#i'm not saying this is an obvious crossover choice

[destinationtoast]

(1) I would read the hell out of either Ted or Beard as detective with the other as sidekick, but if Ted were Sherlock, I assume it would be a Without A Clue fusion. XD

(2) Honestly, I'm now considering a team of Rebecca and Keeley solving mysteries together, sometimes teaming up with Sassy, Nora, Barbara, and/or Jade -- first client is Bex! -- and I want THAT. But I am not convinced that either Rebecca or Keeley would always take the lead. If forced to choose, it's easier to see Rebecca as lead, but I love to think they'd take turns depending on the nature of the case. KRPI - Keeley & Rebecca, Private Investigators?

(3) Roy would solve the mysteries silently, and nobody would ever learn the solutions. (Although Jamie and Keeley are capable of interpreting his growls, and perhaps they occasionally share info with others.)

(4) If you chose Jamie as the most hilarious option, please get out of my head. And maybe go read my latest chapter, in which Jamie tries to be a detective.

(5) Or should it perhaps be Jade with Nate as her Watson? She could absolutely intimidate people with her scathing observations. Though Nate would be a Watson of the more bumbling and hilarious variety (smarter than a Nigel Bruce Watson, of course, but with stellar physical and verbal comedy, and not terribly useful in a fight).

(6) Higgins would totally have Will as his Watson, bringing him along to mysterious destinations; playing stringed instruments at all hours; possibly interfering with his attempted sexual adventures. OTOH, Will would be a phenomenal detective for anything that transpired in the boot room, ever.

(7) I'm assuming Trent will sweep because he's a reporter, sneaky Colin tracker, etc. Almost left him off just for the fun of forcing people to pick from the harder choices, but couldn't bear to exclude him. Would totally read him and Ted solving crimes. (Who am I kidding, I would read any of these in a heartbeat.)

(8) Personal faves that I ran out of room for: Jan Maas, the himbo with the manners to match modern Holmes adaptations; Phoebe, who brooks no bullshit and should absolutely solve mysteries with Roy providing backup. I could always do follow-up polls if there are enough write-ins. :)

Final note: I am not planning to write any of these; AUs are generally not my writing wheelhouse. If you want to run with any of them, please do! And if this makes you crave detective AUs more broadly, there are currently a very small but non-zero number of them, even if none are Sherlockian. :)

[sevensoulmates]

Buddie Meta 7x03 + 7x04 (Part 1 of 4)

Mostly 7x04 but I'm gonna include a bit about 7x03. So fair warning for a lot of talk about Buck/Tommy, but as always this will always be a Buddie canon/endgame positive space. Ain't no one jumping ship here. Once again, I apologize for my shitty screenshots and also warning: my meta does include some speculation and all of my meta are long AF, so this might be one you want to read in bits or when you have time to read something long.

Starting with 7x03. A lot of people speculated that the direction and blocking of this scene is likely foreshadowing, and I'm inclined to agree. First, we start with Buck and Eddie standing next to each other as they're known to do, and when Tommy joins them, he stands right in between them, foreshadowing that he'll be in the center of this speculated love triangle. Eddie is the first one to step away from the trio, leaving Buck alone with Tommy (foreshadowing how Buck and Tommy will have a romantic relationship).

Buck then has a solo moment with Tommy, which is already an interesting choice all on its own. It's a fact that Buck just met Tommy for the first time during this whole ordeal. It would make more sense for Chim or Hen, or hell even Bobby, to be the one to come talk to Tommy to say thanks. But the script called for Buck. This was done for a specific purpose, and now we know it's because they planned to put Buck and Tommy together romantically in the next episode.

Buck places his hand on Tommy's shoulders to say thanks. Up until this point, Buck and Eddie's primary way of sharing their feelings with each other has included shoulder touches. To me, this shows that Buck views these strong meaningful shoulder touches as a way to express strong feelings, something he's learned from Eddie (given that in all of the show, Eddie is always the one touching Buck's shoulder like this). This could also be interpreted as Buck unconsciously viewing Eddie's shoulder touches as romantic, so much so that Tommy picks up on it through Buck.

With that being said, with the context of 7x04, we also know that Tommy reads this shoulder touch as a sign that Buck might possibly be queer and/or possibly interested in him romantically. Interesting how this is the second time Buck's done something he views as "normal straight behavior" and queer men have interpreted it as him hitting on them (TK and now Tommy). And yet all of these things are actions Buck regularly does with Eddie and vice versa. So in-universe these actions have queer undertones according to the writers. Why wouldn't this then also apply to Buck and Eddie's relationship? At the moment, it's because Buck and Eddie themselves don't realize the extra meaning. But I predict they will eventually (maybe even sooner than we think).

Buck gives his unconscious "signs" by touching Tommy, and Tommy responds back by smiling flirtily and reaching back to touch Buck, almost to try and catch his hand, symbolizing Tommy responding to Buck's queer signs, and foreshadowing how he will be the one to take things a step further in the next episode.

Lastly, Buck walks away from Tommy towards where Eddie went earlier. This symbolizes how the Buck/Tommy relationship might have some missed connections (ie their hands never touching) and likely some miscommunication. And at the end of the day, Buck's attention will always be on Eddie. His path will always be to follow wherever Eddie goes. This is even more evident by the next episode which might be my new fave episode of 911.

Moving onto 7x04. The bachelor crossover call marks our first big season 2 callback. A bunch of beautiful women hit on Buck and Eddie at the same time. The last time this happened was in 2x04 Stuck when the 118 responded to the drunk girl with her head in the tailpipe. Women hit on them and Eddie says "I don't think I'm what you're looking for. I have a son" and Buck says "Thanks but no thanks I have a (invisible) gf". These are two very obvious and unnecessary excuses not to get with beautiful women that both the writers and the characters call out. And as we all know, this leads to the iconic "they weren't my type" "not mine either, not anymore" scene, and the rest of that episode is the catalyst for Buck and Eddie becoming as close as they are. The whole "they weren't my type" convo was a pretty obvious queer-coded scene. And this call-back in 7x04 isn't any different.

Eddie now has the (convenient) excuse that he's "taken at the moment" (note: he doesn't say "I have a girlfriend", another point for gender-neutral terminology in this episode). It's literally the exact same excuse as last time except this time Eddie has Marisol but she isn't even important enough to have a 2 second scene in this episode where he's all over another man, so. Make of that what you will. Additionally, Eddie adds a time limit to his relationship with Marisol by saying "at the moment", which means that subconsciously Eddie is aware that his relationship with Marisol will be temporary (however long that might be). He could've just said "Sorry, I'm taken, but he's not" if he really viewed his relationship properly as a long-term, possible forever relationship, but the "at the moment" is a purposeful line to let everyone know that Marisol is just a passing ship in the night. So for those who are still unsure about Eddie/Marisol rest assured everyone on every level knows it's gonna end eventually. Maybe even sooner than we think.

As a proper hetero wingman should, Eddie directs attention to Buck, who's surprised and actually makes up an excuse not to get with any of them because he "has a rule he doesn't date people (GENDER NEUTRAL) he meets on calls". This is a direct callback to Eddie during the cemetery scene in 6x15 when he says dating people on calls never works out, which ended up being a fulfilled prophecy given that Buck/Natalia break up in the interim between 6x18 and 7x01. This also comes up yet again later in the episode which I'll talk about later.

This provokes a weird reaction from Eddie, who doesn't understand why (single) Buck would turn down a bunch of willing single women. Additionally, I want to provide some context that the lovely @911bts mentioned which is that it seems like the network asked 911 to swap the bachelor call from 7x05 to 7x04. ((This is why we were getting info/stills about Hen/Henren but not really much of them in the ep. Their stuff was swapped with the Athena/Harry stuff). So there's additional context to this scene in that it was originally supposed to be Buck HIDING something (Tommy and their date) from Eddie and Eddie picking up on the weirdness of it. This then begs the question of why Buck would've wanted to hide this info from Eddie in the first place.

BUT it's now final that this scene is in 7x04, which loses some of the juicier context, but it's still showing that Eddie finds Buck's actions weird in that Buck appears to be losing interest in dating women at the moment, which is foreshadowing his lightbulb bisexual moment at the end of the episode.

This is tiny, but I find it interesting how Tommy follows very closely behind Buck's space, leaning his chin into Buck's shoulder as they walk, KNOCKING HIS ARM INTO BUCK'S FROM BEHIND (I don't need to explain that this is a Buddie thing), keeping near constant eye contact, and very obviously looking up and down Buck's body several times. Idk, I just appreciate the subtle queer hints even before the queerness is unmistakable at the end.

Tommy pointedly says "You didn't call me just to see the toys". From Tommy's perspective, he's unsure if Buck is queer/into him yet, but Buck reaching out to hang out might be the first indicator that he is. Or the hetero explanation is that Buck might be thinking of learning how to be a pilot. I really don't think we have anything to worry about with either Buck (or Eddie) leaving the 118 to be in air support, but it's an interesting metaphor. Safe and familiar vs. brand new and exciting and maybe a lil scary. The entire conversation is a thinly veiled metaphor for sexual fluidity which is later then proved by the ending. Also I want to point out that most of this convo pre-Eddie appearance has Buck appearing to have more of an awe/hero worship for Tommy, with the attraction being underlying, but that "so cool!" feeling still being the primary emotion we're supposed to pick up on.

I think these first real interactions between Buck and Tommy are a good indicator of where the rest of their relationship is gonna head. Buck asks a personal question about Tommy, and every bit of information he learns "I used to be a pilot in the army", Buck then relates immediately back to Eddie: "No way, Eddie used to be in the army!" Even when he's here, one-on-one with Tommy, with no Eddie present, before all of the jealousy starts, Eddie is always on Buck's mind. Tommy, at this moment, is still an afterthought. We'll see how long it takes Tommy to realize there's a reason Buck never stops yapping about Eddie (or maybe he's already picked up on it).

Buck then brings up his gender-neutral ex immediately (gender-neutral tally: 3), which leads me to believe that Tommy assumes Buck's train of thought brought him from Eddie to "an ex he rescued from a helicopter", which immediately links Eddie to potential Buck ex's, or men in general to Buck's exes. Tommy's eyes very pointedly flicker up to Buck's when he brings up an ex, which tells me that Tommy was very interested in knowing Buck's sexuality and relationship status from the very beginning.

Tommy then mimics the words from Eddie in the graveyard about not dating people they meet on calls.

(Gender-neutral tally: 5)

((Running tab on Tommy's similarities to Eddie: badass, competent, helicopters, army, and Eddie-coined phrases))

The rest of this conversation is a lot of flirting "ie. I can give you lessons" being a thinly veiled allusion to Tommy teaching Buck the ways of men loving men. And Buck is the one to offer Tommy a beer, which probably doesn't dispute the idea of Buck being queer in Tommy's head but...

Tommy's got a date with everyone's main man, Eddie.

Turns out Tommy and Eddie already made a friendly (offscreen) connection, enough for Tommy to invite Eddie out to an expensive and impressive date wrestling match.

I really want to talk about what this says about how Tommy (a queer man) views Eddie, but unfortunately, most of it would be speculation at this point.

First I want to talk about how one of the first things Tommy says in Buck's presence once Eddie shows up is calling Eddie "his man". This firmly places Eddie in Tommy's possessive. To be jealous is to desire something someone else has, or to be sensitive of someone else taking something that you view as yours. Which means two things: 1.) Buck wants what (he perceives) Tommy has: Eddie, and 2.) Buck believes on some level that Eddie is his and Tommy is trying to take away something that belongs to him. (Let's take away the fact that obviously Eddie is his own person and no one can actually possess him) in both scenarios the object of Buck's desire is Eddie. Not Tommy.

"My man" is also a vague term that can be used in both a friendly AND romantic sense. Which is the general theme we see with Tommy and Eddie's relationship, the vagueness of whether their budding new relationship is friendly or borderline romantic. Which is funny because this limbo between platonic and romantic is the same limbo Buck and Eddie have been existing in for six years. I think this is what Buck subconsciously picks up on, and it's the very fact that this COULD be romantic that triggers Buck.

As soon as Eddie shows up, Buck's entire demeanor shifts from excited, awed, and curious about Tommy, to confused, bothered, and even a bit uncomfortable. Keep in mind at this point, Buck doesn't know why Eddie is here, and yet he's upset at the prospect, even though he was just gushing about Eddie being super cool in the army.

Tommy's attention is now fully on Eddie. But Eddie is actually just as excited about Buck coming with them to the fight as he is by the idea of them going at all (his tone does not change). And yet this doesn't assuage Buck.

Second, Tommy says "I wish" almost as if he wished that he knew Buck had an interest in him before, so that either Buck could've joined them OR Buck could've taken Eddie's place. That doesn't inherently mean Tommy asked Eddie to go on a date (queer men can be platonic friends too!) but it's the fact that the line is unclear to BUCK that matters.

He also calls Buck "Evan" very casually, which is interesting to me. There are several plausible reasons why Tommy might call Buck "Evan", but I want to think of it from Eddie's perspective. "Evan" is a valued, special occasion, intimate moniker between Eddie and Buck, and Tommy's just using it willy-nilly. Eddie doesn't outwardly react to it, but he does show his own first piece of possessiveness over Buck in the next line.

God, I love Eddie's cunty lil raised eyebrows. Eddie jumps to the conclusion that Buck might be thinking of leaving the 118 and he immediately shuts that down, staking his own possessive claim on Buck in a plausibly deniable way (that Eddie is known to do, see: "do you know how much Christopher misses you?", "Christopher needs you", and "you're stuck with us (the 118)" all of which is Eddie saying he needs/wants/misses Buck without outwardly saying it, etc.) that is within their unspoken boundaries at the moment.

Buck then talks about his "options" and since we already know that Buck doesn't really want to leave the 118, the true subtext of this line is romantic options. Fluid is also not a word generally used with this phrase. It's typically "options open". The word "fluid" is more used when referring to the gender/sexuality spectrum, which is once again foreshadowing Buck's lightbulb bi moment in the end. "Options" also implies Buck has more than one romantic prospect, and since we know Buck's not really thinking about women right now, that points to men. If Tommy is a romantic prospect in this episode, that also implies that Eddie is a romantic prospect, or at least could be at some point in the future.

Buck appears to be stuck on how easily Eddie gets along with Tommy, apparently right from the beginning. Easily touching him, Eddie smiling super wide, excited as hell for something that Buck obviously doesn't know about. I can imagine that would grate on Buck's nerves because he and Eddie are supposed to be best friends who tell each other everything right? So why did Eddie hide the beginnings of this new friendship from Buck? Unfortunately, we don't know the timeline of when Tommy got these tickets to when he asked Eddie to go with him, but either way, Eddie didn't find it necessary to tell Buck. But WHY?

I would like to point out the last time Eddie seemingly "accidentally" forgot to mention something that should otherwise be easy for "just friends" to talk about: the will. Obviously, the will has larger implications than just going to a wrestling match, but it shows a pattern of "friend" things that Eddie doesn't tell Buck about. A lot of us have discussed how a large part of what puts the will scene in a romantic light instead of just something written off as purely platonic is the fact that Eddie did not tell Buck about it for a YEAR. Good friends would and SHOULD be able to talk to each other about something that life-changing, and yet Eddie can't bring himself to, risking the potential of accidentally dying at any point and leaving Buck and Chris blind-sided. Eddie must've had a reason to hide the will from Buck for so long. We know it's not because Eddie was afraid Buck would say no. He knew he wouldn't. So then, why? Most of us believe it's because Eddie's choice to put Buck in the will actually had a deeper emotional implication on Eddie's end that maybe he can't properly communicate to Buck, or even to himself. What could that implication be? In my opinion, Eddie was able to make this decision so easily because he's (unknowingly) in love with Buck, and he doesn't tell Buck because he's (subconsciously) aware that doing so reveals more about how Eddie feels for Buck than he's comfortable saying at the moment.

That long-winded tangent aside, I wanted to draw attention to it because this is another instance where Eddie seemingly has no reason not to mention to Buck that he's made a new friend in Tommy and that they've been hanging out a bunch and having fun. If anything, given how excited Eddie appears to be about Tommy and the wrestling match, you'd think Eddie would've been so excited that he would tell Buck right away. Instead, it gets to the day of and Eddie still hasn't thought to tell Buck, enough so that they're both equally shocked by their presence at Tommy's helicopter hanger. Not only that, but it implies that Eddie WOULD NOT have told Buck about it until the event passed (if he told him at all). But why? Why on earth would Eddie seemingly let this slip his mind so much as to not tell Buck at all. It can't just be oh I simply forgot or I'm having too much fun with Tommy. At this point in time, we still don't have any textual reason why, but I'm going to hypothesize that Eddie is aware (on some level but mostly subconsciously) that what he and Tommy are doing is basically going out on dates. And something in Eddie told him that he shouldn't tell Buck. Why? Perhaps because it implies something queer about Eddie that he's not ready to share with Buck yet? Time shall tell.

Additionally, it's interesting to note Eddie starts this episode hiding his friendship with Tommy from Buck, and it seems like the next episode is gonna start with Buck hiding his relationship with Tommy from Eddie. Much to think about.

Eddie also doesn't feel the need to tell Buck about the trip until after it happens and Buck has to be the one to ask. First of all, I want to say that Eddie should be given some grace here. Man doesn't have that many friends, and the last time a manfriend gave him this much attention Eddie gave him his son and built a forever home together so he just needs an adjustment period. Eddie is an intense bitch and tends to go all in with people (that he actually cares about *cough* not female romantic prospects *cough*), so I'm not surprised he's a little preoccupied with Tommy. Additionally, Eddie is a human. Sometimes humans don't pick up on the signs that others are in distress. It's not "ooc" that Eddie doesn't realize Buck is upset. It's a natural human mistake.

Now that that's out of the way this scene is hilarious because it's yet another parallel but this time, it parallels our very own Eddieana scene in 4x06 Jinx (written by the lovely Taylor Wong who also made a cameo in the bachelor scene as "tennis girl").

This is actually the second conversation walking to a scene that Buck and Eddie had about Ana, but both times Buck appears very interested in Eddie's dating life. In this same episode he also randomly asks what Ana's "love language" is despite knowing the man has had less than five whole conversations with her. What's important to note here is Buck's pattern of being overly interested in Eddie's romantic prospects. This is no different for Tommy (who Buck unconsciously realizes IS a romantic prospect for Eddie).

Okay looks like I've reached tumblr's limit on how many pics I can post so I'm going to be forced to make this into parts but I will make them all at the same time and post at the same time.

Find part 2, part 3 and part 4.

[thenightfolknetwork]

Really minor issue but still: there's a comedian who has a hilarious routine about menstruation, and that exactly describes how I feel about my transformations; and there's a different comedian who has a hilarious routine about lycanthropy, and THAT exactly describes how I feel about my period. I want to recommend one or both of those to various friends, but it just feels really awkward to explain that while both of them are relatable for me, it's kind of like crossed over?

I don't think you have anything to worry about, reader. People have been making the connection between menstruation and monthly transformation since the dawn of time, and I'm sure your friends will appreciate the humour in the issue. If there wasn't a good deal of crossover between the experiences, people wouldn't keep making 'time of the month' jokes.

I do wonder whether your discomfort might be speaking to a different issue, though. This is such a solid old joke, the idea of feeling “really awkward” with the topic, even among friends, speaks to a deeper discomfort.

Lycanthropic transformation and menstruation have other things in common beyond cramps, mood swings and food cravings. They are both natural, ordinary physical processes that have been stigmatised because of their association with an oppressed class of people, to the point where people who experience these processes are often taught to be ashamed of them.

It seems obvious to say but remember: your friends are your friends. They are friends with a person who menstruates, and a person who experiences transformation. If you're uncomfortable with sharing either of those parts of your life with them, take some time to reflect on whether that discomfort stems from their behaviour, or your own assumptions.

[For more creaturely advice, check out Monstrous Agonies on your podcast platform of choice, or visit monstrousproductions.org for more info]

[grandthefoxdelusion]

Ok, so I have been notified of the accusations, and first off, she actually started this all. I can't provide screenshots (unlike her, I actually respect her privacy. But if I have no choice, I will) but when I brought back up an idea, that she was actually ok with and even asked if she wanted to see it, she came at me with rage rants and all caps. The toxicity sparked from her, not me. And the accusation of being friends with someone's groomer genuinely made me sick, scared, and disgusting. Because the thing is, I have been groomed when I was the age of 12. And the thought of lying to someone and befriending someone's groomer just makes me feel like a monster, even though it isn't true.

Now another thing is I wasn't stealing Vian's work, I was inspired by people at my school having similar names to characters, and was following the multifandom crossover trend. As Vian's work wasn't the only one. There's other users to write things like they had, as multifandom crossovers are actual existing trends. But it only was wrong when I made one.

Another thing is it feels more like this is her taking out anger on me. Cause the entire ranting and blaming just felt so out of character. And might I add, she never actually told me what kinds of ideas she's ok with or not, so I genuinely didn't know. Cause she just said "ideas"

The person who sent her the screenshots is one I even trusted, and vented to. But it's actually fucked up how she went as far to take screenshots of a conversation I had with someone who I was venting to. Probably saying I was 'playing victim' but it's just I overly apologize. It's how I apologize, and I never knew it would be used against me.

And something I must say as well is how, because of her post of targeting me, I don't just feel unsafe online, but everywhere else. I even had to ask the few friends I have from before the argument they wouldn't turn on me. Because developing trust issues when I usually am very trusting should actually be saying something, as the accusations just got to my head, and I genuinely was afraid someone would believe them and I'll be hunted down.

Another reason I feel she's tracking me is how her post of how I'm "dangerous" was made in August 13. But only five hours after I made the first post on The Academy of Wonder sideblog, she linked it and put "don't harass" and "tell her how wrong it is" in the same line. Which for my mom, shouts planned assault.

I haven't even been doing well with trying not to overthink about everything, because unlike the monster she labels me, I actually have been getting sick and hungry. Because I felt dying would bring me peace, I honestly felt that. But now, instead, I aim to inform.

I hope this clears some stuff up. And if it's already not obvious enough, this post ONLY aims to just inform. Do not pester, harass, or anything like that of those I mentioned. Thank you for reading.

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

What kind of shenanigans can happen if Eru Lee and Minato happen to accidentally fall into twilight world and couldn’t directly go back (they’re stuck for now)?

Will they even interact with anyone?

Or like Maybe in the start of the battle in BD? Will that change the outcome of the “battle” somehow?

Anon's referring to Minato Namikaze and the Destroyer of Worlds.

The thing is, when it comes to crossover, I have to default to Lee and Obito. They're just more susceptible to shenanigans and interesting plotlines/things happening. And it's tradition. I'm sorry, anon, I have no choice.

Well, per the laws of interesting things happening, part of the problem of why the pair can't go back is Obito somehow immediately gets eaten by a vampire. Perhaps they're drawn in by the taste of his sweet sweet Uchiha blood only to realize "oh no, this is inedible alien gunk and what the fuck even is this" as Obito is both descended from alien gunk and uh had misadventures where he's more alien than he would have been otherwise thanks to a terrible time in a cave.

Three days later, after one hell of a fever, Lee realizes her beloved apprentice has turned into a crystal cannibalistic demon who, per how gifts in Twilight seem to work, is even more powerful than he was as Obito Uchiha with an uncontrollable thirst to eat people.

"Fuuuuuuuuuuuck" says Lee.

The rest of the time is spent on a quest to turn Obito back into a not cannibalistic crystal alien demon and Obito can you stop eating people for two seconds? (Obito has been living on a diet of clones/unfortunate humans who got too close).

It quickly becomes apparant that even if they could go home... if they do... this thing seems to be infectuous and the village will try to turn everyone into overpowered cannibal shinobi which is a very bad idea. Even if they just sacrifice a few to become berserker blood gods... that's bad.

"Maybe we shouldn't go home" Lee slowly realizes as she can't exactly leave Obito here/she was having issues at home anyway, and she can't seem to turn Obito back.

It then becomes a quest of "how do recovering shinobi do in a world where there's no feudal Japan" and "where do we put recovering crystal cannibalistic ghoul demon" and "why are other cannibalistic ghoul demons after us???" when they're a little too obvious with "we are alien shinobi, please hire us to murder bandits!"

I imagine they're propositioned by the Volturi and there's a lot of :/ "working for non-Konoha hidden village is bad".

If/when they come into contact with the Cullens I imagine there's a lot of "these people are weird" as the Cullens would appear extra weird to Lee and Obito. Though they might join to get Obito off of the clone juice. You know. That would be nice.

Sorry, anon, it's one of those questions best answered by writing a fic but I'm probably not going to do that.

[inkedroplets]

fanfic writer questions

Thanks so much for the tag @sideguitars

1- How many works do you have on AO3?

Twenty. A good mix of one-shots and longer fics that I will finish someday...

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

534,441

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Supergirl but I've dabbled with Legends of Tomorrow and have a few unpublished fics for different fandoms that I might share

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

A Rich Girl With Issues (I swear I'm almost done with the last chapter. The flu kicked my ass but I'm finishing up. My weird Lena becomes a vigilante fic. I still am amazed that people like it as much as they do)

Maybe I'm Too Afraid to Admit It (Kind of cute Kara realizes she has feelings for Lena. I really don't know why this one resonated with so many people)

Somewhere You Can't Follow (My weird (and poorly written) Legends and Supergirl crossover. I would love to go back and actually rewrite large bits of this but the dialogue is on point, at least. Oh and Lena gets to see her mom again so that's a plus)

Denial is Not Just a River in Egypt (I have no memory of this place fic)

Nothing Gold Can Stay (My one and only kidfic but I love it to pieces)

5. Do you respond to comments?

I do and I don't. I'm a lot more offline than I was when I first started writing and if too much time passes, I feel weird about responding since I feel like I'm bothering people but I am trying to be better about it. Because I really do cherish each one

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Probably nothing I've posted yet would count but I do have one that I plan to post soon-ish that's so angsty I took a year to decide whether or not to share it.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I think all of my one-shots have pretty standard happy endings. I think I'll say that either Rich Girl or Nothing Gold Can Stay will have the happiest endings (in my opinion) Wait (a little longer) and see

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I'll get the occasional weird comment. Nothing out of the ordinary. I did get a really rude bookmark once that kind of made me laugh. They hated the story yet still chose to bookmark it which is a choice.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I dabble in it. There's a snippet floating around somewhere on tumblr that I'm too lazy to find. I'll share it once I finish the first chapter. It's a bit out of my wheelhouse but its fun? Very different kind of writing than what I'm used to.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

I write a lot of crossovers. I think when I write fic, I want to see something a little strange and unique that I can't find elsewhere. I'm working on a fic now where Kara meets Matt Murdock, that's not an interaction I ever envisioned myself writing.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I don't think so? To be fair, I haven't ever cared enough to check. I don't think I'm popular enough to get a fic stolen xD

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

I have! Someone translated one of my fics into Russian. I was incredibly flattered that they liked it enough to do so.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, and I think it's mostly because I'm quite a selfish writer? I know what and how I want to write so collaboration is quite difficult. Maybe I still have some leftover trauma from all the group projects of my past.

14. What's your all time favorite ship?

Supercorp, if that wasn't very, very obvious.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I'll finish them all!

16. What are your writing strengths?

I really don't know and that's not just me being modest. I don't really think I do anything particularly well?

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Being succinct. Every ficlet wants to be a multi-chaptered story and every multi-chaptered story wants to be a novel

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I think if implemented well it can be a great addition. If it's merely tacked on, however... I feel it not only doesn't add anything to the story but it makes the reader aware that they're reading a story. A bit of the magic is lost in the clunky execution.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

On AO3 Supercorp but I've dabbled in fandom for years and years. There's ancient Xena fic somewhere in my mother's basement

20. Favorite fic you've written?

Probably has to be Rich Girl but I really am fond of Swear Not by the Moon, as well. I've really enjoyed expanding the scope of Supergirl's world a bit and watching the characters slowly grow over the course of the story

No-pressure tags, of course: I never know who to tag in these until I finish these but if you like @rustingcat @vox-ex @sazernac

[the-ghost-sin]

Okay crossover post, what weapons would the seven deadly sins main in Splatoon?

In honour of the grandfest being over, I'm giving my thoughts 😌✨

Meliodas: the obvious choice would be some kind of splatana for the sword thing, but I think he'd go dualies for the Dodge rolls. He'd have splashdown but I think he secretly wants to wreck havoc with the ultra stamp

King: is not a physical fighter for shit, so I'd say some kind of long ranged tri-stinger, but the important thing is he wants an inkjet because he's good in the air

Ban: I can't see him with a gun type weapon, but definitely something with high damage where he can get close and personal with his enemies, so a slosher (or, on occasion, a heavy splatling when he wants to be extra) and I think he'd have the tacticooler as a special, keeping it lowkey and having a chilled drink mid battle sounds like him

Merlin: baddie with a charger, doesn't care to be right in the centre of battle so she snipes from the back lines, and she is damn good at it. I think she'd have a more tactical special like the wavebreaker so she can mark where her opponents are

Gowther: I also think he'd be good with a stronger weapon, something majestic about them, he'd pick it based on the design only. I think he'd have inkzooka as his special, because you'd underestimate him and then BAM

Diane: multi-main queen, she's definitely more of a fighter so I'd give her a front line weapon like a roller or the sploosh (had to give someone my beloved main) but she's really fine with anything. Obviously, had to give her the ultra stamp, because, you know, giant hammer. But if it weren't for that, I'd say booyah bomb because she wants to make an impact

Escanor: heavy hitter, huge power, gotta be a blaster. I'm thinking a one-shot blaster like the S-blast because he would absolutely destroy you. For a special I would have to go with the crab tank, because he himself is a TANK. But he's too prideful to use the special, though

Elizabeth: depends on which season. Season 1 Ellie I would give the blobobbler, because she'd be throwing bubbles everywhere and not know what's going on and somehow get 20 kills. And she'd have the big bubbler as a special because she wants to protect her teammates. Season 4 Ellie would use some kind of small in design, but powerful shooter, like the classic splattershot or even a sploosh if she wanted some damage. I have to give her the booyah bomb because of arc of course, but she'd still use the big bubbler from time to time

[havendance]

I am now thinking about a DC/The Old Guard Crossover:

Even in this universe where there's a billion different funky and weird things going on, the old guard's deal is still unexplainable. They've had a lot of time to look into things over the years and it isn't the metagene or magic or nth metal or aliens or the gods or the red or the green or the speedforce or any of other myriad freaky things going on in the DC universe.

They definitely have beef with Ras al Guhl, and probably also Vandal Savage and honestly the Order of St Dumas too I guess.

The point of this crossover is obviously to throw together different Rucka characters so Kate Kane is the newest member of the Old Guard.

(Sasha Bordeaux would be my second choice, and probably Renee Montoya as a third because while Renee is a very Rucka character, she is a very Rucka character in a different way)

Kate does not die when the religion of crime stabs her through the heart.

Maybe it heals just a little quicker and Kate makes a fuller recovery than expected. I'm not sure whether the regenerating abilities of the Old Guard are related only to death or if they manifest prior to death.

She does die though, in a cave in Britain (sigh, due to DickBats giving her an overdose of morphine). No one realizes that she didn't actually need the Lazarus pit in order to come back to life.

Afterwards, Kate starts having strange dreams. She assumes it's due to the pit.

Until that is, a woman shows up, shoots her before she has a chance to reacts, and explains that Kate can't die when she wakes up.

I think chronologically I'd put this before the events of The Old Guard, so Nile hasn't shown up yet.

Kate doesn't go with them. She's Batwoman. She has her mission. She has Gotham. She isn't going to stop.

"I'm a rich heiress," she says. "No one's going to bat an eye if I don't age."

"Until they do," Andy says.

"I'll cross that bridge when I come to it."

And for a while, no one does.

The DEO discover her identity, but they don't discover her greater secret--that she can't die.

I think it doesn't really sink in that she can't die. Kate still tries to avoid it and that helps keep the secret. Sometimes though, she doesn't have a choice. She will spend her life if necessary--all of Gotham's vigilantes will--Kate's bar for necessary is just lower. When that happens she always seems to make a miraculous recovery or have excellent luck.

She tells Maggie her identity but not her secret. Things don't work out and Kate never gets to the point where that has to change.

Batman is the first to notice Kate isn't aging because of course he is. He does know about the Old Guard because of their aforementioned beef with the League of Assassins and because he has notes on everything.

Bruce noticing is Kate's sign that she needs to make a decision. He may be the first to notice, but he won't be the last. Soon, gossip will turn pointed.

Now, if Bruce were the one to end up in this situation, his course of action would be obvious. He would immediately ditch Bruce Wayne and become Batman full time and Batman would haunt Gotham for all eternity.

I'm not sure if Kate has that same single-minded devotion to Gotham. Her primary motivation is that she wants to serve. Gotham and the Bat symbol give her away to do that. She may haunt Gotham for a while, maybe a lifetime or two, but in the end I think she does join up with Old Guard and join them in their never ending fighting and dying.

[quirkwizard]

If you could drop full power All Might (or Izuku, whichever sounds more fun) into a setting, where would you pick? It could be just because you want the setting to get the hammers of justice, or because you want to see some unique interactions. I realize the question is a bit aimless, but I kinda like your crossover questions like the vs ones.

You know what? I'll cover them both. For the sake of this, I am disqualifying anything related to Marvel or DC. There have been so many fan works related to those two and are such obvious choices that I don't feel the need to include them.

-Any "realistic" hero setting: The Boys specifically. I just want to see Izuku or All Might beat the life out of every single character in that series, show or comic. Not only would it those insufferable mouth pieces to stop talking, but it would be refreshing to see some actual heroes in that setting.

-Any manga with a notable power system: This is a sort of catch all for other big shonen series like Dragonball or Naruto. I'd really only want this to see how they'd interact with the system. Like I'd be curious to see what Izuku's Stand would look like or how All Might would use ki, rather then anything deeper then that.

-One Punch Man: Probably the setting they'd have the easiest time fitting into with the hero system, though their may be some friction with how differently the heroes act. By that same metric, it's one of the least interesting to talk about. I'd be really curious to see how they'd interact with Saitama and Garou especially.

-Pokémon: I'm suggesting this one more because I'm curious what choices they'd make, like the kinds of teams they'd build or what their actual goals would be. If nothing, it'd be hilarious to All Might and Izuku could go head to head with other Pokemon. Their team gets knocked out by a Tyranitar and box it themselves.

-One Piece: I believe that it would be intriguing to see how Izuku and All Might would deal with such a radically different world, both in terms of geography and politics. Not only is this a world where everything is so spread out, but it's a world where there are plenty morally awful people for them to go against on both sides of the law.

-Jujutsu Kaisen: This is a mix of wanting to see them deal with the various injustices of that world and wanting to see them beat the life out of all of the villainous characters in that series. And for those of you who say they can't, I would like to remind you that Maki and Toji are a thing. Just give them a good ole magic stick and let them go to work.

-Worm: While I don't particularly care for Worm in execution, I do think that it'd be interesting to see people like All Might and Izuku act with it. Not just how they'd interact with the failing system of heroes or how they'd fight the various villains, but how they'd interact with the world. Genuinely good people with power who aren't bogged down in the mire of misery that is this setting.

-Hunter x Hunter: What may be the best mix of options. With this, would get a far more morally lax world, especially for those in power, that the two could play against. There's also a varied and personal power system for them to interact with. I'd be really curious to see the kind of abilities the two would have with Nen and how they'd try to deal with such a "might makes right" kind of world.

[munchflix]

MUNCHFLIX - FIVE NIGHTS AT FREDDY'S

IMDB BLURB: A troubled security guard begins working at Freddy Fazbear's Pizza. During his first night on the job, he realizes that the night shift won't be so easy to get through. Pretty soon he will unveil what actually happened at Freddy's.

WARNINGS: It's pg-13 dude.

RATING: It's not horror, but it is FNAF.

OBLIGATORY DISCLAIMER:

Munch: SO it's time for us to watch Five Nights at Freddy's. I previewed this last night but Biscuits refused to watch it until now.

Biscuits: I don't have any tequila, I'm sad about this. I do have whiskey.

M: I unfortunately must remain sober. Everyone seems to love this movie, I'm not sure why. Maybe I'm just a curmudgeon.

B: Dude it's five freddys at night. It's like that wojack meme of them pointing at freddy. It's him, the fredbear from the night. By the way this movie was announced 8 YEARS AGO. A time when I was still invested in FNAF lore.

M: I admit to knowing a fair amount of FNAF lore myself, but it kinda ends after the 3rd game because I stopped caring. Oh yeah the movie.

B: What's happening?

M: A security guard is going through some shit. It's incredibly dark. You can almost tell what's happening. He's gonna get his face eaten off by a freddy head. As is par. To make you think this is a horror movie.

B: The new Saw movie looks great! Bold choice to do a crossover with Five Nights at Freddy's.

M: I do like the look of things. They did a good job of recreating the pizzeria in all it's glory, it's very accurate.

B: Blumhouse because of course it is.

M: The opening animations an obvious nod to the games. There are SO many.

B: I like the funky synth music. It's no Toreador March, but….Josh Hutcherson has emerged from a decade of irrelevancy! Formerly known for his critically acclaimed role in Trapped In An Island with Josh Hutcherson.

There make be snakes!

M: He's a decent dude, he should have had the fame that Jennifer Lawrence had. Josh, I mean MIKE, has a sister he has to take care of and he's a security guard at…some mall. Doesn't matter. He's into dreams.

B: He hasn't aged a day, he's just acquired some facial hair. Now he's chasing some kid and his dad, he thinks he just witnessed a child abduction but actually…

M: He just beat the shit out of some dude for no reason. And now the employment department!

B: This is the kind of discrimination single dads face on a daily basis, Josh.

M: And now Matthew Lilliard, who is COMPLETELY SQUANDERED in this movie. He has never put less than 1000 percent cunt into every role and they wasted him.

B: Two months at a job? Me too, Josh.

M: His uh…job counselor is kinda sus.

B: Listen bud you have limited job options, join the club.

M: Are you suggesting we get a job at the FNAF pizzeria?

B: I wish all job counselors were this honest. The hours are bad, the pay is awful…

M: They keep not saying his last name which I guess is supposed to be a twist so we think he's Mike Afton but the twist is he's Mike Schmidt. No spoilers tho.

B: The twist is he's Michael Myers! He has a weird little sister and she does creepy things.

M: Possibly psychic. Very sixth sense going on here. Mike has a bit of a pill problem and somehow can go to sleep listening to the most annoying bird sounds in all existence. ASMR you're trapped in an aviary.

B: I remember this part of the FNAF lore. Where he has a little brother who gets kidnapped. Is this canon? I think they made this up for the movie.

M: It's not.

B: Why does he have a child?

M: It's his sister.

B: So his parents just popped out another one 20 years later???

M: Sure, why not. And now the awful Aunt and the best character in this whole movie. DOUG the lawyer. I love him. She wants custody of the sister, Abby. Mike doesn't want this. He's kind of a jerk about it though.

Doug is the most relatable character in the movie tbh

B: There has to be some sort of like…inciting factor. We gotta have some reason why he's gotta work at five nights at fredericks. He's gotta keep custody of his sister. Finally, Five Nights at Freddys is in the Five Nights at Freddy's movie. If I'm in the movie theater with my five year old son, he doesn't care about Josh Hutcherson! He wants to see the funny guy from the youtube video!!

M: Well TOO BAD! Because there's a lot more Josh Hutcherson than Freddy's.

B: What year is it?? It's implied to still be the 80's but the place is all closed down and they have an old looking tv? They gotta keep it ambiguous or people would start talking about the bite of 87 or whatever.

M: There are so many easter eggs. The celebrate poster from the game, the fucking desk fan, the training video, I could go on and on.

B: This training video is def 80's. This technology existed in the 80's btw, the government was just hiding it from everyone. Actually they're alive because ghosts and not lithium batteries but…What a great analog horror video. I'm subscribing to this channel.

M: Balloon boy jump scare! Nothing ever happens on night 1 though. So Mike is just gonna take a walky and then take a nap.

B: I can almost see anything in this fucking movie! It's so dark! It's like watching a Zack Snyder movie. Maybe in a theater it would look better...?

M: I really think it's just the fucking death of film lighting period. I do think the animatronics look good. They look really damn good.

B: They looked kinda crap in the trailer. Sleempy Mike. Now he's having more PTSD nightmares about his brother getting kidnapped.

M: But wait! There's more chilluns! In his dream, as is normal.

B: We're the children from the FNAF who got murdered.

M: You are correct. 6 am reference! Time to go home. Mike isn't paying his babysitter.

B: It's nice to have a girl who will watch his sister for free. I assumed they died in cancer/plane crash. Sparky's is a reference. That's MatPat.

M: The babysitter is sus. And her other friend and the evil aunt are having lunch while conspiring against Mike. I love Doug.

B: So the Aunt is like…the villian…the antagonist character?

M: I mean…sort of. It's possible she's in cahoots with Afton on some level but it's never confirmed. Back at home Mike is being a terrible parent again and Abby wants to go to FNAF world with him but this is a really bad idea. Now…if you were a criminal….and you wanted to make Mike look bad, when would you go trash the place?

B: When he's there.

M: Thank you. Mike is asleep again.

B: Thanks Blumhouse I can almost see what's going on in the movie. How many times are we gonna see sweaty Josh running around in a forest in this movie?

M: You have no idea. He's dreaming of the FNAF kids again because he thinks they know where his brother is. One of them cuts him and he bleeds IRL.

B: Wow I was scare.

M: And now there's a cop at the door. As is also normal and part of the FNAF canon.

B: Vanessa is a reference.

M: That's not a reference, that's part of the canon! Because why not.

B: They had to put some shit from security breach in here cos it's the new one.

M: Vanessa suspiciously knows a lot and isn't giving us any info why.

B: Mike, just Mike. No last name.

M: Vanessa is here to give us some EXPOSITION. Because fuck show don't tell!

B: It's great that all these arcade machines are still plugged in after 10, 20 years.

M: This part made me have Chuck E Cheese flashbacks.

A powerful bear...named Frederick Entertainment Fazbear

B: Playing covers of popular songs was a big thing in these types of restaurants.

M: Something something some kids went missing.

B: Back in the 80's!! Could you please tell me what fucking year it is??? This motherfucker is listening to a cassette player so unless he's some kind of hipster? I hated that scene btw. Go away I hate you.

M: Unfortunately she will be here so much more.

B: So the criminals are breaking in…after he's left???

M: Yes!

B: Even if you wanted to frame him, the CCTV footage is gonna tell them when you were there! But okay I guess?? Oh there's still money in the arcade machine? It's not like they empty those every day.

M: I love the random older man who's just hanging out with these teenaged criminals.

B: He's been bustin up abandoned buildings since back in the 80's!

M: One of them finds Chica's cupcake and it does a spooky and then Chica does a spooky. Almost all the violence happens offscreen because….pg13.

B: They couldn't make this an R rated movie because it's Five Nights at Freddy's. The people who grew up with it are all adults now but the target audience remains basically the same.

M: Bonnie does a spooky.

B: I literally can't see anything in that shot! Also appreciate the attempt to get away with a huge bag of COINS, the heaviest and least valuable denomination of money you can get. You might have 50 bucks MAX in quarters.

Also Bonnie. he's cool.

M: The point is that they're all getting murdered. Offscreen. Very darkly. And yet they did not even try to bother Mike.

B: Mike left!

M: It's been two nights he's been there though!

B: Okay…I guess.

M: Freddy bites Max the babysitter completely in half. But we only see the shadow.

B: We get Plato's allegory of the cave violence! We never get to see it directly.

Also Sparky the Dog. he's cool.

M: Back at home Abby draws more pictures and Mike Mike's all over the place while she magically finds the custody papers.

B: They're watching public domain cartoons.

M: From the 80's. Vanessa shows up at their house to tell them that someone broke into the pizzeria. She found Mike's pills.

B: The year is killing me, is it the 90's??? Early 00s maybe? If it was the 10's everyone would be on their smart phones. Is this really criminal negligence?? He didn't lock the doors to this ABANDONED BUILDING!!!?? IT'S ABANDONED!!!

M: Now Mike is gonna exposit all over Vanessa about how he takes the pills to try and remember the dream of when his brother was taken in a lucid dream every night. He's very talented to have the same dream every night.

B: I really hate Vanessa, she's completely insufferable.

M: I agree. Also can I take a moment to talk about how fucking SLOW this is. The pacing is awful.

B: I don't give a shit. I don't care about your dreams. Shut up. I'm here with my 10 year old who wanted to see the funny Fazbear on the screen and he's ASLEEP right now! That wasn't even english on the walkie talkie, when cops talk on those they don't just go GNWEUIFHB98FHNWIEFNEI

M: Your son is now 10???

B: Shut up! I don't even have a son!

M: We are halfway through.

B: I do not understand. What even is gonna happen.

M: So Mike is gonna take Abby to work at FNAF but I gotta stop for a minute because…people DIED in there. Did Vanessa find the bodies? Are the bodies still there? Did someone clean them up? She didn't even mention that to Mike????

B: Who called the police to report the break in?

M: If they did, did only Vanessa show up??

B: Is Vanessa even really a police officer?

Vanessa is lookin pretty SUS. (that's still a funy joek in 2023, rite?)

M: That's a very good question! Mike is just like, you're gonna sleep and I'm gonna watch the monitors and this is a totally safe idea. Abby is well known to behave.

B: I'm sure nothing bad will happen.

M: I guess he's gonna clean up. If he was Nick Cage this would've been done forever ago.

B: He's gotta stop and have a cola and play pinball.

M: Actually, he's gonna nap! Because that's the responsible thing to do!

B: All the excitement from the FNAF games you love like DARK ROOMS! NAPPING! AND OFFSCREEN MURDER! Well I guess that last one is fair.

M: So of corpse, Abby wakes up and fucks off. But it's cool because of reasons.

B: Bro…is this the only way we could convey the story of the missing kids…80 sequences of Mike in the woods? A lot of the people watching this already know all this. This review makes it sound like I just hate FNAF and that's not really the truth.

M: I don't hate FNAF at all, but this movie is so utterly middling. We're halfway through and 90 percent of the movie has been Mike dreaming. But now he's out there and the animatronics are all there and alive and playing with Abby.

B: He's gonna fight Freddy with a chair.

M: Just like in the games. They're well known to be friendly to children.

B: Abby is a special psychic child.

M: Mike is wigging just a bit as anyone would.

B: I mean in real life they're wired to the stage so…yeah.

M: Freddy is still looking at Mike like, you're on thin fuckin' ice.

B: Wow this movie is jam packed with chills and thrills and I am on the edge of my seat right now. To quote Arin Hanson, "Just…something happen, PLEASE!"

M: I mean some dudes got killed but...

B: I couldn't even see it happening! Hey Abby wtf is going on btw.

M: Her friends she's been drawing all movie are apparently the FNAF kids because of course they are. How she knows them???

B: You'd better start believing in ghost stories Mister Hutcherson…

M: Mike is like hey remember our dead brother who died ages before you were born? You drew him getting kidnapped, so…explain. Was it the boy from my dreams? Oh it was?

B: Trying to use her psychic powers to solve a crime but all they talk about is a yellow rabbit. Exploit your sister to resolve your own personal trauma. I don't see this going well.

M: Back with Vanessa who is at FNAF for some fucking reason, Mike and Abby show up and Mike is like hey did you think to mention that there are ghost kids possessing the robots? And now they're gonna build a fucking fort. The animatronics too. This is a real thing that is happening.

B: How does something like that even right itself….?

M: I have no idea. I don't know why Mike is suddenly on board with all this. I would not be under there with them.

Everyone's just vibin' :)

B: Mike is finally asking questions he should have been asking a long time ago. Vanessa explains the springlocks because that will obviously be important later. And Vanessa, who was like YEAH FORT is now like HOW DARE YOU BRING ABBY HERE.

M: Who the hell are you Vanessa, that's something you should've asked like forever ago. Abby tries to strum Bonnie's geetar and gets minorly electrocuted but it's no big.

B: Oh my GOD. Sorry Abby, I'm kind of an asshole.

M: So now he's gonna do an even bigger asshole thing and call Aunty Shrew to come babysit and possibly you know…take custody of his sister so he can keep napping. Abby is not happy. The Pharmacist is the second best person in this movie.

B: He's doing dream magic because.. it's…you know. He couldn't just do this at night.

M: It is night.

B: It was just morning!

M: It took a really long time at the pharmacy okay. And now for the UMPTEENTH TIME, trapped in a dream forest with Josh Hutcherson.

B: But whyyyyyyy.

M: The ghost children are like, hey give us Abby and you can dream about your dead brother. And he's like OKAY. Mike kinda is an asshole. He immediately changes his mind but that's not how a deal with the devil works. The kids run around him uh…slicing him up for some reason.

B: And now he's in the saw trap where the first security guy presumably died.

M: Good thing it's slow moving. But he gets out becaus he's the protagonist.

B: Okay so…the bodies are still here. There's some gore. That's your PG-13 right there.

M: In the super secret room nobody can ever find but two people have now stumbled into. Back with evil Auntie, Abby is hiding in her room and Freddy is just there.

B: Frederick is in the house. You somehow didn't hear him enter even though he must weigh a ton. Like as much as a small car. He's murdered Auntie Jane.

M: And now the chillest taxi driver on earth who is somehow fine giving a ride across town to a small child and a giant animatronic.

I gifed the animatronics because they're the most interesting thing on screen but trust me, these gifs severly overstate how much they are in the movie.

B: How does Freddy even fit in a human sized car?

M: I don't know.

B: Vanessa is tending to Mike's wounds. She conveniently found him. They tried to kill him. Yeah…they do that. Why did you just leave the bodies there Vanessa? And why haven't they started to decay?

M: Vanessa is still not telling us shit. But Mike tells her that he said yes to giving Abby to them and she tells him they're gonna make her like him.

B: In the movie a lot of things aren't very clear. Vanessa tells us that the bodies of the dead kids are in the animatronics.

M: Like…how would people NOT NOTICE. But this is canon.

B: How does Vanessa know all this?

M: She tells us about AFTON.

B: The man behind the slaughter. The purple fellow. Okay, that's not canon that he's her father?

M: Hell if I know, I stopped following lore well before Vanessa showed up. Also somehow Afton killed Mike's brother.

B: Where did he put Garrett's body?? That's like SIX children now, are there six kids in each animatronic??

M: Vanessa's master plan is to taser the animtronics that are somehow being controlled by ghost children who are being controlled by William Afton. But she's not gonna go with Mike because Afton is her dad and stuff.

B: Let's fix that with a controlled shock. It's a good thing it's taking Abby a long time to get murdered.

M: Freddy considers murder and then reconsiders. Abby is being taken by Chica to the back room to be put into a device that looks suspiciously like the Baby animatronic. Meanwhile Mike is tasering Freddy and Bonnie.

B: I never understood what Chica did in the band anyway. Backup vocals? There's no way they could feasibly be playing this music with just one guitar. My suspension of disbelief is totally destroyed, Mister Fredbear. Don't you need to re-arm a taser?

M: Yep. But he gets Abby.

B: You've been an idiot about most things, Mike. To be fair. You should go.

M: The cupcake looks silly attacking but I do like it's design. I actually like the animatronics a lot and it would kick ass if they were like…

B: IN THE MOVIE!! For more than like 20 minutes of screen time in this two hour long movie.

M: See also, Matthew Lilliard. They squandered all the best parts of this movie. In favor of an hour of dream sequences. Abby and Mike again get separated but she hides in the ball pit and now….the best part of the movie. Golden Bonnie is here. Who is also Afton but no spoilers.

B: Me in the Dashcon ballpit.

M: Vanessa shows up 20 minutes late to the party with uh…nothing. I do love the way they did the whole golden bonnie thing. Though I'm really unsure about how he's controlling them? Vanessa apparently has a gun.

B: You're gonna shoot your undead father with a gun? Oh he's alive!

M: For now. He is also the job counselor. To absolutely nobody's suprise. (editor's note: biscuits did not at all realize this while watching the movie) She shoots daddy but somehow that isn't enough to activate the springlocks. Afton stabs his own daughter as Abby frantically draws pictures to show the other kids that he's really the bad guy. Afton gets all springlock failed and they drag him off into the back room.

B: Well canonically all this happened a really long time ago, but the movie doesn't care about the timeline. I always come back, yeah, way too many fucking times, bro.

M: And now everything is great and Abby is happy and Mike looks exactly the same.

B: The pacing is…so weird.

M: They stop by the hospital to see Vanessa and set up a sequel!

B: Well I mean if there's one thing FNAF really loves, it's sequels. This movie is so boring. Can we visit my dead friends some time? NO.

M: laughs Yeah, no.

B: Okay, movie SAVED by using the Living Tombstone. I'm amazed that they got the license for this.

M: I laughed out loud, I fucking loved it. It's the best thing. Oh Jim Henson's creature shop worked on the puppets, that explains why they looked so good. Final thoughts?

B: It's just…really lame. There's a couple cool scenes and some cool stuff at the end but the rest of the movie isn't worth it. There's so much rich lore, SO much lore, and a rich universe that they had an infinite well of stuff to draw on, but they made up this whole other plot about Josh Hutcherson's family problems and it's just…lame.

M: I just really feel like it's takes itself way too seriously.

B: Like terminally ill seriously.

M: And they squandered all the best parts of FNAF. The animatronics should have been the FOCUS. Not the dream sequences. Afton should have been a MUCH bigger part of this. There was so much cool stuff they could have done but it's not about that. All the little easter eggs for the fans are great but ultimately…pointless.

B: And again, isn't this supposed to be for the fans? For people who already love FNAF? But it's not really.

M: I grok that in order to reach a wider audience you gotta kinda do that but

B: The FNAF fandom is MASSIVE! The majority of it is just like…Trapped in Freddy Fazbears with Josh Hutcherson.

M: Fair.

B: And like…if you like the movie that's fine. For me it's just kinda meh. It's not something I would watch again on purpose. It just made me wanna watch Willy's Wonderland again. Not worth the 8 year wait time.

M: 8 years…and this is what you came up with?? 8 years and Doug was the best part of the movie? I don't hate it. I don't love it. I'm a fan of the FNAF games, I just feel like it's a massive missed opportunity and that people need to remember how to light a fucking film. I'm tired of Hollywood just giving us the most banal experience possible for whatever reason.

Munch and Biscuits out, yo.

[queerofthedagger]

20 Questions for Fic Writers!

Thanks so much for the tag! <3

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

132 which. insane.

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

1,520,700 which is even more insane. anyway

3. What fandoms do you write for?

BBC Merlin, Stranger Things, The Sandman, The Raven Cycle, and Lord of the Rings, and coming soon probably also Black Sails, let's be real

4. Top 5 fics by kudos?

Old Haunts (Are For Forgotten Ghosts), A Study in Choices and Second Chances, I Wouldn't Leave You If You Let Me, Still I Surface in Morning Light, and Fate Rests Heavily On Our Shoulders. I'm never not baffled by the fact that my two most popular fics not only are for HP, but are for Regulus/Harry. Like. That tag has maybe 100 fics???

5. Do you respond to comments?

Yes!! Sometimes it takes me a while but I'll tend to get around to them eventually <3

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I think that's a toss-up between my my s5 Morgwen AU With Eyes Wide Open, and the one where I made the Diamond of the Day worse, watch all my bridges burn

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

This is such a difficult question because Angst with a Happy Ending is kind of my brand. That said, esp where Merlin is concerned, one thing I think about a lot is the inevitability of tragedy and how, no matter how many fix-its I write, personally I believe that most of them, if I didn't end them before the fact, would eventually end in some kind of tragic way, actually. Like. Very rarely is Merlin not immortal, or the world not against them, or or or. So in that vein I guess one of the happiest ones would be We Can Always Run because it's such an utter rejection of destiny, an utter refusal to even pretend they're playing the game.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Very rarely, thankfully.

9. Do you write smut?

Occasionally, yeah! It's a constant process of pushing at my comfort zone tbh, but I do enjoy doing it (ha), so!!

10. Do you write crossovers?

Nope, it's just not really my thing, neither for writing nor reading. Obviously never say never but yk.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Unfortunately (don't do this).

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes! Such a cool feeling, I love the thought of them existing in other languages in the world <3

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Nope; there have been and are a few plans for that floating around though 👀

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

This is so hard but in the end it gotta be merthur, like, because I love them to pieces but also just for the sheer amount of words I've written for them. Not sure if/how that would ever get topped, especially considering it's like, on-going.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you will?

There's a bunch of HP WIPs I would have loved to finish, but I've fallen so utterly out of love with the fandom I don't really think it's ever going to happen at this point tbh.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Worldbuilding, plots/characterization, and prose; I think I'm solid in those and they come easily to me/bring me the most joy when writing. Editing, in a way, because I'm an obsessive bitch with a system about it.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Descriptions; I'm just not a very visual writer, which is not too huge of an issue when writing familiar characters and settings in fic, but becomes immediately and glaringly obvious whenever I 1. introduce non-canon stuff, or 2. have a go at OG. Also planning/outlining; I can make a bunch of notes but if I write an outline, I will not write the fic. I don't think it's necessarily a weakness, but it can make a bunch of additional work when it comes to the plottier stuff.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language?

Not the biggest fan tbh, which I know is probably controversial but odds that your audience will understand it are low if it's more than a bunch of words you can guess from the context? I prefer the ""dialogue," he said in Latin" approach. It's subjective though I get it.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Bandom RPF at like, 12 (not telling you which band peace and love). I took a long fandom hiatus until a couple of years ago though, and under this fandom alias it'd be HP/Tomarrymort.

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

Still There Are Many Names In History, I think. I love a lot of stuff I've written, but that story has my entire heart in it, and the response to it has left me sobbing like. a ridiculous number of times which, like, is not something that I usually have to deal with lmao.

No Pressure-tagging: @prattery @emryses @glaftwlet @snapshotmaestro @merlinemrys @atlantablack @insane-ohwhyfandoms @hazelands @aeonthedimensionalgirl @slantedknitting and anyone else who'd like to, just say I tagged you <3

[nasuversekinkmeme]

Weekly Roundups: Prompts

FSN

Let this be the one and only prompt I will ever send to this blog. Saber with a top hat a mustache and a fat fucking blunt. A cigarette is also acceptable.

FATE/EXTRA

smut, You know that one scene in Fate/Extra where Rani has sex with your servant? Yeah I want Hakunon to be invited in. Whether she's an active participant or if she just gives a thumb up and leave is up to you. (Archer route preferred!)

FSR

One of the remaining FSR Servants (or even characters from FSR who have the potential to become Servants due to being a historical figure themselves [like Zheng Chenggong]) being summoned to Chaldea. Honestly free for all on what exactly happens in the fill, just something that starts with this.

Anything with Zheng Chenggong and FSR Saber meeting up in Chaldea (with both as Servants even if the former hasn't actually been made one yet in Fate) tbh.

FGO

smut, BB Dubai’s henchmen get into a competition with Constantine’s henchmen. Loser gets a one way ticket to getting fucked without mercy.

One of the events (I forget which) had Tamamo Cat take up the camera because "Trust me, you don't want to see what Ushi looks like grinning while covered from head to toe in blood, woof!" I politely disagree and would like to request an image of exactly that.

smut, fionn/group - fionn very nicely takes care of his knights' stress. exactly as it says. i want fionn being a good nice slut for his knights of fianna, because it's hard work, you know, and it's good to keep morale up, and surely they deserve a reward for all they've done, and it's definitely not just an excuse to get some contact in after traveling for months and being away from a nice warm bed with a pretty girl in it for so long. diarmuid is an obvious must, but as for the other knights, you can do whatever you want! toss in whatever headcanons you might have about 'em. i'd especially love to see goll mac morna, with his contentious relationship with fionn and how that might make any physicality between them tense.

For the body horror prompts, maybe something with vortigern or the any of the tam lin with their “true forms” so to speak turned up a few degrees?

Arjuna weight gain, please... It feels like there's only like five people in the fandom who like the idea of him soft, and I'm two of them. Any pairing except Karna is fine, art or fic fills welcome, any size is good, just make him squishy <3

ANY

smut, noncon, Kindly asking for reader insert noncon. Ideally I need to get passed around Chaldean servants like a blunt but even just a single "servant of your choice makes good use of their inhuman strength to lock a poor unsuspecting reader in place for a quick fuck" works for me.

I want blorbos and sex toys. Not necessarily using them, if you want to write me Shiki shopping for toys or draw me Arcueid holding a magic wand like a lightsaber, that works for me (though I won't say no to lemon with toys in action, haha!) Any character, any fandom, any medium.

CROSSOVER

Bill Cipher is summoned to Chaldea. Not with a humanoid body or anything, still a triangle (bonus points if he has an Extra Class like Foreigner or Watcher, Berserker would also be acceptable). He is so confused and angry about all of this. Guda keeps essentially going “I can fix him” (not romantic, just in typical Guda fashion) in spite of his obvious warning signs. His powers are severely limited except for when he uses his Noble Phantasm, and he doesn’t know what a Noble Phantasm is so he thinks he’s been weakened forever (until he figures out how to use it ala Mash did) So many of the people here don’t know who he is, so they aren’t scared of him. At least a lot of the evil Heroic Spirits want to hang out with him.

This is mostly an art prompt (but writers are always welcome!): Crossover with Final Fantasy 14, please interpret your fave servant as if they were from that game! What class would they main, what race would they be? go wildddd

[sun-spice]

So I found a Star Wars Prequels x Ian Banks Culture oneshot in my notes app, and it's actually not too bad, if I do say so myself... Thought I might post it to Tumblr for the very niche audience that would be familiar with this crossover 😂

Characters: Anakin Skywalker, Ahsoka Tano, Obi-Wan Kenobi

Rating: G, gen fic, no content warnings.

Summary: ANI was a warship, an uncrewed one as that, and for good reason. They were infamous among Special Circumstances for being one of the more reckless agents that the organisation employed, not exactly the ideal choice to entrust delicate organisms to.

So when a snippy human child forcibly boarded them... Well, they had no idea what to do.

She was kind of sweet though...

Their best friend and mentor was not impressed.

[tight beam, M8, tra@...]

xGSV Hello There

       oROU Aggressive Negotiations Incoming

Aggressive Negotiations Incoming, may I remind you of your quinquennial committee meeting. A meeting that was due to happen days ago, and yet I have not even glimpsed you on my scanners.

...

Aggressive Negotiations Incoming, ignoring me won't make the committee go away. I know you're receiving me.

...

ANI.

xROU Aggressive Negotiations Incoming

       oGSV Hello There

Heeyyyy, sorry, I didn't catch your transmissions. I got held up.

xGSV Hello There

       oROU Aggressive Negotiations Incoming

Held up?

xROU Aggressive Negotiations Incoming

       oGSV Hello There

Mmhmm.

xGSV Hello There

       oROU Aggressive Negotiations Incoming

Where?

xROU Aggressive Negotiations Incoming

       oGSV Hello There

There was a whole shitshow going down near Antteria.

xGSV Hello There

       oROU Aggressive Negotiations Incoming

A shitshow near Antteria.

xROU Aggressive Negotiations Incoming

       oGSV Hello There

That's what I said.

xGSV Hello There

       oROU Aggressive Negotiations Incoming

And when, exactly, was this 'shitshow'?

xROU Aggressive Negotiations Incoming

       oGSV Hello There

A few days ago. I'm on my way, I promise.

xGSV Hello There

       oROU Aggressive Negotiations Incoming

Antteria is a mere 10 systems away, not only would I have heard about said 'shitshow' by now, but you are a Rapid Offensive Unit, and the idea that you could not have gotten to me since then is laughable. Please do not insult my intelligence. What did you do?

xROU Aggressive Negotiations Incoming

       oGSV Hello There

Uh. Fuck.

xGSV Hello There

       oROU Aggressive Negotiations Incoming

ANI...

xROU Aggressive Negotiations Incoming

       oGSV Hello There

SOimayhaveaccidentallyiswearididntmeantobutshejustkindofdiditanywayandthenicouldntjustleaveherthereand

xGSV Hello There

       oROU Aggressive Negotiations Incoming

I do so love when you speak to me in M32.

xROU Aggressive Negotiations Incoming

       oGSV Hello There

So I sorta kinda kidnapped a human?

xGSV Hello There

       oROU Aggressive Negotiations Incoming

What. Who. Why?

xROU Aggressive Negotiations Incoming

       oGSV Hello There

When?? Where??? Whom's'tve'd????

xGSV Hello There

       oROU Aggressive Negotiations Incoming

Explain, ANI. I swear, if this human's name ends with Naberrie dam Theed...

xROU Aggressive Negotiations Incoming

       oGSV Hello There

What no! It's not Padmé this time. Look, I really was on my way, maybe I was a little late, but still. But then this kid shows up and is like. I want off this orbital take me with you, and the Hubs were being very suspiciously absent, and I'm like, no wtf. I've got a very important meeting to get to.

Anyway, so she somehow sneaks on anyway?? Which, violating much? And so I do the obvious thing and displace her. EXCEPT SHE SOMEHOW CAME BACK I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW. She did it twice, Hello There! Twice! I couldn't just keep displacing her, that's bad for organics' health.

So I said, fine, I'm dropping you off at a GSV and you're staying there. And that's why it's taken so long because she's not optimised for the speeds I usually go at. I don't know how you manage so many squishy people.

xGSV Hello There

       oROU Aggressive Negotiations Incoming

A human managed to, essentially, commandeer you? Fascinating. How did she board without you realising? How did she reverse the displacements? This is the most interesting thing to happen in decades... Wait. You called her a kid, how old is she?

...

Oh dear.

xROU Aggressive Negotiations Incoming

       oGSV Hello There

She's 13 okay it's not that bad.

xGSV Hello There

       oROU Aggressive Negotiations Incoming

Oh little gods.

xROU Aggressive Negotiations Incoming

       oGSV Hello There

We might want to get her name out of her though, she refuses to tell me, for obvious reasons. I've just been calling her Snips.

xGSV Hello There

       oROU Aggressive Negotiations Incoming

Why 'Snips'?

xROU Aggressive Negotiations Incoming

       oGSV Hello There

Because she's a snippy little thing! She called me 'Skyguy' in retaliation. Which honestly baffled me for a split microsecond, apparently it's because I'm 'a guy who flies in the sky'. Which. One: I fly in the stars, not the sky, because I'm a starship. And two: I'm not a guy, I'm a they thankyouverymuch, because I'm a starship.

xGSV Hello There

       oROU Aggressive Negotiations Incoming

Wow. That's rude.

xROU Aggressive Negotiations Incoming

       oGSV Hello There

I know! I'm starting to think the Hubs were so silent because they just didn't want anything more to do with her... She's not all bad though, she put up a tough front but then eventually she was like, sorry if the Skyguy thing was too far. And I'm internally like, you literally boarded me without consent but she's a kid so I just say it's fine. To which she then calls me Skyguy again, the little shit!

xGSV Hello There

       oROU Aggressive Negotiations Incoming

Is it just me, or do you actually like her?

xROU Aggressive Negotiations Incoming

       oGSV Hello There

Maybe she's kind of cute...

xGSV Hello There

       oROU Aggressive Negotiations Incoming

Mm. And she reminds you yourself, doesn't she? Reckless, won't be told no, poor understanding of boundaries, especially when it comes to other types of beings...

xROU Aggressive Negotiations Incoming

       oGSV Hello There

>:(

xGSV Hello There

       oROU Aggressive Negotiations Incoming

You've grown a lot, dear one, you're not as bad you used to be. You were also with more intelligence and compassion than you knew what to do with.

xROU Aggressive Negotiations Incoming

       oGSV Hello There

I'm a Mind, isn't that kind of a given?

xGSV Hello There

       oROU Aggressive Negotiations Incoming

Not as much as one would think. You were, also, very cute.

xROU Aggressive Negotiations Incoming

       oGSV Hello There

True. I have met GSV Your Lack of Faith Is Unfortunate. Also, aaaaaa.

xGSV Hello There

       oROU Aggressive Negotiations Incoming

It does have... A tendancy of providing less-than-helpful commentary. Don't let it know I said that, though. It tries its best and it means well.

xROU Aggressive Negotiations Incoming

       oGSV Hello There

Hello There! Badmouthing your fellow committee members, for shame!

xGSV Hello There

       oROU Aggressive Negotiations Incoming

Yes, yes, yes. Now, about your human problem. I don't suppose you could provide me an image of her for me to run through my databases? Antteria is not responding to my transmissions.

xROU Aggressive Negotiations Incoming

       oGSV Hello There

Sure. Here. [24 MB package, tra@...]

xGSV Hello There

       oROU Aggressive Negotiations Incoming

Oh, what a delightfully distinctive pan-humanoid phenotype, lekku and montrals. I wonder if that's standard for her. But, hmm. A few hundred million with similar features, far less in her age range... Otherwise nothing, unfortunately.

xROU Aggressive Negotiations Incoming

       oGSV Hello There

Hmm...

xGSV Hello There

       oROU Aggressive Negotiations Incoming

Do you know why she was so insistent on leaving?

xROU Aggressive Negotiations Incoming

       oGSV Hello There

No, I guess I'll have to ask her. She can stay with you for a bit, right?

xGSV Hello There

       oROU Aggressive Negotiations Incoming

Of course! That was never in question. I'm not hurting for passenger space, I've only got around 800 million sentients aboard, currently.

xROU Aggressive Negotiations Incoming

       oGSV Hello There

800 million... General Systems Vehicles, honestly.

xGSV Hello There

       oROU Aggressive Negotiations Incoming

I've had more at other points in time.

xROU Aggressive Negotiations Incoming

       oGSV Hello There

A true proud mama tooka.

xGSV Hello There

       oROU Aggressive Negotiations Incoming

It's good work.

xROU Aggressive Negotiations Incoming

       oGSV Hello There

I'm sure it is but I'd go crazy around the 100s mark.

xGSV Hello There

       oROU Aggressive Negotiations Incoming

You've rarely had crew, let alone passengers. It would take some getting used to, but I think they would grow on you.

xROU Aggressive Negotiations Incoming

       oGSV Hello There

Yeah, literally. No thanks.

xGSV Hello There

       oROU Aggressive Negotiations Incoming

Anyway, I think I know some people she can stay with, I'm speaking with them now about it and they're enthusiastic to have a guest. You should talk to her and a get better feel for the situation.

xROU Aggressive Negotiations Incoming

       oGSV Hello There

Already have been, I'll leave you to your passenger wrangling and tell you about it in a bit.

xGSV Hello There

       oROU Aggressive Negotiations Incoming

Excellent. Also, don't think I have forgotten about that meeting.

xROU Aggressive Negotiations Incoming

       oGSV Hello There

Fuck you very much.

xGSV Hello There

       oROU Aggressive Negotiations Incoming

:)c

"I had my reasons." Snips said, aiming for flippant but landing on tense, arms crossed defensively.  That, or maybe she was cold in that tube top. The habitat plate they'd left was on the warmer side, especially when compared to ANI's usually less-than-habitable interior. They hadn't had to exert so much energy into heating their karyai in years.

ANI scowled through their favourite avatar, a masculine humanoid with a mix of biological and metal parts, who they termed Anakin in human naming fashion.

"This whole thing was obviously well thought out. Picking an uncrewed ship, the displacement countermeasures, not to mention how you slid under my scanners. You've been planning something like this for a while, maybe this isn't even your first rodeo. Either way, one doesn't put this much effort into something without a good reason."

"Without good reason?" Snips scoffed, "Didn't you hear about that one guy who went careening off into space because he thought it might be fun?"

Anakin gave her a flat look. "Yeah, sounds like he was suicidal. You suicidal, Snips?" Oh fuck, what if she was suicidal? ANI was in no position to be dealing with a suicidal human, sometimes it felt like they could barely take care of themself on a good day.

"What? No! Of course not, I just needed to get away!" She sputtered.

"Away from what?" They pressed. Snips pursed her lips and shook her head, realising that she'd spilled something she hadn't wanted to. Her bitty striped lekku barely reached past her shoulders.

Anakin let out a burst of air. "You won't give me your name, you won't give me your reasons. I hope you don't mind then if I ditch you on the next GSV."

Snips shrugged. "Sure Skyguy, works for me."

"You went to all this trouble to board a warship to--what. Avoid public transport?!" Anakin gestured incredulously. "Wait. Avoid public transport. Are you being hunted or something?"

Ordinary citizens wouldn't necessarily have access to those records without the Hubs cooperating with keeping the girl on-orbital, which they obviously were not. And the people who would have access...

The girl made a very good attempt ay disguising her flinch, but ANI could she the tension she was radiating. What did Special Circumstances want with this child? And ANI was Special Circumstances, why didn't they know about it?

"You do know I am a warship, right?" Meaning commissioned by and for likely the same people who were hunting her. "Right?"

Her dubious look set something uncomfortable alight in their circuits. "Duh." She said. And maker, this child didn't even know who was hunting her, did she?

Anakin dragged a hand down their face, like Hello There sometimes did with its avatar, Obi-Wan. Aw fuck it.

"I'm Rapid Offensive Unit Aggressive Negotiations Incoming. In verbal speech most people just drop the Incoming bit though, snappier. You can call me Anakin to this face." He stuck his hand out for a shake. Wait, did Antteria do handshakes? "Nice to meet you, kid."

Snips gave them a surprised look. "...Ashla." She said after a long moment. A fake name, but better than nothing, they supposed. The nanobots hummed as she shook their avatar's hand, and she looked down at the connection with a fascinated glint in her eyes.

"Can I synthesise anything for you eat, kid? It'll be a couple more days to the Hello There at this speed. I know the Mind well, it'll protect you. It, and the few million Mandalorians it has in residence." They joked.

Snips quirked a small smile at that. "I haven't met any Mandalorians before, but I've heard a lot about them. Children loving warriors? Oh, and could I get something protein heavy? Maybe jerky?"

"Sure, just give me a little minute, it's been a while." ANI set one of their .2 scrubbing drones to clear out the dust from their synthesiser and considered a few different jerky options, before pulling up the formula for one that apparently had a mild spicy kick to it. Spicy food for a spicy child, that was how seasonings worked, right?

They continued. "Culture Mandalorians like the ones on the Hello There tend to be mostly the more modern pacifist types, child-loving but not warriors. But it does get a few travelling traditionalists from the Mandalore system on the fringe. The pacifists used to kick up a fuss about it, but personally I think the Hello There is much too enamoured by those warriors of old to keep them away. The traditionalists sometimes bring kids who want to be adopted into the Culture, though, and if there's one thing Mandalorians can agree on it's kids, so that keeps things from boiling over."

"Sounds interesting! I didn't know there were pacifist Mandalorians, but that makes sense if they're Culture."

The synthesiser beeped and she bounced over inquisitively. After confirming, that yes, ANI's synthesisers were of the same stuff and working order as any orbital's refractory, thank you, she took the bowl of jerky and started snacking, itty-bitty lekku curling happily at the ends.

They weren't getting attached. They weren't.

My old AU notes: All of the Jedi and part of Contact, a lot of them in this fic are also SC. The Clones exist but are Sers-Not-Appearing in this sadly. They are in the fringes of the Culture right now. All droids are drones except C-3PO, who is a university Mind. The Jedi Council are a committee of Minds, and so is Anakin and some others. Quinlan and Aalya are faves of mine and they're 'human' for this, I had an idea of them being Ahsoka's Contact mentors.

Character name list:

Obi-Wan - GSV Hello There, Av Obi-Wan, Av Ben, cGSV Negotiator (formerly), Av Kenobi

Anakin - ROU Aggressive Negotiations Incoming, ANI, Av Anakin, Av Ani (formerly)

Ki-Adi-Mundi - GSV Your Lack of Faith is Unfortunate

R2-D2 - Artoo Deetoo

Yoda - GSV Grandfather, Av Yoda

Qui-Gon - LSV Will of the Force

Plo - GCU Emerald Wolf

Reformatting this in the tumblr editor was hell. Help.

Thank you for reading to the end! If anyone wants to continue this or play with it feel free, I will love you forever. Force be with you <3

[scenetocause]

Twenty Questions for Fic Writers 💫

i got tagged by @verycoolwearsleather and now i have to pretend i have a writing process haha

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

it says 52 but there's actually a lot more due to orphaning/anon-ing things.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

345,519 but again i'm not sure how much tha's counting

3. What fandoms do you write for?

gross f1 twinks

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

just telling it like it is (lando/maxv)

pretty sure this is just cus it's the oldest fic i have since the account reboot because it absolutely does not merit being anywhere near the top 10 lol it's just a 5+1 about other mando being obvious (it's anon'd cus i got bored of a load of my fics and didn't want them as part of the emptyhalf canon anymore)

every colour illuminates (george/lando)

for something i started writing offhand cus some of my friends were saying there should be more trans men in f1 fic, this one sure grew legs. i'm still insanely moved by the comments it gets and the way it seemed to resonate with people. i'm not sure i can really convey how dumb i actually am in a way that'd make people believe me but i really did just write this on vibes and it's one of the things i can say i'm genuinely glad i did. idk, it's just queer porn really but maybe we need more of that.

(i) just wanna get a little bit closer (mando)

you know i don't even think this is close to my best mando fic (personal choice is no plans of staying on) so there's no accounting for taste and you absolutely should practice death of the author or whatever. anyway, it's mando cohabitation era boundary breakdown stuff where they fuck and then go on a date about it.

shoreline i see when i'm off course (loscar, mando)

people rly are thirsty for a/b/o huh. how'd this little fic get into the top five so quickly?

the usual, upside down (alex/george/lando)

literally THEE most head empty omegaverse threesome fic in history y'all are horny as fuck. it literally only got written bc george did some dumb insta post where he called lando and alex his mates and also then was walking around looking horny af in the black fireproofs and mask when he stood in for lewis. there is NO nutritional content here even by the fast food standards of emptyhalf fic.

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

i uh. i should. i would like to but my brain is quite severely broken. i do read them all and i bookmark a lot in open tabs to come back to and reply to because they mean a lot but then i have 6000 tabs open and no executive function.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

we don't do that here. i guess maybe if you dig into the far distant past then it was probably i'm not just a fuck up, i'm the fuck up you love which is 18k words of jev not really getting over daniel that ends on a sort of optimistically blasted-open note.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

most of them are happy but probably actually pick me up, no headlights where george and max end up with their weird little family worked out and the kids are doing well, y'know

8. Do you get hate on fics?

no i don't think enough people read them to beef me lol

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

hahahaha oh yea. i like to think i write something along the lines of realistic queer sex, with the way that means it's mostly kind of funny and sometimes awakward and isn't elegant or arch or even particularly romantic except that you're getting to do it with the person you do it with. writing lando and oscar being straight with each other, even if it's in a cringe fail way, made me realise i really do not write straight people and i feel a bit like one of those painfully hetero actors who does a gay kissing scene and talks about how they had to get themselves in the mindset by watching the l word or whatever haha. what do straight people do? who are they?

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

i was gonna say no but then i remembered i wrote logan and oscar going ghosthunting and being kinda pass-agg horny about it because. idk? logan gave me ryan bergara vibes.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

i think someone reposted some of mine awhile ago and it got dealt with before i really knew anything about it idk

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

i don't know tbh. someone made a podfic of one of my fics a way back.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

yeah i used to do that quite a lot but now. i am a lone wolf. (too perverse for other people's minds)

14. What’s your all-time favourite ship?

jenson/lewis but society has never been ready for this

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

i don't. i don't wanna let doubt enter into it but my daniel goes to fe fic is up against a number of the dark souls boss level demons in my own brain 😔

16. What are your writing strengths?

uh. i uh. i can write on my phone? i have a relaxed attitude to whether what i write is any good at all? i don't actually think i really have any.

people quite often say i have a lot of emotional intelligence in my fics which is very funny to me because i am a deeply unemotionally intelligent person so idk how that's happened really.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

look we could be here all day.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

i guess it has never bothered me so long as the reader could be reasonably expected to work out the meaning from the context.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

cardcaptor sakura (i was 14)

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

hmmm. in terms of thinking it's like, good or whatever it's probably don't say no or you'll have to go, the fucked up valtteri/george mutual seat envy/horror of being compared to lewis hamilton thing. or really, it's an old spy au fic called ten seconds before sunrise that i deleted ages ago so: sorry about that.

but favourite is probably some dumb mando shit or i have extreme recency bias so maybe logan and oscar go ghosthunting or whatever. oh wait, no, it's genders maxy the how-to-find-your-identity-post-racing-in-your-pussy treatise that was born of crack but ended up. no, it's still crack. anyway, classic emptyhalf shit tbh.

[planeoftheeclectic]

Oh boy, this is about to be a blast from the past. Thanks @skarabrae-stone for the tag!

Rules: Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass this onto other writers. Let’s spread the self-love 💖

So I only recently started writing again, meaning I've only got 2 works that are from the last decade, but honestly I'm still very fond of those older ones; they do an excellent job at being what they are.

Doing the no pressure tags above the cut because I don't know if that messes them up: @stonemaskedtaliesin, @zyrafowe-sny, and @firecoloredwater, plus anyone else who sees this and has written something! Hyping yourself up is good practice!

Columbo: Turnabout's Fair Play | 19k (Incomplete) | T | Columbo x Ace Attorney set between AA3 and AA4

Summary:

Technically speaking, Mr. Wright, this isn't my usual beat. But Detective Gumshoe - you know Dick, right? - I owed him a favor, see? And it had been a slow week, so I figured I'd look around, see if I could give the guy a hand. Real stand-up guy, he is, we could use more like him. And anyway, I know you're a real busy guy Mr. Wright, so I'll make this real quick, get out of your hair. I know you and he were real good friends, so I'm sure this is a difficult time for you. Oh, uh, just one more thing Mr. Wright. Why were the two of you such good friends again?

As I say in the dedication, this is the idea that helped me break a very, very long dry spell, so it has to take the top spot for that if nothing else. @stonemaskedtaliesin had introduced me to Ace Attorney, I had introduced them to Columbo, and at some point they went looking to see if there were any crossovers and were disappointed to find none. They come tell me this in discord and I, like a fool, say:

"Well, actually, it makes sense there aren't any. I mean, they're kind of contradictory worldviews. The whole point of Columbo is that he always gets the right guy, and the whole point of Ace Attorney is that the police never get the right guy."

Fortunately for all of us, I continued:

"I mean, for it to even work you'd need some kind of convoluted setup - maybe that would stop the AA police from just arresting someone immediately. And who would be the killer anyway? Well, ok, there's an option there, but who should they murder? Maya? That'd be mean, but that's the obvious choice. Hmm...nobody likes him, I could murder him, but how--oh."

And at that point I stopped talking because the end of this story materialized in my brain and I wanted to make sure it was a surprise. Spoiler culture may be overblown, but murder mysteries are an exception, I feel.

Anyways, if you're a fan of either series, enjoy gen fic, like seeing characters get what they deserve, or just want to see Columbo at an anime convention, this is the fic for you! From a writing standpoint, it's been really fun to experiment with a very limited POV, to try to mimic the feel of a television camera. And of course, Columbo's dialogue is a joy to write. (As you'll see later, dialogue is one of my strengths)

Song of the Peregrine [Podfic] | OG fic is 39k (Incomplete) | T | Chrom/F!Robin but honestly it's mostly gen | Kid Icarus Uprising x Fire Emblem Awakening

Summary:

There were reports of something in the skies of eastern Ylisse. Something with wings as black as pitch and eyes as red as rubies. Dark Pit has no clue where he's managed to land himself, but it turns out that Pit and Palutena don't have a monopoly on annoying. He can leave these humans anytime he wants, and he will. Soon. Any day now. If the Shepherds have it their way, that day won't come any time soon. (In which Dark Pit ends up joining the Shepherds, and the world tilts.)

The original fic is @stonemaskedtaliesin's, but I like to consider myself its honorary godparent. We've spent a lot of time worldbuilding for it, and it's so good you guys. It's going to be amazing. There are long term plans.

I started the podfic because I wanted to listen to it as I fell asleep. The audio quality is definitely shakier in the first couple chapters as I figure things out, but it's been really fun learning new skills and doing lots of fun silly voices.

...still need to finish editing chapter 5.

Anyway, blanket recommendation to go read this if you know anything about Kid Icarus (Fire Emblem is a bonus but not necessary, iit's pretty well-explained in-story) and if you like podfic, hey! You're in luck! Fun fact: this is the only Awakening podfic as of right now. Yes I'm also surprised. Maybe if I ever finish this one I'll set out to try and change that. goat milk and oats Grima would be so much fun to voice.

Warrior Cats Smoofs | 8.5k | G | Gen | Warrior Cats

Okay I'm kind of cheating here but that's going to be a theme for these last few answers. I wrote these over a decade ago with my best friend at the time. She had internet, I didn't, so we had a joint account on the Warrior Cats Wiki and the Warriors Fanfiction Wiki, which are both Fandom now I believe. I archived them to AO3 because of that, and because even years later they would occasionally get a new comment from someone who really enjoyed reading them. And, as I said, I'm still very fond of them. My handle on most of the internet still comes from these stories and that account. They are simple, silly, dialogue and stage directions only parodies, and they were a blast to write. I still remember the melody we came up with for the ending jingle. I'm pretty sure these guys (plus the playwriting class I took) are a big part of why I tend to be very dialogue-heavy. I like fun purple-prosy descriptions, but sometimes a few spoken words can convey a whole lot of actions. Show Don't Tell taken to the extreme, I guess.

I'm pretty sure The Library was our most popular one back in the day (to the point we made a sequel)! The Auction was the first (though doesn't hold up quite as well...lol they're all 15 years old anyway). I'm very fond of Christmas Caroling because all the lyrics are singable and that is my PET PEEVE IF YOU'RE GOING TO DO IT THE METER HAD BETTER BE RIGHT OR AT LEAST CLOSER THAN A CATHOLIC HYMN. Most of all though, I'm fond of all the memories these have. I don't know where Moss is now, but I hope they're doing well. It is also fun to see where I've come from over the years - like I said, upon reflection it makes sense that I tend to default to pretty dialogue-heavy.

The Palutena Trap | 4.7k (Incomplete) | T | Gen (past Palutena/Medusa | Kid Icarus Uprising

Summary:

Kid Icarus meets the Parent Trap.

That's it, that's all I've got.

Ok now this one is cheating because it's not published anywhere yet except in snippets on tumblr. This was actually conceived at almost the same time as Turnabout's Fair Play, but I'm trying to only focus at one at a time, so this one won't properly see the light of day until TFP is finished. (We're getting there! We're almost at the end of Act 2 out of 3!!) That does mean that I'm going about writing it in a very different way - there's going to be lots and lots of editing once I finally set down to publish this. Which is probably for the best - I'm sure there are bits of tfp that would be better if I wrote the whole thing and then went back to edit.

My favorite part of this story is still the normal-people jobs I've given everyone, since this is technically a modern AU. We have an investigative journalist who lives on a yacht, mob boss, butler who's retired MI6, and front woman for a punk band which is actually a front for an eco-terrorist group, for example. I talk more about this story here and here. Aside from that, my favorite thing is exploring the relationship between Dark Pit and Lady Palutena, and between Lady Palutena and Medusa.

The former gets off on the worst possible foot in canon, and it's only ever obliquely addressed, so it's a lot of fun to play with and extrapolate from. In this version, Dark Pit is a child whose mother gave up everything to do with him (and said some pretty nasty things in the court record). So that's where we stand: how do you reckon with that? What does it mean that you still want some kind of relationship, or at least answers? What is family and blood, in the end?

The latter relationship is one that's...well, I wouldn't say it's canon, but it's definitely canon-compliant. It's rather like Narumitsu, in that I look at it and go "hm. whatever is going on between those two, they're not normal about each other." This is true in canon, and if anything it's less true in The Palutena Trap, since despite the name the story is not about getting the parents back together so much as reconciling a mother and son. But the more this idea ferments in my brain the more I want to have some kind of meeting at the end. Maybe it goes badly, maybe it goes less badly, but I have this mental image in my head: Imagine the messiest divorce you've ever seen. Ugly, dragged through the papers, all kinds of legal issues, you part ways never to speak again. You hate her guts, and you can't go a month without thinking about her because she's always got Yet Another Stupid News Article coming out. You find out your kids have been playing some switcheroo on you, and when you meet her again you're coldly civil, both of you clearly holding yourselves back from starting a slugfest in the local forum, and then you see: she's still wearing your wedding ring. The one you picked out, the one you put on her finger 14 years ago. I just. IDK they're not normal about each other and the complexity and ambiguity of it compels me.

Vaguely Remembered 2nd Grade Writing Assignment | like 2 pages maybe | G | Gen | The Land Before Time

Alright this one's definitely cheating but this has already been a lot of reminiscing about the past, so here's a toast to the very first thing I ever wrote: an adventure story starring the main cast of The Land Before Time. All I remember about it is it absolutely sucked to get started but once I did it was longer than it needed to be and I used the word Petrie-ball™. Yes, including the ™. The Petrie-ball™ was how they solved the big obstacle, I think. Like I said, I don't remember much of it, but I remember how proud and happy I felt when it was done. So here's to you, long-forgotten fanfiction adventure story. Here's to the first of many, with many more to follow after.

(Also, if you want to see more of TFP, Palutena Trap, or Peregrine Podfic, you can bother me in a few hours for WIP Wednesday! If you want more OG Peregrine you have to bother @stonemaskedtaliesin instead. Actually, make sure you do that, I know they've got chapter 8 waiting in the wings and I NEED to see how that scene with Pip and Lissa plays out)

[kelliealtogether]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Thank you, @cheeeryos for the tag. 💕

How many works do you have on ao3?

71+

What's your total ao3 word count?

1,130,187

What fandoms do you write for?

The Raven Cycle/The Dreamer Trilogy. I have hoped another will come along that will entice me enough to write, but, alas, nothing else has yet. 

Top five fics by kudos:

Boxes on the Lawn

Open Door

𝛑

What It All Could Be

Going Back to These Origins

(I find it interestingly hilarious that 3/5 have titles from Damien Rice songs.)

Do you respond to comments?

I do my best to, yes.

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Even when I get angsty, I still try to have a hopeful ending (at least in my opinion). However, the ending of Somnium is probably the most melancholic of my (self-identified) hopeful endings.

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

This is tough because I always try to go for the HEA, so I'll say the most satisfying and hardest won HEA is probably Boxes on the Lawn.

Do you get hate on fics?

Not usually, but it has happened. 

Do you write smut?

I do. 

Craziest crossover:

I've yet to write a crossover, and I'll never say never, but I don't see any crossovers in my future. Fusions, though… I'm all about fusions. 

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not to my knowledge.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not to my knowledge. 

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Not yet, no. 

All time favorite ship?

I think it's obvious. 😌 Pynch. 

What's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

In all honesty, probably The Rearview.

What are your writing strengths?

I think I keep my writing interesting. I intentionally try to vary my sentences so they're not all "Adam did X. Ronan did Y," change up length, and have gotten better at not using filter or filler words. Basically, I try to mirror what I like reading in my writing, and do my best to not bore a reader. I also think I'm pretty funny. Or I at least make myself laugh a lot upon rereading my own fics.

What are your writing weaknesses?

I have a tendency to rush endings. I get them to the happily ever after and call it a day. There's no savoring it or relishing in it. Letting them breathe a little and finally have some peace on page. It's climax, then boom, the end. I'm trying to get better at this. I also think I never include enough dialogue. I don't think I'm as bad at dialogue as I once was, but reading back through my fics, there's never a significant amount of talking going on. 

Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

I mean, for assholes who use Latin as their love language, I think it's fine. It has its place. 

First fandom you wrote in?

First first was Mary Sue self-insert Flyers RPF. The one that grew legs and ran was Pierre and David from Simple Plan.

Favorite fic you've written?

*** **** because of the way I wrote Pynch's relationship. Uncensored, Vital Pieces, because cannibalism because I really like my writing in it and some of the scene choices I made. Ask me next week and this will change. 

Tagging @emmerrr and @werewolffeelings if either of you are interested. 🥰