#im better and I’m recovering and I want to live

[legendoftherisingtide]

as time goes on i see so much more positive mindset in the world. it feels like the world is growing out of its edgy phase, like all the 2010s dark humor is washing down the river. it feels like we as a people are healing. and if that healing is in the form of vine booms and random sound effects, i will take that over the suicidal jokes that stopped being jokes after a while.

idk stop saying “kms” or “i want to die” or any of that. it’s funny when it’s funny but when that is your immediate thought when something happens, stop and take a minute. think about why you keep saying that and really let yourself breath for a moment.

surround yourself with good things. and that includes your thought processes.

[batgirlkirb]

i wish we lived in a world that believed in good people. i get so angry when people get so fundamentally confused and scornful and defensive at the prospect of someone just being good. nice. kind.

[seventh-district]

i’m not like other girls, my “Rest” stats are a heart rate of 110bpm and a HRV of 14 fucking milliseconds. :)

[d3l3t3d-deactivated]

i’ve always been bad about getting photos of myself but i’ve been making a real effort to document my recovery from top surgery, no rhyme or reason to when i take photos it’s just kind of when i remember, but i was just looking back at everything and the way i glowed up so hard in so many ways in the span of a few months is kind of impressive

[mygnolia]

take care of him, sunghoon's sick!

or alt. the pt 2 no one asked for... LOL

pairing: sunghoon x gn!reader headcannons! | wc: 800 | cw: food, sunghoon as a SIMPPP lots of kisses and cuddling

—

sunghoon does his best not to get sick whatsoever 

he’s an athlete and a student, if he gets sick he falls behind on a LOT 

but when he saw you in his puffer jacket and a smile at his competition, ofc he had to kiss you 

you were his one and only and he loves you to death 

simphoon! 

smiling ear to ear on the drive home as you tell him how cool he always looks on the ice

he gets SHY 

wdym his baby is complimenting him profusely 

you two  make food together, and although you’re still congested, you promise sunghoon you feel much better. 

makes soup and noodles 

yes he hugs you from behind yes he rests his chin on the top of your head 

the man is 5’11 (and i’m 5’4 mmmm how perfect)

one kiss leads to another kiss and suddenly you’re giggling from the ticklish feeling and how he’s annunciating every “mwah!” 

kisses all over your face 

he snuggles with you on the couch when you eat, and actually cuddles you this time 

“Someone’s clingy,” you joke, and he buries his head in your neck. “But it’s okay. I like it.” 

hoon is all blush blush

“It’s been a long time, I missed you,” HE’S SO POUTY AND BABIE 

You two definitely fall asleep with a light on, his legs tangled with yours, his hand around your waist holding you close. 

Uh oh!

Sore throat. 

“I think you got me sick.” You apologize like crazy, rushing to make him some egg drop soup and tea

“Shhh, Hoon, go back to bed, let me take care of you” 

oh the man is WHIPPED head over HEELS he’s like omg what did I do in my past life to get someone as caring as ____ 

He’s also whiny, and kind of quiet

he is a thinker and a listener so when he’s sick, he’s even less inclined to talk or be his usual rambunctious self 

It makes you feel bad for putting your boyfriend in such a miserable position 

But he promised you it’s not your fault (even though it is) and that it’s not as bad as you think it is 

no more feeling bad! You have to make sure sunghoon recovers as quick as he can 

You separate medicine into little containers and makes sure he always leaves with warm tea, cough drops, gloves, and any medication if he needs 

You drive him whenever, 1. because he is ur passenger princess! and 2. because you don’t want him to be stuck in traffic when tired

Always Always getting him layers 

and now it’s your turn to refuse his kisses and hugs. 

“____ I want to cuddle.” 

You shake your head, a smile threatening to break your stoicism. “You’re sick, baby. You don’t want to get me sick again, do you?” 

“But I miss you :(“ oh he definitely is following you around the house like a puppy trying to get you to give him forehead kisses and that sweet sweet tlc. 

He sends you voicemails when you’re busy telling you “hi baby i’m at home still are you still coming over today?” violent coughing “i mizz u and i wuv u”

AGH so whipped for this boy im…

you come over with more soup and cuddles and love 

he falls asleep halfway through his movie and you have to check his forehead to make sure he’s not having a fever 

dishes are CLEANED everything is put away and then you go sleep on the couch

now lets say the couch is huge and there is space for two 

WELL sunghoon wakes up in the middle of the night and sees you’re not in bed :(( so he goes out to the living space with his blanket and then just falls asleep on you 

and you wake up like wtf i cannot breathe??? 

but oh it’s just hoonie bb its okay 

HES SOOOOO CUTEEE 

messy hair covering his forehead and eyes as he sleeps on your shoulder, hot breath fanning your neck 

you just stay there until the afternoon because you could not try to untangle yourself even if you tried 

but he’s better! at least he says so 

he feels a lot more energetic, is attending practice for longer periods of time and more frequently, and you see the sparkle in his eyes again 

YAYYYY BB HOON IS RECOVEREDDDDDD 

you still dote on him until he’s completely better because you truly want to make sure he’s not overworking himself

agh he WILL marry you he will put a ring on your finger and boom you two have a white picket fence and two dogs and a cat. 

—

hello it’s me ren again 🤓 mmmwah i love hoon

[chaoticace2005]

Reasons why I, Husk, will not get involved with the spider demon known as Angel: (now complimentary to Angel's list on why he wanna be fucked by BE WITH Husk)

Literally why would I? He’s so damn fake. And his movies suck. And he talks so damn much.

He’s too damn tall. What am I supposed to do? FLY to kiss him?Note: His annoying older brother is significantly shorter. But TOO short. Also not my type. Not that Angel IS my type.

Alastor wouldn’t like it (but who the fuck cares what some radio bastard thinks)

He’s decorated in hearts. IM decorated in hearts. That’s too many damn hearts.

Shedding.

Too many damn arms. Would probably be a good cuddler and I’d never get out of bed. Leading to both of us being killed by the radio demon.

He’s trying to get into heaven. I’d just mess it up.

Literally has any better option and deserves better.

He’s probably get into my stash and drink me dry.

If we’re both power bottoms at rock bottom how would that work?? (AN: this is just a joke from the song 😂 Husk may not be one)

We’re both under soul contracts. Our lives are messy enough as is.

The princess might explode from happiness.

Niffty’s gone on killing sprees against spiders in the past. Don’t want to get him tangled into that.

Don’t want him to get tangled into ANY of this

I purr around him. I am NOT a cat.

I’m stupidly soft around him. I’m NOT soft.

I’m an addict. He’s trying to recover.

He has a cute pig that eats all my damn cherries.

I don’t want to ruin whatever the fuck we DO have. He’s not his trauma, but there is trauma and I don’t want him thinking I’m using him for sex like everyone else seems to.

I lost the ability to love years ago.

Shitty ass poker face.

Drinks the fruitiest damn cocktails that are honestly an affront to bartending.

Looks TOO good in drag (looks too good in anything.)

Too good a parent to Niffty. Kid will get even more spoiled.

Would I really date someone named ANGEL DUST?

His mafioso brother would probably kill me if shit happened

Sounds too good when speaking Italian

Gives people a way to hurt us.

It's better if I'm a man with nothing to lose. (It might be too late for that now though.)

[plutonianeris]

pick a pile: how you secretly intimidate others ⛓𓌹*♰*𓌺⛓

this is a general reading & for entertainment purposes only, take what resonates and leave what doesn't. scroll through the images & choose based on your inner guidance and gut feeling. ⛓️

♱☾pile one☽

“don’t call me baby! im not your baby!”

you intimidate others with your individuality. There’s something about you that’s very weird or kind of quirky. not in the “oh im not like other gwurls 🤪” cringey way. but rather you’re kind of blunt even when you don’t mean to be other people might think that what you say is too harsh or direct. This seems to be some thing that might throw off men as well but at the same time it’s also make some desire you. That free spirit can be seen as something that other people want in their life but it’s not always with the best intentions. It’s kind of like they want you to fulfill something for them. Kind of like to conquer you in a way. But it seems like that literally never happens because instead, you’re literally a tower moment for other people in their lives.

Just by being you, you unconsciously force other people to reflect on certain things in their life. you guys people specifically to reflect on their insecurities, and also their childhood. You could find that people, especially women project onto you. they could look at you and mumble under their breath or too each other like “what the fuck is their problem” or talk about how you think you “know it all”

it seems like people are just really intimidated by your knowledge and what you have to share with other people. you might have some Aquarius placements. Whether what you share with others is topics about religion or spirituality or “taboo” subjects, other people could be thrown off by your words, while at the same time secretly want to hear more.

this pile, gave off a lot of scorpio and/or aries and/ or libra & taurus energy and 8th house/ pluto aspects energy. when I asked about qualities people associate with you I got “ regeneration, suspicion, passion, beautiful, art, experimentation, intelligent, creativity, wisdom.” 🕯️

🕸️𓆩♡𓆪🕸️ tip jar 🕸️𓆩♡𓆪🕸️

♱☾pile two☽

“no, I’m killing boys.”

people are secretly intimidated by the way you can rise from the ashes and transform completely after going through super traumatic shit. The way you seem to be able to recover from stuff that can be straight out of someone’s nightmare and manage to come out on top is inspiring but also it makes other people feel insecure. pile two, other people seem to think that you somehow just “get lucky” when something really good happens to you. People might think that you didn’t have to work that hard for it. They could secretly send you evil eye and think oh I wish that would’ve happened to me instead..

shit I’m not gonna lie I feel in awe and a little shook reading these cards describing your energy. you are literally an alchemist. You transform everything you touch and you transform after every experience with a lot of grace and harmony. lmfaoo the quote from “what? like its hard” from legally blonde popped up. The thing is that it actually is hard but you’ve been doing it for so long. There’s no other way for you to really function. You manage to continuously strengthen your spirituality over and over again.

and there’s a certain element of privacy that you also keep when it comes to your home life and the space you live in and also in regards to what you’re even thinking. It kind of leaves people in constant speculation of who you are what you actually do or where you even live. but this privacy seems necessary to you, sacred to you actually. Your personality, ego, and the way you view yourself are in a constant state of fluctuation. But never in a way that ends up being super detrimental to you. even when you “mess up” you learn something and get better.

you are someone that is very strong and I don’t wanna say that like in a corny “omg ur saiuuir strong u went through so much :(“ pity way. I literally mean just a very unique kind of perseverance within your spirit where time after time you just can’t be knocked down. And other people wonder about that, but they’re not even close to being able to dissect it & that intimidates them.

You could be someone that has a lot of 12th house or fourth house placements, as well as Jupiter, Sagittarius, or Pluto prominent in the chart. when I asked about qualities/ words that people associate with you, I got “independent, knowledgeable, transformation, roots, subconscious, potential, hope” 🔐

🕸️𓆩♡𓆪🕸️ tip jar 🕸️𓆩♡𓆪🕸️

♱☾pile three☽

“how do you feel about yourself now stupid motherfucker? you couldve had some pussy.”

people are secretly intimidated by the way you run shit. You have a very straightforward and innovative, and out of the box solution for many of the obstacles you face in life. Similar to pile 2 there is resentment in response to the way you succeed. But when it comes to you it’s more because of the way you do things. people might think “oh it’s not fair that they did it that way and won..” but in reality, you have a unique power being able to bounce back really fast from shit. you don’t mind being someone brand new every single day or changing your habits or routines, or the way you connect with people were your resources very quickly.

In fact, you’re constantly flowing in these spaces of rebirth and attatchment and security. and that intimidate people because they wonder well how is it possible that you’re changing your character and your appearance and your own self all the time and YOU dont care if people label it as a fake or weird. Like I’m not gonna lie this piles giving off someone who has such a range of random aesthetics that ppl r like seeing u as someone who dresses up or is wearing a costume when in reality you just feel transformed by your experiences so frequently.

its giving “im not the person who i was yesterday” so don’t try it today energy. it intimidates people that you’re not ashamed of changing your mind and being like “ well actually I used to like that and now I don’t like it anymore, so can you please respect the boundaries I set up now.”

you TRUST yourself. and not only does that intimidate people but it also makes them MAD. chiron aka trauma, wounds, healing, pain etc popped up, so it doesn’t mean that all your life you had this confidence or ability to listen to yourself and your intuition. If anything you suffered a lot and had a period of time (especially in childhood) were you were taught to not listen to yourself or your intuition. where you were told that if you showed leadership and willpower, and if you used your anger and embraces your anger, that bad things would happen.

But then, finally, you did and you realized that you get so much more from life when you show people how to treat you from the start. And other people want to be able to do that. And you securely inspire them to do that but it’s also a mixture of envy as well thats included in those feelings toward you. oh well. protect your peace! you could be someone that has aries, first house, 8th house and 2nd house placements. 888 also popped up if that has any significance to you. when I asked about qualities/ words that people associate with you, I got “secure, possessive, leader, warrior, loyal.”⚖️

🕸️𓆩♡𓆪🕸️ tip jar 🕸️𓆩♡𓆪🕸️

© plutonianeris 🕷

[seireitonin]

I just saw your fic/hc of if toby had kids, it's so good btw!! :3

I'm in a mischievous mood, how would he react if one of/both of the kids died? Like he took his eyes off them for one second. I feel like because they most likely live in a forest setting, it would be something like going on a lake when it's iced over and then falling through.

This is so sad omg :( but let me try my best (you really want to sob huh?😭)

Toby If His Kids Died

He’d never ever recover

He’d never ever ever EVER forgive himself

He looked away for one second

Just one

But that second is all it took

The ice was thin and his kids not knowing any better, stood on it together, falling in

Toby heard the sound of the ice breaking and the two loud splashes

He turned around as quickly as he could only to see the open hole where they once were

Trapped under the ice as Toby tried to get them out

He was too late

He pulls them out and does everything he could

CPR, shaking them softly, calling out there names

“Please…wake up…please…please…please! Talk to me! Open your eyes! Please….i need you…I love you! Your dad needs you! I’m sorry! I’m sorry!”

When they don’t respond it destroys him

He hits the ground, screams and sobs

Just truly broken

Out of everything that he’s been through in his life, this was the most painful, unbearable, heart shattering thing he’s ever been through

His world was gone in a second

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I’m so sorry! I’m sorry! I love you! I failed you! I’m so sorry”

He sobs out as he hugs them to his chest, wishing they’d hug him back, and tell him they’re okay

Their skin, freezing cold, their clothes, soaking wet

He carries them home, putting them in their beds, trying to warm them up, one last time

How was he going to face his significant other?

He meets them at the front door, falling to his knees and hugging their legs, ear piercing sobs

“They’re gone…they’re gone”

“W-what?!”

“They fell in the lake and got trapped in the ice! I was too late! I-“

He can’t continue, falling victim to his sobs

His significant other, starts to scream and sob along with him, pushing Toby off in anger

“This is your fault! This is your fucking fault!”

They’re just confused and angry and full of grief like he is

“Why weren’t you watching them?! How could you let this happen?!”

“I turned away for one second! It was a second! One second! I promise!”

“Look what it cost us! Look what you did! You destroy everything you fucking touch!”

“Please….im sorry! I’m sorry!”

He couldn’t even say that wasn’t true

Every person he loved, every person who depended on him, he’s let die

Lyra is dead. His mom was probably dead. Now…his children….are gone

He’s a failure. And everyone around him had to pay the price

His significant other, and Toby bury them on a hill, where they all had a picnic once.

They put their favorite toys on the graves, saying goodbye to their bundles of joy

Life is unfair, huh?

Toby and his partner try to stay together

But they could never look at Toby the same way

They wouldn’t look Toby in the eyes or in the face

They could only see their children in Toby’s features

Toby tried to touch them, to hold them, to comfort them

He could hear them, sobbing quietly in the night with their back turned to him

The guilt eats him alive

But they didn’t want Toby’s touch, not ever again

Their meals were silent

They exchanged minimal words

What do you say? What do you do?

They couldn’t take it anymore

They packed all their things and had one final conversation with the man they once had a life with

“Toby…”

“Please…no”

“Toby….i can’t do this anymore…. I can’t”

“Please….stay”

“I love you, Toby. But I can never forgive you.”

“Don’t…”

“Our children’s empty rooms are up there. I can’t….stay. Every where I turn….I see them. It’s like they’re haunting us. I can’t stay here, Tobias. Neither should you.”

“Please! You’re all I have left! I….please! You’re all I have left…”

“You lost me a long time ago. Goodbye. Tobias”

They were gone, just like that

It’s just Toby in this empty home

A home once filled with love and joy was now filled with grief and pain

He started to have a tic attack

And no one was here to help him through it

He sobs out again, the reality hitting him harder and harder with every passing second

With no one around

He starts to have hallucinations again

He sees the ghosts of his children, like he saw the ghost of Lyra

“Why didn’t you save us?”

“I tried! I tried! You know I…I love you!”

“Then why did you let us die?!”

“Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop!”

He started picking and chewing at his fingers, pulling his hair, hitting himself in the head

Old habits from when he was 17

He turns to alcohol

He made a promise to never be like his dad

He’s sticking to it in his own way

He can never abuse his family. He has no family

He’s often drunk most of the time now

Sometimes just so he can sleep

But even when he sleeps all he can hear is the ice breaking, the ice cold water, the last moments of his kids

Masky and Hoodie find him in his home

“Toby. You have to start coming on missions again. We can’t keep covering for you. You know what Slenderman will do to you if you don’t”

“Let him kill me. I don’t care. I died a long time ago”

He takes another swig from his bottle as he talks to them, slurring a bit

“He should’ve…let me die….when I was 25”

“You can’t even stand can you?”

“Fuck you! Fuck you!”

He starts to scream

“My family is gone! I lost my family, TWICE! You think I care about missions anymore?! You think I care about anything anymore?! Huh?! I dont give a fuck about my life!”

Masky lets out a sigh

“You know, you always were emotional. Although, I kinda miss when you were a hyper and upbeat annoying little shit. I wonder if your children were the same?”

Toby immediately pulls his hatchets out and starts swinging, sloppy, but still dangerous

“Don’t you ever fucking talk about them!”

Hoody catches his arms and pushes him back on the couch

“He didn’t mean it like that.”

“I don’t give a fuck! I’ll kill him!”

“You can’t even stand up straight”

The room was spinning. He wasn’t wrong

“Just…let me die. Let me die…here”

They look at him

He’s malnourished. His skin paler than ever. His self inflicted wounds, just open because no one was there to help patch him up. The dark circles under his eyes, prominent. His eyes themselves, hollow and empty

Masky warms up some instant noodles from the cabinet

“Eat. Now”

“Fuck you”

“Toby. Please” Hoodie says, concerned

He reluctantly takes it and eats slowly unable to finish, putting it on the table in front of him

“See that…toy truck over there?”

He points to a red toy pickup truck, untouched and in the same place his son left it.

“That was my son’s favorite. He told me…he liked it so much….because it looked like….mine.”

He points to a doll with fluffy brown hair

“See that? My daughter….loved it…said it had hair like me”

He can’t take it anymore. He starts to sob. He doesn’t even care about looking tough anymore

“Fuck! They’re gone! They’re gone!”

Toby puts his head in his hands and just sobs

What else could he do?

This was his first time talking about it with someone else

They sit with him, putting their hands on his shoulders, comforting him

They didn’t always get along though out the years

But they could put that aside for something like this

“Brain. You died. Brought back by….Slenderman. How do you feel?”

He already knew what Toby was implying

“Don’t even think about it Toby. I may be alive again. But my body isn’t mine anymore and I’m a slave to Slenderman. You know that. You don’t want that for your children. They’ll belong to him and have a life of suffering. So…let them rest”

It was selfish thinking on Toby’s part. But he’d do anything to have them back

But he knew better. He wouldn’t actually go through with that idea

Toby’s mood swings are worse than ever

Extreme sadness, to extreme numbness to extreme anger

That’s it

He couldn’t feel happiness anymore

It died with his kids

It left with his significant other

Constant panic attacks

Constant nightmares

Constant hallucinations

And besides the occasional visit from Masky and Hoodie

He was alone

And….maybe it’s better this way

The words ring in his head every day

“You destroy everything you fucking touch!”

A shell of a person

Doesn’t leave his house anymore, unless it’s to visit his children’s graves

Hopes he’ll see his ex partner there one day

Wants to ask if they have nightmares too and if they still wake up and think of the life they had together

Wants to end his own life, but was cursed with immortality or at least long lasting life

He wants nothing more than to see his family again

Both of them

Blames himself every day

Will literally never not blame himself

He will never move on or be happy again

So he spends his days in the empty home, looking at once was

“Please….forgive me. I love you.”

He holds a picture of his kids to his chest as he falls asleep into another nightmare

Not that real life was any better

[gaysindistress]

Hiya ❤️ would you maybe do buck imagine for my bday tomorrow for me? I'd really need some distraction atm. One where you have a crush on each other but of course don't talk about it. Then one night you enter the living room all dressed up for a date and buck is totally flashed by you, until you ask for his opinion for it. When he realizes this is for another guy he gets all bad mooded and leaves. Then instead of your date, you head to Buckys room and decide to finally make a move and kiss him and admit your feelings, which leads to also sleeping together and lots of cute Bucky afterwards? 🙊

Hi babes!!! Im so sorry I didn’t reply to this sooner. I wanted to wait until I finished the fic before I answered. I left it more suggestive but there’s plenty of cute Bucky!!

Warnings: cursing and suggestive content

“I told you to stay back! Do you ever listen?” Bucky sneers when he spots a furry of black rush past him into the open courtyard.

“Yeah just not to you. I’ve learned to tune out your voice,"I plainly state back, tucking myself behind a cement pillar after making a mad dash across the courtyard.

“Would it kill you to put your ego aside for one mission? For…” he’s interrupted by the rain of bullets coming his way and he drops down to the ground, “Sam do you copy?”

“Loud and clear,” he answers through their earpieces, “It looks like there’s about five guys shooting at you. Want Redwing to take them out?”

Bucky’s nose flares at the mention of the godforsaken machine but concedes, “Cover her and I’ll do it.”

“Excuse me? I don’t need anyone’s…” a shriek cuts me short and the sound of my own bullets confirms that I do, in fact, need help and Redwing is on it within seconds, taking out the offended men.

“What was that?” Bucky tries not to sound mocking but it’s just too good of a moment to miss.

“Shove it, Barnes. You’re the one who doesn’t immediately think of his bionic arm because he’s right handed.”

“Sam you told her about that? That’s it. Both of you are fired when we get back.”

We chuckle at his false threat and focus on the task at hand; getting inside of the looming concrete building, extract the intel, and get out in one piece.

“Sammmmmmmmmm…”

The man glances up from the book he is reading at the sound of his name being drawn out, “yesssssss y/nnnnnnn?”

“I need to talk to you,” I nervously whisper, twisting around to see if anyone is in the room. Slipping his bookmark into the book, Sam sets it down and sits back against the couch, gesturing for me to take a seat.

“I swear to god if this has to be with robo cop, your free therapy sessions will come to an end,” he teased me but comes off harsher than he intended and he cringes when my face falls.

“Oh it’s okay. I’m sorry to bother you,"I quickly try to recover the social blunder I’ve made but he grabs my wrist and tells me to sit my ass back down.

“You’re not bothering me and you know better than to take me seriously,” he gently chides me as he pulls me into his side, “what did he do now?”

Fingers twist in uncomfortable angles as I ring my hands together in my lap. Regret starts to fill me and pushes against me like the strong coastal winds, trying to shove me off of the couch and out of the room.

“Nothing. I just…I just hate it, ya know? I hate the whole shitty back and forth we have and how he’s always such an asshole but only to me. I hate that…” I trail off and lean my head on Sam’s shoulder, “I hate that I can’t just tell him how I feel. At this point just getting it off my chest is all I want; I don’t care if he feels the same. I wouldn’t even care if he rejected me, as long as I just didn’t have to live with this disgusting school girl crush.”

Sam chuckles, “have you tried talking to him?”

“We are talking about the same person here, right?”

Although I can’t see him, I can feel the eye roll and heat it in the sarcasm that drips from his voice.

“I will shove you off this couch, I’m trying to HELP you,” he jokingly pushes me away causing us to both laugh, “if you won’t talk to him, then why not move on?”

My laughter dies instantly.

Move on?

Move on?

Move fucking on?

“It’s not that simple,” I snipe at Sam and he hisses from the fake burn of my words.

“It was a suggestion. You don’t have to listen to it,” he says with mock defensiveness.

Another fit of laughter overcomes us and I fall into his lap, completely unaware of how this might look to others. That is until we hear a snort of disgust from the doorway.

The owner?

The one and only Bucky Barnes.

I scramble off of Sam and clear my throat, embarrassed that Bucky walked past.

“Come on, Sam. You can do better than her,” he says with a scowl before striding down the hallway again.

Sam’s jaw tenses and he’s muttering to himself as he stands, taking off after the super solider. He pauses at the door, “I’m sorry for him.”

“It’s fine,” I mumble but it’s not convincing enough.

“No it’s not and I’m going to kick his ass for it. And for the record I think you should at least try and date other people.”

I give him a small smile as he turns and takes off after Bucky, shouting the whole way that he better be ready to get his ass whopped.

Try and date other people.

Try and date other people.

Try and date other people.

It feels deeply wrong to even think about dating other people but Bucky clearly isn’t in a place to even hear my feelings for him.

I pull my phone out and open the most god forsaken app to ever exist; Tinder.

The profile that Yelena and Natasha helped me make has several matches and unread messages but I haven’t had the heart to respond or even open them. Scrolling aimlessly, I pick someone random and message him back.

I have to at least try no matter how loud my heart is screaming at me.

Nelly Furtado and Megan Thee Stallion have been on repeat for the last three maybe four hours. I’m sure everyone is annoyed and would be banging on my door, shouting at me to turn it off if Sam hadn’t told literally every single person in the tower that I had a date. Tony clapped me on the shoulder, congratulating me for getting out there while Yelena and Natasha demanded to know every detail about this mystery man. I promised Sam that I wouldn’t forget this and he better be ready to lose next time we spar during training. His usual smile dropped as the fear of god struck him. Well the fear of ME struck him.

Smoothing my dress down, I cock my head at my reflection in the mirror. I have to admit that I look stunning in the simple fitted dress that Natasha practically ordered I wear. It’s a tie dye pattern of cream and red with thin straps and a scoop neckline that shows off the star pendant necklace that Tony and Pepper gave me when I first moved in. A “welcome to the tower and good luck” gift as he put it with a teasing smile. Simple hoops line my ears and two matching bracelets adore my wrists however the simplicity of my outfit feels over the top. I’d changed my shoes about 40 times and settled on a pair of tan platform sandals but something is nagging at me to change again.

I check the time and curse under my breath when I see that I need to leave in 5 minutes, which certainly isn’t enough time to change everything. The thought of canceling occurs to me but I know I’ll never hear the end of it.

Checking my reflection one last time, I grab my phone and shove it in my purse before leaving my room. Normally I’d be able to tell if someone was in the common living room but I’m too distracted by hyping myself up for this date to notice that there is someone sitting on the couch.

A certain asshole who never fails to piss me off but also makes me fall for him even more to be exact.

I come to a halt when I feel his presence and duck behind the wall, praying he didn’t see me. Peaking my head out, I’m relieved that he hasn’t and my heart clenches at the sight. Bucky looks so peaceful sitting on the couch dressed in a hoodie and joggers with a well loved book in his lap. Although his hood is pulled up, his ruffled hair peeks out, having grown longer and longer with each passing day. When I first met him, he was damn near bald with his short cropped hair but he’s let it grow long enough that he has to push it back every now and again. I jokingly offered him a hair tie during training one day after I saw how frustrated he was getting with it. He snatched it from me with a grumble and sported a unicorn hair for the remainder of training. Sometimes I think I see that black hair tie on his wrist but he’s all too eager to get away from me for me to properly look.

“I can feel you staring, pervert,” his voice cracks from not being used in hours and I flinch at the sudden noise.

“I’m not staring,” I weakly mumble and step back into the living room.

He hasn’t looked up from his book, still reading the pages as he speaks to me, “yes you were.”

I roll my eyes and stick my tongue out at him which of course, he somehow sees. It’s beyond me how he can literally sense everything except for my feelings towards him.

His piercing eyes flicker up at me for a brief moment and back to his book before doing a double take.

“Where are you going?”

His question catches me off guard and I scowl at him, “what are you? My dad?”

His jaw twitches but he says nothing.

Satisfied that I got the best of him, I push my luck and ask him, “how do I look? Would you want to go on a date with me?”

Apparently that’s a big fucking mistake because he’s up and storming out of the room like a fucking child without a single word.

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” I mumble under my breath and go after him, “Barnes! I asked you a question, don’t you know it’s rude to storm off and not answer when someone asks you something?”

The behemoth of a man still says nothing as he continues to stomp down the hall.

“Bucky!” I shout at him and he stills right at his door. His left hand is gripping his door knob and I can hear it crumble under its strength. He doesn’t turn to look at me. No no he turns his head just enough to side eye me as he spits out, “fuck off, Y/N.”

The use of my first name takes me back. He never calls me y/n, not even when he’s furious with me for not falling orders. It’s always my last name, Agent, or some rude nickname and on very rare occasions when he’s flirting with me to be a dick, doll.

“Excuse me?” I scoff at him, crossing my arms over my chest.

“I said fuck off,” he grits out as he rips the door open and tries to slam it shut but my hand stops him.

“You don’t get to talk to me like that, no matter how much you hate me. What is your deal anyways? All I did was ask if you liked my outfit which shouldn’t matter to you anyways,” I tell him as I shove into his room. It’s his turn to be taken aback and he stumbles backwards when I push through.

“You’ve made it very clear that you despise me and I, for the life of me, cannot figure out why,” my pent up frustration and anger come spilling out as I continue to tell him off, “I was nothing but kind and friendly when I first got here but you? You were a dick from day one and only to me! You didn’t treat Yelena or even fucking Sharon that way. It was just me and it got worse! Oh my god it’s gotten so much worse and whether or not you want to believe it, I’m a person who has feelings! I can’t even begin to count how many times I’ve cried in the shower because of you. It got so bad that I would cry myself to sleep like a fucking idiot and someone had to sit with me until I fell asleep so I wouldn’t throw myself into a goddamn panic attack. Poor Sam almost moved in because he was the only one that could calm me down. Did you know that?”

He’s staring at me with wide eyes but not a single emotion crosses over them. It makes me unbelievably angry that my outburst doesn’t even phase him.

So I keep going, “and you want to know the worst part? The day I got here, Tony was showing me around and he brought me into the kitchen where everyone was eating. You were there, flirting with Sam just to piss him off but you looked so happy. You were laughing and smiling so much that Tony, fucking Tony made a comment about how that was the happiest he’d seen you in a while. You hadn’t seen us yet but when you did, you gave me that charming Brooklyn smile and it was all over for me. From that single smile, I knew I was screwed because I’d caught feelings for you. Not that it mattered though because within a matter of hours, you lost that smile and were so awful. I tried so hard to make you like me but nothing. If anything it made you hate me even more but no matter what, I’ve always had these…feelings for you that I don’t want anymore. I don’t want to look at you and feel my heart breaking because you don’t feel the same way. I don’t want to pick apart every person I talk to because they’re not you and I hate that they’re not. I don’t want to cry to Sam about how it feels like a piece of me is dying when I’m not around you but you want nothing to do with me. I don’t want to feel like this anymore, Bucky. I can’t… I can’t feel like this.”

By the end of my confession, the tears I swore I would never shed again have fallen. They ruin the makeup I spent an hour putting on, pretending it was a date with Bucky because thinking about Miguel makes my skin crawl. I know I look like a mess but I don’t care. I’ve said my peace finally and while it’s embarrassing and I know I’ll regret it later, it’s done. Maybe now I can move on or at least find comfort in knowing that I won’t have to face Bucky again and live with these disgusting unrequited feelings.

He’s still said nothing, hasn’t moved or otherwise acknowledged that he’s heard me. He just stands there, staring at me with a clenched jaw and completely still. The only noises that fill his room are my sniffles and the subtle whirring of his arm as he clenches his hands into fists.

Of course he wouldn’t say anything. Why would he? It’s not surprising but hurtful regardless because I would’ve hoped he’d find a shred of kindness to show me under all of that hatred.

I shake my head as I turn to leave, unable to deal with him and with the fact that I’m now late for my date. My phone buzzes and I’m greeted with a rather rude message from Miguel about how unattractive it is that I’m late and didn’t even give him a heads up. It takes everything in me to not scream as loud as I can and throw my phone against the wall. Instead I settle for angrily shoving it back into my purse while more than a few foul words fall from my lips.

A cold metal hand clasps onto my wrist as I pull open the door and I look down at it in shock.

“I don’t know what to say,” Bucky whispers, his grip gentle but inescapable all the same. I want to tear myself away but he’s touching me. My heart begins to pound at the connection between us and I let out a shuttered breath.

“You can start by apologizing for how you talked to me,” I manage to say with a voice that is steadier than my breathing.

“I’m sorry, doll. Not just for that but for everything. I’m sorry I made you feel that way. I’m sorry I made you cry and made you think I hated you. I’m sorry I ever treated you the way that I did. No one deserves that and especially not you,” he says in a low voice while slowly closing the distance between us. His hand slides up my arm until it rests on my bicep and he asks for me to come closer too with a soft squeeze.

“I know actions are louder than words and if you’ll let me, I will do anything you ask of me to make it up to you. All you have to do is ask, doll and I swear I’ll do it,” his voice cracks with emotions that I never thought he could feel. Tears brim his eyes as he looks at me with such hope that I feel my own threaten to start falling again.

“No,” it shocks me just as much as it shocks him. His hand loosens and falls to his side.

“No,” I breathe out, “I can’t…that’s….Bucky I just admitted that I’m in love with you and that’s all you have to say? I appreciate the effort but it’s not…no it’s not enough.”

“You’re in love with me?”

Disbelief laces his words and I let out a scoff because he can’t be fucking serious right now.

“Don’t… don’t make me say it,” I stammer over my words as my sobs get caught in my throat.

He blinks at me for a moment before repeating it more to himself than me, “you’re in love with me.”

I wait with bated breath as he processes the revelation. He takes a sudden step forward and I take one back out of habit. Pain explodes onto his face as he steps back again and I swear to god I’ve never felt my heart break as much as it is now.

“Don’t play with my emotions, Bucky,” I hiss, the words harsher than I intend

“Jesus fuck,” he mutters while running a hand through his hair, “do you really think I’d do something like that?”

An answer materializes on my tongue but I can’t say it and he learns it from the struggle in my eyes.

“Wow, I…I can’t believe that you think that low of me.”

“No, I don't because I think the world of you.”

He shakes his head, “don’t play with my emotions either, doll.”

“Considering that I don’t know what they are most of the time, I don’t think I could even if I tried.”

There’s a shift in the tension and I can’t place what. Bucky straightens his shoulders and looks at me with a new intensity. He attempts another step in my direction and when I don’t back away, he begins to prowl towards me.

“I’m not good with words.”

“Trust me I’m aware.”

“I haven’t been able to think about my own wants and needs until recently.”

He backs me into the door but stays a foot or so away from me.

“Where are you going with this?” My voice is whinier than I’d hoped and I pray to god he doesn’t notice.

But he does and the smile that hooked me in the first place overtakes his face.

“Anywhere you want me to, doll. If you want me to give you space, I’ll give it to you even though it’ll break me,” he whispers seriously, “If you want me to grovel until we’re both old and forget why, I’ll gladly get on my knees for you right now. If you want me to show you how I feel, all you have to do is say yes.”

Hesitation creeps up on me because I know what I want and what I want is not what I need.

“Yes.”

Bucky takes the final steps and pins me against the door, both arms caging me in so I have nowhere to go. My hands fly up to his shoulders as he leans in, not quite letting our lips touch.

“I’m in love with you too,” he whispers against my lips before his descends upon mine. I half expected him to devour me but it’s unhurried, slow and languid as our lips move in sync. I can feel his love in the way that his tongue slides against my bottom lip before slipping in. He’s gentle with me as his hands move to cradle my head and pull me impossibly closer. He's apologizing for the tears and angst I’ve felt as my phone rings and he silences it without breaking our kiss. He’s showing that he’ll spend as long as it takes to show his love for me as he urges me to wrap my legs around his waist and takes me to his bed.

My phone rings again and he lets out a frustrated growl as he breaks our kiss to answer it. He rolls his eyes at the name that flashes and presses the answer button with a little too much aggression.

“Hello?”

I can’t hear what Miguel says but Bucky’s replies are very clear.

“This is her boyfriend.”

“Since when? Since right fucking now.”

He hangs up and tosses my phone to the other side of his bed.

“Boyfriend, huh?” I tease however it falls short when he dips his head to my neck, licking and sucking at my skin.

“Have a problem with it, doll?”

“Not at all.”

[st4rgzer]

ORANGE JUICE matt sturniolo

summary: y/n comes back after a few tough months (very much recommend listening to orange juice by noah kahan before reading)

genre: fluff and angst

cw: big TW for recovering and becoming sober :)

a/n: again, theres more info in the songs if this doesn’t make much sense but yeah, hope y’all like it<3, will do more song rec fics, i love them

The triplets called me today, they heard I was better and they were hanging out with Nate and some other friends, so I decided to tag along.

It’s been 6 months on the dot since I got sober, I think they know about it. I’ve kind off disappeared from the face of the earth, changing myself, and I wasn’t sure if some people would approve.

I knock on the door and I’m greeted by Nick immediately, he engulfs me in a hug that lasts about a minute

“nick I missed you too but I think that’s enough” I laughed, trying to unwrap his arms, he eventually does it himself.

“yeah stop hogging her!” Chris says before wrapping his arms around me in yet another never ending hug. After a bit, Im left standing in front of Matt, he’s different, he’s grown a little bit of a beard, barely a beard, more like a stubble, a smile creeps up on my face, a familiar one, a feeling I hadn’t felt in a long time.

“you look great” he smiles at me, coming closer and embracing me in my third hug in the span of 5 minutes, I linger there for a little longer, he sighs and rests his head on the crook of my neck, his words tickle. “I’ve missed you, a lot” I giggle a bit as the stubble brushed against me jawline. I break from the hug as soon as I remember Nick, Chris, and Nate are waiting on us. “I missed you too” I whispered before Nick began ranting on about the things I’ve missed.

“And we’ve been on tour! And we’re going again soon” he explains as the end of his Ted talk comes to an end.

“wow! Thats great, im so happy for you guys” I can’t help but have a huge smile on my face, looking at the three and realizing how much they’ve grown without me, and the fact they’ve waited for me and they’re not mad at me for leaving, no questions asked.

“What have you been up to?” Matt asks with a quiet voice “if you don’t mind us asking” he quickly reassures me I don’t have to say anything I’m not comfortable with.

“Well, I’ve been getting help, doing better now” I leave it there, not wanting to give any more information than I needed to, not right now at least.

“That’s amazing, we’re proud of you” Matt places a hand on mine for comfort, everyone nods agreeing.

“Wanna help me with the snacks?” Matt breaks the silence, I nod and he leads me to the kitchen, it hasn’t changed a bit since I got here, there’s just more stuff, it’s more lived in, I like it.

I open the fridge and see a row of beers at the bottom, probably for when friends come over, my body goes tense and the sounds around me become muffled, I snap out of it when Matt pats on my shoulder.

“Hey, you alright?” He ask’s concerned, I know he’s trying to keep a calm expression but I can tell he’s worried.

“Yeah I’m fine just- got caught up for a second” I utter out with a sigh, I don’t notice my hand trembling till he grabs it.

“Theres orange juice here, I know it’s your favorite” he says softly, rubbing the palm of my hand, making sure I looked at him in the eyes so I wouldn’t get distracted with something else.

“Yeah? Thanks, I’ll get it then” I smile at him, he kissed the tips of my fingers gently

“Anything you need ok? Count on me, please” he begged, looking at me with sincerity, no games.

I nodded and the corners of my mouth turned upwards as it hit me that I was with him again, after such a long time, for me at least. I then grabbed the orange juice from the fridge and poured myself a cup, Matt glancing at me with a smile on his face as I did so.

Our hearts have changed, our faces have changed, but we’ll always find our way back to each other, no matter the changes we succumb to, and I’ll always hold that in my heart.

taglist: @iha8you @dwntwn-strnlo @slaysturniolo @stvrni0lo @strniolo @gabbylovesreading @sturn3g1rl @ifilwtmfc

[happeehippie]

instagram j.b

summary: follow along with joe and his fiance evie as they go through his football career.

*face claim is Yasmin Quintana*

series masterlist

evie

liked by bengals, millyg, joeyb_9, and 679,735 others

evie: and so it all begins again.. first GAME DEY of year 3. let’s go jb. 🧡🤍

view all 16,279 comments

user: i love your boyfriend.. im sorry.

> evie: what’s not to love?

user: i am green with envy

joeyb_9: i lack the vocabulary to describe you..

> evie: i freaking love you joey.

user: here we go again, get ready for ev’s feed to be football for the next 6 months 🙄

> user: i don’t know how people are still annoyed by this just unfollow

user: i personally love football season with ev

joeyb_9

liked by bengals, evie, and 952,920 others

joeyb_9: Party in the end zone

view all 4,839 comments…

user: MARRY ME

bengals: 🕺🕺🕺

user: attaboy joey!

user: bad mf bro

evie: okay, hear me out.. let’s work on spinning the ball before you do it again yeah?

> user: 🤣🤣🤣

> user: that’s okay! we still love you joey.

> user: HAHAHA you tell him

> joeyb_9: it’s all in the flick of the wrist baby! i’ll get em next time.

> user: 😭😭😭 A for effort lol

evie

liked by bengals, joeyb_9, and 38,829 others

evie: screaming. crying. and obsessing over this shirt. Happy GAME DEY my little bengies!

view all 7,388 comments…

user: I loved your post about leading with love! we are so lucky to have you as our AFC QUEEN!

> evie: sending you my love sweet girl, thank you so much.

user: watch out for all those girls after your man or you won’t need that shirt anymore

user: big fan of this

joeyb_9: if you wanted an autographed tee you could’ve just asked

> evie: i’m literally just a girl

user: the first lady of cincinnati

> evie: i think it should be you. 🤪

millyg: it should be illegal to look this good at a sporting event.

> evie: spoiler.. it is. 🤪

joeyb_9

liked by bengals, lahjay10_, and 627,937 others

joeyb_9: heating up

view all 2,785 comments…

evie: this looks exactly like a dream i had the other day

> joeyb_9: can you tell me how it ended? 😉

> user: NOT JOE GETTING SPICY IN THE COMMENTS

> user: who allowed him to use the wink emoji

> user: i’ll never recover from this

user: so overrated

user: that’s literally my boyfriend

> evie: are we sharing?

user: badass

user: JOKE

evie

liked by joeyb_9, millyg, and 984,001 others

evie: todays fit check is courtesy of @lahjay10_ for giving me the most wicked game day kicks ever! hbd to me. 🤪

view all 6,839 comments…

bengals: Happy Birthday Mrs. B!

> evie: yall tryna start trouble! 🤣

user: happy birthday ev! queen in the north!

lahjay10_: hbd ev, you ain’t no regular pigeon!

> evie: thanks jay! you ain’t no regular cat!

> user: i live for the uno x ev interactions

user: Happy Birthdey!

user: @joeyb_9 better get that dub for your birthday

> evie: i’m counting on it!

millyg: happy birthday sister! i love you more than life.

> evie: ugh, ilysm!

user: bday fit goes hard

joeyb_9: happy birthday to the best thing that happened to me. you’re older, wiser, and hot as ever!

> evie: i want to celebrate by drowning in cake and pasta.

joeyb_9

liked by millyg, bengals, and 859,512 others

joeyb_9: winning=happy

view all 2,041 comments…

user: the smile 😍😍

user: are you real?

user: no post for evies birthday?

> user: he doesn’t usually post her, it’s no big deal

> user: no one made posts for her birthday! there was a game!

> user: she also doesn’t post him on her feed for his bday

bengals: Yes it does Joey

user: DM me joe

evie: ugh!!! that smile makes me wanna die!

> joeyb_9: me and you=forever

> evie: that’s the plan big guy 🤍

user: my boy

evie

liked by joeyb_9, millyg, and 653,827 others

evie: and that’s MY MAN!!! JB

view all 8,628 comments…

user: the most beautiful

user: SHEEEEESH 🥵

user: so iconic

joeyb_9: my favorite part of every game is knowing you’re out there cheering for me.

> evie: i’ll spend the rest of my life cheering for you joey.

user: joe fuckin burrow is the 🐐

user: are we all just forgetting that we don’t like her?

> user: not everyone doesn’t like her, and if you don’t then unfollow her. easy.

user: oh to be evie..

millyg: mrs. joe fuckin burrow

> evie: coming soon..

> user: QUIT! WHEN?

> user: are we getting an off season wedding?

joeyb_9

liked by bengals, evie, and 963,739 others

joeyb_9: 🥶🥶

view all 15,738 comments…

user: i like what you do

user: you didn’t even give ev a birthday shoutout

> user: you obviously didn’t see her stories from that day, he doesn’t have to post her to celebrate

> user: i adore how she calls him “my joey” like yes queen! he is YOURS!

> user: he’s not an object

user: marry me

user: i’m rooting for you!

evie: it’s just too easy baby..

> joeyb_9: 🥱 light work

user: joe brrrrrr

user: he’s cooooold

evies instagram stories

[linos-luna]

Hi there this is my first time requesting but recently I’ve found out that I have a large cyst on my thyroid. I’ve struggled with hypothyroidism for about two years now but this is new and overwhelming to me 😞

I’ve been putting on a lot of weight and losing hair so I just don’t feel beautiful anymore. Not to mention the large cyst is making me have a double chin which girls point out at work and school…

Could you possibly write ot8 skz x fem reader comforting the reader with their health struggles? Im in need of a serious pick me up 🩷

I’m so sorry to hear. My sister has had hypothyroidism since she was a baby so while I haven’t experienced it, I’ve seen how it affects her. I hope you’re alright. Message me if you ever need to chat 🩵

——————————————————— 🩷

Health 🥀

OT8 Skz x Reader

Warnings: angst?, health concerns, insecurity

——————————————————— 🩷

Chan

He would be extremely comforting and supportive of helping you get through the day. To him, you’re beautiful and amazing no matter what and it’s his job as your boyfriend to love and take care of you.

“Baby, I have your medication ready.” Chan said while going to you with a pill and water.

“I don’t want it…” you frowned while looking down.

“Don’t want it? But it helps you.”

“It makes me drowsy!” You yelled out. “… and ugly…”

“Ugly??” Chan said while putting the stuff down. “A pill can’t make you ugly.” He teased.

“It made me heavy…”

“That doesn’t mean you’re ugly.” He sighed while rubbing your sides. “You’re as beautiful as ever…”

You shook your head and crossed your arms.

“No? Well it’s too bad you don’t believe that. But I believe it.”

“Y/n…” Chan said with his hand on your cheek. “It’s not forever. It’s just a rough patch. With your treatment it’ll get better. We’ll figure out a health plan so you can take the medication and still feel beautiful okay?”

You only looked at him with a frown.

“Hey, I don’t like seeing my baby sad.” He said with a teasing pout.

You chuckled under your breath and smiled a little while a tear rolled down your cheek.

Minho

He knows how hard it can be for you. He tries not making your issues a big deal in fear of embarrassing you but will still do anything for you.

Today was one of the bad days. You felt awful as you laid in bed.

“Hey, kitten.” Minho said with a smile, coming in the room with tea. “What would you like for breakfast?”

“I’ll go get it…” you mumbled while starting to get up, only for Minho to stop you.

“No no it’s okay.” He said with a soft smile before putting your tea on the nightstand. “I’ll make you breakfast in bed.”

“No…” you groaned. “I can—”

“Y/n, it’s okay.” The said while putting his hand on your shoulder. “I want you to rest.”

You sighed, finally giving up and laying back against the pillows. “Minho… I can’t do this anymore…”

“What do you mean?”

“I hate living like this…” you groaned. “I hate being sick! I hate struggling like this!”

“Kitten, it’s not forever.” He sighed. “You’re actually doing better. I think the medication is working.”

“But I feel so useless! I don’t go out much or even work!”

“You’re sick and recovering.” Minho said while rubbing your cheek. “And im happy to take care of you.”

“But—”

“Like I said, it’s not forever. But if you insist, you can return the favor later in the future okay?”

You nodded before Minho kissed your forehead and hugged you tight.

“I love you, Kitten…”

Changbin

Changbin admires how strong you are. With all you go through, you’re still powering through it and it amazes him. He’s sure to remind you of that every day.

After getting back from the doctor’s office, you found yourself on the bed, lying in silence with tears rolling down your cheeks. Changbin walked in after you and took a seat while rubbing for side.

“Y/n…” he sighed. “Are you okay?”

You only shook your head.

“Baby, it’s okay—”

“No! No it’s not!” You snapped, still not looking at him. “I’m not getting better! The medicine doesn’t work!”

“Well that’s why they prescribed you a new—”

“No! They never work!” You cried, only for Changbin to scoop you in his arms. He felt awful. You were so good at putting on the strong front, but now you’re letting it all out.

“Why are you still here?!” You cried. “You could have someone better… someone healthy and pretty…”

“I’m still here because I love you.” He sighed. “Baby, you’re beautiful. And while you may not be the pinnacle of health, you’re very strong.”

“You’re just saying that…” you mumbled.

“I’d never lie to you.” Changbin said while holding you tight. “You’re very strong. Not everyone can do this and still keep going. You fight every day. And I’m proud of you…”

Hyunjin

Very empathetic. Pisces are known to be extremely empathetic to people’s feelings and this is especially true for you.

Hyunjin hates to see you sad. He wants to do everything he can to cheer you up.

You were in the restroom, crying. Hyunjin came in quickly, worried for whatever made you so distraught.

“Baby what’s wrong?!” He hugged you tight, looking around to make sure that you didn’t hurt yourself.

“I keep gaining weight!” You sobbed into his chest. “I’m not even doing anything!!”

“Baby…” Hyunjin sighed while wiping your tears. “It’s okay. It’s the medication. It’s temporary okay?”

“No! I feel disgusting!!”

“You’re not disgusting. He said with a frown. “Just because you’re a little bigger, doesn’t mean you’re disgusting or ugly.”

“Yes it does!”

“Being skinny doesn’t automatically make you beautiful. You’re beautiful at any size.”

Hyunjin hugs you as you continued crying.

“After this little rough patch, we can do something about it.” He said while rubbing your back. “My love, if it really bothers you, after you finish the treatment, I’ll work with you to feel good again.”

You only buried your face in his chest.

“We’ll set up a plan with a doctor for your desired weight… go to physical therapy… anything and everything you need… just promise me something.”

“W-what…?”

“Don’t starve yourself…” he sighed. “I know you’re doing that. It’ll only make things worse.”

“O-okay…”

“I love you, y/n.” He said, kissing your lips softly.

“I love you too, Jinnie…”

Han

A little frantic and has to remember himself that you’re not made of glass. He gets so protective and is often afraid of what could happen or others would say. He just wants you to feel happy.

You wanted to go grocery shopping but your boyfriend insisted that you stay home and rest.

“Please, stay here.” Han pleaded. “I do it and I won’t be long.”

“Why can’t I go out?!”

“You’re sick! You just came back from treatment.” He replied.

“That was 3 days go!”

“Yeah but… we need to be careful…” he sighed while holding your hands. “I don’t want you to strain yourself…”

“Hannie…” you sighed. “I’m not gonna strain myself…”

“I’m just worried… not just physically but mentally too.” He frowned. “I know how anxious you get.”

“Yeah, you’re right… but—… I just don’t wanna be useless.”

“You’re not useless.”

“I haven’t done anything! Just sit at home!” You snapped.

“Baby…” he sighed while hugging you. “Is that what this about?”

You didn’t answer, only huffing.

“You’re not useless. There’s nothing wrong with me helping you… but—” he paused. “I-I shouldn’t treat you like you’re made of glass…”

You looked up at him, surprised by what he said.

“We’ll go together. I’ll take care of you okay. Please let me take care of you.”

“Okay…” you nodded before he gave you a quick kiss on the lips.

“You’re so cute, you know that?” Han said with a smile. “Cutest person I know.”

Felix

Felix wants to take care of you all the time. Sometimes it’s too much but you know he means well. He will also do anything to cheer you up.

As you watch tv in the living room, your boyfriend Felix comes in holding something.

“Hey I made something for you!” He said happily while holding out what seemed to be a hat.

“You made it??” You replied, impressed at how well put together it looked.

“Yeah I learned how to crochet.” Felix said with a smile. “I wanted to show you too. Then we can make more pretty hats!”

You couldn’t help letting out a small chuckle at his enthusiasm. He knows how insecure you were about your hair falling out. You mentioned in a heated moment that you can’t go out with covering the thinning spot. Well he must’ve taken that literally.

“You wanna teach me to crochet?”

“Yes. It’s a good way to keep you busy.” He nodded. “Then we can spend more time together!”

You smiled at him, finding him so adorable. “Thank you, Lixie.”

Felix kissed your cheek before leaving to get the hooks and yarn.

Seungmin

Seungmin is constantly concerned for you but loves and supports you by taking care of things so you can relax. He’ll be the one to do things like make your appointments and remind you to take medications. He’s a little awkward when it comes to emotional support but he tries his best.

“Alright y/n, we’ll be leaving in 20 minutes. We can go to the appointment and check in early.” Seungmin said while packing up your purse. “Then maybe we can get Starbucks after—… Sweetheart?”

You had been quiet this whole time as he spoke, only sitting on the couch, lost in your thoughts.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Seungmin asked while standing in front of you.

“Nothing…” you mutter under your breath.

“Y/n… don’t lie. What’s wrong?”

“I just… I don’t…” you weren’t sure how to describe your frustrations without crying so you only looked down.

Seungmin rubbed your hair as he had an idea of what was bugging you. “Y/n… it’s okay—…”

“I don’t wanna go!”

“What?”

“I don’t want to go to the appointment!” You frowned.

“Why?”

“I-I don’t— my body hurts and I don’t wanna go outside!” You said as the tears finally started coming down. “I don’t want people looking at me! Th-they— don’t look at me!”

Seungmin sighed as you suddenly hid your face and sobbed. This had been getting worse lately.

“Okay, baby…” he said while taking your hand. “I’ll reschedule… and we don’t have to go out.”

You pause and look at him.

“We’ll spend the day at home.” He smiled and rubbed your cheek. “I’ll order foods and we can watch movies and cuddles. How’s that?”

“R-really?”

“Yes really.” He nodded.

… thank you, seungmin…”

“Anything for you, baby.” He said before kissing your forehead.

Jeongin

He always does is best to cheer you up. Sure he doesn’t understand how you feel exactly, but he doesn’t want you to be down. He’ll buy you food, gifts, and even physical affection (if you want) which is surprising because he’s not the most into physical affection.

You were just exhausted. After a day of doctors appointments and testing, you felt weak as you lay in bed. Your boyfriend was cooking for you in the kitchen but you wanted to see him now.

“Jeongin!” You called out weakly. “Jeongin!”

Your boyfriend came back from the kitchen, a bit concerned. “Yes?”

“I-I… I don’t like being alone…”

“Oh okay.” He replied while rubbing your cheek. “Don’t worry. I’m still here.”

You held out your arms, indicating a hug. You just wanted him to hold you at this moment.

Jeongin was happy to oblige and wrapped his arms around you. He was about to let go but you clung on tight.

But Jeongin didn’t mind. He would lay down with you and hold you for as long as you wanted.

You felt so loved and safe in his arms. No words needed to be exchanged.

[bullet-prooflove]

Future Building - Michael 'Riz' Ariza x Reader

Tagging: @crazy4chickennuggets @kmc1989 @anime-weeb-4-life @danzer8705 @mysoulisasunflower @msjava1972 @adaydreamaway08 @im-just-a-mississippi-girl @wakeama @librarian1002 @briefpersonenemy @creativitybeware @mortal--soul @buddinglinguist @purrrrfect

Riz builds you a house. It’s situated on the edge of his land, near the pond that the two of you skinny dip in during the summer months.

It started as a joke, something Taza mentioned whilst Riz was recovering from his injury after the motorcycle accident. You’d been running around after him playing nursemaid, keeping him fed, watered and medicated. He hated that you had to do it, but you had shushed him, your fingertips brushing the hair away from his face as you kissed him and told him not to worry.

“You should marry her.” Taza had said after you’d disappeared off into the bathroom for a shower. He sets the coffee down in front of Riz before taking the seat across from him at the kitchen table. His leg is stretched out in front of him because of the knee brace. He has a fracture and a torn ligament, he’s already been told off by Stitches for not looking after himself, for trying to be too mobile.

“Technically she is still married.” Riz tells Taza, bringing the cup to his lips. “After what happened with her ex… she decided it wasn't worth the fight, trying to divorce him.”

The club had a part to play in that. Your ex was a sheriff and could do alot of damage of you'd continued to push for it.

He trails off shaking his head. Your marriage had been messy, fraught. You’d felt trapped the entire time you were married, stifled by the man who had intentionally knocked you up and then smacked you around when you’d told him you’d gotten an abortion.

“She’s been a Godsend since the accident.” Riz says, his thumb chasing up the side of the mug. “I wanna take the next step, show her I’m invested in our future. I just don’t know what that is.”

“You could build her a house.” Taza says half seriously. “You’ve got all that land just sitting there, we’re in a quiet spell at the minute. I’m sure Gilly would be glad for the work.”

“I can’t just build a house.” Riz laughs before taking a sip of his coffee.

“Why not?” Taza says with a shrug. “The two of you love it out there, it’s quiet, you can see the stars, you can make as much music as you want without the neighbours complaining. You can rent this place out, have some passive income.”

Riz pauses for a second, his mug still clasped in his hand as he considers Taza’s words. The things is the more the other man says, the more Riz is starting to like the idea. You’ve never had a place of your own, a space that’s just for you. He could build a little studio just off the house, somewhere you could go to play and create. He likes that idea; he likes it a lot. He can afford it, the two of you live conservatively, and the money he’s earned from his illicit activities he puts aside, he’s never really realised what for until now.

When he pulls up outside the finished product, it’s better than he could have imagined. It’s a beautiful three-bedroom bungalow, with cream masonry and dark wood outlining the exterior windows and doors. The yard still needs a little work, Neron and Bottles are laying down flags while Lila digs out the flowerbeds along the edges of the space.

Gilly steps out through the open front door, using a rag to clean his hands as he stands on the porch.

“So what do you think?” He says gesturing at the house.

Riz grins as he puts his hands on his hips.

“She’s gonna love it.”

Love Riz? Don’t miss any of his stories by joining the taglist here.

Like My Work? - Why Not Buy Me A Coffee

[snakegorl212006]

Stalker tango (intro)

Screams full the room as blood spilled the floor well that's how it was before it was occupied by deathly silence. "I don't get why boss only sent us to kill those who broke these simplistic rules. Can't he just sent us just for the thrills" a voice spoke "you know better to questioned this ace. Unless you want to join them too" the others said as he checked down the building to see if the cops showed up "I'm just saying deuce, i think i want to have more fun crashing parties if riddle said to go loose instead of waiting to the end of cater's message to the party. The door swings open startling the two men only to relax as familiar faces showed up though the door "quite the mess" riddle said as his he walks to the two guys with trey and cater right behind "security footage has been deleted and there's no one here alive at least" cater said as he looked though the murder "gonna keep that" tray asked as he looks over his sholder. "Yep I'd say this is a good one" cater smiled then flashing blue and red lights were spotted thought the distance "i thought they're not coming here "riddle frowns "they're not. They're going somewhere else." Deuce replied "lets go unless you wanna wait for them" ace said. The group left confidently, another spree, no survivors, all rule breakers punished.

----------------------------time skip-----------------------------------------------------------

I awaken in the hospital. Googly eyed as memories hit me like a train. A knock was heard on the door. There opened police officer. He had blue hair and beautiful turquoise eyes. He smiled "good morning (l/N). Im officer spade i came to asked questions pertaining last nights events." Spade said "oh umm… Ok" i nod "did you see any of the killer's face or heard any names" he asked "to be honest. After that weird speech i knocked myself out trying to hide underneath the table. I don't remember much" i replied. He nods and writes it down "i see. I don't want to take too much of your time. You're in need to recover. Maybe I'll see you on different circumstances" spade stated before leaving.

-------------------------------ramshakle:MC’s home----------------------------------------

"Live new at the NRC. District of Heartslabyul experienced a mass murder at the hands of the queen of hearts and her cards. Her blade of 'justice' maybe swift but one came out with their head still attached. There name is not disclosed but they say they're making a full recovery. Seems the queen has graced this one." The news anchor spoke. i turned off the TV and sighed. Just my luck hmm..

Night raven city is a bustling place full of vice and virtue. Yet all of its occupants are under control of groups of psychopathic murderers. You have lived in ramshackle district for years working hard to find freedom and escape the NRC so you can reach the city of the royal swords hoping for a better life. Come to realize, you've become their favorite plaything.

[caspersickfanfics]

Hello :) hope you’re doing okay! Since you mentioned still being open to head canons and stuff- I’m currently thinking about how tighnari would potentially use his own sensitivity to noise and crowds to cover for Cyno if they were in some sort of public setting and Cyno wasn’t feeling well. Like I’m imagining the gang all met up to play TCG or something, and maybe it’s a packed night with other members of the mates around as well. Maybe Cyno is just a little too glassy eyed for Tighnaris liking and a little too quiet. He’s not paying attention to the game…he hasn’t touched his drink, he just seems…distant. Shivery. Not good…

Alhaitham and kaveh pickup on it but leave it to nari. Tighnari would make a big show about wanting to head out early due to a headache and ask Cyno if he’d walk him home as a way to get him out of there with out him having to look weak in public.

bonus points for Cyno being genuinely concerned for Tighnari, thinking it was real (he’s out of it, definitely feverish he doesn’t know what’s going on) and instantly starts checkin on him once they leave, offering to take his bag, apologizing for the noise etc. Cyno is so quick to move them away from the noise off towards the peaceful forest. It’s Only then that Tighnari stops him, slaps a hand to Cynos his forehead and lets out a fond sigh. “You silly thing, im *fine* it’s you im worried about. You don’t look like you’re feeling very well. And you’re warm…let’s head home okay? I’ll take your temperature there.”

the next day Cyno can barely get out of bed, and doesn’t eat a thing, but thankfully it’s a short lived bug and he recovers soon after many, many naps.

HI oml this is SO CUTE!!! (Also I am doing much better now, everyone has been so supportive 😭💕)

But this- Cyno being so out of it. “Distant. Shivery. Not good” is a GEM. And this is so in character for Tighnari!! I can absolutely see him just being like “This was fun, but I have a headache so I’m leaving now. Bye!” on the regular when he actually does feel bad, so of course it’s a convenient and believable excuse when he needs one. I could see Kaveh pushing things along as well, being like “oh yes, this usually happens with the noise, you both have a safe trip back!” And Alhaitham being like “I have a headache too” just because he also wants to leave lmao

Of course Cyno being worried about Nari, that’s so precious, I love them sm 😭 Cyno’s probably a bit grumpy that Nari lied because it’s confusing to his fever brain and he doesn’t fully realize it was entirely for his sake and not to trick him, which Tighnari just finds adorable 🥺 Kaveh and Alhaitham go to check on him the next day and he’s just NOT doing well at all. They’re impressed Tighnari picked up on it so quickly and relieved that Cyno’s getting the rest he needs 🥹

Also THANK YOU so much for sending this ask, I was really worried my recent post would mean people would stop talking with me and then I’d be even more bummed and seeing this in my inbox really made my day 💕💕💕 you deserve the world for always spreading so much kindness!!!

[welcometoteyvat]

the wanderer and furina story was beautiful!! i loved the little foreshadowing to dancing a waltz alone, which i read was furina dancing at the stage as the hydro archon all alone—but she’s not alone because scaramouche is there as well.

it was genius to have scaramouche see the funeral of furina and furina the funeral of scaramouche. i’m not sure if this is reading too much but the front part of the story hints at neuvilette controlling the rain, and the fact that it rained at the end… does it allude to how neuvilette was mourning for the death of what furina was (which was her act and the furina that he grew to know) but in the midst of people mourning the loss furina is freed and found a partner who understands her turmoil and they sort of relish in that fact they aren’t alone??? either way, i loved it and i would love more author’s commentary!

i don’t think this is particularly ooc too. — @apologems

for people who missed the context it is here

ehe (venti voice) thank you!!!!! wahhh this is such a sweet note 🥺 also i'm so glad you picked up on all the things i added in by chance and intentionally FDSKFJKDSJF it's good to hear they were expressed clearly enough!!

tbh both the waltz and the rain were kinda spontaneous BUT im very happy they both had their intended effects. i was thinking about that exact scene when writing the waltz line—it's such a good cutscene from the archon quest i had to refer to it. lowkey was also thinking about coppelia and coppelius, especially since they're a pair of dancers, based off a play about an almost human mechanical doll and the creator who fell in love with her... yeah. it's not 1:1 but the pieces are there. also yeah her and scara! it worked nicely as his intro, but I also wanted to show furina as someone who's suddenly alone, but slowly trying to live for herself.. in an empty ballroom there's nobody for whom to put on an act, and now she can dance only if she feels like it. she can also teach scara how to formal dance! and maybe his puppet body can finally control its own strings </3 also im sure she's been to some kind of fancy ballroom party before with neuvillette and maybe this just reminds her of the artificial foreignness that's estranged them now. oh furina my dear actress on the stage

i was so close to cutting out the rain at the end but i was like nooooooo i need the weather symbolism (incredible archetype btw i love weather), and furiously tried to figure out a good ending sentence. you basically got all my thoughts LOL i wanted people to make the connection between rain as rebirth and the washing away of old sins, but also like. the sky is crying. it is dreary and miserable and they're soaked to the bone but the last string connecting their present to their past has finally been dissolved, and now... maybe they're free to move on to sunnier days.. etc,,, i didn't think too much about neuvillette's role in this but what you said 100% works <3 im still unsure what he thinks of furina tbh so i didn't really elaborate DSKFJKSDJ. last thought about the rain: they both have a thing about crying, but the only thing wet during that scene was the rain—i guess i was trying to show like, neither furina nor scara think that this death is a bad thing, or maybe all the tears they could've shed already dried up. it's only other people who mourn for their pasts.

also i forgot but the fire was supposed to be a lowkey callback to when scara burned the house down when his unnamed child died. the entire theme i was kinda going for was like. a farewell to your past; no matter what happened before, maybe you can finally put it down, and leave it behind, live today unrestrained by yesterday's pain, etc.

if i was an animator this would've gone so much better because the scenes were so clear cut in my head. ideally the flow is like this: furina says she can see kabukimono. wanderer's face whitens in a flash, until he's the color of a sheet of paper and it's actually scary to look at. he recovers, says the line about his and furina's funeral. he steps closer to her and turns so that they're directly facing each other, faces like two feet apart. it cuts to a closeup of their faces, panning from furina's, neutral/apprehensive, to wanderer's, eyebrows furrowed, face set (entirely self centered anger that this, of all things, is fate's last laugh at him). and idk the light changes and makes his eyes glassier and more reflective, and furina sees her old self—the camera gets sucked into her reflection (like you're diving into the void) as her face warps in a terrible twisted way, maybe some blood idk; the camera zooms back out, furina breathes heavily, looking disturbed and a bit sick. wanderer is slightly off to the side and his face is blurred (the focus is on furina's slightly horrified face) but he's watching her closely and carefully, but without judgement. wanderer holds out his hand, and furina takes it, and immediately the hiss of the fire starts. its like one of those gigantic funeral pyres, wild and leaping and intense, and she watches the pile of kabukimono doll get smaller and smaller. somewhere in the middle a blackened chunk of something gets spit out (his heart), lands at their feet. the most important part is that after the fire burns itself out, the rain starts immediately. sudden downpour, very heavy etc. the viewer should feel a wave of Closure and Relief after the intensity of the burning. a slow waltz starts playing in the background, low, smooth, and very quiet. they just stand there, and the camera zooms out until they're just two dark blue/black smears against a blurry gray backdrop. end scene

also about the characterization: that's good I always wonder whether I'm leaning too much into my own writing voice instead of sticking closer to the character's canonical language register and mannerisms haha