#i'm glad i kept all these old notes

[iluvmattsbeard]

older (m.s)

master list

student! matt sturniolo x professor! reader

warnings: HEAVY smut/oral (female receiving)/fingering/p in v/creampie/swearing

preview: 18 year old student Matt is a freshman in college. you are his professor who is 28 years old. Matt is a phenomenal student. but during lectures, he can’t help but check out his professor, fantasizing about you. you tell him it’s unprofessional for you to pay more attention to him than any other student. you also tells him you're too old for him which, he tries to prove to you you're wrong.

*not proof read*

a/n: i’m doing a collab with @mwahsturns ! go check out her version of Matt being the professor, click here ,this is my version of the reader being professor! i’m so glad I had the opportunity of working with her. she is lovely and absolutely amazing overall. i hope to do this again. if anyone would also like to collab with me in the future, let me know! - L 🤍

even though Matt was pursuing his YouTube career with his brothers, Matt wanted to do something on his own. in videos, he is known to spread light on mental health and anxiety. as he did some research, he found a community college that fit his standards. he wanted to major in psychology and hopefully see where it takes him. his brothers supported his decision and he couldn't be anymore excited. he enrolled himself and got in immediately. today was his first day and he was currently packing his back pack. "are you sure you'll be able to handle all of this?" his brother Nick asks. Matt was in the middle of shoving his books in his bag, "yes Nick. i'll be okay. i'm just going to see if this is right for me. if it's not, then i'll stick to YouTube." he responds while zipping up the bag in front of him.

"okay I was just making sure." Nick says getting up from the bar stool in the kitchen. "alright, i'm all set. i'll see you guys later." Matt says putting on the back pack and picking up his car keys. Chris and Nick both say good bye to him and he walks out, heading to his car. as soon as he put the address in his navigation, he noticed the estimated arrival time and muttered under his breath, "fuck." it was not going to be a good first impression he thought. when he finally got on campus, he headed straight to his class. he got to the door and opened it, walking inside to see all the students turn and look at him. "you're late." he hears a woman say. he turns to look at you. you had your back facing towards the class as you wrote something on the whiteboard.

you turn around and he locks eyes with yours. "what's your name?" you ask walking over to your desk. "Matthew." he says eyeing you. "okay Matthew, you may take a seat. I'll let it slide since it's your first day." you respond looking up from your computer to catch his stare. Matt nods and walks to an empty seat. he didn't expect his professor to look the way you did. he looked at the board to see your name. "miss L/n..." he whispers to himself. Matt kept his eyes on you as you spoke, "Matthew, you can ask the person next to you to copy their notes that I previously had up. go over it and try to catch up okay?" Matt nods and does as you say. as he took notes, he couldn't help but get distracted by the professor. your white button up shirt with your hair both placed in front of your shoulders, your long black pencil skirt, stockings, and black heels. he couldn't keep his eyes off you.

as time went by, Matt was always on top of his work. his focus was always there in lectures. he didn't really find the subject of the class all that interesting but, his professor was all he cared about. he wanted to stand out and to do so, he needed to focus on what you were teaching about so he could stay on top. Matt was never good in school but, this was different. after one of the lectures, he decided to stick around as other students left. "is there something you need Matthew?" you ask looking up at him. he was still sat in his seat as he clears his throat, "i'm having a little trouble accessing some material at home." he says lying. "let me take a look." you suggest to him. he gets up and walks over to you with his laptop. "you can call me Matt by the way." he adds on as he places the laptop in front of you. you smile a bit, "good to know." you respond and looks at his screen.

you began to open up the material that he claimed wasn't working. you look at him, "are you sure it wasn't working at home?" you ask. "it wasn't last night. I guess you have the magic touch." he says causing you to laugh, "I guess so. anything else you need help with?" you ask. he shakes his head, "not that I know of." he says taking his laptop off the desk. he starts to walk away but you call out to him, "wait Matt." he turns around and looks at you, "yes?" he asks. you stand up from your chair and smile, "I just want to tell you i'm highly impressed by your work. every single assignment you turn in, is beyond what I ask for." you complimented him. Matt grins before speaking, "I am being taught well." you laugh, "thank you. that just means i'm doing my job." you say clasping your hands together in front of you.

as more lectures go by, he couldn't help but start to fantasize about you. he started to imagine how he would look impressing you with something else he's good at beyond his assignments. the way you spoke, he could just imagine the way you would whisper in his ear. Matt would eye your buttoned shirt and imagine how he would undo it. his thoughts were soon interrupted by the professor clearing your throat, "Matt?" you call out. he gulps and looks up at your eyes instead of your blouse, "make sure you're paying attention." you say tapping on his desk before walking away. after class, you ask him to stick around. "are you okay?" you question him. he was sat across from you, "yes i'm fine. why?" he asks. you laugh a bit, "I could tell your mind was wondering off somewhere else. I just wanted to know if something was bothering you." you say as he stares at you. "oh yeah, i'm sorry about that. I didn't mean to." he responds.

"that's okay, just let me know what's on your mind next time." she suggests. Matt nods and it stays quiet for a bit. "how'd you get into teaching?" he asks breaking the silence. "it's a long story." you say laughing a bit. he has this blank face as he speaks, "I have time." your smile fades a bit as you let out a little breath, "well, it wasn't my first choice. I wanted to pursue in something more creative but to my parents it was more of a dream than a reality. I decided to get into education and well here I am." you continued to ramble but he catches you off guard with his next question, "what's your name?" you look at him, "that's a sudden question. my name is Y/n but don't get use to that." you say. "how old are you, Y/n?" he asks curiously and boldly. "none of your business." you respond as he grins, "i'm just trying to get to know you." you hesitate but eventually tell him, "i'm 28." you mutter out.

"are you married?" he asks making your eyes widen a bit, "no but, that's a very personal question. this is starting to get inappropriate." you say getting up from your chair. Matt gets up as well, "it's inappropriate to try to get to know you?" he asks. you turn to look at him, "it's inappropriate because i'm your teacher. i'm not somebody you need to know better." you respond. he puts on his back pack and smiles, "only innocent." he says walking out the classroom leaving you standing there alone.

a few days later, you were at your desk grading assignments as you notice Matt's work getting sloppy. you ask him to stay after class and he does so. it was all apart of his plan. "Matt, your recent assignments have been painfully hard to grade. you were doing good not too long ago, why are you being lazy with your work?" you ask in a serious tone. "i'm not quite sure. why don't you want me to get to know you?" he asks catching you off guard. "Matthew, we're talking about your work here." you say wanting to stick to the serious conversation. "are you scared Y/n?" he asks making you fix your posture, "it's miss L/n to you." you remind him. "answer my question. are you scared you might enjoy talking to me?" he says. "it's inappropriate." you say repeating yourself from last time. "is it inappropriate to ask what you like to drink?" he asks tilting his head a bit with a small smile.

"mainly iced coffee." you answer hoping to move on from the conversation, "now can we talk about your work?" you ask hoping he would cooperate but, he gets up and puts on his back pack, "i'll fix it." he says before walking out leaving you once again, in shock. you sat there wondering why he was acting the way he was.

the next day, you had your back facing the class as you wrote a check list on the board. as soon as you turned around, you do a double take of the iced coffee that was placed on your desk. you look up from it, eyeing Matt as he just grins and looks away to unzip his bag. unbelievable you thought. after the lecture, you ask him stick around as everyone else leaves. "Matt, don't start this." you say sternly. "what? I can't get you coffee for being a good teacher?" he says with a sly smile. you sigh, "that's nice of you but I know what you're doing." you say with your arms crossed. "what am I doing?" he asks not taking his eyes off of you. "you're trying to flatter me." you mutter out. he laughs and puts on his back pack. he looks at you up and down and greets you good bye as he walks out. "what are you up to..." you whisper to yourself.

when Matt arrived home, he began to do his assignments. "how has school been?" Chris asks before taking a sip of his Pepsi. Matt's eyes stayed on his computer, "not much to talk about." he says. Chris rolls his eyes a bit, "nice talking to you." he says. "there is this girl." Matt lets out. "who?" Chris asks now very interested. Matt looks at him, "none of your business." he laughs to himself as he remembers you telling him that. "then why bring it up?" Chris says with a blank face. Matt just laughs again and shakes his head.

the next few days, you start to notice Matt's work going back to being astounding. how is that possible? how did he do it so quickly? Matt continued to get you iced coffee every day. other students were starting to notice. as you sat there, you continue to look at Matt's work and you started to put the pieces together. the coffee, the inappropriate behavior, and he was purposely being sloppy before. you shut your computer as you look at him already staring at you. you felt a sort of shiver go down your spine as this look was different. his eyes were captivating in a way that made you feel disappointed in yourself for even thinking that. you look away and begin your lecture. after, you ask Matt to stick around once more.

"were you being sloppy on purpose?" you ask standing in front of his desk. "maybe." he responds with the same sly smile like always. you let out a sigh, "Matt, why are you doing this?" you ask. "doing what?" he asks trying to be innocent. you turn around and pick up the iced coffee on your desk, "the coffee every day, you wanting to get to know me, asking personal questions, and now I realize you were purposely trying to stay after class." you let out making him lean back in his seat. "and the question you asked the other day. if I was scared that i'll enjoy talking to you? seriously?" you add on.

he looks down and shakes his head with a smile. "what is so funny?" you question with your arms crossed. he looks back up at you, "do you really want to know?" he says. "yes I do." you respond waiting for him to explain. he sits up a bit as he places his arms on the desk, "I think about you constantly." he pauses for a bit, "do you think I wanted to fantasize about my professor?" he asks. you uncross your arms and gulp, "no one asked you to." you say. he laughs a bit, "yeah well I do. you make it hard for me to focus." he says making you look away, "then maybe you should transfer into a different class Matt." you suggest.

"are you sure you want that?" he says making you look at him. it stays quiet for bit as you both locked eyes. you look away quickly and turn around, "I can't do this." you say walking up to your desk. Matt gets up and walks behind you. you stop in front of your desk, placing your hands onto it. Matt gets closer behind you as he presses up against you slightly. you look ahead of you as you felt his presence. Matt moves your hair away by tucking it behind your ear as he gets closer to your ear. you gulp as you stand still, "are you sure you want me gone from your class Miss L/n?" he whispers in your ear. you felt a shiver roll down your spine, "i'm too old for you Matt." you whisper still looking ahead of you. "I'm of age you know." he lets out. "i'm still 10 years older than you..." you reply but he just continues, "just because I'm young, doesn't mean I don't know how to handle you." you let out a breath as he starts to run his hands on your waist, down to your hips.

"i'm your professor Matt..." you whisper. he smirks, "I know. but I can also teach you things." he says turning you around. he steps closer as you lean a bit against the desk, "like what?" you ask looking into his eyes. he picks you up by your waist as he places you on the desk. he was now standing in between your legs as he looks down at you, "I can teach you what it's like to feel good." he whispers. you gulp without breaking eye contact, "Matt..." you whisper back. he places his hands on your face as he pulls you in slowly, closer to his face. your lips were nearly touching, "tell me, do you want that?" he asks. you were filled with mixed emotions. the way you two were, if someone walked in, it would've been obvious what's about to happen. Matt rubs your cheek softly, "use your words." he says in a low tone. his words became more demanding as his eyes grew dark. "teach me then..." you whisper out. he immediately presses his hungry lips onto yours as he kept his hands on your face. your hands were placed on the desk as you leaned into the kiss.

you knew this was wrong but, it felt so right. Matt moves his hands down to your thighs as he places a good grip on them. he pulls you closer, making his grown erection touch your core. you moan out quietly from the sudden action as he then starts to unbutton your shirt slowly as he continues to kiss you with the same eagerness. you buck your hips a bit against his clothed cock as he finally got your shirt to come undone. he then pulls it open, moving it behind your shoulders. now you were mostly revealed at top as your blouse was low on your elbows.

he moves his lips to your neck as he places wet kisses, he begins to suck your skin as he finds your sweet spot, causing you to throw your head back a bit as your eyes went shut. Matt then moves away and looks down at your skirt. he pulls it up slowly, revealing your black lace panties. he begins to kneel down as he pulls them down. you look down at him as he makes eye contact with your wetness. "already so wet for me." he says before moving his head closer in between your legs. he spreads your legs apart slightly as he started to work his way to lick your folds.

your breathing started to go uneven as you let out a breath. he began to tongue the inside of your entrance as you kept your eyes on him. you ran your hand through his hair as you moan quietly. you don't remember the last time someone pleased you. he starts to run his tongue up and down your entrance as your eyebrows furrowed, making your mouth open slightly. the mixture of the wetness of his tongue and your natural wetness was driving you crazy. his tongue worked like magic. he then began to flick his tongue onto your clit as he stuck two digits into your core. you moan from the stimulation as your thighs started to close in. Matt looks up at you as he watches your face change from the way he was moving. his fingers started to go in and out of you as he then started to swirl his tongue around your throbbing clit.

you grip his hair even more as you kept eye contact with him. he was loving the view he had. the way your mouth kept letting out beautiful noises, he knew he was living up to his words. you buck your hips, wanting more from him. he removes his fingers from inside of you and pulls away. he stands back up and licks his lips. "you seemed to enjoy that." he says. "you're looking like you don't mind anymore miss L/n." he lets out as he starts to unbutton his pants. you look at his crotch as he pulls down his pants with his boxers. you felt yourself in between your legs ache. you needed him badly. he strokes his cock as he makes you look at him in the eyes, "do you still think you're too old for me?" he asks, "look how hard you made me." he adds on.

he then grabs you under your thighs, pulling you closer to him as he rubs his tip at your entrance. "M-Matt..." you whine out. "if only you could look at yourself right now. not so inappropriate now huh?" he says with a grin. he then pushes himself into you as you throw your head back from the way he began to stretch you out, "fuck." Matt moans out lowly. you moan at the way he started to thrust slowly. you didn't know if you could take all of him but, he made sure you did. he starts to thrust harder into you as he pushes himself deeper into you. you wrap your legs around him as you pull him into a kiss. he kisses back as he now starts to pound into you. this made you moan in between kisses. your one hand rested around his neck as the other gripped behind his hair.

"keep it down." he says while going back to kiss you, muffling your moans. you shut your eyes as you melt under him. he loved the way he was stuffing you right now. he was finally fulfilling his imagination. you started to push against his thrusts as he gripped your thighs. his thrusts were deep, making your eyes fog up. you didn't know it was possible to feel this good. especially, from your student. he pulls away from the kiss, biting your lip softly. he pushes you down onto the desk, causing some stuff to fall off. he puts your legs together as he continues to thrust at a fast pace. you cover your mouth as you moan into your hands. the position he had you in hurt so good. "fuck i'm going to cum." he groans. "m-me too." you moan out. he spreads your legs and places his thumb on your clit as he started to rub in circles. you were a moaning mess as you gripped onto the edge of the desk.

Matt then releases in you after one last hard thrust. you both cum at the same time. he thrusts out his high as he pulls out of you slowly, watching his cum drip out of you. he grins feeling accomplished. you sat up on the desk as you caught up with your breathing. Matt pulls up his boxers and pants, buttoning it back up. he grabs his back pack and puts it on. he looks at you still on the desk as he smiles, "i'll keep this a secret." he says before walking out.

a/n: turned myself on 💀 LIKES, COMMENTS, REBLOGS ARE APPRECIATED! - L 🤍

Tag List!

@jnkvivi @fuckshitslover @nickgetsmewetter @mwahsturns

(COMMENT IF YOU WANT TO BE ADDED ONTO MY TAG LIST!)

[astralstarlight]

it would be nice to sit somewhere quiet with you

pairing: wriothesley x reader

summary: wriothesley is getting used to having you in his life (fluff)

word count: 1.9k+

a/n: i just assumed he lives in the fortress of meropide + he has a voiceline about how his handcuffs are built differently and can't be unlocked by any old master key, which prompted this ! i love him sm and i want to treat him so kindly

"What's this?"

The question leaves your lips before Wriothesley has completely let go of the small, metallic item in his fist. It's rare for him to invite you out for lunch, especially when it's an offer to meet you in the heart of Fontaine's main city. His invitation arrived at your desk in the form of a handwritten note, stating the time and place.

It's where you find yourself sitting opposite him now -- in a small cafe within a hidden corner of the city. A mostly empty area, but serving a delicious choice of tea and sweets. His words, not yours.

A beat of silence passes between the two of you.

It's broken when you gasp in surprise, cupping the key with one of your hands and dropping it onto the other hand as though expecting it to disappear between your motions. "Oh, I didn't realise this was a special occasion."

"It's so you don't always have to ask when you come down to visit me." He explains plainly, as though his actions haven't caused a complete rewiring in your brain of what you can expect from Wriothesley. He brings out his own room key to compare with yours.

A look of delight crosses your face when you see that they look completely identical. Clearing his throat, he drops his key back into his pocket, leaning his chin onto the palm of his hand. If he lets down his guard anymore, he's certain he'll blush at the adorable way you're acting right now. An odd, panicked thud hits within his chest when he realises you're not even looking at him, too busy gazing down at the key he's given you fondly. His nervousness changes to a pleasant warmth when you look up at him with a smile on your face.

"Thank you."

Wriothesley shrugs, crossing his arms in what he hopes is a nonchalant motion. "If it's for you..." The words trail off quietly as a different train of thought crosses his mind. "I'm glad you liked it." He says instead.

In the fourth months since then, you've visited him exactly six times and stayed over once. Although he's starting to think that it doesn't count, considering you left before he'd woken up. Not that he can recall the note that you left behind for him clearly in his mind. Not that he's counting your visits or memorising your excuses for coming this far his way. And he's definitely not got an eye out for you, knowing when you step into the Fortress of Meropide and the times of your exits.

So, as he stands, eyeing the dark and empty room which should hold you in some corner but doesn't seem to, he gets a little panicky. He knows you entered the Fortress of Meropide a little over an hour ago, although he hasn't kept track of your whereabouts since then. It takes a second for the panicked flutter in his heart to register as worry. But it's rendered him slightly useless. All he's doing is staring at the mattress covered in the soft sheets you'd brought with you on one of your visits in a stupid way.

There's a click from the bathroom door and he just manages to get a glimpse of your silhouette before you've barrelled into his chest. Wriothesley lets out a sigh of relief, letting his hands tangle into your hair. The bathroom, of course.

He hadn't even thought to check whether there was a light peeking out from underneath the door of the bathroom.

"Hi." You mumble, wrapping your arms around him and squeezing lightly. Screw his dislike of surprises apparently. "Did I scare you?"

The subtle teasing tone in your voice has the corners of his lips twitching.

"Obviously." He replies. "Who doesn't turn on the light when they enter the room in complete darkness? Even if they're going to the bathroom to shower first." He interrupts you as he notices you open your mouth to retort back to his question. Without waiting another moment, his hand slides from your hair to your cheeks, using a thumb to stroke your skin gently. His other hand reaches to flick on the light switch, revealing your flushed cheeks from the warm shower.

"I missed you." You say quietly.

He returns your sappiness with a roll of his eyes and a grin. "Can't even go without me for a couple of days, huh?"

"Mhm." You twirl a piece of your hair around your finger in thought. His eyes catch the motion, deciding whether to intertwine his free hand with yours. "When did you get the body wash I liked?"

Without answering, he buries his head into the crook of your neck and breathes deeply. It's warm. You feel yourself squirm at the ticklish sensation, only relaxing once his hand comes up to the back of your neck and massages it. An image sprouts in your mind of a hand holding a kitten by the scruff of its neck and you laugh.

It's always been like this; feeling a little like a give-and-take, except he keeps giving and so do you. A mumbled 'what?' brushes over your shoulder. Something seems to bloom in his chest when he notices you've left things behind in his room again. You don't apologise for it anymore. He wonders exactly when that happened.

Maybe somewhere between the third and fourth time you came over just to sit on his bed with him.

"Nothing." You pull away from the hug to look him over. His hair is tousled a bit more than it usually is, as though he ran all the way here from one side of the fortress to the other. A smile threatens to spread over your face and you bite your lip to stop it from appearing.

Wriothesley raises an eyebrow. You look all warm and cozy after your shower, and he honestly just wants to bundle you up and fall asleep with you in his arms. As though you can see the thought crossing his mind, you untangle yourself from his arms immediately, flopping back onto the bed with your arms spread wide.

Your eyes are closed lazily and you let out a contented sigh. "Ahh, it's so nice that I can curl up in bed since I'm all showered and clean."

Wriothesley gives a throaty laugh at the sight of you. His hands rest on his hips now as he rakes his eyes over your form. "Fine, fine. Want to help?"

You shoot up in bed instantly, eyes wide. "Yes."

"C'mon! Let me see how many layers you're actually wearing."

"Don't dissect me like some kind of insect--"

Wriothesley isn't stopping any of your movements though. Maybe he had something a little more dirty in mind when he made the offer, but it seemed that all you wanted to do was undress him and curl back into bed. He can live with that.

The cape comes off his shoulders first, and surprisingly, it's heavy. A quiet settles over the both of you once you actually move to undress him, and you can feel his eyes scanning your every move. Every movement of your hands against his bare skin or every notice of your intense gaze at his layers of clothing sends a jolt of electricity through him.

It's difficult to tell what he's thinking when he gets like this. You fold his cape neatly in half and place it to the side. You'll start a pile, you decide. As you get to work on pulling off his tie, you realise too late that he'll probably want to hang it up.

Your eyes don't leave his exposed collarbones as you toss his tie over to the side. A guilty feeling weighs you down, and you look up at him, only to find him still watching you with a curious look on his face.

"What? You're pretty," You state, only slightly embarrassed that you've been caught. Before he can retort with anything, you give him a kiss just above his collarbone. Wriothesley takes in a visible sharp breath, and you feel like you've won something. The waistcoat slides off his arms with ease as he lets you nudge him wherever you want.

It's self-consciousness instead of guilt that creeps up onto your next as he still doesn't say a word, merely watching your movements with an intense gaze. You feel a heat burn across your cheeks. You don't even realise you're clenching your fists until one of his hands envelops yours and swipes a thumb over your knuckles.

"You wear so many layers." You're throwing the waistcoat to the side now, shaky hands unbuttoning his shirt.

"It's cold down here." He pauses, tilting his head to think. "And it looks professional."

You snort. "Mm, yes, your loose tie is very professional."

"It adds personality and it makes me look good."

"Not going to argue with that last part." You mumble as your fingers fiddle with his shirt buttons clumsily. Finally, you’re able to get everything off, leaving him shirtless. It’s easier to see his breathing this way. It’s mesmerising. You brush over the scars on his chest absentmindedly. The way his even breathing stutters as you do so brings you back to focus on what you're doing. “Ah, sorry.” 

Before you can move away, he grabs your wrist, holding your splayed, apologetic hand in place. “It’s okay.” His voice is softer when he says that, almost shy. When he’s sure you’re not going to stop touching him, he lets go of your wrist. There are scars accumulated over years of fights and whatever else he hasn’t told you yet. Using just one finger, you trace the outline of a few of them on his chest and his stomach. The whole time, he keeps his breathing even, watching the thoughtful look on your face. As you slowly drop your hand back to your side, he asks a lingering question in his mind. “Can I touch you?” 

“I just showered.” You pout, shoulders slumping slightly at his suggestion. 

“Nothing else, I promise.” 

Wriothesley takes his time. His hand nudges at the top of your loose, bedtime shirt until he can kiss you on your shoulder. Soft pecks trail up to your jawline and his hand tilts your head slightly so he can bite you gently. A tentative hand travels up to the bare skin under your shirt and squeezes the side of your waist. When you don’t object, he pulls the shirt off of you, returning to wrap his arms around you as soon as he does and pulling you close to him. Another kiss, on your cheek this time. Again, on the corner of your lips. And the last one, a yearning press of his lips against yours as his hand strokes your jaw. 

He leans his forehead against yours and closes his eyes. “Just one more minute like this, and then I will be getting into the shower.” 

It’s warm in bed next to you. He’s curled up behind you, still placing kisses against your neck and brushing your hair aside as you squirm in his hold. With his arm slung over your waist, there’s not very much you can do. Maybe he’s addicted to kissing your skin. 

“I think I want to follow you around tomorrow.” You suggest hesitantly. There’s a small moment where you think he might actually say no to you, but he just nods and goes back to kissing your neck, brushing his lips down to your shoulder. 

“It’s pretty boring though. All paperwork and other things that I probably should be doing but I’ll ignore for a bit. Until I can't."

You’ve known him a bit too long, you realise. There’s a distinct lilt to his voice that tells you he’s smiling as he’s saying it, even though he’s got you facing the other way so that you can’t see him. 

“Don’t care.” A sigh leaves your lips as he gives you one more long kiss against your shoulder before pulling away. “I want to hang out with you.” 

You thread your fingers with the hand wrapped around your midriff, fiddling with them as you drift off to sleep. Wriothesley watches the silhouette of you breathing before deciding to leave you be and pull you closer to him instead. 

I think I’m afraid of losing you, he thinks. But maybe it’s still a bit too early to tell you that. 

[weeknd-ogoc]

24 HOURS AGO・。.・゜✭・. LANDO NORRIS

SUMMARY: in which lando knows it’s not fair to try to change your mind about pursuing your dream! (inspired by jack & jack's song, lotta love)

FACE CLAIM: cindy kimberly

CONTAINS: artist!reader, fluff, breakup & angst!

AUTHOR'S NOTE: don't know how euros work that great lol so bare with me and maybe i could turn this into a part 2??? alright so i’m back in my jack and jack era and i thought this song would make a good imagine :)

ynusername

liked by landonorris, alexandrasaintmleux, and 764,432 others

ynusername today's art exhibit was a success, thank you to everyone who was able to come and super thankful for those who bought my paintings! 🪴

view all 4,432 comments

landonorris FIRST!!

username when aren't you maxfewtrell ^^

landonorris you're so beautiful 💚

ynusername thank you my love 🥹

username 💘💘

username i showed up a bit late but she was literally so nice and lando was there swooning over her talking about her paintings!

username omgg i love how he's so supportive of her! username at the beginning i saw lando arguing with max over a painting but y/n told him she'd make him another one and he was pouting for a good fifteen minutes 😭

alexandrasaintmleux i had so much fun so proud of you babe!!

liked by ynusername

username ugh i wished i lived in monaco!

✭

before entering this two year long relationship with you, lando knew your dream was to open up your own painting studio to be able to teach children how to open up their creative side — the first time you guys had met was when lando accidentally bumped into you in front of your old art class that you were temporarily teaching at.

"oh i'm so sorry, my friend here is a bit clumsy sometimes." max apologized as lando helped you pick up your art supplies while giving him a glare.

they had both seen you every morning for the past week and max noticed lando's eyes lingering on you for awhile so he had this grand idea to finally make lando talk to you and this was that grand idea.

"yes i'm very clumsy." lando nodded and went along with it. "your board thing broke too, i can pay for your stuf-"

the three of you looked down at your broken palette and you shook your head picking it up. "you know what lando and..."

max gave you a cheesy smile and a little nod. "oh i'm max."

"well lando and max, you guys could come to my art exhibit tonight to make up for breaking my very expensive palette." you knew that it was just a cheap one that your sweet old boss had given you to work with but they didn't have to know that.

max quickly nodded and agreed for the both of them which earned another glare from his best friend. "we'll be there!"

later that night after going through half of his wardrobe and a few of max's shirts, lando finally chose his black button up shirt and his khaki colored jeans.

"if i was that girl i'd totally slip right out of my clothes for you." max joked. "oh by the way i can't make it, have a date with pietra in an hour."

so on the ride to the exhibit lando found himself going through most of his pickup lines and jokes in his head and when he found a parking spot right in the front his eyes landed on you.

he kept his eyes on you as he walked over to where you were, you had been wearing an orange dress with your hair curled and for a moment he felt speechless and all the things he was going to say just slipped out of his head.

"lando! i'm so glad you made it!" you gave him a quick hug and handed him a last minute portrait that you decided to add. "this thing is about to start so please be a dear and hang my last painting up in that corner there."

while you ran off to talk to an older man he stood up on a little stool and put your portrait up, lando wasn't interested in art but something about your painting was kinda calling to him.

€ 453.52

yeah he was definitely buying it.

when you made your return back to the table you saw him fixing the labels on the bottom of your paintings.

you couldn't lie he looked really good.

as the night went on he was really intrigued by all the art that others made, your boss had pushed you to go hang out with lando while he stayed behind to watch your stand.

"you need a life outside the art world so now go talk to him!"

lando listened as you talked about what you've been doing for the past few years and when it was time to talk about his work, you found yourself amazed by it.

your dad had tried getting you into formula one for years but you just couldn't find yourself interested in it. "over 200 miles per hour? pretty dangerous."

"i actually have a race in two weeks here in monaco, maybe you can come? i could give you passes of coarse." he said with a cheesy smile.

you nodded and let out a laugh. "sure, i would like that."

before you could continue talking your boss called you over and as you walked over there max had called him about a forgotten reservation they had planned a few days before.

"i'll be right back."

he looked over to you and saw there was people interested in buying your work so he wrote a little note to you and left it with your boss.

dearest y/n,

sorry i had to go in such a rush but i had a lot fun tonight.

i can pick up the beautiful painting tomorrow and maybe we can get dinner?

xxx-xxx-xxxx

lando

✭

lando.jpg

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lando.jpg the true masterpiece

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ynusername ugh i love you!!

lando.jpg i love you more maxfewtrell love you guys the most 🥹

username my favorite couple

username please adopt me!

maxfewtrell it should've been me

ynusername but it's not :)) maxfewtrell 🥱🥱

lillymhe my love (her) with her love (him)

ynusername miss you sm 😭 alex_albon 🤨 im getting real tired of you guys lando.jpg ^ me too

✭

lando recalled being excited to finally make it to the third date because everyone knew what happens after it — it had already been five months of you guys talking but because the both of you always had busy schedules it was very hard to set up this third date.

my boss is leaving to new york on tuesday so i'm available!

if you can make it you can totally stay over my apartment for a few days 🙂

as soon as he read your messages he booked a flight over to monaco since he had a free week off. "you should bring her to another race, i really liked her!" daniel told him as they left the cooling room.

he arrived in monaco just an hour before your shift ended so he made sure to get you some roses and when it was time he made his way over to your job where he saw children saying goodbye to you.

look outside!!

when you were finally able to look at your phone, you looked up and saw lando standing outside giving you an excited wave.

as you waved back at him your boss called you into his office.

i'll be out in a bit

your boss had called you in telling you he was going to sell the studio in a few months and move over to new york. "trust me y/n, i will call you as soon as the place is up and running..." he said as he fixed a few papers up on his desk. "you are my favorite worker and i would love to have you as a temporary teacher again."

"i know i have told you about becoming a full ti-"

"i just don't see you ready for that right now..."

you had told your boss time and time again that you wanted to become a full time teacher but he always had excuses for it and as he used another excuse you looked over to lando who was swatting something in the air with the roses he had in his hand.

"thank you for the opportunity but i think i'm going to take a break from the art world for a good while."

so after getting your stuff together you made your way to lando.

"finally, there was this huge bee attac-" he was so caught up in looking for the bee that was just attacking him a few minutes ago that he almost didn’t feel your lips place a light kiss against his cheek. "oh um..."

you pulled away with a smile on your face and let out a little chuckle at how red lando's face was turning. “c'mon my house isn't that far from here...”

he handed you the roses he had bought you, some of the petals had gone missing due to all the swatting he was doing with them but you still appreciated it.

"they're beautiful lan."

he smiled and nodded, face still red. "not as beautiful as you." he noticed his voice crack due to all his nervousness. "wow that hasn't happened in awhile..."

you intertwined his fingers with yours and began walking in the direction of your house with a smile on your face.

when the both of you arrived you gave him a tour of your apartment and he loved everything about it due to it giving cozy vibes as he said and when you guys finally made it over to your room he saw the vision board that you had hung up on your wall.

"i want to open up a studio in new york one day..." you told him as you took down your board just to show it to him. "i kinda quit since he wanted me to become a temporary teacher over in new york and that's not what i want so maybe later on i'll be able to do it but for now i think i'm just going to take a break."

he slowly nodded — he knew that you guys had been talking for only a few months but he really wanted to help you out with this, maybe even help you open up your own studio one day.

✭

ynusername & landonorris recently added to their stories

✭

you remembered the first time your parents were going to meet lando and you were freaking out because you had never introduced a guy to your parents.

when your mom found out you were finally seeing someone she got excited because she was starting to think you were never going to give her grandchildren.

when your dad found out you were finally seeing someone he was suspicious of the guy but when you told him it was lando norris his mind completely changed — he had watched formula one for years now and even tried getting you into it when you were younger but you found it boring.

"he's here! please be nice and do not bring out the baby pictures!" you told your parents before opening the door.

"we'll be on our best behavior, promise."

and even though they had promised you, you knew they were still going to embarrass you by the end of the night.

just last week you had met lando's family and they adored you.

lando knew your parents meant the whole world to you so he made sure not to goof around too much and by the end of the night your parents loved him.

"this is the greatest day of my life!" your father had said since lando had promised your dad some vip passes for next week's race you figured that was what won him over.

when your parents decided it was time to pull out the baby albums you decided to go into your old bedroom to change out of your dress and quickly update lily on how the night was going.

as lando looked at the pictures of you he saw one of you around the age of eight maybe, painting a wooden dollhouse.

"she's always loved doing art projects when she was younger..." your mother had told him. "has she told you anything about maybe looking back into teaching again or maybe opening her studio?"

he shrugged. "i think she's been looking for a spot here in monaco since i just moved here but she hasn't said much."

your mother had worried that being in love was stopping you from doing what you love the most so she could only hope that it wasn't that. "my y/n has always been independent so this whole relationship you have going on, i hope you're truly taking it seriously because she has never introduced us to anyone so i think that says she likes you a lot." your mother told him which he nodded and just before he can talk your father spoke. "you hurt i promise i will hunt you down, that's all."

lando saw you returning back to the table with a fuzzy orange blanket and he smiled at the sight of you before looking back to your parents. "trust me, i'm not going anywhere for a very long time."

✭

ynusername

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ynusername frosted ❄️

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landonorris the future mother of my kids everyone

lilymhe y/n asked when landonorris tell her very soon 🤫 landonorris and bring her back to me rn lilymhe gtg

username please get married already

maxfewtrell sorry about pushing you into the snow 🤭

ynusername next time i'm going to push you off the cliff

username i miss when she used to post about her art!

username me too she needs to bring it back!!!

username if you look closely you can see me throwing myself off a cliff :)))

✭

landonorris

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landonorris snow days ⛄️

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maxfewtrell now hold on why didn't i get a good picture

ynusername because you pushed me into the snow and didnt even help me up landonorris ^^ maxfewtrell i apologized, let it go!!

username tell y/n to post her artwork again!!

ynusername ☃️❤️

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carlosainz55 im assuming it was y/n's idea to make cookies

landonorris yup

✭

finally two - almost three years into your relationship, the both of you were already moved in with each other and lando was thinking about popping the question to you since everything was just going great with the two of you.

he already knew he was going to propose on christmas day.

"almost all gone again!" you smiled at him, seeing that one painting was left on your stand.

"well your work is amazing." he said as his chin rested on the top of your head as you looked towards your stand.

you had been close to purchasing a studio here in a monaco but you still had doubts and lando wasn't sure why that was so when he saw your old boss entering the exhibit and you running to hug him it all came back to him, your dream.

"i'm so glad you're still here! i have something to tell you!" your old boss said as he gave you a big hug and lead you towards the buffet table.

lando stayed behind by your stand as some people were asking him questions about your art work and while he was answering them, he kept his eyes on you who jumped up with excitement but then looked back to him.

yes you had been painting and doing side jobs in art classes, constantly talked about opening your studio even sometimes doing modeling gigs but lando had thought you'd be doing it here in a monaco so you could stay with him.

"you're not going to believe it!" you said with the biggest smile on your face, he stared at you in silence fearing what you might say "lan?"

"y-yeah sorry, what did he say to you baby?"

you explained to him that he was now selling his studio to move to paris and before he could sell it to someone else, he recalled you wanting a place in new york.

"that's amazing! what did you tell him?" he asked trying to sound super excited about it but deep down he was a nervous wreck.

you smiled at his excitement. "that i would think about it..."

✭

ynusername

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ynusername finished 🎨

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username ah the art content is back!!

username beautiful as always 🥹

alexandrasaintmleux a true artist 🤌🏼

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username surprised lando didn't comment this time

oscarpiastri picasso

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✭

ynusername

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ynusername oops

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username she is GIVING

landonorris like a renaissance painting 😚

ynusername ❤️❤️ ynusername im surprised you could spell that landonorris oh i struggled a bit

username 🤤🤤

francisca.cgomes i have something inappropriate to say...

pierregasly well don't say it

username MOTHER

alexandrasaintmleux 😍

lilymhe so hot r u kidding me rnnn

username we must stay focused 🧎🏻‍♀️

username in another universe i go home to this girl & give her my undying love & affection

landonorris im with her in every universe, sorry mate :)

oscarpiastri i'm so scared right now

maxfewtrell me too landonorris both of you leave and never come back

✭

lando had stayed over max's house the next night and max could tell something was wrong with his best friend — he was way too quiet which he never was and looked like he had a lot on his mind so when he asked lando about it, he told him the whole story including the part of wanting to propose to you tomorrow.

"she's going to chose to move over there mate..." he told max making his voice crack. "it wouldn't be fair of me to beg her to stay but i can't make her stay if she doesn't want to, i mean this has always been her dream!"

he knew this would be simple, just move over there with you but that was not what he wanted.

the both of you had been good twenty-four hours ago but you felt something different between the two of you, he felt distant like he had something in his mind but he couldn't tell you what it was.

"i don't know lils, i know he won't want to come with me and it wouldn't be fair to ask him to come with me, he hates new york."

you knew this would be simple, just stay over here with him but that was not what you wanted.

✭

landonorris

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landonorris after some time and consideration, y/n and myself have mutually decided to end our relationship but we will always remain good friends. i wish her the world over in new york and have so much respect for her and all she does as an amazing and strong woman. ❤️

please respect our decision and respect our – but more importantly and especially her privacy moving forward.

comments disabled

✭

ynusername

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ynusername after some time and consideration, lando and i have mutually decided to end our relationship but we will remain very good friends. i wish him the world have so much respect for him. ❤️

please respect our decision and respect our privacy moving forward.

comments disabled

✭

you were having a small art exhibit for the the first time in your brand new studio and had a few friends travel over just to visit, you had been hoping lando would show up but as time went on you figured he wouldn’t.

“i’m sure he’ll show up.” alexandra told you as she gave charles one of your paintings to hang up on the wall.

the both of you still texted a few times throughout the week and even facetimed whenever you guys were available.

“hey y/n, someone called in wanting to buy whatever portraits are left by the end of the night!” alexandra said as she held up an unknown address somewhere in monaco.

you smiled as you nodded, the extra money would help out so much with new supplies and just before you could help charles hang up some other extra things you saw max walking in.

“he wanted to but something came up…” max said as he took a look at your new portraits, noticing that one looked a little like lando. “but he did give me this to give to you.”

a note.

my dearest y/n,

i’m sorry i couldn’t make it out today on your grand opening but i just wanted to congratulated you on opening your shop! there was never a doubt in my mind these past three years with you that you ARE the most talented artist in our generation.

i promise to make a trip over to new york sometime soon!

with all my love,

lando

by the end of the night only a few portraits were left and as max watched you pack them up into a box to ship to the unknown address in monaco, he got on the phone with lando who was currently curled up in bed thinking about what to say when he decided to call you later that night. “so what are you going to do with all those paintings now?”

he looked around at his now empty walls that once had your paintings hanged up. “place them around the house.”

his eyes landed on the little red box that held the ring that was supposed to be yours on his nightstand and thought about maybe going to travel to your place tomorrow morning as a surprise. “actually max, i think i’ll be seeing you tomorrow morning.”

✭

ynusername & landonorris recently added to their stories 24 hours ago

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!

my f1 & f2 masterlist!

© weeknd-ogoc, 2023

[jasmines-library]

Hello sugar <3! (im very sorry if theres any spelling errors, english isnt my first language <3)

I would love to request some angst/comfort with the batfam? Maybe with the reader (tw: sa, rape) struggling with some sexual assault/rape issues, something they haven't told the family yet? The reader acting different for weeks, months even, and the whole family being suspicious and noticing their sudden fear of being cornered, touches and certain smells maybe?

its totally fair if you don't feel like it, I just really really love your way of writing the characters, and your writing over all. I swear, i swallowed your whole page in the matter of a few hours, I loved every second!

Kristy, Are You Doing Okay?

Note: My gosh im so sorry this literally took me over a month to get to, but it's here. I'm so glad you like my page and thank you for requesting! (Title name from song)

Warnings: SA, r*pe (non explicit but this fic deals with the aftermath. Please read with caution.), Panic attack of sorts.

Word count: 2.1K

⛤ BATFAM MASTERLIST ⛤

Please remember, if you are ever struggling you are not alone. It may be difficult at first but there are many places for you to reach out to, many of which are anonymous and do not need the involement of of name, if you are just needing for someone to talk to. There will always be someone out there to help you. As an alternative, my DM’s are always open for a chat! Remember: You are loved and you are so much stronger than you realise.

⛤

You hadn’t meant to drift away. It sort of just…happened. And it wasn’t even something you were conscious of really. The thoughts were just constantly there and you couldn’t shake the feeling of his hands roaming all over his body; the ghostly touch of his fingers lingering flush against your skin, burning an invisible bruise into your flesh. You tried to shy away from it but it was always there, buried into the front of your mind festering away like an old, unforgotten wound oozing with pus and blood that would only create more problems the longer it was left. 

The night it happened was cold and bitter. A shallow fog had cast itself over the city as you staggered back to the manor with makeup running carelessly down your face. You shut yourself away, turning the lock on your door and burying yourself under the covers to try and  shy away from the situation. But it never left. It just kept growing, weeding its way back through the open cracks like a stubborn plant that refused to leave no matter how many times you doused it with poison. You didn’t sleep that night. And you didn’t leave your room the day after. In fact the only time anyone saw you that day was when you slunk downstairs in the middle of the night to try and revive the growling of your stomach without having to see anyone when you bumped into Tim who was finally dragging himself up to bed. The interaction was odd. At first he thought that you had just been busy all day and that was why no one had seen you: It wasn't uncommon for one of you to disappear into your room for a few days to catch up on school work or to finally get more than 4 hours of sleep. But something about you was off. You were quiet and lacking that charisma that usually shone from you. You were jumpy too, recoiling as soon as Tim rounded the corner unexpectedly. 

When you finally managed to bring yourself out of your room, you were still withdrawn. Instead of donning your normal seat next to Jason at the table, you sat at the end alone pushing your food aimlessly around the plate until someone had finished eating and you took that as a cue to leave. You didn’t mean to leave them in the dark. Really, you didn’t but the thoughts crept into your mind every time they got near. Every hand outstretched sent a shiver crawling down the nape of your neck as if someone was running an ice cold digit along your spine. The thoughts were worse. Intruding. Obnoxious. You felt so…dirty. And your mind seemed to like to make sure you remembered that. You couldn’t help but feel like somehow the whole situation was your fault, which of course it wasn’t, but you were stuck with being guilt ridden; trapped within your walls. 

Your skittishness didn’t go unnoticed. The boys tried many times to talk to you or to get you alone, but each time one of them hastily trailed after you as you slunk out of a room you would pick up your pace until they got the hint and stopped dejectedly in the halls. You had just skittered off into another part of the manor when Damian decided he had finally had enough. 

He pushed his way back into the library rather frustratedly, stomping his feet so hard against the floor that they continued to pound through the room even as he moved from the polished wood to the carpet amongst the centre of the room. His brothers were still lounging around the room, their legs slung carelessly over the arms of the chairs or folded beneath them as they engrossed themselves in their phones or an ever growing pile of books. They barely even acknowledged that Damian had even returned from his pursuit of use, besides lifting their gaze as he huffed his way back into the room. 

“Something is wrong with Y/N.” Damian declared, planting his feet into the carpet in the centre of the room and placing his hands on his hips. 

Dick felt as though he could laugh. Damian’s statement was so obvious that you may as well have had a huge, yellow sign above your head that screamed ‘i’m not okay.’ It didn't matter how much effort you put into trying to hide the bags that dropped across your skin, or the way that you couldn’t stand to be in the same room with any of them for too long without your skin crawling, they were prominent amongst your saddened features. “Yeah, No shit.”he said, looking up from his phone that he had been mindlessly scrolling on to distract himself from the feeling that gnawed at his gut.

The room fell into a pregnant silence before Damians angry scoff broke the silence. 

“That’s it? That’s all you’re going to say?” He spat. “You’re not worried?”

Jason pushed himself up onto his forearms and spoke out defensively. “Of course we’re worried… It’s just…”

“What?”

“She won’t let us help her, Dami.” Tim said. “We’ve tried, but each time she’s run.”

“Well then try harder!” He said. It was unusual for the youngest Wayne to react this way when it came to his siblings. But, then again it was unusual for you to shy away like this and although Damian would never admit it, he had a soft spot for you and seeing you hurting like this killed him a little inside. 

“Damian.” Dick reprimanded sternly. 

He sighed and swallowed thickly. “I’m sorry. I just can’t see them suffering like this anymore.”

There was a general agreement between the four of them. Tim chewed away at his bottom lip as he thought for a moment. “What do you propose we do?”

The whole room seemed to think together as one for a moment. 

“We corner them.” Damian said. It might have seemed cruel, but it was the only thing he could think of that would stop you from slipping away again. “If they keep running there’s no way we’re going to be able to help, so we just have to compromise.”

~

You knew that Jason was behind you. You could hear his careful footsteps, evenly spaced by his long strides as he tried to catch your attention. He was loitering outside of your room, trying to catch you as you left. It surprised you to see him as you peeled open the door. You had flashed him as much of a grin as you could muster up as he greeted you, trying to draw you into a one sided conversation that you were itching to get away from the moment it started. You tried to remind yourself that it was just Jason. That he wasn’t going to hurt you. But your mind still thought it was funny to play cruel tricks on you and soon you were making up a poor excuse and fleeing down the halls. 

You didn’t make it far though before you collided with a tall figure marching down the other end of the corridor, who braced his hands on your shoulders. Yelping at the unexpected contact you spun on your heel to turn back the way you came only for your breath to get stuck in your throat when you were met with the red of Jason’s shirt. When you backed up, you collided with the eldest vigilante again. Spinning around frantically, you searched for a way out. There was none. 

You were trapped. 

The thought consumed you quickly, dragging you down like a ton of bricks tied to your ankles until you were drowning in the thought of being imprisoned again. It was all you could think of. It screamed throughout your mind, pumped in your blood. It was nauseating. You could see the other two approaching and panic set into your already scrambled mind. You weaved, trying desperately to spot an exit but the two vigilantes were much bigger than you and their hefty frames took up most of the corridor. 

“No. No no no.” You rambled as your heart rate skyrocketed and your breathing came in sporadic, panicked gasps. 

Tim furrowed his brow. He didn’t think you would react like this. He reached out to grasp your forearms to ease your shaking body, but you nearly screamed, yanking your arms away from him and backing up against the wall. 

“Don’t touch me!” You stuttered, barely audible between your spiralling state. Fat, hot tears tracked along your face as you sunk to the ground to bury your face within your knees which you clutched to your chest. 

The four boys exchanged an anxious glance. 

“Y/N…”

“Please…” You gasped. “Stay away from me. I-I can’t anymore… no more. Please.”

“Y/N? What's wrong?” Dick queried. “Talk to us, please. We want to help.”

“No…” You whimpered. 

Damian squatted down beside you resting on the balls of his feet before reaching out slowly towards you, ignoring the warning glance that Jason sent his way, and placing it gently on your shoulder. 

Flinching, you squeezed your eyes shut. He could feel the way you trembled like a leaf under his touch but he didn’t let go.

“It’s just me Y/N. It’s Dami.”

You registered his words, but you still felt like you were back in that room. You allowed your body to relax just the smallest amount.

“It’s just us, kid. You’re okay.” Dick cooed. 

You sniffled. The four of them were crouched around you now.

“You can trust us.”

Your body tensed as you were hit with reminders of that night. The way he had led you away to commit his act of betrayal that would cut deeper than a thousand knives. 

“That’s what he said.” You hiccuped. 

“Who?” Tim asked tenderly. “Talk to us Y/N.”

You shook your head, biting down on your lip. You didn’t want to bring up the memory stuck in your mind. 

“Kid… we can’t help you if we don’t know what’s happening.”

“He- he… took me away from the crowds… He said to trust him- and I thought I could. B-but then he-” Your voice split into an unholy sob. 

“Oh..Y/N/N…” Dick said, suddenly understanding. 

“I can’t stop thinking about it. I can still feel him. Hear him. Just make it stop please!.” You begged, sobbing into your hands.”

“It’s okay. You’re safe.” He told you, reaching out gently to place a hand on your forearm, you tensed slightly but didn’t pull away. “We’re not going to let anyone hurt you. Ever.”

“We promise.”

You peeled your head away from your arms to reveal your bloodshot, teary eyes. From close up they could see how clearly the ordeal had taken a toll on you. Not just on your body but your mind too.

It took some convincing and a lot of gentle touches of reassurance to get you off of the floor, but the four of them managed to ease you back into your room. They refused to leave you alone after that. Insisting that at least one of them stay by your side at all times until you decided on your own terms that you were ready to take the next step in your recovery and stay the night alone. It was a slow process, but each small milestone made them extremely proud of you. They were there when you awoke suddenly in the middle of the night, crying and shaking, and they were there when you managed to move forwards too.  They were there to remind you that recovery isn’t linear, and that it was okay to move backwards. It’s all part of the process. The four of them showed you a different kind of gentleness that you had never seen before, and they tried their hardest to bring a smile to your face everyday. And it was their kindness that began to wash away those feelings. It was them who made you realise that you were loved, strong and would find your way back from the darkness and into the light.

[gglitch1dd]

After the Rain Pt1

Alpha Midoriya Izuku X Omega Reader

Context: It rained for over a week straight... and nothing was the same after that. With quirks gone, power gone and no structural order, who knows if your pack has what it takes to live on.

PLEASE NOTE: I HAVE ALREADY FINISHED THIS STORY. It's been posted on AO3 for MONTHS. I'm just posting it onto here as well.

Warning: OMEGAVERSE, children, dilf Izuku, SMUT, NSFW, Knotting, Glitch1d making Katsuki the most hateable character alive.

It had rained nonstop for a week.

Consistent worldwide thundershowers that had lasted longer than meteorologists had expected. Due to the intensity and the sheer amount of it, schools were cancelled, most people had to work from home and the railways had stopped for the time being as well. Everything was almost put on a standstill, all because of the rain.

The green haired Alpha shook his head as he stepped back into his home. Completely drenched from head to toe from the rain that fell hard outside. He was glad to finally be home, the house’s internal heating made him feel much better. Midoriya moved to grab the towel you had placed on the coat rack, moving it to dry his hair as he slipped off his shoes. He shivered, uncomfortable with the feeling of wet socks. Nothing was worse than wet socks. He grabbed a pair of the fluffy ones that you had kept at the entrance just for him. Swapping into the new pair of socks and home slippers, he moved deeper into the entrance hall but stopped at the sound of padded feet as his son ran over to him.

A little green haired pup, not older than five years old, came into view into the hallway. Toshinori ran over to his sire, wide sparkly emerald eyes looking up at him. “Daddy!” He whisper shouted up at the tall Alpha. He would have hugged him but then he remembered what his father had told him the previous day when he came back from work and how he could get hugs once his sire was nice and dry.

Midoriya chuckled as he bent down to Toshinori’s height. The little five-year-old pup was in sweatpants and a green hoodie. He would have hugged him but considering how wet his hero costume was, he thought against it. “Hey there little sprout. Why are we whispering?” He asked him with a whisper shout back.  

The little pup put a small hand to his mouth as he leaned forward closer to his father. “Dammy is talking to the news man.” He explained softly.

It took Midoriya a second before he let out a low chuckle as he dropped his head. He had forgotten that you had an interview with the press this evening before the seven o’clock news. He smiled as he stood up, offering his hand to his son. Toshinori’s small soft hand grabbed onto his finger as the two of them headed over to your dining table. You sat there with your laptop in front of you, that for-the-camera smile on your face as you laughed at something the presenter had said.

Midoriya glanced into the sitting room to notice a mini nest with three other pack pups watching the news with your face next to the presenter who was asking you questions. Midoriya motioned for his son to go sit with his friends. With a firm nod, Toshinori left, allowing Midoriya to walk over to you.

“Pack A has just been trying to survive this just like everybody else,” You spoke as you sat up in your chair. You were dressed warmly and comfortable. Sitting across from you was Denki who was playing your man in the chair for the time being. The blond Omega looked up at the sight of Midoriya, who gave him a wave as he slowly approached you, who was still unsuspecting of his presence. “Just trying to stay warm and stay safe. Safety is a big thing right now, which is why we are trying to encourage people to-”

“Stay in doors.” You turned your head back as two hands went to your shoulders as Midoriya moved to crouch beside you. Your eyes widened at the sight of your Alpha being home but you smiled.

“ProHero Deku.” The presenter said clearly just as shocked as you were for your husband to come on the air with you. “Good evening, it’s great to see you. Straight off of the streets, I see.” It was obvious he was straight off patrol, him still being in his hero uniform and his hair being a darker green due to the rain.

Midoriya let out an amused chuckle as he nodded. “It’s good to see you too, Johnny, and yes I am. As my beautiful Omega has said, safety should be everyone’s priority right now. There has been flood warnings the last couple of days so it is better to stay inside. Roads are dangerous and there have been reports of flooding already of low-lying areas. Any and all emergency needs or requirements can be logged into your friendly neighbourhood ProHero agency’s app and there should be a hero heading near you as quickly as possible, with the rain in mind.” You watched him as he spoke always so professionally and yet with an air of confidence as if he knew everything would be alright. He was always so calming that way. He turned to look at you, a gentle smile on his face at the sight of your eyes on him. “Sorry I’m leaving a mess in the house, love.” He apologised, a hand rubbing your neck languidely as a sign of apology.

You smiled and shrugged it off. You reached up to his face, moving some curls away from his eyes and back. “It’s fine, I’ll get it. You, Mr Alpha, should go take a shower before you catch a cold.” You told him with a pointed look, knowing how you would have to nurse him back to health and tear him away from his work in order to do so.

He nodded and placed a kiss to your mating mark, not minding the public display of affection. He stood up and gave a small wave to the camera. “Bye Johnny!” He waved before leaving the room to head upstairs.

You chuckled as you turned to look back at the laptop, a beaming look about you. It was the perfect image to send to the media. The perfectly happy couple, the Number One Hero and he’s supportive and happy Omega wife representing peace and safety. Exactly what the commission needed from the both of you right now. “What he said, Johnny.” You motioned to the direction in which your husband disappeared to.

“I couldn’t agree more. Thank you so much for your time, Mrs Midoriya. There you have it folks, from the Number One couple themselves. Stay warm, stay safe, stay dry.”

You carefully dried the dishes as your husband washed them. You watched as little pups moved around putting toys away or attempting to wipe clean the table. You had all just had dinner with the guests of two pack pups with your family of three (Denki having taken Haiden with him back home). Satomi waddled over to you, holding her finished bowl of curry-udon up to you. “I’m finished.” She let out with wide ruby eyes and a smile on her face. “Thank you.”

You chuckled as you put down the cup you had in your hands and threw the towel over your shoulder. You bent down and took the bowl from her. “Thank you, Satomi.” You let out appreciatively. You handed it over to your husband before moving to grab a kitchen paper towel and wipe her mouth clean. She closed her eyes as you carefully wiped her soft chubby cheeks, her never really losing that baby fat to her face. You made sure her hands were clean too, using another damp towel to wipe her hands clean. As you did so, the little pup let out a purr at being groomed and cleaned up, making you purr back in response. Once you were done, you gave her cheeks a little squeeze before throwing away the paper towel.

She followed after you as she watched you work with Midoriya in drying and putting away the dishes. Although Satomi wasn’t your pup, often than not she followed you like she was your shadow. You weren’t sure whether it was because she liked your company, you were her best friend’s mother or she just liked to do it, but you didn’t mind. She was the little daughter you didn’t have yet, so you treated her as such. She followed you around making sure not to get in the way as you moved around the kitchen.

Midoriya watched with an amused smile. He lifted up a clean plastic cup from the water before turning to Satomi. “You want to dry this and put it away for me, please?” He asked her.

Her ruby eyes widened in excitement in wanting to help. She nodded her head as she took the cup and walked over to you. You handed her the cloth to dry the cup, watching her stick her hand in the cup and try and make sure it was dry everywhere. Once she did that, she handed the cloth back to you. “Thank you.” She ran over to the cupboard with all the pup cutlery and put it where it belonged, stacking it with the others.

Right as you were about to continue to put away another one of the bowls, you heard the sliding door open. You and Midoriya both paused before leaning over to see Kirishima and Bakugou enter your home. Both wet from the rain, although Bakugou was heavily covered in a rain jacket making him look like an eskimo.

Kirishima shook his head, allowing water droplets to fall everywhere. Peaking into the hallway down to where Kirishima and Bakugou were, was Kane and Toshinori, the two boys peaking over the corner. Kane brightened up at the sight of his parents. “Dad! Poppa!” He let out excitedly as he raced over to them.

Bakugou pushed back his hood as the blond boy approached him. The blond boy reached up to him, making Bakugou swoop him up into his arms. “Deku!” He barked as he moved towards the kitchen. The blond Omega placed a kiss on Kane’s cheek making the pup chirp in happiness as he was carried along with his dam. “Why the hell are you encouraging the public to make stupid requests into the hero apps?”

Midoriya took his hands out of the water as you passed him the cloth you had. “Well good evening to you too, Kacchan.” Midoriya greeted sarcastically as he moved to fold his arms over his chest as he walked over to the blond-haired Omega. He leaned against the counter, keeping his distance from Bakugou. Toshinori walked over to stand with his sire, looking up at him inquisitively, holding onto his leg as the two chatted.

As the two of them started to bicker you noticed Satomi run over to her sire, her poofy dress moving with her. She reached up to him needily with a pup whine. Kirishima chuckled as he reached down and pulled her up into his warm large arms, despite the rain. He opened his jacket and slipped her into the pup carrier he was wearing underneath. She happily snuggled her face into his warm shirt. “Hello, princess.” He greeted, placing a kiss on her head. “Were you good for Aunty Y/N and Uncle Deku?”

She nodded her head of soft black hair, looking up at him. “Yes, Daddy.” She smiled, making the Alpha’s scent increase just from her smile. She leaned her head against him. “Missed you.” She rubbed her face trying to scent him back, making a loud rumble come from his chest

You walked over to them with a smile. “Evening Head Alpha,” You greeted with a bow of your head, remaining respectful to the leader of Pack A.

Kirishima, the handsome man he was, kept a hand on Satomi as he smiled at you, an undertone of something else that you were used to seeing in his eyes. It had never really truly left after third year of UA, not that you cared. He made his choice and that wasn’t you. “Y/N. I hope Satomi and Kane weren’t too much for you.”

You shook your head stepping forward. “Of course, not.” You put a hand to Satomi’s cheeks, pinching her little cheeks making her chirp. You smiled at the cute sound. “They were perfect. You know I don’t mind looking after the pups.”

He watched as his young little daughter smiled, happy at the attention she was receiving. “Yah…” He turned his attention back to you, ruby eyes looking at you intently, a gentle smile on his face. “That’s what makes you so perfect, huh?”

Perfect.

Once upon a time you were perfect and yet he still didn’t choose you. You swallowed down not at the question but at the pressure you felt behind you. You could feel your Alpha’s eyes on you. You stepped back dropping your hand from Satomi. Toshinori ran over to you from his father, looking up at you as he stepped forward to wrap his arms around your leg, positioning himself in front of you. He glared up at Kirishima, always being his father’s little silent proxy. You chuckled putting a hand to his head, trying to ease the pup who didn’t even know why he was glaring at his Head Alpha. “Well, Izuku seems to think so.” You teased lightly with a giggle, making Kirishima’s smile tense as you turned to your Alpha who was staring at you. You always did turn to him.

“-shifts for tomorrow?”

Midoriya glanced back at Bakugou straightening up with a heavy breath. He scratched the back of his head. “It’s my day off luckily.” Midoriya revealed as he glanced between you and the blond Omega. Bakugo’s eyebrows furrowed as he noticed Midoriya’s eyes were on you rather than him. It irked him. He opened his mouth to speak. “Either way, we better put Toshinori to bed.” He spoke as he stepped forward looking over to his son who had his arms wrapped around one of your legs. He smiled as he motioned over to the five year old boy. “Toshi, come on bud, let’s get you to bed.” He spoke over to his son.

Toshinori looked to his father with wide eyes and a whine from his mouth. He frowned. “What? But I’m not sleepy.” He whined.

You put a hand to Toshinori’s head of curly unruly green hair, taking his attention. “Come on, Toshi. Listen to your father, okay?” You watch your son pout, but he nods his head understandingly as he moves over to his sire.

Bakugou walked over to you, pausing as he allowed for the quirkless green haired pup to walk past him. He watched with a critical red eye before flicking his gaze to you. Although quirkless, Midoriya Toshinori’s birth was one of great celebration in Japan. The Hero Commission had praised it as a borderline miracle especially when found out that Toshinori was quirkless. The boy, they called him. The son of the practical prince of Japan. Son of the Number One hero and future wielder of One for All and Symbol of Peace and Justice. Despite being just as quirkless as his father was years ago, Toshinori was praised for his short comings.

Bakugou could never understand how such a thing could be praised.

He adjusted Kane in his arms, moving to face you. “So Y/N, you wouldn’t mind taking care of them tomorrow, right?” He asked, a tense smile on his face with a pointed look. A smile that told you that he meant anything and everything mean about what he was about to say. “You haven’t been back on the job in a while so, you must be used to it.”

You knew it was a jab to you, you weren’t stupid. However, with the pups around, you would rather not argue and speak out on what he had just said to you. You forced a smile on your face. “Of course.” You let out softly. A large hand moves to the back of your neck. You feel your Alpha’s presence calm you as he moves to stand beside you, gently massaging your scent glands. Midoriya moved to stand behind you, a warning glare to Bakugou. You let out a breath but continued. “Satomi is still struggling with reading still but Kane seems fine. We can still work on that. Their kindergarten teacher, Miss T gave them some reading books to practice with till school starts again.”

Bakugou grinned. “Great, you do that.” He turned around, heading to the sliding door with Kane in his arms. “My son is so smart. Good job, Kane.” He praised as he ruffled the blond hair of his son, making Kane beam at the praise he got from his dam. Bakugou paused as he looked to Satomi. The small girl shrunk closer to her sire, a small look of apprehension as she brought her hands closer to her body at the harsh crimson glare. Bakugou’s gaze didn’t ease. “I thought you said you were practicing your reading, Satomi.”

“I…” Her voice was quiet as she looked away from her step-dam. “I… I am trying but-”

“Try harder.” He opened the sliding door, holding Kane tightly as they stepped outside into the rain.

Kirishima moved his jacket to hide a sad Satomi from the rain. He waved over to you guys in goodbye before leaving the house.

You sat in bed, doing some light reading as the rain was light against the window, surprising you mostly as it was the lightest it had been in days. The only light on in your bedroom was on your bedside table.

Midoriya entered your shared bedroom, closing the door behind him. You looked up at your Alpha who walked slowly towards you, long pyjama pants hung loosely on his hips. You smiled up at him, closing your book. “Asleep?” You asked.

He nodded as he moved to sit down on your side. “Yep. Took two stories but it worked.” He told you making you giggle. Toshinori had a way of coercing the both of you into doing almost anything and everything for him to sleep. You found him similar to his father in that way. You then noticed that Midoriya had his eyebrows furrowed and slight anger in his brows.

You set down your book and moved over to him. You placed a hand onto his shoulder looking at him with concern in your eyes. “My love? What troubles you?”

“Y/N… if I see Eijiro look at you like that again-” You started to giggle realising the reason behind his anger. He was angry but also so very green. Your Alpha gave you a pointed look. “Y/N, I’m serious.”

“I know, I know.” You giggled, making him just pout at your laughter. You let out a sigh as you leaned against his arm, closing your eyes as you allowed your body to soak in the heat he radiated. It was on such rainy days you loved to sit with your husband like this. “Izuku, I would never even entertain Kirishima Eijiro even if given the chance.” His eyebrows raised slightly as he watched you say that with your eyes closed in somewhat content as you held onto him. “He chose Katsuki to be his head Omega, not me. He is not my Alpha nor an Alpha I desire. I haven’t desired him in over a decade, Izuku. I don’t want him, nor could he make me want him. I’d much rather have…” Your hands moved up his arm as you leaned into him, wrapping your arms around Midoriya’s neck. “My deviously handsome…” Midoriya tried not to smile but failed as you placed a kiss to his jaw. “Strong, brave, big, intelligent- you know you are so intelligent Izuku, it’s a turn on watching you talk.” A chuckle rumbled out of his chest but he continued to rumble as you placed kisses on his face. You reached over and angled his face to look at you. You smiled. “I’d rather have my handsome Alpha, my husband, the sire of my pups and many more to come, Midoriya Izuku, over any man in the world.” You told him honestly with a smile on your face. You brushed your fingers on his face, looking at him like he was the only man in the world for you.

He smiled, moving a hand up the middle of your shirt before moving his large hand to wrap around your neck, thick large fingers holding you securely. Your eyes fluttered as you felt your stomach do a flip. Midoriya smirked, always knowing how to get your Omega weak for him. His thumb rubbed at your jaw as he felt a purr erupt from your chest. “My beautiful Tsubaki.” He praised. “I do not deserve you.”  He leaned down and placed a kiss to your lips. You allowed him to kiss you, letting out a breath as you did so. He always had a way of sucking all the breath from your lungs.

You let out a low moan against his lips as you pushed against him, wanting more of him, all of him against you. Midoriya easily moved his hand to your back, pulling you closer to him as he squeezed you tighter. You couldn’t help but wrap your arms around his neck. With just your bodies together, although clothed you could always feel the passion that burned for you within him. He groaned as he bit on your bottom lip. With a whimper you allowed him into your mouth, allowing him to dominate you with is tongue inside you. A rush of desire went down your spine knowing how this will turn out. Heated make out sessions always turned into him balls deep inside you.

You gasped as you moved back, your foreheads together as you breathed heavily. Midoriya let out another rumble as a hand moved up your thigh pushing up one of his oversized shirts that you wore, lightly. “May I?” He asked you with a heavy breath, asking your permission before pouncing on you.

You nodded, with a smirk. You pushed yourself backwards, falling back onto the pillows and blankets that were underneath you. You leaned back, pulling up the shirt you were wearing to reveal more of your body to him, bare and without any underwear. You spread your thighs for him, already showing how wet you were with just his kisses and hold on you. You looked up at him with a sultry look, pinching at your nipples. You gave a slight wiggle to your body trying to seduce the Alpha in front of you.

And seduced he was.

Midoriya didn’t hesitate to practically jump forward, mouth first into your sex. You giggled at his excitement but let out low moans as you felt him lick up your sticky cunt. He wrapped his arms around your legs, wanting to just bury himself in your sweetness. Midoriya was a simple Alpha who took pleasures in the simple things.

Licking his wife’s pussy was one of them.

He hummed at the taste, sticking his tongue inside you, feeling the way you squeeze him. You whined at the action but moved a hand down to thread through his green hair. You let out a pleasured hum as you allowed him to pleasure you, watching as he seemed to always find such enjoyment in your own pleasure.

Dark green eyes looked up at you, licking straight up your sex and flicking at your clit making you shiver. His lips wrapped around your clit sucking at the sensitive nub making you whine as you closed your eyes. It felt good to have your Alpha all to yourself like this. You hadn’t had sex in a few days and it had been killing you to be away from him physically like this. No Omega should be deprived of their Alpha. Of course, Midoriya was busy with hero work and Japan couldn’t save itself with ongoing floods and rains heavy enough to seep into houses, but it was a relief having him to yourself again.

You keened, just wanting him to force your knees to your shoulders and fuck into you already. He looked up at that desperate look in your eyes. He squeezed your thighs in reassurance as a chuckle erupted from his chest. He lifted his mouth off your clit but his fingers made their way inside you, giving you something bigger to stretch around.

“Be patient, Y/N.” The statement had you grumbling. He smirked as he moved his other hand over your exposed stomach over to your breasts.

You let out a low hum and purr as you felt a deep massage to your left breast. You smiled blissfully happy at the feeling of stimulation at your chest and to your sex. A low rumble left his chest at how happy and relaxed you looked. Midoriya always prioritised your happiness and comfortability, but most of all, he loved seeing you feel good at his hands. Whether it be something innocent or soft, or something more like this. It made him happy to know that as your Alpha he was doing right by you.

He admired your body, your body that he had watched silently through the years after UA and on the field, then as he courted you, then as you were married and the body that gave him his first pup. To be honest, it was the sexist you had ever looked in his eyes.

You opened your eyes as you squeezed around his fingers, feeling on the cusp of an orgasm. You looked up at him, deep green eyes stuck on your entire being, almost hypnotised by you as he stared down at you with more love than lust in his eyes. You felt a flush go over your face as you shuffled a bit. “What’s that for?” You asked softly.

Midoriya pulled out his fingers from inside you but moved to pull off his pants. He grabbed onto your thighs as he shuffled in front of you, positioning himself between your legs so that you wouldn’t move from your comfortable space on your pillow. He smiled. “You look beautiful, that’s all.”

You looked away from him, trying not to allow the butterflies that still fluttered in your tummy at the way he looked at you to start a hurricane. You felt like you didn’t hold a candle to him. He was still sculpted like a Greek statue, God having taken the time to perfectly outline the man he became. Large thick strong muscles with scattered scars showing how much he had done to protect this country. Not to mention the beautiful thick cock of his (which upon courting, you found out that that was the one place where he didn’t have freckles). 

You didn’t feel as fit or as gorgeous as you once were when you were still a hero, when you were still keeping in shape and running after villains every day. You had gained weight since motherhood and as much as you tried keeping in shape, it wasn’t the same.

“Omega…” You felt Midoriya’s fingers, slowly tilt your head to look up at him. A sincere look on his face as he looked down at you. His green jade eyes seemed to only have you in his vision. He slowly moved to pull off the shirt you still had bunched up and threw it to the side. “You’re beautiful.” He spoke genuinely. “The most beautiful person I’ve ever seen in my life. I told you that in third year and I’ll tell you that now and I’ll tell you that in fifty years time.” You closed your eyes, letting tears bead up at the corner of your eyes. You felt a soft kiss move down to your lips.

You kissed him back, wrapping your arms around his neck, holding onto him like he was the only thing that mattered to you right now. You separated from him with a gasp as you felt the head of his cock push into your plush folds. You turned your head into the crook of his neck with a whimper as he pushed inside of you, the stretch, even now, still felt so good. A rumble came out of your Alpha as he stayed on top of you, kissing your head gently as he pushed all the way in. A low groan followed out of his lips as he kept out whispers of sweet nothings into your ear.

You took a moment just to enjoy the feeling of the two of you slotted together. Alpha and Omega. Husband and wife. Together like this. It was something so primal, so deep in biology itself and yet it was something you were so addicted to. You let out a shaky breath but nodded your head, opening your eyes. Midoriya moved to look down at you. You nodded your head as you locked gazes. Slowly Midoriya moved one hand to hold onto your hips as he pulled back before pushing in forward again. A low moan left your lips as you relaxed in his old.

He moved methodically with you, a built-up pace that was perfect for you right now and the warm atmosphere you were in. Your scents floated around the both of you, sweet smell of slick and sex. You sucked in a breath every time you felt the head of his cock hit deep inside you. The feeling was perfect, almost dizzying.

Your breaths were heavy as you looked up at him. Your eyes filled with lust and adoration for the Alpha on top of you that was taking you. “Alpha,” You let out sweetly. “Harder.” Midoriya complied with a grunt, moving faster and harder within you. The grip he had on you was tight as he used your body to his leverage. Your eyes closed as a shiver ran your back. “Yes… yes, Izuku. Just like that.” You whimpered.

His large hands moved to grip onto your hips with bruising strength as he made work of now slapping you onto his cock, the lewd squelch of your cunt making his head spin. Your velvety soft walls were wrapped around him so snuggly that it made him hold back a groan. “Oh fuck.” He groaned as he focused on fucking into you.

His pace increased and soon you felt like you could barely breathe. In and out, rhythmically enough that you were sure you could create music with your bodies. You could feel him deep inside you, in places that only his cock could reach, and you couldn’t even feel that good by yourself if you tried. A cry stumbled out of your lips as your body jostled underneath him. You were in bliss as you tried chasing after that orgasm. You moved your body to meet his thrusts, loving the feeling of your sticky bodies together and the shape, of his cock inside you.

Your eyes rolled back as you felt a well-aimed thrust right near your cervix. “Alpha!” You gasped as you arched your back, lifting off the bed. He reached a large hand underneath you, to hold your back up. He growled as he felt you tighten around his cock. “Good Omega. Good fucking Omega, cum around my cock just like that.” He talked you through it as an orgasm wrecked through your body.

You were shivering in ecstasy, your eyes rolled back as your voice was lost to the waves of pleasure. He grinned as he fucked you through it, hard and fast. You gasped with a whine, your cunt spasming around his cock as you looked down at the place where the two of you were joined.

“Yah you like that don’t you?” He moved to tilt your head up to look at him, dark curls covering his face as dark emerald eyes were locked onto you with little to no consequence. “Answer me, you like it when I fuck into you like this? Yah?”

You nodded your head stupidly as you stared up at him, your mind empty with no thoughts other than the pleasure he was giving you and your bodies joined together. “Yah.”

A deep chuckle stumbled out of his chest as he kept you looking up at him. “You think you can make your Alpha cum, hm? Make me cum.”

Not being able to wait to please him, you slid off his cock and moved over onto your hands and knees. You bent down, your chest down to the sheets below you to present before him as he slid back into your warm moist cunt. A groan stumbled out of your Alpha’s lips, his eyes closed at the stimulating feeling of being inside you. You made quick work of moving your ass back to meet his pelvis, lewd slaps filling the room as you were so desperate to make him cum. A low rumble escaped his chest as he looked down at you as you fucked yourself onto his cock.

He moved his large hand to rest on your ass, a low rumble out of his chest. “Good Omega. You want my cum inside you, don’t you? You want it all in your womb, is that is? Is that why you’re whining like a little slut?” You couldn’t help but whine and beg for the cum that had given you your first pup already.

You could feel his knot growing as it got harder for you to push yourself up and down his length. You let out a struggled whimper as you tried. Midoriya let out a growl, he was growing restless as he gripped your ass hard and fucked into you like a fleshlight. You let out a shocked squeak before a moan tumbled out of your lips. He was reduced to low growls and grunts as he continued to pound into you erratically, his knot thickening and growing.

Finally, he thrusted his knot inside you, making you mewl in delight. A groan left your Alpha as he came inside you, making a shiver run down your back. Nothing was more delightful than feeling him cum inside you, filling you to the brim and keeping you satiated on his cock. You closed your eyes as you leaned back against him with a low purr, pushing his knot deeper inside you. Midoriya let out a low croon but massaged your lower back.

You felt him bend forward and kiss the nape of your neck, making you smile. You turned your head to meet his lips, kissing him back. Midoriya let out a pleasured hum as he moved his hands over to your slightly distended stomach, moving his hands up your body to pinch your nipples. You whined as you felt his mouth go to your scent glands, licking at your mark before biting. A yelp left your mouth but you also moaned, relaxing more against him as you felt one of his calloused fingers move down to your clit, the other massaging and groping your breast.

And in all this, you both didn’t notice that the rain was getting lighter.

-Glitch1d

[reluctant-sissies]

Beach Playdate

"Oh look at them together! Like two pink peas in a pod!"

"So cute! I'm so glad we managed to arrange this! It's so hard to find play-dates when your son is twenty - well twenty going on two!"

"Oh I know it, Tommy's been kept as a baby girl since he turned eighteen, and he barely gets to meet anyone his new age."

"And I never get to meet another mommy like me. it's going to be good to compare notes."

"Totally! So you're keeping Bobby fully as a baby girl?"

"One hundred percent! He's living 24/7 as a eighteen-month-old girl. And the girliest baby girl you can imagine! This swimsuit is one of his least elaborate outfits!"

"Oh Tommy's just the same! He was surprised when I dressed him in something so simple this morning. And the swim diaper of course, much less poofy than his usual diapees!"

"So he's happy using diapers full time? Bobby made such a fuss, at first."

"Well 'happy' is too strong a word. He's pretty upset by it all, but I think he knows deep down it's for the best. He was never going to cut it as a man."

"Neither was Bobby! I laughed the first time he said he wanted to have a girlfriend. Can you imagine!?"

"Ha, of course not! But… judging by the way they're holding hands right now…"

"… maybe this will be the first of many play-dates?"

"Maybe! Would you like that Tommy? If you want to take out your paci for a little while and play kissy-kiss your new friend, mommy will allow it!"

[justagalwhowrites]

Yearling - Ch. 27: Found

You try to figure out what you want. Joel and Ellie go on patrol.A continuation of Yearling ch. 1-26 found on Tumblr here.

Pairing: Joel Miller x Female Reader

Warnings: Angst. CLEARLY. It's me. Homophobia. Smut-adjacent. No use of Y/N. Minors DNI 18+ Only 

Length: 11.3k (THIS IS GETTING TO BE A PROBLEM I'M SO SORRY)

AO3 | Chapter One | Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

Late August, 2027 

“You’re making this hard on purpose,” Ellie’s nose scrunched as she held her guitar. 

You laughed. 

“Promise, Kiddo, I’m not.” 

“Sometimes I really don’t like you, you know,” she grumbled. You snorted. “I’m serious! Swear you make me do shit the hard way because you fucking enjoy watching me struggle…” 

“You learn better when you do it yourself and do it the hard way,” you shrugged, leaning back against a post of your porch. You stretched a leg out onto the step below and picked a little at your guitar. “You’ll never learn if I just give you all the answers.” 

“Yeah yeah,” she muttered, leaning to the side to add more of her disorganized scrawl to her notebook. “Swear you didn’t have to work this hard at shit…” 

“I started a lot younger than you,” you replied, picking up the pace on your guitar and adding slaps and pops, no real rhyme or reason to it, just what your fingers felt like doing. “Everything is easier when you start young. And hey, you’ve got a leg up on any asshole who tries to learn when they’re my age.” 

“Because you’re a dinosaur?” She looked up at you from her notebook, a small smirk on her face. 

“Nah,” you replied. “They’d been dead like three years when I was born, I’m not THAT old.” 

She laughed and went back to her notes as you kept playing, looking out down the path from your yard to the road beyond. 

It was sweltering hot and you’d never been more thankful for a breeze or the fact that it was your day off from the stables. The hair that had pulled loose from your braids stuck to your skin and you’d been sweating all day, waking up with your sheets balled up at the foot of your bed and your tank top damp even with the ceiling fan on. You hadn’t even put on jeans that day, throwing on one of the few dresses that had made their way into your closet in the almost two years you’d been in Jackson. The first you’d taken when Maria mentioned seeing one she thought would fit you, not long before things fell apart with Joel. You’d intended to wear it to the Tipsy Bison on a night there was dancing once it was warmer, opening the door to Joel when you were dressed like what your mother would call “a proper lady.” You’d pictured dancing with him, his hand sliding up the inside of your thigh when you sat down to have a drink until you couldn’t take it anymore and you practically dragged him home, riding him with the skirt bunched up around your waist the second you were in the door. 

That had never happened. That dress stayed tucked safely away at the back of your closet, not able to bring yourself to part with it and the image of that night with him. 

The other dress was perfect for days like today, long and loose and thin cotton that made the oppressive heat of late summer tolerable. Even if Ellie had looked at you like you had two heads when she saw you in the damn thing. 

You didn’t mind, though. You were just glad that you had gotten to the point that you liked spending time with Ellie again. That you’d started feeling much of anything at all. 

The first month you got back was hazy. You didn’t really leave your house at first, not able to contribute much at the stable and not seeing a reason to move otherwise. 

You weren’t entirely sure how many days passed before there was the first knock at your door. 

It wasn’t an Ellie knock. The sound didn’t carry her chaotic energy or almost audacious nature. Instead, it was hesitant but sturdy and firm without being forceful or insistent. You stayed flat on your back, staring up at the ceiling of the closet for a minute to see if the knock would come again. It didn’t. You stared at the ceiling a while longer but, eventually, you had to pee. You forced yourself to move and, on your way back from the bathroom, passed your front door. You hesitated for a moment before you went and opened it, to see if whoever knocked had left a note. 

On your porch was a box filled with crackers and jerky and fruit and carrots and celery. All things you could eat without needing to cook or, really, do anything at all. You knew it was from Joel, even though it hadn’t sounded like his knock, either. There was no one else who would have brought it because no one else knew why you were locked inside your home. But he was no where to be seen. He didn’t leave a note. 

A few days later, you forced yourself to go to the stable to check on the horses. The fillies and the colt weren’t making much progress without you - you’d have to probably start nearly from scratch with them once your arm healed - but you were able to feel somewhat useful, brushing horses down, checking on their hooves to see when they’d need to be shoed, just giving them some love and attention. That helped you feel a little more like yourself. 

Ellie started coming by again a few days after that. She showed up one afternoon with a CD and a sandwich from the mess hall, marching into your living room like nothing had happened, complaining about another kid in town and how Joel wasn’t going to let her patrol with anyone but him for a while. 

“I could get partnered with Dina but no,” she drew the last word out, sprawled on your couch, rolling her eyes as she did. “The old man is convinced I’m going to drop dead if he’s not looking out for me for five minutes…” 

“I’m sure he’ll ease up once he sees how capable you are,” you said, sitting on the loveseat and picking up the CD case she’d brought with her. The Clash this time. “Mick Jones and Joe Strummer, nice choice. Why do you want to go out with Dina, anyway? I thought not everything was about girls…” 

“Shut up.” 

“Nah.” 

You were’t sure if you were really doing better or if you’d just found a way to push the hurt down inside yourself again. You weren’t sure there was a way to recover from this, from the idea that you’d probably never see your child again. Clinging to the possibility felt so necessary but so foolish. You weren’t sure if it was reason or denial but it didn’t really matter. You weren’t sure you could live without that possibility dulling the jagged edges of your grief and pain. 

The boxes of food made regular appearances on your porch. You never saw Joel. 

When you were close to getting your cast off, Ellie came by your house but didn’t shove her way inside the way she usually did. Instead, she hovered on your porch. 

“OK don’t be mad,” she said, a serious look on her face. 

“Off to a great start,” you replied.

She glared at you for a second before pressing on. 

“Joel sent me with a message,” she said. “He wanted me to tell you that the movie tonight was something called Ever After and that he thought you would like it and that he wasn’t going to be there so you should go. And to not be mad. I think you shouldn’t be mad, too, by the way.” 

“Not mad,” you smiled a little. “I just… I don’t know…” 

“Come on, Bambi,” Ellie said, dropping some of her pretense now. “Dina’s going with Jesse and I’ve never seen it and I really don’t want to be stuck sitting by them while they suck face.” 

You sighed, looking back over your shoulder in the direction of Joel’s house. You found yourself looking that way a lot. 

“Alright,” you said after a moment, looking back at Ellie. “I’ll go. But only to save you from your crush…” 

“I’m going to ignore that last part and just be happy you’re going,” she said, a little smug. “Even though you’re annoying about it.” 

“So annoying,” you agreed, stepping into your boots, turning on the lamp and following her out the door. 

It was strangely easy to adjust to being around the people of Jackson again. Ellie gave you something to focus on, busy trying to distract her from the Dina and Jesse acting exactly like you remembered some of your friends in high school acted with their boyfriends. 

“What’s this movie about, anyway?” Ellie asked as the two of you settled in toward the back of the room. 

“It’s been a long time since I’ve seen it,” you said. “But I think it was like Cinderella.” 

Ellie looked at you and made a face. 

“Like the fairy tale.” 

“Yup,” you replied. She stared at you and you laughed a little. “What?” 

“I’m just trying to picture you liking a fucking fairy tale.” 

You rolled your eyes and crossed your arms as best you could with one in a cast. 

“What?” She teased. “Don’t tell me you like some stupid story where love solves everyone’s problems…” 

“What’s wrong with that?” Julie, the woman you’d seen a few times at the Tipsy Bison and when she went out on patrol, appeared alongside Ellie, a large bowl of popcorn in her hands. 

“It’s bullshit,” Ellie said. “There’s a reason they’re stories for little kids.” 

“Maybe you just haven’t loved that way yet,” she smiled a little before nodding to the chair on the other side of you. “Seat taken?” 

You hoped you didn’t just stare at her for too long. People didn’t just talk to you in Jackson, not without a reason, let alone try to sit by you. You weren’t entirely sure what to do with it.

“All yours,” you said, tugging your legs in close so she could pass you and sit down. She settled in beside you and smiled, holding out the bowl. 

“Thanks,” she said. “Popcorn?” 

“Sure,” you said after a moment, taking some with your good hand. “Thank you.” 

“Course,” she smiled a little bigger in a lopsided, almost cocky way. “What’s the point of popcorn if you don’t share it?” 

The movie was good. You’d only seen it once or twice before the outbreak but you’d liked it then, too. Cinderella was smart and capable, the prince was handsome and kind and you liked to imagine the way life was in that period of time. 

“OK so that wasn’t terrible,” Ellie said as you headed out with her and Julie. 

“Told you,” you teased a little. 

“No one told me that sometimes the girls in fairy tales got to be badasses,” she replied. “I might have liked the stories more then!” 

“The girls are always badasses,” Julie said. “They just try to hide it, scares the men otherwise.” 

Ellie snorted. 

“Sounds right.” 

You reached Joel’s. There was a light on in his living room and you felt the familiar tug in you to go inside and join him. Just let yourself in the front door and settle in like it was yours. 

“I’m gonna go tell the old man that his taste in movies isn’t totally awful,” Ellie said, heading up the front walk. “Still want help tomorrow at the stable?” 

“Stalls ain’t gonna muck themselves,” you replied and held up your still healing arm. “And this isn’t much help.” 

“Ugh,” she groaned good naturedly. “Night!” 

You watched until she made it to the front door - not that the precaution was really necessary here but it made you feel better - and you turned to Julie, your good hand stuffed in your pocket. 

“I’m that way and to the left,” you said. “So…” 

“Mind if I join you?” She asked. “Nice night, figure I’ll take the scenic route.” 

You looked at her for a moment. 

“Sure,” you shrugged. “Not much to see though.” 

“See, that’s where you’re wrong,” she smiled one of those lopsided smiles and fell into step beside you, walking a little slower than you and you slowed down to match her pace. You looked ahead. “So, how’ve you been doing? Don’t see you at the Bison much anymore.” 

“Fine,” you shrugged. “Just haven’t felt like going out.” You looked over at her and had the passing thought that she was pretty. Young, with long, dark hair and bright eyes and full lips.“How about you?” 

“Oh you know,” she waved you off. “Same old, same old. The berries are coming into season though, have you been to check out the orchards and stuff?” 

“I’ve ridden past them,” you said. “Haven’t exactly spent time there, though.” 

“You should!” She brightened at that, even more than she already was. The two of you came to a stop at your front walk. “Think you’d like it. You should come with me sometime, it’d be fun.” 

“Yeah, maybe,” you smiled a little tightly. “This is me, so…” 

“Nice place,” she smiled back, looking more genuine than yours felt. “Well, whenever you want to check it out, let me know. Hope to see you around.” 

“You too,” you said, standing there awkwardly for a moment before turning and heading up the walk and into your house. 

You went to the mess hall the next morning for breakfast. Dinner, too. And soon, your cast was off and you were going there for most meals, even if it was just to grab something to bring home or go to the stables. The food boxes stopped showing up on your porch. 

Instead, you’d come back from the stables and find new guitar strings waiting for you there or a CD that you didn’t have or a copy of Titanic on VHS, the one that took two tapes and you had to get up halfway through to change it. 

You’d told Joel he should move on. You weren’t sure if you really wanted him to - you doubted you’d be able to stomach seeing him with someone else - but you didn’t want him to be alone, either. You didn’t want to drag him down with you just because you couldn’t separate his past from your own. 

“OK so I think I have it,” Ellie said, pulling you out of your head and making your fingers still. “Can you look?” 

She shoved the notebook your way and you leaned over your guitar to look at it, fingering the chords but not playing them. 

“Yeah,” you said after a minute. “I think that’s probably closer to what you’re looking for, give it a go.” 

You pushed the notebook back towards her and she set her guitar on her lap, adjusting it for a second before playing it. You nodded along, watching as she scrunched her face, getting more and more frustrated before she groaned. 

“That’s not right either,” she leaned her head back on the post at her back. “Song writing shouldn’t be this hard. This is bullshit.” 

“The shit that’s worth doing is hard, kid,” you shrugged. “Why don’t you try thinking about it again for a minute. Do you want it to feel urgent or slow and confident? Both are strong but they’re going to have different vibes.” 

She sighed and closed her eyes. 

“I don’t know.” 

“Well,” you shrugged, settling back with your guitar. “Figure out how you’re feeling and what you want the song to say about it. It’ll come to you.” 

You went back to playing as Ellie picked her notebook back up, gnawing on the end of her pen. 

“I didn’t know you played!” 

You stopped and your head shot up from its place on the post to see Julie standing at the end of your walk, her hands in the pockets of her shorts, her thick hair piled on top of her head, her arms looking sculpted and strong in her tank top. 

“Sorry,” she laughed. “Didn’t mean to scare you. Can I come up?” 

“Um…” 

“Sure!” Ellie said before you had a chance to really think about it. Julie reached over the short fence and unlatched the gate before opening it and coming up to your porch, sitting on the bottom step so she was looking up at you and Ellie. 

“Didn’t know there was a guitar club in town,” she said, folding one leg into her chest and looping her arms around her shin. “Don’t stop on my account! What song was that?” 

“Oh, that wasn’t anything,” you said, running your fingers up and down the neck of the guitar. “Just… fidgeting, really.” 

“Yeah, Bambi is fucking awesome,” Ellie said. “Best guitar player in town, easy.” 

“Ellie,” you gave her a look but she ignored you. 

“Seriously, you name it and she can probably play it,” she said. “She knows so much about music it’s insane.” 

“Not really,” you cut her off. “I just like music so I learned about what I liked, that’s all…” 

“Oh bullshit,” Ellie rolled her eyes. “She’s a human juke box, try her.” 

“Do you mind?” Julie asked, looking at you with her brows raised. Her eyes were bright green and almost sharp. 

“As long as you’re prepared to be disappointed,” you shrugged. “I can try.” 

Ellie scoffed and Julie ignored her. 

“I remember this song from when I was a kid, just before the outbreak,” she said. “It actually took me a while to track down the name of it after and you might think it’s silly but… I’m With You? Know that one?” 

You smiled a little. 

“I know that one,” you said, settling the guitar on your lap. “Haven’t tried to play it before, though. Avril’s not really my wheelhouse, so… go easy on me.” 

You couldn’t remember exactly how the song started but you remembered the chorus and you remembered a verse from there. The music just trailed off at the end, not really remembering how the song ended either, and you awkwardly drummed your fingers on the body of the guitar when you stopped playing, Ellie and Julie both watching you. 

“Right, well,” you said. “Like I said, not really my wheelhouse and…” 

“That was fantastic!” Julie cut you off, her broad smile making the freckles on her cheeks rise. 

“Told you,” Ellie said. “She’s the best.” 

“Well I figured that much,” Julie rolled her eyes a little dramatically but smiled that cocky smile as she did before looking back to you again. “Thanks for letting me put you on the spot.” 

“Any time,” you said before you really had a chance to think about it. She smiled a little bigger. 

“Hey, so, I hadn’t meant to break up the jam session,” she said. “I was actually coming by to see if you wanted to come with me tomorrow afternoon, I was going to head out to the orchards for a bit. You’re welcome to join, get outside for a bit. It’s nice, promise.” 

“Um,” you said for what felt like the millionth time that day, trying to picture the stable schedule. “I think that would work, I have some patrols leaving that morning but should be able to step away for a bit in the afternoon…” 

“Perfect,” she said, getting up. “I need to get down to the Bison but I’ll meet you at the stables tomorrow?” 

“That’s where I’ll be,” you smiled in a way you hoped was genuine. “Looking forward to it.” 

“It’ll be fun,” she said. “I’ll see you then. Bye, Ellie!” 

“Bye Julie,” she dragged her name out and gave you a look. You seriously considered kicking her. Julie laughed and started down your walk, only making it halfway to the gate before turning around and walking backwards, looking back at you with her hands in her back pockets. 

“Nice dress, by the way,” she said. “It works for you. See you tomorrow!” 

You went back to messing with your guitar as you tried to not watch her walk up the lane. Ellie was far less delicate, craning her neck until Julie turned the corner. 

She spun to face you and swatted your leg. 

“Oh my GOD,” she half whispered, half yelled at you. 

“What?” You asked, fingers stilling on the strings. 

“That!” She said. “All that fucking flirting!” 

“Ellie…” 

“Oh come ON,” she cut you off. “You may as well have fucked right on your porch, Jesus Christ…” 

“OK I will say this again,” you said, setting your guitar down beside you. “Who is and isn’t between my legs? Not your business.” 

“Well that’s just not true,” she rolled her eyes. “You’re the one who fucked Joel and made it my business.” You sighed and went to reply but she held up a hand. “Don’t get me wrong, I’d rather you two work your shit out and get back together. But if you’re not going to figure it out then you shouldn’t just be miserable and lonely forever and Julie is hot as fuck.” 

“Ellie!” You hissed. 

“What!” She replied, her brows raised. “She is!” 

“Jesus…” 

“Just saying!” She said, her hands up in mock surrender. “Julie’s cool. And hot. I think you’d have fun. And you should at least try to have some fun sometimes instead of just being miserable all the time.”

“What if I like being miserable.” 

“Just don’t chicken out,” Ellie said, ignoring you and picking up her guitar before getting to her feet. “But I’m getting hungry. Think I’ll go see what the old man is doing for dinner. You’re welcome to come along if you’d rather not be miserable with us…” 

“Ellie.” 

“Right, right,” she rolled her eyes. “I mean it, fucking go tomorrow. You big chicken.” 

“Go home, you little brat,” you replied. She cheerfully flipped you off before heading back toward Joel’s. 

You sat on your porch for a while longer, absently playing and watching as the color of the sky slowly shifted from blue to pink to deep, inky black. The darkness seemed to swallow everything, like there wasn’t anything beyond what was right in front of you. But you knew that if you walked far enough, followed the light of the north star, you’d find things beyond what consumed here and now. 

It was late when you finally went inside, scrounging in your kitchen for the last of some of what Joel had brought you even though you weren’t particularly hungry. You turned on the stereo and just let whatever CD you’d put in last play, not really paying attention 

You found yourself thinking about Julie. About what Ellie said about Julie. 

It had been a long time since you’d had a woman flirt with you. You’d been with your fair share of women since the outbreak but flirting hadn’t really been part of it. Marisa was the first woman you’d slept with and, after Savvy came along, you stopped seeking out that kind of connection with men and kept it to strictly women. It just seemed safer. After Marisa, it had always been casual - you didn’t think you could bear another heartbreak like that - and it had always been fairly blunt. You could generally tell if they were interested in letting off some physical steam and, if they were, you had fun for a few days before they moved on. 

But things with Julie reminded you of one of your first crushes, a girl who did trick riding on the same circuit as you when you were a girl. You’d first noticed Courtney when you were both 13. She was so beautiful you couldn’t help but stare at her. At first, you’d almost resented her. She was good, damn good, and she was full of charismatic smiles and she dusted glitter across her collarbones that peeked out from the top of her costume. She was exactly who your mother wished you were and, as much as you loved bronc and bull and roping, part of you wanted to be who your mother wanted you to be. You wanted to be satisfied with what she wanted for you and you wanted to be happy being who Courtney was so effortlessly. Life would be simpler and happier if you were content with that and Courtney was proof that life existed. And you wanted it.

You settled for beating her, for a while. Narrowing your eyes at her when you passed her between rounds at competitions, looking her way when you saw your scores narrowly eclipse hers on the board. You loved it. The only thing you wanted more than beating her was her. 

Hell if you knew what to do with that. 

In hindsight, you weren’t sure she knew, either.

The first time she’d said more than two words to you was when you’d smirked at her as you held the first place trophy. You went to the locker room after the awards ceremony and you had the place almost to yourself, most of the other girls already cleaned out. The third place winner - a girl who’s name you didn’t remember - left and it was just a few seconds later that you heard the door slam into the wall. You looked up to see Courtney stalking over to you. You could see the glitter on her collarbones and her cheeks, her eyes hot and her lips full. 

“Want to tell me what the hell your problem is?” She demanded, getting so close to you that you could smell her body spray. It was almost sickly sweet and floral but on her it smelled good. “What did I ever do to you? Why do you hate me so much!” 

“I don’t hate you…” you said. 

“Could’ve fooled me!” She cut you off. 

“Why do you care?” You snapped. “We compete, we’re not friends, who cares if I hate you?” 

“I care!” She snapped back. 

“Why!” 

“Because I like you!” She yelled, breathless. You just blinked at her for a moment as she caught her breath, her eyes drifting to your lips. “I like you and sometimes…” 

She didn’t get a chance to finish. Instead, you kissed her. 

It was clumsy and deeply uncertain. You’d never kissed anyone before and you had no idea what you were doing, your hands locked tight at your sides as though touching her anywhere at all was against the rules but you were risking it, anyway. Her mouth was warm and soft and it seemed oddly wet even though that made sense when you thought about it. 

After a moment you pulled back from her slightly, your eyes wide, not really believing what you’d just done. 

“I’m sorry,” you said, your turn to be breathless now. “I… I don’t know…” 

“Shut up,” she kissed you that time, pressing you back against the lockers, stretching up to better reach your lips, her body hot on your own. You kissed her back, trying to focus and take in everything. How she tasted, how she smelled, how her costume hugged the slight curve of her waist. 

“Courtney!” Her mother’s shrill voice from the hall made her jump away from you and wipe her mouth on the back of her hand. “You about ready honey?” 

“One minute!” She called back before turning to you. “Do you have a some paper?” 

You just nodded and fumbled in your bag for a notebook. She turned to a random page that happened to have some history notes on it and wrote her name and number at the top. Her handwriting was soft and curved and feminine and you envied that, too. She drew a little heart next to it. 

“Call me,” she said, pressing the notebook into your chest. “OK?” 

“Yeah,” you said, staring at her. You couldn’t help but stare at her. “Yeah, I will.” 

“Good,” she smiled. “See you next time, superstar. Maybe I’ll finish on top then.” 

“Courtney!” 

“Coming!” She grabbed her bag out of a nearby locker and gave you an almost sly smile before she ran out to meet her mother. 

From then on, most of your time with her was flirting. In between rounds at competitions or on the phone when you were far apart, carefully crafting your words so you’d have plausible deniability with your parents but know what the other meant. You wrote each other letters when you were apart, counted the days until you got to see each other again. When you found an empty spot when you were in the same place, you ended up tangled up together, kissing and fumbling against each other, figuring out what seemed to stoke the fires deep inside yourselves in the small moments you could find for just the two of you. 

That continued for just over a year when Courtney came to a tournament with a somber expression on her face. You frowned but she gave you a subtle shake of her head as she passed you and you kept quiet. It took a few hours before you were able to get her alone and she told you the truth of it. That her mom had found your letters to her - thankfully not signed so she had no idea who had written them but still obviously from another girl - and had told her daughter that she, unequivocally, would end it. 

“But…” you protested, trying not to cry. 

“I’m sorry,” she said, her voice thick. “But… she threatened to send me to one of those camps if I don’t and… I can’t go to that, OK? I can’t, I don’t think I could make it and…” 

You held onto her as she cried, her tears making little rivers in the glitter on her skin. 

“I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I really… I think I…” 

You kissed her before she said it. 

“Me too,” you said quietly when you pulled away. 

She sniffed and smiled a small smile.

“Maybe in another life, right?” 

“Right,” you smiled a little back. 

She dried her eyes as best she could and you watched from the stands as she gave the best performance you’d ever seen. You did the opposite. Your routine ended with a full Stroud Layout but your top foot slipped when you were getting into position and you fell off your horse, tumbling over and over yourself in the sand of the arena, the feel of it gritty in your mouth as your head spun when your body finally came to a stop. 

You didn’t make the podium and your mother didn’t push you to compete again for a while. You never saw Courtney again. 

You weren’t sure how to navigate things with Julie. You weren’t sure what you wanted to navigate with Julie. She was beautiful, yes. And she seemed kind and funny and smart. She seemed like someone you could have fun with and could care about. 

But she wasn’t Joel. You weren’t sure you could feel like you felt for him for anyone else. It seemed silly to even try. And if you couldn’t feel like that, what was the point? 

You tried to sleep but gave up eventually. After a while, you found the moose carving you’d started when you were out with Joel, looking for Savvy. It was getting closer to being done, though it was still a rough hewn thing. You weren’t sure anyone who didn’t know what it was supposed to be would realize what it was without help. But still, it felt good to make something. You let yourself be absorbed by carving it for a bit, until it felt like you’d shut your mind down enough to sleep. You set the moose down on the nightstand, arranging him so it was like he was watching you sleep, the red splotch from your blood still staining his chest.

You brought him with you to the stables the next day for something to work on when you needed the distraction. Just sitting there with your thoughts when you had downtime seemed like a bad idea. 

“You’re gonna tell me all about it, right?” Ellie asked as you gave Shimmer and Ares a final once over that morning. 

“I don’t need to tell you every time I hang out with someone,” you replied. 

“Whatever,” she said. “Just don’t chicken out. Actually go, you need a social life…” 

“What, getting sick of keeping me company all the time?” You teased, handing her the reins. 

“Yeah, you’re pretty fucking boring,” she smirked a little. You snorted. “I’m serious though. Promise you’ll go.” 

“I’m going,” you said, giving her a gentle shove toward the door. “Get out of here. Be safe on patrol, see you back tonight.” 

“Not if you’re at Julie’s you won’t,” she waggled her eyebrows at you and you rolled your eyes as you watched her lead her and Joel’s horses out of the stables. 

Time dragged until that afternoon and you found yourself feeling oddly nervous, waiting for Julie to come by. You weren’t sure what time she was supposed to get there and, you realized, you didn’t know what to actually expect with any of this. 

Yeah, it had felt like flirting. And Ellie seemed sure that it was. But Ellie was a kid and your recent experience in that department was so limited you really knew fuck all about it. What if you’d read the situation completely wrong? What if Julie was just a nice woman who wanted to be friends? 

“Hey you,” Julie’s voice surprised you enough that it made you jump, water sloshing over the side of the bucket you were carrying to top off one of the horses. “Shit, I’m sorry! Didn’t mean to scare you…” 

“You’re fine,” you said quickly, refilling a waterer and setting the bucket down. 

“Now still good?” She asked. “Because I’m not in a rush, today is my day off…” 

“Now’s good,” you said quickly, trying not to think too hard about what she was wearing. Her long, lush hair was softly braided and hung over her shoulder, loose strands framing her face. Her shorts were short and her legs were long and sculpted and she wore a few long necklaces that settled into the curve between her breasts. She smiled. 

“Great!” She held up a bag you hadn’t noticed before. “Brought snacks. Not that we’ll need much, it’s peak berry season out there. We could eat ourselves sick and not make a dent.” 

“Don’t tempt me,” you smiled a little. 

“Oh, I intend to,” she smiled back. 

Julie led the way out of town, smiling and chatting with the guards at the gate for a moment before heading toward the orchards just east of town. 

“So why are you heading out here on your day off?” You asked, looking over at her. 

“Well as I think you know, one of my main contributions to the good people of Jackson is tending bar at the Bison,” she smiled. “But that’s because I just really like drinks. I found this old cocktail book when I was a teenager and I just kind of became obsessed, I guess? There was that and these books and magazines that showed what it was like before and I wanted to do that. Have the experience of going to a bar when life was different, you know? And yeah, we make some pretty decent booze here in town - or I think we do, anyway, didn’t really get to try any before - but that’s not all it takes to make a good cocktail. I can’t make a Coke or anything but I can make the syrups and infusions and things. I like to experiment in my spare time so I come out here, pick the supplies I need, and give things a try at home before I bring my ideas into the Bison.” 

“Do I get to know what you’re working on?” You asked, brows raised. 

“If I told you, I’d have to kill you,” she smirked. “But I will need a guinea pig before too long if you’re game…” 

“Far be it from me to turn down a free drink,” you replied and she smiled bigger. 

The orchards were, indeed, beautiful. You followed her to a particularly dense spot and she pulled a blanket out of the bag, spreading it on the ground in the shade of an apple tree. 

“I won’t lie,” she said, sitting back on her hands and closing her eyes, taking a deep breath. “This is probably my favorite spot.” 

“I can see why,” you nodded, drawing your knees into your chest and looking around. “It’s gorgeous here.” 

“It’s quiet here,” she laughed a little. “Don’t get me wrong, I love Jackson. Way better than the QZ we were in when I was a kid. It’s a good place with good people. I love the people, truly, I do. But everyone knows everyone and knows everything about everyone and it’s so hard to have anything for yourself, you know?” 

“Yeah,” you nodded. “It’s a great place but… it’s definitely a lot.” 

You talked a little about your pasts. You told her - vaguely, lightly - about your time before Mitchum. She told you about her time in the Denver QZ and you almost fainted when she said she was only 31 years old. 

“How old were you when the world ended?” You gaped at her. “Do you even remember?” 

“I was seven,” she laughed. “I remember a bit. How old were you?” 

“Older than that,” you replied. “Jesus…” 

“Not that old, clearly,” she said, picking a blackberry off a bush and holding it out to you. “This is a good one, you should have it.” 

“Old enough,” you replied. “And if it’s good, you should have it.” 

“I have them all the time,” she said, stepping close to you. You were suddenly acutely aware of the fact that you were wearing the same clothes you’d been wearing when working with the horses all day and you hoped you didn’t smell. She pressed the berry to your lips. “Try it.” 

You obeyed, taking the fruit into your mouth and biting into it, the juice bursting on your tongue. 

“See?” She smiled. “Told you.” 

The two of you ended up back on the blanket and you stretched out on it, looking up at the clouds drifting lazily past overhead, arms bare - too hot to wear anything more than a tank top - but not feeling overly exposed. Julie lay next to you, her arm brushing your own. 

“Is it weird that I sometimes don’t feel like I missed out?” She asked. You felt her adjust next to you and you glanced her way to see her lying on her side, facing you. “I mean I know there was a lot before that we don’t have now but… I dunno, I guess I still wanted to be a ballerina when the world ended. It doesn’t feel like I really gave up all that much, you know?” 

“Think that has as much to do with Jackson as anything else,” you replied, adjusting so that you were facing her. “But I get that, in a way. If I’d found Jackson when I was younger, I think I’d feel the same. Shit, what I’m doing now is exactly what I grew up wanting to do. If it wasn’t for all the time in between, the end of the world would have just turned into me getting just what I wanted. Besides all the death anyway.” 

“Think you’re right about the Jackson thing,” she smiled a little. “It’s a special place with good people. Like a few better than the others, though.” 

“Yeah?” 

She reached out and brushed some of the hair that had fallen from your braid back from your face and trailed her fingers down your cheek and your chin. 

“Yup.” 

She leaned in then, moving slow and holding your gaze, giving you all the time in the world to stop her if you wanted. 

You didn’t. 

Her kiss was soft and gentle, her lips smooth on yours. She tasted and smelled sweet and her hand went to your hip, tugging you against her. 

Julie’s body was softer than you expected as she pressed against you and, in so many ways, she felt safe and comfortable there. But she felt foreign, too. You’d become accustomed to a different form on yours, one that was larger and broader and firmer. 

You tried not to think about him as her kiss deepened, as your hand went to her waist and trailed over her side but stopped short of cupping her breast. 

She nudged you onto your back and she settled on top of you, her chest pressed tight to yours, her hips starting to rock gently against you. You ran your hands over her back to the top of her ass but didn’t go lower, not able to shake the subtle wrongness of kissing someone and feeling someone who wasn’t Joel. 

After a minute, she pulled away from you. 

“I get the feeling you’re not as into this as I am,” she said, panting a little. You opened your mouth to argue but she silenced you with a look. “If I misread things, I’m really sorry. But you should know that you don’t have to fuck me just because I’m trying to fuck you.” 

“You didn’t misread anything,” you said quickly. 

“Good,” she smiled a little. “But… It doesn’t seem like you’re feeling this.” 

You winced. 

“I don’t know what I’m feeling,” you said. “But… I don’t think I’m feeling what you are.” 

“Well shit,” she laughed a little and rolled off you, lying flat on her back beside you. “I really am sorry if I came on too strong or did something you didn’t want…” 

You laughed a little. 

“Definitely not that,” you said. “Just have… other things on my mind. And you deserve someone’s full attention.”

She turned her head to look at you and you turned yours, too. 

“It’s Joel, isn’t it?” She asked. You winced a little. “Sorry, I’m not trying to dig into anything that’s not my business, it just… seemed like you guys split up a while ago so I thought it would be OK. I’m sorry.” 

“No, it probably should be,” you said. “It’s got nothing to do with you, trust me.” 

“Well,” she said. “At the risk of this being the most awkward hang out ever… want to help me get some raspberries?��� 

“Sure,” you laughed a little. “I’d like that.” 

She smiled. 

“Good. Me too.” 

It was awkward for a bit, but by the time the two of you started back to Jackson, it was lighter. Easier. Like you’d never kissed at all. 

Julie walked with you back to the stables, not too long before you were expecting patrols that weren’t out overnight to return. 

“Even with everything today, I hope we can be friends,” she said. “I do actually like you. Not just because I’d like to fuck you.” 

You laughed a little. 

“Yeah, I’d like that, too,” you said. “I’m sorry I’m not… in the same place on the fucking front…” 

“I’d rather pretend we never found that out,” she laughed a little. “Maintain some of the mystery. But, you know. If anything changes, it’s a small town. You know where to find me.” 

“That I do,” you said. 

She turned to leave but seemed to think better of it and turned back. 

“If he’s it for you?” She said. “I think you should figure out a way to make it work. No point in wanting something and acting like you can’t have it when it’s right there, you know? And yeah, it’s not really my business and yeah, I don’t know you all that well but… something tells me you’re not going to be feeling any different anytime soon. And I don’t think he is either. Just… my two cents.” 

She smiled and leaned in, pressing a kiss to your cheek. 

“Thanks, Julie,” you said quietly. She gave your arm a squeeze. 

“See you around, Bambi.” 

You watched the door she left through for a few minutes after she was gone before you went back to work. 

The patrols all made it back without incident, Ellie returning her and Joel’s horses. She asked how things went but you just waved her off and she deflated a bit. 

“I keep trying to get some excitement around here,” she said. “You are no fucking help, you know that?” 

“I am so sorry my romantic life isn’t more entertaining,” you said wryly. “I’ll work on that. Entirely for your benefit, of course.” 

“Well you’re clearly not going to do it for your own.” 

You just rolled your eyes as she headed back home. You stayed late at the stables. Not for any real reason, you just didn’t want to be at home alone and going to the mess hall didn’t sound like what you wanted, either. You worked on the moose carving, pleasantly surprised at the progress you’d made on him. 

You ended up working on him until, almost suddenly, you realized he was done. Fully formed - or as close to it as you could get him - with four legs and jagged shapes for the antlers. But he looked like a moose, broad and steady and strong. You turned him over in your hand a few times, running your finger over the arch of his back and the curve of his neck. 

“What am I going to do with you?” You said quietly, holding it up in front of you, looking where his eyes would be if he had them. The bloodstain was still crimson on his chest. 

After a few minutes, you got up off the floor of the stable and did your final check for the evening before locking up behind you and heading home. 

You took the long way. 

It was dark but not so late that the Tipsy Bison had closed for the night, a warm glow coming from the windows. With the sun down, you were a little cold with bare arms but you didn’t mind. You walked slowly, watching the stars as you went. 

You stopped at the end of Joel’s walk. The lights were out. You thought he probably went to bed early - he got tired after a patrol - but he could be at the Bison, too. Either way… 

You all but crept up his walk, holding the moose tightly in your fingers. You stopped at the base of his stairs and held the rough-hewn animal in front of your face again. 

“Keep an eye on him for me?” You said quietly to the wood. It didn’t say anything back. You stepped as lightly as you could up the stairs but the same step as always squeaked below you. You set the moose on Joel’s doormat before turning to go, making the step squeak again. You made it almost all the way back up the walk when the lights inside turned on and you picked up the pace. 

It didn’t matter. You heard the front door open just as you turned onto the street and your eyes darted over toward him before you could help it. 

“Bambi?” He called, not too loud. He was in his blue cotton plaid sleep pants and a black t-shirt that hugged his body just right, tight across his shoulders and upper arms, highlighting the soft curve of his stomach. You stopped for a moment and just gave him a tight smile before continuing on home. 

When you went to bed, you found yourself looking at the spot on your nightstand where the moose had been before, part of you wishing he was still beside you.

***

“Hey. Hey Joel.” 

Joel smiled a little to himself. He recognized Ellie’s tone. 

“What’s up, kiddo?” 

“Wanna hear a joke about pizza?” 

He sighed, trying to sound annoyed. He wasn’t sure if it worked. 

“Get the feeling you’re gonna tell me either way.” 

“Eh, never mind,” Ellie said, sounding a little put out. Joel looked back at her, frowning slightly. And then she smirked. “It’s too cheesy.” 

Joel groaned. 

“That one’s bad, baby girl.” 

“No it’s not!” She rode up alongside him even though the trail wasn’t really wide enough for that. “That was a good one!” 

“Nope,” he shook his head. “It was terrible, three out of 10.” 

“Bullshit!” 

“What would you give it?” He asked, brows raised. “Because I’m questioning your judgement here…” 

“At least a six.” 

“No.” 

“Yes!” She laughed. “You’ve just got shitty taste, old man.” 

“Uh huh,” he laughed. “And what’s that say about you then, hm?” 

“Broken clock is right twice a day,” she replied. “You were bound to accidentally do OK every now and then. Will Livingston, however, is right every time.” 

“You got that entire book memorized?” He teased lightly. “If not, you gotta be close…” 

“I’m getting there,” she said. “Saving the best for last.” 

Joel just shook his head a little. 

He loved patrolling with Ellie. Even more than he thought he would. It was so much like when he’d first come to know her and care for her. It was a time, he realized now, that made him understand that he could still love. That he had it within himself to care for another person, that he could cope with the fear of loss that came with attachment because Ellie was worth it. He liked spending the time just the two of them and getting to know her better as the young woman she was becoming instead of the little girl he’d come to know years earlier. She’d grown so much, come into her own in a way that was only possible in a place like Jackson. She had friends and hobbies and had become part of the community there. Every day with her was reassurance that he’d done the right thing. That every life he’d taken that day in the hospital was a worthy price to pay. 

Joel had left Jackson with Ellie plenty before patrolling with her, back when she was still speaking to him. Before she found out the truth of everything. He’d loved it then, too. But this was different. She was still his baby girl but they were out here as partners, working together to protect the community they both loved. It was a glimpse of the future they had, one where their lives moved along side by side and he got to watch her find her place and fall in love and have a family of her own and just be happy as herself. 

They were only a day out from Jackson now, heading in from a three day long patrol. It was Ellie’s first overnight patrol and she’d been so excited for it, even as she tried to pretend like she wasn’t. The days before they left town, Ellie was over at his house every night, going over the list of what she should bring and looking over the map. She’d lit up when he said they could bring a guitar, something else that made Joel smile. 

It had been more than a month since she’d gotten him back into playing, showing up at his house with a guitar and saying she wanted his opinion on something. She played American Girl, one of his favorites, and set the guitar down when she was done. 

“That was amazing, baby girl,” he’d said, more than a little in awe of her. “Where did you learn that?” 

“Bambi,” she replied. “But do you think it’d sound better with two? I feel like it would. But you’re the musician so…” 

It was an obvious ploy but it made him smile a little. The idea that Ellie would do that much to make him play again. That you’d help her. 

“It might,” he said, getting up to get his instrument. “Let’s give it a try.” 

Joel tried to not think of you too much. He usually failed. But he was getting better at not drowning in the memories of you, of not letting the loss of you consume him. 

It helped that he’d found a way to care for you while respecting the distance you wanted. He couldn’t bring himself to just abandon you, not when he had a sense of how much you were hurting. So he brought you food. Selfishly, it served two purposes. It meant you were, hopefully, eating something. But it also meant he knew that you were still alive. That he could leave a box on your porch, walk by a few hours later, and see that it was gone. He could check on you without forcing you to talk to him and that eased the steady drumbeat of worry inside him. 

When he heard you were back at the stables, he shifted from things you needed to things you would want. He brought you the things he found that made him think of you, things he’d have given you when he came home to you in another life. 

It also helped that he knew you thought of him, too. At least occasionally, enough that you’d left the carving you’d made on his porch a few weeks before. He thought he was hearing things when the first squeak woke him up from his place on the couch, but then the step squeaked a second time and he was sure he heard it. He’d thought it might be Ellie, needing something but  not necessarily wanting to say it. He hadn’t expected to see you heading down the street, the first glimpse of you he’d had in so long. Your arm was out of the cast and you looked good. A bit thinner than you’d been the last time he’d seen you but still good. Still beautiful, still soft with sharp edges. Still what he wanted to sink into and wrap himself up in every chance he got. He picked the moose up and brought it inside, tracing the outline of its frame for a moment. You’d finished it. It was rough, you were clearly a beginner, but you’d finished it and given it to him. His thumb brushed the wound on its heart, where you’d bled. Before he really thought better of it, he brought the figure to his lips and kissed it gently before setting it on the side table and turning out the lights. 

The two of you were set to leave Jackson again in just a week, another gap in the patrol schedule that you could leverage to search for Savvy now that you were healed. He hoped this search led somewhere. He couldn’t imagine what it was like, living like that, not knowing what happened to your child. The closest he’d come was the torturous time that Ellie was with the monsters who’d taken her in Silver Lake. He was so frantic, so terrified of what he’d find but even more terrified of never finding it to begin with. He needed to save her, protect her. But if he couldn’t do that, he needed to know what happened to her. He needed to know who to destroy before he destroyed himself for letting it happen. Living in that for years would be unbearable. 

“Hey Joel?” 

He could hear the frown in her voice. 

“Yeah Baby Girl?” He looked over his shoulder, Ellie and Shimmer falling behind him again now that the trail had narrowed further. She stopped and so did he.

“That’s something we should be watching for, right?” She nodded toward something off the trail, a small frown on her face. Joel followed where she was looking and he froze in his saddle. 

It took an eagle eye to spot it, just brush amongst brush, but it shocked him when he saw it. The gentle arch of a sapling, stretching down toward the ground, held there with rope. 

“Yeah,” he said. “It is. Stay with the horses.” 

“But…” 

“Just one second,” he said, dismounting and going for the trap, trying desperately not to get his hopes up but his heart was racing. It was a common set up for a trap. It could be anyone’s.

This trap was far fresher than the one he’d found with you, the dirt where the pin and been put in the ground still disturbed. The trap itself was still baited and the pins were smooth, almost artistically carved. It hadn’t been here long. He looked around quickly, looking for some indication of where the person who set this trap might have gone. It took some doing - whoever it was covered their tracks well - but he found it, the edge of a boot print. 

He went back to his horse and mounted up. 

“Ellie,” he said, voice serious. “Need you to listen to me, OK?” 

“OK,” she frowned. “Joel, you’re acting weird…” 

“We’re gonna track someone,” he said. “But when we find them, need you to not shoot them until we talk to them, OK? And… and if its a teenaged girl, need you to not shoot them even if she pulls a gun on me, OK?” 

“A teenaged… Joel, what the fuck are you talking about?” 

“Just trust me,” he said. “Please.” 

He started with the boot print and found little hints of someone moving through the brush from there. Disturbed leaves, a splotch of dirt that looked misplaced, a small branch that had snagged on another when something about human height passed below it. 

“Joel,” Ellie said after they’d been tracking for about 20 minutes. 

“Still looking,” he said gently. “It’s OK…” 

He heard something rustle down low up ahead and he adjusted Ares’ path to check on it. He didn’t need to go far, the source of the sound only about 100 feet away and next to a large rock. Standing there, beside to a large horse and a large dog, was a girl. She was a little taller than Ellie, with gangly arms and legs, a rifle held high in her hands. 

“Stop right there!” She said, her voice sharp with a familiar southern twang. The dog moved in front of her, getting down low and bearing its teeth. “Don’t wanna shoot you but I will. You can move right along, this spot’s taken.” 

Joel lifted his hands and caught a glimpse of Ellie raising a gun next to him. 

“Ellie!” He said sharply. She looked at him, eyes wide. “Gun down. Now.” 

“But…” 

“Now.” 

She huffed but lowered the gun slowly, her eyes back on the girl in front of her. 

“Won’t shoot you in the back,” the girl said. “Just turn around and go.” 

Joel fought to focus. The girl in front of him… she looked like Sarah, so so much like Sarah. The same shock of curly hair, same brown skin, same bright eyes. If he didn’t know better, he’d think they were sisters. He fought to stay here, in the forest with Ellie, not getting swallowed by his own memories. He’d found her. He was all but certain of that now, he’d found her and he was going to bring her back to you. 

“You out here on your own?” He asked gently, his hands said up. 

“Don’t see how that’s any business of yours,” she said sharply. “All that matters to you is that I will kill you, don’t try me.” 

“I understand,” he said. “Not going to hurt you…” 

“Bullshit.” 

“We’re not,” Ellie snapped. 

“Ellie.” 

“What!” She said. “Joel, I swear, if she shoots you…” 

“Remember what I said,” he replied. 

“But…” 

“I mean it,” he cut her off. “Don’t, OK?” 

He turned back to the girl. 

“Not going to hurt you,” he said again. “Just… just hear me out for just a second, OK? We’re from a settlement, about a day’s ride from here…” 

“Good for you,” she said. “Better head that way then.” 

“It’s a good place,” he said, ignoring her. “With good people. Including… including your mama, I think.” 

Her eyes went a little wide and she lowered the gun ever so slightly. He caught a glimpse of Ellie’s head whipping around to look at him but he kept his eyes on the girl. 

“Your name’s Savannah, right?” He pressed on. “Your mom, she calls you Savvy, right?” 

She raised the gun again. 

“How’d you know that,” snapped. “You one of the assholes that took her? That it? What, you kill her? Get her to tell you about me first? That what happened?” 

“No honey,” Joel said, his throat tight. He’d found her, he’d found your daughter. “No, she… she escaped them, few years back. She got hurt real bad doin’ it, we brought her in, got her fixed up and she stayed. She’s been looking for you but she’s still there…” 

“Why should I trust you?” She snapped. “Why should I believe a damn thing you say?” 

“Because I know her,” he said. “Been helping her look for you. She’s… I know her. She trains horses, guessin’ she trained the one you’ve got? She trained the one I’m on, too. She runs our stable for us, she…” 

“Bambi?” Ellie gaped at him. “Bambi’s her mom? Bambi has…” 

“Ellie,” Joel said again, cutting her off and looking back at Savvy. 

“She’s there,” he said. “She misses you, she misses you so much. Told me how you liked to read to the horses when you were little. How the dogs liked you better than her. How you’re real good at carving… Recognized your trap, found another one of yours a few months back. She told me how your pins are always smooth and even… Let us take you back with us. Won’t take your guns, just… just come back with us. Please. She misses you so much, she’s been so worried…” 

“We’re not people to be afraid of,” Ellie said and Joel glanced her way. She was looking at Savvy now, her face serious. “Well, as long as you’re not an asshole. I know Joel seems scary but he’s not. Promise. He’s safe.” 

She lowered the gun slowly, looking between the two of them before looking down at the dog. 

“Gattling,” she said. “Heel.” 

The dog dropped its defensive stance and went alongside her, looking up and waiting for a command. She looked back at Joel and Ellie. 

“You really know my mom?” She asked quietly. “She’s… she’s really alive?” 

“She is,” Joel nodded, lowering his hands to the saddle horn. There was a knot in his throat. “And we can take you to her. Please.” 

She hesitated for a moment. 

“She teaches me stuff about music,” Ellie said quickly. “How to play some stuff on guitar, too, but more about music in general. She’s cool. Really. I’m… I’m sure she wants to see you again. And Jackson’s nice. And so are we. Just come along, OK?” 

She took a deep breath, looking down at the dog for a moment, adjusting her grip on the rifle. 

“OK.” 

***

“She’s in rare fucking form this week,” Olivia said, watching as you steadied Persephone, one of the fillies you were working with. 

“She’s just got an independent streak,” you said, the horse’s feet stomping impatiently in the dirt. “That’s OK. I get that. So do the best of us, right?” 

She huffed and jerked her large head. You smiled a little. 

“You’re sure she’s not gonna throw you?” Olivia asked, sounding a little worried. 

“No,” you shrugged. “But I’ve gotten thrown off horses before, nothin’ new. Only way to break her is to break her, no point in stalling. You in a good spot?” 

“Think so,” she said, stepping a little further back from the horse as you got ready to mount her. 

“Then let’s go,” you said, all but jumping onto Persephone’s back. You barely got your foot in the stirrups before she started really bucking, Olivia moving even further away. You clutched the reins in one hand and let your hips go loose, digging your heels down toward the earth to stay seated. You let your body move with her as she hurled herself through the air, desperate to dislodge you. But you weren’t going anywhere. She gave you a good shake that made you grab the back of the saddle but otherwise, she didn’t get anywhere close to throwing you. After a while, she started to calm, her movements still sharp and harsh but closer to the earth, her hooves staying on the ground more often than not. Eventually, she mostly stilled, just tossing her head and huffing indignantly. 

“See?” You said soothingly, reaching forward to pat her neck. “That’s my good girl, you did so well…” 

“Bambi,” Olivia said, catching your eye. She nodded toward the gate to the paddock and you frowned a little before you followed her gaze. 

Standing there was Joel and Ellie, their reins in their hands. But between them was a girl. She was young, a teenager, with springy curls and brown skin and wide, soft eyes. 

You knew those eyes. You knew those eyes and that hair and that skin. For a moment, the world shrank to a small point centered on her and you wondered if, maybe, you’d finally lost your mind. If something had finally broken so thoroughly that you were seeing things. 

But you weren’t. She was here. Your daughter was alive and she was here, in Jackson. 

“Savvy,” you breathed and Persephone bucked below you. You weren’t paying attention to the horse and you flew off her back and into the dirt, landing with a brain rattling thud. You didn’t care. 

You scrambled to your feet, throwing a glance back at Olivia to make sure she had Persephone so Savvy wouldn’t get hurt, and ran for her. 

“Mom,” she said, her voice thick as you reached her and pulled her into yourself. You clutched her to your chest until you thought you could feel her heartbeat alongside yours, clinging to her too close to even kiss her or look at her but you needed to feel the life in her first, soak up the vitality of her before someone took it away. 

“You’re alive,” you managed, voice thick. You buried your nose and mouth in her hair, breathing her in. “You’re alive, you’re here, you’re OK, you’re…” 

“I can’t believe you’re here,” she said wetly and you pulled back from her just enough to look at her. Tears slipped down her cheeks and she sniffed as you took her face in your hands. “I didn’t think I’d ever see you again, I thought you were gone, I…” 

“I’m so sorry baby,” you kissed her forehead before pulling her against you again and clinging to her. “I’m so sorry I let you go, I’m so sorry I didn’t get to you, I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry…” 

“It’s OK Mom,” she said, her hands holding your elbows. “I’m OK, it’s OK, I promise…” 

You just held on to her, trying to memorize everything about her that you could. That she was taller now, that her shape had changed, that it seemed like she hadn’t had a chance to really grow into her limbs yet. 

You looked up at Joel who was still there, his eyes wet, watching you hold your daughter. 

“You found her,” you said softly. 

He just nodded. 

“Found her,” he said. “Couldn’t have without you, though. With everything you told me about her, was able to find her.”

You just nodded, running your hand down the back of her head as you held her. 

“Thank you, Joel,” you whispered, holding her so tight that you were worried you might hurt her but too afraid that she’d slip away to stop. “Thank you.”  

Next Chapter

A/N: AHHHH SAVVY'S HERE!!!!

And Joel found her. I'm so happy that Bambi has her baby back, for real. Things are getting there. I promise.

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[echobx]

Protective!Rafe

Rafe saves reader when her dad hurts her in public and he drives her home back to his and looks after her, he cleans her cuts and she kisses him. The shower and cuddle together!

Don't hurt her or else... - Rafe Cameron × fem!reader

warnings: angst, hitting, talk about abuse, fluff, spicy talk, making out

word count: 1.2k

author's note: I tried to dabble in the post!season3 Rafe a bit, because I got so much hope for him to get better. (although I don't mind s2!Rafe either)

“That's how you're treating me? You're a brat, y/n!” your dad screams at you, and before you can brace yourself his hand meets your cheek. Your skin burns and tears threaten to stream down your face, but you are trying your best to not falter. To your surprise, he doesn't swing out for a second hit and instead composes himself as if nothing had ever happened. As if he was being watched… “Mr. y/l/n, if you don't take a step away from your daughter I'm gonna call security,” someone says from behind you before you feel a hand on your shoulder, his thumb rubbing soft circles on your skin. Your dad takes a step back, clearing his throat. “Mr. Cameron, this is a family matter. So, if you please-” “I don't. Leave. Go, before I start thinking about calling the Sheriff,” Rafe hisses at him and your dad takes his leave, but not without shooting you another glare.

It feels like you're finally able to breathe again once your dad is far enough away from you. But as soon as you stop fearing for your life, the pain kicks in. You take your hand up to touch your cheek, but Rafe stops you, wrapping his long fingers around your wrist and turning you around to face him. “Don't, we gotta clean this first,” he speaks softly, unlike you know him. Well, you don't know him, actually. You never once talked to him, only ever seen him around at the Country Club or at parties. “I'm not gonna hurt you,” he whispers and smiles. “You don't scare me,” you whisper back. Somehow you know he would never do to you what your father did, what your father had started doing and kept doing since you were twelve years old. “Is it okay if I take you home to me? Just to make sure you're alright. Clean that wound, maybe you can call a friend or…” You shake your head. “I don't really have anyone who I could stay with,” you admit and he nods.

The drive up Tannyhill is quiet, and you're somewhat glad about it. You never liked people asking questions. “Oh no, that bruise is just ‘cause I'm clumsy.” “I slipped while using a knife.” You have a thousand lies in your mind, every one as believable as the other. Especially considering how everyone else looks at your dad. The charismatic, wealthy single dad. A guy like him would never hurt his only child, especially his darling daughter that he loves so much. All of it bullshit. None of them have a clue about who he really is, and a part of you is glad they don't, because at least you have enough money to drown your sorrows.

“We're here,” Rafe notes and turns off the engine. He gets out and helps you, guiding you inside and up the stairs into a bathroom. “Fuck,” you hiss while looking in the mirror. Your father's ring has left a sharp cut on your cheekbone. “Might leave a cool scar,” Rafe quips and you snort. “Got more than enough of those.” “Sit up,” he points at the vanity, and you hop up, letting him clean the cut with a warm, damp washcloth. All the time he takes to patch you up you watch him carefully. He's handsome, blue eyes, nice jawline, the way he furrows his brows when he concentrates. His lips look soft, and for someone who is still in severe pain you really shouldn't be thinking about what it might be like to kiss him.

“Everything all right?” Rafe asks, and you snap out of it, shaking your head and collecting your thoughts. “Yes. Yeah. Everything's fine. Thank you,” you mumble and try to get up, but he holds you in place. “Y/n, I need to know. Does he do this often?” Rafe is whispering, and you try to smile. “It's not a big deal. You'd think I learned my lesson by now,” you huff a quiet laugh. “What lesson would that be?” “To not talk back. To do what I'm told and not what I want,” you reply and his face contorts as if he's in pain over your words. “I should drive you home and kill him,” Rafe hisses after turning around, his hands tugging at his hair. “You don't even know me. Why would you risk prison for me?” you ask and he spins around. “One, I do know you, we went to the same school for a while. Two, because you deserve so much better.” He steps closer again, cupping your face in his large hands, gently holding onto you. “I never thought anybody noticed me,” you hush. “I did,” Rafe breathes, his eyes darting down to your lips and a moment later he kisses you. His lips are just as soft as you imagined, and he tastes like lemon cake, which amuses you. “What?” he chuckles and smiles at you. “I like lemon cake too,” you giggle, and he kisses you another time, pulling your legs apart to stand in between them.

The soft kisses quickly turn into a sloppy make out session that leaves you both in nothing less than your underwear, but when Rafe looks down at you, he feels almost sorry again. “Don't look at me like that, please,” you whisper, trying to cover the old bruises and scars with your hands and arms. “Please, don't hide from me,” Rafe begs quietly. “Look,” he takes his arm up and shows you a burning scar. “I got some too. Not so pretty past here either, shortie.” “Hey!” you exclaim at the new nickname, but he just laughs and kisses you again. His lips travel down over your neck and farther down, ghosting over every single bruise on your body. “You didn't have to save me if all you wanted was to fuck me,” you giggle. “Oh, I'm not fucking you today,” he rasps from below before standing back up and whispering in your ear. “I wanna hear you beg for it, and then I'm still not gonna. At least not today.” “Who says I'm gonna beg,” you whisper back at him. You take a few steps towards the shower, dropping first your bra and then your slip before walking inside and turning on the steam shower. Rafe follows shortly after, but instead of trying to get a move on you, he's just holding you close.

“What are you doing?” you ask, because you truly have never met a guy who would rather comfort you than fuck you while both of you are completely naked. “I don't wanna make you feel like I'm using you,” he replies, leaning his head against yours. “Didn't think you'd be a guy like this. Always thought you were more of a frat bro,” you admit, and he pretends to be offended. “Oh, that hurt me deeply. How can you think so low of me, y/n?” “Guess I got that bi-ass,” you giggle, and he kisses the top of your head. “And she can joke. Impressive.”

Later you find yourself cuddled up next to him, your body covered in nothing more than one of his shirts, which looks huge on your figure. While Rafe has turned on some boring comedy movie to distract your mind. Soothing words and soft kisses slowly lull you into a deep sleep, and you wish you had actually met Rafe sooner.

please don't copy and/or post my work onto other platforms! ~e©ho

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[dearbraus]

Covered in the Colour of You ࿐

— Armin Arlert

⊹ Details. 18+ minors dni, cisfem reader (use of girl as reference to the reader), reader's hair gets combed through, reader wears a nightgown, post-canon exploration of characters and setting, reader is mentally ill (so is Armin), hunger as a metaphor for desire, love as consumption, love confessions, first times (Armin is a virgin, Reader is not), first kisses, sex on a table, some foreplay, unprotected sex, creampies, ambiguous ending, angst, hurt/some comfort, childhood friends to lovers. ⊹ Run time. 10k ⊹ Note. I don't know how we got here but I'm glad we did. This was meant to be a cute comfort fic to deal with the ending of Attack on Titan but it became so much more, I hope you enjoy.

❝A surprise visit from your childhood friend, Armin Arlert forces you to confront the feelings you've been harbouring for over a decade..❞

The Jägerist’s cries are deafening, they bounce off the clay brick walls of the surrounding houses and slither through your shuttered window panes. Every Tuesday and Thursday, the newly minted Paradis military regiment convenes in the small town square within the rebuilt city of Shiganshina. It took them just under a month to replace the fallen with green boys and girls who were just buzzing at the idea of honouring Eren Jäger and avenging his death. Once Paradis managed to secure the resources– if there were any left– you were certain that the military would erect a bronze statue of Paradis’ “saviour”. For now, they’d bother napping babies and the elderly folk who milled about the area to soak in some of the sun’s sweet warmth. 

Today they seemed to be reminding those who’d spare an ear to listen, that traitors would soon shore and with them came treasonous falsehoods. If not for Queen Historia who still harbours some morsel of affection for her old comrades, they’d be as good as dead the moment their ship docked. Word spread quickly, how you weren’t sure, but like wildfire the claim that Armin Arlert had been the one to kill Eren Jäger scorched the plains and further sowed the seeds of instability amongst the population. 

The irony of such a ludicrous statement was not lost on you. Armin Arlert couldn’t kill Eren Jäger, they were best friends and all of Shiganshina knew there could not be one without the other. You had known the two almost as long as they had known each other. Shiganshina wasn’t so big in those days, Grisha Jäger was the only doctor and Armin’s father was something of a handyman. They were who you called upon when something was amiss and you’d thank them with a warm meal or something sweet. That was what you did in those days, you showed kindness wherever you could. They were so simple, those days when the walls kept secrets and our minds were shrouded with ignorant bliss. Some mornings when you woke before the sun had yet risen, you wished Paradis could have remained tucked safely beneath the blanket King Fritz had pulled over the island. 

What little sense of communal affection remained dwindled with calls to action that erupted from the square.

This morning, the sense of longing that had settled between your lungs weighed heavily as you listened to the shouting. You wished the clock would turn back and the next time you woke, you’d be ten years old and the house you lived in would be your home. It was sort of a sick joke, to be given the keys to the house built upon the rubble of your family's home. Floch handed you the keys as if he had done you this great personal service when it had been Eren, Armin, Mikasa, and their friends who had dug through the wreckage to salvage the home they too had lost. Vagrancy was tiring and what little money you had to your name after years of working for meagre wages that just barely covered your expenses, maybe you should have been grateful to at least collect a few pieces of your life before even if they jagged and misshapen. Something was better than nothing, wasn’t it?

It had to be. 

There needed to be some reason for you to keep going. Lately, there didn’t seem to be any. Everything felt wrong. The once-cobbled streets were made of smooth even stone that allowed you to bounce around the city with ease, it reminded you of the capital. As a child, you often felt jealous that Wall Sina was home to such niceties while you were made to trip over protruding stones and wade through mud puddles in the wet months. Now though, you’d give anything for a semblance of a distant past that would make Shiganshina home once more. But as you lingered around your old haunts, searching for familiar faces and memories that would ease the pain in your chest, all you’d find was something new and foreign that left you feeling disappointed.

Turning over onto your side you curled inwards, a soft sigh passing your lips as you willed your mind to banish the longing that gnawed at you. The cool breeze that glides through your window leaves goosebumps on the bits of flesh that aren’t being swaddled by your thin white blanket. All the battle cries seemed to have simmered down as the sun inched closer toward the middle of the sky. You might be able to catch the morning market before they pack up their wares for the day if you leave now. Your icebox was pathetically empty, with only a head of rapidly wilting lettuce and milk to occupy the space. Sitting upward with a yawn, you cast a glance toward your dresser. Your clothes hang sloppily over the side of the open drawers. You should probably tidy things up before the hour grows too late.

The sleek, mousy brown floorboards that make up the second story of your house do not creak as you pad across the room—your chest aches, though you’ve grown desensitised to the familiar feeling. Your house used to creak and groan when the wind blew too roughly, and the walls were thin enough that you’d wake to the sound of your mother humming as she prepared breakfast for your family. You tried not to dwell too hard, if anything you should have been relieved. An unexpected storm wouldn’t dare to blow the roof off your house now. 

Plucking the soft, brown wool knit cardigan off the lip of your cracked door you slipped the fabric over your body. Your delicate muslin nightgown did little to keep the morning chill away. It did even less to preserve any ounce of modesty. Your bare feet slapped against the stairs as you headed downward, and a soft knock sounded at your door. Pulling your cardigan closer to your body you sighed. It must have been Mrs. Bergmann from next door coming to check on you, make sure you left your house this week, let in some fresh air– function as any other human would, that sort of stuff. She had been widowed long ago, her only son had been one of the many scouts to give his life for a free Paradis. There wasn’t much for her to do aside from checking in on her neighbours. She was a wife, a mother– it was in her nature to nurture all the little lost souls she came across.

“I’m coming Mrs. Bergmann,” You called, your voice echoing around the empty space that would have been your living room, “You don’t need to call in Werner to bust down the door just yet!”

Forcing a smile to your lips, you prepared yourself to open the door. Mrs. Bergmann was well-meaning on the best of days, if a little nosey on the worst. It was better to have someone than no one at all, you remind yourself, pushing back the urge to blanche and roll your eyes at the urgency of her knocking. Rubbing the sleep from your eyes, you hope your hair wasn’t too gnarly after all the tossing and turning you did last night. The door opens with a soft click as you twist the knob open.

Shock blows through you as you blink at the person on the other side. Your eyes frantically open and close, trying to make sense of who stood before you but as your synapses fired off round after round, searching for something, they found nothing.

“Armin?” You timidly ask, your throat twists up and grows dry.

The syllables on your tongue felt wrong. Maybe, the muscles had just forgotten how his name tasted. As a child, his name rolled off your tongue sweetly and constantly. Back then, there had been too many emotions packed inside your small body, you could never make sense of them, all you knew was that they all led back to the man in front of you. Your cheeks warmed at the reminder of the crush you used to harbour, of how you’d write your name and his, silently calling yourself Mrs. Arlert as if she hadn’t already existed in the form of his mother.

Armin’s cheeks grow round with the shy smile he wears, “Hi,” he says. The remnants of his boyhood live in the soft curve of his jaw and the cherub-like softness of his rosy complexion. 

“Hi,” you breathlessly whispered as you searched for any other lingering signs of familiarity. 

“May I come in?” he asks, his nervous hands smooth imaginary wrinkles in his sage green tie. The breath is selfishly stolen from your lungs by the greedy, monster who lived inside of you. They swallowed back the traces of your youth, you hoped it was enough to placate them because as long as your breath was hitched, no words could come forth.

Armin’s blue eyes curiously peered back at you from beneath his pale blonde lashes. He was still quite pretty, but the edge of maturity that marred his features made your heart flutter in a way it never had. The desperate longing that clawed at your rib cage slowed, pawing instead as its interests morphed into something more amorous. You would have beaten it down if you could, shame prickles your skin as you clear your throat.

“Of course,” you stutter, opening the door to make room for him to enter, “You’ll have to excuse my appearance, I wasn’t expecting any guests this morning.”

His smile is polite, “What about Mrs. Bergmann?” He inquires, his eyes darting around to drink in the interior of your house. It looked just like the one he was raised in but it had been twelve years since he stepped foot in one. The scouts lived in barracks that were carved out of long-since abandoned castles, “You seemed to be expecting her.”

“Ah, not exactly,” you muttered, offering him a seat at your dining table, “She’s just the only visitor I have as of late … So, what brings you by?”

Armin declines the seat, instead pulling out the chair opposite of him for you. You thank him with a small bow of your head. His knuckles brush against your shoulders as he slides his fingertips along the edge of your chair before swinging around to the other side. In a world of boys, Armin Arlert was a gentleman, as he always had been, even at the age of ten when boys took to tugging girls' pigtails for attention. His grandfather would be proud of the young man he’s become. You think Mr. Arlert would have been proud even if all Armin did was survive.

The warm yellow sunlight filters through the windows and turns Armin’s hair a shade of bleach blonde. His skin is tanned, his cheeks rosy. He looks healthy, he’s a bit taller too. His hair was different too now that you took a moment to look at it, only slightly so. The shaved undercut reminded you of the short, stoic captain whose charge Armin was in for years.

Insecurity stirred in your belly. You thought of what you might look like to him being so dishevelled in nothing but a nightgown and cardigan. Unkempt, that is how you must have appeared to him. The bike in your stomach burns at the back of your throat as you cross your legs and tuck as much of your body beneath the table as you can. 

“I just wanted to see you,” he says, resting his linked hands on the table, “It’s been a while since we last spoke.”

It’s been over four years, the bitter overly insecure voice in your head hisses, “It has, but you’ve been busy, saving the world and all,” you say instead, tucking a few strands of hair behind your ear, “Honestly I must confess, I'm a bit surprised, I thought you and the other ambassadors would be meeting with the Queen.”

What you truly mean to say dangles in the air. Armin can feel it, he shifts in his seat— why wasn’t he with someone more important? How did he manage to sneak past the Jägerists predatory gaze? He shouldn’t have been here. The anguish that wrought the shores of Paradis couldn’t be fixed with a measly conversation but surely, it was a start so, why was he here with you?

“She met our boat at the harbour to ensure our safe passage into the city,” he explains, picking at his fingers, “We’re still trying to coordinate with the army but they’ve agreed to allow free reign of Shiganshina so long as we remain unarmed.”

“It would be rather counterintuitive for peace ambassadors to bear arms.”

Armin lets out a small chuckle, smiling a bit to himself.

“But, they’ve already proved their incompetence in thinking trained soldiers need weapons to fight,” you muttered, casting your eyes away from him, “I … My apologies, I shouldn't speak ill of your comrades.”

“They’ve dissolved the Scout Regiment, I’m no longer a soldier and they are not my comrades,” Armin swiftly replies.

He fiddles with his tie again, flattening out the fabric with scar-riddled hands. The last time you saw him, his skin was surprisingly unmarred. Old scars you could have sworn imprinted his skin ceased to exist, something to do with his newfound titan ability, that’s what Eren said when he rolled up his sleeves to expose his own blemish-free body. It seemed unnatural then, for the pieces of personal history to be erased but Armin felt alien enough without you reminding him of how much he had changed. 

“Yes, but-”

“How are you doing?” He interrupts, and an apologetic look swims within the depths of his baby blue eyes. His time in the military was a touchy subject, which was to be expected but it didn’t wash away the burn of curiosity that ribbed at your bones, “When I last wrote to Mikasa, she said she hadn’t seen you in some time in spite of being neighbours.”

Pursing your lips, you sigh, “I’m doing well Armin,” it’s a bald-faced lie but the two of you have become so estranged, Armin couldn’t know you the way he once did, not when so much time has washed the imprints you’ve pressed upon each other as it brought in the tide, “How are you?”

“That’s not an answer,” Armin frowns, the dip of his lips making his cheeks round in a way that reminds you that he is only twenty-two, “I haven’t seen you in four years, I … I want to know what your life is like.”

Reaching over the table, Armin takes your hand in his. If he notices the irritated and oozing flesh around your cuticles, he keeps it well hidden. Smoothing his thumb over your knuckles, Armin settles his eyes on yours, taking in the two little lines that have been carved into your skin from how often you furrow your brows. There was no “correct” way to tell someone that you spent most of your afternoons curled up in bed, lying listlessly as you listened to the sounds of the bustling street below. Armin had a penchant for worrying, he’d worry about your well-being when there were far more important issues for him to focus on. 

“It’s not so different from before.”

Armin was unconvinced. Eight years ago, after the Scout Regiment took control of the central government, a bit of money was sent your way in addition to your rebuilt childhood home. Though they wouldn’t say it, you believed that Eren, Armin, and Mikasa felt guilty for abandoning you the moment they turned twelve thus becoming eligible to enrol in the Cadet Corps. You had no interest in joining the Scouts, Military Police, or the Garrison but Eren was determined and wherever Eren went so too did Mikasa and Armin. With no family and no friends, you had to fend for yourself. It wasn’t so bad. A woman, you could hardly remember her name now, paid you to care for her youngest child while she and her husband worked, and their older children attended school. She gave you room and board, fed you three square meals, and gave you “hand-me-downs” to wear.

In the chaos of Trost being breeched you became separated and weeks later learned that the family perished. You used what little money you managed to save to pay for board in an inn near Jinae where you worked as a stable hand until your childhood friends and their comrades came bearing gifts. You’d need to find work soon. Now that you were of age, you were sure to find a cushy job as a barmaid at the local tavern. 

“You think it is?” You asked, biting on your bottom lip.

Armin nods. His grip tightens and he mutters a low, “Sorry” when you wince from how he accidentally squishes your fingers beneath his.

Shrugging your shoulders you think back to the before much like you did most days, “Paradis is being run by lunatics who worship a dead man,” you blanche, your chest preemptively tightening from your nerves, “That’s not so different to before when this shitty little island was run by lunatics who worshipped the walls.”

Except now, people actually paid mind to the chirping loons. They had access to weapons that could wipe out what was left of humanity and certainly were unafraid to use them. Crossing them would be a very stupid and very dangerous mistake. Bravery was what this island prided itself on, now the most one could muster was a contempt-filled glower that was sent in passing. 

“That’s not …” Armin’s voice trailed off. There was that look of guilt again. 

“I know.”

Lacing your fingers between his, you squeeze Armin’s hand.

“It’s not your fault, Armin,” you assure, your mouth twisting up into a strange smile. The muscles in your face seemed to ache as though you were contorting your expression, “You know that, right?”

He nods his head, and strands of his pale blonde hair fall against his forehead as he does, “I know,” he whispers with conviction though his hand trembles in yours. You remain unconvinced, guilt rolls off his shoulders in sickening waves.

“It’s not Eren’s fault either.”

You’re unsure why you say it. It was Eren’s fault. It was his name and his image that they fought for. Whatever politics happened behind closed doors did not matter, not when he died knowing that those men and women idolised him and would wage wars in his name. One spoiled fruit rotted away the entire crop and now Paradis was ready to cosign its doom, picking on the weakened and the damned as if this island had not once been just the same.

“Thank you,” Armin mouths, his voice barely audible as he clears his throat and replaces his expression with a friendly smile.

“I guess the trains are different,” you blurt, looking for a way to steer the sinking ship that was this conversation, “I’ll never get used to them, they’re so loud and dark inside.”

“Glad to know our hard work is being appreciated.” 

You lift the corners of your lips to smile at him, “It is, the horses are very grateful to no longer be worked to the bone by merchants transporting goods from Maria to Sheena,” you say, nearly forgetting that there no longer was an interior or exterior to name, “Life here is still simple, Armin, there isn’t much to update you on.”

“Still-”

“We can’t all be heroes,” you jest, nudging his foot beneath the table, “So, tell me what is life like for you?”

Armin withdraws his hands from yours, “It’s all I talk about, I don’t want to talk about it with you,” he explains, swallowing thickly, “Is that okay?”

“Of course it is.”

Rising from your seat you round the corner of the small table to press the palm of your hand between his shoulder blades. The gesture is meant to be comforting but you feel awkward, like you shouldn’t be touching him like this though your body craved the knowledge of what his skin would like against yours. The tips of your fingers graze the edge of his crisp collar, you hastily jerk back, eyes narrowing to inspect the fabric for any unwanted crinkles you may have caused.

“I’ve been such a bad host,” you mutter, “My mother would be so disappointed that I haven’t asked you if you’d like anything to drink.”

“Tea if you have any, please.”

You nod again, you still have some dried chamomile that Mrs.Bergmann gave to you when you confessed to her that you struggled to sleep some days. The tea didn’t help but it was the thought that counted. Goosebumps trailed up the length of your bare legs and you cursed yourself for not excusing yourself to dress before you sat down with Armin. The early spring air wouldn’t warm until the late afternoon most days. 

Armin’s gaze is heavy. He watches you flutter about your kitchen with keen intent. His eyes slither up your body in a methodical manner. You’re unsure if he’s leering the way men unabashedly do when they’re three pints in or if he’s searching for any indication that something might be amiss. You hope it’s the latter. It should be the latter, you didn’t feel uncomfortable and Armin wasn’t one to steal eyefuls of others.

“Do you still like it with milk and honey?” you ask, though you’ve already reached into the icebox in search of the milk you knew was in there. Hopefully, it hasn't yet spoiled.

You flinched when you rose to your full height. Armin had materialised behind you. The jug nearly drops from your hand but Armin is quick to wrap his fingers around the handle, overtop of your hand. He guides the jug to the counter and reaches an arm around you to take the teapot off the heat before it can release a shrill squeal. 

Pressing your hand to your chest, you murmur a breathless, “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” Armin chirps.

His eyes bore into yours, he’s inspecting you once more. Whatever he’s in search of, you’re certain he isn’t going to find it. The girl that he once knew was not the same woman that stood before him, nor was he the same boy even if his eyes twinkled just the same. That was growing up. Your stomach grumbled, licking its chops as the wanting returned. Your eyes trickled down Armin’s face until they settled on his cupid's bow. His lips were full and a dusted pink colour. They were nice, you remember wondering what they’d feel like against yours if it’d hurt to kiss him after he’d bitten his lips raw with stress. 

The sharp edge of the counter digs into the plush flesh of your hips as you press your body against it. Hunger is as frightening as it is all consuming. You are hungry. Are you hungry for him? You’ve craved and yearned for places and their people, but never their bodies. The one time you allowed a man in your bed it’d been out of curiosity and some twisted need to feel something, anything other than the dull twinge of melancholy that sprouted from the roots it planted in your heart. 

Armin placed his hand on your chest where your heart was. The heat of his palm melted through the thin fabric of your nightgown, causing you to instinctively shiver, “Your heart is racing,” he comments, his tongue darting out to lick his lips, “I didn’t startle you, did I?”

“No.”

“How is Annie?” You nervously ask, searching for a way to stifle the deluded desire that coursed through your veins, “Last I heard from Hitch, she had been freed from her crystal and joined you. That must have been exciting, being able to speak to her after so many years.”

His face crinkles up into a confused expression, “Annie is fine, they’re all fine. Connie and Jean are excited to see their mothers,” he replies slightly, cocking his head to the side, “Why do you ask?”

You shrug your shoulders. Armin doesn’t remove his hand. Your heart skips a beat, you’re sure he feels it. 

“Was just curious I guess, since I heard you had feelings for her.”

“Annie and I are friends, nothing more,” his nose crinkles, he seems to want to ask where you hear such a ludicrous rumour but doesn’t. When he wasn’t with the scouts, he was with her crystal, talking as if one day she might answer back.

“Oh.”

“Are you seeing anyone?” Armin counters, his long pale lashes fluttering against his cheek as he blinks, “You’ve always been … quite the catch.”

His voice trails off, he regrets his wording. He didn’t want to liken you to fish or cattle but of all the vast information stored in his brain, there seemed to be nothing on complimenting women. Not that he’s done much of that in his lifetime. There’s never been a need to. Armin wants to compliment you, to tell you how he really feels but it gets clogged in his throat as he struggles to get a read on you.

Shaking your head, you avert your gaze.

It’s not for a lack of trying or wanting. None of the relationships you pursued ever felt right. Their hands didn’t fit within yours the way they were supposed to. Your body was hallowed out in the middle but they couldn’t fill you up. It wasn’t their fault. You’d accept that you were broken, someone who simply wasn’t meant to be loved. It was easy. Until now, when the one person your heart still clung to stood here and dangled himself like a carrot.

“Good, you’re too good for anyone on this island,” his proclamation makes your skin itch. Even if what he said were true, you would have to settle for someone on this island eventually, lest you spend the rest of your life as alone as you are now, “You deserve someone who’s good enough for you.”

You nearly laugh, though he makes this statement with such earnestness that you’re almost inclined to believe him. Almost.

“Who then?”

Looking into his eyes made your lungs ache. There was nowhere to escape with how he pinned you in place with his gaze.

“Who’s good enough for me?” You ask, your nails digging into the wood counter as you curl your fists around the lip of it, “You?”

Armin rolls his eyes and the sight alone shocks you, “No, I could never be good enough for you,” a laugh springs forth, crackling past your lips before you’re able to stop it, “Is something funny?”

His cheeks turn red with embarrassment but there's nowhere for him to hide either.

“No … Yes, actually,” you sigh, expelling all the air from your lungs as you muster up the resolve to be truthful, “I have loved for as long as I can remember and I have wanted you even before I even knew what love truly was.”

Your fingers coil around his wrist, intent on wrenching his hand away from your chest but the look in his eyes stops you. Sadness and self-loathing meet in the bright blue pools of his irises. You were born six months before he was but he’s always seemed years ahead of you. There was a certain kind of wisdom that surrounded him, you weren’t sure why. Now though, whatever maturity that shrouded Armin vanished and all that lay beneath was a newborn fawn that teetered on legs far too long for him.

Your nails dig into the cuff of his jacket, crinkling the pristine fabric, “There is not a day that goes by where I haven’t thought of you.”

“I’m no good for you either,” he says with a wet laugh. His eyes shone with welled up tears that had no business blurring his gaze.

“Because you’ve killed people?” You ask, your brows furrowing as you frown, “There are many people who have done worse for less. At least you had a reason.”

“I could never be the man that you need me to be.”

“Not even for an afternoon?” You had always known his future held more than your own, even before he became humanity's saviour. He’d make his peace with Paradis and leave, maybe he’d come back years from now, or maybe he’d plant his roots elsewhere.

His hand trembles as he shakes his head, “No.”

Pressing his forehead against yours, he releases a shaky exhale. You bite back the urge to ask him once more why he was here. You were never that close as children, you were close in a way that all of Shiganshina was but never anything more than, at least nothing that would have meant this unannounced visit was appropriate.

“Why?”

“You should live a quiet life,” Armin whispers, his lips nearly grazing yours as they move to form each syllable, “A happy life, after all you’ve been through, you deserve it.”

Your eyes flutter shut, “And you don’t?” It’s a stupid question, really, if he believed he did this conversation wouldn’t be happening, “You’ve been through far more than I, you’ve lost so much more.”

“I have even more to atone for.”

His bottom lip quivers as he presses the weight of his body into you. He’s heavier than you could have imagined, and his body is harder too. Somewhere between now and then his lithe frame melded into lean muscle and it serves as another reminder of how much time has passed, how little you two knew of each other now. Trailing your fingertips over his shoulder, you slide your arm around him, pulling him into an embrace. Armin shudders in your hold, a meek whimper slipping past his lips as he crushes his body into yours. Your nails press into the sliver of skin that peeks over the lip of his collar. 

It's the nape of his neck.

When titans were simply the monsters that hid beneath your bed and plagued your dreams, it was common knowledge that the way to snuff them out was through the nape. It felt oddly vulnerable for your hand to roam over the smooth expanse of skin, though even as a titan shifter it was no weak spot, it may well have been with the way his body shook in your arms.

“That doesn’t mean you aren’t allowed to live or to love,” you whisper against the shell of his ear, “You get to love now, you get to be loved. Armin, you’re allowed to have things and to want things even after all that has happened.”

Armin sniffles, pressing his nose in your hair. The scent of the lavender soap you’ve used for as long as you could remember still clings to your hair. You wonder if he remembers if that is why he burrows his face deeper until the tip of his nose and his lips brush against the skin of your neck. 

Wanting was hard.

So little felt tangible and on the off chance it was, it remained just out of reach. Like a tease, that brushed your fingertips as you outstretched your arm before pulling away or a glimpse of the sun before an array of clouds moved in from across the sky. You couldn’t remember the last time you wanted something. Whatever it was you felt for Armin simmered lowly on a back burner until now, longing did not serve survival. Still, you wanted him but not in the way magpies coveted shiny trinkets but in the way the stars longed for the moon. It was a constant, all consuming yearning that made your stomach twist inward at the strange sensation.

“I don’t even …” Armin trails off, his voice wet with emotion, “I can’t remember the last time I allowed myself to desire something.”

Leaning back, Armin allows enough space for him to look at your face. His cheeks are pink, blotchy, and shiny with half dried tears that pooled atop the apples of his cheeks. Cupping your face with the palm of your hand, he smiles sadly at you.

“But, all I have wanted for years was to know what it is like to kiss you.”

Your body burns, not with embarrassment but something else.

“Is that all?” You ask.

The corners of Armin’s mouth twitch upward, “Maybe not but I let go of those dreams long ago.”

“You kept this one, why?”

“Wishful thinking, maybe or … ?” Armin says, scrunching his brows together as he trails off, “You’ve always been here, you’ve been a constant in this ever changing world so I suppose I hoped there’d be a day where I could …”

“Kiss me?”

Armin bashfully nods, biting his lip a bit.

The shiny metal kettle of water grows cold in the length of time you and Armin spend silently staring at each other. He assesses you, slowly, looking for any signs that your affection for him remained buried in the past. You spoke in the past tense, and your words were too easily misconstrued. Your hands slip to cup the underside of his jaw. All this waiting, all this thinking was maddening when you knew exactly what you wanted. His face replaced those of all the men you kissed, his body manifested in the throngs of taverns like an apparition to taunt you. You wanted to kiss him more than you wanted anything else in this world.

His skin was warm to the touch, you’re sure yours is too. You feel warm like you’ve been dipped in melted candle wax. A bit of stubble tickles the palm of your hands and it makes you giggle. His hair is so fair, you didn’t even notice. Armin’s shoulders tense as you lean in, insecurity claws at your throat but you’ve already taken the leap. You were too far gone now to change your mind. Gently grazing your lips across his, you give Armin a chance to back away but he only leans in closer, his calloused thumbs bite into the soft edge of your jawline as he instinctively squeezes you.

Armin’s lips are slightly chapped and scabbed over in a way that tells you he still nervously chews them when he’s worried. He’s inexperienced, that you were expecting, not that you were particularly tactful with how you clumsily melded your mouth against his. Though, he didn’t seem to mind as he eagerly attempted to mimic each movement. The thread of want that coiled around your stomach roared, begging for your attention as pulled away.

The small noise of disappointment that gathers in the back of Armin’s throat does not fall deaf upon your ears. But, you feel ravenous. If you didn’t slither away now, you’d consume him, bones and all, before he’d even had the chance to register that you sunk your teeth into his sternum. You feel ravenous. It makes your skin itch. Your fingers twitched, they desperately wished to burrow themselves into his flesh to feel how his heart thrummed for you.

Through lidded eyes, Armin peers at you, “Just like I thought,” he says, his cheeks somehow deepening in colour.

“What do you mean?”

“One kiss and I’m gone,” he explains but that doesn’t smooth the confused furrow from between your brows, “I want more, I don’t know how I’m meant to live on knowing what it’s like to kiss and never being able to again.”

Your nose scrunches as you frown, “Say who?”

“Pardon?”

“Who said that I’d never kiss you again?” You ask, smoothing your thumb along the length of his stubbly jaw, “Because, I never said that.”

“I just thought-”

Looping your arms around his neck you sigh, “Stop thinking so much,” you whine, allowing yourself to relish in the knowledge that he too wanted more, “Sometimes things are far simpler than you make them out to be.”

Armin bashfully dips his chin for a moment, his heat filled gaze cast away which offers you some reprieve. Only for a short moment, though. He faces you once more in an instant. You can see it swimming in the pools of his irises, the want, the hunger. It’s something you never imagined to be reflected back to you, least of all from Armin. It thrills you all the same, your skin prickling with electricity that crackles to life when he reaches for your hips.

It’s gentlemanly, how he rests his hands respectively over your body with a feather light touch that may flee should you move too quickly. You want more though, you wish he’d take claim to you the way you the way your cunt ached for.

“Are they?”

You nod, fearing your voice would somehow betray you.

He too nods, far more thoughtful than you were, “You know, I loved you too, never had any doubts of what it was,” he muses, his adam's apple bobbing in his throat as he swallows, “It never faded either even when I lost and confused about what came next.”

His admission makes you bristle, your ears perking up in search of any misspoken syllables that may have deluded you. There were none. There was no mistaking what Armin had confessed. It doesn’t feel real. You’d pinch yourself if Armin’s watchful gaze was pointed anywhere but you. That alone was proof enough that this was very real, Armin just confessed his love for you.

“And you?” Armin asks.

“Huh?”

Your heart pounds, screaming over the sound of Armin’s voice. You suck in a shaky breath and will your heart to calm down. In all your years of wanting, of yearning, you never imagined what it would be like to have your feelings reciprocated. You assumed neither of you would live long enough for anything to come to fruition. But you could hope now, right?

“Did your feelings for me ever fade?”

“No … no, never,” admitting out loud that you pined after a boy for nearly two decades would have made you feel pathetic if it wasn’t Armin who pulled the truth from where it coiled around your ribs,  “Even if I wanted them too, they never would. You’re it for me, you’re the only person I was made to love.”

You didn’t fancy yourself a dreamer. At least, not after everything was said and done. There wasn’t much to dream up, but if you were to dream or indulge you’d tell him that there could never be anyone else because your souls were tied together. It was a terribly selfish thought but it was true enough that you felt inexplicably tied to Armin. Even if this day passed and you never saw him again, your heart would remain his until you both returned to earth.

Armin kisses you before you’re able to backpedal on any of your words, almost shyly, but still eager enough that his need rolls off his body in waves and crashes into you. His nails press through the thin material of your nightgown to nip at your hips. You’re reminded of just how strong he has become in all your years apart when you feel his muscles ripple through his forearms.

“Armin,” you sharply whisper between the desperate press of his mouth to yours, “I want you.”

It’s an unfinished thought. There are too many words that could come next and not enough actions to convey what it is you want. Threading your fingers through carefully styled hair, you tug at the strands. Armin keens into your mouth, one of his hands shooting out to grasp the edge of the counter you were pressed against. Having braced himself, he’s careful not to put too much of his weight onto you as his body melts into yours. 

“I’m right here,” he says, with a slight laugh.

Resting your forehead against his, you sigh, “I want you,” you repeat, untangling your fingers from his hair to fiddle with the top button of his shirt. You flick it open, slowly testing the waters. There’s a sparse patch of flaxen hair that leads your gaze past his collarbones, “I want to be close to you, close with you…” 

Your whisper, wanton words did little to clarify what you meant, Armin’s confused stare was fixed on your swollen, kiss bitten lips. Popping open another button, you glare at his tie. It constricts the fabric of his shirt from spilling open any further. Pulling the tongue of the tie out from where it’s neatly tucked in his waistband, you tug on it until you’re nose to nose. You swallow thickly, your gaze trailing down the expanse of his neck. The muscles strained beneath the skin as he nervously clenched his jaw.

“Oh … Oh.”

The red in his cheeks deepened. He looked a bit like a tomato but it was rather endearing.

“...Yeah?”

He nods a bit too quickly, “Yeah,” he agrees, biting his bottom lip, “I want this, I want this with you.”

Tentatively, Armin rests his hands on your shoulder and thumbs at the worn wool of your well loved cardigan. The fabric is slowly peeling away from your body, slipping down your biceps to pool in the crook of your elbows. Your heart flutters, it’s a strange sensation and for a moment you wonder if it’s healthy. It can’t be, not with how your stomach lurches alongside your heart. Unfurling your fists from his tie, you straighten your arms and allow your cardigan to unceremoniously fall to the floor.

“Are you sure?” You ask, your fingers skimming the delicate neckline of your nightgown. You weren’t yet so overcome with lust that you forgot yourself or Armin’s apparent lack of experience.

His hands replace yours, “Yes,” his skin is clammy but so is yours, the sheen of nervous sweat that gathers along your jugular feels disgusting when laid overtop of goosebumps but you can’t will either away, “You’re special to me … there isn’t anyone else I would want to do this with.”

“You’re not just saying this because you want to die with no regrets?”

You cringe at the crippling edge of insecurity that creeps over you, mentally slapping your hand in shame. Bad! You silently scold. You wouldn’t blame him if he did. In spite of all that happened, the future was never promised, you both knew that much. There was no shame in wanting to taste all life had to offer just in case. It was human nature.

“I’m going to live a very long life,” Armin says with a confident smile. Such sureness would usually make you roll your eyes in annoyance but Armin doesn’t say it to be boastful– even if he had, he’d have earned it– he says it matter of fact, he will live a long life in spite of everything, “And so are you, there’s no need to think in half measures filled with worries because we’re going to live long beautiful lives filled with everything we could ever want.”

It’s a pretty picture he paints but you can’t help but whisper, “We are?”

Smoothing his calloused thumbs along the column of your throat, Armin exhales, “Yes, we are,” you almost believe him, his optimism was just that convincing, “I’ll make sure of it.”

Armin tugs on the loop that keeps your nightgown tied closed, not minding that the two of you still stand in your kitchenette and it’s his first time. He gently guides the thin cotton fabric open to expose your chest but doesn’t move to pull the cloth from your body. In turn, you push his jacket off his shoulders and toss it to the floor with your cardigan. He unbuttons his shirt, letting it fall open to reveal his lithe abdomen. 

“You’re so pretty,” he whispers, walking backwards at your behest, “You’re the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen.”

His brows shoot into his hairline when he bumps into the edge of your table, “I never pegged you to be such a flatterer, Mister Arlert,” you tease, pushing his chest until he takes the hint to hop onto the tabletop, “You tell all the girls that?”

It’s easy to wear a smile and play the part of a bashful lovestruck young lady. It’s only half a performance. There were parts of you that have long since been buried amongst the past lives you lived. They seemed to come back to you with each puff of breath that passed your lips. You slip in and out of you were and you could become. It’s frightening and thrilling. You like the rush you get when he smiles back at you. It’s megawatt bright and wide enough to take up most of his face. You wonder if he feels it too, the pieces that come together like a puzzle. He must, that’s why he smiles and allows himself to indulge in the perilous depths of wanting that lap at your bellies.

“No,” he playfully rolls his eyes, his fingers splaying out as he presses his palms flat against the table, “Only you. It’s only ever been you.”

Your stomach somersaults, you could get used to the feeling, the flirting, being desired earnestly. 

You’ve been desired before but those men didn’t desire you, but rather the idea of you, your house, even your cunt, but never really you. They never filled you with empty promises, their intentions quite clear from the first shared mug of ale. It never bothered you before but now it does. You wish you didn’t fall for their promise of something good when the real thing was so much better now that you had it in your grasp.

The tip of his shoe just barely grazes the floor as he swings his leg back and forth, stepping into the space between his spread legs, you graze your fingertip along the length of his thigh. The metal of his belt glints in the warm morning light. You should probably bring him upstairs, to your bedroom. You worry if you do, you’ll lose the nerves that have steeled over to service the aching monster in your belly. Tomorrow he might think you crass, perhaps he would even sooner when the haze of desire faded and he was left with the weight of his indulgence.

“May I? 

“Yes, please,” Armin breathes, shuddering a bit when you place your hand on the buckle.

His hips twitch upward, seeking the warm touch of your hand. Daring to cast your gaze downward, you rake your eyes over his growing bulge. His belt clinks open and you suck in a nervous breath. You’re about to ask if you can unbutton his dress pants when he whispers another small plea, his breath heavy.

A few strands of hair slip over the edge of your shoulder, Armin tucks them behind your ear with a pleased smile. His cock springs forth when you pull the waistband of his underwear downward. The wispy trail of hair that disappears beneath his shirt is a shade darker, but just as fine as the hair on his head. Your mouth waters at the sight of his rosy tip, precum oozes when you gently squeeze the base of his cock. Slowly pumping your hand up and down his length, you glance at Armin.

His bottom lip is squished between his teeth, hiding the sweet little sounds that travel up his throat. You strain your ears to listen, your eyes boring into his. He blinks but holds your gaze. He frees his bottom lip and allows his jaw to hang open when he realises that you’re listening to his sounds. Armin doesn’t have to be quiet, he can loudly indulge in his pleasures so he does. Softly moaning your name with a goofy, lovestruck expression on his face even as he jerks his hips up to match your rhythm. 

“Does that feel good?” you ask, internally cringing as you wrack your brain for something to say. You wonder if you should stay silent, but words may be more comforting. 

Armin’s head bobs as he nods a bit too quickly, “Yes,” he moans as he digs his nails into the splintered wood of your table.

He uses his other hand to curl his fingers around your wrist, the one that wasn’t languidly working his cock. Armin squeezes your wrist too roughly like he forgets himself and his own strength, your brows crinkle in pain but it’s easily masked as a look of concentration. You don’t mind though, the pain reminds you that you’re alive, that this was real and not just the machinations of an overactive imagination. Armin shudders when you use your thumb to spread some of the precum gathered along the head of his cock down the shaft, allowing your hand to slide more smoothly.

Your name is  sweet on his tongue, the syllables roll off it in a way that makes you think it belongs there. Like Armin was meant to say your name like this for the rest of eternity. 

“I want to touch you too,” he pants, between wanton whimpers. The smooth silver of skin that he clings to isn’t enough, “I want you to feel good too.”

It’s difficult to say no to Armin when he asks so sweetly, “Okay,” you say, bringing your linked hands up to your mouth to press a kiss to the back of his hand, “Lay back for me, okay?”

Armin does as you ask without question like a dutiful dog obeys its owner. You hitch your legs over the edge of the table and settle atop of his thighs. Hiking the hem of your nightgown upward, you guide Armin’s hand between your legs to where your bare, wet pussy clenches in anticipation. Your cunt aches with need and your chest squeezes at the slight brush of his calloused fingers across your folds.

“Touch me here.”

“Like this?” he asks, curling his fingers to rub against your throbbing clit, a shiver rolls through your spine.

Cupping your hand over his, you encourage him to make a few small circles, “Mhm, just like that,” you shudder, your breath halting when the table creaks beneath your shared weight, “It feels good, Armin.”

Seeming satisfied with himself and the way his name melted past your lips, he replicates your movement. You feel feverish with need as the urge to burrow yourself within his sternum consumes you. It melds with the pinpricks of pleasure that dance inside your belly as your muscles tense. It’s a terrible fate– to be ensnared by Armin Arlert. You don’t believe his promises, no matter how saccharine. It’s devilish for him to touch you, you’ve decided. Like with your kisses, how were you meant to go on without Armin ever touching you like this again? But, you’ve learned to manage your expectations. Dreams were called dreams because they were never meant to be anything more than something to wish on as a child. Even if he did still love you, there was too much distance between what became of your life and what became of his. 

Pleasure burns your belly. It singes your insecurities but doesn’t snuff them out in their entirety. It’s just enough to chase them away and leave nothing but bliss in their wake. Your head feels like it’s been stuffed with cotton. Your chest heaves with haggard breaths, and your nightgown slips open to reveal the supple skin of your chest and your breasts to Armin. His gaze is respectful as he drinks in the sight. He moans to himself and marvels, it’s quite endearing. You like it, you don’t feel dirty or ashamed for your wanton ways, how could you when Armin drinks you in like you’re a perfectly crafted mountainside that has been crafted just for his admiration?

“Armin,” you sigh, “I need you inside of me.”

Wrapping your fingers around his cock, you slide the head between your dripping folds. Armin’s body wracks and his shoulders shake as he quivers with need. He moans your name once more, and you commit the sound to memory, for those cold and lonely nights that never seem to end. Your shoulders tense when you press the tip to your hole. It’s been a while, the stretch burns a bit. But, it’s nice. Your eyes roll back into your head and you curse under your breath. 

Armin slopes his hand around the nape of your neck, “Can I kiss you?” he all but moans, “I want to kiss you again.”

His rosy cheeks grow round when he offers you a bashful smile. You kiss him, your tongue and teeth clicking against one another as you sloppily move your mouth alongside his. You’ve never been much of a multitasker. It’s hard to focus on much else aside from the mind numbing pleasure that distracts you. He hasn’t stopped rolling your clit between his fingers and as he swallows up your moans with desperate, fevered kisses, you wonder if he’s enjoying how much of a mess he’s made of you. 

Your heart throbs in a funny sort of manner when you sink all the way down the length of his cock. The feeling of fullness spreads to the tips of your fingers all the way down to your toes. You hate how complete you feel, the fact that a small part of you wishes you could bottle the utter feeling of contentedness that warms you. The hunger and longing that lives inside of you never felt satiated, not once in the decade since it burrowed behind your lungs. Now though, they purr happily like a fat cat who’s had its fair share of the cream.

The taste of salt dabbles on your tongue, “Why are you crying?” Armin asks, his voice laced with concern, “Is something wrong, does it hurt?”

Swiping your fingers across the top of your cheekbones you confirm that those are your tears and not his. They spill past your lash line and there is nothing you can do to stop them. You don’t feel sad, even with the mess in your head you know that much. You sputter for a moment, desperately searching his face for an answer but nothing comes.

“I’m just so happy,” you say though you’re unsure where those words come from but they flow freely before you can stop them just like your tears, “I like being this close to you, I want to stay this close to you.”

Forever.

That’s the word that should complete your sentence. You keep it clutched to your chest where it’ll remain safe so long as you’re vigilant.

You knock your hips forward to silence whatever endeared sentiment Armin is about to form. His brows press together in concentration. He’s nearing his end, you can feel it in the way he throbs inside of you. Your tears are gently wiped by rough hands, you hardly register them. It’s difficult to focus on much as he plays with your clit and dutifully matches each flick of your hips. He’s a quick learner, he always has been. You wonder if he’s storing your reactions and sounds for later so that if there was a next time, he’d do exactly what you’d like without instruction. The end nears for you too, it lingers amongst the obnoxious groans from your table as you rock your hips. The sounds of skin bare slapping marry your shared, debauched whines. They’ll haunt your walls tomorrow and the next. 

They haunt you right now.

You didn’t think you were capable of feeling so serene, but you do. You’re untouchable as you chase your release. It lays in the palm of Armin’s hands. You’ll eat straight from them if you have to. The coil in your stomach tightens for a moment and your breathing becomes staggered. Armin is no better, he sputters small half breaths between needy whines of your name. His forehead rests on your shoulder, and his sweat dabbled hair sticks to you. Strands of your hair cling to the nape of your neck too. The cool breeze that slithers across your house makes your heated skin break out with goosebumps. It doesn’t bother you though, nothing could bother you now.

“I love you,” Armin whispers into your skin as he cums, holding your body close to his.

A few more tears well up as your orgasm washes through you. Your thighs shake and you struggle to bring your arms around his torso. His tight embrace makes up for it as they lay limply by your side. Your flush skin is peppered with affectionate kisses and his nose is nuzzled into the crook of your neck. You feel loved, you haven’t felt it in a while but it felt similar to this. The earnest way he embraces you without a second thought is imbued with love. Lifting your tired arms, you curl them around his body. Your nails dig into the hardened flesh of his back. They leave a few crescent moons to join the myriad of battle scars and freckles that have returned to him.

‘“I love you too.”

You wish you could say it was true for the moment but it’s not. It was true because you did love him, you loved him in a way you weren’t sure you were capable of loving anyone else. If Ymir the Founder had left her people with anyone before erasing herself and her titan kin from existence, you think it might have been eternal love. The kind that wasn’t possible of fading, even when you didn’t understand why.

Hours pass and you find yourself in your bed once more, on the edge of waking and sleep you register the lack of sunlight. You don’t remember exactly how you made your way upstairs but you do remember two strong arms holding you close as you allowed slumber to cradle your tired mind in its embrace. The other side of the bed is still warm, but your blanket is tucked snugly beneath your chin.

There’s a letter on your bedside table and a glass of water. You make out the letters of your name and the promise of return but you choose not to read any further. Laying in silence you wonder if she’s still out there, your creator, the founder. If she was, you hoped she would listen to your pleas. You were strong, but you weren’t strong enough to spend the rest of your life waiting on a lost life whose remains had long since returned to the dirt and earth.

You prayed that the Jägerist’s stupidity would fall deaf to Queen Historia’s ears and that when you awoke next, there’d still be a head of blond hair next to you with long pretty eyelashes and rosy cheeks that told all his secrets. 

He was too far entangled in your rib cage. You were far too comfortably curled around his aorta. Armin may be able to withstand it but you weren’t. After all this time, you really hoped you could be happy. Even with all the strangeness that came from estrangement, you felt more alive with Armin than you had in all the years of living in Shiganshina. It was a shell of its former self, with the ghosts of yesterday's past filling all the nooks and crannies. You too easily allowed yourself to become one of them, the ghosts but you didn’t half to be a ghost, you could want things just the same as Armin could.

And you wanted him to come back to you so the two of you could experience that future he was talking about.

Mr. Arlert did not raise a liar or a man who’d break promises. Your chances were good. You could be happy. All the lost parts of you could return and maybe you’d feel whole again, and maybe you’d welcome the warmth of the sun on your skin the same way you welcomed Armin back into your life. 

You deserved some ounce of happiness too. 

© all content belongs to dearbraus. do not modify, repost, or redistribute.

[leclerc-s]

karma is the guy on the track

series masterlist

fernando alonso the last time we did max almost ended up in american prison.

max jones-verstappen well that guy should've kept his hands to himself.

zoya torres wait, what happened last time?

isabella perez oh, max punched some dickhead who didn't know what no was. oscar piastri what she forgot to mention was that the guy tried groping her and then penelope. zoya torres yeah, i would've punched him too.

sebastian vettel no inchidents this time please

charles leclerc seb, let it go!

lewis hamilton someone's getting arrested this time

logan sargeant probably max or daniel.

daniel jones-ricciardo i would argue against that but i, too, would throw hands to protect one of the girls. max jones-verstappen i would do it again.

zoya torres wait, where was carlos during all of this?

carlos sainz i was trying to stop charles and pierre from running into traffic. pierre gasly see, it's best i don't remember what happened that night. charles leclerc i second that.

mick schumacher who's posting bail if one of us gets arrested?

lewis hamilton seb, nando, and i got each other covered.

max jones-verstappen i say the people dating bail each other out.

natalia ruiz i agree.

oscar piastri i hope logan gets arrested.

logan sargeant fuck you, what did i do? oscar piastri YOU PUSHED ME IN THE OCEAN AFTER MONACO DICK! logan sargeant i forgot i did that oscar piastri WELL I HAVEN'T FORGOTTEN ASSHOLE!

rowan todd this is my official petition to get is it over now as a surprise song

isabella perez OH I SECOND THAT! daphne jones-ricciardo noted.

daniel jones-ricciardo i vote endgame as a surprise song

lewis hamilton i knew the nonsense outros were unhinged but oh my god, they caught me so off guard.

isabella perez can't wait to show christian the videos

max jones-verstappen i literally hate you so much freya vettel that's a fucking lie and we all know it.

natalia ruiz i agree, you've grown attached to her

max jones-verstappen she's like mold.

daphne jones-ricciardo glad to announce that no one got arrested.

mick schumacher we're saving it for vegas

lando norris the things i do for you people.

esteban ocon get over it muppet, we'll still celebrate your birthday in vegas lando norris good, the jetlang is about to be insane.

carlos sainz you're the one who wants to fly to vegas to have a party there for your birthday! this is your fault

lando norris blah blah. you're just old

sebastian vettel i hope you all enjoy vegas, but i won't be going.

lando norris BUT IT'S MY BIRTHDAY! sebastian vettel i know, i gave lewis your gift. would've given it to bailey but i know you would want to snoop through her things.

bailey winters it's true. last year i hid his gift in my luggage and he found it.

lando norris i'm a snooper, what can i say.

fernando alonso this is official petition for rowan and pierre to NOT get married again!!

pierre gasly you people never let anything go

rowan todd okay, it was one time. it's not like we're going to do it again.

mae jones-verstappen seb, you have to be at vegas!

sebastian vettel and why would i mae?

max jones-verstappen i regret to inform everyone that mae want to have a party in vegas and announce our marriage by hosting a fake wedding. and since seb officiated the monaco wedding, he has to be there for vegas.

arthur leclerc at least someone is going to do a vegas wedding right

pierre gasly you know what little leclerc? dulce perez i will run you over french fry. pierre gasly nevermind

sebastian vettel fine. but only because i like mae.

mae jones-verstappen VICTORY!

fernando alonso he's going to regret this so much.

lewis hamilton at least jenson will stop complaining about not being invited.

fernando alonso oscar can invite the other half of multi-21 sebastian vettel LET IT GO ALREADY!! fernando alonso NEVER!

taglist: @burningcupcakefire @arkhammaid @sunflower-golden-vol6 @applopie @lorarri @mypage-myfandoms @bb-swift @thewannabewriter @you-bleed-just-toknowyouarealive @stopeatread @hobiismyhopeu @lilsiz @alessioayla @niniluvsainz @au-ghosttype @cowboylikemets1989 @justtprachisblog @rmeddar123 @nichmeddar @landonorizzz @unluckyyoshi @Mimolovescookies @brekkers-whore @natcha888 @camdensreg @mycenterfold @dear-fifi @prongsvault @kaa212 @anxxiousaries @julesbabey1 @julesbabey @georgeparisole @Smnthnclj @dan3avocado @melissayalene @nothanqks @nikfigueiredo @bella-1 @namgification @jensonsonlybutton @chezmardybum @d3kstar@weekendlusting@anytimeanywherebitchblog @ragioniera @burberryfilms @trouble-sistar @lesliiieeeee @leclercsluv

strikethrough means i couldn't tag you

¡leclerc-s speaks! anyways, we're ignoring the rumors because mentally i can't take any more silly season right now. i am choosing to ignore the rumors and believe alex is moving to ferrari in 2025. delulu is truly the solulu on this blog.

¡disclaimer! this is in no way making assumptions about the people involved in this story, this is all fake. it is a fanfiction please don't take any of what is said seriously. this is all for entertainment purposes and as a creative outlet for me. enjoy!

[iwhyzumiihajimee]

chefs kiss [ hq imagine ]

pairing: Miya Osamu x fem.reader

content: after outing, Osamu takes you to his home to cook and bake for you as promised. You struggle with self worth and you both open up to one another in the process.

genre: fluff/angst imagine, timeskip! au

word count: 2.9k

author's note: tbh this was originally written for iwaizumi, but i thought it would fit osamu character as well.

credit towards original artist (art work below)

Osamu opens up the front door with a smile, letting you go ahead of him. Once inside, the house has some things laid out for cooking that he talked about earlier. You notice a couple of pictures on the wall of him playing volleyball with his old High School team, so you can tell that it was an important and precious phase in his life.

“I was going to make a cake, but I think I can do something a bit simpler, as long as I can spend time with you. What do you think?”

Observing his place he brought you back to reality, and you responded with a nod "Mhm... I'd like that.

He smiles. “Then come on, let’s get to it. I’ll even make you lunch after.” He gestures for you to follow him and he leads you into the kitchen. He starts getting out some ingredients and putting some things together in bowls. “I’ve done this lots of times, so I can do it pretty fast now.” He smiles, he knows that he is very good when it comes to things in the kitchen. His hands are quick and sure as he moves around a lot.

"Was cooking and baking something you started as a hobby very early?"

He chuckles. “It's almost definitely my favorite thing to do. It's fun to be creative and see what I can come up with, even with simple dishes, like the one I'm making right now, I try to put some personal touches to it. Plus, it's fun to share it with other people. Cooking is awesome, I can't imagine my life without it now. But, it also helps that I'm lucky enough to be very good at it, so I'm glad I found this passion in my life.”

You admired his response. Because you were nowhere great or had the passion of cooking and baking. As long as you knew the basics and got something edible to eat on a plate then, it was all good. "Well seeing in the kitchen makes you very attractive." You said as you kept watching him.

He laughs and shrugs. “I don't know how to respond to that. But I'm glad you think so.” He smiles as he continues prepping everything. He seems quite confident in his cooking and baking abilities, and he seems pretty focused. He seems to really be enjoying himself, the cooking process is very relaxing for him. After a couple more minutes, he has everything ready that he needs and he starts mixing it all together.

"Need help?" You couldn't help, but asked. Him moving around so much made you anxious and just chilling across from him waiting patiently was not your thing. You're more hands on and want to make sure both of you are entertained.

“Sure, you can help me, I can tell you're interested in it too. Do you know your way around the kitchen? It's not actually too hard, I think you can do this.” He smiles at you and hands you something to mix together in a bowl. He seems more focused on you than he does on the cooking process, like he wants to include you as much as possible.

"Tell me what to do, chef"

“Just mix it together with both hands for about 5 minutes. I can teach you other things too if you want.” He leans in closer to you, watching your hands carefully as you mix the ingredients together. So far you guys have been getting along very well, and he loves that you seem to be learning this new skill fairly easily. It seems to be making him extra attracted to you, if that’s possible.

"Yes chef!" You say following his directions

A few minutes pass by and he checks the mixture. “Okay, keep going for a couple more minutes, I think it just needs to mix together a bit more. I can show you other recipes later too, but this is a really simple one.” He smiles at you and it seems to make him extra happy that you’re willing to learn more.

Finishing up being his assistant, you come back to you seat across from him. He comes over and gives you a quick kiss before finishing up his dinner preparations. “Alright all, it’s almost done. We just need some time to let everything come together, but I think we have enough time for you to see the end product.” He looks very happy with the way the dish turned out, there’s definitely a sense of pride in how it turned out. He then brings out the dish we made and it looks great.

He has it set at the table and he pulls you in for a kiss before starting to sit down and eat. “I really love cooking for you. You make me so happy. I feel really great when I’m with you, and just being able to make something special like this makes it all even better. I’m glad you really seem to like this dish too!”

Osamu watches you take your first bite, and you savor the taste. Tasting each flavor as it melts in your tongue.

"Woah~ this tastes amazing!"

He smiles and gives you another kiss. “I’m really glad you like it. My dad taught me this recipe, and it’s one of my favorites, and now you are my favorite person to cook it with.” He laughs softly, it seems like he really enjoys your company as much as he enjoys the cooking process.

"Aww appreciate that~ Now your kiss gives it extra flavor..." You joked.

He laughs at your joke, he’s very proud of this meal and your compliments only make him feel better about it. He can’t help but kiss you again, he just feels so happy with you. After finishing your plate, he grabs some ingredients out of the cabinet to get ready to make a dessert. “Let’s make dessert next, we gotta get something after this incredible meal. I’ve got a pretty easy recipe for that too, you think you’d like to help me?” He looks at you expectantly.

"Uhmm... The only thing I can think that's easy are cookies, but whatever you feel is good. I like watching you~" You intertwine your fingers and prompt them up for your chin to rest on as you smiled sweetly at him.

He chuckles. “Cookies are always a good option, but I’ve got a recipe for a chocolate cake that isn’t too difficult. I think I can explain it to you too so you can make it for me too sometimes later,” he says as he gets out the ingredients for the cake, his eyes are always on you even when he’s focused on the cake preparation.

He starts mixing everything together in a bowl. “This is really easy, I’ll tell you the ingredients you need to add and when. I’ll give you the easy job,” he says with a laugh, as it really doesn��t take much effort to mix the ingredients together in a bowl, but he’s still careful to not take the process too lightly either. He’s definitely putting a lot of himself into this cake, he wants it to turn out perfectly. It’s kind of like he wants your relationship to turn out perfectly too.

As you listen to his instructions and the way he explains everything in each detail. You understand his metaphor and you melt.

After some time the cake was already out of the oven and cooled down. He adds frosting and gives you a taste. You licked his finger subconsciously and the frosting tasted yummy "Mhmm!~" You hummed in happiness.

His eyes widened for a quick second when you licked his finger, there was definitely a small reaction. He looks at his finger and chuckles awkwardly for a second, but quickly he smiles again and keeps putting on the frosting. “I’m glad you like it. This was one of the first desserts I learned how to make all by myself. It’s one of my favorites because of that.” He’s very proud of this cake and the result. You can tell it means a lot to him.

He continues to frost up the cake and every once in a while he brings up his frosted up finger for you to taste.

He blushes as you lick his finger. It’s kind of cute how excited you are when you’re licking the frosting. He seems kind of turned on by it too. He continues to cover the cake in frosting, slowly icing the rest of it up with it. You patiently wait smiling, then sighed watching him.

He smiles as he watches you. Even though he is putting the frosting on the cake, his eyes are still on you. You can tell that he just really likes being around you. Once the cake is covered in frosting, he finally finishes the cake and sets it on a cake plate. He takes a deep breath and looks at it for a moment, making a mental note of the cake and how well it turned out. He starts to cut the cake and he makes sure to give you the first piece.

"Ehhh?~ It's soo goood!~" You faked cried as you took the first bite, then you take another piece and give him a taste as you two shared the piece.

He takes a bite of it too, and he seems even more impressed than before as his eyes light up while he takes a bite. “Oh man, this is really good, it turned out perfectly. I can’t wait to make more stuff like this with you around!” He smiles and leans in and kisses you on the cheek. He’s still so happy with the cake and he’s glad that you think it’s good too.

You continued to feed him pieces of the cake slice he gave you, and you enjoyed it as well. He then notices you had frosting on the side of your lips and he wipes it with his thumb and brings it over to his lips. He tastes it with a playful smile.

“Mmm, that’s really tasty frosting, it tastes even better on you though,” he says with a little laugh as he leans in and gives you another kiss. Your eyes widen and you blush away.

He’s still licking his lips after tasting your frosting. He looks straight into your eyes when he sees that you’re blushing. “You’re so cute when you’re blushing.” He leans in and whispers into your ear. “You taste good too.” He gives you a quick kiss on the cheek before smiling and cutting another slice of cake for himself.

As he did this, you suddenly got shy and quiet as you continue to eat.

He continues eating as well for a few minutes before he looks over at you. “Why so quiet?” He seems really happy with himself and the way this night is going.

"Ehm, you make me a little nervous, that's all."

He chuckles. “Sorry. It's nice being a little nervous every once and a while. The excitement can be fun too. Does it really make you that nervous?” He seems to be taking it as a little bit of a compliment.

"You attract me..." You glance to his eyes quickly and quietly say.

He looks surprised for a second and he smiles. “Wow, well thank you. I think I can say the same about you too though, you’re very attractive.” He seems to like the fact that you find him attractive and he’s taking it as a compliment. After taking a few more bites, he looks over at you and he can’t help but find you just as attractive as before. “You’re even more beautiful looking at you now.” He smiles and leans in to kiss you again.

He kisses you as he still had a piece of cake in his mouth which ended up in yours. He releases from the kiss and you then swallow the piece of cake he transferred to you.

He pulls away from the kiss and smiles. “You’re even better if there’s cake in your mouth. I could kiss you all night like this if I could,” He leans in to kiss you one more time, still impressed by all the flavor you give off. “I can’t get enough of you though,” He seems very sincere about this.

You shyly look away with your flustered face. He seems to love how shy you get, it’s really attractive to him. He leans into the kiss even more, and his hands move towards your hips while he does so. He takes his time with the kiss and you can feel that he really wants you. He seems to really like this side of you that comes out when you’re shy. He leans away with a smile on his face, he really enjoys taking his time with this kiss. “You’re super sexy when you’re like this.”

He pulls you up to the counter where you sit and he holds you between his arms at your waist. This surprised you, and you responded with an uhmm...

He smiles and kisses your cheek before saying “You’re very sexy when you’re like this, and I really want you in these moments. Is getting lifted up the part that makes you nervous?” He leans into you, his arms holding you close as he gives you his full undivided attention.

"A little... Your whole presence gets me nervous. You're too good for me..."

He seems a bit taken aback at this. He looks at you with eyes full of surprise. “I think the opposite. I don’t think I deserve you. You’re so beautiful, and it’s unbelievable how lucky I am to have gotten you in my life. I could not ask for someone more perfect to love.” He smiles and kisses you again in hopes of conveying his feelings. He genuinely thinks that he is not worth you, you are out of his league.

Shocked by his response- "Me? YOU'RE wayy out of my league... You were an amazing athlete, you can cook, your place is spotless, you're caring, loving, good looking... What is it you don't have? You have everything figured out and settled. I'm nothing compared to you."

It takes him a second to respond to what you’re saying, but eventually he leans in again to kiss you so as not to interrupt you. “That’s not true at all though. Being an athlete doesn’t make me better than you. If you saw the practice I put in to get to where I am now, what most people don’t see, you’d see how imperfect I am, just like you’re saying. But with you by my side, I’ve finally felt complete. I’m missing one piece, and that’s you.”

You held his shirt as you tucked your head leaned into his chest, having the sense of hiding. Every emotion hits you as you recall your past and the hardships you went through.

"You're dedicated, well mannered... Everything a girl wants... I'm not-"

He takes your hands in his, his eyes wide as he looks directly into yours. “No, you absolutely are. You are just as dedicated as me and you’re kind and selfless. You’re everything I could ask for and I truly mean that. I don’t see why you think so lowly of yourself, you’re amazing. I can’t ask for anything more than you.”

You let a tear drop as you tried so hard holding them.

He wipes those tears away and wraps you up in a hug, comforting you. “Hey, hey everything’s ok. I don’t ever want you to doubt how amazing you really are. Don’t cry, I know that you’re more than enough for me. You make me the happiest I’ve ever been, just being your boyfriend is the most satisfying thing I can ask for. Please don’t doubt yourself, I won’t stand for it.” He wraps you even closer, trying to cheer you up.

Letting out a breath to calm yourself down, "Sorry... It's been a while since I heard anyone appreciate me..."

He seems genuinely surprised at this again. He was not expecting you to say that. He takes a quick breath and leans in close to you. “You don’t hear that enough? I know that a lot of people talk down to you or don’t think much of you, but that is the one thing I can’t handle. You are too amazing to not have those close to you recognize that.” He seems genuinely upset about the fact that you don’t have people that appreciate you. You’re just too precious for anyone to think that.

He hugs you back, tightly now as you cry. “Hey hey no need to cry. I don’t know what you’re dealing with exactly, but there is no need to cry because all of that is behind now. Look, I promise that I’m here for you and I’ll always do what I can to make sure it’s all behind us. Ok? Are you feeling better now?” He seems to mean it as he talks, he really wants to comfort you and make sure you’re ok.

You nod and slowly pull away, "I'm okay, just needed this... Gosh I ruined the moment."

“Nah you didn’t ruin anything. I love being there for you whenever you need me. All I want is to be able to put a smile on your face and make you feel happy. You didn’t ruin anything at all.” He seems to mean every word as he looks at you.

[strongheartneteyam]

Get your shit together so I can love you.

Pairing: human!jake sully x female!human!reader

CW: angsty, so angsty, established relationship, MIGHT BE TRIGGERING for some audiences, disabled person feeling insecure about their body, fluff, crying, yelling, cursing, sexual language, hurt, comfort, sexual content, mentions of sexual fluids, foreplay, mentions of fingering, jake touching reader's pussy. Please, tell me if I'm missing something 🥲

Author's note: This AU is set on 2009. Jake is just a regular 24 year old former marine who ended up losing the movement of his legs permanently after an unfortunate accident that happened while he was fighting for his country, amidst a terrible, unforgiving war. The reader is a 21 year old regular human girl. There is no sci-fi or aliens involved. I totally understand if it's not your cup of tea as it's almost not canon at all to the Avatar Universe. I guess I just kept most stuff canon to Jake as a character. As I said, it's an AU. Just call me Miss Marvel and call this a version of Jake that exists somewhere in the wide multiverse 😂 guys I'm way too sleepy and exhausted that I'm starting to sound a bit drunk... gonna shut my piehole up now. I hope you guys like it. ✨ I need to sleep ughhh ✨

Not proofread. Sorry, my babies, momma is always too tired n running low on time.

❃

I tapped on your window on your darkest night

The shape of you was jagged and weak

There was nowhere for me to stay, but I stayed anyway

You fire off missiles 'cause you hate yourself

But do you know you're demolishing me?

And then you squeeze my hand as I'm about to leave

Renegade (Big Red Machine feat Taylor Swift)

❃

You walked to your boyfriend's house, watching the starry dark sky above. It was a full moon night, its pale light bathing your skin as you thought about how you missed Jake. You had just gotten back from a family trip yesterday and hadn't had time to go over to Jake's house to see him yet. You were so anxious to see his face again that you didn't even bother to call him to let him know you were about to come over.

When you got there, as soon as you opened the door with the copy of the keys Jake had given to you, you saw a miserable looking man sitting on a wheelchair, staring at the wall, eating a burger and fries and drinking beer. You swore to God one day you'd slap his hand and tell him to eat healthier. He ate junk food and drank way too much. His face was grumpy and a little sad at the same time. But it was your Jake. It didn't matter to you that he always looked like he was done with everything, he was so freaking handsome and charming, so, you could get past his moodiness. At the end of the day, you loved him so very deeply it made you feel like there was not enough space for so much love inside your body.

"Hey, babyyy!" You say, locking the door behind you "Sorry for not calling before coming over. I'm gonna stay the night, okay? I missed you so much..." You walked towards Jake and kissed his warm cheek, leaving the keys on a piece of furniture nearby

"Hi, baby. I missed you like crazy. I'm so glad my girlfriend is back here with me." He smiled at you. That was the first time he smiled, in a truly happy way, that night. You were the light of his life, he always felt better when you were around. He had missed you like a mad man, especially at night, when he looked at pictures of you/the both of you together on his black laptop. "And I gave you the keys for a reason. No need to say sorry. It's not like I go out on Wednesday evenings anyway.. Or any night of the week" He laughed in sarcasm. "I'm always here at this time." You laughed a bit and he took another bite of his burger

"I'm gonna take a quick shower, ok? Be right back" you said loudly as you walked to the bathroom

The day you and Jake had decided to be in a serious relationship, after you let the words "I love you" slip off of your mouth, by accident (you didn't even know if he crushed back on you, let alone reciprocating your feelings), Jake was so insecure, thinking you were just playing him, that it took him one week after that happened to finally say "I love you" back. You were getting sadder and more impatient as time passed. When he finally did, it was through texting. When you saw the message in your cellphone screen, your heart raced like a wild horse in a big forest.

ত

Later that night, you and Jake were cuddling, half sitting, half laying on the couch. Jake watched a movie on the television as you tried to read a book. But your attention span was equal to zero. You felt your boyfriend's warmth beneath your body, so comforting, so inviting. You wanted him so bad. You two had been together for almost one year and no sex had ever happened. You were starting to think that maybe he didn't find you that attractive, after all. That thought was like a rusted knife digging into your heart.

You closed your book since you couldn't go past the same sentence you were reading and re-reading all over again, too many times.

You moved your body from where it was and sat on top of Jake's legs, straddling his lap, taking him by surprise. He looked at you wondering why you suddenly gave up on your book if you had been bugging him for months about how bad you wanted to read it, but, you preferred reading a physical copy, as you told him, so he bought a copy for you that he found on sale just so you could stop talking to him about the same thing over and over. But he was actually just kidding, inside his own mind. He bought it for you because he knew you were gonna get really excited, just like a little child, and thank him by showering him with kisses. He loved being kissed by his pretty girlfriend.

"The book wasn't interesting enough, babe? Weren't you dying to read it?" He chuckled and then smiled, placing his big, warm hands on your thighs, making the small, thin hairs of that part of your body stand on end

"I just can't concentrate right now. That's all..."

"Is everything alright?" He noticed the angst in your expression

"Jake... We've been together for almost one year now, and... we haven't had sex yet. Don't you... don't you feel the need to do it with me? Do you still feel attracted to me? Why do you never try to initiate anything other than kisses and caresses? You've never even tried to touch my boobs... and you told me you loved them, over texting"

"Wait, slow down a bit" Jake asked of you and you stopped to breathe a little "Of course I feel attracted to you." He put a small lock of your hair behind your ear, so he could see your beautiful face better "I want you so bad... so fucking bad, you got no idea, girl. You drive me insane, my girl. I can't resist you when you're sitting on my lap like this" He caressed your face softly, light blue eyes staring at your own

"Then don't. Don't resist me. You don't have to. You just have to let me kiss you and touch you and show you how wet you make me, without even doing anything crazy, just by touching my skin like this and letting me sit on your lap."

"Baby, I...I can't" Jake looked down, sadness clouding his beautiful face. You hated to see your boyfriend like that. Why didn't he realize he didn't need to be so insecure? You loved him, all of him. No matter how badly he always talked about his legs or the fact that he couldn't do even basic day to day activities easily, because of his disability, you didn't care. You loved him. Freaking loved him to death.

"Why not?!" You were desperate for an explanation

"I could never be all you need. I wish I could but that's wishful thinking. Don't fool yourself, (y/n)."

Your eyes got filled with tears and you felt a lump forming in your throat. It was like your chest was sore, bruised from his harsh words.

"You are all that I want! All that I need, Jake! Why can't-"

"Don't make it harder than it already is, (y/n)!" The blonde guy interrupted you, his words colder than ice, burning your skin, already so sensitive from from taking all the hurt Jake was causing you by not letting you just simply love him right, be his girlfriend... "Get off me, please." So freezing cold...

You were a crying mess already, so, you felt so weak you just obeyed him and stood up, leaving him free from your body. Jake transferred himself from the couch to his wheelchair as fast as he could. He then started wheeling himself away from where you were

"Please...Please!" You say, chasing your crazy boyfriend like an idiot, while he moves his wheelchair fast towards his small room "stop being so insecure and just lemme love you." Jake stops, his freckled pale arms turning the wheels around so he could look at you

"Why do you insist on being tied down to a cripple?! Don't you get it?! You are so, so damn beautiful, (y/n). Your smile, your hair, your body... Jesus, your fucking body... You're so hot. You deserve... a man who can give you all that a relationship can offer. I can't be that man. I will never be him. I'm sorry you don't get it, but it's time for you to move on!!!" He yelled. You've never seen Jake so angry. His face was red, his eyes were gleaming, tears starting to roll down his face. He felt like his heart was breaking in a billion little pieces. He'd rather go through war, become traumatized and then have his spine injured all over again, because, honestly, it would hurt him less than what he was doing to you right now. But he knew he had to do it. "I love my (y/n) so much, I always will. But she should be happy, free from me." He thought

"Stop running away from me, Jacob Sully!" You ordered, as soon as you catch up to Jake, getting inside his room, your breath heavier than normal "I'm warning you, I will take you in my arms, no matter if you say you're too heavy, and I will lay you on this bed, against your will, if that's what I need to do so you will stop pushing me away! And don't ever call yourself a "cripple" again! I swear to God, you're testing me tonight! I won't let you speak like that about yourself. Never again! Do you understand me?!" You almost screamed

Jake sighed heavily, in defeat. With both arms, he started to support himself on his wheelchair, moving his body to the bed.

One he was settled there, sitting down with his back against the cushioned bed frame, he spoke: "Baby, I'm sorry for yelling at you like that... it was wrong. You don't deserve that. Please, forgive me." Looking at you with those eyes he had you on your knees, every single time.

"It's okay..." You looked hurt but your forgave him. You wanted to try and forget that had ever happened.

"I love you... so much."

You gazed at him and felt a need to comfort him

You sat on his bed, beside him and held his hand. After some time, you and Jake were cuddling, you sitting on his lap. He brought his mouth to yours and kissed your lips. You missed his kisses so much that you got wet so easily, just like a virgin would.

Jake grabbed the back of your head with care and deepened the kiss, using his tongue to massage yours. The way he kissed you was leaving your lips slicked with his saliva. You moaned and he held tight on to your waist, heavy breathing, his warm breath colliding with your own, the two of you getting drunk on each other. His lips were crushing against yours and that felt so amazing.

Out of nowhere, he stopped the kiss and when you tried to kiss him again he gently pushed you away, seeming uncomfortable.

"I gotta stop, baby... I can't pleasure you more than this..." he looked defeated

"Of course you can. You have fingers and a mouth, don't you? Then put them to use, baby. Your girl is begging you to pleasure her. Don't you want to help me out a bit?" You started to kiss his neck gently but sloppy. You breathed his scent in. It was so familiar, so comforting to you. He smelled like home. Home, for you, was wherever Jake was, right by your side.

Jake was starting to slowly give in and he let out a breathy moan. You felt happiness creeping in your head, your heart beating faster.

Jake did something that in his mind, was so damn bold. He dared to touch you in a very intimate way - he was as nervous as a teenager having his first sexual experience - moving his hand from the bed sheet until it got to your entrance. Jake's breath faltered as he touched your coated folds gently, his chest tightening while he looked at your face. His light brows furrowing, his demons still trying to convince him that you could not be turned on because of him.

"Sweetheart, you're so soft... just so... so wet." He was getting shaky, aroused as hell, feeling how wet you were for him

He was finally ready to just relax and enjoy the moment, as he touched your coated pussy.

"Wait a bit, will ya?" You ask, getting off his lap, standing on your feet and then stripping down to him. Your clothes were laying on the floor, as you felt a little shy but excited to see his reaction to seeing your naked body for the first time.

"Fuck, my baby. How did I get so lucky? Your body is so fucking perfect...." He put his hand up in the air, towards your own hands and you grabbed it and let him sit you back on his lap.

Jake started to touch your breasts softly, his mouth slightly open, desire scorching his insides. Your skin burned so good beneath his fingers. Then, he placed his big fingers on your slit

"God, this fucking wet pussy..." he was having trouble breathing but he loved the way you messed with his head

"I'm all yours, baby. Please, just let go and make love to me. I need you so bad it hurts me physically." You begged him to put an end to your misery

"Is that what my babygirl really wants?" He murmured, his voice low and sexy, ringing on your ears

"Yes, my love. Please... I'm so wet, Jake... only for you, my baby." You felt his fingers touching your pussy and your body became limp

"I love your pussy, baby. So velvety, warm and juicy. Can't wait to slide my fingers inside of you over and over again until you're all sweaty and whimpering"

❃

[hypersonic04]

Fresh Out The Slammer: Part One

circa 2019. ross is 29, its the notes era. imagine graham norton ross. there's a lot of waffling because I feel like I need to get back into the swing of writing, and also set the scene because this is going to be three parts! so apologies for that. i've missed you all so much and i'm just glad to be posting something for the first time in ages. i hope you're all okay i would love to hear what you've been up to in the, like, five months i've disappeared into the abyss for. I'M WAFFLING AGAIN. sorry. okay. fresh out the slammer! enjoy. i'm nervous. okay.

Word Count: 2,848

Part One: 'Now pretty baby, I'm running back home to you.'

Who were you supposed to call on nights like this? The question seemed to be the only thing your brain circled back to as tears streamed down your face, a sob caught in your throat, heels harsh and loud on the pavement, even over the chaos of muffled bars. Your 28th birthday, stood outside a club that you were probably too old to be at in the first place, phone vibrating with 'where r u???' - who were you supposed to call?

Your birthday didn't feel very worth celebrating when you looked back on the year you'd had, your freshly shattered heart stinging as a very raw memory of being walked out on a week earlier seared itself through your memory. He'd always been a dickhead, the kind of boyfriend who'd told you that he was the best thing to ever happen to you, or that the whole writing thing wouldn't work out, but what did you have if you didn't have him? He'd been a pillar in your life since, well, forever. He'd shown you your favourite holiday destination, your favourite wine, your favourite book - were you just a product of him? The thought panicked you. No, you were cool. You had loads of interests, and friends, and hobbies.

The one thing he'd not shown you was something you'd kept a secret from him.

Your favourite band.

Even now, your stomach twisted as you recalled him and your youth, nights tangled up in bed sheets and clumsy hands on sticky dance floors, the mere thought of his recurring aftershave sending a wave of nostalgia over you as you perched on the ledge, lighting up a cigarette. It'd been years since you'd spoken to Ross. Now that you thought about it, it was probably around the same time Charlie had come on the scene, private-schooled, 5'9, biology-studying Charlie. You'd ignored Ross' messages inviting you to their gigs out of guilt for Charlie (his ego would have been well and truly tarnished), reluctantly un-followed him on Instagram when there'd been questions asked about him, tried to pretend that there wasn't an invisible tattoo of his hand prints at your waist, the memory of his fingertips forever stained in your hair, remnants of his kisses on your starving lips. Nothing has ever come close to Ross, and you'd be lying if you said that when Charlie had been away for work, you'd replayed the reels of your nights together in your mind.

You looked at the time - 3:17.

His number probably wasn't even the same as the one you had in your phone.

You leaned your head back, looked up at the sky, squeezed your eyes shut. There's no way you were about to do this. He probably thinks you're a weirdo anyway, cutting contact like he'd been a random one-time snog in a club. He might not even be in the country, for all you knew, with his world-famous band and world-famous records and most likely world-famous girlfriend. You'd not thought about that up until now - his girlfriend. Perhaps non-existent, probably existent. Jealous curled up your spine, a sick feeling settling in your stomach.

It was like your hands weren't your own as you scrolled through your contacts, brain on auto-pilot and suddenly feeling 20 again, stood outside a bar at university, ringing him to come and get you. The picture you'd set all those years ago was still the same somehow, and it made you swallow heavily - his head pressed next to yours, hair swooped to one side and probably wearing a Hollister polo. You both looked so young. It stopped you in your tracks, almost. You thought of how different things could have been if you hadn't ran away from everything, panicked and settled down like you thought you'd wanted, let him go on tour with the band and forever have the 'what if' hanging in the windows of your newly-purchased house with Charlie. What a success that was.

You pressed it and waited. It rang. And it rang.

As if you'd thought he'd pick up. It probably came up as an unknown number. You felt daft as you held the phone to your ear, tears stinging at your eyes again. The only person you'd thought to call.

Your stomach dropped when the ringing came to a halt and you could hear crackling.

And then his voice. Sleepy, low, tired.

Familiar. Warm.

"Y/n? Can you hear me?" he repeated as you stood in silence, lips pressed together at the sound of his name down the line.

"Ross," you managed to choke out, running a hand through your hair.

"Is everything okay?" he sounded concerned and you could hear his footsteps across what sounded like a hardwood floor, pacing.

"I just..." You looked up again, swallowing. "I'm so sorry."

"Y/n/n? What's going on?" Coming to a halt, his voice softened.

"I'm in Manchester, and I guess I'm kind of lost? I don't know, it looks different than it used to, and I'm on my own. I don't know why I called, you're probably not even here, are you?"

There was silence from across the line for a second and you squeezed your eyes shut. If he didn't think you were crazy before, he definitely did now.

"No, I'm here. I'm in my flat." He said softly.

"Oh, right," Your head was spinning. "I'm sorry for bothering you, I just-"

"Whereabouts are you?"

You breathed in sharply.

"I'm not sure, it used to be that bar we went to every week, but it's changed now, it's a kebab shop, I think." You glance at the neon sign, voice shaky.

"Are you staying in a hotel or anything? I can order you an Uber, or-"

His voice crackled down the line.

"I was, but I've lost my friends, and I've had a drink and I can't call Charlie and I don't know what to do." Your throat feels tighter when you say it all out loud. "I don't know, I called you because it was the only thing I could think of, but it's fine, I can-"

"Stay there," you can hear him moving around, "I'm leaving now."

It felt like an eternity between him hanging up the phone and arriving, perhaps because all you could do was think about how you've ended up here.

The car pulled up slowly and your stomach dropped, the window rolling down and his smile visible as he ducked his head.

It was like your feet were frozen to the ground for a second. His lips curved at the sides, hair messy and just as dark as you remembered it, but his eyes were older. They creased at the corners a little, slightly darker, a bit more tired. It wasn't just you who'd been trying to figure things out since you graduated, exhausted by the demands of post-graduate existence.

"Just move that, sorry." he mumbled as you opened the car door, throwing an empty water bottle onto the backseats. His eyes seemed immovable for a second, like he was having the same thought process as you. You felt intensely vulnerable for a second, and suddenly remembered the ladder in your tights and the mascara stained cheeks that faced him.

"God, it's been so-"

"I've missed you-"

You both started at the same time, an airy laugh escaping as you let the silence consume you.

He started the car without another word. It took everything in you not to stare, or cry, or say how much you'd missed him and how sorry you were that you'd abandoned it all. Instead, you kept your gaze forward, drinking in the streets you'd traipsed as a student.

"We're here." he glanced at you, pulling up outside an apartment block.

"Oh, you didn't need to bring me here, it's okay, I think there's a Premier Inn up the road." You furrowed your brows at him, shaking your head and starting to rifle through your bag. "I've got my card, it's fine, I-"

"It's fine." He said with a slight smile, shaking his head. "You can stay at mine. 'Will be nice to have the company."

You smiled at him softly, in the way you might smile at a cashier or your boss. It felt strange, transactional, like maybe there was a void between the two of you. You'd put it there.

"Thank you." You said quietly, following him out of the car and up the steps.

The lift was creaky and you closed your eyes for a second, the tiredness hitting you. The past two weeks had been a lot, and you'd thought a night out might fix everything.

His flat was just as you'd expected it to be. Records and CDs and books on every available surface, a scattering of guitar picks, some empty mugs, a weeks' worth of unopened post.

"Is it just you that lives here?" You asked as you stood awkwardly in the kitchen, watching him as he put the kettle on and grabbed two mugs. A Macclesfield FC one, and a souvenir one from Germany, it seemed.

He nodded with a hum, glancing at you. "You can get comfy, it's fine."

The fluorescent kitchen light felt exposing as you slid your heels off, placing them neatly by the door with your bag. He handed you the cup of tea promptly after and you followed him into the living room. It was spacious, yet the sheer amount of stuff everywhere made it feel lived in.

"Why couldn't you ring Charlie?" he asked after at least five minutes of the two of you pretending to watch whatever random Top of the Pops repeat that BBC 2 had shoved on for the 4am slot. He looked at you intently, but his tone was calm, simply wondering.

"We've split up." You looked down at the mug, mouth drying out. "About a week ago."

"I'm sorry to hear it." He said after a beat, looking back to the TV.

"Don't be." I shook my head, lips pursed. "Wasn't as good as it seemed, all that house-owner, engaged shit."

His gaze softened, but you could sense his sadness for you.

It's strange, to sit in a room with someone you once slept with on the regular, thought you were going to marry, like people do when they're 19, and feel like you know nothing about them. You could mentally draw him, the identical placement of the birthmark on his right hip, the exact colour of his eyes, yet you couldn't identify which bedroom was his in this flat, or what he'd had for tea the night before.

"I'm sorry for calling you at this time." You said meekly, looking back at the TV.

"I was awake anyway, it's okay." He glanced at you. "It was nice to see your name on my phone."

"I'm sorry for not calling sooner, then." You corrected your earlier statement, watching as his lips tilted into the oh-so-familiar smile your fingers had traced over countless times.

"I missed hearing from you."

"I missed hearing from you, too."

The silence was deafening, almost claustrophobic as you inhaled deeply. His eye contact faltered, skitting back to the TV, blinking heavily. You wondered what he was thinking, whether memories of you under him were also still as fresh in his mind as if they'd happened yesterday.

He downed the last of his tea, sitting forward.

"There's a spare room across from mine, down the hallway. Feel free to get a shower, use some of the clothes in those drawers, whatever you need."

"Thanks." You placed the half empty mug next to his on the coffee table. "Do you have any paracetamol or anything? I can't really hack hangovers anymore, even if it is just a couple of cocktails."

"Could you ever hack hangovers?" He teased as he stood up, walking into the kitchen. You blushed - so he was thinking about those mornings, too.

He handed you the box to take to bed with you, showing you the bedroom.

"There's a clean towel in the bathroom," he pointed to the on-suite, "I'm just in here if you need anything." His neck craned to look into the bedroom behind you, pointing to the bathroom and drawers, but you could only look at him. His tan skin, his tousled hair, neat, tidy beard, the chest hair that poked from the top of his t shirt.

Standing across from each other in the hallway, you could see into his bedroom. Light green sheets, a book next to his bed, a pair of jeans thrown over the end of the bed-frame. You wanted to know him again. To know him, and his life, and his body. Charlie was superficial - his lavish proposals, extravagant holidays, Instagram posts declaring you as 'the love of his life' and lonely nights spent waiting for him to get back from a boys night out. Ross was everything. He was 'picking you up at 3am', remembering how you liked your tea after 7 years apart, dark eyes and curls and haphazardly strewn clothes and empty beer cans on bedsides and you.

"Thank you, again, for letting me stay over." you looked up at him, his gaze already fixed on you.

"It's not a problem."

A second passed before you turned on your heel, a shaky nervous hand reaching for the doorknob.

"Night," You said, with a small smile.

"Night."

You closed the door and watched his turn away, broad shoulders disappearing into the opposite room.

The shower was hot, steaming up the bathroom, as you turned it on. You'd dug out a stripy t-shirt and some joggers you could roll up from the back of the wardrobe.

You tipped your head back in the shower, letting the hot water run over you. The shower gel lathered against your skin, and it felt symbolic, to be washing away the day, the thoughts of Charlie, the fake smiles of your fake friends in fake, pose-y bars. Ross had always felt real to you, the realest thing in this city. He'd been brutally honest with you when you'd needed it, soft with you when he knew he had to be. The memory of your fight flashed into your mind - the last day before you went back home after graduation, tears in his eyes, down your cheeks, raised voices and a final, slammed door. Your eyes opened quickly as you remembered how you'd told him you wanted stability, not to follow his 'silly band around the world'. You hated yourself for it, even now. He's been hurt, like it had meant nothing to either of you, the way you'd got into your car and drove back to your parents with blurred vision, Car Seat Headrest blasting through the stereo as you fled the scene.

You thought about him laid across the hall. Was he wide awake? You tossed over onto your side, duvet pulled up to your neck. It must've been about 5am. You willed yourself to just fall asleep. The sound of floorboards creaking forced your eyes open, but they hushed as soon as they'd chorused through the flat.

The smell of coffee was the thing that roused you from your sleep. So I did sleep, you thought.

His back was to you as you entered the kitchen, the rustle of the TV and clanging of utensils echoing off the walls.

"Morning," You yawned, smiling as he jumped and turned to you. His gaze trailed up and then back down for a second, the sight of you in his clothes clearly taking him by surprise.

"Did you sleep okay?" He smiled. His hair was flat on one side, sleepy eyes, crinkled t-shirt. You nodded, heat rushing to your stomach at the sight of him. "Did you?". He just hummed in reply, pouring water in the mugs.

You sat and ate scrambled eggs on toast. You talked about work. You discussed the rugby, each other's siblings, old uni friends. It felt comfortable, and right, and you had to catch yourself when you stared at him for too long and began to picture doing this every morning.

"We leave soon, though."

"Leave?" You asked, sipping your orange juice.

"Yeah, for tour." He looked up at you from his plate. "Next Wednesday."

Next Wednesday, for tour.

You felt silly for thinking your lives would be sewn together seamlessly, that you would fit into his world like you'd never left.

There wasn't much conversation after that, and it was like you could read his mind for a second. He'd said that to warn you, to prepare you, because he too was imagining this as a constant. This wasn't going to work, and you both knew it. You wanted it to, desperately, and when you left his flat that morning, your eyes welled like they had that fateful day in 2011.

You'd hugged him tightly before you'd left, his arms around your waist firmly, yours around his neck. He was going away for a year, touring the world, and you were going back to your mum and dad's, because where else could you go?

[captain-mj]

G’day Captain can I please request soap and ghost trying to shower together while on leave or after a mission but one of them (Ghost) has the water way to hot so the other (Soap) just sits in the bathroom keeping each other company and giving reassurance that they’re both alive and okay. hurt/comfort or full fluff up to you, gen or teen not explicit please just after some comforting vibes after the game that shall not be mentioned.

Have a great timezone!

Yeah I can write some gentle fluff! Also I saw your second ask and I appreciate it! We're all good dw :)

Ghost and Soap had just spent the past six weeks in the middle of nowhere and Ghost wanted nothing more than to just take a hot shower.

Soap hissed the moment he touched the water. He had been lucky enough to get in a few hours earlier and shower beforehand, but he was clingy as hell after missions, not that Ghost was any better. "Jesus, Simon. Think you could get it any hotter?"

"No. I tried."

Soap groaned and looked at the water and then his skin which had taken a bright red hue. "Yeah, I'm not getting in that."

Ghost finished undressing and got into the water. Any other day, he may have turned the water down so Soap could join but his back hurt too much. He started to wash himself, feeling some humanity sink back into him.

Soap sat at the sink and started to brush his teeth. He listened to Ghost scrub himself clean. "Use the conditioner I brought."

"I don't get why." Ghost grumbled but Soap could hear the bottle opening. "It's just hair."

"I like my men well groomed." Soap answered and rinsed his mouth out. He waited there silently, just listening to the sounds of Ghost.

Ghost hummed softly and Soap closed his eyes.

"Given up by Linkin Park?"

"Bingo."

"Think you could scream for seventeen seconds?"

Ghost mused over it. "Nah. Probably not." He changed the song and it took Soap a lot longer this time.

"Addicted to you by Saving Able?"

"I've let you listen to too much of my music."

"Probably. Let me try." Soap started to hum. He kept with the older rock vibe since he wanted Ghost to have a change. He got two notes out.

"Lips of an Angel by Hinder. I don't like that song. Do another one."

Soap laughed and tried a different one. It was a popular one but Ghost wasn't guessing it. He started to sing the lyrics too.

"Seriously? You don't know Here Comes the Sun by the Beatles?"

Ghost opened the curtain, smiling. Soap brightened and looked him over. "Course I know it. I just like hearing you sing." He pulled on some boxers, stretching. Soap knew he needed to do something or else Ghost would get dressed and put the mask back on, so he attacked him. He kissed along Ghost's face and got his attention.

Simon grumbled but melted right into him. "Johnny..." He pulled him closer. "I'm so glad you're here."

Johnny kissed him softly, running his fingers through Ghost's wet hair. "I know. Glad I can finally be with you again."

They held each other close and hummed softly. Soap traced his fingers over his scarring and Simon purred. "Johnny, you wanna lay down? We can put on a movie."

"Sounds great." Soap walked with him, holding his hand. "Maybe one of your old horror movies?"

"I love you, Johnny."

Soap kissed Ghost's hand and walked with him to Ghost's bedroom. He pressed into him and they snuggled up together. Ghost picked something random. Soap couldn't remember it at least.

They snuggled up together and ended up falling asleep

[matan4il]

Update post:

First, on a personal note, I started my day by calling my family that lives outside of Jerusalem to tell them I'm alive. Two terrorists, residents of an Arab neighborhood of Jerusalem (i.e, not Palestinians, who would have to go through a checkpoint, giving soldiers the opportunity to stop them), started shooting people standing at the bus station at the entrance to the city, using a gun and an assault rifle. Three people were killed, one of them a young woman, 24 years old, one is a 73 years old rabbi, and the last is a 67 years old woman. At least 9 more people were injured, 3 of them are still in serious condition. The two terrorists were neutralized at the scene thanks to three people who fired back, one of them was a soldier who was on a 12 hour leave from Gaza, he was at the bus station on his way back to his unit. The terrorists were brothers, affiliated with Hamas, and both had been jailed for terrorist activity in the past. Some of the convicted terrorists who had been released in the past few days, to free innocent Israeli civilians, are residents of the same Jerusalem neighborhood.

Then there was a second terrorist attack today in the Jordan Valley, in this case the terrorist tried driving his vehicle into a crowd, he was neutralized, a few people are injured lightly.

This is Kfir Bibas.

He's the baby who was 9 months old when he was kidnapped together with his 4 years old brother Ariel, his mom Shiri and his dad Yarden. Hamas first said that the Bibas family was handed over by them to another terrorist organization to hold them. Yesterday, Hamas said the Bibas family had been killed by Israeli fire in Gaza. Hamas had previously said that 19 years old Noa Marziano was killed by Israeli fire, it later turned out that she was murdered by a Hamas terrorist in the basement of the Shifa hospital in Gaza. Hamas also said Chana Katzir was killed by Israeli fire. She was released alive. We're all hoping that Hamas is lying about the Bibas family, and that we will see little Kfir and Ariel again, that this is just another part of Hamas' psychological warfare (i.e, psychological torture).

This is 17 years old Aisha al-Ziadna.

You can tell from her hijab, that there is no way Hamas didn't know they were kidnapping a Muslim teenager when they took her, her dad, and her two brothers captive. We know that on the list of hostages to be released today, there are 2 kids. It was just confirmed that it's Aisha and her 18 years old brother Bilal. I'm so glad for Aisha and her family! I'll also admit that as a woman, I've been more worried this whole time for all the girls and women held captive by rapists. I've heard an Israeli Bedouin saying he believed Hamas was keeping her to be released among the last of the hostage kids, to drive a greater wedge between Israel and its Bedouin population. If Aisha and Bilal will finally be freed today, that would mean 38 of the 40 kidnapped kids and teenagers have been released, and the only two remaining in Gaza are Kfir and Ariel Bibas.

We've been hearing more and more about the conditions of captivity the hostages were held under. I'll emphasize that they were kept separately, so what's true for one, is not necesarily true for all, but the overall picture is grim.

Most hostages were kept underground, without fresh air and sunlight. They slept on benches or on plastic chairs. They were not given the medications they need, or they were given unsufficient doses of them. At least one hostage was released in critical state because of this, 84 years old Elma Avraham. One of the doctors fighting to save her life said that had she been released even just one day later, it would have been impossible to save her. She could have been released on the first day of the deal. She was released on the third. For the most part, hostages were not allowed to shower, they were only given new clothes once, on the day of release, and they had no privacy when using the toilettes (again, think about what this meant for girls and women), when asking to use the toilettes, they were sometimes forced to wait for hours for that. At least one kid (12 years old Eitan Yahalomi) told his family he was forced to watch the horror movies Hamas filmed on Oct 7 under gun threat. I'm terrified for what this must have done to him psychologically. All of the kids are having trouble speaking normally, they were threatened with violence if they do anything more than whisper. The Thai captives who were released said they were abused as well, but that the Jewish hostages they were held with, were treated worse (one Thai man mentioned Hamas beat the Jewish captives with electric cables). All of the hostages were malnourished, some of the adult hostages lost up to 15 kilograms (roughly 33 pounds) over 7 weeks, which doctors said amounts to being starved.

(this is Elma Avraham when checked by the Red Cross during her release. I can't not mention that the Red Cross was supposed to give Israel a heads up if any hostage was in a life threatening condition, which Elma was, but the Red Cross didn't say anything, so it was only after a second check by Israel that Elma's critical condition was diagnosed, and she was rushed to the hospital by helicopter)

(speaking of the Thai nationals who were released by Hamas, they were also taken to an Israeli hospital to be treated there until they can go home. Something that really moved me is that the hospital bought a Buddha statue so that these people could pray, even before they're well enough to be discharged)

One Israeli hostage, Roni Crivoi, managed to take advantage of Israeli fire in Gaza, escape his Hamas captors, and he tried to make his way back. Unfortunately for him, he was captured by Gazan civilians, and handed over back to Hamas. Gazan civilians are also some of the people holding Israeli hostages. One kid hostage recounted that he was locked in the attic of an UNRWA teacher (just a reminder, this is a UN employee), who barely give him food, and didn't provide him with his medication. Another was held captive by a Gazan doctor, a man who provided medical care for Palestinian kids, but betrayed his hypocratic oath when it came to an Israeli kid. And it's been Gaza civilians showing up every night, screaming, banging on the jeeps in which the Israeli hostages were being driven to their release, or even throwing rocks at those vehicles. In fact, as hostages were not told they were being freed, many of them said the violence of the crowds made them think they were being taken to be lynched.

Hamas has been violating the hostage deal repeatedly. There's the rockets fired into Israel 15 minutes after the fighting was supposed to stop, there's the promised Red Cross visits to the hostages not freed, which have not yet happened, there's the separation of kids from their mothers (such as Hilla Rotem... Hamas claimed they couldn't release her mother with Hilla, because they didn't know where the mom is. Hilla indicated this was a lie, as she was held together with her mom up until a day before her release. Or another example is Maya Regev, who was freed without er brother Itay, even though he was 18 years old and they were supposed to be released together), there's the Hamas terrorists who fired and threw explosives at IDF soldiers while the fighting is supposed to be on break (starting on day 5 of the deal, we're now on day 7), there was an attempt to offer kidnapped bodies (Israel was able to confirm that three hostages, were actually killed on Oct 7, and Hamas is holding their bodies captive) instead of living people to be released today (which Hamas tried to claim they had to do since they had no more women and kids to release today... when Israel insisted that wasn't true, and if Hamas doesn't rectify the list, the fighting will resume this morning at 7, suddenly Hamas was able to add 3 more women to the list of released hostages for today)...

On a personal note, one of my two kidnapped colleagues was released yesterday, Liat Atzili, and she's been reunited with her kids, but her husband is still in captivity. We've heard through the released hostages that my other colleague is still alive. That's a bit of a relief, since we didn't even know if there was hope for that, given the fact that he had undergone a surgery not that long ago, and is till need of medical care. This is Liat:

This was a perfect reaction to an American projecting American social concepts onto Israel, where the whole history of the conflict is completely different:

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A post shared by HAVTAM (@efi_lefi)

"Israelis get to be white"

Just a reminder that while Jews come in a variety of skin colors, as the above vid nicely points out, no Jew is a part of the social construct of "being white."

This is Liora Argamani, a Chinese woman, who fell in love with and married an Israeli man. Together they had one daughter, Noa. She was kidnapped to Gaza. Liora is dying from cancer. This is the message that she wanted to share:

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A post shared by Hen Mazzig (@henmazzig)

(for all of my updates and ask replies regarding Israel, click here)

[elliespassagerprincess]

requesting a fic of Ellie n reader running away and their lives kinda suck but they’re still glad cuz they have eachother and they’re away from their old environment and that’s all that rlly matters :) based on things to do by alex g!

things to do - (ellie williams x reader)

Hey anon! this is such a sweet idea! I loved writing this so much. Ily for this. I hope you enjoy it:)

This story is based off the song Things to do by Alex G. If you can please listen to the song as you're reading:)

Pairing: ellie x fem!reader

requests are open, feel free to leave one!

Warnings: toxic households (but there's a happy ending)

Summary: In which they got their happily ever after

Authors note: what?? me writing happy fics??? it's so rare but i love them. Also my surgery is in 2 days, so i'll be post all my drafts and requests over the next two days, so while i recover, so you guys have things to read:)

Thinkin' of things to do

Yeah, only the cheapest things left there for you

And the only thing I learned from you is that there's nothing left

To look forward to

I was asleep for days, and now you're the only thing

Keepin' me awake

The calculator will make the same mistakes

Yeah, I see it in its face

Ellie nervously sat under the tree waiting for you. She anxiously looked down at the plastic bag, silently praying that you'd like the snacks she bought.

"I'm sorry I'm late" you said breathing heavily as you ran towards her.

"Your mom was yelling at you again?"

"Yeah" you said as you sat next to her.

"Sometimes I just want to sleep, y'know? Like sleep without her waking me up and yelling" you admitted.

Ellie nodded in understanding because she too was experiencing the same thing.

Nobody understood the two of you like you understood each other.

You met Ellie when you were 14.

You remember she was sitting alone, and she was crying because she didn't have any lunch. You decided to talk to her.

"My mom also forgets to give me lunch money sometimes, but it's ok! I know where we can get something to eat" you said with a soft smile.

And the rest was history.

You and Ellie became inseparable because you both understood each other. You could comfort each other because you knew what the other was going through.

Whenever things were rough at home for you, you always went to Ellie. Or when Ellie need something to eat you'd always take something extra for her.

All you and Ellie were used to, was yelling, and constant fighting. But when you were each other there was none of that.

There was peace and unconditional love.

"Aw Ellie you should have" you said as she opened the bag to show you what she had got for you.

"Anything for you" Ellie muttered.

The two of you sat in a comfortable silence. And Ellie's mind wondered.

You were such a nice person. You didn't deserve the toxic environment you were in.

Both of you didn't.

Silent moments like these with you always made Ellie happy.

She wished she had more time with you.

She wanted to take you away from all pain. From all the yelling, and sleepless nights, she wanted to keep you happy.

There was nothing left here for her. The only thing that kept her going was you.

The light in her darkness.

You felt Ellies eyes burning into the side of your head. You swallowed the gummy worms you had in your mouth as you turned to her, raising an eyebrow you asked "what?"

Ellie went quiet for a while, until she said something you thought you'd never hear her say.

"Let's run away together"

Hold on tight to this time, this place

'Cause everything you know will be erased

You were born inside your head

And that is where you'll be when you are dead

You are just a boy you are no man and

Nobody you know will understand

You are just a boy you are no man and

Nobody you know will understand

"Ellie I can't just leave, my mom will look for me-"

"fuck your fucking mom! She doesn't care, can't you see? If we leave we'll be free, we can live in peace. Please let's go" Ellie sighed in defeat.

If you chose Ellie you would betray your family, if you chose your family you would lose the only person who kept you sane.

"Ellie I cant" you said quietly.

You felt the tears in your eyes.

Was this really good bye?

Ellie got up and she looked at you with sad eyes "I cant force you, but I hope you're happy here"

She started walking away but she suddenly stopped, she looked back at you without any expression.

"I'm leaving tomorrow night, if you change your mind i'll be at the train station"

She left. She left you alone.

You went back home crying.

You'd just lost the only person, who you truly loved.

You were so fucking stupid.

You walked into your house and you immediately heard your mother's nagging voice yelling: "fucking finally, come here! You need to fix the sink"

you ignored her and you dashed to your room, as fast as you possibly could.

You locked the door, and you heard your mother pound against the door.

She was yelling insults at you, as if you didn't have feelings.

She truly deserves the mother of the year award.

After a while, she left and you were finally alone with your thoughts.

Did you make the right decision?

Ellie sat anxiously at the station, she hoped you'd change your mind. That's you'd show up. For your freedom, and safety.

She'd hoped you'd come for her.

She bit her nails waiting for the train to come in, hoping Joel didn't notice she was gone. She heard the sound of the train pull, and with a sigh she got up holding the strap on her backpack in a tight grip.

You weren't going to come. This was it.

"Ellie!"

Her head snapped in the direction of your voice.

There you stood in all your glory holding a bag. There was a grin on your face.

With your bag in hand you ran to Ellie and she ran to you. The two of you met halfway, and Ellie held you in a tight grip.

If she held you any tighter, surely you would suffocate.

"I thought you weren't going to come" Ellie breathed as she still held you.

You pulled away first, and you leaned forward, kissing her.

Ellie didn't kiss you back at first and you almost wanted to pull away and die, but you soon felt her lips move. You felt her smile during the kiss.

As you pulled away you looked at her with a shy smile "I love you Ellie, of course I came"

A grin spread onto the girls face and before she could say anything the locomotive yelled "departure in 2 minutes"

Ellie grabbed your hand, and she rushed onto the train with you.

The two of you sat next to each other, your hands still interlocked.

"I love you too" Ellie finally breathed.

The train started move, and the nerves you and Ellie felt were finally falling away. You would finally be free.

"To our new life together" Ellie said before she brought you in for another kiss.

Welcoming you back home

The only one that you have ever known

Welcoming you back home

The only one that you will ever know

as Ellie opened the front door the smell of a freshly baked pie filled the air.

This was home.

She walked through the threshold of your shared apartment and she practically ran to the kitchen in search of you.

As Ellie entered she saw you standing with your back facing her. You were humming a familiar tune.

She walked towards you, you felt her arms wrap around you as she started singing with you.

This was home.

The two of you were each others safe spaces. Each others homes.

And Ellie hoped for the rest of her life that she would come home to you.

Home doesn't always have to be a place, it's a person too. And you were that person.

Forever and always.

The best decision Ellie made was running away with you, and she had zero regrets.