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goldenseresinretriever · 2 months

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Snitches Get Stitches: Chapter 2

Pairing: Jake "Hangman" Seresin x Reader

Part of the San Diego Dogfighters universe

Summary: Jake Seresin, golden boy of the NHL and Captain of the Dallas Stars makes headlines when he unexpectedly signs with newly-formed San Diego Dogfighters. When your future seems at the verge of crashing down, you receive the opportunity of a lifetime to become the team physician for the Dogfighters. You never expected to be working directly with your favorite hockey player. Jake has a secret and you have a job to do. Will he be able to trust you enough to help and will you be able to trust him with your heart?

Series CW: 18+ ONLY, swearing, violence, sports violence, medical stuff, blood probably, angst, fluff, (eventual) smut, forbidden romance, sexual harassment, suggestive language, medical inaccuracies, hockey inaccuracies etc. No use of Y/N.

Word Count: 4.2k

A/N: This is a repost of my completed series, Snitches Get Stitches. It was originally posted in October-November 2023, and was lost when my blog was deleted.

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You lean against the counter in the exam room, giving Jake’s chart one last once-over while you wait for him to come back from the showers. There’s nothing in there detailing any recent injuries and your suspicion increases. You’re still weighing your options when the door opens and Jake saunters in, clad in a simple Dogfighters t-shirt and athletic shorts, his hair still wet from the shower. He heads over to the exam table and pops up onto it, leaning to rest his palms on his knees.

“So Bugs, let’s get to it.” You give him a confused look.

“Bugs?”

“Yup.” He fails to elaborate but his eyes tell you he’s waiting for you to catch on to some joke you’re unaware of.

“I don’t get it. Why’re you calling me Bugs?”

“What’s up, Doc?” He says with a grin in a poor imitation of Bugs Bunny which in turn makes a smile spread over your face, your worry temporarily forgotten. “You work for a hockey team now, Bugs, you need a nickname. So Bugs Bunny, or Bugs for short. Unless you’d rather I call you Bunny.” He waggles his eyebrows at you playfully. You feel your cheeks flush at his teasing. “So, what do you think, Bugs?”

“I think it’s a good thing you’re good at hockey.” You laugh nervously, as your mind comes back to the task at hand. You clasp your hands in front of you to keep them from shaking as you steady yourself for what you’re about to do. “Let’s get down to business shall we?” He nods, settling back on the table. “As I mentioned earlier, today we’re just going to be doing a standard physical, nothing special, but before we start, there’s something I want to talk to you about.” You watch him stiffen, his carefree, flirty demeanor now wary. It makes your heart ache. As a doctor, seeing your patients in pain has always been hard for you, but you trust your ability to alleviate it. To do that for Jake, though, he’d have to trust in you too. “During the introduction, I mentioned that the only way I can fully be of service to you as your physician is if we trust each other enough to be honest with each other.” You swallowed, crossing your arms across your chest, steeling yourself before you brought your eyes to look straight into his stormy ones. “So that being said I need to know, what’re we working with? A groin pull? An MCL pull or tear maybe?”

You had prepared for a lot of different reactions from Jake but the shock on his face wasn’t one of them. His mouth had fallen open and you couldn’t help the way your eyes caught on his slightly chapped pink lips.

“Jake?” You whisper gently like you’re trying not to spook a horse.

It breaks him out of his stupor. “What the fuck?” It sounds like it’s been punched out of his lungs. “How the fuck? How the fuck could you possibly?” His chest is starting to rise and fall rapidly and you push off the counter, his chart abandoned as you place your hands on both of his broad shoulders, crowding his space as you coach him gently.

“Jake, I need you to breathe for me, can you do that? In, and hold, and out.” You guide him through the breathing, his eyes on the floor on yours on the top of his head, watching water droplets slide along the strands until finally, his breathing evens out. You take your hands off his shoulders and drop to squat in front of him, catching his eyes where his head is still hung. “Talk to me, Jake, I can help. Let me help.” You’re not sure when you took his hand in yours as you realize you’re rubbing gentle circles in the skin. Nothing about that is professional but then again neither is accusing a multimillionaire athlete with a fantastic legal team of lying about a serious injury, so you’re 0 for 2.

“How, how did you know?” He whispers, and your heart breaks at the hesitation and fear in his voice. “Who told you? Did my old physician call you? Did my publicist?” His voice gets louder with each question, raising with his frustration. He runs the hand you’re not holding through his wet hair angrily, stray water droplets raining down over you.

You shake your head. “No, no Jake, no one told me, I just… I just knew.” He brings his eyes back to you, accusation shining hotly in them.

“How, Bugs? Explain how you ‘just knew’.”

“I…” you hesitate, embarrassment coloring your cheeks as you realize you’re going to have to explain yourself. You sit back on your heels to get comfortable, letting go of Jake’s hand to fiddle with your own. “So we had this game of sorts at my fellowship during the playoffs. Since if athletes get injured during the playoffs there’s a high chance it doesn’t get revealed until the season’s over, those of us who got together to watch the games made a game out of it. We’re sports doctors, right? So it’s our job to be able to diagnose athletes quickly and efficiently. So we would make notes of potential injuries each game and if we were right and they got announced after the season we’d ‘win’ and basically yeah we’d bet on how valid we thought each other’s diagnoses were.”

You sigh, remembering that night. “It was the Conference Finals, game 4 against the Ducks. You were fighting some defenseman from the Ducks who was getting too pushy with covering you, your legs got tangled and then you went down. Your legs stretched a weird way and then you went off the ice for your penalty and then you were benched for the next half of that period. I knew something was wrong. Everyone else thought your coach just wanted you to cool your head. I guessed either a groin pull or something with your MCL. Then the season ended and nothing came out about the injury. I just couldn’t shake it though, this feeling that I was right.” You shake your head. “Then, you show up here and you’re giving me these weird looks every time I mention the physical and then shuffling around when I mentioned injuries during my speech so I decided to take a chance. I know it’s extremely unprofessional to accuse you of hiding an injury but I meant it when I said it, I care about your health and I just want to help you, Jake, and I can, but only if you’re honest with me.” You let out a huff, waiting for Jake to respond, too nervous to raise your eyes from his sneakers to watch his reaction.

“Well I’ll be damned, Bugs.” You look up at that to see the curiosity and awe in his face. “That’s really something.”

“So,” you put on a small smile. “Are you gonna let me help you, Jake?”

His eyes dim at that. “Bugs, I can’t let you do that.” You can’t help the scowl that contorts your face.

“And why not, Jake? You’d rather throw the rest of your career, and maybe your life, away than ask me for help?” You’re trying to understand, you really are, but he’s just so stubborn and you can’t understand why. “We have time now, we have two months until the start of the season, and if you let me help you, you can play, you can even stay on the first line, but time is not our friend, Jake you need to trust me, sooner rather than later.”

“If I let you help, it goes in my chart, and if it goes in my chart, it goes by Maverick and Simpson. And if that happens, I get benched.”

“What part of, if I help you won’t get benched, was not in English, Seresin?” You’re done being the nice guy.

“You can’t guarantee that. My last physician said I’d have to spend half the next season riding the bench, that I’d be lucky to make the third line.” It occurs to you that maybe this is why he left Dallas.

“Maybe if you let me look at it, I could give you MY opinion?” Irritation creases your face.

“If you look at it, that means scans, that means evidence, I can’t have a trail of medical records leading the higher-ups to this, I could get fired for it.” He thinks he’s being reasonable, you can see it in his eyes, but he’s being anything but. It’s wearing down every one of your nerve endings and it’s not even noon on your first day, you’re going to snap.

“You put me out five hundred bucks!” You shout, seething and you don’t care if he sees anymore. His face shifts into confusion for a second as he processes what you’ve just yelled before he bursts out laughing at your attack out of left field. He throws his head back as he does it, and it’s a deep laugh, from the bottommost parts of his belly, but you can’t enjoy it with how furious you are.

“If it’s the money you’re looking for, Bugsy, I can write you a check right now.” He says, tears leaking from the corners of his eyes. Only later do you wonder when the last time he laughed that hard was.

“Seresin, get the fuck out of my exam room.” Your voice is cold, monotone, exacting, and you’re doing everything you can to maintain your paper-thin composure. At your change in tone, his grin fades as he realizes you don’t find this as funny as he does.

“W-What?” He stammers nervously, confused by your request.

“I said, get the fuck out of my exam room, Seresin.” You stand up and his head follows you holding your eyes with his.

“But what about the physical?”

“I can’t examine a patient that doesn’t want to be examined, and I’m sure as hell not getting fired for lying on a physical report, because then I’ll get fired, and unlike you, Mr. Seresin, I can’t afford to just go somewhere else. So, I’m going to ask you one more time, get the fuck out of my exam room. We can reschedule your physical when you’re ready to be transparent with me. Thank you for your time.” You purse your lips into a straight line as you collect his chart and your laptop from the counter, opening the door, and holding it open for him. He doesn’t move from where he’s perched on the exam table so you heave a sigh and head out yourself, calling back, “I’m going to get my next patient Mr. Seresin, you better be gone when I get back,” before letting the door swing shut behind you as head off to the gym where the players are doing their individual workouts.

“Javy Machado, you’re up.” You call across the gym, as you make your way to the shirtless dark-skinned man at the leg press, you tap his sweaty bare shoulder to get his attention and he pulls out his headphones.

“Sorry, miss, what’s up?”

“You’re up, Machado.” You smile, trying to regain your professionalism after the number Jake did on you. He returns the smile but you can see the confusion in his eyes.

“Already, miss? You’re done with Jake?”

“Mr. Seresin had something come up and had to reschedule. I’m not at liberty to say anything else.” You give him a tight-lipped smile and his brow furrows in concern as he gets up, wiping his face with a towel before putting his t-shirt back on and following you back to the exam room. Thankfully, Jake had left and you take your place at the counter, placing your computer back down and replacing Jake’s file in the rack, removing Javy’s instead.

“Ma’am?” you look up to see Javy fidgeting with his hands where he’s sat on the exam table.

“What’s on your mind, Javy?” You lean against the counter.

“I know you said you’re not at liberty to say but I have to try, okay? Is Jake okay?” Your heart breaks at the pain and helplessness in his voice. He cares so much and suddenly you’re angry at Jake all over again for hurting his best friend this way, your mind drifting back to the conversation you had with Natasha earlier.

“Honestly, Javy? I don’t know.” You shake your head, a tired laugh escaping your lips. “He won’t talk to me, and honestly I was hoping to get some answers from you but it’s becoming increasingly obvious that you’re just as in the dark about what’s going on here.”

“So his physical?”

“I refused to do it until he’s ready to be honest with me. Since the team is still new we don’t have a designated mental health professional, so I’m responsible for all aspects of your health right now and I refuse to submit an incorrect or incomplete report.”

“And and if he doesn’t?”

You shrug, exhausted. “He can’t play without a physical.” You set your jaw. “I know it sounds ridiculous in the grand scheme of things but if I let a sick player on the ice, that would break every code I’m bound to, personal and professional.”

“No,” Javy shakes his head. “You’re right, that’s what he needs. I think it’s been a while since someone told him no, it’ll be good for him.” He gives you a rueful smile and you chuckle.

“You’re a good friend, Javy.”

“So is Jake,” he gives you an apologetic look, “at least he usually is.”

“I’m sure he is.” You say, giving him a sad smile. “I’m sure he is.”

***

The next morning at warmups, you stand beside Maverick as he gives the team a rundown of his plans for the day. You’ll be continuing the process of giving physicals today. You’d gotten through the first line yesterday with the exception of Jake and the rookie goalie, Bob, who you’d be starting with today since the goalie coach was visibly missing from the rink.

“And before we break, Bugs has an announcement for you guys.”

You clap your hands together as twenty pairs of eyes turn to you. “Great job with the physicals yesterday you guys, not only has it been a good chance to familiarize myself with you as patients, but also a great opportunity to get to know you as coworkers. I really appreciate how patient you’ve been with me. I hope that attitude can continue going forward into the season. That being said, I know there has been some grumbling about these physicals since they seem like a waste of time since you get them done every year, but I would like to remind you all that a current physical with me is a requirement to play for the team come October. And since I want these done as soon as possible, if you don’t have a valid physical by the end of next week, I’ll be forced to give my professional opinion to Mav and Beau that you aren’t fit to play for the team.” You could’ve heard a pin drop in the arena. You could feel Jake’s eyes burning holes in your head, but you refused to acknowledge them, refusing to even invite suggestions that he was the cause of the issue. You had patient confidentiality to uphold no matter what other games you had to play to achieve compliance. “Okay, boys that’s it, Bob you’re with me.” The goalie flashes you a thumbs-up before lumbering off to the locker room to shed his equipment. You go on ahead to prep for his physical, stopping by your office to grab your laptop and today’s stack of files.

You almost jump when you push the door to the exam room open to see a sweaty Jake Seresin leaning against the exam table still in his gear and skates, arms crossed over his chest, brows drawn together in a frown. His eyes follow you across the room and you head over to the counter and start getting set up for Bob. Finally, when it becomes clear that he’s not going to volunteer anything, you turn to face him, fighting the urge to cross your arms across your chest and immediately go on the defensive. He’s a patient. He needs your help. He deserves your grace. You repeat in your mind as you force your best professional smile. “Mr. Seresin, what can I do for you?”

He scowls at you, whether it’s for the title or your nonchalant tone, acting like you don’t know why he’s here when in reality you really don’t. You have your suspicions and your hopes, but he could very well be here to inquire how good you are juggling, for example. Not good.

“I told you to call me Jake.”

“Well I told you to be honest with me, so I guess we’re even.” You can’t help it, you turn into an immature child in front of him, your professionalism taking a dive out the nearest window. His glare deepens. “Now if you have something to say to me, get it out because Bob’s scheduled to be here any minute now.”

“He hit the showers.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.” He shifts on his feet. “Listen, we need to talk about your little stipulation.”

“It’s not my stipulation if it’s literally in your contract, now is it?”

“But-“

“No ‘buts,’ Jake, you need a physical to play and I’m not forging one for you. I’m telling you now that no matter what happens, I will give you my 110% to get you back to full health, whether you come to me now or when you’ve run out of options or stubbornness. I don’t care what your last physician told you, I’m telling you, I will do everything in my power to help you, but for this to work, you have to trust me.”

He shakes his head ruefully. “I don’t get it. Why do it like this? Why haven’t you just gone to Mav and told him what’s going on? He’s got a laundry list of things he could hold over my head to get me to comply to a true physical.”

You chuckle at that. “Three reasons, Jake. First, I’m a grown woman and a fully licensed physician, I can solve my own problems and I’m not the kind of girl who’s going to run to my boss every time a patient throws a tantrum. I learn to catch. Second, that would be a violation of your doctor-patient confidentiality since you didn’t consent to me sharing that information with Mav, for example by informing me during your physical and me, in turn, putting it in your chart at which point it becomes privy to Mav and the other higher-ups who have access to your chart. And third, something more important than a breach in doctor-patient confidentiality would be a breach of your trust. When you step into this room, give me the privilege of your time, and submit yourself to my opinions and care, you trust me to do everything within my power to help you and I trust you to give me everything I need to be able to do my job. If I break that trust, for example, by going over your head instead of settling this like adults, then I can’t expect you to hold up your end of the bargain and I can’t be of help to you. Does that make sense?” He’s quiet, turning your words over in his head you assume. Before he can say anything, the door opens and Bob walks in, fully showered, stopping the moment he sees Jake. “Sorry, am I interrupting something?” He asks nervously, eyes shifting from Jake still in full gear to you. You give him a small smile in return.

“Could you just step outside and give us a second, Bob? I’ll just be a minute.” He nods and heads back out, the door swinging shut behind him. Jake is still silent, so you reach into the pocket of your coat and pull out a Ziploc bag, before crossing the room over to Jake. “Take your time and think about what I just said. At the end of the day, we can do this the easy way or the hard way, and while I have a preference, I’ll do what I have to do. In the meantime,” you extend your hand to him, the Ziploc dangling from your hand revealing the dog treats inside. “Tell Pudding I said hi.” Jake’s eyebrows shoot straight up as he looks at you in confusion.

“How did you-?”

You shrug. “I research all my patients, it helps me find possible points of relatability with them and start building a relationship. Plus Jake, you’re a celebrity and that adorable dog is in literally every single one of your Instagram posts. I may be your physician, but I’m not Amish.” You say with a smirk, passing him the bag and patting him on the shoulder. He takes this as his cue to leave and straightens, heading for the door. You can’t help the way your eyes fall to his right leg, trying your best to see through his facade but you have to hand it to him, he’s doing a damn good job hiding the pain.

“Thanks, Bugs.” He says in farewell and you smile, giving him a nod before he disappears and Bob comes in. He and Jake exchange a look and nod as they pass each other.

When the door clicks shut, Bob ambles over to the exam table, seating himself on the edge before facing you, a grim expression on his face. “Everything okay, Bob?” You ask. You’ve only ever seen the rookie goalie smiling.

“How’s his leg?” Bob hesitates before he blurts out the question. Your eyebrows shoot straight up before you can stop them.

“Bob, I’m not at liberty to discuss my other patients.”

“Yeah, I know that but-“

“How do you know about his leg?” You’re dying to know. You know you just talked a big game about trust with Jake but your desire to know more about his condition is winning against your conscience right now. you’re only human, and every part of you wants to know how this rookie goalie who met Jake less than twenty-four hours ago as far you know already knows about his leg when his best friend doesn’t.

Bob rubs the back of his neck. “I have a bachelor’s in kinesiology and I’m a goalie.” He shrugs. “I spend a good portion of my time standing and watching, so I notice things. He hasn’t said anything to me, and he does a good job hiding it, but on the ice, I’d say he’s too preoccupied with the game to keep up appearances as well. But I can tell he shouldn’t be playing on it.” He shakes his head. “There’s no way Mav knows or else he wouldn’t be on the ice, but it’s only a matter of time before he finds out.” You nod along. It turns out Bob Floyd is full of surprises.

You hesitate before you respond. “I know as much as you do, Bob. I noticed it too, but Jake’s straight up refusing my help and I don’t know why. You’re right, Mav has no idea and I can’t break confidentiality to tell him without losing what little if any trust Jake has in me.”

Bob nods, “I had a feeling you knew after your announcement this morning. Did he really refuse the physical?”

“Not exactly, more like he refused an honest one, and I refused to give a dishonest one.”

“You’re really good at your job, Bugs, you know that right?” The unexpected gentle words from the goalie have tears threatening to blur your vision, you shake your head trying to hold them back, lowering your head to focus on a point on the floor.

“If I was good at my job, I wouldn’t be in this position.”

You look up when you feel a soft hand on your shoulder. “Bugs, it’s because you’re good at your job that you’re in this position. Unfortunately, there are plenty of doctors that would have just done what Jake wants, either because they don’t care or they’re too worried about getting sued by a multimillionaire athlete.” A watery chuckle forces its way past your lips. “You’re doing the right thing, even if it doesn’t feel like it right now.” It takes everything not to hurl yourself into his arms and weep because this is what you’ve needed for months. One person telling you that you’re doing the right thing, that you’re good at your job, that what you’re doing matters, and here is someone who’s supposed to be your patient, healing a part of you.

“Thanks, Bob, I think I really needed to hear that.” You say, trying your best not to notice how your voice wobbles.

“Don’t mention it, Bugs, just trying to help.” He wraps an arm around your shoulders and squeezes in a half-hug like he can tell you need it, and you don’t even notice that it doesn’t make you feel queasy.

“Hey, Bob? If the hockey thing doesn’t work out? I think you’d make one hell of a doctor.” He laughs and you giggle as you straighten and grab his chart. “Let’s get started shall we?”

#san diego dogfighters au #san Diego dogfighters #San Diego dogfighters hockey au #tgm hockey au #snitches get stitches // goldenseresinretriever #sgs // goldenseresinretriever #top gun maverick hockey au #top gun maverick #TGM #jake seresin x you #jake seresin x reader #jake hangman seresin x you #jake hangman seresin x reader #jake hangman seresin #jake seresin #no use of y/n

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kickthecan-revolution · 8 days

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I spoke to my colleague at work via FaceTime for about an hour today. Corporate America as a system is rotting - the Retail industry is a mess and AI is going to make it even messier. The corporate side of everything, particularly technology in these huge conglomerations - it's all falling apart. It BARELY works as a system.

I think the real health could potentially be found in small businesses and for sure the trades - if I had kids, I'd be giving the opposite push my parents gave me. Go to a four year college I guess if you want the experience, it's good for some stuff - but the mandatory experience I'd require as a parent is learning a trade. Be an electrician, a dry waller, a plumber, learn how to build a house. become a great sewer or an expert in landscape gardening for your hardy zone. Fix engines. Know how to operate heavy machinery. The CONFIDENCE people have as they master a trade is evident. Apprentice in a few but pick the one that you want to get so good at, you'll do it for a few years. That's where the steady money is, the respect for work, the freedom of schedule. The unions which are fantastic (most of the time.) Maybe photography but everyone's a photographer these days. They are such confidence builders and the demand is outrageous. It's honorable work though defining which work is honorable or not feels a little gross. It’s just work.

I should give this advice to myself.

I spent the rest of the day working on my taxes. I have to fill out these tax forms for long-term disability so sent some stuff to my tax person to see if she could help - she's retiring in November so I was nervous if she would be up for it, I didn't know how complicated it would be. Turns out it's complicated, I pretty much need to get all of the stuff ready for my tax return now. The upside is that I'll essentially know what my taxes will be next year which will be good for me mentally, that's always a super stressful time for me for some reason. She gave me a lot of homework to do which took several hours with my foggy brain, I pretty much did it laying in my bed with food positioned on my chest occasionally like George Castanza eating a block of cheese on the sofa. Food is still a little gross but the nausea from not eating is grosser.

Next week, I don't have a lot of appointments. Bud has her vet appointment for her heart and then she has a dentist appointment the week after that on the same day I get my first post chemo infusion, I have to drop her off in the morning, poor thing. My friend A will be here in the event I'm not back from the appointment, it's just two hours but it's at noon so she can go fetch her if needed, the vet is literally across the water channel, a 5 minute walk. So fortunate. Then we'll know what's going on with her. I hope she's OK.

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tzipporahs-well · 1 month

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Hey it’s @flangstynerd AKA @scinerdwrites but on a new blog. There’s been a lot of changes in my life in the past couple years, and as a result I wanted to make a new blog for jumblr. Several of my friends are on here and I got inspired just to reblog their stuff :D

What’s Changed:

I converted to Reform Judaism from Catholicism in May of this year. I’ve been doing this conversion journey since November 2021, but I didn’t want to announce it to the internet until everything was done and finalized. After 2.5 years, everything is finally official.

I plan to be slightly more active on tumblr than I have been previously. I named my blog based on my Hebrew name (Tzipporah), and how I wish to provide a treasure trove of info.

I would say my ideals of practice are some kind of cross between Conservative and Reform Judaism.

I’ve acquired some chronic illnesses and disabilities over the years. My body has been tough to me for the last couple years.

I have a Jewish podcast that has several eps already now. Our podcast has a tumblr blog, but please dm me for more info for safety reasons.

What is the same?

I’m still Chinese, Hmong, and queer (pronouns: they/she). I’m still culturally Italian as an adoptee. Those are not going anywhere lol.

Still have several varieties of neurodivergence (autism, PTSD, anxiety, psychosis, some kind of unclear mood disorder). My brain likes playing it rough. I have healed a lot of trauma, but the other stuff is still a wild ride.

Still don’t plan to be super duper active as I have a scientist day job. But if I ever see a great jumblr post from one of my friends or otherwise, I’d be happy to reblog.

Still hold a lot of nerdy interests: Disney fandoms (Tangled the Series, Encanto, etc.), classic literature (Shakespeare, 19th century European literature), certain manga/anime (Fullmetal Alchemist and Death Note)

Still can be quite critical of the things I enjoy.

About Me (Jumblr Edition):

Favorite Torah character (first 5 books of Moshe only): Tzipporah (I relate to her so much as someone who came into the tribe and a nontraditional wife; the bridegroom of blood scene is iconic)

Favorite Tanakh character: King Shaul (very relatable for me as I feel like I struggle from similar challenges as him: mental health issues, low self esteem, and paranoia) followed close behind by Esther (she’s a role model for me, and Purim is my favorite holiday)

Favorite Jewish Holiday: Purim (relatable message especially for these dangerous times; also a lot of fun while still being a relatively low stress holiday)

Hamantaschen vs. Latke: hard choice but I have to go with traditional poppyseed hamantaschen. They’re older (~1500s) than the potato latke (late 18th to 19th century) and store better.

Areas of interest: Jewish history, Tanakh discussion, Jewish culture (food especially; I love cooking and baking), Jewish learning (especially more about Jewish life in Israel)

What Jewish value can I improve on? Chesed; I find it hard to always express loving-kindness, and my impatience and temper can get the better of me. I’ve been trying to improve on these for the past two years but 5784 has been especially trying.

What Jewish value is very important to me: Ahavat Yisrael; it is important that we as a people stay united. United we rise, divided we fall. I admire all legitimate Jewish streams (side note: Messianic Judaism is not a Jewish stream)

Important note: If something says #goyim don’t touch, listen and obey! Don’t even try with the antisemitism.

#intro post #re-intro #jumblr #Jewish #what’s up jumblr

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anogete · 8 months

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Hi. Update of random shit in case anyone cares.

The scary test I was stressed over in the fall when I was posting my last fic? It was the CFP (Certified Financial Planner) exam. Yes, I passed it. The designation requires a bachelor's degree, so I had to go back to school to finish my last 10 classes. Then I had to take 7 more classes that are pre-reqs for the exam. Then I spent probably 700 hours attempting to cram everything you could think of related to personal finance (my god, there is a metric shit ton) into my head. The designation also requires 5,000 hours of experience in the planning field (which I thankfully already had). By the time I passed the test, I was no longer proud of the accomplishment, just relieved to have it behind me.

Work was intensely busy in November and December. I got little reading and no writing done.

I have a WIP featuring the Darcy/Rumlow pairing that has been languishing on my computer since 2020. To be honest, I've mosty forgotten what the conflict driving the plot was going to be. I think I was trying to tie it into the events of Wandavision. Took place after the show and had Monica Rambeau and Darcy kinda sorta working together and trying to figure out what, if anything, crossing the barrier that Wanda had thrown up did to them. Of course, Rumlow is alive and scarred and back with the good guys. And also really annoyed that his recent gunshot wound stuck him on desk duty watching the nerds complete their physicals as part of employee onboarding. Darcy doesn't want to have gym class with Rumlow, and Rumlow doesn't want to be there either but he's also kinda into the sassy brunette who tried to sweet talk him into passing her without making her run a mile. In the chapter or two I did write, the banter between Darcy and Rumlow was so fun, so I'd love to go back to it and try to move it along.

I got sucked into reading Draco/Hermione fanfic recently. Blame those damn Snow edits from the latest Hunger Games movie. Guys, I have never read those books or seen the movies, but blonde Tom Blyth is looking like the fanfic Draco of my dreams. How dare. This rabbit hole led to me deciding I needed to write a Dramione piece. It's maybe 6 pages and has gone nowhere even though I have a vague idea of the plot. My muse is struggling.

I found my old folder of all the fic I wrote in the past 20 years. There are still a couple hockey fics I haven't posted to AO3. There are also Anita Blake fics (I was a hardcore Anita/Edward girlie) and Harry Potter fics (don't cancel me but I used to write Snape/Hermione; NO student/teacher stuff though). I think I have an old Doctor Who fic featuring Nine/Rose (yes, I'm a Nine girlie). And a very old Forgotten Realms fic that paired Catti-Brie up with Jarlaxle. Look, I don't know. It was ages ago. With the exception of the hockey fics, I do not think any of these are of the same quality I've posted on AO3, but I've been toying with the idea of trying to clean them up and posting them so more of my work is archived together instead of spread over various fan sites. Does anyone have any interest at all in reading this shit? Like, at all?

I decided 2024 is going to be my book binding era. I bound isthisselfcare's Draco Malfoy and the Mortifying Ordeal of Being in Love a couple weeks ago. I did all the typesetting with the help of some macros. Printed it, folded the signatures (the booklets that comprise the book), sewed them together with waxed linen thread, glued the text block together with some mull, and used chip board and book cloth to make the case. It feels and looks like a book, y'all! I could do a better job with lining the signatures up when punching the holes for sewing and with the measurements on the case, but overall I am pretty proud of it. If anyone is interested, I can link a nice tutorial series on TT and/or post progress pictures I took during my book binding experiment. I have to say, it's exciting to have the ability to put my fav fanfics on my physical bookshelf.

#fanfic #mcu fanfic #darcy x rumlow #anogete #dramione #snamione #hp fanfic #bookbinding

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winterandwords · 1 year

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✍🏻 WRITEBLR INTRO

👋🏻 Hi, I’m Winter. I write dark, emotionally intense, queer fiction with characters to go feral over, inspired by city streets and stormy seas, scars and synchronicity, synesthesia and l’appel du vide.

💬 I'm writing-related ask and tag game friendly and I love reblogging your WIP snippets.

📚 You can read my stories online for free at 🔗winterandwords.com. It's the only place they're available. More information about each book can be found further down this post.

📱 I'm winterandwords on 🔗Bluesky for writing stuff and 🔗TikTok for daily life stuff.

☕ If you enjoy my writing and would like to offer support, you can do that via 🔗Ko-fi. I share my stories for free with the option to donate if you can afford to, so your contributions are super appreciated!

🌈 It always makes happy to encounter queer characters whose identity and narrative aren’t limited to or by their queerness, so I’m writing the characters I want to see in the stories I want to read.

📝 I write for an adult audience, but my stories don’t include explicit sexual content because it’s not my vibe (not a genital in sight here, folks). That said, if you’re uncomfortable with fiction that's frequently dark, sometimes spicy, and often chemically enhanced, I might not be the ideal writer for you to follow. Not everything is for everyone and that’s OK.

🛑 I would prefer minors didn't follow me. I don't follow minors, at least not intentionally. Sometimes it's not obvious and I'm not the age-in-bio police. In the kindest possible way, if you're under eighteen, my writing is not for you and I'd rather engage with other adults only.

💜 My reblogs tend to be writing-related, with a few exceptions. My likes are (mostly) non-writing-related things I get a kick out of, or personal posts that I want to acknowledge but that don’t feel appropriate to reblog.

💌 If, for some reason, you need to contact me outside of the hellsite, you can do that at winterandwords[at]gmail[dot]com

🌊 NOVEMBER BREAKS (complete)

BASICS Genre: Transgressive, literary Audience: Adult Length: Approx 52k words Working title: Project Storm Tags: #november breaks and #project storm More: Story summary

💻 To read online for free, please visit winterandwords.com

VIBE Crime, weather symbolism and questionable life choices. Hurt me, I need to feel alive. Violence is a drug. Also, drugs are drugs. This is a love story like crude oil is a tea. #ThatShouldNotBeHot. Nothing’s real anyway.

INTRO No conscience, no problem. Noah kills for money. Brett hides a life of crime behind a successful career. Officially, they both protect people from people like themselves. Unofficially, everything is falling apart. Until they meet. And it all gets worse.

🗡️ BRIDGE FROM ASHES (complete)

BASICS Genre: Cyberpunk, neon-noir Audience: Adult Length: Approx 70k words Working title: Project Frequency Tags: #bridge from ashes and #project frequency More: Story summary

💻 To read online for free, please visit winterandwords.com

VIBE High-rise buildings and low-life scum. Everything hurts, but not enough to feel good. Yes, that’s a gun in my pocket and no, I’m not pleased to see you. If mind control is real, why do I still have to make decisions?

INTRO Too useful for prison and too dangerous for freedom, underworld assassin Rafael Turner is sentenced to serve in a secretive military agency. When a mission to infiltrate a criminal operation drags his past to the surface and someone he thought he’d lost forever unexpectedly returns, how much is Rafe willing to risk to settle old scores and have a chance at a future he’d given up hoping for?

💀 SPIN CYLINDER (currently posting twice-weekly chapters)

BASICS Genre: Transgressive, literary Audience: Adult Tags: #spin cylinder More: Story summary and tag list

💻 To read online for free, please visit winterandwords.com

Spin Cylinder is the sequel to November Breaks, which can be read here.

POSTING SCHEDULE Spin Cylinder chapters are posting on winterandwords.com twice-weekly on Sundays and Thursdays from 1st September - 19th December 2024.

VIBE Slice of life, but life is drugs and crime. They deserve each other (derogatory). Violence as a substitute for therapy. Very elegantly wasted. My favourite mistake, my weapon of choice, and the parts of ourselves that we can’t leave behind.

INTRO Bound by desire and destruction. Contract killer Noah and white-collar criminal Brett retire from successful but stressful careers to build a home together on a foundation of obsession, shared secrets, and murder. But when they start to feel restless and the downward spiral beckons them deeper, how far will they go to find their way back to themselves?

🔫 NAME FROM NOWHERE (WIP)

BASICS Genre: Cyberpunk, neon-noir Audience: Adult Working title: Project Aria Tags: #name from nowhere and #project aria More: WIP summary

Name From Nowhere is the sequel to Bridge From Ashes.

VIBE Found crime family. Memory is a curse, but it’s also a weapon. What doesn’t kill you makes you deadly. No identity, still a crisis. Life may be more than survival, but survival is a good place to start. Because fuck you, that’s why.

INTRO Imprisoned for a crime or five that she definitely committed, Aria made it through her sentence remembering more than she was supposed to but not enough to make sense. An illicit trade syndicate gives her a fresh start and the acceptance she won’t admit she craves, but her blood family’s betrayal is seared into her mind and revenge is only ever an opportunity away.

📇 TAG INDEX

#the shit in my head | rants, rambles and writer life

#november breaks and #project storm | WIP excerpts, updates etc for November Breaks (working title Project Storm), the prequel to Spin Cylinder

#spin cylinder | WIP excerpts, updates etc for Spin Cylinder, the sequel to November Breaks

#bridge from ashes and #project frequency | WIP excerpts, updates etc for Bridge From Ashes (working title Project Frequency), set in the same world as Name From Nowhere

#name from nowhere and #project aria | WIP excerpts, updates etc for Name From Nowhere (working title Project Aria), set in the same world as Bridge From Ashes

#my writing | snippets and other wordstuff

#your writing | other people’s words

#writeblr tags | tag games and memes

#answered asks | replies to your questions and messages

#writeblr connect | boosting writeblrs for the community

#reblogs | what it says on the tin

#reblogs plus | reblogs with my additions

#tumblr meta | hellsite stuff'n'things

#calmwrimo | info, updates and reblogs for CalmWriMo, a chilled-out November writing and self-care experience

📸 IMAGE CREDITS

Profile picture My own

Header and background Original photo by Yaroslav Shuraev on Pexels, edited under license

November Breaks My own

Bridge From Ashes Original photo by Drew Dizzy Graham on Unsplash, edited under license

Spin Cylinder Original photo by Jeremy Bishop on Unsplash, edited under license

Name from Nowhere Original photo by Wilmer Martinez on Unsplash, edited under license

#writeblr #writeblr intro #writeblr community #writers #writers on tumblr #writers of tumblr #writing community #writer community #writeblr introduction #writer introduction #am writing #writers community #tumblr writers #writer intro #writing a book #indie writers #indie authors

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ourflagmeansgayrights · 4 months

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some of y’all might’ve noticed that like 90% of the shit i reblog lately is tagged just “#tag later” and this is bc my new job has me working three 12hr overnight shifts a week and this leaves me too exhausted to tag things correctly. i started doing this back in like october-november when i was working AND going to school and was basically doing 52 hrs of work a week and i started tagging the wrong characters and shit and ppl would point it out and i was like aw FUCK. so i started tagging shit “tag later” with the idea that when i stopped having to do these hellish 52hr weeks i’d be less exhausted and i could go through that tag and fix everything. however with my new job there isn’t rlly an end in sight, this is just my life now (and fwiw i rlly like it even if my tagging game is slipping, i love my job). i’ve been tagging stuff “tag later” pretty consistently and i’m starting to think that maybe Employed Jess just can’t keep up w the combo of 1. Having A Full Time Job, 2. my insane tagging system, and 3. my obsessive need to see Every Single Post On My Dashboard. so my options are:

give up on the tagging system altogether (genuinely can’t imagine doing this. reblogging stuff with no way to sort it into categories??? the fuck?????? that’s fucking insane to me. i think i’d get so anxious abt my blog being an infinite unsortable jumble of ofmd posts that i’d delete my whole blog in a panic one night)

simplify the tagging system somewhat (somewhat more doable but also the difference between my old tagging system and my new tagging system on different posts would still drive me fucking insane)

try to get over my anxiety about Seeing Every Single Post and just focus on actually tagging things correctly when i go to reblog them (this one is fun bc if i actually manage to conquer this neurosis then i can finally follow back the dozens of rlly cool ofmd blogs that im only not following bc i’m weird abt how i use tumblr. however i think what would be more likely to happen is i would follow everyone and then still be anal abt seeing every post, but now my dash would be functionally infinite and then i’d be wasting even more time scrolling on tumblr trying to catch up on my dashboard during work or when i’m supposed to be sleeping. and then i’d have to unfollow ppl to stop my life from falling into chaos and i’d feel rlly bad)

seriously limit my time on tumblr just in general and try to focus more on other hobbies in my free time (dgmw there would still be a lot of ofmd in my life i’d just be doing more, like, catching up on fics i’ve been meaning to read or something. maybe even writing more of my own fics??? that sounds fake to me but who knows)

just keep doing what i’m doing and maybe i’ll get better at the whole “work life balance” thing and i’ll be less exhausted all the time and i’ll finally be able to catch up on tagging everything

#mine #not gay pirates

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3rddimension · 1 year

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Answering the other anon’s question about Saige and Damien with what I’ve gathered from the internet…heads up, this is long! Sorry in advance!

First, I need to preface this by saying, this information is provided to satisfy curiosity only. This new community being cultivated seems to keep discussions to themselves and leave the Smosh cast alone, which is awesome. When this stuff first happened, Saige stans and Damien stans took sides and started being toxic and spreading rumors and misinformation. Really don’t want that to happen here. Warning done? Cool!

Saige started working at Smosh at the beginning of 2021. Damien stated in a stream that he quickly developed a crush on her. It’s not clear when they first started dating but by November 2021, they had moved in together and confirmed their relationship. They made regular appearances on each other’s streams (clearly in different rooms of the same residence). They did couple’s costumes in Halloween and in his end of the year post for 2021, Damien called Saige the “love of his life”.

Damien bought Saige concert tickets to a show she wanted to see, they would show snippets of their outings (a picnic, the Ren faire), and they travelled to Italy together.

Professionally, SmoshGames partnered with Twitch in the fall of 2020. Saige had started PixelCircus at the same time but it was just beginning so I think she agreed to be hired by Smosh to help with their Twitch content. I think the streams did modestly. There was some drama about how it was clear SmoshGames was just in it for the money versus “normal” streamers being in it for the community. (I think at the end of the day, any monetized channel is in it for the money but that’s another story.) Speculation also arose around doing things live on Twitch causing issues for the cast and scheduling. Regardless, what happened was SmoshGames ended their Twitch streaming in March 2022. Saige started appearing in less content although she still went with Smosh to Vidcon 2022. I don’t think she was as visible as everyone else though. Matt Raub left Smosh in July 2022. This is speculation but I assume he had something to do with hiring Saige so with him gone and the Twitch gone, I think Smosh decided not to continue with Saige. They also hired Angela, Chanse and Arasha at this time.

Saige didn’t get an official departure notice, but people started to notice she wasn’t in Smosh content. She confirmed only in October 2022 that she no longer worked for Smosh. In the meantime, I think her content creation and viewership with PixelCircus picked up. She was going to more tabletop conventions and whatnot. At one point, she had to quarantine from Damien because she caught something at one of them.

Their exact breakup date is not public. Presuming that Damien is a supportive partner, it’s telling that he liked all her IG posts before September 12, 2022 and nothing after. Again, it’s not confirmation of anything but it’s likely they broke up some time after that. Saige also mentioned in her fall 2022 streams that she was moving. (This is much later but they completely unfollowed each other on social media by May 2023.)

When Saige confirmed to her fans that she left Smosh in October 2022, I assume some of her fans thought something was wrong with Smosh. Saige fed the flames by stating in her discord that while she didn’t say anything that “isn’t lawyer approved”, “everything else is a guess or logical conclusion of an intelligent community”. This wasn’t great but what really stirred things in up was a fan making accusations about Smosh being toxic except for Damien in November of 2022 and Saige LIKING that tweet. At this point, I think the bridges were burned and connections severed.

You can leave a company but you probably shouldn’t support someone calling your ex, your former workplace and his coworkers/friends toxic if you want to maintain any sort of relationship. From that point on, I think they just don’t acknowledge each other. Damien and Saige were both at GenCon this year even and promoted completely separate events.

So, that’s what I know. Mostly pulled from Twitter, some Tumblr and IG sleuthing. Saige and Damien did seem happy so I’m sad they didn’t work it out and this is how the relationships, both personal and professional, ended.

It’s not really clear why Damien and Saige’s personal relationship ended. It might seem like it was because she stopped working at Smosh but we’ll never really know. In my personal judgement, from afar and definitely with incomplete information, it does seem like Saige is a bit immature. Maybe a bit of a narcissist. Around this time too, Damien started to experience some breakthroughs and epiphanies about his neurology and mental health, so that may have helped him realize if he was in any unhealthy situations. (Since he’s neurospicy, kind and socially awkward, I think he was probably easy to take advantage of.)

Anyway, hope this answers the previous anon’s question. At the end of the day, I hope both of them continue to improve their mental health and find happiness. It just won’t be with each other.

Dang. That's a long one! Thanks for all the info anon. Also don't forget that this already happened for quite awhile now and all of them already moved on. I can see both of them already happy with the way their chose and i'm happy for them.

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nogoawaytism · 11 months

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I was going to make a post about this anyway, but since it's Nitpick November, this will be my submission.

RWBY's characters have a problem with only interacting in pairs. I.e. Penny interacts a lot with Ruby, Pietro, and Winter, but basically has no meaningful relationship with anyone else. It's like the writers establish "hey, this pair of characters here will interact often because they're partners, this pair will interact often because they are love interests, this pair will interact because they share a story arc, etc". Which is good of course, but it's like they forget to add in those interactions with the other characters. The initial gang of RWBY/JNPR is presented as good friends in a group, but it's just harder to buy when some characters never interact in a meaningful way. Ruby and Weiss have a lot of interaction with Jaune, and Weiss interacts some with Pyrrha, but that's the gist of anything noteworthy. Ruby and Blake are not only on the same team, they're on the titular team that's been established as a sisterhood. Yet, they have almost nothing in the way of interactions until V6. I feel like the writing team has these moments where they realize that some characters and their relationships are underdeveloped, so they write in some stuff for them to fill that quota. That's actually the reason why V5 accidentally became the Freezerburn volume. (What? You mean to tell me it wasn't a freezerburn volume? Nonsense) That's also why Ruby and Blake got these sweet moments in V6 and V8. They're nice, but they fall so flat because their relationship has been so neglected to that point, it's almost pointless. That's why Blake and Jaune and Yang and Ren share these awkward little side hug things when the two groups reunite in V6. Sure, the writing team has clearly realized their mistakes in this area, but that doesn't excuse not doing this from the beginning. It's like the character bloat problem: it creates this annoying itch in my brain that can only be scratched by fan content. You have a cast that represents so many diverse personalities and backstories here, yet you rarely take the time to allow these worldviews bounce off one another. The fans are clawing at the walls, because there's just SO MUCH potential here. Yang and Nora were both abandoned by their mothers? Weiss and Pyrrha both have fame they didn't ask for? That's not even counting stuff like WEISS'S family company being stamped over Adam's motherfucking eyeball, yet Adam never considers going after any Schnee family members? How realistic.

Sure, they've been trying to fix this problem in recent volumes, but in V9 it's actually hit a peak. Because MKEK is so bad at writing romance, Yang and Blake are currently incapable of realistically interacting with other people that aren't themselves. That is such a childish way to write a romantic couple, particularly a romantic couple in the same group of friends. It's been said before, but in real life, you don't just put your other relationships on a standby when you start dating someone. (At least you shouldn't!) I read several fanfics in which Blake and Yang end up with other characters, but guess what? They still have a friendship with each other. Not only that, their friendship is written to be healthier than it is in CANON. You know, the canon where they're making out and all. I guess my point is, even when you have a character in a romantic relationship, they still have such a diverse tapestry of other relationships. Just like in real life, their chemistry with their friends are all very distinct from each other, as well as with their partner. And it's FUN. It's enjoyable reading or watching a story with a variety of relationships presented, because it reflects a beautiful aspect of life. I don't know if I've been very clear with my point, but I just don't get why CRWBY doesn't embrace this principle. It's genuinely so fun to explore and write.

#rwde #my post

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bbutterflies · 9 months

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2023 fanfic year in review

Thank you @kasienda for the tag!!! Been meaning to do this since I wrote so much in 2023!

Fics completed this year:

Oh my god I was writing lovesquare still at the beginning of the year… who was I back then… I finished I’d fall in love with you a thousand times and Meant to be, and then wrote all of Intertwined. I try to hold these all in kind thoughts. I don’t think they’re all that great, personally, but I just hadn’t written as much when I wrote them and never outlined or planned ahead. But I’m happy people liked them!

And then I went off the deep end with adrino:

I’ll give myself a name (something stupid and pretentious)

Falling into place

ways to say I love you

promise me forever

The memories we (don’t) make

Not much of a cat person

The moment I knew (I’d no choice but to love you)

Chemistry with him (for Ninovember 2023! I wrote the entire thing in about a month and a half and posted daily in November. My life took a serious turn for the worse by the end of the month and the comments and support on this fic were so amazing and incredible and kept me going!)

Love you snow much

And then I ended strong with this incredibly devastating (but really good) loveywalker one shot: fine line

Number of words written:

My ao3 stats say I published 329,988 words in 2023 which is insane????? I don’t know how I did that but oh my god it was so fun. I know I wrote way more that I didn’t publish with edits and stuff I scrapped, but I don’t keep track because it would just be way too difficult… at least another 100-150k if I had to guess in cut scenes and wips I haven’t published and stuff I just decided I didn’t like. I don’t know how in the world I managed to write so much while already a sleep-deprived grad student but I definitely don’t regret it. It was a blast.

Your most popular fic:

By hits, Meant to be. Oh man… if I wrote this now I’d do so much differently. I was surprised people loved it so much, and looking back, I’m like oh god… the mistakes… but it’s all a learning process! :) and I learned and grew so much from this one.

By kudos, ways to say I love you, which I didn’t expect to gain any traction at all. It’s just over 600 words, something silly and cute I figured a couple people would like, and it totally blew up.

Your personal fav:

I know I’ve said this before but Falling into place, hands down, is my number one. I know I’ve also said before it’s such a queer, teenage experience, but it is and it means so much to me. Being in high school, being in love with your friends and not even knowing it, aughhh I just love it. I love the way I wrote it. I’m so proud of it still!

Your fav scene:

Oh man… probably the kiss scene in chapter 9 of The moment I knew (I’d no choice but to love you). I wrote it so many times and made so many edits but I ended up so proud of it!

A fic or scene that challenged you:

I had a lot of fun with most of my fics! Having multiple wips on the backburner gave me a way to take a break and work on other stuff when I was having trouble with one and I can usually come back with fresh eyes later and never have too much trouble. But right now, If I hold you too close is challenging emotionally. It’s super personal and self-indulgent, and digging into a lot of my own past and traumas and mistakes to write it has been harder than I thought it would be. I’m excited to keep working on it but it’s been draining at times for sure.

A line of writing you’re proud of:

Oh man, I don’t know how to pick a single line… I’ll have to go with this (even though it’s technically more than one line) from Falling into place:

Adrien’s eyes were locked on Nino’s. He was staring back with something in his expression Adrien couldn’t quite read, something he hadn’t seen before. Or maybe he had but he’d just never been looking.

A comment that touched you:

A few come to mind! I’ve had several people comment on my adrino fics telling me they hadn’t shipped them before but they do after reading, and honestly that’s my number one life goal at the moment haha. I love adrino! I want more people to love them!

I genuinely love all the comments I get. It means so much that people read and love my work. The people who say so specifically always get me teared up… I’ve gotten several on my fluff fics that said they were going through stuff in life and my writing was a bright spot for them, and genuinely that’s insane to me. To touch someone else, to have a positive impact on their life through art…. oughhh it’s just so human and raw and I love it! I’m so honored!

Something that inspired your writing:

I honestly spent a lot of time writing what I personally wanted/needed to read! I needed more domestic adrino fluff, and I wasn’t finding quite what I wanted to read, so… I wrote it for myself! I love rereading them knowing it’s exactly what I want to read, and knowing other people enjoyed them too. I’ve been incredibly selfish in my writing this year (in the best way) and it’s been so inspiring also to see other people want to read it too! The moment I knew (I’d no choice but to love you) was something I didn’t think would garner much attention at all. A rarepair and a super silly trope? I thought whatever, I’m writing it for me, hopefully a couple others like it, and it got so much more positive attention than I thought. I’m so glad!

Your proudest accomplishment (that one scene; finally finishing that one fic; posting your first fic; etc):

Probably figuring out I’ll give myself a name (something stupid and pretentious)! I think I’ve mentioned before I was originally writing it as a lovesquare fic. I wrote it and rewrote it like six times before I thought, no, this should be about Adrien and Nino. And then it just clicked!

Do you have any writing goals for the next year?

I have a secret wip in my docs I’ve talked about a couple times, but it’s a slowburn teenage adrino and I really would love to write all of it! I think I’m struggling to decide exactly what kind of story I want to tell and it’s making it hard to outline and write when I don’t have a clear end direction, but that’s something I’d definitely love to figure out.

And I’d love to get back into lovesquare, too! I have a few wips that I keep putting on the backburner but I really want to dust them off and finish them, and maybe start some new stuff. Writing my loveywalker fic was SO fun (if devastating) and I can’t believe it’s been months since I sat down and wrote lovesquare.

This isn't a direct writing goal, but I'm determined to comment more on fics I read. I love getting comments, and I don't leave them enough on the fics I love, and that's something I really want to change!

Anyone you would like to thank?

@kasienda and @flightfoot I think are tied for commenting on my fics, and it really means so much to have cheerleaders in my inbox!!! Especially writing adrino when readership is lower, it was a huge help to have people reading and commenting and cheering me on <3

@asukiess and @isabugs recently for screaming with me in general about this show! You’ve inspired me to write so much more… I can’t wait to be absolutely unhinged in 2024.

And all my commenters on ao3!! I don’t know everyone’s tumblr and couldn’t possibly tag them all but it means so much every time I get a comment. I wouldn’t be writing as much as I do without the direct support! Thank you!!!

#year in review #my writing #miraculous ladybug

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goldenseresinretriever · 2 months

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Snitches Get Stitches: Chapter 14

Pairing: Jake "Hangman" Seresin x Reader

Part of the San Diego Dogfighters universe

Word Count: 3k

A/N: This is a repost of my completed series, Snitches Get Stitches. It was originally posted in October-November 2023, and was lost when my blog was deleted.

Previous Chapter // Series Masterlist

Zam swoops in before the reporters can ask either of you more questions and helps you escape back into the privacy of the rest of the building. Your shoulders droop with exhaustion after the events of the day and Jake slides an arm around your shoulder that you lean your head against the two of you make your way back to your office so you can pack up and head home together. Home. You wonder when you started thinking of Jake’s place as home, but it feels right. You’ll have to talk it over with him officially, but you wouldn’t be surprised if Jake and Javy have secretly packed up your apartment already and moved all your things into his house. You push open the door to your office, letting a breath out at the promise of privacy with Jake only to be met with the wide smiles of your parents. You jump, surprised as your mom gives an excited cry and wraps you up in her arms.

“Mom?!” You’re surprised, to say the least. You’d almost forgotten that they’d been at the game and you feel your face heat at the idea of them witnessing your little spectacle. Your dad comes around from where he’s been sitting at your desk, holding out a hand to Jake who’s awkwardly standing behind you.

“When my daughter became your fan, I watched her fall in love with hockey and tonight I watched her fall in love with you. Take good care of her, son.” Your eyes are filled with tears all over again as you see Jake shake your father's hand before your dad pulls him in for a hug. The door to your office opens again and Tucker pokes his head in.

“The lady in pink said I’d find you guys here?” He says as his eyes fall on the four of you crowded into the tiny space. “Hey, are you okay?” He’s pushing through the door in a whirlwind, his hair sticking up every which way where you can tell he’s been running his fingers through it. You’re wrapped up in his arms instantly as he checks you over.

“Tuck, I’m okay.” You reassure him as he releases you and takes your arm in his giant hands, looking over the place where Cyclone had grabbed you earlier, running gentle fingers over the tender skin and you wince slightly. Both Tucker and Jake stiffen at your response. You look up at them and it’s like you’re looking at two giant golden retrievers, your guard dogs, eager to stand between you and the world. “Fine, a little less than okay, but I will be, okay? I’m fine now. I’m safe.” Jake relaxes at that but Tucker still looks unconvinced as he rounds on Jake.

“What the hell, man? You think you can just go after my baby sister because she’s a fan?” Tuck’s two years older than Jake but Jake’s aura makes him look like the older one as he stands up straighter as recognition sparks in his eyes.

“You’re the guy who asked me to sign a jersey last year after a game, aren’t you?” Tucker blinks, surprised by the change in topic but Jake’s still connecting dots. “And that’s the jersey hanging over your bed, isn’t it?” He addresses you this time and you nod sheepishly.

“You have it hanging over your BED?!” Tuck exclaims, and you give him a dirty look.

“I have him IN my bed, what’s your point, Tuck?” You snap back and he mock gags, covering his mouth in shock as he stumbles back to lean on your desk as he processes this information. You put your hands on your hips as you approach him, scowling at him. “Jake’s my boyfriend, and you’re just going to have to deal with that. He’s good to me, I feel safe with him, and most of all he loves me and I love him.” Tucker sighs as his eyes drift between you and Jake where he’s standing just behind you, close enough to look like a unit but far enough away to let you fight your own battles.

“Look, I’m happy for you guys, I really am, but Charlie’s going to go BALLISTIC.” You scoff, rolling your eyes.

“Charlie can shove it as far as I’m concerned. I know it’s been a while but you two need to get used to the fact that I have a boyfriend. I’m not a kid anymore.”

Tucker nods slowly, standing up and extending a hand to Jake.“Take care of her, man. If you ever hurt her I swear to god,”

“TUCKER.” You glare at him. Jake shakes his head at you gently.

“I know what you mean, I have two sisters of my own. If someone hurt my little sister I wouldn’t hesitate either. Bugs is lucky to have you in her corner.” Tucker visibly relaxes at that and grips Jake’s hand tightly in his, an unspoken agreement passing between their firm gazes and clasped hands.

When they part Tucker gives you a long look, “I mean it, Charlie’s gonna go BALLISTIC when he sees the game.” You shrug.

“He can take it up with our PR representative. She’s pretty damn good at handling this kind of stuff.” Jake laughs at that.

“She sure is.”

***

“Blueberries.” Jake reads the next item on the list, turning the cart towards the produce section. Until now, you’ve both been resigned to grocery delivery or having Javy or Zam do the grocery shopping so you’re both excited to finally get to do it together. Sure it’s mundane and simple, but that’s what you enjoy most with Jake. Lazy mornings with him cooking breakfast while you read headlines and cheesy horoscopes out to him. Sunny afternoons sprawled across the couch, watching horrible daytime TV and old hockey reruns. Sweet evenings spent walking along the beach behind his house while Pudding plays in the surf. This is just another simple moment with him that you cherish.

You’re scrutinizing the blueberry cartons when you hear Jake’s voice behind you.

“Hey there!” You turn to see Jake crouch down in front of a little boy who’s looking at him nervously.

“Um, do you play hockey, mister?” The kid asks, his hands fiddling with the strings of his hoodie. “You look a lot like my favorite player. His name is Jake.” Your heart aches as you see Jake’s face break out into a huge grin.

“No way? That’s my name too!” The kid’s face glows with awe as his tiny eyes widen, realizing that he has in fact run into his hero at the grocery store.

“Mr. Jake, you’re my favorite!” He blubbers excitedly and Jake chuckles, giving the kid a fist bump as he trembles excitedly. The kid surprises Jake by throwing his arms around Jake’s neck and Jake lets out a startled laugh before hugging him back just as a flustered woman approaches, wringing her hands.

“Oh my goodness, I’m so sorry! I don’t know what got into him!” She apologizes as she goes to extract her son from Jake’s arms as he stands and you watch the realization hit her as she recognizes Jake just as her son excitedly tells her,

“Mommy! Look, it’s Mr. Jake from hockey! It’s really him!” Jake gives her a sheepish smile.

“Sorry about the trouble ma’am. Your son’s a real sweet kid.” She nods, struck silent by shock.

“Mommy, can I get a picture with Mr. Jake?” The little boy tugs on his mom’s sleeve and it shakes her back to the present.

“If that’s okay with him, then it’s okay with me, Danny.” Jake nods and she fiddles for her phone and you watch as Jake pulls Danny close and poses for a photo.

“Thank you, Mr. Jake!” He gives Jake another big hug that Jake returns.

“Thank YOU for being a fan, Danny,” Jake answers, mussing up the little boy’s curls affectionately. He waves as the boy and his mother take their leave before turning back to you. “What’s that face for, Bunny?”

You shake your head. “Nothing, that was just really sweet.” He wraps you in his arms as you deposit the blueberries in the cart.

“You know I always give my fans the best treatment.” He presses a kiss to your temple as you giggle.

“I do.” You concede, snuggling into his arms.

“And my number one fan gets the best treatment.” He whispers as he kisses your cheek.

“The very best. So I’m thinking?” He arches an eyebrow at you. “Maybe two cartons of blueberries?” He laughs, tugging you close and kissing the tip of your nose as you scrunch it up.

“You can have as many cartons of blueberries are you want.”

***

A few days later you’re sitting at the counter in Jake’s corner enjoying a well-deserved day off. Things are starting to pick up at work with the season opener just around the corner in a few weeks, but thankfully things in your personal life have slowed down. Your relationship with Jake was public now and Cyclone has backed off after Jake’s statement, though you’re sure Zam had something to do with it as well. Things are starting to resemble something that could be called normal. Jake’s making blueberry pancakes across from you as you sip your matcha latte when your phone buzzes. You pick it up, your brow furrowing unconsciously as you see your landlord's name flash across the screen.

“What’s up?” Jake asks in response to the furrow in your brow.

“Just my landlord, reminding me that next month's rent is due on Monday.” You haven’t been to your apartment in weeks, since most of your clothes have migrated to Jake’s place over the last month but you’ve yet to discuss you officially moving in with Jake.

“Tell him you’re ending your lease,” he says smoothly as he flips a pancake with annoyingly good precision.

“W-what?” You stutter as Jake looks up at you, surprised.

“Bunny you practically live here as it is, what’s the point in you paying rent for a place you’re not even using?”

“I just, we never officially talked about it. I didn’t want to overstep.” He nods as he deposits the pancake on your

“Well then consider this me officially asking. Bunny, will you move in with me? Well with us.” He turns and reaches down to scratch Pudding’s head where she’s waiting patiently next to him for any scraps he happens to throw her way. “What do you think Princess P? Should we let Mommy move in with us?” She barks at that and you laugh as Jake looks back up, grinning. “What do you say, Bunny? You ready to be a family?” You nod, fighting the tears that are threatening to cloud your vision.

“Yes, I’m ready to be a family, Jake.”

“Well, then why don’t we finish up breakfast and then go get you all packed up? And text your landlord to let him know. If he has any issue with it, I’ll cover whatever fees he asks you to pay for breaking the lease.”

“Jake, you don’t have to do that,” he fixes you with a stern look.

“I don’t have to, but I want to, Bunny.”

“Then you’re going to have to let me cover half the rent for this place or something to make up for it. I can’t stay here for free!”

“Well, you’re going to have to get used to this because I don’t pay rent for this place.” He says with a shrug as he pours more batter into the pan.

“Wait what, why not?”

“I own the house.” Your jaw drops.

“Since when? I thought all of you guys were renting!”

Jake’s cheeks pinken as he admits with a chagrined smile, “I bought it a couple of days after I met you.” You’re gaping at him as he blushes. “Once I knew I could trust you, I knew I wouldn’t be going anywhere anytime soon. And once I saw you in my kitchen for the first time? I knew I never wanted someone else to get the chance to enjoy that view.”

“Jake,” your heart aches at his words. “I still can’t stay here for free!”

“Oh, I never said you would be. Daily rent is payable to both your landlords in the form of kisses and cuddles.” You roll your eyes as he winks at you.

“I wouldn’t be surprised if you and Javy haven’t already packed up my entire apartment and you're just waiting for me to actually say yes.”

“Maybe,” Jake muses, and your eyes widen.

“Jake, you didn’t!” He shrugs.

“Don’t worry, Bunny. Javy did all the heavy lifting, I promise. Zam’s already got Facebook marketplace listings ready for whatever furniture you don’t want, so just let her know what to post.”

“JAKE!” He grins.

“What? I just wanted to make things easier for you when you did decide. Don’t worry, I bubble-wrapped all the things from your shrine extra carefully.” You blush at that. “I was thinking we could update it, what do you say?”

You nod, too embarrassed to speak. “Perfect.” He gives you a wink as he turns back to the stove. The stove in your home. This is home. You’re home.

***

You push open the door from the garage. You and Zam just handed off the last of your old furniture to their new owners. You turned in the key to your apartment and you’re officially moved out. Your finger runs over the house key on your keychain. Before it was just Jake’s spare but now it’s yours. You live here now. The house is eerily quiet as you step into the living room. Pudding is curled up on her giant hockey-puck-shaped bed in a sunbeam and Jake’s nowhere to be seen. You hang your keys on the hook that’s now yours and go looking for him. You find him in what was supposed to be a second guest room. The two of you finally finished setting up the bed in the first one, and Zam’s already clamoring for a girls’ night. This one, however, has been notably empty except for a few boxes that you’ve been storing in there as you finish moving in.

It’s been completely transformed when you walk in and your breath catches at the sight. There's a gorgeous hardwood desk in the center that you’d been looking at wistfully while you and Jake had been furniture shopping last week. It was way out of your price range, though so you’d left it behind but you’d be lying if you said you hadn’t thought about it several times since. Behind it is a luxurious-looking desk chair but what really makes your heart ache is what’s hanging on the wall behind the desk. The coat from your medical school graduation is framed and hanging in the center of the display. Surrounding it are all your certificates and diplomas from school, and sprinkled in are photos of you as well as some of you and Jake together. Tears fill your eyes as you take in the sight.

“What do you think, Bunny? You like it?” You turn to see Jake leaning against the doorframe, a soft smile on his face.

“Jake,” your voice breaks and you throw yourself into his arms. “Thank you, I love it.” You whisper into his chest as he holds you close.

“I figured if I get a shrine then you should get one too. After all, you deserve to be celebrated too.” He presses a soft kiss to the crown of your head.

“And the desk?” You ask, sniffling as you scrub away your tears.

“I saw you eye-fucking it last week and let’s just say I got a little jealous.”

“JAKE!” You exclaim, slapping his chest playfully and he chuckles.

“I know you didn’t say anything because of the price but I wanted to spoil you.”

“Jake, you ALWAYS spoil me.” You pout at him, playfully.

“I’m your boyfriend, it’s my job to spoil you rotten.” He says, leaning down to pepper your face with sweet kisses and you giggle, scrunching up your face against the assault.

“Well, you’re VERY good at your job.” You give him a sultry smile as you hook your fingers in the collar of his shirt. “What do you say I spoil you for change?” His green eyes darken as his grin turns into a smirk.

“Yeah? What do you have in mind, Bunny?”

“I was thinking we could christen my new office.” His eyes are almost fully black as he follows as you pull him inside, kicking the door shut behind him.

“Sounds good to me.”

***

It’s Tuesday and you’re squirming in your seat beside Dr. Bates. You’re wearing Jake’s jersey under your white coat and you can’t help the way your eyes search for him on the ice as the boys warm up. Tonight’s the season opener and you’re lucky enough to have it at home in San Diego. Jake’s in peak condition. His most recent scans have come back showing his knee to be back to normal and your heart is light.

The stands are packed with fans and excitement is buzzing in the air. The boys are all in good spirits except maybe Bradley, but you’re not sure you’ve ever seen him in good spirits. Zam is wearing a butter yellow skirt suit despite the chilly air in the arena. She’s standing to your right, eagle eyes watching the cameras and press. Then a horn goes off and the boys are skating back to the boards for the opening ceremony. Jake tosses himself down on the bench right in front of you, turning to give you a big grin.

“Hey sweet girl, you ready for tonight?” You grin, reaching to grip his glove with your hand.

“I’m ready, are you?”

“Always, Bunny. After all? We’re a team. Everything else will take care of itself.” You share a soft smile as the lights in the arena dim and you swear your love is glowing in the dark because you can see it shining in his eyes as he turns back to his team. He’s going to make one hell of a captain.

#san diego dogfighters au #San Diego dogfighters #San Diego dogfighters hockey au #snitches get stitches // goldenseresinretriever #sgs // goldenseresinretriever #jake hangman seresin x you #jake seresin x you #jake hangman seresin x reader #jake seresin x reader #jake seresin #top gun maverick hockey au #top gun maverick #top gun #TGM #no use of y/n

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velvet-cupcake-games · 1 year

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Made Marion June Development Update: Schedule Edition, Straight Talk

[I decided to post our June dev update early, because I have some difficult things to say, but I hope this will get us all on the same page about what's happened with Made Marion since our Kickstarter.]

Hi everyone! I've decided to check in early with a report on our development schedule and some straight talk on some tough stuff. I hope this will help us all get on the same page and be excited instead of worried about Made Marion's development process.

First of all, thank you all so much for your magnificent patience and concern! This is definitely not how I wanted Made Marion's development to go or how it would have gone if things were still the way they were for our team back when we ran our Kickstarter. We have been seriously kicked in the teeth repeatedly, and I'd like to offer a better explanation and our proposed solutions and revised schedule.

I'm also sorry for the lack of pretty pictures this month! There will be many available very soon when Robin's beta test is ready to go!

The Problems:

1. As of fall 2021, things were going pretty well! We'd just run a beta for Made Marion's prologue and my route outlines were shaping up nicely. Then things began to go wrong. I had some issues at home that took up my attention, and then my darn town flooded. Drat it, ok, lost a couple months, but we can get back on track in 2022...

2. Then 2022, for various reasons was a disaster for pretty much our entire team (I'm only going to talk about my problems here, because those are the ones it is mine to share). It ended up being basically a wash for development. Why wasn't that obvious from our development updates? Because of my brain. I contracted Covid in January of 2022 and a few weeks later, the Long Covid symptoms started. I was near-narcoleptic for several months. It was scary and embarrassing and I didn't know how to talk about it. So I was as positive as I could be. Around May, my body started to recover. I was able to live more normally and I figured that meant I could get back to development.

What I didn't know and couldn't effectively communicate was that the brain fog was still there. I was writing, but not in a straight line. I wrote scenes for all the love interests here and there, scribbled a bunch in my notebooks, but a full, logical route for Robin wasn't happening. And the problem with your brain not working right is that it's very difficult to understand that your brain isn't working right. I thought things were cool! So it appeared that I wasn't being honest about the status of development without me realizing it did or even fully understanding that development wasn't going well. I'm very sorry about that.

3. Around November of 2022 my brain started working better again, but I was demoralized and felt like I'd forgotten how to write. I "eased" myself back into writing with a huge fic, along with finally getting back to putting words together for Robin. I wrote words! Lots of words! Good words! Yeah! We pulled together as a team and got our enhanced demo out, which was a lot of work but was super exciting.

4. Feeling guilty about the wash that was 2022 and excited because of how much verbiage I'd put out, I created an ambitious schedule toward an Early Access release of all the Sherwood routes this fall. It was based on the amount of words I'd been putting out, so I was convinced it was doable. Some of you wrote in to Tumblr with concerns that it was overly ambitious. You were wonderful and primarily concerned for my well-being. You were also correct.

The Solutions:

1. I need to accept that I have a disabling condition that currently has no cure and that, although it has greatly improved since last year, means that I can't always work at my peak capacity. This is super tough for a high achiever with general anxiety. I hate even talking about it, but I want to be as transparent with y'all as I can be.

2. The schedule: I still wish to keep a relatively ambitious target schedule for the remainder of development. I think it is helping us all Get Shit Done(tm). I just need to be a little less ambitious. I still plan to release Early Access this fall and I'm still hoping for October (which was always tentative), but November may be more realistic. It depends on how well my body and mind cooperate over the summer, and on the individual situations of our artists. Early Access will launch with Robin and Will's routes. John is going to need to take more time. It will be worth it, because he will get the full attention and care that his wonderful self deserves.

3. The weekly mini-dev updates: I have started posting mini-dev updates on Mondays on Tumblr. This is the place to go if you want a more granular report of the progress we've been making, and I think they're going to be very helpful for maintaining clarity and helping keep us all on-task.

4. Beta: I have more detailed information about Beta in the Kickstarter version of this update.

Conclusion:

Looking back from here, our original release date estimate from Kickstarter was too ambitious even under ideal circumstances. That was my development inexperience speaking. The rest was a lot of IRL horribleness. However, the gang is back together now, and the game is now, actually, truly, progressing nicely once more. Going forward, I'll be able to post much more concrete progress and I think doing so as I write each route is a better choice than posting a bunch of specific completion dates that we may not meet. You'll be able to see our progress as it happens instead.

Notes and Goodies:

Robin's new expressions are in! I love the way he turned out and Arrapso (a fellow perfectionist, err, high achiever) seems happier with him now as well. Awesome! I will post some previews on Tumblr soon, once I have coded a few of the new expressions into the game client.

John's role-playing choice has been re-configured a bit. I was previously calling it "conflict or compromise," but I was getting stuck on the "conflict" part because I didn't want Marion and John to be fighting all the time if you made those choices. It didn't seem like fun, or particularly in-character for John. I am now calling it "challenge or compromise." Because John is kind and wonderful and protective but is also traumatized and stubborn and overprotective. Sometimes he needs to be challenged, and it won't always lead to an argument. I think this makes for more interesting choices and for John to have more room to be John.

I coded in Will's first use of his genuine smile expression (you get to confront him about his attitude early on in Robin's route) and am happy to report that it is SUPER EFFECTIVE.

For any of you Ren'py devs out there, I continue to evangelize matrixcolor. It's relatively new, but you should absolutely check out what it can do. Previously, I used it to tint our characters a bit so they blended in better with evening and night backgrounds. I also used it to sepia-tone memory sequences. I've now used it to make images slowly disappear via transparency and turn our blood animation green instead of red for... spoiler purposes. It is so easy and flexible, you should absolutely play with it!

I'll be reporting in later this month on our Beta test status!

#made marion #made marion dev update #tough stuff #Brains and nervous systems are super duper weird and modern medicine doesn't have a good handle on them yet

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