#it’s not finished but I’m glad I have a reason to share at least

[sacriou]

Stupid bastard birthday bash

[teapartyprincess4two]

Big Sister- Sturniolo Triplets

pairings: big sister!reader x littlebrother!triplets

classification: fluff, sibling banter

warnings: none, unless you’re easily triggered then all (lol jk)

summary: Reader is a couple of years older than the triplets, having lived a completely different life to theirs by the age of 25 and is invited onto the Cut The Camera Podcast as a special guest. Reader and triplets retell stories of their childhood and learn more about the readers past.

Big Sister PT.2, PT.3

—

“Alright, good morning campers and welcome back to the Cut The Camera podcast. It’s one of your hosts, Nick Sturniolo,” Nick introduced the video casually before allowing Matt to introduce himself.

“Matt Sturniolo,” Matt introduces himself briefly, offering the camera a small smile before averting his gaze toward Chris.

“I’m Chris,” Chris’ introduction, much like Matt’s, was short, sweet and to the point. He allowed his smile towards the camera to do all the talking as he waited for Nick to redirect the introduction.

“And today we’re here with our beloved older sister, y/n! Y/n, introduce yourself,” Nick’s voice held an undertone of excitement as looked at you expectantly. For a second you felt slightly awkward, but soon realized that you were doing this simply because your younger brothers asked you to, not for anything or anyone else. You let out a shaky breath before introducing yourself, “Hi! I’m y/n, Nick, Matt and Chris’ older sister.”

For some reason you believed that your brothers would put up a facade for the camera and pretend their way through this entire session, but Chris’ response to your introduction quickly burst that bubble, “Yeah he just said that genius, he means tell us about yourself.”

Your face burned slightly from embarrassment, causing all three of them to erupt in a slight fit of laughter before you continued. You were slightly glad that Chris responded to you like that because it was normal sibling banter, it made the rest of the interview type questions seemingly easy to answer.

“I’m nervous okay! I’ve never done anything like this before! I’m just a normal girl from Boston, guys. Not all of us can be big L.A hotshots,” you teased, earning a joking scoff from both Nick and Matt. “Anyways! As I mentioned, my name is y/n, I’m 25 years old…” you paused for a second as you thought of what else to say. “I was born in Boston and lived there for a majority of my life but have since moved to Texas. Oh and um… I work in education.” Once you finished speaking you hummed in approval at your own response before continuing.

“That’s all I’m going to say, I have to leave room for any juicy questions you guys might ask,” you wiggled your eyebrows playfully towards Nick and glanced between him and his laptop. He surely had a plethora of questions prepared for you all stored safely on his laptop. The gesture caused him to laugh and cover his face from cringe.

“NEVER. Do that again,” Nick whisper shouted through his laughter, referring to the cringey gesture you had just thrown his way. Matt and Chris caught sight of it too and laughed at both the gesture and Nick’s reaction to it.

A small smile creeped it’s way onto your face as you shrugged your shoulders before responding, “If I don’t embarrass you guys at least once every time I’m with y’all, I’m failing as an older sister.” They each chuckled at this statement shaking their heads disapprovingly. “We have so many embarrassing stories of y/n, don’t be fooled,” Chris chimed in, giving Matt a knowing look.

You glared at your younger brother as Matt nodded and let out a laugh, all of your shared embarrassing childhood memories flooding his brain. This statement provided Nick with the perfect segway into his first question, “SPEAKING OF EMBARRASSING CHILDHOOD MEMORIES! My first real question for you y/n, what is your earliest memory of us all together?”

“Hmm,” you though for a second, pensively tapping at your chin. As you thought of an answer, searching in the depths of your brain for the earliest childhood memory you had with your brothers, they mimicked your gesture and looked off into the distance. Finally you remembered something and began to answer, “I guess my earliest memory would be-”

Before you could finish your answer you realized the three of them were mimicking you causing you to roll your eyes in feigned annoyance, “you guys are so annoying.” It came out playfully, making them laugh. “I’m going to pretend I’m not being bullied by you gremlins and continue to answer this question,” you shook your head with a chuckle and sat back in the booth, adjusting your microphone so it was closer to you.

“Gremlins? That’s crazy,” Matt chuckled, grinning ear to ear at the hideous nickname you had just given them. You waved him off, already beginning to lose your train of thought.

“Considering I’m only five years older than you guys, my earliest memory isn’t all that magical. I think my earliest memory is from when mom took us to go watch Open Season in theaters and you three wouldn’t stop crying,” you laughed slightly, remembering it like it was yesterday. “Justin and I were so mad cause mom had to leave the theater with you guys and we couldn’t find her once the movie was over. We were legit wandering around with nothing but popcorn and soda to our names.”

Chris burst out laughing at this, struggling to contain himself at the thought of you and Justin wandering around a movie theater like impoverished children. “You’re laughing now, but you’d be scared too if your mom just popped out there clones and left you and your older brother alone in a theater. We started crying thinking mom left us!”

“It’s kind of sad that your earliest memory of us involved you and Justin crying in a movie theater, but it’s also so funny that we’ve been absolutely TERRORIZING you from such an early age,” Nick chimed in, both he and Matt joining Chris in his uncontrollable laughter. You smiled from ear to ear at this comment because it was entirely true, as soon as your mom gave birth to the triplets you were completely outnumbered 4 to 1. For whatever reason, God had decided to send you four brothers and gave them each the same goal; terrorize y/n.

“Was Open Season good though? I never finished it,” Matt asked, unable to stop himself from laughing at the pure ridiculousness of his question. This question sent your brothers into another fit of laughter, earning a swift “shut up” from you.

—

The rest of the interview continued like this, light banter being exchanged between you and your brothers. Soon enough, the atmosphere became more serious as Nick’s questions earned more honest and vulnerable answers out of you.

“Okay, so a lot of our viewers are curious and want to know why you moved to Texas,” Nick asks, scrolling through his laptop as he searches for the question he’s going to ask after this. You don’t answer him verbally, instead raising your left hand and wiggling your ring finger for the camera to see. On it rested a beautiful diamond ring and it shined brightly every time you moved your hand.

Chris and Matt hooted and hollered at the sight of the ring, clapping dramatically. “Impressive I know, I know,” you put your hands up in feigned defeat, causing Nick to roll his eyes dramatically. “Elaborate please. You got these two sounding like literal gorillas right now. Hooting and hollering,” the sassiness in Nick’s voice is all too familiar, only egging the other two on.

“Okay, okay. If the ring didn’t tell you enough, I moved to Texas because I got… drumroll please,” you looked between your three brothers expectantly, waiting for them to begin the drumroll. They quickly began tapping on the table and as the tension built you revealed the answer, “I GOT MARRIED!” You dramatically waved your hands in front of you doing a jazz hands movement. When you revealed the answer, they all clapped dramatically as if you’d accepted some type of award causing you to wipe fake tears from your eyes.

“I know a lot of you are devastated that a beauty like myself is no longer up for grabs, but there are plenty of fish in the sea,” you said, thinking that it would earn a more dramatic reaction from your brothers considering you were hyping yourself up so boldly. Instead you were met with a serious response from Chris as he completely disregarded your last statement, “I still can’t believe you’re married, I can’t imagine being married at 25,” he looked down at his lap, shaking his head silently before continuing. “Shit- I can’t even imagine having a girlfriend at all right now, let alone being married.”

Nick and Matt nodded in agreement, making quiet comments about how scary marriage sounded right now. You understood their perspective, but also took into consideration the vast differences in your lifestyle compared to theirs. “Mmm… yeah it can be scary. I was scared, very scared actually,” you admitted. This earned shocked glances from your brothers.

“Why were you scared? You and Jack seemed so excited when you guys announced it?” Matt questioned, surprise written all over his face because this is the first time he’s hearing of this. “I was about to ask the same thing. You seemed so excited when you told us,” Nick chimed in.

You chuckled lightly at the naivety of their comments, “You can be scared and excited at the same time.” They hummed in unison, encouraging you to continue speaking. You took a deep, nervous breath and rubbed your hands alongside your thighs unsure of how much you were willing to disclose to the internet. Nevertheless you braced yourself and continued.

“Well, I’m sure you guys are aware of the nature of Jack and I’s relationship?” You asked, looking towards your brothers to ensure that they were following where you were going. They nodded eagerly, once again encouraging you to go on.

“Yeah, Jack is Justin’s best friend from school,” Chris mentions with a wave of his hand, it comes out casually and hurriedly as if he’s disregarding it as an important detail to the story. “Okay so you guys might not know all of this because you were younger then. But when Jack and I started dating, we kept it a secret from everyone. Especially Justin.”

Your brothers gasped at this revelation, none of them having known this before. “That’s crazy,” Matt whispered, his eyes opened wide. “Matt shut- shush. It’s getting good. Y/n, continue,” Nick quickly cuts Matt off before he can continue speaking, earning a small chuckle from you as you continue.

“Jack and I started dating when I turned 18, so you guys would’ve been roughly around 13 years old?… Yeah, 13. Anyways, we kept it a secret for 2 long years before Justin found out,” all three of your brothers held shocked looks on their faces. Chris’s mouth was wide open, jaw basically to the floor. Nicks hand was over his mouth, his eyes blown open in shock. And Matt held his face in hands as he shook his head.

“This was a long time ago at this point, so it doesn’t matter anymore, but when Justin found out he was really really mad,” you laughed as you remembered the situation, remembering how he’d told your parents about it and everything as if you weren’t a grown adult who could make your own decisions. “What did he do?” Chris asked, eagerly awaiting the end to this story.

“He told mom and dad, which is so weird considering I was twenty at that point. I didn’t even live at home anymore,” you laughed again. “Anyways, he didn’t speak to me or Jack for a good 6 months after that and I really, really didn’t know if he ever would again. He said he felt hurt and betrayed, which I guess I understand, but we hadn’t done anything wrong, you know?”

“I know I said this already, but that’s actually so crazy,” Matt whispered, his face as close to the microphone as possible. “I agree, I wish I was aware of this then,” Nick said, failing to recall any signs of older sibling rivalry in his memories.

Chris on the other hand, had placed on the pieces together, “Wait! Is that why you didn’t spend that Christmas with us that year?!?” At this revelation, Matt and Nick gasped again as they remembered it clearly. You were absent for Christmas that year, claiming to be too busy with work and school.

“Bingo!” You said.

“Oh wow! No wonder Justin was so distant that year,” Matt recalled, remembering how Justin had disassociated the entire night.

“This is all shocking news to me. But it still doesn’t explain why you were scared to get married. You and Jack didn’t get married until you were 23?” Nick pressed further, trying to squeeze all the juicy details out of this story before you decided you’d had enough and moved on to the next topic. You nodded, recalling the initial question that led you down this rabbit hole.

“Right, right. So, after a while Justin and I talked it out and he and Jack made up. Anyways, when Jack proposed to me I felt like Justin would just get mad all over again and I was scared to lose my brother, you know? I just didn’t want a repeat of what happened the first time,” you admitted, allowing the vulnerability of your words to sink into the atmosphere. You were looking down at your lap, picking relentlessly at your fingernails in an attempt to distract yourself from crying in front of rolling cameras.

Nick clutches his heart at this, whispering an almost inaudible “awe” as he looks at you, his older sister, in a completely different light. Never had he thought you to be so family orientated, so worried as to what your big brother might think of you. For his whole life you’d just been his older sister; the person he looked for when he had boy troubles, when he needed a shoulder to cry on, or when he needed someone to talk to that wasn’t Chris or Matt. He had never stopped to think that you were also someone’s younger sibling, looking for comfort and acceptance in your older brother.

“Anyways, that’s why I was scared AND excited for marriage. Why are you scared?” You asked, looking directly at Chris in an attempt to lighten the air and direct the attention towards someone else.

“My reason is gonna sound so stupid compared to that, bruh. Let’s just not even get into it,” he sighed as he rubbed his temples, still trying to process the complete bomb of information you’d just dropped. This caused you all to laugh, the atmosphere changing drastically to what it had felt like a couple of seconds ago.

—

Nick proceeded to ask you a few further questions before ending the session with a quick outro. You waved at the camera, blowing a quick kiss at it and throwing a wink its way. “Stop that immediately,” Nick laughed, scrunching his face disapprovingly at you. You returned the laugh, getting out from the booth to stretch your back from having been sitting for so long. Matt informed you that the cameras were no longer recording, which actually made you feel extremely relieved.

“I’m hungry,” Chris groaned loudly, also getting up from his seat to stretch before making his way towards Matt. They were soon engrossed in their own conversation. Nick made his way towards you, immediately engulfing you in a hug.

“What is going on right now?” You chuckled, returning the hug and patting his back dramatically. He ignored your attempt at turning this into a goofy encounter, instead hugging you tighter before responding, “Thank you for sharing today. And thank you for being such a good big sister.” His voice came out in a whisper, letting you know that he was being sincere.

“Aw, Nick. I love you, bud.”

PT.2, PT.3

—

AN: I only wrote this simply because every thing I read regarding the triplets that remotely involves a sibling is always YOUNGER sister related. As an older sibling, I simply cannot relate to that, so I wrote this for all the older sisters out there. Anyways, I haven’t written ANYTHING since I was maybe 15 (when I was a fiend for 5sos, One Direction, and any other person who popped up on my screen) so don’t judge this or I will cry. It’s not proofread, it’s just for fun. I will possibly, probably, most likely never write anything ever again because I don’t want to. Okay byeeee

-L.A.M.B💗👼🏻

[whatsk-poppinhomies]

Pairing : Lee Felix x F!Reader TW : pregnancy ; miscarriage ; major angst ; Word Count : 3.5k

“Felix!” You squealed as his arms wrapped around your waist from behind, his nose nuzzling against your cheek as the softest chuckle filled your ears that his lips were right beside. Kisses were peppered against any surface he could reach as he swayed your body’s side to side, your own instinctively relaxing against him. “Remember what I said, right?” You murmured, tilting your head up to glance at him, his eyes twinkling with excitement even though he was dramatically pouting at you. 

“I know, I know.” He grumbled, his thumb absentmindedly drawing circles against your stomach. “No telling STAY until the 5th month…” He sighed, his chin falling against your shoulder. “I’m just so excited, and I know they’ll be just as excited as I am when they hear about it.” 

You knew he was excited, you had recorded his reaction when you had surprised him with the news that you were pregnant on his birthday. The little “Congratulations Dad” card slipped in between the birthday card that you had gotten him, and you were so glad that you had decided at the last minute to film him opening the card. His reaction was genuine and precious, and the tears that filled his eyes as he looked up at you with a questioning smile, awaiting your reassurance that it wasn’t just some prank before jumping off the couch and engulfing you in a hug… It had all been enough to bring tears to your own eyes as you continued to assure him that yes, you really were pregnant. 

Sometimes you felt that he was even more excited than you were, and you were only just now entering your 3rd month. Felix had all but started the nursery for the baby by now, the names had already been picked out, and while you wanted the news to be kept from the fans just a little while longer, he was all too eager to tell the guys who shared in his joy about a new family member. He was the best partner to have, when you were feeling your worst and the symptoms were downright awful, he was always there to do his best to help you feel better. That is, until he had to go on tour. 

The announcement of the upcoming world tour was unexpected, and even Felix seemed a little taken back by it. The last thing he planned on doing during your pregnancy was traveling around the world, but you tried to think positively about it, hoping that your positivity would brush off on him and he’d be less reluctant to leave. 

“So you’re sure you don’t need me to stay here with you?” Felix posed the question as he stood by the front door, a duffle bag swung over his shoulder. Even though the question was meant to make it seem like you’re the one who’d need him to stay, both of you knew that he wanted you to say yes, he wanted you to give him any reason you could to stay with him. As much as you wanted him to stay though, you knew that it would be selfish, especially when so many fans wanted to see him. 

“I’m sure, babe.” You said the words through little bouts of giggles as you leaned against the wall, waiting to say those final goodbyes before he was gone. It used to be extremely hard to watch him leave, and you’d usually be the one trying to make up excuses just to delay his departure, but you were used to it now. It’s not that it wasn’t sad still, but after 4 years together, you were better at it, you both were, and you had figured out how to work around the time differences so that you could call each other and at least video chat once a day. This time would be no different, you both knew that. “Plus, by the time you finish the tour and you’re able to come back home, I’ll be close to 6 months, you won’t have to wait so long.” 

His head nodded, and as if you had just told him you were pregnant again for the first time, his eyes gleamed with just something else to get excited over. “Alright… You’re right, and then I only have to wait 3 months… Perfect… I don’t like waiting… I just want to meet them…” His eyes formed into thin crescents as his smile widened, his bag dropping to the floor as he walked over to you, his hands cupping your cheeks before pressing a deep kiss to your lips, the suddenness of it giving you a headrush. “I’ll miss you, angel… Keep yourself safe…” He lowered down just enough to brush his fingers along your stomach before giving it a small kiss that had your heart swelling. “And you stay safe too, my little nugget. Don’t give your mom too much trouble.” He rested his forehead against your tummy for a second, letting out a soft sigh, one last opportunity for you to just tell him to stay, but the silence out lasted the opportunity and he slowly got back to his feet, smiling softly to you. “Make sure you send me daily belly pictures, and video call me at doctors appointments so I can be there… Okay? Please?” 

Even with your reassurance, you knew that this was hard for him. This was the most exciting time of his life, not just career wise, but now at home as well. His family was growing, and he had to leave you when you were most vulnerable. It made him feel awful that he wouldn’t be there for you, and no amount of it’s okay’s would make him feel any less awful. It would be rough, but not without reward. He knew that once he got home he’d be with you again, and he wouldn’t have to wait as long either. 

“Felix, we’re about to go on…” Hyunjin whispered, his hand waving in front of the younger member's face to get his attention away from the video call that he was currently on with you. “We have like five minutes, and I know that you’re not going to just hang up on her, you need five minutes just to say goodbye because you do that back and forth thing that’s really cringy.” 

Felixs face scrunched up with embarrassment as his cheeks were flushed a light pink, his head turning to look at Hyunjin. “I do not take five minutes just to say goodbye, and we do not do the cringy back and forth thing. We promised we wouldn’t be like that…” His head quickly turned back to the screen when he heard your snicker that you attempted to muffle. “We don’t do that… Do we?” 

Your lips pursed and slightly turned up at the corners. “What if I said it totally isn’t cringe and I love our 5 minute back and forth goodbyes.” You posed, but your laugh sounded through the speakers as his head fell back and he let out a groan, especially when Hyunjin started laughing too, patting the younger man's shoulder and giving him an I told you so before walking off. “You really need to get out there though…” 

Now that Hyunjin was out of the room, Felix could return to the matter of the call, and as annoying as his hyung was at the moment, it was a welcomed distraction from what the two of you were talking about. “Call me… text me when you get to the doctors… let me know what’s going on, please.” He whispered, his stress sky high, the first time in a while that he’s felt this way before a show and it wasn’t even due to going in front of thousands of fans that he felt this way. 

“I will…” You sighed softly, and even though he could see it in your eyes, in the way you sat on the couch, you were just as worried as he was, you still tried your best to ease his mind and comfort him. “It’s probably nothing though. I’m sure it’s normal. The doctors are probably gonna think I’m silly for coming in for something as small as this.” Your weak chuckle filled the otherwise silent room, but Felix couldn’t laugh with you, he was panicking, and the worst part was that he was on the complete other side of the world right now when he wanted nothing more than to be with you, especially right now. 

“I’m serious, angel… I don’t care if I’m in the middle of dancing. Call me, let me know what’s going on.” He said, more sternly now as the knocks came against his door letting him know time was up. “I love you, I love you so much… And I love our little nugget too. Be safe, okay? Promise me that you’ll be safe, that you’ll let me know.” 

Your head nodded quickly as you blew him a quick kiss. “I’ll text you, pinky promise. I love you more. Call me when you’re done.” You whispered, and he watched you through the phone, wishing that he could hold you, that he could kiss you, that one push of that little red button at the bottom of the screen wouldn’t make your face disappear from his view. The stupid tour was keeping him away from you, and while you tried to hide it from him, he knew that you wanted him there now, you needed him there more than anything right now. 

Felixs mind was completely overtaken by thoughts of you, thoughts of his child as he stood on stage. He couldn’t even focus on the choreography, his steps out of place and he constantly bumped into the other members who, in any other situation, would have gotten annoyed by his continuous mistakes, but they knew he was lost in his own mind, in his own worries about what was going on back at home. 

It took a while for him to even begin to calm down, but the lack of buzzing in his back pocket was, in a way, more comforting than it usually would be. Things were fine, that’s what he kept telling himself, what the guys kept telling him whenever they passed him on the stage. Back pats and intermittent hugs were common, trying to keep him from thinking too much about what was happening or what could be happening. 

What he didn’t know was that back at home in the small little room with the flowers and the smiley faces on the ceiling, you were curled up on the hospital bed, eyes bloodshot from crying as you held the last ultrasound picture you’d receive from this pregnancy that had abruptly ended with no real reason. 

You didn’t call, not yet, not because you didn’t want to, but because you couldn’t. You couldn’t bring yourself to deliver the news to him when you knew he was already worried about you, when you knew he was standing on stage in front of thousands of fans. If you told him, he’d definitely run off the stage just to talk to you, trying to find the next available flight to make it home. 

So no, you didn’t call him, but you shot him a quick text, hoping that he wouldn’t check it until after the concert was over. “I’m so sorry, Lixie… Nugget is gone…” Was all the text said, truthfully, you didn’t know how to put it. How were you supposed to tell him something so awful when he was thousands of miles away? All you wanted to do was be held by him and cry with him over the future that was snatched away from the both of you without any warning. 

The vibration in his pocket was something that he had been waiting for, his hand quickly reaching into the back of his jeans to pull it out, pretending that he was about to take a picture. The smile that had been on his face at the thought of the new ultrasound pictures he’d be receiving quickly faded when he read the message notification on his lock screen. 

It took everything, everything for him to not collapse in the middle of the stage right then and there, his eyes already brimming with tears as his arms fell limp at his sides. Fans continued to cheer, adrenaline and excitement emanating from all of them, but he was in his own bubble, his sad, dark cloud filled bubble that all of those joyous emotions bounced off of. 

“Felix?” Chan was the first to notice, rushing over to him and quickly pulling him off to the side of the stage, and it was only then, once out of the spotlight, that Felix allowed himself to crumble under the crashing wave of emotions that washed over him. “Wh-What happened? Talk to me, Felix.” 

But he could only shake his head as the tears rolled down his freckled cheeks, his mouth opened but no words coming out, only small gasps as a shaky hand held out his phone to the leader. What was he supposed to do now? He felt like a failure, he failed to be there for you, to be the boyfriend that would always stand beside you even during the hardest times. This was the worst time for both of you, yet you were going through it alone. 

At this point all the other members were staring at him, the entire venue had fallen silent as every one there focused their attention on the crying man that was just slightly out of view. “I-I don’t know what to do… hyung… What do I do?” Felix whimpered, glassy eyes staring up at the man who, for the first time, didn’t have much of a suggestion. Chan didn’t know how this felt, none of them did, none of the other guys had ever been through something like this, let alone so far away. 

“If you need to go home, then go home, Felix.” Was all Chan could offer, a firm hand planted on the younger man's shoulder. “Y/N needs you way more than we do right now, way more than STAY needs you…” And Felix knew that, the problem was that he didn’t know the first thing to do once he got home. Of course, he’d hold you and he’d tell you that it would be okay even though he’d know that both of you felt the complete opposite of okay. 

How was he even supposed to step foot inside of his home when it would just be a constant reminder of the child that he had already prepared for, a child that he loved so much before even seeing them, a child that had been stolen away from both him and you before either of you got to even meet them. How was he supposed to keep composed enough to even be there for you? 

Even if he didn’t decide to go home, he wouldn’t be able to continue performing. He couldn’t even pretend to be excited, let alone pretend to actually care about the show right now. You, the love of his life, were experiencing what he could only imagine to be the worst possible thing that you could ever have to go through, and there was no way in hell he’d leave you alone any longer than you needed to be. Sure, he didn’t know the first thing he’d say to you, he didn’t even know what to think for himself to calm his own emotions, but the least he could be is there. 

“STAY…” He whispered into the mic, not wanting them to worry if he just ran off stage without a word, and he didn’t want to put the weight on Chans or any of the other members shoulders. They’d have to finish the show, the rest of the tour without him, the least he could do is say goodbye and apologize. “There’s… some things… going on at home right now for me… And I need to get back home to help take care of them…” He choked out the words, his eyes glistening under the spotlight that was casted down on him. “I’m so sorry… I promise to make it up to you when I’m able to… But I need to go now.” 

There were a few sounds of disappointment coming from the crowd, but he knew that the fans, the real fans, would understand and they wouldn’t hold it against him. He didn’t even wait for the words of the other guys as he rushed off stage, fingers working quickly to undo the mic that he was wired with. Now that that was over with, you were the only thing on his mind. 

Tears fell down his face in the solitude of first class on the plane that carried him back home, and most of the flight he slept, unable to keep his eyes open once they got too puffy from crying. He felt like the dictionary definition of a train wreck right now, the makeup that had been put on him before the concert had yet to be cleanly removed, the small amount of eyeliner and eyeshadow blotchy under his eyes from wiping them too much. He didn’t care who might see him or the photos that would come out if any were taken. One day he’d tell the world about what happened, and that day they’d understand why he looked this way, but for now, their words would mean nothing to him, their reports were pointless and false. They could say anything they wanted, nothing would ever hurt him as much as the small two sentence text that he had gotten on stage. 

He knew that you’d be upset, he had, in some sense, prepared for that, but he couldn’t have possibly prepared himself enough for the heartbreaking image of you curled up on the couch, your arms wrapped around your stomach and your entire body shuddering from the lingering sniffles that came after your sobs. Your head slightly lifted at the sound of his entrance, both of your eyes bloodshot as they met from across the room. “I’m… I’m so sorry, angel…” He said softly as he made his way over to you, dropping down onto the floor beside you on the couch. You were surrounded with balled up tissues that had been used to cry into and wipe whatever tears clung to your cheeks. 

Seeing you from a distance had been heartbreaking, but now seeing you up close, the way your upper lip was raw and puffy from roughly wiping your nose, your hair dampened by the tears that fell into it, your eyes barely even able to open from how much you’ve cried… It was heart shattering, like the broken pieces that had been left over were now being stomped on and kicked around. “They d-don’t know… why… it h-happened…” You shakily said between shortened breaths, your lips chapped from your open mouthed breathing. “You… were s-so ex-excited… and… I’m s-sorry… Lix…” 

He quickly shushed you, his fingers quickly brushing away the loose strands of hair that clung to your forehead. “It’s not your fault… It’s not…” He cooed, leaning his forehead against yours as his hands moved down to cup your cheeks. “And I’m not going to leave you. I promise, I’m going to stay by your side no matter what…” It was a solid promise, one that he wasn’t going to break. If you wanted to stay on the couch the entire time, he’d stay seated on the floor beside you. If you wanted to lay in bed all day and be held by him, he’d do that if it meant that even the slightest bit of pain you were feeling right now would subside. 

This is why he’s here… It’s for you and solely for you, because even though the pain he’s feeling right now is bad, he can only imagine how much harder it was for you. You had been told the news while you were by yourself, you had to process those emotions on your own, and then you had to go back to the empty house and continue to process those emotions by yourself. You had been the one carrying the baby, and even if it was only for a short 3 months, you had already loved the baby. Felix had caught you on many occasions smiling to yourself as your hand absentmindedly circled over your stomach. Now it was empty, you were empty. He had left for tour, excitedly awaiting coming home and only having to wait 3 more months to meet his child, and now that child was just… gone. There was no family to look forward to, not any time soon, not anymore. Home is where his heart is, you are his heart, you had it entirely. He loved coming home usually… But right now, home is where hurt is, hurt and devastation and shattered dreams. 

[writershapeholeonthedoor]

Tattooed heart

Pairing: Elizabeth Olsen x Fem!Reader

Summary: You have tattoos everywhere and your girlfriend suffers from severe anxiety. You learned to walk around with Sharpies to help her out.

Disclaimer: English is not my first language. TW for anxiety attacks.

MASTERLIST

The room was crowded to the point where you couldn’t even see the exit doors in the back.

That always made you a bit nervous, of course, but mostly because it usually meant your interview would go on forever until people were satisfied by it. Those types of venues were always endless, but it was even worse when there were so many people attending the panels. Don’t get it wrong, you love attending the coms and meeting the fans to debate the characters and movies, and just the entire MCU universe as a whole, but you were only human and, after spending so long being a part of this, you got a bit tired.

Although the interview was going on forever, you weren’t surprised by the amount of people reunited to see you guys talking. It was hard to have most of the Marvel actors in one single interview, after all, so you were already expecting people to crowd the room and want to ask everyone a million questions. The new Avengers movie was coming up, the trailer had dropped just the day prior, and people were excited to know more. You couldn’t blame them.

You had been listening to Evans give out an overly complex reply to a question someone made him for a while now when you noticed Elizabeth squirming in her chair beside you. She was sitting to your right at the large table where you all were and she had answered a few questions as well, although that was the first time you noticed that she wasn’t moving out of boredom or to adjust in her chair again. She was restless, you noticed by the way she looked down at her legs and by the way her fingers pulled at her dress as if she was trying to get rid of a crinkle that didn’t exist.

Over the years, you learned to read her.

When you first met, three years ago, you were immediately drawn to Elizabeth. At the time, she had red hair thanks to her Marvel character, she was wearing black clothes and she had a fake scar above her eyebrow since you met between takes of the new movie you were both going to be a part of. That wasn’t your first Marvel movie, neither was hers, but that was the first time you were going to share the screen. You had heard about her before, obviously, but nothing had prepared you for how it would feel to meet Elizabeth Olsen in person.

You felt attracted to her since the first day, but you weren’t brave enough to make a move, so you spent the next two months of shooting crushing on her in silence - at least to her because you sang like a canary to all of your castmates to the point where they had to make an intervention because no one could take more of your daydreaming about Elizabeth without doing anything about it. That worked, though, and you found yourself sweating like crazy just a week before the movie wrapped while you waited for Elizabeth to finish her scenes for the day.

You had been nervous for no reason, as your castmates predicted, because Elizabeth said ‘yes’ after you managed to spit out your question and you both went for your first date two days later. That night, Elizabeth admitted she wanted to ask you out since the first day too, but she couldn’t bring herself to do it.

“I’m glad you’re more brave than I am,” she whispered shyly when you were holding hands on top of the table. “I’m too anxious to have managed to actually ask you out.”

But that had been it.

You have been inseparable ever since.

Well, besides when you were both working, of course. You hadn’t made any more movies together since your characters took different turns, but you and Elizabeth were able to move heaven and Earth to make your relationship work no matter what.

As the years went by, you learned to read Elizabeth as easily as an open book. You knew when she was stressed and needed to spend some time in her garden to relax. You knew when Elizabeth was cooking because she wanted to, when she was doing it because she had to eat and when she was stress-cooking. You knew when she liked the movie you were watching by the way she bit her lip and when she couldn’t care less about what was on the TV by the way she kept sighing. There were many little things about Elizabeth that you took notice of over the years, things that you carefully stocked in your memories because they were all details that made you love her more and more every day.

However, there was one thing you made a bigger effort to keep track of.

Her anxiety.

Elizabeth has been suffering from severe anxiety for many years now. She had talked about it in interviews and other things, but no one could understand the magnitude of her anxiety attacks unless they experienced it in person. You had been there to a fair share of them since you met, from the smaller ones where she would complain about feeling like a small weight in her chest to the bigger ones where you had to rush her to the hospital because you honestly thought she was about to have a heart attack. Since that day, you had vowed to always be attuned to the signals of her crisis so you could help Elizabeth get out of them before things got too hard for her to handle.

Elizabeth used to apologize every single time about it, about how she sometimes wouldn’t want to leave the house, how sometimes she would ask you to leave the restaurant that took you both so long to get a table at, how sometimes she needed to sit in complete silence to get herself together, but you always made sure to tell her it wasn’t her fault. Elizabeth had struggled with anxiety, panic attacks and social anxiety for many years now not because she wanted to, but because the media had chased her since she was young and she had grown in fear. That was something she struggled with and something you could help her with.

Or try your best, at the very least.

Since you knew about all of this, you easily realized Elizabeth’s anxiety was making an appearance, slipping through her very strong grip. You could see by the way her green eyes started moving around without focusing on anything, how her jaw clenched, how her breath became heavier and how her fingers kept picking at her dress. Evans was still talking and there was a microphone in front of you, not to mention how there were literally hundreds of eyes and cameras staring at you at that moment, so you couldn’t take her hands and ask her to breathe with you like you usually did.

You had to think fast, however, because Elizabeth’s anxiety escalates quickly and you wouldn’t want that to happen in a room filled with strangers since that was probably the reason why it was happening anyway. Elizabeth had gotten better at dealing with attending those events, giving interviews and talking with fans, but that didn’t mean she didn’t struggle every once in a while. It was still something that wasn’t easy for her, something that made her natural instincts ask her to run away as fast as she could.

Those long interviews made you tired, but they absolutely terrified Elizabeth. She hated the crowded room because she couldn’t spot the exit and her brain would play little tricks at her saying that, if something bad happened, there weren’t enough emergency doors to take everyone out safely. The cameras pointed at her made her overly conscious of every move she made, afraid of what people might capture to spread around. The screams and yells that the fans let go every once in a while made her ears hurt and her insides churn. It was awful.

Averting your eyes so people wouldn’t notice you had been watching her, you placed a gentle hand on her thigh under the table to offer her some comfort. That made Elizabeth jump in surprise, though, since she hadn’t been expecting it, so you quickly removed your hand and offered her a small smile in apology when she glanced at you. You felt bad about it, especially when you noticed the fear in her eyes, but you still tried to calm her down by offering her a smile.

Some of her tension washed away and her shoulders relaxed enough for you to feel safe to touch her again. When your hand touched her thigh this time around, Elizabeth was expecting it and she allowed the touch with a sigh. She threw you a thankful look before turning her head to the side to pay attention to what was being said in case anyone decided to pull her into the conversation, something you also tried to do.

Luckily - so damn luck, indeed - the interview ended just a few minutes after that. You played your part waving at the fans and offering them smiles, but you still held Elizabeth’s hand to pull her away from there as fast as you could without actually running. You were both sitting in the middle of the large table so it wasn’t an easy task. However, your eyes met Zendaya’s eyes for a moment and the girl wasted no time trying to discreetly move everyone out of the way so you could walk past with Elizabeth.

You took your girlfriend backstage and avoided everyone who tried to talk with you on the way until you found a quiet corner to sit down with her. You sat her down on top of a large technical equipment box and you jumped up to sit beside her, already shoving your hand inside your pocket to remove the three Sharpies you had taken with you that day. Green, blue and lilac were the colors you took from the case before leaving the hotel room that afternoon, and you didn’t think twice before handing them to her.

“Come on, I’m your canvas,” you told her lightly while reaching out your arm to her.

Your right arm was filled with tattoos from your shoulders to your wrist. That was something that made many casting directors frown to, but you loved it. That’s the way you find to express yourself and something you cherish. The tattoos were all blackwork, which means they didn’t have any colors added to them, and they were all different drawings that entwined between them thanks to the amazing work of your tattoo artist.

The first time Elizabeth ever drew on your skin was when you took her to the hospital that fateful day. You had seen your girlfriend looking so sad and scared lying down in a hospital bed after the doctor left saying it had been an anxiety attack that you just had to do something. You knew Elizabeth liked to use her hands to help herself calm down because she would run to her garden and spend hours there tending to the plants, putting her hands in the dirt and delicately touching every leaf. That’s why you took the pen that the doctor left behind without noticing and started to look for something she could write on, but there was nothing.

So, you just handed her the pen and told her to write something on your arm.

Elizabeth had looked at you like you were insane for even suggesting it and it took you a while to convince her to give it a try, however, it played out perfectly in the end. Elizabeth spent hours using the blue pen to color your tattoos and it did wonderful things to her anxiety. When the doctor returned, he was happy to say she was good to go and you were just glad that Elizabeth was back to her usual self asking you if you could stop somewhere to eat.

It wasn’t a perfect solution. It was temporary since it usually just calmed her down enough to keep going for a few more hours, but Elizabeth still needed to fully relax in silence, go to her garden or take a warm bath to avoid any real crisis. But that didn’t stop you from buying several Sharpies from different colors to have them around anytime she might need them. You made a habit out of walking around with them inside your pockets and Elizabeth stopped resisting using them to draw on you.

Sure, Elizabeth suggested she buy a notepad to carry with her, but you told her you didn’t mind being her personal canvas. You liked how she touched your skin gently with one hand while she used the other one to color your tattoos. You found it mesmerizing how she managed to make different details every time she drew on you. And you were just glad to be able to help her. Of course, you told Elizabeth it was okay if she preferred to have some paper to draw on, but luckily she didn’t argue against painting your arm instead.

It worked.

And that would have to do because you couldn’t take her to the hotel room you were sharing yet and it was clear that Elizabeth wasn’t feeling great.

“No,” your girlfriend said without taking the Sharpies from you. “We still have more interviews today.”

“Exactly,” you argued. “That’s fine. You know I don’t mind it.”

“People will make questions,” Elizabeth insisted, but it held no real resistance behind her words anymore. She was already taking the pens from you and you smiled happily at that.

“Let them,” was your reply.

A second later, Elizabeth took the green Sharpie to start painting one of the tattoos on the back of your arm.

When your castmates found you both, your skin was a mix of green, blue and lilac already, and Elizabeth's full attention was on the task in her hands. She didn’t look about to lose her mind anymore, her breathing was normal again, her hands weren’t shaking and her frown was purely because she was trying to keep the colors inside the line and not because she was in panic. Your friends gave you space because they didn’t want her to feel crowded again, but Holland lent you his jacket while you were all walking to the next interview to avoid questions and Elizabeth kissed your lips just before going on stage.

“You’re the best girlfriend in the world,” Elizabeth whispered against your skin.

You shrugged it off and leaned to kiss her forehead. “I love you,” you reminded her gently aware that you would climb every mountain and swim every ocean to make her happy.

[upon-a-starry-night]

Number Neighbors Pt.32

Natasha Romanoff x Fem! Reader

Natasha Masterlist Series Masterlist

Word Count: 2.3k

Summary:  When you catch sight of the newest trend going around you know you’re all but bound to at least try it, it was harmless anyway. What could possibly stem from something so little?

----

Nat tells you everything about what happened a month ago, including some details you were probably not authorized to know. She seems determined to get you to understand her no matter what and you’re endeared at how important it is to her that you know absolutely everything. 

You take note of the fact that you’re definitely past Avengers Tower and are now in what looks like rural New York. There are more trees and greenery around and you’re curious about where you’re going but you focus your attention on Natasha for now.

You listen to her story diligently and with as much empathy for both sides as you can. You can understand why none of the other Avengers wanted to be the government's lap dogs but you also understood that fear was a powerful thing. You subconsciously rub your healing scar at the thought.

When she finishes her explanation she seems to look at you expectantly, waiting for your response and you take a moment to formulate the right words in your head before speaking-

”You left me with no contact and I’m trying my best to understand your situation but it doesn’t stop the fact that I was still hurt by it” It’s a painful truth but if Nat could share her vulnerability with you than you could do the same.

”I know. I know and I’ll spend however long you need me to making up for it. I’m sorry Y/n. You have to know that it hurt me so much to hurt you.” 

“You’re already forgiven”

”That was fast” She seems surprised and even a little amused at the quickness of your forgiveness and you shrug

“If I'm honest, I forgave you the second I saw you. I missed you, Nat. I’m just glad you’re home safe” Her eyes hold a look so full of admiration that you have to force yourself to look away. If she keeps looking at you like that you’re not sure what you’ll do.

To distract yourself, you urge her to continue her story and resist the need to pull her lips to yours. You hope she doesn’t notice the way your eyes subconsciously go to her mouth when she begins talking again but your chances are slim with a super spy.

If she notices she doesn’t say anything and you have to wonder if it’s due to the presence of someone else nearby. You can’t help but be a little frustrated- would you two ever get a moment alone together? To say what you’ve been itching to say since you found her again?

Natasha tells you about being lonely and drafting argument after argument with Clint. Waiting for the right moment to come back. 

“Honestly we thought it was going to be another half a month at least but I rushed the process.” You might be hallucinating but you’re pretty sure there’s a light blush on her cheeks. “ Even if the argument wasn’t perfect there was something important I had to come home to.”

You nod in understanding, you’re sure it’s not easy being in her position “Yeah, the world needs its heroes” 

She gives you a look that seems to say ‘That’s not exactly the reason’ but you can’t think of any other reasons for her to rush something so important to them. The risk seems to have been worth the reward for her.

Seeing that you’re not understanding, she drops the look and continues with her story “Anyway, with the government facing so much heat from the public combined with our statement they had no choice but to agree or they would be out of heroes the next time aliens came knocking on Earth’s door.”

You resist the urge to first pump the air at the news. Surely that meant she would be around often right? At the very least you could visit her as a friend, even if every part of you was madly in love with her.

Much to your surprise, the car eventually pulls into a large gray and white building in the middle of nowhere surrounded by trees. The driver drops you off at a side door before pulling off to another part of the building and you stare in awe at the huge building with the Avengers ‘A’ printed on every part.

You’re admiring the sheer amount of space around the area but before you have the chance to gawk any further Nat is guiding you inside of the building to be met with glossy cement floors and very modern interior design.

“You’ll have time to look later” You can’t help but read into her words. That meant she wanted you around for longer right? Maybe this whole thing wasn’t one-sided after all.

A robotic feminine voice from above makes you jump in shock and Nat glances at you in amusement at the action.

“Miss Romanoff, welcome back. An unregistered person is accompanying you, shall I register them in the database?” Nat is seemingly unfazed by the voice of God coming from the ceiling as she speaks freely to it.

“Hey Friday, She’s my guest, feel free to register her if you’d like. I know how Tony is” She mumbles that last part but you still hear it anyway.

“Creating guest profile… Scanning… registering Y/n Y/l/n as Natasha Romanoff’s guest” You flinch when it says your name, briefly wondering how it got that information and you turn to see Nat smirking at you.

You glare at her obvious pleasure at your confusion and try to brush off how freaky a voice from the roof talking to you is.

“Sorry I’m not used to rich billionaire tech” You huff a bit childishly and Nat just shakes her head with a chuckle, placing a hand on your back and guiding you to a set of double doors. The two of you are about to enter when you hear the sound of two familiar voices. The same voices from inside your apartment.

Noticing your obvious discomfort, Nat stops and steps in front of you, her hands finding purchase on your shoulder 

“Are you okay?” Truth be told you feel a little shaken but if Nat wasn’t weary about what was behind this door then you shouldn’t be either. Worst case scenario Nat was there to protect you from whoever those men were.

You nod your head, unable to bring yourself to speak and she takes a minute to observe you and rub your shoulder in reassurance before she opens the doors.

The doors lead to a living room space with a kitchenette attached to it and sitting at the island table are two roughly familiar faces. One of them was none other than Clint Barton aka The Hawkeye, and the other was Steve’s friend Bucky. He was still pretty new to the group so you didn’t know much about him but much to your surprise the voices from your apartment were coming from them.

When Clint's eyes land on Nat he grins from his seat and pats Bucky on the back but Bucky’s eyes immediately fall on you, his face paling as he struggles to make eye contact.

Your eyes widen as you realize not only were you being stalked but you were being stalked by a trained assassin and Avenger. What possible reason could he have been following you for this whole time?

“I told you she’d recognize you” Clint has the heart to fix you with an apologetic smile as he talks to Bucky and to your credit Nat seems equally confused.

“What’s going on here, boys?” She narrows her eyes at the two of them and Clint raises his hands in surrender, not wanting to be a victim of her wrath. 

“Well I was watching over Y/n like you asked me to but imagine my surprise when I found someone else doing the same” You take a minute to register the fact that Natasha asked Clint to keep an eye on you and you struggle behind finding it endearing and being uncomfortable.

All this time you were worried about getting kidnapped, you were actually safer than you’ve ever been in your life. At least you don’t have to worry about being stalked anymore as it seems that mystery was solved. It’s a large weight off of your shoulders. You decide to count it as another positive to add to the tally for today. 

Nothing could ruin today for you and the feeling of Nat’s hand settled comfortably on your lower back only further cements that statement.

A sigh draws your attention back to the group and you along with everyone else, stare at Bucky expectantly for an explanation.

“Listen, Steve wanted me to find a way to check up on you but when I started digging the only lead I could find was Y/n” It’s weird to hear him say your name as if it’s familiar and you wonder how many other Avengers know of your existence. “I thought if I watched her long enough she would lead me to you but I wasn’t getting anywhere so when she went out of town I might’ve..broken into her apartment to look for signs”

“-and that’s where I found him when Y/n had the unfortunate timing of coming home” Clint is the only one who seems to find humor in this situation but it’s clear from the look on Bucky’s face they had been bickering about it before you came in.

“I thought she was gone!” Apparently done with pretending you’re not in the room, Bucky turns to you with an apologetic look on his face “I’m sorry” 

You’re not quite sure what to make of this situation but there’s still one question nagging at the back of your mind

“So were you guys in the SUV’s that followed me as well?” 

Shaking his head no, his eyebrows furrowed in confusion at your statement “I prefer to tail people on foot. It’s easier to blend in” His assurance only fuels the confusion in the room and everyone’s heads whip to the door before you can even sense anyone coming. Stupid super spy senses.

The door opens to reveal none other than Tony Stark sporting a guilty look on his face- well as guilty as a playboy billionaire can feel.

“That would be me.” Your eyes widen in surprise at the confession. “Really it’s shameful that neither of you noticed. I think you need more training” He makes his way to the kitchenette, opening the fridge and perusing the contents until he pulls a container of blueberries and begins snacking on them, completely unaware or just disregarding the eyes glaring at him.

“Why were you following Y/n, Stark?” Nat is the first to speak, she seems irritated at the fact that not only one, but two of her coworkers were stalking you and if you’re honest you’re a little irked that they would use you to try and get to Nat. 

He rolls his eyes, clearly exasperated that you aren’t following “Oh come on, you guys didn’t think you were the only ones who thought to check her phone records?” He shakes his head in disappointment. “Clint’s attempt at hiding your phone was commendable but I don’t need the actual phone to hack into the records” he turns to Nat once again “Your little firewall was cute though”

“You’re still on thin ice Stark”

He raises his hands in surrender and places the berries back into the fridge, talking to your group with his back turned as if he isn’t in a room full of irritated super spies and assassins. “Well imagine my surprise when I find out not only is Nat’s little ‘boytoy’ a girl, but she’s also already in my system”

“Wait wait- what do you mean?” It’s your turn to speak up and your head is spinning with all the new information you’re receiving. If you’re honest you’re still craving the nap you were robbed of earlier.

Tony seems to acknowledge you for the first time since he walked into the room, his eyes scan observantly up and down your body before he quirks a brow and you wonder if everyone feels this small in his presence “Friday runs automatic background checks on everyone who enters my elevators. Obviously”

You realize he’s talking about when you and your friend attended his part at the Tower and he gives you a tight-lipped smile when he sees you’ve caught on 

“ I was worried you were an over-obsessed fan or something but a quick little peek into your text messages told me everything I needed to know. So I had Happy tail you but Natty here was nowhere near her girlfriend. So cold of you to completely ghost her like that Nat, really?”

“Good to know everyone here respects my privacy” Nat rolls her eyes and Bucky averts his gaze from the two of you, clearly uncomfortable with the situation he got himself into. 

You can’t help but notice the fact that Nat doesn’t object to Stark calling you her girlfriend and you’re sure you must look crazy as you blush in a room full of suffocating tension. Maybe they’ll think you’re a nervous blusher.

”Yes well-” Tony gestures at himself as if to say ‘you know who you're dealing with’ “Imagine my surprise when you came back claiming you would get the government off of our asses- I thought it was because you liked us but clearly you had ulterior motives.”

Before you can question what he means, Nat huffs and turns to drag you out of the room. You’re grateful to get away from the stuffy tense environment but as you're leaving you turn back to see Tony smirking at you for some unknown reason. His eyes hold a playful but knowing mirth and you wonder if you’ll ever understand what goes on inside his head.

Pt.33

A/n: Imagine Tony Stark reading every text message you’ve ever sent. Mortifying.~ Starry

---Taglist--

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[multi-kpop-fanfics]

Good To Me

pairing: Wonwoo x fem!reader (brief mentions of bff!Seungkwan and housemate!Mingyu)

genre: fluff, smut, a teeny tiny bit of comedy

warnings: a lot of flirting, sexual tension, soft dom!Wonwoo, use of restraints (his hands duh), dirty talk, praise, oral sex (f rec), edging, unprotected sex (stay safe hoes), creampie, god-tier aftercare, domestic stuff in the end and a teeny tiny bit of jealous wonu 

Continuation of Good To Us 

word count: 5k

summary: After your mind-blowing night with Wonwoo and Mingyu, you leave your number behind, with the hopes the right man will find it.... and he does. What happens next....well, it exceeds your expectations.

Author’s note: gosh it took SO long to finish this, hope it will live up to the expectations!!

taglist: @delicatewerewolfsoul @aliceu @husbandhoshi @wonwoosthetic @wonw00t @akotaku98 @junsimpsquad @syzijee @flowerwonu​

nsfw taglist: @rosecult @bibinnieposts @ovai @littlemisssarcastic21​ @tinkerbell460 @jonghyuns-husband @romromthedeer @y00nzin0 @llsiriusminorisll @booyouwhore17​ 

© multi-kpop-fanfics, 2023. ​no reposting or translating without permission.

“No. Fucking. Way” your friend looks at you with a baffled expression. 

“Well… it happened” you shrug with a hint of a smile playing on your lips.

“Oh my God, I’m actually glad I never appeared in the bar”

“Seriously now, Kwan?” you narrow your eyes at him. 

“Girl, you got dick and you’re still salty over me?”

“Technically, it was two dicks-”

“That’s double the reason to not be salty!!” Seungkwan protests loudly, successfully attracting the attention of people sitting at nearby tables.

“Is it so hard for you to keep it down?!” you whisper-yell at your friend. 

“Oh, I’m sorry for not being used to my best friend getting dicked down by two men at the same time!” Seungkwan retorts and you grumble, sitting back in your chair, crossing your arms in front of your chest.

A moment of silence passes, until he breaks it.

“So….are you planning on seeing them again?” he takes a sip from the straw of his iced americano, 

“I don’t know, it was probably a one-time thing…” you twirl your thumbs together, trying to hide your face from your friend. 

“Mh-hm, yeah, a one-time thing…” Seungkwan nods with a sarcastic tone, the little voice in his head practically screaming “Y/N will get dick again!!”. You raise your head and glare at him, but he merely rolls his eyes at you. 

“Seungkwan…”

“Can you at least show me a picture of them? They gotta have an Instagram account or something”

“We just talked for a few minutes, we didn’t exchange socials” you huff and open your phone, in a futile attempt to check your socials, until a notification in your Instagram account catches your attention and makes your eyes widen in surprise.

jeon_ww has started following you.

“Um…. Kwan?”

“Yes, Y/N?”

“I think I can show you a picture of one of the guys” you scratch your cheek and he swiftly snatches the device out of your hand, leaving you speechless.

“What are you-”

“Shhh! I’m researching now, shut up” he stops you with his raised pointer, shamelessly scrolling through your own phone. 

“Mmhm, aha…..Yes, you’re definitely gonna see mister….Jeon Wonwoo soon” Seungkwan states as a matter of fact and smirks triumphantly.

 “Oh really? And how do you know that?” you reply with a mockery of his previous tone. “Apparently, he found the little piece of paper with YOUR NUMBER on it in his shared apartment” he gives you your phone back in the most dramatic way possible and your eyes scan the direct messages Wonwoo sent you:

jeon_ww: hey there :)

jeon_ww: um, i usually don’t do this with girls i’ve only met once

jeon_ww: but i found the piece of paper with your number on it and kept it, hoping it was meant for me

jeon_ww: sorry if i’m being intrusive, i just didn’t know if it was right to call you right off the bat yk?

Oh my God, why is he so fucking cute and considerate, what the fuck what the fuck what the fu-

“Heeey! I’m talking to you!” Seungkwan snaps his fingers in front of your face to get your attention. 

“Eh? What is it?”

“Oh my God, stop acting like a lovestruck fool in public, you’re embarrassing me” he blocks his sight with his hand.

“I’m not acting like a lovestruck fool!” you whine in protest. 

“Yeah, whatever”

“Will you just let me answer in peace? Thank you” you try to ignore him and return to your phone, typing out an answer.

check_yn: hi wonwoo :)

check_yn: um, well…that’s exactly why i left that note yk? so you could call me….

“Damn, pretty straightforward of you, Y/N” Seungkwan mutters and you shush him, your beverages long forgotten.

jeon_ww: i know, i’m sorry about that

jeon_ww: is it too late to make it up to you? 

check_yn: hmm depends on what you have in mind

jeon_ww: you. me. dinner. fancy restaurant.

jeon_ww: my treat ofc

“Wow that’s a gentleman right there” Seungkwan admits with a low whistle and you throw him a glare, making him shut up.

check_yn: tempting offer i must say

check_yn: can’t bring myself to refuse

“Just say you wanna jump his bones- okay fine I’ll shut up!”

jeon_ww: is that a yes?

check_yn: it most certainly is 

jeon_ww: perfect. how does saturday night at 8 sound?

check_yn: it sounds perfect to me!

jeon_ww: wonderful. i’ll see you then, pretty

You close your phone, looking at Seungkwan with a flushed face, a knowing smile resting on his face. 

--a few days ago--

“Gyu? Are you home?” Wonwoo closes the door behind him, looking around the house to check whether his friend is home. “Hm, that’s weird, he’s usually home that time”, he mutters to himself and shrugs right after, taking off his jacket and shoes. It doesn’t take him long to go into his room and change into comfier clothes, his round specs resting on the bridge of his nose. 

He passes by the kitchen, searching the fridge for anything interesting to bite on, when he notices a small piece of paper on the table in front of the couch, closing the fridge and making his way to the living room. He picks it up, making himself comfortable on the cushions, as he reads the content of the note, with a partially amused and partially surprised smile.

“It was lovely last night and the food was terrific, exactly what I needed to give me strength. Oh, and the dress is beautiful. You have excellent taste.

-y/n

p.s: here’s my number…just in case ;)”

“Would you look at that” Wonwoo licks the corner of his lips, a satisfied grin plastered on his face. His mind runs back to the night he spent with you and Mingyu, but a small pang of jealousy in his heart reminds him that he had to share you that night. 

And despite having a housemate for nearly a year, Wonwoo is actually terrible at sharing.

The familiar sound of the door lock clicking open alerts him and he shoves the piece of paper in the pocket of his sweats, just in time before Mingyu enters the house.

“Oh hey there, thought you’d return later” the younger man greets Wonwoo, the latter trying his best to act normal. 

“Oh, well, the shoot ended sooner than I thought so here I am!” Mingyu grins, “I didn’t bring food, though - Want me to whip up something quick?” he takes off his jacket and shoes, carefully setting his equipment down.

“Can’t refuse your cooking, you know that” Wonwoo laughs, “Didn’t really eat at work either, sooo”

“Hyung! I told you to not skip meals!” 

“You make it sound like I’m a kid or something, Gyu”

“You behave like one sometimes” the younger man sighs, making his way to the kitchen, preparing the necessary ingredients for a meal.

“Yeah, sure” Wonwoo scoffs and he turns around, carefully sliding the piece of paper out of his pocket, swiftly saving your number in his phone, before Mingyu notices.

“What’s that in your hand, hyung?”

Shit.

“What are you talking about?” Wonwoo tries to brush it off, but he fails miserably.

“I’m talking about the paper in your hand!” he points at said piece.

“O-Oh, this! It’s the phone number of a client, I didn’t have time to search them while I was at work, so I just scribbled down their name” he comes up with a quick lie, letting out a small huff when Mingyu nonchalantly replies, going back to cooking,

So fucking close, God, Wonwoo closes his eyes, trying to calm himself down. But at least now it’s certain he has your number and Mingyu will never see it. 

Now all he needs is to find your socials.

Wonwoo is waiting right outside the restaurant, digging his hands in his pockets to keep them warm - and somehow stop himself from fidgeting. He has checked the time on his watch at least twice within five minutes, wondering if you’ll actually show up and not ditch- No, there’s no way you’d do that, he thinks, trying to shake off any bad thoughts. 

It’s been a long time since he last went out on a proper date (that night doesn’t count obviously)

“Well, well...Who would have thought I'd actually see you again”, you chuckle when you meet Wonwoo's eyes. “Oh? I thought you left that little note for me?”, he raises his eyebrow playfully.

“I left it as a 'thank you' to the both of you. What would happen with my number was completely out of my hand” you feign innocence and a deep chuckle erupts from his chest. 

“Good thing I found it first then” he admits, “After you, my lady” he opens the door of the restaurant for you and you enter the restaurant, Wonwoo following suit.

“Good evening, sir, madam” the receptionist greets the both of you politely. 

“Hello, we have a reservation under the name Jeon Wonwoo. Table for two” he says. 

“I see it right...here. Follow me this way, please” the receptionist checks the book and you follow her to the neatly set table. “Enjoy your night” she says before leaving.

“This looks beautiful” you say, stunned as you unbutton your coat and Wonwoo's eyes fixate on your dress - the dress he bought you after that night.

“I knew you'd love this place. And I knew you'd look beautiful in this” he chuckles as soon as he takes a better look at you, “Here, lemme take this off for you” he comes behind you and slides the coat off your shoulders, pulling the chair behind you to sit down - such a gentleman.

“I wonder if it's the only thing you'll take off me tonight” you tease him with a sultry smile. He sits down, pulling his chair closer towards you, resting his elbows, the sleeves of his turtleneck rolled up, his forearms exposed.

“That depends, my dear Y/N”

“On what, sir Jeon?” you retort, purring the title and a chill runs down Wonwoo's spine, but he's too prideful to show he's affected by your words. Instead, he licks the corner of his lip, not breaking eye contact with you.

“On how much I'll make you laugh, sweetheart”

And he does. 

You swear you haven’t stopped laughing ever since you sat on the table, sharing story after story about the perks and perils of having a housemate like Mingyu (“If he wasn’t such a good cook, I would have kicked him out within the first three months”), or a friend like Seungkwan (“He reposted a story of mine once and wrote ‘Why am I still your friend’ with a rolling eyes emoji! My mom literally called me the next day and asked me if I fought with him, literally!”).

The hours pass in a blur - you don’t know when you left the restaurant, took a cab to your place (it was a quick decision - Wonwoo didn’t want to risk bumping into Mingyu this time) and entered your apartment.

The ride back home didn’t last long, but to the two of you, it felt excruciatingly slow. You were exchanging needy glances with Wonwoo, struggling to keep your hands to yourselves, resorting to just holding hands in the cab, trying to suppress your giggles and sneaky grins.

As soon as Wonwoo paid for the cab (yes, he insisted on doing so) and you closed the door behind you, his hands and lips were immediately on yours, almost pinning you to the heavy wooden door, letting out all the tension and need that had built up throughout the night.

Both of you haphazardly take off your shoes and coats, barely hanging them properly. 

“Bedroom?”

“Yes please?” you breathe out and he picks you up, carrying you all the way to the bedroom, mentally applauding yourself for cleaning up in the morning. 

Entering the room, you tap Wonwoo’s shoulders and he gets the message, gently putting you down on your feet, his gaze intense on you, the pads of his fingers tracing your shoulder blades and the straps of your dress. 

“Should I take this off from you, sweetheart?”, he tugs at the straps, patiently waiting for your answer. “Thought you’d never ask”, you grin and Wonwoo grins back, effortlessly spinning you around, his hands carefully pulling down the zipper and exposing your naked back. You sigh in content once you feel his lips pepper kisses along your shoulders and your spine, biting down on your bottom lip to not let any sound slip away.

“You don’t have to be shy with me, y’know”, he whispers in your ear, hands tracing mindless shapes on your navel, goosebumps erupting all over your skin. “You’re making it hard, y’know”, you turn around to face him, a wave of embarrassment washing over you as you realize you’re nearly naked, all while Wonwoo was fully dressed. “Really? Wanna tell me why?”, he runs his fingers from your waist, all the way up to your neck, fighting the urge to touch your chest without your permission. 

"First of all, you're fully dressed and I'm nearly naked", you state and put your hands on his covered chest, "I think we should change that". "I couldn't agree more, sweetheart, this turtleneck has never felt more suffocating before", he huffs and you're impatiently unbuckling his belt, your fingers tugging at the soft material, his own hands helping to take it off completely. 

"I know this isn't the first time I see your chest, but fuck, you're so sexy", you half moan and start pushing Wonwoo towards the bed, making him fall on the mattress softly, wasting zero time to climb in his lap and let your hands wander over his toned pecs. "Why, thank you, sweethe- oh fuck", he groans mid-sentence as he feels your tongue flatten out on his neck, licking his skin from his collarbones up to his jawline, your lips occasionally sucking on the soft flesh.

“God, aren’t you a hungry one” he hisses when you graze your teeth over his jugular, your fingers dancing over his nipples, hoping you’d take control this time, “You’re wandering on dangerous territory, baby” he lowers his tone in an attempt to put you in your place. 

“You’re right in my hands and you think I won’t grasp the chance to explore your body? Don’t be ridiculous” you chuckle but it is short-lived, as Wonwoo grips your wrists and turns you both around, your back touching the mattress within milliseconds. 

“You had your fun, baby” he traps your hands above your head, “Now it’s my turn”, he leans down and starts kissing down your neck, one hand holding your wrists in place, the other trailing from your tummy to cup your breast. 

“So fucking pretty” he breathes on your skin, his tongue darting out to lick your nipple, his lips wrapping around your bud to suck it. 

“Oh shit…”, you whine, arching your back off the bed, “Fuck, this feels so good” your eyes flutter dangerously, as Wonwoo rolls your other nipple between his fingers, just enough to inflict a barely painful, but quite pleasurable sting.

“Baby, I’m barely doing anything and you’re already so needy?” he chuckles on your skin.

“N-Not my fault your mouth feels so good” you half moan, “Can’t even think about how good you’d be at oral” and Wonwoo stops all movements at once. 

“Is that so, darling?” he looks you right in the eye, letting your wrists go, “And here I thought you had a vivid imagination”, he tuts in disapproval. 

“I was thinking about letting you show me?” you playfully ask and a cheshire cat smirk plays on his lips, wordlessly threading his fingers on your panties and sliding them down your legs.

“I’ll let you off the hook this time, since you’re being so nice tonight” Wonwoo smooths his palms over the back of your thighs, pushing them apart to reveal your quite soaked core, a barely audible groan rumbling through his chest.

“I will fucking devour you”  he dives his head between your legs, throwing them over his shoulders as he slides his tongue between your folds, all the way from your entrance to your clit, paying extra attention to it by teasing it with the tip of his tongue, sucking it playfully with his lips afterwards.

“Pull my hair if you want to, love”

“Are you trying to tell me you won’t go easy on me?”

“I think I was clear enough when I said I’ll fucking devour you” Wonwoo chuckles, resuming his ritual on your pussy, a bit more eager than before, judging from the way you’re moaning and arching your back off the mattress. His hands are caressing your skin, making their way towards your chest, a whine escaping your mouth when they reach your breasts, his fingers toying with your nipples.

“W-Wonu, shit…” you mewl his name, your hand creeping onto the base of his hair, starting to tug at the soft locks when your lover dips his tongue in your entrance, fucking it greedily as his hands squeeze your tits, the bridge of his nose gliding against your clit. 

“Do you want me to make you cum, love?” Wonwoo purrs against your pussy, hands reaching down to hold your waist. You look down between your legs, your pussy gushing when you see his messed up hair, lips, nose and chin covered in your slick.

“Please, Wonwoo, please!” you beg him, hips almost bucking in his face, but he pins you down, lifting himself and wiping his face with his forearm.

“I will. But I’d rather do it with my cock” he grins, discarding his pants and boxers, cock painfully hard and heavy in his hand.

“Then do it already!” you whine, almost thrashing on the bed.

“Condom?”

“Fuck me raw, Woo, I’m clean”

“As you wish, love” he bends down, softly kissing you before aligning his tip with your entrance, slowly pushing in, without wanting to hurt you. 

The stretch isn’t unfamiliar, but there is an initial sting - your pussy feels so full, full of Wonwoo’s cock, your mind spinning from arousal. He knows it’s a bit uncomfortable, but he gives you the time you need to accommodate to his size - all while trying to distract you with kisses all over your neck and jaw, his hands holding your waist and back tenderly.

“When you’re ready to move, tell me” Wonwoo whispers in your ear.

“Please move, Wonu, I need you to move” you plead and he nods, raking his hands on yours, keeping them trapped beside your head, swiftly rolling his hips between your legs. The first few thrusts have that dull sting, but that sting molds into mind numbing pleasure, your walls stretched out and hugging his shaft perfectly.

“God, you feel so perfect around me, fuck” Wonwoo moans in your ear, his thrusts unfaltering and powerful, his toned body pressed against yours, feeling every single curve of his chiseled torso on you.

“You’re so damn good at t-this, fucking me so well” you mirror his moans, fingers threading with his, nails starting to dig on the skin of his hands.

“If you keep gripping me like that, I won’t last long, Y/N” 

“Who says that’s a problem?”

“Do you want me to embarrass myself with just one round or you’re craving my cum that much?” he raises his brow teasingly, jutting his hips a bit more forcefully this time, eliciting a louder moan from you, effectively hitting that sweet spot inside you.

“You caught me - I want you to fill me up to the brim, baby” you wrap your legs around his waist, pulling him even closer to you.

“Your wish is my command, sweetheart” Wonwoo smirks and straightens up, letting your hands and gripping your waist, kneeling on the mattress to lift your hips, just enough to hit deeper than before. He pulls out until it’s just the tip is in you and plows back in your cunt, using the grip on your waist as leverage to fuck you harder.

The way he’s fucking you now reminds you of how he fucked you that night with Mingyu - but it’s way more intimate now, it’s only him now.

You’re about to open your mouth, but everything goes blank, your body starts convulsing, pussy clenching violently around Wonwoo’s cock, squeezing him tight and cumming hard around him.

“Oh fuck, f-fuck!” he keels over you, fisting the pillow behind your head as he delivers a few strong thrusts, cumming a few seconds later, filling you up with his warm cum to the brim. 

You’re still shaking underneath him, your hands gripping his back, raking your nails on him while trying your best to calm down from your intense orgasm. Wonwoo is kissing your cheeks to help you relax, remaining inside you until he’s soft enough to slip out of you. 

“I’ll be back in a few, love, don’t move, I’ll clean you up, I promise” he mutters in your ear, petting your hair and you nod, letting him get up.

He returns to the room a few minutes later, with a glass full of water and a towel.

“Here, drink this” he hands you the glass and you down it in one go, almost dropping it with a yelp when you feel the warm towel swipe away the remnants of your orgasm and Wonwoo’s cum dripping from your hole.

“Hey, give me a warning before doing stuff!” you slap his shoulder, “You’re so lucky I drank all of the water”

“Or else?”

“Or else I would have splashed it on you” you grumble. 

“Ooh, so scary” he mocks you with a giggle and he laughs even harder when you cross your arms in front of your chest, a pout resting on your lips. 

“Will you let me clean you up properly now?” he asks with a sweet tone and you relax your body, letting him do as he said. 

“You’re being way too good to me” you speak up, wincing ever so slightly when the towel touches the more sensitive parts of your body. 

“Why wouldn’t I be good to you?” Wonwoo raises his brow in question.

“I don’t know, it’s not like everyone does the whole aftercare thing when sex ends” you state, scratching your cheek.

“Well, I’m not like everyone else, sweetheart” he replies with a serious tone.

“So you do this to every single woman you sleep with?” you try to tease him, but he’s having none of it. 

“I used to. But I haven’t done it in a long time - Not because I lost my decency, though”

“Then why did you stop?” you ask him as he finishes up with cleaning your body. 

“Because it’s been a long time since I last slept with someone” he admits, looking you straight in the eye. 

“Oh” you simply reply, “Well, I….I didn’t see that coming” you drop the teasing tone and opt to curl your arms around your knees out of embarrassment. 

“Hey, hey” Wonwoo gently stretches your legs again, “It’s okay, you didn’t make me uncomfortable or anything” he rubs your skin soothingly, laying next to you.

 “Um, well, if you say so” you lay your head on his chest, his arms wrapping around your torso.

A beat of silence passes.

“Hey, Wonwoo?”

“Yes, sweetheart?”

“Are you awake?”

“Since I’m replying to you, I think I am” he chuckles and you roll your eyes at his reaction, “I suppose you wanna talk?” he asks you this time. 

“Do you mind?” you shift in his arms, your hand mindlessly caressing Wonwoo’s arm and he turns his head towards you, smiling softly. 

“We were talking all night long, why would I want to stop now?”

“Okay then” you exhale and Wonwoo lets out a breathy laugh. 

“Why are you laughing?!”

“It’s really funny and baffling at the same time”

“What exactly?”

“You’re so shy right now, despite being so talkative and cheeky all night….It’s kinda cute”

“S-Shut up…”

“Oh? But I thought you wanted me to talk to you?” he cheekily retorts and you whine, hiding your face behind your hands. 

He then shifts under the sheets, his hands gently grasping your wrists and pulling them away, revealing your face again. “Hey there”, he smiles at you and you snort, letting out a very awkward yet loud laugh you were holding back the past minutes. “There you go”, Wonwoo states in a very loving manner and you suddenly stop, cheeks heating up when your eyes stare directly into his, realizing the amount of intimacy this moment holds.

“Is it a really bad moment to say that I like that side of yours better?” you mutter under your breath. 

“What do you mean?” Wonwoo looks at you with a bewildered expression, “I’m genuinely curious”

“Last time we met, you were more…. how do I put this…”

“Rough?” you search for the right words, but he completes the sentence for you instead. 

“Well….yeah, pretty much. Not that I didn’t like it or something - on the contrary,  I absolutely loved it and you were hot as fuck when you did that thing to Mingyu-”

“Y/N, you’re rambling again”

“Oh” you realize and stop, metally cursing at yourself for getting carried away. Again.

“It’s okay though. And I get what you mean” Wonwoo supports his body on his forearms, trying not to press his entire weight on you, “Let’s say it’s my way of….asserting dominance” he admits.

“I see….So you wanted to put your friend in his place and show him who’s the boss?” you rest your arms on his shoulders, a teasing lilt in your voice. 

“Exactly. Aren’t you a smart one, huh?” a smug smirk resting on his handsome face. 

“Do I sense a jealous streak here, mister Jeon?”

“Honey, let’s be real here - as much as I love my best friend, he wouldn’t be able to give you what you really want” he lowers his head towards your lips, merely a breath away from yours. Your heart is racing like an F1 car approaching the finishing line, ready to take the first place - but the car is your lips and Wonwoo’s are the prize.

Except he crooks his neck to the side and he kisses the corner of your lips, shifting to his side and wrapping his arm around your midriff, pulling you flush to his chest.

“Go to sleep, baby”.

You sleepily stretch your arm on the mattress, hoping it would fall on Wonwoo’s body, but it ends up falling flat on the side that was supposed to be filled with said man, only to find it completely empty. You swish your hand around for a second and turn your body around to confirm with your own eyes that Wonwoo is indeed gone.

Shouldn’t have gotten my hopes up, you think and sigh in disappointment and get out of the bed, searching in your closet for something comfy to wear, settling with your favorite blue hoodie, not bothering to wear pants underneath - since you’re home alone.

Except you never saw Wonwoo’s turtleneck hanging on the edge of the bed and you’re caught by surprise when you walk into the kitchen and see the man himself brewing morning coffee, with two mugs resting on the counter. And he’s shirtless. With lots of scratch marks on his back. And you’re standing like a deer caught in headlights because five seconds ago you were mentally calling him an asshole for leaving your bed and supposedly your house-

“How long have you been standing there?” Wonwoo asks you with his back still facing you and your trail of thoughts is cut short. 

“How did you know I was here?” you ask back and make your way to the counter, sitting down with a low hiss. 

“I could smell your perfume - it’s hard to miss it, you know” he turns around and briefly looks at your (incomplete attire) before passing you the mug. 

“Did you just...check me out?” you narrow your eyes at him with a small smirk.

“As if your eyes weren’t glued on my back when you walked into the kitchen” Wonwoo retorts and the tips of your ears turn red. 

“I’m sorry for not expecting you to be here!”

“Why wouldn’t I be here?” he raises his eyebrow and you take a sip of the coffee, trying to think of a good answer.

“Y/N, I’m not the type of guy who fucks and disappears the morning after” he adds before you’re about to reply. 

“I know, you said that last night too” you remind him and he drinks a bit of his coffee, a small smile playing on his lips. 

“I’m surprised you do”

“I’m a very attentive listener, Wonwoo”

“I’m not doubting your hearing skills, sweetheart”

“Then what?”

“I’m surprised you’re able to remember anything after how loud you were last night” he chuckles and you swat your bare leg at his thigh.

“Now you sound like Mingyu” you roll your eyes and Wonwoo grabs your leg, bringing you closer to him and he lifts you from your chair, placing you to his lap.

“Tell me, Y/N - was it Mingyu who made you laugh so much last night?” he asks with a raised eyebrow. 

“Hmm, let me think...Nope” you tease him and he smirks, leaning under your jaw, lips barely ghosting your skin. 

“Was it Mingyu who made you moan until you couldn’t think straight?” he rubs your thighs.

“Wonwoo...” you breathe out and let out an airy moan when you feel him suck that sensitive spot on your neck.

“I’m still waiting for an answer, sweetheart~”

“Shut up, it was all you” you whine in his lap and he laughs

“You’re so damn cute, Y/N” he presses a soft kiss on your cheek and you wrap your hands around his torso, pressing your palms on his back and he groans lightly. 

“Careful, sweetheart, they’re still fresh” 

“Sorry” you mutter with an embarrassed smile. 

“Don’t be”

“But-” he shuts you up with a kiss and you can feel him smiling.

“Drink your coffee, it’ll go cold.”

[sam24]

Minivans And Pawnshops

Summary: You were out on a mission for a week, and when Tony, your self-appointed overprotective bodyguard, notices your Greek god of a boyfriend acting weird, he makes it his personal duty to figure out why. By asking Steve what was going on? Hell no. By slipping a Stark Tracker on him and shoving 11 people into an 8-seater Honda Odyssey to follow him.

Pairing: Steve Rogers x fem!reader

*****

“Take a left.” Friday’s monotone voice rang out.

“Take a left here, Happy,” Tony instructed, looking up from the Stark Map on his phone.

Happy rolled his eyes, mumbling something along the lines of I know, the robot already told me.

“This isn’t necessary, Tony,” You repeated for about the hundredth time. “Steve is not cheating on me.”

“My evidence says otherwise,” Tony urged Happy to drive faster, earning a grumble from the latter. “He’s acting very suspicious, always going out and coming back late every time.”

“Actually, I can vouch for Tony on that one,” Clint adds from his squished place in the last row of the mini-van, practically sitting in an annoyed Natasha’s lap. “He’s been acting pretty weird.”

“Doesn’t automatically mean that he’s cheating,” You defended. “He probably has other reasons.”

“Fine. Cheating or fight club. Which would you prefer?” Tony cocked his head at you, and you shoved it back.

“If he is bedding another woman, I will make sure he cannot bed any woman ever again!” Thor declared loudly into your ear, Wanda also wincing on the other side of him.

“You mean cut his dick off?” Sam piped in from the back, who was purposefully shoving into Bucky with every turn the car made.

“Um, indeed. I think so,” Thor shrugged. “I am not sure what I meant either.”

“Uh Mister Stark?” Peter turns around from the passenger seat that he was sharing with a very uncomfortable Bruce. “Did you really have to bring all of us? I have a lot of math homework to finish.”

Tony waved him off. “I have like 30 assistants back at the tower, kid. Someone will do it for you. Plus, all of us have to catch Rogers in the act and publicly shame him.”

You turned back to Tony, remembering what you both were initially arguing about after the ringing in your ear settled down. “You didn’t have to sneak a damn tracking device on him! You could have just asked what he was doing like a normal person.”

“Fuck being normal. At least be grateful that I waited for you until you came back from your mission to catch him red handed.” Tony smirked. “Or should I say cum handed.”

Everyone gagged.

“Actually, I don’t think that’s how it works,” Vision frowned, basically underneath Wanda. “The semen technically would not be in the Captain’s hand, unless-”

“Vis, honey.” Wanda just shook her head.

“Plus, I already asked Cyborg over here.” Tony pointed to the back at Bucky, who was still glaring at Sam. “He went uhh, I don’t know and ran away,” Tony said in his best dumb jock voice.

“Nothing is going on, Tony.” Bucky narrowed his eyes. “Just turn the car around.”

“I agree with Barnes.” Natasha kicked Tony’s seat from the third row. “Turn around, Happy.”

Bucky looked past Sam and Clint, who were hitting each other’s knees with their own. “Steve told you too?” He asked in Russian with a raised eyebrow.

Natasha shook her head with a smirk. “No. I’m just smart like that.”

“Too late, buddy,” Tony ignored their secret conversation, flashing a fake smile over his shoulder. “Like the great John B once said, ‘We didn’t come this far to get this far’.”

Peter whipped around once again, his eyes lighting up at the quote. “Mister Stark, I’m really glad that you’re watching my TV show recommendations, but I’m pretty sure someone else said it before he did-”

“Happy, take another left here.” Tony called out, mimicking the AI who just said it seconds before.

You rolled your eyes, the red dot in the center of Brooklyn on the phone screen catching your attention. You had no reason to doubt Steve’s loyalty toward your relationship. He loved you and you loved him and you knew that he would never do anything to hurt you. But, you were curious as to why Steve was apparently acting weird while you were gone, and what the hell he was doing in Brooklyn.

“Trust me, Tone. He’s not cheating. I’ll just ask him when he comes back, it’s probably just some stuff he has to take care of.”

“C’mon guys,” Bucky pressed. “Let’s turn around. I need to pee or something.”

“Hm, sounds like you're in denial.” Tony said to you, ignoring Bucky once again. “Don’t worry, the next step will be coming soon. Anger,” Tony announced with a grin like it was some kind of flashy news headline.

“Tony, why the hell does it sound like you want my boyfriend to be cheating on me.”

“Aw come on, it’s not like that,” Tony gestured at Happy to take a right. “I’m just looking out for you.”

You rolled your eyes once again, rubbing your wrist, remembering the death grip Tony had on you earlier as he dragged you into the light blue Honda Odyssey packed tight of Avengers in the back of his garage. He was saving it for his future family, he had claimed when you asked why Tony Stark of all people owned a minivan.

“Stop!” Tony yelled, and Happy quickly stepped on the brake, sending everyone flying forward. You heard Bruce and Peter groaning in the front. “This is it. The big reveal,” he announced.

You immediately scooted ever closer to Tony as he pressed his forehead to the window.

“He’s having an affair with . . .” Tony paused with a frown, his sunglasses sliding down the slope of his nose. “The owner of Vintage Pawn Shop?”

Pawn shop? Didn't Steve say something about a pawn shop a while back?

Identical confused eyebrow furrows made their way onto everyone’s faces, except Bucky’s and Natasha’s, as you spotted your unmistakable 6 foot 2 super soldier through the glass littered with fingerprints.

He was describing something to the old lady working in the store, looking hopeful and tired, like he had been searching for it for days. She nodded and raised her finger in a one minute, honey type of way and started rummaging through some things behind the counter. She pulled out a small box from somewhere, opening it and gently placing it in front of Steve.

You squinted your eyes, accidentally shoving Tony’s head into the window of the car as you craned your neck closer, trying to read the woman’s lips.

She said something along the lines of This might be what you’re looking for, sweetie, and Steve’s eyes lit up, a clear wave of nostalgia crashing over him. With gentle calloused fingers, he lifted a ring out of the box, admiring it with a soft smile.

“Friday,” Tony called out, face still squished between you and the car window. “Connect to the store’s CCTV.”

Before you could ask since when the hell Friday could do that, the Stark Map with a You have arrived at your destination adorned on its screen quickly was replaced with the live footage from the store’s cameras.

“Did this belong to someone that you knew, honey?” The old woman’s kind voice grainily made its way through the speaker of Tony’s phone as she noticed Steve’s eyes glistening with tears.

Everyone tried to move closer to the phone for Steve’s reply in the overcrowded car. “Ow!” You heard Clint yell, probably at Sam. “That was my foot, dumbass!” He was immediately shushed.

“Yeah.” Steve nodded, still smiling at the ring. “My ma’s.”

Multiple gasps were heard throughout the car, Happy’s being the loudest.

A weeks old, sleepy memory that was buried deep into your brain immediately flooded back.

You and Steve were wrapped around each other, your ear pressed to his heart, slowly lulling you to sleep with a familiar beat.

“Y’know, you remind me of my ma.” Steve randomly declared against your hair, and you peered up at him to meet the soft currents in his eyes. “Beautiful. Kind. Doesn’t take shit from anyone.”

He pressed a kiss to your lips as you smiled, cupping your face to pull back and look at you. He stared lovingly at you for a while, settling into a comfortable silence.

“Everything okay?” You turned your head to kiss his palm. The last time he had looked at you for this long without talking, it was right before he burst into tears after you had almost died on a mission.

“Yeah, sweetheart. Just thinking.” He pulled you back into his chest, placing another kiss on your forehead. “She would’ve loved you.”

After a little bit of silence, he spoke again. “Her ring was beautiful.”

“Oh?” You hummed.

“Yeah.” He nuzzled his nose into your cheek, a slight Brooklyn accent slipping through as he talked slowly, his words laced with sleep. “Don’t know where it is, but I wanna find it for you. I’ll look through every pawn shop in the state. And when I find it I’ll propose when the time’s right under the stars and you’ll say yes because you’re just like my ma, and Ma loved me more than anything in the world.”

If Steve had brought up the topic of marrying you during the day when you were wide-awake, you probably would have had a stroke of happiness.

But right now, it was night.

It was night and you were half-asleep, wrapped up in Steve’s warm arms, feeling more at peace there than you ever had anywhere else.

Nothing but peace.

So you just drowsily grinned into his bare chest, your hand snaking up to rest on his cheek. “She loved you more than anything in the world, huh?” You repeated. “Well then I guess your Ma and I are pretty similar.”

You looked up from the screen and back at the window, staring at the ring in Steve’s hand with wide eyes. The sunlight bounced off of it and the jewel sparkled in the light with an elegant touch. Steve was right- it was absolutely gorgeous.

A smile crept onto your face, matching the one on Steve’s.

“Why the hell are you smiling?” Tony’s voice interrupted your daze. “He’s gonna propose to the side chick!”

[secretwhumplair]

Solstice, p.1

1,494 words | No Warrior (sequel to Solstice, p.0)

Content | Idk what to put. Dealing with past trauma, perceived betrayal?

Notes | Well that went well! Until it didn't.

Excited to get back to this story and give it its long-awaited finish! We're not there yet. But I am full of optimism.

Taglist | @just-a-whumping-racoon-with-wifi​​ @castielamigos-whump-side-blog​​ @whump-me-all-night-long​​​​ @whumpadump1939​​ @thingsthatgo-whump-inthenight​​

@whumpzone​​ @angel-stars @kixngiggles​ @whumpsy-daisies​​ @briars7

@yet-another-heathen​​ @rosesareviolentlyread @cupcakes-and-pain @hollowtreesinhollowwoods​​​​ @much-ado-about-whumping​​

@nine-tailed-whump​​ @whump-em​​​ @itsleighlove​​ @newbornwhumperfly​​​ @tears-and-lilies

@deluxewhump @whump-cravings @wolfeyedwitch @melancholy-in-the-morning @neverthelass

@whumpsday @silent-orchid-lady

Runar felt bad for not offering Yves the option to stay at home with him. But it was the solstice festival, and—no matter how callous and selfish it felt in the moment—he couldn’t put every part of his life on hold for him.

It was, therefore, doubly relieving that Yves seemed to be okay. He kept close to Runar’s side as they made their way to the hilltop where wood had been stacked up twice as tall as Runar was, the yet unlit pile silhouetted against the dusky sky, but that might have been due to how narrow the paths through the snow were—more had fallen just this morning.

It was about time for winter to begin its slow retreat, and Yves seemed to welcome it as much as anyone. There was a shadow of a smile on his face, even.

Runar was irrationally proud of how brave he was being. »I’ll go say hi to my family, and then we can check out the food, yes?«

Yves nodded timidly. They hadn’t had lunch yet; after all, the potluck feast would begin as soon as the bonfire was lit once dark had fallen, which would be soon, and last as long as anyone could still eat. Runar had offered Yves to snack with him, of course, knowing how starved he had been when he first found him, and not wanting to stir up dark memories. But Yves, after hearing his explanation, had declined, had wanted to wait for the feast with him. That, too, Runar was proud of for him.

They trudged their way up the hill, and Runar could feel his mood rise along with their path.

It was going to be good.

* The stars were coming out, and Yves felt nervous to the bone.

Nervous enough to trail closely after Runar, no matter how pathetic it felt, no matter how much it stirred the bitter, helpless anger seething inside him all the time now. It ebbed and flowed—his sword practice, as silly as it was, seemed to help, but then there were moments like this, when his anxiety peaked for no real reason and there was nothing he could do, and it felt so deeply unfair. He wasn’t even properly scared—he knew nothing bad would happen to him, and somehow that made it worse. If his nerves could at least save themselves for actual threats—they should have enough experience with them to know the difference.

Still, Runar’s company comforted him, and the joy he and his family shared rubbed off. When Ingunn smiled at him, he found it easy to smile back.

»Yves! Glad you came too, it’s a big day!«

»Yes… I’m glad too.« And it was true. The air was filled with cheer and excited chattering, even among the cloudy wisps spewed forth by every breath. Soon, the warmth would come—first from the fire, and then, eventually, from the sun.

It was an important event.

Watching the crowd made him feel better as they gathered around long tables set up around the fire, some already taking their seats, but most standing and occupied in various tasks, or simply commenting on the stake and the food the tables were laden with, even as families were still carrying up more filled pots and plates.

No one would go hungry tonight, that much was certain.

Even actually spotting Brandr, who stood with two other warriors near the stake and seemed to be engrossed in discussing the quality of the wood or some such thing by the way he gestured aggressively at one log or another, couldn’t fully dispel the warmth of the occasion.

If Brandr confronted him again, this time, Yves would stand his ground. Or so he told himself, even as his heart beat faster at the thought.

He balled a gloved hand. No, he would. He wouldn’t let anyone take this from him, not when Runar’s family was so welcoming. They wanted him to enjoy the night, and he did too.

Dusk crept by slowly, the rising darkness dispelled only by their cheerful voices, but they became quieter and quieter, until darkness and silence were complete.

That was when the eldest lit a torch, its brightness momentarily burning in Yves’ eyes. Everyone watched, rapt, as she approached the wood and with one decisive strike pushed the torch into it.

The center, carefully constructed from dried leaves and twigs, caught fire at once, and cheers erupted from the crowd. Runar joined in, and Yves, too, though his voice was still drowned out.

The flames licked at the larger wood pieces, climbing up and up, until the bonfire reached high into the night sky. The light and the warmth lifted Yves’ heart. Maybe it was all going to be alright. Maybe the darkest days were truly gone now.

Once the cheering was done, the feasting began. After that, it wasn’t long before musicians picked up their instruments, and many voices joined in songs that must be long familiar to the community. Even Yves had heard some of them before by now, though his voice stayed quieter than the rest. Soon people were dancing, and Runar, after checking in with Yves once more, like he always did, like he never abandoned him without notice, jumped into it too.

Yves was undecided, and even that seemed big. He hadn’t danced in—a long time. It seemed fun. He didn’t know the local dances yet, though, and in truth, he felt a little out of place. So he simply sat and watched.

After a while, Signy fell into the now vacated stool opposite Yves, laughing, one of her spouses on each arm. Her wife let go of her and chattered something about getting some of the fish that was being roasted over the other side of the bonfire before she disappeared. Signy noticed Yves sitting opposite her, and gave him a wide grin. Her face was heated, not just from dancing, but her demeanour was, if anything, more jolly than usual. »Yves! How’re you holding up? Having a good time?«

Yves nodded, smiling without effort. He was having a good time. He was having something close to fun, just like he had wanted. He was still a little nervous, yes, but the all-around cheer of the event was rubbing off on him, and he wasn’t feeling unsafe.

»That’s good! That’s good.« Signy’s grin turned into a warmer, deeper smile for a moment, then she focused on her husband again, so intensely Yves looked away, heat creeping into his own face.

Signy’s wife returned to release him from the awkwardness of the moment—or make it worse, who knew—carrying a plate of freshly grilled fish, which she sat down before Signy, in the middle of the three of them.

»Thanks, s͏w̧e҉e͟t̸ḩe̵àr̀t͢« Signy said and kissed her wife’s mouth. When, turning back to the table, she noticed Yves staring at her, she just gave an enthusiastic little wave with her knife before she tucked into the fish.

Yves, though, sat frozen with realization, unable to avert his eyes from her and her—her wife. Her lover.

Her sweetheart.

Each breath caught in his throat. Was that how Runar saw him—what he expected of him?

Since when had he been calling Yves that? He couldn’t be sure, not with the way his mind raced, but it seemed to him it had been since ever. Since the very start?

Was that the reason he had rescued Yves?

Had all his kindness been a ploy to get Yves to-? The thought was terrifying. But why bother? He could easily overpower Yves.

What did he really want? And why hadn’t he been honest about it?

Yves’ head was reeling, and he dug his nails into the stool he was sitting on, desperate to find a grasp on reality.

»Yves?« Runar.

Yves couldn’t answer, or even look at him. He just stared down at the plate in front of him, trying to figure out what this was, even what feeling it was that was rushing through his heart, fear with flashes of fury.

»Are you okay?«

»No.« The word plopped out of his mouth before he could stop himself, and a spike of panic shot through him. He pushed himself up forcefully, still without looking at Runar. »I’m. Going home.«

»Yves… ?« But Runar didn’t move to stop him, and a word was not enough to, not anymore. There was a bitter triumph in it.

As he walked off into the night, he could hear Runar ask Signy and her companions what had happened, heard Signy’s full-mouthed, »No idea.«

It angered him more. How could they be so oblivious?

It was unfair—how would they know?—but everything was unfair, anyway; why should it only be unfair to him? The darkness swallowed him, the light of the bonfire only faint reflections on the snow as he escaped.

Home, he had said, and he almost regretted it.

[etherealising]

hey vee! omg i’m so glad you extended your celebration. i’ve been drowning in schoolwork and kinda losing my mind but i totally wanna participate at least once!

ik we’re team barmy in this house but i’m curious to see a drabble on what this day was like from camry’s perspective.

that day baby came to work and he was on a date with claire. how did he bring himself to even go especially after their previous night together. (ik this may be a lil agnsty, i’ve been loving that kind of stuff lately) 💞💞

stawph!!! this request excites me every time i read it and idk why lol. i love writing pre-aiekoy barby it's so much fun to just invent a bunch of lore!!

thank you so much for requesting!!! i see you in my inbox bestie and i promise i’ll get back to you love!! also your constant support really is one of the reasons i keep posting so thank you so much for indulging me 🫶🏽

After baby leaves the berzatto household carmy literally has zero clue what to do with himself, like man is just staring at his bedroom door 30 minutes later trying to figure out if what just happened was real or just his imagination.

He definitely brushes his fingers across his lips a couple of times, tingles racing through his body every time he thinks about your lips on his.

Carmy goes to sleep happy that night his mind full of visions of you as he finally lays his head to rest.

Sunday rolls around and he’s feeling a bit anxious that neither of you have seen or spoken to each other since that night.

Carmy is freaking out like it genuinely hasn’t even been a full 24 hrs since the moment the two of you shared and he’s sure he scared you off. Maybe you just kissed him back because you felt sorry for him man is running through all the worst scenarios in his head.

He’s definitely picked up the phone to call you and typed out messages but was too scared to do either one in fear of rejection or worse in fear of ruining your already rocky friendship.

At some point, he just relegates himself to finishing some English final essay to keep his mind off of you (it obviously doesn’t work).

It’s getting later as the day passes by and Carmy’s just staring at the few words in the notebook and the eraser marks decorating the page.

The sound of his phone vibrating against the table pulls him from his thoughts and that boy is racing from his seat to answer it, no hesitation no checking the caller ID nothing.

He answers breathlessly and calls your name with a smile on his face because who else would be calling him?

The devastation radiates off of him as Claire’s voice rings into his ears. He gives her an uninterested “Oh, hi.” Mans is not happy at all but he was raised right so he indulges her.

Carmy zones out as soon as he realizes it’s not you, moving through the living room to peek through the curtains at your house, your car is still in the driveway so you must be home, maybe he can go see you after this phone call.

Claire’s voice drifts through his ears asking where he’s at and homeboy is confused most of his focus going to how he’s gonna get his girl who isn’t yet his girl.

And then he remembers before his moment with you, before he knew what it felt like to feel the soft caress of your lips, the weight of your body in his lap. Claire asked him to lunch and he said yes!

He stumbles over his words, he can easily tell Claire that he’s not interested, that there’s someone else. But only an asshole would do something like that over the phone. So with one last look at your car, he decides he’ll meet up with Claire, let her down easy, and then you and him can figure out what this is between the two of you.

Carmy uses the back entrance not wanting to engage with any of the many people crowded in line at the front of the shop, easily finding Claire alone at a table a sigh of relief escaping him that she hadn’t chosen yours and his special table.

It’s awkward for the first few minutes after he sits down. He promised himself he’d start by admitting to Claire that he thought she was nice and pretty even, but that he realized he was in love with someone else.

Claire breaks the ice before he can even get his little speech out, maybe he’ll wait till the end of this little hangout maybe that would save the awkwardness of having to eat with someone you admitted you didn’t have feelings for.

Somehow the two of them go from awkward conversation to joking around about the previous night at prom.

Carmy’s back is to the entrance so he doesn’t take notice of your presence but he watches as Claire’s eyes drift from his face her eyes lighting up hand waving with gusto as she says your name.

Carmy doesn’t even need to turn around to see you, a heavy weight growing at the bottom of his stomach, but he does anyway and the way you avoid his eyes is enough proof that this whole situation upset you.

He doesn’t even give Claire a second thought before he’s out of his seat trying to find you, the muffled cries leaving the walk-in lead him straight to you, and he can’t help the annoyance that builds up in him at hearing Mikey’s voice.

His older brother, always there to save the fucking day. He stays a bit longer just listening to you sob and he knows he was the cause of your anguish.

Carm returns to Claire and apologizes for leaving and he doesn’t explain anything but he can see the sadness in her eyes as a silent conversation passes between the two of them her eyes watering with her hurt and realization.

Claire was kind enough to offer him a ride home, but Carmy decided to walk home, he didn’t know how he could live with the weight of making two girls cry in one day.

On the tedious walk home, Carmy comes to the decision that it’s best if he just lets you believe what you want. You’ll be gone soon and there’s no point in clearing anything up, no point in putting his feelings about you into words if the two of you will be apart soon.

So he self-sabotages allows you to think he’s the bad guy (i mean he kinda is lol) doesn’t clear up what you think you saw, and doesn’t address the kiss and intimate moment he initiated.

And as the days tick down to your departure he watches you grow closer to Hayden, ignoring Claire’s questioning looks as she tries to understand why you and Carmy aren’t together yet.

The time comes for your departure and he’s built up some false confidence about telling you the truth about everything but he chokes. Wishes you luck in college and mutters promises about keeping in touch, promises he knows are a lie as soon as he speaks them because he doesn’t think he could pretend to be happy for you knowing his own happiness lies with you.

a/n: gosh do i love making these two suffer, there’s some tidbits in here that i might expand on in a carmy interlude i have planned but only time will tell. enjoy!

[cmdrfupa]

Chihiro

2nd installment of Upheaval.

cw: all chapters and content warnings are listed in this post but this chapter contains smut near the end. Grandma's first nastee writing in a decade heh.

an: firstly, thank you for being so nice to me 😭 I expect nothing but you all seem to find a way to make me feel like I’m good at this and I appreciate it more than you know. I tried not to make this a yep fest and therefore at least 2 more chapters will happen so yay!

Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoy! ✨✨

August 6, 2021

  No longer being led by liquid courage, but by the sheer need to be your doting husband once again, Kento took initiative and scheduled the next counseling session. On appointment day, he picked you up early, ensuring he had an hour to calm his nerves and spirit during the drive.

The idea of reconciling felt surreal once he learned how close you were to being done with this marriage. 

"She has the papers drawn up and waiting to have you served. So figure out how to stop her from giving them to you, Nanamin! Simple." His voice of reason was the sound of Gojo telling him that you had already drawn up divorce papers. 

From what he was told, you were asking for very little if you both let it go through. Willing to leave him the home you bought together only wanting to keep the Nanami name and split all investments you'd made while married. Fair even when your heart was being broken into pieces. Perhaps he didn't deserve you. 

So step one was easy: Stop you from handing those papers to him. And that started here.

Ootaishi Niko: Would be special grade sorcerer and revered therapist across the southern prefectures. 

Currently not one of Kentos' favorite people.

  "I'm glad the first two sessions didn't scare you off. Make yourself comfortable." Kento sat in the middle of the couch, his thigh lightly grazing yours as he crossed his legs. He noticed you sat close to him, and he didn't move. 

Heavy air filled the room as the sound of the central unit whirred to life, gusting a light chill through the air.

Uneasy anticipation sat in the wings of the brightly lit space. 

The chenille-upholstered couch tugged at Kento as he sat back, placing the pillow between you both.

"We apologize for ghosting. After the two sessions, we didn't know—"

"If it was worth returning once they moved out of our shared home," Kento cut in before you could finish. 

He noticed your leg bouncing; he fixated on the box of tissues in front of him. "I apologize. That was unnecessary." 

"It's fine."  

Ootaishi noticed the small interaction but said nothing. Instead, she lowered the window covering that faced the couch and sat across from you in a single chair. 

"I am, as you know, dedicated to healing relationships, revealing the truth, and finding solutions. By entering my office, you consented to my domain. You could try to bypass my expansion, but it would do you more harm in the end."

She sat a small talisman on the table. The etchings glowed similarly to the Heian-era sigils you'd seen in your studies.

"With that said, you can leave anytime, as this is a barrierless realm. If you exit without acknowledging it, it will cause 24 hours of what I call Toxic Empathy. Are we clear?"

"Yes," you both uttered in unison, consenting before sitting back on the couch. 

"Splendid! Now, please close your eyes so we can begin."

Kento followed your lead, closing his eyes once he saw you settle. You took shallow breaths to center yourself.

In a low tone, Ooitaishi spoke, "Memory Alpha."

There was a noticeable shift in the room. Temperature dropped by at least 15 degrees as a chill swept on the nape of his neck. Mumbles of small talk surrounded him as the familiar scent of overly artificial strawberry and bramble room deodorizer filled his nostrils with an unpleasant sting.

Nearby speaker hummed a song that felt like a distant memory: ‘Daremo Shiranai’ by Arashi.

"Gojo's?" Kento's eyes opened, and there it was: Gojo's apartment. Ambient lighting lined the spacious loft walls that were never really lived in but used occasionally for events like birthdays, meetings after official meetings, and that night's game festivities.

Kento looked around the room, fully accepting that the office had been transformed into some type of memory bank. His memory bank.

"So, Kento. It seems you're first up. Do you mind telling me why we're here?" Ootaishi smiled, sipping the cold lager beer that appeared on the side table next to her.

"Ken." You knew exactly where you were.

Clearing his throat, Kento perched himself on the edge of the couch as he saw his younger variant walk through the front door. "The night Shoko introduced us. When we first met."

November 15, 2014

"Nanamin!" Gojo leaped with a smile, waving him down from the crowded corner of people playing Jenga.

Waving back in hopes of not being bothered no more Kento considered himself saved as Shoko walked over. "Avoid eye contact. He's been drinking milk tea all day and won't shut up about beating you in Yahtzee. We've got more important things to do anyway." She brought her hand to Nanamis's shoulder, chauffeuring him to where you sat near the open balcony doors.

There you were, leg shaking as you looked out the nearby window before noticing the approaching duo. "She's like me. But probably with a little more patience. The perfect match, really." He was working with nothing other than you had the patience of a saint and apparently were able to get Shoko to stop smoking.

And while he wasn't a superficial nor religious man, he thanked every God above and below that you were also beautiful.

Your cashmere sweater fit you perfectly as you stood up to greet him.

"I'm back, and here's the friend I mentioned. This is Nanami." Shoko gave a look of approval as she gave Kento a slight nudge.

"Hey! It's a pleasure." He took your outstretched hand and firmly shook it.

"Nanami Kento. It's great to meet you. Shoko has told me nothing about you."

Your warm laugh sent a surge of serotonin through his chest.

"Seems she's great at keeping her lips shut." You sat back down, offering the chair next to you. "But it does give us plenty to talk about and get acquainted better."

Nanami slid his coat off, smiling as he hung it on the back of the chair and sat beside you.

"Of course. Like how that sweater you're wearing is lovely. Cashmere?"

"Yeah! I bought it while I was out in Scotland over the summer. Thank you. Big fan of fashion?" You questioned while grabbing the beer bottle from the table.

He grabbed the drink Shoko had set down for him while she observed you interacting as if it were a chaperoned date. "Not necessarily. I just prefer to buy for long-term use."

"Same! I'd rather spend the large amount on quality that'll last years than something I'll need to replace by the end of the season." A sip from the apple-flavored IPA soothed your throat before you continued. "Like, it's money, and I hate to be an incessant contributor to capitalism, so I want to at least be wise about where my money goes, yanno? Less consuming, more investing in things that can be seen as sustainable. Even if it's clothing, I suppose."

Sensible, financially aware, hates capitalism, knew to buy a cashmere sweater in Scotland.

'Let's hold off on the pedestal.' Kento internally tried his best to ignore the immediate fluttering of his heart as you spoke. 'Perfect match.'

Four hours. Kento sat in that uncomfortable chair talking with you about everything he could for four hours, from learning about your love of music theory and literature to your time in med school with Shoko. He told you about his passion for research, travel, advocacy, and the arts. Your shared love of cooking somehow brought you to discussing family lineage.

"So a distant relative to the woman who was the unfortunate victim of Noritoshi Kamo. That dates back to the-"

"Meiji period. It's an incredibly long story, but my father tried to keep up with that part of my family history for a long time."

"Do you keep in touch with the Kamo clan?"

Shaking your head confidently, you responded, "They try to reach out to me, but I'd rather not be associated for the time being. Bit of a weird conversation to have."

Kento noticed your slight disconnect from this part of the conversation, watching your eyes migrate to fixating on your bottle once you mentioned their recent attempt. Choosing not to pursue it any further, he instead focused on your features as the low lighting seemed to glow around you.

Kento felt a hint of glee for the first time in a long time. He realized you'd noticed him taking you in, and the corners of your mouth lifted.

"Shoko tells me you'll be joining us at Jujutsu High. She said you left the sorcery world but came back! You excited?"

"You'll also be there?" Kento lifted his brow, not realizing you'd actually be around him more than he expected.

"Oh, yes! It isn't a significant role, though. I'm a consultant and teaching some history courses. And will do field work when needed."

"History?"

"Cursed energy and ancient techniques. Pushed hard for it to be a class for all 2nd years." Were you really telling him that you had a history course on curses?

"I'll have to sit in on one of your classes then. Sounds like I could learn a lot from you."

The sound of Gojo imitating another party guest echoed across the room, making you cringe with a laugh as Kento shook his head with a plastered smile. "I have to admit, I was a little hesitant on this whole blind date idea."

"Dating can be challenging as it is." Taking the last swig of your ale before idly playing with the bottle's rim, you continued, "Adding the shroud of mystery can make it almost unbearable. But Shoko did mention that you were my perfect match."

"Perfect match?"

"Don't tell me she was wrong, Nanami Kento." Dripping with flirtation, the tone in which you said his name turned his ears red-hot.

When he leaned into you, Kento smiled at your poor attempt to hide your sudden, bashful reaction. "I guess we'll only find out if I take you on a proper date on Sunday, perhaps?"

"Only if you promise to wear this tie again. I like how the pattern complements the chestnut flecks in your gorgeous eyes."

Marble. A marble pedestal. Engraved with your name across the front. One of the world's many wonders that now prominently sits in the forefront of Kento's mind for however long you allow.

"I'll let you dress me. How does that sound?"

July 3, 2015

"Surprise!" You cheesed until your cheeks ached as you stood in Kento's dim living room. The sparkler candles sitting atop the chocolate croissant bread pudding you held acted as the secondary light source after the dimmed ceiling light as he walked toward you. "Happy birthday, Ken!"

Chuckling, Kento sat his briefcase on the couch, bewildered by your ambush. "Dove, what is this?"

"Oh!" Handing off the dish to Kento, you put a party blower to your mouth and blew into it with all your might. "A surprise!"

Kento savored a fleeting moment to take in the sight of his living room. Adorned with its usual neutral-toned furniture, it had been transformed by the addition of a striking balloon bouquet nestled in a corner. Glittery confetti scattered across the floor and coffee table, catching the radiant hues of the late sunset, while elegant streamers crisscrossed the ceiling, adding an extra layer of festivity. Coming back to you, his softened gaze met yours.

"As is tradition back at home, you now have to suffer through my rendition of 'Feliz En Tu Día.' Clearing your throat as you placed a party hat on Kento, you began to belt.

What was happening? Why was his pulse quickening as he watched you sing a song with everything in you? Why did he feel his body warm up from how you smiled waiting for him to make a wish for today and everyday after?

His wish was you. You today and everyday after.

Kento felt his heart pounding from how sweet you were to him. Effort that felt so genuine and done out of love, he was beginning to think he might have a stroke. "I—thank you." He blew out the candles with a quaint smile and set the bread pudding down before kissing you deeply. "You really did this for me when you didn't have to. I have a birthday every year."

"Listen, you only turn 25 once; you deserve to be celebrated on every birthday." You laid a warm kiss on his cheek and held him close. "I know Shoko's party on Saturday may not be your scene, so I wanted to do something intimate and special just for us."

Kento went in for another kiss, gentler this time. Your heated flesh invites the palms of his hands as they slide under your shirt, finding the soft flanks of your waist. It was the most courageous he'd felt as the fluttery feeling hit his chest. "I love you."

Seven months and two weeks ago. 230 days. Kento knew he’d fall in love with you the same night he met you when you decided that waiting until Sunday was too long to see him again. When he took you to his favorite izakaya and introduced you to the owners, who kept giving him the all-knowing "That's the one" look all night.

You sat close in his usual booth, telling him everything else that wasn't shared at the party. The same booth where you couldn't help but notice the overwhelming grief in his posture as he confided his reasons for why he had left the sorcery world once before. In those suffocating moments, you became his solace, reminding him to just breathe. You became his reason to stay, his undying love.

"You love me?"

"I love you."

Your pupils dilated while your stomach filled with butterflies. "I love you, Kento."

When you returned his feelings itf felt like he was experiencing everything for the first time. He felt more alive than ever. Every interaction led to the heart-thumping experience of your love. The sheer intensity of each emotion made it a time of joy and anxiety as the fear of losing this feeling became just as strong as the love itself.

Kento's actions from this point forward were to be charged with meaning. His heart, which had been in darkness for years, was now in your hands.

"Memory Alpha 2.33."

The distant memory of the dim living room shut into itself as Kento reawakened in the office. He immediately looked over to you, your eyes still closed, but tears stricken down your cheeks as if you'd been crying.

"Dove, you okay?" Anxiety coated his tone as you appeared to still be under the effects of the domain.

"She will come to in a moment, Nanami. I want to take this time to talk to just you."

Kento wasn't sure how therapy was supposed to go, but this seemed far from the usual protocol. He glanced back over at you.

"I promise you, she's safe," Ootaishi assured Kento, sharing a quick glance at your current state of mind to calm his anxieties. You were sitting beachside at sunset, engrossed in yet another article on creating the perfect greenhouse all year round. A beach chair was set beside yours, and his worn copy of "Antic Hay" awaited him.

A wistful smile graced his face. "Thank you."

"You care very deeply for her."

Kento kept his eyes on you for a moment longer, watching the slow rise and fall of your chest, the way your mouth seemed to twitch into a smile. "She's my life."

"And so you choose to push your life away."

Kento's neck joints cracked as he turned back to face the therapist. "Excuse me?"

Ootaishi wrote something in her journal as Kento mentally torched a hole through her chest. "Your wife. You call her your life, yet we are here because your life is tired of being pushed away."

There goes his ring, feeling too small again.

"I'm not pushing her away."

"Then my apologies for assuming. What would you call what you're doing, Nanami?"

"I feel like we've reached a standstill in our marriage," he said, twisting the wedding band around his finger. The pinching sensation distracted from the undeniable truth of his feelings. “We've grown but in different directions. It's impacting our daily lives."

Ootaishi glanced at the talisman, the etchings now glowing a dull red. "It seems someone forgot about our honesty policy, Nanami."

A huff strong enough to blow off a roof exited Kentos' nose before dragging his hands down his face.

"It's clear that you are not ready to get to the real root of your problem, and that's okay. Healing is never linear, nor is it quick." Ootaishi took a few more notes and smiled before closing the journal. "But just for future reference, I prefer the method of you being honest with me, as I hate forcing myself into your psyche for the answer I need to resolve issues.”

Kento's jaw clenched as he sat up fully. There was a small, dare he say minuscule part of him that wished he could've just fessed up to why he was being a pussy. The chance was there; if nothing else, he appreciated how forward Ootaishi was to get him there.

But he wasn't ready to face the demons he knew needed to be slain before it was too late.

"Can you not mention this to her? It's not that I'm trying to keep anything from her—"

"You have my word, Nanami." She sat on the edge of her chair and looked over at you. "If you're ready, I can wake them up."

With a nod, Ootaishi intonated, 'Memory Alpha; end sequence,' and Kento watched closely as you slowly roused yourself.

"Welcome back." Ootaishi opened the curtains halfway and gave a warm, almost motherly smile as she looked at Kento and then at you. "Take some time to get adjusted to the room, and then we will end today's session."

"Thank you again for being so open to going back."

"I'm glad we did. It was better than I thought it would be. It was far more invasive than I realized." He crinkled his nose as he recalled the all-too-intrusive experience.

You both shared a chuckle as Kento walked you to the door.

"Yeah, it's a bit intense. But I've only heard of great results from Ootaishi, so I'll allow the invasion."

There was a lighter air between you as you neared the threshold.

"Did you want to come in for lunch? I've been marinating some eggplant in red curry. There's more than enough."

"Is that a good idea? I should give you some time to sort through today's session."

Eyes fluttered quickly as you were taken aback by the sudden compliance from Kento. "Is Nanami Kento actually taking the therapist's suggestions seriously?" It was apparent how impressed you were.

With a light chuckle, Kento shrugged as he looked at you. "I just want to show you how serious I am about everything. You deserve time to process today just like I do. But we can grab lunch soon."

"Lunch. Just tell me when."

"Absolutely."

The two of you stood together in the luminous hallway, the air heavy with unspoken words. The silence that enveloped you was strangely comforting. The faint sound of footsteps approaching the elevator shattered the peacefulness, jolting you both back to the present moment.

"I should get going, but let me know how the eggplant turns out. Tell both Shoko and Utahime I said hello."

"Will do. Let me know when you've made it home safely."

His hesitancy showed in the two steps he took towards you. Opting out of embracing you and instead kissing the top of your head and inhaling your scent.

"See you later, dove.”

“See you Monday, Ken.”

As the sun slips below the horizon, the golden light of the setting sun fades, leaving only the pale moonlight to illuminate the evening. In the silence of the late evening, Nanami sat in his den, deep in thought, attention focused on the quiet contemplation's of his mind. You.

The sound of his breathing was the only sound in the room, punctuated by the occasional rustling of pages as he fidgeted with the corners of his book.

The soft beams of moonlight cast shadows on the floor, the trees standing guard like looming sentinels against the glossy wood.

“I don’t even know what the fuck I’m reading.” A deep, dispirited sigh left his lips as he read the same sentence for the eighth time. Mentally worn, Kento sat the book on the table and fell back in his chair, slouching as he closed his eyes to gather a bit of energy to get to bed.

“Come to bed, Ken. Your pillow is a real shit replacement for your chest.”

Hearing your voice in his head, he smiled as if you were in the room with him. Your low, sweet-as-saccharin voice filled his mind as he replayed your sweet sentiments to himself like he did every other night since splitting. Toying with the waistband until he was tired of trying to play coy with himself, he rubbed his growing erection through his pajamas.

“God.” His lips parted, sucking in a small breath as he thought of your scent. Your hand on his chest as he inhaled you that afternoon.

He freed his thick member, looking at a drip of precum before smearing it with his thumb.

“Tell me how you want me, Kento.”

His left hand gently massaged his balls while squeezing the head of his cock as your voice led him to stroke himself.

Slow strokes to copy how you pleasure him had his eyes rolling back as he envisioned your lips pressed against his neck. Your warm breath sending electricity down his spine, your slick cunt resting on his aching balls as you stroked him from above. “Faster. Please.”

His steady rhythm quickened, a long tug before he slid his hand up and down his length faster, the wet sounds of his slick shaft competing with the lewd moans that fell from his parted lips. You. The way you whimpered his name when his thumb rubbed over your clit. Your eyes full of hunger when he would only let the tip of his thick cock poke and prod at your eager, fluttering cunt. “Is this what you want, dove?” fucking every inch into his hand with brute force as if were your wetness.

“Not yet… fuck.” Kento slowed down, lightly tugging his taut balls from his form to stop himself from releasing.

Painstakingly slow, he watched his reddened cock head swell as his grasp tightened, sliding up and down his shaft again. He watched the way the veins in his right hand were accentuated with each squeeze of his cock. Recalling how his hands looked cradling your face as your nose met his pubic hair, taking every inch of him to send him into a crying mess.

Hair stuck to his forehead as his chest heaved, pumping quicker to satiate the flame that kept growing in his abs. Losing himself in the fierce desire for you. “Please let me cum, please. Please, dove.” Hips bucking at an unearthly pace with pathetic pants of desperation echoing as he felt his release hit its peak before he pulled his hands away.

He knows he won’t finish. He can’t finish. He watched his cock bounce and flinch freely while the sweat on his brow cooled him. A huff of frustration brought him back fully as he tucked himself back into his pants, trekking to the bedroom in silence.

You’d trained him to need you for that release. A cruel feat that he couldn’t even call a punishment because it was a self-inflicted disservice.

Settled into bed for the night, Kento checked his phone one more time. His lock screen lit up with the only photo Kento allowed to be taken right after his hospital stay post Shibuya. Your lips on his cheek as he gave the camera a shy smile, Gojo’s white hair peaking in from the bottom corner after a failed crop attempt.

Four months and a week: 128 days separated.

One day towards fixing what can be saved.

[lemonlover1110]

Baby Steps

Satoru Gojo

[Chapter 15] Dinner

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Pairing: Satoru Gojo x f!Reader

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You get ready for dinner, putting on the prettiest dress that fits you. You begin to put on your makeup, trying your best to make it look effortless. For the first time in the past two days, you’re fine. For whatever reason, you’re ready to see what she has that you don’t. Ready to tell yourself that you’re so much better.

“Are you almost ready?” Kaya asks, barging into your room. She finds you putting on lipstick, and she smiles, realizing that at least you’re making the effort to get ready. However, her smile drops when she remembers why you’re getting ready. For a complete idiot. “Are you sure you want to go to dinner?”

“I want to see how they are together. She might eventually become my son’s stepmother.” You almost gag as the word stepmother leaves your lips. Kaya chuckles at your words.

“You really think that she’ll become a stepmother?” Kaya questions as you stand up and begin to look for your coat. You can’t waste too much time since you’re walking to a restaurant that’s at least a fifteen minute walk from your place. “I was upset about the fact that he was seeing someone, but Leiko of all women? If I were you I’d leave the country so you wouldn’t have to share the kid.”

“She’s not so awful. She was just a spoiled child, and she hasn’t grown out of it. Maybe Satoru will change her.” You respond as you put on your coat. You begin to walk to the living room. “Let’s change the topic…”

“Fine.” She rolls her eyes as she follows behind. She waits for you to finish getting ready, which feels like forever. But she doesn’t mind. She doesn’t want to spend too much time with your idiot baby daddy and his stupid girlfriend.

“Do you want to move in? I have an extra room. I could use an extra hand around.” You offer, and before she can accept or decline– Or tell you she has to think about it, you speak again, “You wouldn’t have to pay anything because Satoru pays for everything. And he swears he’ll send me money for groceries and whatnot.”

“Are you serious? I’d love to.” She answers. “I love it more because your stupid baby daddy is paying for everything.”

“I’m thinking about asking him for money so I can buy baby clothes. It’s his fault that I quit my job.” You share, and she smirks. She certainly loves that idea.

“You might as well ask him for more money so you can buy yourself a treat.” She suggests, causing you to smirk back at her.

“This is why you’re my soulmate.”

-

Kaya’s right by your side when you enter the restaurant. Your eyes immediately land on Satoru and Leiko, and the false confidence that you had instilled in yourself is gone. You want to cry when you look at how pretty Leiko looks with her navy blue dress.

You sigh, walking to the table, holding Kaya’s hand. You take a seat across from them in the booth, and Leiko grins. It’s almost wicked, but you tear your eyes away from her and look at Satoru. Satoru looks down at the menu, embarrassed. It’s rare to see him without his shades.

“Look at you, so round and big carrying our baby.” Leiko says, and it takes everything in Kaya not to break the woman’s nose. Satoru is visibly embarrassed, his cheeks pink as he hears that. There’s a lump in your throat, and you regret deciding to come here. “I’m so glad you decided to join us for dinner.”

“Me too.” You lie, clearing your throat. Five minutes then you’ll make up some excuse related to your pregnancy. Then you’ll go back home. Kaya looks back and forth between Satoru and Leiko.

“Satoru wasn’t too sure that you’d join us, but we’re glad that you’re here. I’ve been wanting to talk to you ever since I found out that you were carrying our baby.” Leiko continues, and Kaya takes a deep breath. You’re also taking deep breaths, trying not to burst into tears. 

“We’re not staying here for long. Just telling your little boyfriend to deposit money for baby clothes.” Kaya mentions, glaring at Satoru.

“Well… We were talking and we decided that maybe it’s time that you… Become more independent. Now you know that Satoru is in a relationship, and not all of his money can go–” Leiko begins, and Kaya is quick to interrupt her by pretending to reach for a napkin and accidentally spilling Leiko’s drink all over her. Leiko gasps, feeling the ice cold drink soak her dress.

“Oh, I’m sorry.” Kaya can’t help but laugh as she passes Leiko some napkins. “Going back to what you were saying… You do know that Satoru knocked her up, right? It’s his responsibility to pay for whatever she wants. You wouldn’t want his baby to crawl around with ugly cheap clothes?”

“Kaya…” You begin, seeing how she’s getting riled up, and the last thing you need is Kaya causing a scene and spending the rest of the night in a jail cell. 

“You know? Like the ones that you wear, Leiko. Satoru doesn’t spend much money on you from what I can tell…” Kaya tries to act innocent but it’s not working. Anyone can see right through it. You end up sighing, looking at Satoru who is too stunned to say anything. He simply doesn’t know what to say. Leiko ends up standing up, excusing herself to go to the bathroom.

“How much money do you need?” Satoru asks once Leiko is gone. You’re about to speak, tell him a small amount of money. But Kaya speaks for you, telling him an absurd amount of money that makes your eyes widen. “Alright, I’ll deposit it later tonight.”

“I guess we’ll be leaving then.” You stand up. Kaya stands up as well. “We’ll see you when the baby comes.”

“Huh?” Satoru questions. He blinks slowly, trying to process your words, “I still want to be involved–”

Well maybe not so involved. Suguru is still out there. Satoru’s best option is to separate himself from you and the baby, until he resolves the situation. “Nevermind. You’re right.”

“Good. Her boyfriend wouldn’t like her spending time with some ugly guy.” Kaya comments, side-eyeing Satoru. Your eyes widen and you have to take a deep breath. You should’ve known that she was about to spit out a lie to hurt him. You usually don’t mind it, but right now it’s one of those instances that you mind. Finding a man that will pretend to be your boyfriend isn’t the easiest task when you’re almost six months pregnant.

Satoru’s heart skips a beat when he hears this. He chews on the inside of his cheeks, trying to decide what to say. “So nice to hear that you found a boyfriend… Maybe I should meet him soon.”

“Uh… Yeah.” You respond. You awkwardly laugh before you and Kaya begin to walk away. You’re thinking about reprimanding her. When you’re out of the restaurant you speak up, “Are you out of your mind?”

“What? We’ll just find you a boyfriend. It’s not that hard.” She tells you, and you sigh.

“Kaya, every day I get bigger and bigger because I’m carrying another man’s child. You really think someone will want to date me right now?” You begin, and she can hear your voice breaking. You’re standing outside the restaurant. You want to begin walking home but your vision is clouded by tears. “The father of my child didn’t even want me, why would someone else?”

“Baby, he’s a complete dumbass.” Kaya wraps her arms around you. “I’m sure many other men want you, Satoru just couldn’t handle all that you were giving him. I saw Leiko and all I could think was how much of a dumbass he is. On your worst days you manage to look way better than she does at the moment. Plus you’re smarter. Funnier. Kinder. He doesn’t deserve you.”

“I love you so much, Kaya.” You sob, hugging her back.

“I love you too.” 

You don’t feel the pairs of eyes that watch you through the restaurant’s window as the scene unfolds. Satoru sips on his water, hating himself because he doesn’t dare to stand up and comfort you. That he cares for you. 

He feels trapped. He’s trying to figure out what to do to protect you while trying to avoid the mortal choice of ending someone’s life. That would end everything though. Maybe Satoru isn’t mature enough to know what to do. At twenty-one years he can’t decide if he wants to kill an old friend for the sole purpose of being with the mother of his child.

“That stupid Kaya. Spilling my cocktail all over my dress. That stupid bitch doesn’t know how much this costs.” Leiko comes back to the table, ranting about the incident that just happened. She watches Satoru who stares at the window, still watching how you and Kaya hug. He’s almost on the verge of tears.

“Do you think they’re like… together?” Leiko questions, making Satoru sigh.

“Do you want something else from here?” His annoyance is clear through his voice, but Leiko chooses to ignore it. She shakes her head, but Satoru doesn’t bother to look. “Please use your words.”

“No, I’m ready to go.” She responds, making Satoru stand up. He grabs a couple of bills to cover the check, dropping them on the table before walking away.

When he exits, you’re gone from the spot that you stood at. He sees you walking with Kaya, and while he yearns to walk with you, he has to turn the other way.

He hasn’t known you for that long and he can’t picture his future without you in it. It hasn’t even been a week, and he misses you like a maniac. He dreads the feeling of loss that runs through his body. It intensifies at the thought of you having a boyfriend. He knows it’s a lie, but just the thought drives him mad– It’s not loss though but rather,

Jealousy.

🏷 @witchofoe @cactustattoo @kageyamaslittleroyal20 @mykyoon @sunjayist @fonkymonkeyfriday @lilith412426 @luvs-wrld @witchymermaid12 @fi106 @distractionforyourthoughts @dearsunaa @tamak00 @watyousayin @leiriswhore @q-the-rockaholic @shuxjodie @syynnaaah @kleeboomed @shrekmwa @bakugobiddies @blueeskies17 @arminsgfloll @obeythemasters @crispmarshmallow @levismainbabe

[mundanemoongirl]

I just finished Gideon the Ninth and I have THOUGHTS

I’ve seen people talk about this book for a while but never about the plot, so I pretty much went in blind. I wish I knew before reading it that there is a glossary at the end. I was so confused for most of the book and would have gotten invested a lot faster if I understood the terms. That one was on me. My bad.

Okay so obviously there are some issues—every book has their own. It took me over a hundred pages to really get into the book because I didn’t understand the world or plot. I think more can be explained at the beginning. It’s such a fascinating world; Muir should give us much more of it. My other main issue is that sometimes there are paragraphs after paragraphs of dialogue and each line has a dialogue tag. There’s only two people talking. You don’t have to keep telling me who they are.

For a book I thought I wouldn’t like for the longest time, I was pleasantly surprised. Like I love it so much that I got on here to share my thoughts, which isn’t something I usually do. It’s not my favorite, but it sure is unique and entertaining.

I love the different houses and how they interact with each other. I actually wish we learned more about them. We understand the Ninth House, but what is life like on the different houses. I at least liked the little bits I learned about the fourth with the child soldiers. I also like that each necromancer has a different title because each house serves a different function. But seriously, how are you gonna casually write about princesses and give no details about what they do on their planets?

This book has some of the best character development I have ever seen. Especially with Harrow. She and Camilla were my favorites so I’m glad they made it to the end. I also think it’s really funny how there’s all these fantasy names and then there’s Camilla.

I like when Gideon gets more depth too. She went from seeing the fourth as bad teens to trying to protect them. That was one of my favorite parts.

I can’t believe Gideon forgave Harrow. I’m glad she did because I love them, but I have held grudges over much less offenses. I like that Gideon comes off as abrasive at first but the more you learn about her you realize she’s really compassionate. It’s amazing considering the environment she grew up in. Such a great character.

I LOVE the trials. I just love when people slowly figure things out, and this is also when I started understanding necromancy so I was really into the learning. I also appreciated that even though Harrow and Gideon hated each other, they made such a good team and that without trying, Gideon made such a good cavalier.

I often say I like the idea of enemies to lovers and not the common execution of it, but this book embodies that idea perfectly. Gideon and Harrow never become lovers, but the emotional growth they go through and the passion they have for each other kinda represents that feeling. They don’t need to be lovers for this trope to work. This is exactly what I’ve been looking for instead of just an asshole male lead who was never actually going to kill the female lead and they’re both attracted to each other from the start. Nah, these two despised each other and still worked through it. Other authors need to take notes.

The ending was so good. I loved Cytherea flirting with Gideon while fighting her. There’s something about evil characters having a soft spot for a character that is so appealing to me. I’m also an absolute sucker for characters from the far off past existing in the present. Give me this and I will love you forever.

Cytherea is actually a lot like the villain in my wip for the exact reasons I like her. The more I thought about it, the more surprised I was about how much my wip ressembled parts of Gideon the Ninth considering I wrote this stuff before reading the book. The houses are like my clans, the necromancy is similar to the spirits, and both sets of characters are shuttled off to a new location that is full of death. That’s probably like I like this book so much.

Also—the quote “And God said, ‘And I am not enough.’” is one of the best quotes I have ever read. It solely makes up for all the book’s flaws.

So that’s it. I hope Harrow the Ninth is just as good. I get scared to read sequels now because certain sequels are genuinely the worst things I’ve read. I also hope the next book goes more in depth with the worldbuilding. I’m excited to continue this series.

[tgmsunmontue]

Saga of Solitude 10/21

Nepo!Baby Bradley and his life at USNA and afterwards. DADT fully in force. IceMav AU. (Begun prior to 'It's not who you know' - the non-angsty version). (Side Hangster, which is ALSO angsty).

PROLOGUE (He remembers)

HANGSTER FIRST MEETING (Lonely Nights - set 2009)

PREVIOUS CHAPTERS

ONE (2000) TWO (2001) THREE (2002) FOUR (2003) FIVE (2004) SIX (2005) SEVEN (2006) EIGHT (2007) NINE (2008)

CHAPTER TEN - 2009

                “I think I might be done.”

                Tom almost drops the phone and he sits up straighter, knuckles tight.

                “What?”

                “You heard me. I think I might be done. Not with flying. Just… active duty. Think I might try out for that test pilot program you keep leave lying around. You’re not subtle.”

                “Mav…”

                “Best of both worlds right? I still get to fly, but I’m not on the other side of the world. I feel like I’ve been lucky so far, but I don’t want to…”

                He doesn’t finish whatever it is he’s thinking, but Tom can fill in the blanks with a multitude of endings. There’s Bradley of course, but he’s twenty-five. But Tamsin is only twelve and Petra is ten. He knows Mav doesn’t want to leave any of them. He could add himself in there, if he thought that maybe he was enough for Mav to consider giving up active duty. He’s never been enough before, and he’d never be a fool enough to ask Mav to stop doing something he loves, no matter how much Tom worries.

                The days tick past and he hasn’t felt this settled or optimistic since Mav briefly took a break and simply remained in reserves when Carole got sick. Just the knowledge that he won’t be on active duty in a war zone makes him feel ridiculously pleased, even if at the same time he worries about Bradley. Lord he’s glad that the girls are local and he doesn’t need to worry about them other than standard parenting worries. He hopes they pick nice quiet and safe jobs, because as he gets older, he’s not sure his heart is going to take it if it has the same series of shocks it’s experienced with Maverick.

                His next phone conversation doesn’t happen until a couple of weeks later and he finds out the Maverick has requested all the paperwork necessary and submitted an application. He doesn’t let his shock bleed through, but he definitely feels it, accompanied by the realization that when Mav gets home from this deployment he won’t be leaving American soil for a mission again, not if he gets any say in the matter. And he knows someone will ask. He may love Maverick, but he also isn’t blind to any of his faults and his peers know that at least.

                “I’m 48, they probably think I’ve calmed down enough in my old age to give me a shot right?”

                Ice keeps his mouth shut, because he’s made it a rule to try not to lie and he doesn’t think anyone in the Navy will ever assume Maverick has calmed down.

                “You’re definitely qualified for the position. They’d be lucky to have you,” is what he settles on instead.

…            …            …

                “Can we have a movie night daddy?”

                “Of course. As long as the two of you can both compromise on one movie and not argue over it,” Tom says, because listening to them bicker gets exhausting. He knows he’s giving Melissa and Sarah a break most weekends by having them come and stay with him, and he wouldn’t have it any other way, but he finds himself admiring parents who do it all the time with no break in sight. He is so grateful that he has them, but he’s also certain that they enjoy Bradley’s company over his, with them all sharing equal levels of energy.

                “Kung Fu Panda!”

                Tom looks between them and they’re both nodding vigorously; he feels like he’s been set up, tempted to message Sarah and check in to see whether this particular movie has been vetoed for any particular reason. It seems completely benign and he watches it, entertained by the different characters and enjoying having his daughters curled up on either side of him. Tamsin is drifting off, clearly not quite as engaged with the story as Petra, but he’s not going to rouse her and tell her to go to bed, happy to have her slumped against him. It’s not until later, when he’s carried Tamsin, still asleep, up to her bed and come back down to find Petra chopping at the pillows that he realizes his mistake.

                “Daddy? Can I have kung fu lessons?”

                Of course, the warning was right there in the title of the movie. He should have known. She is such a daredevil and so full of energy and god she reminds him of Pete with every smile. He knows he can never say no to her, the best he can do is delay and hope that either she forget (unlikely), or someone else will tell her no.

                “We’ll talk about it in the morning.”

                “Okay! Love you daddy. Good night!”

                “Love you too peanut. Good night…”

…            …            …

                He swings his bag over his shoulder, feels buoyant as he walks toward the spot where everyone is disembarking. He knows he’s got his family waiting and he’s got four more weeks before Mav finishes his own deployment, has spoken to him about his plans to withdraw from active duty if his application for test pilot training is accepted and Bradley knows they won’t be turning someone with Mav’s experience down. But there are two golden weeks where all seven of them will be together and he cannot wait.

                “Expect your wife is going to make you shave that off before she lets you within five yards of her…” Bradley calls out to Flipper, who just laughs and gives him the finger.

                “Like you can grow a better one!” Fin yells back and Bradley laughs.

                “I can grow a better moustache in my sleep.”

                “Photos, or it didn’t happen!”

                “You’re on!”

…            …            …

                “I’m not a baby Bradley…”

                “You’re not even half my age,” Bradley replies, trying his best to keep his amusement from his tone. Tamsin will be a teenager at the end of the year, something he’s sort of in denial about, can still remember his early days of being a teenager himself and Sarah carefully placing infant Tamsin in his arms.

                “Which makes you ancient.”

                “If I’m ancient, what does that make your dad?”

                “A zombie. Have you seen him?”

                Bradley snorts, because Ice definitely looks half-dead, but he’s putting that down to his worry over Maverick, who is in the Middle East, but he should be home in about a week. Not soon enough judging from the dark circle under Ice’s eyes. Although the fact that Ice is for some reason now letting Petra try out a variety of martial arts may also be part of his worry. But it means he gets one-on-one time with Tamsin, who definitely seems to have something on her mind.

                “Bradley.”

                “Yeah. Sorry. I’ll stop changing the subject. Hit me with the serious question you wanted to ask me.” God he hopes it isn’t about sex.

                “Do you think my parents loved each other?”

                Fuck. Sex would be easier. Maybe?

                “Uh… Why do you ask?”

                Shit. He is not equipped for this conversation at all.

                “I just… they seem to love each other. I don’t get why they got divorced.”

                Oh. Okay. Maybe he is equipped to answer this after all.

                “Well, you know your mom is a lesbian right?”

                “So getting married and having me and Petra was a mistake?”

                Double shit. Reverse. Undo. Back track. Fuck.

                “No. I’m pretty sure it was anything but a mistake. I think you and Petra are both very wanted and much loved. Uh. Have you talked to any of your parents about this?”

                “No. I don’t want to upset them.”

                He’s trying to remember how old he was when they told him, how old he was when he figured it out. He knows Ice and Sarah won’t be upset, that they’ve probably been prepared for this conversation for years. And yet she’s having it with him.

                “I just wonder sometimes because I look at Petra and she looks so much more like Papa than she does dad. I look like dad. Petra looks at least a little bit like mom.”

                “Uh. Yeah. I noticed that too. That’s very observant of you.”

                Where the fuck is Ice when he needs him?

                “Do you think my mom had an affair?”

                “No. I know she didn’t… shit.”

                “You’re not meant to swear.”

                “Yeah. I know. This is just… I really think you need to talk to your mom and dad about this.”

                “Why? What’s so bad that you can’t tell me?”

                “Fuck…” Bradley breathes out.

                “You’re really not meant to say that word…”

                “Yeah. Okay. I’m going to tell you. But I’m going to be telling your parents, all of them, that I’ve told you. So you can go and talk with them and ask questions, because… I was your age when your parents got married. I do not have all the details.”

                “Okay. So tell me, what happened?”

                He gives the bare bones, explains, as best he can, about DADT. Agrees with her when she calls it stupid. Talks about his own parents and how both Ice and Mav married women, his mom being one of them, Sarah being the other. He ends up getting a picture of his parents from his room to show her and then holding her as she cries, realizing that he’d lost both his parents when he’d been her age.

                He explains how and why Ice and Mav hide their relationship, that he also won’t be bringing a girlfriend home anytime soon. Isn’t planning on having a relationship anytime soon because it’s simply in the too hard basket. Then he brings up the fact that she is very observant, that Petra does indeed look like Mav, and that’s because Mav is her biological dad. Her eyes are wide, mouth open in surprise and he wonders if he’s said too much. Hopes like hell that trusting his gut is going to have been the right thing to do, that Mav and Ice letting him know about his own mom’s wishes and then letting him make his own decisions about his own life. That they’d want Tamsin to also know the truth of the matter, especially as she’s asking questions.

                “Can I swear?”

                “Sure. Go ahead.”

                “Holy shit.”

                Bradley throws back his head and laughs.

…            …            …

                Knowing that this is his last time is bittersweet. He walks over the deck and lets his fingers trail over the railing. He didn’t join to live his life on a carrier, being on a carrier is just a necessity for somewhere for the planes to land and refuel before they can get back into the sky. He misses the sky every time he’s on the ground, needs the wide open spaces which is why he likes going out to the hangar so much, the sheer amount of space around him makes it feel like he’s close to being in the sky. As he disembarks he can see Bradley standing and waiting, Tamsin and Petra beside him and his throat works, because he’s home, and safe, and he won’t have to leave them again wondering if he’ll not make it home.

…            …            …

                “Jesus kid, you look like you dad.”

                “Uh. Sorry. Do you want me to shave it?”

                “No!” Pete says, vehement. “Shit Bradley. You’re allowed to look like your dad. You do that without even trying. Just took me by surprise. He’d be tickled pink and so proud of you. Your mom would be too, scared shitless every time you were out of sight, but she’d still be so proud. We’re proud of you too you know. All of us. Ice, Sarah, Melissa. You’ve turned into this amazing capable man and I’m immensely proud to call you my son…”

                “Uh. Thanks. I think you all had a lot to do with how I’ve turned out…”

                “We tried to help point you in the right direction, but you’re the one who put in the hard work.”

                “And you and Ice taught me all about hard work.”

                “I guess we did.”

                “Can I ask you something?”

                “Of course, you can ask me anything.”

                “When you taught me how to shave… did you feel old?”

                “Old? No. Not old. But… a little sad I guess?”

                “Sad?”

                “Well, that your dad wasn’t the one teaching you. That you weren’t this little kid anymore. I was glad I got to be there for it… You planning on keeping that caterpillar?”

                “No. Just growing it for a dare. Why?”

                “I have something of your dad’s. He was ridiculously proud of his moustache, had this little kit that your mom bought him, little comb and brush, little pair of scissors. Been keeping it safe, if you end up needing it for your own then I guess I better get it out of storage…”

                “I… thanks Mav. I’ll be shaving it off before I report back though. Too annoying to maintain and keep tidy.”

                “Okay. Well, you let me know if you change your mind.”

…            …            …

                “You want to do my hair?”

                “Yeah! Can we but bows in it?”

                “Have at it,” Bradley says, so glad they’re both still willing to be a little silly with him. He knows with the current state of the US military he’s never going to have kids, not unless he figures something out with Natasha and he doesn’t think she’d put her career on hold and he wouldn’t expect her to. So he will make do with what he has and enjoy it as much as he can in the moment, knows Tamsin is very much on the cusp of not doing this again, is simply

                “Why don’t you always let it grow long?”

                “Navy doesn’t allow us to have long hair.”

                “They Navy is dumb,” Tamsin says, pouting as she runs a sparkly purple comb through his curls, and Bradley bites down on his lips to hide a grin. She’s been quite vocal to him about how stupid she thinks the whole institution is, although very careful not to say it within hearing of either Ice or Mav. Although Mav has just appeared in the door, eye bright with mischief as he takes in the scene.

                “You look very pretty Bradley.”

                “Thank you. They worked very hard to make me look this good.”

                “Papa! Come sit!”

                Bradley laughs at the expression on Mav’s face, but then he’s sinking to the floor beside him and Petra is putting bows in his hair as well and he’s pretty sure he’s never seen Mav look happier. The dark circles under Ice’s eyes have also gone so Bradley is pretty sure everything is right with their world.

…            …            …

                Tamsin looks miserable and Bradley isn’t sure what he can do, needs to immediately fix whatever it is that is making her look like this. They’ve grown closer during this leave period, with their conversation making her feel more like an adult, at least with him. Fortunately he’d been commended for how he’d handled the conversation with her, the approval of all his parental figures had hit him hard and unexpected, not aware how much he still wanted and needed it.

                “What’s wrong?”

                “Nothing.”

                “Uh. You look sad though.”

                “I’m allowed to be sad!” Tamsin snaps and Bradley’s eyebrows shoot up.

                “Can you tell me why you’re sad?”

                “I can’t go swimming…”

                Bradley blinks, confused.

                “Um. Why not?”

                “Because I have my period.”

                He rears back, the shock of the fact and the straightforward statement taking him completely by surprise. Sure they were like brother and sister, but this was new.

                “Since when?”

                “Since this morning. It’s not contagious. Stop looking at me like that!”

                “Um. Sorry. Just, uh, I kind of… you’re growing up I guess and that’s just…”

                “Making you feel really old?”

                “Yeah, little bit. Shit.”

                “You think it’s shit for you? You’re not the one that has to have it every month…”

                “I apologize on behalf of my entire gender.”

                “Good. You should be sorry.”

                He bites his lip and nods his head, holy hell she’s going to be a force to be reckoned with and he really should have invited Natasha home with him. Next time.

                “How about we go ice skating instead?”

                “Oh! Yes! But don’t let Petra bully you into playing hockey. She can wait until the season starts again.”

                “Petra is playing hockey?”

                “Duh. She tried field hockey but then complained it wasn’t fast enough. I think mom is a little worried she’s going to steal the car and take it for a ride.”

                “Ha. Hahahaha,” Bradley laughs nervously, because hold shit if he didn’t already know she was Mav’s kid, hearing that she likes things fast and a little dangerous. “How is her skateboarding going?”

                “Good. She’s managing some really cool things now. We should go to the skatepark so she can practice.”

                “You’re a good big sister.”

                “Thanks. I had a good big brother to show me what not to do.”

                “Hey!”

                “Kidding! I love you Bradley.”

                “Love you too Tamsin.”

…            …            …

                With a sense of dejavu he reads the news. Gay marriage has been legalized in Iowa and also Vermont. That’s four different states now. It’s like a domino effect and after decades of hiding.

…            …            …

                “Sir.”

                “Aubrey. What is it.”

                “Sorry sir. Nothing.”

                From experience Tom knows it is definitely not nothing. Aubrey takes her breaks with all the other support staff and has some convoluted but incredibly invaluable way of hearing of things before they become issues which he then finds he has to deal with.

                “Clearly it isn’t nothing. What have you heard this time?”

                He hasn’t told her about his little note-book, but he suspects she has something similar, even if it’s only in her own head.

                “You’ve known Captain Mitchell for a long time sir.”

                Inwardly Tom groans to himself, wonders what the hell he’s done now.

                “Yes. Over twenty years.”

                “A good friend then sir.”

                “Yes. My best friend.”

                She looks torn then and he frowns, wonders what she knows that he potentially hasn’t already heard about from someone else in the Navy. Maverick is not known for being quiet or passing unnoticed, which is why he suspects that their relationship has gone unremarked upon for so many years, many people assuming Maverick could not keep something like that secret.

                “Maverick was seen going into your ex-wife’s house… at nearly midnight.”

                He doesn’t let his surprise show, because while he knows there is gossip he’d never expected to hear it from his assistant. Also this is something he knows about, because Maverick took his car, because the bike would have been far too noisy at midnight.

                “Okay. Just to be clear, you think that Maverick is having an affair with my ex-wife?”

                “Isn’t he meant to be your best friend sir?”

                Oh. Wow. There goes the idea that she had clocked him.

                “Okay. Yes. He is my best friend. In fact his late-wife, Bradley’s mom, introduced me to Sarah. However Sarah and Maverick are grown consenting adults… However, if we’re talking about last week, well Maverick was there because Melissa was working a night shift, Sarah and the girls were sick and I couldn’t risk getting sick and Mav is on leave…”

                “Oh.”

                He swallows nervously, because he’d sort of assumed that she had put everything together, that he and Mav were more than just friends. However the fact that she thinks… well, thought. Until he just cleared that up.               

                “Melissa? The woman Captain Mitchell brought to the dinner last year?”

                “Yes. My ex-wife’s… wife,” Tom provides, and this is potentially where all his well-craft duplicity comes undone, however he’s never been wrong yet with where he’s laid his trust.

                “Oh. Oh. Sir.”

                “Was there a question in there Aubrey?”

                “No sir. Not at all. You have a very lovely family.”

                “Yes. I consider myself very lucky to have them all in my life.”

                “Just so sir.”

…            …            …           

(LONELY NIGHTS FITS HERE - Bradley and Jake hook up the weekend before they both report to Corpus Christi.)

…            …            …

                He’s known in the pit of his stomach that he and Jake were reporting to the same base, however he hadn’t realized that Jake was also a naval aviator and that means their circles of interactions are overlapping too much for his own liking. He doesn’t speak with Jake directly, doesn’t let any sign of recognition show on his face as they’re introduced. Jake is fresh from USNA, bright and eager and smart and also so fucking talented that Bradley can see why he’s here. Without even being aware of it he finds himself tracking Jake’s movements and god, he needs to get it under control and figure out a way to be more subtle otherwise he’s going to bring them both down.

                He wonders if he’d still have slept with him if he’d known.

                He needs to talk to Ice and Mav and figure out how they keep it hidden, because he’s worked too hard to get where he is to let it all crumble apart now.

…            …            …

                “Sir. Captain Mitchell is here to see you.”

                “Of course. Thank you Aubrey. Captain Mitchell, nice to see you again.”

                “And you Admiral.”

                He doesn’t miss the fact that she makes Maverick a cup of coffee.

…            …            …

                Bradley’s normal Saturday afternoon phone call is usually with Mav, and he’s just about to offer to go and get him when it becomes apparent that Bradley maybe wants to talk to him first, words exploding out of him.

                “How do you do it? Have your relationship with Mav and settle for… this weird half-life?”

                God he hopes Bradley is somewhere he can’t be overheard.

                “When it’s that, or the option of not having him in my life at all? It’s an easy decision.”

                On the other end of the line Bradley sucks in a breath, Tom isn’t sure how to take it. Wonders what the hell Bradley has gotten up to when he’s not even been gone two weeks.

                “He’s a rank below me.” It’s Tom’s turn to suck in a sharp breath, but a single rank isn’t unsurmountable. Not when it’s low and there isn’t a large differential of power. “I didn’t even know he was Navy when we hooked up the first time.”

                “The first time?”

                “Well, the first time rolled into the second and then… a couple of days and nights together.”

                “Jesus Bradley. Are you sure he’s not going to make a complaint against you?”

                “I’m not completely sure, but I don’t think he would. He might not like me very much right now, but I don’t think he hates me and would want to implode my career.”

                “Shit Bradley. Look. It’s going to be hard either way. Being with him, not being able to tell anyone, spending months apart, having to pretend you don’t care about him anymore than any other of your shipmates… But that type of hard can be worth it when you come home to each other. Or you make a hard decision now and cut your losses, walk away from it and then always wonder what might have happened…”

                “Yeah. I’ve already cut my losses.”

                “Okay kid. Okay.”

…            …            …

                “Hey Mav.”

                “Bradley. You okay?”

                “Yeah. I’m fine. Just… you know that moustache kit of my dads?”

                “Yes.”

                “Could you send it to me?”

                “Of course buddy. Everything okay?”

                “Yeah. I just… figured I’d try keeping it for a bit. Someone told me I suited it.”

                “Well, they weren’t wrong.”

…            …            …

                On Monday when Tom gets to work he asks Aubrey to collate a list of all current personnel going through flight school at Corpus Christi. Knows one of them is going to be Bradley’s maybe unwise hook-up.

                He also asks her to get him a new note book.

CHAPTER ELEVEN (2010)

[beyondtheglowingstars]

Eyes on me

Pairing: Four x GN reader Word count: 2.7k+ WARNING(S): NSFW MINORS DNI!!! | Mentions of alcohol consumption and drunk people (nothing really comes from it though) General info: He was the distraction you needed when life got too overwhelming, willing to keep you entertained. And you were not going to pass on the chance of getting to know better the hot guy that you might have a crush on.

Disclaimer: This fic was made under the assumption that the reader knows, or at least has more or less of an idea of what male stripping/lap dancing is like. If you do not know what that looks then I recommend you to watch a few videos then come back here. Of course you can still read without knowing what that's like, but it does help paint a better picture when you know what happens in those.

“Hey.”

Your train of thoughts was interrupted by a voice coming from your right. It was Link, a kind smile on his face. You had forgotten about him entirely since he left his seat a few minutes ago to use the restroom, until now that he spoke after returning.

“Hey.” You replied back with cheeks heating up minimally and the corners of your lips mirroring his.

You’ve been having a not-so-great night, but Link’s provided a temporary distraction if only for just a moment and lightened the mood a little. And you were grateful in earnest about it, grateful that Link was willing to talk to you and distract you from your rowdy, inebriated friends on the other sides of your shared table.

The blond finished what was left of his drink, placing the glass down and tracing circles on the table with his index finger. He then got comfortable, twisting his body so it faced you more directly and placing an elbow on the table for support.

“What’s on your mind? I was told you haven’t been having the greatest time these last few days.” He asked you with a soft expression.

He did not beat around the bush for that one. But you guessed that there really wasn’t any point in complicating the question; not that you really minded, though, you knew there weren’t any hidden intentions behind the question.

You didn’t know how he did it, or why happened, but you somehow always found yourself at ease around Link despite not having known each other for as long as you did your other friends. Besides finding him unfairly hot and charming, perhaps it was due to how genuine and open-minded he was, most definitely a rarity. You felt like you could confide in him.

You sighed and ran a hand through your hair.

“Too many things going on at once.” You replied with a tired voice.

Your hands picked up your own glass and take another gulp of the liquid, Link idly followed your movements with his eyes before settling them on your face again.

“That’s no good, you do look like you need a break.” There was a small pout on his lips.

“That’s why I was brought here, and it’s working great.” Your voice thick with sarcasm.

“I noticed. So, how about something else then?”

“What do you suggest?” You questioned, without any hope left for the night improving.

“I dunno, we can do… anything you want, really. You’re the only other adult left on this table.”

He sighed dramatically.

“Don’t wanna deal with kids yet,” He glanced at your group of friends “I’m single for a reason.”

You chuckled and he grinned.

“Am I glad you’re here.”

Link raised an eyebrow in interest.

“Aren’t you?” He winked with a smirk, making blood rush to your cheeks.

You felt like you almost forgot how to talk; words caught up in your throat and your head void of ideas. All you could muster was a pitiful ‘yes’ that he acknowledged with a smile, but he didn’t press on. You cleared your throat.

“So, anything?” You asked him, wanting to change the topic from yourself to something else.

Link ‘mhm’d in approval and nodded a few times, the movement making his hair bob. Oh, but the look he was giving you. It was innocent enough to make you second guess if he had really teased you just a few seconds ago.

“Anything you want to do.” He encouraged you again to speak of what you desired.

You took a moment to consider the offer, but soon found something you had always wanted to do. You figured that if he was being honest, he shouldn’t have too much of an issue granting your wish.

“I’d like to know more about you. You know more about me than I do about you.”

It looked as if though he had a moment of realization, eyelids widening slightly. His eyes met yours with a shy smile and a nervous laugh as he scratched the back of his neck.

“I guess I usually don’t really share about myself, do I? Fine, I’ll tell you more about me if that’s what you really want.”

You counted this as a victory, the feeling of triumph coming forth.

“Why don’t we go somewhere else? I’ll tell you more about myself if you come with me. That’s the only thing I ask for in return.”

Link stood up from his seat and looked at you expectantly, smiling warmly.

“C’mon, I can even treat you to something, if you’d like.”

There really wasn’t any reason for you to stay, so you took on his offer without as much as hesitation. Link beamed as you stood beside him, he dug into his pocket for his wallet and put down some change on the table, enough for a tip and all.

“That should be enough for us both. Don’t even worry about it.”

But he anticipated your protest and spoke right as you opened your mouth.

“It’s fine, sugar. It really is. Now, let’s go have some actual fun, shall we?” He finished off with a wink and a cheeky smile.

He undeniably knew what he was doing to you, just the unexpected nickname he used on you was enough proof of it.

The remainder of the night was spent in Link’s company; laughing, joking, learning way more about him than you expected to, and you couldn’t have asked for more, you had a great time. The minutes passed by like a blur, and next time you blinked you had made it to your apartment’s living room.

“You don’t have any roommates, do you?” The blond asked you with cautious eyes, his voice dropping in volume as if to avoid alerting a possible roommate of yours.

You raised an eyebrow in confusion not only at the odd question, but also from the sharp change in tone from it.

“No? Why do you ask?”

A mischievous smile slowly crept up to Link’s face.

“I was asking because…” His hands found their way to your waist, pushing you gently and making you sit on the couch behind you.

“I told you earlier that I had something for you, didn’t I? It’s only for you, so I was making sure. And didn’t you say you wanted to know more about me?”

You crossed your arms with newly piqued interest, excitement flowed through you and you felt your face warm up again for what had to be the hundredth time that night.

“What is that something you’re talking about?”

Link smirked, taking off his jacket and dropping it on the floor behind him without a care. The shirt he wore underneath was loose, but it allowed you to see his defined arms, your eyes trailing their shape almost on instinct.

He leaned close to you, close enough to whisper in your ear.

“Don’t worry, you’re about to find out.”

The feeling of his breath on your skin raised goosebumps all over, and a new kind of excitement surged through your veins.

He drew back with his face mere centimeters away from yours.

“Can I touch you?”

Link brought up a hesitant hand next to your cheek, stopping a short distance away from having contact with your skin. He waited for you to give him the green light, which was a nod of your head. He brushed his fingers against your cheek, later making his index digit trace your jaw bone with a feather-like touch. His finger remained under your chin.

“Let me know if you want me to stop at any point and I will, hm?”

His breathy voice and half-lidded eyes were doing more than one thing to you.

It was paralyzing, but you managed to nod.

Link separated from you, sensing your tension and wanting to ease some of it, he flashed you one of his smiles. He fished his phone from his pocket, fingers tapping on the screen and then music started playing, a slow beat. His hands quick to place the device on a corner of the couch.

“Just focus on me.” An intentional wink sent your way.

He moved his body in beat to the music, but not just in any way; no, he was moving in more of a suggestive way, making sure to draw your eyes right to his body. So effective in what he did that your eyes were fixated on him entirely even if nothing about his outfit was revealing; he was a good dancer, that much was clear to you from the way he moved, coordinated and captivating at the same time. But even if he didn’t have those flashy moves, you were sure the way he moved his hips would have drawn you in either way.

The blond was delighted to know that your eyes were running over him, he came closer to you with a smirk. His hips gyrating in the most hypnotizing way.

“Go on, you can look at me all you want now. All of this is for you.”

To him, you looked nothing short of entranced, and he wanted to keep it that way for as long as he could. He took hold of the hem of his shirt on the left, lifting that section all the way to his chest and granting you an eyeful of what’s been hiding underneath.

It was all so much better than you could have imagined. You may have entertained the idea of what Link looked like underneath the layers of clothes a couple times in the past, but anything you could have thought about could not compare to what it really looked liked in person.

His chiseled abs will now permanently reside in your head, and just the thought of seeing more of what his body had to offer sent a jolt of energy wild and free through you.

The peek of his delectable torso was, unfortunately quick, but Link made sure to not let you dwell on it. His jeans were unbuttoned with evident practice while his lower body kept those mesmerizing motions, a hand sneaked past the elastic band of his underwear and inside, looking as if he were palming himself. The heat pooling between your legs and fuzziness all over your body felt sinfully divine, and Link only encouraged more of what you felt.

“Hey, sugar. Please do me a favor and don’t hold back in the way you look at me.”

Link came closer, his expression making it clear that he was planning something else. Both of his hands finding the ends of his shirt, pulling it up slowly, permitting you a view that only got better. The clothing article was discarded, thrown somewhere where you wouldn’t have to worry about it anymore.

So much better it did get, so much better with the unobstructed view at what you thought was the perfect upper body. His chest defined and full, abs highlighted by the light in the most wonderful way with the teasing hint of a v-line, but his arms weren’t left behind, with thick forearms, hard shoulders and visible biceps. This was a scenario that you would only find in your dreams.

As if hearing your thoughts, Link confirmed to you that yes, it was all real and not a dream. His weight on your lap bringing you back to reality, the look he was giving you through long eyelashes somehow made him more attractive than he already was. The close proximity of the undeniable eye candy that was his body making your cheeks glow with red, your inexperienced hands to your sides.

The blond would not stand for that; he held both of your wrists, placing one of your hands firmly on his thigh while your other one was led to lay flat against one of his pecs.

“Just relax. It’s okay to have fun.” He spoke with that sultry voice that had your ears begging for more of it.

He gently pushed your hand down, guiding it so it ran over the ridges of his body all the way down to his lower abdomen, where he then let go. Link rolled his hips slowly, and with help from his previous encouragement you trailed your hand over his abs, to which he smiled and let out a hum of approval at. Oh, the tease that he was, he got off of you not long after, and it made you lament to yourself the lack of physical contact.

He made sure to keep your attention on his crotch, with the rolling and thrusting of his hips more energetic. He undid the fly of his pants at long last and lowered his jeans at a torturously slow pace, but only low enough to allow you a better look at his Adonis belt.

His hand slid under the waistband of his underwear, directly to his dick to grab at it while his lower back kept moving to match the beat of the song; you didn’t fully register your own reaction to what was in front of you, but it must have been one of great interest as Link nearly chuckled from it.

He trailed his hands up his body, flexing one of his arms and sending a wink your way to shift your focus as he kicked his shoes off. He hooked his thumbs on the waistband of his jeans, pulling them down further along his thighs and below his butt, low enough for you to see his contained bulge.

Link turned around, back facing you and legs some distance apart, bending his spine forward he pushed his pants down all the way to his knees and sold off the motion with a roll of his hips. He got on his knees, twisting his body around to face you as he gave a few massages to his bulge.

He placed his hands on both of your knees, where he pushed your legs spread apart. There was a short moment of confusion that left once Link emerged from between your legs, each hand placed next to your hips and on the cushion to support himself up with his arms.

He ground his clothed bulge against the front of your crotch repeatedly, with just the right amount of pressure to feel it through what you wore. He was softly biting his lip with a smirk, his expression enough to make warmth flow at the front of your pelvis, so let alone the much more intense sensations coursing through you when his face was paired with the delicious grinding of his still hidden dick. It was maddening.

Your contact was short-lived as he moved away from you, completely ridding himself off his trousers and leaving him in just his underwear. He ran his hands over his torso, hips moving in gentle circles just so he could grab the elastic of his underwear and lower it further. Pubic hair would be peeking from underneath by now if he didn’t shave.

The thoughts in your head were running at incredible speeds, and it did not help that Link pulled down the back portion of his trunks decisively to expose his ass, while groping his junk through the thin fabric.

Oh but he believed he hadn’t teased you enough yet, no. He positioned himself over your lap, knees on either side of your thighs to support himself, and very clearly sticking his ass out. The blond took hold of your hands, bringing them to his thighs and then letting out a relaxed sigh when he felt them roam over his body.

“So I take it you’re not stressed anymore.” He teased you as he leaned into some of your touches, the tone in his voice closer to what he usually sounded like.

You’d be lying if you didn’t say you were still not fully over what was happening right now, so it took you a moment to reply.

“Not anymore.” The smile on your face conveyed satisfaction.

“That’s what I like to hear,”

Link took one of your hands and slowly dragged it down, all the way to his lower abdomen.

“but I don’t think my job is done just yet.” His voice was back to that sultry tone that had you feeling so many things at once.

He brought your hand even lower, his clothed bulge pressed against the palm of your hand.

“I still have more for you, and I’d love to give you all of it, if you’d let me.” There was a slight buck of his hips to create friction against your hand.

That was an offer you simply could not refuse.

A/N: Everybody thank Butter for mindbreaking me with more than one delicious thought about Four while I was already in a mental state of questionable quality. Fic wouldn't have been created if it weren't for her.

[kurishiri]

14 . . . main story

— this translation may not be 100% accurate or may contain creative liberties. if you enjoy, please consider reblogging, but don’t repost or claim these as your own!

— cw: obsessive, stalkerish, kind of controlling behavior.

The art dealer from the ‘Bernard Company’ arrived at Lord Elbert’s manor the next day.

Of course, the people here did not hold a shred of doubt that the person they welcomed in the manor was simply ‘Lord Elbert’s work partner.’

(To be honest, facing him directly now that I understood that he was a member of the ‘Bernard Company’...)

(...is really painful.)

Acting as Lord Elbert’s assistant, I was to accompany him in this deal.

When I thought of how he was a member of the organization that had tried to kill Daisy, my chest became more heavy every time I gave a superficial smile.

Lord Elbert was indifferently talking with the art dealer...

(But Lord Elbert is probably also hurting as we speak.)

The memories we had shared together the day Daisy had passed only more strongly confirmed this.

(He looks as he does any other day, but... perhaps, the reason why is because he had become too accustomed to the pain.)

Art dealer: All of the pieces before you are rare goods of top-class quality. You probably won’t be able to get them anywhere but here.

The art pieces and jewelry the dealer brought with him were lined up in a row, and clearly in high spirits, he questioned Lord Elbert.

Art dealer: Well, might there be pieces befitting that of a count?

Elbert: ......All of them.

Art dealer: Excuse me?

Elbert: Leave them all here, please.

With just a short glance at the pieces lined up before us, Lord Elbert had made his decision.

Art dealer: ...I see. I did have an inkling you’d say so based on the party and also some rumors I’d heard in passing, but goodness gracious.

The art dealer seemed to be scheming something, and his eyes narrowed like a razor beneath his silk hat.

Art dealer: It appears you are quite obsessed with beauty too, no?

Elbert: ...‘Too’?

Art dealer: Well, seeing that I do consider you a true collector, I would like to make a proposition.

The art dealer adjusted his seating and lowered his voice, almost as though he were divulging a secret.

Art dealer: Next time, the top of the Company, Gabriel Bernard,

Art dealer: will invite honored guests from outside the country to hold an auction.

(...!)

(When he says ‘top’——he must mean the head of this criminal organization.)

Art dealer: The special showcase is a rare blue diamond of over 60 carats, regarded as the most beautiful in this world and beyond.

Art dealer: And I would like to extend an invitation to you to attend that auction. How about it? Is it to your fancy?

(...Which means, he’s been accepted as someone ‘invited to their domain.’)

Accepting the invitation would unmistakably be a crucial development to the mission given by Her Majesty.)

Elbert: ......Alright, I accept.

Art dealer: Ahh, I’m glad! I will send the invitation to you at a later date.

Art dealer: Well then, please sign here for the payment.

When the negotiations were finished, Jeffrey, who had been waiting next to us, approached and led the art dealer out of the lobby.

The moment he was out of the room, suddenly, I casually looked toward him.

Jeffrey: ...

Our eyes met for a mere moment, I felt something lingering.

(He probably doesn’t take to me well. In fact, it’s natural for him to think that way...)

This morning, I visited Lord Elbert early.

I didn’t want him to go through what he did yesterday while changing clothes.

(At the very least, while I’m here, I don’t want Lord Elbert to go through things that caused him pain.)

If it was for that, I didn’t mind being the object of someone’s hate.

Elbert: The world’s most beautiful jewel, he said...

E: ...What is that, I wonder.

Those few words seemed to spill out in a murmur, drawing my attention back to Lord Elbert.

Kate: I... can’t help but be curious about it, too. But it’s surely something very pretty, I would think.

Elbert: ...If you say so, then it might be the case.

His golden locks of hair covered the edge of his eyes, which themselves seemed like jewels, as he looked up, as if imagining what such a gem could look like.

(Something like a 60-carat diamond... is beyond my imagination.)

It could be something so beautiful that it would make everything I ever laid my eyes upon so far seem like a blurry haze.

(If Lord Elbert saw something like that... he might end up not wanting me anymore.)

He might think that his thoughts of me being beautiful, of wanting me, might have been a misunderstanding.

(But, if it would help relieve Lord Elbert’s pain, then maybe that would be for the best...)

(...but, still, I would be lonely, if it really turned out that way.)

I shook my head at the words whispering from the back of my mind.

(What am I thinking?)

(I want Lord Elbert to feel that ‘it’s okay to not have to collect beautiful things anymore.’)

Elbert: ...Kate.

Kate: ! Yes!?

Elbert: ... [surprised]

My voice had come out more loud than I intended, and Lord Elbert widened his eyes in surprise.

Elbert: You had gone quiet, shaking your head, and I thought you might feel unwell...

E: ...Is something the matter?

Even after he had said that he ‘wanted to have me,’ as if I were some object in his eyes,

he had extended that consideration I always knew he had within him to me, as if it were the most normal thing to do... and it hurt my heart.

Kate: Thank you for your concern. I was just thinking about some things.

Elbert: Is that so... then that’s good.

E: ...

E: ...Were you thinking of something, other than me?

Kate: Eh!? Umm... it... does have something with you, too, Lord Elbert.

Elbert: ......I see.

Lord Elbert seemed to accept my answer as it was, and his expression softened a little.

Elbert: We have no more business here in the manor... so let’s return to the castle today.

(I see... it must be because he had grasped the chance to infiltrate into the Bernard Company.)

(So, there is no reason to be here in the manor.)

Kate: Okay, I’ll start preparing then!

If it meant we could get out of here sooner, I had no complaints.

(If it’s Crown Castle, then Lord Elbert will be safe there, and... we probably won’t be together, just the two of us, as often.)

(If so, then I’ll have more time to think a little more calmly about a way to end this cycle of atonement.)

Kate: Well then, if you’ll excuse me. I’ll meet you in a bit.

Elbert: Alright.

Alfons: ......

—— Neutral POV ——

When the door closed behind Kate’s retreating figure, and the sound of her footsteps grew more distant,

Alfons, who had posed as a spectator during the negotiation, opened his mouth to speak.

Alfons: ...What a sore miscalculation on my part.

Elbert: ...What do you mean?

Alfons: I’ve told you time and time again that Kate is not beautiful.

A: So, why did you say something like you wanted to have her again?

Alfons asked out of simple curiosity, and in response, Elbert turned toward the door from which Kate had left.

Elbert: ...I don’t know.

E: Just that... I thought she was, beautiful—

E: —so, I must have her.

Those eyes become clouded over by a dark, heavy obsession.

Alfons: ...Is that so.

Alfons, as if having given up on something, let out a resigned sigh.

Alfons: Well then, shall I prepare something like a glass casket for you?

As if he were looking on at a play while knowing its ending, his chin rested on his hand, his elbow on the armrest of his chair.

—— Kate’s POV ——

We departed from the manor before twilight, and we returned to Crown Castle the next morning.

Victor: My dear Elbert, Alfons, and Kate! How are you enjoying your first breakfast at the castle in a loooong time?

V: Hm... oh? What’s this I see now?

(Ahh... I feel like I know where this is going...)

V: If my eyes do not deceive me, it seems Elbert has become completely smitten with Kate.

Harrison: I’m not sure I’d call that ‘smitten’... It’s more like...

Alfons: Why, of course, Lord Elbie is trying to win her heart over.

(Um, I mean you’re not wrong, but you’re not right either...!)

While retorting in my mind, I glanced beside me.

(This morning, when I finished my routine and left my room, Lord Elbert was there waiting for me,)

(and he invited me to breakfast, together with him...)

And so now, I was sitting next to him, with his eyes on me, as I ate breakfast.

Elbert: ......

(It’s not like this is the first time I’ve felt Lord Elbert’s eyes on me...)

(but it’s the first time he’s looked at me for such a long time... maybe...)

Kate: Um... do I... have a bed head or something...?

Elbert: No... you don’t. You look very pretty.

Kate: T-thank you. Then, can I ask why you are, um...

‘looking right at me,’ is what I wanted to ask, but my words got stuck.

Elbert: ...Because, I want you to think about me as much as possible.

E: ...So that you can’t think about anyone else.

Kate: Ah, uh... I, see...

Elbert: Mn...

All of a sudden, the flavor of the food seemed to dull.

(I know that everything he does is to ‘have me’. I know that...)

(...but, if someone I liked told me this...)

(I would be so happy... I wouldn’t need to hear any reason...)

Trying to hide my reddening cheeks, I cast my eyes down, pretending to be absorbed in cutting the asparagus, but...

Alfons: That’s the spirit, Lord Elbert. The countdown before Kate breaks down is starting.

Kate: !? Alfons...?

He seemed to be egging on Lord Elbert with those words, and I couldn’t help but look up at him.

Where in the world did the Alfons who warned me to stay away from Lord Elbert go?

He was sitting across from Lord Elbert, and he smiled at me as if seeing through me feeling shaken.

Alfons: Unfortunately, it appears you are already beyond the point of no return...

A: So I thought, why not have you entertain me, then, as a spectator, now that it’s come to this?

(...I see, so it’s like that.)

(He means that he won’t warn me, nor will he try to stop Lord Elbert anymore...)

(I ended up ignoring his warnings, even after three times, so I can’t blame him for turning the other way, but this was such a sudden change of attitude that I couldn’t help but feel baffled.)

Elbert: ...Kate. Look here.

Kate: Uh...?

I could hardly say anything before Lord Elbert cupped my cheeks with both his hands, turning my face toward him.

Elbert: ...You, looked at Al longer than you have at me.

Kate: ...That’s not it...

Elbert: It is...

(Um...)

I couldn’t take the power his peerless beauty had on me in close proximity, and so I closed my eyes shut.

Elbert: Why are you closing your eyes... open them, please.

Kate: I-if you step away from me, I will...

Elbert: ...You won’t look at Al?

Kate: I won’t, I won’t anymore, so...

I felt his hands withdraw from my cheek, and I opened my eyes again.

I tried to calm my very quick heartbeat, and when I looked back at those blue eyes,

Elbert: ......

A satisfied smile played on Lord Elbert’s lips, and I thought my breath was going to stop.

(To think I could have time to calmly think if we weren’t together... how naïve that was of me.)

Being sought after like this by Lord Elbert... there was no way I could be calm.

Victor: I have to say, I’m kiiinda getting a little jealous of them. Don’t you agree, Harrison!

Harrison: Hey, don’t grab onto my shoulders. I’m trying to eat here.

The playful exchange from beside me brought me back to my senses.

(The subject... let’s change the subject...!)

Kate: C-come to think of it, are you not going to eat, Lord Elbert?

Elbert: ...? Eat what?

Alfons: That is a bit of a tasteless answer, Elbie. Of course, whatever else could she be referring to but herself?

Kate: No, I meant breakfast.

Elbert: ...Now that you mention it... I had forgotten.

After looking at the breakfast before him for a while,

he pierced an apple slice with his fork, and brought it up to his lips in a graceful motion.

(An apple...)

Kate: Lord Elbert, do the apples today taste good too?

I remembered the day we went out to eat lunch together, and I asked him before I could think.

Elbert: ...Yes. ...It’s delicious.

(‘Delicious’...)

With just that word alone, all of my nervousness and unease disappeared like the waves pulling back to the waters,

leaving my heart filled only with a warm happiness.

(It’s not as though I understand what’s in his heart from those words alone...)

Like that day, he had said the apple was delicious, and I was so happy that a broad smile formed on my lips.

Kate: ...I’m glad.

Elbert: ...

(I got so distracted by him seeking me out, that I almost lost sight of what was important.)

(I... wanted Lord Elbert to smile.)

I reminded myself to not get distracted, and continued eating. When I did, Lord Elbert started to eat as well, little by little, next to me.

Kate: This asparagus is really good. It’s really sweet.

Elbert: ...Mn.

And then, around the time breakfast was going to end peacefully, Victor spoke to me.

Victor: Oh, yes, Kate. Once you’re done eating, could I borrow a bit of your time?

Kate: ...? Yes, sure.

Elbert: ......

—— Time skip ——

Kate: A ‘midterm report’...?

Victor: Yes, that’s right. It seems you’ve been writing a lot of memos as the Fairytale Keeper, so I thought it was about time, you see.

Kate: Alright then. I’ll turn in a formal report.

(...Hm? Wait a minute. The things I can report on...)

After I said yes, I realized that the only topic I could really report on was Lord Elbert.

Kate: Um... actually, I’m sorry, but I don’t really know anyone else aside from Lord Elbert that well...

K: I barely know Alfons as things stand now...

Victor: Yes, that’s fine. You can just write about Lord Elbert then.

V: Also, there is no need to rush, so take things at your own pace. Anyway, that’s all I had to say. Sorry for calling you in so suddenly.

(As Fairytale Keeper, my job to record the ‘sins of the Cursed as was determined by their fates’...)

(...That was the condition for me to return to my normal life.)

‘The Cursed are fated to meet a tragic end’——

I remember hearing that before.

(And, if I remember right, Alfons had said Lord Elbert’s Curse was...)

(‘The Greedy Queen.’)

With a bow, I was about to leave the room, but then I turned back toward Victor.

Victor: What is it?

Kate: ...I’m, a little curious.

Kate: About what Lord Elbert’s tragic fate is, based on the Curse of the Greedy Queen.

Jet black eyes had me apprehended.

For a moment, as if being covered by a veil of night, the room grew silent.

Victor: ‘Never feeling satisfied or fulfilled, he will end up with nothing.’ That is his Cursed fate.

(Never feeling satisfied or fulfilled... he will, end up with nothing...)

Kate: Thank you... for that.

As if swallowing a stone down, my heart grew heavier.

His Cursed fate was like a verdict, that I could do nothing to bring Lord Elbert out of his deep, dark sadness.

Elbert: ...Kate.

When I left the lounge, Lord Elbert was waiting for me, leaning against the windowsill.

Kate: Lord Elbert...! What’s wrong?

Elbert: I was waiting for you. ...Because, I want to spend as much time with you, as possible.

It was as though that was the most natural response in the world, and I felt my heart throb sweetly again.

(This is, to steal my heart... in order to have me.)

(That’s... how it should be... and yet...)

The love I had tried to keep a secret in my heart whispered in my ear, and I couldn’t help but to feel there was more meaning to his words than that.

Elbert: What were you talking about? With Victor.

Kate: About my job as Fairytale Keeper. He wants me to turn in a midterm report.

Elbert: I see......

Kate: What about you, Lord Elbert? What are your plans for today?

Elbert: Nothing, in particular. ...Until the auction, like you, I have a little bit of paperwork to do.

(If I said ‘then let us do our jobs,’ then I would be able to get some time to think alone.)

(We had just returned from the mansion, so I... don’t want to leave Lord Elbert on his own.)

Kate: Then, let’s relax together today. Is there anywhere you’d like to go?

Elbert: ...If I can be with you, then I’d be happy going anywhere.

E: But, it would be nice if we could go... to a place where no other person can come between us.

Lord Elbert stared intently at the lounge door.

(...Is he, seriously worried about me being called by Victor...?)

I could feel something similar to envy in his gaze, and I felt a little excited.

(How nice it would be, if this was a simple jealousy though...)

I put a lid over such thoughts, and instead I thought about what I was going to do from here.

Kate: So, maybe we shouldn’t go out in the city.

K: If possible, I’d like you to be able to have fun, but...

K: ...what do you enjoy doing, Lord Elbert?

Elbert: ...Enjoy...?

He made a face as though he had never even thought about it, and seeing that hurt my heart.

His own happiness, and his own enjoyment——just how much had this person before me deprived himself of those things?

(I would like to spend time somewhere warm, and bright...)

(...to the point there was no room for sadness to slip through the cracks.)

Kate: ...How about, a picnic? I know of a wonderful flower field with very few people.

Elbert: ...A flower field... with very few people...

E: I feel that would make me... want to carry you away, and have you to myself...

E: But, if that’s alright with you, then——let’s go.

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[insertdisc5]

Devlog #16: Answers and Questions

Hello everyone! Welcome to this month’s devlog!

If you just stumbled upon this, I am Adrienne, also known as insertdisc5! I’m the developer, writer, artist, main programmer, etc of the game. The game being In Stars and Time, a timeloop RPG, which is also the next and final game in the START AGAIN series, following START AGAIN: a prologue (available here!).  You can find out more about In Stars and Time here!!! 

LET’S GET TO IT. This month is Q&A: Cohost edition!

“A Q&A again?” Heheh well I don’t have anything to talk about this month ✨ We’re working hard on finalizing the localization! And on porting to consoles! And on secret stuff! You know, the usual!!! Get excited!!! So, Q&A again 💖 And see, I asked questions for Q&As on Twitter. On Tumblr. On Discord. But some new social media platforms have entered the fray. SO.

Welcome to Q&A: Cohost edition. (Follow me on cohost and/or read this post I wrote about why I think cohost is neat teehee) (and follow me on bluesky if you want. I like it way less though. Sorry bluesky)

@ItsMeLilyV asks:

One of the bits of advice that gets tossed around by indie devs is to avoid making RPGs, especially for your first few games, because they tend to be large in scope, difficult to prototype, and easy to underestimate.

Was this ever a fear for you in making START AGAIN, or In Stars and Time? Did you take any special precaution to keep these games within a scope you could handle, and did you learn tricks from START AGAIN that carried over to ISAT when in came to keeping things manageable? Thank you!! ✨

I had no idea that was a piece of advice given, but yep, that makes a lot of sense! Since I didn’t know, I went in blissfully aware, teehee.

I will say that I am familiar with working on big projects from working on comics, and with seeing big webcomic artists always mention to never start with your magnum opus… And I could tell ISAT had the potential to be way bigger than I imagined, which is why I decided to start with creating the prologue to get used to RPGMaker as well as making games. Kind of a pilot of sorts!

Again, thanks to comics, I know to keep my scope pretty small, because even if you keep it small it WILL balloon into something way bigger than you thought. Just for the prologue, I imagined it’d be a 20mn game, and it’s easily a 2-3h one! Keep your scope small!!!

As for tricks, when I catch myself thinking “wow what if I added this cool thing”, I try to always keep in mind those two things: 1. How long will it take to implement (including bug testing), and 2. Does it add something important to the game. I know we always want to add a fishing game, or a fun minigame, but do you Need It. Does it add something substantial to the story, to the Themes. Or are you just adding it because you like fishing games. Which is a valid reason, but also, maybe just make a fishing game instead. You are not the Yakuza series!!!! You are a small indie gamedev!!!! Think about you in 4 months who has to fix all the fishing game bugs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

@stem asks:

how is it to have a piece of art that's basically done (as far as i understand) that you can't share yet? like how do you personally bide the time until it's finally ready to release, or is it not really a challenge to wait? :0c

It’s so weird!!! The game has been done for so long!!! I’m very glad I asked some friends to playtest the game, so I could at least get some feedback before the game is out… In some ways it feels like the game will be done twice: once back when I finished making the game, and once when the game actually comes out. It’s just a very strange experience. Sometimes people tell me they’re excited to find out more about this story beat, or about this character, and a part of me is like… Wait, haven't you played the game? Oh, yeah, it’s not actually out. Guess you’ll find out later.

EDIT: My god. I just checked on my private devlog for when I completed the Alpha of ISAT. It was in August of last year (I lay down on the floor and look at the ceiling) (I still had to finish all the illustrations so really the game was Done Donezo in October but still…)

anon asked:

What role did Armor Games play in creating the final product?

SO MANY THINGS. Here are some of them: support when it comes to porting/marketing/social media/localization, feedback on the game and how to make it better, community guidance, testing support, QA/internal testing… The game couldn’t be the way it is without them.

For more small details, I have a weekly meeting with my producer, Dora! We talk about the game and how everything is going. A couple months back, I also was checking in with the internal QA team fairly often to fix any remaining bugs. They also helped me find ISAT’s additional programmer, Isabella, and she is a godsend because coding is hard. They also take care of communicating with press, finding more opportunities to showcase the game in conventions, talking with the localization/porting teams… I am probably forgetting a thousand little things they did to help out!!! THEY’RE SO GOOD OK

Anon asked:

So obviously the skills/spells/what have you are based off of Rock, Paper, Scissors. Did you design each "type" to be like a certain style? Rock being heavy damage and defense buffs, scissors being speed and quick attacks, like that?

Absolutely! I just went with the obvious. Rock is physical damage, defense focused, Scissors is swords, attack focused, and Paper is magic, mind focused. It was fun to develop a spell system around those! I’m excited for people to find out more about Craft…

@nickshutter asks:

I really loved START AGAIN (streamed it for a small handful of friends) and was super happy to hear about a follow-up! The cast is so much fun and their personalities are really well-balanced—did any of the characters change pretty drastically from their initial conception during development of the game?

I’m so glad you streamed it with friends… I hope you had a good fun time…

And for sure! Isabeau and Mirabelle were pretty set from the get go (himbo and shy wallflower), but Odile started as more of a gentle teacher type, even if I very quickly went the snarky old lady route. Siffrin and Bonnie were harder to pin down– I wasn’t sure how to portray Siffrin’s despair in the prologue, and started showing them more overtly depressed, but I thought it’d be Very Yummy to have them show a happy facade to their friends. And then, for ISAT, I had to figure out what a non-depressed Siffrin would be like, for the first couple acts of the game before the despair sets in. As for Bonnie, I had a lot of trouble figuring out what they’d be like, what kind of kid they were, what their relationship with everyone else would be like, and then I thought about what their past would be like and then their characterization was set in stone. Sometimes you need to figure out One Thing to unlock a character’s brain. I’m very excited for everyone to find out more about each character in ISAT!

@SuperBiasedGary asks:

What games (or other media) lit a fire under you to create your own?

It could be stuff you liked so much it inspired, something you found frustrating because you felt an itch to do it differently, or something that made you realise humans make things and you could be one of them.

I found a lot of indie games inspiring, but I think Umineko might’ve been the one that made me go… Oh, anyone can just make a massive video game narrative. And you can make it very simple, with kinda goofy sprites, and still manage to make an incredibly touching story!

As for frustrating games that lit a fire under me, I think I’d say in general, I found issue with the classic trope of the “main character helps people and doesn’t get anything back”. What often happens in some games is that you help NPCs with their problems, sometimes helping them with very intense, complicated problems! For a very long time! And, in exchange, you get… A cool item? A nice new skill? And that’s it?

I know this might be complicated to implement on a narrative perspective, but I remember playing Persona 5, and your character just went through a very harrowing experience (like, oh, being INTERROGATED AND TORTURED BY THE POLICE) and you help your friends during social links, and they go “thanks for your help! Bye~” like WHAT ABOUT ME. WHAT ABOUT MY PROBLEMS. CAN YOU GIVE ME A HUG

So on a certain level, I wanted a game where instead of the characters around you having problems, the main character also has problems. And is subconsciously screaming “CAN YOU PLEASE NOTICE I HAVE PROBLEMS AND GIVE ME A HUG.” And hopefully, the characters notice. Winks

Hm. I do want to say I wrote most of the prologue/ISAT during the pandemic, and I felt very lonely and not supported. But then guess what. I told my friends about how I felt. And most of them told me they had no idea, and vowed to support me more. And now I’m closer to them. So the moral of this answer is, yeah, it’d be nice if people noticed, but also, you need to tell people when you’re feeling bad. LOOKS AT SIFFRIN

Anon asked:

Is there a song you listen to in order to put yourself in the sasasa/ISAT mindset?

I have a whole playlist baybee. Before you ask: there aren’t any hidden meanings behind those song choices. It’s about the Mood, and also my personal tastes in music I listen to when I need to concentrate. I like songs that go WUB WUB

 In no particular order, here are five random songs I played on repeat when making the prologue:

Future Club (Arcade Version) by Perturbator (in bold because this was THE song I listened to on repeat. I believe I gave it to Lindar for inspiration lol)

Arcades by C2C

Wake Me Up by Para One

The First Wish by DROELOE

Les Enfants du Paradis by World’s End Girlfriend

And here are five random songs I played on repeat for In Stars and Time:

Down by Chloe x Halle

Nonsense Bungaku by Eve

Non-Breathe Oblige by PinocchioP

Gentle Heart by Jamie Paige

Ready For The Floor by Hot Chip

It’s interesting, the songs I listened to for the prologue are generally more heavy and frenetic, while the ones for ISAT are more hopeful… I made sure to listen to more lively songs for ISAT, since that’s the feeling I wanted to give off…

That’s all the questions I have! In other, non related ISAT news, I have started a new project and having a lot of fun. It’s a visual novel this time. I’m hoping to get some screenshots ready in the next few months, but also I’m taking it easy on this one. If it takes years with many breaks in between to get it done, it’s fine. What matters to me right now is the process!

That’s all I have to say for today! Let me know if you have any questions, or if there’s any aspect of the game development struggle you’d like me to talk about! See you next time!!!

AND DON’T FORGET TO WISHLIST THE GAME ON STEAM ALSO IT REALLY HELPS BECAUSE STEAM’S ALGORITHM IS MORE LIKELY TO SHOW OFF GAMES WITH A HIGH AMOUNT OF WISHLISTS THAT’S THE REASON WHY GAME DEVS ALWAYS ASK TO WISHLIST!!! OKAY BYE!!!!