#it was fucKING DIFFERENT FOR ONCE

[darkdragon768]

I'm so fucking tired of Major Character Deaths just for the Character to come back to life at the very end of the story because of uwu happy endings uwu

[aromanticduck]

Sorry if you're already over 50, I ran out of room (you're welcome to leave your thoughts in the tags or replies!)

If you're younger than 10, get the fuck off Tumblr. People are saying swears on here!

[EDIT: It's OK to vent a bit about negative feelings in the comments/tags, but if you're gonna talk about killing yourself, do me a favour and fucking don't]

[lotus-pear]

top 10 moments before disaster (dazai is about to step on his toes)

[inkskinned]

he says i hate everyone except you and that is addictive and that is kind of romantic and beautiful because you're young and you're kind of a sarcastic asshole too and you don't like bad boys, per say, but you don't really like good ones either. and you like that you were the exception, it felt like winning.

except life is not a romance book, and he was kind of being honest. he doesn't learn to be nice to your friends. he only tolerates your family. you have to beg him to come with you to birthday parties, he complains the whole time. you want to go on a date but - people are often there, wherever you're going. he's just so angry. about everything, is the thing. in the romance book, doesn't he eventually soften? can't you teach him, through your own sense of whimsy and comfort?

at first - you know introverts often need smaller friend groups, and honestly, you're fine staying at home too. you like the small, tidy life you occupy. you're not going to punish him for his personality type.

except: he really does hate everyone but you. which means he doesn't get along with his therapist. which means he has no one to talk to except for you. which means you take care of him constantly, since he otherwise has no one. which means you sometimes have to apologize for him. which means he keeps you home from seeing your friends because he hates them. you're the single exception.

about a decade from this experience, you'll type into google: how to know if a relationship is codependent.

he wraps an arm around you. i hate everyone except you. these days, you're learning what he's actually confessing is i have very little practice being kind.

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

some misc Barn & Wally doodles from the past week or so <3 i heart them

[lucabyte]

"So what's the weirdest possible first (second) impression Loop could make on the party in postcanon?" "Yeah, that, probably."

+ Bonus

theyre just standing there in direct party order while this happens. normal tuesday.

[lookliketaylorswift]

don't listen to ttpd because once you start relating it to your life it's so over

[thecupboardhasitsmoments]

It is so fucking funny to see singlets go 'God it felt like I was someone else back there' and you just sitting there with the occasionally someone else disorder like 'Ah yes. No clue what that feels like'

[cringefail-clown]

the " ive grown accustomed to the idea of not being human anymore, yet ive got this body back. this was the last thing i wanted, and i struggle with the dissonance of my existance" vs the "ive lived as an artificial being for longer than i ever was human, yet theres still so much humanity left in me. ive made peace with the way i am" that is hal and robro in turnabout

[samglyph]

I can’t be the only member of the unhealthily obsessed with gravity falls as a kid to unhealthily obsessed with malevolent as an adult pipeline

[transmascissues]

it really rubs me the wrong way when people say things about how cis women should just date trans men because they see us as a safer alternative to cis men. because the thing is, cis women being with trans men instead of cis men doesn’t eliminate the unsafe power dynamic the way they often act like it does;

the dynamic is just flipped.

generally speaking, a trans man isn’t any safer in a relationship with a cis woman than that cis woman would be in a relationship with a cis man. it just feels like a safer dynamic if you’re the cis woman because suddenly you’ve become the one with the privilege, and if you’re not used to being the one with privilege in a relationship you might not even think to ask how safe the other person is.

the reality is, the reason that relationship feels safer to you is the same reason it’s not safe for us — we’re safer for you because we don’t have the same privilege as a cis man, and we also don’t have the same privilege as you. when you date us because we’re safer, you’re dating us because we have less power.

that’s not to say cis women should never date trans men, or that it’s bad to seek out trans men if you don’t feel safe in relationships with cis men. but you have to recognize the power dynamic you’re opting into — you have to realize that you’re not going into a relationship that’s safer overall, you’re just going into one that’s safer for you. you have to be prepared for the person you’re interested in to have all the same fears and reservations about you that you had about cis men.

and most importantly, you have to actually put the work into being a safe person; you have to put effort into unlearning transphobia overall, especially into unlearning anti-transmasculinity, and you have to do it before you start seeking out trans men.

i’m very familiar at this point in my life with how unsafe relationships with cis women can be for trans men, romantic or otherwise, and i know most other trans men have probably had similar experiences to mine. we know very well that you might not be safe; we need you to know that, and we need you to care enough about us to make yourself safe.

us being “safer” for you isn’t just a nice benefit for you, it’s a direct result of the fact that we are oppressed and that you hold power over us. if you’re going to seek us out for your safety, know what that really means.

[lunarrolls]

listen so closely to me i think liliana temult is a fascinating character and she’s really fun to examine morally but also nothing will ever come fucking close catharsis-wise to watching ashton and orym fucking cross examine her ass in episode 92. the sexiest shit i’ve ever seen “your worst fear is probably my worst fear, and i think we just got a little sample (my worst fear came true because you weren’t fast enough, what will you do when it’s her head on the line?)” and “keep wrestling (you must bear the weight of their deaths on your conscience and know it will never be enough for what you took from me)” like holy SHIT you guys

[daily-crowley]

Crowley Of The Day: gorgeous 😍

(I used up all my hashtags that I couldn’t do my usual GO tags that I always do lol I don’t care)

[inkskinned]

something bad happened to you, and you died, and you came back wrong.

not wrong all the way. the little ways. you forget important dates, stopped going out with friends. it's harder to make you smile. you're apathetic towards things you used to love, afraid of places you used to go to cheer up. quieter. flinching. different.

you came back for love. you're still here for love. what pulled you back was a brightness so loud that even death couldn't outshout it. death heard the call and smiled at you and said okay. go home. somebody is waiting for you.

but you came back different. like lot's wife; you've turned into salt. you used to chirp through life in hops and skips; but now you lose skin just standing up. you have to move slower, skimming across this world without-touching-it. most things feel dull - until they're suddenly all-too-much. life, and being alive just rushes up and over you and you get hopelessly crushed.

you try to explain it to them: it is ugly, but this is what you are, now. the huge golden hoop of your halo now a little bronze ring. you are still watering your plants and wearing the same clothes. after all, you worked hard to come home. this life; so odd and off-color, now that you are wrong.

but they waited for you - it's just that they wanted the "you" that happened before this. the "you" that could sing in the show and hug people tight and look at a blade without breaking down to cry. the you with a smile in pictures. god, holyshit, it's like looking at a completely different person, isn't it. that other-you; the one they actually wanted.

you are the consolation prize. you are the body that forgot the ghost. you are the memory of the bad thing, and the death after; like you are wearing that memory as a banner. you are a fragment, an assembly. simulacrum. you don't make eye contact in mirrors, afraid the light will glance off and your true nature will flash back at you.

you hear them talk about it in their hushed, desperate whispers. sometimes they even admit it to your face; harsh and violent, acid thrown at christmas dinner. god, can you just fucking be normal again. you do not remember what normal is. you had to climb so far to get back here; you are far too exhausted. you want to open the glass door of your heart and show all the gears. can you help resolve whatever got messed up?

you try so, so hard. you came back for them. because you believed they would love you, even when you were so horribly broken. because you believed they would be patient. because you believed unconditional meant "without exception." you cannot do things the same way. you just get tired too quickly these days.

you want to put them on a couch and pour them the tea with hands that shake more than they remember. you want to line them up and draw them a map of where you have had to wander. you want to show every bruise in a backsplash; the little helpless ant of your soul carrying all that weight, over and over. you want to say: yes! it is different! but i did it for love!

you want to say: "i'm not the same, but i'm yours and i'm here. can that be enough?"

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

(volume warning)

this was surprisingly fun to make so i'll probably do another

[uncanny-tranny]

I think one of the most surprising parts of transition, specifically going on testosterone, is just how... normal it felt to me. When I was watching other people go on testosterone and describe how they felt, I anticipated that I'd feel the huge emotions, the spark, I guess. But I didn't. If anything, I went from being a neurotic mess to being... normal. Almost painfully normal. It's like I've gotten a cloth and dusted off this thing I call my body.

I honestly think it's interesting how natural I feel on testosterone. I never really thought I could feel this normal, but I do. It's like I can stand in a crowd and not feel like eyes are watching me, like ants crawling on a log.