#is something I can agree with

[dailymanners]

Hello, Stranger. By Will Buckingham. Granta; 336 pages; £16.99 The Power of Strangers. By Joe Keohane. Random House; 352 pages; $28. Viking; £16.99 Fractured. By Jon Yates. Harper North; 348 pages; $28.99 and £20

ATTITUDES TO STRANGERS tend to follow a familiar pattern. Children are taught never to speak to unknown grown-ups, especially those regarded by their parents as untrustworthy. The onset of adolescence and young adulthood brings a bursting desire to interact with all sorts of people, particularly the kind who might not elicit family approval. Whether the resulting encounters are sexual or social, they confer a thrilling frisson of escape.

Social circles generally narrow again as people find life-partners, form households and produce offspring of their own. Time becomes scarce; new friendships are often based on sharing the burden of child care. Some people never recover the youthful zest for unforeseen liaisons. Professional duties swell even as parental ones diminish, and the inclination sags. In old age, even if curiosity and charisma remain undimmed, frailty makes new serendipitous connections harder to establish.

But that is not the whole story. In mid-life and beyond people can still experience the joy of a random meeting, however short, which somehow touches a nerve. That might involve nothing more than a smile, or a chance remark that hits an emotional spot; or it might be an unexpectedly deep conversation on a plane or train, a surge of mutual understanding that is life-affirming even if the interlocutor is never seen again. This aspect of the promise and peril of strangers has enticed storytellers—from the rapture of “Brief Encounter” and “Before Sunrise” to the ruin of “Strangers on a Train”. The knowledge that the exchange will be a one-off can permit a delicious, uninhibited frankness.

In the age of covid-19 and Zoom, the chronological pattern has been warped. Instead of their hazy possibilities and risks, strangers have assumed an all-too-literal role as a looming source of infection. During lockdowns they are officially to be avoided. Yet youngsters still long, dangerously, for the ecstasy of communion, not just with edgy individuals but anonymous crowds. People of all ages have come to miss the human stimulation of busy high streets or trains, or the comforting sense of fellowship in a cinema or theatre audience.

So this is an apt moment for three books about meeting strangers. Will Buckingham has written a moving memoir of finding solace, after the death of his life-partner, in travelling and talking in lands such as Myanmar that are culturally distant from his native England. Joe Keohane, an American journalist, argues that communicating empathetically with strangers is vital and potentially life-changing. Jon Yates, who runs a youth charity based in London, frets that deep fissures in Western societies are making it impossible for people to reach, even casually, between classes, religions, ethnicities and generations.

All three authors make sweeping generalisations about the evolution of human society, from hunter-gatherers to the age of Homer and beyond. But they are more interesting when they reflect, using personal experience or scientific research, on how people live and communicate now. In different ways, they all make two separate but related points. First, interacting meaningfully with a new person can bring huge rewards—but it is a skill that must be cultivated and can easily be lost. Second, the self-segregation of modern Western societies means that, for many people, conversing with some fellow citizens seems pointless, undesirable or outlandish. The second problem exacerbates the first: if you consider others beyond the pale, why make the effort to get to know them?

. . .

Mr Buckingham focuses on the pleasures and pitfalls of encounters in remote places where the stakes are lower because the acquaintanceships are bound to be temporary—in a holiday flat-share in Helsinki or while travelling through the Balkans. But, like the other two, he notes that wariness of unfamiliar people is neither new nor insuperable.

Faces look ugly when you’re alone

Mr Keohane and Mr Yates offer tips on befriending strangers. . . Mr Yates discusses the case for a kind of national social service that would encourage youngsters to mix with other groups and generations. Both have homely micro-solutions that readers can apply in daily relations—assume the best of others, remember that most have stories they are longing to tell, react philosophically when a friendly approach is rebuffed.

A telling point that none of the books captures is a paradoxical one: some of the most sophisticated forms of interaction between strangers occur in societies that are chronically divided. Think, for example, of rural Northern Ireland, or of parts of the former Ottoman Empire, such as Lebanon, where residents have lived in separate communal silos. In ways impenetrable to outsiders, the denizens of such places develop perfect antennae for the affiliation of a stranger and adjust their remarks accordingly. The ensuing exchanges occur within well-understood parameters—including a sense that social categories are resilient and pleasantries will not change them. But tact allows people from antagonistic camps to have amicable encounters and transactions.

All three authors are inclined to overstate the ability of brief interactions to stave off conflict. Yet at least this much is true: a capacity to engage with new people in civilised, humane and meaningful ways is a necessary condition for social peace, even if it is not a sufficient one. That points up a half-hidden cost of covid-19. Children educated on screen; teenagers bouncing off the walls; adults working at home; lonely pensioners: more or less everyone’s social skills have been atrophying, with consequences not only for individuals but, perhaps, for the fabric of society.

As lockdowns lift, people are now stumbling back into a world of accidental collisions, some eagerly, some queasily, most with an odd sensation of novelty after a year of hibernation. The lesson of these books is that the easing of restrictions is not just a coveted opportunity to reconnect with those you love and resemble. It also restores a freedom, long taken for granted even if little used, to come to know the profoundly different. ■

[verflares]

(click for higher quality!) draconified link concept ive been chipping away at this past week ..... here's my funny little compendium concept for him:

"A heroic spirit has taken the form of this bestial dragon. Unlike it's kin, this creature exhibits an extremely aggressive disposition. It appears highly territorial, and will relentlessly chase down those who disturb its skywide patrols - of which it seems to be endlessly searching for either a long-time vassal or foe. Unfortunately, it seems the spirit within has long since forgotten exactly who it was looking for…"

[hiraeix]

back at it again with the hozier lyrics

[batfamhyperfixation]

Jason: Ew, this tastes gross *turning to Dick next to him and holding it out to him* try it

Dick: What? No way, you just said it tastes gross, why would I try it?

Jason: fine *turns to Tim on the other side of him, holding it out* try this

Tim: *takes a bite* Yeah, disgusting

Damian: Oh please, Drake's a baby, let me try it

Tim: *passes it to Damian*

Damian: *Tries it* Eww, yeah, no, this is gross

Steph: *Takes it from Damian, trying it* makes me want to vomit, try it Cass

Cass: *Takes a bite* yeah no, please never get this again, you want some Duke?

Duke: Why not *takes a bite* Meh, it's not horrible, it's just not good

Dick: Well now I feel left out

Duke: *hands it to Dick*

Dick: *takes a bite*

Dick:

Bruce, in the background: *slaps his forehead* why are they like this

Jason: You wanna try Bruce?

Bruce, dad who feels bad when he says no to his kids: *pained smile* *through clenched teeth* Suuuure...

Dick: *hands it to Bruce*

Bruce: *takes a bite, spits it out into his napkin* Awful, truly atrocious, I'm going to sue, that was so awful

[inkskinned]

it mattered because when my brother asked me what if this is the happiest you'll ever be? the best you'll ever get? the thing i felt was fear, not peace. everybody thought you were so perfect for me. even i thought you were "helping me grow". i had to challenge every internal clock. make myself more thoughtful, more kind, more beautiful.

i told my therapist it was good because i like the changes i made and there's something so strong about saying i did that. the problem is that i can like the difference all i want, but i changed for you. something akin to getting your name tattooed, all my progress is stamped with fuck you.

it was the happiest i'd ever been and also the best i'd ever gotten. i would still get in the car and think what the fuck just happened.

[canisalbus]

I made a @littleguysdaily stat chart for Machete :), featuring my own wonderful mspaint art

.

[crescentfool]

orpheus and thanatos 💚

[caffeiiine]

kunikidas ideals have the potential to be self destructive and kunikida can be considered passively suicidal, he is also not the polite and respectful man fanon makes him out to be- *gets shot*

[khaopybara]

GMM's Bisexuals of 2023

(of shows that I've watched/am watching at least)

+ Honorable Mention

[strawberrybabydog]

if we keep doing uwu soft little vampire and big strong dumb werewolf how are we going to ever break out of gender binary

if i see 1 more artist make the masculine/larger/stronger human partner into the werewolf im going to freak out

lycanthropy is about losing yourself. please i am begging you to make someone random, someone unequipped, into a werewolf. please. small scrawny werewolves who are weak and scared, feminine werewolves, werewolves who struggle with the idea of taking something's life (even another animal for food) werewolves who refuse to get dirty because they're averse. werewolves need more than 1 mental illness yall

its kind of a joke at the beginning but not really. make an insane jacked vampire and her petite femme werewife with braided patterned fur or something; make the vampire a seamstress who wont quit until her werewife has the perfect fitting dress for her new furry body. stop with the "oh this character is butch/masc, CLEARLY they would make a good werewolf" shut uuuuupp be a LITTLE more creative. come on!!! do you really think every single werewolf has a premium gym membership? quit drawing them like it !!!

[uncanny-tranny]

The bourgeois or "exploiting class" doesn't inherently include the person who gets their nails done biweekly, or the disabled person who has a carer, or the guy who got a $70 video game for full-price, or the person who relies on medication (yes even the ones you don't think they "need"), or anything else like this. None of these people will, on average, have the ability to exploit workers by means of ownership or whatever.

While you are busy fighting with fellow workers, you are still being exploited by your boss, by capitalism, by (potentially) not having healthcare, by being overworked and underpaid, and so are they.

[redhotarsenic]

@nowfallc PICTURE!! FOR YOU!! PLEASE TAKE IT!! <3

[starflungwaddledee]

Hear me out…Meta Knight and Starstruck

✧˖°.✧ gravity ✧˖°.✧ ɡravɪti (noun) 1. the force that attracts a body towards the centre of the earth or towards any other physical body having mass 2. the degree of intensity of gravity, measured by acceleration 3. extreme importance; seriousness 4. solemnity of manner

[segasys]

rivulet

[bunny-heels]

the irony of grieving for someone who's alive

ko-fi

[aquickstart]

what do you mean saltburn is not a great movie. what do you mean its bad but pretty and fun. have you never longed to escape the confines of your environment. have you never pretended your way into acceptance. have you never longed to break free of this need and not care about the damage you wreak in your way just to let your monster run free. at the very least have you never hated whatever you loved and longed for what you lost after having made the decision to lose it for the better. was it not cathartic