#idk I’ve never seen anyone point this out so I gotta do it myself

[thatrandomartistjavi]

I know that most people when drawing the Cheshires in cat form or more cat like that people color them as purple which makes sense cause that’s their main color BUT

I wanna point out that anytime we see ears depicted on Kitty, that they’re always black. The only exception is the Thronecoming outfit due to him using his hair to create ears but like

Kinda the same with Cheshire tho his older self has ears that can look grey depending on the scene

Which to me means that if they were cats, that they would be black cats

[aroaceconfessions]

as an alloace i have so many doubts if i’m actually ace or have i just not met anyone attractive enough because i live in a small ass town. and i’ve always said that i don’t care about looks at all and personality is all that matters and while it’s still primarily true i’ve found myself caring about a person’s looks sometimes, especially style and how they present themselves. and i hate it, especially because i’m ace and in a way that should mean that i don’t “judge” people that way because what is one’s attractiveness gonna do for me? (mostly) nothing. but i feel like because i’m (most likely) alloromantic and can experience aesthetic attraction people’s looks still matter, in some kind of way. i mean, if i like someone’s personality they “become” beautiful just because of that. but when you just meet someone you can’t know their personality right off the bat so you gotta look at something and that for me is most of the time their style and aesthetic. i know, you can’t know a person from just their outer appearance, but when you meet someone, whether you like it or not, you will have a first impression that will or will not be changed by time of getting to know them. a lot of people have told me that i scared/intimidated them at first glance even before i started doing dark make-up and dressing up more goth-ish (but like i take that as a compliment, idk why people fearing me makes me feel good). i’m rambling, but my point was that if i acknowledge the fact that appearance does matter (in whatever way), could that mean that i’ve just not found anyone attractive enough to want to have sex with? i mean, i’ve seen attractive celebrities/characters, but never got any strong feelings for them (not even for wanting to date, still baffling to me that there are people who want to date celebrities). but celebrities/characters are not people i can be friends with or meet in real life. i’m pretty confident in my asexuality, but that doesn’t mean i don’t doubt myself every now and then. i’ve reassured myself many times that it doesn’t matter if my sexuality changes or not, it’s all good and natural. i’m not out, but i am proud, even if i doubt (that rhymed).

[maddieladner1999]

Bad Idea Right?

This version is fully in EJ’s POV and is a continuation of after the last one I wrote. I’m going to do Ricky’s POV of this tomorrow. I decided to make it in 2 stories POV so that you can read the whole story here but get the gaps between from Ricky’s POV. I will definitely be doing the conversation with the wildcats and Ricky’s parents as a part of it

After the night with Ricky, EJ was nervous to go to the show. He knows Ricky will tell everyone but he still worries about him. After texting for a few days, EJ FaceTime Ricky one night surprising him.

Ricky: it’s the night before the show

EJ: I know but I wanted to see your face.

Ricky: aw miss me already. It’s only been like a week

EJ: yeah and I had a question for you

Ricky: and what’s that?

EJ: have you told everyone in the drama club about us?

Ricky: yes. Carlos was confused and thinks his gaydar is broken because even though I may have been obvious with my obsession with you, you weren’t as obvious

EJ: ok good. What about your parents?

Ricky: no I haven’t. My dad isn’t always home sometimes he’s out so I guess I forgot about it and that’s not the kind of conversation I wanna have with my mom over phone

EJ: well you should tell your dad soon. I wanna be able to kiss my boyfriend tomorrow night and that may make it a little weird. Or awkward.

Ricky: ok. I will. My moms flying in Tomorrow for the show so I’ll pick her up and we can talk on the car ride from the airport.

EJ: sounds good. Well good night

Ricky: good night.

The next day EJ gets up early to take care of a few things before heading to salt lake. He asked Ashlyn already if he could stay since he isn’t on speaking terms with his father and she of course said yes. She also asked about Ricky. That was a fun conversation. She also asked him about the tree at shallow lake already. It’s one of his errands to do.

*2 days earlier*

EJ: hey ash can I stay over after the play. I don’t wanna drive back late and it’s a long drive.

Ashlyn: of course. But you know I gotta ask. Ricky?

EJ: what about him? He told everyone right?

Ashlyn: yes he did. I’ve never seen Carlos so confused and it had me thinking. You’re my cousin and I didn’t even see it coming having known you forever. Why didn’t you tell me?

EJ: idk. I guess I thought well the boy I like doesn’t like me so what’s the point? Besides after all this time I realized just another thing we have in common.

Ashlyn: what’s that

EJ: I’m bi to ash.

Ashlyn: well I’m glad you’re telling me know I guess. So when did you realize you like Ricky?

EJ: after the screening. I was so mad I thought I’d slap him but I couldn’t. I didn’t know why. After about a week of rehashing the summer in my head I figured it out. I wasn’t jealous of Ricky when he wanted my girlfriends, I just wanted him myself.

Ashlyn: well don’t bottle up next time, you can always come to me.

EJ: I know. I just after everything with my dad I guess I got scared. I got pretty busy with my school, extracurricular activities, and 4 jobs that I kinda forgot about him. But then she shows up and the floodgate opening and everything came back. It hit me so fast I didn’t know what hit me. When he told me he liked me I was shocked I mean there’s no way that Ricky Bowen could have feelings for me. But he did. He called and talked to Gina and they broke up. I made him stay the night because of the weather. I knew he could handle the drive but I couldn’t let him go out there in that weather. I also just wanted him around a bit longer.

Ashlyn: wow. Idk what to say. You really care about him

EJ: more than anyone will ever understand too. I love him ash. He’s my person. I’m tired of getting it wrong but god last night felt so good

Ashlyn: I’m assuming you did more than sleep?

EJ: yeah I didn’t think you needed to hear that part.

Ashlyn: good call. Anyway see you Saturday.

EJ: of course. Bye.

EJ hung up the phone and went back to his homework. He was just taking a break but that call lasted longer than he thought it would.

*Saturday*

After doing a few necessary errands, EJ packed a small bag and was on his way to Salt Lake. It was an hour drive so he had some time in his thoughts. He knew they were doing HSM 3 so he put on the soundtrack. When he gets to Ashlyn’s place he’s immediately greeted by Ashlyn.

Ashlyn: hey you’re earlier than I thought you’d be.

EJ: yeah I couldn’t sleep so I got up early to take care of my errands.

Ashlyn: well I got the guest room ready for you of course.

EJ: good. Thanks for this. I don’t know if I could face my dad right now.

Ashlyn: still not speaking to him?

EJ: no. I try to call but I just can’t find the words. And he never reaches out to me so you know why push.

Ashlyn: well you’ll always have me.

EJ: I know.

Ashlyn: so did you track down the thing?

EJ: yes. He’s coming with it tonight.

Ashlyn: good. I can’t wait to tell Maddox.

EJ: so I guess I’ll see you tonight

Ashlyn: where are you going?

EJ: I know I have 2 hours but I can’t just sit around besides I wanna look perfect for my man

Ashlyn: ok well then see you tonight

EJ goes to get ready. He’s brought a black suit that’s casual enough to not look like he’s going to prom but fancy enough to make him look good. He borrows the iron to get out the wrinkles his bag gave it. After about 20 minutes of making sure it’s perfect he hangs it up and gets in the shower. He spends way too long in there but having lived in a dorm these last few months it’s nice to be able to take a shower without rushing. He brought his toiletries so he’d smell like himself. He knew Ricky liked it. He spends the rest of his time after his shower styling his hair. He hasn’t coifed it in so long he almost forgot how. But finally he gets it to look how he wants and sees it’s almost time to go. He gets dressed and meets his aunt and uncle downstairs. They decide to ride together to the school.

Once EJ arrives he immediately goes to their backstage area. It’s the same as it was for HSM because they’re doing the play in the gym due to something the Quinn chick is doing in the theatre. He walks in announcing his presence in order to wish everyone look and heads for Ricky.

EJ: hello everyone I’ve come to wish you all luck so break a leg. Hi Ricky.

Ricky: hi EJ. You’re here.

EJ: I said I would be. I couldn’t miss your opening night. *EJ kisses Ricky*

Carlos: ok you too have always bickered like an old couple how did I not see it coming?

Seb: because you were blinded by your own love.

Carlos: aww sebby you’re so sweet.

Kourtney: alright lover boy no more kissing. I can’t have you ruining his makeup.

EJ: sorry. I should go find my seat. See you all after the show?

Ricky: I’ll see you during intermission.

EJ: ok then. See you then.

The first act went great. It’s probably the best a show has ever gone for the wildcats in a few years. When intermission came he went to find Ricky. It was easy since they all hang out in the same spot. Ricky drags him out of the room and down the hallway to an empty classroom

Ricky: I told my parents.

EJ: oh yeah and what did they think?

Ricky: they were surprised. But the conversation with my dad gave me some clarity.

EJ: and what might that be?

Ricky: why it never worked out with nini and just couldn’t quite work with Gina. I thought I had to be with them but truthfully I didn’t care until I saw them with you. I loved them yes but not like I should. I thought I wanted to be with you but I really deep down just wanted you. I’m gay.

EJ: wow. Well I’m proud of you for figuring that out.

Ricky: thanks. And hey what about you?

EJ: I’ve known of my feelings for you for a while. I realized though that I did love nini and Gina. I can’t change the past but it’s true. It’s in the past now anyway. I have you now. As for my orientation. It’s bi.

Ricky: well that’s good to know. I don’t have long before I have to get back

EJ: *looks at his watch* you have 5 minutes before you have to though.

Ricky: we’ll let’s not ruin my makeup too bad then

EJ pushes so forcefully into Ricky kissing him he pushes him up against a wall. Ricky starts putting his hands in my hair and I love every second of it. But I took a good while styling it so I stop for a second.

EJ: what are you doing with my hair

Ricky: I hate it like this. It reminds me of the you I used to fight with. I liked it this summer albeit it may have been a little long. I liked it that night in your dorm. It was messy. I like it messy.

EJ: ok then I guess I’ll let you ruin all my hard work to look good for you.

Ricky: well you should’ve known better than to style it like that.

EJ: I wasn’t being sarcastic. Go ahead. As long as I get those last few minutes to kiss you.

Ricky: you better.

EJ starts kissing Ricky again and Ricky gets back to ruining EJ’s hair. After a few minutes EJ tells him it’s time to go back.

Ricky: you should definitely take a good look at your hair. It’s exactly how I like it now. It’s kinda sexy.

EJ: you think I’m sexy?

Ricky: oh yeah. Those chest hairs help too.

EJ: cmon. It’s time for you to get ready for act 2.

When EJ and Ricky arrive at the backstage room everyone is in a frenzy. Maddox ruined the portable soundboard so now they have to use a manual one. Mr. Mazzara can work the manual one but he can’t play coach Bolton if he does so they ask EJ if he will. He finds it weird to do the play as he would be playing his boyfriends dad. He remembers that big red helped out with the soundboard during HSM and knows that he isn’t in the play this year so he has a good idea

EJ: wait big red isn’t in the play. He knows the soundboard he can do it during your coach Bolton scenes.

Mr. Mazzara: oh yeah good idea. Let’s do that.

EJ goes to find big red and lets him know the plan. Big red is happy to help of course and joins him in the gym backstage. They find Mr mazzara and big red gets the low down. EJ decides to find his seat now that his job is done.

After the play ends the wildcat gang goes to the auditorium to support Gina with the announcement. She manages to get the movie to be filmed here in Utah so she can fulfill her senior year here. Once all the reporters leave the gang hangs back for a while just talking. Miss jenn and Mr mazzara have finally realized their feelings and no one knows what to do now.

Big red: so what happens now?

Ricky: I have an idea.

They take the limo left for Gina to the nearest Denny’s in true theatre kid fashion. EJ knows the idea came from nini. Who else would’ve told Ricky. They hadn’t done that since he joined the club. He’s not mad or even jealous cause he knows Ricky is his now. They have the limo drive them back to the school since most of them drove to the school. EJ gets a ride from big red since he didn’t have his car and asks if he’ll drop him off at Ricky’s. He knows Ricky can drive him back to Ashlyn’s after. He has some parents to meet.

EJ knocks on Ricky’s door and it’s answered by Ricky’s dad. Mr. Bowen is surprised to see him and asks if he’s looking for Ricky. EJ says yes and comes inside waiting for me Bowen to return with Ricky. When Ricky shows up he notices that he has changed out of his previous outfit and into pajamas that he kinda wants to steal.

Ricky: what are you doing here?

EJ: I thought I’d come meet you’re parents

Ricky: yeah? That’s pretty quick

EJ: well your mom primarily lives in Chicago so idk when I’ll get another chance for that.

Ricky: that’s true. Let me go get her. Dads on the couch.

EJ moves to the living room and joins mr. Bowen. Ricky comes out with his mom and she’s visibly confused.

Lynne: who is this Ricky?

Ricky: mom, dad, this is EJ my boyfriend

Lynne: oh it’s so nice to meet you! Ricky and I had a nice long car ride chat about you.

Mr. Bowen: it’s nice to meet you son.

EJ realizes he never really knew Ricky’s dad or even met him before.

EJ: your son means a lot to me. It’ll be hard for us with me in college and him here in high school but I’m willing to work. And if he works hard at school next semester and gets in he’ll join me next fall.

Mr. Bowen: well it seems you have got it all planned out.

Lynne: yes. And Ricky I hope you’ll visit me in Chicago next summer. You can bring EJ too.

Ricky: I will after another year of camp at shallow lake.

EJ: you’re going back?

Ricky: yeah. Will you join me?

EJ: of course. And then I’ll come to Chicago with you as well

Ricky: well it looks like our summer plans are made too

Lynne: well I look forward to it then. I’m going to bed. Good night everyone.

Mr. Bowen: I think I’ll go too. Good night.

EJ: good night. Nice to meet you both again

Mr. Bowen and Lynne head in 2 different directions and go to bed. Ricky stays behind.

EJ: well I actually got a ride here from big red so I was wondering if you’d give me a ride to Ashlyn’s

Ricky: of course let me get the keys

Ricky drives EJ to Ashlyn’s and turns off the car for a second

Ricky: so you gonna send me your schedule next semester so I can find out good times to FaceTime?

EJ: of course. I’ll always find time for my baby.

Ricky: I love it when you say that.

EJ: you know I was thinking of growing out my hair again.

Ricky: yeah? But not too long. Honestly it’s already almost at the perfect length.

EJ: well I guess you have an idea already of how I’m going to keep my hair.

Ricky: yep. Well you should get going. I should head back home.

EJ: yeah. Text me when you get home?

Ricky: of course. Love you

Ricky texts him within the next 10 minutes as Ashlyn doesn’t live very far. EJ texts back good night and Ricky follows with the same. EJ is excited to see what happens now.

The end

[decaffeinatedparadisemaker]

2022 Year in Review

 Tagged by @kitausuret hiiiii kita <3

1. Number of stories posted to AO3: 8, 2 of which are in-progress

2. Word count this year: 81,374

3. Fandoms I wrote for: MCU, Spider-Man (comics, Webb, Raimi), Spider-Gwen

4. Pairings: Peggy Carter/Steve Rogers, Peter Parker/Gwen Stacy, Peter Parker/Michelle Jones, Michelle Jones/Gwen Stacy, Jian Mei/Peter Parker

5. Stories with the most...  Kudos: Long Road Home - 24 Bookmarks: Long Road Home - 3 Comment Threads: Long Road Home - 15 Complicate Me, Elevate Me (Symbiot3) - 8 Word Count: Long Road Home - 38,375

6. Work I'm most proud of... Amazing Jian Mei, hands down, no contest. I have never seen any take on a Chinese MJ Watson, or an Asian MJ Watson outside of Meera Jain, who hasn’t had a lot of page time and has had zero screen time (a travesty). So, I rolled up my sleeves and tackled it myself, and I’m doing my absolute best to represent Chinese and Asian culture and traditions and everything and still make her MJ Watson, and y’know what? I kinda like what I’ve done. And her story is just beginning! Please please please I am begging you please read it and comment and recomm to others; I really really really want more people to understand appreciate Chinese culture outside of the usual food

7. Work I'm least proud of: Probably Unfamiliar & Unknown, but only because I’m stuck tbh hahaha

8. A favorite review I received: Honestly, anytime I see a comment on Amazing Jian Mei I die of love, but if I had to pick a few (no way can I just pick one):

@weoffendedshadows ‘s comment on Chapter 1:

As promised - there is something amazing about seeing a character whom I have built up an image in my mind, of how they look, act, and just generally exist, and then is challenged so thoroughly and deeply that i can't help but look and see the same character in a new light. This is MJ, the same one I've been reading for years now, and I am loving how that same personality shows up here.

I also love the importance of culture within this story, how MJ struggles with the new world she finds herself in, while holding onto what is herself. I'm looking forward to seeing Peter here.

- Honestly after I had posted the first chapter I was so petrified that people would hate the idea of a Chinese MJ Watson, and to see this comment gave me so much encouragement and justified my decision to put this out. Because writing AJM isn’t pulled out from nowhere; I’m ethnically Chinese myself, and almost everything culture-specific is something I either experienced myself or something that I personally know has.

Em jeet ‘s comment on Chapter 6:

Oooh MJ got a lil spicy in this chapter! I adore the way you write her btw. She’s so perfectly wonderfully in character while also being Chinese. Idk, it’s just nice to see you let her be both, because some people can only manage one or the other.

Good lord, but the tension building (in her head) between her and Peter is fantastic. I hope to get a confession— Spider-Man or otherwise— at some point

- Em has been one of my more consistent commentators, but if I had to pick one this is it. The balance between being Chinese and being recognizably MJ Watson is, well, something I had dearly hoped I hit, and to see someone recognize my efforts? No words

@kitausuret ‘s comment on Chapter 7:

WHEW finally I made it to the last of the updates!

Oh! I forgot to mention earlier I think it's interesting that Liz is a journalist in your universe! I wonder if she's ever worked with Betty, or Robbie, or anyone kind of adjacent to the Bugle fam like Ben Urich. Fascinating stuff!

I like the conversation between May and Mei, it's so good. May knowing Peter's secret identity is also kind of a neat development here, but at least it sounds like here she didn't discover her nephew was Spider-Man because he was collapsed half-dead in her home. Little things~!

Aaaaaand of course, gotta love that little bit of tension between Peter and Mei. It's fate. ;)

Oh, one more thing: what inspired you to have Mei pursue medicine, out of curiosity? I really liked in 616 how MJ started pursuing a psychology degree so that's what I immediately thought of, but I love learning where people pull inspiration from. 💖

- @kitausuret is completely unhinged because of Mei, but this comment dug deeply to me, because she picked up something so important - the medicine thing, which is an important cultural discussion. I am so, so, so glad she picked up on how important this was to me <3

9. A time when writing was really, really hard: It generally is hard because I think the fandom is dry right now, but two periods in particular tested me: the first is right now with regard specifically to Unfamiliar and Unknown, simply because I find writing a Far From Home adaptation Very Hard. The second was when I was writing that certain scene in Chapter 3 of Amazing Jian Mei - you’ll understand what scene I refer to if/when you read it (although I will not judge you if you wish to skip it), but I literally cried while writing it and was crying myself to sleep that night.

10. A scene or character you wrote that surprised you: Hmm not sure. I’ll have to think about this one.

11. A favorite excerpt of your writing: I’m not sure I can call it my absolute favorite, but this scene from Chapter 1 of Amazing Jian Mei is definitely up there:

Mei blinked and focused on the screen, where, truth be told, she had the fewest requests from Rainbow’s list of models. Part of it was undoubtedly because she was new, but… “I do not understand what that has to do with my name.”

Andy grimaced, looking visibly uncomfortable. “Mei, in my years working, I’ve noticed that models with more, uh, Western names, tend to get more bookings. It’s why I changed my stage name myself; my real surname is Karim. I’m an American citizen, was born and raised here, and Andrew Joseph are my real given names, but for a while it was difficult for me to find bookings with an Arabic surname, so I picked O’Conner from a phone book. In the same way, Jian Mei is an obviously Chinese name, so…” he spread his hands helplessly. “I don’t like it either, Mei, but it’s an option I recommend.”

Mei nodded. “Dawn told me something similar, but she only said it was because she was tired of people mispronouncing her name.”

Andy nodded. “She chose Dawn from her surname.”

Mei raised both eyebrows. The surname 萧 had absolutely nothing to do with the word “dawn”, but thinking about it, she realized that the almost identically-pronounced 晓 (minus the vastly different intonation, which any Chinese speaker would immediately pinpoint, but which most non-speakers would probably hardly notice) translated to Dawn. So… “What if I make a stage name similar to mine?”

Andy nodded. “Most non-speakers would butcher your name into Jane May, which is a start.”

Mei thought about it. “Is that a good name?”

Andy rubbed his chin in thought. “It’s just, they’re both first names, and they’re not so catchy.”

“How about May first? It is the correct pronunciation of my real name anyway.”

“Hmm,” Andy was visibly perking up, and looking intensely at Mei (which gaze, however, she didn’t mind; unlike the other gazes she was used to, Andy’s was pure thought and focus and creativity). “May Jane, May Jane. It’s still a little softer than I’m used to, but-ah!” A snap of the fingers. “How do you feel about Mary?”

Mei thought about it. “Mary Jane is not so far from May Jane.”

“Mary Jane, Mary Jane, yes, I can see it.” Then she saw Andy realize something, as his shoulders slumped and his eyes defocused. “But that can’t be just it, because Mary Jane can also be slang for marijuana, and we don’t want your stage name to be immediately associated with, well, that.”

Mei sat back and pursed her lips. “How about if we add something to Mary Jane?”

Andy’s eyes refocused on her face. “Like a third name? Something Western? Yes, yes, that could work. Do you like anything?”

Mei slumped. This was hard; she didn’t know that many Western surnames that she liked. Chewing her lip, she looked around Andy’s office for inspiration, and finding none, thought about the contents of her bag-ah.

Mei smiled, and Andy immediately noticed.

“What is it?”

She reached into her bag, pulled out the book she had bought the previous week, and showed it to Andy, who tilted his head to one side in puzzlement. “The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes? Mary Jane Holmes?”

Still smiling, Mei shook her head. “I was actually thinking of Dr. Watson.”

Andy’s eyes lit up in excitement. “Yes, yes, yes, it’s excellent. Excellent! A good addition to our team.” Rapidly, Andy snatched back his laptop and started typing furiously, then hit the enter key and leaned back. “Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the newest model of Rainbow International, miss Mary Jane Watson.”

Letting a grin spread across her face to match the one on Andy’s, and feeling a surge of confidence and adventurousness, Mei stood up and reached a hand across the table. “You can also call me MJ.”

12. How did you grow as a writer this year: I started writing. I have never written anything before, except for the usual creative writing classes way back in high school and college, which were all more than a decade in the past.

13. How do you hope to grow next year: If I can continue bringing Mei to the page that’ll be the greatest thing ever.

14. Who was your greatest positive influence this year: Too many to mention. Uhh. @seek--rest of course, @promiseofthepremise, @jenniboo311, @pepperminttegan @kitausuret @dyde21 @evil-pony @mysterycyclone @anarchyduck @inkpenparker @weezly14 @demigod-of-the-agni GOD I AM FORGETTING SOMEONE I’M SORRY I’M SORRY I’M SORRY PLEASE LMK I WILL ADD YOU HERE I’M SORRY

15. Anything from your real life show up in your writing this year: Like I said. Everything culture-specific in Amazing Jian Mei either came from my personal experience, or from something experienced by someone I personally know

16. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers: Just write. I know how scary it is. But I promise you, there will be that one person who reads it and loves it and tells you that they love it, and you’ll fall in love.

17. Any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year: I’m looking forward to continuing Amazing Jian Mei (not sure so much about finishing, but definitely continuing). Plus another couple ideas marinating.

18. Tag some writers whose answers you’d like to read: I think everyone I tagged has already answered this but again if I forgot to tag you as a positive influence please don’t pitchfork me I am sorry again

And before I forget:

HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO OUR BELOVED @seek--rest !!!!!

[chasing-rabbits]

Long post putting under read more I’m actually doing good and my therapy session was good. But I still sometimes have a lot of thoughts about my trauma and trying to deal with conflicting emotions but I’m hopeful and that’s a beautiful thing when you’ve not seen the light of day in well ever really. There was never a ‘before’ that’s what CPTSD is though, right? Never a before because it starts in childhood that’s what distinguishes it from PTSD & why its considered ‘complex’ anyways I’ll get my after, I feel confident about that now or for at least today those bpd feels right chronically unstable I’ll take this for now at least.

Recovery is an odd thing sometimes it seems better not to because confronting the shit that you tried so hard to bury seems so much more scary and painful and honestly it fucking is. Ever since starting EMDR therapy I have had more intrusive thoughts more panic attacks my CPTSD has been markedly worse and is triggered so much easier but IF I can make it through this there’s a good chance it’ll improve my quality of life so I’ve gotta hurt so much more and purposely put myself back into things so bad that little me locked them away because otherwise it’ll always have control over me and I can’t have a good life living that way. EMDR is so different to any other therapy it’s very different and very odd at first but the more I do it the more I think I’m getting it. A lot of the time I feel like I just want to stop that I’ve got too much else going on too much stress that doing the EMDR is too much to add on top of it. I think I would always feel that way though because half the shit stressing me out is caused by my trauma its circular really. It’s taken a lot for me to realise I’m not the problem that was the hardest thing I think recognising that no matter how I change and contort myself I’ll never do anything ‘right’ because when he gets angry there is no right he just wants to take it out on someone anyone in his sight and for whatever reason he loves to pick me I’m an ‘easy’ target I guess. It’s hard to reconcile that because a parent’s meant to love and it’s hard to not be angry once you have this clarity because now it’s so much simpler I was a verbal punching bag and I have crippling mental health issues because of it. It’s hard not to be angry about that you know. Knowing you’ll have lifelong struggles with mental health because your own father couldn’t just love you and to this day still sometimes will treat me like absolute shit and it’s not just that easy to cut him out for a variety of reasons. You know when I started this post it wasn’t going to be a sad one thinking about my trauma. I was feeling positive about therapy and where it’s going, I’m not sad though just got a lot on my mind like usual after sessions.

Me and my therapist talked about that today about the two good weeks I had before it dipped again and what it’s like to be hopeful. It’s nice that’s what it is. Nice to imagine a life where my CPTSD & BPD could improve where I could feel in control of my life again oh and she says the anger is a positive thing in the sense of the CPTSD like I guess there’s stages you move through when dealing with trauma & being angry is a good thing like not a ‘good’ thing but it’s a good sign I guess with regards to getting better. Anyways Idk what the point of this was mixed feelings I guess?

[byulsgrease]

if you arent too busy, can you write a idol!hwasa x idol!reader, wherein they both have to practice with each other for a special stage. However on the first meeting they become starstruck and cant believe somethings are real, but soon warm up to each other?

i'm not terribly busy but this still took a while anyway oops - sorry this took so long anon! here you go :D

if anyone has requests for the other members hmu cuz I've got 2 more hyejin reqs after this one (not that I'm complaining)

"who says we can't do something on our own?"

(hwasa x idol!reader, ~1.2k words)

cw: food + alcohol mention (y'all know how it is)

I named someone Minjeong - it's not Aespa's Winter, idk anything about 4th gen gg's - 민정 is my Korean name so it's just what came to mind

"Hey, wake up. You've gotta see this. GET UP," a voice piercing through the fog of your sleep.

What a rude awakening. Your shoulders being shaken vigorously by a pair of small hands meant they belonged to none other than Minjeong, your youngest group member. You rolled over to glare menacingly at her with one eye open, trying to pull your brain out of the slumber. All you could see was the bright light of her phone shining in your eyes - a video of some kind. But then you heard the audio:

"Have you seen the clip?" asked the interviewer.

"Yes, my members and many MooMoos made sure I saw it"— Moos? Oh, it's Hwasa. WAIT. Both your eyes flew open as you sat up and snatched Jeongie's phone out of her hand to stare at the video. Your mind immediately flashed back to the interview you did last week - they asked who you most wanted to collaborate with, if there were no limitations. Your ears started to heat up at the sheer thought of the flustered mess of an answer you gave - of course you said Hwasa. Both of you debuted relatively close to each other, within a year, but never interacted much over the years. Mamamoo as a group was a force to be reckoned with, but there was just something about Hwasa specifically. You mostly just admired her unique singing voice and undeniable stage presence, and her relentless drive to always be herself in an industry constantly trying to fit women into a box.

Finally snapping out of re-living that embarrassment, your attention turned back to the phone in your hand. The interviewer must've asked her to send a message in response to you, because you couldn't believe that she was waving and saying, "How haven't we gotten to know each other better over all these years? I'd love to work with you on something sometime," curtly dipping her head in a slight bow.

"SEE? You needed to see that," Minjeong rushed to say, full of energy. "And close your mouth, your jaw's on the floor," jokingly pointing.

You side-eyed her and shut your mouth. "Is this what Loco felt like when she called him during Hyena on the Keyboard?" you wondered aloud.

"At least she's not calling you while on camera," she commented, knowing full well that you'd probably embarrass yourself again if she did. "But hey, at least she noticed you! Can I have my phone back now?" It would be a dream come true to collaborate with her, but cross-company collabs... always a pain. that couldn't be helped. The fantasy abruptly ended with demands from your rumbling stomach. Done with your what-if's, you placed the phone back in your maknae's outstretched hand to get up and make breakfast.

~~~~

With award show season rolling around, the crazy scramble of rehearsing for special live stages without leaking sets and collabs began. Checking your email that morning showed a schedule to record the backing track for a special live stage, but that was it. With who? You texted your members a screenshot, but they all told you that block of time in their schedule was empty. A solo stage? The solo mini-album you released this cycle did relatively well, the title track got a music show win, but not a multi-week chart-topper by any means. Possibilities turning over in your mind, you stepped out from your place to head to the company, totally in the dark about what was in store.

The recording studio always smelled the same along with the couches, a comfort for all the insanely long nights and crack-of-dawn early mornings over the years. With a bit of time to kill, you plopped down on one and gingerly patted the worn cushions as some kind of symbolic thank-you for supporting you (literally).

A hesitant but loud knock sent your gaze directly to the door. Watching it slowly open, you leaned forward to see who it was. Needless to say, your jaw fell to the floor again as you clapped a hand over your gaping mouth, eyes widening. Like a soldier obeying a command, you immediately stood up as straight as possible and bowed profusely at Hwasa, sporting a very similar expression on her face (which you failed to notice, your mind running a million miles a minute).

After a series of frantic bows and miscellaneous utterances to each other, she spoke. "It's nice to finally meet you," she said with calm, surveying your frenzied state. "I guess we're granting that collab wish from your interview, huh?"

The red-hot embarrassment leapt to your face. "I...I definitely made a fool of myself answering that question. And our maknae showed me your interview clip too, which was cool, but never did I think it would actually happen," you stammered. I should probably stop talking.

"Well, here I am," she half-smiled coolly. "Let's get started, I'm really looking forward to finally work with you on this," a gleam in her eye and a hint of excitement in her voice.

The studio suddenly felt a lot smaller with her in it, despite there only being your managers, the producer, and the both of you - less people than you and your members alone. Both of you remained relatively quiet the whole time, rather unsure of what to say or talk about. You watched enough MMMTV to know that all the members on their own were shyer than together, and Hwasa knew the same was true for you. But the work basically took care of itself, seamlessly taking turns in the recording booth, witnessing each other's work style and process. The both of you knew your way in front of a mic, seasoned professionals by now. Upon wrapping up, you bowed politely to each other after a quick exchange of KaTalk info, a short and sweet goodbye.

That was... anticlimactic. I mean, it's finally happening - I can't believe it. But maybe I was too idealistic about maybe creating a meaningful relationship with her outside of work... What does she think of me?

~~~~

In the days leading up to the collab stage, you kept going back and forth on whether to reach out or not, despite now being in possession of her contact info. What would you even say? Thoughts of a witty one-liner or relatable meme came to mind, but maybe she'd assume the worst - that you were clout-chasing, or something. Anxieties abuzz, your phone vibrated in your pocket. The KaTalk notification sprawled across your screen. Speak of the devil, it's her.

"Hey, awards season has me stressed. I know you must pretty busy right now too, but I somehow get off early tomorrow if you wanna grab dinner after work?" You had to reread that one. Oh, what? She's inviting me?

Trying not to be weird about responding too quickly, you typed out, "Wow, yeah, that sounds great! ^^ wait, your company doesn't care about you going out to eat during award season?"

"nah, they stopped having that kind of control over us a while ago, we are the money-maker of the company, after all 😏"

"so I guess this means they don't check your phone either ㅋㅋㅋ"

"nope :)"

You proceeded to set a time and place to meet, someplace with meat.

In the process of feasting on an inordinate amount of gopchang imbued with a splash of beer, you learned a fair amount about each other. You talked career, professional aspirations, the weird habits of your members, and more. What surprised you most was the amount of things she already knew about you, having admitted to watching some of your behind-the-scenes content after seeing your interview clip.

"Ah... I'm sorry if I came across as distant during that first recording session," she confessed, pausing to sip her beer. "I honestly didn't know what to do with myself, I felt a little star-struck."

"Oh what?? I felt the exact same, so no worries - and sorry if I came off similarly distant," you rambled back. A bit of silence fell between you, acknowledging the mutual sentiment. You spoke up after a bit, "Thanks for inviting me out tonight, I didn't realize how much I needed this."

"Thank you for making the time, I had fun getting to know you better," she articulated with a smile. "Maybe it'll make the collab stage better," she added on jokingly. You responded with a nod and expression of mutual affirmation.

~~~~

After that, messaging each other became a regular occurrence, that gopchang outing having broken the ice. Honestly, you tried your best to talk about anything besides work, but the baseline of shared understanding connected you in a way that came more naturally than it did with your non idol friends.

You stood across the way from her at the sound check for the final stage, dressed in joggers and slides. Funny to think that you'd be recording this for real in a couple hours, making eyes with the blinking red light on the cameras surrounding you. It sucks that fans wouldn't get to experience the energy and atmosphere of the performance - Hyejin alone is one thing, but adding someone else into her stage presence? Unmatched. There's nothing quite like a live performance - and while you knew everyone in the industry dealt with the consequences of the pandemic, it certainly took a toll to perform and not feel the energy from fans. But realistically, nothing you could do about it. The sound check went over smooth like butter. The stage chemistry came flowing naturally between you both, even when bare-faced and dressed in just sweats.

And when the time came for the actual filming, you both absolutely killed it, an upbeat mash-up of TWIT and your title track. At the very end came a sliver of hesitation before throwing your arms around each other with a big smile for the ending fairy, proud of the work you accomplished together, and a mental fist-pump to yourself for making friends with one of the industry's finest.

Once again walking to a restaurant that served mostly meat to celebrate, you playfully proposed, "We... should do that again sometime." A little puff of air came out her nose in amusement.

"Yeah, we should. Too bad we're gonna have to wait a whole cycle before we can release anything else together again," she sighed longingly.

"Who says we can't do something on our own?"

[ambeauty]

My Five Favorite Fics

This is funny because I’ve only published five on AO3 up to this point, so y’all can learn about what I like about each one. Thank you for tagging me bestie @selinascatnip and sister @jonskory

1. Show You The Stars in the Daylight - First Fic, First Multichapter, First Everything. I reread this one recently and fell in love all over again. It just screams me. I love to travel, especially to tropical locations, and I love DK. So put the two and two together. I started writing because there was so much I wanted to see for this ship and we have a lot of talented writers, but I personally needed more fun. So that’s why I wrote it. I also discovered here that I like writing romantic comedy, which is funny because I don’t actually watch a lot of romcoms, but I’m a sensitive Scorpio that uses humor to cope, so it tracks. This one is just a lot of sexy and fun, the perfect vibes.

2. Is This Real or is it In My Head - Wanted to challenge myself with incorporating a villain, and I heavily disclaimed that I knew nothing about him and this is when we had very minimal information except casting news. It was tough for me to write, because I was like what is the purpose, where I am going?? And it seemed like SYTS just spilled out of me (I had four chapters written in one night). However DK needed all the help they could get and why shouldn’t BB use his mind control for good and bring our babies together, idk. I don't know if my besties just love me or what, but it was better received than I had thought it would be, again because I struggled a bit pulling it all together and making it make sense to me.

3. It’s Like Two Stars Colliding - Oooo the pregnancy fic. I’m at an age and stage in my life where my baby fever is at an ALL TIME HIGH. I’ve never been pregnant myself, but when the time comes, I definitely look forward to it. So this was a way for me to work through all that baby fever. I LOVE pregnancy fics (obviously) and had only seen a few in the DK fandom so I was like ugh I gotta write one. Feral Dads, Obsessive Dads, Smitten Dads, I need it ALL. And this turned into a multichapter so that was fun too.

4. Love Me Like We Don't Have Tomorrow - I was listening to Zayn and crying in the car about DK like I usually am and got this angsty idea which was also really sexy and just started to write. I have been listening to a lot of contemporary adult romance, special shout out to my baby sis @jonskory and Book ClubTM and I was like I gotta step my smut game all the way up. So this one was a smut challenge. I really love this concept and the smut was so beautiful and fun even though the undertones were angsty. Like damn you wait until the last night to admit to the person you love how you feel and then they leave(maybe), fuck kill me now. Also I had just finished my s3 rewatch and I was pissed at how other characters were beating my beloved down about how he compared to his father, but the love of his life did not! So I had to give them their moment. Definitely proud and love this one!

5. No One Loves You Like This - I will keep it simple. I just wanted to see the hot people f*ck in a nightclub. 🤣 We got those set videos of what appears to be a nightclub and I was ooooo I know what to do. My bestie @escapism-through-imagination had given me a little taste in one of hers, and with her blessing, I was like let me see how far I can take this. I also love creating looks for characters that we may not get to see in canon, so this was inspired by that as well. I got to collab on some amazing art with my dollbaby @not-so-mundane-after-all like how freaking dope is that! I've also been told that this has been my smuttiest work yet and I truly don't know how that happened. I guess it's just the power of the ship!

tagging @not-so-mundane-after-all @wonderbatwayne @ambelle @blackloislane @meerakory and anyone else who hasn't done this already

[owaowabetch]

Uh Oh (Sykkuno x F!Reader)

Oneshot (maybe part of a series??? idk we’ll see): The Prequel to “Impasta” in which reader meets the gang for the first time and experiences a betrayal. Mainly Friendship

Warning: non-beta, I wrote this in one go and full sent it. 

You were a small time Twitch streamer that had recently befriend a streamer with a much larger audience, ValkyRae.  You had been talking back and forth for quite some time, since Rae’s dm to you weeks ago. You were mainly an rp channel where you played games like GTA, The Sims, and Animal Crossing. Though you gained a lot of your followers from playing League, though it mostly consisted of hate-followers that would only critique your gaming, even though you were pretty good at it. But it doesn’t bother you too much *que sob*

You were streaming GTA on a RP server playing an amish girl on a Rumspringa and wreaking havoc. You and your ‘gang’ had successfully finished hitting a bank truck ,causing your character to rake in a few thousand dollars, when you got a message from Rae asking you if you had wanted to play a few rounds of the popular game among us. 

“Alright guys, a friend asked if I wanted to join her lobby of among us. I know it’s different from the stuff i usually stream, but is that something you guys would be cool with?” You asked your chat and watch an influx of people messaging ‘yes’ or ‘pog’. You take a sip of your Starbucks and picked up your phone to message Rae that you’ll be joining. “Fair warning, I’ve never played among us. So we’ll see how this goes, guys” 

While you waited to be invited to the discord and into the lobby, you chatted with your viewers for a bit. “I just realized that I’m really awkward around new people. Like when I’m playing on the GTA Rp Server, I’m not myself, I’m a character you know? So it’s easier to talk with other people, cause they’re also role playing. Plus I don’t think I can call anyone in the discord a musty dusty rat bitch lol or sell them drugs, it’s not that kind of game...unless?...” You laugh as you login to your discord and accept the invite to the discord “alright guys! here we go~”

You enter the discord call and hear people talking. 

“Y/N!” Rae exclaims “Guys this is my new friend y/n”

“Hi” Responding to the various voices greeting you

“OK, so the code is in the chat and so are the bubbles, so your chat can see who is talking and what not” Rae explains

You input the code and saw your little character in the space ship. “Oh god guys look at us!” You ran your little character around the ship “How do we change colors? I’m not feeling this blue and I saw Rae with her lil creepy mask”

You read your chat tell you what to do so you went to the little computer to change the blue to white and clicked through all the hats til you decided on the pink flower. “How about this guys? Yellow is my favorite color but its taken”

“Alright, you ready y/n?” Rae asked

“Yup” you respond by running circles around her character

“OK i’m starting. Don’t forget to mute and close chat. You can open it back up if your imposter or dead” Rae sang “Good luck~”

“Alright chat I gotta close you til the game is done? I guess” You hum as the words ‘crewmate’ pop up. “Well at least i’m not imposter, i know the game. I mean who hasn’t at this point. I just never played it, seems to be to nerve wracking”

You open the map icon and run to where the closet yellow exclamation point was, which was admin. You make sure to note all the colors around you in there as you swipe your card “Alright, green, yellow, brown,red, and orange” You repeated the colors over and over again as you make your way into electrical when you notice something “Ok uh green is following me? I don’t know why but its freaking me out.” The lights turn off and you start freaking out “Oh god, this is where I die. Don’t I? You know what do it. Kill me! It’s probably a good idea. I’m kind of an idiot and it’ll help me figure things out on my own without the pressure” You follow the arrow pointing to a panel and you click on it “What am i supposed to do? You know green, this would be the perfect opportunity to murder me in cold blood... is this how you do it?” You flip the switches so that they are all bright green and the lights turn on “YAS BITCH, I did it” 

The green character kind of just circles your body as you do tasks in electrical, you do download, wires, and power diverter. “Ok BUT WHY IS HE FOLLOWING ME!!” 

An orange body had been reported and that two others had died (bright green and pink) and the person who reported the body was black or as his name read ‘Abe’ “Ok, so this body was in admin on card swipe”

“Well this body couldn’t have been me or y/n” Sykkuno says “I was following her this entire time”

“Yea, I’d like to know why lol? You were kinda freaking me out dude” You laugh a bit trying to play off how nervous you were to call him out on it

“Oh No! I was protecting you” Sykkuno explains “I promise”

“Sykkuno? Are you already simping for someone?” Rae feigns exasperation 

“No really guys!” He explains nervously “The new person always dies first, so I was just trying to protect her.”

You hum and smile mischievously “Unless, your just trying to gain my trust only to murder me in coldblood in front of my bestie Rae, to prove your superiority over her!?!”

Rae gasps “Really Sykkuno!?! I’m voting you just for that!”

“Wah? No wait! It’s not like that really” Sykkuno starts laughing as Rae votes “Oh God did you really vote for me?”

“Yes” Rae says and you start laughing 

“So anyways, Leslie’s body is in admin?” Hafu says wanting to talk more about the body and get all the sus’s and clears

Though you gasp when you realized a few things “wait I have some info to share” teasing Sykkuno had loosened you up a bit “it was me,green,yellow,brown,red, and orange in admin. Then me and green, uh Syyykkkuunnoo? Sorry if i didn’t say your name right, left and went into electrical, then lights were called and I fixed them before finishing off my tasks in there. So the body must’ve died during lights unless she left and came back into admin after lights were fixed? which doesn’t make much sense, sooo yea” you smiled “look at me chat! being all smart and shit” 

“yes” Poki agrees “I left admin also with Rae just before lights were called”

“Ok, so I know that puts sus on me, but I went straight to lights when they were called” Hafu says “Someone on the right side must’ve vented when lights were off. Like I was entering the hallway from storage with Tina when lights got fixed and we went to reactor room together. So it couldn’t have been me. Maybe Tina? I dont know which way she come from, but it was not me”

“That is true. I did meet up with Hafu at storage, but I don’t know man” Tina says “ I was doing download in comms”

“Oh god” You tell chat “I don’t know whether to believe Hafu or not. I know she is really good, along with Toast, but he hasn’t said anything”

“Well it is seven and we don’t vote on seven, so we can skip. Just putting a sus on Hafu” Rae says

“Yes please do” Hafu says as she votes to skip

“Do we know where the other bodies are?” Poki asks as the seconds start to dwindle down to zero “Also Toast? Why are you so quiet?”

“I’m trying to figure out a new strat, so don’t you worry. I’ll catch the killers” Toast starts to evil laugh and that was the end of the meeting.

“Ok we’re susing Hafu for this.Though I don’t think it’s her only cause I remember watching one of her imposter plays and it would be a too obvious kill,since so many people were there, it just doesn’t make sense, so someone venting in and killing is plausible or could be a self report? I don’t know lol It’s my first game” You run with Sykkuno and finish up your tasks together. Though lights were called when you both were at shields, you can see the vent pop open and in your little vision bubble you see a flash of red “Whelp this is where I die, I’d like to rate Sykkuno an 8 out of 10 for protecting me, but obviously I am now died” True to your word Rae killed you and you saw Sykkuno running around like a headless chicken when he reports your body 

“Oh God! They got her when I was trying to protect her!” Sykkuno exclaims 

“Sykkuno! You were supposed to be protecting her!?” Rae shouts “What happened? Did you kill her in cold blood? hmm?”

“smh Rae, you murdered me right in front of Sykkuno” You sigh “Well chat looks like I’m dead and we can speak now”

“No!” Sykkuno denies “I said I was going to protect her. I wouldn’t kill her after saying that”

“Well she’s dead now Sykkuno! Where’s the body?” Toast dramatically says

“It’s in shields. It happened when lights were off” Sykkyno says “I’m sorry y/n, I couldn’t protect you”

“Aw that is so cute” You pout at his apology, it wasn’t his fault. It was dark, so obviously he couldn’t see

“Well I don’t think Sykkuno did this, He said he was protecting her to everyone, so I can say that he’s crew” Hafu says “I’m at light panel, I remember seeing Poki and Tina there”

“I can confirm this” Poki says “So Toast let’s hear your big brain play. What’s your strat?”

It was silent for a minute, before Toast admits that he doesn’t have one.

“Ok so we can all agree that Toast is the imposter right?” Rae says “Vote him outta here!”

“Yep” Tina agrees hitting that vote on him and many follow suit

“Wait guys! WAIT! I do! I do have a strat” Toast screams out “Uhhh... wires! The wires guys!”

“Lol they’re gunna vote him off” You watch people voting “Rae is probably gunna win this”

“Yea, you’ve done that pay before” Poki laughs

“Don’t worry I’ll skip Toast” Sykkuno says 

“Why would you skip if we’re on 6?” Rae asks “Is Toast your imposter buddy?”

“Wah? I said I was protecting y/n, why would I kill her?” Trying to make his innocence obvious 

“Unless you killed her by accident or Toast did and you’re trying to protect him like the Simp you are!” Rae accuses him

Tina starts to also question Sykkuno “Wait a second, I dont think I’ve seen you do a single task this entire game! You’ve just been following y/n all around! We should vote him off next!”

“Guys, I swear it’s not me, it just doesn’t make sense” You can hear him plead “Oh no guys, how did this get twisted? It’s Rae! But how did it go to thinking Sykkuno as imposter?”

The meeting ends with Toast screaming into the abyss as he is yeeted out with Sykkuno telling him that he voted to skip.

“Ok then chat, looks like the imposters are gunna win, lets talk for a bit” You sigh and start reading the comments “ I know that I didn’t talk much with them, but I’m just awkward in general and I don’t know what to say to them. This is the first time playing with a group like this where i’m supposed to be myself and not a character.”

The words Defeat appeared on screen and there was Hafu and Rae as imposter. “I honestly didn’t think it was Hafu”

“Hafu was that you that killed Leslie in admin? I didn’t think it was “You asked when you returned to the lobby

“NO! I got framed by my own partner” Hafu explains before taking her bathroom break

“How did Rae get that kill cause I was with her?” Poki asks

“I vented from Caf back into admin when lights were off” Rae laughs “and I vented into shields and killed y/n right in front of Sykkuno!”

“Im sorry for not being able to protect you” Sykkuno runs circles around my character “Next round I’ll do better! I promise”

You laugh and start chasing after him in the ship “What if you end up as imposter?”

“Then I’ll have to look away as my imposter buddy kills you” Sykkuno laughs behind his hand and clears his throat “Im joking, Im joking, I promise”

“Wow Sykkuno” You tsk and run over to the opposite side of the room “I don’t know if I want your protection services now”

“Uh” Sykkuno splutters “I’m joking I promise! I won’t kill you as imposter”

“Wait til Corpse hears you simping over someone else” Poki says before starting the game

“Wait Hafu is still in the bathroom!” Rae exclaimed, but it was to late to stop the game from starting, so she’ll have to jump in when she comes back. Though you swear you feel your heart jump out of your chest when the words Imposter read on you screen. The 1st of the night for you and another in a row for Hafu.

“Oh God guys. Hafu is in the bathroom, but she has to carry us” You start to panic “What we do we do!?! Wait is Sykkuno seriously gunna follow us? Should we kill him or would that be to obvious?” You see the chat tell you that it would be to obvious and that it would be better to maybe frame him, but it seems to mean to you “Should we kill someone in front of him? You know to test his loyalty? It’s a terrible idea”

Though before you go on to fake tasks, you see Sykkuno standing on top of Hafu’s body, so you also go ontop of Sykkuno’s and to the outside perspective you are protecting Hafu, but really for you it’s to ensure that your imposter partner is going to be walking around and killing people,once she comes back from the bathroom. It seems that Hafu is back from the bathroom as her yellow character starts making her way away from you both. You and Sykkuno make your way to admin when lights get called and Sykkuno starts to wiggle his body around into a corner. It seems as though he wants you to stack with him in a corner, but before you do you double back when you see a body pass by and kill them, though you start to laugh when you see your character kill Rae, before ‘stumbling’ into Sykkuno’s view in the corner. You both stay there as lights turn back on and go on card swipe. You think about juking Sykkuno, but realize that it’ll look sus on you for ditching him. So you two just walk around ‘completing’ tasks as every once in a while the lights would go off and you two will stack on each other or wait for doors to open which you had been closing alot of them. 

“Honestly guys I’m at a point were I just wanna murder someone in front of him” You start to evil laugh as you both stack in the corner of medbay as lights start turning on when a body got called

“It’s toast, it’s toast, it’s toast” Hafu chants as it was her who reported the body “I saw him kill Poki”

“oh she self reported” you note and click on Toast’s name but not locking in your vote just in case. You also noticed that four people had died “She killed three people!?! Wow she is beast in this game! Holy Shit guys”

“see, from my perspective it’s hafu. I didn’t see the kill, but I did see blood splatter and Hafu immediately reported the body and blamed me, so it has to be Hafu. I’m voting her” Toast explains and votes her

“no no no no no no no. I saw you kill her when lights got fixed.” Hafu describes her side and what she did in that round “ Ok guys I was afk for like the first 20 seconds and I see Sykkuno and y/n there standing on me in caf., and I’m just doing my tasks, which I finished by the way, so I’m just going back and forth going to cams and just walking around to find any dead bodies. So if you saw cams on in the last 30 or so seconds it was me. I’ve also been fixing lights too! Peter and Leslie should be able to vouch for me on that! But on this round of lights I’m making my way to go help fix them when i see blood flicker in my little bubble and as it starts to get bigger I see Toast walking away from it. Its Toast. It is 100% Toast.” She locks her vote on him “Vote him please. If you don’t vote then you’re either imposter or just throwing”

“I don’t know guys” You start and hover your mouse over the green checkmark next to Toast’s name “I’ve been with Sykkuno the entire round and we did guard Hafu’s body. For Hafu to say that she saw Toast kill, but toast didn’t see Hafu kill? It just doesnt make sense so I’m voting Toast” You lock your vote in when Hafu reminds everyone that crew has to vote together since it is on six. Reminding Peter and Leslie that Hafu has been fixing lights got their votes, but Sykkuno was hesitant “You know I can never vote Toast guys, but I have been with y/n this entire time and I know it’s not her. So, I’m sorry Toast but uh” He locks his vote in for either Hafu or Toast? Who knows if he’s simping over Toast hard.

“Sykkuno?” You can hear Toast tremble his voice “Sy-sykkuno? Who did you vote for? Sykkuno!?!?! Do- Don’t tell me...did you really vote me?”

“I uh “ He clears his throat as the votes get out and all of us had voted Toast 

Toast gasps “Sykkuno!?! How could you!?!?!”

“I’m sorry! I just trust y/n!” Sykkuno explains as Toast’s body once again gets yeeted out into space. 

“Wow guys, looks like we’re gunna win our first imposter game!” You wiggle around happily “and we literally did nothing...wait we killed Rae! We got our revenge from the last round mwua hahahahaha”

Sykkuno and I run circles around each other before walking back into medbay. You can see Hafu kind of trailing behind and the doors get locked with us three in it, but Hafu is just standing there. “Chat what is Hafu doing? Why is she just standing there” You can see Sykkuno step on the med scan “Wait she wants ME to kill SYKKUNO! Oh god that is so evil lol but i’m so useless as imposter, so I might as well get in at least 25% of the kills” 

Once Sykkuno steps off you just murder him and you see that you had won.

“I- I can’t believe you just killed me!?! I trusted you y/n” Sykkuno exclaims

“Sykkuno” Rae sighs “she KILLED ME in caf! Why did no one NOT SEE MY CHOPPED BODY IN CAF!”

You just laugh “I’m sorry Sykkuno, but my chat was telling me that Hafu wanted me to kill you”

“Yea, cause I did like all of the kills and sabotages” Hafu recounts who and how she killed 

“Sykkuno, you giant simp. I can’t believe you vote me” Toast tsk’ed 

“I can’t believe y/n was the imposter! and she killed me!” Sykkuno shakes his head “you know what i’m no longer protecting you anymore”

“Wait Sykkuno I’m sorry. Really” You giggle 

“No no no it’s ok, it’s all part of the game” Sykkuno reassure you that he is not actually mad and that he hoped you had fun “But i wont be protecting you from now on, I have scars now”

So, you play a few more games before calling it quits and end your stream. Later on, you find that Sykkuno started following you on Twitter and Instagram, You totally did not stalk both of his pages and you totally don’t think that he’s cute.....

SideNote: You totally murdered someone in front of Sykkuno and he totally didn’t snitch on you. Instead he protected you as you ran around killing more people in front of him and like the giant Simp he is he totally went ‘I neva snitch on you Daddy, I hold a brick for you Daddy’.

[theringers]

V-card anon: hi sorry about that first ask i kinda went into a fugue state (spelling?) altered state of reality maybe when i wrote that and damn near outlined a fic in your inbox

The way we played hot seat was either part of a larger drinking game when a certain card was pulled from a deck, or just on it's own. You sit in a circle, everyone has a drink, usually a beer or cider. In the card pull version, the one who pulls the card gets asked a question by every person playing and if they refuse to answer they drink from their drink. In the standalone, you do that but everyone gets a turn being asked until people get bored and leave. Fun way to find out shit about people. Usually the unwritten rule is that you can't lie. I imagine everyone sitting on shitty chouches and chairs in a semi circle around a table full of cups and bottles playing it

Questions i have been asked: are you a top or bottom? Do you like anal? Wheres the weirdest place you've fucked? Body count? Favorite position (sexual)? Fuck marry kill/ignore people in this room (EVERY TIME I PLAYED I GOT THIS QUESTION)? Tits or ass or other? Favorite non sexual body part ex. Thigh? Ideal fuck buddy? Sex regrets? Etc

Also more weird details i have head cannoned out for some drivers and most likely does not fit with irl personalities, do with this what you will, use it or don't i just have feelings. Also everyone is like compressed in age to like 20-27ish except for some of the grid who i will just think of as younger alumns who come back:

Danny R: social chair, owns a jeep he takes the doors off of in the summer, walks girls home at night to make sure they're ok, tries to DJ house events and is rebuffed by literally everyone, has like 30 pairs of vans you trip over in his room, stolen roadsigns everywhere, masters in something arigcultural or physiological, cutoff frat shirts for days, fuckboy but nice, a bit cringe, will drive around with you at night so you can scream, met reader bc she had a band tee on and wanted to talk to her about it (no gatekeeping)

Charles: some kind of engineering or math degree but no one has any idea how the fuck he's gotten so far, 4.0 never studies, games with other house members, will show up at events randomly you will have no idea how he gets on your couch but he is there, the best and worst taste in clothes, is the only one allowed to play the piano in the house, sweet, cannot help you with studies but is always down for helping you out after, has to be reminded to clean stuff, disaster bi, reader met his gf first and they probably met through that

Pierre: good fashion and music taste, shirt is gone halfway through the night, also fuckboy but wholesome, actually studies, plays a sport for sure probably soccer in some way either club or Division he's too good for rec, will hold your hair back so you can throw up, will tell you your outfit sucks, good at math, also part of the squad that games, econ major, workout buddies with reader anday have taken a math class together

Max: is part of the hockey team he will go pro, also actually studies, got into gaming because of Charles, has the nicest car, is serious until he gets a couple drinks in him, he and Daniel are close and roomed together at some point, owns like 30 sets of the same outfit a white tee and jeans, knows reader through Dan and they get dragged by him to some of the same stuff

Lando: is a pledge or new member his big is Carlos, undeclared major, just happy to be here, gaming squad, used to play lacrosse or something equally obscure, king of knowing where the good snacks are, weirdly good at beer pong, growing into a fuckboy wholesomeness level tbd, probably sweet with reader as she helped him through a blackout or something, met her because she's basically house mom for some of the new boys (the kind of mom who will teach you to do laundry or iron ONCE)

Carlos: hockey flow but does not play hockey, actually studies and is smarter than what people give him credit for, came from a private high school and uni really opened his horizons, also good study buddy, gets along with most people, goes to office hours the most out of the actually studies gang, fun at parties, owns the frat dogs, he and reader met at Office hours (they were the only students) and found they had mutual friends too

Lewis: is/was president of frat, great grades greater bod, did full evolution from fuckboy to good man, has the back tests and the moral support, up for late noght talks about life, definitely was a D1 athlete, best fashion game, implemented no hazing policy, fits into notable alum or PhD category

Mick: undergrad like Lando, also plays soccer or something, too sweet, also walks girls home/holds your hair back etc, cleans parts of the house that aren't his responsibility, higher alcohol tolerance than you expect, everyone is bizarrely protective of him, legacy member (his dad was a legend), drives a motorbike around campus and can't decide between law and psychology, actually studies, met reader through the frat and she would die for him, brings her to class on the bike sometimes because the bike is faster

George: business major, frat treasurer, three ring binder business casual in class kind of guy, nice enough, shirt comes off when drunk, runs marathons and a podcast about investments, best notes in the game and great study partner, actually studies, is drinking monster at 6AM but not because he stayed up late, he and reader met through the frat and sometimes drink wine and bitch together

Lance: hockey player, legacy member, studies sometimes, sarcasm on point, great at stack cup, very chill, knows every good nap spot on campus, also has high alcohol tolerance, is the kind of person who does well in the cold but does not like it, wears headphones so people don't talk to him, great one on one but not in crowds, business major and minor in computer science, probably also met thru Lance's gf but vibe as more introverted people and will cover for each other if one does not want to go out

Nicky: a good boy, part of the walks people home squad, sets up designated drivers for parties, good snack game, future in medical field, good listener, pretty good study buddy, midnight snack enabler, met reader through frat and his gf he and reader are on babysitting duty together sometimes when others get too drunk/high

Yuki: also a pledge or new, majoring in games or computer science as they gave me the same energy as him, games squad, bit of a mad lad, has several stolen street signs, good, met reader through frat and Yuki is the only one patient enough to explain some games to reader, they cuss people out on mic

Esteban: good man, has a full ride scholarship, actually studies, also good study buddy, Dan's little, plays soccer but maybe on a rec team because he prioritizes school, very sweet guy as well, probably chose a really practical major/dual major, met reader through Dan and are also dragged similar places by him

Antonio: manbun, philosophy or classics major possibly business dual, generally good natured but can be seen supplying his own wine at parties, used to be really into metal but kept the hair, does not know that people find him attractive, soccer boi, met reader through frat and she's the only one who will (pretend) to listen to him rant about philosophy

Alex Albon: another full scholarship guy, somehow gets along with everyone, switched majors due to an asshole professor, electrical engineering or computer engineering, actually studies, helps with frat pets,will show you pictures of his cats at home, sweetie, another contender for will hold your hair or walk you home, probably met reader through a class or club and found they had mutual friends and that reader is friends with his gf

Notable alums:

Checo - dad, successful in finance somehow (he looks like an really successful accountant of CFO to me idk why)

Kimi - dad but people forget he is, holds the record for most drinks in 24 hours that will never be come close to by anyone else, shows up on random alum weekends with 2 kegs, legally cannot tell you what he does or he would actually have to murder you

Valterri - was good at a sport when he was there, now a very effective lead engineer at an architectural firm

Seb - environmental or mechanical engineering, all around good guy with someone the best grades in frat history

Alonso - legendary for sexual exploits (consensual)

Anyone I put as actually studies is probably the type reader would hang around for more serious stuff/schoolwork and would probably be closer to, with the exception of Dan bc I feel like he'd be like we're friends now :)) we shall hang or Charles bc he will just show up. I also imagine she has a pretty good friendship with any existing gf, however if a driver does have a gf and he is the love interest sorry bb girl u gotta go for the purposes of this fic

Sorry this is so long hahaaaaaaa glad you liked my Charles thoughts ilu

i honestly wasn’t going to share this like the rest of the anon asks i’ve gotten that i keep close to my heart but this was just too good to keep to myself.

LOOK! AT! THIS!

f1 drivers as frat bros/college students headcannon

i’m writing a series - each “chapter” will be a smut with a different frat bro and i’m hoping to post a sneak peek this week some time but here’s something to hold you over and give you some ideas

to my vcard anon - i appreciate this so much. my inbox is always open for ur thoughts bc they are SO GOOD !! can’t wait for you to read the first part of the series bby

PS if some of this doesn’t make sense to u feel free to send in asks (i know a lot of this is focused on american college culture so if u don’t get it i’m happy to explain)

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 291: The Endeavor Pamphlet

Previously on BnHA: Dabi showed up atop Gigantomachia’s back and was all “you’ll never guess who I really am!” and the readers humored him and were all “who?” and he was all “TODOROKI TOUYA” and we were all “WOW └(・。・)┘ OH MY GOSH I WOULD NEVER HAVE GUESSED”, except for Shouto and Enji who were GENUINELY SHOCKED. Anyway so Touya was all “and guess what I’m doing right now!” and before anyone could even try, he was all, “STREAMING MY EMMY-NOMINATED MINISERIES ‘HELLO, I’M EVIL BUT ALSO TRAGIC AND SEXY, NOW LET ME TELL YOU ALL ABOUT MY DAD WHO SUCKS’’, THAT’S WHAT.” And everyone was all “oh my god” and Touya was all “ヽ(⌐■_■)ノ♪” for basically the rest of the chapter, and that’s pretty much it! Oh, wait, except for the part where he also doused himself in bleach in a fit of pure theatrics, which is actually pretty much the main takeaway from the entire chapter really because it was just wild af. ANYWAYS.

Today on BnHA: Horikoshi introduces Baby Touya, the world’s most enchantingly sweet character, and is immediately all, “I sure can’t wait to tell you guys all about how his fucking jaw burnt off.” Thankfully he doesn’t (YET), and we cut back to the present pretty quickly, where Dabi explains how he took all of his brain cells that should have been used to stop him from pouring bleach over his head, and instead put them all toward his big brain plot of releasing an elaborate video detailing Endeavor’s various abuses and crimes, and even throwing Hawks under the bus as well because WHY NOT. He then leaps off of Gigantomachia’s back (like I said, no brain cells) all set to blast them with a Prominence Burn, only to be stopped by none other than THE LEGEND HIMSELF, MOTHERFUCKING BEST, PRETTIEST, NICEST, MOST OUTSTANDING MOTHERFUCKING JEANIST. Who’s no doubt outraged by the crime against hair he witnessed only moments earlier. GO GETTIM JEANY BOI.

so I haven’t had time to answer any of them because this has been the stupidest week, but I just wanted to tell you guys that I received no fewer than nine asks about Dabi’s hair. which, in a week filled with election memes and tumblr’s most cursed fandom briefly rising back up from the dead, is a pretty impressive feat for him if you ask me. like, I know I was making fun of it basically nonstop, but it sure did generate a lot of discussion so maybe I should rethink my opinions on Dabi’s PR strategies now, idk

anyway. it’s Saturday. time to catch up on this shit. let’s see how fucked the Todorokis are

OH NO HE’S CUTE

HOLY SHIT THIS IS TOO MUCH TO FUCKING PROCESS. I’M JUST TRYING TO ENJOY MY DAY HORIKOSHI, ARE YOU REALLY GOING TO TRAUMATIZE THIS POOR CHILD RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY SALAD

“thanks for being all right” the fuck

who allowed this child to be so cute. I’m serious. who signed off on this

how could a child this adorable possibly want to murder his equally adorable baby brother. please, your honor. there must be some mistake here

guess how prepared I am to read all about Touya’s tragic past. mm. that’s right. zero ready. none ready

anyway. TWO THOUSAND DEGREES LOLOLOL. NO TRACE OF A CORPSE HOW CONVENIENT. A PIECE OF HIS LOWER JAW BONE FFFFMSGHKLSh. LOVELY. LOVELY

LMAOOOOO

listen you guys. I just want to take a moment to appreciate that Horikoshi Kouhei did one of two things here. either (1) he planned it out FROM THE VERY START that Touya would be born with red hair Because Fire Powers, but would then have his hair turn white due to trauma, thus making the Dabi/Touya connection very slightly less obvious, although Let’s Be Real Who Are We Kidding. OR, (2) the anime got it wrong and gave him red hair, and rather than allowing this plot hole to continue to exist, Horikoshi took it upon himself to concoct this elaborate storyline and pretend it was never a plot hole at all! in which case I sure hope someone at Bones is sending him a VERY nice Christmas card this year. got this man sweeping up all your messes for you. you’re just lucky he has some sort of wild compulsion to address these things

anyways!!

FATHER AND SON. how sweet. :| still zero percent ready for any of this btw

STOP BEING CUTE

THIS IS RIDICULOUS. I’M SO MAD RIGHT NOW. HE IS THE SINGLE CUTEST CHARACTER IN THE ENTIRE SERIES, and do you even know how many other baby characters I’m betraying in order to say that?! baby Kacchan, baby Deku, baby Ochako, baby Shouto, Eri, baby Hawks. I’M LOOKING YOU DEAD IN THE EYE RIGHT NOW AND TELLING YOU THAT BABY TOUYA IS CUTER THAN ALL OF THOSE PLEBS. AND YOU’RE LOOKING BACK AT ME RIGHT NOW ALL “YEAH IT SURE IS A PITY ABOUT HIS JAW MELTING OFF THOUGH.” THAT’S IT, I QUIT THE SERIES

and Enji’s smiling at him. he’s so proud of him. but then Touya won’t be able to do it, and Enji’s gonna stop training him, and Touya’s gonna feel like a failure and keep pushing himself in order to try and win his dad’s affections back, because that’s all kids fucking want, all they want is just love, that’s fucking it, you couldn’t just give him that?? and then he’s gonna immolate himself fflkdlskfh THERE YOU SEE HORIKOSHI, I KNOW THE WHOLE STORY ALREADY, YOU DON’T HAVE TO DO THE WHOLE “SHOW THEM THE DEAD DOG” THING YET AGAIN YOU PIECE OF SHIT

OH SNAP THERE GOES THE TWIN THEORY. R.I.P.

BABY FUYUMI. PRETTY CUTE. NOT AS CUTE AS TOUYA THOUGH. HEY LOOK, NO REASON TO GET MAD AT ME I’M JUST STATING A FACT HERE

YEAH THIS IS GONNA GO REAL WELL OH BOY

I keep pressing the emergency stop button but this industrial tragedy machine just keeps on chugging along anyway, I’m pretty sure this thing is not up to code

:| I am so sorry sweet boy, Horikoshi is only getting started with you

FUCKING HELL WITH THIS NARRATION

but he wasn’t actually a child to you, he was just a little puppet child for you to live vicariously through!! and then you went and did the same fucking thing with Shouto afterwards and never learned your lesson until just six months ago!! fucking hell, Enji

so now he’s all “Touya is dead, that’s an unforgivable lie” fflkdhflk motherfucker does he look dead to you. if you really think that, tumblr and twitter have got a little over five years’ worth of archived theory posts to show you

oh shit Touya’s countering with “it’s an unforgivable truth”, which, damn. I actually think Horikoshi’s dialogue is one of his weaker points as a writer a lot of the time, but that comeback was snappy as fuck

actually guys, now that I’ve seen how ridiculously fucking cute baby!Touya was, I can almost understand why Shouto and Enji never put the pieces together before lol. any passing similarities would have easily been dismissed on account of he’d need to be at least 10x more adorable in order to get the full resemblance

OH MY GOD

NOW YOU SLEEP??? SO YOU POINT BLANK REFUSED TO PASS OUT WHILE YOU WERE BUSY MAIMING ALL OF MY FAVORITE CHARACTERS, BUT NOW THAT THERE’S AN OPPORTUNITY TO SEE YOUR REACTION TO THE “YOUR LIEUTENANT WAS SECRETLY RELATED TO ONE OF YOUR WORST ENEMIES THE WHOLE TIME” BOMBSHELL, YOU FINALLY DECIDE TO GET YOUR FORTY WINKS. I SEE

WOW DABI

I’M SURPRISED YOU DIDN’T ALREADY HAVE YOUR ANCESTRY.COM RESULTS PRINTOUT READY TO FOLD INTO A PAPER AIRPLANE AND ZOOM ON DOWN TO HIM

LOL NEVERMIND

gotta say, so far The Endeavor Pamphlet is just about as spicy as I could have hoped

(ETA: Natsuo’s face as he watches his beloved dead brother come back to life only to literally and metaphorically set everything on fire in one fell swoop is :/. why must you do this to me Natsu. can’t you see I’m trying to throw a Welcome Back Jeanist party here.)

HAVE YOU READ THIS?! TODOROKI ENJI ABUSED HIS OWN HEIR, AND DABI WROTE IT DOWN RIGHT THERE

WELL HE’S NEVER GON’ BE NUMBER ONE NOW / NEVER GON’ BE NUMBER ONE NOW / THAT’S ONE LESS THING TO WORRY ABOUT / THAT’S ONE LESS THING TO WORRY ABOUT

btw I neglected to mention this last week, but yes I do recognize and appreciate that this is Can’t Ya See-kun himself whom Horikoshi has chosen to be the face of this existential crisis which the general public is about to experience. rip CYS-kun

OOF

excuse me. putting aside the implications of Dabi sharing this context-less murder video of Hawks with the entire world for a moment, I just have to pause for a sec here, because when exactly did he get a chance to edit this all in?? complete with voiceover that seamlessly ties in with the prerecorded footage of him with DNA test results sans shirt?? you’re telling me this motherfucker, with all the smoke that was in the room thanks to his own quirk, somehow got a PERFECT SHOT of the PRECISE MOMENT when Hawks drove his feather knife into Jin’s back, using his MAGIC CAMERA THAT HE I GUESS HAD THE ENTIRE TIME IN THE POUCH RIGHT NEXT TO HIS BLEACH BOTTLE, and then immediately somehow got this very next shot as well FROM AN ENTIRELY DIFFERENT ANGLE

ALL THE WHILE IMMEDIATELY RUNNING THROUGH SCRIPT REVISIONS IN HIS HEAD, WHICH HE THEN PROCEEDED TO RECORD... WHERE, EXACTLY?? WITH SKEPTIC, WHILST RIDING ON MACHIA’S BACK??

AND THIS IS ALL YOU HAVE TO SAY FOR YOURSELF???

and this after I just wrote that whole long paragraph positively GLOWING about this man’s ability to plug up a plot hole. jfc. just scratch out every damn word I said lol. just forget all of it

are you fucking kidding me, the footage was from the cameras Skeptic planted on Hawks??

that’s... actually... okay you know what, it still doesn’t make any sense in the slightest, but the determination to address it nonetheless... just, dammit... I feel like I’m constantly at war with myself over whether or not I want to shake this man’s hand or slap him lmao. whatever, then!!

anyway, since Shouto and Enji can’t actually see the damage that Touya is dealing to the hero industry even as they speak, Touya is taking it upon himself to give them the highlights

I think it’s a testament to how much Endeavor cares about Hawks that he managed to zero in on that comment even amidst all the craziness of his eldest son returning from the dead to announce how he’s been carefully plotting their destruction for years and years. like, he heard “Hawks” and his face immediately went like that. you think he’s worried that Dabi did something to him? because he’d be right to worry lol

so the Endeavor Pamphlet narration is now explaining all about how Hawks totally killed the Number 3 Hero Best Jeanist as well! yep... he sure did... totally...

OH MY GOD WE’RE CUTTING TO HIM AHHHHH

Hawks, that is. lol. not Jeanist. NO, JUST MY POOR HALF-DEAD WINGLESS BABY SON

NOOOOO HIS LITTLE WING STUMPS. BUT SOMEHOW HIS FACIAL HAIR IS STILL INTACT. OH TO BE AN ANIME PRETTY BOY BEING SET ON FIRE. “HEY, TAKE IT EASY, WATCH THE FACE”

EXCUSE ME WHAT

interesting! we suspected as much, I think, with the clues that Ending dropped, and the little flashback right after the name reveal. still not clear how Dabi found out about it though!

looooool okay here we go, breaking out the heavy-handed holier-than-thou shit now

you know, I do find it interesting how trying to model themselves after All Might’s noble Symbol of Peace image has kind of ended up being the heroes’ undoing here. like, I could write a whole essay on this, but what it basically boils down to is that they were all trying too hard to be perfect. All Might went out there and did his thing and was amazing, and so the powers-that-be built an entire system centered around this seemingly-infallible person, and they acted like the system was infallible as well. and so most of the population ended up becoming complacent over the years, and meanwhile the people who were unfortunate enough to fall through the cracks understandably wound up disillusioned and perceiving the heroes as these false idols

anyway, but I think one positive takeaway from this is that the new up-and-coming generation of heroes represent a breakaway from that system. like, imo what we’re witnessing is the downfall of the Perfect Hero, and the rise of the imperfect hero. and this new generation doesn’t shy away from their failures or pretend like they never happened. they pretty much can’t pretend, because their failures are all right out there in the open for everyone to see. Bakugou Katsuki, just to name one example off the top of my very biased head, has had his own personal character journey basically play out right in front of the media’s eyes. his humiliation at the sports festival, his kidnapping by the League, and all of the fallout afterward. this isn’t someone who can ever go out there and convince the world that he’s perfect. but what he can do, instead, is show the world that he’s trying. that he’s trying with everything he has to do his best, to be the best. rather than this untouchable godlike image, it’s instead the image of someone painfully human who is nonetheless striving with everything he’s got to keep moving forward, flaws and all, and work his way to the top

and ultimately I think that’s going to be a much more positive image to send out to the world when all’s said and done. because rather than merely inspiring awe, heroes like that inspire people to take action themselves. or at least that’s what I hope! and not just Bakugou, but the others as well. we’ve got Shouto, whose own personal trauma is being aired in front of the whole nation even as I sit here ranting. we’ve got Deku, who cries at the drop of a hat, and who fought to become a hero despite being quirkless (and I think it’s only a matter of time before that eventually becomes public knowledge as well). tl;dr because I’m getting way too long-winded here, but these kids have effectively been humanized in a way that the old generation never was, and I think that’ll go a long way towards building trust between them and the people they’ll someday be protecting, and inspiring the next generation in hopefully a much healthier way

anyway so where were we. ...oh yes, Dabi was explaining that heroes only protect themselves, and is presumably building up to his grand conclusion of “therefore you should all just let the villains take over and burn down the world”

omfg. YOU GUYS

DOES CAN’T YA SEE-KUN’S SHARK FRIEND ACTUALLY CALL HIM “CAN’T YA SEE-KUN.” HE HAS A NAME YOU KNOW!! UNLESS HE LEGALLY GOT HIS NAME CHANGED TO CAN’T YA SEE-KUN. OH MY GOD

ALSO, IS THAT CAN’T YA SEE-KUN CRYING IN THE BOTTOM RIGHT THERE OMG. GIVE THIS CHILD A HUG. EVERYONE STOP WHAT YOU’RE DOING RIGHT NOW AND HUG HIM

BAKUGOU IS BARELY HANGING ON THERE LOL. GOTTA STAY CONSCIOUS... SO MUCH TEA BEING SPILLED... FOCUS... CONCENTRATE

IIDA’S ANGLING HIS HEAD IN A WEIRD WAY, LIKE DUDE. LOOKING SUSPICIOUSLY SNUGGLY THERE. MMM THESE IIDABAKU CRUMBS

HADOU IS ALL “WHAT EVEN IS ACTUALLY GOING ON” LMAO

LASTLY, POOR SHOUTO OMFG. WHEN YOU’RE ALL FINISHED HUGGING CYS-KUN THIS CHILD NEEDS YOUR ATTENTION!!

so now Dabi’s leaping off of this ninety-foot-tall gargoyle man like that’s a normal, smart thing to do. unless he can fly too now? saw his dad doing it back at Fukuoka and was all “hmm”

OH MY GOD SOMEONE TELL ME RIGHT NOW WHAT WORD SHOUTO IS USING TO ADDRESS ENJI, THESE TRANSLATIONS LOVE TO MESS WITH MY HEAD

ENJI GET MOVING DO YOU NOT SEE THOSE TEARS!!! SNAP OUT OF IT YOU BIG TREE

AHHHHH

OH KACCHAN YOU WOKE UP A LITTLE MORE THERE, HUH

lol he and Deku both look so determined but they’re basically sitting ducks. their “oh shit” faces do look remarkably like their “TIME TO SWING INTO ACTION” faces but don’t be fooled, they have one good arm and about six pints of blood left between the two of them. looks like this one’s all on you Shouto

-- AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH --

BAH GOD... WHAT’S GOING ON HERE... THAT’S BEST JEANIST’S MUSIC

y’all. can’t even talk right now, my brain has completely shut down lol. just. ...

  °˖✧◝(￣▿￣)◜✧˖°

[slasherhaven]

Hello, can I make a request for Thomas? Something about him getting bullied/attacked/picked on by either people from the town or coworkers in the factory and physically strong reader standing up for him and openly liking him/finding him handsome? It can lead to a nswf moment or not, and idk if they would know each other personally prior to that... pls female reader if possible. <3 I love your work.

Unfortunately, no NSFW in this one. Just a steamy kiss!

Thomas’ Future S/O defending him against a bully

Word Count: 2311

You had been working at the meat processing plant for a while now, and since your first week you had befriended the silent and mysterious Thomas Hewitt. You first saw him when you were being given your introductory tour, your less than friendly tour guide had pointed him out and told you to just avoid him, but that only made you more curious about him.

You understandably figured that he just wasn't a friendly guy or that he had caused some trouble in the past but you quickly realised that wasn't quite right. You hadn't even finished your first week there when you realised that he wasn't a problem at all, it was actually the others that bothered him all day, while he just remained silent, kept his head down, carried on with his work, and ignored them.

He wasn't the problem, they were.

So, on that Friday, you marched over to his work station at the back of the room and asked him to have lunch with you. He seemed cautious of you, like you must be pulling a prank on him, before agreeing.

From then on, you and Thomas would always have lunch together, and a friendship formed. You carried most of the conversation but eventually he took to scribbling down what he wanted to say on some paper. You weren't sure if he couldn't talk or just didn't talk, either way you didn't mind. You had earned his trust, at least as much as anyone could right now, because you had always been so kind to him. Yes, he had thought it was a joke at first, but he really was starting to realise that you were being sincere. You were his friend.

You were one of the last to check out at the end of the day, often using the time after everyone had left to speak with Thomas some more. You really enjoyed your time together, even if he wasn't the most talkative person, you liked him.

After checking out, you headed back to the work floor, where you saw Thomas finishing up. But with him, was one of the worst offenders when it came to picking on him. One of the men who thought something of himself, thought himself to be better than everyone, especially Thomas.

He was, once again, berating the taller man. You rolled your eyes and walked over to them. "Get outta here, Pete. Ain't you got something better to do?" you sighed, hoping that the man would just leave without argument.

"You don't gotta defend him because you feel bad for him" Pete scoffed, looking Thomas up and down like he was some sort of spectacle.

"I don't feel bad for him, you're just an asshole and nobody should be subjected to having to listen to you" you crossed your arms over your chest.

"Oh come on, it don't bother ya, right?" Pete asked Thomas, acting as if the insults had just been some friendly banter but you knew better than that. "Probably doesn't even understand what I'm saying" he laughed when the other man didn't respond. "He's just some animal" his smile fell, his expression turning darker, as he glared up at him.

"Oh please, he's a better man than you. Smarter, kinder, more empathetic, better looking. You've got nothing on him, Pete" you glared at the man, suddenly becoming defensive over your friend. Your words made Thomas look down at you, shocked by what you had to say and even more by the sincerity.

"Better looking?" Pete scoffed, clearly amused by your compliment. You cringed a little, knowing you had accidently opened the floodgates, so you made sure to speak before he did.

"Have you looked in the mirror lately? I pity your poor wife" you looked him up and down disapprovingly, like the sight of him repulsed you. And in maybe ways it did.

This time, Pete didn't respond, he just glared before taking a step towards you. Though you were quite ready to handle yourself, you just looked up as Thomas moved to stand slightly in front of you, staring down at the man almost threateningly.

Pete looked up at the much taller man, looking like he was considering his chances before deciding that he would definitely lose. So, he backed down, glaring at both of you, before grabbing his coat and heading out of the door. Leaving only you and Thomas on the work floor.

"I hate that guy. I don't know why he's always picking on you" you let out a huff of annoyance as you dropped your arms to your sides.

Thomas turned back to you as you spoke...he could give you a few reasons...

"Thanks for standing up for me just then but you don't need too, I can handle myself. Anyway, I'm used to the men around here, most of them are pigs" your face and voice softened as you looked up at him.

But he still hung his head. 'Most of them are pigs', he's been called much worse but did you see him like that? Women definitely tended to avoid him like the plague, even though he really wasn't a threat to him, they seemed to think he was. Did you think that?

"Wish they were more like you" you chuckled, making him look at you again. You could see the surprise in his eyes and that made you frown a little. "Oh don't look at me like that. You're the best man I've met around here. Trust me, I feel more comfortable around you than our other co-workers" you told him sincerely but he still adverted his gaze, not believing you.

"Hey, come on, I mean it. I'm not messing with you. Y'know I wouldn't do that to you" you frowned a little, gently placing your hands on his arms. He had stopped flinching away from your touch now, something that he used to to regularly. "You need somebody to help you see how good you actually are..." you told him before insisting, "I meant everything I said, y'know."

His gaze met yours, curious but shy. You had noticed that he had rather expressive eyes.

"We both know how people look at you and I hate it because it's so wrong. I hate even more that you believe them" you sighed as you lowered your hands, stepping back to comfortably leaning back against his worktable.

"You are smart, smarter than anyone gives you credit for, all because you don't talk but that doesn't matter" you shook your head in disapproval. "You're kind and caring. You're always so sweet to me even though people can be so cruel to you. You stood up for me back there even though you didn't have too" you pointed out, "and I know you don't think it, that's clear enough to see, but...well, I think you're pretty damn handsome. And I'm sure I've told you that before".

You have...you have told him that before, always so unashamed about finding him attractive, but he always thought you were messing around.

"I know I've never seen you without the mask-" you continued, noticing how he tensed at the mention of the mask, "-but that doesn't bother me. I can see enough of your face to know you're attractive and you have the prettiest eyes I've ever seen" you compliment. A smile gracing your face when you saw his blush over the top of his mask.

Only then, you realised that you were speaking a lot and probably being a little overwhelming. Maybe he wasn't blushing from the flattery but from embarrassment or discomfort and that wasn't what you wanted at all.

"I'm sorry. I'm probably being a lot right now, I didn't want to make you uncomfortable" you apologised but he quickly shook his head to reassure you. "You don't mind it?" you asked and he shook his head again.

"Well, good" you smiled before reaching out and taking one of his larger hands in yours. "This isn't really how I wanted to bring it up, after an argument with some asshole at work, but...I've never lied to you, Thomas. I really do like you" you told him.

He still didn't talk but he did give your hand a small squeeze, a silent 'I like you too' that made you smile before gently guiding him closer to you. He stepped forward cautiously, like he was waiting for you to burst out laughing and for the hidden audience to come out laughing at him for thinking that he could ever have this for even a moment.

"This okay?" even though you knew he wasn't dumb like everyone else seemed to think, you sometimes worried you were taking advantage of him because he didn't talk and tended to just let things happen to him. For somebody so large and intimidating, he could be rather timid around you.

But he nodded.

You let go of his hand but only to place your hands on his shoulders, leaning up on your toes to carefully press a light kiss to his lips, ignoring the feel of the mask. You had actually planned on inviting him around for dinner, rather than approaching this in the middle of the factory, but this would have to do because it felt like the right moment. Oh well.

Thomas' hands instinctively rested on your waist to support you, since you had to strain on your toes to even reach up to him.

You had always found his height attractive but you couldn't deny it was a little bit of an obstacle right now. Thankfully, he also lent down so that you could relax a little and not have to strain so much to meet his lips.

But as quick as your lips touched his, you pulled away again, gaze scanning his face for a reaction.

His hands were still holding your waist, not wanting to move them and alert you to their presence just in case you became aware to them and decided you wanted them off of you, but also not wanting to pull them away and stop touching you.

He felt like his heart was going to burst out of his chest as you wrapped your arms around his neck,  neither of you minding how he lent down for you to be able to do so.

Gaze closely scanning your face, he realised that you were watching him expectantly and Thomas froze up for a moment. You were waiting for him to do something, you wanted him to make the next move. For a moment he didn't think he could but your presence put him at ease, you always did.

You have always been so kind, so honest, and so accepting of him. Whenever you came around with that smile on your face, Thomas couldn't ignore the fuzzy feeling he got inside or the smile on his own face.

So, Thomas lent in again and kissed you.

It felt easy with you, it felt right, like this was what you were supposed to be doing. And he hoped that this was the start of something.

The kiss was a tad more forceful than you had anticipated but you blamed it on pent up emotion, and you weren't complaining at all. In fact, one of your hands moved to the back of his neck to deepen the kiss a little. You just couldn't help yourself.

At first you had control of the kiss, Thomas following your lead, learning from you. But he slowly became more confident. His hold on your waist becoming a little firmer, more sure, and taking the lead in the kiss, making you sigh happily into his mouth.

You guided Thomas a little closer, welcoming him into your personal space, and he moved willingly. He couldn't be close enough to you. He picked up on your eagerness, and even if it confused him, he didn't want to disappoint.

Each time one of you made an attempt to deepen the kiss, the other reciprocated it. The hand, that wasn't on the back of his neck, slipped over his chest and to his waist, wanting to feel more of him.

Both of you were a little surprised when your back hit the table behind you but you couldn't help but smile when Thomas' hands gripped your hips, easily lifting you up and sitting you atop the sturdy table.

Now, Thomas was able to straight up and press his body to yours better. Your arms returned to their place around his neck, sitting as close to the edge of the table as possible so that you could feel his strong form against you.

Maybe the two of you were getting a little carried away considering where you were...

But neither of you could help it. You had been pining after him for a while and Thomas felt the same. Plus, the amount of affection he was feeling and receiving in this moment was just overwhelming to him.

Just as you were completely forgetting where you were, the sound of a door slamming snapped you both out of the moment and made you pull away from each other. Both of you flustered as Thomas took a step away from you, the two of you turning to the sound.

Then the supervisor walked in, seeming surprised to see anyone still here. "What are you two still doing here. Get home, I need to lock up" he was more annoyed by you both than anything but you didn't plan on hanging around much longer.

"Sorry, Boss" you apologised as you grabbed your coat. "C'mon, Tommy, I'll drive you home" you offered as you turned back to him. Thomas nodded without hesitation and followed you out of the building, neither of you noticing the glance you both received from the supervisor.

Smiling up at Thomas, you wrapped your arm around his and guided him to your car. You knew that he usually walked to and from work, but you didn't mind giving him a lift at all.

[recurring-polynya]

i’m gonna try out my luck for the renji bday thing😭

- renji being a mediator between rukia and ichika(idk why i feel like rukia and ichika would get into rly dumb arguments and just fight like they’re the same age)

- renji and ichika get a tattoo

- jealous rukia(of course)

- anything that takes place in inuzuri, i loved your ‘dumb teens stealing kisses’ snippet so much 😭

- more of the tattoo artist renji falls for a client AU

I hope you’ll forgive me for cheating a bit, but when I saw this, I said, “what if I just gave you more of the dumb teens stealing kisses” fic? because honestly, it’s just sitting here.

For people who don’t obsessively follow my incoherent ramblings about my own WIPs, this is an excerpt for i can’t believe i found you in that town, a story that takes place during Renji and Rukia’s last year in Inuzuri. Two out of their three friends have passed away, their powers are growing steadily stronger, and they are starting to face the fact that they aren’t children anymore. I have two more parts of Heart is a Muscle to get through first, so I never work on it, but it is very close to my heart.

PS: This is not going on ao3 at this time, because I really do intend to finish it eventually, so consider this a Tumblr exclusive.

❄    ❄     ❄

In a strange confluence, all three of them have found gainful employment at the same time.

Renji is guarding crates. He does not ask what is in the crates. He does not want to know what is in the crates. He stands next to the crates and his size deters most people. Occasionally, he is called upon to punch someone in the face. It’s good work.

Fujimaru got him this gig, actually. Mameji was good with numbers and he taught Fujimaru a lot, and now Fujimaru has a gig keeping the books for the guys who own the crates. That seems like pretty good work to Renji, too. Fujimaru says he wishes it involved more punching people. Renji wishes his job involved punching fewer people. Everyone’s got complaints.

Rukia has found work in a shop. This is charming and hilarious to both boys. It’s a pawn shop that paradoxically seems to buy about three times as much junk as it sells. It’s obvious that the only reason the owner hired Rukia is because the clientele likes to come in and look at her, but the fact is, she’s an amazing bargainer, and she’s making him a ton of change.

Renji stops in one late afternoon when his own shift is over, and watches her sell a man a knife that looks like it will break if he looks at it funny. She offers to throw in a shitty ball of twine and the man agrees to pay what is easily four times what the knife is worth, and leaves smiling. Amazing.

The shop owner eyes Renji warily. Renji never starts trouble, and he’s even stopped it once or twice, but at the same time, his presence is cramping the appeal of the pretty shopgirl.

“I’m off,” Rukia tells her boss.

“See y’tomorrow,” the seedy man grumbles.

“You don’t get paid every day?” Renji asks Rukia loudly. “I get paid at the end of every shift.”

“She gets paid at the end of the week,” the shopkeeper grouses.

Renji flexes one arm experimentally, admiring his own bicep. “It’s nice getting paid every day. Makes you want to come back the next day, y’know.”

“She comes back every day so she can get paid at the end of the week.”

Rukia’s eyes dart between them.

“Ah, you must be a great boss, very trustworthy,” Renji comments, stretching his back. “Although gettin’ paid every day is a nice way to show trust, too. Hey, Ru, you wanna stop at Takahashi’s on the way home? I heard they got in some dried mackerel and I,” he winks at Rukia’s boss, “got paid today.”

“Pfft,” Rukia huffs, wrapping her shawl around her shoulders. “I’m sure it’s a scam. We need rice, though, and more water.”

“Hey, girl,” Rukia’s boss spits out. “You had a good shift! Here’s your pay for today, as a reward for doing so well. Come back tomorrow, okay?”

“Of course,” Rukia agrees, taking the coins with a sly smile.

As they head out of town, she jabs him in the ribs with her elbows. “You’re so obvious.”

“Got you paid, didn’t I?”

“You did, thank you. He hates you, you know.”

Renji sighs dramatically. “How can I live with myself?”

Rukia snorts. “He’s gross, I hate him. I hate that whole job. Smiling at people. Acting kind to horrible people. It’s so fake. I don’t know why you like working so much, I’d rather just steal.”

“I’ve seen you working, what you do is not much different from stealing.” Renji rubs his hands together. It’s getting cold, especially with the sun setting. “I appreciate the effort, though. I mean, we do. Me and Fujimaru. I like this. Having money, that is. It’s nice.”

Rukia regards him out of the corner of her eye.

“Do you? Do you appreciate it?”

Renji frowns. “Yeah, of course I do. I know you don’t like it.”

Rukia stops walking and turns to him. “C’mere.” She gestures toward herself and makes the pointing motion she does when she wants him to bend down to her level. Even though this results in a cuff to the back of his head more often than not, Renji obeys. “If you really appreciate it, I think you should do something nice for me.”

Renji should know by now to be wary of such an ominous statement, but he falls for it anyway. “Sure. Name it.”

“I want to kiss you again.”

Renji tugs at his ponytail. “Again? Really?”

It was probably six years between the first and second time she had wanted to kiss him, but the second time had only been a few months ago, last spring, after he broke his arm saving her from a large, angry man she had attempted to pickpocket.

“You said you were open to the idea,” Rukia scowled.

“I...did,” Renji stammered. To be fair, he had been in immense pain at the time and probably would have agreed to just about anything. He could have used that as an excuse. It seemed like Rukia was thinking the same, he could tell she was already getting herself wound up to be hurt at his rejection. That stung a little, the idea that she expected so little of him. “No problem. Anything for you. Go for it.” He bent his knees a little deeper and squeezed his eyes shut, bracing for impact.

“You gotta relax a little, man, it’s not a punch in the nards,” Rukia scolded, grabbing ahold of his ears and laying one on him.

Renji didn’t fantasize about kissing girls. He liked girls well enough, but he liked guys more. There was one exception to that rule, and that was Rukia. He liked her more than anyone. It wasn’t right to fantasize about Rukia, though, in his opinion, because he lived with her and it wasn’t respectful and also… also, if he spent too much time thinking about things like kissing her, he might want to do it. So, he avoided the slippery slope of girls in general, and restricted his spicy kissing fantasies to the lean, knife-eyed Rukongai punks that hung out on street corners and had really sexy ways of saying “heeeeeey.” Renji was perpetually working on his “heeeeeeys.”

But Rukia was kissing him now, and it seemed equally disrespectful to pretend she wasn’t. Her lips were soft against his, and curious. Her fingers relaxed their painful grip on his ears and snuck around to rest on the back of his neck. She must have been keeping her hands in her sleeves, because they were warm, and they felt so good and this was good, this was so, so good and it occurred to Renji that maybe he was meant to kiss her back, she had never mentioned anything about--

“There, that wasn’t so bad, was it, Abarai?” Rukia was saying.

It was over.

Renji blew air out his cheeks. “Naw, it was fine. Ah, did you, uh… was it everything you hoped and dreamed?”

“It was okay,” she shrugged, but her eyes twinkled. She started walking again and Renji had to do a little skip and a jump to catch up. “Fujimaru’s probably home already. How come he didn’t come with you to pick me up?”

“Oh, there were extra crates today, so he’s working late. But we can have the rice ready and surprise him!”

“Mm, yes, that sounds nice,” Rukia agreed. She hummed a little as she walked. “Hey, Renji?”

“Yeah?”

“Back at the shop-- did you call me Ru? What was that?”

Renji made a face. “I dunno. I thought it was cute.” You’re cute, his brain added, and suddenly, he couldn’t unsee it. She was unbearably cute, wrapped up in her shawl, that little piece of hair hanging between her eyes, those beautiful eyes. “If you don’t like it, I’ll--”

“You’ve known me for nine years and you decide, just now, to give me a nickname?”

He shrugged. “Things can change, right? Even out here in the ass end of Rukongai?”

She regarded him for a moment. “It is cute. I will allow it, but only from you, and don’t do it around gross people like my greasy boss.”

“Yeah, no prob,” he agreed, squeezing his hands under his armpits. He had a bad feeling that they were in for a brutal winter this year.

“Hey!” Rukia said, and he realized she was holding out his hand to him. Gingerly, he took it, hoping she wouldn’t mind his own cold fingers. She didn’t seem to.

[allthingskakashi]

Hi! Coul a request a scenario that involves Sukea please? Like the reader has a crush on Kakashi and he finds out because her friends tease her in front of sukea and then Kakashi asks her on a date idk if I’m making a point, or can just do anything you wish that involves him pleasee? Thank you ♥️

Okay first of all, that's a really innovative idea!! I loved it. Secondly, I'm sorry it took me so long to get to this but ahh well here it is now and i really hope you like it ❤️

• Serendipity •

[Kakashi x Reader] || 3k words

a/n : ugh tbh I've been running a little low on creativity lately which is why i hadn't posted anything for like a week but i also didn't wanna go without writing anything so well... I tried. 😩

You sit in the small dumpling restaurant with your friends Kurenai and Anko. Beyond you, the falling dusk envelopes your village in mystical hues of blue and red. It’s Friday, which means the weekend has rolled in after a long and tiresome week. The thought of being off duty for the next two days lifts your spirits, and you look forward to spending the time relaxing at home in your own company.

The evening is busy, streets bustling, vibrant with the hustle of villagers; some heading for a night out with friends, some returning home to spend time with family, some getting ready to go out on a date, everyone looking like they have somewhere to be, something to do.

You sigh, shoving a dumpling in your mouth.

“Why the long face?”, Anko asks between chomps.

“It’s nothing” you shrug, your tone failing to fool anyone.

There’s a soft creak as the gate to the shop opens behind you, a small gust of air whooshing in from outside. The merry chatter in the room comes to a sudden halt, to be replaced by sounds of hushed murmurs and whispers. You glance at the group of women sitting in the table ahead of you, staring at something with mouths open wide in awe. Ahead of you, Anko’s eyebrows are furrowed, a curious smile touching the corner of her lip.

You turn behind, wanting to catch a glimpse of whatever it is that has managed to elicit such a response from the entire room.

Your eyes fall upon a handsome young man, who has just now walked into the restaurant and taken a seat behind you. You feel your heart skip a beat. He’s easily one of the most handsome men you’ve ever seen. A mop of thick brown hair adorns his head, a tint of purple on his eyelids and stripes of the same colour running across both cheeks. His face is sharp with an angled jawline and he has on a long trench coat with a scarf around his neck. He’s also holding a camera, you notice.

Probably an outsider.

A waitress walks over to him, standing by him and twirling a curl of hair, visibly enchanted by his charms.

Someone thumps the front of your table, startling you. “Jeez y/n, get a grip!” Anko’s voice brings your attention back to your friends as you finally tear your eyes away from the mysterious man in the table behind you.

“What? I wasn’t checking him out” you sputter, unnerved.

“We didn’t say you were”, Kurenai chimes in.

You feel your face getting hot as red tinges your cheeks and you look away, avoiding your friends’ eyes.

“Hey, why don’t you go talk to him? Maybe ask him out?” Kurenai says, her eyes lighting up.

You open your mouth to say something, but Anko cuts in.

“Because she’d rather sit around pining for Kakashi and doodling his name on her diary. How long has it been now? 7 years?”

Kurenai giggles, but puts a comforting arm around your shoulder.

“Alright now, go easy on her”, she says kindly. “But she’s got a point y/n. You and Kakashi have known each other for a long time. You’ve kept your feelings to yourself for years now, I really think it’s time you go out and do something about it. Who knows, maybe he feels the same way about you. Why don’t you give it a shot?”

You let out another sigh and look at your lap. “I just don’t think it’s the right time yet.”

But that was a lie. You’d had feelings for Kakashi ever since you were a teenager. You had always been friends, but you wanted more. You loved being in his company and you had a lot of mutual respect and admiration for each other. But you could never bring yourself to just say the words to Kakashi. There were times when you almost blurted it out, and times when you felt like maybe he felt the same way about you too… but they may have been delusions, for all you knew. You didn’t know anything for certain. And that’s what stopped you from gathering up the courage to say it to him. You told yourself and your friends who knew that you would someday, when the time is right, but it was all a big fat lie. You were scared, and that was the truth, as much as you hated to admit it.

You watch Anko roll her eyes as Kurenai exhales, tilting her head.

“Y/n…It’ll never be the right time. Just do it. You’ve taken down S-rank criminals, you can handle this. Trust me, even the copy ninja can’t resist THAT” Kurenai cheers, grazing her eyes up and down over you with a suggestive smile, her voice encouraging. You chuckle, waving your hand dismissively in embarrassment.

“Look”, Anko interjects in her matter-of-fact voice. “Kakashi’s a wuss. If you wanna get it on with him, you gotta make the move. He’s even worse than you so pussy up and ask him. If I have to hear another of your lovelorn sighs one more time, I’ll go tell him myself.” She says, shoving her last dumpling in her mouth and gulping down a glass of water.

You’d been friends with Anko long enough to know not to put it past her. Besides, they were right. It HAD been very long. Perhaps you really did need to pussy up.

Ughhhhh. Why couldn’t this be easier?

“Anyway, I’m gonna go hit the bar. Any of you suckers wanna join me?” Anko asks, getting up from her chair.

“I can’t. I invited my team over for dinner tonight so I’ll get going.”, Kurenai says, collecting her purse and getting ready to leave as well.

“It’s okay, you guys go. I’ve got some things to do” you say, waving them off.

You watch your friends go out the exit and disappear along the curve of the street. Truth is, you kind of want to be alone, maybe take a walk around the village, gather your thoughts. This conversation with your friends today stirred something in you and you need time to think. You’d let things go on as they were for very long now, but it was time you took matters in your own hands.

Putting the bill down on the table, you head towards the door. Your eyes fall where the man was sitting but the seat is empty now, and you catch him ahead of you, just a few steps away, also heading towards the door. You stand close behind him, clutching your purse to your rib as he opens the door. His elbow juts out, knocking the bag out of your hand as it falls to the ground.

For a quick second you think it’s a thief and you’re almost about to strike a blow but the man crouches down quickly with an “I’m so sorry”, picking your purse up and holding it out to you.

Up close this way, you can see his eyes. There’s something familiar about them but you can’t put your finger on what it is. “Thanks” you mutter, taking the purse from him, your mind still trying to comprehend why this man you’ve never seen before feels so familiar.

“Are you a tourist? I don’t think I’ve seen you around here before”, you ask, concealing the suspicion in your tone.

Your village is a small one and almost every face is familiar. Having a visitor in the village is quite unheard of and your instincts tell you that something feels off.

He clears his throat before answering. “Hi, I’m Sukea. I’m a reporter from the Land of Fire. I’m here to conduct research for an article” the man replies, almost in an automated tone but with a smile that immediately softens his features. He’s got a mole under his bottom lip, you notice.

Gosh, that’s a pretty face.

Before you have the chance to say anything else or ask more questions, he mumbles that he’s getting late for something and turns away, hurrying down the street.

You stand there, watching him go.

Weird.

But you’ve got other things to think about now, decisions to make, so you shake the thoughts of this mystery man off your head, although you can’t help mulling over why he felt so eerily familiar.

You walk down your usual route in the quieter part of the village. Walks always somehow help you clear your mind.  The air has cooled down now and there’s a slight chill in the air. A sweet smell of flowers wafts through. You lose track of time walking around the entire village, over the cliff, through the forests, by the stream which shimmers under the moonlight.

It’s almost ten by the time you reach home and the walk makes your calves ache. Probably wasn’t such a good idea to go on such a long walk after injuring yourself on your last mission.

You freshen up and throw yourself down on your bed, glad for the two days of rest that awaits you.

Pulling the blanket over your head, you turn to your side and close your eyes. Kakashi’s face appears almost instantly, the images playing a montage in your head.

His smile that makes buds bloom into flowers… his laughter so pure like a young boy’s…his silver hair which sparkles in the sun, making you want to run your fingers through it… the warmth of his voice when he talks to you-- and suddenly something goes off in your brain. Like a flame igniting. Or rather, a long burning flame finally receiving emancipation. There’s a jolt through your veins and you think—Tomorrow. I’ll tell him tomorrow.

And before you have time to process the sudden thought, languor takes over your body, lulling you to sleep.

You’re up early the next morning, the jolt from last night still coursing through your veins. You’re feeling pretty confident, more than you ever have. Today’s the day you tell him.

But first, you have to head over to the Missions Desk to submit your report. You bash yourself for putting it off till now.

The day outside is beautiful, white cotton clouds floating aimlessly across the azure sky. A pleasant breeze tickles your skin in soft whispers.

You reach the main office and submit your file. The room is empty, except for the people working behind the desks. The man in front of you takes your file, checking the date of your mission and you’re sure you can see a look of judgement flash across his eyes.

You almost feel a little guilty.

“You know, all the other jounins have submitted their reports already” he mutters, not looking up from your file.

“Well actually…”

There’s a voice behind you, and you turn around at the sheepish tone of the familiar voice. Your heart instantly paces up. Kakashi. There’s a file in his hand too. You can’t help the smile that escapes.

You look at him as he comes forward, handing his file over. The man shoots him a similar glance and shakes his head, but doesn’t say anything. You can tell that this must not be the first time. Kakashi smiles sweetly at him, before turning away and looking at you.

“Y/n! Didn’t think I’d run into you here…”

Your blood pounds in your ears as you recall the resolve you made to yourself last night. You’d promised yourself you’d tell him today but right now, in this way? You weren’t ready for this. You hadn’t prepared what you were gonna say, or how you’d say it. A hundred thoughts run through your head.

Hell with my resolve. This really isn’t the right time. I can’t do this.

But on the other hand…

Your brain goes at odds with your heart as you realise you haven’t answered Kakashi yet.

“You okay?” he asks, his voice concerned.

You straighten up, composing yourself.

“Oh hey yeah, I’m fine! I’m great. What’re you upto?”

“Just got a few things I need to do”, he shrugs, walking beside you as the two of you come out of the office into the main corridor of the Hokage Mansion.

“Right. Got any missions this weekend?” you ask, stalling to give yourself time to think clearly.

“Nope. You?”

“No. You?”

“You already asked me”, he chuckles. “So uh. Where are you headed?”

Ugh. This is a disaster.

“Just the market. I… I need to buy fish for dinner”

You feel your palms getting clammy as the air starts to feels too tight. You look at Kakashi out of the corner of your eye and you notice.

He looks nervous too. He’s fidgeting with his hands and there’s something strange about him.

“Well…uh” he stutters, rubbing his neck with his hand before looking at you. “maybe you don’t.”

You look up at him, your eyes wide and face scrunched up in confusion. You’re outside the tower now, standing on the street.

“I…don’t?”

He scratches the back of his head.

“Uh…I mean…I’ve got fish.”, he stammers. There’s a very visible tint of red on his cheeks.

You’re utterly wrapped in confusion by now, and you wonder why he’s acting so strange. Unsure of where he’s getting with that, you say, “Um…That’s nice. Where do you buy fish from? I’ve heard the market by the Temple is good for seafood. I haven’t had the chance to try it out myself though.”

Mother Earth please swallow me whole.

Kakashi lets out a nervous laugh, still fidgeting around with his hands and looking everywhere but directly at you.

“Y/n what I’m saying is…maybe you don’t need to buy fish for dinner because” he looks at you from under his shaggy bangs,which fall over his eyes in the absence of his headband. The tint of his cheeks deepens. “well, because I was thinking maybe you could come over…and I could…cook dinner for the both of us...? Or um go out, whatever you’d like” he says, immediately looking away.

You’d never thought it was possible for the calm and cocky Kakashi Hatake to look this nervous. It’s quite a sight. You might have laughed at it if you weren’t just as nervous yourself.

“Like on a date?” you ask, shock evident in your tone. Your heart is battering in your chest.

This is a very, very surprising turn of events.

“Well…yes”, he breathes, barely meeting your eyes now.

You can hear your heart in your ears. And suddenly, it feels like spring has bloomed inside your heart. Not just your heart but everywhere around you. Like you’ve been transported to a meadow and there’s only flowers and rainbows and butterflies all around.

A breeze passes through, sending a few petals from nearby trees floating along the street. Strands of your hair blow into your eyes.

You sweep them away, looking up at him to see him looking at you, his eyes hopeful, waiting.

You meet his gaze with your burning eyes and smile, tucking another loose strand behind your ear.

“I’d love that” you say before looking down, your tone barely containing the ecstasy you feel within. You feel the chirp of a thousand birds singing inside your heart.

His eyes light up, mouth forming into a grin as you see the muscles on his face relaxing visibly.

Kakashi’s eyes crinkle from the smile and he says, “Well then…I’ll see you for dinner.”

He starts walking away, before turning back and calling out “Oh and yes, I do buy my fish from the market by the temple.”

And with that, he turns away grinning, disappearing with a whoosh, leaving you to stand there, still in shock and gaping after him; wondering which stars had aligned, what forces in the universe had conjoined and what twist of fate had occurred, turning your life around, making you the happiest woman in the world, in the span of just one day.

                                 *     *     *

Aaand a lil bonus addition :-

It’d been around two months that you and the silver haired jounin of the Leaf had been together. Almost everyone in the village knew by now and it had been two months of pure unadulterated bliss. You fit so well together, it felt as if you’d never been apart.

Today was just another lazy afternoon, with you and Kakashi in bed, entangled in each other’s arms, neither one of you wanting to leave your little heaven on earth.

You intertwine your fingers with Kakashi’s, backing into him so you’re pressed against the warmth of his body.

“Hey, Kakashi?” you whisper.

“Hm?” he replies, sleep mangling his voice.

“I’ve always wondered. Why did you ask me out that day? You told me you’d liked me for a long time too. So… why not before? Why that day?”

He chuckles softly into your hair, pulling you closer with his arm.

“Well” he says, almost in a whisper. “I thought it was time I stopped being a wuss.”

“Huh?”

“It had been a really long time and… I thought it was time to, how do I put this, pussy up.” he says into your neck, his voice calm, but with just a tinge of amusement.

WAIT A MINUTE-

You jerk up on the bed, freeing yourself of his grip and turning to face him.

A subtle smile plays across his lips but his face is tranquil, giving nothing away.

Panic rises in you and you shake his arm vigorously. “KAKASHI! HOW-HOW DO YOU KNOW ABOUT THAT?”

He doesn’t stir, eyes closed tight, pretending to be sleeping.

“KAKASHI TELL ME RIGHT NOW” you continue shaking him, but it’s in vain, the man doesn’t stir.

You sigh, replaying the day from two months ago in your head, ravaging your brain for any possible hint. And just like that, it dawns upon you.

“Oh my god—That was you.” You blurt, everything suddenly clicking into place in your head. You feel like a fool for not realising sooner.

He remains unmoving, eyes closed shut. But you don’t miss the slight wrinkle of his mask as his lips upturn into a grin beneath it.

“That was you, wasn’t it??? It was! You sneaky little bastard!” you shriek, jabbing at his arm with a few pokes, but it does nothing.

“Kakashi!”

“Ssshh, I’m sleeping” he whispers in fake slumber, a smile grazing his mouth as he wraps his arm around you, pulling you back into the bed with him.

“Did you really just shush m- “ you begin in protest, but your sentence remains unfinished as he presses his mouth onto yours, catching your lips in a kiss and shutting you up before you can say more.

[fandomfluffandfuck]

Hi!! 💞 anon bc I just read ur post 🥺 thank you so much for your thoughts!! It kinda helped clear my head a bit as to what I want in general, and you kinda re-stated something I had told myself but forgotten a little bit? About just generally letting partners know “hey, I could be into some different things involving sex, but it could also be that I don’t want that, or I want something in between, idk!”

And that thought has always been so nice bc (1) it’ll let them know where my head is at, (2) let them know I’m kinda wary about sexual stuff in general and don’t wanna go all in, and (3) just to check in with each other :). I think that’s one of my favorite parts about reading kinkier stuff or dom/sub stuff, is that generally the harder the kinks and kinksters are the more boundaries and safewords are discussed. I’ve never talked to or seen someone in kink that wasn’t very aware of their own or their partners boundaries!

Also, I really appreciate your talk on queerness! I’m queer myself, so it was nice to kinda be seen in a “you’re not alone” light. It’s like I think one thing about my gender or my sexuality, but then the next minute my brains like “omg are you SURE” so it leads me to freak out a little sometimes 🙃 but yeah!! I really appreciated your words and sometimes it’s nice to be reminded that we can trust our brains to make good decisions more than it feels 😂 it’s taken me for a rollercoaster this week. And totally! Reading and experiencing are two different things, and while there are plenty of things I’d love to try with a partner I trust, there are equally plenty of things I’d never wanna do in real life with anyone lol. It’s also nice talking to someone who knows a bit more about kinks bc it reaffirms to me that you can wanna read about something really kinky without doing it, or that sometimes kinks don’t have to have some huge meaning, they can just be something you like or wanna try!! I’m not actively dating rn bc of Covid, but if I do start and I get into some kinky stuff, I’ll be sure to tell you how it goes lol! Thank you for all your advice, you’re so sweet and I really appreciate it!! Sometimes we just need our brains to calm down and breathe for a sec, ya know? 🥰

- grateful grateful 💞 anon

related to this

Hi again sweetheart! And yeah, of course, any time

Yeah, yeah it's always good to hear your thoughts rephrased and repeated back to you because sometimes you don't even register what you're saying if you're speaking about something you're in between on or unsure of. Yeah! Gotta communicate HARD sometimes lol.

Yeah, its the best part of kink, all those safewords and safe actions and boundaries and shit. To the point where, if you don't have all those things happening but you're still doing an activity that would qualify as a kink... that's not kink. That's something else. Kink is: safe 👏 sane 👏 and 👏 consensual 👏

Aw, yeah, I'm glad that part was still interesting lol. Oof yeah, self discovery and self knowledge are hard. That's what experimentation is for though! Yes yes you gotta trust your brain and your heart.

Mmm-hmm, yeah, I feel that. There's kinks that on paper and wonderful but in real life I'm meh over or just downright like, nope, not in real life.

Yeah! Exactly. The first step to kink is interest and then education. Sometimes education is reading books about kink, sure, but sometimes education is looking at fiction- not because it's correct in technique but because it can teach you what you like or don't like within the kink.

I will be happy to hear your experiences when/if they happen! Yeah, totally! And of course, it may not be good advice but I can type an awful lot, just look at the word counts on my fics 🤣

Exactly too, sometimes you need to stop thinking and breathe. Also, sometimes you gotta wack your brain with a rolled up news paper, like, no! Stop! That!

<3

[botheredbuck]

hi hello my name is leo and here’s the post that literally no one asked for about how three by sleeping at last is written for one evan buckley (with lyric references!)

maybe i’ve done enough  and your golden child grew up 

listen this is literally about the buckley parents. he spent so long trying to be the perfect son for his parents, trying to solve whatever he’d done to them, trying desperately to just be enough for them and breaking himself in the process. he literally tore himself apart trying to be just something to them. he talks to maddie when he visits her in the hospital (in buck begins) about them thinking he’s a loser and literally begs her to believe him when he says he’s going to be something one day. that’s the effect his parents had on him. and when his parents come back in what’s your grievance/buck begins and he finally gets to tell them how they made him feel his whole life, and that convo with them at the end of buck begins, i think that’s the beginning of him kind of being able to say i’ve grown up now, and yeah what you did will always hurt me but i can move past it now, because i have my own family, i’ve found somewhere where i actually belong. and with the 118, he doesn’t have to be that golden child 

(sure, there’s the protective, kinda mentoring instinct between him and bobby that we see a lot through the early parts of season one especially, but even with that there’s never this expectation that buck’s gotta be perfect - gotta be the golden child. bobby’s trying to help him be a better firefighter and grow as a person but there’s never that pressure that there was with his parents. 

oh and hey maybe that’s why the lawsuit happens because the whole thing about bobby holding him back feels too much like his parents underestimating him, never believing in him (they think i’m a total loser maddie, and i’m not, i’m not okay- i’m gonna be something, i just- don’t know what yet) and it’s hard beause bobby has never made him feel like that but it’s just a little too close)

maybe this trophy isn’t real love 

this lyric. i do not give it enough appreciation but holy fuck. okay but, its like- it fits well with this whole idea that buck grew up with that he always had to deserve love, yanno? like his parents’ neglect basically taught him that he had to be putting himself in danger and hurting himself to be worth even attention. and it’s like- with the 118, he’s finally getting to realise that maybe that’s not how love is supposed to work. he’s been brought up with the idea that he needs to work for this love because otherwise if he’s not good enough people will leave. and this doesn’t even finish with his parents. this goes all the way through to abby, to ali. he has this deep rooted fear that if he’s not good enough then people will leave him, because that’s all he’s really had. and then this lyric- it’s like, him realising that this version of love that his parents fed him isn’t real love, isn’t how parents should love their kids, or how families should care for each other. and it’s just buck’s realisation that this tokenistic love isn’t something that he has to settle for, because it’s not real love. 

and with or without it i’m good enough maybe i’ve done enough 

this kinda carries on from the first point but it’s like, buck finally getting to realise that he doesn’t need his parents love to be worth shit. like his whole childhood he was just trying to be what his parents wanted in the desperate hope that they would see him. and now he’s found this place he really belongs and in the 118 he’s found these people he really belongs with, and it’s like- suddenly he doesn’t need to try- doesn’t need to work to be loved. and it’s like, he’s realising that he doesn’t need to change himself to be worth shit. 

a mess of a story i’m ashamed to tell  but i’m slowly learning how to break this spell 

this- it’s just- the whole thing about buck getting therapy in s4. for so long he’s not really talked to anyone about the shit he’s been through, like even we see in what’s your grievance that the 118 basically know nothing about the buckleys. because buck doesn’t even talk about his past to them really, because he’s so ashamed of it. but him finally being able to go to therapy and work on it, it’s like- he’s slowly learning how to undo all this shit that his parents drilled into him, like about him never being good enough and about him having to work for their love and attention and change himself. and he’s finally learning, with therapy and with the 118 reteaching him all this shit about love (and not even romantic, like buddie is a whole other thing don’t even get me started, like familial love), how to get past his parents and realise that he is worthy of love, regardless of anything else. 

and i finally see myself  through the eyes of no one else 

oh shit but this is important and all right. like. it’s just a little thing but it’s like, buck trying to move on from letting what other people thought of him control him. i think this is something that he’s working on, and something that comes with time, because i think it’s something we see a lot throughout the show. i think it kinda contributes to the whole buck 1.0 thing, like sure a lot of why he wants to move on from ‘buck 1.0′ is about moving on and being a better man and stuff but i think it’s also this thought of being embarrassed of himself, almost? idk but look he has a lot of issues with seeing himself as good enough without the influence of others and i think this lyric links a lot to that. 

now i only want what’s real to let my heart feel what it feels 

again this fits with the whole therapy thing as well but it’s like- throughout the show he’s always been a very heart-on-his-sleeve kinda guy. like that’s just who he is. but like this- to let my heart feel what it feels - its like about him being allowed to be proud of how far he’s come and everything he’s been through with his parents and even after that. and its about him allowing himself to love unashamedly and without fear of people abandoning him, and not like letting that fear stop him from loving. and like yeah im gonna touch on buddie here bc like, it’s like after all this shit, everything that the two of them have been through, it’s like, that line is like him letting himself feel that for eddie, whatever it is. because for so long he’s not let himself get that connection after abby because she hurt him like that and he’s not let himself have this connection with eddie out of fear that it’s not going to be reciprocated or tat he’s a terrible person for falling in love with his best friend or some shit but it’s like- that line is like him allowing himself to feel that, and like that just being okay? like he’s finally getting to accept that he’s fallen in love with this increibleman and his incredible son and the life that he’s built with them, and like it’s about buck falling in love with that life and trusting that it’s not going to disappear from under his feet. and that takes buck a lot of courage because he’s only ever had people that left. and so he’s finally letting his heart feel , and letting his heart guide him, because he deserves it. 

and like even out of a buddie context, with the rest of the 118, it still applies. this shit about letting his heart feel what it feels, it’s like- letting himself believe that this life is something that he can have, that he can settle into, that he can keep. it’s like- he can love these people, and not have to see them leave. and that’s a revolutionary thing for buck, but it’s so freeing. 

and leave my greatest failures on display  with an asterisk  worthy of love anyway

holy fuck this is like, my favourite lyric ever okay but again it’s this idea that he has to work to be loved. he has to fight for attention and for appreciation and for love and like this lyric, it’s about him being able to move on from that and realise that he’s worthy of love at his rawest, without all this work and putting himself at risk. and sure im going back on my buddie bullshit for this but like- it’s eddie that makes him realise this. sure it’s the influence of the whole 118 and maddie and shit but it’s eddie most of all. eddie, who has dealt with his bullshit first hand (the whole jealousy thing in 2x01) and come through it by his side, still wanting to be his friend. eddie, who appreciates him and helps him and supports him and trusts him with his son. eddie, who forgives him, even when, yeah, sometimes he doesn’t need forgiving but then it’s eddie that tells him that (the post-tsunami stuff at the end of 3x03) and reassures him that he’s worthy. eddie, who fights by him and for him and desperately, constantly, tries to make him realise he’s so much more than what his parents deem him to be. eddie, who tells him that he doesn’t have to apologise just for existing and expecting the bare minimum of love from his parents (the boxing scene in - i think? - 4x04). eddie, who fights to get back to him. eddie, who trusts him so much with christopher that he’ll change his will for him. eddie, that loves him. right at his rawest, without all that work, with all his greatest failiures on display. because it’s eddie who’s seen most of that shit, and it’s eddie who’s stayed. who’s made him realise he’s worthy of love, anyway. 

...um

thank you for coming to my ted talk listen to three by sleeping at last and tell me that there is at least some sense in this pls im driving myself up the wall istg

[arsenicpanda]

Just saw your reply to my Bh gifs question, can’t wait then! I’m not a multi shipper so this season has been long lol.

What are your thoughts about Betty talking about how she feels she is addicted to Jughead last episode? I haven’t seen your take on this and I always like to see different takes on those scenes. Not the Bughead part if you don’t want to go there I guess lol, but mostly about Betty’s trauma and her.

Oh yeah, I’m sure this season has been rough if you’re only into bughead, like I do not envy that experience.

For the record, before I start, I haven’t really read anyone’s takes on this, just talked about it with friends, so idk how this fits into the greater discourse outside of some shitposts I've seen. Anyway, let’s head to under the cut:

As for Betty, I think she is peak Not Doing Great, Bob. It’s good that she seems to intellectually know her problem, but not great that she’s doing nothing to fix it. A friend of mine likened the situation to previous versions of Betty being very Batman-esque in her pursuit of criminals and justice, but post-time skip Betty more resembles the more violent Thomas Wayne version of Batman from Flashpoint, and, ok, I don’t know a lot about that version of Batman, but it sounds right from what little I do know. I might bug her into making a post about it sometime, idk. But Betty's attitude and willingness to use violence have really changed--she's much more compulsive about it, and she doesn't fear using violence and how that might be her "darkness" manifesting anymore, and idek when that happened or how or why, although I wish they'd tell us. Like, Betty's at a point where I'm kinda worried she's gonna turn into the Punisher.

But Betty has a very flat affect through that conversation--she has a flat affect in general post-time skip, tbh--and like...I am Worried about her. Every time I think Betty’s reached rock bottom, she takes out a shovel and goes “nah, not far enough down, gotta keep going,” like, bby, please stop. She is very much allergic to emotions this season, just absolutely hates them and wants nothing to do with them, and I am Concerned for her. I also hate her “I should be taking care of my mom” like no!! Betty, it’s not your job to take care of your mother! You have to take care of yourself first, and also you shouldn’t be parenting your mom! God, the fact that this is never presented as a bad thing pisses me off so much.

Anyway, it’s a very interesting conversation because it’s very honest, the most honest we’ve seen Betty be all season, but it’s also very detached, but also very nonjudgmental. Like, s1-4 Betty would have been all !!! about Jughead drinking after the “I’m an alcoholic” reveal, but this Betty just...has no reaction? You could interpret it as either “well, I’m not going to judge the backslide because I'm not doing so great myself” or “ok, I don’t really care”, and I lean toward the former, but I’m not a fan of the fact that the latter is even a possible interpretation.

I am worried that Betty’s emptiness will be attributed to being apart from Jughead because, like...that’s not a great dynamic, if they can’t function as regular humans at all without each other. “We help each other be our best selves because we inspire and help each other”, which previous bughead was, is very different from “without each other we can’t function at all and just kind of suck”, like the former is romantic and the latter is depressing. Idk, it goes back to my beef with this season that everyone is miserable and shittier as people; I think all the characters should have been moderately successful and happy enough, and then when they’re back together it’s like...yeah, this is what makes things the best they can be, this fits more than anything else. The difference between “good enough” and “ideal”, B tier vs SSS tier, basically.

I will say, I’m also not thrilled about the “Betty is addicted to these investigations” thing, because it kind of means that, in order for Betty to live a happy, well-adjusted life, she has to stop investigating stuff, and I think that’s absolute horseshit. Like, it’s an interesting take, sure, but it ultimately has a boring outcome, and therefore I hate it. Like, it would have been more Betty-esque to have Betty struggling to fit herself in the “Perfect FBI Agent” box as a way to prevent her “darkness” from interfering with her job, and then have her realize that that’s not who she is or how she functions and she needs to quit, because Betty’s struggle always includes who she thinks she should be vs who she fears she is vs who she actually is.

I do kinda love broken, dysfunctional bughead though, they’re pretty fun to watch, just two disasters careening through life, that would have been really fun to spend a season watching, but Jughead’s on the mend now, so that’s kind of not on the table anymore, alas.

Ok, that was super ramble-y, but I think I got my thoughts in? Hopefully it makes sense and doesn't jump around too much. Idk, if there’s anything else you want me to cover, just ask.