#it was more like a queer platonic relationship

[plzandspanku]

it's come to my attention when I say I like jegulily it doesn't mean the same thing as when the rest of you say you like jegulily

they are so much more to me than two pieces of a polycule or queer platonic relationship that happened to share a boyfriend (which all of those things are fine, however not what I thought we were going for)

I meant lily is fucking reg with a strap. they are well oiled machine in the kitchen and if anybody else comes in there while they're working they will die. they are holding each other and sharing kisses well getting railed by James. they have a silent communication between each other that is so perfectly in tune it scares everybody. they purposely get pregnant at the same time and are each other's birthing partners for lemaze and frequently referred to their children as the twins post birth.

the two of them are in a relationship with each other just as much as they are in a relationship with james 

[anne20055]

not short, very nonsensical rant you’re so welcome:

i just saw a tiktok about this girl talking about how guy-friend duos are always more successful than girl-friend duos when it comes to entertainment, specifically on youtube and other similar platforms, and she was giving examples and i was waiting for dan and phil to show up, but they never did, so i looked in the comments and one of the first ones said something like “not the dan and phil erasure”

anyway, i liked the comment, cause obviously, and then i went to the replies, and it was all people arguing about dnp’s relationship, cause of course it was cause the tiktok was talking about guy-friend vs girl-friend duos and nothing more than that, and it has just become so irritating to see.

so many people say “everyone saying they’re friends are all idiots” and i will never understand why we can’t say they’re friends. it’s the label they like to use. all opinions and feelings aside, you can be friends with someone while being romantic. as (mostly) queer people, we above everyone else should understand that labels can be subjective.

i also feel like it’s low-key problematic to use labels that the person hasn’t used first. of course, there’s always a chance that they’ve used “boyfriend” or maybe even “husband” in their private life, but we don’t know that.

they’ve obviously used other non-platonic labels for themselves, like “soulmate”, “4,000 year old tortoise” (which is my personal favorite), “person i live with”, or other things that separate themselves from just regular friends, like “i guess you’re the only person i can count on; phil doesn’t count as a person” from dans grandma video from dystopia daily.

but using labels that they haven’t used themselves can seem pretty presumptuous, even if the label seems like it fits. for instance, you wouldn’t call a pansexual person bisexual, or a genderfluid person bigender. they’re all very similar labels, and might even be interchangeable depending on the person, but they’re not the same.

also, back to the tiktok, the girl even mentions hank and john green as an example, and they are obviously brothers, which she acknowledges, so dan and phil could have been there anyways!!

i really hope this made sense, i doubt it did but im not editing it.

tl;dr, labels are subjective, they can mean literally anything, and don’t use labels that the person hasn’t used first, even if they seem like the right one

[kyetalksshit]

12/30/2023

I'm well aware at this point that this is nothing more than a virtual diary, and tbh I kinda like it that way. I've very recently started being more active again on tumblr and, as is my routine, started scrolling back through my text posts (especially the private ones -- wow there are so many hahaha), and had a wild time reliving the past.

I think it was a private one, but the most recent (or at least one of the most recent) was about Connor, back when we were both still in California. Ironically, we're both back in NC now, and even though I think about them a lot, I'm very relieved I haven't run into them. Thanks to some intel from my sister, I avoid the food lion in our hometown at all costs.

Something I kept thinking though was, it never had to get to that point. We were never meant to be friends that long, and in fact I don't think we were really even meant to be best friends past high school. Maybe even in high school. I mean some of this I've realized on my own ofc, but reading back over how I felt at the time...

Dude that whole friendship started because they fell in love with Kristen, their first best friend, but she was straight and stopped being so close with them after that. I've always been tender hearted and eager for love in any form, and so when they suddenly turned and looked at me and said ok we can be best friends now, instead of being offended that I wasn't appreciated until they had no other option, I excitedly ran into their arms. My family never liked them either, which I should have taken as a red or at least yellow flag, but instead it just made me cling to them more. At some point, my dad trying to tell me that it's ok for high school friendships to falter in college, just fueled my determination to hang onto it no matter how miserable I was.

They literally always took me for granted, and while I think they lowkey hated me, they loved the space that I filled in their life. And the fact that despite all of that, at our absolute worst I was wracked with guilt and pain and tried my hardest to work out my own frustrations on my own instead of calling them out for their toxic and shitty behavior? I understand why I did it, but goddamn I wish I hadn't had to.

Anyway.

I'm back in NC now, just had my first real Christmas in 6 years (or longer if we're not counting the ones where my family and I felt estranged even when I was physically there). It was wonderful and my heart is full. I've been able to see my old friends all the time whether we're playing dnd or not, and I've missed them so much. There have been moments of tension for me lately in that regard but overall I wouldn't trade it for anything. I'm in this townhouse for another month and then I'll have to move again, and my roommate is currently silently moving her stuff out today even though we've got another month. I have a new job working at a vet office as a "pet counselor" and I love it.

There's not much going on for me right now except financial stress, planning for my future, and finally getting to spend time with people I love without reserve. But even so, the whole situation with Connor has been so heavy on my mind lately and I just wanted a space to grieve on that for a bit. Not to grieve the end of the friendship, but to grieve the time I lost while putting off the end.

[zeinkblotpot]

Soooo. Last stream was WILD wasn't it :D

Interested in commissioning?

Please consider reblogging, likes don't do anything on tumblr and reblogging is the only way to keep traction on a post <3

Por favor, considere reblogging, gustos no hacen nada en tumblr y reblogging es la única manera de mantener la tracción en un post <3

[vvanillavveins]

I'm just going to say it: i love Good Omens for its ace-coding (and/or potential aro-coding, too). And, i think that it's very easy to view Crowley & Aziraphale as queerplatonic. When i say that, i don't mean that people are wrong for seeing their dynamic as purely romantic, i'm not at all dismissing the pair's obvious love and care and devotion towards one another. All i mean is that, if you want to, it's easy to read that love and care and devotion as platonic, i.e., a love for the other person's soul, above anything else. And that aspect of it heals a little part of my own soul every time i watch it.

Idk, it's just something about all of their little rituals, the thoughtful compliments, the favours and the gift-giving- done out of genuine kindness, not expecting anything in return except for getting to watch the other smile. Every interaction is full of symbolism and meaning, yet without being based on overt romantic love. It's also about how they can admire each other without touching- not because they don't love each other exactly- but because they are already so aware of their inherent togetherness that there is no real need to prove it through touch. Their relationship transcends physicality in the same way it seems to go beyond the boundaries of traditional romance. Even with the kiss in season 2, we know that it is not part of their established ways of showing affection, and we are shown that neither of them are comfortable with it because of that.

They've spent 6000 years cultivating their own unique love language, and the show goes to great lengths to keep expanding on that- not just throw it away or completely change it once Heaven and Hell are less involved in their lives on Earth. Crowley & Aziraphale's development together really is a beautiful thing to watch- and idk about any of you- but positive or even just neutral portrayal of non-traditional, sexless relationships feels like a rareity, especially when it comes to television. That's why this show is such a big source of comfort for me personally.

I'm autistic- so this might just be yet another case of me just not 'getting it', since i can't read faces or tones of voice- and therefore i'm just not seeing what everyone else is, but i'm hoping at least one other person out there interprets it this way too.

...

[I am talking about the TV show here; their asexuality felt a lot more overt in the book]

[atlas-the-bastard]

there are two wolves inside of me.

one wolf absolutely devours the zolu dynamic of "oblivious idiot and angsty pining idiot". like, a zoro who is constantly internally beating himself up because what the fuck he's gone and fucked it all up how could he fall in love with luffy he's practically betraying him luffy needs a first mate not a lover and it's not like luffy would ever even love him back he just has to suffer this in silence. and a luffy who doesn't even realise zoros internal crisis and is becoming more and more touchy and seeking out zoro more because he just. wants zoro. because being around zoro feels more right than anything. but doesn't stop to figure out what that feeling actually means.

the other wolf just goes fucking nuts for the zolu dynamic of "are those two together or what?" "no one knows they're just like that". they don't know when they started actually being "together", they didn't even really decide, it's always been this way, since day 1 they knew they would follow each other to the ends of the earth and beyond. they don't talk about it, they don't need to talk about it, because they just know, they know each other so well and understand each other as if they're literally part of the same brain. their relationship transcends that of "boyfriends" or "dating", they're simply luffy and zoro. it's always been a mutual understanding, luffy is zoros and zoro is luffys and they belong to no one else and. and. it just feels so natural and right and instinctual and being together is as easy as breathing. even the rest of the crew don't know what exactly they are, but they never question it because it just makes sense.

[incesthemes]

"their relationship is romantic" "their relationship is familial" "their relationship is platonic" you're thinking too narrow. their relationship goes beyond labels. the family is inherently queer. their platonic love is romantic. the erotic is familial. each one is the other and the other is them

[ohitslen]

Yes! I like Vashwood being all head over heels at each other kiss kiss fall in love

Yes! I love them as just very close friends/soulmate behavior

Yes! I love them as found family who bring comfort to each other

Yes! I love them insane and beating the shit out of each other

In conclusion, all flavors are good flavors because they are one of the most angsty mfs out there rn

[fatmaclover]

mac being referred to as joyces boy. her boy. hes her boy. mac being the person to understand joyces writing the easiest. they belong to each other theyre each others lost halves if they were ever separated they would stop functioning. auawhhrhwuah

[mereeples]

Maybe somebody can help me with this better on here.

I recently came out as aroace to my family (took 2 years to do, we’re a Christian family and was scared of getting backlash. They were very supportive with my decision though).

(This got long, added the read more so it’s not giant on my page, lol)

I wanted to find some content pertaining to the aroace spectrum because I wanted to see other opinions and experiences. I’m still trying to figure out where I am on it, y’know? But whenever I look up aroace content, especially on tumblr, it’s a bunch of people yelling about shipping aroace characters and why you’re a terrible person if you do ship them? I get it for some, because some of the ships don’t make sense to me depending on the character, but, I don’t know, I just feel hurt I guess when I see someone say that character CAN’T be with someone just because they’re aroace.

Now before anyone yells, bear with me on this: I’m not referring to romantic or sexual relationships. That argument I can understand, but some make it sound like someone whose aroace is incapable of love or compassion.

I know that I’m aroace because I’ve never been attracted romantically or sexually to someone before. I honestly don’t see myself in that kind of relationship at all. But it doesn’t mean I can’t love or someone else can’t. There are more loving relationships other than just romantic or sexual, a relationship can be a platonic or family oriented scenario.

I’m currently writing a story regarding a platonic marriage, because I was curious about the thought of one. The relationship is way different from a typical marriage, and I honestly like the thought of such relationships where you know you love that person but you don’t show it in a normal sort of way. Like, you just vibe well together and that’s all there is to it.

I don’t know, I guess I just want people to know some of the stuff I see being said hurts sometimes. I get your side of the argument when it comes to people getting romantic or sexual with a character, but it doesn’t mean they are incapable of other types of love or relationships. I’m still new to my spectrum, and I’m still trying to figure out things, but I can’t be the only one getting a tad hurt by this indirectly. I just want people to be a little more empathetic about the topic, I guess. This topic involves a person’s identity, and like all identities, they are not cookie cut the same.

I don’t know, does anyone else have a say about this? (Also, please be nice or let me know if I’m coming off offensive. I’m really just trying to get reassurance or someone else’s opinion on the subject).

(Also, does anyone have any other character interpretations of someone being aroace? I only know of one that I like and I don’t want to talk about him on this blog because I try to keep it PG 13. Only other fictional character I know about is SpongeBob, apparently he’s asexual…)

Keep your smiles bright even during the most bleakest moments in life. 🙂

[charliekellycooter]

how come they havent kissed yet??

[writingmoth]

liking romantasy as an ace person who is more sex-indifferent than sex-favorable is so exhausting. there are all these books that look cool but the authors mostly market them based on spicy levels and spicy scenes and it does nothing for me so i just sit here like :| thats nice i guess haha

[autistic-katara]

girl help it’s been months and the pining hasn’t ceased

[aro-bird]

There's something just so frustrating with the aro and ace communities with people either constantly focusing on getting relationships or trying to find some sort of replacement for allo relationships. It's not directly said, but a lot of posts comes with it the implication that QPRs are a way to replace allosexual alloromantic relationships.

On one hand, I get it. It's a different way of experiencing relationships from what is expected of our allonormative and amatonormative society and that's absolutely revolutionary to redefine what is a committed relationship based on your own terms in a completely aspec way, but I do think there should be some self-reflection here. There's a lot of people just yearning for a partner whether it be a queer platonic one or otherwise or people venting about how they want a relationship so bad or how they'll forever be alone because they're aro and/or ace or within the aspec and it's honestly such a downer to see so many aspec people who are upset with simply being aspec.

Why do you want a qpr or any kind of partnership exactly? Do you truly want to pursue a relationship because it's your authentic desire to be with someone or do you only want a relationship to try to achieve a sort of acceptable normalcy to the rest of society? Are you truly unfulfilled unless you have a live-in partner that would support you in similar ways as a marriage or are you simply responding to amatonormative expectations?

I guess this is one of the tougher questions that aspecs have to deal with and it doesn't help that existing as a single person in society is deemed as weird, strange, and even lonely. It also doesn't help that society is actively harder to live in as a single individual in a practical way as well seeing as single-income households struggle to meet basic needs. That isn't even getting into how much amatonormativity is such an inescapable force that makes it extremely hard to unlearn.

I guess for anyone still reading this, try to reflect. Is getting a partner really what you want for yourself or is it simply a desire to fulfill amatonormative expectations?

[thenamessparkplug]

eheheh squish is a funny word < 3

[dallonwrites]

okay actually looked at the lover boy wip intro again and this has me crazy because the grief in this was meant to all be about bobby but "remember that his favourite fruit was peaches and try not to cry over it" got me because felix's favourite fruit being peaches is like. a recent but definitive part of his character. and i can't remember if i just used peaches as a placeholder for bobby's favourite fruit (he does not give peach to me) and if i first wrote this before or after i decided peaches were felix's BUT now i'm like. what if this passage is him grieving bobby but it spirals around his grief for his relationship with felix??? find a lover the way you found felix and don't lose him this time but also find a lover because you're trying to find a connection as deep as the one you had with your best friend even though you know it can never be replicated. you can never find a lover that will love you like bobby (platonic, to be clear) loved you. find a lover in the fact you are alive even though it makes you nauseous because it just reminds you that your best friend isn't. how do you grieve someone who's still alive whilst simultaneously grieve someone who isnt? trying to grieve two people in two different ways and you feel guilty at the way they blend and blur because it feels like you lose your separate grips on both of them and you don't feel like you have space in you to accommodate all this ache. and like what if i edited all this to make that parallel more clear?? that his primary grief is bobby because he's the one who's dead but he's also grieving felix and probably doesn't even realise it?? and then the two become blurred?? and if he realised this he would actually feel fucking awful about it and like a bad friend?? haha just kidding unless??