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on-maars · 3 years

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Kaleidoscope

Another buddie fic cause I can’t get enough of these two dumb idiots.

Read it on AO3.

Eddie’s first thought is that he’s been buried alive. He moves his hands to the side but his knuckles hit the wood and that’s when he realizes he must be trapped in some kind of box. He tries to scream but the air around him is so thick and the sound of his voice is swallowed by the darkness surrounding him at all sides.

His heart beats hard against his chest, so hard Eddie feels like it will break through his rib-cage. His eyes shuttle back and forth, scanning his surroundings and trying to adjust to the dark. He kicks the wood again and again but the material doesn’t give way and his breathing becomes labored as sweat starts falling down his forehead.

He strikes the wood above his head and doesn’t stop until he can feel the material cracks under his fingers. Only then he uses his elbow and continues hitting until the whole thing breaks and he’s buried in sand.

Eddie closes his eyes and the next thing he knows he’s back in Afghanistan. He watches his friends die and he wants to reach forward, wants to get them out of harm’s way but that’s when the bullet hits him and pain radiates through his shoulder and he falls.

“ Firefighter is down! I repeat, firefighter is down!” He hears a voice shouting. Because he’s not in Afghanistan anymore. He’s in LA. In broad daylight.

And his lungs are filled with water.

Is he drowning?

“ Eddie! Eddie!”

It’s Buck’s voice, screaming his name over and over again, so loud it makes Eddie cry.

He tries to reach out to him but his hand slips and he loses him. The last thing Eddie sees is the bloodied face of his best-friend disappearing into the water.

Eddie wakes up with a start, gasping for air. His entire body is drenched in sweat, his hair sticking to his forehead and his heart pounding against his chest like a hammer. He runs his shaking hands through his hair and closes his eyes fiercely, trying to get rid of all these images invading his mind.

“You okay?” Bobby asks and Eddie jumps with surprise. His captain is leaning against the wall and watches him with a concerned expression plastered all over his face, his eyes shuttling back and forth as if performing an internal scan of Eddie’s mind.

“I’m fine.” He says, shakily. “Just another nightmare. But I’ll be alright, cap.”

It’s a lie. An easy lie. Eddie knows it. The kind of lies he has to tell to try and maintain a somehow strong image among the 118, the kind of lies he has to tell over and over again in the hope that, with time, he might believe it himself. Because truth be told, Eddie’s not so sure he can hold on much longer. Truth be told, he can slowly feel his shell crack, each nightmare spreading the fissures wider apart.

“Buck’s upstairs.” Bobby only answers. “If you need him.”

“I’m fine.” Eddie repeats without thinking. It became a reflex, something he says as easily as a tired ‘good morning’ in the early hours of the day.

“Who are you trying to convince, Eddie? Me or yourself?” Bobby asks, his eyebrows raised. “You know we only want to help. We only want to be there for you.”

“I’m f-”

“Yeah, we know.” Bobby says with a sigh. “You’re fine. If you’re not gonna be honest with me then at least be honest with him.” He adds and Eddie looks away, his fingers twitching uncontrollably.

“I… I can’t.” He says, biting his lower lip.

“He was with you that day, you know.” Bobby tells him. Eddie can notice a slight trace of blame in his voice. “What you both went through, it’s- no one’s expecting you to have it all together, Eddie. Especially not him.” He adds. “What are you so scared is going to happen if you start talking to him about it?”

“I’ll be- I'll be okay.” Eddie repeats, stubbornly. Because it’s the only thing he can bring himself to say. He darts his eyes towards his Captain for a few seconds and the expression of disappointment painted all over his face is enough to fill Eddie with guilt.

Bobby sighs and nods to himself, as if knowing there’s nothing he can say to encourage Eddie to finally open up. He places his right hand on the door handle, takes a small step forward but Eddie doesn’t let him the time to leave the room completely.

“He deserves better than to put up with all my shit, Bobby.” He says through gritted teeth, bending his fingers into a fist.

“I’m pretty sure that’s not how he sees it, Eddie.” Bobby answers, taking a seat on the bunk next to him. His captain is watching him with so much attention it fills Eddie with unease, makes him want to run far, far away from this place.

“Yeah?” Eddie asks with a chuckle. “Well, too bad. I’m not letting him the chance to ruin his life for someone as messed up as me.” He adds, wiping his tears with the back of his hands.

“Because you don’t think he has issues of his own?” Bobby asks and Eddies shrugs his shoulders.

“Nothing to put up with.” Eddie clarifies, running his right hand through his sweaty hair once again.

“You only say that because you love him.” Bobby remarks and Eddie whirls his head around. “You don’t see his issues as something you have to put up with because you love him for who he is, no matter how much baggage he may be carrying with him.” He says. “Did you ever stop for one second to think that maybe he feels the same way about you?”

Eddie lowers his head down and doesn’t say anything. He doesn’t know what to answer to that, doesn’t know how to make sense of everything Bobby just said. He knows that, in all likelihood, his Captain might be right. Maybe that’s how Buck feels. Maybe he’s in for the long haul.

After all, every sign seems to point to that conclusion, whether it is the fact that Buck took care of Christopher without even being asked while he was fighting for his life in that hospital, or the three weeks he spent in their house helping him with his recovery, or even his break-up with Taylor strangely coinciding with his own separation with Ana, give or take a few days. The signs are here and they’re clear but something in Eddie still doubts. Something in him still hesitates.

That’s the moment Buck chooses to barge in the bunk room with a cheerful stride, smiling wildly.

That’s enough for Eddie’s lips to turn up at the edges. He can’t help it. Buck’s presence is like a ray of sunlight finally poking through the clouds after days of rain, it feels Eddie with so much love he’s afraid his heart might explode.

And Eddie’s aware of how that sounds, Hen and Chimney reminded him of how miserably cheesy he looks whenever his best-friend is around enough time to make sure of it, but Eddie doesn’t find it in him to care anymore. He’s irrevocably in love with his best-friend and maybe fighting it and trying to pretend otherwise only makes it worse.

Buck’s smile only lasts a second though. His eyes quickly fall on his best-friend and his entire face darkens.

“Eds? What’s going on? Are you okay?” He asks and rushes towards him.

“He’s okay.” Eddie can hear Bobby says. “But I think he could use some Buck time.” He adds, while getting to his feet. He squeezes Eddie’s shoulders and crosses the room, closing the door behind him. And Eddie’s grateful for the privacy but really there’s nothing more he wants but to follow Bobby out of this room and leave Buck alone.

“Another one of your nightmares?” Buck asks carefully, not sure whether to finally cross the line that seemed to have been erected between them ever since he left his flat. Eddie only nods but stays silent, the words still stuck in his throat. “The shooting again?”

Eddie nods again, not trusting himself to speak, not trusting himself to tell the truth, make him understand the true extent of his nightmares.

Not just the shooting.

Not just the shooting, Buck. The well, too. Afghanistan. The tsunami. Losing Christopher. Losing you.

Always losing you.

A silence slowly settles in the room, one person too scared to cross that invisible barrier, the other too afraid to speak. That, until Buck’s fingers tentatively reach out and brush past Eddie’s hand.

And Eddie? Eddie wants nothing more than to lean in on the touch but he does the only thing he seems to know how to do instead: He runs away. He gets up from the bed as if he’s been electrocuted by Buck's touch but his best-friend's voice stops him dead in his tracks.

“I wish you knew how to talk to me.” He says. His voice is filled with concern, and sorrow.

“I- I know how to talk to you.” Eddie says, his voice weak, overwhelmed with so many different emotions he doesn’t even know how to make sense of any of them.

“Then how come you never do, Eds?” Buck asks, his voice soft.

Eddie’s hands start shaking again. In fact, his whole body trembles but still, he says nothing.

“I don’t know what changed, Eddie.” His best-friend adds, but this time his tone is desperate, almost pleading. “I don’t know what to say to you anymore.”

“Maybe you don’t need to say anything.” Eddie finds himself saying, glancing at his best-friend who slowly looks up, his big blue eyes filled with worry staring back at him.

“Maybe.” His best-friend agrees. “But you run away even when I don’t.” He adds, smiling sadly at him.

Eddie’s throat is so tight he can barely breathe.

“I still have them too, you know.” Buck goes on and Eddie stays here, unable to move, let alone speak. “The nightmares.” He adds. “I still have them. And I don’t know what’s going on inside your head lately Diaz. I don’t know if it’s another one of your weird phases when you push everyone away because you feel like you’re strong enough to deal with everything on your own, or- or if it’s just a fucked up way for you to try and protect me from yourself but you don’t need to pretend with me, Eds.”

Eddie darts his eyes towards him and his best-friend is already looking at him dead in the eye, not blinking.

“Because I was there too, you know.” Buck adds. “I wasn’t the one who got shot but I was there, too.” He adds and something in his face just breaks. “So whatever you’re feeling, Eds, I- I get it. Trust me.”

Eddie pinches the bridge of his nose and closes his eyes fiercely, sighing deeply as he lets himself fall on his bunk next to Buck. For a moment, neither of them say anything. Eddie only intertwines their fingers together and lets his thumb draws small patterns on Buck's palm.

“I never wanted you to leave.” He still admits after a few seconds, ignoring the way his best-friend whirls his head around, his eyebrows frowned in confusion. “I wanted you to stay.” He adds. “The first night I spent on my own, the only thing I wanted to do was to call you and beg you to come back.”

“Why didn’t you?” Buck asks. And it’s a simple question. A simple question that should come with an easy answer but once again, the words get stuck in Eddie’s throat and he can’t speak. “Why didn’t you call me?” Buck repeats and Eddie chuckles, lowering his eyes to the ground.

It’s only a few seconds later that the words finally come.

“Because you would’ve come.” Eddie breathes out. “And I couldn’t let you do that.”

“Why?” His best-friend asks, his hand squeezing Eddie’s thigh. “You think I can’t deal with your nightmares?” He teases and Eddie lets out a shaky laugh, nudging him playfully.

“I know you can.” He says and Buck’s smile is so soft Eddie has to look away. “I just don’t want you to.” He adds.

“So what, you think I don’t have issues on my own?” Buck answers, forcing him to look up by lifting his chin with his forefinger.

“Of course you do.” Eddie whispers, his eyes are still down. “So why would you want to add mine to your pile?”

Buck sighs and cradles his chin with his hands, his thumbs brushing along his cheeks until Eddie’s eyes stare back at him. Only then, he says:

“Because I’m in love with you.”

Eddie lets out a shaky breath and doesn’t look away even when Buck’s hand moves from his cheeks to the back of his neck to press a kiss to his forehead.

“And I… I guess there’s no way for me to talk you of it?” Eddie says and smiles when Buck only scoffs and taps him on the back of his head.

“Don’t ask stupid questions, Diaz.” He says. “This is non negotiable.” Buck’s eyes glance down at his lips and all it takes is a small nod from Eddie for Buck to capture his mouth in a gentle kiss.

“I might be in love with you too, Buckley.” Eddie says against his lips and manages to miss Buck’s nudge by moving his body a bit further to the left.

“Oh you might?’ Buck teases him and Eddie cradles his neck with his hand, bringing him closer to kiss him one more time.

“I am.” Eddie clarifies, his voice clear and steady. “I’m so in love with you I think it makes me look stupid, Evan.”

And when Buck wraps his arms around his back and buries his face in the crook of his neck, Eddie only smiles and rests his chin on his shoulder, thinking that as long as Evan Buckley is by his side, then he might be alright.

#buddie #buck x eddie #buddie fic #my writing #9-1-1 #911

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whatisthiswritingthing · 4 years

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Observation Skills - Part Three - Lindsey Horan x Reader

Note, sorry not sorry it is a little long. I’m not wild about my ending, so let me know what you think

Lindsey gets to know the trainer some more, and feels like a teenager again.

“Just so you know, I mean this in the most loving way, I currently hate you,” is the first thing Emily says when Lindsey phones her back in the car.

“Yes, Sonnett, the work out went great. How is your day going?” Lindsey replied sarcastically.

“How could you leave out the fact that she is a firefighter?” Sonnett asked incredulously, “Lindsey, you forgot to mention a lot of stuff! And you seriously downplayed how hot she is.”

“What? I didn’t know she was a firefighter, I thought she just worked at the gym,” Lindsey trailed off, thinking how she wanted to get to know more about the blonde trainer, “wait, how do you know that? How do you know what she looks like?”

“Well, you were so skimpy on the deets, so I had to find some out on my own, did a solid deep dive on your girl. Had to make sure she would be good enough for the Great Horan,” the goofy blonde replied with a chuckle. “Want to know what else I found?”

Lindsey could picture the mischievous expression on her best friend’s face. With a smile of her own and a small sigh Lindsey confirmed she wanted to know what else Emily had found.

“First, I hate you and if you don’t do something with her number, I am stealing it and using it for myself. You chose a good one for your first girl Linds,” the defender began, earning a blush from the younger blonde.

“What can I say, I have a good taste. Now get on with it.”

“I’m serious Linessi! I just started my deep dive, checked the usual, got her whole name from the gym website, creeped her Gram and Facebook. Dude, she is like super smart, degrees and certificates like crazy on her gym profile. But Linds, the gram is where it is at, I can’t even do it justice, you need to see it for yourself.”

Lindsey could feel her blush deepening, but feeling her anxiety beginning to creep back in. Was she good enough for the trainer? Sonnett didn’t even meet Sara and here she is gushing about her.

“And she has cutest dog! Weird name though, I can’t remember it.”

“Blaze,” Lindsey prompts, brought out of her thoughts, “He was at the gym with her today. Really well trained, he followed us around the gym. And you’re one to talk, Bagel Bongo.”

“She brings the dog?” Emily exclaims, ignoring the dig back, “I need to come to this gym. Alright, now tell me about the workout? Do the biceps look as good in person as they do in her pictures?

“Really, that’s all the information you got? I already knew she was educated and hot! The only thing you told me I didn’t know was that she was a firefighter too.”

Pulling into her spot, Lindsey grabbed her stuff and made her way inside, immediately squatting down to pet Fergie at the door.

“Guess you just need to use that number and find out for yourself then,” Sonnett countered smugly.

At this, Lindsey hesitated, should she use the number? The blonde trainer encouraged her to. That meant she wanted to talk Lindsey as much as Lindsey wanted to talk to her. Right?

“Linds?” Emily prompted softly, sensing the shift in Lindsey, “You still there?”

“What would I even say? How do I know she wants me to text her? Does she mean she wants to talk about training? Or like, talk talk?” Lindsey began to ramble, flopping on the couch.

“You lost me there Linds.”

“I told her Sean gave me her number and she told me not to be afraid to use it.”

“That definitely means she wants you to text her! What makes you think she doesn’t want you to use?”

“I don’t know, maybe she was just being polite.”

“Alright dummy, start from the beginning, tell me all about the workout.”

Lindsey proceeded to tell Emily about the morning. Describing how easily the conversation moved and flowed from banter to serious and back to banter. How naturally comfortable Lindsey felt around the blonde trainer, but also how the trainer made sure she was comfortable. But also that the trainer always checked with Lindsey before assisting her or touching her. The lack of effort it took for Sara to move the weights and the confidence she carried herself with the whole time.

The midfielder felt like she could go on and on describing an hour-long workout. Seriously, when had Lindsey turned back into a thirteen-year-old girl?

Feeling her phone vibrate, Lindsey pulled her phone away to see Emily switching to FaceTime.

“She really does sound great Lindsey,” Emily said softly with a smile, all joking gone, “and you should definitely use that number.”

“You think so?”

“Definitely! Worst that happens she did just mean for you to use it for training, no harm no foul.”

“I guess you’re right,” the blonde started unsure, “what should I say?”

“Just keep it light, thank her for the workout. Conversation flowed easy in person, it will on text too. Don’t over think it.”

Before she could second guess her decision, Lindsey pulled up the number Sean had sent her the day before, typing out a message.

“How about, ‘Hey! It’s Lindsey. Thanks for training with me today. If Blaze comes with you, I may need to consider switching trainers.’ Does that sound good? Or too cheesy?”

“Its perfect! Send it before you talk yourself out of it.”

Pushing send, Lindsey resisted the urge to throw her phone down.

With a sigh, she looked made eye contact with Sonnett on screen.

“Talk to me, distract me so I don’t totally regret this decision.”

The two blondes continued to Facetime for a few minutes, the defender telling her all about Orlando and Bagel, keeping it light. Moving to discuss camp coming up in a couple weeks in her new city. The Lindsey froze.

“She replied! She actually replied!”

“Open it,” the blonde encouraged with an eye roll.

Lindsey opened the message to a picture of the giant husky sprawled out on the large bed in the corner of the trainer’s office and two messages underneath

This guy? Unfortunately, I come with. But I will let Sean know Blaze gets more girls than he does.

Thank you for training with me! We still on for tomorrow? I promise Blaze will be there.

“Alright, based off the face, my work here is done.”

Lindsey switched screens back to see Sonnett grinning at her, then noticed her own large smile.

“Thank you Disani.”

“Just let me know how it goes. Or share that number if it doesn’t work out,” with that and a wink, Sonnett ended the call.

Lindsey: As long as Blaze is there, you can count me in.

Hot Trainer: I’m changing my bio on the website, “comes with dog”, and a picture of him.

Lindsey giggled to herself as she updated Sara’s contact information in her phone. Her grin growing when she saw the blonde’s response, appreciating the easiness and lack of awkwardness with starting to text. She took Sonnetts earlier suggestion, pulling up Sara on Instagram, she immediately understood was Sonnett meant. She needed to see all the photos for herself. If she hadn’t been interested before, she was now.

The rest of the day Lindsey had a smile on her face. Her and Sara texting back and forth all day, the conversation never slowing, always picking right back up when the other was busy. All nervousness of seeing the trainer were gone and replaced with excitement.

Lindsey woke up earlier than usual the next morning, excited to get to the gym and see Sara. Having a quick breakfast for herself and Fergie, Lindsey was out the door and on her way to the gym.

Pulling up to the gym, Lindsey noted the only other vehicle in the parking lot, a spotless red Range Rover. Could this woman get any more attractive?

Walking into the gym, Lindsey had expected to be met with the site of the blonde trainer working out, but only saw the large garage style door partially open and the cool morning breeze coming in. She proceeded to make her way to the change room and get ready.

As she made her way back to the gym area she watched Sara and Blaze come through the open garage door, both panting.

Lindsey took them both in before being noticed.

Blaze had on a vest with both a Canadian and United States Flag Velcro patch, along with a Portland Fire Department patch. He looked happy, tongue hanging out the side of his mouth.

Sara had runners, tights and loose shorts over top on her lower half, with a thick compression shirt and weighted vest on her upper half. She looked good, cheeks flushed from her run. Lindsey could see the definition to her muscles through the shirt and tights. Then Sara took off her vest, leaned over and removed Blazes vest as well. The dog giving a quick, full body shake. Lindsey could the definitely along her back and side.

Standing up Sara noticed Lindsey who now stood frozen.

“Hey! I’m not late am I? I thought I timed my run right,” Sara said while pulling her wrist up to look at her watch.

“No, I’m pretty early today. So that’s on me.”

“Ahh good, I was worried! I’d hate to get fired on my second day,” the trainer rebutted with a wink, “give me a couple minutes feed this guy, change, and we can get started. Cool?”

Waiting for confirmation, the blonde raced up the stairs to her office at Lindsey’s nod, Blaze right behind her.

Lindsey made her way to the stationary bikes to wait.

A few minutes later, the midfielder watched the trainer make her way down the stairs, Blaze trailing behind with a ball in his mouth. Both making their way to her. Lindsey again took this opportunity to take the trainer in. She had changed into new shoes, recovery tights with shorts, and t-shirt.

How does she look so good after a run?

“So, since we are just doing some recovery and mobility stuff, I figured I would work through with you. If that’s cool with you?” Sara asked, bringing Lindsey out of her thoughts.

“Oh for sure, i’m cool with that,” Lindsey stuttered. She was struggling keeping her focus, already very distracted by seeing the blonde in workout clothes. How the hell was she going to workout with her now?

Sara began to describe what all they would do and got them started.

Lindsey did better than she expected during the workout, the conversation and banter flowed so easily, she didn’t have a chance to get too distracted. But she definitely still did. It was hard for her not to, everything Sara did caused her muscles to flex and shirt to tighten. Lindsey didn’t think there wasn’t a part of Sara’s body that wasn’t strong and tight. Her body flowing through the movements effortlessly.

“So totally creeped your bio on the website after you mentioned it yesterday,” Lindsey started, “I don’t think you need Blaze to help you get clients.”

At hearing his name, he trotted over with his ball, dropping it into Lindseys lap then backing away and waiting for her to throw it. With a chuckle, she threw it the length of the turf.

“He is going to be your best friend now, add some belly rubs, and he’ll probably just get in your car with you,” Sara chuckled as Blaze dropped his ball in her lap again.

“I’ll leave him here for you, just incase that impressive bio doesn’t work,” Lindsey tried again, “seriously, you’re certified in everything and you work as a firefighter. How does that even work?”

Lindsey watched as Sara blushed and ducked her head.

“I like to learn?” Sara attempted humbly, “I work in a rotation with PFD, then on my days off when I’m on nights I’m here during the day.”

“And you work with the university Sean said?” Lindsey asked, impressed at how much this woman could do.

“I mostly just write the team and induvial training programs; some I work with in person here or at the university. I do their nutrition programs too.”

“Why not get on with a pro team of some kind?”

“Your athletic therapist, Bailey, keeps trying to get me with you guys full time, but just contract works for me. I can stay here and PFD,” Sara says with a shrug.

Lindsey looked at her with her eyes wide.

“You’re on contract with the Thorns?”

“I thought you guys knew,” Sara started awkwardly, “I’ve written your programs for the past two seasons. I just don’t have time to be there.”

Lindsey didn’t know what to say, she just stared at the blonder trainer. She needed to talk to Bailey.

“I’m really sorry, I thought you guys knew. The strength and conditioning coach you guys have Bailey and your other athletic therapists didn’t like, so she reached out to me. I offered to do contract and the programs and it just stuck I guess,” Sara apologized genuinely, standing up and offering her a hand. “My next client just got here, so I’ve got to go, but I’ll text you later?”

“Yea for sure.”

And with that the blonde was off, meeting her next client. Leaving Lindsey stunned with the new information. She could have met this woman anytime over the last two years.

#lindsey horan x reader #lindsey horan imagine #lindsey horan imagines #uswnt imagine #uswnt imagines #uswnt x reader

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rhosyn-du · 3 years

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Never make a mess when a total catastrophe will do - Chapter One

Pairings: Jimon, past Clace, background Clizzy, a bunch of other minor background pairings Rating: Explicit Art: @cor321 Beta: @all-thestories-aretrue Tags: Alternate Universe - College/University, fake dating, oh my god they were roommates, friends with benefits, idiots to lovers, pining, miscommunication, holidays, drinking games, mistletoe, symbolically significant Oreos, domestic fluff, brief mention of past character death, Jace’s self-worth issues deserve their own tag Summary: What do you do when you find out your sister is not only dating your ex and love-of-your-high-school-life but is also bringing her home for Christmas? Bring your annoying, hot, annoyingly-hot roommate as your fake boyfriend to show them you're totally fine with it, obviously! There's no possible way this could backfire. Link: AO3, Tumblr Master Post

Chapter One

“Lightwood’s Mortuary, you stab ‘em, we slab ‘em. How may I direct your call?”

“You know,” Izzy said, “that joke would land a lot better if you hadn’t turned green last week when I mentioned getting to do my first cadaver dissection.”

“First of all,” Jace said, abandoning his laptop in favor of flopping back onto his bed, “it’s creepy that you say ‘getting to’ instead of ‘having to.’ And second of all, no one wants to hear about how much fun you had slicing up dead bodies over Thanksgiving dinner.”

“Max wanted to hear about it.”

“Max also can’t wait to get to middle school because he heard you get to use actual fire in science class,” Jace pointed out.

“Max is just into science like his big sister,” Izzy countered breezily. “Anyway, I wanted to talk to you about Christmas.”

“Please,” Jace said with far more enthusiasm than the situation probably warranted. “I’m desperate enough for any distraction that will take me away from trying to memorize third declensions that I would love to discuss whatever family holiday drama is so colossal I’m hearing it from you instead of Alec. Is Robert planning to show up uninvited to Christmas dinner with his girlfriend again? Oh! Did Mom finally snap and kill him? Is that why Alec isn’t calling? Is he helping her hide the body?”

“Oh my god,” Izzy laughed. “Dad and Annamarie are spending the holidays in Provance with her family, and there are no bodies to be hidden. This is what you get for taking Latin instead of Spanish like a sane person.”

“This coming from a woman who’s studying both,” Jace pointed out.

“Yeah, because a basic understanding of Latin and fluency in Spanish will both help me get into med school, and I need all the help I can get if I’m going to get into Grossman. Besides, I’d never imply anyone in this family is sane. If you studied more, you’d know that ‘Lightwood’ is just Latin for ‘totally fucking cracked.’”

“Please,” Jace snorted. “It’s not even a Latinate name. It’s Germanic. ‘Lightwood’ is Old English for ‘totally fucking cracked.’ Speaking of which, what’s the Christmas disaster?”

“It’s not a disaster exactly,” Izzy hedged, and Jace felt a sudden frisson of actual unease. Izzy normally had no problem speaking her mind. “It’s not a disaster at all, actually. It’s just. I invited someone.”

“Oh.” Jace relaxed. He didn’t know why Izzy was making such a big deal out of this. In the years since the divorce, Maryse had often encouraged her kids to invite any friends without a place to go to join them for holidays. Izzy’s own roommate had come for Thanksgiving last year. “That’s cool.”

“No,” Izzy said, like he was missing something obvious. “Jace, I invited someone. Someone I’m seeing. Seriously.”

“Oh,” Jace said again, this time with dawning comprehension. “That’s great, Iz. I’m happy for you. Wait, Mom’s not doing her overprotective, no-one-is-good-enough-for-my-children thing again, is she? Is that why you called, you need me to run interference?”

“No, no,” Izzy reassured him, although her voice still held an underlying tension. “Mom’s been great, actually. They knew each other already, so that probably helps.” Jace heard a shaky inhale before Izzy continued. “You, um. You know her, too, actually.”

“Oh yeah?” Jace said with forced ease, wracking his brain for any clue as to what could have Izzy so freaked out. Whatever it was, Jace wasn’t going to add to her stress. As far as he knew, Isabelle had never even been serious enough about someone before to even use the term girlfriend or boyfriend, let alone bring them home for Christmas. “Who’s the lucky lady?”

“It’s Clary,” Izzy said in a rush. “I’m dating Clary.”

The world seemed to tilt on its axis, and Jace was glad he was already lying down.

“Clary?” he repeated. “M—” He just barely stopped himself from saying “my Clary.” Because she wasn’t, not anymore. Not for a long time. “Morgenstern?” It was a clumsy recovery, but it was the best he could manage. “You’re dating Clary Morgenstern?”

Jace and Clary had met at the beginning of Jace’s junior year of high school. Clary, a year younger, had just lost her mom, and the two initially bonded over the shared experience of having lost parents. But Clary was fierce and bold and so full of passion even in the depths of her grief that Jace really couldn’t help falling in love with her. They’d dated for nearly two years—practically forever in high school terms—and even though they’d both known they were growing apart by the time Jace had to choose between his first-choice college in Boston and staying in New York to go to NYU, Clary would always hold a special place in Jace’s heart as his first love.

“Yeah,” Izzy said on a heavy exhale. “For a while now. That—that’s why I called. I didn’t want it to be weird, you know? For us all to just show up and for it to be a surprise. But I guess I probably shouldn’t have done it over the phone, either. I just didn’t think—”

“Izzy,” Jace said, much more calmly than he felt. “Breathe. It’s okay.”

“God, I should have told you sooner,” Izzy continued as though he hadn’t even spoken. “I just knew it probably would be weird for you, so I didn’t want to say anything until I was sure—”

“But you are now,” Jace interrupted again. It wasn't really a question. “Sure.”

“Yeah,” Izzy breathed. “I’m so sure.”

“Then it’s not weird,” Jace lied. “I mean, come on, my sister is dating someone who makes her happy and who I know will treat her right. What kind of idiot would I have to be to complain about that?”

“Really?” Izzy pressed. “Because I told Clary I wanted to talk to you before we finalized plans. So, if it is weird for you, or even if you just don’t want to be the only single person at the table on Christmas—”

“I won’t be,” Jace interrupted.

There was a pregnant pause, and then Izzy squealed so loud Jace had to pull the phone away from his ear.

“Oh my god, Jace! That’s amazing! Why didn’t you just say you were bringing someone, too, you jackass? Do you know how worried I’ve been about telling you about me and Clary?”

Which wasn’t what he’d meant at all—he’d only meant that Maryse was single, too—but Jace couldn’t resist the excitement in Izzy’s voice, not after her earlier panic.

“If I’d known you were all freaked out, I would have said something sooner,” Jace improvised. “It’s kind of new, and I haven’t even had the chance to tell Mom yet.”

“Let me,” Izzy insisted. “I’ve been trying to get her to admit that she and Luke are an item for ages, and maybe knowing that we’re all happily attached will be the push she needs.”

“Hold up. Mom…and Clary’s stepdad?” Jace was starting to wonder if this was some bizarre stress nightmare brought on by impending finals.

“Yup,” Izzy confirmed, popping the “p.” “They’re not even subtle about how much time they’re spending together, but Mom keeps talking about how they’re ‘just old friends.’” Jace could practically hear the eye roll.

“Anyway,” she continued, “if I leave now, I can catch Mom closing up the bookshop and maybe finally get her to crack. Don’t worry about Christmas plans. I’ll take care of everything. Talk to you later!”

“Iz, wait,” Jace started, but he was interrupted by the telltale beep of the call ending.

Jace stared at his phone, wondering how, exactly, he’d managed to make such a disaster of things. He couldn’t deal with this right now, he decided, tossing his phone aside. He just had to get through finals, and then he could come up with some excuse for why his nonexistent girlfriend couldn’t make it for Christmas. An excuse that wouldn’t make Izzy suspicious. Or Clary. Or Alec. Or— Fuck. Not thinking about it.

He turned his attention back to his laptop only to realize after several minutes of staring blankly that he wasn’t prepared to think about Latin anymore, either. Fuck it. He was going to spend the rest of the evening on the couch, drinking beer and watching stupid people doing stupid things on TV and thinking about absolutely nothing at all.

Because Jace just couldn’t catch a break, he found both the couch and TV already in use. He wanted to be annoyed, especially since he knew this was at least the dozenth time this semester his roommate had watched Return of the Jedi. Part of him was annoyed. But another part of him was…not annoyed. And that was yet another thing Jace wasn’t going to think about.

Jace’s first impression of Simon Lewis, when he’d walked into History and Literature of Music their freshman year, had been that he was kind of hot, in a nerdy way. His second impression, when he actually talked to Simon a few days later, was that the guy was annoying as hell. Over the course of the year, as they somehow ended up hanging out with the same group of friends, it became a tolerable sort of annoying. So tolerable, in fact, that when Jace found himself desperate for a roommate the next summer when Raj bailed on him last-minute, he’d agreed to let Simon have the second room in the surprisingly affordable apartment he’d found.

Jace’s third impression of Simon came four days after they’d moved in together, when he happened to be walking down the hallway at the exact moment Simon stepped out of the bathroom, towel wrapped around his waist, a stray droplet of water trailing down his surprisingly well-defined abs. In that moment, Jace must have lost his mind, because he had the sudden, almost overwhelming urge to follow the path of that droplet with his tongue and, oh. Oh no. Jace had been wrong this entire time. Simon wasn’t just annoying. He wasn’t just nerd-hot. He was annoyingly hot.

And Jace was maybe just a little bit in trouble.

Because he’d seen the kinds of people Simon dated. Thoughtful. Driven. Well-adjusted. Unlike Jace in pretty much every way that mattered. Not that Jace dated, but he wasn’t the kind of person Simon hooked up with, either, he was pretty sure.

(Jace confessed his fourth impression of Simon to Maia several months later, after many, many shots of tequila. Maia laughed at him for a solid five minutes, but she also poured them another round and never mentioned it again after they sobered up because she was actually a pretty good friend despite how much she always seemed to enjoy Jace’s suffering.)

“What’s wrong?” Simon asked around a mouthful of instant ramen. Jace refused to acknowledge that the way his cheeks puffed out when he ate was cute.

“Just.” Jace shook his head. “Holidays. Family stuff.”

“Your sister planning to make Christmas dinner again?” Simon asked.

“Worse,” Jace said, flopping onto the other end of their stained Goodwill couch. “She’s dating my ex.”

Simon winced. “Ouch, dude.” Simon poked at his noodles with a pair of well-used disposable chopsticks. “You still have feelings for your ex?”

“What? No, of course not. It was ages ago, and we were practically still kids. And the breakup was mutual.” He made a face. “But Izzy’s bringing her home for Christmas.”

“Okay, yeah, that could be a little awkward,” Simon conceded.

“It gets worse,” Jace admitted. “When she told me, I kind of panicked and said I was bringing someone home, too.”

Simon frowned. “I didn’t know you were seeing anyone.”

“I’m not,” Jace told him. “Which is kind of the problem.”

“Wow. You really know how to make things difficult for yourself.”

“Thanks,” Jace said. “Very helpful.”

Simon shrugged, then said, as casual as if he were offering to toss Jace’s towels in with his to make a full load at the laundromat, “You could always take me home with you.”

Jace stared. “What?”

“I mean, I’m going to be in the city anyway,” Simon continued, “and it’s not like my family does Christmas. I think Mom and Becky can manage the traditional Chinese takeout and Fast and Furious marathon without me.”

“Your family watches The Fast and the Furious on Christmas?” It was the only part of that Jace was emotionally prepared to process.

“It used to be Die Hard, but Mom’s got a thing for Vin Diesel, so now we alternate years.”

Jace stared a moment longer, waiting for any of this to make sense. On the television, Boushh threatened Jabba with a thermal detonator.

“Right,” Jace said when it was clear the situation wasn’t going to make sense of itself. “Okay. Rewind to the part where I’m supposed to take you home with me for Christmas and, what, pretend you’re my boyfriend?”

He could picture it all too easily. Simon wielding his enthusiastic charm to keep Izzy out of the kitchen while Jace helped Maryse make dinner. Simon joining Alec in coaxing Jace toward the piano when it was time to sing carols. Simon flushed and smiling after a couple mugs of Magnus’s deceptively alcoholic eggnog. Simon’s hand in his because that’s just something boyfriends do.

It was a horrifyingly tempting prospect.

Jace pushed those thoughts away, crossing his arms over his chest and directing all the scorn he felt at himself into the stare he leveled at Simon. “What’s that supposed to accomplish other than giving me a headache?”

“Hey,” Simon said, setting the dregs of his ramen down on their secondhand Ikea coffee table, “I’ll have you know that I make an excellent boyfriend.”

That wasn’t exactly news. The fact that Simon was friends with basically all of his exes said as much. But Jace wasn’t about to let on that he paid that much attention to Simon’s dating habits. Or to pass up such a good opening. “That why you’re single?”

“Not the one currently desperate for a holiday date here, pal,” Simon pointed out.

“I don’t know, you seemed pretty eager to be my holiday date just a second ago,” Jace said, adding a wink just to be obnoxious.

“It was an offer, jackass. One which I now deeply regret.”

“Which you should,” Jace told him, turning to the TV and pretending to watch. “Now we can both forget this conversation ever happened, and I can go back to figuring out what I’m going to tell my family about why my nonexistent significant other can’t make it for Christmas this year.”

“Right,” Simon muttered, picking up his bowl and turning his own attention back to the movie.

Jace told himself he didn’t feel just the tiniest bit disappointed.

“The thing is,” Simon said several minutes later, as Boba Fett tumbled into the Sarlaac pit, “my cousin Rachel is getting married on Valentine’s Day. And my Bubbe Helen is still pretty cranky with me for breaking up with Maia.”

Jace frowned at him. “You and Maia dated for like a month and a half. Over a year ago.”

“Yeah, well,” Simon said, “Bubbe Helen really liked her, but I think maybe that’s because Maia’s the only person I’ve ever brought to a family function. So, I was thinking maybe if I brought someone else to Rachel’s wedding, she’d get the hint and drop the Maia thing. And then you suddenly needed someone to take home for Christmas, and I thought we could, you know, help each other out.”

It was a terrible idea, and Jace meant to say so. He really did. But what came out of his mouth instead was, “You want to introduce me to your grandmother?”

“I mean,” Simon said with a shrug, “she’d probably be happier if you were Jewish, but I honestly think she’d be happy to see me with anyone who’s not a total asshole. Ever since she found out Maia and I aren’t together anymore, she’s been acting like I’m going to end up a lonely old maid or something, which I totally don’t get, because A, I’m only twenty-one, and B, she doesn’t think it’s a problem that Becky’s single and Becky’s two years older than me.”

“Glad to know I meet the very minimal requirement of not being an asshole.”

“Not a total asshole,” Simon corrected with a teasing grin.

“You’re really making a compelling case for trying to convince our families that we’re a couple,” Jace said drily. But he was maybe just a little bit weak for Simon’s smile, so he added, “But you might as well tell me how exactly you think this would work. Theoretically.”

“Theoretically,” Simon repeated. “Right. Well, we’d need to come up with a game plan, obviously. And rules. Rules that we actually follow, because that’s where things like this always fall apart, when someone ignores the rules.”

“Where things always fall apart,” Jace repeated. “Is this something you do often?”

“What? No! I just mean like in movies and stuff. Fake dating is practically its own genre, so we have a ton of examples for how not to do it, and…” Simon frowned as his voice trailed off. “And now that I’m saying this out loud, I’m realizing how dumb it sounds. You’re right. We should forget this conversation ever happened.”

“Or,” Jace said slowly, knowing he was going to regret it but unable to stop himself, “we could spend some time coming up with a plan and then decide if we think it will work.”

“Wait, really?” The slow grin spreading across Simon’s face did nothing to ease Jace’s sense of impending doom, but it did fill him with a soft warmth that made the doom easier to ignore.

“Why not?” Jace shrugged with practiced nonchalance. “I’m done with classes at noon tomorrow if you want to do it then.”

“I’ve got a break from then till three if you don’t mind meeting near campus,” Simon said. “Say, Java Jones at twelve-thirty?”

“Sure,” Jace agreed to the background of Jabba’s sail barge exploding. He hoped that was less metaphorical than it felt.

~~~

“I thought we were planning a couple of fake dates, not staging a major military operation,” Jace said as he surveyed the notebooks and stacks of paper strewn across the rickety cafe table in front of Simon.

“Oh, sorry,” Simon said, hastily shoving exactly one of the many notebooks into his backpack. “I was just reviewing notes for my econ final while I waited.”

“Is all of this really necessary?” Jace asked, attempting to clear enough room on the table for his coffee and the banana muffin that was attempting to pass for lunch.

“It’s so necessary,” Simon told him, reaching over to steal a piece of Jace’s muffin. “I don’t want to end up like Melissa Joan Hart in My Fake Fiancé.” He popped the piece of muffin into his mouth. “Or Melissa Joan Hart in Drive Me Crazy. Oh! Or even worse, Melissa Joan Hart in Holiday in Handcuffs.”

“I have no idea what you just said.”

Simon sighed heavily. “I’m saying we need clear, well-defined rules if this is going to work.”

“Is rule number one ‘don’t be Melissa Joan Hart’?” Jace asked, snatching his muffin away when Simon reached for it again and taking a pointed bite.

“No,” Simon said, with far more seriousness than Jace thought the situation warranted. “That’s rule number two. Rule number one,” he continued, opening a blue notebook to a fresh page, “is ‘absolutely no sex.’”

Jace choked on his muffin.

“If there’s one thing everyone seems to agree with, it’s that things always break down when that rule gets broken,” Simon continued as though Jace weren’t struggling to breathe around a mouthful of muffin and why Simon thought they even needed a rule for that.

Jace washed the remaining crumbs of muffin down with a generous swig of coffee, then leaned back in his chair with a deliberately cocky grin. “I mean, I know I’m damn near irresistible, but do you really think you need a rule to keep from jumping me?”

“Rule three,’’ Simon said, scribbling furiously in the notebook, “treat each other with the same respect we’d treat people we’re actually dating.”

“Hey, I would have the same question for someone I was actually dating.”

Simon looked up from the notebook. “That explains so much about your dating history.”

Jace flipped him off, and Simon flashed him a shit-eating grin. “Nope, sorry, rule one. But,” he continued, serious once again, “we should have rules about what kind of physical affection we are comfortable with. Like, I know we don’t normally do hugs, but it would be weird if we never hugged in front of your family if we were dating, right? What about holding hands, is that too much? And what about kissing? I’m definitely cool with cheek kisses, but I don’t know—”

“Simon,” Jace interrupted before he could get too worked up. Or make Jace think about more things he really shouldn’t be thinking about. “You’re allowed to hug me. And hold my hand. Honestly, I’m sure I’d be fine with anything you’re comfortable doing in front of my family, so how about we just go with this: casual touches are fine and for anything else, I’ll follow your lead.”

The look Simon gave him was so searching that Jace almost worried for a second that Simon would be able to see right past his crossed arms and feigned nonchalance to the part of him that was less worried about showing physical affection than how much he wanted it, the part that avoided hugging Simon because he liked it.

“Okay,” Simon said finally. “But you have to promise you’ll tell me if anything I do bothers you even a little bit.”

“You mean like singing Shake It Off at the top of your lungs in the shower?” Jace asked.

“That was one time!” Simon protested. “I was up all night studying and under the influence of too many energy drinks. We agreed never to mention it again.”

“No, you told me never to mention it again and I laughed at you.”

“See, this is why we need rules. You’re already breaking number three.”

“Yeah, because we’re not pretend-dating yet,” Jace said. “That one might be a little rough, but I’m sure I can manage with some practice.”

There was that searching look again, but then Simon nodded like Jace had said something particularly insightful. “You’re right, we should practice.”

“We—what?”

“If we’re going to convince people who actually know us that we’re dating, then we should practice first,” Simon said, like it was the most reasonable thing in the world. “Not just the rules we know are going to be hard, but all of it, so we can work out any kinks in the plan before showtime.”

And maybe it was reasonable, but it was one thing to put on a show for his family, for Simon’s family, for a few days at a time in places that might be familiar to each of them individually, but that weren’t theirs. It was entirely another thing to do it here, in the cafe they went to at least twice a week, or on campus where they’d first met and had to keep on attending classes for at least another year, or even worse in the apartment they shared, around their friends—

“I really should have thought of it earlier,” Simon continued, blissfully unaware of Jace’s inner turmoil. “My best friend back home, she’s an amazing liar. Like, seriously, she got away with everything when we were kids. But any time she needed me to back up her story, she’d make me practice with her like a hundred times until she knew I could convince her mom and stepdad, even after I got good enough that I didn’t have to practice to convince Mom. Man, those two could sniff out the tiniest discrepancy in any story. Like, if normal parent bullshit detection is a one, my mom’s is probably a solid three, but Fray’s parents? Eleven, easy.”

“I’m pretty sure no one I’m related to has supernatural bullshit detection,” Jace told him. “And it’s common knowledge I’m a better liar than you are, so if you can fool your mom without practice, so can I.”

“Maybe,” Simon conceded. “But a little bit of practice couldn’t hurt, right?”

Jace was pretty sure that it could hurt, actually, but he was also pretty sure he was the only one in danger of getting hurt, so it probably wasn’t worth consideration. Especially weighed against the hopeful enthusiasm in Simon’s expression.

“What did you have in mind?”

“We could start by pretending we’re on a date right now,” Simon suggested. “We’re already sharing a muffin. So, just treat me like you’d treat anyone you were on a date with.”

“My dates don’t usually involve this many notebooks,” Jace told him. “And if my date stole my muffin, the date would be over.”

“Come on, you’re not even trying,” Simon said, gathering up the papers and notebooks. “You’d really ditch your date over a muffin?”

“Absolutely,” Jace insisted. “They’d have to be seriously good in bed to make up for it, and I’m pretty sure rule number one says you’ll never get muffin-stealing privileges.”

“If the biggest benefit to sleeping with you is getting to share your muffins, then I’m not the one missing out,” Simon told him.

“You selling your body for muffins now, Lightwood?” an amused voice interrupted. “I bet I know a few people who’d toss a bran muffin or two your way for a chance at that ass.”

“Which is why you’re not my pastry-pimp, Roberts,” Jace said, smirking at Maia as she helped herself to one of the table’s empty chairs. “I only trade this ass for top tier, gourmet muffins. If your muffins don’t have at least two Michelin stars, I’m not interested.”

“I give him a week until he’s working corners for Entenmann’s,” Simon told her. “He was just threatening to walk out on our date over a bite of mediocre banana nut.”

Maia’s eyes widened. “Your— Oh, shit, sorry,” she said, scrambling out of her chair and throwing them both an apologetic smile that Jace was pretty sure wouldn’t be directed at him if he were sitting with anyone other than Simon. “I swear I didn’t mean to interrupt, I just thought you were studying or something. You guys have fun, and I’ll just—”

“It’s a practice date,” Jace interrupted, “not an actual date. And Simon’s a dirty muffin thief who won’t even put out, so I’m not sure it really even qualifies as any kind of date.”

Maia looked between the two of them, then slowly lowered herself back into the chair. “I know I’m going to regret asking this, but what exactly is a ‘practice date,’ and why are the two of you on one?”

“Jace needs a fake boyfriend to take home for Christmas, and I need a fake date for Rachel’s wedding,” Simon explained, snatching the last bit of Jace’s muffin without remorse. “And we thought we should practice dating before trying to convince our families that were actually, you know, together.”

“That’s a terrible idea, and I regret any part I played in the two of you becoming friends,” Maia said flatly.

“Yeah, that would probably worry me more if you didn’t say that like twice a week,” Simon told her.

“Oh god, Simon, what did you let Jace talk you into now?” another voice asked, and suddenly there were three more people crowding around their tiny table, because apparently all of their friends were at Java Jones today. Which, in retrospect, Jace should have expected, given how often they all hung out there.

“It was actually my idea,” Simon told Maureen, sliding his chair closer to Jace’s to make room for her, Bat, and Lily. “Jace is taking me home to meet his family over the holidays, and I’m taking him as my date to my cousin’s wedding.”

This proclamation was met with a stunned silence that was broken when Lily turned to Jace and punched him in the arm.

“Ow! What the hell?”

“That’s for abandoning me, jerk,” Lily told him. “Not that I can really blame you—either of you,” she added, giving both Jace and Simon an appreciative once over, “‘cause damn—but I thought we had an understanding.” She sighed heavily. “Now that you’ve gone over the dating Dark Side, who’s going to be my wingman? You’re probably going to start doing all kinds of relationship-y things and talking about feelings—” she said it like it was a dirty word “—and crap like that.”

“I am not going to talk about my feelings,” Jace said, at the same time that Simon said, “We’re not actually together. We’re just pretending.”

“They’re planning to try to convince their families they’re dating even though they’re not,” Maia explained. “Because they apparently think that’s not just a disaster waiting to happen.”

“Oh,” Lily said, sounding oddly disappointed.

“Fifty bucks,” Bat announced, “says that when this blows up in their faces, Jace is the first one to break down and call Maia in a panic.”

“Hey,” Jace protested.

“Oh, you’re on,” Maureen said, ignoring Jace entirely. “Sorry, Simon, but no one panics quite like you.”

“I’m in,” Lily said, “and I agree with Maureen that Simon will break first, but his call to Maia will be interrupted by Jace calling five minutes later.”

“Why am I the one getting all of the panicked calls?” Maia wanted to know.

“Because you’re the only person at this table who isn’t an asshole,” Simon told her, “but nothing’s going to go wrong, let alone panic-inducing levels of wrong, so you’ve got nothing to worry about.”

“Dude,” Jace said, “she’s an asshole to me.”

“You like it,” Maia and Simon said in unison, causing the rest of the table to collapse into laughter.

“Okay, fine,” Maia said around her giggles several minutes later, “if you’re all betting, then count me in, too. I bet that these fools,” she looked pointedly at Jace, then at Simon, “don’t call me when this whole thing goes to hell, but I somehow end up having to haul their asses out of trouble, anyway.”

“I rescind my assessment of you as not an asshole,” Simon told her.

“I’d think twice about calling the woman who’s going to haul your ass out of trouble an asshole if I were you,” Bat said.

“Back to this pretending to be together thing,” Lily said. “What exactly does that entail?”

“That’s actually what we were trying to figure out when you guys showed up,” Simon told her. “We started a list of rules, but we only made it to four so far.”

“Your list should definitely include making out,” Lily said decisively. “Having made out with both of you, I can say with confidence that you’re definitely missing out if you don’t. In fact, you should try it now so we can let you know if it looks authentic.”

“You just want to watch them make out,” Maureen said.

“Yes,” Lily told her. She didn’t add ‘duh,’ but it was implied. “I always want to make hot people make out. But in this case, I’m also being helpful.”

The ensuing argument over the line between helpful and self-serving was thankfully cut short by the opening guitar line of Blonde Redhead’s Barragan.

“Sorry, I’ve gotta take this,” Simon said, holding up his phone. “I’ve been playing voicemail tag with Becky all week.” He looked at Jace. “Talk more about this later?”

“Sure,” Jace told him.

“Tell your sister I said hi,” Maia called after Simon as he headed away from the cafe’s crowd.

“You know,” Jace told her in a low voice, “you could always tell her hi yourself instead of always asking Simon to pass messages.”

Maia gave him an unimpressed look. “After everything I just heard, I’m pretty sure you’re the last person in this room I should be taking relationship advice from.”

“Bite me,” Jace told her, but he didn’t disagree.

#shadowhunters #shmb2021 #jimon #jimon fic #jace wayland #simon lewis

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wienerbarnes · 3 years

Text

Necessary Evil

Pairing: Bucky x Reader (Cheek to Cheek)

Word Count: 1,816

Warnings: nothing crazy, typical canon violence type stuff, special character appearance👀

A/N: so sorry for not posting this like two days ago when i said i was going to🥴 ive had a ton going on and ive been a busy bee but hopefully ill get myself organized for next week :) question for yall! should i keep the friday posting schedule or do thursdays instead bc of fatws on fridays? lmk!

MAIN MASTERLIST | CHEEK TO CHEEK MASTERLIST

It’s been a confusing couple of weeks. You’ve been placed on a temporary leave while you finish your recovery after the last mission.

You’ve been trying to learn as much about your new powers as you can, not really understanding what they are or how they work considering that most of the time they’ve shown themselves it’s been accidental.

Making Bucky drop food, slamming doors shut, sending stuff flying across the room. At this point you’ll tape your hands at your sides if it means you’ll stop making such a mess everywhere.

Everything has been put on halt. You don’t cook, in fear of starting a fire or making a mess in your kitchen, you don’t spar with anyone or workout unless it’s in a closed off and sealed training room used for when the Hulk was at the tower, in fear of hurting people around you, and unfortunately, you haven’t let Bucky be around you much in fear of hurting him.

He tells you that you’re not going to hurt him and that even if you did he wouldn’t take it personally, but you just can’t bring yourself to do it. The two of you got into a heated argument a few days ago when he offered to let you use him as a practice dummy for your new powers.

“How dare you suggest something like that to me?!”

“Well, I just meant that -”

“Meant what? How would you feel if I asked you to slap me around like a ragdoll with your metal arm? Make you go Winter Soldier on me?”

“That’s not the same thing, and you know it.”

“Isn’t it though?”

It wasn’t pretty.

It also didn’t help that Bucky was sent on a solo mission recently. He couldn’t tell you much about it, and you didn’t push it, knowing the two of you were still a bit rocky with each other, and knowing that it would only put more stress on you constantly thinking about his mission.

Boy, did you miss him though. You’re glad you put aside your pride to hug and kiss him goodbye, taking in his warmth, his love, his smell, savoring his arms around you and his lips on yours before he left. With the way he held and kissed you, you think he felt the same.

That was two days ago. Alpine has been the one to keep you the most company. She’s gotten big, and it’s a lot more fun to play around with her now. You trail a feather attached to the end of a string around the ground while she tries to pounce after it. A knock at the door doesn’t even pull her attention away from the toy as you let her win and catch it, standing up from your sitting position on the floor.

You open it to reveal Sam in more casual clothes than his regular tactical pants and shirt, and you return the smile he gives you.

“You busy?” He asks.

You look over your shoulder to see Alpine still pawing at the feather on the ground.

“No, I’m not busy, what’s up?”

“Just wanted to hang out, we both got the day off, figured I’d show you the best danishes in New York.”

You’re not sure if Bucky put him up to this or if this is a way to keep you from going batshit being stuck in your room not being able to do anything, but you accept the offer anyway. It’ll be nice to get some air.

“Do you, uhm,” You begin, feeling a bit embarrassed.

“What’s up?” Sam asks, the guy from the VA coming out, encouraging you to tell him.

“Do you know if Bucky’s okay? I haven’t heard from him, is all.” You ask, slipping on some shoes and heading back out into the hallway with Sam.

“I mean, I’m sure he’s fine, why wouldn’t he be?”

“Just that I know these solo missions can be anywhere and he could be doing anything, but I still worry. I didn’t know if you knew where he was or anything.”

He doesn’t. He doesn’t know, because Bucky told him Steve asked him for a few favors and he needed some off time for a couple of days. He thought Bucky was in rural New York. There’s no mission. But he supposes he’s not supposed to tell you that.

“Yeah, I don’t know much about it. Fury’s probably the one behind it.” Fury’s in Florida for his niece’s sixth birthday. He doesn’t tell you that either.

Luckily you accept it and enter the elevator to leave the private floor and go to the common area, able to leave out the backway of the tower.

“Avenger in the building, Captain.”

Sam doesn’t understand. Avenger? Who’s even around anymore?

“Uh, huh? Bucky?”

“No, Captain.”

“Clint?”

“No.”

“Who’s here?”

“Underoos.”

Underoos? Where has he heard that? Isn’t that -

The elevator doors open to the common room, a teenage boy stands with his back towards the two of you. His head whips around in typical teenage fashion and your eyebrows shoot up, unaware that the Avengers recruited teenagers.

“Is that a fucking kid?”

“Peter?” Sam asks, clearly surprised at the boy being in front of him. He hasn’t seen him in years. He wasn’t even sure where he was all this time, assuming he was in school, with his Aunt, but now he’s here.

“Sam! And his lady... friend. How are you?!”

“The lady friend has a name.” You chirp.

“What are you doing here?”

You and Sam speak at the same time. Peter addresses you first, “And your name is…?”

“Uh, Agent 51.” You didn’t think that through.

“Weird name, but alright.”

“Peter.” Sam brings his attention back to his question.

“Who is this guy?” You ask, clearly lost on who this person is and how he’s an Avenger.

“This is Spider-Man.” Sam tells you nonchalantly.

“Uh- Sam?!” Peter exclaims.

“What, she works with us, now. She doesn’t have anyone to tell anyway.”

“Sam?!” You elbow him.

“Why are you here, Peter.” Sam asks again.

“Well, you know, I was in school, doing some stuff here and there for Hill and Fury, and I figured I’d stop by.” He smiles.

You and Sam stare in silent confusion.

“Okay, look. I feel… lost. Like I feel like I’ve come to terms with Tony dying and stuff, but, I don’t know...” Peter finally cuts to the point.

You know very little about Spider-Man. You definitely didn’t know he was a kid, but you also didn’t know that he had some sort of a close relationship with Tony Stark. You’re becoming more and more like Bucky everyday; not knowing who any of these people are, not remembering seemingly important events, hell, not even knowing have these things happened because you were under Hydra.

“Peter, we don’t -”

“I’m not asking for help. More so asking if you have anything for me to do, or something.” His smile falls. You’re definitely confused, but you feel for the guy. You remember feeling lost as a teenager, losing the people you looked up to. And that lost feeling landed you in the Marines and the Marines landed you with a terrorist organization. We should help him, you immediately think.

“I’m sorry, man.” Sam offers. He wants to help Peter, as annoying as he finds him. Being a teenager is hard, and being Spider-Man is harder. But, Sam can’t forget that he’s still a kid in school with only his aunt and a few friends around him. He doesn’t want to put a person like that in the immense danger they throw themselves into, even if he knows he can handle it.

“No worries, I’ll be on my way, then.” Peter nervously scratches at his eyebrow.

“Sure you don’t want to stick around here for a bit? I know the Avengers aren’t much of a thing anymore, but, you always got a room here; a place to stay.” Sam tells him, assuming Peter’s on the verge of having a sort of coming-of-age moment.

“No, no, I need to be with May. I’ll see if I can, uh, maybe stop by more often. Maybe. If that’s alright. Nice to meet you, uh, Miss 51!” He bids farewell before walking away awkwardly, leaving Sam with a sort of sullen look on his face and you still very confused.

“What was that whole thing about?” You finally break the silence as you two make your way towards the private garage elevators.

“I’ll tell you over danishes.”

Bucky plants his fist into the HYDRA soldier’s face for the sixth time, the sound of metal hitting flesh making a slushy sound with little clanks, signifying teeth hitting the floor.

“This is the last time I ask you before I kill you. Where is Bychkov, Morozov, and that fuck with metal arms?” He pants beneath the black mask and goggles, an outfit he hadn’t dawned in so long.

Your list is heavy in his pocket, he thinks about the names he’s already crossed off and few he has left. He’s not going to stop until he finds the handlers that captured you and the supposed soldier with metal arms that shot you, details you only mentioned to him once after a nightmare that he refused to ever forget.

“They… went back… to base… in Kiev. Just… north of it.” He struggles out.

One step closer. Bucky stands taller, letting the man slump on the ground, and he reaches for the knife at his thigh.

“Wait! I - I told you… where they went!”

“I was going to kill you whether you told me or not, you Nazi fuck.” Is all he says before he slashes the knife, ending the bastard’s life.

Leaving the man’s home, he rounds a corner into the night and replaces his knife, taking out a pen in one of his many pockets as well as your list.

He crosses off Antonov, looking down at the four remaining names, two of which were the men that did this to you.

He takes a breath, the layers of leather and kevlar straining over his muscles as he sighs. He never thought he’d be hunting people down like this, Nazi or not. He never thought he’d have this black mask and these goggles over his eyes. But he also never thought HYDRA would touch the love of his life the way they did; never thought they’d put you in that chair.

So, now, he’s only getting revenge. It’s the least he can do after this organization has stolen his life, kept him from seeing his family forever, took his arm, gave him PTSD, gave his girlfriend PTSD and injected her with who knows what only to put her in that goddamn chair.

While he never thought he’d be in this position, they asked for it, and he’s not sorry.

On to the next name.

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes fanfictions #marvel #bucky barnes series #idk if yall know this but i love spiderman #my fav marvel character #love him more than bucky i just don't read or write for him for some reason idk i just never got into that #and the new spiderman is coming out in december !#i slowly want to incorporate characters into c2c #like i added wanda and plan to write a oneshot or two delving into her and reader meeting and getting to know each other #and then the loki series comes out in june so maybe ill play w that #im just not sure if ill adapt c2c to fatws #depends where it goes and how it ends #we'll see #anyway #yall know u can always send ideas or requests for me to play around with #thanks for reading if you made it this far

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thebibliomancer · 3 years

Text

Essential Avengers: Avengers #243: Chain of Command!

May, 1984

In this issue! The Vision takes command! Scarlet Witch fights a fire! Starfox battles bandits! And Earth’s Mightiest Heroes return from the Secret Wars!

Its one of my favorite sub-genres of comic covers! ‘Here’s a bunch of stuff going on in this issue’

Vision and his new hat make a good central element for the various other happenings to happen around. It doesn’t work quite as well as the Wizard’s control panel but its still good.

Last times on Avengers: Vision walked into an invisible wall and was stuck in a healing tube for a while. His recovery was hastened by Starfox connecting him to the Titan supercomputer ISAAC. While tube-bound, Vision detected several anomalous energy surges. Leaving his tube, Vision led the Avengers to Central Park to investigate where a large structure appeared and whisked away Hawkeye, Wasp, Thor, Captain Marvel, Captain America, and She-Hulk!

Bring them back, anomalous energy surge!

This time: Vision faces the press.

Not only have many Avengers vanished, so have the Fantastic Four, the X-Men, and others. But its too early for Heroes Reborn!

Vision: “Certain irresponsible people have gone so far as to suggest a conspiracy to rob our world of its greatest heroes, to soften us up for some imagined invasion. Those are just rumors!”

Well, I didn’t think that before but I certainly am now!

Who let Vision be the person speaking to the press?

Apparently Vision did as he’s named himself the chairman in absence of Wasp.

What, Scarlet Witch doesn’t get the nod? She’s been with the team longer.

One reporter, not at all soothed by Vision’s insistence that there’s definitely no conspiracy going on, asks Vision to comment on reports of an alien invasion out of West Virginia.

Since Vision hasn’t received confirmation about the alien wraith menace, he basically tells the press ‘yeah i’ve heard of that but can’t really comment. BUT I can confirm that the Avengers are going to meet with a bunch of people from the National Security Council which I assume is going to be about the alien wraiths but who can really say!’

Watching this press conference on Air Force One, Henry Peter Gyrich says a swear.

Henry Peter Gyrich: “@#$%$ android!! Why doesn’t he give them our location and air speed while he’s at it?!”

Mr. Sikorsky points out that the meeting isn’t exactly classified and that the Washington Post reporter would have mentioned it if Vision hadn’t.

But Gyrich is still peeved because he thinks Vision should have consulted the NSA before giving a press conference.

This makes me feel gross but Gyrich actually agrees with me that Vision isn’t doing a great job of allaying people’s fears with this press conference.

Reporter: “If worse comes to worse, how do you plan to deal with the potential for civil unrest?”

Vision: “In the same way the Avengers have always dealt with it. We have always been strongly supportive of civil authority at all levels -- and we’re not about to change our position now! The public should not feel that they are unusually threatened in the current situation!”

Ironically, this press conference is being played on a tv at a bank that is currently being robbed. And there’s a bunch of hostages who probably feel unusually threatened in the current situation.

But the irony giveth and takeith away.

When TV Vision says “Never let it be said that the Avengers abandoned their responsibilities to --” Starfox shows up to punch some bank robbers.

Probably thinking ‘oh thank god, some dumb adventure finally.’ He just wants to punch people and have adventures.

And punch some bank robbers he does do, until one of them takes a woman hostage and says he’ll shoot her if Starfox doesn’t let him walk out the door.

Annnnnnnd.

Yeah. Uh.

Starfox does a thing?

His head glows pink and the bank robber’s head glows pink and he suddenly can’t stop laughing and now he’s Starfox’s best friend.

My god, he can make people drunk with his mind?? So this is his secret power!

Truly, he is the mightiest Avenger...

Anyway, Starfox turns his new best friend over to the cops, showing he’s no friend at all, and then flies off.

The giggly bank robber staying giggly as he obligingly walks into the police van, weirding out the cops.

Meanwhile, the Avengers press conference at the Avengers Mansion ends.

A reporter: “Psstt! Do you believe any of that”

Another reporter: “Suurre, just like I believed that Nixon wasn’t a crook!”

Wow, sweet politics dunk.

Geez, Vision, you got politics dunked on. You did not convince people in that press conference at all...

Vision: “It did not go as I’d hoped! It is the duty of these people to probe and question, but by the manner of their questioning, I could tell they didn’t accept my reassurances. If their reaction is a common one, my speech may have done more harm than good.

He floats up through the ceiling, giving Mockingbird a startle.

They have a talk to establish that Sue, Franklin, and Alicia from the FF books are staying with the Avengers due to the rest of the FF catching a bad case of disappearing.

Vision has invited Mockingbird to stay with the Avengers until they find out what happened to Hawkeye.

Mockingbird: “Look, Vision, don’t give me false hope just because I’m a newlywed. Level with me... Is there any chance that Hawk’s still alive?”

Vision: “This is not the first time Avengers have disappeared. There is always hope.”

He’s got a point. The Collector for one is constantly collecting the Avengers. Sure, he’s dead now but this is a superhero universe.

Vision then floats up through another ceiling, giving Mockingbird another startle.

Mockingbird: I will never... never get used to that!

Vision floats up into the communications center where Scarlet the Wanda Witch is monitoring the monitors. She tells him that there’s been no more news on the disappearances.

Vision: “Then we must draw encouragement from the fact no bad news has been received.”

Scarlet Witch: “I didn’t say no bad news had come in! Agents Gyrich and Sikorski radioed that they’ll be arriving on schedule and they want to see you right away! Gyrich didn’t sound happy.”

Hahahahahahahahah. I love that Gyrich arriving on schedule is bad news. Because he’s the worst.

Wanda also updates Vision on her progress in contacting reserve and inactive Avengers to help cover the sudden personnel shortage.

She’s contacted Black Panther, Wonder Man, the Falcon, and Black Knight who are standing by for an emergency alert. She hasn’t been able to contact Hercules or Black Widow.

Huh. Wonder what they’re up to. I was sure that the Champions book was dead by this point.

She offers to contact Quicksilver but Vision tells her to hold off.

He asks her where Starfox is and she tells Vision that he went out to handle that bank robbery thing we saw him handle.

Vision: “That’s excellent! Now more than ever, the Avengers must maintain a high level of visibility! And responding to day-to-day emergencies is an ideal way to do it! Stopping a bank robbery accomplishes more than a dozen news conferences!”

Especially one of your conferences, zing!

Sorry, Vizh! It was just really bad!

A fire alarm comes in over the monitors and Scarlet Witch runs off to handle it. Because she was handling it on the cover. It wouldn’t do to create a time paradox.

As soon as Wanda leaves, Vision slouches down into a chair in his Visiony way and consults the giant holographic head of ISAAC, the great and powerful.

There’s so many giant heads in this book lately.

ISAAC has apparently kept the link to Vision going since Starfox hooked the two of them up. Vision seems okay with the fact that a supercomputer is linked to his brain.

Vision: “That explains the greater memory capacity I’ve felt lately!”

And with the fact that its a two-way street, with Vision having access to ISAAC’s data... and vice versa.

Vision is smiling and everything seems to be looking up but this still bodes.

Anyway, the synthezoid bemoans that the disappearance of half of the Avengers has allowed him to rise to a position of authority but that it doesn’t seem to matter.

Vision: “I must lead a team of respected Avengers, if I am to meet my goals. But our most revered members are missing. A new team could be assembled -- but without Thor or Captain America behind me, the public will never accept what I have in mind.”

ISAAC: “You reason people will not fully trust an artificial man, a synthezoid such as yourself. But you need not convince all of them... only a few select individuals!”

Vision: “Of course! And in my expanded capacity, I have the means to do just that!”

Um.

Umm.

Seems shady.

Seems shadier that the ‘means to do just that’ involves intangibling to the electronics laboratory.

MEANWHILE ON THE MOON

Love saying that. Thank you, comics.

Meanwhile on the moon, Quicksilver and Crystal have a household discussion.

They decided not to expose Perfectly Human Baby Luna to the terrigen mist in The Thing #3 but none of the Inhumans have experience with human babies. And Crystal has decided that what she really needs is a “good down-to-earth nanny!”

Literally, a nanny from Earth. But one that can deal with Inhuman society.

Quicksilver muses that he may know just such a person.

It’s Bova, isn’t it? It better be Bova.

But are Inhumans really so incapable when it comes to human babies? There’s a lot of Inhumans that aren’t externally mutated at all. Wouldn’t a human baby just be easier to care for?

And do the Inhumans really expose their babies to the mists? Based on Inhumanity event, it doesn’t matter when a latent Inhuman is exposed, they’ll develop powers anyway. So why not wait until they can walk and talk?

Your society is silly, Inhumans!

Meanwhile, over at the fire, there is a fire. Right in the heart of midtown Manhattan, a place you wouldn’t generally want to be on fire.

Scarlet Witch offers to help but the fire chief on site is skeptical about what she could do to help.

She quickly confirms that there are no civilians in the building and that the firefighters caught inside are wearing oxygen masks and tells the firefighters to keep hosing down the buildings.

Then she gets to her witchy work.

Using the awesome and OP power of probability manipulation, she manipulates the probability that all the oxygen in the area will just decide to not go near the fire.

OP AF.

But its a big thing to do so she can’t do it indefinitely. So she tells the firefighters to hose the buildings to drop the temperature so it doesn’t reignite when the oxygen rushes back in.

I do love how OP probability manipulation is. Without even needing to be straight up reality alteration!

People complaining that Wanda is too powerful to write around, she can sit comfortably in the ‘can move all the gas around but it takes effort’ level!

Do Anything powers makes her a good wild card for whatever nonsense you need to happen and one of the more powerful Avengers without being so powerful that she’s difficult to write around in a team context.

Anyway, as foreshadowed, Gyrich and Sikorski arrive and Gyrich immediately gets to Gyriching, complaining that it was too easy for him to access the mansion with but a simple card swipe.

Henry Peter Gyrich: “See here, Jarvis, it’s not that I don’t appreciate courtesy, but no one should be granted entrance without a security check!”

Jarvis: “Indeed, sir! Anyone might steal your card! That is why the two of you were scanned by a dozen or more devices by the time you passed our gates. You’ll be happy to know that your identities were verified. Otherwise our defensive systems would have dropped you where you stood!”

Sikorski: “D-dropped?”

Haha, eat shit, Gyrich.

Jarvis leads the two to meet Vision in the electronics laboratory.

Vision has. Made an interesting fashion choice.

You’ve seen it on the cover and boy does it also happen in the book.

Vision explains that the hat is some testing equipment he made to check the hardware after his recent time stuck in a tube. But its all good. He’s operating in peak condition and feeling amazing.

Gyrich isn’t impressed or assuaged and asks Vision if he was trying to start a panic with his press conference.

Vision: “Admittedly, I may not be the Avengers’ best spokesman, but, given the circumstances, I was all we had! I do appreciate and understand your concern, though, and I’m glad you’re both here. As you said, we’ve got a lost to discuss!

Vizh, you’re going to get the Avengers operating out of city buses again.

Meanwhile back over at the fire, while the fire chief is thanking Wanda for her help, a big flash lights up the sky, just like when the Avengers were spirited away last issue.

Wanda commandeers a police car to drive her to Central Park. You can do that when you’re an Avenger and have A1 (steak sauce?) priority.

Starfox also spots the flash while flying around the city and Mockingbird spots it from the Mansion.

In Central Park, on the exact spot where the six Avengers vanished, five of them plus Iron Man return. Also that large structure from before reappears too.

Only one issue and several days in-universe and the Avengers are already back! Minus She-Hulk. Where the hell is She-Hulk.

Iron Man (I’m assuming Rhodey) immediately takes off to go do Iron Man stuff. I think his armor has changed but I haven't been following the Iron Man book close enough to know for sure. I just don’t think the armor usually has little shoulder antenna.

The Avengers that were headed towards the giant flash start arriving for the happy reunion. Since Mockingbird was right across the road, she arrives first and throws herself into Hawkeye’s arms.

Awww.

Scarlet Witch asks the heroes returned where the hell they were and Cap says

Captain America: “You can find out all about it in the Secret Wars limited series, on sale soon!”

Naw, just kidding.

He says he’ll Explain It All when they get back to the Mansion. Because for reasons, he’s decided its best that the public not know about the Secret War.

Probably so the event’s title makes sense? Yeah, probably.

The cops that brought Wanda to the park go uhhhh but we need to take statements about where you’ve been so Cap(tain America) flashes his Avengers card which means he can do what he wants.

Captain America: “I’m afraid that any statements we make must be submitted at the federal level first. You understand.”

And the cops go yeah that sounds legit.

BUT WHAT ABOUT SHE-HULK?

Well, she joined the Fantastic Four, of course.

Wanna know why?

Captain America: “You can find out all about it in the Secret Wars limited series, on sale soon!”

Yeah, we don’t get any more information except that she’s taking the Thing’s place on the foursome.

What happened to Ben Grimm?

Captain America: “You can find out all about it in the Secret Wars limited series, on sale soon!”

It be like that.

So this isn’t the narrative reason but here’s the doylist reason. When Stern and Byrne were collaborating on that Annihilus story, Byrne decided he liked writing She-Hulk and that he wanted her. Stern apparently was cool with this and the character was shifted from one team to the other.

A couple years later, Byrne is going to write the Sensational She-Hulk series which sets the tone for the character. But based on an FF liveblog a friend is doing, Byrne does not hit the stride with She-Hulk while she’s in that book.

I’m a bit annoyed because I was really enjoying her in Avengers.

In a bit of a sad comedic beat, cabs still don’t want to stop for the seven foot green woman, even now that she’s wearing an FF uniform.

She-Hulk returns to Avengers Mansion for the post-event debriefing meeting where she runs into Captain Marvel looking melancholic.

Monica has come to a decision after being whisked away to an event for several days.

Captain Marvel: “I called my parents to let them know I was okay... In case they wondered where i was lately... and there was no answer!”

She-Hulk: “I take it they don’t know about your life as Captain Marvel yet?”

Captain Marvel: “Not yet. And after all we went through -- in that insane Secret War, I definitely want them to know, but -- !”

She-Hulk: “You’re not sure how to tell them?”

Captain Marvel: “Yeah.”

Yeesh, I wonder how Spider-Man dealt with disappearing for several days. He’s always on the knifes edge of his life just falling apart completely.

Captain Marvel and She-Hulk join the rest in the main assembly hall. Wasp and Vision are off in a private meeting. He was handling chairmen duties and making decisions and such while she was gone so she probably needs to debrief him personally.

As Hawkeye points out, the Avengers have two chairmen now and nine members.

Minutes later, Wasp and Vision emerge from the... I dunno, sub-assembly hall? Secondary assembly broom closet? Wherever they went to have a just them talk.

Wasp calls the meeting to order.

... And then immediately steps down as chairwoman??

;___;

RIP Wasp’s Totally Sweet Time Leading the Avengers, issue #217 - #243.

T-twenty-six issues isn’t a bad run...

I guess someone else should get the chance.

Like Vision. Who Wasp nominates.

Cap’s Biggest Fan Hawkeye nominates Captain America instead but Cap defers. His civilian career (cartoonist, I think?) has been pretty hectic.

So how about second her nomination of Vision then hmmmmmm Wasp suggests.

And that’s how Big Plans Vision gets voted the new chairman.

And he’s got big plans!

First! Since Thor and She-Hulk are going to be too busy doing Thor and Fantastic Four stuff to be active Avengers but are too cool to just completely cut from the roster just because Byrne decided he gets She-Hulk now, Vision creates a new type of Avengers status.

Vision: “I propose the establishment of a special ‘detached membership’ status. You would function as active members when you were available, and reservists when you were not.”

She-Hulk: “Hey, that sounds ideal.”

Thor: “Indeed!”

Everybody’s happy! Except Hawkeye because he can count and he’s still counting to seven when the max roster is supposed to be six. And he’s got a bad feeling that he’s unlucky number seven!

But Vision’s big plans don’t stop at saying that She-Hulk and Thor can pitch in whenever they’re around.

He’s also proposing the creation of a second team on the west coast. Some kind of............. West Coast Avengers, perhaps.

Between Gyrich and Sikorski arriving for the meeting with Vision and now, Gyrich has managed to get reassigned to new duties. Somehow.

Anyway, that means his understudy Mr. “I hate the superhero genre” Sikorski is their new NSA liason.

Mr. Sikorski: “I have spoken at length this afternoon with both the Wasp and the Vision, and I am prepared to offer full governmental backing for the establishment of a West Coast branch of the Avengers. I’ve been convinced that it’s a... logical solution. Perfectly logical!”

Weird to have an ellipses but okay.

And the person Vision has chosen to lead this new team?

None other than Hawkeye!

Oh, Clint, your dream is coming true and all you had to do was be vaguely antagonistic and obnoxious in the vicinity of the Avengers off and on for years to establish yourself!

Vision: “You’ve had years of experience as an Avenger, and you’ve worked with nearly everyone who’s ever been a member. You and Mockingbird can relocate quickly...”

In fact, its imperative that he do! He do relocate and get the West Coast team up and running ASAP!

Vision: “Mr. Sikorski has shown me frightening evidence of a new threat to freedom worldwide! Unless we prepare ourselves, this planet could be overrun by an alien race known as -- THE DIRE WRAITHS!!”

Huh. I guess that journalist was onto something.

And I guess its ROM time?

No. We had a Secret Wars, remember? And while that was doled out over a year, I’m going to go a little faster.

So next time, some Secret Wars.

Although, it was just the one war actually.

Follow @essential-avengers because you think I’m a cool person. Like and reblog because you have your reasons.

#Avengers #the Vision #Scarlet Witch #the Wasp #Starfox #Mockingbird #Hawkeye #Thor #Captain America #Iron Man #James Rhodes #Captain Marvel #Monica Rambeau #She Hulk #Essential Avengers #essential marvel liveblogging

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songtoyou · 4 years

Text

Epiphany - Part Three

Paring: Luke Crain x Female Reader

Chapter Rating: PG-13

Word Count: 3,136

Warnings: Talks of drug use and recovery.

Description: Life has never been easy for Luke Crain. After the death of Nell, Luke realizes that he needs to make some changes. He decided to stay in Massachusetts and attend rehab. He was determined to remain on his path of sobriety. When you get assigned to be Luke’s sponsor, it opens a new door of possibilities that neither you nor Luke expected.

A/N: We learn a little bit more about the Reader as she heads to Shirley's for dinner. Awkwardness occurs, but Reader slowly realizes she may have deeper feelings for Luke or possibly develop feelings for him. Which she quickly dismisses. This chapter was very easy to write. It was like the words just flowed out of me and onto the screen. That usually never happens. I think it helps that Luke is such an interesting character to write for, along with the other Crain siblings.

Note: Italics represent the past or past conversations.

Feedback is wonderful. It is nice knowing if people are actually liking this fic.

I do not permit my work to be posted on any other site without my permission.

~Hill House – 1992~

“Mommy,” spoke Nellie.

“What is it, sweetie?” asked Olivia. She placed her book down to give her youngest child her undivided attention.

Nell got up on her mother’s lap and said, “This house is too loud.”

“Too loud? What do you mean it is too loud? Are you talking about all of the work daddy is doing to fix the house?” Olivia questioned. Nell’s statement took her by surprise.

Shaking her head, Nell explained that it was not the renovations that Hugh was doing that made the house loud. “At night, there are noises. Dogs are barking. You can hear the floorboards squeak like someone is up walking the halls at night. When Luke and I checked to see if anyone was up, there was no one. Everyone was in bed. It isn’t just me who thinks this house is weird. Luke says it has a smell.”

“Sweetie, this is an ancient house. Weird noises and bad smells are bound to occur,” replied Olivia earnestly. “Trust me. There is nothing in this house that can hurt you. Not while your daddy and I are around. We will always protect you and your brothers and sisters. Okay.”

Nell looked up at her mother with her big hazel eyes and said, “You promise?”

“Pinky promise,” Olivia assured and held up her right pinky. With their little fingers intertwined, Olivia rested her head on Nell’s forehead. No one could deny that Olivia loved her children very much. They were her whole world. She would do anything to keep them safe from harm. Little did anyone know how far Olivia would go to keep her children safe.

“Fuck,” Luke let out and sighed. He was currently working on his final essay for his creative writing class. The assignment was to write a 1,000 essay about an event that happened in their life and turn it into a story. Luke was chop full of moments to choose from; however, he was unsure if writing about his mother and sister was appropriate. He talked with his instructor about his reservations on the subject. He did not want to be accused of copying Steve on writing about Hill House. To Luke, that time at Hill House was just as much his story as it was Steve’s, or Theo’s and Shirley’s.

But with the right encouragement and support, Luke felt more comfortable writing about his past. It turned out to be very therapeutic. He was finally able to complete the fourth step of recovery: ‘Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.’ He sent letters to each of his siblings, expressing his gratitude for their support and apologized for his past behavior of lying, untrustworthiness, and addiction. Shirley and Theo were appreciative of the letters, along with Steve. All three of the older Crain continued to express to Luke that they were proud of him for staying on the straight and narrow path. The Crain siblings knew they all had a clean slate to restore their once broken family.

Unfortunately, there would be times where Luke worried that everything would come to a crashing halt. That he would wake in the Red Room once again. That all of this could be fake like His sobriety, the strengthened relationships with his siblings, being in school, and most of all, his friendship with you. The Red Room was the stomach of Hill House, as Nell mentioned. It would eventually eat anything and everyone that came into its residence. It was how the world between the dead and the living coexisted.

He brought this fear up the day before you were to come over to Shirley’s house for dinner. The one thing Luke really appreciated about you was that you always validated his feelings. You never doubted his feelings or worries. You never tried to gaslight him or thought he was making stuff up. It was refreshing to have someone believe him right off the bat. Well, besides Nell. She always believed him. You sent Luke some articles about how the brain can differentiate between reality and imagination. It was intriguing for Luke to read about the way the brain processes information. You shared that you had the same issues early on in your sobriety.

“For me, while I am dreaming, the way I can differentiate that it is not reality is that sometimes I have trouble walking in dreams. It is like my legs are refusing to work,” you told Luke. “I looked up what that meant, and it indicates that I am hesitant in proceeding forward in situations or I am trying to distance myself from facing certain life experiences, which didn’t surprise me. We all have obstacles that we don’t always want to face.”

“That is good to know. Lately, I have been dreaming that I can’t dial a phone. Like, I am trying to put in the number but keep making mistakes, or I can’t remember the number. It’s weird. What do you think that means?” asked Luke.

You told him to hold on as you looked up his concern. “It says that ‘the non-working phone or the inability to dial the phone indicates a breakdown of communication. Or the feeling of being distant or not heard when you need help. Is this the first time having these dreams?” you asked Luke.

Letting out a sigh, Luke responded, “Yes, which is weird to have them now. I don’t feel like I am having trouble communicating. Maybe it is my self-consciousness that has some issues it still needs to resolve. Before that, I would dream that my teeth would fall out. I actually dreamt about them falling out last night.”

“I used to have those dreams too. There are different meanings behind teeth falling out in dreams. Sometimes it is associated with loss, important life changes, a feeling of powerlessness, or stress, anxiety, depression, and poor personal health,” you provided to Luke.

Luke chuckled. “I have experienced all of that and more. I guess it is part of the course.”

To say that Luke had some anxiety about tonight's dinner with Shirley, Theo, and you would have been an understatement. The last thing Luke wanted was a repeat of the dinner with Joey, Steve, and Leigh. Granted, his sister-in-law was nice that night; however, his brother, not so much. Of course, that was when he and Steve did not have the best of relationships. This would be different. You definitely were not like Joey and his sisters…well…that is why he put forth some rules.

He was watching Shirley move back and forth in the kitchen as she prepared dinner. She asked Luke about possible meals that you would like so she could make something that you would enjoy. Luke shared that you liked almost everything and that you were not too picky of an eater. Shirley decided on making lasagna as it was Kevin and her kids' favorite dishes of hers. As she was already finishing up the last layer, Luke did not have the heart to inform Shirley that lasagna was not one of your favorite foods.

Soon, Theo walked through the front door of Shirley's house carrying additional groceries. "I got the wine. It's red. Your friend can drink wine?" she asked Luke as she set down the bags on the counter.

Luke mentioned that you do not drink. "Oh well, more for me," teased Theo.

Shirley confirmed with Luke that you would bring dessert. She wanted everything nice for tonight. She knew this was important for Luke, and he wanted everything to go right just as well.

"Now that you both are here, can we go over some ground rules for tonight," said Luke.

"Come on, Luke. It's just dinner with your sponsor," Theo spoke up.

"No, Theo, this isn't just dinner with my sponsor. This is dinner with my friend. Someone who I have come greatly respect and admire. I don't want either of you…to make her feel uncomfortable in any way. No interrogations or psychoanalyzing," Luke ordered.

"Okay, Luke. We promise not to step out of bounds," Shirley assured. "Right, Theo?"

Holding up the girl scout's sign, "I, Theodora Crain, pledge not to embarrass you in any way."

As Shirley and Theo stifled laughs about their little brother's worry, Luke leaned against the counter and contemplated on the next thing to tell them. He decided to the best way was, to be honest with them. Luke interrupted his sisters' conversation to inform them that he told you about Hill House…about everything that occurred.

"You what?" Shirley questioned, unsure of what he actually meant. "What do you mean? What did you share?"

"When you say everything…do you mean everything, everything?" asked Theo with a hint of irritation in her voice.

"She knows what really happened to mom, Nell, and dad," Luke replied and mentioned that it was important for him to tell you the truth. "I don't regret it. If the two of you are upset, then be upset with me. Just don't take it out on her, okay." He wanted Shirley and Theo to understand that you meant well. That you had no ulterior motives. "This isn't like Nell and her shrink. I know, deep down, that you were worried about that being a possibility, Theo."

The light slam of the oven door made Theo and Luke turn their attention to Shirley. "Okay, lasagna is in the oven. It should be done when our guest arrives. Luke, do you mind setting the table. Theo, start making the salad," Shirley ordered. This night was important for Luke, and by golly, she was going to see that it goes accordingly.

“Mom…Dad, I’m heading out. I should be home by 9 o’clock or earlier if tonight goes south,” You shouted while putting on your jacket. Before you could grab your keys and head out the door, your mother popped in suddenly from the kitchen.

“Honey, where are you going?”

You could not stop the annoyed sigh from escaping. “I told you. I’m going over to Luke’s for dinner tonight. I have told you and Dad this many times already. Now, I don’t want to be late…”

“Hold up there, kiddo. You don’t forget this,” Your dad emerged with the cake box.

“Oh shit! Thanks. I can’t believe I almost forgot the dessert.” You grabbed the cake box and made your way back towards the front door.

“Call us when you get there, sweetie,” requested your mother.

“I’ll text you when I get Shirley’s house, okay. Now, I have to get going.”

“Ask Luke if he would like to come over here for dinner,” your mother offered. “I know your father, and I would love to meet him.”

“Mom now is not the time. I’m out of here. Love you both. Don’t wait up,” You replied and walked out the door to your car. Letting out another sigh, you started the care and proceeded to drive to Luke’s.

You knew that your parents meant well. They loved you very much. While there were times both could be very overbearing, you understood where it came from and could not fault them for it. It was just them being protective of you. At the end of the day, they would always worry about you. The constant worries your mother and father felt towards you could be jarring at times. All you wanted for them was to trust you fully. However, it shamed you the number of times you let them down. Luke shared with you the troubles he had with completing the fourth step. You told him you were not able to tackle it until the first year of your sobriety.

“We have all done shitty things to the people we love. To the people who stood by us while we walked all over them. I’m surprised my parents stood by me for so long. Sometimes I wished they had given up and just let me go to die on the streets,” you revealed honestly to Luke the night after going to the movies. “They didn’t deserve the constant Hell I put them through. I because I couldn’t handle certain…things… feelings…. emotions. The problem was…that I felt weak if I wasn’t taking heroin. Shooting up made me feel invincible. Like, nothing could touch me. I guess you know that feeling all too well, huh, Luke?”

“Yeah. I guess that is why we choose to shoot up in the first place. To not feel like ourselves. In some cases, to not feel at all. I know for me, it was to get some sense of peace,” Luke countered truthfully.

For some reason, it felt like it took longer than usual to arrive at Shirley’s house, which would have normally taken ten minutes. Every traffic light seemed to turn red as soon as you got closer. When you finally reached your destination, a quick text was sent off to your parents to let them know you arrived safely. Gathering your bag and cake box, you exited the car and walked the front doorsteps. You rang the doorbell and waited.

Thankfully, it was Luke who answered the door with a sweet smile on his face.

“Hi,” he said and ushered you to come inside.

“Hey,” you replied, wiping your shoes before stepping in the house.

You handed over the cake box to Luke, who then asked, “What kind of dessert did you bring?”

“Baklava cheesecake. It is a new item at the bakery that we’re selling.”

“Sounds really good. Uh, look, just fair warning,” Luke began to speak in a whisper, “Shirley made lasagna. I hope that is okay. I know it’s…”

“It’s fine, Luke. I can muster up the courage to eat lasagna for one night,” you answered with a light chuckle.

As you hung up your coat and bag, Shirley and Theo entered the foyer. Both said hello, and Theo introduced herself. Luke stood back as he eyed his sisters closely to make sure they both remained on their best behavior.

“It is nice to meet you finally. Luke has been keeping you all to himself, so we are glad you could come over,” Theo mentioned while leading you into the kitchen to get you something to drink. Shirley took the cake box from Luke and followed the two women.

“Oh wow!” exclaimed Shirley when she opened the box. “This looks really good. Did you make this?”

“No. Sophie, the owner of the bakery I work at did. She does most of the actual baking. I help with cake decorations. She’s a longtime family friend, so I work there to help out when she needs it,” you shared as Theo handed you a glass of iced tea.

“How about we go sit in the living room,” Shirley instructed everyone out of the kitchen. “We have about fifteen minutes until dinner is ready.”

You sat next to Luke on the loveseat while Shirley and Theo took the couch. An awkward silence ensued, with no one really knowing what to say. You could feel each of the Crain siblings’ emotions, which ranged from curiosity from Theo, indifference from Shirley, and anxiousness from Luke. You felt a strong urge to reach out to Luke to help calm him, whether it be holding his hand, linking your arm with his, or placing a gentle hand on his knee. It was a weird feeling for you to have since Luke was not only your friend but mentee. Now a sense of guilt took over you.

You were Luke’s sponsor. There is no way you could develop any deeper feelings for the man sitting next to you other than friends. It would be unethical. Luke trusted you. Breaking his trust or misguiding him would lead to a horrible conclusion. It could lead to the ultimate betrayal. When you felt a pair of eyes on you, it made you look up to see Theo staring as she took sips of her drink. You could tell she was assessing you in any way she could. You noticed the gloves on her hands, which reminded you of the story Luke shared about Theo’s ability to feel emotions through touch. You are tempted to say, “fuck it!” and give Theo your hand for her to take to get it out of the way.

“So…,” Shirley spoke up when she said your name, “Luke shared with us that you attend Middlesex Community College as an art major.”

“Yes. Studio art, to be exact. My mom really would rather I do graphic design, though. So, I might do that when I get this degree program wrapped up,” you revealed.

Awkward silence resumed. “I have some of her artwork,” Luke piped up. “It is amazing. Like, crazy good.”

“Where did you learn how to draw?” Shirley asked.

“It was just something that I always liked doing. It helped calm me when I was…not feeling the best. I guess during my stints at different rehabs throughout the years helped…build up my artistic skills,” you replied.

You noticed Luke began shaking his right leg at the mention of rehab. You reached out to touch his left arm, and he looked over at you. “Have either of you read any of Luke’s stories he has written for school?” you asked Shirley and Theo.

“No!” Theo piped in and added, “Our little brother tends to keep his writings all to himself.”

“Well, from what he has shared with me, he is an excellent writer,” you stated. “Did you tell them about the ‘A’ you got on your last assignment?”

“Uh…no. I hadn’t,” Luke said and immediately got up from the couch. “Hey, shouldn’t dinner be done, Shirley?”

“Oh shoot. That is right. Let me go get the lasagna out of the oven.”

“I’ll get the salad and bread on the table,” asserted Theo and followed Shirley back into the kitchen.

Luke let out the breath he was holding and turned to look at you.

“Are you okay, Luke?” you asked him.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Why?”

“You three seem a tad on edge. Is there any safe topic your family can talk about?” you enquired.

“Not really. I know them. They want to ask you about your addiction story and how you overcame it…all that stuff.”

“You know what…fuck it. Let’s you and I control the conversation by talking about the things we talk about, like movies, television shows, music, books…all of the stuff we talk about regularly. If your sisters join in, then that is great—the more, the merrier. But let’s not waste a whole evening because we’re worried about what your sisters think of me…or you,” you encouraged Luke.

Letting out another breath, Luke agreed. “Okay, that sounds good. You take the lead, and I’ll follow.”

“Will do,” you smiled and pushed Luke towards the dining room.

#luke crain #luke crain x reader #luke crain x female reader #luke crain x you #the haunting of hill house #oliver jackson cohen #oliver jackson-cohen

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fairycosmos · 3 years

Note

TW selfharm

this is probably going to sound so weird but i have no one to talk to, do you ever get so numbingly bored and emotionless but not really that you just feel the need to hurt yourself to like, i dont know, restart your brain? I've been clean from selfharm since early spring but I just can't stop the desire i have to just hurt myself, I even want to just cut my face to see something different in the mirror. And it's not to escape anxiety or anything I'm just so bored and I dont know lol

it doesn’t sound weird at all omg i promise. total apathy is a dangerous thing nd it can be very symptomatic of certain mental illnesses, as is the desire to self harm in the first place ofc. it doesn’t always have to be an escape or a soothing technique or a way to express self loathing. sometimes it’s simply a way to engage your brain, to have something - anything at all - hold your attention and give you some, for lack of a better word, entertainment for a while. ive heard from a lot and i mean a LOT of ppl who feel similarly. also just wanted to say it’s beyond fkn amazing that you’ve been in recovery since spring omfg!! that’s no easy achievement at all nd yet you’ve managed it, proving that no matter what your brain likes to tell you, you do not need self harm to function or cope or even to distract yourself with. you’ve got a whole life and personhood outside of the habit. you can acknowledge that the desire is there while also acknowledging that you don’t need to act on it. i know it’s much much easier said than done to truly implement that into your daily routine though, don’t get me wrong. im not trying to undermine that, but i do have a lot of genuine belief in you esp with the level of self awareness you have. did you ever talk to anyone about the self harming, or about what you’re going through? i understand if that’s not an option right now but if it ever becomes one, i really do encourage it. just having someone to be honest with and externalising your thoughts can help you see them in a whole new light, plus most professionals will be willing to work on a care plan that will include a whole host of preventive measures so you don’t have to worry as much about relapsing :) i think you really have to do the work to confront the underlying causes so you can begin to heal from them, even if right now you don’t even fully understand what the are. it’s ok for it to b a process. obviously it takes time, and it may take a moment before you find a service you truly click with - and i completely understand that asking for help when you can’t seem to care that much about anything - is unbelievably difficult. but for now i just want you to know that you’re not trapped and you do have options, and that where you are right now is not where you’ll always be. even turning to a friend/family member/ journal is a step in the right direction. i really hope you’re doing ok nd that today’s felt a little lighter for you. please take care nd focus on getting through one day at a time. you do deserve support and to be helped through what you’re dealing with rn x

#sorry it wouldn’t let me link resources u can find decent helplines on google though x #tw self harm #anon

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phandom-against-onision · 4 years

Text

You have probably already informed yourself, but here is a masterlist anyway.

MAJOR CONTENT WARNINGS: BLACKFACE, SLURS, RACIST COMMENTS, CHILD PREDATORY COMMENTS, NSFW CONTENT, BEASTIALITY, TRANSPHOBIA, MISHANDLING OF MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES, OUTING AND MORE! PLEASE PROCEED WITH CAUTION.

Shane Dawson has been shown to mock black people on several occasions, saying the n word, doing blackface and creating stereotypical recurring characters.

When beginning on YouTube, Shane had a character called “Shanaynay” who was supposed to be a “ghetto-white girl”. When playing her, Shane often used ghetto stereotypes. She was a recurring character from 2008-2011. Although he has long stopped playing this character, he was continuing to sell the merch and profit off his racism as recently as last year!

He has also done blackface in his character skits, and said the n word as Shanaynay. On one of these occasions, he called an actual black woman a “n*gga bitch monkey woman”. Watch the full video for all occasions.

youtube

Here are some additional comments on this matter.

Shane Dawson has acted inappropriately with and around minors for a long time.

He has probably done this even more than his blackface, and that’s saying something.

This clip, which went around last year, contains him calling a 6-year-old child sexy and admitting to googling CP. This is from his Shane and Friends podcast, which contains a lot of explicit clips.

youtube

He has also asked his teenage fan to “show herself” and “shut up and twerk”. This is from 3:55 - 4:29 in this video.

One of the instances really going around on Twitter at the moment is him pretending to jerk off to a picture of the then-11 year old Willow Smith.

youtube

A reminder that her family has not forgiven him, so neither should you!

Honestly, there are way too many occasions of this. Please check out this Twitter thread which lists a lot of times he has made inappropriate comments and did inappropriate things.

Another very distasteful thing he has done is claim to solve the murder of an actual six-year-old child, profiting off “speaking” to her spirit.

Shane Dawson has joked about bestiality on camera multiple times.

This is just straight-up weird. It went around a lot last year, but in case you’ve forgotten, here is a playlist of a few clips. He also rubbed his face in his dog’s crotch but I can’t find a direct video of that by itself.

Shane Dawson is transphobic as hell.

Watch this full video for the details where he uses trans as an insult and says tr*nny while knowing it is a derogatory term.

youtube

Shane Dawson has promoted and supported terrible people and channels.

This has been a long-time criticism of his viral documentary series, but it is still important to remember.

Let’s start with the problems with this in chronological order.

His first viral documentary series was The Truth about Tanacon.

Tanacon, to begin with, had several issues. Despite big dreams, it failed spectacularly due to lack of organisation and preparation before the event. There were many last minute changes and it generally lacked several necessities in events. Some issues were disorganised registrations, reserved meet and greets that didn’t go through the system, clashings with VidCon (a bigger event), inappropriate content creators, adversied content creators that didn’t appear, condoms in the goodie bag, lies about free tickets, no food, no room for anything, one hallway, lack of regulation in wristbands, underestimation of guests, overly expensive merch, no cooling system, no fire solutions (meaning they kicked everyone out) and it goes on.

Despite actual people suffering due to the incompetency of Tana, Shane made her out to be an innocent martyr. This gets even worse as you realise than Tana has been exposed for several racist comments throughout her YouTube career.

Shane is clearly shown to be a terrible interviewer, presenting more as a friend than someone who is willing to find the “truth” of Tanacon. Instead of learning about Tanacon from an unbiased journalist, we get an obscured version of what happened, engineered to sympathise with Tana instead of her admitting to her mistakes.

Yet, this somehow was only the beginning of the problems with the documentary series, as the next one was with Jeffree Starr.

I don’t even know where to begin with the problems with this.

Firstly, Jeffree is perhaps the most problematic YouTuber who is still popular on the website. He has been exposed as racist, sexist, supporting of rapists, terrible to fans, transphobic, ableist, fatphobic, homophobic, insensitive to suicidal people, sexualising of minors, fascist and violent. Check out this thread here for the full details and proof of these claims.

Shane is not stupid. He is aware of these controversies, but has continued to support Jeffree. When a fan called him out, he was extremely rude and was very mad, and supporting all the hate the fan was getting.

The entire documentary series is about him befriending Jeffree, and making him out to be a good person.

Jeffree should NOT be given a positive platform like this, and he should NOT be continuing to get away with being “cancelled”. So many other YouTubers have been “cancelled” for lesser things, yet Jeffree manages to always get away with it.

The next documentary series was the Jake Paul series. This is perhaps his most controversial documentary series.

Shane is not a therapist, a psychiatrist or a mental health professional. Even though he did consult some people, they are not allowed to diagnose people based on suspicions and videos. Yet, throughout the entire series, he calls Jake Paul a sociopath, and using that label to justify everything he has done.

Jake and Logan have both stirred up some of the biggest controversies on the platform, yet Shane gave them the ability to thrive. Like he did with Tana and Jeffree, he humanised him and edited it to the audience would sympathise with Jake. He has been exposed to scam his young fans, been rude to his neighbours and cast members, made light of serious disorders like anxiety, saying the n word and doing several things for clout, such as “marrying” Tana Mongeau.

As addressed in the documentary series, Alissa Violet, Jake’s ex-girlfriend, has shared her stories of physical abuse in the Team 10 mansion in private life, yet Shane did not fully address this or even mention this to Jake in the episode after. This further proves that Shane is incapable of running a documentary series with such deep themes as he will gloss over them or not address them properly.

This issue is further seen in his documentary with Eugenia Cooney.

A warning that I have not actually seen this as I have heard it contains triggering subject material which I do not wish to subject myself to in interests for my personal mental health - I am only going off the statements of experts and viewers.

In theory, this documentary could have been brilliant. After all, it is two people who have gone/is going through eating disorders and discussing it. However, experts have said that this could be harmful and it is easy to see why.

As much as I do not like Shane, I, and experts, do believe that he had good intentions behind this documentary. However, it probably would have been better if they consulted an expert regularly throughout the documentary when handling a touchy subject. After all, many of Shane’s viewers are young and/or influential, and a correct portrayal of a subject which is terrifying and real to many people watching is very important.

Here is an excerpt from this article about how he handled this:

Other fans were concerned with Cooney's safety, given that she referred to having an eating disorder in the past tense, signaling that she may not be considering further treatment.

"She certainly looks like she is physically healthier, but mentally she still seems like she's struggling a lot and she tries to cover it with her overwhelming positivity," another comment on the video says.

Experts who spoke with INSIDER — and who have not personally treated Cooney — are wary of considering Cooney's treatment a success story.

"When we are in the midst of our eating disorder we are very, very good at wearing masks. We're very good at playing a role that is very convincing and wants to let people know that we're okay," Chevese Turner, the Chief Strategy & Policy Officer for the National Eating Disorders Association, told INSIDER."A month of treatment is just barely scratching the surface of the road to recovery. While she put on a good face and was very chipper and cheerful, I'm not convinced that's what's going on inside. How do any of us know for sure?"

While both experts told INSIDER they believe Dawson had good intentions, they also expressed numerous concerns with the way the video presented the reality of eating disorders, and Cooney's recovery in particular. Turner says having Cooney share her story could be very cathartic, but she worries how much of her appearance was intended to resurrect or preserve her career."What's essentially happening is that people are bullying her online for her looks and her body and that does have an impact, it impacts all of us when that happens. For someone with an eating disorder, the impact can be devastating. I think [Dawson is] trying to help in his own way, but probably the thing that would help the most is her having more time in recovery," Turner said.

"I don't want to speculate, but obviously her success on YouTube is a driving factor to get back to work. None of us know if she's fully capable for that work and I would want to believe that the people around her who care about her most are confident that she can handle it," she continued. "I hope that they'll encourage her to take a break."

Overall, it has been shown that Shane is unfit to handle a documentary series with his evidently extremely biased views, and he should consult more professionals when editing. Although many people would argue that he has good intentions, it is possible to have good intentions while being irresponsible. Shane is aware of his large audience, and his influence over people around the globe. He should be more careful when creating a video with strong themes which many viewers may be suffering through or offended by.

Either than his documentary series, Shane is also friends with other problematic people outside it - most infamously, Trisha Paytas.

Trisha Paytas’ brand has become being extremely controversial. However, this doesn’t excuse that she has done and should not normalise her behaviours. She has been proved to be very transphobic and homophobic, as well as racist, ableist, abusive and insensitive to people with mental illnesses and disorders, notably DID. She lives to stir up drama on YouTube and more recently, TikTok. Despite being aware of this, Shane has continued to be close friends with her and excusing what she does because she’s just Trisha.

He has also openly supported far-right people on Twitter, giving harmful conspiracies a platform on his channel.

Shane Dawson has contributed to destroying growing/popular channels.

When 20-year-old growing YouTuber Bobby Burns released a video giving valid criticism to Shane Dawson, Shane featured him on his channel and pushed him as a heater.

This was not a thing which only happened once. Shane decided to continue to feature him on his channel, branding him as a hater. However, Shane’s dedicated fanbase did not like this and began to send hate to Bobby. Due to the lack of popularity, Shane stopped interacting with Bobby and didn’t feature him in any more videos without attempting to “save his career” like he has done with so many other people.

That is not to say that Bobby is faultless. I am not that familiar with his content, but I have heard that he did contribute to his channel’s demise, which makes sense. However, as a huge content creator, it was irresponsible of Shane to take a growing channel and brand him as a negative hater. He is aware of his audience, and that is important to remember. When he has such a large fanbase, he needs to be more careful with the videos he is showing them, and the characterisations of YouTubers.

However, what Shane is going under fire most recently is his involvement in the James Charles scandal last year.

Despite denial, Shane has been proved to play an important role in the “cancelling” of James last year, encouraging Tati to upload the video and making false accusations of predatory behaviour. This was highly likely done to degrade a competitor’s palette so his collaboration with Jeffree would be more successful.

Recently, he posted these screenshots on Twitter and then deleted the Tweet.

This proves his blatant immaturity. Somehow, James, the youngest of the four YouTubers involved in the scandal, has grown up the most. Shane was a part of the downfall of James, causing him to debate suicide. His defence for this was saying that he “needed to be served a slice of humble pie the size of the fucking Empire State Building”.

James Charles is not faultless, and he should not be made out to be an angel or a martyr in this situation. However, no one deserves to have suicidal thoughts, and anyone who defends this by saying that it was the humbling he needed is disgusting.

Shane Dawson attempted to out Dan and Phil for views and clout.

As a bisexual man who has opened up about his fear of being outed when he was closeted, he should be ashamed of everything he did to Dan and Phil.

Like many YouTubers at the time, Shane used the Phandom to get views and subscribers. In doing this, he objectified and sexualised Dan to his young and influential audience. Check out this video where he said that he wanted to facefuck Dan in an orgy while watching a video where he just turned 18. In that clip, he also split up Dan and Phil into “cute” and “not cute”.

It even went to the point where he asked the Psychic Twins about the sexuality of Dan and Phil. In this clip, he accuses them of queerbaiting as well as supporting the Psychic Twins’ invasive and insensitive comments about them not dressing gay enough, diss of them refusing to go on their podcast and outing and stereotyping them. This was as recent as 2017.

There are actually a lot of other reasons why Shane is under a lot of controversy at the moment. Here were my sources, and some further reading for anyone interested:

THE PROBLEM WITH SHANE DAWSON: a thread

shane dawson sexualizing young children: a thread

One of YouTube's biggest stars made a viral 'documentary' about another YouTuber's eating disorder. Experts say it could be harmful for its subject and audience.

Jake Paul tried to use looting for YouTube views, and is facing charges. These are all the ways the controversial star has stirred up outrage in the past.

Trisha Paytas’ racism

THE PROBLEM WITH JEFFREE STAR: a thread

EVERYTHING WRONG WITH TANACON: an ongoing thread

So what from here? Shane has released an apology video, but words don’t mean anything without action. Here are some suggestions for what he could do to actually show further improvement.

He could stop doing conspiracy videos in the harmful and biased style he is known for, and delete his videos despite the views.

He could stop being friends with such toxic and controversial people.

He could donate his money and time to helping out the #BlackLivesMatter movement, and to black charities/organisations in general. It does not negate what he has done, and it is not in my place to forgive him if he does do that, but it would represent his improvement.

He could formally apologise to the parents and the family of the children he has sexualised.

But he will probably not do that. However, as a hater of cancel culture, I hope that he does improve as a person. It is not my goal to send hate, but to inform people. Sending Shane death threats or insensitive comments are the last things we need. To criticise him for doing that, then doing it yourself is hypocritical and harmful. Instead, we’ll just have to inform ourselves and wait for the future.

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another-writer · 4 years

Text

Stars in the Sky

Bucky x reader

Word count: 2.2k

Warnings: tooth-rotting, cavity-inducing fluff. Kinda slow-burn. Kinda not.

Summary: You’re alerted to the fact that everyone seems to know how you feel about Bucky, except Bucky himself - you’re suddenly compelled to do something about it thanks to some quick intervention. Did I write another verison of something I already wrote because I like this better? Yes. Yes I did.

It’s a one shot on its own, but it’s sort of a part two to this guy here

You often noticed a lot about Bucky’s habits. He drank green tea to help him sleep; he flinched at the sound of white noise from the radio. And sometimes - most of the time - he would glance up at the sky, raking in the moon, usually as he entered the compound after a mission. Once you prodded his rib, walking alongside him, and pointed up where the International Space Station could be seen - you remembered to look the date up for him - snickering endearingly at his interest. Since then, looking up at the ISS sort of became a thing between you both. Another time, when you tried to impress him again, he ended up correcting you -

‘That’s Mars, kiddo. Mercury usually comes around later in the year.’

Bucky would get the most smug look across his features, the only energy he would show as you both dragged your feet along with the rest of the team into the compound for a much-needed bout of recovery. It was well-natured competition, trying to spot the planets or map out constellations, debate who was right, or which constellation was better, or working to find the ISS first knowing when it would be in orbit. You knew little, but you would stay up to read random facts, just to fuel Bucky’s ramblings. Bucky could be grounded, earthed in reality, but his eyes absorbed the stars and held them close. It was poetic to see.

‘Hey, [Y/N]?’

‘Sam,’ you replied distractedly, looking up at him from where you sat on the living room floor, Tony’s blueprints spread out in front of you.

Sam had poked his head around the door frame. ‘So, Natasha and I know you’re into Barnes and I bet her ten bucks I could get you guys to admit it. For the sake of my pride, could you just ask him out and then give me credit if Nat asks?’

You blinked and your mind went blank.

‘Wait, what?’

'I said I could do it in two weeks -’

Blood rushed to your cheeks. ‘Okay, thanks Sam,’ you said through gritted teeth.

‘- and I really wanna win this -’

‘I know,’ you seethed.

‘Oh, and we know Bucky likes you too -’

‘I know!’

Wait - what?

Your mind scrambled immediately, only just clocking what Sam had said.

‘Hey,’ Sam cheered lightly, smacking the doorframe in victory, deciding to ignore your panic-stricken state, ‘yes you do, that’s the spirit! Also, if you don’t do anything about it, I’ll resort to telling him because we can’t take the pining.’

You gathered yourself, unable to even respond to his last statement.

‘Go - away.’

But Sam was already out of sight before you could speak. You heard his footsteps began to distance, and your shoulders slumped, realising just how tense you had become in the past thirty seconds.

Was Sam right?

You and Bucky had a relatively fast friendship; you both were able somehow to encourage each other in the most childish activities which developed into a mutual trust. You told yourself you appreciated your other friends in the same way, but you couldn’t help it - you had an undeniable soft spot for Bucky. It just was never considered romantic to you because ... well, it wasn’t as if it could go anywhere. It wasn’t as if Bucky felt the same way.

You ran your hands through your hair, clutching it at the nape of your neck. There was a chance Sam was wrong. Perhaps you were unknowingly obvious in your feelings for Bucky - which was embarrassing enough - but ... Of all the bad dates or failed relationships you’d had, it wasn’t as if Bucky decided to step up to the plate.

But what if Sam was right?

The idea of pretending that Sam had never said anything to you was more attractive than acting on his words. But the worry that he would go to Bucky weighed heavily on you over the next couple of days. Needing his own space, Bucky tended to be in and out of the compound, sometimes spending nights in his own apartment not too far away. You were banking on the probability that if Sam and Bucky weren’t in proximity, you wouldn’t have to worry too much.

But you felt slightly paranoid, and you busied yourself with work that wasn’t even important to find an excuse to spend time alone. You hated how irrational you felt towards the situation. If Sam was going to out you anyway, you figured you may as well take things into your own hands.

Sam had said two weeks. You could work with two weeks.

By the time the following Thursday had rolled around, you had come up with a semi-constructed plan. Or, more of a back-up plan. If things felt like they were going south, you could easily distract him with the meteor shower that was on that night.

You managed to set everything up within an hour, early in the morning, taking a little longer to bring everything there in the first place. For the sake of your sanity, and making sure no one could walk in on your masterpiece, you asked FRIDAY to keep the top floor on lockdown (after alerting Stark, the man would freak if he’d found out somebody had done so without any warning); you were shuffling back into bed by sunrise, mind flooded with every possible scenario of what could come.

You wondered if Bucky would have said something by now if he did like you. He hadn’t, but perhaps it was for the same reason you hadn’t either - you hadn’t really allowed yourself to feel that way. Sam had pretty much opened the floodgates.

You took a deep breath and leaned back against your door, sliding to the floor so your knees were drawn to your chest and held your phone in your hand, pausing for a moment before messaging Bucky to come to the compound that night.

Around six in the evening, you had FRIDAY re-open access to the top floor and had been waiting since - purely out of nerves - for Bucky to arrive.

‘You been waiting long?’ he asked, stepping out of the elevator nearly an hour later at your agreed-upon time.

You leaned into him instrictively as he put an arm around your shoulders, walking with you to the balcony.

‘No, you’re just in time,’ you breathed, sliding the door open, walking out first and gesturing for Bucky to follow you.

‘And remind me what we’re doing up here again?’

‘We haven’t hung out in a while,’ you reasoned, ‘it’s been weird.’

‘It has been ... but if I think about it, we usually hang out closer to the ground.’

‘Just trust me on this, Barnes,’ you promised.

Or don’t, you thought. It could go horrifically wrong.

It was cold outside, but not windy or wet or humid. The air nipped at your neck and fingers and sliced through your clothes. You realised you had honed in on the strand of Bucky’s hair that had fallen by his eye, flicking slightly in the breeze and looked away at the skyline. The sky was clear, dotted with stars. You walked and maneuvered so that Bucky’s back was immediately facing what you had set up; he was looking at you curiously but didn’t seem suspicious.

‘What’s going on?’ Bucky whispered.

You put your hands on Bucky’s shoulders and pushed gently, prompting him to turn around.

The balcony overlooked multicoloured lights dotted around the otherwise pitch black city, lighting the fallen snow like stained glass, the foreground standing conspicuously against the ink sky.

There were electric lanterns placed on the coffee table and armrest of the couch emitting warm white light that spread over the couch cushions and a mountain of blankets. A reed diffuser producing the scent of a bonfire and another that smelled like roasting marshmallows sat on a smaller side table next to a record player that was currently silent. You stared at it in contempt, thinking it was stupid to have it there. God, this whole thing was stupid. But you honed in on the telescope you had worked on for three days to modify. For some reason, it grounded you; it was like a distraction.

You watched Bucky take in the surroundings; his Adam’s apple was bobbing and his lips curled into a smile as he shook his head and rubbed his forehead.

‘What is all this?’ he asked, but he sounded … contented. Gratified.

Your hands were in fists, pushed into the pockets of your hoodie. Frankly, most of you was ready to run away.

‘I know you’re to be obsessed with this stuff,’ you said. ‘There’s a meteor shower tonight ... Thought it’d be nice.’

He nodded, thoughts spiraling and eyes glazing over. ‘This - this is amazing, I - ... thank you.’

You bit your lip, smiling fondly at his reaction, perching on the arm rest of the couch with your feet on the seat. ‘What was that thing again, your mother getting you a telescope?’

‘You know that story.’

‘Yeah, but I like it,’ you reasoned, resting your chin on your hand.

Bucky looked down, and you noticed a pink tinge to his cheeks you weren’t sure was a consequence of the cold or your words.

‘When my ma piled together a few pay cheques once and bought me a telescope?’ He paraphrased your words, sitting next to you. ‘It must’ve been like this big –‘ he added, placing his hands about a foot away from each other grinning at the memory. ‘I could barely see anything from it but I -’ He paused, seeming self-concsious like he usually did - ‘I’d, like, imagine there was this city on the moon and I’d think about how I’d get there one day.’

You felt your heart flutter his story, almost overwhelmed with how endearing it was, and decided to distract yourself. You took one of the blankets and draped it over Bucky’s shoulders, not missing the knee-buckling yet contented look he was giving you. You picked up the silver thermos from the coffee table and the dark blue mug and poured out a helping of green tea.

‘Think you’d still wanna go?’ you asked, handing him the mug that he cupped with his right hand for warmth.

‘Maybe one day,’ he shrugged, sipping his tea before setting the mug on the table. ‘I kinda like it down here too much at the moment.’

The momentary silence that settled was relishing, and you shared a look with him that felt new, weighted with something - a sort of warmth - you hadn’t seen before. Or, perhaps you just hadn’t noticed it.

‘So, Barnes,’ you cleared your throat, and leading him to the telescope, ‘you are promised a clear night; Venus is in orbit and there’s a meteor shower predicted for nine o’clock right until five a.m tomorrow.’

You knew he hadn’t dropped his curiosity. To his credit, you wouldn’t have either. But nonetheless, he was transfixed as

‘What is this for?’ His tone, though somewhat calm, was becoming slightly taunting. You didn’t hear malice, but you were slowly becoming more and more self-embarrassed.

You couldn’t tell him. The words were caught in your mouth. Even if you were brave enough to let him know how you felt, you had no idea how to express it.

‘For the meteor shower,’ you shrugged, ‘why else?’

‘[Y/N] ...’

‘James.’

‘How come no one else is here?’

‘Well, not everyone’s a space nerd like you.’

You falted under his gaze, and then it clocked. Bucky was giving you that look. When he figured something out before you did, outsmarted you, when you conceded in the last debate over Perseus being a better constellation than Orion.

And you wanted to throw up. You folded your arms over your chest, feeling your entire stature become stiff.

‘Oh my God, you know.’

Bucky shrugged casually. ‘Yeah, but, I wanna hear you say it.’

You clenched your jaw, trying to stifle the embarrassment bubbling in your gut. You can settle this. You’re rational. Don’t say anything. Deflect it back to the telescope. Something. Anything.

‘Were you always this annoying, or is that new?’

Oops.

You hoped you sounded as nonchalant as you meant it.

Bucky scoffed, the laugh lines around his eyes creasing. ‘Oh Doll, ‘m sorry, c’mere,’ he snickered as he closed the distance between you, englufing you in a warm embrace.

His arms locked comfortably around your waist and you blushed furiously when you felt him kiss your forehead and rub his hand on your back soothingly. Stiffly, and slowly, you wound your arms around him, heart jolting when he took it as invitation to hold you tighter, swaying ever so slightly.

You were thrown and confused, more so than sad. You were preparing for dismissal anyway. But you still felt a hollowness. Still, it was the most physically comfortable you’d ever felt. Bucky Barnes in a blanket was a gift to the world and you didn’t want to let go.

‘In defense,’ he said, ‘I didn’t really know until today.'

'’M not actually upset Barnes, you know that,’ you said casually, though your voice was tight.

‘I know,’ he said quietly. There was an underlying uncertainty in his voice. ‘You - ... You’re braver than I am, you know that?’

You cringed at yourself. ‘Jesus, ‘m so sorry -’

‘[Y/N], no, shut up.’ He leaned back, to look at you, the distance only fractional between you both. ‘You’re doing what I couldn’t.’

Doing what he couldn’t?

‘I didn’t think I should tell you,’ he continued, not quite able to meet your gaze as his voice began to trail. ‘Things were so comfortable, I thought you’d want them to stay the same.’

Bucky was looking at you like … like you had put the stars in the sky. Like you had single-handedly painted the snow and built the city skyline. It was head-spinning and unfamiliar and it made your heart beat wildly when he leaned his forehead against yours. He paused for just a moment like silent question, before softly pressing his lips to yours, your eyes closing as you eased into the kiss, arms going around his shoulders, as if you had done a million times before, holding him until you both needed air. As he pulled away, Bucky pressed severeal kisses - once, twice, across your cheeks, making you grin helplessly before steadying him straight, catching him with glinting eyes packed with a thousand constellations.

Before long and as if fuelled by some new energy, you ushered him to look into the the eyepiece, wanting him not to miss anything. The rest of the night was taken up by Bucky searching the sky, playing around with the telescope to get a better view, and pulling you in front of him, showing you the stars and falling cosmic debris. It was breathtaking, undeniably, but you felt it was only fair to admit that the starry-eyed glaze across Bucky’s features was more distracting at that moment.

And sure, you owed Sam big time. But for now, you felt privileged in the way Bucky shared the stars with you.

#tooth rotting fluff #you may have cavities #bucky x reader #bucky barnes #mavel #marvel imagine #bucky barnes one shot #bucky barnes x reader

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brokaw22 · 4 years

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A Displaced Red Robin Chapter 18

Title: A Displaced Red Robin Author: Brokaw22 Disclaimer: The norms Rating: T Story Synopsis: Tim gets transported to the cartoon Young Justice world, and he's not sure he knows how to deal with it.

AO3

ff.net

The distinct sound of hushed voices registers only a moment before the realization that this room is far brighter than the one that he remembers passing out in. Tim doesn’t understand what that implies at first, but then he recognizes the feeling of soft sheets, the pliant mattress, and plush pillows underneath him. He has no idea why they bothered to move him out of the cave and upstairs, but Tim has certainly awoken in worse places.

He keeps his eyes closed, to avoid straining them with the light, and tries to focus on the murmured voices. Tim can discern Dick’s voice almost immediately, but he’s nearly caught off guard by the realization that Roy is with him. Tim lies still and keeps his breathing even as he listens. “Look, Dick, this isn’t your fault, and Red wouldn’t want you to blame yourself.”

“No, you don’t understand.” Tim can hear Dick pacing, but it takes him a moment to realize that the reason his gait sounds so odd is due to the fact that Dick is walking around on his hands instead of his feet. Tim would smile if he couldn’t practically feel the tension in the air. “This is definitely my fault. I’m the reason that he got stabbed in the first place, and now I’ve exasperated his condition. He should hate me. I know I do.”

Tim’s relieved that he’s propped up on so many pillows. The idea of having to force himself into a sitting position makes his chest burn. He blinks his eyes open, and then instantaneously groans at the sunlight streaming through the large window. “I don’t hate you and you shouldn’t either.” Speaking is a bit more arduous than Tim anticipated, but it’s also a necessary evil if Dick is going to insist on brooding like this.

They both rush over to his bedside, and Tim is extremely grateful that Roy stops Dick from leaping on top of him. Though, Tim does have to admit that he is genuinely stunned when both of them grab a hold of his hand. “How are you feeling?” Dick’s clutching onto him as if he’s some kind of lifeline.

“Do you need anything?” The two of them are speaking over each other and Roy’s voice is dripping with a desperation that Tim, quite frankly, doesn’t understand. His condition shouldn’t have scared them this much. After all, it’s an occupational hazard.

Tim works himself up to respond while he simultaneously attempts to process their fussing. He’s starting to wonder if he wants to ask how long he’s been unconscious or how far his recovery has been pushed back. However, with the expression on both of their faces, he figures that there are more pressing matters to deal with first.

After all, Tim’s certain that he can ask Alfred all of those questions later. Besides, it’s not as though the answers will change anything. He knows that he’s going to be stuck on bed rest for some time, and then monitored for the duration of his recovery as he slowly works up to his normal amount of activity again… no matter how inconvenient it will be.

“I’m okay for right now.” Tim refrains from taking a deep breath, knowing exactly how much pain that will cause him. “Not that I’m ungrateful for the concern, but what is Red Arrow doing here?”

Roy rolls his eyes as he pulls a chair over to sit down. “You can drop the codename. I already know that you know my name, and I think we’ve grown close enough that you can use it, and maybe give me yours.” He gives Tim a hopeful look, which Tim pointedly ignores. Roy doesn’t push it, but Tim honestly wonders how long he can get away with keeping that particular secret. “Anyway,” Roy starts again before Tim can say anything on the matter. “I just wanted to check on you and Dick, so I did what any reasonable vigilante would do and put my skills to work.”

“By which, he means he tried to sneak past our security and I had to talk Bruce into letting him stay.” Dick grins mischievously and gently nudges Tim. He knows that it most likely means that Bruce had every intention of letting Roy stay either way, but that only baffles Tim more. Everything that he’s learned about this Bruce has left him with so many questions about his own in regards to when Dick was younger. However, most of them are questions that he’s not entirely certain that the answers are necessarily something that he wants.

“Well, I’m glad that you’re here, Roy.” It feels weird to say the name out loud after so long, but Tim does have to admit it gives him a sense of normalcy after everything that has happened. “I was hoping we could discuss Superboy’s training some more. I don’t want the team suffering just because I’m grounded, and I really need someone to encourage Superman to actively help out a bit more.”

Roy shakes his head. “I’ve got that handled. Black Canary and I are working with the whole team, so you don’t need to worry about it. Superman has been making real strides toward helping Superboy, and the entire team has been training even harder since your injury. They’ll all be just fine until you get back on your feet, so the only thing that you should be doing is resting and healing.”

Tim wants to argue that he’s not exactly adept at simply resting. After all, there’s still plenty that needs to be done, but he already knows no one in this room is going to listen. He glances over at Dick, who has been suspiciously quiet for the last couple of minutes, and notices that the boy seems abruptly rather sheepish. Tim narrows his eyes as he stares the boy down. He has a feeling that he’s not going to like whatever Dick has been reluctant to share. “What’s up, Dick?”

Dick immediately begins nervously rubbing the back of his head as he shifts from one foot to the other and back again. “So… um… I… uh… I wanted to tell you something. I kinda enlisted Roy’s help with our other project.”

Tim doesn’t know how to react at first. There’s a moment when he just freezes while desperately trying to figure out why Dick would enlist anyone’s help with Jason, especially after Tim explicitly told him not to involve anyone else. “Why?” It’s the only thing that Tim can force out past the mounting rage and dread, even though there are about a thousand other things that he wants to say. However, Tim is well aware that what he’s thinking is rather unhelpful at the moment.

Roy tightens his hold on Tim even more as he all but shoves Dick to the side. “It wasn’t his fault. I wanted to know the full details about what had happened to you, so I tracked Dick down last night while he was in the middle of addressing your little side project. It wasn’t easy, I might add, but… well, I know Dick pretty well. Anyway, after he left, I sorta insisted that he fill me in. I don’t know all of the details, but I’m willing to help.”

Dick stares at him wide-eyed and pleading. It’s an expression Tim usually only sees his own brother utilize when he’s trying to steal Tim’s food. It’s a little jarring to see it now. “Don’t be mad at, Roy. It’s my fault. I should have been more careful.”

Tim breathes a heavy sigh and suppresses the wince from the action. Dick’s right, of course, he should have been more careful. After all, they’re both rather lucky that it was Roy who caught Dick while he was meeting with Jason, especially considering all of the other possibilities. Tim has a feeling that none of Dick’s actual team members would simply just go along with his plan, even if Tim has done nothing but help all of them since he arrived here. Not to mention, the last thing that they need is Batman’s attention.

Still, Tim is rather grateful that Roy is willing to help them. After all, he may just be the perfect person for the task. “I’m… I’m not mad. I was just concerned, given the circumstances. However, I think Roy’s assistance will be instrumental in our ability to move forward. After all, I think having a way to get information to and from the source without either of us being involved may be the best way to operate for the time being, especially given the current circumstances.” Tim gestures widely at himself, before continuing. “That is, of course, if you’re willing, Roy.”

Roy simply shrugs. “I already said that I was, didn’t I?”

Tim smiles a genuine grin for the first time in what feels like forever. Finally, something seems to be going his way. “Okay, so if you can make visits to our mutual friend in my place, it’ll give him even more support and take some of the responsibility off of Dick’s shoulders. Remember staying off the grid is our top priority here, so if you two can get me some hardware I can make us a few communication devices that aren’t connected to certain sources.”

Roy stares at him for a long moment before shaking his head. “That sounds suspiciously like work, and I really don’t think that any kind of work is good for you right now. I believe multiple people have emphasized how much you need to rest. I may not know you exceedingly well yet, but everything I do know has led me to believe that actually resting is not your specialty.”

Tim restrains himself from rolling his eyes. “I assure you, giving me something to do that is constructive is in everyone’s best interest if you actually want me to take it easy.”

Dick and Roy glance at each other before Dick shrugs. “He was raised by a Bruce. Maybe it is for the best.”

Roy rolls his eyes before nodding. “Fine, fine, I’ve seen enough to know that he’ll probably just sneak out and injure himself worse, given that he doesn’t exactly take actual breaks back at HQ.”

Tim wants to argue. He really does, but he also knows that he doesn’t exactly have any supporting evidence that won’t work against him here. “No reason to risk it, honestly.”

They both just kind of stare blankly at him before shaking their heads and Roy raises an eyebrow at him. “Shouldn’t you at least pretend to disagree with us?”

Tim shrugs. “Would either of you believe me?”

Neither of them hesitates before answering. “Absolutely not.”

They break into laughter before Roy declares that now that Tim is awake they’re going to have a movie marathon. Tim doesn’t even get a chance to object before the other two are rushing around getting everything into place and settling themselves down beside him with pillows practically suffocating him on all sides to keep him from jostling his injured chest. It’s warm… nearly too warm, but Tim finds that he doesn’t actually mind for once.

The break from literally everything -- no matter how forced -- is actually rather relieving. Tim feels as if he’s been going nearly nonstop since long before he landed in this world. He’s almost forgotten what it’s like to just sit still and be with the people around him without a thousand plans running through his head or a fight brewing just below the surface.

He breathes calmly without having to force himself to merely appear that way for what feels like the first time in ages. It takes Tim a moment to realize that it’s not just the forced relaxation that has him leaning just a little heavier into the pillows with a small grin on his face, but the fact that for the first time in so long Tim isn’t braced for an attack, another fight, or just desperately trying to fix something that truly has nothing to do with him.

He doesn’t know how to feel about the fact that he hasn’t felt like this since some time before he became Red Robin. Tim wonders if once he returns home if he’ll ever be this relaxed again... that is if he manages to return home. He knows that it’s probably unfair to assume that, even if he does make it home, he most likely won’t ever capture this feeling again, especially given that it’s his fault that he can’t be more relaxed back home.

After all, Dick has made great strides with Damian. Tim is utterly certain that their relationship has only strengthened since Tim’s disappearance. Not to mention, Tim is well aware that his friends would gladly drag him into a movie night and rant fest if he would just let them, but… well, things like this just always seem out of reach at home.

After all, there’s always something to be done. There’s always some mission that specifically Tim can do. It’s true that, while it may not be a task that only Tim can do, it’s usually some undertaking that Tim is more than capable of accomplishing, especially when no one else will do it.

Tim thinks that perhaps he should focus on other less distressing things, especially since the other two are chuckling about something that Tim has completely missed. However, he’s honestly too exhausted to force himself to participate right now. Besides, he’s certain that the other two haven’t even noticed his waning interest.

Still, he’s starting to think that perhaps his lack of contribution may be allowed or even anticipated by now. Especially since his lack of enthusiasm doesn’t seem to be dampening the other two’s enjoyment one bit. Tim’s relieved that for once he seems to be able to keep his less than pleasant machinations from disturbing the people around him. It feels as though he’s finally managed to do something right, even if Tim knows that he’s taking a victory where he doesn’t necessarily deserve one.

Abruptly, Tim’s thoughts derail when there’s a gentle knock on the door. He turns as much as the mountain of pillows around him will allow and spots Bruce slowly pushing the door open while simultaneously carrying a tray laden with various cups and bowls. He honestly was expecting Alfred, given the tenderness of the interruption. It takes every ounce of Tim’s training to suppress his bewilderment.

He contemplates what it says about him -- or perhaps, what it says about his current situation back home -- that Tim’s immediate reaction to seeing Bruce is to ponder what he did wrong. He doesn’t think that he could have possibly done anything to draw Bruce’s attention, and Tim certainly doesn’t believe that he could have done something to make Alfred feel as though he needed Bruce’s attention, so he has no idea why the man is here.

However, since neither Dick nor Roy seem even mildly surprised to see the man; Tim assumes that he’s probably the only one acting peculiar. He supposes Bruce’s presence is completely commonplace for everyone else, or, at least, it seems that way. “Good, you’re awake.” Bruce sounds genuinely happy, which normally would have Tim raising an eyebrow, but it doesn’t take a genius to figure out that Tim’s normal reactions don’t always make sense or even apply in this world. “I brought your medication.”

Tim merely nods as Bruce sets the tray down on a nearby desk. At least, he now knows that he wasn’t unconscious, nor anticipated to be unconscious, for an unreasonable amount of time. At least, that doesn’t seem to be the case if they expect Tim to actually swallow pills.

Bruce hands him a cup with a few very familiar-looking pills in it. Tim stares at it for a long moment before ingesting the medicine. He wonders if Bruce has caught on to the one thing even the team and Black Canary don’t know that he’s been doing at the HQ for the past two months.

“I presume I don’t need to tell you how important it is for you to take all of them, given your lack of a spleen.” Bruce gives Tim a very pointed stare as if he expects Tim to argue. He knows that he hasn’t exactly made the best impression with this Bruce, but Tim would think by now Bruce is aware that he’s not a complete idiot.

Tim nods as Bruce hands him a glass of water. Roy shuts off the movie before Dick turns to him with a wide-eyed expression. “Wait, you don’t have a spleen?”

Tim shakes his head, but before he can respond Roy jumps in with another question. “Aren’t spleens kind of important?”

Tim shrugs the best that he can without jostling everything. “It’s not like I can’t live without it, obviously.”

“True, but you need to take low-dose antibiotics regularly.” Again Bruce is giving him that pointed glare, and Tim suddenly finds himself wanting to insist that he’s not a moron.

“I know and I was.”

Before Tim can say another word, Bruce takes the now empty glass from him and places a warm bowl of soup in his hands, and gestures for him to eat. “I’m aware. Just know that there’s no need to take them from the HQ infirmary, hack the system, and change the automatic refill order, even if it is impressive. I’ll get you anything you need. There’s no need for all of this secrecy.”

Tim wants to laugh, but he knows that none of them would respond well to it, and that includes his own injuries. Still, a Batman -- any Batman – claiming that there is no need for secrecy is hilarious. However, before Tim gets a chance to respond Dick and Roy both have a hold on his hands and are shaking him slightly… not enough to hurt, but enough to be noticed. “You were doing what?” Dick’s voice sounds absolutely exasperated.

Roy shakes his head. “And I thought I was paranoid. You have friends here, dude. Let us help you.”

Tim doesn’t think mentioning that he has friends at home who are likely to say the same thing and get the same results would really help his cause right now, even if it is true. Still, their concern is nearly overwhelming, especially Bruce. “Technically, you were getting the antibiotics for me. It was just the most efficient and direct way.”

Dick raises an eyebrow at him, skeptically. “Let me get this straight, you think that sneaking into the infirmary, hacking into the system, and keeping the fact that you don’t have a spleen to yourself was the most efficient way? Really?”

“Bruce would have just told me to take what I needed from the infirmary, and then changed the amount he was ordering anyway. I just cut out the middle man.” Tim honestly doesn’t understand what is so complicated about all of this.

Bruce stares at him for a long moment. “What would your Bruce say if he discovered you did this back home?”

Tim furrows his brow in confusion. He’s not certain why he’s being asked this question or why it’s even relevant. “He probably wouldn’t say anything, and, if for some reason he did, he would suggest ways I could hack the system faster or compliment how efficiently I did it.”

Bruce hums to himself but doesn’t say anything more on the subject before assuring both Roy and Dick that there are plenty of snacks on the tray that he brought up with him for both of them. They both scramble over to the tray as Bruce grabs a chair, and then places it beside the bed. “What are we watching?”

Tim doesn’t know how to respond. He didn’t expect Bruce to stay. He squirms a little, trying to make it look as though he’s just trying to get comfortable when Dick decides to answer for him through a mouthful of food. “Whatever you or… um… Red wants, I suppose.”

Bruce stares at him with an unreadable expression – one that Tim honestly doesn’t recognize and has absolutely no hope of deciphering. “It’s your choice, Red.”

Tim has a feeling that the man is talking about more than just the movie. Although, he has no idea what Bruce could possibly mean, so instead he merely shrugs and gestures for someone else to pick. “It doesn’t matter to me.”

Bruce places a hand on his shoulder and squeezes gently. “Relax.”

Tim isn’t exactly certain why he feels compelled to actually listen, but he forces his shoulders to loosen up, takes a calming breath, and then sinks a little deeper into the pillows behind him. It doesn’t escape his notice that Bruce never actually takes his hand off of Tim’s shoulder until Dick passes Bruce a steaming cup. Dick flops onto the bed beside Tim and focuses on the movie Roy picked for them, while Tim desperately tries to ignore the lingering warmth on his shoulder.

XYZXYZ

Over the course of the next week, Roy and Dick visit often and are able to smuggle Tim enough hardware for him to build the communication devices. He honestly expects Bruce or Alfred to catch them at some point, especially with how often they both like to check on him. It’s not exactly something that Tim is used to, but he guesses this universe doesn’t keep people as busy as his own.

Still, this Alfred and Bruce don’t have nearly as much experience with Robins refusing to simply sit in bed and do nothing as his own do. However, it feels a little too easy to simply work with the pieces that he’s been given, stow them away when he knows someone is coming, and rest just enough that Alfred doesn’t get suspicious about how his healing is progressing. Besides, even if he thinks it might be a little too effortless, Tim is eternally grateful that for once things seem to be working in his favor.

He’s also extremely relieved that he was able to convince Roy and Dick to help keep him busy. The mere idea of spending a week in bed doing nothing with minimal time walking around has his skin crawling. Not to mention, knowing that his recovery is going to take a full six to eight weeks has him feeling rather antsy. Tim sighs heavily at the very thought of it as he stashes the finished devices and then lies back once more.

He breathes out a breath of relief that he did when moments later Alfred knocks on the door. “I must say, young sir, you have far greater patience than Master Bruce and Master Dick. I honestly expected to find you trying to sneak out of your room at least once during this week.”

Tim merely shrugs and does his best to mask the wince it causes him. “What can I say; I enjoy your company, Alfred. Not to mention, Dick, Roy, and Bruce have all been doing their best to keep me distracted.”

Alfred smiles gently at him. “Be that as it may, young sir, I can assure you that such trivial diversions would not be enough to keep Master Bruce and Master Dick from at least one desperate foray into the cave.”

Tim nods his head and doesn’t mention anything about the fact that, if he thought he could get away with it, that’s exactly where he’d be right now. “I know exactly what you mean. My own Alfred has come up with some rather creative ways to keep us in bed.”

“Perhaps, young sir, you can divulge some of his more visionary ploys over our chess game, but first you need to take these.” Alfred hands him his medicine and gives Tim a rather pointed stare. He doesn’t understand why after a week they’re still all treating him as though he has to be watched while taking his medicine, but Tim knows better than to argue with any Alfred.

Tim takes the medicine and doesn’t even make a show of it, despite how much he may want to. “I don’t know if I feel comfortable sharing information that could potentially be used against me.” Tim means it as a joke, but… well; he knows he has a propensity of getting into trouble.

Alfred coughs indignantly as he raises a single eyebrow. “I certainly hope you aren’t implying that such grievous injuries are going to be a common occurrence while you are here, young sir.”

Tim merely shrugs and is immediately reminded why such movements are problematic right now. “You know how it is, Alfred.”

Alfred furrows his brow and looks as though there’s something he desperately wants to say, but instead he shakes his head and begins helping Tim out of bed. “I believe it would be best to do your exercises now, young sir.”

Alfred helps him out of bed, and Tim does a few stretches that won’t injure him further. Alfred then assists him with walking around the room before leading him down the hall to where their chess game is already set up and waiting. Tim doesn’t feel nearly as winded as the first time that they did this, but he’s truly not looking forward to his slow recovery. Once Alfred has him settled down in a well-cushioned chair, he takes his own seat, and they begin the game in a tranquil silence.

The quiet doesn’t last long, however, before Alfred clears his throat. “If I may, young sir?” Tim gestures for Alfred to continue. “I’m aware that you told Master Bruce that you are 17.”

Tim nods, although he honestly has no idea where Alfred is going with this. “It’s true. I am.”

Alfred moves one of his pieces and gestures for Tim to take his turn. “I’ve been thinking, young sir; perhaps we should enroll you in school with Master Dick, once you’re healthy, of course.”

Tim nearly chokes on air at the mention of school. It’s been so long since he’s even considered school as more than a distant memory. He quickly makes him move, hoping to divert Alfred’s attention slightly. “Oh, um, I’m not in school anymore.”

Alfred looks pleasantly surprised. “You graduated already? I must say that is most impressive.”

Tim coughs and rubs the back of his head sheepishly as he glances away from Alfred’s proud expression. He knows that he doesn’t deserve it. Tim never did actually have a conversation with his own Alfred about dropping out, but he’s always been rather grateful that he never had to see the disappointment on the man’s face.

Tim sighs heavily. It doesn’t matter that this is a different Alfred entirely. He knows this conversation is going to break both of their hearts. “I…um… I didn’t graduate, actually. My senior year didn’t exactly go as planned. There was an important mission that required my full attention, so I dropped out.”

Alfred drops the piece he was about to move and just stares at Tim horrified for a moment. “How could your Master Bruce or my counterpart allow the mission to take precedence over your schooling? What were they thinking?”

Tim clears his throat and does his best not to make eye contact with Alfred. “Well, Bruce was missing and I left to go find him, and then sometime later I became an emancipated minor, so there wasn’t much either one of them could do at that point.”

Alfred looks as if he truly wants to argue, but he simply resumes moving his bishop. “I assume you have your GED, then.”

Tim shakes his head and resists the urge to sink further into his seat. He never thought disappointing another Alfred would hurt this much, but if Tim has learned anything from his time here, it’s that it doesn’t matter who he’s displeasing, it’s always just as agonizing. “There really wasn’t the time or a need. When I returned a new CEO was needed and… long story short, I was available.”

“And Lucius agreed with this?”

Tim shrugs and ignores the pain that it causes him. After all, it’s nothing in comparison to this entire conversation. “Um…well, it was his idea. I mean, it was kind of time-sensitive.”

Alfred hums a noncommittal tone. “I take it from your general attitude that you have no intention of either returning to school or getting your GED when you return home, then?”

Tim glances away once more. He’s fairly certain that he’s not imagining the disapproving tone. “Honestly, assuming I can find a way back home, I’m not sure there’s really a point to wasting my time. I’m fully capable of accomplishing everything I need to without it.”

Alfred raises an eyebrow at him. “And what of the desires that you wish to achieve beyond what you need to accomplish?”

Tim doesn’t know if he necessarily has an answer to that. It’s been so long since he’s even considered his own desires beyond what’s necessary that he’s not entirely certain that he even knows what he wants. He knows that he should focus on returning home. He knows that it’s not fair to simply abandon everyone and everything, but Tim doesn’t know if that’s what he necessarily wishes.

“I’m sure I can accomplish most things without it.” Tim knows that Alfred understands what it means for him to be this evasive, but he hopes Alfred will simply let it go. After all, how can Alfred be certain pursuing this line of questioning will be advantageous when Tim doesn’t even know if he has a response beyond vague retorts?

Tim isn’t sure if he’s relieved that Alfred does leave it there, because the rest of their game is finished in quite tense silence. When Tim returns to the room he’s staying in, he doesn’t need to feign exhaustion as Alfred slowly lowers him down on fresh sheets. A part of him wants to apologize, although he doesn’t know why. After all, this isn’t the Alfred that he needs to be apologizing to.

Still, Tim can’t help it. As he slumps further into the pillows propping him up, Tim mutters out the only thing that he can think at this moment. “I’m sorry for not being more.”

His eyes are heavy, but he sees the way Alfred clutches the covers he’s trying to pull over Tim. There’s the sound of hitched breathing, but whether that’s Alfred’s or Tim’s own breathing from jostling his chest, Tim will never know. He’s asleep before Alfred can say another word.

The End (for now)

#A Displaced Red Robin #Tim Drake #dick grayson #roy harper #bruce wayne #Alfred Pennyworth #fanfic #Young Justice #comics

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cutimal28 · 4 years

Text

Beside Me

Fandom: Blue Lock

Pairing: Chigiri Hyoma x reader

Notes: Things may differ a little from the actual manga, so keep that in mind.

No regrets! Chigiri is the best and I loved writing this 😊

Also, fluff and yes he is a precious lil bean.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Soccer really had no meaning for you. You were neutral about it. Even though your school was one of the best in the prefecture, it didn’t really bother you in any way. Until you met him.

You were waiting after school for your parents to come and pick you up. Usually, you’d attend your club and then you’d go home, but unfortunately for you, your parents had told you that they would come pick you up which wasn’t a big deal but your club activities were cancelled. Which led you to grumbling and waiting for your parents to come while you stood there awkwardly. You couldn’t just go home, that would make them worried over nothing.

Suddenly you heard a big commotion coming from the field, you walked over to see what it was and saw that there was a soccer game going on. You looked at the players until you stoped at one of them. That’s when you forgot how to breathe.

He was one of the prettiest boys you had ever seen. Flawless red hair with beautiful eyes. You felt your cheeks burning as you tried your hardest for air to reach your lungs.

How could you even feel that way? You only just met him, (lemme rephrase that) saw him. He didn’t even acknowledge your existence. How, just how??

And when that happened, who knew that it would turn you into such a soccer fan. You researched rules and regulations, watched matches and kept track of each and everything. All to get close to him.

All this led to you cheering him on at all his games. You were impressed by his speed and seeing him always left you in awe. You would always be at your usual spot, keeping track of the game and always tried to give him support.

But every now and then he would look at you with eyes that say, “She’s here again” and his face would light up. Little did you know he always played his best for you. So that you would see him, then one day maybe he’ll have the courage to talk to you. He would always look at you whenever he got the chance and if you two made eye contact you would smile at him while he would turn into a blushing mess. It wasn’t seen by any of his teammates since he would always hide his cheeks with his hair and nobody would notice.

Every one of your friends knew about your crush on him, heck even your parents did. When you begged them to let you dye your hair red they were kinda curious. Of course they said no, which always left you with a pouty face but when they saw you cheering for one guy in particular at a soccer game they found out about your interest.

After a few weeks of this you finally decided to talk to him. So when you came up to him after practice he didn’t know what to say.

“Hey”, you started with a smile. “Nice to meet you, I’m Y/n. And you could say I’m a big fan of you.”

“Of me?”, he stared at you in disbelief. What was this pretty girl talking about? You being a fan of him??

“Yup, so I was wondering if we could hang out some time.”

The boy looked at you in surprise. Of course he wanted to say yes but he still second guessed himself. Was he good enough to be with you? But nonetheless he agreed and said that he’d come.

You were ecstatic. Finally, you made the first move. You only hoped that maybe if you two could become friends, then there’s a slight chance that he’d feel the same way about you. After all, this was meant to get close to him right?

Things were going well, after a few weeks of hanging out and doing fun stuff together, Chigiri gathered all his courage and asked you out. You two were a happy couple, and all your friends shipped you together.

But this was all gone when he tore his knee. Everyone looked down on him. He was no longer the fast person everyone knew but you were beside him at that moment. You comforted him and supported him. Even though he thought that you’d break up with him, you didn’t do any such thing. He thought he was the luckiest guy ever to have someone as nice and kind as you to be his girlfriend.

You were the only reason he survived those days and after a little encouragement you managed to make him run fast again. You would help him practice everyday, no matter what. This led to his condition improving a lot faster than expected, but you both knew that he wouldn’t make a full recovery.

But with you by his side, he was back on his feet and ready to go back in action. But something would keep bugging Chigiri. The boy had this weird feeling that he would leave you soon. It wasn’t a pleasant feeling and he wasn’t happy about it. When you found out, you lightly brushed it off, not thinking too much about it.

But the day came, blue lock confirmed his suspicions and he knew he’d have to go without you. Of course you would be informed later but he just couldn’t let it go. He felt guilt build up inside him as walked up to the entrance.

He felt so lonely without you and didn’t talk to anyone. He even kept his weapon a secret. He felt so weak without you. He wanted you in his arms again and cried himself to sleep every night.

Honestly you felt the same way, so you decide to do something special for him so that at least he’d still remember you in blue lock.

Blue lock had a system for family members to send packages. Few of the boys would get one every week while a few others wouldn’t get any. Chigiri was part of the latter. So imagine his surprise when Isagi said that he had received a package.

He got up quietly, took the package and left. When he saw it was from you he almost jumped up in joy but controlled himself.

Inside was a bag of cookies you baked and a letter. It went like this..

“Dear Hyoma,

How are you? I’ve heard you’ve gone to blue lock and I’m so proud of you. Even though this is not much I baked you some cookies. I hope you like them. And also, do your best. I expect my boyfriend to obviously do well with his killer speed. I hope you didn’t have much trouble settling in. Show them what you’ve got Hyoma. I’ll always be beside you.”

Yours lovingly,

F/n L/n

Your letter brought him to tears as he opened the bag and ate one of the cookies. The bag kinda smelled like you, with a hint of vanilla from the cookies. Your smell engulfed him as he ate one more. He knew you weren’t lying.

It was as if, you really were there beside him.

#blue lock #chigiri x reader #chigiri hyoma #chigiri hyoma x reader #bllk #bllk x reader #oneshot #soccer #football

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sapphirestarxx · 4 years

Text

Through the Night

Chapter 10

Posted on AO3 here

Tag Wall: @lavendertwilight89 @hnnwnchstr @fawn-eyed-girl @cstormsinukagblog @ruddcatha @superpixie42 @ravisk

Let me know if you would like to be added to the tags for future updates!

~☆~

After some phone calls they had all decided they would be making the out-of-town trip to the Shikon Shrine that coming weekend; five days hence. In the meantime they would all rest up and continue to focus on their recovery from the fight with Ayaka. Ordinarily the thought of all this sitting around would have driven Sango crazy-- she was a woman of action, after all-- but after solidifying her relationship with Miroku she found she didn’t mind the thought of waiting so much. She was enjoying the alone time with him, which isn’t something she had ever thought she would say.

One of those phone calls was to her brother, Kohaku, asking him to take over all her jobs until further notice, and explaining in detail the situation she was in, the foe they were chasing, and her current injuries. She had told her family before that she was working with Kagome and a couple others to solve this mystery and hunt down the person responsible but she hadn’t really elaborated on it until now. Then he had heard Miroku’s voice in the background, which of course had started a whole other round of questions into her personal life. Kohaku had agreed to help her, provided she come to the main slayer residence and introduce Miroku to them all. Soon. Wonderful.

To be honest, that had been the main reason she had avoided going to the slayers in person for the last month; she didn’t want to have to explain Miroku and deal with all the well-intentioned remarks of her family and the other slayers. Now that he was her boyfriend (that word still felt so weird to her) there was no reason to evade her family.

They spent the rest of the day on the couch, her curled up against him and his arm wrapped around her, watching a show on Netflix. Sango had picked out Supernatural, one of her favorite shows, after Miroku had said he had never seen it before. He claimed he had enough “supernatural” experiences in his day-to-day life but Sango had insisted, and he, of course, couldn’t deny her. As it turned out, it was a good choice. The show was witty and smart, not to mention very entertaining and funny; he and Sango discussed how accurate to real life it actually was and all the things they had gotten wrong. When it got late enough and it was time to go to bed, Miroku was expecting to sleep on the couch again when Sango spoke.

“Uhm, Miroku?”

“Yes?”

“...You, uhm, if you’re okay with it I, uhm, I don’t mind sleeping together. I feel bad that you always take the couch, and well, we’re a couple now so…” Sango said, blushing in spite of herself. He was quiet for a long moment and she began to second guess herself, wondering if maybe she shouldn’t have suggested something so bold so soon. In reality, Miroku had to take a second to process her request and make sure he had heard her correctly. He was tempted to ask her if he was dreaming but didn't want to get smacked again.

“Sleep together?” Miroku repeated, speaking finally. “Are you sure?”

“Just sleep! Nothing else.” Sango clarified.

"I know that's what you meant." Miroku said, trying not to grin. He was positively ecstatic. "And I would be thrilled to sleep beside you, but I don't want to make you uncomfortable."

"Why would you make me uncomfortable?" Sango asked, confused.

"Because I may not be able to control the way my body responds."

Oh. Sango blushed crimson at that but after a few moments of silence she replied, "Th-that's fine. I don't mind, if you don't. But again, only sleeping!"

“As my lady wishes.” Miroku grinned, unable to contain his eagerness. He leaned forward and gave her a kiss. “Alright, I’ll wait out here while you go get changed. Unless, of course, you’ve changed your mind about stripping in front of me?”

“Don’t push your luck.” Sango replied. Rolling her eyes, she shuffled off to get ready for bed. While she did that Miroku stripped out of his jeans and shirt, changing into his own sleep pants, forgoing the t-shirt; he respected Sango’s decision to wait for anything more physical, but that didn't mean he was going to make it easy on her. He waited a few minutes before knocking on his bedroom door and heard a quiet, “Come in.”

All the lights were off except for the one on the nightstand and Sango was already in bed, sitting up. She looked a little anxious, or maybe she was just shy. She glanced up at his entrance and her eyes widened as she stared. He smirked and couldn’t resist making a comment.

“Like what you see?”

She blushed, as he expected, but what he hadn’t expected was the way her eyes roved over his bare chest before resting on his face again.

“Maybe.” She replied with a small smile. Then her voice turned dry. “Why aren’t you wearing a shirt?”

“I don’t generally like to sleep with one on. Is that a problem?”

“No.” She cleared her throat nervously then patted the bed beside her. “Well, come on. Get in.”

Miroku needed no further encouragement, taking the left side as Sango had already claimed the right. She was being much more assertive about this than he had been anticipating, which was a pleasant surprise. And God, the way she had looked him over had set his body aflame with desire for her.

“You don’t mind me taking this side of the bed, do you?” She asked, turning to face him.

“Not at all. Any side is fine as long as I’m sleeping by your side.” He winked at her and she rolled her eyes.

“You know, those one-liners aren’t necessary, anymore.” Sango said, giving his chest a small push. He chuckled a little bit.

“Maybe not, but I enjoy your reactions.”

“You mean the eye-rolling and exasperation?”

“You say that, but I suspect you secretly delight in hearing them.”

“Maybe a little bit.” Sango admitted. Then she looked at where her hand still rested on his chest and lightly traced a finger across his collarbone, stopping at the place where he had gotten injured in the fight with Ayaka and her mirrors. She moved her hand down to gently rest over it and felt the urge to kiss him there.

“You know, if you keep looking at me like that, and touching me like that, I can’t be held responsible for ravishing you right here in this bed.” Miroku said, his voice low.

“S-sorry!”

Sango hastily removed her hand, looking away and suddenly embarrassed. Miroku took hold of the hand she had withdrawn and used his other hand to turn her face back towards him, pulling her into another kiss. His lips moved against hers, long and deep and slow, before breaking the contact.

“It’s okay.” He told her, smiling at her softly. “But we should probably go to sleep now, unless you want something more to happen here.”

“We should sleep. Sleep is good.” Sango agreed quickly, her body warmed all over from his kiss and the way he was looking at her. She didn't know if she would ever get over the way he kissed her.

Turning out the light, they both laid down and Sango closed her eyes, shifting onto her side. She had acted calm about it but her heart was pounding. ‘We’re just sleeping. It’s only sleep. It’s not a big deal.’ she silently told herself, but it felt like a big deal to her. It also felt right. She loved him, trusted him...why shouldn’t they sleep together in the same bed? Eventually, her heart rate slowed and she was able to drift off into slumber.

~☆~

The next five days passed quickly and the weekend arrived before they knew it. By then Sango’s leg was completely healed and while the wound in her chest ached, it didn’t bother her too bad unless she pressed hard against it, like a lingering bruise. In another week or so it should be totally gone save for a scar, along with Miroku’s own injury. She knew because he continued to sleep shirtless, giving her an eyeful of his perfect torso every night. And while she didn’t tell him as much, she very much appreciated the view.

She had made sure to keep in touch with Kagome, who’s own wounds were also on the mend. Sango had shared the news that she and Miroku were officially dating and Kagome had been over the moon with excitement for her. It was almost comical. Unfortunately, she was still experiencing headaches but aside from that most of the side effects from her concussion were easing in their severity. Thankfully there had also been no sign of Tsubaki or any of her runes, allowing everyone to convalesce in peace.

At first they had discussed taking a train to see Lady Kaede, but in the end decided to drive to the Shikon Shrine by car. The main reason being it was slightly cheaper after factoring in the cost of gas and, more importantly, Inuyasha’s aversion to large crowds of people, making the train a no go. It also had the added benefit of making it easier to cart their weapons around just in case the need arose. So on the morning of departure, Miroku and Sango packed up his car and headed over to the Higurashi Shrine to pick up Kagome and Inuyasha for the long trip.

Sango hadn’t pried too much into her best friend’s love life over the last few days, but she assumed things had been going well considering she hadn’t received another tear-filled phone call. Another sign was the bright smile the priestess was wearing, positively radiating happiness, as they pulled up. Inuyasha wasn’t looking too thrilled but Sango had a feeling that was more to do with the prospect of being stuck in a car for four hours.

Exchanging greetings, Kagome and Inuyasha hopped into the backseat, Kagome sitting behind Sango, and Inuyasha claiming the other spot. Taking off, they were mostly quiet except for Sango and Kagome chatting a bit. Inuyasha just stared out the window with his arms crossed, his occasionally twitching ears the only sign that he was listening. Sango mentioned how she had gotten Miroku into watching Supernatural and they all excitedly talked about it for a little while. After about thirty minutes had passed Kagome leaned over and poked the back of Miroku’s seat.

“Hey. Can we get some music in here?”

“Of course.” He replied, turning on the Bluetooth in the car and opening his phone’s music folder. The song that played through the car's speakers made Sango stop talking and stare at him, unamused; Into You by Ariana Grande. It seemed he wasn’t done teasing her about it, yet.

“Really?” She asked in a flat voice and he let out a laugh, taking his eyes from the road for a moment to spare her a wink.

“I’ve decided this is our song, now. You confessed so many things to me while it played.”

“I’m going to run your head into a wall next chance I get.”

Inuyasha snickered and Kagome burst into laughter.

“So violent. Last night you weren’t so--”

“So help me if you finish that sentence! You are so lucky you’re driving right now or I’d push you out of this car.”

“Push him out anyway.” Inuyasha goaded her.

“Now I have to know what happened last night.” Kagome input, her interest piqued.

“Nothing! We just slept, that’s all .” Sango shot a glare Miroku’s way, as if daring him to contradict her.

“‘We?’” Inuyasha repeated, turning a leer on her. “And just sleep? With this lecher? I find that hard to believe.”

“I’ve been a total gentleman, I swear.” Miroku defended himself, letting go of the steering wheel with one hand to raise it in supplication.

“Yes ‘we’, as in together; he’s my boyfriend now. Is that so weird?” Sango shot back, blushing.

“I love when you call me yours.” Miroku commented, grinning at how worked up she was getting. She was so damn cute when she got flustered. It was part of the reason he loved to tease her so much.

“I really wish I wasn’t here right now.” Sango muttered, rubbing at her temples.

“Yeah, you and me both.” Inuyasha groused.

“Oh come on, you don’t mean that.” Kagome said, looping an arm through his and leaning into his side. She looked up at him sweetly from where her head rested on his shoulder and he blushed. “I mean, I’m here.”

“I just don’t like bein’ cramped in a car like this for so long.” Inuyasha hedged. “It’s nothin’ to do with you. You know that.”

Kagome giggled in happiness and raised herself up to place a quick kiss on Inuyasha’s cheek.

“It appears Sango and I aren’t the only ones... strengthening our bond.” Miroku remarked with a smirk.

“Keh, don’t lump me in with yourself. I’m not a pervert like you. We haven’t done anything.” Inuyasha protested.

“I’m telling you it was just--” Sango started.

“Inuyasha just kisses me. Unfortunately.” Kagome muttered, losing her cheery expression. Okay, and maybe a little heavy petting, she silently admitted. But anytime it got too heated he always pulled away, much to her disappointment; it was frustrating to say the least. She realized they had only been “together” for about a week now, and maybe it was moving too fast, but she felt ready.

There was also no one else she had ever wanted to be with… she couldn't possibly see herself wanting to be with someone else ever again. Inuyasha was her one and only; but he refused to go further for fear of risking something happening to her powers. Not when they were in the middle of pursuing Tsubaki and fighting all her minions. And while she believed him, it was hard not to get insecure about it.

“‘Unfortunately?’” It was Sango’s turn to twist around and pin a look on the half demon.

“Look, can we not discuss this again in front of everyone?” Inuyasha half snapped, half pleaded, his ears flattening against his head.

“You never want to discuss it when we’re alone, either.” Kagome returned sourly.

“I’m not going to be the one responsible for you losing your powers!”

“That’s not going to happen!”

“What do you mean ‘lose your powers’”? Miroku and Sango asked at the same time.

“He thinks if we mate I’ll lose my spiritual energy, or they’ll be corrupted, or something ridiculous because he’s part demon. Which I’ve told him is crazy!” Kagome replied.

“Hmm.” Miroku mused. “True, a demon mating with a priestess is rather unheard of, and I can understand your concerns, Inuyasha. But perhaps you are being overly cautious. I don’t think fate would decree her as your mate if--”

“Can we just drop it?!” Inuyasha burst out and everyone fell silent, the only sound the music still playing. Mercifully, everyone respected his need for a topic change. Or maybe it was the way he had borderline snarled the words. Whatever. He had no idea how the mixing of the youki in the mating mark was going to mix with Kagome’s reiki; two opposing energies so very different in nature. True, he could try to have sex with her without actually marking her, but he knew he wouldn’t be able to control his instincts if it got that far. If he went all the way the urge would become too much to resist. Fuck, he could barely control himself when they would lay on her bed and share heated kisses. Her hands were never idle and damn--all he wanted was to taste her. He knew he hurt her when he would pull away but he had to control his inner demon. It would take her without hesitation, he would mark her as his; and he wasn’t willing to risk that even if she was. Not yet.

The rest of the car ride passed uneventfully but there was slight tension from the heated conversation about Kagome and Inuyasha’s intimacy. When they finally pulled up to the Shikon Shrine, they were all dying to get the hell out of the car. They had stopped once at a rest stop but otherwise it had been a straight shot there. Lady Kaede was standing outside, waiting for them; that morning Miroku had called the shrine and Lady Kaede had graciously accepted his request for a visit and the reason for it. He hadn’t touched too much on the subject while on the phone with her, figuring it could all wait until they arrived. And while it was true he could have probably gotten all the information from her over the phone some things were better done in person.

Everyone exited the car, stretching their legs before approaching the entrance to the shrine, where Kaede was patiently waiting for them. She had long gray hair pulled back into a low ponytail and her face was lined with age, her back slightly stooped. A black eye-patch covered her right eye and she was dressed in traditional priestess garbs. Sango felt underdressed in her own black jeans and simple turquoise sweater.

“Welcome. I am Kaede Nakamura, the current Head Priestess of this humble shrine. Please, come in.” Kaede greeted them, bowing slightly before turning to lead the way. They all bowed except Inuyasha and followed her past the torii gate and up the steps to the shrine itself. Upon entering, they all removed their shoes, and Kaede slid the shoji door to the washitsu aside, stepping inside and beckoning them all to come in, then slid the door closed behind them.

“I receive all visitors in this room here. I hope it is acceptable. Please, make yourselves comfortable for I am sure we have much to discuss.” Kaede spoke as her eyes lingered slightly on Kagome.

“This is perfect. Thank you again for agreeing to see us. You are most gracious.” Miroku politely inclined his head as they all arranged themselves around the chabudai in the middle of the room, settling themselves on the tatami flooring and making introductions.

“Yes, we really appreciate it. Anything you can tell us would be a huge help.” Kagome agreed.

“It is nice to see that some of the younger generation still has their manners.” Kaede smiled at them. “Now, what do you wish to know? The young monk here told me you seek information on Tsubaki."

They all began to tell her of the happenings in Tokyo thus far and what they currently knew about Tsubaki and her methods, which wasn't much at all. When they were finished Kaede was silent in thought for a moment.

"It is as I feared." Kaede sighed, her voice solemn.

"What does that mean?" Sango asked.

"First, allow me to tell you the history this shrine has with Tsubaki. It began years ago, when we first accepted her as a priestess at this shrine. At first, she appeared to act as a proper priestess should; she pursued her studies and duties diligently. She progressed very quickly in her training and was quite gifted, gaining the respect of many, including that of my elder sister, Kikyo.

“After some time it became clear she possessed a heart too selfish and vain; it began to corrupt her. Her powers were almost a match for my sister’s and Tsubaki soon began to see Kikyo as a rival. Kikyo was very beautiful and very powerful and Tsubaki became jealous of all the attention and praise that she received. In fact, it was even spoken that Kikyo was the most powerful priestess to live since the days of Lady Midoriko.”

“Lady Midoriko? You mean the warrior priestess who lived in the feudal era?” Kagome asked, unable to keep from interrupting. Midoriko was practically a legend. If this was true then Kikyo had indeed been a force of nature.

“Yes, exactly so. My eyes are not what they used to be, but it is uncanny, for you bear a striking resemblance to my late sister, and I do hope you will forgive me for such an observation. While my powers are quite dulled, I would say too that your own powers and the strength of your soul are in the same league as those of Kikyo’s.” Kaede replied and Kagome fell quiet, unsure what to make of that revelation.

“Wow, Kagome. I knew you were strong, but that’s incredible.” Sango commented and Kagome flushed slightly under the praise and scrutiny.

“I-if it’s true.” She demurred, but she also wondered at the truth of the words. She had always been told she was extraordinarily powerful and had come into her powers so strongly at such an early age, and she wondered now if it had been some heavenly intervention in preparation for this impending fight with Tsubaki. Or maybe it was all a coincidence. There was no way to really tell.

“And then what?” Inuyasha asked, growing impatient and wanting to take the attention off of Kagome when it was clear she was uncomfortable at Kaede’s assertion.

“Unknown to all of us, Tsubaki began to dabble in other darker magics. Eventually, Tsubaki’s jealousy grew to be too much and she attempted to curse Kikyo with a shikigami. The curse was two-fold-- marr her beauty and take her powers. My sister had suspected she would try something and thus thwarted her attack and Tsubaki was banished from the shrine, having revealed herself as a dark priestess. But it, unfortunately, did not end there.

“Tsubaki’s ambition knew no bounds and she worked tirelessly to elevate herself in the eyes of the evil demons. She craved power, eternal life, and eternal beauty; she felt it was her due. And perhaps most of all, revenge against my sister. For in deflecting Tsubaki’s attack, Kikyo had turned her own curse back upon her. Tsubaki escaped with her powers but Kikyo’s deflection had caused it to enter back through her right eye, leaving behind an ugly mark.

“As I’m sure you know, most demons have learned to co-exist with humanity but not all were content with such a life. They missed the blood, the fear, the recognition of their terrible power and their ability to lord it over those weaker than they. After being shunned, Tsubaki sought out the help of these demons, making deals and contracts, and attracted the attention of one of the most powerful demons to live. He was known as Naraku and was a foul being, ruthless and depraved. Despite being only a half demon he was more powerful than many full-blooded youkai and his name became one to fear.

“They began to work together, combining their objectives into a single goal. Naraku would give her all that she desired so long as she continued to lend him her power in his conquest. You see, Naraku detested the human part of him and thus hated humans, viewing them as weak and lesser. Tsubaki seemed to be the only exception to this, for while they had started as uncertain allies they grew close, and Naraku eventually took her as his mate.”

“Naraku mated with Tsubaki? She was his mate?” Miroku interrupted, stealing a glance Inuyasha’s way. His friend’s golden gaze had sharpened at the words and he knew Kagome had to be also listening intently.

“Yes. I do not know if I would call it love, for they were both too removed from anything resembling human emotion for something so pure. Tsubaki had even once told my sister that a priestess’ true power came alive when they abandoned all human feelings. What they had together was dark and twisted, a perversion of nature, almost a co-dependency. She and Naraku had a fierce loyalty and devotion to each other, and perhaps to them it was love.

“Her powers only grew more tainted and she began to rely more heavily on the darker arts, becoming adept at many magics, mirror magic and illusions among them, although she was not limited to these only. Her abilities spanned the full spectrum, which is part of what made her a truly frightening opponent.”

“Are you saying mating with him corrupted her powers?” Inuyasha demanded.

“She was already corrupted; her heart was made impure by her greed and vanity.” Kaede answered. “I cannot speak for how the mating affected her spiritual powers, but it appears she is still formidable even now. How much of that is her spiritual powers versus how much is black magic I do not know. For she now possesses a tome of the blackest spells known to exist, if what you say is true.”

“You called their mating a perversion of nature. Are you saying that just because she was a priestess and he was a half demon?” Kagome questioned, unable to keep the hostility from her voice.

“No, young one. The both of them were so evil, their souls so black, that to call their mating anything other than a perversion of nature would not do justice to the chaos they created in the wake of their joining. It is also unclear if they were bonded by fate or by their dark desires.” Kaede told her and Kagome relaxed a bit at that.

“What was Naraku’s ultimate goal?” Sango asked, unable to contain her curiosity. She knew Kaede was probably not done recounting her tale and would get to it eventually but she had to know. She had heard whispered mentions of a demon named Naraku from her grandparents when she was young but hadn’t realized he had had any association with Tsubaki. He had decimated half their household fifty years ago in his attempt to rise to power but she didn’t know much beyond that. The slayers had tried to put an end to him and had suffered unimaginable losses for their troubles. It was understandably a sore subject for her family to talk about, plus demon slayers in general just weren’t very open with their feelings, preferring to act rather than talk.

“Patience, young slayer.” Kaede gently admonished and Sango blushed a little in embarrassment. “All in due time. I was just getting to it.

“As I had said, Naraku despised humans. He chafed at having to hide his true nature from the world, feeling that humans were so far beneath him, that they should know their place. He desired to out demonkind to all of humanity, so as to subject them to his rule, his evil whims, as he thought was only right. He was so powerful and humans so weak; why shouldn’t he be able to do as he pleased? And with Tsubaki’s help and encouragement he became almost unstoppable.

“A long string of murders began, and the Japanese police attributed it to a serial killer. Such a thing was not unheard of in this country, but still uncommon enough to cause major concern. Of course, those responsible for these murders were none other than Naraku and Tsubaki. He killed when it suited him, whether to further his own agenda or to punish those who had displeased him, and she used the kills as sacrifices for her own dark magics.

“Kikyo was the only one with the strength, the power to put an end to them. She plotted and bided her time until at last she took them both on, determined to end their reign of terror before it escalated into something that could no longer be hidden from ordinary folk. She fought for three days and nights before finally vanquishing Naraku and purifying his evil from this world. Despite my own modest abilities, I assisted her and almost captured Tsubaki, but she managed to escape, taking my right eye as revenge for what Kikyo had done to hers.

“In the aftermath, Kikyo was so grievously wounded that she barely clung to life. She held on for a day before succumbing to her injuries and passing on into the next life. I would say that was the end of it but now it seems Tsubaki has resurfaced all these years later.”

Everyone was quiet, thinking over what they had just learned. There was so much to process, to consider, with so many revelations out in the open now. There was one thing Kaede had still not touched upon, however, and Miroku was quick to point it out.

“That is certainly much more than we had known before, and I thank you for taking the time to recount what must no doubt be a painful tale for you to tell. I realize this was many years ago, but still, you have my condolences for losing your sister in such a way.” Miroku started. “However, before you began this story you said ‘it is as I feared.’ What do you think is happening, here? Please, tell us.”

“Ah, yes. My apologies, this old mind is prone to bouts of forgetfulness. And I thank you, but as you said, it was many years ago. That particular wound of the heart no longer aches as it once did.” Kaede replied, bowing her head graciously. “Tsubaki and Naraku were mates. It is not common knowledge among those with such holy powers but when a demon takes a mate their lifespans become intertwined. Although, I’m sure you were already aware of such a thing, slayer.”

Sango gave a nod of acknowledgement and waited for Kaede to continue.

“Upon his death, Tsubaki should have perished soon after, as her mate was no longer of this world. However, she has clearly used her dark magic to preserve her life, and now that she has that evil spell book stolen from your shrine in her possession it seems she has put another plan of hers into motion.” This last part she directed towards Kagome, who also gave a nod of acknowledgement. “There are many forbidden spells and rituals contained in the pages of that book, and among them is a spell for the resurrection of a demon. Even a half demon such as Naraku was.”

“What?” Sango breathed out. “Are...are you saying Tsubaki is trying to resurrect her dead lover?”

“I cannot speak with absolute certainty, but based on all the other information you have given me, I would say so. The harvesting of souls, and of spiritual powers...these are all important components for a magic as vile and taboo as this. There are few other things she could be trying to accomplish.”

“You said Kikyo purified Naraku, which means his body turned to ash. There’s nothing to put his soul back into.” Kagome pointed out. “Or are you saying she’s not just bringing his soul back, but his body too? Recreating it?”

“Yes.” Kaede replied simply.

To accomplish something so huge and grand in scale...undertaking a feat such as that would certainly require an extraordinary amount of power. It would definitely offer a plausible explanation as to what Tsubaki’s endgame was with all of this. And if it was true, they had no choice but to stop her, for the alternative was unthinkable.

“All the souls she’s taken, do you have any idea what she’s doing with them?” Kagome asked. “I know she’s apparently using them as part of this incredibly difficult and complicated spell to resurrect Naraku, but where are they being kept? Or have they already been sacrificed? The priestesses, priests, and monks that have fallen victim to her are still alive, but they exist in a solely comatose state, their souls completely gone, their reiki completely drained. They’re basically living husks.”

“Again, I cannot speak with any certainty, but she has most likely trapped them somewhere until she must use them, waiting until she accumulates the necessary amount of spiritual power and number of souls needed. Perhaps a mirror, considering her affinity for mirror magic. Once she has gathered everything that is required, the souls will be used as a sacrifice in payment for the resurrection of his own evil soul and they will all likely die.

“Their spiritual powers will be used to recreate his body. As you know, reiki is the opposite to youki, and in nature they act as a balance to each other. The reiki will likely represent the human component to his body, and I am sure Tsubaki has taken many demon souls, along with their youki, for the demon element. There were plenty of demons who did not align with her and Naraku’s vision, and they are no doubt among her victims. You just have not heard because you are human, and as such are only concerned with human matters. Aside from you, of course.”

That last sentence was directed to Inuyasha, who scowled.

“I try to mind my own business and don’t get out much.” He said. “My brother would probably know more, though. Also, how do you--”

“Wait!” Kagome spoke up, staring at him. “Hold up, pause. Can we backtrack for a second to the part where you said ‘brother ’? You have a brother??”

“Yeah. We don’t get along.” Inuyasha scoffed.

“You have a brother and you never told me!” Kagome exclaimed. “What’s his name, where is he, and why haven’t you bothered to mention that little detail?”

Sango and Miroku exchanged a glance. Sango raised her eyebrows in a silent question and Miroku shrugged, nodding. Miroku knew Inuyasha had a brother but they weren’t close by any means; they typically tended to act as if the other didn’t exist. It was an arrangement that suited the both of them just fine.

“Because it doesn’t matter!” Inuyasha returned, torn between annoyance and not wanting to upset Kagome. He honestly didn’t see what the big deal was. “His name’s Sesshomaru. He’s mated to a powerful wind demon and lives in a nice big house with his mate and kids. We don’t keep in touch. Kagura aint so bad but he’s a fucking dick. He’s a full demon and I’m not, and he reminds me of that every fucking chance he gets.”

“Sesshomaru? As in the Lord of the West?” Sango cut in. As a demon slayer she had definitely heard of him; he was basically the ruling lord of all demonkind in Japan. While the daiyoukai was not particularly fond of humans, he didn’t seem to totally hate them either, nor did he cause problems. Furthermore, he seemed to keep most of the demon population in line and so the slayers didn’t bother him. Sango had never seen Sesshomaru in person, but now that she thought about it, she had heard he was a dog demon.

“Yeah, the very same bastard. Again, doesn’t fucking matter.” Inuyasha brushed it off like it was nothing, and to him it probably was. Then he pinned his bright amber gaze upon the older priestess. “Like I was about to ask-- how do you know so much about these spells? I wouldn’t think a pure priestess like you would be so knowledgeable about such things. Plus there were only supposed to be two copies and your shrine ain't one of the two chosen to protect them.”

“For a time, one of the books was in the possession of our shrine. When my sister grew into her power and proved herself strong and worthy, it was presented to us at the Shikon Shrine to guard and protect. After her death I decided to hand it off to someone better suited to keeping it safe. My sister died before she could marry and have children and my own spiritual powers are rather modest. It seemed the wisest course of action, and so I inquired if those at the Takagi Temple would take over its protection. Kazuma graciously accepted such a task. After his passing, the duty fell to his brother, your uncle, Mushin.”

Kaede addressed the last sentence to Miroku, who was looking at the old priestess intently. Sango looked from him to her, and realized she had just learned two things about Miroku in the last ten seconds. The name of his father, and his own last name. She didn’t know why, but in the last month it had never come up. He probably didn’t even know her own last name either, something she resolved to fix soon. Now that they were dating it was kind of embarrassing not knowing such things about your partner.

“So that’s how it came into our possession. Very interesting.” Miroku said, and his voice was calm but he had tensed slightly beside her. Sango wondered why. Was it the mention of his father?

“Indeed.” Kaede said. “Do you have any other questions to ask of this old priestess?”

They all shook their heads and Kaede inclined her head.

“I want to thank you again.” Miroku spoke. “This has been very enlightening.”

“Yes, thank you so much.” Sango added. “Thanks to you we all have a better understanding of Tsubaki and, more importantly, an idea of what her ultimate end goal is, something that explains everything that has been happening. You’ve been extremely helpful. I realize there is some distance between us but regardless, should you ever need to, please do not hesitate to call upon the slayers of Tokyo. We will assist you free of charge. It’s the least I can do.”

“Thank you, young one. Your offer is most appreciated.” Kaede smiled at her, rising to her feet and everyone else followed suit. “I wish you all the best of luck in defeating her. I hope you succeed where my sister and I failed.”

“Thank you.” Kagome said, bowing slightly. “We will take care of Tsubaki. I swear it. Between the four of us, we will take her down.”

“You must keep her from completing the spell at all costs. If Naraku were to rise again, I fear what sacrifices would be required to overcome him a second time. The first time my sister Kikyo paid with her life. I do not wish for any more lives to be lost to that demon. He has taken enough already.” Kaede told them, her voice solemn.

They left the shrine and, after looking at the time which read seven-thirty in the evening, decided to just stay at a hotel and travel back to Tokyo in the morning. They had all brought a change of clothes just in case. Arriving at the inn, they booked two rooms and Kagome turned to Sango, clearly expecting to room with her best friend. Sango took her friend’s arm and looked at her, cutting off her chatter.

“Kagome, if you really want to room with me I will, but I, uhm, I just thought since you’re dating Inuyasha now and I’m with Miroku that we would stay with our b-boyfriends.” Sango told her, stumbling a little over the word “boyfriend.” It still felt strange to her, probably because she had gone most of her life without one. Even in the two instances she had had one, it hadn’t lasted long. Her high school relationship had been the longest one at eight months.

Kagome looked at her with wide eyes at first, as if taken off guard. Then her gaze turned calculating and Sango knew her friend well enough to know she was thinking of all the ways she could spin this to her advantage with Inuyasha.

“Okay.” She said simply, accepting it easily.

Sango relaxed at her agreement, breathing a silent sigh of relief. She didn’t want to say it but in the span of five days she had gotten used to sleeping beside Miroku. The sound of his breathing, the heat of his body right next to hers, and the way their bodies would sometimes inevitably entwine in the middle of the night were all things she had come to enjoy, take comfort in, and even look forward to. He was careful not to touch her when they laid down at night aside from a goodnight kiss, but she always awoke with him spooning her, an arm draped lazily over her side pulling her against him, and she felt so indescribably happy and loved in those moments.

There had been a few awkward moments where she had felt him grow aroused behind her and he had apologized to her, not at all embarrassed but also not wanting to make her feel uncomfortable. To be honest, the only reason she had ever felt uncomfortable during those times was because it had incited her own need for him, wetness beginning to pool between her legs. He had excused himself to “take care of business” as he put it, with a wink, and she had laid there blushing and knowing exactly what he had gone to do. She was unable to keep herself from imagining it, which only made her grow wetter for him.

Her body was clearly ready to take that next step, and honestly she was considering telling him yes soon, but the insecurities over her scars along with her general difficulty at being open about her feelings and voicing her wants were holding her back. Still, she was reaching the point of giving in to her desires.

Blinking, Sango brought her attention back to the present and noticed Miroku looking at her intently with a small smile. She returned it and walked to his side, looping her right arm around his left one and leaning into his side. He kissed the top of her head affectionately.

“What?!” Inuyasha’s exclamation caught the attention of them both.

“Please don’t make a scene in the middle of the hotel lobby.” Kagome said through gritted teeth. Some of the other people around them had stopped to give them curious looks.

“I am not sharing a room with you.” Inuyasha responded, almost desperately, lowering his voice so that only his companions could hear him.

“Am I really so terrible that you can’t even share a room with me?” Kagome practically hissed.

“Of course not!” Inuyasha argued back. “But to stay the night in the same room as you, I-- I--”

“You what? Might actually want me? God forbid.” Kagome’s voice was scathing.

“Would you stop it! You know why!”

“Yeah, and I don’t care.”

“I know, which is why I have to care for you!”

“That’s not necessary. We’re rooming together. Okay??”

“Miroku! Tell Kagome to room with Sango.”

“Not happening, Inuyasha. I’m sleeping with Sango. Don’t be a cockblock.” Miroku replied. That last part earned him a glare and elbow in the side from Sango, which he gamely ignored.

Unhappy but also outnumbered, Inuyasha gave up on arguing his case and they all took the elevator to their floor. They had gotten rooms right across from each other to make it easier to seek their friends out in the event anything happened. Kagome had taken the opportunity to grab Inuyasha’s hand in the elevator and they walked hand-in-hand to their room.

“See you in the morning! Ten o’clock, right?” Kagome called to Sango and Miroku as they were about to enter their own room.

“Yes. Good night!” Sango affirmed and they each entered their own rooms.

Kagome shut the door behind her and Inuyasha then proceeded to take in the room. There were two double-beds along with a small TV, a nightstand in between the beds, and a table off to the side. Pretty standard accommodations for a hotel room.

She turned on the TV to pass the time and found a channel marathoning episodes of a popular drama. Eventually, she got ready for bed and then during a commercial break, she turned to Inuyasha who had, of course, settled on the opposite bed.

“Are we going to talk about it yet?”

“Talk about what?”

“You know what. Mating. Inuyasha, I want you to make me yours. At this point I feel like I’m begging you, and I don’t like it.”

“Then stop askin’.”

“Nothing is going to happen to my powers!!” She shouted, and her insecurities took control. She had gone through her whole life wanting no one. No one ever appealed to her; there was never any spark. She had resigned herself to a life of priestesshood. Then she met Inuyasha; strong, courageous, a little rough around the edges but--their banter had become so familiar. Genuine. His actions, while she initially thought they were because of his duty, spoke louder than words. The extra care he gave her, the actual words he did finally express--she couldn’t take the rejection time and time again!

“If you don’t want me then just say so! You say this mate thing is instinctual, which means you didn’t choose it, so if you don’t really want me then just be honest! You’re still half human so I get it; maybe you don’t feel the same way I do and th-that’s ok. Just--stop stringing me along!”

He faced her and stared at her intensely before turning so his legs draped off the bed before he spoke. “Kagome, are you stupid? Did you forget everything I told you? I love you. I need you. And I don’t say that lightly, okay? I don’t do the mushy stuff. I’ve never said that shit to anyone before. But for you, I’m willing to open my heart and fucking try.

“Understand one thing right now-- I want you so bad, you couldn’t even fathom it. Every time I kiss you it’s fucking magic. I have to force myself to stop. When your scent changes--fuck everything in me wants to drop you to the bed and forget your honor and mine. I want to not give a damn, but I have to.

“Did you not hear Kaede? Tsubaki mated with Naraku and look at her. She’s so warped and twisted and there’s no telling how much of her spiritual powers survived, and if they did, whether or not they became perverted by Naraku’s own demonic aura.”

“She was already a dark priestess when she met Naraku and mated with him!” Kagome argued. “She still has her powers, however corrupt they became thanks to all the black magic she’s been performing! Kaede even said their coupling was against nature! Ours wouldn’t be if you’re being honest about me being your mate!”

Inuyasha sighed.

“Kagome, the possibility is still too great for me to risk it. Not when we’re in the middle of facing off against Tsubaki and all her fucking minions.”

“Fine.” Kagome let out a shaky breath, getting herself back under control and swiping at the tears that threatened to spill down her cheeks. “Okay. Inuyasha, I love you but God you are so frustrating. But fine. I’ll relent on one condition.”

“What’s that condition?” Inuyasha asked warily.

“Once we defeat Tsubaki, no more excuses. Right now I am a part of this fight and my powers are necessary. Furthermore, I insist on seeing this through. Especially if I’m somehow linked to Kikyo. Maybe it's part of my destiny or maybe it's all a coincidence. But once Tsubaki is no more, I don’t care anymore. Nothing is going to happen to my power; you can worry all you want but I'm certain of it. I am just as certain in my love for you. But on the off chance you’re correct, we will wait until then, but after that-- no more waiting. I want you to mark me as yours, I want to officially become your mate. Please.” She said the last part softly in a pleading voice.

Inuyasha was silent for a moment in contemplation before he nodded, “Alright. If you’re sure. I promise you.” He knelt down in front of her and took her hand in his. “I will protect you with my life. After Tsubaki is defeated, I will claim you as mine and mine alone.”

She blushed from such a proclamation and couldn’t stop the tears that began to flow from overwhelming happiness. He promised her. They were finally going to mate! She couldn’t stop herself as she flung herself at him, wrapping her arms around him and burrowing her head into his neck.

Stammering slightly he relaxed, realizing her tears were from happiness. He wrapped his arms around her small lithe body and pressed his nose into her hair.

When it came time to sleep Kagome wordlessly crawled into bed beside Inuyasha.

“Wh-what are you doing??” Didn’t she realize what a horrible idea that was?? How he was basically an animal, admitted so just a little while ago?

She merely curled up next to him and wrapped her arms around him, saying simply, “I love you...Please. I promise I’ll control myself. But...I want to sleep beside you. I feel the safest in your arms.”

As much as he knew he shouldn’t, Inuyasha was unable to deny her; especially not when he wanted to have her in his arms as much as she wanted to be in his. He kissed her, slow and passionately, their breath mingling together. Barely able to reign back his demonic half, he reminded himself they were courting. While they were mates and she accepted him, she deserved a chance to see the kind of mate he would be. His inner demon simmered down, accepting the simple touches they gave each other. It would do.

Kagome held true to her word, refraining from immediately brushing her hands freely along his body. She merely stroked his chest and caressed her way to her target; his ears.

He was the one that almost lost himself as he expelled a soothingly happy rumble of pleasure and snaked out his tongue to her previously closed lips. She excitedly allowed him entrance and also explored his own mouth, especially his fangs.

Realizing her scent was starting to spike, he pulled back, growling to himself. He really wanted her. Fuck did he want her.

When they pulled away Kagome was smiling at him and felt like he could drown in those cinnamon eyes as his raging blood calmed. Tucking her head against his chest, they settled down onto the bed and fell asleep that way.

#Inuyasha fanfiction #MirSan #Miroku x Sango #InuKag #Inuyasha x Kagome #Through the Night #MiroSan #SanMir #lots of info in this chapterrr but next up is the SMUT #hohohoho

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