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cerise-on-top · 10 months

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Poly!141 x Reader

Imagining being in a happy and healthy relationship with these four has worked wonders for my mental health, it's unbelievable. So naturally, I was gonna write something about this. And I will write about this again because they bring me so much joy and I adore these lads.

Once the fighting is done and they can finally relax with each other and you, no matter how brief the respite may be, you can be absolutely certain you’ll be caught between Johnny and Kyle. John is usually too busy to come cuddle immediately and Simon needs to be coaxed into the pile. It doesn’t take a lot of coercion, though. If he’s tired enough you can simply beckon him closer and he’ll wrap himself around whoever’s nearest.

John needs to be dragged away from work, though, which is a lot harder to accomplish. Fortunately, Simon is strong enough to simply pick him up and carry him to the couch. John proceeds to tell all of you that he’ll indulge you for five minutes only, but that has been a lie every single time since he has a tendency to fall asleep when surrounded by the warmth of his beloveds.

It’s fairly domestic with the four of them, actually. Sure, they can be rowdy boys who do like to fight and spar with each other, especially Kyle, Johnny and sometimes Simon, but whoever so graciously cooks that day will receive a kiss on their temple as well as Simon’s assistance. He has a sixth sense for when someone in the household needs something and helps them out however he can. He’s not such a bad cook either, he knows quite a few recipes since he’d been alone for a long time.

Kyle spent a lot of time outside the UK, so he knows quite a bit on how to prepare exotic foods from where he had been. John, too, can cook quite well, even better than Simon. Johnny, however, never really had too much time to learn and it never interested him that much either, but the few recipes he does know he can do really well. If you’re ever in the mood for baking you should call Simon, he actually has taken a liking to it.

As mentioned before, there will be some play-fighting here and there. Most of the time nothing severe happens, but sometimes someone’s ankle gets twisted or a shoulder needs to be put back in place. No one really gets mad, it just happens, but sometimes you have to chime in and tell them to stop before someone gets hurt even worse. Sometimes they listen, sometimes they keep going in secret. They have a surprising amount of energy that needs to be let out.

If they decide to take the sneaky route that day, call John. They do respect and love you, but there’s a good chance John will be more stern with them than you will. If one of you is hurt, then the others will do what they can to keep you happy. If it’s you and you’re a civilian, you can be certain they’re taking turns staying with you and checking in on you to make sure you’re okay. That’s one of the perks of dating several people: If one of you is sick or injured then someone else will always be at home to take care of you.

Game nights happen occasionally. Simon prefers card games since he’s hard to read and they don’t always rely on luck, Johnny likes board games simply because he wants to get on Simon’s nerves from time to time. It never works, but he doesn’t mind that either. Kyle is neutral about it, but will jab at whoever is losing. In the same sentence, though, he sometimes also makes fun of whoever is winning from time to time, especially if they’ve won a few rounds that night already.

John is flexible when it comes to games, he’s just happy to be there with you. Yes, you’re bickering because you’re certain Simon cheated at UNO, but there’s something pleasant about that chaos. It’s not a war he’s fighting, it’s home. It’s his partners getting riled up about something small, such as the dice getting stuck on the table’s leg and showing two numbers at once. It reminds him that that’s what he’s fighting for.

Kyle and Johnny have a tendency to be little shits from time to time. They’re not on base, they don’t need to show proper etiquette all the time and can just let go. Sometimes they’re playing hide-and-seek with one of them lying in wait for someone unassuming to walk by and scare them, other times they drag whoever is nearby along with them for a stroll to the nearest cafe or bar for a drink or two. If that person is willing, great! If they’re not they’ll simply pick them up and force them outside.

Going drinking with the two of them is fun, though. Johnny can hold his liquor really well, Kyle has learned how to do that as well. If you’re a lightweight then you’re gonna get teased to hell and back about it. It’s not impossible to get them drunk, but Johnny’s gonna take it as a challenge to outdrink you. Once either of you is wasted, you call either John or Simon to pick you up. While they may pretend to be annoyed or disappointed in you, they do think conversing with your drunk selves is fun. Kyle gets a bit less cheeky and more affectionate and Johnny gets even more bold and handsy, but nothing more than that happens. If your drunk self is also more on the affectionate side then you’re gonna get cuddled and kissed like there’s no tomorrow.

If the five of you are proud owners of a house then you’ll find Simon getting into gardening at some point. He bought a house plant at one point because he heard taking care of one is good for your health, and so it started out with a small aloe vera branch he was able to get from an acquaintance. Watching the little plant grow brought him immense joy, so he opted for another one. A few seasons later he started his own mini garden in his backyard, planting watermelons, paprikas, tomatoes, anything that would grow. He trims the apple tree, he harvests the fruit and asks you to bake an apple pie with him.

John gets wind of that and is very proud of Simon for having such a relaxing hobby, helping out whenever he can. If Simon ever gets sick then either you or John are the ones to take care of the plants. Kyle can keep a cactus alive for some time if he tries real hard, Johnny has drowned two cacti already. Simon revoked his plant rights for that one. The plants have names, but only Simon knows them and he won’t tell anyone. The very first few he ever got are named after you, John, Kyle and Johnny.

Even off-duty, John can be rather strict at times. He means well, though. His soldiers are disciplined, most of the time, at least, but sometimes they can act a bit inappropriately, be a bit too energetic when he wants to take a nap. So, sometimes punishment is in order. It’s nothing bad, though. Someone is put on dishwashing duty, maybe having to clean out the basement in general. Small tasks that need doing anyway. He can be a bit more rough if he wants to, but that’s usually mellowed out a bit by him using a soft and kind voice.

It’s rare for either of you to stand up against him because he’s pretty much always in the right, but if you do he’s willing to hear you out. He still has an air of authority around him from time to time, so if some of you are able to change his mind he won’t hold it against you. John is well aware that miscommunication causes a lot of problems, so he will always hear you out, no matter what it is. This goes for other things as well. Had a rough day? Wanna tell someone about the cute stray you saw? He’s the last person to shoo you. In fact, it makes him happy when you tell him those things, it shows him that he’s trustworthy in your eyes and such a thing is worth more than the world’s gold reserves to him.

Johnny adores having an exercise partner, it doesn't matter whether you’re jogging in the morning or straight up lifting weights at the gym. If he can, he'll always drag one of you along, there’s no specific schedule to which one it is either. Normally he asks Kyle since he also goes to the gym from time to time and, being as competitive as they are, they motivate each other quite well to try and raise their limits. If you don’t exercise, for whatever reason, Johnny will try to get you to start doing it. You don’t have to run five kilometers straight, you don’t have to cycle for an hour, but even the smallest of steps would make him incredibly happy. You’re trying, that’s all that matters.

He’s very supportive as well but won’t go overboard. As soon as you get dizzy or your arms or legs get wobbly you will take a break. But no matter what, he’ll always reward you for doing so well. You’ll get a kiss, a hug, a piece of fruit, whatever small thing you want. Always reassures you that you’re not dragging him down either. Yes, he could most definitely run a marathon if he wanted to, but you can’t and that’s okay. Baby steps, you’ll get there eventually. Has a schedule for which exercises he does when. Even if he simply gets to stretch with you in the morning he’s more than happy to take that chance. Might make an inappropriate comment or two during yoga the first few times, though. But you’re dating, so he doesn’t mean anything bad by it. Tell him to tone it down and he will.

Kyle is the type of guy, who, in order to unwind, plays extremely stressful games. Bloodborne, Elden Ring, Sekiro. And yes, he does start swearing up a storm when he’s frustrated enough. Will refuse any and all affection until he’s beaten the boss as well. You can get him to play more relaxing games with you as well, though. Give him a Pokemon game and you’ll find him having caught each and every single one of them at some point. Because he’s a smart cookie he can probably recite some of the Pokedex entries as well. But his favorite games are still the darker games.

Won’t shy away from something along the lines of Team Fortress 2 or Portal either. In fact, he’s probably the one to make the suggestion of playing those games together. Sometimes Simon and you watch him play, with Simon giving him pointers if he’s having a hard time. Naturally, Kyle snaps back from time to time and dares Simon to beat the boss since he’s so smart. Despite being no gamer whatsoever, after a few tries, usually three to four so he can learn the game mechanics and the controls, Simon is able to beat almost any boss, as long as it’s not a rhythm game. Kyle is stumped every time, but you don’t dare to make a sound in case he makes you play next. Is grateful anyway, but a bit embarrassed because what was the last game Simon even played properly? Super Mario World? That was more than 20 years ago.

#cod #cod x reader #poly!141 #poly!141 x reader #john price x reader #price x reader #simon ghost riley x reader #ghost x reader #kyle gaz garrick x reader #gaz x reader #john soap mactavish x reader #soap x reader

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74yungririe · 2 years

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Underfell Chasriel

It’s never peaceful in the underground.

Not for long anyways. It’s what Chara cherishes during their days of solitude away from the royal family and monsters that go about. Which isn’t much.

A noisy bunch they all are. Too noisy, too violent.

Staring down from the cityview makes them feel like they're on top of the world. Funny, considering they aren’t royalty nor wanted. Being human has its ups and downs here. A lot of downs, actually.

Can’t have everything go your way, they suppose.

Still, the empty hall being nothing but monochrome has its moments. For one — the view of the underground never fails to distract them from their thoughts. Beyond the ugly cruelty and twisted dispositions lie the beauty hidden in the swamp-infested horrors. The tall buildings and smaller homes for all creatures expand farther than what Chara can see.

Chara’s sure nobody above would believe this amazing view would exist in a desolate place.

There’s nothing else to see besides the cityscape, otherwise.

But it’s not so bad.

Sitting on the cold ground, legs crossed, Chara breathes the peaceful silence. Rather lonely, but it’s not like they’ve had their peace to themselves all the time. Their predicament is an anomaly amongst most things in the world. It’s a treat, nonetheless.

They can always take the elevator and head down to the CORE. It’s not like they’ve done much. Sightseeing around Hotland wouldn’t be so bad either considering the few rogues around have stopped trying to kill them.

Would they risk it right now though? Chara’s lips purse together. Maybe not.

If anything, they’d suspect a monster (usually a Froggit or an annoying Migosp) to pop up and bother them again. That’s what usually happens when they let their guard down. At least it wasn’t like a year or two ago. The amount of times they’ve been a target to kill was a huge pain—

“There you are.”

Their ears perk at the familiar monotone. They look over their shoulder, a smile crawling up their face.

“Greetings, Asriel.”

Said monster scoffs back in return. Arms crossed over the familiar red-and-black stripe sweater as he leans against the wall. Red eyes glaring down at the nonchalant human child.

“Howdy,” he answers back sarcastically.

The brunette doesn’t mind his snarky behavior. Arrogance and irritation sketch over his expression the moment their gazes met. Yet, he pushes himself off the wall and struts their way before plopping down next to them. His black pants crease when he scoots a bit closer.

“Quit sneaking off without saying anything, idiot.” He says immediately.

Chara quirks a brow. Lopsided grin slapped across their face. “I did, though. I said I’d come here.”

His eye twitches.

“No, you didn’t!” Of course, they didn’t.

Chara doesn’t admit despite being caught, merely chuckling the lie away, as they pull their legs close.

“Yes, I did.”

“Do you take me for a fool?”

“Just a little bit.”

“God, you’re insufferable.”

“You told me that already.” Asriel groans at their bickering, to their amusement, stretching his legs out. “Training didn’t go well? Your insults have gone staler than usual.”

The goat kid bares his teeth at the jab. “As if. I did way better than my last training! Heh, the trainer couldn’t last against my blows this time.”

His lips curl into a devilish smirk. Arrogance huffs from his snout as his eyes gleam at the memory. Their attention falls to the golden locket around his neck that bounces along his motion.

Chara can imagine it already. Like the first time Asriel ’allowed them permission’ to watch his little sparring session. How magic proficient he was for a child that matches the peak of his rude attitude.

(…Though they were nearly harmed in the one-on-one training session from just being in the same room alone, Toriel forbade them from being around the room. He was strangely reluctant about it, but listened.)

Humming, “then what’s gotten you so prickly?”

Asriel’s brows furrow. And for a moment, they were prepared for the stream of complaints, about ’not being prickly’ and other interjections as his smirk drops.

Yet, he doesn’t.

Just the uncharacteristic silence accompanies his frown and his blank face. Those fluffy ears hide it from them.

“You’re really weird, y’know.”

That’s… not a first.

Chara tugs the front of their shirt, red with a black stripe like his sweater, a little. The gold chain grazes their arm below their shirt’s white collar. “And? You say that all the ti—”

“You came here again.” Asriel cuts them off. Eyes glued ahead.

The shift in topic is also strange. And he calls them weird. Confusion flashes in their eyes. “Because it’s boring staying at home.”

“Staying here isn’t any different either. It’s the same boring shit you see every other day,” Asriel rebuts, “what’s so interesting about this place anyways…”

“You act like you won’t be doing that once you become king.” The human snickers. They only received a growl in response before glancing back at the city. Reflecting on their own words, it releases the playfulness at the thought.

“Just answer the question.” He scowls, exasperated. Impatience hints through his fingers drumming on his lap.

In the back of their mind, they think about pulling his leg around the topic again. Risk the temper tantrum he’d likely cause for the sake of humoring themselves a little bit. Instead, their eyes trail back to Asriel before returning to the gray scenery. Building lights glowing from afar.

“...No reason.”

“...huh?”

“I had no reason. It’s pretty. That’s all.” They throw their head back as they continue, locking gazes when they notice him staring. “You also said you’d be quick so I thought I’d wait.” Since you’d whine about it, they think of adding but decide against it.

Asriel isn’t convinced. “That can’t be the only reason you came here again...” Yet, their statement pleases him nonetheless from the way his brows relax.

Chara prompts their chin on their palm, elbow supported by their knee. “About the underground being pretty or waiting for you?”

“Obviously the first one!”

Again, they snicker. It’s so fun poking at him.

They’re quick to cover up their little amusement once he glares at them for the umpteenth time. “Well, I don’t know what you wanna hear, but I’m not lying about what I said.”

Their ‘adoptive sibling’ huffs, leaning back with his hands flat on the ground. The doubtful look he spares them doesn’t last for long before he’s back to observing the boring scenery he complained so crudely about. Furry fingers tugging on his long sleeves.

“Do all humans think the same way as you? Just being mindless like that…” Ah, he ends up complaining anyways.

“Then…” They hum thoughtfully. “Why’d you come looking for me?”

Something flashes in their eyes when they notice the jolt in his body. Tensing up from a simple question searching for a simple answer. His fur stands stiff along with the rest of his form and Chara’s drinking in poor attempts of acting casual. News flash: it’s a sight for sore eyes for all his pompous attitude caused.

Asriel makes a face. A stutter in his words unfitting of the rude prince before looking away, narrowed eyes and cheeks hidden by his ears. “Mom nagged me to find you since she couldn’t find you anywhere.”

Chara simply stares at him, unimpressed. Toriel isn’t around at this time of day. Usually out for errands and snail hunting if they recall. Stupid.

(Huh, his ears turn a light red too…)

“Dad’s not gonna be happy if he hears you’re slacking off.”

They counter back. An obvious bluff, as far as the eye could tell. The king still isn’t fond of them. Never has, never been. The few instances he has don’t compete to the care Toriel at least spares for the human. But right now, it’s all in good fun when they pretend to push themselves off the ground and tattle to their adoptive ‘father’ to add emphasis to their teasing lie.

Asriel deadpans. “As if he’d believe you, idiot. It’s not like you could tell him.”

They expected as much. “Yeah, yeah, I was only kidding.” Though the subtle peace has been ruined by his unnecessary poking, the idea of returning home and rolling in their bed sounds nice…

“Wait—!”

The sudden grip around their bare arm startles them out of the thought. Soft, warm, nearly ticklish if not for the strong hold keeping them seated on the ground.

Chara darts their surprise to the same whining goat from moments earlier. His face was just as flustered.

“Just…” Eyes remaining on his death grip around their arm. Teeth gritting together followed by a sigh. “...nevermind.”

They tilt their head. Brown locks fall accordingly, brushing along the ends of their face before plopping down again. “What? Something wrong?”

His vice grip relaxes and his hand falls back to his side. “I said it’s nothing.” His expression doesn’t match his words. “We’re here anyways, so we can just stay for a while.”

“But you said Mom—”

“—and I say we’re staying.” Asriel stresses, voice nearly echoing in the empty area. He gives a quick side-eye look and frowns. “I already came all the way here so it’d be a waste to go back now.”

Chara blinks at his squirming. Hand instinctively flies over the memorial gift around their neck. Craning their head closer, he’s quick to look elsewhere. Anywhere but them.

Soft red coating his furry cheeks, unable to hold eye contact, his usual threats lighter than usual…

…Ah, they recognize that look. When he grumbles yet stays when he doesn’t have to. How pride prevents himself from speaking up despite the evident hints he gives away.

He misses them.

Chara’s grin mellows into a softer smile. They clasp their locket tighter, holding it close to their heart — their soul — while leaning back. Shoulders brushing with the young prince’s. He nearly jumps in place from gentle touch alone. Hehe, that doofus.

Behind the coldness and his rough attitude — even as he refrains from telling them it had nothing to do with their mother — Asriel’s fun to mess with.

“Whatever you say, dork.”

x—x—x—x

inspired by @yellow-h's cute doodle of them!!

#i just wanted to write them www #i hadnt touched this fandom in AGES wow #also just made this acc for undertale story dumps haha hi there #well i dont think anyone's gonna read these anyways so i may as well drop em #my small take of underfell and these kids' interaction rlly #asriel #chara #chariel #chasriel #undertale #underfell #chara x asriel #undertale fic

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here4theheartbreak · 1 year

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I can’t imagine there being a gay bar here hosting monthly kpop nights. In fact, I can’t even imagine there being a gay bar...! 😅

The cup sleeve itself looks so nice, and so do those pretty decorations! I'm so glad these events are a thing. I think it really builds a sense of (wider) community. 💕

Bouncy definitely has a 'kpop' vibe. The first time I heard it, it felt simultaneously like the least/most ‘Ateez’ Ateez song to date. But I know that was their plan. They’ve been saying for a while that they want to try and capture the interest of KR at large — whilst also being themselves and respecting what they already have. Which, honestly, I think they’ve done. It’s a nice song to just ENJOY and have fun with. 🌶️🔥🐐🥊🤠

That’s a lot of songs you made your way through over the weekend! I’m impressed. There were a few songs I wasn’t sure about at first...but now I’m actively adding them to my playlists, soooo yeah... 🌟✨

A miniseries would be great!! I’d love it if it was like the MV’s and the teasers — where there are just subtitles and sometimes voiceovers. That’d be pretty cool. I hope they do it. Or that they do something similar! KQ are clearly not afraid to splash a little cash on locations and cinematography.

Ohhh, I read the new Diary storyline/pages on twitter somewhere. It’s definitely on there if you don’t want to wait!

The Atiny and Ateez relationship is sooo good. Surprisingly good, actually. We’re really lucky that nothing significant has happened to create distance. Especially given how some fans are so invasive and overly familiar sometimes. Still, I think Atiny are mostly chill, and there’s not much guilt involved in supporting them either. Not everyone can vote every single time, or stream all day long. From what I’ve seen, it’s always just been a case of if you can, please do. And, yeah, it doesn't always work out. There have been a few heartbreaking losses on music shows, for instance (the one where they all had glasses of orange juice on stage to celebrate, but then they didn’t win, springs to mind 😭). Still, it’s like San always says, we can support Ateez with our whole hearts, but we should always be the most important people in our own lives!

JFC. YES. THERE'S SO MUCH CONTENT. I can only wish you luck because that is quite a mountain to climb! 😅

Wanteez is so good! I especially loved the latest drinking episodes! Poor drunk San! Someone save him, our tipsy tomato~!

Ah, I also love Woosan! 🦊☂️⛰️ I love their energy. I love that they bicker. I love that they cling. I love that they have matching friendship tattoos. I love: 'we're not always good, but we always choose each other.' I love: 'the best luck I have experienced in my life was meeting you.'

They’re super cute, and silly, and funny~!

I’m really glad that San is someone you can have as a bias — even if it felt impossible for you at first. He really has such a good heart! Just like Wooyoung!

Honestly, I think people often forget that about Wooyoung, because he’s loud and he’s hilarious. I mean, yes, he's always messing with the members and causing chaos on screen and on stage.... but he’s incredibly kindhearted.

Hongjoong literally said that when Wooyoung gets hurt by other people, he blames himself rather than them. He blames himself for trusting them in the first place, rather than them for what they’ve done to him.

Alsoooo, when that whole Ateez vs Vata dance plagiarism thing happened he was so visible in standing up for their team. Adding the 'driving' move to his The Real dance breaks. Calling out the copying. What a guy.

And then there's that time he called out a sasaeng for continually phoning Jongho when they were doing a vlive together. He's not afraid to speak up and it's such a strength.

Oh! Annnnnnd there's the fact that he cried after Yeosang's ending ment last year because he'd overheard Yeosang talking to his mom about a surgery she was having.... but YS hadn't told anyone in Ateez about it, including WY even though they'd been friends for 8 years. And WY had been so worried about YS's mom but he didn't know how to ask him about it. So, he ended up in tears when YS brought it up on stage.

Really, Wooyoung cares so much. I could list soooo many different examples of him feeling so much, and caring so much, about those around him.

In fact, I could probably do that for all the members! 😂💖

(/you have reached the end of my unplanned Wooyoung rant 😂)

Ahhh yeah, absolutely none of them can stay in their lanes. They're always swerving all over the place. Right now, Yunho is coming for me. The way he laughs shyly into his hand? Let me live, puppy~ 😩

Since day one, my bias has been Kim Hongjoong! I saw our tiny captain rapping with his pretty hair, looking full of passion, painting his clothes and his nails, telling off the younger members like a stressed-out dad, and I was like 'ahhh, there he is. He's the man for me!'

My bias wrecker is Seonghwa. So, I'm all about Matz~! 😂 But I literally love them all so much!

Well, I recently got an Ateez tattoo- lyrics from Promise. So, I recommend the Promise video from 2019 - although the 'Band Live Concert' version is the one I actually like the most, the 2019 one is just the one from when I first got into them, so it has nice memories attached to it!

Don't Stop is a great MV that people sometimes miss because it's not on KQ's channel.

I still recommend Treasure Film because they have to do a bunch of fun tasks - Jongho has to arm wrestle guys at a gym, Yeosang has to conquer his shyness and say hello to people on the street (🥺) etc etc. And there's a really sweet section near the end where they have to call their moms and tell them what they're thankful for. It's so good because they're actually exactly like their moms! 💖

There's also their cover of Black Cat Nero. Both the Immortal Songs stage and the subsequent MV are good!

And there's the song they did for Pepsi with Monsta X (and others) - Summer Taste. It's worth a glance. Changkyun coming in after Hongjoong?? Yessss, please. 😍

Talking of MX, Choi Jongho has got to be the most successful Monbebe of all time! What a king~!✨

Sorry about this being an essay length ask.... 😩😂

Honestly the production quality that KQ has when it comes to their mvs is insane! Right away I asked my friend who owned these guys - given the horrid history with certain companies, there’s some I’m just not comfortable supporting even in a small way - when she said they were fully indie I did not expect much at all - so I was absolutely FLOORED. They know where their cash cow is and they treat them well, it seems.

I actually ordered another copy that should be here sooner of the diary version! Should be here next week I think, so sooner than mid-July lol; I have a friend who is getting into the group with me so I’ll just gift them the extra copy (they don’t collect PCs or anything, so I often end up passing along my spare copies of albums that I don’t wanna tangle with selling 😂)

I sat down today and tried to go and make a list of all their different variety shows and things they appear often on (like their hello82 stuff, etc) and I was floored by just how much there was. Every time I thought I completed the list I scrolled and found yet another show or mini-series I had completely missed 😩 - how does this group have so much?? Do these kids SLEEP? 🤣

I have seen clips of the drinking episode and am so tempted to skip forward to it because it looks so genuinely hilarious, who the hell let them get that drunk 😂

My God I can’t talk enough about Woosan. I’ve always been preferential to bias pairs who have that tom and jerry soulmate energy but I genuinely haven’t had a pair that embodies it SO perfectly. The people you look at and you’re like, yeah, those two were always meant to find each other, it wouldn’t matter how many miles separated them, they’d wind up stumbling over each other in some way.  “We’re not always good, but we always choose each other.” - the way I almost burst into tears, I watched that episode just last night actually. Or the recent show - when San was asked if he regretted the tattoo and just, entirely unhesitating “never” even tho they’d been sniping at each other all day 😭😭😭

And truly! I didn’t think much about Woo at first; I kinda assumed he was just another dancer/visual type but since San wouldn’t let me breathe without Wooyoung RIGHT THERE I ended up looking more into him and he’s so sweet. My God, he’s such a caring, gentle person. Definitely the embodiment of more than meets the eye in so many ways. And he’s so mindful of all the members, he knows exactly how to play with each of them, even if sometimes it’s a little chaotic, you just know he’s always gonna be the one there if they need something.

I heard about the Vata thing! That took some real nerve on his part, calling him out so publicly - good for him though, there needs to be more people in the industry like him, it might become a little less corrupt and nasty if there were. If more weren’t afraid to call out the bullshit maybe people would be more mindful of not starting this shit.

And frankly his TALENT. Jesus. When I told my friend I’d picked him as my split bias for sure, she explained some of his past and being picked on by other fandoms, etc - it was heartbreaking - he’s got so much talent and deserves the world 😭

I mean honestly - all of them; I’ve never seen a more shining example of a group of just genuinely well meaning people who try their best to do the right thing, and so talented on top of it - like… How did I miss them for so long??? I got into kpop as a whole literally six months before they debuted?! I could have picked them up from day one! The way I’m kicking myself for it 😩

Yunho! Jfc that guy. He was the member I didn’t really notice right away but this comeback and as I watch more variety shows - he’s so cute?! And he’s got such a funny personality, bahh- I figured I’d be safe from him but nah, he’s climbed right up there. Instead of a list of 8 places 1 through 8 this group is more like 1, 2, 2.5 — Woosan; Yeo and Joong; then the other 4 - there’s no least favorite 😭

Ah! Tattoo! That’s so cool; I love it; my friend has an Ateez tattoo from Star 1117; I’m thinking I will probably add one to my sleeve as well, I’ll wait until after I go to a concert, maybe, unless I’m super inspired. I haven’t seen that video though! Another one to add to my list lol - but I have seen Don’t Stop! That video was insane, I loved it sm and the song was great. I remember sending it to my friend when I watched it with the comment “the sweet little criminal mastermind pirates” (honestly the number of nicknames this poor group has ended up with - my favorite was for Jongho, “the softest insurrectionist you’ll ever see” - and I stand by that. 😂)

Also omg Black Cat Nero - so this video is funny (in another I’m kicking myself square in the ass way) bc I’ve seen it pop up on my dash ever since it came out (the Halloween m/v specifically); and every time I saw it I almost clicked on it bc it looked interesting with San’s makeup… And I didn’t because it wasn’t a group I was into so I just… Ignored it. For two years YouTube has tried to hand me this damn group.

(Also no need to apologize for the long asks lol - I’m sure my non-atiny friends are so so sick o hearing me ramble for hours about these guys so I 100% do not mind 😂😂😂😂

#answered #ask #daegu-flowjob

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elysianslove · 3 years

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Please wrote more surrogate fics please . could I request one with SakuAtsu or could you just start a series on these. If you'd me comfortable with that. That on IwaOi surrogate fic brought me so much joy. I can't even describe it.

oh my goodness i’d love to!!! it makes me so happy knowing you liked it cause like,,, idk why it’s just special to me :) also im so glad you asked for sakuatsu bc these two ships are basically my favorite jhfgbsj. and yesyes i’d love to have a mini series with like little scenarios of each ship <333

this was insanely long. like insanely.

content warning; artificial insemination, pregnancy, haikyuu manga spoilers, gay people being happy idk

being iwaoi’s surrogate

BEING SAKUATSU’S SURROGATE

↬ it took forever to even get them together, so with a duo as indecisive as them, it’s imaginable how long the decision to raise a child together took. it took a long, long while for that transition from enemies to lovers to be final, and even then, they hadn’t realized how serious their relationship was until they were off getting married and then suddenly wanting a child?

↬ it was something atsumu brought up out of the blue, just casually as they sat side by side on the couch. “wouldn’t it be nice if we raised a child together?” and it stuck with sakusa ever since. he didn’t know why he was obsessively thinking about it as much, but it’s all he could think about. literally. anytime he so much as thought about atsumu with a child, and a child of their own too, his stomach did a thousand and one flips. sakusa was never the biggest fan of children, and he knew that neither was atsumu. but, this would be different, wouldn’t it? Still, he tried to remind himself of the cons; they were pro-athletes, they didn’t have time, they didn’t understand the weight of the responsibility, were they even ready for something like that? somedays it was too tiring to take care of themselves, of each other. were they ready to be responsible for a whole life, someone dependent entirely on them? it seemed too— unrealistic. like something he could only hope to dream about, and just dream about.

↬ until he thought of atsumu with a little kid, a spit image of either one of them, sitting on his lap, giggling and laughing and squealing in glee. and so he decided, there will always be cons, he just has to see if the pros outweighed them. and honestly, they did. they were pro-athletes, sure, but that also meant they were financially stable, and could provide for a child, properly. they were mature now, knew each other very well, and had adapted to living with one another. they had family and friends all around. the kid would for sure grow up loved and cared for, and him and atsumu would add another person to their family. it really seemed like a dream, but this time, an attainable one.

↬ so as he ate dinner with his lover, he blurted out, “let’s raise a child together,” and atsumu honest to god choked on his food. he asked sakusa if he was serious, if he meant it, if this was real, and sakusa’s answer was yes to every single one of his question. yes, he was serious; yes, he meant it; yes, this was real. as real as can be.

↬ they both already knew they wanted a surrogate, and it didn’t matter who was the father. so long as the child was theirs.

↬ finding a surrogate was, well, a pain, to put it into perspective. sakusa was so picky about the “requirements,” if you will, and atsumu was suspicious of every single woman, it was kind of ridiculous really. he just “didn’t trust that they wouldn’t run away with the baby!” in his words. atsumu suggested sakusa’s older sister, which seemed perfect in his head, but sakusa refused, claiming it was 1. extremely weird, and 2. he doubted she’d say yes, with her own life to handle.

↬ and it finally, finally, came to atsumu: he could always just ask, well, you. he had met you during his college years, and since then, he’d been coincidentally crossing paths with you ever since then, and you’d even managed their msby jackals team at some point. it was weirdly ironic how he’s coming back to you, kind of like fate.

↬ so he suggested it to sakusa, and for once, the latter didn’t really have any way to object, except, “what if this inconveniences her?” other than that, you were the perfect candidate. they knew you well, trusted you, knew they could rely on you. and atsumu was sure you wouldn’t run with the baby. with regards to the inconvenience part, well, they could always just deal with that when the time came.

↬ they invited you over for some breakfast two days later, after they’d thought about it properly, endlessly, and figured you were their best option. it was weird seeing them so nervous when you first arrived, like they were breaking up with you or something. atsumu barely ate with how nauseous he felt, and sakusa spent the entire time watching you eat instead, hands fidgeting and legs shaking. it was really weird, but you didn’t bring it up, letting them take their own time to tell you whatever it was they wanted to tell you, because obviously, they clearly had something to say.

↬ after breakfast, you sat in their living room, just watching the tv quietly, until sakusa offered to get you some water. you weren’t really thirsty, but you agreed anyways, unsurprised to see atsumu rise from his own seat a minute later with a, “be right back,” as he headed to the kitchen. you could hear them bickering and whisper-yelling, and if you weren’t starting to grow as nervous as they were, you would’ve had it in you to laugh. they returned looking like they were bearing the most daunting of news, sitting down on the couch perpendicular to you. atsumu’s hands were sweaty and intertwined tightly together, while sakusa tried to remain as composed as possible. it seemed like the dark haired man would speak up, finally, parting his mouth with a deep breath.

↬ but it’s atsumu that blurts out, “please have my baby!— our baby. please have our baby.”

↬ honestly, your first response was to laugh, in disbelief, as you clutch your glass of water. but then you see their faces — god they looked so goddamn scared — and you realized that, they were really serious. they really wanted you to carry their baby for them. holy shit?—

↬ you were mostly speechless after that, stuttering as you ask them to please explain, you’re honored but are they are, have they thought about this? properly? in depth?

↬ to your surprise, they really knew what they were doing. they’d done their research, and thought about a million other options before deciding that you were the best one. they also repeatedly told you that you didn’t have to do this, and that they didn’t want to guilt-trip you into doing it either. they wanted you to say yes only if you yourself wanted to say yes, and if this wouldn’t negatively affect you or halt your life in any way. you were the one that was going to be carrying the baby anyways, weren’t you? at the end of the day, this was all about you.

↬ you asked them for time to think about it, and reminded them that it wasn’t a no. you just wanted to make sure you were making the right decision whichever that ended up being. a few days later, you call them, asking them to meet up one way or another, and atsumu’s even more nervous than he was asking you; not even sakusa’s gentle lips to his temple or large hands soothingly rubbing at his back or his kind words could help him. sakusa himself was insanely anxious. in his head, it seemed like your ‘no,’ would finalize everything. that it would really mean no hope in having a child of their own, their very own.

↬ you invite them over to your home, and the kettle is already boiling when they arrive. you make them tea and make small talk if only to delay the inevitable. but, to each of their surprises, you take a deep breath and say, “i’d be honored to carry your baby for you,” with the brightest, warmest smile. sakusa has to bite his inner cheek to will himself to not cry, because he can’t believe you said yes. you agreed. you’re going to carry their baby. him and atsumu were having a baby.

↬ atsumu doesn’t stop himself from throwing his arms around you, collapsing on top of you in tight hug that you kind of can’t breathe, but you let him, and you laugh when he thanks you for saying yes, that he’ll “be forever in your debt.”

↬ it’s the happiest you’ve seen either of them.

↬ when you’re done with the process of insemination (of course, atsumu does joke that the three of you should go the natural way and have a threesome, to which he earns a smack from his lover and a smack from you, at the same time), the three of you just have to wait, really. it’s the longest period of waiting you’ve ever had to do, but you try to be patient, as patient as you can be. when you wake up one morning and throw up, you look at your period tracking app to see if maybe you were pms’ing. except, you weren’t. you were late. like a good three weeks late.

↬ immediately, you’re booking a doctor’s appointment. you wait to tell sakusa and atsumu after confirming your suspicions, because you don’t want to raise their hopes up for nothing. they’ve already been swimming in a pool of doubts ever since the insemination, calling you everyday to check up on you and ask for any progress. when the doctor confirms your pregnancy — holy shit you were pregnant — the first thing you do is go over to their house. you know it’s not the best idea to show up unannounced, but with how long they’ve been waiting, and how much they’ve been wanting this, the more and more you fed into it, you couldn’t wait any longer to tell them. you arrive, and the moment sakusa opens the door for you, you gasp out, “i’m pregnant.”

↬ sakusa’s quite literally frozen in shock, his mouth pressed in a thin line with eyes wide open, while atsumu walks over and goes, “oh hey,” in greeting before noticing sakusa’s face and just ???? “what’s going on?”

↬ “i’m pregnant.”

↬ “you’re what?”

↬ you show them with tears stinging your eyes the results of the test you’d taken at the doctor’s, and atsumu grips the report so tightly, like it’ll disappear if it slips only slightly from his hands. sakusa’s still in shock, trying to process everything. it takes him a good while before he can function properly again.

↬ the pregnancy itself is a lot smoother than you’d imagined. iwaizumi, as their athletic trainer, although not well versed with pregnancy, knew a lot about health and taking care of yourself in general, so he made sure you were always eating right and healthy. he even accompanied you once when sakusa and atsumu couldn’t, to the doctor, and made sure to ask him specifically what you should and shouldn’t be eating. all of the olympic/national team are more excited than anything. they’re insanely protective over you, and always pamper and care for you you when they can, whether that be back/neck/shoulder massages or giving you their food when they notice you eyeing it or letting you lean entirely on any of them for support as you walk. granted, they do make fun of you, especially the bigger your stomach got, but they mean well, really. suna once made fun of you and, because of the hormones, and because he was genuinely just mean, you started to cry. since then, suna swore off bullying you, at least until you gave birth.

↬ osamu is beyond ecstatic to become an uncle. he’s so excited it makes atsumu incredibly emotional. he goes with his brother on trips to ikea to buy a crib and gifts him an insane amount of baby clothes and always begins a conversation with, “how’s the baby?” every time you’re around, osamu’s hand can be found resting on your stomach, soothingly rubbing, excitedly grinning when he feels a kick. he is just so happy for his brother, he could cry.

↬ you ask them if they want a gender reveal when you find out or to keep it until the delivery of the baby, but they’re both insanely impatient (even though sakusa does try to convince atsumu to wait because it’ll be exciting, he himself isn’t even that convinced of that and they just ask you to tell them). with the help of osamu and his and atsumu’s parents, you organize a gender reveal party. the moment he sees the pink smoke, atsumu cheers so loudly it makes you laugh till your stomach hurt. sakusa’s grinning wider than you’ve ever seen him, grabbing atsumu’s face and kissing him, before pulling you into a tight hug. it’s literally the cutest thing ever, everyone just cheering loudly around you and celebrating with you.

↬ when you go into labor, you’re with neither of them, but with osamu, aran, and kita. they were staying the night at a hotel since they had training away from where they lived, and you were spending the night at osamu’s because the fathers of your baby really didn’t want you to be alone so close to your due date, and who better than osamu? your water didn’t break, but you kept having contractions. you were brushing it off as normal pain at the start, but they started to get worse, and closer together in time. kita, because he’s kita, had been keeping track, and told you how far apart your contractions were. to which you went, “contractions?!”

↬ aran’s calling sakusa and atsumu as kita grabs your bag as osamu grabs his keys and helps you to his car. you really couldn’t have been around a better set of men, because they were perfectly composed the whole time, helping you breathe and stay calm by staying calm themselves, reassuring you that you didn’t need to worry and that you will get to the hospital in time. they did flinch every time you screamed or cried out in pain, but aran held your hand the entire drive there, and kita guided you to steadying yourself as osamu drove as fast as he could.

↬ the issue was with sakusa and atsumu. to say they were freaking out would be an understatement. they were positively losing it. atsumu’s anxiety was louder than sakusa’s, but the latter’s was clear as ever on his pale skin and clammy hands. they were so annoying in the delivery room, literally faring worse off than you, who was pushing a whole baby out of her body. when you finally gave birth to a healthy baby girl, atsumu sobbed and sakusa cried in his hands, so maybe it was alright after all.

↬ they literally couldn’t believe their eyes when the nurse handed you the baby and placed her on your chest. she was so, so tiny, so beautiful, and theirs. honestly, you couldn’t hold back your own tears at the sight of her, and at their reaction to her. you held her in your arms as they thanked you, over and over and over again, for the biggest blessing they could ever receive.

↬ despite the fact that you were simply their surrogate, sakusa and atsumu knew they couldn’t just separate you and your baby, and neither could they just take her home all of a sudden. so for the first few months, you stayed in their guest room, but the baby slept in her own room. it was more difficult than you expected it to be when you were leaving her to go back to your own home, but they promised you repeatedly that they’re not really taking her away. it wasn’t as if you couldn’t visit at any time you wanted to come visit her. but at the end of the day, you knew what you had been signing up for, and that she was their daughter.

↬ she grows up to be a gorgeous woman. she’s interested in volleyball, sure, she’d been raised with volleyball players everywhere around her, but it’s not her immediate passion. atsumu thought he’d be more upset about that than he actually was, because he found out that it didn’t matter at all what she wanted to do. hell, if she wanted to do nothing at all and stay home forever with them, he was 100% on board with that. whatever made her happy and healthy, he was okay with. she grows up to be really close and really comfortable with both of her fathers, and they make sure with every passing day that no matter what, she can always come to them. and she does, about every little thing. and each and every time, they listen and advice and guide her properly. a s parents, they’re a perfect balance of strict and lenient. they set and raise her to never cross those boundaries, but otherwise they give her complete freedom. they respect her privacy, her decisions, everything.

↬ there was a day when she came back home from school, and they had taken a biology class for kids, where a teacher had explained periods to them. obviously, as curious as ever, she’d asked her dads about it, because she didn’t really get it. she wanted to know the how’s and the why’s and the what’s and the when’s. with every passing second atsumu had felt his lifespan shorten. eventually he suggested they call you, who she knew as her ‘aunt’ for the time being, since you were a woman and nobody would really explain it better than you. when she did get her period eventually, and had to sheepishly and shyly ask her dads to go to the store for her because she needed, um, supplies, atsumu lost it. sakusa had to try and calm him down all while laughing as he got ready to go to the store for her, because the drama of miya atsumu never gets old. he just couldn’t believe she was already getting her period. what the hell! what the actual hell!

↬ of course, he proceeded to embarrass her by telling osamu, telling sakusa’s parents, telling his parents. not cool :(

↬ when she was old enough, especially to understand the concept of being a surrogate (oh my god the sex talk was a whole other insufferable thing), they told her about you, and that you were actually her biological mother and not just an ‘auntie.’ she tried to be angry at them for keeping it from her, but she was honestly more excited about finding out than anything. it brought the two of you closer together, and for the next mother’s day, she organized a whole brunch for you, her and her dads, got you a gift, flowers, everything. yeah, you did cry.

↬ you genuinely have never been more satisfied and thankful for a decision like this one, ever, especially because of how much of a blessing the outcome had been.

can u tell this isn’t my first time thinking about this. ever since i posted the iwaoi one i’ve been wanting to do a sakuatsu one, but i didn’t really know whether anyone had enjoyed that or would want more, so thank you for sending in this ask!! love u all mwah <3

#haikyuu x reader #haikyuu headcanons #miya atsumu x reader #sakusa x reader #sakusa kiyoomi x reader #atsumu x sakusa #sakuatsu #sakuatsu x reader #atsumu x reader

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ncssian · 3 years

Text

A Favor: Part Twenty-Two

Nessian Modern AU

Masterlist

content warnings: secondhand embarrassment, i dont know how skiing works, poor editing, NSFW 🔥

***

To Nesta’s horror, Cassian was serious when he said he’d teach her how to ski. Nevermind the fact that it’s his birthday, and they should be having a lazy morning together filled with cuddles and breakfast in bed. Instead, they’ve been up since six in the morning without food or drink, just to shuffle around in the snow while Cassian repeats the same instructions over and over. By late morning, the rest of their group has gotten up and joined them at the beginner’s trail to be firsthand witnesses to Nesta’s humiliation.

She stares down at the blinding white slope before her and inhales a breath of frigid mountain air, trying to steel her nerves before she has to push off the ground and take flight.

Cassian sees her hesitation and sighs. “Come on, Nesta,” he urges. “It’s thirty feet to the bottom of the hill.”

“Why is it so steep?” she demands, even though she knows this is a practice hill. Toddlers in skis are shuffling around them, hand in hand with their parents.

“You’re not falling to the bottom,” Cassian says, growing impatient. “You’re gliding.”

He’s already shown her how to maneuver with skis a dozen times already, and Nesta can see that he doesn’t have another dozen times left in him. Unfortunately for him, Nesta’s own patience was used up hours ago. Her stomach pangs with hunger, and she has a pounding headache from the cold and lack of sleep.

“Oh, come on, Nesta,” Gwyn calls from behind her. She hops up and down in her snow boots like a cheerleader. “You can do it!”

Nesta does not want to do it. She looks down at the hill, then back at Cassian with pleading eyes—eyes that he can’t see under her ski goggles anyway.

“I can’t take this anymore,” Azriel mutters from somewhere. He picks up his ski poles and points to Emerie. “Ski lift?”

“Sure—” she starts to say, and then remembers that she’s here to support Nesta. “Not now,” she amends.

“Just go,” Cassian turns to tell them. “At least some of us will be having fun.” Nesta watches as he goes over to Emerie and Az to give advice on the trails, the same frustration from last night building in her chest.

Stupid ski trip. Stupid uninvited guests. Stupid birthday that Cassian isn’t even treating like a birthday.

Gritting her teeth, Nesta jabs her ski poles into the ground. She’ll conquer this hill, and then she’ll conquer the rest of the trail, and then she’ll take her skis and set them on fire.

With everyone briefly preoccupied and no eyes on her, Nesta pushes herself downhill. Her skis slip a little as she takes off but she readjusts her feet the way Cassian showed her, regaining control. She takes a deep breath, realizing the height isn’t as scary as she thought it would be. Testingly, she bends her knees and pushes herself farther, gaining speed.

“Oh, oh, look!” she hears Gwyn say from behind her. “She’s doing it!”

The voice breaks Nesta out of her precarious concentration, and she almost misses the kid right in front of her skiing at the pace of a turtle. Gasping, Nesta swerves at the last second to avoid running him over.

Her skis clack into each other and she feels her ankle twist, and then she’s down. Hard. Her face meets snow and her ski gear jabs into her body as she tumbles down the rest of the hill, until she finally meets flat ground and rolls to a painful stop.

Nesta only hears a dull roar in her ears as she slowly pushes herself upright. Ignoring alarmed looks from stray skiers around her, she reaches forward and unstraps one ski from her foot, then the other. Her goggles fall to the ground next. Once free, she stands up and walks away, ignoring the calls of her friends from the hilltop.

She walks until she loses sight of the trail and then the resort, until the flattened and trampled snow piles up into powdery mounds untouched by human presence. A cropping of towering evergreens appears before her, and she heads straight for the thicket without pausing.

Once safely entombed by the dark tree trunks and frosted branches, Nesta releases a breath and screams. Screams until the frustration and anger within her bluntens just a little.

The forest absorbs her fire and answers with silence.

“Better now?” Cassian’s voice comes from behind her.

Nesta whirls, ready to fling her next scream at him for having the nerve to follow her, but she only restrains herself because it’s his birthday. Guilt and humiliation nips at her; she shouldn’t be doing this on his birthday. “Leave me alone.” Her voice is raw from shrieking.

Cassian only takes a step closer to Nesta, eyeing her up and down. “You’re not hurt, right? ’Cause that would be embarrassing for you.”

Any edge that was taken off starts to build up again, and Nesta really doesn’t want to look at him right now. “Cassian—”

“Your face is turning red,” he suddenly gasps, pointing. “You should try yelling again, babe. I don’t think the entire resort heard you last time.”

Done with her boyfriend’s shit, Nesta releases a growl and rushes at him. He’s a lot closer than she realized, and in a blink she slams right into his broad chest and shoves him with all her might.

Cassian laughs, short and blunt, and pushes her right back. Her back hits hard-packed snow and then he’s on top of her, pinning her wrists loosely beside her head. Icy wetness seeps past the neck of her jacket.

“Do you want me to fucking bite you?” Nesta snarls, getting in Cassian’s face.

“Always,” he says without hesitation, pressing closer to her. “But first you gotta take a breather.”

“Don’t tell me what to do,” she seethes back. At this rate, she really might bite him. She wants to see his smug face drop when he realizes he pushed her too far.

“You might have an aneurysm at this rate with your anger issues.” He pouts prettily. “Imagine how sad that would make me.”

“I DON’T HAVE ANGER ISSUES!” she shrieks.

Cassian barely blinks. Nesta breathes heavily in the ensuing silence, realizing how embarrassing this is for her. Yet she doesn’t know how to stop.

Closing her eyes, she drops her head to the ground and turns away. Wishing she could sink into the ground and vanish for a few minutes, at least until she gets herself under control again.

After a moment of quiet, she feels the back of Cassian’s fingers brush her neck. “I wondered where that spitfire girl went,” he says lowly. “She didn’t die. You just hid her very well.”

Nesta’s body doesn’t know whether to feel soothed or incited by the touch, the words. “Does it make you happy?” she breathes, her eyes still closed. “That she’s still there?”

“It would be murder if you ever got rid of her. Don’t you dare,” he threatens.

Nesta huffs a derisive laugh. It’s easy for him to say, when he isn’t the one that has to live with it. “I bet you’re enjoying this.”

“Only if you are.” He sounds completely genuine, and Nesta feels him pluck something out of her hair—likely a snowflake.

Realizing Cassian has long since released her wrists, she opens her eyes and stares at the column of his neck. She doesn’t see the regret and concern on his face when he says, “I ruined today, didn’t I?” She watches him swallow before he adds, “I’m sorry, Nes.”

“It’s your birthday,” she mutters, looking away. “You can do whatever you want.” Even if it’s spending the whole day skiing.

“You’re right about that.” His warm breath hits her nose, and now that Nesta’s head is somewhat clear, she can feel every place where his body settles into hers.

Before she can betray herself and forget how upset she was at him only a few minutes ago, Cassian pushes up and off of her. Frigid air replaces where he was just sprawled, and then he’s holding out a hand to Nesta. “We’re going back to our room,” he says, watching Nesta’s feet closely as he helps her stand. “You can ride on my back.”

“Why?” Nesta grumbles, brushing herself off. “I can walk fine.”

“You twisted your right ankle on the way down that hill, and you started limping as soon as you thought you were out of sight.” Cassian turns around and points at his back. “Get on while I’m being nice.”

That makes Nesta scoff, because he’s always nice, but she has little fight left today. She tries to reach up to wrap her arms around his neck, but Cassian grabs her legs and hitches her up onto his back before she can struggle.

She responds with a scowl, clasping her hands across his chest and getting comfortable. “You noticed I was hurt but didn’t have a problem with tackling me to the ground?”

Cassian squeezes her thighs and holds her closer, tossing a blinding smile over his shoulder. “Sorry if I wasn’t expecting you to try to jump me with an injured foot. You took me by surprise.”

“Bullshit,” Nesta says as they start walking out of the trees. “You did it on purpose.”

“Do you like starting fights, Archeron?”

“Do you?” she retorts.

They bicker back and forth like that until they reach the resort, and even once they’re inside the lobby, Cassian doesn’t put Nesta down. The exhaustion of the day has settled over the both of them by then, and the elevator ride up to the penthouse is peacefully quiet.

Back at the empty suite, Cassian carefully lowers Nesta to her feet. “Take your clothes off,” is all he says before heading for the bathroom, shedding his heavy outer jacket as he goes. Nesta has no problem listening; she’s all too happy to take her snow-drenched gear off and breathe air-conditioned air again.

She only realizes as she’s removing her boots that her overwrought emotions must have dulled the real pain of her fall. Her entire body aches down to the bone, and her twisted ankle has it the worst. Inspecting the swollen skin around her foot, she wonders if Cassian will make her see a doctor when the sound of a running faucet pulls her attention. Still dressed in her thermal underwear, Nesta pads over to the bathroom.

Inside, the room is dim, and the only light comes in from the single window panel at the far end of the room. Cassian sits on the rim of the clawfoot tub as it fills with heated water, already naked.

Nesta coughs, caught off guard. The sight is far from unfamiliar to her, and yet she hates to admit that she’ll never not react to it.

Cassian looks up at her, meeting her eyes head on, and a giggle almost escapes her.

“What’s that dumb look on your face?” he says with high brows. “Take your clothes off and get in.”

Nesta firmly schools her face into obedience. Is she a grown woman or a schoolgirl? she chides herself as she strips naked. But as soon as she’s free of her top and leggings, Cassian stops her. “Turn around,” he says.

Is this a sex thing? She hopes it’s a sex thing. She does as she’s told, and hears Cassian hiss in a breath. Glancing at the mirror over the sink, Nesta winces when she realizes what he sees. “Damn.” Her back is peppered with still-forming bruises from her fall, along with her legs and ribs.

Getting up, Cassian approaches her and cautiously runs his fingers over a reddened spot on her ribs. “I think a ski pole stabbed me there,” Nesta says, frowning down at the bruise. She looks like shit, and not at all in a desirable way.

“How’s your ankle?” Cassian kneels to check for himself, handling her like a porcelain doll. He presses gently above the bone where she twisted it. “Does that hurt?”

Nesta considers saying yes, just so he can keep fussing over her like this, but she shakes her head. “I’m fine. Just a little achy.”

A sudden chaste kiss between her legs makes her yelp, and she twists to find Cassian still on his knees, grinning sheepishly up at her. “You know what can help with those aches?”

Nesta blanks as Cassian runs a calloused hand up her inner leg. “Uh…really good dick?”

Cassian is visibly trying not to smile when he says, “A bath.” He stands and turns the faucet off, before going to help Nesta into the tub.

Steaming hot water just beneath the point of being uncomfortable hits Nesta’s calves, then her hips and chest. She might moan in relief as she sinks into the bath.

Cassian settles in across from her, taking up most of the tub space as Nesta twists her ponytail into a bun. He takes her ankle onto his lap and starts massaging above the injury. He notes, “We haven’t been alone like this in ages.”

“I remember when it was my job to be the chill guy,” he continues, rubbing circles into her leg. “I was the one doing stupid shit, and now I have to tell other people to knock it off when they do stupid shit. Since when did Azriel take my role?” he mutters to himself.

Nesta tilts her head against the lip of the tub and watches Cassian, taking in the barely visible lines of weariness on his face. She was once in a similar boat, too, where she had no one to answer to but herself. “Do you miss it?” she asks hesitantly. “Life before we got to know each other?” A life spent in the company of his friends, meeting different women every other week and being as free as possible.

“No,” he says easily. “I miss life before we had to share each other with other people.” He meets her eyes and smirks. “Who knew monogamy could be so exciting?”

Nesta’s stomach curls at his honesty, and she doesn’t know what to say. In the silence, Cassian reaches for a washcloth and lathers it with a bar of pine scented soap. But before he can reach for Nesta, she snatches the washcloth from him and pulls herself forward into the cradle of his limbs. What she can’t say, she’ll just have to show.

She starts soaping up his arms, granting extra attention to his tattooed biceps.

“You’re hurt—” he tries to protest.

“Shut up.” She runs the washcloth over his shoulders, across his collarbones.

When Nesta reaches his chest, she starts, “Earlier in the woods...I lost control.”

Cassian looks wary, but she goes on, “I don’t know why I did that. I thought I didn’t do that anymore.”

“I know why,” he says simply. “You were having a bad day. It was overwhelming.” He shrugs.

“But I’m better than that,” she insists. “You might think it's cute or funny when I—lose it, but I spent years training myself not to fall apart at the slightest inconvenience.” She takes in a breath, her movements slowing. “I learned how to escape reality, remember? I climbed into books and TV and songs, and at one point my entire life passed me by because I refused to participate in it. If I didn't participate, I couldn't be hurt.” She wrings out the washcloth, and Cassian carefully pries it out of her grip.

Nesta places her empty hands on her thighs, avoiding his touch, his eyes. “I think you were one of the only people who ever made me want to come back to real life,” she offers awkwardly. “That's why you made me uncomfortable at first. There were times I would look at you and think, He's better than anyone from the books. If I start living on the same plane as him, I can have him. Does that make sense?”

Cassian swallows visibly, but nods.

“It seemed like an impossible thing to do at the time—participate in the real world, make real friends. But have you noticed? I don’t read as many romance novels anymore.” Not because she doesn’t love them, but because she no longer needs them to remind herself she's alive.

She looks up at him, searching for his thoughts and opinions. Cassian looks like he's doing the same with her face, but then he says, “If you need to scream, even if it’s at me, tell me. I’ll take you somewhere far away, or I’ll let you have it out right in front of everyone. Whatever the hell you want, as long as you tell me. Please.”

Nesta starts to shake her head, adamant, but he stops her with the most pitiful look he's ever given her. “There’s nothing I hate seeing more than you trying to swallow down your rough edges. Even in the woods, you were about to tame yourself before I provoked you.” Cassian holds out a pinky, completely serious. “Consider it my birthday gift. Don’t do that shit anymore.”

Nesta stares at him, his plea warring with years of conditioned self-restraint. “I already got you a birthday gift,” she finally grumbles, but hooks his pinky with hers.

He seems satisfied, but doesn't let go of her pinky. With surprising strength, he uses their hooked fingers to pull Nesta into him, and she just barely catches herself on his chest before he brings her head down and kisses her deep.

Nesta already has her legs adjusted around his waist and his cock pressed against her stomach before she can pull away far enough to choke, “What’s this for?”

He leans up and catches her lips with his again, dipping his tongue just far enough inside to flick the roof of her mouth before retreating. “For existing. And for those aches.” He presses down lightly on a bruise at her back and runs a soothing thumb over it right after. Between her thighs, she feels him growing hard.

Nesta huffs a distracted laugh, the steam from the water sending a red flush up her chest and neck. It's suddenly very hot, and she unconsciously squirms in his lap. “I just realized I’ve never had sex in the bath before,” she says out of nowhere, rubbing her chest and quickly dropping her arms. She’s babbling, she knows. Contrary to popular media, being a seductress is harder than it looks. Half the time she has no idea what to say, and she considers herself lucky that Cassian is driven wild by it anyway.

Cassian entertains her, nodding along while his fingers slip past her ass, brushing her folds. “That sounds like something that should be amended, don’t you think?”

“Well, in terms of comfort I’m not sure if it’ll be better than the shower—” She’s cut off by a finger teasing at her entrance, making her jerk. “Yes,” she says quickly. “Yes, it should be amended.”

He hums thoughtfully, leaning in to nibble and suck at her neck. Her hardened nipples brush against his chest, and Nesta pushes closer into Cassian’s embrace. She’s half-rocking against him when she rasps, “How do you give head in the bath? Do I, like, have to hold my breath underwater?”

“You don’t need to know how,” he mutters, grasping her by the hips and tugging her up so that he’s eye level with her chest. He starts leaving a trail of openmouthed kisses across her breasts. “You’re not doing anything I don’t tell you to do today.”

“What do you mean?” Nesta’s grip on Cassian’s shoulders tightens when he brings a pink nipple into his mouth, sucking hard and pulling off with a flick of his tongue. She can’t move her hips for fear of climaxing at the slightest touch. “It’s your birthday,” she manages to get out. “And I like seeing what I can do to you.”

“Then save it for your birthday.” He pulls her back down firmly into his lap, making her thighs clench with restraint. “Because I like seeing what I do to you more.”

To prove his point, he parts her legs and slips one finger inside her. The smug pride on his face at what he finds makes Nesta move to grip the rim of the tub. Having a pretty boyfriend might have been a mistake, she thinks. That kind of face will get away with anything. Right now, for example.

“Tell me what you want, then,” she pleads.

Cassian leans back, pretending to think. “Sit on my cock,” he finally says.

An easy enough order, one Nesta is all too excited to carry out in only a few movements. It takes a minute to adjust to the fullness and the stretch, and the water doesn’t help in dousing the fire in her veins at all. With heat pounding deep in her core, Nesta releases a terse breath. Her tongue darts out to wet her lower lip, and Cassian watches.

“Now don’t move,” he orders.

“What?” Nesta’s knees involuntarily clench around his hips, her body already craving the feel of moving against him, on top of him.

He levels her with a look. “No clenching, no rocking, no touching.” He hisses in a thoughtful breath, combing a wet hand through his hair. “Actually, that isn’t very fair, is it?”

Nesta is about to nod furiously when he says, “You still need to wash yourself.” He hands her the washcloth she used on him earlier and leans his elbow on the rim of the tub. “Be quick about it. No games.”

Nesta’s eyes widen, looking at the washcloth, then back up at Cassian. Excitement tingles in her fingers and toes, and she doesn’t want to argue with him.

Gulping tightly, she soaps up the washcloth, then smooths the lather over her arms. It’s hard to focus on what she’s doing when there’s a pounding pressure between her legs, and the only thing that keeps her going is that she’ll be rewarded when she’s done. Cassian doesn’t bother watching her, instead tipping his head back against the tub and closing his eyes. From this angle, the tendons in his neck stand out clearly, and the hard line of his jaw looks tense. Nothing on his calm face reveals that Nesta is the reason for his tension, though.

Bringing the soapy cloth over her breasts, Nesta looks up to see if Cassian is secretly peeking at her through his lashes. His eyes remain shut, the perfect portrait of a man at rest.

Suddenly, his hips shift beneath hers, and Nesta nearly drops the washcloth. Straightening up, she has to use herculean strength to force her inner walls to relax around him. “You moved,” she accuses him.

“I was getting comfortable,” he says, still not opening his eyes.

“Why can you move but I can’t?”

That gets him to look at her. His eyes are hooded and lazy when he says, “You’re still talking?”

“Maybe if you had clearly explained the rules—” Nesta starts to grumble, but shuts up when he quirks a brow at her. She won’t lose this game, not for anything—even if she’s split at the seams with Cassian inside her and is one thread away from completely snapping.

Now fully alert, Cassian watches Nesta finish washing up. He hasn’t touched her once since he pulled her onto his cock, and now Nesta tries to make up for the aching lack by pretending her roaming hands are his.

It’s not until the washcloth reaches her tummy that Nesta pauses, her hand frozen over her lower abdomen. Because there, even past the cloth, she can feel him. The skin just slightly bulges, and she looks down at herself with her lips slightly fallen apart. She didn’t realize he was nestled so deep in her, but now she swallows past a lump in her throat. “Cassian…” she starts weakly. Every last muscle is trembling with the effort to stay still. Can he really be unaffected by all of this? Is she really the only one dying right now?

Without intending to, her hand drops the cloth, slipping toward her clit. She can only brush the sensitive nub before Cassian says quietly, “Don’t.”

So this is against the rules, too. She can’t even bring herself to look at him, she’s strung so tight. Taking a shallow breath, she grabs the pitcher from the shelf by the tub and fills it with water, using it to rinse off the suds. When she’s done, with water droplets running down every inch of her, she dares to look at Cassian again. Her anxiousness to get this over with must be written all over her face, and yet.

“Good,” Cassian says, voice just a little grated.

Nesta’s heart rate picks up a beat. She’s finally getting her reward.

“Now sit still and pretty while I rest,” he says, sinking even lower into the tub—and causing his cock to dig even deeper into Nesta. “This is a bath, not a splash pad.”

Nesta chokes. “What—I thought—”

“Hm?”

She presses her lips together tightly, refusing to protest. He can’t make her warm his cock like this forever, can he? Soon enough he’ll crack.

Four minutes in, and he doesn’t crack. While Nesta gets closer to crying by the second, she has yet to find evidence that he’s even aware of her presence. Her only proof is the fact that he’s still rock hard, occasionally twitching against the depths of her walls.

At five minutes in, Nesta can’t help it. She breaks, and her inner muscles clamp around Cassian with a viselike grip. She half-sobs in pain and relief, and her hips jerk of their own accord.

Cassian’s eyes fly open at that, the pupils blown wide, and Nesta has to catch herself on his chest to keep from crumbling. If she had half a working brain left, she would have noticed the trembling restraint that lines Cassian’s limbs, or the way his eyes burn with welling desire and even sympathy. Instead, she turns her face into his chest and begs weakly, “Pleasepleaseplease.” Her thighs keep shifting, rubbing back and forth to create friction, but she can’t give herself permission to move the way she truly needs until Cassian gives her permission.

Nesta feels Cassian’s broad hand come up to carefully brush her back. She nearly weeps with relief at the touch, but he doesn’t go any further. “What do you want, baby?” he says roughly.

“You,” she forces out. She doesn’t care if this is losing.

“Me, what?” He sounds like he’s about to lose, too.

“I want you to fuck me.” She’s nearly whimpering, trying not to squirm on his lap.

Cassian, the horrible bastard, has the nerve to snicker in her ear, though he sounds more than a little wrecked when he says, “Well, why didn’t you just say so?”

In a flash, he has Nesta pinned against the porcelain tub. And before she can decide whether to laugh or moan or cry at the turn of events, Cassian covers her mouth with his and thrusts into her, giving her everything she wants.

***

Hours later, after they’ve sated themselves on sex and food and Cassian is napping sprawled out across Nesta’s back, she receives a text from Azriel telling her he won’t be there to celebrate the rest of Cassian’s birthday.

Az: You two deserve the alone time. Also I didn’t get him a present.

Another text pops up before Nesta can reply.

Az: I did order a cake to be sent up to your room, though. Don’t worry, there’s not a picture of your boobs on it.

Nesta’s eyes widen at that, not knowing why—or how—that would be an option. But she completely forgot about getting cake in all the unexpected hassle of their vacation, and not for the first time is she grateful that Azriel came along with them on their trip.

Typing back a quick thank you, Nesta clicks her phone off and curls further into Cassian’s warmth. He shifts on top of her, hugging her closer, and a moment later she feels his nose poking at the crook of her neck. “Good morning,” he murmurs thickly, sleep coating his voice.

“It’s six p.m,” she snickers. The sun slipped behind the mountains just a few minutes ago, leaving the room a blue dark.

Cassian responds by slipping his hands under her oversized tee, rubbing the muscles along her back. “Where’s everyone else?” They haven’t seen Gwyn, Emerie, or Az in hours.

Nesta turns around in Cassian’s arms to face him. “Consider them gone. We’re by ourselves for the rest of the night.”

He perks up at that. “Really?”

A knock sounds from the penthouse door, and Nesta remembers Azriel’s text. She squirms out from under Cassian’s weight with some difficulty and stands off the bed. She points a stern finger at him. “Don’t move from here,” she orders. “I’ll be back.”

Cassian leans back, looking questioning and amused, but Nesta has already jammed her feet into slippers and left the room by then.

She accepts the covered platter from room service at the door and leaves a tip, before carrying the cake over to the coffee table in the living area and setting it down. Within ten minutes, she has an entire setup arranged: the fireplace is up and roaring, the fur throw she stole from Cassian’s couch to bring on vacation is spread out before it, and the cake candles are lit. The Italian dinner that she ordered earlier also arrives by then, and once everything is laid out, she calls for Cassian to come downstairs.

He’s fully dressed in a sweater and jeans when he appears at the top of the short set of stairs, and he looks so excited to see her that he doesn’t notice the cake or the dinner until he’s only a few steps away from her. Very slowly, his smile freezes. “What’s all this?”

“It’s your birthday,” Nesta says. “Duh.”

“But I thought we already celebrated,” he stumbles, looking around. “With the skiing, and the bathtub—”

Nesta makes a face. “You thought that was celebrating?” She shakes her head and beckons Cassian over to the fur throw, right before the table decked out with food.

He sits down beside Nesta, looking over her in nothing but her thin white shirt. “Are you cold? Do you want my sweater?”

She rolls her eyes as far back as they can go. “No, I want you to focus and make a wish before 6:27.”

“How do you know my birth time?”

“Will you do it or not?” she threatens. The candle wax is melting onto the cake.

Cassian stares at her for a moment longer before finally facing the cake. Closing his eyes, he mouths something unintelligible and blows the candles out.

Nesta claps softly. “Happy two years away from thirty. What did you wish for?” She leans closer.

He leans away. “It doesn’t come true if you go around announcing it.”

Nesta’s shoulders drop. “Wishes aren’t real, Cassian.”

“That’s what you say.” He swipes a dollop of chocolate frosting off the cake with his finger and holds it out to Nesta.

Smiling, she wraps her lips around his finger, scraping the chocolate off with her teeth and licking it clean. He sucks on the same finger when she’s done, chasing after her taste and the lingering frosting. “What do you want first?” he asks. “Dinner or dessert?”

“This.” Nesta pulls out a small box from under the table, placing it in front of Cassian. She didn’t have time to find wrapping paper or a bag, but she’s a bit proud of herself anyway.

Cassian once again looks taken by surprise. “You didn’t have to…” He trails off as he reaches for the box. It’s already obvious what it is, but he still opens it carefully, hesitantly.

He stares at the silver watch for a little while and then looks back up at Nesta. “I…” He clears his throat.

“What do you think?” In all honesty, Nesta already knows. But she needs to hear it from him.

He meets her eyes. “It’s so…normal. Do you know what I mean?”

It’s the type of gift that Nesta’s mother would have given to her father, the type of gift that wives would give to their husbands. Not necessarily original or thoughtful, but domestic.

“Since you like to spend your time thinking about taxes and minivans and stuff,” Nesta says, remembering their last conversation about the future, “I thought you’d like something normal.”

Cassian laughs at that. He takes the watch out of the box and turns it over in the firelight, still a little dumbstruck. “I love it,” he says roughly.

Nesta kicks him in the knee. “It’s a watch, not an engagement ring.”

But he doesn’t hear a word, already clasping it onto his wrist.

***

Their last day at the resort starts early with Gwyn, Emerie, and Az banging on the suite door at five in the morning. Though Cassian is already up by then, Nesta snarls and snaps like a bitch at being dragged out of bed to watch the sunrise.

With everyone’s bags packed and waiting at the door, they all gather on the balcony connected to the suite in content silence. Azriel nurses a thermos of coffee that he refuses to share with Cassian, and Nesta is wrapped up in that fur throw she loves, half-asleep against Emerie.

When the sky starts lightening, Cassian pulls Nesta away from Emerie and into his body. “You’re gonna miss it,” he murmurs onto the top of her head.

She blinks awake, looking out at the sky slowly being streaked with a dozen colors. From here, the view over the mountains and the quiet town some miles beneath the resort is breathtaking. Easily better than any sunrise Cassian could have shared with Nesta back home.

It’s beautiful, and in that moment he decides he wants to see even more beautiful places than this with Nesta. Someday.

“Pretty,” she yawns, tilting her head back against his chest. Cassian feels guilty for keeping her up so late the night before, but he’s not ashamed of how she rests in his arms right now.

After the sun climbs past the lowest peak, the group of them slowly but surely come more alive. Emerie asks Az to go inside with her and do a final check before they leave, and Nesta shakes both the blanket and Cassian’s arms off herself.

“Some coffee will wake you up,” he promises her, leaving her outside in the dewy morning air with a kiss on the temple.

When Cassian returns to the balcony with two freshly brewed cups, he finds Gwyn and Nesta in deep conversation. “I never apologized for crashing your weekend,” Gwyn is saying.

“You don’t need to,” Nesta responds, watching the world wake up below her.

“Still,” Gwyn says, chewing on the inside of her cheek. “I acted out of character, didn’t I?”

Nesta turns to her then, the sun haloing her face, and the look of understanding she wears makes Cassian take a step back inside.

“He does that to me,” Gwyn goes on, looking lost as ever. “I don’t know why he does that to me.”

“First love will do that to anyone,” Nesta says.

This isn’t a conversation Cassian should be overhearing, he realizes. Turning around with his coffees, he goes to find Emerie and Azriel instead.

In the living area, Emerie realizes at the last minute that she’s missing her phone charger. By the time she finds it, Nesta and Gwyn have rejoined the group.

Cassian hands Nesta her still-warm coffee with a warmer smile. “You ready to get out of here?”

“Hell yes, baby.” She slings an arm around his waist.

They barely make it to the resort lobby before Azriel and Gwyn start arguing over which route to take home.

“Why would you add an extra hour to your trip for no reason?” Azriel is saying.

“It’s none of your business!” Gwyn retorts.

“She’s scared of highways,” Emerie inserts.

While they bicker on the way to check out, Cassian finds Nesta’s hand and runs a finger down her palm. “Hey, Nes?”

“Hm?” She looks up at him.

He curls his fingers around hers. “Thank you for doing this.”

***

a/n: i cant keep posting chapters right before i sit down to cry in front of kdramas

tagging: @hellasblessed @sjm-things @thewayshedreamed @drielecarla @valkyriewarriors @superspiritfestival @aliveahaahahafuck @cupcakey00 @sayosdreams @rainbowcheetah512 @claralady @thebluemartini @nessiantho @missing-merlin @duskandstarlight @lucy617 @sleeping-and-books @everything-that-i-love @cassianscool @swankii-art-teacher @wannawriteyouabook @awesomelena555 @julemmaes @wickedqueenoffantasy @poisonous-bloom @observationanxioustheorist @gisellefigue08 @courtofjurdan @theoverlyenthusiasticwriter @wolfiixxx @cass-nes @seashade @royaltykxx @illyrianundercover @queenestarcheron @monstrousloves-explodinggalaxies @humanexile @that-golden-lyre @agentsofsheilds @mercy-is-alive @cassiansbigwingspan @laylaameer01 @verypaleninja @maastrash @bow-dawn @perseusannabeth @dead-on-the-inside666 @jlinez @hungryreadingaddict @anidealiveson @planet-faerie @shallowhighwaters @ghostlyrose2 @chosenfamily-valkyriequeens @rarephloxes @readiajin @nessiantrashh @live-the-fangirl-life @ifinallygavein @xoblivisci @sjmships @jungtaekwoonie-is-life @lysandra-tiara @lanyjoy-13 @frosted-crackers @post-it-notes33 @loosingdreams @fromthelibraryofemilyj @18moneytoad @dontgetsalmonella @champanheandluxxury @togreblog @arinbelle @ladygabrielli1997 @meridainthedisneyland @moodymelanist @pixieelea

#ncssianwrites #a favor #nessian #nesta archeron #cassian #nessian fanfic #nessian au

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mewberii · 3 years

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Streamer!Scaramouche AU

i feel like he’d be one of the biggest streamers on his platform- probably one of those that everyone has heard of even if they’re not into watching livestreams and all

but between those who do know who he is, they either love him or hate him. no in-between

it’s kind of understandable because his attitude is not suited/can be handled by anyone

he’s brutally honest even when his opinion may be seen as rude (to him he’s just saying the truth so he doesn’t mind if people get offended)

of course he doesn’t try to be rude on purpose but i mean it as in he’ll say what he thinks

imagine he’s playing a game and he doesn’t like a certain mechanic, or he isn’t enjoying the story;

he won’t say the game is bad but he’ll openly say he doesn’t like it/it’s not for him. it makes him seem strict but tbh he’s not that hard to please and even when he complains about one or two things he still enjoys the game

he usually gives every game a chance even when from what he’s seen it doesn’t sound like a game he’ll like. if he turns out to be right he just won’t play it again and if he’s wrong he’s a little too prideful to admit he spoke a little too fast but in the end he will admit the game is good or he’s having fun

probably the kind that just knows so much about all games and all the creators and all the game-making engines and is up to date with every single news of everything video-game + streaming-related,,, how does he do it, i don’t know,,,,

and also since he’s so popular he probably gets packages from game developers with limited edition stuff or merch from different games soooo often

and he placed the ones from his favorite games in his setup room and it looks INCREDIBLE he has so much stuff

he did a room tour stream once talking about all he has, where he got everything, from his monitor to every complement of his computer and like,,,,, the cost of his setup,,,,,,, some people already know they’ll never be able to afford that in their entire life

and he already had a great setup before he even became big as a streamer so people can already guess he’s fairly rich

also i feel like he would have started his career as a streamer without using a facecam and even like that, he already managed to get very popular because of his professional commentary of game dynamics/playability + you can tell that he’s passionate about this and also he’s very funny without even trying??

he says some stuff so casually that he doesn’t realise how funny it is

probs showed his face after he hit a very important milestone

he never considered showing his face that important but he understood why people would want to see his reactions when playing games (even tho he warned them he’s not the most expressive/dramatique person in the world and they know by now) and would want to put a face to the person who entertains them so much with his streams

and when he does show his face people go absolutely cRAZY BECAUSE he is crazy good looking (if you don’t think he’s good looking i’m sorry for your eyesight. jk i’m sorry in general i just really love him)

some people who didn’t watch his streams will even check them out because of that but literally if you come for the visuals only you won’t stay for long because as i said not anyone can handle his personality

if he sees people being superficial about him too much instead of paying attention to what’s happening in the stream, he will immediately turn the subs mode on in the chat (if he didn’t have it on already)

being rude, being disrespectful/saying discriminating stuff or anything of that sort won’t be tolerated and anyone who does it will be banned instantly

without even interrupting what he was saying before he saw the comment, he’ll just type the ban to whoever said that and go on

and his mods do the exact same. they are just as strict as him

if it ever got too much of course he wouldn’t be afraid to speak up about it and tell his chat to stop that behaviour or else, as they should already know, he won’t be afraid of banning them even if they’ve been subscribed for months or years

ANYWAYS

why do i feel like he has a super organised chat— as in instead of spamming 5 emotes per comment they all send just one and it looks so tidy and perfect

literally other streamers would be jealous of how not-messy his chat is even when he has thousands and thousands and thousands of viewers all the time

also i have this idea that maybe any of his fans would have designed him as a genshin character (which would be the design of the scaramouche we know (?))

and the little pop-ups (i don’t know the name in english rIP) thingies that show up to notify when someone subscribed or donated would be lil chibi art of that design

it’d be really cool

and since i also doodled what a stream of his could look like (i’ll show it in the future when i’m done!!) i thought that way it’d be more recognisable that the streamer is scaramouche

99% of the people who have seen him irl found him too intimidating to go ask him for a picture or tell him anything

he’s not a huge fan of taking pictures anyway + is more on the introverted/reserved side but he wouldn’t mind if someone went up to him (if he’s not busy with something) to tell him something or say they enjoy his streams

i feel like in a couple occasions he would have played a game with some subscribers and he’d like to tease them speaking with his usual tone and face (in case they’re watching the stream as they talk) so they think he’s serious

“did you watch my 12 hour stream the other day?” -scaramouche

“ah,,,, i-” -the sub

“think well of what you’re going to answer.” -scaramouche

“i-i couldn’t watch the whole thing,,,” -the sub

“ah, is that so…?” -scaramouche

he’ll pretend to sound disappointed but at one point he just can’t help but smirk and hold in a chuckle before telling them he’s not serious

(he literally doesn’t know how the hell he survived that stream himself because he isn’t one to stream for that long)

i feel like deep inside people who know him would know he wouldn’t say such things seriously/wouldn’t be disappointed in anyone for not watching every single minute of his streams or not even all his streams

but he says all that so seriously that it’s,,, intimidating and they’re lowkey like “god but what if he’s not joking-”

he’d play games with the other streamers sometimes but i feel like most of the type he’d play more single-player games

it’d be so funny if he plays among us with others and for example one of those others it’s childe

both of them would always be suspecting of the other first/bickering, especially scaramouche

and if one game turns out they’re both the impostors… people would know right away

like, if any of them tried to defend the other, everyone else would be like “!?! what is this? scaramouche and childe defending each other? scary”

they’d vote one of them (maybe scaramouche) out because they started guessing + saying proof of how both of them could be the impostors (but the biggest proof is them not coming for each other’s throats sNKJFNGKJS)

scaramouche would have to resist the urge to S C R E A M

needless to say he doesn’t like when he has to be impostor with childe

and unfortunately for him, fate makes it happen considerably often

i feel like at least one time scaramouche would kill next to childe and then report it and literally blame childe

and childe would be like ?!?!?!?!?? WHAT- NO- (struggles bc his brain instinct is to say ‘it was you!’ but they’re both the impostors??? how-)

and then they’d eject childe,,, and then people wouldn’t suspect of scaramouche for most of the game because ? why would he- blame his partner---

well he did it with no regrets and at the end when they all found out they found it very funny (except for childe, but even he ended up laughing in the end because what a mean strategy sjkfhdsgkj)

i have this feeling that even though they bicker so much and for any strangers it’d seem like they hate each other, when scaramouche does play online games, many times it’d be with childe?

ik they aren’t supposed to get along but for the sake of it being a modern au i don’t want bad vibes between any of the characters pls-

and everyone enjoys their dynamic and those streams always get a ton of viewers sjfhdsgkj and i’m sure both their chats would be good friends (most likely one’s fans would also be a fan of the other too)

very very very rarely (because he prefers just playing and talking while playing) he’d do streams where he doesn’t play anything but just talks with the chat, watches videos that they send him, looks at the fanart they make, just talks about games,,,,

it’d be super chill and the perfect streams for people to be doing homework/work/play games/draw or do basically anything while they listen to his stream in the background

he’d also be answering some of people’s questions about him or about his favorite games, or if he’s playing this new game that came out earlier this week,,,

“will you play ‘it takes two’ with childe?” -someone in the chat

“absolutely not. i won’t play a co-op game with him”

not even 5 days later, tweet from childe saying “streaming in 30 minutes! Scaramouche and I will be playing It Takes Two on my ch---”

anyways this will be all!! (for now?) i obviously knew genshin before this but, yesterday i could finally start playing it myself! so i feel like if not now, soon i will also write headcanons of him playing genshin! i don’t take requests but if you guys have any ideas or anything you want to say about this AU, send me an ask!! i’d love to talk about this and about genshin in general!

also, i was very inspired to write this by @baeshijima ! so thank you very much to her for her wonderful streamer AUs and if anyone reading this hasn’t read hers already, go check them out!! they’re amazing!!

#genshin impact #genshin impact scenarios #genshin impact headcanons #genshin impact scaramouche #genshin impact x reader #scaramouche headcanons #scaramouche scenarios

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movnts · 3 years

Note

hi, first of all happy birthday, hope I’m not too late, hope you had a special day! could I maybe request something along the lines of you and mason are always arguing so the Chelsea players lock the 2 of you in a room bc they’ve had enough and want the 2 of you to solve whatever issues you have and it could maybeee end in smut? 👀

omg thank you anon!! thats so sweet, honestly ur too kind! <33

“what do you mean my coat’s in here? why on earth would it be in the cleaning closet?” you screwed your face up in utter confusion towards ben and reece, their shoulders shrugging simultaneously as they exchanged nervous glances between each other. with a huff mason crossed his arms over his chest, gripping the door handle with a stern fist as he swung the door open.

“the boss told us to put all coats and bags in the cleaning closet from now on - new rule!” ben rambled, his eyes flashing reece an they’re-totally-not-going-to-buy-that-idea look as mason mirrored your face of doubt. with a flick of the switch mason ducked through a fallen mop, hands grabbing ahold of the shelves as he hoisted himself up in order to look for his discarded training bag. a gentle shove in the back from reece had you following mason, bending to your knees as you pushed rolls of paper and bottle of soap around with an unamused sigh.

before either of you could manage another word the door was promptly slammed shut, an incoherent string of profanities falling from your mouth as you tried the handle to no avail. crossing your arms across your chest you stared as mason through narrowed eyes, eyebrows furrowing together, “why do i have the feeling that we’ve been set up?”

your tone was dripping with annoyance as he shifted from one foot to the other, avoiding your harsh gaze as he set about looking for something that could help unlock the door - his hands tossing buckets and mop heads over his shoulder as he cursed once more.

“why do you hate me?” his question was stark and unexpected, his mouth pressed into a stern frown as it quickly became your turn to ignore his intimidating gawping from across the cupboard. truthfully you didn’t exactly have an answer; the bickering and sly comments made towards each other was just something both of you had done since you started working there. it was simply just part of your routine - start work, annoy mason, let mason annoy you, go home.

“i don’t hate you-” you started but stopped your sentence midway, not sure how you were going to tackle the conversation. because honestly? riling each other up had become more of an insensitive game rather than anything else, the dry insults and witty snarls about leaving the doors open added flavour to the usual mundane working atmosphere.

“everyone seems to think you hate me, fuck, even i think you hate me!” his laugh was laced with arrogance, the emphasis on certain words leaving a tingling sensation in the pit of your stomach. it wasn’t until you were there, holed up in a dim cleaning cupboard with nothing but mason and hand sanitiser as company, that you allowed your pupils to trail from the curve of his cupids bow up to the crinkles at the corner of his eyes whenever he showed any form of emotion. as much as it pained you to say, he was insanely attractive and he knew it.

with the silence becoming deafening you took a step towards him, ridding any of the additional inches between you both as you cocked your head to the side, “now why would i hate you?”

your vision fell on the way his adam’s apple bobbed in his throat as he swallowed hard, his lip swiping out and dampening his bottom lip with a small smirk tugging on his mouth. his cheeks were still glistening with little beads of sweat from the intense training session, full of life as he broke into a massive shit-eating grin as his fingers traced from the shelf onto your shoulder. his forefinger slipped between the messily zipped up fleece you were wearing, his nail grazing across the exposed skin of your upper chest, a breath of air sucked in between your lips as he left a trail of fire with every swift movement.

“you’ve been dreaming of this since you first laid eyes on me,” his cockiness oozed with every enunciation, his hand still travelling from the curve of your collarbones, dipping between them as your breathing hitched in your throat. mason took a step forward, his chest pressed against yours with only your fleece and his flimsy training top acting as a barrier, “and i’d be lying if i said i hadn’t either.”

you clenched your thighs together in a pathetic attempt to make it look as though you were unbothered, that these fantasises that mason was spelling out in front of you were strictly just a figment of his imagination - but you were wrong. tucking a strand of hair behind your ear you tenderly thought about touching him back and letting your own fingers explore his body, desperate to feel him closer as you felt all the frustration and pent up exasperation bubble into pure desirability.

“not here,” you whispered, worried that ben and reece were probably kneeled outside, ears pressed to the doors and listening to every word you exchanged. he simply nodded, his spare forefinger pressed to his lips in a ‘shush’ motion as he slipped his other hand from beneath your jacket, your skin already feeling lonely as a wave of goosebumps crashed over your body. bottom lip tucked between your teeth you leaned forward, your mouth ghosting his earlobe as you lowered your voice to a barely audible mumble, “come back to mine, mason, and i’ll show you how much i hate you.”

#mason mount oneshot #mason mount blurb #mason mount imagine #footballer oneshots #football oneshots #footballer imagines #football imagines #footballer blurbs #football blurbs #england blurb #england imagine #england oneshot

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bellasweetwriting · 3 years

Text

RELATIONSHIPS BETWEEN COWORKERS

spencer reid x f.reader

(not my gif)

masterlist

plot: After months in the BAU, Spencer and you still don’t seem to get along.

prompt: “if I was in a room with Hitler, Napoleon and you, and I had a gun with two bullets, I’ll shoot you twice”

warnings: enemies to lovers, hate, angst, everything you can think of

note: it’s the fact that I went into a mental breakdown for almost a year and I hadn’t wrote anything... hehehehe

It was no secret Spencer and you never got along.

It all started when you first got in. You guys seemed to bond about music and movies, yet when the work started, you guys had complete different versions of what was right.

You were spontaneous, Spencer was calculated. You weren’t much of a talker, Spencer couldn’t shut up. You followed your instincts, Spencer followed data. Both of you had good ideas, but you never agreed with each other.

The whole BAU could see it, so you guys weren’t hiding it. This whole messed up organization in work killed any chance of you and Spencer ever becoming friends outside of it. The team was your family, and you love family... doesn’t mean you have to like them.

Spencer and you didn’t like each other, but both of you still cared for the other.

Sometimes, as you yell «I hate you», you don’t mean it, but when you say «I love you», you are completely joking. You don’t mean any insult, but you definitely lie in every compliment. You care for each other, but you are not friends.

You are like an old married couple that has to put up with each other, and for some reason, Hotch loves to team them you guys up in every case, maybe because the team gets entertained every time you guys have to do something together.

It’s not common to see Spencer Reid getting angry, and he always gets angry with you.

"Okay, Y/N, Reid, I need you to stay here. You got victimology. I need you guys to find a connection between this three girls."

You looked at them. They had nothing in common. Not even their eye color. Why would a serial killer have such a messed up victimology? It wasn’t a type.

You and Spencer were left alone in the police station, in the conference room where the team had set up. While Spencer was reading every bit of information about the victims, you were bouncing around, thinking about the three girls.

"Would you stop?" Spencer asked you and you paused your bouncing. "I’m trying to read... and actually work."

"I’m working, Doc," you argued before placing your index finger against the side of your forehead. "I’m using this to figure out the connection between these three girls. What are you doing?"

"Reading about the three girls and not waiting for a divine signal from the sky!" He snapped before looking down. "You are so difficult."

"You are so boring!"

Spencer has never hated someone as much as he hated you.

"Look, my mom told me to never be rude to people, but I just have to say this: If I was in a room with Hitler, Napoleon and you, and I had a gun with only two bullets, I’d shoot you twice."

You scoffed. "No, you wouldn’t. I actually save people by stopping serial killers. You’d be letting two of the worse dictators in history alive so they can kill..." But you stopped yourself before sitting next to Spencer. "Hand over the files..."

Spencer followed your request and you opened them in a hurry, taking out the class schedules for each girl.

"They all are into this tutoring program," you started reading. "They get personal classes. Brittany, the first victim, was written up from History Lessons, and the other two got English classes from the same tutoring program. These girls didn’t know each other, but they—"

"Could have the same teacher," whispered Spencer. "It’s the same tutoring couch, this guy..."

"We need to call Hotch," you mumbled. "We may have our unsub. Call Garcia, check if he fits the profile."

Hotch not always pairs you up so he can get free entertainment, but because he knows you guys do a great team. By annoying each other, you get out your best qualities into the light. You push each other to be better profilers. And you don’t realize it as you guys keep bickering each other, but if it wasn’t for the other, you wouldn’t be as good profilers as you are now.

After the case, more likely after Spencer and you cracked it up in almost fifteen minutes, you were sitting in the jet ride back home, reading a book as you were trying to stay awake.

The fact that you were reading something caught Spencer’s attention. The way you kept pushing your hair away from your face so you can read better, or how you would yawn, but refuse to sleep. He imagined you were arriving to an interesting part.

Spencer stood up, walking towards you. "I love that book. Did you arrive—"

"Shut up, Reid," you cut him off before yawning a bit. "Don’t ruin it for me like you did with The Phantom of the Opera."

"That ending was obvious. You’re a profiler!"

"How to Kill a Mockingbird?"

"Okay, that one was on purpose," he admitted as he sat down, you toes almost touching his leg from under your blanket. "I won’t ruin it for you this time."

You smirked before closing the book. "We did well today, catching that unsub."

"If we hadn’t bickered at each other like we did, we would have taken longer," pointed out Spencer. "Maybe, someone else would be dead."

You couldn’t help but to smile. "Are you calling us «superheroes», Doc?" He rolled his eyes. "I’m definitely a superhero, like Batman. You’re the other guy."

"I’m definitely not Robin."

"I know that! You’re my butler, Albert."

"Alfred," he corrected and you smiled.

"So you agree... I’m Batman and you’re Alfred."

He let out a sigh. "I’m out of this conversation."

You liked to make fun of Spencer, it was actually one of the things you liked about the job. You cared about him, even if you didn’t like him.

And that’s why sometimes you doubted. If you hate someone... why care about their well being? Is it like caring for someone of your family when you don’t actually like them? Was it like that with Spencer?

The next day, as you arrived to the office, you noticed how in your desk there’s a box with chocolates and a bouquet of flowers, and for a second you wished it was from Spencer’s.

That thought went away as fast as it came.

"Someone got their Valentine hooked already," mocked Derek as he noticed the present on your desk. "Who’s Cupid’s victim?"

"No one," you replied before reading the note. "Their from Alex, that guy I dated."

"Why is your ex boyfriend sending you flowers?" Asked Spencer as you tossed them in the bin before opening the box of chocolates.

"Because I’m unforgettable," you answered quickly before letting yourself fall on your chair.

Derek scoffed. "Yeah, right."

"It’s true!" You argued. "I date them for two weeks, give them the best sex they’ve ever had, get them hooked and then, before I catch feelings, I remember I have the busiest and most tiring job that exists and can’t date them. So... they stay in love with me knowing... I’ll never have time for them."

"Everything you just said makes me think that you have commitment issues," snapped back Spencer and you rolled your eyes before sticking out your tongue. "How matured," he mouthed, mocking you.

You turned to look at Derek. "I need to date a guy I can see every day without it affecting my work."

"So... date someone from work," offered Derek before walking away.

You thought about it for a sec before scoffing. "That’s a terrible idea."

"Actually, most successful couples—"

But you stopped him. "Don’t «actually» me, Reid, I’m not interested in your facts."

"I was just going to say... dating people that you work with or that have the same career as you increases your chances of a successful relationship. You share with someone that understands what you do. Simple logic."

You glanced over him. "So, you’re suggesting I should date someone from work?"

Spencer stood up from his desk with files in hand. "I’m saying... the statistics would be in your favor if you decide to do so."

And with that, the young genius left, leaving you with a lot of doubts.

• • •

The team and you were staying at a hotel that night for the new case they were involved in. You were quick to get in your room and toss your suitcase on the side of the bed before jumping on it, closing your eyes.

You were tired, you wanted to sleep, you wanted to rest so you could scream at Spencer the next day with the biggest amount of energy possible.

But your mission was interrupted by a knock on three door.

"Coming!" You yelled before opening the door of your room, looking at Reid standing there. "You got the wrong room. This isn’t the entrance to Dorkland."

"Very funny," he said sarcastically. "I just... About the whole... two bullets, Hitler, Napoleon... I... I didn’t mean it."

"What?" You asked in confusion. Was he apologizing for a joke?

"I wanted to make sure you knew that I didn’t mean it, that’s it, don’t read much into it."

"Yeah but why are you making sure I know you didn’t mean it? You’ve never done that before."

He exhaled. "I feel like... back at the office, we had a conversation when we didn’t insult each other hurtfully. It’s the first time we’ve had one and I kinda enjoyed it... don’t make fun of that."

You smiled. "Spencer... just because we don’t agree in work method doesn’t mean we have to hate each other till death, you know? I think... discussing our points of view could actually makes us better profilers if we stop degrading the other. Don’t you think?"

"Yeah, you may be right," he whispered. "Can I come in?"

"Why?" You asked in confusion.

"I studied more about relationships between coworkers and I want to talk to you about the upsides and downsides about dating between—"

But you interrupted him. "Spencer, is there any other reason besides apologizing that you came to my room?" But he shook his head. "Okay... let’s pretend I believe you."

But you didn’t believe him. You didn’t believe him at all.

Spencer was hiding something.

• • •

After a week of you and Spencer hanging out a bit more, you started realizing he wasn’t so bad after all. That all of that hating turned out to be more about your work rather than each other.

You realized you worked better together rather than apart, and stopped complaining every time Hotch assigned you with each other. That stopped entertaining the team.

But it was at Rossi’s game night when it changed for the first time.

When you say Reid as more than a colleague, or even a friend.

As something else.

By the way he would make Emily blow on his hands when he had the dices in between them before tossing them on the board with excitement, or when he knew the answer to each and every question, because he had memorized the entire game. By the way he would get excited every time he had something right, and angry every time the other team got something correct.

You liked Spencer Reid.

It took you long to figure out.

The next day, you approached his desk in a hurry, holding that study about relationships between coworkers between your arm and waist.

You were ready to date Reid.

#spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid #spencer criminal minds #Criminal Minds #spencer read x reader #reid criminal minds #criminal mins fanfiction #reader #spencer reid imagine

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thefanficmonster · 3 years

Text

Know No Better

Streamer Gang & Reader (Gender Neutral)

Warnings: Swearing

Genre: Platonic Fluff, HUMOR, Crack, RPF (Real Person Fic)

Summary: A game of Among Us with this gang can never go without a halt for some spit-fire accusations and bickering, but throw their mutual friend Y/N in the mix and the chaos flares up twice as intensely.

Requested by my dear friend @thelittleplantlover Hi darling! Thank you so much for being such a loyal reader and never shying away from giving me your full honest feedback. You are an amazing person, a lovely friend and a mutual I’m glad I gained on my Tumblr journey. Love you with all my heart, Vy 💕

“Yo, sorry I’m....late“ Charlie’s eyebrow raises as soon as he enters the Discord call, almost half an hour after the scheduled time due to difficulties with his wi-fi connection. However, neither his presence nor his apology are acknowledged, seeing as how he wasn’t even heard over all the shouting going on in the call. “Um, what’s going on here?“ He asks no one in particular, aware that he probably won’t get an answer.

Surprisingly, though, someone does answer him - Sykkuno. “Hey Charlie, welcome. You missed a whole round and a whole debacle between...” The yelling voices give a clear idea of who this debacle is happening between: Rae, Corpse and Y/N. “Yeah, you can probably tell between who.”

“Yo, is that Y/N? Dude, I haven’t heard from you in so long where’ve you been?“ Charlie exclaims, eyebrows raising in delighted surprise, “What are you arguing about? Imma argue with you.“

“You don’t even know what we’re arguing about!“ Rae snaps, scaring the ever-loving daylight out of the newcomer that all but shrinks a bit in his seat, “These are matters the three of us have to deal with!“

You see, Charlie’s not one to press his luck - definitely not when the sweetheart Rae lashes out like that, reminding him that the impossible can be possible if you’re a strong enough believer - but right now, seeing as how he isn’t playing yet, he’s thirsty for some amusement even if it comes with the price of being verbally beat and battered by the currently bickering trio.

“God bless the day you three actually manage to deal with something by yourselves.“ He snickers, half-hoping Rae wouldn’t hear him. Actually, it’s more one third hoping she wouldn’t the other two suggesting otherwise. Adding gasoline to the fire - it’s basically in his resume at this point.

The reply he receives is not even oriented around his statement and it doesn’t come from Rae - whether that be a blessing or a curse - but rather from Y/N. “Charlie, help! Corpse and I are being wrongfully accused over here!“

“There’s nothing wrong about my accusations! I heard you bribing Corpse into vouching for you, you impostor!“ Rae spits out the word as though this argument is a real deal and not just them throwing a collective tantrum as they usually tend to do.

“He asked me for immunity in exchange for keeping his mouth shut! I never offered it to him!“ Y/N argues back, “Not my fault he’s a corrupt crewmate!“

“You were about to accept the offer though! Who does that?!“ Rae’s not giving up her ground either.

“Anyone! All of you know you would’ve accepted the offer had you been the one to be proposed it!“ Y/N whines, reminding themself and everyone else that they are not a very argumentative or confrontational. The only time they can be caught butting heads with people is as a joke, among this very group of people and over something as small as a bribery in Among Us. “And why is no one going off at Corpse for this? Why am I the villain here? Um, hello?! I’m an impostor, I’m supposed to be evil. One of your own betrayed you, and I’M your biggest problem?!”

“I’d like it if you didn’t get me involved...“ Corpse inquires shyly, as though fearing he too is in for an outburst from Rae if he dares oppose hers and Y/N’s statements.

Unfortunately for him, he’s attacked by their joined forces with a: “YOU STARTED THIS!” Shouted at him in unison. Just like Charlie, he too shrinks in his seat.

“Hey Toast.“ Charlie nudges one of his friends, one he hasn’t heard from for the entirety of his short time in the Discord call, “You there?“

“Sup man?“ Toast answers, unmuting his mic for the first time after approximately ten minutes of silence on his end due to this heated debate going on.

“Ten bucks says this goes on for another ten minutes.“ Charlie says nonchalantly, already planning the cheap dinner he’s gonna order with those ten bucks.

“Nah man, fifteen for fifteen minutes. These two have no chill.“ Toast says, taking a sip of his soda.

“You’re both wrong.“ Sykkuno interferes, “I’m putting in twenty for twenty and I’m starting a timer.“

“WHAT?!“

The three men sit there paralyzed now that the two sides of the battlefield have temporarily united once again to end them. Lord knows when Y/N and Rae unite, nothing good is in store for those who they’re up against.

“N-nothing...I was just announcing that...“ Charlie starts off, strategically reaching for the plug for his router, “...my wi-fi’s gonna disconnect in three, two...“

“DON’T YOU DARE!“

And WHOOP he’s gone. And so are Toast, Sykkuno and Corpse.

“I really can’t believe them sometimes.“ Rae grumbles under her breath finding the miserable number of remaining players once again gathered in the cafeteria after no one got voted out despite everyone knowing it’s Y/N.

“And here I thought Charlie would back me up.“ Y/N sighs disappointedly, shooting a brief look at their chat, “Hell if I ever trust him again.“

“Look at the bright side though!“ their friend, moments ago opponent, hurries to comfort them as though their argument never happened. Technically, it really didn’t. “He’s at least not gonna get those ten bucks he sounded so confident in getting.“

Knowing Charlie, losing a bet will most likely leave him feeling torn, but hey, much to his comfort, he was the closest in guessing the duration of the arguing. You win some and you lose some, this time he’s done neither. But he will get an earful from Y/N at the first given chance they get, which he’s grown used to over the years, being the one knowing them the longest. What he’s still trying to get used to is how much they’ve clicked with his friend group. Never did he imagine his socially awkward and shy friend would steal all his friends and literally wrap them around their little finger. Truth be told, amazement aside, he’s quite proud of them for it.

Yes, of course he’s gonna try bringing this up when they open fire on him as an attempt to calm them down. Yes, he knows it probably won’t work. But also: yes, he knows what will. Cause that’s what best friends do - they know. However, they should also know better than to bet on their friends.

But come on, it’s Charlie and Y/N we’re talking about over here - neither of them know any better. Hell, no one in this gang knows better. That’s what makes them so uniquely and wonderfully chaotic.

@maat-the-prescriptive @simonsbluee @save-the-sky @itsminniekat @hacker-ghost @bi-andready-tocry @imtiredaffff @jazzkaurtheglorious @hereforbeebo @fandomgirl17 @chrysanthykios @maehemscorpyus @loraleiix @letsloveimagines @annshit @i-cant-choose-a-username-help @enigmaticmaze @divine-artemis @waterlilypat @idontknowwhatthisisfam @evi-ka @classyandfabulous00 @redperson58 @lilysdaydreams @solowheein @mythicalamphitrite @axen-gers @luckygirl144 @nj01 @buddyemily @the-albino-lioness @stardream14 @gdhdkfnn @nomadicgypsyy @preciousskye @fluffysuicideunicornsworld @o-kaelin @manacharlotte @awkward-youtube-trash @lolalee24 @bonky-beerns @meme-lord-and-savior-sebastian @strawbrinkofdeath @teenloves @tams0527 @browneyespinkhair @starstruckllamapuppy @daisychains012 @y0ulooked @tinytacosuitcaseflap @supernatural-is-my-only-life @jula-pauline @melodykitty @just-that-bi-girl @crazybutconfidentaf @lowellshade @alphakees @bellero @weallneednamjesus @starryhanji @boiled-onionrings @husherstan @fockingwhore @melaningoddessthings @prettypastelpetals @haleypearce @godwhyamiawkward @y-napotat @daisychainyoonmin @little-miss-rebel3 @free-wheelin-bi-sexual @redmoon261 @darkacademic2 @wiseflamingoqueen @into-the-end @namikhai-i @nastiablr @thelittleplantlover @mirktuan @dont-hyuck @jjk-bunny @vintagegothlover @easygoingtheatre @itsrandombooklover @miiaivi @emmybaybee @befourgolden @jjk-is-my-shit @eternalteaaars @spacebadgerx @princesslunalight @acequinn14 @samm48 @misselsbells06 @simp-lykawa @fo-love @marishimomura-blog @therealglenncoco @cinnamonbun332 @killtherandomness @sanshinexxxsan @fee-btheweeb @press-lay @cathleenpotgieter16 @jazzydoesstuff @moonlxghtbay @forestrain2000 @hyunjinhugs @blood-of-fandoms @lovellylies @ukiyolixx @simpforhpcharacters @chrisdylan17 @parkerjisung @pedernille @theodonyous @wineandionysus @malfoystilinskii05 @morbid-x @coryisagee @jessewa26 @scoobydooluver97 @mindintheskies365 @raeanneinwonderland @indecisive-empanada @gluttonypalace @loriane2503 @btsiguess-kpop @khaoticbunny @lucidlycactus @smiithys @rottenroyalebooks @kpopgirlbtssvt @fangirl-tc27 @fr0z3n-1 @notmesimpingfortechno @shotarosleftpinky @kunoi-chan @idk-whats-wrong-with-me @yikeroonie @goldenstarofthunderclan @poetry-and-tea @ama-do-writing-stuff @wishbonewolf @emeraldxhope @t0xick1tty @kusuinko @speakyourselfloveyourself @sophia902103 @lo-manburg @classsykittykat @dmgama @depressedpuppythatneedscoffee @btsiguess-kpop @akaashi-baby @gun-jong-simp @geschichtenfee @yerapotato-wp @browneyedgirl365 @thysagclub @sparklycloudnight @helloatomicshadow @queentorresstuff @vtte @val-gal @lucy-bunny17 @aaliyahh0 @katluckybear @boyleanti @straybids @franchesca-791 @cosmicstorm19 @averyisbackinthetrashcan @aomi-nabi @xlanawriter @allensimpsforcorpse

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delimeful · 4 years

Text

or set your teeth against my throat (2)

warnings: illness, mild emeto, bad decisions, miscommunication, short panic attack/flashback

---

As the night turned to dawn and then day, Roman didn’t stop running.

He couldn’t stop, even as his pace grew more and more sluggish, his path erratic. Every time he thought about pausing, finding a good campsite and finally letting himself take a breath, it was as though phantom sensations grasped at his skin or tore at his throat.

He kept moving.

It was stupid, probably, being driven forward by fear like a mindless animal. … It was definitely stupid. Still, after ages spent trapped in one form, the full moon’s pull on the wolf in him was irresistible.

For the first time in ages, he worried about the possibility of coming astray of a human settlement once the moon was overhead. Normally, Virgil was the one who dedicated himself to making sure their pack’s turning ground was far from any stab-happy humans, always double and even triple-checking.

In his current state, Roman could barely discern a single natural scent around him, let alone any human scents he should avoid. He kept feeling eyes on him, silent watchers, but the distinction between reality and his own terrified delusions was growing thinner.

When the sun finally sank below the horizon, Roman allowed himself to collapse on a soft patch of earth under a shielding copse of saplings. He had some hope, however shallow, that by wearing himself out, his wolf would spend the night curled up somewhere, settled into a sleep heavy enough to erase the pounding headache settled deep in his skull.

He’d been a fool to let himself hope.

His memories while fully-turned were foggy as usual, but the emotions were clear: he’d spent his entire night on the move. His wolf had been howling long, agonized calls into the dark around him, desperately searching for the other members of his small pack. Desperately waiting for a response that would never come.

To top it all off, when he woke up human-shaped in the early hours of dawn, his headache had only grown worse.

His only turn of fortune was that his wolf hadn’t traveled back the way he’d come, driven away by some immutable sense of danger. He could at least be grateful he wouldn’t have to make up for any lost progress, even if his body was weak and trembling from being pushed past the brink of exhaustion.

The further he got from those bloodsuckers, the better.

His vision blurred slightly with each step. It was seeming more and more likely that he was growing feverish, though it was hard to tell with nobody else around to ask. He kept pressing a hand to his forehead and neck, trying to gauge his temperature, but his hands were warm, too.

He’d complained about his packmates’ terrible circulation and icy fingers before, but there was very little he wouldn’t do for them now… Just the phantom memory of Virgil’s cool hand on his head, voice sharp but touch unbearably gentle, was enough to make tears prick his eyes.

He took a deep breath, forcing himself up on shaky legs. There was no way he could give up now, feverish or not. What would his packmates advise?

“For survival, shelter and water are most important,” he mumbled to himself, wincing at the poor imitation. He cleared some of the raspiness from his throat, imagining Logan’s face when he really got into sharing his newest bit of knowledge. “Running water is preferable to still water, which can carry illnesses, and for larger rivers there is also the potential to find freshwater food sources, like salmon, catfish, bass, um… pike, trout… cod?” He frowned, losing the careful enunciation. “Wait, is salmon freshwater?”

Logan could have listed more off, Roman was sure, but the effort helped cheer him nonetheless. He spent the next few hours winding his way through the forest, attempting every so often to sniff the air for damp soil with little success.

His ears still worked fine, however, and so when he caught the first distant trickle of rushing water, he wasted no time in following the sound. It was no river, but the stream was plenty to help quench the dryness in the back of his throat.

“Go upstream,” he could imagine Virgil demanding, “make yourself harder to track. Wolves aren’t the only ones out there with good noses.”

“The water is so cold, though,” he complained to himself even as he began sloshing through it. “I have squishy human flesh, I’m going to freeze to death.”

Here was where Logan would point out his exaggeration, and Virgil would snap something snarky to distract him from the chill.

The burbling of the water was a poor substitute.

Once his feet grew truly chilled, he waded back out, mimicking Virgil’s voice to caution himself against the more slippery-looking rocks. He probably looked a little silly, holding both parts of a conversation, but it wasn’t as though anyone was around to see.

“Cut me some slack,” he muttered to nobody, allowing the comfort of his wolf form to slide back into place as the day turned to a chilly evening and he lay to rest. “I’m maybe-possibly-feverish, I deserve good things.”

He slept fitfully, and when he woke, there was a gray coat draped over him, and a small pile of walnuts and blackberries sat at his side, the nuts already shelled and the berries freshly washed.

The incredibly suspicious nature of their appearance only stopped Roman from eating them for about five minutes, and four of those five minutes were dedicated to imagining all the reasons Virgil would list to not eat them.

“Sorry, Virge,” he said through a mouthful of fruity deliciousness.

There didn’t seem to be anyone around, and no matter how he buried his face in the coat lining, his nose was too stuffed to pick up anything. It was an extraordinarily soft coat, though, and he felt awfully cold. It was hard for even him to imagine what harm could be done with a coat.

“I’m accepting this Possibly Evil Coat, but only for a little while, so don’t get any ideas!”

The woods were quiet in response to his declaration, and he sniffed daintily before climbing to his feet, internally bemoaning the way the world swayed slightly as he moved.

Couldn’t he just sleep here a bit longer…?

He imagined the unimpressed looks his packmates would give him. Imaginary Virgil in particular wouldn’t stand for sitting around when there was every possibility he was still being hunted.

“For all you know, that vamp was just a sick mind trick, and they’ve been toying with you this whole time!” Virgil would say, jumping to the worst-possible scenario that Roman always stalwartly tried to ignore. He shuddered, glancing around himself.

“You are not helping my mood, mister,” he muttered to Imaginary Virgil as he tromped through the underbrush with much less elegant grace than usual.

The little mystery offerings from the morning had helped stave off his plummeting energy levels, but they weren’t enough. It was only midday when the lightheadedness and the chills shuddering through him became too much, and he found himself collapsed on the ground between one blink and the next.

He was contemplating the benefits of simply remaining facedown on the dirt for a while when a cool hand wrapped around his wrist, carefully tugging him onto his back.

Roman blinked at the face above him, the blurry features slowly resolving themselves into the shape of the vampire who had freed him only nights before. The fear that shot through him didn’t make him any more lucid, and Roman bared his teeth in a snarl that was probably much less fearsome on a human face.

“Told you so,” Imaginary Virgil said, instead of doing anything helpful like tearing a vampire’s throat out. Roman missed Real Virgil.

The vampire was talking, a low, constant noise meant to soothe as he shifted an arm around Roman’s shoulders, lifting him to his feet. The blood rushed to his head, vision going black-- the next thing he knew, he was inside a small cabin, swaddled in blankets, the hearth crackling merrily feet away.

… What had he been worrying about? He couldn’t remember.

A chill shuddered through him. He was still so cold, even as sweat drenched the cloth around him, and he complained relentlessly.

His packmates tolerated his sickbed whining as graciously they always did, though for some reason they were more hesitant than normal to hold him close when he called for them. They seemed to be taking his care in shifts, as there was only ever one person in view, and sometimes he woke up completely alone.

(Strange, since they normally all piled up together when one of them got sick. They probably just needed to prioritize hunting or checking their territory boundaries or something. Roman wasn’t that sick.)

When they were there, Roman rambled and bickered with them nonstop, through shudders and chattering teeth, telling old stories and adding new twists to distract from the sickness ravaging him, only pausing when they pressed coriander seeds or wormwood to his lips.

(That was a little strange. Logan knew mint worked better for Roman’s nausea. Maybe they were out?)

Time passed in a haze, marked only by the frequent offers of fresh water and stale rations. Eventually, he was able to even measure out his healing progress by how often he could keep the aforementioned nutrients down.

(One of them was busy hunting, but somehow there was never any fresh kill.)

He knew his fever had finally, properly broken when he reached out for the one who had been taking care of him all this time, and registered that their skin was icy-cold.

Roman jerked back and then instantly regretted it as every nerve in his body protested severely.

“Ah, careful!” warned the vampire, who was at least smart enough to stay out of immediate biting range. His hands fluttered around as though he was attempting to bat away the dark spots that were currently dotting Roman’s vision.

Unbidden, a rough growl tore from him. He had a heartbeat to feel vindicated at the vamp’s flinch before his breath caught in his throat, kicking off an uncontrollable coughing fit.

Each wheeze brought less and less air, and when he caught the vampire shuffling closer, it suddenly felt like he had no air at all. He hunched over his knees, shifting his hands to cover his neck pathetically, as though the motion could protect him.

“Back off,” he snapped, cursing himself when the words came out as barely more than a choked whisper. How many times had he said some variation on the phrase in the past few weeks? He should have learned by now that it never worked.

When he glanced up, though, he found the vampire had practically teleported all the way across the room. The sight of the vamp peering at Roman worriedly from the furthest corner was odd enough to yank his mind out of the half-formed flashback.

He took a deep breath, trying to remember the grounding exercises Virgil always ran through. His wrists were light, his knees didn’t ache; he wasn’t chained down. There was soft fabric around him, and warmth in the air; it was a far cry from cold cement platforms in lifeless forts.

There was a vampire here, but his eyes weren’t red, and he didn’t wear a cruel smile like a second skin. Roman might still be a prisoner, but he wasn’t there anymore.

Instead, his current location was… a curiously cozy cabin?

Roman blinked. It was a single room, a bit sparse in decor but containing a small coal stove, stocked pantry, and a cheerily roaring fireplace. He was sitting on the solitary bed, a nest of blankets creased around him.

He turned his blank gaze back to the vampire. For a moment, the only noise in the room was the low crackle-pop of burning wood.

“Are you okay?” the vampire finally asked, brow creased with what looked like genuine concern. “You’ve been really burning up, and fevers like that can take a lot out of you. At least,” a pause, “as fire as I know.”

Any and all snappy responses (both literal and metaphorical) flew instantly from Roman’s mind. He groaned and slumped over dramatically, ignoring the way his vision swam slightly at the movement. “Augh, that was terrible!”

The vampire grinned, his smile somehow dorky even with the visible fangs. “You don’t have to tell me twice: I’m a fast burner!”

“Are you sure?” Roman asked. “Because this is the worst thing you’ve done to me yet, and I’m including the mind games, apparent abduction, and imprisonment.”

“Flameous last words,” the vamp said, and then the rest of Roman’s statement seemed to catch up with him. He drooped like a wilting flower. “You’re not imprisoned here! And I’m not trying to... mess with you, or anything.”

Roman gave him an unimpressed look. “Just so we’re on the same page, that’s a yes on you abducting me, correct?”

“I mean, yeah, just a little bit,” the vampire admitted, “but I meant it in a helpful way! I wasn’t going to bother you at first, I promise, but then you got sick, and I could tell how feverish you were just looking at you, and--,”

“Wait,” said Roman, his brain slowly churning through the implications of that sentence, “you were just going to follow me without me knowing, the entire way--,” home, he didn’t say, because the mere thought of accidentally leading a coven of vicious vampires to his vulnerable packmates made his stomach turn, and then he was leaning over and being violently ill in the bucket beside his bed.

A cold weight settled against the back of his neck, soothing against his overheated skin for the few seconds it took him to realize what-- or rather, who it was. He jerked away with a halfhearted snarl, probably looking rightly pathetic.

“I’m sorry,” the vampire said mournfully, stopping him short. “I wasn’t trying to upset you, I just-- I knew it was my fault. If I’d gotten the key sooner, or been braver, you wouldn’t have been out in the cold for so long, you might not have caught sick at all. It wouldn’t be right for me to abandon you.”

“Abandon me?” Roman spluttered. What did this guy think he was, some lost pup? “I can take care of myself just fine alone, thank you very much! I have absolutely no need for suspicious sanguinous stalkers on my tail.”

For emphasis, he shoved the blankets off of himself, swung his legs over the edge of the bed, and stood up in preparation to leave.

One blink later, he was facedown on the floor, his body numb yet his nose stinging from the impact. “Ow.”

The vampire offered him a hand up. “Autumn is my favorite season, but that certainly didn’t seem like a very nice fall.”

“Must you kick a man while he’s down?” Roman bemoaned, ignoring the proffered hand in favor of pushing himself up.

His traitorous legs wobbled under him, and he ended up collapsing back into a seated position on the bed, right where he’d started. He felt a wave of familiar despair wash over him. The sickness had sapped every ounce of strength from him; whatever villainous plans lay ahead, he had no chance of foiling them.

… Maybe he could still foil some of them.

Roman met the vampire’s gaze as solidly as he could. “No matter how adeptly you try to play the kindly stranger role, I’m not going to fall for it.” I’m not going to lead you to my family. “You may as well cut your losses and do whatever it is you’re planning to do to me.”

He waved a dismissive hand for emphasis, as if it didn’t matter to him. As if the mere idea of getting so close to freedom and then dying (alone, far from his pack, without them ever even knowing what happened to him) wasn’t enough to make him feel like there were roots tangling in his lungs and weeds clogging his throat.

The vampire nodded slowly, a troubled look on his face. “In that case…”

He moved closer, and Roman focused very intently on not flinching, no matter how badly he wanted to, or how hard his body was already shaking. The vampire reached out--

“My name is Patton,” he said, very carefully offering his hand at the midpoint between them, “and what I want is for you to stay right here in this house until you’re healed, and then you can go wherever you want to go, and I’ll make an oath not to follow.”

“What?” Roman blurted, staring at Patton’s hand with blatant confusion. “You-- I-- What?”

“I really don’t want to hurt you, kiddo.” Roman stiffened, because that was a classic villain line setup if he’d ever heard one, but-- “So, once you’re healed, whatever you need me to do to prove it, I’ll do it.”

Roman’s increasing headache had nothing to do with his fever and everything to do with the oxymoron that was a philanthropist bloodsucker.

What was the right option? He couldn’t get away, but he couldn’t trust that this bizarre hospitality would last, either. Perhaps the best course of action here was inaction-- lulling the vampire into a false sense of security by pretending to be sick even as he grew healthy enough to escape?

Roman could act. He was good at it, and the bar for his illness had been set quite convincingly with his earlier faceplant. He let his muscles go lax, slumping over slightly to give off the impression of conceding without actually ever agreeing to Patton’s proposed plan.

“If you’re so intent on me trusting you, you can start by telling me where I am,” he sniffed, graciously not mentioning the abduction thing again.

Patton brightened, letting his offered hand drop without comment. “This is an aidhouse! It’s part of a system recently set up in this division of the kingdom for common good and to prevent spread of disease.”

That explained the insulated, if somewhat bare, interior. Roman raised a curious eyebrow. “And they’ll let just anyone use it?”

“That’s the principle behind it, yep! Normally, with non-plague cases, an apothecary apprentice would stop by to check in and offer guidance, but I told them I had it apothecovered!”

The puns were apparently a permanent fixture in the guy’s repertoire. Logan would be in agony. Roman ignored the pang in his chest at the thought, leaning further back against the pillow mound. “Yes, you wouldn’t want some poor apprentice to stick around long enough to find out there’s a lone vampire in their midst, would you?”

Dial it back, he could imagine Virgil hissing, as though the emo had any room to talk about unnecessary vitriol.

“Well, no,” Patton admitted, his smile turning a little strained. “But I turned them away because I already have all the experience I need! I worked as a full-time doctor before-- um, before...”

The smile turned full-on tremulous, and Roman was seized by a strange panic at the sight of it. He sprawled over the bed haughtily, the way he always did when demanding attention from his workaholic packmates.

“If you’re such a skilled doctor, then I’m sure you won’t have any problems running me through your treatments so far?” Roman challenged, inspecting his nails. It wasn’t a pointless query, either; some common human treatments were toxic to werewolves.

“Oh!” Patton said, voice still a little choked up. “Of course, let me see…”

The brink-of-tears quality to his words faded as he began to recount everything Roman had missed in his feverish haze. Patton’s exposition was nothing like Logan’s, cheerful rambling and jokes thrown in where Logan preferred efficient lists and muttered tangents.

Roman found himself drifting off to the sound regardless.

It seemed that pretending to trust Patton wouldn’t be as hard as he’d thought.

#sanders sides #ts roman #ts patton #werewolf au #vampire au #my writing #osytamt #or set your teeth against my throat #writing #fantasy au #hurt/comfort #bthb

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smallblip · 3 years

Text

Imagine being loved by me

Levihan | rated for mild mentions of sex + spoiler warning for that one forest scene levihans y’all know what’s up | [I hope you find this xoxo 🤍,🐇]

More notes on Ao3! https://archiveofourown.org/works/31001030

“You’re shit at kissing...” Levi coughs. Everything hurts, and him hacking up his lungs is testing the integrity of Hanji’s stitches. The loud humming of the forest fades to a whisper when she breathes life back into his ribs.

The shock and desperation fades from her face and she’s laughing now, “but Levi...” she drawls, “we’ve had so much practice...”

Not enough... He breathes. In a world full of people he chose her, and he has built a home in her. Now he just needs a little more time. And Hanji understands. But this world has been kind. Thirty four revolutions around the sun and she’s here in the forest with him. Everything has gone according to plan. At least in all the ways that matter. There’s still time. The world is suspended in a sunbeam, dancing like dust glinting when it catches the light.

There’s still time... We can pretend we’re the only two people left in the world...

—

To build a home in another person, all you need is a little wonder. But in this time and space, Levi is young and whatever skills he exhibits in the battlefield, he makes up for with lack of imagination.

Because imagine that- Levi having anything to do with Hanji Zoë.

“You’ll love me Levi, just you wait!” Hanji had teased, three days after first introducing herself to him with a smile and enough sunshine to last Levi a lifetime, “we’ll be best friends in no time”. To which Levi responded with a glower and a seething “not even if we’re the last two fucking people on earth.” And Levi hates himself for saying that. How fucking childish. But the need to be eloquent with Hanji is always lost under the temptation to bicker like children. They all tease him about it. Tell him that Hanji is just- well- an inevitability. And she’s never wrong. But Levi doesn’t think much of it. Her prophecy is mostly forgotten beneath the humdrum of routine death and destruction.

Until now.

Except it really isn’t a prophecy, because prophecies are mostly right aren’t they? And Levi is sure whatever they’re doing is testing the boundaries of friendship. Maybe people do kiss their best friends around here. After all what would a street rat from the underground know. But Levi’s pretty sure it’s just Hanji.

“What are you thinking of?” Hanji asks, breaking the silence that comes with being the only two people awake in the dead of night.

Levi pulls himself out of his thoughts, the lines on his forehead relax, Hanji’s words looping monotonously in the back of his mind like a mantra. “Nothing,” he says, because he’s not quite ready to give Hanji the satisfaction of being right. But it’s mostly an inevitability anyway.

“Well... Just imagine I’m a girl you like... Or a boy... Both are fine,” Hanji says, “I don’t really care,” she winks at Levi.

And Levi still thinks this is a ridiculous idea. Then again they’re young and the experiences they have in this life are limited by the affordances of what comes with the job- or the people that come with the job.

Except they’re not young. Hanji has made it twenty two rounds around the sun without dying, without so much as a scar on her arm from that one time she had failed to check her blind spot. And that means something in their line of work.

And Levi has always been susceptible to persuasion. “Join the Survey Corps.” Erwin had said, sure it took near drowning with his head dunked in a drain and a plan he has since abandoned, but he’s here now. He’s here now in Hanji’s room in the dead middle of the night and maybe it means something because he’s here even though his head is still above water and nobody is commanding him to do anything.

But there’s still this feeling in his chest, like everything is wet and he’s drowning.

He clears his throat, “why are we doing this again?” Because he’s lost the plot somewhere between genuine annoyance and realising his annoyance is a farce.

“I don’t know... Pretend we’re the last two people on earth or something?” A shrug, then “got a good image in mind?”

Everything is so simple with her and Levi struggles to come up with an image to make it easier to breathe.

But Hanji is so close to him now that they’re bumping noses. And even in the dark she’s more vivid than any image Levi can think of.

He figures he doesn’t want to imagine.

He tucks a stray strand of hair that had escaped his braiding behind her ear. His fingers skim her cheek. And at this point, Hanji thinks maybe it’s pointless to pretend that she’s imagining that boy who tends to their horses back home, or the girl from the Garrison she couldn’t quite keep her mind off- until now.

But this is just practice, a little experiment, an experience bounded by its own set of rules- this is all just pretend, it doesn’t mean anything.

So Levi thinks fuck it, because Hanji might be right, they might die tomorrow, might as well live a little.

He doesn’t tell her he’s imagining daylight- the sun streaming through the day curtains, warming the sheets. He’s imagining that sliver of light on her face, catching fire in her eyes. The place within this ray of light is one of safety. Nobody can touch them there. And Levi wonders how long it will last them.

Hanji is surprised when he leans in first and kisses her. Tentatively at first, like he’s waiting to see if she will change her mind. But Hanji is resolute in all the ways he is, and she kisses him back with fervour. She imagines they’re younger. Imagines meeting under different circumstances. Imagines they don’t have a war to fight, and they’re sitting on the edge of the wall, shovel by their sides, peering far past the fields and she’s telling Levi all the ways the earth moves to form hills and valleys. And she thinks maybe they’ve always been friends.

But the image fades a little when she brings a hand to his face, cupping his cheek, and he sighs into the kiss. Besides, she’s already told him countless times how the earth breathes.

They pull apart to breathe because breathing is somehow necessary, Levi thinks maybe he’s getting used to drowning. His eyes are glazed over.

But he snaps out of it fast enough when Hanji breaks into laughter that sounds like the morning. He scowls and pulls her close by her ponytail, pressing his forehead against hers.

“You’re shit at kissing...” he murmurs.

“Really?” Hanji drops a peck on the tip of his nose, completely unconvinced, “I guess I just need more practice...”

—

But the clumsiness of youth doesn’t quite abate with practice.

They’re on an expedition and it's storming outside the tents and Levi makes himself at home in her tent. He’s so close to her now that she can hear him breathing. And she feels like a stupid teenager with a stupid crush. But that's exactly what she is.

When she's done pretending she's asleep, she opens her eyes only to find him staring at her in the dark. She holds her breath, but she doesn't look away. Because that's how they get you right? You lose some sort of secret competition and then everything goes down hill from there and you'll have to deal with the humiliation of it all. So she forces herself to look at him, thanking the gods for her bad eyesight.

A shock of lightning illuminates the inside of the tent like a paper lantern and finds the greys of his eyes. Hanji thinks she sees her reflection swimming in his irises. Swimming or drowning- well, there's a fine line isn't there? He shifts closer to her, scowling like he's moving against his will, and Hanji holds her breath. He wraps an arm lazily around her, pressing his face into her shoulder.

"Wha-" Hanji starts, clearing her throat before continuing, "what's this?"

"Whatever you want it to be..." Levi doesn't look up, but even so, Hanji knows he's frowning, "I'm cold..."

"Alright then..." Hanji chuckles, fingers scratching at the short hairs on his neck, "we're the last two people on earth waiting for the storm to pass..."

Levi thinks about thunderstorms, and sure enough, there’s a steady patter of rain he had tuned out earlier in favour of the thrum of Hanji’s heartbeat beneath his finger tips. He hates wet weather. It’s inconvenient to say the least. Earth becomes mud and everyone tracks said mud into the mess hall. He still remembers the way Isabelle looked when she died- the rain washed away the blood, she looked peaceful almost. Maybe it’s apt. The girl who loved storms spent her last moments on earth listening to the sound of thunder.

His breath evens out against her blouse, "and?" Levi wants her to continue, to fill the gaps of thunder with her voice, because that’s all he’s been thinking about lately and he thinks he knows why.

“And we hate each other’s guts...” Hanji grins.

“Why?” Levi asks, thinking Hanji is missing the point here.

“Everyone loves a good enemies to lovers story...” Hanji laughs.

“That’s dumb...” Levi says, but Hanji is so warm that it pulls him in.

“You’re dumb.”

He scoffs. “Fine.” He says, because Hanji is an inevitability, “and then what?”

She hums, thoughtful, “we hate one another until a storm rolls by...”

—

But it's not always storming, and in fair weather, it’s hard to say what you mean. And Hanji finally realises what she feels, it’s somewhat of a breakthrough. Yet, the first thought that flashes across her mind is how inconvenient this whole situation is. She had just been teasing. She just wanted to get a rise out of Levi. And now they’re spilling over the edges of “more than just friends”.

But there’s little time to think of the details. They get into trouble and Hanji blames it on the potent mix of youth and reckless abandon. Levi blames it on Hanji.

They crash a party for the high society snobs within the inner wall only because Erwin told them they couldn't come along. Hanji’s in a borrowed dress and Levi wonders why he lets himself get dragged into these situations. But there’s more alcohol and food than they’re used to, and they learn champagne goes straight to their heads.

“What now?” He asks, when they’ve stuffed themselves full of roast and potatoes and Hanji almost feels sick.

“Wanna dance?” She replies, pupils blown wide so he knows she’s not all there.

They’re too drunk to actually call it dancing, but Hanji remembers the basics. So she leads. And Levi thinks if he looks into Hanji’s eyes now his heart will explode and he’ll be a dead man. So he opts for staring at her clavicle and mumbling the first thought that comes to his mind.

“What?” Hanji grins down at him.

“What’s this?” Levi says again, because his heart is beating out of his chest and he feels like he's going insane.

Hanji looks down at their feet, still keeping rhythm in her head- they're doing a simple box step so they can't fuck up, no matter how drunk.

"A waltz?" She says, confused, because it should be obvious enough.

"Idiot..." Levi mutters, and Hanji thinks it could be the alcohol because his cheeks are red and he's leaning too much into her. So much that she trips.

They fuck up their rhythm.

The streets are cold. That's the only reason they're holding onto each other for dear life.

That and the copious amounts of champagne in their bloodstream. Bold, brash, bubbling. They had bolted the moment Erwin had spotted them, finger raised accusatorily in their direction, mouth agape with shock. And they had done such a good job avoiding him the entire night too, only to have their cover blown when they tumble to the ground in the middle of the ballroom, with Hanji falling atop of Levi, a shared gaze between them like a cliche.

Hanji is laughing so hard she has to crouch down in the middle of the streets, arms wrapped around her belly to stop the shaking. Her dress is stained at the hem and she'll have to wash it out before returning it to Lynne. But Levi has abandoned all notions of hygiene and neatness and he's now sitting on the ground with Hanji, watching her laugh. There's a smile tugging at the corners of his lips. And he thinks to himself yeah, this is inevitable.

"You know what one of the old snobs told me when you were busy chugging champagne?” Levi says, because the moon is out and it's so full that it's almost bursting at the seams. Nothing matters. The streets are cold, but Levi feels a fire coursing through his veins.

Hanji looks up at him, wiping the tears from her eyes, "what?"

“He told me ‘your wife’s a real handful’” Levi doesn’t know why he’s quite so breathless. But it doesn’t spare him the fact that he is.

“And what did you say?” She chuckles.

Levi makes the mistake of looking up into her eyes. Her eyes with their own gravitational pull, and Levi gets dragged into orbit. “yeah she is...”

“Ah...” Hanji replies, thinking maybe she needs more alcohol. Maybe they could stop at the pub on the way back. But the churning in her gut tells her otherwise. Besides, there's enough of this to go around- this thing she calls youth and reckless abandon. In a few years she'll call him an old man, the cadets will call him a relic. But that's the distant, distant future. For now they're young and the only thing that matters is the way she's smiling at him.

The rest of the walk is quiet, and Levi makes a passing comment about being the last two fucking people on earth with how empty the streets are (“did everyone just die?”). She chortles and he doesn't quite let go of her hand. Somewhere between the party and her room, Levi drapes his jacket over her shoulders. Well, technically her jacket that he borrows all the time. It smells like him now and Hanji holds it close to her with her other hand. And when they’re back at the barracks, he walks her to her door like any boy on a date would. So Hanji tells him just that- that he's behaving exactly like a boy with a hopeless crush-

A lover boy.

And she's not at all embarrassed at the words slipping past her lips. Then again, she has never been one to be particularly careful. She’s been told she’s not exactly good at holding her tongue.

They stand there in the silence, the partial darkness of the corridor. Levi only realises he’s staring at Hanji’s lips when he glances up momentarily and catches a glimpse of her eyes widening in realisation. Realisation like she has found something about him that only she knows. Levi feels vulnerable. But all he can think of is how the blush on the bridge of her nose is beautiful. Hanji looks like she’s about to say something, there’s something amusing about this situation and it’s bubbling between them- bold and brash. In another universe, she would have the opportunity to say it. Probably something along the lines of told you Levi! Enemies to lovers! and this is the part of the story where you kiss me...

But Levi decides he doesn’t want to hear anything she has to say, so he grabs the lapels of her jacket and pulls her close. The kiss that follows, a far too gentle succession to the feeling of crumpled fabric in his fists, a press of lips against the bridge of her nose, and another one- a chaser- on the tip of her nose.

She chuckles and he frowns at the offending noise. “What’s so funny?”

“You missed...” Hanji says before pulling him close by his belt loops and kissing him on the lips.

And there's a hunger that's ignited.

His jacket hits the floor first- the one he had draped around her shoulders. Then his shirt- the only fancy thing he owns. Then her dress-

Like a waltz for two- fingers reaching, exploring, lips crashing. But they're too drunk to call it dancing, sober enough not to call it a mistake. So when they're both naked, breathless forms in the dark, Levi reaches out to press their palms together.

“I don’t know how to be anyone’s lover...” he says just before they fall asleep, and Hanji's vision has adjusted to the dark. There are stars in his eyes, brilliant enough to pull Hanji into their orbit. This is the part of the story where she falls in love with her best friend, and he falls for his, and they know one another a little too much to use the word “love”. She can’t help the smile that spreads across her face-

“Neither do I...”

—

In uncharted waters, Levi can only hope for fair weather again. And maybe it comes in the form of Hanji knocking on his door the night he becomes captain.

“I like you Levi... Does that scare you?” She says from his bed. She’s never had the best timing. But this moment is as good as any other. One terrible mission, too many deaths, and the burden of greater responsibility later, and here they are. One too many revolutions around the sun. Enough for him to be seen as some sort of god, and her, an enigma.

“How much?” He answers. The bed dips where he joins her.

“What?”

“How much do you like me?”

There’s silence. Levi can hear his own heartbeat in his ears when he lies beside her.

“Like a sunbeam...”

He scoffs, “you’re not making sense four eyes...”

She chuckles, a kiss to his forehead, where lines have gathered- hold your horses Captain...

“Imagine you’re lying in bed and it’s been raining so it’s a little cold. It’s not uncomfortable, but you notice the chill and it wakes you a little. But then the sun filters through that gap in the curtains, soft and warm and it kisses your face,” she turns to him to press a kiss to his lips for clarity’s sake, “and there’s nothing in particular you have to do, so you go back to sleep, cradled by that sunbeam, like a cat... Nice huh?”

“Yeah...” Levi says, breathless. The atmosphere is thinning and if Hanji doesn’t let up, he’ll be gasping for air soon.

“That’s how much I like you...” she grins, matter of fact, like she’s talking about the weather, about how the sun rises in the east and sets in the west.

When he goes to sleep lulled by her soft snoring he’ll dream of Hanji. In his dream he tells her he’ll steal a cat for her. Because that makes sense somehow. He needs her to know how much he loves her too. It ends with her naming the cat Albert. Levi absolutely hates it. Or at least he pretends to.

But it’s the present and they’ve sunk back into comfortable silence.

This is the part of the story where you kiss me you idiot... he hears it in her voice, warm and playful.

So he does just that. And Levi figures maybe some part of him is a sucker for romantics.

—

“Help me capture a titan, Levi!”

Levi would glower at her, tell her no before she’s allowed to finish her sentence. But they head back to camp, titan in tow, captured alive. And perhaps this is as far as romance goes in this world.

And it becomes a ritual of sorts- if we make it back, dinner’s on the sucker with fewer kills.

Except this time the date is them tearing at each other’s clothes.

Hanji never understood why anyone would put this world at the centre of the universe. There’s just too much pride in that assumption. There’s nothing particularly special about this world, yet she will live, love, and die here. A cursed rock, a beautiful rock, orbiting the sun. This is the world in which the death greets them with the hospitality of an old friend. Of an old god that whispers in their ears-

Welcome home, my children.

But at twenty five revolutions around the sun, she can’t imagine being dead. She knows she doesn’t want to die, not really, not when there’s still so much beauty to behold. There’s so much beauty in the way his heartbeat feels against her temple, in the way her toes are peeking out of the duvet, in the way he’s holding her like she is his.

“You won this time Levi... You captured a fucking titan!” She says, meaninglessly. It doesn’t matter in the larger scheme of things. Hanji would get drunk mid-way through dinner and Levi would pay. That’s just how things work around here.

“You nearly died...” Levi says, “you nearly fucking died...” he’s calm now, all the anger, all the frustration he had, has now been wrung dry from his system. Now his face is pressed against her chest, and the marks he left are just starting to surface, more brilliant than her bruises from battle are.

“Yeah... Scary huh...”

So she thinks now is as good a time as ever. This moment is precious enough. She presses a kiss to his forehead.

“What do you want to do when this ends?” She asks, because a little wonder never hurt anyone:

“If you died, all that wouldn’t even matter...” Levi says accusatorially, a petty way to be in their line of work. But it’s only because it scares him that nothing has come close to scaring him this much. If she dies, she takes everything that’s left of him with her. Levi doesn’t make the rules. That’s just how it works.

Hanji chuckles. “I’m sure you can easily find someone else... A nice little wife, an apartment in the city, a brood of kids?” She quirks a brow at him, completely missing the whole irony of lying in bed naked with a man she’s selling her little fantasy to. But she hears the others talk about it all the time- about settling down, having children. Besides this sliver of light will not last them.

“Is that what you want?” He asks.

Hanji ponders this for a moment, she thinks maybe not. It’s best not to drag someone into this life of hers, where nothing is guaranteed, where death lives on her doorstep and she knows it on a first name basis.

“No...” she answers simply. “I just want to sleep. Take a long nap... Wake up and realise it’s mid-day, then fall back asleep again.”

That sounds nice. That has always sounded nice. He thinks of sunbeams, of dust, of a stupid cat named Albert.

To build a house in another person all it takes is wonder and reckless abandon. And being around Hanji has granted Levi both.

“Maybe we could build a cottage in the forest...” he says like he’s dreaming and he has nothing to lose.

Levi doesn’t miss the crack in her voice, “didn’t peg you for a forest kinda guy...”

Levi shrugs, “figured you’d like the forest... Enough dirt for you to play in...”

Hanji chuckles breathlessly, turning to face Levi. She locks eyes with him, and she sees the boy she kissed in the dark “just to see what it feels like”.

“I don’t know how to be anyone’s lover, Levi...” her voice is a whisper, “I don’t clean, I hardly wash... I don’t know how to make bread...” After all, all things weird and abnormal come with their warning labels.

There’s a smile pulling Levi’s face.

“I do,” he says, “I’ll make the bread... Just promise me you’ll take a bath before dinner...”

Levi pictures that- a cottage in the middle of god forsaken nowhere, the last two people on earth- he glowers at her first, then they become friends, an inevitability. And now they will fall in love over a loaf of warm bread. Maybe there’s a storm outside. Maybe not. Doesn’t matter. They’re waiting on that sunbeam that always comes through their curtain in the mornings.

“Yeah...” she answers, it’s hard to breathe in vacuum. It’s hard to breathe when Levi has taken her breath away, “yeah okay...”

—

Welcome home, my children.

But Levi isn’t dead yet- not yet.

“You nearly fucking died...” Hanji had said, accusatorially. And even though she has fought it for years, she thinks maybe she has allowed herself to take him for granted. The invincible Captain Levi, now dredged up to shores like old treasure. And Hanji nurses him back to a soft glow. “What the fuck... You nearly died...” she says again, as if it isn’t already obvious by the state he’s in.

He looks at her, because moments like these are rare as of recent. He feels the ghost of her lips against his lingering under his bandages. From when she had breathed life back into his lungs. There’s still blood on her face- his blood. And even so, god, even so-

There’s sunlight percolating through the clouds, a sunbeam that reaches down to caress her face. She’s here now, this lover of yours, it says. And Levi almost confuses this moment for his dreams. But life on this unspectacular little rock has been kind, and this is reality. Slightly grimmer than he’d hope, but Hanji is still here. And he sees the years that have gone by in the way responsibility has weighed her down.

No matter. She’s here now. Waking up next to him in a beam of sunlight, dust rising and dancing like bubbles underwater. He’ll get up, warm the bread, and she’ll set two cups in front of them. And Levi would stare at his cup.

“It’s tea, idiot...” Hanji would say, but she has no business defending the cup of something that looks far too dark, too murky to be tea. So she laughs and adds a- “you know I’m really shit at making tea...”

He knows. And that’s a problem for later. For now, Levi imagines they’re the only two people left on earth.

“Maybe we could live here together... Right Levi?”

The thing about the sun. It will always be alluring to the little creatures that dwell in the leaf litter. But too much of a good thing would blind them. This little cursed rock will turn on itself, like a little ball of dirt being rolled off to some pre-determined spot. Completely meaningless in the larger scheme of things. But god, does Levi want to fly into the sun.

Instead he replies, best he can, “I don’t know how to thatch a roof...” And that’s unacceptable. It has to be. How are they going to survive in the forest without a roof. What are they going to do when the storm comes. And his reply reads with familiarity- I don’t know how to be a lover... Now a meaningless phrase exchanged between the two of them like a habit. As a warning to themselves to not get too comfortable in this world.

He hears his own heart shatter. This is the moment he realises there might not be a happy ending to their story. This is the moment he realises he had been hoping for one.

Hanji understands. She understands because she’s the same. So she breaks a smile at him.

“Neither do I...” she says. She can’t even make a decent cup of tea to save her life, and now she wants Levi to run away with her. What will they do. But god, she knows she can brave any storm with him.

“But when this is over... We can figure out how...” Levi says, laboriously, and he links his pinky with hers. He’s humanity’s strongest, surely he can learn to thatch a roof.

“Yeah...” Hanji says, breathless. She’s smart. She’ll figure it out. And she thinks she never wants to die. “Yeah okay...”

She takes this as her cue to lie beside him, head leaning against his good shoulder, hand over his heart. Hanji was right all along. Levi kisses her forehead and tells her he wants her.

“What’s this?” She whispers, eyelids getting heavy, like she’s going to drift off to a long sleep. By morning, the sun will caress her cheek, and if this life permits, she will fall back asleep again in Levi’s arms.

“Whatever you want it to be...” he replies.

“Okay...” she says-

We’re the last two people on earth, waiting for the storm to pass.

#hope you like it💖#levihaneggschange2021 #levihan #Levi x hange zoe #Levi Ackerman #hange zoe #mine #my fic #shingeki no kyojin #i hope there are no mistakes I rewrote this a few times!#Levi x hange #Levi x Hanji

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ibijau · 3 years

Text

forbidden romance gets a pt2! / on AO3

“It won't work,” Lan Xichen said with great gentleness, clearly worried about hurting Nie Huaisang's feelings.

They'd decided to meet again in that same clearing, after a few secret letters exchanged. Nie Huaisang would have preferred to only talk that way, because he trusted himself to make a person fall in love through poetry more than through his actual personality, but things had been getting... difficult at home.

So there they were again, alone in this isolated little spot of wilderness, hidden among the many shadows of a moonless night. Lan Xichen, this time, was wearing dark blue to better disappear into the night, or perhaps as a small act of rebellion against his sect. Nie Huaisang too wore dark colours, his robes those of a servant. He didn't enjoy the feeling of that rougher fabric, but there had been no choice.

Things were difficult at home.

So difficult that Nie Huaisang had taken the risk of telling Lan Xichen why he'd first tried to contact someone from Gusu Lan, all those weeks ago.

“Music can't heal him then?” Nie Huaisang asked.

“It can,” Lan Xichen corrected. “The issue is that your brother will not allow it.”

“Not if it's you, that's certain,” Nie Huaisang agreed.

He might have said that with a touch more bitterness than he should have. Lan Xichen ever so slightly flinched at the attack, though at least he didn't try to defend himself. Maybe he was feeling guilty over what had happened.

Good.

It was his fault.

“Maybe if it's your uncle who comes play for him?” Nie Huaisang suggested. “Da-ge trusts him.”

“From what you said, I don't think your brother trusts anyone anymore,” Lan Xichen replied. “I cannot blame him for it.”

“He trusts his family,” Nie Huaisang claimed with a confidence that he was far from feeling.

He'd always known that his brother trusted him. They fought and argued and disagreed and bickered, but at the end of the day they trusted each other.

They used to trust each other.

Now Nie Mingjue saw enemies everywhere, and Nie Huaisang had been forbidden to leave the Unclean Realm. For his own safety, his brother had said. And maybe he'd meant it, or maybe he'd held suspicions of some sorts. One of his brothers had just tried to kill him after all, and there were many precedents in history concerning half-brothers scheming against one another for power. Not that Nie Huaisang had ever care for power much, but he couldn't be sure Nie Mingjue remembered that.

“Da-ge has always held his sect dearer than any other leader of a great sect,” Lan Xichen agreed with a fond smile. “And perhaps... Huaisang, are there any musically inclined people among your brother's disciples?”

“No. Some of my cousins play, but very poorly. I think out of everyone in the Unclean Realm, I'm the most talented musician, and that tell you everything you need to know.”

“It does,” Lan Xichen said with a tender expression that made Nie Huaisang feel they probably meant very different things.

“I'm a very poor at it,” Nie Huaisang insisted, opening a fan to hide behind.

“I've heard you say the same thing about painting,” Lan Xichen replied. “And about poetry. I've also heard you say countless time that you never get your way with anything, only to get everyone to do exactly as you like. I think you're not always the best judge of your own abilities, Huaisang.”

That was a very low blow, especially when Lan Xichen had the guts of smiling. A real smile, that was, not the empty expression he usually had when talking to people, and which made him look like a doll, pretty and sweet but ultimately dull.

“I didn't take you for a sweet talker, er-ge,” Nie Huaisang said.

“I don't take myself for one either. I haven't said anything I don't mean,” Lan Xichen insisted, before reaching out to take Nie Huaisang's hand in his.

Nie Huaisang's other hand tightened on his fan, his face burning in spite of the cold of night. Which wouldn't do at all. He was the one supposed to be seducing Lan Xichen into actually helping!

“Er-ge, I'm very glad you think so well of me, but I simply cannot...”

“Do you play the guqin?” Lan Xichen asked, and it was so rare for him to interrupt anyone that Nie Huaisang could only silently nod.

He felt a pang of regret when Lan Xichen let go of his hand. He was only missing the warmth, he told himself. Then he saw Lan Xichen produce a guqin from a qiankun pouch, and regret was soon replaced by panic.

“You're not serious,” Nie Huaisang gasped, watching as Lan Xichen carefully set the instrument on the smoothest patch of ground to be found in the clearing.

“I am very serious,” Lan Xichen replied after sitting down, making a gesture to invite Nie Huaisang to do the same. “You've said this place is isolated, and I need to hear you play to find out if you might be taught Cleansing.”

Nie Huaisang shivered at the name of that song, and glared at the guqin.

“Isn't that song a Lan secret?”

“I have previously obtained permission to teach it to an outsider to help with da-ge's poor health,” Lan Xichen said. “I believe I am still within the perimeter of what was granted to me.”

It surprised Nie Huaisang that Lan Xichen could twist the truth like that. In other circumstances, he might have been impressed. At the moment though, he was little inclined to think well of Lan Xichen.

“Considering what happened last time, I'm surprised you're sticking to that plan,” Nie Huaisang said, only to regret it when pain flashed on the other man's face.

“It would be different this time,” Lan Xichen replied, lowering his gaze, though he could not hide the slight trembling in his voice. “I know I misjudged A-Yao. Your brother was right, and I was wrong. But when it comes to you, da-ge and I have always been of a same mind. If I cannot trust you to save him, there isn't a person in the world I can trust.”

That might have been the nicest thing anyone had ever said about Nie Huaisang.

It might also be the most overestimated he'd ever been in his life. Because while he would very gladly do almost anything to save his brother, as long as if didn't involved getting dirty, or physical effort, or indeed efforts of any sort at all... well, the fact still remained that Nie Huaisang had no cultivation to speak of, no friends to rely on, and no useful skill of any sorts.

And yet knowing all this, Nie Huaisang still found himself sitting down on the dirt next to that damn guqin. He closed his fan, stretched his fingers, and tried to recall one of the few melodies he'd ever bothered to learn before he'd decided that music was too much work. It had been so long, though, and instead his mind provided him with the only piece of music that had been on his mind in recent weeks.

It took a dozen notes at most for Lan Xichen to realise what Nie Huaisang had chosen to play. He stiffened and went pale, but did not order Nie Huaisang to stop. On the contrary he listened attentively through the whole piece, though at one point Nie Huaisang must have made some great mistake because Lan Xichen frowned and couldn't refrain a grimace of distaste. It only lasted a short while though, after which his expression turned more neutral again until Nie Huaisang was done playing.

“As I've said, I have very little skill,” Nie Huaisang said, putting his hands on his knees. “You'll need another...”

“I assume you've never seen the score of Cleansing?” Lan Xichen asked.

“No. San-ge was always worried about me dirtying it. It made me real mad, too! I'm only a little clumsy!”

“So you just played it by ear?” Lan Xichen insisted. “I don't recall that I ever played it in your presence though.”

Nie Huaisang shook his head.

“I spied on them,” he confessed. “San-ge didn't want for me to hear him play it because he said it might have a bad effect on me, seeing as I didn't need it. But I was curious. And bored. And I don't like being told what to do.”

To his disappointment, Lan Xichen didn't smile at that little joke, and only grew more serious.

“And you played it exactly as he did?”

“As close to it as I can do with my skill. Do you... do think that was the wrong version of the song?”

“A whole passage is different,” Lan Xichen confirmed. “It's... Huaisang, are you well?”

Nie Huaisang shook his head. He felt like screaming, and he felt like crying.

That time he'd spied on Jin Guangyao and Nie Mingjue to hear Cleansing had been the very first time Jin Guangyao played the song alone for their brother. If Cleansing had already been altered back then, it meant...

Somehow, Nie Huaisang had convinced himself that the attempt on his brother's life had just been that one bad healing session. Nie Huaisang had been so fond of Jin Guangyao before this whole business, he hadn't wanted to imagine the other man could be cruel. Ruthless, yes, but he was a Jin after all so it was to be expected, and every sect engaged in a little murder here and there. But this hadn't just been murder. It had been torture. A healing song modified until it became painful to whoever heard it, until it drove them to madness, to no longer knowing friend from foe.

Suddenly, Nie Huaisang found himself a little more willing to believe some rumours he'd heard, about Jin Guangyao having served Wen Ruohan as the chief inventor of his torture playground. He'd always dismissed it as impossible, since Jin Guangyao was so sweet and soft spoken. But it took a certain kind of mind to do what Jin Guangyao had done to Nie Mingjue.

“I'm going to kill him,” Nie Huaisang hissed.

“I don't think da-ge would want for you to become a murderer,” Lan Xichen replied, ever practical and sensible.

He would have been right, once. Nie Mingjue wanted for his little brother to be stronger so he could protect himself, he'd never aimed to turn Nie Huaisang into a killer.

Now, though, nobody really knew what Nie Mingjue wanted, himself least of all.

“We'll see in time how to ensure those who harmed da-ge pay for what they've done,” Lan Xichen promised, leaning toward Nie Huaisang to put one hand on his shoulder. It felt comforting, more than it had any right to do. “For now, let's focus on healing da-ge,” Lan Xichen continued. “I was right to suspect you're a better musician than you said. I think you really can do this, with a little work. I'm going to leave that guqin with you so you can practice, and next time we meet I'll bring you the score for Cleansing so you may learn to play the true song. That will leave us only with the problem of how to get da-ge to listen to it but... I'm sure you'll find something. You've always been so good at getting him to do what you want.”

That was asking too much, Nie Huaisang thought. He was only himself. Even if he learned the score, his cultivation was too low, his brother's patience too thin. It would surely go very wrong, the way everything kept going wrong lately.

If it had been anyone else telling him he could save his brother, Nie Huaisang would have laughed to their face, or suspected them of manipulation. But Lan Xichen was the sort of person who would say nothing to avoid saying something he didn't believe in, or else he would quietly change the subject, or ask for another person's opinion, or...

Lan Xichen, as far as Nie Huaisang knew, just didn't lie.

Meaning he had to really think Nie Huaisang could do this. That he could master the guqin in just a few weeks, and also master a song that Lan Xichen himself has often described as particularly complex.

It was ridiculous, and Nie Huaisang was too realistic to have any faith in himself, but...

But perhaps it would be enough that Lan Xichen believed in him.

It made him want to make an effort to try, at least.

#xisang #nie huaisang #lan xichen #mo dao zu shi #forbidden romance au #don't really know where I'm going with this #nhs is falling faster than planned oops #jau writes

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local-spoon-does-a-thing · 4 years

Text

Found ( Part 1/2)

[(Bayverse) Optimus Prime x Reader)

A/N: Okay so this takes place during Transformers: Age of Extinction. When I was younger I loved the movie (mostly because it had dinosaurs) but once I re-watched it...yeah, it was meh for me. In my opinion, first film was better than the sequels. Anyways, I thought “hey, what would happen if reader was separated from Optimus then reunited after all these years?” And so, I did it. I’m dividing this into two parts since I don’t want to make this too long. The second part is mostly going to be the interaction between reader and Optimus. Also, the reader is like in early or mid-twenties.

You can find the second part here!

Summary: 5 years have passed since you last saw Optimus Prime, your guardian. Since then, you’ve traveled with the Autobots and went in hiding with them. Just as you were about to give up hope, Optimus summons the Autobots.

Warning: Angst, angst, angst, angst, spoilers for T:AOE

It’s been 5 years since you last saw Optimus Prime. Leader of the Autobots, your guardian and best friend. In the aftermath of the events in Chicago, you thought that everything would somewhat go back to normal. Hunting down more Decepticons with your teammates, going on missions together, having Optimus scold you for not doing your homework. Though of course, nothing would be the same without Ironhide. His death absolutely destroyed you. But greater matters were forced to be looked upon, such as the public starting to see the Autobots as a threat, which was very stupid considering that they saved the whole damn world, NEST disbanding, the ‘Bots having to be on the run, and finally, Optimus disappearing from the team. With your long time contribution to the team, you were hunted down as well. Cemetery Wind demanded information about the Cybertronians, every single piece of detail, but you didn’t let them. Now with you being wanted and labeled as a fugitive, you could never truly return to your normal life. Your future dream university? Say goodbye to that. Your friends and family? You left with Bumblebee, not wanting to put any of them in danger. If they were, then you knew that their blood would be on your hands and you just could not accept that.

You supported Bumblebee when he was suddenly assigned as the commanding leader of the Autobot refugees. Despite them belittling and discouraging him, you stayed by his side. You always wondered what Ironhide would’ve done. He would’ve probably done things his own way. What would Ratchet do? You missed the grumpy medic and him meddling about your health. And Optimus...you missed him. A lot. You missed the times where he would be off-guard by some of your witty jokes, you missed how he would let you sleep in his alternate form whenever you dreamt of Decepticons, you missed his rare laughs and chuckles. You really, really missed him. As time went on by, you noticed that even Bumblebee was changing. He grew a bit more mature, but you knew that the responsibility of being a leader was too much for him. He missed Sam, and you did too. Though you two were only neighbors at first, you grew close and became siblings with one another. After his run-in with Cemetery Wind, you knew that he wasn’t coming back. At that point, you were growing hopeless. You tried getting along with Hound, Drift, and Crosshairs throughout the years, but you were too tired to hold up a conversation with them. Luckily, they reluctantly accepted you as a comrade.

As everyone was changing, you noticed that so were you. You were no longer joking around as much as you used to. You became quiet and serious. Yes, you would still give out encouragement and words of optimism to not let the flame of hope die out, but lately, it started to feel and sound fake. Were you trying to convince the others to not give up or were you trying to convince yourself? For the majority of the last 5 years, you tried believing that Optimus and Ratchet were still alive, just in hiding. Your poor heart simply couldn’t handle the weight of indescribable sorrow if news broke out that the two were gone. You’ve already witnessed Optimus die once and you couldn’t do that whole thing again. Hope was something that you needed but it started to become something that you could no longer grasp. When your dying flame of hope was at its last breath, that’s when he came in. The voice you haven’t heard in a very long time.

“Calling all Autobots. Calling all Autobots.”

It was Optimus Prime, calling from the radio. Bumblebee abruptly stopped the drive, causing you to almost hit your head against the steering wheel. After you hissed out his name, you turned to the radio in disbelief. Were you hearing things or was this reality? Bee then started to mess the radio until Optimus’s message was playing on repeat. No. Way. This was actually happening. You didn’t even have time to gather your thoughts before Bee started redirecting his coordinate and driving to where his leader was located, at full speed. Your heart was pounding and you were starting to feel the adrenaline rushing in. Reality still had yet to sink in. Everything was starting to get overwhelming, even if only a couple of moments had passed by. This was real. This had to be real.

You clutched your stomach and nibbled the bottom of your lip. This was supposed to be a great thing and it was! Then why did you feel sick to your stomach? You’ve heard of people throwing up from nervousness. Was this what you were feeling? Why were you nervous? You wanted to see him, absolutely! But after all this time, after all these years, were you even prepared? What if it was just a false alarm and you would get trapped by Decepticons or any other enemies? What if Cemetery Wind had already got him and tried to use him as bait? That last thought had almost made you puke right then and there. Whether you were ready or not, it was time.

You watched as the rest of the team had already met up with Optimus. The color of his alternate form made you stare at him with wide eyes as all the memories of you two together flashed for a second. Your jaw slightly dropped open and so many things ran around your mind. You were so out of reality that you hadn’t even noticed Bumblebee already transforming out of his alternate form and perching you on top of his shoulder. As he walked towards him, you watched Optimus’s transformation one last time and as always, it never ceases to amaze you and put you in a trance.

“Humans have asked us to play by their rules. Well, the rules have just changed.”

His deep voice filled your ears and for the first time, you relaxed. You could never forget what he sounded like, even during your darkest moments when you had tried to forget in an attempt to get rid of the pain that tore your heart to shreds. Words could not do justice to how you were feeling at this exact moment. The moment when you were finally reunited with your long lost guardian. Bumblebee gently let you down from his shoulder and as the team argued and bickered, all you could do was stare and not move. If this was a dream, then you never wanted to wake up. After an eternity of staring, Optimus’s optics met with your [e/c] orbs and you swore that you saw his breath hitch.

You weren’t the only one that was worried. During Optimus’s time away from the team and trying to stay hidden, there was not a single thought where he would not worry about you. He always wondered if you were okay and...still alive. It broke his spark every time he imagined that you were dead, six feet underground. Or worse yet, if no one had even known where your body was. He thought that once he would get out of hiding, and he knew that he would one day, the first thing he did not want to hear was that you were either found dead or missing. He hoped that you were out there, having a good life and spending your time in university. Until he went to slumber, until the day that he would be found by Cade Yeager, he yearned for the day where he would get to hear your jokes one last time.

Here you were. Alive and still moving with Bumblebee and the others. His expression softened ever so slightly and he felt a big weight being lifted off of his shoulders. He took a long moment just looking at you. You’ve certainly grown and he knew that you were no longer the bratty teenager he grew to love. Sadness washed over him when he realized that he didn’t get to see you grow up as he was absent for the past 5 years. Questions went in and out, but they were going to have to be asked later. He gave you an ever so slightly ghost of a smile and a small nod.

We can talk later.

You snapped out of your trance once Crosshairs and Hound pointed their guns towards the strangers that you had failed to notice earlier. A young lady, a man who seems to be her father, and another boy.

“Stop, Hound- both of you! They’ve risked their lives for mine.”

For a long time, you stood in the same spot Bumblebee had put you. It was like you had forgotten to move. But once you started to walk towards Optimus and the three strangers, each step made your knees feel weak. Nothing was fully sinking in, yet you continued on. You held out your hand towards them and went on to introduce yourself.

“Uh, hey there. The name’s Cade Yeager and this is my daughter, Tessa. I assume you’re with the other…’Bots?” The young girl next to him gave you a shy smile and a small wave before the boy came in.

“Oh and I’m Shane, by the way. Nice to meet you.”

You shook the three people’s hands and gave a small but welcoming smile. At long last, you finally got to meet some humans that weren’t hunting you down and trying to kill you. It felt so refreshing to interact with someone that wasn't an alien, car transforming robot.

“[Y/N], and yeah, I’ve been traveling with the Autobots for umm...a few years now or so. Also, I just want to thank you for helping Optimus. Seriously, you have no idea how grateful I am, along with the others as well.”

The way you spoke of Optimus’s name gave you a foreign feeling. Later during the straggling years, especially recently, you rarely spoke of his name since whenever you did, it always gave you an uneasy feeling in the pit of your stomach. But now, you were able to say it with ease after knowing that he was okay. Cade gave you a smile and scratched the back of his neck.

“It’s no problem at all, really. I saw the way you looked at him and I’m glad that I could help.”

Optimus stared and observed you during your whole interaction with them. There were so many things to say and so many things to discuss with you. Though as he promised, he would have to do that later. Your hair was a bit of a mess, your clothes were a bit dirty and there were some torn bits here and there from all the battles and run-ins you had with the enemy. If he were to look closer, he would be able to notice scars that have been implanted onto your skin. Gashes, cuts, bullet wounds; they were there. He tore his gaze away from you and looked towards the rest of the team.

“Autobots, we will remain here and recharge for the rest of the day. Once everything is settled, we will discuss further plans with Cade Yeager.”

And so, the whole team went to settle down for the day. To your despair, you had little time with Optimus to discuss pretty much everything that had been going on. He had wanted to talk to you as much as you wanted to talk to him, but he was already occupied with what Bumblebee, Crosshairs, Hound, and Drift wanted to tell him. All the reports and notable news about Cemetery Wind and some bickering between the team. Meanwhile, you tried to distract yourself by helping the Yeagers and Shane set up a camp. Drift had been more than helpful by chopping wood from nearby dead trees with his blades. Before you knew it, night had fallen. Hound was able to set a campfire by using measures that were too extreme for your taste. You sat down beside Bumblebee, staring into the crackling fire. You quietly listened to the conversation that was going on beside you. The Autobots spoke of any possible refugees that had come within the years while Cade was being the typical overprotective dad. That almost made you chuckle. It reminded you of your father whenever he saw you hanging out with a potential love interest. God, when was the last time you had even thought about your parents? You wondered how they were doing and if they were still kicking. You wondered that if you were ever to come back to them, would they ever forgive you for running away and scaring them to death? Your heart ached as you thought more about them. If you could just give them one message that told them that you were okay, that would be enough.

Suddenly, you looked up when you heard Drift talking shit about Bumblebee once again. Almost simultaneously, both you and the giant yellow robot rolled your eyes before he stood up from his seat and approached the giant blue robot.

“He’s like a child.”

“This child is about to kick your ass.”

“He brings us shame.”

It didn’t take long for the two to start brawling. You crossed your arms and legs and sighed as you watched the two of them getting it on. Normally, you would’ve tried to stop them and diffuse the situation, but you were just too tired. Too much has happened in one day and you deserved some rest. Plus, Optimus was here now. He could handle them. Then, you noticed the three other friendlies move towards your side, taking a couple of steps back behind you. You heard the girl Tessa comment on what was wrong with them. Ironically, that was your first thought that came into mind when you first met the refugees. Glad that you weren’t the only one.

“Lockdown is hunting us and humans are helping. We need to know why.” Optimus spoke.

“Listen, I don’t know why, but I have an idea about who.” Cade replied.

That led to you watching a couple of clips that he managed to snatch from a drone. Just as you thought that things couldn’t get worse, it did. You watched as Ratchet and Leadfoot had met their demise by the humans attacking them. Ratchet...the grumpy medic you became very fond of, one of the very first Transformers you’ve met. All the missions you went with him, all the meddling you had to put up with from him, and all the scolding he gave you because he cared about you. Though you weren’t as close to Leadfoot as you were with Ratchet, you knew that he was a good ‘Bot. Two of your closest friends, down and out. Ratchet and Ironhide, both who never got to peacefully pass away. You hung your head low as you rested your elbows on top of your knees. Your hair fell in front of your face as silent, bitter tears fell to the ground below you. “Savages” as Hound had called him. And he was right, that was the exact word that had described how the humans were in the footage. Ratchet had even begged that he was a medic and an Autobot. Your blood continued to boil even once the footage was finished playing.

Quickly, you wiped away the tears by harshly jabbing your knuckles into your eyes and looked towards the others as they continued to discuss what was happening. Cade mentioned that the headquarters were located in Chicago and had offered to help them with the mission. He told how if he didn’t help them, then they wouldn’t be able to get their normal lives back. Funny thing was that once you’ve associated yourself with the Autobots, there was no way your life was going to fully revert back to its normal self. You and Sam knew that all too well.

“Autobots, I have sworn to never kill humans,” Optimus said, “but when I find out who’s behind this, he’s going to die.”

This old robot always manages to catch you off-guard. In all the years you’ve known him, you have never heard him say anything with a threatening voice. A scary one, in fact. To you, he was the calmest person you knew. Calculated and dangerous, but he was calm. He defined a true leader. But he was going to kill humans? Just before he declared that statement, he admitted that he swore to not kill humans. You knew that he was enraged with what Cemetery Wind and KSI had done to his close friends and you didn’t blame him for wanting to kill someone responsible. It just seemed so off; so out of character. It was jarring.

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