#im not a person when im alone. im defined by my relationships with others

[dollfat]

so scared of entering a relationship and being not. good. at. it.

of not communicating, of not recognizing bids for attention. speaking out of anger things i cant take back. feeling like we're opponents trying to win over the other.

im so scared to learn i dont have the energy, the maturity, the experience for a relationship. im so scared of being a burden on my loved one. they feel like they have to teach me. i forget and hurt them.

and of course worrying about this doesnt actually prevent it. you can hurt people without intending to and it doesn't make the hurt less real. im scared of being resentful. im scared theyll feel like they cant talk to me when i upset them because im too sensitive and I'll start to cry. im scared of being taken advantage of my lack of experience. im scared ill think im being abused but really im abusing them. im scared of wanting too much from my friends and partner. im scared I'll only have shallow friendships. im scared my friends will rely on me and I'll let them down. im just some adult baby who needs to be taken care of and told what to do. and of course worrying about this doesnt prevent anything. i shouldve socialized more. i shouldve dated more. in my teens, in my 20s, while unemployed, while working. i dont want to turn a relationship into a lesson. oh well i fucked that up I'll know better next time.

im scared that my default self, when im low on energy, when im not policing my behavior, is bad to be around. im rude and unfriendly, and too much and not enough. and ill only ever be able to relax when im alone.

im scared all this proves it. i cant take criticism and cant improve. I'll just throw a tantrum and pity myself and hope the problem goes away. ill know better next time.

[liittleemiixeer]

renato's route in wtc is so painstakingly beautiful, my heart bleeds for them. especially if nova is loyal to the others, that shit is on another level of angstiness...

[long rant ahead, as per usual lol]

This specific route and path (add moon heiress nova on top of that cus im a saddist) makes their relationship intense, fraught with emotional turmoil, and filled with moral ambiguity. However, it's so shocking to see stoic and composed renato succumb to anything nova asks him and even change his view on the Church. The main reason for that happening being, precisely, nova

Their connection is one of quiet desperation, forged in the concequences of a crumbling belief system. Both are torn between their deep-seated loyalty to the Church, which has shaped their entire lives, and their growing recognition that the Church's actions are deeply flawed. Nova, struggling with her own identity as a witch and spy, finds herself increasingly drawn to the priest, not only because he represents the faith she once held dear but also because he mirrors her own internal conflict. But she doesn't understand that renato's own change of mind was because of her. She was powerful enough to open his eyes without even sharing her thoughts explicitly. Her presence (no pun intended lol) alone awoke those doubts within him (rightfully so imo).

They are both painfully aware that their bond is forbidden, not just because of his vows as a priest and her role as a time catcher, but because it represents a betrayal of the very institution that has defined them. In addition, when he kneels before her to get closer to one another, he's symbolically placing himself on an equal level with her, rejecting the hierarchical structure that typically places him above Others, most probably. It's an act of humility, but also one of defiance against the constraints of his role as a priest. His disregard for his vow in this moment indicates that he is prioritizing his personal feelings and their connection over the rules and expectations of the Church. He even offered to pray together in the last update, fully aware that it's forbidden for Others to pray in churches. He was so needy for that contact with nova in this scene, he began sobbing in her arms. OH GOD GIVE ME STRENGTH!!!

They are irresistibly drawn to each other, finding in one another a reflection of their own doubts and hopes. Yet it's so painful to see their relationship oscillate between moments of tenderness and cold detachment, as both struggle with the knowledge that their love could destroy them. Renato's earlier confession about his doubts could be a pivotal moment, deepening their connection but also complicating it further, as nova now has to decide whether to trust him with the full truth that she has been discovered and that she actually feels relieved due to her newfound loyalty to Others... or continue her deception and risk putting him in danger due to the Incineration Alliance's mission.

I'm actually hopeful for him to finally see the wrongdoings of the Church and eventually choose to severe ties with them. This way, he can practice his faith freely without being bound to fake laws and feeling guilty about aiding them in harming people. Him and nova could finally be at peace with their minds and with each other.

[honeyhotteoks]

Okay I'm 5'7 too so thank you for your detailed description of the members and I'm not surprised but kinda am at the same time about their appearance??

Low-key love seeing all the live content but also feel left out as an Aussie atiny BUT I'm seeing skz in October so I'm excited for that!!

Speaking of their appearance, the members of skz are a lot more muscular in person than how they look.

I was expecting them to be skinny and boney but they all look incredibly strong and fit-even Han and Felix-

Han actually looks slightly more buff and muscly then Felix which surprised me and Lee Know is just as defined and muscular as Changbin which no one talks about.

Anyway- yunho brain rot.

I was listening to the audiobook of haunting Adeline because I finally caved in from the TikTok influence and my friend telling me how sexy the novel is.

Idk if it's because I'm going to therapy or I'm too old but I thought it was over-hyped-

I did love how the author described the themes of fear and stalking because when I did get tense when she'd leave the room, come back and there would be a 🌹 on the counter.

BUT I did get delulu and I was reading some scenes where zade is just consumed with Adeline and I was gasping 'like omg yunho could be like this' because his natal chart indicates if he was psychotic and unhealed enough- could delve into stalking territory.

And yes okay- this shit is toxic and scary and awful in real life BUT LET ME FANTASISE FOR A SECOND!

What if yunho was that borderline toxic boyfriend that just CANT leave you alone??

Watches you from afar, sends you messages all day-

Somnophilia thought here-

You don't live with yunho but have given him a key and go to bed with no panties on b/c it's a common occurrence he'll drive over in the middle of the night b/c it's been too long since he's felt you under him and he has to ravish you.

You wake up to his tongue on you clit as he moans and breathes your scent in which eventually leads to you making love with him as he virtually suffocates you with his body and words?

You're mine, you're not leaving me, I'm destined to be with you, on top of you, inside you, I can't breathe w/o you.

EMOTIONAL DAMAGE!!

MY FRIEND THE WAY YOU ALWAYS SERVE UP THE GREATEST IMAGERY OF ALL TIME TO RUIN ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

first of all........ love that you're seeing skz!!! i'm hoping if and when they announce tour dates for north america next year there's a chance for me to see them

as far as your yunho brainrot goes................. IM DIZZY. i love your natal chart content, and i've been so obsessed with the idea of yunho being like perfect boyfriend great guy................but................there's that part of him that just can't help being possessive and having this sense of ownership over his partner.

i was just actually reading a fic for another fandom along the lines of what you're describing and i was like YUNHO YUNHO YUNHO the whole time. i might write my own version but......... brainrot under the cut

so i think there's two yunho possibilities that i love within this like possessive/stalker/dubcon realm, and one is straight up like suuuuuper healthy relationship but they play with CNC in intense ways and do full on like roleplay OR my current favorite brainrot which aligns with your idea and the fic i was just reading which is like...... desperately obsessed desperately in love fully fixated on reader not leaving him because he just has to consume her fully at all times.

he and reader have been dating for a while and he's honestly the 10/10 perfect boyfriend (she thinks) only.... she knows he gets a little funny about certain things. when other guys talk to her he just has to have his hands on her, and when he worries about her he really worries, almost too much. he gets jealous about the funniest little things, and he's always nervous about change, he just doesn't want anything to burst their little bubble so much so that he's controlling the situation a little too much. but.... she also loves him, and he hasn't really stepped over the line of toxic.......... until she catches him stealing a pair of her panties and realizes his phone is full of pictures of her.

and it starts off like an argument, until he starts to confess his real fantasies. and he knows it might be too much, but she makes him so insane it's like he can't help himself. and the longer he talks about all of those fantasies, confessing how fucked he knows it is and how she really could do better, she just keeps getting more and more turned on. and it's shocking to her too, but she really fucking likes it. she's never had someone take care of her, really and truly take care of everything and just let her exist without having to make all the decisions or take control, and he's just offering it all to her on a platter she just has to let him take it.

and so while he thinks revealing his desires is about to break them up, and he's losing his fucking mind about it, she's ready to double down hard on the relationship and on what they do behind closed doors. so she shocks him when she not only agrees for more but asks for more.

and so that's when she gives him the key, that's when she tells him that he's allowed to come in whenever he wants. to touch her whenever he wants. she wants it all, but all she asks in exchange is that he stops hiding his desires from her, because that's what was driving the wedge between them. he's patient about using the new found control though, because he doesn't know what that will do for their relationship and she doesn't necessarily know what she's allowing him to do..... he can't smother her ALL at once.

but that changes when she falls asleep one night before texting him goodnight, she's been stressed and worn thin and he's not had the opportunity to see her let alone take care of her..... and he's feeling a little neglected too. and he waits a couple of hours for a response, but finally he decides it's time to use the key. so he drives over, slips in quietly, and finds her sound asleep, phone still clutched in her fingers and a video looping on repeat.

he's hard in a second, desperate in a second, and he has to do something about it. so he starts off slow, peeing off her clothes and gently teasing her nipples, getting a blush in her cheeks and making her perfectly hot and receptive to his tongue teasing her sweet clit.

she’s been so tired lately that she’s well and truly out, and she doesn’t really wake up until he’s teasing her wet cunt with his cock, not quite fucking her yet but everything in between. and when she wakes it’s mid-orgasm and desperate for more, and she's aware that something feels different but she just woke up and she's caught between realizing yunho is actually here and pushing himself inside her and thinking it might be a dream.

but he's whispering to her, clutching her close and begging her to just let him have this.... and of course she will, she agreed, but as she comes more and more into consciousness the feeling of him and his words start to make sense. he’s not wearing a condom for the first time ever, and that's not something they've ever agreed on going without before. she's just trying to figure out what is going on but he's fucking into her harder and deeper than before, with a whimpering need on his lips that makes her body curl up in pleasure and she knows she should stop him but truthfully she doesn't want to.

and while she clings to him, yunho's delirious. the feeling of having her completely, of knowing he's the only person who's ever been inside her fully with nothing between them, of knowing that the risk might be worth it. his mind starts to spin until he's a babbling mess, telling her he's going to leave a piece of himself behind for her, make them whole, make sure she can never ever leave.

and even though she knows it's a terrible idea, a decision only made in the middle of sex because it feels good, she finds herself clutching him closer, goading him on. no one has ever wanted her quite like he does and it makes her want to throw everything she's ever cared about right out the window if it means he'll look at her like this forever.

ANYWAYS now i have to write full lowkey toxic possessive yunho with a reader who is down to be fully consumed by him like AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

[dead-inside-demiboy]

Just some things I wanna let out after reading posts from the newest episodes. Not saying anyone is right or wrong, just giving my own perspective and analysis on some stuff for fun/brainrot reasons :)

I don't think the Darrien statement had anything to do with this one. My main reasoning for it is his is clearly dimension hopping and said effects of that, while this one on the other hand had the malnourishment come from living in her own fear, which is wandering alone in a house until she starved to death. And the additional injuries show that, with Darrien there wasn't any, while with Rachel there was the tissue damage on her feet and the fracture on her ankle.

Sam had a point in laughing about Mr. Bonzo, and not just because of how ridiculous the statement was. I think he was upset. Sam is a former gifted kid that crashed, hard, and clearly has a lot of insecurities when it comes to validation. He is upset he didn't get it from the Magnus Institute as a kid, and then later when his life fell apart. During his time at the OIAR, one of his main goals is to validate the creepy stuff that happened to him at the institute as a kid. You see it both when he goes crawling through the institutes ruins, and when he discusses if the statements are real with Celia. No offense to Alice, but she shuts the man down instantly when he reaches out to her over and over and it is likely not helping Sam with his insecurities at all. Before Gwen walked in the office, Sam had been reaching out, only to have Alice shut him down again (for good reason, but besides the point). He was already sensitive, and then for Gwen to finally, finally start to validate Sam's own experience, only to then say "You know Mr. Bonzo?" Sam likely felt as though she was baiting his insecurities only to take the piss out of him, hence the too loud laughter and the "You absolute asshole Gwen!" sentence. Idk, I think its important to remember that Sam is still human with issues that are capable of harming his relationships.

If a TMA fear has to be put on this statement, it would be the Lonely, none of the other ones fit in this one even a bit. I think what this fanbase forgets a lot of the time is that the fears aren't just the object or the creature, but in what they make their victim feel. For example a drowning statement could be vast, if it makes the person feel small in the large ocean, buried if it makes the victim feel trapped or claustrophobic, or end, if it makes them aware of their inevitable death. The type of fear is what defines the statement. So this statement would be fully lonely aligned, because yes there was talk of spiders, but none mentioned in the house itself. Yes there was rotting wood, but it served as a reminder that if Rachel were to fall or get injured, there would be nobody there to save her. Yes, the house was large, but it just served to show how empty it was. Yes, there were a lot of rooms and doorways and it was a labyrinth, but they didn't make her feel like she was going insane, they made her feel as though she would never get out, never see other people again.

Im surprised I haven't seen any foot fetish joke posts yet

[prototypesteve]

hi! I just came across your acc and read some of your posts and you seem a really inspiring individual. im a 18yo demisexual person who's really close to their queerness (both in the sexuality and gender aspects) as its a fundamental part of my individuality. and i dunno, both my being acespec and genderqueer are a tricky... thing to get into when i want to get into relationships. im trying to be happy by myself. and this was very random and all, but as you're an adult aroace (i see very very few of them) its inspiring to me knowing I can still have a good, normal life? while living in full authenticity. idk. sorry if this is random. you dont have to reply. your account was nice to come across. have a wonderful day

Thank you for this. This is why I’m here. Honestly this is most of why I came out. Seriously.

Being Different and “New”.

The world is catching up with you, so you’ll have to be patient sometimes. Language often outpaces feelings. People know how to address genderqueer (they know all the words) but they’re still learning how to process genderqueer (they’re deconstructing all the old gender “archetypes” and stereotypes they were taught by parents and teachers who didn’t address or process genderqueer in their day). They will figure it out, because they can see it’s real. But it’s frustrating, in the meantime.

Even our own community of LGBTQIA+ (in Canada we use 2SLGBTQIA+, leading with 2S for two-spirit) is catching up with us in a lot of ways. The queer community has largely thought of queer as for/about genderqueer, and so when they see aros and aces and demisexuals and demiromantics, they have to either accept or reject that there’s a whole other layer of queer called relationship queer who intersect and overlap with genderqueer inside the bigger (and for some “newly bigger”) queer category/world/thing.

Being alone.

Alone is a complicated word for us. Aspec people experience a few kinds of alone-ness. There’s completion, which allos sometimes don’t get. We’re complete inasmuch as aspec people don’t have as many spaces in their lives where they need an “other half,” even though many of us spend a lot of our lives being told we have that space and we need to fill it. I wrote about that, here.

Then there’s the way we can can feel isolated from the bigger queer world because of the ways some people refuse to accept asexuality and aromanticism as queer, because they see it as a cishet thing, somehow.

We can feel isolated from traditional communities built around faith, politics, ethnicity, national identity, or even generational identity (GenX was wiiiiildly amatonormative), all because our defining differences are falsely interpreted as “new”. People misread our orientation as a phase, or a “made up internet thing” even though we’ve always been here. For ages, the world didn’t want to talk about all the asexual, aromantic, demisexual, and demiromantic people they could see everywhere—unlabelled, but plain as day—and now that we want to talk about ourselves, they’re going to say “you’re making that up”.

Then there’s the alone-ness of trying to explain how we do love, but differently. That one’s hard. I think that’s the one I’m going through the most, this year.

“See Also”:

Anyway, here’s a poorly-sorted and always growing “library” of links to my most popular social media posts, and stuff I’ve learned as an older ace. The recurring theme is that it really is going to be okay.

I’m still me, but now I know why. (How I explain my “thing” to straight friends who knew me from before I came out.)

Phase (You don’t outgrow it. I’m proof.)

Complete (Our complex relationship with “Alone”)

1994 (The counsellor story)

When I realized (Slow origin story)

Lifeline (Something bad happened to me when I was young, and believe it or not, Spider-Man rescued me.)

Recipe for Disaster (When life happens BEFORE you figure out your orientations)

Sexual Induction rather than a sexual awakening. (Things won’t always follow the romance novel playbook.)

Complicated. (Being queer AND Christian.)

Din Djarin Aroace Rep (We love. We just mostly do all the other kinds of love)

Treasure (a note to my trans friends)

Happy Ace Week (yes we’re here)

Masked (About not being out to everyone)

Negotiating (About gaining “acceptance” from the bigger queer community.

[sasukeless]

2 If you’re still doing the controversial ask game

hi

2) was sasuke right?

ahh this billion dollar question isn’t it. i feel like this is the top 1 most discussed thing on this app for years, i have read every side of it.

to give #my opinion, im gonna go with yes. but its far more complicated, like most things are with naruto lol. i believe sasuke is right because he sees there’s a flaw in the existing system around him and to finally do something about it the only way to do that it’s to get ride of the system from the root.

now, as much as i agree with sasuke there i don’t agree with the way he tries to do that revolution. i dont mean this in a “oh violence wont be fixed with more violence” bs. i mean this because where sasuke’s goals are born for and how they affect his plans.

when sasuke finishes listening to the kages and it’s coming up with his thoughts, he immediately is bombarded by memories of itachi (itachi only, not his clan) and itachi’s words to him. when he states he will not let the village be destroyed he does it by adding “itachi’s will”. when sasuke is dying in the war arc his only thoughts again are that he doesn’t want to waste what itachi wanted to die. this shows us very clearly that sasuke’s revolution is very influenced by itachi’ wants. a little different, sure but still the same. which makes sense why his goal at vote2 is destroy the last person he loves and bear the hatred of everyone so the villages can have peace between them as long as they focus all on him. and this is quite what itachi did, just on a bigger scale. naruto = uchiha clan. the villages = konoha. sasuke = itachi.

^this is where many people complain that kishimoto had to turn sasuke ooc to make him evil and i can see what they mean but personally i dont view it as such when i look at what sasuke’s arc has always been. i have seen also that they dislike that post reveal sasuke’s character seems to be focus on itachi more than in his clan like in part 1 which i also disagree. itachi has been sasuke’s main influence in his character since day one. even in part 1, sasuke’s hate towards itachi isn’t just because he killed his clan, kishimoto focuses alot in showing itachi and sasuke having a loving relationship. kishimoto is very specific that sasuke’s biggest grief at the end of the day is not the massacre alone but the fact it was itachi who committed it. this is essentially what sets sasuke aside of other characters that lost their family/clans/parents etc. its not only what he lost but by who’s hands he lost it. so his focus has always been in itachi. so i dont think it was only part 2 that sasuke became more driven by itachi than anything else… anyways going back to the topic because im going off the rails (sorry).

sasuke has always had itachi first imo. and sasuke has always been defined by love too so ofc he’s gonna forgive the person he loves even if he doesn’t deserve it, ofc he’s gonna try to achieve that peace his brother “sacrificed” his life for (even if thru different means that he wanted you to). but while i understand and love sasuke’s character, i still think these are all very personal reasons for his revolution plans and thus why it fails.

his revolution plans are also self destructive but he doesn’t care because he still views it as his ultimate duty (again why he was so distraught when he was about to die without doing anything). he wants to become the bearer of all evil, and pain and hatred and wants to be all alone, even tho that is something that has caused alot of his pain in the past, he even talks about possible immortality and its just, well sad. you can tell hes about to sell his own doom because he thinks thats what he has to do to fix everything. he is ready to become a martyr. and forgive me but i view as that as a very tragic

so while i will always view him as being in the right, because when you put him in comparasion to most characters that doesnt realize whats wrong w the shinobi world, he will always come as one of the few that actually isn’t blind (even if its framed as bad for pointing that the system needs to be destroyed), i still dont think his plans are the right ones

[victimsofyaoipoll]

Round 1

Propaganda under the cut

Mipha

Honestly she's not just a victim of yaoi, tbh. Basically: she canonically had a massive crush on the protagonist, Link, which consistently gets swept under the rug or ignored entirely in favor of shipping Link with her brother Sidon, their fellow champion Revali, or Zelda herself. She deserves nice things and so many people just... completely overlook her??

She has a crush on Link, but so does her younger brother Sidon, who is much more affable and outgoing. Link/Sidon is the more popular ship. Mipha gets a lot of flak for being a weak female character who's only defined by her romantic relationship to the protagonist. That's not really fair; she has her own storyline about being the golden girl from her town who everyone looks up to, and the hole that's left in the town after her death. It is unfortunate that she is better remembered as the less compelling corner of a love triangle.

The princess of the Zora, sweetheart of the Zora's Domain. Champion pilot of the Divine Beast Vah Ruta. Master healer, cut down in her prime by an ancient evil. But you wouldn't know it, because she's reduced to someone who was in love with Link (the game's protagonist), and therefore has to be sidelined and villainized to ship Link with her younger brother Sidon or her fellow Champion Revali.

Zelda

She spent 100 years in a metaphysical wrestling match with an ancient and primal evil after seeing it destroy almost everyone and everything she held dear in the hopes of saving the few that remained and Link's main goal after HIYAHing his way out of a amnesia-inducing coma was to come in and tag team said evil in order to save her and like 90% of the memories he can regain focus on their relationship with each other and its gradual improvement up to the point where Link fucking dies protecting her and it's the push she needs to awaken the power to push back the blight and PEOPLE ARE STILL OUT THERE IN THEIR POST-CANON FANWORKS TRYING TO TELL ME THAT LINK FUCKS OFF AND LEAVES HER ALONE TO GO SMOOCH THE HOT FISH PRINCE BECAUSE ZELDA WAS BEING TOO OVERBEARING OR WHATEVER AND HE COULDN'T DEAL WITH THE EXPECTATION??? LIKE ZELDA'S WHOLE FUCKING ARC WASNT ALSO ABOUT HER STRUGGLING WITH EXPECTATION AND FAILING TO LIVE UP TO IT AND YOU WANT ME TO BELIEVE THIS WUALITY THEY BOTH OSTENSIBLY HAVE IN COMMON WOULD DRIVE A WEDGE BETWEEN THEM?? WHERE'S ZELDA YOU COWARDS?? I DON'T EVEN CARE IF YOU DON'T WANT HER AND LINK TO BE TOGETHER, JUST STOP DIMINISHING THE GRAVITY OF THEIR RELATIONSHIP AND MAKING ZELDA SUCK FOR NO REASON. SHE'S A BIG NERD! SHE GETS TOO IN HER OWN HEAD! SHE'D DO ANYTHING TO HELP THE PEOPLE SHE CARES ABOUT! SHE UNASHAMEDLY AND EXCITEDLY TRIED TO FEED HER PERSONAL KNIGHT A LIVE FROG IN THE NAME OF SCIENCE! HOW CAN YOU NOT LOVE HER 

Im specifically saying botw Zelda here because oh my gOSH this poor girl can get made out to be like a horrible bitch when people. want link to get that shark dick. on average she doesnt get thattttt badly treated compared to some others but goddamn.

title character but people hate her because they want link to get w sidon. so she gets fridged or entirely forgotten even though shes literally his canonical soulmate and they have been reincarnated together hundreds of times (w ganon but whether u make em poly or make him the long suffering third wheel is up to you). people will be like oh but zelda was mean to him that one time (??). be serious w me rn. she just got removed from fandom entirely and if that isnt the epitome of victim of yaoi idk what is.

[genderqueerdykes]

heya

i can't sleep because my sexuality in relationship to my gender has been bothering me.

im transmasc, but genderfluid. not just boy/girl genderfluidity, it's all over the place. and i feel like i identify with being a gay man sometimes, and i also go through periods of feeling like a masculine lesbian.

i know how controversial this is and it breaks my heart because i can't figure out what to do. i know my identity should be for me, but i don't want to make people uncomfortable if i come off as a boy who's a lesbian sometimes.

also i feel intense imposter syndrome over this when i switch around. but it undeniably makes me feel like myself when i say I'm a transmasc genderfluid bi lesbian, which makes me feel good of course. i just wish i could stop feeling bad about it

is any of this normal and is there any other genderfluid ppl with complicated relationships to their sexuality? i feel alone here i guess

love your blog btw makes me happy and validated when i read what you and your followers have to say to people 💖

hello! thanks for stopping by!

i think it can be very easy to work ourselves up and over think things when it comes to how people will receive us in queer spaces- online queer spaces have been needlessly hostile over the past few years, mostly due to the relative anonymity and virtually zero consequences for being harmful and rude. it's okay to get scared sometimes

it may seem 'contradictory' or 'controversial' but it isn't that uncommon to go from identifying as a gay man to identifying as a masculine lesbian! genderfluidity means your genders can be. whatever. there's no set rules, and it's okay if your attraction changes when your gender does. mine does, as well. abrosexual and abroromantic may suit you

you don't have to pass any tests or anything like that to be successfully seen as genderfluid, it's okay if you change to be whatever, whenever. i always identify as a butch lesbian & a femme gay bear, all the time, no matter how I feel or who is fronting in my system. while some cishets may not get it, most queer people i explain this to say "oh yeah, i totally caught that vibe"

it can be scary to have "Strange" identities, but the meaning of "queer" is literally "weird" and having a weird identity falls right in line with the community. you're allowed to be a transmasculine lesbian, and you are even allowed to be a male/boy lesbian- there is no actual cosmic rule stating that lesbians cannot be men, partially men, or be genderfluid and be men sometimes

regardless of how others perceive you, you know who you are. you are the arbiter of your lived experience, and while someone misinterpreting you can be painful and inconvenient, it shouldn't define your experience. if people don't understand, keep going til you find the ones who do, and the ones who try to. even if people don't "Get" your gender, there are a lot of folks who will respect it, anyways, and you deserve that

hope that helps and makes sense. take care of yourself, good luck out there. there are no rules when it comes to be genderfluid. genderfluid people are encouraged to fuck with gender, rules, roles, presentation, etc. and it's only natural that a genderfluid person will have identities that "conflict" when approached through a non-queer lens. identities don't have to "make sense", they are mostly comprised of feelings !

good luck out there! feel free to stop by again

[inaisabelle]

bachira x f! reader but there is a special kind of depth in their relationship

its like no other. <3

y/n is bachira's friend from childhood: she's been with him since the age of 10 and has seen him come and go with the sport of football. she's jumped with him during his moments of joy and cradled him in the corners of his room during his blue-colored days.

you guys stick together. all the time. 25/8 to the point ya mamas wondered if you guys stuck gorilla glue to both of yalls side.

a lot of things between you just grow with no verbalization. yalls friendship turns into a relationship -- it grows silently, not verbally. bachira has feelings for you my guy and its far from the platonic line. he likes (LOVES) you romantically and sees you as you.

'course, you do too.

now older and wiser, when you both get asked what the both of you are in terms of relationship, bachira always replies with a, "she's my friend."

anyone who asks is baffled and internally winces, subtly looking for your reaction; they've seen how you both act with one another and yallz eyes do NOT look at each other platonically.

but, you lack the expression of pain and hurt. in fact, you look even more smitten than you did a few seconds ago. WTF. ????

like yes, ouch-wtf???. but also, im-gonna-sob-wtf????

we know how bachira has trauma with being alone and shit because bitch ass bitches + how he probably had no friends during his childhood. until,,,,, YOU! came along. n so you being special to him was a good given.

bcos of this, i hc that the word "friend" is extremely sacred to bachira. its so significant to him. of course it is! thats what couldve stopped his trauma from developing. that shouldve been the rock, the pillar that supplied him with strength when he was younger. but he never got that. he only has his mom and later, you.

when youre a child, you don't consciously define whats romantic love and what isnt, you just know love as a level-up from the word "like" and think of being a child surrounded by peers. surrounded by friends who experience life with you. who bond with you and grow to cherish you.

so no. by word, bachira does not call you his significant other.

rather, he calls you his friend, his pillar of strength and source of life. the person he wants to be with for the rest of his life. that's what makes you endearingly and irreplaceably special to him.

yeehaw everyone the bachira brainrot is real HIS SMILE I PROTECC 5EVER

[cptn-merica]

thoughts on peggy carter

i think my biggest issue with peggy carter is marvel is trying to push agendas and pander to audiences as a cop out for formulating a dynamic character. it's obvious she's supposed to be a feminist icon. that's totally cool. i appreciated that as a kid, since i was sick of women being portrayed as weak. the way i see it, peggy suffers from weak portrayal, not portrayal that she's weak.

--

before the peggy fans comment/reblog, "omg not another stucky blog posting peggy hate. leave her alone!!" i don't hate peggy, I just want a clearer picture of who she is. i enjoyed her in the mcu but i wish marvel would've given her justice within the writing. this isn't hate for hayley atwell either. she did really good in her acting, enough so i watched more movies with her in it intentionally.

--

peggy always read to me as a half-developed side character -- no matter if she's the main character. my one of my biggest complaints is that she seems to have little to no motive. motive is what drives people and your main character having consistently unclear motives is sloppy writing.

helping steve? sure, she's his commanding officer and she seemed to like him.

"win the war"? well sure, that was a lot of other people's motives in ww2. why did she even join the war anyways? what convinced her to sign up? she didn't have to, she could've done other work. what was so compelling about the war to her?

for the what if episode: why'd she choose to take the super serum?

my point here is: there are too many points where one questions why she did ___ that could have been better defined (esp in the what if series).

--

marvel can make her much more interesting (and to me appealing) character by not putting her in comparison to steve. they would be forced to solidify her character instead of wimping out and saying "well she's the love interest." I'm not saying that she can't have both a relationship and be a strong woman - many women have/are both. however, when your entire personality depends on your relationship to one person, it's not very healthy or wise.

the concept of marvel pushing for steve and peggy's relationship is fine, that's how romance novels are made. but the lax follow-through on character development removes my interest for the ship. how good romance novels bring interest to each character is by establishing them. they also used peggy as way to pander for chris evans himself - she was an easy way to get steve rogers out of upcoming plot lines. (side note: chris evans is totally justified in not wanting to work for marvel anymore, they just should've handled his character's ending less sloppily)

as for the ship - i would see more value in the steve x peggy ship if i could tell what type of person peggy is. especially when you take away steve. i see value and interest in steve and bucky because, even though bucky was made as a sidekick to steve, he has a strong character. would i want to see him even more fleshed out? yeah, ofc. would i say he's more fleshed out than peggy? yes, because in one movie you can tell who bucky is and why he's doing things. i see why people ship steve and peggy, and I see why people ship steve and bucky. both stances are valid.

i haven't seen it yet nor i do know if i will watch it due to personal time and budget constraints, but i hope that the agent carter series strengthens her character.

ultimately, peggy is the victim of poor and sexist writing.

(note:: this is my personal opinion & analysis, based on the first two cap movies and the what if series. im not speaking for anyone but myself. if you feel like her character is rich enough and you're satisfied by her portrayals, that's great, I just wanted to share my stance. again, i don't hate peggy, I just want a clearer picture of who she is and why she does what she does)

[ffredmujkic]

wonderfully bizarre by bendigo fletcher is such a fish and chips song.

"And if I were to win for you the skin of a timbered snake - Would you consider me your comfort in danger?" it shows so much of gillions thinking that he could only be loved if hes earned it if hes able to show himself as someone useful.

"you could wear me like a ring" something something abt gil being status symbol. (the whole line in his, if u give fish a family, abt being adored but alone) going back to had habits (even if aware of their harm)

"You'd be the mercy under my cruelty- My revelation, bloodshed free" gillion's journery through out the campaign, his biggest change is being kinder. gentler. early campaign gil always chose violence, he saw that the only responsible action to take against a villian was to cut off their head. hes soften so much over the campaign. hes always been caring yet through his friendships with chip (and jay this just isnt abt them) he learns different methods to handling problems.

"Do you wanna get married at the Cherokee Cemetery?" he just wants to get married. hes unlearned at lot a LOT of toxic unhealthy things. but he clearly upholds marriage as still an important and loving act. i think that while their relationship is very anarchic, gil would still love a wedding. (purely my own headcannon tho)

"Where the blue grass creeps over deep decades of devotion. Warm underneath the frost" come on.

in the context of gillion though this can be further, hes incredible loyal to the undersea though it never cared for him in return. A country that made him harsh and serious despite his real personality when allowed to relax. the frost can be a strong yet harmful loyalty to the undersea. (it reminds me of that even if im stretching) his friendship with chip and jay allowing him to feel a genuine devotion which is beneficial too him, that is reciprocated.

"We can build a home in a bush of azaleas- Dress it up in true morale paraphernalia- You'll never be alone in your bad dreams- Because together we could never be lost"

gillion was taken away from his family at an early age. chip was an orphan with no memory of even his name, to than get his adopted family ripped away from him. his attempts to form a new one forcing him into a gang. the two of them have been alone for a very very long time with no family or even friends, no home of their own. gillion constantly failed in his training. chip is implied to have done things he didnt always want to do to make price happy. yet despite earlier bumps in the relationship, them clashing each disagreement helps to deepen their bond as they figure out whats okay with with each other. and they really are never alone after finding each other

"your eyes prescribe a meaning for everything I do. I even find myself believing most of the words I say as true" the most impactful moment for chip what enable him to grow into the person he becomes over the course of the campaign is the fight in epsiode 15. it forced chip to address his actions have hurt hurt someone he was growing to care abt. chip said he wouldn't lie to gil anymore and he meant it. theres times where he tries to lie and cuts himself off. they built a home with trust and communication

"We can build a home in a bush of azaleas" since the line is repeating ill only say, they feel so comfortable around each other. all three captains are each others home. but especially chip and gil the way they are always seeking each other, their friend's name always on the tip of their toungue.

"We can be defined by the things we want"

a major theme in the show (or at least grizzly is trying to make it into one) is desire. gillion while having a lot of autonomy, driving a lot of the plot. he is also honor bound to a internal law where he must always protect others. gillion never acts out of a true selflessness, his actions are born from being taught that this is simply how he should operate. Because he is inherently worthless than all those around him, he has been assigned to protect. Never does gil think abt himseld if it concerns another life. gillion must be selfless, he is never allowed to want for himself. which is wonderfully contrasted by chip who is always seen as a selfish bastard despite not behaving like it in a while.

"I'll be a life full of free haircuts from the one that I love" chip in his happiet dream imagines himself with all his crew and arlin hanging out happily on the albatross. chip always pictures himself doing this pirate thing forever, but he is only 19. and with the trauma that its brought him, the constant risking your life. i think its fair to say that what he actually wants is just a simple life with his friends

[freebooter4ever]

So you guys know i (try to) post daily doodles, and i have said before that i draw for about 2-3 hrs every night. BUT that also means i dont post about like 80-90% of the drawings i do each night. Today though, i've been thinking about A*I and my own relationship with drawing, and how utterly baffled i am that anyone would want to use it to like...draw for them..and how the concept that *tell a computer what art to do so i dont have to do it* is alien to me. So here's ALL the drawings i did tonight. The bottom one is the last one i did and the one i would normally post. And i want to talk about A*I without talking about good or bad end product. Because i dont care if im making the shittiest art in the universe - i still wouldn't use A*I. Not even as a ‘tool’.

If you've been around here for a while you know i have a love/hate relationship with my art. I write too, but writing doesnt make me so frustrated and angry that i want to throw my computer out a second story window. HOWEVER. There is a huge caveat to that anger.

It happens after.

You could look at it a little like hockey. Every game is fresh, right? I mean god knows the US made an entire movie about how every game is a new game and the odds could always fall in your favor no matter how stacked against you. So every drawing i go into it excited - like LOOK at that reference material, its gorgeous. The gesture is beautiful, the post is interesting, there is something about it that is just begging to be drawn. But then say you hit intermission in the hockey game and the opposing team scored a few points. And i step back and look at the drawing and realize i started to go wrong somewhere along the way. But its too late now, you gotta commit and keep going. And you do but somehow the final score is STILL 6 to 0 and thats when i want to flush all my art down the toilet and never look at it again. But its okay because the next drawing is going to start with a blank canvas and who cares what happened last time.

Ok maybe a bad example.

The product is never really what drives me to draw - i mean, sure i do like it a heck of a lot better when i have something /anything/ that i can post to show that im sticking with my everyday doodle. But its not a requirement to doodling. The process of drawing is always fun. Its when i come out of it and look at the stupid thing that im like ‘well fuck i fucked that one up again didnt i’, and THEN i get annoyed lol.

I dont sit there consumed with frustration over ‘gee i dont know what to draw’. This is never an issue. I HAVE TOO MUCH TO DRAW. Sometimes i avoid certain gifs/photos because in the back of my mind im like ‘yeah no, i havent leveled up that far yet, i cant do that justice’. But i dont want to admit the sheer number of images of geno alone i have saved. I think my biggest reference folder is still aoki and that has over two thousand screenshots - i dont think anyone will ever surpass that LOL. I have a never ending supply of practice art to be done.

The frustration comes when i have an image in my head and i want to get it down on paper so-to-speak (computer whatever). So - when im NOT using reference (or at least not an exact one) and am making an ‘illustration’ (ish). But again, the process isn't the issue. I like the act of drawing, i like the image in my head slowly taking shape, i like how vividly i can see it. Yall know how obsessed i am with personality - that's not just part of the drawing, that IS the drawing. And each deicision in the illustration is defined by the personality/character.

A computer can't fucking do this.

Could i maybe tell a computer ‘draw geno in the shower’. Sure. And it probably could. And if i didnt care about the process - if all i wanted was a very good drawing of geno in the shower....that probably would be fine. Maybe great even. Maybe it would be the best damn drawing of geno in the shower ever. And then i'd feel like shit because a machine is producing art that is more valuable to other people than mine ever will be. But holy fucking shit that ruins the entire POINT of drawing???? Why would you do that?

I mean, im sure yall can infer the entire point of the act of drawing geno in the shower. He's hot, he's wet. ANYWAY.

In my opinion, a person who wants the end product and doesn't care about the process of getting there....that person is not an artist. That person is someone who enjoys art, and probably thinks they have a lot of good ideas to make into art, but who doesn't feel that pull to make art themselves. They just want to buy art. And they want it cheap. And mindless computers being trained in seconds on the decades of creativity and hard work of art masters is a heck of a lot cheaper than a human.

And the hardest part of all this for me is how worthless this makes me feel - nobody wants you, they want that automatic button. Kinda like my dad that way (haha)

[agp]

the equating of nonbinary identity with trans identitity on nonbinary terms is at worst transphobic and at best a strategic mistake in this society. we are assigned various genders at birth and come to claim various genders throughout our lives. in colonial western patriarchal society we are universally assigned a binary set of genders. because of this we do not have cis nonbinary people in the sense that they were neither assigned male nor female. colonial institutions of education and healthcare on turtle island and abroad ensure our assignment into gendered categories that allign with cisexism to render us intelligible to its logic.

therefore, within this colonial society, access to claiming various genders is informed, policed, and privileged through, among other things, birth assignment, and since this same society limits assignment to a particular binary, it does not recognize other assignments nor the notion of a cisgender nonbinary person within its bounds. to be cisgender and nonbinary would imply being assigned nonbinary and as such unintelligible to the binary logic of cisexism, and this, conveniently, is said to never happen.

cis and trans can be their own stand alone things if you want them to be. but theyre disarmed as political tools when theyre divorced from the gendered colonial institutions that govern us and the flows they engender are thus hidden from us. to 'be' cis or trans here and now is simply to have a differing relationship between a gender you claim and whether it was assigned to you at birth - a relationship defined by the violence of the institutions that produce our differences. transmisogyny in this society particularly targets those coercively assigned male at birth specifically because it only recognizes binary assignment and provides those coerced 'the other way' with a particular form of exemption from this violence by that act.

im a nonbinary woman. there are various other nonbinary people with various relationships to womanhood. some have a relationship that is transgender like myself because i was assigned male at birth and this is how cisexism understands me. others have a relationship that is cisgender, and while many continue to identify with and perform womanhood at various times, many will categorically reject this categorization for various reasons.

some will point to the earlier notion of 'cis nonbinary' to insist thats what being cis and nonbinary is, and thats not what they are. some will point to their relationship to womanhood as one of compultion and compromise to say its not the same if its a mask. some will point to their own lack of womanhood to say there is no womanhood to describe as cisgender. they are all correct, but none of these are reasons to reject the notion of nonbinary people having a differing relationship to womanhood informed by cisexism and transmisogyny.

the reason we reject this language is because of the shame it carries in our communities. it is shameful to be associated with cis people and trans women in our communities. it is encouraged to silence trans women when we challenge anyone on anything but especially cisexism, and it is especially those who are transmisogyny-exempt who refuse to consider us. it is encouraged not to call people cis because it is an insult. it is encouraged not to listen to us because its just as insulting.

well i think its insulting to me as a trans person every time a cafab nonbinary person who lives part of their life in the closet as a nonbinary person needs to use the language of trans people to describe their personal distance from their birth assignment. thats not what cis and trans mean. me rejecting the manhood that was coerced onto me does not change the nature of that coerction or the meaning it holds in a cisexist society. my relationship to manhood is cisgender and theres nothing i can do about that. im just not a man. if i was also man that shouldnt change my trans womanhood. transness is about your relationship to the genders your claim and has nothing to do with whether you identify with the one you were initially forced into. that distance is irrelevant.

and its made impossible to have respectful public discourse about my relationship with manhood as a trans woman because of the weight these institutions carry. yeah frankly i wish i could say trans women have a form of conditional cis privilege relative to maleness. but i need ten paragraphs of this shit to pad it up to feel less likely to be retaliated against.

the most insulting and ignorant version of this shutdown is honestly the simplest to understand as a product of cisexism: 'nonbinary people just use whatever pronouns they were assigned when they compromise and i dont know why you would do this to yourself'

[mamawasatesttube]

Flamebird Kon Guy again (I should start leaving some kinda signature), and Yes!! There’s so much about Krypton and it’s culture that cna be played with, and just barely gets touched on in regards to Kon and the other Kents and then being immigrants!! Like, on Krypton, clones literally had a civil war, and then centuries later, all of the children were born artificially anyways. Literally, Kon would be considered Clark’s kid by their standards, and that’s just never brought up or talked about!!

I’m a bit denier of the Bad Dad Clark fanon shit, but I do want to say, it would be so so INTERESTING to see this type of scenario played with. Kon who compares himself to Clark constantly, and has expressed insecurity over Clark keeping secrets from him and what he (Kon) means to him. And like, Clark has always rushed to assure Kon whenever these insecurities are made known, so something like this would have so much potential!!

But DC is too busy being Mfing haters 😒😒

Anywhores, sorry for the tangent. But this also plays into why I love Flamebird!Kon so much! Because there’s so much that can be explored with Kon taking that name. Imagine Clark telling him about Flamebird, a creature of passion who destroys not because she takes pleasure in it, but because it’s her duty to keep the spark from going out. Kon proudly wearing a name that Clark said he would be a good fit for, and every time they’re together or every time he’s alone, he can’t help but preen because it’s another name that Clark bestowed upon him, and that means something!!

okay first off "anywhores" cracked me up so shoutout to that <3. i just didnt see that coming at ALL hdfjkshdkjHd

anyway. yeah "bad dad clark" is my enemy and i'm setting this particular bit of fanon on fire and throwing it off a cliff. like... here's the nicest guy in the world! also he just hates this teenager for no reason. GET REAL. it's SOOOO much more interesting to give them a nuanced relationship (i also don't subscribe to them having a 100% nuclear family label in any way; i think it's somewhere between "brothers" and "father/son" and also both of them at the same time and also neither. no label fits them too well outside of simply "family"). but them having the struggle of "kon, esp younger early-in-his-narrative kon, craving parental affection from clark, who isn't quite able to give that to him the way he wants" is ABSOLUTELY my cup of tea and im so here for adding the extra layer of old kryptonian vs newer kryptonian culture as a further confounding variable. let them be complex and multifaceted!! the love is there but so are the issues, etc.

re: that last paragraph i can't also help but think of The Agonies... kon defining himself so much by clark's pride in him as a concept makes me wail into my hands. it's in-character Esp again when he's younger but also babygirl you are also your own person!!!! id love a narrative w flamebird kon where he first is so proud of it bc of clark but then grows to forge his own connection to flamebird's mythos and the deity herself too, in addition to the connection to his heritage through clark. kon's narrative re: individuality is just so gripping to me (even if we kinda have to imagine a lot of it bc dc does not want to deliver lmao) and that could be such a fun additional angle on it.

also this whole thing in general made me remember again how mad i am that rebirth just completely nuked the entire kon & clark relationship. clark just doesnt fucking remember him and by the looks of it/the way they wrapped it up so neatly re: house of kent arc, he never will. what the fuck!!!!! rebirth get out of my house bendis do NOT interact!!!!!!

[mbti-notes]

Anon wrote: Hi, I hope you are doing well. I have a question about Detachment.

(1) I’ve since gone through college and therapy. I love my therapist and feel like I don’t need her but shared a lot in common. I felt understood and she said I actually have an incredible amount of empathy. I don’t know if it’s useful. I’m an INFP, most likely. Im also asd, ocd, and potentially adhd.

I’ll miss her insights and the therapeutic relationship. It was detached but felt like mutual care without her breaking down all the time or anything when I said something sad. I wanted to understand the whole time, how was she so stoic yet so empathetic, compassionate, and insightful. It made me think of how brenee brown says shes always alone. We all are technically. But I want to keep in touch with this person. She said to keep her posted on my life updates. I understand what the therapeutic relationship meant but I want to see what she does for 2 seconds. I worry therapists are often lonely from having this perspective and I worried she’s an infj like my sister.

I want to be a therapist now, because I’m so interested in growing, helping, learning, and being like her. I wanted to be a farmer for a bit, because I had a mentor. And i know who I am now, and have tools and universal truths. And im easier on myself. But I deeply want to understand her. Is that ego?

(2) i read that INFJs are detached due to intuition at the front while INFPs are attached. Am I mistaken? Sometimes I’ll feel guilt over how a person wants to get to know me or if I’m seeming cold or stressed. But I don’t like everyone. I attach my feelings to people who are in my business or rude/annoying, instead of seeing it as their thing. People get to me.

(3) I can’t articulate it well, but if everyone is an individual with seperate values and needs, it’s unethical to feel attached to anyone. But there are rules like working, and contributing. So it’s like helping out of principle. I don’t fully understand because I can get friends and meet my other needs without wanting to bother my therapist. I still love her though. She played a big part in my life. I felt spiritually connected but could be projecting. It’s just I don’t feel a seperation. I felt merged, then seperated. I’m autistic and stuff, but I care lots. I just wonder if she sees the world like my sister whos an infj. I hope I can see their perspective because I want to feel detached if it’s reality.

----------------------

(1) I wouldn't call it ego. It sounds like you want to be friends with her because you feel a connection? Nothing wrong with that. Whatever professional relationship you have with someone, it is possible to make it into a personal one if you happen to click with them.

A relationship issue NFPs often run into is not defining their relationships well. This can be a problem because boundaries remain incredibly fuzzy, which makes it easy to inadvertently overstep them and cause messy and unpredictable interactions. If you want to have a proper relationship with someone, whether platonic or romantic, you both have to agree to what the relationship ought to be and set realistic boundaries that reflect the kind of relationship it is.

You haven't done this with her, so the relationship seems to exist in a gray area, a sort of limbo. If you want more from this relationship rather than just the occasional update, then you have to be more assertive in expressing your needs/wants and seeing whether she's willing to reciprocate in kind.

(2) You are mistaken because you are oversimplifying and perhaps stereotyping. Do people not use more than one function, and do individuals not express their functions in their own unique way?

INFJs might be detached until they care deeply through Fe, and they are capable of caring about many things at once. INFJs with healthy and mature Fe do not suffer from loneliness. INFPs might be quite oblivious until they get attached through Fi. Functions don't operate in a vacuum; context and circumstances matter as well.

I'm always warning people NOT to view each other as stereotypes, as it constitutes a misinterpretation and misapplication of type theory. If learning about personality type causes you to think of people in more simple rather than more complex terms, then something is awry.

Don't play guessing games unless you actually want to create misunderstanding and conflict. Speculation easily leads to assuming that you know what's in someone's heart/mind when you really have no clue. The best way to know the truth of someone is through clear and authentic communication with them.

(3) I'm not sure I understand this point you're making. I think your concept of "individuality" is flawed because you seem to hold contradictory beliefs. On one hand, you say every individual is unique. On the other hand, you seem to think that people are basically interchangeable to you because you can get your needs met from anyone. Which is it? Are people unique or not?

You also seem to imply that human beings are islands and that no real ethical connection can form between them, which is false. Humans evolved to be social creatures and we all have the same set of universal needs. We have more in common with each other than not, though people often forget this fact because they are too easily distracted by the differences. Commonality is one important way people bond with each other and form meaningful relationships.

Individuality comes into the picture when different people rank and express their needs differently and want to use different ways to satisfy their needs. Why do you think you get along better with some people more than others? You can be an individual but still share much in common with certain people if the both of you happen to rank your needs in a similar way and have a similar worldview.

There is something you're getting from her that you can't get from others because it is unique to her. That is why you feel the desire to get closer to her specifically. You can be a unique individual and still experience kinship with someone who shares a lot in common with you. Individuality and communion can both exist at the same time. Beware of either/or thinking and the way it limits your view of the world (it is something that those on the spectrum often struggle with).

[tadpolesonalgae]

im sooooo curious and excited to see how this will affect mor and feyre's relationship, bc their friendship in canon is smth i adore and seeing it be tested? and seeing them fight/argue is going to be so interesting 🤭🤭🤭 like one of my fav moments in the series is literally when they had a fight during the war bc feyre ran off alone to catch a suriel.. smth abt seeing two ppl who clearly care and love each other having their bond get tested is very interesting to me

also, from what we saw of the cbmthy reader so far in the past chapters, i don't think she'd have a dramatic falling out with ppl in the ic?? she's pretty much very passive but still stubborn in her own way, so i imagine that even if mor comes to her senses eventually and apologizes or tries to make amends with reader, she'd just respond like "oh it's okay, i already forgot about it!" even if she's probably eternally haunted by what mor said and i can see her being cordial and polite to mor bc she doesn't want to put feyre in an awkward situation but never opening her heart to her again or at least not for a veryyy long time 😭

‘smth abt seeing two ppl who clearly care and love each other having their bond get tested is very interesting to me’

I know what you mean? (I think) And sometimes I wonder if it’s problematic thinking on my part but honestly I think it’s a case that on a foundational level there’s something soothing to an unreachable part of one’s mind that glories over seeing two people struggle and have their bond be tested but survive? To see them have difficulties but return to one another so they aren’t left alone.

(In my opinion, obviously)

‘also, from what we saw of the cbmthy reader so far in the past chapters, i don't think she'd have a dramatic falling out with ppl in the ic??’

I honestly agree, but I don’t think that would prevent her from having a negative bond with someone? While it might not be outright aggressive, I think because of the kind of person reader is (someone who readily accepts bad things that happen to her without fight, whether they’re real or whether they’re things she’s told herself) it might make her pretty good at handling that kind of coldness? The worst thing Mor can do (and arguably has done) is confirm reader’s doubts—and reader’s already been putting herself through that hurt.

(At least, up until she tried to kill herself)

‘so i imagine that even if mor comes to her senses eventually and apologizes or tries to make amends with reader, she'd just respond like "oh it's okay, i already forgot about it!"’

Especially since that’s what happened with Az 🤦 I suppose we’ll just have to see how their relationship evolves 😳👀

‘but never opening her heart to her again or at least not for a veryyy long time 😭’

It will be kind of interesting to see whether reader allows that interaction with Mor to define all her future ones too? It was one of the few moments in cbmthy where reader’s the one actively doing something about her situation and it ended pretty badly, so it’ll be fun to see if reader will be able to move past that and do it again, even if it might hurt her :)