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really-fanny-longbottom · 6 days

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NEVER YOURS

Pairings: Azriel x Reader, Azriel x Elain, Lucien x Reader

Summary: Azriel never regretted his decisions so much like he does right now.

Warnings: Angst (like a lot), fluff (also a lot because we need a balance)

Words: 6.1k (I got carried away, hehe)

Author's Note: Hi everyone! I was supposed to post the prequel to Second Chance (where the batboys find the reader), but I started writing, and this is what came out! It's different from the other two fics I wrote, but I kinda liked it, anyways I made a little reference to Percy Jackson.

Enjoy!

You were born in Day Court during the longest and the warmest day of the year: Summer Solstice. Even though it's not a custom to exchange gifts on that holiday, your parents always told you that you were their greatest gift and that the sun shined brighter that day like he knew that you would be entering this world very soon.

Your father was Helion's best and longest friend, and he had a place in his Court as his second in command and advisor. Your mother was the lead healer of the Court. She was one of the most powerful and talented healers of Prythian, being a very close second to Madja.

Due to your parents' jobs, you grew up in the Day Court Palace and close to Helion, who didn't just happen to be your High Lord but also your godfather.

Your parents reconsider that maybe making Helion your godfather had been a mistake because of how much he spoiled you. On your 4th birthday, he gave you a black baby pegasus as a present, which you decided to name him Blackjack. When he discovered that you liked reading, he had a private library built in your room with all kinds of books. When you were seven and heard an old male saying that females should only wear dresses, you only wore pants for the next three months and of course, Helion made sure you had every type of pants at your disposal.

When your parents tried to scold him, he just scoffed with his only response being, "She's my goddaughter. What else am I supposed to do?" with a big grin plastered in his face.

You weren't Helion's child, but he always treated you like one, and that never changed, especially after your parents' death.

Your favorite thing about your parents was their mating bond. After you learned that mates are rare and a blessing, it made every single thing about your parents' love even more unique and pure.

You saw first hand what true love is really like. You saw how much they loved, cared, supported, and protected each other. You saw loyalty and honesty in their deepest forms. Seeing your parents' mating bond made you wish to the stars for a mate, and that one day, you would be blessed enough to find him.

But you also saw how deep a mating bond could go. You saw it first hand, too.

You saw it when your mother died after getting infected by a rare disease while trying to help her patients. Her death destroyed your father. The pain and the grief of losing your mother, his mate, and the love of his life were so big that your father followed her into the next life a few days later, so they could start their next journey together.

Before he died, your father made Helion promise him that he would take care of you, which he agreed without hesitation. He became more protective of you. He couldn't stop thinking how unfair it was for you to lose your parents at such a young age, only eleven years old, when Helion had them for centuries.

Your godfather made sure to provide you with anything you needed from the best education to the best clothes and when your healing powers start manifesting and you decide to follow your mother's steps, Helion called in a favor to Thesan to see if he could teach you himself. The High Lord of Dawn was happy to accept, and so were you at the thought of having him as your teacher.

You moved to Dawn Court for a year where you learned everything about being a healer, not only with the High Lord himself but also with his best healers.

You became one of the best: talented, powerful, gifted, and wise. Just like your mother.

Madja was looking for an apprentice at the time you returned to Day, and when she heard about your skills, she asked for you. Rhysand reached out to Helion with Madja's offer: you would be her apprentice, work in the clinic with her but you would also assist her if she ever needed to go to a patient's residence, and would learn everything she could teach you.

It wasn't needed to convince you to agree. You had heard about Madja and her healing, after Thesan, she was the healer you wanted to work with the most, so of course you were more than happy to have a chance to have her as your mentor. Rhysand added that you would be welcome to stay in one of his personal residences, the House of Wind, during your time in Velaris.

You were only supposed to stay in the Night Court for a year, but that was before you met the Shadowsinger.

However, despite wanting the apprenticeship more than anything, if you had known what would happen when you agreed to go to the Night Court, you would never have accepted the offer.

Azriel couldn't sleep.

No matter how much he tried, he couldn't. Not with tomorrow so close, not when he knew what was waiting for him in the morning.

The past was haunting him tonight, his thoughts hadn't stopped since he had been informed earlier of tomorrow's meeting. So now, here he was, trying to keep his eyes open even though his body was protesting for him to do the opposite.

But he was fighting that need because every time he closed his eyes, you were all he saw. Your beautiful face with your sparkling eyes, your smooth hair, your pointy ears, your sweet voice, and your soft laughter. You were haunting his thoughts like a punishment for all those years ago.

So all he could do now was to sit on the edge of his balcony with his legs hanging off while waiting for the sun to be born, and remember how things used to be before he destroyed everything.

Everything was perfect in the beginning. Velaris was beautiful, the people were kind, and the pastries were absolutely delicious.

The only thing you actually missed, besides Helion, was the warmth of the sun like no other Court had but the Day Court. But that was just the Day citizen in you talking.

Your apprenticeship was going amazing. You and Madja had instantly connected, and you were learning so much. Two weeks later, you were already attending your own patients without supervision. You really had a gift, and every time Madja complimented your powers, you gave all the credits to your genes, to your mom. It warmed your heart knowing that the Mother had blessed you with this part of her. In this way, it felt like she was always with you.

The House of Wind felt just like home, and you adjusted perfectly. The Inner Circle had welcomed you with open arms, and you got along with everyone. They thought you and Morrigan would be the closest of all, but they got a big surprise when it turned out to be you and Azriel.

The Shadowsinger was different from everyone you ever met. Everyone in Day was so loud, open, and extroverted. But not him. He was calm, reserved, and difficult to read, but with time, you ended up finding out that the two of you were more alike than you thought. You were able to go through the shell that Azriel had so perfectly built around him over the centuries.

A friendship was born. Every day, Azriel would fly you to the clinic and then back to the House. You explored Velaris together and made your personal mission to try every single restaurant and bakery from the City of Starlight.

You walked along the Sidra and even stopped once in a while to dance along the melodies that the musicians were playing. You would read together whether that was in the library, in your room, or in his. You even started training with him and sometimes, Cassian.

You became each other's person. When a day at the clinic was hard or you would lose a patient, he was there to hug and comfort you, and you found yourself doing the same for him about his missions. So you decided to take the next step and spoke about your parents' death, how much still affected you losing them.

And in that moment, Azriel realized how much trust you put in him, so he decided to return it and opened about his past, his family, and his hands. You listened to every word, cleaned every tear, and held him for as long as he needed.

You found yourself falling in love with him a little more day by day, and it only took you a few months to realize that you were completely in love.

The day the bond snapped was one of the happiest days of your life. It happened during the most beautiful celebration in the Night Court: Starfall.

Your hair was tied in a long braid that reached down to your waist, decorating the braid were small yellow daylilies. You were wearing a golden dress that fit perfectly against your sun-kissed skin. The dress had a slit on the left side that went up to the top of your thigh, a single strap held the dress on your right shoulder and when you turned around, whoever was behind you could have a perfect view of your naked back. Golden jewels rested on your ears and neck.

You looked like a goddess, one blessed by the sun itself. You were shining just like a Day Court citizen should.

Azriel standed next to you in the balcony while gazing at the spirits passing. Both of your hands rested on the stone of the balcony, and when you went to adjust your hand, it brushed against Azriel's. At the new feeling, you looked up to find his eyes, only to see the Shadowsinger already looking at you. In that moment, with the touching of your hands and the meeting of your eyes, the world stopped.

Your hands start interviewing, and everything else just disappears.

It was just the two of you and the sound of your heartbeats. And then, a golden thread appeared and started tying your hearts and souls.

Azriel held your free hand and pressed it against his own chest, right where his heart laid. You followed his action, freeing your intertwined hands and putting his hand on your chest, above your heart.

With the final loop of the golden thread around your hearts, Azriel bent down and kissed you.

That moment couldn't be more beautiful and magical even if you tried. You had finally found the mate that you had wished to the stars all those years ago.

Everything was perfect. You had everything you wanted and more. You lived in a beautiful city that you learned to love and were starting to call it home. You had the job of your life, working alongside one of your idols. Amazing friends that made you feel welcomed and part of a little family. And finally, your mate, the male you were in love with, long before that beautiful and sacred golden thread. Everything was perfect.

But of course, nothing lasts forever. And all of that disappeared when Elain Archeron came into the picture.

Ten years. He couldn't believe that much time had passed. All those years without you.

It had been ten years since the last time he saw you. Ten years since he had heard something regarding you. Ten years since he had broken your heart. And ten years since he had made the biggest mistake of his entire existence.

You had moved back to Day Court after that day, after what happened and after what he did.

The High Lord of Day had forbidden Azriel from seeing you and from trying to contact you in any way. And months later, when the rumors of a certain Shadowsinger flying above the Palace in hopes to get a glimpse of you reached his ears, Helion banned him from his Court.

Helion had always been a very charismatic and loving person. He's kind, generous, and a very good friend. He gets along with almost everyone, always joking around and laughing. Some people may say that he's the nicest and kindest High Lord that Prythian has ever seen.

When problems arise, he always tries to find a solution to solve them or if a solution is not possible, a way to improve them. But not this time. Not when it comes to you and his son, Lucien.

Because your heart wasn't the only one to be shattered that day, no, Lucien's heart was a victim, too. So, from that moment, everything that Helion did was to protect you and Lucien, to make sure that you felt safe, that you had space and time to heal. You thought that was ironic, considering you were a healer yourself.

Azriel's banishment wasn't the only consequence from the events of that day.

That day also cost the alliance between the Day Court and the Night Court, and when the alliance fell apart, so did Helion and Rhysand's friendship.

But Azriel wasn't the only one to blame for all of this. Elain Archeron was guilty, too. She, too, was banished from the Day Court and forbidden to contact Lucien in any way.

But unlike Azriel, Elain's actions cause far more consequences than his.

The Autumn Court followed the same decisions as the Day Court. The banishment of Azriel and Elain and the prohibition of any kind of contact with Lucien. Eris, now the new High Lord of the Autumn Court after Beron's death, didn't take lightly to what happened to his little brother.

The two of them had reconnected after Eris became High Lord. They talked through everything that had happened in the last centuries, made peace with their past, and decided to move forward together. Now, the brothers were inseparable and had the kind of relationship they had always wanted since they were younger. So when Eris heard what had happened, he considered those actions as a personal attack.

He went as far as to offer Lucien the opportunity to choose the Blood Duel, which his little brother refused, saying that all of this had already caused enough pain. Eris wasn't angry just because of Lucien. He was angry because of you, too. You were the first person to give him the benefit of the doubt, the first one to not judge him, unlike the others you tried to get to know him, to be his friend and he let you.

You were the first one to know the real Eris, to know what he hid behind the mask. Therefore, you had a special place in his heart. Even if you didn't share the same blood, you were part of his family.

But that didn't stop with Day and Autumn. Spring joined them, too.

Despite everything that happened and the fact that they were still working on their friendship, Tamlin's loyalty remained with Lucien. Spring had been Lucien's home for decades, and with that came a brotherhood between the two of them.

Needless to mention that Jurian and Vassa's loyalties also remained with Lucien.

To everyone outside the situation, all of this may seem overreacted and exaggerated. But to everyone involved, it's not.

After all, you and Lucien almost died. That's what happens when a mating bond is rejected.

Azriel couldn't believe things had turned out this way. He was so sure that the Cauldron was wrong, that he belonged with Elain. Three sisters for three brothers. How more poetic could it be?

There were signals everywhere: Feyre with Rhysand, Nesta with Cassian, and Elain with him. Elain wouldn't go close to Lucien or talk to him, but she would sit next to him whether during dinners or on the couch, she would talk to him, and requested his company when she went to the garden or to the city. Even his shadows disappeared every time he was with her.

Weren't those signals clear enough? They were meant to be. The Cauldron was wrong.

So Azriel did what he thought was right. He rejected the mating bond with you, and Elain did the same with Lucien.

He never thought that the rejection of the bond would've almost cost your life.

That memory still gave him nightmares to this day. How pale you turned, how you sank to your knees with your hand pressed against your chest, tears running free down your cheeks and muffled screams leaving your lips. How much pain you had suffered and how he had been the cause of it. How once, not that long ago, he had been the reason for your smiles, laughs, and giggles.

But that memory wasn't his. It was Rhysand's. Rhys, who had to go through your mind shields, and knock you unconscious so the pain would stop. But that memory led him to another memory.

The memory of that day and the things that had followed after he shattered your heart.

Azriel wasn't there the moment it happened. No, he was too busy kissing Elain after admitting how much they craved each other.

And while he kissed Elain, he felt that golden thread tying the two of you breaking and start slowly to disappear.

Nothing could have prepared him for that last memory of you when he and Elain were summoned to the River House a few hours later.

Rhys had shown him not as a courtesy but as a lesson of how much his actions can affect others. But you weren't just some other. You were his mate. Former mate. Ex-mate.

Azriel made a move to go find you. He needed to explain it to you, and he needed you to understand, but you were already gone.

Rhys told him that after you regained consciousness, Lucien took you with him back to Day Court.

Lucien. Who you had become instantly friends with since the male's arrival in Velaris. You had treated him just like you were when you moved to the Night Court. You showed him the city, the good restaurants and the best pastries, and also told him about Helion, now that he knew the High Lord was his father and he was his Heir. You wanted him to feel like home, just like you did.

When Azriel made his intentions clear to go to Day and find you, Rhys showed him the letter Helion had sent. The one that forbidden him from seeing you and from trying to contact you in any way. The one that also had the same indications to Elain regarding Lucien. And that if any of them tried to disobey his orders, there would be consequences.

Azriel knew of protective the male was of you and that he would do anything to protect his family, so for a split second, Azriel found himself fearing the High Lord.

Rhysand also ordered them to stay away from the two of you, stating that they had already created enough problems and the Night Court could not afford a war with Day.

After they left his office, Rhys sat down on his chair, trying to think how he was gonna solve this. His mind kept going back to you and Lucien.

He was there when Lucien came for you, the red headed male was also pale and every few minutes, his hand would press to his chest in pain, his eyes were still red, probably from the tears he had shed.

Rhys knew that Helion's letter wouldn't be the only one he would receive that day. And like he was right, three more letters arrived during it. First from Autumn, then Spring and the last one from the Band of Exiles.

Rhys passed a hand through his black hair and released a long sigh, Azriel and Elain actions had just cost four allies to the Night Court.

When you and Lucien arrived in Day, Helion almost fell to his knees at your sight.

You were in Lucien's arms, your eyes half open with tears still following down your cheeks. One of your hands was against your chest, rubbing small circles in a way of trying to get rid of the pain. Lucien wasn't much better.

Helion headed towards you and started examining you for injuries, but he found nothing, and when confusion made his way to his features, Lucien told him everything.

The confusion was replaced by anger, but the anger wasn't just directed towards the Shadowsinger and the middle Archeron sister. Some of it was towards himself.

Towards himself, because seeing you like that, Helion felt that he had broken the promise he made to your dad and that this was his fault.

Without giving time for any more thoughts to fill his mind, Helion led Lucien to your room, where the Heir laid you on the bed. You had fallen asleep in his arms with your cheeks still stained.

Lucien sat on the chair by your desk that was placed in front of your bed and said to Helion that he would stay with you. Helion gave him a firm nod, remembering that Lucien didn't have a room yet in his Palace, but he was about to fix that.

Helion didn't waste any time after making sure that the two of you were okay for now.

He called two of his servants to prepare a room for the young Heir and went straight to his office where he wrote the letter and sent it to Rhysand.

The next week's were a complicated ones but showed that time was the best healer.

You no longer spend the days locked in your room alone. You started to eat properly again and went back to work. Day by day, you were smiling more and sometimes making jokes.

Lucien improved as well. He decided to live in the Day Court for the time being and took his place as Helion's second in command. His relationship with Helion was also getting stronger over time. They were making up for the lost time.

But that wasn't the only thing that changed. Your relationship with Lucien also changed.

You got closer than ever, due to the fact you were the only ones who knew what the other was going through.

You found comfort in each other's presence and started spending more time together to the point where you became each other's favorite person.

Little by little, you start helping each other heal. You started putting back together the pieces that had been broken, and the pain started slowly fading until the day that it didn't hurt anymore.

You two mended your hearts and souls, and for the first time, in a long time, you were full again.

Your friendship grew, and so did your feelings for each other.

Azriel couldn't believe how wrong he had been. Because the Cauldron wasn't wrong, it had never been wrong.

He was the one who was wrong. Right from the beginning.

He and Elain had tried a relationship after yours and Lucien's departure. It worked for six months until it didn't.

Azriel questioned himself why the relationship was starting to fail and why being with Elain was starting to feel wrong.

It didn't take him too long to understand the reason. It was because she wasn't you. He found out that the reason his shadows disappear every time he was with Elain wasn't because they were destined but because they were with you.

His shadows would leave him and Elain to go find you, like they were stating that they wouldn't betray you, that they chose you. On the day he broke up with Elain, he found his shadows in your old room, which once was filled with colors, books, paintings, and light, and now was empty, dusty, and dark. The shadows were swimming around your Starfall dress, the one you wore on the day your bond had snapped. The sight of the dress was painful, and he understood why it had been left behind.

Azriel had tried to apologize, he flew to Day Court and around the Palace trying to find you but he never did and the next day Helion sent a letter with his and Elain's banishment, making Autumn and Spring to have the same decision.

He understood why, they were trying to protect you and Lucien, and even though he didn't have the right, he just wanted to know if you were okay. Ironic, considering he was the reason you were suffering.

He asked Rhys several times if he knew something about you, and Rhys revealed to him that you weren't talking to him or the other members of the Inner Circle either. You had stated that it was too early and still very painful.

So they respected your decision and kept their distance.

That had caused Azriel's guilt to grow even more. How he wished for Nesta to still have her powers so he could go back in time and repair all of this.

The light of the sun broke his thoughts. The sun was finally making its appearance in the orange and yellow sky.

Azriel released a long breath and looked at the clock perched on his bedroom wall.

The morning was here, and he was only two hours away from seeing you.

The Inner Circle stood at the entrance of the Day Court Palace.

Helion had lifted the banishment for this meeting with yours and Lucien consent.

Both of you said that it had been a long time and that the past should stay in the past, but that didn't mean you would be accepting any apologies today.

Koschei was on the rise again, and Prythian needed to come together once more. Right now, your past didn't matter.

The doors swung open, and the Inner Circle made their way inside. A servant led them to the conference room located in the same hallway as Helion's office on the first floor of the Palace.

They sat at the marble table while the servant informed them, "The High Lord will be here in a few minutes." Receiving a nod and a 'Thank you' from Rhysand, the servant left.

Rhys started, "Y/N and Lucien will also be in this meeting. Now, Helion was nice enough to allow the two of you back here, so do not ruin this." He finished while looking at Azriel and Elain, making them both nod their heads.

Helion entered the room, and the Inner Circle raised from their seats. The High Lord of the Day Court made his way to the head of the table. He turned to the side where Rhys, Feyre, and his Inner Circle stood at his left before offering his hand to Rhys to shake it.

Taken by surprise, Rhys needed a few seconds to process what was happening before accepting his hand. Once they had shaken hands, everyone returned to their seats, but not before Helion sent a disapproving look in Azriel's and Elain's direction.

A few minutes into the meeting, the door to the conference room opened again. And there you were.

You were dressed in Day attire, a beautiful white dress that hugged your body, with your hair loosen and golden jewelry adorned your neck and ears. Lucien was by your side also wearing Day attire, one that matched Helion's, with your hand in his.

The Inner Circle held their breaths at your sight. It had been ten years, but all the memories came flashing back to them.

You looked the same, but when you two approached the table, that's when they saw it and shock spread all over their faces.

Azriel couldn't believe what he was seeing. He didn't know what he was expecting to see at this meeting, but it wasn't this.

It wasn't the golden ring that you and Lucien had matching on your left hands informing him that you were married that shocked him.

It was the small and round belly that your free hand was resting on and the sweet vanilla scent that was filling the air. The scent of yours and Lucien's baby.

"Apologies for our delay," Lucien started, then looking in your direction with a smile continued "Someone had a big appetite this morning." He ended with a laugh.

You looked at his gaze, a genuine smile on your lips. "Shut up." You whispered.

Lucien grabs the back of your chair, pulling it to give you enough space to sit. "Thank you, my love." You said while watching him taking the seat at your right, making you stay seated between him and Helion.

For the first time since you entered the room, you looked at the people in front of you. "Night Court," you greeted with a small smile.

Feyre was the first to say "Congratulations Y/N. And Lucien."

Lucien spoke this time. "Thank you, Feyre." He rested his hand on your belly.

"How far long are you?" Rhysand's voice reached your ears.

Looking in his direction, you answered, "23 weeks. Lucien thinks it's a girl, but I think it's a boy," you added. That made Rhys smile.

"I always took you for a boy mom." Amren's voice surprised you and couldn't help but smile at her words. "Congratulations to you two, the Mother knows you deserve it." She finished with a genuine smile.

Lucien looked at Azriel and Elain before directing his eyes to the ancient one "Yes we do. Thank you, Amren." Lucien paused for a second before turning in Helion's direction and continuing. “Let's not keep holding on to the meeting. Please go on, dad."

Helion proceeded with the meeting, but Azriel didn't listen to a word that was said. He couldn't tear his eyes from you and Lucien.

There was no doubt of the love you two shared, not when it was written in both of your eyes. He didn't miss Lucien caresing your belly, and pushing a strand of hair behind your ear, passing his thumb over your jaw and kissing your cheek after.

Or how you rested your right hand on top of his on your belly while your left passed through his long red hair before resting around his shoulders and your smile while doing it.

What bigger proof did he need of your love if not for the baby you were carrying? Lucien's baby, he kept telling himself. Not his. Lucien's.

Jealousy invaded his body, but there was nothing he could do. He made his decision ten years ago, and now he had to live with it.

Lost in his thoughts, he only realized the meeting was over when everyone started standing. Rhys and Helion were finishing talking, and when the doors opened one more time, Eris Vanserra walked in with a little ginger boy in his arms. He couldn't be more than five years old.

He looked exactly like Lucien, except for his eyes. Those were yours.

Azriel's heart sank, and it sank even more a few seconds later, when the little boy spotted you and Lucien. You already had a baby and you were about to have your second.

With a big smile appearing on his sweet face, the little boy almost shouted, "Mommy! Daddy!" The boy jumped from his uncle's arms and ran to you.

You bend down and gather the happy boy in your arms before standing again and passing a hand through his ginger curls and saying, "Hi baby." You peppered his face with kisses making him laugh even more "I thought you were having fun with your uncle." You said looking at your brother in law.

Your son pouted “Uncle Eris doesn't know how to play. He onlys wants to do the boring stuff mommy.”

Everyone in the room chuckled, Eris gasped with fake hurt “Excuse me?”

“Elijah.” Lucien chuckled and said to your son after joining your side “Don't be rude to your uncle.”

“But it’s the truth, daddy.” Elijah hid his face on your neck.

Eris approached the little family with a smile directed to his nephew. "Sorry. I tried to keep him entertained, but he just kept asking about you two."

Lucien noticed his older brother had paint and glitter on his white shirt and laughed at the thought of his son giving him a hard time before exclaiming, "It's alright, brother. We were about to leave anyway."

The little boy settled in your arms and rested his head against yours, Lucien started rubbing his back when the little boy caught the sight of his grandfather and asked before anyone could stop him "Grandpa, how was the meeting with the idiots from the Night Court?"

The room went quiet, and a few gasps escaped. At your son's words, you turned to look at Helion, now on mom's mood. "Helion! How many times do we have to tell you not to speak like that in front of him?"

The room erupted in laughter at your statement. The air became lighter, and Helion put his hands in surrender, promising you that it wouldn't happen again.

You gave him an incredulous look, saying that you didn't believe him. Your son wrapped his tiny arms around your neck and rested his head on your shoulder with a yawn leaving his lips.

You rubbed your son's back while speaking to him. "Cmon Elijah, let's leave before your grandpa comes up with a new bad word for you to learn."

“Bad grandpa” your son agreed with you while earning new chuckles from the Night Court.

Even though he was trying to hold his smile, Azriel failed, your son was too adorable.

You turned your gaze to the Inner Circle and gave them a smile. "It was good to see you all."

"You too, Y/N. I missed you." Cassian replied.

Your smile stretched before telling him, "I missed you too, Cass."

The nickname made his heart ache. Maybe there's still a chance for you to reconnect.

You turned to look behind you, meeting your husband's eyes "You're coming Lu?"

A pink blush made its way to Lucien's cheeks "Of course, my love" The Heir looked at his father "We'll see you at dinner, dad. Night Court." He said giving the Inner Circle a small nod before joining you and wrapping his arm around your waist and giving a kiss to your now sleeping son.

Amren spoke again “See I told you were a boy mom.” A smile never leaving her face.

“You're right. If this baby happens to be a boy as well, I'm gonna be in trouble.” You replied with a arm holding your son and while the other made it's way to your belly.

“No your not, you're gonna be great.” Nesta spoke, a genuine smile on her lips “We already can see you are.” She gestured to the little boy sleeping in your arms.

“Thank you, Nes.” You were grateful for her words.

On your way out, you met Azriel's eyes but you couldn't find the words so you simply gave him a nod with a small smile and Azriel returned the gesture.

When the door closed, Amren was the first to break the silence "Well, the Mother has a sense of humor."

Everyone turned to look at her but she focused her gaze on Azriel and Elain "You rejected them because you believed you belonged with one another only for your relationship to fail six months later. And now," she released a laugh "your former mates found their way towards each other. Fell in love, got married, had a son and have another baby on the way. Ironic isn't it?" She said with the feline smile returning to her lips.

It was Helion who spoke next, amusement all over his face "Indeed. I guess karma is a bitch." He sent a disapproving look one more time in the direction of the two people who almost cost him his family before exiting the room.

Amren's and Helion's words stung but Azriel knew it was nothing but the truth. He realized in that moment, that despite your life now and how things turned out, you would never forgive him.

He had lost you forever and now he had to live with regret for the rest of his life. After all, you were no longer his.

Author's note: Thank you for reading! I wasn't sure if someone wanted to be tag on this fic so I didn't do it. But I'm thinking in making a general taglist so if you wish to be added let me know. The next fic I'm gonna post will be the prequel of Second Chance. 😊 Also, the beautiful dividers belong to @tsunami-of-tears

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youraverageaemondsimp · 9 months

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“Meant for him” // Stalker!Aemond Targaryen x Niece!Reader [ONE SHOT]

THIS IS A DARK FIC SO PLEASE READ THE WARNINGS BEFORE INDULGING // based on this request.

WARNINGS: MDNI! heavy noncon to dubcon, canon typical incest, creepy behavior, jealousy, dark!aemond, possessiveness, p in v sex, breeding kink, knife kink, pain kink, dacryphilia(?), violence, + not proofread!

block the tag #MAE:DARK!CONTENT to avoid seeing dark content from me.

You wished you hadn't ventured out alone at this ungodly hour, the keep was deadly silent except your footsteps, you got lost, having not been here for a while and now you were just walking around trying to remember the pathways until you felt someone grab you from behind, slapping a hand over your mouth so you don't scream and dragging you to a more secluded area.

You struggled in the man's tight grip, writhing and kicking, but he remained firm and kept dragging you until he shoved you roughly against the wall, your head making hard contact with the brick wall, causing pain to shoot up your skull, making you close your eyes and wince.

You finally opened them to see the familiar head of platinum-blonde and a violet eye, you frowned, it was your uncle, Aemond.

“Fucking cunt, playing hard to get.” he sneers at you, you felt panic rise in your veins.

Aemond has been after you for many years, from the moment you were born to now, he was ever the dutiful son in everyone's eyes, but to you, he was a force not to be reckoned with.

What started off as curiosity to see his niece at a young age, manifested into pure obsession and twisted love for you, As a child, he had asked his mother to betroth you to him, your age gap wasn't that big, only being two years younger.

Alicent was reluctant at first, because she knew you were a bastard but saw this as an opportunity to make amends, but rhaenyra refused, saying that you were too young, being only seven, and Aemond just nine.

Aemond was frustrated, you were his birthright, you'll be betrothed to him in the future anyway so why not just do it now? He liked you very much, he followed you in secret, when he wasn't studying or training with his brother, he would be stalking you.

He would collect things you left behind to keep as some kind of twisted souvenirs.

And then came the driftmark incident, you weren't involved in any of it, sleeping soundly but you were woken up, being a child, you were terrified when you entered the chamber to find Aemond's face all bloodied up, his face being stitched by the maester, and then you turned your head to the side to find your brothers bloody too, not as much as Aemond, but you rushed over to them.

After they had explained what happened, you felt angry, he insulted your brothers? You also felt bad for him because he lost his eye but it angered you more to see your brothers hurt, you shared the same womb after all.

In that time, Aemond proposed for you to be betrothed to him once again, saying how Lucerys has a debt to pay, but he's willing to move on if your hand is promised to him, and Viserys also thought it was a good idea, but you blatantly refused, in front of everyone.

And then Alicent went crazy, coming towards Lucerys with a knife but your mother had stopped her in time, the situation terrified you, and she slashed your mothers arm when pulling away, and reading the room, Aemond stepped in bitterly, saying it was a fair exchange to de-escalate the situation. Even though he knew deep down that it was never fair.

And that's when his liking for you took a turn, you dared reject him in front of everyone, he never forget about it.

Over the years Alicent has sent few ravens, proposing the same thing over and over again, but you refused when your mother had bought them up, saying you won't be marrying someone that dared to insult your family's honour.

Aemond knew you would say no, but he still asked his mother regardless, Alicent knew her son was going mad and was about to tip over the edge, and she wouldn't know how to deal with that.

Just then, Vaemond bought a petition to question Lucerys' succession to driftmark, and your family returned to the keep, Aemond's mind was racing with your thoughts, he wondered how you looked now, he knew you would've grown into a beautiful woman.

And so when he spotted you with your brothers through his periphery, he was excited and it made him defeat cole in the training, earning applause, before he addressed your brothers, “Nephews, have you come to train?” he asked before focused his attention on them, they were speechless.

“Niece,” he began and you looked at him with a frown, he took in your appearance before a smile grew on his face, “You've grown.” he stated and you never wanted to punch him so bad, that was until you were interrupted by the entrance of Vaemond.

The court had ended with Lucerys being reaffirmed as the heir to driftmark and with Vaemond's head on the floor, cut cleanly by your step father, daemon. You admired him a lot.

Alicent once again proposed your betrothal in private to your mother, as much as your mother loved the idea, she was planning on betrothing you to Cregan stark, and so alicent nodded sadly.

And the dinner? It was a mess.

Everything was fine until Viserys left the room, and the pig arrived, Luke let out mocking laughs looking at Aemond, and so he slammed his fist on the table before picking up the wine glass and toasting to your brothers, he was already pissed off from the news his mother delivered to him before dinner begun and now this ticked him off even further.

'Strong boys.' he had called them, which pissed both Jace and Luke off, and so it ended in such mess, being sent to your chambers by your mother.

You went out for a walk when everyone was asleep, not being able to stand the suffocation in your chambers, you didn't realise then that it would be such a big mistake.

“U-uncle please-” you begged in his grip, his hand shot out to grab your neck, cutting off your air supply which had you choking, clawing at his hands to make him let go of you, kicking your feet.

He pushed you further against the wall before pressing his forehead against yours, “How many years will you have me toiling after you? I fucking wanted you. Yet you refused me. Each and every fucking time.” he grip on your throat tightened, making you see stars and you struggled in his grip.

“You are to be betrothed to Cregan Stark? Do you think he'll marry you if I ruined you?” those words made your eyes widen, surely he isn't suggesting that.

“N-no-” you croak, his hand leaves your throat and you gasp for air, breathing heavily, and then he presses his dagger to your throat, not cutting you but enough to have to stop moving.

He undoes his breeches, pulling out his semi hard cock and giving it a few pumps, you dared not to move because if you did, the dagger would pierce through your skin and you would bleed out.

He began to hike your skirt up gathering them in one place before he pressed himself against you, you sobbed when you felt his cock rubbing against your cunt, he slammed his lips against you in a rough kiss, you didn't kiss him back, just cried. He licked your tears away before pulling back with a smirk. You looked at him with teary eyes.

His free hand cupped your cunt before he rubbed small circles on your clit, you gasp as he presses meanly against the flesh.

Unsatisfied with the position, Aemond throws you onto the ground, you make sure to land on your back and avoid getting your head hurt again, but your back burns with pain at the impact, causing you to wince. Aemond straddles you, skirt gathered in your lap as you cry out, he slaps your face before shutting you up with a hand over your mouth.

“Do you know how much I wanted you? How much I pined after you? You rejected me. I still haven't forgotten.” he spits on your face.

He moves himself down and spreads your legs wide, you try to push him away with your free hands but you fail, he lines up his cock against your entrance before prodding at the opening with it, “A-aemond— uncle, please stop” you say weakly.

He kisses trails kisses up for your neck, before finding your sensitive spot and sucking in the skin there, causing you to whine, he pulls away before grabbing his dagger once again and ripping the bodice of your dress, causing your breasts so spill out of their confines. You gasp when you feel the dagger poke at the flesh, he presses hard for it just sting but not pierce the skin.

He lets go of the dagger before grabbing both your tits and squeezing them roughly before his mouth descends to take one in his mouth, he licks the nipple before sucking on it, your hand flies up to his hair, gripping it tightly, not knowing whether you want to push him away or hold him tight against you.

He leaves your breast with a pop, hearing you gasp, he sat back, admiring how your cunt looks, all wet and dripping, “You're dripping way too much for someone showing such resistance.” he comments before he pokes at your hole his tip, causing you to clench around nothing.

He knows you wouldn't be able to take him, and that he should prepare you first, but he couldn't hold himself back, and without a warning, he shoves himself entirely inside of you, causing you to scream before it gets cut off by him slamming his lips against yours.

The pain was unbearable, he was too big, and you were a maiden too, it was burning and aching so much, but for some reason you liked the burn, the stretch, you thought you were going insane.

He had the basic courtesy of letting you adjust to him, albeit for a moment before he pulled back and started thrusting wildly into your cunt, causing your body to jolt up against the stone floor.

He spread your legs wider, holding them apart from beneath your knees, and you held on to his shoulder for support and threw your head back, feeling pleasure creeping up your spine.

“U-uncle p-please.” you begged, you had no idea what you were begging for anyone, you didn't want to lose yourself and so you tried pushing him away but he didn't budge, and so your hands fell limply to your side as you let him have his way with you.

His good eye was wild, pupil almost engulfing the violet of his eyes, he watched as your breasts bounced up and down as he continued to thrust into your core, before he grabbed them meanly and pinched both your nipples, twisting them causing you gasp in pain.

One hand left your breast to grab the dagger on the floor next to you before he bought it up to your face, tracing it on the side of your cheek, you flinched when you felt the sharp material press against your face, it trailed down to your neck and he light put pressure there, causing the blood to come up to the surface of the skin but not entirely piercing it.

You felt your arousal dripping onto the stones below at that, you felt embarassed, that your body was liking it, he sat back on his haunches and rammed his cock in and out, watching the blood of your maidenhead coat his cock, causing him to let out a small gasp.

He bought your hips onto his lap, the new angle hitting the rough patch inside of you, causing you to mewl, you gripped his arms which held you up by the waist, nails biting into the leather material. “F-fuck, look at your cunt. Gripping me tightly.” he said between heavy breathes, groaning as he felt each and every ridge of your wet heat, making you clench around him.

“Oh gods, you were meant for me.” he breathes

His hand gripped your cheek tightly, parting your lip before he leant down and kissed you, tears flowing freely from your eyes as he licked them and kissed them away. “Shhh, take it like the good girl you are.” he coos in your ears and you just close your eyes.

And then felt the band in your stomach begin to tighten, you knew what this meant, and aemond was able to tell too, by the way your cunt was clenching tightly around him, his hand moved to your bud and rubbed small but fast circles, and you shook your head, “N-no!” you moaned, refusing to let yourself peak but it is violently ripped through when he pressed meanly down onto your clit, cause the band to snap, mouth parted in a silent moan, eyes clenched close.

Your cunt pulsed around him, making him groan at the sensation, he kissed you once again, lips moving against yours in a passionate manner, tongue swiping against your bottom for entrance to which you grant him, too lost in the high.

You were breathing heavily when you felt his thrusts become sloppy, and the way he was groaning, “I'm gonna cum inside of you alright? breed you, watch you swell with my heirs.” he babbles, and you gulp, “beg for it.” he suddenly says and you look at him wide eyed, another orgasm rapidly approaching you.

“P-please aemond—” you groan, feeling his hit the rough patch again, “Please what?” he asks, trying to contain himself from spilling already, “P-please cum inside me- need you.” you beg humiliated and just then your second orgasm hits you hard, causing you to moan loudly.

“F-fuck, I'm gonna make you a mother, you would love that right? and finally I'd be able to marry you, watch your carry my children, you're going to give me so many understand?” he rambles on before he reaches his peak, coming inside you with a satisfied moan, he rides his orgasm out before he pulls out, watching his spend leak out of you.

You thought with a heavy heart on how he ruined you, no man would want you now.

The next morning, your betrothal plan to cregan was called off on your wish, you asked your mother to get you married to Aemond, he has officially ruined you and damned you to himself, and you were only afraid that if he didn't get what he wanted this time, he would go further and kill your any man you get betrothed to.

And so you quickly accepted your fate.

———

#aemond targaryen #x reader #aemond #aemond x reader #reader insert #aemond smut #aemond x fem!reader #dark!aemond x reader #dark!aemond targaryen x reader #dark!aemond targaryen #dark!fic #tw: noncon #MAE:DARK!CONTENT #hotd #house of the dragon #aemond one eye #dark!hotd #tw: dubcon #tw: violence

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redheadspark · 4 months

Text

Trust

Summary - Azriel takes his son flying for the first time

Warnings - Fluff with a hint of smut

Author's Note - I am thinking of turning this into a series with Azriel, the reader, and their son! Let me know if you want to see a series for it!

“Today’s the day! Are we ready?”

“You should be asking his mother that very question.”

You grinned as you turned around to see both Feyre and Rhysand standing together, hand in hand as they were watching for your reaction. But their eyes were down to your hands that were clenched tight together, almost in a death grip. It rang bells in Feyre’s head, she immediately walked over and took your hands together in her own to make you unclasp your fingers.

“You alright?” She asked, you nodding and taking in a long breath as she spoke once more, “It’s going to be fine, okay?”

“Nothing will happen, you have my word,” Rhysand vowed to you as he too walked over to place a reassuring hand on your arm to give you some sense of comfort, “I’ll be there for every moment of it, I promise. And you know your husband wouldn’t let anything happen, not on his watch.”

“I know,” You said to him, reaching over to squeeze his hand, “I know it’s going to be fine and you both will be there. It’s just….this is a lot.”

“It is,” Feyre hummed in agreement, her warm smile giving you a sense of comfort as she leaned against her mate and husband, “’ I was feeling the same thing you’re feeling with Nyx. But I knew deep down he was easy, and so is your son,”

You were both excited and dreading this day for some time, excited since you knew it would be a life-changing day for not just your child but for your family, and dreading since it was a sure sign that he was growing up on you. He was only 4 years old, yet you could remember the day he was born and how he came wailing into the world with a pair of lungs and a thirst to live. Your pregnancy was not ideal, nor was it something you would ever regret. Nor did his father, who was beyond excited to have his own little family to love on and to nurture.

His father and your mate, Azriel.

You two grew up together as Illryians, you were one of the very few female Illryians that was born into the Illyrian training camp. Although your mother died in childbirth with you and your father abandoned you because of the loss of his mate, your cousin was Rhysand and his own mother took in. She was the mother you needed, both nurturing and stern with you when you needed it, but she also taught you all you needed to know in order to survive the Illyrian life. As a seamstress, she also taught you the trade and you were making dresses alongside her as you got older.

She sheltered you and protected you, made you feel a motherly love in a cruel world. It was then you met Cassian and Azriel, two Illyrian boys who became close to you and your cousin Rhysand. They both were wild, filled with that boyish charm and thrill, and you grew to love them instantly. Especially Azriel, who caught your heart from the moment you saw his hazel eyes that were etched in pain and torment from all he went through with his own childhood. Yet he was kind, sheltered with his own feelings, and willing to bond with Cassian and Rhysand as If they were his own blood related brothers.

You both fell in love with each other over time, there was no way of stopping the sensation of being in love with him as you two grew up side by side. He loved you with all of him, showing you the sides of him that would hide in the dark and would never be seen by others. Although Azriel thought of you as the rays of the sun along his shadows and a lighthouse in the chaos of a storm, he was afraid that you would run from him and think of him as a monster.

He was far from wrong as you kissed him under the stars when you two were teenagers. He knew then that his heart belonged to you and you alone.

Years came and went, tears and torment threatened to take the two of you apart, but you two stayed together and never lost one another along the way. When Rhysand was taken Under the Mountain, you were left in charge of Night Court because you were blood-related. It was a heavy burden to carry on, but you weren’t alone. You had Cassian, your other cousin from the Court of Nightmares named Mor, a wise yet intimidating being named Armen, and of course Azriel. They all were behind you running Night Court and keeping it safe from the enemy’s hand. Especially Azriel, who was your backbone and your words of wisdom when things were rough. Most of all, he poured out his love for you when he knew you needed it, when you missed your cousin, when you felt unworthy yourself. You did the same to him, constantly loving him and making him feel so important and adored as you knew he was.

Your mating bond came easily one night when you two were deep in your lovemaking. His hands along your body, his hips rolling deeply against yours to bring you that pleasure you have been craving and needed from no one but him, you both felt that snap when you were about to orgasm. It was as if The Cauldron itself snapped inside of you and that bond was seeping along your veins. Azriel felt it too, gasping for air as you both orgasmed at the same time and your bond was singing in happiness and joy. As you two clung onto each other in happiness and in euphoria, you knew your life was forever changed because of him and no force would take the two of you away from each other.

So many years came and went: Rhsyand coming back as the High Lord of Night Court and finding his mate in Feyre, fighting against the human king Hybern to keep your Court and the citizens safe, there was finally a moment of peace for you and Azriel. You both were settling down in a small little house outside of the city. Azriel wanted a peaceful life with you, he knew you both needed it after going through stress and agitation. It was always the two of you for so long, which was what you both craved as the topic of growing your family came about.

Azriel knew you were hesitant since birthing Illyrian children was no easy task, let alone being pregnant with a Illyrian child. It was brutal, over half of mothers never survive in childbirth. Your mother was part of that statistic, and Azriel would never dare to loose you in such a way. You were mostly afraid of what could happen to you and the baby, talking to Azriel about it in hopes of wondering how he felt about bringing a child into the world. All you two knew was the way of children in the Illyrian world, a world that was cold and filled with avoidance and distance.

“If we are meant to be parents, then we’ll make it a happy home,” He reassured you as you both were sitting side by side on the front porch of your home, holding you in your arms as you were looking at your matching wedding rings, “Our home will be loving, something we both need from all we went through. But let’s not dwell on children now, I wanna simply be here with you, okay?”

“Okay.” You replied, feeling him kiss you on the cheek as you both watched the moon hanging high above. It always was on the back of your mind, but Azriel was right. You two needed some year alone together to simply build back up what was almost lost thanks to the Battle and the harshness of your childhood.

But come to find out, a few months later, you were with child. And your son, Alec Rhysand, was born.

As if on cue, you heard a cluster of feet coming from the hallway of the House of Wind, the three of you looking to see the cluster of beings coming down the hall. You beamed from seeing them, massive smiles on their faces and excitement in their laughter and giggles. Nyx was leading the group, dressed in his small leathers that were a gift to him on his birthday by his father a year ago with his raven hair swept over his bright eyes. After him was Cassian in his leathers and his mate Nesta, their toddler daughter named Rose on Nesta’s hip who was babbling away with her bright wavy hair. She was an exact carbon copy of her mother, down to the nose and the grin that seemed both infectious and genuine.

“Big day today!” Cassian said with a pep in his step as Rose saw you, screeching for you as she grabbed at you with her little fingers. You giggled, taking the little one in your arms and snuggling her as Cassian gave him a big hug, “It’s a great day to learn how to fly!”

“Perfect weather conditions,” Rhsyand hummed in agreement, “And I think the balcony is the best place for Alec to start,”

“Can’t I fly with him, Dad? Please?” Nyx asked in earnest as he ran over to Rhsyand, hugging his father around the legs with his violet eyes pleading with him.

“Remember our deal? Let him fly with his dad first and then we can join them, okay?” Rhysand reminded his song, who grumbled and nodded his head. Rhysand chuckled and ruffled his hair with his fingers, “You watch, before you know it he’ll join us for our nightly flights,”

“Hey!” You said to him as Feyre slapped his shoulder.

“When he’s bigger! That’s what I meant!” Rhysand said in defense.

“I’m surprised Azriel is letting him fly,” Nesta commented to you as she took her daughter back in her arms, “But, I think it’s great. I bet he’s been looking forward to taking Alec flying hasn’t he?”

“He has,” You said lightly, “He hasn’t stopped talking about it for weeks.”

If you were hesitant about letting your son fly, Azriel was the opposite. In fact, he was looking forward to having his son in with the sky, sole because he knew nothing would happen to his child when he was there with them. Azriel was an amazing father to Alec, loving him from the moment Madja helped bring him into the world and placed him in Azriel’s arms. You saw the shift in your husband's eyes as your baby was whining and wiggling in his hold, his tiny wings and dark hair made him look just like his father and it made you cry in happiness.

He made every milestone with Alec memorable, from his first steps to his first words. Azriel never wanted to miss a moment, wanting to give his son the childhood he wish he had himself. It was making up for the lost memories he never had, the lost moments he wanted with his own mother but was taken abruptly to be replaced with pain and torment. Not with Alec, he would make it filled with love and kindness along with joy and warmth. All you could do was simply stand back and see Azriel's love on his son, holding him close if he would cry, tucking him into bed with a kiss on the head, even laughing together after wrestling in the grass.

It was the childhood Azriel wanted for himself, but now he was giving it to his own boy.

“There he is, the boy of the hour!”

You all turned to see Azriel walking down the hall in his Spymaster leathers and a big grin on his face. But by his side, holding his fingers in his hand, was your four-year-old Alec.

Alec had his father’s dark locks and tan skin, but your bright blue eyes that Azriel knew were pure gifts from The Cauldron. He was simply perfect and had a nervous smile on his face as he saw you. His face brightened as he waved at you shyly.

As Azriel and Alec made it to you, you knelt down to open your arms to your son as he huddled in close to your embrace. His wings, which have grown in the past year and have been deemed strong enough for flight, were tucked tight against his backside as you kissed your son on the head and felt him giggle.

“How are we feeling about flying today?” You asked him as you pulled away and looked at his eyes. He bit his lower lip, looking down at his feet for a brief moment before he showed you his bright blue eyes that were mirroring some hesitance and worry.

“I’m nervous, momma,” He said to you, to which you hummed and framed his face gently with your fingers.

“And remember that it’s okay to be nervous?” You reminded him, seeing him nod his head. You kissed the tip of his nose, “You are ready, Alec. And I know you are going to be amazing at flying, you need to trust your wings. They will not steer you wrong, okay?”

Azriel knelt down next to you, peering at his son with his soft smile that he would always use on his son. Alec would hang on his father’s every word if he could, thinking of Azriel as the center of his world and beyond. There was no doubt they both had a bond together since Alec was a baby, Alec fixing comfort with his father most of the time and Azriel never hesitating in helping his son through anything.

“You are strong, Alec. I’m going to be up there with you and not leave your side, just like we practiced at home.” He said to Alec, who nodded his head. You knew they were practicing constantly at your little home, Azriel showing Alec how to stretch and strengthen his wings to get him ready to hove off the ground. You showed your son with your own wings, Alec watching in amazement as his mother hovered off the ground and landed gracefully on the grass with ease. Even before that, when he was still a toddler, you would take Alec in your arms and fly around your home to both show him how flying felt and to bring in ease.

It was a core memory, Alec as a small toddler snuggled against you as you would soar in the sky and see him watch with his big blue eyes. Azriel would fly next to you, being ever protective of his wife and son as you hear Alec giggle in excitement and coo in joy. To watch his son bathed in the night sky and amongst the stars, held by his beloved wife and mate of centuries, it brought more love to Azriel than he ever felt before.

After Madja checked his wings and gave you both the green light to let him fly, Rhysand wanted it to be a monumental day since it involved his nephew. He wanted it to be on a warm Spring day, making sure the weather would be perfect. You and Azriel were grateful for him, and you most of all since he was your Cousin and yet considered you a sister of his since you were children yourselves. He protected you throughout your teenage years, praised you for keeping Night Court safe in his absence, and adored you when you and Azriel became mates and were married.

Rhsyand walked over to open the balcony door, the warm spring air coming into the room as you were all filtering out onto the grassy terrace. The massive view of Velaris below you was enchanting in the bright sunlight, with the glistening ocean not too far away bringing in the sea air with ease while Azriel walked with Alec in his hand to the middle of the grass. You stood at the side, biting your lower lip as Rhysand squeezed your shoulder with ease. As much as you wanted to be there to help him fly as well, you knew this was a moment with only Alec and his father. You never minded it, knowing your mate would do this perfectly with your son.

Azriel knelt in front of Alec, his shadow licking around his arms and wings to be ready for protection as his massive wings were sprawled out and ready. Alec watched, his father’s wings were bringing a shadow in front of his tiny face as Azriel nodded at his son.

“Get your wings ready,” Azriel instructed him, Alec nodding and rolling his shoulders. His own wings with some muscles seen started to stretch out, mirroring his father’s wings and he kept holding his father’s hands tightly in his own as Azriel grinned.

“Good, you’re doing good,” Azriel said to him in a soothing tone, “Now, concentrate on your wings and let them move. You can do it, buddy. Just take in a deep breath and take your time,”

Your heart warmed instantly from hearing how Azriel was talking to him, seeing his hazel eyes look at his son with love and patience as Alec slammed his eyes shut and tried his best to make his wings work. Everyone else was waiting on bated breath, not wishing to move and break the moment that was in the air. This was a sacred moment, a right of passage that was going to be remembered for the rest of one’s life. You and Azriel talked about it over and over, wanting it to both be perfect and filled with positivity for your son.

A redo to what you both endured as children.

Cassian was the first one to react, then his mate, and after Feyre and Rhysand. Gasps were heard, along with sharp intakes of breaths and murmurs. You were the last, fat tears were streaming down your face at the sight of your son how hovering over the grass with his toes barely touching the ground. His wings moved easily, naturally even, while his father was watching with the biggest smile on his face.

“Alec, open your eyes, baby. Look,” Azriel said to him as he held his son’s hands. Alec, with some reluctance, opened his blue eyes. His eyes went huge, looking down to see himself hovering and he giggled.

“I did it! I did it, Daddy!” He said in glee as he looked at Azriel. Azriel smiled widely, pride was all over his face as Alec looked over at you still he was still hovering off the ground with his feet kicking in giddiness, “Look, momma! I’m doing it!”

You were freely crying at this point, covering your mouth with your hands and smiling in pure ecstasy. It made your heart swell to see such a moment with not just your immediately family, but your Found family too. It was healing all the pain you had in your heart and in your past that seemed to go away, that healing was coming in small waves and not slowing down. Rhysand helped you heal, and Azriel helped you heal.

And now, your son was helping you heal.

“You ready?” Azriel asked Alec, getting his attention again as Alec nodded in excitement. Azriel’s wings were now active, making Azriel hover up a bit and bring Alec along with him with his little wings trying to keep up. They were now a few feet up from the ground, still holding each other’s hands as Azriel guided Alec to be nose-to-nose with him. You were more in love with him all the more, watching him guide your own in the best way he could.

Azriel’s shadows were now hovering around the pair of them in a protective bubble, they were still visible amongst the shadows with ease as your husband and son were still watching each other. You felt through your mating bond that Azriel was proud of his son, how happy he was to see his child go through a great milestone, and how much love he had in his moment. You were mirroring it yourself, knowing Azriel would feel it through the bond himself.

“You are strong, Alec Rhysand. Let your wings show you how strong you are,” he reminded him calmly. Within a few moments, Azriel was releasing his hold on Alec’s hands, letting Alec fly with no help and nothing else aiding him. Azriel was hovering right in front of him, his own hands were shaking from the sight but he was nonetheless grinning from ear to ear with pride etched all over his face.

“Atta boy, Alec!” Cassian cheered as the others were grinning and clapping, “You’re doing great, kid!”

“Well done!” Feyre said in a clasp of her hands as Nyx was bouncing on his feet in excitement.

“You did it, Alec! You’re flying!” Nyx shouted with a cup of his hands around his mouth. Alec was giggling in pure joy, no longer shy or afraid as he was looking around at himself and noticing his wings were already flapping in ease. But of course, his eyes were looking over to you as he gestured wildly to you.

“I’m doing it momma! Look, I’m flying, momma!” He said with a massive smile. Rhysand kissed the side of your head as Azriel look at you two. You both were sharing a mutual feeling of pride and love for your son as the others were cheering him on and encouraging him to keep going. You were dreaming of this day for years, dreaming of your future child being free in their own wings and loving the thrill of flying. Not the fear of it, not the fear needing to be sheltered away from whom they were. It was a new time for you all, and this was a sure sign of a bright future.

Come on, babe. Come fly with us. You heard Azriel say in the bond as Alec was now reaching out to you with his fingers, still hovering in front of his father but his eyes were pinned on you.

“Come on, momma! Fly with me!” He pleaded. It was like a siren call that you could never stray from, that you could never ever turn your back on no matter how hard you tried. Seeing the two loves of your life wishing for you to join them was all you could ever need in this life that was now filled with brightness. You moved away from your family, stretching your wings as you took flight with ease. Your wings were sighing relief in being in the air, you grinning as you met your son and husband in the air. Instantly, Azriel’s shadows stretched to be around you now as the three of you were in your own world together.

“You’re doing so well, my darling boy,” You cooed as Alec, whose wings were flapping faster now, “I’m so proud of you!”

“Me too, Alec,” Azriel added as Alec was watching him, “Now, follow me. Nice and easy now, okay?”

You were behind Alec as he was following his father at a snail’s pace, but was not showing any signs of slowing down or getting tired. Neither of you noticed Rhsyand, Nyx, and Cassian taking to the sky as well and making high circles above the three of you. But you were simply focusing on your son, who was having the time of his life in this milestone. Every struggle that you had, every nightmare you experienced thinking that you would never see the light at the end of the tunnel, none of that was there anymore.

You saw positivity, positivity and hope.

“He’s fast asleep, the poor thing is tuckered out,” You heard Azriel inform you as you were perched on the terrace of the House of Wind, grinning from ear to ear as the warm spring night was all around you in Velaris. The glittering city below you was still alive and filled with energy as your husband joined you. The rest of the home was quiet, Rhysand and Feyre winnowed back to the River House leaving Nyx to sleep with Alec in one of the guest rooms. Cassian and Nesta were in their own room for the night with Rose, leaving you and Azriel alone together and enjoying the view in peace.

You were standing against the railing, wrapped in a night robe as you felt his shadows lick against your neck and arms as a way to show his presence.

“He had a big day today, along with you,” you said as Azriel pulled you in his arms and pressed his head into yours lovingly. Breathing him in always brought you back to your center, feeling his toned muscles along your fingers made you feel safe and secure once again. Even after all of these years of being married and mates, he always knew the best way to hug you to make you feel loved.

“We both did,” He reminded you gently, you grinning as he searched your eyes, “And I know how far we both have come to be here, so I wanted to tell you how proud of you I am,”

“Az,” You said his name in a weka tone, though he hummed and shook his head.

“You have been so strong for so many years, saving this Court from downfall, saving me from being lost. I know I’m not the same person I was when I was young when we met, and I owe my life to you,” He proclaimed, you feeling fresh tears in your eyes while he wiped your tears gently with his soothing fingers “Our son is a reflection of you, my love. And I know I’m not one for saying how much I love you—“

“Hush,” You soothed him, hearing go silent instantly as you pressed a soothing kiss to his lips. He leaned into you, kissing you back just as gently as you two were drinking in the quiet moment together.

Once you pulled away from his lips, you nuzzled his nose against yours as you spoke once more, “You have loved me with no restraint and nothing holding you back. I don’t ever wish to have anything else replace your love for me, Az. Not in this life or the next, you have been and will always be everything to me and our son. I’m so proud of you too,”

Azriel smiled, the moon reflecting off his beautiful eyes as you two were still wrapped in each other’s arms from simple yet powerful words of affirmation. It was always like this with the pair of you, building each other up from the depths of pain and lack of self-worth. You saw the light in each other, the hope that was nestled deep inside and neither of you gave up on the other. It took a hard road, and plenty of arguments and fights, just to stay strong for one another.

Because of that, you have this new life, a beautiful and perfect son, and it felt as if nothing else could damage that.

You reached down to lace your fingers one another, clutching his palm to yours tightly as you grinned widely at him. Leaning in to barely touch your lips to his, you whispered, “Come fly with me,”

And he did, the pair of you taking to the sky and soaring amongst the stars with the city below, your love showing no abandon or no diminish.

The End.

Tagged - @valeridarkness

#azriel shadowsinger #azriel x reader #azriel x you #Azriel #acotar fanfiction #acotar #a court of thorns and roses #a court of mist and fury #a court of silver flames #azriel spymaster #azriel x oc #azriel fanfic #azriel acotar

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dreamywriter143 · 1 year

Text

Breathtaking

Status: Oneshot?

Parings: Neteyam x Human Reader

Genre/Warnings: Fluff, Angst, Romance, Mentions of Violence, Some blood, Jealousy.

Summary: Y/n grew up with Spider. She played with him, fought with him, ate with him and slept with him. There is nothing they couldn’t do together….well, one thing. And that is leaving the base at any costs. Now, what will happen when Y/n does leave the base? Why had she been trapped in the base for so long? And why did a certain Na’vi take her breath away?

Word Count: 6k (Uh.....sorry😭)

A/N: Ok, I said I’d have my followers special out by now but everything is all over the place. I’m sorry😭😭 This is my first xHumanReader so please enjoy! I’m so sorry for the delay!

———————————————————————

“Then this huge viperwolf jumped on me! I swear I saw my life flash before my eyes until Lo’ak saved my ass” Spider chuckles nervously at the memory.

Currently he is seated in the medical wing as his arm is getting patched up. The gash wasn't too big, but deep enough to sting in pain.

Y/n frowns at his words, being mindful not to apply too much pressure as she wrapped the gauze around the wound carefully across his bicep. Y/n bites her lips at the stinging pain of worry strikes through her.

“You should be more careful Spider. You cannot be reckless all the time, you cannot expect Lo’ak to always have your back either” Y/n says softly, her eyes wandering over the tiny scratches over his body in worry. Spider scoffs out loud, rolling his eyes at her words.

“You worry too much Y/n, You don't even know Lo’ak, we have each other's backs” Spider assures, making Y/n sigh out loud. She holds the urge to nudge against his wound out of spite.

“Because I don't know him”

For as long as Y/n had known she had always been in the cold confines of base camp, what she knew to be her home. The only thing she had known truthfully.

Y/n was born shortly after the war, her father was unknown, but her mother who was a well known medical officer of the team, sadly passed upon her birth. She grew up following Norm and Max around the lab, as they were the only people she felt any sort of connection to. They knew her mother well and raised her alongside Spider, who also couldn't be transported back to Earth due to being so young.

Though Spider was younger then her by a bit, Y/n always trailed behind him within the lab. She had no other females around her age, it was natural to grow incredibly close to Spider over the years.

“Well, you should. Next time I'll introduce you! He'd love you, come with me next time I go out” Spider says nonchalantly, not taking notice how Y/n’s shoulders slumped at his words.

“Ha Ha , very funny Spider” Y/n spits bitterly, tying up the bandage before turning around and leaving him for the tiny sink where she washed her hands begrudgingly.

“O-oh,shit, I'm sorry Y/n…I didn't mean to sound…it came out wrong..” Spider apologizes, hopping down from the medical table to walk up to her. Y/n focuses on scrubbing her hands so she couldn't focus on the sadness bubbling within her.

Y/n grew up alongside Spider, they ate together, played together and slept together while growing up. But Y/n…was different.

For as long as she could remember, she had never set one foot outside the compound. Y/n even had her quarters on the farside of the base, as if they didn't want her near the entrance at any costs. That's why when Spider would sneak into her room to accompany her, she felt less lonely.

Over the years Y/n grew but not as tall as Spider. Spider was a hunk compared to her much tinier and delicate figure. Y/n always worked out within the base to increase her strength and endurance but she gave that up years ago when she came to the conclusion she would never be able to see the world outside the cold gates.

Y/n always wondered why she was deprived of something Spider was allowed to do so freely, she would always boil with envy when she walked Spider as close to the gate as Norm would allow her.

Watching him run off to his freedom only made her mental resolve crumble that much more. It didn't help when Spider would go on and on about his adventures. Y/n would always aggressively chew her food to drown out his words during communal dinners.

Y/n had learned to tune out his words from time to time, but how can she when he was living what she dreamt about day in and day out?

When she questioned Norm and Max why she couldn't leave, they would claim it's because she is too delicate, that there are toxins and dangerous creatures out there her body could not handle and Spider could because he left the compound at such an early age.

Y/n chalked it up to something deeper they are not telling her, based on the constant blood tests and X-rays they conducted on her for ‘check ups’ when she never even stepped outside the facility.

She never did question them too much on the tests, why would she? They wanted what was best for her, and she had no place to argue. Maybe she was, as they claimed, ‘delicate’.

When they compared Y/n’s stature and physical maturity against Spider, they claimed it was for her safety that she didn't leave. That she wouldn’t be able to defend herself and that her body is more delicate than others. She was the only girl her age, the only young human girl in Pandora and they didn’t want to take a chance.

Y/n always kicked herself for being room ridden in her early years that led her to not get used to the outside world. Always drinking in logs of her mother and Grace Augustine. She also convinced Max if she could see Jake Sully’s logs, which she was grateful for. The current Olo’eyktan, was a human like her. And now he is living his truth amongst his people out there.

“It's fine, I'm not bothered by it anymore” Y/n says harshly, spinning around as Spider grabs her shoulders. He looks down at her apologetically.

“No, it's on me. I shouldn't even be telling you about my day when you….” he trails off frowning.

“No! No, it's fine Spider. I love listening to your adventures. Honestly. It's my form of entertainment and I love watching you happy” Y/n says smiling up at the taller boy.

Despite this Y/n always tried to stay positive, always helping around with research, helping maneuver samples and making sure the tanks are full for the exo packs they would take outside for excursions and for Spider’s constant usage. Y/n tried to be as helpful as possible, all to divert her attention from the void she felt deep within.

Her free time always consisted of watching logs, watching how her mother spoke about the Na’vi with excitement. Her mother had helped the clan recuperate after the war, helping alongside Mo’at with the injured. Y/n’s mother had even gotten close with Neytiri, the wife of Jake Sully. Her mother was also involved in Neytiri’s firstborn’s delivery.

Y/n watched in amazement everytime memorizing how her mother spoke fondly about the world, the beauty that basked her in awe all the time. Y/n couldn't help but desire that as well. Fantasize about going out, running across the forest floor with no limits or the chance of running into a cold wall. She craved freedom. Craved adventure. Something more. Something beyond her personal prison.

“Y/n! There you are!” Norm peeks into the medical wing, his hand gripping a tablet as he eyes Spiders wrapped arm in worry. Spider shows a thumbs up to clear his concern as he turns his attention back to Y/n.

“Can you double check on the exo-pack’s when you have time? The filters need to be cleaned and the power supply pack needs to be changed. Think you can do that for me?” He asks, offering a tiny pleading smile. Y/n forces down her pent up sadness and manages a tiny nod.

“Max told me to check them earlier. I just have a few left” She explains to which Norm sighs out in relief. “Good, did you fix pack #8? That one was almost busted the last time I saw it” Y/n waves him off, she wasn't in the mood to go back to recharding and cleaning the exo-packs, the very thing they needed to survive the outside world. The very thing she wishes she had the opportunity to use.

“Yes, no worries. I’ll get them done!” Y/n reassures as Norm nods once more before ducking down to head for the laboratory. Y/n sighs out once he is out of earshot. She turns to Spider who had been quite the entire time.

“Ok...wanna have dinner together?’ Spider asks, tucking a strand of hair that had fallen over her face behind her ear. Y/n smiles at Spider, her dear friend she grew up to love and cherish as a brother.

“I’d love that, my room or yours?” Y/n asks, taking his larger hand into hers as she tugs him towards the kitchen.

“Yours, you have a more comfortable bed”

~~~~~~

“I’m off!” Spider calls out quickly grabbing an exo pack and securing it tightly against his face. Hearing his declaration and watching him walk towards the exit, Y/n scurries to his side, glancing at the watch on her wrist as she frowns deeply.

“Are you insane! It's already nightfall!!” She hisses. She rolls her eyes noting how Norm and Max didn't seem bothered by the fact that Spider wanted to go out again, and this late into the day, the sun had already set a while ago which meant the dangers of the night would be out on the prowl.

“So what? Kiri wanted to show me some cool bioluminescent plants. We can only see them when the sun has set anyways” Spider shrugs, tightening the pack against his back. Y/n bites her lips furiously, her nostrils flaring in a mix of anger and worry for the boy.

“Spider, seriously? It's only been 3 days, and your wound hasn't fully healed yet. What if you run into trouble?” She rants, trying to stand in Spider’s way crossing her arms in frustration. Spider sighs out loud, pinching the bridge of his nose in annoyance.

“We won't be going too far out and I have this-” He gestures to the bow slung across his chest. Y/n raises an eyebrow, glancing at his injured arm as if to answer his statement . He playfully rolls his eyes, sidestepping her and quickly walking past her.

“I’ll be fine Y/n, quit worrying!” He calls back, walking towards the entrance with determination. Y/n sighs out realizing she wouldn't hear the end of it if she took another step closer to the entrance especially since Norm and Max were in her line of vision. She throws her hands up in annoyance, turning to Max who simply offers a tiny smile.

“Seriously? You're allowing this?” Y/n asks her cheeks flushed in worry.

At this point Y/n didn't know what egged her to react in such a way. Was it a worry for Spider’s safety? Was it anger towards the ‘adults’ in the lab that allowed him to venture out so late? Or the more likely option, was it jealousy? Jealous over the fact that Spider could go out, and she can't.

“Relax Y/n, it's not the end of the world. Let the boy live a little” Max says teasingly which caused the tiny girl to fume.

‘Then, why can I live a little?’

Hearing the entrance lock from a few feet behind her Y/n whips around to leave the lab, intending on going to her room to watch her mother logs. Watching her mothers calming logs always helped calm her down.

“Wait! Y/n?!” Norm calls from his seat, causing the girl to stop right outside the door. She glances back, her eyes cold and unwavering.

“Yes?” she asks in a monotone, not feeling in the mood to listen to what he had to say. “Did you check the exo-packs like I asked the other day?” He asks, not noting how Y/n looked ready to kill at this point.

“Of course, now if you’ll excuse me. I have to go to my room” Y/n easily lies before marching out of the lab. Max glances at Norm who had a questioning look on his face.

“The rebellious stage?” Norm asks, tapping his pen against his lips

“I'd say more like just fluctuating hormones?” Max offers, glancing back at where she had stormed off to.

“Thank god I don't have children of my own”

“Norm….Y/n and Spider are practically our children…”

~~~~~

“No”

Y/n’s hands scurry over the hanger, rechecking the packs in her arms, her heart beating a mile per minute.

“No, no no no, where are you?” Y/n whispers to herself, her eyes jumping around as if it would magically appear in front of her.

After gloating in her room for half an hour Y/n decided to finally finish up her duty to clean and recharge the exo packs. She had been rather lazy the past few days, lazy to the point she kept putting off the chore entirely.

The moment she arrived back to the lab it was empty, everyone must have left for their quarters or for dinner, a perfect time to quickly finish her work and be on her way to her room again. But unfortunately for her, life wasn't going to be that easy.

She remembered leaving a few packs to do later, but one was missing. The very same pack Norm had emphasized on, the defective and nearly beaten up exo pack. #8.

She looked around aimlessly, double checking the logbook to see if anyone had mistakenly taken the pack out. But she knew no one would be out this late. And if things couldn't get any worse, there were no loose packs lying around. No one would have mistakenly placed it anywhere. And the recycling system didn't have it either so no one decided on throwing out the defective pack.

Which only left one, bone chilling conclusion.

“Shit…Spider”

Y/n looks at the entrance a few feet away. Before the entrance seemed to shine, it seemed to always glow in her eyes. But right now, it looked menacing, scary even. It was the very same door Spider had run out of not too long ago, wearing the defective mask.

Y/n feels sweat drip down her forehead, her eyes widening in fear. Due to her laziness, her foolishness. Spider was going to die. And all because of her.

The exo packs would be good for a few hours even if they are near to running out of power, or even if the filter needed to be changed. But Y/n knew about that mask, #8 was defective. That mask should have been discarded weeks ago. And she knew Spider didn't have hours, he had minutes left.

“What have I done? '' Y/n shakily covers her mouth, covering up her sobs as she feels the weight of her mistake weigh down on her. She couldn't seem to form a coherent thought as she sobs out of sheer pain and guilt that shook her body.

Just as her sobs die down she glances at the entrance one more time, before mindlessly grabbing two exo packs. She slings one across her arms carefully while placing the other one over her face, securing the mask snugly and slinging her arms through the power pack. She held the extra pack close to her, taking tentative steps towards the entrance. The closer she got, the faster her heart rang against her chest.

She knew Norm and Max would be devastated if they found out Spider was in danger , or worse dead because of Y/n. And she couldn't, wouldn’t live with his blood on her hands. She nears the entrance, her hands shakily reaching out to firmly grasp the cold handle.

She didn't know how, she didn't know if she had the ability. But she would rather die trying than sit in the lab waiting for the inevitable.

She was determined to find Spider. Wherever he may be.

Glancing back at the empty lab once more she turns her exo pack on, taking in a deep breath. The hum of the power supply working flawlessly vibrates against her back comfortably.

Locking the airlock she opens the door, shutting it behind her with force as she runs into the unknown forest ahead.

Not sparing a glance back at her so-called; prison.

~~~~~~~~

Y/n had been wandering around aimlessly as her feet carried her deeper and deeper into the forest. She didn't have the time to bask in the beauty of the forest she had desired for long as her worry and fear for Spider clouded her vision.

Her eyes darted around, the bioluminescent plants aiding her in her quest through the dense forest filled with twigs and foliage that crushed under her hurried steps.

“S-shit”

Y/n comes to a stop in a clearing, resting her hand against the tree beside her to catch her breath. She had never run so far, and for such a long duration in her entire life. She felt her legs tremble under form as if it couldn't hold her upper body weight any longer. Her breaths came out in gasps occasionally fogging up her face plate.

At the rate she was going she didn't know if she had a chance to even find Spider. Feeling all the adrenaline drain from her body, she slumps against the large tree, sliding down to sit on the cold forest floor beneath. Her eyes trail over the beauty as she tries to regulate her breathing, her eyes glimmering with mild excitement.

For a moment, she forgot that Spider was in danger.

For a moment, she felt like she was dreaming.

Her fingers clutch the leaves underneath her, they felt so soft yet rough at the same time, her eyes catching the various plants that glow and glimmer in the dead of the night. It was an indescribable beauty. Y/n found herself realizing her mother had not done justice when describing the beauty of Pandora in her logs.

Pandora was not simply beautiful; It was breathtaking.

Y/n smiles softly to herself, her eyes taking in the beauty of the night. She couldn't imagine how it would look during the day. What she would do to stay out and wait it out till day break.

Her thoughts are cut short when she notices a small glittering thing float down to her from high above the treeline. She watches curiously, her legs regaining some strength as she shakily stands up, her grip on the extra exo pack for Spider secure. She stands to her full fight as if to meet the floating object halfway.

A surprised gasp leaves her lips as realizes the beautiful being was floating down to her, her face flashing with recognition. The seed came mere inches away from her face.

Y/n shakily lifts her free arm towards it, facing her palm up. Staying perfectly still. The pure spirit hoes on to land on her palm swiftly, as if it intended on landing on her hand in the first place. Y/n giggles softly feeling the tiny tendrils tickle against her bare skin.

“You're a Atokirina” (Woodsprite) Y/n whispers out quietly, as if weary of scaring the delicate being. She watches how the seed stays on her hand, fluttering occasionally but staying put. What a beautiful sight, she felt her heart soar.

Y/n had learned a lot through her many ‘lessons’, from Norm and the logs. About the importance of a woodsprite and its meaning. She had also learned they were pure spirits and considered scared. Y/n bites her lips softly as a thought crosses her mind. Taking a moment to contemplate her question she takes a deep breath.

“I've lost a dear friend of mine…Spider, will you help me find him?” Y/n whispers, feeling silly for asking a favor out loud. She watches how the seed flutters at her request, floating up at her words. Taking this as a sign, Y/n pushes her wobbly legs to follow the floating woodsprite across the clearing and near a patch of bushes.

She comes to a halt noticing how the woodsprite started to float upwards, floating further and further away. She tilts her head in question. Did it want her to continue on straight? Straight through and deeper into the forest?

Y/n glances back at the bush in front of her, her eyes catch the slight movement between the leaves. Her heart jumps at the movement. Was it Spider? Was he in the bushes?

Feeling like she had no other option she slowly comes closer towards the bush, watching the rustling increase the closer it got. She couldn’t help but feel fear ping inside of her as she came closer, her feet practically tip toeing against the forest floor.

‘If it was Spider, why hasn't he come out yet?’

Gulping loudly she reaches out her free hand to move the leaves for a better view but within a blink of eye she is harshly pushed down to the ground.

The extra pack flies away at the impact of her landing harshly against the forest floor, her back pressed down by a heavy weight. The deep growl makes Y/n’s blood run cold.

Her eyes widen in unbridled fear as she stares into the eyes of an angry viperwolf. Out of fear she trashes against the beast, screaming in fear which only agitated the creature who snaps its fangs at her.

Tears pool along her irises as her body gives in, to warn out to fully fight back. She feels the creature get closer to her face, the warning growls disappearing as its eyes square down into her smaller form.

She scrunched her eyes shut, waiting for it all to end in a second.

Spider was right, your life does flash before your eyes. And all Y/n saw was her sad self, staring at her own reflection with no purpose. An empty shell of herself. No goals, no ambitions. Nothing. All because she was denied such freedom.

Y/n feels her body relax. Maybe this was what she needed? Maybe this was meant to be?

She silently prays when all of the sudden the weight is lifted off of her.

Her eyes snapped open as she scurried to sit up. Y/n eyes widen in shock, her jaw going slacked as she watches the viperwolf snap defensively against her saviour.

She drinks in the sight of a Na’vi male, and not just any male. A really tall Navi, his broad back facing her as he wrestled against the viperwolf. She catches a glint of a knife that was lodged into the creature as it whines in pain.

Y/n had never seen a Na’vi up close before, sure she had scanned over files and pictures. She even got to interact with some of the avatars. But this. This was new. This was a true Na’vi. And he had saved her.

Y/n crawls over to the abandoned exo pack that had gone flying when she was thrown to the ground, making sure it wasn't damaged as she looks it over. Sighing in relief, she glances over at the Na’vi as he looms over the now dead viperwolf, whispering something in their native language as he pulls out the knife. Cleaning it if it’s blood.

“T-thank you”

Y/n whispers, taking tiny straps to get a bit closer to the now crouched male. At the sound of her voice he visually stiffens, his grip on the knife tightening as he sheaths back into its casing across his belt

Not receiving a response Y/n clears her throat, she wanted to wipe her face of the tears that had slipped past her eyes at her near death experience. But the mask proved to be a barrier at the moment.

“Thank you for saving me” Y/n tries again. This time she takes a cautious step back when the male whips around, standing up immediately to his full height towering over her. Y/n craned her neck to get a glimpse of his face, her breath hitched upon taking in his features.

He must have been the most beautiful, handsome Na’vi Y/n had ever seen. The markings and stripes along his face displayed beautifully, his yellow eyes shining bright as they pierced into her soul, his locks braided neatly and laying past his shoulders. Decorated with beads and pearls.

And his lips, so nicely shaped and perfect, Y/n found herself getting lost in them. But from the looks of it, he wasn’t smiling at her. No. He was frowning, his eyes burning with what looked to be anger.

“Thank??” He growls slowly, pointing his index finger towards Y/n in accusation. His English accent thick.

“You thank?? For this?!” He hisses, his ears flattened against his head. Y/n flinches at his tone, looking over at the viperwolf that attacked her earlier. Her eyes glistened with unshed tears as she realized he had killed a creature, a native creature for her.

“I’m sorry…I-”

Y/n looks back at the handsome stranger, noting how his shoulders relax a bit at her apology.

(A/N: The rest of the dialogue is in Navi)

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to get in the way. Create a…conflict” Y/n says in Na’vi. Though it was broken and missing some words, the male seems to relax fully once she speaks to him his mother tongue.

Once she had grown interested in the Na’vi culture Y/n had made Norm’s life a living hell until he taught her how to speak. She could understand almost everything after many years of practice, it was her speaking that needed improvement,

“Why did you save me?” She asks, her voice shaky from the event that had unfolded. The male grunts at her question, choosing to look anywhere else but her. His tail twitches under her stare.

“Because Ewya seems to have chosen you…for what. I don’t know” he explained. Y/n eyes widen at his words. Had he been watching her the entire time? From the moment she walked into the clearing? And she hasn't known of his presence? He must be a warrior, judging by his stature, his precision and skills.

“I’m truly sorry, it was foolish of me to provoke him…” She wipers apologetically. The male's eyes twitch upwards, taking in her world.

The male shuffles a little, the storm behind his eyes seems to calm down at her words. He seems to contemplate something before looking over to her, his expression much more relaxed than before but still hard.

“Where are you from?” he demands, but much softer than before. He looked stiff, ready to defend himself if need be, but the original hostility had dispersed once he saw the sincerity behind her apology,

“I-I’m from the base camp, a good way away from here. I work with…Norm and Max?” Y/n explains, peering up at the giant. Y/n thought it best she use the names of her guardians who she knew were known amongst the Omatikaya. She used their names hoping for the male to calm down, and luckily it worked perfectly,

The male's tail twitches at the names mentioned, a flash of recognition crossing his face. He lets out a grunt as he glances around the clearing.

“You shouldn’t be out here alone tawtute. I will escort you back so you may not cause anymore trouble. Is that clear?” (Human) The male says sternly, his eyes completely calm but filled with authority. Not waiting for her response he turns his back on her, taking two strides waiting for her to follow him.

Y/n thought he was around her age, but his tone and choice of words, how he held himself made him seem older. That, or he was that of nobility.

“I can’t!” She quickly objects.

The male halts his steps, peering over his shoulder with an unamused look on his face. He sighs out,

“Why not tawtute. Do you want to die? It’s dangerous and you have nothing to defend yourself,” he warns.

“My friend….My friend is in danger, I’m looking for him” Y/n holds the extra pack up as his eyes trace over the human invention. His nose slightly scrunches at the sight but he waits for her to further explain.

“He left with a defective exo pack, if I do not deliver this to him in time he will die.” She says stepping closer to him. The male stiffens at her close proximity, his heart rate quickens as his nostrils fill up with her scent, which he chooses to ignore.

“Another tawtute? In the forest? It’s really late in the night, he’s probably already dead” he states, his tone holding traces of sympathy.

Y/n eyes widen at his words. Had she truly been late, it’s true it’s been a while since he had left, the exo pack couldn’t have malfunctioned at any time. Was it all for nothing?

“N-no! I can’t let that happen. He’s alive, I feel it-” Y/n places her hand over her heart for emphasis. “Spider, he can-“

“Spider?!” The male jolts at the familiar name. His eyes light up on high alert causing Y/n to be taken aback.

“Y-yes, Spider! Do you know him!” She confirms, taking a step closer to the Na’vi. The male glances back at the exo pack one more time before offering his large hand out for her.

“Come”

~~~~~~~

The male Navi pulls Y/n along with him as she walks quickly through the forest. Y/n desperately tried to keep up, her lungs burning at the sensation of her rapid pace.

Y/n tried to get the male to give her some space, to let her run freely by his side as him pulling her seemed to pose a problem. But the only response she got were grunts of acknowledgement and nothing more,

“C-can we slow down?” Y/n asks, her chest heaving with every breath she tries to take. The male stops, turning towards her. His eyes burning with determination, his tail swishing behind me.

“You tawtute are slow, weak. If you don’t hurry we won’t find him” the male hisses. Y/n realizes this male must be one of Spider’s friends. He recognized him the moment she mentioned him, and the urgency in his actions proved he cared for him.

“I’ll try to keep up. Can I please walk on my own?” Y/n pleads, the arm that had been tugged at for the past few minutes throbbing with pain.

The male scoffs, the tiniest smile playing along his lips. “Fine, do what you want tawtute, but move with haste” the male turns around taking a few steps but much slower this time to accommodate her speed.

“I have a name!” Y/n huffs out.

“Oh? What might that be?” There is a small trace of amusement in his tone as he keeps walking forward. Y/n glances down at her footing. Being mindful where she placed her feet on the huge branch as she didn’t want to fall. It wasn't a big drop, but it was big enough to break a bone or two.

“Y/n. My name is Y/n” she wheezes out. The male hums at her response, satisfied that she answered to him so quickly,

“Y/n…Mhm…” the male says her name causing Y/n’s steps to falter. The way her name rolled off his tongue, so elegantly it seemed to cause her heart to skip a beat. The deep baritone voice only made him sound that much more….attractive.

“What's your-”

Y/n was so lost in her thoughts she misplaced her next step. Y/n screams in fear feeling her leg slip from under her, she is able to see how the male Na’vi whips around to the sound of her scream, rushing to catch her in time but to no avail. Y/n’s fingers slip past his by a few mere centimeters as she tumbled towards the forest floor. She landed with a huge thump, landing on her face.

“Y/n!”

Y/n groans in pain, struggling to sit back up. Luckily nothing felt broken, but her entire body screamed in protest as aches and pain took over her body. She held her breath to calm her racing heart. Just as Y/n tries to stand up, the male jumps down to her side. He crouches down to her level assessing her for any injuries with a worried look.

“Woah, that was a scare! Talk abou-hmpfhghaa?”

Y/n’s words get caught off as the males' large hands cover her mouth. Y/n eyes widen at the action, her face heating up at the feeling of his warm hand over her mouth. His hand was big enough to cover her entire face if he wanted to. But all she could focus on was the way his body heat radiated off of his soft hand.

‘He feels so warm…..wait…warm?’

Y/n feels her heart drop to her stomach realizing why she felt his hand press firmly against her mouth.

Her mask had broken clean off. Her face was fully bare.

If it weren't for his hand she would have inhaled the toxic air. Dying in an instant.

“Mhdgjpfff!”

The male's expression is filled with worry, his eyes dancing around for the extra pack she had with her for Spider. Unable to find it near them he growls in frustration. It might have slipped from Y/n’s fingers when she had fallen. Such luck.

“Can you hold your breath? Do you think you can hold your breath till the base Y/n? Forget Spider, let me carry you back to your base!” The male says urgently, his face showing emotions he didn’t show earlier. Y/n ignored how her heart rate accelerated at him saying her name so freely.

Her eyes mist over realizing this was the end. She shakes her head, she knew she wouldn’t be able to hold it, and with the extra pack not in sight it was as if she was meant to perish. Like everything that has happened today, happened for a reason.

The Na’vi shakes his head in denial, refusing to take no for an answer.

“No, there must be something. Another way” He glances at the sky, he would call his Ikran but the question still stands. Would she be able to hold her breath for that long?

Y/n smiles at the male, her tiny fingers reaching up to grab his hand, trying to tug his hand free from his hold. .

The male shakes his head, refusing to remove his hand. Y/n feels herself get light headed from the lack of oxygen. If this is what fate had in store for her, she was willing to allow it.

Noticing how her eyes got droopy, the male pulled Y/n into him, having her head rest against his free arm while she sat against his lap.

He looks down at her with sadness, his eyes staring into her e/c eyes realizing there was nothing he could do. He felt utterly useless.

Y/n nods assuringly as she is finally able to pull away his hand. The male closed his eyes, he didn’t want to watch her in physical pain in her last few moments. A shaky sigh escaped his lips. Y/n looks up at the star's above, her eyes closing to a shut.

Y/n thanks the gods above for letting her see the forest for the first time, and for meeting a Na’vi at the first try. In a way she got to experience everything she desired in the span of one day, and that made her happy.

She takes a deep breath and……

Nothing happens.

Her lungs fill in with the air around her as her eyes snap open. The male peeks his eyes open as well hearing her gasp in surprise, his widened as he watches her able to breathe the air around her. His air. The air that was supposed to be…toxic.

Y/n smiles wide, sitting up straighter. She can breathe fine, in fact the air seems lighter as it travels through her, better than oxygen! She could breathe Pandora air! Had the great mother spared her life?

“W-hat?!” Y/n sits up fully now, still within his grasp. The Na’vi’s eyes bore into her in shock and surprise as she wiggled what was left of her mask off her face. She adjusted her hair and moved it from face as she inhaled deeply.

“I…I’m not dead!” She declares, turning to fully to face the male. She squeaks in surprise when she realizes how close their faces were from one another as she is practically resting over his lap. She shyly looks into his eyes, him staring back at her in awe.

The male's eyes widen at her , fully taking in her beauty. He hadn't noticed her when he was blinded by anger, or when he began to worry over his friend Spider.

Now that he had her in his arms, he realized he didn’t want to let her go. He was able to see everything, and up close. The mask that seemed to hide her beauty finally gone, showing him what he had missed. What he had been blind to see before.

“W-what’s your name?” Y/n asks, beginning to shy away from his intense stare up close. Maybe she looked silly with her messy hair and puffy eyes?

The male breathes in, a genuine smile twitching along his lips.

“Neteyam,…my name is Neteyam”

And for the first time in forever, Neteyam felt completely breathless.

___________________________________

A/N: I hope you guys enjoy! let me know what you think and if you'd like a Pt2?

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dadyscumslutprincess20 · 5 months

Text

Lost Love

(Small story I thought about doing until I write another request that I got, also be looking out I’m working on 4 request at a time then the rest at once💕)

Cha Hyun su x fem reader

Genre: Just a bit emotional

It’s been a year since you last saw Hyun su after trying his self into the military to keep the remaining survivors of Green Home safe , so we all would be able to saved and took to a shelter/camp that was meant for any survivors

Since then you lived with the regret of not telling him about the baby , both you and Hyun su moved in together in your first apartment at Green home , since you were a bit more social you made a few friends inside the building , but most of you time was spent with Hyun su

When the apocalypse started. Hyun su started to have serious noise bleeds , times where he would black out or there were even moments you felt like he want your Hyun su

After gathering with the remaining survivors you soon learned that Hyun su was a special case of the monsters that now roamed the city

After a while you found out you were pregnant, deciding it wasn’t the right time as you kept the pregnancy to yourself .. not knowing Hyun su would turn his self in the same night

Now here you were a year later with two beautiful children, a boy and a little girl , even though it’s been just a year they were already at the age of 12

Before giving birth to Cha Hee (son) and Cha Hui (girl) , you escaped from the shelter finding a small abandoned camper , the only joy out it was that it was two small rooms that had a full sized bed in both , a small kitchen and dining area that was in the middle and the driver seat that was locked right when you entered the camper

Your pregnancy was pretty easy we’re surprised you along the way , except that you felt your self changing as you started to hear a voice in your head , you belly barely as it looked like you were just bloated from a good meal or something, but you knew you were pregnant, the hardest part of the whole pregnancy was the birth , since you didn’t have any support, you ended up giving birth to the twins inside the camper in your small room , bring down on a spare dry towel you had to hold in your scrams as you gave birth to both Cha Hee and Ch Hui

After giving birth to the twins you noticed how much you’ve changed, your eyes had I slight hit of green with time making your neon eyes now look unnatural, you half grew a bit longer as you soon realized that you gave in to your desires , now becoming a monster but some how keeping it in control.. maybe it was because you had not one but two people to protect

After a few months after having Cha Hee and Cha Hui you soon realized that they weren’t exactly human either , as Cha Hee was born with bright blue eyes , Cha Hui was born with Green eyes

There was a few differences between the two as Cha Hee, he was a quite child , who could make a person go crazy after a certain amount of days soon resulting in their suicide or the death of everyone around them including them selves if you were lucky enough to stay on his good side he would use his touch to show your most happiest memories

Cha Hui was a bit different she was a cold child , always quietly analyzing others , but even though she seemed cold she was super nice once you got to know her , her touch could either set your ablaze as you scream in pain and agony or you could fall into a deep sleep that no one could wake you out of as you live out your deepest fears over and over again, but like her brother if your were no harm to her mother or Cha Hee she could show you your happiest memories ,you didn’t discover this until it happened in front of your eyes

After that you had Cha Hee and Cha Hui to keep on a special pair of gloves that were handmade by you, it made you feel a bit more safe if no one would discover there powers then any one would assume their normal kids , the only thing that would make any one realize their twins it their dark black hair that resembles Cha Hyun Su’s

As you laid in your bed as you start to realize that it’s been quite for a while now , thinking that the the twins were in bed as you stand to your feet , slowly walking out of your room and you peek into their room that was located on the right of yours

Seeing that the room was empty as you start to become slightly worried , heading for the kitchen finning area to see that they weren’t there either

‘Where are they’ the voice in stead your head says as you frantically search the camper a second time just to make sure , but when you saw they weren’t there you quickly open the doors to the camper heading down the three small steps as you head out the door looking left and right frantically as you run straight heading down the road as you call out both Cha Hee and Cha Hui’s names

Not getting a response from neither of your babies as you start to panic thinking of all the possible things that could have happened to them

What if they ran into humans? Or worse the military? , as your mind starts to cloud with questions that only made you panic more , you soon came to a hault as you heard a few giggles , looking around the area as you notice a small grader dome

Taking a small breathe in and out as you head inside the small dome , eyeing scanning around the flowers that bloomed with life , causing you to feel a bit calm but still worrying for you babies

After a while of walking down the small trail you come to a stop , as you feel your body tense up , confusion shown in your eyes

There was Cha Hee and Cha Hui.. but they weren’t alone , there stood Hyun su with a girl that seemed to be around the age of 14 as she talked to Cha Hui who had a small smile on her face , it took a while before Cha Hyun su noticed your presence , eyes locking with your as Ah-yo turned to see why Hyun su was so quite , eyes slowly following his as they land on you soon catching the attention of the twins

“MOMMY” Cha Hee screams out with joy as he runs toward you wrapping his arms around your waist with a smile

“Mom , look we made a new friend” Cha Hee says as pulls away from the hug grabbing a hold of your hand as he pulls you towards Hyun su , Ah-yi and Cha Hui as Cha Hui soon stand beside you wrapping her arms around you as she looks at Ah-hi and Hyun su

“This is Ah-yi and Hyun su” Cha Hee says as he points to both Ah-yi and Hyun su

“And this is our mom , Reader” Cha Hui says as she tightens her hold eyes still watching Ah-yi and Hyun su who eyes now look at you with pure shock

“M-Mom…” Hyun su says as his head hangs low , Ah- yi noticing the hurt in his voice , after a few seconds his head slowly rises eyes now shining blue as he gives you a cold stare

“ After everything we done for you.. to keep you safe , and you have some assholes child , correction children” Hyun su says eyes staring daggers in to yours as you feel a shiver flow down your spine

“I-It’s not like that” You reply as you look down down your feet not able to look him in the eye

“Wait..you know her” Ah-yo says as she looks between you and Hyun su in confusion

“I do actually in fact she’s our dear girlfriend, well was it seems” Hyun su says eyes now looking both at you , Cha Hee and Cha Hui

“I didn’t cheat okay.. I just..” you say looking back in to Hyun Su’s eyes tears now threading to fall

“I don’t know how to tell you and it was to late.. you let us alone” you managed to choke out as tears start to flow, Shock showing on Hyun Su’s face as he looks between Cha Hee and Cha Hui

“T-Their .. mine” Hyun su says eyes slowing turning to normal as he slowly falls to his knees , tears falsify flowing down his face as he looks at you with a sorry expression

“I-I didn’t mean to .. I-I just wanted to keep you safe..I..” before he could finish his sentence Cha Hee warped his in a warm hug as Cha Hui looks him in his teary eyes

“So .. your our father” Cha Hui says as her green eyes watches Hyu su closely as he slowly nods his head in agreement, slowly walking towards Hyun su as she slowly wraps her arms around him pulling him and Cha Hee in a hug

“I had a weird feeling .. it explains why we were okay with you keeping us company” Cha Hee says with apart smile

After a while of hugging , Hyun su informs you on Ah-yi and how he has been taking care of her since she was pretty much born , listening as Hyun su talks about Ah-yi like a proud father , which he was, he starts to feel guilty about missing his own kids growing up deciding to keep not only Ah-yo but you and both Cha Hee and Cha Hui close and safe

#black reader #fem reader #female reader #sweet home #sweet home 2 #sweet home imagines #x reader #cha hyun soo #cha hyunsu #cha hyun su x reader #sweethomefanfic #sweet home x reader #sweet home fanfic #kdrama x reader

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happilyhertale · 1 year

Note

I have an aemond targaryen x reader fic idea in mind for ya! what about an aemond x fem!reader in which the two have always had a close friendship with each other since they were children, similar to alicent and rhaenyra's (reader would, of course, be the daughter of rhaenyra). the two would ride on dragonback together and do things childhood friends always did. although, that friendship crumbles after the terrible night that aemond lost his eye and the day reader is named heir to the throne.

years later, reader returns with her family as queen and with her dragon in tow. aemond and her reunite. not once did the two ever forget each other, aemond spent days and nights thinking of his best friend while reader dreamed of seeing the wonders of the world with him, maybe even more.

slight angst, fluff and smut pls? 💜💜💜

(also, I know her being queen probably doesn't make sense timeline wise but...yeah!)

Everlasting love - Aemond Targaryen x female!reader

Pairing: Aemond Targaryen x fem!reader

Author’s note: Hey you (:

This One Shot Story was requested by the wonderful @chainsawsangel💜

And is at the same time the steamy Aemond one shot as a thank you for 1000 followers 🖤

I hope you will enjoy it! English is my second language, soo.. please forgive me if I made any mistakes (: 18+ NSFW

Word count: 5.8 k

Other stories of mine

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You came into this world on a warm and radiant summer day. The sun shone brilliantly above, and the sound of waves crashing against the cliffs of Dragonstone echoed in the distance. You were the first precious offspring of your mother, Rhaenyra Targaryen, and your father, Laenor Velaryon. Thankfully, the birth went smoothly, and just a few days later, your family returned to King's Landing.

You were born not long after Aemond Targaryen, the second prince of the realm. The two of you were said to be very close as infants. Aemond was quite a restless baby and needed a lot of comfort, which often kept Queen Alicent up at night. To give her a break, Aemond was placed in the care of nurses. However, they had great difficulty calming him down and simply got used to the constant crying.

Rhaenyra was deeply pained to witness the suffering of the newborn baby, who also happened to be her half-brother. Unable to bear the sight any longer, she devised a plan to ease his distress - by placing you, a peaceful and attentive infant, in the cradle with him.

She gently placed you next to Aemond in the cradle. At first, you felt a bit annoyed when you saw him, but Aemond's crying immediately stopped. He became interested in you and studied you closely, eventually even giving a small smile. Rhaenyra was pleased to see this and watched over the two of you with contentment. And thus, the two of you rested together in the cozy cradle.

As you rested in your cradle, nestled alongside two dragon eggs, the space felt a bit snug. But every time someone tried to take one of you out of the cradle, the other immediately started to cry.

When you were just six years old, your dragon egg finally hatched in the comfort of your cozy chambers. As you sat by the warm fire, you kept the egg close to ensure your new companion would feel just as snug as it would have with its birth mother.

As you were quietly flipping through the pages of a book, you heard a sudden cracking sound. At first, you assumed it was just the sound of the wood in the fireplace. But the sound repeated itself, followed by a piercing scream that filled the air.

Startled, you looked up and saw a small dragon facing you. You cried out with joy and hurriedly crawled towards the egg. A guard came in because he was startled by your sudden cry. But you paid no attention to him, you were overjoyed. You helped your dragon to free himself from the egg. You broke down the hard shell to make it easier for her to come out. You held out your hand to her and she climbed up. The joy on your face was evident and didn't fade away.

You carried the dragon in your arms and went directly to Aemond's chambers. He was overjoyed for you and enamored with the tiny creature.

You two spent the whole evening saying "Dracarys", hoping it would breathe fire, but nothing happened. You giggled incessantly. When Rhaenyra came to put you to bed, you both persuaded her. You wanted to sleep in bed with Aemond and your dragon with you. Your mother was not at all pleased, but eventually gave in.

You cuddled up with Aemond in his bed, with your dragon nestled between you both. She lay curled up like a small kitten, adding to the cozy atmosphere.

"What are you going to name him?" whispered Aemond to you.

"Him? I think it's a girl..," you chuckled.

Aemond rolled his eyes, "Very well, what do you want to call her?"

You smiled, "I've thought of a few names... But I think Blackfyre is a good name"

Aemond chuckled, "An interesting choice... but I think it's good"

Aemond's dragon egg never hatched. Although you tried to provide him with positive encouragement by explaining that hatching is out of one's control and that some dragon eggs don't hatch at all, it was still very difficult for him to accept this outcome.

But every time you entered the dragonpit, Aemond would accompany you. He was there when you gave Blackfyre her first orders and it pleased him to see how obediently she responded.

He was also there when Blackfyre had her first meal. Each time you both visited, Aemond's happiness was palpable. As a result, Blackfyre grew accustomed to having both of you around.

And so you were with him when your brothers and Aegon surprised him with the pink dread. You were shocked that they would treat Aemond so badly. You comforted Aemond afterwards. He didn't deserve that. But he was deeply depressed. You then argued with your brothers and told them how stupid they were.

And so you sneaked into the hall before dinner. No one else was in the hall yet, but the table was already set. You quickly went to Aegon's place and saw the wine jug. You managed to catch some pee from Blackfyre in the afternoon. It wasn't much, as most of it ran down your hand, but it would do. Now you stood at Aegon's place and poured the dragon pee into the jug. You grinned. Quickly you looked around again before pulling snot up deep from your throat and spitting it into the jug as well. Hearing footsteps from outside, you quickly scurried to your seat. You hear the heavy wooden door open with a loud creak. You look at the door and smile. Your grandsire, King Viserys, came into the hall. With him were Lord Otto and Queen Alicent. Lord Otto and King Viserys seemed to be talking. Queen Alicent smiled at you.

"Hello my sweet," she said softly as she passed you. Queen Alicent was always kind to you. Often she caught you and Aemond trying to steal cakes or biscuits before dinner. But instead of telling your mother about your inappropriate behaviour, she would put on a stern face, let you keep your loot and quickly send you away before anyone else could see you. "Your Highness," you replied with a smile.

When Aemond came into the hall at some point, he still looked sad. He quietly took a seat beside you, seeming lost in thought. Soon after, Aegon arrived and took his own seat. You had been observing him attentively.

"What are you staring at?!" he snapped at you.

"Don't talk to her like that!" suddenly rang out from Aemond.

"Oooh... do you have to be strong in front of her now..." but Queen Alicent interrupted him.

"Aegon! Stop it, now!" she said sternly.

Aegon just snorted and poured himself some wine.

You slowly leaned over to Aemond, "Watch Aegon," you whispered.

"Why?", Aemond asked you irritated.

Aegon put his cup to his lips.

"I might have added some dragon's pee and snot in his wine," you said quietly.

Aemond laughed out loud, causing everyone to turn and look at the source of the noise. You held back a laugh, as you didn't want to draw attention to yourself. Meanwhile, Aegon had emptied his cup and was already pouring himself another drink. He seemed annoyed as he looked in your direction.

Aemond chuckled softly. He looked at you sweetly, "Thank you," he said softly to you. You grinned.

By the time you were ten years old, Blackfyre was big enough to ride. She was a big dragon that grew very fast. Your mother was strictly against you riding Blackfyre. She simply wanted to ensure your safety and was worried that you might accidentally slip off the dragon's back.

But it didn't stop you from riding Blackfyre. Of course you took Aemond with you. Blackfyre was the first dragon you and Aemond rode.

One day, word arrived that Laena Velaryon had passed away. She had made the difficult decision to end her life as a dragon rider during a difficult childbirth. You are now expected to journey to Driftmark to pay your respects at her funeral.

Before you left, you were with Aemond when his father, King Viserys, told him that they would travel to Dragonstone after the funeral. He said that Aemond could claim a dragon there if he was bold enough.

You quickly took hold of Aemond's hand to offer comfort. Although he didn't say anything, you could sense the hurt in his eyes caused by his father's words.

"Don't listen to him," you told Aemond afterwards, "He is indeed the king... but he is not always right. He does not know you. And of course you would be bold enough! You could claim any dragon!"

Aemond had to smile. But you still saw the disappointment in his gaze.

When you were on Driftmark for the funeral, everything happened very quickly. Aemond had no intention of travelling to Dragonstone. He wanted Vhagar. And he got Vhagar.

In the evening he sat with you in your chambers. He had promised that he would sneak into your chambers at night when everyone was asleep. But you only saw him again in the hall. In the middle of the night you woke up. Aemond was not in your chambers, but you heard loud conversations and shouting. Cautiously you got up. Quietly you went out into the corridor. You followed the voices and arrived at the hall. Everyone was gathered there. And then you saw Aemond. He was injured. A maester was sewing something in his eye. You went to him, but were held back by Daemon. He held you back with his arm and looked down at you. He just shook his head gently and pushed you carefully behind his big body. You didn't even take your eyes off Aemond.

Instead, you snuck into his chambers at night. He was lying on his bed, asleep. He had been given a lot of poppy juice, yet he had whimpered in his sleep. You climbed onto his bed and wrapped your little arms around him. He slowly stopped whimpering. You still had a calming effect on him, as you did in the cradle.

At bedtime, you made a habit of applying ointment to his scar to help ease the pain and aid in the healing process. Unfortunately, the maesters who had been assisting with this task were not gentle and caused Aemond to flinch in pain. One night, it became unbearable and Aemond was on the verge of tears. Feeling frustrated, you took matters into your own hands the following evening and took the ointment from the maester without saying a word.

"Princess. I must apply the ointment to Prince Aemond. You don't know how to do that"

"You are rough in applying it. You will not touch his scar again", you replied.

"Princess..." but you interrupted him.

"I have already successfully commanded Blackfyre to breathe fire. Would you like to feel that?", you looked coldly at him.

The maester paused. Then he tilted his head slightly and left the chambers.

Aemond sat speechless on the bed.

"You... You don't have to do this..." he finally said quietly.

"Oooh... don't be silly," you replied.

You went to the bed where he was resting, took some ointment from the bowl with your fingers, and gently spread it on his scar. Aemond had closed his good eye tightly, seemingly bracing himself for pain, but to his surprise, it didn't hurt. Gradually he opened his eye and saw you smiling at him with tenderness.

"Better?" you asked softly. He gave a small nod of his head, and from that moment forward, you diligently applied the soothing ointment that had been provided by the maester.

You also encouraged him that he is still the great person he was before the accident. You stood by his side and helped him to overcome his insecurities, even going so far as to help him regain his confidence with a sword.

In fact, you just kept hitting him with the wooden sword until he had enough of it and finally picked up a wooden sword and hit back. It was a challenging process, but you never stopped encouraging him to keep going but to continue now more than ever. To learn anew how he has to attack with the sword. At what angle the opponent must never stand so that he could see him well. And he did not give up.

During the day you encouraged him and at night you held him.

You still went to the dragonpit together regularly. But now Vhagar was with you. Together you often rode your dragons. Vhagar is bigger than Blackfyre, but not by much. Together you explored the skies. Only the rumbling of the dragons and your giggling could be heard from the air. Often you sat in the dragonpit afterwards. You had been lying in the dirt, hiding behind your dragons. But you enjoyed it. You sat there for hours and imagined all the things you wanted to discover. Where you wanted to travel. Of course you want to explore everything with your dragons. Perhaps one day you will fly to Essos. See the remains of Valyria.

When you are six and ten years old, you have been named heir to the throne. You have been chosen as the successor to your mother's throne, which comes as a surprise to you. Even though you are the eldest child, you had always assumed that your younger sibling Jace would inherit the crown. You're now uncertain about whether you're ready to take on the responsibilities of ruling as queen.

Aemond was still very close to you. You even sleep in bed together from time to time. It's just that it's felt a little different now. You had noticed that you often just look at him. As soon as you noticed it, you felt uncomfortable and your cheeks turned red.

Aemond was a little more subtle in his approach. He liked to watch you when you were asleep. When the moon shone into the room and made your silver hair glow. Sometimes he even dared to gently stroke your cheek. Just so he could see you gently wrinkling your nose in your sleep.

When you received the news that you were to become queen, you went straight to Aemond. Aemond was very happy for you, as usual. And in the evening, he surprised you. He came into your chambers through the secret passages, carrying two wine jugs.

"We must celebrate your becoming heir to the throne," he grinned at you. You had to chuckle softly.

You drank almost all the wine and lay together on your bed. Not a minute passed in silence, you talked the whole time. Until he suddenly looked straight at you, "You know... I like to watch you sleep..," His cheeks were red from all the wine, but you saw them get even redder, "..Because when you lie on this side in bed..", He pointed with his hand to the side of the bed facing the window, "..the moon shines on you... And...", he paused and you looked into each other's eyes. He sighed quitley.

"I love you... y/n.. I don't know since when... But... it feels like...", but you just kissed him.

He was irritated at first, but didn't hesitate long and returned the kiss. His lips felt warm and soft. The taste of the wine was on his lips. Your lips were sore and red when you first broke the kiss. You just looked at each other and smiled. You have not said much. Aemond's hand was on your cheek. Slowly he stroked your cheek with his fingers. His thumb gently caressed your lips. Until he leaned forward again and you kissed once more. You couldn't ignore the warmth and pinching between your thighs any longer and slid closer to him. But you broke the kiss again. You looked at each other, your breathing was rapid. Aemond gently stroked your arms. No one said anything. You looked deep into each other's eyes and somehow it seemed clear, you both wanted the same thing. Aemond kissed you gently and rolled onto you carefully. As he lay on top of you and pressed his hips against you, you felt something hard. It pressed right against your warm core. But it felt strangely good when Aemond pressed his hips against you. A soft moan came from you.

That night you sleep together. He was your first man. You were both inexperienced and so you both explored your bodies together. You undressed each other. You let your hands wander over each other's bodies. Every time your hands discovered a new spot, soft moans and gasps filled your chambers. You giggled a lot and kissed a lot more. It was indescribably beautiful. The act itself, when he was finally inside you, didn't last long. But you will never forget how much you felt connected to him all the time.

Aemond held you all night. He lay close to your back. You felt his chest against your body. How it slowly rose and fell. Again and again he gently kissed your neck.

The next morning, as usual, he was no longer there. At dawn he always left your chambers secretly so as not to be caught.

At noon a servant came to you, your mother wished to see you. When you arrived to meet her, she informed you that you would be temporarily relocating to Dragonstone. While she didn't provide any specific reasons, she did explain that this would be an opportunity for you to receive the necessary training and preparation to eventually assume the throne.

But you did not want to go.

"Mother... no... I will not leave the capital," you told her.

"Yes, you will. On Dragonstone you will be prepared to rule the realm one day"

You snorted, "Why can't I be prepared for that here? Here, I could see first-hand how the decisions of the realm are made"

You felt yourself getting angry.

Your mother had shaken her head slightly, "To understand these political decisions, you must first understand the political theories on which these decisions are based. Then you can deal with making decisions. And on Dragonstone, you don't need to fear any distractions"

Tears came to your eyes. But you refused to cry now. You knew your mother and the look in her eyes. The discussion was over.

You went to see Aemond. In his chambers you told him about it.

He simply looked at you. For the first time you could not interpret the look on his face.

"Do you want to leave?" he asked quietly.

Silence reigned in his chambers.

"I... I don't know... My mother said it would be the right thing... To prepare me for my regency... I... I don't know...", you were unsettled.

Aemond clenched his hands into fists, "But you must know if you want to go!"

Aemond was feeling very worried and anxious. He was afraid of losing you because you were the most important and positive aspect of his life.

"Then tell me to stay!" you suddenly shouted at him. You were angry. Those you don't want to hear it from tell you what to do. And the one person you wish would tell you what to do doesn't tell you what to do... that you should stay.

But he just looks at you, "You know I can't do that... I can't say that... You have to do what is right," he said almost coldly. He had to pull himself together not to cross the room, to take you in his arms. He wanted you to stay... that he was the right one for you.

But you understood it differently. That he didn't want you to stay.

So you just nodded, "Very well... If that's what you want. Then I'll go"

Tears welled up in your eyes. He said your name, but you just left his chambers.

That night Aemond did not come to your chambers.

You spend the next few years on Dragonstone. You actually had enough time there to prepare for your duties as queen by studying and learning political theory. However, you can't help but wonder if you could have achieved the same level of preparation by staying in King's Landing and discussing these topics with Aemond…

You miss Aemond. Terribly much. Your memories of your last night together are beautiful, but the fact that you were torn apart makes it all the more difficult to bear. You often lie awake for hours. You long for the times when Aemond would come to your bed and you could talk for hours. You miss his embrace... Whenever you receive a letter from King's Landing, you hope to hear something about Aemond, but unfortunately, you don't get any news. You're afraid to reach out to him because you don't want to be rejected, even though you can't stand the silence.

Meanwhile, Aemond is suffering just as much as you are. He longs for you and misses you dearly. He can't sleep at night because he constantly thinks about you. He is restless at night. He is restless because he yearns for your physical presence - your body, warmth, and gentle breathing beside him.

He needs your presence and comfort by his side. He remembers when he told you to do the right thing and go away, and those words still haunt him to this day. He wishes he could take it back and instead ask you to stay.

But now the time had come for you to go back to King's Landing. Your grandsire, King Viserys, is getting worse and your mother is to take the throne after his death. The flight to King's Landing is quiet. The wind blows through your hair as you watch the water pass beneath you. Blackfyre enjoys the flight. Your brothers and your stepfather Daemon are flying with you. And then you see it in the distance. The walls of the capital appear in the distance.

Aemond is in the library. He is sitting by the window reading a book. When a shadow passes in the sky, he looks up. He sees a big dragon in the sky and it is not Vhagar. A smile curls his lips. He is paralysed for a moment, but then he slams the book shut and gets up from his chair.

As you and your family are welcomed into the courtyard, Queen Alicent and Princess Helaena smile at you. Aemond is not to be seen. You smile politely, but the thought spreads through your mind that Aemond might not want to see you.

But Aemond is too excited. His hands tremble slightly. Like the night you made love for the first time. He walks towards the dragonpit, he wants to ride Vhagar. But when he arrives at the dragonpit, he is distracted. He sees Blackfyre and has to smile. He pauses for a moment as Blackfyre slowly turns her head in his direction. Cautiously, he walks towards Blackfyre, slowly raising his hand. She recognises him and grumbles slightly. As he stands beside her, he gently strokes her neck. He immediately feels her warmth flooding his palm.

"Rytsas gevie...", he whispers (Hello beautiful). She grumbles slightly again.

"Gaomagon ao remember nyke?" he says softly with a smile on his lips (Do you remember me)

When suddenly another voice sounds.

"Sīr ao sepār dekuragon bē naejot iā strange zaldrīzes?" you stand behind him (So you just step up to a strange dragon)

He stiffens for a moment.

"Issa daor bona strange..," he replies without turning around (She's not that strange..)

You have to smile as he slowly turns around. He smiles too and you are speechless. He has grown into an impressive man. Even through his clothes you can see that his slim, tall body must have more muscles. His hair is longer and falls over his shoulder. It is tied slightly so that it does not fall in his face. The scar looks much better, it seems to have healed.

"Have you taken care of your scar?" you ask gently.

He nods slightly. The smile does not leave his lips.

"With the ointment... that I... applied every night?", you whisper.

He nods again, "The maesters wanted to try another one in the meantime... But I didn't want to..." he says softly.

You smile softly.

He slowly approaches you and takes you in his arms without hesitation. You put your arms around his body.

"I missed you," he whispers.

You just nod, wanting to hold back the tears.

After a while he leans back, looks you in the face, "And... have you learned how to rule?" he smiles at you.

You laugh lightly, "Oh get ready for something... my brain has been fed so much information..."

He chuckles softly, "I'm curious..."

You sit down behind Blackfyre, leaning against the walls of the dragonpit and talk. Just like you did when you were children.

When all of a sudden he looks at you, "You know... So much has happened. In the time that you weren't there"

You nod slightly, "I know..." you say softly.

He lets his hands slide over his thighs and sighs. His gaze is fixed on the floor, "I am to wed a Baratheon daughter," he says softly.

It is quiet in the dragonpit. Your chest tightens. It is hard for you to breathe. You have expected this, but still you do not know how to deal with it.

As he slowly turns his gaze to you to see your reaction, you just nod slowly.

Tears welling up in your eyes. Your eyes burn and your throat tightens. You clear your throat. You don't want him to see you like this. When he looks at the floor again, you quickly wipe your eyes with the back of your hand.

After a few moments you catch yourself, "And...? Do you want to wed her?" you ask quietly.

He snorts, "You know very well that I don't want to..."

You nod again, "Yes... But we have to do what's right..."

You look at him and he looks you straight in the eye. At first you see pure pain in his gaze, when suddenly his gaze warms.

He nods slowly, "Fuck it, yeah. I have to do the right thing," he says suddenly.

He leaned forward and pressed his lips to yours. The love he had for you inside him had build to its maximum, beyond the point of logic or reason, and he gave himself over to you. His mind and heart become one as the two of you kissed. The world around you seemed to disappear, and all that mattered was the feeling of your body against his, and the taste of your lips against his.

You are startled at first. You feel the emotions in this kiss, how Aemond gives himself to you. But you can't help yourself, you return his kiss and pull him towards you. His hand is on your neck, his thumb gently strokes your cheek as he deepens the kiss. His touch... his hand on your neck, his lips on yours... It is all you feel. He is so close to you in that moment. Your lips, your mouths... You breath your breath into each other's. There are no word's, there is only your kiss.

Slowly you undo the buckles of his waistcoat. You interrupt the kiss. Your lips are reddish from your passionate kisses. You kiss gently along his jaw, down to his neck. nibbling lightly on the soft skin. You hear him moan lightly. Your breath is warm against his neck and your lips on his skin were like a flame.

He takes your face in his hands, you look into each other's eyes. You are breathing heavily. He pulls you close, gently kisses your nose. His hands slide from your face down to your shoulders, slowly he starts to open your dress. Gently he slips your dress over your shoulder. His lips follow his fingers. Soft kisses find their way onto your collarbone. He slides your dress further down and his lips leave a fiery trail on your skin. You moan softly as his lips are on your breast, gently cupping your nipple. He moves his tongue over one of your nipples before taking it into his mouth. You gasp out and again a moan comes from your lips. Gently he sucks on the sensitive skin. His teeth lightly graze your nipple and he bites down gently. You hiss slightly and your hands slide into his hair, you grab him by the hair and pull him closer to you.

His hands pull your dress further down. You feel your arousal rising between your legs. You press your thighs together a little, hoping to experience some satisfaction. You take his face in your hands, pull him to you and kiss him greedily, you are panting. You feel him grinning against your lips. Carefully you bite his lip. He hisses and you chuckle lightly. Your hands slide down his chest and undo more buckles on his waistcoat. He takes off his waistcoat and lays it on the dusty ground. You sit down on the waistcoat and watch him take off his vest. Your gaze immediately falls on his upper body. On his soft skin that now has a few more scars. But you also notice that his upper body is really more defined. You bite your lip lightly. You take hold of his neck and pull him towards you. Wild kisses of a dance of tongues and teeth follow. Blackfyre moves slightly beside you. But she turns a little further in front of you so that you are shielded from all possible glances and her gaze is directed towards the entrance.

Aemond gently pushes you to the ground and kneels between your legs. His kisses become softer and you feel him gently slide his fingers up your thigh. You moan into his mouth as his fingers slide through your wet folds without warning.

"Mmmh... you really missed me," he says softly.

You try to bite his lip again, but he pulls his head away quickly enough and grins. Instead he lets his fingers continue to slide through your folds, spreading your arousal along them. You whimper.

He kisses you again as he leaves gentle but firm circles on your pearl. Your breathing becomes heavier.

"Aemond... please..." you gasp against his lips.

His fingers are instantly away from your folds and you hear a buckle open. Almost immediately you feel the tip of his hard cock slide through your folds. His gaze is fixed precisely on the tip of his cock soaking itself with your arousal. He groans at the sight. He looks at you again and sees you biting your lower lip. He leans forward, devouring more of your kisses. Slowly he pushes forward, guides his hot length into you. You both moan as he pushes further in. He gives you a moment to adjust to his size. Slowly he pushes forward, he gasps.

"Seven hells... you're so tight," he whispers, breathing heavily.

You only whimper. The feeling of him filling you completely is overwhelming.

He continues to thrust, penetrating you further with each thrust. You move your hips rhythmically towards him to meet his thrusts on the way. His thrusts get harder and your breasts bounce every time his pelvis slams into yours. He grunts deeply and grips one of your breasts with his hand. Lightly he squeezes it and bends down. His thrusts don't let up as he encircles your nipple again with his mouth. You cry out and grab his arms.

He looks up at you, "My love... do you want us to get caught?" he whispers.

You bite your lips. He turns his attention back to your nipple. Lets his tongue glide gently around before he nibbles lightly on it again. He moans softly as he notices your walls clench slightly around him. He lets go of your nipple and kisses you again. He leans back a little, gently grips your thigh and wraps it around his waist. You cry out again and try to muffle it in his neck. His thrusts become harder. His eye is closed and he moans deeply as he buries himself in you to the hilt of his cock. Again and again he pushes against your sweet spot. You lie under him and just whimper. You reach for his arms and dig your fingernails into his biceps. "Aemond..." you gasp, "deeper..."

He opens his eye, but the purple in his eye is almost unrecognisable. His eye is blown with lust. Wordlessly he takes your leg from his hip and places it along his torso. Your foot rests on his shoulder and he leans further down towards you.

"Oooh... Fuuuck...", you gasp.

Each thrust hurts, but the pain feels so good. You are convinced that he is going to split you. With a brutal speed, he thrusts into you. With each thrust, his balls slap against your ass and are soaked with your arousal. You whimper as you feel the pressure building in your lower belly.

"I... I'm... so close..." you moan.

Aemond reaches between your bodies and applies pressure to your clit. He notices you clenching hard around his cock.

"Love... come... cum on my cock...", he grunts deeply.

With that he pushes you over the edge. You cry out. He tries to muffle your moans by enclosing your lips with his. Your fingers dig deep into his shoulder. Your walls want to pull his cock in further, want to milk him. He feels his balls twitch. He pulls his cock out of you as he feels his cock start to twitch too. You whimper slightly at the sudden emptiness. He moans and grunts deeply, spreading his seed in the dirt beside you. You are both breathing heavily. Slowly you let your leg slide off his shoulder. Aemond smiles at you, breathing heavily. He looks exhausted, but he is smiling. He lies down beside you.

You look at him and whisper, breathing heavily, "That was better than the first time"

You look at each other for a moment before you both laugh. You turn to him and he puts his arms around you.

After a while, you look up at him, "And... have you seen your betrothed yet?"

He chuckles softly, "No... not yet..."

You smile slightly, "Will you..."

"...I'm not going to wed her," he interrupts you. You look at him, he gently strokes your cheek.

"I don't know how yet. But I will talk to my mother... I..." you notice how he is almost hesitant, almost shy.

"You want to ask if you can wed me?" you ask softly.

He looks at you slightly uncertainly, "Well... If... If you don't want to..."

You just kiss him, "Silly boy..." you whisper.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

Tag list

@aemonds-wifey @hoshi-miharu-blog @arryn-nyx @aemond-targaryenx @praline357

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daemon-in-my-head · 2 months

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I think a prerequisite to understanding Durge and Gortash is understanding the movie Midsommar and its ending. Or rather, how people get lured into cults. It's probably weird to some, but people do incredibly fucked up shit as long as they're lonely enough. As long as they are starved of enough affection.

These guys were completely isolated. One murdered everyone they ever knew without meaning to, only to be snatched up by the person that would manipulate them, and the other one was rejected and discarded by everyone they loved before his brain could even develop properly. They were alone. The entire fucking world rejected them. Nobody batted an eye when they were suffering far beyond what anyone should have to go through. Everyone that mattered to them disappeared in the blink of an eye. At least Gortash certainly spent years like that, for Durge it's implied but tbf the initial event alone would've been traumatic enough.

And then, eventually, when they were at complete rock bottom, after suffering so much, so long, someone came along and offered them acceptance. Offered them affection, offered them the chance to belong somewhere. To have a place to be, a role to play. To be someone. To find people with the same mindset. To find people to admire and to be admired by. They were offered an escape from the overwhelming loneliness and grief. They were offered to be accepted for once.

People will ruin themselves to fit in or to gain the love of another. And they did just that. They blindly ran into the knife because they were promised to belong for once. Because of the simple promise they wouldn't be rejected.

It doesn't rectify what they did, but gods is it understandable that they did what they did. People have done worse for less. They are vile. They're monsters. They're horrible beings. But they were conditioned into it. They were manipulated to such a frightening degree that they willingly chose to follow masters who would torment them even after death, knowing what they were getting into, but still choosing it just to escape the fucking loneliness. They gave themselves up just to belong. They certainly are to blame, but so are the people who's sins they've inherited.

And just to be clear, that's also the major difference between Karlach and Gortash. Karlach initially grew up being somewhere, being accepted, being loved. Yes, she, too, was betrayed and sold, but she was an adult when it happened. She knew love. She knew what it was like. She could rely on that glimmer of a hope that the world didn't outright despise her. Gortash didn't. He was sold as a fucking child. He never knew. He didn't have the resources. He was just fucking desperate and already broken and crushed in ways you could never break Karlach. She had loving parents. Gortash's mother wished she would've killed him before he was even born. Karlach was loved once, Gortash has ever since been told the world would've been a better place if he simply didn't exist.

Also, congratulations, this makes durgetash so much more painful to think about. Cuz they were willing to reject whatever helped them survive for the affection of one another.

#cw abuse #cw cults #bg3 spoilers #enver gortash #durge #durgetash

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rayroseu · 3 months

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Now that I think about it, maybe the reason why Malleus' Magic is so powerful, because before he was born he was copiously sustained with powerful magicians like Meleanor, Maleficia, and Lilia.

The egg is born through love but only through magic can that egg finally hatch (that's where Lilia exhausted his magic). Maybe a fae's power is determined to how much magic can their parents "exhaust" in making them born(?).

So, essentially, His magic consists of the magic of powerful mages.

1) Meleanor (as his biological mother),

2) Maleficia (her magic was life support while he was incubated),

and 3) Lilia (who hatched him).

So when we fight Malleus, we are not just simply fighting "Malleus" himself, but rather a lethal culmination of Meleanor, Maleficia, and Lilia's raw power.

That's why it feels so impossible to defeat him because we're essentially fighting three powerful magicians at once, it's just in the form of "Malleus Draconia."

All these magicians have high-profile powerful magic, and all of them are faes too. I often assumed that Malleus was rich in magic because he's a Draconia but no, Meleanor used her full magical strength as well but the story didn't showcase her casting some world altering magic like stopping time and encasing human souls inside a magical barrier— Only Malleus did...

Maybe there's really no person who can defeat him as STYX theorizes... Not even Maleficia. While its true she's powerful, but based on this interpretation, she can fight Malleus, but fighting Malleus is also the same as fighting her magic, mixed with Meleanor's and Lilia's (and Levan's even though we don't know how powerful he is).

Levan is Malleus' father but so far the story doesn't imply nor mention any significant magical contribution he did to Malleus. The only thing mentioned in the story about Levan's influence was that Malleus is a kind/gentle person because of him.

I like to interpret he's powerful too! So maybe, its not just Meleanor, Maleficia, Lilia, but also Levan.... if he got the chance to bless Eggmalleus some magic before he lost. So its actually FIVE HIGH CLASS MAGICIANS were fighting against if we fight Malleus ☠️☠️ That's why he's truly "god-like".

I really like the fact that Malleus is undefeatable even by raw power or raw cleverness (like using technology). I know that's still going to be a big part, but its more intriguing for me to how TWST will handle stopping Malleus without obvious offense.

They'll only need to rely on one thing that humans are really great of practicing (more than faes): communication. Maybe the solution may be as simple as talking to Malleus that he needs to stop lol Because really, at this point, thats the most staple choice we have, anything else takes too much time💔😔

Not in the accusing way, but in a kind and understanding way. But, I know that's unlikely to happen knowing how "cringed" NRC is towards displaying kindness (which is often their downfall lol). But remember, the resolution at the fairy gala event? Where everyone was antagonizing the Diurnal Fairies, assuming they'll be stubborn and that they're thieves so they should take the stone without asking them, but then it turns out once they got caught and Silver talked with them apologetically and with understandingly, the Queen understood it and let the stone go...

Maybe Malleus would act like that Queen too?? After all, no one still talks with him about how "indeed, it is painful to suffer and lost, but there's merit in their existence, so we don't need to cut them out of our lives, because even those painful experiences helps us achieve our true dreams." or just a simple "You won't be alone even if Lilia passes away. I'm sure Lilia will be more happy to live his life and live it longer because he'll be remembered by Malleus even if he's just a memory now." or maybe a blunt "The world doesn't revolve around anyone, so Malleus has no rights to dictate how we should live our lives" lol

I feel like Malleus is just a person who never really thinks about other interpretations unless its been said to him... That's why I'm wishing that Book 7 resolves his overblot by not fully painting him as a "catastrophic dark fae" (like what the humans viewed Meleanor), like there'll be a balance between depicting him as a villain but also as a flawed person.

But yes I do agree that the biggest hurdle in defeating Malleus, may not just be his overpowered magic, but also his defiance in believing that he can understand humanity and humanity will understand him 😭😭

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cosmicjoke · 20 days

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"Bad Boy" Analysis:

Alright, “Bad Boy” analysis, here we come! Strap in guys, because this one is going to get long.

So, we open with a shot of Levi and his mother, drinking tea while looking out over the Underground City.

The first thing you notice is how filthy Levi’s and Kuchel’s clothing is, and indeed, the first thing Levi mentions is how he was “born in the Underground” and then he says that he’s only “ever seen things that are Underground”. Right away, this sets the tone for the story, and will be vitally important to understanding what we realize about Levi’s worldview as the story continues.

He talks about how “hopelessly dirty” the Underground is, and says even the air is “rotten”.

And then he talks about how, the more he realizes this, the more he feels that his mother’s posture is “so elegant”.

So we see right away how Levi is idealizing his mother. We also never have a clear view of Kuchel’s face. We see her sitting beside Levi from behind, and then we see her smiling at him, but it’s just an impression. A sense of her, more than a fully formed picture.

Levi’s memory of his mother is probably vague at best. I think he was likely too young when she died to really remember her clearly. He remembers her as “elegant”, and he remembers this of her particularly in contrast to the filth and despair of the world he lives in, that being The Underground City. A single point of light in all the darkness surrounding him. Again, this will become important as the story develops. But we see from this first page that Levi has latched onto this memory of his mother, this picture of her as elegant, as the only good in his life. Something represented by his memory of her containing a single shaft of light pouring down from above, directly onto them. Again, the one point of light in a world of darkness. Again, that will become significant as the story goes on.

We immediately cut to the next scene, and it’s a sharp contrast, because we go from the relative peace of the moment with his mother, the single point of positivity in his life, to a scene of him being severely physically assaulted in the streets. We also have it confirmed for us that, indeed, Levi’s memory of his mother is vague, and truly only an impression. He narrates:

“That’s the only thing I remember clearly. I absolutely did not want that to be lost.”

Levi is telling us here that the only thing he remembers clearly of his mother is her elegance, and it’s that single thing that he “absolutely did not want to be lost.”

Frankly, what this tells us about Levi’s life is that it’s nothing but a world of hurt and pain, suffering and despair. He has no joy in his life, no hope, no warmth, other than this single impression of his mother’s beauty and grace. And as such, it’s the one thing he doesn’t want to lose. The one thing he’s desperate to hold onto. Again, this will become deeply significant as the story continues.

We then cut to a wide shot of what exactly is happening, as Levi narrates these thoughts.

He’s being brutally attacked by a full-grown man, kicked in the chest and/or abdomen so hard, that it sends him flying bodily across the ground. We also notice that Levi is bleeding profusely already from the nose and mouth, meaning he’s already taken blows before this first shot of him being beaten.

The next panel shows us Levi curled on the ground, obviously in severe pain, arms curled around himself, hand gripping his chest as if he can’t breathe, his face twisted in agony. He’s severely beaten up, his face a bloody mess, and we can also see from the puffs in the air that his breathing is obviously labored.

Now I feel like what’s really important to note about this scene, is when the men doing this to Levi start talking about him, and particularly, the way they start talking about him. The way they regard him.

The man in the glasses points out that Levi is the kid that “Kenny the Ripper” looks after, and that if he finds out, they’re “finished”. And the man beating Levi up says in response:

“Just chop it up like usual and feed it to the pigs, no problem.”

They say “like usual” while talking about chopping Levi up and feeding him to the pigs. That means they’ve done this before, either to other children, or adults, or both. That tells us exactly what kind of people we’re dealing with here. From this line alone, it’s pretty obvious who Levi was referring to when he told Eren on the airship in Liberio that he reminded him of the “scum” he grew up surrounded by in the Underground.

These men are truly vile, truly the worst humanity has to offer. They’re talking here about murdering a little boy as casually and easily as one might talk about the weather. And we see as the scene progresses that this isn’t just talk. They’re fully capable and fully intending on either killing Levi or, as we’ll see, doing him other great harm.

We also find out from the dialog of the man beating Levi up that Levi was the one who sought these men out, in an attempt to retrieve an item that belonged to his mother. And this detail becomes hugely important to note, as it really encapsulates the tragic core of this story from Levi’s childhood.

On the next page, Levi asks the men to “give it back.”, saying “it was my mothers”. Levi isn’t attempting to fight back here, and this is also a really important detail to note, which I’ll go into soon. He’s asking them to give him what should rightfully be his, and the man in the glasses answers that it doesn’t belong to Levi’s mother, because she pawned it when she was sick and struggling to find food. He refers to Kuchel as “Olympia”, which tells us that Levi’s mother was a fairly well-known prostitute in the Underground, and that it’s known that Levi is her son. This is also important to note, because it reveals to us that Levi was treated as the son of a whore, with all the expected disregard and disdain that usually applies to that kind of treatment. Something we see tragically play out with the way these men treat and speak about Levi, specifically.

The man in the glasses continues:

“You’re a filthy thief who snuck onto a cart headed for the surface. You know what’ll happen if you get caught, right? Or was it too much to expect a whore’s child born Underground to consider the consequences?”

I want to break these lines of dialog down, because they demonstrate what I mean about the treatment Levi receives for being the son of a prostitute, and, further, for being born Underground.

First, I think it’s clear from what this man says that these men themselves aren’t from the Underground. They clearly operate down there, because they’re criminals, and the Underground is a largely lawless district, ignored by the above authorities, and so exists as the perfect environment for these sorts of people to practice their brand of criminality.

But the way they refer to Levi as a “whore’s child” that was “born Underground” shows us a kind of blatant disregard and disdain for people who are actually from the Underground. This reflects the general status of people from and living in the Underground as non-citizens of Paradis itself. They have no rights, they enjoy no protections or any of the privileges of the people from the surface, because the residents of the Underground, and particularly, those unfortunate enough to have been born there, are considered as less than human.

The way this man speaks to Levi, the dehumanizing and derogatory and belittling language testifies to that. Levi is seen as “lesser” by these men for not only being the son of a prostitute, but also for having been born Underground. He asks if it was “too much” to expect a “whore’s child born Underground” to consider the consequences, which is a direct insult to Levi’s intelligence. It’s obvious this man considers Levi to be inferior to him and all the rest of them, simply due to the circumstances of Levi’s birth.

I think it’s fair to extrapolate from this, and from how we see Levi regard his own worth as the story continues, that this was the general treatment Levi was met with all throughout his youth.

He’s treated as less than human. He’s treated as inferior and stupid.

And then things get really horrific.

One of the other men says:

“Hey… more importantly, I think this one might sell.”

And then the one gripping Levi by the hair says:

“I think so, too. Selling anything is our motto, after all.”

"This one" might sell, and selling "anything" is our motto, he says, as if Levi is a thing to be bought and sold. They treat and talk about Levi here like he's a piece of merchandise.

And then he says:

“We should make him do the same job as his mother. He might have inherited her talents.”

They’re talking about selling Levi into a human trafficking ring, here. They’re talking about selling him into sexual slavery.

They say “we should make him do the same job as his mother.” This is a direct and obviously very real threat of sexual assault and rape made against Levi.

Remember, this is a little boy they’re saying this about.

Now something really significant happens next, because it’s this comment about his mother that finally spurs Levi on to fight back. It’s important, because of what it tells us about Levi’s own state of mind.

The next panel shows us Levi at last getting angry. He punches the man in the face and screams:

“Die!! Pig.”

What’s so important to note about this is that it wasn’t for himself that Levi got upset. It was for his mother. Again, the same mother whose memory is the only good thing Levi has in his entire, wretched life.

He’s defending her honor, here. It’s only when her character is under attack that Levi feels compelled to fight. Sounds familiar, doesn’t it?

The same way Levi is motivated to fight for others throughout the entirety of “Attack on Titan”. The way we see throughout the main story how Levi never fights for himself, but always for someone else. This is going to become super relevant in a moment.

Because all Levi gets for his attempt to defend his mother is the man beating him nearly to death.

He starts smashing down on Levi’s face and head with a hammer fist. If anyone has ever watched mixed martial arts, they’ll know what that is. It’s when you form a fist, and use the edge of it to hit someone on the ground, rather than the knuckles. If you want to know how awful that is, form a fist and smash the edge of it into your open palm as hard as you can, and that should give you an idea of how much damage this can cause.

This man starts beating Levi like this over and over.

The man in the glasses says:

“Hey… what happened to selling him?”

He says this in a manner that makes it clear he doesn’t actually care. And the man beating Levi says:

“If you don’t discipline him, you won’t get any customers.”

It’s painfully apparent here that this man is using the idea of “discipline” as an excuse simply to hurt Levi. He goes on to say:

“We’ll teach him a lesson so he won’t think of going against us again. We’ll jack up the price for the added value.”

This entire scene displays such a vicious sadism, that I honestly had to stop reading for a moment, it was so disgusting. This man is clearly enjoying beating Levi like this.

Then the man in the glasses says, with the same, uncaring casualness:

“We can’t sell a corpse though… That’s no good.”

Again, I think it’s important to note the way these men are speaking about a child, and about the horrific things they’re doing and planning on doing to this child.

They literally feel nothing. No remorse, no guilt, no sympathy or empathy of any kind. Levi is just a thing to them that they can use for their own satisfaction. And, again, given what we’ll soon realize about Levi’s sense of self-worth, it seems clear to me that this was the general treatment he was met with up to this point in his life.

Another man says:

“It’s pig food.”, while another says “Hey, let’s leave”

All while, in the background, we see this man beating Levi over and over and over.

He’s going to kill Levi, that’s clear. He’s going to beat him to death. And the other men care so little, they don’t even pay attention. It isn’t worth their consideration, even.

Now here is where we get to the real heart of what this story is telling us about Levi.

While he’s being so brutally beaten, and we see the man from Levi’s perspective, hitting him again and again, his expression murderous, Levi’s narration continues, and he says:

“I knew it was reckless. I never thought I would be able to get my mother’s belongings back. I just wanted to rebel. I wanted to spit… on this shitty world…”

Why this is important, why this is so significant to understanding Levi’s character, is because it tells us what Levi’s mental condition was growing up, and that condition was one of such deep despair and depression over the state of his existence, that he believed a single act of guaranteed to fail rebellion against that state was preferable to the thought of his life continuing at all. It means Levi’s life was so bad, so hopeless and so without any light or joy or goodness, that he was okay with dying, and even actively sought out a situation in which there was nearly a guarantee that he would, for a single moment of defiance against the hellish reality he was living. It means Levi saw no real value in his continued existence at all.

It means Levi was suicidal.

As a young child.

It should be obvious why this is so significant in regard to Levi specifically.

Because Levi is a character that is literally defined by how much he values life. By how much he believes in the inherent value of life, to the point that protecting and saving life, and, bar that, proving the worth of those lives by imbuing their loss with meaning, is the main motivator behind all of his actions.

We see this play out with Levi attempting to retrieve his mother’s belongings in the first place. Beyond the suicidal intent within that act, it’s reflective of Levi’s deep desire to prove that his mother’s life mattered. That her existence was of worth. He wants to remember her because he believes her life was important, even as he believes his own life is worthless and that he would be better off dead. And here we see demonstrated what will really be Levi’s most defining characteristic throughout his life. That breathtakingly tragic selflessness by which he’s always operated.

For all of Levi’s unwavering belief in the inherent value of other people’s lives, he doesn’t believe in that same, inherent value with regard to his own life.

Again, we see Levi here ready to throw his life away just to spite what he feels is the worthlessness of his existence. Just to “spit on this shitty world”, as he says.

These aren’t the thoughts or actions of a boy who thinks his own life is worth fighting for, or saving.

He goes on to speak about how, when his powers awakened, he didn’t feel anything. He didn’t think it was strange, or significant. He says:

“I didn’t think it was strange that something had happened to me at the time. The pain in my head disappeared, and I felt calm, as if my head was submerged in water. And the idea of what to do came to mind. But I just followed the instinct and acted accordingly."

So it wasn’t a will to live which drove Levi to fight back and kill these men. It wasn’t a fear of death, or a desire to go on. His Ackerman powers awoke because he was in mortal danger, and it was with the awakening of those powers that he was infused with the sudden knowledge of how to fight back. He was simply doing as those powers dictated, almost as if it wasn’t even Levi’s own will which moved him here, but the will of every Ackerman before him, showing him the path.

Now I want to talk about why all of this is so important for how it relates to Levi’s inherent goodness as a person.

Because here’s the thing.

Levi’s belief in the worthlessness and wretchedness of his own life, so powerful as to drive him to intentionally seek out placing it in harms way, to intentionally seek out doing himself harm, all as a giant ‘fuck you’ to the existence of a world that would make his life so horrible, should, by rights, have also informed the way Levi regarded the life of everyone else.

Because that’s what informed Zeke’s disregard for everyone else’s life, wasn’t it? The idea that, because of the wretched state of his own existence, Zeke was conditioned to believe that life was nothing but pain and suffering, and therefore, utterly worthless. And so, he believed, life should therefore be extinguished, not preserved.

And yet, Levi believes in exactly the opposite. He believes that life is precious. That it should be preserved and protected and cherished. So much so, that he joined the Survey Corps because Erwin’s philosophy of being able to eliminate meaningless death through the fulfillment of people’s dreams appealed to him so greatly. Because the reality of meaningless death wasn’t something Levi could ever reconcile with his own belief in life’s inherent value. He couldn’t understand how something so precious could be so easily destroyed. It had never seemed right to him. It had never made sense.

What this shows us, then, is that it wasn’t because of Levi’s life, or because of any outside influence, that he saw value in life, or believed in the value of life. It wasn’t because he was conditioned by the state of his existence, or taught by his circumstances growing up, that life had value. Clearly, Levi was taught and conditioned to believe the very opposite, as evidenced and even proven by the disregard with which he treats his own life. As evidenced and proven by Levi’s life being so devoid of anything good or hopeful, that he thought it would be better to die in one, last act of defiance against the injustice and cruelty of it all, than to go on living.

Because Levi fully believed he wouldn't succeed in getting his mother's belongings back, and he fully believed he was almost certain to die. And so it wasn't truly even about getting his mother's tea set back, so much as it was about holding on to that last memory of her. That's what I mean when I say a last act of defiance against the ugliness of the world. He wanted to retain the memory of his mother's beauty, something her tea set represented to him, as an act of rebellion against the bleak hopelessness and despair of the rest of his life. It was Levi's way of telling the cruelty and ugliness of the world that it could go fuck itself, by exiting from it while remembering his mother's elegance. As if to say to that cruelty and ugliness, you may win, but at least I still fought back.

How then is it, though, that Levi is able to see life as worthwhile and inherently valuable, when his own life growing up did everything in its power to prove to him otherwise?

The answer is simply Levi’s nature. Levi’s inherent goodness.

He and Zeke were each driven to regard their lives as worthless through the conditions of their childhoods. And yet, while Zeke used that as an excuse to treat everyone else’s life as worthless, too, Levi in turn didn’t allow his feelings regarding his life to inform his feelings of anyone else’s. Levi, in spite of his great suffering and despair, still saw the worth in the lives of other people.

That’s true selflessness. True compassion. True empathy. True goodness. Something not rooted in external forces or influence, but something that comes from within. Something innate to ones nature.

And that’s what “Bad Boy” really demonstrates. How it is that Levi’s inherently good nature overcame the horror and despair of his life. How he came out the other side a kind, caring and compassionate man, not because of, but in spite of his own, wretched existence.

Moving on, and now understanding Levi’s depression and suicidal ideation leading up to this event, I also want to talk about how Kenny’s abandonment of Levi directly following must have impacted his already fragile will to live.

Kenny leaving Levi at this point in his life could scarcely have caused more damage. And there’s absolutely no way in hell Kenny didn’t recognize or notice to some extent how depressed Levi was. We see that depression ourselves, plain and marked on Levi’s face, when he later goes back to his and his mother’s room, while he’s brewing the tea.

I’ve spoken before about how what people often mistake as stoicism in Levi’s expression is actually despondence. Is actually sadness. I’ll go over that same expression we see on Levi when I get to that part of the story. But I bring it up now to highlight the travesty of Kenny abandoning Levi in that state, and the impact it had to have had on Levi’s will to live moving forward.

Because I don’t think he could have had much of one.

Levi finally awakens his power, and thus, becomes strong. Thus becomes what Kenny taught him he needed to be to matter.

And it results in nothing but his being left alone. All it results in is further trauma and despair, with Levi experiencing the horror of having taken multiple lives.

Levi can’t have developed anything but negative feelings regarding his own strength, at this point. He’ll have started to associate it, even, with abandonment and his own monstrosity. And maybe he would feel it’s that very monstrosity that leads to his abandonment. His mother died, and he probably thinks that’s his fault, because if she hadn’t had to take care of him, she would probably still be alive. Kenny left him, and that’s also his fault, because being strong wasn’t enough to keep Kenny around, so there must be something else about him that made Kenny leave. I think Levi likely felt he was left alone because there was something inherently lacking in him, something that made him destroy what was good (his mother) and something that made him unwanted (Kenny). And I think that feeling must have been reinforced to him by the brutality of his own violence in killing these men. He became what Kenny told him he should be, but it wasn’t enough, or maybe it was too much. Because what kind of message does it send to Levi, when he finally becomes what Kenny tells him he should be, and instead of it winning him Kenny’s approval, it earns him Kenny’s rejection? It sends the message that Kenny must think he’s a freak, or a monster. That Kenny must decide he’s bad or wrong in some way.

So what, in the face of this utter despair and hopelessness, in the face of this total rejection of his person, compounding an already existent wish to die, could have compelled Levi to go on living?

What I think it was, was the thought that his strength must be for something more than himself.

Isayama has said before that Levi wondered what his strength was for, when with Kenny’s abandonment, he was shown it wasn’t meant for his approval. And we’ve seen demonstrated already Levi’s own lack of will to live. His own disinterest in fighting for himself, and thus, in using that strength for himself.

So he must have wondered, if his strength wasn’t meant to win him Kenny’s love or approval, and it didn’t matter to him if it could be used for himself, what could it be used for? What was it meant for?

I think it was his desire to find out what that could be that kept him going. And once he realized he could use his strength to help people, that's when he decided his life might be of some value. Not for himself, but for others.

When he finally figured out that he could use his strength for that, that he could use it to save lives and better lives, this thing which previously had only seemed to bring him grief and trauma, this thing which he couldn’t understand the reason for having at all, finally made sense. In discovering his strength could help, that was the one thing about it that finally made it make sense to him.

And I think that’s also testament to Levi’s inherent goodness.

That, despite all that negativity, all that horror and suffering, pain and loss, despite his strength seeming to be nothing but a curse, a point of confusion and grief, he still sought an answer to its reason. He refused to give in to the bitterness of accepting it as meaningless, and he still held enough of a belief in the lives of others mattering, in the lives of others being worthwhile, and in people being worth saving, to decide that the reason for his strength was to help them, to save them, to use it to fight for them. Levi decided that, on his own.

That it only made sense to him at last as an instrument to aid others, that proves Levi’s inherent goodness.

Now, getting back to the story, I spoke before about how I find the man in the glasses to be perhaps the most vile of the group, which is saying a lot, since they were all obscene human beings.

After Levi kills them, the man in the glasses in the only one left, and what he does, what he says to Levi, I think, probably caused Levi more harm, and more lasting damage, than what any of the others said or did.

Because this man lies to Levi, and attempts to manipulate him to save his own skin, by painting himself as the only one to have cared about Levi’s well-being, claiming himself to have tried to stop the assault against Levi (something we know is a blatant and cruel lie), and by using Levi’s love for his mother against him. This, in the worst way, reminded me of how Zeke tried to use Levi’s compassion for his comrades as a weapon against him, too. It’s such an ugly, cynical and cruel thing to do.

The man blubbers on about how he tried to tell the man beating Levi that if he kept it up, he would meet with a fate worse than the death penalty (again, a blatant lie), and then he attempts to frighten Levi into thinking the same will happen to him, because he’s just killed all these people, and the man in the glasses is the only one who can save him.

All through this, Levi only stands and stares at the man, giving brief, monosyllabic replies. The man’s desperation increases, his fear mounting as Levi seems almost non-responsive, and then he says:

“So! Hey! Stop doing things that will make your mother in heaven sad! You don’t want to do that, do you?!”

I can’t even begin to put into words how horrible this is.

This smarmy, heartless, disgusting piece of human refuse actually tries to leverage Levi’s love for his mother against him, the same mother that just minutes earlier, this man had spoken of in such derogatory terms, and who had shown such open disregard and disdain toward Levi’s desperation to preserve and hold onto the memory of her.

What’s particularly significant in this exchange, is how I think it impacts Levi’s self-image later on, and how it impacts his ability to find solace in the memory of his mother.

Levi shows no feeling toward what the man is saying in this moment. Levi’s lack of response or expression at all indicates a state of shock. Of not truly absorbing what’s just happened, or what continues to happen.

He takes his mother’s tea set, and tells the man:

“Well… I don’t know.”, in response to the man’s question about not wanting to make his mother cry. And then Levi says:

“But Kenny won’t let you live.”

And the man says, now in tears:

“I want to save you… Believe me…”

To which Levi replies:

“Nobody will believe a kid like me killed all these men, don’t worry. You bastard.”

This shows Levi hasn't fallen for a word this bastard has said. His line "Nobody will believe a kid like me killed all these men, don't worry." is Levi letting the man know that his ploy of being the only one who can "save" Levi from his friends didn't work. All those friends whom he supposedly wanted to save Levi from won't believe Levi killed any of these men, anyway, so, "don't worry". Levi is calling him out on his lie and manipulation. He's calling out his duplicity. That he knows he's completely full of it and only saying what he thinks will save his own skin. It's Levi being sarcastic.

The big mistake the man makes, as well, is in saying what he does about Levi’s mother. Because he invokes Kuchel’s memory, again, the only thing in Levi’s life that he considers good, and particularly, threatens Levi with her memory by saying he’s going to make his mother cry in heaven because he's become a killer, that pushes Levi deeper into anger and disgust.

Levi is fully aware this man wasn't trying to "save" him at all, and further, that he will with certainty go on to traffic and murder other children if he's allowed to live. That he'll go on to do the same to other children that he was trying to do to Levi. All that contributes to why Levi decides to kill him, too.

The next page continues Levi’s narration. He says:

“I awakened the power. Kenny disappeared. The only thing that hadn’t disappeared… were the memories of my mother.”

This is hugely significant.

We see Levi return to the room he and his mother once shared, carrying her tea set. And we then see him make a pot of tea, his expression one of almost desperation as he goes through each step carefully, boiling water, crushing the tea leaves, and then timing carefully how long he needs to steep them in the hot water.

He attempts each step with utmost care. This is something obviously deeply important to Levi that he get right. And yet, we see him struggle to do so. He crushes the leaves in his bare hand, and ends up spilling them all over the place when he tries scattering them into the pot. He spills the boiling water over the pots edge when he pours it in, too. He's clumsy and unsure, a child trying to mimic an adult. Trying to mimic his mother. And we're reminded brutally here that Levi is just a little boy. After everything, he's just a young child who's gone through a level of trauma scarcely imaginable to most people.

And we wonder, why is this so important to him? Why does he try so hard to get this right?

Because Levi is attempting here, I think, to hold on to the one good thing he has left. That idealized image of his mother. This picture of beauty and grace and elegance among a world of filth and despair and rottenness. This one good thing in an otherwise hopeless and meaningless life.

Levi stares despondently at the cup of tea as he sits at the same table he once shared tea with his mother, his face still bloody and beaten from his encounter with the men, and he remembers. He again sees the image of him and his mother, that romanticized memory of light shining down on them, illuminating them, bringing them warmth in an otherwise cold and desolate world.

And then we see Levi in the present again, sitting alone, in the same spot, but the light is gone. There’s nothing but darkness and decay and filth.

Levi picks the cup up, and begins to bring it to his lips to drink, and in the next panel, we see the handle snap off, and the cup fall, shattering against the floor.

And then Levi bursts into tears.

I said in my first analysis post that the cup shattering is what I think snaps Levi out of his state of shock, and I still think that’s true. It's the moment we see the emotion of everything that's happened to him finally come crashing down onto his head. When we finally see the true depth of his devastation. The depth of his psychological distress.

And the cup shattering is also symbolic of Levi losing the last and truly only good thing he’s ever had in his life. The memory of his mother. It’s been ruined by what he’s just done.

This is where the true damage of the man’s words to Levi about making his mother cry reveals itself.

Levi’s tears, I think, are tears of shame, and tears of despair.

I think Levi fully believes what the man had told him, that he’s made his mother cry by becoming a killer, and in so doing, he’s lost the ability for his mother’s memory to bring him comfort.

From here on, the only thing remembering his mother will bring Levi is a sense of self-loathing. A sense of repulsion, for how his own brutality and violence contrasts with so much ugliness against the beauty and elegance of her memory. Now every time he thinks of her, it will be with the belief that she would have hated him and been ashamed of him for killing. And that's what the title of the story refers to. Levi sees himself as a "bad boy".

Because I think Levi believes himself to have become a part of the filth and rottenness of the Underground that he spoke of at the beginning. I think Levi believes, through that, that he’s sullied and destroyed the memory of his mother. That he's no longer worthy of her memory. That the one thing he “absolutely did not want to be lost” is now lost to him completely, and he’s left with nothing but the bleak hopelessness and worthlessness of his own life. With nothing but the “shitty world” he was born into.

In the final panel, we come to the actual present, with Levi sitting with Gabi and Falco. He says:

“Since then, I vowed to never hold the handle of a cup… ever again.”

And we see Gabi in tears, apologizing to Levi for making fun of him for the way he holds his cups, and Falco begging him to stop talking because he’s going to cry, too.

These are two kids who have seen some true horror in their lives, but even they can’t handle the wretched nightmare of this one story from Levi’s childhood. And that’s just it, it’s only a single story. A single story about a life spent in total darkness. A childhood without a single hope, without any light or warmth or goodness. About a man who lost the one, good thing he had because of the world he was born into, and the violence he was forced to learn as the only way to survive. A man who, against all odds, and even against the worthlessness he saw in his own life, still managed to have a greater kindness and compassion and respect towards the lives of others than anyone else. Who still believed, despite it all, that those lives were worth fighting for, and protecting, and remembering.

Levi’s life is such an utter tragedy.

I think “Bad Boy” demonstrates to us, once and for all, the true depth of that tragedy, and beyond that, the true miracle that Levi Ackerman is.

It's the miracle of Levi's inherent goodness overcoming the devastation of his life.

#Levi Ackerman #Bad Boy #bad boy spoilers #analysis #commentary #meta #attack on titan #shingkei no kyojin

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01zfan · 2 months

Text

understanding my faith pt. 4 | l. at

church boy!anton x fem. reader | 3.3k words

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANTON! this is a compilation of a few requests and some other things i got in my inbox heh. also looked it up out of curiosity and anton actually was born on a sunday LMFAO?

contains: religious imagery and metaphors

umf: part one | part two | part three | part four

anton was born on a sunday. it was the first warm day of the season, marking the unofficial start of spring. anton heard the stories of the sun breaking through the storm clouds in the middle of the sermon. the congregation watched in silence as the beam of light casted through the stained glass to shine on the podium. it was then, as if lit on fire by the light that his mother began wailing. despite having a swollen stomach underneath unnecessary layers of clothes she still attended church passionately.

she got up from the pew and stumbled towards the exit, hand on her stomach while groaning in pain. many rushed to her aide but the beam of light was faster. it shined on her back, and when it disappeared behind another cluster of clouds a screaming baby was left in its place. anton was birthed in the aisle between two rows of pews while his mother was surrounded by confused parishioners.

if anton’s mom was treated like the virgin mary then anton was baby christ. he was too young to remember the offerings he received en masse. envelopes full of cash were slipped into his carseat and everyone constantly offered to hold him. anton had fleeting memories of people coming to him when he could first form full sentences, asking for guidance or for his well wishes. that was when he was still mischievous—prayers came with the small price of chocolate or banana milk.

every year when anton’s birthday came around, his church celebrated . when anton was younger he believed his congregation was celebrating him. but there was no cake, only food that received blessings from the bible. none of his friends were there, only people from his flock. he wasn’t at the arcade where he wanted to be, instead surrounded by trees and log cabins. anton received no gift he truly wanted. when he wanted the newest action figure he only got lessons on how to fish and forage for food.

by the time he was fifteen, anton dreaded seeing his birthdate on the calendar. a whole weekend gone every year, lost in the woods on an unnecessary church retreat. over time, anton started filling in the gaps of the story he heard through the grapevine. the story was beautiful and meant alot to the church, but he could tell their were aspects of the sotry that didn’t fit the narrative. his mother would grimace and shake her head anytime anton tried to dig deeper. there was still a red stain in the carpet of the nave, where it seeped through and painted the wood crimson. anton imagined his mother’s frightened face—he’s now the same age she was when she gave birth for her entire world to see.

the more gaps in the story that were filled the more anton felt sympathy for his mother. he was always a dutiful son and loyal member to the church. he never complained about having to go into the woods during his birthday weekend. but when he realized what it took from his mother every year he started making the effort to vocalize how grateful he was. he was the first one to offer up his skills in fishing and led prayer. he listened to the prayers of people who still remembered that anton was a gift from god.

anton was twenty now and this trip was different. he was truly grateful beaming like the same light that shined down on his mother. he was grateful because he got to break bread with you, even if you sat on the opposite end of the table. he stole glances at you over the plates of fish and fruit, and raised the blood of christ in your direction. the fear of being caught again should’ve taught you two a lesson. a random face in the crowd whispered to anton after the night in the parking lot, saying that she knew what had happened.

“cursed for the same fate like your mother.” she sneered.

the blood drained from anton’s face when hearing her words. you were there behind him, backing his voice the same way you did when performing for the church. you came to his defense, puffing your chest and shaking your head.

denial fell from your lips quickly, and anton blindly corroborated. your words were confident but anton could see the tremor in your hands and the way your pupils shook. you were both lucky that the woman was silenced, saying something along the lines that she will be held in the good graces of anton’s parents from now on.

a week had passed and you two haven’t let yourselves be in the same room together since. it was a test for the both of you, about temptation and if the chance of getting caught was worth it. anton learned that he didn’t care, and that you cared even less.

there were short moments in the days leading up to the retreat. anton following you as you passed him in the hallway, slipping notes when you would join hands to sing hymns. anton barely got the chance to touch you anymore and it had an effect on him. anton would usually be able to hold his wants at bay, but lack of contact made him desperate. a simple look from you sat at the forefront of his mind. he spent the rest of the day finding your name in hymns and the separate letters that spelled your name in the bible.

he would never tell you, but at his lowest he went into the confessional booth alone and thought of you. in the darkness of the booth he could see the last night you spent together. in the shadows he was able to project the image of his car windows fogging and the way it rocked back and forth. when anton remembered your clammy hand pressed on his broad chest he couldn’t stop his own hand. he touched himself in the cramped space of the booth. his knees pressed to the wooden walls, with so much force that they creaked. the sound drowned out his grunts and the wet sound of him fucking his hand. he imagine you on your knees in front of him in prayer when he made a mess over his knuckles and slacks. he slumped in the booth, looking through the small holes trying to come to terms with what he had done. anton was able to rationalize his actions—it was easy to ask for forgiveness when he was already here.

“forgive me father for i have sinned.” anton said quietly to himself.

he had gotten too used to saying that phrase. he had to say it nearly every night leading up to the trip. he couldn’t keep his hands off himself when he thought of you. the problem only compounded while being here. he was alone in his cabin, the one single gift he got for his birthday. while he was alone, he got the chance to do anything he wanted. he spent that time thinking of you, and what he would do to you when you got the chance to finally be together again.

anton laid on his duvet in only his boxers. he stared at the fan above him, how it did slow revolutions. anton barely felt air circulating in the room even though the room felt like it was closing in on him. trying to control his breath didn’t work, the harder he tried the more desperate he became. he could almost hear your breathy moans as he pinched the fabric of his boxers in his hand. he unnecessarily teased himself the whole trip. he had worked himself up the whole trip as some sort of punishment. anton only had to touch his thigh lightly to have his dick twitching in his underwear. the tent in his pants obstructed his vision when he looked down, and if he stared at it for too long he would twitch again.

anton had almost given in when he heard a rock tap on his window. he was so inside of his mind that he didn’t hear what was going on around him. he could only hear your voice and see your face. he imagined you crawling up his body, your weight causing craters in the mattress that caused his body to lean. anton could barely move in this position, only breathe heavily as the vision of your face got closer and closer to his. when your lips ghosted over his the sound of a tiny pebble was heard again.

anton shot up in his bed, pulled from his trance. he could feel the precum seeping through the cotton of his underwear and his body already felt weak. he had half a mind when the tiny sound filled his room again. his head found the sound, and he grabbed a folded blanket off his bed to hide his weakness for you as he got off the bed.

timid steps took him to his cabin window, and he could see you on the other side of the glass. the blanket was forgotten on the ground as anton lifted his window. anton didn’t hesitate to take out the screen of the window so he could fully lean part of his body out. he should’ve looked from side to side quickly to check that you weren’t followed, but he only saw you.

“what are you doing here?” anton whispered.

you smiled before walking closer to his window.

“it’s your birthday.” you said simply.

anton nodded, still looking at you. you got on your tiptoes, and anton leaned so far down that your foreheads touched.

“can i come inside?” you asked.

any part of anton that would’ve denied had left him a long time ago. all that was left was you in his mind, and how you looked up at him from your position outside. he nodded and reached his hands out to grab yours. when your hold on his hands was tight enough he used a portion of his strength to help you through the open space in his window.

you didn’t need his help. you cleared most of the way, but you couldn’t stop yourself from stumbling trying to regain your balance. anton held you close, stumbling with you until you both steadied. he had your arms pressed to your chest, constricting you in a way that left you looking up to him helplessly. anton could tell you felt all of him when your eyes widened and your nails dug into your palm. you took a glance down. past the place where your two bodies touched antons hard dick pressed into your torso.

“did you miss me?” you asked.

“breaking bread with you wasn’t enough.” anton said quietly.

“are you giving into temptation?” you ask, tilting your head.

your words are playful as your eyes drift to anton’s lips. he is serious when he speaks, pulling you closer into him.

“can you feel it?” anton whispers.

you nod your head, and quickly peer behind anton to find the bed. the walk back to the bed is slow. neither of you kiss, only breathe in heavily as you find your footing.

by the time you both find it there’s no use. the back of anton’s legs hit the soft edges of his mattress, causing him to fall backwards. you stay upright, and your eyes stay on the tent still in anton’s pants. he lets you feast on him as he backs up further on the bed, until he can lay his full body down comfortably.

anton watches you get undressed at the foot of his bed. you take off each article of clothing slowly, your pants pool at your ankles and you toss your shirt to anton. he grabs it and brings it to his face, breathing in all he can take. you watch mesmerized on the other end, mouth agape when he thrusts upwards into nothing. anton’s cheeks turn rosy but he is not embarrassed. he continues to let his hips jerk and his dick twitch. you both break bread for the second time that night, feeding off eachother’s reactions.

when you can’t take it anymore, you crawl onto the bed. the same way in anton’s visions, a grueling slow pace where your body is almost touching his. anton forces himself to be still. not only does he have to be ready to take whatever you give him, but he is also afraid if he moves too much the cliff he’s balancing on will disappear underneath his feet. so he stays still as your eyes travel from the tent in his pants to the hair on his head.

you were on your knees beside anton’s body, leaned over until your clothed chest touched his. anton felt one of your hands start at his knuckles, freeing his hand from the hold it had on his boxers. you place his palms facing upright. anton slightly shook his head—he was not strong enough to be so vulnerable in his sensitive state underneath you. you nodded your head and pressed your wet lips to his ear.

“i will never leave you nor forsake you.” you whispered.

anton took a deep breath, swallowing his pride and kept his palms facing towards the ceiling.

“you are blessed.” you said underneath your breath.

this is when anton nods in agreement. the way you touch his palm and drag your hand up his arm makes anton think he is favored by something bigger than himself. when your hand glides across his collarbones and up his neck anton’s hand snaps to grab you at your elbow. the sudden movement causes you to pause, and you look down at him. anton’s eyes feel wet as he looks up at you. his dick twitches and he can feel it getting even harder. the tent in his pants moves as his heavy dick slaps against his stomach. the thought of you touching him fills his mind, so much that anton has the urge to flip you over.

“it’s been so long.” anton chokes out.

you nod and grab his hand that rests on the bed. you look down between your two bodies, looking past his dick that weeps for your attention to find his hand. you lift it slowly, until anton’s palm cups your heat. you sigh heavily and he indulges himself for a second, pressing a finger to your panties to feel the wet spot. you close your eyes briefly and press your forehead against anton’s.

“i waited for you for years, so why do i feel like this after a week?” you ask.

anton can’t bring himself to mention sin at a time like this. he had built an understanding that sin was just a reworked virtue. lust was a product of his never ending love and his need to please you. it was a gift to be with you, and lust helped him explore aspects of your union in the private spaces you two created. so anton lets of a breath and guides your hand to his heavy dick. it twitches upwards, looking for your warmth before you can even touch him. when you grab his length with conviction over the fabric of his boxers anton thrusts into your fist. his free hand guides one of your legs over his body. once you straddle him you let your body rest into him fully. you pull your hand away from his dick to replace it with your clothed heat.

“you can feel all of me soon.” you say quickly.

“i can’t wait any longer.” anton whimpers.

anton’s hand was still selfishly placed on your center. he worked his way up, until it was just a singular finger pressing slightly into your clit. all of his restraint went into not rubbing revolutions on the sensitive bundle of nerves. but anton knew you well enough to know that giving you a inch made you take a mile. he knew that you would be trying your best to chance after the dull sensation of a finger pressed to your clit that it would drive you to rut your hips into his.

anton responded just as desperate, chasing the feeling of his stiff dick having nowhere to go. he wanted to feel you wrapped around him while he got lost in the halls of your labyrinth. but anton didn’t want to stop seeing your chest jump in the confines of your bra while you pressed your hips into his with a reckless abandon.

“i’ll make this your best birthday.” you gasp.

your breathing started to become heavy and anton was reduced to actions. he nodded, showing you how grateful he was for you but moved a hand to your ass to press you on his dick. he needed more so much more that he would bare the burden to cum in his pants like he had never been touch before. all he needed you to do was keep swiveling your hips and place wet kisses on his face.

anton was thankful you knew what he needed. the way you always took care of him made a stone form in his throat. when you kissed his jawline anton couldn’t hold back.

“i’m sorry. i can’t wait any longer.” he whimpered.

you only continued moving your hips the same way, feeling your slick and anton’s precum mix on the fabric of your underwear.

“don’t be sorry.” you said clearly.

you kissed his forehead and pulled him up, so you guys were both sitting upwards on the bed. the position change confused anton, but you started leading him. you alternated between bounding and grinding on his dick, and anton’s hands on your side helped you with how much pressure he needed. anton’s held tilted back, and he focused on the fans slow moving blades. your quiet moans were gentle like the air circulating in his room, and the gentle bed creaks put anton in a trance.

your hand on his face brought anton back to reality. he had you on top of him, and your eyebrows were knit the same way they were when you were trying to read latin. your mouth opened and anton took it as an invitation to place his lips on yours.

he could only slip his tongue into your mouth for a second before he felt the coil in the pit of his stomach wind again. he pulled away from you as it twisted all around his body, and he pulled you in when it snapped. anton felt his heavy dick strain against the fabric as he whimpered into the crook of your neck. you moaned while still riding him, and a pulling hand in anton’s hair prolonged the feeling across his body.

“i love you.” anton muttered over and over again.

“i love you too.” you mumbled back.

you followed shortly after him, pulling away so you could rest your hands on anton’s calves. he watched your abs flex as you continued to swivel your hips. all anton had to do was press that same finger to your clit to make you freeze. the wet spot on your panties from anton’s cum became darker as your legs shook around him. your eyes screwed shut and you instinctually turned your head away from anton to bite down on your shoulder. it kept you quiet enough to avoid the walls that had ears.

“my angel.” anton cooed.

you could only whine in response, and shake your head when anton teased you over your underwear. you pushed him back onto the bed, and you let all of your body weight rest on anton’s chest. you could feel his dick soften between your two bodies. when the cold wetness of your underwear made you shift, anton kept you pressed to his chest with a strong arm on your back.

anton laid with you until sunday came. both of you were so tired, so spent from time apart that you laid together in silence. you both watched to fan slowly rotate in the darkness until it was illuminated in the morning light. you left, this time through the front door and after kissing anton for every year he’s blessed the earth.

#requestz #seriez: sacrilegious #seriez: understanding my faith #01zfan: anton #anton smut #riize smut

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tatsumessy · 1 year

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How many kids do you two have? - {JJK}

Satoru Gojo

Two kids. He was trying to run an experiment, he wanted his daughter to look like him then his son to look like you. It worked, your little mini me’s, but they both have Satoru’s extroverted personality which you love because you love your husband. HE’S AN AMAZING ASS FATHER!!! Most people at the school enjoy yours and your kids company more than their fathers which you absolutely enjoy. Gojo does tend to spoil your kids always playing the good cop while you’re the responsible one handing out punishments and always yelling, why? Because they act just like their father. It’s a blessing and a curse at the same damn time. “What do you say about having one more kid?” You gave Gojo a look of disgust and kept doing the laundry. “I wanna bite on a baby’s chubby cheeks again.” “That shouldn’t be a reason for me to put my body through hell again.” He wrapped his arms around your waist and started kissing in the crook of your neck. “That’s not the only reason…your pregnancy glow just get me so turned on, I fall in love with you even more each time.” Turning around you face him you reached up to grab his ear and started walking him towards the living room where your two children were sitting. “Children, your father is saying he wants to replace you with a baby.” Letting his ear go you turned towards him, “now you deal with your moody teenagers and their dislike for having a baby in the house.” “You’re cruel.”

Kento Nanami

One. A daughter, he absolute adores his baby girl. HE GOES COMPLETE DADDY SOFTIE MODE. He treats her like she’s precious cargo and don’t worry he doesn’t forget about you, his queen. As much attention he gives to her you get ten fold because he wouldn’t have been able to praise his daughter if it wasn’t for you. Nanami is the perfect husband, father, friend in that order. And trust me when your daughter got into her teenage years she was a pain in the ass to him until he died and she regretted being an ass to him on most days. Other than that she’s an exact copy of him just with long hair, long eyelashes, and just yeah. His twin. Also when he died, she started taking care of you because she knows hard hard his death hit you emotionally but that didn’t stop you from being a mother.

Suguru Geto

Three kids. All sons. And yes if your child doesn’t have the same abilities as their father then he tends to spend less time with him but at the end of the day he’s still his child. He just doesn’t like the fact that one of his children can’t enjoy the daily joys that happen with him. He wants his children to be involved, you understood. Geto isn’t a bad guy and he’s actually a really great father. Sometimes even gives his children curses as gifts which you’ve told him to stop doing that because it was weird but hey you all are a weird family. And the amount of love Geto has shown you since the kids were born was everything you could’ve asked for. It was rocky at first in your marriage but then after your oldest son was born he respected you more and showed you that you were everything to him. With him you’ve learned that all relationships aren’t perfect, sometimes it just needs time.

Toji Fushiguro

Good luck trying to be in a relationship with him and him not getting atleast one child out of you. You got a daughter whole looks exactly like Megumi, unlike Toji, Megs loved and adored his little sister. Any free moment he had he’d spend with her and you. He enjoyed your company just as much as Toji enjoyed yours, Toji was actually more romantic than you thought especially before having your daughter. With Megumi being able to babysit whenever meant that Toji got to take you out on date night and spend more time with you, even surprise you one night with the help of Megumi and your daughter with a proposal. Once you finally said yes after some MAJOR convincing you two got married with your daughter being the flower girl.

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strongheartneteyam · 1 year

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I wish I could

Chapter 2

Pairing: Neteyam Sully x female!curvy!human reader

Neteyam is aged up.

CW: lots of fluff, childhood friends to lovers, reader loves na'vi children so much and dreams about being a mom one day, angst, the whole Sully family loves reader (including Neteyam but she doesn't know that yet lol)

Author's note: as this is an Avatar AU, reader doesn't need a mask to breathe Pandora's air and not die. Maybe because she was born there, never left and was adopted by a na'vi woman since she was a really small child, she was gradually exposed to Pandora's environment and some kind of mutation happened, so she can breathe, because her body adapted to survive in the planet without the need of a technological device. Idk if it makes sense at all honestly, but, what the hell, fanfics are supposed to be fun and not make 100% of sense, so... just try to not think too much about it n enjoy ahaha

♡

Chapter 1

♡

"Oh my God, such a cute little thing you are" You said while squeezing Tuk in your arms. Even though she was bigger than you because she was a na'vi child after all, you held her like a human toddler. You loved her so much, as if she was your own child. And she loved you too. She was giggling so happily while you squeezed her tight. She was so fond of you that Neytiri would always leave you to take care of her when she left for a hunt. She trusted you, thought you were a really good kid. And you were known in the tribe for helping na'vi mothers with their children. From babies to pre-teens.

You thought Neytiri to be such a beautiful and wise na'vi woman. You desired to be like her one day. You also wanted to have a big beautiful family like hers but that thought would always soon turn from a happy one to one that filled you with angst and sorrow. You were just a human after all, left to the care of a sweet na'vi lady after your parents died in a battle against the Sky People when they came back to Pandora once again. Those horrible days are over now, thank Eywa. Your biology was so different from the na'vi that you didn't even know if it was possible for you to get pregnant from mating with a na'vi male. There are couples of a na'vi and a human out there but none of them ever tried to conceive a hybrid child. The closer someone got to it was the Sully kids who have na'vi and human blood running in their veins but their father had an Avatar body, not a human one, so, it's technically not the same. Why couldn't you just marry a human guy and have a human child?, you may ask. Well, you never knew how to say it without sounding weird but you never felt attracted to the males of your own species. They just looked so plain and boring next to the na'vi men, so passionate, family-oriented and fearless. And also, you couldn't deny that the way they towered over you and their blue skin that shone in the dark because of their freckles played a big part in your feelings too. Yeah, that will never not sound pervy.

You wished you could just mate with the na'vi you fell in love with, but you didn't even know if Neteyam would ever look at you that way. Your small, soft frame might look weird to him. Specially since you were really curvy and a bit fat even for human standards. But still, you dreamt about his big hands touching your skin and his blue beautiful lips kissing yours, so tenderly. Sometimes you woke up and cried, realizing it was indeed just a dream and you were alone laying in your mat.

The na'vi woman you learned to call "mom", Ao'ite, took you as if you had been born from her womb, she always showed you love and took great care of you. And even though she was a great mother to you and you loved her so very much, you never felt like it was enough. It pained you to say it because it sounded ungrateful and even cruel, but you always wondered what it would be like if your parents hadn't die. You didn't remember them, since you were only 2 years old when the murders happened, but you always thought that if they had raised you, maybe you would feel like you belonged somewhere. You loved Pandora and would always call it your one and only home, felt so connected to the trees, animals and oceans, but you would never be a na'vi girl. You could never tame and have your own Ikran or go through any important and beautiful thing only the na'vi can do. That crushed your heart.

You were so lost in your thoughts and immersed on Tuk's little laughs, in a mix of sweetness and sadness, that you didn't even notice how Neytiri's and Jake's older son was looking at you. Neteyam had a spark in his amber eyes when he looked at you holding his little sister. He thought you looked so beautiful and motherly when you played with her. He thought you'd be a great mother one day. He knew how much you wanted to have a family and he only wishes he could be your mate and give you little na'vi children. The smile that was adorning his lips died a bit and he looked away. He didn't know if you found him a suitable mate or if you were just disgusted by how different and odd he looked compared to humans. It hurt him to think maybe you could never reciprocate his feelings. He has loved you since you guys were little kids and he saw your - then weird to him - appearance. He was puzzled in the beginning but with only an hour playing together with you, running through the forest, just close enough so his grandma wouldn't lose sight of the two of you, he found his little heart beating fast inside his chest. And it wasn't just because he had been running, he realized. It was because he knew that you were the one he was gonna chose to be his mate, to spend the rest of his life with, no matter how different from him you looked. What confused him in the beginning was now the most beautiful sight to behold. And it never changed. 15 years later, when you're now both 20 and not 5 anymore, he still looked at you like you were the Pandora skies at night. So beautiful and enchanting to look at. He could look at you for hours, and sometimes he almost did, while you were sitting somewhere in the middle of the people, when they reunited to have meals together at night. You were close enough for him to be able to look at you but far enough for him to not be noticed and perceived as a creep to you.

One day Jake sat next to his elder son and realized who he was looking at. He told his son you were a great girl and he should try courting you if he liked you. Neteyam was shy in the beginning and even denied he was looking at you but his dad knew him far too well so, seconds after that, Neteyam sighed and told his father that he truly loved you and wanted you to be his mate. Jake smiled. That reminded him of what he felt when he was being taught the na'vi ways by Neytiri and fell in love with her. He was immeasurably happy when he realized she loved him too. He just wants his son to be happy and he was glad he had chosen you. Jake always felt something good coming from you. You were like him when he was still stuck in his human body: you loved the na'vi ways more than the human ways and wanted to be one of them. He just wishes it wasn't so dangerous for you to be transfered to an Avatar body. You had once told him you would try, just so you could feel like you were one of the people. But in Jake's heart you were and would always be one of them, even if you were a tiny human girl. And he knew most na'vi felt the same about you. You were really loved by the people.

Neteyam looked at you again, as you were holding his little sister's hands and she was asking you to let her braid your hair. You smiled and said yes and she smiled even wider and started touching your hair. You had beautiful, soft hair and it would always end up a bit entangled when Tuk would braid it. She was a child and was still learning so her braiding skills were still not on point. But you didn't care. You always let her braid your hair and would sit patiently while she did. And you would wear the braids she would make for days, even if they looked a bit funny. It was so special to you how that precious na'vi child showed so much love towards you. Such an innocent little soul. You wished so hard that one day you could have your own na'vi child braiding your hair. Na'vi babies were the cutest thing you had ever seen. Even though you would look enormous carrying a na'vi baby in your belly (if that could ever happen, in your wildest dreams) and you probably would feel so heavy and bloated, you just knew without a shadow of doubt that you would love that child more than you loved your own life and die for the little being if you needed to. To protect them from any harm.

Little did you know you had a na'vi in front you willing to give you as many na'vi babies as you'd let him. Neteyam loved you so much it hurt. And little did he know you loved him too. And little did you both know that having a hybrid child was actually possible.

•.°☆•.°☆•.°

Sooo... it's my first fanfic in English and it's not my first language so please be gentle with me and forgive me for any mistakes. This story is gonna have more parts written soon. I'm thinking of writing some smut within the story and maybe put some breeding kink coming from Neteyam and his human loving it. What do you guys think? Would you want me to? Tell me in the comments haha Please, like and/or reblog this post if you like it. Love you guys 💙

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theold-ultraviolence · 1 year

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So now that we’ve seen modern dad aemond, could we please also see canon dad aemond? 🥰 (also maybe how/if he would react differently to a son vs a daughter, if you think he would) tia!

We most certainly can, friend! thank you for asking! Like I've said, dad!Aemond is something I enjoy reading a lot but never thought to venture into it myself. Here goes!

Dad!Aemond headcanons

Ever the dutiful son, the prospect of extending the bloodline was a certainty in Aemond's mind.

But he rarely thought about it, always considering it a distant event. He never thought of himself as a parent or imagined how he'd be. He didn't have the greatest examples after all. And because he thought he'd be betrothed to someone he didn't love, he was less than enthused about children.

But he married you.

He married you and now his whole world changed.

The first year, he was content with being alone with you. He wanted to bask in your presence, to thoroughly enjoy yourselves before adding another person into the mix.

But as soon as that last year was through, whenever he bedded you, some primal feeling began to seep inside his mind each time he made the conscious decision to cumming inside of you instead of pulling out like he'd been doing before.

It was all fun and games but when the Maesters told you you were with child, it all became so real. And he began to worry.

Could he be a good father? a loving one? or would he damn his child to a fate similar to his own? He bowed to be better than Viserys, but of course, it was all easier said than done. Especially when your pregnancy had been so difficult.

He worried constantly about you; it seemed the pregnancy had brought more anguish to you than joy. You were constantly in pain, and the delivery was complicated. He thought he was going to lose you, so he bowed that you would only have one child. He couldn't put you through this pain again, couldn't risk losing you.

Then finally, she came into the world.

Time stopped, the moment the baby was cleaned up and wrapped in a fine cloth, then placed into his arms. His heart had never beat this quickly, and he'd never known a tenderness like this.

She was the tiniest little being he'd ever seen in his life, the tiniest thing he'd ever had in his arms. What he felt was a rush of anxiety but also an overwhelming amount of love.

Elaena Targaryen was born, to a man that had suddenly become the most loyal, protective, and loving parent in the whole realm.

Because you'd suffered so much pain during childbirth, he had no problem with letting you heal and relax and preoccupy himself with the baby's care. He wanted to do everything himself, not trusting the Maesters or handmaids with anything whatsoever.

Sometimes he's a little too overprotective, and you have to calm him down and talk some sense into him. Assure him that nothing would ever harm Elaena when both of you are around, but that he needs to let her explore and discover the world on her own sometimes, otherwise she'll grow to resent him.

Still, when she's playing in the gardens, he keeps a watchful eye over her.

Elaena takes after her father in many ways. She's well-behaved and mostly calm, but she's adventurous like you. She's also very loving, and loves to be in her parent's embrace at all times.

Though she has most of Aemond's physical features, all her mannerisms and quirks are yours. During the first two years of her life, he was endlessly amazed at learning more and more about her, to see her personality develop and mirror that of her mother. As if Aemond didn't love her enough already.

When Elaena is two years old, something unexpected happens.

You find out you're with child again. An accident this time, but certainly a welcomed one.

This pregnancy leaves you even weaker than the last. You're convinced, at some point during labor, that you're not gonna make it. But by gods, you push through, if only thanks to Aemond's strong will, holding on to your hand the entire time and begging you to stay with him.

Finally, with fierce cries, Aeron Targaryen is born.

And Aemond is just, speechless. He was so used to being the father of a girl, that the prospect of raising a boy suddenly made him mad with glee. He was instantly curious about the personality of his boy, if he was going to be as calm as he himself had been, or if he was going to be mischievous like Aegon, brave like Daeron. Would he connect with son, as easily as he had with his daughter?

He didn't much time to think about it on the spot because suddenly, the Maesters were urging you to push! Again?

And in came his third child, Vaella.

Twins!

As he held both children in each of his arms, he didn't quite know what to do with himself. He thanked the Gods for this wonderful gift and thanked you for blessing him with three loving children. For giving him all the love he always yearned for, and that he thought he'd never get.

He never knew love could just, keep on growing like this. He was afraid of taking something from Elaena and making her feel left out, but it wasn't the case at all.

Elaena, even for her young age, was excited and very caring to her siblings.

Aemond used to think that happiness could only be found on dragonback, or in the solitude of the library.

But now he knows that happiness is a lazy morning in bed, surrounded by his wife and his three children, who want their father to tell them stories while holding them close. In their eyes, Aemond is the greatest man in existence. Period.

Happiness is a sunny day out by the shores that surround the Red Keep, with the sound of his children's laughter mixing in with the splashing of ocean waves.

It's when he watches Elaena on her first ride with Vaghar, and even better when she rides her own dragon.

When Aeron beats him during a sword match when he’s still a preteen, and then, when he beats everyone that defies him in tourneys by the time he’s a young adult.

And when Vaella fills his desk with drawings, as the calmer and quieter of the two children. When her two siblings yearn to go on adventures and see the world, Vaella wants nothing more than to stay home with her father. Taking walks with him through the gardens or roaming around the city, hidden with cloaks.

Aemond thinks he used to know pride, after riding the largest dragon in the world, being well versed in history and philosophy, and being the most agile swordsman in the realm.

But pride is when he stands during a family gathering, with Elaena by his right; a far graceful dragon rider than he. Strong and protective of her parents and younger siblings. Shooting death glares to anyone who dared looked at Aemond wrong.

Aeron to his left; intelligent and brave, more cunning than Aemond ever hoped to be, able to outwit whoever doubted him, and get back at those who spoke ill of his father with polite yet deathly responses. Though he was kind and had a strong bond with his mother. Just like Aemond and Alicent.

And young Vaella, forever holding onto Aemond’s hand, the most attached to her father out of the three. The most creative and calm spirit Aemond had ever known. She brought peace into his household when Elaena or Aeron’s temper got a hold of themselves. She’s Aemond’s eternal companion during the night, both cuddling against one another while reading a book.

#aemond targaryen #aemond targaryen headcanons #i know that tag is for patch but that's where all the dog dad!aemond content goes to sa;kdflkjf #aemond targaryen x you #aemond targaryen x reader #headcanons #aemond targaryen hcs #hotd #house of the dragon #fanfiction #aemond targaryen fanfiction #ewan mitchell #my writing #aemond's children

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