#insane ramblings or perhaps the truth

[blazehedgehog]

Physical or digital media?

I would be a 100% physical media person if I could help it.

There are too many stories of games getting delisted for licensing or whatever. A developer pays for a celebrity likeness or a top 40 song or a specific model of car and five years later, whoops! The rights expired! The game goes poof. It's like it never existed. Doesn't matter how good or bad the game was.

And keep in mind, even a bad game is going to be somebody's favorite, and they deserve a way to still experience it.

If you have a disc, that disc is forever (within reason). If it's a digital game, it gets deleted from that reality. Literally deleted. I bought Forza Horizon 3 on PC a few years ago because Microsoft had the foresight to warn people when it was getting delisted. And thankfully, the servers are still up, and Microsoft says they are, at least for now, committed to letting you redownload delisted games that you paid for.

But that won't always be the case, and it's already happening that some games can permanently disappear. The Wii Shop Channel is gone now. All those Virtual Console games, all those WiiWare titles, if you missed your shot to download it from Nintendo, it's gone now. Doesn't matter how much you paid. If you connect that console to the internet all you'll have is an error message. The clock is also ticking on the 3DS and Wii U eShops, which are slated to close at the end of this month.

Stadia, in its entirety, is gone. Most (not all) of those games are available on other platforms... but if you bought it on Stadia, you will have to buy it again somewhere else, and hope that one day, that too does not also go down.

There are always gestures of preservation efforts made by the community. And I'm thankful for those. The Wii Shop Channel is gone, but all of those games have been backed up by pirates years ago. Believe me, I'm no stranger to the methods used to play games like Castlevania ReBirth or Fast Racing League, which died on the Wii Shop and have never been ported anywhere else to this day.

But there are a lot of assumptions made in things like that which may not have practical solutions. Like, how many of you reading this blog have ever tried to emulate an original Xbox game on the PC? Microsoft only lets you access a small percentage of the Xbox library through their official backwards compatibility, but what if you want to venture outside of that?

It's not an easy process. Compatibility is a mess, system requirements are all over the place, and you have to get very specific dumps to even get the games to boot at all, assuming they can actually run. Yes, the data has been preserved, but it's not worth much when you can't do anything with it or need to spend $1500 on a PC good enough to run the emulation software.

It will always be easier to own the disc and throw it in the original hardware. A lot of Sega Saturn emulation still isn't an especially easy thing to run smoothly unless you have an above average gaming PC. I'd have to spend at least $300-$400 just to upgrade my system's CPU, but a couple years ago I spent $110 on a RetroTink2x Pro and I can hook my real hardware up to that just fine.

But even that's becoming it's own problem, because all of the greasy collectors have been moving in for years now and driving prices up on even the cheapest, most recent trash. The aftermarket is all but disappearing -- up through the launch of the PS4, it used to be you could find PS2 games for pennies. Now used prices seem to stay pretty much lock step with retailer MSRP (that's the price you pay for brand new shrinkwrapped games, kids). You might be lucky to find newer games on Ebay for a couple bucks off, but it's not like it used to be.

There are more and more and more stories about grifters like WATA coming in and "officially grading" retro games to be fake collector's items, leading to awful headlines like a copy of Super Mario 64, one of the most ubiquitous and common N64 games ever made, selling for a million dollars. That's like selling a bucket of tap water for a million dollars.

Buying physical is becoming a landmine because it's feeling like if you wait too long then you're at the mercy of scalpers and grifters and "collectors" who think they can throw a loose cart of Super Mario 64 up on Ebay and get $50-$70 for it.

A part of me wants to slap on a tinfoil hat and say that this was a plan. Ten years ago, the used games market was the enemy for a corporation like Microsoft, because it was a method to get dirt cheap games without any of that money going to them.

And though they backed off from that after it publicly damaged the Xbox brand, they are still pushing very, very, very hard to move everything to digital where the used games market does not exist. The next generation of Xbox after the one we're on right now probably won't come with a disc drive at all for how much they push the all-digital Series S in the marketing.

How do you hurry that along? Turn the used games market in to "the collector's market" where those old games like Halo 2 are much more expensive and much less convenient than just buying a digital copy of The Master Chief Collection for $20 on the Xbox Store.

And make no mistake, it is more convenient. Speaking as someone who has moved into smaller and smaller spaces over the last seven years, there comes a very real moment where you have to get rid of pieces of your life. Being able to plug a single box in and have my 18 year old Steam account with 1500+ games certainly seems a lot more comforting on the surface than having to lug five tubs of plastic cartridges and game discs around everywhere I go.

But what if the unthinkable happens, and Steam shuts down some day? I cannot reliably back up 1500 PC games. What if it gets stolen tomorrow and I can't get access back? Is convenient always better? Like, yeah, somebody could break in and steal my retro games, too, but that's a lot harder to do than breaking into my Steam account.

And this isn't even touching on the complications of ownership rights, and how certain businesses are trying to redefine what it means to be a "service" because that allows them to bypass the ownership laws meant to protect people like you and me.

The reality is, because of space, price, and availability concerns, I only really buy physical games if they're meaningfully important to me. And if they're important to me to own on a disc, I usually end up buying them digitally too, just for the convenience of digital. The Xbox 4 might not have a disc drive but I'll still be able to play the digital copy of Sonic Unleashed on it some day, while also being able to pop that same disc in my old 360, assuming it still works.

There are forces at work here and as always their goals are to take more and more and more of our money away from us. They have discovered a lot of great ways to do that. Buying physical is getting to be almost a matter of protest at this point.

[r0mantic-f00l]

(again, not happy with this one but I just finished an over 2k chapter for soleil et lune and I'm tired so 😭)

jealous remus is one of my weak spots 😩

happy valentines day!

Interfering with a Love Life

The pub was cramped, every corner, every table filled with people as chatter and laughter deafened the music playing through the speakers. Drunk old men sat at the bar and bothered the poor, exhausted barkeep who had half an hour left in his shift, his eyes flicking to the clock every 5 minutes as the old men roared with laughter.

Remus was staring at you, sneaky with his gaze as he watched you smile, giggle, joke and talk; he only looked away when you glanced at him briefly, sipping his beer as he pretended to listen to James rambling to Peter about just how difficult Quidditch could be.

Sirius was at the bar himself, flirting with the man next to him to get free drinks (Remus always rolled his eyes, but Sirius always ended up walking away with free drinks for everyone at the table).

Lily was talking to you about wedding dress shopping, Remus quite invested into the conversation as he listened to you gush about how a sweetheart neckline (whatever that was) and perhaps a mermaid dress (he wondered if that was even a thing) would look amazing on the red-haired girl.

A couple minutes later, Sirius finally walked over with a round of drinks in his hands, passing them out to everyone.

"God, that bloke was such a creep." He murmured, digging into Marlene's bag for a cigarette pack.

"Uh, Sirius, you got me a cider." Remus complained, lifting the bottle so Sirius could see the lable.

"So?"

"So I don't like ciders."

"You don't like ciders?" You asked, bewildered at his taste.

"Yeah, I think they're too sweet." He shrugged.

You took the cider bottle away from him and smiled as you drank a sip.

"More for me, then."

Remus rolled his eyes, smiling as he did so, and he stood up from his chair, taking his jacket off and placing it on the chair, establishing his claim as he checked his jeans' pockets for money.

"Right, I'm going to the bar. Does anyone want anything?"

Everyone shook their heads and said no, Remus walking over to the bar as Sirius lit up his cigarette, ignoring Marlene's scolds as James gagged at his 'disgusting' habit.

Remus ordered a beer, to which the barmaid had to run down to change the keg, leaving the man standing there as he leaned against the wooden counter.

Another man had walked up next to him, same age as Remus, maybe a tad bit older, as he ordered an old-fashioned from the other barkeep, leaning in the same way Remus did against the bar.

"Oi," The man had attempted to get Remus' attention, quite rudely, but nevertheless Remus turned to face him.

"You having a good night?" The man attempted to make small talk, tapping his fingers against the wood as he grinned at Remus.

"Yeah." He replied, just wanting to be left alone.

"Oh, good. Listen, that girl you're with, over there?" The man had pointed to you over his shoulder.

"Yeah?"

"I was wondering if she's single."

The barmaid had replaced the keg, it seemed, as she handed Remus his cold glass of beer. He gripped onto it strongly, sighing as he reminded himself to be calm and tell the truth. You weren't dating, much to his dismay. Why should he interfere with your love life?

"No, she isn't."

Apparently, Remus decided to interfere with your love life that night. 

"Oh. Who's she with?"

"This really strong guy, he's also got insane anger issues."

"Oh yeah?" The man tilted his head.

"Yeah."

"Well, I don't see him anywhere." The man grinned, taking a sip of his whiskey whilst Remus' jaw clenched.

"Well he's here."

"Really?"

"Yeah, and if he knew that you were talking like this, he wouldn't hesitate to punch you across your face and kick the living shit out of you."

The man chuckled. "Trust me, he wouldn't get a chance to try."

It was as if the stars aligned when you walked up to Remus and wrapped your hands around his arm.

"Remmy, why are you taking so long?" You whined, clearly a bit tipsy as you rested your head on his shoulder.

"Are you missing me?" He grinned, finding humour in the man's suddenly afraid expression.

"Yeah, Siri and James are being stupid and the girls are talking about going to Vegas, and I just wanna go to bed." You yawned, closing your eyes against Remus' arm as he chuckled and shifted his arm around your shoulder so you could rest your head against his chest.

"Okay, I'm coming back now." He grabbed his beer and smirked at the man who gulped and looked away from his intimidating stare whilst the two of you walked away.

"I heard you by the way." You mumbled.

"You did? 

"Yeah," You looked up at him and grinned.

"It's nice having such a protective boyfriend."

Remus repricated your grin, and ruffled your hair.

"It's nice having such a beautiful girlfriend."

You blushed, though you hid your face in his chest.

The next morning, you woke up with your head on Remus' bare chest as he twirled your hair between his fingers, staring at you with tired eyes and a smile on his face.

[mondaymelon]

Random question:

How much do you love Xiao?

oh

you

you do not know

how long i have been waiting for this question.

anon. you have barely seen the surface of my love for him. it cant be called love, at this point. no, its something more dire. something more consuming, a something that swallows one whole.

perhaps you think that you've seen enough, and perhaps, for you, that is the truth. but for i, it is merely a speculation. my "love", as you call it, is something that cannot be described with mere words. no, the very idea of such a feat is simply unthinkable. it's to the point where i am spending my time writing a bible, for xiao. come to the point where i write countless fanfictions, where i close my eyes at 4 am hoping that i may dream of his warm embrace. it is with such delusion that i am able to survive the hell we call existence, and through his presence that i am able to feel fulfilled. i dream of him, dream of his every action, waiting for the day where i may feel his hand in mine and his warm touch. awaiting the day, the day, the day...

some may say ive gone mad.

are they correct? nonono, they are not. i am sound of mind, sound of soul. if you search enough, there shall be no doubt about this fact. there is merely a difference between those who love xiao, and those who "love" xiao. it is apparent that i belong to the latter. as stated previously, a simple 4 letter word cannot express the endless wells of the affection, the obsession that i hold for such a man - nay, the perfect and godly being, he who goes by the name of "xiao."

do i believe? yes. i believe. and i shall stand here, sit, whatever it may be... i shall breathe my inhale and exhale until he appears before me, until i may be satisfied for what i have done in this lifetime... and then i will take his hand. i will take his warm hands and he will clasp his fingers amongst mine, and he will smile at me, the slightest smile, as his pristine lips begin to move as he speaks. as he forms words with that seamlessly smooth voice, one that sways the resolve of the deities themself. "you have done well. i have waited for you."

it is then that i shall cry in his arms.

but none shall witness such a sight excluding the golden eyes of his very own.

delusion? insanity? id like to think that i havent descended into such voids. it is reasonable, to hold such attention for a being as flawless as him. his name is one that holds power, prestige... one that causes the shortness of breath and the racing of hearts. he is powerful, in that way, and many others.

his beautiful eyes that resemble the warm colors of the sun, or perhaps the gilded glow of gold... something as valuable as him deserves something more. something more precious, more priceless. his gliding soft hair that ruffles in the soft breeze, the way his highlights are so striking yet appealing... how his every calculated movement stirs the hearts and souls of the masses. how his stature is fair and his demeanor is graceful. should i go on? surely you have not all the time in the world for such rambling, but thus is the truth. an undeniable truth that none should dare to refute.

and should they... to put it simply, they may just find a knife at their throat... spilling the blood of the one who dared speak ill of such a holy entity.

the pure and faultless him, xiao.

[lyssak09]

Yandere Leo Wyatt Headcanons (Charmed 1998)

I'm so sorry that I fell off the face of the earth but that's life. Enjoy these random yandere headcanons. I have been rewatching Charmed, which I grew up watching, and it randomly gave me inspiration again. Yay! I've been in love with Leo for like my whole life, so these may be a tad long. Happy Reading

(FYI you are a charmed one in this but I don't specify which one you've taken the place of since I love all of them, but I do mention Piper and Pheobe in this. Maybe they're all alive in this or something lol)

We know Leo is protective of those he cares about, especially the ones he loves. So as a yandere, his protectiveness is 20 times worse. He keeps an eye on you at all times even when you can't see him, if he sees or senses you might be doing something too dangerous for his liking (including normal activities like cooking) he'll orb in and take over for you.

Leo doesn't have a concept of boundaries when it comes to you. So he’ll orb in at any time, it doesn’t matter if it's during intimate moments like you’re hoping out of the shower.

Leo watches you 24/7, even when he’s with his other charges. It doesn’t matter if you’re in the bathroom, asleep in bed, out with friends, or spending time with your sisters, he’ll have an eye on you.

He watches you sleep almost every night, you’re just so cute and peaceful when you sleep. And if he’s feeling bold he might even lay with you on the bed, perhaps cuddle you if you’re in a deep sleep. It makes him feel like you’re a couple when he does that, furthering his delusions.

Leo is a huge guard dog, not just from creatures but from humans too. He knows how to fight, and his combat skills are insane, but people seem to forget that about him which he takes advantage of. If someone or something badmouthed you then they better be ready for a fight.

He is so sweet to you, in an old-fashioned sort of way. If you’re entering a room he’ll beat you to the door to hold it open for you, even if you’re just going to the attic. He’ll carry your bag or jacket when you’re out and about. Leo will always make you walk on the opposite of traffic on sidewalks, meaning he walks on the traffic side of the pavement.

Leo loves anything you do, especially when you talk though, he could listen to you yap for hours, even if it's something he has no idea what it is! He’ll even ask questions about the topic, anything you care about is something he will want to know. Leo will learn about everything you watch and read, just so he can actually talk to you about it and know what you’re talking about. But he does love just listening to you ramble about something, happily letting you talk and him listen. 

One of the things he hates about being a whitelighter/dead is that he can’t really talk about himself to your friends. Such as at parties, he can’t tell them the truth about who he is, which bothers him as he wants your friends to like him without lying to them, that way they can urge you to go for him/accept his advances!

Even if/when you’re not dating he’ll get paranoid and jealous when you talk to men (even women), even Dan who obviously has a thing for Piper, not you. 

Leo will get you to go on a date with him, either he begged you, coerced you, or just got you with his charm.

He will use his dream leaping ability to hop into your dreams and manipulate them. He makes you dream of dates with him to not only help ‘convince’ you and your subconscious to seriously date him but also test out date ideas. He needs to know which ones will work better for your first date!

Leo's sweet demeanor masks his manipulative intentions as he orchestrates the perfect first date. 

He’ll take advantage of knowing you your entire life to get the perfect first date. Leo will get your favorite food, and do any activity you want. He will manipulate you into saying yes to a second date, then a third, a fourth, and so on.

Leo’s more than willing to stoop low enough to manipulate you into being his girlfriend <3

“I’d do anything for you, Y/N! I’m willing to die again if it means you’ll go out with me. Please, it's just one date! Your sisters will be fine without you for a couple of hours. So what do you say?”

And if that doesn’t work he has more tricks up his sleeve, In the worst-case scenario he has to enact his plans even if you aren’t dating, all it does is make it a bit more difficult if you aren’t. 

Leo’s behavior gets worse even if you don’t start dating. His paranoia intensifies once you're officially together, leading him to become increasingly possessive and controlling. He becomes jealous and suspicious of anyone you interact with, even your own sisters or close friends

He will start having you do different things from the rest of your sisters, like giving you a different mission while the rest of your sisters deal with a demon. You will notice he’s giving you easier or ‘safer’ things to do, like having you work on potions, or giving you simple monsters to vanquish, and always being around you when your sisters have you watch an innocent.

When you express discomfort or resistance to his controlling behavior, Leo gaslights you, making you doubt your perceptions and sanity. He twists situations to make you believe that his actions are motivated by love and concern, making himself appear as the victim of your supposed ingratitude or lack of trust.

“I’m your whitelighter and your boyfriend, Y/N! It's literally my job to protect, care for, and guide you in the right direction. I’m sorry that I’m just trying to do my job as a boyfriend and whitelighter! Don’t you trust me?”

The way he says it makes your heart ache slightly and keeps you from arguing with him for a bit longer.

A part of him will understand that what he feels for you isn’t healthy, that his feelings for you are way stronger than most. But he’s too in love to care.

I’m serious when I say he’s lovesick. When he’s around you he gets all flustered and blushes, he can’t get the thought of you out of his head. Everything you do is either special, amazing, or adorable to him. Even just seeing you eat, or you reading the book of Shadows.

Leo knows the Elders would flip a lid if they find out how deep his feelings for you really are. He’s kept it hidden from everyone so far, everyone just thinks he has a normal crush on you. 

Your sisters will urge you to date him, he’s perfect for you! He’s kind, loving, smart, handsome, and can orb you wherever you want for a date! You don’t realize his crush on you for a bit till your sisters have to practically spell it out for you after he brought you some flowers for the 5th week in a row. 

Leo says he’s a pacifist but he knows that when it comes to you, he’ll kill a person/thing without a second thought or regret. Especially if they were/about to harm you or get in between his relationship with you, his devotion to you knows no bounds. He is willing to forsake his pacifist beliefs and commit acts of violence without hesitation if he perceives a threat to you or your relationship. His love for you erases any second thoughts, leading him to justify his actions as necessary sacrifices for the sake of your safety and happiness.

He is quietly making plans on how to stay with you forever without the Elders intervening or putting a stop to him. Leo could either bargain with them, possibly using some information he found that they don’t know about but desperately need, or he could take a more…aggressive option. 

Leo is willing to kill or maim the elders and anyone else who gets in the way, he’ll try no violence or the least violent ways first. He’s not afraid to use a darklighter’s bow and get the elders out of the way, he could possibly take over and keep you up there with him if he takes that route.

He showers you with affection and attention, bombarding you with declarations of love, and gifts, but mainly acts of service. He overwhelms you with displays of devotion, to the point it might feel suffocating. But everyone keeps telling you that they’d kill for someone to do that for them, even your sisters say you’re being ridiculous, that you should feel lucky and happy Leo does that for you. Maybe you’re just overthinking it?

“No you guys don’t understand! I can’t get a moment to myself without him orbing in with a gift or him beating me to a task I had been planning to do.” You complain to your sisters. They give you a funny look before laughing, “You’re being ridiculous Y/N, he’s just trying to show you he loves you. I wouldn’t complain if Dan would weed the garden for me” Piper says before smiling at you. You let out a frustrated huff. “That's not the point Piper! It’s overwhelming!” You exasperate. “Then what is the point Y/N? Because to me, it sounds like you’re complaining about a good thing.” Phoebe said with a slight tone. You quiet down a bit and think, “Maybe I am being ridiculous, maybe Leo is just trying to show he cares?”

The main ways he shows affection are acts of service and physical touch. Do you have a project for the house you’ve been planning to do? He’s already done it. You’re about to plant some flowers in the backyard? Don’t worry! He’ll do it for you. Those dishes in the sink you were planning to do are already done. Any improvements you talked about, even if it was in just one conversation and didn’t really plan to do it, are either done or he’s working on it. He loves being your handyman, it goes with his 1940s-esque views of what a husband should do.

One of the things he loved about just being the handyman, before you knew that he was a whitelighter, was when you’d bring him something to drink or snack on while he worked. It made him picture you as a wife even more than he already was. Anytime you brought him a drink he’d look away from the project he was working on and gain the biggest goofiest smile.

“Hey Leo, I made some lemonade the other day, would you like some? I don’t want you to die of dehydration just because you’re busy working out here.” You joke as you look up at him, covering your eyes a bit to block the sun. He smiles and steps down from the ladder, “I wouldn’t want that either” he jokes and laughs, you still don’t know he’s technically dead. Nor do you know much about who he is really. “I guess the gutters can wait for a bit.” Leo laughed and scratched the back of his neck, you make him so nervous! You notice how red his cheeks have gotten but just brush it off, he has been working in the yard for over an hour now. “Sweet, why don’t you come inside for a second and cool off? I’ll go get that lemonade.” You smile and head inside, while Leo follows you in like a puppy. All he can do when you hand him a glass of lemonade with that beautiful smile of yours is blush even harder and smile like a fool.

Leo uses his powers often once you guys learn he’s a whitelighter and he’ll use them to his advantage. If/when he enacts his plan (whichever one he goes with) he’ll use them if you try to escape. Say you get so desperate that you attack him and run he’ll quickly regenerate and use his sensing ability to track you down.

If he goes down the avatar path (like he did in the show) then he’ll use those powers to an insane amount. Such as the power negation to cancel out your powers so you can’t use them against him. And he’ll use the reality-warping one to make the perfect place for you together. 

Leo will also use the chronokinesis power when needed. 

Either way, no matter what powers he has he will use them, it's only fair if you try to use them against him

Leo loves you more than anything on earth, and he’ll make sure he gets his girl in the end. Hopefully, your sisters will catch on to his plans before it's too late. 

But just know Leo won’t go down without a fight, and he sure as hell isn’t going to let go of you so easily.

[nuclearanomaly]

Do you take returns?

What if I went insane an posted old writing just because [Modern | Bookshop AU. | wc 1695 ]

The bell above the door tinkled softly, just loud enough to be heard over the quiet murmur of the radio drifting through the small used bookstore. From the back of the shop Ninira couldn’t see the door or the potential customer who entered, despite the fact that she was currently poised atop a stepladder. The filled shelves and other haphazard stacks of books created a series of walls between her and the store’s entrance. 

“Good afternoon!” She called blindly, heaving a particularly hefty book into its new place on the shelf. She’d been organizing all day, though that wasn’t anything new. Since taking ownership of the shop she’d been organizing it. Slowly making her way through the mountains of books and attempting to place them in a semblance of order, something that customers could, at the very least, browse without confusion. It had turned out to be a monumental task, but it at least kept her busy since the customers that came to her small used book store were few and far between. 

“Afternoon.” The reply that came was smooth, refined, and unlike anything she’d heard in her shop before. She knew the usual customers, the grunts of old men, the cooing voices elderly women, and the ramblings of the regulars; this was none of them. Cautiously, and curiously, she climbed down from her stool and crept towards the front of the store. 

The voice belonged to a man. Even with his back half to her, and she only just peeking out from behind one of the store shelves, she was sure that he was perhaps one of the most stunning men she’d ever seen. He was undoubtedly the most beautiful man that had ever set foot inside her dusty little store. She watched as he browsed one of the bookshelves casually, hands clasped behind his back, his raven hair catching in the late afternoon sun that was just starting to shine in through the front window. He radiated refinement from his posture to his clothes and Ninira’s initial feelings of awe were slowly replaced with suspicion. He looked as though he could afford the whole store, what need would he have for a dusty used novel. 

He may be the prettiest but he was not the first of his type to enter her store. Usually they were sleazier than him. Sauntering in and trying to bully a price out of her for the shop on the up and coming street. Prime real estate they called it. Not for sale was what she called it. 

Ducking back behind the shelf she took a breath, preparing herself for the roundabout conversations that were to come, before stepping out beside the front desk. “Are you looking for something in particular today?” She asked in her best customer service voice. 

The man turned his gaze drifting down to her and his eyes a shocking blue. He smiled warmly and Ninira once again had to firmly remind herself that there was no way this man had any good intentions.

“Browsing mostly, though perhaps you can help me… I’m looking for a gift for a friend.”

Ninira blinked. That was the last thing she had expected. Was he in fact genuine? “O—oh, of course!” She fumbled, suddenly aware, under his gaze, that the last lot of books she had been sorting had left large dusty streaks on her shirt. She hastily brushed at them. “What kind of book were you looking for?” 

He gave his chin a thoughtful tap, “they’re… an artist so to speak, so something along those lines.” 

“I have a display of art books in the front currently, if you would like to look at those.” She hesitated before adding, “they’re probably the nicest ones I have in stock at the moment.” It was the truth, they were fine collections of traditional Hingan art, yet she was reluctant to sell them. For very foolish reasons since her display had not enticed the buyer she had hoped for despite having it set up in the front window for a couple weeks now.

Her customer’s smile deepened to something akin to a smirk. “No... I saw those and don’t think they’ll suit his tastes. Do you have anything different?”

Ninira’s suspicions returned. He was amused by her offer? She frowned slightly, hoping it looked more contemplative than annoyed. He was playing her after all... He’d buy a book in good faith; or more likely watch as she struggled and failed to find the perfect book. Then make some comment about how she should give up on the store. Well he could try. 

Ninira turned and started down one of the cluttered aisles. “The other art books are back here.” Fortunately she hadn’t moved them much since she’d dug through them all to make the window display.

She weaved her way around haphazard stacks, books unable to fit on the already full shelves before stopping beside an overflowing shelf, and an open box filled with excess books. “Here…” she gestured to the box, “sorry for the mess.”

He smiled that warm smile and knelt to look through the box. “It seems like you’re in the process of moving things around here.” 

“Yes. I’m trying to have less of this.” She gestured to the general clutter surrounding them, unsure why she was telling this in the first place. “And more something that someone could navigate on their own.”

“A wise idea for a business. Do you not have help?” 

Ninira sensed the warning flags once more. “No… But I make do.”

“That’s a big job to tackle alone— ah.”

Ninira watched, baffled, as he pulled a book titled How to Draw Action Anime and Manga from the depths of the box. His devious smirk returned as he held it up. “Perfect.”

It dawned on Ninira that perhaps the person he was plotting against was the recipient of this book rather than her. She felt some tension lift from her shoulders. “Are you sure?” She asked politely. 

“Positive.” He started to rise but paused and looked at her. “Though... do take returns?”

Ninira nodded.

“Wonderful! It’s just… he might already own this one, you know?”

—

“What the actual fuck is this?”

Estinien stared at the book that had been unceremoniously dropped into his lap mere moments before. The wide eyed spiky haired abomination on the cover stared back.

“A book on Hingan art.” Aymeric was unable to keep the smug amusement out of his voice as he took a seat. Estinien’s apartment was already cramped but he’d managed to squeeze in a chair alongside the couch, coffee table, and entertainment unit that occupied his living room. Aymeric sat in the armchair now, an infuriatingly pleased look on his face. “Just like you asked.”

“I asked for the book on traditional art that was in the window!” Estinen snarled from his own spot on the couch, “not this!” He brandished How to Draw Action Anime and Manga angrily at his friend.

“Ah, the one in the window. I apologize, I didn’t see that one.” Aymeric’s face cracked into a grin. The bastard. He knew full well about the book sitting in the bookstore’s window. Estinien had been eyeing it for a while now and despite the fact that the aforementioned bookstore was directly across the road from his soon to be tattoo parlor he’d yet to venture inside. Too busy he’d told himself. If he was at his shop it was to work on the renovations needed to get the place open. After all, he had a schedule to keep and no time to waste browsing a bookstore. It had absolutely nothing to do with how cute the store owner was and the prospect of having to talk to her.

“You’re taking this back.” Estinen tossed the book at his friend. 

Aymeric deftly caught the book before tossing it back across Estinien’s living room. “Unfortunately I’m terribly busy, much too busy to return your book. Besides,” he folded his arms. “It’s a gift! Quite rude of you to demand that I return it. If you don’t like it, the receipt is inside, you may return it. Or exchange it, whichever you prefer.”

Estinien opened his mouth to argue but Aymeric continued. “Don’t give me you’re too busy with the shop spiel again. It’s directly across the road. Perhaps you could use some of the precious time you spend looking through the front window at the store to go over there instead?” 

Estinien scowled. 

“I’ve done you a favour! You have a reason to go now, not that you didn’t already. You go in, exchange the book your horrible friend bought you. Maybe ask the cute owner if she’d like some help moving some of the books around? She looks like she could use a hand in there. Take her out for a coffee afterwards?” Aymeric’s smile grew as the flush crept up Estinien’s face.

He rose, discarding the art book onto the coffee table as he made his way to the kitchen and wrenched open the fridge. The line of beer cans stood waiting on the top shelf and he grabbed one, cracking it open and taking a long drink. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.” 

From the other room Aymeric sighed. “Of course you don’t…” 

Estinien returned to the living room, tossing Aymeric his own beer before slouching onto the sofa. He was only slightly disappointed that Aymeric didn’t open the can immediately and cover himself in a shower of beer—he had given the can a few extra shakes just in case. Aymeric of course had the foresight to set the can aside, the bastard. 

“Well if you do nothing I do hope that, for your future clients sake, you decide to put up some blinds. I wouldn’t want you tattooing my arm only to be distracted when your neighbour across the street slips out for her lunch.”

Estinien took an angry sip of his drink. “I’m not going to get distracted.”

“Hm, evidence proves otherwise.” Aymeric retorted, finally tempting fate and opening his own drink. He did not get sprayed much to Estinien’s further disappointment.

[yonpote]

insane ramblings of food laughter sex: live laugh love

this was gonna be a full essay about comparing dan's Big Three motivations to the "live laugh love" motto, i wrote this in november of last year and im prob never gonna finish it so have it now lol

LIVE LAUGH LOVE : FOOD LAUGHTER AND SEX

sources: find those links to tiktoks about live laugh love

dan’s videos: trying to live my truth + basically i’m gay

ok so this is all just rambling because my mental state is very weird right now and its the holiday season which means ive been binging youtubers i used to be obsessed with as a teen but just hear me out

i watched these tiktoks about live laugh love actually being kind of a real statement like we associate it with like gen x white target wine moms or whatever but there is some deep truth to live laugh love being so simple because the core of life really is that simple

in my strange youtube brain addled haze i recalled a video by dan howell called “trying to live my truth” now this video is in a lot of ways a pre-cursor to his eventual coming out video discussing dan wanting to finally be honest with himself and all that but what i want to talk about are the three tenets he mentions at the very end as what keeps him happy in day to day life (even if they dont necessarily answer the big questions) which are Laughter, Food, and Sex. now keep in mind he is discussing this in the context of his own life so if those tenets are not relatable to you that is fine but in a lot of ways he sort of reverse engineered or perhaps re-framed a familiar phrase, “Live, Laugh, Love” to something perhaps more easily tangible to other younger queer terminally online people.

[dreamishsara]

Insane duo rambles because tumblr allows me to

These two fuckin guys

who got on the server together, the early days were so peacful where all the five fathers got along at the favela playing with richarlyson and hanging out again really enjoying the warm welcome they were given by the other members. Forever who loves to grind out on moded servers cus hes got a lot of experience, and cellbit who is captivated by the mysteries and enigmas of the server and is ready to solve them all with the help of his friends.

Cellbit who spent so much time in his office being consumed by this obcession of trying to find how to get out of the island and out of cucuruchos and the federations grasp, and Forever being the only parent to truly care about spending time with their son.

Cellbit and forever greatly trusting in each other with their plans and finding each other really smart and responsible for their son and both of them falling off because of Cellbit's obcession and means to do anything to find answers.

Cellbit who lied to forever in his face, betrayed and left everyone he cared about for the sake of his last plan, and forever being completely heartbroken and betrayed by the people he cared the most turning on him when all he wanted was to protect them.

I think about insane duo as purely platonic because the way their bond from day one was so brotherly in a way they had their silly fights but deep down trusted each other the most, and even after falling apart and having the world tear them down, they never stopped believing in each other.

Cellbit believed Forever would understand his bluff and motives, and maybe one day forgive him. And Forever believed cellbit never truly went mad and it was all part of his plan to protect all of them in the end.

the way that as soon as shit went wrong Cellbit ran to richarlyson to tell him to pass the message on to forever, completely relying on the guy to continue his legacy and perhaps save him. And Forever who has been really mad at cellbit, because ever since the guy betrayed him his whole world turned upside down and now he was worried about making allies and enemies- As soon as he heard from richas cell had suddenly disappeared and left him a message, he dropped everything to find out. And as he did, all his grudges and resentment came crumbling down. He was so glad he had never truly given up on him and that the truth had finally come to light. But he was also now scared that if cellbit, the guy who was so careful about hiding his cover and trying to get information from the most dangerous guys in the server fucked up, who knew what they couldve done to him. And he sure did drop everything he had planned to start preparing to storm into the federation to rescue him.

THEY MAKE ME ILL THEY MAKE ME SICK THEY ARE GOING TO FUCKING KILL ME

[hurryupmerlin]

My beloved Mal belongs to @riinoaheartilly

_______________

"How many sex partners did you have?" Mal asks while his hand draws lazy circles on Ami's bare shoulder.

It's a good time to ask things that would otherwise never be addressed. Heads still woozy with happiness and systems flooded with cuddle hormones so soon after their interlude makes for loose tongues.

"You tell first."

"When I was younger, a couple guys in the showers,” Mal muses. “Nothing serious; we had no idea what we were doing. After the war started I had a guy I met up with every now and then. Hated his guts but he knew how to get the job done."

"How could you sleep with someone you hated?"

Mal shrugs nonchalantly.

"We weren't allowed to stab each other. Had to find a way to resolve our conflicts differently."

"But you liked it?"

"Admittedly." He smirks. "What about you, what's your body count?"

Looking up at the ceiling, Ami answers after a few seconds of reflection: "Sex partners... Just you."

Mal's hand stops its monotonous circular movement and withdraws. He exhales audibly through his nose. For a moment he considers ignoring the statement and moving over to the next topic, but then he speaks out loud what he had been thinking way too often since he met Ami:

"Why do you always lie to me?"

He's used to Ami avoiding the truth, but he can't stop the disappointment from dripping from his every syllable.

In Ami's ears, the accusation rings even worse. He avoids Mal's gaze.

"I'm not lying," he asserts.

But maybe he should've lied. Should've said any number worthy of a nod and a chuckle. Should've made something up about a girl back home or another slave in the camp. Should've let Mal think that he had learned taking dick like everyone else did and that he'd just always been blessed with so little gag reflex, no story behind that.

A tight knot forms in his stomach. He doesn't want to talk about it, but he doesn't want to lie to Mal either. Now he regrets that he didn't stop the question in the first place. He wanted to know more about Mal and that lured him in. Perhaps Mal would have been ready for the second round already, that certainly would've distracted him enough from digging any deeper. Anyway, it's too late now.

Mal just shakes his head.

"Thought we were over hiding our pasts from each other. My mistake."

"Mal...," Ami tries again, struggling for words.

"Never mind," Mal says dismissively and straightens up. The worst thing about it, Ami figures, is that he doesn't even seem angry. Just done.

Mal swings his legs over the edge of the bed, about to leave and Ami sits up quickly, rocks forward and presses his face against Mal's back, wrapping his arms around his lover's hips.

Mal stills and hangs his head.

"I'm sorry," Ami mumbles against Mal's warm skin. "It's– I– I don't want to talk about... It's hard for me to talk about some things."

"That's okay." A cybernetic hand tenderly comes to rest over Ami's. "Don't worry, I still love you."

Being able to hide behind Mal without having to look him in the eye helps.

"I know what you think." Ami can't help the tremor in his voice. What he says next feels like chewing glass. "But lying on your back crying, while someone forces themself in... that isn't sex. Sucking a dick because you're so hungry you already fainted twice that day and desperately want to earn a treat isn't sex."

His voice breaks.

"But Mal, I love you. When I'm sleeping with you it's because I want you. Your kisses make me hard, and I can't get enough of your hands. And the way you say my name... makes it sound like an endearment instead of an insult."

He had hoped he could finish his monologue with a bit of dignity, but no. The tears find their way out and Ami's words crumble into sobs under the strain. The way he's crying now, he's too distraught to filter what comes next as he rambles on:

"And... sometimes you make me laugh while we're at it, how insane is that? I never even knew that was possible. Gosh, when– when you touch me, it feels so right. In my book, that is sex. And I only had sex with you, Mal. No one else."

Mal doesn't move or speak for a whole agonizing minute, just squeezes the hand under his.

He finds it difficult to unpack and sort everything that Ami has served him. The meaning of what he has just learned creeps into him like smoke into lungs. It constricts his throat, sharp-edged and indigestible.

Eventually he says a quiet "I'm sorry."

A multitude of grief and shame hangs in the air, heavy and dark. After all of Ami's words, he feels as if he's supposed to say more, balance it out, and do some healing. But words fail him.

"Only you," Ami says weakly, like a mantra, as his lips graze over the ridges of Mal's spine.

Mal's reply is quiet and soft: "Only you."

[project-v175]

Out on a Limb

Brutal fighting. That's what the wizarding world had succumbed to. Violence. All her life, she had only known the peace of magic. That changed when she became an apprentice at the ministry. She wanted to be an auror. She wanted to restore peace. He who shall not be named had ruined everything for her, and it needed to be set right. Nothing felt normal for her.. not until him.

__

Chapter 12: Take a Seat

Creech crept into Venus's room in the early hours of the morning. The wrinkled elf drug suitcase after suitcase in with him. The scrapping of wood stirred Venus out of her sleep. She gave a groggy groan. Creech began mumbling nonsense to himself, leaving Venus to fend for herself with her things. She sat up in the bed. Her hand ran over her hair, which was messier than it had been when she went to sleep. It was going to take her a while to fix it. Her suitcases were packed to near explosion. How Creech managed was beyond her.

She found only her nicest clothing in one suitcase. The other had all her hygiene in it, plus some. Creech had brought her moisterizung lotions she had never even seen before. Or was this Alastor's idea? As she searched her belongings, she pulled out a black ribbon. Her hair fit nicely atop her head in a familiar bun. The hairstyle would have to do for now. She dressed in a simple pair of jeans and a dark sweatshirt. She looked like a muggle. Perfect. There were too many around to risk being noticed. Her wand fit nicely against her arm. It was just short enough to hide under her sleeve and not hinder her movement.

Alastor's familiar steps approached the door. Just before he knocked, she greeted him at the door with a smile. "Morning, Alastor. Sleep well?"

"As well as anyone can on these old beds. Come on, Creech should have breakfast ready soon. Then I'm taking ya outside." Alastor turned to the side. His staff waved Venus out, with the only way for her to go being down the steps.

"Outside? For what?" Venus stepped out of the room and down the steps.

Alastor stayed close behind her. "The rest of your training."

"Huh? You - Is this about that sixth sense thing?" Venus turned to face him at the end of the steps.

"Yes. It's not nearly as strong as it should me. Constant. Vigilance. You need to have constant vigilance everywhere. Even at home." Alastor pushed past Venus and into the kitchen.

The scent of porridge filled the room. There was a platter of fresh fruits laid out in the center of the table cloth. It seemed relatively new or unused, at least. Clean. It was clean. Not like the rest of the dusty, mold filled house. The two sat down, and Creech scooted bowls in front of them. The spoons were already inside.

"Alastor.. what exactly.. is this place?" Venus took a handful of bananas and blueberries for her porridge. She sprinkled on some cinnamon for a bit more taste as well.

Alastor hesitated, telling her the truth. Perhaps she couldn't detect a good lie, but that still didn't make it right. She would find out eventually,"The headquarters of the Order of the Pheonix. 12 Grimmauld Place. House of Sirius Black. An old friend."

Her blood ran cold. It was if her heart had stopped working. Venus swallowed the lump in her throat and gripped her spoon. "Sirius.. Black? You brought me.. to a death eaters home?" Venus stood from her seat, knocking it over from the force. "Are you insane? What is wrong with you?! You really are mad!"

"Sit back down. He isn't actually a death eater. It's a cover for the order." Alastor placed both his hands on the table in fists. He looked up at Venus, deadpanned.

"The hell are you - the order? Order of what?" Venus began pacing. Her hands flew from her temples to the air in crazed motions. A slew of ramblings and accusations followed suit.

"The Order of the Pheonix. We fought the death eaters off. Now, would you please. Sit. Down. Im tired of your fussing." Venus stood in shock at Alastor's sudden change in tone. She took her seat quietly. The two began to eat in silence. Awkward silence.

Alastor finished off his porridge first. He waited patiently for Venus to finish. She took her time. Almost testing Alastors patience. He kept his gaze soft, even as his anger began to grow. When she finished, her fingers grazed the edge and practically shoved the bowl forward. A reluctant glare peirced through Alastor.

"You better explain, Alastor. Or im leaving."

Alastor laughed at Venus's threat. Even Creech would know how empty it is. How impossible. Venus couldn't leave if she wanted to. She had no idea where to go. How to go. "Fine. Fine. I'll start with the beginning of the war. When i was an apprentice. Much like you."

The house of Sirius Black was once a full home. Not empty. Bustling with people. The Order of the Pheonix. Those who wished to stop Voldemort joined together where Venus and Alastor sat for breakfast. They would dine together. Celebrate together. Even cry together. Alastor became part of it when the war began as an apprentice. His mentor died at the beginning, much like Venus's had. It was a group effort. A team. A family. There is nothing like the death eaters. Both sides fought for a cause, but only one was stronger. After Voldemort was believed to be gone, the order fell apart. Grimmauld Place became barren with Sirius Black imprisoned. Only now, months later, did life stir inside it.

Venus stared at Alastor. Pangs of guilt twisted at her insides. She avoided Alastor's amused gaze to no avail. Her eyes met him, and she muttered, "Sorry.. for freaking out.. and all that.."

"No matter." Alastor stood from his chair and began towards the door. "Let's train that sixth sense, shall we?"

__

Author Note

So, it's a bit of a shorter episode. My mom has covid right now. With holidays coming up and her being ill, i have to take care of nearly EVERYTHING. Im so sorry, yall- but thank goodness i have two weeks off for Yule. So I'll be writing a bit more after our initial celebration this year.

[menalez]

this might seem a little insane but ive been thinking about this topic lately and figured i'd share some of my rambles in your ask box, perhaps you'll also find it interesting: the original concept of comphet, as in, adrienne rich's, is obviously polilez nonsense. but a couple aspects of how the term "comphet" is used nowadays in social media might actually have some truth to them. i don't use the term that much anymore since it's become so broad, with so many different connotations. i've come to find that, in some cases, it's accurately describing the phenomenon of meta attraction, a concept in sexology. now, i've got my own criticisms regarding sexology as a field, and especially some of Ray Blanchard's claims... but allow me to explain what i've been thinking: meta attraction to men, in this case, is when you experience arousal of some sort in sexual situations with men, but you aren't actually physically attracted to the man, his body and genitalia and so. you can't even fall in love with men. instead, the arousal is the product of an attraction to yourself. in trans women who fit the autogynephilia category, they are actually exclusively gynephilic, but may experience arousal when they're with men, because comparing themselves with men makes them feel "more like a woman," it makes them feel validated. they're attracted to themselves as women, being with men is simply a proxy by which they experience this attraction to their conceptual womanhood. somewhat similarly, but obviously with a different etiology, some women (as in adult female human this time), especially if they've undergone psychological trauma, aren't attracted to men or male bodies at all, ranging from lack of attraction to active repulsion, but may end up in situations with men as self harm, seeking some kind of gray area consent/nonconsent that makes them feel victimized, vulnerable, endangered, small. they're experiencing meta attraction fueled by masochism, by an erotic target location error; the erotic target being themselves, how they look in comparison to the violent male. this hypothesis i've been thinking of regarding what actually constitutes as legitimate "comphet" has been helping me a lot, sorting out my feelings and organizing them. it just makes sense. there can even be feminist analysis surrounding this aspect of sexology. it honestly helped me heal from trauma and made me more willing to assert my boundaries. i don't need to give in to men's advances just because i hate myself and have some kind of impulse to hurt myself further. recovery is possible and i genuinely want to heal now. so, what do you think?

honestly i’m not sure about the arousal part, it’s interesting for sure but i don’t think lesbians face arousal during sex w men caused by them imagining themselves in contrast to the man. i do think someone traumatised might put themselves thru that but the reasoning for it that u came up with has the groundworks of a good sexology theory…. but i don’t think it reflects reality

[waterdanced]

alright, folks, strap in for another theory rambling from syd: demyx edition

what we know about demyx:

not much

(that's, like, partially facetious but also true. all we really know is that he's connected to some ancient keyblade legacy. on top of that, though, there are some observations we can make:)

his death in kh2 has him in a weird pillar of light only shared slightly with xigbar

i trust him when he says he's not a scientist

his title is the melodious nocturne in en and nocturnal poem in jp

his element is water, which has been heavily associated with darkness as a metaphor in kingdom hearts

now, let's set aside demyx for a second to discuss the master of masters — and no, this theory isn't one of those theories about them being the same or whatever. i have taste.

the landi lodge on youtube posits that the master of masters may very well be light itself, and i'm inclined to agree; the fact that he says "the truth is what you see with your eyes, not what you hear," only for the screen to flash with light when his name is blanked from being heard is almost evidence enough, but compound that with my outdated theory about him being kingdom hearts itself... i feel it makes sense. what we also know about the master of masters is that he once had friends in a time long ago who fell in another keyblade war, and darkness is his long-time enemy.

there is also a lot of christian imagery going into mom and the foretellers, given the seven deadly sins and whatnot. i promise this is relevant.

one more important detail: one of the thirteen true darknesses is currently unaccounted for.

now, let's get back to demyx and what i think about him:

let's take one possibility for his true name, edym, and consider that it's an alternative spelling of adam. adam was created by god, famously known as a being of light.

let's consider that edym — possibly like luxu, possibly like the foretellers, if you let me be very insane — may very well have been a creation of the master of masters in an era long past. they may be connected in a way without being the same person. consider edym as a prototype replica (which would work narratively given all his talking points and plot involving the replicas), maybe even with, somehow, a piece of the master in him to kickstart his existence — sort of similar to the concept of a nobody. it would explain his light pillar at death, and it would explain his haha, yeah, no dismissal of being a scientist. it would also explain his ancient keyblade legacy. it might even explain why he knows nobodies do have hearts, which no one is aware of canonically.

consider him one of mom's original friends, thought lost in the war. consider him becoming a vessel for the missing darkness and how that would be such a painful insult and personal attack to the master of masters while also explaining his affinity for water, so often linked to darkness. it would also explain the nocturne/nocturnal part of his titles, given that nothing else about demyx really fits that description whereas most of the others at least fit who they're assigned to.

there is also the fact that vexen comments about "men like us, men of science," when speaking to demyx... which is certainly not accurate for vexen's perception of demyx. but consider that vexen/even has displayed a very sharp intuition before in being able to tell that ventus is a heart of pure light, so perhaps he's picking up on something about demyx's past and true nature.

this would all even, in a way similar to how xigbar set off mom-similarity warning bells in others before that reveal, explain what similarities are there between demyx and the master.

i've talked about my theories for luxord and how those would put him around the missing link era, but i don't think mom's original era would be mentioned if it wouldn't also be relevant. demyx having a personal connection to the master of masters would add another layer to the way he's often seen with xigbar, as well.

and all this said, demyx could still very well have ended up quadratum, thus making him a duo with luxord still despite being from different eras.

i hope all of this makes sense. i could definitely spend more time on it to make it more cohesive, but... this is what y'all get.

[prdrys]

—# whispers of the moon. | bloodborne! au

—desc: heed the beckoning whispers of the moon, lest one desires to know an eldritch truth.

—c. warnings: possible spoilers for bloodborne. oh, and body horror.

—a. notes: you guys have no idea how obsessed i am with bloodborne. so watch me go insane.

—original au made by: @/claranoctis, basic synopsis here.

so, for starters, these are just my ramblings or i guess my own two cents on this au. like i said, i am insane and these are just my ramblings, haven mostly come up with these on the spot.

thank you~ (´◉◞౪◟◉)

curse the fiends…

MOZUS TREIN— would probably fill the role of Father Gascoigne.

Like… the blueprint is right there. (His wife is gone, and he has two daughters.)

He’d obviously be a veteran of the Black Church, maybe a squad leader, perhaps even Ace’s and Deuce’s squad leader, who knows?

But either way, Mozus, or perhaps Father Mozus, is a veteran of the Black Church who’s just as strict as he is religious and who’s been hunting for almost half his life.

That was… until he succumbed to the blood.

Now, at this point, I guess you’re wondering where Lucius is? Great question.

If you’ve played Bloodborne and the Old Hunter’s DLC, you know how Ludwig fuses with his horse, right? Right.

If you haven’t caught my drift yet, I’m basically saying that Mozus fuses with Lucius when he entirely turns into a Scourge Beast.

He carries that cat everywhere, so I wouldn’t be surprised if, even if he had become blood-drunk, Lucius would stay by his side no matter what…

their children too…

DIVUS CREWEL— an outsider within the walls of Corvareth who essentially plays the role of Gilbert and Eileen the Crow.

Divus used to be a Hunter of Hunters, a hunter who had dedicated themselves to hunting Hunters who have gone blood-drunk from hunting beasts. (e.g. Mozus)

He first started off as a cliric of the White Church, but switched the Black Church to become a Hunter of Hunters due to no one in his generation wanting to become one.

And for context, the blood in Corvareth (Yharnam in this AU) is basically like alcohol and intoxicating, to the point inhabitants would even drink blood just to get drunk.

He’d mentor Vil during his time in the White Church, telling him about Corvareth’s rich history, unbeknownst to him igniting Vil’s curiosity about immortality and what not.

Anyways— after being afflicted with the Beast Plague, Divus retired from being a Hunter of Hunters, leaving the title to the next generation, and decided to confine himself inside his home.

Wether or not he turns into a Scourge Beast by the end of the night or if Vil comes to find him is up to you..

and their children…

GRIM— could play the role of the Orphan of Kos. But with a few tweaks, obviously.

Still in his mother’s womb when her deceased body washed up on a lone fishing hamlet’s coast. Only to crawl out, still alive, unbeknownst to the hunters sent by Crowley when they began to dissect her body, laying waste to the poor hunters a few moments later.

Ah, but now what about YUU?

Well, as you know, Grim loves to talk about Yuu being his servant. So why not take that to a literal sense.

Taking some elements from Mergo’s Wet Nurse, Yuu is still taking the role of caretaker in this AU, but not to a bunch rowdy teenagers, but to a unhinged baby Great One who wants to go home. Great!

Yuu themselves isn’t a Great One nor a Kin. But seeing as how the more time they spend around Grim, they might as well being turning into one.

They’re just a poor fisherman’s child who got caught up in some eldritch business and is now being dragged around Corvareth by Grim, facing the consequence they didn’t ask for… (PД`q。)·。'゜

And because I’m mean, after Grim goes back home (a.k.a. the higher plane) to be with the other Great Ones, Yuu just becomes a walking, mumbling, mutated husk of themselves due to being around an actual Great One for far too long. A wonderful remind of how dangerous the Great Ones really are.

…forever, true.

—post note:

uhh, i lowkey half-assed the last part with yuu and grim, but i think i can come up with something better. i’m just fleshing out ideas here, ig.

i like how crewel’s part went, i also think i half-assed trein’s part, but with what he has canonically in twst, it just felt right.

i wanted to do sam and vargas, but i didn’t know how exactly they’d fit in? i suppose sam could be a traveling merchant who knows the danger’s of using blood healing while vargas could be a hunter of vilebloods, maybe take logarius’ role or alfred’s, but idk.

anyways, thank you for supporting my ever growing bloodborne obsession. :D

[hearth4days]

1 & 22

1. What’s something new that you tried in a fic this year? How did it turn out and would you do it again?

I think my main new thing was writing collabs (hello 🫵) which. So so fun but as we said the other day probably not an all the time thing. We get so rambly /pos. We slayed though and I'd definitely do more

22. Share an excerpt from your favorite scene

Imma be real I do not remember half of the fics I wrote this year. I think our best ones were probably all the Kiyo fics though so here's a good bit from one that I really thought would get more attention

It was the only comfort he had. Even delirious with pain and hunger and tiredness, he was sort of aware that this was not a good sign for the reality of his sister's soul finding him. People went insane from this kind of thing all the time. Especially people like him, solitary and haunted by their pasts, the only thing that had ever comforted them lost to the march of time. He'd done his studying. Necromancy was not possible. Ghost stories were likely a way of comforting the living more than actual fact. But regardless of the reason, here she was. Perhaps their love was just that strong. And even if that wasn't the case, he had no problem with being the next in a long line of half-truths in history.

[kaibutsunoo]

Gaia.

If you're a mutual of a mutual, you'll see posts briefly talking about how @vonerde and I have bonked heads and developed a crazy idea of Godzilla being Gaia's son. This was mostly baked up because of how I myself interpreted Godzilla's relationship with Earth. Godzilla is an avatar of the Earth, so it makes sense to make him related to someone who is, in essence, an embodiment of Earth. Below the cut are various transcribed ramblings developed across the last three days that go into detail about how this relationship works from The Son's side of things. How he interprets the relationship. It's a chonky post.

First and foremost, let's talk about what Godzilla is and how that relates to being an avatar of the Earth. There is no way to interpret traditional mythos without acknowledging the truth behind his creation: Godzilla is an analogy for The Atomic Bomb. While my interpretation doesn't take that to a literal degree, it's touched upon a lot by the way I describe the mechanics of Godzilla's body. He is fueled by radiation, and it burns at such a rapid degree that he must constantly recharge by consuming the energy produced at Nuclear Power Plants. This means that Godzilla is a walking radioactive nightmare. In some films, his wake has left people sick from radiation poisoning.

To get into the meat and potatoes of this post: What does this make Godzilla to the Earth? In order to answer this, we first need to explore what exactly it was that created him. There is no beating around the bush: It was Humanity's fault. Through and through. In 1945, they tested the first atomic bomb... and then in 1946, they tested several more atomic bombs in the Pacific Proving Grounds... and they performed over one hundred and five nuclear tests. To this day, the islands are still contaminated from the nuclear fallout left by the atomic testing done by the United States. For decades, inhabitants of the islands were left infected by the radiation... and the soil, the habitat, and even the very water... was ruined by the testing.

While I think the damage done at the Pacific Proving Grounds was felt by The Earth, no damage was left to her form for one simple reason: He absorbed it. All of it. Perhaps not the radiation or the fallout, as that still wrecked the wildlife and the people... but the damage it could've caused... the irreparable damage done... was nullified. Of course, perhaps he did not do this willingly, as he was just another victim caught in the blast— but his connection to her gave him the ability to siphon it off— and once he started... he refused to stop. Not because the radiation was addicting or because it was energizing— but because he knew if he stopped for even a second— it would burn her, and how dare they put a single scar upon her form...? How dare they?

Despite how noble his intention was, there was no denying that what happened physically altered him to such an insane degree, that he is simply an abnormality. Nothing that big should exist. He should collapse under the weight of his own body and yet he persists. A gift from Mother, perhaps? To not only be powerful? But to exist as an integral part of the natural order? What does he do with that gift? It's really hard to explain because he doesn't yearn to actively destroy humanity, despite his jaded view of them. He doesn't protect or care about them, though. He exclusively cares about the ground he treads upon. So rampaging through cities in order to defeat a rival monster or absorb more energy from a nuclear plant is simply what he feels is justified for what they did to the earth. He's aggressive and does not bottle up his negative emotions. He holds humanity responsible for their transgressions against nature, and will actively enforce his will upon them if he feels they are attempting anything of that variety again. However, he understands that there is a difference between hostility and sadism. He doesn't actively seek to torture Humanity... but he won't hesitate to put them in their place if he has to. As long as they strike first, he will always strike back. Their buildings are material. Their actions are not.

What does this mean for the relationship? Well, to cite a headcanon that I read whilst figuring out how to make this relationship respectful to Vee's interpretation of Earth and of her own muse, I read this specific quote: "Even if she is kind by nature, she is not a carpet for anyone to walk over; any disrespect that is shown towards her will be responded by twice the amount of disrespect." It's him. He's the disrespect. To the point where she can actively call upon him and he will appear— always (despite his negative feelings about being used as a tool for another.) At the end of the day, Godzilla loves The Earth (and by proxy, his ma) very much. However— this doesn't change the fact that there is an estranged relationship between the two. Despite the fact that Godzilla will always stand up for The Earth, and will always be the one to snap so that she doesn't have too— this doesn't change the fact that he views himself as everything he hates about what Humanity has done... and because of that, he feels like a stain on her dress. So he wants to be as far away from her as possible. A child of the earth poisoned by humanity to the point of unleashing righteous fury upon all who dare to repeat history. Of course, he assumes she hates him. He's everything she hates, isn't he?

The more I develop things with Vee, the more I will have to post regarding the connection. However, I hope this has been an enjoyable read!! I'm having a lot of fun with this interpretation of the character.

[cauliflowermaterial]

1,2,3,17,21 +any one you want to answer!!

yesss!! thank you!!! i am doin youtube links because that is much easier and spotify hates me <3

your favorite album opener

minute 1:25 is where it's at for this one! (ok imma be honest i very rarely listen to full albums so i am just very lucky that this is technically an album opener lmao)

2. a song starting w/ the same first letter of your first name

of course I could fit mr wood in here! I first heard the live boardwalk version of this song so in truth, it took me a bit to get used to this version. but now i play it on guitar and i love the vibe :)))

3. a song outside of your usual genre

ok this is kinda hard since my "usual genre" is all genres... no joke... like I thought of putting Bella Ciao but then I was like noooo I listen to plenty of protest songs lmao so then i'm like maybe country?? Country Roads perhaps?? but noooo I actually have quite a bit on my playlist lmao... so i'm going with this one since I can only think of one other similar song that I like that's similar to this:

I actually REALLY like this stuff- just wait until the minute mark (or skip there lmao). how did I come across this song you ask? well it's thank to none other than @/brightgoat's absolutely STUNNING animation that i will link as well because you should AT LEAST watch that if not the full song:

I'M NOT MESSING AROUND HERE YOU NEED TO WATCH THIS. IT NEEDS MILLIONS OF VIEWS. THE AMOUNT OF TIME AND EFFORT PUT INTO THIS IS INSANE AND SO SO IMPRESSIVE. I LOVE IT SO MUCH.

17. a song that reminds you of a good time

the chorus hits and all the good vibes just WHOOSH into me man! songs that make me smile fondly everytime. I will ramble because this is one of my faves because it's so special!! as you can see in the video, this is from Top Gun: Maverick– which I went to see with a bunch of friends! i remember seeing the Beach Scene and hearing this song and It Was In That Moment I Knew... I need to know the name of the song. instant love. this is easily my song of the summer! what did I do last summer?? get my pilot's licence!!! and the whole time I was surrounded by some of the best people in the world listening to boppin tunes! it was hands down the best time of my life and this song will always remind me of those good times :) i turn it up whenever it comes on the radio :))

21. a song from a local artist

Better On Your Own is prolly their best known song but I remember when this came out and I fell in love! I'll rank them next to Hippo Campus :) another good song of theirs is Speaking Off The Record

BONUS! My current on repeat song:

the soft music, the lyrics..... such a lovely song. it's very melancholy. as someone who generally hates change and now everything around me is going to change A LOT soon (already has)...... this song is like a hug. very nice very nice.

[al-the-remix]

what are your FAVORITE things to write about steve? he seems very charming

He is so charming 😭 I hope this answers your question! This is like 50% rambling and 50% just speculation.

I mean, first off I just think he's cute...that's at least 90% of my motivation. (I am looking and it is in no way respectful.) But I also just have a soft spot for characters who come across as soft-spoken and serious on the outside but then crack these zingers out of nowhere---either filthy or satirical---and Steve does both, making his internal and external dialogue really fun for me to write. Even more so in contrast to how I like to write Sid: straightforward and always having a lot to say and is ready to say it to whoever is in his direct line of sight (of course this does not count if that person happens to be a reporter...)

I think that contrast adds an interesting tension to any narrative. (At lest how I characterize it) I like to write Steve as very honest and blunt when he does revel something, but mostly keeps the curtains on his inner thoughts and feelings tightly shut, and is more likely to just not say anything in favour of revealing his true feelings VS Sid who is more likely to either admit the truth OR just say what he thinks people want to hear. 

I also find that my favourite part about writing Steve changes depending on the pov. From Steve’s point of view it's fun to feel like you're in the know, as it always is with a character who’s reticent. Especially when the story is duel pov and the other party is constantly misinterpreting their signals. 

And then of course, perhaps more basely, I find it very indulgent to write out my Jupiter-size crush from Sid’s perspective. 😌

Mostly I just find the dynamic between Sid and Steve specifically very interesting, they obviously get along and are very similar (the golden child saviours of their franchises, basically adopted by their club owners and cities, commercial darlings of the NHL...) but with a few key differences. 

Personally, I think Steve is actually closer to how a lot of the fandom used to perceive Sid before they knew much about him: Steve was very often described as shy and mild mannered, and although I think Sid is genuinely humble and down to earth (thanks to his upbringing) he's always had an inherent confidence that I don't think Steve had coming into the league. For one, it was a different era and level of exposure; Steve played on a team in Nepean and then Peterborough (which for those who are uninitiated was not the frenzied cultural moment that was Sidney Crosby at Rimouski). Steve came into the league as a player that was accomplished but not at the level where people would be able anticipate what he would become vs Sid grew up with people already expecting big things from him from an early age so he had to develop the self confidence to withstand that etc etc.

So while they’re both insanely competitive and hard workers I just think Steve's confidence was galvanized a little later in life. Also, from what I've read about Steve it sounded like he had a very (emotionally) conservative upbringing with a stoic father, which might have added to the reservedness vs Sid who's parents come across as very much emotional/emotionally available.

They are both incredibly private and humble: Sid more private than Steve (Sid wont hold hands with his girlfriend in public, etc.) Steve more severely humble than Sid (lol, I have yet to hear about Sid un-retiring one of his own jerseys.)

And beside all that Steve just seems like a guy who really likes to have fun. There’s all the chirping, joke cracking, and gutting one liners, theres the fact that his ring tone was black eyed peas at one point, and that he wanted to be invited to Ovi’s next cup party. 

He’s seemed to have flourished/come out of his shell (publicly) in retirement. Which I love since I love retirement fic, but I also I like in contrast to Sid who hasn’t reached that point in his career yet. As someone who's already lived though a lot of the same life experiences and come out the other side I just think there’s so much room for good emotional angst and dialogue there. And not to be forgotten the ship just wouldn't be a juicy emotionally without the age gap and hero worship 😌