#in the west at least. like just go watch a really sad thing on purpose to cry and you'll feel better i promise

[sanstropfremir]

not the same anon but i thought it was interesting that the person shared they loved how transparent and more performative kpop is. and how kpop is a brand more than a band. i feel like the push has been the opposite, especially for the 4th gen. there's more content for idols to show "their real personalities". also, with more and more idols producing their own group's music, its a way to show that these idols are not "brands" and are "true artists" (whatever that means). like we see more behind-the-scenes of idols and their "participation" in their work to help push this agenda. maybe i read/understood that post wrong?

but i definitely agree that i wish we see more from the creative teams that help build these idols. taeyeon's/hyuna's stylist has a youtube channel and even though she only shows v small glimpses of her work, it was still interesting to see.

no i think you understood it right! i didn't really touch on it in that particular post but yes there is absolutely a push to 'make things more authentic' in kpop at the moment that runs counterintuitively to the nature of the work. i've mentioned it a lot in my bts posts and maybe in a couple other places here and there but the whole movement towards portraying the idol industry as something closer to like how indie artists work is a) bringing down the quality of the work, b) disingeniuous to everyone who works behind the idols, and c) it blurs the line between personal life and job. entertainment companies now are pushing the whole idols as real-people-musicians-type deal because it brings the industry closer to how the western pop industry is perceived, where the pervading myth is that all major pop stars are just very talented people that just 'happened' to make it big. i know i'm also maybe blowing the artistic standards of this a bit out of proportion because at the end of the day, the idol persona is meant to be the product that's marketed to consumers, but personally i find that boring and capitalistic and a pretty big indicator that celebrity culture has destroyed our collective human desire to seek out good stories/art. like we obviously still do it, considering how scandals and drama always generate a huge amount of attention, but we've lost the ability to understand that that doesn't have to be real. i see lots of people on youtube making videos about why drama channels and the such are so popular and like.......it's literally because human beings like stories. we've just replaced sitting around a firepit/in an alehouse/going to the theatre/reading a book even with doomscrolling through tiktok/twitter/youtube or whatever, without telling anyone that the content doesn't have to be real. idk i think i'm going off on a really obtuse and kind of pretentious tangent here but like. this is my whole thing about the lack of public arts education. and not like, learning how to read music or how to paint or whatever, because i think that's what people think arts education means; i mean education about the history and function of art in human culture. i'm very privileged to have been well educated, but even i, who have had a lengthy arts-dominant education, didn't realize just how old and how transcendant and how human storytelling is until the fourth year of my THEATRE undergrad. like people will say it all the time, but no one ever backs it up or SHOWS it to you. almost every culture has a form of storytelling/theatre that involves specific character archetypes and usually masks: ancient greek theatre, several forms of chinese theatre and dance including peking opera, indonesian shadow puppet theatre, japanese noh theatre, korean talchum, italian commedia dell'arte, english and european mystery and miracle plays. it is literally everywhere. even in forms that don't necessarily involve strict archetypes like kabuki theatre still have traditions in which the actors go by stage names which are passed down through schools or families for generations. we know and have known for literal thousands of years that good stories are not real and they do not have to be to be valuable. the idol industry (and celeb culture as a whole) is like, a weird twisted funhouse mirror: you are obviously and clearly doing a job but also you're not allowed to ever say or acknowledge that you're doing a job; you have to make art (or 'content') but the quality and content of the art doesn't matter; you have to be real but you can't be human. it's really fucked up and dangerous and unsustainable and i truly think it's rotting our brains.

[beigehearts]

Multiple requests are fine! Requests are unlimited. 

This is a cool idea so hell yeah

Yandere Adult Trio finding you after a few years after escape CW: physical abuse, mentions of kidnapping, blood, needles

Hisoka

This is rather nice actually. A quiet life in the middle of nowhere where no one questions you. It’s somewhat of a farming community you live in. You work at a farmers market, selling fresh fruits and vegetables to the same people every day. Everyone here recognizes you under your fake identity, and treats you as part of the community. As if you didn’t randomly appear one day. As if you aren’t in hiding. 

It’s been about three years you would say. Three years since you escaped... him. You dyed your hair, wore colored contacts and completely changed your clothing look. You moved countries, learned a new language, and completely dropped your entire identity and life. It was the only way you could escape him. How you escaped him remains a mystery to you too. He was always attentive but- you escaped that last time. Slipped through his fingers. 

Mr. Grady, the oldest farmer in town hobbles over to your stand and smiles with his big loose mouth. He only has a few teeth but you don’t need many when you blend all of your food anyway.

“Oh hello Charlie. How are you today?” He asks with his frail old man voice.

You smile back and begin bagging up the usual for him. “Very good Mr. Grady. How are you?” 

Your conversations are never short but it’s almost become a highlight of your day to hear the old man ramble. “Oh you know. The sheep dog are sick, so I tried rounding those cows up with my cat. He practically got trampled!” He throws his arms up as if it’s unbelievable. You somewhat listen as he continues. “... moral of the story is, cats are unreliable and only have two lives.” 

As you hand the paper bag over the counter the old man stops to think for a moment. “I saw someone new up by the shops today, he was a real character. Quite tall too.” 

You nod and get the change for the money he hands you, “Oh really? Did you talk to him?”

“He wasn’t much interested in me. Though he didn’t seem like a normal traveler. He was much too eccentric for that.” He offers one last toothless smile, “Don’t work too late. It’s time for the foxbears to come out of hibernation soon.” 

Before you can further question him, he hobbles off pretty quickly for an old man. Of course you’re overreacting but someone eccentric and tall randomly coming to town? No it couldn’t be. It’s been over three years since then. And he wouldn’t go this far for you would he? 

After closing up the shop you grab the keys to your car and head for the ‘parking lot’. It’s a field with white lines spray painted on the grass with a single light to illuminate the whole place. You hop into your car and are just glad to finally go home after a long day. It was rather slow but that’s because it was a tuesday. It is very busy on friday-monday. You start your car, and turn on the air, you plug your phone in and relax some into your seat.

You adjust your rear view mirror and scream when you do. You just barely catch the reflection of someone in the back of your car. He’s sitting in the back seat watching you closely. You decide against turning around to face him.

“Hello y/n. Or is it Charlie?” He asks calmly, as if it were a casual conversation.

You clear your throat and try to control your shaking. “What are you doing here Hisoka?” 

He ignores your question completely. “You really know how to choose a nice town. Quiet, friendly, off the grid.”

“I suppose.” Your hands grip on the steering wheel tightens. “How did you find me?”

“Oh, well, it was quite hard really. You did a good job. But once I found the first person who helped you change your identity, it was just a matter of going down the chain.”

You’d rather not think about what happened to those people. “And what are you doing here?” You repeat your question.

“Well there’s only one thing I’m here for of course.” He leans back in the seat, just barely having enough room for his legs. “I’ve come to bring you home.” 

“I don’t want to. It’s nice here.” You state as if you have an option. 

He leans forward this time, and cranes his head around the drivers seat to whisper in your ear, “It’s really not up to you pet.”

Before you can even react, there’s a rope around your neck, and he’s pulling you hard against your seat. You claw at the rope and gasp for air. You try to turn some but the rope burn hurts too much. You manage to get your fingers under the rope around your neck, and throw yourself forward.

His head smacks the back of your seat but your head smacks the wheel, honking the horn. There’s no doubt that you’re bleeding. You throw the rope over your head and jump out of the car, and run. But he’s much faster.

He jumps out of the car and before you know it, he grabs the back of your shirt, pulling you to him. He holds you against himself with his arms, leaving no room for escape. But you have one more trick up your sleeve. You throw your head back as hard you can and headbutt his face. There’s a loud crack that you can only assume is his nose. 

He groans and his nails dig into your skin through your clothes. “You really got feisty while I was away.” His nails begin to pierce your skin, ripping through the cloth of your shirt. “But it’s no matter, it only turns me on more.”

Illumi

To say you’re on the run is an understatement. You’re practically sprinting away even all these years later. You know that if you stop for even a few days that he would find you. You spend no more than three days at a time in the same place. You’ve travelled half of the world by now- and quite honestly it has been somewhat nice. Not just the freedom from the suffocating grasp of your captor Illumi, but being able to see the world. You would never have done this if not for the situation you were in. Maybe things happen for a reason.

It feels like forever since you’ve been travelling. But the reality is that it’s only been two years. Two long years of not stopping. You have a new name and often go days without eating. It’s not easy getting money when you aren’t in the same area for long. 

It was late night when you escaped from him. He never let his guard down so you just had to go for it. He wasn’t expecting you to make a mad dash out of the manor, and hide out in the woods for a few days. Slowly but surely you managed to get out of the mountain prison, leaving through the small door next to the office. The man working at the entrance was sipping tea and reading the newspaper when you left much too busy to pay attention to you. You’re more than sure he was punished for missing you leaving. But sometimes you wonder if he chose to ignore you on purpose, and let you escape. 

It’s a beautiful morning. You slept on a few blankets and a sweatshirt as a pillow on the ground of a cave. It was hard to get any sleep at first but you managed to get used to the back pain. The sun is shining through the canopy, streams of light illuminating the cave. The grass outside of the cave is wet with dew droplets. It’s only slightly humid but the breeze with the warm weather is heavenly. It’s not every day you get good weather like this. 

You sit up and stretch your arms in the air, yawning tiredly. Your usual morning routine was to get a fire started, and put the tiny kettle above it. In your small backpack you have a few essential items. Coffee being one of them. You get out your tin can after jimmying a fire and filling the kettle with water from a nearby stream. You drop some instant coffee grounds in the kettle and bask in the aroma of coffee. 

You pour yourself a cup and put some powdered milk packets and splenda in the cup, stirring it with a stick that looked relatively... clean. But you had a feeling that today was the day. You weren’t sure why this morning you knew he would find you. But you did. Almost on cue, you hear footsteps approach behind you.

You bring the tin cup to your lips, taking a long sip of the hot coffee. 

“So this is where you’ve been.” You don’t even flinch at his words. You knew this was inevitable. 

The coffee burns your tongue. “Yes, I must have stayed here for a day too long. Don’t you agree Illumi?”

“Yes. It was quite stupid.” There’s a silence between the two of you. You continue sitting on the ground with your back facing him. “Are you ready to leave?” He asks as if he’s picking you up from and elementary sleep over. 

“May I finish my coffee first?” 

“I suppose.” Though he doesn’t move from his spot, his gaze staying firm on your back.

Luckily you haven’t spent all this time just running, but training. In self defense to be specific.

Quickly you jump up and turn around, you move your arm to throw the coffee on him in hopes of burning him. He grabs your wrist, but the coffee does land on his forearm. You bring your leg up to kick him in the side but he grabs it right as you make contact. The only hit you actually manage to land is when you throw a punch with your free hand at his throat. If it were anyone else they would be stunned for at least a few seconds. But this wasn’t anyone. He shows no sign of flinching. 

“Are you ready now?” He asks.

You allow your body to relax and he lets go of your limbs. “Go ahead, put a needle in me.”

He doesn’t argue with your point, pressing a needle to your chest and the last thing you hear is “Don’t fight it.”

Chrollo

The very thought that all of these people by his side had no qualms about you being kidnapped makes you sick. All of them had many chances to set you free and yet they stayed loyal to your captor, as if this were normal and okay. So many people witnessing this unhealthy obsession and not even muttering a word about it. Honestly you find it more ridiculous than you do sad. How did he have all these people under his thumb? Was he really just that powerful? 

Wherever he went, you went. One day he had what they called, ‘a mission.” You had caught a cargo train out west and jumped on, as stowaways. It’s not as if anyone checked each boxcar. All of you had fallen asleep in the small space of the boxcar. The train was at full speed, with no sign of stopping anytime soon. Cargo trains were much faster than you anticipated. Once you were sure everyone was asleep, you stood up casually as if you were just stretching. In case someone woke up. Which they did. Nobunaga peeled his eyes open and examined you. But he was too slow, you leaped out of the car before anyone could grab you. You went tumbling through a field after hitting your head very hard against the ground. It wasn’t the perfect escape but it was an escape.

After that you found a nearby farm, and while it was still night you stole a horse from a barn. You rode for many miles, until days later you found a very busy city. Somehow you managed to make a life for yourself, becoming a low grade secretary. 

Today was a slow day, your employer did not have many clients today. You checked in on your boss to see if she needed anything but she waved you away. You decided to play solitaire on the computer, a perfectly valid way to waste time. 

The phone rings and you pick it up while still keeping one hand on the mouse to play solitaire. 

“Hello this is the Seedling Lawyer’s Office. How may I help you?” You stick the phone between your ear and shoulder, playing solitaire. 

There’s a chuckle from the other side of the phone. “So it is you.”

Your blood runs cold, and the only thing that your head is telling you is ‘run’. “I’m not sure who this is, could you please state your name and purpose for calling?” Playing dumb seems like the only decision right now. 

“My darling, there’s no need for the semantics. I’m coming to pick you up right now.” Perfectly on cue, the sliding doors of the building open and you drop the phone, standing up abruptly. 

His eyes show affection and kindness, but there’s a glimmer of... rage. You look around but no one is in the waiting room and you know the cameras are fake for security. This is a cheap layer’s business after all. 

“There’s no need for the semantics Chrollo.” You try to say mockingly but it comes out more as fearful and unsure.

His smile drops and he begins walking towards your desk. “Do you understand the consequences of your actions y/n?” He scoffs kicks the heavy desk to the side as if it weighed nothing. “I missed you of course.” 

“Ah well, maybe I needed a break.” It comes out as a question. 

He corners you against the wall and places a rough hand on your cheek. “Oh darling, oh my sweet darling.” His smile reappears, as sweet as it always has been. “I’m going to kill your entire family.” His hand grips the side of your face roughly and he tilts your head back. 

“You really are something. I would never hurt you, you know.” He places a gentle kiss against your cheek despite his tight grip on the side of your head. “But that doesn’t mean there aren’t consequences for what you’ve done.” 

You swallow the lump in your throat and grab his wrist. “Well you’re hurting me right now.” 

Immediately he drops his hand and sighs. “I would never hurt you intentionally, or if not necessary.” He grabs your throat, holding it so tightly you wonder if you’ll ever be able to talk again. He’s crushing your air ways and vocal cords. You claw at his wrist but its useless. “Disciplining you does not count as hurting you.” He leans forward, and if you could yelp you would.

He bites your cheek, definitely leaving a mark. After drawing blood, he licks it up. Your vision is going dark but you’re simply not strong enough to fight back. “Do you understand darling?”

[tuney-and-looney]

My sort-of comprehensive yet very opinionated and too deep of a dive into the voice actors of Elmer.

hey ya'll. i have a long weekend, so I have more time to absorb my cringe and rate each voice actor for my man. it's an idea i had for the past few days and really pondered as to who i prefer and why. so here we gooooooo. btw, i'm going in chronological order to help with organization purposes and stuff. also, i will definitely change these numbers in the future but the notes will probably stay the same.

Danny Webb - 7.5/10

He feels fun, fresh, funky; which is funny given that he's technically the first proper voice actor from the 30's. It's not elmer's actual voice, and it's also an impression of another actor, Joe Penner. BUT. he's fun. you can definitely tell that he has a lot of fun, and that also bleeds into elmer/egghead. he definitely feels like a proper fit for the zany and wacky vibes that the early LT/MM shorts. I really recommend watching at least one short to get those zanies into you!

Arthur Q. Bryan - 8.5/10

the OG. the main man. the one that really started it all.

he's a really big pushover at first, but over time became more assertive and gave more of a reason for bugs to be around him and bother and torment (and love). i like how his voice is mainly very quiet (haha get it), but it almost feels too quiet. he never really gets a moment to get angry and bombastic. in fact, mel sometimes had to fill in for the louder moments because Arthur just couldn't do it (SMOG!)

i feel like there's both a lot of material and not that much in terms of how much material arthur was given. then again, he did die of a heart attack so suddenly, so maybe that context for me personally made me feel like we would have a lot more opportunities.

that being said, solid and wonderful and amazing and beautiful and deep and lovely and talented and pure performances all around from him.

Mel Blanc - 5/10

he is, uh. he is.

so uh, if i remember correctly, he said at first that he never wanted to take arthur's role, but then he said sike and took the role anyway. in fact, he went on the reduce arthur's influence more and more as mel was becoming a household name. i just, mel after arthur's untimely death always urks me the wrong way. like, he would try to claim elmer amongst all the other roles he's done.

Ferris Wheelhouse had a really wonderful video that talked about this issue during his "Bugs Bunny in King Arthur's Court" review. unfortunately, it seems to be gone, and if i find it again, i will definitely link it here!

other than that, the voice itself: very, very iffy. makes me feel like that old guy with the cigar at the comedy club who says that he can do great cartoon impressions but, just can't. and it sucks. cause that's mel blanc here. and i like him. makes me real sad.

Hal Smith - 6/10

so his voice is almost the same quality as mel, but at least he feels like he's not actively trying to take control and try to shove arthur aside. he's trying his best, but again, just doesn't cut to the sheer quality of arthur's voice. not really much to say but, he's there, and he tried.

Jeff Bergman - 9/10

he wasn't too bad at first. he definitely tried to capture arthur's personality and voice mannerisms. i like box office bunny and just the vibes that he gives off in that short. blooper bunny was also really nice. he just seems like a guy that would be really pleasant to be around.

then New Looney Tunes/Wabbit came out. and then the HBO Max shorts.

holy shitttttttt. i never realized how much i would love his performance. because, here's the thing: he's manic as hell. he's chaotic. he's a scumbag. he's a diva. he's a bitchy, bitchy man. and i L O V E it.

i love how these new shorts make him both sympathetic, yet when he can be a bitch, HE'S ALLOWED TO. i never realized how much i wanted it until a couple years after Wabbit aired.

the voice: it's pretty okay. not my favorite voice, but he gives something fresh enough to feel fun and fancy free.

Billy West - 9/10

oh buddy of boys and buckets of fuck, here we go.

so, i grew up with his version, ever since the start of my hyperfixation. he's always felt my favorite. he gives something that sounds the closest to what bryan did during the good ole days. he gave elmer more of a cleaner edge. west often calls him the "0 to 60" type of guy, and yeah, i definitely see that.

here's the thing, though: west is my favorite voice, not my favorite character variation.

i feel like WB constantly underutilizes west's talent to go really zany with his fudd. whenever he does, once in a blue moon, he's REALLY good. like, too good. my sanity and my appreciation: snatched and kissed with a thousand roses. we love to see a chaotic yet loving man.

the more i reflect on this notion of his version, the more i appreciate the performances that he gave. although, sometimes, he feels like he doesn't know the context of the situation, but goddammit he is trying his best. god i miss him. father please come back, i need my meals. we need meals.

Greg Burson - 7/10

....we don't talk about him. moving on.

Eric Bauza - 8.5/10

not a lot of material yet from him, but i adore anything he has done so far. his performance in space jam 2 was really solid; feels like a mix of greg and jeff's performances. i hope to see so much more from him. can't really give too much yet because i need more material from him. overall, really wholesome that one be.

so yeah, those are my 11 pm thoughts on the matter. expect somewhat new thoughts to be added in the distant future. otherwise, please send me your thoughts; i love reading them and answering them on here!

[colehasapen]

(ONE SHOT) I see ghosts in their smiles  DC

A03

Bruce never fully understood the relationship between Flash and Green Lantern. At a glance, they were so different that logically one would think that they'd fight more than they had, but that had never been the case; Barry and Hal had bickered, had argued, but rarely ever fought. Barry had been mild mannered and polite, while Hal was brash and confident, but these differences hadn’t driven them apart, in fact, it had brought them together. The two of them had been a pair on and off of missions, though many hadn't known the true extent.

Not until it was too late.

The Founders though, they’d all been well aware. They’d had a front row seat to the evolution of the relationship between the two of their more colourful members. They’d seen the two of them go from acquaintances to teammates, to friends, and then to lovers. They’d all teased them in their own ways, found them wrapped around each other in some way or another; they’d interrupted dates for missions, had stumbled across them in embarrassingly compromising situations, had even offered them their blessings, because despite everything, Barry and Hal were good for each other. Somehow, despite being the two most scattered members of the League, they managed to ground each other.

Barry and Hal had been a good pair, but Barry’s death had been the start of Hal’s downward spiral. Barry’s death had been a wake up call for them all, in the same way Jason’s death had been for Bruce; they’d all known, of course, that they were flirting with death everyday, but it hadn’t truly sunk in for a lot of them until Barry had sacrificed himself to save the world.

Now, they were both gone. Both dead; and despite all the differences Bruce had had with them - Jordan more so than Barry - he  misses them.

He misses the old Flash and Green Lantern, more than he ever thought he would. It makes the fact that there’s two new heroes in their place all the more painful.

Wally West and Kyle Rayner.

Bruce has known Wally since the boy was a lanky teen in yellow following his uncle like a cheerful, friendly shadow. He’s known the young man since he was a child, and it’s strange, seeing him in Barry’s place. It’s thrown all of them off balance, having one of the children they helped train standing among them. Wally’s the Flash now, a young man, but Bruce still looks at him and sees the child that used to come over every weekend to play with Dick.

Kyle Rayner doesn’t have that same history. For all intents and purposes, he had been a normal kid until the ring had chosen him and he’d become the last Green Lantern in the galaxy. He’s a nice enough kid, of an age with Bruce’s own boys, with a relatively clean record that paints an image of a friendly, easy-going artist with his head in the clouds. He’s good at what he does, despite learning it all on his own, and mostly competent despite how new he was at hero-ing. But Hal’s actions had proved that they had to be wary of Lanterns, proved that Bruce had gotten too complacent around his teammates, and he wouldn’t make that mistake again. Bruce keeps the new Lantern at an arm’s distance, close enough to stop if he loses it too.

Watching them together is like looking at ghosts.

"It's like watching  them all over again." Clark’s voice is nostalgic and sad, and Bruce very pointedly forces his eyes away from the two young men huddled together near the back of the cafeteria. Superman’s eyes are distant, but there's a light of understanding inside of them when he meets the other hero’s gaze.

Clark knows him too well.

Despite not answering verbally, Bruce inclines his head and grunts.

Wally and Kyle had been a couple no one had suspected, not with the way the two of them bickered. They’re both young, rash, impetuous, and it tends to lend to an image of two young cats hissing and spitting over territory; somehow, without any of them really noticing, the two youngest main roster members of the League had drifted together and meshed despite everything. The arguing had gone from genuine antagonism to something fun and easy that others often found amusing in darker situations.

Now, it wasn’t surprising to see them tucked together with some game or another, or surrounded by snacks in the common room. There had been plenty of talk between the older members of the League, those who had known about their predecessors’ relationship, about another iconic Flash-Green Lantern duo, to the point where Bruce almost decides to not put the two young men on missions together any more, just to avoid having to look at ghosts every day.

But they were good at what they do, and they work well together, despite their bickering, almost like they know instinctively what the other needs in the thick of things without needing to communicate. They tend to poke each other into going beyond their limits with well-placed quips and jokes, and they get the job done quickly and efficiently.

It really was like looking at Barry and Hal again, and maybe that wasn’t a good thing, considering Barry’s death had just been the start of Jordan’s spiral.

Clark offers him a sympathetic smile, “The kids are growing up fast.” The Kryptonian hums slightly, slanting him a slight look. “I always thought it would be Dick and Wally in the end.”

He’d thought the same too, but Dick wouldn’t appreciate his thoughts on it.

Bruce winces slightly, “Nightwing’s happy with Starfire and Oracle.” He says. He’d always thought the same, with the way his ward and Barry’s nephew had been as teens; he knew they’d tried it, had experimented together quite frequently, just like he knew they ended it on good terms as friends, because it was what worked best for them, in the end.

They’d been good together, but they’d decided they were better as friends and teammates, and Bruce would respect that choice. It was the least he could do, after everything he’d put Dick through.

Clark nods his head, right as a burst of laughter drags both of their attention back to where Kyle and Wally are sitting. At some point, Kyle had flipped his sketchbook construct to show whatever he had been drawing to the redhead, who had dissolved into cackles at whatever was on the page, snickering into his food. As they watch, the young Green Lantern grins boyishly, leaning forward to give the speedster a quick peck on the cheek before shoving a hand full of fries into Wally’s mouth and laughing himself.

Around them, the noise had drawn the attention of other heroes in the cafeteria, and Bruce doesn’t need to look to see that they’re all softening at the sight of the two young men.

“They’re their own people.” Bruce says finally, “Their own heroes.”

Clark nods, expression soft, “It’s different.” He admits, “But sometimes I still end up calling them by another name.” He shrugs, looking repentant, when Bruce frowns at him. “I called Wally, Barry the other day during monitor duty, because he said something that reminded me too much of him. I mean, it’s not surprising that he  would act like Barry - but it throws me off sometimes.” Clark looks sheepish, apologetic, “It’s strange, having Wally working with us. He’s a good kid, but-”

“-But he’s not Barry.” Bruce agrees with a sigh. “We always knew he would take over as the Flash after Barry.” Barry hadn’t exactly been quiet about it; he’d been so proud of his nephew, and would tell anyone who listened that Wally would become the Flash someday, that he’d be even better than Barry.

“I’d always hoped it would be because Barry retired.” Clark says sadly, “Have a few kids; they did such a good job with Wally. Maybe he and Iris would have managed to talk Hal into coming with them - Hal never could deny them anything, even if he tried to act tough.”

But they were all dead - Iris first, then Barry, and then Jordan.

“Kyle’s a good kid, too.” Superman continues, “Ernest, creative, even if he’s a little rough around the edges. The Lanterns would have loved him - probably would have taken him under their wings.”

Bruce grunts, and Clark slants him a knowing look. As much as he likes Rayner as a person, or how much he reminds him of Dick, he can’t trust him, not after Jordan proved to them how dangerous an uncontrolled Lantern could be.

“He’s  not Hal, Bruce.” Clark points out, “And Hal did the right thing, in the end - thanks to him.”

“Jordan proved that I was getting too complacent.” Bruce says blankly, “Every hero here is just one bad day away from becoming the very thing we fight.”

Clark sighs, leaning forward to press a kiss against Bruce’s cheek, there and gone. “My break’s over.” The Kryptonian says apologetically, smiling. “You should go home and get some sleep, Bruce. A full eight hours, at least.”

Another laugh rings out, and Bruce turns his head just enough to see that Wally had scooted his chair closer to Kyle’s, their knees bumping, and he’s moving to playfully pull the dark haired Lantern closer to press their lips together with a cheeky grin. The ketchup smeared across the artist’s cheek was proof enough of what they had been doing before.

It’s damningly charming, and sweet, but all Bruce can think when he sees them is that there’s a chance they could end up in the same situation as Barry and Hal. There’s too many ghosts in his head, too many skeletons in his closet, and two of them wear crimson and green.

[kumoriyami-xiuzhen]

Hakuoki Shinkai Hana no Shou Okita After Story Translation

This is my first post of the month, so I’ll start by asking you to please support me if you can through my ko-fi, and paypal or patreon which provides access to my hakuoki blog translations and early access to my postings. Also, please let me know if you have any hakuoki drama cds that you’d be willing to share that are on my Lookout List since i either do not have audio for those cds or do not have audio that I can share.... and if you are able to remove watermarks from a video, please contact me.  

Finally done with all of what i refer to as these after stories. this is the last translation of what i have from the 「 薄桜鬼 真改 華ノ章」 ステラワース早期予約特典 小冊子. did Souji’s last partly cuz he’s one of my least favourite routes (sorry but not sorry. also i won’t deny that my premier target audience for most of my translations for content that doesn’t come from one of the games is myself ;D), and well, i would categorize my thoughts as mostly angsty (there’s a reason why i mostly write angst lol) and didn’t exactly need more of it...

still, it’s kinda sad that it took me almost 2 years to finish translating all of what I could for these... but hey, i can’t help it if I get distracted by other stuff that i find more interesting.... ahahahaaaa....(excuse me as i go hide until next week’s translation lol).

also, in case someone doesn’t know, i’ve already translated the after stories for Saito, Hijikata, Yamazaki, Kazama, Hijikata, Harada, Heisuke and now Souji... and am unable to translate the others as I don’t have it in CN tho I can go scan the rest should someone want to translate the stories for Shinpachi, Sanan, Souma, Iba, or Sakamoto.

enjoy? maybe? lol?

Hakuoki Shinkai Hana no Shou After Story Translation - Okita Souji

Translation by KumoriYami

(TN:  just an fyi, Souji doesn't call Chizuru "Chizuru-chan" in this. checked the booklet just to be sure.)

The scene was in the mountains, they had been dyed bright red as the sun set in the West. 

And the one looking over this scene, was the sword genius, former First Division Shinsengumi Captain, Okita Souji. 

(Speaking of which, since childhood, I would always look into the direction of my hometown at dusk.)

While he thought this, the sound of frantic footsteps from further away, came closer. 

As for who the sound of these footsteps belonged to, it was obvious. She was......  [It was her]

"——Souji-san! What are you doing here?

For the present Okita, this woman was more important than his own life, Yukimura Chizuru.

From the way she gasping from having run down the mountain path, she seemed quite anxious. When she found Okita was missing, she selflessly began to search for him.

Okita showed a look of ignorance and looked back at her.

"Asking me what I'm doing...... can't you tell after after looking? I'm watching the sunset.

He answered in a tranquil tone. Immediately this young woman lost her strength and fell to her knees.

"If you're doing that, please tell me first...... Just now, I couldn't find Souji-san, so I was very worried."

It seemed that her words were true. Because there was sweat on her slim neck, and her cheeks were bright red. 

Seeing Chizuru like this, he felt full of tenderness/affection, and he couldn't but think of tightly embracing her small body.

On the other hand though, he also felt the urge to tease her so that he could see her troubled appearance. 

(Even I feel that these days are/this day is quite boring. [can't tell if this is plural or not])

"Do you dislike not seeing me?"

"Of course, that's because Souji-san is a very special/important person to me."

There was no hesitation as Chizuru replied in this way. She was also very aware of how these words made Okita feel at ease. 

"Good grief, are there really no problems? We just didn't see each other for a short amount of time."

His abrupt words made Chizuru look sad.

"……Please don't say such a thing."

Although she was well aware of what was going to happen, she didn't want think about it right now. Her innocent expression seemed to say this.

(This teasing seems to have been too much.)

As Okita thought this, he gently extended his hand.

"Come here, Chizuru."

After a short confused moment, the young woman grabbed Okita's hand. He firmly held her small hand, then pulled her small body into his embrace.

"Ah……"

She couldn't help but make a small sound and Okita hugged her. A sweet and floral fragrance emanated from her hair and neck.

He gently combed her hair, and both of their eyes coincidently found each other's. Those sincere eyes were staring straight into Okita's,

(How good would it be if we were always able to look at each other like this.)

This felt just like a dream. Before he he was in a relationship with her, the memories he had of when he lived alone....... were quite vague. 

"Hey, Chizuru. Let me say one thing first."

Hearing Okita's words, she blinked at him in disbelief. Looking at her adorable expression, he opened his mouth.

"Even though I'll pass away one day, you can't/aren't allowed to follow me. Even if you're alone, you need to keep on living."

"…………"

Chizuru bit her lips.

Similarly to how Okita was unable to remember what happened when he lived by himself, she wasn't able able to imagine what would happen to her after losing Okita.

(If I was more considerate, I might say "after I die, live happily with someone else"......)

But it was impossible for him to give Chizuru to someone else. Even if he knew if doing that might make her happy. 

Chizuru seemed to have understood what he really thought. "So what's your answer? Chizuru."

In the face of Okita's question, she sadly lowered her head——

"…………I know."

She responded with a depressed voice.

"Very good."

He muttered softly, then gently stroked Chizuru's cheeks.

There large eyes before him were now slightly moist. This expression indicated that she had a clear understanding of what was going to happen later.

For a good while, she quietly kept her eyes closed. 

Okita put his lips against her slightly opened lips, and felt the slight warmth as they touched. Their was a dream-like kiss, almost as if it were a whisper that could not be heard unless it were attentively listened to.

Although he had kissed these lips multiple times, to the point where he couldn't remember, he also didn't know how many times he would be able to kiss these lips in days to come.

The lips that joined with his seemed to be shaking/trembling with grief. He was immediately able to tell that she was crying. 

"……Don't cry. Because you're a strong child."

As he wiped the tears from the corner of the young woman's eyes, he gently reprimanded her.

But in fact, his heart felt happy because Chizuru shed tears for him.

(I didn't expect that in my lifetime/life, that I would actually meet a woman who would cry for me.)

Thinking back, this was an ill-fated relationship. Okita thought so. 

(My life will not last for a long time.…… but it wasn't completely bad, because in the end, I was able to meet you like this. Maybe the purpose of my life was to meet you.)

Without even realizing it, the sun already set, and the nearby scenery was gradually coloured like the water. The two of them then set off on their way home alongside one other. 

-end-

[syubub]

2021 Reading for BTS and the collective!!

Wow wow wow! I didn't disappear or get dragged away by a demon. No no, I just got thrust into unexpected shadow work and I now have an unhealthy obsession with sea shanties and a love of pasta.

I had this idea planned to be early in January but that didn't pan out so I'm doing it now. I have another yoongi reading in the works and another fun thing coming soon as well!!

I promise I won't bore you to death any longer but I hope you've all been doing well!!

Disclaimer: This is for entertainment purposes only and not to be taken as fact.

If this message doesn't apply, let it fly!

Cool cool cool.

Let's get it.

💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

Oki. I first want to say that this I gonna be long lol. I did a meditation and gathered some little pieces of things y'all might need to hear and then I pulled cards for every month. The fountain tarot deck is the cards for us, the collective, and the rider-waite cards are for bts. It'll make more sense when I add picks and stuff. I did a little extra card pull for yoongi for the month of May too :) I'll make sure to type out all the cards in text so you know what they are (the pics are kinda wack.) I also used my pendulum to ask if there was a bts related event for every month and that's at the bottom. It's just to take in the possible energy for the month and something that could result from that energy!

LETTUCE BEGIN (hehe)

Starting with the section for the channeled messages. I want to reiterate that this was collective so if it doesn't resonate with you, the message might not be for you! Use your intuition.

(Enough talking. Damn)

So. As I said this was through meditation and connecting to the big column tree thing (I told my cousin about the tree/pillar and they were like,, "so basically a big energy dildo in the æther?" .... I CAN'T STOP THINKING ABOUT IT. h e l p m e) and asking if there was any messages or advice that needed to be delivered and it was... intresting?

Things came fragmented. So there was little messages like, "Its gonna be okay" and "things are changing for everyone" and "open your eyes if you want to see" (that's sassy.) There was one particular thing that was confusing me though. Straight up it was just "flower" on repeat and like a really bad picture of a flower? Like you could tell what it was but it was bad quality. Anyway, I was like "okay. Kindly shut the fuck up. Pls." And I wrote down flower, pink flower and rose. Sooo.... idk but there you go.

More messages were things like, "the block isn't in your head", "try calling forth that which you seek" and... February. Possibly there is specific (very very very loose) connection to the 10th-19th? I'm not to sure what or why but I'd say maybe look out for opportunities on these days and also maybe external events.

Continuing with dates. In the last this 21 and January 21 came up. It came up again but with 2 messages. So first, either 21st is a day where something is put into motion (possibly private or public) or announced and the second was "add them together dumbass" that's not very kind but 3. Again this has been discussed too but but but... maybe a signal of a third mixtape 👀 (not necessarily on the 21st per say but possibly in March? I'm really not sure).

Oki. I got side tracked like I always do and started thinking about tattoos and stuff and I really want koo to have a peony tattoo. I feel it in my BONES. It would suit him so well. and as I was thinking about tattoos I heard, "don't be surprised if yoongi gets/shows a tattoo this year" ??? What the fuck? I think maybe they messing with me but now I have hopes and I don't want them to be crushed and thrown to the wind :(

Back to normal stuff, "the theme is growth" I think that fits very well with the reading. "Blue might be a lucky color" self explanatory. It might be lucky. "Start practicing grounding and centering" this was LOUD. This will help you in how you react to events in the future. Really do practice this if you haven't.

This is where it gets a little weird. So, I got a message that said "start living as if you never existed." I am not a 100% sure what this means but I think I have a pretty good guess. I hate to make it sound weird like this but by sort of focusing on something that is so hard to comprehend (because our brains can't comprehend not existing very well) you kinda break the 4th wall? Like in Deadpool when he addresses the audience and is aware that he is a character played by Ryan Reynolds? anyway, focusing on something that seemingly impossible you kind of accidentally open up the floodgates for a lot of other things. I would say if you are not in the right headspace to do this don't do it but it can be a powerful way to break up the monotony of reality. The theory that everything happens simultaneously bc time isn't a linear progression events blah blah we are energy blah blah the multiverse blah blah.. Theres so so so so so so so so so much about this and how it applies to things that I could probably write you 10+ dictionaries worth of material but for the sake of simplicity and not wanting to write a novel right now, I will continue. The main lesson is to start challenging your perception of the world around you. Ask why and why and why and why. Essentially seeing cracks in the matrix. Pulling your head out of your cosmic ass, realizing that rose you're smelling is actually daffodil ect. It's not supposed to bring you fear but just kinda encouraging you to question all the things that you perceive as given truths.

I tried to make that sound cohesive but really it's such a big concept that I can't really wrap it up all nice and neat.

Oki. May and March are also important times.

Listen to your intuition and try not to take everything so seriously. I'm not saying to check out and go squat in the Himalayas but it's important to find joy in the now. Life is already tough enough so don't forget to watch a silly show that you like or change your hair to a style you've never tried, wear makeup in a very loud way. Just have fun and don't worry so much about things that you can't control. Listen to yourself and your intuition.

Well that was all over the place. Let's get on to the actual tarot part now.

For the record, the pictures are right to left.

January for the collective

We have the empress, the sun, 7 of swords and a fortune that says "act well your part; there the honor lies"

Hmm. Ngl I was a little confused to see the empress and the sun for January... I mean it hasn't been great. So I pulled clarity card 7 of swords. The 7 of swords is all about betrayal. It's about the deception and and actively getting away with things. This is people lying, cheating, sneaking and the works.

This makes much more sense!! The Sun card is usually about joy and success and happiness but in this case I see it as illuminating the betrayal. It's shining light on the deception and keeps the spotlight there. Its also an energetic card so I think that shows passion for uncovering the truth.

With the empress card too I think January is all about getting creative in all forms. Creative ways to protest, to mourn, to celebrate, to connect. Also taking in the abundance that we DO have. The beauty that surrounds us. I like to think of aphrodite energy for this. Its not just love and passion and creativity but is also asserting yourself and having strong passion for what you love and fighting for it. Did you know aphrodite was also called upon in ancient Greece in times of war? She was honored as a goddess of war but still a goddess of love, the sea, fertility ect. What I'm trying to say is that being a creative and "feminine" energy is in no way weak. Sometimes the most powerful things come from this energy. Love aggressively with good intentions. The point is that you should take whatever you're feeling and translate it into something creative or something you care about. The fact that covid is still a thing really sucks but take any rage, hurt, sadness, joy, love whatever and use that shit to make something amazing. Bake bread and punch the fuck out of it, paint your frustration, play hopscotch in higheels while you listen to heavy metal. You get the point.

Now January for BTS!!

We have the death card. (I only pulled one card bc I have things planned from this)

January has been... strange? To say the least.

This card can be a lot of things for them. I think this points to more maturity in their music? Like they've finally ditched the "shiny kpop boy band" label and are being taken seriously in the west. I also think that they're going through a musical/concept transformation~ I think it also signified the change in plans bc of the Grammys perhaps they had things planned an that fell through so they were forced to rapidly change plan/course.

For January: possible mixtape or announcement.

February for the collective

We have 8 of coins reverse and hanged man reverse.

The 8 of pentacles reverse talks a lot about self improvement. Doing that good good inner work and self care. Working on developing parts of you that you've maybe neglected. It's also learning how to work with how you are instead of wishing you weren't the way you are. If you have a therapist its a great time to maybe ask for any extra tips that you can practice daily to help you even more. Maybe exploring more into insecurities relating to finance or jobs or your passions. If you don't have a therapist but you have the means to get one I always highly recommend. You don't have to have "problems" to see a therapist. Everyone could use a non biased point of view that is literally trained to help you be you best self. If you can't get therapy, I get it. Shits tough rn but there's still things we can do to better ourselves like Journaling and reading therapy blogs or self help books (not the taky shit) or trying a hobby you fell out of touch with. There's also a lot of places where you can get therapy promise on the internet. Most importantly, better yourself in the way that you need. Take time in February to take notice of what you want to improve upon. The 8 of coins reversed does come with the warning not to get stuck in perfectionism. Go easy on yourself and if you find yourself getting frustrated when working on projects, try to take a step back and practice whatever it is in a fun way and then come back to it later

Hanged man reverse talks about knowing that you need to chill but you don't. You'll need too. Maybe you'll find yourself swept up in work and tasks and you're over whelmed and know you need to stop and catch your breath but you resist. Why? Well, perhaps you're trying to ignore reality by filling the empty spaces with things and stuff so you don't have to face what's bothering you. Not wise. Take time for yourself. There's also the flips side where people are just kinda stuck.. creative block. Maybe you want something to turn out one way and it just isn't, so your stuck and frustrated and can't move past it. Let go of your expectation of how it should be and let it be what it is. Go with the flow and maybe you'll see a new way to overcome your problem. You'll eventually get that break through that you need! The theme of February is about self improvement. Listen to yourself.

February for BTS

We have judgment.

Hehe yeah. This card is about rebirth and the inner calling. Letting go of the old to step into the new version of you. This is also a very spiritual card lol. This can talk about a new decision that you have to trust your gut on. This is a very significant card that screams comeback to me. It also can talk about sharing your struggles with a group of people and that to me sounds comeback ish. Maybe this will be an announcement in February, maybe they'll be working on it idk but this is ultimate comeback energy so I hope they utilize this for a big group project!!

February: possible BTS comeback (even my pendulum knows)

March for the collective

The chariot and justice

This plays directly off of February! With the chariot you're taking the self improvement that you've done and putting it to action! Now is the time to act on the dreams and passions that you have don't wait and hope for the best. March is about action and standing in your power.

Justice card is cause and effect and truth. What you do will have consequences good or bad. Not doing anything also has consequences. Cease the moment and make the best of it. You'll be taking responsibility for what you do. You start a business? Now you have the responsibility of running it and you get the credit. Stuff like that. Stand by your decisions with conviction and trust yourself.

There's also the side of justice that talks about bringing justice. If you've been wronged, you'll be brought justice if you stand up for yourself.

We also carry the continuous lesson of learning what we truly believe and challenge those beliefs!

March for BTS

Oki we have the hermit and the 6 of pentacles reverse.

Well... let's start with the 6 of pentacles reverse. This can really talk about being so generous and giving to everyone else that you forget about yourself. I think that maybe they might be over exerting themselves and giving so much that they're exhausted physically and emotionally as well. I think too, they take on so much of our pain like its their own? Idk but this would be a good time to do a large scale fan project to show them a little extra love!

With the hermit card it talks about a self introspection so they could be looking inward as a team and kinda evaluating their bond.

I also see this as maybe being alone as in they maybe can't physically go to the grammys? Or maybe they had been planning the rescheduled concerts and they had to be pushed back even further? Things like that. Regardless this signals re thinking/reevaluating the goals that they have and considering what direction to go in!

March: possible mixtape or solo project?

April for the collective

We have 6 of coins and 3 of cups reverse.

Let's start with the 6 of coins. It's about sharing. It can be about charity so sharing money via donation but also giving time, effort, energy to people as well. Giving knowledge is good too! It's an all round exchange. Maybe someone lends you money or you lend money to someone. It's give and take. It's a two way street. It's also a card of balanced finance. So money stuff should be looking promising around this time (for you U.S people this could point to more stimulus help as well)

And for the 3 of cups reversed... I see this as reopening of places and people struggling to find the balance. So think people who've been in lockdown celebrating by throwing a big party... yikes. This card reminds that we should be mindful of the long-term consequences that come with our actions.. maybe also people that are experiencing fear of being in public places now. This is only one facet though. Bc I think this also means in general, missing being with friends and having a renewed relationship because you've really realized how important it is to have these people that mean so much to you in your life. Don't forget that you have people that love you and want the best for you. Call them when you feel alone.

April for BTS

The heirophant

Mhmm. This one kinda gives me vibes that they'll be mentoring people? Idk but I see them more as the heirophant teaching what they've learned/ know to help guide others. HOWEVER this could also be them taking a new task under their belt. Learning something new. Since this is as a group reading I assume that this talks about the group as a whole. This card is also very tradition oriented so maybe they are taking lessons that are connected to traditional Korean culture? Maybe its for RUN or maybe its to incorporate into music and preformance. Think bts mma preformance but all of them learning together? Idk, it's just a thought (maybe wishful thinking). It also talks about seeking counseling so maybe they'll do yoongis idea from the most recent RUN.

This can also be them embracing this kind of leadership/ status.

April: I got nothing. It does feel like something though

May for the collective

Five of cups and queen of cups reversed

Five of cups is disappointment, regret and self pity. Now honestly this to me looks like possibly a tightening of restrictions yet again. Regardless of the situation that this is talking about, the best thing you can do is not wallow in the bullshit. You scrape yourself off the pavement and move foward. You'll need forgiveness of yourself and others and that if shit isn't going your way, you need to pull your head out of your ass and look around bc there's options out there. It's like drowning in a kiddie pool. Just stand up, dude. The water is like 5 inches.

Queen of cups reversed talks about self love and self care. It's more of that look inwards energy. Think about really taking care of yourself. May might be emotionally draining so you need to be ready to take care of you! Part of self care is making sure that your boundaries are well enforced.

Be on the look out for codependent behaviors. Check in with yourself.

The queen of cups is very intuitive and having it in reverse can talk about you not taking enough time to listen to it. Make an effort to meditate for like 5 minutes a day at least. Do something to let yourself connect to your intuition and higher self.

May for BTS

9 of pentacles

This about enjoying the fruits of your labor and absolute abundance and luxury. This could talk about them rolling in the dough after signing a new partnership or having a concert or something if the sort. This could also be a time where we see them buying new things like houses, cars and rings (lol) but also this could be them doing a very high production value project! Also namjoon and his bonsai army are thriving in this time!

May: possible concert or scheduled concert event. Activity of some kind.

Yoongi interlude

I asked for one card to give me an idea of what the mystical May 13th really is. I got: the star, 2 of cups, 4 of wands, the world and the sun.

Guys. I can't with this. 2 of cups is a card of union, romance, soulmate. 4 of wands is celebration, joy, homecoming, bliss. The world is completion and the sun is happiness, joy, marriage, enlightenment.

I've said it a billion times but that's some soulmate shit. So soft so cute and May will be eventful for his personal life.

June for the collective

Death and the heirophant reversed.

Wow wow wow death is transformation and a new chapter so a new way of life and something new/ different that changes how we see things. Again this could be relating to new covid things and new policies and stuff like that but also new as in new to all of us. Groundbreaking perhaps?

The heirophant reversed talks about teaching yourself. Being your own teacher and making your own path. This might be spiritual or otherwise. Challange what the world wants from you and instead listen to what you truly want bc you don't need anyone's approval. Continue to ask questions about why things are the way that they are.

June for BTS

Page of pentacles

Oki oki page of pentacles means a new creative venture and manifestation. Maybe something that they've been wanting for a while finally comes to fruition. This might be the start of a new project that they haven't done before or something cross genre? Idk but its a really good sign of being motivated for a new endeavor and manifesting any projects that they've ever wanted to do. Love this promising energy!!

June: idk

July for the collective

10 of swords and 9 of cups reversed.

10 of swords signals a painful ending. Also deceit. Its a necessary end to a long battle. The only thing you can do is control how you react in these situations. You just kinda gotta surrender into the pain and know that it's temporary. Take time to reflect on what happened and why and how it will help you grow.

The 9 of cups reversed talks about valuing stuff and material things over emotions and spiritual things. This can be talking about society in general, that we are becoming more aware to the fact that there is often more value placed on ephemeral items rather than humanity as a whole. This also can be talking about coming to the realization that we've been working so hard towards... something we don't really care about simply because we were told that it's what you do.

If you want something different to happen you have to put in effort. You can't be sitting in front of a water fountain being like, "damn. I'm thirsty. I really really want water so why isn't it in my mouth yet?" Like?? Hello? You have to take the first step, my dude.

Certainly don't try to do anything that would cost you finatial security or health.

You have the potential to find happiness within yourself. So try looking inside instead of looking outward.

July for BTS

4 of swords.

This is about rest and relaxation!

Taking time to meditate and take some time to look at what you've done objectively. Ots like the hermit in a way but much more focused on resting and relaxing so you can come back stronger and with better direction. Maybe they'll take a break for a couple days but I really see it as them reassessing options. Especially if July goes how I think it will. Maybe they'll film something like In The Soop again? Maybe we'll see bon voyage type thing? Idk. But it could be something kinda out of the spotlight? Maybe something more healing?

July: maybe something?? I'm not sure but it seems like something might be in store.

August for the collective

5 of coins and the wheel of fortune

Well let's see. 5 of pentacles talks about isolation and a negative mindset. This talks about falling on hard times but its a temporary set back. This energy can be talking about falling on hard times emotionally as well. In the card it shows a woman outside of a church shivering and cold but she's too busy thinking about all that she's lost that she doesn't notice the warm church that she could step into for shelter.

But then with he wheel of fortune that talks about fate/destiny, opportunity and luck so maybe this is a necessary loss so that a new door can open. This does kinda tie in with July as well. The end of something is painful but it's often a necessary thing. Might be a bit uncomfy but that's how things change. Again I see this maybe hinting more towards society but none the less it's definitely a theme for August to have doors closing and new ones opening so be on the lookout for that.

August for BTS

The devil.

Now don't fret. The devil talks a lot about choice. Most notably the choice between instant gratification and and something more substantial and the devil leans towards indulgence. It also has a lot to do with the shadow side. This could talk about ~scandal~ sure, but I think its more of a time where you become aware of negative patterns and you shine a light on that part you've ignored. On a much lighter note this card talks also about an incredible bond between people. It can be unhealthy if not given space or boundaries. Listen to pied piper and come back to me.

I also REALLY REALLY REALLY hope that this card points to this: sexuality. The boys have always been pretty pg when it comes to the topic of sex and embracing sexuality so I really do hope to see something more daring and grown up and exploring a tastefully sexy concept. On the same vain as sexuality this card also talks about kinks and stuff like that so don't be surprised if we get more outfits like fake love Era bondage harnesses.

August: ???

September for the collective

We have the world and 10 of wands reversed.

The 10 of wands reversed talks about carrying burden. Doing extra work and taking on more responsibility. Doing everything by yourself and carrying this heavy load alone will get you burnt out quicker than anything. You might be taking on too much and you'll need to prioritize what you really need to focus on. I also think there will just be a lot happening in September for a lot of people. It's a lot of working hard because you know it's good work or because it's what's right. This could be social responsibility that's placed on you or work responsibility. For whatever reason this burden isn't something you want to share with others because you think its yours alone to deal with. It's not though bc you'll figure out eventually that if it hurts so much you'll find a way to lessen the burden. 10 in tarot is all about the completion of a cycle and going through the wands cycle is hard work because for anything to be made of passion, you need to put the work behind it. The burden isn't forever, the heavy work load will lighten but this is you seeing things out. It's a good thing!

Especially considering this is paired with with world. The world is all about completion and that's what you're doing here is finding completion. You are seeing things out until the end but you just need to learn to give up some responsibility, lessen your burden.

This also talks about hard work being put into wider social spheres as well. Things like the vaccines becoming more widespread through the whole globe or at least better planing and infrastructures not related to covid. Things are looking up!

September for BTS

Knight of swords reverse

This bad boi is restless energy. It's being so pent up that you're ready to burst and you really want to take action but you can't because something is keeping you from taking that action. Again I do think this is kinda covid related in regards to touring bc if they do tour in 2021 its gonna look a lot different. This energy can be a bit impulsive and directionless so I think maybe they'll channel this into album material something? I'm not really sure tbh. I'm suprised this energy didn't show up earlier because it almost seems inevitable.

September: no clue

October for the collective

Ten of coins and the star reverse.

Welp let's start with the 10 of coins. Its about wealth, financial security, and long term success so this is a pretty prosperous time. This talks about the obvious monetary wealth and material wealth but also an abundance of opportunities. So this is definitely a good time to enjoy whatever consistency you have. This energy is really really abundant in the career space as well. So October could be very prosperous in the job field and you'll have likely found what it is you really want and could be successful at. This could be the actual act or just the idea. This is could also talk about investing in something for your future, this could be time or money.

With the star reversed it can talk about a loss of faith and a disconnection. This often points to feeling like you've just been forgotten or left out. Like the universe doesn't give a shit about you and left you out to die. Things might seem unfair but always try to look for the lesson that you can take from the experience. Seeing the 10 of coins and the star makes me think that a lot of people have kinda lost faith in their manifestations and also just in the concept of not living in a state of need. Especially if you see other people doing well and you've been trying so fucking hard but you haven't gotten a break. I know we hate to hear it but this can serve as a test of faith. Or rather an opportunity to get your shit in line and take a second to breath. Do something good for yourself and then continue on. This star in reverse serves to show you what no longer sparks joy and helps you find what does and what that initial spark was in the first place. Helps you get back to the original vision/ spark.

October for BTS

5 of pentacles reverse.

This signals the end of difficult times and getting that groove back. The last month was restless energy with no where to go but this month that energy is certainly put to good use. They might be figuring out what has been missing In their lives and starting to rectify that. They are definitely reminded that material wealth doesn't bring spiritual or emotional wealth. Might be also feeling a bit alienated too.

October: something is likely but idk

November for collective

Six of swords reversed and the moon.

Transition and change is prevalent. The 6 of swords is about leaving behind the familiar. Maune this is leaving a job, a new change in the status quo, leaving a relationship ect. The thing you have to keep in mind is just how amazing this is in terms of what it will do. It will alow growth!! And bring clarity!! Thos can also be societal as well, something being left behind in favor of something new. It's letting go and reflecting so that you can move foward.

This is strengthened by the moon card. The moon card is the subconscious and all the things that come with it. The anxiety, the illusion, the uncertainty. You'll want to deal with whatever emotions come up. The moon can signify a confusing time where things aren't what they seem to be. That's the illusions so you'll have rely more on intuition at a time like this. Your dreams might hold significance in this time as well. Listen to your guides and your own guidance because it will help you understand more than you did before this journey began. Using moon cycles to your advantage in November might really help you!!

November for BTS

7 of wands

Challenge and competition. People are envious of bts. We know this. But people will be challenging them for what they've gained: music industry domination. This might co.e in the way that people will spread vicious rumors in attempt to disenfanchise or possibly it will be a fair fight. It could also be a challenge/ battle for some other aspect that involves legal matters.

My best guess though is good old competition. Bts has proven again and again that they will continue to do what they do how they do but they will not be trampled over. In the best way this could renew some of that spirit in friendly competition. They will tear eachothers throats out for a pack of ramen so maybe a bit of competition will be good for them. It keeps life intresting.

November: nothin

December for the collective

Two of cups and the emperor!

Let's start off with the emperor card talks about stability and order. It can also signify being the "breadwinner" so its a good sign that you'll kinda be on top of your shit. The emperor is also an amazing leader so you might find yourself taking on a leadership role too! This is very organized energy that works very smoothly!

two of cups is such a lovely way to end out the year! It's love and partnership and attraction so if you aren't in a relationship by this time you might meet someone who strikes your fancy!! On a none romantic relationship note though, this card is also great for business partnership bc it signifies that you're on the same page and have the same goals in mind!

It's harmonious relationships and trust between them!! Love love love this energy so much! Cups are the suit of emotions and this card is so promising.

If you are in a relationship, this can talk about "falling in love all over again" like you're just reminded of how good they are.

December for BTS

Queen of cups

Intuition, creativity and emotional stability. They're using intuition to guide their moves foward with emotional maturity. They are in a place of knowing what they want and why. This would be a good time to work on an album or a book or to release them. The queen of cups is like the friend that you can tell absolutely anything and somehow they have a helpful answer. This card is really calm and it can also talk about subconscious thoughts.

I think that bts is maybe making more of a conscious effort to make sure that what they do is just as emotionally fulfilling for them as it is for us! They might be kinda pondering the future at this time and considering if this is what fills their emotional cup!

December: possibly a thing?

Now these cards are the vibe of the year and some advice.

For the collective (on the left)

Three of swords and judgment reverse.

The fortune says "accept the challenges, so that you may feel the exhilaration of victory"

The 3 of swords is about disappointment and hurt and heartbreak. It's about the emotional release that we all need when shit gets tough. Don't pretend to be strong. If you need to cry, fucking cry. This year is about letting go of expectations and do what you have to do to release so you can move foward and not have these things pile up.

You have to make an effort to not let yourself take on what other people think of you. You aren't defined by what some asshole says. You define yourself.

Judgment reverse is about self doubt and ignoring your path. It's being stagnant and being harsh on yourself. This year has a focus on building yourself up and noticing when you are not. Bring light to the things that are holding you back without harsh judgment for yourself. You can't beat yourself up. If you make a bad decision you know not to make it again. Take accountability and move on.

The oracle card is inner temple.

Seriously all the focus of this year is in self improvement and dear god, please take time to work on yourself spiritually!!! Everything you want to know is there if you take the time to listen. This should be a place where you feel safe and welcome. It definitely should not feel like something you HAVE to do.

For BTS

10 of swords and page of swords

The fortune says "you create your own stage. The audience is waiting" (how tje fuck?? This is the perfect fortune)

The 10 of swords is a painful but necessary end. This is accepting the current situation. They maintain focus for 2021 for them is adapting and keeping their spirits up.

With the page of swords it talks about new ideas and that kind of creativity. It's also a lot about communication so I really think that they'll be figuring out new ways to connect and new projects that will be prosperous.

The oracle card is Pleiades

This is what we talk about all the time. Bts has helped so many people want to be better and do better. They are uplifting humanity and giving people a sense if belonging. Bts finds you when you need them most 💜💜💜

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Wow I had to write this up over 2 days bc this was so fucking long. I need a nap. Idk if I'll proof read this before I post it so don't hate me for the mistakes (honestly, there's like 10,000 spelling and grammar mistakes in my other posts too 🙃)

I hope you guys enjoyed it and maybe this will be helpful to to have a forecast of some possible energy for you to look out for!!

Also bts bc I love them. I have another bts 2021 reading I'll do soon too!

Hope you guys are happy and well 💜

[mageofseven]

The Brothers’ Reaction to MC smuggling in a pet from the Human World

Depressed MC asking the brothers to let her back into the human world to “grab something important” but won’t say what it is. Once back from the human world, they reveal that the item of importance is actually her pet. Let the battle to keep it commence!

Lucifer:

Being the observant guy he is, Luce notices MC’s change in mood rather quickly

Thinking maybe you were just having an off day, he didn’t say anything about it

But then the end of the week came and you still seemed out of it, lacking your usual enthusiasm 

When finally approached about it, you wouldn’t meet his eyes

“There’s...something I need to get from home. Back in the human world...”

A moment of silent passes.

“Would you care to elaborate on what that may be?”

Avoided answering like the plague. Instead, a day of constant begging ensues.

This man is usually pretty resistant to such a thing, thanks to his brothers (especially Mammon).

Still, your their low mood mixed with his mild curiosity led him to give in.

Next day, he agreed to let you go, under the condition that you show him whatever items you took as soon as you’re back.

He never expected that the “something important” was going to be a small, chubby dog. 

Cue the frustration

“MC, you are well aware that no animals are allowed in the dorm--”

“BUT YOU HAVE CERBERUS!”

“Cerberus doesn’t live in the dorm with us and actually serves a purpose--”

Angry Dog Mom™️ activated

For once, Lucifer is the one on the receiving end of the lecture as you list all of your dog’s important qualities and why you need your furbaby with you.

Man is stressed out just wants to be down with the conversation; time to choose his battles. Spoiler: he doesn’t choose this one.

Negotiation ensues. Outcome? Two weeks. MC gets a trial run for two weeks. If they can take care of the dog by themselves for two weeks without any major issues caused by the dog while also taking up the grocery shopping for the next month, the dog can stay.

This man does not have high hopes for the dog, but will humor MC for the time being.

Mammon:

Of course he’d know when his human was feeling down. Who do you think he is?

In truth, it took him about a day and half to realize that they were feeling sad and not just too busy to hang out.

To his credit, he didn’t wait around for MC to perk up on their own.

“Yo, what’s the big idea? If you’re sad, just say so!”

Don’t bother denying it; the poor boy is already worried.

“Mammon... I kinda need a favor...”

Boy wouldn’t admit it, but he was eager to do what ever he could to cheer you up

Until you say you need to get to the human world to grab something

He already knows he’ll be hanging from the ceiling when Lucifer finds out, but this boy just can’t say no to you.

Makes a few deals with some witches and has you out there the next day

Is confused as hell when you bring back a cage

“What even is that thing??”

“It’s my chinchilla, Kiwi.”

This boy is dead when Lucifer finds out, by hey, at least the little rodent is kinda cute?

Leviathan:

This boy was too absorbed in the anime to really notice anything wrong with you at first.

He was a big fan of the manga series the anime was based off so when he heard they made the anime for, Levi needed you to watch it with him.

When he had paused it to rant about an inconsistency between the manga and the anime however, he noticed you were spaced out

Poor boy is instantly insecure.

“Of course you’d ignore a waste-of-space otaku like me...”

“No, no! I’m sorry! It’s just...”

It takes a moment to explain why you zoned out.

“Levi...can you please help me get home? Just long enough to get what I need!”

Boy is lowkey worried that you actually plan to leave and not come back. After spending time reassuring him that you really do just mean a quick trip to grab something important from your home, he’s a little more comfortable with helping.

Luckily, your goals seem to align with his.

He recently found out that his favorite mangaka  is doing a book signing in the human world, but Lucifer had already refused his request because he didn’t trust Levi to go alone.

So guess whose making this trip a reality? You!

The two of you go to Lucifer right away to beg him to let you to go to the human world just for a day.

Though still a bit iffy about his decision, he did eventually agree since he knew if Levi were to fall out of line for some reason and do something he shouldn’t, MC could use the power of their pact to bring his actions to a halt.

Mission one success!

Two days later, the two of you are on the way to the human world.

You had to spend the first couple hours of it in line at the manga shop so Levi could get his book signed.

Not as boring as you may think. You got to talk to Levi for a while and it was really cute seeing him all excited.

Once the boy got his book signed though, he was too absorbed in the fact that his favorite manga artist wrote on his book cover that he forget his end of the deal. This dude was totally ready to head home till you reminded him about why you’re here.

Right, onward to MC’s house.

Awkward boy is awkward. He waited outside as you rushed into your house so he didn’t have to deal with uncomfortable conversation with your family.

You eventually come out with a backpack full of who-knows-what and a fish bowl with a tiny, almost translucent fish.

“Okay, I got her! Let’s go home!”

“Wait, you have a fish too??”

You two would get in trouble if Lucifer found out you made an unapproved stop at home, so you decided to pretend that the fish is Levi’s for now.

He’s actually glad to know you both have another thing in common.

Satan:

It was just a normal Sunday afternoon. You were relaxing with Satan as you both read your individual books.

However, he looked up from his book to find your eyes staring out the window instead of on your book.

Satan knew since he saw you at breakfast earlier that morning that you were upset about something, but decided to wait and see if you’d to come to him first.

So far, that hasn’t happened yet. He sighed and lowered his book.

“Okay. So what is the problem?”

Denying it just receives an eyebrow raise from the blonde. Try again.

“Look...there something from home that I miss. Like, a lot.”

Even after asking a series of question about this ‘something’, all he got in return was a sad shrug.

“Do you think...is there any way I could go home and get it?”

Satan questions if the item is truly that important, but of course you say yes.

Only Diavolo and Lucifer can activate the teleport magic in the student council room because of a series of issues that took play like 50 years (three of them were Mammon’s while one was Levi’s) so now all of the brothers are locked out without explicit permission. Satan was never particularly interested in going to the human world before, but once Lucifer decided he wasn’t allowed to anymore, Satan started searching for a way to do so.

And he succeeded. Lucky you.

It took three days for the perfect opening. Lucifer had to handle some legal matters with Diavolo further to the west of the Devildom. He let everyone know at breakfast that he wouldn’t be back till later that evening.

The two got to MC’s house without any problems (well, except for Beel, but a promise to get him something from Madam Screams when they got back helped him to ‘forget’ the comment MC made about their trip before they left)

Your family was out when you got there so the two of you entered the house without distraction.

As soon as you entered, you started searching under the couches, behind the TV, in your room under your bed, various different spots.

Satan raised an eyebrow at your actions, curious about what you were searching for, but didn’t ask. After all, you already decided not to tell him earlier. He just had to be patient and see for himself.

While you did that, Satan wandered into the kitchen to see more of the house. That’s when he spied an orange ball of fluff on top of the fridge.

He smiled at the cat as it jumped down to counter to meet with him. Reaching out to pet the orange tabby, it purred against his hand.

“CHEESE!”

MC raced into the kitchen to embrace the cat.

“Cheese?”

“Yeah, her name’s Cheese.”

So this was what you were looking for. Hmm. That explains the secrecy, he supposed.

Not sure how you both are gonna hide the cat from Lucifer back at House of Lamentation, but hey, Satan’s all for cats.

Asmodeus: 

Asmo was actually pretty observant when it came to your mood change.

He didn’t really ask about it though. Instead, he launched into just comforting and cheering up.

As soon as he saw the mood shift, it was officially a spa day; he had you take a nice relaxing bubble bath, lit scented candles, and even gave you a makeover. Picked out an outfit that he had been practically dying to see you in and did your hair and make up too. 

Honestly, you did feel a lot better. All the attention Asmo was giving you really did help you cheer up and you even felt extra beautiful by the end of the night.

It was while he was doing your nails and you both were talking about anything and everything when you finally confessed to why you were so sad today.

“It just hurts, ya know? I know I really didn’t have a chance to bring it with me, but still...”

Before you even a chance to say what ‘it’ is, this boy already saying you should just go get it. As if it’s that easy.

Or is it?

The next day, he talks Lucifer into letting you both go grab a few things from your home in the human world.

Honestly, things should not have worked out as well as they did, but no complaints here.

When you get there, this boy is exploring every little corner of your house and isn’t even being subtle about.

Oh well, you start packing up different items from your room as he judges the brand of shampoo and skincare products in your bathroom.

Wasn’t as surprised you might think to find a ball python snake in your tub.

Boy has obviously dealt with bigger snakes in the past.

Decides to the charm the little boop noodle and comes into your bedroom with the snake on his shoulders.

“MC, look at this! Isn't this the cutest little thing I could find?”

“Oh nice! You found Lyla!” You smile. “She always finds away out of her tank, but I was worried about how far she made it.”

Asmo wasn’t particularly interested in helping you carrying the tank back so you had to call Beel to come help you.

You two are basically in trouble the moment you walk in to the door and Lucifer sees the snake.

You have to do the dishes for the next two weeks and Asmo has to pick up more days to cook dinner, but you somehow manage to keep the snake here with you.

Beelzebub:

Another brother who notices your sad mood fairly quickly

But he doesn’t really know what to do about or what to say

So he basically just tries to spend more time with you when he can so you aren’t stuck being sad and alone.

Starts walking you to class and doing homework with you more. He even skips his workouts some days so he can take you out some where and keep you away from your room.

He takes you out to eat a lot over the next week and you have to admit, it really does cheer you up when you see him happily munching on his favorite meal.

Beel’s presence is a mostly quiet one, but very comforting.

Still, you can’t help but to miss a certain piece of your home.

When the weekend comes, you finally confess to Beel about what has you down.

“Can’t I just...just real quick? I just want to stop at home to get something.”

He tries to ask about what it is specifically that you need, but you just get all fidgety and deflect from his question.

Poor boy is worried that he just upset you more by asking so he drops it.

Helps you get permission from Lucifer, who relents that it wouldn’t hurt for you to have more personal items here with you during your stay in the Devildom.

In the human world, you hadn’t even put your key in the lock before barking was heard from inside. As soon as the door opened, an excited husky jumped you.

You give out a big laugh as the dog puts its front paws on your shoulders and licks your face.

“Chaos, down! Down boy!” You say between laughs. I takes a minute for the good boy to settle down and put all his paws on the ground.

Beel’s original surprise melted away to a sweet smile.

The three of you went inside. As you went to grab a bag and gather different items, Beel sat on the couch (after his offer to help was rejected and he was told to relax).

The slightest movement made by the demon made the fluffy boy jump and let out small barks; he wants to play!

Beel finds a ball on the other side of the room and starts throwing it for the husky. The good boy duo plays fetch!

Eventually, MC comes back in the room, beaming at the sight.

“Aww you’re such good friends now!” You say before picking up a leash and calling Chaos to you. “Come on, boy; you get to come back with me.”

“...What?”

You explain to him that you came all this way for Chaos because you missed your big fluffy furbaby so much.

Sweet boy doesn’t have the heart to tell you no, that Chaos can’t come back with you.

Lucifer, on the other hand, had no issue telling you such when you got back

And, in fairness, its kinda hard to sell the idea that a dog named Chaos won’t cause any trouble in the dorm.

Beel steps up and says he’ll help you take care of the dog.

Lucifer let’s the dog stay

...for now

But if the dog does anything at all wrong, both of you are expected to take responsibly (and punishment) for it.

Belphie:

This boy noticed you started sleeping more, which was the telltale sign that you were feeling sad to him.

Believe me, this boy gets it

And honestly, seeing you turn down spending time with his brothers just hide away in your room to sleep, it hurt to much to see and really hit close to home

Like, only he is allowed to be that depressed. You’re suppose to be cheerfully buzzing around the house like always.

At first, he just kinda inserted himself in your nap times

I mean, he always felt a little better when you or Beel joined him, so it was a good place to start.

He was honestly kinda hurt when you rejected his offer and said you just wanted to be alone for a while.

It only made Sleepy Boy a bit grumpy though. He still laid right beside ya and wrapped an arm around you.

Sleepy Boy wasn’t accepting a no from you

Belphie wasn’t going to leave you alone because he knew all too well that just because you said it, doesn’t mean you actually want it.

“Watching you be like this is just making me sick. I’m not leaving you.”

So yeah, cuddle time is non-negotiable.

One day, you laid there, but couldn't really sleep.

Your problem was just spinning through your head. You wonder if you told Belphie... would help you? Could he help you?

"Hey, Belphie?"

Opens an eye just slightly to look at you.

"Is...is there anyway I could go home? A way that doesn't....doesn't involve Lucifer knowing?"

That got his attention and the boy wasn't too pleased. Opens both of his eyes.

"You've only been back for like a month and you already want to leave us?"

"No! Just...look."

You explain to him the situation and how you just want to grab something from home, but you know Lucifer wouldn't allow you to bring back what you need.

A chance to go behind Lucifer's back and piss him off? Well, why didn't you say so?

Gets help from the other member of the F.A.L.L. (Former Anti-Lucifer League), aka Satan.

Basically gets you home the same way you did in the Satan scenario, but with Belphie tagging along instead.

When you get to your house, you raced inside with Belphie just trailing behind.

Doesn't make it passed your living room, just kinda lays on your couch till you're done grabbing things from your room.

Has to be woken up from his nap when you're ready to leave.

You decide to wake him up in a cute way.

Sleepy boy wakes up to find a fluffy long-earred creature on his stomach.

"What the hell am I looking at?" He yawns.

"Its my bunny, Bella." You grin. "She says 'hi'."

He reaches out to pet the bun's soft fur.

Doesn't really ask anything about it.

I mean, if all it takes is a rabbit to make you happy then it's nothing to question.

Not sure how you'll be able to KEEP the rabbit with you in the Devildom, but hey, that's your problem when you both get back.

~

Masterlist

[livebloggingmydescentintomadness]

Hey momdad. It's my birthday. I haven't slept, and I don't have any messages, and it's dumb to care. But mostly it just makes me feel like a failure. I know this year has been hell for everyone, but I feel like... ugh. I quit a toxic job, then wound up having to move back in with my parents. Each thing I get excited about something gets in the way. I have no idea what I'm doing. I'm a year older, and I've gone backwards, and it feels shitty.

hey, sweetheart, i’m so sorry you’ve had such a shitty night and a shitty year. it’s not stupid to care, or to feel bad after everything. you’re really going through some awful stuff, and it makes complete sense to feel bad when all of that compounds on a lonely night when you feel like nobody cares about you.

look, i’m gonna give you some birthday wisdom, alright? some years of your life serve as nothing but bridges. they have no purpose except for you to get to what’s on the other side. some years, you don’t make progress, you don’t succeed, you don’t live life to the fullest, you don’t make the best, all you do is survive to the next year, because important things are waiting in that next year.

life is not about building up and up and up, year after year, at least not for most people. for most people, you try to build something and you fail. you start again, and get it halfway built and then it crumbles. you build something successfully for twenty-five years and then one day it’s all gone. 

is that scary and discouraging, does it make you feel like giving up before you start? of course. life is terrifying and frustrating and offers no guarantees. but the upside is that you are no unique failure among a sea of effortless successes. everybody is going to fail at some point. everybody is going to take one step forward and then two steps back. everybody has nights where everything seems shitty and miserable. in this low moment, you are anything but alone.

we get way too brainwashed into believing that, firstly, success only looks one way, and secondly, that it’s our fault if we don’t achieve it. it’s capitalism that tells you that you must live by yourself and have a good job, and then it’s also capitalism that makes that impossible and sends you back home. 

not to derail the conversation, but to deal with my own mental illness i’ve recently been watching a lot of calming videos of people gardening and cooking in rural china, and it’s really struck me as an american how all the people i’ve seen live in multi-generational households. it’s normal and expected for young adults to live in the same home as their parents and grandparents. some of them leave to work in the city, but some also stay and the only ‘job’ they have is farming and cooking for their family - which is difficult work, to be sure, but it’s far from what’s expected in the west. 

isn’t it so incredibly fucked up that we kick kids out at 18, after years of them being treated like children and never being taught how to live on their own, and we expect them to just know how to survive and be adults without any help or support? that’s so stupid. there’s no fucking reason you shouldn’t live with your parents for as long as that makes sense for you. capitalism just wants us to buy more things and pay more rent.

listen to me, honey. you quit a toxic job, and that’s honestly a great achievement. escaping a toxic environment is always something to be proud of. you made the right choice by moving home to regroup and figure out what you’re going to do next. and most importantly, you didn’t die from the plague. merciless capitalist brainwashing is the only thing that makes you think you should have done more in a year like 2020. 

it is completely valid for you to feel shitty and frustrated that things haven’t worked out the way you wanted them to. it makes sense that you feel sad that it’s your birthday and you haven’t gotten and messages yet. but the expectations you’ve placed on yourself are too fucking high, okay? you’re still young, and it’s normal for it take years to figure out what you’re doing with your life. it’s normal for your life to suddenly take an entirely different course than what you had planned.

and here’s one last piece of wisdom for you: nobody knows what they’re doing. all of us are born screaming into this weird, frightening life, and none of use are given a guidebook that tells us what to do with it. all of us are just figuring it out as we go and faking it as best as we can. 

now, i want you to sleep, i want you to reach out to some friends today even if they haven’t reached out to you first - they are probably wrapped up in their own stuff and forgot, that doesn’t mean they don’t love you - and i want you to eat some cake and give yourself a fucking break, okay? you’re going to be alright.

[darkarfs]

the worst movie tie-ins in the history of wrestling

Wrestling is stupid, and will show its ass at the mere mention of cross-promotion, especially when it comes to movies, which is it's cooler older brother that can get away with a lot more. Hell, the 2nd ever SummerSlam's main event, in 1989, was Hulk Hogan facing the main villain, Tiny Lister as Zeus (RIP), from the film they were both in, No Holds Barred. So wrestling's always wanted a piece of that. So... - Army of the Dead Let's just get this one out of the way. Here's the thing; I thought the WrestleMania Backlash's card was fucking perfect...except for this weird business. WMB MIGHT've been the best show of the pandemic (hot take) were it not for making sure we sell Big Dave's big zombie heist movie. If they had just kept some of the guys in zombie makeup on the Thunderdome's webcam footage, that would have been borderline charming. But instead, the Miz (who was WWE champion 3 months ago, don't forget) and Damien Priest (who they're making WWE's pop-culture liaison so far on the main roster, for some reason) had to sell for zombies in a lumberjack match. If this was the first ever wrestling show you watched with a loved one who had never watched wrestling or hadn't since like, the end of the Attitude Era, would you for a second want them to stick around after Miz and Morrison get, for all intents and purposes, kayfabe killed and eaten, and then watch Damien Priest shoot the logo at the ceiling? My money's on "no." - Shaft Speaking of the Attitude Era, anytime someone tells you that wrestling was cooler in that 3-year time frame, point them to the June 15th of 2000 episode of SmackDown, where a storyline that ran throughout the show followed Patterson and Briscoe through New York City to find Crash Holly and his Hardcore Title. Now, I admit parts of this are kinda funny, like Briscoe just wanting to give up and find a "gen-yoo-WINE New York hot dawg!" That's fun! And who does Crash Holly run into but none other than Shaft, and his woman, the only one who understands this complicated man, John Shaft. So, we have real Samuel L. Jackson, playing fake John Shaft, talking to real/fictional Crash Holly, and man is it weird. Anyway, Shaft agrees to be Crash's bodyguard for the night, and he slaps around Patterson and Briscoe in a nightclub. After all, what better way to get across how cool and badass a character is than having him knock around the fucking Stooges? - The Wrestler Well, this is complicated. The Wrestler, starring ancient wooden lion Mickey Rourke, is a somber tale about an industry that, in its heyday, left people physically spent, washed-up and addicted to adrenaline at best, and dead at worst. It famously moved Roddy Piper to tears because he recognized what destruction and brokenness the industry once left in its wake. Which is why it's super-weird that WWE jumped at the chance to promote maybe the bleakest possible look at their world in 2009, and did so by having Chris Jericho smack the shit out of three old wrestlers at WrestleMania 25, including Roddy Piper. And then have Rourke jump into the ring, wearing his "do you want to take peyote in the desert?" starter kit and bring out his amateur boxing chops. Tonally, it's just really bleak. Like if the creator of Super Size Me screened the premiere at the world's biggest McDonald's. - Bride of Chucky Poor Rick Steiner. You didn't deserve this. You're the sane Steiner. They shouldn't have made you talk to the puppet. So, WCW was heading into Halloween Havoc 1998, and after years of stomping all over the WWF in the ratings, the wheels had come off, and dramatically. Like, all at once. Like the car in the Blues Brothers. To boost PPV buys, they spent a fortune bringing in the Ultimate Warrior to rekindle a feud with Hulk Hogan, mostly by hiding in his fucking mirror. And the Steiner Brothers, one of the best teams of the early 90s, had been feuding with one another since Scott turned on his at SuperBrawl. What was the best way to build hype around this match at Halloween Havoc? Why, to have Rick get into a war of words - and lose - to Chucky. Yes.

Serial killer doll voiced by Brad Dourif, and it's so sad. Chucky cusses Rick out while Rick challenges the fucking doll to a fight, which is promptly ignored (Chucky's video segment is pre-recorded, and you can tell because he starts talking about 3 times in 3 minutes while Rick's mid-promo and missing his cues to stop) and then is made fun of. And all the while, people were probably wondering "what's going on on Vince's show?" and the answer is...that was the episode of Raw where Austin fills Vince's Corvette with cement, which is slightly more badass than being teased by a puppet. - The Goods Here's the thing: Raw is, right now, a bad show. It is bad TV. It's been bad for a while now. And as bad as it is right now, it's still not as fuck-awful as it was in 2009, aka the Age of the Guest Hosts (which, in kayfabe, was given to us by Donald J. Trump, so blame that ambulatory Nazi scrotum for one more thing, he's certainly earned it). For those of you fortunate enough to not be watching what was objectively unwatchable at the time - and hell, I sure as shit wasn't checking in very often - from mid-2009 to around mid-2010, a celebrity would be the special guest host of Monday Night Raw, often to promote a TV show or movie, and it was nearly all horribly-written, cheesy wank. Imagine if every week was the week of the zombie attack at Backlash. That's what it was like. Bob Barker was funny. The Muppets were good. And THAT'S the end of the list. MacGruber coming out to blow up R-Truth made me want to fall on a knife. The A-Team coming out to beat up Virgil was fucking awful. Go straight to fucking HELL, the Three Stooges, Dennis Miller, the reverend Al Sharpton, the 2010 Pittsburgh Steelers, Don Johnson and Jon Heder, the poor entire cast of Hot Tub Time Machine...and then there's Piven. Jeremy Piven. He showed up with Ken Jeong to promote a movie no one remembers...called the Goods. He stunk up several segments, infamously called SummerSlam "the Summer Fest" and then got roughed up by John Cena. Wrestling's the worst. Stop watching. And many did. For a looooooong time. - Robocop 2 This one's infamous, so I'll keep it brief. Robocop 2 came out in 1990, and goddamn, I don't know how much money the producers threw at WCW, but it was enough for them to rebrand an entire PPV "Capitol Combat: the Return of Robocop" and marketed the entire thing around the fancy metallic gentleman. The branding really made it seem like Robert Cop was old friends with the promotion, and indeed, old friends with Sting. Makes sense; two big, heroic idiots running on BASIC. He had been feuding with the Four Horsemen, who locked him in a cage at ringside. Out comes Robocop, called completely straight by Jim Ross, who rips the cage door off his hinges, and then leaves. An accumulated 85 seconds of screen time. Totally worth being the centerpiece of this PPV! But a little context as to why WCW fans hated it so much: 1989, the year before, was regarded by WCW fans as one of the best in company history. The era that gave us stuff like Chi-Town Rumble and the still-very-much-lauded peak of the Steamboat/Flair feud. To go from that to Robocop was seen as a bit of a slap in the face, because WCW was always seen as the more traditional "wrasslin'" company and was never into cheesy pop-culture crossovers, which is why the last one...is all the funnier.

- Ready To Rumble First of all, those dumbasses at Turner had to give Michael Buffer - who they still had on retainer - around $350,000 just to use that title, because he owns the trademark to that phrase. Strike 127 million, capitalism, that a guy gets to own a phrase and gets paid an obscene amount when he or anyone else uses it. Secondly, I initially wasn't going to do movies where the promotion itself is producing the movie, or oh holy HELL would See No Evil and the infamous May 19 shit be on here. But unlike See No Evil, this had a hand in killing a decades-old wrestling promotion, so it feels weird to not include it. On April 7th, 2000, bad movie Ready To Rumble was released, a film about two hapless dorks trying to help Oilver Platt, aka the lawyer from the West Wing, become WCW World Heavyweight Champion. Two weeks later, to promote the movie, they made David Arquette, the lead actor in the movie, the WCW World Heavyweight Champion. He pinned Eric Bischoff, who wasn't the champion, of course, in a match where he was teamed with Diamond Dallas Page, his best pal and the company's top babyface at the time, but who is also one of the villains in the film to make it extra confusing for the mainstream casual audience the movie was made to attract. And, to be fair, Arquette didn't want to do it, NO ONE really wanted to do it, and it tanked viewership for WCW once and for all. At the very least, David took his payday from the wrestling appearances and the film and gave it to the families of Owen Hart, Brian Pillman and to Darren Drozdov, who had been paralyzed from the neck down in a wrestling match the previous year.

[3pirouette]

Fic: Move Forward From This (1/1)

Title: Move Forward From This By: TriplePirouette/3Pirouette Disclaimer: They're not mine. Distribution: AO3 Anyone else please ask first :)

Story Summary: Set Post-Age of Ultron, written in 2015. Wanda and Steve don’t sleep, and they’re both dealing with loss.

Chapter A/N: This has been written for a while, I don’t know why I never posted it. I think it’s great now that I’ve re-read it. Another fic posted thanks to the Tumblr WIP Title Game. Implied Steggy.

~*~

She doesn’t sleep. Not anymore. Not when it’s dark outside or light outside or even when she’s exhausted from training.

She’s an Avenger now, she has to be ready for anything, and that means at least trying to rest.

But when she closes her eyes, she sees it all. She sees the death, the destruction, the fear and evil and pain that was in their heads.

She comes to the lounge on the third floor west wing, the one that most people don’t go into during the day because the sun filters through the glass and turns the room to an oven despite the air conditioning, because the angle as the sun sets makes the walls look like they’re on fire. It was a consequence of the modern design, and most of the staff just avoided the room and wrote it off. She’d heard Stark mumbling about using it for storage one day as he passed.

She loved it. She could lay curled on her side on the couch, invisible to the rest of the base, and face the long windows, feel the warmth of the sun and feel alive, watch the sunset and feel like she was burning. She could hide here, and feel things she could hide her pain in.

Imagine that it was the sun that hurt her eyes- that’s why they were filled with tears.

When she’d been a child she had always scoffed at her teacher’s lessons about heroes, about their journey and the hardships. She’d watched newsreels and laughed at the idea at these people felt pain, that they had suffered like she had.

Now she knew they did- she knew their suffering intimately, it lived in her brain, sitting between every memory she had, pulling the images out every time she closed her eyes.

She had been so wrong, and it hurt to try to think that she could move forward from this.

All the bright, shiny jackets, thick rubber boots and training sessions in the world could help her put on a strong, brave face, but it would never change what had happened, it would never take away that image of her brother limp and lifeless in Clint’s arms.

She’d tried tonight, she’d tried harder than any other night to get her mind to slow, to calm, to forget and get some rest, but she’d only been able to sleep for two hours before she awoke screaming and tangled in the blankets.

She’d come back to the lounge, a mug of tea in her hands. Sam had suggested it- chamomile, he said, helped calm the nerves. She wasn’t sure if it was the tea, or the clear night sky beyond the windows, but after a while her breathing slowed.

She was contemplating the stars, searching for constellations that weren’t familiar to her when she saw his reflection in the glass before her.

Wanda saw him in the halls late at night often, but they simply passed one another like ghosts with little nods of the head and went their separate ways each time. Tonight, he wasn’t moving, but didn’t approach her, either.

Wanda closed her eyes and she saw the beautiful brunette. We can go home, Steve, she said in her mind, a light English accent floating over her spine and making her shiver.

“You’re not like them,” she said softly, her eyes still closed tis form in the glass, concentrating instead on feeling his presence behind her. “They were afraid of violence, of destruction. I reaching into their minds and pulled from them their nightmares.”

Steve’s footfalls were quiet as he rounded the small couch, sitting gently on the edge. “Is that what everyone saw? Their nightmares?”

It hadn’t been so long ago, really. A month. Thirty days, exactly in the morning since it had all happened. Far away and yet in the scheme of everything, so very close. She nodded. “Thor transcended his fear to a higher plane, though I’m not sure how. He feared bacchanalia without purpose- he feared the loss of purpose and responsibility. Tony- Tony saw the destruction of all that he loved at his hands. Natalia, she saw her past. And yet you- I would be happy to have that dream.”

A dark smile flitted over Steve’s face as he contemplated his hands, held in tight fists and resting over his knees. “It should tell you something that you tried to pull out a nightmare and you got that, shouldn’t it?”

“Who is she?” Wanda asked quietly, setting her tea don on the small coffee table in front of them.

Steve looked at Wanda, taking in her disheveled hair, her tired eyes, her hopeful look, and cleared his throat softly. “She… she was the girl I was gonna marry when the war was over.”

“Your fiancé?” Her voice was high and confused. He’d long since been used to her steady demeanor, tonight she reminded him just how young she was.

“Not quite.” He shrugged and leaned back. “We were in love, though.” He gazed out the windows, taking in each tree and twinkling star instead of looking at Wanda as he spoke. “It was complicated back then- like now, but different. It was a different time, a different war- but there was this expectation that we all had that one day it would be over. I owed her a dance, but we never got it- instead I…” He couldn’t finish, just let the words trail off as his chin hung to his chest.

“Your hell is the life you never got to live,” Wanda whispered, heavy with understanding.

“Every night,” he affirmed, rubbing his tired eyes roughly. “Sometimes it’s the dance, sometimes it��s a little house just outside of Brooklyn or in the English country side.”  He threw his hands down to his thighs, shaking his head to try to rattle the images free. “It’s not like we had specific plans or anything, it’s not like we ever even explicitly said- but-“

Wanda reached out, taking his hand in hers. It was something she rarely did- touching other people. It made the connections strong for her, too strong sometimes. He looked at their hands held close with wide eyes. “The loss of possibilities, yes? The loss of ‘what if’?”

He held her hand tightly, just s tightly as she held his. “Yes, exactly.”

“I never imagined my life without Pietro in it, not for one second, and yet now I am faced with his absence every day.” She let go of his hand and filled her grasp with her tea, cradling the mug close to her chest. She looked at him from the side of her gaze, the sadness wafting from him mingling with her own. “We will never be who we were, or who we thought we’d be then.”

“No,” he agreed without looking at her, “we won’t.”

She sipped the tea, surprised at how comfortable she felt, wallowing in the sadness, sharing it, letting it just exist rather than fighting it. She could almost label it contentment. Almost.

The idea, the image popped into her head before she could stop it, the mad being overtaken by the mask. She wondered if it came from him or her subconscious, but either way, it made her sick. Her stomach rolled and her breath quickened until she nearly screamed. “No!”

He jumped back, looking at her with wide eyes on edge. “Wanda-“

“We are not just soldiers, Steve.” She shook her head, her tea spilling as she forced it back on the table as she climbed to her knees, turning to him and grabbing his shoulders. “We are not going to disappear into these personas of nothingness. You are not just Captain America now, I’m not just the Scarlet Witch or whatever silly name Tony’s come up with for me. We’re not characters on a t-shirt or in a movie. We’re people. You’re Steve and I’m Wanda and we’ve lost things that are so dear to us we’ll never be the same!”

He gently pulled her hands from his shoulders, his eyes sad as he willed her to calm down. “It’s easier. It’s easier to just be a soldier.”

“She wouldn’t want that, you know she wouldn’t.”

He pulled his hands away like she was fire. The truth hurt him like a knife, she could feel the energy in the room change and she knew she’d taken it to far. For the first time in a month she’d felt a connection and she’d broken it. She jumped from the couch, knocking the coffee table and her tea over in her rush to get out of the room.

“Wanda!” He called to her, stopping her just as she got to the door. She held the jam tightly, her fingers turning white. She wouldn’t look at him, couldn’t.

The silence held fast, heavy and long to the point where she was ready to leave when he finally spoke again. “I know she wouldn’t.” He sighed. “This life wasn’t a part of any future I imagined for myself.”

She cocked her head, just enough to see the shadow of him in her peripheral vision. “A life without Pietro was not every anything I planned, either.” She let her forehead rest on the door jamb. “But when you lose enough, you stop making plans.”  She took a deep breath, her fingers picking at a tiny dent in the metal jamb. “Maybe… maybe we need to start trying again.”

Steve didn’t leave the couch, but she could see him moving, heard the sound of the table being up righted and the shards of ceramic mug being picked up. “I’ll…” he sighed, stopped, and started again. “I’ll bring the tea tomorrow night, how about that?”

Wanda couldn’t help the small smile that spread over her face. “Yes, I think that is a good plan for a start.” She didn’t turn back as she left, pulled all of her senses inward so she couldn’t feel him, and headed straight to her room. He couldn’t be her brother, but at least, she thought, Steve could be a friend. Wanda didn’t remember the last time she had called someone that, and the idea of having one was warm enough to lull her back into bed, a happy enough thought to get her another hour of sleep.

[zozophoenixxx]

Friendly reminders about The Flash⚡️

Things I had forgotten or little details I just noticed on my rewatch, maybe even Unpopular Opinions 🤭👀

✨Season 4✨

Even though this was honestly one of my least favorite seasons it was pretty interesting to watch and it had some pretty cool, badass and hilarious scenes lmao

Ok but the intro on the first episode was kinda cool

Cisco, wally and Joe working together... we stan 🙌🏼

Also the new star labs tables and tech make it look pretty cool

Samuroid, Kilg%re, Hazard, Amunet Black, T•h•e W•e•e•p•e•r, Black Bison, The Thinker, Bᵣₐᵢₙₛₜₒᵣₘ, 千卂ㄥㄥㄖㄩㄒ, Prank and Trickster Jr., Dwarfstar, m̾e̾l̾t̾i̾n̾g̾ ̾p̾o̾i̾n̾t̾, Null, The folded man

Ramsey Deacon aka Kilg%re

Rebecca Sharpe (Becky) aka Hazard

Ralph Dibny aka the elongated man

T•h•e W•e•e•p•e•r

Mina Chaytan aka Black Bison

Dominic Lance aka Bᵣₐᵢₙₛₜₒᵣₘ

Neil Borman aka 千卂ㄥㄥㄖㄩㄒ

Sylbert Rundine aka Dwarfstar

Izzy Bowen

Matthew Kim aka m̾e̾l̾t̾i̾n̾g̾ ̾p̾o̾i̾n̾t̾

Janet Petty aka Null

Edwin Gauss aka the folded man

Wally can speak Japanese😂

Joe being able to forgive Caitlin after what she did is amazing I love them 🥺

West-Allen kiss count (approximately): 46 😘

Cisco being upset because he was at the "doghouse" in ep2 is hilarious

"Rule number 1, when a girl say it's fine, it's not fine" i- I'd be happy with Cisco as my boyfriend

Gypsy's gorgeous bro 🤩

Ok i'm sorry but that "we are the flash" bothers me

Not Cisco, Barry, and Caitlin playing laser tag... AGAINST KIDS😂💀 And Cisco really went "you have failed this city" I love them (ep3)

Jesse just broke up with Wally... With a…

Breakup cube i-

HARRY IS SO AWKWARD

Joe being lost or done with everything going on around him is hilarious, and he also looked so sad when Cecile asked him to sell the house

Iris and Barry really would've gotten married out of the blue if it hadn't been for Kevin (the lil boy in ep3) LMAOOO

This boy really used cinnamon incense on purpose when the father was allergic to it and just went :) ┐(´ー｀)┌

"no need to shame the little boy" I-

We love Barry defending little kids 🥺

I liked Cisco's shirt in this episode

Haikus are easy

But sometimes they don't make sense

Refrigerator

Not Wally leaving 🥺😩

BAHHAHHSXHAHSGHASGAH Joe's reaction when Cecile told him she was pregnant

OMG just realized that in the beginning of ep4 when Cisco and Gypsy are making out on Cisco's bed that… BRO I-

After Cisco asked Gypsy what her real name was she went to the bathroom and he stayed in bed but went to look for something in the little night table… that something was probably a condom… Y'ALL WHAT BAHBSAHBSHAS

Ralph Dibny used to be a dirty cop, I had Completely forgotten about this man

I just noticed that every time that Barry goes into a new room he looks around and i guess he tries to grasp as much information of it as possible and it's kinda cute

I like how Breacher always has a serious face but when Gypsy talks to him he smiles 🥺

CISKY KABDjahdHAHDSH

Also Breacher being Danny Trejo (Machete) from Spy Kids

"Good people don't destroy lives and call it noble"

Gypsy's real name is Cynthia and Breacher's Josh

Girl Night's out was an awesome episode, I mean we got to see the girls working together, Felicity, Drunk Barry and Cecile going #feminism it's just great

Amunet was kinda funny lmao Annoying but funny lol

BAHSHAHHA that scene when they get mugged by the guy that try to mugged Barry in s1 is hilariousss (ep6)

Ok but Black Bison (Mina) was right like why are things that belong to people that are still here in a museum?

Uff istg I hate Marlize sm like she's so manipulative and she just slapped Barry like bro u know ur guilty he's just doing his job ugh, I know she becomes good at the end but still 😤🙄

Harry and Caitlin 🥺

I love how Cisco's powers improved throughout the seasons. Like at the beginning he needed his goggles to vibe and now he just did it without them.

Bro even tho Amunet is evil she really just encouraged Caitlin and let her know that she is amazing for her, not only for killer frost.

I like Iris and Caitlin's friendship

The fact that she decided to go after Caitlin, instead of Barry shows how good of a leader she is

"those white girl dreads came straight from the 90s" BAHSHAHHA I love Cisco

Bro no wth I only saw Dominic for one episode and I already loved him 🥺

UGHHHH He didn't do anything this is not fair it makes me so upset like it was so infuriating to see him go through trial for something he didn't do🥺

Ig that's what he felt like when his dad-

I-

Noooooo

Caitlin holding Iris's hand during trial 🥺

Ralph really protected Joe and prevented him from basically destroying his life by planting fake evidence on Marlize's shoes

Ok but I love 千卂ㄥㄥㄖㄩㄒ's episode because I think it's like the first time that we get to see Killer Frost fighting alongside them 🥺

They really helped Caitlin turn into Killer Frost with... puppies 🥺😂❤️

Bro the amount of people that are in jail for crimes they didn't commit makes me so upset

And the fact that he got the same cell as his dad 🤌🏼😩

"I'm the fastest mop alive" I love how even when he's in prison he's still finds a way to smile or make Iris smile i-

Zoey Clark was James Jesse's girlfriend and Axel Walker's mother.

Ralph's first superhero name was stretchy man

Lexi La Roche was Caitlin's childhood bully

Omg just saw Nora for the first time in s4 ehhh actually probably not the first time since I think she appeared in the crossover but I skipped that episode so oh well 😂

She's so awkward- her Barry is showing lmaoooo

OMG I love this, Cecile just found out she can read minds lmaooo

JOE'S FACE BAHSHHHAHAHA

SHE'S A TELEPATH

BULBASAUR BAHAHAHAHAHA

Big Sir's real name is Dave and i-🥺

BARRY'S A CHEATER ABSHAHAHH he cheated on poker lmaooo

Cecile would definitely be me if I had powers

Harry's actually pretty insecure

Mini Ralph and Mini Cisco are hilarious

I will forever love Big Sir like 🥺

The fact that he did get his happy ending 🥺☺️❤️

Bro I felt so bad when the bus metas were almost free and Devoe took them 🥺

I'm ngl I'd love to get a pep talk from killer frost

OMG THATS WHY HE NEEDED T•h•e W•e•e•p•e•r i never really understood why he needed him but it was to keep Marlize in love

BAHSHAHHA I love Cisco "Ralph I love you but you sleep on a futon" (a damp futon)

AND IRIS "you nasty" JAHSHAHA

Ok but I love Izzy Bowen's energy, she reminds me of Laurel sm

I love how Harry calls Cecile- DA Cecile Horton

The Flash s4:E14 "Subject 9" minute 12:14 - Cisco yelling "Iris" with the voice Crack is the most hilarious thing I've seen today lmaoo

Just realized that the first time we saw Izzy Bowen she was singing Somethin' Bad which was probably foreshadowing what was going to happen with her character

Bro izzy🥺

"AH SON OF A BREACH" BAHSHAHHA

Iris being a speedster is kinda cool and I like that her lightning is purple :)💜⚡️

Cisco just saved Iris 🥺

Poor Cisco, Harry just destroyed his little airplane thingie he was working on because he was looking for his thinking cap that Joe had because Harry was getting addicted to it

And Joe noticed because Harry had the same symptoms as Francine did 🥺

Bro that scene in ep18 where Marlize and Iris are fighting is pretty badass, especially when Iris basically stabs herself to get rid of Marlize or when Joe makes it into the Cortex with the Samuroid's head in a pole lmaooo😂

Ralph and Killer Frost 🥺

I love Snart from Earth-X

Bro no I love Cisco and Gypsy I cried when they broke up 🥺

Amunet's real name is Leslie Jocoy

Diggle throwing up after running with Barry every single time is hilarious😂

I love it when Cecile inhabits other people's minds right when she's about to give birth BAHSHAHHA SHE REALLY IMPERSONATED JOE PERFECTLY

Joe and Cecile baby's name is Jenna Marie West🥺☺️

This house is bitchin' BAHAHAHA I hated this cliffhanger like I loved it bc it wasn't that bad but it was yk?😂

[kiarcheo]

StepBother - Part 2

@tally-braven asked for more stepbother teasing and I said I’d try to put some snippets together… 2800 words later…here we are. Not sure how it compares to the the first part (don’t think it will make much sense if you haven’t read it) but I tried.

Some episodes are inspired by real life events…feel free to try to guess which ones.

As usual you can read it on ao3 too.

                                                --------------------------------

Kat and Cathy stand at the entrance of the house they share, still holding hands, as they have been for the entirety of their walk home after dinner.

‘Hate to leave you like this, but I have something to take care of.’ Kat raises Cathy’s hand to her lips, kissing it briefly.

Then she opens the door and gone is the soft voice. ‘You better start running!’

‘Wow,’ Anna is almost bowled over by Mary running up the stairs. Few second later it’s Katherine who narrowly manages to avoid crashing into her.

‘What's happening?’ she cautiously steps into the living room, wary of another possible collision, as she hears a door slamming.

‘No idea. Kat came back with Cathy, told Mary to run and...that happened.’ Jane waves her hand towards upstairs.

‘Mary! Open the door!’ Kat bangs on it. ‘I know how to pick locks and you know it.’

‘She does??’

Cathy is not sure why they are looking at her, but she is saved from having to reply. She did not know about it, just for the record.

‘Is Mae sleeping yet?’ Kat pokes her head out from up the stairs, a grimace on her face.

Jane looks at time. ‘She was playing with Anne and Elizabeth so probably not, but-’ she gives another pointed look to the clock hanging on the wall.

‘Got it. I’ll try to murder her quietly.’

**********

‘I have some news.’ Kat announces entering the room.

‘You finally leaving?’

Kat glares at Mary. ‘As if I’d ever give you the satisfaction.’ She turns around to leave the room.

‘Wait!’ Jane stops her. ‘What was the news?’

‘The moment is gone.’ Kat shrugs. ‘But I’m sure you’ll find out soon enough.’

Sometime later Cathy knocks on the doorpost of Kat’s room. ‘Can I?’

‘You know you don’t have to ask.’ Kat smiles at her. ‘What can I do for you?’

Cathy steps in. She glances between her girlfriend and the hallway. She closes the door.

‘Oh.’ Kat wriggles her eyebrows. ‘That kind of thing?’

‘Shut up.’ Cathy huffs, rolling her eyes. ‘It’s not like that.’ She says while sitting down in her lap.

‘Mixed messages, darling.’

Cathy tries to stand up, but Kat wraps her arms around her, stopping her. ‘No take backs!’

‘Not that I mind this. At all.’ Kat speaks up after they have been snuggling in silence for a while. ‘But did you come for a reason? Not that cuddling is not a good enough reason.’

‘Right.’ Cathy had almost forgot why she went looking for Kat in the first place. ‘Jane said you had news, but you didn’t actually tell them?’ She doesn’t think it’s anything big, trusting Kat would tell her in that case, but she is curious. ‘Because Mary ruined the moment?’

‘When does she not? And it’s not news for you.’

‘Uh?’

‘At least I hope.’ She adds cheekily.

‘You think you’re funny, don’t you?’

‘Well, you are smiling...’

‘Spit it out.’ Cathy can’t deny the evidence, can she?

‘I was just going to tell them we are dating, but alas…’

Cathy nods. They had agreed at first to keep it under wraps to see how the transition from friends to girlfriends would go, but now they feel secure enough in their new relationship to let the others know. ‘So, what now?’

‘I’m sure it will come up...out soon.’ Kat gets a mischievous twinkle in her eyes. ‘You can’t keep your hands off me after all.’

‘Me.’ Cathy gives her teasing girlfriend a deadpan stare, before looking down at the hand on her thigh. Kat’s other hand is currently under her shirt, resting on her lower back. Cathy’s arms are innocently looped around Kat’s neck. ‘Sure.’

**********

‘I think green is definitely your colour.’

‘As if I would ever be jealous of you.’ Mary scoffs.

‘Interesting that’s where your mind went to...I was thinking more Wicked Witch of the West. Or Shrek.’ Kat adds after a beat.

‘First of all, I’d be Fiona – at the very least –   since I’m a lady. Second, who would you be? Donkey?’

‘There is literally Puss in Boots, a literal character who is a cat in boots,’ Kat gestures to the ones she is wearing, ‘and you went with freaking Donkey?’

‘Shut up.’

**********

‘How is coming along, girls?’ Catalina asks, entering the kitchen to check how the preparations are going since they are on cooking duties and Mary is not exactly known for her culinary skills. Indeed, Kat has different piles of ingredients already washed, chopped, prepared and ready to go and Mary has...a bowl full of green leaves in front of her and some mangled carrots on the chopping board.  ‘Kat, you work fast.’

‘I’m very good with my hands.’ Kat winks at her.

‘Are you serious? Right in front of my salad?’

‘I wouldn’t call that poor excuse of something a salad... Perhaps just...sad.’

Mary stares at her. Looks at her mother who is chuckling. Then she leaves the room.  

‘Where are you going?!’

‘Want me to make her come back?’ Mary might be a young adult, but Catalina is still her mother and she will listen to her if she knows what is good for her.

‘Nah. Not like she was that helpful, anyway, wasn’t she?’ She jokes, gesturing towards Mary’s workstation.

‘Are you talking behind my back?’ Mary comes back. She has a strong sense of duty – her mother doing – and it is her turn to cook, after all.

‘Nothing I don’t say to your face, don’t worry.’

**********

‘What’s this?’ Mary picks up a small object wrapped in colourful paper.

‘A gift, if I have to guess.’ Anne gets a glare from Mary, but she shrugs it off.

‘Oh, that’s nice.’ Jane comments, watching curiously as she opens it. It’s a...peeler?

‘I would say that’s all you are good for, but that’s not even true.’ Kat shows up as if evoked. ‘Hence the need for that.’

Anna barely suppresses a snicker. She loves her friend, but Mary’s incapacity to peel vegetables with a knife without cutting off half of the good part is hilarious almost as much as her blaming the quality of the knives. Is it true that they don’t make knives like they used to? Maybe. But as if as a princess and then queen she ever had to handle one to peel a vegetable....

‘Or not.’ Jane mutters, the way Kat and Mary manage to turn even the sweetest gesture into something...not sweet baffling her as usual.

‘I’m going to poison your food.’

‘That would imply you cooking...so I think I’m safe.’

**********

‘Kat, are you gonna marry mama and be my new mom?’

Kat chokes on her tea, nonetheless she motions Mae to get closer. ‘Why are you asking?’

Mae shrugs, before leaning against Kat’s leg.

Kat wraps an arm around her and holds her closer, before looking at her thoughtfully. ‘Did someone say something?’

The toddler nods. ‘Mary told me to ask you.’ She admits guilelessly. Oh, the blissful innocence of children.

‘Of course, she did.’ Kat mutters.

Thankfully Cathy comes in distracting Mae from her task. ‘Ehi baby, have you shown Kat your drawing yet?’

As Mae runs off to get her latest artwork, Kat turns to Cathy. ‘What do you think of starting to call her Mary?’

‘It’s still going to be as confusing as it was when we decided for the nicknames?’ She looks at her perplexed. Kat should know better than anyone since they had the same “problem”. ‘With two of them around and all?’

‘Oh, don’t worry.’ Cathy’s usually sweet girlfriend gives her a shark smile. ‘The other one won’t be around for much longer.’

**********

Cathy and Kat are out together, Mae in tow, when they stop in front of a stationery shop.

‘She still has plenty of colouring books.’

‘I was actually looking at that,’ Kat points to a set of coloured pencils heavily discounted, ‘but now that you mention it...’

‘I didn't know you liked to draw too.’ Kat has a penchant for spoiling Mae (and Elizabeth and Edward), but pencils that expensive and fancy for a toddler are too much even for her. Hopefully.

‘For Mary.’ Kat replies absent-mindedly as she enters the shop.

‘That's nice.’

Kat swirls around. ‘Never say anything like that again.’ She gives her a level stare. ‘If you want this to work out. There is nothing worse you could do to me.’

‘Really??’ Disbelief is heavy in Cathy’s voice. ‘Nothing worse??’

‘Well, on purpose, anyway.’ Kat amends herself. ‘Would you cheat on me?’

‘Of course not!’ Cathy’s reply is immediate and certain, no hesitation whatsoever. ‘Never.’

‘Are you going to hurt me...physically?’

‘What the fuck, Kat! NO!’

Everyone in the shop turns to look at them, but Kat ignores it. ‘Exactly, so yes, that’s the worst thing.’

**********

‘Give me a good reason!’

Catalina walks in what looks like yet another spat between Kat and Mary. She would make a joke about pigtails pulling and crushes or about fighting like an old married couple, but she is not sure she would survive unscathed, filial affection be damned. And the joke is not worth the headache, especially since she knows it’s not like that at all and will never be. Not to mention that she suspects something is going on between Kat and Cathy.

‘And “I was the Queen of England” does not count!’ Kat continues before Mary can reply. ‘The whole bloody house can say that, you’re not that special!’

**********

It’s late at night, pretty much the only time Cathy has to do her own stuff, after taking care of kids, house, family, work and everything else, as many mothers know.

She is working at her desk when she hears a muffled commotion. Then her door opening and a soft thud.

She turns around. For a second she wonders if it had been just a draught, before seeing Kat sprawled on the floor but already raising on her knees.

‘Are you okay?’

‘Yep!’

‘Why are you on the floor then?’

‘Mary shoved me.’

Cathy has stopped questioning these kinds of things. But as Kat looks up, eyes bright, face flushed and...dopey grin? She has another question. ‘Are you drunk?’

‘Nope!’ She tries to stand, giving up not even half-way through the motion. ‘Maybe a tiny bit.’ Evidently deciding that walking is a no-go, Kat starts to crawl on all four.

‘Tiny bit my ass.’ Cathy snorts.

‘I like your ass.’

‘Wait here.’ Cathy ignores her girlfriend’s muttered words.

‘Not going anywhere.’ Kat promises in a what is probably supposed to be a serious tone.

When Cathy comes back with a glass of water, Kat had somehow managed to reach the bed and sit on it.

‘Drink this.’

‘Are you trying to get me drunk?’ Kat squints at her, suspicious.

‘I don’t think you need my help for that.’ Cathy hands her the glass. ‘What happened exactly?’ she asks after Kat dutifully drinks all the water without further protests.

‘Mary got me drunk. To get me to confess my feelings to you. Joke’s on her.’ Kat sniggers. ‘She paid for all the drinks. But I don’t need to be drunk to tell you how much I like you.’

‘Lay down.’ Cathy gently pushes her as she sees her starting to waver. ‘Wait...she still doesn’t know?’

She looks at Kat, face scrunched up and eyes closed. She would not fall asleep like that, right? She leans on her elbow so that she is hovering over Kat’s face, just to check.

‘She keeps saying I’ll owe her for getting us together and I keep telling her no,’ Kat looks deep in thoughts. ‘So maybe not?’

Suddenly her eyes shoot open and she grabs Cathy by her collar, tugging her so close to their noses are almost touching. ‘Never tell her that!’

She tilts her head. Gone is the intense look in her eyes, replaced by a sappy expression. ‘You’re so cute!’

Cathy lets out a cackle. ‘Go to sleep.’

‘Here?’ She looks around as if realising for the first time she is in Cathy’s room. ‘No funny business!’ she wags her finger at Cathy but scoots over while tugging her down so that Cathy would lay down properly too.

‘You’re the only funny thing here.’ Still, Cathy settles next to her.

‘Good.’ Kat puts her head on Cathy’s shoulder, slinging an arm across her waist and a leg over hers. ‘They say you need to make a woman laugh to keep her. And I want to keep you forever.’

‘How can you go from absolutely ridiculous to absolutely charming in the space of-’ Cathy turns her head to look down at Kat. ‘And you’re gone.’ She sighs. Well. At least now she knows what type of drunk Kat is. Thankfully she isn’t a violent or aggressive one (she honestly can’t even imagine her girlfriend like that) or an angry one. She is not a sad drunk, either, which is a bit more surprising, since she has plenty of reasons to be sad (and angry, if she were to be honest) about her life even when sober.

She glances at her desk. Then at her sleeping girlfriend. She should keep an eye on her. No matter how adorable she was when drunk, she is quite sure she is gonna hate herself when she wakes up. She supposes work can wait another day. And a little bit more of sleep isn’t going to hurt her either.

‘How much did she drink, exactly?’ Cathy asks the next day.

‘Is she okay?’ She sees a flash of concern in Mary’s eyes, before she schools her expression into an indifferent one. That’s why Cathy just rolls with their antics. She can’t say she understands their relationship. She is not sure she will ever do. But she knows that they care about each other...even if they will deny it until their dying breath.

‘Depends on your definition of okay. Is she alive? Yes. But she is also deeply regretting the fact and calling for a second beheading, so make of that what you will.’

**********

‘Since it’s only a question of time, I wanted us to discuss it so we can be all on the same page.’ Anne sends Kat and Anna a pointed look. She would be proud of how Elizabeth has them wrapped around her little finger if it didn’t make her life as a mother harder. They ignore the jab, unfazed. They have a role as the cool, fun aunts to maintain. ‘Let’s talk about animals in the house.’ Elizabeth has been dropping not-so-subtle hints about wanting to get a pet.

‘What about Mary?’ Kat gets hit in the head by a rubber. Thrown by Mary, of course. ‘Let’s call pest control. I vote for extermination.’

**********

‘You two are having sex.’ Mary storms into the living room, where Anna had told her Kat was watching a movie with Cathy.

‘Catalina, why didn’t you tell me, I would have paused the movie.’

The older woman sputters, the popcorn she was eating going down the wrong pipe. Cathy reaches around Kat, who is sitting in the middle, to pat her godmother on the back.

‘Also, Mary, dear,’ Kat continues unperturbed, ‘do you spend a lot of time thinking about me and your mom together?’

‘That’s not what I meant, and you know it.’

‘Do I?’ Kat looks at Mary as if butter wouldn't melt in her mouth, eyes twinkling.

**********

‘I know I'm right and I’m gonna prove it.’ Mary slams her hands on the table, glaring at Kat.

‘You’re not.’

‘I am.’

‘Not.’

‘Am.’

‘Not.’

‘Am.’

‘Not.’

‘How long will you keep it up?’ Catalina asks, weary amusement in her voice.

‘I can go for hours, babe,’ Kat winks at her.

‘Right in front of...your girlfriend!?!’ Mary turns to Cathy. ‘And you are okay with that??’

‘I’m not going to get into this.’ Does she love Kat? Yes. Is she in love? If not already there, she is surely falling. But is she going to get involved into whatever you would call the thing between Kat and Mary? No, thanks. She may be in love, it doesn’t suddenly make her stupid.

‘Wait.’ Mary does a double-take. ‘Are you admitting you’re dating??’

Everyone looks at them. They would have told them, right? Kat doesn’t say anything.

The lack of denial is all Mary needs. ‘This is gaslighting!’ Mary looks and sounds absolutely outraged.

‘I never denied it.’ Kat objects. ‘Just that it’s because of you.’

‘Of course it is. I got you two together.’

‘You are not even able to get two braincells together.’

‘Are you saying I'm stupid?’

‘I’m saying you don’t have a romantic bone in your body.’

‘I set you up on that movie date!’ Mary reminds her pointedly.

‘That movie made me cry!’ Kat is kind of sorry that she will never be able to discuss the beauty of that movie, and what it meant to her, with anyone else but Cathy. But she will never give Mary the satisfaction.

‘Just admit it.’ Mary cries out in exasperation.

‘Over my dead body.’

‘We can arrange that.’

[unibrowzz]

Mod (finally) reviews all 67 winners of the Eurovision Song Contest Part IV: The 1980s

Ah yes, the 80s. One of my favourite decades for music overall, and one of the only decades in Eurovision where I wouldn’t immediately jump at the chance to change most of the songs that won, the other decade being the 2000s. 

But at least with the 80s there was more quality songs per year, whereas the 2000s was mostly drivel.

I also count the 80s as being somewhat of a turning point in the contest’s history, and by that I mean it always seemed to me like it was the decade where the UK really began to stop caring. Most people know the song that won in 1985, but nobody knows what won in 1986. Everyone knows Johnny Logan won twice, but couldn’t name his second song. Everyone knows Celine Dion competed, but can’t remember if she won or what she sang. 

That and countries also started experimenting with more modern sounds and outfits towards the end. The early 80s is just an extension of the 70s I swear. 

But that’s enough of all that, how do I find the winning songs?

1980- What’s Another Year?

Country: Ireland

Artist: Johnny Logan 

Language: English

Thoughts: Ah yes, the song that makes every 50something woman in the UK and Ireland all doey-eyed and rosy cheeked as they remember back to when they were a teenager watching this on TV and drooling at the lovely looking sad Irishman singing his sorrows into the microphone.  Or that’s my experience with this song anyway. Another experience is that most vintage fans I know tend to dislike this song on the grounds of it beating out [insert song here] Everyone has their favourite from 1980 since it was honestly a pretty strong year, but even though this song isn’t my first place for that year I can still clearly see why it won. See, 1980 had a lot of pop songs, so a slow, sad song like this one was bound to stand out, whether it was popular or not. Luckily for this one, it turned out to be a popular choice. Other songs wouldn’t be so lucky… Back on track though. Like I said, this is a very sad and melancholy song with sad and melancholy lyrics, which not only made it stand out in its year, but also made it stand out amongst other Eurovision songs of its time. It’s strange to think, but at this point in the contest’s history there hadn’t been a winner with lyrics so solemn and personal. See, in modern Eurovision, every other song is the artist baring their soul about their horrible ex-boyfriend, or their depression, or past abuse, or whatever, so knowing there was a period where songs like that were so rare is just… surreal to me.

Is this my personal winner for this year? This or Greece tbh, I don’t mind this one

If no, what is? Greece- Anna Vissi- “Autostop”

Personal ranking (out of 67): 23rd

1981: Making Your Mind Up

Country: United Kingdom

Artist: Bucks Fizz

Language: English

Thoughts: Ah yes, the UK winner that nobody really likes, but the BBC still forces at us anyway because they’re proud they came up with a gimmick that everybody remembers. Or maybe it’s not that well remembered, but nobody would know that because we’re reminded of it every year. This song is… alright. Just alright. The first listen of this one is always the best, because after a while it just gets kind of annoying. The singing ESPECIALLY starts to grate you for a while. Even in the studio version the two girls sound unbearably shrill and whiny, and I’m not sure if that’s their fault or the songwriter’s (since if I remember correctly only one of them was a professional singer). I’m seriously convinced there’s no way for a female vocalist to pull this off without sounding terrible.  Again, this one’s perfectly fine and serviceable, but that doesn’t mask the fact it’s still the worst UK winner and the worst winner of the 1980s too. 

Is this my personal winner for this year? No

If no, what is? Portugal- Carlos Paião- “Playback”

Personal ranking (out of 67): 58th

1982: Ein Bißchen Frieden

Country: West Germany

Artist: Nicole

Language: German (Translation: “A little peace”)

Thoughts: This song gives me a really warm, nostalgic feeling, and I don’t know why. I mean, I know this one did well internationally, so it’s possible I just heard it as a kid, but given how I grew up in the early 2000s, “Eurovision is a shitty freak show full of weirdos from the USSR who gang up on the UK and don't vote for us on purpose” era Britain, that’s highly unlikely. Anyways, this is such a warm, fuzzy kind of song. It has a lovely… round-the-campfire, singalong kind of vibe, like this is meant to be sung by a load of long haired hippies with flowers in their hair and CND symbols drawn on their cheeks. And it’s… … Also kind of bland. If you’ve been reading my personal winners so far, you’ll have noticed I definitely have a soft spot for old German entries, so it’s a shame I find the one song they actually won with to be so… generic. It’s like they got tired of being unique so decided to send the same saccharine fluff everyone else was sending, and guess what, it paid off majorly, because this song was a huge hit at the time. Something about that kind of bothers me, like, out of all the entries they sent, it’s the one that’s the most “Eurovision-y” that ended up winning. And there’s something depressing in that.

Is this my personal winner for this year? No

If no, what is? United Kingdom- Bardo- “One Step Further”

Personal ranking (out of 67): 50th

1983: Si la vie est Cadeau

Country: Luxembourg

Artist: Corinne Hermés

Language: French (Translation: “If life were a gift”)

Thoughts: You want a tip on how to stand out amongst Eurovision fans? Say you like this song. Probably won’t make you very popular, but you’ll stand out at least. I will confess, I, too, was part of the hate-wagon for this song. Like most fans I knew, I’d complain about how boring and uninteresting it was and how it, ahem, “robbed” so many other entries, and how basic it was, et cetera, et cetera. But… honestly? It’s not even that bad. Sure I had other favourites from 1983 (the ones I could stand watching anyway, the host that year was so unimaginably terrible I gave up watching halfway through. I DARE you to watch the whole thing without wanting to neck yourself), but this song gets way more hate than it deserves. I honestly don’t think this song is half as bad as I made it out to be myself, or as bad as the fandom makes it out to be. It’s got a decent melody, some solid vocals, some appealingly 80s instrumental, like there’s a lot I like here. …Until you read the lyrics and realise they’re almost as half-assed and lazy as All Kinds of Everything’s, but I digress. Did I prefer other songs from that year? Of course. Am I going to complain about this one winning? Nah. It’s alright. 

Is this my personal winner for this year? No

If no, what is? Sweden- Carola Häggkvist- “Främling”

Personal ranking (out of 67): 41st

1984- Diggiloo, Diggiley

Country: Sweden

Artist: Herreys

Language: Swedish

Thoughts: Whenever I was a younger fan I used to describe this song as being drunk-dad-at-a-wedding-music performed by three sentient Ken dolls, and I still stand by that statement. And I don’t really know how else to describe this one. It certainly has its charm, and it’s still a likeable song, but it also feels very… vapid. Like if this song were a person, they’d be a bit of a bimbo. And I mean, the song’s about how the singer’s oh-so-happy and prancing down the street in his brand new shoes, so that’s probably a fair description. Part of me wonders if that’s down to old Eurovision songs being vapid in general or if it’s down to the schlager genre itself requiring songs to be kinda neutered and happy-go-lucky, but even though I do like this song, it does come off as being a bit bland. A bit by-the-numbers and playing-it-safe. And I don’t mind songs like that, but I’d rather they didn’t win, y’know?

Is this my personal winner for this year? Not really

If no, what is? Italy- Alice & Franco- “Il Treni di Tozeur”

Personal ranking (out of 67): 15th

1985- La det Swinge

Country: Norway

Artist: Bobbysocks

Language: Norwegian

Thoughts: Ah yes, the song which finally hauled Norway into first place after years of being a regular last-placer. Maybe the UK should take some notes instead of blaming Brexit. Or Russia. Or Iraq. Or anything other than their own apathy, for that matter. But this is about La det Swinge and not the UK, so what are my thoughts on it? Well it’s… It’s the kind of song I imagine my mom and aunt would sing at a wedding if they ever attended one. It’s a very fun song, a little cheesy, sure, but it’s hard to not like a song that’s this upbeat and cheery.  And yeah I know it’s because it’s schlager and that’s generally a really cheerful genre by default, I touched on that in the review above, 

Is this my personal winner for this year? This or Israel

If no, what is? Israel- Yizhar Cohen- “Olé Olé”

Personal ranking (out of 67): 14th

1986- J’aime la Vie

Country: Belgium

Artist: Sandra Kim

Language: French

Thoughts: This song is an enigma because I’m an absolute slut for 80s pop, yet, for some reason, I find this song painfully average and uninteresting. Now, I’ll get it off my chest and say that 1986 was also a painfully average and uninteresting year, and most of the time I just felt myself remembering the singer more than the song, and even then I struggle to remember what some of the acts even were. It was just such a boring blur of a year I’m surprised the juries even managed to stay awake to pick a winner. And I GUESS you could argue that this song is so upbeat and peppy that it woke them up, but that doesn’t excuse how bloody generic it is. Like, this is the most generic 80s song you can imagine, and not in a good way. It feels more like stock music than an actual publicly released pop song. Had it not won, I doubt it would’ve stood out to me at all; it would’ve just faded into the background with all the other muted, 80s-coloured mush from this year. Basically, there’s a reason the singer’s age is the only thing noteworthy about this song.

Is this my personal winner for this year? Not really

If no, what is? Luxembourg- Sherisse Laurence- “L’amour de ma vie”

Personal ranking (out of 67): 49th

1987- Hold me Now

Country: Ireland

Artist: Johnny Logan 

Language: English

Thoughts: Ah yes, the superior Johnny Logan winner.  And I’m not sure why everyone forgets this one because Mother of Mercy this song is in another league entirely compared to the other schlock Ireland’s won with. Like this is their best winner, no competition. One of their best songs overall as well. One of the best entries from the 80s, one of the best winners of the 80s, one of the best winners… Yeah, I really like this song.  I’ll admit to sleeping on this one for too long myself, always dismissing it as some boring Irish ballad to go with all the other boring Irish ballads they somehow managed to win with (we’ll get to that later), and always agreeing with people who said XYZ country (always Yugolslavia) should have won instead.  Basically I learnt the hard way to never judge a song on its country and genre. But one day I found myself in the midst of a revisiting trip, going back to winners I didn't pay much attention to, just to see if there was anything I’d missed the first time round. And something about the lyrics in this song resonated with me a lot more than I thought they would. In a strange way, it made me feel older; like I’d grown up and was able to relate to the words in a song and appreciate it more than I could when I was younger. The line “what do you say when words are not enough?” especially hits harder than it should; as someone with autism I tend to find showing emotions difficult, even in virtual conversation where I’m not using my voice or face, because… Well, what do you say when your words aren’t enough?

Is this my personal winner for this year? Yes

If no, what is? N/A

Personal ranking (out of 67): 2nd

1988- Ne Partez pas Sans Moi

Country: Switzerland 

Artist: Céline Dion 

Language: French

Thoughts: Telling people Céline Dion won this thing is a new favourite hobby of mine, just to see the confused reaction. And that’s the most interesting thing about this song because it’s… fine, I guess? It’s a perfectly serviceable 80s power ballad, but there’s no bells and whistles to make me sit up and declare it any better than just “okay”. It’s basically the ballad equivalent of J’aime la Vie from 1986, in that it’s extremely 80s and also in French, but there’s nothing to make it that memorable aside from the singer herself. And even then this isn’t the song that made her famous anyway. Even her singing doesn't make this one stand out, partially because the song doesn't do anything special with it, and partially because she just blends in with all the other good singers of this era. And that’s kinda sad to think about.

Is this my personal winner for this year? Hmmm....

If no, what is? Greece- Afroditi Frida- “Clown”

Personal ranking (out of 67): 22nd

1989- Rock Me

Country: Yugoslavia

Artist: Riva

Language: Croatian

Thoughts: So this is another song it really took me a while to get into (there’s lots of those, trust me) and one that was very briefly in my top three overall favourites. It’s slid down a few slots since then, though I would still say it’s… Somewhere in the top 15.  I don’t really have a lot to say about this one, if I’m honest. It’s just a good, fun, solid song which stood out in a very dull and ballad-saturated year, nothing more, nothing less. The lyrics are nice too, being about a bored musician who learns to love music again by teaching himself how to play pop songs to entertain his friends. That’s a unique subject and I can imagine it resonating with a lot of people who’ve fallen out with a hobby they used to love because they took it too seriously (providing they either speak Croatian or have looked up the lyrics, of course). I mean, it resonates with me at least. All in all, I just like this song for its message more than anything else.

Is this my personal winner for this year? No

If no, what is? Portugal- Da Vinci- “Conquistador”

Personal ranking (out of 67): 9th

[colour-outside-the-liness]

Oh wow, you two have been friends for a long time then! I know what's that like, I've known my best friend who lives in Spain since we were 8! Definitely awesome to have someone like that in your life. Are you still going to be roommates when the baby comes? And that was really thoughtful of your ex making sure you didn't travel alone.

Canada is really cold tho, so if you're okay with that you should def move there! Ah well, I'm doing better now so that's what matters, all the horrible worries I had when I lived back home are gone atm.

Yeah, that's the spirit! you can do all US states even if it takes you 43 years, that's plenty of time! hahaha And your welcome, it's one of my favourite fics.

Your mind is great, don't worry. At least something good came out of it haha.

Oh so people make her a pisces then, I see. I've met a pisces who was kinda like Dani once so that's why I said she has that kind of energy, but she def has fire on her chart too. And yeah I can see some virgo traits in her, but she's very sensitive and a bit naive so I guess pisces makes more sense.

I had to look up what a badger was hahaha never heard of them before.

I'm sorry you had to go through that. Sounds scary. And you still have to take medication bc of it. The threat of catching covid must've made that 10x worse too. And I can only hope to learn from my mistakes at the very least.

People who made thobm are fucking savages tbh hahaha. 😂 Kinda wish they had cast Oliver as Jamie like they originally intended but then we wouldn't have our damie... don't know what's worse honestly.

Oh Yorkshire accent is pretty cool too, isn't the lead singer of the Arctic Monkeys from Yorkshire? Honestly think all the language variations and different accents that come with each region are really fascinating. And that happens with all languages, not just English. Wish I could speak all languages in the world, that would be a cool superpower! I guess it makes sense you like American accents more bc it's so different from yours. I've become desensitized to North American accents just bc I hear them all the time, but I see how it would be more appealing to you.

Oooh I love that possibility of it becoming a real fic soon hahaha. Worst part of letting it cook is that I already have the finished illustration in my head but the transferring to reality part is not working rn. Wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy tbh.

You def had a busy weekend and start of the week! I have a virgo in my life rn too I know the struggle. Her birthday is this weekend in fact. I had an okay weekend thank you! Managed to catch up with that pirate AU you recommended and I'm already planning fanart for it that will probably never see the light of day haha! Are we going to have more smut this next MoU update? (need to know for scientific purposes 🔬)

Yeah we've been friends for years we met when we were 14 and are still friends now at 27 so it's been one of my longest friendships I have a friend that I met at 4 but we're not as close as we once were still really good friends but not best friends haha!! aww that's so cool that you guys have been friends for that long!! Yeah we're still gonna live together when the baby comes- we're looking for a bigger place right now to make room for the baby and her boyfriend (he still doesn't live with us yet but will soon.... *insert gif of Monica Gellar one friends saying "And now I have to live with a boy" while crying* Yeah my ex is a super thoughtful person and she just didn't want me travelling so far alone when I had never flown before because when I went to Paris with my college we drove there and went on the Eurostar and it took us 13 hours to get there but I had never flown before going to LA and I picked an 11 hour flight for my first one so she wanted someone to fly with me she's a very thoughtful person I LOVE the cold weather I am so sad right now because it's bene quite warm in the north of England I can't wait until it's like -3 degrees Celsius during the winter nights again so I am sure I would love Canada I am fine with it taking me 43 years if that's what it takes haha I just wanna hit all 50 states I think it would be so fun to do it and to be able to say I'd done it.  Haha thank you!! As long as something good comes out of it that's all I can hope for but there are times I've done things and people are like "And you're allowed to teach kids?" Like I can be really dumb sometimes haha.  Yeah I've seen a couple of fics where she has been a pisces I think with it never being said and with VP never saying what she thinks she is people have looked at her personality and matched it up to zodiac signs- a lot of the pisces I've met haven't been like Dani like I said but I do trust what people who know more about zodiac signs say because I know nothing and I just pick a random date each time so CBML she's a Leo and MoU she's a virgo and in SLS she's gonna be a Scorpio because that's just how I've done it haha but I really know nothing about zodiac signs other than what you have told me!! There different types of badgers there are honey badgers and they're more in America here we have a different type of badger and they look so cute but they are really vicious if they feel attacked or scared so try snd avoid badgers... more than that though we just have cows, geese, ducks, swans... lots of foxes but noting dangerous like bears or anything its a very boring place to live!! Yeah it is pretty scary but I just take everything one day at a time- I actually caught Covid last year because of how much time I was in the hospital having treatments for my condition I caught Covid and ended up in the hospital for a week while they had to give me loads of medication and blood transfusions and had to put me on a fluid drip because I was really dehydrated and that was really scary but luckily I was okay and now I am fully vaccinated so hopefully I won't catch it again. I think you will definitely learn from your mistakes I feel like some mistakes have to be made in life so you can grow from them Oh they were definitely savage but I love Bly Manor so much and I will watch it so many more times I can't wait for it to come out on DVD!! Like it was heart breaking but so beautiful and we got such an incredible wlw relationship from it and some great representation and I love that!! Would be interesting to see how it would've affected people had Oliver played Jamie though Yeah Alex Turner is from Sheffield which is South Yorkshire so again we have a similar accent but it's different because I am from further North but there are things that we say in a similar way because we’re from Yorkshire just different parts of Yorkshire... there are four Yorkshires: North, East, West, and South haha and all are in the north of England  Yeah I think that’s the case every where I think accents and languages are so interesting and I would love to be able to speak any other language but I only speak English in my school it wasn’t seen as being overly important to learn a language and I have tried learning them since leaving school but I struggle now  There are some American accents I love (Southern and Midwestern) so when I heard Dani speak I was like 😍🥵🥰 because I love that type of accent I have become desensitised to some American accents that are just standard ones from watching so many movies and TV shows but there are some accents that just make me do heart eyes haha  I am hoping it can become a real fic soon but I am struggling with some stuff but keeping hopeful with it!! Awwh no I’m sorry it’s so hard for you I hope it gets better soon that you’re able to get it onto a page!!  I have had such a busy weekend and part of the week had a bit of a busy day today too and looking after my niece again tomorrow not rest for me it would seem but it’s fine I don’t mind keeping busy!! Well happy birthday to her I hope she has a great day!!  Oh yay I’m glad had an okay weekend and that you were able to catch up on the pirate AU and that you already have fan art planned for it- even if no one ever sees that fanart!! No there is no smut in this chapter of MoU some implied smut but no actual smut- there will probably be smut in chapter 9 though because y’know... it’s me haha 😂 

[80s-roger]

Not On My Watch - pt2

Pairing: Dad!Roger and Mum!Reader

note: part two is here and embrace yourselves for the next one! Reminding that R/N means random name and also if you find my syntax or my voc messy and poor, that's because english is not my first language and I don't remember that many proficiency-level words :) enjoy

summary: you’re divorced with queen’s roger taylor due to constant cheating and irrational behaviour towards you. but u have one person in common: your daughter, Laura aka your favourite human on earth. Your marriage with roger had its ups and downs but laura was the happiness in it. Now that she’s 8 and starts to realise how your terms with roger are, you finally tell her that you’re seeing another man except her father and she took it really warmly. She seemed excited to meet the new man unlikely your ex-husband who accidentally learns about it by Laura, the weekend you would leave her at his place: on weekends you had some cute getaways with R/N because the court decided that Laura could stay or visit her dad on weekends and stay with him for five days each Christmas and Easter vacations. On summers he has the right to be with her for two weeks.

masterlist // part one // dialogue prompts

warnings: ehm nothing I guess

words: 2,458

taglist: @madeinheavxn @stacymaytaylor (if u want to be tagged just dm me :) )

Roger couldn't sleep after finding out you were living your life. He believed you would stay focused on Laura instead of fixing your love life. But jokes on him. You aren't committing any crime, don't feel guilty about it. He didn't even know how jealous he can be of you. Laura was with him, they spent a very productive weekend together. Freddie visited them and now he knows too. Roger opened up to his friend.

"She sleeps with that asshole, how can she do that?" He was furious. Laura was playing at the grass while the two friends were sitting at the garden's saloon.

"Pardon me Rog, but she does that with her will. She probably likes that man. Let her." Freddie got your back and that's what he is supposed to do because in this situation Roger is wrong.

"But Laura is too young to meet another man as a stepfather." He attempted to defend himself with his daughter.

"Laura also didn't have to listen to your daily fights before the divorce. Remind me, who was responsible?" Fred mocked him.

"Yes, I know. I'm not bragging for cheating on her, you know how tour life and being a rock star is." Roger explained but Freddie stopped him.

"John's also touring and he lives the rock star life but he's a family man and his heart is always home. Why aren't you like him?" Freddie was right. But Roger wouldn't accept it. He's arrogant.

"I'm not John. Okay?" He looked at Laura while she was playing. "But I love Laura with my entire heart. I don't like it when I can't see her more often..." His face was sad now.

"You could talk to Y/N about it," Freddie suggested.

"She would probably forbid me to see my kid after telling her." He giggled but deep down he believed it.

"Ah don't be ridiculous, she doesn't have the right as long as you give financial support every month for Laura." Freddie laughed but then they stopped talking because they heard your car. "Is s-she here? So early? It's not ten yet." Freddie asked and checked his watch.

"This bitch is really doing it on purpose. I will be right back." Roger got furious and stood up, to go inside his house and invite you in. Laura didn't notice a thing.

Roger opened the front door and what he saw wasn't the best thing in the world. You had the nerve to come with your new partner. Just to make him more jealous than he was all weekend. He turned red. He couldn't talk.

"Is Laura ready?" You asked ignoring his state of mind.

"No, she has no idea you're here. You were supposed to pick her up four hours later.". Roger crossed his arms and stared at the man next to you. A brunette tall man with nice muscles and a nice smile. But he is not Roger.

"Indeed, we just arrived earlier than we expected. Now call Laura, we have to go." You had to be really cold towards him or else you would break down and you didn't want that. You love him so much but you can't be with him. It doesn't work.

"Stop doing this. Fucking stop." Roger was going crazy. He destroyed you but you destroy him more.

"Stop what? I want my child." You arrogantly moved your shoulders.

"You can't keep me away from her as much as you want it. I have four hours left with her, you have to let me spend them with her. I'll bring her to your home." He tried to sound calm but his voice was trembling.

"Are you sure?" You asked confused.

"Yes, you don't have to shove your boyfriend right into my face. He's nice, but not your type." He laughed and that made you uncomfortable.

"Yo, stop disrespecting her or I'll beat you. She has told me stories about you. You're a high-quality rock star but a low-quality husband. Too pity." The brunette man said, trying to defend you but that made things worse. Roger and R/N would beat each other in front of you and the high-class neighbourhood.

"What the hell, stop you two right now. R/N get in the car. I'm coming." You got in the middle trying to stop the tension between these two. The man heard your order and waited for you at the car. "You are such a wanker." Your face was too close to his. There was eye contact again.

"Oh I won't be tonight." He winked and looked at R/N who wasn't looking at you two.

"What do you mean?" You asked confused. "You're supposed to bring Laura home."

"Of course I will. But not without getting what I want." He quickly checked on R/N and without hesitation, he stole a fast kiss from you.

"Fuck off, Roger!" You said and left without saying any other word. Neither Roger nor R/N. He's such a player. You like it.

Roger walked at the garden again, Freddie was showing the flowers to Laura and she looked curious trying to understand each name of a flower. Now that Freddie noticed Roger's figure he walked at him.

"What happened?" He asked.

"She literally brought that asshole to my door." Roger was shaken.

"Wow, did she? What about Laura?"

"I'll drive her at Y/N's." He seemed thoughtful and Fred noticed it.

"What are you thinking?" He asked. "Oh dear, don't tell me you're thinking of-" Fred couldn't believe Roger would invade that way.

"Why not? She just gave me a reason to do it. She still loves me and I know it. Her words mean nothing to me." He looked at his friend, searching for any advice.

"Make sure she'll accept it, or if she resists and tries to stop you, fucking stop, apologise and leave." He had a point. Fred knows about how you two met and how it ended.

Later

"I want to stay a little more daddy..." Laura whined as Roger helped her tie her shoes.

"So do I, but your mommy wants you to go home." He looked her into her same coloured eyes.

"This is my home too, isn't it?" She was sad.

"Of course it is, baby. But you have to grow up a little to decide in whose place you want to stay." Roger explained.

"I love my mum but I want to be with you, we don't spend much time together and I feel sad about it." She leaned towards his shoulder, hugging him tightly. The same thing happens every Sunday night. Roger was emotional after what his girl just said.

"I know but we do call each other every day, I'm not that far." He tried to comfort her as they got in his car.

"You are daddy, you're not with mum. I mean, I'm happy she found R/N but I prefer my family. In one house." Her voice lowered a bit. Roger didn't answer regardless of how much he wanted to.

"Here we are baby." Roger broke the silence after the drive. He carried the bags for her and they took the lift to reach your flat, on the third floor. "Do you know if R/N is at your home now?" He asked his daughter.

"I didn't saw his car, I don't know..." she negatively shook her head.

"It's okay." He smiled at her and here he was. In front of your door. Scared.

"Mum! I'm home!" Laura knocked on the door and Roger heard your footsteps and your laugh. He melted at the sound of it.

"Welcome home baby! Give me a hug!" You opened your arms to hold her tight. "I missed you." You looked at her being safe and sound.

Roger was constantly looking inside the living room and the kitchen, searching for the other man's figure. Until Laura spoke.

"Mum, is R/N here?" She asked.

"No, he left earlier, but he got you a present!" you smiled at her but she didn't look excited about. "What's wrong?" You asked her.

"Can daddy come inside? Please, mommy?" She begged you to bring your ex-husband in the house. You and Roger looked at each other with your blood freezing. That was fully unexpected.

"Honey, he is busy tonight... He is making music with uncle Fred, Deaky and Bri." You tried to kick him out of your house with the kindest way possible.

"Please mum, as a family..." she was sad when she said the word family. Poor her, she's only eight and has to go through this. You put your ego aside and listened to your daughter's wish.

"Baby, you don't have to press your mum if she doesn't want me inside." No, you do want him inside the house or in you.

"No, it's okay, you can come in..." you stood up again and made way for Roger to come in. He gave you a sweet kiss on your cheek before closing the door and leaving his jacket next to it.

"Yey!" Laura shouted fully excited.

"But baby, you have to get to sleep in a little. You have school tomorrow!" You walked with her at the bathroom trying to help her with her night routine.

"I know mum, but I will sleep happily tonight knowing you and dad will keep me company." She smiled at you. She's so happy.

"I'm happy you feel this way." You kissed her cheek.

Meanwhile, Roger was in the kitchen fixing drinks for the two of you. He was silent, supervising the room. There was nothing related to him. Or at least he thought. He was sitting at the balcony now, enjoying the view. West London looks so good by night. He was waiting for you.

"Goodnight baby I love you." You said to Laura before closing her room's door. You passed the kitchen, searching for Roger's figure but not any luck. You felt a warm breeze coming from the living room and you saw him outside the balcony.

"Oh, there you are." He smiled, offering your drink.

"Oh, thanks, guess I need it." You nodded as you were staring at the glass.

"I fixed us some drinks just for a chilling situation. How come needing a drink? I mean, you barely touched them." You both sat at the bamboo chairs your balcony has. Roger was into a conversation with you. And so did you, you really wanted to exchange dialogue. You felt so lonely.

"I don't really think you're the ideal person to talk to right now but I'll settle." You raised your shoulders as your eyes focused at the city's lights.

"I'm all ears, are you okay?" He asked after drinking.

"I bet you're wondering why R/N is not here right?" You turned your body at his side, now facing each other. Just a table beside you.

"To be honest, I am. Is this why you're not okay?" He was confused. But also curious to find out.

"Not that it's your business but I don't let him stay here. Not when Laura is here." You started.

"So? That's what you have to do. Neither do I bring women at my house when she's around." He kind of interrupted you, but you weren't in the mood.

"Not this time Roger, please. If you want to argue with me, just leave." You slightly closed your eyes, showing how tired you felt.

"Okay, I'm sorry. Did R/N do anything? Shall I intervene?" He asked as his hand tried to reach yours.

"No. He was so furious after visiting your place. I guess it's my fault. He felt I was taking advantage of him all this time so you'd be jealous b-but I date him a long time without you knowing." You briefly explained the issue.

"So what happened?" Roger asked looking thoughtful.

"He insisted on staying at my place tonight but I obviously refused. I've explained to him that I can't present him to Laura yet. Not until that diner." You exclaimed.

"So he kinda left forever?"

"No, I reckon it was a disagreement and he'll call tomorrow. But I think he insisted on staying here so you wouldn't appear tonight." You figured out why you guys fought before Roger came at your place with your child.

"Whether I'm here or not, he has to respect your decision. Probably he's jealous." He giggled at the last sentence as he finished his drink. His fingers tried to reach yours, trying to play with them or caress them.

"Jealous of what?" You questioned in confusion. "I'm a divorced mother." The title got you into your feelings. You never wanted to be divorced. Let alone with a child.

"Whose husband tries to reach her." He smiled and oh god, you had to be looking him that moment.

"Why? We ended it in bad terms. We even fight after ending it." You stated.

"I don't care. I can't stay away from you and Laura." His hand covered yours. Your eyes were focusing on his action.

Feeling this kind of pressure, you walked inside trying to calm down. Your heart was pounding fast. You went inside your bathroom, covering your face with some cold water. "Stop overthinking about it Y/N... Relax. He's your man. You love him, he's not a stranger, right?" You whispered to yourself as you tried to catch a breath.

Meanwhile, Roger went into your bedroom, checking out the place if there's anything that belongs to him. Kinda. At your nightstand, there was a frame of him, you and Laura. The day she was born. Roger seemed to be emotional at the sight of the family photo. At the parlour, there was a photo album, recently touched and seen. Photos of him and you when you were dating awakens his huge desire to make love to you. "There's still hope in this mess." He whispered to himself and rushed to the bathroom waiting for you to come out.

You came out looking fresh and calm. There was intense eye contact, a long-lasting one. His hand tried to reach yours but instead, it caught your buttcheeks because you climbed on him with your legs around his waist and your lips against his.

"I fucking missed you." You moaned between your passionate kiss.

"So did I." He said back and walked through your bedroom and gently closed the door with his feet. "I want to make love to you so bad. Please let me." He begged when he gently placed you on bed's pillows.

"Make me love." Your voice was smooth and passionate. You were ready to feel him again, you were craving for it.

TO BE CONTINUED!1!1

[nerianasims]

Billboard #1s 1986

Under the cut.

Dionne & Friends -- "That's What Friends Are For" -- January 18, 1986

While listening to this song, I think it's a very squishy ballad with a nice sentiment that's not for me but is tolerable. Until a certain point. That point is when Elton John has his big part. Dionne Warwick, Stevie Wonder, Gladys Knight: Great, amazing, I love them, and though their talents are wasted on a song this slight, they make it listenable. Elton John's talents are not wasted on a song this slight. Couldn't they have brought in someone else? There's no way Prince would do something like this, but what about Paul McCartney? Kenny Loggins? Billy Ocean? I guess George Michael was too young for the song's schtick. But I'd take even Lionel Richie over Elton John.

Whitney Houston -- "How Will I Know" -- February 15, 1986

Whitney Houston was an amazing, phenomenally talented singer. And she oversang. Almost all the time. She didn't have to; she knew how to sing with subtlety and grace. But oversinging was (and is) popular, so that's what she did. It means I don't like most of her songs, including this one.

Mr. Mister -- "Kyrie" -- March 1, 1986

I'm not Christian any more, but one can pull inspiration from anywhere. I love the phrase "kyrie eleison." There's something beautiful about that combination of sounds, and there's also something beautiful about the sentiment. The music does not live up to it, unfortunately, though the opening is gorgeous. It also gets super repetitive at the end. It's pretty good, but I want it to be great, and sadly it is not.

Starship -- "Sara" -- March 15, 1986

I'm going to have to listen to "White Rabbit" a dozen times to cleanse this from my brain. A band that used to do stuff like that devolving into making this garbage is extremely depressing. This song starts with music box tinkling which sounds nice. Then saxophone over it which... okay. Just the sax would have been nice, but over the music box it's a little much, but I can keep going with it. Then they add a harmonica layered over it, and it's like I'm listening to a parody of mid-80s easy listening. And then randomly there's a drum crash and the weak voice of this guy comes in along with massive synth, and I start to wonder if I'm being punked. Are we sure this song wasn't a joke?

Heart -- "These Dreams" -- March 22, 1986

I watched the video probably hundreds of times when I was a kid. (On Betamax!) I adore this song. I got to it and went well, this is gonna win 1986, because there's only so much rational distance I can take from what was my favorite pop song when I was 9 years old. This song didn't start my Romantic sensibility, but it spoke to what was already in bloom. "There's something out there I can't resist." We'll see what else is on the list.

Falco -- "Rock Me Amadeus" -- March 29, 1986

I love the movie Amadeus, even though it constitutes a massive slander against poor Salieri. It gets Mozart pretty spot-on though. And I always loved classical music, was surrounded by it from infancy, so I was glad to see its popularity spread by the movie. (Yes, at age nine. I've always been a huge nerd.) This song is really fun and well-made too, though of course I can't understand any of the German lyrics.

Prince -- "Kiss" -- April 19, 1986

Prince sings this almost entirely in falsetto, so one would guess I would hate it, since falsetto usually sends me running in the other direction. One would be wrong. I adore it. Prince was that kind of artist -- he could get away with anything. He was notoriously arrogant, but was it really arrogance when it was just a proper conception of his own abilities? Anyway,

of course "you don't have to be cool to rule my world" deeply spoke to my experiences. I was the most uncool girl in school. Until high school, when somehow my not giving a damn about being cool (as I'd failed at it my whole life) actually helped me.

Also when Prince drops to a low note on the last "kiss," it is incredibly hot.

Robert Palmer -- "Addicted to Love" -- May 3, 1986

I have no idea what I'd think of this song without the video. The video infuriates me. The clone-looking emotionless women aren't "sexualized." No, you have to be treated like a human being on at least some level for that. They are purely objectified, treated literally as blank interchangeable things, with nothing at all inside them. The song is skeevy anyway, though I guess the music's good. But blech.

Pet Shop Boys -- "West End Girls" -- May 10, 1986

I've never liked this song and I've never really understood why. It's the kind of song I felt I should like. But I've always felt (since I noticed it as a teenager) that there was something missing. Now I know why: According to the Stereogum article about it, the band leader doesn't like rock n'roll, and is a pop critic. Oh. Some rock is exactly what this song needs. Without it, it's too cold and removed, and to me sounds smug. Also how can you be a pop critic and not like rock n' roll? That is a wrongness.

Whitney Houston -- "Greatest Love of All" -- May 17, 1986

Whitney Houston doesn't oversing on this song as much as usual, so that's good. Though she still oversings. What's not good are the music and lyrics. The music is bland as can be. Lyrically, it starts with "I believe the children are our future" and there's a verse about "the beauty they possess inside." Blargh.

Then after the first verse there's a total change in theme, going into how the narrator never found anyone to look up to. And that the "greatest love" is loving yourself and only depending on yourself and no one else. I despise this sentiment deep in my bones. Not of loving yourself -- though the song claims that's "easy to achieve," which is bollocks of the first order. Rather that you should only depend on yourself. That's literally inhuman. We are social creatures; without depending on each other, we are adrift in nothingness. So yeah. I hate this song.

Madonna -- "Live to Tell" -- June 7, 1986

This song gives me chills. The music is gorgeous and perfectly suited to the lyrics. I listened to the "True Blue" tape many, many times from about age 10 until, um. Well, I listened to the album on Spotify the other night. This song is the standout for me on it. I always thought that Madonna was singing about having been emotionally abused as a child herself. That is apparently not it at all; it's a song for a movie soundtrack. But to me it's about familial abuse. And always has been. It felt like she was singing for me. "The light that you could never see/ It shines inside, you can't take that from me."

Patti LaBelle & Michael McDonald -- "On My Own" -- June 14, 1986

Not the Les Miz song, sadly. It's about how the narrators are breaking up. Patti LaBelle is great, but I am so bored. Michael McDonald isn't bad, but he can't match Patti LaBelle, and even she can't stop this song from being deadly dull. It took me like 5 tries to be able to listen to the whole thing.

Billy Ocean -- "There'll Be Sad Songs (To Make You Cry)" -- July 5, 1986

What makes someone decide to put a parenthetical in a song title? Is there a formula? Anyway, he's singing (in his head) to someone he wants to be with. The "sad songs" are not actually supposed to be sad songs, it seems, but love songs that make him think of her. I guess. I don't know. Something about this song is turning my brain to mush. The tinkly parts and the violins are nice I guess. But I'm going to fall asleep at my desk if I try to listen to this song any more.

Simply Red -- "Holding Back the Years" -- July 12, 1986

Just looking at the lyrics, this song should be deeply depressing. He feels that so far his life has been a waste, but somehow he'll "keep holding on." There's a beautiful saxophone part. The song is not depressing -- it's Blues. It's terribly sad and cathartic at the same time. I'm not thrilled with Mick Hucknall's voice though.

Genesis -- "Invisible Touch" -- July 19, 1986

I did not pay attention to any of the lyrics of this song except the chorus until just now. I thought it was about a woman with an "invisible touch" whom people fall for left and right, and that's true. What I did not know was that she was supposed to be doing it on purpose. Which, okay, sort of like "Maneater"? Except no, because "Well I don't really know her, I only know her name." Then how do you know this about her?! He sounds like a stalker. Or this sounds like a first draft. The music is good enough, and the chorus could make for a good song around it lyrically, if they had bothered with that.

Peter Gabriel -- "Sledgehammer" -- July 26, 1986

I used to think this song was meant to be about a guy who was going to basically tank for you (and also have sex with you.) Well, apparently he wants to solve only one of your problems in particular: namely, that of your lacking orgasms. The "sledgehammer" is supposed to be a metaphor for his dick. Ow? Whatever, I'm going with my own interpretation of it. I like the beginning flute part, which is actually from a keyboard demo. It's a fun song, but it gets pretty repetitive.

Peter Cetera -- "Glory of Love" -- August 2, 1986

"We did it all for the glory of love" is a sentiment I usually adore. But this song is a limp dishrag. Did what for the glory of love? Why does she seem to be thinking of leaving him? And Peter Cetera being "the man who will fight for your honor" is a hilarious idea. His voice is nasally and he sounds like a faker. He comes off as someone who only vaguely understands the small-r romance of flowers and chocolates, and not at all as someone who understands the Romance of a castle far away. Bryan Adams did much better with this kind of thing in the 90s.

Madonna -- "Papa Don't Preach" -- August 16, 1986

The article I'm reading about this says there was a controversy over this song regarding abortion somehow, with left-wingers being upset that the narrator didn't consider it and right-wingers praising her for keeping the baby. Maybe in California. That is not what I remember in Michigan, and I do clearly remember a controversy. What I remember is right-wingers being absolutely incensed that Madonna was singing about the pregnancy of an unmarried young woman (or teenager, though I always felt the narrator was college-age) at all. I also remember one on the radio being angry that this working class girl was keeping her baby rather than giving it up to a rich family.

It is a really good song. Actually it is kinda Romantic. The narrator's in a dramatic life-changing situation, she has to choose whether or not to marry a guy before she's sure she's ready, and there are intense violins. Her father disapproves of her boyfriend, but she needs her father's advice. She's also not ashamed. She's in a difficult situation, but there's no guilt. Good. And this is what made so many people so angry with Madonna, and what was so deeply important about Madonna. She refused to even pretend to be guilty about sex in her music, ever.

Steve Winwood -- "Higher Love" -- August 30, 1986

I think this is about wanting to believe in a god. But then there's "I could make the sun shine from pure desire." Maybe it's about Aphrodite. Chaka Khan sings on this song, and she's obviously the best thing about it. It's not great, but it's enjoyable enough.

Bananarama -- "Venus" -- September 6, 1986

Speaking of higher loves. Bananarama are obviously having a wonderful time singing this 80s dance version of this song, and who wouldn't? The "she's got it" of the song of course also means "I've got it", hence "I'm your Venus." And Bananarama leans into that in a really fun way. It's a great version of a great song.

Berlin -- "Take My Breath Away" -- September 13, 1986

This is the big love ballad from Top Gun. I have managed to escape ever seeing Top Gun, though I've picked up some ideas about it. Mainly that it's a commercial for the U.S. air force, that Tom Cruise looks blank in it a lot, and that there's some kind of volleyball scene. Before I knew it was a commercial for the U.S. air force and therefore avoided it, I avoided it because of Tom Cruise. He has always been a total cold shower to me. As I've said since I started noticing these things (which was right around 1986), he reminds me of a Ken doll.

So the song. It sounds more like it belongs with a fantasy movie than in a modern military movie. Though I guess Top Gun is a fantasy too. But not the kind in which people usually look through hourglasses. It's a big, emotional ballad. I like it but I don't love it. If it weren't associated with Top Gun possibly I'd like it more.

Huey Lewis and the News -- "Stuck With You" -- September 20, 1986

This is a middle-aged man singing to his middle-aged wife about how he's "happy to be stuck with you." It's like if dad jokes became sentient and got married. It's cute and bouncy, and honestly pretty true-to-life. You can't be all higher love all the time.

Janet Jackson -- "When I Think of You" -- October 11, 1986

If "Nasty" had gotten to #1, it would have taken my "best of the year" spot. Sadly, it didn't, and this was Janet Jackson's first #1. "When I Think of You" is a really good song though. Janet Jackson is the best of the Jacksons and always was in every way. I think she was even a better dancer than Michael. (I don't know about "is", considering her age, but she's still a better artist.) "When I Think of You" is a very simple love song lyrically. When her "world gets crazy," she thinks of you to calm down. If this were easy listening, it would be unbearable. But it's a dance song, and a fun one. There's some great bass and interesting syncopation.

Cyndi Lauper -- "True Colors" -- October 25, 1986

This is such a beautiful song. It's helped me through some rough times ever since it came out -- the tape it's on was one of my first. It's straightforward in both lyrics and music, so there's not much to say about it besides that it's a great song.

Boston -- "Amanda" -- November 8, 1986

I am listening to this song now, and I don't recognize it. When they get to the chorus near the end it sounds kinda familiar, but I'm not sure that's because I recognize this song in particular, or because it sounds like every song like this in existence was put in a blender and this is the resulting slurry. Either this wasn't played on the radio much where I lived, or I changed the channel as soon as it was. It wants to be a power ballad, but it's an absolute nothing.

The Human League -- "Human" -- November 22, 1986

I guess it's an apology song, but "I'm only human" doesn't sit right with me as a real apology for something truly bad. He cheated on her. Which I do consider forgivable, depending on the circumstances and apology, but his is that she wasn't around so he was driven to cheat on her. And he should forgive her because he's "only human." Then the woman comes in and says she cheated on him too when they were apart, because she's human too. That makes the song tolerable. Maybe they need an open relationship. They still both sound whiny. And I don't like the music. It's boring and repetitive.

Bon Jovi -- "You Give Love a Bad Name" -- November 29, 1986

SHOT THROUGH THE HEART! AND YOU'RE TO BLAME! I love this song. Also I thought Jon Bon Jovi was hot at the time, though nowadays that 80s perm is hilarious. His voice is still hot though (so is he nowadays, grey hair and all, with his more contemporary haircut.) This song got plenty of radio play. Still does. And deserves it. It's technically a heartbreak song I suppose, but the video gets it right: It's Bon Jovi goofing around on stage in front of a joyous crowd. I love the bass, I love the guitars, and I did mention Jon Bon Jovi's voice is hot, right? Voices over looks every time for me, though both together is obviously welcome.

Peter Cetera and Amy Grant -- "The Next Time I Fall" -- December 6, 1986

Christian fundies had a deep and abiding hatred for Peter Cetera. Maybe they still do. I encountered this multiple times online over the years, and finally looked it up -- it's because of this song. Amy Grant used to be a singer of Christian music only. Then she had a pop hit with this dweeb, and certain usual suspects decided she was being corrupted by him.

The only way this song could corrupt anyone is if they started smashing things because they were so bored. The narrators have been heartbroken but are gonna try it again with each other, and it's as passionless as possible. Amy Grant's a better singer than Cetera by a ways, as she does not sing through her nose, but it's not like anyone could elevate this sludge.

Bruce Hornsby and the Range -- "The Way It Is" -- December 13, 1986

People are racist and treat poor people like shit. And people say that's just the way it is, but don't you believe them. This is true. We have come incredibly far, and things change. It's a good sermon, but as a song it's too simplistic for me, both musically and lyrically. I agree with the sentiment, but it's not a song I really want to listen to either.

The Bangles -- "Walk Like an Egyptian" -- December 20, 1986

Of course I loved this song when I was a kid, all the kids did. But I was already a Bangles fan. I had their first tape, which is their best and has the least pop sheen. I would prefer "Hero Takes a Fall" had been a big hit, but oh well. "Walk Like an Egyptian" is still fun.

BEST OF 1986 -- "These Dreams" by Heart  WORST OF 1986 -- "Sara" by Starship