#it's no joke

[be-the-glenn-to-my-maggie]

You know what, I want a fic where ikran racing is like a super big thing (think like the Pandoran version of derbies and all that) and is a big part of the culture. Nobody knows what to do with Spider who, being a human, doesn't really stand much of a chance but still seems intent on participating, so they just make him the clan ikran groomer to keep him out of trouble. Enter Neteyam, his best friend Lo'ak's older brother who's on the fast-track to take their father's place as ikran racing champion---or at least he was. Recently he's been having major trouble and things aren't looking good.

Imagine over the next few months Spider, who has like a shit-ton of knowledge about ikrans due to the fact that he's been the caretaker of pretty much all of them since he was knee-high to a grasshopper, helps Neteyam in secret to fix whatever's happening meanwhile they sort of fall in love even though they really shouldn't (for various reasons). Think of all of the themes that could be explored! Think of the angst! Neteyam strikes me as a brooder, so think of all the brooding!

And what's even better? This could also work for all you locorro people out there. Picture, if you will, a Lo'ak who's stuck in the shadow of his father (the greatest ikran racer known to Na'vi) and Neteyam, who seems to be following in the footsteps of their father's greatness. Desperate to prove himself, he comes to Spider for help (let's just say he and his ikran don't really. . . vibe) and Spider agrees despite all of his misgivings and fast-forward through a whole training/bonding/falling in love and finding themselves montage and boom!

How would either of these end? Idk. But man do I want this and if I don't get it I may just have to take matters into my own hands. (For some reason I just dig chill ikran caretaker Spider and high-strung, works himself to the bone to achieve perfection Neteyam or desperate to prove himself despite the fact that both him and his ikran are a mess Lo'ak.)

HOLY FUCK this is my favorite ask of all time. Alright that's it new tag folks: the people need this fic we are begging for it (please explore I have gone back and tagged appropriately).

Hey buddy hey fam I am a huge huge Star Wars fan and you are gonna come in here with your fucking Anakin Skywalker podracing au fic and think I'm not gonna sniff that shit out instantly? Ur crazy dog.

-Spider is like, THE guy for the Omaticaya's ikran care. It's tradition that if you want to participate in ikran racing then you care for ikran for a year before you complete your iknimaya, but Spider has been doing this shit for years longer than anyone else.

-He's like an expert all of them love him, he's like the Hiccup of the Omaticaya he knows all their weak spots, their favorite foods, things they're allergic too, plants that bother them, their favorite places to be scratched: kid could probably ride everyone's ikran even without a rider, but only a select few people have noticed.

-Toruk Makto is the most famous ikran racer because motherfucker rides a toruk. He doesn't participate on toruk anymore after a big legendary competition, and the only person that rivals him is his equally legendary wife (who's better than him it's just toruk that makes Jake better lol)

-Neytiri is as good as she is because unlike a lot of other ikran riders, she does all the care for her ikran alone. It is something she has instilled in her family, but, they are busy. Busy running and leading their clan. So sometimes, Spider steps in. But still the amount of time they dedicate to their ikran compared to others means it's hard not to notice Spider's expertise

-I love the idea of Neytiri being like "yeah no one but me or Spider can touch my ikran, hands off"

-it's a slow build but that equal passion is their connection

-OBSESSED with the idea of the Neteyam and Spider version (getting too many asks about them, we gotta make a ship name poll lol), my bad if I focused heavily on that I might reblog later with the locorro one.

-Neteyam and his ikran bonded but have they bonded. He NEEDS to live up to the level of precision and skill that his parents have with their ikran. Hell, flying is how his parents fell in love! They go on date nights once a week still to fly together, bonded through their love of the sky. He just can't figure out how to translate his thoughts into actions through his ikran. His too wired and anxious all the time, and his ikran's thoughts are always a mile a minute.

-He knows Neytiri only trusts ONE other person to care for her ikran, and that person doesn't have anything to lose either so he goes to Spider and begs him to keep this a secret and to help.

-Without tsaheylu, Spider's bonds with the ikran are formed through a building of trust, care, empathy, and affection through actions. If Neteyam wants to build a bond and he can't trust his mind or his ikran's mind; maybe he can trust actions.

-Oops the bond is formed between Spider and Neteyam too, they slipped and fell into trust, care, and empathy born of actions!

-Neteyam like "how do my parents fall in love flying, flying is stupid and stressful and scary" and then Spider's wrapping his hands around his waist to encourage him to make his movements lighter and he's like 😳

-the jeytiri parallels i'll kill myself frfr

-Lo'ak is still in his year of ikran care pre iknimaya, so he's just around and bitching all the time in the background about how annoying Neteyam is and how perfect he is and Spider is like 😶 yeah he's so perfect 🤭 he's so annoying.

-Kiri has her ikran but would rather die than race, she feels it's inhumane to make the ikran race without asking them first. So she's just bitching the entire time, moping around Neteyam like "why do we have to race, who would even want to?" and Neteyam just REALIZES Spider does.

-He becomes determined to help him be able to race as well. I haven't decided how yet...

Anyways this is how it goes when Spider can:

[felizusnavidad]

if there's anything ironic about all of this, it's that internet hate has driven me from being a casual "oh yeah i think lin manuel miranda is talented" listener to somehow being a hardcore defender for him online.

& that makes me so happy, anon! good to know there are more of us here 🤍

[kiirous]

I made a joke about me only pulling pretty women in Genshin Impact. It doesn't seem like a joke anymore.

Sure, I have Klee and Childe, but Klee is neither a woman nor is she pretty. She is cute and chaotic, but I pulled her before I knew how uncomfortable I am with playing the child characters. And for Childe I wouldn't have allowed anything else.

But the other men that I pulled for: Alhaitham (on two of his banners!), Zhongli, Neuvilette, Scaramouche, Wriothesly, Ayato.... None of them came home. But the women! They do. And man, are they pretty.

It's still funny to me. Not that I have many, but it's funny in comparison, seeing as the only 5 star who is a man and a limited character is Childe. The women in Question are Furina, Navia, Raiden and Xianyun.

[underthetree845]

That feeling when you finally understand a math concept after a few crying breaks and a continuous hour of scourging the internet >>>>> 😭😭 and now I can finally turn in this god forsaken assignment before the 11:59pm due date :D (genuine) (Don't mind me, I'm just having a moment)

[a-dowryofblood]

I want to get excited about the little mermaid but I literally hate pretty much every Disney live action remake disaster.

The good thing is that Ariel already has probably the worst Princess Dress so at least they can't ruin it like they did with Belle.

[viralfrog]

[mayhemchicken-artblog]

in the hour or so it took me to draw this op turned reblogs off

EDIT: reblogs are STAYING OFF. op was right and correct and i have never regretted making a post as much as this one. if you want to reblog my art you can reblog something else from my blog. or commission me, lord knows i deserve financial compensation for the nightmare this post has put me through

[clandestinegardenias]

My therapist just told me my problem is that I need to write more fanfiction.

[vile-images]

[hilarioushitshq]

Not Karl..

[thedankmemes]

[miniaturecatmentality]

guys I just found the greatest video on the internet

[newtid]

in spirit i am a 7th grade boy

[daily-spooky]

[catchymemes]