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equallyreal · 23 days

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Transmission Received: The Call Is Coming From Inside The House And I'm Mad About It

Or, a response to National Novel Writing Month's stance on Artificial Intelligence.

But before we get into that, a quick story update: I actually haven't been working on much of anything lately due to some IRL issues going on (nothing too serious, don't worry, I am still alive and healthy). The Edge is going to be on a soft break until I get my energy levels back up to serious writing levels, but I will continue to make update posts to keep people in the loop about how well I'm recharging.

Unfortunately for the people behind National Novel Writing Month, while my energy levels might be low, my spite levels are always at an all-time high, and they are fully fueling me to take down their official position on AI. But first, a timeline.

I wake up to a message in a group discord I'm in with a screenshot of National Novel Writing Month making some...interesting comments about their position on AI.

While going to tumblr to see if anyone else is talking about this, I find this post my @the-pen-pot featuring the screenshot I saw. In the responses, I see @darkjediqueen saying that the article had been updated @besodemieterd giving some information that I'm going to keep secret for now because it creates a truly amazing punchline.

I get off tumblr and read the updated article.

I feel a deep rage in my soul that cannot be tamed by group chat participation, and I click the "write a post" button.

So, with that out of the way, let's break this down, shall we?

The original post, as seen in the screenshot of the above post, contained the following two paragraphs:

NaNoWriMo does not explicitly support any specific approach to writing, nor does it explicitly condemn any approach, including the use of AI. NaNoWriMo's mission is to "provide the structure, community, and encouragement to help people use their voices, achieve creative goals, and build new worlds—on and off the page." We fulfill our mission by supporting the humans doing the writing. Please see this related post that speaks to our overall position on nondiscrimination with respect to approaches to creativity, writer's resources, and personal choice. We also want to be clear in our belief that the categorical condemnation of Artificial Intelligence has classist and abelist undertones, and that questions around the use of AI tie to questions around privilege.

This was all I saw when I first heard about this, and this on its own was enough to tap into my spite as an energy source. The second paragraph, in particular, was infuriating. "People who argue against AI are classist or abelist" is a terrible take I've seen floating around AI Bro Twitter, and to see it regurgitated by an organization that is supposed to be all about writing was, to put it simply, a lot.

But, as noted in the timeline, I did see that they had updated the article (about two hours ago as of me working on writing this), so I went to the updated post to see what was said. Somehow, it had gotten worse. I'll be addressing the updated post on a point by point basis, so if you want to read the whole thing without my commentary, here you go.

The first paragraph is the same was it was in the screenshot. The first major different is an added paragraph that begins like this:

Note: we have edited this post by adding this paragraph to reflect our acknowledgment that there are bad actors in the AI space who are doing harm to writers and who are acting unethically. We want to make clear that, though we find the categorical condemnation for AI to be problematic for the reasons stated below, we are troubled by situational abuse of AI, and that certain situational abuses clearly conflict with our values.

First off, I find it a big troubling that while they discuss bad actors in the AI space, they won't acknowledge that these same bad actors are often the ones pushing the whole "being anti-AI makes you morally bad, actually" accusations with the most fervor.

Second, why are you not more strongly discussing and pushing back against the "situational" abuse of AI? Why is the focus on how using AI can be good, actually, rather than acknowledging the fears and angers of your userbase around how generative AI is ruining an art form that you claim to want to help foster? I have a theory about this, but we're saving that for a bit further down.

The paragraph concludes:

We also want to make clear that AI is a large umbrella technology and that the size and complexity of that category (which includes both non-generative and generative AI, among other uses) contributes to our belief that it is simply too big to categorically endorse or not endorse.

The funny thing is, in a vacuum, I don't have a problem with this statement. They're not wrong: AI is an umbrella term with a lot of complexity to it, and I can see how people would be hesitant to condemn the technology as a whole when there are uses of it that aren't awful. If their whole statement had been this, I would have less of a problem with it (still some of a problem, sure, but I wouldn't be writing a lengthy blog post about it) But they had to delve into how Being Against AI is Morally Bad, Actually, which is where the post continues from here.

The last big change between the screenshot and the updated article is in this paragraph:

We believe that to categorically condemn AI would be to ignore classist and ableist issues surrounding the use of the technology, and that questions around the use of AI tie to questions around privilege.

This is much less strongly-worded than the original paragraph. If I had to guess, they got a lot of criticism regarding the original sentiment (namely, assuming that disabled and poor people can only make art if a machine does it for them is actually way more abelist and classist than saying generative AI is bad), and dialed it back through this rewording. They could've just worded it this way from the beginning instead of saying the dumbest possible thing they could've, but whatever.

I don't know if the rest of this was in the article from the beginning or if it was added later, as the original screenshot I saw only showed the first two paragraphs. Regardless of whether this is them trying to cover their asses by explaining logic they should've explained from the start or if this was always here, I still have major issues with these points, so we're going to address them next.

(As a quick full disclosure note: I had to transcribe the rest of the article instead of copy-pasting it because I lost the ability to do so at about this point in the blog writing process. I don't know what happened or why, I just wanted to let you know that almost all typos are my fault, but beyond that I recorded the text as-written at the time that I had the article up in another tab. I promise.)

Classism. Not all writers have the financial ability to hire humans to help at certain phases of their writing. For some writers, the decision to use AI is a practical, not an ideological, one. The financial ability to engage a human for feedback and review assumes a level of privilege that not all community members possess.

You may note that they are discussing the use of AI at what seems to be the editing process. As someone in my group chat pointed out, National Novel Writing Month has nothing to do with editing, and everything to do with writing. The only way you can currently use AI for the act of writing is if you use generative AI to do it for you, which is, I think we can all agree, not actually writing and actually bad. This emphasis on editing ties into the punchline, which we'll be getting to shortly.

On a final note before we proceed though, I would like to carry over an argument about this matter that is used in the small business/handcrafts sector: If you can't afford it now, save up for it. Don't devalue the work of other people (in this case, editors and things like sensitivity readers or beta readers) by saying it's too expensive and I can get it cheaper on Shein by using AI. Save up and support your fellow workers if it really means something to you, or just do the editing yourself and hope for the best. (Disclosure: I don't have an editor. Or a beta reader. I can't say my writing is the most polished all the time, but I get by just fine.)

Abelism. Not all brains have the same abilities and not all writers function at the same level of education or proficiency in the language in which they are writing. Some brains and ability levels require outside help or accommodations to achieve certain goals. The notion that all writers "should" be able to perform certain functions independently or [sic] is a position that we disagree with wholeheartedly. There is a wealth of reasons why individuals can't "see" the issues in their writing without help.

First of all...just say "disabled." I promise your hands will not fall off if you type that word.

Second, level of education should really fall under the class bullet point, but that's just me nitpicking.

Third, I would argue that the real goal here shouldn't be to say "no using AI is finem actually", but rather to a) dismantle the idea of what writing "should" look like in order to make it more inclusive, and b) fight back against people who bully imperfect writers. Those are actually more noble goals than propping up a corrupt industry by using the disabled as your scapegoat.

Fourth, the dangling "or" is not a typo I take credit for. It was in the article as of me transcribing it. If I had to guess, there was more to this sentence at some point, and they just didn't fully delete the thought.

Fifth, funny how this is once again more about the editing process of writing and not the writing part. Even more funny when we view the final point.

General Access Issues. All of these considerations exist within a larger system in which writers don't always have equal access to resources along the chain. For example, underrepresented minorities are less likely to be offered traditional publishing contracts, which places some, by default, into the indie author space, which inequitably creates upfront cost burdens that authors who do not suffer from systemic discrimination may have to incur.

This one really pissed me off, because the indie author sphere is actively under attack by the use of AI. AI-created scam books on Amazon's kindle publishing platform are increasing and actively stealing attention and money away from human authors (see this article). Sci-Fi magazine Clarkesworld had to shut down new author submissions due to the influx of AI generated stories, and while the head of Bards and Sages cited physical and mental health problems as a reason for shutting down the company entirely, having to weed through AI generated submissions and the way such bad actors are impacting the industry were listed as the final straw. There are probably even more examples of this, but I only did a cursory google search to avoid being here all day.

Simply put: AI is not helping authors who have to go to the indie space in order to escape systemic problems. It is actively killing the space instead. I don't want to sound doom and gloom, but if this keeps up, these authors aren't going to have anywhere to run to. A refusal to condemn the ways in which AI is impacting these spaces does, in my opinion, make you complicit.

On a final note, you might notice that this point is seemingly once again focusing on editing, not writing. Which means it's time to unveil the punchline pointed out by besodemieterd, the response that made me lose my mind:

They made this bullshit up to justify them getting into cahoots with an AI company called ProWritingAid, it's all over their instagram.

I immediately ran to factcheck this...and it's true. ProWritingAid is, in fact, a more in-depth Grammarly that uses AI for its functionality. They are a sponsor for National Novel Writing Month, and the first three posts on their instagram are dedicated to this partnership.

I completely back up besodemieterd's belief that they wrote this article to justify their taking this sponsorship. If I had to guess, they started taking a lot of flack for taking ProWritingAid as a sponsor and wrote this article in order to defend their decision to do so without actually saying so directly.

I don't want to shame NaNoWriMo for taking sponsors on the whole, as they do need money to stay afloat. However, taking an AI company as a sponsor and then defending their stance by essentially calling people with concerns about this morally wrong and bad is, as the kids say, clown behavior. This is clown shit. It's laughable, it's cringe, it's incredibly disheartening. It's so, so bad.

The next paragraph is just about how they "see value in sharing resources about AI and any emerging technology, issue, or discussion that is relevant to the writing community as a whole." Since my stance on this can be summed up as "AI bad and platforming it is bad", I'm going to skip over this paragraph. I will, however, address their last paragraph:

For all of those reasons, we absolutely do not condemn AI, and we recognize and respect writers who believe that AI tools are right for them. We recognize that some members of our community stand staunchly against AI for themselves, and that's perfectly fine. As individuals, we have the freedom to make our own decisions.

So, basically, you're incapable of saying "no" to money and decided to lean into the talking points of bad faith actors and refuse to address the destruction that generative AI is wrecking on the writing world in order to justify why you took a certain sponsor. In taking this middle of the road, individual choice-ass response, you also threw human editors and beta readers under the bus by justifying the use of technology that actively removes them from the space. You are making the writing world a worse place, which is absolutely crazy when writing is supposed to be the thing you're all about.

Truly amazing. And they're doing this on Labor Day, too.

In conclusion, I will be dead in the dirt before you spot me participating in National Novel Writing Month again. Which is probably for the best. My life can only handle so many self-imposed deadlines. I guess I should be grateful to them for removing one from my plate.

#story check in #rant post

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beautyofaphrodite · 12 days

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Happy Friday!

As Friday is a day to honor Lady Aphrodite, every week I like to create a post similar to this, where I talk about a certain topic and have questions for you to share or think about. Last week’s post can be found here. As always, this may not apply to everyone.

Today’s Topic: Aphrodite and Being Queer

Tumblr is known for being a very queer app, so I wouldn’t be surprised if many who see this are part of the LGBTQIA+ community. I’m going to refer to us a “queer” instead of the acronym because it’s long lol.

Lately, as there has been more acceptance and representation for queer people, more and more have been realizing they’re queer. We have always been here, but we are more and more seen and loved than we have been in the past.

Lady Aphrodite has always been a queer goddess. She is a goddess of love, and that means all love, whether that means love between a man and a woman, to two people of the same gender, to more than two in a relationship, to queerplatonic love, or any way that love can be experienced. In addition, She can be seen as trans or intersex with Her form of Aphroditos, someone with a “feminine” shape and “male genitals”.

Many, including me, see Her with more modern labels of queerness. In communication with Her, She has shown Herself to be transfeminine, pansexual, and polyamorous (completely UPG, not a belief everyone will share and She may use different labels or none at all if you ask Her).

Because of Her domains and how She is perceived, many of Aphrodite’s beloved followers and worshippers tend to be queer. Not all of them, of course, but many. For an example that is not modern, take Sappho, the poet where the term sapphic comes from. She often mentioned Lady Aphrodite in her poetry.

In my experience and the experiences from others that I’ve heard about, Lady Aphrodite helps a lot with identity and who we are. I know She’s helped people with internalized queerphobia, navigating relationships whether queer or not, embracing gender identity and expression, and much more.

I love our queer Goddess so much 🫶 I chose this topic in particular for this week as I’ve been struggling with being perceived as female lately. Usually I don’t care how people see me, I know nobody will use my pronouns irl so I just don’t care but I’ve been dressing feminine because I like it and have been getting more feminine comments and I knew that would happen and that that’s what happens when I present femininely but it sucks :/ (sorry for the little vent y’all)

Today’s Question

Does Lady Aphrodite appear queer to you in some way? If you are queer, has She helped you with that somehow?

Challenge

Be a good ally to others in the community or just the community in general. This includes those you don’t understand or think are “weird”. Ally is a verb, not an adjective.

Thank you all for reading this and happy Friday! As always, please think a little bit about the questions and feel free to share your answers if you choose! I will share my answers in a reblog as always.

To anyone who sees this, may you notice love and beauty all around you.

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herejusttosufferalong · 2 months

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Ok so this might be a long rant, I just came across this account, after a lovely woman i follow on TT. She said in her live that a blog she likes one tumblr account, so I had a wee nosy. Well after watching Tifs live (our captain) the other night, my gut feeling about this whole situation with L, N and A:

I only started to ship L&N late April this year. I just was excited to see polin for their season after reading the book. Then I seen N and L interviews and saw their chemistry & connection I was hooked. I don’t ship people irl but I did always like Tom and Zendaya, I thought they would be cute together but nothing hardcore. Then L& N came into my life and now I can’t function properly without thinking about these two. I like the whole world has seen this two people that have captured our hearts, with their crazy chemistry. Which made a lot fans go crazy thinking they were a real couple and still want them to be.

As I said I newly lukola fan but after watching Tifs live and reading the info she had, also looking at other content and speaking to other fans. I believe my gut feeling is right, ( just my opinion) don’t come from me lol. 1: I believe L fell for N that first day they met at the dance rehearsal. I mean for someone who doesn’t have good memory, he remember everything that day. Like you said I believe he pushed those feelings down as he was in newly relationship. Also N was in a relationship, it wasn’t their time. They were great friends, laughed, joked and even flirted irl or SM but never crossed that boundary.

2: I believe the chemistry we were seeing in season 1 and 2 was them giving each other subtle hits, that they will have to finally give into repressed feelings once they become leads. L was still in a longtime relationship with his gf but N wasn’t in hers anymore, so she was having single girl era. Then bang they are told they are the leads the next season. Both gear up for it by L getting fit, healthy and trim down. N also got fit, healthy and went to the gym. They both threw everything into making this the best season(which I believe they did). Then started to film season3 when they can’t hide their feelings anymore. The gf caught on to this and that when things started to turn sour for L and gf, she got jealous and insecure about his feelings. She started getting hate from fans. Once she started doing shady things like copy N style and comment (WFT on camera) when the episode 2 season 2, when Colin’s comes back from his trip and sees Pen for the first time. Then J and L unliked N posts and didn’t interact with her as much. Also around that time N came out to defend J and stop the hate. (If I couldn’t love this woman anymore than I do. She is a incredible, kind and loyal friend to have in your life). Around this time L was on down low liking posts N friends posted about her, knowing that J wasn’t following them on SM to see. 3: As I said when season3 began all those feelings they both had came out and they couldn’t hide it anymore. You can see it by the reactions of the cast and crew saw, they slowly were letting us know that it was real what we saw and felt. I mean the fact that he wasn’t able to see her in certain dresses until the last minute to get his real reaction or that the director took all the dancers off the set, to only have N&S dance in front of L to get that pure jealousy and anger from him. (BTW that nearly broke that man) haha which I love, I know am evil 😏. Or the fact that N had a fake hen party with cast and crew. Do not get me started on the ‘sound proof’ carriage or the broken furniture. Around those scenes were being filmed the shit was hitting the fan with L&J, they believed to be broken up around the time of the mirror scene. We all know how relaxed they were with each other in those days, as N said “we were so relaxed, we spent the day under the covers naked not wanting to get up”. I mean come you two 🙈 So L was coming home after doing those intimate scenes and couldn’t detached from it. So it is believed around this time J cheated on L with a co star, of course this is all rumoured but Ls mum, aunt and grandma liked a lot of lukolas posts. That scene when he finds out about pen being LW, he was really crying and even catch’s on his words, it also makes N say his name because she can’t see him hurting. So that’s why she help him to heal after the break up, she wanted him not in pain anymore. That’s when everything changed.

4: N and L friendship grows stronger and stronger around part two they both were single and they give into their feelings. So when you watch the ally scene when he finds her out on the night before their wedding and they argue he push’s her up against the door. L uses his left hand to lift up her skirt, Colin is right handed but L is left handed. Also if you listen to that scene without the music, you can hear him saying N name. The last scene they filmed together was their last intimate scene and she slips the tongue in while he sucks on it. He also came to her last day of filming to support her AKA the pic of him seating on the floor while she hugging him 🫠So I believe that they both hooked up around this time and even went on secret dates. He was all in and was ready to go into the relationship with her. This is when it hits her, he needs to be single, she was going to be busy, he starting his new play… they had to put the breaks on it for awhile. That’s why she always says “what is meant for you, won’t pass you by”, something my mum says to me every day. N knows she be called to other women, that she is older, that her image would be damaged if they came out as a couple around that time. Because he loves her so much he couldn’t do that to her, so he agrees even though it is killing him. That’s when A appears. 5: He goes on to have his HBS with the lads and the rat 🐀 (Rory) I said what I said. He has fun and then meets A, she fun and exciting, just someone to have fun with, who also fits in his friends group. They date have fun, go on double dates, parties and events. They never put a label on it but she his gf in not so many words. Then they begin their six month press tour and all that pent up feelings come back out again. They were unhinged, flirty and their chemistry was through the roof. They couldn’t stop it if they tried. They have understanding like last year they couldn’t go public if they wanted to because of the image wouldn’t be right. That’s when A jealous streak came out, by slowly letting the fans know she was about and don’t get any ideas. She post videos of her of dancing in hotels were L was staying. That’s when she started to troll the fans and N too. I think the final nail that hit the coffin was the Ireland trip. We got the famous fixing the hair in middle of an interview(let’s be real L went to another world, he lean in and closed his eyes never wanting to open them up again). We also got him meeting her mum and went out with her family. A could see he was pulling back from her that’s why she invited herself to the NY premier were we got the awkward hug from A&N. So that’s why she called the paps and messed up the situation with L&N. I like a lot of people felt that pap walk was a slap to all our faces. I believe like you said she went rogue. All she had to do was wait a week and it wouldn’t have been as bad. The fandom would have been mad but would got over it. However she stole that limelight and you could see he annoyed by the pics. So HBS 2 happens, N starts working on her her new film. L has events, parties and holidays with A and the friend group. However he found ways to mention N in every interview or posts and she tells him in some ways that he is always with her by the pics she posts too. Like he said on JF they are on a break. Now they waiting for things to calm down and distance himself from A. But she doesn’t like and has now joined together with rat boy and his gf. They are trolling fans, N, leaking pics and videos of L when he just wants to be private. I also believe he has totally checked out with this relationship. You can see it in her eyes and body language, it doesn’t lie, he’s not happy. I also think his losing work opportunities with this bad pr at the minute. Unlike N who is booked and busy.

So to conclude this rant sorry btw I just had to get this all out of my head 🙈 it was doing my head in. I believe once season 4 begins and L&N have to be a married couple. They go back to their funny, flirty and unhinged. I then believe A bags will be packed because he will do all he can to protect N and her image. He also try to get new jobs as well. Were A might be on the next season of love island. I really hope not because I seen enough of that drama queen and I like to enjoy the show. I think next year we might get the confirmation of them both being an official couple. That’s when I be cracking up the Prosecco and champagne 🍾 😊🚢

No matter how many times I read things like this I always act surprised at every turn lmao

Love this anon, thx for sharing

#this is all opinion #merely speculating #i will die in my delulu #feeding my delulu daily

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gatheredfates · 4 months

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Hello my lovelies! 🦈 You might be asking yourself 'Sea, this is weird, You don't update during the week!' and you would be correct. I was supposed to push this update out by the end of my long weekend as an addition to this; however, due to a bunch of irl stuff I won't go into here, it was delayed. I have endeavoured to rectify it now rather than waiting out the week so peoples' resources are properly showcased. This will not be a common occurrence!

However, as of today (06/04), the following resources have been added to Sea's Community Compendium for XIV Creatives.

FREE COMPANY / COMMUNITY FOCUSED / EVENT SPACES

The Final Fantasy XIV Tumblr Community — A public Tumblr community where you can share FFXIV content and meet other players.

*NOTE. Tumblr communities are currently in beta and cannot be joined/applied to directly at this time. You will need to request an invite from @spotofmummery in order to join. When communities are out of beta, the disclaimer on the Compendium will be removed to properly reflect its public status.

LORE

The Rabanastran Record — A resource on Dalmascan lore, history and additional notes incorporating missing information via FFXII content. Is regularly maintained and updated when new information is given in game/lorebooks or on request. Created and maintained by @stalwart-spirit on tumblr.

Pandæmonium Raid Series Transcript — This is a full transcript of the quest dialogue, battle lines and NPC dialogue from all of P1-12! Created by @divinitymanifest.

MISC

FF14 Battle Portrait Tutorial — Have you ever wanted to create a battle portrait for your WoL similar to the ones you see in Endwalker story events and dungeons? @twitter-sakuranokaze has put together a guide on just how to do it!

CHANGELOG

A 'lore' checkbox has been added to the google form to better reflect the update to the Compendium's sorting. It was the one part of that change I forgot to do, so it's now up-to-date!

Free Company / Community Focused / Event Servers has not been updated to Free Company / Community Focused / Event SPACES to better reflect Tumblr communities and potentially encompass other smaller communities not easily covered by Large-Scale or Misc.

Bookmark links to certain resources have been added/amended. Again, not sure why they broke... but they're working now!

Want to submit? You can either fill out the google form here, send me an ask with the relevant information contained on the Compendium, or join my Discord at SEAFLOOR (21+ only)!

Is my space suitable for the Compendium? Most of the time, yes! Below the read more is some more information/stipulations. Again, all the below information is accessible on the document! 🐡

Below are the following things I do not accept on the Compendium:

Personal/Single-Character LFC ads.

Content intended for or can be used for bullying, harassment and OOC gossip. E.g. ‘Secrets’ blogs, receipts, callout posts, etc. This does not include in-character tabloid blogs used to generate RP.

Communities that do not have an RP/writing element (large-scale exempt).

Anything I find personally distasteful or goes against the spirit of this project.

Common-sense rule applies.

FAQ.

I want to put my community on the compendium but we have an application process. Is this okay?

Yes! Just note somewhere in your application that's a requirement. The only thing that is mandatory for the Compendium is that you must be open to new members or have a public-facing/accessible facet. There's no point advertising a community if no one can join it in some way!

I want to put my community on the compendium but I only have x number of members —

Also totally okay! People don't start with large communities. Activity is a must but, whether your server has two or two thousand members, if you're looking for new people to join, I'd love to help you find people.

I want to put my community on the compendium but I worry its too niche?

Okay, and? If your Eorzean Fishing Alliance has four members but you roleplay every second weekend, I still want to know about it.

What resources/communities can I add if I'm not the owner of them?

Mutual consent is extremely important to me, so anything that isn't a large-scale community OR a publicly accessible resource must be endorsed by the owner/admin/moderators in order to be added to the compendium. I operate under the assumption that a resource posted to a public space (tumblr, googledocs, youtube, etc) is open to all. A large-scale community is one with a significant member count or openly advertises itself as being accessible to everyone for whatever purpose it serves. If in doubt, please get in touch with me. I'm happy to contact your community owners for you!

How active does a community need to be?

If you find a community has not been active in about two/three months, send me a message and I'll take a look at it. Communities have ebbs and flows, especially event spaces that may take hiatuses depending on member interest/life events. I'm not strict in my implementation provided a space isn't dead. If a link or anything is broken, absolutely contact me about that.

I have [insert a question not stated here]?

No drama! Send me an ask or use the #Compendium channel in my Discord!

#final fantasy xiv #ffxiv #ffxiv community #｡･ﾟﾟ･ — sea's community compendium #｡･ﾟﾟ･ — sea speaks

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dr-spectre · 2 months

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man i saw your last two posts and i wanted to tell you, you're not cringe, and you're not unlovable

i've had like, one full conversation with you going back and forth on both shared and unshared interests and it had a profound effect on me at the time

I need to unlearn shame, i need to be more open with what i fixate on and what i'm doing (and also the realization i'm definitely on some kind of spectrum), from one chat with someone *loud and proud* like you, how fucking crazy is that?

I hardly know you personally, but it's not hard to gauge how awesome you are, in face of your perceived faults, several of which i share myself, you yap so much but you're so genuine and passionate i and pretty much everyone who sticks here loves to read it, it never gets old, it never gets annoying

you put your whole pussy into innocuous little things about the subject matter, and it's a wonderful thing

you can find friends, you can find love, and you deserve both of those things

this is a little long but it's sentiments i've had for awhile now but no good opportunity to share......

I.... I..... WHA.

WHAT DO I EVEN SAY TO THIS?!?!?! YOU CAN'T DROP THIS IN MY INBOX LIKE THAT!!!

LISTEN... ITS JUST.... I aint awesome!!! Im some 20 year old autistic dude who's too obsessed with a squid woman! How's that awesome!!?!?!? I haven't made an impact on anything... not on the community... not on inkipedia... not on anyone... I have 300 followers... that's nothing...

...or have i?!?! There's no way I could have had an impact on someone... hell even SEVERAL PEOPLE! I just overanalyse stuff that seems so cut and dry but... people are actually positive about my stuff? People say to me that I changed the way they see this important character to me.... BUT THERE'S NO WAY RIGHT?!?!? I still feel like a drop in the ocean. Just a spec of dust!!! I haven't made real change yet... OR HAVE I?! I DON'T KNOW!!! WAAAHHHH!!!

Maybe.... maybe if I have changed one person's perspective, then maybe it was worth it in the first place...

You know. I wanna say that the reason I came to tumblr was because my irl friends aren't into Splatoon and my family gives me a meh shoulder shrug to my interest. It was so difficult for me to explain Splatoon to my parents when Splatoon 3 came out and I picked up the game at launch! So I went here because I felt like it was the best place to express myself. And yeah I'm glad I stuck with it honestly.

I get why my irl friends aren't into Splatoon, they need to buy a multi hundred dollar console that's about to get replaced soon just to play 2 games. And trying to explain to them Nintendo Wii U and Switch emulation is just... I dont even wanna attempt that HAHAHAHA!!!! So I often felt lonely and it felt like I was screaming into a void when talking about Splatoon to them in a discord server. I guess that's where my sense of loneliness comes from.....

I genuinely have NO ONE in real life to talk to about my interests and have someone ACTUALLY listen. I guess that's why I feel cringe and not cool at all. My interests are so nerdy and I'm on the spectrum, my social skills are like D tier. I genuinely cannot talk about myself, i really cant. Its why i have never been in a romantic relationship before.... As a 20 year old dude, that shit fucking stings I'm not even gonna lie. I think about that shit every day. LITERALLY EVERY DAY I'M NOT LYING!!!!

But anyways, I'm getting way too personal on the internet. I don't wanna be some sad sap.

Thank you. Seriously, thank you. I'm not sure if I truly feel like I deserve love but. Thank you anyways. I guess it is a good quality to have that I can ramble and yap and become really focused on something, even if it's not adult things like... getting a job, paying taxes or whatever HAHAHAHA!

#splatoon #ask me stuff #ask me anything #personal #vent post #sorry for venting #thank you #youre amazing #youre a real one #callie cuttlefish #callie splatoon #splatoon 3 #gif #i fucking love splatoon

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pedrostylez · 8 months

Text

How The Crow Flies - pt. 7

Javier Peña x fem!reader x Frankie Morales crossover

Word count: 3.8k

Chapter Summary: You stay an extra day in the jungle because your feelings about Frankie are too confusing, Javi is concerned and calls you a lot

Chapter Warnings and Disclaimers: 18+ only. I am not responsible for what you read on the internet. You have been warned! Locations and descriptions of places may be inaccurate in comparison to each story (Narcos and Triple Frontier). Timelines are obviously different between the two stories, so we are going to meet in the middle and say we are in the early 2000s. These are not necessarily canon characters in regard to how they act, how they treat people, and their current relationships. DUBCON mentions and references, SMUT!!!! p in v sex (not wrapped up, but obvs be safe irl), some violence and threatening with knives but maybe it's hot, BLOOD OKAY NOT A LOT AND ONLY A LITTLE FREAKY ABOUT IT, SUE ME. dirty talk, anxiety, feelings that are confusing and not expressed well (reader compartmentalizes she must be a Capricorn)

A/N: Hey ya'll! I don't know NOTHING about Miami; never been, and I don't plan on going, so don't judge me for how I scrolled in reallllllll close on google maps, okay? I did an edit in my document, but within tumblr I didn't so if you see mistakes no you don't. In all seriousness, if I have missed any tags for trigger warnings, please let me know and I will fix it. Thank you for reading!!!

Taglist: @thevoiceinyourheadx @suzdin @survivingandenduring @bariskaplans @inept-the-magnificent @casa-boiardi @paleidiot @darkheartgatita @missladym1981

The trilling ring pierces his ears, irritation growing with each passing second. The click of your voicemail, followed by silence as Javier hopes and waits that you’ve picked up. Javier growls into the speaker when it’s clear that you haven’t, anger clear on his face. “Fucking call me back, or at least answer your damn phone.” He slams his receiver down, sighing heavily.

You hadn’t called him back or picked up the phone in over a week. He knew it was his fault; how he treated you, how he wouldn’t listen to you. How he was unable to tell you exactly what he was wanting and feeling made him angry all over again.

And to top it off, Jason was up his ass. “Hey, boss.” Jason called, too cheery to be in his office. “Any word from the jungle?”

“No.” Javier grunted, leaning back in his chair. He had given up on trying to keep what you were doing under wraps from Jason and David. “But she’ll be back tomorrow.”

Jason sits hesitantly in the chair across from him, sliding him a coffee cup. “Based on her most recent information, I think we have enough to go in there.” He says, taking a sip from his own mug. “She’s confirmed there’s drugs out there, and that there is money in and out. We don’t have to know where the money is to–”

“Let’s see what she comes back with this time.” Peña says, popping the top of the disposable coffee cup off to let it cool down. “It’ll be soon though, I don’t want…I don’t want this leaving the four of us.”

“I know.” Jason sighs, looking behind him. Bill Stechner walks by, just as Jason looks back to Peña with raised eyebrows. “I assume because we don’t want him to know?”

Peña rolls his eyes, shooing Jason away. Jason of course was correct, Stechner was in fact the reason you were secretly in the jungle and not surveying the Cali Cartel. But Javier wanted to stand by his promise to keep you safe, and so he would.

Your cellphone beeps on the table, Peña’s name scrolling across the screen and flashing for what feels like the millionth time. You roll your eyes, legs shaking under the kitchen table of Yovanna’s crash house.

It’s your last night in this place, and while you won’t miss it, it makes you sad to see all of your stuff fit into one bag. You know you’ll have to do the same to the apartment that Peña had set up for you, but the jungle feels like a completely different world from what you go back to every other weekend.

You feel a pang in your chest at the thought that Frankie may not show up, and that you’ve wasted your time just to spend one more night with him. Peña will be more furious than he already is and you’ve risked blowing your cover.

It’s easy to convince yourself that you are stringing Frankie along to gather more information’ it’s the easiest excuse for when Peña ultimately berates you. Something in the back of your mind nags you that it isn’t just for more information; that you are having feelings.

You’re shaken out of your thoughts when your phone begins beeping again and a knock comes to the door. You shoot up out of your seat, silencing your phone and sliding it into your pocket before taking a deep breath and waiting.

A knock comes again, and you race to the door, opening it to find Frankie leaning against the porch post opposite the door. He smirks, looking down at your body and back up again. “Changed your mind?” He drawls, arms crossed over his chest.

You shrug, turning to let him through the door. “Figured another day wouldn’t hurt.” He chuckles, boots heavy as he steps forward.

When Frankie steps past, you smell something different–the cigarettes, the jungle seem to be no longer lingering on his skin. The smell of musk fills your senses, and your insides melt at the thought that he put on cologne for you.

Frankie eyes your packed bags, looking back at you with his ears red. “Ready to bail though, I see.”

You nod, giving a half smile. “Yovanna said that the lease is up and that she’s not renewing so…sort of my last night close to the jungle.”

Frankie hums, looking around briefly before turning back to you. “You want to make it count?”

You can’t help the smile that creeps up your face, shutting the door behind you and leaning against it. “What did you have in mind?”

The look on Frankie’s face changes, determined as he steps toward you. His hands rest on your hips, gently pulling you away from the door and into his body. He’s warm, heat radiating from his skin and through his clothes to you.

You sigh, hands naturally traveling up to his shoulders to support yourself. Their taunt, pulled tight in his shirt and you think that maybe he’s…nervous.

Frankie turns with you in his arms, smirking when you gasp in surprise. “Thought I might bend you over the couch. Maybe…eat you out on the counter for breakfast.” His voice is low and trying to be intimidating, but you swear you hear it wobble with unease.

“You want me all to yourself all night long, huh? What if I had other customers?” You tease, pushing him away enough to reach for the hem of your shirt, pulling it over your head.

His eyes widen, pupils blown and mouth agape. “No need to lie; you’re not a whore.”

“Who says?” You question, reaching behind you to undo the clasp of your bra. He steps forward, stopping you in your tracks and runs his fingers up your spine. His fingers tangle with yours, popping the clasp open.

“Me.” He sighs, letting the bra fall to the floor between you. He ghosts his hands to your front, pinching gently and watching you. “Tell me.”

“I’m not a whore.” Falls out of your mouth, unable to stop yourself from admitting the truth. His fingers glide down your abdomen, slowly undoing the button of your pants.

He chuckles, shaking his head and smiling at you. Frankie’s eyes bore into you, keeping you frozen as his hand covers the front of your panties. He groans when the heat radiates from you to his palm, his fingers twitching. “No, but you’re my whore, aren’t you?”

You find yourself nodding, mouth open to breath deeper. “Yeah.”

“Say it.” He bites out, holding you secure and still in his grasp.

Before you can speak he has you turning around, pushing you against the closest wall and grinding his center against yours. Still buttoned up pants restrain him, his cock hard and pushing against the fabric.

It’s embarrassing, the way your underwear sticks uncomfortably to your center as he grinds. He’s quick as he pushes down his pants enough to let himself spring free, grasping himself to stroke just a couple times before leaning forward to let his mouth wander.

Down your spine Frankie trails wet lips, hot air puffing out onto your raised skin. He’s quick as he strips your underwear from you, biting briefly into the meat of your ass to hear you gasp before sinking himself into you. You close your eyes, pleasure coursing through your veins at the feeling of him fully seated inside you. It’s a whisper, barely audible as you say. “I’m your whore.”

Frankie doesn’t stop, thrusting harder and laughing. His hand planted on your hip comes up to your face, gently pushing it away from your cheek to get a better look at you. “That’s right baby. My whore.”

Agent Peña calling

The flash on the tiny screen of your cell phone is bright in the dark room that Frankie lays in, waking him enough to glance over to your spot in the bed to see you’re not there.

Agent Peña calling

This time he picks up the vibrating device, furrowing his brow at the name and racking his brain to see if Santiago had said it before. He does not know this man, but you do.

Agent Peña calling

The shower is running, and Frankie doesn’t know what time it is but he’s itching to pick up the damn phone. Why would an agent be calling you? How many clients–

Frankie’s blood runs hot as the phone finally stops and he’s able to open it up into the most recent calls.

Agent Peña incoming

Agent Peña outgoing

Agent Peña incoming

The one outgoing call from just a couple weeks ago stands out to him. The date makes him think of when he brought you to the motel for the first time. Frankie reads it once, twice, three times before he sets the phone back down in the same position he found it in, sitting up to reach for his jeans on the ground.

He shakes as he pulls his switchblade out; cold in his hand, the click of the blade flipping out and stepping out of your bed. He moves silently into the dark corner behind the bathroom door, adrenaline pumping through him. The shower shuts off, your soft hum as you move around the bathroom filters through the door before it opens, you tiptoeing your way out; you probably think he is asleep.

Frankie thinks that maybe this is a mistake, but his gut is telling him otherwise. Either he scares you and never sees you again, or he finds out the truth; right now.

When you step out fully he surprises you, circling one arm around your middle and the other holding the knife to your neck. He hears your inhale, feels you stiffen in his grasp, but you don’t scream.

“What the fuck do you do for a job?” He growls in your ear, pulling you tight to him to prove that you can’t escape. You won’t.

“I fuck men for a living, Frankie. You know that.” You’re too calm, too monotone for his liking.

“Fuck that.” He spits, spinning you around and bringing the knife into your vision. “We both know that you’re not a whore, and I’ve let you play your little games to get my dick sucked. So tell me, who is Agent Peña?”

He watches your eyes jump back and forth from his knife to his face, trying to remain neutral but looking for options; you’re too calm.

“Tell me right now, or I’ll let you bleed out and have him find you here.” Frankie says darkly, pressing the blade into your naked collarbone. You wince, a drop of blood dripping down.

“He doesn’t know where here is.” You’re caving, towel loose under your arms and ready to fall. Frankie watches you reach up to hold it secure, your fingers nervously adjusting. “I’m DEA.” You whisper, swallowing as the blood drips down your chest, between your breasts and into the towel. Frankie watches it drip, slow and methodical but you don’t seem to notice.

Frankie waits, but when you don’t come forward with more information, he prompts you. “Who’s Agent Peña?”

“My boss.” He presses the knife further into your skin, stepping toward the bed so you are forced to sit in front of him. Perched on the bed, clutching the towel to your front, looking up at him defiantly with blood smeared on your chest. You wince at the bite of the blade, sighing heavily. “Fuck–we’re after Lorea, okay?”

“Prove to me that you’re telling me the truth.” He pushes, moving the knife lower. You glance down to where the tip of the blade rests just below your collarbone, swallowing roughly. You close your eyes, taking a deep breath into what he assumes is calming yourself.

He can’t help but feel angry. Frankie rages inside at himself for not knowing better, not connecting the dots. Not telling Santiago so he could look into you further than what Yovanna had convinced him of.

In a way he feels played, that itch to have you growing inside of him into one of disgust. Frankie knows that this can’t last now; it was different if you were doing a job and got caught up in his circle, but to focus your attention on what he wanted? To go after what he was after too? He lied to you too, but your lie feels more and more like a betrayal.

“I don’t have my badge here.” Your voice snaps him out of his thoughts, looking down to see that he’s drawn more blood, prompting your response. He pulls away slightly, looking up to your face. You tell him your name, voice shaking and he realizes, terrified. “I worked in Miami for a few years, b-before I was reassigned to Colombia. I s-stopped most of the boats coming into the harbor.”

Frankie mulls over the information, brushing the knife away from your collarbone and down your arm. A chill runs over you, obvious to him in the dark. “Where did you live, in Miami?”

“Little Havana.” You gasp, looking up at him and trying to harden your features. Your hand tightens around the edge of the towel again, but Frankie doesn’t want that.

He leans forward, tisking at you and pulling your hand away. The towel follows, leaving you bare in front of him. He can’t help the groan that bubbles out of his throat. “That’s far away from the DEA office in Weston.”

You lean your hands back, letting yourself be exposed to him and staring him down. “Closer to the docks to stop the boats. I didn’t mind the drive.”

He stops his movements, keeping his pocket knife out but looking back up to your eyes. Will’s voice rings in his ears from years ago, a discussion about a DEA agent that patrolled the docks.

“This girl came down from up north, stopping those dogs in their tracks. They are maybe a few feet away from making their deliveries, I’m telling you!” Beer flows over the side of his cup at Will’s excitement, tapping Frankie on the shoulder. “She calls to them like a fucking siren, that’s what they’re calling her, gets them to admit who they are in 10 minutes flat, and then fucking arrests them. On the spot.”

“That’s badass.” Benny widens his eyes, looking to Frankie to see if he agrees.

Frankie sips on his drink, shaking his head. “Long trips overseas with just your buddies would have me caving to a pretty girl too.”

“You’re the Siren, aren’t you?” He questions, tilting his head to watch your reaction. The widening of your eyes, the shuttered sigh as you nod, has his heart soften. He flips the knife back into its holster, holding it in his closed fist. “I live in Westwood Lakes.” When you don’t respond, just staring at him and waiting, he pulls away. He hears your sigh, shaking his head. “You could have said–”

“No, I couldn’t have.” You say quietly, blinking roughly as if holding back tears before moving from the bed. When you stand, pushing past him and towel forgotten, you shakily walk over to your disheveled bag in the corner. He waits, knife still in his hand and watching. “You’re fucking ex-military, you know I couldn’t have blown my cover like that.”

The bite in your tone is new to Frankie, his frown appearing suddenly as he whips his head over to look at you. You’re bent over, ass on display to him and he can’t help how his cock stirs at the sight. “You could have said what you were so we could have helped each other out.” He sighs, tossing the knife on to the pile of his clothes.

“We did help each other.” You scoff, shaking your head and angrily putting on your shirt. “And you got your dick sucked and I got the information I needed to go tell my boss. Win-win.”

He laughs, surprised by your dismissal. “Why are you angry?”

He can see your face harden and then collapse, tears overflowing and down your cheeks. He notices briefly how your shirt is staining with small amounts of blood. “Because you! You weren’t supposed to fucking know who I was! You went through my phone.”

He shrugs. “It was ringing.”

The initial anger he had felt had dissipated as soon as he learned who you were; it changed everything for him. But somehow, that anger transferred to you at the inability to keep everything under the radar. This see-saw effect between the two of you was addicting for Frankie; one losing control, one calm. Then switch, all within the same conversation. Frankie can’t help but think that this is exactly what you need, to let your anger out on someone, even if it's him.

His thoughts are confirmed when you spit out, “So what? That fucker has been up my ass for week since I kicked him out–”

“You’re together?”

“No.” You’re firm, pulling pants up your legs and buttoning them more calmly. It’s like you caught yourself losing control.

“He’s fucking you too?” He questions. Your calmness sets a fire under him, a small voice in the depths of his mind poking him to get angry again. Instead, he focuses on what he thinks is the right question. “Your boss is taking advantage of you?”

“No. I’m taking advantage of him.” You scoff, crossing your arms over your chest before wincing, looking down at the blood stains left from his knife.

Frankie shakes his head, standing up and approaching you. “No, he’s taking advantage of you.”

You stare at him, dumbfounded and shaking your head. Frankie reaches for you–out of habit, and you bat his hand away before pointing at him accusatory. “What, like you aren’t? You’re a fucking hypocrite!”

He points right back at you, careful to not touch you but wanting to get his point across. “I told you exactly what I was doing. Has he?”

Quietly, you say, “He’s protecting me.”

“How? By blowing up your phone so some guy can hold a knife to your neck?” Frankie feels disgusted, learning that Peña is your boss, and is putting you in harm's way. He should know better. “Did any of your bosses back in Miami do something like that before? Put you in a difficult position where you had to give up who you were, just to stay alive?”

You pause, steaming, head barely shaking back and forth as you stare at him. You crack your neck, closing your eyes for a few breaths before opening them for him to see tears streaming down your face again. His heart hurts at the sight. “You’re not…some guy.”

You’re leaning toward him, hand falling toward his chest and resting lightly on his bare skin. Frankie doesn’t know what to say, eyes searching your face for any type of answer. When he doesn’t find one, he shakes his head and covers your hand with his over his heart. “You’re…distracting for me. And you keep secrets.”

He lets his other hand come up to rest on your cheek. You lean in, and Frankie can’t help but let his heart crumble a little more.“I had to. I’m sorry if I ruined what you were trying to accomplish.” You whisper, trailing your hand down his chest, his hand following yours.

“You didn’t ruin it.” He admits, moving his eyes to your wandering hand. He holds his breath, his cock twitching in his boxers and pressing against the fabric. You’re warm, stepping closer to him and snapping at the waistband of his underwear. Frankie briefly thinks about how this might look to Santiago and the rest of the guys if they find out that he’s been sleeping with you. He’ll be sent home instantly, even with the plan going through in just a day. “You can’t get in my way.”

“I won’t. We want different things.” You nod, letting your hand wrap around his now hardened member and give him a couple strokes. He closes his eyes trying to keep his breath steady.

Frankie doesn’t know what this means, doesn’t know how to proceed beyond what he’s longing to do right now. He clasps his hand around your wrist, stopping you in your tracks. You look up to him, waiting to see if you can continue when he leans in and presses his lips to yours.

He’s hesitant, waiting for you to tell him to stop. He pulls back, flicking his eyes between yours briefly before you surge forward, desperate to have your mouth back on his.

Suddenly it’s frantic, his hands ripping at your clothes to take them back off, how you jump onto the bed and pull him to you by the back of his neck. He groans when you pull his hair, you sigh as he sinks into you again.

The sound of his thighs hitting yours over and over again fills the room. You gasp as he trails his mouth down away from yours, sucking harshly into your neck before going further down. Frankie continues to thrust, his tongue sticking out and lapping at where his knife had cut you.

“Fuck–Frankie–”

“I know baby. Just one more time for me, huh? I want to see you one more time.” He gasps, leaning back to watch you take him over and over again.

Your walls tighten around him, nails digging into his arms as he pushes through. Your head thrown back, neck and new hickey exposed, skin shining in the light still coming from the bathroom.

On the bedside table, your phone lights up again, vibrating loudly enough that both of your heads turn to watch it ring. Frankie pauses for only a moment, returning to thrusting and grabbing your face to turn back to him. “Mine. Do you get it? Mine.”

Your nod and the gasp of a “yes” is all Frankie needs to finish.

Javier’s blood boils, dialing your number again from his Jeep. He's sitting outside the apartment he paid for, anger roiling through him without another care in the world. Where are you?

He gets out of the car, stepping up on to the stoop and pounding on the door to listen. Maybe you were avoiding him, leaving the lights off and pretending you weren’t there to scare him. He dials another time, the windows dark in front of him, listening for the ringing of your phone. When nothing can be heard, he swears.

The beep of your voicemail dings in his ear, a sound he has gotten used to tonight. He sighs, looking around as if you might appear out of thin air. “Hermosa, please. Where are you?” He asks, shutting his phone and getting back into his driver’s seat.

He sets his phone on the dash, tapping on the steering wheel anxiously. After thinking for only a moment, he reclines the seat back, planning to camp in front of your apartment until the morning.

#pedro pascal #pedro pascal characters #pedro pascal smut #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro pascal fanfic #frankie morales #frankie morales smut #triple frontier fic #triple frontier smut #javier pena fanfiction #javier pena fanfic #javier pena fic #javier peña #javier pena narcos #tw: dubcon #tw blood

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asexual-society · 4 months

Note

Just looking for some advice about how to tell my best friend I’m aroace. I was trying to find a way to ask other people in the community and found this blog so I hope it’s okay to ask. I do apologise if it’s not.

About three years ago, I tried telling her. I hinted at it, but in the end, I was too scared to actually tell her. I have two other really close friends that know, but one of them figured out I was ace before I did haha. They’re both very understanding of me due to their respective identities.

Recently, it’s been eating at me more and more. I write fanfiction and have been really wanting to explore aroace characters. We are actually co-writing a fic now and she’s one of my beta readers too. One of the characters I write the most about gives me major aroace vibes and I want to write about it and discuss with readers about it. The problem is that she reads my stuff. She’s supportive like that.

I’m just scared about her reaction is all. I don’t particularly care about what my family thinks because I have no intention of telling them. Not out of fear or anything, but for other reasons that don’t really matter at this point in my life. It’s my best mate I’m worried about :/ I don’t want her perception of me to be changed nor do I want her to start saying things like “you haven’t met the right person” or whatever.

This was long. I’m sorry 😭 I kept it anonymous because even though she doesn’t have tumblr, she knows my account and I’d rather not risk her seeing this :)

Hey Anon, I'm not gonna lie, I hate coming out. I've been putting off coming out to some people closest to me for so many years. But on the other hand! I totally understand having a hard time ripping the plaster off, and the feeling of it eating at you, so I can give you a couple of low-confrontation methods that might work in a pinch, and a couple of slightly scarier options and how to deal with them in case you're feeling brave?

You said she knows your blog but doesn't have tumblr, so you could try posting more about aroace stuff on here, or put it in your bio. That way, since she doesn't follow you, the chances of her seeing it are low enough that you have plausible deniability that you didn't think she would see it, and if she does, you were Definitely just about to tell her. Effectiveness: 3/10, she might not see it, in which case you'll be worrying about it for nothing.

A similar vibe of coming out is letting someone else do it for you. This only works if you have mutual friends, either online or irl. You don't have to be there when it happens, but I find it's less unpleasant if you are; finding out someone has outed you after the fact is for sure worse, even if you intended it to happen, but someone else offhandedly bringing it up takes the power out of your hands, which is scary in a different way, but it can technically work. Effectiveness: 5/10, it'll do, but it will not feel good. Requires mutual friends. If one of your friends is a loudmouth with no filter it might even happen organically at some point, but you can't count on it, so if you are there (even just in groupchat form) being able to steer the conversation in that direction might give you the small push you need to say it yourself, since it's way harder to just bring it up out of the blue by yourself, and also having another already supportive person present who has your back always helps. Effectiveness: 8/10, getting onto the topic might be hard, but having moral support is good. Requires mutual friends.

Similarly, you could engineer a situation where you're coming out to her and one other person who you know will be supportive (or you're already out to, if you're okay with a little deception) at the same time. She can't say anything shitty if there's someone else already there being cool about it. You don't even have to be coming out to the other person, you can just mention it while they're there (so it works the same as the above, except a little more intentional). Effectiveness: 8/10, points deducted for deception, but if it gets the job done, does it matter? Requires mutual friends.

Bargaining. Set yourself a deadline and have people to hold you accountable to do it. Effectiveness: 3/10, absolutely would not work on me, will probably not feel good, could be the kick you need to do it but only if your brain works that way.

Come out to someone else first and use the momentum to tell her right after. Works best if the first person you tell isn't close enough to you that it'll be really bad if they suck about it, but if they do suck, you can use that as a jumping off point to tell your friend (e.g. I told someone I was aroace and they said XYZ shitty thing), and you can sneak in an example of something that was hurtful that your friend will know to avoid saying. And if they don't suck about it (fingers crossed!), it could give you the confidence and boost you need to tell your friend. Effectiveness 6/10, requires you to come out twice as many times. You may be able to substitute in someone else being aphobic but not directly to you as a jumping off point instead.

You could try testing the waters by mentioning that you headcanon the character as aroace and seeing her reaction, if you haven't already, and then you can say "I sort of relate to them actually" and see where that gets you? Effectiveness: 5/10, high chance of backing out at the last minute, high uncertainty means this might be the scariest option.

If you have ways of making yourself do scary things already, do as many of those as you can, but if not, I can tell you that when I want to do something I'm low key terrified of but I know will help me in the long run, I write myself a letter to open as far in the future as I feel like (there are websites you can use for this), and I tell me-of-the-future about what I want to do and that I'm scared about it, and then I imagine them reading it and imagine how it'll be by then if I haven't done it yet, and how much better it'll be for them if I do.

Sometimes it's really hard to do things for ourselves, but imagining you're doing them for you-of-the-future gives yourself enough distance that you can convince yourself that you're actually doing it for someone else. It might also help to imagine that you of the future will be proud of you for doing it, and this is a pretty instantaneous reward situation, because you get the little kick of someone being proud of you before you do it just for deciding to do it, and then as soon as you've done it you get to be proud of yourself. Effectiveness: 8/10, high risk-high reward, will feel really good if you do it, but you have to do it.

If you're still worried about her saying specific unsupportive things, coming up with a few good responses to the most likely ones that you can use in the moment without even thinking can take some of the power away from her (or anyone else) saying them. If your friend is only attracted to one gender you can use the "how do you know you just haven't met the right [person of gender she isn't into]?" or "it hurts me that you think I don't know myself well enough/that you don't trust me to know this about myself". If someone you come out to isn't supportive you are legally allowed to be petty or guilt trip them, if they know you're not just gonna back down when they try to disagree with you, it shows you're serious, even/especially if you wouldn't normally go on the offensive like that. Effectiveness: ?/10, depends on your personality and how assertive you are, and can be difficult if you're worried about confrontation with your best friend, but it could just be what needs to be done, and is likely but not certain to get your point across.

I'm not saying all of these are good methods, but they are definitely methods that you could use. And hey, if you do it, let us know how you did it and how it went!

Best of luck, I hope you figure it out <3

~mod key

#asks #anon #questionable advice #coming out #asexual #aroace #mod key

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dandelionflowery · 6 months

Text

Intro post!

(breast cancer awareness post here/the legends of tumblr here, variations here and here , alt link for number 7/arch nemesis Cynthia here) [the two topics are wholly unrelated]

HII!!

My name on the internet is Dandelion, but you can call me whatever you like honestly. It's so hard to find a good name around here, the fae keep stealing them

I use any pronouns, online people default to they/them, IRL people default to she/her, you can use whatever you feel like!

I'm aroace 🧡💛🤍🩵💙 and my gender is up to interpretation lol

I'm 16 and I live in France but I have both French and American citizenship (so i do speak both french and english)

I have both scoliosis (diagnosed, 45°) and probably dyslexia (not officially diagnosed but all the internet tests I did were screaming at me to go get an official diagnosis- as has life lol) and those two really hate each other who deCIDED SCOLISOIS SHOULD BE SPELLED THE WAY IT IS (if i spell it correctly be aware that either I copied it from somewhere, or i thought about it for WAY too long, or it was a monkeys on keyboards thing)

I created a blog just for reblogging shit (aptly named @dandelionflowery-reblogs) but even with that I can't promise to tag stuff correctly on either blog...

I'm not often super active on here, at least not regularly, mostly because I have way too many classes but sometimes I go absolutely insane and spend like an entire day on here (oops)

actually i'm most active on here I think now lol

~~☆~~

I like:

- Harry Potter (Drarry, Deamus, Romione, Linny are my main ships but there's a decent chance you could get me to like a specific portrayal of just about any pairing lol) [also fuck jkr]

- The Marauders (WOLFSTARRR! Also Jily and aroace Peter and maybe Remadora. Same thing as before: open to other pairings [I know of and appreciate the ships with the girls but usually I'll lean towards the first ones mentioned actually I'll lean towards wolfstar with background Jily and aa battery Peter)

- Reading and books in general

- Fanfics, fanart!! (Both writing/drawing them and reading/simping for them)

Speaking of which, I have a side blog that's actually technically marauders themed! @mybrain-fanficedition

- Interactions on here!!

- there's probably some other stuff I like but I can't think of anything rn

~~☆~~

I don't like:

- Following from above, I said I was open to pretty much any pairing, ... I lied lol

Idk what jegulus did to me but i just don't like it for some reason (jegulily? lovely. jily? fantastic. jegulus? less.)

- Also the usual list of if you're pro-genocide, homophobic transphobic uh racist, pedophile or just a generally mean person

~~☆~~

I like talking to people even if you don't know what to say just say hi!

Also I have other social media, come find me if you want!

@/flowerydandelion, @/dandelionfloweryart and @/wands.swords.and.books on Instagram!

On Ao3 I'm like 90% sure it's DandelionFlowery and uh probably similar usernames on Discord and Reddit [though I'm not often active on there]

Wait if I link my ao3 that means i need to actually post my fics lol

Leave comments if you read my fics, I love feedback!! (or just leave kudos, it makes me irrationally happy lol)

~~*~~

tags about my current wips featuring really bad summaries:

#third time's the charm- Lily

(not going to be the actual title i think but first i have to write it, we'll worry about titles later)

Lily decides canon sucks and she's going to do something about it

#our broken hearts- an ode to wolfstar (this one is subject to change bc that title is way too sappy for me)

Sirius dated Peter. And Marlene. And Lily. And James. And then Remus?

~~*~~

totally normal link trust me :)

if you still trust me (and why shouldn't you?), here's the ULTIMATE PRIDE FLAG lol)

let's see how trustworthy you think i am

wanna see some stuff i wrote? (warning, a friend said it took them half an hour to read just the main bit lmao)

an apology 1 | 2

useful tumblr post about hobbies

SNAIL CROSSING SNAIL CROSSING SNAIL CROSSING

~~*~~

side blogs: @x-lovegood @xenophilius-quibbler (Xenophilius Lovegood rp) @sybilances (Sybill Trelawney rp)

@antheia-anthousai (nymph oc)

@mybrain-fanficedition (as mentioned above)

@am-i-a-crab (crab army!!)

+ another gimmick blog but i'm not saying which one >:)

#intro post

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pocket-lin · 7 months

Note

Hey!! 💕 for the fandom ask game, 5, 9 and 20? 🤩

hi!!! thank you for sending me this ask!! once again apologizing if the format for this is all janky, assume I have no clue what I'm doing 80-90% of the time!! also I found out so many of these writer's have tumblrs that I wasn't following so that was exciting!!

please note: this is all about the harry potter fandom so if you don't follow me for that, please look at my pinned post!! tldr is fuck jk and fuck terfs, I won't let her steal our joy!!

5. something I see a lot in fics and love

hmmmm... this is hard to narrow down!! so here's a few things I've been enjoying in hp fics I've read lately!

harry potter who is just so fucking earnestly in love. like, he's tripping over his feet so he can hold the door open for draco and looking at him with big heart eyes from across the pub. harry's got draco's order memorized from that takeout place he loves and he's been pining for draco for years in such an embarrassing way and all his friends are rolling their eyes and placing bets on when harry will finally make a fucking move.

adult ron weasley taking after his mother!! he makes delicious food and makes people scarves and shows his love through his actions!!

draco being absolutely rocked when he finds out that harry is queer! especially when harry is confident and completely unashamed of his sexuality. also throat goat harry

magic being tangible in some way!! like, a strong spell giving off the smell of ozone, being able to feel it in someone's hands, everyone's magic having a unique vibe.

harry as the ultimate dad. like, that dude 100% has so many complicated feelings about family and his kid(s) would be everything to him.

9. a ship that isn't your OTP but that you enjoy

I've been dipping into alllll kinds of ships lately. I love to just go look at individual ship tags on a03 and read the stuff with the highest kudos and then some of the most recent fics. I think you gotta do both to understand the ship!! here's some I've been vibing with lately (also realizing how many of these are drarry+someone else hahaha)

harry/draco is my otp BUT harry/ron and harry/ron/hermione are tied for second. that's harry's family!! they were his first friends and the first people to show him love and they literally went through war together. they know each other!! two favorite harry/ron fics of mine are Sun Kissed by @static-abyss and A tangled mess by @orange-peony! two harry/ron/hermione favorites are nineteen years later by wendydarlings and try to fix you by @maesterchill!

snarry - I was sooooo not into this in my early fandom days because so much of the ship stuff I saw was underage teacher/student stuff and that's very much not my thing. the first dip into this ship was actually through @writcraft's harry/draco/severus fic, A Life Worth Remembering, which is almost a complete subversion: Severus gets de-aged to 25 through a potions accident and has to stay with draco and harry, who are middle-aged and in an established relationship. its a gigantic change for everyone involved and the way their all find their way to each other is sooooooo good. from there I read all their snarry stuff. one of their other snarry fics I love is How We Were Warriors. I've actually been back into this ship the past few weeks and have loved On the Deficiencies of Translation Spells and old fires and phantom limbs by @liladiurne, as well as A Turn of the Page and Severus’s Story (or, A Hero’s Tale) by avioleta!

neville/harry and harry/draco/neville - I think about @kittycargo's Love to Give soooooo often. also absolutely love When it Returns by @academicdisasterfic and Touch Your Lips Just So I Know by @saxamophone!!

harry/draco/charlie - everyone go read Licurici by @lou-isfake and tell me you aren't a changed man!!!

ron/draco/harry. I can't even begin to talk about this one because we'd be here for a million years!!

20. your very first fandom!

I started doing irl fandom things for harry potter with my mom and sister when I was a little baby (I learned to read with the harry potter books!!) but my first solo (and almost exclusively online) fandom was the the teen titans!! I was obsessed with the marv wolfman and george perez comics from the 80s and completely lost my shit when they announced the teen titans animated series. that show cancellation still hurts 😭

#hi everyone sorry if tagging you all isn't the right etiquette or whatever!!#I'm new to actually posting things instead of just reblogging them!!#also is this readable at all? is there a better format for all these links and stuff?#fandom asks #ask games #fic recs #hp #drarry

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olderthannetfic · 1 year

Note

I wasn't an anti but I logged back into tumblr after a few years of not using it (2018-19 exodus), and that's when I first heard about the anti vs proship deal. When I was a teen I often read incest/underage/gore/abuse/rpf whatever category of things that are supposed to be brain rotting for you and I never thought twice about it. I never felt guilty, I didn't think it was wrong, and it never crossed my mind to think "this royed fic is depraved and the author a sicko". But when I logged back in, I started reading arguments from both sides.

While going through my blog, to my horror I discovered I had long ago reblogged some rick and morty ship fanart, the grandpa/son messed up relationship version. I thought what if someone finds this blog and connects it to me irl? How would I explain this? Why do I even like this? I thought they would think I was a pedophile. I quickly deleted all of it that I could find.

I also came across a bunch of kylux fanart. I had recently been seeing posts about how that was racist because of course some background white dude with two lines is in a more popular ship then the leads of color, right? Racism. I deleted those, too.

And now I feel so stupid for getting caught up in it. I never outwardly expressed any of this but it was an internal I have to be careful about what I reblog, what art I appreciate, and what I write. I chalk it up to being a year into covid and being isolated, wishing I could be physically in my uni classes, and being incredibly burnt out. I thought what people filled their heads with was really important- because so many people were not wearing masks and covid was overloading hospitals. I was incredibly worried about killing my immunocompromised coworker by giving them covid and resented everyone who wasn't following distancing guidelines (which was a lot of fellow students, my roommate, the public). And I thought if people considered more about what information they shared, and realised their capacity to harm, then this wouldn't be happening.

Plucking the potentially "harmful" things from my life felt like I was helping something. Though I'm not acting like I was operating selflessly. A lot of it was fear of how others would judge me.

After reading what you specifically had to say about kylux I realized how stupid I was being. Because the whole appeal of them is hot kylo ren and the BDSM villains fucking each other in leather. There is no other ship combo in the prequels that delivers that as naturally. It really is super lamentable that m/m juggernaut pairs trend white but it really is 1. lack of nonwhite main characters in popular media in the first place, and 2. lack of nonwhite woobies and characters that fit into that shippable mold. And these things being controlled by the profit margins of hollywood. I thank you for pointing these things out, and snapping me out of being an idiot.

A lot of people my age seem to believe you can change the world by sharing an infographic on instagram. Or here. I don't want to be too harsh on people for clinging so hard to the power of the internet for positive change!! during the most isolated moments of this pandemic, but I really recommend 1. killing the cop in your head and 2. seeing what sort connection you can make with the people in your area. I love logging off and being around people, and I love logging on to read my favs banging with tags that would make a priest infarct.

That feeling of impotence during a time of ongoing stress is exactly what gets people reaching for the fake activism. They've got to do something, and all the actually productive things are out of reach so...

Emotionally, it's just how we're built, I'm afraid.

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sonicphobia0601 · 3 months

Text

Mom. If you are reading this, I'm not happy with you. In fact, it's time for me to publicly address this. I have let you control me for too long.

You constantly have the same conversation every time one thing gets forgotten (and guess what!? I sometimes forget shit and then remember afterwards and fucking fix it). I have been on top of my chores consistently. And it's always you blaming everything on the phone and gaming. You are the same person who gave me AN HOUR LONG LECTURE on pronouns when I came out as being pan last year.

Well, guess what? Gaming is therapy for me and serves as a way for me to bond with people. And I love posting stuff online. Gaming kept me SANE during COVID. And I haven't gamed much during my college days. Because I was too goddamn tired and busy with chores and schoolwork. And CHORES ALWAYS COME FUCKING FIRST.

Not like you fucking care. Because you don't because it doesn't fit your view. You just constantly shit on me and say that I prioritize gaming over chores when it's not true. You constantly threaten to shut down the Internet even when shit does get done. Then you talk about every damn instance where gaming is bad while ignoring the obvious.

I have a growing following and close friends because I game. I found myself in gaming.

When you shut down the Internet, you are cutting me off from shit I love. You cut me off from friends, whether IRL or online. You're alienating me from my friends, which is just as bad as forgetting a chore if not worse. I still have depression.

The fact that anything gets DONE period is a fuckin miracle for me. You say that it takes an hour to get chores done. That's true... If you are not autistic. But it takes me more than an hour to get shit done. Sometimes it takes 30 minutes to water your precious plants. It takes me an hour to sweep, while it takes YOU 15 minutes tops. That's an hour thirty on me already. It takes me 20 minutes to switch and fold laundry. It takes you 5 minutes max. It takes 30 minutes to do dishes including hand washing. There. Two hours of chores. And you said it takes an hour to just plow through. Well, I plow for two hours and I get exhausted. Why? Because I'm not listening to anything. The dogs walk takes 10 songs. So that's thirty minutes per walk. I walk them in the morning and evening. And when the dog talks. So there's at least another hour. So three hours and then some worth of chores.

I have a good work ethic and you have the audacity to call me lazy.

In fact, because you are putting me on a high and unrealistic pedestal, I don't want to live with you anymore. I am telling you to move me in a group home. I'm tired of you constantly threatening my mental health and my social health. I'm tired of being on deck for you. I have had enough. I want you to move me out in a group home before I'm 25.

I'm posting this on Facebook too.

To give you insight on how much of a positive impact my gaming stuff gives to me:

600+ people are subscribed to my YouTube channel.

Nearly 6,000 people saw my recent Barnaby edit on Twitter. The game I love reposted it on their Twitter.

I have made plenty of friends here on my Tumblr account.

Sounds like nothing to you but it means a lot to me. And my depression started depleting when I finally made the step to be myself online. So, you want to be controlling? Guess what? You're just trying to control me to the point where I could break. Your controlling nature is going to kill me.

You made it clear that I am not trans (you made it clear that I can't be a boy even though I hate being a girl but will dress girly because I have body issues that I don't tell anyone because of the tumor you got). I hate being a girl because that might mean I'm weak. So guess what!? I will see myself as a person: not a man and definitely not a woman. If you are saying that I am a girl based on parts I was BORN with, can I just say "disgusting!"? And guess what!? I don't really feel any sexual attraction. I might decide to be gender fluid for the singular purpose of pissing you off.

Trans people (people who don't like their assigned gender at birth and have surgery to get in tune with their souls or their feelings) are NOT confused. And if you want to try to go off on me ON TUMBLR, be my guest. You now know my Tumblr account. I want your conservatorship to be DONE. You claim to be looking out for my best interests but I don't really feel that every time you threaten to cut me off from my friends. I think you are looking for control.

You tell me not to put my dirty laundry online but if it's threatening my livelihood and threatening my social life I am going to say something about it.

And I will change my profile to match my Tumblr out of spite on Facebook.

#vent #I have bottled this up for too long.

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