#idk how to tag stuff yet so any help is welcomed here

[rockingbytheseaside]

(tw: lil bit of blood) ✦ Happy Valentine's Day from your dear Doctor! 🫀

[bueris]

okay maybe I should seriously reconsider my path in life and sell my soul to marketing or journalism instead

[runningfrom2am]

leveling the playing field X

summary: with nowhere else to go after getting caught cheating to help lucy gray, you both make some desperately stupid decisions.

pairing: coriolanus snow x fem!reader

wc: 3.1k

tags/warnings: capitol brat!reader, maybe slightly ooc coryo, idk i tried my best. do they love each other or hate each other? who knows (we do, kind of). implications and mentions of abuse, so read with caution!! also a little bit of swearing but that's neither here nor there

masterlists // nav // requests

a/n: hi all!! i have some slightly annoying news (I'm so sorry) but i think i have to close my taglist for this fic and for other coryo stuff (which i am working on bc I've seen the requests!!) bc its gone up almost 150 people and i can only tag 50 people per post and it is SO much work to tag everyone individually even after i paste them in and i don't want to have to reblog it 2 or 3 times to tag everyone :(. I'm so sorry like i said ik its annoying but if you'd like to be the first to know ab new parts and you're not already in my taglist, feel free to turn on my post notifs!! that way you'll also see everything else including my asks ab the fic where i answer more questions and we talk theories and all that fun stuff :)

next part

Coriolanus was having a hard time adjusting to the life of a peacekeeper, but he was getting there. He sent off that letter for you almost as soon as he arrived, but was yet to receive a response so that seemed like an answer enough. He had to forget you, especially if he wasn't going back to the Capitol anytime soon.

He was homesick, to say the very least. Both of his bunkmates were out, likely working, but he didn't care much to know exactly where. He was just relieved to have a moment to himself to wallow in his self-pity, chest constricting tighter and tighter with every breath.

A door slammed shut down the hall, followed quickly by his own door opening- at which he held his breath. He had to get it together.

"Is this bunk taken?" Someone asks, a voice not belonging to either of his bunkmates, but he recognizes it nonetheless.

He shot up straight, taking in the appearance of the boy in front of him. "Sejanus!" He had never been happier to see his classmate, hopping out of his top bunk to quickly give him a hug.

"This is a surprisingly warm welcome for someone who almost got you killed." Sejanus chuckled, hugging him back.

Coryo laughs slightly, pulling away and grabbing his shoulders. "Oh, no. Quite the opposite. What are you doing here?"

"About the same as you." He shrugs, sliding his things under the bed below Coryo's. "They were going to expel me, but my dad paid them for my grad certificate and let them send me here. They got a new gym on the condition that they let us both graduate."

Coryo should be relieved, but a graduation certificate doesn't matter much if he's stuck here for the next twenty years. "And Y/N/N?" He asks.

"Y/N?" Sejanus asks, lifting his head back in confusion. "What about her?"

"Did she graduate too?"

"I... I don't know, I didn't know she was in trouble. We were told she was sick."

Coriolanus's stomach drops. That's a story he'd certainly heard before, and he didn't like at all how that ended. He swallows, nodding a little bit as he looks at the floor. "So you didn't see her at all?"

"No... Not since the last time I saw you." Sejanus states. It had been a few weeks now. "But, her mother came to our door a week or so ago, real early in the morning. Ma shooed me away but I heard them talking, it seemed like she didn't know where Y/N was either. She was looking for her, wondering if any of us had seen her."

Again, this is what Coryo had seen before with what happened to Clemensia. Her parents weren't allowed to see her at all while she was in the hospital. "I think she's dead." He admits.

"What? What makes you say that?" His friend gasps.

"I... I heard her screaming when I left our meeting with Highbottom." Coriolanus explains. "At first it was normal Y/N screaming, you know, but then it got worse and worse until it just... stopped." He hoped Sejanus would change his story, that he would remember seeing you at school or on the streets or at one of your parent's obnoxious parties, having a good time, and being yourself. That maybe he had just forgotten, but the look on Sejanus's face tells him that didn't happen.

It was Sejanus's turn to look down now, giving a solemn nod. "I mean, no." He laughs suddenly, shaking his head. "They wouldn't kill her on campus- if you could hear it, she's not dead. They wouldn't kill her just like that, right?" He says, trying to convince himself of that truth. "Surely she's just sick. Maybe grounded, or something."

"Yeah, yeah. Probably..." Coriolanus concedes, hoping that somehow Sejanus was right.

Simultaneously, you were adjusting beautifully to life in District Twelve. You got in the habit of borrowing Lucy Gray and Barb Azure's clothes, and they let you sleep on the floor between their beds. For the first time in your life, you were free. No one knew you, no one had a single expectation of you besides Tam Amber appreciating your help with the goats and occasionally going to the market with Lucy Gray and Maude Ivory to get food. It was refreshing, to say the very least. Everyday you felt yourself unwinding more and more.

"Do you play any instruments, Y/N?" Maude Ivory asks you, skipping to catch up to you as you hike down a trail out to the lake with the rest of the covey.

"I do, actually." You nod at her, a small smile on your face. "Try three."

"Three!" She claps excitedly. "What do you play? You'll have to perform with us! Do they have different instruments where you're from?"

"Not really." You giggle, putting your hands in the pockets of your bright red skirt. "I play the piano, and the violin, which is just like Clerk Carmine's fiddle, but much more boring, and a harp, if you've ever heard of that."

"You play the fiddle?" The young girl smiles.

"Not like he does." You smile at the boy as he walks ahead of you, not paying any attention.

"I'm sure you're just as well." Lucy Gray interjects, bumping her shoulder with yours as she walks next to you. "Maude Ivory, you should hear her projection. I'm yet to hear her sing, but boy, can she yell."

"I can't sing." You laugh, shaking your head. "Back home you don't sing unless you're training for the opera, and you have to start that around the same time you learn to walk. My parents would rather me learn the piano."

"Then why am I the one yellin' at all our shows? You should step up." Maude Ivory giggles, and you just shake your head, ruffling her hair.

"I definitely couldn't do it nearly as well as you." You insist. "Besides, I have stage fright." You joke, mostly to get her off your back.

She laughs as she fixes her hair, running to catch up with the kids in front of her.

"She just adores you." Lucy Gray smiles. "It's nice to have a new face around."

You smile, watching Maude Ivory collect flowers from the side of the road. "She reminds me of my brother. They're about the same age."

"Right, you lent me his guitar." Lucy Gray says, a particular sadness in her tone tipping you off that she believes you should be upset about leaving him. You miss him, sure, but he's better off now with you gone. Besides, he couldn't be any worse than you. Your parents have always doted over him, and there's no doubt in your mind that now that you are gone, it's multiplied.

"Yes. That's him." You reply, accompanying a moment of silence between the two of you.

"Do you miss him?"

"Sure." You nod, kicking a small stone down the path in front of you. "But he's better off without me there. That brings me enough peace to sleep at night."

"Hey, can I ask you something?"

"Shoot." You smile at her, grateful for the change of topic.

"What happened to Coriolanus?" For the first time in weeks, you feel a pinch of discontent in your gut at her question.

"I don't know." You lie, shrugging your shoulders. You don't even know why you felt the urge to lie at all, you knew he was here somewhere but you hadn't seen him once. Out of sight, out of mind is what you have been trying to convince yourself. "He's alive, I'm sure. Peacekeeping in one of the districts probably."

"Oh, I was hoping you would know more."

"It would be nice." You agree. "But he's not exactly in my good graces at the moment."

"It feels so out of character for him to betray you like that, doesn't it?" Lucy Gray asks.

You laugh, shaking your head. "It was unusual. That's what I thought, anyway." You sigh, giving a slight shrug. "I haven't told anyone, but we had... I don't know, a moment, a few weeks ago. During the games. Just a couple of days later and he's throwing me under the bus like I meant nothing to him. We've been friends for years- I thought everything was about to change for the better, and then..."

"That's cruel." She says disapprovingly. "I bet he's sorry now that you're gone with the wind. He's regretting it. I promise you that much."

You smile slightly at the thought, allowing yourself to entertain it, if only for a moment. "He better be."

"Is that for me? Oh, c'mon y'all, you know that I gave up drinkin' when I was twelve..." Lucy Gray says, taking a sip out of the clear liquor bottle someone in the audience handed to her. "Oh, It's to clear my pipes, just to clear my pipes." She clarifies, tossing the bottle back into the audience.

Coriolanus watches leaning against the side wall of The Hob. He's happy to see that Lucy Gray is back to doing what she loved, and she made it home alive and well. He's also more than pleased to finally get off the barracks for something other than work. "Now, who's ready for a song, huh?" She smiles, looking down off the stage to her right. "Okay, comin' right up. First, I'd like to introduce to the stage with a big welcome, a grand ole friend of mine, The lovely Sage!" She says, giggling at her rhyme as another girl climbs up on stage, giving Maude Ivory and Lucy Gray a quick hug each.

Coriolanus looks away as the crowd cheers, scanning the crowd for Sejanus who had just excused himself to grab a drink a couple minutes ago. He's wondering where his roommate could have disappeared to when Lucy Gray's friend starts speaking.

"Well hello, everyone, so lovely to meet you all! I have never felt so welcome anywhere." His head snaps back to the stage. He'd know that Capitol accent anywhere, even as you pause to allow any cheers to quiet down. "I mean that." You grin, hands clutched to your chest. "And that feels so good, considering Lucy Gray all but forced me up here." You laugh, draping an arm over her shoulder, letting her take back over. How could this be real? Coryo is tempted to rub his eyes or pinch himself to make sure he's even awake. He was so sure you were dead, but despite the different name and completely different clothes, he was positive it was you. The pang in his chest made that obvious, along with the wave of surrealism that suddenly surrounded him so all he could see was you.

"Now, my beautiful girl Sage here will be taking over for our friend on the fiddle, we'll give the band a quick break, and we're gonna have a bit of a change of pace while she's lending us her talents." Lucy Gray says, and Coriolanus watches as you take the beat-up violin from the young boy gratefully. He knew you played, but he hadn't heard it for years. You looked so calm, something he wasn't sure he had seen in public since you were young. He can't pull his eyes from your figure as it graces the stage with your presence, lighting up the room even if it was only for him.

A small smile grows on his face as you start to play, several whistles echoing through the room before Lucy Gray even joins in with her singing. He wants to scream, to cheer and clap and yell and tell everyone in this dark, rundown building that this 'Sage' was his. Inarguably and undoubtedly his. Coryo's pride is only curtailed when he recognizes the song; it was the ballad Lucy Gray played in her interview on your brother's guitar.

The sophistication your violin playing brought to the piece almost made it sadder and infinitely more haunting. It's beautiful. Now with your classical touch, the song sets a pit of guilt in his stomach. That somehow, even without you singing, it's now a ballad from you to him.

"Just let me remind you what I am to you..."

He makes eye contact with Lucy Gray as he shifts his gaze away from you. She pauses for only a moment, hands still moving rhythmically over the strings of her guitar. She smiles and nods at him, jaw slightly agape as she glances back at you to see if you noticed him. When it's clear you haven't, she gets back on track with the words within only a moment.

"'Cause I am the one who looks out when you're leaping. I am the one who knows how you were brave..."  Your lips turn up in a small smile as she sings, eyes still shut while you focus. Even though he's sure you're thinking of him, it doesn't bring him much consolation. Well, at least you were thinking of him. He would take it.

The song ends as quickly as it starts, and despite the slower tone, the audience is still excited. More so as the band returns to the stage and you return the violin to Clerk Carmine before turning back around to give a bow. You wave out to the audience, reveling in the whistles and praise before reaching out for an extended hand, accepting it as its owner helps you down. "That was stunnin', where'd you learn to play like that? I've never heard anything quite like it." The man asks, still holding your hand out in between you.

"Oh, thank you. I've been playing my whole life." You grin as the music picks up again.

"Can you dance like you can play?" He asks, lifting your arm to spin you.

"I can certainly try." You laugh, going along with it as he pulls you into a more open space of the crowd, and to Coriolanus, it seems like you're taunting him. You're dancing like you don't have a care in the world, dressed in a skirt that looked like it was made out of a red bed sheet cut up and stitched back together in half-hazard squares, and what looked like one of your t-shirts cut up into a tank top that exposes most of your stomach and back. Appallingly too, a smile present on your face that he had dreamt of seeing again one day but was certain he never would. The only problem is that you're dancing with someone else. Not that he was much of a dancer, but he could try if he had known that's what you wanted.

He's planning his method of attack. He can't leave without speaking to you, because he doesn't even know if you'll be back here the next time he gets a day off. Though, based on your appearance and newfound carelessness, it's likely.

His urge is just to kiss you, but the only thing holding him back is that it could set you off. If you hadn't heard his apology from miles away, would you still be angry at him? But actions speak louder than words. He knows that physicality works with you, and it was hard to deny that he hadn't dreamt of how soft your lips felt on his for weeks. One time was just simply not enough for Coryo.

Coriolanus scowls as the man you're dancing with spins you again, making you laugh as he drapes an arm around your waist.

Maybe he should get Sejanus, see if he's seen you yet.

Another spin, and a hand sliding lower down your bare back as the man pulls you closer, his fingers landing on the waistband of your skirt. When was the last time that scumbag had so much as washed his hands? Coryo wonders to himself, rage boiling up under his skin.

Kiss her. Definitely kiss her.

But if the song choice was any indicator, you definitely weren't pleased with him. It couldn't be, though, because how would you know he would be in attendance? Coryo finds his feet carrying him through the crowd, pushing past a dozen carelessly drunk people in his effort to get to you before he's even thought it all through.

Your brow furrows as a body forces itself between you and your dancing partner. "Hey! What are you-" You cut yourself off, hypnotized by the cold blue eyes staring down at you.

That's my girl. Even though you're angry, Coriolanus is grateful to be the object of your gaze once more.

"'Scuse me, man, do you mind?" The man says, making an effort to push Coryo away. He turns, and before you can intervene he's swinging his fist right at the other guy's face, finding its target in a fraction of a second.

He stumbles back, grabbing his face as it immediately drips blood from his nose onto the floor. There are gasps in the crowd as it disperses around you.

"Hey, settle down, settle down now." You hear Lucy Gray call out amidst the music playing in the background while you grab the back of Coryo's shirt, pulling him back before he continues to beat up your dancing partner.

"Coriolanus, what are you doing here?" You shout over the music. He shakes out his fist, turning back to you now and grabbing your face, pulling you closer to kiss you instead of dignifying you with a response. His actions would certainly speak louder.

You want to be angry, but that falters as you feel his lips on yours again, his hands planted firmly on either side of your waist as he holds onto you so tight you weren't sure breathing was an option- even if you could. You followed him here, of course you wanted to see him, but how could he betray you so easily and expect forgiveness in a kiss?

It takes you longer than it probably should to build up the courage to place your hands on his chest, shoving him back. "What is wrong with you?" You spit, looking him up and down in the blue uniform signified of a peacekeeper off duty.

"What's wrong with me?" He asks, looking around and gauging how many people were even taking notice. "What do you mean, Y/N/N, I wanted to-" Clearly you hadn't heard his silent apology, or it just wasn't enough.

"Hey!" You hiss, jumping at him and attempting to cover his mouth at the use of your nickname, and he quickly swats away your hand. "Let's go. Outside, now." You shove him back by his chest, pointing towards the exit.

You look up at Lucy Gray on stage, still singing as she watches you nervously. You give her a nod and a small reassuring smile before linking arms with Coryo and guiding him toward the door. Just like old times.

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i've closed my taglist for coryo now!! sorry to everyone who wanted to be added, but unfortunately there was significantly more demand than i expected and i sadly just cant tag everyone. BUT! if you still want notifications when i post for this fic, please turn on my post notifs!!

[beepersteeper]

I Will Always Find You -- Astarion x Tav -- The Talk | part 5

Apologies for the delay in uploads. I hope to have part 6 uploaded today as well. its written and jut needs to be looked at one more time before posting Astarion and F!Tav live happily together for the remaining years she has, she refuses to be turned into a vampire because her faith says that her soul isn’t finished with its work yet. Tav dies of old age and leaves Astarion to put together the pieces of his broken heart. AN: Lord of Light lore taken and changed to fit the story's means. Not canonically accurate. TLDR story line stuff. This is an AU where Astarion ascends but isn't a power hungry bastard and Tav is able to help him continue healing. Wyll is immortal and the Duke. Karlach in my mind, if given a new engine would be able to live a lot longer than the usual tiefling. Another AN: idk if anyone wants tagged in this WIP but let me know. 

“The boxes are out the side door, you don't mind giving me a hand right son?"

“Not at all, sir." He swallows the nerves pooling in his throat. They walk to the side door and Astarion begins to move each heavy box through the door frame.

“My little Vira seems very keen on you." her father starts sitting at the desk.

“I suppose so sir, she is a wonderful person." Astarion smiles, maintaining his composure.

“I will speak plainly because I like you too. What are your intentions here Little Star?” He asks prying open the lid of a box and checking the packing pages. 

“I don't have any intentions, sir. I just want to get to know her. If anything blossoms from that I give you my word that would be only by her own want." Astarion swears, dragging in another two large boxes taking off his vest, and wiping sweat from his forehead. 

“And if she did want that?” her father asks, not moving his eyes from his work.

“If she wanted that and I did too then I suppose we would see where that path led us together.” Astarion shrugs, setting a box on the table for her father to catalog. 

“What about any…  other urges you might have.” Her father adds pointing his pencil to Astarion's neck, moving his collar down enough to show his scars.

Astarions blood runs cold like it hasn't in a century. Nervous. Scared. “Completely under control.” He urges standing in the door frame looking for any lingering boxes as he grabs the last one and hauls it into the room. “I'll explain if you wish, but it's not everyone's favorite conversation sir.”

“Just tell me that my daughter isn't some meal ticket for you and we'll call it that.“

“Not at all, sir." Astarion shakes his head matter of factly. The thought hadn't even crossed his mind.

“Thank you." He breathes a sigh of relief “How old are you anyway? I know that you're much older than you look, but I don't trust the gossip in town to have their information straight.” Astarion grimaces as he states his age before her father whispers mostly to himself “Such a babe." He tuts “but you seem to have done well for yourself the other years." Astarion purses his lips and nods in agreement unsure what to say. “Listen Astarion,” he sets his work down and folds his hands looking straight at Astarion "you seem like a good man, and my Vira likes your company and you treat her even better than she would like. You are welcoming my home as long as you have her blessing and her best interest at heart. I haven't seen her this happy since we lost her mother, spirits protect her, and just wanted a moment to get to know you myself.” He looks to Astarion with pleading eyes "Just don't hurt her... please. She's all I have.”

“I understand sir. I have no intention of doing that.”

“And stop calling me sir." The father laughs, instantly changing the energy in the room “It's too formal. If you need to call me something my name is Eyman."

Astarion laughs implying an agreement moving a new box to the table and moving an already sorted one to the floor. “I'll try my best. Old habits and all.”

They share a laugh as the door opens and Vira walks in with her hands full of 3 pies "Daddy why are we closed?!"

Her father nods his head toward Vira releasing him from their talk “No one was here to man the counter, Junior was busy moving the crates and I was cataloging."

Astarion rushes to her, taking two of the pies from her hands, and handing one to Eyman.  “They were so good last night.” He hums perching on the arm of the chair where Vira sat herself. They sat, enjoying their meal. Astarion smiles to himself enjoying the semblance of a family meal again. 

Eyman rights himself after finishing his meal and agreeing that the food was better than he anticipated. He flips the sign to open again and asks Vira and Astarion to continue their work from before. The afternoon passes as they share giggles and looks and talk about what books that they're stocking or packaging. Eventually closing time chimes and Eyman tells them to “get out of here, you both are too young to spend all of your time in this stuffy bookstore." He winks at Astarion telling him he refuses to treat him like he's ‘other than.’ Astarion is pulled out the door before he can respond. 

“Where in the hells are we going in such a hurry?" Astarion asks while keeping pace with her being dragged through crowds of people. 

“There's a circus in town and I don't want to miss its opening night." She says slowing down, realizing just how manic she must seem "There's minstrels, and portraits painters, a djini, clowns and even beasts.” She cackles slightly when she says beasts “I'm a sucker for animals. Even if they could feasibility tear me limb from limb.” 

“Djinis.” He scoffs "Scheming little bastards. The last one I interacted with turned me into a wheel of cheese just because I evened the playing field.”

“That doesn't sound grate at all.” She smirks at him

“And now you make jokes.” He laughs, grabbing at her sides to tickle her as she squirms away. He playfully pulls her back to his side and sweeps an arm around her waist. “You're lucky you're cute, because your jokes, my dear, need work.”

“Trust me that I have no intention of trying to make them better.” She laughs at her response leaning into him.

They giggle and walk closer to the circus before Vira asks what Astarion and her father talked about while she was gone. "He told me that he knew what I was and wanted to make sure I wasn't just looking for my next meal," he smiles, mindlessly running his tongue behind his teeth. “He just wanted to know what my intentions were with you.”

“And what are those intentions?” She asks meekly turning her eyes to his face that is still smiling, his eyes meet hers quickly as he scans the crowd around them.

“What do you want them to be?" He answers her question with another “I told him that I intended to get to know you better and see where things take us.”

“And if I wanted this to head somewhere serious?" She asked kicking a rock from under her feet.

“Then I think I could be persuaded." He playfully responded and squeezed her closer to his side.

She smiled wide and rubbed her thumb on his side in return before leaning into him “It just feels so natural being with you." She sighs.

He quietly laughs through his nose “It really does." He bumps his hip into hers pushing her slightly off balance causing her to grab onto him to steady herself. She laughs in response and bumps him back, not pushing him as off balance as she had hoped. Astarion rolls his eyes and a giggle slips from his lips.

They get into the circus and walk through the pulsing crowd, avoiding the djini’s tent because it was the same one from all those years ago. After seeing the “cute little beasties" as she called them they found themselves standing in line for the dryad. Originally by accident, not realize what the line was actually for, but then almost on a dare between each other. 

“We don't have to do this." Vira urges “It's crazy right? We don't know each other well enough to do this." 

“Where's the harm?" He shrugs, raising an eyebrow “Maybe she'll tell us something we don't know."

She shrugs and agrees as Astarion pays the woman for a session.

“Interesting…" the woman hums “Where two bodies stand many histories reside. A long line connecting you both. Answer my questions so I can see your true potential.” Vira passes her fingers over Astarion's arm and sits across from him.

“Where does Vira find the most peace?"

“In the cemetery with Tavilline." He smiles speaking her real name, but smiles more when Vira nods to the dryad.

“Very good. Knowing when your muse finds her peace is invaluable knowledge. When does she find the most joy?"

Astarion thinks, not sure but on a whim he responds as if he were answering about Tav “seeing the people she loves thriving."

Vira blushes and pushes her hair behind her ears. 

“A selfless partner is not always a blessing Astarion, your answer is true, but be sure to tend to her like she does others…  Finally, when does she feel fear? “

He doesn't even think about the question before answering “not being able to answer her Lord's question and losing the people she cares about.”

“Only one answer per question. Which does she fear most?"

“Not finding the answer." He states.

Vira squints at him and says quietly “he's right." 

“You both have many things in common, but there is a sturdy wall built that will need to be taken down before your full potential can be explored. I hope you both have the will to break that wall. Your love could be unlike one this realm has ever seen.” With a flourish, the dryad brings them back to the noise of the circus and continues their musings with the next couple. Astarion wraps his arm with Vira’s before putting his shaking hands in his pants pockets.

“I wonder what that means." Vira grumbles “So cryptic. I guess that's why people don't put a lot of stock in what they say, but, curiously, you were right every time. How did you know what brings me joy? We haven't talked about that at all. The other questions, sure it's probably came up or were pretty easy to read. But that…”

He laughs “Honestly?” asking her permission to be blunt with her to which she nods “I just answered like I was answering for Tav.” he shrugs. “The two of you are too similar and I kind of panicked” he laughs nervously.

She stares at him for a whole beat, lost in her thoughts. “Curious.”

They spend another hour or so milling through the circus as night begins to fall. They left the circus and just walked along the river bank behind the church holding each other's hands. Not speaking much, but still joking and flirting and enjoying the others' presence. Eventually, Vira breaks  the silence “Do you really see similarities between me and Tav?”

Startled for a moment Astarion just looks at her studying her face in the moonlight. “Yeah.” he shrugs, “I do. But I don't want you to think tha-” he is cut off by Vira.

“You don't have to explain.” she smiles and shrugs. “I'm honestly honored if you see some of her in me, you clearly love her.” She speaks of Tav in the present tense. “And she’s an amazing person from all accounts I've heard.”

“She truly was.” he sighs while smiling. 

“Would you humor me by telling me what you see that's similar?”

“As long as that's not weird…” he pauses “I feel like there's some taboo talking about my deceased wife on a second date.” forcing a laugh through a shaky voice.

She stops their walking and holds both of his hands in hers moving her head and forcing him to look into her deep green eyes “If I thought it would be weird, I wouldn't have asked Astarion. But if you don't want to, I won't be upset.” She reassures him by moving her hand to gently touch his face.

“Well that's one way.” he smiles into her palm and places a small kiss on it. “The way that you treat me gently. The difference is that she knew why I needed it, and you don't. You just do it.” Vira smiles at him, not moving her hand from his cheek. “And the way that you can make even the most mundane tasks into something fun.” he chuckles “And, if I can say something without getting elbowed” he smirks and looks into her face waiting for a nod “Your attitude!” he rolls his eyes, smiles and rocks his head beach before looking at her again “Gods be damned, the way that you constantly roll your eyes when you're happy, embarrassed or frustrated. You've got a mind of your own, and you're not afraid to use it much to your dad's dismay. That was something that drove me mad in every way about Tav. She just couldn't be tamed, and I would not have had her any other way. The way that you would be just as happy out on the town or with your nose buried in a book.” he smiles wide, laughing through his nose and shaking his head “All of that without mentioning the fact that your eyes and hair are a carbon copy of hers from decades ago.” he pushes his fingers through her long hair and pushes it behind her shoulder to look into her face. 

She blinks slowly, unconsciously leaning into his touch. “As I said, I'm honored to share any qualities with her.” startled when he leaned in to kiss her lips.

His hand is holding her head under her ear and pulling her face to his, kissing her eagerly. “I don't know what this is,” he points between them “but I just can't get enough of you.” he kisses her again “And I am more excited than I could have imagined to see where this goes,” he admits, nervous that he's going to scare her away. 

She moves quickly to wrap her arms over his shoulders returning the kiss, feeling his hands fall to her waist. She sighs softly into his lips “Then we will see where it goes.” She smiles as she pulls her face away from his. “You're not the only one that is excited.” she coos “but as excited as I am, I am exhausted, and have a long day at the shop tomorrow.”

“I've got some meetings to attend to.” he grumbles “but I’ll be by as soon as I can, to give you some company.” He releases her waist and starts to walk toward her house. Smiling to himself when she wraps her arm through his. When they find themselves in front of her house he leans on the door frame as she walks in the door “I hope you had a great night, darling.”

“Just the best.” she beams “Thanks Astarion.”

“Anything for you. Goodnight and make sure you lock up.” he reaches his hand out to her, which she eagerly takes. He kisses her knuckles and releases her hand “Until next time.” he smiles and steps out of the door letting her close it.

“Sleep well tonight.” She smiles and slowly closes the door. When he heard the lock latch he headed home through the cemetery brushing his hand over Tav’s headstone as he walked past, too tired to stay and chat. “I love you Tav.” he whispered as he walked past

He walked home quickly heading straight to their bedroom. Exhausted, he bathed and changed into his sleeping clothes, and fell onto his side of the bed. Feeling the down bed depressing beneath him. Anticipating the ache in his chest to tighten, he was shocked when that didn't happen. A little guilt appeared, but not that heart-wrenching pang in his chest. “Huh.” he tuts to himself, allowing himself to actually rest for the first time in such a long time. After sleeping like a stone he woke up and found his way to Wylls office to see when the meeting was.

Taglist:

@zoeloveslotr @silverfangmarks @prudent-nerd

[chososdiscordkitten]

⋆˚｡⋆୨ About Me ୧⋆˚｡⋆

Fun Facts:

I use they/them pronouns!!

I'm hispanic!! I used to have it in my welcoming page but I just noticed it isnt anymore!!

I'm a libra!!

I'm on the chunkier side, fuller figured, plus size- whatever :)

I only bought a laptop to start writing fanfics. (a very expensive investment but 100% worth it)

my favorite movies are, American Psycho, Gone Girl, Someone Great, nd DeadPool :D

I'm asexual!!! (but u write smut?) yes I do! I just find lines on paper attractive rather than irl people.

Questions:

How long have you been writing? Officially, since last years horny thanksgiving around 2 am. I just couldn't stand how full my brain felt and had to write it and post. But technically, I've been writing fics in my brain for years. Like, I have an actual archive in my brain of all the fics i've mentally written since I was 9. I still remember them all. Yet I can't remember what I ate yesterday, funny huh. A handful of physical ones for my friends (I found writing on my phone so fucking annoying ໒꒰ ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ ꒱১

Why don't you follow back/turn on dms? (／≧ω＼) embarrassing but wtv, I'm a very nervous person when it comes to 1 on 1 conversation..? idk if I come off that way in my posts, but I've had my fair share of online friendships/ irl friendships that ended... not great. so instead of doing that again, I'd rather protect my peace and not even try. I luv talking to people through posts nd asks though!! I just get vv anxious and scared (?) when I have to talk to new people in private. I wish I could speak to people on 1 on 1, but it just gives me unnecessary anxiety that makes me want to throw up.

Why tag your stuff with 'chubby reader' if it mentions nothing physically other than r! privates? So people who are on the chunkier side, (like I am) know I wrote a piece with their body in mind. Always, always I will write my stuff with a fuller figured body in mind (˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶)

Will you ever do a face reveal? No probably not. I'd much rather be a faceless entity on here than an actual person. I use spectacles, if that helps picture me better lol

Why the name 'Ten'? I spent the first 3 months on this app as a nameless person, I debated using my irl nickname, and realized my irls could find me just on that. But then I heard 'Ten - Dani Flow' and I loved it soooo much. In Spanish 'ten' means 'here' which I think is vv funny, since I come on here nd im just like 'here, take it.' when I post fics. Plus, it's also 3 letters like my irl nickname (⁀ ᗢ ⁀)

Why is that pic the banner of your pinned post? I remember when I made my pinned, I knew there had to be like- a pic on top. but there wasn't any that called out to me that were 'aesthetic' -so I chose that picture because, growing up I always wanted to run a semi successful fanfic blog. thus 'I used to dream about times like these' its a lil funny thing that makes me laugh every time I see it, cause it doesn't match with the theme of my blog lol

[drampas-trainers]

Good morning to all you people out there in the world!

//current game, ruleset and overview here!

We are Laura and Solaria (you can call me Sol, i don't mind), and we are a retired couple from the sunny region of Alola! We both know we are old, you don't have to tell us! But in case you're wondering, we are both women and use she/her pronouns.

Now, let me tell you what is going on and why some old hags have infiltrated the youthful internet:

Laura has recently made the decision that she wants to become a trainer! She never had the opportunity during her childhood, and we don't get any younger, so we decided to just go and visit other regions and get to learn more about the world!

We do however already have two Pokémon:

Hugo, our very dear Drampa. He is sort of a Service Pokémon that we can ride when our legs don't want to carry us anymore, but he's not officially registered and more of a pet.

Galois, a very cute little Porygon that has been included with this Poryphone i bought. It has already been very helpful with explaining this device.

Oh by the way, this blog will be run by me, Sol. Laura has some troubles with these electronic devices.

//Sol is purple, tagging with #wifeposting, Laura is Green, tagging with #trainerposting, Galois is Yellow or Orange because idk desktop/mobile is weird, tagging with #poryposting, ooc is pink (tagging with #ooc)

(ooc info under the cut)

// Hi, hello. I run this blog as a side blog, so I'll like and follow from my main @kamataros. I also run @koffing-time, you probably know me from there, honestly. If you need to adress me (the player/mun), I'm okay with any pronouns, and if you need a name you can call me Kama, Nox or Cheese. (And please exuse me if i sound harsh sometimes, or ask stupid questions)

First, this is obviously a Pokemon irl rp blog. As I and the people I'll mostly interact with will pretend that Pokémon are real, this is a blanket #unreality warning. I'll usually tag with at least one of the following three tags: #pokemon irl, #pkmn irl or #pokeblogging. I will NOT tag everything with #unreality.

Second: I wil use this blog to talk about my experiences with the Pokémon games! That means, i will just play the games and talk about what happens and how it's going and stuff, but in character of Sol and Laura. Because of this, none of the events of the games have taken place in this universe yet.

Feel free to interact with them though, i really welcome it. Give them tips on battling, what pokémon can be found and whatever! I won't initiate much on my own though. Probably.

Third: i won't go too much into detail on my tags and interactions and stuff here. I will basically use the same format as on @koffing-time, read the pinned post there and you're good to go :)

Just one thing about tags that are exclusive (and important) to this blog: #lauras [region] adventure is for every post regarding the respective game/region. #lauras gym challenge: [region] is only for posts that detail important battles such as gym leaders (duh) but also rival battles or against evil team admins.

[spitdrunken]

Ngl I feel so wrong for having read so much on your blog in the span of an hour or so 😭😭 I'm a kink baby (not like littles, I'm into freaky stuff but I don't know the term for those newly/inexperienced with the stuff) and seeing the blankshipping makes me feel both so wrong yet so turned on??? Like???

I can't help but to fantasize over the submas twins corrupting their younger sister as they start to show interest in her. Like I read the Volo innocence post you wrote and I started thinking of something similar to those lines but for the submas twins. Maybe the younger sister was always their little princess that they spoiled and doted on and she repays the kindness by being super clingy and loving towards them? Like she's the pinnacle of what the twins want to protect so what better way than to become her lovers? They would hate to see their younger sister be taken and used by some random man so why not just show her everything she can gain with them? I imagine that they start slowly corrupting them and turning her into their little sub and fucking her senseless because that's what their sister deserves <3

Idk if that's weird or not but I really like your blog :)

notes: incest, grooming (all characters are 18+ during nsfw sections, but their dynamic as children is discussed)

hi anon!! i’m sorry for taking a while to get to this, but you’re so valid okay <33 i know when you’re first getting into ‘darker’ / more ‘’’gross’’’ (not my opinion but what it likely feels like to you at the moment) stuff you can feel guilty sometimes, but there’s nothing to feel bad about! enjoying this kind of stuff is super common. (just look at prnhub, anime / visual novels, the amount of fics in the ‘1ncest’ tag on ao3, etc etc.) i hope that made you feel a little better!! onto the actual content though <3

first off, that’s not weird at all-!! i have a very similar, expanded au with my girlfriend where ‘you’ are basically the submas’ little sister, so your idea is more than welcome here <3

Ingo is someone with an inherently caring nature. He enjoys looking after people, guiding them to their destinations and, in personal matters, he is much the same. While growing up, he was often fussier than your mother, but also praised you more than anyone else. Both of the twins insist on you following the rules laid out by your parents, but Ingo is more strict. (Who would sometimes sneak you an extra piece of candy!) From a young age, he’s had a fascination with dressing you up. The cuter, the better! His choices would really make you feel like a princess. He’s more passive than his brother, and would feel a little sad watching you have fun without him, but he’s more likely to try and let it go. 

Emmet just thinks you are the cutest! Your smile is the absolute best one ever, and he would do anything to keep you happy. This is the primary reasons he lets you a little loose sometimes, but only under his direct supervision. Emmet is already notably jealous as a kid, and doesn’t like you or Ingo spending time around anyone else. He’s the main reason you grow up somewhat secluded, actively interfering in your friendships with others. Kids are often a little selfish, however, Emmet never entirely grows out of it. He wants what’s best for you, but on his terms, because he knows best.

Everyone thought it was adorable how little you fought while growing up, and how inseparable you were. Now that you’re adults, though... It’s a bit more weird. 

You’ve never stopped being sweet and adorable to them, they never stopped wanting the best for you and wanting to protect you! Through their work as Subway Bosses, they’ve gotten to meet so many people, and realised that... Tons of people are terrible. Horribly rude and completely dismissive of any and all safety regulations! Sure, not everyone sucks, but when imagining you dating some stranger... They can’t imagine it going well. It’s a common subject between the two of them. They are actively concerned about you getting a crush on someone. Thankfully, you always tell them you still love your big brothers the most ♡!

(At the same time, I love the idea of you essentially having a bit of a puppy crush on your big brothers... Since their job has made them decently famous, there’s a lot of content featuring them online! When you read romantic self insert fanfiction about your brothers, that’s definitely just to laugh at how they’re written! Nothing else!!)

After one more conversation about ‘the state of humanity in regards to our little sister’s dating options’, Emmet asks: Why shouldn’t we date her? There are a million arguments against it. First off all, you’re related. But Emmet plays on Ingo’s emotions, he knows how worried he is about you, and how guilty he feels about is poorly hidden feelings for you. Emmet is the one who will end up taking the lead. You trust and love your brothers the most, so it only makes sense they’d take your most important firsts too... (Emmet will end up jerking Ingo off while whispering fantasies about you into his ear. How tight you would be about your big brother’s cock, how cutely you’d moan, how nice you’d look in a cute set of underwear... He cums embarrassingly fast.)

You’re already so clingy, that it’s easy to ease you into a bit more affection! Holding your hand, kissing your cheek, pulling you on to his lap... All of that is easy for Emmet. You happily soak up all of the extra attention. When you complain eventually about being permanently single, Emmet will ‘jokingly’ ask about preparing for the future ahead of you... He’ll offer. to teach you how to kiss! You get so embarrassed you can’t get a word out, but when he softly pecks you on the lips you can’t find it in yourself to protest too much. By the end of it, you’re making out with him on the couch, sitting flush against him on his lap.

Emmet has been hiding his feelings for you for so long, and is so intent on ruining you for anyone else, that there’s a decent chance he’ll fuck you open on that couch right then and there, for Ingo to walk in on you two. 

[perpetual-canon]

Perpetual Canon

summary: This is as grand as it gets - Ace landed the gig with Gorillaz, and it's a chance of a lifetime for him. It is as clear as day - Murdoc landed himself in prison, and it's a chance for everyone to move on.

There's nothing more to it. Right?

Or: How to make sense of life when all its stories are sung at the same time?

Or all of them were part of the same song all along?

about the story: This is an AU where most of the Gorillaz insane lore is alt-reality storyline they come up for the fans & publicity stunts. The reality behind the lore is somewhat similar but not always as epic.

The timeline is a bit more sensible - in 2017-2019 (phase 5) when the story is taking place, it's been about 13 years since D day.

The story is full of creepy supernatural lore and fae laws and, no joke, is nearly 50% flashbacks.

Expect the feels, the funny, and the drama.

Ace has his ice powers, but with a twist. Same for some other characters.

Aaand, big spoilers, this is an AU where Ace is Murdocs son! But no one knows about it yet :D

This silly little idea is one of the main reasons the story exists, and so we share it in advance because we can.

Ages at the start of chapter 1: Stuart - 32,5 Russell - 31 Murdoc - 38 Noodle - almost 23 Ace - almost 22 Snake - 21,5 Big Billy - 19 Grubber - 20 Lil Arturo - almost 16

Damon Albarn & Jamie Hewlett - 40

pairings: 2doc, 2ace (one-sided), (past) Russell/Dell. This is not as dramatic as it sounds, promise :'D

pairings (that are slow burn and SPOILERS): Snake/Ace, Russell/Ace, Russell/Snake, Snake/Russell/Ace. This is the hill we built and are going to burn on, you guys are welcome to join :'DD

warnings: There will be warnings for each chapter/parts of chapters, when needed.

generally there may be: drug abuse, mentions/discussions of child abuse, discussions of trauma, suicidal ideation, unhealthy coping mechanisms.

about the format: There will be comics, short stories, text with illustrations, shitposts, basically anything that'll work for each piece. Updates will not be regular after chapter 1, but we are very much set to finish this project!

tags guide: PC!story - for the story bits PC!art - for the additional art PC!not in text but in spirit - for shitposts and inspo stuff PC!spoilers - idk, may need this one

—

You may recognise the comics from couple years back, and yeah, this is doublebassstory (now with a proper name! that is also a pun, yes :'D).

The hiatus and real life got us, but the story didn't let go, it's too fun, and totally doesn't hold us at gunpoint (: So we're back at it, and the goal is to get this whole thing out, and have some fun along the way (':

Most of the story is already planned out - plot, chapters, episodes and all (g-d help us).

The links to read Perpetual Canon, and the chapter plans can all be found HERE.

Feel free to hit us with any questions you may have.

[cyncerity]

Letting ya know I'd love an update on what Dream did to Tommy in dad's troubles au cuz I've certainly not been around long enough to know TWT

-Nox

I JUST SCROLLED THROUGH MY OWN AU TAG AND REALIZED I NEVER SAID ANYTHING ABOUT WHAT DREAM DID OH MY FUCKING GOD IM SO DUMB-

ok, so, a while ago I just typed up a whole essay about Dream’s role in this au and I guess I just…never elaborated?? I swear I did but my memory is dog caca so idfk anymore.

Anyways hi Nox it’s very nice to meet you!! Welcome to the blog 💖

I’m just gonna take a few snippets from that essay (you think I’d give you all of my secrets at the same time? ha) and post them so that Dreams inclusion in this au actually makes sense-

tw vore

Tubbo makes a plan to meet Puffy, or at the very least see her from the vents, but doesn’t know if she’s ok with borrowers yet since this is before Schlatt ever mentioned Tubbo to her and he hasn’t introduced the two of them. However, he makes the mistake of bringing Ranboo and Tommy along to find out.

Tommy ends up getting caught by Puffy’s brother, Dream, and swallowed, since ooo plot twist, Dream had been the person to originally suggest the idea of eating borrowers to Sapnap. He just forgot to mention to him that they were digestion-proof. Dream ignores all of Tommy’s thrashing since he’s used to it from doing the same thing to other borrowers and goes to sleep. When he wakes up Tommy is quick to tell him that about all the “borrowers can’t be digested” stuff but, to his surprise, Dream cuts him off to tell him he knows all of that.

Dream then spits Tommy out and explains that he just needs a bit of a snack while he’s out here seeing his estranged “brother” (Schlatt) and best friend (Sapnap) and his fiancés, and if Tommy is good while he’s in there, he’ll consider letting Tommy stay at this apartment once he has to go home. So Tommy is stuck in this motherfucker without any way to contact anyone and let them know where he is. No one can help him. So, basically, this au’s equivalent to the exile arc.

And how long does Tommy stay there?…idk I haven’t decided yet.

There’s a lot I cut out of this essay so I may post the entire thing later but idk just how much I want y’all to know yet >:)

[kitty-cafe-edits]

Welcome to the kitty cafe: an edit blog!!

REQUESTS ARE OPEN

Cupid's oc post 1

Cupid's oc's part two

TIGER DAD

Ghost oc go brr

How the hell do you get into ace attorney

Cupid's comforts

Once again welcome! Please keep reading for more information! In this post you will see:

-mods information

-fandoms

-kinds of edits we make

-other kinds of posts

-rules

-and the finale!

Mods information

Mod cupid:

Name- cupid

Gender + pronouns: demigirl, she/they And meow neopronouns

Sexuality: ace and probably panromantic!

Likes: kittens, blue, hello kitty, chococat, pusheen cat, sweets, and anything princess related!

Dislikes: bullies honestly

Favorite song: "Stay with me"- miki matsurbara

Tags used: cupid speaking!!!💕💕 , Asks!!!💕💕 , Friends!!!💕💕 , Reblogs!!!💕💕 , Comforts!!!💕💕, Request accepted!!!💕💕 , Request denied!!!💕💕

Blacklist: nsfw, h4j1 t0w4, warriors of hope x anyone, pregame characters, most horror themes, and anything anti lgbtq

Mod Zen:

hey loves <3 its me zen >.< hacked kyupid again

anyway ! surprise ! we both run this blog!!!! i could link my carrd, but a new one is in the process of being made so . no.

i think im a lot harsher than kyu T_T and im STRICTLY on desktop and have a Job so i might get to things late uhh i think thats all u rly need to know lol (also my main/aesthetic blog is @zen1dol)

i'm zen or mimi! only my close friends like kyu or irls call me river . 

i'm EIGHTEEN whole years old !!! 

i use it/its and my gender is yeah

likes: bugs, horror, fleshcore and oddcore, the ships inozen and sanegiyuu from kny, any type of hog (like pigs and boars) and big cat 

dislikes: see: blacklist

fav song: tonchinkan feast - pinnochioP but the cover by chogakusei is also rly awesome

tags used: idk yet but i think i might steal kyupid’s but use different/no emojis

blacklist: uᴢui tenɢen, kaiɢaku, enji todoroki, mitsuki bakugou, hᴀrry potter, steᴠen uniᴠerse, asᴛrology, mᴄyt fandom/dsᴍp grabage 

JUST SO U KNO: these ARENT triggers they just piss me off like a whole lot!! if i see anything like this in asks/subs directed at me ur getting that sweet sweet block >_<

Fandoms

Mod cupid:

Danganronpa (thh, sdr2, v3, udg)

Demon slayer

Witches heart

Your turn to die

Sanrio

And any other source as long as I can handle it!

Mod zen:

demon slayer

osomatsu san

omori

urahara

wonder egg priority

smile for me

vocaloid

my little pony

i like rly obscure and precure/magical girl animes so pls recommend and request stuff like that!!

Kinds of edits we make

Mod cupid:

Wallpapers (say size, phones only)

Icons (say size)

Dividers

Moodboards

Sprite edits (Danganronpa sprites will be used for any of my sources)

Blog themes

(bonus since it's not an edit thing: I can make fancy discord usernames for characters on my sources!)

Mod zen:

layouts (specify what site)

icons

moodboards

stimboards

wallpapers (specify size, desktop mostly)

i think i might do youtube playlists, too, soon but ill need help w that

Other kinds of posts

Mod cupid:

Positivity posts (mental health, sexualities, self care tips, kin positivity, mental condition positivity, and body positivity!)

Asks (from friends, to friends, etc)

Reblogs (comforts, friends posts, etc)

Edit wips (progress photos basically)

And lastly posts explaining if and when requests will be open!

Mod zen:

random brainrot, yelling at (talking to) ppl . what is the difference between a text post here and a text post on zen1dol ? almost nothing haha im just on my laptop and i want to torment yall. also maybe doodles of us

Rules

NO NSFW

No copypasta asks

No proship

No bullying

No requesting when requests are closed

And no attacking anyone on and interacting with this blog

The finale!

Thank you so much for reading! We both cannot wait to edit for you!!!

[calpops]

family | c.h.

A plan for dinner in which your parents are to meet Calum for the first time doesn’t go as expected but it shows you who your true family is. 

1.3k words

dates with cal masterlist

Copyright © 2020 calpops. All rights reserved. This original work is not allowed to be reposted on any platform in any format (translations included).

<< >>

You stand with a heavy heart, patience running thin and hope shattering on the kitchen floor where you had prepared a dinner you hoped to share with Calum and your parents. Calum is beside you, his arm around your waist and understanding in his eyes. He knew of your rocky relationship with your parents and the troubles it could arise but he had yet to meet them. Tonight is supposed to be that night. You shift, head shaking and eyes burning.

“Are you sure you told them the right time?” Calum asks, trying to stay optimistic so you don’t crumble any further. His hand squeezes your waist to remind you he’s there even if they aren’t.

“I think so,” you say around a tight sigh and fish into your pocket for your phone. “I called them last night. They sounded like they wanted to come. They promised.”

Your parents aren’t prone to making promises and just the word was enough to elicit false hope into you. No messages light up your screen as you glance down at your phone.

“Maybe... your parents don’t like me?” Calum questions and tries to make it a joke, tries to make his tone light and take the burden off your shoulders.

“They don’t even know you,” you reply, suddenly resigned and defeated. You know waiting for them will be excruciating. Standing around in the kitchen with the cooling food as a reminder of their tardiness isn’t going to help. You busy yourself with wrapping the dishes to put in the fridge.

“What are you doing?” Calum’s voice comes from behind you as you slide a salad in.

“It’s gonna get gross if it stays out much longer. I’ll just put it away while we wait.”

Your tone verges on desperation and Calum senses it immediately. He sees the shine of your eyes and the way your hands clench around the handle of the fridge.

“We can wait,” Calum reassures, lightly rubs the small of your back to calm you down and helps put away the rest with you before heading to the living room couch.

Duke joins you, curls up on your lap as a comfort mechanism—able to sense your distress and sadness without even understanding why—Calum sits beside you, tries at small talk while time ticks by. It’s an hour past the time they said they’d be here. Your hope is all but decimated when you check your phone one last time and come up empty. You feel as if you shouldn’t be surprised. This is nothing new; they missed birthdays and graduations and everything in between, but for some reason—perhaps a reason that shines with diamonds, an opal and your entire future—you thought it might be different this time.

“They’re not coming,” you realize just seconds before a call lights up your phone and hope comes back to taunt you. You answer with a timid greeting. Crack out an ‘okay’ when the hope goes back to shards and hang up the phone with tears on your cheeks. “They’re not. They said they have some stuff at home. Some-something about a…”

You can’t even finish their lame excuse before a sob slips through and you hide your face in your hands. Calum’s arms wind around you without hesitation, he pulls you into his chest, hands falling from your face in favor of hiding against him. His hands stroke through your hair, down your back, up and down again and again until another sob breaks and you start to shake.

“Sweetheart,” he says and it’s more than you could have thought to say if the roles were reversed. His voice is soft and sincere when he continues. “I’ve got you.”

You know what he means when he says that. Your parents aren’t here for you, they never really have been, but he is and the ring on your finger is a promise that he always will be. You try to collect yourself and stop a sob in its attempt to escape you. Instead a hiccup comes out and you hear Calum’s little huff of a giggle; he’s always said your hiccups are adorable.

“I feel stupid,” you admit and wonder if Calum can even understand you through the muffle and shake of your voice. He does. He always does.

“It’s not your fault,” he reminds but you shake your head.

“I should know better by now. They do this all the time,” you begin, finally finding some voice for the aching thoughts plaguing you. You still won’t pull away from him, too content to bask in his comfort, unsure you can look him in the eye when tears still slide from yours. “They don’t even want to meet the man I’m going to marry before I marry him. They probably won’t come to the engagement party. It’d be a miracle if they show up to the wedding. They just don’t care. Family isn’t supposed to be like this.”

“Family is complicated,” Calum says but you don’t want any attempts at justifications, whether either of you believe them or not. You just want a family that cares.

“I should be used to it by now—I just don’t have a family, not really.”

“You do,”‘ Calum insists and doesn’t let you hide anymore, his hands cup your jaw and gently coax you to look at him. “You have me and my parents and Mali and the guys and all of our friends. We are here for you. We love you.”

You nod, unable to find words to express the thoughts now finding you. He’s right. He has been there for you since the day you met. His parents took to you the moment you were introduced to them and Mali even before that, she texted you and called you well before an in person meeting. The guys welcomed you with open arms and thanked you for making Calum happy. They are his family and made you a part of it. The friends you made in adulthood had become like siblings. You might be missing some pieces but there are other people to fill in the gaps and make you feel whole.

“I love you,” you finally manage to get out, wipe your eyes and sniffle.

“And someday”—Calum says, thumb brushing away tears you missed—“we’ll have a family of our own.”

You let out a breath, a smile trudging through the sadness at his words that kick up ripples of warmth from the inside out. You nod, this time with happiness and a yearning for that future. For that family.

“We will,” you say, sure about that. “I’ll never be like my parents.”

“I know,” Calum responds with just as much certainty and a smirk growing on his face. “How many kids do you want?”

You tilt your head to the side. “At least two. So they can always have a friend.”

Calum laughs and nods in agreement. “Two is good. D’you have any names picked out yet?”

You bite your lip and dart your eyes up to the ceiling. The way he knows that you do and is waiting to hear them makes you know the ring on your finger and all of the promises it comes with are meant to be. Your lip springs free and you grin.

“I have some thoughts,” you admit but want to keep them secret until the time is right.

Calum talks to you about the future. You both get lost in a world yet to come. Make plans that won’t happen for years to come but you would bet with your whole heart and soul will happen eventually. Calum wouldn’t lie to you. Calum wouldn’t string you along and break your heart. He’s your family now.

<< >>

If you’d like to be added to my tag list just let me know!

Based on the dates with cal engagement prompt: your family doesn’t like me? And @outerspaceisbetterthannothing message of: They plan on finally meeting her parents. She’s very nervous and the very last moment her parents ditch them, saying they won’t be able to come because of some shit and that it’s not so important anyway, they’re sure Cal is a nice guy and they’ll meet him at the wedding. And she’s really upset and Cal tries to reassure her when he sees her tears, saying he is her family now and she has his parents and his sister and all of the boys. That’s her family, she’s not alone.

Tagged: @rosecolouredash​ @irwinkitten​ @golden-hood @who-do-you-love-5sos​ @caswinchester2000​ @wildflowergrae​ @empathycth​ @cuddlemecalx @malumsmermaid​ @babylon-corgis​ @outerspaceisbetterthannothing​ @mariellelovescupcakes​ @xhaileyreneex​ @goth5sos​ @gosh-im-short​ @feliznavidaddycal​ @loveroflrh​ @findingliam-o​ @flowerthug​ @g-l-pierce​ @talkfastromance4​ @superbloomirwin​ @wastedheartcth​ @calumscalm​ @notinthesameguey​ @lukesfuckingbeard​ @myloverboyash​ @treatallwithkindness​ @haikucal​ @wiildflower-xxx​ @calum-uncrowned @egyptiangoldhood​ @drarryetcetera​ @another-lonely-heart​ @megz1985​ @idk-harry​ @dinosaursandsocks​ @wildflower-cth​ @idontneedanyone​ @everyscarisahealingplace​ @myfavfanficsever​ @stormrider505​ @karajaynetoday​ @333-xx​ @calumshpod​ @calumsphile​ @calumrose​ @justhereforcalum​ @grreatgooglymoogly​ @calumance​ @mantlereid @hemmingslftv​ 

[human-person234]

UPDATE UPDATE UP DATE U P D A A A T E

I'm sobbing with relief, you guys. I've been so stuck on this. I can't believe it took me two months to update. Things were getting better, over the last week or so I managed to write a few sentences here and there, but today it just clicked and I banged out the whole chapter like nobody's business. It feels so good. I don't have the next one written, but I have it outlined, and I have a tentative outline for the rest of the fic--not that we're too near the end, yet. It's just a good sign.

I have some thoughts about the chapter, the fic, and its effect on my mental health, but I have a feeling this will get long so I'm going to put a break. Click if you want to read my rambling about all that, I guess.

Writing this fic ended up being a bigger part of my personal mental health journey than I anticipated, so it's natural that they'd be intertwined. I only wrote it because I was so obsessed with the Suicidal Midoriya Izuku tag I ran out of fics to read and had to make my own. Not exactly "mentally stable" behavior.

If you read Wish I Hadn't Got So Much Better, esp my notes and comments, you know that suicidal ideation is a very real issue for me, both in my past and (surprisingly, like for the Izuku of that story) my present.

I'm not opposed to talking about it, so if anyone wants to chat about that kind of stuff, my DMs and asks are open, seriously, I love talking about mental health and any excuse to talk about myself is welcome. But I won't get into it too much here.

Basically, I was depressed, and dealing with some other physical health issues (TURNS OUT I'VE BEEN BREATHING MOLD FOR MONTHS NO WONDER I'M EXTRA LETHARGIC), and when I started to fall behind on updates, that only exacerbated my anxiety and guilt and, thus, depression.

Something else that came up for me was that I don't totally feel qualified to write about suicide recovery, because I never experienced it in the way I'm writing it.

I basically dumped this on Izuku in Wish I Hadn't Got So Much Better, but essentially, I do have experience with being suicidal, just not the "getting help" part. I do see a psychiatrist for my disorders, but no one ever found out about the suicidal part.

So, like Hizashi and Shouta say in Chapter 13, "Who do I think I am? Why do I think I could take care of a child?" I have no idea what guided recovery looks like, because I did it alone. I kept thinking, what if I'm doing it wrong, what if I'm missing something important, what if people who really had these experiences think I'm taking it lightly?

So that's part of the source for my end note for this chapter--I realized that as long as I'm doing my due diligence, I don't have to feel guilty about getting it wrong, because real people get it wrong too. Also, it's fanfiction, I'm allowed some wiggle room. I've read and loved and recommended fics with far looser basis in reality, and never considered complaining. I'm just a harsher critic of myself than I am of others, as are most people.

On a more technical note, I also struggled with pacing the story. I kept feeling like I was stuck in a real-time pace, and I couldn't figure out how to stop describing literally every action my characters took. How hard is it to zoom out and do a fucking timeskip, for goodness' sake?

For me--very hard, it turns out.

So I kind of gave up, gave myself permission to stop trying. I even stopped reading MHA fics for a little while (no way I could stop reading fics, though). I went back to one of my all-time fave fics, from what might be my favorite anime--Run With the Wind. The fic is Beyond the Wind by kstar2091.

Honestly, I thought my first fic would be in this fandom. I figured it would be a poor homage to this fic, a continuation of canon events finally giving us the romance that had been simmering all 23 episodes. My pfp is best boy Kiyose Haiji for a reason.

Uh oh, that was a bit of a tangent.

My point is, re-reading my fave fic (with delicious new chapters) inspired me, bc kstar is legit VERY GOOD at exactly what I was struggling with--passing a lot of in-story time without sacrificing content or intensity.

So, the little interlude in Izu's POV covering a week or so in the chapter I just posted--that's thanks to kstar2091, Beyond the Wind, and ofc my best boy Haiji. Once I got through that bit, it all started flowing like chocolate sauce at a Golden Corral.

There's a lot of juicy bits upcoming, some of which people have been eagerly awaiting. One of them is obvious. Others, you might hate me for?? But also I hope you'll love them, because you're all screwed up like me.

So yeah, I'm not promising weekly updates anymore, but the juices are flowing, the sun is shining, the mold is blooming in my bedroom, and I'm slowly getting back on my mood stabilizers.

If anyone wants to talk about mental health, or ask me anything personal, feel free, you won't offend or upset me. Or, don't say anything, and just keep reading! Or stop reading, idk, it's your life.

[katierosefun]

Heyy, just wanted to say I LOVE your stories (and all you headcanons and tags hehe) I'm new here and wanted to ask how and when you started writing fanfiction for star wars and if you have any tips 😊

hello! thank you for the kind words :’) and of course, welcome!! 

so if we want to get really technical about things, i started writing star wars fic like,,,,waaaay back in 2013, and i kinda cringe a little when i think of those fics now because lol i was thirteen years old then--and i wrote for a little while until maybe 2016-ish? and then took a break because of mental health things, and then got back into writing fic in the past year and a half or so! 

as for the how, i wanted to write star wars fic mostly because as a thirteen year old, i was devastated by the season five finale (back then, that was when the show just got cancelled and the season five finale was the only series finale we were gonna get!), and i just kinda wanted to write all these stories about the tcw fam actually being happy. filling in the gaps and all. (lol considering how my gut reaction to the tcw season seven finale was also to write as much fic as possible, i can safely say that some things just don’t change.) 

as for tips! i got a little into writing gen fic specifically here, but as for writing fic in general: (and under the cut because i,,,as usual, went off for a while.)

1. rewatch/reread source material! this is something i usually do when i’m trying to refresh my memory on a certain episode--i won’t watch through the whole thing, sometimes i’ll just kind of jump around, but i like to get some quick look back into the source stuff to put myself in the right headspace to explore how to extend/expand the story somehow. 

of course, if you’re writing something that’s an AU then you don’t really have to worry about this, but!! rewatching the source can also just be super helpful when you’re trying to characterize properly/try to get a feel for what the characters’ voices are like. 

2. wookiepedia is your  best friend, but if you don’t have enough info on something, either search through fanon star wars meta or!! just make up something on your own! like, i cannot tell you the amount of times i’ve wanted to tear my hair out because i couldn’t find enough information on x or if i had to stop and be like “wait, but does star wars even have y??” sometimes, wookiepedia is helpful for providing those answers, and other times, blogs like @gffa really provides a big, broad look at all the stuff in star wars, and her blog kinda runs like wookiepedia itself, so i can guarantee that you’ll find some useful stuff if you’re ever kind of lost about what certain jedi customs/culture or in general, what different cultures were like in the galaxy far, far away. 

but also, as i’ve mentioned, i think it’s okay to just kinda ignore the technical stuff and just make something up in star wars as you go along. you don’t like that glass in star wars is called transparisteel? then use glass. you’re not sure if star wars even celebrates the new year? screw it, why not? you’re the writer--you get creative license!

3. there is no such thing as “too much” of one trope. so, idk if you might struggle with this, but just in case you do--sometimes, fic writers will hit a wall and be like “no i can’t post this because so many people have already written about this/used this trope/etc.” to that, i say pffft, nah. there’s a post floating around here on tumblr about a cake analogy and how like,,,to you, you might have just brought another cake to a party with already so many cakes, and you might feel kinda embarrassed about that, but to the large majority of people? all they see is more cake, and who doesn’t love more cake? 

what i’m basically trying to get at here is!! write whatever you want and don’t worry about if someone’s already done it, because everyone in fandom lives to see their favorite storylines expanded over and over and over again/everyone lives to see their favorite tropes used over and over and over again. fic is wonderful for that very reason, and you shouldn’t deprive yourself of enjoying that. 

4. this might seem kinda trivial, but spellcheck and formatting is...mostly important. the unfortunate thing about fic is that sometimes people will click out the second they see a huge block of text like so: 

“this is just a practice run,” i say as i start this paragrah. i don’t really know what i’m writing about but this is an example, and i know that this is probably going to look really, really ugly on the screen but here we go oh the things i do for explaining fic i already know that this has gone long enough but who is to stop me you know? wait no i haven’t made any spelling errors yet to prove my point so okay let me think of a common spelling error i can’t think of any right now but hm let’s see i will causally say that i have made a spelling error. oh look! i have made a spelling error (well, not a spelling error, more like a mix-up of words) because you can tell that instead of writing casually which would be more correct i wrote causally and those two are very different things. but there are other spelling errors that can sometimes be a turn-off for readers like when they notice that the k in kenobi isn’t capitilized and once or twice that’s all fine and most people will overlook that, but if you do that consistently then most people will be turned off and click into another fic and oh dear it seems that i am actually explaining things so i guess that means i should stop with this ugly paragraph and actually move forward. “move on!” i shout to myself now. (and just pretend that something like this continues for a good two or three pages.)

do you see how ugly that is? it’s an eye-strain to most people when they read, and you can write the most beautiful fic in the world, but if the formatting and the spelling is off, then most people will move to a different fic. (which is, again, unfortunate, especially for younger and newer writers, but! ‘tis a thing that comes with fic.) 

5. have fun! don’t get yourself caught up with appealing to the crowd. write what you want to write first and foremost, because at the end of the day, it’s you who’s putting in the work and the effort to craft a story, and if you’re about to invest your time and energy into anything in your free time, then it should be something that brings you at least some joy and comfort. so go on and write, and keep writing if you enjoy it! no one can take that away from you. 

hope that all helps!! 

[nikkoliferous]

Phase One: Thor

Since I was looking up my past live-blog of the novel and realising how annoying and repetitive reading through it all is because of my having structured it as a bunch of reblogs, I’ve decided to organize it all into one long-ass post instead. In case anyone else wants to read it in the future. Or in case I decide to re-read it. Because I’m hilarious. 😅

SO WITHOUT FURTHER ADO

My Hilarious Yet Wrathful Overview Of Phase One: Thor, Redux

—

If your son who’s to become king requires a babysitter to not screw it all up and also the idea of him being king is stressful enough to put you into a coma, maybe, uh… reconsider doing that? Just a thought.

But you see here why Odin was so deadset on Thor becoming king, despite him being ill-suited for the role. It’s not about what’s best for Asgard; it’s about personal legacy. Thor is Odin’s mini me, and Loki is very much not. There are places within the text where Odin laments Thor “lacking his father’s wisdom” (he’s definitely inherited your humility, though, Odin!), but he hopes for Thor to grow into a “wise king” like himself. Whereas he holds no such illusions (lol, pun) that Loki will ever take after him.

now with tag commentary! #this scene is in the script and both novelizations #(though in reading this novel seems to just be a more complete version of the junior novel? #idk i'm confused because they're supposedly written by different authors but so far the text is identical) #and it drives me insane each time i read it

“Haha, I’m a warmongering piece of shit, isn’t it funny?”

I know, I know. I try to cut Asgard some slack for being such a militaristic culture because social changes happen slowly and when you live for thousands of years per generation, it makes sense that your views on things like war would be regressive. The text says Odin has ruled Asgard for tens of thousands of years (so much for taking Loki’s “give or take 5,000 years” line literally; sure, the Odinsleep would have extended Odin’s lifespan, but by that much? Idk).

Still, fuck Odin. Especially since he’ll eventually try to shame Loki for doing the same thing he’s fucking boasting about here. And on a much smaller scale too.

…is it, though?

I actually think Loki’s relationship with being the centre of attention is really interesting in its complexity and we don’t discuss it enough. I’ve said this before, but he strikes me as the sort of person who craves attention but also wouldn’t really know what to do with it if he had it. He craves it as a result of neglect, because he’s never been shown recognition or validation. This is why he seems to revel in it in Stuttgart, even in (or maybe especially in?) his brainwashed state. But he also frequently comes across as pretty introverted and has horrible self-esteem, so I think on another level, sustained, genuine attention would make him feel kind of uncomfortable. Loki seems to believe that in order to be loved or respected, he has to literally be Thor, though. And Thor has always been the centre of attention, so for Loki, attention is synonymous with respect.

I find Loki’s relationship with wanting attention especially fascinating because I too both crave and fear it. As a borderline, I need it. When no one is paying attention to me, I lose my sense of identity. I feel as though I literally cease to exist. It’s excruciatingly painful. And yet, I have no authentic sense of self; I’m just a chameleon, and the closer people get to me, the more likely it is they’ll see behind my mask. They’ll realise it’s all a show and that I’m actually no one. And then they’ll leave. I can’t help wondering if that’s how Loki feels sometimes too.

Wait, what? You mean goat. His horns are shaped like a goat’s. This is a ram: 

This is a goat:

This is Loki:

Do you see now? They’re like a goat. Not a ram. Not a cow. A GOAT.

This book was written before Ragnarok was a thing, so it may be unfair to connect the two, but it still seems worth noting that it was Thor who reduced Loki to being no more than a trickster to begin with. “You could be more,” my ass. Loki’s problem has never been that he was one-dimensional; it was always that the people in his life, including Thor, refused to see any other dimensions to him. Which makes those words particularly cruel—as if they aren’t cruel enough already, what with the physical torture and all. 

Always happy to have cause to point out that

Loki was on Thor clean-up duty their whole lives; he certainly was not trying to kill Thor.

People like to point to Loki’s attempted genocide of the Jötnar and attempted(-ish? lol) conquest of Earth as proof that he’s some kind of violent maniac. But in a little place I like to call reality, Loki was historically far less aggressive and bloodthirsty than his peers.

Question: why is one conqueror evil and the other is righteously entitled to ruling over the Nine Realms?

Asgardian exceptionalism FTW

I can’t even begin to imagine what would lead you to expect such a thing, Odin. 😂

Uh, ‘cause it is?? And also their planet is MELTING without it??

This is all only within the first two chapters, btw. Lmao

—

—

—

“Looking for answers,” my foot.

YOU WOULD THINK SO, WOULDN’T YOU??

#i mean unless you knew heimdall #he only commits treason on days that end in y

—

—

What’d I say? Thor clean-up dutyyyyy 

Just wanna remind everyone that this 

is why he’s smiling during this scene 

because it makes me laugh every time. 😂 

—

My heart breaks every time I remember that second excerpt because literally ALL OF IT happened to him when he survived falling through the wormhole. My poor boy. 😭

But also of note… Loki gets cold (and also does not like being cold). This interests me because 1) as many are aware, the prevalent headcanon that Loki has a low body temperature irritates me and 2) it possibly(?) lends weight to the theory that he may not be fully Jötun, whether by virtue of his birth or Odin’s spell.

Haha, look at this Feminist Icon™ trying to take credit for his female friend’s accomplishments! Truly inspiring. 

#for some reason the ragnarok lovers have somehow decided that thor is both a feminist and lesbian icon #whatever that means 🤷‍♀️ #and i'm still trying very hard to figure out why #is it literally just because he *says* he respects women or whatever in that dumb rambly conversation with valkyrie?

Ooh… you were so close to getting the point, Volstagg. So close. Take your tongue off Odin’s boot for just a couple minutes longer.

Also, the author just forgot the name of the Casket. How did this book get published? 😂

JUST LOOKING FOR ANSWERS, HUH?

Because fuck Loki, amirite? He, uh… he’s a prince too, you know.

Also… Fandral, you dweeb 😂

…am I reading too much into this, or did Odin just literally forget that Loki exists?

On the other hand, the author also seemed to forget Loki existed for most of this chapter, so who knows. 🤷‍♀️

lmao @ Jane immediately trying to convince herself she’s too rational to be attracted to a stranger 

Honestly, though, big mood. 

Just your periodic reminder that Thor’s sycophantic friends KNEW Loki was right and decided to throw him under the bus anyway. 

Just as I’ve always said: That was it. That was their ENTIRE rationale. That Loki *could* have done it, therefore he must have. Please tell me these people have nothing to do with Asgard’s justice system.

…lol, jk, Asgard has no justice system.

Ok, first of all, no.

Second: thank you, Fandral. You’re a self-absorbed cad, but also evidently Thor’s least stupid friend.

Thirdly, how…? First, it was, “Loki arranged all this because he’s jealous of Thor.” Now they’ve suddenly jumped all the way to, “All of Asgard is in danger.” What exactly does Sif think Loki is planning? He’s gonna, what… assassinate Odin and then sell Asgard to the Jötnar?

—

Please stop hurting me.

Just so there’s no confusion: this one sentence explains everything Loki did for the rest of the movie. It explains how a person who has been historically non-aggressive suddenly transforms into a warmonger. To prove himself a real Asgardian, like his brother and father and grandfather. 

—

…why did Odin fall into the Odinsleep in two completely different scenes in this book? I’m super confused.

Also, we really need to talk about how cruel it is of Marvel to keep forcing Loki to prove his loyalty again and again and again when he’s been doing so almost literally since we met him. And by “we need to talk about it”, I mean I need to tie Kevin Feige and co. to a chair and spend a minimum of five hours lecturing them on how poorly they understand their own fucking character.

Let’s just be clear here: they’re talking about Loki. They’re saying Loki, their LEGITIMATE king, is an enemy of Asgard, based on evidence so paper-thin it’s practically invisible. Just… please, let that sink in. Take a moment to appreciate how utterly fucked up that is. 

I’m sorry (not really), but Thor was so much funnier before Ragnarok.

This scene has always kind of bugged me. If Odin removed Thor’s powers, how come he can still control the weather? Confusing.

So what exactly was Thor’s plan anyway, before he realised he couldn’t lift Mjölnir? He was just gonna call on Heimdall to help him commit treason AGAIN, show up on Asgard against the expressed command of his king, and… Odin would just shrug and be like, “You got me, son! I guess I can’t keep you down. Welcome home!”?

…I mean, I guess that more or less is what happened in the end, but it’s hard to imagine it would have still gone down that way without all the stuff that happened with Loki. Idk.  

#look what i'm saying is... thor is not exactly a thinking person #no one on asgard is a thinking person #except loki but he's crazy now so he's also thinking somewhat poorly lol

Cool, Thor. Now imagine feeling that way for ONE THOUSAND YEARS and develop a little fucking empathy for your brother.

But you won’t.

You’ll brush off his feelings of worthlessness as “imagined slights”. 😒

Nice that somebody knows how the royal line of succession works, I guess… 

That sound you hear? Yeah, that’s just my heart breaking. NBD. 

First, they mislabelled it the Casket of Eternal Winters. Now it’s the Cask of Ancient Winters. Author must have been thirsty when they wrote this. Lol 

Look, not to nitpick, but this is not the recommended procedure when you see a storm that you don’t believe is of supernatural origin coming. I’m just saying. Lol 

Uh… ‘cause he is?? And your pals are committing treason AGAIN, Thor, so it technically is responding to a threat to Asgard. Just FYI.

Anyways, this is an important point that doesn’t get made often enough. People want to act like Loki illegally usurped the throne somehow, but even without the deleted scene that explicitly shows Frigga passing rulership to him (a scene which is, for some reason, entirely skipped over in this book, but whatever), understand this: Loki could not have controlled the Destroyer unless he was legitimately King of Asgard. The fact that he’s able to do so is irrefutable proof that his rulership is valid.

lmao you little shit

So… here’s my issue with this scene (and with Thor as a character): He always assumes that Loki’s acting out specifically to hurt him. That Loki’s entire life and thought process revolves around Thor. He does it in this scene, he does it in The Avengers… it’s just a chronic thing with Thor. Everything is viewed through the lens of Loki inexplicably hating him.

But that’s… just not accurate. Yes, Loki harbours a lot of jealousy towards Thor. But that’s not what’s happening in this scene. Loki is not trying to kill Thor here because he wants him dead; he’s doing it because Thor (and his friends) are getting in the way of Loki completing his ultimate goal. Loki tried to solve this problem non-violently, by lying about Odin being dead. It’s Thor’s friends who all but forced his hand by going behind his back and trying to bring Thor back to Asgard against Loki’s (and Odin’s!) direct orders.

For all the humility he’s learned in the past few days, this entire speech is still really all about Thor. About assuming that Loki’s doing this for personal reasons, because he holds a grudge against Thor for some unknown reason. This is implicit in his request to “take [my life] and end this.” It never even occurs to him that his friends are traitors to the Crown and Loki, as King of Asgard, is perhaps justified in pursuing them.

It also needs to be acknowledged that Thor’s apology here is hollow, even if it’s ultimately coming from his heart, because he has no idea what he’s apologising for. “Whatever I have done to wrong you” is not an apology. An apology addresses specific hurtful actions taken and commits to not repeating those mistakes in the future. Thor cannot commit to not repeating the hurtful things he’s done, because he doesn’t know what he’s done. Despite his best intentions, what Thor is doing here is actually kind of manipulative. He’s not addressing any substantive issue between the two of them; he’s just trying to talk Loki down. And it ultimately fails not because Loki doesn’t care or because he wants Thor dead, but because it doesn’t actually change anything.

Finally and only semi-relatedly, we should maybe at some point talk about the fact that Loki, who is stated to be a master tactician, has displayed a weird pattern of hardly ever being as lethal as he could be. He freezes Heimdall in place instead of killing him outright; he backhands Thor with the Destroyer instead of incinerating him; he, well… *gestures vaguely at almost the entirety of the first Avengers movie* Anytime the violence is even a little bit personal, he seems to hedge. Odd behaviour for somebody who’s supposedly super evil.

I’m sorry, I know I’ve pointed it out at least a hundred times before, but I just can’t encounter this scene in any form without taking a moment to appreciate how underrated and hilarious it is.

I also genuinely wonder how many Ragnarok stans who have accused me of having no sense of humour, have failed to laugh at moments like this one. Kinda feel like if you need to have the comedy spoonfed to you in the form of ass jokes, maybe you’re the one whose sense of humour is lacking. 🤷‍♀️

Let’s be super clear: this is not what happened. Loki did not betray Odin; he was betrayed by Odin. He did not open Asgard to its enemies; he attempted, misguidedly, to destroy Asgard’s enemies. And he most certainly did not commit suicide out of a sense of guilt.

I’m not saying Loki did nothing wrong, nor am I saying he feels no regret for the lives he has taken. What I’m saying is there’s no indication that he believes he betrayed Odin or Asgard in the process. Which makes perfect sense, because he didn’t. Everything he tried to do was for Odin and Asgard. It was misguided and horrible, yes, but it can hardly be classified as a betrayal.

The insurmountable burden on Loki is not that he did terrible things, but that no matter what he does or how hard he tries, Odin will never look at him with anything but contempt. Consider once more these passages from the very beginning of the book, at Thor’s coronation:

—

Consider that this book goes to great pains to point out that Odin favours Thor because Thor is a warrior like him. And yet even when Loki embraces that, even when he acts more war-like than ever before, Odin rejects him— just as he always has.

There is a reason why this moment is the last time Loki will ever call Odin his father. Because he realises once and for all that, no, nothing he tries will ever be good enough; no, Odin won’t ever look at him with pride. That is Loki’s burden. That is why he lets go.

The epilogue is really just two pages of making me want to vomit. 

There’s your party where Thor and a certain subset of the fandom insist that Loki was mourned. There’s barely an indication here that anyone even perceives his demise as a negative thing.

“[Sif] could see Frigga thought [Loki was dead] as well” also contradicts the tie-in comic for TDW, so I don’t know what the author is on about there. Unlike the majority of Marvel comics, the tie-in comics are canon to the MCU, so it’s a bizarre statement to make.

COULD YOU SMEAR THE DEAD* ABUSE VICTIM A LITTLE HARDER, PLEASE? Fucking hell.

No matter how many times I encounter this scene, in whatever format, I still fail to become desensitized to how disgusting it is. I realise there’s a good chance that whatever version of events Thor has been told was twisted at best; but how you can look at a man whose son has just committed suicide under any circumstances and say there will never be a better father than that guy, is utterly beyond my capacity to understand.

And Odin’s “you’ve already made me proud” line just feels like extra salt in the wound because, again, Loki let go because he realized Odin would never say those words to him. And yet they come so damn easily when it’s Thor.

Fuck this entire family so much. I think I hate them more than Loki does. Sometimes I wonder what he would think about that. How he would react to knowing that not only is he actually loved, but that he’s so loved that people are genuinely furious at the way he’s been mistreated. That there are people who regularly devolve into full-on rants because they just can’t contain how much anger they have towards the people who hurt him. I think he’d have a hard time wrapping his head around that concept, tbh.

Anyways, to end on a not-completely-depressing note, I’m still waiting for someone at Marvel to explain how Loki knew what Thor said in this scene after plummeting into a wormhole. ‘Cause he references this conversation as Fauxdin at the end of TDW. So like… ?? Did he steal Odin’s memories before he erased them? Because that would be… kind of neat, actually. And very clever. Not entirely ethical, of course, but it’s Odin, so fuck ethics.

WELP, THAT’S IT. Thanks for following along with my dumbassery, hope you enjoyed yourselves. Lol

[deantransgressions2]

13x02 the rising son

21 transgressions. enjoy.

#1: dean criticized sam for wanting to protect jack, and then devalued jack’s entire existence to an “it”.

sam: “look… losing mom and cas, that’s a lot to process, dean, especially on no sleep. and the kid...”

dean: “the “kid”? come on, man, you know how this plays out. kook, when we try to bend the rules, pretend that the bad guys aren’t so bad or that things will get fixed, that’s when people that we care about get hurt. and then we end up doing what we should’ve done in the first place, which is end the problem. so this time, let’s start with the obvious. soon as i find a way to take care of… it.”

time tag: 3:17

#2: after sam failed again to make dean see jack as a child, he tried to make dean see jack as an asset. dean refused to listen or consider any of sam’s insights, and admitted that he is giving up on family, which is something he claims he would never ever ever ever ever do. 

sam: “dean, “the problem” might be our only shot at saving mom.”

dean: “mom’s gone. there’s no fixing that.”

time tag: 3:44

#3: jack was happily watching scooby doo and bothering nobody, so of course dean walked over and scolded him, then turned the tv off. apparently watching tv is illegal now yall!! 

time tag: 9:03

#4: told jack to take the couch and threw a bible at him. luckily, sam isn’t a child murderer and made sure jack felt welcome. sam = good dad. but, dean winchester is already worse of a father than john was. you hate to see it. 

time tag: 9:11

#5: dean criticized jack for eating the exact same way he does. mocking a 3 day old child just for the sake of it, just to make himself feel better. he is pathetic. idk why jack and sam put up with him these next 3 seasons. 

dean: “you can slow down, you know. that’s stuff’s not gonna disappear.”

sam: “ever seen you eat, dean?”

time tag: 10:02

#6: yells at jack for copying his movements. he’s 3 days old...3 days old. 3. 

time tag: 11:35

#7: sam has been rooting for jack to not be evil. he is focusing on WHO jack is not what he is. dean, however, is counting on jack being evil so he can murder him. the confirmation bias is real here. any instance of jack showing humanity dean just tunes it out. this conversation should remind you of dean’s view of sam in s4/5

donatello: “yes, well, not so much anymore. but, uh…look at you. the waves of power… so intense.”

dean: “maybe less human than we thought.”

donatello: “fascinating. you know, i’ve met your father. your power’s nothing like his. not dark, not toxic.”

sam: “that so?”

dean: “not yet.”

time tag: whole time but 15:58

#8: he was a dick to the tattoo artist for no reason expect that he loves to take his anger out on others. 

time tag: 16:44

#9: when in doubt blame sam! when in doubt accuse sam! when in doubt manipulate sam! wooohooo!!!

sam: “so you heard donatello. no evil vibes from jack.”

dean: “proves nothing, except that you’re way too attached to this kid. you need to see this for what it is, okay?”

time tag: 16:54

#10: lessons from our sexist macho man icon:

jack: “it hurt.”

dean: “okay, see, sometimes, things hurt, so you just man up and deal with it.”

time tag: 17:21

#11: some more of dean refusing to listen to other’s correct observations of jack, because there is no changing his mind that jack is evil. he doesn’t need proof that jack is evil, because he doesn’t want it. he wants to murder jack regardless of who he is. dean only cares about WHAT jack is. sigh. 2x03 i miss you. 

time tag: 18:43

#12: dean claimed that since cas loved jack, jack is therefore responsible for his murder. even though it was literally lucifer that murdered cas, not jack. so, using dean’s logic: sam and john killed mary, sam killed jess, dean killed john, sam killed dean, sam and dean and bobby killed jo and ellen, dean killed sam, dean and sam killed cas multiple times, sam and dean killed kevin....etc etc. do you see how fucking stupid dean is being rn?

sam: “okay, look, yeah, jack is on lucifer’s family tree. but we don’t know if that dna is stronger than Kelly’s, or his connection with cas.”

dean: “oh, you mean the connection that got cas killed?”

sam: “i’m just saying, jack doesn’t have to be evil. we can teach him not to be.”

time tag: 18:53

#13: dean called jack ‘the devil’ which made jack so upset he ran away. this is a transgression obviously towards jack, but also towards sam. dean said that a 3 day old child (who literally hasn’t done anything wrong) is the devil. he said it in front of his brother who was tortured by the ACTUAL devil (and michael) for centuries. it’s insensitive and fucked up beyond belief for dean to use his brother’s abuser to try and manipulate him to conform to his beliefs on jack.

NOT TO MENTION that dean is the only member of team free will with absolutely no supernatural abilities at all. he does not understand jack. he does not understand lucifer. dean is the LAST person who should have a say in if jack is good or evil. 

time tag: 19:25

#14: this is a abuse apology. many victims of abuse are manipulated to apologize for them and sympathize with them. this is a prime example of that:

sam: “dean doesn’t hate you. it… look, sometimes the wires in dan’s head get crossed and...and he gets frustrated, and then he mixes frustration with anger, and...and fear.”

jack: “why would he be afraid?”

sam: “because dean feels like it’s his job to protect everyone.”

time tag: 20:45

#15: did the writers include this scene to emphasize that dean is john (but worse)....because that’s exactly what it did. 

bartender: “i hated my old man. I ran away myself. see, my mom would never stick up for me. but…you know kids. no matter what, they still want the old man’s approval. well, that’s how it was with me, just…”

dean: “you know, that’s, uh, that’s how it was with me, too.” 

i’m not sure what dean is referring to here because based on what the bartender is saying, sam would relate more to her story than dean but ok! sure! pity party time needs no logic

time tag: 22:17

#16: sam had to seperate jack and dean in order to protect jack. sam felt that jack was safer with a man that had no soul (donatello), over his own brother. and he was right!

time tag: 23:11

#17: dean made fun of sam and jack by calling jack sam’s “new pal” as a way to not only degrade jack, but also ridicule sam. 

time tag: 27:08

#18: dean is angry that sam isn’t blindly following along with his plans for jack’s death. and everything sam tried to say to get dean out of his child murdering mindset goes in one ear and out the other. 

sam: “point is…if you and i are gonna do this, keep jack on the right side of things, then...then we have to be on the same page.”

dean: “okay. well, that’s the problem, though, sam, ‘cause we’re not on the same page. like, at all.”

sam: “all right. you know what? i know what’s going on here.”

dean: “oh. okay. well, please, tell me, what’s going on here?”

sam: “you thinking mom is gone and cas is gone, and that jack can’t be saved. dean, after everything we’ve gone through… we just lost people we love, people who have been in our lives for a long time. everything’s upside-down. i get it. but we’ve been down before. i mean, rock bottom. and we find a way. We fix it because that’s what we do. and jack w-wants to do the right thing. jack’s scared to death of who he is, and he’s scared of you.” 

you know who else was scared of their father figure? dean. and sam. and now jack. dean stans can hate john all they want but the truth is dean is far worse. they both deserve a special place in hell together

time tag: 27:19

#19: the mental gymnastics it takes to come to this conclusion about jack. to ignore any and all proof that jack isn’t evil. it’s shocking how strongly dean holds onto hate and his need to kill. 

sam: “dean, wait a second. the kid came through for us today. jack saved us.” dean: “no. no, whatever that was, that was a reflex. it was a sneeze. maybe next time he sneezes, he kills us. goodnight.”

time tag: 39:32

#20: dean drove jack to self harm. dean then proceeded to angrily tell him off and call him names for doing so. 

dean: “okay. what the hell? give me that. you...don’t be an idiot. look, a, this is not gonna do anything to you, okay? and b, you… what the hell?”

time tag: 40:35

#21: this is psychological abuse. this is child abuse. this scene is as bad as the panic room of s4. disgusting. and some people actually ship this man with this child’s father (castiel). get help. 

dean: “you know, my brother thinks you can be saved.” jack: “you don’t believe that.” dean: “no, i don’t.”

jack: “so… if you’re right?”

dean: “if i’m right… and it comes to killing you… i’ll be the one to do it.”

time tag: 41:07

[frannyzooey]

Okay so I've spent a long time curating stuff you wrote and posted because I miss reading your writing (I went all the way back to May 13th, then Tumblr, this hellsite, refreshed 🤡) and would like to say a few things:

You write so much and so beautifully and prolifically, I'm truly amazed by your talent (if u ever hear a "all hail kelli" coming from somewhere, know that I was the one who started the chant)

I'm SO EXCITED for your new Marcus Moreno fic and your Javier Peña fic, I got more and more excited with each ask you answered/pic you tagged as "xxx inspo" about them

Tumblr didn't notify me of weeknights chapter 4, which means it really hates me but that's cool, I already decided to turn on notifications on your blog bc literally every single thing you write is Art™ of the prettiest and most wonderful kind, so I refuse to miss any of it 😤

I am bewildered at how sweet and kind and thoughtful you are - this "dive", of sorts, i did into your blog showed me just how much of a good and caring person you are, your answers and comments on others' fics were always so wholesome and joyful, idk man, you really are special! And it didn't really come as a surprise, but it just makes me incredibly warm inside thinking that you're out there making people's days better and being this bright light in the community, not to mention i still can't believe my luck to be able to call you a friend. You are wonderful 🥺❤️

I just remembered something else, I'm very 👀👀👀 at Gracie's happy ending which you hinted at in an answer 👁️👁️ is it out already? Did I miss it? Hdjdjdjsjsh

Anyways. I must sound like a broken record by now saying how much I love, appreciate and admire you, but I just can't help myself 🤷 now I'll go and read all the stuff I missed out on from you and I'd like to thank you once again for writing and sharing your marvelous talent for free like the literal angel you are 🥰✨

lela ❤️

I truly do not deserve this kind of love — your reblogs (which gave me life yesterday), your endless kindness, this wonderful ask just dropped into my inbox — it’s been a rough couple of days and it’s like you knew I needed that extra shot of love and came bursting in here with it like the ray of sunshine you are 🥰

1) I don’t even know what to say to this — I am so beyond happy you like my writing, it makes me so happy to share it and sometimes I get a little nervous about posting too much or wish I was a little bit more careful? choosing? about my writing but the way you just took those insecurities and said “NOT TODAY” — thank you 🥰❤️

2) eeeeee!!! I am so excited you are excited! I have a lot of ideas for them and it’s been nice to explore the fic in asks because it kinda takes the pressure off writing something more substantial? longer? more structured? looking at those tags is kinda dreamy, ain’t it? 😍

3) BUT THEN YOU READ IT AND MADE ME CRY with your reblog and I’m still weepy — thank you ☺️

4) this is something that is really important to me because sharing takes guts, takes being vulnerable, takes putting yourself out there and as someone who very much struggles with that in real life I want to make sure that I am beyond welcoming and enthusiastic to anyone who wants to share anything on here. kindness takes so little yet goes such a long way and I love seeing it on my dash — it makes people feel so welcomed and then we get more content which is always the goal, right? ❤️ you are my friend, something for which I am very thankful and you are one of the biggest resources of support and kindness — the generosity you provide with your time to support and uplift others is truly inspiring and I love you for that. 🥰

5) Gracie IS gonna get her ending — you didn’t miss it ❤️ feel free to send me any asks you have about her in the meantime, I’ve missed her so!

YOU are the angel, a true blessing and I appreciate you more than I can say. I am HONORED you took a deep dive on my blog — if that ain’t a love letter, idk what IS. 🥰🥰❤️

I LOVE YOU