#it felt like the ending was written by a completely different person who 1.) did not like the red prince 2.) did not understand his

[oceanatydes]

i just finished dos2 and it was such an excellent game but what the hell was the red prince's epilogue scene??

he had so much character growth at the end, going so far as to give up what arguably was his birthright to be a god amongst men (aka lizards) and ruling to mc and trusting them as the new divine

then he turns around and says lol be my slave like what the hell?? where was the character progression?? the romantic acknowledgement that he literally tells mc he loves them?? what was that??

[teastyun]

༻ pound town

arcane sevika x female reader (nsfw)

a/n: i'm going to war (exam phase is about to start), therefore i must make haste (my hiatus starts again). also, i got a new job so i'm not sure when my hiatus will end :(

pt. 1 ; masterlist

grabbing the broom from the back of your mechanics shop, you start you usual closing routine as the streets of Zaun more active as the day ends. growing up in Zaun, you appreciate the livelihood of the people, but grew wary of the criminality rising abruptly at the end of each day. enforcers started to patrol the quiet streets of Zaun and hang up missing posters of Jinx, who you've been visited by for several occasions over the last few months for tech equipment she required. you grew fond of the girl and would occasionally even slip a few extra pieces, and she would thank you proudly by telling you about her latest new technological improvements.

one time, she told you about a prosthesis as her newest invention. Sevika immediately came to your mind and the way she held your cheek the last and first time you saw her. or the way her bionic arm held your hips so strongly as you rode her strap. shit, you really are down bad for this woman who doesn't even know your name.

as several months gone by since then, you managed to gather your savings and invest it into your shop for new techs and products to sell. you were finally able to call your shop your full time job and scrap your shifts at the brothel completely. Sevika didn't only save your shop, but she saved you from drowning in exhaustion as the only thing you ever did was work day and night.

you hoped to see her again, but your hope was slowly scarped as each month passed by.

after sweeping the last corner of your shop, you only had to rearrange your products before you could finally leave to go home. as you tidied the screws collection, the door to your shop opened audibly by your crystals dangling from the person entering.

"we're closed-" you start, but stop as you see the person at the entrance.

there she was, standing in her usual cloak and a hood that hid her face, but you recognised her nonetheless. she took her hood off with a smile as she looked at you. "good to see you again."

suddenly, you felt naked again. although she knew your identity (prolly even the whole time), the mask would hide your facial expressions and reactions. now, you are standing there with a shocked impression written on your face, unsure of how to react to the person that is the reason for your shop to still be alive.

"i see you created something out of this shop since the last time I've seen you," she speaks with a soft smile on her lips as she takes a look around in your shop. "thank you. you were actually a huge help last time we've seen each other," you respond, your hands linked together behind your back as you turn to look around your shop.

honestly, your shop is quite shady from outside with its half-broken broken neon sign spelling the name mechs n' treasures. but once you enter, you quickly realise that it's a one man's business by it's intricate appearance. it has so much personality now that you have as much time as you'd like to spent in it, decorating it with your favourite things you've collected over the years that weren't too precious to be displayed in your small flat above your shop. a few colourful crystals dangle around your entrance and the door to your flat, reflecting the neon lights from the streets of Zaun onto the mechanic pieces you sell. tidiness is your top priority, since it's hard to keep such an old shop neat and clean. you love your old and shady, but precious personal shop and wouldn't wish it to be any different. business seemed to be booming recently, too. you had no idea why, but Zaun is a quick and fast learning city with its advantages and disadvantages, resulting in people visiting your shop to buy the pieces they require for their newest project.

now, Sevika is standing in the centre of your shop, taking one of the mechanical pieces into her hands and looking at it in detail.

"can i help you with something?" you ask, looking at her with curiosity. after she puts the mechanic piece back into its tray, she says "I was hoping you could me out with this."

she reveals her bionic arm, where you see the its shimmer capsules completely shattered. surprised, you walk towards her and take her bionic arm into her hand to have a closer look. you inhale her smoky scent and suddenly were confronted with a vivid memory of the first night you guys met at the brothel, as you sat in her lap writhing under her touch. focus. you twisted a few pieces to inspect the reachability of the broken capsules. "I assume you won't be able to take it off?" you ask her, your eyes still fixed on an odd piece you've found.

she shakes her head, "it would be a hazard trying to put it on afterwards. do you think you'll still manage to repair, though?"

after twisting the last few pieces for inspection, you leave her arm. "shouldn't be no issue," you take a look at your wristwatch and notice how late it already is. a few extra minutes won't hurt, you decide.

you nod towards the counter, "take a seat, i'll be right with you."

entering the back of your shop and take a big breath. fuck, this intimidating woman still effects you after several months. at this point, you were sure you even forgot about her.

you grab your toolbox and head to Sevika, who is waiting for you behind your counter on a chair. her cloak is thrown over your register's desk, revealing a similar outfit you saw at the brothel. only now you realise how muscular this woman actually is. her arm is almost fully exposed by her sleeveless top and a choker around her neck makes you shake off your dirty thoughts.

you place the toolbox on the counter before you take a seat next to it. Sevika watches every move of yours, making you even more nervous than you already are.

grabbing your first tool, you lay her arm in you lap and start unscrewing the plates that cover the isolation of the shimmer capsules. her arm felt heavy, but oddly warm in your lap for the fact that it's broken. you remember how the same arm pinned you down on her strap a few months ago.

your brain is almost about to malfunction if Sevika wouldn't have interrupted your thoughts, "so, how is your shop going?" she asks as she leans the side of her upper body on the counter. when you look down at her, she's only mere centimetres away from your face. her grey eyes digging into yours. your pussy clenches as your breathing stops at the sight of her. you quickly look away and focus on her arm again. "it's going well," you start and grab for another tool to remove the shattered pipes. "sometimes it's exhausting to handle a shop alone, but you get used to it, you know."

her eyes follow your movements on her arm while she hums as an indication for you to continue. "once, a dude i recognised from the brothel came to pick up a few things and i couldn't help but wonder what his day job is. he was a sex worker as well, so he probably even recognised me," you tell her. it's unusual for you to share thoughts and memories of your old job. you weren't ashamed of it, but you much happier spending your time in your own shop and not thinking back to your old routine.

she shifts in her seat to look up at you, "i'm glad you were able to escape that shit hole, beautiful," she says quietly, careful of the words she chooses, "do you still remember that night?"

your movements halt immediately at her questions and you felt her eyes laying heavily on you, watching every single movement. the way you took a deep breath, trying not to appear nervous around her. the mere thought of that night made you feel butterflies in your stomach and wetness in your core.

"i do," you confess. without meeting her eyes, you continue your maintenance on her bionic arm in your lap, trying to suppress the urge of jumping into her lap and kissing her senseless. "do you?" you ask in almost a whisper, unsure if you even wanted to know the answer.

when she didn't, your eyes travelled to hers in question. she seemed to be in deep thoughts as well before she asked "how couldn't i?"

her eyes finally meet yours and you recognise such sincerity and trust in them, you couldn't help the soft smile that sneaks onto your lips.

"you were the only thing on my mind in this cruel world," she continues, making you feel several things at once. "and i don't even know your name."

you chuckled and referred your eyes back to your almost finished work, concentrating on exchanging the pipes.

"so, you're not even going to tell me?" she asks amused.

"what, my name?" you act oblivious, knowing exactly what she wanted. now it was her turn to chuckle at your teasing. "you can be a pain in the ass, you know that?"

you shake your head in disbelief with a smile on your lips as you screw on the last iron plate on her arm.

"move it," you command and she obliges. she moves her joints, making the shimmer that was left in her tank fuel her new pipe, while moving it a few more times in several directions. you've never seen machinery working with shimmer so closely. you wonder how the metal felt like against your skin.

ripping you out of your trance, she stands up. right in front you, almost between your legs, which you desperately wanted to close at the sight as you felt your pussy clench.

"thank you," she looks at you, her eyes wandering from your neck down to the rest of your body. it's like she can't help herself, checking you out as you sit on her cloak next to your work instruments.

"you even look beautiful in your casual attire," she whispers as her eyes meet yours again.

"so," you wrap your index finger through her choker, "how about taking it off and see what's hidden underneath?" you cock your head before you pull her closer. your legs are opened by her thighs between them as she looks down at you, clearly surprised by your boldness. "i don't fuck nameless girls," she says in an equal tone to her low chuckle.

you take a quick look at her lips, wondering what they would feel like on yours. "didn't seem so last time we've seen each other."

your finger is still wrapped around her chocker as you grin. she didn't answer. she knows you're messing with her.

she places her arms on each of your sides, the sounds of her bionic arm moving leaving a shudder throughout your body. she's dangerously close.

"if i remember correctly, last time you've fucked yourself, princess."

shocked by her comment, your grin fades as you suddenly remember how you rode her in that brothel, eagerly chasing your orgasm as she guided you through it.

you let go of her choker and rest your hand at the back of her neck instead, caressing the soft strands of brunette hair as you try to maintain yourself.

"y/n," you whisper. Sevika's eyes widen at first, but a slight grin sets on her lips at the sound of your name.

"beautiful name, princess," she whispers back and you feel her breath on your lips with each sound she speaks.

you close your eyes as you feel her full lips grazing yours. "y/n," she whispers repeatedly. her lips finally touch yours, first cautiously but confident after a few seconds of lingering. you copy her motions and gasp when her tongue grazes your lower lip.

pressing her more firmly against yourself, you part your lips for her tongue to enter. she faintly tastes like cigarettes, but more of a harsh liquor you can't really pinpoint. your arms cling desperately around her neck, feeling her torso pressed around yours in your heated kiss. you lock her against your core with your legs around her hips, moaning as she leaves your lips to leave kisses on your neck. "you have no idea how often i thought of kissing you," she whispers before she trails down kisses to your exposed shoulder and collarbone, licking the line of it and pressing soft bites against your sweet spots.

instead of responding, you pull her up again and lock your lips together. you press your lower body against her in search of the friction you desperately seek, but with no success. her lips form into a smirk against your lips as she realises what you're seeking.

frustrated, you separate yourself from her and motion for her to step aside, so you could jump of the counter. "i have a bed upstairs," you tell her. Sevika stands there confused, but god does she look hot. her lips are glazed from your spit and her hair looks slightly tousled from your hand that clung to it.

she doesn't let you move, though. instead, her hands are pressed firmly on your side as she still stand between your legs. "i thought that might be more comfortable..." you say, unsure of the current situation. she shifts in her stance to let you stand up.

"fuck, yes. i mean, yes, let's go upstairs," she chuckles after stumbling over her own words and her bionic arm moves to gesture you to lead the way. you laugh at her sudden awkwardness but go ahead to lock up your shop.

walking up the stairs, you fumble for your home's keys. Sevika followed you closely behind, touching your waist and kissing your neck as you try to unlock the door, a sigh escapes your lips as you try to unlock your door.

as the door closes behind you, she pins you against it. her hand holds your wrist against the door as she kisses you feverishly. her bionic arm slips beneath your ass to lift you up, so you could wrap your legs around her hips. you press your breasts against her, trying to seek for any further touches. "the bed, Sev," you say between kisses, too occupied to actually resist her touch.

she ignores your words and losses her grip on your wrists instead to wander to the buttons of your shirt, never breaking the kiss. "patience, beautiful," she whispers as her lips leave yours to press a kiss on your cheek. "we have all night, right?"

your arms find their way back around her neck, playing with her loose hair. "please," you respond, your eyes making contact with hers. you peck her lips before you say, "i want to touch you, too."

her head falls onto your shoulder as she groans, "you make me loose my composure so easily," before looking back into your eyes with need and desperation "do you realise that?"

you grin at her confession and kiss her hot and wet, moaning into the kiss as she continues to unbutton your shirt until your bra is exposed to her hand. she grazes the outlines with her fingertips, making a shudder run through your body as you gasp. you press your chest into her touch and she gladly responds with cupping your breast while biting your lower lip.

her index finger grazes your puffy nipple through your bra and you can't help the moan that escapes your lips.

she pecks you one last time with a smile, before looking around your small flat, seemingly inspecting your small setup where your bedroom and living room are combined to your cozy grove.

her hand moves to your back, stabilising you in her arms before she finally heads to your bed to lay you down on it, watching you as you lay there with your undone shirt and the few strands that escaped your hairstyle completely wordless.

similar to her, you exhale at the sight in front of you. Sevika is still fully clothed, so you pull her down by her collar to kiss her hard, wrapping your legs around her waist to pull her body on top of you. "take this off," she whispers against your lips, her bionic hand gripping your shirt as her hand sneaks behind your neck to tilt your head for her to suck.

she kisses and bites your sweet spot, disrupting your motion of pulling your shirt off and making your eyes roll back in pleasure. you moan her name in frustration before she finally let's go.

"this too," she tells you as she eyes every little detail on your torso. when you take your bra off, her bionic hand cups your breast. the sharp and cold details of her metallic hand exposed on one of your most sensitive parts of your body leave you breathing hard, moaning as her pointy fingers pinch and twist your nipple. "you have no idea how often i thought of touching them since that night," her eyes are not leaving your chest as she confesses.

"you could've touched them that night," you respond, your hand finding the back of her head as you play with her small ponytail. after hearing your words she looks at you, almost with a shocked expression on her face. "there's no way i would have touched you without your consent," she tells you. surprised by this sudden turn, you move up to rest your weight on your elbows, looking at her in disbelief. "but you payed for that night with me," you state, still confused by what she just said.

she's just as surprised as you, cupping your cheek softly as she spoke, "y/n, i would never do anything to you without your consent. do you know that?" she asks you, her eyes never leaving yours as she spoke. you've never experienced any sex partner expressing their respect to you verbally. and fuck, this is probably the moment you realise you have feelings for this woman in front of you. you nod in response, still overwhelmed from your thoughts and feelings. she smiles at you as she says, "good girl."

your soaking pussy almost purred at that nickname. kissing her quick but softly, you grind your clothed hips against hers as you kiss a trail down her neck to her exposed collarbone.

she exhales heavily at your motions before saying, "tell me what you want, beautiful."

"i want you to fuck me," you respond after hesitating, still nibbling at her collarbone as a soft moan escapes her.

"with this," you continue as you grind stronger onto her clothed cunt than before.

her bionic arm holds herself on the bed as her fingers trace your curves. "with my fingers?" she teases as she opens your trousers with her other hand slowly.

your lips move up to her ear, licking and biting her soft skin. "no," you whisper, "with this."

you press the seam of her jeans with your fingers against her clit, making her grip your hips hard from your sudden touch. "fuck," she mutters in response, clearly trying to compose herself before she continues to fully undress you.

"under one condition," she starts as she takes in your naked body with hungry eyes, "i'll have a taste before i fuck you," she unbuttons her shirt, revealing a dark bandeau bra beneath. she's in a hurry, so she won't bother to take off her unbuttoned shirt, but moves on by removing her jeans as well as underwear in one go.

you try to take a peek at her body, but she immediately kneels between your legs to kiss the soft skin of your thighs, dragging her motions slowly to your soaking pussy as her hands hold you firm beneath her touch. feeling her breath on your clit, you whine from sensitivity, gripping the sheets beneath you as she finally tastes you for the first time.

both of you moan from the touch, your hips stutter beneath her strong hands. she eats you out like a starving woman, humming at the sounds you're making. your clit is circled by her tongue as she softly bites and sucks before your legs start shaking from the pleasure that builds up in your lower belly.

she moves her arm from your thigh to press softly against it, realising how close you are. "come on my tongue," she tells you, intensifying her motions as you come hard. the way you moan her name sounds similar to a scream, your thighs pressing against her head as you throw your head back in pleasure.

she gently guides you through it by licking in decreasing motions, careful of your sensitivity. as your calming down, she kisses your clit one last time before she straightens herself to watch you after your first high.

her lips and chin are glistening from her pussy and strands that were originally framing her face now hang loosely. "you did so well, beautiful," she whispers, climbing on top of you to press kisses into your face. "fuck, you really sent me to another dimension," you confess, laughing a litte at the absurdity. she chuckles at your words, grinning as she examines your face.

"are you still down for another round?" she asks carefully, giving you the space you might need, but you nod as you smile at her. she kisses you before she straightens again to manhandle your legs, placing one on her shoulder as she moves her own over your other to align with your pussy, not starting just yet. she caresses the long on her shoulder as she presses kisses along with it.

she looks absolutely breathtaking while doing it. you feel her pussy kissing yours, and fuck, she's driving you crazy. the unbuttoned shirt exposes the abs you eyed earlier through the tightness of her shirt. her v-line is deeply defined, even more when she starts to slowly grind against you. her pointy bionic fingers suddenly press into your thigh as she gasps from the pleasure she suddenly receives. her grey eyes watch you heavily, making sure you're alright with her pace as she slowly picks it up.

"you feel so good," you whimper as you meet her motions by copying hers, crying from the sensitivity from your earlier orgasm. "fuck- i'm close again."

she grins at your confession, pushing herself harder on your clit as you cry out from the friction. she's mostly quiet, but a gasp escapes her lips anytime you improve your speed.

"come with me, y/n" she leans down, kissing you with so much passion as her eyebrows furrow in pleasure. you moan into the kiss, your breasts moving with each thrust as your nipples graze against the cotton of her bandeau. you felt your orgasm creeping, but you weren't ready for the intensity it comes with. you cry out against her lips, holding her against you as you feel her groaning from her own orgasm. both your hips stutter in your motions before you stop to look at her.

her head rests in the nape of your neck and the only thing you feel is her hot breath against your skin. as you untangle your legs, you kiss on the side of her head. "are you alright?" you ask after several seconds of silence.

she vaguely nods, still maintaining her breath before she answers "you have no idea what you're doing to me."

you smile as you caress her hair through your fingers. "i'd love to figure it out in the future," you continue, making space between your faces so you could look at her as you speak. "this idea you've just mentioned," you clarify as she looks at you speechless.

she kisses you passionately after a few seconds, smiling as she realises what you were suggesting.

"let me take you to dinner after your shift tomorrow?" she asks as her thumb trails your cheekbone. you nod, kissing her on the cheeks before you answer "gladly."

you both fall asleep, and sooner or later date nights with Sevika become your favourite traditions as you two engage in a passionate, but intimate relationship with each other.

tags: @sevsbaby @womenathleteshaveme @macaroni676

masterlist

[lemotmo]

one thing i'm a bit worried about as we got into season 8 is that there are a lot of fans talking about buddie like it's an inevitability and saying things like "buddie canon confirmed" because of the bts stuff we've seen.

it feels like people are setting themselves up for being disappointed and mad if buddie doesn't end up going canon (and honestly, it's kind of their fault for reading so much into fun little posts from the cast when the only way they'd ever confirm buddie is in an episode).

i really want buddie to be canon, but I'm keeping my expectations low because I don't want to be disappointed and it feels like people should be prepared for that potential outcome.

All right Nonny, here's the thing...

I get it. I completely understand what you are saying. I have been in the 911 fandom since season 1 (not so much on Tumblr) and when season 2 happened I hopped onto the Buddie train (on Tumblr).

I have been there, season after season after season. I saw people building up a lot of hope only for that hope to end up in disappointment. And I felt some of that disappointment as well. Although I have to admit I was always on the sidelines. I never really thought it would ever go canon. I hoped for it, but I had very low expectations.

After all, both men were canonically straight. Even though we could all see the queer-coding, fundamentally nothing ever changed. Buddie got closer than ever, but they still had girlfriends and relationships.

So yeah, I didn't have high expectations and I was happy just chilling in my little Buddie corner, speculating and reading/writing fan fic. Just genuinly having a good time.

But then season 7 happened. The show got cancelled by FOX at the end of season 6 and ABC picked it up. The first thing ABC did was put Ryan and Oliver front and center, having them freely talk about Buddie. I couldn't believe my eyes when these interviews happened. Articles were written, not just by smaller click bait sites, but actual reputable magazine sites. I watched all of this with wide eyes, not sure what to think of it. 'Would they? Could they?'

Then another bomb went off when 7x04 happened and Buck came out as bisexual. I was floored. For the first time in 6 seasons, I started entertaining the idea that the show might just go there. If they made Buck bisexual, surely they wouldn't ignore the highly popular Buddie aspect of it? Would they?

Let's not get into the whole Tommy debacle that happened afterwards. Because in the end it's not important for this answer. Tommy has been set up as a narrative device to help Buck out of the closet. He isn't even a factor in the overspanning Buddie arc we've seen progressing over 6 seasons.

I also want to add that it's crazy that we know for sure that it was actually supposed to be Eddie who would come out of the closet (first).

The end of season 7 gave us an Eddie who told Kim that he is broken and he can't be fixed. Chris left and now he's all alone. No more Chris, Marisol or any other distractions. He is on his own now. Lots of time to reflect upon his life and relationships. His arc will be built around his emotional journey and his personal growth. And we all know who will be by his side for all of it. It's a given at this point.

Then we have Ryan doing these interviews, saying things like:

“The character has been established now, we kind of know what to expect with the vibe. Now it’s just kind of falling back in old rhythm. The only thing different now is where the character’s head is at and where he is going.”

Next to that we have new looks for both Ryan and Oliver. A new beginning perhaps? That moustache has some clear queer symbolism attached to it as well. Something we cannot ignore, because the show knows that its fans aren't stupid and they also know that they have a solid queer fanbase.

And yes, Ryan and Oliver seem happy and relaxed on set these days, while especially Oliver didn't seem all that happy at the end of season 7. In fact, Oliver has completely ignored the Tommy aspect of his new 'canon' relationship. He speaks more about Buck's bi journey and ignores the Tommy factor as much as possible.

So Nonny, if you read all of the above information (and I'm sure I forgot a bunch of stuff) how can you not become more hopeful and a lot more positive that there is a high chance of Buddie happening in season 8?

I'm all for protecting yourself from possible disappointment, but when you are constantly wrapping yourself into a protective cocoon so you don't get hurt in the process, you might just miss the best (and most fun) part of being a shipper: the experience of your slow-burn ship finally becoming canon.

I admit it! I too strongly believe Buddie might just happen in season 8. I'm almost completely sure.

And yes, if Buddie doesn't happen, there will be disappointment and there will be people who choose to express that disappointment through anger. But honestly?

They would kinda have a point.

Because no, it wouldn't be the fans' own fault for getting their hopes up if Buddie doesn't happen. During previous seasons I would have said 'yes', but not now. Not anymore. Now I would definitely say that they are right. It's the show itself that has gotten our hopes up by the consistent Buddie promo, the many Buddie scenes, the whole Eddie being in every part of the BT arc thing, the bts and all the other things they've thrown at us. They know exactly what they are doing. They are hyping Buddie up to the max.

I don't actually believe there will be disappointment though. This is truly the first season where I have been pretty confident that Buddie is in the works. I've never had that feeling before and I've been here forever.

Now that being said, complete certainty doesn't exist for a shipper. if, for some reason, Buddie doesn't happen? There will be disappointment (for me as well) and anger (for me not so much), but in the end that emotion will fade and Buddie will become just another great fandom experience with a bad ending. We've all been there before. It happens.

That is just the nature of being in fandom: 'You win some, you lose some.'

However... this time? With Buddie?

I really think we're about to win big. Sorry Nonny!

¯\_ (ツ)_/¯

[reyla-the-black-wolf]

My Heart speaks for you (Part 3)

✴︎✦・✴︎✦・✴︎✦・✴︎✦・✴︎✦・✴︎✦・✴︎✦・✴︎✦

✴︎✦・✴︎✦・✴︎✦・✴︎✦・✴︎✦・✴︎✦・✴︎✦・✴︎✦

Pairing: Eris x f!reader

Word Count: 4k

Warnings: fluff, a bit of flirting?, slight hints of anxiety, nightmare but with happy ending

Summary: Y/n is the youngest child of the High Lord of the Night Court and lives a slightly different life than the rest of her family. But what happens, when an unexpected visitor enters the stage and decides to completely change her life?

Music:

Let it all out on me - Houses on the Hill

Codex - Joel Sunny

Snowfall - Øneheart (8D Audio)

Part 1 ⎮Part 2⎮Part 3⎮Part 4⎮

✴︎✦・✴︎✦・✴︎✦・✴︎✦・✴︎✦・✴︎✦・✴︎✦・✴︎✦

Golden rays of sunshine fell on my face, leaves casting shadows onto my features. The forest around me smelled of wet moss and fresh rain, and the bittersweet scent of resin and delicate heather wafted through the air from afar, while the birds above sang their melodies merrily. 

I stood beside a birch tree, just as Eris had described, enjoying the last beams of sunlight and waited for him. The forest around me was painted in every autumnal shade imaginable, making it seem like a whole different world, the leaves competing to see who had the richest colours. It was breathtaking.

I had seen autumn in the Night Court, but it would never compare to the view surrounding me.

I spun around, my feet dancing across the spongy moss. Captivated by the glory of it all, I didn´t notice the light footsteps coming from behind. Someone chuckled, making me turn around to see the Autumn Court heir leaning against the bark of a tree. An amused smile played across his lips as he watched me. Of course, he looked as stunning as ever in his crimson tunic and fiery hair. 

A blush spread across my cheeks and my body tensed under his gaze. Suddenly the air felt too hot. Too dry. A certain heat radiating off him. Just breathe. No need to be nervous.

„Welcome to the Autumn Court, y/n! I´m delighted you accepted my invitation.“ He spoke as he walked towards me, extending his hand. Uncertain, I placed my hand in his. Gods, it was so small compared to his. His lips brushed my knuckles as he kissed them in a deep bow, the pink blush on my cheeks increasing. 

He straightened and looked at me, another smile creeping over his lips as he noticed my cheeks. 

Completely oblivious of how to react to his actions, I just stared at him like some love-drunk maiden. 

„Come on then, I´ll show you my home.“ He waved and began to move deeper into the forest. I snapped out of my daze and quickly followed, my hands in my pockets.

✴︎✦・✴︎✦・✴︎✦・✴︎✦・✴︎✦・✴︎✦・✴︎✦・✴︎✦

We strolled through the woods for about five minutes when I remembered what was hidden in one of my pockets. Pulling it out, I showed Eris a small notebook, encouraging him to open it when he gave me a puzzled look. His fingers grazed mine as he grasped the book, sending a shiver over my skin. 

„So we can talk, even without words.“ and „Why did you invite me here? I thought you wanted nothing to do with me after what happened at the council meeting?“ - was written on the first page. He looked at me for a few seconds, hurt and confusion flashing in his eyes, before he answered. „I invited you because I want to get to know you better, otherwise I wouldn´t have written you this letter.“ Shame crawled into my gut. Of course. „And not only because you´re my mate, but back on Starfall you were the first person in a long time to listen to me without judgement.“ His answer surprised me, as I hadn´t expected him to be so honest and a tickling sensation settled in my stomach when he called me his mate. „So let me ask you, what is your life like? What should I know about you?“ he asked, stopping and staring directly at me with a challenging glint in his amber eyes, lowering his body to tower over me. His hands were crossed politely behind his back.

I pulled a pen from my pocket and quickly jotted down my answer. „You can ask me anything you like. I´ve got nothing to hide, fox.“ 

Eris laughed at the nickname and it was one of the most beautiful sounds I´ve ever heard. It was a deep and full laugh, smooth as silk and honey and with a touch of incredulity and irony, it melted right into my soul. „Careful, little dove. Foxes have sharp teeth and you certainly don´t want to meet mine.“ His intense gaze should´ve made me nervous, but instead it only spurred me on. In his presence, I didn´t have to play the shy girl or the cursed princess. I felt I could be myself. 

„Do you think you can intimidate me that easily, Eris Vanserra? So go ahead, ask me your questions.“ When I showed him what I had written down, he looked back at me with surprise in his features and something else I couldn´t quite put my finger to, so I put on my most defiant expression, raised one eyebrow and dared not look away. 

But a cheeky grin crept up my lips, causing me to break the stare and hide my smile, but Eris grabbed my shoulder and pulled me towards him, his chest almost touching mine. He was so tall, I had to lean back to look up at him. 

„Do that again.“ His breath swept over my face as I blinked at him, dumbfounded. „Smile again.“ So I did and gave him a coy smile. „You have a lovely smile, little dove.“ His other hand came up to caress my cheek, making me blush again. It felt rough and soft at the same time, and a lump formed in the back of my throat as I felt a heat building in my stomach. The tips of my pointed ears flushed. Something about that nickname made me feel... safe. The Eris everyone had told me about wasn´t the one standing in front of me, that´s for sure. 

I tried my best not to close my eyes and lean into his touch, not wanting this moment to end. 

When the silence turned to embarrassment, he cleared his throat and let go of my shoulder. „I can ask you anything I want?“ he asked, earning a look of annoyance from me in return, and chuckled. „Okay, fine. I´ll leave a couple questions behind. But hurry now, I want to show you something.“ He urged me forward, putting his hands behind my back. „Come on now. Otherwise we´ll miss it.“ I couldn´t hide another grin at his behaviour.  

We continued wandering through the woods, and he asked me any question that came to his mind. What do I like eating most? What do I do in my spare time, and what are my favourite flowers? What sights should he visit in Velaris? He was genuinely interested in me and my life, and I happily wrote down my answers to every single question. I `told´ him about my life in Velaris and what it was like to grow up in the Night Court.

At some point during our `conversation´, his questions became even more philosophical. Why are we born into this world? What do I think our purpose is, and do we even have one? I could feel myself relaxing more and more with each question he asked. With every twist and turn around the trees. With every minute the sun set deeper, until the last sunrays fell weakly through the treetops. 

Whether it was the fact that I was his mate that drew me to him, I didn´t care. I was beginning to like him. For himself. The self he probably didn´t show very often, if ever, in front of others. I liked him not because of this bond between us, but because he treated me kindly. Because he made me feel like I could be myself around him, and that meant a lot to me. Even though he would never know that.

✴︎✦・✴︎✦・✴︎✦・✴︎✦・✴︎✦・✴︎✦・✴︎✦・✴︎✦

It must have been an hour later when Eris ignited a flame in the palm of his hand to provide us with some light. It had gone pitch black now that the sun had finally bid us farewell, only for her sister to shine as brightly as ever on the sky canopy.

My fingertips tingled and a blissful warmth built up in my chest as the heat of the flame gently stroked my skin. 

„Don´t worry, we´ll be right there.“ He said, noticing my worried look. I scribbled something on a page and showed it to him. 

„Yes, there are. But don´t be afraid little dove, the terrors of the night won´t find or harm us.“ I nodded slowly and closed the journal, putting it back in my pocket.

Two minutes later, Eris suddenly came to a halt and I bumped into his side. We were standing at the edge of a forest glade. The lush grass swayed gently in the night breeze, and the faint chirping of crickets filled the air. 

„This is what I wanted to show you, y/n.“ I looked up at him, utterly confused. Even more so when he just smiled at me, the flame in his hand died and Eris started to run out into the field. 

I didn´t understand what was going on at first, but what happened then absolutely stole my breath. 

Everywhere, fireflies ascended from the grasses into the night sky like lost stars. They danced and swirled around each other, bathing the clearing in a soft green, yellowish light. The crickets acted as a perfect orchestra, playing a sensual waltz as the fireflies soared higher and higher with each note. My mouth fell open and tears formed in my eyes. It was breathtaking. Amazing. Glorious. Without realising it, laughter broke out. But not Eris´s. No, it was mine. I was laughing! Totally mesmerised by the phenomenon before my eyes. A natural spectacle of the greatest beauty. A circus of floating lights. The magnificence of it all poured into my soul, warming me from the inside out as I shivered in anticipation. 

Eris turned when he heard my laughter, not even surprised that I actually made a sound, and waved me over. „Come here!“ He called, laughing as well. I walked slowly towards him, trying not to scare the fireflies away. The grass brushed my trousers and caressed my hands as I glided through it. Every now and then a single firefly landed on my shoulder to rest.

When I stopped in front of Eris, he looked down at me with a mischievous grin on his delicate lips. We stood so close I could hear his heartbeat and feel his hot breath tickling the tip of my nose. As we stared at each other in rapt, tears began to trickle down my cheeks as I was overwhelmed by... well, by everything. His hands cupped my face, brushing away the tears in comforting circles. „I assume you like it?“ He chuckled and I nodded, looking down. More tears streamed down my cheeks as another laugh escaped my throat. If I had to describe this moment, I´d say nothing but pure joy enveloped my body. „You should laugh more often, little dove. It suits you.“ His soothing voice sank into my being as I peered up at him with big doe eyes. I realised how wild and carefree I felt in his embrace. And how trapped I felt in my own home, with my own family.

The fireflies were reflected in his own eyes. They blended with the honey in them, making them sparkle even more. He looked truly magnificent. I turned around once, gesturing wildly with my hands at the clearing around us, and when I met his gaze again, my lips parted to speak, but I faltered. Instead, I mouthed „Thank you“ and gave him a graceful smile. „I appreciate it, but there is no need to thank me.“ He gestured to the ground and a plaid blanket appeared out of nowhere. 

We lay down side by side, gazing up at the fireflies floating above our heads and the dazzling stars on the firmament. I stretched my hand and accidentally touched his. My breath caught for a second, but Eris didn´t pull away, he even brushed his fingers over mine. The gentle movement made me close my eyes and exhaled deeply.

So there we lay. Enjoying this peaceful moment of life together. Right now I didn´t care what my family or anyone else thought about him. I just longed to stay like this forever and never leave this place, even though I knew I had to. But that didn´t matter now. 

„I found this clearing when I was a child.“ I opened my eyes and shifted to look at him. „Always ran away from my mother to explore the woods, you know? My brothers tried to follow me, but they could never catch up.“ He huffed. „What can I say? I´ve got some speed.“ I couldn´t help giggling at his own comment. „It´s become a safe haven for me. And it can be a safe haven for you too.“ Interest glinted in my eyes. „I use my magic to keep this clearing out of sight of any unwelcome visitors. In other words, my family will never find you here, so you can come and go as you please.“ I gave him a coy smile. „Only if you want to, of course.“ He added quickly. To show him I understood and honoured the fact, that out of all people he showed me his safe place, I squeezed his hand lightly in mine and the tips of his ears turned a shade darker. Was the Eris Vanserra blushing? Because of me? I tried to hold back a laugh, not wanting to embarrass him. As I rolled back onto my back, I tried to pull my hand away, but Eris wrapped his fingers between mine and gripped them tightly. It caught me by surprise, but didn´t bother me at all. 

So we returned to staring at the night sky, lying in the grass and listening to the crickets for I don´t know how long. 

✴︎✦・✴︎✦・✴︎✦・✴︎✦・✴︎✦・✴︎✦・✴︎✦・✴︎✦

Cauldron, it´s late! I have to go. I shivered and rose abruptly from the ground, causing Eris to follow my movement. „Wait, y/n! I know you have to leave, but I´ve got one more little surprise for you.“ he said, still holding onto my wrist. He reached into an inside pocket of his tunic and pulled out a long, golden shimmering amulet, adorned with fine, ruby-coloured jewels that glistened under the moonlight. „If you´re ever in trouble, tap the gem in the middle and I´ll know and find you.“ I gratefully accepted the necklace and tucked it safely into my jacket. 

„Take care, little dove.“ He said farewell. „Goodbye.“ I mouthed, winnowing home. 

Little did I know what was waiting for me in my bedroom. 

I flinched, when I spotted my father´s stern face, his arms crossed. „I hope you have a good explanation for why you´re out of bed, young lady!“ His enraged tone made my hair stand on end.

That meant trouble ahead. 

✴︎✦・✴︎✦・✴︎✦・✴︎✦・✴︎✦・✴︎✦・✴︎✦・✴︎✦

„It´s the middle of the night! Where have you been?“ „We were worried about you. You can´t just disappear, darling.“ „Are you all right? Are you hurt?“ 

My parents bombarded me with questions and I couldn´t answer any of them. Of course, I didn´t want to tell them that I had gone to Autumn Court to see Eris, because they would probably become even more worried and I didn´t want to risk that. 

But apparently I didn´t have to say anything. 

My father sniffed the air and before I could cover my scent, he growled. „You were with him.“ His voice was deep and menacing. „I thought we agreed you weren´t to see that... that jerk. He´s dangerous, darling.“ The expression on my father´s face perfectly displayed his anger and disappointment. Something inside me stirred at his insult and I wanted to protect Eris, so unconsciously my hands clenched into fists. „Why did you meet him?“ My mother tried to ease the tension by speaking in a calmer manner than her husband, but I just stood there, frozen, not looking at her. 

Sharp talons scraped carefully along my mind, demanding to be let in, but the hurricane that protected my thoughts only tightened, sending my father´s claws away and causing him to flinch at the unexpected defence. I knew he wanted to know what had happened between Eris and me, but he also would never enter my thoughts without permission. 

„Do you want to know why we´re not overly fond of him?“ He sighed, his tone was kinder this time, and my mother threw him a glance as if to say, `Are you sure?´ 

Do I really want to know why they don´t like him? Do I really want to know the answer to that? I wasn´t sure, but in the end my curiosity got the better of me and I nodded. 

So they began. 

They told me everything as the moonlight streamed in through the windows, illuminating my room with an eerie light. From Mor´s escape from Hewn City to what Eris had done to her and how Uncle Az had found her on that terrible day years ago. Also that Eris had once hunted my mother. They told me every detail. 

„He left her. Eris simply left her on the ground with nothing but a note nailed to her stomach.“ My father´s darkness swirled in the corners of my room as my mother gently stroked his arm to calm him. „I will never forget the moment Azriel brought her back. How he held her in his arms. And I will never forget when he was hunting for your mother, how he…“ he hesitated. „What your father is trying to say, sweetheart, is that Eris is not a good man.“ My mother said. „He is no more a good man than his father. Which is another reason.“ 

I wanted to believe them. I wanted to believe that Eris was the awful man they told me he was, but I couldn´t forget the man I had met. The way he had laughed when we walked through the forest earlier. The way his eyes had lit up when he heard me laughing.

I couldn´t. I didn´t want to! 

„The other reason we don´t like him, to put it mildly, is his father.“ She took a deep breath. „You must understand that Beron is... he is a cruel man, honey. High Lord or not.“ „The fact that Eris,“ my father clearly struggled with his next words, „is your mate means that you would live with him at Autumn Court because he´s the heir. But only if the bond snaps for you too.“ He came closer and cupped my shoulders, caressing them gently. „Starlight, don´t get me wrong. I´m more than happy that you´ve found your mate, it´s just that I wish it was someone more trustworthy.“ Slowly he leaned forward and planted a soft kiss on my forehead. „Your mother and I just want to know that you´re safe. And the Autumn Court is anything but.“ Both my parents pulled me into a tight embrace. I let myself be surrounded by their love and warmth, but there was still that feeling. A feeling hidden deep inside my soul that tried to protest. The perfect little daughter, aren´t you? Always obedient and quiet, huh? Before my inner critic got too powerful, I shoved those thoughts away. 

„My little star, please promise us you won´t see him again? It´s only for your own safety, okay?“ They looked at me with longing in their eyes. Hoping that I would agree with them. Déjà-vu. 

I took a deep breath, silenced my thoughts and looked straight at my parents. I will not back down. Not this time! 

Fake happiness sneaked into my eyes and I nodded, making them sigh and give me each a kiss on the forehead. They just have to believe I won´t meet Eris again. But who said I´d actually do it? I wanted to know his side of the story and I would find out, even if it hurt. 

With these thoughts, my parents wished me good night and left me alone in my room. I quickly washed myself, put on my pyjamas and lay down. My pillows enveloped me like cotton candy clouds and lulled me to sleep almost immediately.

The evening might have been imperfect in the end, but I wasn´t going to let the conversation with my parents ruin the wonderful experience with Eris. And as I thought about him, I soon drifted off into a pleasant sleep.

✴︎✦・✴︎✦・✴︎✦・✴︎✦・✴︎✦・✴︎✦・✴︎✦・✴︎✦

It stared at me. The beast without eyes. The beast of many names. It stared. Devouring everything and everyone. Its waves tore at me like a rough wind on a stormy day. It tried to suffocate me. To steal my air. Help me! I need to breathe!

It circled around me and then...! A piercing pain shot through my entire being. It attacked. Again and again. Sinking its sharp claws into my flesh and knocking the air out of my lungs. I was drowning more and more in this all consuming place of nothingness. But this time... something had changed. Something inside me awakened. It growled and fought to get out. 

Another cruel pain shot through me, making this creature inside me even angrier. And then I struck back. I kicked into the darkness around me. I kicked and punched in every direction when suddenly a gut-wrenching scream escaped from the depths of my soul and the blackness around me shook. Every fibre of my being trembled and the darkness ripped itself apart until I collapsed, completely exhausted. 

My eyes were closed, waiting for the beast to strike again, but nothing happened. No sound, nor any noise could be heard. Just silence, floating like a boat on waves of crystal blue water, and my heavy breathing. 

I slowly opened my eyes and sat up. My hands met the ground beneath me. Solid ground! The darkness was still there, but it wasn´t moving. As if watching what would happen next, and just as I was thinking about that, something caught my eye. I turned my head to see a tiny spark glittering in front of me. It flickered again and continued to spread. It grew and grew until a dazzling fire crackled just a few paces out of reach. The flames flickered wildly, and glowing sparks flew in every direction. But instead of backing away, I held up a hand and reached straight into the flames. It should have burned my palm. Burned my flesh down to the bones into ashes. But out of every scenario, it diminished. It calmed down, and its blinding flames retreated, only to reveal a bright orange pelt. 

A fox. A little fox sat in front of me, staring at me with its big, black button eyes. It squeaked and sniffed in my direction. There was something familiar about it. The mischievous gleam in its eyes and the tiny, sharp-edged teeth that showed when it yawned. Cautiously he took a step forward. The tapping of his paws echoed through the brightening surroundings, and his fur shone as if it had been born of fire itself. What a beautiful little creature. He took a few more steps towards me and then lay down carefully in my lap. Completely amazed, I reached out to stroke its fluffy appearance. I was even more surprised when the little fox began to purr like a cat, interrupted now and then by a squeak. 

I didn´t know where it was coming from, but soft rays of sunlight poured in and chased the shadowy beast back to where it had come from. Something settled deep in my chest and the little creature in my lap stroked its head against my hand. The light grew brighter by the second until my vision blurred.

✴︎✦・✴︎✦・✴︎✦・✴︎✦・✴︎✦・✴︎✦・✴︎✦・✴︎✦

@tele86 @circe143 @impossibelle @st4r-girl-official @cherry-cin @lilah-asteria

[dididi11]

I dont plan to get back into HH, but here are some things that have triggered me and that ik sure alot of people can agree on:

1. I feel like Charlie's idea of redemption can be seen through alot of perspectives. HOWEVER- what she specifically wants is to redeem EVERY soul. Now there's a reason to why hell exists, it's made for people who have done terrible things in their life, which is why they get banished to Hell in the first place. We may not know when a soul is actually pure enough to get redeemed- BUT we do know what you would have to be to end up in Hell. Murderers, RÆpists, Cannibals, Paedophiles- just all of those in the horrible category most definitely DON'T deserve a second chance. And even if they somehow did get redeemed, how would the victims in Heaven feel? Heaven is the place where they're supposed to feel safe- So how the hell do you expect to put them in the same place together without any conflicts? If you truly want to get the right people into Heaven, then you should background check every single Sinner throughly.

2. Adam- We all love love him and hate him, but there is one person to blame for when it comes to his Character: Vivziepop. I feel like she used the "Annoying Villain who doesn't care about anything that the protagonist has to say and is just downright badly written" trope way to often. He could've had so much potential to be a good written Character that would actually explain to Charlie why sinners just can't be redeemed. It just felt unnecessary to only let him be a douchebag, sing his song (which was banger don't get me wrong-) and shorten their time by 6 months for the next extermination to cause Charlie another COMPLETELY unnecessary problem. And all that for NO reason, "Yeah, but that's because he's a douch-" And that's exactly my point, why waste your time and effort on a basic ahh character if he's going to be a just an ordinary douche anyway? The first Season would've been so much more interesting if we actually had a logical explanation to why others are against of Charlie's idea. But no, instead all we get is "ahahaha, Sinners are stupid. They deserve Hell." Also why the Hell did Adam shorten the time for the extermination by 6 months?? It felt so unnecessary, They probably felt like the first Season would've been boring without any Action- and I'm pretty sure they could've made a different Scene that was also Epic without it not making sense.

2. ADAM AGAIN- I don't want this to be just about Adam, but since he is dead (BY FUCKING NIFFTY I HATE HER) and maybe wont come back- since we don't know if he'll get respawned..what kind of punishment will Lucifer specifically receive? To clarify things, Lucifer had disobeyed the rules of Heaven and Hell, he helped his daughter and her friends kill off half of the exorcists and even threatened them to retreat. And the worst part of all of this is that he would've killed Adam if Charlie hadn't stopped him. Even though Adam was killed by NIFFTY, I'm pretty sure the blame would be put on Lucifer instead of some Sinner. So what will happen if they try to communicate with Heaven again? They literally killed the first human of mankind created by God himself. Honestly at that point it would be a pretty huge deal and Charlie's redemption idea wouldn't even be looked into.

2. Emily and Charlie- I hate how none of the Characters genuinely understand the ACTUAL purpose of the extermination. It's to prevent Hell from gaining to much power, that's why they need to make sure to kill off half of the population. It was never about the redemption of Sinners, so Charlie shouldn't even think about canceling off the extermination. I also get why Emily is mad at Sera for lying to her, but the fact that she immediately joined Charlie's side without even thinking trough the entire thing is just downright dumb.

3. I feel like there's more to talk about, I just don't know what.

[oshiawaseni]

Trails of Love Hori's been paving down in the build up for the series' ending

Part II: Decoding the love story being told through other characters

Part One | II. KamiJirou | Part Three ->

.•° ✿ 5. "I̥̰̟͈̣̮͑̑͐̓̌z̴͉̙̲̋͗͌u̶̫̝̒̊̐Ocha" ೋღ

Oh look, time to defeat the raid boss of BNHA: IzuOcha. (I wrote this meta in March, and after reading it now, I didn't feel I needed to change anything, but I added a small bonus section at the end. Hope you enjoy!)

I have a lot of things to say about why Ochaco was never meant to be the one... but I'll try to stay concise and on topic with regards to this meta. Ochaco appears set up as Izuku's love interest from the get-go, but is that really what Hori wanted to do? I'll be taking a dive into their themes and in part three of this meta, I'll be explaining why the answer to that question has been a resounding: NO!

When I compared the feedback Ochaco got from Aoyama, Toga and Mina about her having a crush on Izuku for wanting to be like him, to Izuku, who didn’t get any feedback for all the times he did the exact same thing and copied Kacchan, it felt very unfair.

See what I mean? It is completely unfair. And this was such a hard topic for me to navigate and answer for the anon at that time. But then I did some thinking.

Compress, Gentle/La Brava, Kamijirou and finally Kirimina (which came as a pleasant surprise, and for me, cemented Hori's intentions with all of this)... all of these characters have been written to highlight various things about BkDk's relationship.

Then, there is Ochaco's admiration of Izuku and she always gets told it's a crush, and it's so weird of a plot to begin with. This very one-sided "crush" also felt out of place with the rest of the themes going on. I eventually realised maybe we had been looking too closely at the admiration issue all along. By attempting to explain the meaning of the tree and why it's different from this other tree, we didn't see the forest it's connected to and that there was actually something bigger going on that Hori had been crafting.

Scale it back and you’ll see: It’s not that Izuku didn’t get his own feedback about his feelings for Kacchan in the various ways he shows he wanted to be like him, but Ochaco’s conversations with Aoyama and Mina and Toga were his feedback!! It was one of the biggest AHHHHHHHHHHH SO THAT'S WHY pin drop moments I've ever had.

No one was calling him out, because they didn't need to! Calling out Ochaco for that behaviour was all Izuku's same behaviour needed!

Chapter 15 is the first time Izuku displays this behaviour of wanting to be like Kacchan. In Chapter 48 Izuku trains his movement after thinking of "Kacchan and the others". His movement mimicking Katsuki's is first noticed by Iida in Chapter 52.

We spent so much time worrying what the difference is between Izuku and Ochaco’s admiration, but we tackled the problem all wrong! In fact, we didn’t need to tackle it at all.

Because not only did Ochaco’s crush sideplot serve as a red herring to veil the real love story going on from the average reader, it was also used as another tool to highlight it.

In chapter 58, Izuku showed off his new movement style and everybody, even Katsuki, noticed it was copying the way Katsuki moves. The fact we get another Ochaco shot of her watching Izuku mimic Katsuki really does add credence to the theory that she noticed Izuku's feelings because he's also copying the person he loves. And if their logic was true for her, then why couldn't it be true for Izuku too? Izuku's mimicry being such a non-issue for 1-A was surely done on purpose for us to see this hypocrisy one day: That her mimicry gets called out as love by everyone, but everyone sleeps on Izuku's own mimicry simply because it's between two boys.

Our take away was never meant to be “what’s the difference between their admiration/love”, but simply that Izuku was both wanting to become like and inadvertently becomes like Kacchan because he loves him so much and a way to keep Kacchan close to him was incorporating both his attitude and movement style into his own.

Hori was linking the two concepts of mimicry and romance together with commentary from Mina/Aoyama/Toga while having Izuku do this EXACT THING they were talking about, with Katsuki, right in front of our damn salad!

Because what other characters noted about Ochaco's behaviour... Izuku was also expressing towards Kacchan. (Hori even brought it up again in DvK2 just to remind *everyone* that Izuku is very conscious of doing the exact same thing as Ochaco)

Even if Ochaco later reveals their logic to not be true FOR HER (which I wholeheartedly believe in. BkDk+TogaChaco end game LETS GO), we know for sure this logic has absolutely been true for Izuku. And the feedback Ochaco got also fits Hori’s framework of;

Bkdk -> are the actions

Other characters -> are the words for their feelings and actions.

Ochaco never was a raid boss to begin with... she only had the appearance of one. All to get BkDK through to the finish line.

Ochaco talking about "putting the All Might doll away" here used the same verb as "shutting her feelings away" and her scene instantly jumps to Izuku looking at his black whip - a quirk he has also "put away" behind a locked door that represents OFA. Black whip is a quirk which emerged from the feelings he has for Katsuki, that Izuku has also had to "put away" because what happened to him was so traumatic. I think Hori wanted us to see their two stories of "locking something away" were actually the same in essence, and it wasn't just black whip itself that Izuku had to lock away, but also his feelings for Katsuki... because we lost Izuku's POV towards Katsuki after the "I'm too blessed." scene. Most likely to hide the romantic love Izuku feels towards him from the reader.

I realised the same logic of the other couples also applied to Ochaco too a few months ago, while I was putting together this meta about all the ways Hori has indirectly shown readers what Izuku’s feelings for Kacchan are. Hori couldn’t say it outright because of his demographic and the current expectations society has that BL should stay in it's own category and far removed from shounen.

So Hori gave bkdk their moments without a whole lot of context and developed the idea of them simultaneously in another language, by getting other various characters to do the talking. And he used these characters to indirectly spell out bkdk’s love story in conjunction with bkdk’s own behaviour, all for the sake of his big bkdk reveal in the series' finale.

And to think he’s been doing this almost since the beginning blows my mind. (Chapter 15! Chapter 15 was the start of WWKD: What Would Kacchan Do) The man is a genius. A lot of this feels like he had needed to release his feelings about bkdk, so he left these trails of code throughout the manga... and we’ve finally cracked the damn thing.

We did it. We realised Hori’s 2nd language and roundabout method of telling one of the greatest love stories in shounen history. And I’m sure there’s even more examples of it to discover, that all our fandom's talented, keen-eyed bkdks find every day.

If Horikoshi Kohei-Sensei wrote this story because he wanted to cement his mark in jump history, he has deservedly done just that!

Part B - The real ship of dreams

(It felt too good to be true, yet I was quietly hoping...) .•° ✿ 5. TogaChako ೋღ

Circling back to the first part of this meta, "The Shape of an Eternal Bond" ... Do you remember when I talked about how BkDk couldn't imagine a world without each other, and the sense of an eternity they both exude together? Something that has always been, something that will always be. It seems more themes and feelings we get from bkdk's relationship have now been thrown into the Togachaco fight.

Ochaco gave Toga what is essentially a marriage proposal to a vampire, and then her wires made the shape of the infinity symbol. Toga expresses to her "I can't stand the thought of you not being in this world anymore." This is 1. so touching 2. bkdk as HELL, and I am certain that Katsuki and Izuku will confess their desires to be together forever before this manga ends.

I mean, this just goes to show you how us bkdks and Hori are literally on the same neural link, and we've been right about his methods of storytelling and how he's leaving trails of love inside these other couples to express concepts that are present in bkdk's own (soon to be) very romantic relationship.

It's a fun thought exercise to look at Togachaco's fight and predict what certain themes of theirs Hori will install into bkdk's talk/feelings they will express to each other... but there is a certain one, other than "forever", I feel very strongly about and will focus on here...

And that is Izuku's smile.

Something Katsuki once detested became the thing he most advocated for and longed to protect. His thumbs pointing to himself while talking about smiles... no wonder this had an air of Katsuki, himself, being the biggest reason Izuku smiles. "How could you leave me and choose this for us - a life of no smiling like that?"

At the start of the series, Katsuki couldn't stand Izuku's face or the smile he made at him. Whenever he saw it, he could only think of it as somebody laughing at him, looking down on him... but then DvK2 reframed Izuku's wide smiles at him and turned them into something pure, and genuine, and I think that's when Katsuki started to realise how much he was being loved the whole time.

And how could Katsuki possibly not reciprocate those earnest feelings from his special person who helped him find his heroic heart?

And this seems to be something Ochaco has noticed about Izuku? Ochaco, somebody who loves when people smile, noticed how big Izuku smiles when he talks about heroes... but especially the besotted faces he makes whenever he's with Katsuki... Of course she did.

On the Weekly Shounen Jump cover that featured bnha chapter 394, most of the characters on it are happy and smiling. Izuku isn't, however. That's because he's lost the ability to smile because Katsuki is still dead in the manga... Hori used this jump issue to build on this theme in the manga - that if you take Katsuki away, then away goes Izuku's smile, too.

Because Katsuki's very existence gives Izuku his happiness.

These two panels were supposed to be compared to each other - "Blood" and "Smiles" are two concepts mirroring each other in Togachaco's story. It's their different love languages. Toga felt like she couldn't ask Saito-kun for blood because he'd never accept her, Ochaco felt like she couldn't ask Izuku for his smile... because he'd also never accept her... she knew this was because Izuku already had somebody who gave him his sweetest smile... the same person who knew him more than anyone.

Chapter 395's title, 'shiawase no ue ni' was an interesting one that feels nuanced with Ochaco's feelings towards Izuku. It can be read as "Above (my) happiness..." I think this title is describing the concept of prioritising something else BEFORE one's own happiness. It's the perfect concept title for self-sacrifice, like Toga putting Ochaco's life above her own, but could ALSO be referencing Ochaco placing Izuku's happiness with Katsuki before her own feelings for him!!

Ochaco's story, at present, appears to be about putting aside unrequited love for a person she didn't quite understand, and instead placing her efforts into an attainable goal - rescuing somebody's heart from despair, and in doing so, becoming each other's important person. And then neither have to journey through life alone anymore. Ochaco knew this is something Izuku and Katsuki found in each other. In the image above, the girls are looking at Izuku and Saito, who won't turn their way, because they are both looking at a blonde boy next to them. Their "Sometimes Saturday." Katsuki.

The hidden face as Ochaco says she "came to like" Izuku Midoriya is quite suspicious. It belies what she's saying and she seems to either be hiding something negative or she’s not being truly forthcoming about her situation and feelings for Izuku. There are also themes of envy that finally showed up in Togachaco's dialogue which may be foundation Hori has laid down for the reveal of Ochaco's feelings later, as well. Envy about the attention Izuku received from others as a hero. Envy towards Izuku's innate passion for heroes, and the adoring faces he makes for Katsuki, perhaps.

So this smile that Katsuki has always misunderstood as something negative aimed towards him ended up turning into something... very lovely and important to him, as shown in Izuku's panel and how Ochaco described Toga's smile right afterwards.

And honestly... if we get little snapshots of the many smiles Izuku has made for Katsuki, while Katsuki is thinking about how adorable Izuku looks just for him when they're talking, I don't think I'll make it out of this bkdk reveal alive. Hori is going to obliterate us with whatever he's got cooking for them.

With all the major bkdk-alike couples now finished, the next post of this meta series will be: Part III, and the conclusion of this meta series ->

Back to Part One

[zombie-bait]

The Death of a Vampire

Lestat as a protagonist just works so incredibly well and a very significant aspect of that is him being Anne Rice's self-insert. Lived experience can be critical when it comes to writing a good story and many memorable novels will feature elements of that. Anne is built different, though. Lestat (book 2 onwards) is basically Anne's journal for dealing with her grievances and trauma, which, on its own, is a very questionable method of writing. More often than not, it causes him to be characterized inconsistently between books because Anne's own opinions have changed. But it also makes him so real.

You follow his struggles with religion, you see him yearn for forgiveness from a god that has seemingly abandoned him a long time ago and you feel it. The passage I will never get over is in the early chapters of The Vampire Lestat, when Lestat has a breakdown over his mother's (and frankly his own) mortality. He struggles and he cries and he can't get out of bed because there's nothing he can do. Eventually he starts to live again, forces himself to.

But.

"I wandered into the church and on my knees I leaned against the wall and I looked at the ancient statues and I felt the same gratitude looking at the finely carved fingers and the noses and the ears and the expressions on their faces and the deep folds in their garments, and I couldn’t stop myself from crying. At least we had these beautiful things, I said. Such goodness. But nothing natural seemed beautiful to me now! The very sight of a great tree standing alone in a field could make me tremble and cry out. Fill the orchard with music. And let me tell you a little secret. It never did pass, really."

I think about those last two sentences a lot. I think about them even more since Anne Rice passed away.

Every page of Interview is spent talking about death and yet (imo) it's only in TVL that you really feel it. Louis in book 1 welcomes death quite readily because, besides his toxic boyfriend and their traumatized daughter, he doesn't have much to live for. He's basically given up by the time Lestat appears. The greatest torture, to Louis, is the knowledge that he can live forever on the suffering of others.

But Lestat is the complete opposite. He wants to listen to music, to explore Paris, to perform on any stage that will take him, to embrace the man he loves and to send his ailing mother letters of his accomplishments. Death matters most to those who are desperate to live and god is he desperate. He's haunted by his mother's sickness, by the wolves on the mountain that threaten to end his life before he's even lived it, the witches place that reeks of meaningless suffering. And in a way, the dark gift provides opportunity to escape that. But it is still death. It takes away Nicki in a very literal way and takes away his mother in a more personal one. Magnus, like death, chose Lestat arbitrarily. He sees the cellar of blonde corpses and knows that he was only one of dozens to meet an untimely death with no explanation.

Lestat also really wants you to know that he is, truly, a good person. He must be. He swears to only hunt criminals and then goes back on that two pages later. He reshapes stories to present himself as the noble protagonist and the audience has no choice but to believe him. He wants, desperately, to be loved for all that he is, man and monster. He wants to be the hero.

He's this awful, fascinating, very human man so clearly born out of the internal struggle to find meaning and love in a cruel, unpredictable world we all tend to share. He's made up of incredibly basic and powerful human desires hidden behind a mask of bravado and I can't recalling seeing another protagonist like him.

(Quick mention: This isn't some kind of "wow Anne Rice is an incredible author who can do no wrong" piece. She's written a lot of fucked up and bad shit that cannot be easily brushed over. But I don't think I'll ever get over reading TVL for the first time. To read someone bare their soul in such a way creates a truly unique experience. A lot of characters in a lot of pieces of media face death, but it's rare to see a character face mortality in such a personal way.)

(Also odds are I've written similar posts to this before but shhhhh these sad gay vampires are all I have)

[mylittleredgirl]

For the ship it or not game: Benjamin x Kasidy, please?

(ship asks)

I Ship It

1. What made you ship it?

they literally COULD NOT have written a better love interest for ben sisko, and they put them together so thoughtfully. jake sets them up -- after a build-up where we see jake turning into a young man thinking about his future and really wanting his dad to have someone. i love that she's a freighter captain, a type of person in the ds9 universe who we have never really gotten to know, and essentially a grounding element -- she's a civilian living her own life who is (at first) totally uninvolved in the a-plot. and she knows about baseball!! the sheer joy i felt watching her walk in in her second appearance in "the way of the warrior" and they're already together and falling in love...

i couldn't find a great two shot of them so look at these caps from the "don't get killed" moment in the way of the warrior........ ROMANCEEEE

2. What are your favorite things about the ship?

it's such a good relationship!!!! they're mature, open, respectful, demonstrative, sexy... every beat is so potent and it expands into episodes she's not even in. i love her, i love her for him, i love him for her, and i LOVE her relationship with jake. their love stories are both heavy and light ("it's a big step") but there's never a flippancy to their relationship ever. and hooooooly shit. for the cause. i remember my dad showing me the last scene of casablanca like "this is the end scene of all time" but have you seen the last scene of for the cause.

genuinely i think this would be THE undisputed together-on-screen-in-canon star trek relationship of all time if it weren't for the fact that kasidy is a guest star and, while she has a rich implied life and does develop and grow, we never get the full main character treatment with her like we do with riker/troi and paul/hugh (and michael/book because book is also a guest star but he's a driving force of the a-plot of a whole season).

3. Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

i think most people probably agree with me tbh that it's an incredible ship that's electric on-screen and underrepresented in fanworks. i don't know if people agree that the last part of their arc was the weakest part because it was rushed (that engagement scene was so sweet though!! it's your house i want it to be our house!!), and i don't really like unplanned pregnancy as a trope (planned pregnancy? yes please!). like yes, her entire presence in the series has always been to serve his emotional story, but this felt different. until that point, her life between episodes was mostly implied until it intersected with the plot, but it was important to her and believable. in the final chapter it vanished completely, and i can't remember if she ever made that an intentional choice (or, if she did, if that choice was given enough weight).

[anonzentimes]

i find it honestly kind of insane how misunderstood komaeda is online like maybe its because i did his ftes on my own playtrough but just from playing dr2 once to me he never felt like a "uwu hope boy" or a "hope obsessed male junko", he just felt like his own guy with his own reasons that have nuance and arent bound to black and white good or bad mentalities, and because i got all of that from 1 playtrough i honestly thought nagito was not that hard to understand and now i see people boxing him on one or the other and i just sit there like did we play the same game ???????

im also someone that overthinks a lot and wants my interpretations of characters to line up with canon as much as i can and i dont dare to talk on the internet about characters i dont fully grasp so its bonkers to me how many people are so openly completely missing the entire point of nagitos character........

It really is annoying how some people completely miss his character or think he has to be stuffed in specific categories, part of what makes his character so great is that he cares so much and is so sweet but is morally gray when it comes to his absolute beliefs/obsessive coping mechanism but even in the end his moral grayness doesn't have ill intentions. He's messed up by the circumstances of his life and the diagnosis also impacts things, he's still a really sweet boy who cares a lot and all of that is a MIX. Nagito is basically the moral grayness added to Danganronpa 2 that makes its messages more impactful and interesting. Nagito is practically a parallel to both Makoto and Hajime, and with his own sweetness and personality, problematic coping mechanisms from circumstances/luck cycle, and appearance it creates somebody completely new and wonderful. Somebody who's Super LOVABLE!!! In fact Nagito is so easy to misinterpret that the Wiki actually says "He's revealed to be a psychopath," which kind of undermines everything about him as well as isn't actually correct to the definition of a psychopath >:(

also the male Junko thing is inherently wrong because his mindset is completely different and Junko is also well written in her own way, the crazy eyes make people think of it or make jokes about it but it's just completely wrong Lol. Nagito loves Hope and believes despair is absolutely NECESSARY for Hope. Again, more of a parallel to Makoto, Not Junko. And then for the whole "uwu" boy it's like, c'mon dude. I know you didn't say these and are indeed agreeing with annoyance with these statements but I get annoyed too so I wanted to add a mini ramble about it too HAHA!

Anyways, I guess overall I just wish people could enjoy him with completely understanding him more, It feels really good for me at least. Probably because he's the biggest special interest i've ever had in my life and mere mentioning him gives me happiness, but I digress I think he doesn't have to be put into specific boxes. Good people can do bad things, he's a complex character with a lot of depth. In a weird way his character is definitely over the top fantasy from the franchise being that way, but what Danganronpa does is make that feel real. In that aspect Nagito feels realistic with how he isn't just black or white.

thanks for your ask and thank you for letting me ramble on my birthday <3 :D!!!!!

[mikuni14]

Dead Friend Forever - Ep 7

This episode of DFF is also excellent and I feel so blessed to have experienced two series with such well-written scripts this week (the other being Love for Love's Sake, of course) 💖

Everything in DFF is clear, logical and understandable when we take into account that the characters of this series are 1) humans 2) teenagers. I completely understand the behavior of each of these characters, even when I feel like tearing my hair out or throwing punches and kicks at them. If anyone is wondering whether what Non, his teacher, his bullies, is doing is illogical, I encourage you to study police reports - I have literally read about situations such as those in DFF.

Phee: what a solid guy 😍 As soon as he appears, we see him as a perfect boyfriend, romantic, strong, who gets things done. I like his attitude, the fact that no matter what, how, he gets shit done, even if he has to use his own father and his position to do it. I understand his controlling nature when you have a boyfriend like Non (Phee is in love, but he's not stupid and naive), I also understand that he doesn't fully trust Non. I completely understand his behavior at the end, especially when he entered the scene with Non and the teacher hugging. I also understand cruel words. Should Phee have acted differently? Of course. But he COULD NOT. Because he would have to be made of stone and be a hardened adult with perfect self-control and nerves of steel. Phee, despite how smart and talented he is, is only human and is still a child who doesn't have to be able to regulate his emotions, control his feelings of hurt, betrayal and rejection, and doesn't have to be able to cope ALWAYS and in every situation. Perhaps when Phee calms down, he will want to explain the situation, or at least apologize for his words. Who knows. Anyway, he's great as a character, my fav.

Non: in his being pathetic, in refusing Phee's help, in trying to save his situation by sinking deeper and deeper, in trusting the wrong people, in "allowing" bullying, in seeking validation of his self-worth where he shouldn't be, he is 100% real. Non irritates and that's how it should be. Because victims are often irritating and often confusing in their behavior. And how often questions are asked: but he/she agreed to it, no one forced her/him, he/she went there herself, they did it of their own free will! Why didn't he/she tell anyone, why didn't they confess? And here we can also ask why Non is doing all this, why won't he confess to Phee, why won't he transfer to another school, why is he having sex with the teacher? For me, Non is a victim of the system, his illness, his family, his school, and maybe also his personality. I also wondered why he didn't want to change schools and just leave it all behind, usually students who are victims of bullying dream of changing schools. But I think, looking at his conversation with Phee, that Non wanted to regain control over his life, wanted to solve his problems himself, perhaps feeling like a weakling and a loser seeing how easily Phee solved his problems. Perhaps he felt that control over his life was slipping from his fingers and he desperately tried to regain it by closing open issues, such as his debt and the movie. Does his behavior make sense to me? No. But I've never been in such a situation, I'm trying to understand it and this explanation seems quite logical to me. Especially since Non tries hard and finally wants to give up at least the movie, while staying at the summer house, and is stopped by Jin. And he tries to get the money back by sleeping with his teacher, because in his mind THIS is not bad, THIS is just a way to solve the debt problem. And for him, a poor person, the problem of money may be more important than having sex with a teacher. Sex with the teacher itself doesn't have to be such a big problem for him, especially since the teacher is young, handsome, helpful, nice and shows compassion and attention. For a person like Non, it may even be flattering and he may even convince himself that nothing bad is happening, it's just sex, physical stuff, he gets something out of it that solves his money problem and the teacher is so nice! I can imagine how Non can manipulate himself in this situation and how easy a victim of grooming and manipulation he is for the teacher. And I must say that the series shows PERFECTLY how adults prey on children and teenagers, technically the adult does not force Non to do anything, he just sets up a very complicated trap in which Non cannot say "no". This series really doesn't fuck around, it just shows the TRUTH. Just to be clear: Non is the SA victim in this situation, PERIOD. I do not accept any accusations against him.

Jin: I don't know ultimately whether it was Jin who released this video, but if he did it, I understand that too, his behavior seems logical to me. People do all kinds of stupid and hurtful things under the influence of feelings of betrayal and hurt (even if Jin had no right to these feelings), especially young people (here is the same situation as with Phee, which I described above). Jin may feel betrayed, because he "did so much for Non", he always defended him. Jin also honestly has a crush on Non and found him not with a boy on a date (Jin didn't have any strong reaction to seeing Non hugged by another boy), but having sex with an adult and with a teacher to that. It's a lot to digest, and clearly Jin couldn't handle it at all (if I'm not mistaken, he was also drinking, which certainly didn't help).

All these shitty little pricks: Fluke, as always, avoids trouble and simply removes himself from situations, never comments, never takes sides (meaning - he takes sides with the bullies). I wonder how Jin always looks at him when he's looking for allies to help Non and how Fluke never reacts. Por, with his increasingly worse behavior, also fits the mold of a classic bully who has found a victim, in addition, someone he truly hates, and whom he can torment without consequences, and it's quite possible that he simply likes it. All this is a dangerous mix, pushing Non to his limits, encouraging other bullies, but also very realistic. Tee and Top are up to something and it scares me. All I know is that this money will be stolen and Non will have to get it again...

I am very impressed with this series, how well it's done, how realistic and logical it is. I'm incredibly intrigued and curious and I'm looking forward to the next episode. I rate the story building, script and character cohesion as 10.

[agirlwithglam]

GIRL TALK #1:

friends & feeling left out

disclaimer! this Q&A of being left out applies to both friends and co-workers, but mainly applies to with friends. another thing is that this is for people who feel as if they can't really go anywhere right now. for the people who aren't completely unhappy with their friend group, but also want something to change. reminder that if you feel that miserable on a daily basis, the best thing to do is just leave. cut them off and work on yourself. the points i will be mentioning are just "add ons" to the obvious/ main one: self love. if you don't love yourself, don't expect others to either.

ps. summary of the main points at the end!

Question: hi! so how was today?

Vanilla: it was actually pretty good.

Q: glad to hear that! did you feel left out?

V: yes. but i had a much different approach to it this time i realise.

Q: how so? what did you change?

V: okay so usually, when i feel left out i dwell on it too much and it affects the way i think of the people/ certain scenarios sometimes. so the thing is, when i felt left out today, i had to realise that they weren't purposely trying to hurt me. these people were my friends, they cared about me. all they wanted was to just have a good time. it wasnt that deep or personal. it never is!

Q: i love this view on it! was there anything specific that you did/ didn't do?

V: Ooh okay so one thing I didn’t do was dwell on it. And the second thing that I understood was that these people weren’t my ‘forever’. They were not going to be my friends forever! Change is the only constant. Once I understood that, I was able to let loose a lot more and stop being so attached and clingy. And that’s another thing I realised! : stop attaching/ basing your identity on them. YOU are the one who decided who you are and what type of person you are. Not them, YOU. 

Q: wow. Some truly inspiring words there! Can you please expand on the 1st point you made? The one about not dwelling on it. How would you go about doing this?

V: don’t overthink it. okay, I know how hard that can be to just “not overthink it”, I am a huuugee overthinker myself. But I guess that after a while, I just god fed up and used to it. Okay, I know how sad that sounds, but what I mean is, after a while, you just get fed up of obsessing over it and caring so much about it that eventually, you’re like “okay.. whatever.” It may still hurt, but it hurts a lot less. Anyways back to the non-dwelling thing: overthinking and dwelling (on the negative stuff) are the killers of joy. That’s it. Let me remind you that YOU are the one that attaches and gives meaning to things!! If something happens that you find yourself dwelling on or overthinking about, then just stop yourself and realise that although you cannot control how others think, act and are, you most definitely can control your reaction to it, and how you think about it.

Q: very nice! I love the way you’ve written this here. So how exactly would you go about “ignoring” or not dwelling on it?

V: by distracting myself. out of sight, out of mind. What I normally do if im in school is just focus on your own work. You go to school to be educated. Having friends is just a bonus. im so lucky that I even get the PRIVILEGE of getting to go to school, so quit whining and make the most of it! Normally, I would just put my head down and get as much work as I can done, while pretending im Rory Gilmore obvi. And once im done, I’ll just go onto Pinterest or Tumblr hehehe

Q: well okay! Thank you so much for being here with us, you really do have some very helpful knowledge and tips!

V: not knowledge, just experience. Im grateful to have helped.

THE END.

summary/ main points:

not everyone wants to purposefully hurt you. not everyone is out to get you.

don't dwell/ overthink it.

realise that nothing is forever or permanent. they too, will leave.

do not base/ attach your whole identity to these people.

Xoxo, Vanilla

[fruitylo0pz]

A New Start pt. 4 (NSFW)

(part 1 | part 2 | part 3 if you haven't already read them)

Larissa Weems x fem!Reader

Warnings: smut (angst at the very beginning), NSFW, 18+, switch!Larissa, fingering, cunnilingus

A/N: I'm so sorry part 3 was so angsty, but I promise it gets better in this part. I couldn't leave it like that so I tried to be quick with part 4. This one is a bit longer, and I have written it so that I can either end it here or continue. If you want more, I’ll gladly continue! As usual I have proofread it but apologise for any mistakes. Hope you enjoy!

Word count: ~3.3k

-----

You had been nothing but a tense ball of too many emotions, completely unable to untangle them enough to make sense of it. You had seen Larissa in town, but she once again ignored you. You had considered calling the police, afraid he might actually have harmed her but at least she looked okay when you saw her. And what would you even tell the police? Her husband with his position and you, some new insignificant person in town. Besides, you didn't have any proof other than your own worries. You just wanted to know if she was okay. It tore you apart to think about not ever seeing her again, but you just needed to know if she was okay. You couldn’t text her, because you didn’t want her to end up in even more trouble.

You were working on another project, but this one wasn’t as big and time-consuming. You wish it was, because your thoughts wandered less if your projects were challenging enough. You had started taking some freelance work on the side, not because you needed it for the money but your mind sorely needed the distraction. Suddenly, your phone vibrated in your pocket and you froze when you saw who had texted you. 

Larissa: I need to talk to you. Can you come to the spot I took you to the week after we met? By the pond? No one ever goes there. I need to see you. Please.

You: Larissa!! Of course. Of course I’ll come. When?

Larissa: Tonight at 7? I miss you, Y/N.

You: I’ll see you then. I miss you too. So, so much.

You were shocked, but it was a good kind of shock. Although, you couldn’t help thinking about all the different outcomes. Was she going to end it all with you? Was she going to suggest a new place where you could meet? You found yourself drawn to the first scenario. Thinking about that would be less hurtful if she actually did break it all off with you. But if she did, you figured you would probably have to move again. Jericho wasn’t big enough for you to avoid her, and seeing her would just be too much.

The day went by slowly and you tried your best to focus on your work. It was as if every nerve in your body was screaming, making you anxious and nervous from what was to come. You really had no idea what was going to happen, and you didn’t like it when you weren’t on top of things. You liked being in control. You liked knowing what was coming in your life so you knew how to handle it better. As soon as your workday was over you went home and went for a run on the treadmill before making dinner, just to take your mind off of her until it was time to leave. 

You got in your car and closed your eyes. You tried to prepare yourself for what might come, but you just wanted to cry. You sighed and told yourself to calm down. You didn’t want the first thing Larissa saw to be you being an emotional mess. She had already been through enough with that bastard of a husband of hers, and you did not want to add more to that pile. All the way there you tried to numb your thoughts. You tried to take notice of the scenery just so you could focus on anything but her. When you saw her leaning on her car, you almost collapsed and it  took every fibre, every cell in your body to seem calmer than you felt. 

As soon as you got out of the car, she ran towards you and wrapped her arms around you. “Oh, Y/N. I have missed you so much. I am so, so sorry about everything.” She started crying, and you wiped her tears.

“Please don’t cry, Larissa. Please. I have missed you too, but I need to know that you’re okay. I need to know that you are doing fine. Did he harm you?” You held her face in your hands gently, looking for any signs of abuse.

“He is all words and no action. He wouldn't dare to lay a hand on me. He knows just as well as I do that this marriage has never been anything but a setup that makes him look like the perfect gentleman.” She smiled and leaned down to kiss your forehead. 

“I’m just glad you’re okay, Larissa. I have been so worried. You deserve better than him, and I know you always have. You’re too good.” You hugged her just to hold her close, just to feel her near. 

“Y/N… I need to tell you something, but I don’t want to do it here. I have a cabin not far from here, and I’d like you to come with me. I have everything we need there, and I have some clothes for you there. To be honest, I already bought some clothes and other things for you that I left there, hoping I would be able to take you there someday. And I figured today would be good since it’s the weekend.” She chuckled and blushed at her confession, and you laughed lightly. 

“I’d love to, Larissa. And I find it so endearing that you actually keep things for me there.” You kissed her hand and brushed her cheek gently. 

“I’ll lead the way and you can follow me, is that okay? I don’t want you to leave your car here. There isn’t a lot of traffic here, but you never know.” You nodded and went back to your car. 

You found yourself giggling and smiling all the way to the cabin, and when you arrived you were astonished. A cabin? A cabin bigger than your house. Then again, her being as sophisticated as she was, it shouldn't even be a shock anymore. 

You stepped out of the car and smiled at her “Cabin, huh? This is nicer than any house I’d even dare to dream of.” You stared at it in awe. It was a beautiful cabin, and it was as if it was made for her.

She chuckled and stroked your cheek “I had it designed and built about two years ago as a retreat for myself. I only ever go here alone, and he has never had access to it, not that it has ever been of any interest to him. This area is very special to me. I used to come here all the time as a child, daydreaming of living here. So when the land was up for sale, I bought it so that I could have a place to get away. And I also made sure to have it big enough to live here if it ever comes to that. Shall we? I’d like to give you a tour.” She smiled and grabbed your hand.

You were still in awe but gladly followed her. “It is truly beautiful, Larissa. I can tell that you took part in designing it.” As soon as you entered you found yourself even more in awe, realising you were gasping. It was the perfect balance of new and old, and you could tell that every decision was so carefully made. It was so well done, it all came together like a beautiful jigsaw puzzle. 

“Okay, Y/N. Come here and sit down, please. Like I said, there is something I need to tell you.” She sat down and looked at you with a serious look on her face, making you feel like all your insides tensed up. You feared that you were right, but at least you tried to prepare yourself.

You nervously sat down and looked at her. You couldn’t read her face, and that worried you. “What is it, Larissa? If you want to break things off and this is our last time together, please tell me.” You could feel yourself well up and you tried your best to keep your composure. 

She stroked your cheek and chuckled. “Y/N, darling… I have left him. I don’t care about his reputation, because my reputation and my image has always been based on him and I don’t want that anymore. I am so deeply in love with you, and I fell hard and fast. When I’m with you, I am happy, I feel so cherished, so valued. I don’t know how you feel, but I had to tell you.” Her face immediately turned serious, and she hesitantly grabbed your hand almost as if it was to calm herself.

You welled up again, but this time it was for an entirely different reason. You were shocked, but it felt like a cocoon of butterflies gently opened in your stomach. “Larissa, I am stunned, but I feel the same way about you and I never thought I would. When I’m with you, everything else becomes so insignificant. Nothing else matters when I am near you, and I do cherish you. I fell for you the first time I laid my eyes on you. You make me so happy. And we will of course take things slowly if you need that.” You leaned forward to give her a gentle kiss and gave her a hug. 

She took your hands in hers and looked into your eyes. “I have already wasted too much time, Y/N. I have wasted time I should have spent with you. Like I said, I have kept this place because I knew the time could come where I would move out. And there is nothing that would please me more than if you would live here with me. You don’t have to move in yet, if you’re not ready. My things will arrive next week and I have already packed everything. I can’t wait to start my next chapter, and little did I know that you would be my next chapter.” Her eyes teared up, and you gave her a reassuring smile.

“Yes, Larissa! I would love that. I don’t care if it’s too soon. If it had been up to me, we would have spent every day together already. And you’re right. We have wasted too much time.” You wrapped your arm around her and you let out a content hum, her head on your shoulder and your other hand carefully caressing hers. 

You just sat there in silence, completely captivated by each other. You didn’t have to say anything, because it was so clear how you both felt. You truly never thought you would feel this way about another person, with an intense neverending infatuation that just grew stronger. So fascinated by her knowledge on things, her sophistication and her passion for things that were important to her. You found yourself so fascinated about her entire being, so in love with who she was and the things you constantly learned about her. And you could not wait to learn more. 

Suddenly, she chuckled and sat up looking at you “Y/N, I don’t know about you, but I am actually starving. I would love to sit here with you for the rest of the day, but I fear our feelings for each other won’t fulfil our inevitable hunger. I’ll make us something to eat.” She smiled and got up from the sofa.

You followed her to the kitchen and watched as she cooked. You tried to help, but she just smiled and shook her head. “Your company is more than sufficient, my love. Let me do this for you, please.” You looked at her with a playful pout and she chuckled.

After dinner, you helped her clean up and she poured two glasses of wine. “Come, my love. Please let me relax in your arms?” You smiled and took her hand in yours before you went and sat down on the sofa. 

After some time in your arms, she looked at you with a familiar look on her face, smiling slyly. “Y/N, I think I should show you the bedroom. After all, you are going to live here too. It would be rude not to show you the whole house.” She grabbed your hand, and you were surprised at her being bold enough to take the lead like this but you liked it. 

The bedroom was just as beautiful as the rest of the house, or what you had already seen. The bed was custom made, and you could tell that it was expensive. She pushed you down on the bed before unzipping her dress and letting it fall to the floor. “I know this isn’t what we usually do, and I promise I am not trying to take the lead in any way.” She straddled your lap and leaned forward to kiss you. You bit her lip before forcing them open with your tongue, her meeting yours in a slow and lazy dance. You unclasped her bra and threw it on the floor before kissing her neck, making her gasp while her hand was in your hair. 

You bit her neck before looking up at her. “You’re so beautiful, Larissa. You’re my goddess.” You sucked on her neck slowly before moving down her chest, creating a trail down her sternum with your tongue. You bit her nipple gently, making her push herself towards you. Your hand massaged her other breast, and she started rolling her hips, desperate for some relief for the aching between her legs. You let your hand wander down her stomach before slowly sliding it down her panties, feeling how she was already soaked for you. She let out a low whimper and took a deep breath as your fingers started circling her clit slowly. 

“Oh, Y/N. I need more. Please.” She was practically begging you with her rolling hips. You gently pushed her aside enough to undress yourself quickly before sitting back down on the bed and she once again straddled your lap.

“Come, I want you to ride my face.” You looked up at her, and you knew this made her nervous but she nodded in agreement. You knew she loved it once she got into it. You moved up towards the headboard and laid down. She hesitantly moved towards you, but you pulled her down gently and she let out a loud moan as soon as she felt your tongue brush over her clit. You held her thighs as your tongue started moving slowly up and down. She started meeting your movements when she got more comfortable, and you noticed how she grabbed the headboard to keep still. The feeling of her arousal running down your chin made your core burn, and you could feel how she got wetter and wetter.

“Oh, you make me feel so good, Y/N.” Her voice was breathy and she whimpered while riding your tongue. You let your tongue slide up her slit before focusing on her clit again, and you could tell that you were pushing her closer to the edge. You grabbed her thighs harder as you felt her movements getting more erratic and you kept a steady pace until she came with a loud moan, making her shake while she was still riding your face to give herself a delicious release lasting even longer. 

You let her ride it out before she moved and collapsed on the bed. “Y/N, I’d like to taste you. Please. I know I have never tried before and I have no clue, but I want to try. Please let me taste you.” She looked at you with begging eyes, and you never expected her to ask or return it, but when she asked it made you clench around nothing and you nodded before spreading your legs. She moved down until she was between your legs and smiled before kissing your inner thighs. She maintained eye contact with you the whole time, and the sight of her between your legs made you even wetter. She let her tongue flick your clit and let out a quiet groan. 

“You taste so good, Y/N.” Her words made you moan and she started licking your clit with firm movements. She had clearly picked up tricks from you, but she quickly learned what you liked and what made you twitch. Your hand found the back of her head and you gently pushed her closer. You bucked your hips slowly as her tongue worked your clit making you feel things you had never felt before. The sounds she made let you know how much she was enjoying herself, and you gasped when she let two fingers assist her tongue in bringing you absolute pleasure. 

Your walls immediately clenched around her fingers, and you knew it wouldn’t take long for you to reach your high. Her fingers started fucking you hard while her tongue started circling faster and harder. Your breath went faster and she could tell that you were close. She moved so she could keep a steady pace both with her fingers and her tongue and your thighs started shaking as you exploded in a loud orgasm, resulting in you bucking your hips uncontrollably, making you soak her fingers and chin. She smiled and wiped off her chin with her hand as she slowly pulled out her fingers. 

She moved back up so she was laid next to you, and you were still trying to land. “Larissa, this was so fucking amazing. And this was your first time? You’ll be the death of me, but a very pleasant death.” You looked at her and smiled before kissing her. 

“I learned from the best, and you have no idea how proud I’m feeling right now. I can’t wait to make you feel that way every single night.” She let out a chuckle before kissing your cheek. You caught her eyeing you up and you could tell she wanted more. Suddenly, she leaned down and kissed your neck. Normally you wouldn’t allow her to take control, but this new side of her was extremely intriguing. Not a single person in the world could ever dominate you, but Larissa? You realised you’d do anything for her, and it surprised you but you went with it. 

Her hand grabbed your breast and you moaned. You had clearly awakened a side that had been dormant or one she didn’t know she had. Either way, you loved it. She pushed your legs open and moved so she was kneeling between them. She looked down on you with a hunger and desire in her eyes, one you had never seen before. While maintaining eye contact with you, she pushed her fingers inside your already soaked cunt. The sensation made your back arch and she started fucking you hard, still staring into your eyes. “Rub your clit for me, Y/N.” you nodded and let your hand wander down between your legs. Your fingers started circling your clit while she was fucking you harder and deeper, adding another finger. Normally you would never let anyone command you to do anything, but you had never been more turned on. You suddenly reached the edge in an orgasm sending shivers down your spine, making you scream. She kept going, and you had no intention of stopping her. Your orgasms kept rolling, and you had nothing left but whimpers to give when you had your fifth or sixth orgasm. You could tell that she would have kept going, but she knew how exhausted you were. 

“Thank you, Y/N. For letting me do this.” She collapsed next to you and kissed your forehead. 

You were still shivering from your orgasms, and you took a deep breath. “No, thank you, Larissa. That was absolutely breathtaking, as you can probably tell. This side of you? I love it.” You kissed her and wrapped your arm around her. She wore you out completely, and you wouldn’t have it any other way. Your fingers drew gentle circles on her back, and you both slowly drifted off to a comfortable sleep with your legs intertwined. You both got a new start, and it was a beautiful one. You could not wait to continue this journey with the beautiful woman next to you.

[luveline]

I think it's funny that you're not wrong, but this anonymous isn't completely wrong either. You are not obliged to do everything you are told, because you write because you love it and for free. But I think it would be nice if you at least responded to the requests that you don't want to make by saying that you don't feel comfortable or that you're not the right person to write about a certain subject, because people send requests because they like your writing and keep waiting for something that you know you'll never write, it's frustrating. You could clean out your inbox, I bet you get a lot of repeat requests and if you did the older ones there wouldn't be so many similar requests. This anonymous isn't right for demanding something like that of you, but really all the time you're opening new requests, writing things for new characters who are at their peak and forgetting about old requests. I like you, I like you a lot and I hope you take this message as constructive criticism!

"This anonymous isn't completely wrong either."

They are completly wrong. I'm not rude for opening my requests while others go unanswered.

As for what you added to the conversation, I will go through it point by point.

You think it would be nice if I at least responded to the requests that I don't want to make by saying I don't feel comfortable or that I'm not the right person to write about a certain subject.

It would be nice. You're right. But, 1. I don't have time to answer every request I recieve. There aren't enough hours in the day. 2. If there were enough hours in the day, it still wouldn't make me rude or unkind for not answering them, because I'm a person with choices.

You've assumed here that the reasons I don't want to make request is that they make me uncomfortable or that I'm not the right person. I can't speak for the latter, I'm probably not the right person for every request. But the reason I don't want to make a request is usually much more than this, and I'll list them for you.

Reasons I may not have written your request:

1. I didn't see it. I don't spend all of my free time scrolling though every single ask I recieve, and I miss them all the time.

2. Writing takes time. I may have wanted to dedicate my time to a different request, or something else.

3. I didn't like what was requested.

4. The request didn't meet my rules (which I ask everyone to read before sending a request).

5. I loved the request, but I didn't manage to make time for it.

6. I loved the request, but I forgot about it.

7. I loved the request, but I tried to write it and was unhappy with my draft.

8. I loved the request, but I loved another request, and I had to choose one.

If you want reasons for why I can't just spend every day answering requests I got sent but didn't answer, please remember I am a person with responsibilities, needs, hobbies, loved ones, etc.

People send requests because they like my writing, and they keep waiting for something that I know I will never write, it's frustrating.

People do send requests because they like my writing! But, as I'm learning, sometimes people send requests because they feel entitled to my writing and my time. Sometimes people send requests because they see me as a means to an end.

You've assumed that I know I'm never going to write a request, which isn't true.

I could clean out my inbox.

Even though I don't feel I have to share this with you, I will anyways, because I want you to understand.

I could clean out my inbox, and I do. My inbox is currently at around 900 asks. It was 1200 a few days ago, but I took some time to delete asks I felt I didn't want to answer, asks I didn't understand, spam asks, and requests. I probably deleted around 200 requests, because I will never do them. I think it is unreasonable to expect me to answer those 200 requests with a reason for each one, when, at the end of the day, a perfectly acceptable reason is "I didn't want to do this one."

I don't want to do every request I recieve. That DOESNT mean I don't appreciate the time, creativity, thoughtfulness, and often vulnerability that it took the person who sent it to send it.

Cleaning out my inbox would take a long time. If you want me to answer every request I'm deleting with a reason, it would take much longer.

I again, don't have the time to do this. I don't have the energy, or the patience, and that's okay! I'm one person trying to live the happiest life that I can, and unfortunately that doesn't include manually organising my askbox.

You bet I get a lot of repeat requests and if I did the older ones I wouldn't have so many that are similar.

Not to be disrespectful, but how would you ever know this? Again, you are making assumptions, and you are holding me to a standard based on that assumption. You can bet whatever you like, but that doesn't make what you think the truth.

That anonymous isn't right for demanding something of me.

They didn't actually ask me to do anything! They were just sending me a message expressing that they think I'm rude for opening my requests when I haven't done their request, even though in their eyes the request they sent followed my rules. But, like I've said above, there is a list of reasons why I may not have done their request, and we can add 9. The requester felt entitled to my time, and that it was okay to send me an insult based on their assumption of my actions.

But really all the time I'm opening new requests, writing for new characters who are at their peak and forgetting about old requests.

I'm allowed to open requests.

I'm allowed to write for new characters.

I'm allowed to write for popular characters.

I'm allowed to 'forget' about old requests.

You like me, you like me a lot.

I believe that you think you like me. I also believe that you are holding me to a standard that is unfair. I don't pretend to know your full intentions, but if the point of this message was to get me to answer every request I recieve every day with a yes or no, I won't be doing that. If that makes you like me less, that is your problem to deal with.

You hope I take this message as constructive criticism!

I honestly don't!

I would like to give you some constructive criticism in return!

At the start of your message, you said that I'm not obliged to do everything I'm told. You then went on to tell me a bunch of things to do. I think you should see the irony in this!

I also hope that you read this message and really take the time to understand what I'm saying. Imagine being told you have to answer every message you recieve all day and if you don't you're rude or not nice. Imagine having anonymous strangers trying to give you incredibly patronising and condescending advice on a situation they know nothing about and having to answer that kindly lest you be attacked by a barrage of messages criticising you for being rude, or for overreacting.

I cannot stress the amount of cruel anonymous asks I recieve. I can't explain it. It actually shocks my friends. There's rudeness, ignorance, people assuming I'm this and that, people framing their insults as compliments, people telling me they don't "get all the fuss", plain cruelty, and false narrative. I get very, very overwhelmed all of the time.

BUT

For everyone reading this, and to everyone who has ever sent me a request I didn't do, or support: I love this blog. I love having this blog, I love posting on this blog. I love the insane creativity and magic that people make here and lend to me. I love writing more than anything else in the entire world. It is my favourite thing to do, and so many stories I made wouldn't have been possible without the kindness, patience, sweetness and support of the people who send me requests and praise. Writing is my bona fide life saver. I will always be grateful for requests.

I hope that this doesn't get misconstrued as ungratefullness, but I have to set this boundary, and anyone who doesn't understand is fine because I know there is a sea of people who appreciate where I'm coming from:

What I do on this blog is up to me. Completely and utterly.

Again, I know there are so many people here who I can't begin to deserve, who send me requests and expect nothing in return. I love you!! I love your beautiful brains!!

Any messages trying to argue with me on this topic after this first one will be blocked. I have to protect my time and my peace of mind, and I'm not interested in debating it. — love jade

[twsthottakes]

imma be honest.... I'm quite pissed that Silver x Idia is not that famous. No it's not because I think this ship is better than the other yadda yadda.... it's just I DON'T HAVE ENOUGH SILIDIA FOOD TO FEAST :(((((((((((((( So if any artist/writer sees this and u see a potential between them... give it to me *gremlin noises* also pray for my wallet so one day I could commission my ship instead of weeping anonly thankyouuuurrr<3<3<3<3<3

HELPPP-

I'm personally more of an Azul enjoyer, but as a fellow rare pair fan, I absolutely get where you're coming from. And Silidia seems like a really interesting pairing! Two introverted people, and yet their perception on others is completely different, with Silver viewing others in a much more positive light than Idia.

While I absolutely understand your plight, if you haven't written or drawn anything for them yet, you might want to try! I used to feel the same way about a rarepair of mine, actually. Specifically, how it felt like all the authors for that ship clearly liked one character more. And I thought no one out of even the very few people who wrote for it would be interested in seeing anything I had to share, because 1. I wasn't confident in my own writing abilities (partially due to my age and lack of experience writing) and 2. The particular ideas I had were quite unpopular, not only rarepair centered but also favoring the character who most fans didn't favor.

But then, I was met with the pleasant surprise of people actually giving me a chance! People read my fics, and commented on them telling me how much they liked it! It was kind of crazy in a good way.

So yeah, if you haven't already, you might want to give making your own stuff a chance. You might even end up inspiring others and getting them into your ship!

But hey, not everyone likes writing or drawing, and if you already make stuff for your ship, this whole ramble was just a load of hot air. So take a complimentary Silidia drabble (below the cut) and see if my writing's even good enough for me to be listened to.

"So Ganyu's DPS seems good, but considering the powercreep, and how OP dendro is-"

The feeling of something soft on his shoulder stopped Idia.

"E-Eh, Silver...?"

It was Silver. Silver just fell asleep on his shoulder.

Silver just fell asleep on his shoulder. Silver just-

Fuck. Was this a special event or a final boss? Idia could barely tell.

"Ortho," he whispered. Would Silver wake up if he was too loud? Wait, no. Silver was a heavy sleeper. That was clear enough from how Idia's overheating hadn't woken him up yet.

Wait, no. Ortho was out with Ace-shi. He wasn't here to help.

Wait, but what would he even help with? Getting Silver to wake up? Doing that was getting the chance to unlock an extra-rare special event and just throwing it away! Only some weirdo who thought speedrunning a VN—wait, no, Idia'd done that before—would do that. But irl romance wasn't something Idia wanted to speedrun! It wasn't even something he even thought he'd get to have!

Motion. Fuck, w-was Silver waking up? Did Idia's overheating really get to him?

"Idia..."

"S-Sorry, I-"

"I love you too, Idia."

Huh? Where'd that even come from?

"Yes, our wedding was quite lovely, Idia. However, I must admit, your decision for a Cowboy theme certainly caught me off-guard."

Just a dream, then. Never mind.

W-Wait a second, they were married? Just in the dream, but still! They were married in there? Silver thought of them doing that?

Heh, he must've really seen their relationship going places, then.

Idia definitely didn't smile like some sappy romcom love interest at that. He did, however, calm down just a bit.

This was actually pretty based.

[cobaltrequiem]

I meant to send this yesterday but as someone who has loved bioshock for years I’m genuinely very curious to hear your thoughts on the games if you’re up for sharing some of them

OMG HI sorry I didn't see this in my ask box! Thanks for the ask @sand-worms and appologies for the rambling ahead!

The first BioShock game is my favourite out of the whole series, but that's partially because I'm quite sentimental about it. It was one of the first "serious" games that I had ever played. I was a teenager and before that point I was only allowed to play "family friendly" games. BioShock was one of the first games I bought with my own money on my own console (a switch lite I saved up for myself), and it was wonderful. The way it wasn't afraid to be overtly political and it wasn't afraid to frighten or challenge the player. It didn't treat you like an idiot.

I soaked up every aspect of it. The gameplay. The setting. The area designs. The characters. The messages that it wore on its sleeve. And the story, god the story! I was completely transfixed by it.

I finished it in two days, and I still consider it to be one of my top 5 games of all time. I wrote an essay on it's themes for my higher english course, and still regularly think about it.

It is one of the two games ever that has caused me to have an epiphany about videogames, not as simply an enojyable experience but as art, and truthfully I cannot bring myself to replay it. My first experience with it was so thorough and meaningful that I cannot bring myself to replay it. I know it wouldn't be the same. You were beautiful and I can never play you again.

I played BioShock 2 shortly after, and was initially quite disapointed at it for not being BioShock 1. You could tell that the story was written after 1 and that bugged me. Its political messaging also didn't seem as pointed to me.

However, throughout the course of the game I grew to really appreciate it's differences. The personal connection between Elanor and Subject Delta was incredibly touching. The choices in the game felt more meaningful and gave it an aspect of replayability that the first BioShock game did not have. The gameplay aditions were also great! I loved using the drill in particular, it was an incredibly satisfying weapon to use. It's story about altruism also resonated with me despite the slow start and I thought the adition of multiple endings (that didn't hinge on "is murdering children bad?") was also great.

BioShock 2 only took me a single day to complete, I sat down for 10 hours and played it all the way through with very few breaks, and I do seriously intend to revisit it - I own a copy for the xbox 360 now which should be infinitely better than playing on a switch lite. Overall its a very well made game, it just doesn't hold the same place in my heart as the original.

BioShock Infinite haunts me.

It's a game that had so much potential. The religious horror. The game's aesthetics. Playing a character that talked and reacted to things!

I went in with high hopes and loved it initially. I had a very personal experience with it too, albeit in a very different way. When I was a young child my dad bought a copy of BioShock Infinite shortly after it released and I would sit in the living room while he played it. It terrified me.

I have particularly vivid memories of the scene at the fair, it was maybe one of the first genuinely terrifying things I'd seen in a piece of media. It was a foundational memory for me and is perhaps where some of my love of horror comes from as an adult because it didn't just scare me to the point of tears, it fascinated me. The gore laden glory kills and the mechanised patriots were similarly horrifying but I never stopped watching. There was something alluring about this game I shouldn't have been seeing.

I really wanted to like BioShock Infinite but just couldn't. The story at times seemed like an excuse to get you from one point to another, the fence sitting centrist politics were tiring, and it tried to do everything at once.

BioShock Infinite was not a good game, but it was mediocre in an interesting way and that has stuck with me.

It wanted to be a political drama. It wanted to be high concept sci-fi. It wanted to be religious horror.

The area design made you feel like you were going around in circles. Vigours had very little story or gameplay relevance making them seem like a pointless adition clearly only meant to imitate plasmids. It didn't feel like a BioShock game but despite all of that it had potential. So many different ideas went into it, so many interesting storybeats and scenes and themes went into it but it just ended up feeling muddy and convoluted.

I can pick out so many things I like about it, so many things that are interesting and could have been amazing but weren't

Not too long ago I read a post from someone on this site. Something along the lines of "a good game will stay with you for a week, but a game that's mediocre in an interesting way will stick with you for life"

My dad never finished BioShock Infinite, but I did. I still think about it to this day.

[spacevixenmusic]

Unfairly Maligned Games, Vol. 1

Games I loved that got low scores, review bombed, or have some other weird negative stigma attached to them that I think is unfairly earned.

NOTE: I don't believe in giving games a number score or a letter grade. Maybe I'm just bad at criticism or very easy to please, whatever.

Battleborn [2016]

One of my personal favorite games of all time, Battleborn was advertised as a hero-based PVP shooter with MOBA mechanics that unfortunately came out right alongside one of the biggest games of the PVP shooter genre ever released (Overwatch). Thanks to this poor timing, Battleborn - along with several other similar but different games - was doomed to failure, choked to death by Blizzard's infinite marketing resources and predatory Free Play Weekends that just mysteriously happened to occur on the same weekends as its "competitors" major updates, DLC releases, promo events, etc. Battleborn is no longer available to play ANYWHERE as of January 2021; so few people played it after it was review bombed as "the game your mom bought you when you asked for Ovewatch for xmas" (yes Blizz fans used that fucking Simpsons meme TO DEATH, it's their one joke they have about Battleborn) that the game's servers had to be shuttered so the money could be funneled into Gearbox's much bigger cash cow release at the time, Borderlands 3.

Sour grapes aside, Battleborn was in many ways the game that many people actually wish Overwatch was now. In addition to the PVP game, Battleborn had a co-op campaign mode - complete with a story, cutscenes, and unique character dialogue depending on who you brought to each mission - which could be played for character XP (ability tree unlocks), random gear loot (for use in either campaign mode or PVP), and character cosmetics. The 30 playable characters were wildly varied in terms of design and gameplay, and yes I have to point it out every time, Battleborn had both "cute tiny animal in a mech suit" and playable black women BEFORE Overwatch did. The game also featured a very impressive and highly slept-on visual aesthetic that felt like every Saturday Morning Cartoon I ever grew up with from the 80s/90s, featuring a wild blend of 3D and 2D animation that all the other hero PVP games WISH they could have matched.

And damn, dude. If you like Lore in your video games, there was a TON of material written for this one. And I'm not just talking about supplemental media like a comic or a wiki or an interview about cut content or whatever. I mean there was a metric FUCK TON of additional world-building material right there in the game. Each character came with a set of challenges you could complete which would give you the usual XP and money, but also unlocked a fun little tidbit of Lore about the universe. These came in the form of short stories, recorded conversations, email logs, forum posts, shipping manifests, and even fully voiced segments explaining details about each character, who they were, why they were fighting this war, and some fun little ways of explaining how their weapons or abilities worked. For example, Reyna holds her laser pistol on its side, gangster-style, because she wanted to use a very specific gun model, had its internal parts stripped out so she could use an ammo clip of a much stronger caliber than that model was supposed to be capable of, but in order for the chamber to reload correctly, the gun had to sit a bit cockeyed. And that fun little nugget is just sitting there, right in the game, for you to discover! It's fucking cool as hell!

Now I know you're itching to make a joke about there only being like 15 people who even played the game. Yes, I've seen the Active Player Steam charts meme. It's true, Battleborn had a very small, but also very dedicated, community. Despite that, there were so few people playing that we all ended up making friends with each other pretty quickly. It was one of the friendliest PVP communities I'd ever been a part of. We knew there weren't many people online, so we created an environment that felt comfortable for players new and veteran alike. Many of us are still friends today, outside of the game. Because there were so few people online, we also got to play regularly with Gearbox devs and game writers, and even one of the voice actors responsible for at least three of the game's characters (plus a few NPCs!). We organized and hosted our own events, got official backing from the devs for Double XP weekends, held art jams and hashtag celebrations. Hell, I even used my love of this game to jumpstart my serious foray into music by making an entire album of songs for its characters (complete with a bunch of commissioned fan art from the community)!

(art by Leaddybum)

So yeah. Rest in peace, Battleborn. You were ahead of your time and the hate and harassment you got from The Gamers was completely undeserved. I will always keep hope alive that you'll come back to us some day. Maybe as a sequel, maybe in a new format. There was so much more left to explore in that universe.

May our battle never end.