#if yours doesn't i'm sorry but i don't know how to help!

[bluewxrld07]

Pins and Needles

Lando X Bff!Fewtrell!Reader

Summary: Y/N doesn't know where she and Lando stand anymore. Their once-tight friendship soon started to tear at the seams.

Warning(s): just pure angst, Lando being toxic (sorry y'all), making out, Charles Leclerc incoming, depression, lack of self-worth

A/N : I can't help myself y'all ok 🥲 This one is gonna hurt, I'm sorry but also not sorry. Enjoy 🙂 (Written and inspired by Nessa Barrett's song Pins and Needles)

Hand on the stove, I barely feel it

And when I let go, I'm already healing

This was not how it was supposed to go.

How it was supposed to wind up.

Y/N didn't even know how she got herself into this situation.

Deep down, she knew exactly how she got herself into this situation, she just didn't want to admit to it.

It started when one drunk night at the club in Monaco led to her becoming tangled up in her best friend's sheets, whispering sweet nothings to one another. The sly touches as the sun crept through the blackout curtains the next morning.

That was when their situation bloomed. Things had become messier between Lando and Y/N.

Little did Y/N realize just how deep she had fallen for the man she had known almost her entire life. He was comfortable. Familiar. Trustworthy.

At the start.

Things at the beginning were smooth. Nothing but absolute lust, addiction, and hunger. It rose and rose, some moments almot becoming reckless.

They couldn't keep their hands off one another. From sneaking around the paddock, to the club bathrooms, to the bedroom next door to Max's. It became reckless. Animals in heat. The craving was insatiable.

The pair didn't know if the sneaking around made them this way, or the fact that it was supposed to be a forbidden relationship. Max would've had Lando's head. He'd have six feet under the ground.

She didn't mean to fall more in love with the boy. She thought it would be harmless. Her feelings would subside. Not do the complete opposite and skyrocket. The way he had begun to treat their little situationship as if they were together is what got her the most.

He made her feel like she was the only one.

Till he slowly became more sloppy. Bailing out on plans more often, leaving her high and dry while saying something came up. The distance became clearer. It was the late-night visits that were only making a daily appearance. No talking, just becoming tangled in the bedsheets.

Their friendship had begun to fade out, only turning into meaningless sex. At least that's what she believed.

She never understood why. What had she done for him to pull away slowly? What was she missing?

Y/N couldn't tell anyone, as she didn't have anyone she told about it. Not trusting a single soul to keep it quiet if things got tricky. Especially not when Max had no idea of what was happening behind closed doors.

When he began to ask why her mood had become more glum, as if she had almost faded. She just used the excuse of lack of sleep, or was just having one of those days.

He didn't question it, only gave her a lingering look, then didn't push further. He knew better.

It wasn't long till she found out why. Why Lando pulled away from her, let their friendship fade out, as well as their late night hookups.

They say your name, I don't even hear it

You dug your own grave, and nobody's grieving

The articles all read and show him with a new girl, a blonde model and actress. She was pretty. His type, too. He looked happy, a genuine smile on his lips as he looked at her.

That's when she noticed the way her chest tightened, crashed in on itself.

He had been seeing this girl, Magui, she thinks her name was, without saying a thing to her. She thought they were close enough that he would've been honest. He has never lied to her. In all the years she had known him, it wasn't something he did.

She remembered when she found out, she sat there trying to figure out what to say to him. Her first message sounded angry. Hurt, betrayed, lost, and confused.

Instead, she clicked the power button off, thinking it was best to not say a word. Instead, she let it fade away. Let him fade away.

There had been a day Y/N was at her brother's, sitting on the barstool while he cooked food with Pietra.

"Is she nice?" she asks, hinting at Lando's new girl. Max looked at her with an unsure gaze, shrugging his shoulders.

"From what I can tell, yeah," he answers. "Still a bit skeptical about her, though. About her past, mainly. Everything is still unclear about what happened between her and Luisna. Lando won't really talk about it."

She nods, deciding not to push any further, picking at the food on her plate.

"Have you heard from him lately?" Pietra asks this time. "I haven't seen you two around one another lately. Usually it's hard to pull you both away from the other," she tries to joke. Max looked back at his sister with just as curious of a look.

"You two haven't been talking?" he asks, Y/N just shrugs.

"Not really," she admits. "Always says something's come up. It's fine, I'm not gonna push it. He's happy."

Max looks at her with a little bit of shock on his face. "You two have been close for years. Closer than him and me, why would he just push you away?"

Y/N knew the real answer to it, but she couldn't give that away. As she knew Max would lose his shit if he knew. Lando would be lucky to leave the brawl with a head on his shoulders if Max found out.

So instead, the girl just shrugs. "Don't know. Just assumed maybe he doesn't want to make things look weird with his new girl. Probably doesn't want her to think anything else."

Max scoffs playfully at that, pouring his eggs onto his own plate. "Trust me, if there was more, I would've known. She wouldn't have had anything to worry about. He'd have a lot more to deal with if that were the case."

She just stays silent, Pietra sensing the awkwardness in the room, deciding to change the subject.

Shot my heart with Novacane

Ice-cold, cut off my blood flow

It had turned into hearing from Lando every other week, and maybe seeing him when he came to help with collabs for Quadrant. When the pair would be streaming with the other streamers, he wouldn't so much as acknowledge her in the chat.

It would be short answers if anything.

Her chest burned every time she made eye contact with him, the gazes between the pair always having something between them. Something she couldn't quite explain.

It wasn't until she had been dragged out to a race day with Max and P, that she could feel the need to hide away in a corner for the rest of her life.

She kept her distance whenever Lando would come around, the boy not missing the way she would excuse herself when he came by.

He should've known.

He caused the tension between them. He pulled back when he only wanted to get closer to her.

He found another girl while in denial of how deeply in love he was with his homeboy's sister, and his best friend. Magui was his way out. His escape from his reality. Even if it wasn't the right way.

He had to let Y/N go, even if it meant he couldn't be in her life anymore.

At least that's what he told himself.

You think you're important,, boy, I've got bad news

You're mean and you're boring, they'll all forget you

Y/N had been standing over by the motorhomes, sipping on the coffee in her hand, when she felt someone bump into her back. The sip had turned into a mess, dripping down onto her white tube top she wore on the hot day.

She turned around to meet the eyes of a familiar Monégasque man, who looked at her in horror. "Shit, Y/N I am so sorry," he nervously chuckles, his eyes seeing the new stain on her top. "I should've been more careful. I was so caught up in the conversation I-"

"Charles," she giggles, making him look at her. "It's okay. At least it wasn't a hot coffee, yeah?"

He snorts while rubbing the back of his neck. "Now that I definitely would've never heard the end of."

She chuckles. "You still won't hear the end of this one," she jokes, making him give her a genuine smile before chuckling back at her. He motions to her shirt.

"At least lemme help get you a new top? I can't bear the thought of you having to be stuck with explaining how the stain came about."

"Ahhh I see you want to protect your perfect image, I suppose?" she tuts playfully, making him widen his eyes.

"What? No I meant like it would probably be annoying having to say the story a thousand times, or you could get weird looks from people, or-"

"Oh my goodness, Charles! I'm joking," she laughs while putting her hands on his shoulders. She watches him visibly relax at her touch and her words, rubbing his hand over his face.

"Sorry, I just," he chuckles breathlessly. "You make me nervous, is all."

She raises her brows, a small smirk on her lips. "Oh, I do now?"

He rolls his eyes with a groan. "I'm never gonna hear the end of this."

She hums. "I didn't know I made the famous Ferrari driver nervous," she jokes while crossing her arms and giving him a knowing look.

His eyes flicker down from her eyes to her lips for a split second, then he smiles at her. "A little."

"A little?"

He purses his lips. "Okay a bit more than a little."

She laughs at his little confession, Charles pinching her waist as he pulls her with him. "You can give me shit later," he laughs. "But right now let's go get you changed into something that doesn't have a stain on it."

She lets him drag her along to the Ferrari paddock, in search of Rebecca and Carlos, knowing the WAG always had a backup set of clothing on her when need be.

Once Charles had found them, he explained the situation, watching as Rebecca lit up and happily said she'd lend a helpful hand.

Y/N followed the girl, keeping up the small talk as they made their way to the Ferrari motorhome, where Rebecca had a cute top waiting for Y/N.

She knew she wouldn't hear the end of it, the color of the top being a bright Ferrari red. It was a one-shoulder cropped tank top, the color sitting beautifully on her skin. Rebecca gave her a low whistle, causing Y/N to chuckle and roll her eyes.

"Red looks so good on you," she says, making Y/N shrug. Rebecca gives her a knowing look, but says nothing as the pair made their way back to the paddock.

Charles did a double take when she returned, his eyes taking in the red top that adorned her skin.

He smiled as he walked up to her. "Red is your color I think," he says, making her roll her eyes.

"Rebecca said the same thing," she answers, watching him nod. "She's never wrong."

Y/N thanks Rebecca one more time, alongside a hug. "Think about it," Rebecca whispers into the girl's ear before pulling away with a wink.

Charles then walks Y/N back over to the McLaren paddock where her brother and P sat. Max frowned at his sister. "I've been looking for you. Where did you run off to?" his eyes then dart to the new top she was wearing, then back to Charles. He gave Max a look.

"I bumped into her and thought I could help her get a new top," he explains. "I felt bad. So blame me for stealing her. Sorry, mate."

Max chuckles while nodding. "Of course it's a red top too," he jokes, Charles ears turning bright red, he puts his hands up in defense.

"Blame Rebecca for that one," he sputters, Max doing a once-over with a smug smirk while nodding slowly. "Uh-huh," Max trails off. "Well, thank you for helping her out," he says, a smug smirk only getting wider.

Charles nods curtly, before facing Y/N with a small smile, and squeezes her side. "Good seeing you, cherie," he mutters to her, kissing her cheek before he leaves her. Y/N realizing her side feeling slightly colder than it did when his hand was there.

She turns to watch him leave and head down the stairs, biting her lip without realizing it. Her head turns back to face her brother and Pietra.

The pair is staring at her with smug and knowing smiles. Max leans back in his seat, crossing his arms and clearing his throat.

Y/N squints her eyes at them. "What?" Watching her brother nod at her.

"Someone has a crush."

She scoffs at her brother. "You're reading into things," she chuckles while shaking her head.

Pietra laughs. "Oh, honey, no. You two were staring at each other like you want to-"

"Don't even say what you're going to say," Max whines, covering his face. "I don't need to hear that."

Y/N just laughs, pointing at Pietra. "You're wrong on top of that."

Pietra rolls her eyes with a smirk, and before she can argue further, Lando is seen walking up to the group, making Y/N want to fade away.

Lando sees her, only doing a double-take when he sees the color of her shirt, also realizing that this was indeed not the color she was wearing earlier. He slowly points at her shirt, Max chuckles.

"Dear old Ferrari man has a crush on my sister," Max admits, then points at her. "She's crushing on him as well."

"Maxwell!" Y/N hisses, watching him crack up. She doesn't miss the way Lando's facial expression drops, something unreadable in his expression.

"What d'you mean?" he asks slowly. Y/N groans while hiding her face.

"What he means," Pietra starts. "Charles spilled coffee on her and helped her get a new shirt. And apparently that was his chance to get her in red."

Lando's eyes snapped down to Pietra, Max just sitting there in a fit of giggles as his sister kicks his shin.

"He was just being helpful," Y/N grumbles. "Besides, Rebecca was the one who gave it to me. Not Charles."

Max looks back at her. "Sure, we know that," he says between laughs. "But the eye fucking you two were doing before he left said more than that. Especially that little kiss move-"

"He kissed you?" Lando cuts in, his tone sharp and stern. Max and Pietra look at him with certain looks. His head and eyes only focused on Y/N in that moment, who was now shifting on her feet with her arms crossed.

"It was just on the cheek," she rolls her eyes before glaring at Max. "Stop making it sound like he laid me out on the table or something," she hisses, making Lando choke on his spit while Max gagged.

"That's vile, do not ever say that again," he points at his sister with a disgusted look. "Second, I'm only saying it because I think you two would be good together."

That makes her eyes widen in shock, watching him put his hands up in defense.

"Say what now? I thought you said no racers."

He hums with a nod before pointing out to Lando. "Yeah, I said that mainly for that one," he says, missing how his mate clenched his jaw. "Charles, on the other hand? I hope it does happen. He's one of the good ones."

Y/N coughs awkwardly, not missing the way Lando scoffed at his best friend's words, mumbling something under his breath as he crossed his arms.

"Can we just change the subject, please? I'm not crushing on Charles, and I'm not going to date him."

Max gives her a knowing look before turning his gaze towards Lando. He frowns. "You good, mate?" he asks, watching as Lando snaps his gaze at Max. He nods curtly.

"Just don't care to hear about her sex life, you muppet. Charles is a player and only wants what he can't have," he admits, not missing the way Y/N glared straight to the side of his face. "Anyways, we're getting ready to start. I was gonna walk you lots to the club level."

Max nods before taking Pietra's hand to guide her. Lando kept his pace next to Y/N's, the girl not missing how his hand would brush against hers every so often.

She could see the gears turning in his head, clenching his jaw every so often, as if he was preventing himself from saying or doing something he might regret. Max and Pietra were further ahead of them, happily making their way to the balcony in the club level of the paddock, overlooking the racetrack.

"He can't give you what I can," the brit says next to her, causing her to snap her gaze at him with a frown. She scoffs.

"That's awfully daft, coming from you," she shoots back. "You ghosted me, remember? You don't have a say in my actions."

"Oh, so you are seeing Leclerc huh?"

She scoffs. "Go check on your girlfriend, Norris. The one you dropped me for."

He glares at her. "Y/N-"

"End of discussion, Lando."

She walks away, a part of her wanting him to grab her and pull her back. Show her she was his. Even if it was behind closed doors. The other part of her was happy he didn't. She wanted him to see that he couldn't have her. He missed the opportunity.

Don't call me your ex, 'cause I never met you

She kept close to her brother and P the entire race, zoning out the entire time the race went on.

Her mind didn't know what to think.

She missed Lando. She really did.

The other part of her though, was also pulling towards Charles.

Y/N couldn't tell if it was just because of how Lando reacted, or because of how she felt a new feeling whenever Charles was near her.

Or how she caught her stare lingering longer on Charles as he took P2. Or how his eyes found hers in the crowd, staring back at her, his smile becoming wider when he saw she was staring first.

It's all pins and needles, babe

I feel nothing for you, nothing for you

Now, here she stood, in the VIP section of the Monaco club after Lando placed P1 at his home race.

She had a drink in her hand, pretty sure the glass could break under her grip. Her eyes did not leave the way his hands and body moved with the blonde on the dancefloor.

At this point she couldn't tell if she was jealous, or pissed off. Or both.

She watched as his hands moved along her body, how his lips never left her body as they danced. He looked like a wet dream.

"You hold onto that glass any tighter, it's gonna shatter and cut up that pretty hand," a familiar French accent says next to her. Her eyes snap out of the daze, turning to see Charles taking the spot next to her.

He nods at her slowly. "You alright, cherie?" he asks her, making her laugh to herself before spinning a finger around the rim of her glass.

"Honestly, I don't know," she admits, looking back at his confused frown. "Can I be honest?"

"Always."

She sighs. "I had been seeing this guy. We weren't anything exclusive, but at the same time, it felt like it. Then out of nowhere, he just stops. No explanation, no excuses, nothing. Just drops me like I'm nothing," she explains, letting a bitter chuckle leave her lips.

"Then I found out it's because he had another girl. I don't even know how long. It was just out of the blue, and I guess I shouldn't have been as upset as I was about it. But I can't help it."

Charles takes in every word she's saying, nodding and humming at the appropriate times.

"It burns my chest seeing them, seeing him, act like I never even mattered," she admits. "But then, I began to realize something else. There's this other guy. I didn't even realize I felt good around him. Like I could relax around his presence. Forget about why I was so hurt about the other guy," she explains, not even realizing how easy it had become to open up to Charles.

The way his expression showed no judgment. No sense of uneasiness as she spoke. Just a genuine expression that showed he was listening to her.

"And part of me wanted this guy I was seeing," she says more to herself. "But a bigger part of me really wants this guy that makes me feel seen. Heard."

Charles nods at her, taking a sip of his drink. "You alright if I give you my advice?" he asks cautiously.

She nods. "Always," she copies his words, making him grin at her.

He points at Lando. "He's an idiot for letting you go," he admits, watching her face contort to confusion, and then to shock before shaking her head.

"I didn't- How did-"

He laughs at her, stepping closer. "It's not hard to see. You two weren't as slick as you thought," he admits, Y/N feeling her face begin to heat up.

"I'm sorry," she admits with a sigh, looking down at her now-empty glass. "I didn't mean to sound like that. I just- I didn't have anyone I trusted to talk to."

"And I'm just easier to talk to? Someone you trust?" he asks her, leaning his elbow on the bar behind them, a knowing smirk on his lips. She snaps her head to him.

As she was about to say something, he stood up straight, walked to stand in front of her, and took the glass from her fingers. She doesn't miss the way his fingers brush hers, goosebumps rising on her skin. He places the glass on the mahogany behind them, his eyes lowering to her own. She gulps as she watches his smirk widen just slightly, while he places both hands on the bar behind her, caging her in. His face was dangerously close to hers, the Monégasque not missing the way her breaths came out shaky.

"As for this other guy," he starts, his tone lower. Darker. "I think he's very worth your time. He wouldn't make you feel like Lando did. He'd take care of you. Treat you right. Show you how a woman like you should be worshipped."

Y/N feels her pulse quicken. "Besides," he mutters, bringing his lips closer to her own. "If you're choosing between two people, choose the second. Because if you really did like the first option, you wouldn't have fallen for the second."

That got Y/N's insides churning, knowing deep down Charles was right. He was so right.

He chuckled darkly as he watched his chest rising and falling quicker after he said that, placing his lips closer to her ear as he placed a light kiss against the lobe. "The second guy also just really wants to be selfish," he admits.

Y/N smiles slowly at his words, letting herself indulge slowly with Charles. She lets out a gasp as she feels his lips planting feather-light kisses from her jawline, down to her neck and her collarbone.

She finally trails her hands up his button-up, slipping underneath the half-open shirt, slithering to rest on the bare skin of his back just before it meets the crook of his neck. His head leaves her neck, bringing his head closer to her own.

"So this other guy," she says breathlessly. "You think he'd worship me, huh? Show me how worth it I am?"

He hums with a nod, kissing the corner of her lips. Y/N found herself craving more, her body aching for his own against hers. Skin to skin.

"He'd do more than just that," he chuckles against her jaw. "He'd take his time with you. Show you exactly how a woman like you should be appreciated. Till you're shaking."

Y/N lets out a breathless moan at that, one of her hands finding his hair. "Spoil you to death. Treat you like the absolute Queen you are."

Charles brings his head back up to really look at her. Y/N staring back into his own eyes, flicking down to his lips for a split second. "Charles," she says softly, earning a hum from him. "Kiss me please."

That's all it took for Charles to take her jaw in his hands, placing a passionate and messy kiss on her lips. Their teeth clashed, tongues messily battling against one another as she kissed him with such need. Such obsession.

The more they kissed, the more they craved one another. Charles let his hands fall from her jaw to her hips, pulling her lower body into his.

Lando was long forgotten in Y/N's mind. He was the last thing she was thinking of; she could forget his name if Charles kept up the way he touched and kissed her.

Little did she realize, Lando was now frozen in his spot on the floor. His eyes darkened. He glared as he watched the girl his heart yearned for, and the guy who was going to be six feet under if looks could kill.

He could tell it wasn't just for show either. She really wanted Charles. Charles wanted her.

He only knew that because of how she was kissing Charles, it was the way she used to kiss him. His heart hurt, chest tightened. He couldn't tear his eyes away from the scene across the club.

Magui was long forgotten in that moment, Lando realizing he lost the girl he wanted most.

He should've known.

Y/N whines at the loss of Charles' lips when he pulls back, the man looking down at her blown-out state. Her lips swollen as her eyes look up at him with a knowing look.

"What do you say, cherie?" he says slowly, watching her slowly smile.

"I think I'm open to giving this other guy a chance," she jokes, watching him bite his lip to hide the big ear to ear smile that was forming.

He leaned down to kiss her once more, before breaking away and lacing a hand with hers.

Charles began to lead her away from the bar, his gaze locking with Lando's as they passed by.

He didn't miss the way Lando slightly mouthed a 'what the fuck' at his friend, a glare in his direction. Charles held his head up high, smirking at Lando, giving him a sly little wink before he turned his attention to Y/N.

Lando saw the way her eyes looked up at Charles, like she finally felt happy. At ease in his presence. Like she had forgotten Lando existed in that moment. She probably did, and that hit him like a truck.

He watched as Charles placed his other hand on her lower back to help keep her next to him as they pushed through the crowd, making sure not to lose her as they headed out.

Lando didn't even excuse himself from Magui, earning a shocked squeak from her as she watched him rush away from the dancefloor.

Lando scurried past everyone and towards the front entry, pushing past the people who were trying to congratulate him as he passed by.

He didn't give a single fuck about any of them, his mind only thinking about her.

Please. Don't go home with him

His mind begged, wishing she could read minds. Read his.

The way he knew he was already way too late. Months too late.

Once he had gotten outside, he had seen Charles shutting her door before turning to thank the valet workers. His eyes flicked twice over to Lando's state. Trying his best to hide the winning smirk as he saw the disheveled state of the British man.

Charles looked back at his car towards her window, before looking back at Lando. He walked up to him, Lando's gaze hardening as he got closer.

"Don't," Lando warns him.

Warning him to not cross this line. To not take the girl that Charles knew he was so in love with, not take her home. He didn't like this feeling. He hated it.

That's when he realized what it was.

Lando Norris was jealous. He was jealous beyond words.

He never gets jealous.

Not until now.

Charles chuckles at him, patting his shoulder. "Lando," he chuckles. "You ruined your chances. Give her the chance to finally be happy, hm?"

He shook his head. "You can't give her what I can give her."

Charles bites his lower lip before speaking. "That's the point," he begins. "I wouldn't treat her like shit, like you did. I'll give her everything she deserves, and more. Not give her nothing, like you gave her."

That made Lando feel like he had been shot in the chest.

“I won’t ever let her feel or think she’s only good for one thing,” Charles adds, giving Lando a knowing look. Lando’s face drops slightly, then frowns. “I’m going to show her she’s worth more than she could ever imagine. Because she is.” Charles admits, a genuine look in his eyes.

Lando doesn’t know what to say in that moment. He felt defeated.

Because part of him knew (all of him knew) that Charles was good for her. He wouldn’t treat her anything lower than the Goddess she was.

Lando just hated that it wasn’t him.

Charles pats him on the shoulder. "Goodnight, mate," he says before walking away and getting into the car. Lando watched as the pair drove off into the night. Something was burning inside Lando's chest. Burned in his eyes.

Tears.

Jealousy.

Need.

Y/N smiled to herself as Charles and she drove along the roads, his hand gently on her thigh while hers rested on top of his.

Her phone buzzed, not once, not twice, but three times. This caused her to pick it up and look down at it. She thought she would feel something, anything, as she read the messages.

Please, don't go with him. I'm so in love with you

Come back to me, I'll be better. It hurts to see you not with me. Hurts to see you happy with him. I'll prove myself. I'll do better, for you

It's always been you

Y/N takes a deep breath as she begins to type with her free hand.

Your time ran out. A long time ago, Lando. It's time I let myself be happy.

Goodbye Lando

With that, she turned her phone off and looked over at Charles. His eyes gazed back at her, nothing but admiration as he stared at her.

"You okay?" he asks softly. She takes a moment before nodding.

"Yeah," she hums. "I am now."

[glitterfingers]

Started as a silly crush from twelve? Thirteen? years ago. These feelings have existed for more than a decade. I live a quick jeep away from where i last saw you. I still recall your face between my legs in the blue room that December morning. I'm not sorry I didn't stay when you asked, but I regret being scared out of my mind when you requested tulog muna tayo, huwag ka munang umalis. My regrets are few and far between but I'll admit i regret not staying. For you I admit I remain a staunch defender of being absolutely selfish with my heart. I would not have survived you if you lied and pretended to want me when you didn't. But i can live through this pining. Thanks for rejecting the hypothetical but sincere request, for not being an asshole and using me for your ego (the bar is in the lowest circle of hell). After all those years of denying it to myself, you remain a constant ache in my chest. I still dream about you once a year and am hit with obscene longing every time. It would be comical if I weren't so disgusted at how much i want. And I'm so frustrated because it's been four years since I've last talked to you and it's you that i want specifically and only you. The blue room is long gone. That morning exists only in my memories. I've known no peace since. Thought time away would make the desire fade but it only gave the yearning depth. I've tried I've been trying i continue to try to let it go, let the wanting of you go. I endure raw desperation and this version is somehow the most amusing to my other friends, but the worst to you and you're not the cause, i just wish it were easier for me to have been your friend without simultaneously craving you.

But my long term longing is in your shape and the color of your skin and the tattoos you let me bite and how the morning sun hit your eyes and how we made each other laugh and i miss you all the time. How are your parents. What did you think about Senshi's story from Dungeon Meshi. What obscure movie are you going to recommend me now. Let's debate on why you said Junji Ito was for normies. I'll give you some of my tea and you'll thank me. Your friends probably still love you, even though your lives have all evolved, just talk to them. Will you let me kiss you properly just one last time? Don't let me kiss you, i'll probably never want to let go. I still haven't, but I swear I've tried everything I know though. Or do let me. I dont know. I've loved a couple people since the last time i thought i was in love with you. Apparently i cannot framework myself out of desire (who knew), but I've pried away the excess. I can love people without wanting them in my life anymore. Tell your parents you love them before it's too late.

I send a quick prayer for you every year on your birthday, i stopped greeting you because you never sounded like you enjoyed any of it, but it doesn't matter, the prayer is for my benefit, i never forget. I wish i could.

I wanted you before I knew how to be your friend. Maybe now I am paying that price. I like to believe I'm a better friend and lover now too, but we owe each other nothing. I love you anyway. I know you're not happy, but I hope you're content. I hope one day I'll see you out and about and my heart will stop feeling like it'll explode at the sight of your face. I'm a good liar but i know i can't help but look at you with reverence. Is that why you always looked like you knew something i didn't? I wonder what you saw on my face those last few times. I never did know how to covet without sacrificing and carving out a part of myself, but whatever spell you have me on means I've gotten better at loving myself too. I am no longer unhinged by longing and regret and aching. Time and space away from you (and everyone else really) has taught me that i dont need to bleed to prove my capacity to love. That sometimes the best way to love someone is to leave them the fuck alone because it'll be the best for everyone involved.

I'll see you. Probably next year in my dreams again.

Dedicated to the girl who continues to haunt my dreams even though it's been years since we spoke.

erin morgenstern/richard siken/stick season - noah kahan/not a muse: the inner lives of women: a world poetru anthology; "mountain nights" - rati saxena, edited by kate rogers and viki holmes/unknown/ @2j/unknown/do I wanna know - arctic monkeys/dear friend, - dayglow/ @etherealarte/we should be well prepared - mary oliver

[leechqnsgirl]

‧₊˚ ☁️⋅♡🪐༘⋆ cause you're my iron man, and I love you 3000

notes: based off of this ask, this is kinda different from the actual ask I'm sorry 😭

-- you and niki have an argument.

or

-- the one where you both miss each other but don't know how to say it

niki x fem!reader | wc: 2.9k | angst, comfort, idol au | masterlist | warnings: language, crying, kissing, reader's a college student

****

the past two weeks have just been weird.

conversations between the two of you used to come natural.

it was almost like drinking water between the two of you. and its crazy to think of where you two are now.

it's hard to even fit your sleeping schedules today.

he's out all day and you're out for half of it.

the other half you don't get to breathe.

you're putting up with it because you knew this was the cost to be able to graduate with the degree that you want.

he hasn't even been staying many nights at your place anymore. you'd gotten the same text from him every night around seven pm for a week.

-sorry I can't come over tonight, don't wait up for me!

but the second week came and he stopped texting in all.

it stung a bit. because even though that message would bring your mood down. it was still from him. it was something from him.

sometimes you'd text him a good morning, he'd reply hours later with a good night.

it just felt like you were chasing after the shadow of him, you could see him there but he would inevitably be unreachable, and you were beginning to sense your legs giving out.

niki wasn't doing any better than you.

his face was drained of his natural color, he had bags under his eyes from the nights he lied awake in bed, fighting his thoughts.

it was never easy for him to speak on his feelings, never easy to be the first to do something.

his thoughts were eating him alive. no matter how much he tried, he just couldn't reach out first.

he hated how he felt. he hated himself. he hated that he stopped texting you, stopped calling, stopped coming by.

your apartment was a thirty minute drive from his dorm. he doesn't know what's holding him back.

the boys had noticed this change in him, but nobody asked him about it. they knew he'd just brush it off. he'd tell them it's nothing.

so they didn't push. they stayed quiet. despite the soundless whispers they'd share between each other at night about him.

niki knew.

how could he not? he noticed everything.

it wasn't until the end of the two week mark that jake walked up to him.

they finished practice and the plan was to shower then head over to the recording room.

everyone left, and jake was about to follow after but his hand slipped from the handle.

the door shut abruptly, the noise catching niki’s attention, making him turn his head towards the door.

"hyung?" niki called out, jake dropped the bag that was hanging off his shoulder.

he walked over to where niki was sitting against the mirrored walls.

he copied his position, sitting criss-crossed in front of him.

"just," he sighed, "just say it, niki." jake's eyebrows furrowed, "what's going on?"

niki bit his tongue. jake didn't even ask what's wrong. he asked what was going on. and that was enough of a difference to make his eyes sting.

"I'm an asshole." niki whispered. "I-I don't even know what to do to fix what I did." niki felt a hand on his knee. it was warm against his cold skin, even though he was still sweaty from practice.

"I can help, or i'll try to. just tell me."

niki's head finally raised, his red eyes that were heavy from fatigue finally meeting jakes.

"I don't even know how it started. we were fine like three weeks ago. I was holding her before bed, and she'd wake me up. we'd get ready for the day together," he sniffled, "a-and then I just started getting really busy with our comeback and I was canceling a lot on her. and the days I was finally free she'd cancel on me because of finals seasons. it was just back and forth from there." niki rubbed his left eye with his index finger. jake saw that it was wet when he lowered his hand from his face.

"I stopped texting her everyday because I felt embarrassed. I mean, I'm her boyfriend. the whole point of me is to be there for her. she shouldn't even have to call out my name for me to be next to her."

jake let out a quiet breath. niki breathed in a heavy one.

"I really fucked up. and I can't even bring myself to talk to her. every chance that I get to, I just pull back. I don't know whats fucking wrong with me." he let out a sob now, his hands coming up to rest on his head.

jake pulled his hands away from his head, grabbing his shoulders.

"nothing is wrong with you. okay?" niki tilted his head. "you're just going through a bump in the road. a very large bump. but one nonetheless. and you know the thing about bumps?" niki shook his head. "they end. they're there, and they're a pain in the ass but they end."

jake saw the tears in his eyes fall down, his nose red.

"go over to her apartment right now. I'll tell everyone you weren't feeling well. I want you to go over to her empty handed and talk. even if the thought of it is nauseating." niki gulps, but he nods his head.

jake pulled him into his arms, just holding him there. he could feel niki trembling. the poor boy went nearly a month with no touch, no contact.

niki pulled away, looking at jake's face for a few seconds.

"thank you."

--

the drive to your apartment was daunting.

the whole thirty-two minutes he was on the verge of either sobbing or throwing up.

so when he finally parked his car in front of the building, he rubbed a hand over his face and pulled his hoodie over his head.

he made his way up to your room number. a heavy breath made its way out of his body.

he knocked three times then stopped.

looking at his phone, it was 6:13.

he doesn't know if you're home right now. he doesn't even know if you're home.

soon enough, the door swung open.

"riki?"

his heart broke at your voice.

you couldn't believe that he was standing in front of you.

your thoughts were nonstop but your mind was empty.

you thought seeing him would make you sad, upset.

but really, it just made you angry.

you brought him inside. not wanting your nosy neighbors to get an ear of whatever was going to happen.

"what are you doing here." you asked flatly.

you could see his lips turn downwards.

"y/n-" he stopped himself when he saw your face.

you looked so....disappointed, angry, upset, annoyed, and everything in between. the look was enough to make all his emotions resurface.

no words were coming out of his mouth and that somehow worsened it all for him.

"I know you didn't drive all the way here after three weeks to guilt trip me, riki." you scoffed, crossing your arms over your chest.

"no.." he mumbled, gazing at the ground.

"god, I'm so sorry. I don't even know how to start." he licked his lips, "I was so-, god, so wrong and selfish and I shouldn't have ghosted you. I'm supposed to be there with you and I failed. I left y-you alone because I was afraid. and you know what? I still am." his voice broke towards the end.

your face softened a bit. just a bit.

"that doesn't make up for any of this, riki." your voice was firm, your hands moved to gesture between you two.

"I know." he sounded so broken, "and it's my fault, I should've talked with you, I shouldn't have kept everything inside." "but you did."

he felt powerless. like no matter what he would say, or do, wouldn't be enough.

"y/n, please. it was so hard, baby. I swear it." he felt a lump form in his throat. "I couldn't sleep well, I didn't wanna eat. I missed you. so much. and it fucking killed me knowing I could have fixed everything earlier. it was just so hard. it felt like the past three weeks, everything bad in my life was piling up. it's been so hard."

he took a step closer to you.

"I love you. I love you. I love you and everything about you. I missed all of you too." his hands balled into fists on his sides, he felt like he had to physically stop himself from touching you. he didn't know if he had your permission just yet.

"I missed how you'd hold me, how you'd wake me up, how it was you I'd come home to." he knew he probably looked and sounded pathetic. but at this point? he didn't care.

when you saw niki cry, that was it for you. you couldn't help but get watery eyes too.

he never cried, not in front of you at least.

its been two years of you two dating and he's never actually cried in front of you.

"riki-" he shook his head. "please don't call me that." his eyes looked at you, they were red, a bit puffy and held such a weight to them.

he always told you how much he hated hearing his full name from you.

"I-I know i shouldn't have done all of this. and i know i keep saying how i shouldnt have or what i should've done but, please. can i get another chance?"

you sighed, the whole facade you were hoping of keeping up came crumbling down.

you couldn't stay mad at him, maybe upset, but not mad. and you didn't want to yell at him.

"okay.." you walked up to right in front of him, not making any contact yet. "but we're still gonna talk later."

he nodded his head, biting on his lower lip.

"it isn't just your fault, its mine a bit too." he shook his head at your words. "n-no, baby. its all me. really."

you brought a hand up to his cheek. you felt your heart break when he closed his eyes, leaning into your touch.

how did you go nearly a month without this man? and how did he nearly go a month without you?

he wrapped his arms around you, pulling you into his body. his warmth. the way his shoulders shook slightly against yours and the crook of your neck got wet from his face was enough to really break you.

having him in your arms like this, you couldn't deny the fact that you didn't miss him anymore.

niki kept his voice quiet, still muttering a string of "I'm sorry"s into your body.

you brought a hand up to rest on the back of his head, your fingers tangling into his hair as you pulled closer to your body.

"I missed you too, baby. I missed you so much. i'm sorry."

the feeling of your hand in his hair and the emotion he felt from your words calmed him down. shaky breaths leaving him now.

ten minutes, ten solid minutes of the two of you sitting in each other arms passed when you said the first word.

"niki, baby?" you called out softly, you heard him reply with a hum. "let's eat, yeah? I know you're probably hungry." he pulled away from you, but kept a hand on your sleeve. he nodded his head, following you as you walked into your kitchen.

you had some leftover food from yesterday, and so you began heating those up.

the whole time you could feel him watching him. like he wanted to say something but he couldn't bring himself to say it. and whenever your eyes would look at him, his would stray away. gazing at the ground as he played with the drawstrings of his hoodie.

niki doesn't think he's ever felt so welcomely unwelcome.

he knew you were okay with him being there, in your own space, but something was still eating at him, telling him he shouldn't even be allowed to have the luxury of sitting down and eating with you.

he was quiet, standing by the entrance of the kitchen and watching you.

the same kitchen you two would make your morning coffees together and bake silly recipes you found online.

it's crazy how fast things can change.

"riki?" you called out. "yeah?" he looked at you with glossy eyes. "come on, let's go sit."

the first thing he noticed when you two sat at your dinner table was the food.

you'd purposefully given him a much larger portion than your own plate.

he reached over the table for your hands, placing a kiss to both of them.

"thank you." he whispered, holding onto your hands tightly.

the whole dinner was silent, you both finished and brought your dishes to the kitchen. he washed and you dried.

that feeling settled into niki again.

"can I stay over....?" he asked when you two finished cleaning.

did he really think you were going to say no?

"of course you can, you wanna freshen up? I'll just be out here." you placed a hand on his shoulder, rubbing up and down. he nodded his head, walking away.

niki went into your room, you had a cabinet full of his clothes because of how often he'd stay over.

he picked out some for himself and went into the bathroom.

you still had his toothbrush, his face wash, his shampoo. everything was still there.

maybe he was in his head too much.

twenty minutes passed from then until he came out, he seemed calmer. his face looked like it too.

niki saw you working on the couch, laptop in your lap as you typed away to whatever assignment you were doing.

he took a seat next to you, his leg bouncing as he decided what he should say. or do.

before he even knew it, you were closing your laptop and facing him.

you laid your head on his chest, snuggling into him. niki felt his heartbeat speed up, he was pretty sure you could hear it.

"I'll always love you. no matter what." you reassured, pressing a kiss to his collarbone.

his breath hitched, and his cheeks tinted with a light pink. niki was always a bit sensitive there. the lack of physical contact and sensitivity made him catch your kiss off guard.

he cleared his throat, wrapping an arm around your waist.

your face was resting softly, there didn't seem to be any trace of your previous emotions.

your eyes were heavy with sleep, cheeks bare from any makeup, and your lips,

god your lips.

he missed them. he missed how they felt, how warm they were. he missed the feeling of them on his own.

he didn't even realize he had a hand tracing over your face. he pulled his hand back quickly.

he couldn't be the first one to touch you. not after everything. you have to set the boundaries and he'll follow.

"why'd you move your hand?" his eyes widened. "u-um, I didn't know if you'd want me to...um, touch you again." his voice was so small, not even in volume but just in its emotion.

"you really think that I don't want you to? now?" he shrugged his shoulders weakly.

you got up, moving to straddle his lap, placing both your hands on his face.

"baby," you looked into his eyes, gaze never wavering. "i'm your girlfriend, niki. I want you to hold me and touch me." your thumb rubbing circles into his face.

he nodded his head, placing his shaky hands on your waist. he breathed out from his nose, his eyes closing and his head falling onto your shoulder.

"right," he mumbled.

he relaxed himself again, focusing on the way your body felt against his.

he doesnt think he could even express in words how much pain he was in for the past weeks.

hed gotten so used to everything from you.

when he'd get a hug from his members, it didn't feel the same as yours. it didn't hold the same satisfying heaviness as yours did.

he'd never tell you, but over at his dorm you left a hoodie behind.

every night he fall asleep with it, and every morning he'd wake up early enough to hide it before one of the boys saw.

but he didn't know that he did a bad job at that. he didn't know that jungwon was always the one to wake up the earliest and peek into everyone's rooms.

and he didn't know that jungwon had texted you countless times, asking when's the next time you'd come over. just to be completely dodged by your replies.

and you'd never tell him, but he had a cologne of his that he left over at your place once. and you'd spray it on one of your pillows, holding it when you'd fall asleep.

"I'm tired, ki..." you mumbled against him, adjusting your head against his chest.

he bit back a smile, one caused purely because of the cuteness he saw from you.

"let's sleep, then." he said quietly, holding onto you as he laid down on the couch. your body on top of his.

he closed his eyes when he heard your voice again.

"ki?"

"yeah?"

"you'll be here...when I wake up. right?"

he interlocked his hand with yours. squeezing gently.

"yeah. I will." he promised, bringing your hand up as he placed a kiss on it. 

[pearlfull]

party on u ( part of u knew )

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ SYNOPSIS: 〝 You know that I've been waiting for you. 〞 Batboys x Reader. ⋆˚࿔ A/N: Heavily inspired by Charli XCX and the devastating edits to this song lol. Dick's is the most literal interpretation of the song. Jason's weird. I love Tim Drake. Yearning bro. I'm taking requests + commissions! More details on that soon. Help a college girl save for car repairs<3

ᯓ★ DICK GRAYSON.

IT WAS SOMETHING UNSPOKEN YET PRESENT. You weren’t just friends. But you didn't call it love either.

It started with shared takeout food.

Shaky laughter while pinning you on the ground during training. Late night text messages. Sleepless nights spent on the same couch. Dick's hand laced yours in the dark, and he tried to match your breath's rhythm as you fell asleep on his chest, fingers curling into your sleep shirt.

Eventually, there were white tulips he brought after work and Bruce was asking about you.

He was always careful with you.

Because he'd done the song and routine before. Been left with the kind of bruises in places you couldn't see.

There were nights when he'd leave before you woke. He'd left you coffee on your nightstand like it was a consolation prize. And you let him. Let him stay his welcome way too long, and then let him disappear for a couple days. Maybe it was stupid, but it was better than nothing.

wonderboy i didn’t want to miss you tonight i already do when you’re still in the room

You hadn't seen him in weeks. Not out of anger, not resentment. Still. It was on purpose. On both ends.

You'd stop asking if he wanted you to pick up candy for him at the grocery store and he had stopped asking when he could see you again. Maybe he had thought if he pulled away it would go away.

The invitation felt like a test. An unspoken, come if you still care. Or come so I know you haven't stopped.

It's his birthday, and silver balloons litter the hallway, and Donna laughter is already ringing through as you step in, and Roy's throwing gummy bears into Wally's glass.

You're wearing something that made you feel braver than you were, black fabric clinging to your hips--looking through the crowd with a tight chest.

His grin was the center of the room. His bright blue eyes found yours, and he didn't come over. His pupils were blown.

Kept staring, almost comically. Wondering if whether he still had the right to do that, even though he'd invited you. And you came. And he had worn that cologne you'd mentioned you'd loved, and even had tried to make his hair fall nicely. He kind of felt like a thirteen year old boy getting ready for his first Sadie Hawkins dance. It was wracking to feel like that again.

But maybe he was remembering just how much he'd hurt you by staying so close and never choosing.

You crossed the room slowly. Talked to Donna, and let Roy grab you a drink.

“I didn’t think you’d come.”

Dick's balcony's always been cold. Maybe he'd overstepped by draping his jacket over your pretty shoulders.

(But neither of you cared, and the lining was so nice!)

“I didn’t think you’d ask.” Your voice doesn't come out quiet, and you're surprised by its steadiness.

Dick looked down at his shoes. “I didn’t know if I deserved to.”

Your smile was glossy, close lipped. “You don’t get to disappear and then expect me to ask you to show up. It's mean.”

“I know.” A beat. “Uh, when I was halfway, I could pretend I wasn’t scared.”

“Were you?”

“Terrified.” He laughed, shaking his head. “I know that seems like such a shitty cop out. The whole, commitment phobe thing. But I still wanted you to come tonight.” Dick stopped. Cracked his knuckles. “I’ve missed you.”

“I don't believe in love that waits.”

Dick's brows are knit closely. “I know.”

“I'm not gonna be waiting.”

“I don’t want you to. I'll meet you where you are. Sorry I didn’t sooner.”

His breath clouds in the air. His voice cracks as he adds, “I get why you stopped asking.”

“Didn’t want to keep asking for something that wasn't fully ours.”

“That’s on me.”

“You were scared?”

“Still kinda am.”

He shifts beside you, steps closer. Adjusts his jacket, so the collar doesn't look rumpled. Dick's fingers brush the side of your throat.

Inside, he doesn't reach for your hand. Just walks close. As close as you'll let him. Close enough that it’s obvious.

You walk back to your car. Your phone lights up.

wonderboy thanks for coming beautiful you didn’t have to

you don’t thank me happy birthday 💙

ᯓ★ JASON TODD.

JASON IS ALWAYS AROUND. Your brother's second shadow. Not because they're attached at the hip. Roy is one of the few people that lets him stand beside him without flinching.

Initially, he barely acknowledges you.

He'll grunt a greeting when you grab a glass of juice, nods from across the kitchen. He always leaves his bike helmet on the counter tile like it's a centerpiece. It smells like gunpowder and iron, and you definitely think it says way more than he ever does with his mouth. Gun oil. Boots on the carpet. Pride and Prejudice folded in his back pocket.

You were studying journalism at university. Doing some stories. Freelance. An open notebook tucked under your arm. You asked questions too fast sometimes--half Harper nature--about everything, about nothing.

And Jason didn’t like it. Said so.

“Why do you talk to people like you’re digging for something?”

“Cause people lie.”

He didn’t say anything after that.

It was Roy’s fault! He left his phone out on the sofa. You didn’t care to look, but the cracked screen had some picture of you and Roy. Jason sent it.

jaybird when was this is she dating someone?

roy tf do you care lmao don’t be fucking weird

jaybird just asking.

roy that’s my sister.

jaybird shut up.

You noticed him staring more after that.

One time at breakfast, you spilled coffee on the edge of your sweater sleeve, cursing under your breath. You didn’t think he was even awake. Jason was slumped at the table over a bowl of cereal. His hoodie pulled up like he hadn’t slept at all. He passed you a paper towel before you even asked. Didn’t even look at you.

Later, your old press badge was pressed against the counter. It was lost for weeks. Bent but clean.

“You found this?” you turned to Roy, eyes glittering.

Roy rubbed his mouth. “Huh?”

Jason starts asking you things. Small things.

“Where’d that article of yours go? The vigilante case?”

“Sleep last night?”

He asked them like it didn't matter, like he didn't already know the answers. His fingers drummed while waiting for your replies, and he seems to drink in every single thing you say.

An interview that went south. A CEO with yellowed teeth called you doll. You bit your tongue till it stung.

Jason's in the garage, with a wrench.

“[Name], you okay?”

“I'm fine, Jay.”

“Don't lie.”

You set your leather bag on the hood of your car.

The wrench drops. “Wanna go hit something?”

You blinked. Slowly. "Sorry?”

“Gym. Pads. Gloves. I'll hold them for you.”

A smile stretches and he swears he feels like he's being lit from the inside. The way it's just for him. “Is that your version of like, a hug?”

“Take it or leave it.”

Roy didn’t pick up tonight. After a date that made your head ache, where the guy with a cheap haircut only spoke about himself, forgot his wallet, you stood outside alone. Cold.

Jason showed up instead.

His hoodie half-zipped, breath fogging in the air, from jogging, car parked across the street, his white streak a little matted. Green eyes scanned your face, and he grabbed the heels dangling from your fingers.

Your purse slipped off your shoulder, and Jason took it mid slide too.

He held both all the way home in his lap as he drove.

You let him walk you to your building, and the air had seemed to have hit you harder this time. Jason still had your bag and heels, and the space between you seemed to buzz.

The stairwell was bright, and the front light hummed over your head. Your throat was tight as you croaked out a "Thank you", softly and every word you wanted to say seemed to taunt you as you realize you rather liked his green eyes, and the golden rings inside them.

He seemed to notice your observation, and his eyes fell to the floor, the corners of his lips lifting so slightly. So, you let your hand fall between you, barely. So his could brush against it. Fingertips, then your pinky hooked his.

He turned his hand, observing the way they fit. Held it tighter, tighter than you expected.

ᯓ★ TIM DRAKE.

YOU'VE ALWAYS LIKED QUIET. Which is a good thing, because you have little else but that in a gas station working a graveyard shift. It's mostly peaceful. As peaceful Gotham can get. Little customers. No noise. Just you, and the fluorescents and the freezer that groans when it turns on.

Sometimes, you leave the counter to stand under the overhang light.

You see him for the first time at 3:24 AM.

The red and black suit. The insignia. A cowl that didn't cover his lips. Red Robin.

He doesn’t say anything. Just lands on the roof like he belongs there. Kinda freakish.

He was gone before you could look again.

The second time he shows up, he taps on the bulletproof glass with a gloved knuckle and gestures to the vending machine near the left of the entrance.

"It ate my dollar," he says.

You blink. "For real?"

"Swear on the mask."

Pretty big swear. So, you open the door. He's taller than you thought he would be. And younger. Same age, or around from what you can make of him.

You slide an energy drink and a bag of chips across the counter. "Next time you save the city bird boy, ask for some change."

He laughs. And you hate how much you like the way his lips curve.

He comes back after that. Not every single night. Although, that'd be fun. But it wasn't enough for you to expect him.

He never buys anything from you. He leans against the counter and asks how your shift was, and you hand him a bottled water and piece of bubblegum. He asks about the books you read behind the register.

"Jane Eyre?" he'd asked with a raised brow. "Sort of a dramatic choice for a Tuesday."

"Says the guy in a bird costume."

He laughed again. Now you hated how familiar it sounded.

But you didn't think much of it. Not until the week Tim stops coming to class.

He was in your study group. Quiet. He had the most gorgeous smile you think you'd seen. All toothy and boyish, despite the dark circles shadowing underneath his eyes.

You liked him more than you meant to. Still do. You swore not to, because there was something about him that seemed like if you reached out, he'd disappear like smoke. And it was getting ridiculous. You'd worn a skirt to class and curled your hair and hoped he'd notice. Forming a crush on someone because he had asked you how your day was and always helped look for your pen underneath your seat during lecture. But he was always noticing things. Listening to you, and he said your name like it was a secret that you both shared.

When he misses study group, then class, then that dumb open mic night you invited him to, you tell yourself it's nothing.

But then Red Robin shows up that same night, again.

He's chipper. "Long night?"

You let the silence stretch, doodling on some scratch paper.

He tilts his head, rocking on his heels. "Have a bad shift?"

"No," you say slowly, "Just kinda missing someone."

The mask twitches. You don't notice.

He starts coming around regularly.

You talk. About stupid shit, important stuff. Your morals. His commentary on the mayor.

You mention how sometimes you wish had a different life. How you want to graduate university already.

He's quiet as he nods, locking eyes with you.

Then he says, “I think you’re doing way better than you think.”

That's not fair to you. Because that sounds like something Tim would tell you over text casually. It makes your stomach twist and you wonder if you're falling in love with a mask, a voice, because he reminds you of someone else.

And he doesn’t even know that.

Tim knows.

He talks to you at night with a different voice, he holds himself differently and pretends that he’s not the same guy who used to try to make jokes clumsily to make you laugh. He loves your laugh.

He watches you watch him and says nothing.

If he tells you, it’ll ruin the quiet connection you’ve built. The thing he keeps crawling back to when the city’s too heavy.

[cherrygirlfriend]

PROFESSOR DONALDSON

♡ pairing: married professor!art x student!reader

♡ summary: art has a thing for one of his students and when he confides to his best friend about it, he sees her at the same bar.

♡ warnings / tags: smut, age gap (30s, early 20s), thigh riding, cheating, patrick being a wingman. MDNI! wc: 1.4k

♡ author's note: this has been in my drafts since april… sorry 😔

ART MASTERLIST ♡ 5K MASTERLIST

art knew that every part of his attraction towards you was wrong— not only was he a married man with a daughter, over ten years your senior, but the worst part was that he was your professor.

but every time you walked into the room, it was as if his eyes were pulled to you by a magnetic force; the way your smile showed off the dimples that looked hand-carved to your cheeks, how it seemed that the sun always seemed to find your eyes and make specifically them brighter than anything else in the room, your hand raising to brush a strand of hair behind your ear, showing the same pair of pearl earrings you wore every day. it was like everything was slow-motion when you walked into the room, like the melodic sound of your laughter tuned out every other noise.

not only that, but you were one of his brightest students; always writing down notes, a serene smile on your face as your eyes flickered from him to your notebook - he doesn't think you've ever even yawned during one of his lessons. sometimes, after class was over, you'd walk up to his desk, art's eyes widening as you cocked your head to the side with a genuine smile on your lips, and even though his ears started buzzing the moment you said something to him, he could read your lips enough to know you were complimenting his class, art offering a shy chuckle and a shake of his head with a quiet thanks.

at this point, though, art was just ready to admit defeat; he knew that it was wrong for him to have such thoughts about you, such feelings towards you, but he couldn't help it. so as long as he didn't do anything about it, he'd be fine. he was a grown man, he had self-control.

"so." patrick clapped his hands on the hardwood counter of the bar as he settled down next to art, ordering the same thing as his blonde friend had gotten, whiskey on the rocks. "what did you call me here for? doubt it's to party." he said, taking a sip of his drink, "tell uncle patrick."

art took off his glasses, rubbing the corners of his eyes with his thumb and index finger, placing the lenses down on the counter, and downing his whiskey in one large swig, tapping the edge of the glass to signify he wanted a refill, letting out an exasperated sigh, all the while patrick looked at his friend with widened eyes.

"what do i do..." art mussed up his hair, his lips pursed, "if i'm... attracted to someone i really shouldn't be?" patrick turned to look at art with narrowed eyes, letting out a soft chuckle; he saw the guilty in art's eyes, and immediately knew. "you have a crush on one of your students, don't you?"

art's eyes nearly bulged out of his eyes as he looked around, as if someone had told his deepest, darkest, secret to patrick; but the man simply chuckled, "dude, it's fine to have crushes on your students, just as long as you don't act on them."

but art couldn't hear a single word patrick was saying; because as soon as you spotted art, you smiled, lifting your hand up, waving at the man; and before he could pretend that he didn't see you, you had started walking over. "shit." he mumbled under his breath, catching patrick's attention. "what?" "that's her." "your little cr- YEOUCH!" art kicked patrick's foot under the table, interrupting the other man's sentence just as you got to the bar.

"i didn't expect to see you here, mr. donaldson." you chuckled softly, seeing the tight smile on art's lips. you tilted your head to the side as the man scratched the back of his head, "i could say the same." "i'm patrick." the black-haired man you'd noticed was accompanying your professor, and you turned to look at him, looking the man up and down, sizing him up with narrowed eyes, before telling him your own name. "i should go, my friends are gonna join me soon."

"ye-" "no, no. you should stay and have a drink with us while you wait for your friends." patrick grinned, stopping art's attempt from getting you to leave them. "is that alright with you, mr. donaldson?" you asked with a coy smile, the man clearing his throat, trying his best not to look at your cleavage, or how your skirt had slightly ridden up. "yes, that's fine. and, uh, you can call me art, since we're not on campus."

"alright, art." your lips curled up, and the way his name rolled out of your mouth so smoothly, the way your plump lips looked as you said it caused a twitch in his trousers as you pulled back a stool, sitting down next to art.

it was like talking to an old friend, like talking to someone art had known his entire life. one drink after another, the conversation between you two just… flowed. you didn't even notice when patrick slipped away, or even when your hand moved itself to art's thigh after a joke he'd told you had made you nearly keel over in laughter.

patrick did, though; the man was watching it all go down from a slight distance away, leaning against a jukebox, swirling around the in his glass of whiskey; a priceless grin on his face as soon as your lips connected with art's, only widening when he saw you two stumble into the women's bathroom of the shitty dive bar.

'don't shit where you eat' is what you told your friends every time they told you about some coworker they had a thing for; it was never a good idea to hook up with someone you knew you wouldn't be able to avoid. but as your professor out of all people sucked your nipple into his mouth, he might as well have sucked all the common sense out of your brain. you arched into him as art's hands slid up your skirt, his large, callouses hands gripping your thighs as you straddled his thigh.

"oh, god, mr. donaldson…" the term slipping out of your mouth without you even realizing, the man letting your nipple out of his mouth with a wet pop! as he looked up at you, your cheeks starting to feel warm with embarrassment.

but when you looked down at art, he had a small grin playing on his lips as he moved you on his thigh, the friction causing electricity to run through your veins as you felt the wet patch in your panties growing.

you rubbed art through his trousers, the man letting out a whine as he continued moving you as you ground down on his muscular thigh.

even though you were both still half-dressed, the pleasure you got just from the way art moved you on his thigh was heavenly, one of his hands squeezing the fat of your ass.

the drinks you'd had made every sensation feel so much better, every pulse of pleasure… the bathroom was filled with the sound of your mingled breaths, with your lewd moans, the pleasure in your abdomen building up and building up…

until finally it all crashed down, pleasure flooding through your entire body, your pussy clenching around nothing as your orgasm crashed through your body.

that was the moment art knew that he was screwed; because as he watched you come undone on his thigh, no part of him felt guilty. only thing he could think about was how beautiful you looked in that moment, and how he was the one to make you feel that way.

taglist: @h8aaz @purpleplumpudding @cinnamoncunt @nonietosay @ariieeesworld @in-my-feels-probably @harringtonsbowgirl @lacelottie @destinedtobegigi @jessalys @lacy-doe @aliluvssyou @lexasaurs634

click here to join the taglist! 🤎

[mealodyd]

touchy pervy bf Jake who cant keep his hands off of reader even if they're in public he's just constantly groping n kissing her.

touchy pervy bf Jake who can't keep his hands off of reader even if they're in public he's just constantly groping and kissing her

Jake sim x Fem!reader

Warnings:  Groping(Consent).,  Kissing, public groping

WC: 1.1k(1,120)

Notes: Omg thank you so much for this idea. This is my first one and I love it!!  Also, this is proofread so if it has errors, it is all my fault and sorry in advance.

You are your boyfriend. Jake has been together for 5 years now and honestly nothing that you do anymore is new.  Until you go into public with him Ever since Jake started dating you, he had always been pervy and very touchy and it never ever bothered you until he started doing it in public where you knew it was weird for you.

You've been up all day looking through your closet drying to find a dress but nothing stood out to 

“Baby, can we go shopping? I need a dress for my sister's wedding.” Since your sister's wedding was in 5 weeks you wanted to be prepared so you know that you have a  dress that fits and is ready to be worn.

Jake looks up from his phone “Don't you already have enough dresses in the closest wear one of those” You look at Jake like he was crazy” Yeah i have dresses but not one for wedding i don't want to show up in a dress that doesn't look good enough for my sister”  You knew that would be his answer so you decided to test him.

Jake singed and put his phone down and got up from the bed “We can get a dress, but i have to be the one to choose it because i want to make sure you look extra good for me”  “Jake you don't even know how to choose a dress what makes you think you can choose one for the wedding?”  You knew that Jake didn't know how to clothes shop because you were the o9ne always buying clothes for him “Trust me I know how to dress shop”.

---

You and Jake headed to the mall and found a nice store that had some dresses to look at.  “I'm going to go choose a few dresses just wait by the dressing room”  You listened and went and sat in the dressing room waiting for Jake which took around 10 minutes.

The door opens and reveals Jake holding a few dresses” I got 6 dresses for you to Tryon and see if you like” 7 dresses which was a lot, but you decided that you really wanted to look at what Jake picked out, so you got the first one and started taking your clothes off.

---

“Jake I've already tried 6 on and haven't liked any of them. Do I have to try on the last one?”  YOu are already tired of trying on dresses and didn't really have the motivation to try on the last one.” Baby just try it on and if you don't like it we can just see if you can pick a few and try those ones on.”

You grabbed the last dress and started trying it on.  The dress was baby blue and was one that fit onto yourcurves.You put the dress on but couldn't do the zipper yourself so Jake had to help you out. 

Jake's fingers lightly touching your spine made you shiver, and he noticed it. “All done baby, look” It was amazing the dress you didn't think would look good snatched all your curves and made you look amazing “see baby i told you i can dress shop” Jake says as he hugs his arm around your waist and kisses your shoulder.

“Jake wow i didn't think that this one would look like this on me.”  Jake wasnt really listening to you as he had started to slide higher up and started to touch your boob. “Jake what are you doing you can't be doing this here right now.”  You knew that if he started touching you like this this normally would go so well.

“Baby just let me touch you.  You look so good in this dress I just can't resist.”  Jake was so in love he just wanted to touch you anywhere you went.

You push Jake off of you because you knew that you shouldn't be doing this and decided to take the dress off “i going to the dress and we are going to be get some food and maybe ice cream and if you do that again then i'm going to return the dress and wear something i already have I can't have you doing this right now.”

Jake ended up paying for the dress and you guys decided to get pizza. 

---

Once you sat down in the booth which for some reason had to be in the back of the restaurant which was just your luck with Jake being very touchy right now.  Once you told the waitress you ordered that when Jake put his hand on your thigh which was nothing but you knew what he was trying to do.

His hand slowly became closer to your skirt and you knew that if you said something he would most likely stop but you didn't really want it to stop so you didn't say anything. Jake leans over into your ear so only you can hear him even though there was nobody really around. “Baby you look really good in that dress” YOu close your eyes as Jake kisses your jaw.

“Jake, you know I don't like it when you do these kinds of things in public. I would rather wait until we get home.”  “I know you don't like it but i just can't wait i need you right now”

“I'm not doing anything with you right but you can do something that doesn't seem us in front of other people”  Jake looks around where you are ‘There are no other people around us right now?”  “STILL Jake I don't want people knowing.”

With you saying that Jake turns to you and kisses you on the forehead then looks down at your lips before kissing you hard with groping your boobs.  He  was obsessed that he could barely keep his hands off of you wherever you went.  Jake takes his left hand and puts in tino your shirt and then bra and squeezes your boob as if there was no tomorrow.

You knew you had to keep watch, but you couldn't because of how good it helped so you shut your eyes “Omg J-jake” Jake looks up at your face and smirks then continues.  Jake lifts his feed and kisses you “You so pretty” “Jake I-

---

Then suddenly you hear someone coming towards your table and push Jake away and pull down your shirt.  “Here you go mam thank you for waiting” The waitress sets down the pizza as you're breathing hard and flustered then you look at Jake and his face is all neutral as if nothing happened.

When the waitress leaves you look at Jake “I told you I didn't like doing this in public now emagine is she saw us doing that and if she ended up kicking us out.”  “It kinda seemed like you liked it” Jake was smirking hard and grabbing a piece of pizza and eating it as if nothing happened.

“As soon as we are done, we are ho8inh homie and not getting any ice cream” “fine with me”.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Guys I'm sorry if this doesn't seem good, not the best at on demand request anyway i hope you guys enjoy this whole thing and the second part of “What is Love?” will be in the works!

[burningcheese-merchant]

I'm really sorry for asking, I hope this isn't an intrusive question. You don't have to answer if you don't want to, but I've noticed you've toned down your burningcheese posts. Are you taking a break? I hope this ask doesn't come around as being demanding or intrusive. I just really miss seeing burningcheese since there's hardly anything on the tags anymore from what I've noticed. If you are taking a break, please don't feel pressured to answer this post. You deserve a break after everything that's happened

Have I? Doesn't really seem like that to me... But I guess I don't know? Feels like I've been posting and reblogging stuff about them like usual. I guess not? I've been posting a lot about the fankids recently, is that it? Those don't count as burningcheese posts? Haha

But yeah uh I'm sorry if I've given that impression. This ship is still infecting my brain all day every day dont worry haha. I guess i just. I haven't been doing well recently. Nothing to do with internet drama or anything I don't care about that. I've been facing a lot of genuine hardship irl. and i guess it's starting to show on here? Maybe? I'm not really sure. In any case i do apologize if it seems like I'm losing interest or anything like that. Promise I'm not. I'm always thinking about them lol they're a plague. They're a curse. Devsisters owes me reparations at this point. Or rent money for the space in my brain they've been squatting in. Tenant's rights don't exist in my mindscape, they're in big trouble

[dfroggofarson]

Your room is dark and still. It is well past midnight, the slow muffles of the city coming inside through your half-opened window only lulls you more into your dreams.

But not the man sitting in your chair.

You jolt awake, eyes runnig around your room, and your uneasiness becomes justified as soon as you meet with the hazel eyes fixed on your form.

"What the...?!" You panic even more when you realize who's eyes you're looking into.

Kento Nanami sits in your chair in the corner of your bedroom, all leaned back, legs crossed, fingers intertwined in his lap. Your breathing is ragged, you're feeling transparent, see-though and bare - you are just in your pajamas.

So many questions flood through your head, but you don't start yelling.

No, not when it's him.

"Nanami, why... why are you here?"

You instinctively tighten the blanket around you when he moves. He stands up slowly, straightens his suit, and makes his way to your bed. You want to run, scream for help, but his gaze mortifies you.

Nanami sits on the edge of your bed, just inches away from you, and slowly reaches out. You want to pull away, but before you could do that, he grabs your face in a flash. He is not violent, doesn't squeeze your cheeks at all, just holds it.

If you weren't terrified to your core, you would have said that in his eyes, you saw love.

But you aren't going to mistake it for obsession.

He tilts his head, still not letting go of your face. He, instead, starts carressing your skin with his thumb. "You have no idea how beautiful you are. The things I would do for you..." He trails off, getting lost in thoughts you knew no way in hell were healthy.

"Nanami..." you begin, but stop again when his eyes meet yours.

You only realize there is something splattered across his face when you look closer.

Your blood runs cold.

"Nanami, what happened?" You ask, and hope to God it was just some syrup or anything else than what you know suspect is on him.

He humms in question, then reaches for his face. He smudges the liquid and looks at his hands. "Ah, sorry, sweetheart. Had some business to tend to before I came to see you."

You watch in horror as he licks the blood off his thumb, then frowns. "Yours is so much more tasty."

He tries to reach for your face again, expression still firm and cold, but you grab his palm mid-air. He watches as you set it back on his thigh. "Nanami. Why don't we talk about this in the morning? I'm really tired now."

You want nothing more than to have him out of your room, your whole life, but you are alone in your apartment in the middle of the night, with your phone out of reach. And you know well how he gets when something upsets him. So instead, you yawn, pretending to be sleepy - in truth, your heart is racing, nerves just a move away from snapping. But you give him a small smile you know he'll notice despite the dark.

Nanami blinks, then snickers (which sounds more like a scoff). "Sorry, I got ahead of myself. I know you like your sleeping hours undisturbed," you almost sigh in relief when he stands up from your bed. "Then I'll meet you in a few hours. I'll get you some coffe and a croissant."

"Okay," you just reply, and fake a yawn again.

"Good night then, sweetheart," he waves you goodbye, but before exiting your room, hand already on the handle, he stops. "I can see right through you, love. You don't have to go around lying to me all the time."

You freeze again, and he turns to face you this time.

His stare is gravely sharp.

"Don't lie to me."

A second later, the door closes, and you don't dare to collapse onto the bed and start sobbing until you're sure he's out of your apartment.

You have no idea he's still standing outside your bedroom door.

I realized I only post CB and random shitposts, which is not cool. evil!Nanami has been bugging me for exactly three days, so inspired by Erika Lundmoen's song Yad, I wrote this little thing. Do you like it?

Read chapter one of I want it All here >>

dividers by @strangergraphics and @cursed-carmine

[ssentimentals]

Hi honey, first I want to congratulate you on your 1.8k! ♡ Next, I want to ask you for number 11 with Seungcheol and angsty. But could I add anything else? Something like Cheol doesn't want to sleep alone in the bed because he's gotten used to sleeping with you, and also, the bed smells like you. Thank you so much ♡

hi, dear! thank you soo much 💜 of course you can add it, i'm always happy when you guys make your request specific, at least that way i have more hope that you'll like it in the end :') thank you for requesting!

prompt: 'i'm not letting you sleep on the couch in your own house'

'i swear to god, seungcheol, one more word and i am getting out of here.'

seungcheol stills. it stings; the fact that you're so mad at him that you better leave your own house than stay here with him stings, but he knows he deserves it. the truth is, seungcheol is just as lost at the whole 'we will figure out this life together' shit as you are and sometimes he trips and makes mistakes and falls.

'go,' you say in a tired voice. all your anger faded away and you look so fragile that his heart squeezes. 'i can't be in the same room with you.'

these words are horrible. the way they hurt him make seungcheol wonder how bad he fucked up, how irreversible the damage is; has he lost you? for good? 'don't do it,' he croaks out. 'let's talk this out-'

'i don't want to talk anymore,' you interrupt, shaking your head. 'i am not breaking up with you, but i am telling you that i am done for tonight, alright? and if you won't leave then i will do it myself.'

without saying anything else you grab your pillow, blanket and storm past him to the living room. seungcheol turns and watches as you throw everything on the couch, seemingly ready to sleep there. he turns back and stares at the bed in the middle of the room like on a foreign subject - what he is supposed to do with it? he can't sleep alone anymore, not after he got together with you. so many months of falling asleep and waking up with you in his arms spoiled him, he can't possibly get on the bed without you. why would he? any bed in the world is made for you two, not for him only. and it hurts - the notion of you not wanting to share the bed with him, not wanting to stay in the same room with him - it hurts. seungcheol's throat tightens as he tries not to lose his mind. with slow steps he goes to the living room, where you're tossing and turning in futile attempts to get comfortable.

'i'm not letting you sleep on the couch in your own house', he says, stopping two steps away from you. 'please go to bed. i will leave, but please go to bed.'

you turn, eyeing him with a frown. seungcheol sighs, squatting until his face is right in front of yours. he grips the edge of the blanket, looking at you with regret: 'i'm sorry for being such a mess.'

seungcheol can add many more things. he can add how he never ever wanted to hurt you, how life without you is a life with no light or love, how he will kneel and beg for your forgiveness if he knew it'd help. you stare at him in silence before muttering: 'why are you acting like we're breaking up?'

'because it feels like it,' seungcheol lets out shakily.

you sigh, sitting up. you are not even close to forgiving him, but you can't let him think that this is it. 'i told you that we're not breaking up, cheol. i just-'

'i can't sleep without you,' he says, looking up. 'i can't- it's wrong. it's so wrong.'

when your hand wraps around his, seungcheol's breath halters. his eyes glimmer with hope as he looks at you. 'you, big baby. let's go to bed then.' you stand up, grabbing your pillow. 'i'm still mad though.'

seungcheol grabs your blanket and follows you to the bedroom, holding his breath. 'we will talk tomorrow?' he asks hopefully, hovering by the edge of the bed, not getting in.

you nod and smile weakly. 'yeah, cheollie. we will talk tomorrow.' you pat the space next to you. 'get in now.'

when seungcheol cautiously wraps his arms around you and your body goes lax, leaning on his, he finally breathes again.

a/n: i hope you liked it!! very random, but cheol is one of the easiest members to write these kinds of scenes for, idk why :D - nini

my other seventeen works are here

request your own here

[the-dormant-ocean]

MC wants to send nudes to Sylus while he's at work to make him come home faster. But for some reason, she doesn't like the results of the photo she took. She ends up asking Zayne for help.

"How do you want me to help?"

"Can you be my photographer? I don't like the pictures I took."

"Sure, but what's wrong with yours?"

"I don't know! That's the issue. Can you give me your opinion on them, please?"

They go through the photos and discuss how they could maybe improve them, like scientists studying an experiment. It's odd, she is completely naked during this conversation, but the situation is so comical that it's fun.

"Wait, I have an idea. Pardon me."

Before MC can say anything, he lifts her up by the back of her thighs and plops her down on the bathroom counter. Heat radiates through her at how easy it was and how gentle he was. The marble counter is cold underneath her.

"Do you want me to-"

She starts spreading her legs but Zayne stops her.

"It's a good idea but it's not what I'm going for. Put one of your feet on the edge of the counter. Here."

"But like that you can't see my-"

"I know that's not what this is about. Lean back a little on your hands and there. Perfect."

"Really? It looks good?"

She can't really see the appeal compared to the other more revealing and seductive poses she did.

"Yes. You sat like this before. It was after the first night we all shared together. You were stunning. You look stunning."

Zayne isn't the type to wax poetry, but his compliments never fail to move her as they are said with utmost sincerity and love. He calls her beautiful like it's a fact that no one can disprove. She smiles, touched by the compliment, and Zayne uses the opportunity to take the picture.

"Verdict? Is it better than mine?"

"Yours were good. I think this one is just more you."

Zayne looks down at this picture of her adoringly and wantonly. He shows it to her and it does feel more natural and like her. She's looking at Zayne, behind the camera, in the picture. She is smiling at him, and is that what she looks like in love? She looks at Zayne's reflection in the mirror behind her and he's wearing the exact same expression. He is right. This photo is perfect.

"I love it. It feels really sweet and domestic but still sexy. It does suit me better."

"I love it too."

She watches proudly as Zayne sends the picture to himself with her phone before sending it to Sylus.

"Ah, sorry. Maybe you wanted to add text to the picture."

"It's fine, I'll send another text. Here, give me."

She goes for a casual and innocent tone, as if she were sending him a normal photo.

"Got bored and decided to send you a gift with Zayne's help! Isn't he an amazing photographer? I think I'm going to officially hire him as my photographer from now on! We miss you! Can't wait to see you!"

She knows Zayne isn't the type to take nudes of himself. So his presence in one of hers is really going to get Sylus all hot and bothered. And he looks hot in that photo as well. Sylus is 100% going to leave work early. She's a genius!

[hikawilla]

Notes: Events take place in 7 books Characters: baby!Lilia, fem!reader May be part 1

Your eyes slowly opened. Colored spots danced before your eyes, and after blinking a couple of times to restore your vision, you slowly got up from the ground. Your head was buzzing, and your body ached.

More or less coming to your senses, you looked around and realized that you were in the forest, all alone. Panic began to engulf you, but you struggled to pull yourself together. "First, I need to understand how I ended up here," your inner voice said. Images from the recent past flashed in your mind: there you were, Grim, Silver, and Sebek, together in camp with General Lilia and Sebek's grandfather. The next frame - liquid darkness appeared out of nowhere. The next scene - you were being sucked into that very darkness, and a familiar hand in a green glove reached out to you, and then - emptiness. "I fell into a deep sleep, but I still realize that I am in a dream. Why? And most importantly - whose dream am I in?" - thoughts raced through your head.

You didn't know how to act correctly: on one hand, to sit here and wait for help, or to go search for the master of the dream. Both options had many drawbacks, and Silver's words about not straying from the master of the dream still lingered in your mind. You didn't know what the right choice was.

"You've woken up," a child's voice suddenly sounded from the side. Startled, you quickly turned your head toward the voice. In front of you stood a small boy. He was little and thin, his clothes were dirty, torn, and hung on him, while his dirty, long black hair, covering his eyes, was tangled and matted. "Did someone pull his hair? Poor thing," a thought flashed through your mind. Then your eyes saw a familiar lilac color.

“Lilia!?” your voice suddenly rang out, and the little boy recoiled. “No-no! I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you,” you quickly spoke, but the boy had already jumped into the bushes. “Please, wait! I won't harm you!” - but your voice went unheard. “Well done!” you sarcastically praised yourself, and something flew out of the bushes. “Eat,” you looked in surprise at the bushes from where the voice came. A sense of calm washed over you; you were glad that Lilia hadn’t left you. “I guess I was pulled into a deeper sleep of Lilia’s, but why here?” you pondered to yourself.

“Don’t you need it yourself?” you asked. You decided not to move and to stay in place so as not to scare the boy even more. You hoped that little Lilia would see that you were not dangerous and would come out from his safe spot. “People are dying from hunger. You need it more!” Lilia's voice carried a strictness, but the tone was unusually high. The voice of little Lilia sounded like the squeak of a bat. “Ironically,” you thought and snorted with laughter. “Don’t laugh! Just eat!” Lilia's voice showed impatience and some resentment. You shook your head: yes, this is really a little version of the general. “You saved me. It’s not right to eat food without a savior. Come out, and let’s share the food equally,” you said confidently, hoping that Lilia wouldn’t think you too bold and wouldn’t run away.

"I don't need this," - after these words, Lilia's stomach growled. You smiled sadly and waited for Lilia's next actions. A minute later, the bushes rustled, and Lilia emerged from them. His cheeks were puffed out, clearly not liking that his weakness had been seen. He approached the dirty ball, which looked more like an oval, picked it up, and came closer to you, but stopped a couple of steps away. "Doesn't trust. Better to be more restrained so he doesn't think I want to harm him," - you thought, took a small step back, and slowly knelt down, deciding to hide your hands behind your back. Lilia's face relaxed a little, and his shoulders dropped.

"Thank you for taking care of me when I was unconscious," hearing the gratitude, Lilia's cheeks turned red.

“Don't. Let's eat,” Lilia said sadly, as if he felt he didn't deserve your gratitude. You pursed your lips and nodded. Little hands of Lilia divided the food, he reached out to you with a portion, and you carefully took a piece from his hands. Out of the corner of your eye, you noticed that Lilia's portion was smaller than yours. “Lilia, why? You need it more,” your hand started to tremble, but you quickly composed yourself and pretended to eat while secretly hiding the piece of food under your coat. “If Lilia gets hungry, I'll give it to him, and let him eat it,” you thought. “Where do you know my name from?” Lilia asked. You looked up at him and saw Lilia staring at you intently. “First of all, thank you for sharing your food. Secondly, you look a lot like my… friend… He is older than you, but you have the same beautiful eyes,” Lilia's cheeks turned red, probably this was his first compliment.

The relationship between you and Lilia was hard to call friendly; rather, your relationship resembled a swing. At one moment, Lilia was playful, shamelessly flirting with you, and could suddenly do something romantic, while at another, he treated you like a good acquaintance. At first, you thought it was just Lilia's character, but after entering Lilia's dream, where he was a general… You became even more confused. As soon as you and your friends joined Lilia, he started looking after the four of you, but it seemed to you that Lilia paid more attention to you than to the others. After every battle, Lilia would ask if you were hurt, even though you were in cover. He always helped you over obstacles, even when you could do it yourself. His voice and touch seemed softer with you than when he did the same with others. You attributed everything to your infatuated heart and tried to listen to your rational mind. After all, you were the only girl, and without magic, and you didn't really know how to fight.

“Friend, right?,” a quiet voice of Lilia pulled you out of your thoughts. You scolded yourself: you had no right to feel sorry for yourself and your foolish, lovesick heart when little Lilia had it a thousand times harder.

“Lilia, I'm sorry for imposing. But could you take me to the city?” - you hoped that they would help Lilia in the city. Maybe he would be well-fed, washed, and dressed in more decent clothes.

“No! The fairies in the cities aren’t very good… The queen is better, well, that’s what I’ve heard. I can take you there, but after that, you’re on your own. Understood?” - said Lilia and looked at his dirty hands.

“Okay, thank you, Lilia,” - you smiled and reached out your hand to stand up together and go, but Lilia looked at it somewhat distantly, got up, and said: “Let’s go.”

[wishing-on-a-staranise]

Driving lesson.

(best friend!s.h. x gn!reader)

summary: Your best friend Steve offered to teach you driving but the lesson led to him learning a bit more about you.

warning: use of y/n, best friend!Steve (can be interpreted as either platonic or romantic), hurt/comfort, mention of past sa when r was a minor, quite possibly inaccurate description of cars

word count: 2k+

a/n: oops we're getting vulnerable! I'm so sorry to anyone who relates to this, wish I could hug y'all <3

this was almost going to be in my desi!reader series but i changed my mind. Havent been able to get any sort of writing done so i consider this a win. 

bro i dont know shit about cars and im also guessing how miles work so sorry if this doesn't make sense :( I spent way too long trying to figure out what the oh shit bar is actually called and let me tell u grab handles is an awful name

masterlist

the neighborhood is practically empty this time around save for the occasional person every now and then. but Steve reckons this is as safe as it gets.

he's not in his usual driver's seat, right now it's occupied by you. you're grinning a little, excited and nervous. he's helped adjust the seat so it is more comfortable for you, with the seat pulled much closer to the steering wheel. you'd already put your seatbelt on and adjusted the rearview mirror atleast four times already. 

it was your suggestion. you had pointed out that he must get really tired always driving everyone around. And although he wouldn’t say that he was tired, but he wouldn’t mind someone sharing the responsibility with him every now and then. 

You’d told him that you were already aware of all the basics– the accelerator, the break, the clutch, the gears, the entire thing.

“wait, how do you know all that?”

“I tried learning at around 16 but… i gave up”, you'd shrugged.

“yeah, that does sounds exactly like you”, he'd teased with his signature smirk.

“ha. ha. fuck you”, you deadpanned smacking his bicep before you both fell into giggles.

He decides to still tell you everything from the start. “Because I don't trust you.” And you proceeded to roll your eyes through it all. 

By the time he actually let you turn the ignition, an hour had already passed. 

Though the shifting of gears is a little janky, and the way you push the brakes has him grabbing the 'oh shit' bar beside him. He has to admit, you are not too bad.

“How am I doing?” you ask about a few minutes in, glancing at him once before your eyes fall back on the road.

he makes a sort of 'meh' sound, “Not awful”

“Should I shift to the third?”

“Sure”, he shrugs. but all that non-chalance fades away when your hand moves to the gear, “now, lift the clutch slowly”, he warns.

you suppress the urge to fully give him a glare and rolling your eyes again, “I know”

he clicks his tongue, “Do you?”

“don't tempt me to crash this car, harrington", you threaten jokingly before shifting the gear.

“Hmm,” he hums as if surprised at the smoothness of the action, and you can't help but grin in pride, “not bad this time”

a few minutes pass and Steve can tell you're getting confident, maybe too confident. You're nearing a 40mph. which first, is too fast for where you're driving and second, youre not good at controlling the car at this speed yet. and you're not awful, but you're not amazing either, “Easy buddy, slow down, you’re swaying”, his hand flies to the steering to adjust.

“shit– “, you readjust your grip, knuckles tightening around the wheel, “Ok, ok, i got it.” you lift your foot from the accelerator and the car slows down to a speed that doesn't give Steve severe heart palpitations. 

he sighs as his grip finally loosens as his palm slips down to your knee, squeezing to still reassure and ground you, “Lets not go more than 35 for now.” he doesn't notice you stiffen underneath his palm.

“you're swaying again”, you hear him say as his other hand moves to readjust. his left hand still on your knee. but it all sounds so far away. 

your throat dries up, you gulp. fingers tighten around the steering wheel so hard they hurt.

you know it's not him. this is Steve. your best friend, Steve Harrington. but suddenly this is all too similar. and you freeze up.

you two have been way closer than this. you've given each other spine crushing hugs, piggyback rides, even literally play fought, but for some reason the hand on the knee is too close. too much.

your heart plummets and you can't fucking breathe.

and you know Steve would not mean it that way. you know Steve like the back of your hand. He’d never hurt you. He'd never hurt anyone. you try to push it away, you really do. But it consumes you. all of you. because wasn't he also never supposed to hurt you?

and suddenly you're alone in a car with a man you were supposed to trust. and though his hand stays on your knees, suddenly you feel a phantom touch riding up your thighs and suddenly you're 16 again. and suddenly you know nothing. 

“Can you move your hand?”, your words come out all rushed, your brain barely even registering that you said anything.

with his eyes still on the road ahead of you two, he realigns the car, “I'm adjusting the–”

you don't even realise that you're not even looking at the road anymore, you're not looking at Steve either. you don't know where you're looking, all that exists is the hand on your knees and that sinking feeling, “move your hand Steve–”

“hey woah, WOAH!” it's Steve shouting that finally pulls you out of your stupor and when you look up, you find the car actively veering towards a tree, “LOOK OUT!”, he pulls up the manual handbreak, your own feet slamming down on the brakes as well as the vehicle comes to a screeching halt.

it's quiet. 

your eyes start stinging. and it's not because your almost crashed the car.

you can't breathe, you can't fucking breathe. you need to leave, you need to–

“jesus, what are you doing? we could've crashed into the–” you unfasten your seatbelt before scrambling to get out of the car as Steve calls after you, “hey, wh– where are you–?” with shaky hands, you slam the door behind you.

Steve's brows scrunch before he runs his hand through his hair. he watches as you pace by the sidewalk. he turns off the car before he glances at you again and he finds you sitting under the same tree you almost crashed into with your head in your palms.

when he climbs out of the car and comes closer to you, he hears the muffled sound of you hyperventilating through your hands.

gravel crunches under his shoes as he makes his way to you.

“hey”, he starts, unsure, lightly tapping your shoe with his to make you look up at him. You take one last deep breath in before swiping the back of your hand across your face but it does nothing to hide your tear stained cheeks. You still don’t look up at him though, your red eyes trained on his shoe that had tapped yours. 

he lets out a sigh himself before sitting down by the roots of the tree beside you. you wrap your arms around his knees. it's quiet for a while that way with the leaves rustling in the wind above you, chirping of a bird and your sniffles that you try your best to quiet down. Steve nudges you with his shoulder when you have quieted down, “I'm sorry, I shouldn't have shouted. but you gotta keep your eyes on the road okay?”

you nod meekly, “okay”, the word comes out thick.

“hey, c’mere”, he tries shifting to engulf you in one of his warm hugs. and any other moment you would've welcomed that warmth with literal open arms but right now, you're afraid it'd suffocate you so you get up.

“... can we…”, you lick your lips, still stiff, still avoiding his gaze, “can you drop me home? please?”

he gets up as well, brushing dirt off his jeans, trying to catch your gaze but when he couldn't, he nods, “yeah, yeah sure.”

the drive back is silent, you wordlessly sit on the backseat. throughout steve tries to meet your eyes through the rearview mirror only to find your eyes trained either down on your lap or out the window.

when he stops in your driveway, he finally breaks the silence, “we're here.”

you only sniffle in response before stepping out of the car. he has his window rolled down when you shut the car door.

“hey, are you okay?” he asks unsure.

“yeah-", you clear your throat, turning around and your gaze finally meeting his. your eyes aren't red anymore but they still look puffy and if he didn't know you as well as he did, he would notice that you're trying to put on a smile, "yeah I'm okay.. just–”

“what happened back there?”

“nothing, I got too nervous", you shake your head. not knowing what to do with your hands, they fidget with your sleeves, "I think I'll stay away from driving”

“you're fine, it was a one time thing. you didn't mean for it to happen–”

“i wasn't looking at the road”

“trust me, I've done a lot worse, while driving this thing”

“ew”

“what? I didn't even say anything, you're minds in the gutter, bud." he says lightly to soothe your puffy eyes. his finger drums against the steering, "'ll see you later, yeah?”

you nod your head quick, offering another unsure but genuine smile, "mhm, movie night tomorrow?”

“yeah.”

…

it's been nearly a week since that driving lesson. it's also been as long as you've abandoned your designated front passenger seat. 

everything else is the same, you still laugh at his jokes so hard you tear up, lean on him when watching a movie. have movie nights at his place. he still picks you up from work. you still give him snacks for his shift. everything is the same. except you have given up your unofficially default seat. if the car is packed with the party and robin, you take the back seat but even if it's just the two of you, you still take the back seat. 

Steve doesn't know how to bring it up. but he has to. he doesn't know what's going on with you but he knows you all too well. he knows how you are when something is bothering you. he just doesn't know how to bring it up.

“i was thinking..”, he starts as you two walked around your neighborhood.

“that's never good”, you chuckle, kicking a pebble as you walk.

“yknow, I'll be free after work tomorrow. maybe we can, yknow do that driving lesson?”

you stiffen up beside him before stopping in your track. “Steve, I told you–”

“did I do something?” he questions, stopping as well.

“what? …no-”

"is it because I shouted?”

“no, you were right, I almost crashed the car”

“I don't care. you made one mistake, that doesn't mean you've fucked up forever. you wanted to learn”

“yeah, and– and now I don't”

“why?”

“I–”

“give me a reason, any reason”

“I don't know”

“why don't you sit on the front seat anymore?”

“I–", you start but stop when your voice cracks. fuck, why is this getting to you so much lately? it's been fucking ages. “I don't know”, you complete your sentence, frustrated, before sitting on the curb near your house.

you're looking down at your nails, picking at the skin with your legs splayed out in front of you when steve wordlessly sits beside you. you sniffle, “I'm sorry”, murmuring as you put your head on his shoulder.

he tries to put a reassuring hand on your knees but you tense up again. you almost squirm away from his warm palm before taking it in your hand instead.

you have to tell him. you know you should. you should tell someone. doesn't matter how long ago it happened.

it's like a lump stuck in your throat, can't swallow it, can't cough it out.

But you have to start. where do you even start?

“I... I don't like that”, you say, eyes still trained down.

“oh”, you wonder if you should say more, if you should tell him, hell, you're surprised it took so long in your friendship for it to come up.

you lick your lips, wondering if you should explain more. "when I was 16--" but the lump in your throat stays persistent, your tongue tied. you blink back tears, biting your lips.

in the way he holds you at this moment, you wonder if he just knows somehow, whatever it is that is in your mind. maybe not the details or maybe not even your situation but he knows you're hurting. somehow he just knows.

“M’sorry”, you say again, burying your nose into the crook of his neck.

“no, no– is– is this okay?” he carefully moves to hug you.

“yes”, you say quickly before wrapping your arms around him as well. you sniffle again, “sorry, I don't know why I…”

“it's okay, you're okay”, his warm palm rubs your back as he holds you as if he's protecting you from any further harm. your fists clutch the fabric of his polo shirt, you're fucking shaking in his arms.

“y/n, you could've told me”

“it-it's not that easy”, you stutter out.

“well… I'm glad you've told me now”

you nod, trying your best to gulp down anymore sobs, “I might never learn how to drive.”

“that's okay, I'll drive you. wherever you need to go, I'll drive you”

…

[allthingsfangirl101]

Not Impressed – Tyler Owens

"Explain to me why we drove forty minutes to see a group of storm chasers?" I asked as we finally got out of the car. I instantly stretched, trying to get any relief for my back.

"Only because they are the best!" My friend, Lily, giggled.

"You mean, the hottest," I corrected, sending her a knowing look.

"Tyler Owens is GORGEOUS!" Mandy sighed dramatically.

"Yeah," I scoffed. "And will most likely die, chasing a damn weather report."

"I know how you feel about. . ."

"Don't," I cut off Jess. "You pestered me for days to come here. I'm here. That doesn't mean I have to hop on the same hopeless bandwagon and goo and gaw over these guys."

"You can at least enjoy how sexy Tyler looks," Mandy smirked.

"For the time being," I mumbled under my breath.

Luckily, I was saved by the over-the-top truck and RV pulling into the rest stop/gas station. I honestly had no idea how my friends knew that the YouTube-famous Tornado Wranglers would stop here. These guys may be good at tracking national disasters, but my friends were good at tracking people.

I couldn't help but roll my eyes as my friends started screaming and excitedly jumping up and down. I could only handle their fangirling for so long. To save myself from second-hand embarrassment, I turned on my heel and headed into the gas station.

I absent-mindedly roamed around, grabbing a few snacks and drinks. I checked out and let out a disappointed sigh when I saw my friends still shamelessly flirting with the Tornado Wranglers.

I walked over to the picnic tables and slowly ate some of the snacks. A lot more time passed. I finished the snacks, but stayed at the picnic table. I knew my friends would come and find me when they were ready to leave.

"Hiya, darling."

I looked up from my phone to see the head storm chaser smirking at me. I smiled politely at him before turning my attention back to my phone.

"I'm Tyler," he introduced himself.

"I know," I shrugged, not looking up from my phone.

"Would you like a picture?" He asked, clearly fishing. "Or a signature? Or a shirt?"

I looked up at him with no amusement on my face. "What makes you think I'm here for you?"

"Well. . . You're here and. . ."

"My friends wanted to see you," I clarified as I stood up and threw my trash away in a nearby trash can. "I, unfortunately, was dragged along."

"Unfortunately," he repeated, clearly surprised. "So you're not. . ."

"Impressed that you chase after tornadoes instead of doing something worthwhile with your life?" I taunted. "No, not at all."

* * * * *

I walked out of the motel office and sighed when I saw that tornado chaser and his friends talking in the parking lot. I quickened my step, hoping to go unnoticed.

It didn't work.

"Well, if it isn't Ms. Not Impressed."

"If it isn't Mr. Trying To Kill Himself," I shot back as I kept walking.

"Whoa," he stuttered. "That seems a bit harsh."

I was hoping he'd give up as I jogged up the stairs, but he didn't. "At least tell me your name!" He called after me.

I stopped walking and crossed my arms over my chest. "Why?"

"So I don't have to keep calling you boring nicknames," he tried to flirt. He tried to pout to get me to give in, but it didn't work. What did work was me realizing that he would probably follow me to my room if I didn't tell him.

"Y/N," I said before walking away.

"Now, was that so hard?" He asked as he chased after me.

"It was painful," I mumbled. He started walking with me and kept looking at me as he got closer.

"I'm Tyler," he reminded me.

"Congratulations," I scoffed.

"What's with you?"

I stopped walking and turned toward him. He cleared his throat as he apologized. "I'm sorry. I just. . . I'm not used to women not fawning all over me."

"Hopefully, you've learned something from it."

"Why aren't you swooning?" He asked.

"Seriously?" I scoffed. "Does it matter?"

"Actually," he said, slightly clearing his throat, "it does."

"It's simple," I sighed. "I'm not into your type."

"My type?"

"Adreneline junkies."

"I wouldn't consider myself an adrenenline junkie," he stuttered.

"Adreneline junkies only care about one thing," I scoffed. "The next big chase or jump or whatever. They don't care about the people in their lives. They would happily die chasing the next big thing, not giving a damn about the person they leave behind."

I turned around and started to walk away.

"Wait!" He yelled, chasing after me.

"No," I spun toward him, catching him by surprise. "I will not wait. You know something, Tornado Wrangler, I've been here before. I used to be in love with an adrenaline junkie just like you. And guess what? The adrenaline won. And I had to bury him."

"Oh," he said under his breath. "Y/N. . . I'm sorry. Maybe we could. . ."

"No," I cut him off. "You seem like a decent guy, but I am not getting my heart broken by another adrenaline junkie."

Part 2 Coming Soon

[rekino2114]

Can you do prompt 34 and 31 with fami and Asa/yoru

Ways the csm 2 girls tell you they're in the mood/NSFW headcanons

A/n:.....ok so basically I was writing prompt 34 and it just kinda.....got out of hand and I started writing straight up NSFW headcanons I had in mind for the girls cause I realized the post would have been too short otherwise...so I just added NSFW headcanons to prompt 34 cause.....yeah

for all of those who asked me how suggestive my posts can be....I think this is the limit

I don't know if I'll do prompt 31 too request again if you want me too and also I don't know which fami you wanted since this was requested after the reveal so I just did both of them......that's definitely not an excuse to add death who I am very down bad for

A lot of NSFW stuff below

Everyone involved is over 18

Asa mitaka/yoru

Asa is so awkward even at asking for simple affection, so she will almost never ask for sex even when she wants to.......meanwhile yoru will take you wherever and whenever she wants

Whenever asa's body starts feeling hot, both of them can feel it, and yoru will continue pestering asa until she asks you to fuck or just take over and start making out with you and stripping while asa yells in jealousy from inside her

It's funny how different they are, too, cause asa is very vanilla and likes to take her time and is, in general, a very gentle lover in that way.....meanwhile yoru is pretty rough most of the time and is into some very kinky stuff (definitely knife play and the like) only if you're OK with it too of course

Ok.......so how does sex with both of them work exactly? Do you think they switch in the middle or do they have like turns, like one night it's asa's time and the next one it's yoru's? Cause if they do I'm sure as hell yoru isn't following the schedule and randomly takes over during asa's turn just cause she wanted to have you to herself

Also, does the one who isn't in control of the body in the moment just...watch? And does it leave her pissed off that her other persona is having fun with her lover....or is she turned on by that? I feel like it's a mix of both, even if yoru will continue screaming until asa lets her have her turn.....even if it's not

Fami

Take everything I said about asa and multiply it by 100. This girl is soooo nervous and anxious about anything and everything. she was sweating bullets and insanely red in the face the first time you held hands. Imagine how she is during intimacy

The first time you asked her to have sex she genuinely had a nosebleed imagining the scene and fainted....when she woke up and you told her why she fainted.......she fainted again.....look she just needs a loooot of time to mentally prepare herself

Whenever she gets in the mood she actually prefers to relieve herself (usually using pictures of you) so she doesn't have to go through the embarrassment of asking you for help, but she genuinely thinks she'd self combust out or awkwardness if you walked in on her....which is a bigger problem than you might think cause she moans a lot and is generally very loud during intimacy

I'm sorry to say this but she's the bottomest bottom ever. She wants you to take her and fuck her until she's screaming your name.....she's somehow both into being praised and humiliated at the same time. she also does keep crying while doing it but don't worry it's mostly tears of happiness

One of her main dirty secrets is that she's actually into you leaving hickeys on her and claiming her, even if she always covers them and blushes whenever someone asks about them she likes the thought of everyone knowing she's yours

Death

Will straight up ask you "can we fuck?"

The thing about death is that she doesn't have any shame....like at all, she thinks sex between you is a completely normal and natural part of of your love life so there's no issues if she starts saying how good what you did last night felt or everything she wants to do to you that evening right?

Death actually doesn't get horny that often, so the times she actually asks you to have sex aren't that common but on the other end she's more than happy to take care of you whenever the mood strikes you. You could walk up to her at any time of day and any place and tell her you're feeling pent up and she will drop whatever she's doing and start pleasuring you right there and then

Speaking of pleasuring you, you cannot tell me she wouldn't give some absolutely insane head. Her two favorite things are you and tasting things you have no idea what that mouth can do. She thinks you taste amazing and will ask to use her mouth on you pretty often not because she's particularly horny she just wants to feel how good you feel in her mouth again......you have also woken up multiple times to her giving you head to "help you wake up"

For a very similar reason she really likes leaving hickeys all over your body. Not only does she think every part of you tastes amazing, but she also gets a kick out of knowing she left marks on you so that everyone knows what you did and that you're hers it's kind of the opposite of her younger sister. Of course however if you think she bites too hard or are not into it she'll stop and resort to licking you and making out with you during almost the entire experience

[milk-is-stable]

A Beautiful Thing

Summary: Based on this post by @unbelenting; Three times that someone calls Annabelle a beautiful thing.

Word Count: 1,577

Read on AO3: HERE

AN: As soon as I saw those three quotes next to each other, I was possessed by the idea for this story until I managed to excise it from my brain, I hope you all enjoy <3

— — —

"You're the most beautiful thing I've ever seen in my life." 

Annabelle froze, staring down at the man on the floor in disbelief. Usually when she threatened men, they looked at her with fear, or avoided looking at her at all, which suited her just fine. There was something about the rush of holding up an entire room full of people that made her feel invincible, and the way it made men cower away from her was such a refreshing change from the moon-eyed, overly polite treatment she was used to from the boys in town. 

Sweet Miss Annabelle Parker, isn't it such a shame about her mama, but golly if she isn't the prettiest thing you ever saw! 

Annabelle was perfectly happy to leave that behind for a few hours every time she and Butch rode out together. It was the one time that men didn't care that she was small and "delicate," didn't care that she was beautiful, didn't care that she was a She at all. When she wore a mask over her face and held a pistol in her hands, men who looked at her didn't see a woman to fawn over, they saw a nefarious robber to be feared and respected.

But this man, he was different. He saw the mask and saw the gun, and yet he stared at her as though he was dying of thirst and she was an oasis in the desert. Something about his gaze made her skin crawl, and she felt what was surely an irrational urge to shoot him in the face, if it would just stop him looking at her like that. 

"Hey partner, we need to get outta here!" Butch called, her voice shaking Annabelle free from her stupor. 

"You're the girl with the gun," the man on the floor said. 

He shifted, as though to get to his feet, and Annabelle moved on instinct. She sent a kick flying towards him, and he let out a howl of pain as the heel of her boot connected with his groin. She turned and ran, stumbling a bit as somehow the man grabbed hold of her shoe, but she shook it off and kept moving, grabbing Butch's hand as the two of them fled the scene and mounted their horses. 

"What were you doing, flirting with– I mean, talking with the hostages?" Butch asked, and Annabelle shook her head. 

"I don't know! That man, he said he'd seen me before, and called me the girl with the gun."

"There they are! Stop them!" a voice shouted, and Butch dug her spurs into her horse's sides. 

"GO, GO, GO, GO, GO!" she shouted as they took off in a gallop.

"It was so weird, what he was sayin'!" Annabelle called over the wind. "It just made me freeze, alright? I'm sorry!"

"It's fine, that don't matter now!" Butch said. "Just keep goin', and don't slow down for no one!" 

They rode as hard as they could, but when Annabelle glanced behind them she saw a pair of horses off in the distance, slowly gaining on them. 

"Shit, they're still following!" she exclaimed, doing her best to spur her horse forward with only one boot on. "They'll catch us at this rate!" 

"Split up!" Butch suggested. "You head east and take the long road home to your daddy's, I'll keep heading south and try to lose them in the hills!" 

"Alright..." Annabelle agreed. "Butch, I-"

"No time to talk now, GO!" Butch shouted, and Annabelle reluctantly steered her horse away.

As she rode, she tried to focus on the feeling of the wind in her face, the rhythm of her horse's gallop beneath her, the warmth of the late afternoon sun on her neck, anything to forget the look on the man from the bank's face.

It doesn't matter, she told herself. I won't ever go back to that city, and I won't ever see him again. It's fine.

But no matter what she told herself and no matter how fast she rode, the feeling of his gaze clung to her like sweat in the August heat, and she couldn't help but shudder.

— — — 

"You are the most beautiful thing that I've ever seen in this world." 

Annabelle rolled her eyes and looked down, picking at her fingernails. 

"Oh, every daddy has to say that to his daughter, it's like the fucking law or somethin'," she said.

"That may be true," her daddy said, and he reached out, placing a hand on her shoulder. "That may be true. But it doesn't mean I don't mean it, sweetheart."

Annabelle looked up to see him smiling at her, his eyes soft and fond. She was struck suddenly with a memory, from nearly ten years ago now. She had tried to play with a group of boys in the schoolyard, but they'd refused to let her join unless she agreed to be a princess in a tower for them to rescue. She'd run home crying, and her daddy had swept her up in his arms and planted a kiss on her forehead, and told her that she could be anything she wanted to be and that any boy who didn't let her wasn't worth the mud on the bottom of her boots. 

Her daddy reached out and cupped her face, pulling her back to the present. 

"If Butch doesn't look at you and see how wonderful you are, if she hears your words and doesn't feel the same way? The rejection is hard...but at the end of the day, that does not have to define you. You are still my daughter, and I will always love you no matter what, but even that doesn't make you who you are. You decide that, always." 

Annabelle swallowed a sudden lump in her throat. 

"But I...I love her so much, Daddy. If she doesn't accept my feelings, then what am I supposed to do?" 

Her daddy sighed, and ran a hand through his hair. 

"I know, sweetheart, I know. When your mother left, I did not take it well at first. But eventually I realized that things change, you know? And change is okay. It's just another opportunity to find out more of who you are. But you'll never know that if you never open up to her." 

"You're right, Daddy," Annabelle said. She took a deep breath, and gave him a shaky smile. "I need to tell Butch how I feel." 

"Yes you do," her daddy said, and he raised an eyebrow. "And then you need to stop robbing banks, young lady!"

"Alright, alright!" Annabelle said, holding up her hands. "I'll go and tell her right now." 

"Good," her daddy said, and he smiled. "And remember, no matter what she says, I'll always be here for you."

"Thanks, Daddy," said Annabelle, and she couldn't help but smile back. 

— — — 

"You are the most beautiful thing in the entire world." 

Annabelle's breath caught in her throat, and a blush rose to her cheeks. 

"Butch, I-"

"You have no idea how long I've wanted to say that," Butch continued, her voice quivering slightly. "I don't know how I kept it inside for so long." 

"Me either," Annabelle whispered. "I tried to tell you how I felt so many times, but every time I just ended up saying let's rob a bank instead." 

Butch laughed, and reached down to tuck a curl behind Annabelle's ear. 

"I mean it, you know," she said, her voice softer. She stared into Annabelle's eyes, something akin to awe on her face. "You're so beautiful."

It was not the first time Annabelle had been told that she was lovely to look at. People had been saying some variation of "you're so pretty!" since she was thirteen years old, and she had learned to accept the words with a demure smile and a nod, carefully sidestepping any and all men who attempted to use the compliments as the start of something more. If she was honest with herself, she'd slowly come to dread any time someone drew attention to her appearance, even before today's horrible encounter with the deputy who'd tried to make her his...prize.  

But hearing those words come out of Butch's mouth was different. For the first time, Annabelle found herself wanting to hear them again. 

"Really?" she asked, smiling coyly. "What's so beautiful about me?"

"Everything," Butch said immediately. "Your eyes are bluer than the sky, your hair looks like it was spun from gold, your voice is like a choir of angels, when you smile it lights up the whole damn world, and every time I look at you I think I must have died and gone to heaven because I can't believe that I'm lucky enough to be alive in a world where I get to look at you whenever I want." 

Annabelle stared at Butch, her mouth open in shock, and Butch smirked at her. 

“Do ya want me to go on, darlin’?” she asked. “Like I said, I’ve wanted to say it for a long time. You are the most beautiful, most perfect woman in the world.” 

“Now hang on, that can’t be true,” Annabelle said, and Butch frowned. 

“Why not?” 

Annabelle smiled, and reached up, fiddling with the tie around Butch’s neck. 

“Because you’re the most perfect woman in the world,” she said. 

Butch’s face went bright red, and Annabelle couldn’t help but pull her down into a long, lingering kiss. 

[theangryhistoriananna]

Whenever people claim Lucien never cared about Feyre past her connection to Tamlin and then Elain I always wonder if we've read the same books.

Like I can think of a TON of moments that showcase, starting in ACOTAR that Lucien did care for Feyre and considered her a friend but these five especially stick out for me:

But Beron had been part of that alliance, if I correctly recalled my lessons with Rhys all those months ago. "And yet here you are, ready to march with Hybern." "I did it for you, too, you know." Cold, hard words. "I went with him to get you back." "I never realized with a powerful motivator guilt can be." [.....] I said quietly, "Thank you. For coming to Hybern to get me." He pulled at the moss beside him, jaw tight. "It was a trap. What I thought we were to do there....it did not turn out that way." -ACOWAR 30

Lucien unbuttoned his jacket but remained mostly dressed as he slid onto his sleeping roll. "I think it's worse because you two haven't....I mean, you haven't, right?" I stiffened, tugging the blanket higher onto my shoulders. "No. I don't want to be touched like that-not for a while." His silence was heavy-sad. I hated the lie, hated it for how filthy it felt to wield it. "I'm sorry" he said. And I wondered what else he was apologizing for as I faced him in the darkness of our tent. -ACOWAR 56

....It's old magic-old and strange. It's why we avoid bargains unless it's necessary: even the scholars at the Day Court don't know how it works. Believe me, I've asked." "For me-you asked them for me." "Yes. I went last winter to inquire about breaking your bargain with Rhys." "Why didn't you tell me?" "I-we didn't want to give you false hope. And we didn't dare let Rhysand get wind of what we were doing, in case he found a way to interfere. To stop it." -ACOWAR 56

Tamlin had begged my forgiveness at dinner yesterday-and I'd given it to him. But Lucien hadn't spoken to him all evening. -ACOWAR 71

I was running out of borrowed time. I could winnow, but then I'd abandon Lucien to them if he somehow couldn't manage to himself with the faebane in his system from the food at the camp- Leave him. I should and could leave him. But to a fate perhaps worse than death- His russet eye gleamed. "Go" I made my choice. -ACOWAR 91

I often seen the last one used as evidence that Feyre was a good friend to Lucien who didn't deserve it and it always flabbergasts me that people think that from that passage of all passages. That entire scene is mostly just Feyre mentally complaining because stepping in and helping Lucien (who is being SA'd when she finds him and then later is having his life and/or sanity threatened) is causing her to waste time she needs to flee. She keeps telling herself that now that Alis is gone she doesn't need to feel guilty for what happens to Spring Court-including Lucien. She only steps in to protect Lucien from Ianthe because it's Ianthe and her hatred of her is stronger than her empathy for what Lucien went through. She only steps in and decides to stay and fight the twins AFTER Lucien urges her to leave him and save herself.

Lucien again and again and again steps in and protects Feyre, gives her advice, comforts her, argues with Tamlin for her, puts himself in danger for her, gives her presents (despite not getting any in return) and proves himself to be what Rhys told Feyre later in ACOWAR: loyal to a fault.

Not just to Elain, not just to Tamlin, not just the Band of Exiles. But to her as well. To Feyre almost most of all.

and in return Feyre takes his genuine concern for her and protectiveness over her and wields it as a weapon to tear his home down and goad Tamlin into violence with little care. She takes her friend and at best considers him a tool to be used for her and Night Court's benefit and expects him to show her nothing but gratitude.

I do think Feyre loves Lucien and wants him to stay in her life, but honey Lucien was always the better friend.