never one to beat around the bush, and he wasn't about to start letting Steve get away with stuff now.

"I don't even know where to start," Steve admits, his voice laced with frustration.

He takes another sip of his drink, hoping it might give him the kick he needs to explain himself. His face turns up at the taste and Bucky tries yet again to conceal a laugh.

"Okay, enough of that," he says, taking the drink back out of Steve's hands.

Bucky crosses his arms and sits on the end of the couch closest to Steve, giving him a stern look, "How about you try starting with why you decided to walk away from her? She's the best thing that ever happened to you, Steve, we both know that."

Steve winces at his words. He knew Bucky was right, as he usually was, but facing the same truth every day didn't make it hurt any less. It actually hurt worse since he knew that this entire situation was his fault.

"So?" Bucky says, urging Steve to speak.

Bucky instinctively brings the glass up to his lips and takes a sip. His expression turns from understanding to disgust as he spits the drink back into the cup.

Steve chuckles under his breath, "Habit?"

"Think it was the feeling of the cup in my hand, not sure why I did that. Guess old habits do die hard," Bucky explains, "Anyways, get to the explaining."

"I... I don't know, Buck. I messed up, bad."

"We already know that, care to elaborate?" Bucky prodded.

"It wasn't up to me, Buck," Steve sighs, speaking again when he sees Bucky's confused look, "Remember that Hydra mission you were just talking about?"

taglist! @vicmc624 @tooruen @athenabarnes @blackhawkfanatic

to be added to or removed from the tag list for this series, leave a comment or message me :) submissions and asks are now also open

[princessbrunette]

okay but having to corner stepbro!jj because he gets distant due to guilt now youre all bratty and demanding that he fucks you before you get someone else to - 🐰

godddddd !!!!!!!!!!!!!

₊✩‧₊˚౨ 🍨🩷 🍥 🩷🍨ৎ˚₊✩‧₊

catching him outside about to leave on his bike when he saw you come home, not wanting to be around you cos he can’t control himself :(

he’s bein all distant and evasive just like this :(( barely looking you in the eye and you just wanna know where your fav boy has gone bc he used to be so affectionate and warm with you and now he never wants to spend any time with you!!

standing at his side looking up at him all pouty like “you’re neglecting me, just wanna be around you.”

and he adjusts his cap, turning his head looking away from you so he didn’t have to gaze into those sad doe eyes, saying something mean like “yeah, well… not your boyfriend, am i?”

you go all quiet like “d—don’t say that jayj.”

“well i’m not!” he chuckles, pissed. “i’m your step brother! you should like, you should be seein’ me as a big brother not whatever… whatever the fuck we’ve been doing.” he runs a hand over his face.

“that doesn’t matter…” you pout, scuffing your feet along the floor. even quieter, you mumble out a “i know no one’s gonna make me feel good like you could.”

“what was that?” he gets in your space and you think he’s mad.

“n—nothin’.”

“nah, like— repeat that shit or i’m leavin’. i swear.”

“no one could make me feel good like you’d be able to jj! if you won’t do it… m’gonna have to go and fuck someone else because… because i’m just so achey. need something. you made me that way. it’s your fault.” you’re practically stomping your foot and he’s staring down at you intensely, lips pressed together all pissed off, silent for once in his life.

“alright, jesus christ. get inside. you can’t just say that shit. go.”

₊✩‧₊˚౨ 🍨🩷 🍥 🩷🍨ৎ˚₊✩‧₊

[itsthestutterforme]

Should We Try Again? 1/2 (toxic!Rafe Cameron x toxic!reader)

Summary: Rafe tries to accuse you of cheating, and you did some snooping of your own. And when Rafe found out you went through his phone, you were in for it.

Notes: GIF is not mine, all mistakes are my own, Topper is a really good friend in this fic, reader is black, dark themes (choking, threats, arguing, name calling, overall just toxic behavior)

If any of these making you uncomfortable, pls don’t read. Take care of yourselves.

**

You and Rafe had one of your fights again. The yelling match, screaming in each other’s face kind of fight.

The kind of fight where the police gets called because someone heard glass breaking and shouting.

This particular time, he logged into your Instagram and founded close to 50 DMs from guys commenting on your stories where you posted your OOTDs.

You never opened any of the DMs but there were too many to go unnoticed.

“Do you get off on having other guys want you or something? Huh?” He starts as he abruptly forces his way into the bathroom where you were showering.

“What are you talking about, Rafe?” You snark, ringing out the water from your hair.

“What the hell is this?” He rips the shower curtain open.

“Rafe!” You scold, shutting off the water so none leaks onto the floor. He shoves his phone in your face and repeats, “What the hell is this?”

“They’re DMs, Rafe. Why are you talking to me like I did something wrong?”

“Because you did do something wrong by not blocking these sons of bitches. You like the attention, don’t you? You fucking slut.”

“Don’t you dare call me a slut, asshole. It’s DMs. They don’t mean shit!”

You close the shower curtain so you can resume your shower when he ripped it open again.

“Oh it means something when they’re sending dick pics, Y/N! They want to fuck you!”

“It doesn’t matter if they want me because I’m with you, Rafe. Not them.” You tried to reason.

You were already exhausted from work and you really didn’t need this right now.

“You’ve been sending them nudes, haven’t you?” “Are you fucking serious, Rafe?” “Do I look like I’m joking right now?” He says flatly, his nose flaring angrily.

“No, I haven’t sent anybody nudes. I didn’t even know they sent me dick pics because I don’t open them, Rafe.” He gives you a pointed look and you crossed your arms as a challenge.

It was clear you weren’t going to shower in peace so why not add some fuel to this fire.

“You’re such a hypocrite, you know that? Shame on me for having fifty unopened DMs but everything is okay when you have hundreds of opened DMs?” You antagonize, slowly stepping out of the shower with suds still on your body.

You watch as his face fell for a few seconds before it hardens once again.

“You’ve been going through my phone?” He asks. “Of course I have! Because I know you’ve been in my phone, desperate to find secrets to use against me. So I figure why not dig up some secrets of my own.”

“Y/N,” he warns lowly, taking a step towards you.

“What did you find?” He wrote down a few things about the cross.

Like where he’s already looked and potential places where it might be. But he hid those notes behind a passcode in his journal.

There were also a few texts of Ward asking ‘if it was taken care of’. Garret’s body.

There was no way you could figure out the passcode, right?

“What are you so scared I would find?” You questioned, purposely being vague. There was no point in being specific, if he was going to connect the dots for you.

His anxiety got the best of him and he wraps a hand around your throat, giving it a warning squeeze.

“Stop being cute and tell me what you saw.” He orders.

There wasn’t a constant pressure so you were able to breathe fairly normal. But that didn’t mean he couldn’t change his mind.

“I only went through your social media and some of your messages. Nothing else.” His hand twitched around your throat when you mentioned messages.

“I just wanted to see if you were texting others girls.” You added, wrapping your hands around his wrist.

“What else?” “Nothing else, I swear.”

“Don’t fucking lie to me, Y/N.” “I’m not lying to you.” He pulls away from your throat and you instinctively touched your collar bone.

His gaze softens when you stepped away from him. He itched to get close to you and apologize for over reacting, but he still wasn’t sure that you didn’t know about the gold and the bodies.

So his hands remained by his sides, tightening every so often.

“What are you protecting?” You asked cautiously. “Don’t pull that shit again.” He states before storming out of the bathroom and slamming the front door of your house.

That was a few days ago, and you haven’t spoke to each other since. The most interaction you’ve had was him viewing your story. That’s it.

You’ve been going straight home after work, not wanting to interact with anyone unless you had to.

But a small part of you wished you’d come home to Rafe waiting for you on your door step or him come to see you during your break.

But he never did. That was enough for you to come to the conclusion that he stopped caring about you.

He was so worried about protecting something or someone that was willing to choke you out to protect it.

You’ve seen him anxious about a few things but nothing set him off like you did that night.

You were watching one of your comfort movies with your fleece blanket wrapped around you, eating some stir fry you ordered on UberEats when your phone chimed.

Topper: hey you doing okay?

Tossing the phone back on the bed, you used the chopsticks to dip a piece of beef into the speciality sauce before eating it.

Your phone chimed again.

Topper: We were friends before you started dating Rafe, remember? I care about you too.

You: I assume Rafe told you everything?

Topper: Just that you had an argument and you’re on a break

You: Well that’s an oversimplification.

Topper: I’m throwing a party tonight. You should come.

You: I’m not exactly in the mood to get hit on by a bunch of drunk dudes.

Topper: Stick by me and you won’t have that problem.

You: You’re right. Instead, you would have a Rafe sized problem.

Topper: I’m not scared of Rafe.

Topper: Just come by for a few. It makes me feel uneasy that you’re by yourself at home all this time.

Topper: Please.

You: Fine, Topper.

Topper: Great! I’m on my way.

**

You hated yourself for how quick your eyes locked in on Rafe as soon as he walked into the party wearing a navy blue shirt and a white hat that matched his white cargo shorts.

He dapped up a few guys that greeted him by the front door and looked straight up to where you were sitting next to Topper.

He found you almost immediately with an expressionless face.

Your heart skipped a beat that he looked for you but that feeling of elation left you as quickly as it came.

He didn’t reach out to you for three days. No call. No text. No apology. He was done and now it was your turn to feel the same.

“You two are like magnets,” Topper says from behind you. “Toxic ones,” he eventually adds with a chuckle.

“I knew you were going to say that,” you teased, playfully hitting his shoulder.

Sadness kicked your gut when two girls approached Rafe, one of them ran her hands over his chest as she went to whisper something in his ear.

“I’m going to grab another drink.” You said when you notice Rafe coming up the stairs with the girls.

“I’ll come with you,” you gave him a look. “What? I meant it when I said stick by me. Let’s go.”

He lets you lead the way and you go down the second set of stairs but you stopped abruptly, peering down at your jewelry.

Everything you were wearing was gifted to you by Rafe, even down to the earrings. You still wore the R golden plate necklace and matching anklet. You had his signet ring on your thumb because that was the only finger it could fit.

“Everything okay, Y/N?” Topper questions. Rafe was watching the entire interaction from the loveseat you and Topper were just sitting on.

You bent down to take off your anklet and moved to take off your earrings next.

“Can you help me take off the necklace?” You asked, pulling off the ring and placing it with the other jewelry.

“Sure,” he agrees, pushing your passion twists out of the way.

You felt his warm hand brushing against the back of your neck when he unclasped the necklace.

He put the necklace in your outstretched hand. You walked back up the few stairs you crossed and approached Rafe whose eyes were still trained on you.

You let out a shaky breath before taking his warm hand into your own and giving him the jewelry. You were beginning to miss his touch.

Guilt flashed across his face, looking down at his hand. You avoided his gaze and left him without another word, rushing down the stairs and Topper followed after you.

“Well that was dramatic,” one of the girls says, rolling her eyes while her friend eyes the gold carat in Rafe’s hand that easily amounted to 75k.

“Can I have the earrings?” She asked and before Rafe could respond, she reached for them anyway.

Rafe caught her hand in a tight grip and she whimpers at the pressure.

“You’re hurting me,” she groans.

“No one told you to touch what’s hers,” he shoves her to the ground. “Hey! You asshole!” Her friend snaps, standing from the couch and helps her friend to her feet.

He doesn’t spare them another glance as he digs in his pocket for a baggie to do a few lines.

“Y/N,” Topper calls, finally catching up with you in the kitchen. “Are you okay?” He asks you, examining your face for anything he could read.

“You should check on him,” you poured yourself a shot in a small solo cup and knocked it back, barely making a face.

“I’m checking up on you,” “It needed to be done, okay. All of it were just reminders of what I don’t have anymore.” You explain, pouring yourself another shot.

“That was very brave for you to do.” “Then why do I feel like shit?” You huffed after taking another shot and he stops you from pouring another one.

“Because the break up is still fresh, Y/N.” He looks at you like you’re going to fall apart before his very eyes.

His soft eyes examines your face for any micro expression that could give away what you’re thinking.

“Look, Top. I know you’re trying to help and all but if you keep looking at me like that, I’m going to cry.”

“What do you need me to do?”

“I want to enjoy your party. Your birthday is tomorrow. You shouldn’t be spending it watching me cry.”

“That’s not happening. I’m not leaving you.” He shakes his head and you took his hands into yours, much like you did with Rafe.

But Rafe’s hand were warmer.

“It doesn’t make you a bad friend. I’ll find Sarah.” He studied your face once again and you gave him a soft smile.

“Go,” “Alright,” he says, not bothering to hide his disappointment. “I’ll come find you in like ten minutes.”

“Take your time,” he leaves the kitchen and you let out a deep sigh. You shouldn’t be here.

But you didn’t have the heart to ditch Topper on his birthday rager.

You pressed your palms into the cool, granite countertop and bowed your head to release the tension in your neck.

You hadn’t realize someone was in the kitchen with you until you heard footsteps and someone’s low voice. To your surprise, it was Pope standing on the other side of the counter.

“Sorry, were you saying something?” You asked softly, the shot were slowly starting to get to you.

“I said you are too pretty and insanely smart to be treated like an option.”

That was the nicest thing anyone said to you. You haven’t felt valued in a long time.

“Thanks, Pope. That really means a lot.”

His mouth fell open at your words. “You know who I am?”

“Yes I know who you are. Your family makes the best seafood boils in town.” You explained with a chuckle.

“She knows my name,” he said to himself, which he quickly realized you can hear.

“I should haven’t said that out loud,” he admits and you let out a laugh.

“You’re cute,” he scratches the back of his neck to hide how flustered he way. “Um, are you hiding from Rafe in here?”

“Yes, I am.” You admitted, crossing your arms. “Well if you want some company, my friends are by the bonfire outside. If you want to join. O-only if you want to. I’m not trying to force anything or-“

You interrupted his rant to say, “Sure. I’ll go with you.” You took a solo cup and swung by the keg on the way out, offering some to Pope.

“By the way, what makes you think I’m insanely smart?” “I’m a TA for Mr. Patterson. He still uses your test as a grading key.” He explains after taking a swig of your beer.

“Of course he does. I loved his class.” You admitted with a chuckle. “What is this?”

JJ stands from the chair and motions between you and Pope with his ringed pinky.

“I told her she can hang out with us.” “Hey, JJ.” You greet with a small wave.

“‘Sup, sweetheart. Want a hit?” He offered a blunt to you and you graciously accepted.

He had a grin on his face as he watched you take a hit. He expected you to cough or at least have your eyes water from the potency but much to his surprise, you exhaled the puff of smoke slowly without a fuss.

The mix of the weed and the tequila was throwing your head in a spin. “Never pegged you to be a pothead,” “I’m full of surprises, Maybank.”

A drunk Rafe stumbles outside in search for you when he finds you laughing with Pope and JJ.

JJ noticed your shivering whenever there was a breeze and peeled off his jacket, draping it over your shoulders.

Rafe wasn’t even aware what was happening until his vision started to blur.

He was crying.

[lady-ashfade]

Through My Window. Pt.2

Day 17 of celebration marathon.

-♡Book!older!Percy Jackson x Fem!reader.

-£ this fic was very popular and I have been asked uncountable times to make a part two, some people will be disappointed but I hope I can please some!

-£ Part one.

-£ words: 1.7k

-£ warnings: angst, seeing your ex, crying, reader being rightfully upset, college reader & percy, reconnecting from the past, I had a hard time writing this, so poor writing.

You’d like to say you got over him.

That everything was placed in a box and forgotten and never thought of again. Tragically you couldn’t seem to get percy out of your thoughts. Late at night you’d see him fighting monsters, saw him running for his life, or the past moments you shared. But they were only dreams, and he wasn’t going to come back for you. The college life treated you well enough and even if you couldn’t get him out of your mind the new friends you made helped keep him out from time to time.

You could lied to yourself that the boys you spent time with at parties or your dorm didn’t make you feel special. But they weren’t him and you hated that. Percy was somewhere with someone like him— better for him then you and he was happier. He had it all while you stayed the same girl who longed to feel his love again, to see his smile and brush his hair.

You missed him. Everything about him was stuck in your mind like a constant playing movie on repeat. It was years you both knew each other, he was a friend before anything so your heart wanted him close again. Even though you knew it would sting to glance upon him once more.

Today you had extra time to yourself in between classes so you went off campus to get yourself something to eat. Thankfully the small shop you loved was empty and not overflowing with business. And it was a perfect day to eat outside and review your notes, so you did just that. Sitting underneath a tree at a bench and eating your lunch. It was peaceful. You liked the light breeze on your skin and rustling of the leaves in your ears made you smile.

“You’ve got something in your hair,” he chuckled and pulled out a leaf from your hair making you role you eyes. He smirked at your attitude and leans to press his lips to yours. And you couldn’t stay mad at him after that.

“I can’t believe how beautiful you are.”

Suddenly the breeze made it easier for your spine to feel a shiver as you remembered the feeling of his hand on your cheek. It was like remembering a ghost of your past, making you cold and icy. The last words he ever said to you were him apologizing. It made your skin crawl, he was sorry? Time couldn’t heal you when all he said was “I’m sorry” like it was a simple fix for you. You weren’t enough for him, and you came to terms with that but he lied to you all that time, only to dump you before prom.

Now percy wasn’t happy with himself. He never wanted to leave you, he swore to be by your side even when odds weren’t on his favor and that’s exactly what he didn’t do. He left your side and broke your heart with something that wasn’t true. It was no secret that you were everything to him and he worshipped the ground you walked on. And that’s exactly why he had to leave you, you were his greatest weakness to his enemies. And the lie about annabeth made his head turn with regret and guilt.

But you brought it up and at the time it was a good coverup to make you hate him— which he was right. You did hate him and rightfully so. Each night he went to sleep with you in his mind, and then when he woke he was never left with your voice in his head. Percy knew you probably wouldn’t want him back but he’d never want anyone else. That doesn’t mean he would blame you for moving on, you deserved to be loved and he wanted you happy.

but that was all forgotten when he saw you now. just a perfect as ever.

“Excuse me,” His throat went dry as he approached closer to you. he should have kept walking, leaving you alone because he hurt you.

“Do you had to know anywhere around here that takes golden drachmas?” All the breath in his chest went away when you turned your head to look at him. He knew he missed you but he could cry on his knees right now upon seeing you again but reality reminded him quickly. Your eyes were shocked and wide like he was a monster of some sort only here to hurt you.

“What are you doing here?” You hiss and grab ahold of your notebook to ground yourself. Glancing around the place for any sign of anyone else, her for example. But you saw no sign of the blonde beauty anywhere.

“Honestly, I heard you moved here for college and hoped to run into you,” he spilled and walked closer with his hands sweating. “Which I now believe sounds crazy.” he gives you awkward smile which you don’t return, instead you get up from your seat and pick up your things in a rush. your books starts to fall and papers flying while you groan and try to catch everything. He wanted to help you but you held up your hand to stop him from coming closer.

“I told you,” once you had everything in your bag again you stomped your feet and glare at him, “I never want to see you again.”

Percy remembered those words like they had happened only moments ago. He also remembers the tears rolling down your eyes when you shouted at him to leave. He was haunted each day. What hurt him worse was how you stormed away from him leaving him like a sad puppy…exactly like he left you. But he wasn’t going to leave you thinking any longer that he would choose anyone over you.

“Wait,” he jogged behind you. he knew you heard him when you started to speed up to get away from him. “Please, Baby—” it’s been forever since he called you that and he knew his mistake as soon as he let them slip. You turned quickly with a fire in your eyes that could burn him down to ash with your hatred.

“You have no right to call me that!” Your voice echoes through the air as you point your finger at him. He stopped in his tracks just a few inches before you and his head hung in shame. “Not after everything you’ve done.”

“That’s what I’m here to see you, I never-”

“I don’t care for your reasons or apology— I want you to leave me alone.” And that was the one thing he couldn’t do. Not yet.

“Just give me a chance to explain why I left.” He pleads with begging eyes. You shake your head with no more control over your emotions to say no to him. Tears pool up in your eyes while trying to wave him away from you.

“You left me—even when you promised.” For the first time in a long time he got to feel you but not in the way he dreamed about, but by you hitting his chest. “You said you’d stay by my side no matter what. You said that I was enough.” Even after you continued to hit his chest you sobbed while he watched with tears of his own.

“You promised.” His arms wrapped around your trembling figure and pulled you close and you gave out in the fight and let him. You cried into his chest while he rubbed your back with no care for anything else but you.

“I never stopped loving you. I lied and I am forever sorry to be the cause of your pain but I had to, I’d rather you hate me then watch you die.” you breathe out and pull away from his chest and look at him. he could see the puzzled look at your face. “I lied about being in love with annabeth. I needed you to hate me so you wouldn’t be targeted and-”

“So you’re saying all of it— the constant feeling like I wasn’t enough…was all a lie?” he wanted to deny it but he couldn’t get anything out of his mouth.

Stepping back and throwing his arms off of you, “really? Now that,” you began to laugh and lean over with your hands wrapping around yourself. “is the most pathetic thing I’ve ever heard. I pictured her kiss you, you telling her that you love her- when it wasn’t happening?” it was a mix of crying and laughing now at yourself, even a hint of anger.

“Hunny..” he reached out for you again but you moved out of the way. you whip you eyes of tears and your cheeks with your smile still on your face. It was all too much for you to handle, seeing him again and the him telling you the truth. So your outburst may have seemed crazy but it was natural for your body to be overwhelmed.

“That’s why you came? Go get it off your conscience,” you tilt your head.

“No, I came to tell you the truth…to see you again, make sure you’re happy.” you could tell by his eyes that he meant all the words. A frown on his face and he looked over you like you’d change in seconds again. 

“How could I have been happy without you? You’re a idiot,” you confess. again, there was not a day that has gone by without thinking of him. “Massive.” He agreed with you with his own smile creeping on his face. You missed him after everything he did.

“But if you’ll have me, I’ll spend the rest of my days making it up to you.” His hand grabbed yours slowly incase you wanted to pull away from him but you didn’t. you wrap your fingers around his, moving closer to him.

“You have a lot of making up to do.” it was a peaceful moment between you both as you smile together.

Maybe you shouldn’t have taken him back. Maybe you should have forgive him on the spot. But you knew that he was met to be in your life or he wouldn’t be here now. Slipping through your window with a wide smile into your dorm room and waiting for a hello kiss from you. And he would continue to come to your window until college was over.

“Someones going to catch you coming through my mind.”

taglist: @maria699669 @purplerose291 @itzmeme @ravenmedows @repostingmyfavs

[slvttyplum]

𖤐 the kings curse | the ryomen sukuna series

your eyes widen, and your hands begin to fidget with discomfort from the random demand.

it was either listen or get killed, but why? could you at least ask that? was your questioning his authority going to get you sliced up?

the questions were running through your mind like a bull seeing red. this was the first and last time you were going to speak out of line, but the questions were eating you alive.

you quickly bow your head from not only "respect," but discomfort as well. all day, it feels like a bad ache has been sitting in your chest from just being around him.

“may i ask why, sir?” your voice was once again squeaky, and a scoff and sigh came from his lips shortly after.

two of his arms cross and two rest on the sides of the tub, his gaze piercing into you so hard that it feels as though something is stabbing at you.

he thinks you’re weak, pathetic, and sorry—someone who can’t even think for themselves; at least that’s what you thought.

“why not? my word against yours. i shouldn’t have to repeat myself again.” his voice was deep, with no hint of emotion. it’s clear where his stance was with you, speaking of line.

what else could you do? like he said, he has all the authority; you have nothing but a job to do.

you slowly took off your pants, and with the robe covering half your body up to your knees, all you could focus on was his gaze.

he knew how to make people nervous, shake with fear, and sick, but why were you so scared of him?

was it because he could kill you with no remorse? kill everyone you cared about? keep you-

“hurry it up.” his voice interrupting your dark thoughts, your hands fumbling to get the last piece of clothing off.

now you’re standing there with nothing but flesh, if it were up to him, he would tell you to take that off as well.

a hum vibrating through his body as he leaned back against the wood, his eyes meeting the ceiling.

he was right; like always, you had a nice body—a great one, no, a divine one. one he hasn’t seen in ages, even when he went scrolling the streets for havoc.

“your posture is sloppy; remove your hands from in front of you.” his head slowly came back up as he looked at you with dead eyes.

you immediately do as he says, removing your hands and placing them by your sides.

it was awkward not knowing what to do with your hands, especially standing in front of a man who demanded it because you had no choice.

“come inside."

the words startling you; of course he meant to come inside the tub, but that was an odd request.

your eyes flicker to the doors but to the tub, walking slowly towards him, your legs about to give out.

his eyes still pierced on you, basically talking to you. your leg slowly lifts up as you place it in the hot water.

his hand immediately pulled you in, your chest colliding with his, the heat from embarrassment and water colliding.

“i’m sorry, master!” you practically scream, even though it wasn’t your fault. your hands jumble as your knees push into the bottom of the tub.

sukuna said nothing, but his two hands that were hanging on the side of the tub came up, gripping your hips tight.

a wince slipping past your lips as your eyes squinted from the pain, your mind quickly came back, and you fixed your face.

even if you both knew you were scared, you couldn’t show it anymore; he already saw you crying. who knew how many strikes you had left, and you didn’t want to find out.

he pushes one side of your hip, and you push the other, sitting in between his big legs. the tub wasn’t small, but it wasn’t huge either.

the air between you is nonexistent; his rough chest pushes against your back as your heartbeat gets faster.

a nail digging into your soft flesh, your breath hitching, and your heat slowing down from the intense pain.

“speaking up would do you good.” his voice startles you, your body still as one of his hands starts tapping on the side of the tub.

“yes, master," was all that came out of your mouth. even if you did have the freedom to speak up, what would you even say?

speak to him about his disgusting sins? tell him to stop. the damage of a thousand years has already been done; you had nothing to say.

another scoff escapes past his lips, his head folding back as he looks at the ceiling. that was your chance to tell him to take his hands off, but you stayed silent. obedient.

after a minute of silence, sukuna slides his hand into your stomach, his big hands practically covering all of it.

he doesn’t stop there; he slowly slides his hand between your legs, the action making your cheeks heat up and a lump form in the back of your throat.

his past words came rushing through your mind. he was right; speaking up would do you good. this was odd.

“master?” you squeeze out past the lump in your throat, his hands not stopping and not a response leaving his mouth.

his touch sends shivers down your spine while also making you uncomfortable; this feels taboo and wrong.

he slides his hand back up and rests on your stomach, pressing down ever so slightly, the movements making you cock an eyebrow.

what was he doing? his aura and his silence only making things scarier, but once again, you stay silent.

his other hand was rubbing up your side; this made you feel embarrassed, and quite frankly, you didn’t know what to do but just let it happen.

his hand finally lands in your jaw, cupping it, his face leaning into your neck but diverting to your ear.

“you were right; you’ve never done any sexual favors.” his voice is still carrying that broody bass as his hands disconnect from your body.

quickly swallowing you out, both your hands in your lap, fiddling. oh, that’s what it was, but why did it matter?

the water settling into your skin as it waved on and off of you with clear, silent movement, the water so clear you could see his markings more clearly.

“if you have a question, ask.” your body is tensing up from his words, which are always so obvious.

“is there a reason why that matters, master?” your voice leaning into the quivering side, your hands clasping together.

maybe you shouldn’t have said that, your body tensing up so bad that you’re almost close to cramping, your toes curling with anticipation for his answer.

“i’ve been around for decades and have not engaged in sexual activity; neither has uruame, so i want no one else around me engaging in that either.”

everything makes sense: why he wants you pure, why he’s glad you haven’t engaged in sexual activity, and why he says you have a nice body.

“are you going to eat me?” you whimper out, tears welling in your eyes. the abrupt comment making sukuna laugh, your tears plopping against the water.

the question should’ve offended him, but it didn't; it could only make him laugh, sliding himself up and getting out the tub.

“no, i’m going to do you something better. come to my chambers on friday at 6... no later.”

the command made you shiver but also relieved you; he wasn’t going to eat you, which was good, but maybe something worse?

[pizzaboerr]

From nothing to something.

(Sanji x reader, part 6)

Part 1 , part 2 , part 3 , part 4 , part 5

Summary: After seeing Sanji with the shop owner Y/N got very sad. Nami comforted her but also wanted to help both Sanji and y/n.

Word count: 2,5K words.

Content warnings: little bit of angst, nothing else really, flirting

Authors note: Here you go, Part 6! Let me know what you think! Been on holiday this week and i’ve written a few parts, Can’t wait to slowly upload them :)

P.S.: Sorry if there are sentences that are grammatically incorrect, English isn’t my first language, so my apologies in advance.

~~—~~—~~—~~

Nami and you excused yourself from the group and decided to go back to the ship and have another drink there, talking about what you saw earlier. Zoro looked at you confused but nodded. “If there is anything, you come and get me okay?” Zoro said and you smiled slightly. “Thank you Zoro.”

As you walked outside you saw the girl looking at you, with a sad look on her face. You turned back to Nami who was holding the door for you.

“There must be a reason he’s with her.” Nami said while closing the door behind you two.

“Yeah, let’s hope. I haven’t really been the nicest to him though.” You said, trying to hold back your tears.

“Hey don’t cry. I’ll ask him when he gets back. Maybe it’s all a misunderstanding.” Nami reassured you.

You nodded and sighed deeply. “I think I fucked it up Nami. Maybe he didn’t like kissing me and he went to her as a backup plan.” You looked at the ground as your eyes swelled with tears.

“I don’t think that would be the case y/n. For now, try not to think about it that much. We’re gonna go back to the ship, have a drink and enjoy ourselves okay?” Nami smiled while grabbing your hand and guiding you to the ship.

~~—BACK AT THE BAR (Before Y/N and Nami left);—~~

As y/n left Sanji, he didn’t know what to think. Sanji touched his lips as y/n entered the bar again. He sighed really loudly as he lit another cigarette. Sanji felt like crying but tried to keep it to himself for now. He threw his cigarette away after taking only a few hits and walked back inside.

Sanji walked straight to the bar and ordered a beer. “Thank you.” He said while he paid for it. He took a few swigs as someone put a hand on his shoulder. Sanji secretly hoped it would be the lovely miss y/l/n, but it was the shop owner from before. “What do you need?” Sanji managed to get out.

“You seem upset, what happened?” She asked.

“You happened. You ruined the chance I had with the love of my life. Now she probably doesn’t want to see me anymore.” Sanji said dramatically while wiping away a tear.

“Sit with me?” She asked while she grabbed his hand. Sanji sighed but followed her. He sat next to her and explained everything that happened. How he started to like her and about the kiss and everything around that.

She completely changed from flirting to actually trying to help. “I can talk to her and say that it’s all a big misunderstanding?” She asked while she rubbed his back, trying to comfort Sanji.

“No it’s best if I do that, explain everything. But I need to sober up first.” Sanji explained, chugging the whole beer and putting the glass away.

“I’m gonna get some water, you want anything love?” Sanji asked the shop owner. “No thank you, I still have some.” She smiled sweetly as Sanji excused himself to get water.

When he returned to the table he started to talk about the whole scenario once again. “When I’m sober, I’ll find her and talk to her.” Sanji kept repeating, while drinking his water.

He wasn’t interested in the girl he was sitting next to. He wanted it to be y/n. He looked up to scan the bar for you but you were nowhere to be found. He sighed once again and placed his head in his hands.

The shop owner saw you and Nami exit the toilets as you froze. She didn’t want to upset you and Sanji more than you already were so she ignored it for now. She saw you two storming off and once you two left she told Sanji.

“I think she just left honey.” She sighed as Sanji looked outside to see Nami and you walking away. Sanji was now crying. “Maybe this all was a mistake.” Sanji sighed as he looked at the girl.

“Thank you for listening, I’m going back to my friends.” Sanji quickly said, grabbing his water and leaving the girl alone while quickly wiping away the rest of his tears.

“Sanji there you are!” Luffy yelled excitedly as he saw Sanji approach. Sanji smiled and sat down next to Ussop.

“Where are the girls?” Sanji asked, hoping they didn’t leave.

“Back at the ship by now.” Zoro mumbled as he took another sip from his nearly finished beer. “Did they say why they left?” Sanji asked.

“They weren’t feeling well, probably drank too much.” Luffy laughed. Sanji nodded and drank the rest of his water. “I’ll check up on them, see if they need anything.” Sanji smiled politely. Zoro glanced at Sanji but decided to keep his thoughts to himself, for now at least.

~~—BACK AT THE SHIP;—~~

Nami helped you calm down and grabbed a drink for the both of you, from Zoro’s stock of course.

You were lying down at the upper deck, stargazing, wirh nami lying next to you. You grabbed a cigarette and lit it before taking a hit.

“Is it okay for me to smoke a cigarette?” You quickly asked Nami, who just laughed and nodded.

“You already lit it so enjoy it.” She smiled.

You both started to chat a little when you heard some footsteps approaching.

Nami and you lied there silently as you were both listening to who it could be. You heard a lighter and knew immediately it would be Sanji. Nami looked at you and sighed silently.

“We’ll give him some time to gather his thoughts and then I’lll talk to him.” Nami whispered to you. You just nodded and listened. You heard him entering the ship, hearing a door open and close. You both sat up and Nami smiled.

Nami and you gave him a few minutes before looking over at you, once again.

“Nothing that can’t be explained right?” Nami smiled soflty. “You go to our room and I’ll tell you what happened when I get back.” Nami was now standing, slowly exiting the upper deck to find Sanji.

This was your sign to make your way to your shared room. You entered the room, gathered stuff to take a shower and made your way to the showers.

You turned on the shower as you stripped yourself from your clothes. You threw them onto the already growing pile of dirty clothes. You took off your makeup before stepping in the shower.

You washed your hair and tried to relax a little bit. The shower seemed to help as you were starting to forget what happened earlier. You were humming a few songs as you stepped out of the shower, drying your hair and got dressed into some oversized shirt and a boxershort.

As you excited the shower you saw Nami exit the kitchen. She smiled as she pointed inside. “Your turn.”

You stood there, frozen. “Absolutely not, Definitely not dressed like this.” You quickly said while you turned around, but it was already to late. Nami grabbed your arm and dragged you to the kitchen door. “It will be all right. I don’t think he cares, Just listen to him.” Nami reassured you.

“Nami I thought you were gonna explain it to me before you force me to talk to him.” You whispered/shouted.

“Yeah and I’ve changed my mind. Just go in.” She said a little bit irritated.

“No I’m not going in ther-Nami!” You yelled as she pushed you into the kitchen, closing the door behind you.

You looked up and saw Sanji. He took off his blazer and tie and unbuttoned a few buttons of his shirt. His hair was messy. There were cigarette buds everywhere and it looked like he had been crying.

He looked up and you felt terrible. You were the one responsible for this, If you just had listened to him instead of leaving him after he kissed you, this wouldn’t have happened.

“Hey Sanji.” You mumbled as you sat down on a chair.

“Hello love, looking good.” He said with a raspy voice. He really looked like a mess but you thought he also looked kinds hot, except for his red and puffy eyes of course.

You stood up and walked over to him. He froze in place, expecting you to hit him. You hugged him while you tried not to cry. “Thank you Sanji. I’m so sorry that I didn’t listen. I’m sorry I left you out there alone.” You mumbled into his chest.

He still wasn’t hugging you back so you looked up at him. He was holding back his tears as best as he could but it wasn’t working. You let go of him and he sighed. You were about to take a step back as he pulled you back into a hug.

“It’s all a misunderstanding Mi Amore. I was confused after you left me alone outside, so I went in to get a beer, that’s when the shop owner came to me. She asked what was wrong and asked me if I wanted to sit with her while I explained everything, so I did.-“ He started to get explain, while hugging you tightly. “At first I hoped it to be you, but you were nowhere to be found. The girl told me you left, because I didn’t see you leave. I wanted to sober up before talking to you, but that didn’t quite happen.” He said softly, while pointing to the empty wine bottels and a glass spread around the counter.

“Nami told me what happened, on your side.” He whispered. You looked up at him and he was already looking at you. You sighed and looked away, you felt your cheeks brighten by the second.

“I understand where you come from love, but I would never ever forget something like that, I wanted to kiss you for a long time now.” He admitted while loosening his grip on you. You let go of him and took a step back. You quickly grabbed a few napkins as you wiped away his tears. You didn’t say anything and just smiled softly.

“As I said earlier, I’m sorry Sanji.” You said softly after a little while. You took another step back and looked at him one more time. He was now slightly blushing at how close you were standing and with nothing more than a shirt and boxers.

He looked at you and smiled. “It’s okay my love. I’m happy we could talk about it before going to bed.” He said lighting another cigarette. There was no tention between the two of you, but you could see there was still something on Sanji’s mind.

You laughed softly, while leaning against the counter behind you. “My mom and dad used to say something like that too.-“ You started. He looked at you and you continued. “If we ever had an argument with someone, for example my dad. We could talk it out before bed because we had one rule. Never go to bed angry. I guess some things never change.” You chuckled as you turned around and started cleaning the counter.

Sanji just looked at you as you were cleaning. If he wasn’t as drunk as he was now, he would’ve asked you to stay with him tonight, in his hammock.

You could see that Sanji was still thinking about something as you waved your hand in front of his face after everything wad cleaned. “What’s on your mind Sanji?” You asked him. He turned bright red as he shook his head. “Nothing important.” He smiled lazily.

“You should go to bed love.” You said while you guided him to his room. He grabbed your hand as he followed you, secretly hoping you would stay, but he wasn’t gonna ask.

You opened the door to the boys room and you went inside, closing the door behind Sanji. “Are you gonna be alright?” You asked him. He looked at you and sighed. “I will be once I sober up a little more.” He laughed soflty. He didn’t wait for you to leave the room as he started to undress.

Normally you would excuse yourself as fast as you possibly could, but now you just needed to make sure he was okay. “Where are your pyjama’s?” You asked while looking through his stuff. “Don’t need them baby.” Sanji mumbled as he stood there in only his underwear. He got into the hammock, and put his blanket over him.

Your eyes widen as you looked at him. Sanji called you baby and you didn’t mind on bit. You went to his hammock and tucked him in. “If there is anything, let me know okay?” You smiled as he nodded. “You can just come into the room and wake me up, but be careful not to wake Nami up.” You warned him.

He nodded and closed his eyes, sighing. “Thank you baby. For taking care of me after everything.” You blushed slightly. “Always Sanji.” You left his room and quickly stopped by the kitchen again. You grabbed some painkillers and a bottle of water. You silently went back into the boys’ room again as you saw him, already asleep. You placed the painkillers and bottle on his little makeshift nightstand and quickly gave him a kiss on his forehead. “Goodnight love.” You whispered as you now went back to your shared room.

Nami left the door slightly open and as you went inside, you could see that she was already asleep. You smiled, knowing you don’t have to explain what happened until the morning.

You got into bed and closed your eyes, drifting to sleep.

~~—~~—~~—~~

You were woken up by Sanji who was at the end of your bed, wearing nothing more than a robe and underwear. “You told me it was okay to wake you up if there was anything.” Sanji whispered. You smiled sleepily. “Yeah, what’s up?” You whispered back. He looked at the ground and sighed. “Woke up some time ago but couldn’t fall back asleep, so I was wondering if you had some space left over so I could join you?” He was holding the painkillers, bottle and some clothes. You chuckled at the sight but nodded.

“All right then.” You moved a bit towards the wall, making extra space for Sanji, who put away the stuff that he was holding and gladly joined you. He hung up his robe and joined you in your bed. He immediately sighed and looked at you. “Can we cuddle?” Sanji asked hopefully.

“I thought you would never ask.” You replied sheepishly while you laid against him. He spooned you and sighed deeply. He gave you a kiss on the back of your head and smiled to himself. “Just returning the favor.” He mumbled before faling asleep.

You on the other hand, were slightly panicking. Sanji sleeping AND cuddling you? That was something you didn’t ever see happening. Also him noticing the kiss you gave him earlier, you should’ve known. Yet you were really comfortable and you took a deep breath. You smiled to yourself as you drifted to sleep once more.

[nogenderbee]

♡˗ˏ✎*ೃ˚ 𝕀 𝕝𝕠𝕧𝕖 𝕪𝕠𝕦- ℕ𝕆 𝕎𝔸𝕀𝕋 ₊˚ˑ༄

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ @nenes-numberonefan request: HELLOOO

ima request the same thing i requested @/mizu-nights but i’m a silly goose and i wanna see everyone’s style of writing

basically can i request rui, nene and tsukasa x reader (separate) and they have a platonic relationship with our beloved y/n but then they accidentally confess their love to the reader, sort of like the verse “the time is right your perfume fills my head the stars are red and oh the nights so blue, and then i go and spoil it all by saying something stupid like i love you ❤️” from the song something stupid. thank youuu xxxxxx love youuuuuu 😍😍😍🥶😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍(very hyper rn)

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ HIIII!! Yeah absolutely! I don't tho songfics normally tho, so I just based on your description and hopefully that's gonna be good enough!

But omg, the moment I saw this, I wanted to run to mizu-nights and read it because I apparently missed this fic- but NOPE I didn't wanted to accidentally write the same thing sooo I held myself back ^^

I totally did not copy lines from event for Tsukasa part-

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ fluff

Affiliation with @virtualbookstore

You've agreed to help Tsukasa with practicing for his upcoming performance, Romeo&Julia. He got the role of Romeo while his other friend from troupe got Julia. He just wanted someone to help him get that feeling of saying it right to soemone's face and... maybe he had planned something more too?

"O Juliet! Sun of my life! I beg of you, allow me your fair hand in marriage!!"

He was now on his one knee, holding your hand like pure gentleman with his left hand. This made you both happy and regretful for agreeing to help him... it's obviously very sweet to see him like this but it's also not helping your feelings for him... and you could swear you're blushing...

"Sweet Y/N...!"

But then he said your name... and you finally looked at him just to see him clearly in state of daydreaming, not stopping reciting next lines, so you had to stop him before he gives more hints than you can handle!

"Wait, wait... wasn't the second main character's name Juliet? Why did you say my name...?"

His face immidietly gained red hue and his hand didn't stop holding your gently. His eyes still looked focused on yours as if he haven't woke up from his dreamland, but his words told you his state was something completely else than you imagined...

"Y-Yes I know..."

You could only stare at him in slight shock... you didn't knew what to say and so did he. He was barely holding himself from turning it into a play someway... but he repeated one sentence in his head, "go big or go home", if he blurted it out, might as well go along?

"O Y/N, sun of my life, I beg of you, allow me to take you on a date!"

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

@bleachtheidiot @akitosheart @bad-the-an-enjoyer @yulikesminori @alicewinterway18 @nenes-numberonefan - come get your future star!

You and Nene were hanging out on a rooftop at Kamiyama. Even if you're from Miyamasuzaka, let's say Emu teached you a trick or two~ So either way, you can enjoy your time with your dear friend!

You leaned in, wanting to see what she's playing and for once, instead of seeing shooting or rhythm game, you found her playing some... visual novel? Or was it otome game?

"Hey Nene? Are you playing... otome game?"

"Mhm, yeah."

She responded, clearly way into the game to process what she's saying. But that never was a problem for you since she still responded and was honest if anything when she was in this state.

"Look, you can even name your love interest~"

You looked at the screen with even more interest and saw 2 names... "Nene" and "Y/N". You get why her name would be here but yours? Were you... no way, right?

"Is... is Y/N the name of your... ingame love interest?"

"Yeah, real love interest too."

She finally looked up from her phone right at you with this soft and charming smile, when she saw your blush she was even confused for a second! Untill she realized... she just blurted it out, didn't she?

"Oh- uh- I mean... not like... Like..."

Now it was her blushing like crazy not knowing what to say... she was clearly between 2 thoguhts and had no idea which to choose... oh did you know it was all about if she should tell you the truth or a lie...

"Am I actually~?"

You couldn't help but encourage her a bit, hoping to hear the truth. If she actually saw YOU as the love interest, the real one! Or... if it's just a misunderstanding...

And luckily, you didn't had to wait for long because right after your question, she gave you a little nod, easy to miss if you blinked... but her blushing face and the way she looked away would tell you it either way~

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

@bleachtheidiot @akitosheart @bl4cktourmaline @nenes-numberonefan - come get your shy gamer~

Rui has texted you he forgot his coat from his house. And you as good friend, agreed to bring it to Pheonix Wonderland. He made sure you get a free ticket after all! So how could you say no to free fun at amusement park AND helping out your dear friend?

When you finally arrived at the Wonder Stage, you saw him tinkering with the robot, untill he heard someone's footsteps... his mood immidietly lighting up once he saw it's you!

"You're finally here! And I see you got my coat with you~ I can't express how glad I am for your help~"

"Don't mention it! You offered me a free ticket for that so how could I've said now?!"

He chuckled and finally came over to get his coat back, which you gave him back. And in another second, he had it on!

"But still, you're a great person for bringing it to me at THIS HOUR."

"Awh~ Don't you melt here or I'm gonna melt too!"

You couldn't brush off how sweet it was and opened your arms for quick friendly hug, since you clearly had a bit of appreciation moment going on.

"No, I mean it... you're such a sweetheart... I really couldn't avoid falling for you~"

"Huh-? What?"

After your questioning, he finally got a hang of himself pulling away with faint blush, clearly not knowing what to do. But his first reflex was to lie...

"I-I mean..."

But he seemed to stop himself... he realized lying would only make it last longer... so he decided to pull himself together, take big breath in and take the risk.

"Yes... I'm really sorry. I'm aware this is probably gonna break our friendship but... I indeed did fell for you..."

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

@bleachtheidiot @akitosheart @yulikesminori @toyaswif3y @bl4cktourmaline @r4wrclwz @superstar-ethereal - come get your crazy inventor~

[fromforeigntofamiliarity]

Daddy Issues | Bradley “Rooster” Bradshaw | Part II

Summary: Part One

Warning: None

Request: Yes! I’m so happy you guys liked it.

Taglist 🏷: @thescarletknight2014 @another-tblr-fangirl @khaylin27 @flareish @sexualparkour @secretsicanthideanymore @clockworkballerina @callsigndiamond @emilyniamh3679-blog @shanimallina87 @adaydreamaway08 @reader8679 @pinksweetssheep @kkrenae @lucky-lexie99 @sarahjoestewy-blog @happyfern2 @hotch-meeeeeuppppp @wannabewolf @justanothermagicalsara @tomhollandfan2 @thea9900-blog @xoxabs88xox @ebonyhogan24 @speedypeter @spicycrab69 @icecreamgal1 @muushwrites @katiebby04 @lonelywitchv2 @kdoll-7

Y/N stood in the back patio of The Hard Deck watching the moon's reflection ripple off the water soaking the sand, the muffled sound of music and laugher grew louder before being cut off again notifying her that someone had joined her outside.

"I have got to say lieutenant I never pegged you as someone who couldn't take criticism." Maverick's voice filled the silence causing Y/N to whip around. 

"Sir?" She asked confused.

"The training exercise." He reminded holding out a bottle of beer towards her. 

"Oh no sir." Y/N denied with a slight laugh. "Trust me I've taken criticisms all my life."

the two stood there in a comfortable silence for a while listening to the sound of the waves and crickets. Y/N couldn't help but think that this moment could have been one of many shared between them if her mother hadn't stolen that chance from them, she wondered if it would feel as special as it did right now if it was the fiftieth time instead of the first...She liked to think it would.

"If you don't mind I'd like to ask you a somewhat personal question." Maverick once again breaking the silence, continuing after receiving a nod. "You and Rooster...."

"Me and Rooster...." Y/N repeated laughed. "More like you and Rooster." She replied referring to the stand off they had during training that almost lead to both their deaths. 

"Yeah. it's just I saw you guys in there the other night and it seemed like there was something there." He explained. "Look I know it isn't my business but Rooster means a lot to me and I just want to make sure that when I put this team together they are gonna be able to work as a team."

He cares about Rooster? There was obviously some kind of history there, which made Y/N wonder how they could both care for someone yet they never crossed paths. Normally she wouldn't have answered but she convinced herself that Maverick was right, if they were going to work as a team they couldn't let things like this fester, though maybe she just wanted him to know her better, no matter how bad of a light it would paint her in she wanted to him to know who she was. 

"Rooster and I were....Involved a few years back, stationed in the same place, and I hurt him...no matter how much I want to pretend I didn't." She revealed being met with a confused look. "We were pretty serious and one day I put a request...and I left him...he didn't know until I was already gone." 

"Ouch."

"Yeah I'm not proud of it." Y/N hung her head when she remembers her actions. "I was too caught up in the past to let myself be happy with what I had in the present." 

"Trust me kid I know exactly what you mean." Maverick sympathized. "Sometime ghosts from the past catch up faster than you think."

"More like I was trying to catch up with them."

"Well now I'm intrigued..." Maverick joked looked expectedly at her wanting to know more. 

"When my mother found out she was pregnant with me...she decided not to tell my father and she left. When I was fourteen I found some of his stuff and I've been looking for him ever since." She told the story trying her hardest to hold back tears realizing this was probably the closest she would ever bring herself to telling him the truth. "I found a picture of him and my mom, I carry it everywhere. When I was with Rooster it was like nothing else mattered I would go days, weeks without thinking about him, but one day...I saw that picture again and something in me just snapped back. I remembered the reason I had done all of this."

"All this?"

"He's Naval Aviator Pilot, he was the reason I first wanted to join. When my mom found out I joined up she disowned me, hasn't spoken to me since, I had already come too far, lost too much to give up...so I left." As Y/N told the story her eyes practically begged Maverick to put the pieces together. He was a Naval Pilot, does he not remember her mother? they seemed so in love but looks can be deceiving. "Not I think about how much I've lost because I refuse to give up on a guy who could potentially want nothing to do with me."

"Hey I've known you for less than 72 hours and I know that, that guy would be an idiot to not want to know you."

"Do you have any children, sir?" 

"No," Maverick answered. Y/N didn't know if she should be relieved or disappointed, she had always wanted siblings. "Rooster is the closest thing I've ever had to a son."

"Did you ever wanted them?" She asked gripping the the railing of the patio as she waited anxiously for his answer.

Before he had the chance the sound of music and loud chatter broke through. "Well Darwin. If I didn't know any better I'd say you were brown nosing." Hangman said strutting outside with the rest of the Top Gun class following. 

"Good thing you know better." 

"Darwin and I were just bonding over being some of the few Top Gun student to shoot down a instructor." Maverick lied causing Y/N to throw her head back in laughter. 

"That's not how I hear it sir." She smiled when his eyes widened in shock. 

"And how did you hear it Darwin?" Maverick asked as the rest of the team looked on expectedly.

"You didn't get the shot until you were 3,000 ft. below the 10,000 ft. hard deck, a technical loss." Y/N stated matter of factly. 

"And where did you hear that?"

"Ice- I mean Commander Kazansky, sir" She answered. "He likes to reminisce."

"I'm sure he liked to say he and his RIO were the only ones to succeed."

"Actually sir, Commander Kazansky says you won." She corrected. "He said out in the sky there is no hard deck and kill is a kill." 

"You know the commander well?" Phoenix asked. 

"Just in passing." Y/N admits. "He'd tell a few stories give a few tips."

"Well lets hope you remember them well cause your gonna need all the help you can get for tomorrow." Maverick said raising his glass as a chores of groans sounded around the group.

*-*-*

"Time is is your greatest enemy, Phase one of the mission will be a low level ingress attacking in two plan teams. You'll fly along this narrow canyon to your target, radar guided Surface Air Missiles defend the area, these SAMs are lethal. But they were designed to protect the skies above not the canyon below. 

"That's because the enemy know no one is insane enough to try and fly below them." Rooster chimed in. 

"That's exactly what I'm gonna train you to do." Maverick replied. "One the day your altitude will be one hundred feet...maximum, you exceed the altitude radar will spot you and your dead. Your air speed will be 660 knouts...minimum. Time to target two and a half minutes, that because fifth generation fighter wait at an air base nearby and a  head to head with these in your f-18s...your dead. Which is why you need to get in and get out before they even have a chance at spotting you, this makes time your greatest adversary."   

*-*-*

"Darwin we are one minute and twenty from target." Halo informed. 

"Good have that laser re-" She started to reply only to be cut off.

"Oh shit." 

"Omaha what the fuck is going on." She asked fighting the urge to turn and look out of fear of running off course.

"I almost hit a wall." Omaha answered. "We're back on course, we need some time to catch up."

"We don't have time, increase your speed and fall back in line." Y/N replied trying to focus on making the turns. 

"We're thirty seconds ahead of schedule." Halo informed.

"And I want to stay that way. Increase your speed." 

"I can't navigate at this speed." 

"Approaching target." Y/N announced ignoring her wingman. "Dagger two behind, I'd have to drop blind." 

*-*-*

"Why are you dead?" 

"I'm not."

"But your wingman is." He corrected. "You left them behind to face bandits. why?"

"The goal was to make it to the target."

"which is pointless unless you can guarantee a direct hit, which is a hell of a lot harder without you wingman." He said. "Who you left behind to be thirty seconds ahead of schedule?" Maverick asked hands on his hips. Y/N opened her mouth to answer  only to be cut off. "Don't tell me...tell it to their families."

*-*-*

"So Kazansky, I hear you like to tell war stories." Maverick joked with his blonde friend. Letting a smile take over his face 'Iceman' started typing.

"I take it you met Darwin." He stated. "What do you think."

"She...nice" Maverick said as if looking for any good word to describe the young pilot before Iceman gave him a look. "Okay, she's confident if not a bit arrogant, she a good pilot and god does she know it but she needs to learn that it take more than just being the best."

"Remind you of anyone?" Ice replied back causing the two to share a small laugh. 

"Yeah you." Maverick answered. "I know I was the same, almost exactly."

"She reminded me a lot of you when I first met her." Ice stated. "I think you two have a lot more in common than you realize." 

Walking down the tarmac admiral Kazansky noticed a piece of paper lying face down on the ground, bending down to pick it up he was surprised to see a picture of Pete 'Maverick' Mitchell and a woman who look slightly familiar.

Looking up he sees a young woman walking around the tarmac looking franticly around until her eyes landed on him, more specify the object in his hands. Cautiously she approached the man.

"Yes?" He asked looking at her intensely.

"Excuse me sir but that belongs to me." She replied trying her best not to reach out and take it from his hands. 

"Does it?" He asked attempting to probe without outright asking.

"Yes, sir." She answered. "It's my parents." She stated as if she herself was unsure of what to call the people in the photo. 

"Are you close." He asked holding the picture out to her. "To your parents, I mean." Ice and Maverick spoke in a regular basis and never once had he mentioned having a child, which is something that would have come up. So either this girl was mistaken or Maverick himself didn't know about her, seeing as he wasn't the kind of guy to run away from responsibility.

Taking a deep breath Y/N stared down at the photo for a while before giving what Ice could see as an obviously forced smile.

"No, but this is all have." 

"What do they call you?" 

"Darwin, sir." She replied looking confused as to why he would even care. 

"Darwin, Your top of your class is I recall correctly." He noted remembering one of the admirals talking about the cocky pilot that buzzed a tower a week prior. The smirk that involuntary spread across her face did little to deter Iceman's assumption on who her father was.

"Yes sir, I am." 

"You remind me a lot of a pilot I flew with when I was a lieutenant...Maverick." 

"I believe I've heard the callsign before, I'd love to put a face to the name." 

"I'm sure you have, it's surprising there are no pictures around, he was peacock." Ice joked. "He had a thing for buzzing towers as well." 

Y/N looked like a child being scolded as she fought not to smile remembering the event that errand her a hefty scolding as well as 350 push ups on this very tarmac.

"She buzzed the tower you know." Ice informed causing Maverick to display the same smirk her had seen on Y/N when they first met. He wished he could tell Maverick the truth, wished he had told them both when he figured it out himself, but something told him that he shouldn't. "Has a habit of getting herself in trouble, almost made it hard to get her into Top Gun." 

"Guess she is a lot like me huh." Maverick agreed. Ice wondered how Maverick couldn't see it, but then again maybe if he hadn't seen the picture he wouldn't have either. "She left her wingman behind...twice." 

"She can be a bit of a lone wolf sometimes, but I know when the time comes you can depend on her." 

"I guess we'll see." Maverick replied before he looked up with huge grin on his face. "Did you know about her and Bradley?" He asked as the two started laughing at the complicated love life of their friends child. 

Ice walked Maverick to the front door after their gossiping about the two pilots and if they would work it out or not. Opening the door Maverick was a bit shocked to see Y/N walking up, while Tom expected her to have come sooner. 

"Captain Mitchell." Y/N greeted yet her gaze stated locked on the fleet commander. She had put together that there was no way that Ice didn't know and that the Maverick that everyone was talking about was Pete Mitchell, the article she read never included callsigns so this whole time listened to Iceman let her stories about her father.

"Darwin." Maverick greeted back sending a small smile to her and Tom before exiting the home.  

Opening the door wider, Ice gestured for Y/N to come inside. Walking in she waited as he closed the door and turned to look at her.

"Was it the whole time?"

He nodded. 

"Were you ever going to tell me?" 

Pulling out his phone Ice began to type out a response. 

"No."

"Why?" 

"I thought it was for the best." He replied. "Are you upset?"

"I wish that I could say I wasn't, but I am." She admitted never having the ability to lie to him about her emotions, he was one of the first person to know about her feeling for Rooster even before Rooster himself. "I understand that this is something I need to do on my own, I just wish- I don't know."

"Are you going to tell him?" 

"I don't know..."

*-*-*

"Darwin." Rooster called out to her as she walked towards the classroom. Rolling her eyes Y/N knew that he would try to corner her eventually. 

"Yes, Bradley." She asked turning around to face him. 

"Bradley." He repeated raising his brow. "Am I in trouble?"

"Not if you aren't looking for it." She replied crossing her arms over her chest. "Is there something you needed or can I go get ready for the exercise."

"I just wanna understand." 

"Understand what exactly." 

"You know what." 

"I don't have time for this." Y/N scoffed turning away wanting to focus on the mission instead of playing whatever game this was.

"You never do, do you?" He asked walking in front of her to block her path. "when ever thing don't go your way you just walk away. It must be so easy for you." 

"Oh my god Bradley, we have more important thing to worry about." She scolded as he glares down at her. "How do you ever expect to fly this mission if you keep living in the past."

"I'm living in the past?" He asked. "That's rich coming from you. You molded your whole life around a photo that was taken before you were born, of a guy who doesn't know your alive, spent your whole career being this 'lone wolf' so when anyone dares to get close you become emotionally unavailable, your incapable of considering anyone but yourself  which is probably why you abandoned you wingman in the last two exercise missions."

"Wow Rooster if this pilot thing doesn't work out you should become a shrink." Y/N replied sarcastically acting as is his words didn't effect her.

"Please it doesn't take a shrink to realize you have major daddy issues."

Y/N flinched as if his words had just slapped her in the face. "Wow, dad critique from you Rooster....That's rich." She sneered before turning on her heels and walking away.

After a short time Rooster followed behind Y/N into the classroom neither noticed Maverick witness the whole thing.

A/N: ask and you shall be tagged 🏷, if your were already asked to be tagged I’ll tag you for the rest of this series.

Part Three

[yurislotusgarden]

Can I request dazai confessing his feelings to reader and reader thinks that’s he’s not being serious but is still a bit flustered and dazai tells them he is being serious. Thank you 💕

Serious

ʚїɞ Dazai Osamu x Reader

ʚїɞ Keep in mind English is not my first language, so there may be mistakes!

ʚїɞ Why was I so nervous about my first request? ;-;

ʚїɞ Hope I didn't disappoint you with this one anon

ʚїɞ word count: 1262

ʚїɞ Tw's: None! Just pure fluff, nicknames: 'bella, my dear Belladonna, reader's gender is not specified

Dazai has been leaving hints… at least he hoped they were ones, as it seemed you didn't realize what he’s been doing for the past months. The brunette came to accept his feelings for you a long time ago, even if it took even longer to realize them and accept that he actually feels… romantic love for once.

He knows you like him, and he’s happy! But why can't you realize the feelings are mutual? It’s frustrating to no end.

“My dear Belladonna!” Was the only thing you heard before Dazai literally threw himself at you, and the only reason why you're not on the floor right now is because he has already done this so many times, that you’re used to how you should put your foot down to not go crashing to the floor. The few first times of him doing this were… quite painful for your back.

“Dazai?” A sigh came from you, already considering if the decision you made this morning to actually come to work instead of calling in sick was a good idea. You just had a feeling something was gonna happen but didn't know if it would be a good or bad thing, and you’re someone who trusts their guts most of the time. “What is it this time?”

“I have something to confess!” The brunette was visibly happy about something, but with how close you were to him with Dazai clinging onto you, you were pretty sure you saw something else flash in his eyes, nervousness perhaps? No, it’s Dazai after all, why would he be nervous?

“Oh no-”

““Oh no”?!“ An offended gasp came from the bandaged man. “What do you mean by that ‘Bella?!”

“The last time you decided to confess something it ended up in a week-long discussion on the topic. I don’t want a repeat of that” You rolled your eyes playfully. Around a month earlier Dazai commented on something specific that ended up with the whole agency having a discussion about it for a whole week. You are pretty sure your co-workers argued even on missions.

“... Alright that’s fair” Came the answer before the weight of the man on you disappeared, yet his arms still remained around you.

“Anyway, about the thing I want to say. It’s important.” The tone he used quite shocked you, it’s not often you hear Dazai being serious. 

The taller man thinks the opportunity is quite good. There’s no one in the office as it’s quite late and they went home and he wasn't sure if he could pull off a romantic place without raising suspicion on what he was about to do. You stayed behind to sort some paperwork and he? Well, he just had to stay! Can’t let his beautiful belladonna be alone, could he?

“I’m listening” You were serious as well. You thought that it was maybe work-related, or something similar with how serious he was acting. Maybe another organization is coming to Yokohama again? God, you hope they won’t be like the guild if so. They were really annoying. if not, maybe-

“I like you” Stopped your thoughts. What did you just hear?

“Wait what?”

“I like you, like like you”

It was impossible, Dazai the womanizer™ as Kunikida called him once, the guy who flirts with all women he deems he wants to flirt with he flirted less and less since he realized his feeling for you but you did not really realize that sadly, your crush for some goddamn reason, really, who let you like him that way? Said that he has feelings for you. That your feelings are mutual but it isn’t possible that he actually likes you back… right?

…You hoped the slight blush coming onto your cheeks was unnoticeable.

“Dazai-” There was a short break in your sentence, you trying to grasp your thoughts “-what are you on about? I think I told you to not joke about such stuff”

It isn’t possible he likes you. He didn't show any hints! At least you don't think so. You started to think of anything you possibly can but you couldn’t really see any actions made by him that would signal that he even has feelings for anyone. You aren’t that oblivious as to not notice your crush likes you back right?

“I’m not joking [Name]” The fact that the brunette not only was saying all this in a serious voice but the fact that he also used your name?! He absolutely never does that, the last time he used your name was maybe a few months back, you were starting to think he simply forgot your name so he went for nicknames instead.

“Dazai it isn’t funny you-”

“-I’m not joking [Name]. I’m completely serious” There he goes using your name again. You don’t get it. There’s no possibility of this not being a joke, after all, there’s no way that Dazai Osamu likes you. Really, only if you knew you were in a straight-up denial.

“How can you expect me to believe that?” Your voice came out weaker than you had wanted, but you don’t think about it for too long, not when you need answers.

“How am I supposed to not be serious when it’s you that I think about all the time? When I picture you whenever something reminds me of you, whether it’s something someone said or a place we were at together before. I don’t think you noticed ‘bella, but I barely flirt with women anymore, even the waitress downstairs. Hell, I’m still doing it only to distract myself from the very possible rejection from you”

Dazai knows that even he can’t be 100% sure that you will say yes. As much as he knows his feelings are not one-sided, he also knows you may still reject him for multiple reasons.

And you? Speechless would be the perfect description of your face right now. Everything about the bandaged man in front of you is screaming genuineness, absolutely no jokes.

You don’t know what really got you to believe that he’s saying the truth, whether it’s the look in his eyes, the tone of his voice, his words themselves, or his body language, but something did.

“You really do like me back?”

“Yeah… Yes I do”

The gentle look on his face simply broke you. He seemed so… happy, at the fact that you realized he’s serious. Dazai knew that there was a possibility of you not believing his words, he fully understands because of the way he acts on a daily basis.

“...’bella I know you know what I want to hear” Came a surprisingly quiet response from the brunette, and you indeed knew. Do you accept his confession or reject it? He seemed to really want to know, and you felt like you would break the man beyond repair if you said no. Your answer was quite obvious to you, you didn't even need to think about it before you smiled gently and chuckled at his nervousness of being rejected, he looked like a high school boy confessing his feeling for the first time in his life in your eyes.

“And we both know that my answer is a positive one”

To only say that some sort of weight was gone from Dazai’s shoulders would be an understatement of the century.

It would also be an understatement of the century to say that he wanted to be away from you, and hey, who’s gonna stop him from being clingy to you? Because it’s for sure not gonna be you.

Answer to the last question? Kunikida

Notes, comments, reblogs and anything else is greatly appreciated <3

[koiir]

All too well

In which he ends the relationship for the better

Pairing: Rin itoshi x gn!reader

Genre: angst with no comfort

Cw: crying, mild swearing, not proofread, rushed, break ups

The rain made it’s presence known by disturbing his sleep, Rin couldn’t be at peace. Now or ever. It’s been over an hour of him trying to rest, yet his thoughts kept him up. It’s been this way for weeks, every since he last saw his brother. When his dream, his hope, was crushed by the one who he thought would stay by his side.

But maybe this thing was a masterpiece ‘til you tore it all up

It’s over. His mindset stayed like that, no context needed for him to know what that meant. History would repeat itself, by one getting hurt and the other moving on. With a dream. Rin always thought that in the end, it would be you and him. But he knew he was ruining the chances of that becoming a reality. Rin had always held a spot for you in heart, which is why he kept going. Even when his brother left he still had you by his side, his one and only. The one he loved unlike anything else. Which is why he knows that the relationship is only going to hurt you, more if he hasn’t already.

Running scared, I was there I remember it all too well

It’s his fault, Rin knows that. He’s been more blunt and more distant, mumbling short responses to you, not paying you the attention you need, it’s all because he’s become broken. He became the problem. Rin has always been fragile, which is why you gave it your all the love him. Gave everything you had, in order to heal him. And it worked, until sad shattered what you had fixed. Now rin was experiencing the aftermath of it, you could try again, to fix what had been broken, but that would be a waste. A waste of your time, trying to heal someone who wouldn’t give in. Even if Rin loved you, he knew he would only break your heart as time went on. Which is why he had to end it. In order to keep you safe from his heartbreak later on.

You awake?

He sent the text knowing in fact you would be awake, reading or up on your phone or not being able to fall asleep peacefully. Rin knows that recently it’s been hard falling asleep, he would often try to help. Now he would only be adding to the problem.

Yea, reading as a matter of fact

Can’t sleep either rin? Something up?

His heart thumped, his fingers soon trembling realizing this would be the last time you two talked. The last words he would tell you before he pushed you away.

I’m breaking up with you [name]

Once he hit send, rin pushed his phone away not daring to see what you would say next. He could see the scene playing in his mind, you seeing the text, staring at it wondering what was real. You would stare at it, thoughts consuming your mind until tears started to fall.

And you call me up just to break me like a promise

Rin?

Why? Why all the sudden?

Rin, please can we talk this out? If it’s space you need I’ll give it to you. I know it’s been hard recently for you, but please one last chance for us to talk?

He saw the light from his phone, a notification from you. He knew that, which is why he didn’t grab his phone. He wanted to escape. He wanted to run away from this reality. The feeling ate rin alive, he couldn’t handle it even for a minute. He checked your messages, wishing he hadn’t.

Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck, rin couldn’t handle this. He wondered if things would have gone different if he had told you in person. He knew it would. Which is why he didn’t, he wanted to hide his feelings through the screen in front of him. He knew you were better off with someone who could thoroughly communicate with you, someone who wouldn’t chain you down. He knew you were trying, so hard for him. He knew that if he didn’t end this you would be broken by the end of it.

We’re over name

So casually cruel in the name of being honest

He didn’t have to say more, he knew you would understand. This fact hurt him, tears threatening to spill. He sat up, he couldn’t bear to stay in the confines of his room any longer. Rin looked out the window, the rain still there. Falling down his window, Mimicking the way tears fell down the face of the once lovers.

Cause I remember it all, all, all, too well

[oillydiya]

Things Between Us | Cillian Murphy x OC

Chapter 13 : Mine Alone!

Warnings: This fic contains explicit content related to sexuality and various age relationships. The content is not suitable for individuals under the age of 18. *The entire story is a work of fiction. All characters, time periods, and places in the story are purely imaginary.

"Damn!" Sansa jolted awake in the bathtub.

“Oh my! How long did I accidentally fall asleep here?" she mumbled, disoriented.

Sansa felt exceptionally drained today. It had been several nights since she had a proper rest, primarily due to the exhibition stress. Coming back from the gallery today, she was so tired that she dozed off unintentionally. Now, stepping out of the bathroom, she went straight to her phone. The screen showed five missed calls and two texts.

"What are you doing? - Cillian"

"Can you please pick up? - Cillian"

Then, another message popped up, "I’m waiting outside your apartment - Cillian."

Sansa immediately called Cillian back, and indeed, he was waiting for her downstairs. "Damn it! I shouldn’t have fallen asleep," she scolded herself, feeling guilty for not answering his calls and making him wait. Quickly throwing on some clothes, she rushed down to meet him.

Descending to the lobby, she saw Cillian waiting for her already. He appeared significantly drunk, his face flushed, eyes half-closed, and the distinct smell of beer emanating from him. Cillian's expression was troubled, to say the least.

On the elevator ride up, he said nothing to her. Sansa noticed Cillian seemed unusually anxious, as if he was in a hurry to get to the apartment. Ding! The elevator doors opened, and Cillian rushed into her apartment, heading straight to check every nook and cranny—the bathroom, the dressing room, seeming to search for something or someone.

"What are you doing?" Sansa asked, puzzled and alarmed by his behavior.

"That bastard! Where is he? Where?" He shouted, anger in his voice.

Sansa was taken aback by his tone and demeanor, "What are you talking about? I don't understand," she furrowed her brows in confusion.

"Him! The French guy you met today. You were with him, weren't you? That's why you didn't answer my calls!" He ranted, walking around frantically as if he'd lost his senses. "Where is he? Where have you hidden him!" He repeated, approaching Sansa. He grabbed her arm, shaking her. Sansa was shocked by his actions and the force of his grip caused her pain.

“Cill, stop! You're hurting me!" Tears welled up in her eyes. In that moment, as if snapping back to reality, Cillian's expression softened, and he quickly released her arm.

"I'm sorry, I'm really sorry," Cillian repeated, his voice quivering as if he were on the verge of tears. He embraced her, resting his face on her shoulder, deeply regretting his actions just moments before. Sansa was initially shocked by the turn of events and struggled to grasp what was happening. 'What's going on?' she wondered, feeling bewildered.

Once she collected herself, she guided Cillian to sit with her at the counter bar to talk.

"Calm down, Cill, you're drunk," she told him, gently touching his cheek to soothe him.

"I didn't answer your calls because I accidentally fell asleep in the bathtub. There's nothing to worry about. Why would you think I was with someone else?" Sansa explained the truth, hoping to calm him down.

"I'm sorry, are you hurt?" Cillian asked, taking her hand, carefully inspecting her arm for any harm his earlier actions might have caused.

"I thought...you were with someone else," Cillian admitted with a heavy heart. "They kept talking, and I got scared."

Sansa frowned, confused. "Who was talking?" She asked, trying to understand. 

Cillian didn't respond to the question. He slid his arm around, pulling Sansa to sit down on the chair. Both of his hands touched Sansa's face gently. He used his fingertips to touch from the forehead, down to the eyebrows, passing the nose, and trailing down to her soft, delicate lips.

"This is mine," his husky voice spoke lowly, echoing into her ears seductively. Cillian leaned in to kiss the person in front of him. . Sansa thought this kiss wasn't like all the others before. It was filled with a strong pressing and sucking. It felt as though he was sucking as if afraid her lips would disappear somewhere. Cillian put his tongue in and out, swirling around her mouth. He licked down her neck, the man deeply inhales the scent of her neck to ease his longing. Cillian knelt down, his face between her chest curves. He began to touch and massage both of Sansa's breasts. He squeezed and fondled them with a horny face, his ocean blue eyes peering deeply into hers.

"This is mine," Cillian shifted his body, pressing his lips softly, tracing his tongue around Sansa's nipple like a toddler.

He was possessive of her! Damn it! Sansa gasped. She had completely forgotten all the unpleasant feelings she had experienced previously. They were now replaced by the overwhelming desire that Cillian instigated, as he licked two beads on her chest.

Cillian began to shift his tongue's movements from her chest down to her flat, smooth stomach. He licked around her waist before descending further down towards the softly rising mound. He separated and spread her trembling legs apart. Cillian lifted two fingers and offered them for Sansa to lick. She pressed his two fingers into her mouth eagerly and hungrily. She sucked, licked, and worshipped the two fingers passionately, immersing herself in the belief that it was his dick!

"Cill!" a loud moan come up as the wet fingers from her mouth were slid into her pussy. He began to move his two wet fingers, pressing into the soft, tiny hole. Slipping in and out until her juices nearly gushed out. It was so intense that her mind blanked out."

"This is mine, mine alone." He raised his head and said. Before flicking his tongue, and licking the drop of sweetness around her love hole. He sucked and fucked her hard with his fingers and tongue. She don't know why...the more Cillian became possessive of her, Sansa only felt more and more excited! Sansa now clearly understands what it feels like to have sex after a fight. It was a mix of hunger, yearning, and every forceful impact, filled with a desire to tear someone apart, not in pain but with hot passion and love. Cillian's intoxication escalated, and his sexual dominance grew fiercer. Sansa felt like he was arousing him the entire time he penetrated her.

Cillian gazed intently at the beautiful face before him. The woman lifted her face, her eyes meeting his. Her eyebrows arched slightly, puzzled by the intensity of his stare, unable to decipher his thoughts.

"You belong to me. You're my possession, and no one else can touch what's mine," he said as he putted his dick into her pussy. If it's during normal times Sansa probably doesn't like what Cillian treats like she's an object. But when he said it during sex like this, dammit! It was a whole other level. It's like she’s slipping into another dimension! Now her brain is racing far away while her pussy shakes wildly from within and the squeezing and twitching that make Cillian cum! Her pussy clenching Cillian dick so tight that he could feel his veins beating with his heart. Thump..thump.

“Fuck! I can't hold it anymore!”

After a moment of exhaustion, the two collapsed onto the bed, embracing tightly. Cillian caressed and stroked, his arms enveloping the person on his chest. He breathed in Sansa's scent, not wanting to let her even a centimeter away from him.

"This Sunday, you're coming to New York with me," Cillian whispered to Sansa while gently stroking her cheek. "Are you talking about this upcoming Sunday?" she asked.

"Yes, I have a movie promotion there. I miss you and don’t want to be apart from you... Please come with me, Sansa," Cillian said, gazing down at the woman nestling against him, wanting her to accompany him earnestly.

"Hmm!" Sansa took a moment to think... It was quite sudden for her. "I’d love to come with you, but I need to wrap up the exhibition. It’s the last day of my show," she said sadly.

"Let’s meet back here then. I’ll be with you for a long time," Sansa gently nudged his chin to console him.

"I’m afraid someone will steal you away from me!"

[wol-fica]

-ℕ𝕠𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕟𝕘 ℙ𝕖𝕣𝕤𝕠𝕟𝕒𝕝-

summary - during a kiss scene between you and emma myers, jenna gets a little too jealous for her own good

warnings - movie kiss, yelling, pushing into chair, angry! jenna x apologetic! reader, implied sex but you won’t see that ;), not proofread

an - i’ll be honest, i accidentally posted the first half of this so if you saw that, you didn’t 👀

———

Jenna was pissed, and that was an understatement. She was infuriated with the idea of having to watch you, her girlfriend, get all kissy with Emma.

Don’t get her wrong, Jenna absolutely adores both of you and she cares very dearly about your well being. But that doesn’t stop her from having feelings of jealousy and anger when your lips were locked with her own best friends.

“And, cut! Lunch break!” Tim shouted as the crew started to disperse.

Jenna watched as you and Emma exited the room together, and she didn’t miss the way her friend’s eyes were glued to you. Jenna’s face had anger written all over it, which is why most of the cast and crew stayed away from her while they ate. All, except for you.

See, you were quite an oblivious person when it came to someone being mad. Wether they were mad at you or whatever else, you always seemed to miss that factor. So when the time came for you to go eat lunch with your girlfriend, her demeanor slipped right past you.

“Hi love, how are you?” You asked, completely unaware of Jenna’s fowl mood.

“I’m great.” She hissed, stabbing her lettuce aggressively.

You paused, mouth open, waiting to eat a part of your sandwich. Why did she sound mad? Was it something I did? Did someone tick her off? All these questions ran through your mind, causing you to stay silent as you wondered which one was the best to ask.

“Thanks for asking.” She said, getting up to throw away what was left of her lunch.

You winced when the sound of her trash getting slammed into the trash can echoed through the lunch room. All eyes were on you in an instant, and you knew you had to go get your girl.

You hurriedly stuffed your sandwich in your mouth before running after your girlfriend, chucking your trash on the way. Soon, you had caught up to her, as she was kinda slow and didn’t prefer to run.

“Jenna!” You called, out of breath from running after her.

She turned to you, silently staring you down as you took a second to breathe. Once you were finished you stood up to speak properly to her, but before you could get a word out, she dragged you into a nearby tent.

The room was pretty much empty, besides a few chairs and a couch. It was seemingly just a relaxing room for the crew but everyone had vacated to the lunch hall to eat.

“Jenna.” You repeated as she pulled you inside.

“Hush.” She growled, roughly pushing you into a chair.

She faced you with a fury that you vowed to never want to see again. Her eyes were ablaze with anger while her hands were clenching and unclenching into fists. You gulped, afraid of what she had to say.

“I am furious Y/N, if you couldn’t tell.” She said, pacing around in front of you.

“I could, can I ask why?”

She whipped around, slamming her hands on the chairs arm rests. Her face got incredibly close to yours while her knees pressed up against your own.

“I am jealous.”

You scoffed, causing her to raise an eyebrow as if to test her.

“Jealous about what? Me kissing Emma?” You shook your head, now not afraid of how Jenna was acting, “It was nothing personal and you know that.”

“I really don’t, especially since she could keep her goddamn eyes off of you. She was practically fucking you in her mind!” She shouted, now pacing around again.

“So what if she was? I don’t have any feelings for her!” You defended, standing up as well.

“How am I supposed to know that?!”

You stopped, mouth agape at your girlfriend’s statement. She was staring dead at you know, tears beginning to fill her eyes.

“How am I supposed to know if you won’t leave me? How am I supposed to know if i’m good enough?” Jenna said, now practically crying.

“Oh honey.” You said sadly, rushing forward to comfort her.

She let out a sob as you enveloped her in your arms, leaning into your warm embrace. She cried on your shoulder, probably ruining her makeup in the process but neither of you cared at that point.

“I know you have insecurities, but I promise you I am not going anywhere.” You whispered, planting a kiss to her hair.

“You promise?” She hiccuped, shaking slightly from crying.

“Pinkie promise.” You replied, linking your fingers.

She giggled but stayed close to you, relishing your warmth. Her eyes met yours, and she began to lean in. Your lips met, salty from crying but not repulsive. The way her hands wound into your hair and tugged lightly, made you want to take her right here in this tent. A soft moan exited your mouth as she gently scratched your scalp with her nails.

“Is my baby all needy now?” Jenna cooed, pulling you to her shoulder as she massaged your head.

All you could do was groan in defeat, melting into her embrace. Jenna always had a way with you, and she always knew what buttons to push and pressure points to pinch when it came to making you submit to her.

“I think you deserve a punishment for being so naughty.” She whispered before pushing you back into the chair and starting to undo your tie.

What a long lunch it will be for you.

————————

[hsgucci94]

I don’t hate you

Summary: The one where Harry prevents Y/N from drinking an intoxicated beverage while they secretly have feelings for each other.

Content warning: umm just a bit of cursing I’d say?

Word count: 4.2k

A/N: Ash’s non-binary btw! Also, the title is temporary, I’m so bad at finding good ones so I’ll have to leave it like that until something better comes up lol x

masterlist

“Don’t drink that,” Harry hissed, clenching his jaw while his eyes were fixed on someone else that was not Y/N.

“What?,” she retorted, confused.

“Do not drink that,” he repeated. But she just couldn’t understand why, so she followed his eyes until they met with the bartender on the other side of the bar, the same one that had just invited her to a gin-tonic, the beverage she had been drinking since they arrived at the club with their friends.

“Are you serious right now?,” she rolled her eyes and shook her head. Of course he wouldn’t let her drink it, the guy that had been flirting with her all night made it just for her.

“I am serious,” he hastily replied, turning to her, “I saw him slip something in it.”

She let out a laugh, “Yeah, sure. As if I didn’t know you already, Styles.”

She took the glass in her hand and lifted it to her lips, ready to give it a big sip after thirty minutes of dancing and screaming intensely to the music.

Harry quickly grabbed her wrist, stopping her. “Fuck. Can you listen to me for once?,” he clinched his jaw again, only to unclinch it right away, “I fucking saw him put something in your drink, Y/N.”

She momentarily looked at him, trying to read his facial expression and body language, awaiting for his features to relax and a loud laugh to escape his lips, meaning he was just messing with her. Again.

But she didn’t get any of that. His face just got even more serious, his eyebrows and forehead completely frown as he stuck his lips together.

“Why would he do that?,” she mumbled, first looking at her drink and then up to the bartender, who was too busy chatting with some other girl to realise what was going on a few feet away.

“Because you're beautiful and young and it's so easy to take advantage of you.”

Her eyes widened a bit at his response, taken aback by the choice of words. He had let them out right away, without meditating them first, which was why they made her feel some kind of way. She wasn’t sure what exactly, but definitely something.

Her girl friends had told her multiple times Harry was into her; but her guy friends assured her he wasn’t. So as if that was not confusing enough already, he had just make it even more. Not because he called her beautiful or showed that he actually cared about her, but because it was the first time she felt he wasn’t trying to take the piss out of her and was acting like a decent human being towards her. Their usual interactions consisted on him teasing her about whatever he felt like in that moment and her rolling her eyes at him. Every. Damn. Time. As if annoying her was a sport and he wanted to win gold.

He saw her reaction to his words and nervously passed a hand through his hair, slightly tucking at it. “Just, please, don’t drink that.”

“Okay,” Y/N quietly replied. She put the glass back down on the bar and looked up at him again. His features relaxed, and she swore his lips lifted enough to simulate a smile.

When they both went to where their friends were, Y/N’s hands were empty. No drink in sight, something that made everyone frown. “They ran out of gin,” she lied, shrugging. So to calm her thirst, she grabbed one of her friend’s beverage and took a big sip of it.

Ever since the barman incident, Harry was standing opposite to her, his eyes constantly on Y/N until she would make eye contact with him, then they moved somewhere else, as if there was no way he would have ever looked at her.

Y/N felt weird. What if Harry hadn’t been around and she had drunk the beverage with something in it? That would have made her night a nightmare. She just couldn’t stop thinking about it, and Harry noticed that, specially because her party mood had decreased ever since. She was no longer dancing around and laughing with her friends. Now she was quiet, buzzing in her head thinking about what the terrible consequences could haven been Harry hadn’t been there.

“Here, take mine,” he offered her his drink, walking to her as a soon as he saw her approachable, “Haven’t touched it yet.”

She shook her head, “I’m fine, thanks. And thank you for earlier… Didn’t know you had it in you to be nice to me,” she chuckled a bit, making Harry bit the inside of his cheek to avoid a smile to spread all over his face.

Did it really pain him that much to smile? He was always so serious, looking intimidating and careless, but now Y/N had found out that the Harry she knew was nothing to how he really was. It was nice to know that, but also a bit strange considering they had known each other for six months and he hadn’t let that side of him show. At least know to her.

“Just make sure you pay more attention to your drink when it’s being served.”

Ah, right. If anything, he could only be nice to her once a day. Twice was just too much.

She rolled her eyes, smiling, “Sure, Styles. Good night.”

He frowned, “You leaving?”

She nodded, checking if she had her purse and important stuff on her: phone, wallet and house keys. She waved her friends goodbye before turning to him to answer, “Yeah. I no longer wanna be here, to be honest.”

“Need me to take you to your place?”

“Nope, I’ll call a taxi.”

“My ride’s free.”

She giggled, “You’ve already done enough for me tonight.”

“I’m driving you home.”

“Stubborn, aren’t you?,” Y/N sighed.

“Who’s the one that’d rather pay for a ride home than get it for free?”

And there they were again, arguing about nonsenses.

“Fine, whatever. Where did you park?”

Harry said goodbye to their group of friends and they both walked out of the club. When they both got inside his car, he made sure to turn on the radio, some new rock song instantly playing through the speakers. Y/N’s back rested against the passenger seat, her head falling back on the headrest as she closed her eyes and gulped.

“Don’t think too much about it,” Harry spoke next to her, knowing exactly where her mind was heading to in that moment.

She let out a defeated sigh, “But what if-?”

“I see you still don’t listen to me, hm?,” he quickly replied, interrupting her. A light chuckled came out of his thin lips. “But it didn’t happen, Y/N.”

He turned around to look at her, her eyes now open and staring in his direction.

After so much time spent observing and admiring her, Harry could tell she was having a hard time wrapping her head around everything that could have gone wrong that night. Like he had said, that was the thing: it didn’t. He had been there and was able to prevent it. She had nothing to worry about anymore, and Harry didn’t know how to tell her so. More like, he didn’t dare to. He didn’t want to look like a fool, because that was how he felt around Y/N, like a total fool.

Her silly jokes and stupid remarks would always make him laugh, although he would make sure to go unnoticed by her. He would find himself smiling at his phone whenever she sent some random memes to the group chat, and biting the inside of his cheek every time she huffed and puffed after he spent thirty minutes straight messing with her, wether it was because of her shitty taste of music or the way she flinched every two seconds while watching a horror movie.

Little did she know that he always listened to the songs she played whenever she was not around, and that he liked suggesting those movies that he knew she hated only so that she would move closer to him on the couch and hug him for comfort, which never happened. She would crunch on someone else’s arm while squeezing her eyes shut to avoid seeing what twisted scene was going to come next.

Harry gently squeezed her knee, a reassuring gesture she wasn’t aware she needed until then. She nodded to his words and replied with a quiet “thanks”, which she meant. He was surprisingly good at comforting her, something she would have never thought possible. Again, she was getting to know a never-seen-before Harry that night, and she was definitely enjoying him.

He turned around and started the engine, the music still echoing through the car to avoid the both of them the need to make awkward conversation. Harry’s fingers were tapping over the steering wheel to the rhythm, which made Y/N notice his gold and silver rings.

She liked how they looked on him, although she had never told him so to prevent him from teasing her about that, too. But that night, specially in that moment, everything felt different between the two of them, almost as if they had reached a new point in their friendship, or whatever the hell had been their connection so far. So she felt comfortable enough to mouth her opinion.

“I like your rings.”

Harry looked down at them before looking up at her, the corners of his mouth slightly lifting.

Another smile attempt. Wow, that definitely had to mean something. Maybe she should buy a few lotto tickets; perhaps she could win it this time.

When that car stopped and she spotted the door to her flat through the window, she unbuckled and threw her purse over her shoulder before turning to him. “Thanks for dropping me off, Harry.”

His eyes slightly widened, but not enough for her to notice. That was the first time ever she had referred to him by his first name and not by his last, which was how everyone in their group of friends called him. Styles was just the uplifting, chill way their friends called him, while Harry was somehow used by those who either barely knew him, or knew too much about him.

He low-key wanted Y/N to be in the latest group.

Harry shrugged as a response, “No problem.” Y/N then let out a laugh, and he frowned, “What?”

“How can you be so sweet and so down on me at the same time?”

“I’m not,” he retorted.

“You’re not what exactly?,” she lifted an eyebrow, a smile playing on her lips.

“I’m not down on you.”

She giggled, “The hell you aren’t, Styles.” Not her caller him Styles again. Now that he had heard how his name sounded when it came out of her pretty pink lips, he wanted her to call him just Harry forever. “Anyway, thanks again for tonight.”

He nodded, and stayed there in his seat as he watched her walk out of his car and get into her flat, one she shared with their friend Ash. They were still back at the party with the rest of group, meaning that Y/N was home alone until then. Harry quickly realised that, so he took out his phone from his jean’s front pocket and texted her, seeing her grab her phone and read his messages before she could open the door to her place. When she finished going over them, she turned around with a small smile and nodded in his direction, before mouthing a “please” regarding his offer.

***

That was the very first time Harry was stepping a foot on Y/N's place, since most of the time they would just hang out outdoor or at someone else's flat with the rest of their friends. However, it felt really nice for Harry to be able to come inside and see a part of her that he hadn’t been able to know yet. The way the whole place was decorated really resonated with her and Ash's personalities, and also allowed him to know more about Y/N’s hobbies and various interests.

She noticed him curiously staring at every corner of her flat, and she couldn’t help but giggle, "Like what you see?"

"Yeah," he quietly replied. Until then, he hadn’t realised how silly he might be looking. He just couldn’t stop taking in everything that was around him, wondering what was the reason behind it all. Was it there the moment they rented the flat or did either Y/N or Ash decide to put that piece of art up there? He wanted to ask her a lot of questions, but knew that right there and then wasn’t the best time to do so.

“Want some water or food?,” she asked him, to what he shook his head. “Alright.”

He then let his body fall down on her light brown leather sofa, taking his shoes off just with the help of his own feet, before lifting them up and resting them on one of the armrests. His head instantly fell onto the other one. That sight made Y/N smile, causing him to frown a bit, “What?”

“Nothing,” she giggled, “It doesn’t take much for you to make yourself at home, does it?”

He shrugged, and then again the corner of his lips lifted. For a moment she really thought she was going to see a full smile on him, but she got fooled once again. Apparently Harry Styles wasn’t very into smiling. Such a pity, because she thought he had a very beautiful and contagious one.

He hid the palms of his hands behind his head and crossed his ankles. She then realised he had taken over all of her couch and that there was no free spot for her to sit on. Not that it bothered her, she was about to go to bed anyway.

She wasn’t tired, though, so she quickly realised that if she went to her bedroom and laid on her bed in the dark, the only thing she would do was think about that night and the drink incident. She would probably think way too much about it to not want to go out partying ever again. Unfortunately, that was how her mind liked to work.

“Do you feel like chatting a bit?,” she said, looking at him, his eyes instantly gluing to hers. Harry silently observed her for a good minute, making her a bit uneasy. “Never mind, you’re probably tired,” she added, ready to turn around and walk to her bedroom. She would grab a book or even watch something on her computer until she felt asleep.

“I’m not. I do wanna do some talking.”

She nodded, her features relaxing. She was ready to sit down on the floor in front of him, until she saw him lifting his legs up for her to take the spot under them. Then he carefully put them down on her lap, and she forced herself to casually rest her arms on top of them, which he didn’t seem to mind or he would have already said something.

“What is it that you wanna talk about?”

“I dunno,” she replied, momentarily staring at the wall in front of her, where the TV was hung, “Favourite colour?”

He chuckled, “Really? This type of shitty questions?”

“Make better ones then,” she rolled her eyes, “I know they’re super basic, but to be honest I feel like I don’t even know your answers to them. We’ve been friends for months and I barely know these things about you, Styles.”

Harry clicked his tongue, agreeing with her. He then lifted his back off the sofa and sat straight next to her, their faces at the same height and their knees slightly brushing one against the other.

“Maroon,” he replied nonchalantly.

“Favourite film?”

“Hey,” he softly groaned, frowning a bit, “It’s only fair if you answer them, too!”

She bit her lip, trying to keep herself from giggling, “Fine… It’s green. Light green.”

“Like olive green?”

“Um, just any type of light green, I guess. Haven’t really thought much about it.”

“So your favourite colour is actually green,” he stated.

“No, light green,” she answered, emphasising the adjective.

“Light green it’s like half of the range of greens.”

“Excuse me for not being as specific as you,” she wanted to roll her eyes at him again, but abstained from doing so.

“Saying my favourite colour is maroon is not being specific. It just shows that I’m aware of what I like. So, what’s your favourite light green?”

She stood silence for a moment, looking directly at him as she thought of an answer. They were a lot of light greens she liked: mint, chartreuse, pear… The green of his eyes was very pretty, too, so because it was her last thought that was what she answered a minute later. Her words made him twist in his seat, suddenly feeling a bit uneasy.

“Wait. Does it make you uncomfortable when people compliment your eye-colour?,” she asked him right away.

Just when those people are you, he wanted to replied.

“No,” he said, but it actually sounded more like a question than an affirmative response.

“Then why did you flinch like that?,” a confused grimace on her face.

“I didn’t.”

“Do I make you uncomfortable? Is that why you also pick on me?”

“No,” he was quick to reply, “I’m not uncomfortable around you.”

“Well, the space you just left between us clearly doesn’t agree with that,” she giggled.

Harry stared at her for a moment, a stern facial expression on him. He was trying to read her face, which was getting him nowhere. She was still an enigma to him. He then pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed, finally giving up, “I like you.”

She rapidly blinked once, twice and even a third time, “Say that again?”

“You heard me.”

“I don’t think I did.”

“You did. I like you, Y/N.”

“No, you don’t. You’re just trynna mess with me.”

“I am most certainly not,” Harry stated.

The silence between them grew until it became way too awkward, and Harry didn’t feel like staying there anymore. Crushing at Y/N’s that night was just a mistake. Or maybe the error was to confess how he actually felt about her.

He sighed, passing a hand over his face, “I think we can just forget about this.”

He stood up from his seat on the couch and grabbed both of his shoes in one hand, walking towards the door. He then left them down on the floor and put them on, passing a hand through his hair as a wave of emotions took over him. Regret was the feeling he was experiencing the most. Why did he have to say that in the first place?

He grabbed the doorknob and exited her apartment, leaving a shocked Y/N behind. He walked to his car in a hurry, but once he was inside he couldn’t move. He sat on the driver’s seat with his elbows on the wheel, his head between his hands as he couldn’t stop repeating himself how dumb he actually was. Guess he had to tell her sooner or later, but right now he wished he had chosen any other moment.

“Fuuuck!,” he cursed under his breath, a long sigh escaping his lips afterwards. Everything was going good between them, smooth even. They were casually holding a conversation like friends would do; he was ready to answer all her silly questions, one after the other, as he learned a bit more about her. But then he had to mess it all up. Hadn’t she insinuated Harry’s constant teasing was because he disliked her, he wouldn’t have had the urge to tell her the real reason behind, but now there was just no turning back.

Meanwhile, Y/N was walking from one corner of her living room to the other, her lower lip tightly pressed between her teeth, while her heart was beating hard against her chest. “What was that?,” her mind repeatedly asked her, a question she had no answer for. She then knew she had to act quickly if she wanted to find out.

As soon as she opened the door and saw his car still parked in its previous spot, Y/N rushed outside. Harry was sat behind the wheel, his hands holding his phone, while his eyes were fixed on her messages, thinking wether to reply or not.

She then tapped on the passenger seat’s window with her fingers, making enough noise to catch his attention and make him turn to her side, his eyes widening a bit when he saw her there.

Y/N then climbed into his car, taking the seat next to him.

“Hi,” she nervously spoke. He expectantly looked at her, without saying a word. He should, though, or maybe he shouldn’t, considering the mess he had created as soon as those words had left his mouth earlier. “Can you… elaborate a bit more on that?”

“I think I’ve been clear enough, Y/N,” he let out another sigh.

“Trust me, you haven’t, or else I wouldn’t be here, Harry.”

There it was again, his name coming out on her pretty lips and making him feel a tingle on his stomach. Gosh, he wanted her to say it over and over again, as he kissed her over and over again.

Harry tilted his head back, closing his eyes for a moment as he brought himself back to reality, putting aside the sudden urge to kiss her.

“I do not hate you, for the record. I could never. I just kind of enjoy messing with you…,” he mumbled, “You make this cute little grumpy face whenever you hear something you don’t like, and like to roll your eyes at me every time I piss you off, which I may or may not do on purpose.” He now turned to look at her for the first time since he had started speaking. Her soft countenance and her kind eyes on him made Harry relax enough to keep going, “No…, I’m not messing with you when I say that I like you. In fact, I’ve kind of been messing with you because I like you. You pay more attention to me when I do, at least.”

“I… I didn’t know you felt this way about me,” she whispered.

He chuckled a bit, “I mean, that was the whole point.”

But while he had been hiding his feelings for her all this time, she had been doing exactly the same. She just had been forced to eventually wrap her head around the idea that she wasn’t his type at all, or else she couldn’t have explained why he acted so dry and uninterested around her most of the time.

Y/N played with her hands, which were resting on her lap, as Harry quietly observed her. He didn’t know what else to say, so he just remained in silence. She then moved one of her hands and placed it on top of his, carefully entwining their fingers together. He looked down at such gesture, his lips slightly parting in surprise while he moved his head to look at her.

“It’s been a strange night,” she murmured, and he nodded. She closed the distance between the two of them, resting her forehead against his shoulder. Harry stayed still a few seconds, until he felt courageous enough to stroke her hair with his free hand. It felt so soft against his skin.

His touch felt like magic, and she soon started wanting more. She pushed herself closer to him, passing over the centre consoles and sitting on his lap, both of her legs resting on both sides of his hips. She entwined her hands in the back on his neck, while his were now on her waist, pulling her to him. Harry’s eyes remained fully open, following her every move and trying to learn where all this was heading to.

He wanted her, and he could only hope she wanted him just as much.

“Harry,” she softly said his name, even when he was right in front of her, as if she needed to do so in order to realise that whatever was happening between the two of them that night was actually real.

Say that again, say that again, Harry thought to himself.

He slowly moved one of his hands up to her face and caressed her cheek, tracing her lips with his thumb right after. She closed her eyes, a quiet sigh escaping her lips.

“Fuck, I wanna kiss you so bad,” he mumbled. His hand fell down to her chin, and while he carefully grabbed it, he pressed his lips to hers, finally finding each other.

full masterlist

[jesssssssssica]

big fish gr63

they say that when you meet the love of your life, time stops. 

that’s true.

i remember the day i met your mother as if it happened only moments ago. i was standing atop the podium (having finished third), smiling as if i were on top of the world when i looked down and saw her. i remember her sporting the most beautiful blue dress that hung to her body as though it were made for her and her only, though it made me anxious that she didn’t like the silver of mercedes and instead that she favourited another team though one thing i did know, was that i was in love.

then as they all say when you meet the love of your life, time stopped. no longer was i hearing the roar of the crowd or the sound of the dutch national anthem, instead all i saw was her and all i could hear was the sound of my own heartbeat hitting my chest a hundred miles a minute. it was as though i had lost all control in my body and mind, my feet moving to leave and head towards the crowds of supporters, all of them still paused. so close and yet so far at the same time.

though they say time stops what they don’t tell you, is that once it does start back up again, it moves twice as fast to catch up, leaving me standing there, alone and hopelessly in love with a person i may never see again.

i tried though, i tried to find her, running as fast as i could to car park trying to catch a glimpse of the light blue of her dress but alas i could not find her, returning to the mercedes garage. 

i guess i didn’t have the energy to hide the glum look on my face as toto soon sits down next to me, hand resting on my shoulder analysing my features and expression before say,

“what’s the matter with you, kid?” 

“i just saw the woman i’m going to marry and i was so close to saying hello... when everything sped up.”

“tough luck but oh well life moves on and you’ll find someone else to wed.” 

i immediately start to shake my head, adamant that she’s the only one for me.

“no but that’s the thing, i don’t think i’ll ever move on and forget her so i’d rather spend the rest of my life looking for her or just die trying no in between.”

“jesus. well let me guess blue dress with y/h/c and y/e/c?”

my expression immediately shifted from melancholy to a look of joy and excitement as the description toto gives me matches up with her.

i nod frantically and repeat the word ‘yes’ over and over again as if it were a prayer.

“i know her, she’s the daughter of one of susie’s friends.”

my mouth splutters out hundreds of questions and get toto just rises from the floor and shrugs.

“don’t waste your time george, focus on the championship rather than some girl you may never see again and besides, she’s out of your league.”

as he walks away, i quickly jump up pacing myself so i can could keep up with his head start.

“what do you mea-”

“what i mean is that you don’t have a plan, your just living life as it comes towards you, i mean look at you, trying to chase some girl you saw for less than a minute? it’s crazy”

i stop and that cause toto to stop after turning around to see what had caused me to stop.

“you say i don’t have a plan but i do! i really do! i’m going to find that girl and marry her and then grow old with her in a house that looks like it’s come alive from a fairy-tale and there is no other path for me!”

toto smiles at my dedication though i don’t spare him a glance, continuing with my life plan.

“i may not know much right now but what i do know is that she is my soulmate and if you just helped me, even the tiniest bit then i would be forever in debt with you though if you don’t help me, then you would have stopped the opportunity of a love story and that’s not fair.”

“i’m not going to give out information without getting something in return george.”

that has me thinking.

“how about we make a deal, every time i get on the podium, then i get a little bit of information about her, that’s it nothing more, nothing less.”

toto takes a breath before nodding causing me to let out a sigh of relief.

we then shake hands and i finally feel as though everything is coming into place.

and from that day on, i worked day and night, finding ways to drive as fast i could, working harder than i ever had in my life, spending hours on the simulator basically becoming a different person and by the time the 2024 season started, i was unrecognisable.

of course, my season wasn’t a clean sheet, having faced some technical and engine difficulties causing me to retire early on. on those days, i would beat myself up the most, having lost the opportunity to learn more about my love, though on those weekends when i would get on the podium, i would wear the widest grin.

she was my motivation, my rock, the only thing that kept me going when the times got rough and because of her, i got six podiums that season and a win, all for her. 

over the season i found out meaningless pieces of information and yet i cherished the information so very dearly. over the season, i learnt a lot but never her name or where on earth i could find her, what i did learn was;

that she loved music

was going to university

favourite animal was an otter

liked watching tv

favourite colour was y/f/c

and that her favourite flower was the daffodil, a flower that would forever be my favourite as well. 

it felt as though ever since the day that time stopped, time was taunting me by going ever so slowly, making me feel as though minutes were hours and days were weeks but if this was gods challenge to see if i was the right one for their angel then i would go to hell and back for her, because i would do anything for her.

then it happened. 

i learnt her name and where i could find her.

toto walks into my room, not bothering to knock, which after many frequent occurrences, i had gotten used to and says, 

“her name is y/n y/l/n and she goes to auburn, although the terms coming to a close soon, so if you want to speak to her, you better go quickly.”

at the time toto came into my room, i was laying down on my bed, scrolling through my instagram, occasionally liking a post and putting a comment, bored out of my mind though by the time toto had finished his sentence, i had sat up, making direct eye contact with the man, acting as if he had cured me of my illness, though i’m sure him giving me the information that would lead me to love of my life is pretty much on par. 

i left the very next day, as soon as the sunday race had ended and the summer break started, saying my goodbyes to everyone, before taking a moment to realise how this was it. this was the start of the beginning. 

i stood outside her door for what felt like hours (when it was really minutes) psyching myself with words of motivation, grasping a bouquet of daffodils in my hand. 

‘she’s on the other side of this door’ i remember myself thinking, taking large breathes of air, trying desperately to ground myself before suddenly knocking my fist against the door.

it creaks open to reveal her. 

her in all her beauty, dressed in white like the angel that she is. if i were a stranger, i would’ve believed that i had died and gone to the gates of heaven, hell i sometimes find myself wondering that to this day. 

her eyes show a sign of confusion, probably from the fact that the man from that one race was turning up at her door, which causes me to chuckle nervously, which then in turn causes her to also laugh, a sound that i have loved ever since that moment, which causes me to speak to my heart’s content.

“yo- you don’t know me, but my name is george russell and i am madly in love with you. i know that may sound crazy and scary, but i have pushed so hard to win for you and to get the chance to talk to you, i’ve been called all the names possible and have heard every insult a person can make but i’m here now and that is all that matters because i know that you’re the only woman for me and that you’re the woman that i’m meant to marry and grow old with. i’ve known that for a while, ever since the day of the race, the one that you attended. i’ve known ever since the moment we made eye contact, me from atop the podium and you in the crowd of people. surely that’s a sign in itself! either way, if i didn’t know before, i definitely known now.”

silence. 

i look at her face and all i can see is sorrow as she utters out the words, 

“i’m sorry.” 

my eyebrows furrow, before i shrug it off and say,

“you don’t need to apologise to me, in fact i feel like the happiest man you'll ever see!”

y/n starts to shake her head, raising her hand onto the door frame, revealing a diamond ring, an engagement ring.

“no i’m sorry”, she starts, face showing nothing but remorse “i... i’m engaged to be wed.” 

time stops again, though this time all i can see is my hands surrounded by blurriness and all i can hear is my heavy breathing, chest moving up and down quicker and quicker as seconds passed. 

it takes me a few seconds to pull myself back into reality, though i continue to avoid eye contact with her, embarrassed beyond compare.

“oh” i utter, cheeks flushed.

“you’re wrong though,” i look up as she says those words, “i do know you, at least by reputation. you’re the george russell from king’s lynn. i’m actually engaged to boy from there, tom danes. i think he was in the year above?”

i try and recall the name tom danes, thinking back to my younger years.

‘oh yes, tom danes.’

tom danes was an averagely normal man, someone that i competed against in my early karting days (someone that i would always beat no matter what). when i think about tom danes, i will always remember how he would always throw a tantrum, whenever anyone apart form him would win, obviously embarrassed at his lack of skill. i guess tom danes was the real winner in the end.

“well, i’m sorry to have bothered but congratulations.” 

i turn around and start walking, unsure where i’m meant to go now, though i can hear the giggles of her roommates, well at least i did until they were shushed up.

i learnt that day that fate has a cruel way of circling around you. after dangling this beautiful woman in front of me and making me work so hard to get to her, i learnt the hard truth that she was now engaged to one of the world’s biggest jerks. 

that wasn’t the only thing i learnt that day, i also learnt that there’s a time when a man needs to fight, and a time when he needs to accept that his destiny is lost, that the ship has sailed, and that only a fool would continue.

the truth is though, i’ve always been a fool.

this is why i turned around and screamed with all my strength,

“y/n y/l/n! i love you! and i am going to marry you!”

because it was true,

i do have to admit that the ways i tried to woo her were a bit out of character for me, what with me sabotaging her teachers powerpoint with a slide confessing my love for her but if her face was anything like i imagined it to be, both horrified yet excited at the same time, then it would be all worth it. 

the next thing i did, took me loads of effort, having to get a plane to fly over her campus, painting a love heart in the air with both of our initials in the middle, making her know that the heart wasn’t just for anyone. 

the final thing i did was something anyone would like, a sea of their favourite flowers, which to her was daffodils. i looked up the symbolism of daffodils and found out they represented new beginnings, which i think is fitting, seeing as she was my new beginning. 

i remember looking at her face when she opened the window, shocked beyond compare and yet so happy, wearing a smile that was as bright as the sun, my sun. 

i never told her that i’d been there for six hours on the off chance she was an early riser, which she wasn’t. 

“daffodils?” she says, her voice raspy. 

“they’re your favourite flower” is my response, being the only words i can put together in that moment. 

“b-but how’d you find so many?”

“i rang every florist nearby, told them that this way the only way i could get my wife to marry me and then here we are.”

i didn’t know it at the time but a tear had fallen from her eye once i had said those words, obviously shocking her to the core that someone would do such a thing for her. 

“you don’t even know me!”

“that’s true, but i have a whole lifetime to learn about you.”

“y/n!” a voice rings out, which causes y/n to snap back into reality and out of the world that consisted of just us. 

“that’s tom, please promise me that you won’t hurt him.” her voice has a tone of urgency obviously desperate to keep things civil no matter what happens. 

i bow my head before saying, “well of course, if that’s what you want, i promise.”

i turn my head slowly to face tom for the first time in decades and see the pissed off looks he bears on his face, storming towards my garden of daffodils.

“russell!” he says, panting in anger.

“tom.” i say back with a calm tone.

“what the hell do you think you’re doing? she’s my girl! mine!”

how very rude of him to objectify an angel when really if anything he was hers, much below her level of beauty and power.

“i didn’t know she belonged to anybody.”

before anything else can happen, tom punches me right in the face though i make no effort to fight back, as i had promised, which in turn causes tom to punch me again.

“stop it!” y/n screams, trying desperately to stop tom, though he doesn’t listen.

“what’s the matter russell? too scared to fight back?”

i just shake my head. 

“i promised i wouldn’t.”

tom just smiles at the opportunity, kicking me in the ass ten times over and though i was the one that got the beating that day, it was tom dane that was the loser in the end. 

“tom!” 

tom stops and faces y/n, watching as she yanks the ring off of her finger and throwing it at him, causing a roar of ‘oooo’s’ and ‘aaahs’ from the crowd. 

“i will never marry you.”  

“what you love this guy or something?”

“why yes. he’s practically a stranger and i prefer him to you,”

tom storms off, though not before giving me another punch to the face for good measure. 

y/n kneels down next to my head and takes a look at my badly bruised face, sighing as she says,

“what do i have to do for you to stop?”

“go out with me.” 

“okay.”

as it turned out, y/n was able to keep her date at the chapel, only with a change in the groom and it all started when time stopped. 

[velvethana]

ִֶָ𓂃 ࣪˖ 🐚 Pearl. ྀིྀིྀིྀིྀི ་ ༘࿐

-‘๑’- wc 6k ✦ fluff ➔ composed for choi beomgyu.

"Hello? Did you hear anything I just said?"

You opened your eyes, the sun blaring in your face. Turning slightly, you recognize the familiar voice and match it to the face in front of you. Chaewon sat, snapping her fingers in your face.

“Sorry," you said. "What were you saying?"

You were sat between Chaewon and Yunjin on the beach, spread out lazily lounging around on beach towels.

The guys were out messing around in the water.

The sun blaring in your eyes wasn’t worth the hassle of trying to catch a glimpse.

Despite how early it had been in the hang out, you already felt yourself beginning to feel sun-sick. The hangover from the night before certainly didn’t help either.

It was eighty-seven degrees already, and it was just the after noon so you were sure that it would get even hotter as the hangout progressed.

When the summer vacation had started with your friends, you were already counting the days until it ended.

It wasn’t that you weren’t a fan of it, you definitely weren’t against the parties and the guys but you had your studies back at home that you wanted to get back to.

Now that the summer was ending, though, you wished that time would come to a slow.

“I said, what are you going to wear to Heeseung’s party?" Chaewon repeated.

She'd lined your towels up close, so that was like the two of you were on one big towel. Despite you arguing that she would block your sun, she simply winked at you.

She rolled onto her stomach to be face-to-face with you, placing your chin in her hands.

"I don't know," you said, shielding your eyes from the sun once again.

She had tiny sweat beads on her nose and she hummed for a moment as if in deep thought.

She said, "I'm going to wear that new sundress I bought with Kura at the outlet from the boardwalk."

You closed your eyes again, swallowing the dry lump in your throat. Since you were wearing sunglasses, she couldn't tell if your eyes were open or not anyway.

“Which one?"

"You know, the cute one with the pink ribbon that ties around the neck. I showed it to you, like, two days ago." Chaewon let out an impatient little sigh as you gave her a sheepish smile.

"Oh, yeah," you said but you could tell that she knew you still didn’t remember.

“You’re still thinking about him, aren’t you?” A familiar mischievous smirk grew on her face and you opened your eyes just to roll them.

“Is Kura coming to the party?” You asked, attempting to change the subject.

“Nope,” she said popping the ‘p’ sound. “Says she’s too busy for it.”

“Well, I don’t blame her. Last time she came she had to hold back Yuri’s hair… not a fun time.”

You hummed in response, recalling the night. Heeseung’s parties were mainly just an accumulation of all the random early 20 somethings visiting for the summer looking for free drinks, it wasn’t unusual for someone to have one too many.

“You know, Beomgyu is going to be there…” her voice trailed off into a whistle and you sent a glare her way, sitting up.

“I’m not thinking about him. Plus, Jake is the one who invited me. Wouldn’t it be rude if I hung out with another guy?”

Chaewon’s eyes trailed behind you, widening a bit before she shook her head and smiled at you again. “I’m sure Jake wouldn’t mind, he’s a dog anyways he wouldn’t care.”

“A dog? Nice, Chae.” You snickered, causing her to rapidly wave her hands in front of her in defense.

“I meant in a golden retriever way! If anything, he’d probably be happy for you.”

“Right…”

You started to say something else, something nice about the usual crowd you saw at the parties or even an excuse of being ‘too tired’ from the bonfire last night but suddenly felt ice-cold aluminum sticking to the back of your neck.

You let out a yelp as you quickly turned around, shooing away in whatever direction the cold can came from.

In turning, you came face-to-face with Yeonjun, crouched down next to you with a dripping Coke can in his hand, laughing his head off.

You glared at him, wiping off your neck. You were starting to get sick of him and his friends entirely considering how much they occupied your mind— and days in general.

“What the hell, Yeonjun?”

He was still laughing, which made you even more annoyed as you pushed yourself to stand up, shoving his shoulder.

“God, you're so immature."

"But you looked really hot," he protested. "I was trying to cool you off!”

Chaewon and Yunjin laughed at this, Yunjin turning fully to face the commotion.

“Nice one, Yeonjun. Very smooth.” Her voice was dripping with sarcasm and he flashed her a charming smile.

You didn't answer him, placing your hand on the back of your neck. Your jaw began to feel really tight, and you could feel all the other girls staring at you expectantly.

Yeonjun’s flirting was just a part of being his friend, after all. Everyone knew that it wasn’t necessarily targeted, though he did always say that you were his favorite to mess with so that could be debatable in your eyes.

And then Yeonjun’s smile slightly slipped away and he said, "Sorry. You want this Coke?"

You shook your head, and he shrugged before retreating back over to the water.

Yunjin shook her head, turning her attention back to the magazine she was flipping through. “Guys never learn…”

As she trailed off, you felt blood rush to your face out of embarrassment. Normally you would entertain his flirting, hell sometimes you were even the one to initiate it, but the past few days all you could focus on was him.

It was annoying, really. Yeonjun and you were always playful together but over this summer specifically, things seemed to change. Now all you wanted to do was talk to his friend but it seemed like he was ignoring you for some reason.

Still, your annoyance with his friend being taken out on him was less than fair and you knew it.

Being mean to Yeonjun was like being mean to a puppy. There was just no sense in it and you’d just feel bad afterwards. Too late, you tried to catch Yeonjun’s eye, but he didn't look back at you.

Chaewon sighed, “always tearing men apart. Aren’t you, Y/N?” She asked in a low voice.

You lay back down on your towel, this time face up hoping to hide the regret on your face.

You took a deep breath and let it out, slowly. The music from Kazuha’s phone was giving you a headache from the volume.

Chaewon leaned over and pushed up your sunglasses so she could see your eyes. She peered at you with concerned eyes. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah. It's just too hot out here." You wiped sweat off your forehead with the back of your arm.

"Don't be embarrassed. Yeonjun can't help being an idiot around you, he likes you."

"Yeonjun doesn't like me," you said, looking away from her.

It was obvious that you were trying to convince yourself.

Yeonjun did sort of like you, in the same way a boy likes his favorite toy. You were well aware of the fact that he liked you: you just wished he didn’t.

"Sure, he's totally into you. Just like Jongho, just like Shotaro. I still think you should give at least one of them a chance. It'll take your mind off of you-know-who."

You turned your head away from her and she said, "How about I do your makeup for the party tonight? I can use that cute pink glitter you liked last time!”

The idea of getting ready with Chaewon was comforting, even if you weren’t too keen on going anyways. “Sure.”

"What are you going to wear?"

You shrugged before noticing she had begun scrolling through her phone. Realizing that she hadn’t seen, you replied.

"I'm not sure."

Chaewon nodded, eyebrows knitted tightly together as if the decision was a crucial one.

"Well, you have to look cute because everybody's gonna be there," Chaewon said.

You had caught onto her emphasis of the word ‘everyone’ but decided not to comment on it.

"I'll come over early and we can get ready together." You nodded, closing your eyes once again with a deep sigh.

The bonfire casted a warm glow against the darkening sky, flickering flames dancing in the cool evening air.

You sat, Jisung’s arm draped around your shoulder as you downed another drink. Despite the close contact, everyone was well aware that the two of you weren’t together.

For the most part, everyone knew that you were single. You had made it very clear, despite your constant flirting that you weren’t looking for a relationship in the slightest— hell, usually when the summers would end you’d completely go ghost on everyone to return to your normal life.

What happens in Busan stays in Busan and all that nonsense.

Amidst the lively chatter and laughter, you had noticed a boy chatting with Yeonjun, silhouette illuminated by the fire's light as he fiddled with the a camera in his hands.

You’d seen him plenty of times before but never managed to talk to him by yourself, usually getting wrapped up in conversations with Yeonjun and his other friend, Kai.

Shrugging off Jisung’s shoulder you gave him a quick excuse, though he was too immersed in his conversation to even notice.

“Yeonjun! Who’s this?” You asked, stumbling a bit as you plopped yourself onto the log next to them.

Yeonjun’s eyes widened a bit at your suden appearance but he quickly eased into it, pulling his friend into him with a proud smile.

“Choi Beomgyu! Choi Beomgyu, this is Busan’s dear party girl, Y/N.”

“Beomgyu. Just Beomgyu.” The guy gave you a smile, though all you could focus on was his hair at the moment and how soft it looked.

“Not property of Busan, Yeonjun. I just come through sometimes…”

“Right. Y/N here is our summer storm.”

Beomgyu raised an eyebrow, “summer storm?”

“Every summer, returning to break boys hearts.” Suddenly, the idea of boasting about your reputation filled you with embarrassment.

You shook your head, letting out a forced laugh. “He’s joking! Obviously.”

“In other news, I haven’t seen you around much. Are you new here?” Beomgyu nodded.

“I guess you could say that. I usually come with Yeonjun and the others, just not big on the whole party scene.”

Yeonjun let out a dramatic wail, “poor guy stays in the vacation house the entire time. I tell him it’s no way to spend the summer but he never listens!”

The idea of spending the summer inside their vacation home did sound painfully dreadful— not that it was a bad home or anything, you’d been over a few times to hangout with Yeonjun and Soobin but it was fairly small to fit all four of them— or five now, you suppose.

The idea that there had been another guy with them the entire time that you never met made you the slightest bit annoyed at Yeonjun for not introducing you, especially considering how cute he was.

“I get it, a fellow introvert.” You said as Yeonjun gave you a bewildered look. “Fellow? You’re the least introverted person I know.”

Upon noticing the glare you gave him, Yeonjun’s mouth quickly reverted to his normal pout before he let out a hum of realization.

When people called you a chameleon, you always thought it was a bit funny. Although it was true in some ways with how you would change and shape yourself to match those around you.

The nickname didn’t bother you, though the scaled animal itself was less than appealing to be compared to.

“Regardless,” you started. “I can respect it. Sometimes it's nice to escape the chaos, you know?”

Beomgyu nodded before a small, playful smirk grew on his face, looking up at you. “Summer storms bring chaos wherever they go though, don’t they?”

The heat that you felt rush to your face had you clearing your throat before letting out an embarrassed laugh, reminding yourself to punch Yeonjun for calling you that later.

“R-Right…”

It must have been obvious that Beomgyu had you flustered because Yeonjun snickered before excusing himself, rushing back to the bonfire, probably to gossip about whatever was going on with the two of you with their friends.

“It's quieter over here, at least.” He said, taking a drink from the cup he was holding.

You wanted to ask what he was drinking but it seemed to just be water.

“Well, what's your story then? What do you do when you're not dodging party invitations?”

Beomgyu shrugs, tilting his head slightly. You notice how his hair frames his face so perfectly and again, you find yourself fighting the urge to brush it out of his face.

“Mostly just listen to or make music. And you?” Your eyes widened a bit at the idea of him making music.

Throughout your years visiting, you’d surely met hundreds of guys who claimed to be musicians.

Some were surely better than others but you couldn’t help but roll your eyes after the third time. Claiming to be a musician just felt like the oldest trick in the book now.

Despite this, you found yourself interested in Beomgyu’s music specifically as you shuffled closer slightly. As if it would somehow serve to let you know more about him.

“Oh, you know, the usual. Hanging out with friends, smoothies and açaí bowls… hitting up every party within a ten-mile radius and waking up with the worst headache ever thanks to Soobin’s mystery concoctions.“

Beomgyu gave you a look as if to ask if you were crazy, “I wouldn’t put anything in my body that Soobin makes. That’s your first mistake.”

A genuine laugh slipped and you shook your head, leaning in as you held eye contact with him. Unlike you expected him to, he didn’t seem to shy away from you.

Most strangely, you found that you couldn’t read him at all.

It stayed like that for a while.

“Let’s take a picture together! To preserve this memory. To new friends, right?”

“Sure. To new friends.”

That moment it felt as though the hands of time stood stilll; Beomgyu and his camera smile— a flash of something real.

Your heart fluttered at the click of the camera’s shutter, and that was it.

The two of you talked until the evening, agreeing to meet again once the sun came up.

You knew that you would be hungover and dreaded the idea of getting up early but decided to deal with it to spend more time with him.

And so you met up once more, traveling down the beach’s trail as the moon came out for awhile; the trail lights glowing warmly creating a halo around him.

He’d offer to take a photo and you’d gladly pose for him, grateful that he wanted to remember you.

With each click of the camera, the clock would pause and resume its ticking with your heart on the dial.

Beomgyu had agreed to come out to more parties for the promise of seeing you and you found yourself searching for him at every function.

The two of you began to emerge during each other’s off hours simply to connect as often as you could, summer’s clock ticking away.

There were a few whispers about you and your new ‘boy toy’ but you couldn’t find it in you to entertain them like all the times before.

Something about him grabbed you, genuinely, for the first time in years. Anytime you thought that you had nailed him down he seemed to surprise you again.

Your ‘Mr. Mysterious’ quickly became ‘Mr. Perfect’ in your mind and as embarrassing as it was, you found yourself checking your phone often for his texts.

Despite your seemingly contrasting personalities, you felt a genuine connection spark, conversations somehow flowing effortlessly.

And that’s how you found yourself completely overthinking everyday leading up to the end of summer.

The idea of going from talking to and seeing Beomgyu everyday to not at all was sickening to you.

Something you never worried about before, the mere idea of him forgetting about you made you nauseous.

Though, you were far too prideful to ever truly admit that to someone, it was fairly obvious to everyone around you with how your behavior had changed.

Rejecting any and all advances toward you, instead opting to look for that familiar head of brown hair and finding yourself waiting for him.

Impatient as always, you’d stand with your arms crossed tapping your feet in annoyance at the curious glances thrown your way but the second he would show up, the biggest smile would make its’ way onto your face as the world melted away.

You wondered if he himself had noticed that change or if he thought that was just how you were.

Saving yourself and your time for him, precious nights spent partying without a care in the world had turned into nights focusing only on him. Or alternatively, your nights being ruined when he didn’t show.

The rest of the summer seemed to fly by quickly, regardless of how agonizingly slow it felt waiting for him to make a move.

There were times when you were sure it would be it, quiet moments in the car before he had dropped you off at home. Your breath hitched as he looks at you from behind his glasses, only for him to smile and give you a ‘get home safe.’

That was the last night you had seen him, a week and a day ago. You would be embarrassed of how long you had been keeping count if you weren’t upset by it.

In the end though, you guessed that was what you got for waiting around for some guy.

“Y/N, you’re spacing out again.”

“Huh? Oh, sorry.” Kazuha laughed as she turned back to the mirror, applying her lip gloss.

“You know, even if Beomgyu doesn’t show up I’m sure Yeonjun will.”

“Beomgyu will show up!” Chaewon cheered, pausing for a moment while she applied your eyeliner.

She must have noticed that her voice came off much too certain as everyone in the room gave her a confused look.

She laughed nervously before continuing. “I-I mean… I asked Yeonjun and he said he was going, so…”

“Right.” Yunjin said, drawing it out as she straightened out her bangs.

“You said he hasn’t answered you in a while, right?” Eunchae asked from the doorway, shoveling spoonfuls of fruit loops into her mouth.

“Uh… yeah.” Your voice was quiet and it was obvious that you were embarrassed about it.

“Want me to send a pipe bomb to his house?” She asked, eyes cast down as she scooped up more cereal.

Chaewon paused to slowly turn to Eunchae who shrugged, causing you to laugh and relax the slightest bit.

“I don’t think blowing up Y/N’s boy of the week is good for the singles’ economy. Who knows, he might come back in the cycle.”

“I don’t care if he shows up, anyway.” Kazuha and Yunjin silently shared a knowingly glance.

Chaewon frowned, fixated on the glitter she was applying to your eyelid.

Eunchae smiled, dimples showing as she shook her head. “He totally got you, didn’t he?”

A part of you wanted to deny it, but the silence that fell over the room with soft music playing from the speakers was enough to tell you that there was no point anymore.

No matter how many times you’d argue, swinging like a pendulum between yes and no— you’d always reach the same conclusion.

You always wondered if the mind answered to the heart. The way it always conjured up things that weren’t there. The prizes he won for you at the boardwalk’s arcade and the way he held your hands in his as he tried to teach you to play some dumb shooting game.

You didn’t pay attention to the screen and he laughed with you focused on him being so close.

There was never a chance for you to try and change how you acted around him, he saw right through it.

Maybe that was the reason you found meaning behind everything he did when it came to you.

How he plagued your mind like a disease, invading your space like some irritating bug you couldn’t quite catch.

And you could never place what was so different about him compared to everyone else you had talked to. Something about being with him felt like being home, somehow.

So despite the growing irritation, you would wait until summer’s end.

Wanting the mirage knowing it will never be enough.

But your heart doesn’t have eyes and the mind cannot resist when it asks.

You sighed. “Maybe he did.”

The beach house party was already irritating to you once you arrived. The girls kept together as they all went to get drinks and you set off on your own.

And even though you swore it wasn’t to go find your pest of a guy friend that you may or may not have had a tiny crush on, it was obvious that no one believed you.

The party had been loud and crowded like all the ones before but now the mass amount of sweaty people just irked you and dancing seemed far less appealing.

Maybe you had finally gotten over the scene and preferred something much more down to earth and personal.

It made you sad in a way, but you chalked it up to the fact that things always change.

Only the golden sand stretching outside into the horizon provided comfort as you peered out to the waves through the pane of glass.

Torches outside lined the perimeter and flickering flames adding a warm glow to the gathering as a few stragglers hung outside.

The sliding glass doors blurred the boundaries between the inside and outside and you felt drawn to the deck, eventually giving up on searching for Beomgyu.

Considering he hadn’t been answering your messages anyways, you assumed he wouldn’t bother talking to you even if he was there.

“Y/N!” A familiar voice called for you and before you could turn, a heavy arm found its way around your shoulder as the guy practically dropped into your lap.

“…Soobin?” You gave him a confused look. The two of you had talked tons of times but you wouldn’t consider you particularly close.

He also wasn’t one to play into your usual flirting so for him to, quite literally, throw himself at you was strange.

“Yeah, yeah!”

“Are you… okay?” There wasn’t much concern in your voice. After all, you’d seen Soobin drink a fair amount of times and he seemed to handle the morning after well enough so you figured he’d be fine.

“Yeah! Yeah, I was looking for you.”

“For me?” Now, there was a bit of concern in your voice. A small part of you nagged at you for being so selfish but you brushed it to the back of your mind.

“Yeahhh…”

“Why?”

He hummed, raising an eyebrow at you with puffed out cheeks. As cute as he was, you were already beginning to feel a little annoyed.

Curse you for being sober.

Gently, you reached out, pinching his cheeks where his dimples were. “Spit it out?”

“Oh! Yeahh, Beomgyu’s looking for you.” At this, your eyes seemed to light up and betray you as Soobin’s smile grew even wider, taking notice.

The deck was adorned with string lights and colorful lanterns that must have begun blurring together for Soobin as he squeezed his eyes shut for a moment.

Knowing the feeling all too well, you let out a sigh. “Stay here, I’ll get you some water.”

Standing up, you gently pushed him off of you and he frowned.

“What about Beomgyu?” His voice called over to your retreating form.

You let out a huff as you waved a hand back towards him dismissively. “What about him!”

As you made your way back inside, lounge furniture was scattered throughout as guests were spread all over.

A makeshift bar was set up in one corner, stocked with an array of cocktails and chilled beverages. When you reached the table, grabbing a cup and sharply turning to make your way to the kitchen a body suddenly blocked you.

“Y/N!” Looking up, you sighed with relief.

“Jake, hi.”

“You’re not drinking?” He asked, motioning to the empty cup in your hand as he held his between his lips.

Ignoring the way he had asked as if he was genuinely shocked at the idea, you shook your head.

“Maybe later. Right now I’m getting water for a completely wasted Soobin.” Jake nodded, gently guiding you by your arm to move behind him as someone shoved the two of you.

He gave them a glare before returning to you with kind eyes. “Don’t let me stop you then. I just wanted to let you know that Beomgyu’s been looking for you.”

It was almost like the mention of his name alone gave you a headache with the way you audibly groaned.

“Thanks, Jake.” You said with a thin smile, pushing past him as he gave you a confused look.

Finally reaching the kitchen after a few minutes that felt like ages, you filled the cup with ice and water before returning to Soobin.

Stepping through the glass door once more, you saw the all too familiar back of a head.

“Beomgyu,” You started.

“Hey, Y—”

“Y/N!” Soobin cheered, pulling Beomgyu in close to him and pointing. “Y/N’s here! You were looking for her and now you’re here. Both— you’re both here. My favorite couples here!”

“Not a couple.” The two of you said in unison.

Even though you had said it as well, you couldn’t help but feel upset by how quick he responded. How hypocritical.

Soobin looked between the two of you before groaning, taking the cup out of your hands and downing it.

“AH— Ice water? Are you trying to kill me?”

You shrugged, sitting on the opposite side of Soobin from Beomgyu.

“I was hoping the cold would shock your nervous system back to normal and factory reset you or something.”

Soobin paused for a minute before nodding. “Very smart. I admire woman in stem.”

“Don’t you mean women?” Beomgyu asked, amused.

Soobin just shook his head.

“Why did you drink so much anyway?” You asked.

It wasn’t like Soobin was a prude when it came to drinking but more often than not, him and Kai were the sober ones of their friend group. At least, unless they were celebrating something.

“Wowww, I am so glad you asked.” Soobin motioned from you to Beomgyu, leaning back slightly.

“Take it away.” He said, only for Beomgyu to shoot him a look that you couldn’t exactly read.

Soobin deadpanned at the silence before letting out a huff, pushing himself up clumsily and stretching. “I am.. celebrating!” He raised his arms up for only a moment before they dropped to his sides.

“You,” he started pointing at Beomgyu. “Do the thing. I’m outta here.”

With that, he stumbled away to go find Kai. You furrowed your eyebrows at the fact that he had basically just thrown you to the wolves but decided to chalk it up to the fact that he was inebriated.

“So…” Beomgyu began to trail off and you huffed, arms wrapping around yourself for comfort.

If he had asked, you were just cold.

“You haven’t answered me in a week. That’s kind of a dick move— actually, no. Not kind of. It is a dick move. You’re a dick, Beomgyu.”

Beomgyu let out an exasperated sigh and you opened your mouth to berate him before he nodded.

“Yeah, you’re right.” Expecting him to argue back, his lack of defense made your annoyed expression morph into one of confusion.

“…Huh.”

“I was a dick,” he started. “I should have answered you, there’s no reason for me to not have. I think I just needed some time to myself after getting burnt out from going out so often and I got caught up in my own world. I’m sorry.”

His response was clear and communicative and you found yourself feeling embarrassed for trying to start an argument. Because he wasn’t like any other guy you had talked to and you seemed to forget that.

“I’m sorry for being rude.” He shook his head and smiled.

“You just missed me, right? You have a reason to be hurt.”

The familiar feeling of your chest tightening made you clear your throat. “As if…”

Beomgyu laughed. “Alright. You missed my camera, then?” He asked, holding up the camera he had in his lap.

You hadn’t even noticed it throughout Soobin’s antics but now that it was in front of you, your eyes became fixated on it.

“Maybe just you.” You muttered, putting your hand over his and pushing the camera back to his lap gently.

“Knew it.”

“Don’t get cocky.” You said with a huff, finally meeting his eyes, not even realizing that he moved closer in Soobin’s absence.

“I couldn’t. Never with you. You keep me humble.”

With him sitting in front of you, eyes as warm as always you found him only confirming what you were afraid of.

You didn’t just love Beomgyu, you were in love with him.

“I think I hated being away from you more than anything. Like, ever.” Beomgyu paused for a moment before nodding.

“Me too.”

You shook your head, “well it didn’t seem like it.”

“I think missing you was easier for me because of all the pictures of you I have.“ Your breath almost caught in your throat at the comment, imagining him hanging up the photos he had taken on each of your outings in his room like precious memories.

“I forgot that just because I got to see you everyday, that didn’t mean you could see me. Sorry, Y/N.”

And it was true. Despite your bugging Beomgyu much preferred to be behind a camera than in front of it and you didn’t want to bother him so eventually you had stopped asking.

All you had was one shaky photo of Beomgyu next to your drunk self, both of you giving a thumbs up. An embarrassing photo that you would rather take to your grave than make your lockscreen for all to see.

“You better make it up to me. Summer’s already ending, you know…” your voice trailed off and he could sense the hurt behind your words as you pulled your knees closer to your chest.

Despite the loud music from inside and the few stray party goers outside with you both, the moment felt way too intimate for your liking.

“You’re right. We’ll just have to make the most of it, right?”

Another annoyed sigh came from you and you turned, cheek pressed against your knee as you glared up at him.

“So, you excited to get back home to your girlfriend?” Beomgyu raised an eyebrow at you.

“My… girlfriend? Y/N, I don’t have a girlfriend.”

You groaned, “then why haven’t you asked me?”

Your voice was barely above a whisper and you were sure that he didn’t even hear you. Before you could try and backtrack, he chuckled.

“God, you’re impatient aren’t you?” Straightening back up, you gawked at him.

“Me?! Impatient? I’ve been waiting, like, all summer!”

“I meant right now,” he said mindlessly combing through his camera’s gallery.

Eventually he stopped, turning it to you. On the small screen, fuzzy and dark was the photo of the two of you that first night you had met only illuminated by the fire nearby.

Before you could ask him why he was showing you that, he cut you off.

“I had to ask Yeonjun beforehand. Since I’m such a good friend.” His voice was teasing as you rolled your eyes.

“And before you deny him liking you, I already know that he did.” You reminded yourself to curse at yourself later for being so predictable.

“Anyway, he was cool about it so I just had to think over how I wanted to tell you how I felt.”

“How you felt?”

“Isn’t it obvious?”

“I think the best ways for me to communicate are through music and pictures, so I wanted to do something with those.” He let out an irritated huff before gently handing you his camera, your eyes still fixated on the photo of you both.

Shuffling through his side bag, he pulled out a folder. It was a normal white folder but on it was small doodles of bears and other animals. It was cutesy, not what you were expecting, but cute.

“But, I don’t have access to any of my recording stuff here so I figured the pictures would have to do.”

You hesitated for a moment to open the folder before he nudged you. Gently, you opened it up and slid out the photos. They were physical prints of all the photos he had taken of you and the one you had taken together.

“I think that the best pictures are ones we take of the people we love.” He said, voice a bit quieter than before as if not to scare you.

The kindness in his words hit you and the weight held behind them made you almost want to cry as you were reminded all over again.

You loved Beomgyu.

And you almost wished that you never did because loving him was like being ten years old again, scaling a tree with your eyes bright and skyward as the sun shined down on you, wanting only to get higher and higher, without a thought of how you would get back down.

Because the comfort in knowing he would be there to catch you if you fell was worlds more painful than the idea of falling at all.

Falling into the realization that if you were to lose him and the summer, a whole universe would go along with him.

In changing yourself for every guy that you’d talked to, entering stages for some momentary fun only to leave in the morning and forget once summer ended, you picture all your other selves, standing in line like a row of dominoes; separate but part of the same disjointed whole.

None of them felt like you, not anymore. Not when he saw right through you like this.

Yet, how could you hold a single one accountable when all you wanted was to be loved?

The realization for Beomgyu had come much too soon for his liking. Almost as if he had fallen face first into love, simultaneously knocking the air out of him while helping him see things much clearer.

How much easier it got for him to imagine you as a young girl. To think about your worn-out heart, breaking for the things you couldn't hold on to such as childhood pets and toys. The wish that he had met you sooner, if only to love you for longer.

The moment that the realization had come, the flash had hit you as he stared at you through the view finder. Your prettiest smile through his lens, he could somehow taste the salt of the sea when you both were miles inland.

Whenever you were together, the ocean felt like a fractured memory of when you had first met.

Your reputation never mattered to him, everyone had something they were known for. Who you were in front of his camera: he believed in that version of you. He loved that version of you.

He loved you.

And in the moments where you would slip, showing some sign of sincerity with your soft spoken words and your gentle glances, he had always known.

How you threw yourself blindly at the world and its people, hoping that it would always open its arms up to you and find you a home.

You weren’t some disastrous storm wreaking havoc— he found a pearl a much more suitable comparison. Like the ones you would look for on every beach, the place you felt most at home.

A pearl. Soft and sensitive to the world around it, yet as beautiful as the ocean it made its’ home.

-‘๑’- return to music box. ➔ masterlist.