#it's not a replacement for the real thing and I Know this

[eupheme]

Your best friend Wade who always jokingly flirts with you the way he flirts with everyone - and you hate it because you have a real genuine crush on him and the flirting doesn’t mean anything… does it? It has to take a mutual friend to be like “oh my god he’s in love with you and doesn’t know how to tell you, so that’s why he’s always joking about boners” (please and thank u ilu 😌)

omg avo this kicked my ass, the amount of pining for Wade as he (jokingly, you think) flirts with you would be off the charts 🥲💖 I wrote a little drabble with how that might go, I love you and your ideas - thanks so much for sending this to me!!!

— cause every time we touch (i get this feeling)

best friend!wade wilson x mutant!reader

<1k | flirting, dirty jokes, heaps of pining

Blow job. Leg Spreader. Slippery Nipple. Liquid Viagra. Sex on the Pool Table. Pink Silk Panties.

Each time Wade comes into Sister Margaret’s - which is four or five times a week - he asks for dirtier and more obscure drinks.

"Wishful thinking", he tells you, each time.

Even with the roll of your eyes, you have to admit that it keeps you on your toes. That you look forward to seeing your best friend so often - tamping down the jolt in your belly, night after night.

Reminding yourself that yes, he got you this job, but he's not here to see you.

That this always was his spot.

It had been an easy sell. Used to working overnight shifts - security, back then. After the disaster with Weasel, they had been desperate for a replacement. Wade had come to you immediately, dropping to his knees as you opened the door.

Winning you over with a "you could literally get paid to hang out with me. How is this not a win-win-win? How is this not your dream job?"

And here, you didn't have to hide what or who you were. Reading feelings and intent were a bonus, when a handshake could tell you everything you needed to know. Their feelings spilled as easily as they were written, when you were negotiating contracts.

It also helped in-house. A human lie detector. Able to break up fights, settle arguments. A party trick, when things got slow. The regulars trying to get things past you - tales based in truth spun tall, seeing when you'd catch them.

Wade never plays, but you think that's because you know him so well.

And what seems like a sell, quickly evolves into more. Warping, as days pass. Spending more time with a crush sounds tempting, on paper.

The reality is something else.

Yes, there is a seat saved for him at the bar. Literally saved - his name scrawled across the vinyl, and you still haven't been able to scrub it out. Stopping by at all hours to chit chat.

Teasing you - how he's "so glad he doesn't have to stalk you at your old job anymore". An over-the-top sigh about being relieved that you're safe now - in your new job, surrounded by mercs.

Begging for the best job. Puppy-dog eyes. Fake coupons for favors that would make a sinner blush. Crossing his heart that you could have anything, and he means anything you wanted, if he could only get "that thing involving the murder clowns".

It's enough to make you hope.

Later, at home - in the early hours as you're pulled under. Replaying his comments. The filthy jokes and the shameless flirting - wondering if that's all they were.

Wondering if he'd be waiting for you tomorrow, perched on his stool.

But there's the downfall.

You see him - but you also see him with everyone else.

The charming smiles. Head thrown back in a laugh as he works the room. A friend to all, and as you watch him - perched on the knee of a goddess of mercenary as he yaps away, you can't help the swift current of jealousy.

Of foolishness.

It's enough that you're almost regretting agreeing.

Your mood is sullen, as you wipe down glasses. Trying to ignore the ache when you see him flirt. That realization that the something special you thought he had with you, might just be a part of his personality.

And when Dopinder shuffles from the back with more ice for the chiller behind the bar, it only takes one look at you before he's sighing.

"Not again. Please, I am begging you. I cannot take more of your yearning.”

Your lips quirk. Hadn't realized you'd become that obvious. He'd become your go-to, in the long hours you spend together behind the bar. Pinkie-promising not to say a word - but you always thought you'd had a decent handle on your expressions.

"We don't have to talk about it." Your hands raise, placating, "Just let me yearn in peace. I'll get over it."

"You know that almost half of what DP makes a month is funneled back in here, right?" He gives you a long look, "Before you, I saw him once a week. I had to beg him to come get his paycheck."

Doubt still lingers.

"Doesn't mean anything," You shrug - eyes dropping, as you help him restock.

"You do not think Mr. Pool worships the ground you walk on?"

The intensity of his question has you side-eying him, "I mean... I don't think he sees me that way. He acts the same with me as he does with everyone."

“Sure.” He huffs, leaning against the bartop, just as Wade plunks down in the seat in front of you.

“God, I haven’t been over here in like-,” Wade checks a fake watch, “Fifteen minutes? Feels like longer. Felt like a fucking hour.”

Pivoting back and forth on the stool as he adds, “Is it possible for people to get separation anxiety? Or is that just dogs? Is this how Dogpool feels when I’m gone?”

You just manage to catch the last bit, as Dopinder slips away.

“Exactly the same.”

Tonight, Wade is the first person that sits down in front of you for the game.

A frown, as you peel off your gloves - your barrier, to the outside world.

His own already bare - sliding back-and-forth over his suit-clad thighs. You'd mistake it for nerves, if you weren't so sure Wade had never been nervous in his life.

"What's your story, Wilson?" You ask, "Hope you brought something good."

"Oh, it's a whopper. A real fucking doozy. Apparently, you're not gonna believe it. " His laugh is a little too loud, and your eyes narrow, "But let's give it a whirl, okay?"

There's a flicker, behind the bar. A sideways look towards the bar, where Dopinder's hands cover his face. You don't need to touch him to read the guilt written across his features - the way he almost flinches, under your glare.

You're going to fucking kill him.

The sound of your name brings you back.

“Ready to play?”

Wade's hands rest face-up on the table - an offering. For once in his life he almost looks serious, and it’s enough to bring you back.

A breath - before you align your own. Letting them drop down, skin mapping against skin for the first time.

It floods through you.

The lick of heat that almost feels like a caress. A deep yearn that causes your own heart to twinge, layering with the feeling of need. Desire. Want.

It's familiar. It mirrors something deep inside, something that’s become as much a part of you as flesh and bone.

Oh.

A laugh slips from you, breaking the beat of silence. Relief tinged with disbelief - your smile stretching wide.

“Yeah?” You breathe, softening.

“Yeah.” He laughs, “Thought I was being obvious. But you are pound-cake dense, apparently.”

Hands flipping over, to entwine between yours. Letting that feeling inside him linger, settling warm and comforting over your bare skin.

“But I like that about you.” Another huff of a laugh, “Like all of you, really. Always have.”

It makes your heart ache. In a way that finally feels full, feels right - instead of the near-agony you’ve been bearing for weeks.

Only you could be such an idiot.

thanks for reading! 💖

[monimccoythings]

The Beast Within

Sooo I was trying to write a feral!Logan but this oneshot crossed my mind and I just went along with it. I'll write the feral!logan I want to write when I finish the Wolverine's 1988 run. I think I remember mentioning back in my Retired!Logan headcanons that shall danger come for his family he would be ready and waiting. I wanted to dwell on that.

Summary: You awake only to find yourself and your daughters tied up by some unknown men that wnat to roleplay their wildest and scariest fantasies. Your only hope to survive lies on your husband; a man that gang would soon know they shouldn't have messed with.

Word count: 3087

tags: slight feral!logan, a bit of horror, gn!reader, happy ending, Logan loves his family and will kill for them. A bit ooc Wolverine.

tw: blood, death, attempted rape, non-con elements, kidnapping, swear words.

It had all happened so quickly. One moment you were entering your home with your daughters in tow, and the next, you were being knocked out by some masked men.

When you opened your eyes, you found yourself unable to move, having been tied to a chair, the cords against your wrists and ankles cutting into your blood flow. Yet you didn't fear for your life.

Desperately you looked around for Laura and your youngest child. Silently praying those assholes hadn't reached them. You nearly bursted into tears when you saw Laura tied to the couch, still knocked out like a light, but fine nevertheless; but that relief was short lived when you saw one of the men holding your youngest in his arms.

"Well, look who's finally up! I'm so glad you could join us."

You mentally counted them, There were about five burly men. All masked, to conceal their identities. A shiver ran down your spine when you saw they were all armed.

"Why are you doing this? What do you want?" Your mind went overdrive with the amount of possibilities. Where they from an anti mutant group? Have you been found out?? Logan had made sure your tracks were covered so nobody would know who and what he and the children were. Where they robbers, then?

"Hmm why would people do what they do?" The supposed leader of the group dramatically pondered. "Us humans always worry about norms, etiquette, social behavior, we repress ourselves..." you let the man rant about how our real animal natures were suppressed by society, you didn't care too much for that, too busy finding different ways to free yourself and save your kids.

"So, to answer your question. We do this for fun. Because we can. Because we aren't afraid to show who we really are." You felt the blood in your veins freeze when you felt the disgusting hand come near your crotch. These people were insane. If they were just robbers, you could just let them take whatever they wanted and wait until they left. Material things could be replaced, but his words implied something much much worse for you.

"Please, just take what you want and leave!" You knew you had to do something, anything just to keep those men away from your babies, just buy enough time for Logan to-

Logan! Yes, he would sense something was wrong, and come for you all! You just-

The man licked a long streak from your collarbone to your cheek, his hungry depraved eyes mirroring those of his accomplices.

"Oh, we are going to take it indeed." He licked his lips in anticipation, his fingers lazily undoing the buttons of your shirt. You felt the cold air in your exposed skin.

"Listen. My husband will come soon. You need to leave now that you can-"

He forcefully grabbed your chin, forcing you to look into his empty cold eyes. You didn't find any source of empathy or humanity there. His free hand started to unbutton your jeans.

"Then, he can watch."

The lights went out after that, startling the man and his crew. Some let out a few curses.

"Shut the fuck up! It's just the fucking lights!" The man bellowed towards the rest of the group. He signaled with his head towards the most dimwitted looking member. "Beta! Go check the fuse box!"

The man obediently complied with his orders. The fact that you could barely see, didn't do well for your nerves. They could strike any moment.

Minutes passed and the dude nicknamed 'Beta' hadn't returned. Which was weird, because the fusebox was in a small broom closet at the other end of the cabin, and the cabin wasn't really Charles Xavier's Mansion. You could tell that the man giving the orders was already starting to lose his patience.

"Dumb fuck, can't do shit by himself..." He mumbled. "Gamma! Go tell that stupid bitch to hurry the fuck up!" He turned towards you a terrifying smile on his face "I just can't wait to see the look in your eyes when we break you and the kids."

That was enough for you to lunge towards him, parental instincts activating like crazy. Unfortunately there was little you could do with your limited mobility. He grabbed a fistful of your hair and pulled painfully, you felt tears burning at the corner of your eyes but you refused to give him the pleasure of watching you cry.

"Listen here you little slut. Only I get to bite, only I get to kick, and when I'm done with you l, you'll be-"

"Alpha, he ain't here!" 'Gamma''s voice could be heard from the hall. That only fueled 'Alpha's' impatience.

"I ask him a simple task and he fucking gets lost! Look better or none of you are having a piece of this whore!!"

His eyes turned back to yours. A hungry, wicked look crossed them. His mouth went towards your neck, as much as you tried to resist you couldn't pull away from his strong hold in your hair. You let out a scream when he bit you, praying that he hadn't bitten hard enough to draw blood, but that only seemed to encourage him, just as his tongues was lapping at the bruising bitemark you heard someone scream from the end of the hall.

"OH FUCKING SHIT!!"

*bang*

*bang*

And then nothing. That seemed to alert the group, the leader, Alpha, immediately pulling away and releasing you from his vice grip.

"The fuck was that!?" He commanded "Beta! Gamma! Answer now!"

No answer.

With your heart in your throat you quickly took deep breaths, trying to recover a sense of calmness and normalcy that you knew was long lost. But you had to. Your kids were still unconscious you needed to protect them.

"Sigma. Get out and secure the perimeter."

'Sigma' didn't look very convinced but as long as he released your little baby girl everything would be fine. You could practically feel the hesitation in him as he lowered your daughter onto the nearest armchair and quietly exited the living room, gun in hand.

"Whatever the fuck is trying to screw with us, is going to learn this 'pack' doesn't go down easily."

Minutes passed of eery silence, each minute felt like agonizing hours. You thought it would never end until you heard a blood curling scream followed by the sound of glass breaking and something splattering against the walls.

That's when you heard it. An animalistic snarl. It was faint, but it was definitely there and filled your heart with hope like no other. This time you were surely going to cry from joy.

He had arrived.

You were saved.

Tears fell freely down your cheeks, you couldn't help the broad smile that formed in your features.

"Oh God he's here. He's here..." You repeated over and over like a mantra, as if you couldn't quite believe it.

"The fuck is this bitch talking about??" He backhanded you so roughly that you thought you saw stars, the sharp pain in your cheek was nothing compared to the huge relief you were feeling.

'Alpha' turned towards the last remaining member of his 'pack'. "What are you waiting for, dumbass?? Lock the fucking doors!"

The other guy didn't move for a few seconds, obviously scared at this dramatic turn of events. The tension between him and the leader was so thick you could cut it with a knife. You were sure he was wondering why he should risk his life for a plan that was going awry with each passing second. Maybe he was also considering shooting down 'Alpha' and be done with it.

Before he has time to live up that fantasy, he found himself looking straight at the end of 'Alpha's' Magnum. This was no longer a fun game for them. It had stopped being a game when 'Beta' hadn't returned.

"Lock. The fucking. Doors." 'Alpha's' voice was unusually quiet and full of promises of a world of pain if he disobeyed his orders. There was no other choice but to follow his lead, as always.

With trembling hands, the poor guy put the safety lock as best as he could. Once done, he breathed a sigh of relief, believing him safe.

Until a massive arm, broke through the glass of the door and grabbed him by the neck, lifting him a couple of inches off the ground. The man kicked and struggled, trying in vain to reach for his gun. When the hand released him, he hurriedly went for it before he was grabbed again but was stopped by three metal claws piercing through his skull, killing him instantly. The man fell to the ground like a ragdoll.

"Shit." 'Alpha' whispered, feeling for the first time that night true fear. "Shitshitshitshitshit!" His panic grew as he saw the killer of his 'packmate' kick the doors open as if it was nothing.

You couldn't see him, but you knew he was pissed like he had never been before.

*BANG*

*BANG*

*BANG*

'Alpha' fired bullet after bullet towards him. A single shot would have taken down a grown man. But this wasn't a normal man. Oh no, they had just gone after the family of one of the most dangerous men to ever live.

Logan slowly stepped into the moonlight and your breath caught in your throat. From his beard, to his clothes, blood was dripping, but not from the gunshotwounds, those were already healed. His sharp teeth, bared in a feral snarl were stained with blood, having used them to tear through flesh and bone. The icing on the cake were his eyes, those eyes that looked at you with so much tenderness and lust, that crinkled with happiness when they saw his little ones run towards him; they were just empty, void of any rational thought.

You shuddered at his primal display.

The man known just as 'Alpha' took a step back. For all his talk about how he didn't repress from his animal urges and how he was an alpha male, he found himself small and insignificant in the presence of a real animal. Every adamantium coated bone in Logan's body exuded dominance, power, strength; it was overwhelming. 'Alpha' knew if he didn't play his cards well he would end up like the rest of his 'pack' or worse.

Cold sweat formed on your forehead when the gun pointed towards you.

"One more step, and I'll shoot." His voice was deadly quiet, but you could hear the fear hidden behind all that bravado.

Logan stopped, a low growl building up in his throat. His eyes quickly darted towards yours and returned towards his enemy. You knew you had little time, as long as the 'Alpha' kept his eyes locked on Logan's; he wouldn't dare shoot you unless he wanted to have the slowest and most painful death there was, he just needed to think for a better plan of action, which gave you a wonderful opportunity to ponder about how you were going to get out safely, you had to act fast enough to give Logan some margin.

As quiet as you could muster, you started balancing yourself from side to side. Each second that passed increased your chances of ending up with a hole in your chest. A couple of swings more and-

"AAAAAAAAARRRGGGGHHH"

'Alpha' roared in pain when Laura out of nowhere, sunk her teeth and bone claws on his leg. Unfortunately, as a reflex, he accidentally pressed the trigger.

You would never be sure about how you got so lucky that night, as you fell sideways with the chair, the bullet barely grazed your shoulder. You had evaded death miraculously and there was a new hole in the wall.

Logan didn't waste his opportunity. Before 'Alpha' had the chance to kick Laura off his leg, he freed his claws and with a swift motion slashed his yugular vein with two clean cuts.

The blood splattered on his chest and face like a fountain. Alpha's body went limp and fell lifeless to the side. You let out a sigh in relief, as tears ran again freely down your cheeks.

The nightmare was over.

But not for Logan.

For a couple of seconds, he just stood there, breathing heavily, and coated in blood. Laura stood at his feet, looking at him apprehensively, as if sensing there was something wrong.

"Logan." You called for him reassuringly, but he didn't even look at you. You doubted he had heard you. His fists were clenching and unclenching, his knuckles were turning white. The veins in his arms bulged against the swollen muscles. His breaths came out in short puffs of air. Whatever he was feeling right now, you needed to pull him out of it.

His head turned sharply when he heard your youngest stirring. He looked at his bloodied hands and finally looked at you with a mixture of panic and dread. He didn't know what to do.

"Laura. Laura, sweetheart, untie me." She snapped out from her stupor and quickly tore through the cords, freeing you at last. You massaged your wrists, hoping to return your bloodflow back to normal. As much as you'd have loved to rest there was no time to lose.

You understood Logan's fear. It was already painful enough for him to have Laura watching him when he was like that, he didn't want the other one to go through the same trauma.

You quickly rushed towads him and he flinched back, still in shock. "It is okay, Logan. We're safe. You saved us. I'm going to take the girls to her room okay? He barely nodded, his eyes unfocused. You would deal with him later, now the kids were a top priority.

You would heal together, later.

⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘

He had scrubbed the floors clean until he thought he was going to pass out from the chemicals. He had hidden the bodies or whatever remained of them in a place where he knew nobody would ever look for them. Not that they'd be missed, he supposed.

It scared him how good he was at this. He should have gotten used to it by now, after all, he was the best at what he did, and what he did wasn't very nice.

It had been to good to be true. A sweet dream before waking up and facing reality. He had gotten sloppy and his family had paid the price. He didn't even know what those had wanted, nor did he care. One single look through the window and all sense of rationality had left his brain leaving only the animal that deep down he knew he was.

What would you think of him now? Did you regret marrying him? Knowing what he did was one thing, but actually witnessing it was another. What had transpired tonight would surely define your relationship for the rest of your lives

And Laura? He had worked so hard to erase the violence and trauma of her earlier years, to give her a normal childhood with a family. And he had just pulled her back.

He buried his face in his hands, grabbing chunks of his hair. He was a monster, an animal, a mindless-

He jumped and turned around with a snarl on his face and his claws ready when he felt a hand on his shoulder. Logan's tense muscles visibly relaxed when he saw it was just you, but he was still restless.

"Logan, it's okay. It's just me" You knew exactly was was crossing his mind. After years of knowing each other, you knew that the legendary Wolverine, the man that would take his secrets to his grave, could be easily read like an open book if you got close enough.

"Honey, this is not your fault. You came and saved us. We're here because of you." You couldn't bear the thought of him punishing himself over something that wasn't even his fault to begin with.

"I should have been there with you. I should have arrived sooner, then you wouldn't have to go through-" His gruff voice sounded so broken, so terrified, there was nothing you wanted more than to cradle him in your arms. "I'm a monster." He quietly whispered.

"You are not a monster. You. Are. Not. Not a monster, neither an animal." You cupped his face in your hands, looking into his eyes sternly.

"I-I lost control. I saw you there tied up and I lost it. Laura saw it, and our little-"

"Shhhh... They are alright. They are okay in their bedroom. Laura knew you were protecting us, she has always known." You ran your fingers through his wild hair, marvelling at how his tufts stayed up no matter the situation.

You gently guide him back into the house. You don't look at the toppled chair, or the hole in the wall, or the mountain of cleaning products. Neither of you wanted to think about that. When you reached the bedroom, you undressed each other, taking your time, memorizing every string of clothing. Your discarded attires formed a dirty and bloody pile in the corner.

Tenderly, like treating a very vulnerable creature, you cleaned his face, chest and hands with a towel. You could feel the raw power stored in that massive torso and hands, you knew what he could do with those. But you also knew how careful and soft he was around you and the girls.

You put on your comfiest pijamas and got ready for bed, leaving the mess of that night for the next day. Before he climbed in with you, Logan stopped and takes a step back.

"What's wrong?" You asked.

"Wait here." He hurriedly exited your bedroom, leaving you alone, baffled at his behavior. The last thing you wanted was to be left alone after that night.

Your initial confusion gave way to tenderness when you saw him return holding a daugther on each of his thick arms. Laura blinked groggily at you, annoyed at having been woken up from her slumber. You quickly craddled her in your arms, kissing her forehead.

Holding your youngest baby girl to his chest he got in bed, his free arm pulling you and Laura closer, trapping you in an embrace. He kissed your head, his soft breaths along with those of your daughters were enough to lull you to sleep.

You were safe.

Nobody was going to get you.

He would make sure of that.

[luna-azzurra]

Do you have any tips for writing a character who hates their appearance? Like say this character has the ability to look like a normal human but their non-human form is quote on quote "ugly/hideous" (The creature's related to the character have the same issue/The self-hatred is taught by the elders and/or parents from the society the creature belongs to.)

"Conceal it, don't feel it, don't let it show" kind of thing. And the parents/elders aren't mean about it, they just know their real appearance isn't appealing.

Human appearance = Confidence, more self-acceptance, more self-love, etc.

Your character could feel stuck between these two identities, on one side, they’ve got their non-human form that’s been labeled as “ugly” or “hideous,” and on the other side, they have their human form, which is praised and makes them feel confident, even if it’s not their real self. It’s like a mask they wear to feel better about themselves, but deep down, there’s still this lingering feeling of “I’m not good enough as I am.”

You can show how this affects their self-esteem and mental state. Every time they look human, they feel a little bit stronger, a little more accepted, but it’s not really them. Maybe they start to rely on the human form so much that they feel lost without it, like they don’t know how to be themselves anymore. That confidence they get when they look human? It’s a bit fake, like wearing an outfit that makes you feel good for a while, but you know once you take it off, all the insecurities come rushing back.

They want to accept their real form, but every time they look at themselves, all they can hear are the voices from their parents and society telling them they’re not good enough, that they need to hide this part of themselves. You can show moments where they’re afraid to let anyone see their true form, even people they care about. They fear rejection, judgment, or that people will think they’re as hideous as they’ve been told their whole life. But, over time, maybe they start to question these ideas. Maybe someone in their life (a friend, a love interest, or even themselves) shows them that their real form isn’t as bad as they’ve been taught to believe. You could even explore little moments where they realize they don’t hate certain parts of their non-human self as much as they thought they did. It’s a slow, difficult process of learning to accept themselves, and it won’t be a quick fix. They might still struggle with the urge to hide behind their human form, but eventually, they start to see that their real self isn’t something they need to conceal or be ashamed of.

Example / The Mirror Scene

The bathroom mirror was fogged up from the hot water, but they could still see the outline of their face. Human face. The one that made them feel like they belonged. A quick wipe of the glass revealed familiar features: smooth skin, symmetrical eyes, a nose that didn’t make anyone flinch. A face they didn’t have to hide.

For a second, they almost smiled. Almost. This face was easier, so much easier, than the real one. The one they kept buried beneath layers of “normal.” With a shaky breath, they glanced at the door, locked, thankfully. No one could see them here. It was safe. It was just them and the mirror. But safety wasn’t comfort, not when the thing they feared most was their own reflection.

The familiar sensation of their skin shifting began, like a wave of pins and needles. Slowly, painfully, the human features faded, replaced by the reality underneath. Their jawline thickened, rough, uneven skin stretching across sharp ridges. The soft eyes they’d once admired in the mirror were now wide and strange, glowing faintly in the dim light.

They hated it. They hated that every time they looked like this, all they could hear was their mom’s voice, calm but full of pity. “You’ll feel better if you just stay in human form. It’s easier.”

Easier. Sure. Except it wasn’t them.

They leaned closer to the mirror, inspecting their real face. “Hideous,” they whispered, like they could get ahead of the insult before someone else could throw it at them. The word hung in the air, suffocating, familiar. They’d heard it a thousand times, from elders, parents, even their friends when they didn’t think anyone was listening.

[just-dreaming-marvel]

Missing

MAIN MASTERLIST / MARVEL MASTERLIST

Tony Stark x GN!Reader

Word Count: 3,600ish

Summary: Pepper breaks up with Tony and you're there to pick up the pieces.

Warning: heartbreak, kidnapping, torture, PTSD

Notes: I don't know why I'm so nervous, but I hope that people enjoy this one.

You stood outside the lab, staring at Tony through the glass wall. Your fingers tapped nervously on your arm as you watched Tony design yet another new suit. Pepper had broken up with Tony three weeks ago and in that time Tony had left the lab twice and built seven new suits. And you seemed to be the only one worried about him.

Making your way down to the common floor, you noted how most of the Team was there, doing various things. You made your way to the kitchen area and began pulling items needed to make Tony some lunch.

“Oh! Are you making food?” Sam asked excitedly, plopping onto one of the kitchen barstools. 

“Not for you,” you responded, still working. “Tony needs to eat.”

“Is Stark still locked away in his lab?” Steve asked from the couch.

“Yes, and I’m getting beyond worried.”

“No need,” Natasha chimed in. “This is just what he does.”

“That doesn’t make it right.” You grabbed a bag and began stuffing various cold drinks in it to restock Tony’s fridge in his lab.

“He’s an adult, Y/N,” Sam said. “Somethings he has to figure out on his own.”

“You know, for heroes, you sure give up on helping your supposed friends real fast.” 

You grabbed the lunch for Tony and your bag before heading back to the lab. You weren’t happy to see that Tony hadn’t moved in the time that you’d been gone. Pressing your hand to the pad near the door, you silently prayed that JARVIS would let you in like the AI would often do despite Tony’s wishes. You let out a breath of relief when you heard the door unlock. You pushed it open and headed for Tony’s workbench.

“Brought lunch,” you told him. “I also brought some water bottles and your other healthy drinks to restock your fridge. I saw you were running low.”

Tony didn’t respond, eyes focused on the screens in front of you. You let yourself study his face for a moment. The deep purple bags under his eyes. The sunken features of his face, even his shoulders and arms were proof of the lost weight. 

You set the food down at his desk and headed to the fridge. You sighed when you noticed that it was full but with beer. Tony used to despise beer, saying that it was too cheap for him. Now it was practically all he was consuming. Quickly, you replaced the beer with the drinks you brought. You grabbed a trash can and began to pick up the lab, scattered with cans and bottles.

“You don’t need to do that,” Tony’s voice was hoarse from barely using it since getting heartbroken by Pepper.

“I know,” you responded with a small smile, “but I want to.”

Tony went back to work and you went back to cleaning. After you had finished what you could, you noticed that he hadn’t eaten yet.

“Tony,” you sighed, coming over. “You need to eat.” The closer you got, the more you realized that he smelled. “You also need a shower.”

“I’m busy,” he grumbled.

“I’m not leaving until you eat and get in the shower.”

“Y/N—“

“I’m not joking, Stark. Eat the food before I force you to.”

You glared at Tony until he let out a grunt and reached for the food. At first, his bites were small and slow but quickly grew larger and faster. It relieved you to see him finally eat something.

“Now, you need a shower,” you said once he was finished devouring the food. “I’ll run and get you clothes.”

“Fine,” he huffed. He got up from his stool and headed over to the bathroom attached to his lab. “But be quick.”

~~~

This became the routine for the next two and a half weeks. You even had begun helping Tony with his new suits, silently passing him tools as he needed. You never pushed him to talk, you knew that Tony needed lots of time to come to grips with everything. Especially since he and Pepper had been together for years. Tony had stopped arguing with you about you helping him, and that actually concerned you. 

Tony playfully argued with you all the time before the breakup. You secretly enjoyed it due to the crush you had been harboring since you met the man. You were okay with being friends though, understanding that he couldn’t reciprocate your feelings. Even now, you were just okay with taking care of him. Someone had to and you were the only one willing to step up. Which is why you weren’t happy at all when Steve requested you for a mission.

“Seriously, no one else can do this, Steve?” You questioned, trying to keep your anger at bay.

“Missions are on a rotation and you're next. It’s only fair—“

“Fair?! Tony’s not going on missions.”

“Tony’s never been in the rotation. He goes as he pleases. It’s your turn.”

“I need to stay and look after Tony.”

Steve sighed. “Tony can look after himself. I know you’re worried about him, Y/N, but he’s fine. This is just what he does.”

“That doesn’t make it okay! Steve—“

“I expect you packed and out of here by morning. That’s an order.”

You clenched your jaw and stepped back from Steve. “Whatever you saw, Captain.”

You turned and stormed off, leaving Steve feeling a little guilty for ordering you like that. Heading straight for the kitchen, you began to cook multiple meals that you could have ready for Tony to warm up. In the little time you had until your mission, you needed to make sure that Tony was going to be taken care of while you were gone.

After a long afternoon of cooking, you brought up many containers of food to Tony’s lab. By the looks of it, he was working on yet another new suit and hadn’t taken care of himself today.

“Hi, Tony,” you greeted as you entered the lab and headed straight for his fridge. You quickly began placing the containers of food in the appliance. 

Tony briefly glanced up to see what you were doing before focusing back on his work. He wasn’t going to admit it, but he was beginning to enjoy the company you gave him and the care you took with him. Even though parts of him still wanted to be left alone.

“Okay,” you said as you closed the freezer and headed towards Tony. “You’re all stocked up. You should have enough meals for lunch and dinner for about two weeks.”

Tony’s brows furrowed as he allowed himself to fully look at you for the first time in weeks. “What are you talking about?”

You tried not to be too excited that Tony was giving you his full attention. “I’m leaving on a mission in the morning.” You saw something flash in Tony’s eyes. Sadness? Disappointment? “Steve isn’t giving me a choice. But I made your meals and they’re all in here so that you don’t have to leave the lab.”

“Right,” Tony muttered as he went back to focusing on his work.

“Tony,” you came closer to him, hoping to regain his attention. “I need you to take care of yourself when I’m gone. Eat, drink, bathe. Maybe even leave the lab.” Tony didn’t respond. “Just… try. One thing, okay? For me?” He still gave you nothing, causing you to sigh. “Baby steps. Nothing big.” You leaned over and kissed his bearded cheek. “I’ll hurry back. I promise.”

You quickly took your leave. Tony sat completely still, thinking about your lips against his bearded cheek. He didn’t want you to leave, to go on a mission without him being in the right mindset. What if something went wrong and he wasn’t able to help you? You shouldn’t be going on this mission. Not now. But he didn’t have enough energy to go and fight Steve on this. Not that the Captain would listen anyway.

~~~

The morning came all too soon for you and Tony. Tony watched from the security feed, you pack up and head out on the quinjet. He had showered and stood by the door of the lab before you flew off, wanting to head down and wish you luck, but he couldn’t get himself to open the lab door. Once you were gone, Tony went back to his worktable and continued to work. His stomach growled around lunch time and your voice rang his his head. 

“I need you to take care of yourself when I’m gone. Eat, drink, bathe.”

With a sigh, Tony pushed himself to stand and headed for the fridge. He grabbed the first container he could, his thumb brushed over something attached to the top of it. It was a sticky note with a handwritten message from you.

I’m so proud of you.

Glancing around the fridge, he noticed all the containers you had left had notes on them. He couldn’t help but let a small smile tug at his lips.

Tony suddenly became excited for meals, hopeful for what your messages said. It wasn’t long before he began using one of the glass walls to place the sticky notes on. He began to shower every day and eat and drink regularly. He made sure that most of what he drank was water, not just alcohol and coffee. Tony kept a screen up with your mission updates. 

About a week and a half into your mission, you updated the Team that you’d been home in two days. Tony grew excited that you were coming back, having missed you so much that his thoughts of Pepper had died down. 

Without even thinking about it, Tony left the lab and headed to his room. He caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror. His hair was longer than normal and a full beard had grown over his face. The purple bags under his eyes were large. Before he knew it, Tony had one of his suits trim his hair, he had shaved his beard, leaving his normal goatee, and had fallen asleep in his bed. 

When Tony woke up, he had slept for almost twenty-four hours and there was a renewed energy in him. Tony got up, got ready for the day, and immediately got to cleaning up his lab. He needed to make sure that everything looked good for your homecoming. Once everything was cleaned up, Tony decided to go out and pick you up some flowers.

The moment Tony stepped out of the flower shop with multiple bouquets in his arms, he could sense that something was wrong. His senses were on high alert as he began heading back to the Tower but he wasn’t prepared to be pulled into an alley and quickly drugged up. The flowers went everywhere as he fought until the darkness took hold.

~~~

The mission was an easy success, but you were still a bundle of nerves as you landed at the Tower. Had Tony taken care of himself? And if he hadn’t, was he still alive? Steve was waiting for you as you headed out of the quinjet.

“Well done,” he complimented. “You—“

“Where’s Tony?” You quickly cut him off. “Is he alright?”

“Uh, yeah, I guess.”

“You guess? Seriously, Steve, Tony is your teammate.” You shook your head in disappointment. “I’m going to check on him.”

“We need to debrief—“

“Screw you, Rogers. The debrief can wait.”

~~~

The lab was empty when you arrived. You were surprised by that and by how clean it was. 

“Tony?” You called, making sure he wasn’t in there. 

You turned and froze when you caught sight of all your notes hanging up on one of the glass walls. Your heart swelled at the thought of Tony enjoying the notes and taking care of himself by eating the meals you had prepared. Though, you still checked the fridge and freezer to make sure he had eaten them. You wanted to cry at the sight of the empty appliance. 

“JARVIS,” you summoned the AI, “where’s Tony?”

“I’m afraid something has happened,” the AI responded and your heart quickly dropped.

“What’s going on?”

“Mr. Stark seems to be missing.”

“Missing? What the hell are you talking about?”

“He left the Tower early this morning to get flowers but he never returned. I haven’t been able to track him besides the street camera footage that I have just received and pulled up on the screen.”

You quickly sat down on Tony’s stool and watched the video footage. Tony exited the flower shop with too many bouquets in his arms. You couldn’t help but briefly wonder who they were for. A selfish part of you hoped that they had been meant for you. Before you could continue thinking about the flowers, you watched as Tony was pulled into an alley. He fought against the large men grabbing at him but he had been drugged. As soon as Tony fainted, he was placed in a large, blacked-out SUV.

“JARVIS, I need to know where that SUV went,” you demanded.

“I have mapped out the route,” JARVIS stated as a map appeared on the screen, outlining the route of the SUV.

“Ready the quinjet with the directions. I’ve got to go find Tony.”

~~~

Tony gasped as his head was pulled out of the large tub of ice water. His lungs were burning as were his throat and nose. His arms were tied behind his back and there were two men continually dunking him in and out of the ice water. Those who had taken him had yet to tell him what they wanted, and he expected that they would have their fun with him first.

With another push into the water, Tony tried to keep his thoughts away from the panic and PTSD surge. He had this happen to him before, years ago in that cave that changed him. Instead of focusing on the pain — past and current— Tony tried his best to focus on you. He hoped that you had gotten home from your mission safely. And that, maybe, you had noticed he was gone. The other members of the Team seemed to not notice him, especially since Pepper broke his heart. Tony could only hope that you would take notice.

~~~

“Hey!” Steve yelled as he jogged toward you. “JARVIS just told me you were taking the quinjet.”

“Yes,” you responded, curtly. You were headed for the weapons room.

“I need it for—“

“Don’t care. Because of you and the other idiots we consider a Team, Tony is missing.”

“Missing? Tony’s not missing. He’s probably just at a bar or—“

You stopped suddenly, causing Steve to almost trip over his feet. “JARVIS can pull up the footage for you. Tony was kidnapped and I’m going to go recuse him.”

“Alone? You can’t—“

“SHUT UP ROGERS! I don’t want to hear it. You and the others are—UGH! If Tony didn’t need help right now, I would be kicking all of you to the curb! Tony is our teammate! Our friend! And because you all believed this was ‘normal’ or that Tony just needed time, he was kidnapped! I am going to go rescue him and bring him home. Alone. The rest of you better stay out of my way when I get back.”

~~~

Tony was strapped to a metal table, bloodied and bruised, grateful to be away from the ice water. He was fighting to stay conscious despite the gunshots that began to sound outside the room he was held in. The door to the room kicked open with a bang and Tony clenched his eyes shut, trying to prepare for whatever may happen next.

You at to bite back the tears that threatened to spill at the sight of Tony, tied up and completely helpless. You took the steps needed to be near him, hands hovering above him, not knowing if he wanted your touch.

“Tony,” you breathed out. “Tony, honey, it’s me.”

Slowly, Tony’s eyes opened and fell on you. He almost didn’t believe you were real. But the concern in your watery eyes told him that you were very real.

“Oh, Tony,” you whispered, hands still hovering above him.

“I left the lab,” he rasped.

You couldn’t help but laugh. “This is not what I meant when I said you needed to leave the lab.” You took out your knife from your belt and cut the straps from him. “Can you stand?”

“I think so,” Tony nodded as he sat up. He stood off the table, only for his knees to buckle. 

You quickly caught him. “I’ve got you. Let’s get out of here.”

~~~

The Team was waiting for you with the med-bay team when the quinjet landed. The med-bay team rushed on the quinjet and pushed Tony out on a stretcher. You were right beside Tony, his hand holding yours like it was what was keeping him alive. Natasha and Steve stepped up and opened their mouths but you glared at them before they could say anything.

You made sure the med-bay room was shut before the Team could join. Tony didn’t need those fake friends right now. The doctors quickly gave him a check-up, medicine, and bandages before leaving him and you in the room. Tony fell asleep with you still holding his hand. It was a few hours before you decided to pull the Team into the common room.

“I have never been so disappointed in my life,” your voice was scarily cold and firm. “For a team of heroes, you are truly the worst friends ever.”

“In our defense,” Sam bravely spoke up, “Tony doesn’t handle things well and—“

“I swear, if I hear another shitty excuse from any of you, I will seriously harm every single one of you. I don’t want to hear any of it. Tony has done nothing but help eat of you. Given you money, a place to stay, new suits, and weapons. Tony buys the groceries and makes sure that each of our favorite things makes the list. He has things fixed before we can complain, whether he does it himself or calls someone in. Tony is always looking out for each one of us. But when he needed us, none of you cared. None of you were there.”

“Y/N,” Bruce timidly spoke up. “We’re so sorry.”

“I am not the one you need to apologize to. Tony needs—“

“Excuse the interruption,” JARVIS said, “but it seems that Mr. Stark is in distress.”

You were running to the med-bay before JARVIS could even finish. The others were right behind you but stopped outside the room, allowing you to go in alone. Tony was thrashing around on the bed, sweat making his skin shiny. He was crying out as you came to his side. Your hands found his face, holding it carefully.

“Tony, wake up,” you said. “I’m right here, you’re safe. Wake up.”

Tony gasped awake, eyes frantically searching the room until they found you. “Y/N.”

“I’m here.” His arms wrapped around you and pulled you into him. “I’m right here.”

The Team watched, extremely guilt-ridden. Tony deserved better from them, you were right. But this wasn’t going to be an easy fix by any means.

~~~

The nightmares happened every night. You ended up sleeping on a chair next to him, even when he was released from the med-bay and allowed back to his room. By every morning, you would be lying in Tony’s bed, his arms wrapped around you tightly after you tried to soothe his nightmares.

The Team had started shaping up and caring again. Though, you were more skeptical about it than Tony. Tony quickly forgave, wanting to put it all in the past. You continued to glare and ignore the others when Tony wasn’t around.

The two of you would spend your days in the lab, working together on whatever Tony wanted to. The two of you would talk about everything besides Tony’s break-up and his kidnapping. You knew he should talk about it, but you weren’t going to pressure him.

“Every time I close my eyes, I get thrown back there,” Tony admitted one night after you had helped him wake up from his nightmare. Your head was resting on his chest as he held you close. “I get thrown back to that cave… even after all these years…”

“I’m so sorry, Tony,” you told him. “I wish I could take those memories from you.”

“I don’t wish them upon anyone.” He kissed your head. “Thank you, Y/N.”

You looked up at him. “For what?”

“For always being there for me. For forcing me to take care of myself.”

“Tony, I will always do that for you.”

“You know, I was on my way back with flowers before I was taken.”

“Yeah?”

“They were for you.”

“Really?”

“I was trying to thank you and I guess I should have figured out a different plan.”

“I would have loved them… mainly because they were from you.”

“Y/N… you were the only reason I survived those hours… I had hope that you’d find me.”

“I will always find you, Tony… however you may be missing.”

Tony’s gaze fell to your lips. You got the hint and leaned up and kissed him. He held you closer as the two of you kissed. When you separated, he kissed your forehead.

“So… when can I expect replacement flowers?”

Tony laughed. “How about tomorrow night?”

“It’s a date."

[writtenonreceipts]

Rowaelin Month Day Twenty-One: Performers @rowaelinscourt

Month Masterlist // Hey Neighbor Masterlist // Ao3 Link

It fits the performers prompt because they’re putting on a show of lunacy.  <3

Warnings: just minor medical talk and references to bad hospital experiences right at the beginning, ~2.9k words

Hey, Lucky

Aelin could count on one hand the number of times she’d been in a hospital. 

Two when a grandparent passed away and one when she’d broken her arm.  She hated each and every experience.  Her grandparents’ passing had been traumatic to say the least.  All she could remember was seeing her Papa hooked up to an assortment of tubes and wires to the point that she couldn’t even see his face.  Gran was supposed to come right back out after a surgery to fix her heart…only she never had.  And when Aelin had broken her arm, she’d had to have surgery to resent the limb properly, the meds had made her sick and she couldn’t leave the hospital for over a week. None of the doctors had been nice, either. 

So, yes.  Aelin hated the hospital.

But here she was, sitting in an uncomfortable vinyl chair in a stuffy waiting room and nerves keyed up.  Her knee wouldn’t stop bouncing and she’d already destroyed a paper pamphlet citing the signs of diabetes and the importance of knowing preventative measures.  She’d found it on the side table beside her and, needing something to do with her hands, had folded and refolded the thick cardstock.  It was the only thing keeping her sane.

“You’ve got to eat some real food,” Elide said softly from next to her. 

The pamphlet was plucked from her fingers replaced with a sandwich.

Aelin looked at the sandwich.  It was a simple peanut butter and jelly, but it wasn’t hospital food.  Her stomach roiled.

“I’m fine,” she said.

Elide didn’t look impressed by that statement, but she said nothing else and settled in her seat.

Setting the sandwich aside, Aelin grabbed her phone instead.  She looked at the text thread she’d started with Iona after the news thread of the avalanche.  With the weather and the Whitethorns living one town over, Aelin insisted that she go to the hospital at least until the roads cleared up more.

<<Aelin: No update yet, but the rest of the crew is here now.

She couldn’t help but send the message.  Maybe it would have been better if she had actual news.  It was the nerves, the need to do something.  And she supposed if she were a mother separated from her child she would want to know anything and everything going on.

She leaned back in her seat and took inventory of the waiting room.  It had calmed down quite a bit over the last few hours.  There were other family’s waiting for news, the bad weather brought in many other injuries and messes.  The rest of Rowan’s search and rescue team had also come now that the missing hiker was found.

Fenrys had also been injured, but not as extensive as what happened with Rowan.  He hadn’t been caught in the torrent of snow and ice, only enough to cut off his retreat back down the mountain.  After everything settled, Fenrys had gone in search of Rowan and the lost hiker.  He’d found them and even managed to get a signal for a rescue.  He was being treated for dehydration and a dislocated shoulder.

“Aelin,” Elide insisted, grabbing the phone from her fingers, “I am your emotional support human right now and I need you to eat.”

“You sure you’re not just here for a certain ranger?” Aelin quipped.

Elide glared. “Moral support.”

“Right.”

“I will force that sandwich down your throat,” Elide said.  For such a tiny unassuming woman, she was a bit feral.

Aelin took a savage bite.  It was a tasty sandwich; raspberry jam, creamy peanut butter, and fresh white bread.  Perfection.  She wouldn’t let Elide know though.

After forcing half the sandwich down, Aelin couldn’t stomach any more.  Elide seemed satisfied with her efforts and didn’t say anything when Aelin tucked the remains back in its baggie.

It was another few minutes until a doctor stepped through a pair of double doors that led to the operating rooms.  Aelin leapt from her seat, just as she’d done for every doctor or nurse that stepped through the doors.

“Whitethorn and Moonbeam?” The doctor asked, already walking towards the assembled rangers.

The captain, Gavriel, stepped forward. “How are my men?”

“Fenrys is on an IV and doing fine, he just needs rest,” the doctor said, she smiled reassuringly, “already asking to be released.”

Only a little bit of tension eased out of the rangers.

“And Rowan?” Gavriel pressed.

The doctor, Yrene Towers by her nametag, offered a strained smile that made Aelin’s stomach clench.

“He’s out of surgery,” Dr. Towers said slowly. “His left leg was broken in two different places and needed some titanium screws.  He’s got three broken ribs, a concussion, and severely sprained wrist.  Honestly…he was extremely lucky.”

“But he’s okay?” Aelin asked, “He’ll wake up?”

Dr. Towers’s smile softened, which under normal circumstances would have made Aelin’s hackles rise. “Yes.  Probably within the next hour or so.  You can see him now if you’d like.  He’s in his recovery room now.”

Aelin’s entire body vibrated and it took all her effort not to bolt down the hall.  She was overstepping, she knew she was overstepping.  Right?  Why was she so concerned, so insistent about seeing Rowan?  Especially when his friends and colleagues were right here.  It was ridiculous.

And then, much to her surprise, Lorcan was the one to speak up. “Go make sure Whitethorn doesn’t break out of here prematurely.  We’ll give Moonbeam hell.”

The rangers already started filing towards the ER where Fenrys was holed up.  Lorcan narrowed his eyes slightly while glaring down at Aelin.  She raised an eyebrow in challenge to which the larger man merely shrugged before following his squad mates.

Dr. Towers rested a hand on Aelin’s shoulder. “I’ll take you to Rowan’s room.”

Nodding, Aelin glanced over her shoulder to where Elide still sitting in her chair.  Her friend only waved her on with an encouraging hand.

“Thanks,” Aelin said, turning back to Dr. Towers. “That would be great.”

It was a quick walk to the elevator and trip up to the third floor.  The entire time Dr. Towers continued to talk to Aelin about Rowan.

“I’ve done a lot of trauma work and have seen a lot of tragedies,” Dr. Towers said, “and even though his injuries sound bad, he’s going to be alright.  Just a bit of recovery and physical therapy with his leg.  It’ll be a long road but he can make it.”

They came to a stop outside a room with the blinds drawn up to look in on the sleeping body.  Aelin’s heart skipped a beat as she took in Rowan’s prone form.  Thankfully, he didn’t have a respirator or any tube actually inside his mouth.  His warm skin had taken on an ashen pallor and his usually styled hair lay flat over his brow.  One of his legs was suspended in a sling and wrapped in white bandages.  His injured wrist was also wrapped in similar bandages and resting on his chest.

“Thank-you, doctor,” Aelin said.  She smiled at the woman. “Really.”

“Of course, just let a nurse know if you need anything find a nurse, find me, and we can help.”

With another hand on her shoulder, Dr. Towers headed down the hall to the nurse’s station.

Aelin looked back into Rowan’s room.  Just the sight of him lying there had panic racing through her body.  She didn’t know what to make of all the emotions she was feeling. She didn’t know where they’d come from or what to do with them.  She knew…well she knew she’d been attracted to Rowan for a while now.  Known she’d been willing to flirt with him and see if something more that could happen between them. 

With a steadying breath, Aelin pushed open the door.

The was strangely quiet.  Even with the soft hum of the equipment and steady beat of the heart monitor, there was a stillness occupying the space.  She hated it.

Aelin crossed the room to take a seat in the chair beside the bed.  She debated taking a picture of Rowa to send to Iona.  In the end she decided there was something distinctly creepy about that so she settled on an over simplified text. 

<<Aelin: Sitting with Rowan.  Doctor said he’s doing well.  He’ll need physical therapy for his broken leg and he has a concussion, but she said it’s all going to be fine.

>>Iona: Thank-you dear.  The storms blown over so the roads should be cleared by tomorrow.

That was good. 

Aelin sighed, tucking her phone back into her purse.  She leaned forward, hand hovering over his own.  The action felt strangely intimate.  She withdrew her hand and looked at Rowan’s face.

He appeared peaceful.  Even with the gash on his forehead and the bandage trying to cover the worst of it.  He was paler than Aelin was used to him looking too.  Really, this entire situation was a nightmare.  She wanted to wake up.  Desperately.  She wanted him to wake up and scowl at her.  Wake up and roll his eyes.  Wake up and just be him.

“I am so mad at you right now,” she muttered.  She sat back in her seat scowling at his unconscious form. “You were supposed to be careful and not get hurt, Rowan.  Nox Owen said he’d be dead if it wasn’t for you.  You risked your life up on that mountain and scared the shit out of me.  You’ll be lucky if I forgive you.”

His heart monitor beeped in response.

“And you know, that’s not even the worst of it,” she continued.  Now she was picking at her nails, too upset to actually look at him.  “What’s worse is that I thought there was something more between us.  I thought…Did you even eat those cookies I baked you?”

She glared at him now, still disgruntled over how flat his hair was lying.  It made him look so much younger, soft.  She had to swallow down the lump forming in her throat.

Emotions were the worst.

The literal worst.

Taking a long breath, Aelin straightened.  She leaned forward again and did her best to channel the old Aelin.  The irritated Aelin.  The Aelin who used to have dance parties at two in the morning to rile Rowan up.  The Aelin who tried to trick Rowan into drinking a RedBull.

“You are going to wake-up and you are going to take me on a date,” she said. “Do you hear me buzzard?”

To emphasize her words, she took Rowan’s hand and entwined their fingers.  There was nothing to indicate that he could hear her.  Nothing to indicate he was waking up soon.  Which was fine.  She knew Dr. Towers had said he was fine, that he’d only just gotten out of surgery and wasn’t going to wake up for a while yet.  But she was Aelin Galathynius and she was not patient.

She squeezed his fingers.

“You’re an idiot if you think you can get rid of me that easily,” she added.  Sniffing, she rose from her chair.  She may as well let the other rangers filter through to see their friend.

She tried to pull her fingers from his grasp only to find that his grasp had tightened.  Aelin froze.

“Rowan?” She nearly fell over herself to lean back over Rowan. “Rowan Whitethorn.”

His eyelids fluttered and he took a deep, rattling breath.  His mouth twitched, trying to form a word. 

“Buzzard?”

And then his eyes opened.  Glazed and unfocused but open.  It took a few blinks and then those gloriously green eyes landed on her.

“Fireheart.”

Tears that Aelin hadn’t even known were brewing started pouring down her cheeks.  She raised her other hand to cup his cheek, feeling the stubble there.

“Hi,” she whispered, staring into his eyes, eyes she hadn’t realized she’d missed so much.

“What—” Rowan began, but he tried to move too much of his body at once and broke off with a wince and a curse. “Damned hell, what happened?”

“Lay back and stop moving,” she ordered him.  “You were in an accident; do you remember that?”

Groaning, Rowan actually listened and leaned back into his pillow. “Yeah, yeah I remember.  Nox?  Fen?  They okay?”

“They’re fine,” Aelin assured him.  She ran her thumb over his jaw, refusing to stop touching him for at least a little longer. “Nox had some frostbite and scrapes.  I think I heard he broke his ankle.  Fenrys just got some bruises, he somehow missed the worst of it.”

Rowan’s eyes shuddered closed.  He took a few breaths before looking at Aelin again.

“And are you okay?”

Aelin just stared at him. “I’m not the one who fell down a mountain.  Y’know, I think you’ve got me beat now for doing stupid things with this.”

“I was saving a life, doesn’t count.” His mouth quirked up into a half smile.

Aelin didn’t have a good response to that.  Because really, all she wanted to do was kiss him and call him a fool.

He must have seen something in her eyes because he tried to move.  She had no idea what his intentions were—he was still stiff and loopy from his medication.  Whatever he was trying to do sent a spasm of pain crawling over his features.

“Stop moving,” Aelin insisted. “You’ve got some broken ribs and a broken leg and your wrist is sprained.”

“I—then why does my head hurt?” He asked.

Poor, silly man.

“That would be the concussion.”

Rowan huffed, squeezing his eyes shut.  “Right.”

“You’re in pain,” Aelin said, trying to pull away again. “Let me go get the nurse, they should know you’re awake.”

Shaking his head, Rowan snagged her hand again and tightened his grip. “No.  It’s fine, just stay.”

Aelin didn’t like that.  Not at all.

“You are literally gritting your teeth in pain,” she said.

“Aelin.” Rowan tugged on her hand, his index finger hooking with hers. “I’m fine.”

She ducked her head, suddenly unable to meet his gaze.  She had too many thoughts and emotions rolling inside her, too many things she couldn’t define well enough.  Especially not now. 

“I was really scared, Rowan,” she whispered.  “I saw the newscast of the avalanche and thought—I thought…”

Aelin cut off as another wave of tears clogged her throat.

“Aelin,” Rowan said.  He pushed through the pain that he was so obviously in and pulled on her hand so she had to lean in closer. “I’m sorry.”

That should have dried up any and all tears that Aelin was fight back. “You’re what?  What do you have to be sorry for?  You fell off a cliff.  You broke your leg.  Don’t you dare try and sit up, I will go get a nurse, don’t try me.”

“For the bar, for the cold shoulder,” he said, only partially speaking over her. “For not talking to you.”

Aelin sank down on the side of the hospital bed, careful of any wires or tubes she might disrupt.

“Yeah,” she murmured. “I am still mad at you about that too.”

Rowan, to his credit, looked chagrined. “Sorry.”

Aelin squeezed his hand. “You don’t have to tell me everything, not now anyways, but I—I want to know.”

“My last girlfriend couldn’t handle the job,” Rowan told her, hardly waiting for her to stop speaking. “Not all the calls in, the long trips I’d be gone for, not the potential danger of it all with storms like this one.  She kept showing me other jobs to apply for, telling me to get a real degree at a real college…eventually she told me to make a choice.  So I came to Terrasen.”

That had been almost three years ago at this point, if Aelin did her math correctly.

“It didn’t seem fair to put anyone else through that,” he concluded.

“That doesn’t seem fair,” Aelin said, “not fair of her, not fair to you, to anyone.  Not if you love the job.  Not if your partner loves you.  And it’s not fair of you to make that choice for me, either.”

She brushed away the remnants of her last round of tears.  Heart hammering in her chest, Aelin fixed Rowan with a stare she only reserved for Fleetfoot.  A mix of amused disappointment.  It seemed apt for the Buzzard.

“I like you, Buzzard.  But you can’t keep acting like a fool.”

“Yes, ma’am,” he conceded.

Aelin nodded resolutely and then, before she could lose her nerve, leaned forward and planted a kiss on his forehead.  She thought it perfectly reasonable to leave it at that but then Rowan shifted beneath her and before she could pull back, his mouth collided with hers.

Even drugged up and concussed, Rowan knew how to kiss a woman.  Aelin certainly wasn’t one to pass up on this opportunity.  She kissed him deeply, feeling the spark of something flare in her chest and spread like wildfire through her blood.

Aelin pulled back far sooner than she wanted to, but she knew he was still recovering.

“Took you long enough,” she told him.

“Sorry, had a mountain fall on me.”

“Ass.”  Aelin forced herself to pull away from him for good this time.  She went back to get her phone from her purse. “I need to let your mom know you’re awake.”

Rowan made a strangled noise. “You’re talking to my mother?”

“Mostly just texting right now.  But she did invite me to family dinner next Sunday, so you’ve gotta be out of the hospital for that.”

“We don’t do family dinner.”

“Now we do,” she planted another kiss on his forehead and dialed into FaceTime. “Hi, Iona!  Guess who’s awake!”

.*.*.*.*.

epilogue next

[mysteriousauthor448]

What if Class of 09 Flipside was made by a Woman?

I liked Class of 09. I liked it's snappy dialogue, I liked it's social commentary of high school and women's experiences with creepy men and adulthood, I liked how it gave such a compelling main character where you know she's awful yet acknowledge that she has her reasons without justification. I like Class of 09, both the original and re-up. What I don't like though, is Class of 09: The Flipside.

Setting my personal disgust with the feet routes and the 'Palestinian slave trade' comment aside, the writing in Flipside just is completely different from the last 2. Instead of focusing on the biting social commentary of the woman experience, it instead prioritizes shock value with only some form of substance (e.g, jecka seeing nicole's suicide, jeffrey's death, the ending messages apart from the creator) And you know what else sucks? We never actually got to explore Jecka properly of who she is as a character, her relationships with her family, friends, former friends...Sure, we get doses of her life like her dad which does do what the game promised: Change how we saw the Class of 09 story before. We now understand why Jecka was terrified of the cop's yelling, not only because an powerful authority abusing his power but also experienced it before. See, this was the stuff I expected from Flipside. This was what the game should've prioritised in. Instead, it seemed like the creator would rather showcase his fetishes and spite people that don't like him or the game. From that there on, I keep thinking to myself: 'you know, this game would've been better had a woman wrote this.' But can they?

I'm a woman experienced high school before, even tried to fit the class of 09 writing style on my characters in my own personal time. Given how a lot of class of 09 fans are disappointed with the new game and I want to get into writing publically, I figure that I be the one to rewrite Class of 09 The Flipside in hopes of re-capturing the essence of the first two games alongside the game's intentions itself. Even though it's still in development, I've already outlined the routes/endings so far for you all to get a peek:

Route 1/Ending 1 - Invasion of MySpace: The foot route will be replaced by Jecka taking and making videos/pictures in order to make money after being fired from her job. Think of it like a late 2000s or early 2010s version of OnlyFans. This would help remain the social commentaries of men’s creepy behaviour to women alongside how their safety is affected. There’ll be an option of whether to go to the creepy man’s house or go home. If she goes home, she finds Nicole giving her dad a handjob with a dead expression. It ends with Jecka killing herself and implies that Nicole followed her too (not half naked though, just in regular clothes cuz I'm not a freak unlike someone)

Ending 2 - MurderSpace: If Jecka chose to go to the creepy man’s home, she gets murdered and placed like a doll in the man’s basement. 

Route 2/Ending 6 - Breaking the Wounded Heart: Jecka finds herself to work with Karen and Ari at Dominos. Overtime, they start to form a bond and Jecka herself starts to mature and finds Nicole to be unbearable. Jecka finally breaks off her friendship with Nicole and cuts forward to the future where Jecka currently lives a peaceful yet boring life, reflecting on the past with Nicole, wondering if she’s really better off without Nicole because while she’s now in a stable life without the chaos, it's the chaos that entertained her: Nicole entertained her. And now it’s all gone. But in the end, it suggests that things are much better with Nicole gone as it cuts to a phone beeping and Jecka looking down at it with a smile while Ari is by her side. Yes, this is the route where Jeckari is canon. I know this sounds too sweet for Class of 09 but I want it to still match the vibe with it being less shocking but more real in a way. Something too realistically depressing but still mundane. This is what I planned to be the saddest but best outcome of the game. The most real I should say. 

Ending 5 - Was it all worth it?: If Jecka chooses Nicole over her new friends, it ends with her and Nicole being homeless smoking drugs in an abandoned forest with Jecka reflecting on whether or not she made a good choice with Nicole before commenting on needing a Xanax to distract her from the regret and pain. 

Route 3/Ending 3 - Fuck Men!: Jecka gets into a relationship with a presumably kind-hearted gentleman. Nicole tries to warn her but Jecka won’t listen. She then is coerced by the man into doing sexual favours for his economic gain, making her become a sex trafficked victim.

Route 4/Ending 4 - Drunk Drive Delivery: Same route where Ari dies but instead the ending changed to Jecka being arrested for 6 months where the ending monologue would showcase her conflicted in anger and regret. Plus, it plays more to the idea of Jecka ‘dying at 21’ logic with being forced to work: adult party culture: that kind of thing. 

I'd be happy to hear any feedback or/and ideas for this rewrite.

[bookishjules]

things about rebecca lewis i myself choose to believe:

she went to new jersey for college because she wanted to be away from home but not so far that she couldn't hop a train and check in on her mom and brother

yes, that means when she came home to "do laundry" it was never because she had dirty clothes. new jersey is far enough from brooklyn that such a trip for laundry does not make sense in measure of time or money.

she studied art history in college because it was more financially reliable than going for art or fashion design

she knew simon wanted to study music, and she wasn't going to risk their mom not having something to fall back, given her propensity for not being able to handle difficult situations in a stable manner

after college, she moved back to brooklyn less because she wanted to and more because of the reasons she only went as far as nj for college, despite jobs at art galleries and museums being harder to get in nyc than they are elsewhere.. which is how she ends up working at the restaurant that caters simon's engagement party

as for her own romantic endeavors.. i don't believe she gets married until her early 30s. unlike shadowhunters, she has no reason to marry or have kids earlier, and with her touch of hyper-independance and the lag in her career, it takes a bit longer for her to settle down

as for who she settles down with.. it really could be anyone. i just know she'll make an incredible partner to whoever she ends up with

she is also, for that matter, an incredible aunt to simon and isabelle's kiddos

as a kid herself, she didn't have a clary, whose family she could escape to. she had friends, but no one close enough to find a real father figure in any of theirs after her own had passed. not that she'd really wanted a replacement. but i think simon gained a lot from having luke to lean on in his teenage years, and becky never had that opportunity

nor, for that matter, did she have someone to be a mother figure when her own mother wasn't doing the best job. simon had rebecca, but rebecca only had herself.

none of this felt like a burden to rebecca at the time ofc. she likes helping people. she likes being there for her brother, likes having him rely on her. but the result of it all tugs at her well into adulthood

finally and least relevantly: her favorite taylor swift album is red.

[subby-succubus]

Imagine you're sitting in my lap and I'm giving you pills from an unlabeled bottle. Little capsules, all different colors, almost like candy. You keep taking them like a good little whore, sucking my fingers each time. You have no idea what they are, and you don't care. You'd do anything you were told to do AND you'd probably take a pill you found on the ground. There was no way this could ever be your limit.

Your head is spinning a little already. The lights are brighter than they should be. You can mostly think clearly. Well, you THINK you're thinking clearly. Oh, it's time for the next pill! How many is that? Has to be more than five, couldn't be more than, um... Twenty? You think maybe they're starting to really kick in now. Every sense is pulsing, growing and receding in intensity. You try to say something, but it slips out of your mouth and turns into a few happy syllables. "I know, Angel. Here, one more."

I ask what you want to do. You giggle and turn and slip to the floor. You reach for my belt and fumble at the buckle. I smile at you as I undo it and strip off my pants. "Of course we can."

Your mouth isn't so much opened for me as it is hanging limp, but it's warm and wet all the same. I take hold of your hair and push inside your throat. I'm having to do all the work, but you seem happy enough. You're not blacking out just yet, but it can't be far away. You moan and fumble at your own tits and pretend to help me fuck you, but you're getting limper with every passing second.

I figure I'm ready to move on. You figure you're ready to go to sleep. We can both have what we want, really. I strip off what little you're wearing, and the last thing you feel as you drift away is the head of my cock starting to enter your...

Imagine you're waking up, right where you went to sleep. How long has it been? You're still naked. I'm still there. I have one hand on your cheek and the other jerking my cock, slowly. When I see your eyes flutter open, I speed up. You try to say something. Try.

I take my hand off my cock to grab the pill bottle. I shake three of them into your hand. "Go ahead."

You take them, of course. Then I throw back the rest of the bottle into my mouth and swallow them all.

You're shocked. I'm laughing. My hand is back on my cock, making myself cum on your face. "It was a joke, silly slut. They're all placebos!" I smear my load across your face, let you down gently to a lying position. I wipe my cock on your clothes, throw them on top of you, and walk away.

Now imagine that before starting our little game tonight, I took the placebo bottle and put two dozen real pills on top of it. You swallowed them all. What were they? You don't know. I've already forgotten. Who gives a shit anyway. What matters is I drugged you into unconsciousness, did God knows what with your body, and then convinced you that you were sober the whole time. Isn't that hilarious?

- Sinister

Wow. Wow wow wow. Yes please.

I'd just keep taking anything you gave me. I'd want to be a good girl for you after all. Each pill making me more and more needy. Each time I think less and less about the consequences by replacing those thoughts with how badly I want to be obedient. I mean, I can't say no. How could I? I want so badly to please you. Wanting to pleasure you with my mouth. Wanting more, but feeling too sleepy. I fall asleep for you to do whatever you want to my little, weak body.

I wake up feeling hot and used. Not sure what happened to me. Not sure what is currently happening. Not fully understanding how I could be like that with placebos. But if you say so, it must be true. After all, you wouldn't lie to me. It's my fault for being such a dumb slut. It's my fault for being so easy.

It would just make our game so much harder for me to win. Just like it should be.

[scuderia-hamilton]

listen i don't like Daniel, that's a fact, but what's been happening to him during the course of this weekend has been nothing but cruel, unfair and frankly, disrespectful (even if the rumours turn out to be false). i hate nothing more in this sport than teams just dropping drivers in the middle of the season, with little to no warning whatsoever, if they didn't perform to the expectations. these people made and are still making so many sacrifices to be able to be in this sport, they work so fucking hard and i just hate seeing it go to waste like that. it's simply not fair.

you can come up with the regular excuses of it being a cutthroat sport, them being rich, white, privileged men, Daniel performing poorly, i do not care. yes, he hasn't been performing the way the team expected him to do so, but at the end of the day, he's still human and no one deserves that kind of treatment. rbr has been fucking over their drivers left and right and i absolutely despise that more teams are starting to do the same.

sending him out there to give interviews and answer questions about his own future in the sport, when he doesn't even know what it will be, is honestly the lowest of the low. they know exactly how nasty and rude f1 media is and a team putting their own driver in that position is something that should not be normalized. seeing his post race interview made my heart ache for him, he was literally a second away from crying then and there.

just as i've been upset about Nyk De Vries and Logan Sargeant being dropped in the same way, i feel the same for Daniel. it's not about whether you like a driver or not, it's about the principle. this is their dream, the thing they've been working for since they were literal toddlers and seeing it ripped away from them, without even giving them a proper shot is just inhumanely cruel.

i know that Daniel has been around for a while and he got to live his dream, but i still think it's unfair. rbr has been promising him this and that since he replaced De Vries last summer, just to (allegedly) drop him the next season with six more races left. even if they really want to replace him, then let him finish this season. he deserves that much.

i'm excited about the possibility of Liam finally getting a real shot, don't get me wrong and if he really ends up replacing Daniel, i'm happy for him, but i would like him to come into the sport under different circumstances. i also think that hating the driver who replaces another one, is pointless and frankly, stupid. this is not their decision, they obviously take the opportunity, cause getting into f1 is nearly impossible.

this is basically just to say that maybe we should remember from time to time, that they're not just athletes, but real people with feelings and we should always stay kind and compassionate. i've already seen so many hate posts about him, which shouldn't surprise me, but it did. this fandom likes to just jump on a person who's an easy target at the moment or pick and choose who they don't like at that time and all hell breaks loose.

the same thing happened when there were rumours about Daniel replacing Checo and all of a sudden, everyone had an issue with Checo's performance, him as a person, his actions and everyone thought that he deserved to be replaced. you don't have to like all of them, but at least be consistent with your opinions and know where the line is. you can't be upset about one driver being replaced mid-season, then turn around and wish that to happen to a different driver. that's hypocritical.

[bixels]

I'm not explaining why re-imagining characters as POC is not the same as white-washing, here of all places should fucking understand.

[bunnieswithknives]

Okay but does Peri KNOW that Dev has a robotic leg when he shows up? Something about the fact that Peri's wand is a cane and the fact that Dev could have kept his leg and just had a cane for the rest of his life instead tickles my brain.

I mean he doesn't know immediately, he wasn't like briefed or anything, but he basically lives in Dev's house so he definitely finds out. Peri doesn't comment on or react to it all though really, there's no reason for him to think anything of it, plenty of people have missing limbs, a lot of people are born without them, it doesn't necessarily mean anything sinister happened. He had no reason to pry or ask and I think Peri's lack of reaction to it helped Dev feel a bit more comfortable in his skin. (Not by much but.. a little bit.)

[ghost-bxrd]

You guys ever think about an AU where Jason goes to hound Tim through Titans Tower, and, mid pursuit—while Tim is screaming at him about the second Robin being his hero, tryin to crawl away in a trail of blood—realizes he’s become an even worse version of his own mother, who sold him out to the Joker?

Because I do.

[peopleareaproblem]

Some "minor" things from the Carlos Luna summary that have popped up in Junior Year:

the original Shrimp Party

Fig never going to class

Porter telling Fig she's good at rage

I assume these things got mentions in the summary specifically because they reappeared in Junior Year, so I combed through the video again looking for more "unnecessary" details...

General weirdly specific stuff:

we see Madam Silvaine's character card, even though she's a very minor NPC

the gang maybe went a bit too far while interrogating Biz

Gorgug was fed a flower by Telemaine

Ragh was hooking up with Fathethriel

Fathethriel helped Aelwyn trick the Bad Kids

Arianwen:

Arianwen taught at Hudol

frequent focus on Arianwen and her character art

Gilear:

Gilear couldn't become the guidance counsellor because Jawbone got that job

Gilear was living in Hallariel's garage

Gilear briefly died

Fabian was having visions of turning Gilear-esque in the future

we haven't seen Gilear in a while huh? everyone forgot him

Gilear was in the wheel well

"Fig's dads have the worst luck" (direct quote)

Gilear finds the sin armors, refuses to put on the kink armor

Gilear dies twice in Hell

Gilear has to stay out of the Forest of the Nightmare King because they can't keep spending their diamonds revivifying him

after saving the day, Gilear got a little proud in the pride armor and died

Those sure are a lot of minor details about a character who hasn't been in Junior Year since his brief appearance in episode 3, huh?

[uniiiquehecrt]

Voice actors are NOT the same as actors.

It takes a specific kind of skill-set and training to be able to warp and meld the voice. It takes a certain kind of talent and dedication to hone that talent into the ability to meld the voice and invoke emotion with one's voice alone. Actors are used to using their voice secondarily to their body language and their facial expressions. It's all mirrored back on camera. They do have nuance. But it's a different kind of nuance and a different kind of training to produce that nuance.

Voice actors might get their likeness transposed on their character's design, and maybe their mannerisms might seep into the character's animation. But when it's all said and done: their presence is in their voice. They are bringing a character to life, showing that emotion in their voice, trying to keep a specific accent, drawl, pitch, tone in that voice and keep it consistent for their recording sessions.

The voice actor is like a classically trained musician who can play first chair in a competitive, world-renown orchestra. The actor (who fills the voice actor's role) is like a moot who played violin in beginner and intermediate high school orchestra and thinks they can get into Juilliard with that 2-4 years of experience.

This doesn't mean that the HS orchestra moot can't play. They can even be really good at it. Maybe they won competitions and sat first chair. But they are not in the same league as the person who's been training their whole lives and lives and breathes to hone their craft using the instrument and all of the training they've ever acquired to perfect it. They are not meant for the same roles. They are not in the same caliber. You do not hire the HS equivalent when you want to play complex music in a competitive orchestra.

Actors are not the same as voice actors.

And furthermore, actors - especially big name actors - taking the roles of animated characters for big budget films or TV pilots makes no sense anyways when - at least in the case of TV pilots - there's not a point to hiring a big budget actors anyways. That money could be used elsewhere (like paying your animators), and the talent that is brought onto the screen for X character could then be hired on to voice said character no recasting required.

I wouldn't say voice acting as a profession is in danger exactly, but it's certainly being disrespected and overlooked for celebrity clout, and this has ALWAYS been an issue. Shoot, even Robin Williams knew that much - which is why he tried so hard not to be used as a marketing chess piece for Aladdin and got royally pissed off when it happened anyways. People shouldn't go to any movie (but especially not animated films) because "oh famous actor is in it". People should go because it's a good movie and the voice acting is good.

People who honest to god think that voice actors are replaceable because "oh well anyone can voice act" or "I like xyz celebrity so naturally it'll be good" ... Honestly I just wish you'd reassess your priorities because you're missing the point and are part of the problem.

Voice Actors ≠ Actors.

[writeouswriter]

Bro, bro, there is no second Pacific Rim movie, bro, it was just a bad dream, go back to sleep

[comebackali]

for our phantom menace rewatch this week we are doing a “qui gon touch count” to count how many times qui gon (bad) touches anakin