#it really proves to me that i CAN change! i CAN improve if I truly want to try!!!

[lovecried]

˚˖𓍢ִ໋˚ ROUGH AROUND THE EDGES.

you've made your way up the rankings and retired pro-hero, dynamite aka bakugo katsuki, couldn't be more proud.

( fic demographics. ) boku no hero academia, bakugo katsuki, sexually mature | minors, ageless & blank blogs: do not interact & 7370 words.

╰┈➤ retired pro-hero!bakugo katsuki, sidekick turned pro-hero!reader (she/they), age gap (bakugo in his early to mid fifties/reader in their early thirties), alcoholic consumption, standing sixty-nine, playful banter, some bratty behavior, rough sex, unprotected sex (creampie), multiple orgasm, mating press, cum swallowing, slight slapping, dirty talk, etc.

( author's note. ) i realized that im a basic bitch and usually stick to the same kinks and positions in my smut and decided to change it up slightly. ended up having so much fun that im now currently in a bakugo rut and want him to do some very nasty shit to me.

Bakugo doesn’t quite remember when he started feeling so old. When did his hearing become so sensitive? Was it from the multiple times he had was an inch away from his own end— a ringing in his ear that was damn-near deafening? Or is it simply because he’s halfway to his sixties? When had his appetite become so bland? How come he can’t drink as much as he wants now that he’s retired from being a pro-hero? 

He thought the moment he finally received an actual break, things would get better, but he’s wishing to go back. Is there a type of quirk that’ll de-age him? It doesn’t have to last forever, just long enough where he can bask and reminisce in the feeling of being young and in his prime. Now he’s in his mid-fifties and he can’t move as freely as he wants to anymore. He was once a high-ranking hero working his ass off to be at the top and giving himself little time to enjoy it. Not that he could, danger was always a millisecond away. He got everything he ever wanted. He should be proud of it, and he is. He truly is, but God damn, sometimes does he have regrets. 

He’s still nursing this glass of whiskey that the bartender served him for ten minutes, sitting at the bar of a pristine place only open to pro-heros and sidekicks, active or retired. It’s a Thursday evening, a quiet night unlike its usual business. Bakugo’s always here on a Thursday, so much so that the moment he walks in, the bartender Akiri already has his drink waiting for him. Always cold and fresh, like it was served right in front of him. She has a weird quirk— everlasting ice— but it proves to be great in her line of business. 

The television is on and despite the music playing, he can hear the current news report. 

“This just in on Pro-Hero ranking, Spiderweb continues to climb the charts, their venomous webs seemingly seeping a new poison that makes every fall in love with her. Rumor has it that she’ll be the number one hero within the next month—”

Bakugo doesn’t hear your arrival, not hearing the jingle of the overhead bells the moment you walk in. He doesn’t even hear the moment you slide out the chair, its legs scraping against the tiled ground. You frown as his focus remains on the television, watching you when the real deal is right there. He really is getting rusty.

“You're losing your touch, Dynamite,” you slide on the stool, grabbing his drink right out of his hand the moment he falls out of his trance. “A villain could've walked right in and you would've been—” you snap your fingers. “—done for.”

He ignores your comment because he knows you're right. Can't argue that he still had the skills. He had some, but some wouldn't be enough. Instead he takes you, drinking you with his eyes. You're still in your hero suit that closely resembles everyday clothing to the regular eye, but Bakugo knows how you designed your hero fit, he helps you improve it after all. 

An ashy purple top that sucked you in, holding you in place. It had a dark gem-like pattern on it that people could mistake for rhinestones, but you were intricate with the design, using the same fluid you use to take down villains to help create the spider web pattern that runs down the top. Around your wrists, are smaller and more stylistic versions of his gauntlets, resembling bangles to help you store sweat. Similar to his quirk, you form the webs through your build up of yours with further additions. He remembered you explaining just exactly how your quirk works, but started to check out once it became too biological. 

Your black pants were baggy, helping with your own comfort as you had a fanny pack around your waist, holding them up. The boots you wore were another storage for your sweat, your clothes being a tool to absorb your bodily fluids, where you were able to experiment with yourself and further prove your usefulness. It definitely contrasted with your old sidekick uniform— a skimpy piece that you paid someone to have designed for you and you didn't have the heart to tell that you didn't like it. Considering that you're climbing the rankings now, he figures you've finally grown that backbone you used to lack when he first got you. 

“Well, if it isn't Spiderweb,” he turns in his seat to face you. It's apparent that he still works out, arms still bulging out, though he's gaining some chub in some places. But that scar on his face and his facial expression doesn't have you fooled, he's still rough around the edges. “I still prefer Deadly Spider, by the way.”

You roll your eyes with the tilt of your head as you scoff out sarcastically, “Of course, you do, Explosion Murder God— whatever it is.”

“Haha,” he feigns laughter, subconsciously scooting closer to you. “What're you doing here? Shouldn't you still be on patrol?”

“I'm not rumored to become number one for nothing,” you wink. I finished up early. Bakugo snorts. Finishing up early doesn't exist, and you know that. Hearing his snort, you stop the joking and become a little more serious. You technically weren't lying when you said you finished up early. “I was on a case for a while. I should still be out there, but I managed to crack shit down and I decided I needed to reward myself after a long day.”

He nods, bringing his glass to his lips finally. “You've gotten good,” he gestures to the screen.

“I had a good mentor,” you smile. He chuckles at that, “Damn right, ya did.”

You can't help but giggle as you slump in the chair. You can see him looking at you from the corner of his eyes, those vermillion eyes that used to always be set in a scowl now seem to be brighter. He lets out a breath as he downs the whiskey in one go. “‘m proud of ya, (Y/N). You're not disappointing me after all.”

“Have I ever?” You expect the answer to be yes. That there must've been times where you've disappointed him, especially in your early days of being a sidekick. A few UA graduates that had your tail between your legs and didn't know how you survived the lot of it. You made stupid mistakes and were chastised for it. Surely those were the moments where he was obviously disappointed in you, right? 

There's a long pause before he's shaking his head, beckoning the bartender over and asking for two more glasses. The bartender is quick, placing one in front of you and Bakugo. You're not a drinker, but you take a few sips from it. “Nah. Always knew I passed the torch to the right person.”

You snort, calling his blasphemy. “You're lying to me to make me feel good. What about that time I dropped that serum?”

“It was your first big case with me as a fresh graduate,” he remembered that day vividly. It was a month in of you being his sidekick. You were used to being by his side during patrols and smaller cases. He didn't expect to have you thrown in something like that so soon. He wanted to leave you behind, but others thought otherwise and in a rare moment, he didn't follow his intuition. “You were bound to fuck up after being thrown in with the wolves.”

Your eyes widen at his nonchalance, but they become serious in an effort to prove him wrong. Why would you want to? Bakugo can't understand as you start relaying moments where you messed up, whether it was a small accident or a huge fuckup. Stubborn as an ass, Bakugo still upholds his position. “Quit it, won'tcha? If I thought y’er a disappointment, you'd’ve been fired a long time ago.”

“Well,” you start to tear up. “That's refreshing to hear after all.”

“Now, don't make me change my mind!” He knows you all too well, seeing how the corner of your eyes start to water. “Here I thought ya finally grew a backbone, but y’still cry like a baby.”

“What?” You exclaim, not denying his claims. “I've never cried in front of you. How'd you even know?”

“Y’always were on the verge of tears, honey,” he smirks. “It wasn't hard to miss.”

The way honey fell from his lips with ease. His raspy voice sent something straight through you that it was hard to keep your composure. You're starting to remember your younger years where you'd ogle him, all while trying to not cry from him yelling at you. Despite how rough he seemed back then, you had developed a crush that you thought you grew out of. But, here you are, falling back into old ways. 

If Bakugo notices a shift, he doesn't mention it. Instead, swiveling back around to stare at God knows what. You clear your throat, taking a huge gulp of the whiskey. Your throat burns as you quickly question why Bakugo seems to like it so much. “I'm getting better though. At hiding my tears, and I do have a backbone, by the way. Just took me a while to find it, but it's all intact.”

“Good to know,” Bakugo says, dismissively, the atmosphere changing. You try to say something else, but you can't find anything to talk about anymore, despite your mind running with lots of stuff. You remembered a month into Bakugo's retirement that he started coming to Sakura's Blossom— the bar you're in now. A popular place for heroes to relax, somewhere Bakugo used to always avoid as a hero, becoming a favorite for him. When he pushed you to become a hero, your early days were close in its vicinity. You'd always see him walk in, but he's never seen you. It became a regular for him to come in on Thursdays, making it easy for you to find him.

You've always wanted to run after him, tell him how much you're grateful for his endorsement and that you'll make him proud. Because in the midst of it all, you had forgotten to and it was slowly eating at you. You had been raised to always give gratitude and you couldn't even thank the man that put you where you are today. But now, your throat is dry and you still can't. 

You can. You. Can. You can—

Bakugo pushes out against the chair, standing up as he pays for the bill— for both yours and his drinks. He nods towards the bartender before looking down at a speechless you. “Good night, Spiderweb.”

You should've said it then, but you don't. “Good night, Dynamite.”

—

You managed to change your schedule, so that you have Thursday nights free, managing to find another hero willing to switch with you. You start making regular appearances when Bakugo's there, and when he asks, you always lie. Though, you know that he knows you're lying. However, he never says your word. Simply just enjoying your company. 

You missed him, missed having him around. And he realizes that he's missed you. When he first became a pro-hero and as he grew comfortable in this dangerous career, he flew solo. Did everything on his own and didn't want a shadow that wasn't his own following him around. However, as he grew in age and realized that a second hand wouldn't hurt, he hired you to help make things easier for him. 

At first, you were a mere pain in the ass. Like you had said, you had messed up countless times and God, was he close to firing you at plenty of points in time. But, something was hindering him from doing so. He just couldn't do it. So, he kept you and trained you to be who you needed to be— helped shape yourself into someone he was proud of, as well as yourself. Sometimes when you'd seek his advice, your voice would get soft and he’d be reminded of that young woman you once were, but you've grown so much. You still might not believe him, but damn is he proud of you.

“Breaking News! Spiderweb has found themself in a web of her own. An elaborate plan on her part turned against her as a villain gives her a taste of her own medicine. Luckily, other pro-heros within her vicinity were able to help rescue them, but she was gravely injured and was brought to the hospital. Reporters have yet to hear about their condition—

Bakugo doesn't think twice before he's springing from his seat, dropping some cash and heading in your direction. He should've known from the moment that you were ten minutes late than when you usually drop in to chat that something was up. “Fuck,” he curses, climbing into his vehicle and speeding in your direction. If he's got it right, he knows exactly where you've been taken. 

You've been in and out of consciousness the moment an IV has been shoved in your veins from the joint of your arms and biceps. You were in an immense amount of pain, nearly every part of your body aching. When you squint your eyes open, you're greeted with white and you know you're in the hospital. It should be a relief, you're alive, but you feel the tears building up. You've failed. And you have before, but this time it's different. 

In the midst of finding your groove and truly feeling like yourself, you've been forced flat on your back and lost the upper hand, having to depend on others to rescue you instead of doing the rescuing. You were careless, wreckless, a disappoint—

“Where is she?” You recognize that voice. That gruff and raspy voice. It doesn't help soothe the pain, only making it worse as you begin to sob. The machine you're hooked up to starts beeping erratically. 

“Sir, we need you to calm down. She's just starting to become stable. She's in good hands—”

“Then why won't you let me see her?” Bakugo slams his fist into the desk. “She's not in surgery, is she?”

“No, but…” It goes silent from there, hearing a slew of voices and footsteps rushing towards you before Bakugo follows. “That's her! Let me see—”

“Sir, if you do not calm down, we won't have a choice in having you removed!”

You don't remember much from that point on, knowing that Bakugo didn't go down without a fight and probably finding some sort of loophole into seeing you again. When you open your eyes once more, you're more stable and not in and out of sleep. You're still in pain, but feeling slightly better. 

“Yer up,” a deep voice booms, filled with exhaustion as a huge yawn leaves Bakugo's mouth. “‘Bout damn time.”

You should be happy that he stayed to make sure you're in a stable condition and that he cares for you, but you aren't. Only reminded of your mistake. “You—you should go.”

You end up croaking and stammering on your words, but he makes out what you say and scoffs. “What the hell are ya talkin’ ‘bout? Didn't come rushin’ here and fight off a guard just to be told to leave.” 

“Dynamite—”

“Bakugo—”

“Dynamite,” you pause, expecting him to rebuttal, but he doesn't. “Please, I don't have the strength. And, I don't want you seeing me like this.”

“Seeing you like how?”

“Vulnerable.”

He snorts, crossing his arms as he stands over you by the bed. His big arms bulge as he doesn't take you seriously for a second. “Don't give me that shit. I'm stayin’.”

You don't even know why you tried arguing with a stubborn ass like him. You should've known it was pointless. He always seems to get his way, so instead. You do what you do best. Cry. 

And it's worse than he can ever imagine. You're in full-blown tears, sobbing heavily that your eyes will be bloodshot red by the end of it. He doesn't know what to do or what to say to get you to stop, leaving him speechless as he can do nothing but stand there. Why don't you want him there so bad?

“I… I failed you,” you finally sob out, clenching your fists as they crack. Your nails dig into your skin as you force your body to turn away from him.

“What are you talking about?” Bakugo asks, incredulous. “Failed me, how?”

“I got too ahead of myself,” you further explain. “Thought I could take that villain on my own, only to get a taste of my own medicine.”

Is this what this is about? Why you were in such a haste to kick him out of your hospital room? 

His uncontrollable laughter catches you off guard, having you spinning your head to look at him so hard that it hurts. “W-why are you laughing? It's not funny!” 

“Oh, honey.” There he goes, calling you honey in your horrible predicament. “But it is!”

His laughter dies down not too shortly after, a hand instinctively reaching to caress you, pushing away your braids that nurses lazily put in a ponytail. “It was bound to happen. You climb up the ranks, get a little cocky and then God strikes ya down. Happens to us all.”

“You make my near-death experience sound like it's normal,” you mumble.

“It is,” he points out. “For people like us. It's what we signed up for— it's what you signed up. Be grateful you're alive. From what I'm hearing, you'll make a great recovery. If Recovery Girl was working here, you'd have been out of here quicker than this.”

“I thought you were going to chastise me,” you admit. “It's what I wanted— what I needed.”

“If ya wanted it so much, you wouldn't’ve tried kicking me out.”

“Mmm, maybe you're right,” you give up. “You should still, though.”

His eyes grow dark in a teasing fashion, looking down at you. “And give ya what you want so easily? Not a fat chance.”

—

As Bakugo had said you would, you make a speedy recovery, getting back on your toes in no time. You take his advice, taking it easy and to not make the mistakes he made earlier on in going solo. Your ranking has dropped a few, having to live with the next month or so with people ridiculing and noting how you got full of yourself. They were right, you did, and you'll learn to be better— to accept help and ask for it. Being a pro-hero isn't a one-man gig, after all. 

You still have your Thursday nights free to spend them with Bakugo. Your accident seems to bring the two of you incredibly closer, and to the few onlooking pros that saunter inside, it's too close. You scrunch up your nose in laughter. You slap at his chest in your fit of giggles as his arms instinctively wrap around your waist and pull you closer, your head falling to his chest. You're laughing so hard that it's hard to breathe and you're nearly choking. “Woah there, honey. ‘M not that funny.”

You stop laughing, expression turning serious in a millisecond that it's nearly concerning until your voice is barely above a whisper, “Stop calling me honey. I don't think you're aware of what it does to me.”

For a moment, Bakugo’s eyes widen at your openness before they share the same darkness that yours have been growing. “I wasn't, but now that I am, I think I'll just abuse that little info.”

— 

Maybe Bakugo’s alright with this period in his life after all. Being able to say that he's an experienced man, where despite his long days of pro-hero work, he's managed to keep his dick wet through it all. It means he knows how to please someone of your caliber. 

He's a big man, despite the pudge that's grown on him. He can't workout as much as he used to, but picking you up? You're light as a feather. 

The moment he got you through his front door, he couldn't wait any longer. He needed you in a way he's never felt with any other woman. The taste of your lips don't compare to the plenty of one night stands he's had. He's got you in his arms, legs wrapped around his waist as he pushes you against the door. The tent in his pants continues to form, rubbing against you as slick sticks to the crotch of your panties. 

“Fuck,” he curses deliriously, pulling away from the kiss with a hiss. His eyes are low and hazy, filled with wanton lust. “Bet ya taste so good. Been wanting to try ya for a while.”

“Oh really?” You giggle, eyes sparkling in interest. You buck your hips into him, feeling his cock against your core. He's pulling at the hem of your shirt, helping you out of this damned hero costume. “Since when?”

“Dunno,” he shrugs with a pant. With the top of your suit gone, you do him the favor of kicking off your pants. Leaving you nearly bare and for him ogle. His eyes are glued to your chest, getting rid of your bra next to play with your dark and pert nipples. Your breasts are perky, ready to be sucked on. He takes a nipple in his mouth before remembering what else he wanted to say. “Since ya started stalking me at the bar.”

“Wait,” despite the sexual situation you find yourself in, your eyes widen at the sheer fear that he knew that you had watched him. That he had known the small fact that you had memorized his scheduled visits to Sakura's Blossom. You push against his chest, pulling him away from your breasts. “You knew that I knew all this time?” 

“Feel like we're no longer on the same page here,” he furrowed his eyebrows to clarify, fingers trailing to pinch at your nipples. “But since ya started yer regular visits.”

“Oh,” your breath of relief turns into a whine when he twists rather harshly. 

“Y’were watching me from before?” His gaze becomes stern in a teasing manner, moreso like he's bemused by the fact. 

“Used to patrol right next to Sakura's,” you shamelessly admit, gnawing on your bottom lip as you start to grind against his cock. It has him remembering why you're here, what he wants to do to you. “A hot spot for pro-heros— a villain's bound to hit some day.”

“Oh, shut up already,” he finally huffs out. 

“You're the one asking the—” You squeal as Bakugo flips you upside down, feeling his nose press into your mound. He takes a deep inhale that you can feel. His hold on you gets tight, a visceral grip that will have your sides aching by the morning. “Oh, gosh! Dynamite!”

Your damn dedication to calling him his hero name pisses him off, especially in a position like this. “Don't call me Dynamite when I'm tryna eat yer pussy.” The slap to your ass echos the room, you swallowing a breath of air in your shock. “It's Bakugo or Katsuki from this point on, got it?”

He slaps your ass again at your silence. “Ya got it?”

“Fuck,” you finally mewl out. “Yes, Bakugo.”

His cock twitches, loving the way you say his last name. He smirks. “I'll make sure that I have it engraved in your head when I'm done with you.”

“Didn't you tell me to shut up alr— oh…” 

You feel his tongue against your covered mound, pressing into the fabric before the sound of sucking. He can taste you through it. He can taste your juices through the cotton of your panties with no shame at all. His eyes flutter shut as he feels your hands reach for his hips and dig your nails into him. They go through his shirt and into his skin as you can't help but roll your pelvis into him. 

You can feel the blood rush to your head, but fuck are you enjoying this. His desperation to taste you at his front door, not bothering to get you down on a bed. More juices pool from you as you gain more stability in this position, bucking your hips up to his mouth as you feel his teeth graze your skin, catching the hem of your panties and tugging it to the side. The cold conditioned air that breathes down on your core is brutal and in the darkness, Bakugo can see your pussy shine in its wetness. “Shit, I’ve gotcha all to myself, don't I? You're just mine for the taking.”

Your hands traverse to his bottoms, unzipping it as you nod. “‘m all yours, Bakugo.”

You pull down his pants as best as you can, palming his cock through his underwear and hearing a slew of curse words fall from his lips. “Yer gonna be the death of me.”

Finally do you reach in his pants, pulling out his cock. He's been losing a lot of things due to age lately, and he's grateful that an erection isn't on the list yet. Hard and prominent and all for you, he can only see so much, trying to get a good look at your face from the position, but it's hopeless, he can only feel how good you are. With one hand, he uses it to wrap around your waist tightly before using the other to rub two fingers between your folds, hissing when he feels your tongue against his tip. He spreads your slick down your pussy, making your lips all messy of yourself while he tries to remain steady as you take him in.

You can't help but moan, feeling yourself pulsate at the idea of sucking Bakugo off. How the sheer thought of it makes your pussy pool with heat. Legs wrapped around his head, you yearn for more than just his fingers as they dance around your entrance, his middle and index digits a mess. Your heart races as your tongue swirls around his tip, tasting his precum against your lips. You salivate, letting your spit lubricate his cock as you use a hand to hold it up. You shuffle to get your tongue at the base, the tip of it touching the juncture of where his cock and balls meet. You feel a vein just right there and it seems to be a sensitive spot for dear old Bakugo, causing him to shudder the moment you touch it. 

“Keep doing that n’ I'm gonna cum like a little boy,” he warns you. And you were going to keep at it and play the part of a dirty little vixen until you feel his wet muscle at the center of your nectarine. Lips around your clit, Bakugo groans around it, tasting you from the fruit itself. It surely keeps you occupied as you momentarily lose focus. You grip around his base, squeezing it and causing his fingers to dig deep into you. Whimpering at the pain, it jolts you out of your haze as you bring his cock to your lips. It's a ravenous torture between the two of you, trying to bask in your pleasure while trying to grant the other some as well. 

Still, you mewl and moan around his length, eyes sparkling in delight as you swallow his shaft. Cheeks hollowing as his pink, cut top rests on your tastebuds. Pre continues to leak from him, a translucent mess that slides down with ease. He feels so good inside your mouth, and you can feel his legs flexing and contracting at what you're administrating. A true, dirty vixen you are.

But, Bakugo's no better to you. Lapping at your pussy like a starved man, both of you are so eager to give to each other. He tastes the intricacies of your pussy, mapping it out with his tongue as his grip around your waist tightens and his free hand is back to join the party. A thumb pressing down on your clit, building up pressure and has your legs tightening around his head. Around his length, your moans become more high-pitched at the overstimulation, feeling your legs tense then untense. 

Your face is a mess, saliva dripping down to your forehead due to this upside down state. Your head beginning to hurt but you don't have the heart to tell Bakugo to stop because you don't want to. It's bound for him to change positions soon, but gosh, you want to delve in this a little longer. You continue to bob your head, the wet sounds mixing with your slurps further sounding the room. You become daring, letting go of your other hand around him and putting all of your faith into Bakugo. Your upper body dangling upside down as your other free hand travels to cup his balls, shortly remembering that spot he oh-so warned you about. 

You fondle them, greeted back to that jerk of his leg as his waist’s now pressed to the door. He momentarily pulls off of you to curse, “Shit.”

However, he never corrected you or tried to get you to stop, simply speeding up his attack on your clit to receive a close response as well. It works, but you remain focus as your mouth is off him for a second as you stroke his length, finally taking in just how big he is and how you truly weren't able to fit all of him in. All this time, working with an aged cock that could destroy you. It has you whimpering out to yourself at the anticipation of your pussy being stretched out by him. His cock glistens even with such a lack of light, your spit being the work of that. Your strokes are quick and languid, mirroring his reign on your clit, causing your hips to jerk and twitch every so often. 

Your actions falter every once in a while, but you're so determined. You're always so determined, that's what Bakugo adores about you. Even as a sidekick that often fucked up, you had your own way of showing it. You were just like him in a way, stubborn as a mule to get what you want. You just needed to learn how not to give in to people when they bite harder. And here he is, gently nibbling down on your folds, but you refuse to back down, determined to make him come undone. 

You fondle his balls, adjusting his cock up, going to that dangerous place that he warned about. A chaste kiss before your lips are fully around it and you're suckling on one of his sacs. In this position, you can truly get a good whiff of him. There's a musk, but don't be mistaken, he's sure to clean himself. It's not overpowering as you can still smell the minty hint of whatever brand of bar soap he's using. The combination has your senses going to overdrive as your legs tighten immensely around him for a moment. 

That typical clench of your stomach goes ignored as you're determined to make Bakugo release. You're unforgiving and relentless, stroking his cock as mouth tries to fit his second sac of balls in. Your moan has become a melody to his ears as his head hits the door and he tries to remain focused on your pussy. She's so damn close, he grunts to himself. Don't give into her just yet. However, it's easier said than done when he feels his cock twitching in your hold and he moans. Sending vibrations straight to your core, your achievement and his response is enough for that band in your stomach to finally snap as he lets go. 

You both gift each other your essence. You, you're the forbidden nectar in the garden of Eden, your juices so natural that it tastes sweet. There's a tang to it that has him quickly intoxicated as he finds himself addicted. Him, he's like a refreshing taste of cold water on a hot summer day. You're feeling nothing but delight when his white cum shoots down your throat and you have no choice but to swallow everything— you wouldn't dare spit anything out. 

You both need a breather to come back to the present. You're still stuck in this now painful position as your head comes to throb and you have to croak out Bakugo's name to remind him. Slowly but surely does he get you back on the right side up before finally taking a step away from the door. His legs work like muscle memory as his lips plant on yours, swallowing away the pain as he makes a beeline for his bedroom. Pushing open the door and not bothering to have it shut, he hurries to put you down on the bed. He still has you in his arms when he does, grinding his still hardened length against your pussy. All traces of your release disappeared on his tongue, but you can still taste the remnants of yourself, as you both can taste each other. 

Now that you're on a bed, you feel yourself slowly checking out as the pain is slowly alleviated by your comfort. Bakugo mutters some stuff that you couldn't care less about, only mewling and nodding in agreement until you feel his hand grab your face, squeezing your cheeks. It's hard to focus on him, to stare right back into his eyes. 

“Awww,” he coos. “Is it all too much for my baby?” He noticed your disorientation immediately, planting a chaste kiss on your lips as his eyebrows knit with concern. “She doesn't want to stop, does she?”

Immediately comprehending that, you shake your head. “Mmm, no,” you squeak out. However, Bakugo's lips drop to your ears, whispering out, “are ya sure? We can always—”

“Yes— yes, I'm sure,” you persist. “I need you, Bakugo. Would you not help a woman in need?”

He doesn't like the way you stammered out that yes, still peering down at you. However, your eyes have significantly steadied now and that same brand of determination is back on your face to finally convince him. He finally caves with a barely audible ‘okay.’ He dives down to meet you for another kiss, hands roaming to grip your legs. So focused on the kiss, you're taken aback when he hikes on leg up, your knee touching your shoulder. His cock is perfectly slotted in between your folds before he does the same with your other leg. 

“Bakugo,” you groan at this change of position. He claims that you'll be the death of him, but you beg to differ. Your soiled panties are still on you, which Bakugo is sure to get rid of in a hurried haste, pulling so hard at it that it rips. You gasp, calling out his name once more, but he dismisses your complaint. “You'll be fine.”

You feel so exposed with your body pressed like this, in the dark with Bakugo looming over you. His cock slides in between your folds, wet sounds running through the air. You don't know what he's waiting for, so you do the work for him, wanting him to ravish you just as much as he does. That familiar grip returns to his cock and before you can press his head to your entrance, he slaps your hand away. You whine in protest, but he pushes you. “Have some patience, honey. Good things take time.”

The return of that damn nickname he's given you. Once used sarcastically, now one that he's going to use to his advantage because of you— all because you couldn’t keep in your attraction for him anymore. You should be grateful for it. It's landed up in this position, but now he always has the upperhand over you, knowing just how to make you cave. 

You clench around nothing, feeling his shaft go in a back and forth rhythm as it barely presses down on your clit how you want it to. You whine nonetheless, hoping that Bakugo will pity your desperation and give in. “Bakugo, please… I need you in me. Need to know how you feel.”

One hand comes to grab your face roughly, squeezing your cheeks to make your lips pucker up. “Oh, is that right? You need to know how I feel inside you? Or what, hm?” He challenges. “Ya gonna die without knowing.”

You nod, tears pricking the corner of your eyes. “I just might.”

He can't help but chuckle at that. “Yer cryin’, again? Yer tears don't work on me anymore, honey. They just egg me on. Love to see ‘em now. Know that I've got ya all desperate for me.”

“Don't care,” you mewl. “I want you inside me.”

He keeps up at it, gliding his cock between your folds and letting his shaft collect your juices. You're so fucking wet for him that all he wants to do is bury himself deep inside you and finish, but he practices what he preaches and holds himself back. “Is this how you are with all the men you sleep with? Such a whiny baby. Rumored to be the next number one hero, a crybaby for cock?”

He taunts and teases you, pushing out his bottom lip as he tuts. “It's almost cute.”

From all your whining and desperate begging, you don't realize that Bakugo’s now slotted the tip of his cock at your entrance. It's not until his head is inside and he's deep inside you that you fully register his intrusion, a loud sob coming from your lips as he stretches you out. But just as quick as you were shocked, moans slip easily from your mouth as you drag out just how you're feeling. 

Watching you—watching how your eyes are blazed with a fire that's filled with wanton lust. He's never seen it with everyone else and he quickly realized that you've gotten him under your spell and he's so deep in it that he doesn't want to retract. It's as though you're a succubus, a demon that feeds off of lust, with the way the corner of your lips turn upwards in a smile. Your hands come to wrap around his neck and Bakugo puts all his weight on you, causing him to go deeper in you. 

You feel the tip of his cock kiss your cervix, pain mixing in with pleasure. Your back’s barely able to arch against the bed under Bakugo’s heavy weight, but your nails digging into the nape of his neck is enough to communicate just how you feel. As do your words.

“Ba— Katsuki, you feel so good,” that sudden shift from his last to his first name nearly has him cumming inside you too early. The creaking of the bed halts for a moment as his crimson red eyes look deep into yours. With his stillness, it makes you focus on the length that's against your walls, stretching you out. “Yeah, I think I prefer you calling me Katsuki better. Be a good girl and keep at it, will ya?”

It sounds like a request, but in this position, you know it’s a command. You don’t have a chance to respond, not that you were going to. He’s thrusting into you once more, but this pace is more brutal than before as he sits up and drills into your pussy without any remorse. He pushes down on your legs, making them ache as they press against your breast, making them more accentuated. Your moans become more high-pitched as you cry out his name— his first name. 

“That’s it,” he grins, maniacally. “Call my name out like the dirty little slut you are. Let my neighbors know who’s making you feel this good.”

One of your hands drag to cling to his bicep, making marks in a matter of seconds as your juices spill out of you. You’ve never had anyone else make you feel the way that Bakugo does. How he easily takes control and dominates you. With him, he lets you know that while you run the streets of Tokyo, Japan, you’ll always be underneath him. The stinging pain that runs through your lower body is delicious and while you know you’ll bear the consequences in the morning, you bask in the pleasure it secretes now. 

In this moment, you become delirious as your imagination becomes active as you can see a future with Bakugo, but is that what he wants? Hands back on his neck, you tug him down to you. “Katsuki… need you.”

“You’ve already got me, honey,” Bakugo kisses the corner of your lips, pace slowing by a pinch. “What more do you need?”

“Kiss me,” you whisper, eyes becoming glossy with wanton need. Something snaps within the both of you, a sudden shift that changes the trajectory of your relationship with him forever. Time stops for a moment before his lips are on you— lust turning into something more, something fatal. No longer is he pistoning inside you to oblivion, but holding you with more care. Precise thrusts that still get the work done to having you call out his name without a care in the world. 

He’s hitting that special spot inside of you, memorizing the sounds you make just for him. That familiar coil comes back and you bring Bakugo closer to you. “G’nna cum. Please make me cum, Katsuki.”

“Anything for you, honey.” He helps you ride out your orgasm, slowing down as he brings your legs to finally lay on the bed. Not too long after does he empty himself inside you, painting your insides white before pulling out completely. He makes eye contact with you. This. This is the perfect time, your mind tells you. 

Getting your breath steady, you peer up at him. “I never did thank you, y’know.”

“For what?” he grunts, sitting up on the bed, completely towering over you as you stay in place. Climbing over you, he’s reaching for something. Shortly after, he tosses you a water bottle that you catch with ease. 

“Just…” you sigh. “For everything.” 

—

FIVE MONTHS LATER 

"Spiderweb has had such a spectacular come up. From working under retired pro-hero, Dynamite, as a sidekick to being endorsed into a hero. She’s climbed the roster faster than anyone else has and while she had her stumbling moments, she came back to kick butt and prove to Japan that she is the hero they need!"

"We’ve managed to get a video with the pro-hero themself about the announcement of her current hero ranking—" Shortly, they pull up separate footage of a next reporter before it shows you.

“Spiderweb, please tell us how it feels to currently be the number one hero of Japan!”

The camera pans to you, your eyes lighting up in delight. You’re panting heavily standing outside in the hot sun, evidently just finishing a case. You have to catch your breath before your attention is fully turned to the camera. “It feels… It feels unbelievable, y’know? I mean, I’ve heard the rumors about it, but for it to actually come true? It’s only been a couple years into becoming a pro-hero and it feels like it’s something I don’t deserve, but I know for sure that I’ve worked my ass off— sorry for the language, kids!

“I’m just really grateful,” you continue your rambling. “I’m really grateful for everyone who believed in me and put their faith in me, especially my old mentor, the man that endorsed me himself. Dynamite, if you’re watching this! I know I’ve already told you this already, but thank you! I couldn’t have gotten here without you. I love— I mean, I’m forever in your favor.”

It’s a Thursday night and he’s not at the bar this time. Instead, he’s at his place, getting ready to head to yours. He’s lucky he kept the television on to hear you say that. He’ll certainly tease you later for it, but now, a sense of pride washes over him.  “That’s my girl.”

( author's note. ) this was only supposed to be 5k words, but gosh i had so much fun writing this. you guys have no clue.

[actual-corpse]

I.

Want.

A.

Fucking.

CHEESEBURGER

[mazeinthemiroh]

hello!!!! i love ur work sm omg i’m so excited that requests are open <333 i wasn’t sure if they’re still open or not since your pinned says closed but if you did close them feel free to ignore this! anyways i wanted to a request a little skz reaction to their s/o complimenting them after they’ve had a tough day and are kinda doubting themselves? they’re the best boys and i refuse to believe otherwise

stray kids reactions to their s/o cheering them up after a bad day

genre: fluff, hurt / comfort

warnings: none

a/n: sorry i forgot to change my pinned when i announced requests were open 💀 my bad

chan

chan definitely has his bad days. and sometimes he feels like nothing, nothing will be able to lift his mood. but, to his surprise, you prove him wrong every time. without even meaning to, you will soothe his mind and somehow make his day better just by existing. just by being you. the natural praises that come out of your mouth when you talk to him make him realise his worth <3

minho

contrary to chan, minho doesn't have a lot of bad days. but that means, when he is faced with them, they hit harder than he would like them to. he really appreciates it when you're just there for him. when he's ready to talk about it, he will explain his frustrations. after this, you run your hands through his hair and tell him how proud you are of him. he would never want to admit it, but those words made him very emotional. you touched his heart deeply.

changbin

word of affirmation is important to changbin. when he comforts others, he tends to be very supportive with his words, showing that he cares whilst also trying to provide a solution. sometimes his own problems can't be solved. nevertheless, when you see him upset or sense he's worried about something, he really appreciates the praises and the words of comfort you give him. he realises, in these moments, how much he loves you.

hyunjin

hyunjin definitely relies on your words of wisdom and comfort. when he has bad days, he feels like there is a grey cloud following him, constantly there and something he just can't shake. even with loved ones around him, it's hard to shift out of his negative head-space. so when you leave your little words of encouragement ringing in his ear, telling him how well he did today, telling him how well he did always... he tears up. words such as these keep him going.

jisung

hannie can feel down about himself when he feels like he isn't doing enough. it hurts him, the idea that he should be doing more. the idea of being in a slump. he can't stand it. all he can think about is coming home and burying his face in the crook of your neck. and when he does this, you cuddle him close and praise him for how well he has done today. "you tried your best. and that's perfect to me." he will look up at you with shining eyes and whisper a 'thank you.' he is truly touched.

felix

unfortunately there are a lot of times when felix doubts himself. it can be quite disheartening to watch this sunshine boy talk badly about himself. he deserves to be praised because he doesn't give enough to himself. you recognise this and always try your best to offer sincere words of love and support. even if he might not believe your words at the time they are spoken, they will stick with him in harder times, and he will be grateful that you were there for him on those days.

seungmin

seungmin can get frustrated with himself if he isn't learning things as quickly as others or if he's not hitting the notes he wants to hit. you giving him compliments on these days, even if it's something small like 'you look handsome today', you know, something he hears every day, suddenly means a great deal more to him now that he's sad. you make him much, much happier.

jeongin

jeongin can get down about himself when he compares himself with others or makes little mistakes frequently. when he feels he isn't improving, his mindset can turn quite negative and he may feel disheartened. so he really does appreciate your efforts to lift him back up. it's nice hearing the good things he has done from the one he loves rather than his own negative thoughts.

[bubonickitten]

I truly, desperately need the Democratic party to focus at LEAST as much on the undecided progressive as on the undecided right-leaning moderate.

If you really want to earn the votes of undecided people, or--perhaps more importantly--inspire a young generation of first-time voters to vote for you, you HAVE to fucking talk to them and meet them where they are, and then prove to them that you've got their backs.

Like, yes, I'm voting for the Democratic candidate either way because the electoral college two-party system precludes viable alternatives. But forget the discourse about voting, not voting, voting third party, etc. for a minute and just acknowledge the fact that there are going to be people who are not going to change their minds if all you can give them is "not as bad as the other guy." Just, speaking purely in terms of pragmatism and sustainability, "not as bad as the other guy" is a dead end for a large percentage of voters, like it or not. Democrats have got to do better than that if they want to genuinely improve their chances of beating the other guy -- in this election and every other.

(ETA: I should probably clarify that I also don't like or trust the Democratic party, for the record, and this isn't me white knighting on their behalf. I'm just saying if they actually want to court progressive voters, they have to stop being... you know. Like this.)

[delawaredetroit]

Hello, I hope this ask doesn’t bother you but I read your analysis and I consider that your rereading is quite impartial about the characters, which is why I would like to ask you about something related to All Might, Midoriya and Bakugou. I have read some analysis of how Horikoshi developed Bakugou to be just Midoriya, part of the All Might legacy, especially considering the cover of volume 40, bakugou fighting with Afo, etc. However, there is a part of the analysis that doesn’t seem entirely correct to me and that is that Bakugou and Midoriya are redesigning what it means to be heroes.

Although I consider that Midoriya's development of his intention to save Tomura was poorly handled and disappointing, the truth is that at least the idea of ​​understanding the villains or visualizing the humanity in them isn’t something that came out of nowhere in his character, in the end I feel like I didn't amount to anything but I can understand how this redesigns a new way of seeing heroes. However, I don't understand bakugou part in this, because his development is on a personal level, his character doesn’t reconsider whether he is privileged in society because of his quirk and above all he never considered saving the villains or understanding them, if there is something about Bakugou's character is that he had to learn to be a hero for the right reasons, but that doesn’t redesign the society because we understand that all of Class 1A would behave with a heroism less focused on the search for fame and more altruistic vision of it. What's more, from what we can see, Bakugou took it upon himself to "kill" Afo without any thought beyond saying that he was no longer the same as before (and I'm fine with this because Afo is the only villain who was established as irredeemable). and then we could say that he was in charge of delivering the final blow to Kurogiri so Midoriya would have access to afo at the end. I think what I'm trying to say is that I don't see in Bakugou a redesign of what it means to be a hero, but rather Bakugou learning to truly be a hero more Midoriya, Uraraka, etc style, but I don't see him wavering beyond his own personal problems and extend to understanding the enemy in front of him.

Agreed. From a narrative level, everything about early Bakugou is a scathing indictment of hero society. However, Bakugou never really consciously acknowledges these structural problems. The closest he gets is criticizing the One for All users and questioning the prevailing narrative on One for All. Bakugou's character arc is siloed in the his own personal improvement and overlaps in the atonement theme with Endeavor.

Bakugou's personal idea of heroics as a performance of victory to prove himself as the best evolved over the course of the manga. But even for cookie cutter heroes, saving mattered before All Might's last stand in Kamino. Quite frankly, it took until the last arc for Bakugou to meet the bare minimum requirements of a hero within their society's existing definition. Bakugou doesn't offer anything of substance to the narrative themes concerning societal change/the expansion of what it means to be a hero.

[zvtara-was-never-canon]

*bangs head against Wall*

Hopefully this Is the end to this saga

Thanks for answering my asks

"The show called Avatar THE LAST AIRBENDER showing an airbender temple seemingly abandoned, then showing us that the Fire Nation has been there, then showing us the body of the protagonist's father figure, then making him explicitly say he truly is the last of his people is not implying anything."

Motherfucker really thinks the only way to show the horrors of war and genocide is by showing graphic murders. Once again: the people that complain the most about Avatar's writting are often just proving that a show for 7-year-olds was too complicated for them to follow.

Honestly, I'm not usually a gatekeeper, but at this point I'm two seconds away from screaming "IF YOU LIKE THE NETFLIX VERSION YOU DON'T GET TO TALK ABOUT THE ORIGINAL SHOW ANYMORE BECAUSE YOU CLEARLY DON'T GET IT!" I was alreaady not cool with the changes I heard about, but actually watching parts of it to get more context just confirmed to me that the thing is fucking souless.

I would have honestly preferred another Shyamalan disaster level instead of Netflix's cheap pandering to the "Avatar is Game Of Thrones for children" part of the fandom. It's just generic enough that people with no standards convince themselves it's good - no wonder rabid zutarians liked it. The bar is always in hell with them. And you just know they're gonna turn against Netflix too since they've seemingly confirmed that they're gonna make Kataang a thing anyway, instead of pandering to Zutara.

"Bland" is as big of an insult to a piece of media as "bad". "Unnecessary" is THE worst thing a remake can be. I'm so TIRED of people acting like a script being too cowardly to take risks and adding a few shock-vallue moments to pretend is being bold is an improvement over something that at least dared to genuinely suck. I'd unironically take Korra, the comics, and the Shyamalan movie over the Netflix show any fucking day because at least those had a vision. An awful vision, but still, way better than cheap corporate stuff that feels like one big ad for itself instead of a story.

[genericpuff]

That panel of Demeter floating away with the green streaks following her kind of looks like an attempt to "clap back" at your "add the glow back to LO" edits from awhile back, NGL. It's like her going "See? I can still do them! Shut up, haters!" but she still did them in such a half-assed way that they still look bad. IDK how she could forget the methods and implementation of her own ideas over the years, but here we are.

LMAOO there are a few recent panels tbh that def feel like her 'attempts' to bring back old LO art but if anything it just goes to show how far her style has fallen because even when she tries to make it look like she put in the same effort as S1 LO it just... doesn't u.u

Different but related, it reminds me of this panel:

Like, it screams "see! old LO!" but like many of Rachel's attempts to address criticism, it feels like it misses the mark entirely of the point people are making (and yet also proves that Rachel's not putting any effort into the comic anymore because that sketch is better than anything that's been in the entirety of S3, it's such a Catch 22 situation she's gotten herself into with this LMAO).

S1 had sketched panels like these because they were literally concept sketches she simply reused in the comic.

(literally the actual scene of Artemis proving her skills to Zeus was in the pilot version of the comic but never included in the originals for some reason).

The panel above is more intentionally drawn to look like a sketch just to pay lip service to that old stylization and so it feels so disingenuous (and yet , again, it's still drawn better than all the usual panels we get!) and like a bad attempt to draw people in with false promises of "the art is getting better!" when it isn't, it's just one isolated semi-decent panel out of a sea of shit ones LOL

It's like when someone tries to "prove" they've changed by doing one little thing that they've been neglecting/falling through on, but then immediately backpedal into old habits because that attempt at change wasn't really genuine, it was performative. You can't just do one thing and say "see, I've changed!" because that's just not how it works, you won't know until positive change has truly sunk in until after the fact when you can look back on it and go "wait, it's been a while since things have been that bad, I can't believe I used to be like that!" and that can only happen through regular and repetitive efforts, not single 'big' ones to 'prove' to others you've changed. LO is very much in its bargaining "fine, I did the thing and proven myself, reward me now!" stage of self-improvement IMO.

[emblemxeno]

"So tell me... How was it, being alive...?

Xenoblade Chronicles 2 Replay Overall Thoughts!

I blazed through the last 3 chapters in about a week cuz I've been on a crazy high with this game lmaoooo, so here's a last post about my replay of this game and how much I like it overall. Spoilers ahead just in case!

-Gameplay! XC2 is a definitive example of having a high learning curve, but being so exceptionally rewarding.

While I'm less aggro over the game's tutorials than some are, I still agree that the game doesn't go into as much detail as needed to fully exlore the mechanics. A double edged sword of the game as a whole is just the amount of stuff that's involved in just its battle system. Arts, Specials, Blade arts, driver combos, blade combos, accessories, pouch items, affinity charts, etc. Being lax in just one of these things makes the game more of a chore to play than one would expect. But being aware of all of them makes the combat fast paced, strategic, and explosively fun.

But the gameplay isn't just fighting. It's also exploration and quests. XC2 features many gorgeous landscapes to behold and places to visit. Comparing to XC1 though... I like XC1's exploration mechanics, locations and secret ares just a tad more. However, XC2 has the worldbuilding trophy down pat. Certainly XC1 has its justifications for some areas not being populated or the backstory being lined with populous centered conflict, but it is that difference that makes XC2 more appealing in a "worldly" sense.

The politics of Alrest, its underlying message of idealism vs nihilism, building a future that defines and shapes future generations, even the nods to environmentalism and climate change. All of these are poignant and everlasting messages just as applicable today as they were when the game released. So IMO while Bionis and Mechonis are more fun to traverse, Alrest is more fun to experience.

Similarly, quests differ in this game compared to its prequel. XC1 had quests from the moon and back, at times to its detriment, especially the generic ones. However, it made up for that with a strong affinity chart made relevant by NPCs with memorable personalities and objectives. XC2, on the other hand, cut the chaff with the number of quests to be had, but along with that there was a noticeable dip in NPC quality. While I can't easily remember names of townsfolk in either game, XC1 still has the benefit of ties and links being foundational to its questlines that I can pick details and objectives from them out of my brain. XC2 sadly doesn't have that. A best of both worlds scenario exists in the next game, truly fitting tbh.

-Aesthetics, Presentation, and Music!

The game looks great, though definitely dated, most notably in animations and FPS performance. The worst of it happens in crowded city areas, especially Torigoth, which isn't a good sign for such an early locale. Overall, though, it turns out not to be too bad in the long run. You'd expect Mor Ardain and Tantal to have similar issues, but they really don't, at least as far as I know. For sure there's room to improve, but for a launch year Switch title? Very nice.

The ultimate dead horse of this game is its character designs and voice acting. For the latter point, it is pointedly rough especially for the middle chapters of the game, as you can hear the lack of direction from normally great actors. The last 3 chapters though is one stellar performance after another, and proves that talent along with even half decent direction goes a long way, and that it should be a lesson learned that a glaring issue like this not be repeated.

Character designs is touchy obviously. Pyra and Mythra sharing the lead role with Rex while having... let's say 'eclectic' outfits is very much a choice. I won't go into optics of such, as I'm not a woman and therefore don't have the wisdom or experience to comment on this point in a way that's very informed. What I will say is that it's nothing new for Xenoblade, or for the Xeno series as a whole. Is that a justification? No. But it's tried and true at this point.

I like their designs just fine (I also like Rex's for what it's worth). Now some rare Blade designs? Could've gone back to the drawing board. Dahlia is even more of a dead horse subject, but even Nim and ESPECIALLY Newt are ones that I just get the ick about. Talented artists for all Blades no doubt, but the designs themselves are just... yeah.

MUSIC oh god the MUSIC of this fucking game. Great orchestral tracks, electric guitar prominent rock, CHOIR LEAD PIECES, and the solo singer songs like Drifting Soul??? PEAK. Absolute peak. Every track hits where it needs to and then some.

-Characters and Story!

To repeat my earlier points, I adore the touches on the politicization of stuff like usage of mass weaponry, war resources, idealism/nihilism, religious dogma, climate change, and even identity optics. Every one of those points is supported by a stellar main cast, and a surprisingly solid supporting cast.

Rex starts as an idealistic child, with very staunch black and white beliefs. But being mentored by not just Vandham, but also Morag and Zeke, gives him perspective and growth to be the leader and hero Alrest needs.

He can say he's not involved in any war efforts by refusing to salvage weapons, but he realizes that war is more than just weapons. He can have a grand idea of going to Elysium, but how's he gonna do it in actuality. He may share Pyra and Mythra's physical pain, but how does he, as their partner, respond to their pain of being? Their emotions, the fear they carry, how they feel they're threats to the world and are better off erased?

Being an adult means respecting your loved ones decisions, being a hero means not going back on your promises or your fight to do what's right, being a leader means sometimes you have to work with compromises, being the Driver of the Aegis-no, the driver of ANY Blade, means accepting them as all they are, the good and the bad.

But all these lessons would be a bit meaningless if Rex wasn't so in tune with himself in the first place. Rex is more than just optimistic, he's full of love and hope! He's at his strongest when he remains true to that, and only falters when he lets his doubts get the best of him.

It helps that his friends give him something to learn, support, or aspire too, all while having their own developed characters besides that. Nia being of a similar age to him shows how even young people can be jaded by the world treating them horribly, but can just as easily propped back up when they no longer have to fear being themselves. Tora serves as someone who Rex can inspire and share a journey of growth as a Driver, and there's no better path of learning about your own strengths and weaknesses than being a teacher/leader yourself. Morag and Zeke show a positive example of what adulthood is towards the new generations; the former retains her love of her homeland and helps ground the party in reality while becoming more accepting of leaning on others to help without her pride getting in the way; the latter challenges tradition and stagnation, but instead of throwing the whole past away, he wants to confront it and find the most authentic and honorable way to move on.

The politics of Blades' relationships with humans as well... Gramps and Dromarch provide unflinching support to fall back on, being wise "older" members; Brighid and Pandoria deal with the idea of self, the former wanting to learn more about her past despite its apparent futility given the memory loss and the latter going through a then secretive (and possibly dangerous given what happened to Haze/Fan la Norne) procedure because she loved Zeke that much. And Poppi is such a smash hit character, being a composite of impressionable yet idealistic youth, the trials of finding your identity despite abnormality, and being fearful of your own capabilities should they come to harm people in the future.

Jumping off from that, both Pyra and Mythra are just so damn good. Besides their general personality difference, Pyra is surprisingly forceful (chapter 6 climax) and Mythra surprisingly sentimental/sweet (chapter 5 end). They treat each other as sisters because Mythra is just that kind of person, she's not snappy or controlling, she lets Pyra be herself. Both are afraid of their power, hence they want themselves erased from the world; but bonding with someone who was never scared of them or what they could do-something Addam admitted that he was unable to-changed their outlook: they love this world. No longer the pitying "this place would be better without us" type of love, but the "I want to remain and work to sustain this beauty and kindness" type of love.

In contrast, Amalthus is what happens when you let the world's ugly parts dictate your entire outlook-he hates himself just like Pyra and Mythra did, like how Jin and Malos do. Rejecting change by using religious dogma and enforcing control over the world through the core crystal cleansing. Killing Torna's legacy, and blackmailing Tantal. When you hate the world, hate yourself, and have the power to end it, be it through swift destruction or 500 year long stagnating rot, you'll do so.

That outlook is poisonous and is easily spread-look at any far right campaign today and see how they use similar fear mongering, rejection of change, and discriminatory exclusivity! That's unfortunately how a lot of people operate, and that's how people get broken by the systems that harm them and either led to violence (Jin) or wanting to escape by any means possible (Pyra/Mythra). That's why the hero being Rex, an upstanding youth wanting to change the world through optimism, love, and acceptance, means so much as a message. It's incomprehensible to those who don't want to listen (or who benefit by rejecting it) but is given support by victims looking for an answer.

That's the difference between existing and being alive, and ultimately that's what broke me during the final scenes of the game. Malos never existed as more than a machine, basically corrupted by a virus that was Amalthus' misanthropy, but Pyra and Mythra got to live. To witness cultures, meet and talk with people, fall in love with them, have laughs and shed tears. And when that light was reciprocated, they learned they didn't want to die for Alrest's sake, they wanted to live for it.

"So tell me... How was it, being alive...?" is terribly tragic and incredibly heartfelt, because, as Morag says "Most people go their whole lives without finding a meaning to it." I still don't even know if I have mine, or if I'll even find it, and when Malos said his final line that's when the tears started running. A being who sees himself as a monster, who never got to be anything but a destructive burden on people, but who went out with a smile when he realized that had he been awakened by people like Rex or Jin before Amalthus came into the picture, he could've had a life full of love like his sisters got. A life that we all can get. A life that we aspire to and deserve.

How this game manages to capture the emotion of the human mind, is endlessly impressive. A splendid journey from beginning to the end, in spite of some rough spots here and there.

I'm probably gonna take a break from Xenoblade for a little bit and jump back into FE in the meantime. Thanks to all who kept up with my XC2 shenanigans lol.

[luckycheesefoodie321]

Look idk what the new Narnia tv show will bring, and I can absolutely see it improving upon the second and third films… but the first movie was truly something special.

The vision of the director, the wonderful young core cast, the score, the visual and practical effects, the truly elegant cgi, all really bringing the original story to life in the most beautiful way.

I was just as captivated by the film after not having watched it in some 10-15 years, as I was the first time I watched it.

The war scene???? THE WAR SCENE. THE MUSIC. THE BUILD UP. THE TENSION. I CANT.

The way it allows for the quiet moments to enriched the big moments. Peter and Aslan talking for the first time? Peter looking to Oreius “are you with me?” “To the death”???

Even Prince Caspian was such an engaging film, even if it did deviate from the book, bc the cast was so good and the story followed on so well from the first. The understanding of the script writer’s that the characters were now adults flung back into young bodies and their skill level, their mannerisms, their confidence and countenance would all be drastically changed from the first film, and the cast do a wonderful job of projecting that. And obv Ben Barnes was a fantastic addition.

It’s the way that Susan and Edmund had very minimal roles in the first film’s war and leaned heavily on Peter to lead the charge. By the same token, Peter took most of the responsibility upon himself. Susan used one arrow to kill in the first film. Whereas Peter’s first kill was kind of incidental. Edmund used his strategic abilities for the first time in going for the Witch’s ice sceptre.

Cut to Prince Caspian.

Edmund is absolutely and clearly the strategist between the two. He’s the negotiator. The master manipulator. The diplomat. And proves to everyone involved he is a more than capable swordsman - we don’t need to see Peter fight before he needs to. We need everyone to mentally catch up to where Edmund is in his skills. Then Peter leads as he always does at the front of the action. He duels Miraz. He proves his mettle once more.

Then Susan, while initially paired up once more with Lucy, goes with them in the initial raid on Miraz’s castle to fight, demonstrating her expert archery and combat skills. She solos about 7 or 8 mounted soldiers from the ground with her bow. She leads the archers before entering the battlefield herself.

It’s the DEVELOPMENT.

And while Lucy is not involved in the fighting, it’s the way she speaks against the stubbornness of her elder siblings so openly. Who holds firm to her beliefs even when everyone else doesn’t. She doesn’t run away and cry anymore. This is a Lucy who knows how to counsel her fellow kings and Queen.

Voyage of the Dawn Treader, the third film, is where it falls apart story wise, in direction, and in vision - it forgets where the characters were previously. Like I hate when Caspian and Edmund are duelling on the Dawn Treader, and they end in a draw and Caspian says the line “you’ve improved, my friend” “I suppose I have” because BRO. Edmund is a skilled swordsman and several hundred years Caspian’s senior. While he may be in a younger body that doesn’t show the experience, and he doesn’t have opportunities to practice it, he has several wars and combat engagements under his belt and only a year since his previous visit to Narnia. That doesn’t go away. A better line would’ve been “the rust is starting to shed, my friend” “I’m finally warmed up” would’ve been a far less condescending line, even if sweet baby boi Caspian would never mean it that way.

so I definitely would look forward to how the show might improve upon it IF it gets that far.

[pr0cyon-lotor]

SOUL EATER AU!!! SOUL EATER TERUKANE!!!

Hear me out! I'm having thoughts!

 

Teru, after decades of the Minamoto Clan only having meister kin, is the only weapon to come out of the family. He was a surprise, and they didn't really know what to do with him. This caused him to want to improve himself, so he'd be recognized by his family. So he self-wields. He learns how to hunt Kishin eggs and even witches. Although he refuses to become a death scythe until he "proves" himself to his family.

Even though he's one of the best weapons in the school and is comparable to full-on death scythes, he doesn't believe he is strong enough. Everyone assumes that he is a katana, and he doesn't correct the rumor since that's the weapon his family is known for wielding. But I think it would be awesome if he was a Nagamaki! They're quite similar to katanas and have a longer handle, so there's better control as well as more weight in attacks. And they're a bit more versatile since they can counter and block attacks more effectively since you can control the blade more. They also have a longer reach, if I remember correctly.

 

Okay, to Akane. He's a meister with no prominent background, but he's a fine utility meister. He originally joined the school with Aoi as his weapon partner, but they separated when Aoi found a meister who she resonated with better. They're still friends, and they don't have bad blood. Akane typically works with weapons he can match with until they find another meister or they fall out. So he never had a weapon partner to truly call his own.

They met on a mission that was accidentally double booked (or was it? 🤨 Lord Death could've shipped it). And that meeting sparked a rivalry that no one expected. Akane's current weapon noped out of there because the romantic tension was suffocating. (Eventually, they calm down)

I think it would be nice if, after a while, they started feeling comfortable with each other and started hanging out with each other more. And suspiciously, Akane hasn't gone out to look for a new weapon partner in a while, and aren't they hanging out after school a lot more than with anyone else? 🤨

I think it would be silly if they were forced to work together because Teru's 99 kishin egg could be reset for some reason. So they work together, with Akane looking for more difficult missions so Teru isn't bored and patching up Teru if he gets hurt, and Teru actually doing the dirty work because he refuses to accept help. But they underestimate one mission and get ambushed, and Akane is forced to ACTUALLY wield Teru, so they actually have a chance.

And shockingly (or not so shockingly), they're a perfect match! Teru's wavelength was hard to match for anyone normal because it was too strong and erratic, but with Akane being well-versed in changing his wavelength to accommodate his former partners, he could match Teru. They win the fight with minimal injuries and a few more kishin eggs than expected.

Teru took a few days off to fully process everything, with the encouragement of EVERYONE! NO ONE WAS GOING TO LET HIM JUST SWEEP HIS FEELINGS UNDER THE RUG FOR THE SAKE OF NOTHING CHANGING!!! NO ONE WAS GOING TO DEAL WITH HIS BS!!!

So when he came back, he and Akane officially became weapon partners. During missions, Teru still took the initiative and did a lot of the fighting, but with Akane there to fall back on if he needed help, backup, or simply wanted to be wielded.

And when they finally got to the last soul on the list, the witch's soul, Akane was willing to wait for Teru to get stronger, like he usually wanted. But instead, Teru takes on a mission to hunt a witch. They take on the assignment and actually succeed!! :D

And Teru is a death scythe! Then, they kiss. Aren't they cute? I hope they get therapy soon. 🙏

 

I like to imagine that after this, they'll be caring for Kou and Tiara. They're watching Kou and his weapon partner, Mitsuba, and just going, "Wait! We were like that?!" The entire time

[sepublic]

Anyhow, in lieu of a recent post, I kinda wanna apply it to another fandom and say this is the reason why I don't think Emmanuel is gonna redeem himself next season, not necessarily at least. Like yeah sure he FEELS bad but to him this is a test from God or whatever so that justifies everything.

He thinks he's someone who accounts for the long-term, unlike these revolutionaries who think only about improving their short-term mortal lives, and thus forsake their long-term afterlife in heaven in the process. Emmanuel think he's long-term and he's gonna outmaneuver Erzsebet, who will be so caught up in using his night creatures to crush the rebellion that she'll fail to account for what happens afterwards when Emmanuel can just turn on her. He thinks he's fucking Solomon with the ring that can control demons.

Emmanuel is just gonna bitch and moan and weep about all the sacrifices he's making but it's the GOOD kind of suffering, like how Christ had to suffer and make sacrifices, because it's a test from God. He compared himself to Abraham and he was even rewarded with a ram in Tera for his devotion!!! So he could absolutely interpret this as proof he's on the right path and double down.

Emmanuel is such a mediocre father. It's heartbreaking that for all of her teenage rage and rebellion, Maria still earnestly cares for him once she finds out he's her dad, she risks it all in trusting him because surely her own dad will come around for her, and she cares!!! She cares for family!!! And then Maria is burned so hard for that trust, she saw Emmanuel weep about sacrificing her and then do it anyway. Maria lost her own mother, a parent who actually cared, because she dared to assume her dad had the same basic decency as Tera did. She's gonna know better, the poor girl... But at what cost?

And Emmanuel is gonna be Oh Woe Is Me!!! when he sees what his beloved has become. But in the end his Christian savior complex matters more than anything else, even if he DOES care for other things. Because if he truly cared for Maria from the start, he'd have quit his position to focus on raising his daughter. But instead he continued to neglect her, and then endanger her with his night creatures, and then finally outright sacrifice Maria. Because being the Christian savior who saves everyone's immortal souls, at the low cost of their mortal lives, matters more. Like god he must've had a savior complex about providing Tera hospitality when they first met.

"You're not gonna spare them, are you?" Shut the fuck up Emmanuel you're gonna cry yourself to sleep over this and then the next morning decide that you've fulfilled your daily Catholic Guilt quota and can go back to being a dickhead because you feel bad so obviously that proves you're a good person right???

And from a meta standpoint, I suspect Emmanuel is the show's version of Shaft, who was a major villain who died resurrecting Dracula and successfully inflicted real damage against the Belmonts for like two hundred years. The similarities between Emmanuel and Shaft are too many and obvious, and it'd be redundant to introduce Shaft when Emmanuel is right there as the evil priest. I suspect they changed his name because Shaft has juvenile connotations in English that the Japanese creators who came up with Shaft weren't aware of, especially when pulling from the German language.

Granted, Isaac changed quite a bit from his game counterpart, as someone who DID die resurrecting Dracula in the source material; But otherwise, the creative liberties is further support for Emmanuel being Shaft in spite of the differences. I don't think Emmanuel will start worshipping Dracula as a coping method; The show kinda burned the bridge with Dracula as a villain, and there isn't really a meaningful connection nor reason for Emmanuel to latch onto that guy in particular.

More likely, he'll latch onto the demon (probably Galamoth) who gave him the forgemaster machine, and that demon will read Emmanuel like an open book -an even easier read than the instruction manual for the machine it provided- and feed into his savior complex, into his self-perception of himself as a tortured and misunderstood genius or some shit. The demon will stroke Emmanuel's ego as salve after the humiliation of S1's finale, and Emmanuel is gonna snort it like copium until he's convinced this demon is an asset sent by God to assist him; Just as Solomon's demons were. He's gonna be played like a fiddle by some higher demon AGAIN be shocked about it. Again.

[allycat75]

Do you have to keep taking these crappy roles because your pants keep catching fire, Boston Dumb Fuck?

Is that what happened to the red belt?

I really didn't want to perpetuate this pointless discussion regarding the recent (or not) picture, but your peeps seem to think it is important so let me play along for a second. And besides, insomnia sucks almost as much as those who drafted, signed and continue to enforce this morally bankrupt contract. I don't give a fuck if this done all the time. At one point in history, lynchings were public events, gays were blacklisted and arrested without cause and no female could get an apartment or credit card without her husband or a male relative's signature. Things change, you rebrobates!

If it is true that the video wasn't altered or strategically recorded, then that means you have spent the last three weeks since the end of filming doing nothing but work out (including not cheating for your birthday). One could say it didn't have to be that intense because it has been fairly easy for you in the past. But that was 10 years ago and you were super sickly looking during The Materialists, meaning you had further to go. I am sure you have had this supervised by professionals (and there is no need to check your kidney, liver or gallbladder function because I'm sure your trusted team hired the finest trainers and nutritionist who would never cut corners). But your priorities are such that instead of going home and spending quality time with family, including your beloved Dodger, or to further another lie, reflecting with the little racist Nazi wifey, you decided to bulk up Captain America- style (which is Sam Wilson now), and for what? The future failure "Sacrifice" doesn't start filming until September.

And not only did you probably not see your loved (or kinda loved) ones, you seemingly decided not to take steps to improve the emptiness inside you that was probably the root cause of your living ghost look over the past few months. This superficial focus aligns you much more with that talentless fat-shamer you "married" (you may want to keep her, you seem to have more in common than meets the eye). It's all about looks and fuck your soul that drowned when instead of making all ships rise, you sunk to the lowest common denominator. And of course, physical health is key to emotional wellbeing, but the amount of work put into those muscles was meant for thirst traps and not spiritual nourishment, based on the reaction elicited from some blogs to your "new' picture.

The fact that this was clearly manipulated and planned proves your soul continues to be ignored. It means that you and your team spent weeks planning ways to continue to fool your fans and make them look crazy and stupid, specifically, the fans who are truly concerned about your health and safety. I can almost picture the whiteboard now with this strategy all laid out, all the way down to the endgame, using this poor schmuck and his livery service to play your patsy. Hopefully he fairs better than the fired Portuguese teacher who was unknowingly roped in to this by supporting a charity, simply buying a video message from you.

I could be completely wrong and nothing nefarious actually took place. But the sad thing is you and your team have lied, manipulated and gaslighted your fans continously for almost three years, so nothing you say or do can be trusted now. Not a great qualification for a dog food or Audi spokesperson or for a succeasful actor, but it seems your team is only offering you shitty CAA roles, so sincerity isn't required.

This new machination doesn't make you look healthy. It makes you look like a sad, pathetic asshole. Much better! As with everything in your life for the last few years, there is no explanation that makes you look good, so you may as well tell the truth. That is the only work out that can build back your soul, if that is still important to you.

But keep playing with fire, BDF. I think you and your team are the only ones who don't realize you are already toast.

PS- since I'm exhausted from this needless discussion, let me pre-announce some of my reactions to your next possible lame-ass contribution to this unethical farce with some statements below:

"Wow, a picture of Dodger. That's not manipulative."

"That ring finger is looking red, swollen and purulent, probably from moisture build up with it being too large and made of some dubious metal type substance. Shoving your hands deep in your pockets probably didn't help, being dark like a mushroom farm. Hope it doesn't scar and prevents you from placing a real ring there one day."

"You're going to another Comic Con. Boy, you are really leaning into that White Privlege and giving your buddy Anthony Mackie no chance for success"

"Please have Matt Gaetz debate Jasmine Crockett for a two minute segment about child labor laws on ASP. It isn't like at least one of them is trying to save the heart and soul of America, while the other one just wants to see if it helps him get laid. It's what the young people want."

"You do know other dog food brands are Nazi-lover free, right?"

"Have you left no sense of decency" (in case McCarthyism comes up)

[bringthekaos]

I love your writing!! Question. What would have Viktor done post surgery has Jayce not shown up in our hextech dream series?

Oh thank youuuuu I’m so glad you enjoy my writing 🥰 (this ask is in regards to Equilibrium, part of my ongoing JayVik series)

In my interpretation, Viktor is extremely private about his health. If he can do something himself, he always will. And I think we see that in the show; when something is wrong, he pushes Jayce away (when he became dizzy and got the nosebleed at the Hexgate—Jayce showed concern, and Viktor brushed him off with “headache. I need to get to the lab.”)

So unfortunately I think Viktor would have tried to do all of that himself—changing bandages, etc. and if he found that he truly needed help, he would call on someone from the hospital/infirmary/whatever the fuck Piltover calls it. But I really do think that’s a last resort for him. He values his privacy, especially being a Zaunite living in Piltover. He’s probably grown into the habit of safekeeping personal information so that it can’t be used against him to sully his already fragile and hard-won reputation. He knows, intimately, how much harder he has to work to be respected by Piltover’s elite class, and he refuses to give them even a crumb to nibble on. Even when it hurts him in the short term, because it’s the end game that matters. It’s his life and work here in Piltover that matters, if it helps him improve the lives of people in Zaun.

So… he likely wouldn’t have sought out help. He probably would have bathed only as often as was absolutely necessary to keep the area clean, and probably wouldn’t have eaten much for several days, to avoid moving. It would have been hell for a little while, but a hell he is well acquainted with. Which is why it took Jayce barging in on his life like a battering ram for him to concede a little bit; Jayce just had to prove he was a trustworthy guardian of this knowledge, and he had to keep proving it. Old habits die hard, and Viktor is stubborn to begin with. Jayce just has to keep needling at him and reminding him that you’re safe with me.

Thank you again, it means the world to me to know you like my writing!! 💕

Also a quick note to add to this that I am not disabled, I don’t know what the experience is like, but I do love and care for people who are. And if ever I address the topic without sensitivity, or I said something harmful, please do tell me! My DMs are open, anon is on.

[esta-elavaris]

oh i am SO on this. 13 (i'd love to know what character you most want to write for in the future!), 14 and 15 :D

13. What's a character or ship you haven't written/drawn yet but would like to some day? I'd love to write some Game of Thrones stuff one day (Sandor Clegane or Bronn, probably) but god that's a fucking undertaking. Good news is it'll be a sensible 15.6 years before I can reasonably start another new thing so it gives me time to have a think 🫠

Doesn't help that the idea I have for a Bronn fic is one I'm not even sure I came up with - I have a hunch what I'm the idea I'm thinking of is actually a memory of a Bronn fic I read years ago as a teen, so I'd need to comb through EVERYTHING I can find to make sure that's not the case before I begin, because I refuse to begin without doing that, and even then if I found nothing I'd be worried that I just missed whatever story the idea came from, and uhhhh fuck that. But it's good to have something holding me back from my Fic Aquirement Sickness 😭

I'd also love to write a Phantom of the Opera fic one day. I doubt I could bring anything original to the fandom but I mean, I have the same fear with the Dracula fic and folk are still enjoying it for what it is!

14. Is there a character or ship you were so sure you would never write/draw but now you've changed your mind? It wasn't that long ago on this blog where I was furiously insisting to people that I would never write a Boromir fic, I wouldn't put the stress of tackling Tolkien upon myself, it was too much to attempt, there was no chance.

Anyway, HWFG just cleared the 120k word mark 🤡 (and I'm very grateful to the people who talked me into it!!)

There are other smaller fandoms that I always thought I'd never bother with just because they're so small that I didn't think anybody would read them, but you guys are proving that fear wrong and making my day CONSTANTLY with your willingness to follow me into some truly random bs 💜💜💜💜💜

15. Have you noticed your style change over time?

Absolutely!! Little By Little is my oldest fic that I don't hate, and even then the growing pains within that make me cringe a little (CTW followed it, and that's the earliest one that I still like! It marked the end of me finishing a project and immediately hating it) -- the early chapters in particular are plagued by way too much introspection (listen, I'm an overthinker, I have no concept of how much thinking is too much thinking in general).

It does also change between projects, though, I think, because I try to match the "tone" of the source material to some extent.

I also think it's really cool because most of LBL was written when I began writing daily as a rule, and that's when you really see quick and substantial improvements in my ability, so it's been a great way to measure it all!

Novel work is trickier because I get so nervous when I write it that it impacts the quality, so it's less of a linear thing and more dependent on how I feel on any given day. It's wild going back to chapters I wrote when I was worried about it and editing it from a calm mindset so that it's actually good. That whole process is most of why it's taking me so long 💀. When I finished my first draft and went back to the beginning to read (it was all done by hand, so it was a long time after I'd written the first chapter) I noticed that the first chapter was so bad and then suddenly it just? Got decent? When I found my rhythm and got over the nerves, mostly? That was a nice moment. I promptly worried the pal I was living with at the time by walking laps around her living room because I couldn't believe that it was good and I was too excited to sit down. Good times 😭

Thank you!!! 💜

Fanfic ask game

[uncloseted]

how to actively let go of shame and actually love yourself? mantras and affirmations feel so phony and my thoughts actively work to combat them almost, i feel so ashamed of my past and my mistakes that i feel like i can’t overcome them and i can’t love myself because of them? i know it’s important but how to actually make changes that don’t feel superficial, i’m not beautiful or smart or worthy so those mantras make me feel worse :/

Anonymous asked:

How to learn to love yourself and feel worthy in practical ways? Self love and mantras always seem like a mindset I can't learn or truly believe, due to my bad choices and also being treated as unworthy and unimportant and stupid it feels weird to say "i'm worthy, I deserve good things, I deserve love" when I've been show so many time that I'm not and I don't; both by my own failures and actions and by those around me, how do i practically build up self love and confidence in a way that sticks and doesn't feel like phony or like it doesn't apply to me bc I've done such bad things and I was born bad? I know a lot of my fucks ups were due to insecurity and shame and jealousy so I know i need to work on myself, but how?

Anonymous asked:

how to love yourself despite your own past and fuckups? I find it so hard to love myself and develop good self esteem when i can see in my flaws and mistakes and all i know is people treating me less than worthy, i don't feel like self love mantras apply to me because i'm not a good person or beautiful or worthy, and the things i've done and what i am and the way i've been treated prove that, but i know lacking self loves leads to envy and bad choices for me, how i do improve this?

It seems like this is something you're really struggling with and that's really impacting your life. If you can, I would really recommend looking for a therapist who can help you work through these feelings. Mental health professionals have training that can help them figure out what kinds of therapy will work for you and come up with strategies to help you start loving and appreciating yourself. If you're in the US, most health insurance plans do cover therapy, so I would start there. They should have a list of the therapists that are covered in network. PsychologyToday also has a great therapist finder that lets you get a better sense of what different therapists are like, what kinds of therapy they do, and the approach that they take. If your insurance doesn't cover therapy, there are also lower-cost online services like BetterHelp, Talkspace, Calmerry, Alma, and Open Path Collective. If you're a teenager, Teen Counseling is also an option. Working through our feelings is hard, but it's easier when we have someone on our team who can help us figure out what the next step is and keep our progress on track.

Positive Self Talk

All that said, like I was talking about here, I think figuring out how to forgive yourself and, eventually, learn how to love yourself is a process that takes time. As much as I wish there was, there's no magic bullet for self esteem. Building yourself back up, no matter what approach you take, will feel stupid and false at first. When we've spent our entire lives believing one thing about ourselves, we can't just flip a switch and believe something else. Our brains will push back on trying to change the way that we think because our brains truly believe that those thoughts are keeping us safe. But the more that we challenge those beliefs that we have about ourselves and the more that we repeat the alternatives to ourselves, the easier it becomes to start considering that it's possible they're true, and eventually the easier it becomes to believe them.

I want to be clear that I'm not saying you should recite mantras to yourself in the mirror every morning (although that can work, too). Maybe right now, that's way too much. Instead, I would try to notice when you're having a negative thought about yourself such as "I was born bad" and then gently suggest an alternative to yourself. "Is it possible that I wasn't born bad because nobody is born a bad person?" Even if you immediately reject that idea, just considering it is a start. Every time you have the thought that you were born a bad person, just gently ask yourself to consider that maybe nobody was born a bad person. The more times you do that, the more you might be able to get to "nobody is born bad." And then if you keep asking yourself to consider that nobody is born bad, you might be able to get to, "I wasn't born a bad person." The more times you ask yourself to consider the possibility that you weren't born a bad person, then you might be able to get to, "I wasn't born a bad person. Is it possible that I developed these maladaptive coping skills due to something in my childhood or the way I was raised?" It's a long and often slow process, but eventually you can get to "I did the things I did because [insert thing here- didn't have the tools to cope with feelings of jealousy/felt like I always had to look out for myself because nobody else was going to/was raised to feel ashamed of myself for being who I am/whatever], and although that doesn't make my actions okay, I can forgive myself for not having acted differently." And from there, eventually you can get to, "I am worthy of love and respect despite the things that I did." And from there, then maybe you can start looking at yourself in the mirror and saying, "I am worthy! I deserve good things! I deserve love!" But you can't just jump into the deep end with things like this; you have to take it one baby step at a time.

Other Therapies

All that said, for some people, therapies that are focused on challenging thought patterns can be really hard. If that's the case for you, it might work better to take an approach that focuses on acceptance. There are two main therapies in this group- "Dialectical Behavioral Therapy" and "Acceptance and Commitment Therapy". As I said before, it's best if you can find a therapist who specializes in this kind of therapy and who can help you work through your thoughts and feelings. But if that's not a possibility, there are some at-home resources you can use to help yourself.

Dialectical Behavioral Therapy

Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) is designed to help you manage difficult, intense emotions and to better handle interpersonal relationships. There are some good self-help DBT resources here and here. DBT has four core skills that build on each other:

Mindfulness: these are skills that are focused on being present in the current moment. Mindfulness includes things like observing your thoughts and feelings without judgement, doing a mental scan of your body from head to toe, noticing the emotions you're experiencing and describing them, and exercises where you focus on your breathing. Mindfulness helps us realize that our emotions are impermanent, which allows us to better regulate them when we're experiencing negative emotions.

Distress Tolerance: these are skills that are focused on helping you learn to cope with distressing emotions and difficult situations. Distress tolerance includes things like making a list of distracting activities for when you feel yourself headed into an emotional crisis, using grounding techniques (like describing 5 things you can see, 4 things you can hear, 3 things you can feel, 2 things you can smell, and 1 thing you can taste), and other methods of self soothing. In your case, the distress tolerance skill of radical acceptance might be particularly useful, since it focuses on accepting and making peace with things that cannot be changed, like past events, and letting go of the distress we hold because of those events. Distress tolerance skills allow us to be more confident and resilient in our day to day lives.

Emotional Regulation: these are skills that are focused on helping you manage your emotions, change negative emotions, and increase the number of positive emotions you have. Emotional regulation involves things like recognizing and naming the emotions that you're experiencing, accepting that your emotions are valid, identifying distortions in your patterns of thinking, practicing feeling uncomfortable, and coming up with a plan for when difficult situations arise.

Interpersonal Effectiveness: these are skills that are focused on helping you manage your relationships with other people. Interpersonal effectiveness involves things like identifying your communication style, learning how to listen attentively and validate other people's emotions, and how to build trust in relationships. These skills allow us to build a support network of people who can build us up when we don't feel like we can do it ourselves.

Acceptance and Commitment Therapy

Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) asks us to view "negative" emotions like sadness, anger, and jealousy as a natural part of life, accept that these feelings are appropriate responses to situations that we're put in, and to commit to changing our behaviors so they're in line with our values. There are some good self-help resources for ACT here and here. The book "The Happiness Trap" by Russ Harris is also a really popular starting place. ACT has six core skills:

Acceptance: as with DBT, acceptance is a big part of ACT. In ACT, acceptance involves acknowledging and embracing difficult emotions without judgement or trying to change them.

Mindfulness: also as with DBT, mindfulness is a big part of ACT. The skills you'll build here are similar to the ones I mentioned above- observing your emotions and thoughts without judgement, meditation, doing a mental scan of your body, and breathing exercises.

Cognitive Defusion: Cognitive defusion involves distancing yourself from your thoughts and feelings, which leads you to change how you react to them and to have a more objective perspective on them. Instead of assuming that our thoughts and emotions are true, this skill teaches us to ask whether the thoughts and feelings we have are true. Techniques for this skill can include things like singing our thoughts, noticing the automatic reaction we have to certain thoughts or feelings, or using language to distance ourselves from those thoughts and feelings (For example, "I'm noticing that I'm having the feeling that I was born a bad person" instead of "I was born a bad person").

Self as Context or The Observing Self: This skill asks us to recognize that our physical and emotional states are temporary. As people, we're more than just our emotions, thoughts, and experiences. Because we are not our emotions or thoughts, we can choose how we react to the emotions and thoughts that we have. Exercises in this group can include things like exploring the roles we play in our day-to-day lives and noticing the things that stay consistent throughout those role switches that we experience.

Values: This skill asks us to identify what our personal values are. When we know what our values are and are trying our best to live in line with them, it's easier to avoid acting from a place of negativity (like shame, jealousy, anger, and fear).

Committed Action: finally, committed action asks us to create long-term goals that are in line with our values. What are the concrete steps you would need to take in order to align with your values and positively impact your life?

Final Thoughts

I know this all probably feels like a lot of work, and I would imagine that some of it doesn't feel immediately relevant to your pressing concern. But by learning these skills, either thought positive self-talk, DBT, or ACT, it will become easier to accept your past, tolerate your discomfort with the person that you used to be, change the way that you think and feel about yourself, and change the way that you interact with the world moving forward.

[arcplaysgames]

slurps tea loudly

okay as I recap this I am gonna try to navigate my emotions

Oh its the Fortune Arcana boss from Persona 3 but not as good! But the whole point is Sae's cheating anyway so it's not supposed to be fair or fun, that's fine. After proving she's cheating, she turns into her monster form.

She looks like if the SAW movies were a person, jesus christ.

Anyway, lets get to the meat of the situation; the big escape.

Even though Sae's treasure was stolen and the Palace Ruler has been defeated, the casino is not coming apart like normal. (Which is because the treasure they're taking is a decoy, but more on that later.)

And finally we return to the cold open, which admittedly: I fucking loved this. I love that nothing is changed at all, it's just the same sequence again, but now you have context for what the fuck is happening. Now the face the player can use their persona makes sense, now the presence of shadows in a 'real' location makes sense, everything comes together.

No matter how I fall on my opinion on this game, I have been convinced that Joker is the best protagonist of any of these games. With the unfortunate exception to the lack of Gay Options he gets, he is an enormous improvement from P4MC in every metric. I know who this character is, even absent my own input, and he's weird and funny and kind of a huge bitch and salty as the Dead Sea.

Huge fan.

This sequence becomes such a victory lap. Like, I'm still figuring out how I feel about the Whole Thing, but this moment of handing the player control and going "Hey, remember this?" and letting them fucking RACE to the end in the hopes of finally figuring out what the fuck is going on, it's a pretty clever trick. /slow claps for the devs

It's still fucking weird that Kasumi is here tho.

Also: Kasumi has the worst mask of everyone in this game by far. Every time i see it I wanna give her literally anything else.

I do wonder if its a Bebop reference. Oh well.

In the present, Sae offers Reverie a plea deal if he gives her the other Thieves. No go.

His beat-up face is so soft and sad, I just wanna hug him close. He needs a bag of peas against his cheek and a hug from dad so bad.

holy shit the fucking pancakes. Morgana was the one demanding pancakes when the team was talking in the hallway before the studio recording and Akechi walked in saying he heard something about pancakes. He couldn't have heard that unless he'd been to the Metaverse before. He's always known what Morgana's saying from the moment everyone met.

HOW DID I NOT NOTICE THAT

That's really fucking smart honestly. Like, I sussed out Akechi because I'm the audience and I know tropes and story structure so it absolutely had to be Akechi. (Also there were a lot of other hints.) But I'm happy there was a hard piece of evidence for the characters that was more concrete than "have you MET him, he's a murderer."

As everyone and their dog guessed, when Futaba grabbed Akechi's phone, she slapped one of her wiretaps on there. That part's easy.

After that is where things get tricky.

The last thing Reverie does as Sae leaves the room is convince her to take his phone with her and to show it to Akechi.

I am completely convinced that no one in this game has met the real Goro Akechi. Not Sae, not Shido, not anyone. That facade is made of four layers of reinforced cement and the windows are all mirrored glass. He's kind of the inversion of Adachi, who looked like there wasn't a since thought bouncing around in his vacant gaze. Akechi is nothing but loud thoughts, but the container is soundproofed.

Also, it occurs to me right here that someone is directing Akechi, someone has a hand on that leash, and I wanna know what the hell keeps Akechi from spinning around and killing that guy.

Anyway, Sae shows Akechi the phone, he's like ?????? whatever? and they part ways.

Akechi waltzes in, deep-sixes the guard with his own gun, and shoots Reverie in the head.

Your hair has never looked worst, Beige Boy.

"A TRULY SHOCKING TURN OF EVENTS," MEMBER OF LEOPARDS EATING PEOPLE'S FACES PARTY SAYS AFTER LEOPARD SHOCKINGLY EATS HIS FACE.

Out of images.