#it helps that there's not a ton of characters and also every character is memorable in some way so everyone has fans

[missionel]

it's kinda funny to me how punch out of all things has probably had the most welcoming fandom on tumblr (not in general but for me personally). out of everything out there, i didn't expect the game where a high schooler beats up adult men that could (and sometimes try to) kill him to havea fandom i felt so comfortable posting in, but here i am 😳 not trying to make a sappy post or anything, just an observation i had

[oklotea]

MY FAVORITE TINTIN SIDE CHARACTERS

ARRGRGWHDHEH I'M VERY VERY PROUD OF THIS I'M NGL!!!!!!! I LOVE THE WAY I COLORED THE CHARACTERS, I LOVE THE POSES I DREW THEM IN, I MADE SOME DECENT COMPOSITION IN THIS ONE!!!! HATE THE EDITING I DID I FUCKING SUCK AT EDITING

Anyway, I'm going to ramble about these guys and you can't leave until I'm done ok? Ok.

First of all, MY BOY MY SON MY PERSONAL LITTLE DEMON, ABDULLAH!!!!!!! he is very endearing to me!!! But I really do wish we could've seen more of him!!!! He looks mischievous enough to sneak on adventures along with the marlinspike crew himself for shits and giggles!!!!! HIM AND HIS DAD'S DYNAMIC IN LAND OF BLACK GOLD IS MY FAVORITE IT MAKES ME SO GIDDY AND HAPPY. like no matter how obnoxious and annoying Abdullah's pranks can become, his dad will forever love him unconditionally. MY FAVORITE DYNAMIC. I MISS THEM SO MUCH.

A little note, even though a lot of poc representation in tintin is pretty influenced by the stereotypes of the time, and a bit of orientalism, tintin and the land of black gold is also the first time in my childhood where the words "assalamualaikum" Was muttered in any piece of animated media. It definitely wasn't perfect, but that was important to me as a Muslim child. Maybe that's why Abdullah and his dad hold a special place in my heart!

Next up we've got ARREGEHFHFHHGHJ!!!!!!! CHANG!!!!!!! MY FRIEND FROM SCHOOL WHO HELPED END A CRIME RING IN SHANGHAI!!!!!!! I adore him and his personality so much!!!! HE WAS ONE OF MY FAVORITE CHARACTERS AS A KID AND HE STILL IS TODAY WHEN I REWATCH BLUE LOTUS!!!!!!!! The way that the moment he was saved by Tintin in that flood he pledged his undying loyalty to Tintin will never not be sweet to me. HE IS SO TALENTED AND CUNNING, HE SAVED TINTIN FROM CERTAIN DOOM MULTIPLE TIMES IN THE LITTLE TIME THEY'VE SPENT TOGETHER, AND IN TINTIN IN TIBET, TINTIN SAVES HIM ONCE AGAIN (Tintin in tibet is also a very memorable and special episode for me) AND JUST-- ARGEHDBEHF I CAN CONTINUE ON AND ON ABOUT HOW CHANG SHOULDVE BEEN INCLUDED IN MORE ADVENTURES!!!!! actually Tintin has TONS OF CHARACTERS who should have been given more important roles in a lot of different stories!!!! Idk maybe that's just a wish that will never be fulfilled.... Still I can dream!

And last but DEFINITELY not least... THE MILANESE NIGHTINGALE HERSELF, BIANCA CASTAFIORE!!!!!!!!!!!! AGHHDHEHFHJDHV MY GORGEOUS MY BEAUTIFUL MY LOVE MY EVERYTHING I MISS HER SO MUCH

SHE WAS A HIGHLIGHT FOR ME!!!!!! AND SHE IS VERY UNDERRATED!!!! I love seeing how much she treasures her friends, how she's so dramatic about everything, how she has such an unapologetically loud and large presence and personality everywhere she goes, how she is genuinely passionate about her singing and her art, how she clearly knows her worth and won't settle for less from anyone.

Every time she was on screen she always made me feel very happy and warm inside, also I really like her voice!!!!!

AND HER DESIGN!!!!! ARRRGHWHFHH HER DESIGN!!!

I'm ngl, she was the hardest for me to draw. But at the end I'm quite satisfied with the results!!!!

She would be such an amazing friend. SHE'S ALWAYS BRINGING GIFTS AND BEING CONSIDERATE WITH HER FRIENDS, AND SHE WOULD NEVER HIDE JUST HOW MUCH PEOPLE MEAN TO HER

PLEEEEASEEEE CASTAFIORE I MISS YOU SO MUCH GIRLFRIEND COME BACK TO ME-

Anyway, the last picture is how I'd imagine Chang and Castafiore's first meeting would go. She as always, acts as sweet and polite and extra af as she always does, let's Chang know that Tintin's talked a lot about him! And then she would bring out some biscuits and pastries she bought as a gift for everyone, and then she and Chang would sit together while eating, and they get along really well, CHANG HAS A WICKED SENSE OF HUMOR THAT CASTAFIORE CAN'T GET ENOUGH OF, (haddock would be completely dumbfounded with how good at talking to Castafiore Chang is, and how anyone could talk to her for so long) but little did haddock know, in their conversations, Castafiore does a whole lot more listening than speaking, especially when Chang starts to tell his back story, and all the things that have happened to him and Tintin. After Chang ends his story, he looks up at her after a while of being lost in his story, and mascara is dripping down her face silently, her mouth is agape, and for a few moments couldn't say anything.

Suddenly she burst out loud, pulled Chang into a hug, and sobs after listening to the horrors this sweet kid has gone through.

In over a few hours she seems to have grown a strong attachment to this kid, she'll probably send a package filled with gifts a few months later, along with a long letter talking about what she's been up to and her wishes that Chang will succeed with anything he's currently busy with, and that he shall take care of himself well.

Anyways, I hope you enjoyed the small character appreciation I was able to share for some obscure/underrated characters! And that they will occupy your mind just for a little while. I love these three so much, tintin shaped me as a person, tintin made my childhood, I hope you have a great day.

Click for better quality!!!!!!

[azullumi]

oooh if you're looking for requests I'd love to see some soft Kaveh fluff !!!! He's a huge cutie and I adore him <3

summary — but love is still love, no matter how small the gesture is, no matter how silent the moment is. affection and tenderness lingers behind every action and words spoken

characters — kaveh, tighnari, ayato (w/ gender neutral reader)

tags — fluff, established relationship; scenarios

words — 1100+

note — hii! here is your request though i mixed in other characters in it instead of having a separate post for it! ^^ i hope you don't mind. this is actually also part 2 of 'in simple moments, in small acts of love' <33 i hope you like it!

KAVEH

whispering and murmuring against your skin

“kaveh…” you murmured out his name and you couldn’t contain the smile on your lips, feeling ticklish with the way his breath is fanning against the skin of your neck while he murmurs a ton of affectionate words and sweet nothings. 

"you're so loveable…" laughter coarsed throughout the air as you feel his hands caress your waist up and down, him leaning down closer to you—you were situated on the seat as he stood in front of you, bent down to your level—feeling your warmth against his.

"so so beautiful…" his lips trails up from your neck to your jaw, tracing it and leaving kisses on the way, as it arrives on your face, peppering it with love.

"adorable…" you rest your hands against his chest, lightly pushing him away but your strength wasn't enough to even make him budge.

"did you know that i love you so much?" he whispered against your ear, his caress lingering a little while on the side of your face.

"hm? of course, i do."

you respond, confusion lacing your tone as you knitted your eyebrows for a moment before relaxing your features. you know even if he'll never tell you, you'll know. through his actions, with the way he makes you your favorite cup of drink every morning and has your favorites memorized in his head and through his words, the reassurance he gives you and how he never fails to say he loves you in every moment that he can, he tells you of his feelings.

"well, i don't think so." he doesn't think that your skin has heard enough of his confessions nor your ears have listened to every word of his affection and even if it did, he doesn't think it's enough. it has to be loud and clear enough for it to touch your soul and entangle in it, to see marks and traces of his love for you on your body.

he doesn't think you'll ever know how much he loves you. he doesn't think that everything that he has said and done for you is going to be enough to convey every inch of his affection and adoration for you.

TIGHNARI

looking after you when you're sick

"oh, you're awake." he spoke gently upon seeing you rouse up your slumber, trying to sit up your position and he immediately approached to help you. his hand felt cold against you but maybe it was because you have a fever right now and you are feeling warmer than average.

your head was pounding, your face was hot, and your body was feeling sluggish, although compared to your condition earlier before you slept, you were feeling much better. you weren't having a hard time breathing anymore nor your eyes were continuously welling up with tears because it felt like your insides were burning.

it was all because of tighnari who looked after you the whole time, not daring to leave your side even as you slept. he took special care of you, tending to your every being, to the every discomfort and pain that you felt and trying to lessen it.

"how are you feeling?" he asks you in a concerned tone, still holding your hand in his, as he lends you a glass of water to drink in case your throat is hurting and you accept it, taking the glass from his hand, and drinking from it, feeling the liquid soothe your throat from its painful roughness.

"are you feeling better now?" he raises yet another question and this time, you responded by nodding your head and he heaved out a sigh, one that released all of his worries about you that were plaguing and contaminating his mind.

you speak or more like whispered, calling out to him, "nari…"

"hm? what is it, dear?"

"thank you…" it took a lot of strength just to even speak and you were thankful that tighnari had sharp ears.

there was a pause and he smiled, his eyes soft and tender: "it's nothing, i just wish that you'll have a safe and fast recovery." 

he lifts his hand up, resting it against your forehead to try and feel your temperature, staring at your face to admire you—even at this weak state of yours.

“honestly, i wish i could kiss you right now but you’re sick.” he added, seemingly unwittingly as if he didn't think of the consequences of his words.

“oh, your temperature rose.”

KAMISATO AYATO

a hug after a long day of work

you stood at the courtyard of your home, admiring the scenery of the ocean before you as you watched the sun slowly go down and disappear from the horizon for the darkness of the moon to replace its light.

the moment itself was peaceful but you couldn't help feeling the loneliness creeping up on you even when there were servants—only a few—around you, accomplishing the responsibilities assigned to them. perhaps it was because you have no one to talk to or maybe you just want to see a certain someone who is currently busy with their own affairs and duties.

and it was as if the gods had peered down on you and granted your prayers, you felt a pair of strong arms wrap around your waist, hugging you from the behind and even with just the strong sophisticated scent of vanilla alone, you could tell who it was.

“hi sweetheart… i missed you so much.”

"ayato?" you called out, turning around to face him while keeping his embrace on you. you were greeted by the sweet smile plastered on his face and his loving gaze on you. exhaustion tarnished his expression and it was clear that he just came back from his work.

"yes, love?"

despite the fatigue that sullied his skin, he still looks so handsome and good-looking. you reached your hand out to stroke his cheek, trying to easen his expression and lessen the stress that he was feeling. 

"nothing, i missed you also."

you wish you could help him, to lessen his burdens, and everything but you can't. the only thing that you can do for him is to just comfort him with your touches and be there for him but he lets you know, he lets you know every single time how thankful he is to have you, to have your caresses console the languor of his being, and soothe his worries and problems away as if it never existed in the first place—just like the moment you two are sharing right now.

he pulls you closer to him, embracing you tightly as he buries his face on the crook where your shoulder meets your neck.

"let's stay like this for a while please."

© azullumi — do not plagiarize, copy, repost, nor translate any of my works.

[writingquestionsanswered]

Any advice to write your own quotes that is not so common?

Learning to Write Memorable/Quotable Prose

As readers, we know there are few things better than reading a quote that hits in all the right ways...

"The moon understands what it means to be human. Uncertain. Alone. Cratered by imperfections." —Tahereh Mafi, Shatter Me

“Brave doesn’t mean you’re not scared. It means you go on even though you’re scared.” —Angie Thomas, The Hate U Give

As writers, part of the dream is to be able to craft quotes that resonate with our readers like that... quotes that will be quoted... quotes that will be remembered.

Unfortunately, learning to write quotable prose isn't something you can do immediately just by following a few tips. It requires a few thing that take some time...

1 - A Fertile Mind - A big part of being able to write quotable prose is having a fertile mind... or in other words, giving your brain all the right elements it needs to be able to produce quotable prose. Here are some things you can do to encourage a fertile mind:

-- Filling Your Creative Well ensures that your brain is full of words, ideas, and imagery that will help you think up memorable quotes.

-- Improve your vocabulary by using a thesaurus (just make sure to cross-reference with a dictionary), subscribing to Merriam-Webster's Word of the Day e-mails, buying a "word of the day" desk calendar, using a reference like The Describer's Dictionary or the Random House Word Menu, and reading as much as you can--books, short stories, poetry, magazines, blog posts, song lyrics, anything you can get your hands on. Read through lists of vocabulary related to specific things, like geography, weather, architecture, travel, etc. Keep a journal of new words and their meanings as well as words that resonate with you.

-- Bring out your inner poet by reading poetry (there's a ton of poetry available for free online), reading song lyrics, and trying to write your own poetry.

-- Fill your mind with beautiful imagery by traveling... in person, if you can, but if you can't, YouTube makes it super easy to be an armchair traveler. There are countless beautiful videos of every place on Earth you could ever want to visit. There are travel documentaries, montages of beautiful scenery, walk-throughs, and tours. You can also go to a photo site like Pexels or Pixabay and type in random imagery terms like "mountains" or "starry night" and see what images come up. Save the ones that speak to you most in a pretty folder.

2 - Practice - Even with a full creative well and fertile mind, you're still not going to be able to instantly craft beautiful prose or memorable quotes. You still need to hone this skill through lots of practice. That's going to mean trying to craft beautiful prose and memorable quotes, which is going to mean writing a lot of not-so-great ones before they get better and better. Try looking at some of those pretty images you saved and see if you can write some pretty quotes about them. Look at the list of interesting vocabulary you saved and see if you can use any of it to craft a pretty quote. Take a pretty line of poetry or a evocative song lyric and try to craft it into a memorable quote. And more than anything else... just write your stories and always try to craft beautiful prose and memorable sentences. The more you try, the better you'll get.

3 - Have a story that merits pretty prose and memorable quotes - The truth of the matter is that even if you do everything listed above, you still won't be able to craft pretty prose and memorable quotes unless your story provides you the necessary raw materials. You need an engaging plot, compelling characters, interesting themes, quote-worthy imagery in plot elements and setting, and both characters and circumstances where memorable quotes make sense.

If you do all of these things, though, you'll be writing pretty prose and memorable quotes in no time! ♥

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

I’ve been writing seriously for over 30 years and love to share what I’ve learned. Have a writing question? My inbox is always open!

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[em-dash-press]

What Writers Need to Know About Personification

The term “literary devices” might seem super professional, but you’re likely already using tons of them in your stories. Let’s take a closer look at personification to better understand why it’s so helpful for both readers and writers.

What Is Personification?

You can spot personification by looking for non-human things that have human characteristics, like:

Emotions

Thoughts

Intentions

Although a teapot coming to life and singing a song might qualify, these characteristics are more subtle.

Personification is also a form of description. It makes stories more vivid and can pull at the emotional undertones of a scene. 

Examples of Personification in Literature

Shel Silverstein’s The Giving Tree

“Once there was a tree / And she loved a little boy.”

Trees obviously don’t have feelings because they don’t have brains. However, the reader forms an essential bond with this tree immediately after starting this story because we know the tree can love. It’s a relatable emotion.

Edgar Allan Poe’s The Tell-Tale Heart

“Death, in approaching him, had stalked with his black shadow before him, and enveloped the victim.”

Death is a thing that happens. It’s not a person. Poe gives it actionable human characteristics to set a creepy tone by giving Death legs that stalk its next victims. An actionable force is more intimidating than something that just happens.

L.M. Montgomery’s Anne of Green Gables

“Diana and I were only over in the Haunted Wood. It’s lovely in the woods now. All the little wood things—the ferns and the satin leaves and the crackerberries—have gone to sleep, just as if somebody had tucked them away until spring under a blanket of leaves.”

Picturing things like ferns and berries falling asleep creates a soothing emotional vibe. Because this also appears in dialogue, it’s clearly Character A trying to make Character B feel reassured and calm. 

Effects of Personification

We already use personification in real-world conversation, so we know its effects personally. We might say that the sun smiled down on us during a great day or the light on a lake danced across the rippling water.

Personification adds humor and lightness to scenes. It can also create suspense, like the Edgar Allan Poe example above. It lends more emotional weight so readers engage with whatever’s on the page. When used occasionally or sparingly, it’s an effective storytelling tool.

If you’re using personification in every paragraph, you’ll create a whimsical vibe that’s best for fairytale-type stories. Otherwise, readers could feel like your story is too wordy and doesn’t take itself seriously.

FAQs About Personification

What Are the Rules of Personification?

Personification uses a human-like verb to give a noun human traits. It can also give nouns human emotions or thoughts. As long as a non-human object or concept expresses a human action, thought, or feeling, personification can make stories more engaging.

What Does Personification Apply To?

Writers apply personification to non-human objects or ideas. You can make Death into a character with emotions or a house look exhausted from stress from the family tension within it.

What Are the Common Effects of Personification?

Personification gives life or relatability to objects or ideas that otherwise wouldn’t have a human experience.

Why Does Personification Matter?

Readers enjoy personification because it draws them into the story by making a character or scene element relatable. They form a personal, memorable connection with your story.

-----

Using personification may feel like it should be instinctive, but learning about it makes you a better writer. Think about it critically to study how it works and make it transform your WIPs.

[pendarling]

Hi! I was thinking of requesting for some promts please?

Hero + villain, BUT: the villain is reformed and joined the hero's team. But the villain is still learning how to be "good" and the hero is helping them. During this the villain is also slowly falls in love with the hero.

Is that ok for you?

Yes not a problem! Here’s a TON!

☆𝕽𝖊𝖋𝖔𝖗𝖒𝖊𝖉 Villain Prompts! ☆

Hero is demonstrating how to attack but Villain already memorized some of their moves from first-hand experience. Hero admits none of their moves is meant to actually hurt anyone, especially when they were fighting Villain in the past.

Hero is taking Villain to civilian areas for the first time while they’re in disguises. Villain is thrilled to experience normal buses, schools and buildings when they’re not destroyed. Hero is happy to see their real smile for the first time.

Once in a while Villain would reminisce on the times before they switched sides by visiting old sites they used to work in and explaining to Hero what they did regretfully

Hero introducing Villain to other heroes and they’re all eager to get as much information out of them so Hero has to protect Villain

When both characters are facing a challenging opponent but Villain is scared they’ll hurt somebody again.

When Villain learns that civilians like to make fan-pages for them and they’ve even got one of their own

Bonus if there is a huge debate online about whether Villain’s decision to switch sides was right or wrong.

Bigger bonuses if Villain goes online to debate but people call them out for being a “fake fan”

Even BIGGER bonus points if they’re already shipping Hero x Villain on the site widely.

Villain teaches Hero the easiest way to kill an opponent. Hero keeps having to explain they just need to arrest them and shows them how to do it by practicing on them… and now Hero has got them cuffed and under them so closely~

Villain slowly losing the ability to make snarky comments because they’ve realized Hero is a really good person. They start noticing that Hero’s quick comebacks have also decreased rapidly and instead become more flirtatious which leaves them flustered and blushing at every word.

Hero helps Villain pick out a new outfit to differentiate themselves from their past villainous crimes. Villain is embarrassed because apparently “everything looks good on them” as Hero stated

Villain keeps confessing their past crimes, worried that Hero will hate them. Hero promises they’ll never leave their side which leaves Villain imaging what more that sentence could’ve meant.

Hero decides to share their living space with Villain for some time to help them get adjusted after they’ve been kicked out from the other side. It’s very hard not to catch each other staring when they’re so close.

“It’s hard being good.” “You’re good enough for me.”

~~~

MASTERLIST

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Psycho Analysis: Freaky Fred

(WARNING! This analysis is... NAUGHTY!)

Hello dear reader, this is Fred.

You hear the words that are in his head.

To Courage the dog he is a threat,

because he’s very… naughty.

In Courage the Cowardly Dog, you see,

Fred appeared and definitely

left a mark on you and me

by being very... naughty.

So let's take a look at this creepy man,

and hopefully you'll understand

why this guy has garnered tons of fans

despite him being... naughty.

Motivation/Goals:

Fred’s a man of simple needs.

He wants to cut hair, indeed!

And his efforts would likely succeed

if he weren’t so… naughty.

He has a compulsion, you know.

He sees hair and it’s time to go!

And so he spends the\is episode of the show

being very naughty.

Performance: Paul Schoeffler is the man, you know!

He voiced Le Quack, Katz and Big Toe!

The Cajun Fox, Zalost, the Snowman, oh,

he played characters who were… naughty.

He was quite good at what he had to do,

even playing Dr. Vindaloo!

And he played our boy Fred, it’s true,

with a performance that was… quite naughty.

Final Fate: After shaving Courage’s hair,

the orderlies escort him out of there.

One could argue the ending’s unfair.

Fred was only… a little naughty.

Evilness: Is Fred evil? Who can say?

I certainly don’t see him that way.

Really, at the end of the day,

the worst you can call him is… naughty.

He shaves off hair against people’s will

because it gives him perverted thrills.

He doesn’t maim or harm or kill,

he’s genuinely just naughty.

So I suppose a 1.5/10’s the score.

I can’t really justify much more.

He’s not cruel or deadly to the core,

he’s a weird guy who’s naughty.

Best Quote: The opening lines of his sole appearance of course,

which he delivers with no remorse

as he outlines his action’s course

and explains that he is… NAUGHTY:

“Hello, new friend. My name is Fred.

The words you hear are in my head.

I say, I said my name is Fred,

and I've been... very naughty.”

Final Thoughts & Score: Alright, time to drop the rhyming act so I can actually really talk about Fred. And boy, is he ever interesting to talk about! Courage is really a cavalcade of amazing one-shot antagonists, but Fred is easily one of the best and most memorable.

A huge part of that is probably down to his single appearance being narrated from his point of view. He’s the rare Courage villain that gives us explicit insight to his thought process and why he does what he does, and what he does is… extremely strange and even suggestive. His compulsion is so strange and how he narrates it and refers to his actions really build him up to feel worse and creepier than he actually is. He’s not trying to hurt Courage in any way, he’s just trying to exercise his bizarre fetish like a G-rated Yoshikage Kira. There's a lot of ways you could read into this compulsion, but t really does make him stand out as a character due to how unique it is and how it's implemented into the story.

I think what also helps is Schoeffler giving one of his best performances on the show. Like yes, Katz and Le Quack are great, and Vindaloo is a funny meme man, but Fred is just a truly iconic character with such a bombastic and sophisticated narration that I really think he’s a contender for the best character the man played. On top of that we have a fantastic design, with his crazy hair and way-too-wide grin; literally every aspect of this guy is perfect.

But at the end of it all, you have to remember that Fred isn’t actually evil, no matter how much he seems to insist he is. At worst, he’s an anti-villain, and even then it’s in name only; the dude is just a freaky weirdo who looks like Betelgeuse and has a strange fetish he can’t help but act out on, and at worst his actions are annoying and inconvenient as opposed to horribly destructive or deadly. Like, oh no, your hair’s gone! It’ll grow back, whatever. He may be Sweeney Todd for kids, but this barber ain’t a demon; he’s just a fucking weirdo. And I love him for it.

A 9.5/10 is the score he gets,

A memorable antagonist, one of the best.

His narration will never leave your head,

and isn’t that just…

NAUGHTY?

[iturnintoabear]

What to do with Druidic

Druidic as a level 1 benefit is a bit of a let down for those who play Druids. It's just another language, in a game full of languages, with no special abilities or properties to it other than it can only be understood by other druids. Like Thieve's Cant, it only exists for role play flavor if the DM chooses to incorporate it, but at least Thieve's Cant has an obvious purpose in helping thieves to commit crimes and shield themselves from authorities. Druidic has no such given purpose, which is why it's hard to figure out what to do with it.

Some options didn't become apparent to me until I was trying to build a witch character and trying to find interesting things to do with spell components and potion ingredients. Then I started reading about who the druids were and the roles they played in Celtic society. Then it started making more sense.

Depending on who you ask, druids were the priests, philosophers, ethicists, material scientists, astronomers, and/or judges in their society. People went to them for advice and counsel, for legal proceedings and religious guidance. Their wisdom was kept secret because it was all oral tradition which had to be memorized. They might have even been forbidden to write down any information relating to their druidic orders. And from that, the options emerge:

Instructions and warnings to other druids about the plants and animal species who live nearby, what their uses are, if they're dangerous, and how to tame them

Directions on who to avoid in a given village as a problem person, a trouble maker, or a source of conflict

Indications if the government is corrupt, the people are oppressed, and who the source of that oppression is

Signs for navigating through and away from the population centers so they/other druids don't get lost or get bad directions from the locals. Also any interesting or useful stops off the main road that might prove interesting or useful.

How do you convey all that in a way that the uninitiated can't interact with it? What does it look like?

Thinking from a modern perspective and what I could see of ancient druids today, it would look like Ogham markings on rocks and stones. Just a bunch of lines that are totally meaningless unless you know how to read them. Then there are other ancient languages with fun elements to choose from, like hieroglyphics and pictorial glyph languages like Mayan that could be used to say a lot with very little if you understand the symbols.

That led me into thinking it would be really neat if every druid during their initiation received their own glyph that represents them, that they use whenever leaving this kind of information about a place. And when Druidic is visible to other druids, this is what it means. They see and understand the glyph symbology and can gather a ton of information from it that other people can't see.

The more I think about this, the more I want to use this in my current campaign, which has two druids in it. I think they both would really enjoy making their own glyphs and leaving them in places.

[honoka-marierose]

SUMMARY

▪️Sega Genesis delivered vibrant graphics and memorable games, including the action-packed Revenge of Shinobi in 1989.

▪️Featuring ninjas, cyborgs, and demons, Shinobi showcased the Genesis power with challenging gameplay and iconic characters.

▪️ Unauthorized appearances of Spider-Man, Batman, Rambo, Terminator, and Godzilla added unexpected fun to Shinobi , with revisions later made.

When it came to bringing hard-hitting arcade action to players' homes in the 80s, few consoles delivered the way the Sega Genesis did. With 16 bits of power displaying vibrant graphics, bass-boosted music courtesy of the Yamaha YM2612 sound chip, and an impressive library of games, the Genesis was a gaming force to be reckoned with. Not only did the Genesis deliver tons of licensed games straight into players' hands, but it also brought many of Sega’s own arcade hits home, too. From Golden Axe to Streets of Rage, Sonic the Hedgehog to Altered Beast, the Sega Genesis was simply stacked with blockbuster hits.

Chief among these series was Shinobi, a series of action platformers that helped define the Genesis as an action game powerhouse. Ninjas, cyborgs, demons, and more exploded off screens, demanding zenlike skills to master and survive. So, when players got hold of 1989’s The Revenge of Shinobi, a direct sequel to the original 1987 arcade title, it seemed like a dream come true when they discovered that Marvel’s Spider-Man and DC’s Batman were included in the game, as well. The problem with that, however, was that they (among other licensed characters) weren’t supposed to be in the game at all and were, in fact, very much unauthorized in their appearances.

Sega's Shinobi Is Classic Arcade Ninja Action From Beginning To End

Every Game in the Shinobi Series:

Title: Shinobi

Platform: Arcade

Year Release: 1983

Title: The Revenge of Shinobi

Platform: Genesis

Year Release: 1989

Title: Shadow Dancer: The Secret of Shinobi

Platform: Arcade/Genesis

Year Release: 1989

Title: The Cyber Shinobi

Platform: Master System

Year Release: 1990

Title: The G. G. Shinobi

Platform: Game Gear

Year Release: 1991

Title: The G. G. Shinobi II: The Silent Fury

Platform: Game Gear

Year Release: 1992

Title: Shinobi III: Return of the Master Ninja

Platform: Genesis

Year Release: 1993

Title: Shinobi Legions

Platform: Sega Saturn

Year Release: 1995

Title: Shinobi

Platform: PS2

Year Release: 2002

Title: Nightshade

Platform: PS2

Year Release: 2003

Title: Shinobi 3D

Platform: 3DS

Year Release: 2011

Sega’s Shinobi is one of the company’s longest-running and most beloved series of all time. Debuting in 1987, the very first Shinobi game was an arcade-only adventure that put players in the shoes of Joe Musashi, a ninja dedicated to defeating the evil Zeed organization. Blending precision platforming with plenty of action, Shinobi was a tremendously challenging but incredibly popular hit. Two years later, Shinobi received two different sequels, 1989’s Shadow Dancer: The Secret of Shinobi and The Revenge of Shinobi. While Shadow Dancer starred an enigmatic unnamed ninja and his faithful canine companion, The Revenge of Shinobi served as a direct sequel to the original arcade game.

Joe Mushashi took up his blade once again to battle the evil Zeed organization, now known as Neo Zeed. To make matters worse, Neo Zeed kidnapped Joe’s bride, Naoko. Fueled by the lethal combination of duty and vengeance, Joe embarked on a truly harrowing quest to save the world and his bride. The Revenge of Shinobi is often considered to be one of the best action titles on the Genesis and for good reason.

Armed with kunai and devastatingly powerful Ninjutsu spells, Joe battled his way through multiple cities across the world, military bases, and Neo Zeed’s mazelike base. With stellar graphics and gameplay, plus an unforgettable soundtrack thanks to the legendary Yuzo Koshiro, The Revenge of Shinobi still stands as a Genesis classic. With such a stacked legacy to its name and an immense pedigree behind it, it only becomes even stranger to see the likes of Spider-Man and Batman randomly appear in the game.

Marvel's Spider-Man And DC's Batman Make Prominent, But Completely Unofficial Appearances

Despite being two of the most famous superheroes of all time, Spider-Man and Batman do not occur as heroes in The Revenge of Shinobi. Instead, the two heroes are actually enemies that Joe Musashi must battle. Specifically, Spider-Man and Batman can be found as the bosses for the sixth level, Chinatown. The battle begins with Spider-Man crawling across the ceiling, shooting webs at Joe. When enough damage is dealt to Spider-Man, he transforms into Batman, who proceeds to fly around and swoop at Joe.

On one hand, it’s an incredibly cool moment to randomly discover the two superheroes in the very last place anyone would expect to see them. On the other hand, it’s a moment that raises the massive question of why the two heroes made their random appearance in a Shinobi game of all places. The answer, very simply, was a lack of communication.

The director of The Revenge of Shinobi, Noriyoshi Ohba, designed the Genesis game to be the ultimate showcase of the console’s hardware capabilities. During development, he sketched a number of enemies he wanted to incorporate into the game. When he handed them to the game’s character designer, Ohba thought his sketches would be modified enough that his obvious depictions of Spider-Man and Batman would be altered. Unfortunately, they weren’t, and the two famous superheroes found themselves thrust into the world of Shinobi. The inclusion of these characters wasn’t intended to be a brazen act of copyright infringement or laziness, but simply due to a little miscommunication between developers. Ultimately, their presence made an already fantastic game even more memorable.

As If Spider-Man And Batman Weren't Enough, Rambo, The Terminator, And Even Godzilla Make Cameo's As Well

Now, as if seeing Spider-Man and Batman in the game wasn’t cool enough, fans were treated to three more completely random licensed characters in The Revenge of Shinobi. The first of these surprise characters can be found in the third level, The Military Base. As Joe battles his way through waves of fierce armed resistance, he encounters an enemy that looks remarkably similar to a popular 80s action hero. With dark military pants, a black tank top, and an iconic red bandanna, Joe found himself face-to-face with Sylvester Stallone’s classic character, John Rambo.

The next character players must battle against is the boss of the fourth level, Detroit. A sinister humanoid robot attacks Joe, a robot that looks incredibly similar to Arnold Schwarzenegger's terrifying future assassin, the Terminator. As 1984's The Terminator and 1985’s Rambo: First Blood Part 2 were cultural phenomenons upon their release, it's easy to see why Ohba would quickly sketch characters that so closely resembled the action stars. But it's the final cameo that is the most obvious and one that is impossible to miss. The seventh and penultimate level in the game, New York, places Joe atop multiple boats.

After battling his way into the Neo Zeed container ship, Joe comes face to face with none other than the mighty kaiju himself, Godzilla. There is absolutely no way any player can miss the reference as to who and what Godzilla is in the game. As the end-stage boss, Godzilla attacks with his iconic breath (though it's flames and not his usual radioactive breath). Why and how Neo Zeed managed to capture and sneak Godzilla onto a container ship will always remain a mystery, but it definitely serves as one of the most memorable moments in the entire game.

The Revenge Of Shinobi's Licensed Cameos Could Never Happen Today But Are Still Really Cool And Memorable Accidents

As none of the special cameo characters were ever meant to actually be in The Revenge of Shinobi, four more versions of the game were released to rectify the accidental inclusions. In 1989, Software Revision 1.00 was released that altered enemy colors and specifically explained that Spider-Man and Batman were actually an enemy known as “Metamorpher.” Software Revision 1.01, also in 1989, officially includes Spider-Man in the game, though Batman becomes a generic winged demon monster with Rambo losing his hair, as well. 1990’s Software Revision 1.02 added a new copyright screen to include the license for Spider-Man. 1990’s Software Revision 1.03 changes Godzilla into a giant skeletal robot dinosaur.

2009 and 2012’s Software Revision 1.04 removed the license for Spider-Man and instead dressed him in a pink palette swap. This final revision also alters Joe’s face on the title screen to no longer resemble the actor Sonny Chiba from his role in the TV show Shadow Warriors. Nowadays, it would be impossible for such accidental character inclusions to ever happen in a video game. The legal fallout alone is a deterrent of the highest order to ensure that these kinds of mistakes don’t happen. And if they do happen, a single patch is all that’s needed to rectify the issue instantly and permanently.

Even though multiple reworked versions of the game were subsequently released, there are still physical copies of The Revenge of Shinobi that have the original unaltered characters. The Shinobi series is still alive today with a brand-new entry announced by Sega in the works. Fans shouldn’t hold their breath at the possibility of seeing Joe Musashi fight Godzilla or Batman again, but it’s amazing that one of Sega’s OG arcade franchises is still going strong. For Sega fans who have never played Shinobi before, tracking down a copy of Revenge of Shinobi is a must (even if Spider-Man and Batman might not be in it.)

[indulgentandidiotic]

Every Little Thing He Does (Deuce Spade)

Warnings: This was written as a gift to a friend, so it lists the reader's favorite dessert as Tandy Cake. I do not wish to rewrite that part. GN Reader

.~

Deuce Spade loves you wholeheartedly. There are no reservations, no strings, no hidden colors. To you, he gives his whole heart and all the love he’s ever known.

.~

When you struggle in class, he tries to help you understand it. Even when he is having more trouble understanding it than you, he does his best. If you didn’t know any better, you might even think he was studying harder in class just to be able to help you with your own work. –Math may be the bane of his existence, but he’ll pull all-nighters just so he can be able to help you understand that one question!

He takes you on blastcycle rides throughout the city surrounding NRC. Sometimes he even takes you on those fancy and breathtaking biking trails that are way up in the mountains. Deuce tells you these trips are just to show you the pretty scenery, but some small part of him also just likes to feel your body close to him as you hang on for dear life behind him. And if you’re afraid of riding such a fast and wobbly vehicle, don’t you worry! Deuce may or may not have spent a whole month learning a spell to make his blastcycle more stable as he rides slower around the streets and trails.

He gifts you handmade food! :D – He may shed a tear when he cracks eggs for batter, but he’s willing to pull through if it means putting a smile on your face! The other Heartslabyul students look at him weird when he’s sniffling and praying as he cracks eggs in a destroyed kitchen, but he doesn’t care. And you may think he forgot your favorite dessert that you mentioned only once on the first day of school at 8am, but he remembered. A whole Tandy Cake with a gallon of chocolate glaze on top just for you. A little burnt, but made with a ton of love.

He spends every second with you trying to make you happy. You’re such a good friend–hell, maybe he wishes you two were even more than that– and you deserve to be happy. Deuce may not know the best methods to make your heart skip a beat, but he’ll make as many corny jokes as you desire! He’ll fix up any appliances in Ramshackle that are broken, he’ll help you clean your failed potion experiment, and he’ll even buy you your favorite dish from the NRC lunch menu!

His love for you manifests in many ways, but above all, in how he listens to you. He’s truly engaged in every word that falls from your lips. Passionate is his nature, and he pours all of that energy into researching your interests and making conversation with you. Deuce may not be into everything you’re into, but he makes an effort. Besides, seeing the twinkle in your eyes as you gush about this new show you just watched, only to have your smile widen even more when he makes questions and comments, is well worth the hours spent memorizing each character profile and learning the symbolism of the opening theme.

And vice versa, Deuce spills to you about every hobby and love of his. He trusts you fully, and he knows you would never truly make fun of his interests. Because you are you and you are perfect, Deuce does his best to relate his hobbies to you. He knows you may not be interested or knowledgeable about the topic, so he does his best to make it interesting for you. 

Sometimes, he’s running during Track or picking up groceries, and Deuce sees something that reminds you of him. It may be a simple thing, like a dandelion or a keychain, but he keeps that trinket safe as possible until he can get it into your hands. It’s sweet how he could be doing almost anything and see or think something that reminds him of you.

It’s easy to see. Deuce is smitten. And you’re the one who’s caught his eye.

[frasier-crane-style]

Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny

Might as well give this a shot. I'll liveblog at half an hour intervals, starting with the opening.

-It's not all bad, but it's pretty clear the magic is gone. Deaged Indy always lands somewhere between a Tintin character and that bit in Skyfall where Daniel Craig's head was pasted onto a stuntman's body. It doesn't help that the director tries to cover for the CGI by drowning the sequence in murky darkness.

-There's also a bad start-and-stop quality to the action that keeps it from ever seeming to kick into high gear. There'll be a brief burst of action, then Indy sneaks around for a bit, brief burst of action, EXPOSITION DUMP, Indy sneaking around a bit. So it doesn't feel like things are escalating, more like you're playing MGS and you manage to hide for thirty seconds so the alert is canceled and you go back to just wandering around. There's even a part where the guards pull an alarm and it only sounds in one part of the train--Indy's able to just mosey along through another boxcar. What's the point of that alarm? To tell everyone in a ten-foot radius that there's trouble?

-Credit, they actually come up with some good set-ups in this... Indy hotwires a car that is immediately boarded by Nazi higher-ups who think he's their driver and Indy is about to be hung when an Allied bomb lands in the middle of the room to take things from bad to worse (missed opportunity: he should've been standing on the stool when the bomb hits, taking out the floor, so he goes from out of the frying pan into the fire instead of from being strangled to being strangled). The problem is the pay-offs just aren't there. Indy doesn't come up with a clever way out of his problems, he just gets lucky. Hell, I'd settle for a decent quip like "No ticket!"

-Indy gets lucky so many times in this, to the point where you might think it's a superpower a la Longshot. Let's count 'em off.

The bomb kills all the Nazis who are hanging him.

The beam that he's being hung from breaks.

An AA gun on the train is hit by a bomb and goes haywire, taking out all the Nazis pursuing Indy.

Voller is knocked off the train by a signal post thing when he has Indy dead to rights.

A bomb knocks out the train track, crashing the treasure train in a way that leaves all the artifacts intact.

Indy does nothing to affect the outcome of any of these, he just has plot armor an inch thick.

-I know the opening of an Indy movie is a bit early for the supernatural to kick in, but there's a weird bit where the Nazis are after the Lance of Longinus, but it's both powerless and a fake. These are our antagonists? Indy could've stayed home and it would've changed nothing.

-And you have to compare this to the opening of Last Crusade, which was real people on a real set doing real stuff, as opposed to this, which is a CGI effect on a soundstage, not doing anything as memorable or original as River Phoenix did.

Speaking of good set-ups, you're saying this is a train full of looted historical treasures... why not have every train car have some crazy artifact inside it that complicates things? Like Indy runs through a boxcar and it's full of Greek statues and he has to avoid getting crushed by them and he knocks one over to squash a Nazi and one falls over and it breaks through the wall and he uses that in some way? Wouldn't that be tons of fun?

But this is just anemic 'running from the top of one boxcar to another boxcar' stuff. All the advances in special effects technology since Last Crusade came out and yet there's way less spectacle. Even the train derailing at the end is an anticlimax.

[memoire1994]

YOUJI icon :3 Not entirely related but have you played +R? I’ve been trying it out for a few weeks and I’m absolute shit and ass, although Zappa is a ton of fun

heheheyes ilove youji…..♡And yes ihave played quite a lot of +R ! I love it, though most of my time spent playing it has been in the story modes and arcade TBH. Im kind of half decent at it bcs i have spent many hours with bloodshot eyes gripping my controller memorizing abas moveset (i suck at every fighting game). It is alot of fun. but i do understand the difficulty absolutely… and Zappa i agree is a ton of fun, hes a really unique character both in concept & in the gameplay…! It is cliche but i do think that just practicing at it alot will help u get better at it, i seriously suck at fighting games just in general and i cannot remember combos for my life but focusing only on one character really helps & has helped me become Somewhat confident that i can actually play the game well lol! Unsure where i was headed with this (as i tend to be) but…! Also once again lovely bedman icon. Very cute

[gayemeralds]

So, thoughts on Chris Thorndyke? I've seen a ton of people see him as the worst thing about Sonic X with a small minority even using him as a reason to dislike Sonic X with Tom and Maddie being preferred over him?

im going to be honest i don't mind chris thorndyke. in my ideal world sonic x wouldn't have needed him, because I hate the whole two worlds thing- the story should have just focused on sonic and not all the new original characters. ideally it would have been an adaptation that fleshed out events in games (especially classic games, where theres' not much of an established story) and relationships between characters. i complain about the human characters a lot with the movies but im not super fond about it for sonic x, either.

the thing about sonic x, however, is that all of their human characters are at least a little bit zany. tanaka and ella and chuck and topaz are likeable and memorable characters because they're fucking weird. they're fun. the sonic movies sort of treat maddie and tom as "average" people and they become boring in comparison to the extraordinary. especially since the sonic movies don't have the benefit of a LOT of time like sonic x does. sonic x can afford a few human focused episodes because they have like twenty more to go through. the sonic movies have a max of like two hours to balance the plot and the characters. maddie and tom aren't as interesting in comparison to the plot or the mobian characters.

also, people rag on chris a lot, but i think that's mostly because they don't engage with his character. he's a child who's neglected by his well meaning but busy parents. he makes a real, genuine connection with sonic, after spending a lot of time feeling isolated, and of course he's going to be upset when he has to lose his best friend. he's literally twelve years old! he's going to be emotional and reckless because he's genuinely immature. and i think that makes him compelling, too- he's a three dimensional character. he wants to be a good kid but he's going to make brash and selfish mistakes.

he's not my favourite character, mainly because i don't care for the rich character archetype, but i am not fond of people trashing on chris just to turn around and praise tom. like every criticism people have for chris can easily be turned on tom. "chris steals the spotlight from other sonic characters!" who do you think was the main character in sonic 1 because it sure as hell wasn't sonic. "chris was selfish for not letting sonic go home!" well first of all he DID let him go home. its a similar situation to elise from 06- they know what they have to do, and they will, but it's HARD. tom was selfish for endangering sonic and then initially wanting nothing to do with him. "chris is mean to helen." tom is mean to rachel and crazy carl.

i don't think chris was the best way to go about sonic x, but i definitely like him better than tom. at least when he's a dick he has the excuse of being literally 12 years old. but i do think giving sonic a younger kid as a companion was a wise choice on sonic x's part- it matches the storybook series, when sonic gets transported to a new world and helps a person with their issues while saving the world. it feels weird with tom and maddie, especially since they're forcing this nuclear family dynamic with him.

anyway tldr: chris is fine for the story sonic x wanted to tell with the two worlds theory. sonic movies missed out on giving sonic a human companion closer to his age instead of the weird family thing they're pushing.

[minijenn]

Jen Tortures Herself With Every Dreamworks Animated Movie Ever: Abominable

Wow I can't believe Dreamworks made their own version of Up but without the Dead Wife and Flying House and with a Yeti instead of a colorful bird

Anyway, this movie was kind of a mystery to me going in, because I swear to god I've never heard anyone ever talk about this, so I had no idea what to expect out of it. As for what I got, well... it was... actually pretty ok! So let's get into it.

After the death of her father, teenager Yi has grown distant from her family and her friends, Jin and his younger cousin Peng. That is, until she happens upon an escaped yeti, eventually named Everest, after she decides to help the creature get back to his home on Mount Everest, roping Peng and Jin along for the trip. All the while, they're being chased by the wealthy collector Mr. Burnish and zoologist Dr. Zara, who are determined to recapture the yeti and put it on display.

So yeah, a pretty simple "get mysterious creature back to where they belong" plot that we've seen in plenty of other movies in the past. The movie does kind of fumble over more than a few cliches when it comes to that plot, and the characters, for the most part, are a bit too simple and one-note for my liking. The tone is also a little strange, with some weird humor mixed in with often heavy-handed attempts at whimsy and drama. The pacing is also kind of strange? I don't know how to explain it but something is... off about the way this film presents its story and I can't... seem to articulate why.

As for the characters, like I said, they're all pretty simple. I feel like Yi is a little confusing and doesn't really have a clear character arc? Like she just decides to help Everest almost immediately after meeting him? Like literally just travel across China on a whim??? What? I get she's an impulsive teenager but still, bruh, that's just wacky. Peng is your typical hyperactive kid character, and he grated on the nerves a handful of times. Out of our main human trio, I think Jin is the best, he's a pretty funny character who goes through an actual arc, starting off as a tech-obsessed stick in the mud before learning to enjoy the journey alongside the others. Everest is also just... your typical cute creature cliche? He doesn't have a ton in the way of a personality and he has these powers that are kind of just... whatever the plot needs them to be? Like deus-ex-machina yeti fr fr out here.

Our villians are... surprisingly interesting! We start off thinking Mr. Burnish is our greedy big bad capitalist when, surprise! Dr. Zara actually is instead and I love her cause she goes from zero to 100 so fast and yeah, she's a twist villian cliche but I don't care because she kind of a baddie there I said it.

As for presentation, this movie is honestly gorgeous. Like seriously, it is so damn pretty to look at. The set pieces are so vibrant and colorful and the scale of them is awe-inspiring. The character designs felt kind of weird to me at first, burt I grew used to them as the film went along, and they're animated very nicely. There's a lot of scenes in this movie that were clearly just Dreamworks flexing, and you know what? I'm not gonna fault them for it. They're beautiful.

Something else that's beautiful about this movie is its score. Yi plays the violin and that actually becomes a major plot point throughout the film and every time she picks that instrument up, we get some truly soulful, beautiful pieces. This soundtrack is nowhere near as memorable as something like HTTYD's but its still absolutely lovely in its own right, I think.

So yeah, Abominable was one of the more surprising movies of the Dreamworks watch. I kept forgetting I would even have to eventually watch it until now, but I think, for what it is, it's ok. I wouldn't call it great, but I wouldn't call it terrible either. It's a perfectly servicable film about a bunch of kids and a yeti going on a cross-country adventure. And sometimes, that's all ya need.

Overall Rating: 6/10

Verdict: Evil Unetical Scientists Can Be Hot Sometimes, Actually

Previous Review (How to Train Your Dragon: The Hidden World)

Next Review (Trolls World Tour)

[spaceorphanssecondbreakfastclub]

Reading Agatha Christie: 4:50 From Paddington

Maybe ten-ish years ago, they redid the covers for all of Christie's books - and I liked them enough that I went out and purchased every single one so they look, stylistically, the same. I am a little disappointed in this one, though, it's perhaps too simple. Not on par with nearly every other book. Interestingly, though, they redesigned the Marple books, and now they all look... bleh, so I will take this edition.

We have another Miss Marple book! Which... I'm glad I've been enjoying them more upon reread, because I didn't find them that interesting when I was younger. Maybe there are some things that just work better when you're older. Anyway... I did like this book! I didn't love it, it's not a favorite, and there are some writing issues in it, but I did enjoy my time reading it.

The premise is really very catching. One of Miss Marple's friends is on a train when she sees - in a train going on along side her - someone murder a woman. It's kind of crazy and wild, and no one believes Mrs McGillicuddy saw anything, so she and Miss Marple try to figure out if it was even a possible thing and what could have happened. The first part of the book really moves as they try to figured it out, which is a lot of fun, and different from Christie's usual set ups.

Once the dead body is found, however, things slow down and kind of start rolling in Christie's usual style. The body ends up at Rutherford Hall where a patriarch of the Crackenthorpe family lives and things descend into Christie's usual fare of a somewhat wealthy family with a ton of problems.

There are a lot of characters and most of them aren't all that memorable because a lot of them are stock characters that Christie has used time and time again. But standing out is Lucy Eyelesbarrow, whom Miss Marple has go to work at the estate as help so she can sleuth her way into figuring out what is going on. She seems to be a middle aged version of those plucky heroines that Christie used to use in her thrillers back in the day.

The character work is fine, but the biggest issue of the book is that there are no real clues and you can't really figure anything out. The ending has an interesting twist to it, sure, but there's no way anyone is getting there based on the text. It's also, maybe, a good fifty pages too long -- in that I was just ready to get there already.

How Miss Marple tricks the murderer, though, is kind of entertaining, and even if the ending isn't as satisfying as it could be (and there are a few ambiguous loose ends - which is a new trend in Christie these days) at least Miss Marple is rather solid in the book.

Like I said above, I liked it, but didn't love it. It was a nice read, but doesn't stick with me the way a lot of the good Christies do.

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Psycho Analysis: Sideshow Bob

(WARNING! This analysis contains SPOILERS!)

For over thirty years now The Simpsons has provided the world with all manner of wacky shenanigans.  And when it comes to cartoons, what better way to cause shenanigans than by having a villain show up to wreak havoc? Most often the villain is the decrepit billionaire Mr. Burns, but sometimes you get a hilarious and memorable one-shot character like the affably evil Hank Scorpio. But in the middle, between being a major member of the cast and being a guest character, there is one man: Sideshow Bob.

The man with the palm tree hair and multiple attempted murders under his belt has cemented himself as one of the most iconic antagonists in television history as he seeks vengeance against Bart Simpson for thwarting his original scheme to get Krusty the clown arrested. With a little over a dozen major appearances across the history of the series and zero successes to his name, he is very much the Wile E. Coyote to Bart’s Roadrunner, and it’s typically as funny as that sounds.

But as we all know, many characters on the show have suffered the curse of flanderization, where key parts of their initial personality are magnified until that’s all they’re about, so named because fellow character Ned Flanders had his religious beliefs cranked up to 11 as time went on. The same could be said about Bob, with his desire to kill Bart overriding any sort of closure he receives at the end of every episode… But does this diminish his quality as a villain?

Motivation/Goals: Fitting for an animated sitcom, Bob’s motivations aren’t the most complex in the world. In his first appearance, he merely wanted to frame Krusty to take over his show and turn it into something more high brow, but after Bart helped thwart his schemes his new goal became to murder Bart, and that’s mainly what he’s stuck with. “Sideshow Bob’s Last Gleaming” and “The Day of the Jackanapes” mix things up a bit by having him target Krusty as well, but Bart dying is something that would have inevitably come to fruition if he’d succeeded.

Frankly, this just makes Bob even funnier as a character. This dude has beef with literal fucking children and despite being a genius he literally never wins. He truly is the perfect second banana to a clown, always suffering for the gag while never getting the limelight he feels he deserves.

Performance: Perhaps the single thing that makes Bob stand out is that he has always, in every appearance, been voiced by none other than Kelsey Grammer, AKA Frasier Crane from Cheers and Frasier (Or Beast from X-Men: The Last Stand). I think it’s pretty obvious he kills it as Bob, bringing just the right air of menace and class to have Bob be seen as a legitimate threat while also being able to deliver some great jokes. Also, he gets to sing quite a bit, which is always a treat.

Final Fate: Every single time he appears, Bob is inevitably thwarted and sent to jail, usually worse off than when he started the episode. There are a few unique examples where Bob gets it a bit  worse than usual; “Brother From Another Series” has Bob save the day but then get arrested anyway because Wiggum is a fucking idiot, while “Funeral for a Fiend” features him going completely insane.

Best Episode: It does not matter how much time has passed, “Cape Feare” will always remain the #1 greatest appearance of Sideshow Bob. It has it all: Movie references, musical numbers, murderous plots, and classic gags! And speaking of gags, the episode contains one of the single funniest gags Bob has ever been a part of.

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Coming in at a close second would be “Sideshow Bob Roberts,” where Bob rigs an election. The entire episode really shows just how little conservatives have changed over nearly 30 years; the episode aired on October 9, 1994, and its jabs at the right wing are as timeless as ever. It also helps that the episode is a riot, with tons of good gags. “Krusty Gets Busted,” “Black Widower,” “Brother from Another Series,” “The Day of the Jackanapes,” “The Great Louse Detective,” and “The Bob Next Door”  are all solid entries as well, and feature Bob at his most cunning, though they’re always gonna be in the shadow of “Cape Feare” (and “Sideshow Bob Roberts” to a lesser extent).

Best Quote: It’s gotta be this one, if only for the sheer absurdity of how posh Bob makes catcalling sound:

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Final Thoughts & Score: Previously I compared Bob to fellow animated antagonist Denzel Crocker, in the sense they both became increasingly flanderized and their roles began to make less and less sense as time went on with the show, with Bob’s murderous impulses never going away even when there’s plenty of reason that they should. Both “Brother From Another Series” and “Day of the Jackanapes” give pretty nice end points for Bob’s arc; the former, if they had cut out the mean-spirited ending, would have had Bob redeemed and finally given him a bit of peace, and the latter has him actually reconciling with Krusty (and getting the death penalty). But they continued to bring him back, with “The Great Louse Detective” also giving a great end point for Bob, complete with a musical number! But then he’s back for “The Italian Bob,” the worst of his appearances, which then ties into his next appearance in “Funeral for a Fiend,” which also gives us a nice stopping point. But no, he keeps coming back with the same goals each and every time: Kill Bart (or sometimes Krusty).

But the thing with Bob compared to Crocker is that while the latter shows up a lot in his series to the point he’s a main antagonist, Bob is used extremely sparingly. He has 15 major appearances over the course of The Simpsons run, with one of those being a “Treehouse of Horror” segment and some of those appearances happening several seasons apart. The lack of oversaturation helps make the flanderization sting a bit less; sure, he’s always sliding back into the same old evil routines, but he doesn’t show up enough where it becomes completely stale. Some of his later appearances end up being a bit less impressive than earlier ones, but he’s still enjoyable enough that none of his episodes are downright awful.

A lot of this is thanks to Kelsey Grammer’s voice work. He’s really a perfect fit for this egotistical, classy attempted murderer, and considering Grammer’s a decently big name thanks to Cheers and Frasier, it’s probably not without reason they use him sparingly. Still, I think what ultimately keeps Bob great compared to a lot of other cartoon villains is that he’s just such a ridiculous concept that it’s hard for him to not end up being fun whenever he appears. This is a former sidekick to a TV clown who wants to murder a small child, he has a long-standing rivalry with rakes, and he enjoys singing opera. He has stolen a nuke, stolen someone’s face, rigged an election, and attempted to assassinate a clown by hypnotizing a child and rigging him with explosives. His schemes are wacky, convoluted, and cartoonish, but Grammer’s performance will convince you that these actions are the most brilliant a criminal could conceive of.

Has Bob lost a little bit of luster over the years? Sure. But much like the show he’s part of, writing him off completely because of a few weaker showings is a bit disingenuous. Bob’s a high 9.5/10, leaning a bit more towards the 10, and maybe they’d get there if they could commit to giving him a proper ending. But hey, even if they never do, I’m not gonna complain when I hear Grammer drop a “Hello, Bart” for the fiftieth time right before Bob steps on a rake.