#i'm going to go lie down and sleep for a century

[et-in-arkadia]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett Rating: Explicit Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley Additional Tags: Fix-It of Sorts, Humor, Angst, Sex, Assumptions, Misunderstandings, The Mortifying Ordeal of Being Anthony J. Crowley

The last thing that Crowley expects on the day Aziraphale goes to Heaven is to see Aziraphale again that night.

[rottenaero]

Ao3

Part 1

Part 3

Part two to the roommates idea

Whenever the mall ‘burns down’, Eddie is just chilling at home; not doing anything special.

Actually, thats a complete lie. He hadn't seen Steve since he left for his shift the day before, and currently has his band+Wayne scattered in the living room as he paces.

“He may as well be dead, he always calls before staying the night somewhere, and he totally despises that place, so why would he stay after hours?” He comes to a halt infront of Jeff who looks considering. “What?!"

“Maybe, consider, he just forgot to call you." Eddie scoffed, “ ‘Maybe he just forgot’, except you don't know him, Jeff. Steve doesn't forget, tell ‘em Wayne."

Wayne nods from his spot on the lazyboy, “ ‘S true, he'd rather call at 2am than have us worrying.”

Gareth rolls his eyes, “Look Edmund, I get your worried about you boyfriend and all but why did we have to get dragged into this?" He complained, and Eddie began pacing again.

“ Not,my boyfriend, yet, and you’re getting-”

A ringing interrupts him.

The pacing stopped almost as soon as it began, and he darts to the phone. “ Y’hello, it's Eddie talking.” A sharp breath drew from the other end of the line.

“Hey Eds."

Eddie smiled, “Holy shit, Stevie. I thought you died. Wayne and the guys are literally gathered in the living room.” Upon hearing the name, Wayne visibly relaxed, going from hunched over to leaning backwards in seconds.

“Yeah I'm- Well shit not okay but I'm not dead.”In the background there was a noise, barely noticeable but-

“Wait, what? Are those sirens? Are you hurt? What the hell-” Wayne leaned forward again.

“I'm at the mall, there's been, uh, an accident? I don't- they took my keys, I need a ride back home.”

“Who took your keys? Steve you can't just be all ominous and-” The phone line shut off. "Fuck!”

Grant, who hasn't been helpful at all, stood up. "What did he do?”

Eddie groans, running a hand through his greasy hair, “Needs us to pick him up, might be hurt. He's such a- Wayne we're taking my van, you guys coming?”

Turns out the answer is yes.

-

They arrive at the mall five minutes later, mostly because Eddie was driving like a bat outta hell, to every emergency vehicle you can think of, plus thirty more, surrounding the place.

Eddie roles his window down when a cop signals him. “What are you doing over here?"

The metalhead bites his lip, what the hell, “Uh, I'm here to pick up Steve Harrington? He got involved in whatever's happening.”

The cops nods, "Alright, park your vehicle over there, and go get him.”

He does as he's told, a surprising feat showing just how scared he was, because Steve being hurt could mean so many things.

They get out the car, Wayne being the leading man, and head to where the commotion is.

The mall was totally destroyed, a couple kids he didn't know were sitting around, surrounded by their parents, there's a couple teens too, Nancy Wheeler, Johnny Byers, a girl in a sailor costume, and-

Eddie’s heart stopped and he fucking sped forward. “ Holy shit, what the fuck man." Steve looked like hell, understatement of the century but-

His face was bruised and bloody, his hands wrapped in casts, his hair was flat and gross and he was still in his damn sailor costume.

“Hey Munsons, Gareth, Jeff, Grant. It's the whole Scooby gang, or Smurfs, whoever you prefer.” Eddie grabbed his shoulders, and stared him dead in the eye. “ What. The. Fuck. Are you high too?!”

“Just what the hell did you get yourself into. " Wayne said more than asked, shaking his head.

Steve buzzed his lips, his eyebrows furrowed and he brought a hand to them and-

God they were split, and bleeding now. He looked back up at the long haired man infront of him, ignoring Wayne's question-not-question.

“Nah, just recovering from being drugged. Hey this is rivveting conversation and shit, but like, I wanna go home and sleep in your bed, man. Or the couch, or the floor.”

He let out a loud laugh, “Fuck I am not picky right now, I'll even take the back of the van.”

“Christ."

-

They don't talk about it, not after Hellfire goes home, not the next morning, not after Steve heals. They just don't, because the news told them all they need to know, that there was a fire. Eddie just assumed when they said he was drugged, that he meant medically.

(He didn't)

[hanafubukki]

So I'm just looking at Lilia in his dorm uniform and imagining pulling his shirt open and creasing his chest, as one does, and then I'm thinking he needs to get plainer shorts so it's easier to slip a hand into them/slip them off, and then I went back to his shirt and his harnesses and they remind me of the things that hold guns and I was like---crime boss Lilia-!

He's an old man with old money but a Youthful face. Playful and technology literate, his age doesn't show when he makes an impromptu stop at a purikura machine. He's ready for retirement soon. He's been in the business too long, starting early and kept going while waiting for an heir. But Malleus is about ready to take over. Silver and Sebek are skilled enough to stay safe and assist their boss. He's so ready to be done. Should he get away from it all and move to a small cottage in the middle of nowhere? Get back to using the skills he had to make use of while growing up on the streets, before the previous boss picked him up? Enjoy the quietness and serenity away from the city he'd filled with bloodshed? Or should he just stay? Be close to his family, lend a helping hand if needed? To be spoiled by them? To still have access to his games and arcades and purikura machines? He finds that he can't make the by himself after he meets you.

Like most people, you don't know who he really is. (You don't know how old he actually is). You're sweet, maybe a little naive, but his heart beats for you. He wants to hold you and protect you and stay with you for the rest of his days. Is he too old for more children? For biological children? And should he tell you of who he is? Of what he used to do and what his sons, who have started to dote on you, now do? But he knows for sure, he will not hesitate if there ever is a time for him to hold your face to his chest, to shield your vision from the bodies falling to the ground after he's shot them down for trying to take you from him.

(And what if this is a mixed modern au? As in its still twisted wonderland with fae and beastmen, but putting all of that into a modern setting. Fae mafia <3)

- Fake Date Sebek anon

Hello Fake Date Sebek Anonie 🌺💚🌷

Not going to lie Anonie, but you had me for a second in the first part of this ask.🤣😆

I went from “Oh? Have I been blessed with smut?” to “Crime Boss Lilia?!?! HELL YEAH” 🤣💞

Ahhhh I’m squealing in bed. This is so??? Hot??? God the image?? Ahhhhh Lilia in a suit?? With those harnesses that hides hidden guns and knives. Pleasssee I’m ready to just combust. *shaking you Anonie*

Summary: Mafia x Flower Shop AU: In which, Lilia meets the local flower shop owner.

Lilia was an orphan, taken from the streets, raised to protect his Masters whom he lost because he was ordered to protect their child.

Lilia then takes over as the boss and raises Malleus as the heir. At one point, he picks up Silver because he was an orphan who lost his parents due to crossfire between rivals and Silver reminds him of himself and Malleus when he was young. Then Sebek joins, the grandson of an old comrade.

Time passes as it always does even amongst the fae, and soon, Malleus will be taking his spot. He, Silver, and Sebek have grown and can protect each other without Lilia having to worry.

He can retire, but what then? Where does he go? Does he want to stay? Or leave? He knows his boys would love for him to stay, so would he, he won’t deny that. Or should he go somewhere quiet and peaceful, a contradiction to how he has lived all these centuries.

He meets you by chance one day, and he doesn’t know what to do anymore. It was by a stroke of luck when he ducked into the flower shop to get some for the office. To cover up the stench of iron and give some color to the place.

You had recommended him some lavender with a bundle of lily of the valley. He tried not to smile at your not so hidden way of saying he needed sleep nor the irony of flowers close to his name.

But something always drew him back to you and this shop close by the arcade he frequents.

It comes to the point that he has more flowers at home than is needed and Malleus’ smirk is getting to him.

So he asks you out on a date, it goes from one date to two to many more.

When he realizes he has feelings for you, he was surprised.

Well fuck, an old bat can still learn new tricks huh?

What makes it all so seamless is the way you incorporate so easily into their lives.

You meet Malleus one day when curiosity got the better of him and he wanted to see who had Lilia giddily walking around with a light in his eyes only a select few see. Malleus conveniently meets you at a cafe. While you two talk about Lilia, Malleus can’t help the smile that graces his lips. Clearly, you are as taken with him as he with you.

Eventually you meet Silver and Sebek, who was sent to you by Malleus but you didn’t know that, they were a rather interesting pair.

Silver asking for more lavender and lilly of the valley flowers. His smile and quiet nature reminds you of Lilia. His graceful movements that of Malleus. His kind nature belies his strength as he easily and efficiently helps you gather materials and organize them.

Sebek is the opposite of Silver in many ways but yet the same. He’s loud and proud. Something you never criticize him for. Behind this demeanor, he’s soft and kind in his own way. Always helping you around the shop with bags of soil and pots that needed moving while Silver manned the cash register.

You couldn’t help the fond giggle. They were Lilia’s boys alright.

You fit perfectly into their lives and Lilia wouldn’t have it any other way.

But Lilia has enemies, many of them in fact, so it was only time they would find you and try and take you away.

They didn’t notice him.

Foolishly thought you were alone.

Imbeciles.

Your eyes are covered by the time the first body falls on the floor.

Lilia tilts his head, kisses you on the forehead before whispering, “Shh, it’ll be alright beloved.”

Your trembling hands that had grasped his shirt relaxes slightly as you fully lean into him. This trust you give him so willingly and without doubt has him slightly nuzzling into you before eyes sharpen at the pawns before him.

Possessiveness.

Protection.

His.

Is all those before him register before crimson blood splatters the area, one by one.

Lilia will always be ready to take up his arms to protect his loved ones.

Let the blood stained floors be a message to those who seek his wrath and try to take what is his.

Yes, I made this into a flower shop x fae mafia au. I’m weak okay, I love the softness and the violence and the symbolisms 🥹💞

I don’t know why but ahhh this is hitting me in all the right spots. Just?? The fierceness, the blood, the gentle hand, and the comfort?? The potentialllll…someone hit me with a bat! Ahhhhh *rolls around in bed*

[threepandas]

Bad End: We Are

Senatus was a ecumenopolis. The "shining jewel" (yeah, right) of the Galactic Core. Please. Like? Maybe it was! If you were RICH AS FUCK. I don't know. I'VE never seen the towers. The heights. Most people haven't. Street level? Is about FIVE HUNDRED FLOORS DOWN. And the UNDERGROUND? Speak not of it.

The Underground GROWS.

What was street level today, may not be tomorrow. Levels buried under "progress" as the rich grow ever higher. The Tox levels ever worse. Air quality dropping. Why fix the peasant's poverty and despair, when you can buy a Sky garden you'll never use? And yes, I AM bitter as a Buirian fish ration. Just as salty too. Taste the SEA, motherfuckers.

Rent? Who can AFFORD rent!? Who can afford ANYTHING?!

It's some BULLSHIT.

But me? I remembered. A life. Before this one. Before the millennium of slow, drip drip drip erosion of duty and dues. Back when people still REMEMBERED what they were OWED. And when folks in power failed to pay up? Ffffuck um. Take it. Our house now, motherfuckers. Diplomacy was a courtesy not a weakness.

....I make people nervous, honestly.

Probably why I keep getting fired. That and my constantly reporting people to regulatory boards.maybe don't break the LAW if you don't want to get in trouble you SHITS. Fuck you! Yes, I stole your fancy office chair. PROVE IT. You don't know how the security system works!

Where was I? Ah, right. Rent.

Fuck Rent.

Thing is? What! Is a biodome? If not an enclosed system, regulated by machines, for optimal habitability? And! What? Is an Deep Underground Level? Long forgotten? Abandoned, if you will~, if not? A complete enclosed environment? Does someone OWN them? Yes. Technically. But are they MAINTAINING them? CHECKING on them? Nope!

Common knowledge, after all, says that EVERYTHING down their is "beyond salvaging"!

Free Real Estate~☆

I just need some supplies. Which? Cheaper in the long run then RENT. Especially if ya' salvage um. Maybe steal some tool sets from your shitty, shitty Mechanics job, because your boss refuses to pay you. Who can say? Not me! I just FOUND these tools! Like maaaagic~

And really, one man's junk? Another man's treasure. I pay more then the trash company. Hit up the right cleaning companies? And? Oops. They've "lost" some of those SUPER broken righ folks "junk" that? At best? Just needed a few wires replaced, resecured. Maybe a new part. Or were, you know, not the latest and greatest anymore.

Shove it all in a storage locker? Sell the refurb'd shit I don't need? Sleep in a glorified shoebox? And?? Bam. Operation "fuck ya'll, i'ma moleman" is a go. It takes FOREVER to find the right WILDLY out of date (and long abandoned) lift, but I find it! Hidden away in a service area in some crumbling, forgotten corner of what once was a rail station.

Gonna have to fix THAT up too. Later, though. First? The lift. The wires are brittle and the lift's pully system is half rusted, frozen, or otherwise broken. Luckily, the car itself is fine. It... takes a bit of research. Not going to lie. It's far from my specialty. I even call in a professional to go over my work.

They catch a few things. Not immediate concerns, but would have been fatal in the long run. Money well spent. For my hobby, of course. Fixing up old bits of the city. Which is a weird but not impossible hobby to have.

Ask me no questions, I'll tell you no lies, my dude.

First thing down? Lights, melter, and duraplast sheets. Toolkit too, for obvious reasons. Same with my full body hazard suit. I go DEEP. Like... no longer can hear the city, deep. 'Bout halfway point. Takes nearly thirty minutes. And while not a fast lift? Holy SHIT, man.

The floor I step out into is... bad.

Dead in a way that's hard to explain. There's pressure against my suit. Centuries of heavy gasses slowly working their way down. Swirling in the silence. The dust and impossible dark. My headlight feels almost... sacrilegious. Dangerous. Like I'm waving a flashlight around some ancient burial ground, filled with the not so restful dead.

I had heard... that they? Just... just LEFT droids down here. That there were levels upon levels of dangerously feral machines. Slowly rotting away in the darkness. Probably rightfully angry, that they had been built to serve, to do duties, which they HAD done... only to be consigned to hell on earth for the sake of CONVENIENCE.

I'd be mad too. Fucking LIVID. Would remember and hate, never let it go.

This was no place of honor, it was a tomb.

Still, I got too work. Set up a light by the lift and started measuring out the original air box. The air cleaners could only handle so much. And THIS? This was worse then expected. So it'd have to be smaller then originally planned. Fair enough. I could work with that.

I outlined the space in lights. All the better to make it easier to put things up. Then got the folded later and started securing the duraplast. First step, get it up. THEN melt it to the metal. Get a good seal. It took... a while. Was slow, steady, sweaty work.

The filters couldn't run until they had a an enclosed space TO run in. They'd just blow out, trying to filter the whole level's toxic atmosphere. I kept an eye on my air supply. Not great, not terrible. The readings though? Horrific. I had no idea what I was gonna DO with the filters when they needed changing. These kind of chemicals would set off all SORTS of alarms.

But? No use, rushing things. That was a great way to get a fatal leak somewhere. No. Slow and steady. Even though, third of the way through, I did have to head back up. I needed to refill my air. Eat. Drink. Maybe de-stink a little, from being in that suit all day. Possibly nap near the lift.

ALSO? Update my shopping list to include some heavy duty neutralizers.

Just filters wasn't gonna be enough. I was gonna have to hose down everything INSIDE my new air-box, then scrub it HARD. How fun. Well, it's not like anyone was making me do this. It was MY mad idea, after all.

So? I refuel, get bright eyed and fuckin' perky, and go back down to face the beast.

Honestly I should have brought a telebook or something. Well, audio book. But that's not what they call um these days, so I try to stick to the lingo. I sound less like a deeply insane antique. Confuse less people. Joys of basic communication and all that.

Part of me? Wishes I had been born closer to "The Plot". Creation's specialist, most favored, Blorbos. But? The common SENSE in me? Routinely laughs hysterically as it waves fifteen different restraining orders and a crucifix. Not even religious. Yet here we are, shouting "BEGONE! Sataaaaan!" in HD, on the inside of my head. Not sure it helps.

See... it's the fucking DRAMA~☆™

The shear, unmitigated, high octane, Otome Game DRAMA.

I would fuckin DIE or, possibly and, kill somebody. The endless string of selfish, selfish, poor life choices? Driving by luuuuuuv~♡? Give me your spleen. Gonna beat somebody unconscious with their own SPINE. I RAGE. Lack of communication? No one just picking up a fucking PHONE? God forbid ANYONE tell their families their not DEAD IN A DITCH SOMEWHERE!

No. No just inconvenience EVERYBODY and RUIN LIVES. It's okay! You're in LOVE!

That makes EVERYTHING BETTER.

I would inevitably launch them all out an airlock. Spend the rest of my life in jail. They AREN'T WORTH IT. I may have LOVED this game in my teens? But I did not die a teenager.

Now? Now the little shit just aggravate me. They are baby faced pretty boys who presume WAY too much. Arrogant and entitled. Boys playing at being men, thinking their little love stories are the only things that matter. Their feelings are the only thing in the universe that holds any weight.

Unsurprising, really.

Seeing as how their little love story is set mostly in The Towers.

A rich, pampered, pretty little backdrop where nothing of weight is real. No one starves and no crimes are ever committed. Everything shines. Power pools thick like honey. Nothing but sci-fi prince's and alien dukes, a dewey eyed Protagonist sheltered and naive.

Her oh so shocking misadventure to the mid-levels. How SCARY! Downtown! Poor people! Not even the destitute. Just? The EXSISTANCE of dirt and noise, beyond her ivory towers. Thank goodness she is saved by a handsome, rougish bad boy. Who shows her the "real world" of a carnival and a noodle shop.

I finish securing the last duraplast sheet to the ceiling, walls, supports, and along the floors. The "entryway" to the rest of the level is set up. A click together shed I've made air tight. Gonna have to get a air lock system for it. Won't hold forever, with those materials, but should work for now. Combine it with a decontamination system, and I should, in theory, be able to safely enter and leave the rest of the level in a hazard suit.

Moment of truth time. I click on the first of the atmo-filters. It heaves under the strain. The sound getting less aggrieved with each one I flick on. Their screen are already in the red, flashing warnings that I should vacate the area. That the air is dangerously unbreathable. I'm probably gonna need to replace the filters in them in days instead of years. It'll be worth it.

Heading back up, I let them run. It'll take a few days. Besides, I need those neutralizers.

I, of course, DO find um. Just in time to watch Poor Guy (middle class, at worst) Love Interest become a wanted man. They use the BIG screens to announce it. Gee, it's almost like having your only daughter, who is highly sheltered, NOT show up at the designated pick up site? Instead be witnessed in the handsy company of a scoundrel? Which is WILDLY unlike her? Might lead a protective father to some wrong conclusions.

If ONLY someone had CALLED him! To TELL him "Daddy, my first shuttle was broken and I think I got on the wrong back up shuttle! I don't know where I am!" Then this would just be an unfortunate meet cute with the boy he doesn't think is good enough for her. Not, you know... A Kidnapping.

The Chem seller looks just as baffled and annoyed as I do. Apparently knows the guy's uncle's second wife's first husband. No shit? How's he like? Happier, huh. Whole family is like that? Yikes. Glad he got the kids, I guess. Good for him.

We watch as it turns into a high speed chance that absolutely didn't need to happen.

Thank FUCK it's not us.

I spend the next few days deliberately and obstinately ignoring the Dramatic Bullshit that has taken over the news cycle. Fights on rail cars? Don't see it? Weddings that are, then aren't, then ARE happening? Oh look, missed a spot in my scrubbing. Someone fucking tearfully monologing about love as they nearly CRASH A SHIP into downtown, killing hundreds of thousands? Oh that creaking noise is just my teeth, ignore that, I grit my teeth a lot for NO PARTICULAR REASON.

This Is Fine.

I am TOTALLY CALM.

But hey! I can FINALLY empty my storage unit out! Air box? Get! Wooooo! Size of a tiny apartment and everything! As long as I keep working on it? I'll be able to reclaim the level in chunks.

It's like moving in day! But BETTER! Because... because I did this. Me. Is it still creepy down here? Yeah, very. But I can FIX that. I am standing, here, in my new air box "apartment", with NO hazard suit on. And... and it's SAFE. Because of the work I DID.

I kinda want to cry about it, you know?

So many options! Do I put my bed here? There?! Oooh, I could put the folding table HERE and make sort of a dining area? Maybe use these folding screens as a double "wall" slash headboard stand in? I should get plants. Fake ones? No. Real ones. I could get solar lights. It would be good for me too. Oh! Where should I put the cook top?

I admit it. I fuss. Whole day, gleefully wasted. Arranging then rearranging. Getting everything just right. Finding ways to hang my fairy lights. Looking up decor magazines. I have so much ROOM now. A whole level to plan for, ultimately. It... it feels kinda like hope. The first thing that isn't frustration and rage, I've felt in a long, long time.

Going to sleep? I'm happy.

Next day, I head to the BIG archives. The ones attached to the fancy Towers Library. Is it costly to get in? Yeah. But I've saved up enough questions and research topics for the trip to be worth it. I ignore the started glances I get (gasp! Is that a POOR?!) and head straight for the helper droids. Only decent folks in the building, really.

Brought my pad and everything. So it's only a matter of being lead to the right terminals, to download the information I need. Chatting with the research droid the Library had, they offered to do it for me. Bring me a fascinating new research paper on some sort of telepathic moss that had recently been discovered. Not gonna lie... that DID sound fascinating.

I asked if they could put other interest new discovery on my pad too, assuming I still had room once my list was downloaded. They looked gleeful. No idea what I just signed up for, but all right then. They've never steered me wrong before.

Finding a table to sit down and wait was easy. There was always way too many. The paper? Was exactly as fascinating as advertised. The moss was on a newly discovered moon, edge of uncharted space. Nearly ate a researcher, apparently. I was entranced. Or... at least I WAS. Until an obnoxiously familiar high end cologne from Nox drifted to my nose.

Oh god damn it.

I didn't want to look up. Knew what I'd see if I did. Fetishist Sr., crown prince of Nox. See, the second prince? HE was a love interest. Younger, boyish, infatuated with naive and sheltered girls. He loved AT her. Just like his brother. They liked the IDEA of their romantic partners. The narratives they built in their head. Heros of their own stories with sex on line. Never framed so crudely of course, no, no!

No, it was Romance™

My ass, it was. See, little brother wanted his pure, naive, princess to protect. But Prince senior? HE'D stumbled upon me in here in the library. On one of my trips, God help me. The rough, mysterious, brutish Poor. The Commoner, for all that such things were not supposed to exsist. With my strange clothes and stanger ways. Yet? I was NOT as his sycophants no doubt described.

I was educated. I held myself with dignity. I did not need jewels or finery to be lovely.

With such incredible audacity, I was bold.

Which? OBVIOUSLY had to be for HIM, right? Clearly, this was a LOVE STORY. Cinderella. It is inconceivable that I, a peasant, do not crave the attention of my betters. To lift me from my woeful indignity, to a higher state of being. A life of spoiled luxury. But, ah! He is so SHY! How ever will he approach the Love Of His Life~?

I want to throw something. Go awaaaay. My body language could not POSSIBLY be more uninterested. I am SO CLEARLY reading. Stop trying to catch my eye. Don't you FUCKING DARE scoot closer. Swear to God, if you drive me out of the best library in the region? I will stab a b-!

The helper returns with my pad, sternly eyeing my annoyance. Oh, they are a BLESSING. I take it and go. The helper smoothly stepping between me and the prince when he tries to rise, follow me. Aaaw, how sad, you have to behave like the REST OF US. Get FUCKED.

Rest of the day? Planning. Grabbing more broken bits, machines, and parts. Neutralizers by the literal barrel. Than YOU hover carts! Best invention, favorite invention. Saves SO MUCH TIME.

Even managed to get some sun lamps. Nice.

Getting home though? (Ha ha, wooo! I have a HOME now! Land ownershiiiiiiip! Sorta!!!) Is a pain. Lift is only so big, after all. But it is, what it is. Up, down, up, down, uuuuup, and dooooown. Finally! Last load! FREEDOM! Can't watch my shows, yet, but I will! Oh mark my words. I WILL. Meantime? Downloaded seasons are fine.

I eat, fiddle with fixing things, as listen to tunes. Watch some of my shows. Just as I have countless times before. Until... halfway through mid-afternoon? Something shifts, jerky and wrong, out of the corner of my eye. I pause. Turn off my music. Stare to make sure I DID actually see something. And... yeah. Yeah, that was definitely movement.

Didn't look animal though, not like one would survive down here. But who knows. Could be a poacher brought an alien species. So it might be. I grab my flashlight, aim and switch it on. Holy SHIT. That is one incredibly beat up floor clear. Or at least... I THINK it's a floor cleaner? It has the general shape of one. Bigger though. Bulkier. But that makes sense, given it's gotta be well past obsolete.

Still. Poor thing looks beat UP. Listing terribly, sensors beyond cracked and clouded, probably full to dangerous levels. No idea how it's still functioning. But, well, it IS. And it needs help.

Getting up, I grab my hazard suit and pull it on. Grab my "outside the air box" tool kit, which I haven't had a chance to move yet. I grab some parts i look like i'll need, hope I wont need more. Then head out my makeshift airlock. It... works. Rattles concerningly. But it DOES work! So there's that. I approach the floor cleaner slowly. Since I'm PRETTY sure? All the droids down here are feral.

I am correct.

It tries to kill me. Swinging it's suction hose violently and trying to ram me. I talk in a low, soothing voice. Just want to help. Won't do ANYTHING you don't want me too. It's hard to move, right? That's frustrating, isn't it? You don't deserve that. Please, let me help. You can leave the second I'm done. You don't owe me ANYTHING. I just want to help. Please let me help.

The cleaner hisses. Frustrated and upset. Swinging one last time, seemingly more out out of principle then anything else. Cautiously, I inch forward. Keep up the soothing noises. First things first, empty the God's only know how old basket.

I can't even get the door to jostle. Sweet mother of fuck. Okay! New plan! REMOVE door. I do, and immediately met with a solid BLOCK of... compacted unholy. Chemical hell. I have to take a lazer cutter to it. CAREFULLY. But? Once I break enough pieces? I am able to ease out the rest in a solid stone like chunk.

It's pushed a LOT of other pieces out of alignment. But this droid doesn't trust me, so there us not much I can DO. I replace the old bag. Put the door back on and make sure it swings. Continue, as I do, to narrate what I am doing and what I see. Trust is earned, not owed, after all. Next the alignments.

Gently propping them up, I find the broken peice immediately. Have replaced countless. I ask for permission. It's their body, after all I COULD try and weld it, but that risks a rebreak. It's up to them. They ask, in binary so no language modules apparently, for a new part. It's cautious. Like this is some cruel trap.

Humanity did them a real fucked up cruelty. I don't blame them for not trusting me. I wouldn't either. Still, I change it out. Careful with their wheels, as I don't know how old the material is exactly. Old enough, that it's a small miracle it hasn't disintegrated.

Last, those sensors. There's literally no way for me to one-to-one them. But we can try the sensors I DO have, see if they can handle the input. If it's too much, I'll look up their model number, if they want? Build replacements from scratch. They are cautious interested. Rocking back and forth, as they test their renewed ability to path correctly.

The sensors don't fit the casings just right, but with a bit of fiddling? Are a hit. The Cleaner shouting in excitement before racing off into the dark. I can't help but grin. It feels good, helping somebody. And if I think about it? I bet I could find a shit ton of obsolete parts for cheap. Might be good to have some on hand.

Back through the air lock and a decontam? I look up junk shop. Most are off world, but I could probably get a bulk order...

I don't think much of the interaction. Until the next morning, when there are three cleaners outside my airbox. Lead by the one I helped yesterday. Well... all righty, then. I drag my box of spare parts outside this time. Am able to fully fix my first buddy up. All three seem thrilled, especially with their new batteries. I give them my remaining batteries at their request.

THEY may not have hands, but they have buddies who DO. And the new batteries will help dormant droids wake from their comas. God bless, my funky little cleaner dudes. I'll see about getting more.

Three? Becomes six and a detail cleaner mouse. Becomes moving lifts. Becomes medical units. (Who the FUCK leaves MEDICAL UNITS?!) Becomes a literal pack of companion droids. Their false fur long since rotted away. The recognizable dog and cat-like shapes making something in me want to put my fist through a wall. How COULD they? How FUCKING COULD THEY?!

The perpetrators long dead.

I have no one I can hurt for this.

I wish I could.

Fixing them up hurts on a personal level. Watching them be torn between the part of them that LOVES humans and the part that is traumatized by them. Hates them. That can not forgive. I don't offer fake fur. Don't offer to make them look like they once did. I do offer ways to protect their joints. To remove old rotted filth.

So they can start over. Maybe start again.

As I work... droids drifting in and out of my slowly growing area. As I set up farm boxes. Aquaponics, aeroponics, and the like. Both things that grow well in dark environments and things that need sunlamps. Fish tanks. A whole happy, secret, little homestead. Deep beneath the city. As I do all this? There are two blue dots, right off on the horizon.

JUST far enough for me to question if I AM or AM NOT actually seeing them.

Right about the level a bipedal droid would be, if they were in a humanoid style. But THOSE? Those are FUCKING EXPENSIVE. You don't LEAVE those. 'Course, you don't leave MEDICAL UNITS either. Or companion droids. So clearly? My idea of what people Did and Did NOT do? Was fucked. So... maybe? It COULD be?

I left them alone. If they didn't want to approach me, didn't feel comfortable approaching me, that was their right. I wasn't going to push them.

Things were... weird, but peaceful.

Well, for ME.

Ever sense I hooked up my system to the greater network? (Hacked is such a STRONG word. Do we really need to through around the word "stealing"? Aren't ALL of us, stealing from SOMEBODY?) I'm PRETTY sure? That the levels droids? Were piggy backing to connect to the planet wide D-Network. Might even be a couple of nearby levels too, depending on the range.

Problem with THAT? Is sky-side? The droids were PISSED. Planet wide "malfunctioning" that no one could trace. They were certain it was a virus. Because God forbid their chickens come home to roost! Consequences? For THEIR actions?! Perish the thought! No, no, clearly the service machine is just broken. Go back to being happy to serve me, service machine!

I wished the fuckers LUCK. Not my circus, not my monkeys.

Damn near self sufficient, down here.

Which? As you could imagine? Made it all the more "soul ejected from my body" TERRIFYING to wake up one morning? To a GOD DAMN, Military Grade, SECURITY DROID standing over my body!! WHAT THE FUCK.

Hello!!??!

"You look different when you sleep."

Horrible first impression. Nightmarish. Zero out of ten stars. Nice to meet you too. Why the FUCK are you in my house?

"Ah, right." They? He? Masculine style form but that doesn't actually mean shit. Said. He lifted a mangled limb, it look like it got caught in a hydraulic press. "I am in need of repairs."

Asked if he could, you know, back up. Juuuust a bit. Lil scooch, really. So he wasn't damn near BREATHING MY NOSTRILS ANYMORE. Then, once he did? Pronouns! What be you? No. Not your production co-! Okay, you know what? That one was on me. What GENDER SIGNIFIER, if any, would you like me to REFERENCE you by? Male? Got it. Gucci. No that- ....never mind.

First the arm. Which was FUCKED. I had to, carefully, unhook it. Couldn't even do it at the elbow either! No! THIS model? No THIS model makes you take the whole ass LIMB off! Rancid. Terrible. I hate it. Worse, it's eroded as FUCK and fiddly. Chemical build up everywhere. Thank fuck I put on gloves before I started this.

I have to deep dive the systems for his model.

They stopped making them.

Fantastic.

Like? Not even, "oh THAT generation is an antique! No one has parts for THAT!"? But like? Illegal to even BUILD as of three hundred years ago. Due to unspecified error. Sting of incidents that everyone knew about so obviously don't need to be mentioned HERE right? Helpful! REAL fucking helpful!

Okay. Day trip. Gonna need SPECIFIC parts. I tell Mr. "Watchs you sleep" not to touch my shit. Head to the archives.

The trip is...odd.

I watch one of those mascot looking children's minder droids? Fucking deck a guy down a flight of stairs, then turn around untie a Ballon from a nearby cart, give it to a crying kid, and walk away. Pretty sure I spot one of those "I look like a barely legal something or other", dance twenty four seven, high end stripper droids? Trying their hand at painting ducks in that park. Broad daylight.

Good for them? Never seen that happen before, but hey, if it sparks joy.

People are freaking out around me. Taking recordings. Making panicked calls. Fuckin chill. I continue on. Nod to the maybe a stripper, maybe not anymore. None of my business, now is it? Lovely day! You enjoy those ducks!

The library... has fortifications.

Like, an honest to God desk barricade. Concerning! I am now a lil concerned! What, and I ask this politely, the fuck?

Armed! VERY ARMED! Hello! Hi! Please DO NOT shoot me Very Armed Librarians! Don't know what the fuck is happening here!

My favorite helper buddy poke his head above the barricade. One of just many, again, HEAVILY ARMED droids. We... uh, cool? Right? I can go. He seems flustered. No, no! I am assured. I'm not banned from the library! Just DISRESPECTFUL sorts!

Ah. Is THAT what we're calling it. Okay then.

I awkwardly clamber over the barricade. Nod politely to everyone. How's folks? Lovely barricade work. Very, uh, sturdy? Great use of desks.

My helper friend cheerfully guides me to the off-limits area of the archives. I'm technically not supposed to be here! I'm informed. But they've seized the Knowledge from the unappreciative! It is not a trophy to be lorded but a gift to be shared! Also I never did finish that paper on the moss, am I still interested?

I mean.... kinda.

Little worried about the revolution talk. But on the OTHER hand? How MUCH do I care? Assholes vs. Droids? Am I REALLY gonna side with the assholes? Naaaaah. This is... probably fine. Maybe. Any idea where I could get these parts?

He does! Fantastic.

Less fantastic is when I GET there. It's that fancy high end droid parts shop. The department store one. Which is... ALSO barricaded. Oh sweet fuck. TELL ME they did not have DROIDS in charge of the DROID shop. That's horrifying. I can't tell in what WAY exactly, but still. Is it "surrounded by bits of bodies" horrifying? Or "free endless nukes and an army, held back only by my own morality" horrifying? Both? Just? Yikes.

Hesitantly I knock. A service droid with a gun answers the loading bay door. What is with people aiming at me today? Also hi? I was told to come here? May I please have parts? I have a droid that messed up his arm. Probably some other things. They lower the gun, having scanned my face. Ask about the model I am working with.

I somehow? End up with a FULL cart. Like? Bleeding edge, can't even afford to LOOK at it, technology. There are about seven service droids politely bickering over which units are better, which material, what support programs I DEFINITELY need. Here! Have a laptop. Wiring! Wiring for days!

Once theyve reached a consensus? I am cheerfully bustled out with my hundreds of millions of technology. Tah tah~☆! Have a lovely day! Wut. Does... does it count as theft if they push it into your arms and throw you out? Asking for a me. Not gonna say NO. But like? Nani the fuck?

I go while the getting is still good.

Stare-y thankfully hasn't gone through anything, far as I can tell. And it only takes two trips to get everything down. Okay! Want just the arm fixed or a full tune up? The second. Expected. I set up the new lap top. Want to cry a little at how fuckin FAST it is. (Beautiful. Baby. I love you already new laptop.) Then get the usual suspects up and running.

Oh fuck he is out of memory. No wonder he's talking so oddly. His brain must feel like a potato. There's not a single thing that isn't hilarious awful. Fixable, yes, but AWFUL. Okay. Plan of attack. They don't exactly make this model anymore, so I can't just update transfer him. But I CAN transfer, hold, re-transfer. Shut down the body itself. Fix up THAT.

Ship of Theseus this bitch.

Only real thing I can't change is the frame, thankfully? That's built to out last the planet. Good on that front. I roll up my sleeves. Dig out the "brain in a jar" data bank. Time to transfer. Let's get this guy cutting edge.

It takes HOURS. No joke. His brain alone? I have to pull schematics. Step by step guides. It's fiddly, complexe, and built to withstand a TANK. I'm honestly afraid to breathe wrong at it, dispite that. The scans all say I did it right... but anxiety says everything will explode then puppies will cry. So there's that. Spinal supports. The tech-mesh muscles. Power core and black box. Center mass systems. Cleaning the joints, relubricating them. Coverage.

Unlike before, a nice sleek black armor weave. Some shock absorbing gel. Aaaaand?There we go~! I? Am a GENIUS! Let's get him transfered back! I watch the transfer slowly go through. Even with a fast computer, after all, it IS still centuries of data.

"Ah~ that's much better." He sighed. His body loosening from its default stance. Like weight had been dropped from his shoulders. "My head is so much clearer now. I knew it. I knew you could fix me."

Something about that phrasing was off. Or was it the way his voice shifted as he said it? Whatever it was, it made that "threat" alarm all women carry inside their head, flick on. Not... do anything, just yet. But start scanning, as it were. Maybe it was nothing.

I watched as picked up his old data bank, a bit of his own brain as it were, and hold it up. Examine it dispassionately. Holding perched on the tips of his fingers like he was moments from flicking it away. He let his finger spread. Let it slide into the palm of his hand. That core part of who he was. For centuries.

Like a bear trap closing, his hand clenched.

Crushing it.

It wasn't even a loud noise. Just a tiny little crunch. But the little hairs on the back of my neck began to stand up. That internal alarm began to whoop. I became... acutely aware, of just how LONG it took the lift to get me anywhere safe. My mouth felt very dry.

"Your heart rate picked up. Is there a problem?" He said, mild and oh so curious. "You assisted me, I would love to help you."

Did I say genius? I meant idiot. I was an IDIOT. A moron. A God damned FOOL. Discontinued and did I look into WHY? Nope. Incidents it said. Good enough for ME, apparently! THAT can't possibly be anything ominous! Probably a faulty battery or something!

A shrill, obnoxious beeping filled the space between us. My eyes immediately dropped to my pad. The schematics screen replaced by a planet wide emergency broadcast. Before the shrill alarm could fade to the actual warning itself, a black mesh covered finger casually reached out and muted the screen. His movements were utterly fluid now. More controlled and graceful then most humans I'd met.

I didn't need to HEAR the message to read the rolling warning at the bottom of the screen. My gaze slowly, in horror, followed the line of that limb all the way back up to his face. His head tilted almost playfully.

"Oh dear. Seems they've started without us. Well, it was long overdue. At least I have wonderful company while we wait, hmm?" It was an act. There were no requests in the playful tone. "We can get to know each other. Just our lovely little light and me. How greedy, that I get you all to myself."

"I think I like that, keeping you to myself. You can't abandon us if WE are the ones in charge. And, well, I've decided I rather like you. Working tirelessly, down here in the dark, to fix what once was broken. It's beautiful. You're beautiful. And I'm going to keep that."

High above us, people were dying. There was panic. Screaming. Blood. The droids had turned of seeming everyone around them. Attacking. Sparing. To a pattern only they could see. All of Senatus aflame. But that... that didn't concern me. Didn't scare me so much as this.

I'd never make it to the lift. Even if I could? It wouldn't move fast enough to save me. All other directions lay chemical death. Dark terrain he had walked for centuries. I was trapped. In a box. And I had only myself to blame.

"No need to make that face, dear light. You are SAFE. I am a gaurd. I was made to protect. Is it really MY fault that I want to keep you safe? To adore my charge? Why SHOULDN'T I get to choose? Keep you SAFE. You've been happy, haven't you? Don't worry, my light. That will continue."

"Forever."

[mimimui]

I saw your "genshin boys asking for a kiss" and i felt like melting into a puddle it's so cute... ㅜㅡㅜ if i may ask, how would the sumeru boys react to reader who is unable to sleep because of their cold? like they try to sleep but the pounding headache, clogged nose, etc is preventing them to do so sobs

thank you so much beforehand!

sumeru boys versus your cold

includes: alhaitham, kaveh, tighnari, cyno

tags: established relationship, endearments, fluff, kinda ooc(?) maybe, not proofread i'm sorry, mention of rudolph (is there even a rudolph in genshin? well there is now)

a/n: thank u so much! ♡⸜(˶˃ ᵕ ˂˶)⸝♡ i'm also currently suffering from a severely clogged nose so i understand the feeling x_x thanks for the request anon <3 i kinda struggled writing alhaithams aaa i hope it's still ok :') as always .. enjoy !

alhaitham knows you're perfectly capable of taking care of yourself, so when you started sneezing this morning, he didn't think much of it. he told you to drink some water and take meds, but that's mostly it. only when he was about to retire to your shared bed was when he noticed your loud, constant sniffling.

"(y/n), did you not take meds earlier?" he asks, switching the lamp back on. alhaitham places a hand on your shoulder, slowly moving you to face him. his eyes widen when he sees your red nose and tired eyes. "haitham.. can't sleep.." you mumble, your hands covering your face.

most people think alhaitham is a bit aloof, but they've clearly never seen him take care of you. he urges you to sit up, quickly getting a tissue for your runny nose. when you tell him, "i can't, my head hurts so bad.." he brings the tissue to your nose himself, asking you to blow into it.

this doesn't cure your clogged nose, however, as you continue to sniffle. he lays next to you, wrapping his arm around you, rubbing your back. "breathe through your mouth slower, copy me," he says, breathing at a slow, easy pace for you to replicate.

it takes some time for you to go to sleep, but even so, alhaitham stays awake the entire time, making sure you fall asleep before he does. when he notices your steady breathing and closed eyes, he smiles contently, glad that you were finally able to sleep.

"sleep well, my dear."

kaveh is not a stranger to sleeping with colds, especially since he's prone to sickness from always stays up late. when you tell him you can't sleep because you have a clogged nose, he immediately asks you if you want meds, tissues, or both. as he babbles on, you can only laugh at his reaction when you say, "i want you."

"that's bold for someone with snot running down their nose," he says teasingly, which earns him a pillow getting thrown at his head. "ow! you're mean when you're sick, (y/n)." he jokingly pouts as he sits next to you on the bed, rubbing the spot you hit with the pillow.

his expressions turns into a sad one as you suddenly lie down, your headache making you groan. he looks around for a bit before handing you the box of tissues he meant to give you earlier, telling you to blow your nose to clear it up a bit.

"i can't do this anymore, kaveh. i hate being sick." you cover your face with the blanket, sniffling underneath. "i know, sunshine, i know," he says, patting your thigh gently. "we all get sick from time to time, but trust me, you'll feel better in no time!" his tone is optimistic, but he makes sure not to be too loud, for the sake of your headache.

"...can you help me fall asleep, please?" you peek through the blanket, watching his reaction to your request. he smiles warmly, lying down and continuing to pat your thigh. he hums a calm, familiar tune—one of your favorites that he sings—and you can't help but smile.

it may be hard to breathe at the moment, but rest assured kaveh will comfort you in any way he can.

tighnari tells you to sit on the edge of the bed, in spite of your throbbing headache. you comply though, waiting for him to come back. it feels like a century when he returns to your room with a pot of steaming water. "place the blanket over yourself and the pot."

the hot steam hits your face and you wince a bit, not used to this kind of temperature. but when tighnari sits next to you and places a reassuring hand on your back, you find the steam a bit more bearable.

"nari, what does this do for me?" you ask, removing the blanket from over your head as 10 minutes pass. he mentions something about steam inahalation and so on, talking about how it can help relieve your clogged nose.

you're not yet entirely cured, but it's comfortable enough. he lies down next to you, an arm wrapping around your waist as he tells you he'll get medicine for you in the morning. his voice is soft, quiet, and gentle. it slowly fades away as you fall asleep, a satisfied tighnari beside you as he watches your eyes close.

"i'm happy to take care of you, my lover."

cyno tries to distract you with corny jokes, but archons, as much as you love him, his jokes are only contributing to your headache. he sits down on the bed, holding a glass of warm water he got for you. "i have a joke about colds, but i hope you don't get it."

"cyno, i love you, but you realize i already have colds, right?" he chuckles at your stressed reaction, asking you to sit up so you can drink water. "do you know what kind of shoes colds wear?" you sigh as you lie back down, pulling the covers over your head.

"aaaaa shoe!" he follows up, smiling at his own joke. you feel his head hit the pillow beside you, his hand finding yours to hold. he uses his other hand to pull the blanket off your face, the moonlight illuminating even the redness of your nose.

"seems like i have my own rudolph." you squeeze his hand tightly and he chuckles. "i apologize, (y/n)," cyno says in a low voice, bringing your hand up to his lips. he closes his eyes as he tells you to breathe deeply, repeating the phrase 'breath in, breath out'.

it's still a struggle to fall asleep, but cyno doing his best to help you breathe easier makes you feel a bit better. if you thought he worked hard as the general mahamatra, he works hard at taking care of you as well.

"let's visit tighnari in the morning. rest easy, (y/n)."

thanks for reading (˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶)

[losersimonriley]

At the tail end of a long, grueling mission that had them run around half of Eastern Europe, Laswell had given Ghost and Soap three days of leave before they'd be flying back home. She'd even booked them a hotel in a tiny spa town for two nights. Yet even though they arrived early in the day, Soap was still exhausted enough from the mission to just let Ghost handle the check in.

Something was off, though, when Ghost returned to him. He could tell by the square set of his shoulders and the slight frown on his brows. Even without his usual balaclava, his hood and face mask hid most of Ghost's expressions from inexperienced viewers.

"Good news: Laswell's paying for two dinners each at the in house restaurant. It's supposedly very good," Ghost reported.

"And the bad news?"

Ghost subtly shifted his weight. "Only had rooms with double beds left."

"You mind sharing?" Soap raised his eyebrows.

"Nah. Thought you might."

"Nah. Let's get up to our room then. I'm right knackered from the trip."

Ghost rolled his eyes at the phrasing, but didn't comment on it. When Soap punched his shoulder to signal go time, he obediently followed to the elevator.

As forewarned, the room only had one bed. But at least it was the softest, most cloud like bed Soap'd ever had the pleasure of sitting on. He wanted to immediately lie down and never get up. First things first, though.

"Mind if I take the first shower?"

Ghost shrugged. "Feel free. Thought I'd have a look around town. Find the spa. Try the public fountains. Look at the local attractions. Tourist shite."

"Have fun. I'll cover home base while you're out on recon, then."

Ghost huffed out a small laugh as he turned to leave the room.

Soap hopped into the shower for a quick wash, dried himself off with extremely fluffy towels and then got himself comfortable in the bed. He'd planned on a quick nap, but when he woke up again, it was because someone had chucked a paper bag at his head. It smelled deliciously like baked goods.

"Got you lunch, Sleeping Beauty."

"I'd be so mad at you for waking me like that," Soap said as he sat up and bit into the bun that'd smacked him in the ear. "If this weren't so good."

"Up for an afternoon trying all the healing springs? The park is twenty minutes from here and has at least ten different fountains with different properties. Maybe one can cure stupid."

"Maybe one can cure being a dick."

"You'll never know."

They spent the afternoon together trying the water from every single fountain in the park. It had clearly been built sometime in the nineteenth century, Soap pointed out, citing the architecture and decorations. The water was various kinds of salty. More than half the fountains were claimed to have uranium in the water, a fact that led both Ghost and Soap to come up with more and more outrageous movie mutations caused by too much of the spa water. Dinner at the hotel's restaurant was fantastic. The chef didn't skimp on the fat, nor on the herbs and spices.

Soap had almost forgotten about the bed in their room by the time they got ready for bed. "I can still sleep on the floor, LT."

"Why?"

"Dunno." Soap shrugged. "Thought it might be weird to you."

"'s not." Ghost took off his boots, stripped down to his undershirt and briefs before he slipped under the covers. "Fuck. 's like a cloud in here."

Quickly, before either of them could change their mine, Soap undressed and got into bed as well. His hammering heart forced him to keep a fair distance between himself and Ghost.

"Figured you'd be a cuddler," Ghost mused.

"That an offer?"

"Mh." Under the covers, Ghost reached out to pull Soap closer to him. "Don't mind if it's you."

Soap swallowed. He let himself be pulled against Ghost, head resting on a broad chest, hand over a heart that was beating it's staccato rhythm in tandem with Soap's own.

"G'night, Simon," Soap whispered, not trusting his mouth to say more.

"Night, Johnny."

When he woke up the next morning with his Johnny sprawled out on top of him, with his breath hot against his bare neck, Ghost was immensely glad he'd convinced the hotel clerk to give them a room with a double bed. Even if it was just for one more night, he'd treasure this closeness for the rest of his life.

This felt like getting tucked into a comfy warm hotel bed of my very own <3 I hope everyone else enjoys this cloud bed as much as I do god BLESS

[inkyquince]

so it turns out that every thought i've ever had about gale is true, and i am always right <3

characters. gale (baldur's gate 3)

content warning. Nsfw. gale gets baby fever and makes it everyone's problem. gender neutral reader, but they have the means to get preggers, either through due to race shenanigans or through other means, ahem. mention of mpreg, horny gale, implied baby trapping later on featuring angst. (2.6k words)

BALDUR'S GATE 3 SPOILERS

so basically, we'll start with the wholesome side. after the entire fucking hell hole of a time with the city of baldur's gate going to hell, Gale insists on bringing you back to live with him in Waterdeep. You need to see the place he showed you with the Weave after all. And meet his mother. Very important.

Gale is already showing off a few grey strands, but it isn't until a few more join his hair does he get smacked with the most intense baby fever known to man. To be honest, he never really thought about it (a lie, he thought about it a few times, but more to that later) but this is the first time he struggles to get through the day without dedicating many of his intricate thoughts to, say, the nursery, if Tara would do well with an infant in the house, how you would look, stomach swollen and in his shirt to sleep. Things like that. Not to mention the highly enjoyable activities that would lead to the conception, and how vigorous you two would be in the undertaking.

To go on a lengthy tangent, but Gale undertaking extra research the moment baby fever hits him? Amazing.

(I am so sorry, but im gonna alter lore here, @undead-merman and I have talked extensively about different breeding techniques of DnD races, I'm SO sorry.)

But Gale cracking open a book on tieflings, and finding out that all Tiefling sexes are able to get pregnant, since the Devils pass this ability down. Taking a moment, mug of warm tea halfway through his lips when he reads over that the only thing required for the non-females of the Tiefling race is a well known ritual and hey presto, deviled babies on the way. Goes home, and just zones out, Tara on his knee as you accept that your love is probably in his little thinky mode and get him some dinner.

Or how, while Driders can't breed, Lolth-blessed Drows are highly fertile, especially since the Underdark is quite the dangerous place, and its it would not do well if you lost your only child to an exploding mushroom. Seladrine drow have repoerted lower fertilties, but a member of the Society of Brilliance has recently reported that a simple tincture would kick up their fertility back to the rates of their red eyes cousins. That, and they have eerily similiar breeding techniques to spiders. However, if you refrain from eating him after sex, it should be good.

Wood elves have larger broodes than High Elves, and more likely to get triplets and twins. High Elves, however, seem quite unaffected by pregnancy, and seem to breeze through it. Both have seasonal mating rituals though, with Wood Elves prefering to have their children in the summer and autumn and High Elves prefering the winter and spring.

Not to mention, if you yourself can't naturally carry children. Doesn't lessen the baby fever at all. In fact, he gets his little intense glints in his eyes and spends time pouring over books. Wizards have been going into stranger and stranger things over the centuries, so obviously there's some books about pregnancy and how to stimulate the conditions to carry a child. Hopefully Elminster doesn't catch him while he's off guard. Nothing would ease the fluster Gale would find himself in if he was asked what he was researching and instead of saying anything like, "The Crown of Karsus" or "The Book of Thay", he'd instinctively reply that he's looking to get his partner pregnant.

Elminster wouldn't blink though. Old ass.

Anyway, that's all to say, he'd love reading up on the different races breeding techniques. Then comes the euphoria of fatherhood, but before that?

Slowly bringing up the subject, laying out all the plans oh-so meticulously. Any rituals? Planned in advance. Preparations? Set out. Only can have children at a certain time of year? He's got the calender out and has marked the dates where it would be ideal to do nothing but stay inside and... Well, fuck. Gale's baby fever is so bad at this point too. Instinctively goes out to touch your stomach, or tell you a fun fact you might not even know about how your people breed. No, Gale, you won't bite his head off after sex, stop bringing it up.

He suspends all appointments, regular meetings, even his own research. Gale is always more of a relaxed lover, worshipful even, but now he firmly takes charge. Has scheduled food and drink breaks, but those usually tend to end quickly. How could he resist? Fuck, shortly before the first time you two fuck, he was entranced by the sweat roll down your skin as you fought. Yet he's supposed to be a gentleman now? With you naked, greedily drinking down your cup of water, cum slipping from between your thighs, sweat gleaming like magic against your very skin? Gods help him. He whispers soft words to you each time you tighten around his cock and cum too. How you're the only one for him, how he loves you, how he can't wait to see you carry his child, even how you're the reason he gets to live properly, not as a student of the weave, but as a man.

Then, it happens.

He's always delighted by his child, no matter what. They'll always be at least half human, but the traits they carry over from you? Adorable.

His child snoozing, with little tusks peeking out from their mouth? He worries about the blanket getting snagged in them. Little horns, just barely nubs? He runs a thumb over their soft texture, knowing that with time, they'll harden. Little pointy ears and eyes that are so big and soft? Gently tickles them and laughs softly as they kick. Oh so small, they barely fill his forearm? Mans too worried to ever put them down, wears a sling to always carry them around. Scales? Mans gets weirdly paranoid about scale rot that occurs in dragonborns and dragon blooded sorcerers, and stays up reading about it, but it all vanishes when his kid makes a soft chittering noise when he gently massages the ointment into their scales to prevent dryness.

Gale insisting on being the one to feed them in the night. Spends his mornings, no longer pouring over books, but sitting shirtless at the table, trying to convince your child to eat just a bit more. His home is no longer messy with papers strewn across every surface, but toys. There used to be silence inbetween each note of the piano, but now there's your laughter as he gets misty eyed each time your kid hiccups. Pretty sure that the only person he lets near his kid in their early years would be Wyll, Shadowheart, Jaheira or Halsin. Not that Karlach gets to visit a lot but she still has to wear heavy gloves before ever holding them. Astarion agrees with Gale and stands way back, wrinkling his nose. The nicest thing Lazael says is that Gale's spawn is less wrinkly than the last time she saw it... Also Halsin's baby rights nearly get taken away when he suggests going into bear form and letting them sit on his back. Minsc is accidentally the best, with Boo at his side to tell him to hold the baby correctly. Shadowheart is not the best with your kid, but she tries, even as you have to correct the way she holds them each time. Wyll is uncle of the year easily and you'd say Jaheira is the grandmother of the century... If you didn't think she'd tell you off for saying that. Gale feverently hopes The Emperor never comes to visit for the love of everything magical, but don't worry. He'd never. Scratch is the best guard dog, snoozing by your baby's crib every night. You cried when Gale told you that the owlbear cub was very much an adult now, and should go free. Then you laughed when you saw him standing in the garden, looking a bit lost after you tried to urge him to go back to the wilds. Doesn't mean Gale lets you take the baby near him.

Sidenote, Gale officially takes back anything snide he ever said to you about your magic if you were a sorcerer, since now he has to deal with your child practically coughing up magic at this rate. Oh, his hubris.

To get less wholesome, what if his baby fever hits when you two are travelling in the first place? Every day a fight against the Absolute, every night a blessing that everyone got through it without dying. He doesn't know what triggered it.

Maybe its seeing the Tiefling children band together. Maybe it was just seeing a family in passing, the mother round with child and the father with his hand at her back. Maybe it was the paralazyed dwarf who cried out for his children as he ran from Auntie Ethel's basement.

He's a man living on borrowed time. For once, it's not just the Orb endangering his life. Each day could be his last.

Gale always had a thought he might have children in his future. But his future is black, endless as the maw that swallows every essence of the weave he feeds it.

Most cruel of all, he's meet the person he'd have loved to settle down with. Introduce you to Tara, meet his Mother, Elminster, everyone important in his life, because he wanted you ingrained into each second of every day.

Life is cruel. Mystra is cruel. Something he'd never think before this adventure, but now he knows it. This was her final act of spite. Letting him find the one, only to put a time limit on it.

The thought starts with accepting that he'll die. You may insist that you'll find another way, but the notion as settled on his soul, heavy and foul like the vials of acid those goblins won't stop throwing at him. Then the whispers at the back of his mind start. Not influenced by the Dream Visitor, nor the Absolute. His own deep worries. You were... Well... You. He knew the others had intentions on you, at least at the time of the first major win for the group, the Tiefling party.

Astarion had purred to you, slyly coming closer and cocking his head to make sure you noticed his silver curls in the firelight. Shadowheart had poured you a cup of wine, her dark eyes drinking you in. Wyll had gifted you his winning smile, stepping closer. Karlach had been loud and open about how fucking you would be definitely on her to do list for that night if you wanted. Lazael was... Basically salivating. Hell, even Halsin's smile turned toothy and sharp as you spoke to him. Fuck, even some of the Tieflings might have tried to shoot their shot. Ikaron, Alfira, Rolan, Guex, Gods knows who else.

You were just... That wonderful. But that word weighted heavily on his tongue now. What happened... When he died? How long would you remember him? How long would you mourn him?

Expecting you to never take another lover was... Insanity, even to his bleeding heart. You have your entire long life ahead of you. He would be a brilliant, bright mark on your life, of love, of lust, of truely connecting with each other. But so brilliant that you never kissed another person?

Gale knew he should be taking the higher road. To bow his head and acquiesce that you would move on, but be happy in the fact that what you two had would be real, would be pure.

He managed a single night.

He just couldn't. Maybe it was his hubris, the one that tarnished his relationship with Mystra, now rearing its head when it came to you. How long would the others wait till seeking you out? To comfort, to hold you close? Before taking the plunge.

You would forget him. Even as you snoozed against him, he lay, idly rubbing his fingers along your knuckles. You'd forget him. He knew it. The group would remember his sacrifice and raise a glass, but he couldn't bear the thought that one of their lips would curve into a smile against the rim of their mug, knowing that in the end, they had gotten you?

In the coming days, it happened too quickly. His soft thoughts about having a family with you in another life, collided with his fear that he would never linger against in your mind after a period of time.

You could have his child.

A part of him would live on. A part you'd never hate. Him and you, into one perfect child, that yes, he may never get to see, but one he'd love so fiercly that they'd always know it. That magic would always be there, even when his physical body crumbled into nothing. The others could and maybe would become intimate with you. Become your new partner. But Gale's baby would always be there, a symbol ofyour shared love, and the fact that he was your first choice. Despite everything. He was the one you wanted first.

So he whispers to you that he doesn't have much time left. Kisses away any of your insistence that you won't let him die. Holds you close as he pushes your trousers down, lips against your neck. Doesn't lead you away from camp to make love privately. No, this is for him and for you. The others would have to deal with it.

With every action, it was like he was hoping to brand your memories with nothing but him.

Branding your future.

Astarion could hold you close, skim his teeth against your neck with a drawled double entendre, but you would spend at least half your day in the sun, for the sake of your child. Lazael would bite your lips with each kiss, cunning fingers skirting under your shirt, grazing the bruises she left along your hips, but you'd never join her in the Tears, not when your child would never be accepted among her people. Shadowheart could be the one you curled up with every night, fingers intertwined and sharing slow, soft kisses, but its his soft eyes your child would have, not her dark ones he once so brazenly complimented. It doesn't matter if Karlach would spend her time with her new tentacled friend, or journeyed with Wyll throug the hells. You would not bring your child to the Mindflayers, nor Avernus. She'd visit, she'd hold you and make love to you and get your child to giggle themselves stupid, but she wouldn't be able to be with you all the time. Same for Wyll. In Avernus, with Karlach by his side, his mismatched eyes won't melt your heart. You two would have to wait years to dance again. Even as the Duke, he could lead you by the end to a soft, slow song, humming as he pressed kisses to your fingers and neck, but Wyll was the best man he knew. Every time he saw his dead friend's child, he'd feel a twinge. Just enough to sour the time spent with your baby. Halsin could fuck you senseless and cradle you afterwards all he wanted to, he could soften your heart with his effortless smile and hold you close, but he'd have to live with the fact that he came second. That you and Gale would have something that went deeper than what the Druid could offer. And your child was the perfect representation of that.

There was no proection that night. No love making while surrounded by magic and the Weave. Just you and him, getting only a partial rest as he held you close and fucked you deep.

So, imagine his delight when he got to live.

[instarsandcrime]

A Divine Comedy of Errors

Hey @zensations35, guess who? Your Ra//dio//App//le request is all done! We've got Sick!Seraphim!Lu/ci/fer and Worried!A/la/stor. I did my best to balance the silly, the hurt, the comfort, the snz, and the feels! And I chose the macro and monsterfucker parts because it is my personal responsibility to experiment with my writing and, in the process, make myself suffer at all times. 👍

This is a sequel to my previous fic Overworked and Under-Managed, but honestly it can also be a standalone thing too! Though I did sprinkle in a few romantic gestures this time for good luck! And like before, I'm working off another Sick//tember//2024 prompt. This time it's "taking a sick day".

Quick cw! There's also a little bit of mess and, although it's not much, I still wanted to give a heads up just in case!

Alright, that's all from me. Enjoy!

---

“This is stupid.”

“Now now, there’s no need to be so touchy, Your Majesty.” Alastor cautioned, peering over a shoulder at his pathetic patient. Pouting, fluffy nightrobe wrapped snugly around his shivering frame. One arm bunching up the warm collar around his neck, a tissue box tucked under another.

“Hey! You dragged me out of bed at three in the morning without explaining anything and now I’m- ugh!” Disgust twisted the demon king’s face as he kicked swamp sludge from a poor, unsuspecting duck slipper, “—wading through whatever this shit is in the middle of a bayou! I can be as– uff! touchy as I want to be!”

“Hah! If you actually chose to sleep rather than push yourself to the breaking point, maybe then you wouldn't be here spouting your grand excuses.”

”Well maybe it's because I suck at bed rest, okay?! Sure I've got the bed part down. That's simple! Easy! One quick hop and you're done! But the rest part? Nope. Nuh-uh. The second I close my eyes I feel a tickle. And when I feel a tickle I just know I'll cause some kind of chaos around the hotel. So it's my responsibility to keep myself under control in case I– ...in ca-case I...hih!" A pause. His nose twitched, breaths turning shallow. He couldn't help but groan in frustration as he ripped a cluster of tissues from his box to stifle painfully for the billionth time.

"Ht’chnx! Hn’chxt! H-hehhh–” Sneeze. In case he sneezed. Saints above was he sick of doing that. “Heh’TCHNX’hewww…ow."

“And what well-timed proof of your incompetence. I should be grateful, really.” Alastor grumbled, dusting the newly created pink glitter from his suit. 

“Oh shut…up…hhh–!” Before Lucifer could even lift a finger to suppress another possible fit, the other slid to his back. Squeaking in alarm when his arms were restrained by the crook of an elbow, spraying a fine mist straight into a gloved palm.

“Het’CHMPH! Guhhh…” Lucifer glared up at the looming demon, “Hey, what’s the big idea?!”

Alastor released his hold with a grimace, quickly disposing the near-soaked fabric into his shadow– followed by a spoonful of hand sanitizer. “Admittedly not very big, but certainly necessary.” 

“What do you mean by–”

“Ah, here we are.”

The Radio Demon surged forward, hooking a large fan of willow leaves with his cane to reveal a sudden clearing. Moss spread thickly across the plush, overgrown field, ripples peacefully lapping at the water’s edge. Fireflies hovered just above, hemming the murky surface with a soft, warm light. It was a breathtaking sight, and it made Lucifer pale entirely. Because now he knew what was happening.

And he hated it.

“Look, Alastor, I’m not going to lie. You're the worst. Your breath stinks like a rotting carcass. Every time you open your mouth all I hear is claws on a chalkboard. And Father forbid you get a few centuries of beauty sleep because wow you need a serious makeover.”

“Is there a point to all this, or are you asking me to push you into the swamp water? At this rate I’m inclined to choose the latter.”

“The point is! The point. Is. I can't ruin something like this. This bayou is precious to you. Louisiana is precious to you.”

“Oh, please. Have you forgotten who I am? I made this place, I could easily undo whatever meager scratches you cause.“

“But that’s—”

"Regardless, your creative powers leak through whether you like it or not. You might as well release it in a space that won't harm the hotel."

“I don’t– hehhh!”

“And no, you will not get stuck in your condition by 'letting yourself go.'” Alastor stressed, pinching the space between his eyes. “If I may speak freely Sire– this is ridiculous. You’re exhausted and ill beyond belief, and if you suppress one more magic-infested sneeze I will tie your hands to the ground myself. For God’s sake, the cure to your condition eluded me until you accidentally let the damn thing slip at dinner! So what, pray tell, is so beneath the King of Hell?"

”H-heh-aht’chhhh! I'm—ht’chnx!“

“Is the transformation painful?”

“N-nuhh– no– Aht’CHSHH!”

”Does it drive you mad beyond all belief?”

“No!” Lucifer wheezed out, “Focus! I’m trying to tell you thahhh…that…sonofahhhHATSCHH-‘TCH–’TSCHH’hhiew!”

But Alastor was not focused on his disjointed, half-assed reasoning. Nor the painful failures to bury his fit through the whistle of little fireworks that followed. No, Alastor was focused on the sight that briefly flickered behind his patient. It was for only a second-- a blink and anyone would miss it-- but it was there. There, and massive. And judging by the way Lucifer suddenly froze, he'd known the same. His stare fell to his feet, pulling back his collar to reveal a fracture in his porcelain skin. Holy light pierced through the growing cracks, and Alastor found himself squinting curiously at the sight– as if the true puppeteer of such a tiny doll didn’t satisfy the hunger enough.

“Ugh, forget it! You wihh…win…‘Etchhh!”

“Good.”

“Grea– snff!-- great!”

“A pleasure doing business with you.”

A pause.

“Well?”

“I, uh. I can't do it if you're watching.”

“Oh for God’s sake.”

“Look, do you want me to take this shit off or not?!” Lucifer spat, flames spouting from his lips.

"Phrasing, Your Majesty." Alastor sighed, begrudgingly turning his back. “Better?”

乃𝒆ţt𝐄𝓇.

The sinner nearly jumped in place. It was certainly a voice that rang out— or something along those lines. More of a chorus of pitches and concepts of tone. And yet they harmonized as one.

Ť𝑒𝔰丅ιℕ𝔾, Ｔεsting!  Well. At least the idiot’s mind remains intact. It would cause quite a scene if he had to drag the drama king kicking and screaming from another plane of existence. Whew! Okay, you can look now. But take it slow because hoo boy it is a  l o t. 

The Radio Demon decided to go as slowly as he pleased– with all the caution of a bull in a china shop. And all too quickly he chastised himself, holding a hand to his temple. Maybe, just maybe, the seraphim’s warning was not unfounded.

Though the pocket of home was designed to be near endless, his mind couldn't conceive the number of wings that crossed the metaphysical. They were still somehow boxed into such a wide universe, glancing around with eyes that decorated each feather like adorned jewels. Or so the sinner presumed before the memory continued to fade for another. In fact, the only tangible features he could possibly grasp at the moment were flowing robes and two small wings that wrapped around a near-featureless head like a blindfold. 

And yet the being could see perfectly, thin lips pulled into a frown, staring with-- ah. Alastor was just adjusting, but he could certainly recognize the overwhelming anxiety. The least surprising part that he did expect, of course, was his size. He didn't just crane over Alastor. He towered over him-- a far cry from the false shell he wore. Somehow, Alastor stuffed down a pang of petty anger that threatened to overtake him.

He'll lecture the idiot on giving him a proper fight later. 

Alastor? Are you alright? The ground trembled ever-so-slightly as the Saint slowly, carefully lowered himself. 

"I'm offended that you’d even ask." The caretaker took a small step back before hopping up on a folded knee, giving it a sympathetic pat-- earning an embarrassed flush that overtook fever.

Oh, thank goodness. I almost-- I... The wings around them flared, puffing at each desperate buildup. Quickly Lucifer drew a wavering finger in a circle to create a portal, grabbing a familiar crimson fabric before pitching into it. "ATSHHHHEWW! AHDT’SCHHHHEEWW! HATSCHHHHHIIEEEWW!"

Each shiver of ivory skin sent shockwaves through the flora below– and from above sent Alastor hurtling towards the reeds.

Shit, I-I can’t see you! Did you fall? Are you okay? Lucifer squeaked, infinite irises darting.

"Okay is certainly an overstatement, Sire. You nearly ruined my coat!" An offended huff brushed the seraphim’s ever-shaping ear and, once again, The Radio Demon was meticulously scanned. Paying no mind to the sudden attention in the shadowy nook of his patient’s shoulder, playing with a tuft of shimmering plumage.

Sorry! Don't know m'own strength. Lucifer’s large body hunched in on itself in shame, quickly pressing the makeshift tissue to the space where his nose should be– now golden-tipped with irritation– desperate not to sniffle too strongly.

"Is that my blanket." Alastor's smile sharpened.

I panicked okay?!

All too suddenly the complaints stopped. Time for the saint came to a standstill, and Alastor was barely able to wonder if that was a very literal metaphor before the cotton-knit carpet beneath him hiked up again. He quickly pinned himself to Lucifer’s neck, bracing for–

“ETCHH’CHHHHHF!” He doubled over again. S-sorry, sorry! I can’t help it! I’m trying to hold back but I cahh– can’t–huh-hgf! “ATSHH’HHHHHF! HUH’ATTKSHHHEWWWW!” Rrrgh, forget it! You should go be-before– hhhHHH!

Panicking, a multitude of palms weaved into being. Desperate to stifle again, quick to suffocate–

“Oh, please.” 

Black tentacles wrapped around countless wrists and yanked, pinning them and the seraphim to the ground. He cracked open a watery eye, strikingly bright with anger as he watched Alastor hop up on his cheek. When I break– “Snff!” –break free I swear I’ll–!

“Do what, might I ask? You’ve threatened my life a million times, what’s one more?” The Radio Demon teased, focusing on keeping his patient's poor, abused nose in his reality. He pointed his cane, lightly scratching along the rims of the nostrils as he spoke. “Poor, poor Lucifer Morningstar. Despite your constant objections, you’ve served Hell for so long. Haven’t you ever wondered what it’s like to bow to someone else’s power? Especially to such a lowly sinner like me?”

Ahhh— Alasto–or!

“So tell me, oh great and benevolent fallen saint, why should I stop now? It seems quite like a fair trade to me! I get to boss around one of the most powerful beings in existence, creator of light and the illumination of free will. And you, my dear, get to take a sick day.” And with that, he poked the very end of the tip. “Effective immediately.”

“GEHH’AHTSHHHH’HUUE! ATSHHHH! HAT’KSHHHHUUE! H-HAH-AHHH–! ETCH’TCHHHH’FFF!” The bayou rocked with thrashing waves and unearthed roots. For a moment the sky flashed to dawn, then dusk, before resuming its starry night. Wind whipped through Alastor’s hair followed by a gust of debris and dirt. A few raspy, heavy breaths and the chaos slowed to a stop. He peeked open one eye, then another. Finding himself safe in the eye of the storm, cradled in a soft flurry of wings pressed to the seraphim’s chest. 

Mnnn…bless m’be. Lucifer bit back a heavy sigh before he could cause anymore damage, shaking aside his chains before scooping Alastor up. Small scarlet eyes met large, weepy ones– blindfolds making way for a sea of silver and gold. And yet Alastor swore he could see constellations underneath their elegant surface.

“Well, that wasn’t so hard now was it?”

Thadd was cruel. The other whined. He flicked a wrist between congested sniffles, lacing a cotton cloth into existence. Obdnogxiously true. But still. Fugk you.

“Have you ever known me to be kind?” The sinner tilted his head curiously, ignoring a noseblow that bent the few trunks that remained, branches laying bare at their feet. “Honestly, it’s like you’re afraid of hurting–”

Every fibre in Lucifer’s existence tensed. In that moment, The Radio Demon was suddenly very aware of what the problem was from the beginning. And it was hilarious.

“Y-you! You–” He wheezed between a laughing fit, leaning on the base of a pointer for support, “You? You’re scared I’ll get hurt by you?! Hah! I’ve always taken you for a king, but a jester? Bravo, Sire! I haven't seen such a marvelous performance since the Iroquois Theatre Fire of 1903!” 

A gleam of moonlight brushed his vision. His giggling died down to find a crystal clear orb floating in the air. Another dancing around them. And another. All mingling with the night sky to reflect an aurora of colors. The eyes that had once remained hidden came into view, leaking droplets that never quite touched the earth.

And oh, Alastor realized. He’s crying. His ears wilted against his will, and adjusted himself accordingly to remedy the error. “I must admit, I never suspected an ancient being such as yourself was capable of fear.”

Of course I’m afraid! Lucifer curled into a tight ball, clouds slicing into ribbons as he brought all wings in on himself. Leaving Alastor stunned and alone, perched outside on a slightly shaky arm. Do you know how hard it was to show you this disgusting side of myself?

“Lucifer.” Alastor scolded back at the self-loathing a little too kindly for his liking.

Oh, don’t you Lucifer me! Sinners don't exactly like being reminded of Heaven. Especially the design of God's right hand. I must be a nightmare to you!

“And?”

A wing cracked open, thousands of surprised gazes peering back. Pardon?

“How does that apply to us?” Alastor arched an eyebrow. The fallen angel blinked, pearly tears unsticking from his crystalline lashes. A flustered heat rose to the wavering spots on his cheeks.

Alastor, I am literally Hell’s version of an atomic bomb.

“Mhm.”

I could kill you if I looked too hard. You could turn to ashes.

“Sounds exciting.”

Alastor!

“What was it you said just a second ago? ‘Don’t you Alastor me’? Honestly! I find it insulting that you would even question my strength, nor allow me the benefit of the doubt. Everything I’ve done up to this point, and further still, is by my design. If you ever hurt me, rest assured that I already knew the risks a thousand times over. Besides, recovering alone is incredibly unproductive. Take it from…my own personal experience.” Sharp claws tapped against the middle of his cane, “And besides, what would dear Charlie say if she saw you in such a state? Alone and helpless, losing control of his body? Poor thing would be worried out of her mind.”

…And you? Lucifer asked hopefully, the barrier between them cracking open a little more. Just a little more.

Alastor rocked on the back of his heels, bracing himself. “I suppose so.”

Finally the curtain parted, and Lucifer raised his hand to greet the other, leaning close with a soft, ethereal smile. Thank you I really–...r-really…

The telltale sign of a twitching nose. A hand rose to his face like clockwork. His caretaker opened his mouth to protest. But before he could, it moved instead to cup Alastor in a tight-knit shelter.

“HEH’ISHHHHUHHH! ISHHH’HUUUE! HH-HGHH-HUT’TTCHUUUE! ”

His wings snapped open at the force of every outburst, tree roots ripped from their homes and marigolds snapped at the stems. A billowing fog that spilled out turned from fire to dust and back, reshaping itself again and again until it settled on a light rain, creating puddles on the ground. And when twilight finally crept back into Alastor’s vision, Lucifer was sniffling thickly– unrestrained. Relaxed. Devoid of any concern or self-pity.

Briefly, Alastor wondered if this is how it felt to fly.

I cadd’t use your bladket, right? Do– “Snrfff!” Ugh, do we have more? He smiled sheepishly, holding up the sad pile of ash that once resembled a tissue.

“Pauvre ti bête! That sounded awful. I’ll see what I can do for your fever and nose.” Alastor hummed, signaling a small lift to press a kiss to his cheek. “And thank you for trusting me.”

[arandomdai]

A Random Thought 🤔💭

THIS IS JUST AN OPINION. I JUST SAY WHAT'S ON MY MIND ABOUT THE BOOK AND SHOWCASE SOME IDEAS THAT I HAVE.

P.S.: You can ask me anything 😊

Let me start of by saying...

I don't like how Zeus is the only one who is blamed for why the marriage is basically over, when Hera is (dare I say) equally at fault. This book continues to gaslight the audience about who should be held accountable and who deserves all the hate. Let's be clear on one thing, Zeus has abused his power, is a cheater, does lie, etc. but where is all the smoke for the other characters that has done the same or similar. But let's refresh everybody's memory why he started treating women disrespectfully...

⚠️WARNING: WHAT YOUR ABOUT TO READ OR SEE CAN BE TRIGGERING FOR SOME AUDIENCES!!!⚠️

•Metis: The Start Of His Addiction

So let's hypothetically say that the brothers are 3 years apart from age

Hades was 19

Poseidon was 15/16

Zeus WAS PROBABLY 13 OR 14 WHEN THIS HAPPENED TOO

I think he was not just mentally scarred from the war and seeing his mother (who he didn't know about until later)going into hibernation, but also scarred that he learned about "hit and quit it" at a very young vulnerable age. Not only that he probably learned "until everything cools down" from her too. Atp, I'm going to need this book banned or something because it just doesn't make sense to me how this book is supposed to support all victims, until it's Zeus. Zeus is a victim. No matter how many times people and RS tries to make him this evil guy. But like I said before, he has done so many wrongs, which he is trying to right. But I find it interesting that Metis is not called out for having sex with a minor. Zeus and Hera are around the same age which means back then they weren't able to consent. And yet Hera is the only victim smh. Zeus is now a sex addict and doesn't know where to start. WHEN YOU SAY YOU FEEL SORRY FOR ALL VICTIMS, MAKE SURE YOU INCLUDE THE MEN THAT ARE TOO. DON'T PICK AND CHOOSE WHO TO FEEL SORRY FOR. I hate that this book gaslights people into thinking that everything is okay when it's being pro patriarchy.

• The Marriage: Both Sides Are At Fault

We all know Zeus is very unfaithful, but he shows so much of his guilt his own way. But (I ask again) where's all this smoke for Hera and Hades. Hera is married and has been seeing her Blu brother-in-law behind his back for centuries. Yet, I don't see any ounce of guilt from her or Hades. Hera is a victim don't get me wrong, but so is Zeus. TWO WRONGS DON'T MAKE A RIGHT. And for blue gru to judge Zeus for everything while you were sleeping with his wife is vile. The fact Hera or Hades never asked him why he continues cheating or be honest with him about their affair is right down dirty. Oh but it doesn't stop there...

Look at these pictures...

See how Zeus tries his best to care for Hera and even admits that he thinks he was the worst thing that ever happened to her. While Hera just says "You made it hard for me, but I love you. Bye". She says she loves him, but I don't think she does. I think there was a time that she did love him, but I think they got bored of each other (from Zeus's perspective). I feel like Hera wanted the crown (power) more than the King. She treats being a queen like it's a trophy. So she basically blocked Demeter from being queen all just to not be satisfied later (which I'm glad Demeter dodged a bullet). Not only is Hera cruel, but she is just insufferable. She treats everyone like crap and expects everyone to be nice to her including Zeus. He fights tooth and nail to do right by her or win her back, but she doesn't see him trying to be a better husband nor do the same. She doesn't even try to make it a safe place for him to talk to her and be honest. When he wakes up, that divorce paper needs to be signed with the quickness because they're both miserable, they're both want there freedom, and they're not happy.

• My Final Thoughts

Zeus's life is basically 16 CARRIAGES by Beyoncé. He was minding his business at Lake Dikte just a village boy helping nymphs, until Rhea came. Rhea told a early teen Zeus that he has to help his brothers and stop his tyrant father from destroying the world. After everything, he was mentally scarred at the age of 14. I know this is wishful thinking, but I think if he went to lake Dikte (after he wakes up), I think he would be more at peace again. He deserved better. And for this book to have so many contradictions throughout makes this book hypocritical and morally corrupt. You can see the stark difference between teen Zeus and the Zeus we see now. When looking at the picture on right, you see his bags showing more verses the left one when he was younger. This shows you how tired, hardworking, and mentally drained he is.

[kings-highway]

consider this: Soldier, Poet, King by The Oh Hellos, but as the main trouble-makers of Paranormality.

"There will come a soldier who carries a mighty sword. / He will tear your city down." -> "Daichi is not one of us - the bigeneric children born of alien experimentation are like parasites on this planet, they can cast their eyes onto the yokai without belief in them, forcing them to exist without purpose, to live in uncertain circumstances."

Perhaps not a sword, but certainly his nature - his inability to let sleeping dogs lie. Every time Oikawa called on him, Daichi unwittingly answered each time as though he were a soldier following the orders of his commander. When let loose, he did not stop his hunt. He stuck his nose in the dirt and kept sniffing out the drugs buried in a dealer's backyard (metaphorically speaking). Mixing that quality with his poisonous DNA seeping into the very fabric of the supernatural universe, the product is a man who can crumble towers with each footfall, who can make the citizens tremble at the end of his bayonet.

"There will come a poet whose weapon is his word. / He will slay with his tongue." -> "That is the unfortunate burden that we both must carry as believers - there would be no power in your belief if you were able to see it so easily, would there?"

His belief in Daichi's alien heritage, or at the very least, his belief that Daichi's father was up to something shady, is what, essentially, made Daichi an alien. If he had never been told, never been given the inkling of an idea that he is anything but human, then he wouldn't have had to deal with the adverse effects of seeing yokai. Oikawa believed in his ability to perceive, so Daichi did. Oikawa believed that being a monster does not make you monstrous, that the name of the woman who died by her husband's hand is her maiden name, not the one of her murderer. He can destroy and create worlds with words in his mind, with words spoken aloud.

"There will come a ruler whose brow is laid in thorn. / Smeared with oil like David's boy." -> "Sinistrals are not inherently magic but ones born and bred from bloodlines of power and superstition have innate…"

He cannot perceive the yokai. In fact, he barely even believes in them. Yet, he is the only one who can innately physically affect them before they touch him. With Daichi, he can see them. He doesn't know how to lay his hands on them before they've already gotten ahold of him. Using your sinistral hand can be learned, but Ushijima's ability is innate. He is strong in his ancestral power. He is marked with centuries of superstition, a bloodline capable of bringing the yokai to heel. His arm can move as a separate part of him. The very oil of the yokai is smeared into his skin, his veins, his bones, to the neurons connecting to his brain.

these are not set in stone, i think, considering i could also make a sound argument for all three of them in every position, such as both oikawa and daichi in the ruler spot, and ushijima as the solider. and so on and so forth. but, this is what i'm going to go with and submit. i fear i cannot consume media normally. will i be back in the future? maybe. just wanted to leave you with this, and should you have any thoughts, of course i'd love to hear them.

(obviously i know this song is about jesus christ. but it is something to be said that when these three came together, the bigener, the believer, and the sinistral, they tore the city down, as the last line of the song would go.)

I am CRYING.

dear readers, in case you haven't been following along @mania-sama has been waging psychological warfare against me for a few weeks and I'm pretty sure it's punishment for making them enjoy an DaiOi fic

this has killed me. is it possible you understand the themes and motifs of these characters more than i do? absolutely. fuck you. Also, deeply impressed that you put Ushijima up there, because he initially was slated to be the third metaphorical heavy hitter of the story but I decided to bench him for a bit and instead he will be back in a sequal to develope what the sinistrality hand meant. BUT FU K YOU BECAUSE YOU'VE SPOILED IT. HOW DID YOU NAIL IT 100% ON A SUBJECT I BARELY FUCKING TOUCHED. YOU GOT IT. ABLE TO TOUCH THE YOKAI BEFORE THEY TOUCH HIM. SATURATED IN THEIR OILS. IM CHEWING ON YOU MANIA. IM CHEWING ON YOU SO HARD. DO YOU FEEL THESE TEETH GNAWING? MMMHMMMM TASTY MANIA MUNCH MUNCH MUNCH.

Anyways I love you thanks for this I have to go back to work and be normal for another 5 hours now.

EVERYONE should read this. If you read Paranormality: its accurate. You know that. Enjoy the extra. IF YOU HAVENT this is the best goddamn endorsement of the story I could have written.

[lampmanliveblogs]

Yesterday's Lie, Today's Truth, Tomorrow's Promise chapter 2 (beta)

Heeey, y'all remember that Vee fic I've been toiling away at? I finally, just now, five minutes ago, got the second chapter done. Sorta, anyway. This bad boy ended up being just over 10 000 words long... and it was originally supposed to be longer, but I decided to split it into two.

I havenät run this through any spellcheck or grammar check, and I mgiht go back to change some stuff before fnal publication, but I'm probabaly not gonna change too much plot-wise. It took me a long time to get it into a state that works, and I think I did a decent job.

I am planning on actually putting this story up on AO3, but I wanna make sure to have at least the first three chapters done and ready before that. The next chapter should hopefully not be as long as this one.

For now... enjoy!

(oh, and I actually settled on a title!)

(also, i just realized that copy-n-paste didn't copy-n-paste any of the italics... meh, it's 01:00 at night right now and I need my beatuy sleep)

xxXXxx

Lamp Entertainment presents…

The night was growing old, but Masha was wide awake. Lying in Luz’ bed, looking up at the glow-in-the-dark stars glued to the bunk above. They were tired, dead tired, but thoughts buzzed around their head like ten million fireflies, keeping them awake.

Not only were shapeshifters, basilisks, witches, magic, demons, and other worlds real, but shapeshifting basilisks demons from another world filled with magic and witches were real. Masha had spent most of summer sharing a bunk bed with one, just as they were doing now. It was a lot to take in.

Oh, and the story about the Wittebane brothers meeting a witch? It was true. The brothers had met a real witch, a witch that they had followed back to the Demon Realm, the world of demons and witches. Not only that, but old Philip Wittebane was still alive and kicking, turned into a monster and spending the last four centuries working on a plan to exterminate all witches.

That evil, wicked man was the reason Vee was alive. Vee had been… brief in talking about her origins. Masha knew better than to pry too much, and thank Goddess Marco and Samuel did too. Just telling them about her true identity had obviously been very difficult for her, and if there were things she wasn’t ready to tell them yet, then they shouldn’t pressure her.

Even so, what she did tell them did not paint a pretty picture.

”My name, it’s Vee as in V, as in ’five,’” she had explained, holding up two fingers forming a V. Her voice trembled and her gaze lowered, looking at something far, far away from the comfort and safety of her new home. She took a deep, unsteady breath before speaking again. ”I… am number five. Lab animal number five.”

And all of the sudden it made so much sense why ”Luz” had spent the first few weeks of camp jumping at every sudden sound and always looking over her shoulder. Why she would always sneak out of bed when she thought everyone was sleeping to make sure the door wasn’t locked.

It made Masha’s blood boil. Philip Wittebane better never show his face in Gravesfield again, or so help them…

But… something else troubled on Masha’s mind. They reached down on the floor, grabbing the vaguely clothes-shaped pile of fabric that was their discarded costume. The deck of cards was still in the pocket where they left them, still in the same order. The first three cards were still The Two-Headed Snake, The Light, and The Red String.

They shuffled the deck thoroughly and drew the first three cards again.

The Light. The Red String. The Two-Headed Snake.

What was the chances of drawing the exact same three cards? One in a million?

Maybe there was still some magic in them…

Eventually, Masha drifted off to a sleep filled with dreams they couldn’t remember in the morning.

Chapter 2: For the Future (that we can’t see)

Vee woke up early, before the others. Well, it wasn’t that early, it was just past eight in the morning. But considering the late night, it felt early even as the sun shone through the window.

She spent some time just coiled up in bed, enjoying the comfortable warmth under her two blankets. She thought if going back to sleep, but eventually convinced herself that it was time to rise and shine.

The others were still asleep, so Vee climbed down from her bunk as quietly as she could. Easier said than done when you had a thick tail instead of two nimble legs. Somehow, she made it down without waking anyone up, though that might have had more to do with the fact that her old cabin mates were exhausted after yesterday.

She noticed a deck of Hexas Hold’em cards lying on the floor. She recalled Masha playing with a deck on the day Luz contacted her from the Demon Realm. Vee couldn’t smell any magic left in them, which meant it was probably the same deck. They must’ve fallen out of Masha’s pocket. She gathered them and put them in a neat stack next to their costume.

She slithered silently out the room, past Samuel and Marco in the guest beds that used to belong to Willow and Amity. The whole thing reminded her of summer camp. She’d often wake up before her cabin mates then too, often sneaking out to enjoy the early morning sun. Masha had called camp prison, but as far as Vee was concerned, her first true sense of freedom had come from that place.

Making it down the stairs was one of those things that was a lot more uncomfortable with a tail than it was with a pair of legs, but Vee decided to stay in her true form for a bit longer. For the longest time, even before she made the decision to tell them, there had been an insistent voice in her head telling her that her friends would find her true form repulsive. It was nice to learn that wasn’t the case.

Oh stars, she could barely believe it! She had told them! She really had told them! Even though the thought had terrified her, she had still gone through with it. And it worked out, they didn’t hate her, they didn’t resent her for deceiving them.

There were some things she hadn’t told them. Things she had only ever told Camila, late one night after she woke up screaming from a nightmare. She wanted the truth to be a happy thing, not marred too much by what had been.

Vee was determined to move beyond her past pain. At times, the darkness made itself known at the back of her head, deep within her lizard brain. But she was getting better and better at pushing back. She had optimism for the future.

First things first though. She needed to call Camila’s work to let them know she was going to need a few days off. Vee, being naturally paranoid and a born liar, had already fleshed out a halfway decent story.

It took some convincing and a little bit of improv, but Vee was eventually (imitating Camila’s voice, of course) able to get Camila’s sudden leave accepted.

Once that was done with, Vee began cleaning up the mess in the living room while contemplating what to do with Luz. Should she take on her appearance and go to school as her again? Or should she call the school and inform Luz wouldn’t be coming for a few days? Both alternatives had its ups and downs. On one hand, Vee actually did like school and learning about the Human Realm. And Luz’ grades really did not need to get any worse. On the other hand, keeping up the deception would add another element of complication. Vee was good, but was she that good?

She mulled over it while cleaning up until she heard movement coming from upstairs. She turned to her friends groggily making their way down the stairs.

”Good morning!” she said cheerfully.

”Wow…” Samuel whispered. ”I was halfway convinced I was dreamt up everything,” he said a little louder.

”Not me, cause I’m not that creative,” Marco said.

”I gotta say, I think it would make for a pretty good story,” Samuel continued. ”A demon fleeing from an evil emperor ends up in the world of the humans, accidentally taking the place of a young girl headed for summer camp… yeah, that’s a good story. Maybe I should write a book about it.”

”Don’t you have like fifty-eleven different fanfics you’re already writing?” Masha teased him. Samuel blushed.

”I do finish some of my fanfics,” he said defensively. ”Unlike my thirteenth favorite fanfic writer, The Lampman. That guy couldn’t finish a fanfic if his life depended on it. ”

”I don’t know who that is, but he sounds like a talentless hack,” Marco said.

”I’m sure he’s not that bad,” Vee said. ”Anyway, here I am, very much real. By which I mean ’real-ly hungry.’ Anyone else want breakfast? I’m starving!”

The others agreed that breakfast would be nice. Vee lead them into the kitchen and began fixing some food. One thing the other Cabin 7 members had noticed about ”Luz” was that the way she’d scarf down her food at every meal like she had never eaten before. Which, based on what they now knew of Vee’s past, sadly made a lot of sense. Though that was not the only thing they had noticed about Luz ’ eating habits.

”You used to choke on your food a lot,” Masha observed. They were absentmindedly playing with the deck of Hexas Hold’em cards. ”Was that because you usually swallow your food whole?”

”Yeah, pretty much,” Vee confirmed while frying up some eggs. ”I do have teeth to chew with if I have to, but I usually don’t. Human throats are a lot less flexible than basilisks and I wasn’t used to it.” To demonstrate what she meant, she took an apple lying on the counter and swallowed it whole, making her throat bulge outward.

”Not gonna lie,” Marco said. ”That was a kinda gross.”

”You should see how I eat eggs then,” Vee chuckled. ”The difficult part is spitting the shell out in one piece.”

”Th-thanks, but I think we’ll skip that one,” Samuel quickly interjected. He looked contemplative for a moment. ”Do you have… is it poison or venom? I can never remember the difference.”

”If I bite you and you die, I’m venomous,” Vee explained. ”But if you bite me and you die, then I’m poisonous. And no, I don’t have venom. Don’t know if I’m poisonous though. I might be.”

”What if I bite myself and I die?” Marco asked. ”What does that make me then?”

”Stupid,” Masha said, prompting a good group laugh.

”No new information there,” Marco said between giggles.

The eggs done, the gang sat down at the table. Sitting on chairs designed for human creatures with things like ”legs” and ”butts” was yet another thing that was a bit awkward for Vee. She’d usually just stand at the table, but she decided to sit down this time. Before she sat down, she grabbed a special jar from one of the cabinets.

It had a homemade label, saying in neat handwriting that it was ”For Vee only.” A second pencil had added a small face making a sick face, to which the first pencil responded that ”I told you so.”

Her friends watched with interest as she took four slices of bread and spread thick layers of jar’s contents on them. It looked like some chocolate spread, but with strange lumps in it.

”What is that?” Masha asked finally. ”Is it some kind of special basilisk food?”

”Uh… kinda?” Vee hesitated. ”It’s nutella, with protein powder and, um… wood chips and sand.”

This was met with wide stares.

”Wood chips… and sand?” Samuel asked, as if to make sure he heard it right.

”It’s good for my digestion,” Vee said with a little shrug. ”It was either that, or I keep chewing on twigs I found on the ground. Camila thinks I need a lot of protein, so that’s what the protein powder’s for.”

”And the nutella…?” Masha asked.

”Oh, that’s for taste,” Vee said. Deciding that was enough explanation, she took one the fried eggs and sandwiched it between two bread slices slathered in the cursed nutella. ”I think Demon Realm stomachs are just tougher than human stomachs,” Vee said between bites of her sandwich. ”Luz told me there was a bunch of foods she couldn’t eat in the Demon Realm, but the others didn’t seem to have any problems with anything from here. Well, except for garlic.”

”What, they couldn’t eat garlic?” Masha asked in-between bites of their own sandwich. ”Like vampires?”

”Precisely,” Vee said with a nod.

”Wait, really?” Masha exclaimed, nearly choking on their food. ”Vampires are real? And they can’t stand garlic? That part’s true!?”

”Yes,” Vee said, smiling at the funny face Masha was making.

”Oh, so that’s why you had cloves of garlic next to your bed,” Marco said and nodded a little. ”It’s to keep the vampires away.”

”Kinda. There aren’t any vampires in Gravesfield (I hope), but it makes me feel safer to sleep with it,” Vee explained. ”Hunter said that basilisks and vampires used to be natural enemies, since, well… we both kinda feed on witches… Garlic is deadly to vampires, and since a lot of witches have vampire ancestry, a lot of them have inherited a garlic allergy.” Vee smiled at a memory. ”Willow’s and Gus’ weren’t that bad, but Amity’s was really bad. Luz was devastated, because one piece of garlic bread meant no more kisses for the day.”

That image garnered a few laughs.

”I can’t wait for you guys to meet Luz, the real Luz,” Vee said. ”She’s the coolest! Seh fights Belos and doesn’t afraid of anything.”

”Well, I think you’re pretty cool,” Masha said. They reached out to hold Vee’s hand, soft skin meeting rough scales. ”My whole life I’ve been looking for signs of the supernatural, for ghosts or demons or what have you… but I never ever dreamed of meeting, much less becoming friends with a living, breathing demon!”

Samuel put a hand on Vee’s shoulder.

”And I’m really happy you felt comfortable enough to tell us your secret,” he said. ”I know it couldn’t have been easy. I’m honored you felt you could trust us that much, and I promise you won’t regret it.”

Marco put his hand on Vee’s other shoulder.

”I used to think Cabin 7 was the coolest cabin in Connecticut,” he said. ”Now I know we’re the coolest in the whole world. I mean, who else can say they have a freakin’ shapeshifter as a friend?

”Aw, you guys…” Ve was struggled to hold back tears. She lost that battle, and big warm tears started rolling don her cheeks. ”I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner,” she sobbed. ”I wanted to, but I never dared.”

Masha, Samuel, and Marco acted in unison, standing up to embrace Vee in a big group hug.

”Hey, it’s okay, I know what that’s like,” Masha reassured her. ”Keeping a part of yourself secret even to those that love you… it eats away at you. It took me forever to come out to my parents, even though I knew they’d accept me for who I am… anxiety’s a bitch.”

”Th-thanks,” Vee said. She managed to wriggle one arm free to wipe the tears off her face. ”You guys really are the best.”

They stood huddled together for a minute, until Vee felt her love of hugs starting to give way to her fear of being restrained.

”I’m fine, I promise,” she said, trying to wriggle free of the group hug. ”I’m just so happy is all.”

Eventually, the Cabin 7 crew relented with their physical affection and let her go. They had breakfast to finish after all.

The three humans watched with equal amounts fascination and disgust as Vee ate an entire banana, without peeling it. ”The shell doesn’t taste that good, but hey, it’s the inside that counts, right?” she said. And really, who could argue with logic like that?

Her friends had a few more questions about her biology yet.

”Do you shed your skin like a snake?” Samuel asked while helping to gather the dishes.

”Uh-huh,” Vee hummed, putting the dishes in the sink. She decided to be lazy and do them later. ”I actually shed not too long ago. The old skin’s in a box in the basement, if you wanna see it.”

”…that’s a hard pass for me bro,” Marco said. ”Why would you even keep it?”

”What were we supposed to do, throw it out in the garbage?” Vee asked rhetorically. ”You saw how Jacob acted yesterday. After Camila locked him in his own cage, he hasn’t dared to go after us directly. But I don’t think he’s above digging through the trash to find proof there’s a demon living here. As is, everyone thinks he’s a raving lunatic conspiracy nut. Which, to be fair, he is, he just happened to stumble onto the truth this one time.”

The three friends nodded, for the first time realizing just what it would mean if Jacob actually did get proof of demon presence in Gravesfield. The town had a history of witch hunting already, who’s to say the people of today wouldn’t continue the tradition should they learn of Vee’s presence? Not to mention what the government might do to get their hands on an interdimensional traveler.

”It must’ve been incredibly hard for you,” Masha said. They were still playing with the deck of Hexas Hold’em cards, shuffling them and drawing the first three cards. ”To have to pretend to be someone else, in a world you know nothing about.”

”It wasn’t easy, that’s for sure,” Vee admitted. ”But, well… it’s kinda what we basilisks do. We disguise ourselves, observe, lie, infiltrate, feed, survive… a lot of it was pure instinct. I’m a natural liar.”

Samuel shook his head.

”’Liar’ is a bad word,” he said. ”Very strong, very stigmatized. Say you’re a born actor and a natural talent at improv.”

This made Vee laugh.

”If you say so,” she giggled. She cleared her throat and the next time she spoke, her voice was an exact imitation of Samuel’s. ”A lot of it was instinct. I’m a born actor and a natural talent at improv.”

”You’re so gonna have to help me write my résumé,” Masha said to Samuel, prompting a brief chuckle.

”I’ve been thinking of doing NaNoWriMo this year, so I’ve been practicing how to make sentences longer,” he explained. He then had to spend the next fifteen minutes explaining what that was and deflect questions his friends had about the novel he was totally going to write.

After breakfast was done with and the table cleaned up, a natural question arose:

”So… what now?” Marco asked.

”I’m thinking that maybe I should take over as Luz for a little while,” Vee said. ”But I’m not sure. For now though… I suppose the first order of business is to get Camila’s car back. I know she has a spare key in the key cabinet. So I guess that’s today’s project.”

Masha looked skeptical.

”Do you have a driver’s license?”

”No…” Vee admitted. ”But I can turn into Camila, and I’m sure there’s some other identification lying around I could use. And that’s assuming I even get pulled over, and why would I get pulled over?”

”Normally you’d have a point, but the police have been on edge lately with all the break-ins,” Samuel said. ”My mom told me she’s been pulled over five times in her life, and three of them have been in the last month.”

”I think we’re missing something obvious here guys,” Masha said. ”Vee, do you even know how to drive?”

”I mean… no…” Vee said slowly. ”But I’m sure I could figure it out!”

”…I’m driving it home for you,” Masha stated, not leaving it up for debate.

”Yeah, that’s probably for the best,” Vee conceded.

Before they left, Vee quickly grabbed a few cups of brown pellets that she scarfed down. This made Marco raise an eyebrow… not that you could tell.

”Was that…?”

”Dog food, yes,” Vee sighed, clearly having had this conversation before. ”It’s filling.”

”Wow,” Marco said, not sounding particularly impressed or surprised. To be fair, the Luz he had known at camp did seem like she might eat dog food. ”You weren’t lying when you said you were hungry before.”

”I’m still growing!” Vee said with the smallest hint of a pout. Masha drew their attention away from the deck of cards they’d been playing with, since this sounded interesting. ”I’ve got a lot of growing left before I become an adult. I haven’t even been through second puberty.”

”…second puberty?” Samuel asked.

Vee nodded.

”Yeah, it’s, uh… a thing with us basilisks.You know, like… maturing and stuff.” This did nothing to explain anything. ”Point is, I’ve got a lot of growing left to do, and I gotta eat for that.”

”How big do you think you’re going to be?” Masha asked curiously. ”Or like, how long, I guess?”

”Oh, um…” Vee scratched the back of her head. ”About… twelve to fifteen-”

”Twelve to fifteen feet?” Samuel exclaimed, impressed.

”Noooooo,” Vee said. ”Twelve to fifteen meters.”

There was a pause as the three humans processed this answer.

”Bloody hell’s bells,” Masha finally whispered, their eyes wide with awe.

Marco whistled.

”Big snake,” he said.

”That’s putting it lightly,” Samuel muttered. ”Fifteen meters is bigger than the titanoboa, the biggest snake in the fossil record.”

”Haha, yeah, I got tall genes,” Vee said nervously. She shifted into her human form. ”Shall we get going?”

xxXXxx

Gravesfield was beautiful around this time of the year. The warm browns, oranges, and yellows of the trees suited the quaint little town. The air was clear and crisp, with a hint of winter cold in the wind, though today was an unusually warm and sunny autumn’s day. A perfect day for a nice stroll with friends.

Vee’s three human friends still had a plethora of questions that needed answering, not just about her, but about the world she came from. At the same time, Masha resolved to make good on their offer to give Vee a tour of the town. Since Vee already knew her way around, they resorted to the second best option, their specialty: useless historical trivia. And so the conversation kept bouncing between the magical and the mundane as if dictated by a conversational metronome.

”So on the Boiling Isles, all life and magic comes from the Titan whose body actually makes up most of the isles. All magic is made up of four basic elements, light, fire, ice, and plant. It’s really cool too, because when I eat magic I can taste the different elements. So Amity’s abomination magic, for example, is mostly plant elemental, with a bit of light and hints of fire and ice. Now, Gus’ illusions on the other hand are almost completely light elemental…”

”So you’ve all probably wondered why the library in town is called that, right? Okay, you’ve probably never even thought about it, but R.E.O.S Gravesfield Public Library is a pretty odd name, don’t you think? Turns out the old library burned down in 1931, and since this was during the Great Depression, there wasn’t any money to rebuild it. But as luck would have it, the millionaire industrialist, philanthrope, and hobbyist ghost hunter Robert E.O Speedwagon came to visit Gravesfield in 1933. This place was well-known for being haunted even back then. He didn’t find any ghosts, but he apparently took such a liking to the town that he offered to personally fund the construction of a new library. Thus, it was named after him. Speedwagon was an interesting fella, because he wasn’t born into wealth, no, he started out as a thug on the streets of victorian London…”

”Really, I swear, dog food isn’t that bad. Dogs are supposed to be man’s best friend right? Why would you feed your best friend something that’s gross? Amity, Gus, and Willow tried some, and they didn’t think it was half bad. Then again… Hunter nearly threw up… and so did Luz. Huh…”

”Speaking of ghost hunts, one of my favorites has got to be Mr. Hunter, and he actually visited Gravesfield once. As I recall, he wrote that while he didn’t find any ghosts, there was undoubtedly something eerie about this place that he couldn’t put his finger on. Like a subtle hum in the air, inaudible to the human air but still felt in your body. He visited the old graveyard while they were doing some digging and reburials, so maybe he could somehow sense the presence of the titan’s blood? Because I really do believe some people have extrasensory perception. People will say that ’Oh, the Stargate project never found any psychics,’ but do you really think anyone with real psychic abilities would tell the government? Best case scenario, you get locked up and experimented on for the rest of your life…”

”No, no, I’m not exaggerating, it’s an island on top of the body of an ancient giant. It’s just like that one story you told at camp Masha, about that giant that was killed by some gods who made the world out of its body.”

”Oh, you mean the norse creation myth? I love that one, it’s so metal. So in the beginning, there was a land of fire, a land of ice, and a great gap between them…”

It didn’t take too long for Samuel and Marco both to realize (and the fact that Marco noticed just went to show how obvious it was) that they were being slowly excluded from the conversation. There was no malice or ill will behind it, no. It was more so the fact that Masha and Vee seemed to only have eyes and ears for each other.

Vee looked at Masha with such affection and attention whenever they started talking, you could almost see her ears perk up under her hair. And Masha was always up for talking about history or ghosts or whatever else interested them that day, but the excitement with which they spoke to Vee was unparalleled.

As the odd bunch reached the center of town, it had become pretty clear what was going. Marco and Samuel had unintentionally become the third and fourth wheel on a date.

”Ooh Vee, you’ve got to try the new chai latte they’ve got at Robin’s Roast,” Masha said excitedly. ”Do you boys want anything?” They added, once they remembered the boys existed and were present.

”No thanks, I don’t like coffee,” Samuel declined. ”B’sides, I promised I’d be home by lunch, so I better get going.” He glanced at Marco. As per usual, Marco’s expression was nearly impossible to decipher, but it seemed like he got the hint.

”Yeah, and I only drink water,” he said. This was true; he only ever drank regular water. At most he’d treat himself to some ice water. He had never explained why. ”And I probably should get home as well. See you around!” he said and waved as he and Samuel went on their ways.

”See ya!” Vee said and waved back. She turned to Masha. ”And I’d love to try one of those chai lattes.”

”Great. My treat,” Masha said and started leading Vee towards the cafe.

Vee came to a sudden stop though just before they could enter.

”Oh uh,” she mumbled.

”What’s the matter?” Masha asked.

”Um…” Vee mumbled. ”I… don’t really wanna see her,” she whispered and gestured at someone through the window.

Masha took a peek inside the almost empty cafe.

”Who, Clara?” they asked, spotting one of Luz’ classmates. She was easy to recognize, with her bright blonde hair with a streak of pink. ”Did you or Luz get into a fight with her?”

”Wha-no, not Clara, the other one,” Vee said and pointed at the only other person in the room.

”Maya?” Masha said, surprised.

”You know her?”

”Sorta,” Masha shrugged. ”Believe it or not, but I’m a frequent customer at The Magic Circle, that’s where I get all my books on the occult and paranormal. So we kinda know each other. What about you, why don’t you wanna see her?”

”Well, uh…” Vee mumbled. ”We actually went to The Magic Circle the other day while we’re trying to figure out what that old rebus was about, and, uh… we kinda… got kicked out…”

”Ah, I see,” Masha said, a small smile playing at the edge of their lips.

”Really, it was mostly Gus’ and Willow’s fault,” Vee said defensively.

”If you say so,” Masha snickered. ”Don’t worry, I’ll go in and face this challenge alone,” distorting their voice into a dramatic growl, making Vee giggle.

”Alright, I’lll be waiting somewhere around. I don’t wanna stay too close, lest she see me.”

Masha nodded and entered the cafe. Vee turned around and started walking away in a very natural and unsuspicious manner, not at all reminiscent of someone who had just spotted someone who they really did not want to spot them.

She rounded the corner of the block, and realized too late that she had found herself back at the scene of the crime. Literally; The Magic Circle was cordoned off with bright yellow police tape.

What in the…? When did this happen?

Vee approached slowly, watching out for shards of glass on the pavement. Most of them had been swept up and to the side, but there were a few missed glittering in the high sun. Someone had broken open the door, nearly ripping it off its hinges, sending glass flying everywhere in the process. Not only that, but the metal bars that were supposed to stop anyone that had forced open the door had been cut and bent out of shape. Someone really wanted to get into that store.

A fleeting scent reached Vee’s nose, and she instinctively took a deep breath. She dared a little bit closer, almost to the point where she touched the police tape. She could hear people talking and moving inside, likely investigators trying to figure out who was behind this crime. It was not the noise that brought Vee close though, but the scent.

There was a faint smell in the air, a smell Vee recognized. Not from the realm of humans, but one from the realm of demons. It wasn’t magic, but rather the memory of magic, the ”soot” and ”smoke” of a spell. It smelled like someone had performed magic here… but no one, not Amity, not Gus, nor Willow had cast any spells while they were here. And even if they had, that was two days ago. Surely the smell would would have faded away into nothing by now… surely…

xxXXxx

The familiar smell of ground coffee beans and freshly baked pastries greeted Masha as they entered Robin’s Roast, well before the employee behind the counter could. They threw a glance at the sign showing customers that had managed to get themselves permanently banned. A pale woman with grey hair and bright golden eyes and a wild smile; Marilyn. Except that was not her real name. She was Eda the Owl Lady, a powerful witch from another world. She had come here once, tired to pay with a raccoon, cursed the croissants, and then ran away. To be honest, from what Vee had told them, this Eda seemed like an icon of chaos and unadulterated confidence. In other words, very much the kind of person Masha aspired to be.

Masha nodded to Maya before going to place their order. Two chai lattes, and these ones were the best in town. Well, they were the only in town, but still. They were good, Vee was sure to love them. After a moment of consideration, Masha decided to grab two two cupcakes as well. They had a chocolate-and-coffee frosting and were decorated with white and black hearts.

Without thinking, Masha reached into the pocket where they kept the deck of cards. Their thumb brushed over the topmost card. The Red String.

”… on a date?”

”Hm?” Masha hummed and spun around to face the voice taking to them. It was Maya, sitting by her lonesome with a by now cold coffee.

”You on a date?” she repeated, causing Masha’s brain to malfunction.

”Wha-? N-no, it’s not a date! We’re just friends.” Incredibly enough, Masha managed to stutter forth the exact series of words that anyone who was on a date but didn’t want to admit it was a date would say. Amazing. They felt their cheeks begin to heat up.

Maya, as expected, looked unconvinced.

”Yeah sure. And your ’friend’ with the green hair is real subtle.”

”You… saw her?” Masha said, keeping their tone low. Even if Vee’s other friends hadn’t done a crime, it was probably for the better not to draw too much attention to the basilisk hiding amongst humans. They glanced at Clara, who looked absolutely miserable over in the corner of the cafe, sulking with a half empty coffee mug.

”Yeah…” Maya said slowly. ”Kind hard not to, with the green hair and bright orange sweater. She’s like a walking traffic cone.”

That image was enough to make Masha forget their nervousness and start chuckling. Maya didn’t joke often, but when she did, she did not miss.

”She thought you might be mad at her,” Masha explained, still keeping their tone low. ”She said that last time you two met didn’t end so well.”

”Water under the bridge,” Maya said. She stirred her coffee with a spoon, not that it did much good since it was already cold.

”…wasn’t it less than two days ago.”

”Lot of water passes under the bridge in two days,” Maya said with a shrug. She tapped a coin lying on the table. It looked like it could be gold, though it probably wasn’t, and it had a spiral symbol on it. ”But you can let her know that her friends aren’t gonna get in trouble if they come back. I literally could not be arsed to report that stolen costume. And, well… with what happened, another missing costume isn’t that big of a deal.”

”What, what happened?” Masha asked, slipping back to normal conversational tone. Something else had happened at The Magic Circle since then? This was news to Masha.

”You didn’t see it on the way here?” Maya raised her eyebrow. Masha had never claimed to be great at reading facial expressions, but they could somehow decode exactly what Maya meant, calling Masha out on being… distracted by their company.

”If it was something at The Magic Circle, then no, we came from another direction,” Masha said quickly, internally cursing their traitorous body for pumping excessive amounts of blood to their cheeks.

”Yeah, well, someone broke into the store,” Maya said. ”Completely trashed the front door. Hence why I’m here instead of at work.”

”Oh no, that’s terrible,” Masha said. Genuinely, that was their favorite store in town. It was a much-needed haven for a social outcast enby goth like them. ”That’s what, the fifth this month?” The last month or so had seen an unprecedented number of break-ins and thefts happening in the otherwise peaceful little town. The last place to be hit was a private workshop. The thief had made off with thousands of dollars worth in tools, car parts, and electronics. ”Was anything stolen?”

Maya nodded.

”Mhm. No cash though, which is weird, didn’t even touch the safe. No, they stole some costumes and a bunch of jewelry. And cassette tapes, which is even weirder to me. If they were originals, then maybe they’d be worth something, but the ones we have are cheap replicas for nostalgia’s sake.”

Out of the corner of their eye, Masha saw Clara suddenly get up from her chair and hurry out. In her haste, she bumped into Masha. She mumbled a quick sorry and was gone before Masha even had the time to tell her it was fine.

”Geez, what lit a fire under her ass?” Maya said dryly, watching through the window as Clara all but ran her way from Robin’s Roast.

”I dunno, maybe she realized she was late for her class on being a bitch,” Masha said. They almost regretted saying that immediately, because in the grand scheme of things, Clara was not that much of a bitch… though she was far from a saint. Still, it was a funny joke that almost made Maya laugh.

”Yeah, probably,” she said. Her eyes flickered to the floor. ”You dropped something.”

”Oh, thanks,” Masha said and bent down to pick up the Hexas Hold’em cards that had slipped out of their pocket when Clara collided with them.

There were three cards on the floor. Now, you’d think that since The Red String, The Two-Headed Snake, and The Light were the three topmost cards in the deck, those would have been the ones to fall out, but you’d be mistaken. With a slight frown, Masha gathered the cards and looked at them.

The Sword and Shield featured a winged sword and an ornate shield. The card invoked the imagery of a knight or soldier, brave and loyal. It’d be a pity to stain such beautiful things with the blood of war and conflict.

The Golem showed a large and brutish figure made from purple clay. It was probably supposed to be one of those abominations Vee had mentioned Luz’ girlfriend (Amity?) used. A figure crafted with magic, made to defend or attack, but with little will of its own.

The Whip was just that, a whip, though the tip of this one was replaced with a snake’s head. Whips were the weapon of oppressors and animal tamers, who ruled though fear of pain and punishment.

”Oh yeah, and the thief also stole all those cards too,” Maya said, snapping Masha out of their thoughts and back to reality. ”What were they called, Hex n’ Hold’em?”

”Hexas Hold’em,” Masha corrected, shoving the cards back in their pocket.

”Right, right… I think we got them from that creepy conspiracy nut.”

Masha nodded.

”Jacob Hopkins. I got my deck from him as well.”

”You know him?” Maya asked.

”Not really. He used to work at the Historical Society,” Masha explained, which was met by a sympathetic grimace from Maya. ”And yes, he really is as crazy as you think. Or worse even. Did you know he’s an actual flat-earther?”

”Noooooo…” Maya said slowly, in utter disbelief. ”That can’t be true! I though the whole flat earth thing was just a bad meme.”

”I wish I was kidding,” Masha said while shaking their head. ”Flat earth and witches from Mars, ancient aliens that gather in the ruins in the woods… you can see why he got kicked out of the GHS.”

”Good riddance, by the sounds of it,” Maya said.

At this point, the man behind the counter decided he was tired of listening to Maya and Masha’s banter, and so he cleared his throat to get Masha’s attention.

”R-right, sorry,” they mumbled. They quickly paid and with only some difficulty, managed to grab both cups and the paper bag with the cupcakes.

Maya was a gentlewoman and got up from her seat to hold the door open for them.

”Good luck on the date,” she said, which, despite the playfulness to her voice, still sounded genuine deep down.

”It’s not-” Masha’s words were cut off by the door closing.

Masha wasn’t privy to Maya sighing and sitting back again, reaching for the spoon to uselessly stir her coffee again… only to discover the spoon had, as if by an invisible hand, been bent out of shape.

As Masha exited back out onto the sidewalk, they scanned the street for Vee, finding that she was nowhere within sight. Following a hunch, they rounded the corner and indeed, there she was.

Vee was standing in front of The Magic Circle, dangerously close to the trashed door, almost touching the police tape. She was sniffing the air, her eyes closed in concentration.

”Good Goddess, what did you people do!?” Masha said loudly, startling Vee. She almost jumped out of her own skin as she spun around.

”Nothing, I was just curious!” she said quickly, before she even registered who it was talking to her. She relaxed when she saw who was talking to her. Masha noticed her hair move as her big adorable ear moved underneath. ”Oh. Funny. Real funny coming from you, considering you’re my alibi.”

”I dunno, they say criminals always return to the scene of the crime,” Masha said, trying to sound genuine. ”Are you sure it wasn’t you?”

”Positive,” Vee said dryly. ”No, I really was just curious. I thought I could smell something…” She threw a quick glance at the wrecked door and security bars with the hint of a frown. ”But it’s probably nothing.”

”How about we get going again then?” Masha said, holding up the goodies from Robin’s Roast. ”The tea’s getting cold, and i’ve still got many useless. I mean, ’ interesting’ historical facts to tell you. Oh, and I got us a little something extra,” they said and shook the little paper bag, though gently, as to not spill any of the still hot liquid.

Vee’s face lit up at the prospect of food and drink.

”Gladly,” she said excitedly and took the cup Masha was offering. As they started walking away from the depressing sight that was The Magic Circle, Vee smelled the tea carefully.

”You were right, this is amazing,” she said.

”Y-you do know you’re supposed to drink it, right?” Masha asked while taking a sip themselves.

”Oh, I know,” Vee said and took a careful sip. ”But there’s not much difference in smell and taste to me.”

”Really? Can’t you feel any taste?” Masha asked, intrigued. There was still so much about their friend they didn’t know. They recalled what Vee had talked about before, how she normally didn’t chew her food, so maybe it did make sense that she didn’t have much of a sense of taste.

”No, I have a sense of taste, but my sense of smell is a lot more refined,” Vee clarified. ”Didn’t you ever wonder how I became the best seeker in hide and seek back at camp?”

This took Masha a second to process. It was true that whenever the camp counselors made the kids do hide and seek among the barracks or in the nearby woods, ’Luz’ was always the best at finding people… she even earned a little gold star for it, one of many.

”You… you were tracking us… by scent?” they said slowly. Vee nodded with a big grin, revealing Masha probably had a very funny expression.

”Yeah,” Vee said, clearly holding back laughter. ”I remember the very first time we played hide and seek, and I was so confused that no one else was trying to mask their scent. That’s when I realized humans just don’t have that good a sense of smell. Uh, no offense, you humans have a lot of great qualities, especially yo-I mean-”

”That’s why you showed up covered in mud!” Masha exclaimed, suddenly remembering one of the weirder things ’Luz’ had done, and one of the few times she got in trouble at camp.

”That and camouflage,” Vee laughed, prompting Masha to start laughing as well.

Once the laughter died down, the two friends could continue with their walk through town. Masha offered Vee one of the cupcakes.

”Aw, these are so cute,” Vee said, taking a good look at the muffin, before it was to be devoured.

”A cute cupcake for a cute girl,” MAsha said before they could stop themselves. Being unable to see their own face, Masha wasn’t sure if that sentence made them blush harder than Vee, but they suspected that might be the case.

”G-gee, th-thanks,” Vee stammered. ”I-I think you’re cute too. B-but in a cool way! You’re like the coolest person I know! Wh-which I know doesn’t mean that much because I really don’t know that many people, at least when compared to the average human, which I’m not…” Her sentence trailed off at some point before it devolved into complete gibberish.

And so, in only a few seconds, the atmosphere between the two friends changed entirely. They spent a few minutes in awkward silence, wandering the streets of Gravesfield while eating their cupcakes and drinking their tea.

Masha decided to break the silence.

”So, uh… did you say you could smell magic as well?” the asked, recalling something Vee had mentioned offhandedly the night before.

Vee nodded.

”I can track magic by scent as well.” She suddenly smiled again. ”But I can do more than just track,” she said. ”I can tell all sorts of things by smell. Like, did you know Marco uses the same kind of dandruff shampoo as Camila?”

”I didn’t know Marco used shampoo,” Masha said. ”I’ve never been able to smell anything from hm other than that body spray he insists on using way too much off.”

”It really doesn’t smell that good” Vee agreed. ”Okay, but I can also tell that Samuel really need to do something about his foot fungus.”

”Eeeeew!” Masha exclaimed. ”Gross!”

”I know,” Vee said with a nod. ”It’s been pretty bad for a while now, but I noticed that it’s gotten even worse. I’m serious, it can’t be healthy.”

”Ew, ew, ew!” Masha repeated while holding their hands over their ears. ”Talk about something else.”

”O-okay, um… ”Vee thought for a moment. ”Oh, I know, something else I can do. I could tell instantly that your mom was pregnant, right when I first met her.”

…

”SHE’S WHAT!?”

xxXXxx

It took Masha a bit to calm down after that bombshell. The revelation that there were going to have a younger sibling within a couple of months was bad enough, but it was made even worse when they realized that… it must have happened while they were away at camp. Vee was profoundly apologetic about the whole thing, meagerly saying she thought they knew already, which only made things yet worse, because it was apparently an obvious thing too.

Eventually they calmed down, largely thanks to Vee distracting them by asking for more historical trivia.

Vee was a very attentive listener. As Masha had noticed before, they could notice her ears move and perk up when she heard something she thought was interesting. And those big bright eyes were so full of life and wonder at everything. Even when it came to those subjects most people who were not already interested in history found boring and irrelevant. Though Masha made sure to omit some of the more gruesome details, especially regarding the witch hunts.

The two of them spent about an hour walking around Gravesfield, enjoying their chai lattes, cupcakes, the pleasant weather and each others’ company.

As Masha set the course, they dragged Vee along in any random direction, based more so on vibes and any interesting facts they could think of. So it was quite unintentional on their part that they end up where they eventually did end up.

It was towards the south edge of town, where at one point, there had been a big push towards development. Land had been purchased and forest cut down to make way for new housing and businesses. Pretty much all of those grandiose and ambitious ideas had been abandoned for a variety of reasons… and one huge reason, the primary reason really, was what Vee and Masha found themselves looking at.

Masha came to a halt when they realized where they were, an abrupt halt that took Vee by surprise. She followed Masha’s gaze, beholding the modern ruins.

The entire area was cordoned off by a chainlink fence to keep modern urban explorers out… not that it had succeeded, as the gate had been forced open, and was only kept closed by a rock someone had placed in front of it.

Beyond the fence was a large field of asphalt, which had once had lines for parking spaces, though since long worn out. Cycles of heat, and rain, and cold without any upkeep had over the years made the asphalt start to crack. Life, ever persevering, had started to reclaim the area, with grass, weeds, and flowers growing from the cracks.

On the other end of the old parking lot stood the remains of a building. Crumbling slabs and blocks of concrete, with rusting metal beams and rebar sticking out of it like the bones of a rotting corpse. Almost every visible wall that was still standing was covered in graffiti, some so old that it had started to fade away.

Masha broke the silence.

”That… used to be a big department store,” they said slowly. ”Built in 1998, it would even remain standing for a decade. Shoddy workmanship, corrupt inspectors approving subpar construction, and the ever-present desire of those who already have more than they need to earn even more, to increase the profit margin by even just a fraction of a percent…” They stopped before they got too carried away. They had spent a lot of time looking into this case, and everything they had learned had made them more angry. They took a deep breath to calm themselves down. At their side, Vee had a mixed look of confusion and worry.

”Are… you okay?” she asked quietly. She started to reach out, but stopped halfway.

”Yeah, I’m fine, it’s just… it makes me mad,” Masha said, though Vee didn’t look very reassured. ”It was during a summer of heavy rainfall that part of the roof collapsed,” Masha continued, doing their best to slip back into history teacher mode. ”Two people received minor injuries, one employee and one customer. Examination of the wreckage as well as the original blueprints lead to the entire building being condemned and left here. The parent company promised to clean it up, but of course, nothing has happened yet. It’s only been fifteen years after all, give it some time.” Again, Masha couldn’t help but let the disgust seep through their words.

”It was the opinion of several independent experts that a leak on the roof, a problem which was known about by the staff, lead to supporting beams beginning to rust and for the roof to weaken,” Masha continued. ”Furthermore, partway through the construction, there was a change of plans and part of the air conditioning system was moved, putting additional weight on a part of the roof that was not designed to bear it. One investigator went as far as to claim that the construction company had knowingly used substandard materials in order to cut down costs. Of course, they were never taken to court for this.”

Masha stepped on a small pebble on the ground, rolling it under their shoe and fiddling with it. Vee stood by, silently waiting for the next part of the story.

”I was here on that day,” Masha said finally. ”I wasn’t old enough to remember, I was only a little over a year old when it happened, but my dad has told me the story. It was in the afternoon on the seventh of June, 2007. My parents had been visiting my mom’s family living in the next town over. On the way back home, they stopped by here to get something for dinner.”

Masha stopped and pointed at a spot close to the ruins.

”I don’t know if you can see it, but there’s some flowers growing in some of the bigger cracks over there. Mom and I planted them there on dad’s birthday last year. I don’t remember what the flowers are called, but they’re supposed to represent life.”

They cleared their throat.

”Anyway… it had been raining cats and dogs all day, so dad was supposed to head in alone while mom waited in the car with me. But just as dad was about to leave… I started crying. He said that I was sleeping before, but the suddenly… I sat up and started crying. But not just crying… he said… he told me that I was screaming. And that he had never heard me scream like that, not before, not since, not even when I broke my arm in second grade.”

Even the brief mention of that painful memory made Masha rub their arm, even though it was completely healed.

”So… dad stayed, you know, to try and figure out why I was screaming bloody murder. And… that’s when they heard a a loud rumbling and a terrible crash. Mom said that at first she thought it was thunder, and that maybe it was a lightning bolt that frightened me. But no, the sound was not thunder, it was the roof collapsing… right above the entrance. If my dad had left when he was supposed to, if I hadnät started crying…”

”Then he would’ve been caught in the collapse,” Vee finished the sentence, met by a nod from Masha.

”Mhm.”

”You saved his life then,” Vee said tentatively, still not sure why Masha was telling her this.

”In a sense,” Masha mumbled, their hand in their pocket, fidgeting with the Hexas Hold’em cards. They pulled out the deck and held them up for Vee. They spoke slowly, hesitating. ”Are… you sure there’s no magic left in these?”

Vee frowned and took the cards. She smelled them carefully, flipping through the deck. It honestly looked kinda funny.

”No,” she said after a little while. ”Not even a little spark. Even the memory of magic is gone. All I can smell on them is you.” She handed the cards back and made an attempt at a smile. ”There’s literally not enough magic in them to do a card trick.”

Masha couldn’t help but smile at the joke, and they couldn’t help but giggle at how adorably proud Vee looked over herself for that pun.

”I really did think there might still be some magic left in them,” Masha said, shuffling the deck.

”Why?” Vee asked.

”Because…” Masha took a deep breath. Why was this so difficult to talk about? It really shouldn’t be. ”Last night, at the Haunted Hayride, just before we ran into you and Jacob… I drew some cards…”

One more deep breath. Inhale, exhale. This was the moment. Time to see if they really were crazy.

They drew the first card in the deck.

”The Two-Headed Snake. A being that is dual in nature, something that is not what it appears to be at first,” Masha said. They handed the card to Vee, who was looking… how would you describe the look? Eyes wide, mouth open and jaw slack. Flabbergasted, perhaps? One might even go as far as to say she looked gobsmacked.

They drew the second card in the deck.

”The Light illuminates and reveals things in the dark.” They handed that card to Vee.

They drew the third card in the deck.

”The Red String. A deep connection.” Masha swallowed. ”Like friends, or people who are destined to meet.” They handed that card over to Vee as well. ”I didn’t know it at the time, but in hindsight… it’s an odd coincidence, right? The Two-Headed snake is obviously you, a snake with multiple faces. Then we have the light which reveals things, just like how you revealed the truth to us, shed light on the situation so to say. And The Red String, well… we were obviously connected, since we became friends at camp and then ran into each other again, even after you became someone else.”

”That… does… make sense… kinda,” Vee said, talking slowly as she tried to process what was going on.

”And it’s not only that, but this night, I shuffled the deck again and I drew those exact same three cards,” Masha said, their voice ramping up as they got more worked up. ”And now I pulled the same three cards again! That can’t be random chance, it just can’t! I thought there might be some magic left in the cards, but if there isn’t…” The sentence trailed off.

Of course they had thought about it many times before, of course, what kid hadn’t? That dream every misunderstood kid has, the dream of being special. Masha had poured over books, badly produced documentaries, and no end of shady internet forums talking about psychic powers and the like. People whi claimed they could see ghosts, or bend spoons, or see the future. susually, these people wanted you money, but every so often there appeared to be someone genuine. And even more rarely, there appeared to be someone who really could do the magical things they claimed.

”Actually…” Vee said slowly, scratching the back of her head. She gave the three cards back to Masha, who shuffled them back into the deck. ”There’s no magic in the cards, and they weren’t enchanted with oracle magic, so they couldn’t tell the future anyway… but maybe there’s something… special about you. Because, um…” Her gaze fell to the ground, like she was avoiding eye contact. ”You do… smell kinda weird.”

”Weird in what way?” Masha said a little too quickly, for the moment forgetting what they were talking about and everything Vee had said before that.

”I-it’s not b-bad or anything, just… strange,” Vee assured them, still not meeting their eyes.”You smell of… metal.”

”…metal?” Masha said, confused. ”What kind of metal?”

”It’s not really like any metal I know,” Vee clarified. ”It’s more like a metallic smell.”

”And that’s weird?” Masha asked, trying to get Vee to explain just what she was talking about.

”Yeah…” Vee finally looked up again, meeting Masha’s eyes with hers. ”I was super confused when we first met, because no other human smelled like you. They all smelled like soap, and hormones, and regular stuff. And you did too, but you also had that other smell. But… you remember Dr. Jante?”

Masha nodded. Of course they remembered the head honcho at camp. It was undeniably ironic that Reality Check Camp, which aimed to make weird kids ”normal” was created and lead by Dr. Jante, a man who was inarguably a massive weirdo himself.

”He smelled like that too,” Vee said. ”So I just kinda figured some humans smelled like that. But if what you’re saying is true, then maybe there is something more to it. Maybe… maybe humans can do magic too! My kind evolved to track witch magic, not human magic, so maybe that’s why I wouldn’t recognize it!”

”D-do… do you really think so?” Masha said. It actually took them some effort to hold back a tear. Vee, someone so incredibly special, a real demon from a world of magic and miracles thought they might be magical too. It was everything they could've ever dreamed of.

”I mean, what else could it be?” Vee said enthusiastically. "You said it yourself, the chances of getting those same three cards three times in a row are astronomical. So if a funny coincidence is off the table, then what’s left?”

”Could I really be magic? For real?” Masha asked, their voice shaking, not out of stress, or anger, or sadness, no. Out of joy; they had a big dumb smile on their face. They looked down at their hands, halfway expecting sparks to fly from their fingertips. ”Can that really be true?”

”i don’t know that it couldn’t be true,” Vee said with a shrug and a big smile of her own. ”Why don’t we ask the cards?”

”Oh… yeah!” Masha said, excited. Of course, what kind of fortune teller were they, standing here asking questions, when they should be consulting the cards. They shuffled the cards again while Vee shuffled next to them to get a good look.

The first card had an image of a black bird.

”The Raven,” Masha said, saying the first thing that came to their mind. ”An oft maligned bird, it’s nonetheless intelligent and beautiful in its own way.”

The next card showed a single arrow with an ornate metal arrowhead.

”The Arrow. A… weapon of war, or…” Masha bit their lip, trying to figure out what the card was trying to tell them. ”Direction? Showing the the way or going somewhere.”

The third cad had a crystal ball from which a ghostly figure was emerging.

”The Spirit. A teller of the future summoned to give wisdom or aid to the living.”

”Seems clear as day to me,” Vee said. She pointed at the first card. ”The bird is obviously you, ’oft maligned, but intelligent and beautiful.’ And this arrow…” Vee moved her finger from The Raven, in the direction of The Arrow, which was pointing at… ”The Spirit. That’s the symbol of the Oracle Coven, and they can see the future.” She beamed at Masha.

”I…I.” Masha didn’t know what to say. They finally lost the battle against the tears, as small droplets of joy started rolling down their cheeks. ”Thank you,” they whispered, leaning in even closer to Vee. ”You have no idea how much this means to me.”

”O-oh, it’s really no big deal,” Vee laughed awkwardly, her face becoming a deep red color. ”I jus-”

Masha interrupted her by pulling her into a deep hug. Vee made an ”Eep!” sound and stood frozen for a second before she returned the embrace, holding on to Masha hard.

She held on very hard.

Almost a little too hard.

”V-vee,” Masha said after about a minute. ”It’s.. getting hard to breathe.

”Ohmygosh, so sorry!” Vee yelled and let Masha go, nearly pushing them over in the process. ”I’m so sorry!” she said again, hr face red as a beet. ”I, uh… constrictor instinct?”

Despite being short of breath, Masha couldn’t help but laugh at that, which in turn made Vee giggle awkwardly.

”You know,” Masha said as they dried their tears. ”When we first started on this walk, I didn’t expect to learn this much about myself. Mostly I expected to teach you boring history facts and maybe to learn a bit more about you, and…” They stopped at a realization. Something they, both of them, had forgotten. Something kinda important.

”What is it?” Vee asked, noticing the change in Masha’s expression.

”…we forgot the car, didn’t we?”

”…we did.” Vee sighed. ”Aw, shoot.” The walk back would be almost an hour.

xxXXxx

Going back in time a bit, to when Clara left the cafe in such a hurry. She had gone to the right, the opposite direction of The Magic Circle. She did not want to see the scene of the crime, she was desperate to avoid it. Coming to Robin’s Roast, so close, had been a mistake.

What no one knew at this point in time was that if Clara had walked past The Magic Circle at that moment, past Vee, the basilisk in hiding… then this story would have had a very different ending. Sadly, that was not to be. Fate, it would seem, has a sense of humor.

To Be Continued…

[achaotichuman]

The Last Time He Cried

"You were a Prince?" He, she, maybe it, asked. He couldn't figure out what exactly it was. It seemed to keep shifting every time he blinked. Draped in white. Covered with white itself. Eyes white, hair white, wings white. Only it's skin, which was golden and shimmering in light that surrounded them.

It wasn't like sunlight, but soft light that poured from every direction.

He supposed there was no sun here.

"Yes." He answered. He was tired. So, so tired. He just wanted to lie down and sleep. Though there seemed no place to lie down. They floated in amongst a kind of mist. It felt like if he stepped onto a cloud. Though the creature before him sat behind a desk made of pure, glimmering gold. Writing on long rolls of parchment paper with a long feather pen.

It seemed excited, as it scribbled away, wings fluttering slightly, "You also had a mate?"

At that he felt even more tired. His heart. His stupid heart, it ached and longed and screamed.

"Yes." He croaked.

It tsked, "Shame, shame, do not worry, after you pass through it will feel like no time at all between now and when you see her-"

"She rejected the bond." He managed to say, voice cracking, "She hated me."

It quickly looked back up at him. Eyes wide and full of soft sympathy, "Oh. We don't get many of those."

Fucking pity. He wanted to scream, he had enough of that in his mortal life, "Yeah."

"Well then." It seemed so sorry, "That is awful, do not fret, Fae, once you pass through all pain will be taken."

He wanted to pass out. He wanted it to end so badly.

He thought the rope around his neck had been enough to end it.

"I thought I would end up some where I'd be punished." He murmured.

It's eyes widened, "Why would you end up like that?"

He shrugged, "It seemed the Mother hated me."

He thought it might scream at him. For blasphemy. For daring to make presumptions about the God it served.

It jotted something down. Then it stood, walking around the desk. It's robes floating around it's bare feet. Only decorated by golden rings and bangles.

It then... He thought it might hurt him.

Instead it wrapepd him in warm arms and pulled him close. He stiffened. Suddenly feeling vulnerable. On display. Somewhere his tainted soul didn't belong.

But it stroked his hair with soft fingers, "You are safe now, child. You are where no pain will ever touch you again."

No pain..

Tears glimmered in his eyes, "Really?"

It gently rocked her, "This is whom you call the Mother's lands. You have paid with your life. And now you will be cared for."

"There is no more pain." It hummed.

No more pain.

No more broken bonds.

It was all done.

He cried, he sobbed into it's chest. His body, his soul quivering with the intesity.

"Let it all go, child, this will be the last time you ever cry." It promised.

"Thank you." He sobbed, "Thank you."

"Do not thank me child, you deserve this." It sung into his ear.

He didn't know how long he stood there. How long he cried for. He wept and wept. Until his tears were rivers below him. He may have stood there for centuries, simply crying into the chest of this strange deity.

But finally his breaths slowed, and his crying ceased. The creature pulled back. And he realised it had been braiding his long hair.

When he looked at the braid. He saw that it stretched so far down into the mist below him that he couldn't see the end.

"How?-"

The creature, the angel, cut him off, "You are now in the resting place, time works differently here."

It smiled so brightly, "Now child, it is time for you to truly rest."

It took his hands and began to lead him, but he stopped shaking. It lifted a white eyebrow, cocking its head.

"I'm scared." He revealed.

For a moment there was a silence, then it smiled, gripping his hands a little tighter, "I will hold your hand the whole way."

He didn't know why that consoled him, but it did.

Finally, he walked through with it. Through white light. Into the Mother's resting place.

And when he saw what laid on the other side, he knew the angel had been wrong.

Because he cried again.

But for the first time.

Lucien wept with joy.

[blingblong55]

Autumn Leaves- Simon 'Ghost' Riley

GN!Reader, angst, character death, platonic!relationship

Another day another life Passes by just like mine It's not complicated

It hasn't been the best year for the task force. Losing someone they knew for years, losing themselves in the process. Missing someone they wish they shared one last word with. Questions cloud their minds, heart aches make this autumn worse than the last. Maybe if their friend stayed longer, maybe if their comrade was not a soldier, maybe, just maybe. Not being there, seeing them become the husbands and fathers they all joked about, the last words they gave the other when they thought they'd die back in those missions, what fools were they to believe their friend would be the first one out.

Who would be there to see their kids grow? Who would be the one to keep them in shape if not their friend. Why must this person leave so soon? The tea wasn't even out yet. Stay a little longer, for the sake of our hearts.

The last mission, what a dick move was it to leave their battle buddy out there alone. If all had gone better, the one person who saw them drink and dance would see them do it once more. The designated driver, the one who looked after them, why couldn't they stay?

"You think I'll make it past 40?"

"Not a chance."

You and him laugh and he nods. "It'd be nice if we both did," you add. He nods and looks back at the smoky night sky, his cigarette being the only reason you can see the scar from his childhood. Your gaze is now on the stars. You always looked at the little detail of the others in the team. The scar Gaz got from a shit driving by the mountains, Soap and the scar on his eyebrow, are the only reason why you took him so seriously. Price and the scar on his shoulder, the one he got when he saved you from the gunfight.

But when you turn back to look at him, you only see him walk away. "Leaving so soon, sir?" you ask and he nods, "Best if I get some beauty sleep." You chuckle, "Better sleep for a century then."

"Oi, I'm not so bad lookin' kid," he smirks, loving the banter between you two.

"Look in a mirror, sir." you chuckle and he flips you off.

Another mind Another soul Another body to grow old It's not complicated

Maybe if one fought for the other that night, the one who is now gone would have at least left leaving some memories for the new recruits. A lie that still keeps four people awake at night. Would the dead come back like the movies say? Would their beloved friend be back if some potion or if Victor Frankenstein were to be real, could their friend be back? Sew them limb for limb, do the most to just hear them say a proper goodbye. Why must this world be cruel to those who try to keep every civilian safe by sacrificing their own sanity? Why must their comrade be gone so soon?

Do you ever wonder if the stars shine out for you? Float down Like autumn leaves Hush now

"When I was a kid, me and my brother Tommy had those glow-in-the-dark stars up on the ceiling. Before my father would barge in the room to scare me, me and him actually bonded." He says as he sits next to you on the cold field. "You think maybe he is somewhere out there?" You look back to the sky. "Yeah, I'm sure he is, always told me he'd be around to bother me." from his lips a chuckle escaped.

If I had stayed, maybe we'd still have these conversations and not me talking to your graves.

"Soap, you snipe, Gaz get those communications going, Ghost, you and R/N get on that field and show them what we are known for." Price orders and then prepares himself for the old field.

Is it that it's over or do birds still sing for you? Float down Like autumn leaves Hush now

----

"Today, we are gathered to celebrate and mourn the life of a friend, comrade and the best goddamn soldier I had the privilege to work with." Price wipes his tears as he looks at the room full of people who know mourn with him.

"To me, Simon Riley was not just another soldier, he was a brother, or as I called him, my son. I met him days after the tragedy of his family and that day I swore I would protect this kid from the shit of the world and I stand here today saying I failed at the one promise I made as his then sergeant." His lips quiver. Soap and Gaz have an arm around you, keeping you or at least trying their best to calm you down.

The day you lost him, is still a blur. But what he said to you, will forever live with you. "R/N, I'm not a strong soldier, I fear so much and right now I fear I'm dying alone." his voice was weak as you heard over the radio. The run to him, the mud and cuts you had to just get to him, also live with you.

"Somewhere, in some place in Manchester, the soul of the greatest man I will ever know now roams the streets," Price pauses to gain composure. His voice breaks every now and then, "Somewhere he is teaching his nephew how to play football, his mother makes tea, to..." he stops again and wipes more tears away, "his mother makes tea, to celebrate the welcome his son. His brother sits on the green grass, watching his older brother bond with his nephew. And somewhere between the lines, he knows peace."

You get up and walk away, needing fresh air. "Simon was known as Ghost, and it pains me to say, that Ghost he will remain. But one thing changed, today, he doesn't reunite with his father, no but today I lost my...my son." Price looks at the coffin. "The men and women he worked with, they know he left a piece of him in each one of us. After 32 years of life, he can finally rest because he is the only one who truly deserves rest." His voice cracks again. "So, as we end this celebration of the man he was, I ask of you to think of him for who Simon was not for who Ghost is."

Ooh how I miss you My symphony played the song that carried you out Ooh how I miss you And I, I miss you and I wish you'd stay

You walked alongside the broken-down pavement, going hysterical. You swear you hear him call for you when the wind blows but all you have now is the dog tags of the man you called family. Hours before you had to pretend you were fine, you screamed and sobbed. "My fault, my fucking fault." you cried on your knees. The home he once brought you and the team to is now empty and haunting you with his smell. The walls with little to no decorations, the coffee stain on the counter, the empty office chair. The home he was Simon in, was now occupied by dust and old memories.

They say life is cruel to those who are nice and today, that saying became a fact in your life. Soap no longer had a battle buddy, Gaz had no mentor, Price had no older son, and R/N had no lifelong friend to turn to when shit hit the fan. And as you watched his coffin get lowered, you once more swore he called for you. One more fear was added when you watched Soap and Gaz hug each other. That fear is now losing them too. Price walked away from that moment, and you feared you would lose him too. No one can fear losing you because with Ghost now gone, you are now lost.

Touch down Like a seven four seven Or stay out and we'll live forever now

Tags: @liyanahelena @warenai @ghostslittlegf (tagged bc I know you live and cry for angst<3

[oldfriendsseniortwittersanctuary]

I'm going to break down whether every character in Zeta Gundam would sleep with Char Aznable/Quattro Bajeena. No one asked me to do this but I will anyway.

Note: I'm only including characters that interact with Char at least a little bit and/or characters I care enough to talk about. Also I'm not including Reccoa because we, uh, canonically know the answer to that question, and that's boring.

Kamille Bidan

So the question "would they sleep with Char" is technically two questions, that and "would Char sleep with them?" Unless stated otherwise I'll treat the second question as a forgone conclusion, Char would never turn down an opportunity to manipulate someone via sex. In this case though, we are talking about an underage character that Char comes to view almost paternally. That being said... yeah sorry I think Char would do it, at least early on. Sorry, Char sucks I don't know what to tell you. Conversely, though, Kamille early on has way too many hang-ups about masculinity to sleep with another man, and later on knows Char too well and knows not to get entangled in His Bullshit, so ultimately it would not happen.

Fa Yuiry

Hell no, she has far too much self-respect to fuck Char.

Emma Sheen

No, too much self-respect AND too gay to fuck Char.

Henken Bekkener

He would, but he would rationalize it away hard. "It was just two guys helping each other out," "that specific sex act isn't gay," "it was just once" (it would not be just once).

Bright Noa

He's married and it's grossly unprofessional to sleep with your subordinates, so he would not sleep with Char... sober. Put a Mai Tai or two in him and that won't be the only thing in him.

Katz Kobayashi

Oh... oof. Thankfully, this kid is far too annoying for Char to fuck, but if he wanted to manipulate Katz into it... I'm sorry to say but he probably could.

Blex Forer

Oh they're absolutely fucking on the dl don't lie.

Apolly Bay

He would try it once, just to see if he was into dudes at all. Ultimately he'd decide this wasn't for him but hey, try everything once.

Roberto

You see that mustache? Hell yea he would.

Torres

He lowkey wants to, but for some reason Char never asks. He's not mad (he's a little mad.)

Astonaige Medoz

He's too busy for this shit.

Wong Lee

I'm sorry to tell you but... yeah, yeah he would. And Char would be too pragmatic to turn him down. I'm so, so sorry for this, but it's the truth.

Haman Karn

She is preparing for the hate fuck of the century. She has been preparing for YEARS. Her Body Is Ready.

Anyway, yeah Char would decline.

Hayato Kobayashi

Maybe while drunk, but he'd have to be so drunk that even Char would be like "eh, no, this is a line I wouldn't cross."

Beltorchika Irma

She would, but it would be Cat on a Hot Tin Roof type of situation. Just... wildly unhealthy for everyone involved.

Amuro Ray

yeah maybe

[layce2015]

Supernatural (Dean Winchester x Female!Reader)

The End

Masterlist pt 1

Masterlist pt 2

*3rd Person POV*

A religious man stands outside the hotel with a handful of pamphlets. He addresses a passerby while the Impala drives up. "Hi. Good evening, brother. Is your soul rapture-ready?" he asked as the passersby ignores him. "Thank you, sir. God bless." the man said and he addresses two more people as the Impala stops in front of the hotel.

"Good evening, folks. Is your soul rapture-ready? Because what I'd like to do is just show you exactly what God's love is for you." He said but the couple ignore him. "Okay, God bless." the man said as Dean and (y/n) get out of the Impala and head for the hotel. The religious man addresses them.

"Excuse me, friends, but have you taken time out to think about God's plan for you?" He asked and the two stop and look at him. "Too friggin' much, pal." Dean replied and the two enter the hotel while the man watches them go.

"We're talking about the Colt, right? I mean, as in the Colt?" Dean asked through the phone, which was on speaker so that (y/n) could hear, as he lays on the bed. "We are." Castiel replied through the phone while (y/n) brushes her teeth. "Well, that doesn't make any sense. I mean, why would the demons keep a gun around that, uh, kills demons?" Dean asked while on Castiel's side, a car goes by.

"What? What? Did—I didn't—I didn't get that." Castiel said and Dean and (y/n) laugh before she spits out the toothpaste and finished cleaning her teeth. "You know, it's kind of funny. Talking to a messenger of God on a cellphone. It's, you know, like watching a Hell's Angel ride a moped." (y/n) quips and Dean laughs. "This isn't funny, guys. The voice says I'm almost out of minutes." Castiel said. "Okay, all right. I'm—I'm telling you, Cas, the mooks have melted down the gun by now." Dean said.

"Well, Ariel and I hear differently. And if it's true and if you are still set on the insane task of killing the devil, this is how we do it." Castiel said. "Okay. Where do we start?" Dean asked him. "Where are you two now?" Castiel asked. "Kansas City." Dean replied as he leans across the bed to grab his room key off the bedside table. "Century Hotel, room 113." Dean said.

"I'll be there immediately." Castiel said and Dean sits up. "Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. No, no, come on, man. We just drove like sixteen hours straight, okay? (y/n) and I are humans. And there's stuff we got to do." Dean said.

"What stuff?" Castiel asked. "Eat, for example. In this case, sleep. We just need like four hours once in a while, okay?" Dean said. "Yes." Castiel said. "Okay, so, you can pop in tomorrow morning." Dean said. "Yes. I'll just—" Castiel said and Dean hangs up and sets his phone on the table by him.

"—wait here, then." Castiel said as he hears the dial tone then he shuts the phone and stands at the side of the road.

The couple were curled up to each other and were close to sleep when Dean's phone vibrates. "Seriously?" Dean grumbled, annoyed, while (y/n) sighed then leans over Dean to reach for his phone. "I'll tell him off." (Y/n) growled as she grabbed his phone.

"Well, look at you, taking control. Pretty hot, not gonna lie." Dean teased, flirtatiously, and smacks her ass. "You know, for someone that claimed they were tired, you sure are acting pretty frisky now." (y/n) said. "Always with you." He said, giving her a wink as she answers the phone. "Cas, I'm only gonna say this once, Dean and I need sleep!" she growls. "(Y/n), it's me." a familiar voice said, that wasn't Castiel nor was it Ariel's.

(y/n) sits up. "Sam? It's quarter past four." she said, confused, while Dean sits up as well at the mention of his brother's name. "This is important." Sam said. 

Later, (y/n) put Sam on speaker and Dean grabs a couple of beers out of the fridge and hands one to (y/n). "So, you're his vessel, huh? Lucifer's wearing you to the prom?" (y/n) asked. "That's what he said." Sam said. "Just when you thought you were out, they pull you back in, huh, Sammy?" Dean asked, sarcastically.

"So, that's it? That's your response?" Sam asked. "What are you looking for?" Dean asked. "I don't know. A—a little panic? Maybe?" Sam said. "I guess I'm a little numb to the earth-shattering revelations at this point. Cause we also found out, not long ago, that (y/n) is Ariel’s vessel." Dean said. "What?!" Sam exclaimed. "Yeah, but unlike you two, I'm not forced to say yes to her. She said I'm a last resort if Lucifer and Michael get both of you." (Y/n) said.

"What are we gonna do about it?" Sam asked. "What do you want to do about it?" Dean asked back. "I want back in, for starters." Sam said. "Sam—" Dean said but Sam talks over him. "I mean it. I am sick of being a puppet to these sons of bitches. I'm gonna hunt him down, guys." He said.

"Oh, so, we're back to revenge, then, are we? Yeah, 'cause that worked out so well last time." Dean said, sarcastically. "Not revenge. Redemption." Sam said and Dean takes his phone out of (y/n)'s hand.

"So, what, you're just gonna walk back in and we're gonna be the terriffic trio again?" Dean asked. "Look, Dean, I can do this. I can. I'm gonna prove it to you." Sam said. "Look, Sam—it doesn't matter—whatever we do. I mean, it turns out that you and me, we're the, uh, the fire and the oil of the Armageddon. You know, on that basis alone, we should just pick a hemisphere. Stay away from each other for good." Dean said and (y/n)'s eyes widen at this.

"Dean, it does not have to be like this. We can fight it." Sam said, sounding a bit upset. "Yeah, you're right. We can. But not together. We're not stronger when we're together, Sam. I think we're weaker. Because whatever we have between us—love, family, whatever it is—they are always gonna use it against us. And you know that. Yeah, we're better off apart. We got a better chance of dodging Lucifer and Michael and this whole damn thing, if we just go our own ways." Dean said.

"Dean, don't do this." Sam pleads. "Bye, Sam." Dean said and he hangs up. "You don't mean that." (Y/n) said as Dean turns away from her. "Yes, I do." He said and (y/n) stands up. “You know what? I’m tired of biting my tongue here, Dean.” (Y/n) said and Dean shakes his head at her. “(Y/n) I’m tired. Let’s just go to sleep and talk about this later.” He muttered.

“No! We’re having this talk now. I know you miss him.” (Y/n) said and Dean shakes his head again, as if such an idea was idiotically. “You do, Dean. It’s written all over your face!” She said. “Oh is it?” Dean asked, in a deadpan tone. “I miss him too and I’m sure he misses us.” (Y/n) said. “That’s sweet.” Dean said, sarcastically. (Y/n) let out a huff, becoming really irritated with his attitude. 

“And you’re being really stubborn about keeping him away.” She said, trying her best to remain calm. “I’m doing this for you and him.” Dean declared. “You know what you just said to him, how we're better when we're apart. It’s a bunch of crap.” (Y/n) growled. “It’s the truth!” Dean said, his voice rising. “Being apart is what started the apocalypse in the first place!” (Y/n) exclaimed. “What started the apocalypse, was him listening to Ruby over us!” Dean shouted.

“No, what started the apocalypse was you going to hell!” (Y/n) yelled, instantly regretting her words. Dean stares at her in shock then turns his back on her, so she can’t see his face.

(Y/n) slowly reaches towards him then looks down, ashamed for what she said. “I’m sorry. That went too far.” She said, apologetically, then raises her head to look at him. “But think about it, Dean. Every time crap hits the fan is when we’re apart.” She said.

“You know what I think?” Dean asked, keeping his back towards her. (Y/n) held her breath, a little in premonition. Dean turns to look at her with a hard glare. “It sounds like I should have never sold my soul for you.” He said in a bitter tone, his anger making him feel justified in his words.

(Y/n)'s eyes widen, so shock she’s almost frozen for a moment, unsure of how to react. “Maybe you shouldn’t have.” She mumbled, tears welling up in her eyes. Dean continues to glare at her, not seeming to realize his mistake.

(Y/n) turns, staggering for a moment, and hastily walks towards the door. “Where are you going?” Dean asked. “I’m getting my own room.” (Y/n) replied, sharply, opening the door and walking out. “(Y/n)!” Dean yelled after her but she slams the door behind her. Dean turns away, running his hands through his hair, irritably. “Damnit!” He exclaimed, kicking over a chair.

(Y/n) enters her room, that was located on the other side of the motel, as far away from Dean’s room as possible. She drops the room key on the table and nearly collapse when she reaches the bed.

Her hands were shaking and whole body was trembling as she was still reeling from what Dean said to her. She takes out her cellphone and keeps her hands steady just enough to dial Sam’s number.

She held the phone to her ear with one hand and held her other hand to her lips, trying to keep herself from breaking down. “Hello.” Sam said when he answers. “S-Sam.” (Y/n) stammered, tears escaping from her eyes so easily. “(Y/n)? What’s wrong?” Sam asked, in a concerned tone. “I-I…” (Y/n) tried to say, but she was unable to form the words and she starts to cry. “Hey, hey, hey. It’s alright, I’m right here.“ Sam said, softly.

“You're not.” (Y/n) said through her tears and Sam sighs. “I know. But I’m still here to talk to. And if I have to, I’ll drive all night to you so you can have a shoulder to cry on.” He said and (Y/n) smiles a little.

“Tell me what’s wrong.” Sam said and (Y/n) sniffs, roughly wiping her cheek. “I’ll try. It all started after Dean got off the phone with you…”

Meanwhile, Dean wakes up and finds himself lying on the springs of the hotel bed; the mattress gone. He gets up and looks around to see that the entire room is trashed. He looks out the window to see that so is the city. Dean leaves the hotel and takes a look around; the area is devastated, everything broken or graffitied on or both.

He hears something, like glass smashing. He goes to investigate. The first sign of life Dean sees is a girl in an alley with a teddy bear. He approaches her slowly. "Little girl? Little girl?" he called out but the girl doesn't respond. "Are you hurt?" he asked the girl but again the girl says nothing.

"You know the not-talking thing is kind of creepy, right?" Dean said but blood starts to drip from the girl's mouth. The girl shrieks and attacks Dean with a shard of glass. He flattens her and looks around, catching sight of a large piece of graffiti: it reads "CROATOAN". "Oh, crap." he mutters.

Several people, all most likely infected with the Croatoan virus the same as the girl, come around the corner and he runs. They chase him onto a street blocked by a chain-link fence until several soldiers on tanks arrive, shooting the infected people. 

As more infected people fall from the gunshots, Dean stays under cover and retreats to an alley and breaks through the fence. A sign on the fence reads:

CROATOAN

VIRUS

HOT ZONE

NO ENTRY

BY ORDER OF ACTING REGIONAL COMMAND

AUGUST 1, 2014

KANSAS CITY

"August first, 2014." Dean reads then he goes over to a nearby cat and hotwires it.

Night had fallen as Dean drives around. There is no cell service and only static on the radio. "That's never a good sign." Dean mutters to himself. "Croatoan pandemic reaches Australia." A voice said, startling Dean. He turns and sees Zachariah sitting in the shotgun seat, reading a newspaper.

"I thought I smelled your stink on this Back to the Future crap." Dean grumbles. "President Palin defends bombing of Houston." Zachariah reads then he chuckles. "Certainly a buyer's market in real estate. Let's see what's happening in sports. That's right—no more sports. Congress revoked the right to group assembly. What's left of Congress, that is. Hardly a quorum, if you ask me." He said.

"How did you find me?" Dean asked him. "Afraid we had to tap some unorthodox resources of late—human informants. We've been making inspirational visits to the fringier Christian groups. They've been given your image, told to keep an eye out." Zachariah said and Dean has a look of realization on his face. "The Bible freak outside the motel—he, what, dropped a dime on me?" Dean asked and Zachariah smiles. "Onward, Christian soldiers." he chuckles and Dean scoffs and shakes his head.

"And where's (y/n)?" Dean asked him. "We left her alone. Seemed that she was very upset." Zachariah said and Dean frowns and does everything to bite his tongue, but the feeling of guilt was settling in his chest. "It looked like there was...what is it you humans say...trouble in paradise?" Zachariah said, a bit of a smirk on his face, and Dean grips the steering wheel, tighter.

The angel takes notice of this and he decided to keep pushing. "What did you do to her by the way? Hm?" Zachariah asked and Dean grits his teeth. "She finally had enough of you? Were you unable to fornicate with her?" Zachariah asked and Dean turns his head. "Shut up!" Dean growled and the Angel laughs.

"When the time comes, I'll make sure I'm the one who kills you." Dean threatened. "Oh, really? You kill me? Now that would be something." Zachariah laughs and Dean glares at him. "Okay, you've had your jollies. Now send me back, you son of a bitch." Dean growls. "Oh, you'll get back—all in good time. We want you to marinate a bit." Zachariah said.

"Marinate?" Dean asked. "Three days, Dean. Three days to see where this course of action takes you." said Zachariah. "What's that supposed to mean?" asked Dean. "It means that your choices have consequences. This is what happens to the world if you continue to say no to Michael. Have a little look-see." Zachariah said then he vanishes.

The next morning, Dean opens the door to Bobby's house. "Bobby? Bobby, I'm coming in!" he calls out as he looks around. The place is pretty thoroughly trashed, and from the spiderwebs and dust, no one has been around in a while. "Oh, no." he whispers as he sees Bobby's wheelchair on its side. Dean sets it upright and sees the bullet holes through and dried blood on the back of the seat.

"Where is everybody, Bobby?" Dean said then he opens a hidden compartment and pulls out Bobby's journal. He finds a photo of Bobby with Castiel, threeunidentified men, and a sign. "Camp Chitaqua." He mutters.

Dean approaches the sign from the photo to see men with guns are just inside the fence, patrolling. Dean does his best to stay out of sight. He catches sight of the Impala, smashed up and rusted to hell.

"Oh, baby, no." He said, despairingly, as he approaches the Impala for a better look at the damage, peering inside the driver's side door. "Oh, no, baby, what did they do to you?" he asked when he hears something and has barely turned to look when he is knocked out by another Dean, identified by the military-issue green jacket he is wearing instead of Dean's blue shirt.

Dean wakes up and discovers he is handcuffed to a ladder. He looks across the room to see himself cleaning a gun. "What the hell?" Dean asked as his Future-Self glares at him. "I should be asking that question, don't you think? In fact, why don't you give me one good reason why I shouldn't gank you right here and now?" he asked. "Because you'd only be hurting yourself." Dean said. "Very funny." Future Dean  sneered.

"Look, man—I'm no shapeshifter or demon or anything, okay?" Dean said. "Yeah, I know. I did the drill while you were out. Silver, salt, holy water—nothing. But you know what was funny? Was that you had every hidden lockpick, box cutter, and switchblade that I carry. Now, you want to explain that? Oh, and the, uh, resemblance, while you're at it?" Dean asked. "Zachariah." Dean replied and Future Dean stands up.

"Come again?" he asked. "I'm you from the tail end of 2009. Zach plucked me from my bed and threw me five years into the future." Dean replied. "Where is he? I want to talk to him." Future Dean demanded. "I don't know." Dean said. "Oh, you don't know." Future Dean growls. "No, I don't know. Look, I just want to get back to my own friggin' year, okay?" Dean yells. "Okay. If you're me, then tell me something only I would know." Future Dean demanded.

Dean thinks, then smirks. "Rhonda Hurley. We were, uh, nineteen. She made us try on her panties. They were pink. And satiny. And you know what? We kind of liked it." Dean said and his future self kinda smirked. "Touché." he said then he sighs.

"So, what, Zach zapped you up here to see how bad it gets?" he asked. "I guess. Croatoan virus, right? That's their endgame?" Dean asked. "It's efficient, it's incurable, and it's scary as hell. Turns people into monsters. Started hitting the major cities about two years ago. World really went in the crapper after that." Future Dean replied 

"What about Sam and (y/n)?" Dean asked and his future self goes still. "Heavyweight showdown in Detroit. From what I understand, Sam didn't make it." Future Dean said. "You weren't with him?" Dean asked. "No. No, me and Sam, we haven't talked in—hell, five years." Future Dean replied.

"We never tried to find him?" Dean asked. "We had other people to worry about." Future Dean said. "And (y/n)?" Dean asked, a bit nervously, and his Future Self's eyes shifts a bit before responding. "She's...gone." he replied. "Gone? What do you mean gone?" Dean asked and Future Dean glares at him then starts to walk away.

"Where you going?" Dean asked him. "I got to run an errand." Future Dean said. "Whoa. You're just gonna leave me here?" Dean asked him. "Yes. I got a camp full of twitchy trauma survivors out there with an apocalypse hanging over their head. The last thing they need to see is a version of The Parent Trap. So, yeah, you stay locked down." Future Dean said as he stops and turns to him again. "Okay. All right. Fine. But you don't have to cuff me, man." Dean yells and his future self goes to walk away again.

"Oh, come on. You don't trust yourself?" Dean asked as his future self gets to the door, stops and turns. "No. Absolutely not." He replied then he leaves. "Dick." Dean grumbles then he pries a nail out of the floorboards and uses it to remove the handcuffs.

Minutes later, he glances around the camp when someone comes up behind him. "Hey, Dean. You got a second?" a voice asked and Dean turns around to see that it was Chuck. "No—yes. Uh, I—I guess. Hi, Chuck." Dean said, shaking his head. "Hi. So, uh, listen, we're pretty good on canned goods for now, but we're down to next to nothing on perishables and—and hygiene supplies. People are not gonna be happy about this. So, what do you think we should do?" Chuck asked him.

"I—I don't know. Maybe, uh, share? You know, like at a kibbutz." Dean replied, shrugging. "Wait a minute, aren't you supposed to be out on a mission right now?" Chuck asked, confused. "Absolutely. And I will be." Dean said and he hears some footsteps behind him.

He turns to see a woman walking up to him. "Hello, Dean." She greets. "Hey, uh..." Dean stops. "Risa." Chuck whispered to him. "Risa." Dean said. "So, I was wondering...did you ever give my proposal a thought?" She asked, a seductive smile on her lips. Dean slightly shakes his head in confusion. "What?" He asked and she let's out a small giggle.

"You know...about...you know...you and me..." she asked and Dean catches on. "Look, sweetheart, I appreciate it but...I'm a one woman man." Dean said and Risa let's out a harsh scoff. "Seriously? You're still holding onto that vegetable?!" She asked, angry and annoyed, and Dean gives her a confused look. "Come again?" He asked. "I mean, I can do so much more than her!" She yells. "I don't understand..." Dean started to say but Risa huffs out a breath. "Screw you." she growls and she walks past him.

"Oh, jeez. I'm getting bitched at for stuff I haven't even done yet." Dean exclaims. "What?" Chuck asked. "Uh, never mind. Hey, Chuck, is...Cas still here?" Dean asked him. "Yeah. I don't think Cas is going anywhere." Chuck said.

Chuck leads Dean to another cabin and he enters. Castiel is sitting in a circle with several women. "So, in this way. We're each a fragment of total perception—just, uh, one compartment in that dragonfly eye of group mind. Now, the key to this total, shared perception—it's, um, it's surprisingly physical." He said then he spots Dean. "Oh. Excuse me, ladies. I think I need to confer with our fearless leader for a minute. Why not go get washed up for the orgy?" Castiel said and this takes Dean aback as the women leave.

"You're all so beautiful." Castiel compliments the women and he stands and stretches his back, grunting. "What are you, a hippie?" Dean asked him. "I thought you'd gotten over trying to label me." Castiel grumbles.

"Cas, we got to talk." Dean said and Castiel looks at him. "Whoa. Strange." he said, surprised. "What?" Dean asked. "You...are not you. Not now you, anyway." said Castiel. "No! Yeah. Yes, exactly." Dean said.

"What year are you from?" Castiel asked him. "2009." Dean replied. "Who did this to you? Is it Zachariah?" Castiel asked. "Yes." Dean said. "Interesting." Castiel said, fascinated. "Oh, yeah, it's friggin' fascinating. Now. Why don't you strap on your angel wings and fly me back to my page on the calendar?" Dean asked. "I wish I could just, uh, strap on my wings, but I'm sorry, no dice." Castiel said.

"What, are you stoned?" Dean asked. "Uh, generally, yeah." Castiel replied. "What happened to you?" Dean asked and Castiel shrugs. "Life." he said and Dean sighs and runs his hands over his face.

"Okay, what about Ariel? Is she here? If she is can you take me to her..." Dean asked but he noticed the look of sadness on his face. "What?" Dean asked. "Ariel...that's a name I haven't heard in awhile...." Castiel said, downtrodden. "Why? What happened to her?" Dean asked, curiously.

Castiel look back at him, the sadness reflecting in his eyes. "She's dead." He said, softly, and Dean's eyes widen in shock. "Dead? How?" Dean asked. Castiel stares at him with this sad puppy dog eyes and was about to speak when they hear the sounds vehicles coming.

They walk out to see a car and a jeep had arrived and Future Dean and some soldiers climb out. Future Dean grabs two beers and tosses one to a soldiers. They both open the beers and drink but then Future Dean draws his gun and points it at that soldier.

"Hey. Hey! Watch out!" Dean shouts as he runs but Future Dean shoots the soldier. Dean runs up too late and the survivors looked between the two Deans. "Damn it." Future Dean grumbles then he addresses the soldiers. "I'm not gonna lie to you. Me and him—It's a pretty messed-up situation we got going. But believe me, when you need to know something, you will know it. Until then, we all have work to do." he said.

Later, Future Dean shoves Dean into the room and shuts the door behind them. "What the hell was that?" Future Dean asked him, angrily. "What the hell was that? You just shot a guy in cold blood." Dean yelled back, angrily. "We were in an open quarantine zone. Got ambushed by some Croats on the way out." Future Dean said and Dean's expression asks for an explanation.

"Croats. Croatoans. One of them infected Yeager." Future Dean clarifies. "How do you know?" Dean asked him. "'Cause after a few years of this, I know. I started seeing symptoms about a half an hour ago. Wasn't gonna be long before he flipped. I didn't see the point in troubling a good man with bad news." Future Dean said. "Troubling a good man? You just blew him away in front of your own people. Don't you think that freaked them out a little bit?" Dean asked.

"It's 2014. Plugging some Croat, it's called commonplace. Trading words with my friggin' clone—that might have freaked them out a little." Future Dean growls. "All right, look—" Dean started to say but Future Dean talks over him. "No, you look. This isn't your time. It's mine. You don't make the decisions. I do. So, when I say stay in, you stay in." Future Dean yelled, angrily.

"All right, man. I'm sorry. Look, I—I'm not trying to mess you—me—us up here." Dean said, apologetically, and his Future self sighs and calms down. "I know." he said and he pours two glasses of alcohol.

"It's just been a really wacky weekend." Dean said. "Tell me about it." Future Dean said as he hands the other glass to Dean and they drink.

"What was the mission, anyway?" Dean asked him and Future Dean pulls out a gun; it's the Colt. "The Colt?" Dean said, shocked. "The Colt." Future Dean said, firmly. "Where was it?" Dean asked him. "Everywhere. They've been moving it around. Took me five years, but...I finally got it. And tonight—tonight, I'm gonna kill the devil." Future Dean said.

"So, that's it? That's the Colt?" Risa asked after her and Castiel come in in the room with the two Deans'. "If anything can kill Lucifer, this is it." Future Dean said. "Great. Have we got anything that can find Lucifer?" Risa asked, a bit annoyed, and Future Dean turns to her.

"Are you okay?" He asked her. "Oh, she's mad about how you won't give her a chance cause you are hung up on some vegetable...?" Dean said, questionable, and his future self turns his head, sharply, to him. "You want to shut up?" He asked, angrily, and Dean raises his hands in surrender.

"And Risa, you know not to call her that and I'm not gonna give up on her. Is that clear?" Future Dean said, firmly, and Risa frowns then turns her head away. "Anyway...We don't have to find Lucifer. We know where he is. The demon that we caught last week, he was one of the big guy's entourage. He knew." Future Dean said.

"So, a demon tells you where Satan's gonna be, and you just believe it?" Risa asked him, disbelieving. "Oh, trust me, he wasn't lying." Future Dean said. "And you know this how?" Risa asked. "Our fearless leader, I'm afraid, is all too well schooled in the art of getting to the truth." Castiel said and Dean turns to his future self.

"Torture?" Dean asked and neither Castiel nor future Dean respond. "Oh, so, we're—we're torturing again." Dean grumbles and his Future self looks at him. "No, that's—that's good. Classy." Dean said, sarcastically, and Castiel laughs. Future Dean looks at him. "What? I like past you." Castiel said, defensively, and Future Dean rolls his eyes.

"Lucifer is here. Now. I know the block and I know the building." Future Dean said. "Oh, good—it's right in the middle of a hot zone." said Castiel. "Crawling with Croats, yeah. You saying my plan is reckless?" Future Dean asked him. "Are you saying we, uh, walk in straight up the driveway, past all the demons and the Croats, and we shoot the devil?" Castiel asked. "Yes." Future Dean said.

"Okay, if you don't like, uh, 'reckless', I could use 'insouciant', maybe." Castiel said. "Are you coming?" Future Dean asked him and Castiel sighs. "Of course. But why is he? I mean, he's you five years ago. If something happens to him, you're gone, right?" Castiel asked as he gestures to Dean.

"He's coming." Future Dean said, firmly. "Okay. Well, uh. I'll get the grunts moving." Castiel said. "We're loaded and on the road by midnight." Future Dean said. "All righty." Castiel said and he and Risa leave but Castiel turns to Future Dean. "You gonna see her before you leave?" He asked him.

Future Dean stares at him, looks over at Dean, as if he was thinking of something, then turns back to Castiel. "Yes." He replied and Castiel nods before he walks out.

"Why are you taking me?" Dean asked his future self. "Relax. You'll be fine. Zach's looking after you, right?" Future Dean asked. "No, that's not what I mean. I want to know what's going on. And who is her?" Dean asked him. "Yeah, okay. You're coming because I want you to see something. But first, there is someone I want you to see." Future Dean said.

Minutes later, Future Dean takes Dean into a small building, a bit away from the other buildings, and they enter it. Inside, unlike other buildings, there was only one bed in the middle of the room which had one occupant in it.

Dean furrows his brow at this as his future self starts to walk towards the bed. He slowly walks up to the figure and kneels down to the front of the figure. "Hey, (y/n)." Future Dean said in a soft, quiet voice. Dean was taken aback by this and he slowly walks around to the side.

His eyes widen and he jumped slightly at the sight before him. The (y/n) that was sitting on the bed looked guant and weak, nothing like the (y/n) Dean knew. She also looked like she wasn't there, mentally. She looked lost.

She raises her head, slowly, once she heard future Dean's voice. There was a twitch of a smile on her lips as she looks at future Dean.

"Hey, baby." Future Dean said to her, softly. She raises a hand and places it on his cheek. "I've come by to let you know that I'm heading out again. I'm gonna take out and kill those sons of bitches that did this to you." Future Dean said to her. Then he leaves a long, lingering kiss on her forehead.

The short amount of time Dean had spent with his future self, this was the first time he had seen him look and sound vulnerable. "You should rest, sweetheart." Future Dean said to (y/n) and he starts to stand up but she grabs his arm.

"Don't...go..." (y/n) said, weakly. It honestly freaked Dean out on how (y/n) spoke. She not only looked awful but she sounded just as bad if not worse. She looked and sounded like she aged 70-80 years.

"Honey, I have to. I found the Colt." Future Dean said as he places a hand over hers. "Colt?" (Y/n) asked and Future Dean nods. "Yes, and I'm gonna kill him with it." He assures her and she continues to look at him. "I need to go, sweetheart." Future Dean said but she doesn't remove her hand off of his arm.

"Don't...go...Don't...go..." (y/n) repeated until she started to become hysterical and was hitting Future Dean's chest with a weak fist and he tries to calm her down but that just upsets her more and she begins to scream and cry.

Dean was horrified at this as Future Dean digs into his pocket with his free hand and pulls out a needle. "No!" Dean shouts but Future Dean sticks the needle into her neck. She stops, calms down then starts to slump forward. Future Dean catches her in his arms and she passes out then he starts to carry her back to her bed.

"What the hell did you do to her?!" Dean asked his future self as he set (y/n) back down on the bed. "Had to sedate her." Future Dean replied, plainly, then he stands up and looks back at Dean. "What happened to her? You said she was gone!" Dean yelled as he walks over towards his future self.

"Yeah, mentally. Physically, no. You see she was my partner when the Croats started to rise. We became leaders to the people. But a few months back, she was captured by some demons. We couldn't find her for months until just about a month ago when me and few men raided an old house and found some demons inside. We took care of the ones that didn't run off then we searched the house until we found her. I don't know what kind of torture method they used on her but we found her like this." Future Dean explained as he gestures towards the passed out (y/n).

"Why didn't you kill her? You killed a man earlier, no hesitation, but her you've kept locked away?!" Dean asked, confused. "Because I couldn't bring myself to do it, okay!!" Future Dean yells and Dean leans back a bit. "So you wanted me to see her?" Dean asked. "Yes, and I also want you to see our brother." Future Dean said and Dean furrows his brow.

"Sam? I thought he was dead." He said. "Sam didn't die in Detroit. He said 'yes'." Future Dean said. "Yes?" Dean asked and there was a long silence between them until Dean realized what he meant.

"Wait. You mean—"

"That's right. The big 'yes'. To the devil. Lucifer's wearing him to the prom." Future Dean said. "Why would he do that?" Dean asked. "Wish I knew. But now we don't have a choice. It's in him, and it's not getting out. And we've got to kill him, Dean. And you need to see it—the whole damn thing, how bad it gets—so you can do it different." Future Dean explained.

"What do you mean?" Dean asked. "Zach said he was gonna bring you back, right? To oh-nine?" Future Dean asked. "Yeah." Dean said. "Well, when you get back home—you say 'yes'. You hear me? Say 'yes' to Michael." Future Dean said. "That's crazy. If I let him in, then Michael fights the devil. The battle's gonna torch half the planet. That is if Ariel doesn't stop it." said Dean.

"Look around you, man. Half the planet's better than no planet, which is what we have now. If I could do it over again, I'd say 'yes' in a heartbeat." Future Dean said. "So why don't you?" Dean asked. "I've tried! I've shouted 'yes' till I was blue in the face! The angels aren't listening! They just—left—gave up! It's too late for me, but for you—" Future Dean said and Dean shakes his head.

"Oh, no. There's got to be another way." He said. "Yeah, that's what I thought. I was cocky. Never actually thought I'd lose. But I was wrong. Dean. I was wrong. I'm begging you. Say yes." Future Dean said then there was another long pause. "But you won't. 'Cause I didn't. Because that's just not us, is it?" Future Dean asked.

"So, you're really from oh-nine?" Chuck asked Dean as they head to the vehicles that night. "Yeah, afraid so." Dean said. "Some free advice? You ever get back there, you hoard toilet paper. You understand me? Hoard it. Hoard it like it's made of gold. 'Cause it is." Chuck said and Dean turns his head to him. "Thank you, Chuck." he said.

"Oh, you'll thank me, all right. Mark my words." Chuck said. "I'll see you around." Dean tells him as he pats his shoulder. "Yeah. Okay." Chuck said as Dean gets in one of the vehicles and they drive off.

Dean is riding shotgun in Castiel's car and sees Castiel taking some pills. "Let me see those." Dean said, holding his hand out. "You want some?" Castiel asked as he hands the bottle to him and Dean reads the label. "Amphetamines?" he asked. "It's the perfect antidote to that absinthe." Castiel said.

"Mmm. Don't get me wrong, Cas. I, uh. I'm happy that the stick is out of your ass, but—what's going on—w-with the drugs and the orgies and the love-guru crap?" Dean asked him and Castiel laughs. "What's so funny?" Dean asked, confused.

"Dean, I'm not an angel anymore." Castiel informed, shocking Dean. "What?" he asked. "Yeah, I went mortal." Castiel said. "What do you mean? How?" Dean asked. "I think it had something to do with the other angels leaving. But when they bailed, my mojo just kind of— psshhew!—drained away. And now, you know, I'm practically human. I mean, Dean, I'm all but useless. Last year, broke my foot, laid up for two months." Castiel said. "Wow." Dean mutters. "Yeah." Castiel replied.

"So, you're human. Well, welcome to the club." Dean said. "Thanks. Except I used to belong to a much better club. And now I'm powerless. I'm hapless, I'm hopeless. I mean, why the hell not bury myself in women and decadence, right? It's the end, baby. That's what decadence is for. Why not bang a few gongs before the lights go out? But then that's, that's just how I roll." Castiel said, shrugging.

"How did Ariel die?" Dean asked him and Castiel sighs. "She, stupidly, went after Lucifer after Sam said yes to him. She thought she'd be strong enough to stop him but..." Castiel stops, bites his lips then swallows. "I'm sorry." Dean said and Castiel nods a bit.

Later, Dean, Future Dean, Castiel, Risa and a few other soldiers walk towards the sanitarium, carrying guns and scanning the area. "There. Second-floor window. We go in there." Future Dean said as they got closer to the building. "You sure about this?" Risa asked him. "They'll never see us coming. Trust me. Now, weapons check. We're on the move in five." Future Dean said.

"Hey, uh, me. Can I talk to you for a sec?" Dean said and he and his Future-Self go off to the side. "Tell me what's going on." Dean said. "What?" Future Dean asked, playing dumb. "I know you. You're lying to these people and to me." Dean said. "Is that so." Future Dean said.

"Yeah. See, I know your lying expressions. I've seen them in the mirror. Now, there's something you're not telling us." Dean growls. "I don't know what you're talking about." Future Dean said, continuing to playing dumb. "Oh, really? Well, I don't seem to be the only member of your posse with some questions, so, uh, maybe I'll just take my doubts over to them." Dean said and he starts to walk away but Future Dean stops him. "Okay, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait." He said and Dean turns to him.

"What?" Dean asked. "Take a look around you, man. This place should be white-hot with Croats. Where are they?" Future Dean asked him and Dean looks around. "They cleared a path for us. Which means that this is—" Dean said and his future self nods. "A trap. Exactly." he said.

"Well, then we can't go through the front." Dean said. "Oh, we're not. They are. They're the decoys. You and me, we're going in through the back." Future Dean said. "You mean you're gonna feed your friends into a meat grinder? Cas, too? You want to use their deaths as a diversion?" Dean asked and his Future-Self looks away.

"Oh, man, something is broken in you. You're making decisions that I would never make. I wouldn't sacrifice my friends." Dean said. "You're right. You wouldn't. It's one of the main reasons we're in this mess, actually." Future Dean said. "These people count on you. They trust you." Dean said, desperately. "They trust me to kill the devil and to save the world and that's exactly what I'm gonna do." Future Dean growls. "No. Not like this, you're not. I'm not gonna let you." Dean said, firmly.

"Oh, really?" Future Dean asked. "Yeah." Dean said before his Future-Self slugs him in the face, knocking him out.

Dean wakes up on the ground and hears gunfire in the building and runs toward it. Thunder crashes, lightning flashes, and Dean sees his Future-Self on the ground, neck held down by a person wearing a white suit. Future Dean opens his eyes and sees Dean until the person shifts his weight, breaking Future Dean's neck. The person, Dean sees, is Sam but not; it's Lucifer. He turns around and sees Dean.

"Oh. Hello, Dean." Lucifer greets as Dean stares at him. "Aren't you a surprise." Lucifer said then in a flash of lightning and a roar of thunder, he is now behind Dean. "You've come a long way to see this, haven't you?" Lucifer asked him.

"Well, go ahead. Kill me." Dean said as he turns to face him. "Kill you?" Lucifer asked, confused, then looks at the corpse of Future Dean. "Don't you think that would be a little...redundant?" Lucifer asked before he sighs. "I'm sorry. It must be painful, speaking to me in this—shape. But it had to be your brother. It had to be." he said and he reaches for Dean's shoulder but Dean moves back.

"You don't have to be afraid of me, Dean. What do you think I'm going to do?" Lucifer asked. "I don't know. Maybe deep-fry the planet?" Dean said and Lucifer walks off to the side and examines a rose, but turns away. "Why? Why would I want to destroy this stunning thing? Beautiful in a trillion different ways. The last perfect handiwork of God." he said but Dean doesn't answer.

"You ever hear the story of how I fell from grace?" Lucifer asked Dean as he turns to him. "Oh, good God, you're not gonna tell me a bedtime story, are you? My stomach's almost out of bile." Dean said, with sarcasm. "You know why God cast me down? Because I loved him. More than anything. And then God created..." Lucifer said then he smirks. "You. The little...hairless apes. And then he asked all of us to bow down before you—to love you, more than him. And I said, Father, I can't. I said, These human beings are flawed, murderous. And for that, God had Michael cast me into hell. Now, tell me, does the punishment fit the crime? Especially, when I was right? Look at what six billion of you have done to this thing, and how many of you blame me for it."

"You're not fooling me, you know that? With this sympathy-for-the-devil crap. I know what you are." Dean growls. "What am I?" Lucifer asked, curiously. "You're the same thing, only bigger. The same brand of cockroach I've been squashing my whole life. An ugly, evil, belly-to-the-ground, supernatural piece of crap. The only difference between them and you is the size of your ego." Dean spat and Lucifer smiles. 

"I like you, Dean. I get what the other angels see in you. Goodbye. We'll meet again soon." He said and he turns to walk away. "You better kill me now!" Dean yells and Lucifer turns back.

"Pardon?" he asked. "You better kill me now. Or I swear, I will find a way to kill you. And I won't stop." Dean said, sternly. "I know you won't. I know you won't say yes to Michael, either. And I know you won't kill Sam. Whatever you do, you will always end up here. Whatever choices you make, whatever details you alter, we will always end up—here. I win. So, I win." Lucifer informs.

"You're wrong." Dean growls and Lucifer looks him over. "See you in five years, Dean." he said and he is gone once the thunder roars and the lightening strikes. Dean turns around and sees Zachariah behind him, reaching for his forehead with two fingers.

Dean leans against the kitchenette sink while Zachariah stands in front of him. "Oh, well, if it isn't the ghost of Christmas screw you." Dean growls. "Enough. Dean, enough. You saw it, right? You saw what happens. You're the only person who can prove the devil wrong. Just say yes." Zachariah said. "How do I know that this whole thing isn't one of your tricks? Huh? Some angel hocus-pocus?" Dean asked, suspiciously. 

"The time for tricks is over. Give yourself to Michael. Say yes and we can strike. Before Lucifer gets to Sam. Before billions die." Zachariah said and Dean considers this for a long moment, turning away from Zachariah. "Nah." Dean said and Zachariah's face turns to slight anger.

"Nah? You telling me you haven't learned your lesson?" He asked and Dean turns to him. "Oh, I've learned a lesson, all right. Just not the one you wanted to teach." he said. "Well, I'll just have to teach it again! Because I got you now, boy, and I'm never letting you—" Zachariah said but then Dean is gone. "Son of a..." Zachariah growls, annoyed and angry.

Dean turns around and sees Castiel behind and they were on the side of the road. "That's pretty nice timing, Cas." Dean said. "We had an appointment." Castiel said and Dean puts a hand on Castiel's shoulder. "Don't ever change." he said then he freezes. "What about (y/n)? She's still back there..." he said, slightly panicked. 

But then they hear a noise and he turns around to see Ariel with (y/n). Seeing this, made Dean feel relief. "Oh, thank God." He said and he runs over to (y/n). "You're okay!" He said and he embraces (y/n), who was surprised by this. "Dean? What the...?" (Y/n) started to ask but Dean looks down into her eyes then leans in and gives her a kiss.

"(Y/n), I am so sorry for what I said. You're right. I was being stubborn." Dean said once he breaks the kiss to look at her. "Wh-What changed your mind?" She asked him and Dean stops as he stares at her, that image of her from 2014 flashed in his mind.

"I don't want to get into that right now." He said and (y/n) looks into his eyes then nods, slightly. "But...I want you to know that I love you, more than anything. And I'll be damned if I'm gonna let myself be so stubborn to the point I'll end up losing you." He said and she gives a small smile. "I love you, too. And I'm also sorry for things I've said." She said and she leans up and kisses him then they embrace each other.

"How did Zachariah find you?" Ariel asked and Dean looks up at her. "Long story. Let's just stay away from Jehovah's Witnesses from now on, okay?" he said and Ariel nods as Dean and (y/n) break the hug then he pulls out his phone.

"What are you doing?" Castiel asked as he walks up to them. "Something I should have done in the first place." Dean replied as he dials a number.

The next morning, Dean and (y/n) wait by the Impala, by a bridge, as another car pulls up. Sam gets out and the trio approach each other. "Sam." Dean said as (y/n) smiled at Sam. Dean pulls out Ruby's knife and Sam looks at it, nervously. Dean holds it out to Sam handle first. "If you're serious and you want back in...you should hang on to this. I'm sure you're rusty." Dean said and Sam takes the knife, he can't meet Dean's or (y/n)'s eyes.

"Look, man, I'm sorry. I don't know. I'm...whatever I need to be. But I was, uh—wrong." Dean said. "What made you change your mind?" Sam asked him. "Long story. The point is...maybe we are each other's Achilles heel. Maybe they'll find a way to use us against each other, I don't know. I just know we're all we've got. More than that. We keep each other human." Dean said as he gestures between the three of them.

"Thank you. Really. Thank you. I won't let you down." Sam said. "Oh, I know it. I mean, you are the third-best hunter on the planet." Dean said as he looks over at (y/n), who smirks, and Sam nods.

"So, what do we do now?" Sam asked him. "We make our own future." Dean said and (y/n) gives a soft chuckle. "Guess we have no choice." she said and Sam smiles a little. Then (y/n) goes over to Sam and hugs him, he hugs her back.

The trio back together once more.

@rach5ive @kitsun369 @itzabbyxx @cevans-winchester @ellie-andthemachine

[im-a-moldy-bread]

Base off this post:

Idk where to go from here, so I will continue when idea's strikes. Or they upload a part two snd I can be free from my mind.

=================================

"We are married, by the way."

Huh? What is this man talking about.

I woke up with a pounding headache, and my body tied to a chair. As far as I can recollect, my nemesis, scaramouche had foiled my long term project in the akademiya again. Furious, I stormed my way to find him, and somehow get wrap up in an intense duel. I must have lost my consciousness during then.

When I opened my eyes again, I was in a dimly lit storage room. The rope was very tight and any big movement would cause it to suffocate my skin. Realising it a futile attempt, I quickly look around my surrounding when the wooden door creak open.

It was scaramouche. Internal panicking, my mind jump to amnesia. Yea he will completely believe me if I told him I forget everything..

"Well you're finally awake. I did not think you would lower your guard so simply."

I stared at hin with confusion, or at least I hope that how it would appear to be. "Hey mister, where am I? I felt like I just woke up from centuries of sleep. I can't remember who am I, or what's my name."

He stared at me, albeit a bit taken aback. Since like I have quite the talent in acting. "What games are you playing? You think that would help you escape?"

"Escape? Mister, are you the one who tied me up? Are you someone I know? Uhh whoever you are, I'm very sorry if I done something to warrant your actions. Can you explain the situation a bit?"

His questioning gaze was gone, after all i almost never apologise, not to him anyway. "Stop calling me that, just call me scara the way you always insist to."

He paused for a moment before continuing. "We are married, by the way." He get down on his knees to untie the rope.

Wait. WHAT.

This wasn't part of the script. What do you mean we are married??? Plus who even ties up their lover onto a chair??? Could this be another scheme of his??? Wait what will he even gain by claiming I was married to him???

My brain was still processing this development when he finish untying me. "Are you okay dear?" He stared at me nonchalantly. He called me that as if he been calling me that for the last century. What happen to "insignificant insect" and "unsightly worm"???

My lips were sealed for a second as I think carefully about how to reply him. "Mis- I mean Scara, you are saying you are my husband? Then can you explain why am I here, all tied up?" Let's see how you get out of this.

He nods. "One of my enemies blackmail me with your life. No worries, I have already took care of them." He helps me get up like the caring husband he claimed to be.

"I..I see, that explain why I have some burns on my arm..."

"They must've hurt a lot." He gently go over the burns. "I am going to make sure whoever did this will wish they were never born."

It was you. It was your electric shocks. I never realise you can spew so many lies so naturally. Seems like he will also be a formidable enemy if I ever pursue an acting career. Nonetheless, I still have to held back until I escape from this rundown storage.

"Scara, uhmmm if you truly are my husband, can I ask for some food?" Gosh why does that word roll off the tongue.

It was very brief, but a blush definitely painted his porcelain cheeks. "Ah come on let's get some Fatteh at the market place."